RECQN  f 


GIFT  or 

MICHAEL  REE^E 


HANDY-300K 


Literary  Curiosities, 


BY 

WILLIAM   S.  WALSH, 

AUTHOR   OF   "FAUST:   THE  POEM  AND  THE  LEGEND,' 
"PARADOXES  OF  A  PHILISTINE,"   ETC. 


PHILADELPHIA: 

J.    B.    LIPPINCOTT    COMPANY. 
1893. 


(^^%^^9(^ 


Copyright,  1892, 

BY 

J.  B.  LiPPiNcoTT  Company. 


Printed  by  J.  B.  Lippincott  Company,  Phiiaoeiphia,  U.S.A. 


P/Vf3 


PREFACE. 


Primarily  the  aim  of  this  Handy-book  is  to  entertain.  If  it  suc- 
ceeds in  instructing  as  well,  there  is  no  harm  done.  But  a  sugar  coat- 
ing of  grateful  gust  has  been  quite  as  much  an  object  with  the  compiler 
as  the  tonic  which  it  may  envelop. 

It  is  obvious  that  in  so  large  a  field  as  is  afforded  by  the  curiosities 
of  literature  the  embarrassment  has  been  mainly  that  of  riches.  No 
single  volume  nor  a  dozen  volumes  of  this  size  could  exhaust  the 
material.  Nevertheless,  if  the  compiler  has  been  even  approximately 
successful,  if  his  gleanings  from  the  rich  harvest-field  have  been  fairly 
judicious,  a  gain  in  interest  and  even  in  value  has  been  achieved  by 
consulting  the  limitations  of  space. 

At  one  time  he  had  thought  of  disarming  a  certain  kind  of  criticism  by 
calling  this  "A  Dictionary  of  Things  Not  Worth  Knowing,"  the  bulk 
of  the  matter  herein  contained  being  either  in  substance  or  in  detail 
that  which  is  deemed  below  the  dignity  of  encyclopaedias,  dictionaries, 
or  literary  manuals.  However,  we  are  gradually  coming  to  learn  that 
there  is  no  great  and  no  small  in  the  achievements  of  the  human  in- 
telligence ;  that  what  has  ever  interested  men  in  the  past  must  preserve 
an  interest  for  the  student  of  human  nature  at  all  times  ;  that  the  liter- 
ary trifling  which  pleased  the  keenest  wits  at  particular  periods  of 
mental  development  has  a  distinct  historical  value  in  the  retrospect; 
that  the  blunders  of  great  minds  are  worth  preserving  as  successive 
steps  towards  the  altar  of  Knowledge ;  that  in  proverbs  is  embodied  the 
wisdom  of  many  as  well  as  the  wit  of  one  ;  and  that  the  vagaries  of  slang 
are  dignified  by  the  fact  that  slang  may  become  the  scholarly  language 
of  the  future,  just  as  the  slang  of  the  past  is  nearly  the  richest  and  most 
idiomatic  portion  of  the  current  speech  of  to-day.  Even  the  tracing 
of  literary  analogies,  which  is  held  in  some  disrepute  by  those  who  see 
in  it  merely  a  low  detective  cunning,  a  joy  in  convicting  nobler  minds 
of  larceny  and  of  discrediting  the  gifts  of  Nature's  bounty, — even  this 
is  an  exercise  which,  reverently  conducted,  is  full  of  instruction  and 
profit  as  well  as  curious  interest.  To  learn  that  there  is  nothing  new 
under  the  sun  is  to  take  to  heart  the  lesson  that  the  right  direction 
of  human  achievement  is  to  co-ordinate  and  harmonize  the  disjecta 

3 


4  PREFACE. 

membra  of  the  old  and  ever  young,  and  thus  arrive  at  the  sum  and 
essence — the  very  heart  of  things.  He  is  the  poet,  the  creator,  the 
mighty  man,  who  does  this,  just  as  he  is  the  great  sculptor  who  liber- 
ates from  the  marble  the  image  of  all  conceivable  beauty  that  already 
resides  therein.  And,  to  run  the  analogy  to  the  ground,  one  might 
trace  the  history  of  that  block  of  marble  up  to  its  native  quarry  with 
nothing  of  invidious  reflection  on  the  sculptor. 

A  certain  proportion  of  the  articles,  long  and  short,  which  are  here 
collected  appeared  in  various  periodicals, — in  Lippincott" s  Magazine 
and  the  American  Notes  and  Queries  of  Philadelphia,  in  the  Illus- 
trated American  and  Belford's  Magazine  of  New  York.  This  fact  is 
mentioned  not  only  as  an  acknowledgment  of  courteous  permission 
to  reproduce  them,  but  also  as  affording  an  opportunity  to  remark 
that,  in  the  last  year  or  so,  some  of  these  articles  have  been  pretty 
freely  levied  upon  by  makers  of  literary  manuals,  whose  apparent 
priority  of  publication  might  confuse  the  unwary  as  to  which  was  the 
follower  and  which  the  leader.  The  point  is  not  worth  insisting  upon, 
however,  for,  in  a  less  flagrant  way,  most  of  us  compilers  are  indebted 
to  our  predecessors.  As  to  myself  (let  us  drop  all  awkward  locutions), 
I  honestly  acknowledge  that  I  have  found  great  assistance  in  such 
books  of  reference  as  Bartlett's  "  Familiar  Quotations,"  Bent's  "  Fa- 
mous Short  Sayings,"  and  Norton's  "Political  Americanisms,"  also 
in  such  collections  of  bibelots  and  curios  as  Brewer's  "  Dictionary  of 
Phrase  and  Fable,"  Bombaugh's  "Gleanings  for  the  Curious,"  and 
Wm.  T.  Dobson's  and  Davenport  Adams's  various  compilations. 
More  than  this,  I  have  consulted  the  English  Notes  and  Queries  with 
predatory  aim,  and  have  carried  on  a  war  of  conquest  amid  the  files 
of  old  periodicals.  Where  credit  was  possible,  it  has  been  given ;  but 
where  (as  does  happen  occasionally)  a  particular  article  is  almost  a 
cento  made  up  from  a  dozen  different  authorities,  it  is  well-nigh  impos- 
sible properly  to  apportion  the  credit.  This  general  confession,  there- 
fore, must  suffice. 

In  conclusion,  I  must  record  my  indebtedness  to  Mr.  Stephen  Pfeil, 
who  contributed  the  articles  on  "  Epigrams,"  "  Impromptus,"  and 
"  Quodlibets,"  as  well  as  a  number  of  the  shorter  articles  embodying 
political  Americanisms,  etc.  And  a  special  debt  of  gratitude  is  due 
to  Mr.  Joseph  McCreery,  the  scholarly  proof-reader  in  the  establishment 
of  Messrs.  J.  B.  Lippincott  Co.,  whose  corrections  and  suggestions  went 
far  beyond  the  limits  of  mere  proof-reading. 

Wm.  S.  Walsh. 


A  TABLE  OF  THE  LONGER  ARTICLES. 


PAGE 

Acrostic lo 

Advertising,  Quaint  and  Curious     ...  17 

Agony  Column 28 

--Alliteration 34 

Alphabetic  Diversions 40 

Ambiguities 47 

Anagram 52 

Autographs  and  Autograph- Hunters  .    .  71 

Bathos 81 

Bibles,  Curious , 90 

Biblioklept 93 

Bibliomania 95 

Binding 100 

Bookplate 112 

Bouts-rimes 115 

Bulls,  Irish  and  not  Irish 124 

Catch 141 

Charade 146 

Chronogram 154 

Ciphers  or  Cryptograms 157 

Claimants,  Literary 163 

Coincidences 170 

CoUabpration 175 

Compliments 181 

Criticism,  Curiosities  of 197 

Dedications 220 

Dictionary 231 

Echo  Verses 261 

Emblematic,  Figurate  or  Shaped  Poems  270 

Emendation,  Conjectural 277 

English  as  she  is  spoke 285 

Enigma 292 

Epigrams 303 

Epitaphs,  Curiosities  of 314 

Errors,  Vulgar 334 

Etiquette 340 

Forgeries,  Literary 383 

French  as  she  is  spoke 396 

Handwriting  and  Writers 442 

History,  The  Incredibility  of 461 

Hoaxes,  Some  Famous 467 

Hyperbole 501 


PAGB 

Ignorance,  Humors  of 508 

Ignorances,  Our  Small 516 

Impromptus 525 

'"'i^'^ 543 

Interrupted  Sentences 550 

Interview 554 

Irony 561 

Jesuitical  Compositions  or  Equivoques  .  574 

Laconic 598 

Lion-Hunter,  The 638 

Lipograms 643 

Literal  Sense,  In  a 646 

Lost  Treasures  of  Literature 658 

Macaronic  Literature 670 

Meiosis 696 

Memoria  Technica 698 

Metaphors,  Mixed 708 

Mistakes  of  Authors 723 

Monosyllable 735 

Mosaics  or  Centos 744 

Mystification  and  Imposture 760 

Names,  Curiosities  of 778 

Names  in  Fiction 786 

Nonsense,  Verse  and  Prose 808 

Numbers,  Curiosities  of 824 

Oaths  and  Curses 831 

Palindrome 851 

Paradoxes  and  Puzzles 855 

Parody 862 

Plagiarism  and  Plagiarists 891 

Poetic  Prose 903 

Punctuation 924 

Puns  and  Punning 928 

Quodlibet 93^ 

Quotation  and  Misquotation 944 

Real  People  in  Fiction 949 

Reviews,  Curiosities  of 962 

Rhymes,  Eccentricities  of 969 

Self-Appreciation 99^ 

Spelling,  Eccentricities  of 1024 

Translation,  Curiosities  of 1057 

Typographical  Errors 1065 

5 


HANDY-BOOK 

OF 

LITERARY   CURIOSITIES. 


A,  the  first  letter  of  the  alphabet  in  all  languages  which,  like  English, 
derive  their  alphabets  directly  or  indirectly  from  the  Phoenician.  It  corre- 
sponds to  the  aleph  of  the  Phoenician  and  old  Hebrew  and  the  alpha  of  the 
Greek.  Aleph,  means  an  ox,  and  the  character  is  derived  from  the  Egyp- 
tian hieratic  symbol,  in  which  the  Phoenicians  undoubtedly  saw  a  rude  re- 
semblance to  the  horned  head  of  an  ox.  As  a  symbol  A  denotes  the  first  of  an 
actual  or  possible  series  :  thus,  in  music  it  is  the  name  of  the  first  note  of  the 
relative  minor  scale,  the  la  of  Italian,  French,  and  Spanish  musicians  ;  and  in 
the  mnemonic  words  of  logic  it  stands  for  the  universal  affirmative  proposi- 
tion,— e.g.,  all  men  are  mortal ;  while  I  stands  for  the  particular  affirmative 
(some  men  are  mortal),  E  for  the  universal  negative  (no  men  are  mortal), 
and  O  for  the  particular  negative  (some  men  are  not  mortal).  It  is  some- 
times contended  that  these  symbols  were  of  Greek  origin  ;  but  the  weight  of 
authority  makes  them  date  from  the  thirteenth  century,  and  it  is  not  unlikely 
that  they  may  have  been  taken  from  the  Latin  Aff  Irmo,  I  affirm,  and  nEgO,  I 
deny.  In  the  Greek  form,  a,  alpha,  this  use  of  the  letter  as  the  first  of  a  series 
is  even  more  common.  Thus,  "  I  am  Alpha  and  Omega,  the  beginning  and 
the  ending,  saith  the  Lord"  {Rev.  i.  8).  "  The  a  acid  is  converted  by  heat  into 
the  /3  acid"  ( Watt's  Fowneis  Chemistry).  The  letter  A  standing  by  itself,  es- 
pecially  as  a  word,  was  formerly  spelt  in  oral  recitations  A  per  se  a, — that  is, 
A  standing  by  itself  makes  the  word  a,  and  this  oral  phrase  committed  to 
writing  was  gradually  corrupted  to  A  per  C,  Apersey,  Apersie,  and  frequently 
used  as  a  synonyme  for  first,  chief,  most  excellent, — eg.,  "The  floure  and  A 
per  se  of  Troie  and  Grece"  (Henryson  :  Testament  of  Cresseide,  I475)- 

Al,  popular  slang,  meaning  first-rate,  excellent,  is  borrowed  from  the 
ratings  used  in  Lloyd's  Register  of  Shipping.  The  higher  classes  of  vessels 
are  styled  A,  and  the  figure  l  following  the  class  letter  shows  that  the  equip- 
ment is  complete  and  efficient.  Hence  "  I  am  A  i"  means  "  I'm  all  right,"  and 
to  say  of  another  that  "  he  or  she  is  A  i"  is  to  pay  one  of  the  highest  conipli^- 
ments  in  the  slang  repertoire.  Thus,  Shirley  Brooks  in  "The  Guardian  Knot" 
makes  one  of  his  characters  say,  "She  is  A  I  ;  in  fact,  the  aye-wunnest  girl  I 
ever  saw."  Curiously  enough,  the  French  have  a  similar  commendatory  ex- 
pression, "  He  is  marked  with  an  A"  ("C'est  un  homme  marque  i  I'A"),  the 
money  coined  in  Paris  being  formerly  stamped  with  an  A. 


8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

A  outrance  (not  h  Voutrance),  a  French  expression,  meaning  much  the 
same  as  the  English  phrase  "  to  the  bitter  end,"  originally  applied  to  a  contest 
between  two  antagonists  who  were  each  determined  to  conquer  or  to  die,  but 
now  more  often  used  in  the  sense  of  "  to  excess,"  "  to  the  utmost  extent,"  and 
applied  to  any  custom,  habit,  or  fashion  which  is  carried  to  an  extravagant 
excess. 

Ab  ovo  (literally,  "  from  the  egg,"  hence,  from  the  beginning),  an  old  Roman 
phrase,  generally  with  allusion  to  the  custom  of  beginning  a  meal  with  eggs, 
in  this  case  forming  the  first  part  of  the  phrase  ab  ovo  usque  ad  mala,  from  the 
egg  to  the  apples,  i.e.,  from  beginning  to  end  ;  but  sometimes  the  allusion  is  to 
the  poet  mentioned  by  Horace  ("  Ars  Poetica,"  147)  who  began  the  history  of 
the  Trojan  war  with  the  story  of  the  egg  from  which  Helen  was  fabled  to  have 
been  born.  Horace  contrasts  him  unfavorably  with  Homer,  who  plunged  at 
once  into  the  midst  of  things,  or  in  medias  res. 

Abacot,  a  spurious  word  which  by  a  remarkable  series  of  blunders  has 
gained  a  foothold  in  the  dictionaries.  It  is  usually  defined  as  "a  cap  of  state, 
wrought  up  into  the  shape  of  two  crowns,  worn  formerly  by  English  kings." 
Neither  word  nor  thing  has  any  real  existence.  In  Hall's  "  Chronicles"  the 
word  bicocket  (Old  Fr.  bicoquet,  a  sort  of  peaked  cap  or  head-dress)  happened 
to  be  misprinted  abococKet.  Other  writers  copied  the  error.  Then  Holinshed 
improved  the  new  word  to  abococke,  and  Abraham  Fleming  to  abacot,  and  so  it 
spun  merrily  along,  a  sort  of  rolling  stone  of  philology,  shaping  itself  by  con- 
tinual attrition  into  something  as  different  in  sense  as  in  sound  from  its  first 
original,  until  Spelman  landed  the  prize  in  his  "  Glossarium,"  giving  it  the 
definition  quoted  above.  So  through  Bailey,  Ash,  and  Todd  it  has  been  handed 
down  to  our  time, — a  standing  exemplar  of  the  solidarity  of  dictionaries,  and 
of  the  ponderous  indolence  with  which  philologers  repeat  without  examining 
the  errors  of  their  predecessors.  Nay,  the  error  has  been  amusingly  accent- 
uated by  calling  in  the  aid  of  a  sister  art  that  has  provided  a  rough  wood-cut 
of  the  mythical  abacot,  which  in  its  turn  has  been  servilely  reproduced. 

Abiit,exce5sit,evasit,  enipit,  a  potent  Latin  phrase  which  loses  all  its 
virility  in  any  possible  English  rendition  {e.g..  He  has  fled,  retreated,  es- 
caped, broken  forth).  It  was  used  by  Cicero  at  the  beginning  of  his  second 
oration  against  Catiline  to  express  by  the  piling  up  of  synonymous  words  the 
abrupt  manner  of  the  conspirator's  escape  from  Rome. 

Abolitionist,  in  American  politics,  specifically  a  member  of  the  anti- 
slavery  party,  which  dates  from  1829,  when  a  handful  of  enthusiasts  rallied 
around  the  stalwart  figure  of  William  Lloyd  Garrison  in  a  fierce  crusade 
against  slave-owners  as  criminals.  In  183 1,  Garrison  founded  the  first  Abo- 
litionist paper.  The  Liberator.  In  1832  the  New  England  Anti-Slavery  Society 
was  formed  in  Boston,  and  in  1833  the  growth  of  abolition  sentiment  led  to  the 
formation  of  the  American  Anti-Slavery  Society  in  Philadelphia,  with  Beriah 
Green  as  its  president  and  John  G.  Whittier  as  one  of  the  secretaries.  In 
1840  the  Abolitionists  divided  into  two  wings,  one  favoring  abolition  through 
constitutional  amendment,  the  other,  with  Wendell  Phillips  as  its  chief  spokes- 
man, denouncing  the  constitution  as  a  bulwark  of  slavery.  Anti-slavery  senti- 
ment grew  faster  than  the  party  which  claimed  to  be  its  exponent  Before  the 
war  no  large  number  of  citizens,  even  in  the  North,  were  avowed  Abolitionists, 
though  after  the  war  a  majority  of  Northerners  proudly  insisted  that  they  had 
always  been  Abolitionists.  And  in  truth  they  could  point  back  to  the  fact  that 
Abolitionist  was  a  term  of  contempt  which  the  Democrats  usually  applied  to  all 
Republicans,  and  which  the  men  of  the  South  applied  indiscriminately  to  all 
Northerners  who  were  not  Democrats.     The  word  itself,  even,  in  connection 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  9 

with  slave-emancipation,  was  not  a  new  one.  In  England  and  all  her  colonies 
it  had  been  familiarly  applied  to  the  anti-slavery  agitators  led  by  Wilberforce 
and  had  been  accepted  by  them.  Thus,  T.  Clarkson  says,  "  Many  looked  upon 
the  Abolitionists  as  monsters"  ("  Slave  Trade,"  ii.  212, 1790).  In  America  also 
the  term  had  been  in  use  to  denote  the  opponents  of  slavery  who  began  an 
intermittent  protest  even  before  the  Revolution  ;  but  as  a  party  name  it  belongs 
distinctively  to  the  movement  of  which  Garrison  was  the  first  apostle. 

Abracadabra,  a  cabalistic  word  used  in  incantations,  and  supposed  to 
possess  mystic  powers  of  healing,  especially  when  written  in  this  triangular 
shape : 

ABRACADABRA 
ABRACADABR 
ABRACADAB 
ABRACADA 
A  B  R  A  C  A  D 
A  B  R  A  C  A 
A  B  R  A  C 
A  B  R  A 
A  B  R 
A  B 
A 
The  paper  on  which  this  was  written  was  to  be  folded  so  as  to  conceal  the 
writing,  stitched  with  white  thread,  and  worn  around  the  neck.     It  was  a  sov- 
ereign  remedy  for  fever  and  ague.     Possibly  the  virtue  lay  in   the  syllables 
Abra,  which  are  twice  repeated,  and  which  are  composed  of  the  first  letters  of 
the  Hebrew  words  signifying  Father,  Son,  and  Holy  Spirit, — Ab,  Ben,  Ranch 
Acadosh.     The  earliest  known  occurrence  of  the  word  is  in  a  poem  of  the 
second  century,  "  Prsecepta  de  Medicina,"  by  Q.  Serenas  Sammonicus.     It  is 
now  often  used  in  the  general  sense  of  a  spell,  or  pretended  conjuring,  jargon, 
or  gibberish. 

Absence  makes  the  heart  grow  fonder.  This  line  occurs  in  Thomas 
Haynes  Bayly's  song  "  Isle  of  Beauty."  There  is  proverbial  authority  for  this 
as  well  as  for  the  contrary  statement  that  absence  kills  love.  But  written 
literature  is  usually  on  Bayly's  side.  Charles  Hopkins  in  his  lines  "To  C.  C." 
says, — 

I  find  that  absence  still  increases  love. 

Howel  in  his  *'  Familiar  Letters"  (i.  i,  No.  6)  asserts,  "  Distance  sometimes 
endears  friendship,  and  absence  sweeteneth  it."     Frederick  W.  Thomas,  in  a 
short  poem,  "  Absence  Conquers  Love,"  boldly  traverses  the  titular  statement ; 
'Tis  said  that  absence  conquers  love. 

But,  oh,  believe  it  not  ! 
I've  tried,  alas  !  its  power  to  prove. 
But  thou  art  not  forgot. 

Desdemona,  in  Othello,  i.  2,  says.  "I  dote  upon  his  very  absence."  Charles 
Lamb,  in  his  "Dissertation  on  Roast  Pig,"  punningly  suggests  a  method  by 
which  the  absent  may  keep  their  memory  green  :  "  Presents,  I  often  say, 
endear  absents."  Bussy-Rabutin  shows  how  both  statements  may  be  recon- 
ciled : 

L' absence  est  ^  I'amour  ce  qu'est  au  feu  le  vent : 

11  eteint  le  petit,  il  allume  le  grand. 

La  Rochefoucauld  says,  "Friends  agree  best  at  a  distance;"  but  this  was  a 
popular  proverb  before  his  day,  and  a  similar  moral. is  presented  in  the  French 
adages,  "  To  preserve  friendship,  a  wall  must  be  put  between,"  and  "  A  little 


lo  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

absence  does  much  good  ;"  the  German,  "  Love  your  neighbor,  but  do  not  pull 
down  the  hedge ;"  the  Spanish,  "  Go  to  your  brother's  house,  but  not  every 
day  ;"  and  the  Scotch,  "They  are  aye  gude  that  are  far  awa."  But  proverbs 
would  not  be  proverbs  if  they  did  not  contradict  one  another.  The  last  quoted 
is  directly  traversed  by  the  French,  "The  absent  are  always  in  the  wrong," 
and  "  Absent,  none  without  fault ;  present,  none  without  excuse."  And  every 
language  furnishes  examples  to  support  this  :  e.g.,  the  Greek,  "  Friends  living 
far  away  are  no  friends  ;"  the  Latin,  "  He  that  is  absent  will  not  be  the  heir;" 
the  Spanish,  "  Absence  is  Jove's  foe :  far  from  the  eyes,  far  from  the  heart," 
and  "The  dead  and  the  absent  have  no  friends." 

Absolute  "Wisdom.  A  sobriquet  given  to  Sir  Matthew  Wood,  a  stanch 
supporter  of  Queen  Caroline  in  1821,  who,  having  been  reproached  for  giving 
foolish  advice  to  that  unhappy  queen,  diffidently  admitted  that  his  conduct 
might  not  be  "absolute  wisdom,"  and  was  unmercifully  chaffed  in  consequence 
by  the  wags  of  the  period.  He  was  made  a  baronet  by  Queen  Victoria  shortly 
after  her  accession,  in  acknowledgment,  it  was  said,  for  pecuniary  aid  given  to 
her  father,  the  Duke  of  Kent,  when  greatly  embarrassed. 

Accident  of  an  accident,  a  phrase  first  used  by  Lord  Thurlow.  Dur- 
ing a  debate  on  Lord  Sandwich's  administration  of  Greenwich  Hospital,  the 
Duke  of  Grafton  taunted  Thurlow,  then  Lord  Chancellor,  on  his  humble 
origin.  Thurlow  rose  from  the  woolsack,  and,  advancing  towards  the  duke, 
declared  he  was  amazed  at  his  grace's  speech.  "The  noble  duke,"'  he  cried, 
in  a  burst  of  oratorical  scorn,  "  cannot  look  before  him,  behind  him,  and  on 
either  side  of  him  without  seeing  some  noble  peer  who  owes  his  seat  in  this 
flouse  to  his  successful  exertions  in  the  profession  to  which  I  belong.  Does 
he  not  feel  that  it  is  as  honorable  to  owe  it  to  these  as  to  being  the  accident 
of  an  accident  .<"' 

Across  lots,  in  colloquial  American,  a  short  cut,  as  of  one  who  leaves  the 
public  highway  to  find  a  nearer  way  across  private  property.  The  phrase 
has  acquired  especial  prominence  through  Brigham  Young's  historic  threat, 
"  We'll  send  them  [the  Gentiles]  to  hell  across  lots." 

Acrostic  (Gr.  aKpoanxk;  <JJ<-po,  prefix,  and  arixoq,  row,  order,  litte),  a  once 
favorite  form  of  literary  legerdemain.  In  its  simplest  and  most  usual  form  it 
consists  of  a  copy  of  verses  whose  initial  letters  taken  in  order  spell  a  word, 
a  proper  name,  or  a  sentence.     The  following  specimen  is  by  Charles  Lamb : 

Go,  little  poem,  and  present 

Respectful  terms  of  compliment, 

A  Gentle  Lady  bids  thee  sprak  ; 

Courteous  is  She,  though  Thou  be  weak. 

Evoke  from  Heav'n,  as  thick  as  Manna, 

Joy  after  joy  on  Grace  Joanna. 

On  Fomham's  glebe  and  pasture  land 

A  blessing  pray.     Long,  long  may  stand. 

Not  touch'd  by  time,  the  Rectory  blithe. 

No  grudging  churl  dispute  his  tithe. 

At  Easter  be  the  offerings  due 

With  cheerful  spirit  paid.     Each  pew 

In  decent  order  fill'd.     No  noise 

Loud  intervene  to  drown  the  voice. 

Learning  or  wisdom,  of  the  Teacher. 

Impressive  be  the  Sacred  Preacher, 

And  strict  his  notes  on  Holy  Page. 

May  young  and  old  from  age  to  age 

Salute  anH  still  point  out  the  "  Good  Man's  Parsonage." 

Here  the  initial  letters  form  the  name  Grace  Joanna  Williams.  But  many 
fantastic   variations    have    been   introduced.      Sometimes   the   initials   read 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  ii 

upward  instead  of  downward  ;  sometimes  the  final  instead  of  the  first  letters, 
and  sometimes  both  the  final  and  the  first  letters,  form  an  acrostic.  The  latter 
is  known  as  a  double  acrostic,  or,  more  technically,  a  telestich.  An  ingenious 
improvement  requires  that  the  double  acrostic  shall  be  formed  of  two  words 
of  the  same  letters,  yet  of  opposite  meanings,  e.g. : 

U-nite  and  untie  are  the  same— so  say  yo-U  ; 
N-ot  in  wedlock,  I  ween,  has  the  unity  bee-N  ; 
I-n  the  drama  of  marriage,  each  wandering  gou-T 
T-o  a  new  face  would  fly — all  except  you  and  I, 
E-ach  seeking  to  alter  the  spell  in  their  scen-E. 

Here  is  a  bit  of  monastic  verse  of  curious  ingenuity.  Not  only  do  the  first 
tnd  the  final  letters,  but  the  middle  initials  also,  form  the  word  lesus.  In 
technical  words,  the  lines  are  at  once  acrostic,  mesostic,  and  telestic.  Nor  is 
that  all.  The  observant  reader  will  discern  that  in  the  centre  of  the  verse  is 
a  cross  formed  of  the  word  Jesus,  or  lesus,  read  perpendicularly  and  hori- 
zontally : 

Inter  cuncta  micans  I  gniti  sidera  ccell 

Expellit  tenebras  E  toto  Phoebus  ut  orbE 

Sic  csEcas  removet         JESUS  caliginis  umbraS 

Vivificansque  simul  V  ero  praecordia  motU 

Solem  justitiae  S  ese  probat  esse  beatiS 

Pee  has  devised  a  peculiarly  complicated  form  in  his 
Valentine. 

For  her  this  rhyme  is  penned,  whose  luminous  eyes. 

Brightly  expressive  as  the  twins  of  Leda, 

Shall  find  her  own  sweet  name,  that  nestling  lies 

Upon  the  page,  enwrapped  from  every  reader. 

Search  narrowly  the  lines  ! — they  hold  a  1 

Divine — a  talisman— an  amulet 

That  must  be  worn  at  heart.     Search  well  the  i 

The  words — the  syllables  !     Do  not  forget 

The  trivialest  point,  or  you  may  lose  your  labor  1 

And  yet  there  is  in  this  no  Gordian  knot 

Which  one  might  not  undo  without  a  sabre. 

If  one  could  merely  comprehend  the  plot. 

Enwritten  upon  the  leaf  where  now  are  peering 

Eyes  scintillating  soul,  there  lie  perdus 

Three  eloquent  words  oft  uttered  in  the  hearing 

Of  poets,  by  poets — as  the  name  is  a  poet's  too. 

Its  letters,  although  naturally  lying 

Like  the  knight  Pinto — Mendez  Ferdinando — 

Still  form  a  synonym  for  Truth. — Cease  trying  ! 

You  will  not  read  the  riddle,  though  you  do  the- best  you  can  do. 
To  translate  the  address,  read  the  first  letter  of  the  first  line  in  connection  with  the  second 
letter  of  the  second  line,  the  third  letter  of  the  third  line,  the  fourth  of  the  fourth,  and  so  on 
to  the  last  line.     The  name  Frances  Sargent  Osgood  will  then  be  formed. 

Although  acrostics  are  now  relegated  to  the  nursery,  they  were  anciently 
looked  upon  with  high  reverence.  A  rude  form  of  acrostic  may  even  be 
found  in  the  Scriptures, — e.g.,  in  twelve  of  the  psalms,  hence  called  the  abece- 
darian psalms, — the  most  notable  being  Psalm  cxix.  This  is  composed  of 
twenty-two  divisions  or  stanzas,  corresponding  to  the  twenty-two  letters  of 
the  Hebrew  alphabet.  Each  stanza  consists  of  eight  couplets.  The  first  line 
of  each  couplet  in  the  first  division  begins  with  aleph,  a,  the  first  line  of  each 
couplet  in  the  second  division  with  beth,  b,  and  so  on  to  the  end.  This  pecu- 
liarity is  not  retained  in  the  translation,  but  is  indicated  by  the  initial  letter 
prefixed  to  each  division.  The  Greeks  also  cultivated  the  acrostic,  as  may  be 
seen  in  the  specimens  that  survive  in  the  Greek  Anthology,  and  so  did  their 
intellectual  successors,  the  Latins.     Cicero,  in  his  "  De  Divinatione,"  tells  us 


12  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

that  "the  verses  of  the  Sibyls  are  distinguished  by  that  arrangement  which 
the  Greeks  call  acrostic  ;  where  from  the  first  letters  of  each  verse  in  order 
words  are  formed  which  express  some  particular  meaning  ;  as  is  the  case  with 
some  of  Ennius's  verses."  In  the  year  326,  Publius  Porphyrius  composed  a 
poem,  still  extant,  in  praise  of  Constantine,  the  lines  of  which  are  acrostics. 
The  early  French  poets,  from  the  time  of  Francis  I.  to  that  of  Louis  XIV., 
were  fond  of  this  trifling.  But  it  was  carried  to  its  most  wasteful  and  ridicu- 
lous excess  by  the  Elizabethan  poets.  Sir  John  Davies  has  a  series  of  no  less 
than  twenty-six  poems  under  the  general  heading  of  "  Hymns  to  Astraea," 
every  one  of  which  is  an  acrostic  on  the  words  Elisabetha  Regina.  Here  is  a 
single  specimen : 

Earth  now  is  green  and  heaven  is  blue; 

Lively  spring  which  makes  all  new, 

lolly  spring  doth  enter. 

Sweet  young  sunbeams  do  subdue 

Angry  aged  winter. 

Blasts  are  mild  and  seas  are  calm. 

Every  meadow  flows  with  balm. 

The  earth  wears  all  her  riches. 

Harmonious  birds  sing  such  a  psalm 

As  ear  and  heart  bewitches. 

Reserve  (sweet  spring)  this  nymph  of  ours. 

Eternal  garlands  of  thy  flowers. 

Green  garlands  never  wasting  ; 

In  her  shall  last  our  state's  fair  spring. 

Now  and  forever  flourishing. 

As  long  as  heaven  is  lasting. 

After  the  Elizabethan  age,  acrostics  soon  sank  into  disrepute.      Dryden 
scornfully  bids  the  hero  of  his  "  Macflecknoe" 


Some  peaceful  province  in 

And  Addison  gives  the  acrostic  a  high  place  among  his  examples  of  false  wit. 
A  fashion  that  is  not  quite  extinct  was  introduced  by  the  jewellers  of  the 
last  century,  who  placed  precious  stones  in  such  an  order  that  the  initials  of 
their  names  formed  the  name  of  the  recipient  of  the  gift.  Thus,  the  Princess  of 
Wales,  on  her  marriage,  presented  her  groom  with  a  ring  set  with  the  follow- 
ing gems : 

Beryl, 

Emerald, 

Ruby, 
•  Turquoise, 

Iris, 

Emerald. 

The  initials,  it  will  be  seen,  form  the  word  Bertie,  the  name  by  which  she 
prefers  to  call  her  spouse. 

Rachel,  the  French  actress,  when  at  the  height  of  her  popularity,  received 
from  her  admirers  a  diadem  with  the  following  stones,  whose  name-initials 
not  only  spell  her  own  name,  but  present  the  name-initials  of  her  most  famous 
characters : 

Ruby,  Roxana. 

Amethyst,  Amenaide. 

Carnelian,  Camille. 

Hematite,  Hermione. 

Emerald,  Emilie. 

Lapis-Lazuli,  Laodice. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  13 

One  development  of  the  acrostic  that  is  specially  vital  and  electric  consists 
in  reading  the  initial  letters  of  the  words  of  a  sentence  as  a  single  word,  or, 
conversely,  in  flashing  in  a  single  word  the  initials  of  a  whole  unuttered  sen- 
tence. Thus,  when  the  Italians  outside  of  the  Piedmontese  states  did  not  dare 
as  yet  openly  to  shout  for  Victor  Emmanuel  and  Italian  unity,  they  managed 
the  thing  neatly  and  thrillingly  by  the  short  cry  of  Viva  Verdi!  Why  the 
popular  composer  had  suddenly  become  so  ve>y  jjopular  that  all  Italy  should 
in  season  and  out  of  season  be  shouting  his  name  did  not  at  first  appear, 
except  to  those  who  knew  that  Verdi,  letter  for  letter,  stood  for  Vittorio 
Eraanuele  Re  d'ltalia.  Now,  this  at  least  was  an  acrostic  with  a  soul  in 
it.  Similarly  the  word  Nihil  was  by  the  Anti-Bonapartists  made  to  typify  the 
Napoleon  dynasty  of  kings  in  the  following  strangely  prophetic  acrostic  : 

N-apoleon,  the  Emperor, 

J-oseph,  King  of  Spain, 

H-ieronymus  [Jerome],  King  of  Westphalia, 

I-oachim,  King  of  Naples, 

L-ouis,  King  of  Holland. 

Another  acrostic  whose  augury  was  justified  by  future  events,  in  a  pleasanter 
manner,  however,  than  was  anticipated,  is  mentioned  by  Bacon.  "  The  trivial 
prophecy,"  he  says,  "  which  I  heard  when  I  was  a  child,  and  Queen  Elizabeth 
in  the  flower  of  her  years,  was, — 

When  Hempe  is  spun, 
England's  done  ; 

whereby  it  was  generally  conceived  that  after  the  sovereigns  had  reigned, 
which  had  the  letters  of  that  word  Hempe  (which  were  Henry,  Edward,  Mary, 
Philip,  Elizabeth),  England  should  come  to  utter  confusion  ;  which,  thanks  be 
to  God,  is  verified  in  the  change  of  the  name,  for  that  the  king's  style  is  now 
no  more  of  England,  but  of  Britain."  The  most  noteworthy  of  this  species 
of  acrostic,  however,  is  the  Greek  word  'ixQvi,fish, — formed  from  the  initials  of 
the  sentence,  Vrioavq  XpianK  Qeoii  Yiog  2wt%*,  Jesus  Christ,  the  Son  of  God,  the 
Saviour, — which  was  used  as  a  veiled  symbol  for  Christ.  The  figure  of  a  fish 
is  frequently  found  carved  on  the  monuments  of  the  Roman  catacombs  to 
mark  without  revealing  the  burial-place  of  a  Christian. 

Act  of  Parliament,  an  English  slang  term  for  small  beer,  now  almost 
obsolete.  The  allusion  is  to  the  fact  that  publicans  were  by  act  of  Parliament 
forced  to  supply  billeted  soldiers,  gratis,  with  five  pints  of  small  beer  daily. 

There  is  a  story  current  among  the  Chelsea  veterans  that  the  Duke  of  Wellington  saw  a 
soldier  warming  his  weak  regulation  beer.  The  duke  said,  "  Damn  the  belly  that  won't  warm 
Act  of  Parliament ! "  The  soldier  replied,  "  Damn  the  Act  of  Parliament !  it  won't  warm  the 
belly." — Bark&rb  and  Leland  :  Dictionary  of  Siting. 

Action,  action,  action!  In  his  "  Lives  of  the  Ten  Orators,"  Plutarch 
tells  how  Demosthenes  when  asked  what  made  the  perfect  orator  responded, 
"  Action  !"  And  the  second  thing  ?  "  Action  !"  And  the  third  thing  ?  "  Action  !" 
The  saying  has  often  been  imitated.  The  Marshal  de  Trivulce,  to  the  query 
of  Louis  XI.  as  to  what  he  needed  to  make  war,  promptly  replied,  "Three 
things  :  money,  more  money,  always  money"  ("  Trois  choses  :  de  I'argent, 
encore  de  I'argent,  et  toujours  de  I'argent").  Fifty  years  later  the  Imperialist 
General  von  Schussendi  said  precisely  the  same  thing :  "  Sind  dreierlei  Dinge 
notig :  Geld,  Geld,  Geld."  Danton  rang  another  change  upon  the  phrase  in 
August,  1792,  in  a  speech  made  before  the  National  Assembly  at  the  very 
moment  when  a  discharge  of  cannon  announced  that  the  Reign  of  Terror  had 
been  inaugurated  and  the  slaughter  of  royalist  prisoners  had  begun.  "The 
cannon  which  you  hear,"  he  cried  to  his  dismayed  auditors,  "is  not  the  signal 


14  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

of  alarm  :  it  is  the  pas  de  charge  upon  our  enemies.  To  conquer  them,  to 
crush  them,  what  is  necessary?  Boldness,  more  boldness,  and  always  bold- 
ness, and  France  is  saved"  ("De  I'audace,  et  encore  de  I'audace,  et  toujours 
de  I'audace,  et  la  France  est  sauvee").  Had  Danton  read  Spenser  as  well  as 
Plutarch  ?     In  the  "  Faerie  Queene"  (iii.  1 1,  54)  are  the  following  lines  : 

And  as  she  lookt  about  she  did  behold 

How  over  that  same  dore  was  Hkewise  writ 
Be  bolde,  be  bolde,  and  everj'where  Be  bold. 

St.-Just,  who  succeeded  Danton  in  the  Reign  of  Terror,  put  a  similar  sen- 
timent in  less  epigrammatic  form  when  he  exclaimed  in  the  Convention, 
"  Dare  !  that  is  the  whole  secret  of  revolutions."  Gambetta,  however,  marked 
the  difference  between  the  present  republic  and  its  predecessor  by  the  follow- 
ing paraphrase  :  "  Work,  more  work,  and  always  work  !"  ("  Du  travail,  encore 
du  travail,  et  toujours  du  travail !") — Speech  at  Ijanquet  to  General  Hoche, 
June  24,  1872.     See  also  Agitate,  agitate,  agi iate. 

Actions  speak  louder  than  words.  An  old  saw,  found  in  one  form  or 
another  in  all  languages.  Thus,  the  French  say,  "  From  saying  to  doing  is  a 
long  stretch,"  and  "  Great  boasters,  small  doers ;"  the  Italians,  "  Deeds  are 
male,  words  are  female"  ("  Fatti  maschi,  parole  femine")  ;  the  Danes,  "  Big 
words  seldom  go  with  big  deeds ;"  the  Spaniards,  "  Words  will  not  do  for 
my  aunt,  for  she  does  not  trust  even  deeds,"  and  "  A  long  tongue  betokens  a 
short  hand  ;"  while  our  own  proverb  is  varied  by  the  alternatives,  "  Words  show 
the  wit  of  a  man,  but  actions  his  meaning  ;"  "  Saying  and  not  doing  is  cheap  ;" 
and  the  Scotch,  "  Saying  gangs  cheap."  In  another  sense  the  saw  may  be  taken 
as  an  answer  to  the  question  of  the  relative  value  to  the  world  of  the  man  of 
thought  and  the  man  of  action  ;  a  question  which  Walton  states  thus  in  his 
"  Angler,"  Part  I.  ch.  i.  :  "  In  ancient  times  a  debate  hath  risen,  .  .  .  whether 
the  happiness  of  man  in  this  world  doth  consist  more  in  contemplation  or 
action."  He  instances  on  the  one  hand  the  opinion  of  "many  cloisteral  men 
of  great  learning  and  devotion,"  who  prefer  contemplation  before  action, 
because  they  hold  that  "God  enjoys  himself  only  by  a  contemplation  of  his 
own  infiniteness,  eternity,  power,  and  goodness,  and  the  like,"  and  on  the  other, 
the  opinions  of  men  of  equal  "authority  and  credit"  who  say  that  "action  is 
doctrinal,  and  teaches  both  art  and  virtue,  and  is  a  maintainer  of  human 
society  ;  and  for  these  and  other  like  reasons,  to  be  preferred  before  contem- 
plation." But  he  decides  that  the  question  remains  yet  unresolved.  In  the 
present  day  the  weight  of  authority  is  undoubtedly  on  the  side  of  action,  even 
the  authority  represented  by  the  men  of  thought.     Kingsley's  fine  line, 

Do  noble  things,  not  dream  them  all  day  long, 
finds  an  echo  in  Emerson,  "  An  action  is  the  perfection  and  publication  of 
thought"  {Natu>e)\  in  Lowell,  "Everyman  feels  instinctively  that  all  the 
beautiful  sentiments  in  the  world  weigh  less  than  a  single  lovely  action" 
(Rousseati  imd  the  Sentimentalists)  ;  in  Beecher,  "  Action  is  the  right  outlet  of 
emotion"  {Prmerbs  frovi  Plymouth  Pulpit)  ;  in  Jules  Simon,  "  In  the  eyes 
of  God  there  is  not  a  prayer  which  is  worth  a  good  action  ;"  and  in  numer- 
ous sayings  of  Goethe  and  Carlyle.  The  other  side  of  the  question  may  be 
summed  up  in  Owen  Meredith's  phrase,  "Thought  alone  is  immortal"  {Lucile), 
and  is  prettily  and  poetically  presented  in  Kerner's  stanzas,  "Two  Graves," 
— the  first  grave  being  that  of  a  warrior,  who  sleeps  forgotten  and  unrecorded, 
the  second  that  of  a  poet,  whose  songs  still  float  in  the  breezes  above  him. 
And  this  in  turn  recalls  the  famous  saying  of  Themistocles,  who  being  asked 
whether  the  historian  were  not  greater  than  the  hero,  because  without  the 
historian  the  hero  would  be  forgotten,  Yankee-like  turned  on  his  questioner 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  15 

with  another  question  :  "  Which  would  you  rather  be,  one  of  the  combatants 
in  the  public  games,  or  the  herald  who  announces  them  ?" 

Ad  eundem  (L.,  "to  the  same  degree"),  an  English  and  American  uni- 
versity phrase.  A  graduate  of  one  university  is  permitted  to  enjoy  the  same 
degree  at  another,  and  is  said  to  be  admitted  ad  eundem  (g7-adiitn  understood) 
at  the  sister  university.  A  coach  that  used  to  run  between  Oxford  and  Cam- 
bridge was  facetiously  known  to  the  undergraduates  at  both  universities  as  the 
ad  eundem  coach. 

Adam.     There  is  an  old  English  proverbial  expression, — 
When  Adam  delved  and  Eve  span, 
•  Who  was  then  the  gentleman  ? 

The  couplet  is  memorable  in  English  history.  In  Wat  Tyler's  insurrection 
during  the  reign  of  Richard  II.,  John  Ball  addressed  the  mob  on  Blackheath 
from  this  text.  Evidently  it  was  a  familiar  proverb  then.  In  English  litera- 
ture its  earliest  recorded  appearance  is  in  a  poem  by  Richard  Rolle  de  Ham- 
pole  (Early  English  Text  Society  Reprints,  No.  26,  p.  79) : 

When  Adam  dalfe  and  Eue  spane. 

So  spire  if  thou  may  spede, 
Whare  was  then  the  pride  of  man 

That  now  merres  his  meed? 


The  couplet  is  also  known  in  Germany.  Tradition  asserts  that  it  was  writ- 
ten up  in  a  conspicuous  place  in  the  city  of  Nuremberg  both  in  Latin  and  in 
German  : 

Quo  nobills  turn  quispiam  loco  fuit 

Cum  fcederat  Adam  et  Eva  fila  duceret? 

Wo  was  da  der  Edelmann 

Da  Adam  hackt  und  Eva  span? 

Spener  :  Operis  Hera  did,  p.  150. 
(Frankfort,  1680.) 

Another  tradition  affirms  that  when  Maximilian,  presumably  the  first  of  the 
name,  was  prosecuting  researches  into  his  own  pedigree,  a  wag  posted  up  on. 
the  doors  of  the  palace  this  couplet,  which  is  identical  with  the  English : 
Da  Adam  hackt  und  Eva  spann, 
Wer  war  damais  der  Edelmann  ? 


Maximilian  promptly  retorted, — 

Ich  bin  ein  Mann  wie  ein  ander  Mann, 
Allein  dass  mir  Gott  der  Ehren  gan. 

"  I  am  a  man  like  any  other  man, 
Only  that  God  hath  given  honor  to  me." 

Ray,  in  his  collection  of  proverbs,  adds  a  second  couplet  which  contains  an 
answer  to  the  first, — i.e. 

Upstart  [upstarted]  a  churl  and  gathered  good. 
And  thence  did  spring  our  gentle  blood 

This  seems  to  be  an  after-thought  of  comparatively  recent  birth. 

Adam,  the  old.  The  unregenerate  part  of  man's  nature,  in  allusion  tc 
the  doctrine  of  original  sin.  This  phrase  is  used  in  the  English  Book  of 
Common  Prayer, — "  Grant  that  the  old  Adam  in  these  persons  may  be  so 
buried,  that  the  new  man  may  be  raised  up  in  them"  ^Baptism  of  those  of 
Riper  Years).     Shakespeare  says  of  Henry  V., — 

Consideration  like  an  angel  came 

And  whipped  the  offending  Adam  out  of  him. 

King  Henry  V.,   i.  X. 


1 6  HAND  Y-B  0  OK  OF 

Adam's  ale  or  ■wine,  a  humorous  colloquialism  for  water,  as  being  Adam's 
only  beverage  at  the  teetotal  period  when  he  flourished,  occurs  as  far  back  as 
Prynne's  "  Sovereign  Power  of  Parliament,"  ii.  32  :  "  They  have  been  shut  up 
in  prisons  and  dungeons,  allowed  only  a  poore  pittance  of  Adam's  ale,  and 
scarce  a  penny  bread  a  day  to  support  their  lives." 

Adam's  arms,  a  spade.  "  There  is  no  ancient  gentlemen  but  gardeners, 
ditchers,  and  grave-makers  :  They  hold  up  Adam's  profession.  He  was  the 
first  that  ever  bore  arms"  {Hamlet,  Act  v.,  Sc.  i).  The  term  is  recognized 
in  heraldry  and  also  in  the  popular  vocabulary.  The  sign  of  a  spade  is  much 
affected  in  England  by  market-gardeners. 

Adder,  Deaf  as  an,  a  proverb  common  to  most  modern  languages,  and 
arising  from  the  passage  in  Psalm  Iviii.  4,  where  the  wicked  are  compared  to 
"the  deaf  adder  that  stoppeth  her  ear:  which  will  not  hearken  to  the  voice 
of  charmers,  charming  never  so  wisely."  This  is  an  allusion  to  the  supersti- 
tion, prevalent  in  the  East  from  time  immemorial,  that  some  serpents  defy 
all  the  powers  of  the  charmer,  pressing  one  ear  into  the  dust,  while  they 
stop  the  other  with  the  tail.  Zoologically,  this  is  an  absurdity,  as  serpents 
have  no  external  ears.    Shakespeare  refers  to  the  superstition  in  Sonnet  cxii. : 

In  so  profound  abysm  I  throw  all  care 

Of  others'  voices,  that  my  adder's  sense 

To  critic  and  to  flatterer  stopped  are. 

Addition,  Division,  and  Silence.  In  1872,  William  H.  Kemble,  then 
State  Treasurer  of  Pennsylvania,  was  alleged  to  have  written  a  letter  of  in- 
struction for  G.  O.  Evans  to  T.  J.  Coffey,  of  Washington,  in  which  these 
words  occur  :  "  He  understands  addition,  division,  and  silence."  The  New 
York  Siin,  which  first  made  the  allegation  public  (March  15,  1872),  interpreted 
the  words  as  meaning  that  Evans  joined  all  the  arts  of  the  lobbyist  to  the 
kind  of  honor  that  is  proverbially  practised  even  by  thieves.  Kemble  brought 
a  libel  suit  against  the  Sun,  and,  though  he  asked  only  six  cents  damages,  the 
jury  failed  to  agree. 

Admiral  of  the  Blue  and  Admiral  of  the  Red  are  properly  naval 
terms,  the  former  being  applied  to  an  admiral  of  the  third  class,  who  holds  the 
rear  in  an  engagement,  the  latter  to  one  of  the  second  class,  who  holds  the 
centre.  In  English  slang  an  Admiral  of  the  Blue  is  a  public-house  keeper,  in 
allusion  to  the  blue  apron  which  is,  or  was,  his  usual  insignia,  while  Admiral 
of  the  Red  is  a  term  applied  to  such  of  his  customers  as  have  developed  a 
cheery,  rubicund  complexion,  especially  on  the  end  of  the  nose.  Admiral  of 
the  Red,  White,  and  Blue  is  a  term  similarly  applied  to  beadles,  hall-porters, 
and  other  functionaries  when  sporting  the  gorgeous  liveries  of  their  office. 

AduUam,  Cave  of.  John  Bright,  in  the  course  of  a  speech  directed 
against  Mr.  Horsman  and  other  Liberals  who  disapproved  of  the  Reform 
Bill  introduced  by  Earl  Russell's  administration  in  1866, — a  bill  that  contem- 
plated a  sweeping  reduction  of  the  elective  franchise, — said,  "  The  right  hon- 
orable gentleman  is  the  first  of  the  new  party  who  has  retired  into  what  may 
be  called  his  political  cave  of  Adullam."  The  reference  was  to  the  discon- 
tented and  distressed  who  gathered  around  David  in  the  cave  of  Adullam 
(/.  Samuel,  xxii.  i,  2).  The  retort  was  obvious,  and  was  instantly  made  by 
Lord  Elcho,  who  replied  that  the  band  in  the  cave  was  hourly  increasing,  and 
would  succeed  in  delivering  the  House  from  the  tyranny  of  Saul  (Mr.  Glad- 
stone) and  his  armor-bearer  (Mr.  Bright).  Adullamite  is  now  an  accepted 
term  for  a  member  of  any  small  clique  which  tries  to  obstruct  the  party  with 
which  they  habitually  associate,  and  has  some  affiliation  with  the  American 
"  mugwump." 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1 7 

Adversity.  The  poets  and  the  philosophers  are  fond  of  cheerful  moraliz- 
ings  on  the  advantages  of  adversity.  First  and  foremost,  Shakespeare's  lines 
spring  to  the  mind  : 

Sweet  are  the  uses  of  adversity, 

Which,  like  the  toad,  ugly  and  venomous. 

Wears  yet  a  precious  jewel  in  its  head. 

As  You  Like  It,  Act  ii..  So.  i. 

Carlyle  admits  that  "  adversity  is  sometimes  hard  upon  a  man,  but,"  he 
adds,  "for  one  man  who  can  stand  prosperity,  there  are  a  hundred  that  will 
stand  adversity"  {Heroes  and  Hero- Worship :  The  Hero  as  Man  of  Letters). 
Hazlitt  had  already  said  the  same  thing  in  his  "  Sketches  and  Essays." 
"Prosperity  is  a  great  teacher;  adversity  is  a  greater"  (C>«  the  Conversation 
of  Lords).  And  the  arch-plagiarist  Disraeli,  in  "  Endymion,"  ch.  Ixi.,  gives  us 
the  aphorism,  "  There  is  no  education  like  adversity."  "  Prosperity,"  says 
Bacon,  "is  the  blessing  of  the  Old  Testament;  adversity  is  the  blessing  of 
the  New;"  and  he  quotes  approvingly  from  Seneca  a  high  speech  after  the 
manlier  of  the  Stoics  :  "  The  good  things  that  belong  to  prosperity  are  to  be 
wished,  but  the  good  things  that  belong  to  adversity  are  to  be  admired" 
(Essays:  Of  Adversity).  Aristotle  found  in  education  "an  ornament  in  pros- 
perity and  a  refuge  in  adversity"  (Diogenes  Laertius  :  Lives  of  Famous 
Philosophers).  Butler,  in  "  Hudibras,"  finds  a  reason  for  contentment  in 
adversity  which  is  as  wise  as  it  is  witty  : 

I  am  not  now  in  Fortune's  power : 
He  that  is  down  can  fall  no  lower. 

Part  I.,  Canto  3. 

Longfellow  finds  a  refuge  in  patience  and  hope  : 

Let  us  be  patient :  these  severe  afflictions 

Not  from  the  ground  arise. 
But  oftentimes  celestial  benedictions 

Assume  this  dark  disguise. 

Resignation. 

And  Beaumont  and  Fletcher  bid  us  assume  that  sorrow  is  not  and  it  will 

not  be : 

Nothing  is  a  misery. 
Unless  our  weakness  apprehend  it  so  : 
We  cannot  be  more  faithful  to  ourselves. 
In  anything  that's  manly,  than  to  make 
111  fortune  as  contemptible  to  us 
As  it  makes  us  to  others. 

Honest  Man's  Fortune,  Act  i.,  Sc.  i. 

Advertising,  Quaint  and  Curious.  The  origin  of  advertising  dates 
back  to  the  birth  of  the  commercial  spirit,  when  human  beings  began  to  feel 
the  necessity  for  some  means  of  communicating  their  wants  and  the  busmess 
they  had  on  hand.  The  ancient  and  mediaeval  criers  (called  prcecones  m 
Rome)  who,  besides  their  public  duties,  announced  the  time,  the  place,  and  the 
conditions  of  sales,  the  hawkers  who  cried  their  own  goods,  the  libelli  of  the 
Romans  (announcing  the  sales  of  estates,  and  giving  public  notice  of  things 
lost  or  found,  of  absconding  debtors,  etc.),  and  the  hand-bill  or  poster,  which, 
after  the  invention  of  printing,  gradually  superseded  the  town  or  private  crier, 
—these  are  the  various  steps  in  the  evolution  of  the  modern  advertisement. 

The  first  printed  English  newspaper,  the  Certain  Newes  of  this  Present 
Week,  issued  in  London  in  1642,  contained  nothing  but  news.  Not  until  ten 
years  later,  in  the  Mercuriiis  Politicus  for  January,  1652,  do  we  meet  with  a 
well-authenticated  advertisement.  This  relates  to  a  panegyrical  poem  on 
Cromwell's  return  from  Ireland,  and  runs  as  follows  :  "  IrenodiaGratulatoria, 
an  Heroick  Poem ;  being  a  congratulatory  panegyrick  for  my  Lord  General  s 
b  2*  _^^ 

ff  UNIVERSITY  J 


1 8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

late  return,  summing  up  his  successes  in  an  exquisite  manner.  To  be  sold 
by  John  Holden,  in  the  New  Exchange,  London.  Printed  by  The.  Newcourt, 
1652." 

But  almost  a  century  previous,  on  the  continent  of  Europe,  newspapers 
and  newspaper  advertisements  had  been  foreshadowed  in  small  news  pam- 
phlets printed  at  irregular  intervals  in  Vienna  and  other  parts  of  Germany. 
The  oldest  newspaper  paragraph  approaching  the  modern  advertisement  that 
has  yet  been  resuscitated  was  found  in  one  of  these  early  news-books,  pre- 
served in  the  British  Museum.  The  book  is  dated  1591,  without  any  indica- 
tion as  to  the  place  of  issue.  The  advertisement  is  half  in  prose  and  half  in 
verse,  and,  like  its  English  successor  which  we  have  just  quoted,  is  the  puff 
of  a  new  publication. 

As  newspapers  grew  apace,  the  art  of  advertising  developed  with  them. 
In  May,  1657,  one  Newcombe  issued  a  weekly  newspaper.  The  Public  Adver- 
tiser, which  consisted  almost  wholly  of  advertisements  of  a  miscellaneous 
character.  Simultaneously  other  papers  increased  the  number  and  the  variety 
of  their  advertisements.  Announcements  of  books  still  held  a  prominent 
position  ;  quack  doctors  began  to  discover  the  value  of  puffery ;  tradesmen 
praised  their  wares  ;  coffee-houses  extolled  the  virtues  of  those  strange  new 
drinks,  "cophee"  itself,  chocolate,  and  that  "excellent  and  by  all  Physicians 
approved,  China  drink,  called  by  the  Chineans  tcha,  by  other  nations  tay,  alias 
tee."  But  the  major  part  of  the  advertisements  related  to  fairs  and  cock- 
fights, burglaries  and  highway  robberies,  the  departure  of  coaches  and  stages, 
and  to  what  would  now  be  classed  together  under  the  heading  of  "  Lost, 
Strayed,  or  Stolen."  The  number  of  runaway  apprentices,  servants,  and 
negro  boys  is  especially  noticeable  in  the  advertising  literature  of  the  seven- 
teenth century.  And  how  shall  we  account  for  the  extraordinary  homeliness 
of  the  rogues  and  rascals  of  that  period.?  Hardly  a  criminal  or  a  runaway 
but  is  described  as  "  ugly  as  sin."  They  have  ill-favored  countenances, 
smutty  complexions,  black,  rotten  teeth,  fiat  wry  noses,  a  hang-dog  expression  ; 
they  are  purblind,  or  deaf,  or  given  to  slabber  in  their  speech.  Our  modern 
tough  must  be  a  beauty  in  comparison  with  these  earlier  wrong-doers.  By 
the  eighteenth  century,  advertising  had  become  recognized  as  a  means  of 
communication,  not  only  for  the  conveniences  of  trade,  but  for  political  pur- 
poses, for  love-making,  for  fortune-hunting,  for  swindling,  and  for  all  the  other 
needs  and  desires  of  a  large  community.  By  the  commencement  of  the 
present  century  matters  were  very  nearly  as  we  find  them  now.  The  Lon- 
don Times  and  the  Morning  Post,  started  modestly  enough  in  the  last  quarter 
of  the  eighteenth  century,  were  beginning  to  make  themselves  felt  as  powers 
in  the  land.  As  they  grew  and  developed,  they  depended  more  and  more 
upon  the  revenues  from  their  advertising  columns.  Meanwhile,  the  benefits 
of  advertising  were  becoming  more  and  more  appreciated  by  tradesmen  and 
the  general  public. 

American  newspapers  profited  by  the  example  of  their  British  predecessors. 
The  first  newspaper  that  succeeded  in  establishing  itself  in  North  America 
was  the  Boston  News  Letter.  In  its  initial  number,  dated  Monday,  April  24, 
1704,  it  issued  a  bid  for  advertising  in  this  ungrammatical  form  :  "All  persons 
who  have  any  houses,  lands,  tenements,  farms,  ships,  vessels,  goods,  wares,  or 
merchandise,  etc.,  to  be  sold  or  let,  or  servants  run  away,  or  goods  stole 
or  lost,  may  have  the  same  inserted  at  the  reasonable  rate  of  twelve  pence 
to  five  shillings,  and  not  to  exceed."  The  first  American  daily  journal,  the 
Independent  Gazette  of  New  York,  in  its  second  year,  1788,  contained  as  many 
as  thirty-four  advertisements  in  a  single  issue.  From  that  time  on  the  growth 
of  advertising  in  America  has  been  even  more  stupendous  than  in  England. 
It  is  interesting  to  compare  the  advertising  of  the  past  with  that  of  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  19 

present.  The  mind  that  is  accustomed  to  read  between  the  lines  can  trace,  in 
their  various  changes  and  developments,  similar  changes  and  developments  in 
habits,  customs,  and  methods  of  thinking  ;  can  estimate  the  vast  augmenta- 
tion in  business  and  in  industrial  resources,  and  the  mighty  evolution  of  public 
and  private  enterprise.  Let  us  go  back  through  the  columns  of  the  news- 
paper press  for  the  last  two  centuries  or  so,  gleaning  those  curious  and  eccen- 
tric advertisements  which  illustrate  in  the  most  amusing  fashion  the  temper 
of  their  respective  periods  and  the  mutations  wrought  by  time. 

The  class  of  advertisements  now  known  as  personals  made  an  early  appear- 
ance in  newspaper  literature. 

But  there  are  a  candor,  a  simplicity,  and  a  naivete  in  the  earlier  specimens 
which  are  less  apparent  in  their  successors  of  the  present  day.  There  is  an 
opulence  of  phrase  also  which  would  indicate  equal  opulence  of  pocket,  were 
personals  charged  for  at  the  ruinous  rates  now  current. 

Leaving  out  the  question  of  expense,  a  jilted  suitor  of  to-day  would  hardly 
be  likely  to  vent  his  spleen  in  the  fashion  adopted  by  the  Londoner  who  in- 
serted this  notice  in  the  General  Advertiser : 

Whereas,  on  Sunday,  April  12,  1750,  there  was  seen  in  Cheapside,  between  the  hours  of 
four  and  five  in  the  afternoon,  a  young  gentleman,  dressed  in  a  light-colored  coat,  with  a  blue 
waistcoat,  trimmed  with  silver  lace,  along  with  a  young  lady  in  mourning,  going  toward  St. 
Martin's,  near  Aldersgate.  This  is,  therefore,  to  acquaint  the  said  gentleman  (as  a  friend)  to 
be  as  expeditious  as  possible  in  the  affair,  lest  otherwise  he  should  unhappily  meet  with  the 
same  disappointment,  at  last,  by  another  stepping  in  in  the  mean  time,  as  a  young  gentleman 
has  been  lately  served  by  the  aforesaid  young  lady,  who,  after  a  courtship  of  these  four  months 
past,  and  with  her  approbation,  and  in  the  most  public  manner  possible,  and  with  the  utmost 
honor  as  could  possibly  become  a  gentleman.     Take  this,  sir,  only  as  a  friendly  hint. 

Nor  would  the  modern  head  of  a  family  deem  that  it  comported  with  his 
dignity  to  express  hilarity  at  the  disappearance  of  his  wife  in  the  public  fashion 
adopted  by  this  advertiser  in  the  Essex  (Mass.)  Gazette  of  September  17,  1771  : 

Ran  away  from  Josiah  Woodbury,  Cooper,  his  House  Plague  for  7  long  years,  Masury 
Old  Moll,  alias  Trial  of  Vengeance.  He  that  lost  will  never  seek  her  ;  he  that  shall  keep  her, 
I  will  give  two  Bushels  of  Beans.  I  forewarn  all  Persons  in  Town  and  Country  from  trusting 
said  Trial  of  Vengeance.  I  have  hove  all  the  old  Shoes  I  can  find  for  Joy ;  and  all  my 
neighbors  rejoice  with  me.     A  good  Riddance  of  bad  Ware.     Amen. 

Josiah  Woodbury. 

Miss  Fisher  inserts  the  following  paragraph  in  the  Public  Advertiser  of. 
March  30,  1759 : 

To  err  is  a  blemish  entailed  upon  mortality ;  indiscretions  seldom  or  never  escape  from 
censure,  the  more  heavy  as  the  character  is  more  remarkable  ;  and  doubled,  nay,  trebled  by  the 
world  if  the  progress  of  that  character  is  marked  by  success ;  then  malice  shoots  agamst  it  all 
her  stings,  the  snakes  of  envy  are  let  loose  ;  to  the  humane  and  generous  heart  then  must  the 
injured  appeal,  and  certain  relief  will  be  found  in  impartial  honor.  Miss  Fisher  is  forced  to  sue 
to  that  jurisdiction  to  protect  her  from  the  baseness  of  little  scribblers  and  scurvy  malevo- 
lence ;  she  has  been  abused  in  public  papers,  exposed  in  print-shops,  and  to  wind  up  the 
whole,  some  wretches,  mean,  wretched,  and  venal,  would  impose  upon  the  public  by  danng  to 
publish  her  Memoirs.  She  hopes  to  prevent  the  success  of  their  endeavors  by  thus  publicly 
declaring  that  nothing  of  that  sort  has  the  slightest  foundation  in  truth. 

C.  Fisher. 

The  above  might  seem  to  the  hasty  thinker  curiously  characteristic  of  time 
and  place.  Yet  history  repeats  itself,  as  it  always  must.  There  is  atavism 
even  in  advertisements.  Characteristics  that  seem  to  belong  to  a  past  age 
will  recur  in  the  present.  Surely  the  Miss  Fisher  of  the  last  century  finds 
her  legitimate  successor,  her  modern  double,  in  the  Ellen  Rose  of  Stamford, 
Connecticut,  who  in  1890  inserted  the  following  advertisement  in  all  the 
newspapers  of  her  native  town  : 

To  MY  Scandalizing  Friends.— I  hope  you  do  not  call  yourselves  Christians,  for  you  are 
a  disgrace  to  the  Church.  You  know  nothing  about  me.  I  don't  care  for  your  lying  tongues ; 
1  wonder  that  they  don't  fall  out  of  your  mouths.     You  act  like  fence  cats  and  flying  serpenu. 


20  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

You  have  been  very  busy  about  me  for  the  last  nine  years  with  your  meddling ;  please  tell 
me  what  you  have  to  do  with  me.  You  dare  not  come  to  my  face  with  your  lies;  you  keep 
like  a  snake  in  the  grass.  See  if  you  can  keep  it  up  for  nine  years  longer.  I  know  that  I  can 
stand  it,  but  1  should  think  that  you  would  get  tired  of  playing  snake  all  the  time.  If  you  do 
not  like  my  opinion  of  you,  prove  yourselves  something  different,  you  scandalizing  imps ! 

Miss  Ellen  Rose. 

Matrimonial  advertisements  are  now  often  roughly  grouped  under  the  head  of 
"  Personals"  by  newspaper  managers  who  lack  the  nicer  perceptive  qualities. 
In  truth,  they  form  a  department  by  themselves.  They  have  a  hterature  of 
their  own.  In  recent  years  they  have  even  developed  journalistic  organs  of 
their  own. 

An  engaging  feature  of  these  would-be  husbands  and  wives  has  ever  been 
their  freedom  from  bashfulness  or  mauvaise  honte  in  the  proclamation  of  their 
own  charms.  They  are  almost  always  handsome,  or  beautiful,  or  distinguished- 
looking,  sweet-tempered  and  accomplished,  well  born,  well  mannered,  and 
well  educated.  They  are  often  wealthy,  or,  at  least,  in  possession  of  a  com- 
fortable income.  One  wonders  how  it  is  they  have  escaped  Hymen  so  long, 
and  still  more  why  they  are  obliged  to  seek  alien  means  of  courting  him. 

John  Houghton,  who  in  16S2  started  a  weekly  entitled  A  Collection  for  the 
Improvement  0/  Husbandry  and  Trade,  which  proved  one  of  the  chief  pro- 
moters of  early  advertising,  was  the  father  of  matrimonial  announcements. 
In  his  issue  of  July  19,  1695,  he  inserted  two  advertisements  of  wishful  bride- 
grooms. But  the  public  was  suspicious  of  the  innovation,  and  a  few  weeks 
later  the  editor  found  it  necessary  to  explain  that  the  "  proposals  for  matches" 
were  genuine,  promising,  moreover,  to  manage  all  necessary  negotiations 
"  with  the  utmost  secrecie  and  prudence."  After  that  he  seems  to  have  found 
custom.  Imitators  followed,  and  in  1775  a  marriage  bureau  was  even  started 
in  London,  but  it  came  to  grief  through  an  expose  of  its  very  questionable 
methods  in  the  Tmvn  and  Country  Magazine  of  the  next  year.  Nevertheless, 
matrimonial  advertisements  waxed  apace.  A  very  curious  one  appeared  in 
BelPs  Weekly  Messenger  of  May  28,  1797  : 

Matthew  Dawson,  in  Bothwell,  Cumberland,  intends  to  be  married  at  Holm  Church,  on 
the  Thursday  before  Whitsuntide  next,  whenever  that  may  happen,  and  to  return  to  Boihwell 
to  dine.  Mr.  Reid  gives  a  turkey  to  be  roasted  :  Ed  Clemenson  gives  a  fat  lamb  to  be 
roasted  ■  William  Elliot  gives  a  hen  to  be  roasted ;  Joseph  Gibson  gives  a  fat  calf  to  be 
roasted.  And  in  order  that  all  this  roast  meat  may  be  well  basted,  do  you  see,  Mary  Pearson 
Betty  Hodgson,  Mary  Bushley,  Molly  Fisher,  Sarah  Briscoe,  and  Betty  Portbouse,  give  each 
of  them  a  pound  of  butter.  The  advertiser  will  provide  everything  else  for  so  festive  an  occa- 
sion And  he  hereby  gives  notice  to  all  young  women  desirous  of  changing  their  condition 
that  he  is  at  present  disengaged  ;  and  advises  them  to  consider  that  although  there  be '"ck  m 
leisure,  yet  in  this  case  delays  are  dangerous  ;  for,  with  him,  it  is  determined  it  shall  be  first 
come  first  served. 

So  come  along,  lasses  who  wish  to  be  mamed  ; 
Max  Dawson'is  vexed  that  so  long  he  has  tarried. 

In  December,  1890,  the  New  York  Herald  printed  this  last  wild  appeal  of  a 
seeker  after  the  ideal : 

Humph,  what  mad  folly  !  I  can't  find  her  thus  :  experius  loquor.  Yet  with  the  dying 
year  this  final  effort.  Dear  tribe  of  unorthographical  writers  on  untidy  paper,  spare  for  once 
him  who  not  being  an  elderiy  gentleman  of  means,  neither  could  suit  you  if  he  would,  nor 
would  if  he  could.  A  tired  Athenian  seeking  something  new.  Epicurean  in  the  true,  not  base 
sense,  far  travelled,  much  but  ill  read,  incorrigible  truth-teller;  Ithaca  bores,  the  puffing  .sail 
delights  me.  Caprice  ?  Thou  my  complement,  many-mooded  as  the  sea  or  t  lanmonde 
dainty  high-bred,  restful,  joyous,  delight  to  mind,  pleasure  to  eye,  child  of  earth,  born  of 
spirit  liberated  from  primeval  curse,  and  in  assurance  of  daily  truffles  without  toil  free  to  be 
thyself,  where  art  thou  ?     Alas,  in  Spain  only,  I  fear,  ou  sont  mes  chateaux. 

^       '  Theophile,  Herald  Office. 

Far  more  sensible  was  the  following  advertiser  in  the  London  Times: 
A  young  gentleman  on  the  point  of  being  married,  is  desirous  of  meeting  a  man  of  expe- 
rience who  will  dissuade  him  from  such  a  step.     Address,  etc. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  2X 

Even  the  "  Wants"  column  has  its  amasmg  features.  Here  is  a  very  credit- 
able specimen  from  the  London  Times  of  the  year  1850 : 

Do  YOU  Want  a  Servant?  Necessity  prompts  the  question.  The  advertiser  oppkks 
his  SERVICES  to  any  lady  or  gentleman,  company,  or  others,  in  want  of  a  truly  f.iithful  con- 
fidential servant  in  any  capacity,  not  menial,  where  a  practical  knowledge  ol  human  nature 
in  various  parts  of  the  world  would  be  available.  Could  undertake  any  affair,  of  small  or 
great  importance,  where  talent,  inviolable  secrecy,  or  good  address  would  be  necessary  Has 
moved  in  the  best  and  worst  societies,  without  being  contaminated  by  either ;  has  never  been 
a  servant;  begs  to  recommend  himself  as  one  who  knows  his  place;  is  nioral,  temperate 
middle-aged  ;  no  objection  to  any  part  of  the  world.  Could  advise  any  capitalist  wishing  to 
increase  his  income  and  have  the  control  of  his  own  money.  Could  act  as  secretary  or  iralet 
to  any  lady  or  gentleman.  Can  give  advice,  or  hold  his  tongue,  sing,  dance,  play  fence 
box,  preach  a  sermon,  tell  a  stor>',  be  grave  or  gay,  ridiculous  or  sublime,  or  do  anything' 
from  the  curling  of  a  peruke  to  the  storming  of  a  citadel — but  never  to  excel  his  master! 
Address,  etc. 

Does  the  reader  note  the  nice  condescension  of  this  paragon  in  engaging 
never  to  excel  his  master  ?  He  will  keep  his  multiform  accomplishments  in 
check,  so  as  not  to  overshadow  his  employer. 

Here  are  a  few  more  "  Wants"  from  various  portions  of  the  globe  that  tell 
their  own  story  and  tell  it  joyously  and  well : 

From  the  Clevedon  (Eng.)  Mercury: 

Wanted — A  really  plain  but  experienced  and  efficient  governess  for  three  girls,  eldest  16. 
Music,  French,  and  German  required.     Brilliancy  of  conversation,  fascination  of  manner,  and 
symmetry  of  form  objected  to,  as  the  father  is  much   at  home  and  there  are  grown-up  sons. 
'  Address  Mater,  Post-Office,  Clevedon. 

From  the  Edinburgh  Scotsman: 

Servant — Wanted,  by  a  family  living  in  an  Edinburgh  flat,  a  general  servant,  who  will 
kindly  superintend  her  mistress  in  cooking  and  washing,  nursing  the  baby,  etc. '  She  will 
have  every  Sunday  and  two  nights  out  in  each  week,  and  the  use  of  the  drawing-room  for 
the  reception  of  her  friends.     Address  A.  F.,  Scotsman  Office. 

From  the  Paris  Figaro: 

Wanted— A  professor  to  come  twice  a  week  to  the  house  of  a  noble  family  in  order  to 
reform  the  pronunciation  of  a  parrot. 

The  ingenuous  reader  may  have  imagined  that  prize-fighting  and  boxing 
were  the  especial  privileges  of  the  stronger  half  of  humanity.  A  glance  at 
the  advertising  columns  of  the  eighteenth-century  papers  will  convince  him 
of  his  mistake.  The  following  is  by  no  means  a  solitary  instance.  It  ap- 
peared in  the  Daily  Post  ol  July  17,  1728,  in  the  form  of  a  challenge  and 
answer : 

Whereas  I,  Ann  Field,  of  Stoke-Newington,  ass-driver,  well  known  for  my  abilities  in  box- 
ing in  my  own  defence  wherever  it  happened  in  my  way,  having  been  affronted  by  Mrs. 
Stokes,  styled  the  European  Championess,  do  fairly  invite  her  to  a  trial  of  the  best  skill  in 
boxing,  for  ten  pounds,  fair  rise  and  fall  ;  and  question  not  but  to  give  her  such  proofs  of  my 
judgment  that  shall  oblige  her  to  acknowledge  me  Championess  of  the  Stage,  to  the  entire 
satisfaction  of  all  my  friends. 

I,  Elizabeth  Stokes,  of  the  city  of  London,  have  not  fought  in  this  way  since  I  fought  the 
famous  boxing  woman  of  Billingsgate  twenty-nine  minutes,  and  gained  a  complete  victory 
(which  is  six  years  ago) ;  but  as  the  famous  Stoke-Newington  ass-woman  dares  me  to  fight  her 
for  the  ten  pounds,  I  do  assure  her  I  will  not  fail  meeting  her  for  the  said  sum,  and  doubt  not 
that  the  blows  which  I  shall  present  her  with  will  be  more  difficult  for  her  to  digest  than  she 
ever  gave  her  asses. 

But  it  seems  to  have  been  discovered  that  even  these  degraded  creatures 
had  not  lost  all  the  characteristics  of  their  sex.  Some  challenges  provide 
that  each  woman  shall  hold  half  a  crown  in  each  hand,  "  the  first  woman  that 
drops  the  money  to  lose  the  battle."  Evidently  the  feminine  temptation  to 
use  the  nails  instead  of  the  fists  had  to  be  provided  against. 


2  2  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  Newcastle  Courant  of  January  4,  1770,  contained  this  notice,  which 
could  not  have  failed  to  excite  curiosity  : 

This  is  to  acquaint  the  public,  that  on  Monday  the  first  instant,  being  the  Lodge  (or 
monthly  meeting)  Night  of  the  Free  and  Accepted  Masons  oi  the  22d  Regiment  held  at  the 
Crown,  near  Newgate  (Newcastle),  Mrs.  Bell,  the  landlady  of  the  house,  broke  open  a  door 
(with  a  poker)  that  had  not  been  open  for  some  time  past ;  by  which  means  she  got  mto  an 
adjacent  room,  made  two  holes  through  the  wall,  and,  by  that  stratagem,  discovered  the 
secrets  of  Freemasonry ;  and  she,  knowing  herself  to  be  the  first  woman  m  the  world  that  ever 
found  out  the  secret,  is  willing  to  make  it  known  to  all  her  sex.  So  any  lady  who  is  desirous 
of  learning  the  secrets  of  Freemasonry,  by  applying  to  that  well-learned  woman  (Mrs.  Bell, 
that  lived  fifteen  years  in  and  about  Newgate)  may  be  instructed  in  the  secrets  of  Masonry. 


Our  advertising  ancestors  frequently  broke  into  verse.  Here  is  a  fair  sam- 
ple from  the  Salem  (Mass.)  Register  of  September  6,  1801,  in  which  poetry 
and  prose,  remonstrance  and  business,  are  quaintly  intermixed  : 

The  following  lines  were  written  in  the  shop  of  the  subscriber  by  a  son  of  St.  Crispin, 
viewing  with  contempt  the  tyrannical  and  oppressive  disposition  of  a  man  who  has  threat- 
ened vengeance  on  his  neighbor's  business  because  the  article  he  deals  in  is  Shoes  : 
Salem,  9th  Mo.  6th,  1801. 

Oh  Shame  !  that  Man  a  Dog  should  imitate. 
And  only  live,  his  fellow  Man  to  hate. 
An  envious  Dog  once  in  a  manger  lay, 
And  starved  himself  to  keep  an  Ox  from  hay. 
Altho'  thereof  he  could  not  eat. 
Yet  if  the  Ox  was  starved  to  him  'twas  sweet 
His  neighbor's  comfort  thus  for  to  annoy, 
Altho'  thereby  he  did  his  own  desiroy. 
O  Man,  such  actions  from  the  page  erase. 
And  from  thy  breast  malicious  envy  chase. 
Twenty  per  cent,  was  struck  oflf  at  one  clip,  from  those  kind  of  shoes  which  are  mostly 
worn.     It  is  fifteen  months  since  the  Shoe  War  commenced. 

J.  Mansfield,  3rd. 

But  it  is  tradesmen,  quacks,  theatrical  managers,  etc.,  people,  in  short, 
who  wish  to  attract  the  public  attention  to  their  own  pecuniary  profit,— it  is 
this  portion  of  the  race  who  have  developed  advertising,  especially  in  the 
latter  half  of  the  present  century,  into  an  art  that  taxes  all  the  creative  facul- 
ties of  the  human  mind.  Their  forerunners  of  past  ages  trusted  merely  to 
the  resources  of  a  gorgeous  vocabulary.  They  used  up  all  the  laudatory 
adjectives  in  the  language,  and  there  was  an  end  on  't.  Their  successors  of 
to-day  know  better.  They  understand  such  appeals  are  made  only  to  the  eye 
and  are  immediately  forgotten.  It  is  necessary  to  arrest  attention,  to  startle, 
to  pique  curiosity,  to  do  something  odd,  bizarre,  outre,  extravagant, — to  be 
sensational  above  evervthing.  SucU  methods  set  people  to  wondering, 
thinking,  and  talking.  The  earliest  appeals  of  this  sort  were  made  in  the 
comparatively  conventional  direction  of  literature  and  art.  Wit,  poetry,  and 
wood-engraving  were  called  into  play.  At  first  it  was  very  poor  wit,  poor 
poetry,  poor  wood-engraving.  When  the  novelty  wore  off  it  ceased  to  attract 
attention.  Then  advertisers  began  to  turn  themselves  into  Maecenases.  They 
patronized  the  skilful  pen  and  the  cunning  pencil.  The  world  would  be 
astonished  if  it  knew  how  many  men  now  famous  have  written  puffs  for 
tradesmen.  And  two  men,  one  in  England  and  another  in  America,  have  won 
fame  for  themselves  in  the  exclusive  service  of  the  advertiser.  The  first  was 
George  Robins,  the  English  auctioneer,  whose  advertisements  of  estates  for 
sale  were,  half  a  century  ago,  conned  and  studied  with  as  much  gusto  as  the 
latest  poem  or  romance.  His  description  of  that  terrestrial  paradise  whose 
only  drawback  was  "the  litter  of  the  rose-leaves  and  the  noise  of  the  night- 
ingales" has  become  a  classic.  The  second  is  Mr.  Powers,  formerly  of  Wana- 
maker's  Bazaar,  in  Philadelphia.  He  had  a  facility  of  phrase,  a  virile  simplicity 
of  style,  a  directness  and  an  ingenuous  candor,  that  indicated  literary  abilities 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  23 

of  a  high  order.  When  he  wrote  them,  Wanamaker's  advertisements  won  a 
national  reputation.  Many  people  turned  to  them  first  when  they  took  up 
the  morning  papers,  sure  of  finding  something  fresh  and  interesting  even  if 
they  had  no  desire  to  purchase. 

As  to  art,  Cruikshank  was  the  first  well-known  man  to  lend  his  pencil  to 
the  advertiser.  His  capital  sketch,  made  for  a  blacking-establishment,  of  the 
cat  seeing  herself  reflected  and  spitting  at  the  boot,  is  still  in  use  after  half  a 
century's  service.  A  London  soap-firm  recently  purchased  the  right  of  re- 
producing one  of  John  Rogers's  most  famous  little  groups.  And  you  have 
but  to  turn  to  the  pages  of  any  modern  periodical  to  recognize  what  excellent 
work,  mostly  unsigned  and  unacknowledged,  but  betraying  the  well-known 
characteristics  of  eminent  artists,  is  done  for  advertising  purposes.  Famous 
works  of  art,  also,  have  been  pressed  into  the  same  service  in  an  indirect  way. 
Hotels  and  bar-rooms  attract  custom  by  hanging  on  their  walls  the  authentic 
works  of  great  masters,  old  and  new.  Cigarette-dealers  and  others  reproduce 
uncopyrighted  masterpieces  in  miniature  form,  and  give  them  away  with  their 
wares. 

But  as  the  spirit  of  journalism  has  invaded  literature  and  art,  so  it  has 
invaded  the  advertising  business.  The  sensational  methods  of  editors  and 
reporters  have  been  aped  by  the  advertisers  in  near-by  columns.  Who  does 
not  remember  the  thrilling  "reading  notices,"  once  so  popular,  which,  after 
holding  you  breathless  with  the  account  of  an  accident,  a  love-story,  a  tale  of 
adventure,  finally  landed  you  into  a  box  of  pills  or  a  bottle  of  castor  oil  ? 
Then  there  was  the  enigmatical  notice,  not  yet  extinct,  which  arrested  atten- 
tion and  kept  you  in  wondering  suspense,  until  such  time  as  the  advertiser 
deemed  ripe  to  spring  the  explanation, — the  notice  which  cried,  "  In  the  name 
of  the  Prophet,"  and  waited  until  you  had  pricked  up  your  ears  before  it 
added,  "Figs."  An  early  example  of  this  occurred  in  London  some  thirty 
years  ago.  One  morning  the  good  people  woke  up  to  find  the  interrogation 
"  Who's  Blank  V  staring  them  everywhere  in  the  face, — in  the  newspapers,  on 
the  walls  and  hoardings  of  the  town,  even  ;)n  the  pavements.  As  day  after 
day  passed,  the  reiterated  query  set  everybody  to  thinking.  "Who  indeed  is 
Blank  ?"  So  everybody  asked,  but  nobody  knew.  Presently  the  words  "  Fire  ! 
Fire  !  Thieves  !  Thieves  !"  following  the  query,  deepened  the  mystery.  At 
last  the  secret  was  out  when  the  enterprising  owner  of  a  newly-patented  safe 
added  his  name  to  the  announcement. 

The  mysterious  statement,  in  large  letters,  "  724  More,"  which  simulta- 
neously invaded  the  American  press  all  over  the  country,  carried  wonder  and 
even  uneasiness  to  many  an  American  household.  One  can  imagine  the  whole 
family  puzzling  their  brains  over  it  for  days.  Finally,  one  morning.  Young 
Hopeful  bursts  out  breathlessly,  "  Pop  !  I  know  what  724  More  is  !"  "  What 
is  it  ?"  cries  every  one,  expectantly.  "  Pancakes  !"  And  then  it  comes  out 
that  724  more  pancakes  can  be  made  out  of  Puff's  Baking  Powder  than  out 
of  any  other. 

Tricks  of  the  type  are  a  lower  form  of  art,  and  have  now  lost  much  of  their 
efficacy.  It  is  only  the  uninventive  mind  that  seeks  to  attract  attention  by 
italics,  capitals,  exclamation  marks,  and  the  use  of  strange  and  uncouth  letters. 
Even  the  familiar  trick  of  setting  up  announcements  in  diagonal  form,  or 
of  inverting  the  letters,  palls  upon  a  sated  public.  There  is  still  great  virtue, 
however,  in  large  capitals  and  the  force  of  iteration.  If  day  in  and  day  out 
the  public  have  the  name  of  any  article  pressed  conspicuously  upon  their 
attention,  that  name  is  unconsciously  fixed  in  the  mind  like  a  household  word. 
And  the  effect  is  more  certain  if  the  name  appears  in  some  unlooked-for  spot 
and  in  an  unfamiliar  environment.  The  knowledge  of  these  facts  has  led 
advertisers  to  drop  their  lines  in  other  places  besides  the  daily  papers. 


24  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

And  so  it  came  around  that  bill-posters  stuck  up  flaring  advertisements  on 
walls,  on  fences,  on  bill-boards,  that  the  interiors  of  cars  and  omnibuses  were 
decorated  with  signs,  that  pavements  were  stencilled  with  trade  notices,  that 
peripatetic  artists  swarmed  over  the  country  painting  the  names  of  quack 
medicines  on  the  palings  of  fences,  the  sides  of  houses  and  barns,  on  rocks, 
trees,  and  river-banks. 

Bill-posting  was  first  used  in  connection  with  the  drama.  The  very  name 
indicates  this.  As  far  back  as  1579,  John  Northbrooke,  in  his  treatise  against 
theatrical  performances,  says,  "They  use  to  set  up  their  bills  upon  posts, 
some  certam  days  before,  to  admonish  people  to  make  resort  to  their  thea- 
tres." Later,  notices  of  houses  to  rent,  of  sales,  auction,  etc.,  were  posted. 
Then  followed  all  manner  of  advertisements.  But  not  until  twoscore  years 
ago  was  bill-posting  systematized  into  a  business.  Anciently  the  best  bill- 
poster was  the  mighty  man  of  brass  and  muscle,  who,  knowing  nothing  of  law 
or  license,  tore  down  his  rival's  placard  and  set  up  his  own  in  its  stead.  Some- 
times the  rival  would  show  fight.  Sometimes  the  owner  of  the  property 
would  object  to  its  desecration,  and  serve  an  injunction  on  the  bill-poster.  Un- 
daunted, however,  the  latter  would  lease  out  his  contract  to  another  man,  who 
would  stick  up  his  bills  before  the  court  could  issue  a  new  injunction.  At  last 
the  system  of  leasing  space  sprang  up.  The  owner  leased  his  space  to  the 
bill-sticker,  who  could  enforce  the  right  as  against  his  rival.  This  system 
dates  from  1876.  It  has  led  to  the  establishment  of  large  firms,  many  of  whom 
control  space  throughout  the  entire  Union,  and  can,  at  a  moment's  bidding, 
proclaim  the  merits  of  a  soap  or  a  patent  medicine  throughout  the  land. 

Worst  of  all,  the  bill-poster  has  amalgamated  with  the  peripatetic  artist 
of  the  brush.  When  the  latter  first  sprang  into  being,  he  was  a  distinct 
individuality  and  a  most  offensive  one.  Nothing  in  nature  was  too  sacred  for 
him, — indeed,  the  more  sacred,  the  greater  the  advertisement.  The  most 
magnificent  scenery  was  profaned.  The  sign-painter  often  had  to  stand  up  to 
his  neck  in  water,  or  climb  apparently  inaccessible  peaks,  to  reach  the  most 
striking  locality  for  his  "  ad."  He  was  hooted  by  the  newspapers,  and  shot 
at  by  enraged  worshippers  of  the  beautiful.  But  no  danger,  no  difficulty, 
daunted  him. 

The  most  remarkable  of  these  early  pioneers  was  the  owner  of  a  certain 
Plantation  Bitters.  He  devised  an  enigmatic  inscription,  "  S.  T.  i860.  X.," 
which  shortly  appeared  in  every  newspaper  and  on  every  available  fence, 
rock,  tree,  bill-board,  or  barn  throughout  the  country,  on  wagons,  railroad- 
cars,  ships,  and  steamers.  One  da)r  all  the  exposed  rocks  in  the  Niagara 
rapids  bloomed  out  with  the  mystic  sign.  Forest-trees  along  the  lines  of  the 
Pennsylvania  Railroad  were  hewn  down  to  afford  the  passengers  a  glimpse 
of  the  same  announcement  emblazoned  in  letters  four  hundred  feet  high  on 
the  mountain-side.  Then  the  manufacturer's  agents  went  abroad.  Cheops' 
pyramid  was  not  too  sacred  for  him,  nor  the  place  on  Mount  Ararat  where  the 
Ark  is  said  to  have  landed.  He  even  announced  that  he  would  discover  the 
North  Pole  for  the  express  purpose  of  decorating  it  with  the  cabalistic  words. 
And  what  did  the  words  mean?  Many  puzzled  their  heads  over  them  in 
vain.  Not  until  the  proprietor  had  retired  with  a  fortune  did  he  reveal  the 
secret.     "  S.  T.   i860.  X."  meant,  "Started  trade  in  i860  with  $10." 

But  we  have  not  yet  exhausted  all  the  arts  of  the  advertiser.  Something 
should  be  said  about  the  sad-eyed  sandwich-man,  braced  between  two  bill- 
boards and  set  adrift  in  the  crowded  streets  ;  something  also  of  the  various 
perambulatory  advertisements  which  have  been  gradually  evolved  from  this 
simple  germ :  of  the  negro  gentleman  exquisitely  arrayed,  save  only  for  a 
huge  standing  collar,  on  which  is  printed  the  name  of  the  firm  that  employs 
him ;  of  the  army  of  tall  men,  all  over  six  feet  six  inches  in  height,  whom  a 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  25 

manufacturer  of  rubber  goods  clad  in  long  rubber  coats,  bearing  his  name 
and  trade-mark,  and  then  cast  out  on  the  higlnvays  and  by-ways  of  the  metrop- 
olis ;  of  the  countless  numbers  of  men  and  boys  bedecked  in  fantastic  cos- 
tumes and  placed  in  the  streets  to  distribute  circulars. 

A  quarter  of  a  century  ago,  a  London  manager  invented  a  new  advertising 
scheme  which  has  been  the  fruitful  parent  of  many  similar  devices.  A  drama 
called  "  The  Dead  Heart"  was  being  played  at  his  theatre.  He  ordered  ten 
hundred  thousand  hearts  to  be  printed  in  red,  inscribed  with  the  words  Dead 
Heart,  and  had  them  posted  everywhere,  upon  the  pavements,  upon  the  walls, 
upon  the  trees  in  the  parks,  upon  the  seats,  and  even  upon  the  backs  of 
revellers  who  were  returning  home  in  a  convivial  but  oblivious  mood. 
Twenty  years  later,  one  of  his  imitators  devised  a  still  more  startling  scheme. 
He  was  manager  of  the  melodrama  "The  Mystery  of  a  Hansom  Cab." 
Hiring  a  number  of  hansoms,  he  placed  in  each  the  dummy  figure  of  a  man 
in  a  dress  suit,  with  blood-bespattered  shirt,  and  had  them  driven  through  the 
principal  streets.  He  succeeded  even  better  than  he  had  expected.  The 
ghastly  spectacle  became  the  talk  of  all  London.  The  newspapers  denounced 
it  as  an  atrocity.  It  was  said  that  nervous  people  had  fainted,  that  children  had 
screamed,  and  that  ladies  had  gone  oif  in  hysterics.  Finally,  the  authorities 
gave  the  lucky  manager  an  additional  "ad."  by  ordering  the  hansoms  back  to 
the  stables  under  pain  of  arrest. 

Over  in  Vienna,  a  theatrical  manager  advertised  for  five  thousand  cats. 
The  strange  announcement  attracted  general  attention.  At  the  appointed  day 
and  hour  the  entrance  to  the  theatre  was  blocked  by  a  vast  crowd  of  men, 
women,  and  children  with  bags,  baskets,  or  coat-pockets  stuffed  with  cats. 
The  manager  bought  them  all,  fixed  labels  around  their  necks  announcing 
the  first  performance  of  a  grand  pantomime  in  the  following  week,  then 
turned  them  loose,  and  let  them  scamper  off  in  all  directions.  Of  course  the 
manager  did  not  depend  merely  on  the  labels.  He  knew  that  the  novelty  of 
the  scheme  would  set  press  and  public  to  talking,  and  he  was  right  in  his 
calculations. 

A  story  has  recently  gone  the  rounds  of  the  press  which  is  quite  good 
enough  to  be  true.  A  poor  clergyman  wishing  to  buy  hymn-books  for  his 
congregation  at  the  lowest  possible  price,  a  London  firm  offered  to  supply 
him  gratuitously  with  a  line  of  books  containing  certain  advertisements.  The 
minister  complied,  thinking  to  himself  that,  when  the  books  arrived,  the  ad- 
vertisements could  be  removed,  but,  to  his  joy  and  surprise,  he  found  no  inter- 
leaved advertisements.  On  the  first  Sunday  after  the  new  books  had  been 
distributed,  the  congregation  found  themselves  singing, — 

Hark  !   the  herald  angels  sing, 
Beecham's  Pills  are  just  the  thing; 
Peace  on  earth  and  mercy  mild. 
Two  for  man  and  one  for  child." 

Advice.  An  axiom  of  proverbial  as  well  as  of  written  philosophy  is 
summed  up  in  this  phrase  of  Hazlitt's  :  "  Our  friends  are  generally  ready 
to  do  everything  for  us  except  the  very  thing  we  wish  them  to  do.  There  is 
one  thing  in  particular  they  are  always  disposed  to  give  us,  and  which  we  are 
as  unwilling  to  take,  namely,  advice."  [Charactenstics,  No.  88.)  Johnson  offers 
an  excellent  reason  both  for  the  willingness  on  one  side  and  the  unwillingness 
on  the  other  :  "  Advice,  as  it  always  gives  a  temporary  appearance  of  superi- 
oritj',  can  never  be  very  grateful,  even  when  it  is  most  necessary  or  most 
judicious."  (Rambler,  No.  87.)  If  this  be  true,  then  it  evidently  follows,  to 
quote  his  own  words  again  from  a  letter  to  Mrs.  Piozzi,  "  The  advice  that  is 
wanted  is  generally  unwelcome,  and  that  which  is  not  wanted  is  generally  im- 
pertinent."    Horace  Smith,  therefore,  suggests  quite  the  right  attitude  towards 


26  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

advice,  and  especially  good  advice  :  "  Good  advice  is  one  of  those  injuries 
which  a  good  man  ought,  if  possible,  to  forgive,  but  at  all  events  to  forget  at 
once."  (The  Tin  Trtmipet:  Advice.)  The  ingenuous  few  that  occasionally 
seem  to  seek  advice  really  want  something  else:  "We  ask  advice,  but  we 
mean  approbation."  (Colton  :  Lacon.)  Yet  Benjamin  Franklin  has  so  little 
worldly  wisdom  as  to  say  in  his  "  Poor  Richard's  Almanac,"  "They  that  will 
not  be  counselled  will  not  be  helped."  To  be  sure,  he  adds  almost  in  the 
same  breath,  "  We  may  give  advice,  but  we  cannot  give  conduct," — a  thought, 
by  the  way,  which  he  stole  from  La  Rochefoucauld  :  "  We  give  advice,  but  we 
cannot  give  the  wisdom  to  profit  by  it."  Saadi,  in  the  "  Gulistan,"  makes  a 
sage  remark  when  he  says,  "  He  who  gives  advice  to  a  self-conceited  man 
stands  himself  in  need  of  counsel  from  another."  (ch.  viii.,  Rules  for  Conduct  in 
Life.)  But  he  fails  to  recognize  that  all  men  in  this  sense  are  self-conceited. 
Vet,  on  the  other  hand,  if  Bailey  be  right,  self-conceit  should  inclme  them  to 
hearken  :  "  The  worst  men  often  give  the  best  advice."  {Festus.  sc.  A  Village 
Feast.)  In  the  face  of  all  this  human  unwillingness,  however,  Alphonso  the 
Wise  of  Castile  was  bold  enough  to  say,  "  Had  I  been  present  at  the  Crea- 
tion, I  would  have  given  some  useful  hints  for  the  better  ordering  of  the 
universe." 

A.  E.  I.  O.  U.  These  five  vowels  were  stamped  by  Frederick  IH.  of  Ger- 
many upon  coins  and  medals,  and  inscribed  upon  public  buildings.  They  had 
originally  been  used  at  the  coronation  of  his  predecessor,  Albert  II.,  then 
standing  for  Albertus  Electus  Imperator  Optimus  Vivat.  At  his  own  coro- 
nation at  Aix-la-Chapelle  in  1440,  Frederick  retained  the  initials,  with  this 
altered  meaning,  Archidux  Electus  Imperator  Optime  Vivat.  It  became  a 
favorite  pastime  for  learned  and  ingenious  men  to  fit  new  readings  to  the 
motto.  Frederick  himself,  in  a  manuscript  referred  to  by  the  librarian  of 
Leopold  I.,  quoted  a  flattering  German  version,  Aller  Ehren  1st  Oesterreich 
Voll,  ("Austria  is  crowned  with  all  honor,")  but  it  is  recorded  that  he  had 
to  remove  an  equally  unflattering  inscription  in  the  Burg,  Aller  Erst  1st 
Oesterreich  Verdorben. 

Rasch,  organist  of  the  Schottencloster,  discovered  no  less  than  two  hundred 
possible  readings,  which  he  gave  to  the  world  about  1580.  Three  of  these  are 
especially  famous  :  Austria  Erit  In  Orbe  Ultima,  "Austria  will  be  the  last  in 
the  world,"  and  Austriae  Est  Imperare  Orbi  Universo,  and  Alles  Erdreich  1st 
Oesterreich  Unterthan,  the  last  being  a  free  translation  into  German  of  the 
Latin  of  the  second.  The  initial  ingenuity  of  both  is  retained  in  the  English 
equivalent :  Austria's  Empire  Is  Over  all  Universal. 

Affinity.  A  term  made  famous  by  American  Free-Lovers,  meaning  a  per- 
son of  the  opposite  sex  who  is  in  such  perfect  harmony,  mentally,  spiritually, 
and  i)hysically,  with  one's  self,  that  a  higher  law— a  law  above  all  mere  human 
codes  a'nd  conventions,  and,  therefore,  above  the  seventh  commandment,  which 
was  numbered  among  human  ordinances— urged  these  twain  to  become  one 
fle'^h.  A  complete  lite  or  destiny  could  be  fulfilled,  not  by  a  single  individual, 
but  by  a  couple.  Each  must  have  its  affinity.  The  greater  duty  of  life  was 
to  discover  this  alter  ego.  It  will  be  seen  that  this  necessitated  numerous  ex- 
periments on  the  wav.  The  Free-Lovers  were  largely  influenced  by  Goethe's 
"  Elective  Affinities,"  in  which  human  beings  are  likened  to  chemical  sub- 
stances that  repel  or  attract  one  another  by  eternal  laws.  Only  Goethe  hesi- 
tates to  say  explicitly  that  this  chemical  force  thrust  upon  man  by  the  demoniac 
powers  releases  him  from  personal  responsibility.  The  Free-Lovers  not  only 
explicitly  stated  this,  not  only  asserted  that  man  was  excusable,  but  went  fur- 
ther, and  taught  that  it  was  his  sacred  duty  to  break  through  the  traditional 
code  and  satisfy  his  higher  self.     The  sect  became  prominent  in   1850,  and 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  27 

established  several  communities,  the  most  famous  being  at  Oneida,  New  York. 
They  were  a  constant  target  for  the  humorists.  Artemus  Ward  has  an  excel- 
lent hit  of  fooling  on  the  community  at  Berlin  Heights,  Ohio,  lie  describes 
how  he  set  up  his  great  moral  show  in  the  neighborhood,  and  how  the  Free- 
Lovers  came  flocking  round  the  doors,  among  them  "  a  perfeckly  orful-lookin' 
female,"  whose  "gownd  was  skanderlusly  short  and  her  trowsis  was  shameful 
to  behold." 

The  exsentric  female  clutched  me  frantically  by  the  arm  and  hoUerd  : 

"  You  air  mine,  O  you  air  mine  !" 

"  Scarcely,"  I  sed,  endeverin  to  git  loose  from  her.     But  she  clung  to  me  and  sed : 

"  You  air  my  Affinerty  !" 

"  What  upon  arth  is  that?"  I  shouted. 

"  Dost  thou  not  know?" 

"  No,  I  dostent !" 

"  Listen,  man,  &  I'll  tell  ye  \"  sed  the  strange  female  :  "  for  years  I  hav  yearned  for  thee. 
I  knowd  thou  wast  in  the  world,  sumwhares,  tho  I  didn't  know  whare.  My  hart  sed  he 
would  cum  and  I  took  courage.  He  has  cum— he's  here — you  air  him — you  air  my  Affinerty. 
O  'tis  too  mutch,  too  mutch  !"  and  she  sobbed  agin. 

"  Yes,"  I  anseied,  "  I  think  it  is  a  darn  site  too  mutch  !" 

"  Hast  thou  not  yearned  for  me?'  she  yelled,  ringin'  her  hands  like  a  female  play-actor. 

"  Not  a  yearn  !"  I  bellered  at  the  top  of  my  voice,  throwin'  her  away  from  me. — Artemus 
Ward,  His  Book:  Among  the  Free-Lovers. 

Agatdocles'  Pot.  Agathocles,  the  celebrated  tyrant  of  Syracuse,  was 
originally  a  potter  :  in  his  greatness  he  always  affected  extreme  humility, 
having  an  earthen  pot  placed  beside  him  at  table  to  remind  him  of  his 
origin. 

A  poor  relation  is  the  most  irrelevant  thing  in  nature,  a  piece  of  impertinent  correspondency, 
...  a  death's-head  at  your  banquet,  Agathocles'  pot,  a  Mordecai  in  your  gate,  a  Lazarus  at 
your  door,  a  lion  in  your  path,  .  .  .  the  ounce  of  sour  in  a  pound  of  sweet. — Lamb's  Elia : 
Poor  Relations. 

Agitate,  agitate,  agitate!  This  advice,  which  seems  a  reminiscence  of 
Demosthenes's  "Action,  action,  action  !"  (q.  v.),  was  given  to  the  Irish  people 
by  the  Marquis  of  Anglesea  when  Lord  Lieutenant  of  Ireland  under  the  Duke 
of  Wel.lington.  O'Connell  caught  up  the  phrase  and  followed  the  advice  it 
inculcated.  Hence  he  was  known  as  "  the  Irish  Agitator."  But  Parnell  deemed 
that  a  better  watchword  was  "Organize,  organize,  organize  !" 

Agnostic  (Gr.  a  privative,  and  yvuoToq,  knowing,  knaiun,  knowable).  One 
who  believes  that  the  finite  mind  can  comprehend  only  the  finite  world,  and 
that  God  and  the  infinite  and  the  causes  that  underlie  appearances  are  neces- 
sarily unknown  and  unknowable.  According  to  a  letter  from  R.  H.  Hutton, 
quoted  in  the  New  English  Dictionary,  sub  voce,  the  word  was  "suggested  by 
Prof.  Huxley  at  a  party  held  previous  to  the  formation  of  the  now  defunct 
Metaphysical  Society,  at  Mr.  James  Knowles's  house  on  Clapham  Common, 
one  evening  in  1869,  in  my  hearing.  He  took  it  from  St.  Paul's  mention  of 
the  altar  to  'the  Unknown  God.'" 

Since  this  letter  appeared  in  print.  Prof.  Huxley  has  himself  given  us  the 
history  of  the  word,  in  the  Nineteenth  Ceiitury  for  February,  1889.  "  When 
I  reached  intellectual  maturity  and  began  to  ask  myself  whether  I  was  an 
atheist,  a  theist,  or  a  pantheist,  a  materialist  or  an  idealist,  a  Christian  or  a 
free-thinker,  I  found  that  the  more  I  learned  and  reflected,  the  less  ready 
was  the  answer,  until  at  last  I  came  to  the  conclusion  that  I  had  neither  art 
nor  part  with  any  of  these  denominations  except  the  last.  The  one  thing  in 
which  most  of  these  good  people  agreed  was  the  one  thing  in  which  I  differed 
from  them.  They  were  quite  sure  they  had  attained  a  certain  'gno.sis,'  had 
more  or  less  successfully  solved  the  problem  of  existence  ;  while  I  was  quite 
sure  I  had  not,  and  had  a  pretty  strong  conviction  that  the  problem  was 
insoluble.  .  .  .  This  was  my  situation  when  I  had  the  good  fortune  to  find  a 


28  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

place  among  the  members  of  that  remarkable  confraternity  of  antagonists, 
long  since  deceased,  but  of  green  and  pious  memory,  the  Metaphysical  Society. 
Every  variety  of  philosophical  and  theological  opinion  was  represented  there, 
and  expressed  itself  with  entire  openness  ;  most  of  my  colleagues  were  ists  of 
one  sort  or  another  ;  and,  however  kind  and  friendly  they  might  be,  1,  the  man 
without  a  rag  of  a  label  to  cover  himself  with,  could  not  fail  to  have  some  of 
the  uneasy  feelings  which  must  have  beset  the  historical  fox  when,  after  leaving 
the  trap  in  which  his  tail  remained,  he  piesented  himself  to  his  normally 
elongated  companions.  So  I  took  thought,  and  invented  what  I  conceived  to 
be  the  appropriate  title  of  'agnostic'  It  came  into  my  head  as  suggestively 
antithetic  to  the  'Gnostic'  of  Church  history  who  professed  to  know  so  much 
about  the  very  things  of  which  I  was  ignorant,  and  I  took  the  earliest  oppor- 
tunity of  parading  it  at  our  society,  to  show  that  I,  too,  had  a  tail  like  the 
other  fo.xes.  To  my  great  satisfact'ion,  the  term  took  ;  and  when  the  Spectator 
had  stood  godfather  to  it,  any  suspicion  in  the  minds  of  respectable  people 
that  a  knowledge  of  its  parentage  might  have  awakened  was,  of  course,  com- 
pletely lulled."  (Reprinted  in  Christianity  and  Apiosticistn :  a  Controversy. 
New  York,  1S89.) 

Agony.  To  pile  on  the  agony,  originally  an  Americanism,  is  now  a 
common  locution  on  both  sides  of  the  Atlantic,  meaning  to  use  harrowing 
details  for  the  purpose  of  intensifying  a  narrative  or  a  statement.  So  far  back 
as  1857,  Charlotte  Bronte  writes  in  a  letter,  "  What  climax  there  is  does  not 
come  on  till  near  the  conclusion  ;  and  even  then  I  doubt  whether  the  regular 
novel-reader  will  consider  the  '  agony  piled  sufficiently  high' (as  the  Ameri- 
cans say)  or  the  colors  dashed  on  to  the  canvas  with  the  proper  amount  of 
daring."   (Gaskell  :  Life  of  C/iarlotte  Bronte,  ch.  xxv.) 

Agony  Column.  The  name  familiarly  given  to  the  second  column  of  the 
first  page  of  the  London  Times,  containing  advertisements  similar  to  those 
which  in  American  papers  are  grouped  under  the  head  of  Personals.  But 
they  often  exhibit  a  frantic  exuberance  of  capitals,  exclamation-marks,  and 
interjections,  and  make  lurid  exhibitions  of  private  and  personal  matters 
which  are  well-nigh  unknown  to  the  advertising  columns  of  cis-Atlantic  jour- 
nals. Sometimes  they  are  written  in  cipher,  or  some  mutually-agreed-on 
arrangement  of  words,  and  many  a  line  that  reads  like  the  purest  gibberish 
carries  sorrow  or  gladness  to  the  eye  that  reads  the  secret.  Yet  even  ciphers 
have  been  found  dangerous.  There  are  everywhere  certain  ingenious  busy- 
bodies  (i.e.,  bodies  who  have  nothing  to  busy  themselves  with)  that  make  a 
study  of  this  column,  and,  finding  a  key  to  the  cipher  in  which  a  clandestine 
correspondence  is  carried  on,  insert  a  marplot  advertisement, — sometimes  for 
the  mere  fun  of  the  thing,  sometimes  to  stop  an  intrigue  that  is  nearly  ripe  for 
execution.  The  agony  column  itself  is  evidence  of  this.  For  you  often  find 
the  real  agents  in  a  correspondence  notifying  each  other  that  such  and  such  an 
advertisement  was  not  inserted  by  authority.    (See  Cipher.) 

A  large  number  of  the  advertisements  relate  to  prodigal  sons  and  truant 
husbands.  Now,  you  and  I  have  never  run  away  and  hid  from  our  families ; 
probably  no  one  in  our  set  of  acquaintances  ever  has.  Yet  the  fact  remains 
that  there  is  a  certain  jiercentage  of  the  human  race  to  whom  the  temptation 
to  run  away  is  irresistible.  By  a  more  or  less  happy  dispensation,  they  seem 
to  be  blessed  with  relatives  of  exceptional  clemency,  who,  instead  of  leaving 
them  alone  like  Bopeep's  sheep,  implore  them  through  the  Times  and  other 
papers  to  come  home  to  a  steaming  banquet  of  veal.  They  frequently  wind  up 
by  promising  the  fugitive  that  everything  will  be  arranged  to  his  satisfaction, — 
which  surely  ought  to  prove  a  tempting  bait,  for  to  have  everything  arranged 
to  one's  satisfaction  is  a  condition  rarely  realized.     Of  course  the  promise  is 


LITERARY  CC/R/OSI7I£^s^0fc'  29 


vague.  It  is  therefore  encouraging  to  run  across  an  advertisement  that  deals 
with  particulars  and  not  with  glittering  generalities, — e.g.,  as  when  on  October 
2,  1S51,  a  fugitive  who  is  spoken  of  as  "The  Minstrel  Boy"  (probably  in  a 
fine  vein  of  sarcasm,  for  among  the  items  of  personal  description  appears 
"no  ear  for  music")  is  thus  addressed:  "  Pray  return  to  your  disconsolate 
friends.     All  will  be  forgiven,  and  Charlie  will  give  up  the  front  room." 

Another  favorite  way  of  luring  the  victim  back  is  to  threaten  that  all  sorts 
of  calamities  will  visit  the  family  he  has  left  behind.  Thus,  P.  P.  P.  is  im- 
plored for  mercy's  sake  to  write  again  :  "  If  not,  your  wretched  father  will  be 
a  maniac,  and  your  poor  unhappy  mother  will  die  broken-hearted."  Here  is 
a  still  more  pathetic  appeal,  ludicrous,  however,  in  the  very  midst  of  its  pathos  : 
"To  A  ...  .  If  humanity  has  not  entirely  flown  from  your  breast,  return, 
oh,  return,  ere  it  is  too  late,  to  the  heart-broken,  distracted  wife  you  have 
forsaken, — ere  the  expression  of  those  soft  eyes  that  won  you  be  lost  in  the 
bewildered  stare  of  insanity, — ere  they  may  gaze  even  on  you  and  know  you 
not  ;  write,  tell  her,  oh  !  tell  her  where  you  are,  that  she  may  follow  you — her 
own,  her  all — and  die.  See  her  once  more."  Here  is  an  example  that  shifts 
with  strange  abruptness  from  entreaty  to  threats :  "  I  entreat  you  to  keep  to 
your  word,  or  it  may  be  fatal.  Laws  were  made  to  bind  the  villains  of  society." 
The  neat  laconicism  of  the  following  has  even  more  merit : 

Philip.     Would  Philip  like  to  hear  of  his  Mother's  Death? 

A  sad  little  history  is  summed  up  in  the  following  advertisements,  the  last 
two  being,  of  course,  an  answer  to  the  first : 

July  15,  18,  22,  and  25,  1850. 

The  One-Winged  Dove  must  die  unless  the  Crank  returns  to  be  a  shield  against  her 
enemies. 

November  23,  1850. 

Somerset,  S.  B.  The  Mate  of  the  Dove  must  take  wing  forever  unless  a  material  change 
takes  place.     J.  B. 

November  26,  1850. 

The  Mate  of  the  Dove  bids  a  final  Farewell.  Adieu  to  the  British  Isles,  although  such 
a  resolution  cannot  be  accomplished  without  poignant  grief.     W. 

Undoubtedly  there  is  a  romance  also  behind  these  three  advertisements, 
which  followed  one  another  at  considerable  intervals ;  but  the  reader  will 
have  to  build  one  up  to  suit  himself: 

March  24,  1849. 

No  Doormat  To-Night. 

March  28,  1S50. 

Doormat  and  Beans  To-Night. 

May  28,  1851. 

Doormat  To-Night. 

Was  this  a  love-message  ?  Was  Doormat  the  agreed-upon  symbol  for  a 
grim  Paterfamilias,  a  jealous  husband  ?  Did  the  mice,  anxious  for  play,  ac- 
quaint each  other  in  this  fashion  that  the  cat  was  or  was  not  away?  And 
what  connection  did  Doormat  have  with  Beans  ?  Idle,  idle  questions  !  As 
well  ask  "what  songs  the  Sirens  sang,  or  what  name  Achilles  assumed  when 
he  hid  himself  among  women." 

.\  curious  advertisement,  that  tells  its  own  story,  appears  on  May  21,  183S. 
The  advertiser,  who  gives  his  real  name  and  address,  states  that  some  years 
previous  he  had  saved  the  life  of  an  English  nobleman  by  rescumg  him  from 
drowning,  but  that  he  withdrew  himself,  "not  to  receive  the  unbounded  thanks 
and  generous  reward  ot"  an  English  gentleman."  Now,  however,  he  intimates 
that  a  correspondence  with  the  family  might  be  pleasing  to  them  and  a  source 


30  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

of  happiness  to  himself.  Of  course  this  ingenious  gentleman  wanted  love 
and  money, — that  is  to  say,  he  wanted  money  pressed  on  him  with  many 
expressions  of  gratitude.  Very  likely  he  deserved  it.  Certainly  his  way  of 
asking  for  it  was  very  pretty.  What  could  be  more  happy  than  the  hint  about 
the  generous  reward  t 

But  the  most  extraordinary  series  of  advertisements  that  ever  appeared  in 
any  paper,  a  series  extending  over  a  period  of  fifteen  years  and  hinting  at  all 
sorts  of  mystery,  romance,  crime,  and  even  madness,  was  contributed  mainly 
by  a  gentleman  whose  real  name,  E.  J.  Wilson,  is  occasionally  signed,  while 
more  frequently  he  masquerades  under  the  initials  E.  W.  or  E.  J.  W.,  or 
under  pseudonymes  that  would  be  bafHing  but  for  the  unerring  evidence  of 
style.  That  he  was  a  man  who  had  suffered  a  good  deal,  and  that  his  sorrows 
had  unhinged  his  reason,  is  apparent  enough,  for  the  advertisements  are 
couched  in  precisely  the  language  which  seems  impressive  to  people  of  de- 
ranged minds.  Moreover,  he  has  an  insane  belief  in  his  own  virtues,  impor- 
tance, and  abilities.  "I  claim  to  rank  with  Cobden,  Bright,  and  Rowland 
Hill,"  he  says  in  one  place,  and  elsewhere  he  asserts  that  he  is  the  author  of 
"the  decimal  system  at  Her  Majesty's  Customs  which  pours  pure  gold  every 
day  into  the  coffers  of  the  nation."  How  far,  therefore,  his  sorrows  are  the 
result  of  hallucination  it  is  not  possible  to  say.  Nor  is  it  possible  to  make  a 
perfectly  consistent  and  coherent  whole  out  of  the  staccato  story  of  his  wrongs 
as  revealed  in  these  advertisements.  But  the  main  outlines  seem  to  be  that 
he  was  a  man  of  fortune  with  an  important  position  in  the  British  Customs 
Office,  that  he  married  a  Hebrew  lady,  that  his  family  and  friends  quarrelled 
with  him,  apparently  over  some  smuggling  scheme  of  which  he  disapproved 
and  in  whose  spoils  he  refused  to  participate,  that  his  wife  and  his  infant 
daughter  were  spirited  away  from  him  (he  seems  to  hint  that  the  wife  eloped 
with  a  lover,  but  this  she  indignantly  denies),  and  that  he  spent  a  large  portion 
of  his  life,  and  lost  fortune,  place,  and  jjosition,  in  the  effort  to  regain  the 
daughter.  So  much  being  premised,  a  few  selections  here  and  there  from  the 
voluminous  communications  of  Mr.  Wilson  and  the  rare  answers  of  his  wife 
may  be  found  interesting, — may  pique  curiosity,  at  least,  if  not  satisfy  it. 

Here  is  almost  the  first  of  the  series : 

Honest,  honest  Alexis  !  What  a  strange  coincidence  !  Remove  the  last  syllable,  and 
there  was  once  a  great  man,  one  of  trie  self-constituted  sacred  race,  known  by  that  cognomen, 
whom  I — for  which,  of  course,  I  shall  never  be  forgiven — transformed — as  1  intend  to  serve 
many  more — into  a  city  spectre.  Honest,  honest  Alexis!  May  that  never  be  your  fate. 
Candour  would  then  indeed  be  wronged.  E.  W. 

To  this  frantic  expostulation  Alexis  (very  naturally)  answers,  "  What  are 
you  alluding  to?  Send  your  address.  Do  it  immediately.  I  was  much 
disappointed  at  not  receiving  it  on  Saturday,  and  have  been  in  the  greatest 
agony  ever  since.  You  are  freely  forgiven  ;  extend  your  mercy  to  Alexis." 
E.  W.  seems  to  have  preferred  continuing  the  correspondence  through  the 
colunms  of  the  Times.  On  March  19  he  explains  that  he  was  alluding  to 
"  the  customs,"  and  adds,  "  You  will  only  deceive  the  superficial  fools  of  the 
nation." 

Alexis  evidently  gets  very  wroth,  and  four  days  later  inserts  the  following: 

E.  W.,  author  of  anonymous  correspondence,  look  at  home.  Conscience  does  not  accuse 
me  of  even  attempting  to  deceive.  You  have,  however,  been  playing  the  game  of  deception 
several  years,  until,  judging  from  your  exasperated  feeling,  you  are  at  last  tired  that  your 
bait  has  not  taken.  Have  you  a  conscience?  This  is  doubted  by  some,  whilst  others  think 
you  have,  but  that  it  dwells  far  beneath  its  usual  seat.     Alexis  bids  you  farewell. 

Alexis  is  evidently  the  wife.  Apparently  she  flees  to  Norway  or  Sweden, 
for  a  month  or  two  later  we  find  an  impassioned  appeal  "to  the  pearl  of  the 
great  eastern  sea,  the  blue-eyed  maid  of  Israel,  who  keeps  watch  near  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  31 

fmpassable  gate  of  dreary  Scandinavia  :  You  cost  one  great  man  his  place,  and 
will  also  cost  a  great  many  more  their  place."  Does  Mr.  Wilson  refer  to 
himself  as  the  great  man  .?  Not  unlikely.  In  January  his  wife,  who  now 
appears  to  be  in  Hammersmith,  England,  conjures  him  to  call  on  her.  "A 
wilful  error,"  she  says,  "is  maintained  against  justice  and  truth  to  oiipose  my 
right.  Wiiy  not  come  immediately.'"  But,  instead  of  going,  E.  J.  W.  simply 
inserts  the  word  Silence!  in  the  Agony  column  for  January  15,  which  leads 
to  the  following  interchange  of  mysteries  : 

January  18,  1853. 
Silence,  where  ? 

January  19,  1853. 
Where  ?     Has  my  vision  been  fulfilled,  or  does  vice  prevail  ?     That   is    the  question 
E.  J.  W. 

Same  date,  lower  down. 
Silence,  where?     Why!  "  Silence  in  the  Metropolis  !"  Silence  on  the  railway  is  good, 
but  "  Silence  in  the  Metropolis"  is  excessively  better! 

Possibly  there  is  a  veiled  allusion  here  to  his  address.  For  on  the  21st, 
E.  J.  W.,  apparently  in  answer  to  some  communication  by  letter,  inserts  the 
word  "  Incorruptikle"  with  his  initials.  And  on  the  25th  he  celebrates  his 
own  incorruptibility  in  song  : 

Diogenes  his  Lantern  needs  no  more. 
An  honest  man  is  found,  the  search  is  o'er. 

Incorruptible  E.  J.  W. 

More  nonsense  of  a  similar  kind  follows.  Then,  on  February  8,  the  wife 
appears  once  more  to  be  heard  from  :  "  G —  Arthur  and  E.  J.  W.  are  inex- 
cusable in  absenting  themselves  from  the  two  indescribables.  Do  not  leave 
under  a  wilful  delusion.  .  .  .  All  communication  is  intercepted  in  England  and 
abroad,  and  our  reputations  calumniated  to  render  us  homeless  and  friend- 
less. Deceit  prevails."  The  plot  has  now  thickened,  and  conjecture  can 
make  only  the  vaguest  surmises.  Nothing  more  appears  until  March  24, 
when  E.  J.  W.  says,  "  Fly  by  nigh  T  has  got  the  anchor.  Corruption  wi..s, 
and  England's  lost."  On  March  30  the  tables  appear  to  be  turned  :  "Achil- 
les has  GOT  the  lever.  Corruption  sinks,  and  virtue  swims.  E.  J.  W." 
Again  more  nonsense  follows,  then  an  interval  of  silence.  At  last  E.  J.  W. 
cries  out,  Je  vetix  voir  7na  fille :  a  little  later  (June  27,  1854),  "  I'll  not  touch 
the  money.  It's  stolen  property  ;"  and  exactly  a  year  later,  "  I  tell  you  again 
I'll  not  touch  the  money.  But  where's  my  child  ?"  It  would  almost  seem 
that  he  was  finally  persuaded  to  reconsider  his  determination,  whatever  it  was, 
for  on  September  29,  1855,  he  writes, — 

Pity— yes.  The  future  of  a  buried  heart  and  conscience  !  It  is  more  than  unfeeling  to 
seize  the  unhappy  hour  of  a  weak  and  erring  heart  to  influence  it  to  violate  its  whole  nature, 
abandon  the  tenderest  ties,  and  make  it  forever  bankrupt  of  every  true  and  proper  feeling. 
Remorse,  and  one  day  you  will  feel  it. 

On  November  i,  1855,  he  breaks  out, — 

By  that  bitter  cup  you  have  given,  and  I  drank  to  the  dregs;  .  .  .  by  promises  made  to 
those  now  no  more,  I  wUl  see  you.  Be  true  to  yourself  and  to  me.  Oh,  M'y,  M'y  I  I  would 
save  you  the  pangs  of  error, — God  forbid  of  crime, — and  though  the  passion,  jealousy,  hate, 
and  madness  you  have  excited  be  scorned  and  denied,  when  the  serpent  you  foster  is  wearied, 
— yea,  even  tlien,  here  is  your  haven,  when  all  forsake. 

Once  more  she  insists, — 

You  are  deceived.  Those  now  no  more  were  deceived.  I  foster  none,  but  am  true  to  ties 
of  happier  days.     Open  to  me  a  communication  and  a  public  investigation.     Mary. 

There  is  now  a  silence  of  many  months.  Then  in  July,  1857,  advertise- 
ments again  break  out,  hinting  at  some  mysterious  money  transactions  under 
the  headings,  "Nicirr  eine  Million,"  "Genug  fur  Alles,"  etc.  They 
seem  to  have  resulted  in  E.  J.  W.  receiving  back  his  daughter.  But  he  retained 


32  HANDY- BO  OK  OF 

her  only  a  short  time,  though  he  had  signed  away  his  fortnne  for  her.     Here  is 
the  most  lucid  of  many  notices  relating  to  this  double  loss: 

To  B.  C.  Z.  You  don't  know  their  antecedents  (rouge  et  noir).  I  have  never  seen  any  of 
my  money  from  the  day  I  nobly  signed  it  away ;  and  I  did  not  see  my  child  for  five  years, 
and  yet  1  respected  the  laws  of  humanity  ;  and  you  see  the  return— I  have  lost  my  daughter 
a  second  time. 

He  never  saw  her  again,  apparently,  though  he  managed  to  establish  a  cor- 
respondence with  her  in  French  through  the  Agony  column.  Then  this  breaks 
off  and  another  silence  ensues,  which  is  sufficiently  explained  by  this  notice, 
dated  October  12,  1865  : 

The  Heart  of  Stone.  Fifteen  years  of  gloomiest  depression,  and  long,  sad  hours  of 
pain  and  sorrow,  have  made  me  what  I  am  ;  but  ihe  idol  of  our  mutual  affection  having  now 
passed  into  a  better  life,  "  He..rt  of  Stone"  will  relent  if  "  Martyr,"  with  meekness  and  sub- 
mission befitting  her  self-adopted  title,  consents  to  the  condition  stated  in  a  former  communi- 
cation to  Mr.  Poll.-iky,  Private  Inquiry  Office,  13,  Paddinglon  Green;  until  then  no  meeting 
can  or  shall  take  place. 

On  October  18,  "Martyr"  signifies  her  acquiescence  in  the  conditions,  with 
certain  reservations,  apparently  pecuniary.  With  all  his  old-time  nobility  of 
nature,  Heart  of  Stone  replies, — 

After  so  many  years  of  lacerating  agony,  what  are  riches  to  me?  and  now  that  our  idol  is 
no  more,  I  do  not  press  further  your  accepiance  of  clause  5.  Let  our  meeting  take  place  on 
the  approaching  anniversary  of  an  event  so  indelibly  impressed  on  the  memory  of  us  boih; 
and  may  the  solemnity  of  our  reconciliation  at  the  hour  of  our  reunion  not  be  profaned  by 
the  faintest  suspicion  of  parsimony.  I  will  communicate  to  Mr.  PoUaky  the  exact  lime  and 
place  of  meeting. 

And  so  the  curtain  falls  on  the  couple.  Whether  they  made  mutual  and 
satisfactory  explanations,  whether  they  were  happy  ever  after,  we  have  no 
means  of  discovering. 

Agreeing  to  differ.  This  now  familiar  phrase  dates  back  to  Sidney's 
"Arcadia,"  Book  I.  :  "  ]>et\veen  these  two  persons  [Dan^etas  and  Miso],  who 
never  agreed  in  any  humor  but  in  disagreeing,  is  issued  forth  Mistress  Mojjsa, 
a  fit  woman  to  partake  of  both  their  perfections."  Southey,  in  his  "  Life  of  Wes- 
ley," has  the  ipsissima  verba  "agreed  to  differ."  The  more  antithetic  phrase 
"agreeing  to  disagree"  is  now  more  common. 

So  I  have  talked  with  Betsey,  and  Betsey  has  talked  with  me. 
And  we  have  agreed  together  that  we  can't  never  agree. 

Will  Carleton  :  Fjirm  Ballads:  Betsey  and  I  are  Oat. 

Albe,  a  nickname  which  Shelley  and  his  companions  applied  to  Byron.  It 
is  a  contraction  of  Albanese  or  Albaneser,  and  is  an  allusion  to  the  noble 
lord's  fondness  for  that  people,  which  he  carried  to  so  great  an  extent  as  to 
become  their  blood-brother  by  adojition.  This  fact  is  made  plain  by  the  alter- 
native form  Albaneser  appearing  in  a  letter  from  Shelley  to  his  wife,  written 
from  Venice,  August  23,  1818.  Yet  critics  who  are  fond  of  mares'  nests  have 
spent  a  deal  of  ingenious  conjecture  on  the  term.  Mr.  Forman  suggests  that 
Albe  was  formed  from  the  initials  L.  B.  =  Lord  Byron.  Another  would  make 
it  an  abbreviation  of  Albemarle  Street,  whence  the  poems  of  Byron  were 
issued.  And  a  third,  with  a  subtlety  of  roundabout  surmise  that  is  worthy  of 
all  praise,  finds  an  explanation  in  a  romance  by  Mnie.  Cottin,  entitled  "Claire 
d'Alhe,"  which  Shelley  admired  so  much  that  he  encouraged  his  first  wife  to 
translate  it  into  English.  Now,  if  Byron's  Claire  was  ever  dubbed  Claire 
d'Albe,  Byron  himself  might  become  Albe  ! 

Albion  Perfide  (F.,  "Perfidious  Albion").  This  phrase  is  generally  at- 
tributed to  Napoleon.  But  though  he  undoubtedly  used  it,  the  idea  long  ante- 
dated him.  Thus,  in  Perlin's  "  Description  des  Royaulmes  d'Angleterre  et 
d'Ecosse"  (1558) :  "  One  may  say  of  the  English  that  in  war  they  are  not  strong, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  33 

and  in  peace  they  are  not  faithful.  As  the  Spaniard  says,  Angleterre  bonne 
terie  mala  gente"  (England,  good  country,  bad  people).  On  the  other  hand, 
Misson,  in  his  "Travels"  (1719),  says,  "  I  cannot  imagine  what  could  occasion 
the  notion  I  have  frequently  observed  in  France  that  the  English  were  treach- 
erous. It  is  certainly  great  injustice  to  reckon  treachery  among  the  vices 
familiar  to  the  English."  The  following  lines  are  said  to  have  been  composed 
by  Philip  of  Valois  on  the  occasion  of  Edward  III.'s  invasion  of  P'rance  : 

Angelus  est  Anglus  cui  nunquam  fidere  fas  est : 

Dum  ubi  dicet  ave,  sicut  ab  hoste  cave. 

Grozsetus  ex  Gaguino,  in  Hist.  Franc. 

Aldine,  a  name  given  to  the  books  that  issued  from  the  jiress  of  Aldus 
Manutius  (Latinized  form  of  Aldo  Manuzio)  and  his  family  in  Venice.  These, 
from  their  historic  interest  in  the  annals  of  printing  and  their  intrinsic  ex- 
cellence, have  always  been  held  in  high  repute  by  book-lovers, — especially 
the  publications  of  Aldus  himself.  A  generous  love  of  classic  literature  was 
Aldus's  main  motive  when,  in  1490,  he  founded  the  great  house  which,  after 
revolutionizing  the  art  of  printing  and  book-making,  went  out  of  existence  in 
1597.  The  Aldine  publications  consist  oi  editiones  principes  of  ancient  classics 
and  corrected  te.xts  of  the  more  modern  Italians,  with  grammars,  philologies, 
and  other  works  of  erudition.  They  are  even  now  reckoned  with  manuscripts 
among  the  critical  apparatus  of  scholars.  Aldus,  or  rather  his  engraver, 
Francesco  of  Bologna,  invented  what  they  called  cursive  types  (i.e.,  italics), 
which  were  first  used  in  the  edition  of  Virgil  published  in  1 501,  a  volume 
memorable,  also,  as  the  first  octavo  ever  issued.  Printing  now  became  one  of 
the  fine  arts.  The  success  of  the  Aldine  editions  led  to  piratical  counterfeits 
in  Lyons  and  Florence,  which  even  imitated  the  dolphin  twined  round  an 
anchor,  which  was  the  Aldine  trade-mark,  and  the  alternative  mottoes,  "  Fes- 
tina  lente"  or  "  Sudavit  et  alsit."  Aldus  himself  complained  bitterly  of  these 
pirates:  "The  paper  of  these  books  is  second-rate,  and  even  smells  badly." 
They  remain  to  this  day  a  puzzle  and  a  despair  to  amateur  book-collectors, 
but  an  expert  can  tell  the  genuine  not  only  by  the  superior  quality  of  the 
paper  used,  but  by  the  fact  that  the  consonants  are  attached  to  the  vowels  as 
in  writing,  while  in  the  counterfeits  they  stand  apart. 

Alexanders  at  five  sous  a  day.  This  is  a  phrase  which  Voltaire  applied 
to  soldiers.  Is  it  the  origin  of  the  popular  American  locution  for  the  shadow 
or  imitator  of  a  great  original  :  A  little  Washington  (or  Blaine,  or  Cleveland, 
or  what  not)  for  a  cent?  Certainly  in  France  it  has  given  rise  to  a  similar 
expression.  For  example,  Emile  Faguet  ("  Dix-huitieme  Siecle,"  1890,  p.  193) 
says,  "Voltaire  n'a  pas  ete  artiste  pour  un  obole"  ('-Voltaire  was  not  an  artist 
for  a  cent"),  or,  in  other  words,  was  not  at  all  an  artist. 

Alexander  the  Corrector,  a  title  assumed  by  Alexander  Cruden  (1701- 
1770),  the  compiler  of  the  famous  Concordance  of  the  Bible,  who  had  been 
employed  in  various  printing-offices  as  corrector  of  the  press,  but  who  used  it 
in  the  higher  sense  of  one  chvinely  appointed  to  correct  the  morals  of  the 
nation,  with  especial  regard  to  swearing  and  the  neglect  of  Sabbatical  obser- 
vances. Me  petitioned  Parliament  for  a  formal  appointment  as  a  corrector 
for  the  reformation  of  the  people,  and,  being  confined  for  a  brief  period  m  an 
insane  asylum,  published  an  account  of  his  detention  in  "The  Adventures  ot 
Alexander  the  Corrector."     (See  a  review  in  Gentleman's  Magazine,  xxiv.  50.) 

Alexandra  limp.  One  of  the  absurdest  fads  of  toadying  imitation. 
Princess  Alexandra  walks  with  a  slight  limp.  Immediately  after  her  mai- 
riage  with  the  Prince  of  Wales  (in  1860^  an  epidemic  of  lameness  broke  ou 
among  the  petticoated  hangers-on  of  royalty,  which  soon  spread  through  all 
the  female  world  of  England,  until  it  was  happily  laughed  out  of  existence. 


34  HAXDY-BOOK  OF 

Alive  and  kicking,  a  common  saying,  meaning  very  much  alive.  The 
allusion  is  to  a  child  in  the  womb  after  quickening. 

All-fired,  in  English  and  American  slang,  inordinate,  violent,  immoderate. 
Xot  unlikely  it  is  aeuphemistic  corruption  of  "hell-tired." 

•■  I  know  I  b«  so  ali-fired  jealous  I  can't  bear  to  hear  o'  her  talking,  let  alone  writing,  to 
you." — T.  Hughes:    7lv«  Bro-zun  at  Ojr/orJ. 

All  fours.  To  go  or  run  on,  a  familiar  expression,  meaning  to  go  on 
smoothly,  successfully.  Coke  quotes  it  as  an  ancient  saying  :  "  But  no  simile 
holds  on  everything.' according  to  the  ancient  S3.y\ng,  XuLum  simiU  qu.ituor 
peJil>us  currit."'  The  saving  is  still  a  common  form  of  comparison  with  law- 
yers to  imply  that  two  things  exactly  agree. 

Alliteration.  The  repetition  of  some  letter  or  sound  at  the  beginning  of 
two  or  more  words  in  close  or  immediate  succession,  as, — 

Apt  alliteration's  artful  aid, — 
a  line  by  Churchill,  which  illustrates  while  it  characterizes.  In  the  hands  of 
a  master,  alliteration  becomes  a  legitimate  source  of  metric  effect ;  in  those 
of  a  bungler,  it  is  a  vexation  to  the  spirit.  The  mere  Jiterar)-  trifler  finds  in 
it  a  medium  for  more  or  less  astonishing  yet  entirely  valueless  tours  de  force. 
Alliteration  is  the  parent  of  modern  rhyme.  In  Icelandic  and  Gothic  poetry 
it  was  reduced  to  a  svstem  which  soon 'passed  into  our  literature  and  became 
the  metrical  basis  of  early  English  poetry.  Here  is  an  example  from  Piers 
Plowman  : 

By  Saint  /^ul,  quoth  Perkin, 

Ye  drofer  me  fayre, 
That  I  shall  jwynke  and  f  wete 

And  jowe  for  us  bothe 
And  other  /abors  do  for  thy  /ove 

Al  my  /yfe  t>-me, 
In  toveiiant  that  thou  /ieep 
Holy  Kyrke  and  myselte 
Fro  K-asters  and  ftx)  a-ycked  men 
That  this  ttorid  destroyeih,  etc. 

There  is  here  an  agreeable  repetition  of  the  same  initial  at  the  most  ein- 
phatic  pauses  of  the  verse.  As  a  rule,  three  such  letters  were  allowed  in 
every  couplet, — two  in  the  first  member  of  the  distich,  the  other  in  a  prominent 
part'  of  the  second.  Thus  the  attention  was  arrested  and  the  structure  of 
the  verse  indicated  bv  a  dominant  letter  which  ruled  like  the  key-note  of  a 
chant  With  the  modern  as  with  the  classical  poets,  alliteration  is  only  brought 
in  as  an  occasional  ornament, — not  as  a  structural  part  of  the  verse.  Spenser, 
Shakespeare,  Milton,  Gray.  Tennyson,  are  especially  happy  in  their  use  of  it 
But  these  great  artists  are'  careful'to  place  their  alliterative  words  at  some  dis- 
tance, making  them  answer  to  one  another  at  the  beginning  and  end  of  a  period, 
or  so  arranging  them  that  they  mark  the  metre  and  become  the  key-words  of 
the  line  :  thus. 

Heard  ye  the  arrow  hurtle  in  the  air? 

is  fine,  but  the  music  would  be  ruined  by  a  very  slight  transposition : 
Heard  ye  the  hurtling  arrow  in  the  air? 
In  the  former  case  the  ear  is  satisfied  by  a  repetition  of  the  h  sound  which 
it  had  just  begun  to  lose  ;  in  the  latter  it  is  annoyed  by  the  too  quick  suc- 
cession of  another  aspirant 

Generally  the  repeated  letter  is  found  at  the  beginnmg  of  words,  though 
it  may  occur  in  the  second  or  final  syllable,  but  in  either  case  that  syllable 
must  be  the  accented  part  of  the  word,  <f.^^. : 

That  hushed  in  grim  re/ose  expects  his  evening/rey.— Gray. 


LITER AR  V  CURIOSITIES. 


35 


Here,  culled  almost  at  random  from  the  masters  of  metre,  are  some  speci- 
mens of  successful  alliteration  : 

They  cheerly  chaunt,  and  rhymes  at  random  ?i\in%.— Spenser. 
The  churlish  chiding  of  the  winter's  "fi'm^.— Shakespeare. 
In  maiden  meditation,  fancy  free. — Sliakespeare. 
God  never  made  his  work  for  man  to  mend. — Dryden. 
The  fair  breeze  blew,  the  white  foam  flew. 
The  furrow  followed  free. — Coleridge. 
The  rapture  of  repose. — Byron. 
No  gift  beyond  that  bitter  boon,  our  \i\x\h.— Byron. 
The  fervent  underlip,  and  that  above. 
Lifted  with  laughter  or  abashed  with  love. 
Thine  amorous  girdle,  full  of  thee  and  fair. 
And  leavings  of  the  lilies  in  thine  hair. — Swinburne. 
Dip  down  upon  the  Northern  shore, 
O  sweet  new  j'ear,  delaying  long. 
Thou  dost  expectant  Nature  wrong. 
Delaying  long— delay  no  more. —  Tennyson. 

In  the  example  from  Swinburne,  the  sounds  of/  /,  and  ab,  and  in  that  from 
Tennyson,  the  sounds  of  d,  n,  and  /,  are  interlinked  with  wondrous  harmonic 
result. 

But  harmony  is  not  the  only  guerdon  won  by  alliteration.  The  value  of 
dissonance  in  heightening  an  effect,  in  giving  force  to  a  figure,  in  making  the 
sound  an  echo  of  the  sense,  has  often  been  proved.     In  Pope's  famous  line, — 

Up  the  high  hill  he  heaved  the  huge  round  stone, 

the  continuous  halts  called  for  by  the  repetition  of  the  aspirate  produce  a  very 

effective  idea  of  long-drawn  effort.     Almost  as  good  is  Young's 

But  the  black  blast  blows  hard. 

The  following,  from  Alfred  Austin's  "Season,"  is  less  known,  but  is  well 

worth  quoting  : 

Be  dumb,  ye  dawdlers,  whilst  his  spells  confound 
The  gathered — scattered — symphonies  of  sound  ; 
Cymbals  barbaric  clang,  cowed  flutes  complain. 
As  the  sharp,  cruel  clarion  cleaves  the  strain ; 
To  drum,  deaf-bowelled,  drowning  sob  and  wail. 
Seared  viols  shriek,  that  pity  may  prevail, 
Till  with  tumultuous  purpose  swift  and  strong 
Sweeps  the  harmonious  hurricane  of  song. 

It  is  not  only  in  serious  writing,  however,  that  alliteration  has  been  found 
effective.  In  mock-heroic  verse,  in  burlesque,  and  even  in  humorous  prose,  it 
frequently  points  a  jest  and  sharpens  an  epigram.     In  Pope's  line, — 

Puffs,  powders,  patches.  Bibles,  billet-doux, 
at  once  the  resemblance  and  the  contrasts  are  accentuated  by  the  recurrent 
/'s  and  b'%.  Sydney  Smith's  humor  was  greatly  assisted  by  his  clever  use  of 
this  artifice.  He  thus  ridicules  Perceval's  scheme  to  prevent  the  introduction 
of  medicines  into  France  during  a  pestilence  :  "  At  what  period  was  this 
great  plan  of  conquest  and  constipation  fully  developed  ?  In  whose  mind  was 
the  idea  of  destroying  the  pride  and  the  plasters  of  France  first  engendered  ? 
Without  castor  oil  they  might  for  some  months,  to  be  sure,  have  carried  on 
the  war,  but  can  they  do  without  bark  t  Depend  upon  it,  the  absence  of  the 
materia  medica  will  soon  bring  them  to  their  senses,  and  the  cry  of  Bourbon 
and  Bolus  burst  forth  from  the  Baltic  to  the  Mediterranean."  And  elsewhere 
he  likens  the  poorer  clergy  to  Lazarus,  "  doctored  by  dogs,  and  comforted 
with  crumbs."  Curran  describes  a  politician  as  one  who,  "  buoyant  by  putre- 
faction, rises  as  he  rots."     The  antithesis  and  alliteration  of  the  last  four  words 


36  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

have  a  tremendous  effect.  Voltaire's  farewell  to  Holland  is  a  classic  :  "  Adieu, 
canaux,  canards,  canaille."  Very  good,  too,  is  the  following  from  Mortimer 
Collins,  characterizing  a  bishop  in  "The  Princess  Clarice"  as  one  "'who  had 
the  respect  of  rectors,  the  veneration  of  vicars,  the  admiration  of  archdeacons, 
and  the  cringing  courtesy  of  curates."  Grattan,  denouncing  the  British  mon- 
archy, said,  "  Their  only  means  of  government  are  the  guinea  and  the  gallows." 
One  of  Lord  Salisbury's  happiest  j^hrases  was,  "The  dreary  drip  of  dilatory 
declamation."  Byron's  lines  also  will  recur  to  the  memory  : 
Beware,  lest  blundering  Brougham  destroy  the  sale, 
Turn  beefs  to  bannocks,  cauliflower  to  kail. 

English  Bards  and  Scotch  Reviewers. 
The  following  epigram  upon  Bishop  Pretyman  (afterwards  known  as  Bishop 
Tomline)  has  merit : 

Prim  Preacher,  Prince  of  Priests  and  Prince's  Priest, 
Pembroke's  pale  pride  in  Pitt's  praecordia  placed, 
Thy  merits  shall  all  future  ages  scan, 
And  Prince  be  lost  in  Parson  Pretyman. 
That  the  ear  finds  a  natural  comfort  in  this  species  of  assonance  is  evidenced 
by  the  fact   that  many  of  our   compound  words  are  formed  on  this  principle. 
There  is  no  other  ground  for  saying  milkmaid  in  lieu  of  milk-girl,  or  butcher- 
boy   in    lieu   of    butcher-man.      Fancy-free,    hot-headed,    browbeaten,    heavy- 
handed,  and  the  like,  might  also  be  instanced.   Nay,  the  alliterative  tendency  is 
continued  in   our   proverbs,  which   derive   therefrom    much  of  their   pith  and 
point :  as,  Where  there  is  a  will  there  is  a  way.  Money  makes  the  mare  to  go, 
Many  a  mickle  makes  a  muckle.  Love  me  little,  love  me  long,  etc.     The  same 
trick  is  observable  in  the  proverbial  literature  of  other  countries. 

But  alliteration  becomes  a  defect  when  excessively  and  injudiciously  em- 
ployed. Li  the  sixteenth  and  seventeenth  centuries  it  was  allowed  to  run 
riot.  Trapp's  Commentary  on  the  Bible  offers  the  following  gems  :  "  As 
empty  stomachs  can  hardly  sleep,  so  neither  can  graceless  persons,  till  gorged 
and  glutted  with  sweetmeats  of  sin,  with  murdering  morsels  of  mischief,"  and 
"  Such  a  hoof  is  grown  over  some  men's  hearts  as  neither  ministry,  nor  mir- 
acle, nor  mercy  can  possibly  mollify." 

About  this  time,  too,  books  were  sent  out  into  the  world  burdened  with  such 
curious  alliterative  titles  as  "Seven  Sobs  of  a  Sorrowful  Soul  for  Sins,"  and 
"A  Sigh  of  Sorrow  for  the  Sinners  of  Zion."  But,  indeed,  even  Dr.  Johnson 
published  a  pamphlet  under  the  title  of  "  Taxation  no  Tyranny," — "  a  jingling 
alliteration,"  says  Macaulay,  "which  he  ought  to  have  despised." 

It  is  in  ridicule  of  this  alliterative  affectation  that  Shakespeare  in  "  Love's 
Labor's  Lost"  makes  Holofernes  say, — 

I  will  something  affect  the  letter,  for  it  argues  facility  : 

The  playful  princess  pierced  and  pricked  a  pretty,  pleasing  pricket. 

Of  parody  of  this  sort,  however,  the  most  astonishing  example  may  be  found 
in  a  certain  poetical  skit,  anonymous  and  unacknowledged,  yet  none  the  less 
the  undoubted  handiwork  of  Swinburne,  and  therefore  all  the  more  notable, 
because  the  author  parodied  is  Swinburne  himself! 

Nephelidia. 
From  the  depth  of  the  dreamy  decline  of  the  dawn  through  a  notable  nimbus  of  nebulous 
noonshine. 
Pallid  and  pink  as  the  palm  of  the  flag-flower  that  flickers  with  fear  of  the  flies  as  they  float. 
Are  the -looks  of  our  lovers  that  lustrously  lean  from  a  marvel  of  mystic,  miraculous  moon- 
shine? 
These  that  we  feel  in  the  blood  of  our  blushes  that  thicken  and  threaten  with  throbs 
through  the  throat  ? 
Thicken  and  thrill  as  a  theatre  thronged  at  appeal  of  an  actor's  appalled  agitation. 

Fainter  with  fear  of  the  fires  of  the  future  than  pale  with  the  promise  of  pride  in  the  past ; 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  37 

Flushed  with  the  furnishing  fulness  of  fever  that  reddens  with  radiance  of  rathe  recreation, 
Gaunt  as  the  ghastliest  of  glimpses  that  gleam  through  the  gloom  of  the  gloaming  when 
ghosts  go  aghast? 
Nay,  for  the  nick  of  the  tick  of  the  time  is  a  tremulous  touch  on  the  temples  of  terror. 
Strained  as  the  sinews  yet  strenuous  with  strife  of  the  dead  who  is  dumb  as  the  dust-heaps 
of  death ; 
Surely  no  soul  is  it,  sweet  as  the  spasm  of  erotic,  emotional,  exquisite  error, 
Bathed  in  the  balms  of  beatified  bliss,  beatific  itself  by  beatitude's  breath. 
Surely  no  spirit  or  sense  of  a  soul  that  was  soft  to  the  spirit  and  soul  of  our  senses 

Sweetens  the  stress  of  suspiring  suspicion  that  sobs  in  the  semblance  and  sound  of  a  sigh ; 
Only  this  oracle  opens  Olympian  in  mystical  moods  and  triangular  tenses, — 

"  Life  is  the  lust  of  a  lamp  for  the  light  that  is  dark  till  the  dawn  of  the  tiay  when  we  die." 
Mild  is  the  mirk  and  monotonous  music  of  memory,  melodiously  mute  as  it  may  be. 

While  the  hope  in  the  heart  of  a  hero  is  bruised  by  the  breach  of  men's  rapiers,  resigned  to 
the  rod  ; 
Made  meek  as  a  mother  whose  bosom-beats  bound  with  the  bliss-bringing  bulk  of  a  balm, 
breathing  baby. 
As  they  grope  through  the  graveyard  of  creeds  under  skies  glowing  green  at  a  groan  for  the 
grimness  of  God. 
Blank  is  the  book  of  his  bounty  beholden  of  old,  and  its  binding  is  blacker  than  bluer  : 
Out  of  blue  into  black  is  the  scheme  of  the  skies,  and  their  dews  are  the  wine  of  the  blood- 
shed of  things ; 
Till  the  darkling  desire  of  delight  shall  be  free  as  a  fawn  that  is  freed  from  the  fangs  that 
pursue  her, 
Till  the  heart-beats  of  hell  shall  be  hushed  by  a  hymn  from  the  hunt  that  has  harried  the 

kennel  of  kings. 
And  this  brings  us  to  all  that  class  of  triflers  who  have  used  alliteration, 
not  as  an  ornament,  but   as  an   exercise  of  more  or  less  misplaced  ingenuity. 
Latin  literature  probably  affords    the  very  earliest  instance  in  this  line  of 
Ennius : 

O  Tite,  tute  Tati  tibi  tanta  tiranne  tulisti. 

In  more  modern  times  we  are  told  of  a  monk  named  Hugbald  who  wrote  an 
"  Ecloga  de  Calvis,"  every  word  beginning  with  e,  and  of  a  certain  "Publiuni 
Porciuni,  poetam,"  who  so  signed  a"  Latin  poem  of  one  hundred  lines, — to  be 
found  in  the  Nugae  Venates,— every  word  of  which  begins  with  a/.  Here  is 
a  single  couplet : 

Propterea  properans  Proconsul,  poplite  prono, 
Precipitem  Plebem,  pro  pairum  pace  proposcit. 
We  even  hear  of  a  more  prodigious  effort,  extending  to  one  thousand  lines, 
each  word  beginning  with  c,  the  "  Christus  Crucifixus"  of  Christianus  Pierius  : 
Consilebratulse,  cunctorum,  carmine,  certum,  etc. 
The  famous  English  couplet  on  Cardinal  Wolsey  has  somewhat  more  than 
this  mere  verbal  dexterity  to  recommend  it : 

Begot  by  butchers,  but  by  bishops  bred. 
How  high  his  honor  holds  his  haughty  head  ! 
Here  the  very  uncouthness  in   the  persistent  recurrence  of  similar  sounds 
gives  the  effect  of  cumulative  scorn  and  contempt.     No  such  allowance,  hovy- 
ever,  can  be  made  for  the  eccentric  traveller  Lithgow,  who  wrote  a  poem  m 
which  every  word  begins  with  a^.     Here  are  the  first  two  lines  : 
Glance  glorious  Geneve,  gospel-guiding  gem. 
Great  God  govern  good  Geneve's  ghostly  game. 
A  curious  little  volume  called  "  Songs  of  Singularity,  by  the  London  Hermit," 
published  quite  recently,  contains  the  following  tour  deforce: 

A  Serenade 
In  M  flat.     Sung  by  Major  Marmaduke  Muttinhead  to  Mademoiselle  Madeline  Mendosa 
Marriott. 
My  Madeline  I  my  Madeline  ! 

Mark  my  melodious  midnight  moans. 
Much  may  my  melting  music  mean. 
My  modulated  monotones. 


38 


HANDY-BOOK  OF 

My  mandolin's  mild  minstrelsy, 

My  mental  music  magazine, 
My  mouth,  my  mind,  my  memory, 

Must  mingling  murmur  "  Madeline." 

Muster  'mid  midnight  masquerade, 

Mark  Moorish  maidens,  matrons'  mien, 
'Mongst  Murcia's  most  maje'itic  maids. 

Match  me  my  matchless  Madeline. 

Mankind's  malevolence  may  make 

Much  melancholy  music  mine; 
Many  my  motives  may  mistake. 

My  modest  merits  much  malign. 

My  Madeline's  most  mirthful  mood 

Much  mollifies  my  mind's  machine; 
My  mournfulness's  magnitude 

5lelts — makes  me  merry,  Madeline ! 

Match-making  ma's  may  machinate, 

Manoeuvring  misses  me  misween  ; 
Mere  money  may  make  many  mate; 

My  magic  motto's  "  Madeline." 

Melt,  most  mellifluous  melody, 

'Midst  Murcia's  misty  mounts  marine. 
Meet  me  by  moonlight — marry  me, 

Madonna  mia  ! — Madeline. 

A  famous  example  of  alliterative  poetry  is  the  following,  in  which  the  initial 
letters  of  the  lines  are  those  of  the  alphabet  in  proper  sequence,  forming  a 
sort  of  acrostic.  It  is  positively  claimed  for  Alaric  A.  Watts  by  his  son. 
There  are  other  claimants,  however  : 

The  Siege  of  Belgrade. 

"  Ardentem  aspicio  atque  arrectis  auribus  asto." — Virgil. 
An  Austrian  army,  awfully  arrayed. 
Boldly  by  balterj'  besieged  Belgrade  ; 
Cossack  commanders  cannonading  come. 
Dealing  destruction's  devastating  doom ; 
Every  endeavor  engineers  essay 
For  fame,  for  fortune,  forming  furious  fray; 
Gaunt  gunners  grapple,  giving  gashes  good; 
Heaves  high  his  head,  heroic  hardihood; 
Ibraham,  Islam,  Ismail,  imps  in  ill, 
Jostle  John,  Jarovlitz,  Jem,  Joe,  Jack,  Jill, 
Kick  kindling  Kutosoff,  kings'  kinsmen  kill , 
Labor  low  levels  lofiiest,  longest  lines  ; 

Men  marched  'mid  moles,  'mid  mounds,  'mid  murd'rous  mines. 
Now  nightfall's  near,  now  needful  nature  nods, 
Opposed,  opposing,  overcoming  odds. 
Poor  peasants,  partly  purchased,  partly  pressed. 
Quite  quaking.  Quarter !  quarter !  quickly  quest. 
Reason  returns,  recalls  redundant  rage. 
Saves  sinking  soldiL-rs,  softens  seigniors  sage. 
Truce,  Turkey,  truce  I  truce,  treach'rous  Tartar  train  I 
Unwise,  unjust,  unmerciful  Ukraine  ! 
Vanish,  vile  vengeance  I  vanish,  victory  vain  ! 
Wisdom  wails  w.ir — wails  warring  words.     What  were 
Xerxes,  Xantippe,  Ximenes,  Xavier? 
Yet  Ya-sy's  youth,  ye  yield  your  youthful  yest, 
Zealously,  Zarius,  zealously  zeal's  zest. 

The  above  has  been  often  imitated.  Here,  taken  almost  at  random,  are  a 
few  specimens  that  almost  equal  their  great  prototype : 


LITERAR  V  CURIOSITIES. 
Briseis. 

Achilles,  angered,  anxious,  and  aggrieved. 

Beheld  IJriseis,  beauteous  but  bereaved. 

Conducted  captive,  cautiously  conveyed, 

Dreading  departure,  desolate,  dismayed. 

Escorting  envoys  earnestly  entreat 

From  frightened  fair  forbearance,  free  from  fret  ; 

Giving  glad  gratulations  gayly  given. 

How,  heralding  her  happiness,  high  Heaven 

Immutably  involves  iu  its  intent 

Joys  jocund,  juvenescent  joys,  Jove-sent, 

King's  knabbing  knights,  kidnapping  klepted  kid. 

Love-lorn,  lamenting,  lady,  lingering,  lead. 

Meeting  Mycenae's  monarch  mournfully 

Near  nodding  navies  numerously  nigh. 

"  O  opulent  o'erruler,  owned,  obeyed. 

Propitious  prove,"  Pelides'  princess  prayed. 

"  Quench  quarrellings,  quit  quaking  quarry's  quest. 

Receive  rich  ransom,  ravishment  resist." 

Supremely  selfish,  stubborn  sovereign  sought 

To  tyrannize  that  timid  trembler's  thought. 

Until  Ulysses,  undismayed,  uncowed. 

Vindictive  vengeance  vehemently  vowed. 

Whereat  worn  warrior,  wild  with  wonderment, 

'Xhibiting  'xtremity's  'xtent, 

Yields  yearningly  ye  yokemate  youthful  yet, 

Zeus-fearing,  Zeus-obeying,  Zeus-beset. 

Again  Achilles,  armed  against  attack. 

Beheld  Briseis  blushingly  brought  back. 

Address  to  the  Aurora. — An  Alliterative  Poem. 

(Lines  written  on  shipboard  in  mid-ocean.) 


39 


Awake,  Aurora !  and  across  all  airs 

By  brilliant  blazon  banish  boreal  bears. 

Crossing  cold  Canope's  celestial  crown, 

Deep  darts  descending  dive  delusive  down. 

Entranced  each  eve  Europa's  every  eye 

Firm  fixed  forever  fastens  faithfully, 

Greets  golden  guerdon  gloriously  grand ; 

How  holy  Heaven  holds  high  his  hollow  hand  1 

Ignoble  ignorance,  inapt  indeed. 

Jeers  jestingly  just  Jupiter's  jereed  : 

Knavish  Kamschatkans,  knightly  Kurdsmen  know, 

Long  Labrador's  light  lustre  looming  low; 

Midst  myriad  multitudes  majestic  might. 

No  nature  nobler  numbers  Neptune's  night, 

Opal  of  Oxus  or  old  Ophir's  ores. 

Pale  pyrrhic  pyres  prismatic  purple  pours, — 

Quiescent  quivering,  quickly,  quaintly,  queer. 

Rich,  rosy,  regal  rays  resplendent  rear; 

Strange  shooting  streamers  streaking  starry  skies 

"Trail  their  triumphant  tresses — trembling  lies. 

Unseen,  unhonored  Ursa,  underneath. 

Veiled,  vanquished — vainly  vying — vanisheth  : 

Wild  Woden,  warning,  watchful — whispers  wan 

Xanthitic  Xeres,  Xerxes,  Xenophon, 

Yet  yielding  yesternight  yule's  yell  yawns 

Zenith's  zebraic  zigzag.  Zodiac  zones. 

Bunker  Hill  Monument  Celebration. 

Americans  arrayed  and  armed  attend ; 

Beside  battalions  bold,  bright  beauties  blend 

Chiefs,  clergy,  citizens  conglomerate, — 

Detesting  despots, — daring  deeds  debate; 

Each  eye  emblazoned  ensigns  entertain,— 

Flourishing  from  far, — fan  freedom's  flame. 

Guards  greeting  guards  grown  gray, — guest  greeting  guest. 


40  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

High-minded  heroes  hiiher  homeward  haste. 
Ingenuuus  juniors  join  in  jubilee. 
Kith  kenning  kin, — kind  knowing  kindred  key. 
Lo,  lengthened  lines  lend  Liberty  liege  love. 
Mixed  masses,  marshalled.  Monument-ward  move. 
Note  noble  navies  near, — no  novel  nution, — 
Oft  our  oppressors  overawed  old  ocean ; 
Presumptuous  princes,  pristine  patriots  paled. 
Queens'  quarrel  questing  quotas  quondam  quailed. 
Rebellion  roused,  revolting  ramparts  rose. 
Stout  spirits,  smiting  servile  soldiers,  strove. 
These  thrilling  themes,  to  thousands  truly  told. 
Usurpers'  unjust  usages  unfold. 
Victorious  vassals,  vauniings  vainly  veiled, 
Where,  whilesince,  Webster  warlike  Warren  wailed. 
'Xcuse  'xpletives  'xtra-queer  'xprcssed. 
Yielding  Yankee  yeomen  zest. 

Alma  Mater  (L.,  "fostering  mother"),  originally  the  title  given  by  the 
Romans  to  Ceres,  Cybele,  and  other  goddesses,  but  in  modern  use  applied 
by  students  to  the  college  or  seminary  in  which  they  have  been  educated. 
The  student  in  his  turn  is  frequently  called  an  adopted  son. 

There  is  something  in  the  affection  of  our  Alma  Mater  which  changes  the  nature  of  her 
adopted  sons  :  and  let  them  come  from  wherever  they  may,  she  soon  alters  them  and  makes  it 
evident  that  they  belong  to  the  same  brood. — Harvard  Register,  p.  377. 

Almighty  Dollar,  an  Americanism  for  mammon,  the  love  of  gold,  seems 
to  have  been  first  used  by  so  classic  a  writer  as  Washington  Irving  :  "  The 
Almighty  Dollar,  that  great  object  of  universal  devotion  throughout  our  land, 
seems  to  have  no  genuine  devotee  in  these  peculiar  villages."  ( Wolferfs  Roost: 
A  Creole  Village.)  Yet,  after  all,  as  Farmer  points  out,  this  is  merely  an 
old  friend  with  a  new  face,  for  Ben  Jonson  used  the  term  in  its  modern  sense 
when  speaking  of  money  : 

Whilst  that  for  which  all  virtue  now  is  sold. 

And  almost  every  vice,  Almightie  gold. 

Epistle  to  Elizabeth,  Countess  e^ Rutland. 

Alone.  Never  less  alone  than  "when  alone.  Cicero  originated 
this  apt  and  striking  paradox  in  his  "  De  Officiis,"  lib.  iii.  ch.  i.  :  "Nunquam 
se  minus  otiosum  esse,  quam  quum  otiosus,  nee  minus  solum,  quam  quum 
solus  esset."  ("  He  is  never  less  at  leisure  than  when  at  leisure,  nor  less 
alone  than  when  he  is  alone.")  Gibbon  in  his  "Memoirs,"  vol.  i.,  page  117, 
has  borrowed  the  expression  :  "  I  was  never  less  alone  than  when  by  myself." 
And  Rogers  has  versified  it  in  "  Human  Life  :" 

Then  never  less  alone  than  when  alone. 

Byron  has  slightly  varied  the  phrase  in  "  Childe  Harold,"  stanza  90  : 
In  solitude,  when  we  are  least  alone. 

Epictetus  ("Discourses,"  ch.  xiv.)  may  have  had  Cicero's  words  in  mind 
when  he  wrote,  "  When  you  have  shut  your  doors,  and  darkened  your  room, 
remember  never  to  say  that  you  are  alone  ;  but  God  is  within,  and  your  genius 
is  within, — and  what  need  have  they  of  light  to  see  what  you  are  doing .'" 

Alphabetic  Diversions.  The  twenty-six  letters  of  the  alphabet  may  be 
transposed  620,448,401, 733, 239,4;59,369,ooo  times.  This  should  be  good  news 
to  all  that  class  of  people  known  as  authors,  whose  business  and  profit  it  is  to 
transpose  these  letters  with  more  or  less  brilliant  and  remunerative  result. 
For  all  the  inhabitants  of  the  globe  could  not  in  a  thousand  million  of  years 
write  out  all  the  possible  transpositions  of  the  twenty-six  letters,  even  sup- 
posing that  each  wrote  forty  pages  daily,  each  page  containing  forty  different 
transpositions  of  the  letters.     Of  course  the  transpositions  possible  to  author- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  41 

ship — necessarily  limited  by  the  laws  of  grammar,  rhetoric,  and  occasional 
common  sense — are  not  so  inexhaustible.  Nevertheless,  it  is  quite  safe  to 
say  that  so  long  as  language  endures  it  will  always  be  possible  for  the  man  of 
genius  to  say  an  original  thing.  Yet  it  is  strange  to  note  how  long  it  took  the 
human  race  to  discover  that  a  score  or  so  of  orthoepic  symbols  would  suffice 
for  all  the  needs  of  written  speech.  Nor  was  the  discovery  a  sudden  one,  the 
independent  inspiration  of  any  race  or  period.  It  was  the  result  of  evolution 
taking  place  in  accordance  with  fixed  laws.  All  the  known  graphic  systems 
originated  in  a  picture-writing  as  rude  as  that  of  the  American  Indian  or  the 
African  Bushman,  and  progressed  by  a  slow  and  painful  transition  through 
the  conventionalized  hieroglyphs  representing  an  idea  or  a  word  to  the  sylla- 
bary which  denoted  the  phonetic  value  of  syllables  or  portions  of  words,  and 
thence  to  the  final  perfection  of  the  alphabet,  denoting  the  elementary  sounds 
into  which  all  words  and  syllables  could  in  the  last  analysis  be  reduced.  And 
from  the  clearest  and  simplest  of  these  early  alphabets,  which  nnnimized  the 
necessary  symbols  to  the  smallest  possible  quota,  all  modern  systems  of 
writing, — the  Northern  Runes,  the  Roman  alphabet,  which  has  now  finally 
.superseded  its  parent  Greek,  the  square  Hebrew  of  the  Jews,  the  elaborate 
Sanscrit,  the  Neskhi  alphabet, — vehicle  of  the  thoughts  of  Turk  and  Persian, 
as  well  as  of  all  the  vast  Arabic-speaking  world, — all  these  have  slowly 
diverged,  in  accordance  with  the  necessities  of  various  classes  of  languages. 
Utterly  diverse  as  all  these  alphabets  are  in  their  latest  form,  scientific 
paleography  has  succeeded  in  bridging  over  the  enormous  intervals  which 
separate  them  from  one  another,  in  explaining  the  transitions  that  time  and 
space  have  effected,  and  in  showing  that  they  are  all  but  the  manifold  develop- 
ments of  a  single  germ. 

And  what  was  that  germ  ?  Greek  myth  credited  the  invention  of  the 
alphabet  to  Cadmus  the  Phosnician.  The  myth  has  a  certain  substratum 
of  truth.  Cadmus  may  never  have  lived.  Certainly  neither  he  nor  any  other 
Phcenician  "invented"  the  alphabet.  It  is  not,  indeed,  an  invention  which 
would  occur  spontaneously  to  the  mind  even  of  the  most  creative  genius. 
And  the  Phoenicians,  though  clever  intermediaries,  were  not  creative  geniuses. 
Nevertheless,  they  did  give  the  alphabet  to  the  world.  Its  very  name  may 
be  cited  in  evidence,  referring  us,  as  it  does,  to  alpha  and  beta,  the  names  of 
the  first  two  letters  of  the  Greek  alphabet,  and  these  in  turn  to  the  Phoenician 
aleph  z.\-\Abeth  (still  the  names  of  the  first  two  letters  in  Hebrew),  which  signify 
"  ox"  and  "  house."  We  may,  therefore,  assume  that  the  Phoenicians  saw  some 
likeness  between  the  letters  so  named  by  them  and  the  pictures  of  an  ox  and 
a  house,  and  thence  we  are  easily  led  to  the  conclusion  that  they  borrowed 
the  symbols  from  some  foreign  system  of  writing  which  was  still  pictorial  at 
the  time  of  the  borrowing,  or  else  had  once  been  so.  Now,  the  most  highly 
civilized  nation  with  whom  the  Phoenicians  came  in  contact  was  the  Egyptian. 
It  was  by  a  system  of  selection,  therefore,  among  Egyptian  symbols  that  they 
developed  the  broad  generalization  of  an  alphabet.  No  doubt  the  elegant 
scholars  of  the  Nile,  cabined  and  confined  within  the  traditions  of  ancient 
learning  and  the  prejudices  of  early  habit,  looked  down  with  scorn  upon  this 
species  of  short-hand,  deeming  it  all  well  enough  for  ignorant  merchants,  but 
clearly  unfit  for  educated  i)eop1e.  Still,  the  Phoenicians  calmly  pursued  their 
way,  using  the  borrowed  alphabet  in  all  their  mercantile  transactions,  and 
carrying  it  as  an  instrument  of  intercourse  to  all  the  nations  among  whom 
they  dealt.  In  the  end,  the  universities  were  swept  away,  the  hieroglyphic 
scribes  were  out  of  employment,  and  mankind  was  taught  to  write  its  lan- 
guage in  the  A  B  C  of  the  Phoenician  trader,  while  the  hieroglyphic  and  syl- 
labic writings  sank  into  such  black  oblivion  that  it  took  the  life-work  of  several 
generations  of  scholars  to  recover  them. 


42  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

It  was  a  wise  though  a  lazy  cleric  whom  Luther  mentions  in  his  "  Table- 
Talk," — the  monk  who,  instead  of  reciting  his  breviary,  used  to  run  over  the 
alphabet  and  then  say,  "  O  my  God,  take  this  alphabet,  and  put  it  together  how 
you  will."  For  in  the  diverse  combinations  of  which  those  twenty-four  symbols 
are  capable  lies  all  that  the  human  heart  and  intellect  have  ever  conceived  or 
ever  can  conceive  of  truth  and  beauty  and  reverence, — all  possible  schemes  of 
philosophy,  all  possible  masterpieces  of  prose  or  poetry,  all  law  and  science 
and  order  and  religion.  In  these,  and  these  alone,  lie  all  the  records  of  the 
past  and  all  the  possibilities  of  the  future.  An  alphabet,  one  would  say,  is 
too  sacred  a  thing  to  be  treated  other  than  reverently.  Yet  there  have 
always  been  triflers,  even  in  this  Holy  of  Holies.  Some  miscreants  have 
taken  the  utmost  imaginable  pains  to  avoid  a  particular  letter,  and  have  com- 
posed poems,  essays,  and  treatises  without  once  raising  the  unmeaning  taboo. 
Others  have  made  inordinate  use  of  some  letter  and  insisted  that  it  should 
form  the  initial  of  every  word.  The  first  called  their  Procrustean  method 
lipogrammatizing  ;  the  latter,  alliteration.  Each  is  treated  under  its  proper 
caption.  Others,  again,  have  found  still  other  methods  of  conjuring  with  the 
alphabet, — a  cunning  sleight  of  hand  played  ujjon  those  magic  symbols  which 
may  be  made  to  work  miracles  at  the  beck  of  the  true  thaumaturgist. 

Some  ingenious  trifier  has  discovered  that  there  is  one  verse  in  the  Bible 
which  contains  all  the  letters  in  the  alphabet:  "And  I,  even  I,  Artaxerxes 
the  king,  do  make  a  decree  to  all  the  treasurers  which  are  beyond  the  river, 
that  whatsoever  Ezra  the  priest,  the  scribe  of  the  law  of  the  God  of  heaven, 
shall  require  of  you,  it  shall  be  done  speedily."  {Ezra  vii.  2i.)  Of  course  it 
will  be  seen  that  J  is  left  out ;  but  then  J  and  I  were  originally  the  same  letter. 
It  will  further  be  seen  that  the  letters  are  duplicated  and  reduplicated.  Prof. 
De  Morgan,  who  in  his  lucid  moments  was  a  great  mathematician,  used  to 
find  an  insane  pleasure  in  relieving  his  severer  studies  by  composing  inge- 
nious puzzles.  He  set  himself  to  improve  on  Ezra.  He  would  produce  a 
sentence  which  would  use  all  the  twenty-six  letters  and  use  each  only  once. 
Here,  however,  h;s  wits  failed  him.  After  many  fruitless  attempts,  he  decided 
on  a  compromise.  He  would  not  only  admit  the  license  of  using  /  for/,  but 
the  further  license  of  looking  on  u  and  v  as  the  same  letter.  The  result  came 
out  as  follows  : 

I  quartz  pyx  who  fling  muck  beds. 

The  professor  acknowledges  that  he  did  not  at  first  grasp  the  full  meaning 
and  beauty  of  this  sentence.  He  long  thought  that  no  human  being  could  say 
it  under  any  circumstances.  "At  last  I  happened  to  be  reading  a  religious 
writer,  as  he  thought  himself,  who  threw  aspersions  on  his  opponents  thick 
and  threefold.  Heyday  !  came  into  my  head,  this  fellow  flings  muck  beds  ;  he 
must  be  a  quartz  pyx.  And  then  I  remembered  that  a  pyx  is  a  sacred  vessel, 
and  quartz  is  a  hard  stone,  as  hard  as  the  heart  of  a  religious  foe-curser.  So 
that  the  line  is  the  motto  of  a  ferocious  sectarian  who  turns  his  religious  ves- 
sels into  mud-holders,  for  the  benefit  of  those  who  will  not  see  what  he  sees." 
Thus  heartened,  he  published  his  sentence  in  Notes  and  Queries,  and  boldly 
threw  down  the  gauntlet  to  all  and  sundry  to  do  better  if  they  could.  The 
gauntlet  was  taken  up  by  a  number  of  correspondents.  These  were  the  best 
of  the  results  arrived  at : 

Quiz  my  whigs  export  fund. 
Dumpy  quiz,  whirl  back  fogs  next. 
Get  nymph  ;  quiz  sad  brows  ;  fix  luck. 

The  professor  magnanimously  awards  the  palm  to  the  last  one.  "It  is 
good  advice,"  he  explains,  "  to  a  young  man,  very  well  expressed  under  the 
circumstances.     In  more  sober  English,  it  would  be,  '  Marry ;  be  cheerful ; 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  43 

watch  your  business.' "    It  is  doubtful,  however,  whether  the  young  man  would 
understand  it  without  the  accompanying  gloss. 

Since  that  time  many  other  people  have  tried  their  hands  at  the  same  kind 
of  trifling.  But  the  combined  intellect  of  the  world  has  produced  nothing  better 
than  this : 

Quiz,  Jack  ;  thy  frowns  vex. — G.  D.  Plumb. 

Now,  at  all  events,  this  makes  sense.  But  the  arbitrary  lugging  in  of  a  proper 
name  made  up  for  the  occasion  spoils  its  symmetry,  and  t'lie  reduplication  of 
the  letter  ti  throws  it  entirely  out  of  court.  Here  is  an  effort  still  more  in- 
telligible in  itself: 

John  T.  Brady  gave  me  a  black  walnut  box  of  quite  small  size. 

Here  the  name  is  a  very  common  one,  and  consequently  less  offensive  to 
the  finer  instincts.  But  the  continuous  reduplication  of  letters  relegates  it  to 
the  class  of  which  the  Biblical  specimen  already  quoted  remains  the  best 
because  unconscious  exponent. 

Another  scholar  has  discovered  that  there  are  only  two  words  in  the  English 
language  which  contain  all  the  vowels  in  their  order.  They  are  "  abstemious" 
and  "  facetious."  The  following  words  each  have  them  in  irregular  order : 
authoritative,  disadvantageous,  encouraging,  efficacious,  instantaneous,  im- 
portunate, mendacious,  nefarious,  objectionable,  precarious,  pertinacious,  sacri- 
legious, simultaneous,  tenacious,  unintentional,  unequivocal,  undiscoverable, 
vexatious. 

We  all  know  that  "  A  was  an  Archer  who  shot  at  a  frog,"  and  have  had  our 
early  thirst  for  knowledge  stimulated  by  the  descriptive  verses  of  which  this 
is  the  first  line,  and  the  accompanying  pictures  that  showed  an  archer  in  the 
earlier  stages  of  intoxication  transfixing  a  cheerful — nay,  an  hilarious — frog, 
followed  by  Butchers  and  Cows  of  so  alarming  an  aspect  that  we  have  never 
been  able  to  look  at  the  letters  B  and  C  without  conjuring  up  the  horrors  that 
disturbed  our  adolescent  imaginations.  These  juvenile  alphabets  have  lent 
themselves  to  numerous  parodies.  In  that  ponderous  bit  of  semi-facetiousness, 
"The  Doctor," — a  book  that  always  reminds  one  of  a  light-hearted  megathe- 
rium,— Southey  essays  his  hand  at  what  may  possibly  be  the  earliest  example. 
Speaking  of  periodical  literature,  he  declares  that  the  Golden  Age  of  Maga- 
zines has  passed  away : 

"  In  those  days  A  was  an  Antiquary,  and  wrote  articles  upon  Altars  and 
Abbeys  and  Architecture.  B  made  a  blunder,  which  C  corrected.  D  demon- 
strated that  E  was  in  error,  and  that  F  was  wrong  in  philology,  and  neither 
Philosopher  nor  Physician,  though  he  affected  to  be  both.  G  was  a  Genealo- 
gist :  H  was  an  Herald  who  helped  him.  I  was  an  inquisitive  Inquirer,  who 
found  reason  for  suspecting  J  to  be  a  Jesuit.  M  was  a  Mathematician. 
N  noted  the  weather.  O  observed  the  stars.  P  was  a  Poet  who  piddled  in 
pastorals,  and  prayed  Mr.  Urban  to  print  them.  Q  came  in  the  corner  of 
the  page  with  his  query.  R  arrogated  to  himself  the  right  of  reprehending 
every  one  who  differed  from  him.  S  sighed  and  sued  in  song.  T  told  an  old 
tale,  and  when  he  was  wrong  U  used  to  set  him  right.  V  was  a  Virtuoso. 
W  warred  against  Warburton.  X  excelled  in  algebra.  Y  yearned  for  im- 
mortality in  rhyme  ;  and  Z  in  his  zeal  was  always  in  a  puzzle." 

Probably  the  best,  most  consistent,  and  most  coherent  of  these  alphabets  is 
by  that  true  genius,  C.  S.  Calverley  : 

A  is  an  Angel  of  blushing  eighteen  ; 

B  is  the  Ball  where  the  Angel  was  seen ; 

C  is  her  Chaperon,  who  cheated  at  cards  ; 

D  is  the  Deuxtemps  with  Frank  of  the  Guards  ; 

E  is  her  Eye,  killing  slowly  but  surely; 

F  is  the  Fan  whence  it  peeped  so  demurely ; 


44  HANDY  BOOK  OF 

G  is  the  Glove  of  superlative  kid ; 

H  is  the  Hand  which  it  spitefully  hid  ; 

I  is  the  Ice  which  the  fair  one  demanded  ; 

J  is  the  Juvenile  that  dainty  who  handed  ; 

K  is  the  Kerchief,  a  rare  work  of  art ; 

L  is  the  Lace  which  composed  the  chief  part; 

M  is  the  old  iVIaid  who  watched  the  chits  dance  ; 

N  is  the  Nose  she  turned  up  at  each  glance  ; 

0  is  the  Olga  (ju>t  ihen  in  its  prime)  ; 

P  is  the  Partner  who  wouldn't  keep  time; 
Q  is  a  Quadrille  put  instead  of  the  Lancers ; 
R  the  Remonstrances  made  by  the  dancers  ; 
S  is  the  Supper  where  all  went  in  pairs  ; 
T  is  the  Twaddle  they  talked  on  the  stairs ; 
U  is  the  Uncle  who  "  thought  we'd  be  goin'  ;" 

V  is  the  Voice  which  his  niece  replied  "  No"  in; 
W  is  the  Waiter,  who  sat  up  till  eight ; 

X  is  his  exit,  not  rigidly  straight ; 

Y  is  the  Yawning  fit  caused  by  the  Ball ; 
Z  stands  for  Zero,  or  nothing  at  all. 

In  one  of  the  early  numbers  ol  Notes  and  Queries,  a  contributor  signing  him- 
self "  Eighty-One"  published  a  single-rhymed  alphabet,  and  threw  out  a  chal- 
lenge to  the  English-speaking  world  to  produce  another  equally  good.  Here 
is  "  Eighty-One's"  effort : 

A  was  an  Army  to  settle  disputes  ; 

B  was  a  Bull,  not  the  mildest  of  brutes ; 

C  was  a  Cheque,  duly  drawn  upon  Coutts, 

D  was  King  David,  with  harps  and  with  lutes; 

E  was  an  Emperor,  hailed  with  salutes; 

F  was  a  Funeral,  followed  by  mutes ; 

G  was  a  Gallant  in  Wellington  boots ; 

H  was  a  Hermit,  and  lived  upon  roots; 

1  was  Justinian  his  Institutes  ; 

K  was  a  Keeper,  who  commonly  shoots;  " 
L  was  a  Lemon,  the  sourest  of  fruits ; 
M  was  a  Ministry — say  Lord  Bute's ; 
N  was  Nicholson,  famous  on  flutes ; 

0  was  an  Owl,  that  hisses  and  hoots ; 

P  was  a  Pond,  full  of  leeches  and  newts; 
Q  was  a  Quaker  in  whity-brown  suits  ; 
R  was  a  Reason,  which  Paley  refutes  ; 
S  was  a  Sergeant  with  twenty  recruits  ; 
T  was  Ten  Tories  of  doubtful  reputes ; 
U  was  Uncommonly  bad  cheroots  ; 

V  Vicious  motives,  which  malice  imputes  ; 
*                                                X  an  Ex-king  driven  out  by  emeutes  ; 

Y  is  a  Yawn  ;  then,  the  last  rhyme  that  suits, 
Z  is  the  Zuyder  Zee,  dwelt  in  by  coots. 

The  challenge  was  taken  up  by  a  number  of  readers,  insomuch  that  the  ofifice 
■was  flooded  (evidently  the  paper  circulates  among  people  of  unbounded  leis- 
ure), and  only  a  small  proportion  of  the  answers  could  be  published.  As  good 
as  any  was  the  following  by  Mortimer  Collins  : 

A  is  my  Amy,  so  slender  of  waist ; 

B  's  little  Bet,  who  my  button  replaced  ; 

C  is  good  Charlotte,  good  maker  of  paste  : 

D  is  Diana,  the  forest  who  traced  ; 

E  is  plump  Ellen,  by  Edward  embraced ; 

F  is  poor  Fanny,  by  freckles  defaced ; 

G  is  Griselda,  unfairly  disgraced  ; 

H  is  the  Helen  who  Ilion  effaced ; 

1  is  fair  Ida,  that  princess  strait-laced  ; 
J  is  the  Judy  Punch  finds  to  his  taste ; 
K,  Katy  darling,  by  fond  lovers  chased; 
L  is  Laurette,  in  coquetry  encased  ; 

M  is  pale  Margaret,  saintly  and  chaste; 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  45 

N  is  gay  Norah,  o'er  hills  who  has  raced ; 

O  is  sweet  Olive,  a  girl  olive-faced  : 

P  's  pretty  Patty,  so  daintily  paced  ; 

Q  some  lair  Qiicriit,  in  blue  stockings  placed; 

R  is  Trail  Rose,  from  her  true  stem  displaced; 

S  is  brisk  Sal,  who  a  chicken  can  baste; 

T  is  Theresa,  at  love  who  grimaced; 

U  is  pure  Una,  that  maid  uiidebased  ; 

V  is  Victoria,  an  empire  who  graced  ; 
W  is  Winilred,  time  who  will  waste  ; 

X  is  Xantippe,  for  scolding  well  braced  ; 

Y  's  Mrs.  Yelvenon  :  ending  in  haste, 
Z  is  Zcnobia,  in  panoply  cased. 

Alps.  Hills  peep  o'er  hills,  and  Alps  on  Alps  arise.  The  concluding 
line  of  a  famous  simile  In  Pope's  "  Essay  on  Criticism,"  II.,  1.  32,  which  aims  to 
illustrate  the  growing  labors  of  science  and  learning.  Dr.  Johnson  has  praised 
this  simile  as  the  most  apt,  the  most  proper,  the  most  sublime  of  any  in  the 
English  language.  "The  comparison,"  he  says,  "  of  a  student's  progress  in 
the  sciences  with  the  journey  of  a  traveller  in  the  Alps  is  perhaps  the  best  that 
English  poetry  can  show.  It  has  no  useless  parts,  yet  affords  a  striking  picture 
by  itself;  it  makes  the  foregoing  position  better  understood,  and  enables  it  to 
take  faster  hold  on  the  attention  ;  it  assists  the  apprehension  and  elevates  the 
fancy."  But  Warton  points  out  that  the  simile  and  consequently  the  panegyric 
belong  to  Drummond  : 

All  as  a  pilgrim  who  the  Alps  doth  pass, 
***** 

When  he  some  heaps  of  hills  hath  overwent, 
Begins  to  think  on  rest,  his  journey  spent, 
Till,  mounting  some  tall  mountain,  he  doth  find 
More  heights  before  him  than  he  left  behind. 

Whether  Pope's  or  Drummond's,  the  "  Essay"  was  hardly  published  before 
we  find  the  Spectator  making  use  of  it:  "  We  are  complaining  of  the  short- 
ness of  life,  and  are  yet  perpetually  hurrying  over  the  parts  of  it,  to  arrive  at 
certain  imaginary  points  of  rest.  Our  case  is  like  that  of  a  traveller  upon  the 
Alps,  who  should  fancy  that  the  top  of  the  next  hill  must  end  his  journey, 
because  it  terminates  his  ])rospect ;  but  he  no  sooner  arrives  at  it  than  he  sees 
new  ground  and  other  hills  beyond  it,  and  continues  to  travel  on  as  before." 
No  doubt  the  simile  had  passed  through  many  more  hands  before  it  finally 
reached  Rousseau,  who,  in  the  fourth  book  of  "fimile,"  likens  successful  con- 
querors to  "  those  inexperienced  travellers  who,  finding  themselves  for  the 
first  time  in  the  Alps,  imagine  that  they  can  clear  them  with  every  mountain, 
and,  when  they  have  reached  the  summit,  are  discouraged  to  see  higher  moun- 
tains in  front  of  them."  Few  could  hope  to  vie  with  Jean  Jacques  in  turning 
an  affiliated  idea  to  honor  and  advantage.  Among  these  few  Sir  Walter  Scott 
cannot  be  numbered.  In  his  "  Life  of  Napoleon"  he  compares  the  great 
Emperor  to  "the  adventurous  climber  on  the  Alps,  to  whom  the  surmounting 
the  most  dangerous  precipices  and  ascending  to  the  most  towering  peaks  only 
shows  yet  dizzier  heights  and  higher  points  of  elevation."  What  with  indif- 
ferent English,  and  the  notion  misapplied,  really  the  poet  of  the  Pelicans  is 
not  materially  worse  : 

Ocean  breaking  from  his  black  supineness 
Drowned  in  his  own  stupendous  uproar  all 
The  voices  of  the  storm  beside  :  nieanwhile, 
A  war  of  mountains  raged  upon  his  surface ; 
Mountains  each  other  swallowing,  and  again 
New  Alps  and  Andes,  from  unfathomed  valleys 
Upstaning,  joined  the  battle. 
Quite  in  another  spirit  is  the  use  made  by  Sir  John  Herschel  of  the  same 
comparison  : 


4<5  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

No  man  can  rise  from  ignorance  to  anything  deserving  to  be  called  a  complete  grasp  of  any 
considerable  branch  of  science,  without  receiving  and  discarding  in  succession  many  crude 
and  incomplete  notions,  which,  so  far  from  injuring  the  truth  in  its  ultimate  reception,  act  as 
positive  aids  to  its  attainment  by  acquainting  him  with  the  symptoms  of  an  insecure  footing 
in  his  progress.  To  reach  from  the  plain  the  loftiest  summits  of  an  Alpine  countrj',  many 
inferior  eminences  have  to  be  scaled  and  relinquished ;  but  the  labor  is  not  lost.  The  region 
is  unfolded  in  its  closer  recesses,  and  the  grand  panorama,  which  opens  from  aloft,  is  all  the 
better  understood  and  the  more  enjoyed  for  the  very  misconception  in  detail  which  it  rectifies 
and  explains. 

Altruism,  from  the  Latin  alter,  "  another,"  formed  on  the  same  basis  as  ego- 
tism from  ego,  to  indicate  unselfishness,  benevolence, — in  short,  the  very  op|)o- 
site  of  egotism.  The  altruist  rejoices  in  his  neighbor's  welfare,  and  finds  his 
highest  joy  in  advancing  it ;  the  egotist  strives  only  for  himself.  The  word 
was  first  employed  by  Comte.  and  has  been  welcomed  by  modern  agnostics  as 
offering  the  basis  for  a  new  code  of  morality,  a  new  impetus  to  right  action. 
Mr.  Frederic  Harrison,  the  leader  of  the  English  Positivists,  even  looks  upon 
it  as  an  admirable  substitute  for  the  Christian  hope  of  personal  immortality. 
Man  will  be  immortal  not  in  himself  but  in  his  actions,  and  the  consciousness 
of  this  posthumous  activity,  this  living  incorporation  with  the  glorious  future 
of  his  race,  "can  give  a  patience  and  happiness  equal  to  that  of  any  martyr 
of  theology."  Once  make  this  idea  the  basis  of  philosophy,  the  standard 
of  right  and  wrong,  and  the  centre  of  religion,  and  the  conversion  of  the 
masses  "will  prove,  perhaps,  an  easier  task  than  that  of  teaching  Greeks  and 
Romans,  Syrians  and  Moors,  to  look  forward  to  a  life  of  careless  psalmody  in 
an  immaterial  heaven."  George  Eliot's  finest  poem — indeed,  her  only  bit  of 
verse  that  is  truly  poetry,  and  not  merely  fine  thought  thrown  into  metrical 
form,  her  lines  beginning,  "Oh,  may  I  join  the  choir  invisible" — gives  magnifi- 
cent voice  to  this  feeling.     Here  are  the  concluding  lines  : 

May  I  reach 
That  purest  heaven,  be  to  other  souls 
The  cup  of  strength  in  some  great  agony. 
Enkindle  generous  ardor,  feed  pure  fove, 
Beget  the  smiles  that  have  no  cruelty, 
Be  the  sweet  presence  of  a  good  diffused, 
And  in  diffusion  ever  more  intense. 
So  shall  I  join  the  choir  invisible 
Whose  music  is  the  gladness  of  the  world. 

Of  course  the  idea  readily  lends  itself  to  satire  and  caricature.  In  a  review  of 
this  very  poem  ^Atlantic,  xxxiv.  102),  Mr.  Howells  neatly  enough  characterizes  it 
as  "  the  idea  that  we  are  to  realize  our  inborn  longing  for  immortality  in  the 
blessed  perpetuity  of  man  on  earth  ;  the  supreme  effort  of  that  craze  which, 
having  abolished  God,  asks  a  man  to  console  himself  when  he  shall  be  extinct 
WMth  the  reflection  that  somebody  else  is  living  on  towards  the  annihilation 
which  he  has  reached."  The  whole  of  W.  H.  Mallock's  "  New  Paul  and 
Virginia,  or  Positivism  on  an  Island,"  is  an  admirable  bit  of  fooling,  with 
this  doctrine  of  altruism  as  one  of  its  chief  targets.  Here  is  an  illustrative 
example,  where  the  castaways — Virginia,  the  curate,  and  the  agnostic  pro- 
fessor— are  sitting  at  lunch  on  the  island  : 

"  Yes,  my  dear  curate,"  said  the  professor,  "  what  I  am  enjoying  is  the  champagne  that 
you  drink,  and  what  you  are  enjoying  is  the  champagne  that  I  drink.  This  is  altruism  ;  this 
is  benevolence ;  this  is  the  sublime  outcome  of  enlightened  modem  thought.  The  pleasures 
of  the  table  in  themselves  are  low  and  beastly  ones ;  but  if  we  each  of  us  are  only  glad  be- 
cause the  others  are  enjoying  them,  they  become  holy  and  glorious  beyond  description." 

"  They  do,"  cried  the  curate,  rapttu-ously,  "  indeed  they  do.  I  will  drink  another  bottle  for 
your  sake.  It  is  sublime!"  he  said,  as  he  tossed  off  three  glasses.  "  It  is  significant!"  he 
said,  as  he  finished  three  more.  "  Tell  me,  my  dear,  do  I  look  significant?"  he  added,  as  he 
turned  to  Virginia,  and  suddenly  tried  to  cro^vn  the  general  bliss  by  kissing  her, 

A  familiar  jest  unconsciously  embodies  the  same  element  of  parody,  "  So 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  47 

glad,"  "So  glad  you're  glad,"  "So  glad  you're  glad  I'm  glad,"  and  so  on 
ad  mfinitum.  But,  indeed,  110  verbal  burlesque  can  exceed  the  burlesque  in 
action  which  is  afforded  by  the  sad  fate  of  the  Altruist  Society  of  St.  Louis, 
thus  recorded  by  the  New  York  Nation,  April  10,  1S90: 

Those  to  whom  experiments  for  a  remodelling  of  society  appeal  must  be  saddened  by  the 
\ast  phase  in  the  history  of  the  Altruist  Community  of  St.  Louis.  •'  We  find  it  necessary/" 
says  Mr.  Alcander  Longley,  its  late  president,  in  the  columns  of  its  organ,  the  Altruist,  "  t 


aiiuuuui-c  lu  our  readers  that  the  Altruist  Community  is  dissolved  by  mutual  consent  of  all 
the  members.  The  reasons  for  the  dissolution  are  some  of  them  as  follows.  Since  Mr.  Smith 
withdrew,  late  last  fall,  there  have  been  but  two  male  members  of  the  community,  George  E. 
Ward  and  myself,  and  our  natures  and  our  methods  of  doing  things  are  so  different  that  there 
has  been  more  or  less  discord  at  different  times  since,  and  not  at  any  time  real  harmony." 
One  of  the  causes  of  disagreement  was  Mr.  Ward's  ambition  to  be  "  appointed  or  elected  as 
one  of  the  editors  and  managers  of  the  A/truzst,"  which  Mr.  Longley  had  decided  views 
about  controlling  himself,  "  saying  that  he  would  not  o\vn  and  manage  a  paper  with  Mr.  Ward 
or  any  one  else."  This  led  to  the  calling  of  a  special  meeting  to  elect  a  president  in  Mr. 
Longley's  place,  and  the  success  of  Mr.  George  E.  W^ard  and  two  Mrs.  Wards,  who  formed  a 
majority  of  the  community.  Meanwhile,  Mr.  Longley  admits,  "  I  have,  during  our  dissensions, 
said  some  very  uncomplimentary  and  disrespectful  things  to  Mr.  Ward,  for  which  I  have  told 
him  I  am  sorry.  Among  them  was,  I  charged  him  with  being  an  anarchist  and  with  bullying  his 
wife  to  get  her  to  vote  as  he  desired  in  the  community,  and  with  having  acted  fraudulently  in 
keeping  the  record  of  the  community  as  secretarj',  and  in  the  election  of  himself  as  president, 
all  of  which  I  hereby  retract  and  apologize  for."  Mr.  Longley  and  the  remaining  members 
of  the  pentagonal  community,  except  Miss  Travis,  withdrew  when  Mr.  Ward's  journalistic 
aspirations  were  about  to  be  gratified. 

Ambiguities.  Words  are  slippery  things.  They  frequently  refuse  to  do 
their  master's  bidding,  to  express  the  meaning  that  was  in  his  niind.  Oceans 
of  blood  have  been  spilled  over  the  interpretation  of  disputed  passages  in 
the  Bible.  Oceans  of  ink  have  been  spilled  over  similar  attempts  to  get  at 
the  inner  truth  of  some  of  Shakespeare's  mystic  phrases.  There  is  no 
more  piquant  subject  of  conjecture  than  to  think  what  would  happen  if 
Shakespeare  were  recalled  from  his  grave  and  set  to  reading  that  excellent 
Variorum  Edition  of  his  works  which  contains  all  the  glosses  of  all  the  com- 
mentators. Perhaps  he  would  forget  his  own  meaning.  That  has  often  hap- 
pened to  authors.  We  all  remember  the  story  of  how  certain  reverent  pupils 
came  to  Jacob  Boehme  on  his  death-bed,  begging  that  before  he  died  he  would 
explain  to  them  a  certain  difficult  passage  in  his  work.  "My  dear  children," 
said  the  mystic,  after  puzzling  his  head  to  no  jjurpose,  "when  I  wrote  this  I 
understood  its  meaning,  and  no  doubt  the  omniscient  God  did.  He  may  still 
remember  it,  but  I  have  forgotten."  And  he  died  with  the  secret  unre- 
vealed.  Klopstock's  student  admirers  were  more  worldly  wise,  yet  they  too 
were  equally  doomed  to  disappointment.  They  ajjpealed  to  him,  not  on  his 
death-bed,  but  in  his  hale  and  vigorous  maturity.  At  Gottingen  they  had 
found  one  of  his  stanzas  unintelligible,  and  they  begged  for  more  light.  Klop- 
stock  read  the  stanza,  then  slowly  reread  it,  while  all  stared  agape.  Finally 
the  oracle  spoke  :  "  I  cannot  recollect  what  I  meant  when  I  wrote  it,  but  I 
do  remember  it  was  one  of  tlie  finest  things  I  ever  wrote,  and  you  cannot  do 
better  than  to  devote  your  lives  to  the  discovery  of  its  meaning."  Cardinal 
Newman,  in  his  old  age,  frankly  acknowledged  that  he  could  no»^  remember 
what  he  meant  when  he  penned  those  famous  lines  in  his  hymn  "  Lead,  Kindly 
Light,"— 

And  with  the  mom  those  angel  faces  smile 

Which  I  have  loved  long  since  and  lost  awhile. 

At  a  large  reception  in  London  a  Mrs.  Malaprop  in  pantaloons  edged  his 
way  up  to  Robert  Browning  and  incontinently  asked  him  to  explain  then  and 
there  a  difficult  passage  in  one  of  his  poems.  "Upon  my  word,  I  don't  know 
what  it  means,"  said  the  poet,  laughing,  as  he  closed  the  volume  thrust  into 
his  hands.  "  I  advise  you  to  ask  the  Browning  Society :  they'll  tell  you  all 
about  it."  ..---^^     I  ,'rf''^=^ 

V^  OF   THK  ^>'X 

UNIVERSITY 


48  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Hawthorne  wrote  to  Fields  on  April  13,  1854,  apropos  of  a  new  edition  of 
his  "  Mosses  from  an  Old  Manse,"  "  When  I  wrote  those  dreamy  sketches,  I 
little  thought  that  I  should  preface  an  edition  for  the  press  amidst  the  bus- 
tling life  of  a  Liverpool  consulate.  Upon  my  honor,  I  am  not  quite  sure  that 
I  entirely  comprehend  my  own  meaning  in  some  of  these  blasted  allegories; 
but  I  remember  that  I  always  had  a  meaning,  or  at  least  thought  I  had." 
When  Chamier  asked  Goldsmith  if  he  meant  tardiness  of  locomotion  by  the 
word  "slow"  in  the  first  line  of  the  "Traveller," — 

Remote,  unfriended,  melancholy,  slow, — 

Goldsmith  inconsiderately  replied,  "  Yes."  Johnson  immediately  cried  out, 
"  No,  sir,  you  do  not  mean  tardiness  of  locomotion  :  you  mean  that  sluggish- 
ness of  mind  which  comes  upon  a  man  in  solitude." 

If  such  be  the  experience  of  the  great  masters  of  language  and  literature, 
why  should  we  wonder  that  the  smaller  men,  who  have  command  of  a  smaller 
vocabulary,  and  only  an  imperfect  appreciation  of  the  laws  of  rhetoric  or 
even  of  grammar,  should  often  find  ditficulty  in  rendering  themselves  intelligi- 
ble ?  That  blunder  known  as  neglect  of  the  antecedent  may  lead  to  the  ab- 
surdest  misapj^rehension.  Here  is  a  choice  example,  selected  from  the  pro- 
ceedings of  the  New  York  Common  Council,  May  12,  1869:  "■Resolved,  That 
the  Comptroller  be  and  is  hereby  directed  to  draw  a  warrant  in  favor  of  David 
Sherrad  for  the  sum  of  $350,  to  be  in  full  compensation  for  loss  sustained  by  rea- 
son of  his  horse  stepping  into  a  hole  in  the  pavement  in  South  Street,  at  the  foot 
of  Pine  Street,  on  the  17th  of  February,  1869,  from  the  efiects  of  which  he  died." 
Here  are  many  astonishing  statements.  That  Uavid  should  have  died  from  the 
effects  of  his  horse  stepping  into  a  hole  is  a  notable  fact  in  itself.  That  he 
could  be  compensated  for  his  own  death  by  the  paltry  sum  of  three  hundred  and 
fifty  dollars  passes  belief.  Indeed,  the  very  absurdity  of  the  passage  is  its  own 
safeguard.  We  know  what  the  writer  meant,  because  what  he  said  is  so 
evidently  nonsense.  Advertisers  are  frequ|nt  sinners  in  this  respect.  Here 
is  a  sample  which  appeared  in  the  London  Times  in  February,  1862  :  "  Piano- 
forte, Cottage,  7  Octaves — the  property  of  a  Lady  leaving  England  in  remark- 
ably elegant  walnut  case  on  carved  supports.  The  tone  is  superb  and  eminently 
adapted  for  anyone  requiring  a  first-class  instrument."  The  Saturday Rez'ievj 
pounced  upon  this  gem  of  English  and  commented  upon  it  as  follows  :  "  We 
have  heard  of  Arion  riding  on  a  dolphin,  and  of  the  Wise  Men  of  Gotham  who 
went  to  sea  in  a  bowl  ;  we  have  heard  of  Helle  on  her  ram,  and  of  Europa  on 
her  bull  ;  but  we  never  before  heard  of  a  lady  designing  to  cross  the  English 
Channel  in  a  remarkably  elegant  walnut  case  with  carved  supports.  Indeed, 
we  might  go  so  far  as  to  ask  whether  the  carved  supports  are  those  of  the 
walnut  case  or  of  the  lady  herself.  In  either  case,  they  would  seem  equally 
ill  adapted  to  struggle  with  the  winds  and  the  billows." 

This  excellent  lady  finds  a  fit  parallel  in  the  advertiser  who  wanted  "a 
young  man  to  look  after  a  horse  of  the  Methodist  persuasion,"  the  Texan  who 
applied  for  "a  boss  hand  over  5000  sheep  that  can  speak  Spanish  fluently," 
the  boarding-house-keeper  who  announced  that  she  had  "  a  cottage  contain- 
ing eight  rooms  and  an  acre  of  land,"  the  maiden  or  widow  lady,  matrimoni- 
alfy  inclined,  who  advertised  for  a  husband  "  with  a  Roman  nose  having 
strong  religious  tendencies"  (did  she  wish  those  tendencies  to  be  Roman 
also  ?),  or  the  horse-owner  who  signified  his  willingness  to  sell  cheap  "  a  splen- 
did gray  horse,  calculated  for  a  charger  or  would  carry  a  lady  with  a  switch 
tail."  A  lady  so  favored  by  nature  should  certainly  make  the  acquaintance 
of  the  owner'of  a  certain  mail  phaeton  announced  for  sale  as  "  the  property 
of  a  gentleman  with  a  movable  head  as  good  as  new."  The  latter  may  have 
been  some  relation  to  the  boy  who  produced  a  fiddle  of  which  his  proud 


LITER AR  Y  CURIOSITIES. 


49 


father  asserted  that  "  he  liad  made  it  out  of  his  own  head  and  had  wood 
enough  left  for  anotlier,"  or  of  the  London  match-peddler  who  used  to  cry, 
"Buy  a  penny-worth  of  matches  from  a  poor  old  man  made  of  foreign 
wood." 

There  was  something  gruesome  in  the  furrier's  announcement  that  he  was 
prepared  to  "make  up  capes,  circulars,  etc.,  for  ladies  out  of  their  own  skins." 
But  he  was  more  than  equalled  by  the  proprietor  of  a  bone-mill  who  assured 
the  public  that  "  parties  sending  their  own  bones  to  be  ground  will  be  attended 
to  with  fidelity  and  despatch."  And  what  shall  we  say  to  the  druggist's 
printed  request  that  "  the  gentleman  who  left  his  stomach  for  analysis  will 
please  call  and  get  it  together  with  the  result".' 

A  horrid  suspicion  of  cannibalism  hangs  about  the  advertisement  of  a 
St.  Louis  man  :  "  Wanted  a  good  girl  to  cook,  one  who  will  make  a  good 
roast  or  broil  and  will  stew  v/ell."  Almost  as  barbarous  is  a  farmer  near 
Fulton,  New  York,  who  posted  this  notice  in  his  field  :  "  If  any  man's  or 
woman's  cows  or  oxen  gits  in  these  oats,  his  or  her  head  will  be  cut  off,  as 
the  case  may  be." 

We  are  moved  to  gentle  and  kindly  mirth  when  under  the  head  of  Wanted 
we  read  that  "  a  respectable  young  woman  wants  washing."  But  we  have 
grown  quite  used  to  such  journalistic  English  as  "octagonal  men's  cassimere 
pantaloons,"  or  "  woollen  children's  mitts,"  or  "  terra-cotta  ladies'  gloves,"  so 
much  so  that  we  scarcely  pause  to  smile  at  the  odd  images  they  ought  to  raise 
in  the  mind  that  is  grammatically  constituted.  So  also  with  advertisements 
for  such  articles  as  "a  keyless  ladies'  watch,"  "a  green  lady's  parasol,"  or  "a 
brown  silk  gentleman's  umbrella."  And  in  hastily  running  your  eye  over  the 
papers  you  rarely  pause  to  give  its  due  meed  of  surprise  to  the  appetite  of  a 
lady  who  wants  "  to  take  a  gentleman  for  breakfast  and  dinner,"  the  benevo- 
lence of  a  boarding-house-keeper  who  advertises  that  "single  gentlemen  are 
furnished  with  pleasant  rooms,  also  one  or  two  gentlemen  with  wives,"  or  the 
audacity  of  a  merchant  who,  in  a  free  country,  openly  gives  notice,  "  Wanted, 
a  woman  to  sell  on  commission."  But,  indeed,  anything  is  possible  in  an  age 
where  the  sign  "  Families  supplied  by  the  quart  or  gallon"  meets  you  at 
every  turn. 

A  quaint  story  is  told  of  a  member  of  the  Savage  Club  in  London.  Stand- 
ing on  the  steps  of  the  club-house,  he  was  accosted  by  a  stranger:  "Does  a 
gentleman  belong  to  your  club  with  one  eye  named  Walker.'"  "I  don't 
know,"  was  the  reply.     "  What  is  the  name  of  the  other  eye .'" 

The  67.  James  Gazette  chronicles  the  fact  that  a  blind  man  who  perambulates 
the  streets  of  Windsor  playing  sacred  music  on  an  accordion  bears  upon  his 
breast  a  placard  reading,  "  Blind  from  inflammation.  Assisted  by  Her  Majesty 
the  Queen."  He  had  once  attracted  the  compassionate  attention  of  the  queen, 
who  had  given  him  a  small  donation.  It  is  said  that  the  public  baths  in  Paris 
originally  bore  the  sign,  "  Bains  a  fond  de  bois  pour  dames  a  quatre  sous." 
This  was  objected  to  because,  strictly  construed,  it  would  mean  "wooden-bot- 
tomed baths  for  fourpenny  ladies."  So  the  sign  was  changed  to  "  Bains  \ 
quatre  sous  pour  dames  a  fond  de  bois."  But  the  hypercritics  hilariously  con- 
tended that  this  was  even  worse.  And  this  reminds  us  of  the  advertisement 
of  a  school,  which  appeared  in  the  London  Times  in  March,  1838,  and  which 
promised  that  boys  would,  for  twenty-five  guineas,  receive  various  benefits, 
and  be  "  fundamentally  instructed."  This  was  in  the  days  of  Dotheboys  Hall. 
There  was  an  ominous  sound  about  the  adverb,  and  it  is  not  to  be  wondered 
at  that  about  this  time  several  advertisements  appeared  in  the  Agony  column 
for  "youths"  and  "young  gentlemen"  who  had  run  away  from  home. 

A  shoemaker  hung  out  a  sign,  and  then  wondered  why  people  found  it  so 
amusing.  This  is  how  it  read  :  "  Don't  go  elsewhere  to  be  cheated.  Walk  in 
c  d  5 


50 


HANDY-BOOK  OF 


here."  He  was  equalled  by  the  London  firm  which  warned  everybody  against 
unscrupulous  persons  "  who  infringe  our  title  to  deceive  the  public,"  and  by 
the  Chatham  Street  establishment  which  requested  the  public  "  not  to  confound 
this  shop  with  that  of  another  swindler  who  has  established  himself  on  the  other 
side  of  the  way."  The  Irish  advertiser  was  more  alarmingly  frank  when  he 
inserted  a  "  want"  for  "  a  gentleman  to  undertake  the  sale  of  a  Patent  Medi- 
cine.    The  advertiser  guarantees  it  will  be  profitable  to  the  undertaker." 

A  curious  instance  of  the  difficulty  of  making  a  few  words  convey  an  explicit 
and  definite  meaning  is  furnished  by  the  repeated  failures  of  postal  authorities 
who  wished  to  inform  the  public  that  they  might  write  anything  they  chose 
on  one  side  of  a  postal  card,  but  on  the  other  side  must  confine  themselves 
to  the  mere  address  of  the  person.  Uncle  Sam  tried  six  times,  in  as  many 
different  issues,  before  he  was  satisfied  with  the  result : 

Nothing  but  the  address  can  be  placed  on  this  side. 

Nothing  but  the  address  to  be  on  this  side. 

Write  only  the  address  on  this  side. 

Write  the  address  only  on  this  side,  the  message  on  the  other. 

Write  the  address  on  this  side,  the  message  on  the  other. 

This  side  for  address  only. 

The  first  two  were  evidently  rejected  for  their  clumsiness.  The  third,  fourth, 
and  fifth  seem  to  limit  the  public  to  writing,  and  indirectly  forbid  printmg  or 
lithographing.  The  fourth,  moreover,  is  hopelessly  ambiguous.  Accurately 
construed,  it  means  that  the  address  may  be  written  on  one  side  only.  Any- 
thing else  may  be  written  on  that  side.  But  the  address  must  not  be  repeated 
on  the  other. 

Canada  says : 

The  address  to  be  written  on  this  side. 

Great  Britain  : 

The  address  only  to  be  written  on  this  side. 

Here  the  same  difficulty  appears  in  regard  to  printing  or  lithographing  the 
address.     They  manage  these  things  better  in  France  : 

Ce  cote  est  exclusivement  reserve  i  I'adresse. 
Yet  Belgium  is  not  satisfied.     Apparently  it  thinks  there  is  tautology  in 
"exclusively  reserved,"  and  drops  the  adverb: 

Ce  cote  est  reserve  i  I'adresse. 
Zijde  voo  het  adres  voorbehouden. 

Luxemburg,  in  a  still  more  critical  mood,  holds  that  the  French  ought  to 
write  more  correct  French  than  they  do,  and  places  "exclusivement"  after  the 
verb :  .,.:.,.  j 

Ce  cote  est  reserve  exclusivement  a  1  adresse. 
Diese  Seite  ist  nur  fiir  die  Adresse  bestimmt. 

Russia  is  of  the  same  mind  : 

Cote  reserve  exclusivement  i  I'adresse. 
Italy  uses  no  ambiguous  word  : 

Su  questo  lato  non  deve  scriversi  che  il  solo  indirizzo. 
Chili's  wish  is  stated  with  equal  clearness  : 

En  este  lado  debe  escriverse  unicamente  la  direccion. 
Amende  Honorable.  In  modern  usage,  especially  newspaper  usage, 
this  phrase  signifies  a  manly  apology  and  acknowledgment  of  a  fault,  accom- 
panied by  such  reparation  as  may  be  needed.  But  historically  the  amende 
honorable  was  a  very  different  affair.  It  was  in  fact  in  ancient  French  law  a 
disgraceful  punishment,  inflicted  for  the  most  part  on  offenders  against  public 
decency.     The  offender  was  stripped  to  his  shirt,  when  the  hangman  put  a 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  51 

rope  about  his  neck  and  a  taper  in  his  hand,  and  then  led  hin".  to  the  court, 
where  the  culprit  asked  pardon  of  God,  of  the  king,  and  of  the  court.  It 
was  abolished  in  1791,  reintroduced  in  cases  of  sacrilege  in  1826,  and  finally 
abrogated  in  1830. 

American.  "WTio  reads  an  American  book?  This  famous  query 
was  originally  propounded  by  Sydney  Smith  in  a  notice  of  Adam  Seybert's 
"Statistical  Annals  of  the  United  States"  {Edinburgh  Review,  January,  1820), 
included  in  Sydney  Smith's  collected  Essays.  The  query  created  a  storm 
of  sufficiently  humorous  indignation  on  this  side  of  the  Atlantic,  and  was 
quoted  and  requoted  only  to  be  furiously  combated  in  every  Yankee-doodle 
article  that  attempted  to  blazon  forth  the  literary  glories  of  the  New  World. 
Of  recent  years,  since  our  literary  men  have  really  begun  to  be  a  glory  to  the 
land  of  their  birth,  since  the  "American  Wordsworth"  and  the""  American 
Milton"  and  the  "  American  Goldsmith"  have  been  succeeded  by  American 
writers  sufficiently  native  and  original  to  stand  on  their  feet,  and  to  be  them- 
selves, and  not  the  fancied  shadows  of  foreigners, — since  that  time  the  query 
has  been  suffered  to  go  the  same  road  as  Father  Bouhours's  equally  meniorable 
question,  "Can  a  German  have  wit  [esprit]  ?"  Here  is  the  full  context  of  the 
question,  which  occurs  at  the  conclusion  of  the  article.  It  will  be  seen  that 
not  only  the  literature  but  also  the  arts  and  sciences  of  our  forefathers  are 
attacked.  But  it  was  chiefly  the  literary  men  who  raised  their  voices  in  indig- 
nant protest : 

'Such  is' the  land  of  Jonathan, — and  thus  has  it  been  governed.  In  his  honest  endeavors  to 
better  his  situation,  and  in  his  manly  purpose  of  resisting  injury  and  insult,  we  most  cordially 
sympathize.  We  hope  he  will  always  continue  to  watch  and  suspect  his  government  as  he 
now  does, — remembering  that  it  is  the  constant  tendency  of  those  intrusted  with  power  to  con- 
ceive that  they  enjoy  it  by  their  own  merits  and  for  their  own  use,  and  not  by  delegation  and 
for  the  benefit  of  others.  Thus  far  we  are  the  friends  and  admirers  of  Jonathan.  But  he  must 
not  grow  vain  and  ambitious,  or  allow  himself  to  be  dazzled  by  that  galaxy  of  epithets  by  which 
his  orators  and  newspaper  scribblers  endeavor  to  persuade  their  supporters  that  they  are  the 
greatest,  the  most  refined,  the  most  enlightened,  and  the  most  moral  people  upon  earth.  The 
effect  of  this  is  unspeakably  ludicrous  on  this  side  of  the  Atlantic, — and  even  on  the  other,  we 
should  imagine,  must  be  rather  humiliating  to  the  reasonable  part  of  the  population.  The 
Americans  are  a  brave,  industrious,  and  acute  people  ;  but  they  have  hitherto  given  no  indica- 
tions of  genius,  and  made  no  approaches  to  the  heroic,  either  in  their  morality  or  character. 
They  are  but  a  recent  offset  indeed  from  England,  and  should  make  it  their  chief  boast,  for 
many  generations  to  come,  that  they  are  sprung  from  the  same  race  with  Bacon  and  Shake- 
speare and  Newton.  Considering  their  numbers,  indeed,  and  the  favorable  circumstances  in 
which  they  have  been  placed,  they  have  yet  done  marvellously  little  to  assert  the  honor  of  such 
a  descent,  or  to  show  that  their  English  blood  has  been  exalted  or  refined  by  their  republican 
training  and  institutions.  Their  Franklins,  and  Washingtons,  and  all  the  other  sages  and  heroes 
of  their  Revolution,  were  bom  and  bred  subjects  of  the  King  of  England, — and  not  among  the 
freest  or  most  valued  of  his  subjects.  And,  since  the  period  of  their  separation,  a  far  greater 
proportion  of  their  statesmen  and  artists  and  political  writers  have  been  foreigners  than  ever 
occurred  before  in  the  history  of  any  civilized  and  educated  people.  During  the  thirty  or  forty 
years  of  their  independence,  they  have  done  absolutely  nothing  for  the  sciences,  for  the  arts, 
for  literatiu-e,  or  even  for  the  statesman-like  stydies  of  politics  or  political  economy.  Confining 
ourselves  to  our  own  country,  and  to  the  period  that  has  elapsed  since  'hey  had  an  inde- 
pendent existence,  we  would  ask.  Where  are  their  Foxes,  their  Burkes,  their  Sheridans,  their 
Windhams,  their  Homers,  their  Wilberforces  ? — where  their  Arkwrights,  their  Watts,  their 
Davys? — their  Robertsons,  Blairs,  Smiths,  Stewarts,  Paleys,  and  Malthuses? — their  Porsons, 
Parrs,  Bumeys,  or  Blomfields? — their  Scotts,  Campbells,  Byrons,  Moores,  or  Crabbes? — their 
Siddonses,  Kembles,  Keans,  or  O'Neils? — their  Wilkies,  Laurences,  Chantr>s?^r  their 
parallels  to  the  hundred  other  names  that  have  spread  themselves  over  the  world  from  our  little 
island  in  the  course  of  the  last  thirty  years,  and  blest  or  delighted  mankind  by  their  works, 
ini'entions,  or  examples  ?  In  so  far  as  we  know,  there  is  no  such  parallel  to  be  produced  from 
the  whole  annals  of  this  self-adulating  race.  In  the  four  quarters  of  the  globe,  who  reads  an 
American  book?  or  goes  to  an  American  play?  or  looks  at  an  American  picture  or  statue? 
What  does  the  world  yet  owe  to  American  physicians  or  surgeons?  What  new  substances  have 
their  chemists  discovered  ?  or  what  old  ones  have  they  .analyzed  ?  What  new  constellations 
have  been  discovered  by  the  telescopes  of  Americans  ?  What  have  they  done  in  mathematics  ? 
Who  drinks  out  of  American  glasses  ?  or  eats  from  American  plates  ?  or  wears  American  coats 


52  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

or  gowns?  or  sleeps  in  American  blankets?  Finally,  under  which  of  the  old  tyrannical  gov- 
ernments of  Europe  is  every  sixth  man  a  slave,  whom  his  fellow-creatures  may  buy,  and  sell, 
and  I 


Amicus  Plato,  sed  magis  arnica  Veritas  (L.,  "  Plato  is  dear  to  me, 
but  truth  is  still  dearer").  This  phrase  is  a  gradual  evolution  from  a  passage 
in  the  "  Phaedo"  of  Plato  (ch.  91),  where  Socrates  is  reported  as  saying  to  his 
disciples,  "I  would  ask  you  to  be  thinking  of  the  truth,  and  not  of  Socrates  ; 
agree  with  me  if  I  seem  to  you  to  be  speaking  the  truth  ;  or,  if  not,  withstand 
me  might  and  main,  that  I  may  not  deceive  you  as  well  as  myself  in  my  en- 
thusiasm." Paraphrasing  this  sentiment,  Aristotle  was  wont  to  say,  "  Socrates 
is  dear  to  me,  but  the  truth  is  still  dearer," — this  on  the  authority  of  his 
biographer  Ammonius,  who  wrote  in  Latin,  and  whose  Latinized  version  became 
proverbial.  But  in  course  of  time  "  Plato"  was  substituted  for  "  Socrates," 
and  so  the  phrase  comes  down  to  us.  Cicero  does  not  seem  to  have  accepted 
the  lesson  of  the  maxim,  for  he  expressly  says,  "  Errare  malo  cum  Platone 
quam  cum  istis  vera  sentire"  ("  I  would  rather  err  with  Plato  than  think 
rightly  with  these"), — i.e.,  the  Pythagoreans.  And  in  this  very  saying,  curi- 
ously enough,  he  endorsed  a  Pythagorean  rather  than  a  Platonic  method.  For 
while  Plato  evidently  approved  of  Socrates's  preference  of  the  truth  over  the 
individual,  the  disciples  of  Pythagoras  adopted  as  their  motto,  "  The  master 
has  said  it."  Cicero's  sentiment  was  echoed  in  the  modern  line, — 
Better  to  err  with  Pope  than  shine  with  Pye. 

Ampersand  (also  ampusand,  amperzand,  etc.),  an  old  name  for  &,  for- 
merly 6^,  the  contracted  sign  a{ et  =  and.  The  name  is  a  corruption  of  "and 
per  se  and," — i.e.,  "&  by  itself  =  and,"  the  old  way  of  spelling  and  naming 
the  character.  Similarly,  A,  I,  O,  when  representing  words  and  not  merely 
letters,  were  read  in  spelling-lessons,  ".^  per  se^,"  etc.  These  were  similarly 
corrupted  into  apersey,  etc.  The  amateur  etymologist  has  done  some  ex- 
cellent guessing  at  the  derivation  of  the  word.  Here  is  an  example  :  "  The 
sign  &  is  said  to  be  properly  called  Emperor's  hand,  from  having  been  first 
invented  by  some  imperial  personage,  but  by  wliom  deponent  saith  not." — 
The  Monthly  Packet,  vol.  xxx.  p.  448. 

Anagram  (Cr.  uvaypaii(ia  ;  uvu,  up,  or  bac/i,  and  yfiufi/ia,  a  letter).  A  re- 
arrangement of  the  letters  of  a  name,  a  word,  or  a  sentence.  In  order  to  be 
perfect,  the  result  should  be  a  word  or  words  reacting  upon  the  original  as  a 
comment,  a  sarcasm,  a  definition,  or  a  revelation.  Thus,  the  pessimist  re- 
joices to  find  that  if  the  component  letters  of  live  be  committed  to  the 
smelting-pot  of  the  anagram,  they  may  reissue  either  as  evil  or  vile ;  the  non- 
argumentative  mind  smiles  calmly  when  logica  (logic)  yields  caligo  (dark- 
ness); and  the  conservative  is  delighted  to  find  the  sinister  epithets  love  to  ruin 
wrapped  up  in  revolution  and  rare  mad  frolic  in  radical  reform.  Those 
who  attach  themselves  scrupulously  to  the  rules  of  the  anagram  permit  no 
change,  omission,  or  addition  of  letters  therein.  Others,  less  timid,  take  an 
almost  poetical  license,  and,  besides  occasionally  omitting  or  adding  a  letter, 
think  themselves  justified  in  writing,  wiien  they  find  such  a  change  desirable 
and  that  the  resulting  sense  falls  aptly,  e  for  a,  v  for  w,  s  for  z,  c  for  k,  and 
vice  versa.  Nevertheless,  the  orthodox  anagrammatist  frowns  upon  this 
heretical  license  and  characterizes  its  results  as  impure. 

Although  the  anagram  has  fallen  upon  evil  days,  and  is  now  relegated  to  the 
children's  column,  along  with  the  riddle,  the  enigma,  and  the  rebus,  it  once 
boasted  a  high  estate  and  taxed  the  reverence  of  the  wise,  the  learned,  and 
the  devout.  The  Hebrews  held  that  there  was  something  divine  in  this  species 
of  word-torture.  Nay,  some  Rabbins  assert  that  the  esoteric  law  given  to 
Moses,  to  be  handed  down  in   the  posterity  of  certain   seventy  men,   and 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  53 

therefore  called  Cabbala,  or  traditional,  was  largely  a  volume  of  alpha- 
betary  revolution  or  anagrammatism.  The  Greeks,  and  especially  the  scho- 
liasts of  the  Middle  Ages,  echoed  the  opinions  of  the  Hebrews,  believing  that 
there  was  a  mystic  correspondence  between  things  and  their  names,  and  that 
by  the  study  of  names,  by  the  intense  consideration  and  the  turning  inside-out 
of  the  w's  and  m's  of  which  they  are  composed,  these  correspondences  might 
be  evolved  and  nature  made  to  flash  out  her  secrets.  Men  sought  in  one 
another's  names,  and  in  the  names  of  things  of  high  public  import,  those  pro- 
phetic indications  of  character,  of  duty,  or  of  destiny  which  might  possibly 
lurk  in  them. 

Lycojihron,  the  father  of  the  anagram  in  Greece,  and  one  of  the  "  Pleiads" 
of  the  court  of  Ptolemy  Philadelphus,  is  said  to  have  earned  high  favor  with  his 
prince  by  finding  the  words  utto  ^eAlto^  (out  of  honey)  in  the  name  Ilro/if/iaiof, 
and  the  words  lov  "Hpaf  {violet  of  yiino)  in  'hpoLvm],  the  name  of  Ptolemy's 
queen.  Both  these  anagrams  are  exact  or  pure,  and,  as  such,  are  the  earliest 
examples  that  have  survived  to  our  day.  Another  famous  historical  anagram 
refers  to  the  siege  of  Troy  by  Alexander.  That  monarch  was  about  to  aban- 
don the  enterprise  in  despair,  when  he  had  a  dream  of  a  Satyr  leaping  before 
him,  whom  eventually,  after  many  elusions,  he  caught.  This  dream  his 
sages  converted  into  a  prophetic  anagram:  "  Surupof"  (Satyr),  said  they, 
"why,  certainly,  aa  Ti'pog"  (Tyre  is  thine).  This  put  heart  in  the  king,  and 
Tyre  was  taken.  But,  though  good  in  its  way,  this  is  one  of  the  illegitimate 
forms  of  anagram,  arising  not  from  the  rearrangement  or  transposition  of 
letters,  but  only  from  their  redivision  or  resyllabification.  Another  instance 
is  that  of  Constantine  III.,  son  of  the  Emperor  Heraclius,  who  on  the  eve 
of  battle  dreamed  that  he  took  the  way  through  Thessalonica  into  Macedonia. 
Relating  the  dream  to  one  of  his  courtiers,  the  latter  divided  Thessalonica 
into  syllables,  finding  in  it,  "  Leave  the  victory  to  another  :" 

QeGaaXoviKrjv  :  Gef  aXku  vIktjv. 
The  emperor  took  no  notice  of  the  warning,  and  was  badly  beaten  by  the 
enemy.     But  this  might  rather  be  called  a  species  of  paronomasia  or  pun. 
Patriot  resolved  into  Pat-riot  is  an  even  poorer  instance. 

The  Romans  seem  to  have  despised  this  sort  of  literary  trifling.  Latin 
anagrams  are  generally  of  modern  origin.  Yet  among  these  are  some  of  the 
best  anagrams  ever  made,  notably  that  admirable  one  which  discovers  in 
Pilate's  question,  Quid  est  Veritas  .?  (What  is  truth  ?)  its  own  answer.  Est  vir 
qui  eldest  (It  is  the  man  before  you).  A  famous  cento  of  Latin  anagrams  was 
made  in  honor  of  young  Stanislaus  Leczinski,  afterwards  King  of  Poland.  On 
his  return  from  his  travels,  all  the  family  of  Leczinski  assembled  at  Lissa,  to 
celebrate  his  arrival  with  appropriate  festivities.  The  most  ingenious  compli- 
ment of  all  was  paid  by  the  College  of  Lissa.  A  heroic  dance  was  presented 
by  thirteen  young  warriors,  each  holding  a  shield  on  which  was  engraved  one 
of  the  thirteen  letters  in  the  name  Domus  Lescinia.  The  evolutions  were  so 
arranged  that  at  each  turn  the  row  of  bucklers  formed  different  anagrams  in 
the  following  order  : 

First.         Domus  Lescinia. 

Second.     Ades  incolumis. 

Third.        Omnis  es  lucida. 

Fourth.     Omne  sis  lucida. 

Fifth.         Mane  sidus  loci. 

Sixth.         Sis  columna  dei. 

Seventh.   I,  scande  solium. 
The  poet  Jean  Dorat,  sometimes  known  as  the  French  Lycophron,  found  two 
notable  anagrams  in  the  Latinized  form  of  his  own  name,  Joannes  Auratus  : 


54  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Ars  vivet  annosa  (My  art  will  live  long),  and  Ars  en  nova  vatis  (Behold  the  new 
art  of  the  bard).  The  Latin  language,  indeed,  lends  itself  readily  to  the  ana- 
gram, being  free  from  the  ugly  assortment  of  J's,  w's,  and  jy's  that  disfigure 
most  modern  tongues  and  prove  so  great  a  stumbling-block  in  the  way  of  the 
word-poser.  No  means  so  ready  for  writing  up  a  friend  or  writing  down  an 
enemy  as  that  of  turning  Smith  into  Smithius  and  proving  that  Smithius  is 
the  verbal  equivalent  either  for  spirit  of  health  or  goblin  damned.  Thus, 
Calvin,  wroth  at  the  hearty  licentiousness  of  Rabelais,  anagrammatized  the 
Latin  form  Rabel^sius  into  J?di>ie  Lcesus  (Bitten-mad).  This  was  rash  in 
Calvin,  for,  of  all  things  on  earth,  to  think  of  fighting  Rabelais  with  his  own 
weapons,  or,  for  that  matter,  with  any  weapons,  must  needs  be  the  most  hope- 
less. And  so  it  proved.  All  Europe  lay  still  and  breathless  waiting  the  sure 
response.  'Twas  the  calm  before  the  thunderstorm.  It  came  at  last.  "So/ 
am  Rabie  Lcesus,  Master  John  .-'  And  pray  what  are  you  t  Let  me  see  :  Cal- 
vin ;  Jan  Citl ;  yes,  that's  about  it !"  And  over  Europe  rushed  the  jest,  as 
it  had  been  a  scavenger  in  the  sky ;  and  Calvin,  we  fancy,  did  not  come  out 
for  a  week. 

Perhaps,  even  in  the  time  of  the  Reformation,  when  the  anagram  was 
largely  laid  under  contribution  for  purposes  of  billingsgate  and  satire,  no 
finer  controversial  use  was  ever  found  for  it  than  in  that  example  which  sought 
to  turn  the  very  title  of  the  Pope  into  a  denial  of  his  claims,  as  thus  :  SuPRE- 
Mus  PoNTiFEX  RoMANUS  :  O  tioii  super  Petrani  fixus  (O  !  not  founded  upon 
Peter). 

In  the  sixteenth  and  seventeenth  centuries,  anagrams  were  quite  in  fashion 
as  pen-names.  Thus,  Calvinus  (Calvin)  became  ^/«//;//«,  FRANgois  Rabe- 
lais, Alcofribas  N^asier,  and  AoosriNO  Coltelini,  Ostilio  Contalegni.  More 
modern  examples  are  Horace  Walpole,  Onuphris  Mtiralto,  the  very  imperfect 
anagram  under  which  he  published  his  "  Castle  of  Otranto,"  and  the  equally 
imperfect  Bryan  Waller  Procter,  Barry  Cornwall,  Poet.  But  the  most 
famous  case,  and  one  in  which  the  anagram  has  entirely  overshadowed  the 
original  name,  is  furnished  by  Voltaire.  This  was  not  the  family  cognomen  of 
the  great  Frenchman,  but  simply  an  anagram  of  his  right  name,  Arouet,  with 
the  two  letters  L.  j.  {le  jeune,  or  "  the  younger")  superadded, — an  anagram 
concocted  by  himself  in  a  freak  or  deliberately,  and  so  familiarized  by  his  use 
of  it  that  he  was  known  thereafter  universally  as  Voltaire,  and  will  be  so  for- 
ever. 

One  of  the  most  amusing  applications  of  the  anagram  is  that  on  Lady 
Eleanor  Davies,  wife  of  Sir  John  Davies,  Attorney-General  in  Ireland  to 
King  James  I.  This  lady,  a  fanatic  who  fancied  herself  possessed  by  the  pro- 
phetic spirit  of  Daniel,  grounded  her  belief  on  an  anagram  which  she  made 
on  her  name,  viz.,  Eleanor  Davies — Reveal,  O  Daniel!  And  though  the 
anagram  had  too  much  by  an  /  and  too  little  by  an  s,  yet  she  found  Daniel 
and  Reveal  in  it,  and  that  served  her  turn.  Whereupon  she  pestered  the 
world  with  her  prophecies,  gaining  great  repute  among  the  unlearned  by  a 
lucky  guess  here  and  there,  until  a  prediction  of  the  approaching  death  of 
Archbishop  Laud  caused  her  arrest.  When  brought  before  the  Court  of 
High  Commission,  all  appeals  to  reason  and  to  Scripture  proved  futile.  At 
last  one  of  the  deans  seized  a  pen  and  hit  upon  this  excellent  anagram  :  Dame 
Eleanor  Davies,  A^ever  so  mad  a  ladie.  The  unhappy  woman,  finding  her 
own  argument  turned  against  her,  renounced  all  claims  to  supernatural 
powers. 

This  story  is  related  with  much  gusto  by  Heylin  in  his  "  Cyprianus  Angli- 
canus"  (1719).  Doubtless  it  is  true  in  all  essential  features,  but,  as  the  device  on 
which  the  lady  founded  her  pretensions  had  been  known  for  years,  it  seems 
more  than  likely  that  the  acute  lawyer  invented  the  shell  which  blew  up  her 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  55 

ladyship  in  the  quiet  of  his  own   chamber,  and  chose   the   most  dramatic 
moment  for  exploding  it. 

Though  the  art  of  the  anagrammatist  may  be  despised  as  puerile,  none  can 
deny  Its  difficulty.  Where  the  letters  are  few  the  field  is  indeed  circumscribed 
within  comparatively  easy  limits  of  transposition  ;  but  the  possible  changes  on 
a  large  series  of  letters  exceed  all  but  a  mathematician's  belief. 

A  bare  dozen  of  letters,  for  e.xample,  will  admit  of  more  than  729,000,000 
transpositions.  Literally,  it  is  mind  on  the  one  hand  against  chaotic' infinity 
on  the  other.  The  patience  of  Penelope  herself  would  be  exhausted  in  such 
assiduous  doing  and  undoing  as  the  process  seems  to  require.  The  vexation 
of  oft-repeated  effort  and  proximate  success  resulting  in  fruitless  labor  is  racily 
expressed  by  Camden  :  "  Some  have  been  seen  to  bite  their  pens,  scratch 
their  heads,  bend  their  brows,  bite  their  lips,  beat  their  board,  tear  their 
paper,  when  they  were  fair  for  somewhat  and  caught  nothing  herein."  Ad- 
dison, who  numbers  anagrams  among  his  examples  of  false  wit,  tells  with 
unnecessary  jubilance  the  story  of  a  lover  who,  having  retired  from  the  world 
to  wrestle  anagrammatically  with  his  mistress's  name,  emerged  after  several 
months  pale  and  worn,  but  triumphant.  His  chagrin,  however,  at  finding 
that  his  lady's  name  was  not  what  it  appeared  to  be  on  the  surface,  not  Chum- 
ley,  in  short,  but  Cholmondeley,  was  so  great  that  he  went  mad  on  the 
spot,  and  finished  in  Bedlam  what  he  had  commenced  in  Bceotia. 

P^rom  all  which  it  may  readily  be  understood  why  it  is  that  after  centuries  of 
endeavor  so  few  really  good  anagrams  have  been  rolled  down  to  us.  One 
may  assert  that  all  the  really  superb  anagrams  now  extant  might  be  contained 
in  a  pill-box.  Such  a  pill-box  we  shall  aim  to  present  to  our  readers.  And 
first  we  offer  an  alphabetical  group  of  the  aptest  anagrams  on  places,  things, 
and  persons  in  general : 

Astronomers  :  Moon-Starers. 

Catalogues  :  Got  as  a  due. 

Christianity  :  /  cry  that  I  sin. 

CoNGREGATiONALiST :   Got  scattt  religion. 

Crinoline:  Inner  coil. 

Democratical:  Comical  trade. 

Determination  :  /  mean  to  rend  it. 

Elegant  ;  Neat  leg. 

French  Revolution  :   Violence  run  forth. 

Funeral:  Real  fun. 

Gallantries  :  All  great  sins. 

Impatient  :   Tim  in  a  pet. 

Is  Pity  Love.':  Positively. 

La  Sainte  Alliance  :  La  Sainte  Canaille. 

Lav^tyers  :  Sly  ware. 

Matrimony:  hito  my  arm. 

Melodrama  :  Made  moral. 

Midshipman  :  Mind  his  map. 

Misanthrope:  Spare  him  not. 

Old  England  :  Go'den  Land. 

Paradise  Lost  :  Reap  sad  toils. 

Parishioners  :  /  hire  parsons. 


56  .    HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Penitentiary  :  Nay,  I  repent  it. 

Poor  House:  O  sour  hope! 

Potentates  :  Ten  Teapots ! 

Presbyterian  :  Best  in  prayer. 

Punishment:  Nine  thumps. 

Soldiers  :  Lo  !  I  dress. 

Spanish  Marriages  :  Rash  games  in  Paris. 

Surgeon  :  Go,  Nurse  ! 

Sweetheart  :   There  we  sat. 

Telegraphs  :  Great  helps. 

Universal  Suffrage:  Guess  a  fearful  ruin. 
A  well-sustained  effort  in  this  word-conjuring  is  the  following  specimen  : 
"  How  much  there  is  in  a  word  !  Monastery,  says  I  :  what,  that  makes  nasty  Rome  ;  and 
■when  I  looked  at  it  again  it  was  evidenily  more  nasty,— a.  very  vile  place  or  mean  sty.  Ay, 
monster,  says  I,  you  are  found  out.  What  monster?  said  the  Pope.  What  monster?  says  I. 
Why,  your  own  image  there,  stone  Mary.  That,  he  replied,  is  my  one  star,  my  Stella  Maris, 
my  treasure,  my  guide  !  No,  said  I,  you  should  rather  say  my  treason.  Vet  no  arms,  said 
he.  No,  quoth  I,  quiet  may  suit  best,  as  long  as  you  have  no  mastery,  I  mean  money  arts. 
No,  said  he  again,  those  are  'Jory  means ;  and  Dan,  tny  senator,  will  baffle  them.  I  don't 
know  that,  said  I,  but  I  think  one  might  make  no  >nean  story  oui  of  this  one  word  monastery." 

And  here,  still  in  alphabetical  order,  are  some  of  the  best  and  most  famous 
anagrams  that  have  been  made  upon  the  names  of  celebrated  individuals. 

John  Abernethy  :  Johnny  the  Bear.  A  peculiarly  appropriate  epithet  for 
this  terror  of  hypochondriacal  !)atients, — this  physician  of  curt  speech,  crusty 
presence,  and  bluff  add res.s.  "Has  any  one,"  asks  Southey,  "who  knows 
Johnny  the  bear,  heard  his  name  thus  anagrammatized  without  a  smile  ?  We 
may  be  sure  he  smiled  and  growled  at  the  same  time  when  he  heard  it 
himself." 

Sir  Francis  Bacon,  Lord  Keeper  :  /s  bom  and  elect  for  a  rich  Speaker. 
So  it  is  usually  given,  as  an  anagram  by  one  Tash,  a  contemporary  of  the 
great  man,  but,  on  testing  it,  we  can  make  out  only,  is  born  and  elec  for  a  ric 
spek, — the  original  being  four  letters  short.  Thi.s  shows  the  necessity  for 
verifying  reputed  anagrams.  It  is  a  sad  thought  that  many  may  be  passing 
unchallenged  which  are  but  impostures.  In  this  case,  however,  deep  and  sus- 
tained investigation  has  enabled  us  to  mend  the  anagram.  It  must  have  been 
given  forth  thus :  SiR  Francis  Bacon,  the  Lord  Keeper  :  Is  born  and 
elect  for  rich  Speaker. 

John  Bunyan  :  Nu  honyin  a  B.  Execrable  !  one  would  naturally  exclaim, 
but,  as  it  is  John's  own  work,  we  must  be  reverently  dumb. 

General  Butler:  Geitl.  real  brute. 

Thomas  Carlyle  :  Cry  shame  to  all :  or,  Mercy,  lash  a  lot :  or,  A  lot  cry, 
"Lash  me!"  Just  after  the  death  of  the  sage  and  prior  to  the  publication  of 
his  Reminiscence.s,  the  anagram  a  calm,  holy  rest  was  hailed  as  admirably 
significant.     An  enemy  hath  found  in  the  same  letters,  clearly  to  sham. 

Carolus  Re.x  :  Cras  ero  lux  (To-morrow  1  shall  be  light).  An  anagram 
which  Charles  II.  is  said  to  have  left  written  on  one  of  the  windows  of  King's 
Newton  Hall,  in  Derbyshire. 

Princess  Charlotte  Augusta  of  Wales:  P.  C.  Her  attgnst  race  is 
lost,  O  fatal  7iezi)s!  An  anagram  in  which  British  regret  over  the  decease  of 
the  Princess  Charlotte  enshrined  itself. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  57 

Jaques  Clement,  the  assassin  of  Henry  III.  of  France,  Qui  est  ce  tnal 
ne?  (Who  is  this  ill-born  person?).  Very  good  from  the  point  of  view  of 
the  believer  in  the  divine  right  of  kings,  but  thrown  utterly  in  the  shade  by 
the  superiority  of  its  corollary:  Freue  Jacquks  Clement:  Ccst  Icufer  qui 
m\i  cree,  (It  was  hell  that  created  me),  which  may  be  taken  as  an  answer  to 
the  first. 

Richard  Cobden  :  Rich  corn,  bedad ! 

Charles  Dickens  :  Cheer  sick  lands. 

Disraeli  :  /  lead,  sir.  A  Tory  anagram,  of  course.  The  Whigs  resolve 
the  name  into  idle  airs.  But  the  latter  found  their  best  opportunity  in  the 
full  title,  Disraeli,  Earl  of  Beaconsfield  :  Self -fooled,  can  he  bear  it? 

John  Dryden  :  Rhino  deny'd, — which  was  Glorious  John's  life-long  com- 
plaint,  in  his  own  spelling,  too. 

Phineas  Fletcher:  Hath  Spencer  life?  A  very  good  anagram,  for  in 
the  age  after  Spenser's  death,  Phineas  Fletcher  had  more  of  his  manner  and 
spirit  than  almost  any  other  poet. 

Gladstone  :  G  leads  not.  So  cried  the  exultant  Tory  in  apt  opposition  ta 
the  anagram  he  had  coined  out  of  the  name  of  his  great  rival :  Disraeli  : 
/  lead,  sir.  The  Whig  rather  weakly  remonstrated  that  Gladstone  doesn't 
lag.  But  though  the  Whig  achieved  small  success  with  the  family  cognomen, 
he  reaped  vast  and  varied  results  with  the  full  name,  William  Ewart 
Gladstone:  A  tnan  to  ivield  great  wills;  or,  Go,  administrate  law  well;  or, 
ni  waste  710  glad  war-time ;  or,  G.,  a  weird  tnafi  we  all  list  to  :  or,  finally, 
the  dubious  and  perplexing  statement.  Allowing  me  T.  glad  Erin  waits. 

Sir  Edmundbury  Godfrey  :  I fynd  murdered  by  rogues,  and  By  Rome's  rude 
finger  die.  These  anagrams,  uncouth  and.Jmperfect  as  they  are,  were  cir«- 
culated  shortly  after  the  death  of  Godfrey,  the  magistrate  who,  it  will  be 
remembered,  had  taken  Titus  Oates's  deposition  in  regard  to  the  pretended 
Popish  plot,  and  on  October  17,  1678,  had  been  found  murdered  on  the  south 
side  of  Primrose  Hill. 

Henry  Hallam  :  Real  manly  H.  H. 

Randle  Holmes  :  Lo!  men's  herald.  This  very  apt  anagram  was  prefixed 
to  Holmes's  well-known  heraldic  work,  "The  Academy  of  the  Armory,"  1688. 

Selina,  Countess  of  Huntingdon  :  See!  sound  faith  clings  to  no  nun. 

Douglas  Jerrold  -.'Sure,  a  droll  dog! 

Henry  Wadsworth  Longfellow:   Won  half  the  A^ew  World's  glory. 

Martin  Luther  :  Lehrt  in  armuth  (He  teaches  in  poverty).  The  Latinized 
form  of  the  name  yields  even  more  remarkable  results.  For  example,  Mar- 
TINUS  Lutherus,  Vir  multa  stt-uens  (The  man  who  builds  up  much),  and  Ter 
mafris  vulnus  (Three  wounds  to  the  mother, — church  is  of  course  understood). 
D.  Martinus  Lutherus  :  Ut  turris  das  lumen  (Like  a  tower  you  give  light). 
But  most  apt  of  all  is  the  form  Doctor  Martinus  Lutherus  :  ORom,  Luther 
ist  der  Schwan  (O  Rome,  Luther  is  the  Swan),  an  allusion  to  John  Huss's 
prophecy  that  a  swan  should  arise  from  the  blood  of  the  goose  (IIuss). 

Thomas  Babington  Macaulay  -.Ota  big  mouth,  a  manly  Cantab's. 

Marie  Antoinette:   Tear  it,  men,  I  atone. 

Thomas  Moore  :  Homo  amor  est  (Man  is  love). 

Napoleon.  The  anagrams  made  on  or  about  the  great  Corsican  are  num- 
berless. Thus,  when  he  came  into  power,  the  words  La  Revolution  Fran- 
gAiSE  were  twisted  into  Veto!  un  Corse  la  finira.     But  in   1815  party  spirit 


5 8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

discovered  in  the  same  words,  Ai!  La  Fraiue  veult  son  Roi!  The  best  ana- 
gram oil  Napoleon  Bonaparte  is  the  Latin  one,  Bona  rapta  U-no  pone! 
(Vou  rascal,  return  your  stolen  goods  I).  Written  in  Greek  letters,  the  same 
name  affords  the  very  best  example  of  what  is  known  as  the  reductive  or  sub- 
tractive  anagram,  thus : 

Na770/'o£6>v    ....     Napoleon 

ano'AEuv     ....     Apollyon, 

ttoAeuv     ....     of  cities 

oAEiDV    ....     the  destroyer, 

"keuv     ....     a  lion, 

£o>v    ....     goes 

(jv     .     .     .     .     about. 

Every  syllable  tells  a  tale  of  rapine. 

Horatio  Nelson  :  Honor  est  a  Nile  (Honor  is  from  the  Nile).  This  cele- 
brated anagram,  put  in  circulation  when  the  news  of  the  victory  of  the  Nile 
arrived  in  England,  was  the  work  of  a  clergyman,  the  Rev.  William  Holden, 
rector  of  Charteris.     Very  inferior  is  the  English  O  a  nation's  Hero. 

Florence  Nightingale  :  Flit  on,  cheering  angel. 

Notes  and  Queries:  Enqjiiries  on  dates  ;  or,  A  question- sender ;  or,  still 
better,  C,  send  in  a  requet. 

William  Nov:  /  moyl  in  law.  This  anagram  on  the  laborious  Attorney- 
General  of  Charles  I.  made  a  great  sensation  at  the  time.  Howell,  in  his 
Letters,  says,  "  With  infinite  pains  and  indefatigable  study  he  came  to  his 
knowledge  of  the  law ;  but  I  never  heard  a  more  pertinent  anagram  than  was 
made  of  his  name." 

Lord  Palmerston  :  So  droll,  pert  man. 

Sir  Robert  Peel  :   Terrible  prose. 

Edgar  Allan  Poe  :  A  long  peal,  read. 

Pilatre  du  Rosier  :  Tu  es proie  de  T air  [Yom  are  the  prey  of  the  air),  pecu- 
liarly appropriate  to  the  unfortunate  aeronaut  who  fell  from  his  balloon,  June 
15,  1785,  but  an  omitted  rand  a  redundant  e  rob  the  anagram  of  the  higher 
meed  of  praise.  The  suggested  amendment,  Tu  es  P.  R.,  Roi  de  Pair  (You  are 
P.  R.,  King  of  the  Air),  is  puerile. 

John  Ruskin  :  N^o  ink-rush  II 

William  Shakespeare  :  I  ask  me, has  Will  a  peer?  Though  Shakespeare 
provided  against  the  shaking  up  of  his  bones,  he  uttered  no  curse  upon  those 
who  should  disturb  the  letters  of  his  name.  At  the  hands  of  the  ruthless 
anagrammatists  they  have  been  made  to  yield  strange  and  varied  results.  As 
gooa  as  any  is  the  above,  though  there  is  some  virtue  in  I s^vear  he  is  like  a 
lamp.  The  alternative  spelling  William  Shakspeare  produces  We  praise 
him,  ask  all,  which  is  somewhat  forced  and  stilted. 

Robert  Southey:  Robust  hero  yet.  This  is  from  the  pen  of  an  admirer. 
An  enemy  is  responsible  for  the  following  :  Be  thou  Sour  Tory. 

Maria  Steuarta:  Veritas  armata  {zrmed  truth),  evidently  by  an  admirer 
of  the  unfortunate  Queen  of  Scots.  A  more  remarkable  anagrammatic  feat  is 
Maria  Steuarda,  Scotori;m  Regina  :  Trusa  vi  regnis,  morte  amara  cado 
(Thrust  by  force  from  my  kingdoms,  I  fall  by  a  bitter  death). 

Charles  James  Stuart:  He  asserts  a  just  claim.  This  anagram  on  the 
Pretender  was  highly  popular  with  the  Jacobites,  who  also  found  in  the  same 
m.me,  claims  Arthur's  seat;  and  in  Charles,  Prince  0¥  \\ a\.y.s,  Al  France 
cries,  O  help  us  I    Taylor,  the  Water   Poet,  had  already  found  in  Charles 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  59 

Stuart  (i.e.,  Charles  I.)  cals  true  harts,  which  illustrates  the  necessity  of  beinc 
acquainted  with  the  orthographic  licenses  of  the  period  to  which  an  anagram 
belongs.     But  Taylor  was  a  clumsy  anagranimatist  at  best. 

James  Stuart:  A  just  master;  a  famous  anagram  by  the  poet  Sylvester  in 
dedicating  to  James  I.  his  translation  of  Du  Bartas. 

Swedish  Nightingale:  Sing  high,  s^veet  Linda!  a  rather  successful  com- 
pliment to  Jenny  Lind,  under  her  sobriquet. 

Alfred  Tennyson  :  Ferny  land  notes ;  or,  Fans  one  tenderly.  Slightly  better 
is  this  :  Alfred  Tennyson,  poet  laureate  :  Neat  sonnet  or  deep  tearful  lay. 

George  Thompson:  O go,  the  negro's  M.  P.  This  excellent  anagram  on 
the  name  of  the  noted  advocate  of  negro  emancipation  derives  additional 
interest  from  the  fact  that  it  was  made  by  a  friend  at  a  time  when  Thompson 
was  hesitating  whether  to  accept  a  seat  in  the  House  of  Commons,  and  is  said 
to  have  decided  him  to  do  so. 

Touchet,  Marie  (mistress  of  Charles  IX.) :   Je  charme  tout  (I  charm  all). 

United  States  :  In  te  Dens  stat  (God  stands  in  thee),  and,  as  a  sort  of 
corollary  to  this  statement,  Inde  tute  stas  (hence  thou  standest  safely).  Other 
Latin  anagrams,  less  excellent  because  their  application  is  less  immediately 
apparent,  are  the  following  :  Dentatus  est  (he  has  teeth,— //f  evidently  meaning 
Uncle  Sam).  Desiste,  tiutat  (hands  off!  it  shakes),  apt  enough  in  1S61,  when 
it  was  made,  but  not  at  present.  Siste,  nudat  te  (stop  !  he  strips  thee).  Et  ista 
desicnt  (those  things  are  also  wanting),  and  A  te  desistunt  (they  keep  off  from 
thee). 

Victoria,  England's  Queen  :  Gmierns  a  nice  quiet  land.  Her  majesty 
herself  should  be  startled  out  of  her  habitual  composure  at  the  enigmatic 
result  obtained  from  Her  Most  Gracious  Majesty  Alexandrina  Vic- 
toria: Ah,  my  extravagant,  joco-serious  radical  minister  ! 

Watt,  James  :    Wait,  stea7n,  or  A  steam  wit. 

Arthur  Wellesley  :  Trjily  he'll  see  war;  or,  Rules  the  war  yell :  or,  Rule 
earthly  S7vell  (the  latter  expressing  the  opinion  of  those  detractors  who,  while 
the  duke  was  alive,  accused  him  of  being  hard  and  worldly).  But  best  is 
the  following  :  Arthur  Wellesley,  Duke  of  V\/^ellington  :  Let  well-foird 
Gaul  secure  thy  renown. 

A  number  of  very  clever  burlesque  anagrams  were  contributed  to  Mae- 
millan's  Magazine  in  1862  by  an  anonymous  hand.  Some  of  these  are  worth 
quoting, — as,  for  example  : 

Jeremy  Bentham  :  The  body  of  Jeremy  Bentham  never  was  buried.  By 
his  own  directions  it  was  kept  above  ground,  a  wax  fac-simile  of  his  face  and 
head  being  fitted  on  to  his  skeleton,  and  his  own  silver  hair,  and  the  hat  and 
clothes  he  usually  wore,  being  placed  on  the  figure,  so  as  to  make  an  exact 
representation  of  him  sitting  in  his  chair  as  when  alive.  Perhaps  his  notion 
was  that  his  school  would  last,  and  that  he  should  be  wheeled  in  to  preside  at 
their  annual  meetings  in  that  ghastly  form.  At  all  events,  the  figure  was  long 
kept  by  the  late  Dr.  Southwood  Smith,  and  is  now  in  one  of  the  London 
museums.  No  one  can  look  at  it  without  disgust  at  such  an  exhibition, — the 
too  literal  fulfilment  of  the  senile  whim  of  an  old  man.  His  very  name  con- 
tains the  punishment  of  the  whim  :  Jeer  my  bent  ham. 

Oliver  Cromwell:  Afore  clover,  Will, — an  anagram  beautifully  repre- 
senting Oliver's  life  when  he  was  a  quiet  farmer  and  had  a  servant  lad  named 
William  ;  or,  Welcofner  r — /  viol,  which  expresses  the  opinion  of  Oliver's  ad- 
herents that  he  was  a  better  first  fiddle  than  the  martyr-monarch.     Observe 


6o  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

how  significant  is  the  blank  in  the  word  royal.     Oliver  was  not  nominally 
king,  though  really  such. 

Sir  William  Hamilton  :  The  anagram  of  the  name  of  this  great  meta- 
physician takes  the  form  of  a  bit  of  dramatic  dialogue  : 
L.  L.  L. :  "  I  am  I,  am  I  not  ?" 
J/.:  "  IV (double yo/i),  Sir!" 

So  profound  an  anagram  as  this  may  require  a  little  explanation.  Z.  Z.  Z.  is 
the  Learned  Logic  Lecturer,  Sir  William  himself.  He  is  interrogating  //, 
one  of  his  hearers,  and,  to  try  his  powers  of  thinking,  asks  him  in  a  personal 
form  a  question  of  great  metaphysical  moment.  The  Hearer  is  evidently 
puzzled,  and  cannot  grasp  the  notion  of  Sir  William,  I  and  then  I  again,  or 
two  Sir  Williams  at  once. 

James  Macpherson  :  Afe  cramp  Ossian!  he! — expressing  how  James 
laughed  to  scorn  the  charge  brought  against  him  ;  or  M.  P.,  reach  me  Ossian, — 
which  was  a  standing  joke  against  Macpherson  in  the  library  of  the  House  of 
Commons  when  he  became  a  member. 

John  Stuart  Mill:  Just  mart  on  hill, — i.e.,  not  only  fair  exchange,  but 
with  all  circumstances  of  publicity  ;  or,  O  thrill,  just  vian,  or,  O  man  Just 
thrill, — expressing  two  opinions  of  the  character  of  Mr.  Mill's  philosophy. 

Adam  Smith  :  Admit  hams, — i.e.,  apply  the  principle  of  free  trade  first  to 
one  particular  article,  and  mark  the  results. 

The  Times  :  Its  thcine  ! — /.£'.,the  whole  planet  and  all  that  takes  place  upon 
it;  Aleetthis, — a  reference  chiefly  to  the  advertisements  in  the  second  column  ; 
and,  finally,  E.  E.  T.  Smith.  This  last  anagram  we  could  not  interpret  for 
some  time  ;  but  we  think  we  have  it  now.  It  seems  to  mean  that  the  Tunes 
represents  Smith,  or  general  English  opinion,  and  yet  not  Smith  absolutely 
and  altogether,  but  rather  Smith  when  he  is  well  backed  by  capital. 

Ancestor,  I  am  my  O'wn.  When  Andoche  Junot,  who  had  risen  from 
the  ranks,  became  Due  d'Abrantes  and  an  important  figure  at  Napoleon's 
newly-formed  court,  a  nobleman  of  the  old  regime  asked  him  what  was  his 
ancestry.  "Ah,  ma  foi !"  replied  the  sturdy  soldier,  "je  n'en  sais  rien  ;  moi 
je  suis  mon  ancetre"  ("  Ah,  sir,  I  know  nothing  about  it ;  I  am  my  own  ances- 
tor"). Probably  he  had  never  heard  of  the  similar  remark  made  by  Tiberius 
of  Curtius  Rufus  :  "  He  seems  to  me  to  be  descended  from  himself."  (Taci- 
tus, xi.  21,  i6.)  Napoleon's  reply  to  the  Emperor  of  Austria  was  in  a 
kindred  vein.  The  Austrian,  when  Napoleon  became  his  prospective  son-in- 
Jaw,  would  fain  have  traced  the  Bonaparte  lineage  to  some  petty  prince  of 
Treviso.  "I  am  my  own  Rudolph  of  Hapsburg,"  said  Napoleon.  Under 
similar  circumstances  he  silenced  a  genealogist:  "  Friend,  my  patent  of  no- 
bility dates  from  Montenotte," — his  first  great  victory.  When  Iphicrates, 
the  Athenian  general,  had  it  cast  up  in  his  face  by  a  descendant  of  Harmo- 
dius  that  he  was  a  shoemaker's  son,  he  calmly  replied,  "The  nobility  of  my 
family  begins  with  me,  yours  ends  with  you."  (Plutarch  :  Life  of  Iphicrates.) 
Almost  fhe  same  words  were  used  by  Alexander  Dumas  when  asked  if  he 
were  not  descended  from  an  ape  (a  covert  sneer  at  his  negro  grandmother) : 
"Very  likely:  my  ancestry  began  where  yours  ends."  General  Skobeleff,  in 
answer  to  a  query  as  to  his  pedigree,  said,  "I  make  little  account  of  genea- 
logical trees.  Mere  family  never  made  a  man  great.  Thought  and  deed,  not 
pedigree,  are  the  passports  to  enduring  fame." — Fortnightly  Review,  October, 
1882. 

The  thought  is,  of  course,  a  commonplace  in  literature.  Here  are  a  few 
representative  instances  : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  6 1 

They  that  on  glorious  ancestors  enlarge, 
Produce  their  debt  instead  of  their  discharge. 

Young  :  Love  of  Fume,  i.  1.  147. 

Le  premier  qui  fut  roi  fut  un  soldat  heureux  : 
Qui  sert  bien  son  pays  n'a  pas  besoin  d'ai'eux. 

Voltaike:  Merope,  i.  3. 
("  The  first  to  become  king  was  a  successful  soldier.     He  who  serves  well  his  country  has 
no  need  of  ancestors  ") 

Whoe'er  amidst  the  sons 
Of  reason,  valor,  liberty,  and  virtue 
Displays  distinguished  merit,  is  a  noble 
Of  Nature's  own  creating. 

James  Thomson  :   Coriolanus,  iii.  3. 

'  What  can  they  see  in  the  longest  kingly  line  in  Europe,  save  that  it  runs  back  to  a  suc- 
cessful soldier?  The  man  who  has  not  anything  to  boast  of  but  his  illusfious  ancestors  is 
like  a  potato, — the  only  good  belonging  to  him  is  under  ground. — Sir  Thomas  Ovekbukv  : 
Characters. 

Anchor  as  the  Symbol  of  Hope.  Among  the  ancients  the  anchor,  as 
the  hope  and  resource  of  the  sailor,  came  to  be  called  "  the  sacred  anchor," 
and  was  made  the  emblem  of  hope.  The  early  Christians  ado])ted  the  anchor 
as  an  emblem  of  hope,  arid  jt  is  found  engraved  on  rings  and  depicted  on 
monuments  and  on  the  walls  of  cemeteries  in  the  Catacombs.  The  anchor 
was  associated  with  the  fish,  the  symbol  cf  the  Saviour,  The  fact  that  the 
transverse  bar  of  an  anchor  below  the  ling  forms  a  cross  probably  helped 
towards  the  choice  of  the  anchor  as  a  Christian  symbol. 

Andre'w's,  St.,  Cross.  The  Cross  of  St.  Andrew  is  always  represented 
in  the  shape  of  the  letter  X  ;  but  that  this  is  an  error,  ecclesiastical  historians 
prove  by  appealing  to  the  cross  itself  on  which  he  suffered,  which  St.  Stephen 
of  Burgundy  gave  to  the  convent  of  St.  Victor,  near  Marseilles,  and  which, 
like  the  common  cross,  is  rectangular.  The  cause  of  the  error  is  thus  ex- 
plained :  when  the  apostle  suffered,  the  cross,  instead  of  being  fixed  upright, 
rested  on  its  foot  and  arm,  and  in  this  posture  he  was  fastened  to  it,  his  hands 
to  one  arm  and  the  head,  his  feet  to  the  other  arm  and  the  foot,  and  his  head 
in  the  air. 

Angel,  To  -write  like  an,  originally  characterized,  not  literary  style,  but 
penmanship.  So  Disraeli  tells  us  in  his  "Curiosities  of  Literature."  Angelo 
Vergecio,  a  learned  Greek,  emigrated  first  to  Italy,  and  afterward.s,  during  the 
reign  of  Francis  I.,  to  France.  His  beautiful  penmanship  attracted  universal 
admiration.  Francis  I.  had  a  Greek  font  of  type  cast,  modelled  from  his 
handwriting.  Angelo's  name  became  synonymous  with  exquisite  calligraphy, 
and  gave  birth  to  the  fainiliar  phrase  "to  write  like  an  angel,"  which,  by  a 
natural  extension  of  meaning,  was  applied  to  authors  as  well  as  mere  pen- 
men : 

Here  lies  Nolly  Goldsmith,  for  shortness  called  Noll, 
Who  wrote  like  an  angel  and  talked  like  poor  Poll. 

Garrick. 

Angels  altogether,  a  West  Indian  slang  term  applied  to  habitual  drunk- 
ards. The  sobriquet  is  said  to  have  taken  its  rise  in  the  following  manner.  A 
negro  employed  on  a  sugar-plantation  on  the  East  Coast,  Demerara,  applied 
for  a  Saturday  holiday.  His  manager,  knowing  Quashie's  reputation  as  a 
hard  drinker,  chaffed  him  as  follows:  "John,  you  were  drunk  on  Sunday.?" 
"  Yes,  massa."  "  Monday,  too  ?"  "  Yes,  massa."  And  so  on  up  to  Friday, 
eliciting  the  same  response.  "  But,  John,"  remonstrated  the  manager  quietly, 
"you  know  you  can't  be  an  angel  altogether."  The  story  got  abroad  and 
passed  into  a  proverbial  phrase. 

6 


62  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Angels,  On  the  side  of  the.  In  1864,  when  Darwinism  was  an  aston- 
ishing novelty,  Disraeli  neatly  expressed  the  indignant  misapprehension  of 
the  multitude  in  a  speech  before  the  Oxford  Diocesan  Society  :  "  What  is  the 
question  which  is  now  placed  before  society,  with  the  glib  assurance  which  to 
me  is  most  astounding  ?  That  question  is  this  :  Is  man  an  ape  or  an  angel  ? 
I  am  on  the  side  of  the  angels.  I  repudiate,  with  indignation  and  abhorrence, 
those  new-fangled  theories."  Carlyle  was  equally  emphatic.  "  I  have  no 
patience  whatever,"  he  cried,  "  with  these  gorilla  damnifications  of  humanity." 
Disraeli  lived  to  modify  his  views,  Carlyle  detested  Darwinism  first  and  last. 
The  optimistic  Emerson  saw  only  hope  in  the  new  doctrine.  "  I  would 
rather  believe,"  he  said,  "  that  we  shall  rise  to  the  state  of  the  angels  than 
that  we  have  fallen  from  it." 

Angels'  Visits.  One  of  the  most  hackneyed  quotations  in  English  litera- 
ture occurs  in  Thomas  Campbell's  "  Pleasures  of  Hope,"  Part  II.,  1.  375  : 

What  though  my  winged  hours  of  bliss  have  been 
Like  angels'  visits,  few  and  far  between  ? 

This  simile  was  highly  praised  for  its  "  originality."  Hazlitt,  in  his  "  Lectures 
on  the  English  Poets,"  was  the  first  to  point  out  a  similar  expression  in  Blair's 

"  Grave  :" 

Its  visits. 
Like  those  of  angels,  short  and  far  between. 

"Mr.  Campbell,"  adds  Hazlitt,  "in  altering  the  expression  has  spoilt  it 
'  Few'  and  '  far  between'  are  the  same  thing."  Elsewhere  he  notes  that  Camp- 
bell never  forgave  him  this  bit  of  detective  work.  But  Blair  himself  was  not 
original.  He  borrowed  from  John  Norris  of  Bemerton  (1656-1711),  who  has 
the  following  lines  in  his  poem  "  The  Parting  :" 

How  fading  are  the  joys  we  dote  upon  ! 
Like  apparitions  seen  and  gone ; 
But  those  which  soonest  take  their  flight  \ 
Are  the  most  exquisite  and  strong : 
»  Like  angels'  visits,  short  and  bright, 

Mortality's  too  weak  to  bear  them  long. 

Norris  again  returned  to  the  image  in  a  poem  to  the  memory  of  his  niece : 
Angels,  as  'tis  but  seldom  they  appear. 
So  neither  do  they  make  long  stay ; 
They  do  but  visit  and  away. 

Angelus  (so  named  from  the  opening  words  of  the  prayer :  "  Angelas 
Domini  nuntiavit  Mariae," — "The  Angel  of  the  Lord  announced  unto  Mary"), 
in  the  Roman  Catholic  Church,  is  a  devotion  in  memory  of  the  Annunciation. 
It  consists  of  three  of  the  scriptural  texts  relating  to  the  mystery,  recited 
alternately  with  the  angelic  salutation,  "  Ave  Maria,"  etc.,  and  followed  by  a 
versicle  with  prayer.  The  devotion  was  of  gradual  growth.  So  early  as  1347 
we  find  the  Council  of  Sens  taking  up  an  ordinance  already  passed  by  Pope 
John  XII.  (1316-1334),  which  recommended  the  faithful  to  say  the  Ave  Maria 
three  times  at  the  hour  of  curfew  {ignitegii).  The  ordinance  was  approved, 
and  its  observance  was  made  obligatory.  Church-bells  should  be  rung  at 
the  hour  of  curfew,  and  all  hearers  should  go  down  on  their  knees  and  recite 
the  angel's  salutation  to  the  glorious  Virgin,  thus  gaining  ten  days'  indul- 
gence. In  1369  it  was  further  ordained  that  at  dawn  there  should  be  three 
bell-strokes,  and  whoever  at  that  signal  said  three  aves  and  as  many  pater- 
nosters should  obtain  an  indulgence  for  twenty  days.  The  Angelus,  as  we 
know  it,  developed  out  of  this  beginning,  and  was  substantially  the  present 
devotion,  when,  in  1416,  a  repetition  of  "the  Angelus  three  times  a  day  was 
recommended  at  Breslau,  the  example  being  followed  by  Mainz  and  Cologne 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  63 

ill  1423.  In  1472,  Louis  XI.  obtained  a  papal  decree  sanctioning  the  triple 
Angel  us  ni  France,  and  promising  three  hundred  additional  days  of  indul- 
gence to  the  suppliant. 

Angry  boys,  a  term  applied  in  the  seventeenth  century  to  the  unruly 
"  bloods"  of  the  day  whose  mad  frolics  nightly  made  the  streets  a  terror  to 
sedate  and  peaceable  citizens. 

Get  thee  another  nose  that  will  be  pulled 
Off  by  the  angry  boys  for  thy  conversion. 

Beaumont  and  Fletcher  :   The  Scornful  Lady. 

Annus  Mirabilis  (L.,  "Wonderful  year").  A  term  that  may  be  applied 
to  any  year  memorable  in  public  or  private  history.  Thus,  one  of  Coleridge's 
critics  called  1797  his  annus  mirabilis,  as  during  that  year  the  poet  composed 
most  of  his  finest  works.  And,  again,  1871  has  been  called  the  annus  mira- 
bilis of  the  Papacy,  as  the  year  in  which  Pius  IX.,  first  among  all  the  succes- 
sors of  St.  Peter,  attained  and  passed  the  twenty-five  years  of  rule  which  are 
credited  to  Peter.  But,  specifically,  the  term  is  applied  in  English  history  to 
the  year  1666,  which  was  crowded  thick  with  events,— the  great  fire  of  Lon- 
don, the  defeat  of  the  Dutch  fleet,  etc.  This  specific  use  of  the  word  has 
been  fixed  and  perpetuated  by  Dryden's  poem  "Annus  Mirabilis,"  which  cel- 
ebrates these  events.  3 

Antiquitas  saeculi  juventus  mundi  (L.,  "  The  antiquity  of  ages  is  the 
youth  of  the  world").  This  phrase  occurs  as  a  quotation  in  Bacon's  "  Ad- 
vancement of  Learning,"  book  i.  (1605).  Bacon  explains  it  thus:  "These 
times  are  the  ancient  times,  when  the  world  is  ancient,  and  not  those  which 
we  account  ancient  oi-dine  retrogrado,  by  computation  backward  from  our- 
selves." Whewell  has  pointed  out  that  the  same  thought  occurs  in  Giordano 
Bruno's  "Cena  di  Cenere,"  published  in  1584.  Pascal,  in  the  preface  to  his 
"Treatise  on  Vacuum,"  says,  "For  as  old  age  is  that  period  of  life  most 
remote  from  infancy,  who  does  not  see  that  old  age  in  this  universal  man 
ought  not  to  be  sought  in  the  times  nearest  his  birth,  but  in  those  most  remote 
from  it  ?"  For  a  humorous,  yet  most  effective,  statement  of  the  same  axiom 
by  Sydney  Smith,  see  Wisdom  of  Our  Ancestors.  Gladstone  has  taken 
the  words  Jttventus  Miindi  as  a  title  for  his  book  on  the  Homeric  period. 

Anxious  Bench,  or  Anxious  Seat,  a  familiar  Americanism,  originally 
derived  from  the  terminology  of  Methodist  camp-meetings  and  other  religious 
revivals.  The  anxious  benches  are  seats  set  aside  for  anxious  mourners, — i.e., 
for  sinners  who  are  conscious  of  their  sin  and  desirous  of  conversion.  After  the 
ordinary  services,  an  Anxious  Meeting  is  held,  where  the  mourners  are  exhorted, 
and,  after  they  have  brought  forth  fruit  meet  for  repentance,  they  are  received 
into  church  membership.  By  extension,  the  phrase  On  the  Anxious  Bench 
means  to  be  in  a  state  of  great  difficulty,  doubt,  or  despondency. 

Any  other  man,  a  bit  of  American  slang  which  had  a  great  run  in  i860. 
When  a  man  became  prolix  or  used  alternatives,  such  as  Brown  or  Jones  or 
Robinson,  he  was  promptly  called  to  order  by  the  cry,  "  or  any  other  man." 
The  first  use  of  the  phrase  in  print  was  by  Charles  G.  Leland,  in  a  comic 
sketch  in  the  New  York  Vanity  Fair.  A  sort  of  forerunner  has  been  discov- 
ered in  "  Waverley  :"  "Gif  any  man  or  any  other  man." 

Apartments  to  let,  a  colloquial  expression,  indicating  that  the  person 
referred  to  as  having  such  apartments  is  a  fool,  an  idiot, — i.e.,  that  his  skull 
has  no  tenant  in  the  shape  of  brains.  The  phrase  may  have  originated  with 
the  famous  mot  of  Richard  Brinsley  Sheridan,  when  his  son  Thomas  jest- 
ingly declared  that  he  had  no  decided  political  principles,  but  would  serve 


64  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

whatever  party  paid  him  best,  and  that  he  had  a  mind  to  put  a  placard  on  his 
forehead,  "To  let."  "All  right,  Tom,"  was  the  answer,  "but  don't  forget  to 
add  'unfurnished.'" 

Apes.  Leading  apes  in  helL  This  proverbial  expression  is  supposed 
to  describe  the  fate  of  women  who  die  old  maids,  or  who  have  otherwise 
avoided  the  responsibility  of  bearing  children.  In  this  sense  it  occurs  fre- 
quently in  Shakespeare  and  his  contemporaries.  Thus,  in  the  "  Taming  of 
the  Shrew,"  Act  iii.  Sc.  i  : 

She  is.  your  treasure,  she  must  have  a  husband  ; 

I  must  dance  barefoot  on  her  wedding-day, 

And,  for  your  love  to  lier,  lead  apes  in  hell. 

Dodsley,  in  his  "Collection  of  Poems,"  vol.  vi.  p.  216,  has  this  stanza: 

Poor  Gratia  in  her  twentieth  year. 

Foreseeing  future  woe. 
Chose  to  attend  a  monkey  here 

Before  an  ape  below. 

A  more  recent  e.xample  is  in  Dibdin's  song  "Tack  and  Tack :" 
At  length  cried  she,  "  I'll  marry  ;  what  should  I  tarry  for? 
I  may  lead  apes  in  hell  forever." 
But  it  would  seem  that  the  e.\pression  had  some  other  meaning  before  the 
seventeenth  century,  which  it  has  now  lost.     Stanihurst,  in  the  dedication  to 
his  "Description  of  Ireland,"  in  Holinshed's  "Chronicles,"  vol.  ii.  (1586-S7), 
says,  "  Mcrsites  .  .  .  seemed  to  stand  in  no  better  stead  than  to  lead  apes 
in  hell."     Here  there  is  an  allusion  quite  unconnected  with  maidenhood  or 
childlessness. 

Apostle  Gems.  According  to  Bristow's  Glossary,  the  apostle  gems  are 
as  follows  :  jasjier,  the  symbol  of  St.  Peter  ;  sapphire,  St.  Andrew ;  chal- 
cedony, St.  James  ;  emerald,  St.  John  ;  sardonyx,  St.  Philip  ;  carnelian,  St. 
Bartholomew;  chrysolite,  St.  Matthew;  beryl,  St.  Thomas;  chrysoprase,  St. 
Thaddeus ;  topaz,  St.  James  the  Less ;  hyacinth,  St.  Simeon ;  amethyst, 
St.  Matthias.  A  white  chalcedony  with  red  spots  is  called  "St.  Stephen's 
stone." 

Apostle  Spoons.  Old-fashioned  silver  or  silver-gilt  spoons,  whose  handle 
terminated  in  the  figure  of  one  of  the  apostles.  The  souvenir  spoons  of 
to-day  are  their  legitimate  descendants.  Apostle  spoons  were  the  usual 
presents  of  sponsors  at  christenings.  The  rich  gave  a  set  of  a  dozen,  those 
less  wealthy  four,  while  the  poor  gave  one.  In  "  Henry  VIII.,"  Act  v.  Sc.  2, 
the  king  wishes  Cranmer  to  stand  godfather  to  the  Princess  Elizabeth,  and 
When  the  prelate  excuses  himself,  saying, — 

How  may  I  deserve  it. 
That  am  a  poor  humble  subject  to  you  ? — 

the  king  jestingly  responds, — 

Come,  come,  my  lord,  you'd  spare  yoiu-  spoons. 

Apostles,  or  The  Twrelve  Apostles,  in  Cambridge  University  slang, 
"the  clodhoppers  of  literature  who  have  at  last  scrambled  through  the 
Senate  House  without  being  plucked,  and  have  obtained  the  title  of  B.A.  by 
a  miracle.  The  last  twelve  names  on  the  list  of  Bachelor  of  Arts — those  a 
degree  lower  than  the  ol  tto'/J.ol — are  thus  designated"  [Gradus  ad  Cantabri- 
{^am).  The  very  last  on  the  list  was  known  as  St.  Paul,  punningly  corrupted  into 
St.  Poll, — an  allusion  to  i  Cor.  xv.  9:  "For  I  am  the  least  of  the  apostles, 
that  am  not  meet  to  be  called  an  apostle."  In  a  fine  burst  of  etymological 
inspiration,  Hotten  suggests  that  apostles  is  derived  ixom  post  alios, — i.e.,  "after 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  65 

the  others."     But  the  reference  to  the  Twelve  Apostles  is  clear  enough  in 
Itself.     In  Columbian  College,  Washington,  D.C.,  the  twelve  last  members  of 


listreceive  each  the  name  of  one  of  the  apostle 


the  B.A. 

Appetite.  In  Rabelais's  "Gargantua,"  ch.  v.,  occurs  the  famous  phrase 
I'  L'appetit  vient  en  mangeant"  ("  Appetite  comes  in  eating").  The  context 
is  worth  quotnig :  "The  stone  called  asbestos  is  not  more  inextinguishable 
than  is  the  thirst  of  which  I  am  the  parent.  Appetite  comes  with  eating  said 
Angeston  ;  but  thirst  goes  away  by  drinking.  Remedy  for  thirst  ?  It  is  the 
opposite  of  that  for  the  bite  of  a  dog  ;  always  run  aft«r  a  dog,  and  he  will 
never  bite  you  ;  always  drink  before  thirst,  and  it  will  never  come  to  you." 
The  Angeston  referred  to  is  supposed  to  be  Jerome  de  Ilangest,  a  famous 
doctor  of  the  Sorbonne,  who  flourished  at  the  beginning  of  the  sixteenth  cen- 
tury. But  where  or  under  what  circumstances  he  used  the  phrase  is  unknown. 
Montaigne  echoes  Rabelais  in  his  essay  on  "Vanity:"  "My  appetite  comes  to 
me  while  eating."  But  this  is  a  mere  autobiographical  detail.  The  true 
original  is  probably  in  Ovid,  who,  speaking  of  Erysichthon,  condemned  by  Ceres 
to  an  inextinguishable  hunger,  says,  "  All  food  stimulates  his  desire  for  other 
food."  {^Metamorphoses,  lib.  viii.)  The  phrase  is  often  used  now  in  a  meta- 
phorical sense,  as,  for  example,  in  Shakespeare's  paraphrase  : 
Why,  she  would  hang  on  him. 
As  if  increase  of  appetite  had  grown 
By  what  it  fed  on. 

Hajnlet,  Act  i.  Sc.  2. 

But  even  in  this  sense  a  classical  prototype  may  be  found  in  Quintus  Curtius, 
who  makes  his  Scythians  say  to  Alexander,  "  You  are  the  first  in  whom  satiety 
has  engendered  hunger." 

Apple  Jack,  in  America,  a  familiar  name  for  whiskey  distilled  from  apples, 
known  also  as  Jersey  lightning,  from  the  fact  that  it  is  mainly  a  New  Jersey 
product.  It  may  be  interesting  to  recall  John  Philips's  lines  in  "  The  Splendid 
Shilling  :" 

Thus  do  I  live,  from  pleasure  quite  debarred, 

Nor  taste  the  fruits  tliat  the  sun's  genial  rays 

Mature,  John  Apple,  nor  the  downy  peach. 
But  this  is  only  a  curious  coincidence.  The  John  Apple,  or  Apple  John  (so 
called  because  it  is  ripe  about  St.  John's  day),  is  a  kind  of  apple  said  to  keep 
for  years,  and  to  be  in  perfection  when  shrivelled  and  withered.  Hence 
Washington  Irving's  "  Poor  Jemmy,  he  is  but  a  withered  little  apple-john," 
quoted  in  C.  D.  Warner's  Life,  p.  77. 

Apple  of  Discord.  Something  which  causes  strife, — an  allusion  to  the 
classical  fable  of  Eris,  the  goddess  of  hate,  who  threw  a  golden  apple  among 
her  fellow-goddesses,  with  this  inscription,  "To  the  most  beautiful."  Here, 
Pallas,  and  Aphrodite  (Juno,  Minerva,  and  Venus)  all  three  claimed  the  prize, 
and  referred  their  dispute  to  Paris,  who  decided  in  favor  of  the  latter, — a 
decision  that  led  to  the  Trojan  war. 

"Angry,  indeed  !"  says  Juno,  gathering  up  her  purple  robes  and  royal  raiment.  "  Sorry, 
indeed  !"  cries  Minerva,  lacing  on  her  corselet  again,  and  scowling  under  her  helmet.  (I  imagine 
the  well-known  Apple  case  has  just  been  argued  and  decided.)  "  Hurt,  forsooth  !  Do  you 
suppose  we  care  for  the  opinion  of  that  hobnailed  lout  of  a  Paris  ?  Do  you  suppose  that  I, 
the  Goddess  of  Wisdom,  can't  make  allowances  for  mortal  ignorance,  and  am  so  base  as  to 
bear  malice  against  a  poor  creature  who  knows  no  better  ?  You  little  know  the  goddess  nature 
when  you  dare  to  insinuate  that  our  divine  minds  are  actuated  by  motives  so  base.  A  love  of 
justice  influences  us.  We  are  above  mean  revenge.  We  are  too  magnanimous  to  be  angry 
at  the  award  of  such  a  judge  in  favor  of  such  a  creature."  And,  rustUng  out  their  skirts,  the 
ladies  walk  away  together.  This  is  all  very  well.  You  are  bound  to  believe  them.  I'hey  are 
actuated  by  no  hostility ;  not  they.  They  bear  no  malice — of  course  not.  But  when  the 
Trojan  war  occurs  presently,  which  side  will  they  take  ?  Many  brave  souls  will  be  sent  to 
e  6* 


66  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Hades,  Hector  will  perish,  poor  old  Priam's  bald  numskull  will  be  cracked,  and  Troy  town 
will  burn,  because  Paris  prefers  golden-haired  Venus  to  ox-eyed  Juno  and  gray-eyed  Minerva.— 
Thackeuay  :  RoundubotU  Papers. 

Apple-pie  order,  complete,  thorough  order.  Plausibly  conjectured  to  be 
a  corruption  of  cap-a-pie  order  (Fr.  de pied  en  cap),  with  reference  to  the  com- 
plete equipment  of  a  soldier  fully  caparisoned  from  head  to  foot.  The  only 
objection  to  this  theory  is  that  no  instance  of  the  latter  phrase  appears.  Per- 
haps the  derivation  suggested  in  Barrere  and  Leland's  "  Slang  Dictionary"  is 
the  true  one  :  "  Order  is  an  old  word  for  a  row,  and  a  properly-made  apple-pie 
had,  of  old,  always  all  order  or  row  of  regularly-cut  turrets,  or  an  exactly 
divided  border."  Pies  are  rarely  now  made  in  this  fashion  in  England,  but 
quite  frequently  in  America.  An  apple-pie  bed,  familiar  to  school-boys,  is 
a  bed  in  which  some  practical  joker  has  folded  the  sheets  so  that  a  person 
cannot  get  his  legs  down. 

The  children's  garden  is  in  apple-pie  order.  Scott,  in  Lockharfs  Life,  vol.  iv.  p.  131,  ed. 
1839. 

Apples.  How  Twe  apples  s-wim!  A  common  English  phrase,  applied  to 
the  self-gratulation  of  a  pompous  and  inflated  person.  The  reference  is  to 
the  fable  of  the  horse-dung  floating  down  the  river  with  a  lot  of  apples. 

And  even  this,  little  as  it  is,  gives  him  so  much  importance  in  his  own  eyes  that  he  assutnes 
a  consequential  air,  sets  his  arms  akimbo,  and,  stmtting  among  the  historical  artists,  cries, 
"  How  we  apples  swim !"     Hogakth  :    Works  (ed.  1873),  vol.  iii.  p.  29. 

Apprentices  and  Salmon.  A  curious  popular  tradition,  still  current  in 
the  valley  of  the  Severn,  asserts  that  in  ancient  indentures  masters  bound 
themselves  not  to  feed  their  apprentices  on  salmon  more  than  thrice  a  week. 
A  lively  controversy  on  this  subject  in  N'otes  and  Queries  led  to  an  offer  by 
the  editor  of  that  periodical  of  five  pounds  for  the  discovery  of  an  indenture 
having  this  clause.     The  reward,  however,  was  never  claimed. 

Apron-strings,  To  be  tied  to  a  woman's.  To  be  under  petticoat  gov- 
ernment. To  be  ruled  by  a  woman.  There  is  an  old  legal  term,  Apron-string 
hold,  =  a  tenure  of  property  through  one's  wife,  or  during  her  lifetime  alone. 

The  fair  sex  are  so  conscious  to  themselves  that  they  have  nothing  in  them  which  can  deserve 
entirely  to  engross  the  whole  man,  that  they  heartily  despise  one  who,  to  use  their  own  ex- 
pression, is  always  hanging  at  their  apron-strings.     Addison  :  Spectator,  No.  506  (1712). 

Apropos  de  bottes  ("  apropos  of  boots"),  a  French  expression  which  has 
been  adopted  into  English,  and  means  apropos  of  nothing.  The  saying  is 
thus  accounted  for.  Ascertain  seigneur,  having  lost  an  important  cause,  told 
the  king,  Fran9ois  I.,  that  the  cour't  had  unbooted  him  {Vavait  debotte).^  What 
he  meant  to  say  was  that  the  court  had  decided  against  him  (il  avait ete debonte) 
of.  med.  Lat.  debotare).  The  king  laughed,  but  reformed  the  practice  of 
pleading  in  Latin.  The  gentlemen  of  the  bar,  feeling  displeased  at  the  change, 
said  that  it  had  been  made  h  propos  de  bottes.  Hence  the  application  of  the 
phrase  to  anything  that  is  done  without  motive.  {Notes  and  Queries,  second 
series,  ix.  14.)  The  explanation  is  plausible,  and,  as  there  is  no  direct  historical 
evidence  to  confute  it,  may  be  accepted  without  mental  stultification.  But  it 
fails  to  support  the  burden  of  proof  that  legitimately  rests  on  its  shoulders. 

Arcadia,  in  ancient  geography,  a  pastoral  district  of  the  Peloponnesus 
in  Greece,  is  used  as  a  synonyme  for  any  Utopia  of  poetical  simplicity  and 
innocence.  "  Auch  ich  war  in  Arkadien  geboren"  ("  I  too  was  born  in 
Arcadia"),  sings  Schiller  in  his  poem  "  Resignation."  Goethe  adopts  this 
famous  phrase  as  the  motto  of  his  Italian  journeys.  In  the  Latin  form  "  Et 
ego  in  Arcadia"  it  appears  in  one  of  Poussin's  landscapes  in  the  Louvre, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  67 

inscribed  on  a  tomb  whereon  a  group  of  shepherds  gaze  with  mingled  curi- 
osity and  affright. 

Architect  of  his  own  fortune.  The  familiar  proverb,  Every  man  is 
the  architect  of  his  own  fortune,  is  found  in  most  modern  languages.  Accord- 
ing to  Sallust,  in  his  first  oration  ("  De  Republ.  Ordinand.,"  i.  i),  the  phrase 
originated  with  Appius  Claudius  Cascus,  who  held  the  office  of  Censor  in 
B.C.  312:  "  Sed  res  docent  id  verum  esse,  quod  in  carminibus  Appius  ait: 
Fabrum  esse  suts  qiiemque  fortuncc''''  ("  But  the  thing  teaches  us  that  that  is 
true  which  Caius  says  in  his  poems,  that  every  one  is  the  architect  of  his  own 
fortune").  A  century  later  we  find  Plautus  asserting  that  the  wise  man  is  the 
maker  of  his  own  fortune,  and,  unless  he  is  a  bungling  workman,  little  can  befall 
him  which  he  would  wish  to  change : 

Nam  sapiens  quidem  pol  ipse  fingit  fortunam  sibi 

Eo  ne  multa  quae  nevolt  eveniunt,  nisi  fictor  malus  siet. 

Trinunimus,  ii.  284. 

Publius  Syrus  has,  "  His  own  character  is  the  arbiter  of  every  one's  fortune." 
(Maxim  283.) 

Bacon  quotes  Appius's  saying  approvingly,  putting  it  in  the  indicative 
instead  of  in  the  infinitive  mood,  and  possibly  restoring  it  thereby  to  its  origi- 
nal form  :  "  It  cannot  be  denied,  but  outward  accidents  conduce  much  to 
fortune ;  favor,  opportunity,  death  of  others,  occasion-fitting  virtue.  But 
chiefly  the  mould  of  a  man's  fortune  is  in  his  own  hands  :  Faber  est  quisque 
fortune  siccB,  saith  the  poet."  ' 

In  Cervantes  the  idea  is  presented  in  a  different  form  :  "  Every  man  is  the 
son  of  his  own  works"  {Don  Quixote,  i.  4).    Here  are  some  further  variations : 

Men  at  some  time  are  masters  of  their  fates; 
The  fault,  dear  Brutus,  is  not  in  our  stars, 
But  in  ourselves,  that  we  are  underlings. 

Shakespeare  :  Julius  Ceesar,  i.  2. 

We  all  do  stamp  our  value  on  ourselves ; 
The  price  we  challenge  for  ourselves  is  given  us. 
There  does  not  live  on  earth  the  man  so  stationed 
That  I  despise  myself  compared  with  him. 
Man  is  made  great  or  little  by  his  own  will. 

Coleridge:  trans,  of  Schiller's  IVallenstein' s  Death,  iv.  8,  77. 

Architecture  is  frozen  music.  Schelling  has  this  phrase  twice  in  his 
"Philosophie  der  Kunst."  At  page  576  he  says,  "It  is  music  in  space,  as  it 
were  a  frozen  music,"  and  again  at  page  593,  "  Architecture  in  general  is 
frozen  music." 

Madame  de  Stael  undoubtedly  had  these  phrases  in  mind  when  she  wrote, 
"The  sight  of  such  a  monument  is  like  a  continuous  and  stable  music"  ("  La 
vue  d'un  tel  monument  est  comme  une  musique  continuelle  et  fixee,"  Corinne, 
iv.  3).  Emerson,  in  his  essay  on  "  Quotation  and  Originality,"  says  that 
Madame  de  Stael  "borrowed  from  Goethe's 'dumb  music,' which  is  Vitru- 
vius's  rule  that  '  the  architect  must  not  only  understand  drawing,  but  music'  " 

'Arry,  a  common  sobriquet  applied  to  the  Cockney  "sports"  of  London, 
being  the  name  Harry  spelled  as  they  pronounce  it.  The  'Arries  are  just  a 
shade  above  the  roughs  ;  they  are  usually  good-natured,  but  vulgar,  flashy, 
and  loud-mouthed,  and  on  Sunday  afternoons  and  bank  holidays  are  seen  with 
their  'Arriets  in  every  place  of  public  resort.  Mr.  Punch  takes  particular 
pleasure  in  showing  up  their  harmless  eccentricities. 
'Arry  smokes  a  two-penny  smoke. 

Oh  !  poor  'Arry  ! 
'Arry's  pipe's  enough  to  choke. 
Bad  boy  'Arry  I 


68  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

'Arry  thinks  it  very  good  fun 

To  puff  his  cheap  cigar 

Into  the  faces  of  every  one 

While  doing  the  la-di-da. 

Concert-hall  Ballad  :  How  do,  'Arry? 

Mr.  Matthew  Arnold  must  help  us  to  define  'Arry ;  he  must  lend  us  one  of  his  fine  old 
serviceable  formulse.  'Arry  is  the  hovivie  sensuel  moyen  of  the  middle  and  lower  classes  ;  the 
ordinary  sensual  man,  very  ordinary  and  excessively  sensual.  In  'Arry,  "  the  life  of  the 
senses  develops  itself  all  round  without  misgiving;"  his  existence  is  "  confident,  free,''  and 
easy.  We  all  know  'Arry  when  we  meet  him  ;  but  circumstances  have  prevented  science 
from  pursuing  him  to  his  home.  For  the  world  at  large  'Arry  only  exists  when  he  is  at  large  ; 
and  that  is  much  too  often  for  the  comfort  of  people,  who  are,  after  all,  in  a  sense  his  fellow- 
creatures.  No  martyr  of  social  curiosity  has  yet  sought  to  know  'Arry  at  honie,  to  see  him 
at  work  or  in  his  family  circle.  ...  It  is  not  easy  to  see  how  the  social  missionary  is  to  do 
good  to ''Arry,  or  how  'Arry  is  to  be  got  at  by  education.  He  is  so  brutally  gregarious  that  no 
one  can  find  him  alone  and  play  on  his  finer  feelings ;  he  is  so  dull  that  he  would  not  attempt 
argument,  or  even  banter ;  he  would  only  howl.  Nature  has  produced  no  being  so  near  the 
Yahoo  as  'Arry,  the  flower  of  our  earnest  mechanical  civilization.  By  his  pleasures  he  is  known, 
on  his  holidays  he  is  to  be  studied,  for  then  he  escapes  from  the  yoke  of  civilization,  and  is 
really  himself.  His  actions  have  the  monotonous  regularity  of  a  machine,  and  when  one  has 
listened  to  one  van-load  of  'Arries,  one  has  heard  all  of  them. — Saturday  Review,  August  9, 
1879. 

Ars  est  celare  artem  (L.,  "  Art  lies  in  concealing  art"),  a  phrase  which 
probably  rose  out  of  Ovid's  line  in  the  "Art  of  Love,"  ii.  313  :  "Si  latet  ars 
prodest"  ("  If  the  art  is  concealed,  it  succeeds").  The  meaning,  of  course,  is 
that  true  art  must  always  appear  natural  and  spontaneous,  and  give  no  evi- 
dence of  the  labor  which  perfected  it.  As  Burke  says,  "  Art  can  never  give 
the  rules  that  make  an  art."  [The  Snhlime  and  Beautiful,  Part  I.,  sec.  9.) 

The  contrary  fault  is  indicated  in  CoUins's  lines, — 

Too  nicely  Jonson  knew  the  critic's  part ; 
Nature  in  him  was  almost  lost  in  Art. 

On  Sir  Thomas  Hanmer' s  Edition  of  Shakespeare. 

Art  is  long  and  time  is  fleeting.  A  famous  line  in  Longfellow's  "  Psalm 
of  Life,"  which  merely  versifies  the  Latin  saw,  "  Ars  longa,  vita  brevis  est." 
The  original  may  be  traced  to  the  Greek  of  Hippocrates  ("Apothegms,"  i.), 
who  reverses  the  order  :  "  Life  is  short  and  the  art  long."  He  is  complaining 
that  the  longest  life  is  only  sufficient  to  acquire  a  moderate  portion  of  knowl- 
edge in  any  art  or  science.  But  Seneca,  who  tells  us  "the  greatest  of  doc- 
tors" used  to  say,  "  Vitam  brevem  esse,  longam  artem,"  calls  this  an  unjust 
accusation  against  Nature  or  Providence,  though  he  allows  that  not  only  fools 
but  the  wise  are  too  apt  so  to  rail,  and,  among  others,  he  quotes  Aristotle. 
Exactly  when  Seneca's  version  of  the  phrase  passed  into  the  neater  and  more 
logical  "  Ars  longa,  vita  brevis  est,"  it  is  impossible  to  say.  Probably  the  first 
attempt  to  English  it  was  Chaucer's  : 

The  Ij'fe  so  short,  the  crafte  so  long  to  leme, 
Th'  assay  so  hard,  so  sharpe  the  conquering. 

Assembly  0/ Fowls,  line  i. 

Goethe,  in  "  Wilhelm  Meister,"  has,  "Art  is  long,  life  short;  judgment 
difficult,  opportunity  transient"  (book  vii.  ch.  ix.).  Another  sense  in  which 
the  proverb  may  be  taken  is  indicated  in  these  lines  of  Austin  Uobson's  : 

All  passes ;  art  alone 

Enduring  stays  to  us  : 
The  bust  outlasts  the  throne. 

The  coin,  Tiberius. 

Art  preservative  of  all  arts.  The  art  of  printing.  This  phrase  finds 
its  origin  in  an  inscription  on  the  house  at  Haarlem  formerly  occupied  by 
Laurent  Koster  or  Coster,  one  of  the  earliest  printers  in  Holland,  and,  in- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  69 

deed,  held  by  some  enthusiastic  fellow-countiymen  to  be  the  inventor  of  the 
art : 

Memoriae  Sacrum 

Typographia 

Ars  Artium  Omnium 

Conservatrix. 
Hie  Primum  inventa 
Circa  Annum  M.CCCCXL. 
("  Sacred  to   the  memory  of  Typography,   the    art    conservator  of  all   arts. 
Here  first  invented  about  the  year  1440.")     The  exact  date  when  the  inscrip- 
tion was  put  up  is  uncertain,  but  it  is  laiovvn  to  have  been  in  existence  about 
1628. 

As  in  praesenti  perfectum  format  in  avi  (L.,  "  As  in  the  present  forms 
its  perfect  in  avi").  The  first  words  of  that  part  of  the  Eton  Latin  grammar 
which  treats  of  the  conjugation  of  verbs.  That  which  treats  of  the  genders 
of  nouns  begins,  "  Propria  qua  maribus,"  etc.  Hence  a  boy  is  said  to  be 
beginning  his  as  in  prcesefiti,  ox  propria  qtia  maribus,  when  he  is  acquiring  the 
first  rudiments  of  the  Latin  tongue.  By  extension,  the  same  terms  are  ap- 
plied to  beginners  in  all  starts  of  knowledge,  bookish  or  worldly. 

Ass  ascends  the  ladder,  Until  the.  A  favorite  expression  among  the 
Rabbins  for  that  which  can  never,  or  will  never,  take  place, — e.g.,  "Si  ascen- 
derit  asinus  per  scalas,  invenietur  scientia  in  mulieribus," — a  proposition  so 
uncomplimentary  to  the  better  sex  that  we  leave  it  in  Buxtorfs  Latin.  A 
similar  phrase,  with  a  similar  meaning,  is  found  in  Petronius  :  "asinus  in 
tegulis"  ("  an  ass  on  the  house-top"). 

Assassins.  Que  messieurs  les  assassins  commencent  (Fr.,  "  Let  the 
assassins,  or  the  murderers,  begin").  Alphonse  Karr's  famous  reply  to  the  plea 
for  abolition  of  capital  punishment.  In  the  funeral  address  over  Karr's  body 
(October  4,  1S90),  M.  Jean  Aicard  predicted  that  even  though  all  the  great  liter- 
ary monuments  of  the  present  century  should  crumble  and  disappear,  there  was 
still  something  that  never  would  be  lost,  that  some  of  the  wisdom  and  the 
wit  to  which  Alphonse  Karr  had  given  permanent  form,  in  a  language  which 
is  at  once  brilliant  and  solid,  would  be  dug  up  again  out  of  the  ruins  in 
time  to  come,  as  we  dig  up  coins  and  medals  in  Greek  or  Roman  soil.  It 
is  curious  to  note  how  closely  this  corresponds  with  Karr's  own  estimate  of 
himself:  "There  will  remain  of  me,"  he  said,  "only  two  phrases  :  Phis  fa 
change,  phis  c''est  la  mhne  chose,  and  On  veut  abolir  la  peine  de  mort,  soit ;  mats 
que  messieurs  les  assassins  cotnmciicent."  It  is  still  more  curious  to  discover 
that  the  latter  phrase  was  not  of  Karr's  own  writing,  but  was  borrowed,  con- 
sciously or  unconsciously,  from  the  "  Heliotropium"  of  the  German  Drexe- 
lius  (1581-1638)  :  "Quondam  faex  hominum,  et  furum,  lavernionum,  efTracto- 
rum  ampla  societas  libellos  supplices  porrexerunt  judicibus,  rogaruntque 
patibula  et  furcas  auferrent.  .  .  .  His  a  judicibus  responsum  est,  siquidem 
antiquatum  cujjiant  morem  patibulandi  abrogari,  prius  ipsi  consuetudinem 
abrogent  furandi,  judices  in  mora  non  futures,  quod  protinus  cruces  tollant  et 
patibula,  modo  ipsi  prius  cessare  jubeant  furta"  (book  iv.,  ch.  ii.,  s.  i). 

Atheist.  "By  night  an  atheist  half  believes  a  God."  The  177th  line  in 
Young's  "  Night  Thoughts,"  V.  At  the  end  of  Night  IV.  he  had  already 
said, — 

Ye  deaf  to  truth  !  peruse  this  parson'd  page. 
And  trust,  for  once,  a  prophet  and  a  priest : 
"  Men  may  live  fools,  but  fools  they  cannot  die.''^ 

Of  course  there  is  a  reference  here  to  Psalm  xiv.,  "  The  fool  hath  said  in 


70  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

his  heart,  There  is  no  God."  One  of  Clough's  most  memorable  poems,  the 
Spirit's  soliloquy  in  "  Dipsychus"  (Part  I.  Sc.  v.),  affords  a  parallel  to  Young's 
lines.     Here  are  the  most  pregnant  stanzas  : 

"  There  is  no  God,"  the  wicked  saith, 

"  And  truly  it's  a  blessing, 
For  what  He  might  have  done  with  us 

It's  better  only  guessing." 

***** 
Some  others,  also,  to  themselves 

Who  scarce  so  much  as  doubt  it. 
Think  there  is  none,  when  they  are  well 

And  do  not  think  about  it. 

***** 
But  almost  every  one,  when  age. 

Disease,  or  sorrows  strike  him. 
Inclines  to  think  there  is  a  God, 

Or  something  very  like  him. 

Athol  Brose.  Athol  is  a  district  in  the  northern  part  of  Perthshire, 
Scotland.  Brose  is  Scotch  for  "broth."  Athol  brose  is  a  pottage  or  drink 
made  originally  in  Athol  by  pouring  boiling  water  on  oatmeal  and  intro- 
ducing a  few  condiments.  That  it  is  a  pleasant  compound  appears  from 
Hood's  epigram : 

Charmed  with  a  drink  which  Highlanders  compose, 

A  German  traveller  exclaims  with  glee, 
"  Potztausend  !  sare,  if  dis  is  Athol  Brose, 

How  goot  der  Athol  Boetry  must  be  !" 

The  name  "  brose"  or  "  broose"  is  also  given  to  a  race  at  country  wed- 
dings who  shall  first  reach  the  bridegroom's  house  on  returning  from  church, 
the  prize  being  a  smoking  bowl  of  spice  broth.  In  time  the  name  was  trans- 
ferred from  the  prize  to  the  race  itself. 

Audit  ale,  elliptically,  Audit.  A  kind  of  strong  ale,  brewed  especially 
at  Trinity  College,  Cambridge,  and  so  called  either  because  it  is  held  to  be 
specially  appropriate  to  Audit  Day  (the  day  on  which  students'  accounts  are 
audited),  or  because  it  was  originally  brewed  on  that  day.  Only  a  limited 
quantity  is  now  brewed  once  a  year,  professors  and  undergraduates  being 
allowed  to  purchase  no  more  than  a  certain  number  of  bottles.  At  Cambridge 
the  custom  is  at  least  two  hundred  years  old.  At  other  universities  it  is  a 
recent  innovation. 

But  where  is  now  the  goodly  audit  ale  ? 

Byron  :   The  Age  of  Bronze. 

The  table  was  spread  with  coffee,  audit,  devils,  omelets,  hare  pies,  and  all  the  other  articles 
of  the  buttery. — Ouida  :  Granville  de   Vigne,  or  Held  in  Bondage. 

Audley.  To  come  Lord  Audley  over  one,  =  to  gull  him.  The 
origin  of  the  phrase  is  uncertain.  It  has  been  suggested  that  the  term  may 
perpetuate  the  memory  of  a  Wiltshire  nobleman,  Mervin,  Lord  Audley,  also 
Earl  of  Castlehaven  in  Ireland,  who  was  hanged  in  1631  for  robbery. 

A  case  occurred  recently  at  the  Devizes  police  court,  when  a  travelling  actor  was  charged 
with  having  imposed  upon  some  people  in  Lydeway  by  pretending  to  be  the  son  and  heir  of 
the  landlady  (deceased)  of  a  public  house  at  which  he  seems  to  have  called  for  refreshment 
without  any  premeditation  of  the  imposition.  His  excuse  to  the  magistrate  was  that, 
finding  the  people  easily  gulled,  he  thought  he  would  come  Lord  Audley  over  them.— TV^o/^i 
and  Queries^  fifth  series,  v. 

Audley,  John.  A  purely  mythical  person,  like  Dickens's  Mrs.  Harris  or 
the  American  Tom  Collins.  When  Richardson,  the  English  theatrical  show- 
man, manager  of  a  troupe  of  strolling  actors,  deemed  that  his  players  had 


LITERARY  CURIO^T/ES.  71 

worked  long  enough,  and  saw  fresh  audiences  ready"  to  nreh  tip  the  steps  he 
used  to  put  his  head  between  the  -canvas  and  call  out,  "  Is  John  Audlcv 
here?"  at  which  the  curtain  soon  fell,  and  the  strollers  began  to  a  new 
crowd  of  hearers.  "To  John  Audley  a  play,"  meaning  to  cut  it  down  still 
survives  in  theatrical  circles.  ' 

Australian  flag.  This  is  humorously  said  to  be  a  shirt-tail,— an  allusion 
to  the  fact  that  Australian  farmers  and  ranchers  usually  wear  belts  instead  of 
braces,  with  the  inevitable  result  that  a  great  fold  of  shirt  protrudes  between 
trousers  and  waistcoat. 

Auto-da-fe  (Port.,  literally,  "act  of  faith")  originally  meant  the  sentence 
passed  on  convicted  heretics  by  the  courts  of  the  Spanish  Inquisition,  but  the 
phrase  by  extension  grew  to  be  applied  to  the  public  infliction  of  the  penalties 
prescribed,  and  especially  the  severer  ones  of  hanging  and  burning. 

Why,  at  the  last  Auto-da-fe,  in  1824  or  '25,  or  somewhere  there,— it's  a  traveller's  story  but  a 
mighty  knowing  traveller  he  is,— they  had  a  "  heretic"  to  use  up  according  to  the  statutes  pro- 
vided for  the  crime  of  private  opinion.  They  couldn't  quite  make  up  their  minds  to  burn  him 
so  they  only  hunghim  in  a  hogshead  painted  all  over  with  flames  !— Holmes  •  T/ie  Professor 
at  the  Breakfast- Table,  p.  262.  '  "^ 

Autographs  and  Autograph-Hunters.  "  The  tolerant  universe,"  says 
Mr.  Andrew  Lang,  "  permits  men,  women,  and  children  to  be  mighty  auto- 
graph-hunters before  the  Lord."  But  the  universe  would  not  be  so  tolerant 
if  it  were  mainly  composed  of  autograph  huntees  instead  of  hunter.s.  One  of 
the  most  eminent  of  the  former  class,  no  less  a  person,  indeed,  than  Alfred 
Tennyson,  once  told  his  neighbor,  Mrs.  Cameron,  that  he  believed  every  crime 
and  every  vice  in  the  world  was  connected  with  the  passion  for  autographs  and 
anecdotes  and  records  [vide  Taylor's  "  Autobiography").  Another,  Professor 
Huxley,  wrote  in  a  private  letter,  "  I  look  upon  autograph-hunters  as  the 
progeny  of  Cain,  and  treat  their  letters  accordingly;  heaven  forgive  you  if 
you  are  only  an  unusually  ingenuous  specimen  of  the  same  race."  The  letter 
containing  this  passage  was  recently  offered  for  sale  in  London,— a  bit  of 
audacity  that  might  have  made  Cain  blush  for  his  progeny. 

Perhaps,  in  accordance  with  the  larger  charity  of  this  age,  it  might  be  best 
to  treat  autograph-hunting  as  a  disease  rather  than  a  vice.  Once  the  mania 
has  bitten  a  collector,  he  is  no  longer  responsible.  And  the  alarming  feature 
about  the  matter  is  the  prevalence  of  the  complaint.  Sporadic  cases  are, 
indeed,  recorded  at  a  very  high  antiquity;  but  it  is  only  during  the  last  two 
centuries  that  it  has  reached  the  epidemic  stage. 

The  first  case  ever  recorded  was  that  of  a  certain  Atossa.  Little  is  known 
about  her,  save  that  she  was  not  the  mother  of  Darius.  But  she  may  have 
been  the  mother  of  the  autograph-collector.  We  find  her  described  as  the 
first  who  einaToMi  cvvTu^ai.  Shall  we  translate  this  as  the  first  who  collected 
or  who  wrote  letters  t  On  the  construction  of  the  verb  depends  her  glory  or 
her  shame.  But  we  really  are  not  on  solid  ground  until  we  reach  the  great 
name  of  Cicero.  We  know  that  he  had  a  collection,  and  a  fine  one,  for  he 
speaks  of  it  with  gratulation.  The  fever,  even  in  tho.se  early  days,  was  con- 
tagious. It  spread  to  his  contemporaries  ;  it  raged  with  some  violence  among 
his  immediate  successors.  Pliny  mentions  one  Pompeius  Secundus  at  whose 
house  he  had  seen  autographs  of  Cicero,  Augustus,  Virgil,  and  the  Gracchi. 
Yet  Pliny,  who  bows  to  Secundus  as  his  superior,  fiimself  possessed  a  collec- 
tion valued  at  $15,000.  Then  came  the  irruption  of  the  barbarian.s,  and 
good-by  to  the  collector  and  his  collections  !  We  do  not  meet  him  again 
until  the  beginning  of  the  sixteenth  century.  Then  he  reappears  in  the  person 
of  a  certain  Bohemian  squire,  who,  about  the  year  1507,  began  keeping  a  book 
which  recorded  his  exploits  of  the  chase,  and  in  which,  as  a  further  refresher 


72  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

of  the  memory,  lie  collected  the  signatures  of  his  great  hunter  friends.  This 
he  called  his  Albiis  Amicorum,  probably  in  memory  of  the  Roman  Album, 
from  albus,  "  white,"  a  blank  tablet  for  making  entries.  The  cusiom  soon  ex- 
tended all  over  Germany,  not  merely  with  hunters,  but  more  especially  with 
travellers,  who  on  returning  from  the  grand  tour  would  proudly  exhibit  their 
alba  in  proof  of  the  good  company  they  had  kept  while  on  the  road.  By  the 
seventeenth  century  it  had  reached  France,  and  evidently  it  was  just  beginning 
to  be  heard  of  by  Englishmen  anxious  to  emulate  foreign  fashions  in  1642, 
when  James  Howel  included  in  his  "Instructions  for  Forrain  Travel"  this 
item  :  "Some  do  use  to  have  a  small  leger  book  fairly  bound  up  table-book- 
will  [table-book-wise],  wherein  when  they  meet  with  any  person  of  note  and 
eminency,  and  journey  or  pension  with  him  any  time,  they  desire  him  to  write 
his  name,  with  some  short  sentence  which  they  call  the  mot  of  remembrance, 
the  perusall  whereof  will  fill  one  with  no  unpleasing  thoughts  of  dangers  and 
accidents  passed."  Every  one  remembers  how  the  peripatetic  scholar  in 
Goethe's  tragedy  tells  Mephistopheles,  masquerading  in  the  professional  robes 
of  the  learned  Doctor  Faust,  "I  cannot  leave  you  without  presenting  you  with 
my  album  ;  deign  to  honor  it  with  a  souvenir  from  your  harid."  "Gladly," 
says  the  Devil,  and  on  the  virgin  page  he  writes,  "Thou  shalt  be  like  unto 
God,  knowing  the  good  and  the  evil." 

Possibly  the  first  autograph-collector  in  the  modern  sense — that  is,  the  first 
person  who  made  it  a  business  to  gather  together  letters  and  documents  not 
for  their  personal  but  for  their  literary  or  historical  associations — was  Lomenie 
de  Brienne,  ambassador  of  Henry  IV.,  who  died  in  1638.  His  rich  collec- 
tion was  acquired  by  Louis  XIV.,  who  placed  it  in  the  royal  library.  And 
to-day  the  names  of  famous  collectors  can  be  counted  by  the  hundreds,  and  the 
value  of  each  individual  collection  frequently  mounts  up  well  into  the  thou- 
sands. Autograph-dealers  pursue  a  lucrative  business.  Their  catalogues 
throw  a  curious  insight  upon  the  sliding  scale  by  which  such  memorials  of  the 
living  and  the  dead  are  appraised.  In  this  list  or  roll-call  of  fame,  this  price- 
current  of  the  great,  Andrew  Johnson  is  more  highly  valued  than  Lincoln, 
Jefferson,  or  even  Washington  ;  one  of  the  most  insignificant  of  the  signers  of 
the  Declaration  is  ranked  above  all  his  illustrious  colleagues;  and  Piron  lords 
it  over  kings  and  conquerors.  The  inexorable  law  of  supply  and  demand 
steps  in  here  as  elsewhere,  and  regulates  prices  according  to  the  scarcity 
which  limits  the  supply,  and  the  interest  or  eminence  of  the  subject  which 
incites  the  demand.  The  two  rarest  autographs  of  all  are  Shakespeare's  and 
Moliere's.  Of  course  these  are  the  most  expensive.  Of  Moliere's  there  are 
known  to  be  five  in  existence.  Of  Shakespeare's  it  is  claimed  that  there  are 
seven,  three  to  his  will,  two  to  conveyances  of  property,  one  in  a  folio  edition 
of  the  plays,  possessed  by  Mr.  Gunther,  of  Chicago,  and  one  in  Giovanni 
Florio's  translation  of  Montaigne.  The  will  is  in  the  British  Museum,  and  cost 
$1572.  But  the  folio  signature  is  doubted,  and  two  of  the  signatures  to  the  will 
are  thought  to  have  been  filled  in  by  amanuenses.  The  largest  of  Moliere's  is 
but  six  lines  long,  and  is  a  receipt  for  money,  very  queerly  spelt.  Of  the  plays 
of  both  author.s  not  a  fragment  is  known  to  exist. 

Legitimate  collectors  limit  their  fad  to  the  serious  collection  of  autographs 
that  are  in  the  market.  They  look  down  with  scorn  upon  the  amateurs  who 
beg  signatures  that  may  be  had  for  the  asking.  It  is  the  latter,  indeed,  who 
have  brought  the  autograph-hunter  into  disrepute.  They  are  a  sore  trial  to 
the  patience  and  the  morality  of  statesmen  and  men  of  letters,  who  are  ajjt  to 
become  ferociously  and  even  blasphemously  contemptuous.  Daniel  O'Con- 
iiell,  for  example,  once  took  up  his  pen  and  wrote  as  follows  : 

Sir, — I'll  be  damned  if  I  will  send  you  my  autograph. 

Yours,        Daniel  O'Connell. 


LITER AR  Y  CURIOSITIES. 


73 


Others,  less  hibernially  hot-blooded,  employ  a  secretary  or  (most  exasper- 
ating of  all)  use  a  type-writer,  refusing  autographs  to  all  but  the  most  cunning 
applicants.  Huxley  and  Ruskin  have  each  been  obliged  to  prepare  a  printed 
circular,  at  once  a  remonstrance  and  an  apology,  which  they  slip  into  an 
envelope  and  send  off  to  their  begging  correspondents.  Mark  Twain  has 
followed  their  example  in  this  type-written  message: 

I  hope  I  shall  not  offend  you ;  I  shall  certainly  say  nothing  with  the  intention  to  offend  you. 
I  must  explain  myself,  however,  and  I  will  do  it  as  kindly  as  I  can.  What  you  ask  me  to  do 
I  am  asked  to  do  as  often  as  one-half  dozen  times  a  week.  Three  hundred  letters  a  year ! 
One's  impulse  is  to  freely  consent,  but  one's  time  and  necessary  occupations  will  not  permit 
it.  There  is  no  way  but  to  decline  in  all  cases,  making  no  exceptions  ;  and  I  wish  to  call 
your  attention  to  a  thing  which  has  probably  not  occurred  to  you,  and  that  is  this :  that  no 
man  takes  pleasure  in  exercising  his  trade  as  a  pastime.  Writing  is  my  trade,  and  I  exercise 
it  only  when  I  am  obliged  to.  You  might  make  your  request  of  a  doctor,  or  a  builder,  or  a 
sculptor,  and  there  would  be  no  impropriety  in  it,  but  if  you  asked  either  for  a  specimen  of 
his  trade,  his  handiwork,  he  would  be  justified  in  rising  to  a  point  of  order.  It  would  never  be 
fair  to  ask  a  doctor  for  one  of  his  corpses  to  remember  him  by. 

A  rebuff  is  not  always  accepted  by  its  object.  Danger  and  difficulty  add 
zest  to  the  sport ;  his  persistence  becomes  malignant,  his  dodges  subtle  and 
inscrutable.  The  very  fact  that  an  autograph  is  denied  to  fair  means  will 
encourage  foul.  The  hunter  drops  a  note  to  his  victim,  asking  him  in  what 
year  he  wrote  his  sweet  poem  of  the  Ancient  Mariner  (knowing  very  well  that 
he  never  wrote  it,  but  will  be  tickled  by  the  ascription),  or  what  was  the 
middle  name  of  his  father,  or  explains  that  he  is  replenishing  his  library  and 
wishes  a  full  chronological  list  of  the  works  of  his  favorite  author.  lie  knows 
in  his  heart  (the  sly  dog)  that  an  appeal  to  personal  vanity  will  fetch  an  author 
every  time. 

Mr.  William  Black  has  recorded  a  few  out  of  his  own  experience  which  are 
amusing  enough  to  quote  : 

The  most  persistent  correspondent  whom  the  writer  of  books  has  to  face  is  the  autograph- 
hunting  fiend,  whose  ways  are  dark  and  devious  beyond  description.  The  dodges  to  which 
he  will  resort  in  order  to  accomplish  his  diabolical  purpose  are  as  the  sand  of  the  sea-shore  for 
multitude  ;  and  it  is  to  be  feared  that  many  an  honest  letter  is  flung  into  the  waste-paper  basket 
on  the  mere  hasty  and  exasperated  suspicion  that  it  hails  from  an  autograph-hunter.  The  most 
deadly  stratagem  in  this  direction  I  ever  heard  of  was  the  invention  of  a  friend  of  mine,  who 
now  confesses  to  it  as  one  of  the  sins  of  his  youth.  He  wrote  a  letter  to  each  of  the  persons 
whose  autograph  he  coveted,  describing  himself  as  a  ship-owner  and  asking  permission  to 
be  allowed  to  name  his  next  vessel  after  the  particular  celebrity  he  was  addressing.  It  was  a 
fatal  trap.  Nearly  every  one  fell  into  it.  Even  poor  old  Carlyle  had  no  suspicion,  and,  in 
replying  to  the  bogus  ship-owner,  expressed  the  hope  that  the  vessel  to  be  named  after  him 
might  sail  into  a  happier  haven  than  he  had  ever  reached.  I  remember  when  I  was  in  America 
receiving  a  very  pretty  and  charming   letter  from   two  sisters   living  in  one  of  the  Southern 

States.      They  described  their  beautiful  home  on  the  banks  of  the River;   they  were, 

they  informed  me,  living  there  quite  alone,  having  neither  friends  nor  relatives  to  occupy  their 
time  withal ;  and  it  had  occurred  to  them  that,  as  I  was  certain  to  form  a  perfectly  false  idea 
of  American  hospitality  so  long  as  I  remained  in   the  cold  and  callous  North,  would   I  not 

come  down  for  a  week  or  two  \a  this  sylvan  retreat  on  the River,  that  they  might  show 

me  what  a  real  Southern  welcome  was  like  ?  It  was  a  most  innocent  and  idyllic  invitation ; 
and  I  was  describing  it  a  long  time  afterwards  to  Mr.  Bret  Harte,  when  he  interrupted  me. 
'•■  Didn't  the  letter  go  on  something  like  this?"  He  knew  the  rest.  The  idyllic  invitation  had 
been  but  an  autograph-hunting  lure. 

A  good  story  is  told  of  the  late  Prince  Albert  Victor,  eldest  son  of  the 
Prince  of  Wales.  When  a  small  boy  at  school,  finding  himself  "strapped," 
and  knowing,  perhaps,  that  his  royal  father  was  also  in  the  same  condition, 
he  wrote  to  his  grandmother  for  a  loan  of  five  shillings.  Back  came  a  letter 
full  of  grandmotherly  reproof  and  advice,  and  illustrating  precept  by  thrifty 
example  in  withholding  the  five  shillings.  Prince  Albert  promptly  sold  the 
letter  to  a  dealer  for  the  absurdly  low  figure  of  thirty  shillings.  In  1S89,  at  a 
London  sale  of  curios,  it  brought  £\(i. 

But  it  is  French  people  who  excel  in  this  kind  oi  finesse.  In  1S56  a  clever 
D  7 


74  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

rascal,  using  various  pseudonymes,  such  as  Gabriel  Vicaire,  Soriano,  Ludovic 
Picard,  and  others,  wrote  letters  to  many  famous  people  of  the  day,  asking  for 
counsel,  assistance,  or  encouragement.  Sometimes  he  was  an  unhappy  wife 
who  had  determined  at  all  costs  to  fly  from  her  uncongenial  husband,  some- 
times an  ecicylre  of  the  circus,  sometimes  a  young  artist,  unsuccessful  and 
tempted  to  suicide.  The  great  people  responded  like  men — and  women.  Some 
were  lengthy,  some  curt,  some  eloquent,  some  persuasive,  some  sarcastic  : 
never  mind,  they  all  wrote.  Then  the  clever  young  man  hied  him  to  a  noted 
collector,  and  disposed  of  a  lot  of  valuable  autographs  from  Lacordaire,  Heine, 
George  Sand,  Antonelli,  Taglioni,  Dickens,  Abd-el-Kader,  and  heaven  knows 
how  many  others.  Not  until  the  collector  recognized  the  limited  number 
of  themes  treated  in  his  newly-acquired  treasures  did  the  ingenuity  of  the 
scheme  stand  revealed. 

But  ingenuity  has  raised  up  ingenuity  to  baffle  it.  The  schemes  of  the 
hunter  are  met  by  counter-schemes  of  the  intended  victim.  A  gentleman — 
so  described,  at  least,  in  the  paper  {The  Bookmart)  from  which  this  note  is 
cribbed — laid  a  wager  once  that  he  would  get  an  autograph  out  of  Lord  Tenny- 
son. He  sat  down  and  wrote  a  polite  note,  asking  the  noble  lord  which,  in 
his  opinion,  was  the  best  dictionary  of  the  English  language, — Webster's  or 
Ogilvie's.  That  will  fetch  him,  thought  the  man  who  set  the  trap.  Did  it  ? 
By  the  next  post  came  a  half-sheet  of  note-paper,  on  which  was  carefully 
pasted  the  word  "  Ogilvie,"  cut  out  of  the  correspondent's  own  letter. 

A  certain  eminent  American  has  a  second-cousin,  so  it  is  said,  of  the  same 
name  as  his  own.  To  tiiis  accommodating  relative  he  turns  over  all  requests 
for  sentiments  or  signatures.  The  second-cousin  answers  the  letters  and  signs 
his  own  name.  Thus  all  parties  to  the  transaction  are  satisfied.  A  refine- 
ment of  authorial  ingenuity  makes  the  hunter  pay  for  his  autograph.  Kate 
Field,  approached  by  a  fiend,  wrote  in  his  album  the  significant  information 
that  he  could  subscribe  for  her  periodical  at  four  dollars  a  year.  What  could 
he  do  but  take  the  hint.''  Jean  Ingelow,  pestered  to  deatii  by  importunities, 
finally  made  a  number  of  copies  of  her  favorite  poems,  dated  them,  and  placed 
them  in  the  hands  of  her  American  publishers  to  be  sold  at  two  dollars  apiece, 
— the  money  to  be  devoted  to  a  charitable  purpose. 

Horace  Greeley,  in  his  "  Recollections  of  a  Busy  Life,"  records  the  fact  that 
a  gushing  youth  once  wrote  him  to  this  effect : 

Dear  Sir  :  Among  your  literarj'  treasures  you  have  doubtless  several  autographs  of  our 
country's  late  lamented  poet,  Edgar  A.  Poe.  If  so,  and  you  can  spare  one,  please  enclose  it 
to  me  and  receive  the  thanks  of  yours  truly. 

Mr.  Greeley  promptly  responded  as  follows  : 


Dear  Sir  :  Among  my  literary  treasures  there  happens  to  be  exactly  one  autograph  of  our 
country's  late  lamented  poet,  Edgar  A.  Poe.  It  is  his  note  of  hand  for  $50.00,  with  my  endorse- 
ment across  the  back.  It  cost  me  e.\actly  ;j5o.75  (including  protest),  and  you  can  have  it  for 
half  that  amount.     Yours,  respectfully. 


Mr.  Greeley  feelingly  adds,  "That  autograph,  I  regret  to  say,  remains  on 
my  hands,  and  is  for  sale  at  the  original  price,  despite  the  lapse  of  time  and  the 
depreciation  of  our  currency." 

It  was  on  this  incident  that  Bayard  Taylor  based  the  admirable  parody  of 
Poe  which  appears  in  his  "  Diversions  of  the  Echo  Club."  Here  is  a  speci- 
men stanza : 

'Twas  the  random  runes  I  wrote 
At  the  bottom  of  the  note 
(\Vrote  and  freely 
Gave  to  Greeley), 
In  the  middle  of  the  night. 
In  the  _yellow,  moonless  night, 
When  the  stars  were  out  of  sight. 


LITERAR  V  CURIOSITIES.  75 

When  my  pulses  like  a  knell 

(Israfel !) 
Danced  with  dim  and  dying  fays 
O'er  the  ruin  of  my  days, 
O'er  the  dimeless,  timeless  days, 

When  the  fifty,  drawTi  at  thirty. 

Seeming  thrifty,  yet  the  dirty 
Lucre  of  the  market,  was  the  most  that  I  could  raise ! 

Ave  Imperator!  morituri  te  salutant !  (L.,  "Hail,  O  Emperor'  we 
who  are  about  to  die  salute  thee  !")     The  cry  with  which  the  gladiators  in  the 
arena  acknowledged  the  presence  of  the  Csesar  before  beginning  their  fights. 
"  O  Csesar !  we  who  are  about  to  die 

Salute  you  !"  was  the  gladiators'  cry 

In  the  arena,  standing  face' to  face 

With  death  and  with  the  Roman  populace. 

So  sings  Longfellow  in  his  "Morituri  Salutamus,"  a  poem  recited  at  the 
Fiftieth  Anniversary  of  the  class  of  1825  in  Bowdoin  College.  Suetonius,  in 
his  life  of  Claudius,  ch.  xxi.,  relates  how  at  a  gladiatorial  fight  on  the  Fuc'ine 
Lake,  the  Emperor,  instead  of  the  usual  valete  ("  farewell"),  replied,  Avele  vos, 
a  customary  parting  greeting,  which  the  gladiators  insisted  on  taking  in  its 
literal  sense  of  "  Live  !"  or  "  Long  life  to  you  !"  and  refused  to  fight.  But 
Claudius  urged  and  compelled  them  to  proceed  with  the  show. 

Wellington  and  Napoleon  !  It  is  a  wonderful  phenomenon  that  the  human  mind  can,  at  the 
same  time,  think  of  both  these  names.  There  can  be  no  greater  contrast  than  the  two,  even 
in  their  external  appearance.  Wellington,  the  dumb  ghost,  with  an  ashy  gray  soul  in  a  buck- 
ram body,  a  wooden  smile  in  his  freezing  face— and  by  the  side  of  that  think  of  the  figure  of 
Napoleon,  every  inch  a  god  !  That  figure  never  disappears  from  my  memorj'.  I  still  see  him, 
high  on  his  steed,  with  eternal  eyes  in  his  marble-like,  imperial  face,  glancing  calm  as  destiny 
on  the  guards  defiling  past — he  was  then  sending  them  to  Russia,  and  the  old  grenadiers 
glanced  up  at  him,  so  terribly  devoted,  so  ail-consciously  serious,  so  proud  in  death, — 
Te,  Caesar,  morituri  salutant. 

Heine  :  English  Fragments. 

Axe  to  grind,  An.  This  phrase  has  frequently  been  attributed  to  Benja- 
min  Franklin,  but  it  really  belongs  to  Charles  Miner  (1780-1865),  and  occurs 
in  an  essay  entitled  "  Who'll  turn  the  Grindstone.'"  originally  contributed  to 
the  Wilkesbarre  Gleatier,  a  country  newspaper  in  the  interior  of  Pennsylvania,  in 
1811.  The  author  says  that  when  he  was  a  little  boy  he  was  accosted  one  cold 
winter  morning  by  a  man  with  an  axe  on  his  shoulder.  "  My  pretty  boy,"  said 
he,  "  has  your  father  a  grindstone  ?"  "  Yes,  sir,"  said  L  "  You  are  a  fine  little 
fellow,"  said  he:  "will  you  let  me  grind  my  axe  upon  it.?"  Pleased  by  the 
compliment  of  "fine  little  fellow,"  the  gentleman's  bidding  was  done  by  the 
boy,  water  being  procured  for  him  and  the  grindstone  kept  in  motion  until  the 
boy's  hands  were  blistered,  the  smiling  gentleman  keeping  up  his  flattery 
meanwhile.  Before  the  grinding  was  done,  the  school-bell  rang,  and  after  the 
axe  had  the  proper  edge  on  it  the  man  ungraciously  exclaimed,  "  Now,  you 
little  rascal,  you've  played  the  truant ;  scud  to  school,  or  you'll  rue  it."  The 
author  says  that  he  felt  very  much  wounded  and  never  forgot  the  incident, 
and  ever  afterward  when  he  saw  one  person  flattering  another  he  said  to  him- 
self, "That  man  has  an  axe  to  grind." 

The  essay,  it  will  be  seen,  is  imitated  from  Franklin's  "  Don't  pay  too  much 
for  your  whistle."  To  make  the  analogy  more  complete,  the  series  to  which 
it  belonged  was  gathered  up  into  a  book  under  the  title  of  "Essays  from  the 
Desk  of  Poor  Robert  the  Scribe,"  Doylestown,  181 5. 


76  HANDY-BOOK  OF 


B. 

B,  the  second  letter  of  the  English  alphabet,  as  it  was  of  the  Phoenician 
and  is  in  most  of  the  alphabets  borrowed  from  the  PhcEnician,  is  the  beta  of 
the  Greeks,  the  heth  of  the  Phoenicians.     Beth  means  a  "  house." 

Babies  in  the  eyes,  a  common  locution  for  the  reflection  of  one's  self  in 
another's  pupils.     Thus,  Herrick  in  "  The  Kiss  :" 

It  is  an  active  flame  that  flies 
First  to  the  babies  in  the  eyes. 
Inasmuch  as  lovers  are  fond  of  gazing  in  one  another's  eyes,  an  obvious 
conceit  suggested  the  phrase  "  to  look"  or  "  to  make  babies  in  the  eyes,"  which 
is  sufficiently  exemplified  in  the  following  passages  : 

Be  sure  when  you  come  into  company  that  you  do  not  stand  staring  the  men  in  the  face  as 
if  you  were  making  babies  in  their  eyes. — Quevedo. 

Look  babies  in  your  eyes,  my  pretty  sweet  one. 
Beaumont  and  Fletch 
So  when  thou  saw'st  in  nature's  cabinet 
Stella  thou  straight  look'st  babies  in  her  eyes. 

Sidney:  Astrophel  and  Stella. 
See  where  little  Cupid  lies 
Looking  babies  in  the  eyes. 

Drayton. 
And  pictures  in  our  eyes  to  get 
Was  all  our  propagation. 

Donne  :   The  Ecstasy. 
Think  ye  by  gazing  on  each  other's  eyes 
To  multiply  your  lovely  selves  ? 

Shelley  :  Prometheus  Unbound. 

Backsheesh,  an  Oriental  term  for  a  present  of  money,  a  gratuity,  a  poiir- 
boire. 

There  are  not  many  words,  even  among  those  of  foreign  extraction,  of  which  the  orthog- 
raphy offers  no  less  than  thirteen  alternatives.  We  have,  however,  the  authority  of  the 
great  English  dictionary  now  issuing  (very  deliberately)  from  the  Clarendon  press,  for  de- 
claring that  backsheesh  is  one  of  the  few  which  enjoy  this  privilege.  Originally  of  Persian 
origin,  it  seems  to  have  made  its  first  appearance  in  Western  literature  very  soon  after  the 
death  of  Shakespeare,  for  in  1625  we  find  "  bacsheese  (as  they  say  in  the  Arabique  tongue), 
that  is  gratis  freely"  (Purchas:  Pilgrinies,  ii.  1340).  Whether  or  no  the  term  ever  really 
had  this  meaning,  it  were  difficult  now  to  determine,  but  assuredly  for  many  years  past  it  has 
signified  something  very  different.  In  what  may  be  called  its  most  vulgar  and  aggravating 
sense,  it  is  the  first  word  to  greet  the  English  traveller,  and  the  last  to  ring  in  his  ears  as 
he  turns  his  face  homeward.  Probably  no  other  single  vocable  rises  with  such  persistent 
frequency  as  this  to  the  lips  of  the  dusky  Oriental.  It  is  like  what  the  mathematicians  call 
a  constant  quantity,  a  ground  discord  which  underlies  his  every  chord,  a  sort  of  spectral  diapa- 
son from  which  there  is  no  escape. — Alacmillan's  Magazine,  August,  1891. 

Back-talk,  in  American  slang,  "sass,"  impudence,  the  unwarranted  retort 
of  a  subordinate  to  his  employer,  or  of  an  inferior  to  a  superior. 

"  That's  exactly  what  I  came  here  for  this  evening,  Miss  Mildred." 

The  young  man  laid  aside  his  hat,  cane,  and  gloves. 

"  That's  exactly  what  I  came  for,"  he  repeated,  possessing  himself  of  her  hand.  "  I  want 
you  for  my  wife." 

"  You  might  have  saved  yourself  the  trouble,  Mr.  Fairball,"  exclaimed  the  girl,  taking  her 
hand  away.     "  I  shall  never  marry  you." 

"  Another  word  of  back-talk  like  that,"  said  the  young  base-ball  umpire,  quietly  but  firmly- 
passing  his  arm  around  her  waist  and  pulling  her  head  down  on  his  shoulder,  "will  cost  you 
twenty-five  dollars." — Chicago  Tribune. 

Back'ward,  Looking.  The  superstition  of  the  ill  luck  of  looking  back- 
ward, or  returning,  is  a  very  ancient  one,  originating  doubtless  from  the  story 
of  Lot's  wife,  who  "  looked  back  from  behind  him"  when  he  was  led  by  an 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  77 

angel  outside  the  doomed  City  of  the  Plain.  In  Robert's  "  Oriental  Illustra- 
tions" it  is  stated  to  be  "considered  exceedingly  unfortunate  in  llindostan  for 
men  or  women  to  look  back  when  they  leave  their  house.  Accordingly,  if  a 
man  goes  out  and  leaves  something  behind  him  which  his  wife  knows  he  will 
want,  she  does  not  call  him  to  turn  or  look  back,  but  takes  or  sends  it  after  him  ; 
and  if  some  great  emergency  obliges  him  to  look  back,  he  will  not  then  pro- 
ceed on  the  business  he  was  about  to  transact."  In  this  connection  a  curious 
parallel  between  the  Bible  and  Hesiod  may  be  noted:  "No  man  having  put 
his  hand  to  the  plough  and  looking  back  is  fit  for  the  kingdom  of  God"  (Luke 
ix.  62),  and  "  He  who  is  intent  upon  his  work,  drawing  the  straight  furrow,  never 
looks  back  upon  his  friends,  but  keeps  his  mind  upon  his  work"  (Works  and 
Days,  ii.  61-62). 

Bacon,  To  save  one's,  a  proverbial  saying,  meaning,  in  Biblical  phrase, 
to  escape  by  the  skin  of  one's  teeth,  to  keep  one's  self  from  harm  by  a  narrow 
margin.  It  is  not  impossible  that  there  is  some  allusion  here  to  the  Duninow 
flitch  (q.  v.).  A  man  and  his  wife  who  stopped  short  when  on  the  verge  of  a 
quarrel  might  be  said  to  have  just  saved  their  bacon.  An  equally  plausible 
derivation  is  suggested  by  a  correspondent  o\  Notes  and  Queries,  2d  series,  iv. 
132  :  "  When  a  pig  is  killed,  it  is  the  custom  in  some  of  the  southern  countries 
of  Europe,  as  well  as  in  many  parts  of  England,  to  remove  the  bristles  from 
the  dead  pig's  hide,  not  by  scalding,  but  by  singeing.  This  is  an  operation 
of  some  nicety;  for  too  much  singeing  would  spoil  the  bacon.  But  practice 
makes  perfect  ;  and  by  the  aid  of  ignited  stubble,  straw,  or  paper  the  object 
is  effected.  The  bristles  are  all  singed  off,  and  the  bacon  remains  intact. 
This  operation  is  in  Portugal  called  chamuscar."  Hence  the  phrase  cheira  a 
chamusco  ("he  smells  of  singeing"),  which  by  extension  was  applied  to  any 
suspected  heretic,  or  to  one  who  was  secretly  a  Jew,  that  is  to  say,  "  to  one  who 
deserved  to  be  burnt,  and  acted  in  a  way  that  was  very  likely  to  lead  to  it" 
(Moraes).  It  readily  follows  that  the  man  might  be  said  to  have  just  saved  his 
bacon  who  had  narrowly  escaped  the  penalty  of  being  burned  alive.  The  only 
fault  with  this  ingenious  theory  is  that  it  lacks  illustrative  examples  to  bridge 
over  the  chasm  between  a  recognized  metaphor  and  a  chartered  proverbial 
saying.  Dr.  Murray  traces  the  use  of  the  expression  in  English  as  far  back 
as  1691  :  "No,  they'll  conclude  I  do  it  to  save  my  bacon." — Weesils,  i.  5. 

But  here  I  say  the  Turks  were  much  mistaken 
Who,  hating  hogs,  yet  wished  to  save  their  bacon. 

Byron  :  Don  Juan,  vii.  42.  J 

Bad  egg,  American  slang  for  a  rascal,  a  black  sheep,  a  person  whose 
reputation  is  odorous. 

There  is  some  philosophy  in  the  remark  that  a  man  may  be  a  bad  egg,  and  yet  not  be  a 
nuisance  until  he  is  broke. — Sporting  Times. 

Bag.  Both  as  a  verb  and  as  a  noun  this  word  is  put  to  many  strange  uses  in 
current  slang.  As  a  verb  it  may  mean  to  secure,  to  obtain  (an  extension  of 
the  sporting  phrase,  meaning  to  put  or  enclose  game  in  a  bag),  and  hence  to 
steal,  to  capture.  In  sailors'  and  printers'  slang,  bag  as  a  noun  means  a  pot 
of  beer,  and  to  get  one's  head  in  a  bag  is  to  drink.  Other  jjhrases  in  common 
colloquial  use  are  to  give  the  bag  or  sack,  meaning  to  dismiss  from  one's 
service  ;  to  let  the  cat  out  of  the  bag ;  to  give  one  the  bag  to  hold,— to 
leave  him  in  the  lurch,— and  to  put  one  in  a  bag,  which  latter  phrase  Fuller 
thus  explains:  "They  [the  Welsh]  had  a  kind  of  plaie  wherein  the  stronger 
who  prevailed  put  the  weaker  into  a  sack  ;  and  hence  we  have  borrowed  our 
English  by-word,  to  express  such  betwixt  whom  there  is  apparent  odds  of 
Strength  :  He  is  able  to  put  him  up  in  a  \,z.gg&."— Worthies :  Cardigan,  w.  579. 
7* 


78  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Baggage-Smasher,  in  American  slang,  a  name  humorously  given  to  a 
railway  porter,  because  of  his  reckless  way  of  handling  luggage,  also  to  a 
thief  who  hangs  about  railway-stations  waiting  for  a  chance  to  steal  the 
luggage. 

Fashionable  people  who  have  spent  the  summer  at  the  watering-places  or  at  the  sea-side, 
but  have  now  returned  to  the  cities,  assert  that  the  baggage-smasher  has  become  more  de- 
structive than  ever.  The  baggage-smasher  is  indeed  a  terror.  In  fact,  there  are  two  of  them  : 
the  one  who  flits  from  station  to  station  and  dumps  your  poor  dumb  trunk  with  force  enough 
to  drive  piles  in  a  government  breakwater,  and  the  one  who  loiters  around  the  depot  watching 
for  his  chance  to  shatter  your  baggage.  The  depot  baggage-man  is  the  most  culpable  of  the 
two  species.  In  his  long  and  dark  career  of  smashing  trunks,  he  has  evidently  knocked  the 
hoops  off  his  conscience,  and  there  is  no  remorse  brave,  foolish,  or  reckless  enough  to  tackle 
his  heart-strings  and  play  on  \.\x^XR..— Texas  Si/tings,  November  3,  1S88. 

Baker,  To  spell.  To  attempt  a  difficult  task.  In  the  old  spelling-books 
baker  was  the  first  word  of  two  syllables,  and  seemed  an  almost  insuperable 
obstacle  to  the  child  who  had  encountered  only  words  of  one  syllable. 

If  an  old  man  will  marry  a  young  wife,  why,  then — why,  then — why,  then — he  must  spell 
baker. — Longfellow  :  New  England  Tragedies. 

Baker's  Dozen.  Thirteen.  The  phrase  is  often  used  colloquially  for  good 
measure  running  over.  In  mediaeval  times  bakers  were  kept  rigidly  under 
the  eye  of  the  law,  their  vocation  being  one  on  which  the  public  health  and 
prosperity  largely  depended.  From  the  time  of  King  John,  their  profits  were 
regulated  by  enactment,  due  allowance  being  made  for  labor,  cost  of  fuel  and 
raw  material,  wear  and  tear  of  the  oven,  services  of  assistants,  and  expenses 
attending  the  sale.  Stringent  penalties,  changed  by  a  law  of  Edward  II.  from 
heavy  fines  to  the  pillory,  were  inflicted  for  offences  against  the  required  weight 
or  quality  of  loaves.  Hence  there  grew  up  a  precautionary  custom  for  bakers 
to  give  a  surplus  loaf,  called  the  in-bread  or  the  vantage-loaf,  to  all  purchasers 
of  a  dozen.  To  a  dozen  of  rolls  fourteen  were  allowed.  This  custom  is  still 
kept  up  in  certain  parts  of  Scotland.  And  in  the  wholesale  book-trade  in 
England  to  this  day  a  publisher's  dozen  is  thirteen  copies.  Henry  Hudson, 
when  he  discovered  the  bay  which  bears  his  name  (1610),  gave  to  a  cluster  of 
thirteen  or  fourteen  islands  on  the  east  shore  the  name  of  Baker's  Dozen : 
these  were  given  in  D'Anville's  French  Atlas  under  the  title  "La  Douzaine 
du  Boulanger." 

How  bakers  thirteen  loaves  do  give 

All  for  a  shilling,  and  thrive  well  and  live. 

Taylor  the  Water  Poet  :   Travels  of  Twelve  Pence. 
In  this  volume  there  are  several  feigned  stories ;  also,  there  are  some  morals,  and  some 
dialogues,  but  they  are  as  the  advantage  loaf  of  bread  in  the  baker's  dozen. 

Margaret,  Duchess  of  Newcastle  :  Nature's  Picture  (1656). 

Balaam,  a  bit  of  journalistic  slang  which  was  popularized  by  Blackwood's 
Magazine  in  the  days  of  Christopher  North,  is  defined  by  Lockhart  as  "  the 
cant  name  for  asinine  paragraphs  about  monstrous  productions  of  nature  and 
the  like,  kept  standing  in  type  to  be  used  whenever  the  real  news  of  the 
day  leave  an  awkward  space  that  must  be  filled  up  somehow."  (Life  of  Scott, 
Ixx.  622  (1842).)  Of  course  it  is  an  allusion  to  Numbers  xxii.  30,  where 
Balaam's  ass  spoke  "  with  man's  voice."  A  balaam's  box  was  a  receptacle 
for  old  jokes,  anecdotes,  and  other  chestnuts  which  were  editorially  used  to 
fill  up  space.  It  now  survives  in  the  sense  of  a  waste-basket  for  rejected 
manuscripts. 

An  essay  for  the  Edinburgh  Review  in  "  the  old  unpolluted  English  language"  would 
have  been  consigned  by  the  editor  to  his  Balaam  basket. — Hall  :  Modern  English. 

Bald-headed  Ro-w,  in  America,  a  humorous  colloquialism  for  the  front 
seats  of  the  orchestra  or  parquet  (the  English  pit)  in  theatres,  so  named  by 
the  fun-makers  of  the  press,  who  assume  that  such  seats  are  always  taken  by 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


79 


old  or  middle-aged  respectability,  anxious  to  get  as  close  as  possible  to  the 
favorites  of  the  foot-lights.  It  is  a  part  of  the  assumption  that  the  favorites 
in  their  turn  reserve  their  choicest  smiles  for  tliese  ancient  admirers.  Dr. 
Wm.  Hammond,  in  a  semi-jocose  essay,  "Will  the  coming  man  be  bald?" 
{Foru7n,  No.  l),  makes  indirect  allusion  to  this  popular  fancy  :  "The  principle 
of  natural  selection,  though  up  to  this  time  an  insignificant  influence  in  causing 
baldness,  is  beginning  to  add  its  great  force  to  the  accomplishment  of  what 
is  evidently  an  object  of  nature.  Women,  who  in  general,  even  within  the 
knowledge  of  the  present  generation,  did  not  take  kindly  to  bald-headed  men, 
are  gradually  overcoming  their  prejudices,  and  see  in  the  bare  head  an  element 
of  manly  beauty.  Should  this  tendency  become  wide-spread,  the  days  of  hair 
on  the  head  of  men  are  numbered,  and  a  few  hundred  years  will  see  the  end. 
Some  nations,  however,  will  reach  this  stage  of  development  sooner  than 
others.  If  we  may  judge  from  present  appearances,  and  from  our  knowledge 
of  his  advance  in  other  directions,  the  American  will  distance  all  competitors 
in  this  race."  * 

Ballads.  Andrew  Fletcher  of  Saltoun  is  remembered  in  literature  by  a 
single  phrase,  and  that  phrase  is  not  his  own.  Writing  to  the  Marquis  of 
Montrose,  he  says,  "  I  knew  a  very  wise  man  that  believed  that  if  a  man 
were  permitted  to  make  all  the  ballads  he  need  not  care  who  should  make 
the  laws  of  a  nation."  Much  ingenious  conjecture  has  been  wasted  upon  the 
identity  of  the  wise  man.  As  good  a  guess  as  any  names  John  Selden,  who  was 
a  friend  and  contemporary  of  Fletcher's. 

The  French  proverb,  "France  is  an  absolute  monarchy  tempered  by 
songs,"  emphasizes  the  important  part  which  po|)ular  poetry  may  play  in 
political  matters.  And  Beaumarchais's  phrase,  "Tout  finit  pardes  chansons" 
("Everything  ends  with  songs,"  Mar  iage  de  Figaro],  \s  a  recognition  of  the  fact 
that  not  only  do  the  French  people  find  subjects  for  mirth  in  the  most  serious 
things,  but  also  that  the  songs  in  which  they  embody  their  mirth  may  have  a 
grave  significance.  The  truth  of  this  was  well  exemplified  when  Soubise 
announced  his  defeat  at  Rossbach,  in  1757,  by  writing  to  Louis  XV.,  "The 
rout  of  your  army  is  complete.  I  cannot  say  how  many  of  your  oflicers  have 
been  killed,  captured,  or  lost."  The  letter  was  greeted  with  a  shout  of 
laughter.     Here  is  one  of  the  songs : 

Soubise  dit,  la  lanteme  ^  la  main, 

J'ai  beau  chercher  ou  diable  est  mon  armee ; 
Elle  etait  li  pourtant  hier  matin. 
Me  I'a-t-on  prise,  ou  I'aurais-je  egaree? 

(Soubise,  lantern  in  hand,  cries,  "I  can't  find  out  where  the  devil  my 
army  is.  Yet  it  was  here  yesterday  morning.  Has  it  been  taken  from  me,  or 
have  I  mislaid  it  V) 

Duruy,  in  his  comment  on  this  incident,  says,  "The  judge  most  to  be  feared 
then  was  not  the  king,  it  was  the  public,  upon  whom  everything  began  to 
depend,  and  who  punished  the  incapacity  of  generals  and  the  mistakes  of 
ministers  with  biting  satires." — History  of  France,  ii.  452. 

Ballooning,  an  American  slang  term  of  no  wide  popularity,  meaning  ex- 
aggerating, indulging  in  buncombe,  pulling  the  long  bow.  The  origin  of  the 
phrase  is  attributed  to  a  Yankee  who  boasted  that  he  had  fought  a  duel  in  a 
balloon  and  brought  down  his  adversary,  balloon  and  all.  Yet  just  such  a  duel 
was  actually  fought  in  Paris  in  1S08.  A  M.  de  Grandpre  and  a  M.  le  Pique, 
having  quarrelled  about  a  lady,  agreed  to  have  it  out  in  balloons,  each  party  to 
fire  at  the  other's  balloon  and  try  to  bring  it  down.  A  month  was  consumed 
in  preparing  the  balloons,  exactly  similar  in  size  and  shape  ;  and  on  a  fine  day 
the  principals  and  their  seconds  ascended  from  the  Tuileries  Garden,  armed 


'8o  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

with  blunderbusses.  When  they  were  about  half  a  mile  up,  and  some  eighty 
yards  apart,  the  signal  was  given,  and  M.  le  Pique  missed.  M.  de  Grandpre, 
however,  made  a  successful  shot,  and  his  opponent's  balloon  went  down  with 
tremendous  rapidity,  both  principal  and  second  being  instantly  killed, — much 
to  the  satisfaction  of  the  spectators. 

Banbury  saint,  a  rigid,  puritanical  hypocrite.  Even  before  the  Puritan 
era,  Banbury  seems  to  have  been  noted  for  the  Phariseeism  of  its  inhabi- 
tants, so  that,  according  to  a  popular  saying,  men  were  in  the  habit  of  hanging 
their  cats  on  Monday  for  catching  mice  on  Sunday.  In  proof  of  the  antiquity 
of  the  phrase.  Dr.  Murray  cites  from  a  letter  addressed  by  Latimer  to  Henry 
VIII.,  about  1528,  the  expression,  "Their  laws,  customs,  ceremonies,  and 
Banbury  glosses."  Banbury  cheese  was  a  poor,  thin  cheese.  Thus,  Shake- 
speare, in  "Merry  Wives  of  Windsor,"  Act  i.  Sc.  i.,  makes  Bardolph  com- 
pare Slender  to  a  Banbury  cheese,  in  ridicule  of  his  eponyniic  slenderness. 

Banyan-  or  Banian-days,  a  nautical  phr.ise  ajjplied  to  those  days  on  which 
sailors  are  allowed  no  flesh  meat.  The  Banians  are  a  caste  of  Hindoo  traders 
who  entirely  abstain  from  animal  food.  But  it  is  also  suggested  that  the  term 
arises  from  those  sanitary  arrangements  in  tropical  clin^ates  which  counsel  the 
substitution  of  banyans  and  other  fruit  on  very  hot  days. 

They  told  me  that  on  Mondays,  Wednesdays,  and  Fridays  the  ship's  company  had  no 
allowance  of  meat,  and  that  these  meagre  days  were  called  Banyan-days,  the  reason  of  which 
they  did  not  know,  but  I  have  since  learned  they  take  their  denomination  from  a  sect  of  devo- 
tees in  some  parts  of  the  East  Indies,  who  never  taste  flesh.— Smollett  :  Roderick  Ra7idom, 
ch.  XXV. 

May  your  honor  never  know  a  banyan-day,  and  a  sickly  season  for  you  into  the  bargain  ! — 
Marryat  :  Japhet  in  Search  of  a  Father. 

Barking  up  the  -wrong  tree,  an  American  locution  applied  to  one  who 
is  at  fault  in  his  purpose  or  in  the  means  to  attain  it.  An  allusion  to  the  mistake 
made  by  dogs  when  they  fancy  they  have  "  treed"  the  game,  which  has  really 
escaped  by  leaping  from  one  tree  to  another. 

Professor  Rose,  who  hit  this  town  last  spring,  is  around  calling  us  a  fugitive  from  justice, 
and  asking  why  the  police  don't  do  something.  Gently,  Professor.  When  we  left  Xenia,  O.,  the 
sheriff  patted  us  on  the  back  and  lent  us  half  a  dollar.  We  are  the  only  man  in  this  town  who 
doesn't  turn  pale  when  the  stage  comes  in,  and  the  only  one  who  doesn't  break  for  the  sage- 
brush when  it  is  announced  that  the  United  States  Marshal  is  here.  We  ain't  rich  or  pretty, 
but  we  are  good,  and  the  Professor  is  barking  up  the  wrong  tree. —  The  Arizona  Kicker,  va. 
Detroit  Free  Press,  October,  1888. 

Bar'l,  a  slangy  abbreviation  of  the  word  barrel,  meaning  a  barrel  of  money. 
In  the  spring  of  1S76,  when  the  Democratic  party  was  selecting  its  delegates 
to  the  National  Convention  which  subsequently  nominated  Samuel  J.  Tilden 
for  the  Presidency,  the  Globe  Democrat  oi  St.  Louis  alluded  to  that  gentleman 
as  the  candidate  with  a  bar'l,  meaning  that  he  was  able  and  willing  to  spend 
large  sums  to  influence  his  election.  The  phrase  was  caught  up  all  over  the 
country,  and  bar'l  became  synonymous  with  wealth  in  the  case  of  a  political 
candidate. 

Barnacle  goose,  a  species  of  maritime  goose,  known  also  as  the  Solan  or 
Brant  goose,  and  anciently  called  aves  Hibernicae  ("  Irish  birds"),  or,  in  the 
diminutive,  Hiberniculse.  The  dropping  of  the  first  syllable  of  the  latter 
word  converted  them  into  Berniculae,  and  at  this  etymological  stage  their 
name  was  easily  confounded  with  that  of  the  bivalves  known  as  Bernaculae, 
or  barnacles.  Hence  arose  the  myth  that  the  goose  was  sprung  from  the 
barnacle,  an  extraordinary  instance  of  the  power  of  etymology.  So  early  as 
the  twelfth  century,  Giraldus  Cambrensis  says,  in  his  "Topography  of 
Ireland," — 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  8l 

They  are  like  marsh-geese,  but  somewhat  smaller,  and  produced  from  fir  timber  tossed 
along  the  sea,  and  are  at  first  like  gum  ;  afterwards  they  hang  down  by  their  beaks  as  from  a 
sea-weed  attached  to  the  timber,  surrounded  by  shells,  in  order  to  grow  more  freely.  Having 
thus,  in  process  of  time,  been  clothed  with  a  strong  coat  of  feathers,  they  either  fall  into  the 
water  or  fly  freely  away  into  the  air.  They  derive  their  food  and  growth  from  the  sap  of  the 
wood,  or  the  sea,  by  a  secret  and  most  wonderful  process  of  alimentation.  I  have  frequently, 
with  my  own  eyes,  seen  more  than  a  thousand  of  these  small  bodies  of  birds  hanging  down  on 
the  sea-shore  from  a  piece  of  timber,  enclosed  in  shells  and  already  formed.  They  do  not 
breed  and  lay  eggs  like  other  birds,  nor  do  they  ever  hatch  any  eggs,  nor  do  they  build  nests 
in  any  corner  of  the  earth.  Hence  bishops  and  clergymen  in  some  parts  of  Ireland  do  not 
scruple  to  dine  off  these  birds  at  time  of  fasting,  because  they  are  not  flesh  or  born  of  flesh. 

On  this  he  indulges  in  a  little  mediaeval  speculation  : 

But  these  are  thus  drawn  into  sin,  for,  if  a  man  during  Lent  had  dined  off  Adam,  our  first 
parent,  who  was  not  bom  of  flesh,  surely  we  should  not  consider  him  innocent  of  having  eaten 
that  which  is  flesh. 

It  is  not  necessary  to  call  into  question  Giraldus's  truthfulness,  especially  as 
his  testimony  is  confirmed  by  Holinshed  and  other  witnesses  of  repute.  The 
barnacle  shell-fish  do  attach  themselves  in  great  numbers  to  any  floating 
wreck  or  log,  and  their  byssus  or  beard  protruding  to  an  extraordinary  length 
through  the  opening  of  the  shell  bears  a  not  remote  resemblance  to  the  pin- 
ions of  a  fledgling  bird,  while  the  process  by  which  they  attach  themselves  to 
the  timber  suggests  a  beak.  These  facts,  with  the  similarity  of  name,  sug- 
gested their  eventual  development  into  the  geese  which  frequent  the  coast  in 
incredible  numbers,  and  whose  nests,  built  in  remote  and  inaccessible  rocks, 
were  rarely  revealed  to  human  search. 

Bath.  Go  to  Bath  is  a  popular  locution  meaning,  You  are  crazy,  you  are 
talking  nonsense,— in  allusion  to  the  fact  that  physicians  ordered  invalids  and 
the  insane  to  go  to  Bath,  to  drink  the  medicinal  waters  there.  Bath  was  a 
famous  resort  from  the  early  part  of  the  sixteenth  century.  The  miscellaneous 
character  of  the  crowds  who  flocked  there  seems  to  have  excited  the  scorn  of 
the  Earl  of  Rochester,  who  thus  describes  the  place  : 

There  is  a  place,  adown  a  gloomy  vale. 

Where  burdened  nature  lays  her  nasty  tail ; 

Ten  thousand  pilgrims  thither  do  resort. 

For  ease,  disease,  for  lechery  and  sport. 

Bath  brick,  Bath  buns,  and  Bath  chairs  are  all  "well  known.  But,  strangest 
of  all,  Bath  has  provided  the  vocabulary  of  French  argot  with  the  adjective 
bath  or  bate,  =  A  l,  or  first-class,  used  in  phrases,  "  c'est  bien  bath,"  etc. 
Towards  1848  note-paper  of  a  superior  quality  made  in  Bath  was  hawked  about 
Paris  streets  at  a  low  price.  Hence  papier  Bath  became  synonymous  with 
excellent  paper.  Eventually  the  qualifying  clause  alone  remained  and  received 
a  general  application. 

Bath  of  Blood,  a  name  sometimes  applied  to  the  massacre  of  the  Hugue- 
nots at  Vassy,  in  France  (1562),  at  the  command  of  the  Duke  of  Guise,  and  also 
to  the  murder,  in  1520,  of  seventy  Swedish  nobles  of  Stockholm  by  command 
of  Christian  H.  of  Denmark. 

Bathos.  This  word,  in  the  sense  which  has  now  excluded  all  others, — that  of 
an  anticlimax,  a  ludicrous  descent  from  the  elevated  to  the  commonplace, — 
was  first  made  English  by  Pope,  in  his  Essay  on  the  Art  of  Sinking  in  Poetry. 
He  informs  the  reader  that  the  essay  is  to  be  styled  vrept  ^iiQwiq,  "  Concerning 
Depth,"  as  a  foil  to  Longinus's  Trept  v^^ovq,  "Concerning  Height,"— ?>.,  the 
Sublime.  "  For  true  it  is,  that  while  a  plain  and  direct  road  is  paved  to  their 
vi/)OC  or  sublime,  no  track  has  been  yet  chalked  out  to  arrive  at  our  /ia^of  or 
profound  ;  wherefore,  considering,  with  no  small  grief,  how  many  promismg 
geniuses  of  this  age  are  wandering  (as  I  may  say)  in  the  dark  without  a  guide, 
I  have  undertaken  this  arduous  but  necessary  task  to  lead  them  as  it  were  by 

/ 


82  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

the  hand,  and  step  by  step  the  gentle  down-hill  way  to  the  bathos  ;  the  bottom, 
the  end,  the  central  point,  the  non  plus  ultra  of  true  modern  poesy  !" 

He  collected  a  number  of   amusing  instances  of  the   "  art  of  sinking,"  as 
practised  by  his  contemporaries.     'J'hese  are  as  good  as  any  : 

And  thou,  Dalhousy,  the  great  god  of  War, 
Lieutenant-colonel  to  the  Earl  of  Mar. 


Behold  a  scene  of  misery  and  woe  ; 
Here  Argus  soon  might  weep  himself  quite  blind. 
Even  though  he  had  Briareus'  hundred  hands 
To  wipe  his  hundred  eyes. 

The  obscureness  of  her  birth 
Cannot  eclipse  the  lustre  of  her  eyes 
Which  make  her  all  one  light. 

Theobald  :   The  Double  Falsehood. 

The  lords  above  are  hungry  and  talk  big. 

Nat  Lee. 

The  last  quoted  is  Nat  Lee's  figurative  description  of  thunder.  It  will  be 
seen  that  the  first  of  these  is  an  unmistakable  bit  of  the  true  bathos.  Pope 
gives  no  credit  for  either  this  or  the  second  one,  and  it  is  shrewdly  suspected 
that  he  wrote  both  of  them  himself,  possibly  in  jest  for  the  purpose  of  using 
them  in  this  burlesque,  but  more  probably  in  all  serious  earnest  in  his  juvenile 
epic  of  "  Alcander,"  which  he  was  too  wise  ever  to  publish  as  a  whole. 

Horace  Smith,  in  his  "  Tin  Trumpet,"  gives  two  stories  that  may  appro- 
priately be  quoted : 


Of  the  written  Bathos,  an  amusing  instance  is  afforded  in  the  published  tour  of  a  lady  who 
has  attained  some  celebrity  in  literature.  Describing  a  storm  to  which  she  was  exposed  when 
crossing  in  the  steamboat  from  Dover  to  Calais,  her  ladyship  says,  "  In  spite  of  the  most 
earnest  solicitations  to  the  contrary,  in  which  the  captain  eagerly  joined,  I  firmly  persisted  in 
remaining  upon  deck,  although  the  tempest  had  now  increased  to  such  a  frightful  hurricane 
that  it  was  not  without  great  difficulty  I  could  hold  up  my  parasol  !" 

As  a  worthy  companion  to  this  little  inorceau,  we  copy  the  following  affecting  advertise- 
ment  from  a   London   newspaper:  "If   this   should    meet   the     eye   of    Emma    D ,   who 

absented  herself  last  Wednesday  from  her  father's  house,  she  is  implored  to  return,  when  she 
will  be  received  with  undiminished  affection  by  her  almost  heart-broken  parents.  If  nothing 
can  persuade  her  to  listen  to  their  joint  appeal, — should  she  be  determined  to  bring  their  gray 
hairs  with  sorrow  to  the  grave, — should  she  never  mean  to  revisit  a  home  where  she  had  passed 
so  many  happy  years, — it  is  at  least  expected,  if  she  be  not  totally  lost  to  all  sense  of  propriety, 
that  she  will,  without  a  moment's  further  delay,  send  back  the  key  of  the  tea-caddy." 

There  is  merit  in  the  rapturous  exclamation  of  the  Frenchman,  "  Superbe  ! 
magnifique  !  in  short,  pretty  well  !"  But  of  all  foreigners  the  East  Indians  are 
most  given  to  this  form  of  sinking.  The  following  request  for  a  holiday  is 
from  a  native  clerk  in  India:  "Most  Exalted  Sir, — It  is  with  most  habitually 
devout  expressions  of  my  sensitive  respect  that  I  approach  the  clemency  of 
your  masterful  position  with  the  self-dispraising  utterance  of  my  esteem,  and 
the  also  forgotten-by-myself  assurance  that  in  my  own  mind  I  shall  be  freed 
from  the  assumption  that  I  am  asking  unpardonable  donations  if  I  assert  that 
I  desire  a  short  respite  from  my  exertions  ;  indeed,  a  fortnight's  holiday,  as  I 
am  suffering  from  three  boils,  as  per  margin.  I  have  the  honorable  delight  of 
subscribing  myself  your  exalted  reverence's  servitor.  (Signed)  Jonabol  Pan- 
jamjaub."  In  addition  to  the  regalement  of  the  ear  from'the  charm  of  style 
to  his  communication,  the  eye  is  gratified  by  a  rough  but  graphic  illustration 
of  the  three  boils. 

Courts  of  law  frequently  offer  excellent  examples,  especially  the  inferior 
tribunals,  whose  magistrates  feel  most  keenly  the  glory  of  a  little  brief  au- 
thority. A  famous  story  is  that  of  the  London  "  beak"  who  made  this  tre- 
mendous appeal  to  a  witness  about  to  take  the  oath  :  "  Remember  that  the 
eyes  of  God  and  of  Her  Majesty's  police  court  are  upon  you."  Equally  famous 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  83 

is  the  exordium  of  another  justice's  charge  to  a  jury  in  a  case  of  larceny : 
"  For  forty  centuries  the  thunders  of  Sinai  have  echoed  through  the  worldj 
Thou  shalt  not  steal.  This  is  also  a  principle  of  the  common  law  and  a  rule 
of  equity."  Almost  as  delightful,  though  expressed  without  the  same  literary 
skill,  is  the  sentence  of  a  president  of  a  court-martial  :  "  Prisoner,  not  only 
have  you  committed  murder,  but  you  have  run  a  bayonet  through  the  breeches 
of  one  of  Her  Majesty's  uniforms."  Perhaps,  however,  the  best  of  all  such 
judicial  utterances  is  that  ascribed  to  a  rural  justice  of  the  peace  :  "  Prisoner, 
a  bountiful  Providence  has  endowed  you  with  health  and  strength,  instead  of 
which  you  go  about  the  country  stealing  hens." 


In  America  a  fondness  for  pork  and  beans  is  held  to  be  a  distin- 
guishing trait  of  the  New-Englander,  and  especially  the  Bostoner.  Boston 
baked  beans  is  the  name  given  to  a  si?c;cial  preparation  which  is  indeed  found 
in  its  highest  stage  of  perfection  in  the  New  England  Athens.  Hence  "  to 
know  beans" — a  sly  hit  at  Boston's  claims  to  superior  culture — means  to  be 
very  smart,  spry,  or  shrewd.  Undoubtedly  the  success  of  the  phrase  has  been 
influenced  by  the  analogous  English  expression,  "  To  know  how  many  blue 
beans  make  five  white  ones."  This  is  based  on  a  familiar  catch,  put  in  the 
form  of  a  question,  the  answer  being  "  Five,  if  peeled." 

Few  men  who  better  knew  how  many  blue  beans  it  takes  to  make  five. — Galt  :  Laurie 
Todd. 

"  Three  blue  beans  in  a  blue  bladder"  is  an  absurd  phrase  of  uncertain  origin, 
used  to  characterize  a  noisy  rattlepate.  The  most  probable  derivation  is  from 
a  jester's  bladder  with  beans  or  peas  in  it : 

They  say 
That  putting  all  his  words  together, 
Tis  three  blue  beans  in  a  blue  bladder. 

Prior:  Alma,  i.  v.  25. 
Bean,  in  poker  lingo,  is  often  used  as  a  synonyme  for  a  chip.     It  has  also 
meant  a  guinea  in  England,  and  a  five-dollar  gold-piece  in  America,  probably 
from  the  French  bie7t,  used  in  old  cant  as  a  synonyme  for  property  or  money. 

Bear  and  Bull.  In  the  terminology  of  the  stock  exchange,  the  former 
means  one  who  speculates  on  a  fall,  as  the  latter  on  a  rise,  in  stocks.  The 
commonly  accepted  derivation  used  to  be  that  bears  claw  or  pull  the  stock 
down,  while  bulls  toss  it  up.  But  this  is  a  mere  guess.  It  has  been  shown 
pretty  conclusively  that  bear  has  an  origin  very  remote  from  its  present  appli- 
cation. Originally  the  phrase  ran  "to  sell  the  bear-skin  before  one  has  caught 
the  bear,"  and  was  applied  to  all  transactions  on  the  stock  exchange  or  else- 
where where  there  was  no  immediate  transfer  of  goods,  but  only  a  payment  to  be 
made  at  some  future  period  by  one  party  or  the  other,  according  as  the  goods 
had  advanced  or  receded  in  price.  The  separation  of  the  term  from  the  rest  of 
the  phrase  and  its  eventual  application  only  to  that  party  who  profited  by  a 
fall  were  very  gradual.  In  17 19  we  have  from  the  "Anatomy  of  'Change 
Alley,"  "Those  who  buy  Exchange  Alley  bargains  are  styled  buyers  of  bear- 
skins," and  the  1778  edition  of  Bailey's  Dictionary  informs  us  that  "to  sell  a 
bear"  is  "to  sell  what  one  hath  not."  Yet  in  1744  we  find  an  allusion  in  the 
London  Magazine  to  "  bulls  and  bears,"  and  in  1774  these  terms  are  defined 
in  their  modern  sense  by  George  Colman  : 

My  young  master  is  the  bull,  and  Sir  Charles  is  the  bear.  He  agreed  for  stock,  expecting  it 
to  be  up  at  three  hundred  by  this  time  ;  but,  lackaday,  sir,  it  has  been  falling  ever  since. — Man 
0/  Business,  iv. 

Bear-leader,  one  who  leads  about  a  dancing  bear  for  public  exhibition  ; 
hence,  in  English  slang,  a  facetious  term  for  a  discreet  person  in  charge  of 
a  youth,  a  tutor  or  travelling-companion  of  a  young  gentleman  or  nobleman. 


84  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

employed  by  the  parents  to  watch  over  him.  When  Johnson  in  his  old  age 
visited  Scotland  in  company  with  James  Boswell,  the  latter  was  styled  the 
Bear-leader  by  the  wits  of  Edinburgh.  The  point  of  the  joke  was  emphasized 
by  the  fact  that  Johnson  was  commonly  known  as  Ursa  Major.  Henry  Kr- 
sicine,  to  whom  Boswell  had  introduced  the  great  man,  quietly  slipped  a  guniea 
into  the  "Bear-leader's  hand,  saying,  "Take  that,  my  good  man;  that's  for  a 
sight  of  your  bear." 

And  as  I  almost  wanted  bread, 
I  undertook  a  bear  to  lead, 
To  see  the  brute  perform  his  dance. 
Through  Holland,  Italy,  and  France 
But  it  was  such  a  very  Bruin, 
***** 
I  took  my  leave  and  left  the  cub 
Some  humbler  Swiss  to  pay  and  drub. 
They  pounced  upon  the  stray  nobility,  and  seized  young  lords  travelling  with  their  bear- 
leaders.— Thackeray  :  Book  of  Snobs,  ch.  vii. 

Bears?  Are  you  there  with  your,  a  common  English  greeting,  ex- 
pressing surprise  rather  than  welcome.  Joe  Miller  explains  it  as  the  exclama- 
tion made  by  a  church-goer  who,  disgusted  with  a  sermon  on  Elisha  and  the 
bears,  went  next  Sunday  to  another  church,  only  to  be  confronted  by  the  same 
preacher  and  the  same  sermon.  The  expression  was  very  common  in  the 
seventeenth  century. 

Another,  when  at  the  racket-court  he  had  a  ball  struck  into  his  hazard,  he  would  ever  and 
anon  cry  out,  Estes-vous  li  avec  vos  ours?  which  is  ridiculous  in  any  other  language  but  Eng- 
lish.—James' Howel  :  Instructions /or  Forraine  Trave//,  Sec.  3. 

"Marry  come  up— are  you  there  with  your  bears?"  muttered  the  dragon.— Scott  :  The 
Abbot,  XV. 

Bears,  Bring  on  your,  a  common  American  challenge  or  defiance,  the 
story  running  that  a  small  boy  in  the  wild  West,  having  been  much  impressed 
with  the  story  of  Elisha  and  the  bears,  drew  a  bead  on  the  next  bald-headed 
gentleman  who  passed  the  family  log  cabin,  and  shouted  out,  "Go  up,  thou 
bald  head  !     Now  bring  on  your  bears  !" 

Beat  the  dog  before  the  lion,  an  old  English  proverb,  whose  exact 
counterpart  is  found  in  the  French  "  Battre  le  chien  devant  le  lion,"  meaning 
to  punish  an  inferior  person  in  the  presence  and  to  the  terror  of  a  great  one. — 
Cotgrave's  French  Dictionary,  s.  v.  Battre. 

And  for  to  maken  other  be  war  by  me. 
As  by  the  whelp  chastised  is  the  leoun. 

Chaucer  :  Squire's  Tale,  Part  ii. 
A  punishment  more  in  policy  than  in  malice ;  even  so  as  one  would  beat  his  offenceless  dog 
to  fright  an  imperious  lion. —  Othello,  ii.  3,  275. 

Beati  possidentes  (L., "  Blessed  are  those  in  possession"),  the  popular  con- 
densation of  an  ancient  legal  maxim,  "  Beati  in  jure  consentur  possidentes," 
which  finds  its  English  equivalent  in  the  familiar  proverb,  "  Possession  is  nine 
points  of  the  law."  Buchmann  plausibly  suggests  that  the  phrase  may  have 
been  developed  through  a  spirit  of  contradiction  from  the  lines  in  Horace : 

Non  possidentem  multa  vocaveris 

Recte  beatum. —  Odes,  iv.  9,  45. 

("  Not  him  who  possesses  many  things  can  you  rightly  call  happy.") 
This  phrase  was  one  of  the  few  scraps  of  Latin  known  to  Frederick  the 
Great.  Therefore  it  was  all  the  more  effective  in  the  mouth  of  Bismarck,  the 
real  successor  of  Frederick  the  Great,  when  in  1877  he  offered  himself  as  the 
mediator  between  Russia  and  Turkey,  defining  his  position  as  "  the  honest 
broker  who  really  wanted  to  do  effective  business."     After  the  signing  of  the 


LITERAR  V  CURIOSITIES.  85 

preliminary  treaty  of  San  Stefano,  and  just  before  the  Congress  of  Vienna, 
Bismarck  announced  that  apart  from  the  commercial  freedom  of  the  Darda- 
nelles, and  a  humanitarian  solicitude  for  the  lot  of  the  Christians  in  Turkey, 
"Germany  had  no  material  interest  in  the  Eastern  question,  except  indeed  her 
interest  in  preventing  the  outbreak  of  a  general  quarrel  over  the  distribution 
of  the  spoil,  which  Russia  might  provoke  by  replying  to  Europe  with  a  bcati 
possidcntes.''^ 

Beating  the  Bounds,  a  curious  custom  annually  observed  (either  on  Holy 
Thursday  or  on  Ascension  Day)  in  certain  parishes  of  London,  when  the 
workhouse  boys,  under  the  conduct  of  a  beadle  or  other  officer,  walk  through 
the  parish  from  end  to  end,  striking  the  boundaries  with  willow  wands  which 
they  carry  in  their  hands.  This  is  a  survival  from  the  period  before  maps,  when 
apprentices,  school-children,  and  other  parish  lads  were  all  marched  out  to 
learn  an  object-lesson  in  this  way.  It  is  now  abandoned  to  the  workhouse 
boys  here  and  there,  and  is  looked  upon  as  a  holiday  occasion. 

Beauty  is  only  skin-deep,'a  common  saying  that  in  one  form  or  another 
may  be  found  in  the  proverbial  lore  of  all  countries.  It  was  a  favorite  with 
the  old  Fathers,  who  loved  to  carry  out  the  proposition  to  a  minuteness  of 
detail  that  would  revolt  the  squeamish  stomach  of  to-day.  Here  is  one  of 
the  least  unpleasant  examples,  but  even  this  is  slightly  bowdlerized  :  "  When 
thou  seest  a  fair  and  beautiful  person,  a  brave  Bonaroba  .  .  .  wringing  thy 
soul  and  increasing  thy  concupiscence,  bethink  thee  that  it  is  but  earth  thou 
lovest,  a  mere  excrement  which  so  vexeth  thee  that  thou  so  admirest,  and  thy 
raging  soul  will  be  at  rest.  Take  her  skin  from  her  face,  and  thou  shalt  see 
all  loathsomeness  under  it,  that  beauty  is  a  superficial  skin  and  bones,  nerve, 
sinews."  (Chrysostom.)  In  general  literature  the  following  are  early  examples 
of  its  use.  In  "  The  Nosegay,"  by  Thomas  Becon  (Parker  Society  Edition, 
p.  203),  occurs  the  passage,  "  And  to  say  the  truth,  is  beauty  any  other  thing 
than,  as  Ludovicus  Vives  saith,  'as  \sic\  little  skin  well  colored.?  If  the  in- 
ward parts,'  saith  he,  'could  be  seen,  how  great  filthiness  would  there  appear, 
even  in  the  most  beautiful  person  !' "  The  passage  from  Ludovicus  Vives  is, 
"In  corpore  ipso  quid  forma  est.?  nempe  ctcticula  bene  colorata,'"  eic  (Led. 
Vivis.  Valent.  Op.,  "  Introd.  ad  Sap.,"  61,  torn.  ii.  cols.  72-3,  Basil.,  1555.)  Sir 
Thomas  Overbury,  in  his  poem  "  A  Wife,"  says, — 

And  all  the  carnal  beauty  of  my  wife 

Is  but  skin-deep. 

Similarly  Moliere  says, — 

La  beaute  du  visage  est  un  frele  otnement, 
Une  fleur  passagere,  un  eclat  d'un  moment, 
Et  qui  n'est  attache  qu'i  la  simple  epiderme 

Les  I'einmes  Savantes,  iii.,  vi 

Nevertheless,  modern  science  recognizes  in  this  skin-deep  beauty  one  of 
the  most  valuable  motive  powers  of  Nature,  bringing  into  play  the  principle 
of  sexual  selection  which  insures  the  mating  of  the  fittest.  Beauty,  we  are 
told,  is  one  of  the  gifts  which  she  lavishes  on  her  pets,  indicating  to  those 
whom  that  beauty  attracts  that  here  is  a  prize  worth  striving  for.  Dr.  Holmes, 
in  "The  Professor  at  the  Breakfast  Table,"  p.  39,  says,  "  Beauty  is  the  index 
of  a  larger  fact  than  wisdom."  And  again,  "  Wisdom  is  the  abstract  of  the 
l)ast,  but  beauty  is  the  promise  of  the  future."  And  Schiller,  in  his  ''Essays, 
^sthetical  and  Philosophical,"  "  Physical  beauty  is  the  sign  of  an  interior 
beauty,  which  is  the  basis,  the  principle,  and  the  unity  of  the  beautiful." 

Bechamel,  Bauce.  This  simple  cream  preparation  served  with  boiled 
fish  was  invented  by  no  less  a  person  than  Louis  de  Bechamel  or  Bechameil, 


86        .  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Marquis  of  Nointel,  who  was  famous  not  only  as  a  gastronomer  but  as  a 
financier  and  a  beau.  He  was  niaitre-d'hotel,  or  steward,  to  Louis  XTV.,  m 
whose  reign  the  glory  of  the  French  kitchen  began.  The  noble,  the  brave, 
and  the  fair  girded  on  their  aprons  and  stood  over  stew-pans  with  the  air  of 
alchemists  over  alembics.  The  great  Vatel  flourished  at  this  time,— Vatel 
who,  like  the  ancient  Roman,  fell  upon  his  professional  sword  because  the 
cod  had  not  arrived  in  time  to  be  dressed  for  the  king  who  was  coming  to 
dine  with  VateFs  master,  Conde.  Bechamel  died  in  1703.  He  was  some- 
thing of  an  eccentric,  and  one  of  his  manias  was  to  resemble  the  Count  de 
Gramont,  who  treated  him  one  day,  not  as  a  Turk  would  a  Moor,  but  as  a 
lord  would  a  financier.  Saint-Simon  relates  this  circumstance  in  terms  pecu- 
liar to  himself  "The  Count  de  Gramont,"  says  he,  "seeing  Bechameil  walk- 
ing in  the  Tuileries,  said  to  his  companion,  '  Will  you  bet  that  I  can  give  him 
a  kick,  and  that  he  will  think  none  the  worse  of  me .'' "  This  was  carried  out 
to  the  letter.  Bechamel,  much  astonished,  turned,  and  the  count  made  many 
excuses,  saying  that  he  took  him  for  his  nephew.  Bechamel  was  charmed, 
and  the  two  became  more  intimate  than  even  Was  Napoleon  familiar  with 
this  anecdote  when  he  characterized  Talleyrand  as  a  man  who  would  preserve 
an  unruffled  front  while  you  kicked  him  from  behind  ? 

Bed  of  Justice.  This  expression  {lit  de  justice)  literally  denoted  the  seat 
or  throne  upon  which  the  King  of  France  was  accustomed  to  sit  when  per- 
sonally present  in  Parliament ;  and  from  this  original  meaning  the  expression 
came  in  course  of  time  to  signify  the  Parliament  itself  Under  the  ancient 
monarchy  of  France  a  bed  of  jusuce  denoted  a  solemn  session  of  the  king  in 
Parliament.  According  to  the  principle  of  the  old  French  constitution,  the 
authority  of  the  Parliament,  being  derived  entirely  from  the  crown,  ceased 
when  the  king  was  present ;  consequently  all  ordinances  enrolled  at  a  bed  of 
justice  were  acts  of  the  royal  will,  and  of  more  authority  than  decisions  of 
Parliament. 

The  last  bed  of  justice  was  assembled  by  Louis  XVL,  at  Versailles,  on 
August  6,  178S,  at  the  commencement  of  the  French  Revolution,  and  was  in- 
tended to  enforce  upon  the  Parliament  of  Paris  the  adoption  of  the  obnox- 
ious taxes  which  had  previously  been  proposed  by  Calonne  at  the  Assembly 
of  Notables.  The  resistance  to  this  measure  led  to  the  assembling  of  the 
States-General,  and  to  the  Revolution. 

Bedpost,  In  the  t^winkling  of  a, — i.e.,  immediately,  at  once.  The 
original  expression  gave  bedstaff  in  lieu  of  bedpost,  a  bedstaS'  being  (con- 
jecturally)  an  upright  peg  fixed  into  the  side  of  the  bedstead  after  the  manner 
of  a  pin,  projecting  upward  to  keep  the  bedclothes  in  their  place,  and  used 
also  as  a  weapon  of  defence  against  intruders.  Hence,  "  in  the  twinkling  of 
a  bedstaff,"  like  the  analogous  phrase  of  to-day,  "in  the  twinkling  of  a  pike- 
staff," would  mean  as  rapidly  as  a  staff  can  be  twinkled  or  turned.  "  Between 
you  and  me  and  the  bedpost,"  or  "  you  and  me  and  the  post,"  is  a  humorous 
tag  to  an  assertion  implying  confidence,  secrecy. 

Bee,  in  provincial  New  England  and  New  York,  an  assemblage  of  people 
for  a  set  purpose,  and  especially  a  meeting  of  neighbors  to  unite  in  working 
for  an  individual  or  a  family.  Li  the  form  of  "  spelling-bee,"  or  spelling-match, 
the  word  has  extended  over  the  whole  country.  Quilting-bees  are  attended 
by  young  women,  who  assemble  around  the  frame  of  a  bed-quilt  and  in  one 
afternoon  accomplish  more  than  one  person  could  in  weeks.  Refreshments 
and  beaux  help  to  render  the  meeting  agreeable.  Apple-bees  are  occasions 
where  neighbors  assemble  to  gather  apples  or  cut  them  up  for  drying.  Husk- 
ing-bees,  for  husking  corn,  meet  in  barns.     In  some  new  districts,  on  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  87 

arrival  of  a  new  settler  the  neighboring  farmers  unite  with  their  teanns,  cut  the 
timber,  and  build  him  a  log  house  in  a  single  day  ;  these  are  termed  raising- 
bees.  The  name  may  have  come  from  the  likeness  of  these  gatherings  to  the 
swarming  of  buzzing  bees. 

Bee  in  the  Bonnet,  a  fad,  a  craze,  a  hobby,  an  overruling  fancy  or  desire  : 
used  especially  in  America  in  regard  to  a  would-be  candidate  for  the  Presi- 
dency :  "  He  has  the  Presidential  bee  in  his  bonnet."  In  the  form  "a  head  full 
of  bees"  the  expression  can  be  traced  baciv  at  least  as  far  as  Gawin  Douglas  in 
his  translation  of  Virgil  (1512-13,  published  1553). 

Quhat  bern  be  thou  in  bed  with  heid  full  of  beis. — ALneis,  viii.,  Prol.  120. 
An  illustration  as  well  as  an  indirect  explanation  of  the  term  may  be  found 
in  the  "  Faerie  Queene,"  where,  describing  the  human  body,  Spenser  alludes  to 
the  bees  and  tlies  in  the  chamber  of  Fantasy  : 

And  all  the  chamber  filled  was  with  flies. 

Which  buzzed  about  him     .     .     . 

Like  many  swarms  of  bees. 

These  flies  are  idle  thoughts  and  fantasies, 

Devices,  dreams,  opinions,  schemes  unsound. 


Bees  were  anciently  imagined  to  have  some  connection  with  the  soul.  Ma- 
homet admits  them  alone  of  all  insects  into  Paradise.  The  analogous  French 
expression  is,  "  II  a  des  rats  dans  la  tete."  It  is  well  known  that  the  souls  of 
the  dying  frequently  escape  in  the  form  of  a  rat  or  a  mouse.  Dean  Swift  says 
that  it  was  the  opinion  of  certain  virtuosi  that  the  brain  is  filled  with  little 
worms  and  maggots,  and  that  thought  is  produced  by  these  worms  biting  the 
nerves.  Hence  the  expression  "  When  the  maggot  bites"  means  when  the 
fancy  strikes  us. 

Beef-eaters,  a  familiar  name  for  the  Yeomen  of  the  Guard,  a  corps  organ- 
ized by  Henry  VII.  for  his  own  protection  on  the  day  of  his  coronation, 
October  30,  1485,  and  which  has  served  as  a  body-guard  of  the  English  sov- 
ereign ever  since.  The  word  is  usually  derived  from  biiffetier,  but  the  ety- 
mology is  doubtful,  as  the  Yeomen  never  had  charge  of  the  royal  buffet  or 
sideboard.  Preston  ("  History  of  the  Yeomen  of  the  Guard,"  1885)  suggests 
that  they  may  have  received  their  name  from  a  bird  called  beef-eater,  whose 
strong,  thick  bill  bore  some  resemblance  to  their  partisans.  Indeed,  the 
Yeomen  were  often  referred  to  as  "billmen,"  because  they  carried  a  weapon 
with  a  hook  like  the  beak  or  bill  of  a  bird.  The  Tower  Wardens,  an  entirely 
different  body  of  men,  are  uniformed  like  them,  and  popular  parlance  classifies 
them  all  as  beef-eaters. 

Bee-line,  a  straight,  direct  line,  like  the  flight  of  a  bee  to  its  hive  when 
laden  with  pollen.  The  expression,  originally  American,  is  now  fully  domesti- 
cated in  England. 

The  field  of  Lexin'ton,  where  England  tried 

The  fastest  colors  thet  she  ever  dyed. 

An'  Concord  Bridge,  thet  Davis  when  he  came 

Found  was  the  bee-line  track  to  heaven  an'  fame, 

Ez  all  roads  be  by  natur,  ef  your  soul 

Don't  sneak  thru  shun-pikes  so's  to  save  the  toll. 

J.  R.  Lowell  :  Biglow  Papers. 

Been  there,  an  Americanism,  used  in  the  form  "Oh,  I've  been  there,"  or 
"  He's  been  there,"  to  indicate  that  the  person  so  spoken  of  is  exceptionally 
shrewd  or  experienced. 

The  Japanese  say,  "A  man  takes  a  drink;  then  the  drink  takes  a  drink;  and  next  the 
drink  takes  the  man."  Evidently  the  Japanese  have  been  there. — Atlanta  Constitution, 
May  4,  1888. 


88  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Beer  and  Bible,  in  English  politics,  a  sobriquet  applied  to  that  branch 
of  the  Conservative  party  which  combated  the  attempt  of  the  moderate 
Liberals  in  1873  to  place  certain  restrictions  upon  the  sale  of  intoxicating 
liquors.  The  brewers  and  the  Licensed  Victuallers'  Association  turned  m  to 
help  their  Conservative  brethren,  and,  as  the  latter  were  mostly  of  High-Church 
tendencies,  the  alliance  earned  the  title  of  the  Beer  and  Hible  Association, 
their  mouth-piece,  the  Morning  Advertiser,  being  called  the  Beer  and  Bible 
Gazette.  By  a  singular  coincidence,  the  latter  nickname  superseded  another 
closely' similar,  the  Gin  and  Gospel  Gazette,  which  tiie  paper  had  enjoyed  for 
many  years  previous  on  account  of  its  close  juxtaposition  of  religious  notices 
and  brewers'  advertisements. 

Beer-money,  a  gratuity,  a  poiir-boire.  It  is  the  custom  in  most  great 
establishments  in  London  for  one  of  the  upper  servants,  generally  the  steward, 
to  supply  the  others  with  beer,  charging  the  amount  to  the  head  of  the  house, 
while  those  who  do  not  drink  are  allowed  what  is  known  as  beer-money,  in 
addition  to  their  wages.  The  Illustrated  American  tells  this  story,  which  shows 
that  English  servants  are  inclined  to  abuse  their  privileges.  "Among  other 
expense-items  presented  to  him,  shortly  after  his  accession  to  the  family 
estate,  the  late  Earl  of  Wicklow  discovered  'dishing-up  beer,'  and,  later  on, 
'turning-down  beer.'  It  was  not  in  the  least  difficult  for  him  to  guess  that 
'dishing-up' applied  to  the  liquid  drunk  by  the  cooks  and  the  kitchen- and 
scullery-maids  when  serving  dinner,  but  he  was  at  a  loss  to  understand  what 
the 'turning-down' process  might  mean.  In  response  to  his  interrogations, 
the  steward  gravely  replied,  "  It's  the  beer,  my  lord,  wot  the  'ousemaids  'ave 
•when  they  go  hup-stairs  to  turn  down  the  sheets  at  night." 

Belisarius,  Give  a  penny  to  (L.  "  Date  obolum  Belisario").  This 
proverb  may  Ije  roughly  paraphrased,  "  Do  not  kick  a  man  when  he  is  down." 
Belisarius  (A.D.  505-565),  the  general-in-chief  of  the  army  in  the  East  under 
Justinian,  being  accused  of  a  conspiracy  against  his  master,  forfeited  his  rank 
and  his  fortune.  Tradition  asserts  further  that  he  was  deprived  of  sight  and 
reduced  to  beggary,  and,  sitting  at  the  gate  of  Rome,  begged  pennies  of  the 
passers-by.  Tiiis  story  has  been  perpetuated  by  Marmontel  in  his  historical 
romance  of  "Belisarius."  But  modern  historians  agree  with  Gibbon,  that  it 
is  "a  fiction  of  later  times,  which  has  obtained  credit,  or  rather  favor,  as  a 
strong  example  of  the  vicissitudes  of  fortune."  {Decline  and  Fall,  iv.  2S6,  note.) 
Bacon,  after  his  fall,  said  to  James  I.,  "  I  would  live  to  study,  and  not  study 
to  live  ;  yet  I  am  prepared  for  date  obolum  Belisario,  and  I  that  had  borne  a 
bag  [i.e.,  that  containing  the  great  seal]  can  bear  a  wallet." 

Bell,  Book,  and  Candle.  The  ancient  mode  of  excommunication  prac- 
tised in  the  Catholic  Church.  The  closing  lines  of  the  formula  were  as  fol- 
lows :  "Cursed  be  they  from  the  crown  of  the  head  to  the  sole  of  the  foot. 
Out  be  they  taken  from  the  book  of  life  [here  the  priest  closed  the  book],  and 
as  this  candle  is  cast  from  the  sight  of  men,  so  be  their  souls  cast  from  the 
sight  of  God  into  the  deepest  pit  of  hell  [here  the  attendant  cast  to  the  ground 
a  lighted  candle  he  had  held  in  his  hand].  Amen."  Then  the  bells  were 
rung  in  harsh  dissonance,  to  signify  the  disorder  and  going  out  of  grace  in 
the  souls  of  the  persons  excommunicated. 

The  cardinal  rose  with  a  dignified  look. 

He  called  for  his  candle,  his  bell,  and  his  book  1 

In  holy  anger,  and  pious  grief. 

He  solemnly  cursed  that  rascally  thief! 
He  cursed  him  at  board,  he  cursed  him  in  bed  ; 
From  the  sole  of  his  foot  to  the  crown  of  his  head. 
He  cursed  him  in  sleeping,  that  every  night 
He  should  dream  of  the  devil,  and  wake  in  a  fright ; 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  89 

He  cursed  him  in  eating,  he  cursed  him  in  drinking. 
He  cursed  him  in  coughing,  in  sneezing,  in  winking. 
He  cursed  him  in  sitting,  in  standing,  in  lying  ; 
He  cursed  him  in  walking,  in  riding,  in  flying;' 
He  cm-sed  him  living,  he  cursed  him  dying  ! 
Never  was  heard  such  a  terrible  curse  ! 
But,  what  gave  rise 
To  no  little  surprise. 
Nobody  seemed  a  penny  the  worse  ! 

Barham  :  Jngotdsbjy  Legends  :  Jackdaw  of  Rheims. 

Bend,  Above  one's,  in  American  slang,  means  beyond  one's  capacity,  and 
is  the  Northern  equivalent  for  "above  my  huckleberry,"  or  "a  huckleberry 
above  my  persimmon,"  phrases  popular  in  the  Southern  States.  It  is  not 
impossible  that  the  phrase  is  an  old  English  survival,  bendh€\w^  the  Anglo- 
Saxon  for  a  bond,  letter,  or  contract : 

For  ich  am  comen  hider  to-day. 
For  to  saven  hem,  yive  y  may. 
And  bring  hem  out  of  bende. 

Amis  and  Amiloun,  I.  1233. 

Above  my  bend,  therefore,  might  mean  more  than  I  am  bound  or  held  to  do. 

Benefit  of  clergy.  The  word  clergy  here,  like  the  word  clerk  (which  is 
an  abbreviation  of  clericiis),  does  not  refer  exclusively  to  churclmien,  but 
includes  all  who  had  any  pretensions  to  learning.  William  Rufus,  the  second 
of  the  Norman  kings  of  England,  enacted  an  ordinance  (10S7)  known  by  the 
above  title,  in  accordance  with  which  a  man  could  save  his  life  on  his  proving 
that  he  was  not  entirely  ignorant  of  letters.  The  first  verse  of  the  fiftv-firs^ 
Psalm  was  chosen  as  the  reading-test,  and  hence  got  the  name  of  "neck- 
verse."  Readers  of  Sir  Walter  Scott  will  remember  that  William  of  Delo- 
raine  boasts  of  his  inability  to  read  a  line  even  were  it  his  "neck-verse  at 
Haribee," — Ilaribee  being  the  spot  in  Carlisle  where  Scottish  moss-troopers 
and  thieves  were  wont  to  be  "justified," — i.e.,  hanged.  The  statute  in  favor 
of  "clergy"  continued  nominally  in  force  till  Queen  Anne's  reign,  when  it  was 
repealed  (1700),  although  long  before  that  it  had  become  a  dead  letter.  See 
Neck-Verse. 

Better  half,  a  humorous  colloquialism  for  a  wife,  makes  its  first  appearance 
in  English  literature  in  Sidney's  "Arcadia"  (15S0),  iii.  280,  where  Argalus 
says  to  Parthenia,  "  My  deare,  my  better  halfe,  I  find  I  must  now  leave  thee." 
Originally  my  better  half — i.e.,  the  more  than  half  of  my  being — was  said  of  a 
very  close  and  intimate  friend  :  cf.  Shakespeare, — 

O  how  thy  worth  with  manners  may  I  sing. 

When  thou  art  all  the  better  part  of  me  ? 
What  can  my  own  praise  to  mine  own  self  bring. 

And  what  is't  but  mine  own  when  I  praise  thee  ? 

Sonnet  XXXIX. 

Yet  there  is  a  curious  anticipation  of  the  phrase  in  the  Oriental  story  of  the 
Bedouin  Arab  who,  having  blasjjhemed  the  name,  the  beard,  and  the  honor 
of  his  chief,  was  sentenced  to  the  bastinado.  His  wife  pleaded  in  his  behalf. 
"  O  great  prince,"  she  said  to  the  sheik,  "  the  blasphemy  is  horrible,  I  confess, 
and  merits  exemplary  punishment ;  but  it  is  not  my  whole  husband  who  has 
thus  rendered  himself  guilty  towards  thee."  "Not  thy  whole  husband.?" 
echoed  the  startled  sheik.  "Nay,"  she  continued,  "it  is  but  the  half  of  him 
that  has  conmiitted  the  insult ;  for  am  I  not  the  other  half, — I  who  have  never 
offended  thee  .''  Now  the  guilty  half  places  itself  under  the  protection  of  the 
innocent  half,  and  the  latter  cannot  suffer  the  former  to  be  punished."  The 
sheik  saw  so  much  wit  in  this  reply  that  he  paidoned  the  guilty  husband. 
(Percy  Anecdotes.) 

8* 


90  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Bever  or  Beaver  (Latin  bibere,  through  the  old  French  beivre),  an  obsolete 
English  word  for  a  snack  or  luncheon,  especially  one  taken  in  the  afternoon 
between  mid-day  dinner  and  supper.  Hence,  a  term  applied  to  a  frugal  repast 
of  bread  and  beer  served  out  on  summer  afternoons  in  Eton,  Wnichester,  and 
Westminster  Colleges  till  a  very  recent  period. 

"  It  may  be  interesting  for  all  old  Etonians,  and  for  old  Collegers  in  particular,  to  read  the 
news  that  '  Bever'  is  abolished."  Such  are  the  words  that  begin  an  obituary  notice  of  this 
institution  in  the  last  number  of  the  Eton  College  Chroiticle  1  hough  the  tone  of  the  article 
is  on  the  whole  regretful,  yet  we  would  fain  have  seen  another  expression  substituted  tor  that 
word  "  interesting  "     It  is  as  if  one  should  write,  "  It  may  be  interesting  to  you  to  know  that 


your  mother  has  lost  an  arm."  It  is  not  that  tone  of  the  lover  to  his  mistress  that  the  good 
Conservative  and  the  good  Etonian  should  adopt.  For  four  hundred  and  fifty  years  Collegers 
have  partaken  of  that  humble  meal  of  bread  and  beer,  have  sought  the  cool  shades  of  Henry  s 
noble  dining-hall  for  that  mild  refreshment,  and  have  been  proud  to  entertain  oppidan  triends 
who  disdain  not  the  Spartan  fare.  If  only  that  the  word  "  Bever"  itself  might  not  become  a 
nominis  umbra  the  remorseless  authorities  might  have  paused.  Indeed,  it  was  cruelly  done. 
But  when  some  five  or  six  years  ago  grace-cup  was  found  to  be  out  of  keeping  with  the  tee- 
total spirit  of  the  age,  and  boiled  salmon  was  substituted  in  its  place,  we  should  have  known 
what  to  expect.  The  prophet's  eye  might  have  seen  that  the  days  of  "  Bever"  also  were  num- 
bered that  the  "  little  systems"  of  the  pious  founder  had  "  had  their  day,  and  therefore  had 
better'"  cease  to  be."  "  Bever"  is  gone,  and  we  believe  the  authorities  in  substitution  intend 
to  allow  each  Colleger  a  mug  of  toast-and-water  on  Sundays  throughout  the  year.  It  is 
the  day  of  the  faddist,  and  a  vegetarian  dinner  in  Hall  and  compulsory  Dr.  Jaeger  s  under- 
clothing are  looming  like  nightmares  through  the  mists  of  the  {wime..— Saturday  Revie^v, 
June  28,  1890. 

Bible  Statistics.  The  following  facts  in  regard  to  the  Authorized  Version 
of  the  Bible  are  given  by  the  indefatigable  Dr.  Home  in  his  "  Introduction  to 
the  Study  of  the  Scriptures."  Their  compilation  is  said  to  have  occupied  more 
than  three  years  of  the  doctor's  life  : 

Old  New 

Testament.  Testament.  Total. 


Books 39 


66 


Chapters 9^9  260  1,189 

Verses 33.214  7,959  3i,i73 

Words 593,493  181,253  773,746 

Letters 2,728,100  838,380  3,566,480 

Apocrypha. 

Books,  14;  chapters,  183;  verses,  6031;  words,  125,185;  letters,  1,063,876. 

But  the  good  doctor's  work  is  entirely  cast  into  the  shade  by  the  statistical 

exploit  of  some  religious  enthusiast  (possibly  a  myth),  who,  as  the  resultof 

several  years'  incarceration  for  conscience'  sake,  produced   this   astonishing 

monument  of  misapplied  industry  : 

The  Bible  contains  66  books,  1189  chapters,  33,173  verses,  773,692  words,  and  3,586,489 
letters  The  word  "  and"  occurs  46,227  times,  the  word  "  Lord"  1855  Umes,  "  reverend  but 
once  "  girl"  but  once,  in  third  chapter  and  third  verse  of  Joel ;  the  words  "  everlasting  fire"  but 
twice  and  "  everlasting  punishment"  but  once.  The  middle  line  is  Second  Chronicles  iv.  16. 
The  middle  chapter  and  the  shortest  is  Psalm  cxvii.  The  middle  verse  is  the  eighth  verse  of 
Psalm  cxviii.  The  twenty-first  verse  of  the  seventh  chapter  of  Ezra  contains  all  the  letters  in 
the  alphabet,  except  the  letter  "  J."  The  finest  chapter  to  read  is  the  twenty-sixth  chapter  of 
the  Acts  of  the  Apostles.  The  nineteenth  chapter  of  Second  Kings  and  the  thirty-seventh 
chapter  of  Isaiah  are  alike.  .The  longest  verse  is  the  ninth  verse  of  the  eighth  chapter  of 
Esther.  The  shortest  is  the  thirty-fifth  verse  of  the  eleventh  chapter  of  St.  John,  viz.  :  "Jesus 
wept."  The  eighth,  fifteenth,  twenty-first,  and  thirty-first  verses  of  the  107th  Psalm  are 
alike.  Each  verse  of  the  136th  Psalm  ends  alike.  There  are  no  words  of  more  than  six 
syllables. 

It  is  evident  enough  that  each  of  these  tables  is  the  result  of  independent 
labor,  as  they  do  not  agree  with  each  other  as  to  the  number  of  words  and 
letters  in  the  Bible.  Probably  we  shall  have  to  wait  until  another  enthusiast 
is  jugged  before  the  figures  are  verified. 

Bibles,  Curious,  a  general  term  given  to  certain  editions  of  the  Scrip- 
tures which  are   distinguished  by  peculiar  errors  of  the  printers,  or  some 


I 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  9I 

strange  choice  of  words  by  the  translators.     The  most  famous  of  these,  ar- 
ranged in  chronological  order,  are  as  follows : 

THE   BREECHES    BIBLE. 

"Then  the  eies  of  them  both  were  opened,  and  they  knew  that  they  were 
naked,  and  they  sewed  figge  tree  leaves  together  and  made  themselves 
breeches." — Gen.  ill.  7.  Printed  in  1560.  In  the  Authorized  Version,  pub- 
lished in  161 1,  this  picturesque  attire  has  been  changed  to  "aprons." 

THE   BUG   BIBLE. 

"  So  that  thou  shalt  not  nede  to  be  afraid  for  any  bugges  by  nighte,  nor 
for  the  arrow  that  flyeth  by  day." — Ps.  xci.  5.  Printed  in  1561.  Bug  was 
originally  identical  with  bogie,  and  has  substantially  the  same  meaning  as 
"  terror,"  the  word  substituted  in  the  Authorized  Version. 

THE   place-makers'    BIBLE. 

"  Blessed  are  the  place-makers ;  for  they  shall  be  called  the  children  of 
God." — Matt.  V.  9.  Printed  in  1561-2.  A  version  that  should  be  in  great 
request  with  practical  politicians  of  all  parties. 

THE   TREACLE   BIBLE. 

"  Is  there  not  treacle  at  Gilead .'  Is  there  no  physician  there  ?" — Jer.  viii. 
22.     Printed  in  1568. 

THE   ROSIN    BIBLE. 

"  Is  there  no  rosin  in  Gilead .'  Is  there  no  physician  there  ?" — Jer.  viii. 
22.     A  Douay  version,  printed  in  1609. 

THE  WICKED   BIBLE.  ' 

This  extraordinary  name  has  been  given  to  an  edition  of  the  Authorized 
Bible,  printed  in  London  by  Robert  Barker  and  Martin  Lucas  in  1631.  The 
negative  was  left  out  of  the  seventh  commandment,  and  William  Kiiburne, 
writing  in  1659,  says  that,  owing  to  the  zeal  of  Dr.  Usher,  the  printer  was  fined 
;^20oo  or  ;{r3ooo. 

The  same  title  has  been  given  to  the  Bible  which  its  publishers  called  the 
"  Pearl  Bible,"  from  the  size  of  the  type  used,  which  was  published  in  1653, 
and  contained  the  following  among  other  errata  : 

Neither  yield  ye  your  members  as  instruments  of  righteousness  [for  unrighteousness]  unto 
sin. — Rom.  vi.  13. 

Know  ye  not  that  the  unrighteous  shall  inherit  [for  shall  not  inherit]  the  kingdom  of  God  ? 
— /  Cor.  vi.  9. 

These  errata  made  the  Wicked  Bibles  very  popular  among  the  libertines  of 
the  period,  who  urged  the  texts  as  "pleas  of  justification"  against  the  re- 
proofs of  the  divines. 

THE   VINEGAR    BIBLE. 

'  The  Parable  of  the  Vinegar,"  instead  of  "  The  Parable  of  the  Vineyard," 
appears  in  the  chapter-heading  to  Luke  xx.  in  an  Oxford  edition  of  the  Au- 
thorized Version  which  was  published  in  171 7. 

THE    MURDERERS'    BIBLE. 

This  ghastly  name  has  been  won  by  an  edition  published  in  1801,  from  an 
error  in  the  .sixteenth  verse  of  the  Epistle  of  Jude,  where  the  word  "  niur- 
murers"is  rendered  "murderers." 


92  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

TO-REMAIN    BIBLE. 

"  Persecuted  him  that  was  born  after  the  spirit  to  remain,  even  so  it  is  now." 
—Gal.  iv.  29.  This  typographical  error,  which  was  perpetuated  in  the  first  8vo 
Bible  printed  for  the  Bible  Society,  takes  its  chief  importance  from  the  curious 
circumstances  under  which  it  arose.  A  i2mo  Bible  was  being  printed  at 
Cambridge  in  1805,  and  the  proof-reader,  being  in  doubt  as  to  whether  or 
not  he  should  remove  a  comma,  applied  to  his  superior,  and  the  reply,  pen- 
cilled on  the  margin,  "  to  remain,"  was  transferred  to  the  body  of  the  text,  and 
was  repeated  in  the  Bible  Society's  8vo  edition  of  1805-6,  and  also  in  another 
i2mo  edition  of  1819. 

THE  DISCHARGE  BIBLE. 

"I  discharge  thee  before  God."— i  Tim.  v.  21.     Printed  in  1806. 

THE   STANDING-FISHES   BIBLE, 

"And  it  shall  come  to  pass  that  the  fishes  will  stand  upon  it,"  etc. — Ezek. 
xlvii.  10.     Printed  in  1806. 

THE    EARS-TO-EAR   BIBLE. 

"Who  hath  ears  to  ear,  let  him  hear." — Matt.  xiii.  43.     Printed  in  1810. 

THE   WIFE-HATER   BIBLE. 

"  If  any  man  come  to  me,  and  hate  not  his  father,  .  ,  .  yea,  and  his  own 
wife  also,"  etc. — Luke  xiv.  26.     Printed  in  1810. 

REBEKAH'S-CAMELS   BIBLE. 

"And  Rebekah  arose,  and  her  camels." — Gen.  xxiv.  61.     Printed  in  1823. 

Though  not  technically  ranked  among  "  Curious  Bibles,"  the  most  extraor- 
dinary bit  of  Biblical  eccentricity  is  a  New  Testament  issued  by  the  Rev. 
Edward  Harwood,  D.D.,  an  eighteenth-century  divine,  whose  happy  thought 
it  was  "to  clothe  the  genuine  ideas  and  doctrines  of  the  apostles  with  that 
propriety  and  persi)icuity  in  which  they  themselves,  I  apprehend,  would  have 
exhibited  them,  had  they  now  lived  and  written  in  our  language."  The  good 
doctor,  though  pained  that  "  the  bald  and  barbarous  language  of  the  old  vul- 
gar version"  had  from  long  usage  "acquired  a  venerable  sacredness,"  was 
not  without  a  hope  that  an  "  attempt  to  diffuse  over  the  sacred  page  the  ele- 
gance of  modern  English"  might  allure  "men  of  cultivated  and  improved 
minds"  to  a  book  "now,  alas,  too  generally  neglected." 

Dr.  Harwood,  therefore,  proceeded  to  make  the  New  Testament  an  emi- 
nently genteel  book.  Every  word  that  had  dropped  out  of  vogue  in  polite 
circles  was  plucked  away,  the  very  plain-spoken  warning  to  the  Laodicean 
Church  assuming  in  his  version  this  form  :  "  Since,  therefore,  you  are  now  in  a 
state  of  lukewarmness,  a  disagreeable  medium  between  the  two  extremes,  I 
will,  in  no  long  time,  eject  you  from  my  heart  with  fastidious  contempt."  The 
sentence  is  certainly  delicious  ;  but  when  we  remember  who  the  speaker  is, 
we  find  we  are  laughing  at  something  like  blasphemy.  We  may,  however, 
laugh  with  a  clear  conscience  at  the  description  of  Nicodemus  as  "this  gen- 
tleman," of  St.  Paul's  Athenian  convert  Damaris  as  "a  lady  of  distinction," 
and  of  the  daughter  of  Herodias  as  "a  young  lady  who  danced  with  inim- 
itable grace  and  elegance."  "Young  lady,  rise,"  are  the  words  addressed 
to  the  daughter  of  Jairus.  The  father  of  the  Prodigal  is  "  a  gentleman  of 
splendid  family ;"  St.  Peter,  on  the  Mount  of  Transfiguration,  exclaims,  "  Oh, 
sir  !  what  a  delectable  residence  we  might  fix  here,"  and  St.  Paul  is  raised  to 
the  standard  of  Bristolian  respectability  by  having  a  "  portmanteau"  conferred 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  93 

upon  him  in  place  of  the  mere  cloak  mentioned  by  himself  as  having  been 
left  by  him  at  Troas.  The  apostolic  statement,  "  We  shall  not  all  die,  but  we 
shall  all  be  changed,"  appears  thus  :  "  We  shall  not  all  pay  the  common  debt 
of  nature,  but  we  shall,  by  a  soft  transition,  be  changed  from  mortality  to 
immortality." 

Even  after  reading  these  prodigious  translations  we  are  hardly  prepared  for 
a  meddling  with  the  Magnificat  and  the  Nunc  Dimittis.  But  Dr.  Harwood's 
passion  for  elegance  stuck  at  nothing,  and  the  "men  of  cultivated  and  im- 
proved minds"  must  have  Harwoodian  versions  of  the  two  great  hymns  of 
Christendom.     Here  are  the  openings  of  both  : 

"  My  soul  with  reverence  adores  my  Creator,  and  all  my  faculties  with 
transport  join  in  celebrating  the  goodness  of  God,  my  Saviour,  who  hath  in 
so  signal  a  manner  condescended  to  regard  my  poor  and  humble  station. 
Transcendent  goodness  !  every  future  age  will  now  conjoin  in  celebrating  my 
happiness." 

"  O  God  !  thy  promise  to  me  is  amply  fulfilled  !  I  now  quit  the  post  of 
human  life  with  satisfaction  and  joy,  since  thou  hast  indulged  mine  eyes  with 
so  divine  a  spectacle  as  the  great  Messiah." 

To  use  Dr.  Harwood's  own  words,  this  edition  of  the  New  Testament 
leaves  the  most  exacting  velleity  without  ground  for  quiritation. 

Biblioklept,  a  modern  euphemism  which  softens  the  ugly  word  book-thief 
by  shrouding  it  in  the  mystery  of  the  Greek  language.  So  the  French  say, 
not  voleur,  but  ckipe2ir  de  livres.  The  true  bibliomaniac  cannot  help  feeling  a 
tenderness  for  his  pet  fad,  even  when  carried  to  regrettable  excesses.  Perhaps 
he  has  often  felt  his  own  fingers  tingle  in  view  of  a  rare  de  Grolier,  a  unique 
Elzevir,  he  knows  the  strength  of  the  temptation,  he  estimates  rightly  his 
own  weakness  ;  perhaps,  if  he  carries  self-analysis  to  the  unflattering  point  which 
it  rarely  reacheSj  save  in  the  sincerest  and  finest  spirits,  he  recognizes  that  his 
power  of  resistance  is  supplied  not  by  virtue,  but  by  fear, — fear  of  the  police 
and  of  Mrs.  Grundy.  In  his  inner  soul  he  admires  the  daring  which  risks  all 
for  the  sake  of  a  great  passion.  When  a  famous  book-collector  was  exhibiting 
his  treasures  to  the  Duke  of  Sussex,  Queen  Victoria's  uncle,  he  apologized 
to  his  royal  highness  for  having  to  unlock  each  case.  '•  Oh,  quite  right,  quite 
right,"  was  the  reassuring  reply  :  "  to  tell  the  truth,  I'm  a  terrible  thief." 
There  are  not  many  of  us  who  are  so  honest.  Nevertheless,  the  epidemic 
form  which  bibliokleptomania  has  assumed  is  recognized  in  the  motto  which 
school-boys  affix  to  their  books,  warning  honest  friends  not  to  steal  them. 
"  Honest"  may,  of  course,  be  a  fine  bit  of  sarcasm.  But  one  prefers  to  look 
upon  it  as  indicating  a  subtle  juvenile  prescience  that  the  most  honest  and  the 
most  friendly  will  steal  books,  as  the  most  honest  will  cheat  their  dearest 
friends  in  a  matter  of  horseflesh. 

The  roll  of  book-thieves,  if  it  included  all  those  who  have  prigged  without 
detection  or  who  have  borrowed  without  returning,  would  doubtless  include 
the  most  illustrious  men  of  all  ages.  But  strike  from  the  list  those  whose 
thefts  have  been  active  and  not  passive,  and  admitting  perforce  only  that 
probably  small  proportion  whose  active  thieving  has  been  discovered  and 
proclaimed,  a  splendid  array  of  names  will  still  remain.  It  will  include 
learned  men,  wise  men,  good  men, — the  highest  dignitaries  of  church  and 
state,  even  a  pope.  And  that  pope  was  no  less  a  man  than  Innocent  X.  To 
be  sure,  he  was  not  pope,  but  plain  Monsignor  Pamphilio,  when  he  stole  a 
book  from  Du  Moustier,  the  painter, — his  one  detected  crime.  But  who  shall 
say  it  was  his  only  crime  }  To  be  sure,  again,  Du  Moustier  was  something  of 
a  thief  himself:  he  used  to  brag  how  he  had  prigged  a  book  of  which  he  had 
long  been  in  search  from  a  stall  on  the  Pont-Neuf.  Nevertheless,  he  strenu- 
ously objected  to  be  stolen  from.     When,  therefore,  Monsignor  Pamphilio,  in 


94  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

the  train  of  Cardinal  Barberini,  paid  a  visit  to  the  painter's  studio  in  Paris 
and  quietly  slipped  into  his  soutane  a  copy  of  "  L'Histoire  du  Concile  de 
Trente,"  M.  Uu  Moustier,  catching  him  in  the  act,  furiously  told  the  cardinal 
that  a  holy  man  should  not  bring  thieves  and  robbers  in  his  train.  With 
these  and  other  words  of  a  like  libellous  nature  he  recovered  the  History  of 
the  Council  of  Trent,  and  kicked  out  the  future  pontiif.  Historians  date  from 
this  incident  that  hatred  to  the  crown  and  the  people  of  France  which  distin- 
guished the  pontifical  reign  of  Innocent  X. 

Among  royal  personages,  the  Ptolemies  were  book-thieves  on  a  large  scale. 
An  entire  department  in  the  Alexandrian  Library,  significantly  called  "  Books 
from  the  Ships,"  consisted  of  rare  volumes  taken  from  sea-voyagers  who 
touched  at  the  port.  True,  the  Ptolemies  had  a  conscience.  They  were 
careful  to  have  fair  transcripts  made  of  these  valuable  manuscripts,  which  they 
presented  to  the  visitors ;  but,  as  Aristotle  says,  and,  indeed,  as  is  evident 
enough  to  minds  of  far  inferior  compass,  the  exchange,  being  involuntary, 
could  not  readily  be  differentiated  from  robbery.  Brantome  tells  us  that 
Catherine  de  Medicis,  when  Marshal  Strozzi  died,  seized  upon  his  very  valu- 
able library,  promising  some  day  to  pay  the  value  to  his  son,  but  the  promise 
was  never  kept. 

Perhaps  the  greatest  of  biblioklepts  was  Don  Vincente,  a  friar  of  that 
Poblat  convent  whose  library  was  plundered  and  dispersed  at  the  pillage  of 
the  monasteries  during  the  regency  of  Queen  Christina  in  1834.  Coming  to 
Barcelona,  he  established  himself  in  a  gloomy  den  in  the  book-selling  quarter 
of  the  town.  Here  he  set  up  as  a  dealer,  but  fell  so  in  love  with  his  accu- 
mulated purchases  that  only  want  tempted  him  to  sell  them.  Once  at  an 
auction  he  was  outbid  for  a  copy  of  the  "  Ordinacions  per  los  Gloriosos  Reys 
de  Arago," — a  great  rarity,  perhaps  a  unique.  Three  days  later  the  house  of 
the  successful  rival  was  burned  to  the  ground,  and  his  blackened  body,  pipe 
in  hand,  was  found  in  the  ruins.  He  had  set  the  house  on  fire-with  his  pipe,— 
that  was  the  general  verdict.  A  mysterious  succession  of  murders  followed. 
One  bibliophile  after  another  was  found  in  the  streets  or  the  river,  with  a 
dagger  in  his  heart.  The  shop  of  Don  Vincente  was  searched.  The  "  Or- 
dinacions" was  discovered.  How  had  it  escaped  the  flames  that  had  burned 
down  the  purchaser's  house  ?  Then  the  Don  confessed  not  only  that  murder 
but  others.  Most  of  his  victims  were  customers  who  had  purchased  from  him 
books  he  could  not  bear  to  part  with.  At  the  trial,  counsel  for  the  defence 
tried  to  discredit  the  confession,  and  when  it  was  objected  that  the  "  Ordina- 
cions" was  a  unique  copy,  they  proved  there  was  another  in  the  Louvre,  that, 
therefore,  there  might  be  still  more,  and  that  the  defendant's  might  have  been 
honestly  procured.  At  this,  Don  Vincente,  hitherto  callous  and  silent,  uttered 
alow  cry.  "Aha!"  said  the  alcade,  "you  are  beginning  to  realize  the  enor- 
mity of  your  offence!"  "Yes,"  sobbed  the  penitent  thief,  "the  copy  was 
not  a  unique,  after  all." 

A  worthy  successor  to  this  good  friar  was  Count  Guglielmi  Libri  Carucci, 
known  by  his  penultimate  name  Libri,  which,  curiously  enough,  means  books. 
He  was  a  member  of  the  French  Lislitute,  a  professor  in  the  College  of  France, 
a  valued  contributor  to  the  Reznie  des  Deux  MonJes,  and  an  inspector-general 
of  French  libraries  under  Louis  Philippe.  Yet  he  succeeded  in  getting  away 
with  a  large  number  of  valuable  books  and  manuscripts  belonging  to  the  libra- 
ries he  "inspected."  His  thefts  were  first  brought  to  the  notice  of  the  Paris 
librarians  by  anonymous  letters,  and  then  by  articles  in  the  Moniieur  and  the 
National.  In  1848  he  was  prosecuted  and  condemned  by  default  to  ten  years' 
imprisonment  ;  but  even  then  his  friends  did  not  desert  him.  Prosper  Meri- 
mee,  who  defended  him  before  the  Senate,  refused  to  believe  in  his  guilt. 
When  he  fled  to  London,  Sir  Antonio  Panizzi  received  him  with  open  arms, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


95 


maintaining  that  he  was  a  persecuted  man,  and  gave  him  carte  blanche  to 
wander  about  the  library  of  the  British  Museum.  Lord  Ashburnham  bought 
some  of  the  stolen  wares  for  ;^Sooo.  M.  Delisle  tried  to  negotiate  with 
young  Lord  Ashburnham  in  1878,  but  without  success.  Finally,  in  1890,  the 
stolen  property  was  returned  to  the  French  library  in  exchange  for  Manesse's 
rare  collection  of  German  poetry  and  the  sum  of  _iif  6000. 

Of  the  lesser  fry  of  biblioUlepts  there  is  no  space  to  speak.  In  Paris  alone 
as  many  as  a  hundred  thieves  of  this  kind  have  been  prosecuted  in  a  single 
year.  Yet  they  are  a  small  percentage  of  the  total  detected.  Jules  Janin 
mentions  a  fellow-citizen  whose  first  impulse  when  he  saw  a  book  was  to  put 
it  in  his  pocket.  So  notorious  was  this  failing  that  whenever  a  volume  was 
missed  at  a  public  sale,  the  auctioneer  duly  announced  it,  and  knocked  it  down 
to  the  enthusiast  for  a  good  price,  which  he  never  failed  to  pay.  If  he  walked 
out  before  the  sale  was  over,  the  detectives  would  crowd  around  him,  asking 
if  he  did  not  have  an  Elzevir  or  an  Aldine  in  his  pocket.  He  would  make  a 
careful  search.  "  Yes,  yes,  here  it  is,"  he  would  finally  cry  :  "so  much  obliged 
to  you.     I  am  so  absent." 

In  London  it  is  just  as  bad.  There  the  book-snatcher  is  a  person  well 
known  to  dealers.  Mr.  Besant  has  described  him  in  his  story  "  In  Luck  at 
Last :"  "  First,  the  book-snatcher  marks  his  prey  ;  he  finds  the  shop  which 
has  a  set  containing  the  volume  which  is  missing  in  his  own  set ;  next  he  arms 
himself  with  a  volume  which  closely  resembles  the  one  he  covets,  and  then, 
on  pretence  of  turning  over  the  leaves,  he  watches  his  opportunity  to  effect  an 
exchange,  and  goes  away  rejoicing,  his  set  complete." 

Lockhart  mentions,  in  his  "  Life  of  Scott,"  how  at  Holyrood  he  had  placed 
some  lines  sent  to  Sir  Walter  by  Lord  Byron,  together  with  the  accompanying 
present,  in  one  of  the  rooms,  but  the  lines  mysteriously  disappeared.  He  adds 
that  he  mentions  this  circumstance  in  the  hope  of  depriving  the  thief  of  the 
pleasure  of  displaying  his  plunder. 

Bibliomania,  a  mild  form  of  insanity  which  is  obtaining  wide  prevalence. 
A  bibliomaniac  must  be  carefully  distinguished  from  a  bibliophile.  The  latter 
has  not  yet  freed  himself  from  the  idea  that  books  are  meant  to  be  read.  The 
bibliomaniac  has  other  uses  for  books  :  he  carries  them  about  with  him  as 
talismans,  he  passes  his  time  in  the  contemplation  of  their  bindings,  illustra- 
tions, and  title-pages.  Some  say  he  even  prostrates  himself  before  them  in 
silent  adoration  in  that  joss-house  which  he  calls  his  library.  Bibliomaniacs 
are  not  all  alike.  There  are  numerous  subdivisions.  Some  care  only  for 
uncut  copies,  some  only  for  books  printed  in  black  letter  or  in  italics,  some 
for  first  editions,  some  for  curious  or  famous  bindings,  while  some  make  col- 
lections on  special  subjects.  But  all  agree  in  this, — that  the  intrinsic  merit  of 
the  book  is  a  secondary  consideration  in  comparison  with  its  market  value 
and  exceptional  scarcity.  The  Marquis  d'Argenson,  in  his  "  Memoirs,"  has 
given  an  account  of  a  true  specimen.  "  I  remember,"  he  says,  "once  paying 
a  visit  to  a  well-known  bibliomaniac  who  had  just  purchased  an  extremely 
scarce  volume  quoted  at  a  fabulous  price.  Having  been  graciously  permitted 
by  its  owner  to  inspect  the  treasure,  I  ventured  innocently  to  remark  that  he 
had  probably  bought  it  with  the  philanthropic  intention  of  having  it  reprinted. 
'  Heaven  forbid  !'  he  exclaimed,  in  a  horrified  tone  ;  '  how  could  you  suppose 
me  capable  of  such  an  act  of  folly.?  If  I  were,  the  book  would  be  no  longer 
scarce,  and  would  have  no  value  whatever.  Besides,'  he  added,  '  I  doubt, 
between  ourselves,  if  it  be  worth  reprinting.'  'In  that  case,'  said  I,  'its 
rarity  appears  to  be  its  only  attraction.'  'Just  so,'  he  complacently  replied  ; 
'and  that  is  quite  enough  for  me.'" 

There  is  a  story  of  a  wealthy  English  collector  who  long  believed  that  a 
certain  rare  book  in  his  possession  was  a  unique.     One  day  he  received  a 

^  OJ    1UV. 

UNIVERSITY 


g6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

bitter  blow.  He  learned  that  there  was  another  copy  in  Paris.  But  he  soon 
rallied,  and,  crossing  over  the  Channel,  he  made  his  way  to  the  rival's  home. 
"  You  have  such  and   such  a  book   in   your   library?"  he  asked,  plunging  at 

onzft  in  tnedias  res.    "Yes."    "  Well,  I  want  to  buy  it."    "  But,  my  dear  sir " 

"  I  will  give  you  a  thousand  francs  for  it."    "  But  it  isn't  for  sale  ;  I "  "  Two 

thousand  !"  "  On  my  word,  I  don't  care  to  dispose  of  it."  "Ten  thousand  !" 
and  so  on,  till  at  last  twenty-five  thousand  francs  was  offered,  and  the  Parisian 
gentleman  finally  consented  to  part  with  his  treasure.  The  Englishman 
counted  out  twenty-five  thousand  franc  bills,  examined  the  purchase  carefully, 
smiled  with  satisfaction,  and  cast  the  book  into  the  fire.  "Are  you  crazy?" 
cried  the  Parisian,  stooping  over  to  rescue  it.  "  Nay,"  said  the  Englishman, 
detaining  his  arm,  "  I  am  quite  in  my  right  mind.  I,  too,  possess  a  copy  of 
that  book.  I  deemed  it  a  unique.  I  was  mistaken.  Now,  liowever,  thanks 
to  your  courtesy,  I  know  it  is  a  unique."  The  story  may  not  be  true,  but  it 
is  quite  true  enough  to  point  a  moral  with. 

In  "Gilbert  Gurney"  Theodore  Hook  has  painted  the  portrait  of  the  true 
bibliomaniac  in  the  person  of  Thomas  Hull  (otherwise  Thomas  Hill  of  per- 
ennial memory),  who  is  represented  as  carrying  home  in  triumph  from  the 
sale-rooms  a  black-letter  tract  of  14S6,  with  five  pages  wanting  out  of  the 
original  seventeen,  and  two  others  damaged  ;  a  genuine  Caxton,  however,  the 
only  copy  extant  except  one  in  the  Ikitish  Museum,  and  secured  by  him  for 
the  trifling  sum  of  seventy-two  pounds  ten  shillings.  When  asked  what  was 
the  subject  of  the  treatise,  he  ingenuously  owned  that  he  didn't  "  happen  to 
know"  that,  but  believed  it  to  be  an  essay  to  prove  that  Edward  the  Fourth 
never  had  the  toothache.  "  But,"  he  added,  "  it  is,  as  you  see,  in  Latin,  and  I 
don't  read  Latin." 

"Horace,"  so  runs  the  spiteful  epigram  upon  some  other  Thomas  Hull, — 

Horace  he  has  by  many  different  hands, 
But  not  one  Horace  that  he  understands. 

When  a  man  is  first  touched  with  the  fever  of  bibliomania  he  is  bound  to 
make  mistakes.  He  collects  the  wrong  things,  the  things  that  have  gone  out 
of  fashion,  the  bargains  that  are  bargains  only  for  him  who  sells.  Probably 
he  begins  with  Aldines.  Anything  with  an  anchor  is  good  enough  for  him  ; 
it  is  long  before  he  discovers  that  there  are  Aldines  and  Aldines, — that  even 
the  genuine  works  of  the  Aldi  are  not  equally  valuable,  and  that  there  are 
Aldines  which  are  not  Aldines  at  all,  but  merely  cunning  contemporary 
counterfeits  published  at  Lyons  or  at  Florence.  He  is  in  ecstasies  when  for 
a  few  shillings  he  purchases  a  Juvenal  or  a  Persius  marked  1501,  for  the 
text-books  all  tell  him  that  Aldus  Manutius  began  the  publication  oi editiones 
principes  in  1 502.  He  carries  his  bargain  to  some  bibliophile  and  exultantly 
proclaims  that  the  text-books  are  in  error.  Then  the  bibliophile  proves  to 
him  that  1501  is  a  typographical  error  for  1521,  that  the  error  has  long  ago 
been  noted  and  pointed  out,  and  from  the  heights  of  a  superior  erudition  pro- 
claims that  the  book  is  worth  less  than  a  common  Oxford  text.  Elzevirs  have 
snares  also  for  the  unwary.  An  Elzevir  Cassar  is  hailed  as  a  treasure,  espe- 
cially if  it  be  perfect  in  all  respects.  Yet,  ten  to  one,  the  same  bibliophile 
will  point  out  that  this  very  perfection  destroys  the  value  of  the  Elzevir,  for 
the  paging  is  correct,  whereas  that  of  the  genuine  Elzevir  is  incorrect;  and 
again  the  tyro  recognizes  that  he  has  the  wrong  sow  by  the  ears.  There  is  a 
valueless  book  called  "  La  Comtesse  d'Escarbagnas."  How  can  the  tyro  be 
expected  to  know  that  this  valueless  book  is  worth  $250  in  the  rare  edition 
where  Comtesse  is  misprinted  Comteese  ?  Perhaps,  after  he  has  purchased 
all  this  experience,  the  amateur  grows  weary  of  book-hunting.  More  likely 
he  perseveres  and  becomes  a  confirmed  bibliomaniac. 


.    LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  97 

Even  now  there  are  all  sorts  of  shoals  and  quicksands.  The  most  expert 
bibliomaniac  can  only  know  the  present ;  he  cannot  forecast  the  future.  The 
canons  which  govern  the  buyers  of  books  are  as  capricious  and  incalculable 
as  those  which  govern  the  buyers  of  blue  china  or  rococo  bric-a-brac.  Prob- 
ably the  book-hunter  himself  would  be  puzzled  to  say  why,  at  a  time  when 
the  craze  for  first  editions  was  at  its  height,  certain  authors  were  eagerly 
sought  after,  and  certain  others,  far  their  superiors,  were  comparatively  neg- 
lected. No  one  would  think  of  naming  Charles  Lever  in  the  same  breath 
with  Sir  Walter  Scott.  Yet  first  editions  of  Lever  have  brought  a  great 
deal  more  than  first  editions  of  Scott.  And,  to  complete  the  paradox,  it  is 
the  smaller  and  less  important  works  of  modern  novelists  that  lord  it  over 
their  acknowledged  masterpieces, — an  original  "Vanity  Fair"  or  "Charles 
OMailey"  being  looked  upon  as  a  trifle  in  comparison  with  the  discovery  of 
a  "Second  Funeral  of  Napoleon"  or  "Tales  of  the  Trains."  For  a  year  or 
two  the  so-called  editions  de  luxe  were  in  high  favor  ;  to-day  they  are  dis- 
credited, being  voted  too  cumbersome  for  every-day  reading. 

Let  us  take  a  famous  anecdote  to  show  how  fashion  rules  tiie  price  of  books. 
In  1812,  at  the  dispersal  of  the  Roxburghe  Library, — described  as  the  Waterloo 
of  book-sales, — a  copy  of  the  "  Valdarfer"  Boccaccio,  printed  in  Venice  in 
1741,  was  put  up.  Of  this  rare  book  only  half  a  dozen  copies  are  known  to  be 
in  existence.  The  bidding  was  spirited.  Everybody  dropped  out  save  Lord 
Spencer  and  the  Duke  of  Marlborough  (then  Marquis  of  Blandford), — two 
peers  of  the  realm,  who  bid  in  person  against  each  other,  while  the  crowd 
looked  on  agape, — and  the  book  was  finally  knocked  down  to  the  latter  noble- 
man for  ;^226o,  up  to  that  time  the  largest  sum  of  money  ever  paid  for  a 
single  volume.  Seven  years  later  the  library  of  the  marquis  himself  came  into 
the  market,  and  this  identical  volume  became  the  property  of  Lord  Spencer 
for  ;^9iS, — a  price  less  than  one-half  of  what  his  formerly  successful  rival  had 
paid.  And  in  1890  another  copy  of  the  same  edition  found  its  way  to  Eng- 
land, and  was  knocked  down  for  ^230.  To  be  sure,  tJiis  copy  had  some  slight 
imperfections. 

It  is  all  very  well  to  say  that  it  is  the  rarity  of  a  particular  volume  which 
makes  it  valuable.  In  a  rough  and  ready  way,  that  is  true,  of  course.  But 
rare  books,  possibly  unique  copies,  may  every  day  be  seen  in  old-book  stores, 
tied  up  with  a  dozen  other  books  and  labelled  "This  lot  for  ten  cents."  It  is 
all  very  well,  again,  to  say  that  the  book  should  be  valuable  as  well  as  rare. 
Many  valueless  books  are  highly  prized  by  bibliomaniacs.  A  limited  supply 
must  be  conjoined  to  an  active  demand,  there  must  be  the  pleasure  and  ex- 
citement of  the  chase,  the  subsequent  calm  satisfaction  of  possessing  an  envied 
rarity,  or  the  book  would  be  mere  lumber.  And  the  difficult  problem  to  de- 
termine is  why,  at  certain  periods,  all  the  hounds  are  out  and  all  the  horsemen 
off  for  one  particular  fox.  It  is  certainly  not  because  that  fox  is  better  than 
any  other  fox.  It  is  certainly  not  because  that  fox  is  considered  a  nobler 
animal  than  o\.\\^x  fercE  natiim  which  would  yield  equal  pleasure  in  the  chase. 

Of  course  there  are  many  rare  books  which  are  intrinsically  interesting,  and 
are  rendered  valuable  by  the  fact  that  many  people,  able  to  pay  big  prices  for 
them,  would  rejoice  to  have  them.  There  is  the  famous  letter  of  Christopher 
Columbus  announcing  the  discovery  of  the  New  World.  A  copy  of  the  origi- 
nal edition  in  Spanish  is  in  the  possession  of  Mr.  E.  F.  Buonaventure  in 
Paris,  and  is  priced  in  his  catalogue  at  65,000  francs,  or  $13,000.  Yet  it  is  a 
mere  pamphlet  of  four  quarto  pages,  thirty-four  lines  to  the  i>age.  This  may 
be  a  mere  "bluff'  on  the  part  of  that  excellent  bibliophile,  meant  to  keep  the 
letter  at  a  prohibitive  price,  so  as  to  obtain  the  full  value  of  the  centennial 
boom  given  by  the  Chicago  Fair  to  the  memory  of  the  great  discoverer.  Cer- 
tain it  is  that  another  copy  of  the  same  edition,  or  what  purported  to  be  such, 
E        ^  9 


98  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

was  disposed  of  at  the  Brayton  Ives  sale  in  New  York  {1891)  for  $4300.  A 
year  previous,  at  the  equally  memorable  Barlow  sale,  a  copy  of  the  Latin 
edition,  published  in  1493,  had  been  purchased  by  the  Boston  Public  Library 
for  $2900. 

At  this  same  Brayton  Ives  sale,  the  sum  of  $14,800  was  paid  by  Mr.  \V.  E. 
Ellsworth,  of  Chicago,  for  a  Gutenberg  Bible,  the  first  book  ever  printed  from 
movable  types.  Here  is  an  account  of  the  purchase  as  it  appeared  in  the  New 
YoxVSiin  of  March  6,  1891  : 

When  the  Gutenberg  Bible  was  reached  there  was  a  clapping  of  hands  and  a  genuine  stir  of 
excitement.  No  favorite  horse,  no  peach-blow  vase,  no  French  pictures,  can  win  from  the 
heart  of  a  genuine  book-lover  his  affection  for  this  typographical  monument.  The  circum- 
stances imder  which  this  copy  was  piu-chased,  its  acknowledged  rarity,  the  various  surmises 
concerning  its  value,  and  the  report  that  it  was  to  return  to  England,  gave  special  importance 
to  the  sale.  Although  it  has  sixteen  leaves  in  fac-simile,  its  condition,  height,  purity  of  vellum, 
its  illuminated  letters,  have  given  it  a  world-wide  reputation.  The  story  of  it  is  brief.  Mr. 
Brinley  bought  it  in  Europe.  At  his  sale  in  1884  the  late  Mr.  Hamilton  Cole  purchased  it  for 
g8ooo,  Mr.  Ives  at  that  time  being  the  next  bidder.  When  the  Syston  Park  copy,  badly 
"cropped,"  was  purchased  by  Mr.  Quaritch  for  ;{;3500,  and  offered  to  Mr.  Ives  at  a  small 
advance,  he  immediately  decided  to  purchase  Mr.  Cole's  copy.  It  is  well  known  that  this  is 
the  first  book  printed  with  type,  and  is  from  the  press  of  John  Gutenberg  about  1450.  The 
first  bid  was  §3000  a  volume  ;  this  was  quickly  followed  by  bids  of  about  §500  each  until  Mr. 
W.  E.  Ellsworth  became  the  piurchaser  for  §14,800. 

Is  this  $14,800  the  highest  price  ever  paid  for  a  book  ?  The  French  Bulletin 
de  rimprmierie  szys  not.  Indeed,  it  "sees"  that  sum  and  goes  it  better  by 
nearly  $35,000.  And  it  also  claims  that  a  still  higher  sum  was  once  offered 
for  another  book,  and  refused  : 

What  was  the  highest  price  ever  given  for  any  book  ?  We  may  venture  to  say  that  we  know 
of  one  for  which  a  sum  of  250,000  francs  (;^io,ooo)  was  paid  by  its  present  owner,  the  German 
government.  That  book  is  a  missal,  formerly  given  by  Pope  Leo  X.  to  King  Henry  VIII. 
of  England,  along  with  a  parchment  conferring  on  that  sovereign  the  right  of  assuming  the 
title  of  "  Defender  of  the  Faith,"  borne  ever  since  by  English  kings.  Charles  II.  made  a 
present  of  the  missal  to  the  ancestor  of  the  famous  Duke  of  Hamilton,  whose  extensive  and 
valuable  librar>'  was  sold  some  years  ago  by  Messrs.  Sotheby,  Wilkinson  &  Hodge,  of  Lon- 
don. The  book  which  secured  the  highest  offer  was  a  Hebrew  Bible,  in  the  possession  of  the 
Vatican.  In  1512  the  Jews  of  Venice  proposed  to  Pope  Julius  II.  to  buy  the  Bible,  and  to  pay 
for  it  its  weight  in  gold.  It  was  so  heavy  that  it  required  two  men  to  carr>'  it.  Indeed,  it 
weighed  three  hundred  and  twenty-five  pounds,  thus  representing  the  value  of  half  a  million 
of  francs  (;C20,ooo).  Though  being  much  pressed  for  money,  in  order  to  keep  up  the  "  Holy 
League"  against  iting  Louis  XII   of  France,  Julius  II.  declined  to  part  with  the  volume. 

Bigot.  The  amateur  etymologist  has  always  had  lots  of  fun  with  this 
word.  First  comes  old  Camden,  who  relates  that  when  Rollo,  Duke  of  Nor- 
mandy, received  Gisla,  the  daughter  of  Charles  the  Foolish,  in  marriage,  he 
would  not  submit  to  kiss  Charles's  foot;  and  when  his  friends  urged  him  by 
all  means  to  comply  with  that  ceremony,  he  made  answer  in  the  English 
tongue — Ne  se  by  God, — i.e.,  A'ot  so  by  God.  LTpon  which  the  king  and  his 
courtiers,  deriding  him,  and  corruptly  repeating  his  answer,  called  him  big,>t, 
which  was  the  origin  of  the  term.  Cotgrave's  Dictionary  {1611)  calls  it  "an 
old  Norman  word,  signifying  as  much  as  de par  Dicii,  or  our  '  for  God's  sake  !' 
made  good  French,  and  signifying  an  hypocrite,  or  one  that  seemeth  much 
more  holy  than  he  is,  also  a  scrupulous  and  superstitious  person."  As  we 
come  down  to  the  present,  guesses  come  fast  and  furious.  As  good  as  any  is 
Archbishop  Trench's,  who  derives  the  word  from  the  Spanish  "  bigote,"  a 
mustachio.  "  Hombre  de  bigote"  is  indifferently  a  man  with  a  moustache  or 
a  man  of  resolution,  "  tener  bigotes"  is  to  stand  firm,  "and  we  all  know  that 
Spain  is  still  the  land  proverbial  for  mustachios  and  bigotry"  {Smdy  of  Words). 
Dr.  Murray  gives  up  the  problem,  and  the  Century  Dictionary  says,  "  Under 
this  form  two  or  more  independent  words  appear  to  have  been  confused, 
involving  the  etymology  in  a  mass  of  fable  and  conjecture." 

Billingsgate.     One  of  the  ancient  gates  of  London  and  the  adjacent  fish- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


99 


market  were  known  as  Billing's  gate  (presumably  from  a  personal  name), 
which,  in  the  modern  form,  as  above,  the  market  still  retains.  It  has  been 
celebrated  in  literature  for  the  extreme  foulness  of  the  language  used  by  its 
denizens,  especially  the  female  ones.  Hence  to  this  day  foul  language  is  known 
as  Billingsgate. 

Johnson  once  made  a  bet  with  Boswell  that  he  could  go  into  the  fish-market  and  put  a  BillinKs- 
gate  woman  in  a  passion  without  saying  a  word  that  she  could  understand.  The  doctor  com- 
menced by  silently  indicating  with  his  nose  that  her  fish  had  passed  the  stage  in  which  a  man's 
olfactories  could  endure  their  flavor.  The  Billingsgate  lady  made  a  verbal  attack,  common 
enough  in  vulgar  parlance,  which  impugned  the  classification  in  natural  history  of  the  doctor's 
mother.  The  doctor  answered,  "  You're  an  article,  ma'am."  "  No  more  an  article  than 
yourself,  you  b — y  misbegotten  villain."  "  You  are  a  noun,  woman."  "  You — you "  stam- 
mered the  woman,  choking  with  rage  at  a  list  of  titles  she  could  not  understand.  "  You  are  a 
pronoun."  The  beldam  shook  her  fist  in  speechless  rage.  "  You  are  a  verb — an  adverb—an 
adjective — a  conjunction— a  preposition — an  interjection!"  suddenly  continued  the  doctor 
applying  the  harmless  epithets  at  proper  intervals.  The  nine  parts  of  speech  completely  con- 
quered the  old  woman,  and  she  dumped  herself  down  in  the  mud,  crying  with  rage  at  being 
thus  "blackguarded"  in  a  set  of  unknown  terms  which,  not  understanding,  she  could  not 
answer.— Arvine  :  EncyclopcEdia  of  Anecdotes. 

Bills.  This  would  seem  an  unpromising  subject.  Yet  a  few  specimens 
are  worth  filing  among  the  bric-a-brac  of  literature.  The  trade-bills  of  Roger 
Payne,  the  great  English  bookbinder,  are  highly  valued  by  curiosity-hunters 
for  the  eccentric  remarks  with  which  he  adorned  them.  For  example,  on  one 
for  binding  a  copy  of  Barry's  "  Wines  of  the  Ancients"  he  wrote, — 

Homer,  the  bard  who  sung  in  highest  strains. 

Had,  festive  gift,  a  goblet  for  his  pains; 

Falemian  gave  Horace,  Virgil  fire. 

And  barley-wine  my  British  muse  inspire. 

Barley-wine  first  from  Egypt's  learned  shore, 

Be  this  the  gift  to  me  from  Calvert's  store. 

An  Irish  election-bill  has  decided  merits.  During  a  contested  election 
in  Meath,  early  in  this  century,  Sir  Mark  Somerville  sent  orders  to  the  pro- 
prietor of  the  hotel  in  Trim  to  board  and  lodge  all  persons  who  should  vote 
for  him.  In  due  course  he  received  the  following  bill,  which  he  had  framed 
and  preserved  in  Somerville  House,  County  Meath.  A  copy  of  it  was  found 
in  the  month  of  April,  1826,  among  the  papers  of  the  deceased  Very  Rev. 
Archdeacon  O'Connell,  Vicar-General  of  the  Diocese  of  Meath.     It  ran  thus : 

My  bill  Your  honour. 

To  eating  16  freeholders  above  stairs  for  Sir  Marks  at  3s.  6d.  a  head  is  to  me  .   .    .    .  £2  12  o 

For  eating  16  more  below  stairs  and  two  Priests  after  supper  is  to  me 2  15  9 

To  six  beds  in  one  room  and  four  in  another  at  two  guineas  every  bed  and  not  more 

than  four  in  any  bed  at  a  time, — cheap  enough  God  knows,  is  to  me 22  15  o 

To  18  horses  and  5  mules  about  my  yard  all  night  at  13s.  every  one  of  them,  and  for 

a  man  which  was  lost  on  head  of  watching  them  all  night,  is  to  me 5     5° 

For  breakfast  on  tay  in  the  morning,  for  everjr  one  of  them  and  as  many  more  as 

they  brought,  as  near  as  I  can  guess  is  to  me 4  la  o 

To  raw  whiskey  and  punch  without  talking  of  pipes  and  tobacco  as  well  as  for  porter, 
and  as  well  as  for  breakfasting  a  lot  above  stairs  and  for  glasses  and  delf  for  the 
first  day  and  night  I  am  not  sure,  but,  for  three  days  and  a  half  of  the  election 
as  little  as  I  can  call  it  and  not  to  be  very  exact  it  is  in  all  or  thereabouts  and  not 
to  be  too  particular  it  is  to  me  at  least 79  15  9 

For  shaving  and  cropping  of  the  heads  of  the  49  freeholders  for  Sir  Marks  at  13d.  for 

every  head  of  them  by  my  brother  who  has  a  vote,  is  to  me 2  13  i 

For  medicine  and  nurse  for  poor  Tom  Keman  in  the  middle  of  the  night  when  he 
was  not  expected,  is  to  me  ten  hogs,— I  don't  talk  of  the  Piper  or  for  keeping 

him  sober,  as  long  as  he  was  sober,  is  to  me 40  10  o 

The  total  is  ;^ioo  los.  yd.,  you  may  say  ;^iii;  so  your  honor  Sir  Mark  send  me  this 

Eleven  hundred  by  Bryan  himself,  who  and  I  prays  for  your  success  always  in  Trim  and  no 

more  at  present.— Signed  in  place  of  Jemmy  Can's  wife. 

BRYAN  X  GARRATY 
mark. 


lOO  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  following  is  given  as  a  true  bill,  made  by  an  artist,  for  repairs  and 
retouchings  to  a  gallery  of  paintings  of  an  English  lord  in  the  year  1865 

To  filling  up  the  chink  in  the  Red  Sea  and  repairing  the  damages  of  Pharaoh's  host. 

To  cleaning  six  of  the  Apostles  and  adding  an  entirely  new  Judas  Iscariot 

To  a  pair  of  new  hands  for  Daniel  in  the  lions'  den  and  a  set  of  teeth  for  the  lioness. 

To  an  alteration  in  the  Belief,  mending  the  Commandments,  and  making  a  new  Lord  s 
Prayer. 

To  new  varnishing  Moses's  rod. 

To  repairing  Nebuchadnezzar's  beard. 

To  mending  the  pitcher  of  Rebecca. 

To  a  pair  of  ears  for  Balaam  and  a  new  tongue  for  the  ass. 

To  renewing  the  picture  of  Samson  in  the  character  of  a  fox-hunter  and  substituting  a  whip 
for  the  firebrand. 

To  a  new  broom  and  bonnet  for  the  Witch  of  Endor. 

To  a  sheet-anchor,  a  jury-mast,  and  a  boat  for  Noah's  ark. 

To  painting  twenty-one  new  steps  to  Jacob's  ladder. 

To  mending  the  pillow  stone. 

To  adding  some  Scotch  cattle  to  Pharaoh's  lean  kine. 

To  making  a  new  head  for  Holofernes. 

To  cleansing  Judith's  hands. 

To  giving  a  blush  to  the  cheeks  of  Eve  on  presenting  the  apple  to  Adam. 

To  painting  Jezebel  in  the  character  of  a  huntsman  taking  a  flying  leap  from  the  walls  of 
Jericho. 

To  planting  a  new  city  in  the  land  of  Nod. 

To  painting  a  shoulder  of  mutton  and  a  shin  of  beef  in  the  mouths  of  two  of  the  ravens 
feeding  Elijah. 

To  repairing  Solomon's  nose  and  making  a  new  nail  to  his  middle  finger. 

To  an  exact  representation  of  Noah  in  the  character  of  a  general  reviewing  his  troops 
preparatory  to  their  march,  with  the  dove  dressed  as  an  aide-de-camp. 

To  painting  Noah  dressed  in  an  admiral's  uniform. 

To  painting  Samson  making  a  present  of  his  jaw-bone  to  the  proprietors  of  the  British 
Museum. 

Binding.  A  famous  tract  entitled  "De  Bibliothecis  Antediluvianis"  pro- 
fessed to  give  information  about  the  libraries  of  Seth  and  Enoch.  Setting  aside 
this  information  as  not  up  to  the  requirements  of  modern  historical  criticism,  it 
is  fairly  safe  to  assume  that  the  earliest  germ  of  bookbinding  was  to  be  found 
among  the  Assyrians,  who  wrote  their  books  on  terra-cotta  tablets,  and  en- 
closed these  tablets  in  clay  receptacles  which  had  to  be  broken  before  the 
contents  could  be  reached.  Tamil  manuscripts  of  extreme  antiquity  are  also 
extant,  to  which  a  rounded  form  has  been  given  by  the  simple  expedient  of 
using  larger  leaves  at  the  centre  and  adding  others  gradually  shortened  at 
each  side.  The  circle  is  surrounded  by  a  metal  band,  tightly  fastened  by  a 
hook.  How  far  the  Greeks  improved  upon  these  primitive  methods  it  is 
difficult  to  say,  as  their  literature  furnishes  no  details  on  the  subject,  but  there 
is  a  tradition  that  the  Athenians  raised  a  statue  to  Phillatius,  who  invented  a 
glue  for  fastening  together  leaves  of  parchment  or  papyrus.  Nay,  Suidas,  who 
lived  in  the  tenth  century,  contends  that  the  Golden  Fleece  was  only  a  book 
bound  in  sheepskin  which  taught  the  art  of  making  gold.  Did  the  Romans, 
profiting  by  the  invention  of  Phillatius,  glue  their  papyrus  leaves  into  books  ? 
A  pretty  controversy  might  be  raised  over  a  passage  in  one  of  Cicero's  letters 
to  Atticus.  He  asks  for  a  couple  of  librarians  to  glue  {glittinare)  his  books. 
Dibdin  translates  the  word  "  conglutinate."  That  first  syllable  is  the  bone  of 
contention.  Did  Cicero  mean  to  have  his  manuscripts  made  up  in  books,  or 
did  he  only  require  the  sheets  to  be  fastened  into  rolls,  in  the  usual  Ronian 
manner?  Dibdin  believes  the  former.  But  it  is  an  article  of  faith  with  the 
modern  bibliophile  that  Dibdin  made  a  mistake  wherever  possible,  and  that 
mistakes  were  possible  to  him  where  they  would  have  been  impossible  to  any 
one  else.  Nevertheless,  the  papyrus  rolls  were  in  their  way  handsome  speci- 
mens of  the  art  of  bookbinding,  with  their  leather  covers,  gold  bosses,  gold 
cylinder,  and  perfumed  illuminated  leaves.     Mediaeval  bindings  were  gener- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  lOI 

ally  of  carved  ivory,  metal,  or  wood,  covered  with  stamped  leather,  and 
frequently  adorned  with  bosses  of  gold,  gems,  and  precious  stones.  Of  course 
they  could  not  be  kept  on  shelves,  like  modern  volumes  :  they  would  have 
scratched  one  another.  Each  had  its  embroidered  silken  case,  or  chemise,  and, 
when  especially  valuable,  its  casket  of  gold.  Books  in  libraries,  churches, 
and  other  public  places  were  ])rotected  from  theft  by  being  chained  to  shelves 
and  reading-desks.  When,  as  often  happened,  the  volume  was  too  heavy  to 
be  lifted,  the  desk  upon  which  it  was  chained  was  made  to  revolve.  A  print  in 
La  Croix's  "  Le  Moyen  Age  et  la  Renaissance,"  representing  the  library  in  the 
University  of  Leyden,  shows  that  this  custom  continued  down  to  the  seven- 
teenth century.  Books  so  chained  were  called  Catenati.  With  the  invention 
of  printing,  regular  bookbinding,  in  the  modern  sense  of  the  word,  began. 
Wooden  covers  and  stamped  pig-skin  gradually  gave  way  before  the  lighter 
styles  introduced  by  the  Italians  and  perfected  by  the  French.  Early  in  the 
sixteentli  century  morocco  was  introduced,  the  arts  of  the  printer  and  the 
binder  were  differentiated,  and  new  decorations  testified  to  the  conservation 
of  energy  thus  attained  and  its  direction  into  the  right  channel.  The  bindings 
affected  by  the  great  people  of  the  court  of  France  had  a  distinct  individuality. 
Henri  II.  and  Uiane  de  Poictiers  displayed  the  crescent,  the  bow,  and  the 
quiver  of  Diana,  and  the  blended  initials  H.  and  D.  Francis  I.  had  his  sala- 
manders. Marguerite  the  flower  from  which  she  derived  her  name.  The  pious 
Henri  III.  rejoiced  in  figures  of  the  Crucifixion,  in  counterfeit  tears  with  long 
curly  tails,  and  in  various  emblems  of  mortality.  In  the  reign  of  Louis  XIV.  it 
became  fashionable  to  emboss  the  owner's  arms  upon  his  books.  Madame  de 
Maintenon  had  her  famous  co])y  of  the  "  De  Imitatione  Christi"  so  decorated, 
— the  copy  which  contained  the  engraving  of  the  lady  saying  her  prayers  at 
St.-Cyr,  when  the  roof  of  the  chapel  opens  and  a  divine  voice  says,  "  This  is 
she  in  whose  beauty  the  king  is  well  pleased."  But  the  engraving  was 
thought  indiscreet  and  suppressed.  These  blazons  needed  no  special  skill, 
and  they  do  not  improve  the  beauty  of  a  volume,  but  they  are  now  valued  at 
exorbitant  prices  if  they  evidence  that  the  book  belonged  to  some  famous 
library  or  some  exalted  personage.  In  the  eighteenth  century,  ornamental 
figures  of  birds  and  flowers  became  common,  together  with  mosaics  of  various- 
colored  leather.  The  Revolution  brought  temporary  ruin  upon  the  art  of 
bookbinding.  Morocco  was  culpable  luxury,  and  coats  of  arms  were  an  insult 
to  the  Republic.  There  is  an  oft-quoted  story  of  the  French  literary  man  of 
1794,  a  great  reader,  who  always  stripped  off  the  covers  of  his  books  and 
threw  them  out  of  his  window.  What  had  a  citizen  to  do  with  morocco  bind- 
ings, with  the  gildings  of  Le  Gascon  or  Derome,  the  trappings  of  an  effete 
aristocracy.'  Perhaps  he  was  right.  A  working-man  of  letters,  like  a  work- 
ing-man of  any  other  guild,  cannot  use  a  gorgeously-bound  book  as  one  of  the 
implements  of  his  trade.  He  puts  an  inky  pen  into  the  leaves  of  one  volume, 
he  lays  another  on  its  face,  he  uses  the  leg  of  a  chair  to  keep  a  folio  open  and 
to  mark  the  pregnant  passage.  But  there  is  a  class  of  drones,  of  literary 
voluptuaries  and  sybarites,  who  love  to  see  their  libraries  well  clothed. 

Perhaps  the  most  unique  binding  in  the  world  is  in  the  Albert  Memorial 
Exhibition  in  Exeter,  England.  It  is  a  Tegg's  edition  of  Milton  (1852),  and, 
according  to  an  aflidavit  pasted  on  the  fly-leaf,  the  binding  is  part  of  the  skin 
of  one  George  Cudmore,  who  was  executed  at  Devon  March  25,  1830.  The 
skin  is  dressed  white,  and  looks  something  like  pig-skin  in  grain  and  texture. 

Bird.  A  bird  in  the  hand  is  worth  t-wro  in  the  bush.  Will  Somers, 
the  celebrated  jester  to  Henry  VIII.,  happened  to  call  on  Lord  Surrey,  whom 
he  had  often,  i)y  a  well-timed  jest,  saved  from  the  king's  dis|)]easure,  and 
who,  consequently,  was  always  glad  to  see  him.  He  was  on  this  occasion 
ushered  into  the  aviary,  where  he  found  my  lord  amusing  himself  with  his 
9* 


102  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

birds.  Somers  happened  to  admire  the  plumage  of  a  kingfisher.  "  By  my 
Lady,  my  prince  of  wits,  I  will  give  it  to  you."  Will  skipped  about  with  de- 
light, and  swore  by  the  great  Harry  he  was  a  most  noble  gentleman.  Away 
went  Will  with  his  kingfisher,  telling  all  his  acquaintances  whom  he  met  that 
his  friend  Surrey  had  just  presented  him  with  it.  Now,  it  so  happened  that 
Lord  Northampton,  who  had  seen  this  bird  the  day  previous,  arrived  at  Lord 
Surrey's  just  as  Will  Somers  had  left,  with  the  intention  of  asking  the  bird  of 
Surrey  for  a  present  to  a  lady  friend.  Great  was  his  chagrin  on  finding  the 
bird  gone.  Surrey,  however,  consoled  him  with  saying  that  he  knew  Somers 
would  restore  it  if  he  (Surrey)  promised  him  two  some  other  day.  Away 
went  a  messenger  to  the  prince  of  wits,  whom  he  found  in  raptures  with  his 
bird,  and  to  whom  he  delivered  his  lord's  message.  Great  was  Will's  sur- 
prise, but  he  was  not  to  be  bamboozled  by  even  the  monarch  himself.  "Sirrah," 
said  Will,  "  tell  your  master  that  I  am  much  obliged  for  his  liberal  offer  of  two 
for  one,  but  that  I  prefer  one  bird  in  hand  to  two  in  the  bush."  This  is  the 
good  old  story  told  about  the  phrase,  but,  if  true,  Somers  was  quoting  rather 
than  originating,  as  the  proverb  antedates  him.  The  analogous  Fiench  saying 
is  "  Un  tiens  vaut  deux  tu  I'auras." 

Bird.  A  little  bird  told  me.  An  almost  universal  adage,  based  on  the 
popular  idea  that  this  apparently  ubiquitous  wanderer,  from  the  vantage-point 
of  the  upper  air,  spied  out  all  strange  and  secret  things,  and  revealed  them  to 
such  as  could  understand.  Thus,  in  Eccles.  x.  20  :  "  Curse  not  the  king,  no, 
not  in  thy  thought ;  and  curse  not  the  rich  in  thy  bed-chamber  :  for  a  bird  of 
the  air  shall  carry  the  voice,  and  that  which  hath  wings  shall  tell  the  matter." 
The  Greek  and  Roman  soothsayers  not  only  drew  auguries  from  the  flight  of 
birds,  but  some  pretended  to  a  knowledge  of  their  language  which  made  them 
privy  to  the  secrets  they  had  to  reveal.  And  how  was  this  knowledge 
attained  ?  There  were  various  recipes.  Pliny  recommends  a  mixture  of 
snake's  and  bird's  blood.  Melampus  is  more  exacting.  He  says  you  must 
have  your  ears  licked  by  a  dragon  ;  but  then  few  of  us  have  any  social 
acquaintance  with  dragons.  Nevertheless,  the  art  was  acquired  by  many. 
Solomon,  according  to  the  Koran,  was  first  informed  by  a  lapwing  of  all  the 
doings  of  the  Queen  of  Sheba.  Mahomet  himself  was  instructed  by  a  pigeon, 
which  whispered  in  his  ear  in  presence  of  the  multitude.  In  the  Mahabharata, 
King  Nsinara  is  taught  by  a  dove,  which  is  the  spirit  of  God.  In  the  old 
wood-cuts  of  the  "  Golden  Legends"  the  Popes  are  distinguished  by  a  dove 
whispering  in  their  ear.  In  the  Saga  of  'Siegfried  the  hero  understands  bird- 
language,  and  receives  advice  from  his  feathered  friends.  And  talking  birds, 
as  well  as  other  animals,  appear  in  the  folk-lore  of  every  country.  Proverbial 
and  popular  literature  also  abound  with  allusions  to  the  spying  habits  of  birds, 
— from  the  old  Greek  saw,  "  None  sees  me  but  the  bird  that  flieth  by,"  to  the 
passage  in  the  Nibelungen  Lied,  one  of  many,  "No  one  hears  us  but  God 
and  the  forest  bird."  An  eavesdropper  is  ever  a  gossip,  so  it  is  an  easy  tran- 
sition from  listening  to  repeating  what  is  heard. 

The  very  last  lines  of  Shakespeare's  "  Henry  IV.,  Part  II."  refer  to  our  subject  .• 
We  bear  our  civil  swords  and  native  fire 
As  far  as  France  :  I  heard  a  bird  so  sing, 
Whose  music  to  my  thinking  pleased  the  king. 

Bis  dat  qui  cito  dat  (L.,  "  He  gives  twice  who  gives  quickly"),  a  proverb 
shortened  from  the  245th  sentence  of  Publius  Syrus,  "  Inopi  beneficium  bis 
dat  qui  dat  celeriter"  ("  He  gives  a  double  benefit  to  the  needy  who  gives 
quickly").  Even  a  prompt  refusal,  according  to  the  same  authority,  should  be 
prompt:  "  Pars  est  beneficii  quod  petitur  si  cito  neges"  ("A  prompt  refusal 
has  in  part  the  grace  of  a  fav(^r  granted").  And  Shakespeare's  lines  are  used 
to  urge  expedition  in  all  things,  good  or  evil : 


Burle 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  I03 

If  it  were  done  when  'lis  done,  then  'twere  well 
It  were  done  quickly. 

Macbeth,  Act  i.,  Sc.  7. 
Elizabeth  was  dilatory  enough  in  suits,  of  her  own  nature ;  and  the  Lord  Treasurer 
:igh,  to  feed  her  humor,  would  say  to  her,  "  Madam,  you  do  well  to  let  suitors  stay,  for 
1  shall  tell  yon,  bis  dat  qui  cito  dat :  if  you  grant  them  speedily,  they  will  come  again  the 
sooner." — Bacon:  Apothegms,  No.  71. 

Bishop  (Gr.  emaKonoc,  "  overlooker,"  "  overseer").  A  curious  example  of 
word-change,  as  effected  by  the  genius  of  different  tongues,  is  furnished  by 
th6  Englisii  bishop  and  the  French  eveqiie.  Both  are  from  the  same  root, 
furnishing,  perhaps,  the  only  example  of  two  words  from  a  common  stem  so 
modifying  themselves  i)i  historical  times  as  not  to  have  a  letter  in  common. 
(Of  course  many  words  from  a  far-off  Aryan  stem  are  in  the  same  condition.) 
The  English  strikes  off  the  initial  and  terminal  syllables,  leaving  only  piscop, 
which  the  Saxon  preference  for  the  softer  labial  and  hissing  sounds  modified 
into  bishop.  £veque  (formerly  evesque)  merely  softens  the  p  into  v  and 
drops  the  last  syllable. 

Biter  Bit.  A  proverbial  phrase  meaning  that  one  is  caught  in  one's  own 
trap,  that  the  tables  have  been  turned.  Biter  is  an  old  word  for  sharper,  and 
may  be  found  with  that  meaning  at  least  as  far  back  as  16S0.  But  early  in  the 
eighteenth  century  the  humorous  diversion  known  as  a  bite  was  introduced 
into  exalted  circles.  Swift,  in  a  letter  to  Rev.  Dr.  Tisdall,  December  16,  1703, 
describes  it  thus:  "I'll  teach  you  a  way  to  outwit  Mrs.  Johnson  ;  it  is  a  new- 
fashioned  way  of  being  witty,  and  they  call  it  a  bite.  You  must  ask  a  banter- 
ing question,  or  tell  some  damned  lie  in  a  serious  manner,  and  then  she  will 
answer  or  speak  as  if  you  were  in  earnest,  and  then  cry  you,  '  Madam,  there's 
a  bite!'  I  would  not  have  you  undervalue  this,  for  it  is  the  constant  amuse- 
ment in  court,  and  everywhere  else  among  the  great  people  ;  and  I  let  you 
know  it,  in  order  to  have  it  obtain  among  you,  and  teach  you  a  new  refine- 
ment." Now,  when  the  gudgeon  refused  to  rise  to  the  bait,  one  can  well 
understand  that  the  biter  might  be  said  to  be  bit.  Another  very  plausible 
derivation  of  the  phrase,  which,  even  if  not  its  actual  origin,  undoubtedly  helped 
to  establish  it  in  popular  favor,  is  thus  suggested  by  a  correspondent  in  Notes 
and  Queries  (sixth  series,  iv.  544)  :  "A  case  came  within  my  own  knowledge 
not  long  ago,  where  the  severe  remedy  was  tried  of  biting  a  child  who  had 
contracted  the  habit  of  biting  others.  I  have  no  doubt  that  it  will  be  found 
to  be  a  recognized  part  of  old-fashioned  nursery  discipline,  which  gave  rise  to 
the  common  expression,  the  biter  bit." 

Bitter  end,  originally  a  nautical  expression  applied  to  the  end  of  a  ship's 
cable.  Admiral  Smyth's  "Sailor's  Word-Book"  explains  it  as  "that  part  of 
the  cable  which  is  abaft  the  bitts,'' — two  main  pieces  of  timber  to  which  a 
cable  is  fastened  when  a  ship  rides  at  anchor.  When  a  chain  or  rope  is  paid 
out  to  the  bitter  end,  no  more  remains  to  be  let  go.  It  seems,  therefore,  that 
the  phrase  "to  the  bitter  end"  was  originally  used  as  equivalent  to  the  ex- 
treme end,  but  the  non-nautical  mind  (misinterpreting  the  word  bitter)  gradu- 
ally made  it  synonymous  vv-ith  to  the  bitter  dregs,  to  the  death,  in  a  severe  or 
pitiless  manner,  from  a  fancied  analogy  to  such  expressions  as  a  "  bitter  foe," 
"the  bitter  east  wind,"  etc. 

Bitter  Sweet  In  "  As  you  Like  It,"  Shakespeare  makes  his  Jaques  speak 
of  "chewing  the  cud  of  sweet  and  bitter  fancies"  (Act  iv.,  Sc.  3).  Some  edi- 
tions would  have  us  read  food  instead  of  cud,  but  the  proverbial  use  of  the 
phrase  discards  all  conjectural  amendment, — the  more  so  that  in  this  case  it  is 
a  distinct  defilement  of  sense  and  sound.     The  close  approximation  of  pleas- 


104  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

ure  and  pain  has  been  noted  by  many  authors,  both  before  and  since  Martial 
wrote  his  famous  epigram, — 

DifBcilis,  facilis,  jucundus,  acerbus  es  idem ; 

Nee  tecum  possum  vivere,  nee  sine  te. 

Quarles  comes  very  close  to  the  Shakespearian  phrase  in  the  line, 
I  languish  with  these  bitter  sweet  extremes. 

Spenser  says, — 

So  every  sweet  with  sour  is  tempered  still. 

And  here  are  a  few  more  examples  : 

Still  where  rosy  pleasure  leads 

See  a  kindred  grief  pursue ; 
Behind  the  steps  that  misery  treads 

Approaching  comfort  view. 

The  hues  of  bliss  more  brightly  glow 
Chastised  by  sabler  tints  of  woe. 
And,  blended,  form  with  artful  strife 
The  strength  and  harmony  of  life. 

Gray. 

Under  pain  pleasure. 
Under  pleasure  pain  lies. 

Emerson  :   The  Sphinx. 

A  man  of  pleasure  is  a  man  of  pains. 

Young:  Night  Thoughts. 

Sweet  is  pleasure  after  pain. 

DuYDEN  :  Alexander's  Feast. 

Thus  grief  still  treads  upon  the  heels  of  pleasure. 

CoNGREVE  :   The  Old  Bachelor,  Act  v.,  Sc.  i. 

And  sometimes  tell  what  sweetness  is  in  gall. 

Wyat. 

Good-night,  good-night .'     Parting  is  such  sweet  sorrow 
That  I  shall  say  good-night  till  it  be  morrow. 

Shakespeare  :  Romeo  and  yuliet.  Act  ii.,  Sc.  2. 

Black  and  White, — i.e.,  black  ink  and  white  paper.  To  put  a  thing  down 
in  black  and  white  is  to  preserve  it  in  print  or  in  writing.  The  phrase  is  at 
least  as  old  as  Ben  Jonson's  time  : 

I  have  it  here  in  black  and  white  {pulls  out  the  warrant).— Every  Man  in  his  Humour, 
Act  iv.,  Sc.  2. 

There  is  a  current  phrase  for  a  paradoxical  or  illogical  reasoner,  "  He  would 
try  to  prove  that  black  is  white."  Curiously  enough,  in  the  etymological  sense 
black  is  white.  The  word  black  (Anglo-Saxon  blac,  blaec)  is  fundamentally 
the  same  as  the  old  German  blach,  now  only  to  be  found  in  two  or  three  com- 
pounds,— e.g.,  Blachfeld,  a  level  field.  It  meant  originally  level,  bare,  and  was 
used  to  denote  black,  bare  of  color.  But  the  nasalized  form  of  black  is  blank, 
which  also  meant  originally  bare,  and  was  used  in  the  sense  of  white,  because 
white  is  (apparently)  bare  of  color. 

Black  Box.  When  Charles  II.  was  king  and  the  Duke  of  York  heir 
presumptive,  a  large  party  of  the  common  people  wished  to  have  the  Duke 
of  Monmouth,  Charles's  putative  son,  recognized  as  heir  to  the  cr(jwn,  and  a 
legend  was  started  that  there  existed  somewhere  a  black  box  containing  a 
written  marriage  contract  between  the  king  and  Monmouth's  mother,  the 
"bold,  brown,  and  beautiful"  Lucy  Walters.  In  "  Lorna  Doone,"  John  Ridd 
says  of  his  mother,  "  She  often  declared  that  it  would  be  as  famous'  in  history 
as  the  Rye  House,  or  the  meal-tub,  or  the  great  black  box,  in  which  she  was 
a  firm  believer," 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  I05 

Black  Monday.  The  name  given  to  a  memorable  Easter  Monday  in  the 
year  1351,  which  was  very  dark  and  misty.  A  great  deal  of  hail  fell,  and  the 
cold  is  said  to  have  been  so  intense  that  hundreds  died  from  its  effects.  The 
name  afterwards  came  to  be  applied  to  the  Monday  after  Easter  of  each 
year.  It  is  also  a  school-boy  term  for  the  Monday  un  which  school  reopens 
after  vacation. 

Black  "Watch.  The  name  by  which  the  Forty-Second  Highlanders  are 
familiarly  known  in  the  British  army.  Among  the  many  deeds  of  daring  per- 
formed by  them  in  recent  wars  three  stand  out  pre-eminent.  They  were  one 
of  the  three  Highland  regiments  with  which  Sir  Colin  Campbell  (afterwards 
Lord  Clyde)  broke  the  Russian  centre  at  the  Alma,  on  the  20th  of  Septem- 
ber, 1854.  They  formed  part  of  the  immortal  "thin  red  line  tipped  with 
steel"  against  which  an  overwhelming  Russian  force  shattered  itself  in  the 
memorable  attack  upon  Balaklava  five  weeks  later.  In  the  advance  upon 
Coomassie  during  General  Wolseley's  Ashantee  campaign,  in  January,  1874, 
the  "  Black  Watch"  bore  the  brunt  of  the  great  fight  at  Amoaful,  suffering 
severe  loss  in  carrying  at  the  point  of  the  bayonet  a  thick  wood  held  by  na- 
tive sharp-shooters.  Indeed,  they  have  fully  obeyed  the  injunction  with  which 
their  chief  led  them  up  the  Alma  hill-side  :  "Now,  my  men,  make  me  proud 
of  the  Highland  Brigade." 

Blarney  literally  means  a  little  field  (Irish  Mama,  diminutive  of  Mar,  a 
"field").  Its  popular  signification  of  flattery,  palavering  rhodomontade,  or 
wheedlingeloquence  may  have  originated  in  Lord  Clancarty's  frequent  promises, 
when  the  prisoner  of  Sir  George  Care  w,  to  surrender  his  strong  castle  of  Blarney 
to  the  soldiers  of  the  queen,  and  as  often  inventing  some  smooth  and  plausi- 
ble excuse  for  exonerating  himself  from  his  promise.  Blarney  Castle,  now  a 
very  imposing  ruin,  situated  in  the  village  ot  Blarney,  some  four  miles  from 
Cork,  was  built  in  the  early  part  of  the  fifteenth  century  by  Cormac  McCarthy, 
the  Prince  of  Desmond.  No  one  appears  to  know  the  exact  origin  of  the 
famous  Blarney  Stone,  or  whence  it  derived  its  miraculous  power  of  endowing 
those  who  kiss  it  with  the  gift  of  "  blarney."  In  some  way  it  found  itself  one 
day  upon  the  very  pinnacle  of  the  castle  tower  with  the  date  1703  carved  upon 
it.  It  is  now  preserved  and  held  in  place  by  two  iron  girders  between  huge 
merlons  of  the  northern  projecting  parapet,  nearly  a  hundred  feet  above  the 
ground.  To  kiss  it  has  been  the  ambition  of  many  generations,  who  labori- 
ously climb  up  to  its  dangerous  eminence.  Sir  Walter  Scott  himself  did  not 
feel  degraded  by  following  the  general  example.  Like  the  famous  toe  of  St. 
Peter's"^  statue  in  Rome,  the  lip-service  of  tourists  is  gradually  wearing  it 
away.  The  date  has  already  been  obliterated,  and  the  shape  and  size  have 
altered  so  much  that  people  who  visit  it  at  long  intervals  find  it  difficult  to 
believe  it  is  the  same  stone. 

Blazes,  in  English  and  American  slang,  a  euphemism  for  the  infernal 
regions,  from  the  flames  which  theologians  are  wont  to  describe.  This  is 
evidently  the  meaning  in  expressions  like  "  Go  to  blazes  !"'  But  in  what  looks 
at  first  sight  like  an  identical  expression,  "  Drunk  as  blazes,"  another  ety- 
mology has  been  suggested,  making  it  a  corruption  of  Blaisers  or  Blaizers, — 
i.e.,  the  mummers  who  took  part  in  the  processions  in  honor  of  the  good  bishop 
and  martyr  St.  Blaise,  patron  saint  of  English  wool-combers.  The  uniform 
conviviality  on  these  occasions  made  the  simile  an  appropriate  one. 

Blessing— Curse.  Walter  Scott  makes  one  of  his  characters  describe 
Rob  Roy  as  "o'er  bad  for  blessing,  and  o'er  good  for  banning."  This  same 
antithesis  had  already  been  put  into  proverbial  verse  form  : 


Io6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Too  bad  for  a  blessing,  too  good  for  a  curse, 

I  wish  in  my  soul  you  were  better  or  worse. 

In  the  same  way  Coriieille  said  of  Richelieu,  after  his  death, — 

II  a  fait  trop  de  bien  pour  en  dire  du  mal, 
11  a  fait  trop  de  mal  pour  en  dii'e  du  bien, 

BlinWRian's  Holiday,  a  humorous  locution,  formerly  used  more  widely 
than  at  present,  to  designate  the  time  just  before  the  candies  or  lamps  are 
lighted,  when  it  is  too  dark  to  work  and  one  is  obliged  to  rest,  or  "take  a 
holiday."  With  the  superior  readiness  of  gas  and  electricity,  the  holiday  now 
need  be  of  infinitesimal  duration.  The  phrase  is  found  as  far  back  as  1599, 
in  Nash"s  "  Lenten  Stuffe"  {Harl.  Misc.,  vi.  167)  :  "  What  will  not  blind  Cupid 
do  in  the  night,  which  is  his  blindman's  holiday  ?"  Swift's  "  Polite  Conversa- 
tion," a  mine  of  contemporary  slang,  does  not  overlook  this  phrase:  "Indeed, 
madam,  it  is  blindman's  holiday ;  we  shall  soon  be  all  of  a  color." 

Blocks  of  Five,  a  phrase  that  became  famous  in  American  politics  during 
the  Harrison-Cleveland  Presidential  campaign  (188S).  The  Democratic  man- 
agers made  wide  circulation  of  a  letter  alleged  to  have  been  written  by  Colonel 
W.  W.  Dudley,  Treasurer  of  the  Republican  National  Committee.  Its  most 
salient  feature  was  a  recommendation  to  secure  "floaters  in  blocks  of  five." 
This  was  construed  to  mean  the  purchase  of  voters  at  wholesale  rates.  Colonel 
Dudley  denied  the  letter,  and  instituted  suits  for  libel,  which  were  abandoned 
after  the  election. 

I  had  attributed  at  least  originality  to  the  promoter  of  "  floaters  in  blocks  of  five,"  but  it 
appears  that,  after  all,  we  have  here  only  a  modification  of  an  old  scheme.  Says  Suidas  under 
the  word  Sejcd^ecr^at,  "  This  phrase  originated  from  the  practice  of  bribing  men  by  tens. 
Candidates  for  office,  or  persons  with  a  job  to  carry  through,  used  to  deal  out  their  bribes  to 
blocks  of  ten."  Anytus,  the  accuser  of  Socrates,  usually  has  the  discredit  of  introducing  this 
syst-em  into  the  courts,  and,  as  a  recent  commentator  remarks,  "  doubtless  a  juryman  would  feel 
greater  confidence  if  he  knew  he  had  nine  others  sitting  by  him  who  had  been  bribed." 
Scholars  have  always  been  in  the  dark  about  the  details  of  this  scheme,  and  a  monograph  on 
the  subject,  dashed  off  by  Colonel  Dudley  in  his  leisure  hours  before  the  next  election,  would  be 
very  gratefully  received. — M.  H.  Morgan,  in  a  letter  to  N.  Y.  Nation  of  November  21,  1S89. 

Blood  is  thicker  than  ■water, — i.e.,  a  relation  is  dearer  than  a  stranger. 
This  phrase  is  sometimes  ascribed  to  Commodore  Tatnall,  of  the  United 
States  Navy,  who  assisted  the  English  in  Chinese  waters,  and,  in  his  despatch 
to  his  government,  justified  his  interference  in  these  words.  Sometimes  it  is 
ascribed  to  Scott,  who  puts  it  in  the  mouth  of  Bailie  Nicol  Jarvie  in  "Guy 
Mannering,"  ch.  xxvii.  But  Tatnall  and  Scott  were  merely  "quoting  an  old 
saw  duly  recorded  in  "  Ray's  Proverbs"  (1672),  which  was  probably  in  common 
use  long  before.  Blood  stands  for  traceable,  admitted  consanguinity;  water, 
for  the  chill  and  colorless  fluid  that  flows  through  the  veins  of  the  rest  of 
mankind,  homines  homini  lupi,  who  take  but  cold  interest  in  the  happiness 
of  a  stranger.  Water,  too,  in  our  early  writers,  was  symbolic  of  looseness, 
inattachment,  falsity.  "Unstable  as  water"  is  the  scriptural  phrase.  Thicker 
signifies  greater  consistency  and  substance, — hence  closeness  of  attachment, 
adhesiveness.  "  As  thick  as  thieves,"  =  as  close  as  bad  men  when  banding  for 
evil  enterprise.  Blood  is  always  thought  binding.  Conspirators  have  signed 
their  bonds  with  their  own  blood,  as  martyrs  have  their  attestation  of  the 
truth.  "  He  cemented  the  union  of  the  two  families  by  marriage,"  is  a  stock 
phrase  with  historians.  Quitting  metaphor  for  physical  fact,  we  find  that  the 
blood  as  well  as  the  hair  of  oxen  has  been  used  to  bind  mortar  together  and 
give  greater  consistency  than  mere  water,  as  is  reported  of  the  White  Tower 
of  London. 

The  proverb  may  also  allude  to  the  spiritual  relationship  which,  according 
to  the  Roman  Catholic  Church,  is  created  between  the  sponsor  and  the  child 


LITERAR  Y  CURIOSITIES. 


107 


whom  he  brings  to  the  waters  of  baptism.     The  relationship  by  blood  would 
probably  be  more  thought  of  than  one  originating  in  water. 

Bloody,  a  vulgar  intensive  used  in  a  variety  of  .ways,  especially  by  London 
roughs.  Dr.  Murray  rejects  all  derivations  which  would  imply  any  profane 
origin,  such  as  'sblood  or  the  very  absurd  By'r  Lady  suggested  byMaxO'Rell. 
He  holds  that  there  is  good  reason  to  think  it  was  at  first  a  reference  to  the 
habits  of  the  "bloods"  or  aristocratic  rowdies  of  the  end  of  the  seventeenth 
and  the  beginning  of  the  eighteenth  century,  iiloody  drunk  must  originally  have 
meant  as  drunk  as  a  blood  ;  thence  the  adjective  was  extended  to  kindred  ex- 
pressions, its  popularity  being  greatly  enhanced  by  its  sanguinary  sound  and 
its  affiliation  with  the  adjective  in  bloody  murder,  bloody  butcher,  etc. 

Bloody  chasm,  To  shake  hands  across  the.  An  American  phrase 
which  sprang  up  immediately  after  the  civil  war,  among  those  peace-loving 
orators,  writers,  and  speakers  who  were  anxious  to  obliterate  all  memories  of 
the  fratricidal  struggle.  People  of  an  opposite  temper  were  said  to  "  wave  the 
bloody  shirt." 

Bloody  shirt.  In  American  political  slang,  "  to  wave  the  bloody  shirt," 
sometimes  euphemized  into  "the  ensanguined  garment,"  means  to  keep  up 
the  sectional  issues  of  the  civil  war  by  appeals  to  prejudice  and  passion. 
A  probable  origin  of  the  phrase  may  be  found  in  a  Corsican  custom  nearly, 
if  not  qidte,  obsolete.  In  the  days  of  the  fierce  vendette — the  feuds  which 
divided  Corsican  family  from  family— bloodshed  was  a  common  occurrence. 
Before  the  burial  of  a  murdered  man  the  gridata  was  celebrated.  This  word* 
which  literally  means  a  crying  aloud,  may  be  translated  a  "  wake."  The  body 
of  the  victim  was  laid  upon  a  plank  ;  his  useless  fire-arms  were  placed  near 
his  hand,  and  his  blood-stained  shirt  was  hung  above  his  head.  Around  the 
rude  bier  sat  a  circle  of  women,  wrapped  in  their  black  mantles,  who  rocked 
themselves  to  and  fro  with  strange  wailings.  The  men,  relatives  and  friends 
of  the  murdered  man,  fully  armed,  stood  around  the  room,  mad  with  thirst 
for  revenge.  Then  one  of  the  women — the  wife  or  mother  or  sister  of  the 
dead  man — with  a  sharp  scream  would  snatch  the  bloody  shirt,  and,  waving 
it  aloft,  begin  the  vocero, — the  lamentation.  This  rhythmic  discourse  was 
made  up  of  alternate  expressions  of  love  for  the  dead  and  hatred  of  his 
enemies  ;  and  its  startling  images  and  tremendous  curses  were  echoed  in  the 
faces  and  mutterings  of  the  armed  mourners.  It  was  by  a  not  unnatural  tran- 
sition that  the  phrase  "bloody  shirt"  became  applied  to  demagogical  utter- 
ances concerning  the  Southern  Rebellion. 

Blue  is  a  favorite  adjective  for  the  impossible  in  popular  phrase  and  fable. 
The  Blue  Flower  of  the  German  romanticists  represented  the  ideal,  the 
unattainable;  and  in  France  Alphonse  Karr  has  domesticated  the  similar 
expression  "  blue  roses."  "  Once  in  a  blue  moon"  means  never.  "To  blush 
like  a  blue  dog,"  an  expression  that  is  preserved  in  Swift's  "  Polite  Conver- 
sation," means  not  to  blush  at  all.  More  than  a  century  earlier,  however, 
Stephen  Gosson,  in  the  "  Apologie  for  the  School  of  Abuse"  (1579),  speaks 
with  similar  meaning  of  "blushing  like  a  black  dog."  Sometimes  blue  is 
used  as  an  intensive.  Thus,  school-boys  speak  of  "blue  fear"  and  "blue 
funk,"  and  the  phrase  to  "drink  till  all  is  blue"  is  at  least  as  old  as  Ford's 
|- Lady's  Trial"  (1639).  "Blue  ruin"  is  a  popular  English  epithet  for  an 
inferior  sort  of  gin,  and  finds  its  analogue  in  the  French  "  vin  bleu"  applied 
to  thin  sour  wine.  In  French  also,  as  in  English,  blue  is  a  synonyme  for 
despondency.  "To  be  in  the  blues,"  "to  have  a  fit  of  the  blue  devils,"  has 
its  Gallic  equivalent  in  "en  voir  des  bleues" — a  variant  of  "en  voir  des 
grises" — and  "  en  etre  bleu,"  "  en  rester  tout  bleu," — all  meaning  to  despair,  to 


lo8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

meet  with  suffering  or  disappointment.  In  English  slang  "to  talk  blue"  is 
to  talk  immodestly.  "  Blue  blazes"  means  hell, — probably  from  the  sulphur 
associated  with  it.  A  "blue  apron"  is  an  amateur  statesman,  from  the  blue 
apron  once  borne  by  tradesmen  generally, — now  restricted  to  butchers,  fish- 
mongers, poulterers,  etc. 

Blue  Blood.  This  term  comes  from  the  Spanish  expression  sangre  azul 
applied  to  the  aristocracy  of  Castile  and  Aragon.  After  the  Moors  were 
driven  out  of  Spain,  the  aristocracy  was  held  to  consist  of  those  who  traced 
their  lineage  back  to  the  time  before  the  Moorish  conquest,  and  especially  to 
the  fair-haired  and  light-complexioned  Goths.  Their  veins  naturally  appeared 
through  their  skin  of  a  blue  color,  while  the  blood  of  the  masses,  contaminated 
by  the  Moorish  infusion  and  to  lesser  degree  by  miscegenation  with  negroes 
and  Basques,  showed  dark  upon  their  hands  and  faces.  So  the  white  Span- 
iards of  old  race  came  to  declare  that  their  blood  was  blue,  while  that  of  the 
common  people  was  black.  Owing  to  intermarriage,  there  is  very  little 
genuine  blue  blood  left  in  Spain  ;  but  a  Spanish  family  remaining  perfectly  fair 
and  purely  Gothic,  and  holding  position  and  rank  for  centuries,  is  to  be  found 
in  Yucatan  at  the  present  day. 

In  England,  however,  it  was  anciently  held  that  the  thick  and  dark  blood 
was  the  best.     "  Thin-blooded"  or  "  pale-blooded"  means  weak  and  cowardly. 
Shakespeare  never  loaded  words  more  heavily  with  significance  than  when  he 
made  Lucio  call  Angelo,  in  "  Measure  for  Measure," — 
A  man  whose  blood 
Is  very  snow-broth  ;   one  who  never  feels 
The  wanton  stings  and  motions  of  the  sense. 


Blue  Hen's  Chickens,  a  nickname  for  the  inhabitants  of  Delaware.  The 
accepted  origin  is  that  one  Captain  Caldwell,  who  commanded  a  Delaware 
regiment,  was  notorious  for  his  love  of  cock-fighting.  He  drilled  his  men 
admirably,  and  they  were  known  in  the  army  as  "  Caldwell's  game-cocks." 
The  gallant  captain  held  a  peculiar  theory  that  no  cock  was  really  game  unless 
it  came  from  a  blue  hen  ;  and  this  led  to  the  substitution  of  Blue  Hen's 
Chickens  as  a  nickname  for  his  regiment.  After  the  Revolutionary  war  the 
nickname  was  applied  indiscriminately  to  all  Delawareans. 

Blue  Lights,  an  American  political  term.  When  the  British  fleet  lay  off 
New  London,  Connecticut,  during  the  war  of  1812,  blue-lights  were  frequently 
seen  near  the  shore.  These  Commodore  Decatur,  whose  ships  lay  near  by, 
attributed  to  traitors  ;  though,  indeed,  facts  go  to  prove  that  no  American  was 
ever  discovered  burning  one.  Goodrich,  in  his  "  Recollections,"  says,  "  Blue 
Lights,  meaning  treason  on  the  part  of  Connecticut  Federalists  during  the 
war,  is  a  standard  word  in  the  flash  dictionary  of  Democracy."  Again,  "  Con- 
necticut Blue  Lights  are  the  grizzly  monster  with  which  the  nursing  fathers 
and  mothers  of  Democracy  frighten  their  children  into  obedience — ^just  before 
elections." 

Blue  Nose,  a  common  nickname  for  a  Nova-Scotian,  sometimes  explained 
as  an  allusion  to  the  purple  tinge  not  rarely  seen  on  the  noses  of  Nova-Sco- 
tians,  and  presumably  due  to  the  coldness  of  the  winters  ;  sometimes  derived 
from  the  Blue-nose  potato,  a  great  favorite  for  its  delicacy.  It  is  more  prob- 
able that  the  name  of  the  potato  was  based  on  the  sobriquet,  and  not  vice  versa. 
Hence  Blue-nose  potato  means  a  Nova  Scotia  potato. 

Blue-Stocking,  a  humorous  and  rather  contemptuous  epithet  applied  to 
an  authoress  or  a  lady  of  any  literary  pretensions  or  attainments.  With  the 
altered  standard  of  judgment  as  to  female  education  the  term  has  fallen  into 
comparative  disuse.      In  the  eighteenth  century  and   the  beginning  of  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  109 

present  it  was  very  common.  The  familiar  explanation  is  that  the  term  was 
first  applied  to  a  female  coterie  in  Dr.  Johnson's  time.  But  it  is  a  question 
whether  it  arose  at  Mrs.  Montagu's  or  at  Mrs.  Vesey's  receptions,  or  what 
was  the  exact  reason  of  its  adoption.  One  story  states  that  a  Mr.  Stillingfleet 
was  one  of  the  males  admitted  to  Mrs.  Montagu's  evening  i)arties,  that  his 
dress  was  remarkably  plain,  even  to  a  pair  of  blue  worsted  stockings  in  lieu 
of  silk,  but  that  his  conversation  was  so  stimulating  that  in  his  absence  the 
remark  was  frequently  made,  "We  can  do  nothing  without  the  blue  stock- 
ings." And  thus  by  degrees  the  title  was  established.  This  version  seems  to 
be  supported  by  a  passage  in  one  of  Mrs.  Montagu's  letters  dated  1757,  where 
she  observes  that  Mr.  Stillingfleet  "has  left  off  his  old  friends  and  his  blue 
stockings,  and  has  taken  to  frequenting  operas  and  other  gay  assemblies." 
But  in  the  "Memoirs"  of  one  of  the  greatest  of  all  the  IJlue-stockings,  Mrs. 
Elizabeth  Carter  herself  (published  in  1S16),  it  is  said  of  Mrs.  Vesey's  literary 
parties  that  "  there  was  no  ceremony,  no  cards,  and  no  supper.  Even  dress 
was  so  little  regarded  that  a  foreign  gentleman  who  was  to  go  there  with  an 
acquaintance  was  told  in  jest  that  it  was  so  little  necessary  that  he  might 
appear  there,  if  he  pleased,  in  blue  stockings.  This  he  understood  in  the 
literal  sense,  and,  when  he  spoke  of  it  in  French,  called  it  the  Bas  Bleu  meet- 
ing. And  this  was  the  origin  of  the  ludicrous  appellation  of  the  Blue  Stocking 
Club."  Hannah  More,  also,  in  the  "advertisement"  to  her  pleasant  little 
poem  "The  Bas  Bleu;  or,  Conversation,"  writes,  "The  following  trifle  owes 
its  birth  and  name  to  the  mistake  of  a  foreigner  of  distinction,  who  gave  the 
literal  title  of  the  Bas  Bleu  to  a  small  party  of  friends  who  have  often  been 
called,  by  way  of  pleasantry,  the  Blue-Stockings."  Surely  Hannah  must  have 
known  something  definite  about  the  derivation  of  the  title  of  her  own  beloved 
clique.  She,  too,  states  that  the  society  used  to  meet  at  Mrs.  Vesey's,  not  at 
Mrs.  Montagu's. 

Blue,  True.  The  fancy  that  blue  was  the  color  of  truth,  as  green  was  of  in- 
constancy, is  a  very  ancient  one,  dating  back  to  the  party  distinctions  in  ancient 
Rome.  In  the  factions  of  the  Circus  of  the  Lower  Empire  the  emperor  Anas- 
tasius  secretly  favored  the  Cr^^w,  Justinian  openly  protected  the  Blues:  thence 
the  former  became  the  emblem  of  disaffection,  and  the  latter  of  loyalty.  The 
idea  appears  very  early  in  English  literature.  Thus,  in  the  "  Squiere's  Tale" 
of  Chaucer,  we  read, — 

And  by  hire  bedde's  bed  she  made  a  mew, 

And  covered  it  with  velouettes  blew, 

In  signe  of  trouthe  that  is  in  woman  sene. 

So  in  his  "  Court  of  Love,"  line  246  : 

Lo  yondir  folke  (quod  she)  that  knele  in  blew, 

They  were  the  color  ay  and  ever  shal, 
In  signe  they  were  and  ever  wil  be  true, 

Withoutin  change. 

"True  blue"  as  the  partisan  color  of  the  Covenanters,  in  opposition  to  the 
scarlet  badge  of  Charles  L,  was  first  adopted  by  the  soldiers  of  Lesley  and 
Montrose  in  1639,  partly  under  the  influence  of  the  Mosaical  precept,  "  Speak 
to  the  children  of  Israel,  and  bid  them  that  they  make  them  fringes  in  the 
borders  of  their  garments,  throughout  their  generations,  and  that  they  put 
upon  the  fringe  of  the  borders  a  riband  of  blue"  {Numbers  xv.  38).  The 
phrase  true  blue  now  has  a  general  application,  and  means  stanch,  loyal,  firm 
in  the  faith. 

Boat,  To  be  in  the  same,  a  proverbial  expression,  common  to  many  lan- 
guages, meaning  to  be  embarked  in  the  same  enterprise,  to  be  in  the  same 
condition,  especially  if  unfortunate.     The  words  "  we   are  in  the  same  boat" 
10 


no  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

were  used  by  Clement  I.,  Bishop  of  Rome  (circa  a.d.  91  to  100),  in  a  letter 
to  the  church  of  Corinth  on  the  occasion  of  a  dissension.  The  letter,  which 
is  still  extant,  is  prized  as  an  important  memorial  of  the  early  Church. 

Have  ye  pain,  so  likewise  pain  have  we. 
For  in  one  buat  we  both  embarked  be. 

Hudson  :  Judith,  iii.  1.  352  (1584). 

Boat,  To  have  an  oar  in  another's.  To  meddle  with  other  people's 
affairs. 

The  pope  must  have  his  ore  in  everie  man's  bote,  his  spoone  in  everie  man's  dish. — Ho- 
linshed:   Chronicles,  ii.  173  (i577)- 

Bobolition,  Bobolitionist,  derisive  epithets  for  Abolition,  Abolitionist, 
used  by  the  enemies  of  the  emancipation  movement  in  its  early  days.  A  cor- 
respondent of  the  New  York  Nation  remembered  having  seen  the  word  bobo- 
lition at  least  as  early  as  1824  "on  a  broadsheet  containing  what  purported  to 
be  an  account  of  a  bobolition  celebration  at  Boston,  July  14.  At  the  top  of 
the  broadsheet  was  a  grotesque  procession  of  negroes.  Among  the  toasts,  or 
sentiments,  were  the  following  : 

"  Massa  Wilberforce,  de  brack  man  bery  good  friend ;  may  he  nebber  want 
a  bolish  to  he  boot." 

"  De  Nited  State  ;  de  land  ob  libity,  'cept  he  keep  slave  at  de  South.  No 
cheer !     Shake  de  head  !" 

"  Dis  year  de  fourth  ob  July  come  on  de  fifth  ;  so,  ob  course,  de  fourteenth 
come  on  de  fifteenth." 

Bock  beer,  a  corruption  of  "Eimbecker"  beer,  its  original  home  being 
the  little  town  of  Eimbeck,  Hanover.  So  famous  was  it  all  through  the 
Middle  Ages  that  no  other  beer,  nor  even  the  costliest  wine,  could  compare 
with  it  in  popularity.  Attemjits  were  soon  made  to  produce  it  in  other  local- 
ities. Thus  the  remembrance  of  the  original  name  was  gradually  lost.  "Eim- 
beck" became  successively  "  Eimbock,"  "ein  bock,"  and  finally  plain  "bock." 
This  popular  word-transformation  is  already  several  hundred  years  old,  for  in 
the  Land-  und  Polizeiordnung  of  1616  a  "bock  meet"  is  referred  to,  which 
"should  only  be  brewed  to  meet  the  necessities  of  the  sick."  Popular  ety- 
mology, of  course,  insists  that  bock  beer  means  goat  beer,  bock  being  German 
for  goat,  and  this  fancy  is  perpetuated  by  the  picture  of  a  goat  rampant,  which 
usually  appears  on  tavern-signs  and  other  advertisements  of  the  beer.  Tra- 
dition even  furnishes  a  myth  to  explain  the  phrase.  Long  ago,  it  is  said,  the 
devil  appeared  in  the  guise  of  a  goat  to  a  love-sick  and  rejected  swain,  and 
taught  him  the  secret  of  making  bock  beer  for  the  customary  price  of  his  soul. 
The  people  raved  over  the  new  decoction.  The  brewer  prospered  and  married 
his  sweetheart.  At  the  end  of  the  stipulated  time  the  devil  appeared  to  claim 
his  own,  but  was  skilfully  inveigled  into  a  bock  beer  intoxication,  and  when  he 
awoke  from  his  drunken  stupor  he  was  glad  to  sneak  home  without  his  prize. 
Bock  beer,  it  may  be  added,  differs  from  ordinary  lager  only  in  that  an  excess 
of  malt  is  added  to  make  it  sweeter.  It  will  not  keep  as  long  as  lager.  Brewed 
in  January  or  February,  it  is  placed  on  the  market  in  April  or  May,  and  is  in 
season  for  about  a  month. 

Bogus,  American  slang  for  counterfeit,  spurious,  fictitious,  which  has  now 
passed  into  general  circulation.  The  amateur  etymologist  has  made  many 
interesting  guesses  as  to  the  origin  of  this  word,  but  none  have  any  philo- 
logical value.  Here  is  the  most  amusing  and  the  most  widely  current, 
copied  from  the  Boston  Daily  Courier  of  June  12,  1857: 

The  word  "  bogus,"  we  believe,  is  a  corruption  of  the  name  of  one  Bo'ghese,  a  verj^  corrupt 
individual  who,  twenty  years  ago  or  more,  did  a  tremendous  business  in  the  way  of  supplying 


LITER AR  V  CURIOSITIES.  1 1  r 

the  great  West  and  portions  of  the  Southwest  with  a  vast  amount  of  counterfeit  bills,  and  bills 
of  fictitious  banks  which  never  had  any  existence  out  of  the  "  forgetive  bniin"  of  him,  the 
said  "  Borghese."  The  Western  people,  who  are  rather  rapid  in  their  talk  when  excited  soon 
fell  into  the  habit  of  shortening  the  Italian  wnmcoi  Borghese  to  the  more  handy  one  oi  Bogus 
and  his  bills,  and  all  other  bills  of  like  character,  were  universally  styled  bogus  currency."  ' 
The  earliest  use  of  the  word  so  far  discovered  is  recorded  in  the  "  New 
English  Dictionary"  as  occurring  in  the  Painesville  (O.)  Telegraph  o{ ]\x\^  d 
and  November  2,  1S27.  It  is  there  a  substantive,  applied  to  an  apparatus  for 
coining  false  money.  Dr.  Murray  has  a  sly  hit  at  the  "bogus  derivations 
circumstantially  given,"  but  does  not  commit  himself  to  any. 

Boiled  or  Biled  Shirt,  a  white  shirt,— especially  when  newly  laundried, 

a  term  of  mild  derision,  if  not  actual  reproach,  which  sprang  up  among  the 
pioneer  miners  of  the  Western  States,  and  is  still  more  common  in  the  West 
than  in  the  East. 

But  they  were  rough  in  those  times !  If  a  man  wanted  a  fight  on  his  hands  without  any 
annoying  delay,  all  he  had  to  do  was  to  appear  in  public  in  a  white  shirt  or  a  stovepipe  hat 
and  he  would  be  accommodated.  For  those  people  hated  aristocrats.  They  had  a  par- 
ticular and  malignant  animosity  toward  what  they  called  a  biled  shut.— Mark  Twain: 
Roughing  It.  '  -    • 

Boodle.  There  are  two  American  slang  words  spelt  thus,  each  distinct  in 
meaning  and  apparently  of  different  origin  and  etymology.  The  first  and 
elder  word,  which  now  appears  more  frequently  in  the  intensified  form  caboo- 
dle, meaning  a  crowd,  a  company,  is  not  impossibly  derived  from  the  old 
English  d(?Ue/,  a  bundle,  and  there  is  reason  to  believe  that  it  is  a  survival  of  a 
former  English  colloquialism.  F.  Markham,  in  his  "Book  of  Honour,"  iv.  2, 
speaks  of  "  all  the  buddle  and  musse"  of  great  men.  The  later  arid  no\v 
more  common  word,  meaning  money,  and  especially  money  gained  by  gam- 
bling, venality,  or  other  dubious  methods,  or  employed  for  corrupt  political  pur- 
poses, may  be  a  form  of  the  Dutch  word  i>uzde/,  which  means  "  pocket"  and 
also  "  purse." 

The  Professor  has  been  to  see  me.  Came  in,  glorious,  at  about  twelve  o'clock,  last  night. 
Said  he  had  been  with  "  the  boys."  On  inquiry,  found  that  "  the  boys"  were  certain  baldish 
and  grayish  old  gentlemen  that  one  sees  or  hears  of  in  various  important  stations  of  society. 
Then  he  began  to  quote  Byron  about  Santa  Croce,  and  maintained  that  he  could  "  furnish  out 
creation"  in  all  its  details  from  that  set  of  his.  He  would  like  to  have  the  whole  boodle  of 
them  (I  remonstrated  against  this  word,  but  the  Professor  said  it  was  a  diabolish  good  word, 
and  he  would  have  no  other),  with  their  wives  and  children,  shipwrecked  on  a  remote  island) 
just  to  see  how  splendidly  they  would  reorganize  society.— O.  W.  Holmes  :  Autocrat  0/ the 
Break/ast-Ta6le,p.  zzo. 

Book.  "The  best  way  to  become* acquainted  with  a  subject  is  to  write  a 
book  about  it."  This  saying  has  been  attributed  both  to  Beaconsfield  and  to 
Archbishop  Thomson.  Buf  before  the  time  of  either.  Lord  Karnes  (1696- 
1782),  according  to  Tytler's  Life,  had  advised  Sir  Gilbert  Elliot,  who  com- 
plained of  a  lack  of  information  on  a  certain  branch  of  political  economy, 
"Shall  I  tell  you,  my  friend,  how  you  will  come  to  understand  it.?  Go  and 
write  a  book  upon  it."  And  over  in  France  one  of  Lord  Karnes's  contempo- 
raries had  given  vent  to  exactly  the  same  idea  :  "  The  best  way  to  become 
familiar  with  any  given  subject  is  to  write  a  book  upon  it."  But  a  far  safer 
rule  is  that  propounded  by  the  Autocrat  of  the  Breakfast-Table  (p.  134),  as 
applicable  to  writing  as  to  speaking:  "Don't  I  read  up  various  matters  to 
talk  about  at  this  table  or  elsewhere  ? — No,  that  is  the  last  thing  I  would 
do.  I  will  tell  you  my  rule.  Talk  about  those  things  you  have  long  had  in 
your  mind,  and  listen  to  what  others  say  about  subjects  you  have  studied 
but  recently.  Knowledge  and  timber  shouldn't  be  much  used  till  they  are 
seasoned." 

Book,  Beware  of  the  man  of  one.    A  proverbial  expression  frequently 


112  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

quoted  in  the  Latin  form,  "Cave  ab  honiine  unius  libri."  T!ie  phrase  is  often 
attributed  to  Terence,  but  is  not  to  be  found  in  his  extant  works.  Probably 
it  originated  in  the  story  of  St.  Thomas  Aquinas,  thus  related  by  Jeremy 
Taylor  :  "  Aquinas  was  once  asked  with  what  compendium  a  man  might  best 
become  learned.  He  answered,  By  reading  of  one  book  ;  meaning  that  an 
understanding  entertained  with  several  objects  is  intent  upon  neither,  and 
profits  not." 

Southey,  in  "The  Doctor,"  commenting  on  this  passage,  says,  "The  man 
of  one  book  is,  indeed,  proverbially  formidable  to  all  conversational  figu- 
rantes. Like  your  sharp-shooter,  he  knows  his  piece  perfectly  and  is  sure  of 
his  shot."     And  he  quotes  the  following  lines  from  Lope  de  Vega  : 

Que  es  estudiante  notable 
El  que  lo  es  de  un  libro  solo. 
Que  quando  no  estavan  llenos 
Lie  tantos  libros  agenos, 
Como  van  dexando  atras, 
Sabian  los  hombres  mas 
Porque  estudiavan  en  menos. 

Johnson  tells  how  he  once  met  the  poet  Collins,  after  the  latter  became 
deranged,  carrying  with  him  an  English  Testament.  "  I  have  but  one  book," 
said  Collins,  "  but  it  is  the  best."  This  is  alluded  to  in  his  epitaph  in  Chich- 
ester Cathedral : 

Sought  on  one  book  his  troubled  mind  to  rest, 
And  wisely  deemed  the  book  of  God  the  best. 

Sometimes  the  phrase  is  used  in  a  derogatory  sense.  Thus,  Edward  Everett 
applies  it  "  not  only  to  the  man  of  one  book,  but  also  to  the  man  of  one  idea, 
in  whom  the  sense  of  proportion  is  lacking,  and  who  sees  only  that  for  which 
he  looks." 

Book-plate.  A  label  bearing  a  name,  crest,  monogram,  or  inscription 
pasted  in  a  book  to  indicate  its  ownership,  as  well  as  its  position  in  a  library, 
etc.  Mr.  Leicester  Warren,  in  his  treatise  on  "  Book-Plates,"  complains  that 
the  word  is  clumsy  and  ambiguous,  inasmuch  as  it  might  readily  be  inter- 
preted plates  to  illustrate  books.  Abroad  the  term  used  is  ex-libris,  and  he 
regrets  that  it  cannot  be  domesticated. 

Book-plates  are  at  least  as  old  as  Albert  Diirer,  who  engraved  several,  the 
best-known  being  a  wood-cut  designed  for  his  friend  Wilibald  Pirckheimer,  the 
Nuremberg  jurist.  Other  contemporary  engravers  executed  them.  Beham 
made  one  for  the  Archbishop  Albert  of  Mentz,  his  patron,  about  1534.  An  im- 
pression, believed  to  be  unique,  is  in  the  Print-Room  at  the  French  Biblio- 
theque  Nationale.  In  England  the  custom  of  using  book-plates  was  of  much 
later  date,  the  oldest  yet  identified  bearing  the  date  1668  and  the  name  of 
Francis  Hill.  The  6S  is  filled  in  with  a  pen.  The  whole  number  of  book- 
plates in  the  seventeenth  century  is  very  small,  amounting  only  to  those  of 
thirteen  persons,  some  of  whom,  however,  had  two.  As  to  the  name  "  book- 
plate," that  seems  to  be  of  still  later  date,  and  cannot  be  traced  back  farther 
than  the  year  1791,  when  it  is  used  of  some  of  Hogarth's  early  engravings 
by  his  biographer,  Ireland  ;  though,  twenty  years  earlier,  Horace  Walpole 
almost  used  it,— for  he  speaks  of  a  "plate  to  put  in  Lady  Orford's  books" 
being  engraved  by  George  Virtue.  Book-plates  of  an  artistic  or  non-heraldic 
character  are  comparatively  modern,  not  to  be  found,  perhaps,  before  the 
French  Revolution.  Men  fond  of  books  were  contented  then  with  the 
plain  name,  if  they  had  no  crest  or  did  not  care  to  incur  the  tax  for  show- 
ing it. 

It  is  evident  that  the  bibliographical  and  historical  value  of  a  book  might 
be  greatly  enhanced  by  the  book-jjlate  so  long  as  it  remains  pasted  therein. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


13 


The  interest  of  the  plate  is  communicated  to  the  book,  and  that  of  the  book 
to  the  plate.  But  latterly  an  unfortunate  fad  has  sprung  up  for  bcvjUplates 
alone,  book-plates  dismembered  from  the  books  which  give  them  an  intelli- 
gible value,  and  only  leaving  in  the  holder's  hand  a  beggarly  engraving  of  a 
coat  of  arms,  such  as  he  might  have  obtained  out  of'an  ordinary  pe'erage. 
True,  not  all  plates  are  armorial.  Some  bear  only  a  name  and  an  inscription. 
The  earliest  of  these  latter  is  probably  Pirckheimer's  "  Inicium  Sapienci^ 
Timor  Domini."  It  is  astonishing  how  many  book-mottoes  are  directed 
against  the  cultivated  seekers  of  wisdom  from  books  not  their  own.  Says  a 
Saturday  Reviewer,  "  We  have  in  our  possession  a  copy  of  Paley's  '  Gothic 
Architecture,'  on  which  the  name  and  the  address  of  the  pious  Mary  Anne 
Schimmelpenninck  having  been  given,  we  find  a  verse  from  Psalm  xxxvii.  : 
'The  wicked  borroweth  and  payeth  not  again,' — a  sentence  which  makes  us 
hasten  to  affirm  that  we  bought  and  did  not  borrow  the  book."  The  same 
text  reappears  in  the  books  of  other  collectors.  Another  text  frequently 
selected  as  a  motto  is  from  the  Parable  of  the  Ten  Virgins:  "Go  ye  rather 
to  them  that  sell,  and  buy  for  yourselves."  The  following  lines,  of  uncertain 
parentage,  are  also  great  favorites  : 

Si  quis  hunc  librum  rapiat  scelestus 
Atque  furtivis  manibus  prehendat, 
Pergat  at  tetras  Acherontis  undas 
Non  rediturus. 

These  verses  remind  one  of  the  English  distich  which  school-boys  are  in 
the  habit  of  scrawling  in  their  text-books,  not  infrequently  illuminated  with 
a  picture  of  a  man  swinging  from  what  appears  like  a  rudimentary  conception 
of  a  gallows  : 

Steal  not  this  book,  my  honest  friend. 

For  fear  the  gallows  will  be  your  end. 

And  what  modern   Diogenes  was  it  who  used  to  put  in  all   his  books, 

"Stolen  from  the  library  of "  .>     In  suave  and  gentlemanly  contrast  to 

these  truculent  mottoes  is  the  inscription  which  one  of  the  famous  Groliers 
is  said  to  have  inserted  on  the  fly-leaf  of  his  books  :  "Jo.  Grolierii  et  Ami- 
corum," — Joseph  Grolier  and  his  Friends.  Exactly  the  same  story  is  told  of 
Michel  Begon,  and  it  is  further  related  that  when  that  gentleman  was  cau- 
tioned by  his  librarian  against  lending  his  books,  for  fear  of  losing  them,  he 
replied,  "I  would  rather  lose  them  than  seem  to  distrust  any  honest  man." 
A  mild  and  palatable  caution  was  this  one  used  by  Theodore  Christopher 
Lilienthal  {circa  1750),  who  placed  it  under  a  picture  of  lilies  surrounded  by 
bees, — probably  an  allusion  to  his  own  name  : 

Utere  concesso,  sed  nuUus  abutere  libro, 

Lilia  non  maculat  sed  modo  tangit  apis. 

And  this  was  long  before  Darwin  had  promulgated  his  vie'ws  as  to  the 
fertilization  of  flowers  by  insects  ! 

The  following  macaronic  bit  of  geniality  is  from  the  fly-leaf  of  a  copy  of 
Virgil,  1582: 

Iste  liber  pertinet,  beare  it  well  in  mind. 

Ad  me  Jacobum  Weaver,  so  courteous  and  so  kind, 

A  pena  sempitema,  Jesus  Christ  me  bringe 

Ad  vitam  eternam,  to  life  (ever)  lastinge. 

Per  me  Jacobum  Weaver. 

Book'worin,  originally  the  general  name  given  to  the  larvae  of  certain 
insects  which  feed  upon  the  leaves  of  books  :  hence  a  term  for  a  great  reader, 
one  who,  in  metaphorical  language,  "  devours  books."  Probably  this  use  of  the 
word  has  been  influenced  by  the  directions  which  the  angel  gave  to  St.  John 
in  handing  him  the  book  with  the  seven  seals:  "Take  it,  and  eat  it  up;  and 
h  10* 


114  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

it  shall  make  thy  belly  bitter,  but  it  shall  be  in  thy  mouth  sweet  as  honey" 
(Rev.  X.  9).  The  Latin  form,  "  Accipe  librum  et  devora  ilium,"  was  frequently 
used  as  an  inscription  on  mediaeval  book-plates. 

Bookworms  are  now  almost  exclusively  known  in  the  secondary  and  derivative  meaning  of 
the  word  as  porers  over  dry  books  ;  but  there  was  a  time  when  the  real  worms  were  as  ubiqui- 
tous as  our  cockroaches.  They  would  start  at  the  first  or  last  page  and  tunnel  circular  holes 
through  the  volume,  and  were  cursed  by  Xihr^naxis  ?i%  bestia  audax  -icaA  peses  chartarzim. 
There  were  several  kinds  of  these  little  plagues.  One  was  a  sort  of  death-watch,  with  dark- 
brown  hard  skin  ;  another  had  a  white  body  with  little  brown  spots  on  its  head.  Those  that 
had  legs  were  the  larvae  of  moths,  and  those  without  legs  were  grubs  that  turned  to  beetles. 
They  were  dignified,  like  other  disagreeable  things,  with  fine  Latin  names,  which  we  spare 
our  readers.  All  of  them  had  strong  jaws  and  very  healthy  appetites ;  but  we  are  happy  to 
find  that  their  digestive  powers,  vigorous  as  they  were,  quail  before  the  materials  of  our 
modem  books.  China  clay,  plaster  of  Paris,  and  other  unwholesome  aliments  have  conquered 
\ki^  festes  ckartarum.  They  sigh  and  shrivel  up.  Peace  to  the  memory,  for  it  is  now  hardly 
more  than  a  memory,  of  the  bestia  audax. — Bookworm,  vol.  iv. 

Boom,  in  American  slang,  the  effective  launching  of  anything  with  eclat 
on  the  market  or  on  public  attention.  The  "  New  English  Dictionary"  traces 
this  use  of  the  word  primarily  to  a  particular  application  of  its  meaning  of  "a 
loud,  deep  sound  with  resonance,"  with  reference  not  so  much  to  the  sound 
as  to  "  the  suddenness  and  rush  with  which  it  is  accompanied."  But  there  is 
noted  as  possibly  modifying  the  meaning  "association  original  or  subsequent 
with  other  senses  of  the  word."  The  St.  Louis  Globe  Democ7-at  claims  to  have 
originated  the  expression  in  1879,  when  the  Grant  third-term  movement  was 
started. 

The  power  of  the  press  has  never  been  more  beautifully  illustrated  than  in  the  recent  history 
of  the  word  "'  boom."  It  was  always  a  good,  sonorous  word,  but  its  latent  possibilities  have 
only  recently  been  discovered.  As  applied  to  the  booming  of  a  cannon  or  of  rushing  waters, 
it  is  euphonious  and  expressive,  but  it  was  left  for  the  press  to  develop  its  general  adaptation 
to  human  affairs,  and  its  especial  significance  in  a  political  sense.  The  word  was  first  applied 
to  the  Grant  movement,  which,  on  account  of  its  sudden,  rushing  character,  was  aptly  termed 
a  boom.  The  papers  took  it  up  somewhat  cautiously  at  first  on  account  of  its  slangy  aspect, 
but  gradually  the  word  was  taken  into  favor  until  all  the  papers  were  talking  about  the  Grant 
boom.  Its  use  by  the  press  made  it  popular,  and  the  people  adopted  it.  Then  there  came  the 
Sherman  boom,  the  Blaine  boom,  the  Tilden  boom,  and  many  others.  Nearly  every  public 
man  had  a  boom,  or  wanted  one.  From  politics  the  word  passed  into  general  use,  and  we  had 
the  business  boom,  the  wheat  boom,  the  iron  boom,  etc.  A  business-man  remarked  yesterday, 
"  Nearly  everj'thing  has  had  a  boom  except  soap,  and  I  am  looking  for  a  soap  boom  every 
day."  A  year  ago  the  word  was  hardly  known,  now  it  is  in  universal  use,  and  one  almost 
wonders  how  we  ever  got  along  without  it.  All  this  has  been  accomplished  by  a  free  and  un- 
trammelled press.  Great  as  the  innate  capabilities  of  the  word  are,  they  might  have  lain  dor- 
mant hundreds  of  years  longer,  as  they  had  already  lain  hundreds  of  years,  if  the  press,  with 
its  mighty  power  of  dissemination,  had  not  taken  it  up  and  sent  it  booming  through  the  land. 
Since  the  Ohio  election  one  or  two  Democratic  papers  have  suggested  that  the  word  has  an 
unpleasant  sound,  and  ought  to  be  done  away  with,  but  it  is  evident  this  suggestion  springs 
from  base  partisan  motives.  It  is  a  good  word,  and  answers  a  great  many  purposes.  Let  it 
boom. — Indianapolis  Journal ,  October,  1879. 

Borrowed  Days.  The  last  three  days  of  March  are  known  as  "  the  bor- 
rowed days."  At  the  firesides  of  the  Scottish  peasantry  the  origin  of  these 
days  is  given  in  this  quaint  rhyme  : 

March  said  to  Aperill, 

I  see  three  hoggs  upon  a  hill, 

And  if  you'll  lend  me  dayes  three, 

I'll  find  a  way  to  make  them  dee ; 

The  first  o'  them  was  wind  and  wet. 

The  second  o'  them  was  snaw  and  sleet. 

The  third  o'  them  was  sic  a  freeze 

It  froze  the  birds'  nests  to  the  trees  ; 

When  the  three  days  were  past  and  gane. 

The  three  silly  hoggs  came  hirplin'  hame. 

Borrowing.  Shakespeare  has  summed  up  an  immense  amount  of  worldly 
wisdom  in  Polonius's  advice  to  Laertes  : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  I15 

Neither  a  borrower  nor  a  lender  be  ; 
For  loan  oft  loses  both  itself  and  friend ; 
And  borrowing  dulls  the  edge  of  husbandry. 

Hamh't,  Act  i.,  Sc.  iii. 
The  Old  Testament  recognizes  that  the  position  of  a  borrower  is  humiliat- 
ing :  "  The  borrower  is  servant  to  the  lender"  {Frov.  xxii.  7).     "  He  that  goes 
a-borrowing  goes  a-sorrowing,"  says  Franklin,  in  "  Poor  Richard's  Almanac" 
for  1757, — a  phrase  that  he  cribbed  from  Thomas  Tusser : 

Who  goeth  a-borrowing 
Goeth  a-sorrowing. 

Five  Hundred  Points  :  June. 
But  Tusser  himself  was  only  remoulding  a  proverb  familiar  long  before 
his  day. 

Bosh,  slang  for  nonsense,  fudge  ;  originally  a  Turkish  word  meaning  empty 
or  useless,  it  first  appeared  in  England  in  1834,  when  it  was  popularized  by 
Morier's  Oriental  novel  "  Ayesha."  It  is  probably  derived  from  the  Arabic 
tnd-fisk,  "there  is  no  such  thing,"  an  expression  much  used  in  Yemen  and 
Egypt  for  the  single  negative  not,  and  in  the  Maghribi  or  Egyptian  dialect 
corrupted  to  miish,  which  by  the  simple  interchange  of  tn  and  b  becomes  bSsh, 
the  Turkish  word. 

Bottle-holder,  the  second  in  a  prize-fight,  one  of  whose  duties  is  to  hold 
the  water-bottle,  while  another  assistant  sponges  the  principal  between  the 
rounds  :  hence  the  term  is  sometimes  extended  to  one  who  seconds  or  advises, 
or  backs  a  person  or  a  cause.  In  185 1,  Lord  Palmerston  told  a  deputation 
who  waited  upon  him  to  congratulate  him  on  the  success  of  his  effort  to  liber- 
ate Kossuth,  that  the  past  crisis  was  one  which  had  required  much  generalsiiip 
and  judgment,  and  that  a  good  deal  of  judicious  bottle-holding  was  obliged  to 
be  brought  into  play.  The  London  Times  made  a  furious  onslaught  on  Pal- 
merston for  thus  using  the  phraseology  of  the  pugilistic  ring,  and  shortly  after- 
wards Punch  appeared  with  a  cartoon  representing  the  noble  lord  as  the 
"Judicious  Bottle-Holder," — a  nickname  that  clung  to  him. 

Bouts-rimes  (Fr.,  literally,  "rhymed  ends"),  a  form  of  literary  amusement 
in  which  rhymes  being  given  the  participants,  they  fill  up  the  verses.  Accord- 
ing to  Menage,  the  notion  of  this  frivolity  was  derived  from  a  saying  of  the 
French  poet  Dulot,  whereby  he  accidentally  let  the  cat  out  of  the  bag,  or,  to 
change  the  metaphor,  let  the  public  in  behind  the  scenes.  Complaining  one 
day  of  the  loss  of  three  hundred  sonnets,  his  hearers  marvelled  at  his  having 
about  him  so  large  a  collection  of  literary  wares,  whereupon  he  explained  that 
they  were  not  completed  sonnets,  but  the  unarticulated  skeletons, — in  other 
words,  their  prearranged  rhyming  ends,  drawn  out  in  groups  of  fourteen.  All 
Paris  was  in  a  roar  next  day  over  Dulot's  lost  sonnets.  Bouts-rimes  became 
the  fashion  in  all  the  salons.  Ladies  imposed  the  task  of  making  them  upon 
their  lovers  ;  the  beaux-esp}-its  amused  their  leisure  in  the  same  way.  Menage 
himself  confesses  that  he  had  tried  and  failed.  In  vain  Sarasin  attempted  to 
ridicule  the  fad  in  his  "  La  Defaite  des  Bouts-Rimes."  It  flourished  apace  in 
France;  it  crossed  the  Channel  indue  course,  and  established  itself  in  high 
favor  with  the  more  ponderous  wits  of  Albion. 

There  were  public  competitions  of  bouts-rimes  at  Bath,  under  the  patronage 
of  the  blue-stocking  Lady  Millar,  and  all  the  rank,  beauty,  and  fashion  of  the 
place — the  beaux  and  belies,  old  dandies  and  reigning  toasts — entered  into  the 
contest,  and  the  successful  competitor  was  crowned  with  myrtle.  Mrs.  Dc- 
lany,  too,  was  addicted  to  bouts-rimes,  and  very  different  people — Dr.  Priest- 
ley and  Mrs.  Barbauld  (then  Miss  Aikin) — worked  at  them  in  the  spare 
evenings  of  their  Warrington  Academy  life. 


Il6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Macaulay,  alluding  with  fine  scorn  to  some  of  Fanny  Burney's  friends  at  the 
time  of  her  first  brilliant  delnit  into  literature,  numbeis  among  them  "Lady 
Millar,  who  kept  a  vase  wherein  fools  were  wont  to  put  bad  verses,  and  Jer- 
ningham,  who  wrote  verses  fit  to  be  put  into  the  vase  of  Lady  Millar."  Let 
us  treat  more  kindly  these  kindly  affectations  of  the  past.  Lady  Millar's  vase 
has  a  history  that  is  not  unentertaining.  When  on  a  tour  in  Italy  with  her 
husband,  Sir  John  Millar,  the  excellent,  though  addle-pated,  lady  had  procured 
the  vase  at  Frascati.  It  was  an  admirable  bit  of  antique  ware.  Lady  Millar 
brought  it  home  with  her  and  placed  it  in  her  villa.  Every  Thursday  she 
invited  her  friends  to  that  temple  of  the  Muses,  where  she  officiated  as  high- 
priestess,  and  every  one  was  expected  to  drop  in  the  vase  his  or  her  version 
of  the  rhymes  given  out  the  preceding  Thursday.  Only  one  specimen  of  these 
effusions  has  survived,  the  composition  of  the  then  Duchess  of  Northumber- 
land. The  rhymes  given  were  brandish,  standish,  pattin,  satin,  olio,  folio, 
puffing,  muffin,  feast  on,  Batheaston.  It  will  be  seen  that  they  were  not  very 
easy  to  fill  in,  also  that  the  rhymes  are  a  little  shaky.  After  all,  making  due 
allowances,  the  result  was  not  so  bad : 

The  pen  which  I  now  take  and  brandish 
Has  long  lain  useless  in  my  standish. 
Know  every  maid,  from  her  in  patten 
To  her  who  shines  in  glossy  satin. 
That  could  they  now  prepare  an  olio. 
From  best  receipt  of  book  in  folio, 
Ever  so  fine,  for  all  their  puffing, 
I  should  prefer  a  buttered  muffin, — 
A  muffin  Jove  himself  might  feast  on. 
If  eat  with  Millar  at  Batheaston. 

In  the  "  Correspondence  of  Mrs.  Delany,"  the  editor,  Lady  Llanover,  refers 
to  this  amusement,  and  gives  a  specimen  written  by  Mrs.  Delany  in  reply  to 
words  which  had  been  sent  her  : 

When  friendship  such  as  yours  our  hours  bless, 
It  soothes  our  cares,  and  makes  affliction  less ; 
Oppressed  by  woes,  from  you  I'm  sure  to  find 
A  sovereign  cure  for  my  distempered  mind ; 
At  court  or  play,  in  field  or  shady  grove, 
No  place  can  yield  delight  without  your  love. 
Not  content  with  this,  however,  Mrs.  Delany  gave  a  second  verse  on  the 
same  words : 

When  me  with  your  commands  you  bless, 
My  time  is  yours,  nor  can  I  offer  less ; 
There  so  much  truth  and  love  I  find. 
That  with  content  it  fills  my  mind, 
Happy  to  live  in  unfrequented  grove, 
Assured  of  faithful  Nanny's  love. 

On  another  occasion  a  noted  instance  was  afforded  by  Horace  Walpole  on 
the  words  brook,  why,  crook,  I: 

I  sit  with  my  toes  in  a  brook ; 

If  any  one  asks  me  for  why, 
I  hits  them  a  rap  with  my  crook ; 

"  'Tis  sentiment  kills  me,"  says  I. 


So  prevalent  had  the  amusement  become  that,  in  1814,  the  "Musomanik 
Society"  was  established  at  Anstruther,  in  Fifeshire,  Scotland, — the  parent  of 
numerous  similar  societies  which  cultivated  this  form  of  literature  on  a  little 
oatmeal.  These  worthy  gentlemen  actually  went  so  far  as  to  publish  a  vol- 
ume made  up  of  their  improvised  stanzas.  Here  are  three  efforts  based  on 
the  words /^«,  scuffie,  men,  ruffle.  They  are  neither  better  nor  worse  than  the 
average : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  117 

One  would  suppose  a  silly  pen 

A  shabby  weapon  in  a  scuffle ; 
But  yet  the  pen  of  critic  men 

A  very  hero's  soul  would  ruffle. 

I  grant  that  some  by  tongue  or  pen 

Are  daily,  hourly,  in  a  scuffle  ; 
But  then  we  philosophic  men 

Have  placid  tempers  naught  can  ruffle. 

Last  night  I  left  my  desk  and  pen, 

For  in  the  street  I  heard  a  scuffle. 
And  there,  torn  off  by  drunken  men, 

I  left  my  coat-tails  and  shirt-ruffle. 

But  the  king  of  all  Bouts-Rimeurs  was  a  certain  young  American,  a  na- 
tive of  Albany,  of  the  name  of  Bogart.  His  talent  for  improvisation  seems 
to  have  been  very  remarkable.  On  one  occasion  certain  of  his  friends,  in- 
cluding Colonel  J.  B.  Van  Schaick  and  Charles  Fenno  Hoffman,  determined  to 
put  it  to  a  crucial  test.  Van  Schaick  took  up  a  copy  of  "Childe  Harold." 
"  Now,"  he  said,  "  the  name  of  Lydia  Kane"  (a  belle  of  that  period)  "contains 
the  same  number  of  letters  as  a  stanza  of  '  Childe  Harold'  has  lines.  Suppose 
you  write  them  down  in  a  column." 

Bogart  did  as  he  was  told. 

"  Now,"  continued  the  colonel,  "  I  will  open  the  poem  at  random,  and  will 
dictate  to  you  the  rhymes  of  any  stanza  on  which  my  finger  happens  to  rest. 
See  if  you  can,  within  ten  minutes,  make  an  acrostic  on  Lydia  Kane  whose 
rhymes  willl  be  identical  with  those  of  Byron's  stanza." 

The  stanza  happened  to  be  the  following  : 

And  must  they  fall,  the  young,  the  proud,  the  brave. 
To  swell  one  bloated  chief's  unwholesome  reign? 
No  step  between  submission  and  a  grave? 
The  rise  of  rapine  and  the  fall  of  Spain  ? 
And  doth  the  Power  that  man  adores  ordain 
Their  doom,  nor  heed  the  suppliant's  appeal  ? 
Is  all  that  desperate  valor  acts  in  vain  ? 
And  counsel  sage,  and  patriotic  zeal. 
The  veteran's  skill,  youth's  fire,  and  manhood's'heart  of  steel? 
Bogart  cleverly  performed  his  task  by  producing  the  following  verse  within 
the  stated  time : 

Zovely  and  loved,  o'er  the  unconquered  brave 
four  charms  resistless,  matchless  girl,  shall  reign, 
D&ax  as  the  mother  holds  her  infant's  grave, 
/n  Love's  warm  regions,  warm,  romantic  Spain. 
y4nd  should  your  fate  to  courts  your  steps  ordain, 
A'ings  would  in  vain  to  regal  pomp  appeal, 
.Wnd  lordly  bishops  kneel  to  you  in  vain, 
A'or  Valor's  fire,  Love's  power,  nor  Churchman's  zeal 
£'ndure  'gainst  Love's  [time's  up)  untarnished  steel. 

These  are  a  few  specimens  of  acknowledged  bouts-rimes.  But  suppose  that 
all  poets  were  as  honest  as  Dulot,  as  willing  to  yield  up  the  secret  of  their 
inspiration.  Do  not  the  best  of  them  have  to  seek  for  their  rhymes  f  .\ 
thought,  perchance,  having  arrived  at  or  about  its  sonorous  harbor  from  the 
sea,  cannot  get  in  at  first,  but  has  to  bob  about  outside  till  the  little  pilot-tug 
of  some  rhyme  comes  up  with  the  steam  up  and  the  flag  flying  and  takes  it  in 
tow  to  its  moorings.  Nay,  may  it  not  even  occur,  after  one  or  two  pilot-tugs  have 
come  up,  a  bargain  cannot  be  made,  or  the  bar  is  dangerous  for  the  tonnage, 
and  the  vessel  makes  for  another  port  1  Are  there  not  such  things  as  rhyming 
dictionaries  (the  ingenious  reader  will  perceive  that  we  have  dropped  meta- 
phor for  plain  fact),  and  have  we  not  the  confessions  of  good  poets — Byron, 
for  example — that  they  have  used  these  helps,  or  that,  in  their  absence,  they 


Il8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

have  been  glad  to  revert  to  a  kind  of  mental  substitute,  chasing  out  a  suitable 
rhyme  to  the  word  same,  for  example,  by  running  through  the  entire  al|jhabet, 
aim,  blame,  came,  dame,  fame,  etc.  ?  Have  they  not  even  gone  furtiier  and 
allowed  the  rhymes  to  bring  the  tliought  into  motion  fron.i  the  first?  In  her 
"  Recollections  of  Literary  Characters"  (1854)  Mrs.  Thomson  tells  us  ex- 
pressly that  this  was  Campbell's  practice,  and  that  he  openly  avowed  he  had 
written  "  Lochiel's  Warning"  as  a  sort  of  exercise  in  bouts-rimes:  "The 
rhymes  were  written  first,  and  tlie  lines  filled  in  afterwards,  the  poet  singing 
them  to  a  sort  of  cadence  as  he  recited  them  to  his  wondering  friend."  One 
can  imagine  the  scene  and  figure  to  one's  self  the  poet  shouting, — 

Lochiel,  Lochiel,  ow-6w-ow-a  day, 

Wow-6w,  ow-o\v-6w,  ow-6w,  ow  array. 

Leigh  Hunt  once  had  an  article  in  the  Liberal  wherein  he  proposed  that  all 
poetry  should  be  turned  into  a  sort  of  bouts-rimes.  A  number  of  words,  he 
insists,  are  so  invested  with  connected  clusters  of  associations  that  they  form 
in  themselves  a  sort  of  poetical  short-hand,  and  the  mere  succession  of  them, 
arranged  in  rhyming  pairs,  or  as  the  ends  of  rhyming  stanzas  not  yet  in  ex- 
istence, tells  the  story  almost  as  well  as  if  the  blank  couplets  or  stanzas  were 
filled  up.     Take  these  words  : 

dawn  each  fair  me  ray 

rains  spoke  mine  two  heat 

lawn  beech  hair  free  play 

swains  yoke  divine  woo  sweet 

Repeat  them  slowly,  with  a  pause  after  each,  and  a  longer  pause  after  each 
four.  Can  you  not  conjure  up  before  your  mind  a  pastoral  love-scene  quite 
as  effectively  as  if  you  had  the  five  elegiac  stanzas  which  these  ends  suggest .'' 
Here  is  a  short  poem  which  is  complete  without  any  exercise  of  the  imagi- 
nation. The  rhymes  need  no  precedent  clauses :  they  are  heads  and  tails  at 
once.  In  their  simple  way  they  tell  the  sad  story  of  a  common  domestic 
tragedy : 

Boy,  Gun 

Gun ;  Bust. 

Joy,  Boy 

Fun.  Dust. 

Here  is  a  sonnet  built  up  on  the  same  plan  by  a  modern  French  poet,  M.  J. 
de  Resseguier : 

Fort  Frele  Rose  Bris 

Belle  Sort,  Close;  L'a 

Elle  Quelle  La  Prise. 

Dort.  Mort : 

BoTwery  Boy,  the  typical  New  York  tough  of  a  generation  or  two  ago, 
named  from  the  street  which  he  chiefly  affected,  a  well-known  thoroughfare 
(Dutch  bouwerij,  from  boinven,  to  "  till,"  to  "  cultivate,"  the  street  having  origi- 
nally been  cut  through  Governor  Stuyvesant's  farm).  He  rather  prided  himself 
on  his  uncouthness,  his  ignorance,  and  his  desperado  readiness  to  fight,  but  he 
also  loved  to  have  attention  called  to  his  courage,  his  gallantry  to  women,  his 
patriotic  enthusiasm,  and  his  innate  tenderness  of  heart.  A  fire  and  a  thrill- 
ing melodrama  called  out  all  his  energies  and  emotions. 

When  I  first  knew  it,  both  the  old  Bowerj'  Theatre  and  the  old  Bowery  boy  were  in  their 
glory.  It  was  about  that  time  that  Thackeray,  taking  some  notes  in  Gotham,  had  an  en- 
counter with  the  Bowery  boy  that  seems  to  have  slipped  into  history.  The  caustic  satirist  had 
heard  of  the  Bower>'  boy,  as  the  story  goes,  and  went  to  see  him  on  his  native  heath.  He 
found  him  leaning  on  a  fire-hydrant,  and  accosted  him  with,  "My  friend,  I  want  to  go  to  Broad- 
way." Whereupon  the  Bowery  boy,  drawing  up  his  shoulders  and  taking  another  chew  on  his 
cigar,  "  Well,  why  the don't  you  go,  then  V— Chicago  Tribune. 

Bow-wow  way,  a  colloquial  expression  indicating  a  haughty,  over- 
powering, or  grandiloquent  manner.     It  seems  to  have  originated  with  Lord 


LITERARY  CURlb^^JES.  119 

Pembroke,  who  said  that  Johnson's  sayings  would  not  appear  so  extraor- 
dinary "  were  it  not  for  his  bow-wow  way."  Scott,  in  his  Diary  (1832),  speaking 
of  Miss  Austen,  says,  "That  young  lady  has  a  talent  for  describing  the  in- 
volvements of  feelings  and  characters  of  ordinary  life  which  is  to  niethe  most 
wonderful  I  ever  met  with.  The  big  bow-wow  strain  I  can  do  myself  like  any 
now  going;  but  the  exquisite  touch  which  renders  ordinary  commonplace 
things  and  characters  interesting  from  the  truth  of  the  description  and  the 
sentiment  is  denied  to  me."  The  Bow-wow  theory  is  a  nickname  occasionally 
applied  to  the  theory  that  human  speech  originated  in  the  imitation  of  animal 
sounds. 

Boycott,  a  word  much  used  by  the  Irish  Land-leaguers,  meaning  a  combi- 
nation that  refuses  to  hold  any  relations,  either  public  or  private,  business  or 
social,  with  any  person  or  persons  on  account  of  political  or  other  differences. 
It  arose  in  the  autumn  of  1880.  Captain  Boycott,  of  Lough  Mask,  Conne- 
mara,  was  agent  oi  Lord  Earne,  an  Irish  land-owner.  His  severity  made  him 
unpopular  with  the  tenants,  who  petitioned  for  his  removal.  Lord  Earne 
turned  a  deaf  ear  to  all  complaints.  Then,  in  retaliation,  the  tenants  and 
their  sympathizers  laid  a  taboo  upon  Boycott,  refusing  to  work  for  him  or  to 
allow  any  one  else  to  do  so.  His  servants  and  his  farm-hands  deserted  him, 
and  if  anybody  undertook  to  assist  him  in  any  way,  or  even  deal  with  him,  that 
person  was  included  in  the  taboo,  his  old  friends  cut  him  as  an  acquaintance 
and  shunned  him  as  a  seller  or  a  buyer.  Boycott  saw  temporary  ruin  staring 
him  in  the  face,  when  relief  came  in  the  shape  of  certain  Ulster  men,  pro- 
tected by  armed  troops,  who  husbanded  the  crops.  But  the  system  grew  to 
be  a  recognized  institution  for  harrying  the  enemies  of  the  Land-league,  and 
so  early  as  December,  1880,  the  Daily  Neius  records,  "  Already  the  stoutest- 
hearted  are  yielding  to  the  fear  of  being  Boycotted."  The  word,  usually  spelt 
with  a  small  b,  is  now  applied  to  all  forms  of  intimidation  by  taboo.  The  thing, 
of  course,  is  not  new.  Napoleon  strove  to  institute  a  gigantic  boycott  against 
England  on  the  part  of  continental  Eurojje.  In  a  pamphlet  called  "The 
Example  of  France,"  by  A.  Young  (1793),  loya!  Englishmen  are  advised  to 
combine  in  a  resolution  "  against  dealing  with  any  sort  of  Jacobin  tradesmen." 
More  primitive  instances  will  be  found  in  the  citations  below. 

And  if  it  be  so  that  the  Kynge  do  a  tresspass,  as  sla  a  man  or  swiike  another  notable  thing, 
he  schall  be  deed  therfore.  Bot  he  schall  not  be  slaen  with  mannez  hand,  bot  they  schall  for- 
bede  that  na  man  be  so  hardy  to  malce  him  company,  ne  spekewith  him,  ne  come  to  him,  ne 
giffe  him  mete  ne  drinke ;  and  so  for  euen  pure  need  and  hunger  and  thrist  and  sorow  that  he 
schall  haf  in  his  hert  he  schall  dye. — Maundeville  :    Travels,  ch.  xxvii. 

Man  cannot  be  adequately  defined  as  a  Boycotting  animal.  The  lower  creation  also  practises 
this  art.  The  herd  proverbially  Boycotts  the  stricken  deer;  sheep,  birds,  and  even  fishes,  we 
believe,  have  the  sense  and  spirit  to  shun  the  diseased  or  unlucky  members  of  their  society, 
and  behave,  to  alter  Bill  Sykes's  praise  of  his  dog,"  quite  like  (Irish)  Christians."  In  Europe, 
Boycotting  flourishes  most  in  Irish  and  "  exclusive"  circles  ;  but  it  is  one  of  the  chief  institu- 
tions of  primitive  men,  whose  whole  life  is  spent  in  Boycotting  and  being  Boycotted.  The 
part  which  the  institution  plays  in  the  Mosaic  law  is  well  known,  and  so  stringent  are  the  rules 
of  "  uncleanliness"  that  a  great  part  of  the  community  must  have  daily  found  itself  marching 
to  Coventry.  Among  contemporary  savages  a  violent  and  almost  excessive  dislike  of  the  dul- 
ness  of  family  parties  seems  to  have  been  the  chief  agent,  or  one  of  the  chief  agents,  in  making 
this  exclusiveness  fashionable.  Most  members  of  the  domestic  circle  Boycott  each  other 
habitually  under  the  sanction  of  terribly  severe  penal  laws.  To  speak  to  a  mother-in-law  or  a 
sister  at  any  time,  or  a  father-in-law  or  many  other  relations  at  certain  fixed  times,  is  almost  a 
capital  offence. — Saturday  Revieiu,  March  12,  1881. 

Brazil,  As  hard  as.  This,  the  AthencBiim  tells  us,  is  a  common  saying  over 
a  great  part,  perhaps  the  whole,  of  England,  but  if  you  ask  what  Brazil  is  you 
commonly  receive  no  satisfactory  answer.  A  Shropshire  peasant,  it  seems, 
can  furnish  the  information  needed.  There  it  means  iron  pyrites.  It  is  well 
known  by  barrow-diggers  and  others  interested  in  the  remote  past  that  frag- 


I20  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

ments  of  iron  pyrites  were  formerly  used  for  striking  a  light,  and  therefore 
it  would  naturally  become  a  symbol  of  hardness.  The  meaning  of  the  word 
seems  to  have  been  forgotten,  or  to  have  become  confounded  with  brass,  for  in 
one  of  Norden's  surveys,  made  in  the  reign  of  James  I.,  an  entry  occurs  which 
has  puzzled  more  than  one  accomplished  antiquary.  The  place  spoken  of  lies 
at  a  point  where  the  oolite  formation  "  puts  in"  above  the  lias,  and  the  sur- 
veyor tells  us  that  at  this  place  there  is  "  one  piece  of  waste  lande  there  to 
buylde  a  melting  hows,  for  ther  haih  bene  sometimes  a  brass  mine,  as  it 
seemeth."  Copper  was  commonly  called  brass  in  those  days,  but  it  would  be 
well-nigh  miraculous  if  copper  had  been  found  in  such  a  situation,  though  iron 
is  at  the  present  time  worked  in  the  immediate  neighborhood. 

Bric-d-brac.  The  "  New  English  Dictionary,"  following  Littre,  ascribes  this 
word  to  a  corruption  of  de  b?'ic  et  de  broi,  which  is  analogous  to  the  English 
"by  hook  or  by  crook."  Like  that,  it  probably  owes  its  origin  to  assonance 
alone.  Some  fanciful  etymologists,  however,  claim  that  brie  in  old  French  was 
an  instrument  that  shot  arrows  at  birds,  while  broc  is  from  the  word  brocanter, 
to  exchange  or  sell,  the  root  of  which  is  Saxon  and  enters  into  the  word 
broker.  Originally  laric-a-brac  seems  to  have  meant  second-hand  goods,  but, 
as  these  are  usually  found  in  old  curiosity  shops,  the  word  came  to  mean  odd 
and  curious  articles  prized  by  collectors. 

Brick,  in  colloquial  English,  a  jolly  good  fellow.  This  bit  of  slang  can  be 
traced  to  an  historical  origin.  Plutarch,  in  his  Life  of  Lycurgus,  gives  an 
account  of  the  visit  of  an  ambassador  from  Epirus  to  the  city  of  Sparta,  who 
saw  much  to  admire  and  praise.  But  he  wondered  greatly  that  Sparta  was 
not  a  walled  town,  and  asked  the  explanation  of  its  lack  of  defensive  works. 
No  answer  was  returned  that  day.  Early  the  next  morning,  however, — for  the 
Spartans  rose  at  dawn, — the  Epirote  was  awakened  and  conducted  to  the  field 
of  exercise  outside  the  city,  where  the  army  of  -Sparta  was  drawn  up  in  battle- 
array.  "There,"  said  Lycurgus,  "are  the  walls  of  Sparta,  and  every  man  is 
a  brick." 

To  call  a  man  "a  perfect  brick"  is  to  concede  to  him  a  completeness  and  solidity  of  char- 
acter on  which  those  who  deal  with  him  can  safely  build.  It  is  analogous  with  the  Western 
description  of  a  man  as  a  man  "  who  will  do  to  tie  to,"  which  was  bom  of  the  experience  of 
the  flat-boatmen  on  the  Ohio  and  Mississippi  when  it  was  their  custom  to  tie  their  boats  up 
overnight  to  trees  on  the  bank  which  might  or  might  not  be  rooted  for  resistance  to  the  cur- 
rent. The  idea  of  the  phrase  is  formulated  in  the  "  four-angled  man"  of  the  Greeks,  anci  it 
has  been  developed  into  stately  verse  by  Tennyson  in  his  ode  on  the  Duke  of  Wellington  : 
Oh  !  fallen  at  length  that  tower  of  strength, 
Which  stood  four  square  to  all  the  winds  that  blew. 

AeTV  York  World. 

Bridgevrater  Treatises.  The  name  of  these  famous  works  is  derived 
from  Sir  Francis  Henry  Egerton,  Earl  of  Bridgewater,  who  died  in  February, 
1829,  and  left  a  will  directing  certain  trustees  to  invest  eight  thousand  jjounds 
to  be  placed  at  the  disposal  of  the  President  of  the  Royal  Society,  to  be  paid 
to  the  person  or  persons  nominated  by  him.  The  will  further  directed  that 
when  these  persons  were  so  selected  they  should  be  appointed  to  write 
and  publish  one  thousand  co])ies  of  a  work  "  on  the  Power,  Wisdom,  and 
Goodness  of  God,  as  manifested  in  the  creation,  illustrating  each  work  by  all 
reasonable  arguments,  as,  for  instance,  the  variety  and  formation  of  God's 
creatures  in  the  animal,  vegetable,  and  mineral  kingdoms  ;  the  effects  of  di- 
gestion, and  thereby  of  conversion  ;  the  construction  of  the  hand  of  man,  and 
an  infinite  variety  of  other  arguments  ;  as  also  by  discoveries,  ancient  and 
modern,  in  Arts  and  Sciences  and  the  whole  extent  of  Literature."  David 
Gilbert  was  at  that  time  the  President  of  the  Royal  Society,  and  he,  with  the 
advice  of  the  Archbishop  of  Canterbury  and  the  Bishop  of  llondon,  appointed 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  121 

the  following  eight  persons,  who  accordingly  wrote  the  Bridgewater  Treatises  : 
Dr.  Chahiiers,  John  Kidd,  Rev.  M.  Whewell,  Sir  Charles  Bell,  Peter  Roget, 
Rev.  Dr.  Buckland,  Rev.  Wm.  Kirby,  and  Wm.  Prout. 

Brook  of  millions.  A  serious  obstacle  to  the  development  of  great  in- 
dustries in  Switzerland  is  the  scarcity  of  coal  in  that  country;  but  the  smaller 
industries,  profiting  by  the  streams  and  natural  water-falls  that  abound,  are  the 
most  numerous  and  active  perhaps  in  the  world.  One  little  stream,  the  Aa, — 
a  brook,  indeed,  about  three  yards  wide, — supplies  the  motor  force  for  thirty 
considerable  manufactories  within  a  limit  of  about  four  and  a  half  miles,  its 
entire  length.  It  rises  in  the  Pfaffiger-See,  east  of  Zurich,  and  flows  into  the 
Greiffen-See,  and  the  difference  between  the  level  of  the  two  lakes  is  only 
about  three  hundred  feet.  From  the  amount  of  wealth  it  has  created,  it  is 
called  Lc  Ruisseau  des  Alillions. 

Broth  of  a  boy,  a  phrase  much  affected  by  the  Irish,  yet  not  unknown 
in  England  and  America.  As  broth  is  the  essence  of  beef,  a  broth  of  a  boy 
is  the  essence  of  what  a  boy  should  be,  the  right  sort  of  a  boy  : 

Juan  was  quite  a  broth  of  a  boy. 

Don  Juan,  viii.  24. 

Buckeye  State,  an  American  nickname  for  the  State  of  Ohio,  from  its 
abundant  supply  of  horse-chestnut-trees,  commonly  called  buckeyes. 

Bucktail,  a  political  nickname  originally  given  to  an  order  of  the  Tam- 
many Society,  who  wore  in  their  hats,  upon  certain  occasions,  a  portion  of  the 
tail  of  a  deer.  When  De  Witt  Clinton  was  running  his  eventually  successful 
campaign  for  the  governorship  of  New  York,  the  members  of  Tammany  were 
generally  inimical  to  him..  Hence  "Bucktail"  came  to  be  a  nickname  for  all 
anti-Clintonians. 

Buckvrheat-cakes  are  usually  supposed  to  be  a  New  England  invention, 
and  indeed  within  the  last  quarter  of  a  century  the  American  visitors  to  Paris 
have  made  the  fortune  of  a  specialite  de  hiickwheat-cakes.  But  in  very  fact  the 
cakes  are  of  French  origin,  and  those  who  like  them  may  eat  them  to-day  in 
their  primitive  simplicity  2&  galettes  de  sarrasin  at  almost  any  village  west  of 
the  Seine  in  Normandy. 

Bug-eaters,  a  term  applied  derisively  to  the  inhabitants  of  Nebraska  by 
travellers  on  account  of  the  poverty-stricken  appearance  of  many  parts  of  the 
State.  If  one  living  there  were  to  refuse  to  eat  bugs,  he  would,  like  Polonius, 
soon  be  "  not  where  he  eats,  but  where  he  is  eaten." 

Bugaboo,  Bugbear,  Bogie.  When  the  bigoted  royalist  Maitland  blas- 
phemously asserted  that  God  was  but  a  "  bogie  of  the  nursery,"  he  unwittingly 
showed  great  philological  acumen.  To  the  eye  of  the  etymologist,  the  bogie 
with  which  nurses  are  wont  to  terrify  their  infant  charges  is,  when  divested  of 
its  traditional  meaning,  identical  with  the  Slavonic  Bog  and  the  Baga  of  the 
cuneiform  inscriptions,  both  names  for  the  Supreme  Being,  which,  by  gradual 
alterations  and  corruptions,  have  given  rise  to  an  infinite  number  of  terms 
for  supernatural  (and  usually  unpleasant)  beings.  Thus,  on  the  one  hand,  we 
have  the  Icelandic ///i/,  or  demon,  the  Gothic  puke,  or  spectre,  the  English 
Puck,  etc.,  and,  on  the  other,  the  familiar  bug,  bogie,  bugl^ear,  bugaboo,  etc. 
"  Such,"  says  Prof.  Fiske,  "  is  the  irony  of  fate  towards  a  deposed  deiiy  !" 
From  having  figured  as  the  unclouded  sun  and  the  chief  of  all  the  gods,  the 
supreme  majesty  of  deity  is  in  English  but  the  name  of  an  ugly  ludicrous 
fiend,  a  scarecrow,  or,  at  the  best,  a  harmless  goblin.  The  Deity  has,  in  very 
truth,  become  the  bogie  of  the  nursery. 

F  11 


122  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Very  early  in  the  history  of  the  race  mothers  discovered  the  convenience 
of  frightening  their  offspring  into  good  behavior.  Gibbon  tells  us  that 
"  Narses  was  the  formidable  sound  with  which  the  Syrian  mothers  were 
accustomed  to  terrify  their  infants."  Speaking  of  Richard  Coeur  de  Lion, 
the  same  writer  says,  "The  memory  of  this  lion-hearted  prince,  at  the  dis- 
tance of  sixty  years,  was  celebrated  in  proverbial  sayings  by  the  grandsons  of 
the  Turks  and  Saracens  against  whom  he  had  fought ;  his  tremendous  name 
was  employed  by  the  Syrian  mothers  to  silence  their  infants  ;  and  if  a  horse 
suddenly  started  from  the  way,  his  rider  was  wont  to  exclaim,  '  Dost  thou 
think  King  Richard  is  in  that  bush  ?' " 

Still  another  name  used  for  a  similar  purpose  is  mentioned  by  Gibbon, — 
Huniades,  titular  King  of  Hungary  in  the  middle  of  the  fifteenth  century: 
"  By  the  Turks,  who  employed  his  name  to  frighten  their  perverse  children, 
he  was  corruptly  denominated  'Jancus  Lain,  or  The  Wicked.'"  The  intelli- 
gence, or  want  of  intelligence,  of  English  nurses  has  been  productive  of  in- 
numerable bogies.  To  say  nothing  of  the  ancient  Raw  Head  and  Bloody 
Bones  (which  occurs  in  "  Hudibras"),  we  may  gather  from  the  following  extract 
from  Reginald  Scot's  "  Discoverie  of  Witchcraft"  the  names  of  a  few  of  the 
bogies  used  to  torment  little  children  within  the  Elizabethan  age. 

"In  our  childhood,"  says  Scot,  "our  mothers'  maids  have  so  terrified  us 
with  an  ugly  devil  having  horns  on  his  head,  fire  in  his  mouth,  and  a  tail 
at  his  back,  eyes  like  a  basin,  fangs  like  a  dog.  claws  like  a  bear,  a  skin 
like  a  negro,  and  voice  roaring  like  a  lion,  whereby  we  start  and  are  afraid 
when  we  hear  one  cry.  Boh  !  and  they  have  so  frayed  us  with  bull-beggars, 
spirits,  witches,  urchins,  elves,  hags,  fairies,  satyrs,  pans,  faunes,  sylvans, 
Kitt-with-the-candlestick,  tritons,  centaurs,  dwarfs,  giants,  imps,  calcars,  con- 
jurers, nymphs,  changelings,  incubus,  Robin  Goodfellow,  the  spoorn,  the 
man-in-the-oak,  the  hell-wain,  the  fire-drake,  the  puckle,  Tom  Thumb,  Hob- 
goblin, Tom  Tumbler,  Boneless,  and  such  other  bugbears,  that  we  are  afraid 
of  our  own  shadows." 

Sir  Walter  Scott,  who  quotes  this  passage  in  his  "  Demonology  and 
Witchcraft,"  explains  some  of  these  strange  terms,  but  leaves  it  to  a  "better 
demonologist  than  himself"  to  treat  them  more  fully.  In  "  Hudibras,"  besides 
Raw  Head  and  Bloody  Bones,  another  bogie  is  mentioned  as  being  in  common 
use, — namely,  Lunsford.  This  was  Colonel  Lnnsford,  or  Lunsfort,  the  gov- 
ernor of  the  Tower,  and  a  man  noted  for  his  sobriety,  industry,  and  courage. 
But  Lilburn  and  others  of  the  same  party  gloried  in  maligning  him  in  every 
possible  way.  Among  other  scandalous  charges,  they  led  the  ignorant  popu- 
lace to  believe  that  he  ate  children. 

The  Loyalists  affected  to  laugh  at  this  accusation,  and  in  the  "  Collection  of 
Loyal  Songs"  it  is  alluded  to  thus : 

From  Fielding  and  from  Vavasour, 

Both  ill-affected  men. 
From  Lunsford  eke  deliver  us, 

That  eateth  up  children. 

So  also  Cleveland  : 

The  post  that  came  from  Banbiury 

Riding  in  a  blue  rocket, 
He  swore  he  saw,  when  Lunsford  fell, 

A  child's  arm  in  his  pocket. 

But  Lilburn  was  so  far  successful  in  his  aim  that,  as  has  been  said,  Luns- 
ford's  name  became  odious  and  was  added  to  the  long  list  of  nursery 
bogies. 

According  to  Banks's  "Earl  of  Essex"  (a  play  ridiculed  by  Fielding  in  his 


i 


LITER AR  Y  CURIOSITIES. 


23 


"Tom  Thumb  the  Great"),  that  noble  lord  was  also  used  as  a  bogie  during 

his  own  lifetime  : 

It  was  enough  to  say,  Here's  Essex  come. 
And  nurses  stilled  their  children  with  the  fright. 

Fielding  substituted  the  name  of  Tom  Thumb,  though,  as  we  have  seen, 
Reginald  Scot  especially  mentions  Tom  Thumb  among  the  bogies  of  child- 
hood,— a  fact  which  takes  the  edge  off  the  intended  satire. 

Napoleon — or  Boney,  as  he  was  called  in  the  nursery — has  done  yeoman's 
service  as  a  bogie  in  England.  Boneyparty  is  in  itself  a  name  with  a  good 
palpable  English  meaning  attached  to  it,  which  can  be  understanded  of  the 
people.  It  seems  to  have  a  natural  affinity  to  Raw  Head  and  Bloody  Bones, 
Boneless,  and  such  other  bugbears.  Curiously  enough,  the  Duke  of  Wel- 
lington has  never  performed  a  like  service  in  French  nurseries,  though  he  is 
the  hero  of  certain  English  bogie  rhymes.     For  example  : 

Baby,  baby,  naughty  baby. 

Hush,  you  squalling  thing,  I  say  ; 
Hush  this  moment,  or  it  may  be 

Wellington  will  pass  this  way  ; 
And  he'll  beat  you,  beat  you,  beat  you. 

And  he'll  beat  you  all  to  pap  ; 
And  he'll  eat  you,  eat  you,  eat  you  ! 

Gobble  you,  gobble  you — snap,  snap,  snap  I 

In  another,  the  same  kind-hearted  gentleman  is  represented  as  being  "  tall 
and  straight  as  Rouen  steeple,"  and  dining  and  supping  upon  a  never-failing 
supply  of  "  naughty  people." 

It  is  said  that  Jewish  mothers  sometimes  frighten  their  children  with  the 
name  of  Lilith.  According  to  the  Talmudists,  Lilith  was  the  wife  of  Adam 
before  he  married  Eve.  She  refused  to  obey  her  husband,  and  left  Paradise 
for  the  region  of  air.  The  legend  is  that  her  sceptre  is  still  to  be  seen  at 
night,  and  that  she  is  especially  the  enemy  of  young  children. 

The  "  Encyclopaedia  Metropolitana"  boldly  declares  that  our  word  "  lullaby" 
is  derived  from  "  Lilith  abi  !"  (Lilith,  avaunt  !)  But  the  inexorable  Professor 
Skeat,  who  destroys  all  the  charming  old  unreasonable  and  picturesque  deriva- 
tions, will  have  nothing  to  say  to  this,  and  gives  an  explanation  too  prosaic  to 
be  recorded  here.  Lilith  was  so  bad  that  it  was  not  unfitting  her  name  should 
be  used  to  frighten  little  boys  and  girls.  She  furnishes  one  of  the  few  instances 
of  a  woman  being  utilized  as  a  bogie. 

Bull,  John,  a  humorous  personification  of  the  British  people,  which  origi- 
nated with  Arbuthnot.  He  is  represented  as  a  bluff,  stout,  honest,  red-faced, 
irascible  rustic,  in  leather  breeches  and  top-boots,  carrying  a  stout  oaken 
cudgel  in  his  hand  and  with  a  bull-dog  at  his  heels. 

That  pestilent  personage  John  Bull  has  assumed  so  concrete  a  form  in  our  imaginations, 
with  his  top-boots  and  his  broad  shoulders  and  vast  circumference,  and  the  emblematic  bull- 
dog at  his  heels,  that  for  most  observers  he  completely  hides  the  Englishman  of  real  life.  The 
ideal  John  Bull  has  hidden  us  from  ourselves  as  well  as  from  our  neighbors,  and  the  race 
which  is  distinguished  above  all  others  for  the  magnificent  wealth  of  its  imaginative  literature 
is  daily  told — and,  what  is  more,  tells  itself^that  it  is  a  mere  lump  of  prosaic  flesh  and  blood, 
■with  scarcely  soul  enough  to  keep  it  from  stagnation.  If  we  were  sensible  we  should  bum 
that  ridiculous  caricature  of  ourselves  along  with  Guy  Fawkes  ;  but  meanwhile  we  can  hardly 
complain  if  foreigners  are  deceived  by  our  own  misrepresentations. — Leslie  Stephen. 

Bullet.  Every  bullet  has  its  billet, — i.e.,  its  resting-place  or  destination. 
In  military  parlance  billet  is  an  otificial  order  requiring  the  person  to  whom  it 
is  addressed  to  provide  board  and  lodging  for  the  soldier  bearing  it.  Hence 
the  proverb  means  that  only  those  are  killed  whose  death  Providence  has 
assigned.     Napoleon  was  a  firm  believer  in  the  superstition  epibodied  in  the 


t24  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

saying.  Thus,  he  said  once  to  an  officer,  "  My  friend,  if  that  ball  were  destined 
for  you,  it  would  be  sure  to  find  you,  though  yo-u  were  to  burrow  a  hundred 
feet  under  ground."  And  again  at  Montereau,  in  1814,  he  refused  to  retire 
from  an  exposed  position,  saying,  "Courage,  my  friends  :  the  ball  which  is  to 
kill  me  is  not  yet  cast."  When  Nelson  was  warned  by  a  lady  not  to  expose 
himself  needlessly  in  battle,  he  replied,  "The  bullet  which  hits  me  will  have 
on  it  '  Horatio  Nelson,  his  with  speed.'  " 

Victor  Galbraith 
Falls  to  the  ground,  but  he  is  not  dead  ; 
His  name  was  not  stamped  on  those  balls  of  lead. 

Longfellow. 

Mme.  de  Sevigne  wrote,  "  Who  can  doubt  that  the  cannon-ball  which  could 
distinguish  M.  de  Turenne  among  a  dozen  was  loaded  for  that  purpose  from 
all  eternity  ?" 

Bulls,  Irish  and  not  Irish.  A  bull  is  very  cleverly  defined  by  Sydney 
Smith  as  "an  apparent  congruity  and  real  incongruity  of  ideas  suddenly  dis- 
covered." Clever,  yet  not  quite  so  clever  as  Coleridge  :  "A  bull  consists  in  a 
mental  juxtaposition  of  incongruous  ideas,  with  a  sensation,  but  without  the 
sense,  of  connection."  Sydney  Smith  goes  on  to  point  out  that  a  bull  is  the 
very  reverse  of  wit  ;  "  for  as  wit  discovers  real  relations  that  are  not  apparent, 
bulls  admit  apparent  relations  that  are  not  real."  He  might  have  carried  the 
idea  still  further,  and  shown  that,  while  wit  is  acutely  self-conscious,  the  bull,  on 
the  contrary,  is  born  of  a  native  humor,  a  coloring  and  distorting  medium  ab- 
solutely unconscious  of  itself.  Its  perpetrator  is  fully  possessed  of  his  own 
meaning,  but  is  unconscious  of  the  literal  and  objective  sense  of  his  own 
words.  When  Thomas  Carlyle  said  in  his  "  Oliver  Cromwell"  that  "some 
omissions  will  also  appear  in  this  edition,"  he  knew  what  he  meant,  and  so  do 
we, — the  understanding  on  both  sides  is  identical, — but  the  recognition  of  the 
inadequacy  of  the  words  to  convey  that  meaning  is  with  us  alone. 

So  much  for  definition.  Now,  what  has  etymology  to  say  on  the  subject  ? 
Very  little,  and  that  little  not  much  to  the  purpose.  It  was  once  the  fashion 
to  derive  the  term  from  one  Obadiah  Bull,  an  Irish  lawyer  residing  in  London 
in  the  reign  of  Henry  VII.,  whose  blunders  of  the  sort  were  notorious.  But 
Chaucer  uses  the  word  "bole"  (in  our  modern  sense  of  a  verbal  mistake),  and, 
as  Chaucer  died  half  a  century  before  Henry  VII.  was  born,  ///a^  etymology  must 
go  by  the  board.  And  with  it  also  must  go  the  idea  that  a  bull,  either  in 
etymology  or  in  essence,  has  any  inevitable  connection  with  the  Irish.  Mr. 
Edgeworth  indeed  has  written  an  essay  on  "  Irish  Bulls,"  which  almost  goes 
the  length  of  asserting,  first,  that  bulls  are  not  Irish  ;  second,  that  there  is 
no  such  thing  as  a  bull.  Without  accompanying  him  to  this  extreme,  we 
might  readily  allow  that  other  nations  err  in  the  same  delightful  manner,  and  that 
many  so-called  bulls  are  really  not  bulls  at  all,  because  they  are  conscious  and 
often  successful  efforts  to  snatch  a  grace  beyond  the  reach  of  art.  And  even 
the  bulls  that  refuse  to  be  classified  under  any  more  complimentary  head  fre- 
quently result  not  from  dulness  but  from  extreme  quickness  of  apprehension, 
the  mind  leaping  to  its  conclusion  without  passing  through  the  intermediate 
stages  of  the  process. 

When  Shakespeare  speaks  of  a  custom  "  more  honored  in  the  breach  than 
the  observance,"  or  of  making  "  assurance  doubly  sure,"  when  Johnson  warns 
you  not  to  "sell  for  gold  what  gold  can  never  buy,"  they  utter  what  looks  like 
an  absurdity  to  the  purely  logical  sense,  but  the  higher  faculties  refuse  to 
recognize  the  absurdity,  and  gratefully  occupy  themselves  in  admiration  of 
their  audacious  aptness.  The  same  may  be  said  of  these  other  much  quoted 
lines  and  phrases  : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  12$ 

Adam,  the  goodliest  man  of  men  since  bom 
His  sons,  the  fairest  of  her  daughters  Eve. 

Milton  :  Paradise  Lost. 
The  loveliest  pair 
That  ever  since  in  love's  embraces  met. 

Ibid. 
I  will  still  strive  with  things  impossible  ; 
Yea,  get  the  better  of  them. 

Shakespeare  :  Julius  Ceesar,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  i. 
Caesar  did  never  wrong  save  with  just  cause. 

Ibid. 
None  but  himself  can  be  his  parallel. 

Theobald  :    The  Double  Falsehood. 
Fought  all  his  battles  o'er  again, 
And  thrice  he  routed  all  his  foes,  and  thrice  he  slew  the  slain. 

Dryden  :  Alexander' s  Feast. 
Shakespeare  has  not  only  shown  human  nature  as  it  is,  but  as  it  would  be  found  in  situ- 
ations to  which  it  cannot  be  exposed. — ^Johnson  :  Lives  of  the  Foets. 

Every  monumental  inscription  should  be  in  Latin;  for  that  being  a  dead  language  it  will 
ever  live. — Ibid. 

The  last  example  is  more  properly  a  play  upon  words  than  a  bull  ;  yet  it 
cannot  be  relegated  to  the  degraded  deep  of  punning,  because  there  is  a  play 
on  the  idea  as  well  as.  on  the  words.  It  is  identical  with  Schiller's  "To  be 
immortal  in  art  a  thing  must  first  be  dead  in  life." 

On  the  other  hand,  when  Dryden  made  his  heroine  say, — 
My  wound  is  great  because  it  is  so  small, 
the  phrase  is  not  a  bull,  because  it  is  a  conscious  effort  at  antithetical  effect. 
But  as  it  falls  short  of  its  aim,  as  it  is  a  step  on  the  hither  side  of  the  sublime, 
we  call  it  merely  ridiculous,  and  feel   that  Dryden  was  rightly  rebuked  when 
the  Duke  of  Buckingham  shouted  from  his  box, — 

Then  'twould  be  greater  if 'twere  none  at  all. 

In  his  "Martinus  Scriblerus"  Pope  supplies  an  instance  of  the  "art  of 
sinking,"  which  is  shrewdly  suspected  to  be  taken  from  his  own  juvenile  epic 
of  "  Alcander."     The  poet  is  speaking  of  a  frightened  stag  in  full  chase,  who 

Hears  his  own  feet  and  thinks  they  sound  like  more. 
And  fears  the  hind  feet  will  o'ertake  the  fore. 

But,  again,  one  would  not  call  this  a  bull.  Here,  however,  are  some  unmis- 
takable examples  of  the  true  taurine,  selected  from  various  authors  of  repute  : 

No  one  as  yet  had  exhibited  the  structure  of  the  human  kidneys,  Vesalius  having  only 
e.xamined  them  in  dogs. — Hallam  :  Literature  of  Europe. 

Unseen  powers,  like  the  deities  of  Homer  in  the  war  of  Troy,  were  seen  to  mingle  at  every 
step  with  the  tide  of  sublunary  affairs. — Alison  :  Review  of  Guizot. 

It  is  curious  to  observe  the  various  substitutes  for  paper  before  its  invention. — D'Israeli  : 
Curiosities  of  Literature. 

I  saw  no  com  standing  in  ricks  ;  a  thing  I  never  saw  before,  and  would  not  have  believed 
it  had  I  not  seen  it. — Cobbett  :  Rural  Rides. 

The  astonished  Yahoo,  smoking,  as  well  as  he  could,  a  cigar,  with  which  he  had  filled  all 
his  pockets. — Warren:    Ten  Thousand  a  Year. 

An  unmistakable  bull  (whose  glory,  however,  belongs  to  the  translation  and 
not  to  the  original)  occurs  in  Isaiah  xxxvii.  36  :  "Then  the  angel  of  the  Lord 
went  forth,  and  smote  in  the  camp  of  the  Assyrians  a  hundred  and  fourscore 
and  five  thousand  :  and  when  they  arose  early  in  the  morning,  behold,  they 
were  all  dead  corj^.'^es." 

Johnson  quotes  Goldsmith  as  complaining,  "  Whenever  I  write  anything  the 
public  makes  a  point  to  know  nothing  about  it."  Here  is  a  true  Hibernian 
bull,  which,  after  all,  is  the  most  perfect  of  its  kind.  To  the  right  perpetra- 
tion of  the  bull  there  seems  to  go  a  kind  of  innocent  and  almost  rollicking 
•  II* 


126  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

•wrongheadedness,  wliich  has  no  real  counterpart  outside  the  Irish  race.  The 
Irish  animal  is  lively,  rampant,  exhilarating,  like  the  sprightly  hero  of  a  Spanish 
bull-fight,  while  English  and  otlier  bulls  are  mere  commonplace  calves  blun- 
dering along  to  the  shambles.  When  Sir  Richard  Steele  was  asked  how  it 
happened  that  his  compatriots  made  so  many  bulls,  he  imputed  it  to  the  effect 
of  climate,  and  declared  that  if  an  Englishman  were  born  in  Ireland  he  would 
make  just  as  many.  Undoubtedly  he  was  right,  though,  for  some  unimagina- 
ble reason,  the  answer  has  itself  been  reckoned  among  Hibernicisms.  Swift 
was  a  case  in  point.  Like  Wellington,  he  might  have  answered  that  he  was 
not  a  horse  because  he  was  born  in  a  stable.  Not  a  horse,  undoubtedly,  yet 
the  influence  of  the  stable  made  him  the  father  of  many  excellent  bulls.  In 
his  first  Drapier's  Letter  he  says,  "Therefore  I  do  most  earnestly  exhort 
you,  as  men,  as  Christians,  as  parents,  and  as  lovers  of  your  country,  to  read 
this  paper  with  the  utmost  attention,  or  to  get  it  read  to  you  by  others."  Yet 
the  bull  was  not  new  with  Swift.  It  finds  analogues  both  in  his  native  and  in 
his  adopted  country. 

As  Ferriar  points  out  ("  Illustrations  of  Sterne,"  i.  80),  it  is  the  jest-book 
story  of  the  Templar  over  again,  who  left  a  note  in  the  key-hole  of  his  door 
directing  the  finder,  "  if  unable  to  read,  to  carry  it  to  the  stationer  at  the  gate, 
now  Messrs.  Butterworth's,  to  read  it  for  him."  Grose,  in  his  "Olio,"  relates 
it  for  a  fact  that  in  May,  1784,  a  bill  was  sent  from  Ireland  for  the  royal  assent 
relating  to  franking.  One  clause  enacted  that  any  member  who,  from  illness 
or  any  other  cause,  should  be  unable  to  write,  might  authorize  another  to 
frank  for  him,  provided  that  on  the  back  of  the  letter  so  franked  the  member 
gave  under  his  hand  a  full  certificate  of  his  inability  to  write. 

Let  us  apply  the  historical  method  to  other  great  Hibernian  masterpieces. 

Who  does  not  remember  the  story  of  the  Englishman  who  wrote  in  his 
letter,  "  I  would  say  more,  but  that  there  is  a  d — d  tall  Irishman  looking 
over  my  shoulder  and  reading  every  word  of  this,"  whereupon  the  Hibernian 
exclaimed,  "  You  lie,  you  scoundrel  !"  Does  not  this  story  find  its  corollary 
in  the  anecdote  of  the  German  lady  who,  writing  to  borrow  money  of  her 
sweetheart,  added  the  following  ingenuous  postscript:  "  I  am  so  thoroughly 
ashamed  of  my  request  that  I  sent  after  the  bearer  of  this  note  to  call  him 
back,  but  he  had  got  already  too  far  on  the  way."  And  is  there  not  a  kinship 
between  both  of  these  and  the  tale  of  the  English  lady  who  combated  George 
Selwyn's  assertion  that  no  woman  could  write  a  letter  without  adding  a  post- 
script, and  next  day  sought  to  prove  he  was  wrong  by  writing  a  letter  and 
adding  after  her  signature, — 

P.S. — Who  is  right  now,  you  or  I  ? 

Perhaps  the  Irish  story  gave  Frederick  the  Great  the  hint  for  that  tragic 
postscript  he  once  dictated  to  an  aide-de-camp  whom  he  had  caught  in  his 
tent  writing  a  letter  home  after  the  hour  when  all  lights  had  been  ordered 
out.  "Add  this  postscript,"  said  the  terrible  martinet :  "'To-morrow  morn- 
ing I  shall  be  taken  out  and  shot  for  disobedience  of  orders.'"  The  aide-de- 
camp wrote  it  down,  and  the  king  kept  his  word. 

There  is  a  story  told  of  an  Irish  gentleman  who  wanted  to  learn  of  an  emi- 
nent singing-master.     He  inquired  the  terms. 

"Two  guineas  for  the  first  lesson,"  said  the  maestro  ;  "and  for  as  many  as 
you  jDlease  afterwards  a  guinea  each." 

"  Oh,  bother  the  first  lesson !"  said  the  inquirer  :  "  let  us  begin  with  the 
second." 

Yet  this  may  have  been  wit,— an  excellent  bit  of  fooling,  not  a  bull.  And, 
even  if  a  bull,  it  is  not  a  distinctively  Irish  bull.  An  analogue  may  be  found 
in  the  story  of  the  Englishman  dining  with  Porson  and  others,  who,  wishing 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  127 

to  contribute  his  mite  to  the  conversation,  asked  the  professor,  "  Was  Cap- 
tain Cook  killed  on  his  first  voyage  ?" 

"I  believe  he  was,"  said  Porson  ;  "but  he  did  not  mind  it  much,  but  im- 
mediately entered  on  a  second." 

Mr.  John  Dillon  quite  recently  made  a  famous  bull  in  the  House  of  Com- 
mons, when,  sjjeaking  of  his  friends,  he  said  that  "  they  had  seen  themselves 
filling  paupers'  graves."  This  was  an  avatar  of  the  remark  made  in  the  Irish 
House  almost  a  century  before  by  his  great  predecessor,  Sir  Boyle  Roche  : 
"  Why,  Mr.  Speaker,  honorable  members  never  come  down  to  this  House 
without  expecting  to  find  their  mangled  remains  lying  on  the  table."  It 
finds  a  compatriotic  echo  in  this  familiar  story  :  "  India,  my  boy,"  said  an 
Irish  officer  to  a  friend  on  his  arrival  at  Calcutta,  "is  the  finest  climate 
under  the  sun  ;  but  a  lot  of  young  fellows  come  out  here,  and  they  drink 
and  they  eat,  and  they  drink  and  they  die  :  and  then  they  write  home  to 
their  parents  a  pack  of  lies,  and  say  it's  the  climate  that  has  killed  them." 

Yet  precisely  the  same  confusion  of  terms  exists  in  this  sentence,  quoted 
by  the  Paris  Figaro  (February,  1890)  "from  a  recent  essay  on  French  home- 
life  in  the  last  century  :" 

We  have  spoken  of  that  sanguinary  year,  1793.  In  those  troubled  times  it  was  that 
French  domestics  set  an  example  of  the  greatest  devotion.  There  were  many  even  who, 
rather  than  betray  their  masters,  allowed  themselves  to  be  guillotined  in  their  place,  and 
who,  when  happier  days  returned,  silently  and  respectfully  went  back  to  their  work. 


Not  entirely  dissimilar  was  the  bull  contained  in  this  obituary  notice  in  the 
London  Times: 

On  the  ist  December,  at  3,  Elgin  Crescent,  Kensington  Park,  Col.  William  Bumey,  K.N., 
one  of  the  very  few  survivors  of  the  Peninsula  and  Waterloo,  in  his  88th  year. 

Here  we  have  the  dead  man  represented  as  a  survivor.  He  must  have 
borne  some  kindred  to  Johnson's  hero  : 

Nor  yet  perceived  the  vital  spirit  fled. 

But  still  fought  on,  nor  knew  that  he  was  dead. 

Sir  Boyle  Roche  repeated  his  own  trope  in  a  speech  on  the  dangers  of  a 
French  invasion:  "The  murderous  marshal-law  men  [Marseillais)  would 
break  in,  cut  us  to  mince-meat,  and  throw  our  bleeding  heads  upon  that  table 
to  stare  us  in  the  face."  But,  again,  he  was  equalled,  if  not  surpassed,  by 
the  contemporary  orator  quoted  by  Taine  in  his  "  French  Revolution,"  who 
informed  a  Parisian  mob,  "  I  would  take  my  own  head  by  the  hair,  cut  it 
off",  and,  presenting  it  to  the  despot,  would  say  to  him,  'Tyrant,  behold  the 
act  of  a  free  man.'  "  This  surpasses  the  miracle  of  St.  IDenis,  for,  in  the 
original  and  more  authentic  form,  that  holy  man  merely  thrust  his  head 
under  his  arm  and  walked  a  goodly  distance  with  it.  Careful  hagiologists 
now  reject  the  more  recent  elaborations  that  he  kissed  it  on  the  way,  or 
that  he  picked  it  up  with   his  teeth. 

A  number  of  other  Irish  bulls  hold  a  sort  of  hilarious  wake  over  the 
subject  of  death  :  that  of  a  Hibernian  gentleman  who  told  a  friend  studying  for 
the  priesthood,  "  I  hope  I  may  live  to  hear  you  preach  my  funeral  sermon  ;" 
of  another  who  expressed  the  grateful  sentiment,  "  May  you  live  to  eat  the 
chicken  that  scratches  over  your  grave  ;"  of  a  physician  who  said  oracularly  of 
a  murdered  man,  "This  person  was  so  ill,  that  if  he  had  not  been  murdered 
he  would  have  died  a  half  an  hour  before,"  and  of  a  lady  who,  in  her  will,  or- 
dered that  her  body  should  be  opened  at  her  death,  for  fear  she  should  be 
buried  alive.  A  parallel  to  these  ghastly  jests  may  be  found  in  the  anecdote 
of  James  Smithson,  founder  of  tihe  Smithsonian  Institute.  He  had  five 
doctors,  and  they  had  been  unable  to  discover  his  disease.  Being  told  that 
his  case  was  hopeless,  he  called  them  around  him  and  said,  "  My  friends,  I 


128  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

desire  that  you  will  make  a  post-mortem  examination  of  me,  and  find  out  what 
aiis  me  ;  for  really  I  am  dying  to  know  what  my  disease  is  myself." 

When  Garrick  condoled  with  an  Irish  gentleman  upon  the  recent  death 
of  his  father,  "  It  is  wliat  we  must  all  come  to  if  we  only  live  long  enough," 
said  the  Irishman.  But  the  idea  is  no  more  Irish  than  French,  for  when  a 
Frenchman  had  built  his  chateau  and  completed  the  cha])el  to  it,  he  called 
together  his  children  and  said,  "  I  hope  we  shall  all  be  buried  there,  if  God 
grants  us  life."  And  the  London  Spectator  puts  in  an  English  claim  for  it 
when  it  quotes  from  the  letter  of  an  English  clergyman  soliciting  a  subscrip- 
tion towards  the  purchase  of  a  burial-ground  for  his  parish,  which  had  grown 
to  the  dimensions  of  a  small  town  with  30,000  inhabitants.  "  It  is  deplorable 
to  think,"  said  this  clergyman,  "  of  a  parish  where  there  are  30,000  people 
living  without  Christian  burial." 

It  was  a  Dublin  paper  which  reported  in  1890  that  "  the  health  of  Mr.  Par- 
nell  has  lately  taken  a  very  serious  turn,  and  fears  of  his  recovery  are  enter- 
tained by  his  friends."  But  a  number  of  English  papers  copied  the  statement 
without  suspicion  of  the  bull.  And  it  wa^  a  London  paper  (the  T/w^j-)  which 
thus  concluded  a  eulogium  on  Baron  Dowse:  "A  great  Irishman  has  passed 
away.  God  grant  that  many  as  great,  and  who  shall  as  wisely  love  their 
country,  may  follow  him."  And  it  was  another  London  jjaper  (the  Telegrap/i) 
which  had  this  dubious  sentence  :  "  Earl  Sydney's  illness  became  very  acute 
on  Sunday.  Prayers  were  offered  on  his  behalf  at  the  churches  and  places  of 
worship  at  Sidcup,  Foot's  Cray,  and  Chiselhurst.  Lord  Sydney,  however,  on 
Wednesday,  appeared  much  improved." 

Here  is  a  story  which  has  many  ramifications  until  it  finally  loses  itself  in  a 
Greek  root  :  "  I  was  going,"  said  an  Irishman,  "  over  Westminster  Bridge  the 
other  day,  and  I  met  Pat  Hewins.  '  Hewins,'  says  I,  '  how  are  you  .'"  '  Pretty 
well,' says  he, 'thank  you,  Donnelly.'  'Donnelly!'  says  I:  'that's  not  fiiy 
name.'  '  Faith,  no  more  is  mine  Hewins,' says  he.  So  we  looked  at  each 
other  again,  and  sure  it  turned  out  to  be  nayther  of  us  ;  and  where's  the  bull 
of  that,  now .'" 

A  similar  story  is  told  of  Sheridan  Knowles,  an  Irishman  by  birth,  an  Eng- 
lishman by  adoption. 

The  names  of  Mark  Lemon  and  Leman  Rede  used  to  puzzle  him  severely, 
and,  as  both  were  frequently  before  the  public  as  writers  for  the  stage,  he  could 
never  bring  himself  to  understand  which  of  the  two  was  the  subject  of  con- 
gratulation when  a  dramatic  success  was  achieved  by  either  of  them.  At  length 
he  met  Leman  Rede  and  Mark  Lemon  walking  arm  in  arm.  "Ah,"  said 
Knowles,  the  moment  he  was  close  enough  to  accost  them,  "now  I'm  bothered 
entirely.     Which  of  you  is  the  other  V 

Are  not  the  above  identical  with  the  query  addressed  to  Thomas  Sandby 
by  Caulfield,  a  pure-blooded  Englishman:  "My  dear  Sandby,  I'm  glad  to 
see  vou.  Pray  is  it  you  or  your  brother .-"'  But  the  same  story  had  been  told 
by  Hierocles,  the  Greek  Joe  Miller. 

Nevertheless,  we  cannot  take  back  our  assertion  that  the  finest  breed  of 
bulls  are  those  produced  by  the  Emerald  Isle.  Here  is  a  collection  of  speci- 
mens that  have  excited  the  laughter  of  generations,  and  will  continue  to  make 
chanticleers  of  our  children: 

"  Has  your  sister  got  a  son  or  a  daughter  ?"  asked  an  Irishman  of  a  friend. 
"Upon  my  life,"  was  the  reply,  "I  don't  know  yet  whether  I'm  an  uncle  or 
an  aunt." 

An  equivocal  compliment  was  that  of  the  Irish  youth  who  dropped  on  his 
knees  before  a  new  sweetheart,  and  said,  "  Darlin',  I  love  ye  as  well  as  if  I'd 
known  ye  for  seven  years — and  a  great  deal  betther." 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1 29 

"My  dear,  come  in  and  go  to  bed,"  said  the  wife  of  a  jolly  son  of  Erin  who 
had  just  returned  from  the  fair  in  a  decidedly  how-come-you-so  state;  "yon 
must  be  dreadful  tired,  sure,  with  your  long  walk  of  six  miles."  "  Arrah,  get 
away  with  your  nonsense,"  said  Pat ;  "it  wasn't  the  length  of  the  way  at  all 
that  fatigued  me  :  'twas  the  breadth  of  it." 

A  poor  Irishman  offered  an  old  saucepan  for  sale.  His  children  gathered 
around  him  and  inquired  why  he  parted  with  it.  "Ah,  me  honeys,"  he 
answered,  "  I  would  not  be  afther  parting  with  it  but  for  a  little  money  to  buy 
something  to  put  in  it." 

A  young  Irishman  who  had  married  when  about  nineteen  years  of  age, 
complaining  of  the  difficulties  to  which  his  early  marriage  subjected  him,  said 
he  would  never  marry  so  young  again  if  he  lived  to  be  as  ould  as  Methuselah. 

An  invalid,  after  returning  from  a  southern  trip,  said  to  a  friend,  "Oh, 
shure,  an'  it's  done  me  a  wurruld  o'  good,  goin'  away.  I've  come  back 
another  man  altogether  ;  in  fact,  I'm  quite  meself  agen." 

An  eccentric  lawyer  thus  questioned  a  client :  "  So  your  uncle,  Dennis 
O'Flaherty,  had  no  family.'"'  "None  at  all,  yer  honor,"  responded  the  client. 
The  lawyer  made  a  memorandum  of  the  reply,  and  then  continued  :  "  Very 
good.     And  your  father,  Patrick  O'Flaherty,  did  he  have  chick  or  child.!"' 

In  an  Irish  provincial  paper  is  the  following  notice  :  "  Whereas  Patrick 
O'Connor  lately  left  his  lodgings,  this  is  to  give  notice  that  if  he  does  not 
return  immediately  and  pay  for  the  same,  he  will  be  advertised." 

Two  Irishmen  were  working  in  a  quarry,  when  one  of  them  fell  into  a  deep 
quarry-hole.  The  other,  alarmed,  came  to  the  margin  of  the  hole  and  called 
out,  "Arrah,  Pat,  are  ye  killed  intirely.''  If  ye're  dead,  spake."  Pat  reas- 
sured him  from  the  bottom  by  saying  in  answer,  "No,  Tim,  I'm  not  dead,  but 
I'm  spacheless." 

At  a  crowded  concert  a  young  lady,  standing  at  the  door  of  the  hall,  was 
addressed  by  an  honest  Hibernian  who  was  in  attendance  on  the  occasion. 
"Indade,  miss,"  said  he,  "I  should  be  glad  to  give  you  a  sate,  but  the  empty 
ones  are  all  full." 

"Gentlemen,  is  not  one  man  as  good  as  another?"  "Uv  course  he  is," 
shouted  an  excited  Irish  Chartist,  "and  a  great  deal  betther." 

"  Pat,  do  you  understand  French  ?" 

"Yis,  if  it's  shpoke  in  Irish." 

An  Irish  hostler  was  sent  to  the  stable  to  bring  forth  a  traveller's  horse. 
Not  knowing  which  of  the  two  strange  horses  in  the  stalls  belonged  to  the 
traveller,  and  wishing  to  avoid  the  appearance  of  ignorance  in  his  business,  he 
saddled  both  animals  and  brought  them  to  the  door.  The  traveller  pointed 
out  his  own  horse,  saying,  "That's  my  nag." 

"Certainly,  yer  honor  ;  I  know  that ;  but  I  didn't  know  which  one  of  them 
was  the  other  gentleman's." 

A  domestic,  newly  engaged,  presented  to  his  master,  one  morning,  a  pair  of 
boots,  the  leg  of  one  of  which  was  much  longer  than  the  other. 

"How  comes  it  that  these  boots  are  not  of  the  same  length?" 

"  I  raly  don't  know,  sir  ;  but  what  bothers  me  the  most  is  that  the  pair  down- 
stairs are  in  the  same  fix." 

An  Irishman,  having  feet  of  different  sizes,  ordered  his  boots  to  be  made 
accordingly.  His  directions  were  obeyed,  but  as  he  tried  the  smallest  boot 
on  his  largest  foot,  he  exclaimed,  petulantly,  "  Confound  that  fellow  !  I  ordered 
him  to  make  one  larger  than  the  other ;  and  instead  of  that  he  has  made  one 
smaller  than  the  other." 


13°  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

That  was  a  triumphant  appeal  of  an  Irish  lover  of  antiquity,  who,  in  arguing 
the  superiority  of  the  old  architecture  over  the  new,  said,  "  Where  will  you 
find  any  modern  building  that  has  lasted  so  long  as  the  ancient?" 

An  Irish  magistrate,  censuring  some  boys  for  loitering  in  the  streets,  argued, 
"If  everybody  were  to  stand  in  the  street,  how  could  anybody  get  by?" 

An  Irishman  got  out  of  his  carriage  at  a  railway-station  for  refreshments, 
but  tlie  bell  rang  and  the  train  left  before  he  had  finished  his  repast.  "  Hould 
on  !"  cried  Pat,  as  he  ran  like  a  madman  after  the  car,  "  hould  on,  ye  murther'n 
ould  stame  injin  ;  you've  got  a  passenger  on  board  that's  left  behind." 

"  It  is  very  sickly  here,"  said  one  of  the  sons  of  the  Emerald  Isle  to  another. 

"  Yes,"  replied  his  companion,  "  a  great  many  have  died  this  year  that  never 
died  before." 

An  old  Dublin  woman  went  to  the  chandler's  for  a  farthing  candle,  and, 
being  told  it  was  raised  to  a  halfpenny  on  account  of  the  Russian  war,  "Bad 
luck  to  them  !"  she  exclaimed,  "  and  do  they  fight  by  candle-ligiu .'" 

An  Irish  lover  remarks  that  it  is  a  great  comfort  to  be  alone,  "especially 
when  yer  swateheart  is  wid  ye." 

An  eminent  spirit-merchant  in  Dublin  announced  in  one  of  the  Irish  papers 
that  he  had  still  a  small  quantity  of  the  whiskey  on  sale  which  was  drunk  by 
his  late  Majesty  while  in  Dublin. 

But  the  great  protagonist  of  all  bull-perpetrators  was  Sir  Boyle  Roche,  who 
was  elected  member  for  Tralee  in  the  Irish  Parliament  of  1775.  Here, 
"through  his  pleasant  interference,  the  most  angry  debates  were  frequently 
concluded  with  peals  of  laughter."  He  was  known  upon  one  occasion,  after 
a  withering  exposure  or  patriotic  denunciation  of  government,  to  say,  with 
solemn  gravity,  "  Mr.  Speaker,  it  is  the  duty  of  every  true  lover  of  his  country 
to  give  his  last  guinea  to  save  the  remainder  of  his  fortunes  !"  Or,  if  the 
subject  of  debate  was  some  national  calamity,  he  would  deliver  himself  thus: 
"Sir,  single  misfortunes  never  come  alone,  and  the  greatest  of  all  national 
calamities  is  generally  followed  by  one  much  greater."  When  some  one  com- 
plained that  the  sergeant-at-arms  should  have  stopped  a  man  in  the  rear  of 
the  house  while  the  sergeant  was  really  engaged  in  trying  to  catch  him  in 
front,  Roche  considerately  asked,  "Do  you  think  the  sergeant-at-arms  can  be, 
like  a  bird,  in  two  places  at  once  V  Shocked  at  the  tetnpora  et  mores  of  Young 
Ireland,  he  broke  out,  "The  progress  of  the  times,  Mr.  Speaker,  is  such  that 
little  children  who  can  neither  walk  nor  talk  may  be  seen  running  about  the 
streets  cursing  their  Maker  J"  Arguing,  on  another  occasion,  in  favor  of  sus- 
pending the  Habeas  Corpus  Act  in  Ireland,  "  It  would  be  better,  Mr.  Speaker," 
said  he,  "to  give  up  not  only  a  part,  but,  if  necessary,  even  the  whole  of  our 
Constitution,  to  preserve  the  remainder."  One  of  his  most  famous  mots  was 
the  imperious  demand,  "  Why  should  we  put  ourselves  out  of  the  way  to  do 
anything  for  posterity?  for  what  has  posterity  done  for  us  V  Supposing,  from 
the  roar  of  laughter  which  greeted  this  question,  that  the  House  had  misun- 
derstood him,  he  explained  "that  by  posterity  he  did  not  at  all  mean  our 
ancestors,  but  those  who  were  to  come  immediately  after  them."  Upon  hear- 
ing this  explanation  "it  was  impossible,"  Barrington  assures  us,  "to  do  any 
serious  business  for  half  an  hour."  A  letter  supposed  to  have  been  written 
by  Sir  Boyle  Roche  during  the  Irish  rebellion  of  '98  gives  an  amusing  collec- 
tion of  his  various  blunders.  Perhaps  he  never  put'quite  so  many  on  paper 
at  a  time  ;  but  his  peculiar  turn  for  "  bulls"  is  here  shown  at  one  view.  The 
letter  was  first  printed  in  the  Kerry  Magazine,  now  out  of  print : 

Dear  Sir,— Having  now  a  little  peace  and  quiet.  I  sit  down  to  inform  you  of  the  bustle  and 
confusion  we  are  in  from  the  bloodthirsty  rebels,  many  of  whom  are  now,  thank  God,  killed 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  131 

and  dispersed.  We  are  in  a  pretty  mess  ;  can  get  nothing  to  eat,  and  no  wine  to  drink  except 
whiskey.  When  we  sit  down  to  dinner  we  are  obliged  to  keep  both  hands  armed.  While  I 
write  this  letter  I  have  my  sword  in  one  hand  and  my  pistol  in  the  other.  I  concluded  from 
the  beginning  that  this  would  be  the  end  ;  and  I  am  right,  for  it  is  not  half  over  yet.  At 
present  there  are  such  goings-on  that  everything  is  at  a  stand-still.  I  should  have  answered 
your  letter  a  fortnight  ago,  but  I  only  received  it  this  morning, — indeed,  hardly  a  mail  arrives 
safe  without  being  robbed.  No  longer  ago  than  yesterday  the  mail-coach  from  Dublin  was 
robbed  near  this  town  :  the  bags  had  been  very  judiciously  left  behind,  for  fear  of  accidents, 
and,  by  great  good  luck,  there  was  nobody  in  the  coach  except  two  outside  passengers,  who 
had  nothing  for  the  thieves  to  take.  Last  Thursday,  an  alarm  was  given  that  a  gang  of  rebels 
in  full  retreat  from  Drogheda  were  advancing  under  the  French  standard  ;  but  they  had  no 
colors,  nor  any  drums  except  bagpipes.  Immediately  every  man  in  the  place,  including  women 
and  children,  ran  out  to  meet  them.  We  soon  found  our  force  a  great  deal  too  little,  and  were 
far  too  near  to  think  of  retreating.  Death  was  in  every  face  ;  and  to  it  we  went.  By  the  time 
half  our  party  were  killed  we  began  to  be  all  alive.  Fortunately,  the  rebels  had  no  guns  except 
pistols,  cutlasses,  and  pikes  ;  and  we  had  plenty  of  muskets  and  ammunition.  We  put  them 
all  to  the  sword  ;  not  a  soul  of  them  escaped,  except  some  that  were  drowned  in  an  adjoining 
bog.  In  fact,  in  a  short  time  nothing  was  heard  but  silence.  Their  uniforms  were  all  diflFer- 
ent,— chiefly  green.  After  the  action  was  over  we  went  to  rummage  their  camp.  All  we  found 
was  a  few  pikes  without  heads,  a  parcel  of  empty  bottles  filled  with  water,  and  a  bundle  of 
blank  French  commissions,  filled  up  with  Irish  names.  Troops  are  now  stationed  round, 
which  exactly  squares  with  my  ideas  of  security.  Adieu  ;  I  have  only  time  to  add  that  I  am 
yours  in  haste.     B.  R. 

P.S. — If  you  do  not  receive  this,  of  course  it  must  have  miscarried  ;  therefore  I  beg  you 
write  and  let  me  know. 

And  now  let  us  conclude  with  a  hasty  summary  of  famous  bulls  which  are 
not  Irish. 

It  was  a  German  orator  who,  warming  with  his  subject,  exclaimed,  "  There 
is  no  man  or  child  in  this  vast  assembly  who  has  arrived  at  the  age  of  fifty 
years  that  has  not  felt  the  truth  of  this  mighty  subject  thundering  through 
his  mind  for  centuries."  It  was  a  Spaniard  who  remarked  ingenuously  that  an 
author  should  always  write  his  own  index,  let  who  will  write  the  book.  It  was 
the  Portuguese  mayor  of  Estremadura  who,  in  offering  a  reward  for  the  recovery 
of  the  remains  of  a  drowned  man,  enumerated  among  the  recognizable  marks 
that  the  deceased  had  an  impediment  in  his  speech. 

Edgeworth  relates  the  story  of  an  English  shopkeeper  who  did  pretty  well 
in  the  direction  of  the  bull  proper  when,  to  recommend  the  durability  of  some 
fabric  for  a  lady's  dress,  he  said,  "  Madam,  it  will  wear  forever,  and  make 
you  a  petticoat  afterwards."  This  is  quite  equal  to  the  Irishman's  rope  which 
had  only  one  end,  because  the  other  had  been  cut  away.  Take,  again,  the 
rhyming  distich  by  Caulfield  on  the  Highland  roads  constructed  by  Marshal 
Wade: 

If  you  had  seen  these  roads  before  they  were  made. 

You'd  have  lift  up  your  eyes  and  blessed  Marshal  Wade. — Grose. 

It  was  Serjeant  Arabin,  a  famous  London  justice,  who  once  offered  a  prisoner 
"  a  chance  of  redeeming  a  character  that  he  had  irretrievably  lost,"  and  who 
told  another  culprit,  "It  is  in  my  power  to  transport  you  for  a  period  very 
considerably  beyond  the  tenn  of  your  natural  life,  but  the  court  in  its  mercy 
will  not  go  so  far  as  it  lawfully  might  go."  When  Payne  Knight  committed 
suicide,  the  drug  he  had  recourse  to  was  the  strongest  prussic  acid  :  "  I  under- 
stand," Rogers  notes  in  his  diary,  "he  was  dead  before  it  touched  his  lips." 
The  drug  must  have  realized  Artenuis  Ward's  injunction,  "immediately  if  not 
sooner."  Sir  Boyle  Roche  himself  could  not  have  surpassed  these  parlia- 
mentary utterances  of  certain  English  legislators:  "Mr.  Speaker,  I  boldly 
answer  in  the  affirmative, — No,"  and,  "Mr.  Speaker,  if  I  have  any  prejudice 
against  the  honorable  member,  it  is  in  his  favor." 

A  bull  that  has  won  enviable  notoriety  is  this  American  one,  embodied  in  a 
set  of  resolutions  said  to  have  been  passed  by  the  Board  of  Councilmen  in 
Canton,  Mississippi : 

I.  Resolved,  by  this  Council,  that  we  build  a  new  jail. 


132  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

■2.  Resolved,  that  the  new  jail  be  built  out  of  the  materials  of  the  old  jail. 
3.  Resolved,  that  the  old  jail  be  used  until  the  new  jail  is  finished. 

Admirable  !  The  American  eagle  must  have  given  a  great  cry  of  joy  when 
Ireland  was  thus  excelled  in  its  own  province.  But,  alas  !  wisdom  in  its 
foolish  way  destroys  the  bliss  of  ignorance  by  showing  that  this  was  originally 
an  Irish  "  chestnut."  Grose,  in  his  "  Olio,"  204,  records  that  in  the  ordinance 
for  pulling  down  the  old  Newgate  at  Dublin,  employing  the  old  materials  and 
rebuilding  it  on  the  same  site,  it  was  enacted  that,  to  avoid  useless  expense, 
the  prisoners  should  remain  in  the  old  Newgate  till  the  new  one  was  finished. 
And  this  in  "turn  has  a  remote  affinity  to  the  mistake  of  the  party  of  Irishmen 
under  James  II.,  who,  being  detailed  to  fortify  a  pass  against  the  advance  of 
the  English  troops,  discovered,  when  the  work  was  completed,  that  they  had 
set  up  the  stockades  the  wrong  way  about,  so  as  to  secure  the  pass  against 
themselves.  Ferriar,  who  quotes  this  story  from  Ralph's  "  History  of  England," 
thinks  this  the  most  extraordinary  of  all  blunders.  Nevertheless,  as  a  practi- 
cal bull,  it  is  more  than  rivalled  by  the  action  of  the  rebels  of  1798.  Wishing 
to  testify  their  abhorrence  of  the  Hon.  John  Beresford,  they  diligently  col- 
lected a  vast  number  of  the  notes  issued  by  his  bank,  and,  with  much  shouting 
and  glorification,  burned  them  publicly  in  a  bonfire.  That  evening  the  banker 
was  heard  praying  fervently  in  the  bank  parlor  for  his  enemies,  who  had  done 
for  him  what  his  best  friends  had  never  thought  of  doing. 

And  so  our  last  examples  are  Irish,  after  all. 

Bummer.  This  is  usually  considered  to  be  an  Americanism.  But,  like 
many  other  Americanisms,  it  is  simjily  a  legitimate  descendant  of  an  old 
English  word,  bummaree,  which  may  be  found  in  the  "  English  Market  By- 
Laws"  of  over  two  hundred  years  ago.  In  the  London  Piiblick  hitelligencer 
of  the  year  1660  it  apj^ears  in  several  advertisements.  Bummaree  meant  a 
man  who  retails  fish  by  peddling  outside  of  the  regular  market.  These  per- 
sons were  looked  down  upon  and  regarded  as  cheats  by  the  established 
dealers,  hence  the  name  became  one  of  contempt  for  a  dishonest  person  of 
irregular  habits.  The  word  first  appeared  in  the  United  States  during  the 
'50's  in  California,  and  travelled  eastward  until  during  the  civil  war  it  came 
into  general  use,  meaning  a  camp-follower  or  straggler,  especially  as  con- 
nected with  General  Sherman's  march  from  Atlanta  to  the  sea. 

Bumper.  One  of  the  humors  of  etymology  is  the  derivation  that  makes 
the  bumper  the  grace-cup  in  which  good  Roman  Catholics,  during  the  ascen- 
dency of  their  religion  in  England,  used  to  drink  the  health  of  the  ho7i  pire. 
Unfortunately,  the  pope  was  never  known  as  bon  pere,  but  as  saint  per e, — holy 
father,  rather  than  ^i?^;/ father.  Besides,  drinking  from  the  grace-cup  (a  large 
vessel  which  went  the  rounds  of  the  company  after  every  repast,  the  guests 
drinking  from  it  one  after  another)  implied  nothing  extraordinary,  nor  even 
intimated  that  the  glass  was  unusually  full.  Now,  a  bumper  is  above  every- 
thing else  a  mighty  draught,  brimming  over.  Indeed,  in  the  days  of  our 
grandfathers  a  distinction  was  made  between  a  brimmer  and  a  bumper.  If  a 
small  particle  of  cork,  dropped  into  the  centre  of  a  full  wineglass,  floats  away 
to  the  edge  of  the  glass,  this  is  a  brimmer.  Add  a  few  drops  of  wine,  and 
the  same  bit  of  cork,  if  dropped  in  again,  will  take  up  a  permanent  position 
in  the  exact  centre  of  the  convex  circle,  standing  well  up  above  the  level  of 
the  brim.  This  is  the  true  bumper.  Murray  cautiously  suggests,  "perhaps 
from  Bump,  with  notion  of  a  'bumping,'  i.e.,  large,  'thumping'  glass." 

Bunco-steerer,  in  America,  originally  a  sharper  who  "roped  in"  suckers 
for  a  gambling  game  called  bunco,  but  now  a  generic  name  for  all  forms  of 
confidence-men.     Their  method  of  procedure  is  sufficiently  well  explained  in 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  133 

Besant  and  Rice's  "The  Golden  Butterfly:"  "The  banco  (sic)  steerer  gentle- 
man will  find  you  out  the  morning  after  you  land  in  Chicago  or  St.  Louis.  He 
will  accost  you — very  friendly,  wonderfully  friendly — when  you  come  out  of 
your  hotel  by  your  name,  and  he  will  remind  you,  which  is  most  surprising, 
considering  you  never  set  eyes  on  his  face  before,  how  you  have  dined  to- 
gether in  Cincinnati,  or  it  may  be  Orleans,  or  perhaps  Francisco,  because  he 
finds  out  where  you  came  from  last.  And  he  will  shake  hands  with  you,  and 
he  will  propose  a  drink  ;  and  he  will  pay  for  that  drink,  and  presently  he  will 
take  you  somewhere  else,  among  his  pals,  and  he  will  strip  you  so  clean  that 
there  won't  be  left  the  price  of  a  four-cent  paper  to  throw  around  your  face 
and  hide  your  blushes." 

A  curious  anticipation  of  the  methods  of  the  American  bunco-steerer  may 
be  found  in  Moliere's  "  Monsieur  de  Pourceaugnac."  Sbrigani  and  Eraste  are 
both  in  league  to  "  do"  the  honest  country  gentleman  on  his  arrival  in  Paris. 
Sbrigani  has  already  scraped  an  acquaintance  when  Eraste  arrives  on  the 
scene  : 

Eraste.  Ah !  what  is  this  ?  What  do  I  see  ?  What  a  fortunate  meeting !  Monsieur  de 
Pourceaugnac!  How  delighted  I  am  to  see  you!  How  now!  It  seems  that  you  have  a 
difficulty  in  recognizing  me  ! 

Pour.  Sir,  I  am  your  servant. 

Eras.  Is  it  possible  that  five  or  six  years  have  obliterated  me  from  your  memory,  and  that 
you  do  not  recognize  the  best  friend  of  all  the  Pourceaugnac  family? 

Pour.  Pray,  pardon  me.  {^Aside  to  Sbrigani.^  Upon  my  word,  I  do  not  know  who  he  is. 

Eras.  There  is  not  a  Pourceaugnac  at  Limoges  whom  I  do  not  know,  from  the  greatest  to 
the  least ;  I  visited  only  them  at  the  time  I  was  there,  and  I  had  the  honor  of  seeing  you  nearly 
every  day. 

Pour.  The  honor  was  mine,  sir. 

Eras.  You  don't  recollect  my  face? 

Pour.  Yes,  indeed.   [  To  Sbrigani^  I  can't  place  him. 

Eras.  You  don't  remember  that  I  had  the  pleasure  of  taking  wine  with  you,  I  don't  know 
how  many  times ! 

Pour.  Pray,  excuse  me.   \To  Sbrigani^  I  don't  know  who  this  is. 

Eras.  What's  the  name  of  that  innkeeper  at  Limoges  who  gives  such  good  cheer? 

Pour.   Petit-Jean? 

Eras.  That's  the  man  !  We  generally  went  there  together  to  enjoy  ourselves.  What's 
the  name  of  that  place  at  Limoges  where  people  promenade? 

Pour.  The  cemetery  of  the  Arenas  ? 

Eras.  Precisely.  That's  where  I  passed  such  pleasant  hours  in  enjoying  your  conversa- 
tion.    Don't  you  remember? 

Pour,  Excuse  me.  I  am  beginning  to  remember.  \To  Sbriganii\  May  the  devil  take  me 
if  I  remember ! 

Sbr.  [Asute  to  Pourceaugnac?^  There  are  a  hundred  things  like  that  which  pass  out  of  a 
man's  head. 

Eras.  Tell  me  all  the  news  about  the  family.  How  is,  how  is — there  !  the  one  that's  such 
a  nice  fellow  ? 

Pour.  My  brother  the  consul  ? 

Eras.  Yes. 

Pour.  He  couldn't  be  better. 

Eras.  I  am  delighted  to  hear  it.  And  the  one  who  is  always  so  good-tempered— there 
your — your 

Pour.   My  cousin  the  assessor? 

Eras.  The  very  man. 

Pour.  As  gay  and  sprightly  as  ever. 

Eras.  Upon  my  word  I'm  glad  to  hear  it.     And  your  uncle,  the 

Pour.  I  have  no  uncle. 

Eras.  But  you  had  then  ? 

Pour.  No,  nothing  but  an  aunt. 

Eras.  That's  whom  I  meant, — the  good  lady  your  aunt.     How  is  she? 

Pour.  She  has  been  dead  these  six  months. 

Eras.  Oh,  poor  woman  !     She  was  such  a  good  creature. 

\Pour.  Then  there's  my  nephew  the  canon,  who  nearly  died  of  the  small-pox. 

Eras.  What  a  pity  that  would  have  been  ! 

Pour.  Did  you  know  him  also? 

Eras.  What !  did  I  know  him  ?     A  tall,  finely-made  fellow 

Pour.  Eh  !  not  so  very  tall. 

12 


134  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Eras.  No,  but  well  built. 

Pour.  Eh !  yes. 

Mr  as.  Who  is  your  nephew? 

Pour.  Yes. 

Eras.  Son  of  your  brother  and  sister? 

Pour.  Exactly  so. 

Eras.  Canon  of  the  church  of Now,  what's  the  name  of  that  church? 

Pour.  St.  Stephen. 

Eras.  That's  the  man  !     I  don't  know  any  other. 
Pour,  yj'o  Sbrigani.\   He  mentions  the  whole  family. 
Sbr.  He  knows  you  better  than  you  think. 

And  SO  the  wily  conspirators  have  their  will.  In  England,  too,  some  of  the 
familiar  confidence  tricks  were  practised  by  sharps  long  before  the  present 
era.  Here  is  corroborative  evidence  in  the  "  London  Guide"  of  1816,  which 
speaks  as  if  the  tricks  were  then  well-nigh  obsolete  : 

Money-droppers  are  no  other  than  gamblers  who  contrived  that  method  to  begin  play.  It 
is  an  almost  obsolete  practice,  and  its  twin  cheat,  ring-dropping,  not  less  disused.  "  What  is 
this?"  says  the  dropper.  "  My  wig:gy  !  if  this  is  not  a  leather  purse  with  money  !  Ha  !  ha  ! 
ha !  Let's  have  a  look  at  it."  While  he  unfolds  its  contents  his  companion  comes  up  and 
claims  a  title  to  a  share.  "  Not  you,  indeed  !"  replies  the  finder :  "  this  gentleman  was  next 
to  me,  were  not  you,  sir?"  To  which  the  countryman  assenting,  or,  perhaps,  insisting  upon 
his  priority,  the  finder  declares  himself  no  churl  in  the  business,  offers  to  divide  it  into  three 
parts,  and  points  out  a  public-house  at  which  they  may  share  the  contents  and  drink  over  their 
good  luck,  etc.  The  found  money  is  counterfeit,  or  screens,  or  else  Fleet  notes.  They  drink. 
An  old  friend  comes  in,  whom  the  finder  can  barely  recognize,  but  remembers  him  by  piece« 
meal.  La  bagatelle,  the  draught-board,  or  cards,  exhibit  the  means  of  staking  the  easily- 
acquired  property,  so  lately  found,  but  which  they  cannot  divide  just  now,  for  want  of  change. 
The  countryman  bets,  and  if  he  Icses  is  called  on  to  pay ;  if  he  wins  it  is  added  to  what  is 
coming  to  him  out  of  the  purse.  If,  after  an  experiment  or  two,  they  discover  he  has  little  or 
no  money,  they  run  off  and  leave  him  to  answer  for  the  reckoning. 

Buncombe  or  Bunkum,  an  Americanism  for  windy  and  inflated  talk, 
clap-trap.  The  original  phrase  is  said  to  have  been  "  speaking  for  Buncombe," 
and  its  origin  is  thus  given  :  Felix  Walker,  member  of  Congress  for  Bun- 
combe County,  North  Carolina,  was  once  making  a  long-winded  speech, 
when,  noticing  the  impatience  of  his  listeners,  he  paused  long  enough  to 
inform  them  that  he  was  not  speaking  for  their  benefit,  but  for  Buncombe. 
Though  the  story  has  become  a  classic,  it  seems  pretty  certain  that  bunkum,  in 
the  modern  sense,  was  in  use  almost  a  century  ago  in  New  England,  the  pos- 
sible derivation  being  from  the  Canadian  French  "  II  est  buncum  sa"  ("  II  est 
bon  comme  9a"),  "  It  is  good  as  it  is."  The  phrase  has  crossed  the  Atlantic, 
and  is  as  thoroughly  accepted  in  England  as  in  America. 

Buridan's  Ass,  a  famous  problem  of  the  mediaeval  schoolmen,  named 
after  its  reputed  author.  Dr.  John  Buridan,  rector  of  the  University  of  Paris 
in  1347.  The  story  runs  that  Queen  Joanna  of  France  was  in  the  habit 
of  throwing  her  lovers  into  the  Seine  as  a  precaution  against  their  blabbing; 
but  she  made  an  exception  in  Buridan's  case,  who,  in  gratitude,  invented  the 
problem.  What  it  has  to  do  with  the  matter  has  never  been  explained.  The 
problem  itself  runs  as  follows.  An  ass  is  placed  between  two  equidistant 
bundles  of  hay.  Will  he  feed  of  one  or  the  other,  or,  entranced  by  their 
opposite  attractions,  find  it  impossible  to  choose,  and  so  die  of  starvation  t 
It  will  be  seen  that  the  whole  question  of  free-will  is  involved,  for,  if  the  ass 
eats  at  all,  he  must  make  a  choice  between  alternatives  of  equal  force.  Many 
of  the  schoolmen,  however,  were  for  making  him  die  of  indecision.  Others 
denied  the  possibility  of  the  balance, — which  was  no  answer  at  all.  The  problem 
antedates  I3uridan.     Dante  thus  states  it  in  the  "  Divine  Comedy  :" 

Between  two  viands,  equally  removed 

And  tempting,  a  free  man  would  die  of  hunger 
If  either  he  could  bring  unto  his  teeth. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  135 

So  would  a  lamb  between  the  ravenings 

Of  two  fierce  wolves  stand  fearing  both  alike ; 
And  so  would  stand  a  dog  between  two  does. 

Faradise,  Canto  4,  lines  1-6,  Longfellow's  translation. 
Dante  died  in  1321,  so  he  could  not  have  taken  the  thought  from  Buridan. 
It  is  nearly  as  unlikely  that  a  copy  of  the  "Comniedia"  should  have  reached 
Paris  and  been  read  by  a  scholastic  who  would  have  looked  down  upon  la 
lingtia  voIga?-e  as  a  mere  patois.  Both  were  obviously  indebted  to  some 
common  original. 

Burnt  child  fears  the  fire,  A,  a  proverb  common  to  most  modern  lan- 
guages. 

Not  seldom  will  there  be  an  evident  superiority  of  a  proverb  in  one  language  over  one 
which,  however,  resembles  it  closely  in  another.  Moving  in  the  same  sphere,  it  will  yet  be 
richer,  fuller,  deeper.  Thus,  our  own,  A  burnt  child  fears  the  fire,  is  good ;  but  that  of  many 
tongues,  A  scalded  dog  fears  cold  water,  is  better  still.  Ours  does  but  express  that  those 
who  have  sufTered  once  will  henceforward  be  timid  in  respect  of  that  same  thing  whence 
they  have  suffered,  but  that  other  the  tendency  to  exaggerate  such  fears,  so  that  now  they 
shall  fear  even  where  no  fear  is.  And  the  fact  that  so  it  will  be,  clothes  itself  in  an  almost 
infinite  variety  of  forms.  Thus,  one  Italian  proverb  says,  A  dog  which  has  been  beaten 
with  a  stick  is  afraid  of  its  shadow  ;  and  another,  which  could  only  have  had  its  birth  in 
the  sunny  South,  where  the  glancing  but  harmless  lizard  so  often  darts  across  our  path. 
Whom  a  serpent  has  bitten  a  lizard  alarms.  With  a  little  variation  from  this,  the  Jewish 
rabbis  had  said  long  before.  One  bitten  by  a  serpent  is  afraid  of  a  rope's  end,  even  that 
which  bears  so  remote  a  resemblance  to  a  serpent  as  this  does  shall  now  inspire  him  with 
terror;  and  the  Cingalese,  still  expressing  the  same  thought,  but  with  imagery  borrowed 
from  their  own  tropic  clime.  The  man  who  has  received  a  beating  from  a  firebrand  runs 
away  at  sight  of  a  firefly. — Trench  :    The  Lessons  in  Proverbs. 

But  me  no  buts.  This  phrase  may  be  found  in  Fielding's  "Rape  upon 
Rape,"  Act  ii.,  Sc.  2,  and  in  Aaron  Hill's  "Snake  in  the  Grass,"  Scene  i. 
But  analogous  expressions  are  frequent  among  the  Elizabethan  dramatists. 
Thus,  Shakespeare  says,  "Grace  me  no  grace,  nor  uncle  me  no  uncle"  (Rich- 
ard II.,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  3),  and  "Thank  me  no  thanks,  nor  proud  tne  no  prouds" 
[Romeo  and  Juliet,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  5)  ;  Ben  Jonson,  "O  me  no  O's"  {The  Case  is 
Altered,  Act  v.,  Sc.  l)  ;  Beaumont  and  Fletcher,  "  Pot  me  no  pots"  [The 
Knight  of  the  Bttrnittg  Pestle,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  5),  and  "Vow  me  no  vows"  [Wit 
•without  Money,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  4);  Ford,  "Front  me  no  fronts"  [The  Lady's 
Trial,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  l)  ;  Massinger,  "End  me  no  ends"  [A  N'ew  Way  to  Pay  Old 
Debts,  Act  v.,  Sc.  i),  and  "Virgin  me  no  virgins"  [Ibid.,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  2) ;  and 
Peele,  "  Parish  me  no  parishes"  ( The  Old  Wives'  Tale).  Dryden  uses  a  sim- 
ilar expression  twice  in  "The  Wild  Gallant :"  "  Midas  me  no  Midas"  (Act  ii., 
Sc.  i),  and  "Madam  me  no  madams"  (Act  ii.,  Sc.  2).  Fielding  himself  was 
fond  of  the  locution.  He  has  "  Map  me  no  maps"  in  the  play  already  quoted 
from  (Act  i.,  Sc.  5),  and  "  Petition  me  no  petitions"  in  "Tom  Thumb"  (Act  i., 
Sc.  2).  Scott,  in  "  Ivanhoe"  (chapter  xx.),  has  it  "  Clerk  me  no  clerks  ;"  Bul- 
wer,  in  the  "Last  Days  of  Pompeii"  (Book  iii.,  chap,  vi.),  makes  one  of  his 
characters  cry,  "Fool  me  no  fools;"  and  Tennyson,  in  "Elaine,"  makes 
Launcelot  say, — 

Diamond  me 

No  diamonds  !  for  God's  love,  a  little  air  ! 

Prize  me  no  prizes,  for  my  prize  is  death. 

Buttons,  A  soul  above,  a  humorous  phrase  for  one  who  is  or  fancies  him- 
self superior  to  his  actual  emi:)loyment,  probably  arises  from  an  expression  in 
George  Colman's  "Sylvester  Daggerwood"  (180S)  :  "My  father  was  an  emi- 
nent button-maker,  but  I  had  a  soul  above  buttons.  I  panted  for  a  liberal 
profession." 


136  HANDY-BOOK  OF 


c. 

C,  the  third  letter  and  the  second  consonant  in  the  English  alphabet,  as  in  most 
alphabets  derived  from  the  Phoenician.  But  in  the  Phoenician,  as  in  the  Greek, 
the  value  of  the  character  was  that  of  hard  g, — the  Greek  7.  The  early  Latins 
gave  it  also  the  k  or  Greek  k  sound,  representing  both  sounds  by  the  letter 
C,  and  ignoring  the  K  character.  When  later  they  readopted  the  distinction 
of  sounds,  they  retained  C  as  the  symbol  of  the  hard  sound,  and  added  a  tag 
to  the  same  character  to  represent  the  g  sound.  Thus  the  C,  when  restored 
to  its  original  and  undiluted  sound-sense,  became  our  G.  The  Anglo-Saxon 
softened  the  C  before  e,  i,  and  j  into  the  sound  oi  ch,  the  French  into  that  of  J. 
Hence  words  in  our  language  beginning  with  the  soft  sound  of  c  are  almost 
invariably  of  French,  and  those  beginning  with  ch  of  Sa.\on,  origin.  Excep- 
tions like  cinder  (Saxon  sinder)  result  from  a  corrupted  misspelling. 

Ca  ira,  literally,  "  that  will  go,"  a  French  phrase  nearly  equivalent  to  our 
"it  will  all  come'right  in  the  end."  Franklin  applied  it  with  great  effect  to 
the  cause  of  the  American  Revolution  when  he  was  the  minister  of  the  United 
States  in  Paris,  and  it  subsequendy  acquired  wide  celebrity  as  the  refrain  of  a 
popular  song  during  the  French  Revolution  of  1791  : 

Qa  ira,  9a  ira,  9a  ira, 

Les  aristocrate'  4  la  lanterne. 

It  will  go,  it  will  go,  it  will  go. 

Hang  the  aristocrats  to  the  lamp-post. 
These  words  fell,  as  all  true  patriots  love  to  remember,  from  the  lips  of  Franklin  in  the  try- 
ing times  of  1777.  When  the  news  of  the  disastrous  retreat  through  the  Jerseys  and  the 
miseries  ot  Valley  Forge  reached  France,  many  good  friends  to  America  began  to  think  that 
now  indeed  all  was  lost.  But  the  stout  heart  of  Franklin  never  for  a  moment  flinched.  "  This 
is,  indeed,  bad  news,"  said  he,  •'  but  fd  ira,  en  ira,  it  will  all  come  right  in  the  end."  Old 
diplomatists  and  courtiers,  amazed  at  his  confidence,  passed  about  his  cheering  words.  They 
were  taken  up  by  the  newspapers,  they  were  remembered  by  the  people,  and  in  the  dark  days 
of  the  French  Revolution  were  repea'ted  over  and  over  again  on  every  side  and  made  the 
subject  of  a  stirring  song,  which,  till  the  Marseillaise  hymn  appeared,  had  no  equal  in  France. 
— McMaster  :  History  0/ the  People  of  the  Unitid  states,  vol.  ii. 

Qa  va  sans  dire,  a  familiar  French  locution,  whose  English  equivalent 
might  be  "that  is  a  matter  of  course,"  or  "that  may  be  taken  for  granted." 
But  recently  it  has  become  the  tendency  to  translate  it  literally,  "that  goes 
without  saying,"  and  these  words,  though  originally  uncouth  and  almost 
unmeaning  to  the  unpractised  ear,  are  gradually  acquiring  the  exact  meaning 
of  the  French. 

Cabal,  a  junto,  a  union  of  unscrupulous  self-seekers  to  promote  their  own 
interests  in  church  or  state,  possibly  in  allusion  to  the  esoteric  nature  of  the 
Jewish  Cabbala.  The  name  was  given  as  a  sobriquet  to  the  English  ministry 
after  the  Restoration.  Thus,  December  21,  1667,  Pepys  notes  in  his  Diary, 
"The  Archbishop  of  Canterbury  is  called  no  more  to  the  Cabal,  nor,  by  the 
way.  Sir  W.  Coventry,  which  I  am  sorry  for,  the  Cabal  at  present  being  .  .  . 
.the  King  and  Duke  of  Buckingham,  and  Lord  Keeper,  the  Duke  of  Albe- 
'  marie,  and  Privy  Scale."  Three  years  later,  in  1670,  a  new  ministry  was 
formed,  with  the  following  members  :  Sir  Thomas  Clifford,  Lord  .<4shley,  the 
Duke  of  .Buckingham,  Lord  ..Arlington,  and  the  Duke  of  Zauderdale.  It  will 
be  seen  that  the  italicized  initials  form  the  acrostic  "  Cabal,"  a  curious  coinci- 
dence, which  led  to  the  fallacy  that  the  word  Cabal  grew  out  of  the  acrostic. 
Burnet  was  the  first  writer  guilty  of  this  etymological  blunder,  and  he  has  been 
closely  followed  by  other  historians,  and  by  nearly  all  the  dictionaries  and 
works  of  reference. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


137 


I 


Caesar's  wife  must  be  above  suspicion.  This  phrase,  according  to 
Sueionius  and  Plutarch,  originated  with  Caesar  under  the  following  circum- 
stances. His  wife  Pompeia  had  an  intrigue  with  Publius  Clodius,  a  member 
of  one  of  the  noblest  families  of  Rome  and  a  brilliant  and  handsome  profli- 
gate. As  he  could  not  easily  gain  access  to  her,  he  took  the  ojjportunity, 
while  she  was  celebrating  the  mysteries  of  the  Bona  Dea  ("Good  Goddess,'* 
a  dryad  with  whom  the  god  Faunus  had  an  amour),  to  enter  disguised  in  'a 
woman's  habit.  Now,  these  mysteries  were  celebrated  annually  by  women 
with  the  most  profound  secrecy  at  the  house  of  the  consul  or  praetor.  The 
presence  of  a  man  was  a  hideous  pollution  :  even  the  pictures  of  male  animals 
had  to  be  veiled  in  the  room  where  these  ceremonies  were  performed.  While 
Clodius  was  waiting  in  one  of  the  apartments  for  Pompeia,  he  was  discovered 
by  a  maid-servant  of  Caesar's  mother,  who  gave  the  alarm.  He  was  driven 
out  of  the  assembly  with  indignation.  The  news  spread  a  general  horror 
throughout  the  city.  Pompeia  was  divorced  by  Csesnr.  But  when  Clodius 
came  up  for  trial,  Caesar  declared  that  he  knew  nothing  of  the  affair,  thou<Th 
his  mother  Aurelia  and  his  sister  Julia  gave  the  court  an  exact  account  of 
all  the  circumstances.  Being  asked  why,  then,  he  had  divorced  Pompeia, 
"Because,"  answered  Caesar,  "my  family  should  not  only  be  free  from  guilt, 
but  even  from  the  suspicion  of  it."  (Suetonius.)  Plutarch  gives  it,  "Because' 
I  would  have  the  chastity  of  my  wife  clear  even  from  suspicion."  This  was 
very  well  ;  but  Caesar  had  no  mind  to  exasperate  a  man  like  Clodius,  who 
might  serve  his  ambitious  projects.  The  judges  were  tampered  with.  Clodius 
was  acquitted.  Cicero  was  enraged.  "The  judges,"  said  he,  "would  not 
give  any  credit  to  Clodius,  but  made  him  pay  his  money  beforehand."  This 
expression  made  an  irreparable  breach  between  Clodius'  and  Cicero,  to  their 
mutual  undoing.  Clodius  succeeded  in  having  a  law  passed  for  Cicero's  ban- 
ishment, demolished  his  house,  and  persecuted  his  wife  and  children.  Clodius, 
on  his  part,  was  impeached  by  Milo,  the  friend  of  Cicero.  The  latter  was 
unsuccessful.  But  Milo  and  Clodius  met,  shortly  afterwards,  on  the  Appian 
Way.  The  servants  of  both  engaged  in  a  general  fray,  and  Milo's  faction 
triumphed.  Clodius  took  shelter  in  a  neighboring  tavern,  but  Milo  had  the 
house  stormed  and  Clodius  dragged  out  and  slain. 

Cake,  To  take  the,  an  American  colloquial  expression,  applied  to  one  who 
does  a  thing  pre-eminently  well,  or,  sarcastically,  and  more  usually,  to  one 
who  fails  conspicuously.  It  had  its  origin  in  the  negro  cake-walks  common 
in  the  Southern  States,  and  not  unknown  in  the  Northern.  The  waik  usually 
winds  up  a  ball.  Couples,  drawn  by  lot,  walk  around  a  cake  especially  pre- 
pared for  the  occasion,  and  the  umpires  award  the  prize  to  the  couple  who,  in 
their  opinion,  walk  most  gracefully  and  are  attired  with  the  greatest  taste. 
Hence  they  are  said  "to  take  the  cake," — an  expression  which  has  attained  its 
wide  currency  through  the  burlesques  in  the  negro  minstrel  shows. 

Yet  the  negro  cake-walk  has  respectable  ancestry  in  the  mediaeval  past. 
Gerard's  "  Herball  "  (1633)  informs  us  that  "in  the  springtime  are  made  with 
the  leaves  hereof  newly  sprung  up,  and  with  egs,  cakes  or  tansies,  which  be 
pleasant  in  taste,  and  good  for  the  stomacke  ;"  and  a  contemporary,  speaking 
of  the  strictness  of  the  Puritans,  says,  "  All  games  where  there  is  any  hazard 
of  loss  are  strictly  forbidden  :  not  so  much  as  a  game  of  football  for  a  tansy." 
According  to  Brand,  in  the  Easter  season  foot-courses  were  run  in  the 
meadows,  the  victors  carrying  off  each  a  cake,  given  to  be  run  for  by  some 
better  person  in  the  neighborhood.  In  Ireland,  at  Easter  and  Whitsuntide, 
the  lower  classes  used  to  meet  and  dance  for  a  cake  raised  on  top  of  a  pike 
decorated  with  flowers,  the  prize  going  to  the  couple  who  held  out  the  longest; 
and  in  some  parts  of  England  a  custom  prevailed  of  riding  for  the  bride-cake, 
"This  riding  took  place  when  the  bride  was  brought  to  her  new  habitation.  A 
12* 


138  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

pole,  three  or  four  feet  high,  was  erected  in  front  of  the  house  and  the  cake  put 
on  top  of  it.  On  the  instant  tiiat  the  bride  set  out  from  her  old  home,  a  com- 
pany of  young  men  started  on  horseback,  and  he  who  was  fortunate  enough  to 
reach  the  pole  first  and  knock  the  cake  down  with  his  stick  received  it  from  the 
hands  of  a  damsel.  This  was  called  'taking  the  cake.'  The  fortunate  winner 
then  advanced  to  meet  the  bride  and  her  attendants." — Rev.  A.  MaCAULAY  : 
Hiftory  and  Antiquities  of  Clayl'rooK  (l  791). 

Cake,  Why  don't  they  eat?  This  is  said  to  have  been  the  reply  made 
by  some  very  young  and  very  ingenuous  princess — variously  nominated  by 
the  authorities  as  Marie  Antoinette,  the  Princess  de  Lamballe,  or  some  less- 
known  person — when  she  was  informed  that  there  was  a  famine  among  the 
poor,  and  that  many  were  dying  for  want  of  bread.  The  A7nerican  N'otes  and 
Queries  (iv.  103)  comes  to  the  rescue  of  the  maligned  princess — whom  it 
asserts  to  be  Marie  Antoinette — by  explaining  that  what  she  really  said  was, 
"  I  would  rather  eat  pie-crust  (croutons)  than  starve."  And  although  the 
courtiers  giggled,  the  laughers,  says  this  authority,  "are  on  the  side  of  the 
princess,  for  what  she  said  showed  her  good  sense  and  knowledge  of  the 
Tyrolese  peasantry.  In  the  Tyrol  it  was  customary  to  prepare  meat  for 
cooking  by  first  rolling  it  up  in  a  'breading'  composed  of  sawdust,  with  a 
small  amount  of  flour  to  give  it  coherence.  It  was  placed  among  the  embers 
and  left  to  cook  slowly.  When  the  meat  was  ready  to  be  served,  the  crust 
was  thrown  away  or  fed  to  swine.  Certainly  croiltons  might  not  have  been 
suitable  for  a  steady  diet,  but  nevertheless  the  princess  was  wiser  than  those 
who  tell  the  story  in  the  ordinary  form." 

Cake.  You  cannot  have  your  cake  and  eat  it,  a  familiar  English 
proverb,  of  obvious  application.  It  appears  in  this  form  in  Heywood's 
"  Proverbs :" 

Would  yee  both  eat  your  cake  and  have  your  cake  ? 

And  in  Herbert's  "  The  Size  :" 

Wouldst  thou  both  eat  thy  cake  and  have  it  ? 

Camel.  "  It  is  easier  for  a  camel  to  go  through  the  eye  of  a  needle,  than  for 
a  rich  man  to  enter  into  the  kingdom  of  God"  {Matt.  xix.  24).  This  phrase 
has  occasioned  much  controversy  among  commentators,  many  of  whom  have 
held  that  it  is  hyperbolical,  and  wanting  in  that  propriety  which  usually  char- 
acterizes the  metaphors  employed  by  Jesus  Christ.  Origen  and  Theophylact 
leaned  to  the  opinion  that  cable  should  be  substituted  for  camel,  claiming  that 
among  the  Hellenistic  Jews  Kain]hoQ  meant  indifferently  a  cable  or  a  camel.  St. 
Anselm  is  said  to  have  explained  it  thus  :  "  At  Jerusalem  there  was  a  certain 
gate,  called  the  needle's  eye,  through  which  a  camel  could  not  pass  but  upon 
its  bended  knees  and  after  its  burden  had  been  taken  off;  and  so  the  rich  man 
should  not  be  able  to  pass  along  the  narrow  way  that  leads  to  life  till  he  had  put 
off  the  burden  of  sin  and  of  riches, — that  is,  by  ceasing  to  love  them."  (Glossa 
apud  S.  Anselm.  in  Catena  Aurea,  vol.  i.  p.  670,  Oxf  trans.,  1841.)  St.  Anselm 
might  have  gone  further  than  this.  It  seems  to  be  pretty  well  established  that 
the  term  needle's  eye  was  frequently  apj^lied  to  a  small  door  or  wicket  in  an 
Eastern  town.  Nay,  such  an  apijlication  does  not  seem  unknown  in  the  West. 
Dante  (Purgatorio,  Canto  xv.  16)  speaks  of  himself  and  his  conductor  Vergil 
crawling  through  a  cruna, — i.e.,  the  eye  of  a  needle,  meaning  a  narrow  passage. 
Nevertheless  the  question  cannot  be  considered  as  settled.  Taking  the  saying 
in  its  most  literal  sense,  it  is  scarcely  more  hyperbolical  than  that  other  utter- 
ance of  our  Lord,  "  Strain  at  a  gnat  and  swallow  a  camel."  In  any  event 
Christ  was  only  making  use  of  a  proverbial  expression,  the  comparison  of  any 
difficulty  with  that  of  a  camel  or  an  elephant  passing  through  the  eye  of  a 


I-ITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  139 

needle  being  a  familiar  simile  to  Oriental  hearers.     (See  Notes  and  Queries, 
fifth  series,  ix.  270.) 

Shakespeare  construed  the  passage  in  St.  Anselm's  sense  when  he  said, — 

It  is  as  hard  to  come  as  for  a  camel 
To  thread  the  postern  of  a  needle's  eye. 

Richard  JI.,  Act  v.,  Sc.  5. 

Canard.  This  term,  as  applied  to  newspaper  inventions,  arose  in  the  fol- 
lowing manner.  Norbert  Cornelissen,  to  try  the  gullibility  of  the  public, 
reported  in  the  papers  that  he  had  twenty  ducks,  one  of  which  he  cut  up  and 
threw  to  the  nineteen,  who  devoured  it.  He  then  cut  up  a  second,  then  a  third, 
and  so  on  till  nineteen  were  cut  up;  and  as  the  nineteenth  was  eaten  by  the 
surviving  duck,  it  followed  that  this  one  had  eaten  his  nineteen  comrades  in  a 
wonderfully  short  space  of  time.  This  preposterous  tale  went  the  round  of  the 
newspapers  in  France  and  elsewhere,  and  so  gave  the  word  canard  ("  duck"), 
in  the  new  sense  of  a  hoax,  first  to  the  French  language,  and  then  to  all  civil- 
ized tongues.  This  story  may  have  suggested  to  W.  S.  Gilbert  his  "  Yarn  of 
the  Nancy  Bell." 

Cardinal,  from  the  Latin  cardo,  a  hinge,  a  name  applied  in  earlier  ages  to 
priests  and  deacons  in  a  metropolitan  church  who  acted  as  a  sort  of  council 
with  the  bishop.  It  was  never  exclusively  appropriated  to  members  of  the 
Sacred  College  at  Rome  until  Pius  V.  so  limited  its  use  in  1567.  thirty-three 
years  after  the  formal  nullification  by  Parliament  of  the  papal  authority  in 
Britain.  Hence  the  title  still  lingers  in  the  English  Church,  and  to  this  day 
two  members  of  the  College  of  Mhior  Canons  in  St.  Paul's  Cathedral,  London, 
are  styled  "the  Senior  and  Junior  Cardinals  of  the  Choir,"  their  duties  being 
to  preserve  order  in  the  services,  administer  the  Eucharist,  and  officiate  at 
funerals.  Thanks  to  the  secularization  of  church  properties,  other  traces  still 
exist  in  various  parts  of  Protestant  Europe  of  the  old  hierarchical  nomencla- 
ture,—thus.  Lord  Abbot  of  St.  Mary's,  at  Newry,  in  Ireland.  The  nomination 
of  one  of  the  sons  of  George  III.,  while  in  his  cradle,  to  a  Hanoverian  bishop- 
ric gave  point,  it  will  be  remembered,  to  a  passage  in  one  of  Burns's  most 
characteristic  poems.  "  It  once  occurred  to  me,"  says  a  newspaper  writer, 
I' to  be  presented  to  the  Herr  Abt  and  the  Fran  Abtin  of  a  secularized  abbey 
in  the  duchy  of  Luneburg.  The  Hei-r  Abt  was  a  friend  and  correspondent 
of  Strauss,  and  the  Frau  Abtin  waltzed  remarkably  well." 

Cards,  On  the.  Roughly,  this  common  locution  may  be  defined  as  in  the 
future,  in  order,  within  the  range  of  probability.  Thus,  Micawber,  in  "  David 
Copperfield,"  says,  "By  way  of  going  in  for  anything  that  might  be  on  the 
cards,"  etc.  Here  the  last  part  of  the  sentence  is  equivalent  to  his  favorite 
locution,  "anything  which  may  turn  up."  An  earlier  use  of  the  same  ex- 
pression occurs  in  Smollett's  translation  of  "  Gil  Bias"  (1749)  :  "  They  wanted 
to  discern  whether  I  played  the  villain  on  principle,  or  had  some  little  practical 
dexterity,  but  I  showed  them  tricks  which  they  did  not  know  to  be  on  the 
cards,  and  yet  acknowledged  to  be  better  than  their  own."  Here  the  phrase 
is  not  yet  divorced  from  its  original  connection  with  playing-cards. 

Carpet.  This  is  an  old  word  for  table-cloth,  as  tapis  in  French  means  both 
carpet  and  table-cloth.  "On  the  carpet,"  therefore,  originally  meant  laid 
on  the  table  for  future  consideration.  In  popular  English,  "to  be  carpeted" 
means  to  be  confronted  with  a  person  in  his  own  house. 

A  neighbor  was  telling  me  that  his  son  had  become  engaged  to  a  young  woman,  and  had 
suffered  much  in  the  ordeal  of  "asking  papa."  He  said,  "  He  was  carpeted  before  the  old 
gentleman  yesterday,  and  could  get  no  sleep  all  night  after  it."— C.  C.  B.,  in  Notes  and  Queries, 
seventh  series,  vii.  476. 


I40  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Carpet  !Knight, — in  allusion  to  the  carpet  on  which  mayors,  lawyers,  and 
other  civilians  knee]  when  receiving  the  honors  of  knighthood, — a  person  who 
has  been  knighted  through  court  favor,  and  not  in  recognition  of  services  in 
battle.  By  extension  the  phrase  is  applied  to  all  persons  who  have  gained 
distinction  without  earning  it. 

Carpet  knights  are  such  as  have  studied  law,  physic,  or  other  arts  or  sciences,  whereby  they 
have  become  famous,  and  seeing  that  they  are  not  knighted  as  soldiers,  they  are  not  therefore 
to  use  the  horseman's  title  or  spurs  ;  they  are  only  termed  simply  miles  and  milites,  "  Knight" 
or  "  Knights  of  the  Carpetry,  '  or  "  Knights  of  the  Green  Cloth,"  to  distinguish  them  from 
those  knights  that  are  dubbed  as  soldiers  in  the  field. — Randle  Holmes  :  Academy  of  Ar- 
mour, iii.  57. 

Carry  me  out,  an  expression  of  incredulity  or  contempt,  which  seems  to 
have  originated  in  England  about  1780,  but  is  now  less  common  there  than  in 
the  United  States.  It  is  sometimes  elaborated  into  "Carry  me  out  and  bury 
me  decently,"  or,  "and  leave  me  in  the  gutter."  An  American  variant  once 
very  familiar,  "  Carry  me  out  when  Kirby  dies,"  has  a  history  of  its  own. 

Castles  in  the  air,  a  proverbial  phrase  found  throughout  English  litera- 
ture, the  first  instance  noted  being  in  Sir  Philip  Sidney's  "  Defence  of  Poesy." 
The  metaphor  is  obvious  enough.  But  the  French  equivalent,  "chateaux  en 
Espagne"  ("castles  in  Spain"),  requires  explanation.  M.  Quitard  tells  us 
that  the  proverb  dates  from  the  latter  part  of  the  eleventh  century.  When 
Henry  of  Burgundy  crossed  the  Pyrenees  at  the  head  of  a  great  army  of 
knights  to  win  glory  and  plunder  from  the  Infidels,  Alfonso  of  Castile  re- 
warded Henry's  services  with  the  hand  of  his  daughter  Theresa,  and  the 
county  of  Lusitania, — the  latter  becoming,  under  the  issue  of  this  marriage, 
Alfonso  Henriquez,  the  kingdom  of  Portugal.  So  brilliant  a  success  excited 
the  emulation  of  other  warlike  French  nobles,  and  set  them  to  dreaming  of 
fiefs  won  and  castles  built  in  Spain.  In  further  explanation,  it  may  be  added 
that  previous  to  the  eleventh  century  few  castles  had  been  built  in  Spain, 
and  the  new  adventurers  had  to  build  for  themselves. 

Cat,  As  sick  as  a,  a  proverbial  English  phrase.  As  the  cat  is  not  often 
sick,  the  saying,  as  it  stands,  is  not  very  happy.  But  it  seems  that  the  original 
ran  : 

As  sick  as  cats 

With  eating  rats. 
Here  the  fitness  of  the  illustration  comes  out ;  for  however  senseless  it  may  seem  to  compare 
a  sick  and  suffering  Christian  to  the  active  wiry  little  animal  popularly  supposed  to  have  nine 
lives,  that  same  animal  is  all  but  invariably  sick  (in  every  sense  of  the  word)  if  rashly  permitted 
to  eat  the  rat  successfully  encountered  and  killed.  How  strange  that  this  second  line  should 
have  so  entirely  disappeared  from  common  speech,  when  it  has  not  only  reason,  but  the  more 
powerful  help  of  rhyme,  to  keep  it  in  remembrance  ! — Notes  atid  Queries,  fourth  series,  ii.  541. 

Cat.  The  cat  loves  fish,  but  she  is  loath  to  wet  her  feet.  This  is 
the  proverb  that  Lady  Macbeth  alludes  to  when  she  upbraids  her  husband  for 
irresolution  : 

Letting  "  I  dare  not"  wait  upon  "  I  would," 

Like  the  poor  cat  in  the  adage. 
Another  old  English  proverb  reminds  you  that  "  If  you  would  have  the  hen's 
egg  you  must  bear  with  her  cackling,"  while  the  Portuguese  say,  "There's  no 
catching  trout  with  dry  breeches."  Of  the  same  kind  was  the  good  woman's 
answer  to  her  husband  when  he  complained  of  the  exciseman's  gallantry  : 
"Such  things  must  be  if  we  sell  ale." 

Cat,  To  bell  the.  To  thwart  or  destroy  a  common  enemy  at  great  per- 
sonal risk.  The  phrase  originated  in  .^sop's  fable  of  the  colony  of  mice,  who, 
having  suffered  greatly  from  the  stealthy  strategy  of  a  cat,  met  together  to 
devise  a  remedy.     A  young  mouse  suggested  that  a  bell  should  be  hung  from 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  141 

Grimalkin's  neck.  Thus  due  notice  of  her  approach  would  always  be  given. 
Great  applause  greeted  the  suggestion,  until  an  old  mouse  put  the  pertinent 
question,  "Who  will  bell  the  cat?"  The  phrase  has  acquired  additional 
significance  through  an  incident  in  Scotch  history.  James  III.  had  greatly 
irritated  the  old  nobility  by  his  friendship  for  artists,  especially  for  one  Coch- 
ran, an  architect,  whom  he  had  created  Earl  of  Mar.  At  a  secret  meeting  of 
the  nobles  it  was  proposed  to  get  rid  of  the  favorite.  Lord  Gray,  fearing  that 
no  practical  result  would  be  achieved,  related  the  above  fable.  But  when  he 
asked,  "Who  will  bell  the  cat?"  Archibald,  Earl  of  Angus,  sprang  up  and 
cried,  "  I  will  bell  the  cat."  He  was  as  good  as  his  word.  He  captured 
Cochran  and  had  him  hanged  over  the  bridge  of  Lauder.  Afterwards  he 
was  always  known  as  Bell-the-Cat. 

Cat,  To  whip  the,  an  old  English  synonyme  for  practical  joking,  which 
takes  its  rise,  by  a  species  of  metonyme,  from  a  certain  practical  joke  formerly 
practised  on  country  louts.  Grose  (1785)  describes  it  as  "the  laying  of  a 
wager  with  them  that  they  may  be  pulled  through  a  pond  by  a  cat  ;  the  bet 
being  made,  a  rope  is  fixed  round  the  waist  of  the  party  to  be  catted,  and  the 
end  thrown  across  the  pond,  to  which  the  cat  is  also  fastened  by  a  pack- 
thread, and  three  or  four  sturdy  fellows  are  appointed  to  lead  and  whip  the 
cat ;  these,  on  a  signal  given,  seize  the  end  of  the  cord,  and,  pretending  to 
whip  the  cat,  haul  the  astonished  booby  through  the  water." 

Cat,  Touch  not  the  cat,  but  the  glove.  This  is  the  motto  of  the  Clan 
McPherson  (formerly  and,  it  may  be,  yet  in  the  Highlands,  known  as  the  Clan 
Chattan),  and  is  borne  on  the  coat  of  arms  of  its  chief,  Cluny  McPherson. 
The  badge  of  the  clan  is  the  wild-cat,  formerly  common  in  the  savage  moun- 
tain country  amid  which  the  clan  has  its  home,  where  it  is  yet  sometimes  to 
be  met  with,  and  the  motto  is  meant  to  indicate  that  it  is  as  dangerous  to 
meddle  with  the  cat  as  with  the  Clan  Chattan.  The  Scotch  badge,  the  thistle, 
with  its  motto,  N^emo  me  imputw  lacessit,  gives  the  same  warning. 

Catch.  This  word  is  usually  applied  to  what  was  formerly  called  a  bite 
(see  under  Biter  Bit)  and  now  frequently  known  as  a  sell,  and  also  to  any 
other  form  of  verbal  trickery  or  jugglery  whereby  an  unsophisticated  person 
is  brought  to  the  blush  or  taken  at  an  advantage.  A  very  ancient  form  of  the 
catch  in  action  is  afforded  by  the  story  of  Dido's  bargain  with  the  aboriginal 
Africans,  whereby  she  engaged  for  a  stipulated  sum  to  purchase  as  much  land 
as  could  be  compassed  by  a  bull's  hide,  and,  cutting  the  hide  into  thin  strips, 
the  wily  queen  secured  enough  ground  to  build  thereon  the  great  city  of 
Carthage.  A  similar  story  is  told  of  William  the  Conqueror  just  before  the 
battle  of  Hastings,  and  therefore,  to  be  strictly  accurate,  before  he  had  become 
the  Conqueror  and  when  he  was  simply  William  the  Shyster.  He,  too,  under 
exactly  the  same  conditions,  made  a  bull's  hide  encircle  several  miles  of  land, — 
namely,  from  Bulverhythe  (which  the  cunning  etymologist  would  make  synony- 
mous with  Bull-hide)  to  Come-Hide-in-Battel,  for  thither  (says  the  same  au- 
thority) came  the  hide.  The  Bull  Inn  at  Bulverhythe  is  extant  to  this  day  to 
corroborate  the  story.     Therefore  deny  it  at  your  peril. 

Catches  of  this  sort  have  been  familiarized  to  us  by  the  swindling  adver- 
tiser. For  example,  there  is  the  story  of  the  shrewd  P^nglishman  who  offered 
to  explain,  for  a  very  small  consideration,  how  a  good  deal  of  money  might  be 
saved  ;  and  when  the  unwary  had  transmitted  the  fee  he  received  the  reply, 
"Never  pay  a  boy  to  look  after  your  shadow  while  you  climb  a  tree  to  look 
into  the  middle  of  next  week."  Excellent  advice,  to  be  sure,  but  hardly 
applicable  to  every-day  requirements.  Another  advertiser  told  his  clients 
more  succinctly,  "Never  answer  an  advertisement  of  this  kind."     If  counsel 


142  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

of  this  sort  had  been  taken  by  the  world  at  large,  the  eager  agriculturist  who 
enclosed  a  fee  for  information  as  to  "  How  to  raise  beets"  would  have  been 
spared  the  chagrin  of  receiving  in  return  the  recipe,  "Take  hold  of  the  tops 
and  pull." 

A  well-known  story  is  that  of  the  showman  who  had  a  big  placard  on  his 
tent,  announcing  that  he  was  exhibiting  a  horse  with  his  tail  where  his  head 
ought  to  be.  The  inquisitive  paid  their  money,  were  admitted  within,  beheld 
a  horse  turned  around  so  that  his  tail  was  in  the  oat-bin,  laughed  shame- 
facedly, and  then  lingered  outside  the  tent  to  watch  their  fellow-creatures  get 
victimized  in  the  same  way. 

The  story  of  another  genius  is  thus  summed  up  in  the  Chicago  Trihme: 
"  His  history  is  briefly  told.     After  several  days  of  thought  he  discovered  a 
sure  way  of  making  money,  and,  like  other  men,  he  was  in  a  hurry  to  try  it. 
He  made  haste  to  insert  an  advertisement  something  like  the  following  in 
several  country  weeklies  : 

"  Sure  way  to  kill  potato-bugs  :  send  twenty  two-cent  stamps  to  X.  Y.  Z., ,  for  a  recipe 

that  cannot  fail. 

"Then  he  hired  a  dray  to  bring  his  mail  from  the  post-office,  and  had  10,000 
of  his  recipes  printed.  Inside  of  two  weeks  something  like  6000  or  7000 
farmers  had  contributed  twenty  two- cent  stamps  each  for  the  printed  recipes. 
Then  several  hundred  of  them  bought  clubs  and  railroad  tickets  and  started 
out  to  interview  the  advertiser.  At  his  office  they  were  informed  tiiat  he  had 
left  to  attend  to  some  business  in  Europe,  and  he  was  not  expected  back.  All 
he  had  left  was  a  package  of  3000  or  4000  slips  of  paper,  on  which  was 
printed  the  following  : 

"  Put  your  bug  on  a  shingle.     Then  hit  it  with  another  shingle." 

In  the  reign  of  Queen  Anne  the  "bite"  became  a  regular  institution,  and  is 
frequently  alluded  to  in  contemporary  authors. 

Many  of  these  "bites"  were  extremely  coarse,  if  not  actually  indecent.  A 
very  famous  one  was  known  as  "selling  a  bargain."  It  is  described  at  full 
length  by  Swift,  arid  the  curious  are  also  referred  to  a  sufficiently  ample  ac- 
count in  Farmer's  "Slang  and  its  Analogues,"  sub  voce  "Bargain."  The 
modern  catch,  familiar  to  bar-room  loafers,  is  often  a  descendant  of  the  gayer 
sort  of  bite.  A  few  examples  of  its  more  harmless  kin  may  be  admitted 
within  the  chaste  pages  of  this  compilation. 

Query:  "How  do  you  pronounce  Castoria?"  When  the  victim  has  glibly 
given  what  he  holds  to  be  the  true  answer  and  is  looking  round  for  applause, 
you  quietly  take  the  conceit  out  of  him  by  saying,  "  Physicians  pronounce  it 
harmless." 

Query  :  "  Do  you  say  9  and  5  is  13,  or  9  and  5  are  13  ?"  The  point  of  this 
very  venerable  gag  lies  in  the  fact  that  the  innocent  (supposing  he  be  caught 
young  enough)  looks  upon  it  as  a  purely  grammatical  question,  and  loses  sight 
of  the  mathematical  aspect.  But  the  wary  questioner  of  to-day,  knowing  that 
an  innocent  young  enough  to  be  sold  in  this  way  is  a  great  rarity,  usually 
mystifies  the  unwary  by  giving  the  true  amount  and  gleefully  noting  the  efforts 
of  the  victim  to  correct  the  mathematics  rather  than  the  grammar.  In  the 
same  way  the  questioner  has  a  string  in  reserve  when  he  twangs  his  bow  to 
this  effect :  "  I  lost  a  ring  Jn  the  river.  A  week  afterwards  I  caught  a  big 
salmon,  and  when  it  was  served  up  to  me  what  do  you  suppose  I  found  on 
opening  it  ?"  If  the  victim  is  forewarned  and  answers,  "  Bones,"  you  quietly 
retort,  "No  :  the  ring." 

Query  :  "  How  do  you  pronounce  the  preposition  t-o  .?"  The  victim  answers 
correctly.     You  continue,  "And  the  adverb  t-0-0.'"  "And  the  numeral  adjec- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  143 

tivet-w-o?"  Both  questions  are  answered  correctly.  Now  is  yonr  chance! 
"And  how  do  you  pronounce  the  second  day  of  the  week  ?"  There  are  a  few 
people  still  left  who  will  unwarily  reply,  "Tuesday."  A  pendant  to  this  is 
only  capable  of  oral  delivery,  for  reasons  that  will  be  apparent  at  once.  Ask 
a  man  to  write  down  the  sentence  "It  is  two  miles  to  London."  He  does  so 
readily  enough.  Then  confound  him  by  asking  hiiti  to  write  down  this  sen- 
tence,— which  can  no  more  be  printed  than  it  can  be  written,  and  must  there- 
fore be  phonetically  indicated, — "There  are  two  tu"?,  in  that  sentence." 

But  enough  of  these  puerilities.  A  task  better  befitting  the  masculine 
intellect  is  that  of  learning  the  current  "catches,"  whereby  a  man  may  inge- 
niously obtain  a  drink  without  paying  for  it.  Two  very  common  ones  must 
suffice.  Tlie  thirsty  l)ut  impecunious  soul  approaches  the  bar-tender  with  a 
lequest  for  brandy,  or  what  not.  He  takes  a  sip,  pronounces  it  detestable, 
and  offers  to  change  it  for  a  glass  of  whiskey.  The  obliging  bar-tender  sub- 
stitutes the  whiskey.  The  customer  drinks,  smacks  his  lips,  and  prej^ares  to 
dei^art.  "Here,"  says  the  bar-tender,  "you  haven't  paid  for  your  whiskey." 
"  No,"  is  the  innocent  response  ;  "  I  gave  you  the  brandy  in  exchange  for  it." 
"But  you  didn't  pay  for  the  brandy."  "But  I  didn't  drink  it."  And  while 
the  publican  intellect  is  vainly  struggling  with  the  mathematical  puzzle  involved, 
the  puzzler  makes  good  his  escape.  Another  method  is  said  to  be  coinmon 
with  a  thirsty  but  moneyless  crowd  in  Western  bar-rooms.  The  spokesman 
hails  a  passer-by  and  asks  him,  "Do  you  know  any  German?"  "Very  little," 
is  the  modest  reply.  "  Well,  can  you  translate  Was  wollen  sie  haben  ?" 
"  Why,  what  will  you  have?"  "Thanks  ;  make  it  a  whiskey  straight,"  bursts 
simultaneously  from  a  dozen  parched  throats.  And  the  man  of  polyglot 
information,  if  he  have  any  sense  of  shame,  will  promptly  acknowledge  that 
the  drinks  are  on  him. 

A  good  instance  of  a  common  form  of  newspaper  catch  is  chronicled  in  the 
following  gleeful  manner  bv  the  '^tvi  Yorl^  Commercial  Advertiser  {^3.y  iS, 
1S89),  under  the  heading  "The  Sun  Ceases  to  Shine  :" 

Our  esteemed  contemporary  the  Sint  is  not  yet  one  hundred  and  fifteen  years  old,  hut 
seems  to  have  lost  its  accustomed  brightness  when  quoting  the  following  hoax  from  the  Sa- 
vannah News,  and  entitling  it.  contrary  to  all  that  is  therein  said,  "  Lived  One  Hundred  and 
Fifteen  Years  without  Teeth  :" 

"  There  was  a  very  old  man  from  Meriwether  in  attendance  at  Pike  Superior  Court  last 
week.  He  was  feeble  in  appearance,  and,  indeed,  some  of  his  old  acquaintances  asked  him 
his  age.  '  Well,'  he  said,  "  if  I  live  to  see  February  31  I  will  be  one  hundred  and  fifteen  years 
old.  Another  remarkable  fact  connected  with  my  construction  is  that  I  haven't  a  tooth  in  my 
head.'  Opening  his  mouth  and  pointing  to  his  smooth,  toothless  gums,  he  continued,  '  I  was 
bom  that  way.  Wonderful  as  it  may  appear,  my  youngest  son  and  eldest  daughter  were  born 
that  way  also.'  " 

Doubtless  when  the  31st  of  February  comes  round  the  Sun  will  know  better,  or  else  cease 
to  shine  for  two  cents  or  any  other  price. 

It  is  not  unusual  with  editorial  wags  to  confound  a  literary  aspirant  by  tell- 
ing him  that  they  have  read  every  word  of  his  poem,  or  what  not.  "  Where  ?" 
cries  the  iiidignant  tyro.  "  In  the  dictionary."  In  the  same  way  Barnum 
used  to  bring  consternation  into  the  hearts  of  his  grocers  by  conijjlaining  that 
their  pepper  was  half  peas.  When  they  protested,  he  would  quietly  ask,  "  How 
do  you  spell  pepper  ?"  and  the  catch  stood  revealed. 

A  number  of  catches  have  descended  to  us  from  an  immemorial  antiquity 
in  the  form  of  question  and  answer.  Probably  the  best-known  are  "Where 
was  Moses  when  his  candle  went  out  ?"  and  "  Who  was  the  father  of  Zebedee's 
children  ?"  We  will  not  insult  our  readers'  intelligence  by  jirinting  the 
answers.  (To  be  sure,  in  the  second  case  it  might  be  objected  that  there 
is  a  quite  unwarranted  presumption  that  Zebedee's  children  were  more  than 
usual'ly  wise.  But  let  this  go.)  Here  are  a  few  more  "  chestnuts,"  whose 
whiskers  are  possibly  of  a  less  portentous  growth  : 


144  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

What  is  the  best  way  of  making  a  coat  last  ?  Make  the  trousers  and  waist- 
coat first. 

What  is  that  from  which  you  may  take  away  the  whole  and  yet  have  some 
left  ?     Tlie  word  wholesome. 

What  words  may  be  pronounced  quicker  and  shorter  by  adding  syllables  to 
them  ?     Quick  and  short. 

Which  would  you  rather,  look  a  greater  fool  than  you  are,  or  be  a  greater 
fool  than  you  look  t     (Let  the  person  choose,  then  say,)  That's  impossible. 

Which  would  you  rather,  that  a  lion  ate  you  or  a  tiger  ?  Undoubtedly,  the 
supposititious  "  you"  would  rather  that  the  lion  ate  the  tiger.  But  he  does 
not  always  "  catch  on." 

How  do  you  spell  blind  pig  in  two  letters  >     P  G  without  an  I. 

When  can  donkey  be  spelt  with  one  letter  ?     When  it's  U. 

If  I  saw  you  riding  on  a  donkey,  what  fruit  should  I  be  reminded  of?  A 
pair. 

What  comes  after  cheese  ?     Rats  ! 

What  question  is  that  to  which  you  positively  must  answer  yes  ?  What 
does  y-e-s  spell  ? 

Catchpenny.  A  now  recognized  term  for  anything  brought  out  for  sale 
with  a  view  to  entrap  unwary  purchasers.  It  originated  in  the  year  1824,  just 
after  the  execution  of  Thurtell  for  the  murder  of  Weare,  a  murder  that  cre- 
ated a  great  sensation.  Catnach,  the  celebrated  printer  of  Seven  Dials,  in 
London,  made  a  large  sum  by  the  publication  of  Thurtell's  "  last  dying  speech." 
When  the  sale  of  this  speech  began  to  fall  off,  Catnach  brought  out  a  second 
edition,  with  the  heading  "  WE  ARE  alive  again  !"  the  words  "  we  are"  being 
printed  with  a  very  narrow  space  between  them.  These  two  words  the  people 
took  for  the  name  of  the  murdered  man,  reading  it  "  WEARE  alive  again  ;" 
and  a  large  edition  was  rapidly  cleared  off.  Some  one  called  it  a  "catch- 
penny," and  the  word  rapidly  spread,  until  Catnach's  productions  were  usu- 
ally so  styled,  and  the  word  was  adopted  into  the  language. 

Catherine,  St.  "  Elle  a  coififee  Sainte-Catherine"  ("  She  has  dressed  the 
hair  of  St.  Catherine")  is  a  familiar  French  proverb  applied  to  an  old  maid. 
There  is  a  superstition  in  some  of  the  provinces  of  France  that  the  maiden 
who  dresses  the  bride's  hair  on  her  wedding-day  will  surely  become  a  bride 
herself  at  some  future  time.  But,  inasmuch  as  Saint  Catherine  was  the  patron 
saint  of  virgins,  the  maiden  vihov/zSicd  pour  coiffer  Sainte-Catherine  nc\&r  had 
the  opportunity  ;  she  was  destined  to  die  an  old  maid. 

A  second  and  simpler  explanation  is  to  be  found  in  the  custom  of  decorating 
the  heads  of  the  statues  in  churches.  And  inasmuch  as  only  virgins  would  be 
selected  to  decorate  the  head  of  the  patroness  of  virgins,  it  was  natural  to 
consider  this  office  as  m  a  measure  the  function  of  those  who  had  grown  to  an 
age  when  marriage  was  no  longer  a  possibility.  A  witty  Frenchman  says,  in 
fixing  this  period,  "  II  y  a  certaines  vieilles  filles  qui  out  passe  la  cinquantaine 
qui  fixent  le  terme  fatal  entre  soixante  et  soixante-dix  ans."  A  French  proverb 
says,  "  A  vingt-quatre  ans  on  se  marie  sans  choisir,  lorsqn'on  tient  a  ne  pas 
coiffer  Sainte-Catherine." 

Cats  and  Dogs,  To  rain.  To  rain  profusely,  to  rain  pitchforks.  This 
slang  phrase  first  occurs  in  Dean  Swift's  "Polite  Conversation"  (173S)  :  "I 
know  Sir  John  will  go,  though  he  was  sure  it  would  rain  cats  and  dogs"  (Dia- 
logue II.).  Is  he  quoting  a  proverbial  phrase  ?  Or  is  this  an  allusion  to  the 
Dean's  own  lines  written  in  1710  ? 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  145 

Now  from  all  parts  the  swelling  kennels  flow. 

And  bear  their  trophies  with  them  as  they  go ; 

Drowned  puppies,  stinking  sprats  all  drenched  in  mud, 

Dead  cats,  and  turnip-tops,  come  tumbling  down  the  flood. 

Description,  of  a  City  Shower. 
Caucus,  an  American  political  term,  meaning  a  secret  conference  of  the 
leaders  or  legislators  of  any  political  party  in  regard  to  measures  or  candi- 
dates. The  conclusions  arrived  at  by  the  caucus  are  considered  binding  on 
the  members  in  all  the  public  matters  to  which  they  refer.  The  usual  etymon 
refers  the  term  to  a  political  club  founded  about  1724  by  Henry  Adams  and 
his  friends, — most  of  whom  were  shipwrights,  sea-captains,  and  persons  other- 
wise connected  with  the  shipping  interest.  Hence  the  institution  was  known 
as  the  Calkers'  Club.  As  its  avowed  object  was  to  lay  plans  for  introducing 
certain  persons  into  places  of  trust  and  power,  the  word  caucus  may  have 
grown  out  of  a  corruption  of  the  name.  Another  less  obvious  but  still  plausi- 
ble derivation  is  suggested  by  Dr.  Trumbull  ("  Transactions  of  the  American 
Philological  Association,"  1872),  who  says  its  origin  is  the  Indian  cau-cau-as'n, 
which  he  defines  as  "  one  who  advises,  urges,  encourages,  etc." 

Cause,  Thou  Great  First.  There  is  a  line  in  Pope's  "  Universal  Prayer" — 
Thou  Great  First  Cause,  least  understood— 
which  is  persistently  attributed  to  Milton.  Even  Charles  Lamb  seems  to  have 
fallen  into  this  mistake,  if  Crabb  Robinson  be  right,  who  records  in  his  Diary 
that  when  he  received  his  first  brief  he  called  upon  Lamb  to  tell  him  of  it. 
"  I  suppose,"  said  Lamb,  "you  addressed  to  it  that  line  of  Milton, — 
Thou  greatyfrj/  cause,  least  understood." 

Caveat  emptor  (L.,  "Let  the  purchaser  beware,"  or  "take  care  of  him- 
self"), an  ancient  legal  phrase.  It  was  formerly  held  that  a  buyer  must  be 
bound  by  a  bargain  under  all  circumstances.  Chief-Justice  Tindal,  in  giv- 
ing judgment  in  the  case  Brown  vs.  Edgington  (2  Scott,  N.  R.,  504),  modified 
this  ancient  rule.  He  said,  "  If  a  man  purchases  goods  of  a  tradesman  with- 
out in  any  way  relying  upon  the  skill  and  judgment  of  the  vendor,  the  latter 
is  not  responsible  for  their  turning  out  contrary  to  his  expectation  ;  but  if  the 
tradesman  be  informed,  at  the  time  the  order  is  given,  of  the  purpose  for 
which  the  article  is  wanted,  the  buyer  relying  upon  the  seller's  judgment, 
the  latter  impliedly  warrants  that  the  things  furnished  shall  be  reasonably 
fit  and  proper  for  the  purposes  for  which  it  is  required." 

Caviare  to  the  general,  something  above  the  intellectual  reach  of  the 
crowd.  Shakespeare  makes  Hamlet  use  the  phrase  :  "  The  play  I  remembered 
pleased  not  the  million  ;  'twas  caviare  to  the  general"  (Act  ii.,  Sc.  2).  Caviare, 
a  preparation  of  sturgeons'  roes,  originated  in  Russia,  and  was  at  one  time  a 
considerable  article  of  commerce  between  that  country  and  England.  In 
Shakespeare's  time  it  was  a  new  and  fashionable  delicacy,  relished  only  by 
connoisseurs,  hence  the  allusion. 

Celestial  Empire,  a  title  frequently  given  to  China.  It  is  derived  from 
the  Chinese  words  Tien  Chan, — i.e..  Heavenly  Dynasty,  meaning  the  kingdom 
which  the  dynasty  appointed  by  heaven  rules  over.  The  term  Celestials  is  a 
nickname  of  foreign  manufacture,  and  S.  Wells  Williams,  in  "  The  Middle 
Kingdom,"  informs  us  that  "  the  language  could  with  difficulty  be  made  to 
express  such  a  patronymic." 

Cent,  Not  •worth  a.  From  a  very  early  period  the  names  of  small  coins 
have  been  used  in  popular  speech  and  in  literature  to  set  a  low  estimate  on 
some  person  or  thing.  Thus,  in  the  old  epic  "  Huon  de  Bordeaux"  the 
"amiral"  tells  the  hero, — 


146  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

je  n'en  ferai  noiant, 
Ne  pris  vo  deu  un  denier  valissant, 

which,  translated  into  good  American,  would  read,  "  All  the  same,  I  won't  do 
it,  nor  do  I  care  for  your  god  worth  a  cent."  The  expression  is  continually 
met  with  both  in  Trouvere  and  in  Troubadour  literature.  The  Germans  say, 
"  I  wouldn't  give  a  red  heller  for  it"  ("  Ich  gabe  keinen  rothen  Heller  dafiir"),  a 
curious  analogue  to  ouf  "red  cent."  Englishmen  say,  "  not  worth  a  far- 
thing," and  use  "  twopenny"  as  an  adjective  of  extreme  contempt.  The  still 
more  common  phrase  "  not  worth  a  dam"  is  in  all  probability  of  analogous 
origin.  It  was  first  used  by  Englishmen  trading  in  the  East,  and  is  held  to 
be  an  allusion  to  the  dam,  a  small  brass  coin  current  in  Persia  and  in  India, 
equivalent  in  value  to  one-fortieth  of  a  rupee,  or  about  a  cent.  In  England, 
owing  to  ignorance  of  its  origin  and  meaning,  it  suffered  orthographical  pro- 
fanation, and  came  to  signify  a  thing  of  so  small  account  as  not  to  be  worth 
the  waste  of  breath  involved  in  damning  it.  The  American  phrase  "Not 
worth  a  continental  dam"  would  be  nonsense  unless  we  recognized  that  at 
the  time  when  first  used  some  faint  memory  of  its  original  meaning  still 
clung  to  the  word  dam. 

Certum  est  quia  impossibile  (L.,  "  It  is  certain  because  it  is  impossi- 
ble"). This  paradoxical  declaration  of  an  overruling  faith  occurs  in  Tertul- 
lian's  treatise  "  De  Carne  Christi,"  §4.  The  context  is  as  follows:  "  Natus 
est  Dei  filius  :  non  pudet,  quia  pudendum  est.  Et  mortuus  est  Dei  filius  : 
prorsus  credibile  est,  quia  ineptum  est.  Et  sepultus,  resurrexit :  certum  est, 
quia  impossibile.  Sed  hsec  quomodo  in  illo  vera  erunt  si  ipsi  non  fuit  verus, 
si  non  vere  habuit  in  se  quod  figeretur,  quod  moreretur,  quod  sepeliretur  et 
resuscitaretur."  Sir  Thomas  Browne  was  fond  of  quoting  this  expression. 
Thus,  in  "  Religio  Medici,"  Part  i.,  §  9,  "I  learned  of  Tertullian  certum  est  quia 
impossibile  est.  I  learned  to  exercise  my  faith  in  the  difiicultest  point  ;  for 
to  credit  ordinary  and  visible  objects  is  not  faith,  but  persuasion."  But  Til- 
lotson  (Sermons,  cxl.)  expressly  disagrees  with  Sir  Thomas  :  "  I  know  not  what 
some  men  may  find  in  themselves  :  but  I  must  freely  acknowledge  that  I  could 
never  yet  attain  to  that  bold  and  hardy  degree  of  faith  as  to  believe  anything 
for  this  reason,  because  it  was  impossible.  So  that  I  am  very  far  from  being 
of  his  mind,  that  wanted,  not  only  more  difficulties,  but  even  impossibilities, 
in  the  Christian  religion,  to  exercise  his  faith  upon."  Naturally  the  entire 
school  of  experimental  philosophers,  to  whom  faith  is  synonymous  with  cre- 
dulity, condemn  the  saying.  "When  one  thinks,"  says  Huxley,  "that  such 
delicate  questions  as  those  involved  fell  into  the  hands  of  men  like  Papias 
(who  believed  in  the  famous  millenarian  grape  story) ;  of  Irenaeus  with  his 
'reasons'  for  the  existence  of  only  four  gospels;  and  of  such  calm  and  dis- 
passionate judges  as  Tertullian,  with  his  Credo  quia  impossibile,  the  marvel  is 
that  the  selection  which  constitutes  our  New  Testament  is  as  free  as  it  is  from 
obvious  objectionable  matter."  It  will  be  seen  that  Huxley  substitutes  credo 
for  certum  est.  The  misquotation  is  very  common.  Even  Sir  Thomas 
Browne,  who  knew  better,  falls  into  it  at  least  once.  Another  familiar  error 
is  the  fathering  of  the  saying  on  St.  Augustine. 

Chacun  ^  son  gout  (Fr.,  "Every  one  to  his  taste"),  a  familiar  proverb 
embodying  the  Gallic  equivalent  for  the  old  Latin  maxim,  "  De  gustibus  non 
est  disputandum"  ("There  is  no  disputing  about  tastes"). 

It  is  said  that  the  Jews  are  the  chosen  people  of  God.  Well,  chacun  &,  son  gout.  They 
are  not  mine. — Schopenhauer. 

One  would  be  safe  in  wagering  that  any  given  public  idea  is  erroneous,  for  it  has  been 
yielded  to  the  clamor  of  the  majority;  and  this  strictly  philosophical,  although  somewhat 
French,  assertion  has  especial  bearing  upon  the  whole  race  of  what  are  termed  maxims  and 
popular  proverbs,  nine-tenths  of  which  are  the  quintessence  of  folly.     One  oi  the  most  de- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1 47 

plorably  false  of  them  is  the  antique  adage,  De  £-usiiius  non  est  disputandum, — there  should 
be  no  disputing  about  taste.  Here  the  idea  designed  to  be  conveyed  is  that  any  one  person 
has  as  just  right  to  consider  his  own  taste  true  as  has  any  one  other, — that  taste  itself,  in  short, 
is  an  arbitrary  something,  amenable  to  no  law,  and  measurable  by  no  definite  rules. — E.  A.  PoE. 

Chalks.  To  walk  one's  chalks,  to  move  away,  to  run  away,  "  to  cut 
one's  stick."  The  origin  is  uncertain,  but  it  is  plausibly  suggested  that  it  may 
be  found  in  the  prerogative  once  accorded  to  travelling  royalty,  whereby  the 
marshal  and  sergeant  chamberlain  designated  by  a  chalk-mark  the  houses  to 
be  occupied  by  the  retinue,  and  the  inmates  were  expected  to  vacate  at  once. 
In  163S,  when  Mary  de  Medicis  came  to  England,  Sieur  de  Labat  was  in- 
structed "  to  mark  all  sorts  of  houses  commodious  to  the  retinue  in  Colchester." 
The  apparently  analogous  phrase  "  to  walk  the  chalk"  has  a  totally  different 
origin  and  application.  It  is  a  reference  to  the  ordeal  on  shipboard  by  which 
men  suspected  of  drunkenness  were  tried, — a  straight  line  being  drawn,  along 
which  they  were  to  walk. 

Charade,  a  form  of  amusement  which  consists  in  taking  some  word  whose 
every  component  syllable  forms  a  word  in  itself,  then  describing  each  syllable 
by  a  synonyme  or  a  definition,  reuniting  the  whole,  describing  that  too  in  the 
same  way,  and  asking  the  reader  or  listener  to  guess  what  the  word  is.  An 
example  is  the  following  : 

My  first  makes  company. 

My  second  shuns  company. 

My  third  assembles  company. 

My  whole  puzzles  company. 

Answer.— Co-nun-drum. 

A  less  frequent  form  of  charade  treated  the  component  letters  in  a  similar 
way.     Here  is  one  from  the  French,  and  another  a  native  English  production  1 

Quatre  membres  font  tout  mon  bien, 

Mon  dernier  vaut  mon  tout,  et  mon  tout  ne  vaut  rien. 

(Four  members  I  can  bless  myself  withal  ; 
My  last  is  worth  my  whole,  my  whole's  worth  nought  at  all. 
Answer. — "Zero.") 

^y  first  is  a  circle,  my  second  a  cross  ; 
If  you  meet  with  my  whole,  look  out  for  a  toss. 
Answer. — Ox. 

Sydney  Smith  is  very  hard  upon  this  innocuous  amusement.  Indeed,  he 
calls  charades  "unpardonable  trumpery,"  and  insists  that  if  they  are  made  at 
all,  they  should  be  made  without  benefit  of  clergy,  the  offender  should  instantly 
be  hurried  off  to  execution,  and  be  cut  off  in  the  middle  of  his  dulness,  with- 
out being  allowed  to  explain  to  the  executioner  why  his  first  is  like  his  second, 
or  what  is  the  resemblance  between  his  fourth  and  his  ninth.  Yet  some  very 
clever  men  have  condescended  to  this  trumpery,  among  them  Winthrop  Mack- 
worth  Praed,  C.  S.  Calverley,  R.  H.  Barham,  and  others.  Here  is  Praed's 
best,  a  really  fine  poem  in  itself: 

Come  from  my  First,  ay,  come  ; 

The  battle  dawn  is  nigh, 
And  the  screaming  trump  and  the  thundering  drum 

Are  calling  thee  to  die. 

Fight,  as  thy  father  fought ; 

Fall,  as  thy  father  fell : 
Thy  task  is  taught,  thy  shroud  is  wrought ; 

So  forward  and  farewell ! 

Toll  ye  my  Second,  toll  ; 
Fling  high  the  flambeau's  light ; 
And  sing  the  hymn  for  a  parted  soul 
Beneath  the  silent  night ; 


148  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  helm  upon  his  head. 
The  cross  upon  his  breast, 
Let  the  prayer  be  said,  and  the  tear  be  shed  : 
Now  take  him  to  his  rest ! 

Call  ye  my  Whole,  go  call 

The  lord  of  lute  and  lay. 
And  let  him  greet  the  sable  pall 

With  a  noble  song  to-day ; 

Ay,  call  him  by  his  name. 

No  fitter  hand  may  crave 
To  light  the  flame  of  a  soldier's  fame 

On  the  turf  of  a  soldier's  grave  ! 

Camp-bell  (Campbell). 

Here  are  a  number  of  charades  which  seem  to  have  established  themselves 
in  popular  favor  : 

My  first  begins  with  a  B,  my  second  begins  with  a  B,  and  my  whole  is 
generally  said  of  a  Ba-By. — Hum-bug  ! 

When  you  stole  my  first,  I  lost  my  second,  and  you  are  the  only  person  to 
give  me  my  whole. — Heart's-ease  ! 

My  first  a  baby  does  when  you  pinch  it ; 
My  second  a  lady  says  when  she  doesn't  mean  it ; 
My  third  exists  and  no  one  e'er  has  seen  it ; 
And  my  whole  contains  the  world's  best  half  within  it. 
Cri-no-line. 

My  first  is  a  little  bird  as  hops. 
My  second  comes  with  May  crops. 
My  'ole  you  eats  with  mutton-chops. 
Sparrer-grass  (that  being  the  cockney's  notion  of  asparagus). 

My  first  bites  you. 
My  second  fights  you. 
My  whole  frights  you. 
Bug-bear ! 

My  first  I  hope  you  are. 
My  second  I  see  you  are. 
My  whole  I  know  you  are. 
Wel-come. 

The  form  of  riddle  sometimes  known  as  decapitation  is  substantially  a 
charade.     A  very  few  examples  will  have  to  suffice  : 

Take  away  one  letter  from  me,  and  I  murder  ;  take  away  two,  and  I  probably 
shall  die,  if  my  whole  does  not  save  me. — Kill — ill — skill. 
A  stranger  comes  from  foreign  shores. 

Perchance  to  seek  relief: 
Curtail  him,  and  you  find  his  tale 

Unworthy  of  belief; 
Curtailed  again,  you  recognize 
An  old  Egyptian  chief. 

Alien — A  lie — Ali. 

Cut  off  my  head,  and  singular  I  act, 

Cut  off  my  tail,  and  plural  I  appear ; 
Cut  off  my  head  and  tail,  and,  wondrous  fact. 

Although  my  middle's  left,  there's  nothing  there. 
What  is  my  head  cut  off?     A  sounding  sea ; 

What  is  my  tail  cut  off?     A  flowing  river. 
In  whose  translucent  depths  I  fearless  play, 

Parent  of  sweetest  sounds,  yet  mute  forever. 
Cod.     (The  above  has  sometimes  been  attributed  to  Macaulay.) 

There  is  a  word  of  seven  letters,  take  away  five,  a  male  remains,  take  away 
four,  a  female,  take  away  three,  you  have  a  brave  man,  while  the  whole  is  a 
brave  woman. — He,  her,  hero,  heroine. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1 49 

I  am  neither  fish,  flesh,  nor  fowl,  yet  I  frequently  stand  upon  one  leg,  and 
if  you  behead  me  I  stand  upon  two  ;  what  is  more  strange,  if  you  again  de- 
capitate me  I  stand  upon  four,  and  I  shall  think  you  are  related  to  me  if  you 
do  not  now  recognize  me. — Glass — lass — ass. 

The  last-quoted  example  reminds  one  of  the  famous  story  of  Professor 
James  S.  Blackie,  of  Glasgow  University.  He  had  posted  up  a  notice,  "  Pro- 
fessor Blackie  will  meet  his  classes  to-morrow."  A  humorous  dog  among  the 
students  rubbed  out  the  c  in  classes.  Then  Professor  Blackie  got  even  by 
rubbing  out  the  /. 

Charivari  (a  French  word  of  uncertain  origin),  the  name  given  to  a  custom 
frequently  observed  in  the  south  of  France,  and  traceable  to  a  very  high  an- 
tiquity. A  terrific  uproar  is  produced  by  kettles,  frying-pans,  and  horns, 
accompanied  by  shouts  and  cries,  and  the  singing  of  rather  low  songs,  under 
the  windows  of  the  newly  married,  especially  if  they  are  advanced  in  years 
or  have  been  married  before.  Disapproval  of  unpopular  persons  is  also  ex- 
pressed in  the  same  way,  and  by  extension  the  name  is  now  applied  to  any 
tumultuous  discord.  The  custom  was  brought  over  to  America  by  the  French 
settlers  of  Louisiana,  Alabama,  and  the  Canadian  provinces,  and  through 
them  has  been  pretty  generally  diffused  over  the  United  States,  where  it  still 
retains  its  hold  in  various  rural  communities  under  the  name  of  shivaree. 

Twenty  years  ago,  it  may  be  safely  said,  there  were  very  few  hamlets  or  rural  communities 
of  any  size,  from  Pennsylvania  west  through  the  central  belt  of  States,  where  the  custom  was 
not  known,  and  more  or  less  frequently  practised.  Whether  it  ever  gained  much  hold  in 
Michigan,  Wisconsin,  and  the  Northern  States  of  the  West,  I  cannot  say,  but  I  do  know  that 
it  was  most  prevalent  in  Ohio,  Indiana,  and  Illinois,  and  that  in  some  instances  colonies  from 
these  States  transplanted  it  into  Kansas  and  Nebraska.  That  it  still  prevails  in  many  dis- 
tricts I  could  bring  abundant  evidence.  The  "  shivaree"  is  described  at  length  in  Eggleston's 
"  The  End  of  the  World."  I  know  of  no  other  writer  who  has  even  tried  to  convert  its  un- 
pleasant vulgarity  into  dramatic  effect.  It  was  a  compliment  extended  to  every  married 
couple  on  their  nuptial  night,  and  consisted  of  a  serenade  made  up  of  beating  tin  pans,  blow- 
ing horns,  ringing  cow-bells,  playing  horse-liddles,  caterwauling,  and,  in  fine,  of  the  use  of 
every  disagreeable  sound  possible  to  make  night  hideous.  This  noise  was  kept  up  often  for 
hours,  or  until  the  bridegroom  made  his  appearance  and  "  treated"  the  crowd.  It  was  of  no  use 
for  this  luckless  individual  to  attempt  to  wear  out  the  crowd  by  an  obstinate  refusal  to  appear. 
In  that  case,  the  outside  company  would  grow  riotous,  would  hurl  stones  and  fire  blank  car- 
tridges through  the  windows,  and  after  them,  perhaps,  dead  cats  and  rotten  eggs.  Nor  was  it 
of  any  use  for  a  couple  to  have  the  ceremony  performed  earlier  in  the  day  and  start  immedi- 
ately on  their  bridal  tour:  the  "shivaree"  would  and  did  keep,  and  was  served  up  to  them,  in 
all  its  unadulterated  nastiness,  immediately  upon  their  return.  Of  course  the  actors  in  the 
"shivaree"  business  were  mainly  young  men  and  boys.  The  older  men  of  the  community 
protested  against  it,  and  all  respectable  women  utterly  loathed  it.  The  decadence  of  this  rough 
form  of  sport  may  be  ascribed  first  to  the  general  diffusion  of  education  and  civilized  customs 
that  has  been  going  on  of  late  years,  and,  secondly,  to  the  great  tendency  of  population  towards 
cities.  This  latter  fact  has  acted  in  two  ways  :  it  has  taken  the  ringleaders  away  from  the 
rural  communities,  causing  the  custom  there  to  die  a  natural  death,  and  these  characters  have 
not  been  able  to  transplant  their  amusement  to  their  new  abodes,  since  there  they  come  under 
the  supervision  of  police  officers,  whose  business  it  is  to  interfere  with  such  infractions  of  the 
peace.  The  "shivaree"  custom  was  unquestionably  a  survival  of  semi-barbaric  times;  the 
curious  point  to  note  is  how  nearly  this  barbarous  custom  touches  our  advanced  civil!  zation  of 
the  present  day.— Alice  C.  Chase:  American  Notes  and  Queries,  vol.  i.  p.  263  (1889). 

In  the  good  old  city  which  has  been  immortalized  in  story  as  Rivermouth  it  chanced  that 
a  couple  who  did  not  move  in  the  most  exalted  society  circles,  and  from  whom  the  most  refined 
sentiments  might  not  have  been  expected,  were  united  in  the  holy  bonds  of  matrimony  upon 
the  day  which  followed  the  funeral  of  the  first  wife  of  the  groom.  The  conventional  sense  of 
propriety  in  the  neighborhood  was  shocked  by  this  haste  in  furnishing  forth  the  marriage 
tables  with  the  funeral  baked  meats,  and  upon  the  night  of  the  wedding  a  company  of  sons  of 
Belial  gathered  themselves  together  and  went  to  serenade  the  bridal  pair  with  horrid  uproar 
of  horns  and  pans  and  guns. 

The  charivari  was  at  its  height,  and  all  the  region  was  aroused  by  the  hideous  noise,  when 
the  bride  appeared  darkly  at  the  window  above  the  riotous  crowd,  and  with  supreme  feeling 
appealed  to  their  delicacy. 

"  Ain't  you  ashamed,"  she  cried,  in  hot  indignation,  "to  come  here  making  a  disturbance 
like  this,  when  we  had  a  funeral  only  yesterday  ?" — Boston  Courier. 

13* 


150  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Chartered  Libertine.  This  phrase  originated  with  Shakespeare,  "  Henry 
v.,"  Act  i.,  Sc.  I  : 

when  he  speaks, 
The  air,  a  chartered  Ubertine,  is  still. 

The  application  of  the  term  to  the  press,  the  connection  in  which  it  is  now 
most  frequently  used,  was  made  by  the  Earl  of  Chatham.  When  Mr.  Gran- 
ville in  1757  called  his  attention  to  the  furious  onslaughts  made  upon  him  in 
pamphlets  and  journals,  Pitt  smiled,  and  only  eaid,  "The  press  is,  like  the  air, 
a  chartered  libertine."  The  equally  famous  term  "the  ribald  press"  was 
used  by  Lord  John  Russell,  February  8,  1885,  in  a  defence  of  Lord  Raglan 
during  the  Crimean  war.  The  London  Times  thundered  very  effectively 
against  this  opprobrious  epithet. 

Chauvin,  Chauvinism.  The  word  "  chauvinism,"  meaning  a  blatant  thirst 
for  military  glory,  is  of  comparatively  recent  origin  in  France.  Chauvin  is  a 
character  in  "La  Cocarde  Tricolore,"  a  comedy  by  two  brothers,  Theodore 
and  Hippolyte  Cogniard,  first  produced  at  the  Folies  Dramatiques  on  March 
19,  1831.  The  plot  is  laid  in  Africa,  and  treats  of  the  conquest  of  Algiers. 
Chauvin  is  a  young  recruit,  who  talks  a  great  deal,  displays  considerable  cour- 
age, and  is  made  to  sing  couplets  with  the  refrain, — 

J'suis  Frangais,  j'suis  Chauvin, — 
J'tape  sur  le  Bedouin  ! 

The  comedy  was  a  great  success  in  its  day,  and  it  is  not  unlikely  that  the  word 
chaiivinisme  originated  in  the  above  couplet.  Nevertheless,  a  contributor  to 
the  Paris  Figaro,  well  known  under  the  pseudonyme  of  Vieux  Parisien,  claimed 
that  the  dramatists  were  not  the  authors  of  the  name.  He  himself  was  per- 
sonally acquainted  with  one  Nicholas  Chauvin,  an  old  Napoleonic  soldier 
with  a  pension  of  two  hundred  francs,  who,  notwithstanding  the  many  hard- 
ships he  underwent  while  in  active  service, — he  was  wounded  seventeen 
times, — talked  of  nothing  but  the  glory  of  his  Emperor.  It  was  from  him 
that  the  authors  of  "  La  Cocarde  Tricolore'"  gave  the  name  of  Chauvin  to 
their  young  recruit.  The  word  chauviiiisme  is  not  to  be  found  in  the  edition 
of  Molin's  Dictionnaire,  published  in  1S42  ;  but  that  it  had  by  this  time  en- 
tered into  common  parlance  is  evidenced  from  Bayard  and  Dumanoir's  play 
"Les  Aides-de-Camp,"  produced  April  i,  1842,  in  which  one  of  the  charac- 
ters says,  "  You  have  left  finance,  but  since  your  marriage  you  have  entered 
into  chauvinism,  as  they  say." 

Cheese,  Thafs  the,  a  slang  phrase  both  in  England  and  America,  has 
been  variously  explained  as  a  rough-and-ready  translation  of  the  French  Cest 
la  chose,  as  an  appropriation  of  the  Romany  or  gypsy  word  cheese,  meaning 
"  thing"  (cf  Hindostani  cheez,  chiz,  also  meaning  "  thing"),  or,  more  probably, 
as  a  corruption  from  the  Anglo-Saxon  word  ceosan,  to  "choose."  In  the  latter 
case,  "  that's  the  cheese"  would  mean  "  that's  what  I  would  choose."  By  way 
of  illustration  might  be  quoted  Langland,  "  Now  thou  might  cheese  how  thou 
countest  to  call  me"  (Vision  of  Piers  Plo^cvmatt),  or  Chaucer,  "To  chese 
whether  she  would  marry  or  no."  A  story  that  is  told  to  explain  how  the 
phrase  arose  is  worth  quoting,  because  it  is  sufiiciently  amusing  in  itself,  but 
it  has  no  philological  value.  It  is  said  that  an  old  woman  in  the  north  of 
Ireland  had  a  grandson  of  voracious  appetite.  Once  she  had  purchased  a 
cake  of  brown  soap,  and  laid  it  on  the  window-sill.  A  few  hours  afterwards 
she  asked,  "  Paddy,  where's  the  soap  ?"  "  Soap  ? — what  soap  ?"  "  Why,  the 
soap  that  was  on  the  window-sill."  "  Oh,  granny,"  said  he,  "  that  was  the 
cheese."  This  was  a  standing  joke  on  Paddy,  and  became  a  popular  by- 
word ever  after,  so  much  so  that  the  eminent  comedian  David  Rees  intro- 


LITERAR  Y  CURIOSITIES. 


151 


duced  it  as  a  gag  into  the  play  of  "The  Evil  Eye,"  and  made  it  famous 
throughout  England. 

"To  get  the  cheese"  means  to  receive  a  check  or  disappointment.  And 
this  IS  the  story  thereanent.  Beau  Biummel,  presuming  on  his  intimacy  with 
the  Prince  Regent  (afterwards  George  IV.),  used  to  take  the  liberty  of  arriving 
late  at  formal  dinners,  and  always  expected  that  the  party  would  await  his 
arrival.  But  the  Marquis  of  Lansdowne  refused  to  humor  this  whim,  and 
at  a  banquet  given  by  that  nobleman  the  Beau  was  crestfallen  to  find  when 
he  appeared  that  the  company  were  already  far  advanced  with  the  dinner. 
His  discomfiture  was  completed  when  the  host  blandly  asked  him  if  he 
would  have  some  cheese, — a  late  course. 

Chelsea,  Dead  as,  signifies  only  dead  so  far  as  action  and  usefulness  are 
concerned.  Chelsea  is  the  seat  of  the  famous  hospital  for  superannuated  sol- 
diers built  by  Sir  Christopher  Wren  in  the  reign  of  Charles  II.  A  person 
who  "gets  Chelsea" — in  other  words,  obtains  the  benefit  of  the  institution — is 
virtually  dead  to  the  service  and  to  the  world  at  large.  The  expression  "dead 
as  Chelsea"  is  said  to  have  been  first  made  use  of  by  a  grenadier  at  Fontenoy 
on  having  his  leg  carried  away  by  a  cannon-ball. 

Chestnut.  A  familiar  Americanism  for  an  old  story,  a  twice-told  tale.  Where 
an  Englishman  would  cry,  "Joe  Miller  !"  or  a  Frenchman,  "Connu  !"  an  Ameri- 
can says,  "  Chestnut !"  All  are  rude  but  effective  methods  of  preventing  a  con- 
versation from  degenerating  into  its  anecdotage.  The  American  word  arose 
some  time  in  1885  ;  but  it  did  not  sweep  the  country  till  a  year  or  two  later. 
Ho  when  etymologists  came  to  trace  its  history  they  found  themselves  utterly 
at  sea.  Many  conjectures  were  off'ered, — the  most  amazing  being  that  it  was 
a  corruption  of  the  words  "jest  not."  A  less  rococo  explanation  was  that  the 
dead  chestnuts  of  last  year,  like  Villon's  snows  of  yester-year,  suggested  its 
origin.  Any  one  who  has  prowled  in  the  forests  in  spring-time  knows  how 
often  a  chestnut  may  be  picked  up  which  is  fair  to  view,  but  which  on  exami- 
nation proves  to  be  about  as  valuable  as  a  Dead-Sea  apple.  Again,  there  was 
actually  said  to  be  a  repeater  of  outworn  jokes  named  Chestnut  who  had  been 
indicted  by  the  grand  jury  as  a  nuisance,  "  because  nobody  could  stand  his 
stories."  But  the  most  plausible  theory  was  that  advanced  by  Joe  Jefferson, 
who  attributed  the  introduction  of  the  word  to  William  Warren,  the  famous 
Boston  comedian  : 

"  There  is  a  melodrama,"  Mr.  Jefferson  said  to  a  reporter  of  the  Philadelphia  Press,  "  hut 
little  known  to  the  present  generation,  written  by  William  Dillon  and  called  '  The  Broken 
Sword.'  There  were  two  characters  in  it,— one  a  '  Captain  Zavier'  and  the  oiher  the  comedy 
part  of  '  Pablo.'  The  captain  is  a  sort  of  Baron  Munchausen,  and  in  telling  of  his  exploits 
says,  '  I^  entered  the  woods  of  CoUaway,  when  suddenly  from  the  thick  boughs  of  a  cork- 
fee '     Pablo  interrupt^;  him  with  the  words,  '  A  chestnut,  captain  ;  a  chestnut.'     '  Bah  !' 

replies  the  captain.  '  Booby,  I  say  a  cork-tree.'  '  A  chestnut,'  reiterates  Pablo.  '  I  should 
know  as  well  as  you,  having  heard  you  tell  the  tale  these  twenty-seven  times.'  William 
Warren,  who  had  often  played  the  part  of  '  Pablo,"  was  at  a  '  stag'  dinner  two  years  ago,  when 
one  of  the  gentlemen  present  told  a  story  of  doubtful  age  and  originality.  '  A  chestnut,'  mur- 
mured^ Mr.  Warren,  quoting  from  the  play.  '  I  have  heard  you  tell  the  tale  these  twenty-seven 
times.'  The  application  of  the  lines  pleased  the  rest  of  the  table,  and  when  the  party  broke 
up  each  helped  to  spread  the  story  and  Mr.  Warren's  commentary.  And  that,"  concluded 
Mr.  Jefferson,  "  is  what  I  really  believe  to  be  the  origin  of  the  word  '  chestnut.' " 

Chickens.     Butler,  in  "  Hudibras,"  ii.  3,  923,  has  the  lines, — 
To  swallow  gudgeons  ere  they're  catched. 
And  count  their  chickens  ere  they're  hatched. 
The  last  line  has  undoubtedly  popularized  the  familiar  expression  "to  count 
one's  chickens  before  they  are  hatched,"  meaning  to  reckon  beforehand  on  a 
successful  termination,  to  build  unfounded  andcipations.     Yet  the  expression 
was  known  before  Butler's  time,  and  may  be  a  reminiscence  of  .(Esop's  fable 


152  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

of  the  milkmaid.  Speculating  what  she  would  do  with  the  money  for  which 
she  sold  her  milk,  she  decided  to  put  it  into  eggs,  which,  when  hatched,  would 
lead  up  by  slow  gradations  to  fortune.  But  a  sudden  jar  toppled  the  milk- 
pail  off  her  head,  and  away  went  her  dream  of  raising  chickens. 

Child  is  father  of  the  man.  Wordsworth,  in  his  exquisite  little  lyric 
"  My  Heart  Leaps  Up,"  has  these  lines : 

The  child  is  father  of  the  man ; 
And  I  could  wish  my  days  to  be 
Bound  each  to  each  by  natural  piety. 

The  sentiment  is  a  commonplace.  But  the  epigrammatic  force  of  the  lines 
makes  them  Wordsworth's  own.  They  are  still  his  own,  though  Dryden  had 
already  said, — 

Men  are  but  children  of  a  larger  growth, 

AU/or  Love,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  i ; 

and 

By  education  most  have  been  misled. 
So  they  believe,  because  they  so  were  bred  : 
The  priest  continues  what  the  nurse  began. 
And  thus  the  child  imposes  on  the  man. 

Hind  and  Panther  ; 
though  Milton  had  said, — 

The  childhood  shows  the  man 
As  morning  shows  the  day. 

Paradise  Regained,  Book  iv.,  1.  220; 

though  Pope  had  said, — 

The  boy  and  man  an  individual  makes ; 
though  Lloyd  had  said, — 

For  men,  in  reason's  sober  eyes. 
Are  children  but  of  larger  size ; 

and  though  in  France  for  two  centuries  the  sentiment  had  been  recognized, — 
C'est  que  I'enfant  toujours  est  homme, 
Cest  que  I'homme  est  toujours  enfant. 

But,  indeed,  the  thought  finds  a  classic  prototype  in  "Tirocinium,"!.  149: 
"  The  man  approving  what  had  charmed  the  boy." 

Child.  'Tis  a  -wise  child  that  knows  his  own  father.  An  old  prov- 
erb, one  of  the  many  ways  in  which  the  popular  voice  expresses  its  misogy- 
nism.  The  Latin  form  is  well  known:  "Sapiens  est  filius  qui  novit  patrem," 
and,  though  these  words  cannot  be  traced  back  to  any  classic  source,  the  idea 
is  found  as  far  back  as  Homer's  Odyssey,  i.  215  :  "  Aly  mother  tells  me  that 
I  am  his  son,  but  I  know  not,  for  no  one  knows  his  own  father."  Shake- 
speare retains  the  meaning  of  the  proverb,  with  a  slight  change  in  the  order 
of  the  words,  when  he  makes  his  Lancelot  say,  "'Tis  a  wise  father  that  knows 
his  own  child"  {Merchant  of  Venice,  ii.  2).  Other  forms  of  the  same  idea  are, 
"The  mother  knows  best  if  the  child  be  like  the  father"  (English),  and  "The 
child  names  the  father,  the  mother  knows  him"  (Livonian).  The  French 
have  a  cheerful  maxim  for  children  who  are  not  wise :  "One  is  always  some- 
body's child,  and  that  is  a  comfort." 

Children  gathering  pebbles  on  the  shore.  In  "  Paradise  Regained," 
iv.  322-330,  Milton  has  this  simile  : 

\Vho  reads 
Incessantly  and  to  his  reading  brings  not 
A  spirit  and  judgment  equal  or  superior 
(And  what  he  brings  what  need  he  elsewhere  seek  ?) 
Uncertain  and  unsettled  still  remains. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  153 

Deep  versed  in  books,  and  shallow  in  himself. 
Crude  or  intoxicate,  collecting  toys 
And  trifles  for  choice  matters,  worth  a  sponge,— 
As  children  gathering  pebbles  on  the  shore. 

"  Paradise  Regained"  was  published  in  1671.  Sir  David  Brewster,  in  his 
"Memoirs  of  Sir  Isaac  Newton,"  vol.  ii.  p.  407,  records  that  a  few  days  before 
his  death  Newton  uttered  this  memorable  sentiment :  "  I  do  not  know  what  I 
may  appear  to  the  world,  but  to  myself  I  seem  to  have  been  only  like  a  boy 
playing  on  the  sea-shore,  and  diverting  myself  in  now  and  then  finding  a 
smoother  pebble  or  a  prettier  shell  than  ordinary,  while  the  great  ocean  of 
truth  lay  all  undiscovered  before  me."  Precisely  the  same  simile  may  be  found 
in  Justus  Lipsius  (see  Notes  and  Queries,  fourth  series,  viii.  321).  May  they 
not  all  be  referred  to  the  old  story  of  St.  Augustine  and  the  boy  on  the  sea- 
shore ?  Seeing  the  latter  trying  to  confine  a  little  pool  of  sea-water  within  a 
mud-bank  that  was  continually  being  washed  away  by  the  ocean,  the  holy  man 
found  in  this  an  object-lesson  teaching  that  the  finite  intellect  can  never  compass 
the  infinite  ocean  of  truth. 

Chiltern  Hundreds,  a  range  of  chalk  eminences  separating  the  counties 
of  Bedford  and  Hertford,  and  passing  through  the  middle  of  Bucks,  to  Henley 
in  Oxfordshire.  They  comprise  the  Hundreds  of  Burnham,  Uesborough,  and 
Stoke.  They  were  formerly  much  infested  by  robbers.  To  protect  the 
inhabitants  from  these  marauders,  an  officer  of  the  crown  was  appointed, 
under  the  name  of  the  '  Steward  of  the  Chiltern  Hundreds.'  The  duties  have 
long  ceased,  but  the  ofiice — a  sinecure  with  a  nominal  pay — is  still  retained. 
A  member  of  the  House  of  Commons  cannot  resign,  but  acceptance  of  office 
under  the  crown  vacates  his  seat.  Whenever,  therefore,  an  M.P.  wishes  to 
retire,  he  applies  for  this  office,  which  being  granted  as  a  matter  of  course,  his 
seat  in  Parliament  becomes  vacant.  He  then  immediately  resigns  the  steward- 
ship, so  that  it  may  be  vacant  for  the  next  applicant.  In  case  of  need  the 
stewardship  of  the  manors  of  East  Hundred,  Northshead,  and  Hempholme 
may  be  made  to  serve  the  same  purpose.  The  custom  dates  from  about  the 
middle  of  the  eighteenth  century.  Its  strict  legality  has  been  called  in  ques- 
tion, on  the  ground  that  it  is  not  an  office  of  the  kind  requisite  to  vacate  a 
seat;  but  the  custom  is  legitimated  by  a  long  line  of  precedence.  Only  once 
has  the  application  for  the  Chiltern  Hundreds  been  refused.  This  was  in 
1842.  Awkward  disclosures  had  been  made  before  an  investigating  committee 
of  the  House  of  Commons  in  regard  to  corrupt  compromises  made  with  the 
object  of  avoiding  inquiry  into  briberies  practised  in  the  elections  at  Reading 
and  other  boroughs.  The  member  from  Reading  at  once  applied  for  the 
Chiltern  Hundreds.  But  the  Chancellor  refused,  on  the  ground  that  he  would 
be  making  himself  a  party  to  the  questionable  transactions. 

Chin-music  (American  slang),  talk,  conversation,  especially  of  the  tedious 
and  boring  variety. 

"  You  see,  one  of  the  boys  has  passed  in  his  checks,  and  we  want  to  give  him  a  good  send- 
off,  and  so  the  thing  I'm  on  now  is  to  roust  out  somebody  to  jerk  a  little  chin-music  for  us  and 
waltz  him  through  handsome."— Mark  Twain  :  Rotighing  It,  p.  332. 

Chip  of  the  old  block,  one  who  reproduces  his  father's  peculiarities  or 
characterisdcs.  The  phrase  may  be  found  as  far  back  as  1626,  in  a  play  called 
"  Dick  of  Devonshire,"  reproduced  in  Bullen's  "  Old  Plays"  (ii.  60)  :  "  Your 
father  used  to  come  home  to  my  mother,  and  why  may  not  I  be  a  chippe  ot 
the  same  blocke,  out  of  which  you  two  were  cutte  ?" 

Chouse,  To,  colloquial  English,  to  cheat,  to  get  the  best  of.  The  term 
first  occurs  in  Ben  Jonson,  as  a  noun  : 


154  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

D.  What  do  you  think  of  me?  that  I  am  a  chiause? 

Face.  What's  that? 

D.  The  Turk  [who]  was  here.     As  one  would  say,  doe  you  thinke  I  am  a  Turke? 

Tlie  early  editors  of  Ben  Jonson  note  the  likeness  of  tiiis  term  to  the  Turkish 
VioxC^  chiaus,  a  "messenger."  But  it  was  not  till  1814  that  Gifford,  in  his  edi- 
tion of  Ben  Jonson,  inserted  a  note  to  the  effect  that  in  1609  Sir  Robert  Shir- 
ley sent  a  messenger,  or  a  chiaiis,  to  England  "as  his  agent  from  the  Grand 
Signior  and  the  Sophy  to  transact  some  preparatory  business,"  and  that  the 
agent  turned  out  to  be  a  rascal,  who  cheated  the  Turkish  and  Persian  mer- 
chants in  London  out  of  some  four  thousand  pounds  and  then  fled  before  Sir 
Robert's  arrival.  Hence,  "to  chiaus"  became  synonymous  with  "to  cheat." 
But  Dr.  Murray  states  that  no  trace  of  this  incident  has  been  found  outside  of 
Gifford's  note,  and  he  looks  upon  the  etymon  with  suspicion. 

Christian  can  die,  Howr  a.  Shortly  before  his  death  Addison  summoned 
his  rakish  step-son.  Lord  Warwick,  to  his  sick-bed.  "  I  have  sent  for  you," 
said  the  invalid,  "  that  you  may  see  how  a  Christian  can  die."  Tickell  alludes 
to  this  incident  in  the  famous  lines, — 

There  taught  us  how  to  live ;  and  (oh,  too  high 
The  price  for  knowledge  !)  taught  us  how  to  die. 

On  the  Death  0/ Addison. 

When  Marshal  Ney  rallied  a  few  of  his  followers  for  the  last  despairing 
charge  at  Waterloo,  he  cried  out,  "  Come  and  see  how  a  marshal  of  France 
can  die  !"  ("  Venez  voir  comment  meurt  un  marechal  de  France  !")  The  Cin- 
cinnati Commercial  furnished  another  curious  parallel  in  a  story  told  by  one 
Mrs.  Wilcox,  an  eye-witness  to  the  death  of  General  Andrew  Jackson  (1845). 
She  describes  it  as  a  scene  never  to  be  forgotten.  He  bade  them  all  adieu  in 
the  tenderest  terms,  and  enjoined  them,  old  and  young,  white  and  black,  to 
meet  him  in  heaven.  All  were  in  tears,  and  when  he  had  breathed  his  last 
the  outburst  of  grief  was  irrepressible.  The  congregation  at  the  little  Pres- 
byterian church  on  the  plantation,  which  the  general  had  built  to  gratify  his 
deceased  wife,  the  morning  service  over,  came  flocking  to  the  mansion  as  his 
eyes  were  closing  and  added  their  bewailment  to  the  general  sorrow.  Shortly 
after  this  mournful  event,  Mrs.  Wilcox  encountered  an  old  servant  in  the  kitchen 
who  was  sobbing  as  thougli  her  heart  would  break.  "Ole  missus  is  gone," 
she  brokenly  said  to  the  child,  "and  iiow  ole  massa's  gone,  dey's  all  gone,  and 
dey  was  our  best  frens.  An'  ole  massa,  not  satisfied  teachin'  us  how  to  live, 
has  now  teached  us  how  to  die."  The  poor,  unlettered  creature  did  not  know 
that  she  was  paraphrasing  one  of  the  most  beautiful  passages  in  Tickell's 
elegy  upon  the  "  Death  q^  Addison." 

Chronogram.  A  species  of  literary  trifling,  which  consists  in  an  inscrip- 
tion whose  numeral  letters  (printed  or  engraved  in  larger  type  than  the  others, 
in  order  to  distinguish  them)  will  form  a  date.  Books,  buildings,  medals,  etc., 
were  formerly  dated  in  this  manner.  Examples  will  render  the  process  more 
clear.     In  Albury  church  is  the  following  inscription  : 

resVrgent  eX  Isto  PVLVere  qVI  IdI  sepVLtI  DouMIVnt. 
Here  the  larger  letters  are  all  Roman  numerals,  and,  added  together,  the 
result  is  1646.  This  is  the  commonest  and  easiest  form  of  chronogram.  The 
only  limitation  is  that  every  letter  which  has  a  numerical  value  must  be  counted. 
In  Hebrew  and  Greek,  however,  where  every  letter  of  the  alphabet  has  a 
numerical  value,  even  this  limitation  disappears,  and  the  chronogrammatist  may 
arbitrarily  select  and  print  in  larger  type  the  letters  he  needs  for  his  purpose. 
A  more  difficult  form  of  Latin  chronogram  is  exemplified  in  the  following  on 
a  medal  of  Gustavus  Adolphus  : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  155 

ChrIstVs  DVX  ergo  trIVMphans. 
Here,  if  the  numerals  are  arranged  jn  the  order  of  their  relative  importance, 
we  have  MDCXVVVII,  which  is  a  clumsy  indication  of  the  date  1627,  being 
the  year  in  whicli  Gustavus  won  the  victory  so  commemorated.     Far  neater  is 
this  on  Queen  Elizabeth's  death  : 

My  Day  Closed  Is  In  Immortality. 
This,  indeed,  is  a  rare  example  of  what  is  Icnown  as  a  perfect  chronogram. 
Its  special  features  are  that  only  initials  are  used,  and  that  these  initials,  taken 
in  their  order,  make  the  date  MDCIII,  the  exact  Roman  equivalent  for  1603, 
the  year  in  which  Queen  Elizabeth  died.     To  be  sure,  a  carping  critic  might 
object  that  there  are  other  letters  in  the  sentence  whose  numerical  value  is 
ignored.     But  if  we  didn't  make  believe  a  little  bit,  such  a  thing  as  a  chrono- 
gram couldn't  exist  at  all.     An  even  greater  curiosity  is  this  example,  at  once 
a  chronogram  and  an  acrostic,  in  which  the  initial  letters  of  each  line  taken  in 
their  order  make  1805,  the  date  of  the  victory  at  Austerlitz : 
7I/ars  de  nos  bataillons  secondant  la  valeur, 
i?ans  les  champs  d' Austerlitz  exerga  sa  fureur 
Centre  nos  amis  gages  par  I'Angleterre  ; 
Ciel,  qui  fijtes  temoin  de  I'ardeur  des  Franqais, 
Couronnez  leur  victoire  en  nous  donnant  la  paix, 
^'enez  nous  consoler  des  malheurs  de  la  guerre. 
But,  at  the  best,  chronograms  are  a  puerile  form  of  amusement.     Historical 
students  have  a  constant  dread  of  them.     They  crop  up  in  the  most  awkward 
places.     You  have  a  sort  of  feeling,  when  you  are  looking  for  a  date  and  find 
only  a  chronogram,  that  it  is  something  which  will  go  off  unexpectedly  with  a 
loud  report.    And,  however  kindly  your  nature,  you  cannot  help  rejoicing  over 
the  fate  which   overtook  a  certain  offender, — INIichael    Stifelius,  a  Lutheran 
minister  at  Wiirtemberg.     He  thus  chronogrammatized  a  passage  in  John  xix. 
37,  "  VIDebVnt  In  qVeM  transflXerVnt"  ("They  shall  look  "on  him  whom 
they  pierced"),  and,  drawing  therefrom  the  augury  that  the  world  would  be 
destroyed  in   the  year   1533,  added  quite  arbitrarily  and  of  his   own  motion 
the  further   information  that  this  would   happen  on  the  3d  of  October,  at  ten 
o'clock  in  the  morning.     But  when  the  appointed  time. came  and   passed,  the 
excited  parishioners  pulled  the  prophet  from  his  pulpit,  dragged  him  through 
the  mire,  and  then  soundly  thrashed  him. 

The  earliest  known  chronogram  is  a  Hebrew  one  occurring  in  the  ancient 
scriptural  manuscript  known  as  the  "Codex  Kennicott  89,"  which  was  written 
by  Jacob  Halevy.  Here  the  Hebrew  letters  of  the  word  "  Law"  yield  the  date 
1208.  Another  old  codex,  known  as  *'  De  Rossi  826,"  is  dated  with  the  words 
"The  Redeemer  for  ever,"  which  give  a.d.  1280.  In  the  East  chronograms 
have,  ever  since  the  invention  of  the  art,  been  assiduously  cultivated,  and  even 
to  this  day  they  are  largely  and  conmionly  used  by  Persian  and  Arabic  scribes. 
On  the  tomb  of  the  poet  Yamini  there  is  a  verse  from  Hafiz  chronogrammati- 
cally  giving  the  date  of  his  death.  This  has  been  cleverly  translated  by  Mr, 
Bichnell  so  as  to  retain  the  chronogram  : 

I  halL  thee,  halL  thee  :  Into  gLory  CoMe. 
This  yields  1254  (year  of  the  Hegira),  equal  to  Anno  Domini  1S76.  Of  the 
Latin  chronogram  authentic  instances  do  not  date  from  earlier  than  the 
fifteenth  century,  which  we  may  take  to  be  about  the  time  when  the  chrono- 
gram was  imj^orted  from  the  East  to  the  West.  It  flourished  apace,  especially 
among  the  German  Reformers,  who  dated  most  of  their  tracts  in  this  way,  and 
the  Jesuits,  to  whose  peculiar  idiosyncrasy  it  commended  itself.  Perhaps  the 
greatest  of  all  chronogrammatists,  however,  was  a  certain  Andrea  del  Sobre, 
one  of  the  order  of  Friars  Preachers,  who  published  in  1686  an  extraordinary 


156  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

tmir  de  force,  a  book  of  Latin  verses  containing  sixteen  hundred  and  ninety 
different  anagrams  on  the  words  "  Salvator,  Genetrix,  Joseph,"  and  the  same 
number  of  chronograms,  with  heaven  knows  how  many  other  ingenuities  in 
the  way  of  acrostics,  word-squares,  etc. 

Mr.  James  Hilton,  an  enthusiastic  Englishman,  who  has  constituted  himself 

the  historian  of  chronograms  in  two  bulky  volumes  issued  respectively  in  1882 

and  1885,  speaks  feelingly  of  "  the  limited  extent  of  chronogram-making  in  this 

country  at  the  time  when  scholars  on  the  continent  were  much  devoted  to  the 

art  and  carried  it  to  such  a  state  of  excellence  as  was  never  reached  in  the 

universities  or  elsewhere  in  England."     Perhaps  Englishmen  had  something 

better  to  do.     Mr.  Hilton  goes  on  to  express  an  awful   hope  that  his  tomes 

will  stimulate  the  art,  and  "make  it  as  popular  in   our  time  as  it  was  in 

time  past."     And,  what  is  worse,  he  gives  us  reasons  for  the  hope.    Since  the 

appearance  of  his  first  volume,  he  tells  us  in  the  second,  there  has  been  a 

revival.     Buildings  have  been  dated  in  this  way.     One  clergyman,  who  had 

erected  a  fernery  out  of  the  profits  of  his  tracts  on  the  deceased  wife's  sister 

question,  dated  that  fernery  in  the  following  manner  (it  should  be  premised 

that  the  gentleman  was  a  bachelor,  and  his  initials  were  J.  E.  V.)  : 

My  Late  VVIfe's  sIster  bVILt  thIs  VVaLL 

bVt  I  In  trVth 

neVer  VVeD  any  wife  at  aLL, 

NOR  Wont  forsooth, 

saIth  J.  E.  V. 

Readers  who  will  take  the  trouble  to  extract  the  Roman  numerals  out  of  the 

above,  and  add  them  together,  will  find  they  amount  to  1884,  which  is  the 

desired  date. 

Church  ales,  also  known  as  Holy  or  Whitsun  ales,  were  merry-meetings 
held  in  mediaeval  England,  generally  at  Whitsuntide  and  under  the  shadow  of 
the  church,  for  the  purpose  of  raising  church  funds.     Some  weeks  prior  to  the 
festival  the  church-wardens  brewed  a  large  quantity  of  ale.     On  the  appointed 
day  all  the  people  of  the  neighborhood  gathered  together.     The  village  squire 
and  his  lady,  sometimes  accompanied  by  their  jester,  took  part  in  the  proceed- 
ings.    Bull-baiting,  bear-baiting,  morris-dancing,  games,  and  songs  were  in- 
dulged in.     In  "  Pericles,"  Shakespeare  says  of  a  song, — 
It  hath  been  sung  at  festivals, 
On  Ember  eves,  and  holy  ales. 
Church  —  God.     There  is  a  proverb  common  to  most  modern  languages 
which  is  found  in  these  words  in  Hey  wood  : 

The  neer  to  the  church,  the  further  from  God. 

Proverbs,  ch.  ix. 

The  French  say,  "  Qui  est  pres  de  I'eglise  est  souvent  loin  de  Dieu"  ("  He 
who  is  near  the  church  is  often  far  from  God").  Analogous  expressions  are 
the  Scotch  "They're  no  a'  saints  that  get  holy  water,"  the  Italian  "All  are 
not  saints  who  go  to  church,"  and  the  Spanish  "  The  devil  lurks  behind  the 
cross."  Still  another  form  of  the  same  root  idea  is  found  in  the  proverb  which 
Defoe  has  versified  in  the  familiar  lines, — 

Wherever  God  erects  a  house  of  prayer. 

The  devil  always  builds  a  chapel  there  ; 

And  'twill  be  found,  upon  examination. 

The  latter  has  the  largest  congregation, 

The  True-Born  Englishman,  Part  I.  ; 

which  is  also  found  in  Drummond  : 

God  never  had  a  chapel  but  there,  men  say, 
The  devil  a  chapel  hath  raised  by  some  wyles, 

Posthumous  Poems  : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  157 

in  Martin  Luther : 

For  where  God  built  a  church,  there  the  devil  would  also  build  a  chapel, —  Tahle-Talk, 
xvii.  ; 

and  in  Burton,  Herljert,  and  many  others.  It  is  curious  how  the  homely 
sense  of  the  proverb  finds  its  echo  in  the  mystic  lines  of  Emerson,  where 
Brahma  is  represented  as  saying, — 

But  thou,  meek  lover  of  the  good. 
Find  me,  and  turn  thy  back  on  heaven. 

Brahma. 

Cider,  All  talk  and  no.  An  American  colloquialism  which  finds  its 
English  equivalents  in  the  proverbs  "Much  cry  and  little  wool,"  "Much  ado 
about  nothing."  Scheie  de  Vere  suggests  that  it  originated  at  a  party  in 
Bucks  County,  Pennsylvania,  which  had  assembled  to  drink  a  barrel  of  supe- 
rior cider  ;  but,  politics  being  introduced,  speeches  were  made,  and  discussion 
ensued,  till  some  malcontents  withdrew  on  the  plea  that  it  was  a  trap  into 
which  they  had  been  lured,  politics  and  not  pleasure  being  the  purpose  of 
the  meeting,  or,  as  they  called  it,  "all  talk  and  no  cider."  {Amerjcattisms, 
P-  59 1- ) 

Cigar.  Littre  derives  this  word  from  cigar7-a,  the  Spanish  name  for  grass- 
hopper. When  the  Spaniards  first  introduced  tobacco  into  Spain  from  the 
island  of  Cuba,  in  the  sixteenth  century,  they  cultivated  the  plant  in  their 
gardens,  which  in  Spanish  are  ci\\&A  cigar  rales.  Each  grew  his  tobacco  in  his 
cigarral,  and  rolled  it  up  for  smoking,  as  he  had  learned  from  the  Indians  in 
the  West  Indies.  When  one  offered  a  smoke  to  a  friend,  he  could  say,  "  Es 
de  mi  cigarral"  ("  It  is  from  my  garden").  Soon  the  expression  came  to  be, 
"  Este  cigarro  es  de  mi  cigarral"  ("  This  cigar  is  from  my  garden").  And  from 
this  the  word  cigar  spread  over  the  world.  The  name  cigarral  for  garden  comes 
from  cigarra,  a  grasshopper,  that  insect  being  very  common  in  Spain,  and 
cigarral  meaning  the  place  where  the  cigarra  sings.  In  this  way  the  word 
cigar  comes  from  cigarra,  the  insect,  not  because  it  resembles  the  body  of  the 
grasshopper,  but  because  it  was  grown  in  the  place  it  frequents. 

Ciphers,  or  Cryptograms.  The  art  of  secret  correspondence  was  prac- 
tised from  a  remote  antiquity.  But  the  earliest  efforts  were  directed  rather 
to  concealing  the  message  itself  than  to  veiling  its  meaning.  Among  the 
ancients,  for  example,  a  manuscript  message  was  applied  to  a  sore  leg  instead 
of  a  bandage  ;  thin  leaves  of  lead  after  being  written  upon  were  rolled  up 
and  used  as  ear-rings  ;  a  bladder  inscribed  with  a  message  was  placed  in  a 
bottle  of  oil  so  as  to  fill  the  bottle.  Sometimes  a  slave  was  used  both  as 
writing-material  and  courier.  His  head  was  shaved,  the  message  seared  on 
his  head  with  a  hot  iron,  and  after  the  hair  had  grown  again  he  was  sent  on 
his  destination.  There  the  head  was  shaved  once  more,  and  the  message 
became  legible.  The  latter  method  had  its  advantages.  Intelligence  might 
thus  be  conveyed  upon  a  skull  too  thick  for  it  to  penetrate,  and  under  cir- 
cumstances not  very  rare  the  absolute  guarantee  against  penetration  afforded 
by  the  medium  would  be  recognized  as  its  greatest  merit.  But  its  objections 
are  obvious.  The  chief  point  to  be  considered  in  a  competitive  examination 
for  the  post  of  courier  would  be  the  speedy  growth  of  hair,  and  the  test  would 
necessarily  be  tedious  for  the  examining  board.  Then,  again,  when  a  State  is 
trembling  in  the  political  balance,  and  wire-pullers  are  anxiously  awaiting 
information  as  to  the  disposal  of  the  "sinews  of  politics,"  it  would  be,  to 
say  the  least,  dangerous  to  the  seizing  of  a  golden  opportunity  to  call  in  the 
barber,  force  the  growth  of  the  hirsute  bush,  despatch  the  bristling  Mercury, 
and  then  literally  read  his  bumps  with  the  aid  of  a  second  barber. 

The  scytale  of  the  Lacedaemonians,  so  called  from  the  staff  employed  in 

14 


158  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

constructing  and  deciphering  the  message,  seems  to  have  been  the  earliest 
approach  to  our  modern  cipher  despatches.  When  the  Spartan  ephors  wished 
to  forward  their  orders  to  their  commanders  abroad,  they  wound  slantwise 
a  narrow  strip  of  parchment  u]3on  the  scytale  so  that  the  edges  met  close 
together,  and  the  message  was  then  added  in  such  a  way  that  the  centre  of 
the  line  of  writing  was  on  the  edges  of  the  parchment.  When  unwound,  the 
scroll  consisted  of  broken  letters,  and  in  that  condition  it  was  despatched  to 
its  destination,  the  general  to  whose  hands  it  came  deciphering  it  by  means 
of  a  scytale  exactly  corresponding  to  that  used  by  the  ephors. 

Other  methods  were  gradually  invented.  By  the  fourth  century  before 
Christ,  iEneas  Tacticus,  a  Greek  writer  on  military  tactics,  is  said  by  Polybius 
to  have  collected  some  twenty  different  modes  of  writing,  understood  only  by 
those  in  the  secret.  Among  the  Romans  Julius  Caesar  made  use  of  a  cipher 
(still  resorted  to  occasionally)  which  consists  merely  in  the  transposition  of 
the  ordinary  letters  of  the  alphabet, — writing  d  for  a,  e  for  b,  and  so  on.  But 
the  plan  was  not  original  with  him.  It  had  already  been  in  use,  not  only 
among  the  Romans,  but  by  the  Greeks,  the  Syracusans,  the  Carthaginians, 
and  the  Jews.  Traces  of  it  may  even  be  found  in  the  Scriptures.  Thus,  in 
Jeremiah  xxv.  26,  the  prophet,  to  conceal  the  meaning  of  his  prediction  from 
all  but  the  initiated,  writes  Sheshach  instead  of  Babel  (Babylon)  ;  that  is, 
instead  of  using  the  second  and  twelfth  letters  of  the  Hebrew  alphabet  from 
the  beginning,  B,  b,  I,  he  uses  the  second  and  twelfth  from  the  end,  Sh, 
sh,  ch. 

In  the  Middle  Ages  the  art  of  secret  writing  had  developed  to  such  an  extent 
that  almost  every  sovereign  kept  by  him  an  expert  to  transmit  his  correspond- 
ence and  to  decipher  the  intercepted  despatches  of  his  enemies.  In  1500  the 
first  important  book  on  cryptography  was  published  by  John  Trithemius.  It 
is  entitled  "  Polygraphia,"  and  was  undertaken  at  the  desire  of  the  Duke  of 
Bavaria.  It  was  not  originally  intended  for  publication,  Trithemius  deeming 
that  it  would  be  contrary  to  the  public  interests  to  have  the  art  generally 
understood.  His  objections  were  subsequently  overruled.  Cryptography  by 
this  time  did  not  consist  merely  of  transposed  letters  :  these  were  early  found 
too  easy  of  solution.  Figures  and  other  characters  were  used  as  letters,  and 
with  them  ranges  of  numerals  were  combined  as  the  representatives  of  sylla- 
bles, parts  of  words,  words  themselves,  and  complete  phrases.  Under  this 
head  must  be  placed  the  despatches  of  Giovanni  Micheli,  the  Venetian  am- 
bassador to  England  in  the  reign  of  Queen  Mary, — documents  which  have 
only  of  late  years  been  deciphered.  Many  of  the  private  letters  and  papers 
from  the  pen  of  Charles  I.  and  his  queen,  who  were  adepts  in  the  use  of 
ciphers,  are  of  the  same  description.  A  favorite  system  of  that  monarch,  used 
by  hinr  during  the  year  1646,  was  made  up  of  an  alphabet  of  twenty-four 
letters,  which  were  represented  by  four  simple  strokes,  varied  in  length,  slope, 
and  position.  An  interest  attaches  to  this  cipher  from  the  fact  that  it  was 
employed  in  the  well-known  letter  addressed  by  the  king  to  the  Earl  of  Gla- 
morgan, in  which  the  former  made  concessions  to  theRoman  Catholics  of 
Ireland.  Much  of  Charles's  cipher  correspondence  fell  into  the  hands  of  the 
Roundheads  at  Naseby,  and  Dr.  John  Wallis,  the  famous  mathematician,  was 
employed  to  decipher  it. 

But  it  was  with  the  Revolution  of  1688  that  the  art  of  cipher-writing  was 
developed  along  the  lines  which  have  brought  it  to  its  present  state  of  perfec- 
tion. 

After  the  expulsion  of  James  II.,  the  Jacobites  racked  their  brains  inces- 
santly m  contriving  the  means  of  secret  communication.  They  resorted  to 
sympathetic  inks,  by  the  use  of  which  the  real  writing  remained  invisible, 
while  a  complex  cipher,  written  between  the  lines  in  black  ink,  but  which  had 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  159 

really  no  signification,  was  made  use  of  to  perplex  the  decipherers.  It  was  a 
device  of  this  description  that  was  made  use  of  by  Mary  of  Modena,  in  be- 
half of  James,  in  1690,  when  she  despatched  her  treasonable  papers  sewn  up 
in  the  buttons  of  her  two  spies,  Fuller  and  Crone.  Fuller,  a  traitor  to  the 
Jacobites,  carried  his  letters  at  once  to  William  at  Kensington.  Ostensibly 
they  contained  nothing  of  importance  ;  but  on  the  application  of  a  testing 
liquid,  words  of  the  gravest  import  became  legible.  Crone  was  sought  out, 
arrested,  tried,  and  condemned  to  death.  He  only  saved  his  life  by  a  confes- 
sion which  inculpated  the  guilty  parties. 

Another  device  was  that  of  writing  in  parables.  This  was  playing  the  game 
of  treason  at  a  cheap  rate  ;  because,  though  the  purport  of  such  letters  might 
be  easily  guessed,  the  crime  of  the  writer  remained  incapable  of  legal  proof. 
Macaulay,  in  his  History,  gives  some  samples  of  this  kind  of  correspondence. 
One  of  the  letters,  couched  in  the  "cant  of  the  law,"  ran  thus : 

There  is  hope  that  Mr.  Jackson  will  soon  recover  his  estate.  The  new  landlord  is  a  hard 
man,  and  has  set  the  freeholders  against  him.  A  little  matter  would  redeem  the  whole  prop- 
erty. The  opinions  of  the  best  counsel  were  in  Mr.  Jackson's  favor.  All  that  was  necessary 
was  that  he  should  himself  appear  in  Westminster  Hall.  The  final  hearing  ought  to  be  before 
the  close  of  Easter  Term. 

The  real  significance  of  this  is  too  obvious  to  escape  recognition  by  the 
simplest  reader ;  yet  it  is  not  actionable  in  law.  Mr.  Jackson,  of  course,  is 
James  H. ;  his  estate  is  the  kingdom  ;  the  new  landlord  is  William  ;  the  free- 
holders are  the  men  of  property,  and  so  on,  the  whole  being  an  invitation  to 
James  to  make  a  descent  on  the  coast  with  a  French  army  ("  a  little  matter") 
before  the  end  of  Easter. 

Another  device  of  that  time  was  one  which  confined  the  signification  of 
a  missive  to  certain  letters,  which  could  be  discovered  only  by  the  person 
who  had  the  key.  Thus,  if  it  was  required  to  inform  a  prisoner  that  his  ac- 
complice, on  being  tried  in  court,  had  not  betrayed  him,  it  might  be  done  by 
the  following  lines,  inserted  as  the  second  or  third  paragraph,  according  to 
agreement  beforehand  : 

I  have  but  time  for  a  few  words.  Rejoicing  that  you  are  so  well  treated,  I  hope  to  hear 
that  you  are  better.  Can  you  not  write  soon  ?  even  a  word  will  be  welcome  to  your  poor  wife. 
So  soon  as  I  hear  from  you  I  shall  communicate  with  your  friends.  If  Sarah  comes  to  Lon- 
don, I  may  accompany  her  to  see  you.  This  is  not  certain,  and  may  not  take  place.  1  know 
little  news,  though  much  is  stirring ;  but  I  live  much  secluded.  If  Harry  were  here,  he,  I 
warrant,  would  know  all.  Venn  came  last  night,  and  desired  to  be  remembered  to  you;  if 
good  wishes  could  set  you  free,  you  would  soon  be  at  liberty. 

The  secret  information  contained  in  the  above  paragraph  is  far  more  secure 
from  discovery  than  anything  written  in  cipher.  The  governor  of  the  jail, 
who  had  read  it,  would  in  most  cases  unhesitatingly  pass  it  to  his  prisoner 
without  suspicion  ;  but  the  prisoner,  who  knew  the  key,  would  also  in  a  few 
minutes  know,  by  simply  reading  and  putting  together  every  third  letter  after 
a  stop,  that  his  accomplice,  yo«<?j-,  j-aiV  «<7///?«^  on  his  trial  that  could  impli- 
cate him, — a  piece  of  information  which  the  governor  of  the  jail  would,  in  case 
of  treason,  be  the  last  person  to  impart. 

Then  came  the  invention  of  the  cipher,  which  its  originators  proudly  termed 
the  chiffre  indechiffrahle, — the  indecipherable  cipher.  It  was  an  extension  of 
the  principle  of  substituting  one  letter  of  the  alphabet  by  another.  A  new 
element  was  introduced  in  the  shape  of  a  key-word  that  was  known  only  to 
the  sender  and  the  recipient.  When  the  latter  received  the  message  he 
wrote  the  key-word  over  the  ciphers,  and  thus  introduced  new  and  bewildering 
complications. 

But  as  the  improvement  in  armor  plates  always  led  to  new  improvements  in 
guns,  so  the  cryptographical  armor  invariably  met  with  more  and  more  highly 
perfected  ordnance  to  riddle  it.     The  indecipherable  cipher  was  deciphered  as 


l6o  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

its  predecessors  had  been.  No  matter  how  complex  the  literary  puzzle  con- 
trived, men  could  be  found  who  were  always  ready  and  able  to  translate  it 
into  decipherable  language.  The  most  notable  instance  of  this  great  fact 
occurred  in  America  during  the  Presidential  muddle  of  1876.  Cipher  mes- 
sages transmitted  by  Mr.  Tilden's  agents  to  the  disputed  State  of  Oregon  iell 
into  the  hands  of  the  New  York  Trilmne.  Mr.  John  G.  R.  Hassard  set  him- 
self to  master  the  problem.  He  discovered  that  the  messages  contained 
overtures  of  bribery  and  corruption.  The  Tribune  published  the  explanation, 
and  though  the  messages  could  not  be  traced  directly  to  Mr.  Tilden,  but  only 
to  his  nephew,  Mr.  Pelton,  their  result  was  to  reduce  Mr.  Tilden  himself  to  a 
cipher. 

Another  evidence  of  the  dangers  of  cipher-writing  is  found  in  the  Agony 
column  of  the  London  Times.  Ingenious  spoil-sports,  or  parties  having  some 
personal  interest  at  stake,  are  continually  employing  their  leisure  time  in  dis- 
covering the  best-laid  plans  and  in  making  them  go  agley. 

To  take  a  single  instance  :  On  February  11,  1853,  the  following  mad-looking 
advertisement  appeared  in  the  Times: 

Cenerentola.  Jsyng  rd  mifwy  nx  Xnhp  mfaj  ywnji  yt  kwfrj  fs  jcugfitynts  Kwt  dtz  gzy 
hfssty  Xngjshj  nx  xfs  jxy  nk  yraf  ywzj  hfzxj  nx  sty  xzxujhyji ;  nk  ny  nx  tgg  xytwnjx  bngg 
gj  xnkyji  yt  ymj  gtyytr.     It  dtz  wjrjrgiw  tzw  htzns'x  knwxy  uwtutxnynts:  ymnsp  tk  ny. 

Mad  as  this  looks,  the  solution  is  easy,  once  the  key  is  discovered,  and  the 
key  is  very  simple.  Indeed,  it  is  only  the  old  system  of  Csesar,  substitutingy" 
for  a,  g  for  b,  and  so  on  in  sequence.  That  the  key  was  found  by  an  interested 
third  party  is  evidenced  by  the  following  advertisement  which  appeared  three 
days  later  in  the  same  column  : 

Cenerentola.  Until  my  heart  is  sick  have  I  tried  to  frame  an  explanation  for  you,  but 
cannot.  Silence  is  salest,  ii  tlie  true  cause  is  not  suspected  :  if  it  is,  all  stories  will  be  sifted 
to  the  bottom.     Do  you  remember  our  cousin's  first  proposition  ?     Think  of  it.     N  pstb  Dtz. 

Now,  this  is  simply  a  full  translation  of  the  first  advertisement  (correcting 
obvious  printers'  errors),  and  the  cryptogram  at  the  close,  unlocked  by  the 
same  key,  reveals  "  I  know  you."  A  bomb-shell  in  the  camp  this  must  have 
proved  !  The  originals  were  silenced  forever,  so  far  as  the  Times  column 
goes,  though  the  curtain  is  not  rung  down  there  until  the  third  party  has  this 
final  shot,  February  19  : 

Cenerentola.  What  nonsense  !  Your  cousin's  proposition  is  absurd.  I  have  given  an 
explanation, — the  true  one, — which  has  perfectly  satisfied  both  parties, — a  thing  which  silence 
never  could  have  effected.     So  no  more  such  absurdity. 

Ciphers  have  their  humors,  as  have  all  other  lines  of  human  effort.  A 
famous  example  was  the  mystification  practised  by  George  Canning  in  1826 
upon  Sir  Charles  Bagot,  English  minister  to  King  William  I.  of  Holland.  Can- 
ning was  then  Premier.  A  treaty  of  commerce  with  Great  Britain  was  pend- 
ing. Sir  Charles  received  a  despatch  one  day  at  the  Foreign  Office  while  he 
was  with  the  king  and  the  Dutch  minister  Falk.  He  begged  leave  to  open  it. 
Leave  was  immediately  granted,  but  he  found  that  the  letter  was  in  cipher.  As 
he  had  not  the  key  with  him,  he  could  do  nothing  else  than  ask  permission  to 
retire.     Going  home,  he  made  out  the  despatch  as  follows  : 

SEPARATE,  SECRET,  AND  CONFIDENTIAL. 
(/«  Cipher) 

Foreign  Office,  January  31,  1826. 
Sir, 

In  matters  of  commerce,  the  fault  of  the  Dutch 
Is  offering  too  little  and  asking  too  much. 
With  equal  advantage  the  French  are  content. 
So  we'll  clap  on  Dutch  bottoms  just  twenty  per  cent. 
Chorus. — Twenty  per  cent;  twenty  per  cent. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  l6l 

ENGLISH  CUSTOM-HOUSE  OFFICERS  AND  FRENCH  DOUANIERS. 

English — We'll  clap  on  Dutch  bottoms  just  twenty  per  cent.  ; 
French — Vous  frapperez  Falk  avec  twenty  per  cent. 
I  have  no  other  commands  from  His  Majesty  to  convey  to  Your  Excellency  to-day.     I  am 
with  great  truth  and  respect,  sir.  Your  Excellency's  most  obedient  humble  servant, 

(Signed)  George  Canning. 

H.  E.  the  Rt.  Hon'ble  Sir  Charles  Bagot,  G.C.B.,  The  Hague. 

Utterly  unable  to  make  out  what  this  could  possibly  mean,  poor  Sir  Charles 
Bagot  and  his  secretary  of  legation  worried  over  it  for  days,  and  got  into  a 
correspondence  with  Mr.  Canning,  who  calmly  refused  to  give  them  any  light, 
until  in  a  happy  moment  it  dawned  upon  Sir  Charles  that  the  liveliest  of  Pre- 
miers had  tossed  off  a  grave  piece  of  fiscal  diplomacy  into  facile  verse  of  the 
sort  which  had  made  the  "  Anti-Jacobin"  famous. 

But  the  greatest  of  all  jokes,  great  because  so  sublimely  unconscious,  is  the 
"Great  Cryptogram"  which  Ignatius  Donnelly  claimed  to  have  discovered  in 
the  works  of  Shakespeare,  proving  that  Shakespeare  did  not  write  Shake- 
speare, and  that  the  real  author  had  laboriously  woven  into  the  text,  through 
a  complicated  cipher,  the  true  facts  of  the  case  in  good  nineteenth-century 
English  modified  by  a  sufficient  sprinkling  of  recent  Americanisms. 

The  game  was  much  like  that  which  used  to  be  played  with  the  number  of 
the  Beast,  of  which  Macaulay  said,  "If  I  leave  out  T  in  Thomas,  B  in  Bab- 
ington,  and  M  in  Macaulay,  and  then  spell  my  name  in  Arabic,  I  have  not 
the  slightest  doubt  that  I  can  prove  myself  conclusively  to  be  the  Beast."  It 
finds  another  parallel  in  the  fifth  fit  of  the  "  Hunting  of  the  Snark,"  where  the 
Butcher,  even  before  Mr.  Donnelly  had  published  his  book,  described  to  the 
Beaver  the  chief  features  of  the  Donnelly  system  in  the  following  lines  : 

Taking  Three  as  the  subject  to  reason  about, — 

A  convenient  number  to  state, — 
We  add  Seven  and  Ten,  and  then  multiply  out 

By  One  Thousand  diminished  by  Eight. 

The  result  we  proceed  to  divide,  as  you  see. 

By  Nine  Hundred  and  Ninety  and  Two, 
Then  subtract  Seventeen,  and  the  answer  must  be 

Exactly  and  perfectly  true. 

Among  the  many  good  skits  to  which  "The  Great  Cryptogram"  gave  rise 
the  best  was  produced  by  J.  G.  Pyle,  author  of  a  pamphlet  called  "The  Little 
Cryptogram,"  who,  by  the  application  of  Donnelly's  own  system,  discovered 
in  the  play  of  "  Hamlet"  the  following  prophetic  words  : 

Don  nill  he,  the  author,  politician,  and  mountebank,  will  work  out  the  secret  of  this  play. 

To  conclude.  Here  is  a  puzzle  which  was  inscribed  over  the  tables  of  the 
Decalogue  in  a  country  church  and  is  said  to  have  remained  undiscovered  for 
two  hundred  years.  But  any  reader,  who  feels  that  he  can  conscientiously 
expend  time  on  such  an  object,  may  solve  it  at  his  leisure.     It  runs  thus : 

Prsvryprfctranvrkpthsprcptstn. 

We  will  only  drop  the  friendly  hint  that  a  vowel,  and  the  same  vowel  in 
every  case,  is  to  be  inserted  between  every  consonant. 

Circumstances  over  ■which  I  have  no  control.  According  to  George 
Augustus  Sala  ("  Echoes  of  the  Week,"  London  Illustrated  News,  August  23, 
1884),  this  phrase,  "one  of  the  most  familiar  in  modern  English,"  was  first 
used  by  the  Duke  of  Wellington  "  with  reference  to  some  business  complica- 
tions in  which  his  son  was  mixed  up,  about   1839  or  1840  :  '  F.  M.  the  Duke 

of  Wellington  presents  his  compliments  to  Mr. ,  and  declines  to  interfere 

in  circumstances  over  which  he  has  no  control.'"     Charles  Dickens  gave 

greater  currency  to  the  expression  by  putting  it  into  the  mouth  of  Wilkins 

14* 


l62.  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Micawber  :  "Circumstances  beyond  my  individual  control  have,  for  a  consid- 
erable time,  effected  a  severance  of  that  intimacy,"  etc. — David  Copperfield, 
ch.  XX.  (1S49). 

Citizen  of  the  -world, — i.e.,  a  cosmopolite,  one  who  says  with  William 
Lloyd  Garrison,  "  My  country  is  the  world  ;  my  countrymen  are  mankind." 
The  term,  which  Goldsmith  has  taken  as  the  title  of  a  famous  series  of  papers 
feigned  to  be  written  by  an  imaginary  traveller  of  cosmopolitan  views,  dates 
back  to  Socrates,  who  claimed  that  "  he  was  not  an  Athenian  or  a  Greek,  but 
a  citizen  of  the  world"  (Fluiakch:  Ott  Banishment).  Diogenes  Laertius 
dttributes  the  same  phrase  to  his  namesake  Diogenes.  Thomas  Paine,  in 
"Rights  of  Man,"  chap,  v.,  anticipated  Garrison's  phrase.  "My  country,"  he 
pays,  "is  the  world,  and  my  religion  is  to  do  good."  The  history  of  man 
phows  the  gradual  evolution  of  society  from  the  family  to  the  tribe,  the  tribe 
to  the  city,  the  city  to  the  nation,  and  with  the  growth  of  man's  sympathies 
and  intellectual  range  he  may  eventually  realize  the  dream  of  Tennyson  : 

For  I  dipt  into  the  Future,  far  as  human  eye  could  see, 
Saw  the  Vision  of  the  world,  and  all  the  wonder  that  would  be  ; 
******** 
Till  the  war-drum  throbbed  no  longer,  and  the  battle-flags  were  furled 
In  the  Parliament  of  man,  the  Federation  of  the  world. 

Lochsley  Hall. 

Civis  Romanus  sum  (L.,  "  I  am  a  Roman  citizen").  The  proud  boast  of 
Xh^  enfranchised  citizens  of  Rome.  Caracalla  in  A.D.  213  destroyed  its  special 
moaning  by  extending  the  privileges  of  citizenship  to  all  the  subjects  of  Rome. 
There  is  a  famous  passage  in  Cicero's  sixth  oration  against  Verres,  where  he 
instances  the  case  of  Publius  Gavius,  whom  Verres  had  caused  to  be  beaten 
with  rods  in  the  forum  of  Messina:  "  No  groan  was  heard,  no  cry  amid  all  his 
pain  and  between  the  sound  of  the  blows,  except  the  words,  '  I  am  a  Roman 
citizen.'  "  A  memorable  application  of  the  phrase  in  modern  times  was  made 
by  Lo/d  Palmerston  in  the  House  of  Commons,  June  25,  1850  The  foreign 
policy  of  Lord  John  Russell's  administration  was  under  discussion.  Palmer- 
ston, then  Secretary  of  Foreign  Affairs,  upheld  that  policy,  especially  in  re- 
gard to  the  protection  afforded  to  British  subjects  abroad,  and  challenged  the 
verdict  of  the  House  on  the  question  "  whether,  as  the  Roman  in  days  of  old 
held  himself  free  from  indignity  when  he  could  say,  Civis  Romanus  sum,  so 
also  a  liritish  subject,  in  whatever  land  he  may  be,  shall  feel  confident  that 
the  watchful  eye  and  strong  arm  of  England  will  protect  him  against  injustice 
and  wrong" 

Claimaats,  Literary.  Every  now  and  then  the  world  is  entertained  or 
perplexed  by  a  controversy  over  the  authorship  of  some  literary  performance. 
It  may  be  a  single  poem  or  a  novel  that  has  shot  into  prominence  and  is 
fought  for  by  a  dozen  claimants  in  the  present,  or  it  may  be  a  great  literary 
reputation  of  the  past  that  is  assailed  by  hardy  explorers  who  imagine  they 
have  discovered  that  the  owner  of  that  reputation  was  an  impostor  or  even  a 
myth.  Homer  has  been  assailed  as  a  myth,  Shakespeare  as  an  impostor. 
But  the  controversies  on  these  two  subjects  are  too  well  known  to  need  more 
than  the  merest  reference.  One  cannot  even  do  more  than  call  passing  atten- 
tion to  the  very  clever  skits  in  which,  by  reasoning  closely  analogous  to  that  of 
the  Baconists,  Swinburne  jiroved  that  Darwin  was  the  real  author  of  Tenny- 
son's poems,  and  an  anonymous  contributor  to  Blackwood's  Magazitie  demon- 
strated that  Herbert  Spencer  wrote  the  novels  attributed  to  Dickens. 

In  the  year  1856  a  now-forgotten  controversy  on  the  origin  of  the  Waverley 
Novels  occupied  the  attention  of  the  literary  world.  A  certain  Mr.  William 
John  Fitz-Patrick  contributed  to  Notes  and  Queries,  and  afterwards  republished 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  163 

in  pamphlet  form,  a  labored  attempt  to  prove  that  not  Sir  Walter  Scott  but 
his  brother  Thomas  (assisted  by  Mrs.  Thomas)  was  the  author  of  the  major 
part  of  them,  and  that  Walter's  task  had  been  mainly  to  lick  them  into 
shape. 

He  based  his  theory  on  the  following  facts.  That  the  rapidity  with  which 
these  novels  were  issued  from  the  press,  especially  taken  in  connection  with 
the  fact  that  Sir  Walter  was  contemporaneously  engaged  in  other  literary 
work,  is  destructive  of  the  hypothesis  that  they  were  written  by  Scott  alone ; 
that  "Guy  Mannering,"  for  example,  could  never  have  been  written,  though 
it  might  have  been  transcribed,  in  a  fortnight ;  that  Thomas's  comrades  in  the 
army  (he  was  paymaster  of  the  Seventieth  Regiment,  then  stationed  in  Canada) 
agreed  that  they  had  often  seen  the  writing-desks  of  both  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Thomas 
Scott  littered  with  manuscripts  of  their  own  composition  ;  that  the  minds  of 
both  were  stored  with  old  Scotch  traditions,  anecdotes,  and  historical  remi- 
niscences ;  and  that  the  Quebec  Herald  oi  July  15,  1S20,  published  selections 
from  the  correspondence  of  a  literary  gentleman  in  Canada  (unnamed),  among 
which  appeared  the  following  paragraph  :  "  With  respect  to  these  new  publi- 
cations, 'Rob  Roy,'  etc.,  I  have  no  hesitation  in  saying  I  believe  them  to  be 
the  production  of  the  Scotts.  I  say  the  Scotts,  because  Mr.  Thomas  Scott 
(who  wrote  the  principal  part  of  them)  was  often  assisted  by  Mrs.  Scott ;  and 
the  works  were  generally  revised  by  his  brother  Walter  before  going  to  press. 
'  The  Antiquary'  I  can  answer  for  particularly,  because  Mr.  Thomas  Scott 
told  me  himself  that  he  wrote  it,  a  very  few  days  after  it  appeared  in  this 
country,"  To  tell  the  truth,  the  case  was  flimsy  enough.  But  William  John 
backed  it  up  by  referring  the  reader  to  the  following  passage  in  a  letter  from 
Sir  Walter  Scott  to  his  brother,  written  during  the  autumn  of  1814: 

Send  me  a  novel,  intermixing  your  exuberant  and  natural  humor  with  any  incidents  and 
descriptions  of  scenery  you  may  see, — particularly  with  characters  and  traits  of  manners. 
I  will  give  it  all  the  cobbling  that  is  necessary,  and,  if  you  do  but  exert  yourself,  I  have 
not  the  least  doubt  it  will  be  worth  ^^5°°  '•  a"d,  to  encourage  you,  you  may,  when  you  send 
the  manuscript,  draw  on  me  for  ^loo  at  fifty  days'  sight,  so  that  your  labors  will  at  any  rate 
not  be  quite  thrown  away.  You  have  more  fun  and  descriptive  talent  than  most  people ; 
and  all  that  you  want — i.e.,  the  mere  practice  of  composition — I  can  supply,  or  the  devil's  in  it. 
Keep  this  matter  a  dead  secret. 

But,  after  all,  the  evidence  of  the  letter  amounts  to  this  :  that  Sir  Walter 
had  pressed  his  brother  to  write  a  novel.  Indeed,  he  says  as  much  in  the 
general  preface  to  his  works,  where  he  takes  note  of  this  very  rumor  "as- 
cribing a  great  part,  or  the  whole,  of  these  novels  to  the  late  Thomas  Scott," 
characterizes  it  as  one  that  was  as  unfounded  as  various  other  rumors,  yet 
which  "had,  nevertheless,  some  alliance  to  probability,  and  indeed  might 
have  proved  in  some  degree  true."  He  then  tells  how  he  proposed  that  his 
brother  should  write  a  novel,  and  how  the  latter  had  even  sent  him  a  sketch 
of  the  plot,  but  had  been  forced  by  ill  health  to  abandon  the  enterprise. 
"He  never,  I  believe,  wrote  a  single  line  of  the  projected  work." 

This  statement  ought  to  be  conclusive.  Indeed,  the  world  has  accepted  it 
as  such.  Mr.  William  John  Fitz-Patrick's  attempt  to  calumniate  the  memory 
of  one  of  the  most  frank  and  genuine  men  who  ever  breathed  proved  a  nine 
days'  wonder,  and  was  forgotten  in  a  fortnight. 

A  preposterous  claim  was  made  by  George  Cruikshank  that  he  was  the  real 
originator  of  "  Oliver  Twist,"  that  he  had  worked  out  the  main  plot  in  a  series 
of  etchings,  and  that  Dickens  had  illustrated  him,  and  not  he  Dickens.  This 
story  first  appeared  in  print  in  R.  Shelton  Mackenzie's  "  Life  of  Dickens,"  a 
catchpenny  work  published  in  Philadelphia,  and  was  alluded  to  in  the  first 
volume  of  Forster's  biography  as  "  a  wonderful  story  originally  promulgated 
in  America  with  a  minute  conscientiousness  and  particularity  of  detail  that 


1 64  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

might  have  raised  the  reputation  of  Sir  Benjamin  Backbite.  .  .  .  The  dis- 
tinguished artist  whom  it  calumniates  by  fathering  its  invention  upon  him, 
either  not  conscious  of  it  or  not  caring  to  defend  himself,  has  been  left  unde- 
fended from  the  slander."  Then  Cruikshank  rose  in  his  wrath,  and  came  to 
the  defence  of  Dr.  Mackenzie  in  a  letter  to  the  London  Times,  avowing  that 
ever  since  the  publication  of  "  Oliver  Twist,"  and  even  when  it  was  in  progress, 
he  had,  in  private  society  when  conversing  upon  such  matters,  always  explained 
that  the  original  ideas  and  characters  emanated  from  him.  Yet,  after  all,  his 
whole  statement  was  simply  that  he  had  described  the  character  of  Fagin  to 
Dickens,  who  took  it  up  and  made  what  we  see  of  it.  But  the  whole  merit  of 
the  character,  no  matter  where  the  hint  was  received,  depends  upon  the  way  in 
which  it  was  made  to  move,  and  talk,  and  act,  by  the  novelist.  It  is  not  the 
mere  outline,  which  would  have  done  equally  well  in  any  hands,  but  the  filling 
up  of  the  outline,  which  gives  to  it  all  that  is  really  interesting.  The  theme 
might  have  been  treated  by  a  hundred  different  writers,  and  the  result  would 
have  varied  in  merit  from  the  merest  lay-figure  up  to  the  most  complete  and 
admirable  embodiment  of  genius.  But,  in  fact,  the  excellent  Cruikshank 
allowed  his  vanity  to  urge  him  into  all  sorts  of  harmless  absurdities.  In  "A 
Popgun  fired  ofT  by  George  Cruikshank,"  he  even  insisted  that  he  had  origi- 
nated the  pattern  of  a  military  hat  worn  by  the  Russian  soldiers.  Having 
described  his  own  model,  he  adds,  "  The  Russian  soldiers,  I  find,  wear  a  hat 
something  of  this  shape  now ;  and  no  doubt  they  saw  my  pattern  and  stole 
my  idea." 

A  more  plausible  claim  to  the  real  authorship  of  Dumas's  most  famous 
works,  including  "  Monte-Cristo"  and  "The  Three  Guardsmen,"  was  put 
forward  by  one  M.  Auguste  Maquet,  who  was  avowedly  one  of  Dumas's  assist- 
ants, and  undoubtedly  had  a  share  in  their  composition.  But,  like  the  other 
assistants,  he  simply  worked  under  the  direction  of  the  creative  and  governing 
mind.  When  any  of  these  underlings  attempted  original  work  they  produced 
only  the  most  mediocre  of  novels.  It  is  monstrous  to  pretend  that  men  dull 
in  their  own  works,  and  brilliant  only  in  his,  have  a  right  to  share  in  the  fame 
of  the  great  story-teller,  however  much  they  may  have  helped  him  or  con- 
tributed to  his  success.  It  is  inconceivable  that  the  deprivation  of  all  personal 
honor  or  reward  should  have  inspired  or  elevated  genius  which  slackened  its 
wings  at  once  when  the  question  became  personal.  But  this  question  is  con- 
sidered more  at  length  under  the  head  of  Collaboration. 

While  the  "  Scenes  of  Clerical  Life"  were  passing  through  Blackwood's 
Magazine  and  drawing  attention  to  the  fact  that  in  "  George  Eliot"  a  new 
genius  had  arisen,  the  inhabitants  of  Nuneaton  and  its  neighborhood  were 
perplexed  and  astonished  to  find  unmistakable  portraits  of  their  own  town- 
people  in  Amos  Barton,  in  Mr.  Pilgrim,  and  in  other  characters.  Clearly,  none 
but  a  native  could  have  hit  off  these  likenesses.  A  table-rapper,  being  appealed 
to,  spelt  out  the  name  of  the  great  unknown  as  Liggers.  There  was  no  Liggers 
in  the  town,  but  there  was  a  Liggins,  a  broken-down  gentleman  of  some  small 
literary  pretensions.  Though  at  first  he  was  somewhat  coy,  he  did  not  reject 
the  honors  thrust  upon  him.  At  last  he  boldly  accepted  them.  With  the 
appearance  of  "  Adam  Bede"  his  fame  waxed  greater  than  ever.  A  deputation 
of  dissenting  parsons  went  out  to  see  him,  and  found  him  washing  his  slop- 
basin  at  the  pump.  To  explain  his  indigent  circumstances  in  the  very  hour 
of  his  prosperity,  he  declared  that  he  got  no  profit  out  of  his  works,  but  freely 
gave  them  Ko  Blackwood.  This  was  voted  a  shame.  He  was  lionized  in  the 
town,  feted  at  parties  ;  a  subscription  was  started  for  him.  Then  the  real 
George  Eliot  deemed  it  was  time  to  interfere,  and  sent  a  letter  to  the  Times 
denying  Mr.  Liggins's  authorship.  But  it  was  some  time  before  the  myth  was 
killed.     There  are  several  references  to  Mr.  Liggins  in  George  Eliot's  Life 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  165 

by  Cross.  Here  is  one  of  the  most  interesting,  the  more  so  that  it  refers  to  a 
subject  we  have  already  broached  :  "  I  dare  say  some  '  investigator'  of  the 
Bracebridge  order  will  arise  after  I  am  dead  and  revive  the  story,  and  perhaps 
posterity  will  believe  in  Liggins.  Why  not?  A  man  a  little  while  ago  wrote 
a  pamphlet  to  prove  that  the  Waverley  Novels  were  chiefly  written,  not  by 
Walter  Scott,  but  by  Thomas  Scott  and  his  wife  Elizabeth, — the  main  evi- 
dence being  that  several  people  thought  Thomas  cleverer  than  Walter,  and 
that  in  the  list  of  the  Canadian  regiment  of  Scots  to  which  Thomas  belonged 
many  of  the  names  of  the  Waverley  Novels  occurred, — among  the  rest  Monk, 
— and  in  '  Woodstock'  there  is  a  General  Monk  /" 

A  more  successful  impersonator,  because  she  remained  undiscovered  until 
her  death  by  the  neighborhood  on  which  she  had  imposed,  was  a  certain  Mrs. 
S.  S.  Harris  (auspicious  name  !),  who  in  1875  established  herself  in  the  little 
town  of  Hudson,  Wisconsin.  She  claimed  to  have  come  from  New  York,  and 
to  be  the  Mrs.  Sidney  Harris  who  had  written  "  Rutledge,"  "  Sutherlands,"  and 
other  novels.  She  was  very  eccentric,  affected  sporting  tastes,  and  liked  to 
drive  fast  horses  ;  but  these  traits  were  probably  looked  upon  as  the  natural 
accompaniments  of  genius,  and  she  easily  established  for  herself  a  good  social 
standing,  and  in  fact  was  lionized  as  a  literary  celebrity.  One  day  when 
out  driving  with  some  friends  she  suddenly  died  of  heart-disease,  and  the 
publication  of  her  obituary  in  the  local  paper  exposed  the  fraud. 

The  would-be  filchers  of  others'  laurels  seem,  indeed,  to  flourish  apace  in 
America.  Whenever  a  new  poem  achieves  any  great  popularity  in  this 
country  it  raises  a  host  of  claimants,  especially  if  it  be  juiblished  anony- 
mously. Mrs.  Akers  Allen's  "Rock  me  to  Sleep,  Mother,"  William  Allen 
Butler's  "  Nothing  to  Wear,"  Dr.  Muhlenberg's  "I  would  not  Live  Alway," 
J.  L.  McCreery's  "There  is  no  Death,"  Will  Carleton's  "Betsey  and  I  are 
out,"  Homer  Greene's  "  What  my  Lover  said,"  and  J.  W.  Watson's  "  Beauti- 
ful Snow,"  have  all  been  the  subjects  of  fierce  controversy.  The  last-named 
was  fought  for,  either  in  person  or  vicariously,  by  a  dozen  people.  The  friends 
or  admirers  of  Elizabeth  Akers  Allen,  Dora  Thorne,  and  Henry  Faxon  per- 
sistently brought  forward  their  names  as  claimants,  in  spite  of  their  equal 
persistence  in  denial.  Nay,  an  unknown  dead  woman,  evidently  a  suicide, 
whose  body  was  found  in  the  Ohio  River  with  a  copy  of  the  poem  printed  but 
unsigned  upon  her  person,  was  promptly  baptized  "The  Beautiful  Floater  in 
the  Ohio"  and  heralded  throughout  the  country  as  the  real  author  of  "  Beau- 
tiful Snow."  Of  the  active  claimants  the  most  energetic  and  irrepressible  was 
one  Richard  H.  Chandler,  whose  story  ran  that  Mr.  Watson  had  filched  the 
poem  from  him  in  revenge  for  a  practical  joke,  and  had  published  it  in  Har- 
per's Weekly.  (It  did,  in  fact,  make  its  first  known  appearance  in  that  paper 
on  November  8,  1858.)  He  naively  added  that  the  reason  he  had  never  pub- 
lished any  other  poem  akin  to  "  Beautiful  Snow"  was  because  "  the  publishers 
sent  'em  all  back  to  him."  A  certain  William  Allen  Silloway  insisted  that  he 
had  published  the  poem  in  a  New  England  journal  four  years  prior  to  its 
appearance  in  Harper's  Weekly,  but  that  the  files  of  that  paper  were  inacces- 
sible. He  had  been  inspired  to  its  composition  by  the  degradation  through 
drink  of  his  wife,  who  was  "a  niece  of  Millard  Fillmore,"  and  who  was  found 
dead  by  a  policeman  in  a  snow-drift  in  Leonard  Street  in  the  winter  of  1854. 

William  Cullen  Bryant,  who  made  a  careful  examination  into  all  the  evidence 
attainable,  came  to  the  conclusion  that  Mr.  Watson  was  the  true  author,  and 
the  world  has  generally  abided  by  his  verdict. 

The  most  eager  of  the  claimants  who  disputed  with  Mrs.  Allen  the  author- 
ship of  "  Rock  me  to  Sleep,  Mother,"  was  one  Alexander  M.  W.  Ball.  His 
pretensions  were  summed  up  in  a  pamphlet,  nominally  written  by  O.  W. 
Morse,  of  Cherry  Valley,  New  York,  which  was  published  in    1867.     The 


1 66  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

pamphlet  was  reviewed  with  much  humor  by  W.  D.  Howells  in  the  Atlantic 
for  August  of  that  year  : 

"  It  appears  from  this  and  other  sources,"  says  the  reviewer,  "that  Mr.  Ball 
is  a  person  of  independent  proiserty,  and  a  member  of  the  New  Jersey  Legis- 
lature, who  has  written  a  great  quantity  of  verses  first  and  last,  but  has  become 
all  but  'proverbial'  in  his  native  State  for  his  carelessness  of  his  own  poetry: 
so  that  we  suppose  people  say  there  of  a  negligent  parent,  '  His  children  are 
as  unkempt  as  the  Hon.  Alexander  M.  W.  Ball's  poems,'  or  of  a  heartless 
husband,  '  His  wife  is  about  as  well  provided  for  as  Mr.  Ball's  muse.'  Still, 
Mr.  Ball  is  not  altogether  lost  to  natural  feeling,  and  he  has  not  thrown  away 
all  his  poetry,  but  has  even  so  far  shown  himself  alive  to  its  claims  upon  him 
as  to  read  it  now  and  then  to  friends,  who  have  keenly  reproached  him  with 
his  indifference  to  fame.  To  such  accidents  we  owe  the  preservation  in  this 
pamphlet  of  several  Christmas  carols  and  other  lyrics,  tending  to  prove  that 
Mr.  Ball  could  have  written  '  Rock  me  to  Sleep'  if  he  had  wished,  and  the 
much  more  important  letters  declaring  that  he  did  write  it  and  that  the  sub- 
scribers of  the  letters  heard  him  read  it  nearly  three  years  before  its  publica- 
tion by  Mrs.  Akers.  .  .  .  We  do  not  think  that  the  writers  of  these  letters 
intend  deceit ;  but  we  know  the  rapture  with  which  people  listen  to  poets 
who  read  their  own  verses  aloud,  and  we  suspect  that  these  listeners  to  Mr. 
Ball  were  carried  too  far  away  by  their  feelings  ever  to  get  back  to  their  facts. 
They  are  good  folks,  but  not  critical,  we  judge,  and  might  easily  mistake  Mr. 
Ball's  persistent  assertion  for  an  actual  recollection  of  their  own.  We  think 
them  one  and  all  in  error,  and  we  do  not  believe  that  any  living  soul  heard 
Mr.  Ball  read  the  disputed  poem  before  iS6o,  for  two  reasons:  Mrs.  Akers 
did  not  write  it  before  that  time,  and  Mr.  Ball  could  never  have  written  it 
after  any  number  of  trials.  .  .  .  The  verses  given  in  this  pamphlet  would 
invalidate  Mr.  Ball's  claim  to  the  authorship  of  Mrs.  Akers's  poem,  even  though 
the  Seven  Sleepers  swore  that  he  rocked  them  to  sleep  with  it  in  the  time  of 
the  Decian  persecution." 

Clameur  de  Haro,  an  old  Norman  custom  which  still  survives  in  the 
English  island  of  Jersey.  Haro  is  held  to  be  the  abbreviation  of  the  words 
"Ah  Rollo,"  and  the  custom  is  said  to  have  been  instituted  by  Duke  RoUo 
of  Normandy,  who  gave  to  his  people  a  personal  appeal  to  himself  and  his 
successors  in  certain  cases  of  wrong.  William  the  Conqueror  brought  the 
custom  over  to  England.  To  this  day  in  Jersey  if  there  be  a  question  of  en- 
croachment on  the  rights  of  property,  the  injured  person  may  make  his  appeal 
on  the  spot  by  falling  on  his  knees  in  the  presence  of  witnesses  and  exclaim- 
ing, "  Haro !  Haro  !  a  I'aide,  mon  prince,  on  me  fait  tort."  The  alleged 
trespassers  must  immediately  cease  and  await  the  judgment  of  the  court.  If 
the  person  thus  appealing  is  found  to  have  been  in  the  wrong,  he  is  fined  by 
the  court  for  having  without  just  cause  called  on  the  name  of  Rollo. 

A  notable  case  of  this  Clameur  de  Haro  occurred  in  Normandy  at  the  funeral  of  William 
the  Conqueror,  and  accounts  for  the  scene  so  graphically  told  by  Mr.  Freeman,  though  he 
does  not  connect  the  incident  with  the  peculiar  custom  or  right  of  appeal.  In  order  to  pro- 
vide a  site  for  the  great  abbey  of  St.  Stephen  at  Caen,  the  Conqueror  had  taken  the  property 
of  several  persons,  one  of  whom  complained  that  he  had  not  been  compensated  for  his  inter- 
est. The  son  of  this  person,  Ascelin,  observing  that  the  grave  of  William  was  dug  on  the 
very  spot  where  his  father's  house  had  been  situated,  went  boldly  into  the  assembly  collected 
at  the  grave  for  the  funeral,  and,  making  his  appeal  to  Rollo,  forbade  further  proceedings  until 
his  claim  of  right  was  decided.  He  addressed  the  company  in  these  words  :  "  He  who  has 
oppressed  kingdoms  by  his  army  has  been  my  oppressor  also,  and  has  kept  me  under  a  con- 
tinual fear  of  death.  Since  I  have  outlived  him  who  injured  me,  I  mean  not  to  acquit  him 
now  he  is  dead.  The  ground  wherein  you  are  going  to  lay  this  man  is  mine;  and  I  affirm 
that  none  may  in  future  bury  their  dead  in  ground  which  belongs  to  another.  If  after  he  is 
gone,  force  and  violence  are  still  used  to  detain  my  right  from  me,  I  appeal  to  Rollo,  the 
Lander  and  father  of  our  nation,  who,  though  dead,  lives   in  his  laws.     I  take  refuge  in 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  167 

these  laws,  owning  no  authority  above  them."  This  brave  speech,  delivered  in  presence 
of  the  Conqueror's  son,  Pnnce  Henry,  afterwards  Henry  I.,  wrought  its  effect.  Compensa- 
tion was  immediately  given  to  Ascelin  for  the  value  of  the  ground  occupied  by  the  grave,  a 
further  sum  was  promised  for  the  remainder,  and,  the  opposition  ceasing,  the  dead  king  was 
duly  buried.  Mr.  Freeman  thinks  it  improbable  that  William  should  have  wrongfully  taken 
the  land.  It  was  not  his  character  to  commit  acts  of  mere  robbery  ;  but  there  may  have 
been  a  dispute  of  right,  and,  Ascelin  having  made  his  appeal  to  RuUo  according  to  the  cus- 
tom, the  funeral  could  not  have  been  proceeded  with;  it  may  well  have  been,  then,  that  it 
was  found  more  convenient  to  compensate  him  on  the  spot  than  to  delay  proceedings  and 
disappoint   those   who   had   come  for   the   ceremony.— J.   Shaw-Lefevre,   in  Fortnightly 

Cleanliness  is  next  to  godliness.  John  Wesley  seems  to  have  intro- 
duced tiiis  phrase  to  literature.  In  his  sermon  on  "  Dress,"  and  again  in  his 
Journal  {February  12,  1772),  he  has  the  words,  "Cleanliness  is  indeed  next  to 
godliness,"  in  quotation-marks.  Evidently  he  is  quoting  a  current  proverb. 
Long  before  Wesley,  Bacon  had  put  much  the  same  idea  into  other  words  : 
"  Cleanliness  of  body  was  ever  deemed  to  proceed  from  a  due  reverence  to 
God."  But  a  closer  parallel  is  found  still  farther  back,  in  Aristotle  :  "Clean- 
liness is  a  half  virtue  ;"  and  before  Aristotle,  in  the  Jewish  Talmud  :  "  The 
doctrines  of  religion  are  resolved  into  carefulness  ;  carefulness  into  vigorous- 
ness  ;  vigorousness  into  guiltlessness  ;  guiltlessness  into  abstemiousness  ;  ab- 
steiniousness  into  cleanliness  ;  cleanliness  into  godliness."  A  more  literal 
translation  would  substitute  "next  to"  for  "resolved  into,"  and  so  obtain  the 
exact  letter  with  only  slight  violation  of  the  spirit. 

The  passion  for  cleanliness  is  a  comparatively  recent  one  with  the  Anglo- 
Saxon  race.  In  times  as  near  to  the  present  as  Queen  Elizabeth's,  Spenser 
has  the  line, — 

Her  silver  feet,  fair  washed  against  the  day, 

J^a^r/V  0<««i^,  Book  iv..  Canto  xi.,  V.  47; 
i.e.,  for  a  special  day  of  rejoicing. 

We  may  all  devoutly  echo  Thackeray's  thanksgiving:  "Of  all  the  ad- 
vances towards  civilization  which  our  nation  has  made,  and  of  most  of  which 
Mr.  Macaulay  treats  so  eloquently  in  his  lately-published  History,  there  is 
none  which  ought  to  give  a  philanthropist  more  pleasure  than  to  remark  the 
great  and  increasing  demand  for  bath-tubs  at  the  ironmongers':  zinc  institu- 
tions, of  which  our  ancestors  had  a  lamentable  ignorance.  And  I  hope  that 
these  institutions  will  be  universal  in  our  country  before  long,  and  that  every 
decent  man  in  England  will  be  a  Companion  of  the  Most  Honourable  Order 
of  the  Bath." — Sketches  and  Travels  in  London. 

Cloud.  Every  cloud  has  a  sUver  lining, — a  familiar  proverb,  mean- 
ing that  the  worst  misfortunes  have  their  compensation  or  their  promise  of 
atnelioration  in  the  future.  It  may  be  a  reminiscence  of  the  lines  (221,  222) 
in  Milton's  "  Comus," — 

Was  I  deceived,  or  did  a  sable  cloud 
Turn  forth  her  silver  lining  to  the  night  ? 
La  Rochefoucauld  says  (Maxim  49),  "  We  are  never  so  happy  or  so  un- 
happy as  we  think  ourselves." 

And  hope  is  brightest  when  it  dawns  from  fears. 

Lady  of  the  Lake,  Canto  iv.,  Stanza  i. 

See  also  Darkest  Hour  before  the  Dawn. 

Clover,  Four-Leaved.  This  plant  derived  its  significance  from  the  fact 
that  its  four  leaves  are  arranged  in  the  form  of  a  cros.s.  Moreover,  its  coin- 
l)arative  rarity  and  its  very  abnormality  (if  one  may  so  express  it)  made  it  seem 
noteworthy  or  remarkable.  If  a  person  shall  wear  a  bit  of  this  plant  he  can 
detect  the  presence  of  evil^ spirits.     It  also  brings  a  good  fortune. 

With  a  four-leaved  clover,  a  double-leaved  ash,  and  a  green-topped  seave  [rush]. 
You  may  go  before  the  queen's  daughter  without  asking  her  leave. 


1 68  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

A  ^Tw-Ieaved  clover  enables  a  maid  to  see  her  future  lover.  The  four- 
leaved  grass  (true-love,  one-berry,  herb-paris,  or  leopard's  bane)  is  another 
mystical  cross-leaved  plant  concerning  which  much  might  be  said.  The 
quaint  St.  Andrew's  cross  {Ascyrum  crux-Andrece)  is  a  very  interesting  plant 
of  our  own  country,  with  cross-like  flowers.  Strangely  enough,  it  appears  to 
have  no  folk-lore  attached  to  it. 

Coals  of  fire.  The  expression,  to  heap  coals  of  fire  on  somebody's  head, 
meaning  to  return  good  for  evil,  is  an  Old  Testament  expression,  as  the  lat- 
ter is  a  New,  and  marks  the  difference  in  spirit  between  Old  and  New,  for  it 
flatters  the  immanent  vindictiveness  that  frequently  underlies  forgiveness  by 
suggesting  that  you  will  make  the  enemy  vastly  uncomfortable.  To  be  sure, 
the  phrase  occurs  in  Romans  xii.  20,  as  well  as  in  Proverbs  xxv.  21,  22,  but  in  the 
former  case  it  appears  as  a  quotation  from  the  Proverbs.  The  context,  which 
is  slightly  condensed  in  the  New  Testament  version,  appears  thus  in  the  Old  : 
"  If  thine  enemy  be  hungry,  give  him  bread  to  eat ;  and  if  he  be  thirsty,  give 
him  water  to  drink  :  for  thou  shalt  heap  coals  of  fire  upon  his  head,  and  the 
Lord  shall  reward  thee." 

If  to  forgive  be  heaping  coals  of  fire — 

As  God  has  spoken — on  the  heads  of  foes, 

Mine  should  be  a  volcano,  and  rise  higher 

Than  o'er  the  Titans  crushed  Olympus  rose. 

Or  Athos  soars,  or  blazing  Etna  glows  : 

True,  they  who  stung  were  creeping  things ;  but  what 

Than  serpents'  teeth  inflicts  with  deadlier  throes? 

The  Lion  may  be  goaded  by  the  Gnat. 
A^ho  sucks  the  slumberer's  blood  ?     The  Eagle  ? — No,  the  Bat. 

Byron. 
According  to  a  note  in  Murray's  edition  of  the  "  Poetical  Works  of  Lord 
Byron,"  this  stanza  was  originally  intended  to  go  between  stanzas  cxxxv.  and 
cxxxvi.  of  the  fourth  canto  of  "Childe  Harold."  It  was  suppressed  in  proof 
by  John  Wilson  Croker,  who  saw  the  book  through  the  press  and  may  have 
thought  the  stanza  blasphemous.  Evidently  Croker's  appetite  for  gnats  had 
been  ruined  by  a  bellyful  of  camels. 

Coat.     Cut  your  coat  according  to  your  cloth, — i.e.,  let  your  expen- 
diture be  proportioned   to  your  means.     An   old  English   proverb,  which  is 
probably  a  survival  from  the  old  sumptuary  laws.     One  of  its  earliest  appear- 
ances in  literature  is  in  Heywood's  "  Proverbs,"  ch.  ix. : 
Cut  my  coat  after  my  cloth. 

The  Spanish  say,  "  Let  every  one  stretch  his  leg  according  to  his  coverlet ;" 
and  the  French,  "  According  to  the  arm  be  the  bloodletting." 

Cock  and  Bull  Story.  The  most  probable  explanation  of  this  term  as 
applied  to  preposterous  tales  related  in  private  life  is  that  which  refers  it  to 
the  old  fables  in  which  cocks,  bulls,  and  other  animals  are  represented  as 
endowed  with  speech.  Matthew  Prior's  "  Riddle  on  Beauty"  closes  with 
these  lines  : 

Of  cocks  and  bulls,  and  flutes  and  fiddles. 

Of  idle  tales  and  foolish  riddles. 

One  of  Cowper's  fables  commences  as  follows  : 

I  shall  not  ask  Jean  Jacques  Rousseau 

If  birds  confabulate  or  no  ; 

'Tis  clear  that  they  were  always  able 

To  hold  discourse  at  least  in  fable. 

And  ev'n  the  child  who  knows  no  better 

Than  to  interpret  by  the  letter 

A  story  of  a  cock  and  bull 

Must  have  a  most  uncommon  skull. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  169 

Cockade,  The  Black  (a  star-like  piece  of  black  leather,  usually  sur- 
mounted by  a  fan,  which  is  often  seen  on  the  hats  of  liveried  servants),  was 
unknown  in  Britain  until  the  accession  of  the  house  of  Hanover,  and  was 
then  introduced  by  George  I.  from  his  German  dominions.  It  seems  to  be 
understood  that  the  right  to  use  it  belongs  to  naval  and  military  officers,  and 
the  holders  of  some  offices  of  dignity  under  the  crown,  such  as  privy  coun- 
cillors, officers  of  state,  supreme  judges,  etc.  But  it  is  somewhat  difficult  to 
draw  the  line,  as  the  privilege  is  one  of  which  the  law  takes  no  cognizance. 
Naval  cockades  have  no  fan-shaped  appendage,  and  do  not  project  above  the 
top  of  the  hat. 

Cocker,  According  to,  and  According  to  Gunter,  are  slang  expres- 
sions current  in  England  and  to  a  less  extent  in  America,  meaning  "according 
to  the  best  authority  or  highest  standard."  Edward  Cocker,  who  died  about 
1675,  had  a  great  fame  as  a  mathematician;  but  the  celebrated  "Cocker's 
Arithmetic"  was  a  forgery.  It  has  been  proved  that  Cocker  had  nothing 
whatever  to  do  with  this  once  vastly  popular  text-book  which  was  published  in 
his  name.  Edmund  Gunter  (i  581-1626)  was  also  a  noted  English  mathema- 
tician. He  invented  Gunter's  chain,  still  used  for  measuring  land  ;  Gunter's 
scale  (called  by  mariners  "  the  Gunter"),  much  used  in  navigation ;  Gunter's 
line,  a  sort  of  mechanical  logarithmic  table,  a  quadrant,  etc. 

Cockles  of  the  heart,  a  colloquialism  found  in  such  expressions  as 
"that  will  warm  the  very  cockles  of  your  heart,"  and  supposed  to  have  taken 
its  rise  from  an  expression  made  use  of  by  Lower,  the  anatomist,  who  in  his 
"Tractatus  de  Corde"  (1669)  refers  to  the  muscular  fibres  of  the  ventricles  as 
cochlecB.  The  ventricles  of  the  heart,  therefore,  would  be  cochlea  cordis,  which 
might  have  been  facetiously  Englished  into  "cockles  of  the  heart."  But  the 
derivation  is  very  dubious. 

Cockney,  a  common  sobriquet  for  a  native  of  London.  The  "New 
English  Dictionary"  is  at  great  pains  to  trace  the  history  of  this  word.  It 
quotes  from  Minsheu's"Ductor,"  published  in  161 7,  the  memorable  "chestnut" 
on  the  subject :  "  The  tearme  came  first  out  of  this  tale  :  That  a  cittizen's  sonne 
riding  with  his  father  .  .  .  into  the  country  .  .  .  asked,  when  he  heard  a 
horse  neigh,  what  the  horse  did  ;  his  father  answered.  The  horse  doth  neigh ; 
riding  farther,  he  heard  a  cocke  crow,  and  said,  Doth  the  cocke  neigh  too? 
and  therefore  Cockney  or  Cocknie,  by  inversion  thus  :  incock,  q.  incoctus — i.e., 
raw  or  unripe  in  Country-men's  affaires."  This  does  not  satisfy  Dr.  Murray 
and  his  assistants.  A  cockney  was  originally  a  cockered  child,  one  suckled 
too  long,  a  mother's  darling,  one  tenderly  brought  up, — hence  a  squeamish  or 
effeminate  fellow,  a  milksop.  The  word  is  often  used  in  the  last  sense  by 
Elizabethan  and  earlier  writers.  On  Childermas-Day  (December  28)  the 
students  of  Lincoln's  Inn  chose  a  "  King  of  Cockneys"  to  be  Master  of  the 
Revels.  The  word  came  to  be  applied  derisively  to  a  townsman,  as  the  type 
of  effeminacy,  in  contrast  to  the  hardier  inhabitants  of  the  country.  Then  it 
was  localized  to  mean  one  born  in  the  city  of  London,  "particularly  to 
connote  the  characteristics  in  which  the  born  Londoner  is  supposed  to 
be  inferior  to  other  Englishmen."  The  townsman  had  his  revenge  by  the  use 
he  made  of  "clown."  The  original  of  "clown"  in  the  Teutonic  languages 
means  a  clod,  clump,  clot, — hence  a  clumsy  lout,  a  lumpish  fellow.  Then  it 
was  applied  to  a  countryman  as  the  clown  par  excellence,  the  man  without 
refinement  or  culture,  the  ignorant,  rude,  uncouth,  ill-bred  man. 

Cogito,  ergo  sum  (L.,"I  think,  therefore  I  am"),  the  famous  proposition 
upon  which  Descartes  founded  his  philosophical  scheme.  He  sta.rts  from  the 
basis  of  universal  scepticism.  He  recognizes  that  the  philosophic  mind  may 
H  15 


I70  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

doubt  the  existence  of  the  external  world,  of  God,  even  of  itself.  Mind,  mat- 
ter, science,  experience,  all  is  or  may  be  delusion  ;  nothing  remains  but  doubt. 
"  How,  then,  can  we  find  a  fresh  starting-point  ?  Evidently  in  the  fact  of 
doubt  alone.  What  is  doubt  1  A  state  or  condition, — in  fact,  a  judgment ; 
and  how  can  there  be  a  judgment  without  some  one  to  judge.''  Doubt,  then, 
is  an  act  of  thinking.  Thinking  is  inconceivable  without  a  person  to  think. 
Thus,  doubt  implies  the  mental  existence  of  a  doubter.  Cogito,  ergo  sum.''' 
(Mahaffy  :  Descartes.)  Though  the  application  of  the  phrase  is  Descartes's, 
it  has  some  verbal  kindred  with  St.  Augustine  in  "  De  Civitate  Dei :"  "  Si 
enim  fallor,  sum  ;  nam  qui  non  est,  utique  nee  falli  potest,  ac  per  hoc  sum  si 
fallor." 

Cohesive  power  of  public  plunder.  This  excellent  phrase  is  a  popu- 
lar misquotation  that  adds  force  and  conciseness  to  the  original,  which  runs 
as  follows : 

A  power  has  risen  up  in  the  government  greater  than  the  people  themselves,  consisting 
of  many  and  various  and  powerful  interests,  combined  into  one  vast  mass,  and  held  together 
by  the  cohesive  power  of  the  vast  surplus  in  the  banks. — John  C.  Calhoun  :  Speech,  May 
27,  1836. 

Coincidences.  We  are  losing  our  picturesque  superstitions.  The  coinci- 
dences in  which  our  ancestors  would  have  detected  a  miraculous  intervention 
now  only  amuse  and  interest  us.  We  reason  sagely  about  them.  We  recog- 
nize with  Mr.  Proctor  that  although  some  coincidences  appear  extraordinary, 
yet  it  would  be  still  more  extraordinary  if  in  the  whirl  and  toss  of  events  such 
coincidences  did  not  occasionally  happen.  Take  the  case  of  a  lottery  with  a 
thousand  tickets  and  but  one  prize.  It  is  exceedingly  unlikely  that  any  par- 
ticular ticket-holder  will  obtain  the  prize  :  the  odds  are,  in  fact,  999  to  i 
against  him.  But  suppose  he  had  one  ticket  in  each  of  a  million  different 
lotteries  all  giving  the  same  chance  of  success.  Then  it  would  not  be  sur- 
prising for  him  to  draw  a  prize  ;  on  the  contrary,  it  would  be  a  most  remark- 
able coincidence  if  he  did  not  draw  one.  The  same  event — the  drawing  of  a 
prize — which  in  one  case  must  be  regarded  as  highly  improbable  becomes 
in  the  other  case  highly  probable.  So  it  is  with  coincidences  which  appear 
utterly  improbable.  It  would  be  a  most  wonderful  thing  if  such  coincidences 
did  not  occur,  and  occur  pretty  frequently,  in  the  experience  of  every  man, 
since  the  opportunities  for  their  occurrence  enormously  outnumber  the  chances 
against  the  occurrence  of  any  particular  instance. 

Mr.  Proctor  cites  the  case  of  Dr.  Thomas  Young  as  surpassing  in  strange- 
ness all  the  coincidences  he  had  ever  heard  of.  Dr.  Young  was  busily 
engaged  in  the  attempted  deciphering  of  the  Rosetta  Stone.  He  had  obtained 
a  parcel  of  ancient  manuscripts  brought  from  Egypt  by  a  man  named  Casati, 
among  others  a  papyrus  containing  amid  its  baffling  hieroglyphics  three  names 
in  Greek  letters,  Apollonius,  Antigonus,  and  Antimachus.  A  few  days  later 
a  friend  had  placed  in  his  hands  several  fine  specimens  of  writing  in  papyrus 
which  he  had  purchased  from  an  Arab  at  Thebes  in  1820.  Dr.  Young  turned 
with  a  sense  of  relief  from  his  Egyptian  puzzles  to  a  plain  Greek  manuscript 
of  Mr.  Grey's.  He  could  scarcely  believe  that  he  was  alive  and  in  his  sober 
senses  when  the  words  Antimachus  Antigenis  (sic)  struck  his  eyes,  and,  a 
few  lines  farther  back,  Portis  Apollonii.  It  was  a  Greek  translation  of  the 
very  manuscript  he  had  been  poring  over  !  "  A  most  extraordinary  chance," 
says  Dr.  Young,  "  had  brought  into  my  possession  a  document  which  was  not 
very  likely,  in  the  first  place,  ever  to  have  existed,  still  less  to  have  been  pre- 
served uninjured,  for  my  information,  through  a  period  of  near  two  thousand 
years  ;  but  that  this  very  extraordinary  translation  should  have  been  brought 
safely  to  Europe,  to  England,  and  to  me,  at  the  very  moment  when  it  was  most 


LITER  A  R  V  CARIOSITIES.  1 7 1 

of  all  desirable  to  me  to  possess  it,  as  the  illustration  of  an  original  which  I 
was  then  studying,  but  without  any  other  reasonable  hope  of  comprehending 
it, — this  combination  would,  in  other  times,  have  been  considered  as  affording 
ample  evidence  of  my  having  become  an  Egyptian  sorcerer." 

Indeed,  the  author  of  "The  Ruins  of  Sacred  and  Historic  Lands,"  who 
probably  credits  himself  with  a  reflective  mind,  is  good  enough  to  say  that  "  it 
seems  to  the  reflective  mind  that  the  appointed  time  had  at  length  arrived 
when  the  secrets  of  Egyptian  history  were  at  length  to  be  revealed,  and  to  cast 
their  reflective  light  on  the  darker  pages  of  sacred  and  profane  history.  The 
incident  in  the  labors  of  Dr.  Young  might  be  deemed  providential,  if  not 
miraculous." 

Professor  De  Morgan  has  a  budget  of  curious  coincidences  to  exploit.  One 
was  an  event  in  his  own  life.  "In  August,  1861,"  he  says,  "  M.  Senarmont 
of  the  French  Institute,  wrote  to  me  to  the  effect  that  Fresnel  had  sent  to 
England  in,  or  shortly  after,  1824  a  paper  for  translation  and  insertion  in  the 
European  Review,  which  shortly  after  expired.  The  question  was  what  had 
become  of  the  paper.  I  examined  the  Revieiu  at  the  Museum,  found  no  trace 
of  the  paper,  and  wrote  back  to  that  effect,  at  the  Museum,  adding  that  every- 
thing now  depended  on  ascertaining  the  name  of  the  editor  and  tracing  his 
papers :  of  this  I  thought  there  was  no  chance.  I  posted  the  letter  on  my 
way  home,  at  a  post-ofiice  in  the  Hampstead  Road,  at  the  junction  with  Ed- 
ward Street,  on  the  opposite  side  of  which  is  a  bookstall.  Lounging  for  a 
moment  over  the  exposed  books,  sicut  metis  est  mos,  I  saw,  within  a  few  minutes 
of  the  posting  of  the  letter,  a  little  catchpenny  book  of  anecdotes  of  Macaulay, 
which  I  bought,  and  ran  over  for  a  minute.  My  eye  was  soon  caught  by  this 
sentence  :  '  One  of  the  young  fellows  immediately  wrote  to  the  editor  (Mr. 
"Walker)  of  the  European  Ret'iew.'  I  thus  got  the  clue  by  which  I  ascertained 
that  there  was  no  chance  of  recovering  Fresnel's  paper.  Of  the  mention  of 
current  Reviews  not  one  in  a  thousand  names  the  editor."  It  will  be  noticed 
that  there  was  a  double  coincidence  in  this  case.  It  was  sufficiently  remark- 
able that  the  first  mention  of  a  Review,  after  the  difficulty  had  been  recognized, 
should  relate  to  the  European,  and  give  the  name  of  the  editor ;  but  it  was 
even  more  remarkable  that  the  occurrence  should  be  timed  so  strangely  as 
was  actually  the  case. 

The  following  curious  coincidences  have  been  collated  from  history  by 
patient  investigators. 

Among  many  superstitions  peculiar  to  the  Napoleons  is  that  of  regarding 
the  letter  M  as  ominous  of  good  or  evil.  The  following  catalogue  of  men, 
things,  and  events,  the  names  of  which  begin  with  M,  shows  that  the  two 
emperors  of  France  have  had  some  cause  for  considering  this  letter  a  red  or 
a  black  one,  according  to  circumstances.  Marboeuf  was  the  first  to  recognize 
the  genius  of  the  great  Napoleon  at  the  Military  College.  Marengo  was  the 
first  great  battle  won  by  General  Bonaparte,  and  Melas  made  room  for  him  in 
Italy.  Mortier  was  one  of  his  best  generals,  Moreau  betrayed  him,  and  Murat 
was  the  first  martyr  to  his  cause.  Marie  Louise  shared  his  highest  fortunes. 
Moscow  was  the  abyss  of  ruin  into  which  he  fell.  Metternich  vanquished  him 
in  the  field  of  diplomacy.  Six  marshals  (Massena,  Mortier,  Marmont,  Mac- 
donald,  Murat,  Moncey)  and  twenty-six  generals  of  division  under  Napoleon 
I.  had  the  letter  M  for  their  initial.  Maret,  Duke  of  Bassano,  was  his  most 
trusted  counsellor.  His  first  battle  was  that  of  Montenotte,  his  last  Mont  St. 
Jean,  as  the  French  term  Waterloo;  he  won  the  battles  of  Millesimo,  Mon- 
devi,  Montmirail,  and  Montereau  ;  then  came  the  storming  of  Montmartre. 
Milan  was  the  first  enemy's  capital,  and  Moscow  the  last,  into  which  he 
marched  victorious.  He  lost  Egypt  through  Menou,  and  employed  Miollis 
to  take  Pius  VII.  prisoner.     Mallet  conspired  against  him  ;  Murat  was  the 


172  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

first  to  desert  him,  then  Marmont.  Three  of  his  ministers  were  Maret,  Mon- 
talivet,  and  Mollien  ;  his  first  chamberlain  was  Montesquieu.  His  last  halting- 
place  in  France  was  Malmaison.  He  surrendered  to  Captain  Maitland  of  the 
Bellerophon,  and  his  companions  in  St.  Helena  were  Montholon  and  his  valet 
Marchand.  If  we  turn  to  the  career  of  his  nephew,  Napoleon  III.,  we  find 
the  same  letter  no  less  prominent.  He  was  born  April  20,  1S08,  which  in 
Corsica  is  the  last  day  of  the  feast-week  of  Machreal.  His  early  military 
instructions  were  given  him  by  Moreith  of  Montelimar.  His  empress  was  the 
Countess  Montijo  ;  his  greatest  friend  was  Morny.  The  taking  of  the  Mala- 
koff  and  the  Mamelon-vert  were  the  greatest  feats  of  the  French  arms  in  the 
Crimean  war.  He  planned  his  first  battle  of  the  Italian  campaign  at  Marengo, 
although  it  was  not  fought  until  after  the  engagement  of  Montebello ;  at 
Magenta,  MacMahon,  for  his  important  services  in  this  battle,  was  named  Duke 
of  Magenta,  as  Pelissier  had  for  a  similar  merit  received  the  title  of  Duke  of 
Malakoff.  Napoleon  HI.  then  made  his  entry  into  Milan,  and  drove  the 
Austrians  out  of  Marignano.  After  the  great  victory  of  Solferino,  fought  on 
the  banks  and  in  the  waters  of  the  Mincio,  he  turned  back  before  the  walls  of 
Mantua.  Thus  up  to  i860,  after  which  the  letter  M  would  seem  to  have  been 
ominous  of  evil.  Passing  over  Mexico  and  Maximilian,  we  see  how  vain 
were  his  hopes  founded  on  the  three  M's  of  the  Franco-Prussian  war, — Mar- 
shal MacMahon,  Count  Montauban,  and  Mitrailleuse  !  Mayence  was  to  have 
been  the  basis  for  the  further  operations  of  the  French  army,  but,  pushed 
back  first  to  the  Moselle,  its  doom  was  sealed  on  the  Maas,  at  Sedan.  Then 
followed  the  capitulation  of  Metz ;  and  all  the  subsequent  disasters  were  due 
to  the  superior  skill  and  strategy  of  another  M, — Moltke.  Another  strange 
coincidence  noted  in  regard  to  the  Third  Napoleon  was  that  he  died  at  Chisel- 
hurst  at  10.45  A.M., — precisely  the  hour  when  the  great  clock  of  the  Tuileries 
stopped  after  the  palace  was  set  on  fire  by  the  Commune. 

Numbers  as  well  as  letters  have  played  strange  tricks  with  the  Napoleonic 
dynasty.  As  thus  :  Napoleon  I.  was  born  in  1768.  He  abolished  the  Direc- 
tory and  took  the  supreme  power  in  1799.  Now  add  these  dates  together  in 
the  following  manner, — 

1799 

I 


1821 
and  the  sum  represents  the  date  of  his  death.     Try  the  same  plan  with  Na- 
poleon III.,  born  1808,  became  emperor  1852  : 
1852 
I 
8 
o 
8 

1869 
which,  though  not  absolutely  the  date  when  he  was  dethroned,  is  the  date  of 
the  last  year  of  his  reign,  and  anyhow  completes  the  cycle  of  one  hundred 
years  from  the  birth  of  the  First  Napoleon. 

A  still  more  extraordinary  circumstance  is  that  if  you  add  in  the  same  way 
to  the  date  of  the  Third  Napoleon's  coronation  that  of  his  wife's  birth  (1826), 
or  of  their  marriage  (1853),  the  mystic  result  is  still   1869.     Then,  again, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  173 

Louis  Philippe  began  to  reign  in  1830.  Add  to  tliis  in  the  old  familiar  manner 
either  1773,  the  date  of  his  own  birth,  1782,  the  date  of  Queen  Anielie's  birth, 
or  1S09,  the  date  of  their  marriage,  and  the  result  in  each  case  is  184S,  the 
year  in  which  Napoleon  III.  superseded  him. 

Another  noteworthy  coincidence  is  the  following.  Here  are  the  figures  of 
the  plebiscite  : 

7119796/1119000 
The  line  divides  the  majority  on  the  right  from  the  minority  on  the  left.  Now 
copy  this,  omitting  the  three  noughts  and  slightly  humoring  the  figures,  and 
hold  the  result  with  its  face  to  the  light :  the  reverse  will  read  very  much  like 
the  word  empereur.  Of  course  not  every  one's  handwriting  will  exactly  com- 
pass this.  The  tail  of  the  9's  must  be  shortened  and  curved,  the  7's  made 
angular.  Then  the  final  9  will  represent  the  initial  e,  the  next  three  figures 
make  a  not  impossible  m,  the  dividing  line  and  the  6  together  a  fairly  good/, 
the  9  next  to  it  an  e  again,  the  7  an  inebriate  r,  the  9  an  ^ again,  the  next  two 
figures  a  plausible  u,  and  the  final  7  a  boon  companion  of  the  other. 

It  is  said  that  during  the  infancy  of  Louis  XVI.  some  astrologer  had  predicted 
that  the  number  21  would  prove  fatal  to  him.  Hence  he  always  had  a  dread  of 
any  date  wherein  that  number  appeared.  He  would  never  hold  a  royal  sitting 
on  the  2ist  of  a  month.  His  dread  seems  to  have  been  justified  by  events,  for 
many  of  the  disasters  of  his  reign  occurred  on  that  day.  His  marriage,  which 
might  be  looked  upon  as  one  chief  cause  of  his  eventual  troubles,  took  place 
on  the  2ist  of  April,  1770,  and  on  the  same  day  a  violent  storm  arose  and 
raged  with  devastating  violence.  His  entry  into  Paris  was  made  on  the  suc- 
ceeding 2ist  of  June,  when  a  panic  occurred  in  the  crowd  and  fifteen  hundred 
people  were  trampled  to  death  ;  the  flight  to  Varennes  was  on  June  21,  1791  ; 
royalty  was  abolished  September  21,  1792;  Louis  himself  was  condemned 
to  death  by  twenty-one  votes  (the  authority  for  this  statement,  however,  is 
confessedly  meagre),  and  on  the  2ist  of  January,  1793,  he  was  guillotined. 

In  the  royal  family  of  Belgium  January  has  always  been  looked  upon  as  an 
unlucky  month.  When,  on  January  i,  1890,  the  palace  of  Laeken,  with  all 
its  magnificent  treasures,  was  destroyed  by  fire,  tlie  Queen  of  the  Belgians 
exclaimed,  "  All  our  disasters  come  in  January  !"  It  was  in  January  that  her 
sister-in-law,  Carlotta  of  Mexico,  had  lost  her  reason  ;  in  January,  1S69,  that 
her  son  died,  leaving  the  heirship  to  her  nephew,  Prince  Baldwin,  who  also 
died  in  January  (1891)  ;  in  January  (1881)  that  the  palace  of  the  Empress 
Charlotte  was  consumed  by  fire,  and  in  January  (1889)  that  Archduke  Rudolph, 
her  son-in-law,  committed  suicide. 

A  German  statistician  has  discovered  that  the  number  3  has  played  an 
important  part  in  Prince  Bismarck's  life.  The  family  coat  of  arms  bears  over 
the  motto,  "In  Trinitate  Robur,"  three  clover  and  three  oak  leaves.  Carica- 
turists of  the  ex-Chancellor  have  for  years  represented  him  with  three  hairs 
on  his  head.  He  has  three  children  and  three  estates  ;  he  fought  in  three 
wars,  and  signed  three  treaties  of  peace.  He  arranged  the  meeting  of  the 
three  Emperors,  and  originated  the  Triple  Alliance.  He  had  under  him  the 
three  great  political  parties  (Conservatives,  National  Liberals,  and  Ultramon- 
tanes),  and  served  three  German  emperors. 

The  death,  in  1892,  of  the  Duke  of  Clarence,  eldest  son  of  the  Prince  of 
Wales,  called  renewed  attention  to  the  old  superstition  as  to  the  unluckiness 
of  that  title.  Five  dukes  have  borne  it  in  English  history.  None  transmitted 
it  to  his  heir.  The  first  duke  died  in  1368,  leaving  no  male  issue.  The  title 
was  revived  in  141 1,  when  Henry  IV.  conferred  it  on  his  second  son,  Thomas 
Plantagenet,  who  was  killed  ten  years  later  at  the  battle  of  Beange,  leaving 
no  issue.  In  1461,  Edward  IV.  conferred  it  on  his  brother  George,  who  was 
murdered  in  1477  and  his  title  attainted.     He  was  the  only  Duke  of  Clarence 


174  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

to  leave  a  male  heir,  and  that  heir,  known  as  Edward,  Earl  of  Warwick,  was 
beheaded  in  the  Tower  in  1499,  where,  fifty  years  later,  the  only  daughter 
of  the  house,  the  aged  and  unfortunate  Margaret,  Countess  of  Salisbury,  suf- 
fered the  same  penalty  as  her  brother.  In  1789  a  fourth  effort  was  made  to 
resuscitate  the  title  in  the  person  of  the  third  son  of  George  III.,  afterwards 
William  IV.,  who  died  without  legitimate  issue.  In  1890,  one  hundred  years 
later,  the  title  was  renewed  for  the  last  time  in  the  person  of  the  young  prince, 
who  died  two  years  later,  on  the  very  eve  of  his  marriage. 

But  the  superstitious  noted  that  the  death  of  Prince  Albert  Victor  on  a 
Thursday  broke  a  remarkable  spell  or  curse  which  had  hung  over  the  present 
royal  family  of  England  for  more  than  a  century  and  three-quarters, — bringing 
about  the  death  of  all  the  prominent  members  of  that  family  on  Saturdays. 
William  III.  died  Saturday,  March  18,  1702;  Queen  Anne  died  Saturday, 
August  I,  1714;  George  I.  died  Satui-day,  June  10,  1727;  George  II.  died 
Saturday,  October  25,  1760;  George  III.  died  Saturday,  January  29,  1820; 
George  IV.  died  Saturday,  June  26,  1830 ;  the  Duchess  of  Kent  died  Satur- 
day, March  16,  1861  ;  the  Prince  Consort,  husband  of  Queen  Victoria  and 
grandfather  of  the  recent  deceased  Prince  Albert  Victor,  died  Saturday,  De- 
cember 14,  1861 ;  Princess  Alice  of  Hesse-Darmstadt,  Victoria's  second 
daughter,  and  sister  of  Albert,  died  Saturday,  December  14,  1878.  The 
shadows  which  overhung  the  late  prince's  life  are  said  to  have  been  dark- 
ened by  a  superstitious  fear  which  caused  him  to  keep  close  in-doors  on 
Saturdays. 

There  is  not  a  more  curious  coincidence  than  that  concerning  Richard 
Wagner,  the  composer,  and  his  famous  13's.  To  begin  with,  it  takes  13  let- 
ters to  spell  Richard  Wagner.  He  was  born  in  1813.  Add  the  figures  to- 
gether, thus,  I -8- 1 -3,  and  you  have  another  13.  The  letters  in  his  name  and 
the  sum  of  the  figures  in  the  year  of  his  birth  equal  twice  13.  He  composed 
exactly  13  great  works,  and  always  declared  that  he  "set  his  head"  on  his 
after-career  on  the  13th  of  the  month.  "Tanhiiuser"  was  completed  on  April 
13,  1845  ;  it  was  first  performed  at  Paris,  March  13,  1861.  He  left  Bavreuth 
September  13,  1861.  September  is  the  ninth  month  ;  write  9-13  and  add  the 
three  figures  together,  thus,  9-1-3,  and  you  have  13.  Finally,  he  died  on  Feb- 
ruary 13,  1883. 

The  attention  of  many  earnest  students  has  been  directed  towards  collecting 
instances  of  famous  men  having  died  on  the  anniversary  of  their  birth.  First 
of  all  comes  Moses,  who,  according  to  the  Talmud,  "  died  on  the  seventh  day  of 
Adar,  the  same  day  of  the  same  month  on  which  he  was  born,  his  age  being  ex- 
actly one  hundred  and  twenty  years."  Shakespeare  was  born  April  23,  1564, 
and  died  April  23,  1616.  Raphael,  the  artist,  was  born  on  Good  Friday,  1483, 
and  died  on  Good  Friday,  1520,  aged  thirty-seven.  As  Good  Friday  is  a  mov- 
able feast,  it  does  not  follow  that  the  day  of  the  month  was  identical  in  each 
case,  but  the  coincidence  has  excited  much  astonishment.  Sir  Thomas  Browne, 
author  of  "  Religio  Medici,"  was  born  October  19, 1605  ;  died  October  19,  16S2. 
Timothy  Swan,  composer,  was  born  July  23,  1758;  died  July  23,  1842.  General 
McLean  Taylor,  a  nephew  of  President  Taylor,  was  born  November  21,  1828  ; 
died  November  21,  1S75.  St.  John  of  God,  one  of  the  most  eminent  of  the 
Portuguese  saints,  and  founder  of  the  Order  of  Charity,  was  born  March  8, 
1495  ;  died  March  8,  1550.  John  Sobieski,  the  king  of  Poland  who  delivered 
Vienna  from  the  Turks,  was  born  June  17,  1629  ;  died  June  17,  1696. 

Attention  has  been  drawn  to  the  fact  that  M,  which  is  the  first  letter  of 
Melody  and  Music,  is  also  the  initial  in  the  names  of  a  great  number  of  com- 
posers, ancient  and  modern  :  Marcello,  Monsigny,  Mehul,  Mozart,  Martini, 
Mercadante,  Meyerbeer,  Malibran,  Mayseder,  Mine,  Musard,  Mendelssohn, 
Moscheles,  etc. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1 75 

Cold  Day.  The  humorous  bit  of  self-appreciatory  slang,  "It's  a  cold  day 
when  I  get  left,"  meaning  much  the  same  thing  as  "You'll  have  to  get  up  very 
early  in  the  morning  to  get  the  best  of  me," — this  recent  Americanism  prob- 
ably sprang  from  the  game  of  "  freeze-out"  poker.  Each  player  buys  a  certain 
stipulated  amount  of  chips,  and  when  he  loses  them  can  buy  no  more,  but  is 
"frozen,"  or,  more  idiomatically,  "froze  out,"  and  so  the  game  continues  till 
one  man  has  all  the  chips.  The  "froze-outs"  would  naturally  be  the  subject 
of  facetious  inquiry  as  to  the  state  of  the  thermometer,  and  the  winner's  glee 
would  take  some  such  form  as  this  :  "  It  may  be  a  cold  day  for  you  fellows,  but 
it  would  have  to  be  a  good  deal  colder  before  I  get  left.'"  A  correspondent 
of  the  American  Notes  and  Que7-ies,  vol.  ii.  p.  213,  strives,  however,  to  give 
the  phrase  an  old  English  origin.  In  the  ballad  of  "Gil  Morice"  he  finds 
these  lines : 

Yes,  I  will  gae  your  blacke  errand, 
Though  it  be  to  your  cost ; 

Sen  ye  by  me  will  nae  be  warned. 
In  it  ye  sail  find  frost. 

This  is  ingenious,  but  has  no  other  merit. 

The  sun  is  the  great  source  of  light  and  heat  for  our  earth.  If  the  sun  were  to  go  some- 
where for  a  few  weeks  for  relaxation  and  rest,  it  would  be  a  cold  day  for  us.  The  moon,  too, 
would  be  useless,  for  she  is  largely  dependent  on  the  sun.  Animal  life  would  soon  cease,  and 
real  estate  would  become  depressed  in  price. — Bill  Nye  :  Remarks. 

Cold  Shoulder,  To  turn  the,  to  treat  one  with  hauteur,  to  cut.  The 
phrase  seems  to  have  been  first  used  in  "The  Antiquary"  (1S16),  ch.  xxxiii. : 
"The  countess's  dislike  didna  gang  farther  at  first  than  just  showing  o'  the 
cauld  shoulder."  In  the  glossary  Scott  explains  it  as  meaning  "  to  appear  cold 
and  reserved."  In  an  appreciative  article  on  this  subject  the  Saturday  Review 
says,  "  The  graceful  use  of  the  cold  shoulder  fairly  deserves  to  be  ranked  among 
the  fine  arts  ;  while,  on  the  contrary,  nothing  could  be  more  ungainly  than  its 
awkward  application.  When  a  tactless  man  meets  the  object  of  his  detesta- 
tion he  loOTs  nervously  self-conscious,  and  seems  undecided  whether  to  cut 
or  merely  slight  his  enemy.  After  blushing  in  a  foolish  manner,  he  gives  an 
awkward  bow,  which,  intended  to  be  graceful,  is  in  reality  ludicrously  clumsy. 
A  casual  observer  might  attribute  his  singular  behavior  to  shyness  rather  than 
hatred.  The  most  successful  hand  at  cold-shouldering  is  the  heartless  and  list- 
less man,  who  can  put  his  victim  completely  out  of  his  mind,  and  forget  his  pres- 
ence, if  not  his  existence,  as  soon  as  he  has  accorded  him  the  coldest  of  recog- 
nitions. Without  insinuating  that  women  are  more  heartless  and  listless  than 
men,  we  may  observe  that  they  are  far  greater  adepts  in  this  aft  than  the  opposite 
sex.  Most  men  seem  more  or  less  ill  at  ease  when  they  know  that  they  are 
giving  pain  to  others,  but  this  is  by  no  means  invariably  the  case  with  women. 
We  might  even  go  so  far  as  to  say  that  ladies  sometimes  too  evidently  derive 
satisfaction  from  the  annoyance  of  others.  They  understand  the  secret  of 
freezing  others  while  preserving  their  own  caloric  ;  but  men  cannot  obtain  a 
like  result  without  first  becoming  icicles  themselves.  The  lords  of  the  creation, 
moreover,  when  wishing  to  appear  dignified,  are  apt  to  assume  an  air  of  vacant 
stupidity.  They  are,  in  fact,  bad  actors,  and  when  a  man  would  like  to  knock 
another  down,  he  finds  it  an  effort  to  treat  him  with  cold  politeness." — November 
16,  1878. 

Collaboration,  partnership  in  literature,  the  coming  together  of  two  or 
more  minds  in  the  production  of  a  single  work.  The  thing  is  at  least  as  old 
as  the  Elizabethan  drama,  when  nearly  all  the  leaders  worked  more  or  less 
in  partnership,  and  Shakespeare  himself  did  not  disdain  to  revamp  the  work 
of  an  inferior  hand  to  fit  it  for  the  stage.  Racine,  Corneille,  and  Moliere 
in  France,  Cervantes,  Calderon,  and  Lope  de  Vega  in  Spain,  all  had  partners 


176  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

in  some  one  or  more  of  their  numerous  productions.  Beaumont  and  Fletcher's 
is  the  earhest  instance  of  a  partnership  that  endured  for  a  lengtliy  period 
and  during  all  that  period  produced  notable  work.  One  cannot  say  that  con- 
glomerate authorship  has  usually  been  a  success.  It  might,  indeed,  appear 
that  a  richer  orchestration  would  result  from  an  harmonious  union  of  several 
good  instruments ;  but  experience  seems  to  teach  that  the  French  journalist 
was  right  who  said  that  collaboration  was  never  successful  save  when  it  was 
not  collaboration.  What  he  meant  was  that  one  of  the  collaborators  should 
do  all  the  work,  the  other  only  listen  and  advise.  Two  friends  live  together 
and  pass  their  evenings  side  by  side  in  front  of  a  common  hearth,  a  cup  of 
coffee  beside  them,  a  cigar  between  their  teeth.  One  has  a  fertile  imagina- 
tion, the  other  has  made  a  study  of  the  stage  and  stage  business.  Conversa- 
tion falls  upon  the  subject  of  a  drama.  One  composes  and  writes,  the  other 
commends  or  blames,  corrects,  gives  ideas,  throws  new  light  on  the  subject. 
That  is  the  ideal  collaboration. 

Take  the  case  of  Labiche.  He  is  a  farmer  who  takes  more  pride  in  his 
carefully-husbanded  crops  than  in  the  wild  oats  he  has  sown  on  the  stage. 
His  happiest  hours  are  spent  on  his  farm  at  La  Solange,  where  he  practises 
patriarchal  hospitality.  When  he  determines  to  write  a  vaudeville,  his  col- 
laborator is  summoned  to  this  rural  paradise.  For  several  evenings  the  plot 
of  the  proposed  play  is  discussed  at  table.  The  art  of  the  collaborator  con- 
sists in  making  Labiche  talk,  in  exciting  him,  in  goading  him  on.  Occasion- 
ally, of  course,  he  must  edge  in  a  reply,  furnish  a  metaphorical  spring-board 
for  his  wit,  his  invention,  his  esprit.  Labiche  abandons  himself  to  his  natural 
genius.  He  invents  scenes  and  incidents  ;  he  makes  bons-mots.  Scene  first 
is  complete  before  the  appearance  of  the  entrees.  When  the  cheese  arrives 
the  act  is  finished.  The  collaborator  goes  up-stairs  to  his  room,  writes  down 
all  he  has  heard,  and  arranges  it  in  orderly  sequence.  Next  day,  just  before 
dinner,  perhaps  with  the  preparatory  glass  of  absinthe,  he  reads  it  all  over. 
Labiche  suggests  improvements.  After  soup  has  been  servec^  he  begins 
again.  In  a  few  days  the  vaudeville  is  practically  finished  :  the  authors  leave 
to  the  friction  of  rehearsals  the  smoothing  of  all  rough  edges. 

Or  there  is  Alexandre  Uumas  Jils.  He  has  no  ostensible  collaborator. 
But  it  is  said  of  him  that  in  very  fact  he  has  as  many  collaborators  as  he  has 
friends.  When  a  comedy  is  on  the  stocks,  he  takes  twenty  or  thirty  people 
into  his  confidence,  makes  them  familiar  with  the  scene  that  embarrasses  him, 
the  situation  which  seems  inextricable,  leads  everybody  he  meets  to  talk  about 
it,  listens  to  fresh  ideas,  and  turns  them  to  account. 

Not  unlike  this  method  is  the  one  proposed  by  Mr.  Besant,  the  surviving 
partner  of  the  famous  firm  of  Besant  and  Rice.  He  recommends  it  very 
strongly  to  every  young  literary  workman. 

I  would  advise  him  to  find  among  his  friends — cousins,  sisters — a  girl,  intelligent,  sympa- 
thetic, and  quick  ;  a  girl  who  will  lend  him  her  ear,  listen  to  his  plot,  and  discuss  his  ch.arac- 
ters.  She  should  be  a  girl  of  quick  imagination,  who  does  not.  or  cannot,  write:  there  are 
many  such  girls.  When  he  has  confided  to  her  his  characters  all  in  the  rough,  with  the  part 
they  have  to  play  all  in  the  rough,  he  may  reckon  on  presently  getting  all  back  again,  but 
advanced.  Woman  does  not  create,  but  she  receives,  moulds,  and  develops.  The  figures 
will  go  back  to  their  creator  distinct  and  clear,  no  longer  shivering  unclothed,  but  made  up 
and  dressed  for  the  stage.  Merely  by  talking  with  this  girl,  everj'thing  that  was  chaotic  has 
fallen  into  order  ;  the  characters,  dim  and  shapeless,  have  become  alive,  full-grown,  articulate. 
As  in  every-day  life,  so  in  imaginative  work,  woman  is  man's  best  partner,— the  most  gener- 
ous, the  least  exacting,  the  most  certain  never  to  quarrel  over  her  share  of  the  work,  her 
share  of  the  glory,  her  share  of  the  pay. 

It  is  noteworthy  that  Bulwer  Lytton  recommends  substantially  the  same 
plan,  only  he  advises  that  the  woman  should  be  several  years  older  than  the 
man,  to  preclude  the  possibility  of  their  falling  in  love.  Love  he  evidently 
looks  upon  as  the  death  of  collaboration. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1 77 

Now,  as  Mr.  Besant  was  himself  a  member  of  a  successful  partnership,  his 
opinions  are  worth  listening  to.  Let  us  hear  further  from  him.  He  believes 
that  the  presentment  of  the  story  must  seem  to  be  by  one  man.  No  one 
would  listen  to  two  men  telling  it  together.  "  We  must  hear,  or  think  we  hear, 
one  voice."  Therefore  one  man  must  finally  revise,  or  even  write,  the  whole 
work.  And  he  conceives  that  the  rock  on  which  literary  partnership  gets 
wrecked  is  that  each  member  conceives  he  must  write  as  much  as  the  other. 

For  instance,  there  was  sent  to  me  the  other  day  a  manuscript  novel  written  in  partner- 
ship, with  the  usual  request  that  I  would  read  it  and  give  an  opinion  on  it, — in  other  words, 
sacrifice  a  whole  day  to  the  task  of  making  two  life-long  enemies.  The  authors  of  this  work 
(which  has  not  yet  seen  the  light)  had  arranged  their  fable  and  their  characters.  But  unfor- 
tunately they  made  the  great  mistake  of  writing  it  in  alternate  chapters.  Now,  the  style  of 
one  was  not  in  the  least  like  the  style  of  the  other  ;  the  effect  was  that  of  two  men  taking  turns 
to  tell  the  same  story,  each  in  his  own  way  and  from  his  own  point  of  view.  Nothing  could 
have  been  more  grotesque,  nothing  more  ineffective.  Any  one  of  the  characters  talked  with 
two  voices  and  two  brains;  the  thing  was  a  horrid  nightmare. 

One  of  the  two,  then,  I  repeat, — not  necessarily  always  the  same  one, — must  have  the 
revision  of  the  work  or  the  writing  of  the  work. 

Can,  then,  the  other  man,  who  has  contributed  only  rough  draughts  here  and 
there,  or  even  perhaps  nothing  at  all  in  writing,  be  called  a  collaborator  ? 
Most  certainly  he  can.  Indeed,  Mr.  Besant  explodes  into  hearty  laughter  at 
the  general  notion  of  collaboration, — that  it  is  carried  on  by  each  man  con- 
tributing every  other  word,  every  other  page,  or  every  other  chapter. 

Doctors  disagree,  why  not  literary  men  ?  Mr.  Justin  McCarthy  and  Mrs, 
Campbell  Praed  use  precisely  the  method  scorned  by  Mr.  Besant.  Mrs.  Praed 
has  herself  told  how  this  is  done  :  "  We  talk  the  matter  over  first,  and  make 
a  scheme.  Then  we  sketch  out  chapter  by  chapter.  I  write  the  bones  of  the 
chapters  I  think  I  can  do  the  most  easily,  and  Mr.  McCarthy  does  the  same. 
Every  sentence  is  joint  work.  I  really  don't  know  which  is  which,  and  now 
I  wouldn't  work  in  any  other  way.  You  see,  our  lives  are  so  entirely  different 
that  we  look  at  things  differently."  Mr.  McCarthy  has  always  believed  that 
two  heads  were  better  than  one  in  novel-writing,  provided  the  two  heads 
represented  the  two  sexes.  There's  a  man's  point  of  view  and  a  woman's 
point  of  view,  and,  in  studying  humanity,  he  contends  that,  to  get  at  nature, 
both  views  should  be  taken. 

Scribe's  method,  as  explained  to  Herr  von  Ptilitz  in  an  interview,  was  a 
combination  of  all  the  others.  Here  is  how  a  partnership  vaudeville  is  pro- 
duced :  "  One  author  brings  the  idea,  and  the  scaffolding  of  the  piece  {charpente) 
is  then  built  up  by  the  authors  in  common,  after  which  the  various  scenes  are 
distributed  among  them  according  to  their  special  qnalifications.  Often  the 
whole  play  is  written  by  one  author,  who  afterwards  makes  alterations  in  it 
according  to  the  suggestions  of  his  collaborator.  It  also  frequently  happens 
that  the  songs  in  the  piece  are  written  by  a  third  man,  who  has  nothing  to  do 
with  the  plot  or  the  dialogue."  It  is  much  more  difficult,  Scribe  went  on  to 
explain,  for  two  or  more  authors  to  join  in  writing  a  longer  piece.  In  such 
cases  they  have  to  consult  together  about  the  whole  of  the  play,  down  to  the 
smallest  details.  When  an  agreement  is  arrived  at,  the  execution  of  the  idea 
is  comparatively  easy,  although  it  often  happens  that  in  the  writing  of  a  play 
things  occur  which  render  it  necessary  to  alter  the  whole  plan  of  the  piece. 
This  was  the  case  in  writing  the  "  Contes  de  la  Reine  de  Navarre."  "  M^ 
idea  was  to  iriake  the  piece  a  graceful  comedy ;  but  my  assistant,  Legouve, 
took  up  a  very  serious  tone  in  the  second  act,  and  in  writing  the  fifth  act  he 
gave  the  play  a  tragical  catastrophe,  which  was  quite  contrary  to  our  agree- 
ment. I  protested,  but  we  could  not  agree.  We  then  decided  each  to  write 
a  fifth  act  and  read  them  to  the  actors,  who  would  determine  by  a  majority  of 
votes  which  of  the  two  should  be  accepted.     The  actors  voted  almost  unani- 


178  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

mously  in  my  favor,  and  my  friend  Legouve,  far  from  showing  any  ill  humor 
at  the  decision,  readily  assisted  me  in  completing  the  piece." 

Scribe  was  reproached  unfairly — for  most  of  his  best  plays  were  written 
alone — with  an  inability  to  stand  without  help,  and  when  he  was  received  into 
the  French  Academy  a  malicious  wit  suggested,  when  he  took  his  seat,  that 
the  thirty-nine  other  chairs  ought  to  be  given  up  to  his  collaborators.  But 
Scribe  was  proud  of  his  partnerships,  and  dedicated  the  collected  edition  of 
his  plays  to  his  collaborators. 

Among  French  novelists  the  most  successful  instance  of  a  long-continued 
partnership  is  that  between  Erckmann  and  Chatrian, — a  partnership  which 
lasted  more  than  thirty  years,  and  then,  just  before  the  death  of  M.  Chatrian, 
was  suddenly  and  sadly  ruptured.  They  worked  much  on  the  plan  advocated 
by  Mr.  Besant.  An  outline  was  arranged.  Each  was  permitted  to  write  all 
that  he  thought  or  felt  ;  but  his  companion  afterwards  struck  out  and  rewrote 
at  will.  Although  the  first  collaborator  was  then  given  an  opportunity  for 
further  correction  or  change,  he  was  to  some  extent  bound  not  to  introduce 
again  those  things  which  had  been  rejected  from  the  first  draught. 

The  most  successful  single  novel  ever  produced  by  collaboration  was  "La 
Croix  de  Berny,"  in  which  Madame  de  Girardin,  Gautier,  Sandeau,  and  Joseph 
Mery  all  took  a  hand.  Their  plan  was  one  which,  instead  of  merging  the 
individuality  of  each,  called  for  its  distinct  expression.  For  the  story  is  cast 
in  the  form  of  letters  between  the  four  characters.  Each  character  was 
assumed  by  some  one  writer.  Gautier  and  Madame  de  Girardin,  as  might  be 
expected,  bore  off  the  honors,  but  the  other  roles  were  well  carried  out,  and 
the  whole  affair,  while  unfolding  a  situation  of  strong  interest  and  passion, 
never  loses  the  engaging  element  of  personality.  A  similar  experiment  made 
in  England  by  nine  EngTishwonien,  including  Charlotte  M.  Yonge,  Frances  M. 
Peard,  and  Christabel  Roe  Coleridge,  proved  a  failure.  Here,  also,  the  novel 
was  cast  in  epistolary  form,  and  the  nineteen  characters  were  divided  among 
the  nine  authors.  But  the  result  is  only  that  we  meet  with  nineteen  very  dull 
people. 

In  placing  the  Erckmann-Chatrian  firm  at  the  head  of  all  French  partner- 
ships for  the  production  of  fiction,  we  have  not  forgotten  the  Goncourts,  who 
were  almost  their  equals,  nor  the  great  establishment  founded  by  Alexander 
Dumas  the  elder.  But  Dumas's  shop  was,  properly  speaking,  not  a  firm.  He 
had  no  partners,  but  only  clerks  and  assistants.  He  might  not  have  been  able 
to  carry  on  the  immense  business  he  transacted  without  the  aid  of  these  auxili- 
aries, but  the  creative  hand  and  brain  are  always  his.  Jules  Janin,  a  severe 
critic  on  other  points,  acknowledges  so  much.  "  Dumas's  books,"  says  Janin, 
"show  the  mark  of  the  lion's  paw,  and,  good,  bad,  and  indifferent,  bear 
unmistakable  evidences  of  having  issued  from  the  smoky  flame  of  Alexander 
Dumas."  Who  does  not  remember  Thackeray's  charming  defence  of  his 
favorite  novelist  ? — 

They  say  that  all  the  works  bearing  Dumas's  name  are  not  written  by  him.  Well  ?  Does 
not  the  chief  cook  have  aides  under  him  ?  Did  not  Ruben  ,'s  pupils  paint  on  his  canvases  ? 
Had  not  Lawrence  assistants  for  his  backgrounds  ?  For  myself,  being  also  du  tuetier,  I  con- 
fess I  would  often  like  to  have  a  competent,  respectable,  and  rapid  clerk  for  the  business  part 
of  my  novels;  and  on  his  arrival,  at  eleven  o'clock,  would  say,  "  Mr.  Jones,  if  you  please, 
the  Archbishop  must  die  this  morning  in  about  five  pages.  Turn  to  article  '  Dropsy'  (or 
what  you  will)  in  Encyclopaedia.  Take  care  there  are  no  medical  blunders  in  his  death. 
Group  his  daughters,  physicians,  and  chaplains  round  him.  In  Wales's  '  London,'  letter  B, 
third  shelf,  you  will  find  an  account  of  Lambeth,  and  some  prints  of  the  place.  Color  in  with 
local  coloring.  The  daughter  will  come  down,  and  speak  to  her  lover  in  his  wherry  at  Lam- 
beth stairs,"  etc.,  etc.  Jones  (an  intelligent  young  man)  examines  the  medical,  historical, 
topographical  books  necessary  ;  his  chief  points  out  to  him  in  Jeremy  Taylor  (fol,,  London, 
MDCLV.)  a  few  remarks,  such  as  might  befit  adear  old  archbishop  departing  this  life.  When 
I  come  back  to  dress  for  dinner,  the  Archbishop  is  dead  on  my  table  in  five  pages  ;  medicine, 
topography,  theology,  all  right ;  and  Jones  has  gone  home  to  his  family  some  hours.    Sir  Chris- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


179 


topher  is  the  architect  of  St.  Paul's.  He  has  not  laid  the  stones  or  carried  up  the  mortar. 
There  is  a  great  deal  of  carpenter's  and  joiner's  work  in  novels  which  surely  a  smart  profes- 
sional hand  might  supply.  A  smart  professional  hand  !  I  give  you  my  word,  there  seem  to 
me  parts  of  novels — let  us  say  the  love-making,  the  "business,"  the  villain  in  the  cupboard 
and  so  forth — which  1  should  like  to  order  John  Footman  to  take  in  hand,  as  I  desire  him  to 
bring  the  coals  and  polish  the  boots.  Ask  ine  indeed  to  pop  a  robber  under  a  bed  ;  to  hide  a 
will  which  shall  be  forthcoming  in  due  season  ;  or  at  my  time  of  life  to  write  a  namby-pamby 
love-conversation  between  Emily  and  Lord  Arthur!  I  feel  ashamed  of  myself,  and  espe- 
cially when  my  business  obliges  me  to  do  the  love-passages,  I  blush  so,  though  qilite  alone  in 
my  study,  that  you  would  fancy  I  was  going  off  in  an  apoplexy. 

This  is  all  very  good.  Yet  it  is  doubtful  if  Thackeray  could  have  worked 
with  either  an  assistant  or  a  collaborator.  His  genius  was  too  individual,  his 
personality  too  marked.  The  modern  Anglo-Saxon,  moreover,  is  too  shy,  too 
reticent,  to  unbosom  himself  even  to  a  single  confidant  with  the  unreserve 
which  collaboration  calls  for.  Hence  in  England  we  have  not  many  instances 
of  successful  collaboration  since  the  time  of  Queen  Elizabeth. 

There  are,  however,  a  few  notable  ones  in  dramatic  literature,  besides  the 
one  afforded  by  Besant  and  Rice  in  fiction.  The  first  successful  English  bur- 
lesque, and  the  longest-lived  of  its  tribe,  was  "The  Rehearsal,"  written  by 
the  Duke  of  Buckingham,  with  more  or  less  assistance  from  Sprat,  afterwards 
Bishop  of  Rochester,  Martin  Clifford,  and  Hudibras  Butler.  Colman  and 
Garrick  combined  to  produce  one  of  the  most  popular  of  English  plays, 
"The  Clandestine  Marriage."  Each,  however,  claimed  almost  the  entire 
credit  of  the  production.  Colman's  story  was  that  "Garrick  composed  two 
acts,  which  he  sent  to  me,  desiring  me  to  put  them  together,  or  do  what  I 
would  with  them.  I  did  put  them  together,  for  I  put  them  in  the  fire,  and 
wrote  the  play  myself"  Garrick,  however,  was  able  to  produce  the  first 
draught  of  the  comedy,  showing  that  the  plot  was  almost  entirely  his  own,  and 
he  forced  Colman  to  acknowledge  that  the  character  of  Lord  Ogleby  was 
Garrick's,  as  well  as  the  levee  scene  and  the  whole  of  the  fifth  act. 

Pope,  in  his  "  Essay  on  Man,"  is  reported  by  Lord  Bathurst,  apnd  Hugh 
Blair,  to  have  merely  turned  into  verse  a  prose  essay  furnished  him  by  Boling- 
broke.  The  latter  is  further  said  to  have  openly  laughed  at  the  poet  for 
adopting  and  advocating  ]5rinciples  at  variance  with  his  known  convictions. 
When  Pope's  "  Iliad"  came  up,  an  epigram  found  its  way  into  print, — 

Pope  came  off  clean  with  Homer,  but  they  say 
Broome  went  before  and  kindly  swept  the  way. 

But  this  is  not  true  of  the  "  Iliad  ;"  what  Broome  did  for  that  work  was 
merely  to  supply  a  portion  of  the  notes.  With  the  "  Odyssey"  it  was  differ- 
ent. Pope,  encouraged  by  the  overwhelming  success  of  the  former  work, 
determined  to  take  fortune  at  the  flood.  Learning  that  Broome  and  Fenton 
were  at  work  on  a  version  of  the  "Odyssey,"  he  prevailed  on  them  to  join 
him,  and  the  town  was  informed  that  Mr.  Pope  had  undertaken  a  translation, 
and  had  engaged  the  two  friends  to  help  him.  His  "  mercenaries,"  as  Johnson 
rudely  calls  them,  had  a  much  larger  share  in  the  performance  than  "  Mr. 
Pope  the  undertaker"  allowed  the  world  to  suspect. 

The  literary  partnership  of  Addison  and  Steele  was  hardly  more  than  a 
joint  editorship  of  the  first  of  weekly  journals,  save  in  the  character  of  Sir 
Roger  de  Coverley,  a  production  whose  genesis  has  been  thus  summed  up: 
"  The  outlines  were  imagined  and  partly  traced  by  Steele  ;  the  coloring  and 
more  prominent  lineaments  elaborated  by  Joseph  Addison ;  some  of  the 
background  put  in  by  Eustace  Budgell ;  and  the  portrait  defaced  by  either 
Steele  or  Tickell  with  a  deformity  which  Addison  repudiated." 

Come  early  and  avoid  the  rush,  an  American  colloquialism,  first  used 
in  all  seriousness  by  advertisers  who  wished  to  impress  the  public  with  the 


l8o  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

popularity  of  their  wares  and  the  consequent  extent  of  their  business,  subse- 
quently caught  up  and  applied  humorously,  as  in  the  extract, — 

A  horse-jockey  in  Aroostook  County,  Maine,  repented  of  his  sharp  practices,  joined  the 
church,  and  announced  that  if  he  had  taken  unfair  advantage  of  any  one  in  a  horse-trade  he 
would  be  glad  to  square  things  by  paying  the  diflerence  in  cash.  It  was  scarcely  daylight  the 
next  morning  when  a  neighbor,  who  considered  that  he  had  been  "  roasted"  in  a  swap  with 
the  newly-converted  jockey,  made  his  appearance  at  the  latter's  door,  remarking  that  he  had 
"  come  early  to  avoid  the  rush."     The  jockey  promptly  settled  the  case.— A'.  Y.  Sun. 

Come  off!  This  bit  of  American  slang,  used  imperatively  and  meaning 
"  Desist !"  or  "  Cease  !"  is  relatively  new  to  modern  use.  It  is  startling,  there- 
fore, to  find  that  it  occurs  in  Chaucer's  "  Parliament  of  Fowles"  (v.  494)  in 
exactly  the  modern  sense.  The  birds  grow  tired  of  listening  to  a  long  dis- 
cussion among  the  young  eagles  ;  and  so  at  last, — 

"  Come  of !"  they  cryde,  "  alias  !  you  will  us  shende  !" 

Coming  events  cast  their  shado^vs  before.  This  line  in  "  Lochiel's 
Warning,"  by  Thomas  Campbell,  has  some  kinship  with  a  sentiment  in 
Schiller's  "  Wallenstein,"  thus  translated  by  Coleridge  : 

Often  do  the  spirits 
Of  great  events  stride  on  before  the  events. 
And  in  to-day  already  walks  to-morrow. 

Act  v.,  Sc.  I. 

Shelley  in  his  "  Defence  of  Poetry"  also  has  a  very  similar  thought :  "  Poets 
are  the  hierophants  of  an  unapprehended  inspiration;  the  mirrors  of  the 
gigantic  shadows  which  futurity  casts  upon  the  present."  Cicero  in  his 
"  Divinatio"  had  already  said,  "  Thus,  in  the  beginning  the  world  was  so 
made  that  certain  signs  come  before  certain  events"  (lib.  i.  cap.  52).  Mr.  H.  H. 
Breen  in  his  "Modern  English  Literature"  thinks  that  Campbell  had  in  mind 
Leibnitz's  remark,  "  Le  present  est  gros  de  I'avenir,"  and  the  comments  made 
thereupon  by  Isaac  D'Israeli.  The  latter,  referring  to  Leibnitz's  words,  says, 
"The  multitude  live  only  among  the  shadows  of  things  in  the  appearances  of 
the  present."  And  in  another  passage  he  couples  the  word  shadow  with  the 
word  precursor  in  such  a  manner  (so  thinks  Mr.  Breen)  as  to  express  in  the 
clearest  language  the  whole  thought  attributed  to  Campbell.  The  ordinary 
relation  of  a  shadow  to  the  substance  by  which  it  is  formed  is  that  of  a  fol- 
lower : 

Envy  will  merit  as  a  shade  pursue. 

But,  like  the  shadow,  proves  the  substance  true  ; 

whereas,  in  the  language  of  D'Israeli,  the  shadow  is  made  to  precede  the 
substance.  These  are  his  words  :  "This  volume  of  Reynolds  seems  to  have 
been  the  shadow  and  precursor  of  one  of  the  most  substantial  of  literary 
monsters,  the  '  Histrio-Mastix,  or  Player's  Scourge,'  of  Prynne,  in  1633."  A 
very  ingenious  bit  of  reasoning,  but  it  does  more  credit  to  Mr.  Breen's  casu- 
istical powers  than  to  his  critical  integrity.  Campbell,  in  short,  with  the  fine 
alchemy  of  genius,  touched  a  commonplace  and  turned  it  into  poetry. 

Company.  A  man  is  knovrn  by  the  company  he  keeps,  a  familiar 
English  proverb  which  finds  its  analogue  in  most  other  languages.  Its  prob- 
able original  is  in  Euripides  :  "  Every  man  is  like  the  company  he  is  wont 
to  keep"  [Phceniss.,  Fragment  809).  Cervantes  has  it  in  this  form  :  "  Tell  me 
thy  company,  and  I  will  tell  thee  what  thou  art"  {Don  Quixote,  Part  ii.,  ch. 
xxiii.).  Goethe  says,  "  Tell  me  your  companions,  and  I  will  tell  you  what  you 
are  ;  tell  me  what  you  busy  yourself  about,  I  will  tell  you  what  may  be  ex- 
pected of  you"  (Reimer  :  Table-Talk).  The  French  proverb  is,  "  Dis-moi  qui 
tu  hantes,  je  te  dirai  qui  tu  es."     And  the  German, — 

Willst  du  erkennen  den  Mann, 

So  schau  seine  Gesellschaft  an. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  l8l 

The  effects  of  association  are  pointed  out  in  the  familiar  proverb,  "Evil 
communications  corrupt  good  manners,"  and  its  Euripidean  corollary,  "The 
company  of  just  and  righteous  men  is  better  than  wealth  and  a  rich  estate." 
(^gt'2ts.  Fragment  7.) 

Comparisons  are  odious,  a  proverb  found  in  the  folk-literature  of  most 
European  nations.  That  it  was  in  common  use  at  the  time  of  Shakespeare 
is  evident  from  Dogberry's  malapropism  (to  coin  a  much-needed  word)  in 
"Much  Ado  About  Nothing"  (1600),  "Comparisons  are  odorous."  The  fun 
of  this  sentence  would  be  lost  upon  an  audience  that  was  not  familiar  with 
the  adage.  In  English  literature  proper  the  phrase  has  been  traced  back  as 
far  as  Lyly's  "  Euphues"  (1579),  although  it  is  evident  it  was  in  common  use 
long  before  Lyly's  time,  since  Sir  John  Fortescue  (who  died  about  14S5),  in 
his  "  De  Laudibus  Legum  Angliae"  (fol.  42,  ed.  1616),  comparing  the  common 
and  the  civil  law  of  the  realm,  says,  "Comparationes  vero,  Princeps,  ut  te 
aliquando  dixisse  recolo  odios£E  reputantur."  John  Lydgate  (1375-1461),  in 
his  "Bochas"  (Book  iii.  ch.  viii.),  says,  "Comparisons  do  ofttime  great  griev- 
ance." Cervantes,  in  "Don  Qui.xote"  (Part  ii.,  ch.  xxiii.),  says,  "  Ya  sabe  que 
toda  comparacion  es  odiosa."  The  second  part  of  "  Don  Quixote"  was  not 
published  till  fifteen  years  after  "  Much  Ado  About  Nothing,"  but  Cervantes 
seems  to  be  quoting  a  well-known  proverb;  and,  in  fact,  the  "Dictionary  of 
Proverbs"  of  the  Spanish  Academy  (1S03)  gives  "Toda  comparacion  es  odi- 
osa" as  a  proverb  quoted  by  Cervantes,  and  "  probably  not  original  with  him." 
The  Italians  and  the  French  have  similar  sayings.  The  antiquity  of  the 
Spanish  and  Italian  proverbs  is  unknown,  but  the  French  undoubtedly  goes 
back  as  far  as  the  thirteenth  century,  for  Leroux  de  Lincy,  in  "  Le  Livre  des 
Proverbes  Fran9ais"  (vol.  i.  p.  276),  says  that  in  a  manuscript  collection  of 
that  date  he  found  these :  "  Comparaisons  sont  haineuses,"  "  Comparaison 
n'est  pas  raison." 

Compliments.  Vanity  rules  the  world,  and  the  value  of  that  subtle  titil- 
lation  of  vanity  which  we  call  a  compliment  has  been  recognized  by  all  men 
of  the  world.  We  are  told  that  Canute  rebuked  his  courtiers  for  their  flat- 
tery, but  it  is  not  written  that  he  punished  them.  Probably  he  secretly  re- 
warded those  who  pictured  him  as  an  anticipatory  Mrs.  Partington,  and  who, 
in  spite  of  the  evidence,  held  on  to  their  belief  that  he  was  more  than  a  match 
for  the  Atlantic  Ocean.  The  stomach  of  kings  has  never  proved  queasy  under 
any  load  of  flattery,  however  indigestible  it  might  appear  to  his  rivals. 
Bacon,  indeed,  held  that  princes  ought  in  courtesy  to  be  praised  without 
regard  to  their  deservings,  since  by  investing  them  with  all  possible  virtues 
their  panegyrists  showed  them  what  they  should  be.  But,  alas  !  we  should 
be  flattering  the  flatterers  did  we  attribute  to  them  motives  so  noble. 

To  look  back  upon  the  compliments  showered  upon  Elizabeth,  James  I., 
and  Charles  II.— the  most  berhymed  and  bepraised  of  English  sovereigns — 
is  to  be  filled  with  nausea.  It  is  humiliating  to  find  even  Spenser  and  Shake- 
speare bending  their  lordly  knees  to  that  terrible  virago  known  as  Good  Queen 
Bess.  Spenser  applied  the  epithet  "  angel  face"  to  her  strong,  masculine, 
but  unattractive  face."  Shakespeare  praised  her  chastity, — the  chastity  of 
one  whose  reputation  had  at  least  been  questioned,— and  spoke  of  her  who 
was  always  having  some  little  affair  with  a  man  as  walking 
In  maiden  meditation  fancy  free. 

Both  were  outdone  by  Drayton  : 

Of  silver  was  her  forehead  high  ; 
Her  brows  two  bows  of  ebony. 
Her  tresses  trussed  were  to  behold 
Frizzled  and  fine  in  fringed  gold. 
16 


l82  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Two  lips  wrought  out  of  ruby  rock. 
Like  leaves  to  shut  and  to  unlock ; 
As  portal  door  to  princes'  chamber, 
A  golden  tongue  in  mouth  of  amber. 
Her  eyes,  God  wot,  what  stuff  they  are  ! 
1  durst  be  sworn  each  is  a  star. 
As  clear  and  bright  as  wont  to  guide 
The  pilot  in  his  winter  tide ; 

and  by  Sir  John  Davies,  who  rang  the  changes  upon  his  queen's  beauty,  wis- 
dom, wit,  virtue,  justice,  and   magnanimity  in   six-and-twenty  specimens  of 
acrostic  verse,  declaring  in  one  of  his  hymns  to  Astrasa, — 
Right  glad  am  I  that  I  now  live, 
E'en  in  those  days  whereto  you  give 

Great  happiness  and  glory. 
If  after  you  I  should  be  born, 
No  doubt  I  should  my  birthday  scorn. 
Admiring  your  sweet  story  ! 

James  I.  was  informed  that  he  was  as  upright  as  David,  as  wise  as  Solomon, 
and  as  godly  as  Josiah.  When  he  returned  on  a  short  visit  to  Scotland,  the 
deputy-clerk  of  Edinburgh  assured  him  that  the  very  hills  and  groves,  accus- 
tomed to  be  refreshed  with  the  dew  of  his  presence,  had,  in  his  absence,  re- 
fused to  put  on  their  wonted  apparel,  and  with  pale  looks  bespoke  their 
misery  at  his  departure  from  the  land.  But  the  "wisest  fool  in  Christen- 
dom" was  not  always  caught  by  this  sort  of  chaff.  In  a  Shrewsbury  address 
to  James  I.,  his  loyal  subjects  expressed  a  wish  that  he  might  reign  over  them 
as  long  as  sun,  moon,  and  stars  should  endure.  "  I  suppose,  then,"  observed 
the  monarch,  "  they  mean  my  successor  to  reign  by  candle-light." 

Ben  Jonson  alliteratively  styled  the  First  Charles  the  best  of  monarchs,  mas- 
ters, and  men.  That  seems  to  go  pretty  far.  But  it  was  nothing  to  the 
compliments  which  the  courtiers  and  flatterers  of  the  Restoration  paid  to 
Charles  II.  That  Merry  Monarch  was  frequently  informed  that  he  was 
God's  pattern  to  mankind, — indeed,  so  excellent  an  understudy  for  the  Deity 
that  while  he  blessed  the  earth  there  was  small  need  of  the  great  Protago- 
nist. There  is  an  exquisite  but  unconscious  satire  in  some  verses  by  a 
gentleman  named  Duke,  written  when  this  paragon  had  flown  to  heaven,  to  be 
Welcomed  by  all  kind  spirits  and  saints  above, 
Who  see  themselves  in  him,  and  their  own  likeness  love ! 

Here  is  another  gem  from  the  same  poem : 

Good  Titus  could,  but  Charles  could  never  say. 
Of  all  his  royal  life  he  lost  a  day. 

Over  in  France  it  was  even  worse.  The  very  clergy  played  the  sycophantic 
courtier.  From  the  pulpit  members  of  that  holy  profession  were  not  ashamed 
to  load  the  royal  profligate  with  panegyrics.  They  knew,  and  they  knew  that 
their  hearers  knew,  of  the  scandals  of  his  court,  but  no  one  raised  a  syllable 
of  protest  when  the  most  godlike  qualities  were  attributed  to  the  Grand 
Monarque,  when  he  was  described  as  the  one  object  upon  which  the  eyes  of 
the  visible  and  invisible  world  were  alike  bent  with  approving  wonder.  Not 
only  the  universe,  but  heaven  and  the  angels  were  assumed  to  be  mainly 
occupied  in  watching  the  triumphs  and  magnanimity  of  Louis  and  his  generals. 

We  have  all  of  us  laughed  at  the  story  of  Baron  Thenard,  who,  while  giving 
a  chemical  lecture  before  Charles  X.,  said,  "These  gases  are  going  to  have 
the  honor  of  combining  before  your  majesty."  A  still  more  snobbish  phrase 
occurs  in  one  of  De  Bussy-Rabutin's  letters.  St.-Aignan  had  lost  one  of  his 
sons.  To  console  him,  Louis  XIV.  granted  him  some  favor.  Thereupon 
De  Bussy-Rabutin  wrote,  "The  favors  accorded  you  by  the  king  show  me  that 
his  majesty  is  worthy  of  the  service  of  all  the  earth.  It  is  only  near  him  that  a 
parent  can  find  so7ne  pleasure  \qitelque  douceur]  in  losing  his  children." 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  183 

From  the  cradle  to  the  grave,  indeed,  Louis  XIV.  was  surrounded  by  flat- 
terers. In  the  Imperial  Library  of  St.  Petersburg  there  is  a  sheet  of  paper, 
on  which  as  a  boy  he  had  transcribed  some  half  a  dozen  times,  in  a  large 
unformed  hand,  a  lesson  set  by  his  master,  "  Homage  is  due  to  kings  ;  they  do 
what  they  like."  And  in  his  old  age,  complaining  at  dinner  of  the  incon- 
venience of  having  no  teeth,  "  Teeth  ?"  cried  the  Cardinal  d'Estrees  :  "  who 
has  any  i"'  When  he  asked  Mignard,  who  was  painting  his  portrait  for  the 
tenth  time,  whether  he  did  not  look  older,  the  artist  adroitly  said,  "Sire,  it  is 
true  that  I  see  some  more  victories  on  the  forehead  of  your  majesty." 

Then  there  is  the  sublime  7not  of  the  Abbe  de  Polignac,  when  the  king 
kindly  expressed  his  fears  that  the  courtier  was  being  soaked  through.  "  Sire," 
replied  the  abbe,  "the  rain  of  Marly  does  not  wet !"  But  the  story  is  some- 
times told  in  another  way,  and  the  phrase  put  into  the  mouth  of  the  king  him- 
self as  a  rebuke  to  a  cardinal  who  followed  him  grudgingly  through  a  shower. 

Madame  de  Remusat  tells  us  in  her  Memoires  that  though  she  found  no  one 
sufficiently  courtier-like  to  maintain  that  it  did  not  rain  when  Napoleon  pre- 
sented the  eagles  at  the  Champ  de  Mars,  shortly  after  his  coronation  she 
met  innumerable  people  who  declared  that  they  had  not  been  wetted,  'she 
neglects,  however,  to  record  Napoleon's  philosophic  comment  to  his  Minister 
of  Finance,  as  the  rain  came  pouring  down  in  barrels,  reducing  silks  and 
velvets  to  pulp  :  "  There's  work  for  the  weavers  of  Lyons  !" 

When  the  Grand  Monarque  asked  what  time  it  was  {"  Quelle  heure  est-il .?"), 
he  was  answered,  "  Whatever  time  your  majesty  desires"  ("II  est  I'heure  que 
Votre  Majeste  desire"). 

A  very  curious  modern  parallel  to  this  famous  phrase  occurs,  by  the  way,  in 
Jager's  "Travels  in  the  Philippines"  (1875)  : 

If  a  traveller  gets  on  good  terms  with  the  priests,  he  seldom  meets  with  any  annoyances. 
Upon  one  occasion  I  wished  to  make  a  little  excursion  directly  after  lunch,  and  at  a  quarter! 
past  eleven  everything  was  ready  for  a  start;  when  I  happened  to  say  that  it  was  a  pity  to 
have  to  wait  three-quarters  of  an  hour  for  the  meal.  In  a  minute  or  two  twelve  o'clock  struck  • 
all  work  in  the  vill.ige  ceased,  and  we  sat  down  to  table  ;  it  was  noon.  A  message  had  beeii 
sent  to  the  village  bell-ringer  that  the  Senor  Padre  thought  he  must  be  asleep,  and  that  it 
must  be  long  past  twelve,  as  the  Senor  Padre  was  hungry.  "  II  est  I'heure  que  votre 
majeste  desire." — P.  117. 

Even  children  adopted  the  language  of  the  courts.  What  could  be  better 
than  the  answer  of  the  young  Due  de  Maine,  the  son  of  Louis,  when  his  royal 
father  chid  him  for  not  making  better  progress  in  his  studies  ?  "  Sire,  I  do  not 
learn  more  because  my  tutor  gives  me  a  holiday  for  each  victory  of  your 
majesty  !" 

Louis  himself,  the  much-complimented,  knew  bow  to  compliment.  "  Sire,  I 
crave  your  majesty's  pardon  if  I  keep  you  waiting,"  said  the  gouty  old  warrior 
the  Prince  de  Conde.  "My  cousin,"  replied  Louis,  "do  not  hurry.  It  is 
impossible  to  move  quickly  when  one  is  loaded  with  laurels." 

Of  famous  compliments  paid  to  the  fair  sex,  the  supply  is  so  large  and  daz- 
zling that  it  is  a  matter  o'f  no  small  difficulty  to  pick  out  the  brightest  gems; 
but  if  the  following  one  was  unlooked  for,  it  certainly  deserves  a  place  among 
the  best.  Fontenelle,  when  ninety  years  old,  passed  by  Madame  Helvetius 
without  perceiving  her.  "Ah!"  cr'ied  the  lady,  "is  that  your  gallantry.'' 
To  pass  before  me  without  even  looking  at  me  !"  Now,  that  was  a  very  neat 
way  of  reminding  him  of  her  presence  without  alluding  to  the  semi-blindness 
that  afflicted  him.  But  he  proved  himself  more  than  her  match.  "  If  I  had 
looked  at  you,  madame,"  replied  the  old  beau,  "  I  could  never  have  passed 
you  at  all."  As  neat  a  mot  was  uttered  by  General  Romaine.  Meeting 
Lady  de  Brientz,  whcmi  he  had  known  and  admired  in  the  loveliness  of  her 
youth,  he  commenced  complimenting  her.  "  You  forget  that  I  am  an  old 
woman,"  she  said  at  length,     "  Madame,"  returned  the  gallant  soldier,  "  when 


1 84  HAhWY-BOOK  OF 

fmr  eyes  are  dazzled  by  a  diamond,  it  never  occurs  to  us  to  ask  a  mineralogist 
for  its  history."  It  is  an  old  reproach  against  Orientals  that  they  are  unable 
to  say  pretty  things  to  ladies  ;  but  a  daughter  of  Louis  XIV.,  the  Princess  de 
Conti,  inspired  a  Moorish  ambassador  with  as  gracefully  turned  a  compliment 
as  can  be  imagined.  She  had  railed  against  the  Mohammedan  custom  of 
polygamy,  when  the  Moor  thus  defended  the  practice.  "  Madame,"  he  said, 
"  a  plurality  of  wives  is  allowed  among  us  because,  in  our  country,  we  must 
seek  in  several  women  the  charming  qualities  which  are  here  to  be  found  in 
one."  The  poet  Moore,  who  never  let  slip  an  opportunity  of  complimenting 
the  fair  sex,  was  in  the  present  instance  hardly  kind  to  the  husband.  Being 
one  day  in  the  company  of  a  beautiful  woman,  who  wore  on  her  bosom  a 
miniature  likeness  of  her  spouse,  wiio  was  the  reverse  of  handsome,  he  was 
asked  by  her  "  whom  he  thought  the  portrait  resembled."  "  I  think,"  said 
the  poet,  "  it  is  like  the  Saracen's  Head  on  Snowhill." 

A  bold  stroke  to  obtain  liberty  by  means  of  a  compliment  was  that  made 
by  M.  de  Maupertuis.  A  prisoner  in  Austria  during  the  Seven  Years'  War, 
he  was  presented  to  the  Empress,  who  said  to  him,  "  You  know  the  Queen 
of  Sweden,  sister  to  the  King  of  Prussia .?"  "  Yes,  madame."  "I  am  told 
that  she  is  the  most  beautiful  princess  in  the  world."  "  Madame,"  replied 
the  cunning  prisoner,  "  I  always  thought  so  until  to-day."  This  was  as  diplo- 
matic as  the  words  and  action  of  the  Marquis  Medina,  a  Spanish  nobleman. 
Queen  Elizabeth,  admiring  his  elegance,  and  complimenting  him  thereon, 
begged  to  know  who  possessed  the  heart  of  so  accomplished  a  cavalier. 
"Madame,"  said  he,  "a  lover  risks  too  much  on  such  an  occasion  ;  but  your 
majesty's  will  is  law.  Excuse  me,  however,  if  I  fear  to  name  her,  but  re- 
quest your  majesty's  acceptance  of  her  portrait."     He  sent  her  a  looking-glass. 

Talleyrand  was'a  master  of  the  art  of  gallantry.  He  knew  how  to  extricate 
himself  very  gracefully  from  the  most  embarrassing  dilemmas.  Once  Madame 
de  Stael,  wild  with  jealousy  at  the  dominion  which  his  future  wife,  Madame 
Grant,  was  establishing  over  his  mind,  flew  at  him,  overwhelmed  him  with 
reproaches,  and  concluded  with,  "  So  you  don't  love  me  any  more  V  "  But," 
he  insisted,  "I  do  love  you."  "  Non  !  non  !"  she  cried,  and  then,  as  if  to 
test  the  truth  of  the  assertion,  suddenly  exclaimed,  "  You  love  ine  .?  Come, 
now  :  if  Madame  Grant  and  I  both  fell  into  the  water,  which  would  you 
save  ?"     "Ah,  madame,  ^fz^  know  how  to  swim,"  was  the  wily  answer. 

In  England,  few  men  have  ever  surpassed  Sydney  Smith  in  the  art  of  deli- 
cate flattery.  On  meeting  two  pretty  women,  Mrs.  Tighe  and  Mrs.  Cufie,  he 
gallantly  exclaimed,  "  Ah,  there  you  are, — the  «(^that  every  one  would  wear, 
the  tie  that  no  one  would  loose."  A  beautiful  girl  walking  in  his  garden  ex- 
claimed, on  noticing  a  plant  which  was  in  some  way  injured,  "  Oh,  Mr.  Smith, 
this  pea  will  never  come  to  perfection  !"  "  Permit  me,  then,"  said  the  host, 
taking  her  hand,  "  to  lead  Perfection  to  the  pea." 

Very  graceful,  too,  was  his  acceptance  of  an  invitation  from  Dickens  : 

My  dear  Dickens, — I  accept  your  obliging  invitation  contiitionally.  If  I  am  invited  by 
any  man  of  greater  genius  than  yourself,  or  one  by  whose  works  I  have  been  more  completely 
interested,  I  will  repudiate  you,  and  dine  with  the  more  splendid  phenomenon  of  the  two. 


But  this  letter  finds  its  parallel  in  the  compliment  paid  by  Lord  Clarendon 
to  Sir  Matthew  Hale.  Handing  to  Sir  Matthew  the  commission  for  the  chief- 
justiceship.  Clarendon  very  gracefully  told  him  that  "if  the  king  could  have 
found  out  an  honester  and  fitter  man  for  that  employment,  he  would  not  have 
advanced  him  to  it." 

A  sarcasm  may  often  wear  the  garb  of  a  compliment,  and  be  taken  for  one 
by  the  simple-witted.  The  Abbe  Voisenon  once  made  a  complaint  that  he 
was  unduly  charged  with  the  absurd  sayings  of  others.  "  Monsieur  I'Abbe," 
replied  D'Alembert,  "  on  ne  prete  qu'aux  riches." 


LITERARY  CURIOSl'^H^,^  185 


Louis  XIV.,  who,  like  many  humbler  rhymesters,  somewhat  overrated  his 
poetical  powers,  showed  a  copy  of  verses  to  Boileau,  and  asked  his  candid 
opinion  of  them.  "  Ah,  sire,"  said  the  poet,  "  I  am  more  convinced  than  ever 
that  nothing  is  impossible  to  your  majesty  :  you  desired  to  write  some  poor 
rhymes,  and  you  have  succeeded  in  making  them  positively  detestable !" 

But  the  sarcasm  is  often  unintentional,  as  in  the  case  of  the  gentleman  who 
was  complimenting  Madame  Uenis  on  her  acting  as  Ygaire.  "  Nay,"  said  the 
lady,  "  an  actress,  to  play  the  part  well,  should  be  young  and  beautiful."  "  Oh, 
no  ;  you  are  a  proof  to  the  contrary."  Equally  awkward  and  equally  well 
meant  was  the  remark  of  M.  Lalande  when  seated  at  dinner  between  Madame 
Recamier  and  Madame  de  Staei.  "  How  happy  I  am  to  find  myself  seated 
between  wit  and  beauty!"  "And  without  possessing  either,"  was  the  Staei's 
smart  rejoinder,  A  similar  remark  under  similar  circumstances  is  attributed 
to  the  Due  de  Laval,  but  in  this  story  the  retort  from  Corinne  is  said  to  have 
been,  "  That  is  the  first  compliment  ever  paid  to  my  face  !" 

The  following  story  is  told  in  illustration  of  East-Indian  politeness.  A 
judge,  who  was  a  very  bad  shot,  had  been  out  for  a  day's  sport,  and  on  his 
return  the  man  who  went  with  him  was  asked,  "  Well,  how  did  the  judge 
shoot  to-day?"  "Oh,"  he  replied,  "the  judge  shoot  beautifully,  but  heaven 
was  very  merciful  to  the  birds  !" 

The  interchanged  compliments  between  the  members  of  mutual  admiration 
societies  have  frequently  pointed  the  pens  of  the  satirists.  One  does  not  know 
whether  the  old  fratricidal  strife  among  authors  was  not  preferable  to  the 
present  more  or  less  hypocritical  log-rolling.  A  single  instance  must  suffice. 
When  Bulvver  and  Dickens,  on  July  29,  1865,  celebrated  at  Knebworth  the 
establishment  of  the  short-lived  Guild  of  Literature  and  Art,  the  Saturday 
Review  characterized  the  proceedings  as  "a  wonderful  match  of  mutual 
admiration  and  laudation."  Bulwer  called  Dickens  "a  resplendent  ornament 
of  literature."  Dickens  replied  that  Bulwer  was  "the  brightest  ornament  of 
the  literary  class."  Bulwer  congratulated  the  county  of  Herts  on  the  honor 
of  entertaining  so  distinguished  a  visitor.  Dickens  congratulated  himself  on 
being  in  the  house  of  so  great  a  man,  and  averred  that  the  county  was  "  already 
the  envy  of  every  other  county  in  England"  in  possessing  that  man.  The 
author  of  "  Pelham"  eulogized  the  author  of  "  Pickwiclc"  as  one  "  who  has 
united  an  unrivalled  mastery  over  the  laughter  and  the  tears  of  millions  with 
as  genial  and  sweet  a  philosophy  as  ever  made  the  passions  move  at  the  com- 
mand of  virtue."  But  the  author  of  "  Pickwick"  would  not  be  distanced  in 
the  noble  and  dignified  contest.  "Ladies  and  gentlemen,  you  know  very 
well  that  when  the  health,  life,  and  beauty  now  overflowing  these  halls  shall 
have  fled,  crowds  of  people  will  come  to  see  the  place  where  our  distinguished 
host  lived  and  wrote."  The  comment  of  the  Saturday  Review  is  a  very  sen- 
sible one.  "This,"  it  says,  "is  what  comes  of  'bringing  men  of  letters 
more  familiarly  together.'  One  writer  actually  reports  that  Mr.  Dickens  made 
a  few  graceful  and  dignified  remarks.  How  a  man  is  to  be  envied  who  can 
find  only  grace  and  dignity  in  such  an  outpouring  of  rancid  adulation  !  And 
no  doubt  the  minnows  make  a  few  graceful  and  dignified  remarks  to  one 
another,  just  as  the  Tritons  do.  So  that  a  Guild  of  Literature  and  Art 
means  an  institution  where,  on  paying  your  subscription  punctually,  you  are 
entitled  to  be  called  by  the  others  who  have  also  paid  their  subscriptions  'a 
resplendent  ornament,'  or  any  other  complimentary  name  to  which  you  have 
a  mind." 

Concatenation,  or  chain  verse,  a  form  of  poetic  ingenuity  in  which  the 
last  word  or  phrase  in  each  line  forms  the  opening  of  the  succeeding  line. 
Its  invention  is  ascribed  to  the  French  poet  Lasphrise.  The  following  is  from 
his  pen : 

16* 


l86  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Falloit-U  que  le  ciel  me  rendit  amoureux, 
Amoureux,  jouissant  d'une  beaute  craintive, 
Craintive  i  recevoir  la  douceur  excessive. 
Excessive  au  plaisir  qui  rend  Tamant  heureux? 
Heureux  si  nous  avions  quelques  paisibles  lieux, 
Lieux  oil  plus  surement  I'ami  fidele  arrive, 
Arrive  sans  soupjon  de  quelque  ame  attentive. 
Attentive  4  vouloir  nous  surprendre  tous  deux. 

Here  is  an  anonymous  English  example,  neither  better  nor  worse  than  a 
dozen  others  : 

The  longer  life,  the  more  offence ; 

The  more  ofifence,  the  greater  pain ; 
The  greater  pain,  the  less  defence ; 

The  less  defence,  the  lesser  gain  : 
The  loss  of  gain  long  ill  doth  try. 
Wherefore,  come.  Death,  and  let  me  die. 

The  shorter  life,  less  count  I  find  ; 

The  less  account,  the  sooner  made  ; 
The  count  soon  made,  the  merrier  mind; 

The  merrier  mind  doth  thought  invade : 
Short  life,  in  truth,  this  thing  doth  try. 
Wherefore,  come.  Death,  and  let  me  die. 

Come,  gentle  Death,  the  ebb  of  care ; 

The  ebb  of  care,  the  flood  of  life ; 
The  flood  of  life,  the  joyful  fare ; 

The  joyful  fare,  the  end  of  strife : 
The  end  of  strife,  that  thing  wish  I, 
Wherefore,  come.  Death,  and  let  me  die. 

In  German,  Koerner's  magnificent  "  Sword  Song"  makes  a  modified  use  of 
concatenation  at  the  beginning  and  end  of  every  stanza. 

Confidence  Game,  Trick,  Dodge,  or  Buck,  a  familiar  expression  for  a 
common  trick  whereby  a  clever  sharper  gains  the  confidence  of  a  greenhorn 
in  order  to  cheat  him.  One  of  the  earliest  forms  of  the  trick,  and  probably 
the  one  from  which  it  got  its  name,  is  that  of  inviting  the  victim,  a  perfect 
stranger,  to  come  and  have  a  drink,  over  which  the  swindler  wa.xes  eloquent 
in  praise  of  his  new-found  friend,  expresses  the  utmost  confidence  in  him,  and, 
to  prove  his  sincerity,  intrusts  him  with  pretended  valuables,  claiming  in  re- 
turn a  similar  mark  of  confidence.  Of  course  in  the  end  the  sharper  walks 
off  with  the  real  valuables  of  his  new-found  friend,  and  the  old  ones  he  leaves 
behind  turn  out  to  be  bogus.  The  term  confidence-man  applied  to  one  who 
played  this  game  has  now  been  largely  superseded  by  the  kindred  term 
Bunco-steerer  {q.  v.). 

Conscience.  In  Shakespeare's  "  Richard  III.,"  Act  v.,  Scene  3,  occurs 
the  line, — 

O  coward  conscience,  how  dost  thou  afflict  me ! 

and  a  little  lower  down  in  the  same  speech, — 

My  conscience  hath  a  thousand  several  tongues. 
And  every  tongue  brings  in  a  several  tale. 
And  every  tale  condemns  me  for  a  villain. 
It  is  only  in  Colley  Gibber's  altered  version  that  Richard,  regaining  his 
manhood,  cries  out, — 

Conscience  avaunt  I  Richard's  himself  again  ! 


In  "  Hamlet,"  Shakespeare  says, — 

Thus  conscience  does  make  cowards  of  us  all, 

Act  iii.,  Sc.  I ; 

a   line  which  may  or  may  not  be  a  reminiscence  of  Pilpay's   phrase  in  his 
fable  of  "The  Prince  and  his  Minister,"  "Guilty  consciences  always  make 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1 87 

people  cowards,"  or  of  Publius  Syrus's  maxim  (617),  "A  guilty  conscience 
never  feels  secure,"  which  are  echoed  also  in  the  popular  proverbs  "  A  guilty 
conscience  needs  no  accuser,"  and  "Touch  a  galled  horse  and  he'll  wince" 
(cf.  "  Hamlet,"  "  Let  the  galled  jade  wince,  our  withers  are  unstrung").  Sub- 
stantially the  same  idea  is  expressed  in  the  Biblical  words,  "  The  wicked  flee 
when  no  man  pursueth  :  but  the  righteous  are  bold  as  a  lion"  {Prcrverbs  xxviii.  i). 
"  A  clear  conscience  is  a  sure  card,"  says  Lyly,  in  "  Euphues  and  his  England," 
p.  207  ;  and  Shakespeare  calls  it, — 

A  peace  above  all  earthly  dignities, 
A  still  and  quiet  conscience. 

Henry  VIII.,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  2. 
And  again, — 

What  stronger  breastplate  than  a  heart  untainted  ! 
Thrice  is  he  armed  that  hath  his  quarrel  just. 
And  he  but  naked,  though  locked  up  in  steel, 
Whose  conscience  with  injustice  is  corrupted. 

Henry  VI.,  Part  II.,  Act  iii..  Sc.  2. 
Evidently  imitated  from  Marlowe, — 

I'm  armed  with  more  than  complete  steel, — 
The  justice  of  my  quarrel. 

Lust's  Dominion,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  4. 
And  in  its  turn  imitated  by  Pope  : 

He's  armed  without  that's  innocent  within. 

Epistles,  I.,  Book  i. 

"  Trust  that  man  in  nothing,"  says  Sterne,  "  who  has  not  a  conscience  in 
everything"  (Sennon  XXVII.).  George  Washington  in  one  of  his  school-boy 
copy-books  wrote  or  transcribed  the  commonplace,  hence  become  famous, 
"  Labor  to  keep  alive  in  your  breast  that  little  spark  of  celestial  fire — con- 
science." Numerous  citations  from  poetry  and  prose  would  support  the  gen- 
eral view  that  conscience  is  the  voice  of  nature  or  of  God  speaking  to  the 
heart,  so  long  as  it  is  not  utterly  corrupt.  Montaigne,  however,  asserts  that 
"  the  laws  of  conscience,  which  we  pretend  to  be  derived  from  nature,  pro- 
ceed from  custom"  {Essays:  Of  Cicstom) ;  perhaps  the  first  assertion  of  the 
doctrine  of  the  experimental  philosophers,  which  in  its  latest  form  assumes 
that  conscience  represents  the  accumulated  experiences  of  the  race  inherited 
in  the  form  of  an  instinct. 

Conscious  -water  sa-w  its  God  and  blushed.  There  is  a  story,  told 
sometimes  of  Uryden  when  a  school-boy  at  Westminster,  sometimes  of  an 
anonymous  "school-boy  at  Eton,"  that,  being  required  to  make  a  verse  on  the 
miracle  of  Cana,  he  handed  up  the  single  line, — 

The  conscious  water  saw  its  God  and  blushed. 
But  the  story  has  no  foundation.     The  author  of  the  sentiment  was  Richard 
Crashaw  in  his  Latin  epigram  on  the  miracle.     Here  are  the  Latin  lines  and 
a  translation  by  Aaron  Hill : 

Unde  rubor  vestris,  et  non  sua  purpura,  lymphis? 
Quae  rosa  mirantes  tam  nova  mutat  aquas  ? 
Numen  (conviva;)  prsesens  agnoscite  Numen  ; 
Nympha  pudica  Deum  vidit  et  erubuit. 

When  Christ,  at  Cana's  feast,  by  power  divine, 
Inspired  cold  water  with  the  warmth  of  wine, 
"  See,"  cried  they,  while  in  reddening  tide  it  gushed, 
"  The  bashful  stream  hath  seen  its  God,  and  blushed." 


It  will  be  seen  that  Hill's  line  differs  from  the  familiar  quotation,  and  does 
not  differ  for  the  better.  The  line  in  its  present  form  may  be  found  in  one  of 
Heber's  poems,  without  either  credit  or  acknowledgnient,  and  he  may  have 
first  Englished  it  in  this  way.     A  somewhat  similar  metaphor  is  used  in  an 


1 88  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

anonymous  poem  feigned  to  have  been  presented,  with  a  white  rose,  by  a 
Yorkist  to  a  lady  of  the  Lancastrian  faction  : 

If  this  fair  rose  offend  thy  sight. 

It  on  thy  bosom  wear  ; 
'Twill  blush  to  find  itself  less  white. 

And  turn  Lancastrian  there. 

But  if  thy  ruby  lip  it  spy, 

As  kiss  it  thou  may'st  deign, 
With  envy  pale  'twill  lose  its  dye. 

And  Yorkist  turn  again. 

Consistency's  a  jewel,  a  popular  saying  which  cannot  be  attributed  to 
any  particular  author.  The  proverbial  and  written  literature  of  all  countries 
is  full  of  comparisons  between  virtue  and  jewels.  In  Shakespeare  alone  we 
find  the  following  among  other  instances  : 

Unless  experience  be  a  jewel. 

Merry  Wives  of  Windsor,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  i. 

Good  name  in  man  or  woman,  dear  my  lord. 
Is  the  immediate  jewel  of  their  souls. 

Othello. 

In  1867  some  wag  attempted  to  impose  on  the  public  the  information  that 
this  line  was  from  a  ballad  called  Jolly  Robin  Roughead,  in  "  Murtagh's  '  Col- 
lection  of   Ballads'   (1754)."     The   poet   bewails   the   extravagance  of  dress, 
which  he  considers  the  enormity  of  the  day,  and  makes  Robin  say  to  his  wife, — 
Tush,  tush,  my  lass,  such.thoughts  resign. 

Comparisons  are  cruel! ; 
Fine  pictures  suit  to  frames  as  fine, — 
Consistencie's  a  jewel. 

But  both  the  ballad  and  the  book  turned  out  to  be  ingenious  figments. 

Conspicuous  by  its  absence,  a  phrase  made  popular  in  England  by 
Lord  [uhn  Russell.  In  his  "  Address  to  the  Electors  of  the  City  of  London," 
published  April  6,  1859,  he  said  of  Lord  Derby's  Reform  Bill,  which  had  just 
been  defeated,  "Among  the  defects  of  the  bill,  which  are  numerous,  one  pro- 
vision is  conspicuous  by  its  presence,  and  another  by  its  absence."  The 
expression  was  sharply  criticised,  and  nine  days  later,  in  a  speech  at  London 
Tavern,  he  justified  it  thus  :  "  It  has  been  thought  that  by  a  misnomer,  or  a 
'bull,'  on  my  part,  I  alluded  to  a  provision  as  conspicuous  by  its  absence, — a 
turn  of  phraseology  which  is  not  an  original  expression  of  mine,  but  is  taken 
from  one  of  the  greatest  historians  of  antiquity."  This  great  historian  is 
Tacitus.  In  his  "  Annales,"  lib.  iii.  cap.  76,  describing  the  funeral  of  Junia, 
he  thus  alludes  to  the  absence  of  the  images  of  her  famous  kinsmen  Brutus 
and  Cassius  :  "  Sed  prasfulgebant  Cassius  atque  Brutus  eo  ipso,  quod  effigies 
eorum  non  videbantur"  ("  But  Cassius  and  Brutus  were  the  most  conspicuous, 
for  the  very  reason  that  their  effigies  were  not  seen"). 

J.  Chenier,  in  his  tragedy  of  "Tiberius"  (Act  i.  Scene  i),  translating  the 
expression  into  French,  gave  it  the  form  which  is  familiar  in  English, — 

Brutus  et  Cassius  brillaient  par  leur  absence, — 

but  which  had  already  become  familiar  in  France  through  its  use  by  the  Jan- 
senists  when  their  enemies  had  succeeded  in  securing  the  omission  of  the 
names  of  Pascal  and  Arnauld  from  Perrault's  "  History  of  Illustrious  Men."  It 
was  revived,  too,  in  Talleyrand's  observation  when  some  one  called  his  atten- 
tion to  the  fact  that  Lord  Castlereagh  at  the  Congress  of  Vienna  wore  no 
decorations:  "Ma  foi,  c'est  bien  distingue."  The  latter  story,  however,  is 
doubted  by  historians,  and  the  late  Prince  Paul  Gallitzin  received  from  his 
uncle,  a  member  of  the  Congress,  quite  another  version,— namely,  that  Gallitzm 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  189 

and  Castlereagh  entered  the  council-chamber  together,  and  the  latter,  noticing 
a  gentleman  in  plain  dress,  inquired  who  he  was,  and,  on  being  told,  "Au 
attache  of  the  Russian  embassy,  just  arrived  from  St.  Petersburg,"  exclaimed, 
'■•  Comment !  un  Russe  sans  decorations  !  II  doit  etre  un  honune  bien  dis- 
tingue !" 

Constant  in  nothing  but  inconstancy.     The  context  is  as  follows: 

To  give  the  sex  their  due, 
They  scarcely  are  to  their  own  wishes  true  ; 
They  love,  they  hate,  and  yet  they  know  not  why; 
Constant  in  nothing  but  inconstancy. 

The  antithesis  is  a  very  familiar  one,  both  in  prose  and  in  verse.  Here  are 
a  few  parallel  examples  : 

Fickle  in  everything  else,  the  French  have  been  faithful  in  one  thing  only, — their  love  of 
change. — Alison's  History  of  Europe. 

Naught  may  endure  but  mutability. 

Shelley  :  Mutability. 
Constancy  in  love  is  a  perpetual  inconstancy  which  makes  our  heart  attach  itself  succes- 
sively to  all  the  qualities  of  the  loved  one.     This  constancy  is  but  an  inconstancy  arrested  and 
fi.xed  on  a  single  object. — La  Rochefoucauld  :  Maxims,  175. 
Le  temps,  cette  image  mobile 
De  I'immobile  Etemite. 

J.  B.  Rousseau. 
Et  rien,  afin  que  tout  dure, 
Ne  dure  eternellement. 

Malherbe  :   Odes. 
Since  'tis  Nature's  law  to  change. 
Constancy  alone  is  strange. 

Rochester. 
The  world's  a  scene  of  changes,  and  to  be 
Cbnstant  in  Nature  were  inconstancy. 

Cowley. 
Short  is  the  uncertain  reign  of  pomp  and  mortal  pride : 
New  turns  and  changes  every  day 
Are  of  inconstant  chance  the  constant  arts. 

Earl  of  Surrey. 
That  which  was  fixt  is  fled  away. 
And  what  was  ever  sliding,  that  doth  onely  stay. 

E.  Benlowes  :  translation  from  Janus  Vitalis. 

Cool  of  the  evening.  A  nickname  given  to  Richard  Monckton  Milnes, 
afterwards  Lord  Houghton.  The  story  of  its  origin  is  told  in  various  ways, 
and  the  inventor  of  the  nickname  is  sometimes  Sydney  Smith,  sometimes  Bar- 
ham,  and  sometimes  Count  D'Orsay.  The  most  usual  story  refers  it  to  the 
latter  wag,  and  runs  as  follows.  Young  Milnes  was  at  his  club  late  one  after- 
noon in  company  with  the  count,  when  some  one  proposed  a  call  on  Lady 
Blessington.  "  Oh,  yes,  let's  call,"  chimed  in  the  poet.  "  I'll  go  with  you." 
"  Indeed,"  responded  Count  D'Orsay,  loftily  :  "are  you  acquainted  with  her 
ladyship  ?"  "  No,  but  that's  of  no  consequence.  I'll  accompany  you.  my 
dear  fellow."  "  So  you  shall,  so  you  shall,"  retorted  D'Orsay,  "and  I'll  intro- 
duce you  as  the  Cool  of  the  Evening." 

In  a  letter  to  Lord  Houghton  from  Sydney  Smith,  quoted  below,  the  latter 
expressly  denies  having  ever  used  the  phrase,  and  the  fact  that  Houghton 
had  addressed  a  remonstrance  to  the  clerical  wit  shows  the  falsity  of  all  the 
stories  which  represent  him  as  having  received  the  rebuke  in  person  : 

Dear  Milnes, — Never  lose  your  good  temper,  which  is  one  of  your  best  qualities,  and 
which  has  carried  you  hitherto  safely  through  your  startling  eccentricities.  If  you  turn 
cross  and  touchy,  you  are  a  lost  man.  No  man  can  combine  the  defects  of  opposite  charac- 
ters. The  names  of  "  Cool  of  the  Evening,"  "  London  Assurance,"  and  "  In-I-go  Jones" 
are,  I  give  you  my  word,  not  mine.     They  are  of  no  sort  of  importance ;  they  are  safety- 


1 9©  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

valves,  and  if  you  could  by  paying  sixpence  get  rid  of  them,  you  had  better  keep  your 
money.  You  do  me  but  justice  in  acknowledging  that  I  have  spoken  much  good  of  you. 
I  have  laughed  at  you  for  those  follies  which  I  have  told  you  of  to  your  face  ;  but  no- 
body ha-s  more  readily  and  more  earnestly  asserted  that  you  are  a  very  agreeable,  clever 
man,  with  a  very  good  heart,  unimpeachable  in  all  the  relations  of  life,  and  that  you  amply 
deserve  to  be  retained  in  the  place  to  which  you  had  too  hastily  elevated  yourself  by  man- 
ners unknown  to  our  cold  and  phlegmatic  people.  I  thank  you  for  what  you  say  of  my 
good  nature.  Lord  Dudley,  when  I  took  leave  of  him,  said  to  me,  "  You  have  been  laughing 
at  me  for  the  last  seven  years,  and  you  never  said  anything  which  I  wished  unsaid."  This 
pleased  me.  Ever  yours, 

Sydney  Smith. 

Coon,  a  common  abbreviation  for  raccoon,  is  also  a  slang  term  for  a  negro, 
owing,  perhaps,  to  his  fondness  for  the  animal.  In  American  politics,  coon 
was  a  nickname  for  a  Whig,  first  applied  during  the  Presidential  campaign 
of  1836.  Martin  Van  Buren  had  been  styled  an  old  fox  by  the  Whigs.  The 
Democrats  retaliated  by  calling  Henry  Clay  "that  same  old  coon,"  and  face- 
tiously insinuated  that  he  had  been  treed  by  the  old  fox.  The  Whigs  caught 
up  the  epithet  and  adopted  the  raccoon  as  their  emblem,  painting  its  picture 
on  their  banners  and  carrying  live  specimens  in  their  processions. 

Coon,  A  gone.  One  who  is  utterly  ruined,  exhausted,  or  done  for ;  one 
who  is  placed  in  a  hopeless  difficulty.  Captain  Marryat  records  the  following 
explanation  in  his  "  Diary"  (1839),  which  was  gravely  told  him  by  a  Yankee 
acquaintance.  "There  is  a  Captain  Martin  Scott  in  the  United  States  army 
who  is  a  remarkable  shot  with  his  rifle.  He  was  raised  in  Vermont.  His 
fame  was  so  considerable  throughout  the  State  that  even  the  animals  were 
aware  of  it.  He  went  out  one  morning  with  his  rifle,  and,  spying  a  raccoon 
upon  the  upper  branches  of  a  high  tree,  brought  his  gun  up  to  his  shoulder, 
when  the  raccoon,  perceiving  it,  raised  his  paw  up  for  a  parley.     '  I  beg  j'our  . 

pardon,  mister,'  said  the  raccoon,  very  politely,  'but  may  I  ask  if  your  name  J 

is  Scott  ?'     '  Yes,' replied  the  captain.     'Martin  Scott?'    continued  the  rac-  I 

coon.     'Yes,'  replied   the  captain.     'Captain  Martin   Scott.''  still  continued  • 

the  animal.  'Yes,'  replied  the  captain  ;  'Captain  Martin  Scott.'  '  Oh,  then,' 
says  the  animal,  '  I  may  just  as  well  come  down,  for  I'm  a  gone  coon.'  " 

Another  explanation  gives  the  phrase  a  Revolutionary  origin.  An  American 
scout  dressed  himself  in  a  raccoon-skin  and  ascended  a  tree  to  reconnoitre 
the  enemy.  While  thus  engaged,  he  was  surprised  by  a  British  soldier,  out 
hunting,  and  the  latter,  mistaking  him  for  a  genuine  coon,  levelled  his  gun  to 
fire.  "Hold  on  !"  cried  the  startled  spy  ;  "  if  you  won't  shoot,  I'll  come  down. 
I  am  a  gone  coon  !"  The  Englishman,  however,  was  so  terrified  that  he 
dropped  his  gun  and  fled. 

I  must  think  of  something  else  as  I  lie  awake,  or,  like  that  sagacious  animal  in  the  United 
States  who  recognized  the  colonel  who  was  such  a  dead  shot,  I  am  a  gone  coon. — Dickens  : 
Reprhited  Pieces,  Lying  Awake. 

Coon,  Go  the  whole,  an  American  equivalent  for  "go  the  whole  hog." 
Coon's  age,  a  long  period  of  time,  the  coon  being  popularly  supposed  to 
be  very  long-lived.     "  I  haven't  seen  you  in  a  coon's  age"  is  a  common  locu- 
tion in  rural  America. 

Cop  or  Copper  (from  the  slang  verb  to  cop  or  seize,  Latin  capio,  or  Heb. 
cop,  a  "hand"  or  "palm"),  a  slang  word  for  a  policeman.  The  term  copper, 
of  course,  has  nothing  to  do  with  the  metal,  nevertheless  "the  professors  of 
slang,  having  coined  the  word,  associate  that  with  the  metal,  and  as  they  pass 
a  policeman  they  will,  to  annoy  him,  exhibit  a  copper  coin,  which  is  equiva- 
lent to  calling  the  officer  copper."  (Manchester  Courier,  June  13,  1S64.) 

Copperhead,  the  popular  name  for  the  Trigonocephalus  contortrix,  a 
venomous  American  serpent  abounding  especially  in  Florida.      Unlike  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1 91 

rattlesnake,  it  gives  no  warning  of  its  approach.  Hence  it  is  often  known  as 
the  dumb  rattlesnake.  The  word  has  been  caught  up  as  a  nickname  for  noi- 
some and  noiseless  enemies,  and  applied  first  to  the  Indians,  next  to  the  Dutch 
colonists  (see  Irving's  "Knickerbocker"),  and  lastly  and  more  permanently  to 
the  anti-war  Democrats  who  resided  in  the  North  and  sympathized  more  or 
less  secretly  with  the  South  during  the  civil  war. 

He  lived  to  cast  a  dying  vote  for  General  Jackson,  and  his  son,  the  first  Dr.  Mulbridge, 
survived  to  illustrate  the  magnanimity  of  his  fellow-townsmen  during  the  first  year  of  the 
civil  war,  as  a  tolerated  copperhead. — W.  D.  Howells  :  Dr.  Breeti's  Fractice,  ch.  ix. 

Copyright.  Under  the  existing  law  of  the  United  States,  copyright  is 
granted  for  twenty-eight  years,  with  the  right  of  extension  for  fourteen  more  ; 
in  all,  forty-two  years.     The  term  of  copyright  in  other  countries  is  as  follows  : 

Mexico,  Guatemala,  and  Venezuela,  in  perpetuity. 

Colombia,  author's  life  and  eighty  years  after. 
•    Spain,  author's  life  and  eighty  years  after. 

Belgium,  author's  life  and  fifty  years  after. 

Ecuador,  author's  life  and  fifty  years  after. 

Norway,  author's  life  and  fifty  years  after. 

Pern,  author's  life  and  fifty  years  after. 

Russia,  author's  life  and  fifty  years  after. 

Tunis,  author's  life  and  fifty  years  after. 

Italy,  author's  life  and  forty  years  after  ;  the  full  term  to  be  eighty  years  in 
any  event. 

France,  author's  life  and  thirty  years  after. 

Germany,  author's  life  and  thirty  years  after. 

Austria,  author's  life  and  thirty  years  after. 

Switzerland,  author's  life  and  thirty  years  after. 

Hayti,  author's  life,  widow's  life,  children's  lives,  and  twenty  years  after  the 
close  of  the  latest  period. 

Brazil,  author's  life  and  ten  years  after. 

Sweden,  author's  life  and  ten  years  after. 

Roumania,  author's  life  and  ten  years  after. 

Great  Britain,  author's  life  and  seven  years  after  his  decease ;  to  be  forty- 
two  years  in  any  event. 

Bolivia,  full  term  of  author's  life. 

Denmark  and  Holland,  fifty  years. 

Japan,  author's  life  and  five  years  after. 

South  Africa,  author's  life  ;  fifty  years  in  any  event. 

Cordon  bleu.  Henry  III.  of  France  was  elected  King  of  Poland  on 
the  day  of  the  Pentecost,  and  upon  the  same  day,  by  the  death  of  Charles  IX., 
he  succeeded  to  the  throne  of  France.  In  token  of  his  gratitude  he  instituted 
the  order  of  the  Saint-Esprit,  limiting  the  number  of  knights  to  a  hundred, 
exclusive  of  the  officers  of  the  order.  The  collar  worn  by  members  of  the 
order  upon  state  occasions  was  formed  of  fleur-de-lis  in  gold,  and  suspended 
to  it  was  a  cross  of  eight  points,  with  a  dove  in  the  centre  ;  upon  the  reverse 
of  the  cross  was  a  design  representing  St.  Michael  slaying  the  dragon.  When 
the  collar  was  not  donned,  the  cross  was  worn  suspended  to  a  piece  of  blue 
silk,  called  the  cordon  bleu.  As  time  went  on,  it  became  the  custom  to  call 
any  one  who  had  achieved  eminence  in  his  profession  a  cordon  bleu.  Finally 
it  came  to  be  applied  only  to  cooks.  M.  Littre  remarks  that  the  blue  apron 
formerly  worn  l3y  cooks  may  have  helped  to  earn  for  them  this  flattering 
designation. 

Corker.    This  slang  phrase  is  in  use  in  the  theatres  as  a  synonyme  for  a 


192  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

duffer,  one  who  corks  or  bottles  up  another  actor's  effects,  and  in  the  world 
at  large  for  something  or  somebody  unusually  large,  remarkable,  or  excellent, 
something  that  closes  up  or  settles  a  question. 

The  Crown  Prince's  lunch-bill  was  rather  a  corker ; 
No  wonder  his  Highness  refused  for  to  pay. 

"  Do  you  love  him,  Mabel?" 

There  was  an  unmistakable  ring  of  triumph  in  the  proud  father's  voice  as  he  addressed  the 
question  to  the  beautiful,  queenly  girl  who  stood  with  downcast  eyes  before  him. 

"  Yes,"  she  answered  softly,  the  rich  blood  mantling  her  cheek  and  brow. 

"  I  have  told  him,"  rejoined  the  father,  "  that  I  shall  interpose  no  obstacles  in  his  way.  If 
he  can  win  your  affections,  he  has  my  full  and  free  consent.  I  may  say  to  you,  further,  my 
daughter,"  he  continued,  "  that  in  gaining  the  love  of  a  young  man  like  Harold  Billmore  you 
have  made  a  conquest  that  gratifies  my  pride  as  a  father  and  commends  itself  to  my  judgment 
as  a  man.  He  is  of  good  family,  upright,  honorable,  high-minded,  the  possessor  of  a  compe- 
tence, and  in  all  respects  the  one  whom  above  all  others  I  should  have  chosen  as  the  guardian 
of  my  only  daughter's  happiness." 

"  Yes,  papa,"  she  replied,  her  face  lighting  up  with  a  smile,  "  he's  a  corker !" — Chicago 
Tribune. 

Corn,  I  acknowledge  the,  a  colloquial  Americanism,  meaning  "I  give 
in,"  "  I  retract,"  usually  in  regard  to  some  special  point  not  involving  the 
whole  question  at  issue.  Many  explanations,  more  or  less  obviously  manu- 
factured, have  been  given  as  to  the  origin  of  the  phrase.  The  following,  how- 
ever, has  an  air  of  plausibility  and  may  be  authentic.  In  1828,  Andrew  Stewart, 
a  member  of  Congress,  said  in  a  speech  that  Ohio,  Kentucky,  and  Indiana 
sent  their  hay-stacks,  cornfields,  and  fodder  to  New  York  and  Philadelphia 
for  sale.  Wickliffe,  of  Kentucky,  called  him  to  order,  declaring  that  those 
States  did  not  send  hay-stacks  or  cornfields  to  New  York  for  sale.  "Well, 
what  do  you  send  V  asked  Stewart.  "  Why,  horses,  mules,  cattle,  and  hogs." 
"  Well,  what  makes  your  horses,  mules,  cattle,  and  hogs .''  You  feed  one  hun- 
dred dollars'  worth  of  hay  to  a  horse.  You  just  animate  and  get  upon  the  top 
of  your  hay-stack  and  ride  off  to  market.  How  is  it  with  your  cattle.'  You 
make  one  of  them  carry  fifty  dollars'  worth  of  hay  and  grass  to  the  Eastern 
market.  How  much  corn  does  it  take,  at  thirty-three  cents  a  bushel,  to 
fatten  a  hog?"  "Why,  thirty  bushels."  "Then  you  put  that  thirty  bushels 
into  the  shape  of  a  hog,  and  make  it  walk  off  to  the  Eastern  market."  Then 
Mr.  Wickliffe  jumped  up  and  said,  "  Mr.  Speaker,  I  acknowledge  the  corn." 

Corporations  have  no  souls.  This  legal  maxim  was  first  laid  down  by 
Sir  Edward  Coke  in  the  case  of  Sutton's  Hospital  (10  Rep.  32):  "They 
[corporations]  cannot  commit  treason,  nor  be  outlawed  nor  excommunicate, 
for  they  have  no  souls."  Lord  Thurlow  subsequently  paraphrased  this  maxim 
in  his  own  rough  way  :  "  You  never  expected  justice  from  a  corporation,  did 
you.''     They  have  neither  a  soul  to  lose  nor  a  body  to  kick." 

Corruptio  optimi  pessima  (L.,  "  Corruption  in  the  best  is  the  worst  cor- 
ruption"), a  phrase  much  used  by  the  early  Latin  Fathers  of  the  Church, 
They  applied  it  originally  to  bad  priests  ;  afterwards  it  was  extended  to  de- 
scribe the  sins  of  all  who  had  received  grace  and  were  offending  against  the 
light ;  and  now  it  is  a  general  expression,  meaning,  the  better  the  thing  the 
worse  its  abuse.  And  the  most  curious  part  of  the  whole  matter  is,  that  in 
so  broadening  its  application  it  has  really  gone  round  the  circle  and  come 
back  to  its  starting-point.  For  there  is  little  doubt  that  the  phrase  of  the 
Fathers  originated  with  Aristotle  in  his  "Ethics  of  Niconiachus"  (Book  viii., 
ch.  X.),  where,  in  speaking  of  governments,  he  says  that  "Tyranny  being  the 
corruption  of  the  best  form  [/>.,  of  kingly  government]  is  therefore  the  worst." 
Elsewhere  he  uses  the  same  expression  in  other  connections.  The  idea,  of 
course,  is  a  commonplace  that  appears  in  many  other  forms  in  literature, — i.e. : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1 93 

For  fairest  things  grow  foulest  by  foul  deeds  ; 
Lilies  that  fester  smell  far  worse  than  weeds. 

Shakespeare:  S'owMf/A'C/K,  13. 

Would  it  were  I  had  been  false,  not  you  ! 

I  that  am  nothing,  not  you  that  are  all ; 
I,  never  the  worse  for  a  touch  or  two 

On  my  speckled  hide  ;  not  you,  the  pride 
Of  the  day,  my  swan,  that  a  first  fleck's  fall 

On  her  wonder  of  white  must  unswan,  undo  ! 

Browning  :   The  Worst  of  It. 

Cotton  to,  meaning  to  like,  to  take  to,  to  agree  with,  is  often  looked  upon 
as  a  vulgarism,  sometimes  even  as  a  modern  Americanism.  Bartlett  includes 
it  in  his  Dictionary.  But  this  common  colloquialism,  still  in  use  on  both 
sides  of  the  Atlantic,  is  a  survival  of  a  respectable  English  word.  It  is 
found  occasionally  in  the  Elizabethan  writers,  but  the  earliest  example  in 
literature  is  probably  the  following,  from  Thomas  Drant's  translation  of 
Horace  (1567)  : 

So  feyneth  he,  things  true  and  false 

So  always  mingleth  he, 
That  first  with  midst,  and  midst  with  last. 
May  cotton  and  agree. 

Cotton  is  King.  This  famous  ante-bellum  cry,  with  which  the  Southern 
slave-holders  answered  the  arguments  of  the  Abolitionists,  originated  with 
David  Christy  as  the  title  of  his  book  "Cotton  is  King  ;  or.  Slavery  in  the 
Light  of  Political  Economy"  (1855).  James  Henry  Hammond  quoted  the 
phrase  in  the  United  States  Senate,  March,  1858,  and  it  at  once  became  a 
popular  by-word. 

Country,  Love  of.  Dr.  Johnson,  as  reported  by  Boswell,  held  that  patri- 
otism was  the  last  refuge  of  a  scoundrel.  Some  of  the  advanced  thinkers  of 
to-day  (as  may  be  seen  s.  v.  Citizen  of  the  World)  are  inclined  to  look 
upon  it  as  a  provincial  virtue,  now  rightly  obsolescent  in  the  larger  sympathies 
that  crave  to  enclose  the  world.  Nevertheless,  none  deny  that  in  the  past 
it  has  been  an  effective  factor  in  civilization,  and  has  inspired  the  true 
heroic  in  thought  and  deed.  Goldsmith,  in  his  story  of  Assan,  draws  an  ideal 
lubberland  where  there  are  no  vices,  and  consequently  where  the  love  of 
country  is  stigmatized  on  account  of  its  correlative  hatred  or  contempt  of  the 
stranger.  But  he  describes  it  only  to  condemn.  He  saw  no  mere  narrowness 
in  the  patriot's  boast, — 

Such  is  the  patriot's  boast,  where'er  we  roam, — 

His  first,  best  country  ever  is  at  home. 

The  Traveller,  1.  73. 

Nor  did  Shakespeare,  who  makes  his  Coriolanus  say, — 

Had  I  a  dozen  sons,  each  in  my  love  alike  and  none  less  dear  than  thine  and  my  good 
Marcius,  I  had  rather  eleven  die  nobly  for  their  country  than  one  voluptuously  surfeit  out  of 
action, —  Coriolanus ,  Act  i.,  Sc.  3, 

and  puts  in  Wolsey's  mouth  the  advice, — 

Let  all  the  ends  thou  aim'st  at  be  thy  country's, 

Thy  God's,  and  truth's ;  then  if  thou  fall'st,  O  Cromwell, 

Thou  fall'st  a  blessed  martyr  ! 

Henry  VIII.,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  2. 

Probably  here  is  a  reminiscence  of  Horace's 

Dulce  et  decorum  est  pro  patria  mori, — 
which  in  its  turn  was  a  reminiscence  of  Homer,  thus  rendered  by  Pope : 
And  for  our  country  'tis  a  bliss  to  die. 

Iliad,  Book  xv.,  1.  583- 

I  n  17 


1.94  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

So  Addison's  Cato : 

What  a  pity  is  it 
That  we  can  die  but  once  to  save  our  country ! 

Cato,  Act  iv.,  So.  4. 

Though  the  evolutionist  looks  forward  to  the  time  when  love  of  country 
shall  have  been  merged  in  a  world -love,  the  United  States  has  been  found 
in  the  present  time  as  large  an  entity  as  the  average  citizen  could  compass. 
Indeed,  the  dream  of  the  enthusiast  of  a  country  which  shall  know  no  North, 
no  South,  no  West,  no  East,  is  still  little  more  than  a  dream.  Utterances 
like  the  two  following,  from  Robert  C.  Winthrop,  represent  rather  the  un- 
attained  ideal  than  the  actual  practice  of  the  majority : 

Our  Country,— whether  bounded  by  the  St.  John's  and  the  Sabine,  or  however  otherwise 
bounded  or  described,  and  be  the  measurements  more  or  less,— still  our  Country,  to  be  cher- 
ished in  all  our  hearts,  to  be  defended  by  all  our  hands.—  Toast  at  Faneuil  Hall  on  the 
Fourth  of  July,  1845. 

There  are  no  points  of  the  compass  on  the  chart  of  true  patriotism.— i:^«??-  to  Boston 
Commercial  Club  in  iSyg. 

A  famous  patriotic  sentiment,  embodying  a  principle  whose  virtue  might  be 
casuistically  questioned,  was  the  following,  given  at  Norfolk,  Virginia,  April, 
1816,  by  Stephen  Decatur  : 

Our  country  !  In  her  intercourse  with  foreign  nations  may  she  always  be  in  the  right ;  but 
our  country,  right  or  wrong. 

There  may  be  a  reminiscence  here  of  Cowper  : 

England,  with  all  thy  faults  I  love  thee  still. 
My  country  ! 

The  Task,  Book  ii. :   The  Timepiece,  1.  206. 

as  in  Cowper  there  is  an  undoubted  reminiscence  of  Churchill : 
Be  England  what  she  will, 
With  all  her  faults,  she  is  my  country  still. 

The  Farewell,  1.  27. 

Country.  We  left  our  country  for  our  country's  good.  When 
Young's  tragedy  of  "The  Revenge"  was  acted  by  convicts  at  Sydney,  New 
South  Wales,  in  1796,  George  Barrington,  himself  a  convict,  penned  a  pro- 
logue in  which  occur  the  famous  lines, — 

From  distant  climes,  o'er  wide-spread  seas,  we  come. 

Though  not  with  much  eclat  or  beat  of  drum ; 

True  patriots  we,  for,  be  it  understood. 

We  left  our  country  for  our  country's  good. 

No  private  views  disgraced  our  generous  zeal. 

What  urged  our  travels  was  our  country's  weal ; 

And  none  will  doubt  but  that  our  emigration 

Has  proved  most  useful  to  the  British  nation. 

The  idea  was  anticipated  by  George  Farquhar  in  "  The  Beaux'  Stratagem," 
written  some  ninety  years  before  Barrington's  prologue.  Gibbet,  the  high- 
wayman, in  answer  to  Aimwell's  question,  "  You  have  served  abroad,  sir .-"' 
says,  "Yes,  sir,  in  the  plantations;  'twas  my  lot  to  be  sent  into   the  worst  of 

service.     I  would  have  quitted  it,  indeed,  but  a  man  of  honor,  you  know 

Besides,  'twas  for  the  good  of  my  country  that  I  should  be  abroad.  Anything 
for  the  good  of  one's  country ;  I'm  a  Roman  for  that."  Both  Farquhar  and 
Barrington,  it  will  be  seen,  have  euphemistic  reference  to  transportation,  but 
the  lines  are  now  so  frequently  applied  to  any  departure  from  one's  native 
land,  whether  voluntary  or  involuntary,  that  it  may  be  doubted  whether  the 
original  meaning  has  not  been  as  completely  superseded  as  the  form  of  pun- 
ishment to  which  it  obliquely  refers.  In  a  complimentary  sense  the  phrase 
had  already  been  applied  to  Sir  Francis  Drake  by  Charles  Fitzgeffry,  circa  1596  ; 
Leaving  his  country  for  his  country's  sake- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  195 

Coventry,  To  send  one  to,  to  taboo,  to  ostracize,  to  boycott, — a  colloquial 
phrase  used  mainly  by  English  school-boys.  Coventry  may  be  a  corruption 
of  Quarantine  through  Cointrie,  the  ancient  form  for  Coventry.  The  expres- 
sion "To  send  to  Quarantine"  is  found  in  Swift,  but  no  earlier  exemplar  of  the 
modern  phrase  is  to  be  found  than  1785,  in  Grose's  "  Dictionary  of  the  Vulgar 
Tongue." 

Cow  with  the  iron  tail,  a  humorous  colloquialism  for  a  pump,  in  allu- 
sion to  the  current  jest  thus  alluded  to  by  Dr.  Holmes  in  "The  Professor  at 
the  Breakfast-Table  :"  "  It  is  a  common  saying  of  a  jockey  that  he  is  all 
horse,  and  I  have  often  fancied  that  milkmen  get  a  stiff  upper  carriage  and 
an  angular  movement  that  reminds  one  of  a  pump  and  the  working  of  a 
handle." 

Cradle.  The  hand  that  rocks  the  cradle  rules  the  world.  This 
English  expression  is  anticipated  in  the  story  told  by  Plutarch  of  Themistocles, 
who  called  his  son  the  most  powerful  person  in  Greece.  "  For  the  Athenians 
govern  Greece,  I  the  Athenians,  my  wife  me,  and  my  son  my  wife."  In  the 
"  Percy  Anecdotes"  the  same  story  is  modernized.  A  nobleman  accosted  a 
lame  school-master  and  asked  him  his  name.  "  I  am  R.  T.,"  was  the  answer, 
"and  the  master  of  this  parish."  "Why,  how  soi*"  "I  am  the  master  of 
the  children  of  the  parish,  the  children  are  masters  of  the  mothers,  the  mothers 
are  the  rulers  of  the  fathers,  and  consequently  I  am  the  master  of  the  whole 
parish."  There  is  another  sense,  of  course,  in  which  the  proverb  may  be 
taken, — a  sense  beautifully  expressed  in  the  Spanish  analogue,  "  What  is 
sucked  in  with  the  mother's  milk  runs  out  with  the  shroud." 

Cradles  rock  us  nearer  to  the  tomb.  In  his  "Night  Thoughts," 
v.,  line  718,  Young  has  the  lines, — 

And  cradles  rock  us  nearer  to  the  tomb. 
Our  birth  is  nothing  but  our  death  begun. 

Long  before  Young  Bishop  Hale  had  said, — 

Death  borders  upon  our  birth,  and  our  cradle  stands  in  the  grave. — Epistles,  Dec.  iii. 
Ep.  2. 
John  Dyer's  lines  are  only  faintly  parallel : 

A  little  rule,  a  little  sway, 
A  sunbeam  in  a  winter's  day. 
Is  all  the  proud  and  mighty  have 
Between  the  cradle  and  the  grave. 

Grongar  Hill. 

Crank.  It  is  said  that  Donn  Piatt  claimed  to  have  invented  this  familiar' 
Americanism,  and  to  have  applied  it  originally  to  Horace  Greeley, — the  com- 
parison being  to  the  crank  of  a  hand-organ,  which  is  continually  engaged  in 
grinding  out  the  same  old  tunes.  At  present  the  word  has  a  much  wider 
application,  and  means  not  merely  a  man  with  a  hobby,  but  more  especially  an 
eccentric  character  just  hovering  on  the  border-line  between  sanity  and  in- 
sanity. The  word  was  brought  into  newspaper  prominence  at  the  trial  of 
Guiteau,  Garfield's  assassin,  the  most  terrible  instance  of  the  crank  in  modern 
history.  A  good  second  was  Henry  L.  Norcross,  who,  in  1891,  killed  himself 
and  wrecked  Russell  Sage's  office  with  a  bomb. 

The  case  of  dangerous  delusion  which  received  more  attention  in  the  newspapers  than  any 
within  the  past  ten  years,  except  Guiteau,  was  that  of  James  M.  Dougherty,  who  loved  the 
actress  Mary  Anderson,  and  believed  that  she  loved  him. 

He  annoyed  her  for  a  long  time  before  he  was  taken  care  of  by  the  authorities.  His  was 
the  same  old  crank  trouble  of  persecution  and  exalted  ideas.  He  assured  me  that  he  could 
have  married  ladies  of  rank  and  fortune.  He  wrote  a  long  treatise  to  explain  all  natural  phe- 
nomena, the  creation  and  all  the  sciences.  He  sent  President  Cleveland  a  long  congratulatory 
telegram  on  his  election. 


196  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

.He  followed  Miss  Anderson  all  over  this  countrj'  and  Europe,  and  insisted  that  when  he  was 

in  the  audience  she  played  to  him  alone.     He  carried  a  big  revolver  with  him,  and  after  he  was 

arrested  and  taken  to  Bellevue  he  gave  me  a  statement  to  be  published  m  the  newspapers.   1  he 

following  were  the  head-lines  :  _ 

PIQUED. 

Mary  Anderson  visits  this  Country  on  the  Sly  to  see  Dougherty. 

ROSALIND  ON  THE  RAMPAGE. 
After  her  Jimmie,  while  supposed  to  be  in  a  Convent  in  London. 

Though  these  expressions  were  common,  Dougherty's  affection  for  his  adored  object  was 
refined.  It  was  a  distant  and  romantic  worship,  and  against  his  divinity  I  found  he  never 
thought  of  raising  his  arm  and  had  no  desire  to  kill  her.  „-      .        ,      ■ 

But  the  murderous  mania  came  later.  After  his  actions  had  become  so  offensive  that  he  was 
arrested,  examined,  and  sent  to  the  Flatbush  Insane  Asylum,  he  decided  to  kill  fifteen  persons 
who  had  crossed  his  path,  and  on  his  list  was  my  name.  By  a  perverted  logic  he  led  himsell  to 
believe  this  wholesale  killing  would  be  justified.  He  escaped  from  the  institution,  you  remem- 
ber, in  the  fall  of  last  year,  but  returned  and  shot  and  killed  Dr.  George  W.  Lloyd,  the  assist- 
ant'superintendent.  He  was  convicted  of  murder  in  the  second  degree,  and  sent  to  the  Asylum 
for  Insane  Criminals,  after  having  been  sentenced  for  life  to  State  Prison. 

Dougherty  was  only  a  crank,  but,  according  to  the  verdict  of  a  commission  which  examined 
him.  he  was  the  most  dangerous  lunatic  it  was  ever  their  pleasure  to  see.— Matthew  D.  i  ield, 
M.D.,  in  New  York  World,  December  20,  1891. 

Credat  Judaeus  Apella  (L.,  "The  Jew  Apella  may  believe  this"),  a 
famous  phrase  in  Horace's  "  Satires,"  i.  5,  96),  still  in  frequent  use  as  an  expres- 
sion of  incredulity.  Horace  is  describing  a  journey.  "  At  Gnatia,"  he  says, 
"  they  strove  to  persuade  us  that  incense  would  melt  upon  the  sacred  threshold 
without  the  aid  of  fire.  The  Jew  Apella  may  believe  this,  not  I,  for  I  have 
learned  that  the  gods  live  in  tranquillity,  and  if  any  wonderful  thing  happens 
it  is  not  sent  by  them  from  the  lofty  vault  of  heaven."  Apella  was  a  common 
name  among  the  Jews,  whom  the  Romans  regarded  as  a  credulous  and  supersti- 
tious race.  Renan,  however,  explains  that  it  is  not  credulity  which  is  most 
striking  in  the  Talmudist  Jew  :  "  The  credulous  Jew,  the  lover  of  the  marvellous, 
known  to  the  Latin  satirists,  is  not  the  Jew  of  Jerusalem  ;  it  is  the  Hellenized 
Jew,  at  the  same  time  very  religious  and  very  ill  informed,  consequently  very 
superstitious.  Neither  the  half-sceptical  Sadducee  nor  the  rigorous  Pharisee 
could  have  been  much  impressed  by  the  theurgy  which  was  so  popular  in  the 
apostolic  circle.  But  the  Judeeus  Apella,  at  whom  the  Epicurean  Horace 
smiled,  was  there  to  believe."  {Les  Apotres,  ch.  vi.) 

They  seem  then  to  have  made  their  option,  and  to  have  given  some  sort  of  credit  to  their 
paper  by  taking  it  themselves ;  at  the  same  time,  in  their  speeches,  they  made  a  sort  of  swag- 
gering declaration,  something,  I  rather  think,  above  legislative  competence,  that  is,  that  there 
is  no  difference  in  value  between  metallic  money  and  their  assignats.  This  was  a  good,  stout 
proof  article  of  faith,  pronounced  under  an  anathema  by  the  venerable  fathers  of  this  phi- 
losophic synod.  Credat  who  will— certainly  not  Judceus  AJ>ella.—BvKKU  :  Reflections  on 
the  Revolution  in  France. 

Crichton,  the  Admirable,  a  name  given  to  James  Crichton,  a  youthful 
prodigy  who  was  the  wonder  of  his  contemporaries.  Born  in  Scotland  in  1560, 
he  took  the  degree  of  Bachelor  of  Arts  when  he  was  only  twelve,  and  of 
Master  of  Arts  when  he  was  fourteen.  At  the  age  of  seventeen  we  find  him 
in  Paris,  challenging  all  the  most  famous  scholars  and  philosophers  to  a  public 
discussion,  at  which  he  held  himself  ready  to  answer  any  question  in  theology, 
jurisprudence,  medicine,  logic,  mathematics,  or  any  other  science,  in  any  one 
of  the  following  twelve  languages,  Latin,  Greek,  Hebrew,  Arabic,  Syrian, 
Slavonic,  French,  English,  Italian,  Spanish,  Dutch,  or  Flemish,  either  in  verse 
or  in  prose  as  might  be  desired.  He  succeeded  in  carrying  out  his  boast,  to 
the  astonishment  of  every  one,  and  it  was  then  that  the  title  of  Admirable  was 
bestowed  upon  him.  In  Rome,  in  Venice,  and  in  Padua  he  earned  similar 
triumphs.  Nor  was  he  simply  distinguished  as  a  scholar ;  he  was  an  accom- 
plished dancer,  fencer,  rider,  musician,  painter,  and  actor,  was  handsome  in 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  197 

person,  engaging  in  his  manners,  and  a  thorough  man  of  the  world.  This 
prodigy  was,  in  15S2,  secured  by  the  Duke  of  Mantua  as  a  tutor  for  his  son,  a 
dissipated  and  worthless  young  man.  In  the  year  1583,  Crichton,  one  carni- 
val night,  was  assailed  by  three  masked  men.  He  succeeded  in  disarming  and 
unmasking  the  principal  one  among  them,  when,  finding  that  it  was  his  pupil, 
the  duke's  son,  he  knelt  down  and  presented  him  with  his  own  sword.  The 
unmanly  prince  at  once  ran  it  through  Crichton's  body. 

Crime,  —  Blunder.  "  It  is  worse  than  a  crime, — it  is  a  blunder"  ("  C'est 
plus  qu'un  crime, — c'est  une  faute"),  a  phrase  attributed  to  Talleyrand,  and 
characterizing  the  political  murder  of  the  Due  d'Enghien,  who  was  shot  by 
Napoleon's  order,  March,  1804.  But  Jacob  Fouche,  in  his  Memoires,  claims 
the  phrase  for  himself  in  the  form,  "  It  is  more  than  a  crime, — it  is  a  political 
fault."  There  is  a  certain  appositeness  in  the  fact  that  phrases  should  be 
interchangeably  attributed  to  Fouche  and  Talleyrand,  inasmuch  as  Napoleon 
found  a  great  likeness  between  them.  "  Fouche,"  said  the  dethroned  monarch 
at  St.  Helena,  "was  the  Talleyrand  of  the  clubs,  and  Talleyrand' was  the 
Fouche  of  the  drawing-rooms." 

Criticism,  Curiosities  of.  If  the  world  at  large  and  if  critics  themselves 
would  only  accept  Mr.  Andrew  Lang's  definition  of  criticism  as  a  more  or  less 
agreeable  way  of  airing  one's  personal  preferences,  there  might  be  less  heart- 
burning in  the  literary  guild.  Criticism  has  never  been  an  exact  art,  and  can 
never  become  so.  The  critics  have  their  say,  and  then  we  turn  round  and 
criticise  the  critics.  One  age  reverses  the  verdict  of  its  predecessor.  Nay, 
even  these  temporary  verdicts  are  but  the  clash  of  opposing  opinions.  The 
strongest  hand  carries  the  day  for  the  moment,  and  then  night  comes  and  a 
new  day  brings  in  new  conditions.  The  critic  by  profession  has  always  been 
an  object  of  authorial  hatred.  The  envy  of  the  unsuccessful  against  the  suc- 
cessful has  been  described  as  the  motive  power  of  criticism  from  the  days  of 
the  Greek  Callimachus  to  the  English  Disraeli.  Yet  when  the  author  tries  his 
hand  at  amateur  criticism  he  makes  no  better  fist  of  it  than  the  professional. 
If  Quintilian  fell  foul  of  Seneca,  if  Athenaeus  treated  Socrates  as  illiterate,  if 
Dionysius  of  Halicarnassus  picked  flaws  in  the  style  of  Xenophon,  let  us  not 
forget  that  poets  and  historians  have  also  misprized  and  reviled  each  other, 
that  Horace  had  no  relish  for  the  coarse  humor  of  Plautus,  that  if  the  critics 
of  Callimachus  were  unjust,  he  too  was  a  critic  accused  of  injustice.  Indeed, 
in  Greece  the  quarrels  between  poets  themselves  had  become  proverbial,  and 
when  Plato  quotes  the  lines  about  "  poets  hating  poets,  and  potters,  potters," 
he  lifts  the  curtain  on  a  scene  of  internecine  strife. 

Take  the  greatest  figure  in  modern  literature.  The  civilization  of  the 
"Western  world  has  by  a  majority  vote  conferred  that  distinction  upon  Shake- 
speare. But  there  is  still  a  small  but  respectable  minority  who  refuse  to  yield 
to  his  spell.  In  the  past  there  was  frequently  a  respectable  majority  arrayed 
against  him.  And  whether  a  majority  or  minority,  the  list  was  mainly  com- 
posed of  fellow-poets,  or  at  least  of  authors  who  were  not  professional  critics. 

The  earliest  voice  raised  against  Shakespeare  was  that  of  his  contemporary 
Robert  Greene,  a  dramatist  like  himself:  "  Here  is  an  upstart  crow,  beautified 
with  our  feathers,  that  supposes  he  is  as  well  able  to  bombast  out  a  blank 
verse  as  the  rest  of  you,  and  being  an  absolute  Johannes  factotum,  is,  \\\  his 
own  conceit,  the  only  shake-scene  in  the  country."  But  it  maybe  urged  that 
Greene  was  "poor  and  old  when  he  penned  this,  and  so  had  turned  critic  for 
the  nonce  under  the  rasping  influence  of  jealousy.  Well,  then,  there  is  Dry- 
den.  Shakespeare  had  been  dead  too  long  to  be  considered  as  a  dangerous 
rival.  Dryden  himself,  though  he  wrote  criticisms,  was  only  secondarily  a 
critic;  he  had  not  failed  in  literature,  but  had  made  a  most  brilliant  and  en- 


•198  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

during  success.  Yet  he  finds  in  every  page  of  Shakespeare  "  either  some 
solecism  of  speech,  or  some  notorious  flaw  in  sense."  He  denounces  the 
lameness  of  his  plots,  "made  up  of  some  ridiculous  incoherent  story.  ...  I 
suppose  I  need  not  name  '  Pericles,  Prince  of  Tyre,'  or  the  historical  plays  of 
Shal<espeare ;  besides  many  of  the  rest,  as  the  '  Winter's  Tale,'  '  Love's 
Labor's  Lost,'  '  Measure  for  Measure,'  which  were  either  grounded  on  im- 
possibilities, or  at  least  so  meanly  written  that  the  comedy  neither  caused  your 
mirth,  nor  the  serious  part  your  concernment."  These  gems  of  thought  may 
be  found  in  his  "  Defence  of  the  Epilogue,"  a  postscript  to  his  tragedy  of  the 
"  Conquest  of  Granada."  Elsewhere  he  says  that  Shakespeare  "  writes  in  many 
places  below  the  dullest  writers  of  our  or  of  any  precedent  age.  Never  did 
any  author  precipitate  himself  from  such  heights  of  thought  to  so  low  expres- 
sions as  he  often  does.  He  is  the  very  Janus  of  poets  ;  he  wears  almost 
everywhere  two  faces  ;  and  you  have  scarce  begun  to  admire  the  one  ere  you 
despise  the  other."  Of  the  Elizabethan  audiences  he  writes,  "They  knew  no 
better,  and  therefore  were  satisfied  with  what  they  brought.  Those  who  called 
theirs  the  Golden  Age  of  Poetry  have  only  this  reason  for  it :  that  they 
were  then  content  with  acorns  before  they  knew  the  use  of  bread." 

The  "  majestic  Denham"  placed  Fletcher  above  both  Jonson  and  Shake- 
speare : 

In  thee  full  grown 
Their  graces  both  appear. 

That  indefatigable  play-goer,  Samuel  Pepys,  accounted  "  Romeo  and  Juliet" 
the  worst  play  that  ever  he  heard  ;  "  Othello,"  a  mean  thing  in  comparison 
with  Tuke's  "  Adventures  of  Five  Hours  ;"  "Twelfth  Night,"  a  silly  play,  not 
at  all  relating  to  the  name  or  day,  while  with  "  A  Midsummer  Night's  Dream" 
he  was  so  dissatisfied  that  he  would  never  see  it  again,  "  for  it  is  the  most 
insipid,  ridiculous  play  that  ever  I  saw  in  my  life."  Evidently  he  deemed  it 
even  worse  than  "  Romeo  and  Juliet." 

But  Pepys  only  reflected  the  taste  of  his  time.  The  critical  authority  of 
that  epoch,  Mr.  Thomas  Rymer,  thought  that  "  in  the  neighing  of  a  horse  or  in 
the  growling  of  a  mastiff  there  is  a  meaning,  there  is  a  lively  expression,  and 
I  may  say  more  humanity,  than  in  the  tragical  flights  of  Shakespeare."  Of 
that  great  scene  between  Brutus  and  Cassius  which  aroused  Macaulay's  enthu- 
siasm, Rymer  says,  "  They  are  put  there  to  play  the  bully  and  the  buffoon,  to 
show  their  activity  of  face  and  muscles.  They  are  to  play  for  a  prize,  a  trial 
of  skill  and  hugging  and  swaggering,  like  two  drunken  Hectors  for  a  two- 
penny reckoning."  And  his  successor  on  the  critical  throne,  Mr.  John  Dennis, 
says  that  Shakespeare  "is  utterly  void  of  celestial  fire,"  and  his  verses  are 
frequently  harsh  and  unmusical.  These,  of  course,  were  the  opinions  of  mere 
critics.  But  Shaftesbury  echoes  them  when  he  speaks  of  Shakespeare's  "  rude, 
unpolished  style,  and  antiquated  form  of  wit."  And  Pope,  in  spite  of  his 
hatred  for  Dennis,  evidently  agrees  with  these  verdicts  when  he  sneers  at 

Shakespeare  (whom  you  and  every  play-house  bill 

Style  the  divine,  the  matchless,  what  you  will), 

and  protests  against  the  extravagance  of  his  worshippers  : 
On  Avon's  bank,  where  flowers  eternal  blow, 
If  I  but  ask  if  any  weed  can  grow. 
How  will  our  fathers  rise  up  in  a  rage. 
And  swear  all  shame  is  lost  in  George's  age  ! 

Addison,  too,  must  have  shared  that  opinion,  at  least  in  his  early  days,  for 
he  left  Shakespeare  unnamed  in  his  "  Account  of  the  Greatest  English  Poets" 
which  he  addressed  to  Sacheverell.  Hume  called  Shakespeare  "a  dispropor- 
tioned  and  misshapen  giant,"  and  though  he  is  willing  to  allow  that  "as  a  man 
born  in  a  rude  age  and  educated  in  the  lowest  manner"  he  might  be  accounted 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


L99 


a  prodigy,  yet  "if  represented  as  a  poet,  capable  of  furnishing  a  proper  en- 
tertainment to  a  refined  or  intelligent  audience,  we  must  abate  much  of  this 
eulogy."  It  is  said  that  Hume's  attack  was  originally  much  more  vigorous 
than  in  its  printed  form.  Lord  Kames  persuaded  him  to  tone  it  down,  fearing, 
so  Boswell  tells  us,  that  the  historian  "would  have  been  disgraced  by  confess- 
ing total  insensibility  to  what  the  English  nation  has  so  long  and  so  justly 
admired." 

Voltaire,  however,  was  fettered  by  no  such  fears.  He  unhesitatingly  styles 
Shakespeare  "a  drunken  savage,"  and  "  Hamlet"  a  piece  so  gross  and  barbar- 
ous that  it  would  not  be  endured  by  the  vilest  population  in  France  and  Italy. 
A  country  bumpkin  at  a  fair,  he  observed,  would  express  himself  with  more 
decency  and  in  nobler  language  than  Hamlet  in  the  famous  soliloquy  begin- 
i'lg,— 

Oh  that  this  too,  too  solid  flesh  would  melt. 

Goldsmith  attacked  another  famous  soliloquy,  that  beginning, 
To  be  or  not  to  be,  ay,  there's  the  question, — 
and,  after  a  good  deal  of  foolish  hypercriticism,  scores  one  good  point  where 
he  shows  the  absurdity  of  the  phrase,  "that  bourn  from  which  no  traveller 
returns,"  in  the  mouth  of  Hamlet  just  after  an  interview  with  his  father's 
ghost  come  piping  hot  from  hell. 

"Shakespeare  and  Milton,"  said  Byron,  "have  had  their  rise,  and  they  will 
have  their  decline."     Again,  he  sneers  at 

One  Shakespeare  and  his  plays  so  doting, 
Which  many  people  pass  for  wits  by  quoting. 

Samuel  Rogers,  the  veteran  poet,  was  well  known  to  have  had  little  real 
admiration  for  Shakespeare.  He  would  frequently  read  aloud  from  Ben 
Jonson's  "Discoveries"  the  passage  referring  to  the  players  who  boasted  that 
the  poet  never  "blotted  out  a  line,"  and  on  the  concluding  sentence  of  Jon- 
son's, "Would  he  had  blotted  out  a  thousand  !"  he  always  laid  a  strong  em- 
))hasis.  He  one  morning  challenged  the  company  to  produce  a  passage  from 
Shakespeare  which  would  not  have  been  improved  by  blotting,  and  he  was 
with  difficulty  silenced,  after  picking  many  beautiful  specimens  to  pieces,  by 
the  one  commencing, — 

How  sweet  the  moonlight  sleeps  upon  this  bank. 

The  most  notable  of  recent  Shakespeare  traducers  is  Sardou.  He  directs 
all  the  thunders  of  his  artillery  against  Hamlet,  "an  empty  wind-bag  hero," 
whom  Shakespeare  has  clothed  in  a  dramatic  fog,  and  whom  the  German 
critics  have  stuffed  with  all  their  cloudy  concepts,  with  all  their  uncertain 
dissertations,  with  all  the  smoke  in  their  pipes,  with  all  the  besotted  obscu- 
rity of  their  beer-cellars.  The  Ghost  is  simply  ridiculous.  He  appears  to 
everybody  save  his  wife.  Why  is  he  visible  to  Horatio,  to  Bernardo,  to  a  lot 
of  indifferent  people,  and  never  to  the  wife  who  murdered  him  .'  What  a 
comic  scene  is  that  of  the  oath  !  Horatio  and  Marcellus  swear  never  to 
reveal  what  they  have  seen.  Why  doesn't  Bernardo  swear  too  ?  Or,  rather, 
what  is  the  use  of  any  one  swearing.?  The  doting  old  ghost  has  forgotten 
his  posthumous  visits  to  the  sentinels  of  the  castle.  "  As  to  the  philosophy, 
I  find  it  no  better  than  the  plot.  People  go  into  ecstasies  over  the  famous 
soliloquy  'To  be  or  not  to  be.'  I  cannot  myself  know  if  our  souls  are  anni- 
hilated after  ^eath  or  not.  But  if  any  one  is  well  informed  upon  that  point, 
it  is  Hamlet,  who  talks  every  day  with  his  defunct  father.  I  declare,  and  I 
repeat,  that  there  is  nothing  good  in  the  play,  in  my  opinion,  except  the  scene 
with  the  actors,  the  idea  of  causing  to  be  played  before  the  king  and  queen  a 
murder  similar  to  that  which  they  had  committed,  in  order  to  surprise  their 
secret.     As  to  the  duel  at  the  end,  and  the  exchange  of  foils  which  brings 


200  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

about  the  catastrophe,  the  weakest  playwright  of  to-day  would  not  dare  to 
employ  such  a  method  to  end  his  piece." 

Milton  as  well  as  Shakespeare  has  found  his  detractors  among  many  of 
the  most  eminent  of  his  contemporaries  and  successors.  Waller  contemptu- 
ously wrote  of  his  greatest  work,  "  The  blind  old  school-master  hath  published 
a  tedious  poem  on  the  fall  of  man  ;  if  its  length  be  not  considered  a  merit  it 
hath  no  other."  Winstanley,  who  wrote  the  "Lives  of  the  Most  Famous 
English  Poets,"  notes  that  "  his  fame  is  gone  out  like  a  candle  in  a  snuff,  and 
his  memory  will  always  stink  ;"  truly  a  pleasant  and  genial  figure  of  speech. 
Johnson  abused  the  sonnets,  and  declared  that  he  would  hang  a  dog  who  should 
read  "  Lycidas"  twice.  So  Boswell  tells  us.  What  Ursa  Major  said  in  print 
was  to  the  same  effect.  He  declared  that  no  man  could  have  fancied  that  he 
read  "  Lycidas"  with  pleasure  had  he  not  known  the  author  :  "  The  diction  is 
harsh,  the  rhymes  uncertain,  and  the  numbers  unpleasing.  ...  Its  form  is 
that  of  a  pastoral,  easy,  vulgar,  and  therefore  disgusting  ;  whatever  images 
it  can  supply  are  long  ago  exhausted,  and  its  inherent  iniprobability  always 
forces  dissatisfaction  on  the  mind."     Pope  wrote, — 

Milton's  strong  pinion  now  not  heaven  can  bound, 

Now,  serpent-like,  in  prose  he  sweeps  the  ground ; 

In  quibbles  angel  and  archangel  join. 

And  God  the  Father  turns  a  school  divine. 

But,  as  Coleridge  said.  Pope  was  hardly  the  man  to  criticise  Milton.  Nor 
was  Voltaire,  who  in  "Candide" calls  Milton  "the  barbarian  who  constructed 
a  long  commentary  on  the  first  chapter  of  Genesis  in  ten  books  of  harsh 
verse,"  and  winds  up  his  diatribe  by  declaring,  "  This  obscure,  eccentric,  and 
disgusting  poem  was  despised  at  its  birth :  and  I  treat  it  to-day  as  it  was 
treated  in  its  own  country  by  its  contemporaries."  Perhaps  it  may  be  objected 
that  Voltaire  is  only  speaking  dramatically  in  the  person  of  Pococurante. 
That  the  sentiments,  however,  were  generally  considered  his  own  is  evident 
from  Madame  du  DefTand's  congratulations  on  this  very  passage.  "  I  hate 
devils  mortally,"  she  writes  to  Voltaire,  "and  I  cannot  tell  you  the  pleasure  I 
have  experienced  in  finding  in  'Candide'  all  the  evil  you  have  spoken  of 
Milton.  It  seemed  to  me  that  the  whole  was  my  own  thought,  for  I  always 
detested  him." 

Coleridge  saw  no  good  in  Sir  Walter  Scott.  "  Wretched  abortions"  is  the 
phrase  he  flung  at  "  Ivanhoe"  and  "  'The  Bride  of  Ravensmuir,'  or  whatever 
its  name  may  be."  The  poems  as  well  as  the  novels  supply,  he  thinks,  "  both 
instance  and  solution  of  the  present  conditions  and  components  of  popularity, 
viz.,  to  amuse  without  requiring  any  effort  of  thought  and  without  exciting 
any  emotion."  Does  this  explain  why,  a  little  later,  he  said  that  when  he 
was  very  ill  indeed,  Scott's  novels  were  almost  the  only  books  that  he  could 
read  .''  Or  is  there  evidence  here  of  a  change  of  heart .''  Towards  the  poetry 
he  never  relaxed.  Not  twenty  lines  of  it,  he  said,  would  ever  reach  posterity, 
for  it  had  relation  to  nothing.  This  opinion  was  heartily  shared  by  Landor, 
who  called  Scott  an  ale-house  writer,  and  said  of  his  verse,  "  It  is  not  to  be 
sung  or  danced,  it  is  to  be  jumped."  Thomas  L.  Peacock  compared  the 
Waverley  series  to  the  pantomimes  of  the  stage,  with  this  difference,  that  the 
latter  were  told  in  music  and  action,  the  other  in  the  worst  dialects  of  the 
English  language.  "  As  to  any  sentence  worth  remembering,  any  moral  or 
political  truth,  anything  having  a  tendency,  however  remote,  to  make  men 
wiser  or  better,  to  make  them  think,  to  make  them  even  think  5f  thinking, — 
they  were  both  alike." 

Johnson  could  never  see  anything  in  Gray.  He  attacked  him  in  print  and 
in  his  private  conversation.  "  A  dull  fellow,"  he  said  to  Boswell  ;  and  when 
the  latter  remonstrated, — "  he  might  be  dull  in  company,  but  surely  he  was 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  20I 

not  dull  in  poetry," — Johnson  continued,  "Sir,  he  was  dull  in  company,  dull 
in  his  closet,  dull  everywhere.  He  was  dull  in  a  new  way,  and  that  made 
many  people  call  him  great."  Of  Churchill  he  remarked,  "  I  called  the  fellow 
a  blockliead  at  first,  and  I  call  him  a  blockhead  still."  Fielding  also  was  a 
"blockhead,"  and  upon  Bozzy's  venturing  to  express  "astonishment  at  so 
strange  an  assertion,"  Johnson  was  good  enough  to  explain,  "  What  I  mean 
by  his  being  a  blockhead  is,  that  he  is  a  barren  rascal."  Over  and  over  again 
he  showed  his  contempt  of  Swift.  Dining  once  in  the  company  of  some 
friends,  the  doctor  said,  dogmatically,  "  Swift  was  a  shallow  fellow,  a  very  shal- 
low fellow."  Sheridan,  with  whom  Swift  was  a  favorite,  dissented  :  "Pardon 
me  for  differing  from  you,  but  I  have  always  thougiit  the  Dean  a  very  clear 
writer."     Said  Johnson,  triumphantly,  "  All  shallows  are  clear." 

Horace  Walpole,  an  acute  man  and  fond  of  books,  was  as  bitter  and  preju- 
diced as  Johnson  himself.  Perhaps  that  was  one  reason  why  he  hated  John- 
son and  found  nothing  better  to  say  of  him  than  that  he  was  a  babbling  old 
woman.  "  Prejudice  and  bigotry,  and  pride  and  presumption,  and  arrogance 
and  pedantry,  are  the  hags  that  brew  his  ink,  though  wages  alone  supply 
his  bread."  Boswell's  book  he  curtly  dismisses  as  the  story  of  a  mountebank 
and  his  zany.  Of  Horace  Walpole  in  his  turn,  and  of  his  "Mysterious 
Mother," — which  Byron  praised  so  extravagantly  as  "a  tragedy  of  the 
highest  order,  and  not  a  puling  love-play," — Coleridge  remarked  that  it 
is  "  the  most  disgusting,  vile,  detestable  composition  that  ever  came 
from  the  hand  of  man.  No  one  with  a  spark  of  true  manliness,  of  which 
Horace  Walpole  had  none,  could  have  written  it."  Coleridge  accused 
Gibbon  of  "sacrificing  all  truth  and  reality,"  called  his  style  detestable, 
and  added,  "  His  style  is  not  the  worst  thing  about  him.  His  history  has 
proved  an  effectual  bar  to  all  real  familiarity  with  the  temper  and  habits  of 
imperial  Rome."  In  Landor's  view  Gibbon  was  an  old  dressed-up  fop, 
keeping  up  the  same  sneering  grin  from  one  end  of  his  history  to  the  other 
with  incredible  fixity.  Of  Coleridge's  "Ancient  Mariner,"  even  his  friend 
Southey  said,  "  It  is  the  clumsiest  attempt  at  German  simplicity  I  ever  saw." 
Mrs.  Barbauld  rather  grotesquely  found  fault  with  the  same  poem,  because  it 
was  "  improbable  and  had  no  moral."  Coleridge  thought  it  had  too  much 
moral.  Byron  called  Spenser  a  dull  fellow,  Chaucer  obscene  and  contemptible, 
and  scornfully  characterized  Wordsworth's  masterpiece  as 
A  clumsy,  frowzy  poem  called  The  Excursion, 


Writ  in  a  manner  that  is  my  aversion. 
But  Wordsworth  could  be  equally  unjust.  Dryden's  "  Ode  on  St.  Cecilia's 
Day"  seemed  to  him  a  "  drunken  song,"  and  Burns's  "  Scots  wha  hae  wi'  Wal- 
lace bled"  was  "  trash  !  stuff !  miserable  inanity  !  without  a  thought,  without 
an  image !" 

Horace  Walpole  called  Dante  "extravagant,  absurd,  disgusting  :  in  short, 
a  Methodist  parson  in  Bedlam."  Voltaire  characterized  the  "  Divina  Com- 
media"  as  stupidly  extravagant  and  barbarous,"  and  said  of  its  author  that 
"his  reputation  will  now  continually  be  growing  greater  and  greater,  because 
there  is  now  nobody  who  reads  him."  That  is,  indeed,  the  fate  of  all  the 
immortals,  to  become  classics,  or,  in  other  words,  books  which  are  much 
praised  and  little  read  because  the  people  who  praise  them  find  them  unread- 
able. 

In  his  "  Philosophy  of  the  Human  Mind"  Dr.  Thomas  Brown  has  some 
shrewd  remarks  about  the  number  of  people  who  willingly  join  in  expressing 
veneration  for  works  which  they  would  think  it  a  heavy  burden  to  read  from 
beginning  to  end. 

"What  will  you  say,"  writes  Lord  Chesterfield,  "when  I  tell  you  that  I 
cannot  possibly  read  our  countryman,  Milton,  through  ?"     He  seems  to  be  in 


202  HANDY-BGOK  OF, 

something  of  a  funk  about  it.  "  Keep  the  secret  for  me,"  he  begs,  "  for  if  it 
should  be  known,  I  should  be  abused  by  every  tasteless  pedant  and  every 
solid  divine  in  Europe."  Even  the  great  A.  K.  H.  B.  candidly-acknowledges 
that  he  would  rather  read  Mr.  Helps  than  Milton. 

Tom  Moore  declared  that  he  found  Chaucer  unreadable.  Lord  Lansdowne 
acknowledged  that  he  was  secretly  of  the  same  opinion,  but  did  not  dare  to 
speak  of  it.  Charlotte  Bronte  in  her  list  of  legcnda  notes,  "  For  history, 
read  Hume,  Rollin,  and  the  'Universal  History,'  if  you  can:  I  never  did." 
Lord  Ellenborough,  after  prolonged  and  conscientious  effort,  gave  up  the 
"Wealth  of  Nations"  as  "impossible  to  read."  "Can  you  read  Voltaire's 
'  Henriade'  ?"  asked  Mr.  Senior  of  M.  de  Tocqueville.  "  No,  nor  can  any 
one  else,"  was  the  prompt  reply.  Once  at  Abbotsford  some  one  remarked  in 
Scott's  presence  that  he  had  never  known  any  one  who  had  read  the  "  Henri- 
ade" through.  "I  have  read  it  and  live,"  replied  Sir  Walter;  "but,  indeed, 
in  my  youth  I  read  everything." 

Professor  Masson,  lecturing  on  Sidney's  "  Arcadia,"  acknowledges  that  no- 
body not  absolutely  Sidney-smitten  could  possibly  read  it  through,  and  in 
another  lecture  on  Boyle's  "  Parthenissa"  he  boldly  and  candidly  owns 
that  he  had  not  been  able  to  penetrate  more  than  a  few  pages  beyond  the 
introductory  sentence,  and  anon,  referring  to  various  old-world  worthies  who 
are  brought  into  the  story,  he  adds,  "  how  they  came  into  the  story,  or  what 
the  story  is,  I  cannot  tell  you,  nor  will  any  mortal  know,  any  more  than  I  do, 
between  this  and  doomsday."  Macaulay  was  an  omnivorous  reader.  Yet 
Macaulay  finds  in  the  "  Faerie  Queene"  one  unpardonable  fault,  the  fault  of 
tediousness.  "  Very  few  and  very  weary  are  those  who  are  in  at  the  death  of 
the  Blatant  Beast."  Macaulay  himself  was  not  of  those  few,  or  he  would  have 
known  that  the  Blatant  Beast  does  not  die  at  all,  though  lamed  for  the  time  by 
Calydore.     The  last  stanza  tells  us  that 

Now  he  raungeth  through  the  world  againe, 
And  rageth  sore  in  each  degree  and  state, 
Ne  any  is  that  may  him  now  restraine, 
He  growen  is  so  great  and  strong  of  late. 

Lessing's  epigram  is  worth  quoting  : 

Klopstock  is  great,  sublime,  the  German  Milton  : 

Ail  praise  the  bard,  but  will  they  read  him? — No, 
Us  common  men  who  walk  without  a  stilt  on, 
If  you  will  read,  we'll  let  your  praises  go. 

As  the  great  of  the  past  are  often  overrated,  so  the  great  of  the  present  are 
as  often  underrated. 

Heine,  in  his  "  Essay  on  the  German  Romantic  School,"  points  out  the  error 
of  supposing  that  Goethe's  early  fame  bore  any  due  comparison  with  his 
deserts.  He  was  indeed  praised  for  "  Werter"  and  "Goetz  von  Berlichingen," 
but  the  romances  of  August  Lafontaine  were  in  equal  demand,  and  the  latter, 
being  a  voluminous  author,  was  much  more  in  men's  mouths.  The  poets  of 
the  period  were  Wieland  and  Ramler,  and  Kotzebue  and  Iffland  ruled  the 
stage.  And  when  Goethe  had  established  himself  in  his  own  country,  it  was 
a  much  harder  fight  to  obtain  recognition  abroad.  In  England,  Jeffrey  thought 
that  he  was  no  gentleman,  and  denounced  "  Wilhelm  Meister"  in  \\\&  Edinburgh 
Review.  Coleridge  called  "  Faust"  a  series  of  magic-lantern  pictures,  and  said 
that  much  of  it  "is  vulgar,  licentious,  and  blasphemous."  De  Quincey  was 
even  more  emphatic:  "Not  the  basest  of  Egyptian  superstition,  not  Titania 
under  enchantment,  not  Caliban  in  drunkenness,  ever  shaped  to  themselves 
an  idol  more  weak  or  hollow  than  modern  Germany  has  set  up  for  its  worship 
in  the  person  of  Goethe."  "'Wilhelm  Meister'"  is  "a  puny  fabric  of  baby- 
houses,"  "totally  without  interest  as  a  novel,"  and  abounding  with  "over- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  203 

powering  abominations."  In  France,  Victor  Hugo  fought  tooth  and  nail 
against  the  master  to  whom  indirectly  he  owed  so  much.  "  He  is  a  monster, 
a  brute  ;  he  never  wrote  anything  worth  reading  except  'The  Robbers,'  "  cried 
Hugo  one  day  to  a  crowd  of  admirers.  Somebody  murmured  that  "The 
Robbers"  was  written  not  by  Goethe  but  by  Schiller.  "  And  even  that  is 
Schiller's,"  continued  the  poet,  without  any  apparent  notice  of  the  interruption. 

"  It  is  easy,"  says  Colonel  Higginson,  "  for  older  men  to  recall  when  Thack- 
eray and  Dickens  were  in  some  measure  obscured  by  now-forgotten  contem- 
poraries, like  Harrison  Ainsworth  and  G.  P.  R.  James,  and  when  one  was 
gravely  asked  whether  he  preferred  Tennyson  to  Milnes  or  Sterling  or  Trench 
or  Alford  or  Faber.  It  is  to  me  one  of  the  most  vivid  reminiscences  of  my 
college  graduation  that,  having  rashly  ventured  upon  a  commencement  oration 
whose  theme  was  'Poetry  in  an  Unpoetical  Age,'  I  closed  with  an  urgent 
appeal  to  young  poets  to  'lay  down  their  Spenser  and  Tennyson'  and  look 
into  life  for  themselves.  Professor  Edward  T.  Channing,  then  the  highest 
literary  authority  in  New  England,  paused  in  amazement,  with  uplifted  pencil, 
over  this  combination  of  names.  'You  mean,'  he  said,  'that  they  should 
neither  defer  to  the  highest  authority  nor  be  influenced  by  the  lowest .'"  When 
I  persisted,  with  the  zeal  of  seventeen,  that  I  had  no  such  meaning,  but 
regarded  them  both  as  among  the  gods,  he  said,  good-naturedly,  'Ah  !  that  is 
a  different  thing.  I  wish  you  to  say  what  you  think.  I  regard  Tennyson  as  a 
great  calf;  but  you  are  entitled  to  your  own  opinion.'  The  oration  met  with 
much  applause  at  certain  passages,  including  this  one  ;  and  the  applause  was 
just,  for  these  passages  were  written  by  my  eldest  sister,  who  had  indeed 
suggested  the  subject  of  the  whole  address.  But  I  fear  that  its  only  value  to 
posterity  will  consist  in  the  remark  it  elicited  from  the  worthy  professor  ;  this 
comment  affording  certainly  an  excellent  milestone  for  Tennyson's  early 
reputation." 

Carlyle  was  denounced  as  a  mountebank,  and  his  style  characterized  as  a 
travesty  of  English.  Ruskin  is  now  looked  upon  as  one  of  the  great  masters 
of  English  style,  yet  he,  too,  was  at  tirst  greeted  with  unmeasured  ridicule. 
"  When  Browning  published  his  first  poem,  '  Pauline,' "  so  Archdeacon  Farrar 
says,  "some  critic  or  other  called  him  'verbose.'  Unfortunately, — as  he  has 
told  us, — he  paid  too  much  attention  to  the  remark,  and,  in  his  desire  to  use  no 
superfluous  word,  studied  an  elliptic  concentration  of  style  which  told  fatally 
against  the  ready  intelligibility  of  '  Sordello'  and  other  later  poems."  And  the 
archdeacon  concludes  that  "  as  a  general  rule  an  author  of  any  merit  or  serious- 
ness could  not  possibly  do  a  more  foolish  thing  than  take  their  advice."  Yet 
one  would  like  to  advise  him  to  drop  such  a  pleonasm  as  "a  general  rule." 

The  praise  of  the  critics  is  frequently  as  amusing  as  their  blame.  "There 
are,"  says  Gautier,  in  the  preface  to  "Les  Grotesques,"  "strange  fluctuations 
in  reputations,  and  aureoles  change  heads.  After  death,  illuminated  foreheads 
are  extinguished  and  obscure  brows  grow  bright."  Who,  he  asks,  would 
to-day  believe  that  the  now-forgotten  Chapelain  passed  for  long  years  as  the 
greatest  poet  not  alone  of  France  but  of  the  whole  world,  and  that  nobody 
less  potent  than  the  Duchesse  de  Longueville  would  have  dared  to  go  to  sleep 
over  his  poem  of  "La  Pucelle" .-'  Yet  this  was  in  the  time  of  Corneille,  Ra- 
cine, Moliere,  and  La  Fontaine.  Locke  endorsed  the  opinion  of  his  friend 
Molyneux,  that,  Milton  excepted,  all  English  poets  were  mere  ballad-makers 
beside  "everlasting  Blackmore."  Rimer  set  Crowley's  forgotten  epic  above 
Tasso's  "Jerusalem."  Goldsmith  says  that  the  work  he  would  select  as  the 
most  perfect  example  of  English  genius  would  be  the  "  Rape  of  the  Lock." 
Hobbes  told  Sir  William  Davenant  that  his  poem  "Gondibert"  would  last  as 
long  as  the  Iliad.  Yet  "Gondibert"  is  as  obsolete  as  Darwin's  'Botanic 
Garden,"  which  Walpole  thought  the  most  delicious  poem  upon  earth.     Dr. 


204  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Johnson  once  astonished  his  hearers  by  declaring  that  a  description  of  a 
temple  in  Congreve's  "Mourning  Bride"  was  the  finest  he  knew, — finer  than 
anything  in  Shakespeare.  Garrick  protested  in  vain.  The  doctor  was  not 
to  be  moved. 

Horace  Walpole  thought  that  Mason  was  a  poet  "if  ever  there  was  one," 
and  expressed  a  desire  for  his  acquaintance  and  that  of  Christopher  Anstey, 
author  of  "The  New  Bath  Guide."  He  had  no  thirst,  he  added,  to  know  the 
rest  of  his  contemporaries,  "  from  the  absurd  bombast  of  Dr.  Johnson  down 
to  the  silly  Dr.  Goldsmith  ;  though  the  latter  changeling  has  had  bright 
gleams  of  parts,  and  the  former  had  sense  till  he  changed  it  for  words  and 
sold  it  for  a  pension."  Byron  crowned  Scott  as  the  monarch  of  the  contem- 
porary Parnassus,  which  was  not  so  very  far  out  of  the  way,  but  the  pyramid 
of  poets  whereof  Scott  was  the  apex  was  oddly  enough  constructed.  Directly 
below  came  Rogers,  then  Moore  and  Campbell  together,  and  last  of  all  at  the 
widened  base  "  Southey  and  Wordsworth  and  Coleridge,  the  rest  oi  'Kol'koi." 
His  respect  for  Rogers  was  inordinate.  He  called  him  the  "  Tithonus  of 
Poetry,  immortal  already,"  and  condemned  himself  and  all  the  revolutionary 
school  in  comparison  with  that  very  faded  Tithonus,  and  the  much  stronger, 
but  scarcely  immortal,  Crabbe.  And  he  thought  that  Horace  Walpole  was 
"surely  worthy  of  a  higher  place  than  any  living  author,  be  he  who  he  may." 
Hannah  More  wrote  of  John  Langhorne, — 

Long  as  the  rock  shall  rear  its  head  on  high. 

And  lift  its  bold  front  to  the  azure  sky, 

Long  as  these  adamantine  hills  survive. 

So  long,  harmonious  Langhorne,  shalt  thou  live. 

And  another  literary  blue,  the  once  famous  Anna  Seward,  predicted  that 
"Madoc"  would  outlive  "  Paradise  Lost." 

We  may  laugh  at  all  the  examples,  both  of  praise  and  of  blame,  that  are 
here  collected.  Yet,  at  least,  they  are  infinitely  more  valuable  than  the  par- 
rot-like judgments  of  what  are  known  as  cultivated  people, — mere  echoes  of 
the  accepted  opinion^  of  the  day.  The  profound  and  often  unconscious  in- 
sincerity of  the  people  who  admire  whatever  they  are  told  to  admire  is  one 
of  the  stumbling-blocks  in  the  way  of  rightly  estimating  the  value  of  any 
great  man's  work  in  the  world.  Shakespeare  has  delighted  many  high  intel- 
ligences, he  has  offended  others.  The  crowd  at  various  times  has  thought  it 
was  offended  or  delighted.  Is  Shakespeare  really  a  great  man,  or  a  mighty 
imposition  thrust  upon  the  world  i  It  is  not  the  scholar  to  whom  we  can 
appeal.  His  books  have  biassed  him.  The  unfeigned  delight  of  the  god  in 
the  gallery  is  more  valuable,  because  more  genuine.  Yet  even  that  is  not 
final.  The  god  puts  "Othello"  and  "  Hamlet"  on  a  par  with  "  Spartacus," 
and  is  as  much  pleased  with  the  last  burlesque  as  with  "  The  Tempest."  (See, 
also,  Self-Appreciation  and  ReviewersJ 

Critics.  Lord  Aldegonde,  in  Disraeli's  "  Lothair,"  propounds  the  famous 
quesuon  and  answer,  "  You  know  who  the  critics  are  ?  The  men  who  have 
failed  in  Literature  and  Art  !"  The  phrase  was  hailed  with  public  rejoicing, 
for  critics  never  were  a  popular  class.  But  the  critics  had  their  revenge. 
They" showed  that  the  saying  was  a  plagiarism,  that  it  had  been  anticipated  by 
a  shoal  of  writers.  The  closest  and  most  recent  parallel  was  found  in  Balzac's 
"Cousin  Bette,"  1846:  "  Enfin  il  passa  critique,  comme  tous  les  impuissants 
qui  manquent  a  leurs  deljuts"  ("At  last  he  became  a  critic,  like  all  impotents 
who  fail  at  their  debut").  The  earliest  was  in  Dryden  :  "  111  writers  are 
usually  the  sharpest  censors,  for  they  (as  the  best  poet  and  the  best  patron 
said), — 

When  in  the  full  perfection  of  decay. 

Turn  vinegar  and  come  again  to  play. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  205- 

Thus  the  corruption  of  a  poet  is  the  generation  of  a  critic."  (^Miscellany 
Poems,  1693,  vol.  iii.,  preface.)  A  few  of  the  connecting  links  between  Dryden 
and  Balzac  may  Tse  quoted  : 

Some  have  at  first  for  Wits,  then  Poets  past. 
Turned  Critics  next,  and  proved  plain  Fools  at  last. 

Pope:  Essay  on  Criticism  (1711). 

Reviewers  are  usually  people  who  would  have  been  poets,  historians,  biographers,  if  they 
could  ;  they  have  tried  their  talents  at  one  or  the  other,  .and  have  failed  ;  therefore  they  turn 
critics. — Coleridge  :  Lectures  o?i  Shakespeare  and  Milton. 

Reviewers,  with  some  rare  exceptions,  are  a  most  stupid  and  malignant  race.  As  a  bank- 
rupt thief  turns  thief-taker  in  despair,  so  an  unsuccessful  author  turns  critic. — Shelley  :  Frag- 
ments 0/  Adonais . 

Crocodile's  tears.  Sham  tears  or  hypocritical  sorrow, — an  allusion  to  the 
old  superstition  that  the  crocodile,  to  allure  travellers  within  its  reach,  sighs 
and  moans  like  a  person  in  distress.  In  point  of  fact,  crocodiles  do  emit  loud 
and  plaintive  cries,  not  unlike  the  mournful  howling  of  dogs.  Early  and 
credulous  travellers  would  naturally  associate  tears  with  these  cries,  and,  once 
begun,  the  superstition  would  be  readily  propagated.  Both  in  Latin  and  in 
Greek  the  expression  was  a  common  one  in  proverbial  literature.  Polydore 
Virgil,  in  his  "  Adagiorum  Liber"  (149S),  says  that  the  crocodile  "wept  at  the 
sight  of  a  man,"  and,  causing  him  in  this  way  to  approach,  devoured  him. 
Hence  the  proverb,  crocodile's  tears  (lacrytnce  crocodili),  applied  to  those  who 
falsely  arouse  the  pity  and  charity  of  men.  Erasmus,  in  his  "  Adagia," 
quotes  both  the  Latin  and  the  Greek  form  of  the  proverb,  and  in  his  "  Col- 
loquy on  Friendship"  gives  a  story  from  i^lian's  "  De  Animalium  Natura" 
(early  part  of  the  third  century)  to  the  effect  that  the  crocodile  fills  his  mouth 
with  water  and  ejects  it  in  order  to  make  the  path  slippery  for  his  expected 
prey.  In  the  "  Adagia"  he  explains  that  the  crocodile  macerates  the  skulls 
of  his  victims  with  his  tears  that  he  may  soften  them  before  eating.  Sir  John 
Maundeville,  in  his  "  Voiage"  (1356),  among  other  wonderful  things,  relates 
that  "  in  a  certain  countree"  long  serpents  called  crocodiles  slew  men  and 
ate  them,  weeping.  The  same  fable  is  repeated  in  the  account  of  Sir  John 
Hawkins's  voyage  (1565),  and  malodorous  comparisons  are  there  made  between 
the  tears  of  the  crocodile  and  the  tears  of  women. 
Spenser,  in  his  "  Faerie  Queene,"  says, — 

As  when  a  wearie  traveller,  that  strayes 

By  muddy  shore  of  broad  seven-mouthed  Nile, 

Unweeting  of  the  perillous  wandring  wayes. 

Doth  meete  a  cruell  craftie  crocodile. 

Which,  in  false  griefe  hyding  his  harmefuU  guile. 

Doth  weepe  full  sore  and  sheddeth  tender  teares. 

The  foolish  man,  that  pities  all  this  while 

His  moumefull  plight,  is  swallowed  up  unwares, 

Forgetfull  of  his  owne  that  mindes  an  others  cares. 

Book  i..  Canto  v..  Stanza  18. 

And  Shakespeare, — 

Gloster's  show 
Beguiles  him,  as  the  mournful  crocodile 
With  sorrow  snares  relenting  passengers. 

Hetiry  VI.,  Fart  II.,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  i. 

Cross-mark,  which  persons  who  cannot  write  are  required  to  make  in  lieu 
of  their  signatures,  was  not  always  a  sign  of  illiteracy.  Among  the  Saxons 
the  mark  of  the  cross  as  an  attestation  of  the  good  faith  of  the  person  sign- 
ing was  required  to  be  attached  to  the  signature  of  those  who  could  write,  as 
well  as  to  take  the  place  of  the  signature  of  those  who  could  not.  It  was,  in 
fact,  the  symbol  of  an  oath  from  its  holy  associations,  and  was  generally 
known  as  the  mark.  "  God  save  the  mark  !"  an  expression  that  may  be  found 
18 


2o6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

in  Shakespeare,  and  is  stil!  in  current  use,  was  originally  a  form  of  ejaculation 
approaching  to  the  character  of  an  oath. 

Cross  row  or  Criss-cross  row,  the  name  popularly  given  to  the  alphabet, 
because  in  the  ancient  hornbooks  a  rude  picture  of  a  cross  preceded  the  letter 
A.  The  explanation  that  the  alphabet  used  to  be  arranged  in  the  form  of  a 
cross  is  now  derided. 

Tbe  assertion  that  the  alphabet  was  written  or  printed  in  hornbooks  in  the  form  of  a 
cross  is  one  that  may  be  moralized  on  to  advantage  by  explainers  of  old  stonesand  would-be 
etymologists.  Christ's  cross  was  cruciform,  the  alphabet  was  called  Christ  s  cross,— the 
word  "  row"' being  of  no  consequence  when  it  stops  a  theory,— therefore  the  alphabet  was 
in  a  cruciform  shape.  Imagination  further  asks,  How  cculd  this  be  done?  The  answer 
comes  readily,  even  from  one  of  the  meanest  capacity:  the  consonants  formed  the  per- 
pendicular the  vowels  the  shorter  transverse.  Q.  E  D.  Yet  all  is  imagination,  and  the 
fact  that  the  cross  commenced  the  alphabetic  row  is  wholly  ignored.  I  say  "  imagination, 
for  1  like  some  of  your  correspondents,  doubt  extremely  whether  such  an  eccentric  arrange- 
ment as  a  cruciform  one  can  be  found  in  any  hornbook.  Our  ancestors  had  various  faults, 
but  they  were  practical,  and  not  faddists;  they  seldom,  too,  moved  out  of  a  groove.  In 
addition  to  the  examples  of  hornbooks  quoted  or  representations  that  I  have  seen,  I  would 
eive  these  :  Minsheu,  1617,  has  "  The  Chrisse-cross  (and  Christ's  cross)  Row  or  A  B  C  : 
Cotgrave  "  La  croix  de  par  Dieu,  The  Christ's-cross  row,  or  the  hornbook  wherein  a  child 
learns  if''  while  Sherwood  synonymizes  the  cross-row  with  "  La  croix,"  etc.,  and  with 
"  1' Alphabet,"  this  last  word  being  omitted  by  Cotgrave.  Again,  Th.  Cooper,  1574,  and 
Holyoke's  "Rider"  speak  under  "  Alphabetum"  and  "  Abece  larius  not  of  the  •  cross 
rows"  nor  of  the  "  cross,"  but  of  "  the  cro^s"  as  synonymous  with  the  alphabet  ;  and 
Thomasius,  1594,  says,  "  The  cross  row,  or  A  B  C"— Notes  and  Queries. 

Crow,  Eating.  Crow  is  an  unpalatable  bird,  and  "eating  crow"  is  one  of 
the  popular  phrases  to  indicate  the  enforced  doing  of  some  unpleasant  thing, 
especially  the  enforced  confession  of  error,  and  is  analogous  to  "  eatmg  your 
own  words,"  "eating  humble-pie,"  " eating  dirt,"  etc.  Indeed, some  wiseacres 
would  derive  it  from  the  French  "manger  lacvott"  (eating  dirt  or  refuse),  croU 
(pronounced  era)  being  the  old  spelling,  thus:  "The  dirt  and  crott  oi  Pans 
may  be  smelt  miles  off'  (Howel's  "  Londinopolis,"  1657).  But  the  Amer- 
ican phrase  is  sufficiently  intelligible  as  it  stands,  without  any  far-fetched  foreign 
derivation.  .  .      ,     .  , 

Two  stories,  good  enough  to  become  classic,  have  entwined  themselves 
around  this  phrase  and  j^ofess  to  give  its  origin.  Both  are  probably  apoc- 
ryphal, but  both  are  worth  preserving. 

The  first  apijcared  in  the  Knickerbocker  Magazine  half  a  century  ago,  and 
concerns  a  thrifty  boarding-house-keeper  on  the  Hudson  and  an  indigent 
patron.  Whenever  the  latter  remonstrated  at  the  food  he  was  told  he  was 
"too  partikler."  "/kin  eat  anything,"  asserted  the  autocrat  of  the  table, 
with  a  proud  consciousness  of  superiority  ;  "  I  kin  eat  crow."  The  constant 
repetition  of  these  words  wearied  the  boarder.  Finally  he  resolved  to  test  the 
old  man.  Taking  his  gun  with  him,  he  succeeded  in  bagging  a  fine,  fat  old 
crow.  By  dint  of  soft  words  and  filthy  lucre  he  induced  the  cook  to  prepare 
that  crow  for  the  table.  The  cook  was  a  Scotchwoman,  and  used  snuff.  He 
borrowed  all  she  had,  and  sprinkled  it  liberally  over  the  crow,  gave  it  an 
extra  turn,  and  brought  it  before  the  host,  saying,  as  he  set  it  down,  "  Now, 
my  dear  sir,  you  have  said  a  thousand  times,  if  you  have  said  it  once,  that  you 
can  eat  crow  ;  here  is  one  very  carefully  cooked."  The  old  man  turned  pale 
for  a  moment,  but,  bracing  himself  against  the  back  of  his  chair,  and  with,  "  I 
kin  eat  crow,"  he  began  cutting  a  good  mouthful.  He  swallowed  it,  and,  pre- 
paring for  a  second  onslaught,  looked  his  boarder  straight  in  the  eye,  and 
ejaculated,  "I've  eat  crow,"  and  took  a  second  portion.  He  lifted  his  hands 
mechanically,  as  if  for  a  third  attack,  but  dropped  them  quickly  over  the 
region  of  his  stomach,  and,  rising  hurriedly  and  unsteadily,  retreated  for  the 
door,  muttering,  as  he  went,  "  but  dang  me  if  I  hanker  arter  it." 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  207 

The  other  story,  which  is  even  better,  has  been  told  in  a  variety  of  ways, 
but  this  is  the  most  finished  version  : 

A  Massachusetts  regiment  during  the  civil  war  was  encamped  near  the  estate 
of  a  wealthy  planter.  A  city-bred  private,  having  shot  a  tame  crow  on  the 
planter's  ground,  was  discovered  by  the  owner  with  the  bird  in  his  possession. 
Seizing  the  private's  musket,  which  lay  on  the  ground,  the  irate  planter  cried, 
"  As  you've  killed  my  crow,  you've  got  to  eat  it."  There  was  no  escape,  and 
the  private  had  to  eat.    After  a  few  mouthfuls,  the  planter  asked,  with  a  grin, — 

"  How  do  you  like  crow  .-"' 

"Well,"  was  the  reply,  "I  kin  eat  it,  but  I  don't  hanker  arter  it." 

"All  right,"  said  the  planter;  "you've  done  pretty  well.  Here,  take  your 
gun  and  get  off." 

But  no  sooner  was  the  gun  in  the  soldier's  hands  than  he  pointed  it  at  the 
planter,  saying,  "  Now  you've  got  to  eat  your  share  of  crow." 

And  the  planter,  swearing  and  spluttering,  was  forced  to  obey.  Next  day 
the  planter  came  into  camp  and  reported  to  the  colonel  that  he  had  been 
insulted  by  a  Federal  soldier.  Strict  orders  had  been  issued  against  insulting 
or  injuring  residents.  The  planter's  description  served  to  bring  the  soldier 
before  the  impromptu  tribunal. 

"  Did  you  ever  see  this  gentleman  before  ?"  asked  the  colonel. 

"Oh,  ya-as,"  drawled  the  soldier:  "we — ah — we  dined  together  yesterday." 

Crow,  To  pluck,  pull,  or  pick  a.  This  English  phrase,  standing  alone, 
meant  simply  to  busy  one's  self  about  a  matter  of  no  importance,  to  take  trouble 
for  nothing,  a  crow  being  a  valueless  bird.  To  pluck  a  crow  with  one — i.e., 
to  have  a  quarrel  with  him — seems  to  be  a  natural  outgrowth  of  the  older 
phrase,  equivalent  to  "  I  have  a  little  affair  to  settle  with  him."  The  unpopular 
character  of  the  bird  would  add  to  the  force  of  the  threat.  An  attempt  has 
been  unsuccessfully  made  to  prove  that  the  word  crow  is  a  corruption  of  croc, 
pronounced  cro,  a  French  word  sometimes  used  for  whiskers.  So  the  phrase 
would  mean,  "  I  will  pull  whiskers  with  him."  From  the  strictly  humorous 
point  of  view  this  etymon  has  merit.  In  Ireland,  as  well  as  in  some  parts  of 
America,  it  seems  the  proper  thing  for  the  threatened  party  to  answer,  "  And 
I've  got  a  bag  to  hold  the  feathers." 

If  not,  resolve  before  we  go 
That  you  and  I  must  pull  a  crow. 

Butler  :  Hudibras, 
We'll  pluck  a  crow  together. 

Comedy  of  Errors,  Act.  iii. 

Cruelty  is  clemency.     Hamlet  was  not  the  first  person  who  said, — 

I  must  be  cruel  only  to  be  kind. 

Act  iii.,  Sc.  4. 

The  Italians  have  a  proverb,  "Sometimes  clemency  is  cruelty  and  cruelty 
is  clemency,"  which  has  been  made  memorable  over  all  similar  allocutions 
because  Catherine  de  Medicis  quoted  it  to  still  the  scruples  of  her  son  and 
nerve  him  for  the  massacre  of  St.  Bartholomew. 

Crying  at  Birth.  In  the  Wisdom  of  Solomon,  vii.  3,  occurs  this  well- 
known  verse  :  "  When  I  was  born,  I  drew  in  the  common  air,  and  fell  upon 
the  earth,  which  is  of  like  nature,  and  the  first  voice  which  I  uttered  was 
crying,  as  all  others  do."  Lucretius  has  a  parallel  passage  which  may  thus 
be  translated  : 

The  infant,  as  soon  as  Nature  with  great  pangs  of  travail  hath  sent  it  forth  from  the  womb 
of  its  mother  into  the  regions  of  light,  lies,  like  a  sailor  cast  out  from  the  waves,  naked  upon 
the  eanh,  in  utter  want  and  helplessness,  and  fills  every  place  around  with  mournful  wailings 


2o8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

and  piteous  lamentations,  as  is  natural  for  one  who  has  so  many  ills  of  life  in  store  for  him,  so 
many  evils  which  he  must  pass  through  and  suffer. — De  Rerum  Natura,  v.  223. 

Shakespeare  may  have  had  Lucretius  in  mind  when  he  wrote, — 

Thou  must  be  patient :  we  came  crying  hither; 
Thou  know'st  the  first  time  that  we  smell  the  air 
We  wawle  and  cry, — 

When  we  are  born,  we  cry,  that  we  are  come 
To  this  great  stage  of  fools. 

Lear. 

Among  the  parallels  between  Shakespeare  and  Bacon  dwelt  on  with  special 
insistence  by  the  Baconians  is  the  following,  as  compared  with  the  above  : 
What,  then,  remains  but  that  we  still  should  cry 
For  being  bom,  and,  being  born,  to  die? 
Bacon  :   I  lie  World. 

But  the  thought  is  too  common  to  allow  the  building  of  any  argument  on 
the  very  slight  resemblance.     The  last  line,  by  the  way,  occurs  in  the  form, 
Not  to  be  born,  or,  being  bom,  to  die, 

both  in  Drummond  and  in  Bishop  King.  Sir  William  Jones  has  translated 
from  the  Persian  a  fine  quotation  in  which  the  same  thought  is  made  to  point 
a  noble  moral  : 

On  parent  knees,  a  naked  new-born  child. 
Weeping  thou  sat'st,  while  all  around  thee  smiled ; 
So  live,  that,  sinking  in  thy  last  long  sleep. 
Calm  thou  may'st  smile,  while  all  around  thee  weep. 

On  the  other  hand,  Sir  Thomas  Browne,  quoting  from  Aristotle  on  "Animals" 
in  his  commonplace  books,  has  the  query, — 

Why,  though  some  children  have  been  heard  to  cry  in  the  womb,  yet  so  few  cry  at  their 
birth,  though  their  heads  be  out  of  the  womb? 

In  the  same  connection  he  notes  that  children,  according  to  the  same 
authority,  "though  they  cry,  weep  not  till  after  forty  days,  or,  as  Scaliger 
expresseth  it,  vagiunt  sed  oculis  siccis." 

Cuibono?  This  Latin  phrase,  which  really  means  "Who  gains  by  it  ?" 
"To  whose  advantage  is  it .-"'  is  constantly  misapplied  in  the  sense  of  "  What's 
the  good  of  it  i*"  and  in  this  sense  has  become  authorized  by  the  usage  of  the 
best  writers  and  speakers.  The  origin  of  the  expression  was  as  follows. 
When  Lucius  Cassius,  a  man  of  stern  severity,  sat  as  qujestor  judicii  in  a 
murder  trial,  he  always  instructed  the  judices,  or  jurymen,  to  seek  for  a  motive 
by  asking,  Cui  bono?  {i.e.,  Cui  bono  fuerit  ?)  "Who  was  benefited.'"'  by  the 
crime.  The  maxim  passed  into  a  proverb,  and  was  immortalized  by  Cicero,  who 
quoted  it  in  the  Second  Philippic  and  in  the  orations  for  Milo  and  Roscius. 

Cup.  There's  many  a  slip  'twixt  the  cup  and  the  lip.  In  one  form 
or  other  this  proverb  is  found  in  the  folk-sayings  of  most  European  coun- 
tries, and  it  was  current  among  the  Latins  and  the  Greeks.  Lycophron  tells 
this  story  of  its  origin.  Ancaeus,  son  of  Poseidon  and  Alta,  was  a  king  of  the 
Leleges  in  Samos,  who  took  especial  pleasure  in  the  cultivation  of  the  grape 
and  prided  himself  upon  his  numerous  vineyards.  In  his  eagerness  he  un- 
mercifully overtaxed  the  slaves  who  worked  there.  A  seer  announced  that 
for  his  cruelty  he  would  not  live  to  taste  the  wine  from  his  grapes.  The 
harvest  passed  safely,  and  then  the  wine-making,  and  Ancaeus,  holding  in  his 
hand  a  cup  containing  the  first  ruby  drops,  mocked  at  the  seer's  prophecy. 
But  the  prophet  replied,  "Many  things  happen  between  the  cup  and  the  lip." 
Just  then  a  cry  was  raised  that  a  wild  boar  had  broken  into  the  vineyard,  and 
the  king,  setting  down  his  untasted  cup,  hurried  off  to  direct  the  chase,  but 
was  himself  slain  by  the  boar. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  209 

Cupar.  There  is  a  familiar  Scotch  saying,  "  He  that  will  to  Cupar  maun 
to  Cupar"  (quoted  in  Scott's  "  Antiquary"),  equivalent  to  "  A  wilful  man  will 
have  his  way."  Cupar  being  the  head-quarters  of  all  the  judicial  business  of 
Fife  County,  all  disputes  were  carried  there  to  be  settled,  and  the  proverb  was 
applied  to  the  headstrong  who  would  go  to  law  against  the  advice  of  elders. 
There  is  a  story  of  two  men  convicted  of  horse-  or  sheep-stealing  ;  one  was 
caught  and  condemned  to  death  ;  the  other  escaped  arrest  till  his  curiosity  led 
him  to  go  to  Cupar  to  see  his  friend  executed,  where  he  was  identified  and 
shared  the  same  fate.  The  abovt  proverb  may  have  arisen  from  this  incident. 
Cupar  had  an  excessive  number  of  lawyers  in  proportion  to  its  population, 
and  litigation  seems  to  have  been  its  chief  industry.  "Cupar  justice"  was 
sometimes  used  as  synonymous  with  Jeddart  justice  {q.  v.). 

Cups  that  cheer  but  not  inebriate, — usually  misquoted  in  the  singular. 
The  phrase  occurs  in  Cowper's  "  Task  :" 

And  while  the  bubbling  and  loud-hissing  urn 
Throws  up  a  steamy  column,  and  the  cups 
That  cheer  but  not  inebriate  wait  on  each. 
So  let  us  welcome  peaceful  evening  in. 

The  Winter  Evening,  Book  iv.,  I.  34. 

Bishop  Berkeley  had  already  applied  the  epithet  to  his  favorite  tar-water, 
which  he  describes  as  "  of  a  nature  so  mild  and  benign  and  proportioned  to 
the  human  constitution  as  to  warm  without  heating,  to  cheer  but  not  inebriate." 
(^Siris,  par.  217.) 

What  a  delicate  speculation  it  is,  after  drinking  whole  goblets  of  tea, — 
The  cups  that  cheer  but  not  inebriate, 
and  letting  the  fumes  ascend  into  the  brain,  to  sit  considering  what  we  shall  have  for  supper, — 
eggs  and  a  rasher,  or  rabbit  smothered  in  onions,  or  an  excellent  veal  cutlet ! — Hazlitt  :   On 
Gohig  a  Journey, 

Curfew.  It  seems  little  short  of  heresy  to  question  the  tradition  that 
curfew  (Fr.  couvre-feu)  came  into  England  with  William  the  Conqueror,  or  to 
combat  the  good  old  definition  sanctioned  by  so  many  authorities,  "The 
ringing  of  an  evening  bell,  originally  a  signal  to  the  inhabitants  to  cover  fires, 
extinguish  lights,  and  retire  to  rest,  instituted  by  William  the  Conqueror." 

The  nursery  historian  has  waxed  sentimental  over  the  wrongs  of  the  con- 
quered Saxon,  and  has  conjured  up  pictures  that  must  be  balm  to  the  down- 
trodden Celt.     Even  Thomson  tells  us, — 

The  shivering  wretches  at  the  curfew  sound 
Dejected  sunk  into  their  sordid  beds. 

But  the  couvre-feu  was  known  before  William's  time,  both  in  England  and 
on  the  Continent.  He  did,  indeed,  issue  an  edict  on  the  subject ;  and  although 
this  edict  may  incidentally  have  helped  to  put  down  the  Saxon  beer-clubs,  which 
were  hotbeds  of  political  conspiracies,  its  primary  aim  was  as  a  precaution 
against  fire.  That  danger  was  an  ever-present  one  in  days  of  chimneyless 
wooden  houses.  The  ancient  city  ordinances  of  London  abound  in  stringent 
fire  regulations.  None  of  them,  however,  were  more  effective  than  the  "  cover- 
fire"  bell,  which  as  far  back  as  the  time  of  King  Alfred  was  rung  in  certain 
places  in  England.  William's  edict  rendered  compulsory  an  ancient  custom. 
But  it  was  a  wise  legislative  act,  and  not  a  bit  of  arbitrary  tyranny.  We  find 
plenty  of  early  traces  of  the  custom  or  its  equivalent,  as,  for  instance,  the 
blowing  of  a  horn  at  the  market-place,  in  Continental  Europe. 

It  is  a  curious  instance  of  the  conservative  tendency  of  the  rural  mind  in 
England  that  the  custom  of  ringing  the  curfew  should  have  so  long  survived 
its  original  significance. 

Curfew  is  still  religiously  tolled  in  many  hundreds  of  towns  and  villages, 
0  18* 


2IO  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

either  all  the  year  round,  or — which  is  still  more  usual — from  September  to 
April.  No  part  of  the  kingdom  can  claim  it  as  a  special  proof  of  its  adhe- 
rence to  a  primitive  simplicity.  Geographically  considered,  its  survivals  are  by 
no  means  uninstructive.  It  tolls  from  the  Isle  of  Wight  in  the  south,  through 
Kent  and  Surrey,  Middlesex,  Suffolk,  Norfolk,  Lincoln,  York,  Durham,  and 
Northumberland,  and  even  across  the  border,  in  the  Scotch  lowlands.  And 
it  can  be  traced  again  through  Cumberland  and  Lancashire,  Cheshire,  Derby- 
shire, Stafford,  Notts,  Leicestershire,  Worcestershire,  Shropshire,  Hertford- 
shire, Monmouthshire,  down  to  Devon  and  Dorset.  It  is,  in  short,  perpetu-  • 
ated  all  over  the  kingdom.  Here  and  there  it  has  become  identified  with 
local  customs.  At  Newcastle,  until  it  was  discontinued,  it  was  the  signal  for 
shutting  the  shops.  At  Durham,  again  (where  it  is  tolled  at  nine  o'clock),  it 
heralds  the  closing  of  the  college  gates  ;  while  in  many  Cheshire  and  York- 
shire villages  it  has  for  centuries  warned  farmers  to  lock  up  their  cattle  for  the 
night.  The  almost  universal  hour  at  which  it  is  tolled  is  eight  o'clock  in  the 
evening,  although  here  and  there  it  is  rung  instead  at  seven  and  nine  o'clock. 
In  some  places,  too,  there  is  a  morning  curfew,  a  curious  variation.  At  Stow, 
for  instance,  it  is,  or  was  lately,  rung  as  early  as  four  A.M.,  and  at  Tamworth 
at  the  more  reasonable  hour  of  six.  At  Waltham  in  the  Wolds,  again,  a 
grateful  farmer,  who  was  lost  in  the  snow  and  found  his  way  home  by  its 
sound,  left  a  field  to  endow  a  five-o'clock  curfew  forever. 

The  facts,  indeed,  plainlv  show  that  the  custom  has  kept  its  hold  on  the 
popular  sympathies  through  all  the  ages.  The  Pilgrims  and  the  Puritans 
brought  it  over  with  them  to  New  Englancf  where  the  curfew  bell  is  still  rung 
in  many  towns  and  villages.  In  the  "Bells  of  Lynn,"  Longfellow  appeals  to 
the  "curfew  of  the  setting  sun"  as  heard  at  Nahant ;  and  other  allusions  are 
freely  found  in  our  native  poets. 

Cuspidor.  It  has  been  suggested  that  this  word  was  invented  by  the 
manufacturers  of  a  new  style  of  spittoon  who  are  credited  with  a  classic  wit. 
The  Latin  verb  ciispido  means  to  sharpen,  to  point,  and  seems  to  give  no  clue 
to  cuspidor.  But  there  is  a  noun  cuspis  from  the  same  root,  which  means  a 
sharp-pointed  weapon,  a  lance,  a  spit ;  and  here  we  find  the  punning  origin 
of  the  word  :  thus,  cttspis,  a  spit ;  cuspido,  the  thing  which  points  the  spit. 
This  seems  rather  far-fetched,  the  more  so  that  there  is  a  Portuguese  verb 
aispir,  to  spit,  and  the  nouns  from  the  same  root  are  cuspo,  spittle  ;  cuspidor,  a 
spitter,  a  spitting  man  ;  and  cuspideira,  spitting-box.  The  Spanish  equivalent 
is  esaipidor,  a  spitting  man.  But  both  the  Spanish  and  the  Portuguese  words 
must  be  referred  to  the  Latin  conspiiere,  to  spit. 

Cut  one's  stick,  to  make  off,  to  leave,  to  escape.  This  common  ex- 
pression is  thought  to  refer  to  the  cutting  of  a  staff  from  a  hedge  or  tree  on 
the  occasion  of  a  journev.  A  Latin  equivalent  is  the  "  Collige  sarcinulas" 
("Collect  the  bags")  of  Juvenal,  while  a  curious  though  accidental  parallel 
occurs  in  Zechariah  xi.  lo,  where  the  cutting  of  a  stick  is  described  as  the 
symbol  of  breaking  a  friendly  covenant.  The  phrase  is  sometimes  humor- 
ously elaborated  into  "  to  amputate  one's  mahogany." 

"  Cut  down  the  bloody  horde  !" 

Cried  Meagher  of  the  sword, 
"  This  conduct  would  disgrace  any  blackamore  !" 

But  the  best  use  Tommy  made 

Of  his  famous  battle-blade 
Was  to  cut  his  own  stick  from  the  Shannon  shore. 

Thackeray  :  Battle  of  Limerick. 

In  the  days  of  American  slavery  the  advertisements  of  runaway  negroes 
were  embellished  with  pictures  of  the  fugitives  carrying  a  stick  and  a  bundle 
over  their  shoulders. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


D. 

D,  the  fourth  letter  of  the  English,  as  of  the  Latin,  Greek,  and  Phoenician 
alphabets, — the  delta  of  the  Greeks,  the  daleth,  "  door,"  of  the  Phcenicians.  As 
the  initial  of  the  Latin  denarius,  the  original  name  also  of  the  English  penny,  d. 
(lower-case  and  almost  invariabfy  in  italic)  is  used  as  the  sign  for  penny  or 
pence  ;  i.e.,  £  s.  d.,  =  pounds,  shillings,  and  pence.  The  triangular  shape 
of  the  Greek  capital  A  gained  the  name  of  delta  for  many  triangular  spaces 
or  surfaces,  and  especially  for  triangular  islands  or  alluvial  tracts  enclosed 
within  the  diverging  branches  of  a  river,  as  the  Delta  of  the  Nile,  etc. 

Dagger  Scene  in  the  House  of  Commons.  During  the  French  Revo- 
lution, Burke  created  a  dire  sensation  by  suddenly  throwing  a  dagger  upon 
the  floor  of  the  House  of  Commons,  vociferating,  "  There  is  French  frater- 
nity for  you  !  Such  is  the  poniard  which  French  Jacobins  would  plunge  in 
the  heart  of  our  sovereign."  This  theatrical  exhibition  startled  the  House 
for  a  moment,  then  raised  a  titter,  which  expanded  into  a  roar  when  Sheridan 
said,  "The  gentleman  has  brought  his  knife  with  him;  but  Where's  the  fork?''' 
Twiss,  in  his  "  Life  of  Lord  Eldon,"  says  that  "  The  dagger  had  been  sent  to 
a  manufacturer  at  Birmingham  as  a  pattern,  with  an  order  to  make  a  large 
quantity  like  it.  At  that  time  th%  order  seemed  so  suspicious  that,  instead 
of  executing  it,  he  came  to  London  and  called  on  my  father  at  the  Secretary 
of  State's  office  to  inform  him  of  it  and  ask  his  advice,  and  he  left  the  pat- 
tern with  him.  Just  after,  Mr.  Burke  called,  on  his  way  to  the  House  of 
Commons,  and  upon  my  father  mentioning  the  subject  to  him,  he  borrowed 
the  dagger  to  show  in  the  House.  They  walked  down  to  the  House  together, 
and  when  Mr.  Burke  had  made  his  speech,  my  father  took  the  dagger  again 
and  kept  it  as  a  curiosity." 

Dago.  This  word,  now  generally  applied  to  Italians  all  over  the  United 
States,  originated  in  Louisiana,  where  it  at  first  denoted  people  of  Spanish 
birth  or  parentage,  but  was  gradually  extended  so  as  to  apply  to  Italians  and 
Portuguese  also.  It  is  undoubtedly  a  corruption  of  Diego  (James),  a  common 
name  among  Spaniards,  San  Diego  being  their  patron  saint. 

Daisy,  in  American  slang,  a  humorous  and  sometimes  a  sarcastic  term  of 
endearment  or  admiration.  It  may  have  had  its  origin  in  Dickens's  "David 
Copperfield,"  where  Steerforth  says  to  young  Copperfield,  "  David,  my  daisy, 
you  are  so  innocent  of  the  world.  Let  me  call  you  my  daisy,  as  it  is  so 
refreshing  to  find  one  in  these  corrupt  days  so  innocent  and  unsophisticated. 
My  dear  Copperfield,  the  daisies  of  the  field  are  not  fresher  than  you." 

Damn  with  faint  praise.  This  expressive  phrase  occurs  in  Pope's 
famous  characterization  of  Addison  as  Atticus  : 

Should  such  a  man,  too  fond  to  rule  alone. 
Bear,  like  the  Turk,  no  brother  near  the  throne, 
******* 
Damn  with  faint  praise,  assent  with  civil  leer. 
And  without  sneering,  teach  the  rest  to  sneer, 
Willing  to  wound,  and  yet  afraid  to  strike. 
Just  hint  a  fault,  and  hesitate  dislike. 

Prologue  to  the  Satires. 

There  is  a  faint  anticipation  in  Wycherley's  "Double  Dealer,"  "and  libels 
everybody  with  dull  praise."     But  a  closer  parallel  is  in  Phineas  Fletcher,— 


212  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

When  needs  he  must,  yet  faintly  then  he  praises ; 

Somewhat  the  deed,  much  more  the  means  he  raises  : 

So  marreth  what  he  makes,  and  praising  most,  dispraises. 

The  Purple  Island,  Canto  vii. 

Damnation,  Distilled.  Robert  Hall,  according  to  his  biographer,  Greg- 
ory,  being  once  asked  for  a  glass  of  brandy  and  water,  indignantly  replied, 
"  Call  things  by  their  right  names  .'  Glass  of  brandy  and  water  !  That  is  the 
current,  but  not  the  appropriate  name  ;  ask  for  a  glass  of  liquid  fire  and  dis- 
tilled damnation  !"  Was  he  thinking  of  Pythagoras,  of  whom  Diogenes  Laer- 
tius  said,  "He  calls  drunkenness  an  expression  identical  with  ruin"?  Or  of 
Cyril  Tourneur  in  "  The  Revenger's  Tragedy"  ^ 

A  drunkard  clasp  his  teeth  and  not  undo  'em 
To  suffer  wet  damnation  to  run  through  'em. 

Damned  to  everlasting  fame.  In  Pope's  "Essay  on  Man,"  Epistle 
iv.,  are  the  much-quoted  lines, — 

If  parts  allure  thee,  think  how  Bacon  shined 
The  wisest,  brightest,  meanest  of  mankind; 
Or,  ravished  with  the  whistling  of  a  name, 
See  Cromwell,  damned  to  everlasting  fame  ! 

The  third  line  is  taken  from  Cowper's  rendition  of  a  line  in  Virgil, 
Charmed  with  the  foolish  whistling  of  a  name. 

Georgics,  Book  ii. 

Pope  has  again  employed  the  epigrammatical  paradox  of  the  fourth  line  in 
his  "  Dunciad,"  Book  iii.  : 

All  crowd  who  foremost  may  be  damned  to  fame. 
It  may  also  be  found  in  Savage  : 

May  see  thee  now,  though  late,  redeem  thy  name. 
And  glorify  what  else  is  damned  to  fame. 

Cliaracter  of  Foster . 

Dance.  To  dance  attendance,  to  wait  upon  another,  to  be  at  his  beck 
and  call,  to  be  servile  or  unduly  obsequious.  The  reference  is  to  the  ancient 
custom  at  marriages  when  the  bride  was  forced  to  dance  with  all  who  asked 
her :  "  Then  must  the  poore  bryde  kepe  foote  with  all  dauncers,  and  refuse 
none,  how  scabbed,  foule,  droncken,  rude,  and  shameless  soever  he  be" 
(Christen  :  State  of  Matrimony,  1543). 

I  had  thought 
They  had  parted  so  much  honesty  among  them 
(At  least,  good  manners)  as  not  thus  to  suffer 
A' man  of  his  place,  and  so  near  our  favor. 
To  dance  attendance  on  their  lordship's  pleasures. 

Henry  VIII. ,  Act  v..  So.  2. 

"To  lead  one  a  pretty  dance,"  said  especially  of  a  giddy  or  uncongenial 
wife,  to  make  one  enjoy  \vhat  is  known  as  "a  parrot  and  monkey  time," — the 
allusion  being  to  the  complicated  dances  of  the  past,  when  all  followed  the 
leader  through  a  maze  of  evolutions.  To  make  another  dance  to  one's  music 
or  at  one's  bidding,  meaning  to  have  him  under  your  thumb,  is  a  reference  to 
the  myths  and  legends  of  magic  rods  or  musical  instruments,  which  set  all  the 
bystanders  or  listeners  to  dancing  whether  they  wished  it  or  not.  It  is  said 
that  shortly  before  Bismarck's  retirement,  the  Emperor  William  II.  found  him 
in  the  royal  nursery  fiddling  with  great  glee,  while  the  little  princes  and  prin- 
cesses were  dancing.  "That  is  the  fourth  generation  of  Hohenzollerns  whom 
you  have  made  dance  to  your  music,"  was  William's  dry  comment. 

Dance  of  Torches,  a  dance  performed  at  the  royal  palace  in  Berlin  on  all 
weddings  in  the  royal  family  of  Prussia,  the  torch-bearers  being  the  ministers 
of  state  and  the  highest  court  charges.     Here  is  a  description  of  the  dance  as 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  213 

performed  at  the  marriage  festivities  of  the  Prince  of  Prussia  with  the  Prin- 
cess of  Bavaria,  December  3,  1821.  The  musicians  having  first  been  placed  on 
the  stage  of  solid  silver,  in  the  White  Hall,  the  newly-married  pair,  preceded  by 
six  lieutenant-generals  and  six  ministers  of  state,  two  by  two,  all  holdiug  white 
torches,  made  the  tour  of  the  hall,  saluting  the  company  as  they  went.  The 
princess  then  gave  her  hand  to  the  king  or  emperor,  the  prince  to  the  queen, 
the  king  to  the  queen-mother,  and  the  reigning  queen  to  Prince  Henry,  and 
the  princes  and  princesses  following,  led  up  the  dance  in  like  professional 
manner.  Then  followed  another  curious  ceremony,  the  distribution  among 
the  guests  of  the  bride's  garter.  Of  course  the  real  garter  is  usually  not 
sufficient  to  give  more  than  a  shred  of  a  fibre  of  the  material  composing 
the  garter,  and  instead  of  it,  pieces  of  silk,  three  inches  long,  woven  in  the 
colors  of  the  bride's  hose,  stamped  with  her  monogram  and  a  crown  and 
fringed  with  silver,  are  distributed. 

Dancing  days  are  over.  A  popular  locution,  meaning  that  youth  and  its 
follies  and  pleasures  are  over.  It  occurs  in  Beaumont  and  Fletcher  and  in 
Shakespeare : 

My  dancing  days  are  done. 

The  Scornful  Lady,  Act  v.,  Sc.  3. 
For  you  and  I  are  past  our  dancing  days. 

Romeo  and  Juliet,  Act.  i.,  Sc.  5. 

Dare  not  do  an  ill  thing.  Plutarch,  in  his  essay  "  Of  Bashfulness,"  tells 
us  that  Xenophanes  said,  "  I  confess  myself  the  greatest  coward  in  the  world, 
for  I  dare  not  do  an  ill  thing."  Was  this  in  Macbeth's  mind  when  he  said 
(Act  i.,  Sc.  7),— 

I  dare  do  all  that  may  become  a  man  ; 
Who  dares  do  more  is  none  ? 

and  again,  in  Act  iii.,  Sc.  4,  addressing  Banquo's  Ghost, — 
What  man  dare,  I  dare  ; 
Approach  thou  like  the  rugged  Russian  bear. 
The  armed  rhinoceros,  or  the  Hyrcan  tiger, 
Take  any  shape  but  that,  and  my  firm  nerves 
Shall  never  tremble. 

Pope  has  a  fine  line  in  his  translation  of  the  "  Odyssey"  (Bk.  ii.,  1.  305), — 
And  what  he  greatly  thought,  he  nobly  dared  ; 
which  Lowell  has  imitated  : 

And  what  they  dare  to  dream  of,  dare  to  do. 

Conimetiioration  Ode. 

Dare,  To  take  a.  A  colloquial  expression,  meaning  to  receive  a  challenge 
without  accepting  it,  still  surviving  in  the  Middle  States,  and  locally  in  other 
parts  of  the  United  States  and  in  England.  It  has  good  literary  authority  at 
its  back,  as  the  verb  to  dare,  or  to  give  the  dare,  in  the  sense  of  to  challenge, 
to  provoke  to  action,  especially  by  implying  a  lack  of  courage  to  accept  a  chal- 
lenge, is  found  in  Shakespeare  and  his  contemporaries. 

Sextus  Pompeius 
Hath  given  the  dare  to  Caesar. 

Shakespeare  :  Anthony  and  Cleopatra,  Act  i.,  Sc.  2. 
I  whipt  him  for  robbing  an  orchard  once  when  he  was  but  a  child, — 
"  The  farmer  dared  me  to  do  it,"  he  said  ;  he  was  always  so  wild. 

Tennyson  :  Rizpah. 

It  was  not  consonant  with  the  honor  of  such  a  man  as  Bob  to  take  a  dare ;  so  against  first 
one  and  then  another  aspiring  hero  he  had  fought,  until  at  length  there  was  none  that  ven- 
tured any  more  to  "  give  a  dare"  to  the  victor  of  so  many  battles.— Edward  Eggleston  : 
The  Graysons,  ch.  x. 


214.  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Dark  Ages,  a  vague  and  misleading  title  applied  to  those  ages  of  which 
Coleridge  happily  says  that  we  are  in  the  dark.  Though  the  degree  of  intelli- 
gence was  different  at  different  points  of  the  Middle  Ages,  no  one  who  has 
studied  that  epoch  with  any  attention  could  assert  that  there  was  throughout 
"Western  "Europe  a  dead  level  either  of  intellectual  life  or  "of  the  absence  of 
intellectual  life  in  any  given  century. 

He  [Taylor]  still  calls  the  Middle  Ages,  during  which  nearly  all  the  inventions  and  social 
institutions  whereby  we  yet  live  as  civilized  men  were  originated  or  perfected,  a  Millennium  of 
Darkness  on  the  faith  of  certain  long  past  Pedants,  who  reckoned  everything  barren  because 
Chrysoloras  had  not  yet  come,  and  no  Greek  roots  grew  there.— Carlyle,  on  Taylor's  Survey 
of  German  Poetry,  originally  published  in  1831. 

Dark  horse,  an  unforeseen  or  compromise  candidate  in  a  political  contest. 
The  term  is  borrowed  from  the  turf.  There  is  a  custom  among  racing-men 
of  training  a  horse  in  secret,  or  "keeping  him  dark,"  so  that  his  powers  may 
be  unknown  to  the  betting  world  until  the  very  day  of  the  race.  Hence 
jockeys  frequently  say  that  "  the  dark  horse  will  win  the  race."  It  is  not  a 
far  cry  from  jockeydom  to  the  world  of  politics. 

The  first  favorite  was  never  heard  of ;  the  second  favorite  was  never  seen  after  the  dis- 
tance post,  all  the  ten-to-ones  were  in  the  rear,  and  a  dark  horse  which  had  never  been 
thought  of  rushed  past  the  grand-stand  in  sweeping  triumph.— Disraeli  :   The  Young  Duke. 

Darkest  hour  is  just  before  dawn,  an  old  English  proverb  which  ex- 
presses more  poetically  the  homelier  adages,  "  When  things  are  at  the  worst 
they  soonest  mend,"  "  When  bale  is  highest,  boot  is  nighest,"  "The  longest 
day  will  have  an  end,"  "After  a  storm  comes  a  calm,"  and  finds  an  equiva- 
lent in  other  languages,  as  in  French,  "  By  dint  of  going  wrong  all  will  come 
right ;"  in  Italian,  "  111  is  the  eve  of  well ;"  in  Persian,  "  It  is  at  the  narrowest 
part  of  the  defile  that  the  valley  begins  to  open,"  and  in  Hebrew,  "  When  the 
tale  of  bricks  is  doubled,  Moses  comes."  That  the  nights,  as  a  rule,  are 
darkest  just  before  dawn  is  doubtless  true,  for  the  moon  has  then  reached  far 
on  to  the  western  horizon,  while  the  sun  is  still  below  the  eastern  horizon. 

Cowper  says, — 

Beware  of  desperate  steps  ;  the  darkest  day. 
Live  till  to-morrow,  will  have  past  away. 

The  Needless  Alarm. 
And  Shakespeare, — 

Come  what  come  may, 
Time  and  the  hour  runs  through  the  roughest  day. 

Miicbeth,  Act  i..  So.  3. 

Similar  testimonies  to  the  curative  power  of  time  abound  in  literature. 

Darkness  visible.  Milton  successfully  uses  a  daring  phrase  in  "  Para- 
dise Lost"  (Bk.  i.,  1.  62),— 

Yet  from  those  flames 
No  light,  but  rather  darkness  visible. 

This  has  been  often  imitated,  notably  by  Browning  : 

The  evil  is  null,  is  nought,  is  silence  implying  sound. 
Theophile  de  Viau,  a  contemporary  of  Milton,  has  the  line, — 

On  n'oit  que  le  silence,  on  ne  voit  rien  que  I'ombre, 
("One  hears  nothing  but  silence,  one  sees  nothing  but  darkness"),  which  is  so 
close  a  parallel  to  the  Miltonic  phrase  that  it  suggests  something  more  than 
coincidence. 

Dash  it !    This  expletive,  which  looks  as  if  it  might  be  a  fellow-euphemism 

with  blank  it,  or  a  substitute  for it,  literally  means  Confound  it !  from  the 

now  obsolescent  sense  of  to  dash  =  to  confound,  to  abash.     The  interjection 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


215 


comes  to  us  immediately  through  the  French  deshait,  dehait,  dehet,  affliction, 
misfortune,  and  in  old  English  appears  in  the  form  datheit  or  dahet : 

Dahet  habbe  that  ilke  best 
That  fuleth  his  own  nest. 

riu   Oxvl  and  the  Nightingale. 
The  verb  was  still  used  in  this  sense  in  the  time  of  Pope  : 
Dash  the  proud  gamester  in  his  gilded  car. 

Imitations  0/ Horace,  II.,  i.  107. 

Dauphin  of  France.  This  title  was  given  to  the  eldest  son  of  the  King 
of  France  under  the  Valois  and  Bourbon  dynasties.  The  Counts  of  Alboii 
and  Grenoble  assumed  the  title  of  Counts  of  Vienne,  of  whom  Guy  VIII.  is 
said  to  have  been  surnamed  Le  Dauphin,  because  he  wore  a  dolphin  as  an 
emblem  on  his  helmet  or  shield.  The  surname  remained  to  his  descendants 
who  were  styled  Dauphins,  and  the  country  which  they  governed  was  called 
Dauphine.  Humbert  II.  de  la  Tour  de  Pisa,  the  last  of  the  Dauphin  dynasty, 
gave  UD  his  sovereignty  by  treaty  to  King  Philippe  de  Valois  in  1349.  From 
that  time  the  eldest  son  of  the  King  of  France  was  styled  Dauphin.  Since 
the  dethronement  of  the  elder  branch  of  the  Bourbons  in  1830  the  title  of 
Dauphin  has  been  disused.  The  last  who  bore  it  was  the  Duke  of  Angou- 
leme,  son  of  Charles  X. 

Day  after  the  fair,  an  English  proverbial  expression  (recorded  by  Hey- 
wood,  "  Proverbs,"  Part  I.,  ch.  viii.),  meaning  too  late.  Collins,  the  poet,  was 
once  in  love,  and  as  the  lady  was  a  day  older  than  himself,  he  used  to  say, 
jestingly,  that  "  he  came  into  the  world  a  day  after  the  fair." 

Day.  Better  the  day  better  the  deed,  an  English  proverb,  finding  its 
analogue  in  the  French  "  Bon  jour,  bon  ceuvre,"  or  less  concisely,  "  Aux  bons 
jours  les  bonnes  oeuvres."  The  evident  meaning  is  that  the  goodness  of  a 
good  deed  is  enhanced  by  its  being  done  on  a  good  day, — i.e.,  a  Sunday  or 
holy  day.  But  it  is  often  jestingly  perverted  to  mean  that  a  bad  or  question- 
able action  is  sanctified  by  being  done  on  a  Sunday.  Chief  Justice  Holt  made 
use  of  the  expression  in  Sir  William  Moore's  case  (2  Raymond's  Reports,  1028) 
on  application  for  discharge  out  of  custody  of  a  prisoner  taken  on  a  Sunday : 
"The  judges  of  the  Common  Pleas  are  of  another  opinion,  but  I  cannot 
satisfy  myself  with  their  reasons.  I  think  the  better  day  the  better  deed." 
Matthew  Henry,  a  pronounced  Sabbatarian,  paraphrases  the  proverb,  "The 
better  day,  the  worse  deed,"  in  his  Commentaries  :  Genesis  iii. 

Day,  I  have  lost  a  (L.,  "  Diem  perdidi  !").  This  was  the  exclamation  of 
the  Emperor  Titus  (known  to  his  admirers  as  the  "Delight  of  Mankind"), 
which,  Suetonius  tells  us,  was  made  one  night  at  supper,  on  reflecting  that  he 
had  done  nothing  for  any  one  that  day. 

"  I've  lost  a  day," — the  prince  who  nobly  cried. 
Had  been  an  emperor  without  his  crown. 

Young  :  Night  Thoughts,  II.,  1.  99. 

In  the  preface  to  Nichol's  work  on  "  Autographs,"  among  other  albums 
noticed  by  him  as  being  in  the  British  Museum  is  that  of  David  Krieg,  with 
Jacob  Bobart's  autograph  and  the  verses, — 

Virtus  sua  gloria. 
"  Think  that  day  lost  whose  descending  sun 
Views  from  thy  hand  no  noble  action  done." 

Bobart  died  about  1726.  He  was  a  son  of  the  celebrated  botanist  of  that 
name.  But  the  quotation-marks  in  which  the  lines  are  enclosed  indicate  that 
they  were  copied  and  not  original.     In  Staniford's  "  Art  of  Reading,"  third 


2l6  .  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

edition,  p.  27  (Boston,  1803),  the  lines  occur  in  the  more  familiar  and  more 
rhythmical  form, — 

Count  that  day  lost  whose  low-descending  sun 
Views  from  thy  hand  no  worthy  action  done. 

The  precept  of  Pliny,  "Nulla  dies  sine  linea"  ("No  day  without  a  line"), 
applies  the  same  sentiment  to  literary  workers.  Chanifort  says,  "The  most 
completely  lost  of  all  days  is  that  on  which  one  has  not  laughed." 

Dead  man,  or  Dead  marine,  a  colloquialism  for  an  empty  bottle,  pos- 
sibly in  humorous  recognition  of  the  fact  that  the  spirits  have  departed.  But 
the  French  also  have  the  same  phrase,  tin  co7-ps  mort,  a  dead  body,  for  which 
there  can  be  no  punning  pretext.  A  famous  old  drinking-song  has  this 
chorus : 

And  he  who  will  this  toast  deny, 

Down  among  the  dead  men  let  him  lie. 

William  IV.,  when  Duke  of  Clarence,  once  inadvertently  used  the  phrase, 
"  Remove  the  .dead  marines,"  in  the  presence  of  an  officer  of  that  corps. 
"What  does  your  Highness  mean  by  marine?"  was  the  slightly  indignant 
query.  "  I  mean  by  marine,"  replied  the  prince,  with  ready  tact  and  courtesy, 
"a  good  fellow  who  has  done  his  duty  and  is  prepared  to  do  it  again." 

Dead  men's  shoes,  a  common  locution  for  property  which  can  only  be 
claimed  after  the  present  owner's  death.  Waiting  for  dead  men's  shoes  means 
looking  forward  for  an  inheritance. 

And  'tis  a  general  thoug:ht  that  most  men  use. 
But  yet  'tis  tedious  waiting  dead  men's  shoes. 

Phineas  Fletcher:  Poems. 

Dead-Sea    fruit,  a   common    metaphor    for    hollow    and    unsatisfactory 
pleasures.     The  reference  is  to  the  apple  of  Sodom,  the  familiar  name  of  a 
species  of  yellow  fruit  which  grows  on  the  borders   of  the   Dead  Sea.     It  is 
extremely  beautiful  to  the  eye,  but  bitter  to  the  taste  and  full   of  small  black 
grains,  not  unlike  ashes.     Hence  a  wide-spread,  though  erroneous,  belief  that 
nothing  can  flourish  in  the  neighborhood  of  the  Dead  Sea,  a  belief  at  least  as 
ancient  as  Tacitus :  "  Whatever  the  earth  produces,  whether  by  the  prolific 
vigor  of  nature  or  the  cultivation  of  man,  nothing  ripens  to  perfection.     The 
herbage  may  shoot  up  and  the  trees  may  put  forth  their  blossoms  ;  they  may 
even  attain  the  usual  appearance  of  maturity,  but,  with  this  florid  outside,  all 
within  turns  black  and  moulders  jnto  dust."  {History,  v.  7.) 
Greedily  they  plucked 
The  fruitage,  fair  to  sight,  like  that  which  grew 
Near  that  bituminous  lake  where  Sodom  flamed; 
This  more  delusive  not  the  touch,  but  taste 
Deceived  ;  they  fondty  thinking  to  allay 
Their  appetite  with  gust,  instead  of  fruit 
Chewed  bitter  ashes,  which  th'  offended  taste 
With  spattering  noise  rejected, 

Milton  :  Paradise  Lost. 
Like  to  the  apples  on  the  Dead-Sea  shore. 
All  ashes  to  the  taste. 

Byron  :   Childe  Harold,  iii.  34. 
Like  Dead-Sea  fruits  that  tempt  the  eye 
But  turn  to  ashes  on  the  lips. 

Moore  :  Lalla  Rookh  :    The  Fire-Worshippers. 

Dear  me!  a  colloquial  expression  of  mild  surprise  or  pity,  is  plausibly  de- 
rived from  the  Italian  Dio  niio!  My  God  !  or  from  the  less  obvious  French  Dieu 
me!  (aide,)  God  help  me  !  But  for  neither  etymon  is  there  any  external  evidence. 
The  negro  expression  which  spelled  phonetically  would  be  deah-me-suz  and 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  21 7 

is  frequently  prononunced  as  a  single  word  is  merely  the  darky  equivalent  for 
Dear  me,  sirs  ! 

Aunt  Chloe. — Yes,  Rastus,  it  were  a  sad  case  ;  one  o'  de  saddes'  dat  I  come  across.  De 
boy  was  jes'  runnin'  across  de  railroad  irack,  bringin'  home  a  watahmlUion  from  mahket. 
When  he  crossed  de  track  he  sot  down,  absent-minded  like,  to  plug  de  million  ter  see  if  it  were 
ripe,  an'  a  train  come  along  and  cut  off  both  his  legs. 

Uncle  Rastus. — Deah  me,  suz ;  ain't  dat  tarrible  ?  Did  you  heah  if  de  million  was 
ripe  ? — America. 

Death.  An  interesting  collection  might  be  made  of  the  euphemisms  which 
poets  and  philosophers  have  invented  to  cover  up  the  ugly  fact  of  death. 
"Jam  vixisse"  ("He  has  lived"),  said  Cicero.  And  another  favorite  Roman 
phrase  of  unknown  parentage  was  "  Abiit  ad  plures"  or  "ad  majores"  ("He 
has  gone  to  the  majority").  (See  Majority.)  "Not  lost,  but  gone  before," 
was  Seneca's  phrase,  which  has  been  transferred  literally  by  Matthew  Henry 
to  his  "  Commentaries :  Matthew  ii.,"  and  adopted  with  slight  change  by 
Samuel  Rogers  : 

Those  that  he  loved  so  long  and  sees  no  more. 
Loved  and  still  loves, — not  dead,  but  gone  before, — 
He  gathers  round  him. 

Human  Life. 

So  Thackeray  in  the  "  Roundabout  Papers  :" 

Those  who  are  gone,  you  have.  Those  who  departed  loving  you,  love  you  still ;  and  you 
love  them  always.  They  are  not  really  gone,  those  dear  hearts  and  true  :  they  are  only  gone 
into  the  next  room  ;  and  you  will  presently  get  up  and  follow  them,  and  yonder  door  will  close 
upon  you,  and  you  will  be  no  more  seen. 

So  Charles  Lamb  in  his  poem  of  "  Hester"  (stanza  7)  : 

Gone  before 
To  that  unknown  and  silent  shore. 
Nancy  Priest  Wakefield  has, — 

Over  the  river  they  beckon  to  me. 

Loved  ones  who've  gone  to  the  further  side. 

The  idea  of  a  river  is,  of  course,  a  survival  of  the  pagan  myth  of  the  river 
Styx,  which  divided  the  dead  from  the  living, — "  He  has  crossed  the  Styx" 
being  another  famous  classical  euphemism.  Bunyan  adapts  the  old  myth  to 
Christian  uses  when  he  makes  his  Pilgrim  cross  the  river.  Horace  calls 
death  the  supreme  journey,  "supremum  iter"  {Carmina,  II.,  xvii.) ;  and  the 
general  idea  of  journeying  hence  is  expressed  in  the  following  locutions  from 
various  sources,  sacred  and  profane  : 

To  depart.— /"/z///)*.  i.  23. 

To  go  hence  and  be  no  more. — Psalm  xxxix.  13. 

I  shall  go  the  way  whence  I  shall  not  return. — Job  xvi.  22. 

That  undiscovered  country  from  whose  bourn  no  traveller  returns. — Shakespeare  : 
Hamlet. 

Their  going  hence. — Shakespeare  :  King  Lear. 

lUic  unde  regant  redire  quenquam. — Catullus. 

"Slept  with  his  fathers"  occurs  thirty-five  times  in  the  Old  Testament. 
The  comparison  of  sleep  with  death  is,  in  fact,  a  universal  one  from  its  very 
obviousness.  "  To  fall  asleep,"  "  to  fall  on  sleep,"  is  frequently  met  with  in 
the  New  Testament.  "  Longa  quies  et  ferreus  somnus,"  says  Virgil.  Here 
are  a  handful  of  similar  examples  from  the  moderns  : 

Death  is  an  eternal  sleep. — Inscription  which  Joseph  Fotuhi  caused  to  be  placed  on  all  the 
Parisian  cemeteries. 

To  die,  to  sleep. — Shakespeare  :  Hamlet. 

After  life's  fitful  fever  he  sleeps  well. — Shakespeare  :  Macbeth. 

That  sweet  sleep  which  medicines  all  pain.— Shelley  :  Julian  and  Maddalo. 
K  19 


2l8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

And  here,  grouped  together,  are  a  few  miscellaneous  euphemisms : 

Put  off  this  tabernacle. — 2  Pet.  i.  14. 

Shuffled  off  this  mortal  coil. — Shakespeare:  Hamlet. 

Go  down  into  silence. — Psalm  cxv.  17. 

The  safe  port,  the  peaceful,  silent  shore. — SoAME  Jenyns. 

Into  the  silent  land. — J.  G.  von  Salis. 

Fleeth  as  a  shadow.— y(7<5  xiv.  2. 

Death  is  the  shadow  of  life. — Tennyson  :  Love  and  Death. 

Fugere  sub  umbras  [to  flee  under  the  shadows]. — Virgil. 

The  idea  of  the  equality  of  death,  it  may  here  be  interjected,  is  common 
property.     A  few  instances  will  suffice  : 

Death  makes  equal  the  high  or  low. — Heywood  :  Be  Merry,  Friends. 
As  men  we  are  all  equals  in  the  presence  of  death. — PuBLius  Syrus  :  Maxim  I. 
Death  calls  ye  to  the  crowd  of  common  men. — James  Shirley  :   Cupid  and  Death. 
The  paths  of  glory  lead  but  to  the  grave.— Gray  :  Elegy. 
Death  is  an  equal  doom 
To  good  and  bad,  the  common  In  of  rest. 

Spenser:  Faerie  Queene,  II.,  Canto  i.,  59. 

But  to  go  on  with  our  examples  : 

That  dark  inn,  the  grave.— ScoTT  :  Lord  of  the  Isles,  vi.  26. 

The  dark  house. — Macaulay  :  Essays. 

The  long  home. — Eccl.  xii.  5. 

Gathered  unto  his  people. — Gen.  xlix.  33. 

Gave  up  the  ghost. — -John  xix.  30. 

As  the  flower  of  the  grass  he  shall  pass  av/^y.^James  i.  10. 

The  way  of  all  the  earth. — Josh,  xxiii.  14. 

Popular  proverbs  of  this  sort  usually  have  a  grotesque  flippancy  about 
them, — e.g. : 

To  stretch  the  leg. 

To  kick  the  bucket. 

To  go  to  kingdom  come. 

To  hop  the  twig. 

To  pass  in  your  checks  (a  poker  term). 

It  would  seem  that  the  Homeric  phrase  fif)  n  itadrj,  which,  with  various 
inflections,  occurs  both  in  the  "  Iliad"  and  in  the  "  Odyssey,"  is  exactly  equiva- 
lent to  the  English  euphemism  "  if  anything  should  happen  to  him,"  used 
daily  by  people  who  have  no  idea  they  are  quoting  Homer. 

Marie  Twain,  in  "  Roughing  It,"  has  collected  a  number  of  Western  equiv- 
alents : 

"  You  see,  one  of  the  boys  has  gone  up  the  flume " 

"  Gone  where?" 
Jpl 

"  Thrown  up  the  sponge ' 

"  Yes  ;  kicked  the  bucket." 

"  Ah, — has  departed  to  that  mysterious  countrj'  from  whose  bourn  no  traveller  returns." 

"  Return  !     I  reckon  not.     Why,  pard,  he's  dead  !" 

"  Yes,  I  understand." 

******** 

"  It's  all  up,  you  know,  it's  all  up.     It  ain't  no  use.     They've  scooped  him." 

"  Scooped  him  ?" 

"  Yes, — death  has." 

Death,  Call  no  man  happy  until  his.  This  sentence  is  said  to  have 
been  uttered  by  Solon  to  Croesus,  King  of  Lydia  (Herodotus:  Clio,  32), 
which  Croesus  repeated  when  he  was  on  the  funeral  pyre  {87),  and  thereby 


J 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  219 

obtained  pardon  from  Cyrus.  It  is  quoted  at  the  end  of  "  CEdipus  Rex"  by 
Sophocles. 

Death,  One  of  the  new  terrors  of.  Arbuthnot  writing  to  Swift,  under 
date  January  13,  1733,  apropos  of  the  death  of  their  mutual  friend  Gay,  says, 
"  Curll  (who  is  one  of  the  new  terrors  of  death)  has  been  writing  letters  to 
everybody  for  memoirs  of  his  life."  Curll  was  in  the  habit  of  issuing  catch- 
penny "  Lives"  or  "  Remains"  on  tbe  decease  of  any  eminent  person.  The 
phrase  was  resurrected  or  hit  upon  independently  by  Sir  Charles  Wetherell  at 
a  banquet  given  by  the  Benchers  of  the  Inner  Temple  to  the  King  of  Holland. 
In  describing  the  guests,  he  said  of  Lord  Campbell,  author  of  "The  Lives  of 
the  Chancellors,"  "Then  there  is  our  noble  and  biographical  friend  who  has 
added  a  new  terror  to  death"  (so  quoted  in  Lord  St.  Leonard's  printed  cor- 
rections to  Campbell's  "Lives,"  1869).  Curiously  enough,  Campbell  (vol.  vii, 
p.  163)  ascribes  the  phrase  to  Brougham:  "Brougham  delivered  a  very  warm 
panegyric  upon  the  ex-chancellor,  and  expressed  a  hope  that  he  would  make 
a  good  end,  although  to  an  expiring  chancellor  death  was  now  armed  with  a 
new  terror."  Brougham  must  have  been  plagiarizing,  for  he  himself  ascribed 
the  motto  Wetherell.  A  more  complimentary  phrase  is  attributed  to  Erskine. 
"My  lord,"  said  Dr.  Parr  to  Erskine,  whose  conversation  had  delighted  him, 
"should  you  die  first,  I  mean  to  write  your  epitaph."  "Dr.  Parr,"  was  the 
reply,  "  it  is  a  temptation  to  commit  suicide." 

Death  or  Glory,  the  motto  of  an  English  regiment,  the  Seventeenth  Lan- 
cers. On  the  saddle-cloths  and  sabre-taches  of  its  officers  is  borne  the  pirat- 
ical symbol  of  a  skull  and  cross-bones,  with  the  words  "or  glory"  beneath  it. 
During  one  of  the  German  campaigns  of  the  Duke  of  Marlborough  this  regi- 
ment was  surprised  by  a  sudden  attack  of  French  cavalry.  It  was  early  morn- 
ing, and  the  men  were  engaged  in  grooming  their  horses.  There  was  no  time 
to  saddle  them.  Mounting  bareback  at  a  moment's  notice,  the  regiment 
charged  and  repulsed  the  enemy,  the  colonel  leading  the  onset  with  the  cry, 
"  Death  or  glory  !"  Then  it  was  they  assumed  the  motto  and  symbol.  The 
regiment  took  part  in  the  charge  of  the  Light  Brigade  at  Balaklava,  and  on 
their  colors  are  the  names  "  Alma,"  "  Balaklava,"  "  Inkerman,"  "  Sevastopol." 

Death,  There  is  no.  One  of  Longfellow's  most  popular  poems  is  "Resig- 
nation," whose  most  popular  stanza  runs  as  follows  : 

There  is  no  death  !     What  seems  so  is  transition ; 

This  life  of  mortal  breath 
Is  but  a  suburb  of  the  life  elysian 
Whose  portal  we  call  Death. 

The  last  line  is  a  reminiscence  of  the  Latin  phrase  "  Mors  janua  vitse" 
("  Life  is  the  gate  of  Death").  A  poem  persistently  attributed  to  Bulwer 
Lytton,  but  really  written  by  J.  L.  McCreery  and  first  published  in  Arthur's 
Home  Magazine  for  July,  1863,  begins  as  follows  : 

There  is  no  Death  !     The  stars  go  down 

To  rise  upon  some  fairer  shore  ; 
And  bright  in  heaven's  jewelled  crown 

They  shine  for  evermore. 

In  these  extracts  we  have  the  Christian  view  of  death  as  the  beginning  of 
immortality.  The  more  subtle  and  mystic  view  of  the  Oriental  dreamers  is 
faithfully  mirrored  in  Emerson's  "  Brahma  :" 

If  the  red  slayer  think  he  slays. 

Or  if  the  slain  think  he  is  slain. 
They  know  not  well  the  subtle  ways 

I  keep,  and  pass,  and  turn  again. 


220  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  cautious  and  tentative  outlook  of  pagan  philosophy  finds  expression  in  a 
fragment  of  Euripides  quoted  by  Diogenes  Laertius  : 

Who  knows  but  that  this  life  is  really  death, 

And  whether  death  is  not  what  we  call  life  ? 

That  was  a  very  comfortable  phase  of  mind  into  which  Thales,  one  of  the 
Seven  Wise  Men  of  Greece,  had  argued  himself.  He  held  that  there  was  no 
difference  between  life  and  death.  "  Why,  then,"  said  a  friend,  "  do  you  not 
die  V     "  Because  it  does  make  no  difference." 

Deaths,  A  thousand.  Young,  in  "  Night  Thoughts,"  Night  III.,  has  the 
lines, — 

Man  makes  a  death  which  nature  never  made  ; 
Then  on  the  point  of  his  own  fancy  falls. 
And  feels  a  thousand  deaths  in  fearing  one. 

Evidently  a  reminiscence  of  Shakespeare  : 

Cowards  die  many  times  before  their  death  ; 

The  valiant  never  taste  of  death  but  once. 
In  his  statistics  Young  may  also  have  dimly  remembered  Massinger : 

Death  hath  a  thousand  doors  to  let  out  life. 

A  Very  Woman,  Act  v.,  So.  4. 

Though  this  in  turn  is  imitated  from  the  more  appalling  statement, — 
Death  hath  ten  thousand  several  doors 
To  let  out  life. 

Webster  :  Duchess  of  Malfi. 

Beaumont  and  Fletcher  are  more  modest  even  than  Massinger : 
Death  hath  so  many  doors  to  let  out  life. 

Custom  0/ the  Country,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  2. 

Debt  to  Nature.  This  euphemism  for  death  is  very  common  on  the  tomb- 
stones of  the  early  part  of  this  century.  An  early  appearance  in  literature  is 
in  Francis  Quarles  : 

*  The  slender  debt  to  Nature's  quickly  paid. 

Discharged,  perchance,  with  greater  ease  than  made. 

Emblems,  Book  ii. 

Fuller  has  words  nearly  similar  in  his  sermon  "  Life  out  of  Death  :"  "  What 
is  thy  disease, — a  consumption  ?  indeed  a  certain  messenger  of  death  ;  but 
know,  that  of  all  the  bailiffs  sent  to  arrest  us  for  the  debt  of  nature,  none 
useth  his  prisoners  with  more  civility  and  courtesie."  Gay  caught  a  faint  echo 
of  the  sentiment,  and  annexed  it  to  Macheath's  song  before  the  noble  captain 
was  about  to  go  to  Tyburn  : 

The  charge  is  prepared,  the  lawyers  are  met, 
The  judges  all  ranged,  a  terrible  show  ! 

I  go  undismayed,  for  death  is  a  debt, — 
A  debt  on  demand, — so  take  what  I  owe ! 

Dedications.  The  practice  of  dedicating  books  is  obsolescent.  It  has 
now  little  meaning :  at  best  it  is  only  a  tribute  of  respect  or  affection  either  to 
a  private  friend  or  a  public  character.  In  its  origin  it  meant  far  more  than 
this.  When  readers  were  few,  writers  trusted  to  the  patronage  of  some  great 
person,  and  the  dedication  was  the  means  of  recommending  a  book  to  his 
protection,  or  of  expressing  that  gratitude  which  was  a  lively  sense  of  favors 
to  come.  Antoine  Furetiere,  the  French  lexicographer,  said  that  the  inventor 
of  dedications  must  certainly  have  been  a  beggar ;  and  Young  agrees  with 
him: 

All  other  trades  demand, — verse-makers  beg  ; 

A  dedication  is  a  wooden  leg. 

The  Universal  Passion,  Satire  4, 1.  191. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  iZt 

That  inventor's  name,  however,  is  lost  in  the  twilight  of  antiquity.  The  old 
Romans — Horace,  Virgil,  Cicero,  Lucretius — all  dedicated  their  works  to 
some  friend  or  patron.  He,  in  return,  was  expected  to  render  some  equivalent 
in  coin  or  kind.  The  practice  of  Augustus  (naturally  a  very  frequent  dedi- 
catee) was  sometimes  a  little  less  than  kind.  If  he  thought  the  verses  good, 
he  rewarded  the  writer  ;  if  not,  he  returned  the  compliment  made  him  with 
some  verses  of  his  own.  He  must  have  rated  his  poetical  powers  very  low  ! 
With  the  revival  of  learning  the  practice  of  dedications  was  revived.  But 
at  first  it  does  not  seem  that  any  interested  motives  underlay  them.  The 
dedications  of  the  great  Aldus,  for  example,  in  his  editiones  principes  of  the 
classics,  are  models  of  simplicity,  dignity,  and  self-respect.  Caxton's  are  more 
florid  and  eulogistic.  Thus,  he  addresses  the  Duchess  of  Somerset  as  "  right 
noble  puyssant  and  excellent  pryncesse  my  redoubted  lady  my  lady  Margarete 
duchesse  of  Somercete,  moder  unto  our  naturel  and  soverayn  lord  and  most 
crysten  Kynge  henry  ye  seuenth." 

But  those  were  the  days  when  royalty  and  nobility  commanded  adulation, 
which  was  given  and  received  with  a  simple  and  touching  faith  on  both  sides. 
Many  authors,  especially  in  Spain  and  in  Italy,  showed  that  they  were  not  in 
search  of  treasures,  this  side  of  heaven  at  least,  by  dedicating  their  books  to 
the  Almighty  or  some  special  member  of  the  Trinity,  or  to  the  Virgin  Mary 
or  a  patron  saint.  This  example  was  sparingly  imitated  in  England,  the  most 
notable  instance  being  that  of  James  I.,  who  dedicated  a  book  (his  answer  to 
Conrad  Vorstius's  treatise  on  the  nature  and  attributes  of  God)  to  our  Saviour 
in  the  following  terms  : 

To  the  Honour  of  our  Lord  and  Saviour  Jesus  Christ  the  Eternal  Sonne  of  the  Eternal 
Father  the  onely  0EAN©PnnO2,  Mediatour  and  Reconciler  of  Mankind,  In  signe  of 
Thankefulness,  His  most  humble  and  most  obliged  Servant,  James,  by  the  Grace  of  God, 
King  of  Create  Britaine,  France  and  Ireland,  Defender  of  the  Faith,  Doeth  dedicate  and 
consecrate  this  his  Declaration. 

There  is  an  odd  story  that  the  printer,  knowing  the  chronic  impecuniosity 
of  the  monarch,  refused  to  print  his  book  unless  he  first  got  his  money  down. 
He  had  been  less  cautious,  perhaps,  if  some  opulent  earthly  magnate  had  been 
chosen  as  the  patron. 

Gradually  the  advantages  to  be  gained  by  persistent  flattery  of  the  great 
and  the  wealthy  appealed  to  the  business  side  of  the  great  poetic  heart. 
Rich  and  titled  fools  were  pleased  to  earn  the  fame  of  a  Maecenas,  and  will- 
ingly paid  the  trumpeter  of  their  virtues,  though  rather  according  to  the  loud- 
ness of  his  notes  than  with  any  nice  critical  appreciation  as  to  whether  his 
instrument  were  gold  or  brass.  Not  always,  however.  For  when  Ariosto 
rang  a  blast  in  honor  of  Cardinal  Ippolite  of  Este  on  the  same  horn  which 
had  produced  the  golden  melodies  of  his  "  Orlando  Furioso,"  and  hastened 
to  lay  the  book  and" the  dedication  at  his  patron's  feet,  the  only  reward  he  got 
was  the  slighting  query,  "  Dove  diavolo,  Messer  Ludovico,  avete  pigliato  tante 
cogloniere?"  ("Where  in  the  devil,  Messer  Ludovico,  did  you  pick  up  so 
much  rubbish  ?")  Ariosto  had  his  revenge,  indeed.  The  cardinal's  query 
has  survived,  its  winged  words  have  borne  his  name  down  to  the  contempt  of 
posterity  as  a  mean  and  stingy  soul  who  had  no  relish  for  the  good,  the  true, 
and  the  beautiful.  Perhaps  he  saw  the  great  truth  which  Bishop  Hurd  after- 
wards emphasized  when  he  likened  authors  to  the  architect  of  the  tower  of 
Pharos,  who  inscribed  his  name  on  the  marble,  but  had  it  encrusted  over  with 
stucco,  and  on  that  stucco  placed  the  name  of  the  reigning  prince. 

Sometimes  patrons  became  active  seekers  for  dedicatory  taffy  in  lieu  of 
passive  recipients.  Erasmus,  in  his  "  Praise  of  Folly,"  is  not  unduly  severe 
upon  certain  "seemingly  great  and  wise  men,  who,  with  a  new-fashioned 
modesty,  employ  some  paltry  orator  or  scribbling  poet  to  flatter  them  with 

UNIVERSITY 


222  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

lies  and  shams,  and  yet  the  persons  thus  extolled  shall  bristle  up  and  pea- 
cock-like bespread  their  plumes,  while  the  impudent  parasite  magnifies  the 
poor  wretch  to  the  skies,  and  proposes  him  as  complete  pattern  of  all  virtues, 
from  each  of  which  he  is  yet  as  far  distant  as  heaven  itself  from  hell." 

Oldmixon,  complaining  of  the  same  thing,  notes  as  a  further  reason  for 
annoyance  that  this  practice  led  to  a  strange  choice  of  patrons,  without  regard 
to  their  character  or  capacity.  Thus,  "we  often  find  a  Discourse  of  Politicks 
addressed  to  a  Fox-hunter,  a  Treatise  of  Gardening  to  a  Citizen  of  London,  a 
piece  of  Divinity  to  a  General  of  the  Army,  a  Poem  to  a  Judge,  and  a  Play 
to  a  Stockjobber."  James  I.,  according  to  his  own  account  in  the  dedication 
of  his  "  Meditation  on  the  Lord's  Prayer,"  made  a  great  point  of  the  appro- 
priateness of  his  choice.  For  this  present  work  he  can  find  no  one  more  fit 
than  the  Duke  of  Buckingham  :  "  For  it  is  made  upon  a  very  short  and  plaine 
prayer,  and  therefore  the  fitter  for  a  courtier  :  For  courtiers,  for  the  most 
part,  are  thought  neither  to  have  list  nor  leesure  to  say  long  prayers,  liking 
best  coiirte  messe  and  long  disner.  But  to  confess  the  truth  now  in  earnest,  it 
is  the  fitter  for  you  that  it  is  both  short  and  plaine." 

So  Erasmus  ingeniously  found  something  apposite  in  dedicating  his 
"  Praise  of  Folly"  to  Sir  Thomas  More  :  "  How  !  what  maggot,  say  you,  put 
this  in  your  head.-'  Why,  the  first  hint,  sir,  was  your  own  surname  of  More, 
which  comes  as  near  the  literal  sound  of  the  word  [//ajpi'a]  as  you  yourself 
are  distant  from  the  signification  of  it,  and  that,  in  all  men's  judgments,  is 
vastly  wide." 

In  spite  of  protest  and  example,  however,  the  slavish  adulation  of  seven- 
teenth-century dedications,  especially  after  the  period  of  the  Restoration, 
cannot  be  looked  back  upon  without  shame  and  astonishment.  Even  so 
fine  a  gentleman  as  John  Evelyn,  dedicating  a  translation  of  Freart's  book  on 
architecture  to  Charles  II.  (1664),  indulges  in  a  stream  of  outrageous  rhap- 
sody, in  the  course  of  which  he  likens  the  Merry  Monarch  to  "  the  Divine 
Architect,"  informs  him  that  he  was  "designed  of  God  for  a  blessing  to 
this  nation,"  and  predicts  that  his  name  "  will  be  famous  to  posterity,  and 
when  those  materials  fail,  the  benefits  that  are  engraven  in  our  hearts  will 
outlast  those  of  marble." 

Then  there  is  John  Dryden,  who  has  been  rightly  taken  to  task  by  Samuel 
Johnson.  While  acknowledging  that  he  did  not  want  examples  among  his 
predecessors  or  companions  among  his  contemporaries,  the  sturdy  old  moralist 
insists  that  "in  the  meanness  and  servility  of  hyperbolical  adulation  I  know 
not  whether  since  the  days  in  which  the  Roman  emperors  were  deified  he  has 
ever  been  equalled,  except  by  Aphra  Behn  in  an  address  to  Eleanor  Gwyn." 

Here  is  the  concluding  portion  of  the  dedication  to  "  The  Indian  Emperor" 
addressed  to  Anne,  Duchess  of  Monmouth  : 

Your  Grace  has  not  only  a  long  time  of  youth  in  which  to  flourish,  but  you  have  likewise 
found  the  way  by  an  untainted  preservation  of  your  honour  to  make  that  perishable  good  more 
lasting  :  And  if  Beauty,  like  wines,  could  be  preserved  by  being  mixed  and  embodied  by  others 
of  their  own  natures,  then  your  Grace's  would  be  immortal,  since  no  part  of  Europe  can 


afford  a  parallel  to  your  noble  lord  in  masculine  beauty  and  in  goodliness  of  shape.  To  receive 
the  blessings  and  prayers  of  mankind  you  need  only  to  be  seen  together  :  We  are  ready  to 
conclude  that  you  are  a  pair  of  angels  sent  below  to  make  virtue  amiable  in  your  persons  or  to 
set  to  poets  when  they  would  pleasantly  instruct  the  age  by  drawing  goodness  in  the  most 
perfect  and  alluring  shape  of  natiure. 

And  here  is  a  portion  of  that  address  to  Nell  Gwyn  which  Mrs.  Aphra 
Behn  prefixed  to  her  "  Feign'd  Curtizans"  (1679),  and  which  Dr.  Johnson 
deemed  more  than  a  match  for  Dryden  at  his  worst : 


So  excellent  and  perfect  a  creature  as  yourself  differs  only  from  the  divine  powers  in  this : 
the  offerings  made  to  you  ought  to  be  worthy  of  you,  whilst  they  accept  the  will  alone.  .  .  . 
Who  can  doubt  the  power  of  that  illustrious  beauty,  the  charm  of  that  tongue,  and  the  great- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  223 

nesse  of  that  minde.  which  has  subdu'd  the  most  powerful  and  glorious  monarch  of  the  world  ; 
and  so  well  you  bear  the  himours  you  were  born  for,  with  a  greatness  so  unaffected,  an  affa- 
bility so  easie,  an  humour  so  soft,  so  far  from  pride  or  vanity,  that  the  most  envious  and  most 
disaffected  can  tinde  no  cause  or  reason  to  wish  you  less. 

It  was  ia  ridicule  of  this  and  similar  adulations  of  the  king's  mistress  that 

Wycherley  dedicated  his  "  Plain  Dealer"  to  one  Mother  B ,  a  famous  (or 

infamous)  woman  of  the  town. 

The  author  was  often  put  to  strange  shifts  if  he  quarrelled  with  his 
patron,  or,  especially,  if  that  patron  came  to  public  grief  while  the  work  was 
passing  through  the  press.  The  squally  times  of  the  Revolution  made  it  an 
especially  difficult  task  for  the  time-server  to  trim  his  sails.  Samuel  Pepys 
has  a  delightful  passage  in  his  Diary  where  he  pictures  himself  making  his 
way  with  all  haste  to  St.  Paul's  Church-yard,  "  to  cause  the  title  of  my  Eng- 
lish '  Mare  Clausum'  to  be  changed,  and  the  new  title,  dedicated  to  the  king, 
to  be  put  to  it,  because  I  am  ashamed  to  have  the  other  seen  dedicated  to 
the  Commonwealth."  Bishop  Walton  was  equally  astute,  but,  as  befitted  his 
exalted  rank  in  the  Church,  was  betrayed  into  no  unseemly  or  undignified 
haste.  His  Polyglot  Bible  had  been  dedicated  to  Cromwell.  When  Charles 
II.  ascended  the  throne,  the  praises  of  the  grateful  author  were  calmly  and 
quietly  transferred  to  the  ruling  sovereign. 

As  authors  grew  more  slavish,  they  exacted  a  higher  price  for  selling  them- 
selves into  bondage.  Whereas  literary  men  of  the  Elizabethan  era  had  been 
glad  to  get  two  pounds  for  a  dedication,  the  bookmen  of  the  Restoration 
expected  and  received  from  twenty  to  fifty  guineas,  and  the  dramatists  from 
five  to  twenty  guineas,  according  to  the  rank  and  liberality  of  the  patron. 
Nay,  cunning  plans  were  resorted  to  for  multiplying  patrons  and  fees  alike, 
by  affixing  a  different  dedication  to  every  division  of  the  work.  So  Thomson's 
"  Seasons"  has  a  dedication  for  each  Season.  A  strange  lack  of  business 
acumen,  to  divide  the  year  into  seasons  instead  of  months  or  days !  Almost 
one  might  suspect  that  he  lived  in  the  epoch  celebrated  by  Emerson : 

Or  ever  the  wild  Time  coined  itself 
Into  calendar  months  and  days. 

Young's  "  Night  Thoughts,"  again,  had  a  dedication  for  seven  out  of  the 
nine  Nights.  This  was  piling  it  on.  Nevertheless  it  was  aboveboard.  What 
shall  we  say  of  one  Thomas  Jordan,  who  prefixed  high-flown  dedications  to 
his  books  with  blanks  for  the  name,  the  blanks  being  separately  and  sur. 
reptitiously  filled  in  bv  a  hand-press,  so  that  there  was  a  special  dedicatee  for 
every  copy  and  multitudinous  fees  for  the  whole  edition  ?  Nay,  it  is  recorded 
that  Mr.  Jordan  found  an  avatar  in  very  recent  years, — that  a  decade  or  so 
ago  a  Berlin  sharper  dedicated  two  thousand  copies  of  an  historical  compila- 
tion to  as  many  different  tradesmen,  sent  each  his  special  copy,  and  had  no 
trouble  in  collecting  a  small  sum  from  each. 

Pope  has  the  credit  of  having  put  an  end  to  the  old  abject  dedication  and 
inaugurated  a  better  reign  ;  but  it  should  not  be  forgotten  that  Pope  had 
found  a  more  profitable  system  of  patronage,  by  getting  lordly  and  wealthy 
subscribers  for  his  books,  who  helped  him  to  build  up  his  Twickenham  House 
and  his  Grotto,  to  lay  out  his  Quincunx  and  plant  his  vines,— from  which 
palatial  retirement  he  ever  afterwards  sneered  at  literary  hacks  and  learned 
want.  Were  the  subscriptions  always  voluntary  ?  We  all  remember  Rogers  s 
joke  when  asked  if  he  were  reading  the  table  of  contents  of  a  volume  he  held 
in  his  hand  :  "  No  ;  the  table  of  discontents,"  showing  the  list  of  subscribers. 
Nevertheless,  the  independence  of  literature  begins  from  Pope's  time.  Otway 
had  formerly  boasted  that  he  was  the  first  to  make  an  epistle  dedicatory  to  his 
bookseller,— adding  that  it  was  just,  "for  he  paid  honestly  for  the  copy. 
Johnson  subsequently  gave  his  tribute  to  booksellers  as  "generous,  liberal 


224  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

men,"  and  Boswell,  in  an  oft-quoted  passage,  adds  that  "he  considered  them 
as  the  true  patrons  of  literature," — only  a  half-truth,  after  all,  for  they  can 
claim,  and  they  pretend  to  claim,  no  more  than  Otway's  bookseller, — "  to  pay 
honestly  for  the  copy."  The  financial  partner  in  an  enterprise  need  not  be 
made  ridiculous  by  the  title  of  patron. 

The  revolution  started  by  Pope  was  a  gradual  one.  Traces  of  the  old 
system  still  lingered  in  Sterne's  time,  to  add  point  to  the  dedicatory  jest  in 
his  "  Tristram  Shandy,"  where  the  accustomed  page  was  left  blank  but  for 
the  inscription  "To  be  let  or  sold  for  fifty  guineas."  Indeed,  so  recently  as 
1815  a  Perthshire  author,  to  a  book  that  passed  through  at  least  three  editions, 
prefixed  a  dedication  as  grovelling  and  abject  as  the  worst  example  in  the  very 
worst  periods  of  authorial  servility  ; 

To  the  Right  Honorable  the  Earl  of  Breadalbane.  May  it  please  your  lordship,  with  over- 
powering sentiments  of  the  most  profound  humihty  I  prostrate  myself  at  your  noble  feet, 
while  I  offer  to  your  lordship's  high  consideration  those  very  feeble  attempts  to  describe  the 
indescribable  and  ineffable  beauties  of  your  lordship's  delicious  estate  of  Edinample.  With 
tumid  emotions  of  heart-distending  pride,  and  with  fervescent  feelings  of  gratitude,  I  beg  leave 
to  acknowledge  the  honor  I  have  to  serve  so  noble  a  master,  and  the  many  advantages  which 
I,  in  common  with  your  lordship's  other  menials,  enjoy  from  the  exuberance  of  your  princely 
liberality.  That  your  lordship  may  long  shine  with  refulgent  brilliancy  in  the  exalted  station 
to  which  Providence  has  raised  you,  and  that  your  noble  family,  like  a  bright  constellation, 
may  diffuse  a  splendor  and  glory  through  the  high  sphere  of  their  attraction,  is  the  fervent 
prayer  of  your  lordship's  most  humble  and  most  devoted  s 


In  losing  their  grossness  dedications  have  lost  most  of  their  picturesque 
interest  It  is  not  often  that  a  modern  dedication  arrests  the  attention.  Yet 
a  few  exceptions  may  be  cited,  either  for  their  intrinsic  value  or  their  associa- 
tions. Byron's  "  Hours  of  Idleness"  was  inscribed  to  the  Earl  of  Carlisle 
from  "his  obliged  ward  and  affectionate  kinsman,  the  author."  This  is  the 
gentleman  who  in  the  first  edition  of  "  English  Bards  and  Scotch  Reviewers" 
is  thus  alluded  to : 

On  one  alone  Apollo  deigns  to  smile. 

And  crowns  a  new  Roscommon  in  Carlisle. 
But,  alas !  between  the  first  and  the  second  edition  the  affectionate  kinsmen 
had  fallen  out.     The  new  Roscommon  was  deposed  from  his  pedestal  and  put 
in  the  pillory : 

No  muse  will  cheer,  with  renovating  smile. 

The  paralytic  puling  of  Carlisle. 

The  inscription  of  "The  Corsair"  to  Thomas  Moore,  of  "The  Prophecy  of 
Dante"  to  the  Countess  of  Guiccioli,  and  of  "  Sardanapalus"  to  Goethe,  are 
especially  noteworthy  among  Byron's  dedications  for  gallantry  or  dignified 
courtesy.  But  the  seventeen  stanzas  dedicating  "Don  Juan"  to  Southey, 
stanzas  originally  suppressed,  but  now  restored  to  a  place  in  Byron's  works, 
are  thoroughly  discreditable  to  his  taste  and  his  judgment. 

Shelley's  poetical  dedication  of  "The  Revolt  of  Islam"  to  his  second  wife, 
Mary  Wollstonecraft  Shelley,  is  a  noble  bit  of  verse,  and  ranks  with  Brown- 
ing's dedication  of  his  "  Men  and  Women"  ("  One  Word  More"),  and  Tenny- 
son's inscription  to  the  Queen,  prefixed  to  his  "  Idylls,"  as  the  finest  efforts  of 
this  kind  in  the  language. 

Dickens  was  sometimes  very  happy,  as  in  the  dedication  of  "  Master 
Humphrey's  Clock"  to  the  poet  Rogers  : 

My  DEAR  Sir, — Let  me  have  nty  pleasures  of  memory  in  connection  with  this  book,  by 
dedicating  it  to  a  poet  whose  writings  all  the  world  knows  are  replete  with  generous  and  earnest 
feeling,  and  to  a  man  whose  daily  life  (as  all  the  world  does  not  know)  is  one  of  active  sympathy 
with  the  poor  and  humblest  of  his  kind. 

But  there  is  something  more  than  a  mere  well-turned  compliment  in  the 
few  lines  which  Sir  William  Napier  prefixes  to  his  "  History  of  the  Peninsular 
War  :" 


i 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  225 

To  Field-Marshal  the  Duke  of  Wellington.  This  history  I  dedicate  to  your  Grace 
because  I  have  served  long  enough  under  your  command  to  feel  why  the  soldiers  of  the  Tenth 
Legion  were  attached  to  Csesar. 

There  is  a  deep  pathos  in  Sir  William  Stirling  Maxwell's  dedication  of  the 
"  Annals  of  the  Artists  of  Spain  :"  "  These  pages,  which  I  had  hoped  to  dedi- 
cate to  my  father,  are  now  inscribed  in  affectionate  homage  to  his  memory." 

Equally  pathetic,  but  too  long  to  quote  entire,  is  J.  Stuart  Mill's  dedica- 
tion of  his  "  Liberty :"  "  To  the  beloved  and  deplored  memory  of  her  who  was 
the  inspirer  and  in  part  the  author  of  all  that  is  best  in  my  writings, — the 
friend  and  wife  whose  exalted  sense  of  truth  and  right  was  my  strongest  incite- 
ment, and  whose  approbation  was  my  chief  reward." 

Coventry  Patmore's  dedication  of  his  "  Angel  in  the  House"  is  the  best 
thing  in  the  book  : 

*  This  Poem 

is  inscribed 

to 

the  memory  of  Her 

By  whom  and  for  whom  I  became  a  poet. 

Thackeray  dedicated  his  "  Paris  Sketch-Book"  to  a  tailor  who  had  lent  him 
money,  and  "  Pendennis"  to  Dr.  John  Elliotson,  the  Ur.  Goodenough  of  the 
novel  itself,  who  during  its  composition  had  saved  the  author  from  a  serious 
sickness,  and  "  would  take  no  other  fee  but  thanks." 

A  notable  dedication  was  that  of  Landor's  "  Hellenics"  to  Pope  Pius  IX. 
in  1847,  inspired  by  the  liberal  and  progressive  attitude  of  that  sovereign 
during  the  first  years  of  his  reign.  But  Landor  in  succeeding  years  lost  his 
admiration  for  Pius. 

Deeds,  not  words,  a  phrase  found  in  literature  in  Fletcher's  "Lover's 
Progress,"  Act  iii.,  Sc.  4,  in  "  Hudibras,"  Part  i.,  Canto  I,  etc.      Shakespeare 

has, — 

'Tis  well  said  again, 
And  'tis  a  kind  of  good  deed  to  say  well  : 
And  yet  words  are  no  deeds. 

Henry  VIII.,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  2. 

Plutarch  credits  to  Democritus  the  saying,  "  Words  are  but  the  shadows  of 
actions"  {Of  the  Training  of  Children).  In  closing  a  sermon  on  "Good 
Works  vs.  Good  Words"  in  the  parish  church  of  St.  Andrews,  on  August  25, 
1872,  Dean  Stanley  quoted  the  following  lines,  explaining  that  it  was  doubtful 
if  they  were  written  by  one  of  the  earliest  deans  of  Westminster  or  by  one  of 
the  earliest  Scotch  Reformers  : 

Say  well  is  good,  but  do  well  is  better  ; 
Do  well  seems  the  spirit,  say  well  is  the  letter; 
Say  well  is  godly  and  helps  to  please, 
But  do  well  is  godly  and  gives  the  world  ease  ; 
Say  well  to  silence  sometimes  is  bound, 
But  do  well  is  free  on  every  ground  ; 
Say  well  has  friends,  some  here,  some  there, 
But  do  well  is  welcome  everywhere. 
By  say  well  man  to  God's  word  cleaves. 
But  for  lack  of  do  well  it  often  leaves. 
If  say  well  and  do  well  were  bound  in  one  frame. 
Then  all  were  done,  all  were  won,  and  gotten  were  gain- 
See,  also,  Actions  speak  louder  than  Words. 

Deliberates.  The  woman  that  deliberates  is  lost  This  line  occurs 
in  Addison's  "Cato,"  Act  iv.,  Sc.  i  : 

*  When  love  once  pleads  admission  to  our  heart 

(In  spite  of  all  the  virtue  we  can  boast). 
The  woman  that  deliberates  is  lost. 
(Dr.  Holmes  humorously  paraphrases  this,  "The  woman  who  calculates  is 


226  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

lost." — explaining  that  the  italicized  word  is  "a  vulgarism  of  language  which, 
I  grieve  to  say,  is  sometimes  heard  even  from  female  lips.")  Perhaps  Addison 
had  in  mind  the  French  proverb,  "Chateau  qui  park,  femme  qui  ecoute,  sont 
prets  a  se  rendre'"  ("  The  castle  that  parleys  and  the  woman  who  listens  are 
ready  to  surrender"). 

Another  change  on  the  same  idea  is  thus  rung  by  Lady  Mary  Wortley  Mon- 
tagu in  her  poem  "The  Lady's  Resolve,"  written  on  a  window-pane  soon 
after  her  marriage,  in  1713  : 

While  vain  coquettes  affect  to  be  pursued. 
And  think  they're  virtuous  if  not  grossly  lewd, 
Let  this  great  maxim  be  my  virtue's  guide, — 
In  part  she  is  to  blame  that  has  been  tried. 
He  comes  too  near  that  comes  to  be  denied. 

This,  however,  is  a  bald  plagiarism  from  Sir  Thomas  Overbury : 

Woman's  behavior  is  a  surer  bar 
Than  is  their  No !     That  fairly  doth  deny 
Without  denying.     Thereby  kept  they  are 
Safe  even  from  hope.     In  part  to  blame  is  she 
Which  hath  without  consent  been  only  tried. 
He  comes  too  near  that  comes  to  be  denied. 

A  Wife,  St.  36. 

The  line 

She  half  consents  who  silently  denies, 
which  occurs  in   Dryden  and   Mulgrave's  translation  of  Ovid's  "  Helen  to 
Paris,"  seems  also  to  be  a  reminiscence  of  Overbury. 

Delia  Cruscans,  or  Delia  Crusca  School,  the  sobriquet  given  to  a 
certain  school  of  English  poetasters  which,  during  the  poetical  interregnum 
at  the  end  of  the  eighteenth  century,  persuaded  the  world  for  a  brief  period 
that  it  had  a  divine  right  to  rule.  The  school  originated  in  1784  in  Florence. 
An  English  bachelor  of  thirty,  Robert  Merry  by  name,  whose  pretensions  to 
literature  had  secured  his  admission  into  the  Italian  Accademia  della  Crusca 
(Academy  of  the  Sieve),  started  a  sort  of  mutual  admiration  society  among 
the  English  residents  of  Florence.  They  styled  themselves  the  "  Oziosi" 
(colloquially,  the  Lazybones),  and  did  their  little  best  to  earn  the  title.  The 
leading  spirits,  besides  Merry  himself,  were  Mrs.  Piozzi,  who  had  been  driven 
from  England  by  the  impertinent  and  unmerited  obloquy  that  followed  her 
second  marriage,  and  Messrs.  William  Parsons  and  Bertie  Greathead,  one  a 
flirtatious  bachelor,  the  other  the  recently-wedded  husband  of  a  beautiful 
wife.  They  all  wrote  verses,  largely  consisting  of  an  interchange  of  compli- 
ments, and  kept  an  album  in  which  the  verses  were  ])reserved.  A  selection 
baptized  the  "Arno  Miscellany,"  and  printed  for  private  distribution,  was 
within  the  circle  of  that  privacy  received  so  rapturously  that  a  subsequent  col- 
lection called  "  The  Florence  Miscellany"  was  kindly  given  to  the  world  at 
large  in  1785.  Here  is  a  sample  from  a  poem  contributed  by  Mr.  Merry  as 
his  essay  in  a  friendly  competition  to  produce  something  "  that  should  excite 
horror  by  description  :" 

While  slow  he  trod  this  desolated  coast, 

From  the  cracked  ground  uprose  a  warning  ghost. 

Whose  figure,  all  confused,  was  dire  to  view. 

And  loose  his  mantle  flowed  of  shifting  hue  ; 

He  shed  a  lustre  round,  and  sadly  pressed 

What  seemed  his  hand  upon  what  seemed  his  breast. 

Then  raised  his  doleful  voice,  like  wolves  that  roar 

In  famished  troops  roimd  Orcas'  sleepy  shore, 

and  SO  on.  Such  as  it  was,  however,  the  book  proved  a  success  Readers 
shuddered,  laughed,  or  thrilled  as  they  were  bidden,  the  leading  magazines 
copied  the  gems  of  the  collection,  the  eyes  of  literary  England  were  turned 
upon  Florence.     A  year  or  two  later  the  society  broke  up,  and  its  members 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  227 

returned  to  their  native  shores.  Here  Mr.  Merry  continued  his  literary  labors 
by  publishing,  June,  1787,  a  poem  called  "  The  Adieu  and  Recall  to  Love"  in 
the  columns  of  The  World.  The  poem  was  signed  "  Delia  Crusca,"  partly  as  a 
proud  reminder  of  his  connection  with  the  Florentine  Academy,  partly,  per- 
haps, as  a  gentle  hint  that  he  strove  to  make  his  verses  all  wheat  and  no  chaff. 
This  poem,  which  after  all  was  not  so  very  bad,  but  only  strained  and  arti- 
ficial, attracted  the  attention  of  Mrs.  Hannah  Cowley,  famous  as  the  author 
of  "The  Belle's  Stratagem,"  a  play  that  deservedly  retains  its  hold  upon  the 
stage.  She  shall  tell  the  story  herself:  "The  beautiful  lines  of  the  '  Adieu 
and  Recall  to  Love'  struck  her  so  forcibly  that,  without  rising  from  the  table 
at  which  she  read,  she  answered  them  [the  answer,  it  may  be  interjected,  was 
printed  in  The  World  under  the  signature  Anna  Matilda].  Delia  Crusca's 
elegant  reply  surprised  her  into  another,  and  thus  the  correspondence  most 
unexpectedly  became  settled.  Anna  Matilda's  share  in  it  had  little  to  boast; 
but  she  has  one  claim  of  which  she  is  proud,  that  of  having  been  the  first  to 
point  out  the  excellence  of  Delia  Crusca, — if  there  can  be  merit  in  discerning 
what  is  so  very  obvious."  This  exjjlanation  appears  in  the  preface  to  her 
collected  poems.  Now  let  us  summon  a  witness  on  the  other  side.  Mr. 
William  Gifford,  of  whom  more  anon,  thus  succinctly  gives  the  story  of  Delia 
Crusca's  poetical  liaison  with  Laura  Matilda.  '•  While  the  epidemic  malady 
was  spreading  from  fool  to  fool,  Delia  Crusca  came  over  and  immediately 
announced  himself  by  a  sonnet  to  Love  [it  was  not  a  sonnet,  by  the  way], 
Anna  Matilda  wrote  an  incomparable  piece  of  nonsense  in  praise  of  it ;  and 
the  two  great  luminaries  of  the  age,  as  Mr.  Bell  calls  them,  fell  desper- 
ately in  love  with  each  other.  From  that  period  not  a  day  passed  without  an 
amatory  epistle,  fraught  with  lightning  and  thunder,  et  quicqiiid  hahetit  telo- 
riim  armamentaria  cceli.  The  fever  turned  to  frenzy,  Laura,  Maria,  Carlos, 
Orlando,  Adelaide,  and  a  thousand  nameless  names,  caught  the  infection,  and 
from  one  end  of  the  kingdom  to  another  all  was  nonsense  and  Delia  Crusca." 
The  Mr.  Bell  alluded  to  was  the  publisher  whom  these  authors  mainly  affected, 
and  who  also  issued  a  selection,  entitled  first  "The  Poetry  of  the  World," 
and  afterwards  "The  British  Album,"  which  ran  through  several  editions. 
Here  is  the  publisher's  advertisement : 

Two  beautiful  volumes  this  day  published,  embellished  with  genuine  portraits  of  the  real 
Delia  Crusca  and  Anna  Matilda,  engraved  in  a  very  superior  manner  from  faithful  pictures, 
under  the  title  of  "  'I  he  British  Album,"  being  a  new  edition,  revised  and  corrected  by  their 
respective  authors,  of  the  celebrated  poems  of  Delia  Crusca,  Anna  Matilda,  Arley,  Laura, 
Benedict,  and  the  elegant  Cesario,  "  the  African  Boy;"  and  others,  signed  The  Bard,  by 
Mr.  Jerningham  ;  General  Conway's  elegy  on  Miss  C.  Campbell ;  Marquis  of  Townshend's 
verses  on  Miss  Gardiner ;  Lord  Derby's  lines  on  Miss  Farren's  portrait. 

The  only  pseudonyme  in  the  list  which  it  is  of  much  interest  to  decipher 
still  remains  a  mystery.  It  is  to  "  Arley"  that  we  owe  the  admittedly  excellent 
ballad  of  "  Wapping  Old  Stairs,"  which  first  appeared  in  The  World  for 
November  29,  1787,  and  shines,  a  solitary  pearl,  in  the  pages  of  the  "British 
Album." 

The  reviews,  magazines,  and  newspapers  all  greeted  the  book  with  wild  ap- 
plause. One  critic  said  that  Anastasia's  poem  on  the  "Nightingale"  was 
superior  to  Milton.  Greathead  equalled  Shakespeare.  Cesario  outdid  Pope. 
Este  was  "incomparable," — the  comparisons  having  all  been  exhausted  by  the 
others.  Yet  the  very  titles  of  many  of  the  poems  were  enough  to  condemn 
them.  A  certain  Mr.  Vaughan,  under  the  alluring  name  of  "  Edwin,"  wrote 
melancholy  poems  on  the  death  of  a  bug,  the  flight  of  an  earwig,  the  mis- 
fortunes of  a  cockchafer.  Another  expended  pathos  and  fancy  in  celebrating 
the  demise  of  a  tame  mouse,  "which  belonged  to  a  lady  who  saved  its  liie, 
constantly  fed  it,  and  wept  at  its  approaching  death.  The  mouse's  eyes  dropped 


228  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

out  of  its  head,  poor  mouse  !  the  day  before  it  died."     And  here  is  how  the 
event  was  celebrated : 

This  feeling  mouse,  whose  heart  was  warmed 

By  Pity's  purest  ray. 
Because  her  mistress  dropt  a  tear. 

Wept  both  her  eyes  away. 

By  sympathy  deprived  of  light. 

She  one  day's  darkness  tried  : 
The  grateful  tear  no  more  could  flow. 

She  liked  it  not,  and  died. 

May  we,  when  others  weep  for  us. 

The  debt  with  interest  pay. 
And  when  the  generous  fonts  are  dry. 

Revert  to  native  clay. 

While  the  Delia  Cruscan  mania  was  at  its  height,  William  Gifford,  then  a 
young  and  unknown  man,  came  out  with  a  satire  upon  it  called  "The  liaviad." 
It  had  some  sarcastic  vigor  and  more  Billingsgate  raciness.  At  all  events  it 
captured  the  town,  and  with  its  successor,  "  The  Maeviad,"  proved  a  heavy  blow 
to  the  delinquents.  Perhaps  Gifford,  with  a  not  unnatural  vanity,  believed 
its  effect  was  greater  than  it  really  was.  He  notes  that  Bell,  the  printer, 
accused  him  of  bespattering  nearly  all  the  poetical  eminence  of  the  day. 
"But  on  the  whole,''  he  continues,  "  the  clamor  against  me  was  not  loud,  and 
was  lost  by  insensible  degrees  in  the  applause  of  such  as  I  was  truly  ambitious 
to  please.  Thus  supported,  the  good  effects  of  the  satire  (gloriose  loqtiorl) 
were  not  long  in  manifesting  themselves.  Delia  Crusca  ajjpeared  no  more  in 
'The  Oracle,'  and  if  any  of  his  followers  ventured  to  treat  the  town  with  a 
soft  sonnet,  it  was  not,  as  before,  introduced  by  a  i)ompous  preface.  Pope  and 
Milton  resumed  their  superiority,  and  Este  and  his  coadjutors  silently  acqui- 
esced in  the  growing  opinion  of  their  incompetency  and  showed  some  sense 
of  shame."  Gifford's  judgment  has  been  accepted  by  posterity.  Yet  it  is  not 
quite  in  accordance  with  contemporary  testimony.  Seven  years  after  the  pub- 
lication of  the  "  Baviad,"  Mathias  remarks  that  "even  the  Bavian  drops  from 
Mr.  Gifford's  pen  have  fallen  off  like  oils  from  the  plumage  of  the  Florence 
and  Cruscan  geese.  I  am  told  that  Mr.  Greathead  and  Mr.  Merry  yet  write 
and  speak,  and  Mr.  Jerningham  (poor  man  !)  still  continues  'sillier  than  his 
sheep.' "  Indeed,  Laura  Matilda's  dirge  in  the  "  Rejected  Addresses"  is  a 
standing  monument  of  the  vitality  of  Delia  Cruscanism  more  than  twenty 
years  after  its  supposed  death-blow.  The  serpent  was  scotched,  not  killed ; 
it  finally  died  a  natural  but  lingering  death. 

Deluge,  After  us  the  (Fr.,  "  Apres  nous  le  deluge").  This  nonchalant  ex- 
pression, which  has  become  historical  partly  from  its  truth,  partly  from  its  vivid 
expression  of  the  selfishness  and  recklessness  of  the  epoch  when  it  was  uttered, 
is  attributed  to  Madame  de  Pompadour.  "  In  the  midst  of  the  contemptible 
deceptions  and  frivolities  of  the  court  of  Louis  XV.,"  says  Sainte-Beuve,  "a 
vague  and  sinister  foreboding  haunted  the  king,  like  anticipated  remorse. 
'After  us  the  deluge,'  said  the  marquise.  'Things  will  last  our  time,'  rejoined 
the  careless  king."  Avery  similar  expression,  "After  me  the  deluge,"  has 
been  ascribed  to  Prince  Metternich,  but  here  there  is  a  notable  distinction  of 
meaning,  the  Austrian  diplomat  making  a  mournful,  if  egotistic,  prophecy  of 
great  political  and  social  evils,  against  which  he  considered  his  own  policy  to 
be  the  only  possible  barrier ;  while  the  Pompadour  meant  "  Let  us  make  the 
most  of  our  chances,  for  an  awful  reaction  is  at  hand."  The  French  Revolution 
was  the  answer  to  Madame.  Horace's  "  Carpe  diem"  ("  Enjoy  the  present 
day,"  Odes,  I.,  xi.  8),  and  Isaiah's  scornful  "  Let  us  eat  and  drink,  for  to-mor- 
row we  shall  die"  (xxii.  13),  are  phrases  of  the  same  order ;  but  a  much  closer 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  229 

analogy  may  be  found  in  the  line  of  an  unknown  Greek  poet  frequently  quoted 
by  Tiberius  :  "  After  my  death,  perish  the  world  by  fire."  "  Nay,"  said  his 
successor,  Nero,  "  let  it  happen  in  my  lifetime  ;"  and  he  laid  Rome  in  ashes. 

Deuce.  This  term,  in  the  expression  "the  Deuce  !"  i.e.,  the  Devil,  comes, 
like  the  latter  word,  from  the  same  root  as  the  Latin  Deus,  God  (see  Bugahod), 
and  as  the  synonyme  for  two,  in  cards  and  other  games,  from  the  Latin  duo, 
through  the  French  deux  (old  Fr.  deiis).  It  is  doubly  strange  that  the  com- 
mon superstition  should  imagine  there  is  luck  under  a  deuce,  not  only  because 
of  the  modern  association  with  the  fiend  which  has  overridden  the  root-meaning, 
but  because  two  has  always  been  looked  upon  as  an  unlucky  number,  as  the 
first  of  the  series  of  even  numbers.  The  Pythagoreans  regarded  the  unit  as 
the  good  principle,  the  diiad  as  the  evil  one. 

God  hates  the  duall  number,  being  known 

The  luckless  number  of  division  : 
And  when  He  blessed  each  sevirall  day,  whereon 

He  did  His  curious  operation, 
'Tis  never  read  there,  as  the  fathers  say, 
God  blest  His  work  done  on  the  second  day. 

Herrick  :  Noble  Numbers. 

Devil,  A  candle  to  the.  The  French  have  the  familiar  phrase,  "  A  can- 
dle to  God  [or  to  St.  Michael]  and  another  to  the  devil."  Did  it  spring  from 
or  did  it  suggest  that  famous  picture  executed,  as  Brantome  tells  us,  by  order 
of  Robert  de  la  Marck,  which  represented  St.  Michael  triumphing  over  Satan, 
with  Robert  himself  kneeling  before  them,  a  candle  in  each  hand,  and  a 
scroll  issuing  from  his  mouth,  "  If  God  will  not  aid  me,  the  devil  surely  will 
not  fail  me"  ?  More  likely  the  proverb  is  older  than  the  picture,  as  it  is  a 
Christian  recrudescence  of  Virgil's  line, — 

Flectere  si  nequeo  superos,  Acheronta  movebo,— 
i.e.,  "  If  I  cannot  bend  the  celestials  to  my  purpose,  I  will  move  hell."  On 
the  same  principle  a  discreet  gentleman  in  the  early  days  of  Christianity 
always  took  care  to  salute  the  statue  of  Jupiter,  never  knowing,  as  he  ex- 
plained, when  he  might  come  into  power  again.  So,  also,  the  Spaniard  on 
his  death-bed,  when  his  confessor  spoke  of  the  torments  wherewith  the  devil 
afflicted  the  lost,  feebly  remonstrated,  "  I  trust  his  lordship  is  not  so  cruel." 
The  holy  man  was  shocked.  "Excuse  me,"  said  the  penitent,  "but  I  know 
not  into  what  hands  I  may  fall ;  and  if  I  happen  into  his,  I  hope  he  will  use 
me  the  better  for  giving  him  good  words."  The  Scotch  say,  "  It's  gude  to 
hae  friends  in  heaven  and  hell."  The  Scotch  and  the  Irish  alike  are  careful 
to  call  the  fairies,  even  the  malignant  ones,  "  the  good  people,"  or  "  the  men  of 
peace,"  so  as  to  conciliate  their  good  will.  The  ancients  also  avoided  any 
expressions  which  might  prove  obnoxious  to  the  unseen  powers  of  evil.  Thus, 
they  spoke  of  the  Furies  as  Euinenides,  or  benign  goddesses,  and  the  stormy 
Black  Sea  was  called  the  Euxine,  or  the  hospitable. 

Devil  and  the  deep  sea,  Between  the,  a  sort  of  rough-and-ready 
equivalent  for  the  old  classic  saying,  "  Between  Scylla  and  Charybdis,"  which 
is  at  least  as  old  as  the  early  part  of  the  seventeenth  century.  It  is  used,  for 
example,  by  Colonel  Munro  in  his  "Expedition  with  Mackay's  Regiment" 
{1637).  In  an  engagement  at  Werben,  between  the  forces  of  Gustavus  Adol- 
phus  and  the  Austrians,  Munro,  serving  on  the  Swedish  side,  found  his  men 
exposed  to  the  fire  of  Swedish  gunners  who  had  not  given  their  pieces  the 
proper  elevation.  In  his  own  phrase,  they  were  "  betwixt  the  devil  and  the 
deep  sea," — i.e.,  exposed  to  danger  from  friends  as  well  as  foes.  So  an  officer 
was  sent  to  the  batteries  with  a  request  that  the  guns  should  be  raised. 
There  is  a  passage  in  Shakespeare  which  seems  to  have  reference  to  some 
earlier  form  of  the  same  phrase  : 

20 


230  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Thou'dst  shun  a  bear  : 
But  if  thy  flight  lay  towards  the  raging  sea, 
Thou'dst  meet  the  bear  i'  the  mouth. 

King  Lear,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  4. 

There  is  just  a  possibility  that  the  expression  may  originally  have  been  a 
nautical  one  (cf.  Devil  to  Pay,  infra),  in  which  case  a  choice  between  "the 
devil"  and  the  deep  sea  might  indeed  be  an  awkward  one. 

Devil  can  cite  Scripture  for  his  purpose,  often  incorrectly  given  with 
the  substitution  of  "  quote"  for  "  cite,"  is  from  "  The  Merchant  of  Venice"  (Act 
i.,  Sc  3).     Elsewhere  Shakespeare  has  put  the  same  thought  in  other  words  : 

In  religion, 
What  damned  error,  but  some  sober  brow 
Will  bless  it  and  approve  it  with  a  text. 
Hiding  the  grossness  with  fair  ornament  ? 

Merchant  of  Venice,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  2. 

Devil  has  all  the  good  tunes.  When,  in  1740,  Charles  Wesley  wanted 
airs  for  some  of  his  peculiar  metres,  he  pertinently  asked,  "  Why  should  the 
devil  have  all  the  good  tunes.'"  and  straightway  appropriated  a  number  for 
hymnal  purposes.  But  at  that  time  the  divergence  between  sacred  and  secu- 
lar music  was  not  so  great  as  it  is  now.  The  most  popular  airs  were  in  a 
minor  key  ;  sung  slowly,  they  had  a  lugubrious  and  even  funereal  sound. 
Therein  lay  their  great  charm.  Set  to  words  of  merriment,  or  buffoonery,  or 
even  downright  obscenity,  they  added  the  spice  of  contrast,  to  which  the  grave 
faces  and  tones  of  the  singers  pungently  contributed. 

Devil  overlooking  Lincoln,  a  familiar  English  proverb  of  uncertain 
origin.     It  is  applied  to  a  jealous  critic  or  backbiter. 

Some  fetch  the  original  of  this  proverb  from  a  stone  picture  of  the  Devil,  which  doth  or 
lately  did  overlook  Lincoln  Colledge.  Truely  the  architect  intended  it  no  further  than  for  an 
ordinary  Antick,  though  beholders  have  since  applied  those  ugly  looks  to  curious  persons 
repining  at  the  prosperity  of  their  neighbors.  ...  To  return  to  our  English  proverb  it  is  con- 
ceived of  more  antiquity  than  either  of  the  fore-named  colledges,  though  the  secondary  sense 
thereof  lighted  not  unhappily,  and  that  it  related  originally  to  the  Cathedral  church  in  Lm- 
coln.^ — Fuller  :   Worthies  :   Ojc/ord. 

DevU's  Own,  the  nickname  of  the  Temple  Company,  a  London  militia 
company. 

George  III.  was  in  high  health  and  excellent  spirits.  When  the  "  Temple  Companies"  had 
defiled  before  him,  His  Majesty  inquired  of  Erskine,  who  commanded  them  as  lieutenant- 
colonel,  what  was  the  composition  of  that  corps.  "  They  are  all  lawyers,  sire,"  said  Erskine. 
"What!  what!"  exclaimed  the  King,  "  all  lawyers?  all  lawj-ers?  Call  them  '  The  Devils 
Own,"— call  them  '  The  Devil's  Own.'  "  And  '•  The  Devil's  Own"  they  were  called  accord- 
ingly'. Even  at  the  present  day  this  appellation  has  not  wholly  died  away.  Yet,  notwith- 
standing the  royal  parentage  of  this  pleasantrj',  I  must  own  that  I  greatly  prefer  to  it  another 
which  was  devised  in  i860.  It  was  then  in  contemplation  to  inscribe  upon  the  banner  of  one 
of  the  legal  companies,  "  Retained  for  the  Defence."— Earl  Stanhope:  Life  of  Pitt. 

Devil  to  pay  and  no  pitch  hot,  a  slang  phrase  for  a  condition  of  great 
embarrassment  and  confusion,  an  emergency  for  which  no  preparation^  has 
been  made,  appears  to  be  a  corruption  of  the  nautical  expression,  "Hell's  to 
pay,"  etc.,  hell  being  in  this  case  a  portion  of  the  hold  of  a  smack  left  partly 
free  of  access  to  sea-water,  in  which  freshly-caught  fish  are  thrown  and  thus 
kept  alive.  It  is,  of  course,  highly  important  that  the  bulkheads,  etc.,  about 
"hell"  should  be  kept  water-tight,  and  this  is  done  by  calking  with  oakum 
and  "  paying"  with  hot  pitch,  as  in  the  outer  seams  of  the  vessel. 

Devil  was  sick.  There  is  a  famous  distich  frequently  held  to  be  a  trans- 
lation of  Rabelais, — 

>  The  devil  was  sick,  the  devil  a  monk  would  be ; 
The  devil  was  well,  the  devil  a  monk  was  he. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


23] 


Though  it  does  occur  in  Urquhart  and  Motteux's  translation  of  "Gargantua" 
(Book  iv.,  ch.  xxiv.),  it  is  an  interpolation.  All  that  Rabelais  does  is  to  quote 
the  Italian  proverb  "  Passato  il  pericolo,  gabbato  il  santo"  ("  When  the  danger 
is  passed  the  saint  is  mocked").  The  English  lines  have  been  dubiously  traced 
to  an  anonymous  Latin  couplet, — 

^grotat  dsemon,  monachus  tunc  esse  volebat ; 
Djeraon  convaluit,  dsemon  ut  ante  fuit : 

which  is  not  half  so  pithy  as  the  Engiish,.and  therefore  suggests  a  translation 
rather  than  an  original.  The  same  moral  is  enforced  in  Clough's  lines  quoted 
under  Atheism  ;  in  the  English  proverb  "The  chamber  of  sickness  is  the 
chapel  of  devotion  ;"  and  in  the  anonymous  quatrain, — 

God  and  the  Doctor  we  alike  adore. 

But  only  when  in  danger,  not  before  ; 

The  danger  o'er,  both  are  alike  requited, 

God  is  forgotten  and  the  Doctor  slighted. 
This  is  a  free  rendering  of  the  Latin  epigram, — 

Intrantis  medici  facies  tres  esse  videntur 

jEgrotanti  :  hominis,  Daemonis,  atque  Dei. 
Cum  primum  accessit  medicus  dixitque  salutem, 

"  En  Deus"  aut  "  custos  angelus"  seger  ait. 
Cum  morbum  medicina  fugaverit,  "  Ecce  homo,"  clamat : 
Cum  poscit  medicus  praemia,  "  Vade  Satan  !" 

John  Owen  of  Oxford  (quoted)  : 
which  has  been  imitated  also  by  Quarks  : 

Our  God  and  soldier  we  alike  adore 

E'en  at  the  brink  of  ruin,  not  before ; 

After  deliverance  both  alike  requited, 

Our  God's  forgotten  and  our  soldier's  slighted. 

Dictionary.  Bailey,  a  dictionary-maker  himself,  tells  us  that  Julius  Scali- 
ger,  in  certain  fits  of  princely  contempt  for  his  calling  as  a  philologer,  was  used 
to  thank  God  that  he  had  put  it  into  the  hearts  of  some  men  to  make  diction- 
aries. This  was  what  Artemus  Ward  would  call  sarkkasm.  What  Scaliger 
really  thought,  or  what  he  really  thought  he  thought,  is  shown  by  those  well- 
known  lines  wherein  he  declares  that  when  any  particularly  atrocious  criminal 
was  to  be  disposed  of  he  should  be  set  at  work  to  make  dictionaries : 

Lexica  contexat ;  nam  (caetera  quid  memors?)  omnes 

Poenarum  facies  hie  labor  unus  habet. 

Yet  Scaliger's  thanksgiving  is  a  thoroughly  reasonable  one  if  taken  seriously. 
Indeed,  words  of  a  similar  import  were  written  in  all  good  faith  over  the 
dictionaries  in  Oxford  in  the  sixteenth  century,  when  lexicons  were  chained  in 
the  school-houses  as  Bibles  were  in  the  churches,  by  reason  of  their  costliness 
and  rarity.  And  most  of  us  would  re-echo  the  thanksgiving  with  equal  good 
faith. 

The  history  of  dictionaries  may  seem  an  unprofitable  subject.  Yet  it  is  full 
of  gladsome  interest  and  of  the  vitalizing  spirit  of  humor.  Before  dictionaries 
were,  letters  had  their  small  diffusion  viva  voce.  Saul,  come  to  grief  over  a 
verbal  stumbling-block  in  a  manuscript,  asked  Gamaliel  for  the  short  interpre- 
tation that  should  clear  the  way.  By  the  lip  was  solved  the  mystery  proceed- 
ing from  the  lip  ;  for  within  the  portico  or  academe,  in  the  cloister  or  under 
the  shade  of  the  hill,  sat  Pedagogus  amid  his  disciples,  and  the  lip  was  near. 
At  length  some  scholastic  of  broader  mind  than  common  bethought  him, 
during  the  absence  of  his  flock,  of  lightening  the  labors  of  both.  Going  care- 
fully over  his  treasured  manuscript,  probably  of  his  own  copying,  he  would 
single  out  the  hard  words  and  write  above  them  the  meaning,  the  exposition, 
the  gloss.  At  the  very  first  word  which  this  pioneer  of  the  old  world  so 
glossed  the  seed  was  sown  of  the  new-world  dictionaries ;  and  there  has  been 


232  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

no  stop  to  the  growth  of  this  seed  till  the  tree  from  it  has  spread  its  thick  and 
wide  branches  as  far  as  they  have  spread  and  are  still  spreading  to  this  very  day. 

But  such  glosses,  even  when  traced  in  beautiful  red  ink  over  the  difficult 
words,  defaced  the  skilled  beauty  of  goodly  manuscripts.  Gradually  it  grew 
to  be  a  habit  to  place  the  glossed  words  in  a  separate  list  at  the  end.  Soon 
the  glosses  of  this  or  that  man  grew  to  have  special  value,  and  were  re-copied 
on  a  special  manuscript.  Then,  as  rival  glosses  had  their  separate  and  distinct 
charm,  a  number  of  glosses  were  pjeced  together,  adding  the  glory  and  the 
occasional  bewilderment  of  variety.  The  glosses  now  became  known  as  glos- 
saries, or  lexicons,  and,  like  the  Glossary  of  Varro,  dedicated  to  his  contempo- 
rary Cicero,  or  the  Lexicon  of  Apollonius  the  Sophist,  in  the  first  century, 
elucidating  the  Iliad  and  the  Odyssey,  represented  the  labors  of  many  pred- 
ecessors reduced  to  order  by  one  master-mind.  Here  was  the  manner  and 
form  of  the  modern  dictionary.  Taking  great  leaps,  and  making  no  note  of 
the  intermediate  progress,  we  come  to  the  Lexicon  of  Suidas,  compiled  in  the 
tenth  century,  where  the  plan  was  first  used  of  giving  extracts  from  the  poets 
and  historians  it  explained  to  explain  them  still  further,  and  next  to  the  Dic- 
tionary of  Johannes  Crestonus,  in  Greek  and  Latin,  printed  in  1483,  a  further 
development.  And  now  the  subject  becomes  so  large  and  varied  that  we  must 
confine  ourselves  to  one  branch, — the  history  of  the  English  dictionary. 

The  first  English  dictionary  proper  was  a  thick  folio  volume  published  by 
Richard  Huloet  in  1552.  Other  dictionaries  had  been  issued  before,  but  they 
were  of  the  Latin,  French,  or  other  alien  tongues.  This  was  the  first  diction- 
ary to  give  English  definitions  to  English  words,  though  it  added  thereto  the 
Latin  and  French  synonymes,  unless,  indeed,  the  French  is  not  in  good 
Richard's  knowledge,  when  it  is  incontinendy  omitted.  Here  is  his  manner  : 
"  Pickers  or  thieves  that  go  by  into  chambers,  making  as  though  they  sought 
something.  Diaetarii.  Ulpian.  Larrons  qui  montent  jusques  aux  chambres, 
faisant  senibiant  de  chercher  quelque  chose." 

A  similar  plan  was  followed  in  the  first  edition  of  John  Baret's  "  Alvearie, 
or  Triple  Dictionarie  in  Englyshe,  Latin  and  French,"  first  issued  in  1573,  and 
seven  years  later  reprinted,  with  the  addition  of  Greek,  as  a  Quadruple  Dic- 
tionarie. The  title  of  this  second  edition  stated,  quaintly  enough,  that  it  was 
"newlie  enriched  with  varietie  of  Wordes,  Phrases,  Proverbs,  and  diuers  light- 
some obseruations  of  Grammar."  In  the  Greek  portion,  however,  the  book 
labored  under  some  disadvantages,  thus  naively  set  forth  by  Baret  himself: 
"  As  for  Greeke,  I  could  not  ioyne  it  with  every  Latin  word,  for  lacke  of  fit 
Greeke  letters,  the  printer  not  having  leasure  to  provide  the  same." 

It  was  probably  this  dictionary  which  was  alluded  to  in  the  records  of  the 
Boston  (England)  Corporation,  under  date  1578:  "That  adictionarye  shall  be 
bought  for  the  scollers  of  the  Free  Scoole,  and  the  same  boke  to  be  tyed  in  a 
cheyne,  and  set  upon  a  deske  in  the  scoole,  whereunto  any  scoller  may  have 
accesse,  as  occasion  shall  serve." 

The  first  dictionary  confined  entirely  to  the  English  language  was  Robert 
Cawdrey's  "  Table  Alphabetical!,  conteyning  and  teaching  the  true  writing  and 
understanding  of  hard  usuall  English  Wordes."  It  is  a  thin  little  volume 
because  confined  to  one  language,  and  limited,  as  indeed  were  all  its  prede- 
cessors, to  hard  words.  Cawdrey  evidently  had  little  faith  in  the  intelligence  of 
his  reader,  for  he  thus  innocently  instructs  him  in  the  use  of  his  book  :  "  If 
thou  be  desirous  (gentle  reader)  rightly  and  readily  to  understand  and  to 
profit  by  this  table,  and  such  like,  then  thou  must  learn  the  alphabet,  to 
wit,  the  order  of  the  letters  as  they  stand,  perfectly  without  book,  and  where 
every  letter  standeth :  as  (1^)  neere  the  beginning,  («)  about  the  middest,  and 
(^)  toward  the  end." 

Cotgrave's  "French  and  English  Dictionary,"  published  in  161 1,  made  many 


I 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  233 

notable  strides  over  all  predecessors.  Its  definitions  were  fuller,  and  its  author 
added  illustrations  from  current  proverbs  and  sayings.  "  A  Bundle  of  Words" 
he  calls  it,  in  a  fatherly,  fondling  fashion,  and  tells  his  reader,  ''  I  (who  am 
no  God  or  angel)  have  caused  such  overslips  as  have  yet  occurred  to  mine 
eye  or  understanding  to  be  ])laced  neere  the  forhead  of  this  Verball  Creature." 
See  how  his  fertile  brain  worked  :  Aller  is  defined  as  "To  goe,  walke,  wende, 
march,  pace,  tread,  proceed,  journey,  travell,  depart,"  with  twoscore  picturesque 
illustrations,  as  "  Aller  a  S.  Bezet,  To  rest  in  no  place  ;  continually  to  trot,  gad, 
wander  up  and  down."  "  Tout  le  monde  s'en  va  a  la  moustarde, — 'Tis  common, 
vulgar.  Divulged  all  the  world  over  (said  of  a  book),  Wast  paper  is  made  of  it. 
Mustard-pots  are  stopped  with  it  (so  much  the  world  esteems  it)." 

Henry  Cockeram's  "  English  Dictionarie,"  1623,  is  full  of  fun.  It  is  primarily 
a  dictionary  of  current  vernacular,  and  the  author  somewhat  apologetically  ex- 
plains that  he  imagined  "Ladies  and  Gentlewomen,  young  schollers,  clarkes, 
merchants,"  etc.,  desirous  of  a  refined  and  elegant  speech,  would  like  an  ex- 
positor of  "vulgar  words,  mocke  words,  fustian  termes  ridiculously  used  in 
our  language,"  so  as  to  gather  therefrom  "the  exact  and  ample  word"  which 
would  fit  them  to  shine.  So  he  tells  them  that  rude  is  vulgar,  and  allows  them 
the  alternative  of  agresticall,  rusticall,  or  immorigerous  ;  that  To  weede  is 
vulgar,  the  choice  word  being  To  sarculate.  To  diruncinate,  or  To  averuncate  ; 
that  the  phrase  To  knock  one's  legs  together  is  vulgar,  and  should  be  called, 
choicely,  To  interfeere. 

Among  the  successors  of  Cockeram  may  be  briefly  mentioned  Blount's 
"  Glossographie,"  1656;  Edward  Phillips's  "  iVew  World  of  Words,"  1658 
(Phillips,  by  the  way,  was  a  nephew  of  John  Milton)  ;  Bailey's  "  Universal 
Etymological  English  Dictionary,"  1721,  notable  as  the  first  attempt  to  present 
all  words,  easy  as  well  as  "  hard,"  slang  as  well  as  euphemistic,  current  as  well 
as  obsolete  ;  the  anonymous  "  Gazophylacium  Anglicanum,"  in  1689  ;  Thomas 
Dyche's  Dictionary,  in  1723  ;  and  John  Wesley's  little  Dictionary,  in  1753. 

Though  John  Wesley  modestly  informed  the  reader  on  his  title-page  that 
he  considered  he  had  produced  "the  best  English  Dictionary  in  the  world," 
and  adds,  "many  are  the  mistakes  in  all  the  other  English  dictionaries  which 
I  have  yet  seen,  whereas  I  can  truly  say  I  know  of  none  in  this," — nevertheless, 
it  was  only  two  years  later,  in  1755,  ''^^^  ^'""^  fi*"^'  really  valuable  lexicon  of  the 
language  appeared,  in  Dr.  Samuel  Johnson's  famous  Dictionary,  and  threw  all 
its  predecessors  and  rivals  into  the  shade. 

Of  course,  even  Dr.  Johnson's  work  is  valueless  in  these  days,  save  as  a 
landmark  in  English  literature.  Its  definitions  are  often  inadequate,  and  sonrie- 
times  erroneous.  They  have  no  present  use  as  philology,  though  the  massive 
individuality  which  informs  them  keeps  them  alive  as  art.  The  etymology  is 
absurd.  That  science  has  only  thrown  off  its  swaddling-clothes  within  the 
last  few  years.  Coleridge  says  that  more  knowledge  of  more  value  might 
sometimes  be  learned  from  the  history  of  a  word  than  from  the  history  of  a 
campaign.  But  the  history  must  be  genuine  history.  Even  in  Coleridge's  day 
it  was  the  wildest  guess-work.  The  value  of  the  historical  method  in  philo- 
logical research  is  a  recent  discovery.  The  ancient  lexicographers  used 
calmly  to  jump  at  the  conclusion  that  any  word  or  words  in  a  foreign  language 
-which  remotely  suggested  an  English  word  was  the  parent  of  the  latter. 

Thus,  the  author  of  the  "  Gazophylacium  Anglicanum"  derives  hassock  from 
"the  Teutonic  kase,  an  hare,  and  socks,  because  hare-skins  are  sometimes 
woven  into  socks,  to  keep  the  feet  warm  in  winter."  "  Haslenut,"  with  equal 
acumen,  is  derived  from  the  word  haste,  "because  it  is  ripe  before  wall-nuts 
and  chestnuts."  The  author  says  of  his  work  that  "  the  chief  reason  why  I 
busied  myself  herein,  was  to  save  my  time  from  being  worse  employed." 

Johnson  himself  was  fond  of  similar  exploits.  He  derives  motley  from 
20* 


234  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

moth-like,  "or,  of  various  colors  resembling  a  moth,"  and  spider  from  spy- 
dor, — the  insect  that  watches  the  dor  or  humble-bee.  You  remember  the 
famous  story  about  the  derivation  of  curmudgeon  ?  Johnson  received  from 
some  unknown  source  a  letter  deriving  the  word  from  caur  niechant,  or  wicked 
heart, — a  wild  enough  guess,  which  pleased  the  doctor  so  much  that  he 
adopted  it,  giving  due  credit  to  "unknown  correspondent."  Twenty  years 
later,  Dr.  Ash,  preparing  a  dictionary  of  his  own,  was  struck  by  this  gem,  and 
transferred  it  to  his  own  pages.  But,  wishing  all  the  glory  of  the  discovery 
for  himself,  he  gave  no  credit  to  Johnson,  and  informed  a  wondering  world 
that  curmudgeon  was  formed  from  cceur,  "  unknown,"  and  meckant,  "  corre- 
spondent." 

The  Rev.  Frederick  Barlow,  in  his  "  Complete  English  Dictionary,"  pub- 
lished in  two  volumes  in  1772,  suggests  that  "pageant"  is  derived  from 
" payen  geant,  Fr.,  a  pagan  giant,  a  representation  of  triumph  used  at  the 
return  from  holy  wars  ;  of  which  the  Saracen's  head  seems  to  be  a  relique." 
In  the  same  book  "sash"  is  sagely  derived  from  "^s^avoir,  Fr.,  to  know,  be- 
cause worn  for  the  sake  of  distinction." 

But  Rev.  G.  W.  Lemon,  master  of  Norwich  Grammar-School,  who  in  1783 
published  "  A  Derivative  Dictionary  of  the  English  Language,"  carries  off  the 
honors  as  a  philological  humorist.  He  referred  everything  to  the  Greek,  even 
such  common,  every-day  words  as  "  scratch-candle,"  "  link-boy,"  and  "  crutched 
friars."  A  story  that  was  current  in  the  mouths  of  contemporary  jesters  is 
hardly  a  burlesque.  Alderman  Beasley,  of  Norwich,  was  a  ponderous  gentle- 
man whom  Mr.  Lemon  worried  unsuccessfully  for  a  subscription  :  so  in  revenge 
he  coined  the  following  etymology  for  obesity  :  "  The  exclamation  of  people  who 
see  a  certain  Norwich  Alderman:  'Oh  Beasley!  oh  beastly!!  o-besity  !!!' " 
The  story  added  that  the  alderman  was  informed  of  this  libel  in  time,  obtained 
an  injunction  against  its  publication,  and  so  the  sheet  was  cancelled. 

A  very  wise  man  was  Rev.  Thomas  Dyche,  who  eschews  all  etymologies, 
because,  in  the  first  place,  they  are  very  often  so  uncertain,  and,  secondly,  they 
are  useless  to  "those  persons  that  these  sort  of  books  are  most  useful  to." 

There  is  much  humorous  interest  of  a  quiet  and  ruminative  sort  to  be 
gleaned  from  the  definitions  as  well  as  the  etymologies  of  the  early  dictionaries. 

Henry  Cockeram  defines  "pole"  as  "the  end  of  the  axle-tree  whereon  the 
heavens  do  move;"  "an  idiote"  is  "an  unlearned  asse  ;"  a  "labourer"  is  a 
"swinker;"  and  "a  heretick"  is  sketched  more  roundaboutly,  but  with  a 
clear  assertion  of  the  right  of  private  opinion,  as  "  he  which  maketh  choice 
of  himselfe  what  poynts  of  religion  he  ^yill  believe  and  what  he  will  not." 
Then,  from  classic  times,  the  "Olympic  games"  are  "solemn  games  of  activ- 
ity," and  "  Amphitrite"  is  not,  as  usual,  the  goddess  of  the  sea,  but  the  "sea" 
itself 

Still  funnier  are  the  natural  history  definitions.  A  baboon  is  said  to  be  "a 
beast  like  an  ape,  but  farre  bigger;"  a  lynx  is  "a  spotted  beast — it  hath  a 
most  perfect  sight,  insomuch  as  it  is  said  that  it  can  see  thorow  a  wall."  The 
account  of  the  salamander  reads  like  an  elaborate  joke  :  "  A  small,  venomous 
beast,  with  foure  feet  and  a  short  taile  ;  it  lives  in  the  fire,  and  at  length,  by 
his  extreme  cold,  puts  out  the  fire.''  An  ignarus  is  a  still  quainter  zoological 
curiosity,  inasmuch  as  at  night-time  "it  singeth  six  kinds  of  notes,  one  after 
another,  as,  la-sol-me-fa-me-re-ut." 

Dictionaries,  indeed,  embody  many  curious  superstitions  about  animals. 
Richard  Huloet  gravely  describes  the  cockatrice  as  "a  serpent,  called  the 
Kynge  of  Serpentes,  whose  nature  is  to  kyll  wyth  hyssynge  only."  "The 
Barbie,"  says  Henry  Cockeram,  is  "  a  Fish  that  will  not  meddle  with  the 
baite  untill  with  her  taile  she  have  unhooked  it  from  the  hooke."  Bullokar, 
after  a  column  and  a  half  descriptive  of  tire  crocodile,  ventures  the  further 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  235 

information  that  "  he  will  weepe  over  a  man's  head  when  he  hath  devoured 
the  body,  and  then  will  eat  up  the  head  too.  ...  I  saw  once  one  of  these 
beasts  in  London,  brought  thither  dead,  but  in  perfect  forme,  of  about  2  yards 
long,"  a  detail  of  personal  experience  which  shows  what  was  tolerated  and 
even  expected  in  a  dictionary  at  that  time.  Bailey  continues  his  predecessor's 
natural  history  with  the  same  delightful  simplicity.  The  Unicorn  Whale  is 
"a  fish  eighteen  foot  long,  having  a  head  like  a  horse  and  scales  as  big  as  a 
crown  piece,  six  large  fins  like  the  end  of  a  galley  oar,  and  a  horn  issuing  out 
of  the  forehead  nine  feet  long,  so  sharpe  as  to  pierce  the  hardest  bodies,"  and 
the  Loriot  or  Golden  Oriole  "a  bird  that,  being  looked  upon  by  one  wl  1 
has  the  yellow  jaundice,  cures  the  person  and  dies  himself"  Penning,  who  is 
more  conservative,  defines  Loriot  merely  as  "  a  kind  of  bird,"  which  is  only  an 
example  among  many  of  the  eminently  satisfying  nature  of  the  information 
these  old  dictionaries  often  supply. 

In  many  cases  the  explanations  given  by  our  dictionary-makers  are  pure 
blunders.  Edward  Phillips  defines  a  gallon  as  "a  measure  containing  two 
quarts  ;"  and  again,  a  quaver  is  stated  to  be  "a  measure  of  time  in  musick, 
being  the  half  of  a  crotchet,  as  a  crotchet  the  half  of  quaver."  Dr.  Johnson's 
original  definition  ol pastern  as  "the  knee  of  a  horse"  was  a  remarkable 
blunder.  When  questioned  on  the  point,  he  candidly  attributed  it  to  the 
right  cause, — ignorance.  It  was  corrected  in  subsequent  editions.  Dr.  Ash, 
in  his  Dictionary  of  1775,  under  "esoteric"  explains  it  as  merely  an  incor- 
rect spelling  for  "exoteric."  But  Johnson  had  neither  exoteric  nor  esoteric. 
Another  of  Ash's  amazing  entries  was  "  Bihovac,  rather  an  incorrect  spell- 
ing for  bivoac,"  while  the  right  word.  Bivouac,  is  left  out  altogether.  His 
geography  also  was  weak,  for  he  states  that  "  Aghrim  is  a  town  in  Ireland, 
in  the  County  of  Wicklow,  and  Province  of  Leinster."  Todd's  edition  of, 
Johnson,  excellent  work  as  it  is,  is  not  entirely  free  from  blunders.  He  oddly 
explains  "coaxation"  as  "the  art  of  coaxing,"  insteg,d  of  the  croaking  of 
frogs.  Webster,  in  his  first  issue,  has  some  curious  mistakes  in  cricketing 
terms.  The  wicket-keeper,  he  says,  is  "  the  player  in  cricket  who  stands  with 
a  bat  to  protect  the  wicket  from  the  ball,"  and  a  long-stop  is  "  one  who  is 
sent  to  stop  balls  sent  a  long  distance." 

Remarkable  also  is  the  personal  animus  which  is  apparent  in  most  of  these 
old  dictionaries.  Their  authors  rejoiced  if  they  could  belabor  an  adversary 
or  laud  their  own  fads  or  ridicule  some  pet  aversion  while  pretending  to 
define  a  word. 

Thus,  Wesley  defines  Methodist  as  "one  that  lives  according  to  the  method 
laid  down  in  the  Bible  ;"  and  a  "  Swaddler  is  a  nickname  given  by  the  Papists 
in  Ireland  to  true  Protestants."  And  who  are  true  Protestants?  Methodists, 
again,  of  course.  Southey,  in  his  "  Life  of  Wesley,"  tells  us  that  this  curious 
nickname  was  first  applied  to  a  Methodist  preacher  by  a  Catholic,  who,  being 
unfamiliar  with  the  gospel,  thought  the  words  "swaddling-clothes"  extremely 
ridiculous,  and  so  coined  the  epithet  "swaddler"  for  the  preacher. 

Richelet,  author  of  an  early  French  dictionary  (169S)  which  also  has  much 
of  this  enriching  flavor  of  personality,  remarks  under  the  head  of  Epicier,  or 
grocer,  that  "  these  people  wrap  some  of  their  merchandise  in  gray  paper,  or 
in  a  few  sheets  of  wretched  books,  which  one  sells  to  them  because  one  has 
been  unable  to  sell  them  to  others.  The  translation  of  Tacitus  by  the  little 
man  d'Ablancourt  has  had  this  misfortune."  Richelet  is  cautious  enough  to 
express  this  lexicographic  remark  as  follows:  "Zi?  Tac.  du  petit  A.  a  eu  ce 
malheiir.'''' 

Dr.  Johnson  defines  oats  as  "  a  grain  which  in  England  is  generally  given 
to  horses,  but  in  Scotland  supports  the  people."  A  Puritan  is  "a  sectary 
pretending  to  eminent  purity  of  religion."     A  Whig  is  "  the  name  of  a  fac- 


236  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

tion,"  but  a  Tory  is  "  one  who  adheres  to  the  antient  constitution  of  the  state 
and  the  apostolical  hierarchy  of  the  Church  of  England,  opposed  to  a  Whig." 
Pensioner  is  "a  slave  of  state,  hired  by  a  stipend  to  obey  his  master"  (this 
definition  was  recalled  with  much  glee  by  the  doctor's  enemies  when  he  him- 
self became  a  pensioner  of  the  state).  An  excise  is  "a  hateful  tax  levied 
upon  commodities,  and  adjudged  not  by  the  common  judges  of  property,  but 
by  wretches  hired  by  those  to  whom  excise  is  paid." 

The  commissioners  of  excise  were  very  indignant  at  being  characterized  as 
wretches,  and  consulted  with  the  attorney-general  whether  an  action  for  libel 
would  lie.  He  decided  it  would,  but  deemed  it  advisable  that  they  should  let 
the  matter  rest. 

After  all,  Dr.  Johnson,  who  in  the  same  dictionary  defined  lexicographer  as 
"a  writer  of  dictionories  ;  a  harmless  drudge  that  busies  himself  in  tracing 
the  origin  and  detailing  the  signification  of  words," — Dr.  Johnson  was  quite 
willing  to  turn  the  tables  against  himself.  But  why  dictionories .''  the  captious 
might  ask.  Only  another  error, — one  of  thousands,  misprints,  misstatements, 
slips  of  the  jjen  and  of  the  memory,  which  Johnson  with  all  his  patience  and 
learning  could  not  avoid,  and  some  of  which,  such  is  the  solidarity  of  diction- 
aries, have  been  copied  with  rare  patience  and  pertinacity  by  his  successors. 
Thus,  down  to  1S90,  at  least,  almost  every  dictionary  repeated  Johnson's 
amusing  misprint  of  adventine  for  adventive. 

Some  of  his  definitions  are  remarkable  for  the  Johnsonian  ponderosity  with 
which  he  obscures  a  subject  while  attempting  to  elucidate  it.  The  champion 
instance  is  net-work,  which  runs  as  follows  :  "  Anything  reticulated  or  decus- 
sated at  equal  distances,  with  interstices  between  the  intersections." 

Definitions  that  sound  equally  humorous  to  the  layman  abound,  of  course, 
in  technical  works.  When  one  learns  that  a  boil  is  "a  circumscribed  subcu- 
taneous inflammation,  suppurating,  with  a  central  core,  a  furunculus,"  one  is 
either  amused  or  alarmed  ;  and  when  one  find  out  that  a  kiss  is  "  the  anatomi- 
cal juxtaposition  of  two  orbicularis  oris  muscles  in  a  state  of  contraction,"  one 
realizes  with  the  New  Paul  of  Mr.  Mallock  the  solemnity  of  human  pleasures. 

But  the  most  famous  definition  in  philological  history  (to  be  Hibernian)  is 
one  that  never  appeared.  When  the  Forty  Immortals  were  engaged  upon 
the  Dictionary  of  the  French  Academy  the  word  crab  (or,  as  some  authorities 
assert,  lobster)  came  up  for  a  gloss.  The  following  was  offered  by  one  of  the 
number :  "  A  little  red  fish  that  walks  backward."  Furetiere,  a  dictionary- 
maker  himself,  objected.  "Gentlemen,"  he  said,  "the  definition  is  no  doubt 
a  very  clever  one.  But  it  is  open  to  three  objections.  In  the  first  place,  the 
animal  is  not  a  fish  ;  in  the  second  place,  it  is  not  red  until  boiled  ;  in  the 
third  place,  it  does  not  walk  backward."  The  objection  was  sustained.  An 
ingenious  but  rather  casuistical  effort,  however,  has  been  made  to  rehabilitate 
it  in  public  esteem.  The  climax  of  the  crab's  life,  it  has  been  urged,  is  only 
reached  when  he  is  red, — for  only  after  cooking  do  most  of  our  race  know 
him  ;  he  is  purified  and  made  whole  by  fire.  Theologians  recognize  him  as  a 
fish,  and  he  is  eaten  as  such,  on  Fridays,  by  the  devoutest  Catholics.  Even 
the  ichthyologically  learned  must  admit  that  if  he  is  not  scientifically  a  fish,  a 
scale-fish,  with  the  flesh  outside  and  the  bones  inside,  he  is  a  sort  of  fish,  a 
"  variation,"  as  science  terms  him,  a  shell-fish  which,  in  his  eccentric  but  kindly 
nature,  prefers  to  wear  the  bones  outside  and  keep  the  flesh  nicely  packed 
away  for  the  convenience  of  the  epicure.  And  as  to  his  mode  of  progression, 
so  great  and  fishy  an  authority  as  the  melancholy  Dane  says,  "  If,  like  a  crab, 
you  could  walk  backward." 

A  joke  might  appear  to  be  the  last  thing  one  would  seek  in  a  dictionary. 
Yet  Johnson's  definition  of  lexicographer,  already  given,  might  be  classed  as 
such.     And  his  skit  at  his  friend,  whose  real  name  was  Malloch,  but  who 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  237 

desired  to  be  known  as  Mallet,  had  a  wicked  spice  of  humor  in  it.  Defining 
alias,  he  says,  "  A  Latin  word,  signifying  otherwise  ;  as  Mallet,  alias  Malloch 
— that  is,  otherwise  Malloch." 

Even  puns,  and  very  bad  puns,  have  found  their  way  into  the  most  ponder- 
ous lexicons.  Nothing  could  be  worse  than  the  entry  in  Adam  Littleton's 
Latin  Dictionary  ;  "  Concurro,  to  run  with  others  ;  to  run  together ;  .  .  to 
cox\-cttr,  con-</c_^."  But  this  has  sometimes  been  explained  as  a  clerical 
blunder.  Littleton  was  dictating  the  definition  to  his  secretary,  who,  a  little 
hard  of  hearing,  stopped  to  ask,  "  Con — what  ?"  "  Con-cur,"  said  the  doctor, 
testily,  adding  "  con-dog"  as  a  further  explanation,  and  the  secretary,  scared, 
perhaps,  by  the  tempest  he  had  raised,  meekly  put  down  both  the  word  and 
the  pun  by  which  its  meaning  was  emphasized.  Even  the  ponderous  Liddell 
and  Scott  run  Mr.  Littleton  a  hard  race  when  they  say,  under  sycophant 
(literally,  an  informer  against  those  who  exported y?j,'-j),  "The  literal  sense  is 
not  found  in  any  ancient  writer,  and  is  perhaps  a  mere  figment." 

To  the  credit  of  Liddell  and  Scott,  this  ghastly  attempt  at  a  joke  appeared 
only  in  four  editions,  when,  yielding  to  the  pressure  of  public  opinion,  the 
word  figment  was  changed  to  invention. 

An  unconscious  joke  of  a  better  quality  occurs  in  the  Century  Dictionary, 
under  the  heading  "Question,  to  pop  the.  See  Pop,"  which  has  the  additional 
merit  of  being  excellent  advice. 

Die  in  the  last  ditch.  When  William,  Prince  of  Orange  (afterwards 
William  IIL  of  England),  was  elected  Stadtholder  of  the  United  Netherlands 
in  1672,  and  found  himself  in  the  midst  of  a  war  with  England  and  France, 
he  was  asked  by  the  Duke  of  Buckingham  whether  he  did  not  see  ruin  im- 
pending over  his  country.  "  Nay,"  he  answered,  "  there  is  one  certain  means 
by  which  I  can  be  sure  never  to  see  my  country's  ruin.  I  will  die  in  the  last 
ditch."  (Hume,  ch.  Ixv.)  And,  rejecting  all  terms  of  peace,  he  checked  the 
invasion  of  the  French  by  opening  the  sluices  and  flooding  large  tracts  of 
land,  drove  them  from  Holland  in  1674,  made  honorable  terms  with  England, 
and  finally,  after  varying  fortunes,  brought  the  war  to  a  successful  close  by  a 
treaty  with  France  in  1678. 

Digito  monstrari  (L.,  "To  be  pointed  out  by  the  finger"),  a  familiar 
phrase  from  Persius's  "  Satires,"  i.  28,  the  context  being,  "  It  is  a  fine  thing 
to  be  pointed  out  with  the  finger,  and  hear  it  said.  That  is  he  !"  Hazlitt,  in 
his  essay  "  On  the  Disadvantages  of  Litellectual  Superiority,"  after  telling 
how  some  of  his  friends  failed  to  relish  his  very  best  things  and  other  people 
condemned  him  altogether,  goes  on  to  ask,  "  Shall  I  confess  a  weakness  "i 
The  only  set-off  I  know  to  these  rebuffs  and  mortifications  is  sometimes  in 
an  accidental  notice  or  involuntary  mark  of  distinction  from  a  stranger.  I  feel 
the  force  of  Horace's  digito  moftstrari, — I  like  to  be  pointed  out  in  the  street, 
or  to  hear  people  ask  in  Mr.  Powell's  court,  Which  is  Mr.  Hazlitt?  This  is 
to  me  a  pleasing  extension  of  one's  personal  identity.  Your  name  so  re- 
peated leaves  an  echo  like  music  on  the  ear  :  it  stirs  the  blood  like  the  sound 
of  a  trumpet."  Was  he  wrong  in  his  reference  (the  context  seems  to  indicate 
this),  or  was  he  thinking  of  that  passage  in  Horace's  "  Ode  to  Melpomene," 
"That  I  am  pointed  out  by  the  fingers  of  passers-by  [Quod  monstror  digito 
praetereuntium]  as  the  stringer  of  the  Roman  lyre  is  entirely  thy  gift :  that  I 
breathe  and  give  pleasure,  if  I  do  give  pleasure,  is  thine"? — a  sentiment  which 
Thomas  Moore  has  paraphrased  : 

If  the  pulse  of  the  patriot,  soldier,  or  lover 

Have  throbbed  at  our  lay,  'tis  thy  glory  alone  : 

I  was  but  as  the  wind  passing  heedlessly  over. 
And  all  the  wild  sweetness  I  waked  was  thy  own. 

Dear  Harp  o/my  Country. 


238  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Diner-out  of  the  highest  lustre.  This  epigrammatical  description 
(frequently  misquoted  "  of  the  first  water"),  which  has  been  turned  against 
Sydney  Smith  himself,  was  applied  by  the  witty  divine  to  George  Canning, 
who  was  at  the  time  secretary  of  state  for  foreign  affairs.  "  Providence  has 
made  him  a  light,  jesting,  paragraph-writing  man,  and  that  he  will  remain  to 
his  dying  day.  When  he  is  jocular  he  is  strong  ;  when  he  is  serious  he  is  like 
Samson  in  a  wig, — any  ordinary  person  is  a  match  for  him.  Call  him  a  legis- 
lator, a  reasoner,  and  the  conductor  of  the  affairs  of  a  great  nation,  and  it 
seems  to  me  as  absurd  as  if  a  butterfly  were  to  teach  bees  to  make  honey. 
That  he  is  an  extraordinary  writer  of  small  poetry  and  a  diner-out  of  the 
highest  lustre,  I  do  most  readily  admit.  But  you  may  as  well  feed  me  with 
decayed  potatoes  as  console  me  for  the  miseries  of  Ireland  by  the  resources 
of  his  sefise  and  his  discretioti.  It  is  only  the  public  situation  which  this  gen- 
tleman holds  which  entitles  me  or  induces  me  to  say  so  much  about  him. 
He  is  a  fly  in  amber  ;  nobody  cares  about  the  fly,  the  only  question  is.  How 
the  devil  did  it  get  there  ?" — Sydney  Smith  :  Peter  Plymley's  Letters. 

I  have  never  forgotten  what  happened  when  Sydney  Smith — who,  as  everybody  knows, 
was  an  exceedingly  sensible  man,  and  a  gentleman,  every  inch  of  him — ventured  to  preach  a 
sermon  on  the  "  Duties  of  Royalty."  The  Quarterly,  "  so  savage  and  tartarly,"  came  down 
upon  him  in  the  most  contemptuous  style,  as  "  a  joker  of  jokes,"  a  "  diner-out  of  the  first 
water,"  in  one  of  his  own  phrases  ;  sneering  at  him,  insulting  him,  as  nothing  but  a  toady  of 
the  court,  sneaking  behind  the  anonymous,  would  ever  have  been  mean  enough  to  do  to  a  man 
of  his  position  and  genius,  or  to  any  decent  person  even. — O.  W.  Holmes  :  Autocrat  of  the 
Breakfast-  Table. 

Dinner-bell.  A  sobriquet  which  his  fellow-parliamentarians  bestowed  on 
Burke,  whose  eloquence  on  great  occasions  was  hardly  more  extraordinary 
than  his  indefatigable  energy  and  interest  in  all  matters  before  the  House.  In 
the  days  when  he  wearied  everybody  with  details,  and,  as  Goldsmith  happily 
put  it, — 

Too  deep  for  his  hearers,  still  went  on  refining, 

And  thought  of  convincing  while  they  thought  of  dining, — 

a  large  number  of  the  members  actually  did  betake  themselves  to  that  occu- 
pation, which  circumstance  earned  for  the  great  orator  the  title  of  "The 
Dinner-Bell."  A  member,  who  was  just  going  into  the  House  on  one  of 
these  occasions,  meeting  Selwyn  and  some  others  coming  out,  inquired,  "Js 
the  House  up  ?"     "  No,"  replied  Selwyn  ;  "  but  Burke  is." 

Dirty  linen.  In  a  furious  speech  made  to  the  Chamber  of  Deputies 
during  the  crisis  which  followed  the  disasters  of  1814,  Napoleon  said,  "If  you 
have  complaints  to  make,  take  another  occasion,  when,  with  my  counsellors 
and  myself,  we  may  discuss  your  grievances  and  see  if  they  have  any  founda- 
tion. But  this  explanation  must  be  in  private  ;  for  dirty  linen  should  be 
washed  at  home,  not  in  public"  ("car  c'est  en  famille,  ce  n'est  pas  en  public, 
qu'on  lave  son  linge  sale").  These  very  words,  however,  had  been  addressed 
by  Voltaire  to  the  Encyclopaedists.  An  equally  famous  use  of  the  term 
"dirty  linen,"  though  with  another  application,  occurred  in  a  letter  (1752) 
from  Voltaire  to  General  Manstein,  who  had  asked  him  to  revise  some  papers 
he  had  written  on  Russia:  "The  king  [Frederick]  has  sent  me  some  of  his 
dirty  linen  to  wash  ;  I  will  wash  yours  another  time"  ("  Voila  le  roi  qui 
m'envoit  son  linge  a  blanchir  ;  je  blanchirais  le  votre  une  autre  fois").  The 
reference  was  to  some  poems  which  Frederick  had  submitted  to  Voltaire  for 
critical  emendation.  Frederick  used  to  excuse  all  his  own  mistakes  of  gram- 
mar and  rhetoric  by  saying,  "  We  must  leave  him  the  pleasure  of  finding 
some  fault."  But  he  was  not  magnanimous  enough  to  forgive  the  cruel  phrase 
of  Voltaire.  Its  repetition  at  court  was  one  of  the  main  causes  which  threw 
the  French  philosopher  into  disfavor.    Napoleon's  phrase  is  identical  in  spirit 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  239 

with  the  English  proverb  "  It's  an  ill  bird  that  fouls  its  own  nest,"  a  proverb 
that  was  old  even  in  the  time  of  old  John  Skelton  : 

Old  proverbe  says, 
That  byrd  ys  not  honest 
That  fyleth  his  owne  nest. 

Foetns  against  Garneshe. 

Discord,  a  harmony  not  understood.  This  definition  occurs  in  Pope's 
"Essay  on  Man,"  and  embodies  a  very  familiar  thought.  In  one  form  or 
another  it  may  be  found  in  all  literature,  ancient  as  well  as  modern.  Here 
are  a  few  illustrative  examples  : 

Quid  velit  et  possit  rerum  concordia  discors. 
(What  the  discordant  harmony  of  circumstances  would  and  could  effect.) 

Horace  :  Epistle  I.,  xii.  19. 
Discord  oft  in  music  makes  the  sweeter  lay. — Spenser. 
The  world  is  kept  in  order  by  discord,  and  every  part  of  it  is  a  more  particular  composed 
jar.     And  in  all  these  it  makes  greatly  for  the  Master's  glory  that  such  an  admirable  harmony 
should  be  produced  out  of  such  an  infinite  discord. — Feltham  :  Resolves. 
For  discords  make  the  sweetest  airs. 
And  curses  are  a  kind  of  prayers. 

Butler:  Hudibras. 
Wisely  she  knew  the  harmony  of  things. 
As  well  as  that  of  sounds,  from  discord  springs. 

Denham  :   Cooper's  Hill. 
Till  jarring  interests  of  themselves  create 
Th'  according  music  of  a  well-mixed  state. 
Such  is  the  -v^rld's  great  harmony  that  springs 
From  order,  union,  full  consent  of  things. 

Pope  :  Essay  on  Alan,  Ep.  iii.,  1.  293. 
It  is  from  contraries  that  the  harmony  of  the  world  results. — Saint-Pierrb  :  Etudes  de  la- 
Nature. 

You  had  that  action  and  counteraction  which,  in  the  natural  and  the  political  world,  from 
the  reciprocal  struggle  of  discordant  powers,  draws  out  the  harmony  of  the  universe. — 
Burke  :  Reflections  on  the  French  Revolution. 

Apropos  of  the  quotation  from  Burke,  Henry  H.  Breen,  in  his  "  Modern 
English  Literature,"  says,  "This  remarkable  thought  Alison,  the  historian, 
has  turned  to  good  account ;  it  occurs  so  often  in  his  disquisitions  that  he 
seems  to  have  made  it  the  staple  of  all  wisdom  and  the  basis  of  every  truth." 
He  might  have  said  substantially  the  same  of  Carlyle. 

Discretion  is  the  better  part  of  valor.  This  proverbial  phrase  is 
merely  a  misquotation  of  FalstafTs  phrase,  "The  better  part  of  valor  is  dis- 
cretion" {Henry  IV.,  Part  /.,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  2).  The  first  edition  of  this  play  was 
published  in  1598.  Beaumont  and  Fletcher,  in  "A  King  and  No  King"  (161 1), 
Act  iv.,  Sc.  3,  have,  "  It  showed  discretion,  the  best  part  of  valor."  But  they 
were  arrant  plagiarists  and  frequently  stole  from  Shakespeare.  The  conclu- 
sion of  Bacon's  essay  on  "  Boldness"  may  be  taken  in  illustration  of  the  senti- 
ment in  its  better  form  :  "  Boldness  is  ever  blind,  for  it  seeth  not  dangers  and 
inconveniences  ;  therefore  it  is  ill  in  counsel,  good  in  execution,"  etc.  In  its 
more  questionable  form  take  the  familiar  quatrain, — 

He  that  fights  and  runs  away 

May  turn  and  fight  another  day  ; 

But  he  that  is  in  battle  slain 

Will  never  rise  to  fight  again. 
A  curious  story  anent  the  above  quotation  is  told  in  Collet's  "  Relics  of 
Literature"  (1S20)  :  "These  lines  are  almost  universally  supposed  to  form  a 
])art  of  '  Hudibras ;'  and  so  confident  have  even  scholars  been  on  the  sub- 
ject that  in  1784  a  wager  was  made  at  Bootle's  of  twenty  to  one  that  they 
were  to  be  found  in  that  inimitable  poem.     Dodsley  was  referred  to  as  the 


240  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

arbitrator,  when  he  ridiculed  the  idea  of  consulting  him  on  the  subject,  say- 
ing, 'Every  fool  knows  they  are  in  "  Hudibras."  '  George  Selwyn,  who  was 
present,  said  to  Dodsley,  '  Pray,  sir,  will  you  be  good  enough,  then,  to  inform 
an  old  fool,  who  is  at  the  same  time  your  wise  worship's  very  humble  servant, 
in  what  canto  they  are  to  be  found  ?'  Dodsley  took  down  the  volume,  but 
he  could  not  find  the  passage  ;  the  next  day  came,  with  no  better  success  ; 
and  the  sage  bibliopole  was  obliged  to  confess  'that  a  man  might  be  ignorant 
of  the  author  of  this  well-known  couplet  without  being  absolutely  a  fool !'" 
Indeed,  the  nearest  approach  to  the  couplet  in  "  Hudibras"  is  in  Book  iii., 
Canto  3  : 

For  those  that  fly  may  fight  again, 
Which  he  can  never  do  that's  slain. 
The  sense,  of  course,  is  embodied  here.  But  then  the  sense  is  not  Butler's 
alone,  but  is  shared  by  a  long  series  of  predecessors,  dating  all  the  way  back 
to  the  Greek,  'kvr)p  h  (j)Evyuv  Kai  nu?uv  ^axvaeTai  ("  He  who  flees  will  fight 
again"),  which  is  ascribed  to  Menander.  In  its  Latin  form,  "  Qui  fugiebat, 
rursus  proeliabitur,"  it  is  quoted  by  Tertullian  in  his  book  on  "  Persecution" 
(ch.  X.),  which  contains  an  answer  in  the  negative  to  the  question  of  his  friend 
Fabius,  "  Is  it  right  to  avoid  persecution  by  flight  or  bribery  ?"  A  paraphrase 
of  this  imputed  saying  of  Menander's  is  found  in  Archilochus,  Fragment  6, 
quoted  by  Plutarch  in  "  Customs  of  the  Lacedaemonians."  It  has  been  thus 
translated : 

Let  who  will  boast  their  courage  in  the  field, 
I  find  but  little  safety  from  my  shield. 
Nature's,  not  honor's,  law  wt  must  obey  : 
This  made  me  cast  my  useless  shield  away. 
And  by  a  prudent  flight  and  cunning  save 
A  life,  which  valor  could  not,  from  the  grave. 
A  better  buckler  I  can  soon  regain ; 
But  who  can  get  another  life  again? 
In  one  form  or  another  the  idea  constantly  reappears  in  literature, — viz. : 
That  same  man  that  runnith  awaie 
Male  again  fight  an  other  daie. 

Erasmus  :  Apotheg^ns ,  1542  (translated  by  Udall). 
Souvent  celuy  qui  demeure 

Est  cause  de  son  mechef.' 
Celuy  qui  fuit  de  bonne  heure 
Pent  corabattre  derechef. 
(Often  he  who  remains  is  the  cause  of  his  own  undoing.    He  who  flies  at  the  right  time  can 
fight  again.)  Jean  Passerat  :  Satyre  Menippie  (1594). 

Qui  fuit  peut  reveniraussi ; 
Qui  meurt,  il  n'en  est  pas  ainsi. 
(He  who  flies  can  also  return ;  but  it  is  not  so  with  him  who  dies.) 

ScARRON  (1610-1660). 

Ray,  in  his  "History  of  the  Rebellion"  (1752),  and  Goldsmith,  in  "The  Art 
of  Poetry  on  a  New  Plan"  (1761),  quote  the  quatrain,  the  first  as  it  is  given 
above,  the  second  in  the  slightly  different  form, — 

For  he  who  fights  and  runs  away 

May  live  to  fight  another  day  ; 

But  he  who  is  in  battle  slain 

Can  never  rise  and  fight  again. 

But  the  authorship  is  unknown. 

Distance  lends  enchantment  to  the  vie-wr.  This  familiar  expression 
occurs  at  the  opening  of  Campbell's  "  Pleasures  of  Hope  :" 

Why  to  yon  mountain  turns  the  musing  eye. 
Whose  sunbright  summit  mingles  with  the  sky? 
'Tis  distance  lends  enchantment  to  the  view 
And  robes  the  mountain  in  its  azure  hue. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  241 

It  was  Byron  who  first  asked  whether  the  origin  of  this  couplet  was  not  to  be 
found  in  Dyer's  "  Grongar  Hill :" 

As  yon  summits,  soft  and  fair, 

Clad  in  colors  of  the  air. 

Which,  to  those  who  journey  near. 

Barren,  brown,  and  rough  appear. 

But,  indeed,  the  idea  may  be  traced  through  a  succession  of  poets  all  the  way 
back  to  Diogenes  Laertius :  "  The  mountains,  too,  at  a  distance  appear  airy 
masses  and  smooth,  but  when  beheld  close  they  are  rough"  i^Pyrrho).  Here 
are  a  few  of  the  intermediate  links  : 

As  distant  prospects  please  us,  but  when  near 

We  find  but  desert  rocks  and  fleeting  air. 

Garth  :   The  Dispensatory,  Canto  iii. 

We're  charmed  with  distant  views  of  happiness, 
I5ut  near  approaches  make  the  prospect  less. 

Yalden  :  Against  Snjoyment. 

Love  is  like  a  landscape,  which  doth  stand 
Smooth  at  a  distance,  rough  at  hand. 

Robert  Hegge  :  On  Love. 

A  goodly  prospect,  tempting  to  the  view ; 
The  height  delights  us,  and  the  mountain-top 
Looks  beautiful  because  'tis  nigh  to  heaven. 

Otway  :   Venice  Preserved. 

There  is  also  a  passage  in  Collins's  "  Ode  to  the  Passions"  which  ascribes  to 
sound  the  effect  attributed  by  Campbell  to  sight : 

Pale  Melancholy  sat  apart. 

And  from  her  wild  sequestered  seat, 

In  notes  by  distance  made  more  sweet. 

Poured  through  the  mellow  horn  her  pensive  soul. 

Divide  et  impera  (L.,  "  Divide  and  rule," — i.e.,  create  dissensions  among 
your  subjects,  set  one  against  the  other,  and  you  assure  yourself  the  sovereignty). 
This  was  the  motto  of  Louis  XI. 

When  it  was  demanded  by  the  lords  and  commons  what  might  be  a  principal  motive  for 
them  to  have  good  success  in  Parliament,  it  was  answered,  "  Eritis  insuperabiles,  si  fueritis 
inseparabiles.  Explosum  est  illud  diverbium :  divide  et  impera,  cum  radix  et  vertex  imperii  in 
obedientium  consensu  rata  sunt"  ["  You  will  be  insuperable  if  you  are  inseparable.  That  maxim 
is  exploded,  divide  and  rule,  for  the  very  root  and  essence  of  government  lies  in  the  consent 
of  the  obedient"].— Coke:  Institutes,  iv.  35. 

Divide  and  rule,  the  politician  cries  ; 
Unite  and  lead,  is  watchword  of  the  wise. 

Goethh:  Spriichwdrtlich. 

Divine  right  of  kings,  specifically,  the  doctrine  of  the  Stuarts  and  their 
legal  or  clerical  advisers,  that  the  king  was  such  by  special  dispensation  of 
Providence,  and  that  treason  or  disloyalty  was  consequently  an  offence  not 
only  against  him  but  against  God  Almighty.  This,  of  course,  is  merely  a 
survival  of  the  primeval  superstition  that  kings  were  gods.  The  principle 
as  enunciated  by  the  Stuarts  was  never  generally  acknowledged  by  English- 
men. James  I.  found  it  a  useful  argument  to  supplement  a  notorious  defect 
of  hereditary  title,  which  he  was  unwilling  to  strengthen  by  an  acknowledg- 
ment that  he  owed  his  throne  to  election  by  the  nation.  He  found  the  Tory 
or  conservative  element  eager  to  endorse  him  in  his  most  extravagant  claims. 
Indeed,  the  Tudors  had  already  found  the  loyalty  of  this  class  quite  willing 
to  tolerate  the  fiction  that  they  were  the  Lord's  anointed.  But  there  had 
always  been  a  robust  undercurrent  of  feeling,  in  the  middle  classes  especially, 
-La  21 


242  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

which  resisted  the  encroachments  of  royalty  and  upheld  the  right  of  revolu- 
tion in  extreme  cases.  The  Plantagenets  had  never  gone  so  far  as  the  Tudors, 
and  the  Tudors  had  never  gone  so  far  as  the  Stuarts.  The  extreme  doctrine 
of  divine  right  which  Shakespeare  puts  into  the  mouth  of  Richard  11.  is  an 
anachronism  : 

Not  all  the  waters  in  the  wide  rough  sea 

Can  wash  the  balm  from  an  anointed  king; 

The  breath  of  worldly  men  cannot  depose 

The  deputy  elected  by  the  Lord. 

These  words  belong  not  to  the  fourteenth  century,  but  in  germ,  perhaps,  to 
the  closing  years  of  the  sixteenth  and  the  commencement  of  the  seventeenth. 
It  is  noticeable  also  that  it  is  the  mere  fact  of  kingship,  and  not  hereditary 
right,  which  is  insisted  upon.  So,  in  "  Hamlet,"  the  usurper  and  murderer, 
Claudius,  holds  himself  secure,  for  that 

There's  such  divinity  doth  hedge  a  king, 
That  treason  can  but  peep  to  what  it  would. 

••  Act  iv.,  Sc.  s. 

Shakespeare,  writing  in  these  instances  as  a  politician  rather  than  as  a  poet, 
could  not  identify  divine  right  with  hereditary  title,  in  which  both  Elizabeth 
and  James  I.  were  lacking.  The  revolutions  against  Charles  I.  and  James  II. 
were  the  practical  answer  to  their  claims,  and  with  the  final  expulsion  of  the 
Stuarts,  and  the  establishment  of  a  Whig  king  in  William  III.,  the  doctrine 
died  a  natural  death.  In  the  reign  of  Queen  Anne  we  find  it  turned  into 
ridicule  by  Pope  in  the  well-known  line,  which  sums  up  all  its  absurdity  with 
rare  epigrammatic  force, — 

The  right  divine  of  kings  to  govern  wrong. 

Dunciad,  Book  iv.,  1.  i88. 

The  beginnings  of  this  claim  to  Divine  Right  go  back  ages  beyond  the  "  Zeus-nurtured 
kings"  of  Homer,  and  spring  almost  undoubtedly  from  the  well-nigh  universal  custom  of 
ancestor-worship.  Modern  anthropology  has  made  it  quite  clear  to  us  that  all  over  the 
world,  whatever  great  gods  may  be  worshipped  as  well,  the  smaller  gods  of  every  tribe  and 
every  family  are  its  own  dead  ancestors.  But  while  each  family  sacrifices  to  its  particular 
predecessors, — the  house-father  offering  up  gifts  on  behalf  of  the  household  to  his  own  father 
and  remoter  progenitors, — the  tribe  as  a  whole  sacrifices  to  the  ghosts  of  its  deceased  kings  ; 
and  the  living  king,  their  descendant  and  representative,  becomes  accordingly  the  natural 
priest  of  this  common  tribal  worship.  ...  '1  he  belief  in  the  quasi-divine  nature  of  kings 
dies  out  very  slowly.  It  is  Christianized  and  transformed,  but  not  destroyed.  The  King  of 
Obbo,who  calls  his  people  together  in  times  of  drought,  and  demands  goats  and  com  of  them 
if  they  want  him  to  mend  the  weather — "  No  goats,  no  rain  :  that's  our  compact,"  says  his 
majesty, — the  King  of  Obbo  has  his  final  counterpart  in  the  Stuart  belief  that  bad  seasons 
fell  upon  the  people  as  a  punishment  for  their  participation  in  the  sin  of  rebellion.  The 
magical  power  of  early  chieftains  over  demons  and  diseases  survived  late  in  modern  England 
in  the  practice  of  touching  for  king's  evil.  The  sacred  person  of  the  sovereign  remains 
sacred  to  this  day  before  the  English  law.  And  if  the  Egj'ptians  and  Peruvians  held  their 
Pharaohs  or  their  Incas  to  be  incarnate  deities,  it  was  in  the  age  of  Voltaire  himself  that 
Bossuet  dared  distinctly  to  say,  "Kings  are  gods,  and  share  in  a  degree  the  divine  inde- 
pendence." These  are  not  mere  scraps  and  tags  of  courtly  adulation,  as  one  is  at  first 
tempted  nowadays  to  believe  :  the  closer  one  looks  at  them,  the  more  clearly  does  one  see 
that  they  are  actually  survivals  of  thought  and  feeling  from  the  days  when  the  king  was  in 
reality  the  living  god,  and  the  god  was  in  reality  the  dead  king. — Grant  Allen,  in  Cornhill 
Magazine . 

Doctors  disagree.     Pope's  lines  are  well  known, — 

Who  shall  decide  when  doctors  disagree. 
And  soundest  casuists  doubt  like  you  and  me  ? 

Moral  Essays,  Ep.  iii. 

In  the  first  line  Pope  is  simply  versifying  a  common  proverb.  Cuthbert  Bede 
writes  to  Notes  and  Queries  (March  lo,  1883),  "  In  a  manuscript  on  a  theologi- 
cal subject,  apparently  written  about  a  century  ago,  I  came  upon  another  ver- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  243 

sion  of  this  proverbial  saying.     Tlie  writer  was  treating  of  the  various  views 
of  commentators  on  a  certain  subject,  and  then  says,  '  This  is  a  case 

When  Doctors  disagree 

Then  are  Disciples  free.' 

Perhaps  this  variation  may  be  worth  noting." 

Dog.  Give  a  dog  an  ill  name  and  hang  him.  This  seems  to  be  a 
more  modern  version  of  the  proverb  given  by  Ray  in  the  form,  "  He  that 
would  hang  his  dog  gives  out  first  that  he  is  mad,"  and  explained  thus :  "  He 
that  is  about  to  do  anything  disingenuous,  unworthy,  and  of  evil  fame  first 
bethinks  him  of  some  plausiWe  pretence."  The  Spanish  proverb  corresponds 
exactly  with  Ray's,  "  Quien  a  su  perro  quiere  matar  rabia  le  ha  de  levantar  ;" 
and  so  does  the  Italian  "  Qui  vuol  ammazar  il  sue  cane,  basta  che  dica  ch'  e 
arrabbiato,"  and  the  French  "  Qui  veut  noyer  son  chien,  I'accuse  de  la  rage." 
The  German  "  Wenn  man  den  Hund  schlagen  will,  findet  man  bald  ein 
Stecken"  has  its  exact  equivalent  in  that  other  English  proverb,  "  It  is  easy 
to  find  a  stick  if  you  want  to  beat  a  dog."  But  the  saying  which  heads  this 
article  has  modified  its  meaning  into  "  As  well  hang  a  dog  as  give  him  a  bad 
name,"  and,  indeed,  is  not  unknown  in  that  verbal  dress.  The  same  sentiment 
reappears  in  the  English  "  He  that  hath  an  ill  name  is  half  hanged,"  and  the 
more  daring  French  "  Rumor  hangs  the  man"  {"  Le  bruit  pend  I'homme"). 

Dog,  The  under.  The  phrase  "  The  under  dog  in  the  fight"  seems  to 
be  a  modern  one,  and  may  have  been  derived  from  the  once  well-known  song 
by  David  Barker,  which  ran  as  follows  : 

The  Under  Dog  in  the  Fight. 

1  know  that  the  world,  that  the  great  big  world. 

From  the  peasant  up  to  the  king, 
Has  a  different  tale  from  the  tale  I  tell. 

And  a  different  song  to  sing. 

But  for  me, — and  I  care  not  a  single  fig 

If  they  say  I  am  wrong  or  am  right, — 
I  shall  always  go  in  for  the  weaker  dog. 

For  the  under  dog  in  the  fight. 

I  know  that  the  world,  that  the  great  big  world. 

Will  never  a  moment  stop 
To  see  which  dog  may  be  in  the  fault. 

But  will  shout  for  the  dog  on  top. 

But  for  me,  I  shall  never  pause  to  ask 

Which  dog  may  be  in  the  right. 
For  my  heart  will  beat,  while  it  beats  at  all. 

For  the  under  dog  in  the  fight. 

Perchance  what  I've  said  I  had  better  not  said. 

Or  'twere  better  I'd  said  it  incog.  ; 
But  with  heart  and  with  glass  filled  chock  to  the  brim. 

Here  is  luck  to  the  under  dog  ! 

The  song,  it  will  be  seen,  though  excellent  in  sentiment,  is  hardly  what  one 
would  call  a  poetical  gem.  Yet  it  is  worth  saving  as  a  curiosity  and  as  the 
presumable  original  of  a  common  phrase.  Of  course  the  song  might  have 
been  written  to  fit  the  phrase.  An  edition  of  Mr.  Barker's  poems  was  pub- 
lished in  1876  by  Samuel  S.  Smith  &  Son,  of  Bangor,  Maine. 

Dolce  far  niente.  This  phrase,  frequent  enough  in  English  literature, 
does  not  seem  to  occur  in  any  Italian  author  of  note.  Howells  says  that  he 
found  it  current  among  Neapolitan  lazzaroni,  but  it  is  not  included  in  any  col- 


244  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

lection  of  Italian  proverbial  sayings.  There  are  several  Latin  expressions 
from  which  it  may  be  a  more  or  less  remote  descendant.     Thus  : 

Illud  jucundum  nil  agere  ("  That  pleasant  condition  of  doing  nothing"). — Pliny's  Letters, 
viii.  9. 

Dulce  est  desipere  in  loco  ("  It  is  agreeable  to  revel  on  a  fit  occasion"). — Horace  :  Odes. 

A  writer  in  the  English  Notes  and  Queries  (fifth  series,  vol.  x.  p.  448)  suggests 
that  the  phrase  is  an  incorrect  form  for  "  II  dolce  non  far  niente," — or,  "  The 
amiable  man  does  nothing," — which,  though  not  convincing,  is  possible.  The 
proverbial  literature  of  every  country  is  full  of  sayings  in  which  amiability  is 
rightly  classed  among  the  vices. 

Dollar  and  Dollar-mark.  Dollar,  the  word  and  the  thing,  was  officially 
adopted  into  the  coinage  of  the  United  States  by  the  resolution  of  Congress 
passed  on  July  6,  1785,  which  provided  that  the  money  unit  of  the  United 
States  shall  be  a  dollar.  But  Uncle  Sam  may  coin  the  thing,  he  did  not  coin 
the  name.  It  is  not  a  distinctive  American  word.  One  may  find  it  duly 
entered  in  Bailey's  Dictionary  of  1745.  Nay,  it  may  be  traced  farther  back 
than  Bailey's  time.  Shakespeare  uses  it  repeatedly.  In  "  Macbeth,"  for 
example,  are  these  lines  : 

Nor  would  we  deign  him  burial  of  his  men 

Till  he  disbursed,  at  St.  Colme'slnch, 

Ten  thousand  dollars  to  our  general  use. 

In  Shakespeare's  time  there  was  no  English  coin  known  as  a  dollar. 
Numismatists  are  aware  that  an  English  dollar  was  struck  off  for  the  first  and 
the  last  time  in  1804.  It  is  known  as  the  Bank  of  England  dollar.  Where, 
then,  did  Shakespeare  find  the  word  dollar  ?  It  is  merely  a  corruption  of  the 
German  thaler.  That,  in  its  turn,  originally  meant  something  belonging  to  or 
coming  from  a  vale  or  valley, — the  firSt  thalers  having  been  coined  about  i486 
in  the  Bohemian  valley  of  Joachimsthal.  They  corresponded  quite  closely 
to  the  modern  American  dollar.  Under  Charles  V.,  Emperor  of  Germany, 
King  of  Spain,  and  Lord  of  Spanish  America,  the  German  thaler  became  the 
coin  of  the  world. 

The  origin  of  the  dollar-mark  is  not  quite  so  easy  of  solution.  Indeed,  it 
cannot  be  said  that  it  has  yet  been  satisfactorily  solved.  Many  explanations 
have  been  offered.  All  are  plausible,  none  are  convincing.  The  most  usual 
one  claims  that  the  mark  comes  from  the  letters  U.  S.,  which  used  to  be  pre- 
fixed to  the  Federal  currency,  and  which  afterwards  in  the  hurry  of  writing 
were  run  into  each  other.  Another  explanation  makes  it  a  corrupted  form 
of  the  notation  |,  denoting  a  piece  of  eight  reals,  or,  as  the  dollar  was  formerly 
called,  a  piece  of  eight.  A  more  learned  and  ingenious  explanation  traces  the 
dollar-mark  all  the  way  back  to  primeval  antiquity.  From  prehistoric  times 
pillars  have  been  used  to  signify  strength  and  sovereignty.  In  ancient  Tyre 
they  were  reverenced  as  sacred  symbols.  Tyrian  coins  bore  two  pillars  as 
supporters  of  the  general  device.  When  Meleanthus,  the  Tyrian  explorer, 
founded  the  city  known  in  modern  times  as  Cadiz,  he  planted  there  the  Tyrian 
symbols  of  sovereignty,  and  built  over  them  a  temple  to  Hercules.  In  due 
course  as  Cadiz  gained  power  and  wealth  the  pillars  of  Hercules  became  her 
metropolitan  emblem,  and  the  name  acquired  further  fame  from  being  given  to 
the  two  mountains  that  stand  at  the  entrance  to  the  Mediterranean. 

When  Charles  V.  was  crowned  Emperor  of  Germany  he  incorporated  the 
Imperial  and  Spanish  arms,  the  pillars  of  Hercules  being  made  supporters  of 
the  device.  The  standard  piastre  coined  in  the  Imperial  mint  at  Seville  gained 
the  name  of  "  colonnato,"  or  "  pillar  piece,"  from  the  pillars  prominent  in  its 
device,  which  were  entwined  with  a  scroll.  The  representation  of  the  pillars 
so  entwined  grew  in  time  to  be  the  accepted  symbol  of  the  coin.     Thus  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  245 

dollar-mark  is  a  resuscitation  of  an  old  Spanish  symbol,  and  that  in  its 
turn  was  the  revival  of  an  older  custom.  For  though  the  Tyrians  were  not 
the  first  to  coin  money,  they  were  foremost  in  giving  it  general  circulation  ; 
their  coinage  was  the  currency  of  the  world,  and  its  device  the  recognized 
money  symbol.  The  pillar  pieces  of  Charles  V.  were  the  legitimate  descend- 
ants of  the  pillar  pieces  of  the  Tyrians.  Another  curious,  though  accidental, 
analogy  between  the  Spanish  and  the  American  dollar  is  suggested  by  the 
name  whicii  the  former  gave  to  their  coin, — piastre.  Now,  this  means  a  plaster, 
and  the  word  plaster  or  shinplaster  is  a  well-known  slang  term  for  a  paper 
dollar,  used  especially  during  the  Revolutionary  and  civil  wars. 

Dollar  wotild  go  further  in  those  days.  When  William  M.  Evarts 
was  Secretary  of  State  he  accompanied  Lord  Coleridge  on  an  excursion  to 
Mount  Vernon.  Coleridge  remarked  that  he  had  heard  it  said  that  Washing- 
ton, standing  on  the  lawn,  could  throw  a  dollar  clear  across  the  Potomac.  Mr. 
Evarts  explained  that  a  dollar  would  go  further  in  those  days  than  now. 
Shirley  Brooks,  however,  had  anticipated  Evarts,  in  the  followingy<?«  d'esprit: 

It  seems  that  the  Scots 
Turn  out  much  better  shots 
At  long  distance  than  most  of  the  Englishmen  are : 
But  this  we  all  knew 
That  a  Scotchman  could  do, — 
Make  a  small  piece  of  metal  go  awfully  far. 

Shirley  Brooks  :  Homage  to  the  Scotch  Rifles,  by  a 
Spiteful  Competitor. 

But  substantially  the  same  jest  was  made  almost  one  hundred  years  before  by 
Foote.  Garrick  and  Foote  were  leaving  the  Bedford  coffee-house  together, 
when  Garrick  dropped  a  guinea.  "  Where  can  it  have  gone  ?"  said  Foote, 
after  they  had  hunted  for  it  awhile.  "Gone  to  the  devil,  I  think,"  said  Gar- 
rick, impatiently.  "Well  said,  David  !"  cried  Foote  ;  "let  you  alone  for 
making  a  guinea  go  further  than  anybody  else  !"  Foote  was  continually  gird- 
ing at  Garrick  for  his  parsimony, — unjustly,  as  Johnson  insisted.  "  Garrick," 
said  Foote,  "walked  out  with  the  intention  of  doing  a  generous  action,  but, 
turning  the  corner  of  a  street,  he  met  the  ghost  of  a  halfpenny,  which 
frightened  him."  When  once  asked  how  he  could  place  Garrick's  bust  on 
his  bureau,  Foote  replied,  "  I  allow  him  to  be  so  near  my  gold  because  he  has 
no  hands." 

Don't  see  it.  In  Stone's  "  Life  of  Sir  William  Johnson,"  ii.  337,  it  is 
stated  that  a  distinguished  Mohawk  Indian,  Abraham,  at  the  treaty  at  Fort 
Stanwix,  in  1770,  said  to  Sir  William,  "You  told  us  that  we  should  pass  our 
time  in  peace,  and  travel  in  security  ;  that  trade  should  flourish,  and  goods 
abound,  and  that  they  should  be  sold  to  us  cheap.  This  would  have  endeared 
all  the  English  to  us  ;  but  we  do  not  see  it."  This  is  apparently  the  first  use  of 
this  now  familiar  phrase. 

Double  entendre,  a  word  or  phrase  with  a  double  meaning,  one  of  which 
is  indelicate  or  at  least  obscure.  The  expression  has  been  coined  out  of  two 
French  words,  double,  "  double,"  and  entendre,  "  to  hear."  But  it  is  not  French, 
for  it  is  unknown  in  France,  and  sounds  as  absurd  to  a  French  ear  as  the  literal 
"double  to  hear"  would  to  an  English  ear.  The  nearest  Gallic  equivalent 
would  be  itn  mot  ^  doithle  etttente,  "  a  word  with  a  double  meaning  ;"  but  even 
that  would  not  have  the  ulterior  sense  which  we  have  read  into  the  manu- 
factured phrase.  And  although  the  expression  has  been  domesticated  ni 
English,  has  been  used  by  good  writers,  and  may  be  found  in  good  dictionaries, 
it  is  so  gross  a  blunder  that  one  cannot  help  hoping  the  common  usage  which 
has  sanctioned  it  so  far  will  eventually  yield  to  reason  and  common  sense. 
21* 


246  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Doubt.    Theodore  Parker  used  to  say,  "  The  credo  of  a  fool  is  not  worth 
the  abnego  or  dubito  of  a  man."     The  same  thought  occurs  in  Tennyson  : 
There  lives  more  truth  in  honest  doubt. 
Believe  me,  than  in  half  the  creeds. 

In  Memoriam,  xcvi.  st.  3. 

Doughfaces.  A  term  of  contempt  applied  by  the  Abolitionists  to  the 
Northern  Democrats  who  sympathized  with  slavery.  It  was  afterwards 
merged  into  the  more  expressive  term  "  Copperheads."  In  the  "  Memoirs  of 
Thurlow  Weed,"  ii.  427,  it  is  stated  that  this  term  was  originally  applied  to 
that  branch  of  the  Democracy  who  lived  in  the  North  and  yet  approved 
of  the  caucus  measure  passed  in  1838  which  required  all  bills  pertaining  to 
the  holding  of  slaves  to  be  laid  on  the  table  without  debate.  This  measure 
identified  the  party  as  it  then  existed  with  the  slave-holding  interest. 

John  Randolph  is  also  quoted  as  having  called  the  "  baser  sort  of  Northern 
demagogues"  doughfaces.  Randolph,  however,  spelled  the  word  d-o-e,  in 
allusion  to  the  timid  animal  that  shrinks  from  seeing  its  own  face  in  the 
water.  {Memorial  of  George  Bradbtirn,  Boston,  1883.) 

Downing  Street,  famous  in  London  as  the  street  whereon  stands  the  official 
residence  of  the  First  Lord  of  the  Treasury,  was,  strangely  enough,  named 
after  a  native  American.  George  Downing,  born  in  Boston,  Massachusetts,  in 
1624,  graduated  at  Harvard  College  in  1642,  and  soon  after  went  to  England 
and  became  chaplain  to  Okey's  regiment  of  the  Parliamentary  army.  Oliver 
Cromwell,  taking  a  fancy  to  the  young  man,  made  him  resident  minister  at  the 
Hague,  where  he  ingratiated  himself  with  the  exiled  Stuarts.  After  the 
Restoration,  he  was  made  a  baronet  in  1663,  and  in  1667  Secretary  to  the 
Treasury,  building  himself  a  fine  house  in  what  Strype  calls  a  "  pretty  open 
place,  having  a  pleasant  prospect  into  St.  James's  Park,  with  a  Tarras-walk." 
He  subsequently  built  other  houses  there,  and  thus  made  the  street,  which  is 
only  a  New  York  "block"  in  length.  In  1684  he  died,  and  his  Isaronetcy 
expired  with  his  grandson  in  1764.  Lee,  Lord  Lichfield,  bought  one  of 
Downing's  houses,  and  forfeited  it  to  the  crown  when  he  fled  from  England 
with  James  II.  in  1688.  George  I.  gave  it  to  the  Hanoverian  minister.  Baron 
Bothmar,  for  life,  and  on  the  latter's  death  George  II.  offered  it  to  Sir  Robert 
Walpole,  who  would  accept  it  only  as  an  official  residence,  to  be  forever 
attached  to  the  office  of  First  Lord  of  the  Treasury.  As  the  First  Lord  of 
the  Treasury  has  usually  been  Prime  Minister  as  well.  Downing  Street  is 
often  figuratively  spoken  of  as  the  English  government.  Thus,  Hillard  says, 
"  Let  but  a  hand  of  violence  be  laid  upon  an  English  subject,  and  the  great 
British  lion  which  lies  couchant  in  Downing  Street  begins  to  utter  menacing 
growls  and  shake  his  invisible  locks." 

Draw.  This  word,  from  its  multiplicity  of  meanings,  has  been  a  boon  to 
the  punster.  Thus,  when  Charles  Mathews  was  asked  what  he  was  going  to 
do  with  his  son,  who  had  been  destined  for  an  architect,  "  Why,"  answered 
the  comedian,  "he  is  going  to  draw  houses,  like  his  father."  A  similar  joke, 
credited  to  various  wags,  represents  each  as  asked,  when  informed  that  some 
one  drew  very  well,  "  Can  he  draw  an  inference  ?"  Below  a  few  more  instances 
are  collated : 

I  could  draw  on  wood  at  a  very  tender  age.  When  a  mere  child  I  once  drew  a  small  cart- 
load of  turnips  ovar  a  wooden  bridge.  The  people  of  the  village  noticed  me.  I  drew  their 
attention. — C.  F.  Brownb  :  Artetnus  Ward's  Lecture. 

To  A  Rich  Lady. 

I  will  not  ask  if  thou  canst  touch 

The  tuneful  ivory  key  : 
Those  silent  notes  of  thine  are  such 

As  quite  suffice  for  me. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  247 

I'll  make  no  question  if  thy  skill 

The  pencil  comprehends : 
Enough  for  me,  love,  if  thou  still 

Canst  draw — thy  dividends. 

Punch. 

"  You  didn't  know  I  drew  ?     I  learnt  at  school." 

"  Perhaps  you  only  learnt  to  draw  your  sword?" 

"  Why,  that  I  can,  of  course — and  also  corks — 

And  covers — haw  !  haw !  haw  !     But  what  I  mean. 

Fortification — haw  !  in  Indian  ink. 

That  sort  of  thing — and  though  I  draw  it  mild. 

Yet  that — haw  !  haw  ! — that  may  be  called  my  forte." 

"  Oh  fie  !  for  shame  !  where  do  you  think  you'll  go 

For  making  such  a  heap  of  foolish  puns?" 

"  Why,  to  the  Punjaub,  I  should  think — haw  !  haw  ! 

That  sort  of  job,  you  know,  would  suit  me  best." 

C.  J.  Cayley:  Las  A!/or£-as. 

Droit  de  grenouille.  When  the  lord  in  France  had  a  son  and  heir  born, 
the  peasants  were  obliged  to  watch  all  night  beating  the  ponds,  so  that  the 
frogs  should  not  disturb  the  baby  ;  this  was  called  droit  de  silence  des  gre7touilles. 
Dickens  makes  mention  of  it  in  his  "Tale  of  Two  Cities,"  where  the  dying 
peasant-boy  denounces  the  nobles  :  "  You  know,  doctor,  that  it  is  among  the 
rights  of  these  nobles  to  harness  us  common  dogs  to  carts  and  drive  us.  .  .  . 
You  know  that  it  is  among  their  rights  to  keep  us  in  their  grounds  all  night, 
quieting  the  frogs,  in  order  that  their  noble  sleep  may  not  be  disturbed.  They 
kept  him  out  in  the  unwholesome  mists  at  night,  and  ordered  him  back  into  his 
harness  in  the  day." 

Ducks  and  drakes  is,  in  the  words  of  an  old  author  quoted  by  Brand, 
"a  kind  of  sport  or  play  with  an  oister-shell  or  stone  thrown  into  the  water, 
and  making  circles  yer  it  sinke."  If  the  stone  emerges  once  it  is  a  duck,  and 
increases  in  the  following  order  : 

I,  2,  A  duck  and  a  drake, 

3  And  a  halfpenny  cake, 

4  And  a  penny  to  pay  the  old  baker  ; 

5  A  hop  and  a  scotch 
Is  another  notch, 

6  Slitherum,  slatherum,  take  her. 

From  this  game  probably  originated  the  phrase  "making  ducks  and  drakes 
with  one's  money," — i.e.,  throwing  it  away  heedlessly.  An  early  instance  of 
the  use  of  the  phrase  may  be  found  in  Strode's  "Floating  Island,"  Sig.  C.  iv. 
Butler,  in  "  Hudibras"  (Canto  iii.  line  30),  makes  it  one  of  the  important  quali- 
fications of  his  conjurer  to  tell 

What  figured  slates  are  best  to  make 

On  wat'ry  surface  duck  or  drake. 

A  somewhat  similar  game  was  known  among  the  Romans,  and  is  alluded  to 
by  Minucius  Felix  and  other  ancient  writers. 

I  remember  in  Queen  Elizabeth's  time  a  wealthy  citizen  of  London  left  his  son  a  mighty 
estate  in  money,  who,  imagining  he  should  never  be  able  to  spend  it,  would  usually  make 
"  ducks  and  drakes"  in  the  Thames  with  twelve-pences,  as  boys  are  wont  to  do  with  tile- 
sherds  and  oyster-shells.  And  in  the  end  he  grew  to  that  e-xtreme  want  that  he  was  fain  to  beg 
or  borrow  sixpence  ;  having  many  times  no  more  shoes  than  feet,  and  sometimes  "  more  feet 
than  shoes,"'  as  the  beggar  said  in  the  comedy. — Henry  Peacham  :  Tke  IVorth  of  a  Fenny  ; 
or,  A  Caution  to  Keep  Money,  London,  1647. 

Dude  (feminine,  Dudine  or  Dudette),  in  American  slang,  a  swell  or* 
masher,  the  personification  of  clothes  and  nothing  else.  The  term  probably 
arose  from  the  colloquial  English  duds  or  dudes  (Scotch  duddies),  meaning 
clothes.  Thus,  Thackeray  says,  "  Her  dresses  were  wonderful,  her  bonnets 
marvellous.     Few  women  could  boast  such  dudes."     Shakespeare,  in  "  The 


248  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Merry  Wives  of  Windsor,"  Act  iii.,  Sc.  5,  speaks  of  a  "bucke  of  dudes," — i.e., 
a  bucket-shaped  basket  for  carrying  clothes   to  wash.     A  correspondent  of 
the  New  York  Evening  Post  humorously  suggests  a  still  more  ancient  origin  : 
"In  the  'Eunuchus'  of  Terence,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  4,  1.  15,  it  is  written, — 
Ita  visus  est 
Dudum  quia  varia  veste  exomatus  fuit, — 

which  literally  translated  into  English  would  read,  '  He  seemed  a  dude, 
because  he  was  decked  out  in  a  vest  of  many  colors.'"  In  sober  fact,  the 
earliest  literary  appearance  of  the  word  dud  or  dude  as  applied  to  a  person  is 
in  Putnam's  Magazine  for  February,  1S76  :  "Think  of  her.'  I  think  she  is 
dressed  like  a  dud ;  can't  say  how  she  would  look  in  the  costume  of  the  pres- 
ent century."  This  would  seem  to  dispose  of  the  claims  put  forward  by  the 
friends  of  Mr.  Hermann  Oelrichs,  of  New  York,  that  one  day  sitting  at  the 
Union  Club  window  he  saw  a  much  overdressed  youth  with  a  mincing  gait 
parading  along  Fifth  Avenue,  whereupon  one  of  the  clubmen  in  concert  with 
Mr.  Oelrichs  began  humming  an  accompaniment  to  the  step,  thus  :  "  Du  da, 
de,  du-du,  du,  de,  du."  "That's  good  !"  said  Mr.  Oelrichs;  "it  ought  to  be 
called  a  dude."     And  dude  it  has  been  called  ever  since. 

Census  Enumerator . — Have  you  any  children  ? 

Old  Plainsman. —Xe.^:  two. 

Census  Enumerator. — Sons  or  daughters  ? 

Old  Plainsman. — Neither,  confound  'era  !     They're  both  duA&s.  —  Ckicag-o  Light. 

Dumb  Ox,  or  Sicilian  Ox,  or  Great  Dumb  Sicilian  Ox,  a  nickname 
given  to  St.  Thomas  Aquinas  by  his  companions  in  the  monastery  at  Cologne, 
because  of  his  Pythagorean  taciturnity,  his  sleek  corpulence,  and  his  plodding 
industry.  His  master,  Albertus  Magnus,  not  knowing  himself  what  to  think, 
took  occasion  one  day  before  a  large  assemblage  to  interrogate  him  on  very 
profound  questions,  to  which  the  disciple  replied  with  so  penetrating  a  sagacity 
that  Albert  turned  towards  the  youths  who  surrounded  his  chair,  and  said, 
y  You  call  brother  Thomas  a  '  dumb  ox,'  but  be  assured  that  one  day  the  noise 
'of  his  doctrines  will  be  heard  all  over  the  world." 

Luci/er.  Of  a  truth  it  almost  makes  me  laugh 
To  see  men  leaving  the  golden  grain. 
To  gather  in  piles  the  pitiful  chaff 
That  old  Peter  Lombard  thrashed  with  his  brain. 
To  have  it  caught  up  and  tossed  again 
On  the  horns  of  the  Dumb  Ox  of  Cologne. 

Longfellow  :  Golden  Legend. 
More  complimentary  titles  which  the  saint  won  in  later  days,  or  posthumously, 
were  Doctor  Angelicus  ("Angelic  Doctor"),  Doctor  Mirabilis  ("Wonderful 
Doctor"),  the  Father  of  Moral  Philosophy,  the  Fifth  Doctor  of  the  Church, 
and  the  Second  Augustine, — all  tributes  to  his  learning,  eloquence,  and  logic. 

Dun  is  a  word  now  whose  meaning  is  known  to  every  one  who  understands 
the  English  language.  About  the  beginning  of  the  century  a  constable  in 
England  named  John  Dun  became  celebrated  as  a  first-class  collector  of  bad 
accounts.  When  others  would  fail  to  collect  a  bad  debt.  Dun  would  be  sure 
to  get  it  out  of  the  debtor.  It  soon  passed  into  a  current  phrase  that  when  a 
person  owed  money  and  did  not  pay  when  asked,  he  would  have  to  be 
"  Dunned."  Hence  it  soon  became  common  in  such  cases  to  say,  "  You  will 
have  to  Dun  So-and-so  if  you  wish  to  collect  your  money." 

Dunmow  Flitch.  At  the  church  of  Dunmow,  in  Essex  County,  England, 
a  flitch  of  bacon  used  to  be  given  to  any  married  couple  who  after  a  twelve- 
month of  matrimony  would  come  forward  and  make  oath  that  during  that 
time  they  had  lived  in  perfect  harmony  and  fidelity.  The  origin  of  the  custom 
is  lost  in  the  mists  of  antiquity.     By  some  it  is  dubiously  referred  to  Robert 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


249 


Fitzwalter,  a  favorite  of  King  John,  who  revived  the  Dunmow  Priory  at  the 
beginning  of  the  thirteenth  century ;  but  it  seems  quite  as  likely  that  the 
good  fathers  themselves,  rejoicing  in  their  celibacy,  instituted  the  custom  as 
a  jest  upon  their  less  fortunate  fellows.  The  earliest  recorded  case  of  the 
awarding  of  the  tlitch  is  in  1445,  when  Richard  Wright,  of  Badbury,  Norfolk, 
a  laborer,  claimed  and  obtained  it.  But  that  there  had  been  earlier  cases  of 
similar  success  is  clearly  evidenced  by  this  couplet  in  Chaucer's  "  Wife  of 
Bath  :" 

The  bacon  was  not  fet  for  them,  I  trow, 

That  some  men  have  in  Essex  at  Dunmow. 

The  custom  seems  to  have  lapsed  and  been  revived  from  time  to  time  at  con- 
siderable intervals  until  1763,  when  the  lord  of  the  manor  discountenanced  it, 
and  removed  what  were  known  as  the  "swearing-stones,"  upon  which  the 
couple  knelt  to  take  the  requisite  oaths.  In  1855,  however,  Harrison  Ains- 
worth,  the  novelist,  himself  the  author  of  a  story  called  "The  Dunmow 
Flitch,"  resolved  to  revive  the  custom,  and  a  couple  of  flitches  were  in  that 
year  given  away  with  much  burlesque  ceremony.  But  the  popular  interest 
could  not  be  reawakened,  and  though  in  1877  and  in  1880  the  flitch  was  again 
contested  for,  the  contemporary  reports  tells  us  that  "  the  attendance  was 
poor  and  the  true  joyous  spirit  was  absent."  The  custom  of  awarding  a  prize 
of  this  sort  for  wedded  faithfulness  is  not  peculiar  to  Dunmow.  For  a  cen- 
tury the  abbots  of  St.  Meleine,  in  Bretagne,  gave  the  flitch  ;  and  a  like  trophy, 
with  a  gift  of  meal  or  corn,  was  enjoined  to  be  given  by  the  charter  of  the 
manor  of  Whichenouvre,  in  Stafford,  granted  in  the  time  of  Edward  III. 
The  manors  of  Whichenouvre,  Scirescot,  Redware,  Netherton,  and  Cowler 
were  held  of  the  earls  of  Lancaster  by  Sir  Philip  de  Somerville  on  condition 
that  he  should  maintain  and  sustain  one  bacon  flyke  to  be  given  to  every  man 
or  woman  after  the  day  and  year  of  their  marriage  were  past,  provided  they 
could  subscribe  to  certain  conditions  too  long  to  reprint.  Addison  sets  forth 
the  whole  charter  in  the  Spectator,  No.  607,  October  15,  1714. 

At  Dunmow  the  form  of  the  oath  as  it  has  come  down  to  us,  evidently  re- 
cast by  a  comparatively  modern  hand,  is  as  follows  : 

You  shall  swear  by  the  custom  of  your  confession 

That  you  never  m.ide  any  nuptial  transgression. 

Since  you  were  married  to  your  wife, 

By  household  brawl  or  contentious  sirife ; 

Or  since  the  parish  clerk  said  amen 

Wished  yourself  unmarried  again; 

Or  for  a  twelvemonth  and  a  day 

Repented  not,  in  thought,  any  way; 

But  continued  true  and  in  desire 

As  when  you  joined  hands  in  holy  choir ; 

If  to  those  conditions,  without  any  fear, 

Of  your  own  accord,  you  will  freely  swear, 

A  gammon  of  bacon  you  shall  receive, 

And  bear  it  home  with  love  and  good  leave, 

For  this  is  our  custom  at  Dunmow  well  known. 

The  sport  is  ours,  the  bacon's  your  own. 

It  is  said  that  at  the  conclusion  of  the  first  year  of  Queen  Victoria's  reign 
the  flitch  was  sent  her  in  recognition  of  her  rightful  claims,  but  was  returned 
on  the  grounds  that  it  "  was  not  an  article  in  use  in  her  majesty's  kitchen." — 
N'otes  and  Queries,  seventh  series,  x.  234. 

Durance  vile.  This  phrase  is  to  be  found  in  Burns's  "  Epistle  from  Esopus 
to  Maria :" 

In  durance  vile  here  must  I  wake  and  weep, 
And  all  my  frowzy  couch  in  sorrow  steep  1 

But  the  same  expression  was  used  by  W.  Kenrick  in  his  "  Falstaff's  Wed- 


250  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

ding,"  published  in  1766.  It  is  also  to  be  found  in  Burke's  "Thoughts  on 
the  Cause  of  the  Recent  Discontents,"  published  in  1773:  "It  will  not  be 
amiss  to  take  a  view  of  the  effects  of  this  royal  servitude  and  durance  vile." 
Before  either  of  these,  however,  Shakespeare,  in  the  "  Second  Part  of  King 
Henry  IV.,"  Act  v.,  Sc.  4,  makes  Pistol  say,  "  In  base  durance  and  conta- 
gious prison  ;"  and  in  "  King  John,"  Act  iii.,  Sc.  4,  occurs  the  phrase  "  In  the 
vile  prison." 

Dust.  A  slang  term  for  money,  possibly  because  made  of  gold-dust,  though 
the  term  may  have  been  influenced  by  the  essential  worthlessness  of  what 
philosophers  call  dross.  "  Down  with  the  dust"  is  an  old  equivalent  for  "  Hand 
out  your  money."  Dean  Swift,  so  the  story  runs,  once  preached  a  charity 
sermon  at  St  Patrick's,  Dublin,  the  length  of  which  disgusted  many  of  his 
auditors  ;  which  coming  to  his  knowledge,  and  it  falling  to  his  lot  soon  after 
to  preach  another  sermon  of  the  like  kind  in  the  same  place,  he  took  special 
care  to  avoid  falling  into  the  former  error.  His  text  on  the  second  occasion 
was,  "  He  that  hath  pity  upon  the  poor  lendeth  unto  the  Lord,  and  that  which 
he  hath  given  will  he  pay  him  again."  The  Dean,  after  repeating  his  text  in 
a  more  than  commonly  emphatical  tone,  added,  "  Now,  my  beloved  brethren, 
you  hear  the  terms  of  this  loan ;  if  you  like  the  security,  down  with  your 
dust." 

Diist  in  the  eyes,  To  throw^,  to  bewilder,  to  confuse  with  specious  argu- 
ment. The  metaphor  is  so  obvious  that  it  might  seem  futile  to  trace  it  to  any 
particular  source.  Yet  it  is  not  improbable  that  it  was  first  used  with  special 
reference  to  the  common  military  expedient  resorted  to  among  others  by 
Epaminondas.  Wishing  to  steal  a  march  upon  the  Lacedaemonians  near 
Tegea  and  seize  the  heights  behind  them,  he  made  sixteen  hundred  of  his 
cavalry  move  on  in  front  and  ride  about  in  such  manner  as  to  raise  a  great 
cloud  of  dust,  which  the  wind  carried  into  the  eyes  of  the  enemy,  under  cover 
whereof  he  executed  a  successful  flank  movement  and  carried  his  point 
(Poly .«N us  :  Stratagems,  ii.  3,  14).  The  same  authority  mentions  that  Caesar 
wrested  Dyrrachium  from  Pompey  in  a  similar  manner.  And  Plutarch  credits 
the  stratagem  to  Sertorius. 

Dutch  courage,  artificial  courage  inspired  by  intoxicating  drink,  the  ad- 
jective Dutch  being  a  play  upon  the  name  "  hollands,"  or  Holland  gin. 

Pull  away  at  the  usquebaugh,  man,  and  swallow  Dutch  courage,  since  thine  English  is 
oozed  away. — Kingslev  :    West'ward  Ho  !  ch.  xi. 

"  Dutch  defence"  is  a  sham  defence,  probably  influenced  by  the  fact  that 
Dutch  courage  is  a  sham  courage. 

I  am  afraid  Mr.  Jones  maintained  a  kind  of  Dutch  defence,  and  treacherously  delivered 
up  the  garrison  without  duly  weighing  his  allegiance  to  the  fair  Sophia. — Fibloing  :  Tom 
Jones,  ch.  ix. 

Dutch  uncle,  To  talk  like  a,  a  proverbial  phrase,  meaning  to  talk 
severely,  to  reprove  sharply.  The  Dutch  were  held  to  be  unusually  severe 
in  their  military  discipline,  and  an  uncle,  from  the  time  of  the  'Romn.n  patruus, 
like  a  stepfather,  has  always  been  held  to  be  a  sorry  substitute  for  a  dead 
father.  Horace,  in  his  third  Ode,  xii.  3,  has  the  phrase  "  dreading  the  castiga- 
tions  of  an  uncle's  tongue"  ("metuentes  patruae  verbera  linguae").  But  there 
•may  also  be  some  etymological  connection  with  the  phrase  "  Dutch  cousin,"  a 
humorous  perversion  of  "  cousin-german." 

Dutchman,  Pm  a.  Dutchman  is  here  a  term  of  humorous  self-deprecia- 
tion, but  the  phrase,  a  familiar  one  in  England,  and  not  unknown  in  America, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


251 


is  mainly  used  to  indicate  an  impossible  contingency.  It  is  thus  explained  by 
Luke  the  miller  to  Maggie  Tulliver  in  "The  Mill  on  the  Floss"  :  "  Nay,  miss, 
I'n  no  opinion  o'  Dutchmen.  My  old  master,  as  war  a  knowin'  man,  used  to 
say,  says  he,  '  if  e'er  I  sow  my  wheat  wi'out  brinin',  I'm  a  Dutchman,'  says  he  ; 
and  that  war  as  much  as  to  say  as  a  Dutchman  war  a  fool,  or  next  door." 

I  hereby  give  notice  that  I  shall  strike  for  wages.  You  pay  more  to  others,  I  find,  than  to 
me  ;  and  so  I  intend  to  make  some  fresh  conditions  about  Yellowplush.  I  shall  write  no  more 
of  that  gentleman's  remarks  except  at  the  rate  of  twelve  guineas  a  sheet,  and  with  a  drawing 
for  each  number  in  which  his  story  appears, — the  drawing  two  guineas.  Pray  do  not  be  angry 
at  this  decision  on  my  part ;  it  is  simply  a  bargain,  which  it  is  my  duty  to  make.  Bad  as  he 
is,  Mr.  Yellowplush  is  the  most  popular  contributor  to  your  magazine,  and  ought  to  be  paid 
accordingly;  if  he  does  not  deserve  more  than  the  monthly  nurse,  or  the  Blue  Friars,  I  am 
a  Dutchman.— Wm.  M.  Thackeray  :  Letter  to  James  Fraser,  proprietor  of  Eraser's 
Magazine. 


E. 

E,  the  fifth  letter  and  second  vowel  in  the  English  alphabet.  In  Phoenician 
the  name  of  the  sign  was  he  (doubtfully  explained  as  meaning  "  window"),  and 
it  was  used  simply  as  an  aspirate ;  in  Greek  it  was  first  utilized  for  a  vowel 
sound,  originally  as  either  long  or  short.  Later  the  double  value  was  aban- 
doned, and  e  was  restricted  to  denoting  the  short  sound,  as  in  English  met. 
The  double  value  was  restored  in  Latin,  and  has  been  retained  in  most  modern 
alphabets.  In  English  the  letter  does  duty  for  a  larger  variety  of  sounds 
than  in  any  other  language,  and  is,  moreover,  used  as  an  orthographic  auxiliary 
to  modify  other  sounds  while  its  own  value  is  suppressed, — e.g.,  in  such  words 
as  lik^,  mutt',  etc.,  where  it  governs  the  sound  of  i  and  ti,  and  as  manageable, 
where  it  preserves  the  soft  sound  of  the^,  etc.  It  is,  consequently,  the  most 
overworked  letter  in  the  alphabet.  Decipherers  of  cryptograms,  for  instance, 
have  discovered  that  when  the  cryptogram  is  a  simple  one,  the  first  step  is  to 
look  upon  the  sign  or  symbol  which  makes  its  appearance  most  frequently  as 
standing  for  e. 

E  pluribus  unum  ("  One  from  many"),  the  Latin  motto  on  American  coins 
and  on  the  obverse  of  the  great  seal  of  the  United  States.  The  motto  was 
originally  proposed  on  August  10,  1776,  by  the  committee  of  three — Benjamin 
Franklin,  John  Adams,  and  Thomas  Jefferson — who  had  been  appointed  to 
prepare  a  device  for  the  seal.  But  the  device  itself  being  rejected,  it  was  not 
until  June  20,  17S2,  that  the  motto  was  adopted  as  part  of  the  second  and  suc- 
cessful device  submitted  by  Charles  Thomson,  Secretary  of  Congress.  (See 
Seal.)  In  1796,  Congress  furtl^er  ordained  that  the  legend  should  appear  on 
one  side  of  certain  specified  coins.  Both  on  the  seal  and  on  the  coins  it  is  in- 
scribed upon  a  scroll  issuing  from  an  eagle's  mouth.  The  phrase  "  E  pluribus 
una"  or  "  unus"  is  found  in  various  classical  authors.  In  "  Moretum,"  a 
poem  ascribed  to  Virgil,  the  species  of  pottage  which  forms  at  once  the  title 
and  the  subject  is  described  as  being  made  of  various  materials  which  the 
peasant  grinds  up  in  a  pestle.     Then,  says  the  poet, — 

It  manus  in  gyrum  :  pauUatim  singula  vires 
Deperdunt  proprias  ;  color  est  e  pluribus  unutn. 

Horace  asks  (Epistle  ii.  2,  212),  "Quid  te  exempta  juvat  spinis  de  pluribus 
una?"  Juvenal  has  a  like  locution.  P'or  nearly  half  a  century  before  our 
Union,  English  magazines  had  carried  the  motto  "  E  pluribus  unum"  or 
"  una,"  by  way  of  noting  that  the  new  publication  was  the  work  of  many 
hands. 


252  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

It  was  an  early  and  favorite  idea  that  many  and  various  streams  had  flowed  into  the  alembic, 
from  which  the  heat  of  war  distilled  a  matchless  Union,  E  pluribus  unum. — Talcott 
Williams,  in  American  Notes  and  Queries,  i.  204. 

E  pluribus  unum.  One  from  many.  That  is,  one  State  or  Nation — one  Federal  Republic 
— from  many  Republics,  States,  or  Nations. — Alexander  H.  Stephens  :  War  between  the 
States,  i.  404. 

E  pur  si  muove  (It.,  "  Nevertheless  it  does  move").  This  famous  phrase, 
put  into  the  mouth  of  Galileo,  is  an  undoubted  fabrication.  The  good  old 
story,  in  its  integrity,  ran,  that  Galileo  was  thrown  into  the  dungeons  of  the 
Inquisition  for  teaching  that  "the  sun  is  the  centre  of  the  world,  and  im- 
movable, and  that  the  earth  moves,  and  also  with  a  diurnal  motion,"  that  he 
was  tortured  and  his  eyes  put  out,  and  that  he  was  forced  to  recant  in  a  hair 
shirt,  but  as  he  rose  from  the  kneeling  posture  in  which  he  had  signed  his 
recantation  he  whispered  to  a  friend,  '' E  pur  si  mum't'."  The  facts  in  the 
case  as  now  generally  accepted  are,  that  Galileo  was  held  in  detention  in  the 
palace  of  the  Inquisition  for  doctrines  uttered  in  1632,  that  though  he  justly 
resented  the  curtailment  of  his  liberty  he  was  handsomely  lodged  and  treated 
with  the  utmost  consideration,  that  in  1633  the  council  decided  that  Galileo  be 
absolved  from  all  the  penalties  due  to  his  heresies  provided  he  first  solemnly 
abjured  them,  that  but  seven  of  the  ten  cardinals  composing  the  council 
signed  this  sentence,  and  that  Galileo  humbly  professed  his  recantation,  where- 
upon Urban  VIII.  exchanged  imprisonment  for  temporary  banishment  near 
Rome,  and  afterwards  to  Siena.  The  famous  phrase  "  E  pur  si  muove"  was 
never  uttered, — though  it  may  very  well  be  assumed  to  be  a  representation  in 
words  of  what  must  have  been  Galileo's  thoughts  at  the  time.  Its  first  ap- 
pearance in  print  has  been  traced  to  the  "  Lehrbuch  der  philosophischen 
Geschichte,"  published  at  Wiirzburg  in  1774:  "Galileo  was  neither  sufficiently 
in  earnest  nor  steadfast  with  his  recantation  ;  for  the  moment  he  rose  up,  when 
his  conscience  told  him  that  he  had  sworn  falsely,  he  cast  his  eyes  on  the  ground, 
stamped  with  his  foot,  and  exclaimed,  'E  ])ur  si  muove.'" 

In  conclusion,  it  may  be  added  that  Catholics  claim,  with  Bergier,  that 
Galileo  was  not  persecuted  as  a  good  astronomer,  but  as  a  bad  theologian  : 
"il  ne  fut  point  persecute  comme  bon  astronome,  mais  comme  mauvais 
theologien"  (Dictionmiire  Theologique,  1789).  Protestants,  however,  and  others 
who  are  loath  to  lose  such  polemical  capital  as  is  still  afforded  by  the  story, 
claim  that  the  sentence  on  Galileo  included  a  statement  that  his  views  were 
philosophically  false.  Into  the  merits  of  this  controversy  it  would  be  useless 
to  enter. 

Eagle  as  an  emblem.  From  ancient  times  the  eagle  as  the  king  of  birds 
has  been  looked  upon  as  the  symbol  of  royal  or  imperial  power.  It  was  the 
ensign  of  the  Babylonish,  Persian,  and  Etruscan  kings,  as  well  as  of  the 
Ptolemies  and  the  Seleucides.  It  was  also  adopted  by  the  Roman  Republic  in 
B.C.  87,  when  a  silver  eagle  poised  on  a  sj^ear,  with  a  thunder-bolt  in  its  claws, 
was  placed  on  the  military  standards  borne  at  the  head  of  the  legions.  The 
emperors  retained  the  symbol,  Hadrian  changing  the  metal  from  silver  to 
gold.  An  eagle  was  always  let  fly  from  the  funeral  pyre  of  an  emperor,  to 
bear  his  soul  up  to  Olympus.  Hence  the  eagle  has  become  especially  associ- 
ated with  imperialism,  and  when  Napoleon  dreamed  of  universal  conquest  he 
revived  the  golden  eagle  of  his  Roman  predecessors  on  his  standard.  Dis- 
continued under  the  Bourbons,  it  was  restored  by  a  decree  of  Louis  Napoleon 
in  1852.  A  two-headed  eagle,  as  a  sign  of  double  empire,  was  first  used  by 
the  Byzantine  Caesars  to  denote  tlieir  control  both  of  the  East  and  of  the 
West.  The  double  eagle  of  Russia  came  into  being  with  the  marriage  of 
Ivan  I.  to  a  Greek  princess  of  the  Eastern  Empire,  and  that  of  Austria  when 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  253 

the  Emperor  of  Germany  took  the  title  of  Roman  Emperor.  Prussia  and 
Poland  also  have  each  an  eagle,  the  one  black,  the  other  white. 

The  American  eagle  is  the  native  bald  eagle,  and  was  first  adopted  on  the 
seal  of  the  United  States  (see  Seal)  on  June  20,  1782,  against  the  bitter  op- 
position of  Franklin.  The  latter  looked  upon  it  as  a  Caesarean  emblem,  and 
wanted  to  know  what  was  the  matter  with  the  wild  turkey,  as  being  more  dis- 
tinctly American  and  a  bird  sui generis.  Nevertheless,  the  eagle  was  accepted 
not  only  on  the  seal  but  on  the  first  coin  issued  by  the  United  States  in  1795, 
and  on  a  majority  of  the  subsequent  coins.  He  usually  looks  inebriated  but 
defiant,  often  wears  a  shield  for  a  chest-protector,  and  sometimes  shakes  in 
his  beak  what  looks  like  a  ring  of  nice  country  sausages.  Franklin  was 
always  fond  of  poking  fun  at  this  ornithological  monstrosity,  as  in  the  following 
extract,  referring  to  the  eagle  borne  on  a  badge  which  had  been  presented  to 
the  Society  of  the  Cincinnati : 

Others  object  to  the  bald  eagle  as  looking  too  much  like  the  dindon,  or  turkey.  For  my 
part,  I  wish  the  bald  eagle  had  not  been  chosen  as  the  representative  of  our  country  :  he  is  a 
bird  of  bad  moral  character ;  he  does  not  get  his  living  honestly;  you  may  have  seen  him 
perched  on  some  dead  tree,  where,  too  lazy  to  fish  for  himself,  he  watches  the  labor  of  the 
fishing  hawk,  and  when  that  diligent  bird  has  at  length  taken  a  fish  and  is  bearing  it  to  his 
nest  the  bald  eagle  pursues  him  and  takes  it  from  him.  Besides,  he  is  a  rank  coward ;  the 
little  king-bird  attacks  him  boldly.  He  is  therefore  by  no  means  a  proper  emblem  for  the 
brave  and  honest  Cincinnati  of  America,  who  have  driven  allthe  king-birds  from  our  country. 
I  am  on  this  account  not  displeased  that  the  figure  is  not  known  as  a  bald  eagle,  but  looks 
more  like  a  turkey.  For,  in  truth,  the  turkey  is  in  comparison  a  much  more  respectable  bird, 
and  withal  a  true  native  of  America.  He  is,  besides  (though  a  little  vain  and  silly,  it  is  true, 
but  not  the  worse  emblem  for  that),  a  bird  of  courage,  and  would  not  hesitate  to  attack  a  gren- 
adier of  the  British  guards  who  should  presume  to  enter  his  farm-yard  with  a  red  coat  on. 

Nevertheless,  the  eagle  had  things  all  its  own  way,  and  is  still  rapturously 
hailed  as  the  "national  bird"  and  "  the  bird  of  freedom"  by  the  school  of  ora- 
tors who  indulge  in  what  is  familiarly  known  as  spread-eagleism  or  buncombe. 

In  Christian  iconography  the  eagle  is  the  symbol  of  St.  John  the  Evangelist, 
who  is  often  represented  on  its  back  soaring  up  to  heaven  and  gazing  unbliiik- 
ingly  at  the  sun.  We  find  the  eagle  grouped  with  the  ox,  the  symbol  of  St. 
Luke,  the  lion  of  St.  Mark,  and  the  angel,  or  human  form,  of  St.  Matthew,  in 
frescos,  illuminations,  carving,  and  sculpture,  from  the  fifth  century  onward. 
St.  Jerome,  in  the  fourth  century,  in  his  commentary  on  the  vision  of  the 
prophet  Ezekiel  (i.  5),  declares  the  four  winged  creatures  mentioned  by  the 
prophet,  and  also  by  St.  John  in  Revelation  (iv.  7),  to  be  the  symbols  of  the 
four  evangelists.  By  the  seventh  century  their  use  as  Christian  symbols  had 
become  universal  in  East  and  West. 

It  became  the  custom  quite  early  to  represent  the  four  symbols  of  the  evan- 
gelists supporting  the  ambon,  from  which  the  deacon  reads  the  gospels,  the  acts 
of  the  martyrs,  etc.,  and  later  the  pulpit  and  lecturn,  which  developed  out  of 
the  ambon.  In  many  cases  the  place  of  honor,  immediately  under  the  desk, 
was  given  to  the  eagle,  the  emblem  of  St.  John,  soaring  above  all  others, 
according  to  the  old  Latin  verse, — 

Quatuor  haec  Dominum  signant  animalia  Christum  ; 
Est  Homo  nascendo,  Vitulusque  sacer  moriendo, 
Et  Leo  surgendo,  coelos  Aquilaque  petendo. 

The  outspread  wings  of  the  eagle  naturally  supported  the  reading-desk  : 
thus,  when  the  lecturn  took  the  place  of  the  anihon,  there  was  room  for  the 
eagle  only,  and  he  retains  his  place  on  the  lecturns  in  Catholic  and  Anglican 
ch  urches.' 

Eagle,  So  the  struck.  The  eagle  struck  with  the  dart  winged  with  his 
own  feathers  is  a  familiar  figure  in  literature.  Byron  has  it,  in  "English 
Bards  and  Scotch  Reviewers,"  in  the  lines  commemorative  of  Kirke  White: 


254  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

So  the  struck  eagle,  stretched  upon  the  plain. 
No  more  through  rolling  clouds  to  soar  again. 
Viewed  his  own  feather  on  the  fatal  dart, 
And  winged  the  shaft  that  quivered  in  his  heart : 
Keen  were  his  pangs,  but  keener  far  to  feel 
He  nursed  the  pinion  which  impelled  the  steel, 
While  the  same  plumage  that  had  warmed  his  nest 
Drank  the  last  life-drop  of  his  bleeding  breast. 

On  the  Death  of  Kirke  WJiite. 

Waller  says,  in  his  "Lines  to  a  Lady  singing  a  Song  of  his  own  Com- 
posing,"— 

The  eagle's  fate  and  mine  are  one. 

Which  on  the  shaft  that  made  him  die 
Espied  a  feather  of  his  own 

Wherewith  he'd  wont  to  soar  so  high. 

Moore  uses  the  same  figure  : 

Like  a  young  eagle  who  has  lent  his  plume 

To  fledge  the  shaft  by  which  he  meets  his  doom. 

See  their  own  feathers  plucked  to  wing  the  dart 

Which  rank  corruption  destines  for  their  heart. 

Corruption. 
.^schylus  has  it  thus  : 

So,  in  the  Libyan  fable,  it  is  told 

That  once  an  eagle,  stricken  with  a  dart. 

Said,  when  he  saw  the  fashion  of  the  shaft, 

"  With  our  own  feathers,  not  by  others'  hands, 

Are  we  now  smitten." 

The  Myrmidons ,  Fragment  123,  Plumptre's  translation, 
Julian  the  Apostate  adopted  as  his  arms  the  figure  of  an  eagle  struck  with 
an  arrow  feathered  with  his  own  plumes  (propriis  configimur  alls). 

Ear,  In  at  one,  and  out  of  the  other,  a  colloquial  saying,  denoting 
inattention,  heedlessness  of  good  advice,  in  which  sense  it  is  most  virulently 
applied  in  the  speech  of  older  people  to  younger  who  have  failed  to  profit  by 
their  admonitions ;  children  particularly  are  suppo>ed  to  have  a  vacuum  be- 
tween the  ears,  permitting  the  free  passage  of  a  great  deal  of  useful  knowledge 
and  wise  counsel,  without  creating  the  desired  impression,  in  which  cases  the 
phrase  vents  the  chagrin  of  the  tutor  or  counsellor.  Nevertheless,  after  the 
manner  of  proverbs  and  wise  saws,  which  ever  hunt  in  couples  for  their  victim, 
the  couples  being  generally  of  opposite,  often  of  flatly  contradictory,  nature, 
even  so  the  feebleness  of  the  retentive  faculty  of  the  very  young  person  is, 
proverbially  speaking,  made  up  for  by  the  acuteness  and  capacity  of  the  re- 
ceptive, as  the  saying  is,  "  Little  pitchers  have  big  ears,"  or  "  Small  pitchers 
have  wyde  eares,"  as  in  Heywood's  "  Proverbs." 

Charles  Lamb  sat  next  to  some  chattering  woman  at  dinner.  Observing  that  he  did  not 
attend  to  her,  "  You  don't  seem,"  said  the  lady,  "  to  be  at  all  the  better  for  what  I  have  been 
saying  to  you."  "  No,  ma'am,"  he  answered  ;  "  but  this  gentleman  at  the  other  side  of  me 
must,  for  it  all  came  in  at  one  ear  and  went  out  at  the  other." — Enchiridion  of  Wit. 

Ear,  Wrong  sow  by  the.  This  forcible  if  inelegant  mot  has  a  venerable 
antiquity.  It  is  in  the  "Proverbs"  of  John  Hey  wood,  1546,  from  which  we 
can  infer  this  "effectuall  proverbe"  was  then  long  familiar  to  the  English 
tongue.  Ben  Jonson  uses  it  in  "Every  Man  in  his  Humor,"  Act  ii.,  Sc.  i, 
"He  has  the  wrong  sow  by  the  ear,"  in  the  sense  of  "he  reckons  without  his 
host,"  which  is  the  accepted  and  ordinary  significance  of  the  phrase.  They 
have  the  same  phrase  in  Spain.  When  the  valiant  Don  Quixote  makes  his 
ferocious  charge  into  what  he  believes  to  be  a  mighty  army  with  neighing 
horses  and  blaring  trumpets,  but  which  Sancho  Panza  clearly  enough  per- 
ceives to  be  only  a  flock  of  bleating  sheep,  the  latter  calls  to  the  knight  in  the 
midst  of  his  furious  onset, — 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


255 


Are  you  mad,  sir?  there  are  no  giants,  no  knights,  no  cats,  no  asparagus,  no  golden  quarters 
nor  what-d'ye-call-thems.    Does  the  devil  possess  you  ?  You  are  leaping  over  the  hedge  before 
you  come  to  the  stile.     You  are  taking  the  wrong  sow  by  the  ear.— Part  I.,  Book  iii.   ch   iv 
Motteux  transl.  '      '      "' 

While  all  England  was  discussing  the  effort  of  King  Henry  VIII.  to  induce 
Clement  VII.  to  grant  him  a  divorce  from  his  wife,  Catherine  of  Aragon, 
Thomas  Cranmer,  who  was  then  a  doctor  of  divinity  at  Cambridge,  suggested 
that  the  question  of  the  legality  of  a  marriage  with  a  deceased  brother's  wife 
should  be  submitted  to  the  universities  of  Europe.  When  the  king  heard  of 
the  suggestion  he  is  said  to  have  exclaimed,  "  He  has  got  the  right  sow  by  the 
ear  !"  and  caused  him  to  be  sent  for  and  made  his  emissary  to  the  universities. 

The  Romans  had  a  proverbial  expression  somewhat  similar  in  form,  which 
occurs  in  Terence : 

As  the  saying  is,  I  have  got  a  wolf  by  the  ears. 

Phormio,  Act  iii..  So.  2. 

Its  meaning,  however,  as  is  apparent,  was  entirely  different,  it  being  a  proverb 
for  a  position  of  extreme  danger  or  difficulty,  like  our  "catching  a  Tartar;" 
accordingly,  as  Suetonius  relates,  it  was  used  by  Tiberius,  who,  from  the  fear 
of  the  dangers  threatening  him  at  all  hands,  affected  to  refuse  the  imperial 
power,  and  when  urged  thereto  would  reply,  "  I  have  got  a  wolf  by  the 
ears." 

Early  to  bed,  early  to  rise.  Proverbial  philosophy  is  full  of  the  benefits 
and  advantages  to  be  derived  from  early  rising.  One  of  the  best-known  forms 
which  this  proverbial  wisdom  has  taken  is  the  couplet, — 

Early  to  bed  and  early  to  rise. 

Makes  a  man  healthy,  wealthy,  and  wise. 

Franklin  ;  Poor  Richard  for  1735, 

who  may  have  got  it  from  Clarke,  "  Paroemiologia"  (1639). 

The  Muses  love  the  morning,  as  does  the  goddess  Copia,  and  "To  rise 
with  the  lark"  at  "the  breezy  call  of  incense-breathing  morn,"  "sweet  with 
charm  of  earliest  birds,"  is  coupled  with  all  manner  of  benefits,  material  and 
intellectual  (thus,  "The  early  bird  catches  the  worm") ;  on  the  contrary,  rising 
late  is  followed  by  disadvantages  innumerable, — e.g. : 

He  that  rises  late  must  trot  all  Day,  and  shall  scarce  overtake  his  Business  at  xi\^\..—Poor 
Richard  {or  ij$i. 

Or,  according  to  the  saying  of  Archbishop  Whately, — 

Lose  an  hour  in  the  morning,  and  you  will  be  all  day  hunting  for  it. 
The  "serving-man"  is  not  quite  so  sure  of  all  this  wisdom,  who  declares,- 

My  hour  is  eight  o'clock,  though  it  is  an  infallible  rule,  "  Sanat,  sanctificat,  et  ditat,  surgere 
mane"  ("  That  he  may  be  healthy,  happy,  and  wise,  let  him  rise  early"). — A  Health  to  the 
Gentle  Profession  of  Serving-Men,  1598  (reprinted  in  the  Roxburghe  Library),  p.  121. 

And  Sancho  Panza  is  quite  sure  the  philosophers  are  wrong  : 

Heaven's  help  is  better  than  early  rising. — Don  Quixote,  Part  II.,  ch.  xxxiv. 

A  father  exhorting  his  son  to  rise  early  in  the  morning  reminded  him  of  the  old  adage,  "  It's 
the  early  bird  that  picks  up  the  worm."  "  Ah,"  replied  the  son,  "  but  the  worm  gets  up  earlier 
than  the  h\rA."—Jest-Book. 

Ears  burning.  In  his  "Vulgar  Errors"  Sir  Thomas  Browne  tells  us, 
"When  our  cheek  burneth  or  ear  tingleth,  we  usually  say  that  somebody  is 
talking  of  us,  which  is  an  ancient  conceit,  and  ranked  among  superstitious 
opinions  by  Pliny."  He  supposes  it  to  have  proceeded  from  the  notion  of  a 
"signifying  genius  or  universal  Mercury  that  conducted  sounds  to  their  distant 


256  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

subjects,  and  taught  us  to  hear  by  touch."     According  to  an  old  English 
proverb,  whose  second  line  is  slightly  ambiguous,  the  sign  is, — 

Left  for  love  and  right  for  spite  ; 
Left  or  right,  good  at  night. 

In  case  it  be  the  right  ear,  the  sufferer  to  this  day  is  advised  to  pinch  it,  when 
the  person  speaking  despitefully  will  immediately  bite  his  or  her  tongue.     In 
Wiltshire  it  is  customary  to  cross  the  ear  with  the  forefinger,  and  to  say, — 
If  you're  speaking  well  of  me 

I  wish  you  to  go  on. 
But  if  you're  speaking  ill  of  me 
I  wish  you'll  bite  your  tongue. 

Allusions  to  the  superstition  are  common  in  English  literature  : 
I  suppose  that  day  her  ears  might  well  glow. 
For  all  the  town  talked  of  her,  high  and  low. 

Heywood  :  Proverbs. 
That  I  do  credit  give  unto  the  saying  old. 
Which  is,  whenas  the  eares  doe  burne,  something  on  thee  is  told. 

The  Casttll  0/  Courtesie,  1582. 

What  fire  is  in  my  ears ! 

Much  Ado  About  Nothing,  Act  iii..  So.  i. 

One  ear  tingles  ;  some  there  be 
That  are  snarling  now  at  me. 

Herrick  :  Hesperides. 

As  to  the  third  example,  the  exclamation  uttered  by  Beatrice  after  overhearing 
the  conversation  in  the  bower  between  Hero  and  Ursula,  there  is  a  dispute 
among  the  authorities,  Sclmiidt  and  a  few  others  holding  that  no  allusion  is 
intended  to  the  proverbial  saying,  but  that  Beatrice  simply  means,  "  What  fire 
pervades  me  by  what  I  have  heard  !" 

Eeirth.  Of  the  earth,  earthy.  From  St.  Paul's  First  Epistle  to  the 
Corinthians  : 

For  as  in  Adam  all  die,  even  so  in  Christ  shall  all  be  made  alive,  (i  Cor.  xv.  22.)  The 
first  man  is  of  the  earth,  earthy  :  the  second  man  is  the  Lord  from  heaven.  As  is  the  earthy, 
such  are  they  also  that  are  earthy  :  and  as  is  the  heavenly,  such  are  they  also  that  are  heavenly. 
And  as  we  have  borne  the  image  of  the  earthy,  we  shall  also  bear  the  image  of  the  heavenly. 
(/bia.  47-49  incl.) 

Alva,  when  asked  by  Charles  V.  about  an  eclipse  of  the  sun  which  occurred 
in  1547,  during  the  battle  of  Miihlberg,  replied,  "I  had  too  much  to  do  on 
earth  to  trouble  myself  with  the  heavens."  The  phrase  has  come  to  be  used 
adjectively  to  denote  grossness,  or  want  of  refinement,  but  it  is  also  used  in  its 
literal  sense : 

She  is  coming,  my  own,  my  sweet ; 

Were  it  ever  so  airy  a  tread, 
My  heart  would  hear  her  and  beat. 

Were  it  earth  in  an  earthy  bed. 

Tennyson  :  Maud,  XXIL,  Stanza  2. 

Earth  a  hell.  Making,  or  Hell  on  earth,  a  life  or  condition  of  extreme 
misery  or  torment. 
Shakespeare  has, — 

Oh,  hell !  to  choose  love  by  another's  eyes. 

Midsummer  Night' s  Dream,  Act  i.,  Sc.  i. 

Marriage  is  a  matter  of  more  worth 
Than  to  be  dealt  in  by  attorneyship. 

****** 
For  what  is  wedlock  forced  but  a  hell. 
An  age  of  discord  and  continual  strife? 

Henry  VI.,  Part  I.,  Act  v.,  Sc.  5. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  257 

Burns  writes, — 

Cursed  be  the  man,  the  poorest  wretch  in  life. 
The  crouching  vassal  to  the  tyrant  wife, 
Who  has  no  will  but  by  her  high  permission; 
Who  has  not  sixpence  but  in  her  possession  ; 
Who  must  to  her  his  dear  friend's  secrets  tell ; 
Who  dreads  a  curtain  lecture  worse  than  hell. 

The  Henpecked  Husband. 

Byron  uses  the  phrase  to  describe  the  joyless  life  of  self-deprivation  of  the 
ascetic  or  hermit  : 

Deep  in  yon  cave  Honorius  long  did  dwell. 

In  hope  to  merit  heaven  by  making  earth  a  hell. 

Childe  Harold,  Canto  i.,  Stanza  xx. 

The  dialogue  between  Faustus  and  Mephistopheles  is  an  early  illustration 
of  the  use  of  the  term  hell  to  describe  a  condition  rather  than  a  place : 
Faust.  Where  are  you  damned  ? 
Meph.   In  hull. 

Faust.  How  comes  it,  then,  that  thou  art  out  of  hell  ? 
Meph.  Why,  this  is  hell,  nor  am  I  out  of  it ; 

Think'st  ihou  that  I,  who  saw  the  face  of  God, 
Am  not  tormented  with  ten  thousand  hells 
In  being  deprived  of  everlasting  bliss  ? 

Marlowe  :  Faustus. 

Moore  has  almost  the  identical  thought : 

Let  the  damn'd  one  dwell 

Full  in  sight  of  Paradise, 
Beholding  heaven  and  feeling  hell  ! 

Lalla  Rookli  :   The  Fire- Worshippers. 
And  so  has  Milton  : 

Nor  from  hell 
One  steps  no  more  than  from  himself  can  fly 
By  change  of  place. 

Paradise  Lost,  Book  iv.,  1.  21. 
The  mind  is  its  own  place,  and  in  itself 
Can  make  a  heaven  of  hell,  a  hell  of  heaven. 

Ibid.,  Book  i.,  1.  254. 

The  last  with  reminiscences  of  Sir  Edward  Dyer's  "  My  mind  to  me  a  king- 
dom is." 

A  place  of  vice  is  called  a  hell, — e.g.,  gambling-hell. 

Earth,  He  ■wants  the,  a  slangy  colloquialism,  applied  to  one  making 
unreasonable  or  impertinent  demands  ;  also,  as  an  adjective,  denoting  intense 
greed  or  selfishness. 

"  Want  something,  sir?"  the  grinning  steward  cried 

To  one  who  moaned  and  tossed  upon  his  berth. 
"  Oh,  Lord,"  the  sea-sick  passenger  replied, 
"  I  only  want  the  earth." 

Texas  Si/tings. 

At  the  last  even  the  most  arrogant  must  content  themselves  with  the  al- 
lotted six  feet,  even  though  they  be  not  driven  to  the  extremity  of  craving  it 
as  a  boon,  like  Wolsey,  who, 

An  old  man,  broken  with  the  storms  of  state. 
Is  come  to  lay  his  weary  bones  among  ye  : 
Give  him  a  little  earth  for  charity  I 

Henry  VHI.,  Act.  iv.,  Sc.  2. 
Ill-weaved  ambition,  how  much  art  thou  shrunk ! 
When  that  this  body  did  contain  a  spirit, 
A  kingdom  for  it  was  too  small  a  bound  ; 
But  now,  two  paces  of  the  vilest  earth 
Is  room  enough. 

Henry  IV.,  Part  I.,  Act  v.,  Sc.  4. 

22* 


258  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

And  these  quotations  bring  to  mind  the  curious  verbal  analogy  between  the 

Americanism  and  the  old  saying,  still  locally  extant  in  England,  when  an 

unburied  corpse  becomes   offensive,   that  it  is  "  calling   out  loudly  for  the 

earth."     The  phrase  was  evidently  in  Shakespeare's  mind  when  he  wrote, — 

That  this  foul  deed  shall  smell  above  the  earth 

With  carrion  men  groaning  for  burial. 

Julius  CcBsar,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  i. 

Ease  in  •writinjg,  except  it  be  understood  as  that  ease  and  flow  of  style 
which  is  the  perfection  of  art,  is  probably  a  pleasant  fiction,  or  is  a  notion  born 
of  folly  or  affectation. 

Piger  scribendi  ferre  laborem  ; 

Scribendi  recta,  nam  ut  multum  nil  moror. — Horace. 
(Too  indolent  to  bear  the  toil  of  writing ;  I  mean  of  writing  well ;  I  say  nothing  about 
quantity.) 

He  was  a  happie  imitator  of  Nature,  was  a  most  gentle  expresser  of  it.  His  mind  and  hand 
went  together :  And  what  he  thought,  he  uttered  with  that  easinesse,  that  wee  have  scarse 
received  from  him  a  blot  in  his  papers. — Heminge  and  Condell  :  Address  to  the  great 
Variety  0/ Readers,  in  the  first  folio  Shakespeare,  1623. 

Often  turn  the  style  [correct  with  care]  if  you  expect  to  write  anything  worthy  of  being 
read  twice. — Horace. 


For  though  the  Poet's  matter,  Nature  be. 
His  Art  doth  give  the  fashion.     And  that  he. 
Who  casts  to  write  a  living  line,  must  sweat, 
(Such  as  thine  are)  and  strike  the  second  heat 
Upon  the  Muses  anvile  :  turn  the  same, 
(.\nd  himselfe  with  it)  that  he  thinkes  to  frame  ; 
Or  for  the  lawrell,  he  may  gaine  a  scome. 
For  a  good  Poet's  made,  as  well  as  borne. 

Ben  Jonson  :  Lines  to  the  memory  0/ my  beloved,  the  Author, 
prefixed  to  the  folio  Shakespeare  of  1623. 
True  ease  in  writing  comes  from  art,  not  chance. 
As  those  move  easiest  who  have  learned  to  dance. 

Pope:  Essay  on  Criticism,  Part  ii.,  1.  162. 
The  mob  of  gentlemen  who  wrote  with  ease. 

Pope  :  Imitations  of  Horace,  Book  ii.,  Ep.  i.,  1.  108. 
You  write  with  ease  to  show  your  breeding. 
But  easy  writing's  curst  hard  reading. 

Sheridan:  Clio's  Protest. 
To  be  a  well-favored  man  is  a  gift  of  fortune,  but  to  write  and  read  comes  by  nature.    Write 
me  down  an  ass. — Dogberry. 

Charles  Lamb  was  shown  by  Richman  one  of  Chatterton's  forgeries.  In 
the  manuscript  there  were  seventeen  different  kinds  of  /s.  "  Oh,"  said  Lamb, 
"  that  must  have  been  written  by  one  of  the 

■  Mob  of  gentlemen  who  -svTOte  with  ease.'  " 

Hast,  About,  an  American  colloquialism,  used  originally  by  natives  of  the 
Eastern  States  who  had  emigrated  West,  to  express  satisfaction  with  their  new 
surroundings.  The  emigrant  dubs  the  men  and  things  that  he  approves  of 
"  about  east," — i.e.,  "  about  right," — and  looks  upon  that  as  the  highest  term  of 
approval.  Major  Jack  Downing's  famous  phrase,  "  I'd  go  east  of  sunrise  any 
day  to  see  sich  a  place,"  has  frequently  been  cited  as  an  evidence  of  the 
enthusiastic  (though  quaintly  exaggerated)  love  borne  the  East  by  its  sons. 

The  late  Mr.  Horace  Mann,  in  one  of  his  public  addresses,  commented  at  some  length  on 
the  beauty  and  moral  significance  of  the  French  phrase  s'orienter,  and  called  on  his 
young  fi-iends  to  practise  upon  it  in  life.  There  was  not  a  Yankee  in  his  audience  whose 
problem  had  not  always  been  to  find  out  what  was  about  east,  and  to  shape  his  course  ac- 
cordingly. This  charm  which  a  familiar  expression  gains  by  being  commented,  as  it  were, 
and  set  in  a  new  light  by  a  foreign  language,  is  ciuious  and  instructive. — Lowelu:  Biglow 
Papers  :  Introduction. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  259 

accession,  a  once  famous  phrase  in  American  politics,  based  on  the 
custom  observed  in  the  early  history  of  the  country  for  a  newly-elected  Presi- 
dent to  hand  the  portfolio  of  State  to  the  next  most  prominent  man  in  his 
party.  Hence  the  Secretary  of  State  came  to  be  looked  upon  as  in  some  sort 
the  heir-apparent  to  the  Presidency.  Nominating  conventions  respected  this 
tacit  claim.  It  was  in  this  way  that  Madison  succeeded  Jefferson,  and  Monroe 
Madison,  and  John  Quincy  Adams  Monroe.  But  after  a  quarter  of  a  century 
the  people  and  the  politicians  began  to  murmur  at  what  had  come  to  be  known 
as  the  "easy  accession."  One  of  the  evidences  of  this  discontent  was  the 
charge  made  against  Henry  Clay  that  he  had  obtained  the  office  of  Secretary 
of  State  under  John  Quincy  Adams  by  bargain  and  corruption.  Instead, 
therefore,  of  finding  the  position  a  stepping-stone  to  the  Presidency,  it  proved 
a  stumbling-block  to  Clay.  Though  he  received  the  nomination,  he  was 
defeated  by  Andrew  Jackson,  and  the  practice  dubbed  the  easy  accession  came 
to  a  natural  end. 

Eat  to  live;  live  to  eat.  "  Meal,  please  your  majesty,  is  half  a  penny  a 
peck  at  Athens,  and  water  I  can  get  for  nothing,"  replied  Socrates  to  King 
Archelaus's  invitation  to  leave  the  dirty  streets  of  his  native  city  and  come  live 
with  him  at  his  sumptuous  court. 

"  We  eat  to  live  :  not  live  to  eat."  This  last  remark  is  attributed  to  Socrates 
by  Diogenes  Laertius  and  Athenaeus,  both  of  whom  quote  it.  According  to 
Plutarch,  what  Socrates  said  was,  "  Bad  men  live  that  they  may  eat  and  drink, 
whereas  good  men  eat  and  drink  that  they  may  live." 

Moliere  has  the  same  expression  in  "  L'Avare :"  "  According  to  the  saying 
of  the  philosopher  of  old,  il  faut  manger  pour  vivre,  et  non  pas  vivre  pour 
manger"  (Act  iii.,  Sc.  5). 

Socrates,  however,  is  not  with  the  majority. 

Fielding,  in  "  The  Miser,"  Act  iii.,  Sc.  3,  renders  the  phrase  from  "  L'Avare" 
incorrectly,  and  probably  with  malice  prepense, — 

We  must  eat  to  live  and  live  to  eat. 

The  Scripture  sometimes  leans  to  the  side  of  the  sybarites : 
\  commended  mirth,  because  a  man  hath  no  better  thing  under  the  sun  than  to  eat,  and  to 
drink,  and  to  be  merry. — EccUsiasies  viii.  15. 

This  material  enjoyment,  however,  is  at  the  cost  of  the  spiritual : 

To  be  in  both  worlds  full 
Is  more  than  God  was,  who  was  hungry  here  ; 
Wouldst  thou  His  laws  of  fasting  disannul  ? 
Enact  good  cheer? 
Lay  out  thy  joy,  yet  hope  to  save  it? 
Wouldst  thou  both  eat  thy  cake  and  have  it? 

George  Herbert:  The  Tejnple  :  The  Size. 

Byron,  following  Arrian,  gives  this  version  of  a  supposed  inscription  of  the 
Assyrian  king : 

Sardanapalus, 
The  king,  and  son  of  Anacyndaraxes, 
In  one  day  built  Anchialus  and  Tarsus. 
Eat,  drink,  and  love ;  the  rest's  not  worth  a  fillip. 

Sardanapalus,  Act  i.,  Sc.  2. 

We  conclude  with  an  extract  from  Burns  and  one  from  Owen  Meredith  : 
Some  hae  meat  and  canna  eat. 

And  some  wad  eat  that  want  it ; 
But  we  hae  meat,  and  we  can  eat. 
And  sae  the  Lord  be  thanket. 

Burns  :   The  Selkirk  Grace. 


26o  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

We  may  live  without  poetry,  music,  and  art ; 

We  may  live  without  conscience,  and  live  without  heart  ; 

We  may  live  without  friends  ;  we  may  live  without  books ; 

But  civilized  man  cannot  live  without  cooks. 

He  may  live  without  books, — what  is  knowledge  but  grieving? 

He  may  live  without  hope, — what  is  hope  but  deceiving? 

He  may  Uve  without  love, — what  is  passion  but  pining? 

But  where  is  the  man  that  can  live  without  dining? 

Owen  Mekedith  :  Lucile,  Part  I.,  Canto  ii.,  Stanza  24. 

Zlating  one's  heart,  a  strong  but  unpleasant  expression  for  the  self-cor- 
roding mental  and  moral  disquiet  which  seeks  no  relief  in  disburdening  itself. 
Bacon,  in  his  essay  "Of  Friendship,"  refers  the  phrase  to  Pythagoras :  "The 
parable  of  Pythagoras  is  dark,  but  true  :  Cor  tu  edito, — eat  not  the  heart. 
Certainly,  if  a  man  would  give  it  a  hard  phrase,  those  that  want  friends  to 
open  themselves  unto  are  cannibals  of  their  own  hearts."  Bacon's  authority 
is  probably  Plutarch,  who,  in  "  De  Educatione  Puerorum,"  17,  ascribes  the 
"parable"  to  Pythagoras,  explaining  it  as  a  prohibition  "to  afflict  our  souls 
and  waste  them  with  vexatious  cares." 

Spenser,  in  "  Mother  Hubberds  Tale,"  has  the  lines, 

Full  little  knowest  thou  that  hast  not  tride. 

What  hell  it  is  in  suing  long  to  bide  : 
****** 

To  fret  thy  soul  with  crosses  and  with  cares  ; 

To  eat  thy  hearte  with  comfortlesse  dispaires ; 

and  Bryant  in  his  "Iliad,"  Book  i.,  1.  319, — 

But  suffered  idleness 
To  eat  his  heart  away. 

The  humorous  phrases  "to  eat  one's  hat"  and  "  to  eat  one's  head"  have 
no  real  analogy  with  the  sterner  phrase,  but  are  mere  modes  of  instancing 
something  impossible  of  achievement. 

There  was  a  shopman  who  used  always  to  say  to  my  nurse,  "  If  this  stuff  doesn't  wear, 
or  doesn't  wash,"  etc.,  "  /'//  eat  my  hat."  And  then,  afterwards,  if  she  complained  of  a 
stuff  so  bought,  I  used  to  say,  "  Oh,  do  go  and  tell  him  he  was  wrong ;  I  should  so  like  to 
see  him  eat  his  hat !"  It  was  impressed  on  me  as  being  one  of  my  earliest  lessons  in  the 
double  meaning  of  "sayings,"  for  my  importunities  at  last  brought  the  revelation,  "  Non- 
sense! he  doesn't  mean  he  would  really  eat  it;  it  is  just  because  he  couldn't  eat  it  that  he 
made  me  believe  the  stuiT  would  wash." — R.  H.  Bush,  in  Notts  and  Queries,  seventh  series, 
iU.  94. 

"  rU  eat  my  head."  This  was  the  handsome  offer  with  which  Mr.  Grimwig  backed  and  con- 
firmed nearly  every  assertion  he  made ;  and  it  was  the  more  singular  in  his  case  because, 
even  admitting,  for  the  sake  of  argument,  the  possibility  of  scientific  improvements  being 
ever  brought  to  that  pass  which  will  enable  a  man  to  eat  his  own  head  in  the  event  of  being 
so  disposed,  Mr.  Grimwig's  head  was  such  a  particularly  large  one  that  the  most  sanguine 
man  alive  could  hardly  entertain  a  hope  of  being  able  to  get  through  it  at  a  sitting,  to  put 
entirely  out  of  the  question  a  very  thick  coating  of  powder.— O/zWr  Twist,  ch.  xiv. 

Echo  Verses.  These  are  verses  constructed  so  that  the  last  syllable  or 
syllables  of  each  line,  being  given  back  as  it  were  by  an  echo,  form  a  reply  to 
the  line  itself  or  a  comment  upon  it.  In  one  of  his  very  amusing  papers  on 
"False  Wit,"  Addison  has  some  hard  words  for  this  form  of  literary  trifling. 
"  I  find  likewise,"  he  says,  "in  ancient  times  the  conceit  of  making  an  Echo 
talk  sensibly  and  give  rational  answers.  If  this  could  be  excusable  in  any 
writer,  it  would  be  in  Ovid,  where  he  introduces  the  echo  as  a  nymph,  before 
she  was  worn  away  into  .nothing  but  a  voice  [Metamorphoses,  iii.  379).  The 
learned  Erasmus,  though  a  man  of  wit  and  genius,  has  composed  a  dialogue 
upon  this  silly  kind  of  device,  and  made  use  of  an  echo  who  seems  to  have  been 
an  extraordinary  linguist,  for  she  answers  the  person  she  talks  with  in  Latin, 
Greek,  and  Hebrew,  according  as  she  found  the  syllables  which  she  was  to 
repeat  in  any  of  those  learned  languages.     Hudibras,  in  ridicule  of  this  false 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  26l 

kind  of  wit,  has  described  Bruin  bewailing  the  loss  of  his  bear  to  a  solitary 
echo,  who  is  of  great  use  to  the  poet  in  several  distichs,  as  she  does  not  only 
repeat  after  him,  but  helps  out  his  verse  and  furnishes  him  with  rhymes." 
The  verses  alluded  to  as  in  "  Hudibras"  run  as  follows  : 

He  beat  his  breast  and  tore  his  hair, 

For  loss  of  his  dear  crony  bear, 

That  Echo,  from  the  hollow  ground. 

His  doleful  wailings  did  resound 

More  wistfully,  by  many  times. 

Than  in  small  poets'  splay-foot  rhymes. 

Quoth  he,  "  O  whither,  wicked  bruin, 

Art  thou  fled  ?  to  my" — Echo,  "Ruin." 

"  I  thought  thou  'adst  scorned  to  budge  a  step 

For  fear."     Quoth  Echo,  "Marry  quep." 

"  Am  I  not  here  to  take  thy  part? 

Then  what  has  quailed  thy  stubborn  heart 

Have  these  bones  rattled,  and  this  head 

So  often  in  thy  quarrel  bled  ? 

Nor  did  I  ever  wince  or  trudge  it 

For  thy  dear  sake."     Quoth  she,  "Mum  budget." 

"  To  run  from  those  thou  hadst  o'ercome 

Thus  cowardly."     Quoth  Echo,  "Alum  !" 

"  Yet  shame  and  honor  might  prevail 

To  keep  thee  thus  from  turning  tail ; 

For  who  would  grudge  to  spend  his  blood  in 

His  honor's  cause  ?"     Quoth  she,  "A  puddin' !" 

In  spite  of  Butler,  however,  in  spite  of  Addison  (who  himself,  by  the  way, 
composed  an  Echo  song  of  indifferent  merit),  the  practice  is  not  unamusing, 
and  it  has  had  the  sanction  of  many  great  names  in  the  past.  It  is  even  said 
that  in  the  lost  tragedy  of  "Andromeda"  the  great  Euripides  condescended 
to  trifling  of  this  kind.  Certainly  the  Greek  Anthology  reveals  some  speci- 
mens, notably  an  epigram  of  Leonidas  (Book  iii.  6)  and  a  short  poem  com- 
mencing,— 

a  'AxM  ^CKa,  /uoi  cvyxaTaCvecrov  ri. — /3  Tt  ; 
("Echo  !  I  love  :  advise  me  somewhat. — What?") 
Martial  has  an  epigram  on  the  practice,  which  show^  it  was  known  among 
the  Romans,  though  the  extant  Latin  examples  are  all  of  modern  date,  as,  for 
instance,  the  noted  Latin  distich  made  in  England  after  the  meeting  of  the 
Synod  of  Dort,  in  1618  : 

Dordrecht!  synodus,  nodus  ;  chorus  integer,  aeger ; 
Conventus,  ventus  ;  sessio  stramen, — amen. 

In  France,  from  the  time  of  Joachim  Dubellay  to  that  of  Victor  Hugo, 
echo  verses  have  been  written  by  men  of  light  and  leading.  Here  are  a  few 
lines  from  the  famous  dialogue  between  Echo  and  a  lover,  written  by  the 
former,  which  has  been  the  model  for  numerous  similar  efforts  in  other 
languages : 

Qui  est  I'auteur  de  ces  maux  advenus  ? — Venus. 

Qu'etois-je  avant  d'entrer  en  ce  passage  ?— Sage. 

Qu'est-ce  qu'aimer  et  se  plaindre  souvent? — Vent. 

Dis-moi  quelle  est  celle  pour  qui  j'endure? — Dure. 

Sent-elle  bien  la  douleur  qui  me  point? — Point. 

As  to  Victor  Hugo,  he  has  written  a  ballad,  "  The  Burgrave's  Hunt,"  which 
consists  of  two  hundred  echo  verses  like  the  following  : 
Daigne  proteger  notre  chasse, 

Chasse. 
De  monseignetu-  saint  Godefroi, 

Roi. 
Si  tu  fais  ce  que  je  desire, 

Sire, 
Nous  t'edifirons  un  tombeau 

Beau. 


202  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

In  England  echo  verses  were  especially  popular  with  the  quaintly  "  con- 
ceited" writers  of  the  seventeenth  century.  George  Herbert,  of  course,  tried 
his  hand  at  one  : 

Heaven, 

O  who  will  show  me  those  delights  on  high  ? 

Echo—\. 
Thou,  Echo  ?     Thou  art  mortal,  all  men  know. 

Echo — No. 
Wert  thou  not  born  among  the  trees  and  leaves  ? 

Echo — Leaves. 
And  are  there  any  leaves  that  still  abide  ? 
Echo — Bide. 
What  leaves  are  they?     Impart  the  matter  wholly. 

Echo — Holy. 
Are  holy  leaves  the  Echo,  then,  of  bliss? 
Echo—Yf^s. 
Then  tell  me,  what  is  that  supreme  delight  ? 
Echo — Light. 
Light  to  the  mind :  what  shall  the  will  enjoy  ? 

Echo — Joy. 
But  are  there  cares  and  business  with  the  pleasure  ? 

Echo —  Leisure. 
Light,  joy,  and  leisure  !  but  shall  they  persever? 
Echo — Ever. 
The  following  dialogue  may  not  be  a  better  poem  than  Herbert's,  but  it  is 
far  more  apt  and  ingenious  as  question  and  answer.     It  is  taken  from  a 
curious  volume  entitled  "  Hygiasticon  :   or  the  Right  Course  of  Preserving 
Life   and    Health  unto   extream   old   Age :    together  with   Soundnesse   and 
Integritie  of  the   Senses,  Judgement,  and  Memorie.     Written  in  Latine  by 
Leonard  Lessius,  and  now  done  into  Englishe.     24mo,  Cambridge,  1634." 

Dialogue  between  a  Glutton  and  Echo. 

Glutton.  My  bellie  I  do  deifie. 
Echo.  Fie ! 

Gl,  Who  curbs  his  appetite's  a  fool. 
Echo.  Ah  fool  r 

Gl.  I  do  not  like  this  abstinence. 
Echo.  Hence  f 

Gl.  My  joy's  a  feast,  my  wish  is  wine. 
Echo.  Swine. 

Gl.  We  epicures  are  happie  truly. 
Echo.  You  lie. 

Gl,  Who's  that  which  giveth  me  the  lie  ? 
Echo.  I. 

Gl.  What !  Echo,  thou  that  mock'st  a  voice? 
Echo.  A  voice. 

Gl.  May  I  not,  Echo,  eat  my  fill  ? 
Echo.  Ill 

Gl.  Will't  hurt  me  if  I  drink  too  much  ? 
'Echo.  Much. 

Gl.  Thou  mock'st  me,  nymph ;  I'll  not  believe' t. 
Echo.  Believe't. 

Gl.  Dost  thou  condemn,  then,  what  I  do  ? 
Echo.  I  do. 

Gl.  I  grant  it  doth  exhaust  the  purse. 
Echo.  Worse. 

Gl.  Is't  this  which  dulls  the  sharpest  wit  ? 
Echo.  Best  wit. 

Gl.  Is't  this  which  brings  infirmities  ? 
Echo.  It  is. 

Gl.  Whither  will't  bring  my  soul  ?  canst  tell 
Echo.  T'hell. 

Gl.  Dost  thou  no  gluttons  virtuous  know  ? 
Echo.  No. 

Gl.  Wouldst  have  me  temperate  till  I  die  ? 
Echo.  Ay. 


LITER AR  V  CURIOSITIESr 

Gl.  Shall  I  therein  finde  ease  and  pleasure  ? 
Echo.  Yea,  sure. 

Gl.  But  is't  a  thing  which  profit  brings  ? 
Echo.  It  brings. 

Gl.  To  mind  or  body  ?  or  to  both  ? 
Echo.  To  both. 

Gl.  Will  it  my  life  on  earth  prolong  ? 
Echo.  Oh  long ! 

Gl.  Will't  make  me  vigorous  until  death  ? 
Echo.  Till  death. 

Gl.  Will't  bring  me  to  eternal  blisse  ? 
Echo.  Yes. 

Gl.  Then,  sweetest  Temperance,  I'll  love  thee. 
Echo.  I  love  thee. 

Gl.  Then,  swinish  Gluttonie,  I'll  leave  thee. 
Echo.^  I'll  leave  thee. 

Gl.  I'll  be  a  belly-god  no  more. 
Echo.  No  more. 

Gl.  If  all  be  true  which  thou  dost  tell. 
They  who  fare  sparingly  fare  well. 
Echo.  Farewell. 

Here  is  a  Royalist  effort  to  make  Echo  throw  her  voice  on  the  side  of 
Charles  I.  during  his  struggle  with  the  Parliamentarians  : 

What  wantest  thou,  that  thou  art  in  this  sad  taking  ? 

Echo — A  king. 
What  made  him  first  remove  hence  his  residing? 

Siding. 
Did  any  here  deny  him  satisfaction  ? 

Faction. 
Tell  me  wherein  the  strength  of  faction  lies  ? 

On  lies. 
What  didst  thou  when  the  king  left  his  Parliament? 

Lament. 
What  terms  wouldst  give  to  gain  his  company  ? 

Any. 
What  wouldst  thou  do  if  here  thou  mightst  behold  him  ? 

Hold  him. 
But  wouldst  thou  save  him  with  thy  best  endeavor  ? 

Ever. 
But  if  he  comes  not,  what  becomes  of  London  ? 

Undone. 

Echo  shows  herself  even  more  fiercely  anti-Puritan  in  the  following,  which 
D'Israeli  tells  us  was  recited  at  the  end  of  a  comedy  played  by  the  scholars  of 
Trinity  College,  Cambridge,  in  March,  1641  : 

Now,  Echo,  on  what's  religion  grounded  ? 

Roundhead  ! 
Whose  its  professors  most  considerable  ? 

Rabble ! 
How  do  these  prove  themselves  to  be  the  godly  ? 

Oddly. 
But  they  in  life  are  known  to  be  the  holy. 

Olie! 
Who  are  these  preachers,  men  or  women-common  ? 

Common ! 
Come  they  from  any  universitie  ? 

Citie. 
Do  they  not  learning  from  their  doctrine  sever  ? 

Ever. 
Yet  they  pretend  that  they  do  edifie  ; 

Ofie! 
What  do  you  call  it,  then,  to  fructify  ? 

What  church  have  they,  and  what  pulpits  ? 

Pits! 
But  now  in  chambers  the  Conventicle  ; 

Tickle  I 


264  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  godly  sisters  shrewdly  are  belied. 

Bellied! 
The  godly  number  then  will  soon  transcend. 

End! 
As  for  the  temples,  they  with  zeal  embrace  them. 

Rase  them ! 
What  do  they  make  of  bishops'  hierarchy  ? 

Archie ! 
Are  crosses,  images,  ornaments  their  scandall  ? 

All. 
Nor  will  they  leave  us  many  ceremonies, 

Monies. 
Must  even  religion  down  for  satisfaction. 

Faction. 
How  stand  they  affected  to  the  government  civil? 

Evil. 
But  to  the  king  they  say  they  are  most  loyal. 

Lye  all  ! 
Then  God  keep  king  and  State  from  these  same  men. 

Amen  ! 

The  following  are  from  no  less  a  hand  than  Dean  Swift : 
A  Gentle  Echo  on  Woman. 

Shepherd.  Echo,  I  ween,  will  in  the  woods  reply. 

And  quaintly  answer  questions.     Shall  I  try? 
Echo.  Try. 

Shep.  What  must  we  do  our  passion  to  express  ? 
Echo.  Press. 

Shep.  How  shall  I  please  her  who  ne'er  loved  before  ? 
Echo.  Be  fore. 

Shep.  What  most  moves  women  when  we  them  address  ? 
Echo.  A  dress. 

Shep.  Say,  what  can  keep  her  chaste  whom  I  adore? 
Echo.  A  door. 

Shep.  If  music  softens  rocks,  love  tunes  my  lyre. 
Echo.  Liar. 

Shep.  Then  teach  me.  Echo,  how  shall  I  come  by  her? 
Echo.  Buy  her. 

Shep.  When  bought,  no  question  I  shall  be  her  dear. 
Echo.  Her  deer. 

Shep.  But  deer  have  horns  :  how  must  I  keep  her  under? 
Echo.  Keep  her  under. 

Lffver.  Say,  what  will  turn  that  frisking  coney 

Into  the  toils  of  matrimony  ? 
Echo.  Money ! 

Lover.  Has  Phoebe  not  a  heavenly  brow  ? 
Is  it  not  white  as  pearl — as  snow  ? 
Echo.  Ass  !  no  ! 

Lover.  Her  eyes  !     Was  ever  such  a  pair  ? 

Are  the  stars  brighter  than  they  are  ? 
Echo.  They  are! 

Lover.  Echo,  thou  liest,  but  can't  deceive  me  ; 
Her  eyes  eclipse  the  stars,  believe  me — 
Echo.  Leave  me ! 

Lover.  But  come,  thou  saucy,  pert  romancer. 

Who  is  as  fair  as  Phoebe  ?  answer ! 
Echo.  Ann,  sir. 

A  tragic  story  is  connected  with  the  next  example  on  our  list.  It  formed  a 
part  of  that  "treasonable"  pamphlet,  "  Germany  in  its  Deepest  Humiliation," 
which  the  Nuremberg  bookseller  Palm  published  in  the  spring  of  1S06.  The 
treason  consisted  in  criticisms  on  the  policy  of  Napoleon,  then  at  the  height 
of  his  power.  Palm  was  arrested,  conveyed  to  Brunau,  tried  by  court-martial 
on  August  26,  condemned  without  being  allowed  the  privilege  of  pleading  his 
own  cause  either  in  person  or  by  attorney,  sentenced  to  death,  and  shot  on  the 
day  of  his  trial.     Subsequently,  at  St.  Helena,  Napoleon  sought  to  palliate 


LITER AR  Y  CURIOSITIES.  265 

this  high-handed  outrage  and  throw  the  blame  on  other  shoulders :  "All  that 
I  recollect  is,  that  Palm  was  arrested,  by  order  of  Davoust,  I  believe,  tried, 
condemned,  and  shot,  for  having,  while  the  country  was  in  possession  of  the 
French  and  under  military  occupation,  not  only  excited  rebellion  among  the 
inhabitants,  and  urged  them  to  rise  and  massacre  the  soldiers,  but  also  at- 
tempted to  instigate  the  soldiers  themselves  to  refuse  obedience  to  their 
orders,  and  to  mutiny  against  their  generals.  I  believe  that  he  met  with  a  fair 
trial."  (Voice from  Si.  Helena,  vol.  i.  p.  432.) 
Here  is  a  translation  of  the  Echo  poem  : 

Bonaparte  and  the  Echo. 

Bonaparte.  Alone,  I  am  in  this  sequestered  spot  not  overheard. 

Echo.  Heard ! 

Bon.  'Sdeath  !     Who  answers  me  ?     What  being  is  there  nigh  ? 

Echo.  I. 

Bon.  Now  I  guess  !     To  report  my  accents  Echo  has  made  her  task. 

Echo.  Ask. 

Bon.  Knowest  thou  whether  London  will  henceforth  continue  to  resist? 

Echo.  Resist. 

Bon.  Whether  Vienna  and  other  courts  will  oppose  me  always  ? 

Echo.  Always. 

Bon.  O  Heaven!  what  must  I  expect  after  so  many  reverses  ? 

Echo.  Reverses. 

Bon.  What !  should  I,  like  a  coward  vile,  to  compound  be  reduced? 

Echo.  Reduced. 

Bon.  After  so  many  bright  exploits  be  forced  to  restitution? 

Echo.  Restitution. 

Bon.  Restitution  of  what  I've  got  by  true  heroic  feats  and  martial  address? 

Echo.  Yes. 

Bon.  What  will  be  the  fate  of  so  much  toil  and  trouble  ? 

Echo.  Trouble. 

Bon.  What  will  become  of  my  people,  already  too  unhappy  ? 

Echo.  Happy. 

Bon.  What  should  I  then  be,  that  I  think  myself  immortal? 

Echo.  Mortal. 

Bon.  The  whole  world  is  filled  with  the  glory  of  my  name,  you  know? 

Echo.  No. 

Bon.  Formerly  its  fame  struck  this  vast  globe  with  terror. 

Echo.  Error. 

Bon.  Sad  Echo,  begone !     I  grow  infuriate  !     I  die ! 

Echo.  Die  1 

The  following  verses,  of  uncertain  date  and  authorship,  are  not  altogether 
without  merit : 

If  I  address  the  Echo  yonder. 
What  will  its  answer  be,  I  wonder  ? 

Ech<^—1  wonder. 

O  wondrous  Echo,  tell  me,  blessi. 
Am  I  for  marriage  or  celibacy  ? 

Ecko—S\\\y  Bessy. 

If  then  to  win  the  maid  I  try. 
Shall  I  find  her  a  property  ? 

Echo — A  proper  tic. 

If  neither  being  grave  nor  funny 
Will  win  the  maid  to  matrimony  ? 

Echo — Try  money. 

If  I  should  try  to  gain  her  heart. 
Shall  1  go  plain,  or  rather  smart  ? 

Echo — Smart. 

She  mayn't  love  dress,  and  I,  again,  then 
May  come  too  plain,  and  she'll  complain  then? 

Echo — Come  plain,  then. 

m  23 


266  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

To  please  her  most,  perhaps  'tis  best 
To  come  as  I'm  in  common  dressed  ? 

Echo — Come  undressed. 

Then,  if  to  marry  me  I  tease  her. 
What  will  she  say  if  that  should  please  her? 
£cAo— Please,  sir. 

When  cross  nor  good  words  can  appease  hei^— 

What  if  such  naughty  whims  should  seize  her? 

Echo — You'd  see,  sir. 

When  wed  she'll  change,  for  Love's  no  stickler. 
And  love  her  husband  less  than  liquor? 

Echo — Then  lick  her. 

To  leave  me  then  I  can't  compel  her. 
Though  every  woman  else  excel  her. 

Echo — Sell  her. 

The  doubting  youth  to  Echo  turned  again,  sir. 
To  ask  advice,  but  found  it  did  not  answer. 

Here  is  another  production,  also  anonymous,  but  obviously  of  later  date  than 
the  other,  which,  indeed,  it  imitates  : 

Ego  and  Echo. 

I  asked  of  Echo,  t'other  day. 

Whose  words  are  few  and  often  funny. 
What  to  a  question  she  should  say 

Of  courtship,  love,  and  matrimony. 

Quoth  Echo,  plainly,  "  Matter  o'  money." 

Whom  should  I  marry?     Should  it  be 

A  dashing  damsel,  gay  and  pert, 
A  pattern  of  consistency. 

Or  selfish,  mercenary  flirt? 

Quoth  Echo,  sharply,  "  Nary  flirt." 

What  if,  a-weary  of  the  strife 

That  long  has  lured  the  gay  deceiver. 
She  promised  to  amend  her  life 

And  sin  no  more — can  I  believe  her? 

Quoth  Echo,  with  decision,  "  Leave  her." 

But  if  some  maiden  with  a  heart 

On  me  should  venture  to  bestow  it. 
Pray,  should  I  act  the  wiser  part. 

To  take  the  treasure  or  forego  it  ? 

Quoth  Echo,  very  promptly,  "  Go  it." 

But  what  if,  seemingly  afraid 

To  bind  her  fate  in  Hymen's  fetter. 
She  vows  she  means  to  die  a  maid. 

In  answer  to  my  loving  letter? 

Quoth  Echo,  very  coolly,  "  Let  her." 

What  if,  in  spite  of  her  disdain, 

I  find  my  heart  entwined  about 
With  Cupid's  dear,  delicious  chain 

So  closely  that  I  can't  get  out? 

Quoth  Echo,  laughingly,  "  Get  out." 

But  if  some  maid  with  beauty  blest. 

As  pure  and  fair  as  Heaven  can  make  her. 

Will  share  my  labor  and  my  rest 

Till  envious  Daath  shall  overtake  her  ? 
Quoth  Echo  \sotto  voce),  "  Take  her." 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  267 

We  will  close  our  list  with  a  handful  oijatx  d'esprit.  The  first  appeared 
in  the  Sunday  Times  in  1836,  when  the  Orpheus  of  Music  was  charming  all 
London  at  exorbitant  rates  : 

What  are  they  who  pay  three  guineas 
To  hear  a  tune  of  Paganini's  ? 

Echo^Pack  o'  ninnies. 

The  second,  which  appeared  in  1886,  is  attributed  to  an  echo  that  haunts  the 
Sultan's  palace  at  Constantinople.  Abdul  Hamid  is  supposed  to  question  it 
as  to  the  intentions  of  the  European  powers  and  his  own  resources : 

L' Angleterre  ? 

Erre. 
L' Autriche  ? 

Triche. 
La  Prusse  ? 

Russe. 
Mes  principautes  ? 

Otees. 
Mes  cuirasses  ? 

Assez. 
Mes  Pashas? 

Achats. 
Et  Suleiman? 

Ment. 

The  other  two  tell  their  own  story  : 

I'd  fain  praise  your  poem,  but  tell  me,  how  is  it, 
When  I  cry  out,  "  Exquisite,"  Echo  cries,  "  Quiz  it !" 

What  must  be  done  to  conduct  a  newspaper  right  ? — Write. 

What  is  necessary  for  a  farmer  to  assist  him  ? — System. 

What  would  give  a  blind  man  the  greatest  delight? — Light. 

What  is  the  best  counsel  given  by  a  justice  of  the  peace? — Peace. 

Who  commit  the  greatest  abominations  ? — Nations 

What  cry  is  the  greatest  terrifier? — Fire. 

What  are  some  women's  chief  exercise  ? — Sighs. 


Eclipse  first,  the  rest  nowhere,  the  famous  declaration  made  by  Captain 
O'Kelley  at  Epsom,  May  3,  1769,  when  the  horse  Eclipse  distanced  the  field. 
It  has  passed  into  a  familiar  illustration. 

Homer  is  not  more  decidedly  the  first  of  heroic  poets,  Shakespeare  is  not  more  decidedly 
the  first  of  dramatists,  Demosthenes  is  not  more  decidedly  the  first  of  orators,  than  Boswell 
is  the  first  of  biographers.  He  has  distanced  all  competitors  so  decidedly  that  it  is  not  worth 
while  to  place  them.  Eclipse  is  first,  and  the  rest  nowhere. — Macaulay  :  Review  of  Croker's 
BosiuelVsIohnson. 

ticrasez  rinfime !  {"  Crush  the  infamous  thing !")  the  motto  adopted  by 
Voltaire : 

I  end  all  my  letters  with  "  Crush  the  infamous  thing,"  just  as  Cato  always  said,  "  Such  is 
my  opinion,  et  delenda  est  Carthago." — Letter  to  D' Aletnbert ,  June  23,  1760. 

Explaining  the  meaning  of  his  term  more  definitely, — 

I  want  you  to  crush  the  infamous  thing,  that  is  the  main  point.  It  is  necessary  to  reduce  it 
to  the  state  in  which  it  is  in  England ;  and  you  can  succeed  in  this  if  you  will. — Ibid. 

Furthermore  he  writes, — 

By  the  infante  you  will  understand  that  I  mean  superstition  ;  as  for  religion,  I  love  and 
respect  it  as  you  do  ("  Vous  pensez  bien  que  je  ne  pai-le  que  de  la  superstition ;  car  pour  la 
religion,  je  I'aime  et  la  respecte  comme  vous"). 

A  quotation  from  a  letter  of  D'Alembert  to  Voltaire,  May  4,  1762,  shows 
that  infdme  was  understood  by  them  to  be  of  the  feminine  gender,  agreeing 
with  chose  understood : 


268  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Ecrasez  I'mfame,  me  repetez-vous  sans  cesse.  Ah,  mon  bon  Dieu,  laissez-Ia  se  precipiter 
elle-meme,  elle  y  court  plus  vite  que  vous  ne  pensez. 

As  the  fight  grew  hotter  and  the  combatants  more  numerous,  he  settled  upon  J^crasez 
V Infame  as  the  battle-cry  of  the  faithful.  He  rang  all  the  changes  upon  these  words.  Some- 
times he  used  them  in  jest ;  often  with  passionate  vehemence.  Not  unfrequently,  in  the  haste 
of  finishing  his  letter,  he  would  abbreviate  the  words  to  £cr.  I'lnf.,  and  sometimes  he  would 
repeat  this  abbreviation  many  times  in  the  same  letter.  Occasionally  he  would  write,  in  the 
only  comer  left,  ]5  I'l.  .  .  .  And  what  was  this  infamous  thing  which  he  was  so  passionately 
desirous  of  crushing?  And  why  this  access  of  zeal,  in  the  decline  of  his  life,  when  he  was 
panoplied  about  from  dangerous  attack  by  a  splendor  of  reputation  and  princely  opulence 
never  before  enjoyed,  still  less  won,  by  a  poet?  This  question  is  one  which  demands  an  ex- 
plicit answer.  The  In/ame  of  Voltaire  was  not  religion,  nor  the  Christian  religion,  nor  the 
Roman  Catholic  Church.  It  ivas  religion  claiming  supernatural  authority ,  and  enforcing 
that  claitn  by  pains  and  penalties.  .  .  .  It  was  the  most  ancient  and  powerful  of  all  alliances, 
that  of  the  medicine-man  and  the  chief,  with  modem  means  and  appliances  to  assist  both. — 
Parton  :  Life  of  Voltaire,  vol.  ii.  p.  287. 

Deletida  est  Carthago  ("  Carthage  must  be  destroyed"),  the  words  referred  to 
above  by  Voltaire,  are  the  words  with  which  the  elder  Cato  always  ended  his 
speeches,  whatever  the  subject  might  be,  and  thus  incited  the  Romans  to  the 
third  Punic  war. 

He  drank  great  quantities  of  absinthe  of  a  morning,  smoked  incessantly,  played  roulette 
whenever  he  could  get  a  few  pieces,  contributed  to  a  small  journal,  and  was  especially  great 
in  his  hatred  of  V infame  Angleterre.  Delenda  est  Carthago  was  tattooed  beneath  his  shirt- 
sleeves. Fifine  and  Clarisse,  young  milliners  of  the  students'  district,  had  punctured  this 
terrible  motto  on  his  manly  right  arm. — Thackeray  :    The  Nezvcomes,  vol.  i.  chap,  xxxiv. 

Edel-weiss  means  "  noble  whiteness"  or  "  noble  purity ;"  its  tender  star- 
shaped  flowers  are  familiar  to  all  Alpine  tourists.  The  plant  is  scarce  and 
very  partial.  It  is  found  in  the  Engadine,  seldom  in  the  Bernese  Oberland, 
and  has  particular  corners  and  mountains  that  it  affects.  This  scarcity  and 
partiality  gave  to  the  edelweiss  a  somewhat  unhealthy  notoriety.  The  rarer 
it  became,  the  more  ambitious  was  the  tourist  to  possess  it.  Every  cockney 
hat  was  adorned  with  the  curious  bloom,  purchased,  not  by  laborious  and 
perilous  enterprise,  but  for  a  few  centimes.  Edelweiss  was  sold  by  the  hand- 
ful at  Interlaken,  Chamouni,  and  Grindelwald.  Guides,  porters,  and  boys 
were  tempted  to  rifle  the  mountain  of  its  peerless  flowers.  When  the  rage 
for  "art  greens"  broke  out  in  England,  aesthetic  young  ladies  crowned  them- 
selves with  wreaths  of  these  soft  petals,  or  even  appeared  at  fancy  balls  in 
the  character  of  The  Alps,  smothered  in  edelweiss.  At  last  the  Swiss  gov- 
ernment determined  to  put  down  by  law  the  wholesale  destruction  of  this 
popular  flower.  It  was  rapidly  disappearing  from  the  country,  when  an  en- 
actment made  it  penal  to  take  a  plant  up  by  the  roots.  The  dignity  and  im- 
portance of  legislation  gave  a  new  impetus  to  the  interest  that  was  attached 
to  the  plant,  and  going  in  search  of  the  edelweiss  has  again  become  as  attrac- 
tive a  source  of  danger  as  any  to  be  found  in  Switzerland. 

Edge-tools,  There's  no  jesting  with.  The  line  is  from  Beaumont  and 
Fletcher's  "The  Little  French  Lawyer,"  Act  iv.,  So.  7.  Tennyson  has  a 
similar  phrase  : 

You  jest :  ill  jesting  with  edge-tools. 

Princess,  ii. 

The  wisdom  thus  embodied  has  found  other  modes  of  expression, — e.g..  Don't 
monkey  with  the  buzz-saw,  a  rather  slangy  but  forcible  American  collo- 
quialism. 

iSgalit^,  a  sobriquet  popularly  given  to  Philip,  Duke  of  Orleans,  father  of 
Louis  Philippe,  because  he  sided  with  the  revolutionary  party  and  was  fond 
of  quoting  their  motto,  "  Liberty,  Equality,  Fraternity."     Nevertheless  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  269 

republicans  doubted  the  sincerity  of  a  prince's  conversion,  and  sent  him  to 
meet  the  great  leveller  Death  on  the  guillotine  (1793). 

Eggs.  Dr.  De  Morgan  holds  that  the  proverb  "  As  sure  as  eggs  is  eggs" 
(always  quoted  in  this  ungrammatical  form)  is  a  corruption  of  the  logician's 
announcement  of  identity,  "Jfis  X"  "From  the  sublime  to  the  ridiculous 
is  but  a  step,  from  X  to  eggs  hardly  so  much."  (Notes  a7id  Queries,  third  series, 
vi.  203.) 

Egypt,  a  sobriquet  applied  to  the  southern  portion  of  the  State  of  Illinois, 
— a  figurative  allusion  to  the  Egyptian  darkness  of  ignorance  and  immorality 
that  was  anciently  credited  to  this  section.  But  a  more  honorable  explanation 
is  that  the  extreme  fertility  of  the  soil  made  it  the  only  portion  of  Illinois  to 
escape  the  corn-famine  of  1835,  whence  inhabitants  of  neighboring  regions 
went  down,  as  of  old  they  went  down  into  Egypt,  to  buy  and  carry  back  corn. 

Elephant,  To  see  the,  American  slang,  to  see  life,  to  see  the  world, 
especially  the  underside  of  life  and  the  world.  There  is  at  least  a  very  inter- 
esting connection  between  this  phrase  and  an  East  Indian  custom  mentioned 
by  Montaigne.  Quoting  from  Arrian's  "  History  of  India,"  ch.  xvii.,  he  tells 
us  that,  though  chastity  was  held  in  high  esteem  in  India,  a  married  woman 
was  allowed  to  part  with  her  honor  in  exchange  for  an  elephant,  and  indeed 
gloried  in  the  fact  that  she  was  so  highly  estimated.  Barrere  and  Leland 
mention  as  another  possible  origin  for  the  phrase  an  old  ballad  of  a  farmer, 
who  while  driving  his  mare  along  the  highway  met  with  a  showman's  elephant, 
which  knocked  him  over,  spilt  his  milk,  and  destroyed  his  eggs.  The  farmer 
consoled  himself  for  his  loss  by  reflecting  that  he  had  at  least  seen  the 
elephant.     And  he  said, — 

Now  in  future  no  one  can  declare 

That  I've  not  seen  the  elephant, — neither  the  mare. 

Elzevirs,  the  general  name  given  to  the  productions  of  the  famous  printing- 
house  founded  by  Lewis  Elzevir  in  Leyden,  his  first  publication  bearing  date 
1583.  By  an  interesting  coincidence,  the  last  of  the  Aldines  is  dated  1583. 
Thus  the  new  house  obscurely  arose  just  when  their  great  predecessor  was 
declining.  Aldines  and  Elzevirs  are  always  linked  together  as  the  two  chiefest 
glories  of  the  bibliophile.  Yet  there  are  notable  contrasts  in  the  histories  of 
the  two  great  houses  and  in  their  publications.  Aldus  was  a  member  of  a 
great  family,  with  a  princely  love  of  learning  for  its  own  sake.  The  Elzevirs 
were  merely  successful  tradesmen, — crafty  money-grabbers,  who  pilfered  and 
pirated  whenever  they  had  a  chance.  And  even  Heinsius,  the  scholar  who 
supplied  what  Aldus  had  and  the  Elzevirs  lacked,  a  knowledge  of  letters,  was 
a  distinctly  unlovable  character,  full  of  malice  and  all  uncharitableness.  The 
Dutch  house,  therefore,  has  none  of  the  picturesque  interest  of  the  Venetian. 
Nevertheless  their  editions  are  typographically  as  well  as  intrinsically  beautiful. 
They  have  always  run  a  very  close  race  with  the  Aldines,  and  at  certain 
moments  have  even  distanced  them  in  the  favor  of  bibliomaniacs. 

There  were  fourteen  Elzevirs  in  all.  The  first  was  Lewis.  His  sixth  son, 
Bonaventure,  struck  out  in  the  line  which  has  given  the  Elzevirs  their  peculiar 
eminence  when,  in  1629,  he  commenced  the  publication  of  cheap  and  neat 
editions  of  the  classics  in  duodecimo.  After  the  death  of  Daniel  Elzevir,  in 
1680,  at  Amsterdam,  the  firm  rapidly  degenerated  in  the  hands  of  Abraham 
(the  second),  great-grandson  of  the  founder  of  the  house,  and  came  to  an 
inglorious  end  at  his  death,  in  1712. 

There  are  Elzevirs  and  Elzevirs,  as  the  beginner  in  bibliography  soon 
learns  to  his  cost.  And  then  there  are  Elzevirs  which  are  not  Elzevirs.  Not 
23* 


870  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

only  are  many  of  the  genuine  publications  of  the  house  practically  worthless 
(the  "good  dates"  range  only  from  about  1626  to  1680,  and  not  all  the  "good 
dates"  are  borne  by  valuable  examples),  but  it  comforteth  the  soul  to  know 
that  these  pirates  were  themselves  pirated.  Spurious  Elzevirs  are  as  thick  as 
blackberries.  More  than  one  hundred  and  fifty  are  known  to  experts.  There 
are  many  little  niceties  also  about  the  editions  which  no  one  could  intuitively 
know  unless  he  were  afflicted  with  some  form  of  hereditary  bibliomania.  Thus, 
the  most  desirable  of  all  Elzevir  rarities  is  the  Caesar  of  1635,  the  acknowl- 
edged masterpiece  of  the  house.  Bookmen  grow  rapturous  over  the  type, 
the  ornaments,  the  paper,  the  printing,  the  purity  of  the  text.  Now,  there 
were  three  impressions  of  this  masterpiece  issued  in  the  one  year,  1635. 
The  last  two  correct  the  only  imperfection  in  the  first  issue,  where  pages  149, 
335,  and  475  are  by  mistake  printed  as  153,  345,  and  375  respectively.  These 
are  worth  comparatively  little.  The  right  Caesar  with  the  wrong  pages  is 
worth  anywhere  from  twenty  to  fifty  pounds.  Another  anomaly :  the  Caesar 
is  the  acknowledged  masterpiece  of  the  Elzevirs,  therefore  it  is  the  most  highly 
prized  ?  Not  a  bit  of  it :  at  least  not  by  bibliomaniacs.  An  entirely  valueless 
cookery-book,  "  Le  Patissier  Fran9ois,"  printed  by  Lewis  and  Daniel  Elzevir 
in  1665,  sold  some  years  ago  for  four  hundred  pounds.  Yet  it  is  only  a  rare 
book  in  the  sense  that  it  is  extremely  scarce  in  the  market.  At  least  forty 
copies  are  known  to  exist. 

Ember-days  (in  Latin,  Jejuna  qtiatuor  tempora,  "the  four  fasting  sea- 
sons"), the  English  name  for  the  periods  of  fasting  and  prayer  which  the  Catholic 
and  other  liturgical  Churches  have  appointed  to  be  observed  respectively  in 
the  four  seasons  of  the  year.  They  are  the  Wednesday,  Friday,  and  Saturday 
after  the  first  Sunday  in  Lent,  after  Whit-Sunday,  after  September  14,  and  after 
December  13.  The  weeks  in  which  these  days  fall  are  called  Ember-weeks. 
Never  was  a  term  better  contrived  for  an  etymological  pitfall  than  this.  Bailey, 
rushing  in  with  that  cheerful  alacrity  which  aff'ords  its  quota  of  merriment  to 
the  more  fearsome  philological  angel  of  to-day,  derives  it  "  from  a  custom 
anciently  of  putting  Ashes  on  their  heads  on  those  Days,  in  Token  of  Hu- 
mility." But  no  such  custom  ever  existed.  It  is  a  pure  invention  to  account 
for  the  name.  Others  assert  that  the  Ember-days  are  so  called  because  they 
occur  in  Dec-ember  and  Sept-ember,  forgetting  that  they  occur  also  in  months 
that  have  no  such  convenient  ending.  A  still  more  ancient  authority,  Tarlton, 
in  "Newes  out  of  Purgatorie,"  describes  how  in  his  imaginary  place  of 
torture  "  One  pope  sat  with  a  smock  sleeve  about  his  necke,  and  that  was  he 
that  made  the  imbering  weekes,  in  honour  of  his  faire  and  beautiful  curtizen 
Imbra"  (p.  64  in  Shakespeare  Society  reprint).  Dr.  Murray,  who  thinks  it 
not  wholly  impossible  that  the  word  may  have  been  due  to  popular  etymology 
working  upon  some  vulgar  Latin  corruption  of  quatuor  tempora  (cf  German 
Quatcmber,  Ember-tide),  prefers  the  derivation  from  the  Old  English  ymbryne, 
period,  revolution  of  time.  No  doubt  a  fancied  connection  with  dust  and 
ashes  has  influenced  the  modern  form. 

Emblematic,  Figurate,  or  Shaped  Poems.  There  is  pity,  or  even 
forgiveness,  for  all  forms  of  human  folly,  imbecility,  error,  and  crime.  Yet  the 
makers  of  what  are  known  by  any  one  of  the  above  titles  strain  the  divinity 
of  forgiveness  to  an  almost  diabolic  tension.  A  famous  saint,  variously  speci- 
fied by  various  hagiologists,  used  to  say,  "There,  but  for  the  grace  of  God, 
goes  Anthony  of  Padua,"  or  what  not,  when  he  saw  a  thief,  a  murderer,  or 
other  malefactor  brought  to  the  bar  of  justice.  But  no  one  has  ever  said, 
"There,  but  for  the  grace  of  God,  goes  Brown,"  or  Jones,  or  Robinson,  when 
some  addle-pated  versifier  has  been  caught  red-handed  in  the  act  of  "shaping" 
a  poem.     No  one,  save  a  hardened  criminal  of  this  type,  has  ever  been  willing 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  "271 

to  admit  that  his  heart,  however  unregenerate,  however  unaided  from  above, 
would  stray  naturally  into  these  devious  paths  of  dulness.  Though  one's 
better  self  may  revolt  at  the  grotesque  horrors  of  the  mediaeval  hell,  one  feels 
that  not  even  the  theological  mind  has  ever  conceived  of  a  punishment  severe 
enough  to  castigate  these  trespassers  on  our  patience.  And  as  we  must 
long  in  vain  for  a  new  Dante  to  consign  them  to  some  as  yet  unimagined 
deep  of  deeps,  one  rejoices  at  the  castigation,  severe  in  itself,  yet  mild  in 
comparison,  which  the  critics  have  occasionally  inflicted.  Our  heart  goes  out 
with  a  great  leap  of  joy  to  honest  Samuel  Butler  when  he  takes  Edward 
Benlowes,  formerly  known  as  "  the  excellently  learned,"  places  him  across  his 
paternal  knee,  and  trounces  him  in  the  following  fashion  :  "There  is  no  feat 
of  activity,  nor  gambol  of  wit,  that  ever  was  performed  by  man,  from  him  that 
vaults  on  Pegasus  to  him  that  tumbles  through  the  hoop  of  an  anagram,  but 
Benlowes  has  got  the  mastery  of  it,  whether  it  be  high-rope  wit  or  low-rope 
wit.  He  has  all  sorts  of  echoes,  rebuses,  chronograms,  etc.  As  for  altars  and 
pyramids  in  poetry,  he  has  outdone  all  men  that  way ;  for  he  has  made  a 
gridiron  and  a  frying-pan  in  verse,  that  besides  the  likeness  in  shape,  the  very 
tone  and  sound  of  the  words  did  perfectly  represent  the  noise  that  is  made  by 
these  utensils.  When  he  was  a  captain,  he  made  all  the  furniture  of  his  horse, 
from  the  bit  to  the  crupper,  in  the  beaten  poetry,  every  verse  being  fitted  to 
the  proportion  of  the  thing  ;  as  the  bridle  of  moderation,  the  saddle  of  content, 
and  the  crupper  of  constancy ;  so  that  the  same  thing  was  both  epigram  and 
emblem,  even  as  the  mule  is  both  horse  and  ass."  (Character  of  a  Small  Poet.) 

Rare  Ben  Jonson  too  has  his  fling  at  these  pattern-cutting  poets,  who  he 
says  could  fashion 

A  pair  of  scissors  and  a  comb  in  verse. 
Dryden  has  scoffed  at  them,  and  Addison  has  gibbeted  them  above  all  other 
offenders  on  the  pillory  which  he  constructed  for  the  manufacturers  of  false 
wit.  But  what  is  the  method  of  this  offence  ?  It  consists  in  pieces  of  verse 
so  constructed,  by  due  arrangements  of  short  and  long  lines,  as  to  exhibit  the 
shapes  of  certain  physical  objects,  such  as  bottles,  glasses,  axes,  fans,  hearts, 
eggs,  saddles,  a  pair  of  gloves,  a  pair  of  pot-hooks,  a  pair  of  spectacles.  And, 
alas  that  we  must  acknowledge  it,  in  spite  of  the  degradation  of  the  offence, 
great  names  in  the  past,  great  names  even  in  the  immediate  present,  must  be 
grouped  among  the  offenders.  Indeed,  so  highly  was  it  thought  of  at  one  time 
that  the  very  name  of  the  reputed  inventor  has  been  preserved  to  us.  Let 
us  hasten  to  place  it  beside  that  of  the  rash  youth  who  fired  the  Ephesian 
dome.  Simmias  of  Rhodes  (flourished  about  B.C.  324), — how  does  that  look 
on  the  same  line  as  Erostratus.' 

He  has  left  us  three  good-sized  poems  cast  in  these  Procrustean  moulds, 
"The  Wings,"  "The  Egg,"  and  "The  Hatchet."  The  shape  of  every  stanza 
in  each  poem  corresponds  with  its  title.  So  greatly  were  these  esteemed  in 
the  seventeenth  century  that  an  Italian  named  Fortunio  Liceti  compiled  an 
encyclopaedia  (published  in  Paris,  1635)  whose  contents  were  entirely  devoted 
to  the  exploitation  of  their  beauties. 

Classic  antiquity  has  left  us  other  evidences  of  the  fact  that  these  outrages 
had  a  certain  vogue  even  at  the  most  flourishing  period  of  Greek  poetry.  To 
the  honor  of  the  Augustan  age  of  the  Romans  it  should  be  added  that  the 
Latin  specimens  that  have  come  down  to  us  belong  to  the  decadence  of  the 
Empire  or  to  mediaeval  times.  The  only  portion  of  the  globe  where  em- 
blematic verses  still  survive  is  in  the  East,  especially  in  China  and  Japan, 
where  we  are  told  that  they  are  still  held  in  high  esteem,  so  that  poems  are 
still  fashioned  in  the  forjn  of  men's  faces  or  the  bodies  of  cows  or  other 
animals.  The  following  curious  specimen  is  given  by  Mr.  W.  R.  Alger  as  an 
effort  of  Hindoo  ingenuity.     The  lines  of  this  erotic  triplet  are  so  arranged 


272 


HANDY-BOOK  OF 


that  the  first  represents  a  bow,  the  second  its  string,  the  third  an  arrow  aimed 
at  the  heart  of  the  poet's  Dulcinea. 


the    fairest 


^// 


I 


Those  charms  to  win,  with  all  my  empire  I  would  gladly  part. 
The  sixteenth  and  seventeenth  centuries  were  the  golden  age  of  emblem- 
atical poetry  in  Europe.  And  heading  the  list  of  English  word-torturers 
stands  so  good  and  great  a  man  as  George  Herbert.  We  quote  two  speci- 
mens, and  then  pass  on  with  our  eyes  veiled,  to  avoid  gazing  too  intently  on 
a  good  man's  shame  : 

The  Altar. 


A  Broken  Altar,  Lord,  Thy  servant  rears. 
Made  of  a  heart,  and   cemented  with  tears : 

Whose  parts  are  as  Thy  hand  did  frame  ; 
No    workman's    tool    hath    touch'd    the 


A  Heart  alone 
Is  such  a  stone. 
As  nothing  hut 
Thy  power  doth  cut. 
Wherefore  each  part 
Of  my  hard  heart 
Meets  in  this  frame. 
To  praise  Thy  name  : 


That,   if   I    chance   to    hold    my    peace. 

These    stones   to   praise    Thee    may   not 

cease. 

Oh,    let    Thy    blessed    Sacrifice    be    mine. 

And     sanctify    this    Altar    to    be    Thine. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


273 


The  next  is  quaint  enougli,  but  one  has  to  make  believe  a  good  deal  in  order 
to  detect  the  emblematic  resemblance  : 


Easter 


Wings. 


The  following  anonymous  effort  explains  itself  to  the  eye  at  once ; 
The  Cross. 

Blest  they  who  seek. 

While  in  their  youth. 

With     spirit     meek, 

The  way  of  truth  : 
To  them  the  sacred  Scriptures  now  display 
Christ  as  the  only  true  and  living  way. 
His  precious  blood  on  Calvary  was  given 
To  make  them  heirs  of  endless  bliss  in  heaven  ; 
And  e'en  on  earth  the  child  of  God  can  trace 
The  glorious  blessings  of  his  Saviour's  grace. 

For    them    He   bore 

His  Father's  frown ; 

For  them    He   wore 

The  thorny  Crown ; 

Nailed  to  ihe  Cross, 

Endured     its    pain. 

That  His   life's   loss 

Might  be  their  gain. 

Then  haste  to  choose 

That     better     part, 

Nor      dare      refuse 

The  Lord  thy  heart. 

Lest      He     declare, 

"  I  know  you  not," 

And     deep     despair 

Should  be  your  lot. 

Now  look  to  Jesus,  who  on  Calvary  died. 

And  trust  on  Him  alone  who  there  was  crucified. 


274  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  following  appears  to  us,  on  the  whole,  the  best  in  the  language  : 
Ode  to  an  Old  Violin. 

Torn, 

Worn, 

Oppress'd,  I  moum ! 

Bad, 

Sad, 

Three-quarters  mad ! 

Money  gone. 

Credit   none  ; 

Duns  at  door. 

Half  a  score ; 

Head  in  pain, 

Rack'd  again ; 

Children  ailing. 

Mother    railing, 

Billy    whooping, 

Betsy      Grouping, 

Besides   poor  Joe 

With    festered    toe. 

Come,  then,  my  fiddle. 

Come,  my  time-worn  friend. 

With  gay  and  brilliant  sounds 

Me  sweet  though  transient  solace  lend. 

Thy  polished   neck   in   close  embrace 

I    clasp   while  joy   illumes    my  face. 

When  o'er  thy  strings  I  draw  my  bow. 

My  drooping  spirit  pants  to  rise; 

A  lively  strain  I  touch, — and  lo ! 

I  seem  to  mount  above  the  skies. 

There  on  Fancy's  wings  I  soar, 

Heedless  of  the  duns  at  door. 

Oblivious  all !    I  feel  my  woes  no  more ; 

But     skip     o'er     the     strings. 

As     my     old     fiddle     sings, 

"  Cheerily,   O    merrily  go  I 

Presto  I       good      master. 

You     very     well     know, 

I     will     find     music. 

If  you  will  find  bow. 

From  K  up  in  alto,  to  G  down  below." 

Fatigued,  I   pause    to   change  the   time 

For    some    adagio    solemn    and    sublime. 

With  graceful  action  moves  the  sinuous  arm ; 

My  heart,  responsive  to  the   soothing   charm. 

Throbs  equally,  whilst  every  health-corroding  care 

Lies  prostrate,  vanquished,  by  the  mellifluous  air. 

More  and  more  plaintive  grown,  my  eyes  with  tears  o'erflow. 

And  Resignation  mild  soon  smooths  my  wrinkled  brow. 

Reedy  Hautboy  may  squeak,  wailing  Flauto  may  squall. 

The  Serpent  may  grunt,  and  the  Trombone  may  bawl ; 

But  thou,  my  old   Fiddle,  art  prince  of  them   all. 

Could  e'en  Dryden  return  thy  praise  to  rehearse. 

His  Ode  to  Cecilia  would  seem  rugged  verse. 

Now  to   thy  case,  in   flannel  warm  to  lie. 

Till  called  again  to  pipe  thy  master's 

eye. 

Here,  as  an  offset,  we  give  a  specimen  where  all  the  rules  of  the  game, 
such  as  they  are,  are  violated.  The  sole  ingenuity  in  this  form  of  literary 
trifling  consists  in  so  adjusting  the  length  of  poetical  lines  that  the  printer  by 
merely  following  "  copy"  will  produce  the  desired  emblem  or  figure.  But  the 
subjoined  example  is  simply  prose  arbitrarily  broken  up  into  appropriate 
lengths,  the  whole  ingenuity  being  on  the  part  of  the  printer.  Yet  such 
specimens  are  not  uncommon  in  England. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  27^ 

The  Wineglass. 

Who  hath  woe?  Who  hath  sorrow?  Who 

hath  contentions  ?     Who  hath  wounds 

without   cause  ?     Who  hath  redness 

of   eyes?     They  that   tarry   long 

at       the     wine !       they       that 

go     to     seek     mixed     wine ! 

Look    not    thou    upon    the 

wine    when     it     is     red, 

when  it          giveth 

its  colour 

in  the 

CUP, 

when  it 

moveth  itself 

aright. 

At 

the  last  it 

biteth  like  a  serpent, 

and  stingeth  like  an  adder ! 

The  French  rarely  offend  in  this  fashion.  Pannard,  who  was  an  expert, 
has  given  us  an  emblematic  wineglass  which  is  a.  wineglass,  for  it  could  be 
printed  in  no  other  shape  without  violating  its  poetical  integrity : 

Nous  ne  pouvons  rien  trouver  sur  la  terre 

Qui  soit  si  bon  ni  si  beau  que  le  verre. 

Du  tendre  amour  berceau  charmant, 

C'est      toi,     champetre      fougere, 

C'est     toi    qui    sers    i     faire 

L'heureux    instrument 

Oil    souvent     petille. 

Mousse,  et  brille 

Le  jus  qui  rend 

Gai,    riant. 

Content. 

Quelle       douceur 

II  porte  au  cceur ! 

Tot 

Tot 

Tot 


Qu'on     m'en 

donne 

Vite  et  comme 

il  faut. 

Tot 

Tot 

Tot 

Qu'on     m'en 
Vite  et  comme 

donne 

il  faut. 

L'on  y  voit  sur  ses  flots  cheris 

Nager  I'allegresse 

et  les  ris. 

A  rhomboidal  dirge,  by  George  Wither,  is  good  enough  of  its  kind ; 

Farewell, 

Sweet  groves,  to  you 

You   hills   that  highest  dwell. 

And    all    you     humble    vales,   adieu  I 

You    wanton    brooks    and    solitary   rocks. 

My  dear  companions  all,  and  you,  my  tended  flocks! 

Farewell,  my  pipe  !  and  all  those  pleasing  songs  whose  strains 

Delighted  once  the  fairest   dancing  nymphs  upon  the  plains. 

You    discontents,  whose   deep    and    over-deadly   smart 

Have    without    pity    broke    the     truest    heart. 

Sighs,    tears,    and    every    sad     annoy. 

That  erst  did  with  me  dwell. 

And    others    joy. 

Farewell  I 


276  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  last  example  on  our  list  is  this  remarkable  triumph  of  ingenuity  on  the 
subject  of  the  Crucifixion.  Mr.  Bombaugh  gives  it  in  his  "  Gleanings  for  the 
Curious,"  and  calls  it  a  curious  piece  of  antiquity.  But  the  structure  of  the 
verse,  the  metre,  and  the  rhythm  indicate  that  it  is  not  earlier  than  the  last 
half  of  the  seventeenth  century,  and  may  be  much  more  recent : 


My  God !   My  God ! 


vers  of  my  tears 


I  come  to  Thee  ; 
To  hear  me  wretch,  oh 
Did  never  close. 
Let  not,  O  God  I 
And  numberless,  bet 
And  my  poor  soul  be  t 


Thou, 


Lord !  remember 


I  CO 

Than 

Beth 

My  crown  his 

And  th 

Quit  my  ac- 

O  beg  for 

Thou  Chri 

The  liv 

And  but 

Alio 

For  by  th 

Oh  hear 

Lests 

O  Lord !  my 

In 

And  at  the  do 

ToUv 


not.  Lord,  wit 
at  I  by  my  S 
his  wound 
oms.  my  dea 
my  bles 
unts,  with 
my  h 
forgi 

g  fount,  the  li 
thee 

er  helps  a 
cross  my 
en  then,  wh 
and  death  sin 
od  !  my  way 
eath  defe 

with  the 


bow  down  thy  blessed  ears 

let  thine  eyes,  which  sleep 

behold  a  sinner  weep. 

my  God  !  my  faults,  though  ] 

een  thy  mercy-seat 

rown,  since  we  are  taught. 


hou  b 
the 

ne. 

If 

eest 

sough 

any  0 

r  merit 

viour 

C.h 

rist  inherit : 

my  balm, 
h  belo 

hisst 

ri 

pes  my  bliss, 

St 

in  his, 

Redeemer 

Sa 

viour,  God  1 

old  thy 

V 

engeful  rod ; 

pes  on  the 

e 

are  set. 

e,  as  well 

as  pay 

th 

e  debt. 

e,  the  wa 

I  know. ■ 

whither 

houldlgo? 

e  vain,  gn 

e 

thine  to  me; 

aving  hea 

1 

th  must  be. 

t  I  with 

f 

aith  implore. 

me  for  ev 

e 

r  more. 

s  direct 

a 

nd  keep. 

d.thatfror 

n  thee  I 

n 

e-er  slip 

e  be  raise 

d 

then. 

Sweet  Jes 

us 

say.  Amen  1 

Fully  to  enjoy  all  the  varied  beauties  of  this  masterpiece  an  explanation  is 
necessary.  The  middle  cross  represents  our  Saviour ;  those  on  either  side, 
the  two  thieves.  On  the  top  and  down  the  middle  cross  is  our  Saviour's 
expression,  "  My  God  !  My  God  !  why  hast  thou  forsaken  me  .>"'  and  on  the 
top  of  the  cross  is  the  Latin  inscription  "  INRI," — Jesus  Nazarenus  Rex 
Judaeorum, — i.e.,  Jesus  of  Nazareth,  King  of  the  Jews.  Upon  the  cross  on 
the  right  hand  is  the  prayer  of  one  of  the  thieves, — "  Lord  !  remember  me 
when  thou  comest  into  thy  kingdom."  On  the  left-hand  cross  is  the  saying, 
or  reproach,  of  the  other, — "  If  thou  beest  the  Christ,  save  thyself  and  us." 
The  versification  begins  at  the  top  of  the  middle  cross, — "  My  God  !  My 
God  !  In  rivers  of  my  tears."  The  whole  is  a  piece  of  tolerable  verse,  which 
is  to  be  read  across  all  the  columns,  making  as  many  lines  as  there  are  letters 
in  the  alphabet.     The  authorship  is  unknown. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


277 


Emendation,  Conjectural.  The  ways  of  the  critic,  especially  when 
commenting  on  a  difficult  passage  in  his  favorite  author,  are  full  of  instruction 
to  the  learned,  of  gladsome  delight  to  the  curious.  Sometimes  he  insists  on 
reading  all  sorts  of  subtle  meanings  into  this  or  that  line,  and  then  stands 
aghast  with  admiration  at  the  greatness  of  the  mind  that  could  think  the 
things  he  himself  has  invented  for  it.  Sometimes  he  gives  it  up  in  despair, 
and  decides  that  the  author  never  did  say  what  has  been  attributed  to  him 
but  that  the  mistake  of  an  amanuensis  or  a  printer  has  been  allowed  to  go 
forth  to  the  world  unchallenged.  Then  he  sets  himself  the  task  of  discover- 
ing what  it  was  that  the  author  did  say.  Occasionally,  it  must  be  owned,  he 
suggests  a  felicitous  alteration.  The  author  may  or  may  not  have  said  this 
but  the  alternative  proposed  is  what  the  author  ought  to  have  said.  There  is 
no  finer  instance  than  the  passage  '"a  babbled  of  green  fields"  in  the  descrip- 
tion of  Falstaff's  death  {Henry  K,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  3).  The  folio  has  "a  table 
of  green  fields,"  which  is  mere  nonsense  in  spite  of  all  efforts  to  elucidate  it. 
Pope  conjectured  that  this  was  a  stage  direction  addressed  to  a  property-man 
named  Greenfields  which  had  somehow  got  mixed  up  with  the  text.  This  is 
not  a  joke ;  indeed,  it  imposed  upon  Johnson.  It  was  Theobald  who  made 
sense  and  poetry  out  of  the  passage  by  turning  "a  table"  into  '"a  babbled." 

But  more  frequently  the  shoe  has  shifted, — the  commentator  has  put  his 
foot  into  it.     A  note  in  Bell's  edition  of  Dryden's  "  Absalom  and  Achitophel," 
Part  I.,  supplies  an  instance.     The  editor's  ear  is  offended  by  the  line 
By  natural  instinct  they  change  their  lord. 

This,  he  says,  is  the  only  line  in  which  the  melody  is  flattened  into  prose. 
He  suggests  that  a  slight  alteration  would  redeem  the  metre  : 
How  they  by  natural  instinct  change  their  lord. 

The  silliness  of  this  note  is  equalled  only  by  its  impertinence.  The  b'ne 
is  metrically  perfect  as  it  stands.  Natural  has  its  three  full  syllables,  and  in- 
stinct is  accented  on  its  second  syllable,  the  usual  method  in  Dryden's  time,  as 
in  Shakespeare's. 

The  champion  instance,  however,  is  supplied  by  Dr.  Bentley's  famous  (or 
infamous)  edition  of  Milton.  It  was  issued  in  1732,  and  contained  no  less 
than  a  thousand  conjectural  emendations  of  the  text.  The  word  emendations 
should  be  pronounced  with  a  distinct  sarcastic  emphasis  which  can  be  only 
faintly  indicated  by  italics.  Bentley's  premiss,  his  original  proposition,  was  as 
follows.  Milton,  as  every  one  knows,  was  blind  when  he  produced  the  "  Para- 
dise Lost."  He  dictated  it  to  an  amanuensis.  Now,  it  is  obvious  that  through 
mistake  or  inadvertence  the  amanuensis  might  frequently  have  set  down  a 
word  similar  in  sound  to  that  dictated  by  the  poet,  but  of  very  different  sig- 
nification. So  far  we  can  follow  the  argument  with  a  clear  conscience.  But 
when  the  doctor  goes  on^  urge  further  that  the  amanuensis  may  have  inter- 
polated whole  verses  of  his  own  composition  into  the  poem  without  the  poet's 
being  any  the  wiser,  we  can  only  reply  that  the  bare  fact  is  a  possibility,  but 
that  there  is  no  evidence,  intrinsic  or  extrinsic,  to  support  it.  And  when, 
accepting  this  wild  possibility  as  a  fact,  he  goes  on  to  imagine  what  it  was  that 
Milton  really  did  say,  and  substitutes  those  imaginings  in  lieu  of  the  lines  as 
they  stand  in  the  book,  we  cry  out  at  this  marvellous  exhibition  of  editorial 
vanity  and  impertinence.  And  the  trouble  is  increased  when  we  find  the 
doctor  putting  his  clumsy  hoof  into  the  very  choicest  parterre  of  Miltonic 
fancy  and  trampling  the  flowers  into  a  tangled  mess  of  absurdity.  Nor  are  our 
outraged  feelings  soothed  by  the  extraordinary  mixture  of  effrontery  and 
vanity  in  the  statement  that,  in  the  absence  of  manuscripts  to  collate,  he  must 
rely  on  his  own  "sagacity"  and  "happy  conjecture." 
24 


27S  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

To  take  a  few  examples.  Milton  is  describing  how  Satan's  speech  was 
received  by  the  fallen  angels  : 

He  spake  ;  and,  to  confirm  his  words,  out-flew 
Millions  of  flaming  swords,  drawn  from  the  thighs 
Of  mighty  cherubim  :  the  sudden  blaze 
Far  round  illumined  Hell ;   highly  they  raged 
Against  the  Highest ;  and  fierce  with  grasped  arms 
Clashed  on  their  sounding  shields  the  din  of  war. 
Hurling  defiance  toward  the  vault  of  Heaven. 

A  forcible  and  splendid  passage.  Not  a  word  but  carries  exactly  the  right 
sound  and  the  right  sense.  Not  an  epithet  could  be  changed  without  loss. 
The  doctor,  however,  thinks  otherwise.  In  the  second  line  he  substitutes 
blades  for  swords,  in  the  fifth  swords  for  arms,  in  the  sixth  walls  for  vault.  The 
first  and  second  emendations  are  bad  enough,  the  third  utterly  ruins  a  noble 
conception. 

But  worse  remains  behind.     One  of  the  finest  lines  in  Milton  is  this : 

No  light,  but  rather  darkness  visible. 
This  expression  shocks  the  doctor,  who  brings  his  sagacity  to  bear  upon  it 
and  produces  this  happy  conjecture  : 

No  light,  but  rather  a  transpicuous  gloom. 

The  seventy-fourth  line  of  the  same  book  offends  the  nice  critical  taste  of 
this  iconoclast : 

As  from  the  centre  thrice  to  the  utmost  pole. 
His  ear  rebels  at  what  he  considers  a  "  vicious  verse."     He  would  away  with 
it  altogether  and  in  its  stead  insert  the  following  line  of  his  own  composition : 

Distance  which  to  express  all  measure  fails. 

In  the  second  book  there  is  this  fine  phrase  : 

Our  torments  also  may  in  length  of  time 
Become  our  elements. 

One  can  hardly  understand  the  densely  prosaic  structure  of  the  mind  which 
would  seek  to  destroy  every  particle  of  poetry  by  changing  the  first  line  thus: 

Then,  as  'twas  well  observed,  our  torments  may 

Become  our  elements. 

One  other  instance  must  suffice.  It  is  as  flagrant  as  any,  and  is  supported 
by  a  curious  bit  of  reasoning  which  should  be  commended  to  the  careful 
attention  of  all  emendators. 

At  the  conclusion  of  Adam's  interview  with  the  angel,  Milton  says, — 
So  parted  they,  the  angel  up  to  heaven 
From  the  thick  shade  ;  and  Adam  to  his  bower. 

Now  for  the  doctor's  argument :  "  After  the  conversation  between  Adam 
and  the  angel  in  the  bower,  it  may  be  well  presumed  that  our  first  parent 
waited  on  his  heavenly  guest  at  his  departure  tofcome  little  distance  from 
it,  till  he  began  to  take  his  flight  towards  heaven."  Therefore  the  poet  could 
not  with  propriety  say  that  the  angel  parted  from  the  thick  shade — i.e.,  the 
bower — to  go  to  heaven.  And  if,  on  the  other  hand,  Adam  attended  the 
angel  no  farther  than  the  door  or  entrance  of  the  bower,  then  "  how  could 
Adam  return  to  his  bower  if  he  never  left  it  ?"  By  a  happy  conjecture  the 
doctor  succeeds  not  only  in  vindicating  the  grand  old  gardener's  respect 
for  the  social  amenities,  but  in  securing  the  logical  integrity  of  the  verse, 
as  thus : 

So  parted  they,  the  angel  up  to  heaven, 

Adam  to  ruminate  on  past  discourse. 

It  is  pleasant  to  know  that  this  edition  of  Milton  was  received  with  a  chorus 
of  derision  in  its  own  day,  and  was  forthwith  cast  into  the  limbo  of  oblivion, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  279 

where  only  the  delvers  in  forgotten  curios  have  disturbed  it.  The  following 
epigram  was  of  contemporary  origin  : 

On  Milton's  Executioner. 

Did  Milton's  prose,  O  Charles  !  thy  death  defend? 

A  furious  foe,  unconscious  proves  a  friend  ; 

On  Milton's  verse  does  Bentley  comment?  know 

A  weak,  officious  friend  becomes  a  foe. 

While  he  would  seem  his  author's  fame  to  further. 

The  murtherous  critic  has  avenged  thy  murther. 

Pope's  lines  are  better  known  : 

Bentley,  long  to  wrangling  schools  confined. 
And  but  by  books  acquainted  with  mankind. 
To  Milton  lending  sense,  to  Horace  wit. 
He  makes  them  write  what  never  poet  writ. 

Bentley  was  not  the  only  person  who  sought  to  amend  Milton.  Atterbury 
was  congratulated  on  "  a  happy  reading  which  vindicated  Milton  from  degrading 
his  style  by  a  very  vile  pun  :" 

And  brought  into  this  world  (a  world  of  woe) ; 

the  happy  reading  consisting  in  the  parentheses,  which  utterly  destroy  the 
meaning  of  the  line.  What  German  critic  was  it  who  amended  Shakespeare 
as  follows  i" — 

Finds  tongues  in  trees,  stones  in  the  running  brooks. 

Sermons  in  books,  and  good  in  everything. 

One  of  the  finest  hymns  in  the  English  language  is  Cardinal  Newman's 
"  Le<..',  Kindly  Light."  But  comparatively  few  people  know  it  in  its  integrity. 
Properly,  it  consists  of  three  verses.  A  fourth,  which  may  be  found  in  most 
Protestant  Episcopal  hymnals,  was  added  by  Dr.  Bickersteth,  the  author  of 
"  Vesterday,  To-Day,  and  Forever."  The  genuine  verses,  moreover,  have  in 
various  American  compilations  been  tinkered  out  of  shape  and  harmony. 
Below  will  be  found  the  correct  and  the  incorrect  versions,  the  incorrect 
being  printed  in  italics  : 

Lead,  kindly  Light,  amid  the  encircling  gloom. 
Send  kindly  light  amid  the  encircling  gloom. 
Lead  Thou  me  on  ; 
And  lead  me  on  ! 
The  night  is  dark,  and  I  am  far  from  home. 
The  night  is  dark,  and  J  am  far  from  home 
Lead  Thou  me  on. 
Lead  Thou  me  on  ! 
Keep  Thou  my  feet ;  I  do  not  ask  to  see 
Keep  Thou  my  feet ;  /  do  not  ask  to  see 
The  distant  scene ;  one  step  enough  for  me. 
The  distant  scene  ;  one  step's  enough  for  me. 

I  was  not  ever  thus,  nor  prayed  that  Thou 
I  was  not  ever  thus,  nor  prayed  that  Thou 

Shouldst  lead  me  on  ; 

Shouldst  lead  me  on  ! 
I  '.oved  to  choose  and  see  my  path  ;  but  now 
/  la^-ed  to  choose  and  see  my  path  ;  but  now 

Lead  Thou  me  on. 

Lead  Thou  me  on  I 
I  loved  the  parish  day  ;  and,  spite  of  fears, 
/  loved  day's  dazzling  light,  and  spite  of  fears 
Pride  ruled  my  will :  remember  not  past  years. 
Pride  ruled  my  u-ill :  remember  not  past  years. 
So  long  Thy  power  has  blest  me,  sure  it  still 
So  long  Thy  power  hat/,  blessed  me,  surely  still 

Will  lead  mc  on 

'  Twill  lead  »•*  on 


28o  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  night  is  gone , 
And  with  the  morn  those  a  gjf^^^^^^^^ 

Dr.  Charles  S.  Robinson,  who.  ^.t  ^^^^^'^S^i:^ ^:^^. 
lection  originally  ^^^^fJ^^^Zr^'  has  be!^.  blamed  for  all  the  emendations 
baptized  "  Songs  of  the  Sanctuary     nas  Newman's  dea  h,  Dr. 

But  in  a  letter  to  the   C"^f 7f  jT'^j^",'    e  of  J,e  first  line:  "  Who  changed 
Robinson  pleads  ^^^'J  flj'?  '^^t^^^o  ^n^  ^  d^f  s  dazzling  light' m  the 
that  second  line  to 'And  If  ad  me  o,^  'off    he  two  commas  before  and  after 
place  of  'the  garish   day;    ^J"'.^;'""  ^  capital  to  personify  it;    who  con- 
Might'  so  beginning  the  word  without   a  capi  ^v  ^^.^^  ^;„  .,  ^ho 
eluded  that  'surely  still  'TwiU'  -'^%^V ^/'^^^J'^U  torrent,'  and  smoothed 
ingeniously  got  rid  of  'moor  and   en     or      crag            ^^^  ^^^.^^^^  .  ^^^^ 
down  everything  to  the  ^"d.tiona     dreary  do        ^^  ^hat  '  tinkering'  was  done 
sorrow,'-!  am  sure  I  ^^nno    conjecture                          .^^^^  ^^.^  ^^^^^^  contamed 
in  our  shop."     The  coPY  ^^he  ^Y^-;  ^s  fj^          ^            ^^  ^^  ."'^^[•'^"PP^H^t 
all  these  changes      It  h^d  been  sem  to                        „  ^ho  invited  his  special 
by  "one  of  the  highest  authorities  in  me                   ^.^  ^^  information  as  to 
attention  to  this  above  al  .^^^^^i^?.^' J  then  went  on  to  remark  that  when  he 
the  authorship.     D-".  R°St,v  been^n  ucl"  obscured  by  a  printer's  m>stake 
found  it  the  piece  had  ev'de'n  Y  b^J^  \  ^,^      _     ^^  j^;^  i„  manuscript.        I 
concerning  one  word  in  ^^tf'ir/^^fj'.^d  fastidiously  tasteful  way,'  says  Ur 
recall  his  look  as,  in  his  ch^^'^^5;;;"»'J,^";oceeded  to  point  out  that  m  writing 
Robinson  in  the  Congregatwnalst,^^\^^oz^             ^.H^  ^^^  ^^   ^^^^^  ^^^     ,he 
the  letter  L  many  persons  formed    ^  Jj^Y        ^,^         ,^  ^he  compositor  had 
letter  n  when  closed  up  ^t Jl^  ^"P/^^^^^^^^^^  3  f,ct  the  line  began  w.tb  what 
most  likely  missed  the  s'g"'^^'^?";'', '^kindly  Light,  amid.'     This  would  have 
destroyed  the  whole  meaning,-  Le^^;S'lh,|lv 'light  amid  the  encrchng 
?o  be  corrected  so  that  it  ^}?>l  Z^^J^of  tiorl    ymn,  and  it  could  be  put 
gloom  ;'  then  something  might    e  made  of  it  tor        y.^      ^  thought  the  piece 
in  the  portion  of  the  book  for  t'^e  ^hoir  w  s                     ^^^  ^^^^  ^^,^  ^       ho 
was  very  beautiful  ;  nobody  over  this  side  °' ^.^             tjon  ago.     1  pu^  it  joy- 
Tompo  ed  the  poetry.     This  was  near  y  a  whole  gnerat^  ^.^g^^^^^^^^^ 
ousW  into  my  book,  and  eventualy,  doing    he  best^     popular  with  the  leading 
metre,  had  it  set  to  a  simple  chant,  and  it  U^am     p  ,  ^^^^^^^  ^ho  put 
Anger's  around  town      All  this  time    he  R-^^^^  ignorance  of 
it  into  Lyra  Aposto  ica  was  l  v,n^  m  B.rm.^^^^^^^^ 

in  connection  with  ^^J^^^/^^^^  ^ight,  amid  the  encirCin.  gloom. 

And  lead  me  on !  original  title,  "  The  Pillar 

But  in  the  true  readii^g,  and  especiaHy  unde  b«  ong  .^^^^^^^^^^^  .^  ^^^ 
of  he  Cloud,"  it  would  have  been  mere  du-%^^„„^  P"^^"/,^^^,!"':,"^ 
Testament  exposition  has  taught  that  it  wa^  ^^  ^j^^^  hy  day 

whoTd  Israel  through  the  wilderness  in  che  form.^^^  ^P^^^^^  ^^^^^^  ^^^^^^ 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  281 

Now  that  the  sun  is  gleaming  bright. 

Implore  we,  bending  low. 
That  He,  the  uncreated  Light,  » 

May  guide  us  as  we  go. 

And  while  the  hours  in  order  flow, 

O  Christ,  securely  fence 
Our  gates,  beleaguered  by  the  foe. 

The  gate  of  every  sense. 

An  excellent  satire  on  critical  emendation  is  contained  in  Franklin's  story  of 
how  he  was  applied  to  for  an  inscription  by  one  John  Thompson,  just  setting 
up  in  business  as  a  hatter.  Franklin  composed  the  following  sign  :  "John 
Thompson,  hatter,  makes  and  sells  hats  for  ready  money."  But  one  friend 
said,  "  It  is  too  long  ;  nobody  will  stop  to  read  it ;  besides,  it  is  tautology,  because 
a  person  who  makes  a  hat  is  a  hatter."  Out  came  the  word  hatter.  The  next 
friend  appealed  to  objected,  "  If  you  say  for  ready  money,  very  few  people  will 
enter  your  shop."  The  objection  was  sustained  and  the  offending  words  elided. 
"Nay,"  cried  a  third  critic,  "  nobody  will  care  a  farthing  wiio  makes  the  hats, 
so  long  as  they  are  good."  So  the  words  makes  and  were  crossed  out.  "John 
Thompson  sells  hats"  remained.  The  last  friend  said,  "  It  is  ridiculous  to  tell 
people  you  sell  hats,  for  nobody  will  think  you  such  a  fool  as  to  give  them 
away."  Finally  nothing  was  left  but  "John  Thompson."  In  conclusion, 
Franklin  remarks  that  tiiis  experience  decided  him  never  again  to  write  any- 
thing that  would  be  subjected  to  the  revision  of  others. 

"  Who  was  that  silly  body,"  asked  the  Autocrat  of  the  Breakfast-Table, 
"that  wanted  Burns  to  alter  'Scots  wha  hae,'  so  as  to  lengthen  the  last  line, 
thus  !"— 

'Edward  !'  chains  and  slavery." 

And  in  his  humorous  way  he  goes  on  to  invent  an  appropriate  anecdote.  He 
had  been  applied  to  for  a  poem  to  be  read  at  a  certain  celebration.  Under- 
standing that  it  was  to  be  a  festive  and  convivial  occasion,  he  had  ordered 
himself  accordingly.  But  it  seems  that  the  president  for  the  occasion  was 
what  is  called  a  teetotaler.  So  back  came  the  poem,  corrected  and  amended, 
with  the  following  letter  : 

DiAR  Sir, — Your  poem  gives  good  satisfaction  to  the  committee.  The  sentiments  expressed 
•with  reference  to  liquor  are  not,  however,  those  generally  entertained  by  this  community.  I 
have  tfcerefore  consulted  the  clergyman  of  this  place,  who  has  made  some  slight  changes,  which 
he  thinks  will  remove  all  objections,  and  keep  the  valuable  portions  of  the  poem.  Please  to 
inform  me  of  your  charge  for  said  poem.     Our  means  are  limited,  etc.,  etc.. 

Yours  with  respect. 
Here  it  .is,  with  the  slight  alterations  : 

Come  !  fill  a  fresh  bumper, — ^for  why  should  we  go 


While  the  Haeetar  still  reddens  our  cups  as  they  flow ! 

decoction 
Pour  out  the  rich  juicoD  still  bright  with  the  sun, 

dye-stuff 
Till  o'er  the  bnmmed  crystal  the -ntbtes- shall  run. 

haJf-ripened  apples 
The  fUfpUyglebed  cluetani  their  life-dews  have  bled ; 

taste  sugar  of  lead 

How  svreet  is  tht  breath  of  the  fragrance  thcy^hod  ! 

rank  poisons  mines  .'.'.'.' 

For  summer's  lasHresfcfrTlie  hid  in  the  wi»es,~" 

stable-boys  smoking  long-nineS 
That  werp.  garnered  by  ■Bia;4eB6  who  laughed  through  the  vino*. 
24* 


282  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

scowl  howl  scoff  sneer 

Then  a  smile,  and  a  glass,  and  a  toaot,  and  a «bear, 

strychnine  and  whiskey,  and  ratsbane  and  beefg 
For  all  the  good  wine,  and  we've  some  of  it  here 
In  cellar,  in  pantry,  in  attic,  in  hall, 
Down,  down  with  the  tyrant  that  masters  us  all  I 
Lung  live  the  gny  ocrvant  that  laughs  for  tie  oil  !■ 
In  the  recent  editions  of  the  "  Autocrat"  Dr.  Holmes  mentions  a  British 
Reviewer  who  was  quite  indignant  at  the  treatment  this  "  convivial  song"  had 
received.     No  committee,  he  thought,  would  dare  to  treat  a  Scotch  author  in 
that  way.     "  I  could  not  help  being  reminded  of  Sydney  Smith,  and  of  the 
surgical  operation  he  proposed  in  order  to  put  a  pleasantry  into  the  head  of  a 
North  Briton." 

Emerald  Isle.  This  epithet  was  first  applied  to  Ireland  by  Dr.  William 
Drennan,  in  the  following  lines  : 

When  Erin  first  rose  from  the  dark-swelling  flood, 
God  blessed  the  green  island  ;  he  saw  it  was  good. 
Tlie  Emerald  of  Europe,  it  sparkled,  it  shone. 
In  the  ring  of  this  world  the  most  precious  stone. 

****** 
Arm  of  Erin,  prove  strong  :  but  be  gentle  as  brave. 
And,  uplifted  to  strike,  still  be  ready  to  save ; 
Nor  one  feeling  of  vengeance  presume  to  defile 
The  cause  or  the  men  of  the  Emerald  Isle. 

Stanza  on  Erin  in  Glendalloch,  and  other  Poems. 
The  allusion  is  to  the  brilliant  green  of  the  herbage  and  foliage  of  Ireland. 

Eminence,  Bad.     The  term  is  first  used  by  Milton,  who  has, — 
High  on  a  throne  of  royal  state,  which  far 
Outshone  the  wealth  of  Ormus  and  of  Ind, 
****** 
Satan  exalted  sat,  by  merit  raised 
To  that  bad  eminence. 

Paradise  Lost,  Book  ii. 

It  is  curious  to  note  that  while  Satan  by  repute  of  supreme  wickedness  is 
raised  to  eminence,  eminence  fer  se  is  sufficient  to  raise  the  repute  of  bad- 
ness : 

Censure  is  the  tax  a  man  pays  to  the  public  for  being  eminent.— Swift  :  Thoughts  on 
Various  Subjects. 

Empire  State.     This  popular  name  for  the  State  of  New  York  was 

not,  as  has  been  fancied,  assumed  by  its  citizens  out  of  State  pride  or  vanity. 
It  was  inferentially  given  to  it  by  General  Washington.  In  his  reply  to  the 
address  of  the  Common  Council  of  New  York  City,  signed  by  "James 
Duane,  Mayor,"  and  bearing  date  December  2,  1784,  he  says,  "  I  pray  that 
Heaven  bestow  its  choicest  blessings  on  your  city ;  that  a  well-regulated  and 
beneficial  commerce  may  enrich  your  citizens,  and  that  your  State  (at  present 
the  seat  of  Empire)  may  set  such  examples  of  wisdom  and  liberality  as  shall 
have  a  tendency  to  strengthen  and  give  a  permanency  to  the  Union  at  home, 
and  credit  and  respectability  abroad." 

Lo  !  the  Empire  State  is  shaking 

The  shackles  from  her  hand; 
With  the  rugged  North  is  waking 
The  rugged  sunset  land  I 

J.  G.  Whittikr. 

End,  The  beginning  of  the,  the  answer  ascribed  to  Talleyrand  when 
asked  by  Napoleon,  after  the  battle  of  Leipsic,  what  was  his  opinion  of  the 
state  of  things.     "  It  seems  to  me,  S<re,  that  this  is  the  beginning  of  the  end" 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  283 

("  II  me  parait,  Sire,  que  c'est  le  commencement  de  la  fin").  Those  who  are 
not  disposed  to  believe  that  this  cynical  remark  was  made  to  his  sovereign, 
whose  fortunes  were  beginning  to  wane,  may  be  inclined  to  think  that  a  cur- 
rent opinion  during  the  Hundred  Days  was  fastened  on  Talleyrand,  who, 
on  his  part,  while  often  astonished  at  these  compliments  to  his  genius,  never 
refused  the  paternity  of  a  bon-mot  when  it  was  found  apt  and  just — after  the 
event.  The  phrase,  however,  has  been  attributed  also  to  Lally-Tollendal  and 
to  Marshal  Augereau,  who  is  said  to  have  used  it  when  the  French  army 
started  from  Moscow  on  that  disastrous  retreat  in  which  he  bore  himself  so 
gallantly.  Shakespeare  has  a  curious  coincidence  of  expression,  though  not 
of  thought : 

That  is  the  true  beginning  of  our  end. 

Midsummer  Night's  Dream,  Act  v.,  Sc.  i. 
"  End,"  here,  seems  to  be  used  in  the  sense  of  "  aim."     But  as  the  line  occurs 
in  the  burlesque  prologue,  whose  humor  consists  in  its  intentional  mispunctua- 
tion,  scholars  are  not  quite  at  one  as  to  the  precise  reading  of  the  passage. 
Here  is  the  context,  mispunctuation  and  all : 

If  we  offend  it  is  with  our  good  will. 

That  you  should  think,  we  come  not  to  offend. 
But  with  good  will.     To  show  our  simple  skill. 

That  is  the  true  beginning  of  our  end. 
Consider  then  we  come  but  in  despite. 

We  do  not  come  as  minding  to  content  you. 

Some  critics  would  do  away  even  with  the  verbal  resemblance  to  Talleyrand 
by  punctuating  thus : 

To  show  our  simple  skill. 
That  is  the  true  beginning.     Of  our  end 
Consider — then.     We  come,  but  in  despite 
We  do  not  come,  etc. 

The  very  commencement  of  our  finite  life,  according  to  Bacon,  is  the  begin- 
ning of  the  end  (see,  also,  Cradle)  : 

So  much  of  our  life,  as  we  have  discovered,  is  already  dead ;  and  all  those  hours  which 
W6  share,  even  from  the  breasts  of  our  mothers,  until  we  return  to  our  grandmother  the 
earl  h,  are  part  of  our  dying  days,  whereof  even  this  is  one,  and  those  that  succeed  it  are  of 
the  i-same  nature,  for  we  die  daily. — On  Death. 

Eiids  ■well.  All's  'well  that,  a  proverb  common  to  all  languages,  which 
has  b  een  made  especially  famous  as  the  title  of  one  of  Shakespeare's  plays. 
Probably  its  first  appearance  is  the  Latin  "  Si  finis  bonus  est,  totum  bonum 
erit"  ("If  the  end  be  well,  all  is  well")  of  the  "  Gesta  Romanorum,"  first 
printed  about  1463.  In  Haywood's  "Proverbs"  (1546)  we  have  the  modern 
form, — 

All  is  well  that  endes  well, 
besides  two  contradictory  phrases,  which,  taken  together,  at  least  emphasize 
the  fact  that  .the  beginning  is  a  small  matter  in  comparison  with  the  end : 
A  hard  beginning  maketh  a  good  ending, 

and 

Of  a  good  beginning  cometh  a  good  ending. 
Gower  had  previously  endorsed  the  latter  saying  : 

;pe  that  well  his  warke  beginneth 
T&e  rather  a  good  ende  he  winneth. 

Con/essio  Amantis. 

Enemy.  "  Nobody's  enemy  but  his  own,"  or  "  Himself  his  worst  enemy," 
is  a  phrase  now  generally  used  tu-  describe  an  amiable  but  not  impressive 
personality,— the  kmdiy  ne'er-do-wef.'  who  never  willingly  injures  his  neighbor, 
but  whose  faults  react  partly  on  hinistlf  and  more  largely  upon  his  family. 
He  often  degenerates  into  that  still  lower  >ype  known  as  "  everybody's  friend," 


284.  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

who  by  endeavoring  to  please  every  one  pleases  no  one.  The  phrase  seems 
to  have  originated  with  Anacharsis  the  Scythian,  who  gave  it  a  very  wide 
application.  Being  asked  what  animal  he  esteemed  most  hostile  to  man,  he 
replied  that  he  thought  every  man  his  own  worst  enemy.  Anacharsis,  a 
brother  of  King  Saulius  of  Thrace,  was  a  wise  and  learned  prince,  who  came 
to  Athens  while  Solon  was  framing  his  laws,  and  acquired  such  repute  for 
sagacity  that  he  is  sometimes  enumerated  among  the  seven  sages  of  Greece. 
He  it  was  who,  being  asked  why  he  had  no  children,  replied  that  he  loved 
children  too  much,  and  who  being  reviled  as  a  barbarian  said,  "  By  race,  per- 
haps, but  not  by  breeding." 

Eager  to  get,  but  not  to  keep,  the  pelf, 
A  friend  to  all  mankind — except  himself. 

James  Worsdale  :  Epitaph  on  himself. 

Engine.  The  history  of  this  word  is  a  philological  curiosity.  From  Greek 
gtgnere,  "  to  beget,"  and  Latin  ingetiiiitn,  "  engine"  meant,  in  mediaeval  English, 
and  occasionally  indeed  down  to  the  eighteenth  century,  simply  mother-wit  or 
native  talent.  Thus  Chaucer,  "  If  man  hath  sapiences  thre,  memorie,  engin, 
and  intellect  also"  (15S9) ;  Puttenham,  "Such  .  .  .  made  most  of  their  works 
by  translation  .  .  .  few  or  none  of  their  own  engine."  Then  it  meant  natural 
disposition,  temper,  as  in  Fairfax's  Tasso,  "  His  fell  ingine  his  grauer  age  did 
somewhat  mitigate."  It  had  contemporaneously  the  sense  of  skill  in  contro- 
versy, ingenuity  ;  also,  in  a  bad  sense,  artfulness,  cunning,  trickery.  From  this 
it  came  to  mean  the  product  of  ingenuity,  an  artifice,  contrivance,  device ;  and 
the  transition  thence  to  a  mechanical  contrivance,  machine,  implement,  tool, 
was  easy.  The  original  engine,  as  a  machine,  was  usually  something  used  in 
warfare  or  in  torture,  as  the  rack,  or  in  hunting,  as  a  snare,  net,  trap,  etc. 
The  invention  of  the  steam-engine  has  specialized  the  word  and  rendered 
obsolete  all  previous  uses. 

England  expects  every  man  to  do  his  duty,  Nelson's  signal  to  tb' 
fleet  before  the  battle  of  Trafalgar,  October  21,  1805.  The  story  has  be  n 
told  in  various  ways.  Pasco's  version  maybe  accepted  as  the  truest,  '.fe 
was  Nelson's  flag-lieutenant  on  the  Victory.  Nelson  came  to  him  on  the 
poop,  and,  after  ordering  certain  signals  to  be  flown,  gave  these  further  d'irec- 
tions  :  "  Mr.  Pasco,  I  wish  to  say  to  the  fleet,  '  England  confides  that  *every 
man  will  do  his  duty.'  "  And  he  added,  "  You  must  be  quick,  for  I  haV/C  one 
more  to  make,  which  is  for  close  action."  Pasco  replied,  "If  your  lc>rdship 
will  permit  me  to  substitute  expects  for  coiifides,  the  signal  will  soon  b-e  com- 
pleted, because  the  word  expects  is  in  the  vocabulary  and  confides  must  be 
spelt."  Nelson,  hastily,  but  with  an  air  of  satisfaction,  said,  "That  will  do, 
Pasco  ;  make  it  directly."  James,  however,  in  his  "  Naval  History,"  vol.  iii.  p. 
392,  says  the  signal  first  ordered  by  Nelson  was,  "  Nelson  expect'  every  man 
to  do  his  duty."  He  quotes  Captain  Blackwood,  who  comman  jed  the  Eury- 
alus  during  the  engagement.  As  it  stands,  the  sentiment  is  ^-t  pretty  enough 
bit  of  patriotic  bombast.  Dickens's  humorous  comment  wa-^,  that  if  England 
expects  every  man  to  do  his  duty  "she  is  the  most  sangu'.ae  and  most  disap- 
pointed country  in  the  world." 

England  is  the  paradise  of  women,  the  r  argatory  of  servants, 
and  the  hell  of  horses,  an  ancient  Italiar-  proverb.  Sometimes  the 
further  epithet  "a  prison  for  men"  is  adde-i-  Grose,  in  the  collection  of 
proverbs  added  to  the  181 1  edition  of  h;?- "' Provincial  Glossary,"  thus  dis- 
courses on  the  saw:  "The  liberty  allowed  to  women  in  England,  the  portion 
assigned  by  law  to  widows  out  of  thei  •  husbands'  goods  and  chattels,  and  the 
politeness  with  which  all  denomina'-ions  of  that  sex  are  in  general  treated, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  285 

join  to  establish  the  truth  of  this  part  of  the  proverb.  The  furious  manner 
in  which  people  ride  on  the  road,  horse-racing,  hunting,  the  cruelties  of  pos- 
tilions, stage-coachmen,  and  car-men,  with  the  absurd  mutilations  practised 
on  that  noble  and  useful  aiiimal,  all  but  too  much  prove  the  truth  of  this  part 
of  the  adage.  But  that  this  country  is  the  purgatory  of  servants  I  deny  ;  at 
least,  if  it  ever  was  it  is  not  so  at  present ;  I  fear  they  are  rather  the  cause  of 
bringing  many  a  man  to  that  legal  purgatory,  the  gaol." 

England.  The  air  of  England  is  too  pure  for  a  slave,  words  at- 
tributed to  Lord  Mansfield  by  Lord  Campbell  in  his  "Lives  of  the  Chief 
Justices  :"  "  Lord  Mansfield  first  established  the  grand  doctrine  that  the  air  of 
England  is  too  pure  to  be  breathed  by  a  slave"  (vol.  ii.  p.  418).  He  refers  to 
Lord  Mansfield's  decision  in  the  case  of  James  Somerset,  a  negro  slave  from 
Jamaica,  who,  coming  to  England  in  the  company  of  his  master,  claimed  his 
freedom,  and  was  brought  into  court  on  a  writ  of  habeas  corpus.  It  was 
decided  in  that  case  that  a  slave  could  not  exist  in  England,  and  that  the 
moment  he  touched  English  soil  he  was  a  free  man,  and  the  negro  was  set  at 
liberty.  No  words  such  as  those  attributed,  however,  occur  in  the  report  of 
the  decision  in  the  case  (see  Lofft's  Reports,  p.  2). 

In  the  account  of  the  hearing  given  in  the  "  State  Trials,"  Mansfield  is 
made  to  say, — 

Every  man  who  comes  info  England  is  entitled  to  the  protection  of  the  English  law,  what- 
ever oppression  he  may  heretofore  have  suffered,  and  whatever  may  be  the  color 'of  his 
skin: 

Quamvis  ille  niger,  quamvis  tu  candidus. 

State  Trials,  vol.  xx.  p.  i. 

It  was  Hargrave  who,  in  his  argument  in  the  case,  May  14,  1772,  spoke  of 
England  as  "  a  soil  whose  air  is  deemed  too  pure  for  slaves  to  breathe  in." 
Cowper  has  versified  the  phrase  in  his  lines, — 

Slaves  cannot  breathe  in  England;  if  their  lungs 
Receive  our  air,  that  moment  they  are  free  ! 
They  touch  our  country  and  their  shackles  fall. 

The  Task,  Book  ii.  :   The  Timepiece,  1.  40. 

The  same  legal  doctrine  was  applied  to  France  by  Bodinus,  a  French  jurist 
born  in  the  first  years  of  the  sixteenth  century : 

Sefvi  peregrini,  ut  primum  Galliae  fines  penetraverunt  eodem  momento  liberi  sunt. 

("  Foreign  slaves,  as  soon  as  they  come  within  the  limits  of  France,  are  free.") 

Bodinus,  lib.  i.,  cap.  5. 

In  the  celebrated  case  of  Dred  Scott,  however,  a  negro  slave  who  had  been 
carried  by  his  master  from  Missouri  into  Illinois,  thence  to  the  Territory  of 
"Wisconsin,  and  back  again  to  Missouri,  and  to  whose  case  it  was  endeavored 
to  apply  the  same  legal  maxim,  Chief-Justice  Taney,  of  the  Supreme  Court 
of  the  Un.'^ed  States,  as.serted  that 

For  more  th.  n  a  century  before  the  Declaration  of  Independence  the  negroes  had  been 
regarded  as  beings  of  an  mienor  order,  and  altogether  unfit  to  associate  with  the  white  race 
either  m  social  or  oolitical  relations,  and  so  far  inferior  that  they  had  no  rights  which  the 


white  man  was  bound 


1  respect. 


English  as  she  is  spoke.  In  the  year  1882  there  was  published  in 
England  a  little  book  und(.v  this  title,  whicli  contained  selections  from  a  certain 
gem  of  literature,  originally  )..ublished  at  Paris  in  1862  as  "O  Novo  Guia  em 
Portuguez  e  Inglez"  ("The  Nev  Guide  to  Portuguese  and  English").  Simul- 
taneously Mark  Twain  republisheJ  in  America  a  new  edition  of  the  complete 
work,  with  prefatory  notes.  The  book  had  long  been  out  of  print,  though 
known  to  book-collectors  and  frequenJy  referred  to  in  magazines.  Its  many 
and  obvious  merits  were  now  for  the  first  time  made  known  to  the  public  at 


286  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

large,  which  eagerly  acknowledged  them  and  clamorously  sought  to  possess 
itself  of  the  volume,  to  gloat  over  them  at  leisure. 

The  unique  character  of  the  work  consists  in  the  fact  that  its  author,  who 
openly  proclaimed  himself  as  Joze  de  Fonseca,  had  manufactured  it  by  securing 
a  book  of  French  dialogues,  which,  with  the  aid  of  a  dictionary,  he  put  word  by 
word  into  English.  Of  that  tongue  he  knew  nothing,  and,  what  is  more  aston- 
ishing, learned  nothing,  even  during  the  progress  of  his  labors.  There  resulted 
a  farrago  of  mistakes,  a  jumble  of  English  and  Portuguese  constructions,  over 
which  the  beaming  self-conceit  of  the  author  spreads,  to  borrow  from  Carlyle, 
"like  sunshine  on  the  deep  sea."  Never  was  linguist  in  better  humor  with 
himself.  In  his  very  preface  he  begins  by  comparing  his  book,  to  its  own 
great  advantage,  with  all  its  predecessors  in  the  same  line  :  "  The  Works 
which  we  were  confering  for  this  labour,  find  use  us  for  nothing  ;  but  those 
what  were  publishing  to  Portugal,  or  out.  They  were  almost  all  composed  for 
some  foreign,  or  for  some  national  little  acquainted  in  the  spirit  of  both  lan- 
guages. It  was  resulting  from  that  corelessness  to  rest  these  Works  fill  of 
imperfections  and  anomalies  of  style ;  in  spite  of  the  infinite  typographical 
faults  which  sometimes  invert  the  sense  of  the  periods.  It  increase  not  to 
contain  any  of  those  Works  the  figured  pronunciation  of  the  english  words, 
nor  the  prosodical  accent  in  the  portugese ;  indispensable  object  whom  wish 
to  speak  the  english  and  portuguese  languages  correctly." 

Consequently  the  author  felt  that  "  A  choice  of  familiar  dialogues,  clean  of 
gallicisms  and  despoiled  phrases,  it  was  missing  yet  to  studious  portuguese 
and  brazilian  Youth  ;  and  also  to  persons  of  other  nations  that  wish  to  know 
the  Portuguese  language." 

And  having  set  himself  the  task  of  filling  this  long-felt  want,  having 
avoided  all  the  distressing  faults  and  imperfections  of  his  predecessors,  he 
confidently  anticipates  the  approbation  of  the  public:  "We  expect  then  who 
the  little  book  (for  the  care  what  we  wrote  him,  and  for  her  typographical 
correction)  that  may  be  worth  the  acceptance  of  the  studious  persons,  anc' 
especially  of  the  Youth,  at  which  we  dedicate  him  particularly." 

To  begin  with  the  vocabulary,  among  the  "  Defects  of  the  Fody"  are  enu- 
merated "  a  blind,"  "  a  lame,"  "  a  squint-eyed,"  and  so  on.  Ti.e  process  here 
is  intelligible,  however.  The  professor  of  languages  has  simply  followed  he 
French  idiom,  and  used  nouns  as  adjectives.  But  such  "  Degrees  c/  Ivin- 
dred"  as  " gossip  mistress,"  " the  quarter-grandfather,"  and  "quarter-grand- 
mother" require  elucidation,  as  also  do  such  nice  differentiations  of  meaning 
as  are  implied  in  the  terms  "a  relation,  an  relation,  a  guardian,  an  guardian." 
We  give  up  the  first  batch  ;  in  the  second  Senhor  Fonseca  possibly  reac's  a  as 
the  masculine,  an  as  the  feminine,  of  the  indefinite  article.  Under  thy  head 
of  "  Eatings,"  one's  appetite  is  scarcely  stimulated  by  such  a  menu  as  "some 
wigs,"  "some  marchpanes,"  "a  little  mine,"  "an  amelet,"  even  with  such 
"  Seasonings"  as  "  some  pinions,"  "  some  verjuice,"  or  "  some  hog's  lard,"  and 
washed  down  with  such  "  Drinkings"  as  "  some  paltry  wine."  ^  devout  Cath- 
olic would  be  shocked  to  find  himself  set  down  to  a  maigre  diet  oi  such  "  Fishes 
and  Shellfishes"  as  "Hedgehog,"  "Snail,"  "Wolf,"  and  "Torpedo." 

Pass  we  on  now  to  the  Familiar  Phrases.  Almost  at  the  outset  we  are  met 
with  the  pertinent  query,  "  Have  you  understand  that  he  says  ?"  and  when,  a 
line  or  two  farther  down,  we  meet  the  mysterious  d'-ection,  "Sing  an  area," 
we  confess  that  we  have  not  understand.     A  few  r.ore  examples  must  suffice  : 

At  what  purpose  have  say  so? 

That  are  the  dishes  whose  you  must  be  and  to  abs»-in. 

This  girl  have  a  beauty  edge. 

It  must  never  to  laugh  of  the  unhappies. 

Probably  not.     The  conversationalist  is  evidently  one  of  the  unhappies,  for 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  387 

elsewhere  we  are  told,  •'  He  laughs  at  my  nose,  he  jest  by  me,"  and  then 
follow  in  quick  succession  the  alarming  statements, — 

He  has  spit  in  my  coat. 

He  has  me  take  out  my  hairs.  \ 

He  does  me  sijme  kicks.  \ 

He  has  scratch  the  face  with  hers  nails. 

Then,  thanks  be  to  heaven,  the  tables  are  turned,  and  the  very  next  entry 
informs  us, — 

He  bums  one's  self  the  brains  ; 
which  is  reassuring  when  you  reflect  that  it  is  a  literal  rendition  of  "  II  se 
brule  la  cervelle."     Yet  the  slain  knows  not  that  he  is  slain.     A  little  lower 
down  the  tale  of  bloodshed  and  sudden  death  is  resumed  : 

He  was  fighted  in  duel. 

They  fight  one's  selfs  again  (lis  se  battent  ensemble). 

He  do  want  to  fall  [\\  manque  de  tomber). 

He  was  wanting  to  be  killed. 

Evidently  he  was.  Is  it  to  this  truculent  gentleman  that  a  little  lower  down 
the  advice  is  given, — 

Take  attention  to  cut  you  self? 

One  is  glad  to  know  that  the  conversationalist  survives  all  these  dangers.  In 
the  "  Familiar  Dialogues"  one  accompanies  him  on  "  The  walk."  He  is  some- 
thing of  a  poet,  a  lover  of  nature.  "  You  hear  the  birds  gurgling  V  he  asks, 
and  then  rapturously  exclaims,  "  Which  pleasure !  which  charm !  The  field 
has  to  me  a  thousand  charms."  He  visits  his  tailor  and  jauntily  asks,  "  Will 
you  do  me  a  coat .'"  The  tailor,  not  a  bit  taken  aback,  replies  in  the  Socratic 
fashion,  "  What  cloth  will  you  do  to?"  That  little  matter  is  arranged.  The 
tailor  engages  to  bring  the  coat  "  the  rather  that  be  possible."  But  evidently 
he  procrastinates.  For  when  at  last  it  is  delivered  the  messenger  is  met  with 
the  stern  rebuke,  "  You  have  me  done  to  expect  too,"  a  bold  version  of  "  Vous 
m'avez  fait  trop  attendre."  The  tailor  makes  excuse,  "  I  did  can't  to  come 
Mther."  When  the  conversationalist  goes  "  For  to  ride  a  horse"  we  detect 
in  him  the  same  carping  spirit.  "  Here  is  a  horse  who  have  a  bad  looks.  He 
no.':  sail  know  to  marsh,  he  is  pursy,  he  is  foundered.  Don't  you  are  ashamed 
to  g'ive  me  a  jade  like  this }  He  is  undshoed,  he  is  with  nails  up  ;  it  want  to 
lead  to  the  farrier."  Nevertheless  he  mounts.  And  then  trouble  begins. 
"  Never,"  screams  the  rider,  "  never  I  was  seen  a  so  bad  beast ;  she  will  not 
nor  to  bring  forward,  neither  put  back."  The  stableman,  evidently  agitated, 
begins  a  running  fire  of  advice.  "Strek  him  the  bridle,"  he  cries.  "  Hold  him 
the  reins  sharters.  Pique  stron  gly,  make  to  marsh  him."  "I  have  pricked 
him  enough.  But  I  can't  make  him  to  marsh,"  replies  the  indignant  client. 
"Go  dovn,  I  shall  make  marsh,"  says  the  dealer  scornfully,  and  the  incensed 
equestrian  rejoins,  "  Take  care  that  he  not  give  you  a  foot  kicks."  For  aught 
we  know,  tht  stableman  may  hide  some  devilish  sarcasm  under  the  incoherent 
surrejoinder,  "Then  he  kicks  for  that  I  look.?  Sook  here  if  I  knew  to  tame 
hix,"  which  brings  to  an  inglorious  end  our  conversationalist's  attempt  for  to 
ride  a  horse. 

The  pupil,  having  by  this  time  acquired  a  choice  stock  of  phrases,  with  a 

select  and  well-v*eedeQ  vocabulary,  is  next  taught  to  practise  the  epistolary 

style  after  the  best  models.     And  who  are  these  models  t     Madam  of  Sevigne 

and  Madam  of  Maintenon.     One  specimen  from  the  former  lady  must  suffice  : 

Madam  of  Sevignk  at  their  Daughter. 

I  write  you  every  day  :  it  is  a  i  iv  which  give  me  most  favourable  at  all  who  beg  me  some 
letters.     They  will  to  have  them   I'o.-  to  appuu-  before  you,  and  me  i  don't  ask  better.     That 

shall  be  given  by  M.  D .     I  don't  know  as  he  is  called  ;  but  at  last  it  is  a  honest  man,  what 

seems  me  to  have  spririt,  and  that  me  i.ave  seen  bere  together. 


288  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Next  comes  a  fund  of  entertaining  anecdotes,  so  ingeniously  worded  that 
they  might  readily  be  used  to  set  the  table  on  a  roar. 

Physicians,  as  we  all  know,  do  not  always  follow  their  own  prescriptions. 
On  this  head  the  Portuguese  compiler  has  a  good  story  to  tell,  and  he  tells  it 
in  his  own  idiomatic  way : 

A  physician  eighty  years  of  age  had  enjoied  of  a  health  unaherable.  Theirs  friends  did 
him  of  it  compliments  every  days.  "  Mister  doctor,"  they  said  to  him,  "  you  are  admirable 
man.  What  you  make  then  for  to  bear  you  as  well?"  "  I  shall  tell  you  it,  gentlemen,"  he 
was  answered  them :  "  and  I  exhort  you  in  same  time  at  to  follow  my  example.  I  live  of 
the  product  of  my  ordering,  without  take  any  remedy  who  I  command  to  my  sicks." 

Where  all  are  good  it  seems  a  work  of  supererogation  to  select.  But  space 
is  limited,  and  we  must  confine  ourselves  to  a  few  : 

One  eyed  was  laid  against  a  man  which  had  good  eyes  that  he  saw  better  than  him.  The 
party  was  accepted.  "  I  have  gain  over,"  said  the  one  eyed ;  "  why  I  see  you  two  eyes,  and 
you  not  look  me  who  one  !" 

Caesar  seeing  one  day  to  Roma,  some  strangers,  very  riches,  which  bore  between  her  arms 
little  dogs  and  little  monkeies  and  who  was  carressign  them  too  tenderly  was  ask,  with  so 
many  great  deal  reason,  whether  the  women  of  her  country  don't  had  some  children? 

A  lady,  which  was  to  dine,  chid  to  her  servant  that  she  had  not  used  butter  enough.  This 
girl,  for  the  excuse  him  selves,  was  bring  a  little  cat  on  her  hand,  and  told  that  she  came  to 
take  him  in  the  crime,  finishing  to  eat  the  two  pounds  from  butter  who  remain.  The  lady 
took  immediately  the  cat,  was  put  into  the  balances,  it  had  not  weighed  iheat  one  an  half 
pound. 

Two  friends  who  from  long  they  not  were  seen  meet  one's  selves  for  hazard.  "  How  do  is 
there?"  told  one  of  the  two.  "  No  very  well,"  told  the  other,  "  and  i  am  married  from  that  I 
saw  thee."  "  Good  news."  "  Not  quit,  because  I  had  married  with  a  bad  woman."  "  So 
much  worse."  "  Not  so  much  great  deal  worse  ;  because  her  dower  was  from  two  thousand 
lewis."  "  Well,  that  confort."  "  Not  absolutely,  why  i  had  emplored  this  sum  for  to  buy 
some  muttons  which  are  all  deads  of  the  rot."  "  Tfiat  is  indeed  very  sorry."  "  Not  so 
sorry,  because  the  selling  of  hers  hide  have  bring  me  above  the  price  of  the  muttons." 
"  So  you  are  indemnified."  "  Not  quit,  because  my  house  where  i  was  disposed  my  money, 
finish  to  be  consumed  by  the  flames."  "  Oh,  here  is  a  great  misfortune  1"  "  Not  so  gi  cat 
nor  i  either,  because  my  wife  and  my  house  are  burned  together !" 

The  whole  concludes  appropriately  with  a  choice  collection  of  "  Idiotismsi 
and  Proverbs."     Again  we  can  only  cull  at  random : 
A  thing  is  tell,  another  is  make. 
The  walls  have  hearsay. 
Spoken  of  the  wolf,  one  sees  the  tail. 
There  is  not  any  ruler  without  a  exception. 
He  is  like  the  fish  into  the  water. 
To  come  back  at  their  muttons. 
He  is  not  so  devil  as  he  is  black. 
What  come  in  to  me  for  an  ear  yet  out  for  another. 
The  stone  as  rolls  not  heap  up  not  foam. 
Help  thy  that  God  will  aid  thee. 
It  want  to  take  the  occasion  for  the  hairs. 

All  of  which,  though  possibly  not  so  idiomatic  as  the  originals  which  they 
pervert,  are  certainly  more  idiotic. 

But  it  is  not  Senhor  Fonseca  alone  who  has  subjected  the  English  language 
to  rough  treatment. 

"  Here  they  spike  the  English,"  an  announcement  that  actually  appeared  in 
a  Paris  shop-window,  might  be  taken  as  an  appropriate  motto  for  many  strange 
and  murderous  onslaughts  on  the  English  tongue.  English  was  badly  spiked 
by  the  baker  in  the  Palais  Royal  who  announced,  "  Maccaroni  not  baked 
sooner  ready,"  and  by  the  barber  in  the  Rue  St.-Honore  who  made  an 
attempt  to  attract  foreign  custom  by  the  statement,  "  Hear  to  cut  off  hare, 
in  English  fashion."  M.  Oliver,  a  French  conjurer,  was  another  desperate 
offender.  In  his  programme  he  offers  "to  perform  an  infinity  of  Legerde- 
mains," such  as  "  the  cut  and  burnt  handkerchieve  who  shall  take  up  their 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  289 

primitive  forms  ;  the  watch  thrown  et  nailed  against  the  wall  by  a  pistol  shot, 
the  enchanted  glass  wine,  the  handsome  Elsina  in  her  trunck,  some  low 
automatons  who  will  dance  upon  a  rope  and  sail  do  all  the  most  difficul 
tricks,"  the  whole  to  conclude  with  "  a  Phantasmagory  disposed  in  a  manner 
as  not  to  frighten  the  ladies." 

"  Articulation  without  swipe"  is  the  puzzling  commendation  that  accom- 
panies the  description  of  a  weighing-machine,  and  of  a  bathing-girdle  the 
awful  statement  is  made  that  "  the  person,  the  bathing-tub,  and  the  machine 
are  forming  one  inseparable  piece." 

A  certain  M.  Hercelle-Leruste  recently  put  forth  a  highly  mysterious  circu- 
lar. It  aims  to  describe  the  virtues  of  the  "  unparalleled  bathing-room,  dress- 
ing-rooms and  of  showers-baths,  united  system  Hercelle-Leruste."  Despite 
the  assistance  of  a  rudimentary  illustration  of  the  improved  bath-room,  it  is 
doubtful  whether  the  full  merits  of  the  system  will  ever  be  comprehended 
from  the  circular.  However,  it  is  dimly  apparent  that  the  invention  is  in  the 
nature  of  what  is  known  here  as  a  geyser,  or  instantaneous  water-heater,  and 
that  improved  ventilation  is  a  special  feature.  So  much  being  premised, 
we  can  follow  the  sense,  though  withholding  our  approval  from  the  literary 
form  of  the  sentence  promising  "a  foot-bath,  sitting-bath,  and  any  one  else 
bath,  heating  itself  in  a  minute,  without  which  smoke  spread  itself  over 
room,  thing  which  has  never  existed."  Still  intelligible,  though  still  weak  in 
accidence,  is  M.  Hercelle-Leruste's  explanation  of  bow  "persons  having  some 
bathing-rooms"  may  alter  said  rooms  for  the  reception  of  his  apparatus,  even 
in  the  case  of  a  person  "residing  in  house  which  be  not  the  property  of  her." 
"  I  will  construct  this  room,"  the  inventor  continues,  "  to  make  remove  when 
she  will  wish  all  the  objects  same  the  invisible  pipes  and  reservoirs,  all  to 
make  remove." 

One  is  tempted  to  ask,  why  this  partiality  for  the  feminine  sex?  Why,  oh, 
why  does  not  this  benefactor  of  his  kind  offer  his  services  also  to  the  poor 
male  householder  residing  in  house  which  be  not  the  property  of  him  t  why 
may  not  he  too  enjoy  a  foot-bath,  sitting-bath,  or  any  one  else  bath .'  But 
then  we  remember  \.\\^\.  persotiiie  in  the  chivalrous  French  tongue  is  feminine, 
and  that  the  good  Hercelle-Leruste,  with  nice  grammatical  discernment,  is 
gallantly  attempting  to  make  the  English  pronominal  adjective  agree  with  its 
antecedent.  And  now  follows  a  financial  paragraph,  from  whose  obscurity  we 
can  see  no  escape  by  conjectural  emendation  or  otherwise  :  "  All  is  foreteen 
it  and  cheaply,  because  this  elegant  room  can  do  it  from  seven  hundred  francs 
including  reservoirs,  as  much  as  ten  thousand  francs  if  one  desire  it,  since  one 
eat  now  a  daysmake,  all  seenes  and  to  bay  there  he  desired  draperies." 

Many  and  curious  are  the  personal  advantages  and  the  comforts  that  attach 
to  a  bath  filled  by  this  water-heater.  For  example,  "  We  undress  ones  self 
afresh  without  to  be  seen  of  some  persons  that  are  in  this  room,"  and  we  can 
"be  served  in  this  room  egally  without  be  seen."  Best  of  all,  it  is  a  sort  of 
enchanted  room,  where  everything  comes  of  itself.  "  Being  there  for  bath  or 
something  else,  being  undressed  and  having  forgotten  of  linen  or  any  one 
else,  you  ask  them  without  any  inconvenience  with  a  speaking-trumpet,  these 
objects  come  to  you  you  take  them  and  nobody  seen  you." 

Be  there  any  sceptics  ?  M.  Hercelle-Leruste  invites  verification.  "Gone 
at  my  residence," — this  is  the  engaging  form  in  which  he  issues  his  invitation, 
— "  There  you  will  can  see  work  it." 

Baths  and  bathing-establishments  seem  indeed  to  prompt  to  tortuous  Eng- 
lish. The  card  of  an  old  inn  at  Paris  announces,  "  Salines  baths  at  every 
o'clock,"  and  a  bath-keeper  at  Basle  informs  his  English  visitors  that  "in  his 
newly-erected  establishment,  which  the  ouner  recommends  best  to  all  for- 
eigners, are  to  have  ordinary  and  artful  baths,  Russia  and  sulphury  bagnois, 
N  /  25 


290  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

pumpings,  artful  mineral  waters,  guaze  lemonades  furnished  apartments  for 

patients." 

It  seems  to  be  inevitable  that  whenever  a  foreign  word  has  a  double  mean- 
ing the  foreigner  seeking  its  English  equivalent  will  stumble  on  the  wrong 
alternative  and  thus  produce  delicious  confusion.  It  is  staggering  at  first  to 
find  an  English  advertisement  in  a  French  paper  which  reads,  "  Castle  to 
praise  presently,"  and  you  do  not  recover  from  your  surprise  until  you  re- 
member that  the  French  verb  loiier  means  either  to  praise  or  to  let.  The 
literal  rendition  of  chateau,  by  "  castle,"  and  the  substitution  of  presently  for 
immediately,  are  minor  errors  that  lend  an  artistic  and  fully-rounded  complete- 
ness to  the  whole  sentence.  In  a  similar  way,  when  an  Amsterdam  refresh- 
ment-house announces  "  upright  ginger  beer,"  you  read  the  adjective  back 
into  the  original  Dutch  and  find  that  opregt  means  genuine  as  well  as  upright. 

A  dentist  at  Honfleur  "renders  himself  to  the  habitations  of  these  wich 
honor  him  with  their  confidence  and  executes  all  wich  concerns  his  profes- 
sion with  skill  and  vivacity."  A  vivacious  dentist  would  not  necessarily  invite 
the  confidence  of  his  patients. 

The  "  Proliferous  Top,"  whatever  that  may  be,  is  accompanied  by  this  set 
of  instructions : 

Roll  the  string  in  the  pulley  and  draw ;  put  the  mother  top  on  the  little  ones  which  are 
scattered  about  purposely  one  after  the  other;  it  is  sufScicnt  for  putting  them  in  motion. 
Count  number  brought.  The  top  goes  in  every  manner  that  is  wished  according  to  the 
chances  of  positions  or  the  skill  of  persons.  The  proliferous  top  is  not  only  an  attractive 
toy,  but  it  is  a  healthy  and  agreeable  pasttime.  Moreover  it  is  the  ingenious  work  of  a 
learned  physician  who  has  travelled  in  various  countries,  and  has  for  a  long  time  meditated 
on  the  causes  and  effects  which  have  the  most  influence  on  human  constitution  with  regards 
both  to  health  and  intelligence. 

An  English  "  Guide  to  Amsterdam,"  published  in  Holland,  claims  to  be 
prepared  by  an  Englishman.  Here  is  how  this  pseudo-Englishman  handles 
his  own  language.  He  is  speaking  of  the  customs  of  the  inhabitants  on  Sun- 
days and  holidays : 

They  go  to  walk  outside  the  town  gates ;  after  this  walk  they  hasten  to  free  public  play 
gardens,  where  wine,  thea,  etc.,  is  sold.  Neither  the  mobility  remains  idle  at  these  enter- 
tainments. Every  one  invites  his  damsel,  and  joyously  they  enter  play  gardens  of  a  little 
less  brilliancy  than  the  former.  There  at  the  crying  sound  of  an  instrument  that  rents  the 
ear,  accompanied  by  the  delightful  handle-organs  and  the  rustic  triangle,  their  devoirs  are 
paid  to  Terpischore.  Everywhere  a  similitude  of  talents ;  the  dancing  outdoes  not  the 
music. 

In  a  hotel  at  the  top  of  the  Rigi  the  following  announcement  gives  great 
satisfaction  :  "  Misters  the  venerable  voyagers  are  advertised  that  when  the 
sun  him  rise  a  horn  will  be  blowed."  That  announcement  sufficiently  pre- 
pares the  visitor  for  the  following  entry  in  the  wine  list  :  "  In  this  hotel  the 
wines  leave  the  traveller  nothing  to  hope  for."  The  style  of  the  following  is 
legal  in  its  precision  :  "  It  is  clearly  understood  that  the  combustion  of  every 
kind  of  wooden  work  which  belongs  to  the  entity  of  the  shelter  is  strongly 
forbidden,  so  that  if  it  happened  to  be  caused  damage  of  any  kind  from  the 
part  of  the  travellers  or  guides,  the  latter  one  will  be  made  responsible.  At 
this  purpose  every  one  is  requested  to  notify  those  eventual  damages  made  on 
the  shelter  huts  and  in  the  same  time  if  it  is  possible."  As  Polonius  says, 
"entity  of  the  shelter"  and  "  eventual  damages"  are  good. 

The  following  is  copied  from  a  card  for  English  visitors  prepared  by  the 
host  of  an  establishment  in  the  neighborhood  of  Pompeii.  It  will  reveal  the 
secret  of  its  meaning  to  no  casual  reader : 

That  hotel  opened  since  a  few  days  is  renowned  for  the  cleanness  of  the  apartments  and 
linen ;  for  the  exactness  of  the  service  and  for  the  excellence  of  the  true  French  cookery. 
Being  situated  at  a  proximity  of  that  regeneration,  it  will  be  propitious  to  receive  families 
whatever,  which  will  desire  to  reside  alternately  in  that  town,  to  visit  the  monuments  new 


LITERAR  V  CURIOSITIES.  zgi 

found  and  to  breathe  thither  the  salubrity  of  the  air.  That  establishment  will  avoid  to  all 
travelers,  visitors  of  that  sepult  city  and  to  the  artists  (willing  to  draw  the  antiquities)  a  great 
discordance  occasioned  by  the  tardy  and  expensive  contour  of  the  iron  way.  People  will 
find  equally  thither  a  complete  soniment  of  stranger  wines,  and  of  the  kingdom,  hot  and 
cold  baths,  stables  and  coach  houses,  the  whole  with  very  moderate  price.  Now,  all  the 
applications  and  endeavors  of  the  host  will  tend  always  to  correspond  to  the  tastes  and 
desires  of  their  customers,  which  will  acquire  without  doubt  to  him  in  that  town  the  reputa- 
tion whom  he  is  ambitious. 

The  darkest  portion  of  the  above  is  that  which  refers  to  the  tardy  and  ex- 
pensive contour  of  the  iron  way.  The  mystery  is  partly  cleared  up,  however, 
when  one  discovers  that  the  iron  way  is  literal  English  for  che7nin  de  fer,  the 
railroad. 

Japan  and  China  yield  some  remarkable  specimens.  The  following  are  as 
good  as  any : 

The  trees  cutting,  birds  and  beasts  killing,  and  cows  and  horses  setting  on  free  at  the 
ground  belonging  to  the  government  are  prohibited. 

(Signed)    Osaka  Fu. 

A  sweetmeat-maker,  named  Yeck  Chee,  published  the  accompanying  no- 
tice : 

The  undersigned  of  Kingloong  to  manufacture  the  Best  quality  of  Sweetmeats,  Soy,  etc. 
Which  is  composed  of  the  finest  materials  formerly  for  sold  by  the  merchant  of  Loanqua  dur. 
ing  many  years,  and  renowned  between  the  farthest  and  the  nearest.  At  present  the  Loan- 
qua  is  on  leave  a  trust  becoase  he  was  dcceatful  and  loss  of  the  payment,  hereafter  for  sale 
the  sweetmeats,  but  by  the  Kingloong  self,  as  in  his  own  signed  request  that  all  patronize  of 
the  gentle  men  to  inspect  the  undersigned.  Whoever  should  be  mistaken  to  the  counterfeit 
goods  from  Loanqua,  it  will  surely  not  concerning  of  Kingloong.  Kingloong  (Signed).  The 
New  Merchant  is  Yeck  Chee. 

But  the  garden-spot  of  the  world  for  exotic  English  is  surely  India.  The 
natives  of  that  country  have  a  natural  love  for  exuberant  rhetoric,  which  when 
conjoined  with  imperfect  knowledge  of  the  meaning  of  words  leads  to  the 
most  amazing  results. 

Lady  Duiferin  tells  us  that  when  she  resided  at  Bhurtpore  a  Hindustani 
gentleman  addressed  her  by  letter  as  "  Honored  Enormity." 

One  man  during  an  examination  was  told  to  write  an  essay  upon  the  horse, 
which  he  did  in  the  following  brief  item  :  "  The  horse  is  a  very  noble  animal, 
but  when  irritated  he  ceases  to  do  so."  "  Progress  and  Poverty"  was  thus 
outlined  by  another  essayist :  "  The  rich  man  welters  on  crimson  velvet,  while 
the  poor  man  snorts  on  flint."  It  is  a  Punjab  school-master  who  gives  us  this 
sample  of  epistolary  English  : 

Hon.  Sir  :  I  am  most  anxious  to  hear  you  are  sick.  I  pray  to  God  to  see  you  soon  at  R 

in  a  state  of  triumph.  The  climate  is  very  good  and  proves  unhealthy.  No  deputy  commis- 
sioner complains  ever  for  want  of  climate.  If  you  also  come  here  I  think  it  will  agree  with 
your  state.  An  information  expectant  or  reversionary  respecting  your  recovery  state  is  ex- 
pected, and  I  shall  be  thankful  to  you. 

A  very  amusing  petition  was  once  addressed  to  the  English  House  of  Com- 
mons by  R.  D.  P.  Romohandra  Rae,  manager  of  the  Peshwa  Charitable  Insti- 
tution at  Nayeghat,  Benares.  It  is  too  long  to  quote  entire,  but  we  can  make 
room  for  the  reasons  which  actuated  him  to  appeal  to  their  "  lordships"  of  the 
House  of  Commons  as  follows  : 

The  applicant  believes  that  no  desire  can  originate  within  us  if  its  fulfillment  is  not  de- 
sired by  Providence  and  to  have  further  proof  which  can  be  universally  acknowledged  is  that 
the  whole  world  when  in  its  infancy  would  not  have  called  for  nourishment  if  the  all-wise 
Contriver  had  not  arranged  for  so  palpable  and  nourishing  a  diet.  The  applicant  would 
arrive  to  this  conclusion  that  this  intense  desire  of  asking  from  the  government  what  be- 
longs to  him  must  have  arisen  owing  to  its  fulfillment  being  decided  by  the  Almighty.  The 
earth  Is  called  the  mother  of  all  things,  not  because  she  produces,  but  because  she  maintains 
and  nurses  what  she  produces.  Her  Most  Gracious  Majesty,  the  Empress  of  India,  being 
termed  as  Queen  Mother,  would  never  like  to  act  like  Esop's  earth,  which  would  not  nurse 
the  plant  of  another  ground,  although  never  so  much  improved  by  reason  that  plant  was  not 
.of  its  own  production. 


292  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Their  "lordships"  must  have  been  highly  astonished  to  find  themselves 
described  as  "endowed  with  all  the  perfections  and  blessings  of  nature." 
A  notice  posted  in  a  Lahore  hotel  has  a  very  truculent  sound  : 
Gentlemen  who  come  in  hotel  not  say  anything  about  their  meals  they  will  be  charged  for, 
and  if  they  should  say  beforehand  that  they  are  going  out  to  breakfast  or  dinner,  are  if  they 
say  that  they  not  have  anything  to  eat,  they  will  be  charged,  and  if  not  so,  they  will  be 
charged,  or,  unless  they  bring  it  to  the  notice  of  the  manager,  and  should  they  want  to  say 
anything,  they  must  order  the  manager  for,  and  not  any  one  else,  and  unless  they  not  bring 
it  to  the  notice  of  the  manager,  they  will  be  charged  for  the  least  things  according  to  hotel 
rate,  and  no  fuss  will  be  allowed  afterward  about  it.  Should  any  gentleman  take  wall-lamp 
or  candle-light  from  the  public  rooms,  they  must  pay  for  it  without  any  dispute  its  charges. 
Monthly  gentlemens  will  have  to  pay  my  fixed  rate  made  with  them  at  the  time,  and  should 
they  absent  day  in  the  month,  they  will  not  be  allowed  to  deduct  anything  out  of  it,  because 
I  take  from  them  less  rate  than  my  usual  rate  of  monthly  charges. 

But  the  finest  specimen  of  Hindoo  English — unsurpassed  and  unsurpass- 
able— is  the  memoir  of  Onoocool  Chunder  Moorkerjee,  judge  of  the  High 
Court  of  India,  which  his  nephew  published  in  Calcutta  shortly  after  the  death 
of  the  biographee  in  1871.  It  is  only  to  be  regretted  that  its  length  precludes 
our  copying  it  entire. 

At  the  very  start  we  scent  the  rich  treat  that  is  in  store  for  us.  Our  hearts 
warm  within  us  as  we  read  that  this  admirable  man,  "  by  dint  of  wide  energy 
and  perseverance,  erected  a  vantage  ground  above  the  common  level  of  his 
countrymen, — nay,  stood  with  the  rare,  barring^few  on  the  same  level  with 
him,  and  sat  arrayed  in  majestic  glory,  viewing' with  unparalleled  and  mute 
rapture  his  friends  and  admirers  lifting  up  their  hands  with  heartfelt  glee  and 
laudation  for  his  success  in  life." 

His  father  died  when  Onoocool  was  very  young,  and  "  unfortunate  blind 
tins  and  speculations"  by  an  elder  brother  soon  reduced  the  family  to 
so  low  an  ebb  that  "it  was  threatened  with  Barmecide  feasts."  Thereupon 
"Onoocool  Chunder  was  pressed  by  his  mother  to  search  for  an  employment. 
'All  love  the  womb  that  their  first  beings  bred,'  and  Justice  Moorkerjee  was 
not  out  of  the  pale  of  it.  There  cannot  be  a  greater  instance  of  self-denial 
than  a  mother  endures  during  the  whole  existence  of  her  ofifspring.  Nothing 
in  the  world  can  make  her  facetious  when  her  child  is  not  so,  and  nothing  in 
the  world  can  make  her  lugubrious  when  her  child  is  not  so.  Ergo,  on  the 
contrary,  a  mother  is  loved  and  respected  in  every  age." 

Ergo,  on  the  contrary,  the  filial  Onoocool  determined  to  obey  his  mother. 
He  was  successful  in  finding  employment.  He  was  eventually  admitted  to 
the  bar.  His  power  of  arguing  a  question  with  "  capacious,  strong,  and  laud- 
able ratiocination  and  eloquence"  soon  brought  him  in  an  income,  which  he 
used  "to  extricate  his  family  from  the  difficulties  in  which  it  had  lately  been 
enwrapped,  and  to  restore  happiness  and  sunshine  to  those  sweet  and  well- 
beloved  faces  on  which  he  had  not  seen  the  soft  and  fascinating  beams  of  a 
simper  for  many  a  grim-visaged  year." 

It  is  pleasant  to  follow  this  brilliant  career.  In  1870,  Choonder  accepted  a 
seat  in  the  Legislative  Council  Tif  Bengal,  his  selection  for  this  honor  being 
characterized  as  "most  judicious  and  tip-top."  Within  the  year  he  resigned 
from  the  council  to  accept  a  judgeship.  "  His  elevation  created  a  catholic 
ravishment  throughout  the  dominion  under  the  benign  and  fostering  sceptre 
of  great  Albion."  But,  alas  !  he  did  not  live  long  to  enjoy  his  success.  Eight 
months  later,  while  delivering  a  judicial  opinion,  he  felt  a  slight  headache, 
"which  gradually  aggravated  and  became  so  uncontrollable  that  he  felt  like  a 
toad  under  a  harrow."  "  All  the  well  known  doctors  of  Calcutta  did  what 
they  could,  with  their  puissance  and  knack  of  medical  knowledge,  but  it 
proved  after  all  as  if  to  milk  the  ram  !  His  wife  and  children  had  not  the 
mournful  consolation  to  hear  his  last  words,  he  remained  sotto  voce  for  a  few 
hours  and  then  went  to  God  at  about  6  P.M."     With  one  graphic  stroke  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


293 


biographer  pictures   the  despair  of  the  family:    "The   house  presented   a 
second  Babel  or  a  pretty  kettle  of  fish."     Nor  was  the  mourning  confined  to 

the  house.     "  All  wept  for  him,  and  whole  Bengal  was  in  lachrymation and 

more  I  shall  say,  that  even  the  learned  judges  of  the  High  Court  heaved 
sighs  and  closed  it  on  its  Appellate  and  Original  Sides." 

Here  is  a  pleasing  description  of  the  judge's  personal  appearance  :  "When 
a  boy  he  was  filamentous ;  but  gradually  he  became  plump  as  a  partridge. 
His  dress  was  unaffected — he  used  to  wear  Dhotee  and  Chadur  on  all  occa- 
sions except  when  going  to  court,  office,  or  to  see  any  European  gentleman, 
or  attending  any  European  party.  And  even  on  going  to  see  a  Nautch  or 
something  of  the  like  I  have  never  seen  him  in  a  dress  fine  as  a  carrot  fresh 
scraped,  but  esto perpetuum  in  Pantaloon  and  in  satin  or  broad-cloth  Chapkan, 
with  a  Toopee  well  quadrate  to  the  dress."  He  was  a  faithful  Hindoo,  and 
charitable  withal,  but  judicious  in  his  charities.  "  The  Hon'ble  Mookerjee 
did  bleed  freely,  but  he  was  not  a  leviathan  on  the  ocean  of  liberality ;  the 
mode  of  assignment  of  his  charities  was  to  such  men  as  we  truly  wish,  and 
recommend,  and  exsuscitate  enthusiastically.  He  used  to  give  monthly 
something  to  many  relicts  who  had  no  hobbardy-hoy  even  to  support  them, 
and  had  no  other  source  of  sustenance  left  to  them  by  their  consort." 

English,  The  King's,  or  Queen's,  an  epithet  first  used  in  connection  with 
some  verb,  as  to  abuse,  deface,  or  murder  the  king's  English,  and  apparently 
suggested  by  phrases  like  "  to  deface  the  king's  coin."  The  term  has  been 
traced  no  further  back  than  "The  Merry  Wives  of  Windsor"  (1598),  where  it 
is  put  in  the  mouth  of  mistress  Quickly  : 

I  pray  thee  go  to  the  casement  and  see  if  you  can  see  my  master.  Doctor  Caius,  coming  ; 
if  he  do,  i'  faith,  and  find  anybody  in  the  house,  here  will  be  an  old  abusing  of  God's  patience 
and  the  king's  English. — Act  i.,  Sc.  4. 

Dr.  Caius,  the  Frenchman  in  the  play,  and  Evans  the  Welshman,  "  Gallia 
et  Guallia,"  succeed  pretty  well  in  their  efforts  to  murder  the  language.  In 
"  Love's  Labor's  Lost,"  Costard  comments  on  the  wonderful  linguistic  feats 
of  Holofernes  and  Sir  Nathaniel,  the  pedantic  school-master  and  preacher,  and 
the  fantastic  Spaniard  Armado  : 

They  have  been  at  a  great  feast  of  languages  and  stolen  the  scraps. — Act  v.,  Sc.  i. 
Per  contra,  Spenser  speaks  of 

Dan  Chaucer,  well  of  English  undefyled, 

Faerie  Queen,  Book  iv.,  Canto  ii.,  St.  33; 
and  of  his  friend  Goldsmith,  Dr.  Johnson  says, — 

A  Poet,  Naturalist,  and  Historian, 

Who  left  scarcely  any  style  of  writing  untouched. 

And  touched  nothing  that  he  did  not  adorn. 

[Nihil  tetigit  quod  non  ornavit.] 

Epitaph  on  Goldsmith. 

Enigma  (Gr.  alvijfia,  a  "  riddle"  or  "  dark  saying  ;"  from  aivo(,  a  "  fable," 
a  "saying"),  the  earliest  form  of  the  riddle,  which  has  since  burgeoned  out  so 
luxuriantly  into  the  cognate  forms  of  charades,  rebuses,  conundrums,  etc.  The 
enigma  has  been  differentiated  from  these  other  flora  of  the  recondite  by  the 
definition  which  makes  it  a  description,  perfectly  true  in  itself,  but  so  ingeniously 
couched  in  metaphorical  language  that  the  sense  is  not  obvious,  so  that  when 
put  in  the  form  of  a  question  it  shall  stimulate  the  curiosity  and  yet  baffle  the 
would-be  interpreter.  In  the  great  majority  of  cases  it  might  in  fact  be 
called  a  metaphor  or  a  poetical  similitude  reversed.  Primeval  poetry, — 
the  sagas  in  the  North,  Hesiod's  epics  in  the  South, — poetry  in  which  it  vvas 
a  point  of  honor  to  call  nothing  by  its  right  name,  illustrates  this  premiss 
most  effectively.  The  ship,  for  example,  is  the  sea-horse.  Now,  reverse  the 
23* 


294-  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

process.  Instead  oi  calling  the  ship  the  sea-horse,  ask  what  is  the  horse  that 
carries  men  over  the  sea.  There  you  have  an  enigma.  Nay,  in  many  primi- 
tive poems  the  two  processes  are  wedded,  and  the  metaphor  is  put  in  the 
form  of  an  enigma,  which  is  immediately  answered.  A  beautiful  example  is 
furnished  in  the  opening  of  the  Servian  "  Hassan  Aga,"  which  Goethe  has 
resuscitated : 

What  white  form  is  shimmering  on  yon  lea  ? 

Is  it  snow  or  is  it  swans  we  see  ? 

Snow?  it  would  have  melted  in  the  ray. 

Swans  ?  long  since  they  must  have  flown  away. 

Snow  it  is  not,  swans  it  cannot  be  ; 

'Tis  the  tent  of  Hassan  Aga  shining. 

Mangan  :  Translated  front  Goethe. 
Again,  there  is  a  familiar  enigma  which  is  common,  in  one  form  or  another, 
to  all  primitive  nations  :  "  What  runs  faster  than  a  horse,  crosses  water,  and  is 
not  wet .'"'  The  sun.  Now,  this  is  identical  with  one  of  the  most  famous 
metaphors  in  literature,  a  metaphor  whose  many  avatars  in  the  pages  of 
poets,  philosophers,  and  divines  will  be  found  duly  chronicled  under  Sun. 
To  repeat  a  single  instance,  it  is  thus  expressed  by  Bacon  :  "  The  sun,  which 
passeth  through  pollutions,  and  itself  remains  as  pure  as  before." 

Samson's  riddle  was  an  enigma  :  so  was  that  of  the  Sphinx.  Though  Sam- 
son afterwards  became  a  judge,  one  cannot  hold  that  his  riddle  was  a  fair 
one  :  "  Out  of  the  eater  came  forth  meat,  and  out  of  the  strong  came  forth 
sweetness."  This  referred,  as  all  will  remember,  to  a  dead  lion  in  whose 
mouth  certain  bees  had  made  their  honey.  Now,  it  required  for  its  solution 
too  large  a  knowledge  of  antecedent  circumstances.  No  wonder  his  wife's 
people  could  not  in  three  days  expound  the  riddle.  The  Sphinx  really  played 
fairer :  "  What  is  that  animal  which  in  the  morning  goes  on  four  feet,  at  noon 
on  two,  and  in  the  evening  on  three .'"'  Answer,  Man.  Here  morning,  noon, 
and  evening  are  metaphors  of  infancy,  manhood,  and  age,  and  there  is  a 
further  metaphorical  use  of  the  word  feet,  which  is  applied  in  one  place  to 
the  hands,  and  in  another  to  a  staff,  used  for  support  and  progress. 

The  ancient  Greeks  were  very  fond  of  riddles  of  this  sort.  One  Clesbu- 
lina,  nicknamed  Eumetis,  the  wise  woman,  was  especially  famous  in  her  day, 
insomuch  that  a  comedy  was  named  after  her,  "The  Clesbulinas."  One  can- 
not help  breathing  a  sigh  over  the  disappearance  of  what  must  have  been  a 
magnificent  collection  of  classical  chestnuts.  Clesbulina's  enigma  about  the 
cupping-glass,  or  rather  cupping-brass,  won  her  especial  renown : 

I  saw  a  man  glue  brass  upon  another  man. 
So  close  the  two 
Together  grew 
That  you  would  say 
One  blood  were  they. 

Now  read  my  riddle  if  you  can. 
Another  ancient  riddle  is  credited  to  Cleobolus,  one  of  the  Seven  Wise 
Men  of  Greece  :  "  A  father  had  twelve  children,  and  each  child  had  thirty  sons 
and  daughters,  the  sons  being  white  and  the  daughters  black,  and  one  of  these 
died  every  day,  and  yet  became  immortal."  Is  not  this  identical  with  the 
riddle  which  Necbatano,  King  of  Egypt,  proposed  to  Lycerus,  King  of  Baby- 
lon, in  that  war  of  riddles  which  Planudes  has  celebrated  ?  The  Babylonish 
monarch  had  always  been  a  winner  in  these  contests,  because  he  had  /Esop  at 
his  court,  and  .(Esop  was  more  than  a  match  for  his  adversary.  But  at  last 
Necbatano  conceived  he  had  a  clincher.  "There  is  a  grand  temple,"  he  said, 
"which  rests  upon  a  single  column,  which  column  is  encircled  by  twelve 
cities  ;  every  city  has  against  its  walls  thirty  flying  buttresses,  and  each  buttress 
has  two  women,  one  white  and  one  black,  that  go  round  about  it  in  turns. 
Say  what  that  temple  is  called."    It  did  not  take  iEsop  long  to  crack  this 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  295 

nut :  "  The  temple  is  the  world,  the  column  is  the  year,  the  twelve  cities  are  the 
months,  the  thirty  buttresses  are  the  days,  the  two  women  are  light  and  dark- 
ness." 

In  "The  Booke  of  Merry  Riddles"  which  Shakespeare  mentions  in  "The 
Merry  Wives  of  Windsor,"  we  meet  our  old  friend  in  another  form : 

I  have  a  tree  of  great  honour. 
Which  tree  beareth  both  fruit  and  flower ; 
Twelve  branches  this  tree  hath  nake. 
Fifty-two  nests  therein  he  make, 
And  every  nest  hath  birds  seven. 
Thanked  be  the  King  of  Heaven ; 
And  every  bird  hath  a  divers  name  : 
How  may  all  this  together  frame  ? 

And  in  a  more  recent  "  Recueil  de  Calembours"  published  in  France,  the  same 
recondite  jest  makes  once  more  its  perennial  appearance  : 

Un  pere  a  douze  fils,  chacun  d'eux  en  a  trente, 

Moitie  blancs,  moitie  noirs? 

L'an,  les  mois,  les  jours,  les  nuits. 

The  Abbe  Boilat  has  described  some  engaging  traits  of  the  Wolofs,  a  simple 
but  jocular  race  who  inhabit  Senegal.  It  is  their  nightly  custom  to  sit  in  the 
moonlight  or  fire-light,  propounding  aboriginal  enigmas  to  one  another,  amid 
peals  of  laughter.  If  a  riddle  is  guessed  a  shout  goes  up,  "  He  has  told  the 
truth  !"  If  not,  the  Wolof  method  of  giving  it  up  is  to  grasp  the  chin  and 
cry,  "  In  the  name  of  the  God  of  truth."  And  this  is  the  style  of  riddle  pro- 
pounded:  "What  runs  long  in  the  sun  and  casts  no  shadow  i""  Does  the 
reader  grasp  his  chin  t  Do  we  hear  an  appeal  to  the  eternal  verities  t  We 
leap  to  his  assistance  with  the  answer, — The  road.  Again,  "  Who  are  the 
comrades  that  fight  all  day  and  never  hurt  each  other.'"  The  tongue  and  the 
teeth.  One  cannot  help  envying  the  capacity  for  merriment  which  can  extort 
laughter  out  of  such  elementary  epigrams.  Yet  the  country-folk  everywhere, 
the  young  barbarians  in  our  nurseries,  nay,  our  polished  ancestors,  and  the 
classical  ancients,  have  or  had  an  equally  rudimentary  sense  of  humor.  Many 
of  the  riddles  still  current  are  just  as  primitive  as  any  we  have  quoted.  No 
doubt  our  arboreal  ancestors  shook  their  sides  and  wagged  their  prehistoric 
tails  over  precisely  the  same  jests,— after  the  megatherium  and  the  dodo  had 
done  with  them.  Indeed,  some  of  Shakespeare's  quibbles  belong  to  the  same 
class.  (Does  not  Ruskin  wistfully  marvel  at  the  readiness  of  Elizabethan 
audiences  to  be  amused  i")  All  seem  to  proceed  from  the  wondering  child- 
like intellect,  just  awakened  to  recognition  of  the  fact  that  there  are  analogies 
in  nature,  and  giving  the  ready  guerdon  of  admiration  or  laughter  to  the  more 
spacious  intellects  among  them  who  had  shown  that  human  relations  might 
be  predicated  of  inanimate  things,  either  in  jest  or  earnest.  The  mind  with 
a  humorous  bias  made  enigmas,  the  serious  mind  made  metaphors, — that  is  to 
say,  poems.  There  is  a  legend  that  the  Father  of  Poetry  was  done  to  death 
by  an  enigma, — a  further  illustration  of  the  close  connection  between  the  two 
classes  of  literature.  Asking  some  fishers  of  los  what  luck  they  had  had,  the 
wandering  minstrel  was  told,  "  What  we  caught  we  threw  away,  what  we  could 
not  catch  we  kept."  Fleas,  not  fishes,  had  been  the  quest  of  these  merry  men 
on  that  particular  day.  Homer  puzzled  himself  into  some  classic  form  of 
paresis,  and  finally  gave  up  both  the  riddle  and  the  ghost.  But  the  riddle 
survived  to  puzzle  posterity.  Symposius,  in  the  seventh  century,  put  it 
into  Latin  verse.     Pierre  Grognet  did  it  into  old  French : 

Ce  que  je  prens,  je  pers  et  tiens, 
Ce  qui  s'enfuyt  ay 


It  has  spread  over  the  world.    One  of  its  latest  avatars  is  the  following :  "  He 


296  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

loves  her  ;  she  has  a  repugnance  to  him,  and  yet  she  tries  to  catch  him  ;  and 
if  she  succeeds,  she  will  be  the  death  of  him." 

Aulus  Gellius,  in  his  twelfth  book  of  "  Noctes  Atticae,"  goes  into  ecstasies 
over  a  scirpiis,  or  what  the  Greeks  call  an  anigma,  "  which  I  lately  found  ; 
ancient,  by  Hercules  !  and  exceedingly  crafty,  composed  in  three  iambic  verses." 
It  is  really  worth  quoting  for  its  utter  inanity  : 

Semel,  minusve,  an  bis  minus,  non  sat  scio 
An  utrumque  eorum,  ut  quondam  audivi  dicere 
Jovi  ipsi  regi  noluit  concedere. 
("  I  know  not  whether  it  was  once  less,  or  twice  less,  or  both  the  latter  added  together,  who, 
as  I  once  heard,  was  unwilling  to  yield  even  to  King  Jove  himself.") 

"  I  leave  this  unanswered,"  says  Gellius,  "  to  sharpen  the  conjectures  of  my 
readers  in  their  investigations," — probably  the  earliest  instance  of  a  fashion 
now  much  in  vogue  in  journals  and  magazines  of  leaving  the  solution  to  the 
next  number.  But  Gellius  is  merciful.  "  He  who  is  tired  of  investigating,"  he 
adds,  "  may  find  the  answer  in  the  second  book  of  M.  Varro  to  Marcellus  on 
the  Latin  language." 

The  answer  is  Terminus  (ter-minus).  Ovid  declares  that  all  the  crowd  of 
gods  gave  place  to  Jove,  except  Terminus,  who  held  his  ground.  So  the 
author  of  the  riddle  doubts  whether  it  was  once  less,  or  twice  less,  or  thrice 
less  (ter-minus, — i.e.,  the  two  latter  added  together),  who,  as  he  once  heard, 
was  unwilling  to  yield  to  King  Jove  himself.  The  force  of  bathos  could  no 
further  go. 

There  have  been  ep"ochs  when  enigmas  and  other  forms  of  riddles  were 
especially  in  vogue.  Always  these  epochs  marked  a  recurring  season  of 
intellectual  awakening.  Such  an  epoch  there  was  at  the  first  glimmering  of 
new  dawn  towards  the  close  of  the  seventh  century  and  the  beginning  of  the 
eighth.  This  was  jjrobably  the  age  of  Symposius,  author  of  a  collection  of  Latin 
riddles,  as  it  certainly  was  of  Aldhelm,  Bishop  of  Sherborne,  and  of  Tatwine, 
Archbishop  of  Canterbury,  both  of  whom  followed  in  the  footsteps  of  Sym- 
posius. 

One  example  shall  suffice  from  each.    Here  is  Symposius  on  the  bookworm  : 

I  have  fed  upon  literature,  yet  know  not  a  letter ;  I  have  lived  among  books,  and  I  am  none 
the  more  studious  for  it ;  I  have  devoured  the  Muses,  yet  up  to  the  present  time  I  have  made 
no  progress. 

Aldhelm  yields  this  upon  the  alphabet : 

We  are  seventeen  sisters  voiceless  born  ;  six  others,  half-sisters,  we  exclude  from  our  set ; 
children  of  iron,  by  iron  we  die,  but  children  too  of  the  bird's  wing  that  flies  so  high ;  three 
brethren  our  sires,  be  our  mother  as  may ;  if  any  one  is  very  eager  to  hear,  we  tell  him,  and 
quickly  give  answer  without  any  sound. 

That  is  to  say,  seventeen  consonants  and  six  vowels  ;  made  with  iron  style 
and  erased  with  the  same,  or  else  made  with  a  bird's  quill ;  whatever  the 
instrument,  three  fingers  are  the  agents  ;  and  we  can  convey  answer  without 
delay  even  in  situations  where  it  would  be  inconvenient  to  speak. 

And  lastly,  here  is  Tatwine  on  an  "  Eagle-lecturn," — in  almost  literal  trans- 
lation : 

Angelic  food  to  folk  I  oft  dispense, 

While  sounds  majestic  fill  attentive  ears. 

Yet  neither  voice  have  I  nor  tongue  for  speech. 

In  brave  equipment  of  two  wings  I  shine. 

But  wings  withouten  any  skill  to  fly  : 

One  foot  I  have  to  stand,  but  not  a  foot  to  go. 

It  is  probably  to  this  epoch  also  (though  some  would  claim  a  much  higher 
antiquity)  that  the  most  famous  of  all  enigmas  is  to  be  referred,  the  "j^lia  Laelia 
Crispis,"  an  inscription  preserved  at  Bologna,  which  has  puzzled  the  wisest 
heads,  and  has  finally  been  given  up  as  insoluble. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  297 

^LIA   L^LIA   CrISPIS, 
Nee  vir,  nee  mulier,  nee  androgyna  ; 
Nee  puella,  nee  juvenis,  nee  anus  ; 
Nee  meretrix,  nee  pudiea; 
Sed  omnia : 
Sublata  neque  famo,  nee  ferro,  neque  veneno ; 

Sed  omnibus  : 
Nee  coelo,  nee  aquis,  nee  terris ; 
Sed  ubique  jacet. 
Lucius  Agatho  Priscus, 
Nee  maritus,  nee  amator,  nee  necessarius ; 
Neque  moerens,  neque  gaudens,  neque  flens; 

Sed  omnia : 
Hane  neque  molem,  neque  pyramidum,  neque  sepulchmm, 

Seit  et  nescit  quid  poserit. 
Hoe  est  sepulchrum  intus  cadaver  non  habens ; 
Hoc  est  cadaver  sepulchrum  extra  non  habens  ; 
Sed  cadaver  idem  est,  et  sepulchrum  sibi. 

Which  may  be  rendered  as  follows  : 

^LIA   Li^LIA   CrISPIS, 
Neither  man,  nor  woman,  nor  hermaphrodite; 
Neither  girl,  nor  boy,  nor  old  woman  ; 
Neither  harlot  nor  virgin  ; 
But  all  of  these  : 
Destroyed  neither  by  hunger,  nor  sword,  nor  poison  ; 

But  by  all  of  them  : 
Lies  neither  in  heaven,  nor  in  the  water,  nor  in  the  ground; 
But  everywhere. 
Lucius  Agatho  Priscus, 
Neither  husband,  nor  lover,  nor  kinsman  ; 
Neither  sad,  nor  glad,  nor  weeping  ; 

But  all  together; 
This,  neither  funeral  pile,  nor  pyramid,  nor  tomb. 

He  knows  and  knows  not  what  he  has  erected. 
This  is  a  tomb  having  no  corpse  within  it  ; 
This  is  a  corpse  having  no  tomb  without  it ; 

But  corpse  and  tomb  are  one  and  the  same. 

Various  interpretations  have  been  offered,  some  better  than  others,  but 
none  good.  It  has  even  been  shrewdly  suspected  that  there  is  no  interpreta- 
tion,— that  the  puzzle  is  a  mere  hoax.  Rain-water,  the  so-called  materia 
medica,  the  philosopher's  stone,  a  dissected  person,  a  shadow,  an  embryo, — 
these  and  other  suggested  explanations  all  fall  to  the  ground.  There  seems 
to  be  some  color  of  reason  to  Professor  Schwartz's  suggestion  that  the 
Christian  religion  is  the  true  answer,  referring,  in  proof,  to  Galatians  iii.  28 : 
"There  is  neither  Jew  nor  Greek,  there  is  neither  bond  nor  free,  there  is 
neither  male  nor  female ;  for  we  are  all  one  in  Christ  Jesus."  But  after  the 
superficial  likeness  to  the  text  has  been  acknowledged,  it  is  hard  work  to  find 
the  other  analogies. 

Better  remember  the  fate  of  Homer,  and  desist  from  any  further  cudgelling 
of  the  brain. 

The  period  of  the  Renaissance  was  a  great  era  for  the  enigma.  Numerous 
collections  of  all  forms  of  riddles  were  put  forth  in  the  sixteenth  and  seven- 
teenth centuries.  Some  were  eclectic,  some  ostensibly  original.  Among  the 
latter  the  efforts  of  the  Abbe  Cotin  are  especially  famous.  In  England,  at  a  later 
period,  Swift  and  others  followed  Cotin's  example  in  acknowledging  their 
bantlings.     The  majority  of  riddles  before  Cotin's  time  had  been  anonymous. 

Among  these  ano7iym(E,  however,  are  some  that  have  won  for  themselves 
the  glory  of  perennial  quotation.  Sometimes  they  are  only  fair,  sometimes 
they  are  very  bad.  Never  mind  :  they  are  classics,  and  not  the  most  cursory 
history  of  the  enigma  would  be  complete  without  them. 

Let  us  dip  into  that  celebrated  book  of  riddles  already  mentioned  as  spoken 


29^ 


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of  by  Shakespeare  in  "The  Merry  Wives  of  Windsor"  (Act  i.,  Sc.  i).  It  is 
called,  with  that  blatant  boastfulness  which  is  such  an  amusing  characteristic 
of  antique  titles,  "The  Booke  of  Merry  Riddles,  together  with  proper  Ques- 
tions and  Witty  Proverbs  to  make  pleasant  pastime  ;  no  less  useful  than  be- 
hoovefull  for  any  yong  man  or  child,  to  know  if  he  be  quickwitted  or  no." 

Do  you  want  to  find  out  if  you  be  quick-witted  ?  Then  unriddle  me  this, 
an  it  please  you  : 

Two  legs  sat  upon  three  legs  and  had  one  leg  in  her  hand ;  then  in  came  foure  legs  and 
bare  away  one  leg ;  then  up  start  two  legs  and  threw  three  legs  at  foiu-e  legs,  and  brought 
again  one  leg. 

The  answer  is  full  of  picturesque  detail,  and  runs  as  follows : 

That  is,  a  woman  with  two  legs  sat  on  a  stoole  with  three  legs,  and  had  a  leg  of  mutton 
in  her  hand  ;  then  came  a  dog  that  hath  foure  legs,  and  bare  away  the  leg  of  mutton  ;  then 
up  started  the  woman  and  threw  the  stoole  with  three  legs  at  the  dog  with  foure  legs,  and 
brought  again  the  leg  of  mutton. 

Would  you  prefer  a  poetical  riddle  ?     Your  taste  shall  be  gratified  : 
He  went  to  the  wood  and  caught  it. 
He  sat  him  down  and  sought  it ; 
Because  he  could  not  finde  it. 
Home  with  him  he  brought  it. 

Solution  :  "  That  is  a  thome  :  for  a  man  went  to  the  wood  and  caught  a  thome  in  his  foote, 
and  then  he  sate  him  downe,  and  sought  to  have  it  pulled  out,  and  because  he  could  not  find 
it  out,  he  must  needs  bring  it  home." 

Ah  there,  old  truepenny  !  You  see  it  has  turned  up  once  more, — the  same 
old  jest  that  worried  Homer  into  a  premature  grave. 

Here  are  some  famous  bits  of  inanity  preserved  in  Halliwell's  "Nursery 
Rhymes  of  England :" 

Long  legs,  crooked  thighs. 
Little  head,  and  no  eyes. 

(A  pair  of  tongs.) 
Thirty  white  horses  upon  a  red  hill. 
Now  they  champ,  now  they  tramp,  now  they  stand  still. 

(Teeth  and  gums.) 
Old  mother  Twichett  had  but  one  eye. 
And  a  long  tail  which  she  let  fly ; 
And  every  time  she  went  over  a  gap 
She  left  a  bit  of  her  tail  in  a  trap. 

(A  needle  and  thread.) 
Little  Nancy  Etticoat, 
In  a  white  petticoat. 
And  a  red  nose  ; 
The  longer  she  stands 
The  shorter  she  grows. 

(A  candle.) 
The  next  has  more  merit : 

What's  that  which  all  love  more  than  life. 
Fear  more  than  death  or  mortal  strife  ? — 
That  which  contented  men  desire. 
The  poor  possess,  the  rich  require. 
The  miser  spends,  the  spendthrift  saves. 
And  all  men  carry  to  their  graves  ? 

(Nothing.) 

In  a  speech  on  the  embargo  which  John  Adams  delivered  in  Congress  in 
1806,  he  made  apt  use  of  "an  old  riddle  on  a  coffin,  which  I  presume  we  all 
learned  when  we  were  boys  :" 

There  was  a  man  bespoke  a  thing. 

Which  when  the  maker  home  did  bring. 

That  same  maker  did  refuse  it,  ' 

The  man  that  spoke  for  it  did  not  use  it. 

And  he  who  had  it  did  not  know 

Whether  he  had  it,  yea  or  no. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


299 


Mr.  Adams  considered  this  "as  perfect  a  representation  of  the  origin,  prog- 
ress, and  present  state  of  this  thing  called  non-intercourse  as  it  is  possible 
to  be  conceived."  True,  if  non-intercourse  be  established,  the  similitude 
would  fail  in  one  particular.  The  tenant  of  the  coffin  did  not  know  his  state. 
"But  the  people  of  the  United  States  will  be  literally  buried  alive  in  non- 
intercourse,  and  realize  the  grave  closing  on  themselves  and  on  their  hopes, 
with  a  full  and  cruel  consciousness  of  all  the  horrors  of  their  condition." 

The  constituents  of  the  alphabet  have  supplied  an  inexhaustible  fund  of 
material  for  enigma-composers.  An  early  instance  is  this  by  Swift  on  the 
Vowels  : 

We  are  little  airy  creatures, 

All  of  different  voice  and  features ; 

One  of  us  in  glass  is  set, 

One  of  us  you'll  find  in  jet. 

T'other  you  may  see  in  tin. 

And  the  fourth  a  box  within. 

If  the  fifth  you  should  pursue, 

It  can  never  fly  from  you. 

Two  famous  examples, — masterpieces  in  their  kind, — each  depending  on 
the  power  of  a  single  letter  in  the  construction  of  syllables  and  words,  were 
attributed  in  a  vague  way  to  Lord  Byron, — a  well-deserved  tribute  to  their 
elegance  and  skill  in  versification.  Both  were  afterwards  shown  to  be  the 
composition  of  Miss  Catherine  Fanshawe.  She  penned  them  in  an  album 
some  time  in  the  year  1814,  while  visiting  at  Deepdene,  the  beautiful  seat  of 
"  Anastasius"  Hope,  where  Disraeli  wrote  "  Coningsby."  The  first  is  on  the 
letter  H  : 

'Twas  whispered  in  heaven,  'twas  muttered  in  hell. 
And  echo  caught  faintly  the  sound  as  it  fell ; 
On  the  confines  of  earth  'twas  permitted  to  rest, 
And  the  depths  of  the  ocean  its  presence  confessed ; 
'Twill  be  found  in  the  sphere  when  'tis  riven  asunder. 
Be  seen  in  the  lightning,  and  heard  in  the  thunder. 
'Twas  allotted  to  man  with  his  earliest  breath. 
It  assists  at  his  birth  and  attends  him  in  death. 
Presides  o'er  his  happiness,  honor,  and  health. 
Is  the  prop  of  his  house  and  the  end  of  his  wealth 
In  the  heaps  of  the  miser  is  hoarded  with  care. 
But  is  sure  to  be  lost  in  his  prodigal  heir. 
It  begins  ever>'  hope,  every  wish  it  must  bound. 
It  prays  with  the  hermit,  with  monarchs  is  crowned; 
Without  it  the  soldier,  the  sailor,  may  roam, 
But  woe  to  the  wretch  who  expels  it  from  home. 
In  the  whisper  of  conscience  'tis  sure  to  be  found. 
Nor  e'en  in  the  whirlwind  of  passion  is  drowned  ; 
'Twill  soften  the  heart,  but,  though  deaf  to  the  ear. 
It  will  make  it  acutely  and  instantly  hear; 
But  in  short,  let  it  rest  like  a  delicate  flower 
Oh,  breathe  on  it  softly,  it  dies  in  an  hour. 

The  companion  is  too  long  to  quote  entire,  and  we  must  content  ourselves 
with  three  stanzas : 

I  am  not  in  youth,  nor  in  manhood  or  age, 

But  in  infancy  ever  am  known. 
I'm  a  stranger  alike  to  the  fool  and  the  sage. 
And  though  I'm  distinguished  on  history's  page, 

I  always  am  greatest  alone. 

I'm  not  in  the  earth,  nor  the  sun,  nor  the  moon ; 

You  may  search  all  the  sky,  I'm  not  there ; 
In  the  morning  and  evening,  though  not  in  the  noon, 
Vou  may  plainly  perceive  me,  for,  like  a  balloon, 

I  am  always  suspended  in  air. 


300  HANDY-BOOK  OF  % 

Though  disease  may  possess  me,  and  sickness,  and  pain, 

I  am  never  in  sorrow  or  gloom. 
Though  in  wit  and  in  wisdom  I  equally  reign, 
I'm  the  heart  of  all  sin,  and  have  long  lived  in  vain. 

Yet  I  ne'er  shall  be  found  in  the  tomb. 

There  is  a  famous  enigma,  which  is  attributed  sometimes  to  Lord  Chester- 
field, and  sometimes  to  Miss  Anna  Seward,  the  once  famous  Swan  of  Lich- 
field. It  is  even  added  that  the  latter  lady  left  by  will  the  sum  of  one  thou- 
sand pounds  to  any  who  should  guess  it.  One  form  of  it  is  in  twenty-two 
lines,  another  in  fourteen.     The  longer  runs  thus  : 

The  noblest  object  in  the  works  of  art, 
^  The  brightest  scenes  which  nature  can  impart ; 

'  The  well-known  signal  in  the  time  of  peace. 

The  point  essential  in  a  tenant's  lease ; 

The  farmer's  comfort  as  he  drives  the  plough, 

A  soldier's  duty,  and  a  lover's  vow  ; 

A  contract  made  before  the  nuptial  tie, 

A  blessing  riches  never  can  supply  ; 

A  spot  that  adds  new  charms  to  pretty  faces. 

An  engine  used  in  fundamental  cases ; 

A  planet  seen  between  the  earth  and  sun, 

A  prize  that  merit  never  yet  has  won  ;  | 

A  loss  which  prudence  seldom  can  retrieve. 

The  death  of  Judas,  and  the  fall  of  Eve ; 

A  part  between  the  ankle  and  the  knee, 

A  papist's  toast  and  a  physician's  fee  ; 

A  wife's  ambition  and  a  parson's  dues, 

A  miser's  idol,  and  the  badge  of  Jews. 

If  now  your  happy  genius  can  divine  j 

A  corresponding  word  for  every  line. 

By  the  first  letter  plainly  may  be  fonnd 

An  ancient  city  that  is  much  renowned.  j 

Three  or  four  attempted  solutions  of  this  are  extant,  but  none  is  quite  satis-  i 

factory.  .  i 

Here  is  a  rather  pretty  fancy  by  no  less  a  man  than  Schiller  :  ji 

A  bridge  weaves  its  arch  with  pearls  j 

High  over  the  tranquil  sea ; 
In  a  moment  it  unfurls 

Its  span,  unbounded,  free. 
The  tallest  ships  with  swelling  sail 

May  pass  'neath  its  arch  with  ease ; 
It  carries  no  burden,  'tis  too  frail, 

And  when  you  approach  it  flees. 
With  the  flood  it  comes,  with  the  rain  it  goes. 
And  what  it  is  made  of,  nobody  knows. 

(The  rainbow.) 

Cowper  the  poet,  in  a  letter  to  so  grave  and  dignified  a  gentleman  as  the 
Rev.  John  Newton,  propounds  the  following  enigma : 

I  am  just  two  and  two  ;  I  am  warm,  I  am  cold. 
And  the  parent  of  numbers  that  cannot  be  told  ; 
I  am  lawful,  unlawful,  a  duty,  a  fault  ; 
I  am  often  sold  dear,  good  for  nothing  when  bought ; 
An  extraordinary  boon,  and  a  matter  of  course. 
And  yielded  with  pleasure  when  taken  by  force. 

(A  kiss.) 

Long  before  Cowper,  Sir  Thomas  Wyatt  had  indited  this  graceful  triplet 
on  the  same  theme  : 

A  lady  gave  me  a  gift  she  had  not ; 

And  I  received  her  gift  which  I  took  not ; 

And  if  she  take  it  again  I  grieve  not. 

Charles  James  Fox  was  not  averse  to  lightening  the  cares  of  statesmanship 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  301 

with  an  occasional  bit  of  nonsense.      Here  is  one  of  the  riddles  that  have 
been  ascribed  to  him  : 

Formed  long  ago,  yet  made  to-day, 

Employed  while  others  sleep  ; 

What  none  would  like  to  give  away. 

And  none  would  like  to  keep. 

(A  bed.) 

And  Canning,  too,  who  indulged  in  all  sorts  of  freaks  of  verse,  did  not  omit 
the  riddle.     Here  is  an  excellent  one  on  the  word  "  caress  :" 
A  word  there  is  of  plural  number. 
Foe  to  ease  and  tranquil  slumber ; 
Any  other  word  you  take 
And  add  an  i^  will  plural  make. 
But  if  you  add  an  i  to  this. 
So  strange  the  metamorphosis. 
Plural  is  plural  now  no  more. 
And  sweet  what  bitter  was  before. 

Entangling  Alliances.  This  phrase  originated  with  Thomas  Jefferson. 
The  anxious  avoidance  of  "entangling  alliances"  has  been  the  characteristic 
of  the  foreign  policy  of  the  United  States  throughout  their  political  history. 

Equal  and  exact  justice  to  all  men,  of  whatever  state  or  persuasion,  religious  or  political; 
peace,  commerce,  and  honest  friendship  with  all  nations, — entangling  alliances  with  none ; 
the  support  of  State  governments  in  all  their  rights,  as  the  most  competent  administrations 
for  our  domestic  concerns,  and  the  surest  bulwarks  against  anti-republican  tendencies;  the 
preservation  of  the  general  government  in  its  whole  constitutional  vigor,  as  the  sheet-anchor 
of  our  peace  at  home  and  safety  abroad  ;  .  .  .  freedom  of  religion  ;  freedom  of  the  press ; 
freedom  of  person  under  the  protection  of  the  habeas  corpus  ;  and  trial  by  juries  impartially 
selected, — these  principles  form  the  bright  constellation  which  has  gone  betore  us,  and  guided 
our  steps  through  an  age  of  revolution  and  reformation. — Jefferson  :  First  Inaugural  Aa- 
dress,  March  4,  1801. 

Entente  Cordiale  (Fr.,  "  A  friendly  or  cordial  understanding ;"  but  the 
French  phrase  is  not  only  neater  but  heartier  in  its  meaning),  an  expression 
which  seems  to  have  been  coined  by  Louis  Philippe,  or  at  least  was  first  made 
proverbial  by  his  use  of  it  in  a  speech  from  the  throne  in  January,  1843,  to 
express  the  friendly  relations  existing  between  France  and  England.  A  com- 
pliment was  implied  to  Guizot,  who  had  been  sent  as  ambassador  to  England 
in  1840,  and  was  now  minister  of  foreign  affairs.  Douglas  Jerrold's  comment 
on  the  phrase  was,  "  The  best  thing  I  know  between  France  and  England  is 
the  sea."  i^The  Anglo-French  Alliance.) 

There  was  not  only  no  originality  but  no  desire  for  it — perhaps  even  a  dread  of  it,  as  some- 
thing that  would  break  the  ?«if«/f  corrfza/^  of  placid  mutual  assurance. — Lowell:  Among 
my  Books,  first  series,  p.  339. 

Envelopes.  Before  Sir  Rowland  Hill  introduced  the  penny-post,  enve- 
lopes were  sparingly  used  in  England,  as  double  postage  was  charged  for  one 
piece  of  paper  enclosed  in  another,  however  thin  each  might  be,  and  however 
light  the  letter.  Even  the  smallest  clipping  from  a  newspaper,  enclosed  in  a 
letter,  implied  a  double  charge.  So  soon  as  this  rule  came  into  operation, 
and  so  long  as  it  continued  in  force,  only  franked  letters  were  enveloped, 
although  it  had  formerly  been  regarded  as  a  mark  of  respect  to  use  an  enve- 
lope, and  a  mark  of  etiquette  in  writing  to  a  superior. 

The  penny-post  was  established  January  10,  1840,  and  the  use  of  envelopes 
became  common  after  May  6  of  that  year,  when  stamped  and  adhesive  en- 
velopes were  issued  by  the  post-office.  The  first  envelope-making  machine 
was  invented  by  Edwin  Hill,  brother  of  Rowland.  His  and  De  la  Rue's 
machine  for  folding  envelopes  was  patented  March  17,  1845. 

So  far  as  is  known,  the  idea  of  post-paid  envelopes  originated  early  in  the 
reign  of  Louis  XIV.  of  France,  with  M.  de  Valfyer,  who,  in  1653,  established 
26 


302  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

a  private  post  with  royal  approval,  and  placed  boxes  at  the  corners  of  streets 
for  the  reception  of  letters  enclosed  in  envelopes  which  were  sold  at  offices 
established  for  that  purpose.  Valfyer  had  also  artificial  formes  de  billet,  or 
notes  applicable  to  ordinary  business  communications,  with  blanks  to  be  filled 
up  by  pen  with  such  special  matter  as  the  writer  desired.  One  such  billet  has, 
by  a  fortunate  misapplication,  been  preserved  to  our  time.  Pelisson,  the 
friend  of  Madame  de  Sevigne  (and  of  whom  she  said  that  "he  abused  man's 
privilege  of  being  ugly"),  was  tickled  by  this  skeleton  form  of  correspondence, 
and  filled  up  the  blanks  of  such  a /trw?^  with  a  letter  to  Mademoiselle  de 
Scudery,  addressing  her,  according  to  the  pedantic  fashion  of  the  time,  as 
"  Sappho,"  and  signing  himself  "  Pisandre."  This  billet  is  still  extant,  and 
is  probably  the  oldest  existing  example  of  a  prepaid  envelope. 

In  the  English  State  Paper  Office  is  a  letter  addressed  to  the  Right  Hon. 
Sir  William  Trumbull,  Secretary  of  State,  by  Sir  James  Ogilvie,  and  dated 
May  16,  1696.  It  is  now  attached  to  its  envelope,  4^  X  3  inches,  cut  nearly 
the  same  as  our  modern  ones.  The  next  known  example  is  an  autograph 
letter  (in  an  envelope)  of  Louis  XIV.  to  his  son  by  Madame  de  Montespan, 
the  Comte  de  Toulouse,  Admiral  of  the  Fleet  at  the  siege  of  Barcelona.  It 
is  dated  Versailles,  April  29,  1706,  and  written,  sealed,  and  addressed  by 
the  royal  hand.  Le  Sage,  in  his  "Gil  Bias"  (Book  iv.,  ch.  v.),  published  1715, 
in  describing  the  epistolary  correspondence  of  Aurora  de  Guzman,  makes 
one  of  his  characters  say  that,  after  taking  two  billets,  "elle  les  cacheta  tous 
deux,  y  mit  une  enveloppe,  et  me  donna  le  paquet."  In  the  British  Museum 
there  is  an  envelope,  exactly  like  those  now  in  use,  with  an  ornamental  bor- 
der, bearing  date  1760,  from  Madame  de  Pompadour  to  the  Duchesse  d'Aigui- 
llon,  and  a  letter  from  Frederick  of  Prussia,  addressed  to  an  English  general 
in  his  service,  dated  at  Potsdam,  1766,  folded  in  an  envelope  of  coarse  Ger- 
man paper  similar  in  form  to  modern  ones,  except  that  it  opens  at  the  end, 
like  those  used  by  lawyers  for  deeds,  instead  of  at  the  top. 

An  early  allusion  to  envelopes  in  English  literature  is  to  be  found  in  Swift's 
"Advice  to  Grub  Street  Verse -Writers,"  1726,  wherein  he  playfully  twits 
Pope  for  his  small  economies,  which  betimes  led  him  to  write  his  verses  on 
bits  of  paper  left  blank  or  written  on  only  one  side.  He  tells  them  to  have 
their  verses  printed  with  wide  margins,  and  then 

Send  them  to  paper-sparing  Pope, 

And  when  he  sits  to  write, 
No  letter  with  an  envelope 

CoiJd  give  him  more  deUght. 

It  has,  however,  been  conjectured  that  this  did  not  refer  to  anything  resem- 
bling our  modern  envelope,  which  could  have  been  of  little  use  to  Pope,  but 
to  a  half-sheet  of  paper  used  as  a  cover.  Be  that  as  it  may,  an  old  family  in 
Yorkshire  preserves  an  envelope  exactly  like  the  square  modern  pattern,  sent 
from  Geneva  in  1750.  In  the  Gentleman'' s  Magazine,  May,  181 1,  is  a  copy  of 
a  letter  from  Father  O'Leary,  of  which  it  is  said,  "  the  envelope  being  lost, 
the  exact  address  cannot  be  ascertained  ;"  and  Charles  Lamb  writes  to  Ber- 
nard Barton,  March  20,  1S26,  "  When  I  write  to  a  great  man  at  the  Court 
End,  he  opens  with  surprise  a  naked  note  such  as  Whitechapel  people  inter- 
change, with  no  sweet  degrees  of  envelope.  I  never  enclosed  one  bit  of 
paper  in  another,  nor  understood  the  rationale  of  it.  Once  only  I  sealed 
with  a  borrowed  seal,  to  set  Walter  Scott  a-wondering,  signed  with  the  im- 
perial quartered  arms  of  England,  which  my  friend  Field  bears  in  compliment 
to  his  descent  in  tlie  female  line  from  Oliver  Cromwell.  It  must  have  set  his 
antiquarian  curiosity  upon  watering." 

While  the  use  of  envelopes  was  still  uncommon,  people  frequently  cut  and 
folded  such  for  their  own  convenience,  using  a  card-board  model.    In  Blanch- 


.       LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  303 

ard's  "  Life  and  Literary  Remains  of  L.  E.  L."  (died  1838),  the  poetess  asks 
to  have  sent  her  "slate-pencils,  a  quire  or  so  of  small  colored  note-paper,  and 
a  pasteboard  pattern  of  letter  envelopes." 

Epigrams.  To  devise  a  definition  wide  enough  to  include  the  vast  multi- 
tude of  little  poems  which  at  one  time  or  another  have  been  honored  with 
the  title  of  epigram,  and  precise  enough  to  exclude  all  others,  would  be  hope- 
less. In  strict  accordance  with  its  Greek  etymology  from  imypu<peiv,  "  to  in- 
scribe," it  originally  was  a  commemorative  allusion  to  some  remarkable  event 
or  individual,  or  the  accompaniment  to  votive  offerings.  Such  compositions 
were  termed  epigrams, — i.e.,  inscriptions,  indicating  simply  the  purpose  for 
which  they  were  intended, — viz.,  to  be  inscribed  or  engraved  on  monument, 
statue,  or  building  ;  they  were  generally  poetically  worded.  Such  a  composi- 
tion, from  the  very  nature  of  the  material  on  which  the  eulogy  was  to  be 
engraved,  must  necessarily  be  brief,  and  the  restraints  attendant  upon  its 
publication  concurred  with  the  simplicity  of  Greek  taste  in  prescribing  con- 
ciseness of  expression,  pregnancy  of  meaning,  purity  of  diction,  and  single- 
ness of  thought,  as  the  indispensable  conditions  of  excellence  in  the  epigram- 
matic style.  The  transition  in  the  use  of  the  term  was  easy  from  this,  its 
original  application,  to  verses  never  intended  for  such  a  purpose,  but  assuming 
for  artistic  reasons  the  epigraphical  form,  and  giving  utterance  to  thoughts 
which  might  have  served  as  inscriptions.  Thence  to  verses  expressing,  with 
some  of  the  terseness  and  precision  of  an  inscription,  a  striking,  delicate,  or 
ingenious  thought,  was  but  another  step. 

Of  epigrams  in  the  first  sense  the  lines  of  Simonides,  commemorative  of 
Leonidas  and  his  army,  engraved  on  the  pillars  set  up  at  Thermopylae  at  the 
command  of  the  Amphictyonic  Council,  are  a  famous  example,  with  their 
union  of  chaste  simplicity  and  perfect  beauty  : 

Go  tell  the  Spartans,  thou  that  passest  by, 
That  here,  obedient  to  her  laws,  we  lie. 

Here  is  one  upon  Ladas,  a  famous  runner,  of  whose  swiftness  the  most 
extravagant  accounts  were  given  : 

If  Ladas  ran  or  flew„  in  that  last  race. 
Who  knows  ? — 'twas  such  a  devil  of  a  pace. 

To  this  another  couplet  was  added  : 

Scarce  was  the  starting-rope  withdrawn,  when  there 
Ladas  stood  crowned,  yet  had  not  turned  a  hair. 

Coming  now  to  the  non-monumental  epigrammatic  poems,  here  are  a  few 
of  the  more  strictly  epigraphic  in  form  : 

Himself  he  slew,  when  he  the  foe  would  fly — 
What  madness  this,  for  fear  of  death  to  die  ! 

Martial. 

I  cannot  tell  thee  who  lies  buried  here  ; 
No  man  that  knew  him  followed  by  his  bier; 
The  winds  and  waves  conveyed  him  to  this  shore ; 
Then  ask  the  winds  and  waves  to  tell  thee  more. 

Anonymous. 

To  stone  the  gods  have  changed  her — but  in  vain  ; 
The  sculptor's  art  gave  her  to  breath  again. 

Anonymous  :   On  a  Statue  of  Niobe. 

And  this  by  Antipater  of  Sidon  on  the  Messenian  Aristomenes,  a  brave 
and  determined  enemy  of  Sparta,  whose  life,  it  is  said,  was  saved  by  an  eagle 
when  the  Spartans  had  thrown  him  into  a  pit.  The  opening  lines  are  ad- 
dressed to  the  eagle,  who  replies, — 


304  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

"  Majestic  bird  !  so  proud  and  fierce, 

Why  tower'st  thou  o'er  that  warrior's  hearse?" 

"  I  tell  each  godlike  earthly  king, 

Far  as  o'er  birds  of  every  wing 

Supreme  the  lordly  eagle  sails. 

Great  Aristomenes  prevails. 

Let  timid  doves,  with  plaintive  cry. 

Coo  o'er  the  graves  where  cowards  lie ; 

'Tis  o'er  the  dauntless  hero's  breast 

The  kingly  eagle  loves  to  rest." 

Leydeti' s  Translation. 

But,  having  gone  thus  far,  further  classification  of  what  the  ancients  would 
admit  as  epigrams  is  as  hopeless  an  effort  as  the  attempt  at  a  defini- 
tion. With  them  it  is  one  of  the  most  catholic  of  literary  forms.  Given 
the  essentials  of  brevity  and  unity  of  idea,  it  lends  itself  to  the  expression  of 
almost  any  feeling  or  thought.  It  may  ttot  be  an  idyl,  yet  may  be  descriptive, 
as  is  this  of  Paulus  Silentiarius  describing  the  gardens  of  Justinian  on  the 
banks  of  the  Propontis  : 

Here  strive  for  empire  o'er  the  happy  scene 

The  nymphs  of  fountain,  sea,  and  woodland  green  : 

The  power  of  grace  and  beauty  holds  the  prize 

Suspended  even,  to  her  votaries. 

And  finds  amazed,  where'er  she  casts  her  eye, 

Their  contest  forms  the  matchless  harmony, 

Doud:   The  Epigrammatists : 

which  is  markedly  distinct  from  an  idyl  in  the  coherence  of  the  several  parts, 
and  in  a  singular  converging  of  all  to  a  common  point,  the  expression  of  the 
idea  of  harmony  in  apparent  contention.  Here  is  one  by  an  unknown  hand, 
descriptive  of  the  statue  of  a  dancing  Bacchante  : 

Stop  that  Bacchante !     See,  though  formed  of  stone. 
She's  gained  the  threshold  !     Stop  her,  or  she's  gone. 

The  epigram  may  be  an  elegy,  a  satire,  or  a  love-poem  in  miniature ;  an 
embodiment  of  the  wisdom  of  the  ages,  or  a  bon-mot  stt  oflf  with  a  couple  of 
rhymes : 

The  cool,  low-babbling  sti  'am, 

'Mid  quince-groves  deep 
And  gently  rustling  leaves. 
Bring  on  soft  sleep. 

Sappho. 
Fair  marble,  tell  to  future  day.'; 

That  here  two  virgin  sisters  lie. 
Whose  life  employed  each  tongue  in  praise. 
Whose  death  gave  tears  to  every  eye. 

In  stature,  beauty,  years,  and  fame. 

Together  as  they  grew  they  shone. 
So  much  alike,  so  much  the  same, 

That  death  mistook  them  both  for  one. 

Saturday  Review,  vol.  xx.  p   507, 
My  fair  says,  she  no  spouse  but  me 
Would  wed,  though  Jove  himself  were  he ; 

She  says  it,  but  I  deem 
That  what  the  fair  to  lovers  swear 
Should  be  inscribed  upon  the  air, 

Or  in  the  running  stream. 

Catullus. 
Why  so  coy,  my  lovely  maid  ? 
Why  of  age  so  much  afraid  ? 
Your  cheeks  like  roses  to  the  sight. 
And  my  hair  as  lilies  white  ; 
In  love's  garland,  we'll  suppose 
Me  the  lily,  you  the  rose. 

Anacreon. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  305 


O  Bruscus,  cease  our  aching  ears  to  vex 
With  thy  loud  railing  at  the  softer  sex  ; 
No  accusation  worse  than  this  could  be. 
That  once  a  woman  did  give  birth  to  thee. 

ACILIUS. 

The  broad  highway  to  poverty  and  need 
Is,  much  to  build  and  many  mouths  to  feed ; 

or  this,  which  suggests  Ben  Jonson's  song,  "Drink  to  me  only  with  thine 
eyes :" 

The  wine-cup  is  glad  !  Dear  Zenophile's  lip 
It  boasts  to  have  touched  when  she  stooped  down  to  sip. 
Happy  wine-cup  !  I  wish  that,  with  lips  joined  to  mine. 
All  my  soul  at  a  draught  she  would  drink  up  like  wine ; 

or  a  little  gem  like  this,  than  which  there  is  nothing  more  perfect  of  its  kind 
in  anjr  literature ;  the  translation  is  by  Lord  Nugent : 
I  loved  thee  beautiful  and  kind. 
And  plighted  an  eternal  vow  ; 
So  altered  are  thy  face  and  mind, 
'Twere  perjury  to  love  thee  now  ; 

or  this,  by  the  Syrian,  Meleager  of  Gada,  which  has  been  often  imitated  : 

A  hue  and  cry  for  Love  !    The  wild  one's  fled  ! 
Just  now  at  dawn  he  left  his  rosy  bed. 
Glib  is  his  tongue  ;  the  lad  sheds  pretty  tears  ; 
Fleet  is  his  foot,  his  heart  unknown  to  fears. 
Around  his  smile  a  dash  of  scorn  he  flings ; 
His  quiver-bearing  back  is  girt  with  wings. 
I  cannot  name  his  sire,  for  earth  and  sky 
And  sea  the  bold  brat's  parentage  deny. 
Nowhere  is  he  a  favorite.     Yet  beware  ! 
Perchance  e'en  here  for  hearts  he  lays  his  snare. 
Yes ;  there's  his  ambush  !   Mark  him  where  he  lies  ! 
Archer,  I  spy  thee  in  yon  maiden's  eyes  ! 

All  of  these  exquisite  thoughts,  expressed  in  such  chaste  and  elegant  lan- 
guage, would  have  to  be  covered  by  any  definition  of  the  epigram  as  under- 
stood by  the  collectors  of  that  string  of  gems — literally,  that  posy  of  flowers — 
which  has  come  down  to  us  known  as  the  Greek  Anthology,  from  which,  indeed, 
most  of  the  preceding  are  culled. 

Its  catholicity  included  even  anagrams,  and  probably  would  find  a  place  for 
this  ingenious  curiosity,  a  parody  on  the  noted  grammatical  line  Bifrons  atque 
Oistos,  Bos,  Fur,  Siis,  atque  Sacerdos.  The  author,  curiously  enough,  was  a 
Canterbury  clergyman  : 

Bifrons  ever  when  he  preaches  ; 

CusTOS  of  what  in  his  reach  is  ; 

■Bos  among  his  neighbors'  wives; 

Fur  in  gathering  of  his  tithes ; 

Sus  at  every  parish  feast  ; 

On  Sundays,  Sacerdos,  a  priest. 

No  less  would  it  for  the  following  lines  from  the  Arabic : 
Two  parts  of  life  ;  and  weH  the  theme 

May  mournful  thoughts  inspire  ; 
For  ah  !   the  past  is  but  a  dream. 
The  future — a  desire  ! 

and  no  less  for  these  from  the  Persian,  by  Sir  William  Jones: 

On  parent  knees,  a  naked  new-born  child, 
Weeping  thou  sat'st,  whilst  all  around  thee  smiled; 
So  live,  that,  sinking  in  thy  last  long  sleep. 
Calm  thou  may'st  smile,  while  all  around  thee  weep,— 

one  of   the   oldest  epigrams   in   existence,  as  it  is  also   one  of  the  most 
u  20* 


3o6 


HANDY-BOOK  OF 


beautiful.  It  is  true  that  they  do  not  agree  in  all  points  with  the  well-known 
definition, — 

An  epigram  should  be,  if  right. 

Short,  simple,  pointed,  keen,  and  bright, — 

A  lively  little  thing ! 
Like  wasp  with  taper  body,  bound 
By  lines — not  many — neat  and  round ; 
All  ending  in  a  sting. 

But  this  is  a  modern  definition,  according  to  which  an  epigram  must  be  a  little 
poem  whose  hum,  charming  as  it  does  the  ear,  must,  like 

The  bees  of  Trebizond, 
That  from  the  sunniest  flowers  which  glad 
With  their  pure  smile  the  garden  round. 
Draw  venom  forth  that  drives  men  mad, 

end  with  that  peculiar  sting  which  is  now  looked  for  in  a  French  or  English 
epigram  ;  the  want  of  this  in  the  old  Greek  compositions  doubtless  has  caused 
them  to  be  looked  upon  as  tame  or  tasteless.  The  true  or  the  best  form  of 
the  early  Greek  epigram  does  not  aim  at  wit  or  seek  to  produce  surprise,  and 
although  this  element  is  present  in  some,  it  was  not,  as  now,  deemed  an  essen- 
tial.    Their  simplicity  is  perhaps  their  most  striking  feature. 

In  Roman  hands  the  epigram  excelled  in  pungency  ;  it  is  the  Roman  satirists 
to  whom  we  are  indebted  for  the  idea  that  it  should  have  a  spice  of  malice. 

Omne  epigramma  sit  instar  apis  :  sit  aculeius  illi, 

Sint  sua  mella,  sit  et  corporis  exigui, — 

chants  the  Latin  poet,  or,  as  he  has  been  felicitously  rendered  into  English, — 

Three  things  must  epigrams,  like  bees,  have  all, — 
A  sting,  and  honey,  and  a  body  small. 

But,  though  men  of  high  literary  genius,  the  great  Latin  epigrammatists 
Catullus  and  Martial  could  not  easily  divest  themselves,  in  this  kind  of  verse, 
of  the  old  Roman  sylvestris  animus,  and  forget  the  freedom  of  the  early  Fes- 
cennine  license,  and  hence  too  much  of  what  they  have  left  behind  is  vitiated 
by  brutality  and  obscenity.  On  the  subsequent  history  of  the  epigram,  indeed, 
Martial  has  exercised  an  influence  as  baneful  as  it  is  extensive,  and  he  may  be 
counted  as  the  far-off  progenitor  of  a  host  of  verses  the  scurrility  of  which 
would  put  himself  to  blush.  Nevertheless,  among  much  that  is  simply  coarse 
and  brutal,  there  may  be  found  in  Martial  many  epigrams  which  for  polish  and 
rapier-pointed,  if  malicious,  pungency  are  unsurpassed  : 

Petit  Gemellus  nuptias  Maronillse, 

Et  cupit,  et  instat,  et  precatur.  et  donat. 

Adeone  pulchra  est?   Imo  foedius  nil  est. 

Quid  ergo  in  ilia  petitur  et  placet  ?     Tussit. 

The  effect  of  this  epigram  lies  in  the  sudden  tussit  ("she  coughs"),  which 
stops  the  hurried  questions,  bringing  them  down  as  with  a  pistol-shot.  The 
rendering  of  the  same  by  G.  H.  Lewes  happily  preserves  the  effect  : 

Gemellus  wants  to  marry  Maronilla, 

Sighs,  ogles,  prays,  and  will  not  be  put  off. 
Is  she  so  lovely  ?     Hideous  as  Scylla  ! 

What  makes  him  ogle,  sigh,  and  pray  ?     Her  cough  ! 

And  here  is  another,  with  the  genuine  waspish  characteristic  of  the  stinging 
tail : 

While  in  the  dark  on  thy  soft  hand  I  hung. 

And  heard  the  tempting  siren  in  thy  tongue. 

What  flames,  what  darts,  what  anguish  I  endured  ! 

But  when  the  candles  entered,  I  was  cured  ! 

Equally  pointed,  if  less  delicate,  is  the  sarcasm  directed  against  the  doctor 
turned  undertaker, — 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  307 

Nuper  erat  medicus,  nunc  est  vespillo  Diabus  ; 
Quod  vespillo  facit,  fecerat  et  medicus, — 

which  probably  inspired  Boileau  to  write  the  delicious  couplet, — 

II  vivait  jadis  4  Florence  un  medecin, 
Savant  hableur,  dit-on,  et  cetibre 


More  in  the  gnomic  vein  are  his  lines  reproving  suicide  : 
When  all  the  blandishments  of  life  are  gone. 
The  coward  creeps  to  death — the  brave  lives  on. 

If  brevity  is  the  soul  of  wit,  the  following  monostich  must  be  deemed  perfect : 

Pauper  videri  vult  Cinna — et  est  pauper. 

("  Cinna  pretends  to  be  poor — and  is  what  he  pretends.") 

But  the  happiest  conceit  of  Martial  is  that  contained  in  the  following.    Pjetus, 

condemned  to  die  and  ordered  by  the  emperor  to  slay  himself,  the  heroic  wife, 

Arria,  having  seized  the  knife  and  stabbed  herself,  even  in  death  feels  no  other 

pain  than  that  which  Paetus  is  now  about  to  inflict  upon  himself: 

When  Arria  from  her  wounded  side 

To  Psetus  gave  the  reeking  steel, 

"  I  feel  not  what  I've  done,"  she  cried; 

"  What  Paetus  is  to  do—/  feel  !"— 

which  Gray  probably  had  in  mind  when  he  composed  the  "  Epitaph  on  Mrs. 
Clark :" 

In  agony  to  death  resigned, 

She  felt  the  wound  she  left  behind. 

Scaliger,  in  the  third  book  of  his  "  Poetics,"  divides  epigrams  into  five 
classes :  the  first  takes  its  name  from  mel,  or  honey,  and  consists  of  adula- 
tory specimens  ;  the  second  from  7^/,  or  gall ;  the  third  from  acetum,  or  vine- 
gar ;  and  the  fourth  from  sal,  or  salt ;  while  the  fifth  is  styled  the  condensed, 
or  multiplex.  The  classification  is  fanciful  and  of  no  practical  value.  Of 
the  exceedingly  numerous  specimens  of  this  style  of  composition,  the  most 
numerous  are  the  variety  which  might  be  arranged  under  the  rubric  salt,  with 
more  or  less  admixture  of  gall  and  vinegar.  Such,  for  instance,  would  be 
Scaliger's  own 

The  sot  Loserus  is  drunk  twice  a  day, 
Bibinus  only  once  ;  now  of  these  say. 


Which  may  a  man  the  greatest  drunkard  call  1 
Bibinus  still,  for  he's  drunk  once  for  all ; 


or  this,  on  Pope  Paul  II.,  by  Jean  de  Cisinge  (better  known  as  Janus  Panno- 
nius,  who  was  a  great  favorite  with  the  pope,  and  was  made  a  bishop  at 
twenty-six)  : 

"  Holy"  I  may  not,  "  Father"  I  may  call 
Thee,  since  I  see  thy  daughter.  Second  Paul ; 

which  play  upon  "  Father"  calls  to  mind  that  delightful  little  bit  on  "  Pius 
iEneas"  by  Mr.  James  Smith  : 

Virgil,  whose  magic  verse  enthralls, 

(And  who  in  verse  is  greater  ?) 
By  turns  his  wand'ring  hero  calls 

Now  pius  and  now  pater. 
But  when,  prepared  the  worst  to  brave 

(An  action  that  must  pain  us). 
Queen  Dido  meets  him  in  the  cave. 

He  dubs  him  dux  Troja?ius. 
And  well  he  changes  thus  the  word 

On  that  occasion,  sure  : 
Pius  Aifieas  were  absurd. 

And  pater  premature. 


3o8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Of  the  "  salt"  and  "  vinegar"  epigram  the  French  are  doubtless  the  best 
cultivators,  and  many  of  their  best  authors  have  earned  no  small  celebrity  in 
this  department.  The  French  language  lends  itself  more  readily  than  any 
other  to  the  neat  and  sparkling  expression  of  thought :  for  instance, — 

Egle,  belle  et  poete,  a  deux  petits  travers  : 
Elle  fait  son  visage,  et  ne  fait  pas  ses  vers. 

Faire  le  visage  is  to  paint ;  hence  the  point  of  Lebrun's  couplet  does  not  come 

out  distinctly  in  the  translation  : 

For  but  two  faults  our  fair  poet  Egle  the  worse  is  : 

She  makes  her  own  face,  though  she  don't  make  her  verses ! 

Lebrun  alone,  notwithstanding  Rapin's  dictum,  that  a  man  ought  to  be  con- 
tent if  he  succeeded  in  writing  one  really  good  epigram,  is  the  author  of  up- 
wards of  six  hundred,  and  a  very  fair  proportion  of  them  would  pass  muster 
with  Rapin  himself. 

Piron,  who  said  of  himself,  in  the  mock-epitaph  composed  when  he  failed 
of  admission  to  the  " Academie,"  that  he  was  nothing, — not  even  an  "Acade- 
mician,"— 

Ci-git  Piron,  que  ne  fut  rien  : 
Pas  meme  Academicien, — 
("  Here  lies  Piron,  a  man  of  no  position. 
Who  was  not  even — an  Academician"), — 

was,  according  to  Grimm,  "  une  machine  a  saillies,  a  epigrammes  et  bon- 
mots."  He  had  been  the  life-long  satirist  of  the  French  Academy.  He  had 
called  them  "the  invalids  of  wit,"  had  described  them  as  "forty  with  the  wit 
of  four."  Yet  in  1750  he  sought  to  be  elected  to  a  vacancy.  When  asked 
what  he  would  say  if  successful,  he  replied,  "Only  three  words,  'Thank  you, 
gentlemen,'  and  they  will  answer,  '  It  is  not  worth  mentioning' "  ("  II  n'y  a  pas 
de  quoi").  He  failed,  and  consoled  himself  with  the  thought,  "I  could  not 
make  thirty-nine  think  as  I  do,  still  less  could  I  think  as  thirty-nine  do." 
Three  years  later  he  was  elected,  but  Louis  XV.,  through  the  influence  of 
Madame  de  Pompadour,  annulled  the  election,  and  substituted  a  pension  of 
one  thousand  louis.  Thereupon  Piron  sent  his  will  to  the  Academy,  with  the 
well-known  epitaph  inscribed  upon  it. 

Voltaire,  among  his  myriad  many-pointed  things,  wrote  nothing  happier 
than  this  little  verse  on  "  Killing  Time,"  where  "Time"  is  supposed  to  speak  : 

There's  scarce  a  point  whereon  mankind  agree 

So  well  as  in  their  boast  of  killing  me  ; 

I  boast  of  nothing,  but  when  I've  a  mind 

I  think  I  can  be  even  with  mankind. 

The  following,  also,  is  a  rendering  of  a  French  original : 
On  death,  though  wit  is  oft  displayed. 
No  epigram  could  e'er  be  made. 
Poets  stop  short,  and  lose  their  breath. 
When  coming  to  the/o/«/  of  death. 

Anonymous. 
Which  not  only  has  a  point,  but  plays  upon  it. 

Perhaps  more  than  elsewhere  has  the  epigram  been  recognized  in  France 
as  the  weapon  of  political  and  literary  warfare.  Victor  Hugo's  tirst  thought, 
when  in  exile,  was  to  score  his  betrayer  in  verse ;  and  from  the  publication  of 
his  terrible  "Chatiments,"  the  empire  of  the  perjured  saviour  of  society,  of 
the  Dutch  champion  of  the  Latin  race,  was,  to  the  literary  men  whom  Hugo 
left  behind,  a  despotism  tempered  by  epigrams. 

There  is  less  salt  than  vinegar  in  the  epigram  on  Charles  II., — 
Here  lies  our  sovereign  lord  the  king. 

Whose  word  no  man  relies  on  ; 
Who  never  said  a  foolish  thing. 
And  never  did  a  wise  one, — 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  309 

and  he  betrayed  a  good  deal  of  equanimity  and  good  sense  when  he  very 
wittily  turned  it  by  saying,  "That  is  very  true,  for  my  words  are  my  own,  my 
actions  are  my  ministry's."  Neither  is  there  much  Attic  flavor  in  the  "deadly 
thrust"  of  Young  at  Voltaire,  when,  the  latter  having  in  Young's  presence 
decried  Milton's  genius,  and  ridiculed  particularly  the  personification  in  "  Para- 
dise Lost"  of  Death,  Sin,  and  Satan,  the  Englishman  retorted, — 

Thou  art  so  witty,  wicked,  and  so  thin, 
Thou  art  at  once  the  Devil,  Death,  and  Sin. 

In  Germany  the  epigram  was  cultivated  with  2.  penchant  to  moral  reflections 
by  Logau,  under  the  name  of  "  Sinngedichte,"  but  particularly  and  with  success 
by  the  bright  keen  intellect  of  Lessing.  According  to  Lessing,  it  is  not  enough 
that  a  poem  be  terse,  short,  illuminating  in  a  flash  a  single  point  or  thought ;  it 
must  be  characterized  by  the  epigraphic  form  :  "A  true  epigram  should  con- 
sist of  two  parts  :  first,  that  which  raises  our  expectation,  and  secondly,  the 
satisfying  fulfilment.  For  example,  in  the  distich  of  Piron  above  quoted,  the 
first  line  raises  our  expectation.  Why  should  Piron  tell  us  that  he  is  nobody? 
And  if  he  is  nobody,  what  then  >  But  the  second  line  makes  the  witty  writer's 
meaning  clear,  and  we  are  pleased  and  satisfied  as  by  an  inscription." 

Ci-git  ma  femme  :  ah,  qu'elle  est  bien 
Pour  son  repos, — et  pour  le  mien  ! 

("  Beneath  this  stone  my  wife  doth  lie  : 
Now  she's  at  rest,  and  so  am  I  !") 

BOILEAU. 

Here,  too,  the  curiosity  is  excited  in  the  same  manner.  Of  course  it  is  re- 
poseful for  the  good  woman  to  lie  there  ;  why  should  he  be  at  the  pains  of 
telling  us  that  ?  but  the  words  "  et  pour  le  mien"  give  an  unexpected  and 
happy  turn  to  the  matter  ;  they  come  with  the  effect  of  the  unexpected,  and 
answer  our  curiosity,  raised  by  the  telling  us  such  an  evident  thing.  And 
good  for  his  own  repose,  too  !  We  laugh  and  are  satisfied.  The  epigram 
need  not  be  in  the  nature  of  an  epitaph  ;  any  other  matter  will  do,  so  it  has  the 
requisite  formal  elements, — the  expectation  raised  and  satisfied  by  a  striking 
or  pleasing  answer.  We  quote  one  of  Lessing's  "  Sinngedichte,"  on  the 
shoemaker  who  forsook  the  last  and  turned  to  making  poems : 
Es  hat  der  Schuster  Franz  zum  Dichter  sich  entziickt, 
Und  was  er  fruher  that,  das  thut  er  noch — er  flickt  1 

which  may  be  roughly  rendered, -r— 

Old  cobbler  Wax,  the  poets  he  would  match  ; 
He  changed  his  trade,  and  yet  kept  on — to  patch. 

The  flower  of  the  epigram  came  late  into  the  garden  of  English  literature, 
and  there  remains  much  to  be  done  in  the  way  of  cultivation  before  it  will  be 
brought  to  full  bloom  ;  although  it  is  true  there  are  a  few  good  epigrams  in  the 
language.  Henry  Parrot,  in  "  Springes  to  catch  Woodcocks"  (1613),  likened 
the  epigram  to  cheese,  in  the  simile, — 

We  make  our  epigrammes,  as  men  taste  cheese. 

Which  has  his  relish  in  the  last  farewell ; 

which  is  a  woful  fall  from  the  bee  with  its  honey  and  sting.  Harrington, 
who  was  contemporary  with  him,  is  still  remembered  by  his  lines, — 

Treason  doth  never  prosper.     What's  the  reason? 

For  if  it  prospers,  none  dare  call  it  treason. 

John  Owen,  a  Welshman,  an  Oxonian  and  poor  country  school-master,  w.-is 
prolific,  if  not  always  happy.  Among  his  Latin  epigrams,  published  in  1620, 
was  one  which  gained  for  his  book  a  place  on  the  Index,  and  lost  him  a 
legacy  : 


3IO  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

An  Petrus  fuerit  Romse,  sub  judice  lis  est : 
Simonem  Romae  nemo  fuisse  negat. 

("  If  Peter  ever  was  at  Rome, 
By  many  has  been  mooted  ; 
That  Simon  there  was  quite  at  home. 
Has  never  been  disputed.") 

Ben  Jonson  in  his  "Underwoods"  has  many  small  gems  which  might  be 
classed  as  epigrams  in  the  wider  sense  of  the  word.  There  are  a  few  similar 
in  Spenser,  and  many  in  Herrick.  Cowley,  Waller,  Dryden,  Young,  and 
Goldsmith  are  occasionally  successful,  in  a  way,  in  their  epigrammatical 
attempts.  Swift's  bludgeon  was  too  heavy.  It  is  all  gall  and  vinegar  with 
him,  as  in  this  on  his  own  deafness  : 

Deaf,  giddy,  helpless,  left  alone. 

To  all  my  friends  a  burden  grown ; 

No  more  I  hear  my  church's  bell 

Than  if  it  rang  out  for  my  knell ; 

At  thunder  now  no  more  I  start 

Than  at  the  rumbling  of  a  cart; 

And,  what's  incredible,  alack  ! 

No  more  I  hear  a  woman's  clack. 

Than  Pope,  whose  name  is  identified  with  the  epigrammatical  spirit  in  our 
literature,  none  has  proved  himself  more  to  the  manner  born.  His  anti- 
thetical couplets  are  a  veritable  string  of  epigrams,  but  too  often  have  too 
much  the  characteristic  of  the  hornet  rather  than  the  bee,  and  he  confounded 
wit  and  scurrility.  His  epitaph  on  Sir  Isaac  Newton,  however,  is  worthy  of 
inclusion  in  the  most  select  collection  : 

Nature  and  Nature's  laws  lay  hid  in  night ; 
God  said.  Let  Newton  be, — and  all  was  light. 

This  epitaph  was  not  engraved  on  the  monument  in  Westminster  Abbey, 
but  a  prose  Latin  inscription  was  preferred,  and  the  couplet  condemned  as 
irreverent. 

Addison  rather  improved  on  his  Latin  prototype  in  his  paraphrase  of  the 
lines  "  To  a  Capricious  Friend  :" 

In  all  thy  humors,  whether  grave  or  mellow, 

Thou'rt  such  a  touchy,  testy,  pleasant  fellow. 

Hast  so  much  wit  and  mirth  and  spleen  about  thee. 

There  is  no  living  with  thee,  nor  without  thee. 

The  singular  death  of  Moliere,  who,  while  playing  the  7-dle  of  a  dying  man  in 
one  of  his  own  comedies,  was  seized  with  a  mortal  illness,  and,  being  carried 
off  the  stage,  died  in  a  few  hours,  is  commemorated  in  the  following  quaint 
lines : 

Within  this  melancholy  tomb  confined. 
Here  lies  the  matchless  ape  of  human  kind. 
Who  while  he  labored  with  ambitious  strife 
To  mimic  death,  as  he  had  mimicked  life. 
So  well,  or  rather  ill,  performed  his  part. 
That  Death,  delighted  with  his  wondrous  art. 
Snatched  up  the  copy,  to  the  grief  of  France, 
And  made  it  an  original  at  once. 

The  number  of  lampooning  epigrammatic  verses  directed  against  the  common 
foibles,  the  painting  women  and  the  soporific  parson,  the  rascally  lawyer  and 
the  quack  doctor,  the  miser  and  the  plagiarist,  are  legion,  and  these  topics 
have  been  worn  threadbare  with  them.  Very  few  are  worth  quoting.  Here 
is  one  by  Samuel  Bishop  which  is  above  the  average  : 
A  fool  and  knave,  with  different  views. 

For  Julia's  hand  apply  ; 
The  knave  to  mend  his  fortune  sues. 
The  fool  to  please  his  eye. 


3M 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 

Ask  you  how  Julia  will  behave  ?— 

Depend  on't  for  a  rule, 
If  she's  a  fool,  she'll  wed  the  knave. 

If  she's  a  knave,  the  fool ; 

and  one  on  a  certain  ponderous  gentleman  with  heavy  tread  : 

When  Edwards  walks  the  streets,  the  paviors  cry, 
"  God  bless  you,  sir  !"  and  lay  their  rammers  by.' 

Here  are  a  few  more  on  the  most  diverse  subjects : 
Marriage  in  Heaven. 

Cries  Sylvia  to  a  reverend  dean, 

"  What  reason  can  be  given. 
Since  marriage  is  a  holy  thing. 

Why  there  is  none  in  heaven?" 
"  There  are  no  women,"  he  replied. 

She  quick  returns  the  jest, — 
"  Women  there  are,  but  I'm  afraid 

They  cannot  find  a  priest." 

DODSLEY. 

Woman. 

When  Adam,  waking,  first  his  lids  unfolds 
In  Eden's  groves,  beside  him  he  beholds 
Bone  of  his  bone,  flesh  of  his  flesh,  and  knows 
His  earliest  sleep  has  proved  his  last  repose. 

Quid  Pro  Quo. 

"  Marriage,  not  mirage,  Jane,  here  in  your  letter : 
With  your  education,  you  surely  know  better." 
Quickly  spoke  my  young  wife,  while  I  sat  in  confusion, 
"  'Tis  quite  correct,  Thomas  :  they're  each  an  illusion." 

On  the  Picture  of  a  Loquacious  Senator. 

A  lord  of  senatorial  fame 

Was  by  his  portrait  known  outright ; 
For  so  the  painter  played  his  game. 

It  made  one  even  yawn  at  sight. 
"  'Tis  he,  the  same, — there's  no  defect 

But  want  of  speech,"  exclaimed  a  flat  ; 
To  whom  the  limner,  "  Pray,  reflect 

'Tis  surely  not  the  worse  for  that. 

Anonymous. 

Terminer  sans  Oyer. 

"  Call  silence  I"  the  judge  to  the  officer  cries  ; 

"  This  hubbub  and  talk,  will  it  never  be  done  ? 
Those  people  this  morning  have  made  such  a  noise, 
^  We've  decided  ten  causes  without  hearing  one." 

Abundance  of  Fools. 

The  world  of  fools  has  such  a  store 

That  he  who  would  not  see  an  ass 
Must  bide  at  home,  and  bolt  his  door. 

And  break  his  looking-glass. 

La  Monnoye. 

The  World. 

'Tis  an  excellent  world  that  we  live  in 

To  lend,  to  spend,  or  to  give  in  : 

But  to  borrow,  or  beg,  or  get  a  man's  own, 

'Tis  just  the  worst  world  that  ever  was  known. 

The  following  epigram,  composed  in  his  eighteenth  year,  on  his  grand- 
mother's beard,  cost  Coleridge  a  legacy  of  fifty  pounds,  for  "she  had  the 
♦  barbarity'  to  avenge  it  by  striking  me  out  of  her  will,"  wrote  the  poet : 


312  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

So  great  the  charms  of  Mrs.  Monday, 

That  men  grew  rude  a  kiss  to  gain  ; 
This  so  provoked  the  dame  that  one  day 

To  Pallas'  power  she  did  complain. 
Nor  vainly  she  addressed  her  prayer, 

Nor  vainly  to  that  power  applied  ; 
The  goddess  bade  a  length  of  hair 

In  deep  recess  her  muzzle  hide  : 
Still  persevere  !  to  love  be  callous  ! 

For  I  have  your  petition  heard  ; 
To  snatch  a  kiss  were  vain  (cried  Pallas), 

Unless  you  first  should  shave  your  beard. 

From  a  manuscript  note  ivritten  by  Coleridge  in  a  volume 
of  "Omniana,"  by  Soutltey  and  Coleridge  (1812). 

Lord  Erskine  proved  himself  an  epigrammatist  of  no  mean  order  when,  on 
the  removal  of  a  distinguished  counsellor  from  a  house  in  Red  Lion  Square, 
and  an  ironmonger's  becoming  its  occupant,  he  wrote  the  following  epigram 
on  the  change  : 

This  house,  where  once  a  lawyer  dwelt. 

Is  now  a  smith's.     Alas  ! 
How  rapidly  the  iron  age 
Succeeds  the  age  of  brass  ! 

and  the  following  on  "  French  Taste"  from  his  hand  is  excellent : 
The  French  have  taste  in  all  they  do. 

Which  we  are  quite  without  ; 
For  Nature,  that  to  them  gave  goiit. 

To  us  gave  only  gout. 

John  Gibson  Lockhart  produced  the  following  epigram  upon  Lord  Robert- 
son, better  known  as  "  Peter"  or  Patrick  Robertson  : 

Here  lies  the  Christian,  judge,  and  poet  Peter, 
Who  broke  the  laws  of  God,  and  man,  and  metre. 

This  he  sent  to  his  friend  as  part  of  a  review,  printed  though  never  published, 
on  the  learned  lord's  poem  entitled  "  Italy."  The  second  line  effectively  de- 
molishes all  the  pretensions  put  forth  in  the  first.  But  Lockhart  meant  only  a 
jest,  and  as  such,  after  a  little  preliminary  alarm,  it  was  accepted  by  its  good- 
natured  victim. 

Thomas  Moore  is  responsible  for  the  following  : 

Of  all  speculations  the  market  holds  forth. 

The  best  that  I  know,  for  the  lover  of  pelf. 
Is  to  buy  Marcus  up  at  the  price  he  is  worth. 
And  sell  him  at  that  which  he  sets  on  himself. 

Byron  thought  Samuel  Rogers's  epigram  on  Ward  (Lord  Dudley)  unsur- 
passable : 

Ward  has  no  heart,  they  say  ;  but  I  deny  it. 
He  has  a  heart,  and  gets  his  speeches  by  it. 
With  these  may  be  classed  the  epigram  "  on  a  lady  who  kept  her  bank-notes 
in  her  Bible  :" 

Your  Bible,  madam,  teems  with  wealth ; 

Within  the  leaves  it  floats. 
Delightful  is  the  sacred  te.\t. 
But  heavenly  the  notes. 

The  following  sprouted  on  American  soil,  and  will  pass  muster  in  a  very 
good  company.  The  first  is  on  a  lady  who  published  a  volume  of  shocking 
bad  verse  : 

Unfortunate  lady,  how  sad  is  your  lot ! 

Your  ringlets  are  red,  your  poems  are  not ; 

the  other  is  on  a  parvenu  : 

Not  one  of  Lamb's  choice  epigrams  doth  Shoddy  know ; 
Still,  in  their  place,  he  gives  us  epigraimnes  d'agneau  ! — 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  313 

which  is  not  only  a  very  excellent  epigram  of  the  satirical  variety,  but  is  a 
very  good  bilingual  pun  as  well.  To  appreciate  it  one  must  understand  that 
in  the  French  culinary  art  "  ipigrammes'''  is  the  name  for  chops,  and  that 
hence  "  epigrammes  d'agneau"  means  lamb-chops,  as  well  as  epigrams  of 
Lamb. 

In  surveying  the  true  requisites  which  a  developed  literary  taste  demands 
in  the  modern  epigram,  it  must  be  admitted,  much  contrary  criticism  non  con- 
stat, that  besides  the  "little  mite  of  a  body"  and  the  "honey"  it  must  have  a 
point,  a  climax  ;  in  other  words,  the  "sting."  The  common  error,  however,  is 
that  the  "  sting"  must  be  biting,  malicious,  or  sarcastic  ;  and  in  their  anxiety  to 
provide  their  efforts  with  this  termination  most  of  the  epigrammatists  have 
quite  forgotten  the  "  honey."  The  sting,  while  demanded  by  the  canons  of  the 
art,  need  not  be  malicious  nor  sarcastic  ;  it  need  not  even  be  witty. 

If  this  definition  of  the  epigram  excludes  from  the  category  such  exquisite 
bits  as  the  lines  addressed  by  St.-Evremond,  who  could  still  see  charms  in  the 
gifted  Ninon  de  I'Enclos  in  her  later  years, — 

No,  no, — the  season  to  inspire 

A  lover's  flame  is  past  ; 
But  that  of  glowing  with  the  fire 

As  long  as  life  will  last, — 

or  this  in  another  vein,  which  is  given  as  "  a  nearly  perfect  nineteenth-century 
specimen  of  the  fine  old  form  of  Greek  epigram,  which  did  not  depend  upon 
any  particular  point  in  one  part,  but  is  point  all  over :"  it  is  a  distich  on  one 
of  the  Eton  Fellows, — one  Bethell, — a  well-meaning,  loud,  not  very  solid 
preacher,  who  was  bursar  of  the  college, — 

Didactic,  dry,  declamatory,  dull, 

The  bursar  Bethell  bellows  like  a  bull, — 

Mathews:   Wit  and  Humor  : 

and  while  we  may  have  to  give  up  Landor's 

On  love,  on  grief,  on  every  human  thing. 
Time  sprinkles  Lethe's  waters  with  his  wing, — 

and  possibly  even  this, — 

I  will  not  love  ! 

These  sounds  have  often 

Burst  from  a  troubled  breast ; 
Rarely  from  one  no  sigh  could  soften. 

Rarely  from  one  at  rest, — 

yet  we  can  still  cite  as  examples  which  satisfy  all  requirements  the  following 
charming  four-line  epigram  by  Aaron  Hill,  a  now  ail-but  forgotten  seven- 
teenth-century poet : 

Modesty. 

As  lamps  bum  silent,  with  unconscious  light. 
So  modest  ease  in  beauty  shines  most  bright ; 
Unaiming  charms  with  edge  resistless  fall, 
And  she  who  means  no  mischief,  does  it  atl ; 

or  these  fugitive  lines  of  Coleridge  : 

Acquaintance  many,  and  conquaintance  few. 

But  for  inquaintance  I  know  only  two, — 

The  friend  I've  wept  with,  and  the  maid  I  woo. 

The  following,  which  we  are  proud  to  claim  as  American,  appeared  in 
the  Atlantic  Monthly  for  1891  : 

Distinction. 

When  past  Oblivion's  pale  the  throng  upstarts, 
Seek  we  the  shade  and  a  few  quiet  hearts. 


3M 


HANDY-BOOK  OF 
A  Rhyme  of  Life. 


Dost  think  it  was  for  nothing  that  "  to-morrow 

The  Muse  from  oldest  time  has  linked  with  "  sorrow"? 

The  Derelict. 

He  drifts  along  as  his  lost  Genius  becks, 

A  wreck  of  Fate,  and  fated  source  of  wrecks. 

Opinion. 

In  gulf — or  pool — their  fathom-line  they  sink. 
And  still  they  strive  to  think  what  they  do  think. 

Nodding  Critics. 

You  saw  good  Homer  nod  ?     But  I  saw  you  ; 
Asleep  you  were  !     (Some  say  that  I  slept,  too.) 

In  presenting  them,  the  author,  warning  the  neophyte  of  the  difficulties  to 
be  met  and  overcome  in  composing  a  perfect  epigram,  and  the  care  he  must 
exercise  to  get  its  ingredients  into  the  composition  in  their  due  proportion, 
says,  "  For  the  'honey'  without  the  'sting'  results  in  a  diminutive  lyric,  while 
the  '  sting'  without  the  '  honey'  produces  a  mere  philippic  in  two  lines.  If 
the  present  adventurer  shall  be  found  simply  to  have  been  tossed  from  one 
alternate  danger  to  the  other,  at  least  he  begs  to  cover  his  retreat  under  an 
old,  serviceable,  and  ingenious  borrowing  in  which  none  of  the  three  requisites 
is  lacking  :  '  Video  meliora,  proboque  ;  deteriora  sequor.'  " 

He  is  probably  too  modest,  for  at  least  one  of  the  examples  given,  which  we 
have  reserved  to  the  last,  seems  the  ultimate  perfection,  the  very  sublimation 
of  the  epigrammatic  muse  :  here  are  Spartan  brevity,  Attic  salt,  a  little  body, 
sweet  honey,  and  a  sting  in  the  "  laugh  :" 

An  Autograph, 

He  wrote  upon  the  sand  his  autograph ; 
A  little  wave  erased  it  with  a  laugh. 

Epitaphs,  Curiosities  o£  The  oldest  extant  epitaphs  are  the  Egyptian, 
•written  on  the  sarcophagi.  But  they  are  brief  and  pointless.  They  give  only 
the  name  and  rank  of  the  deceased,  and  a  prayer  to  Osiris  or  Anubis.  The 
Greek  and  Roman  epitaphs  are  much  more  interesting.  The  former  are  the 
finest  in  the  world.  In  connection  with  the  inferior  Roman  they  have  furnished 
the  germ  idea  of  most  of  the  mortuary  inscriptions  of  modern  times.  Thus, 
the  lines  of  Leonidas  of  Tarentum,  which,  after  commemorating  Crethon's 
wealth  and  power,  conclude  with  the  reflection, — 

This  man. 
Envied  of  all,  now  holds  of  all  a  span, — 
have  been  the  fruitful  parent  of  infinite  variations  of  the  same  theme,  as,  for 
example,  in  the  lines  from  Henry  II.'s  epitaph  : 

To  me,  who  thought  the  earth's  extent  too  small 
Now  eight  poor  feet,  a  narrow  space,  are  all. 

Or  take  one  of  Meleager's  epitaphs,  which  has  been  thus  versified  by  S.  H. 
Merivale  : 

Hail,  universal  mother!     Lightly  rest 

On  that  dead  form. 
Which  when  with  life  invested  ne'er  oppressed 
Its  fellow-worm. 

Martial  has  imitated  this ;  and  either  to  Martial  or  Meleager  are  referable 
the  many  modern  variations  on  the  same  theme,  thus  parodied  in  the  mock 
inscription  to  Sir  John  Vanbrugh,  architect  as  well  as  playwright : 

Lie  heavy  on  him,  earth,  for  he 

Laid  many  a  heavy  load  on  thee. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  315 

Callimachus  wrote  an  epitaph  on  Saon  which  is  also  well  known  : 

Beneath  this  stone  Acanthian  Saon  lies, 
In  holy  sleep  :  the  good  man  never  dies. 

The  last  section  of  the  second  line  has  been  copied  and  recopied  on  tomb- 
stone after  tombstone,  until  it  may  almost  rank  with  such  a  perennial  favorite 
as  "  Afflictions  sore  long  time  he  bore."  Sometimes  the  whole  epitaph  is 
copied,  with  a  change  of  name.  It  is  carved,  for  example,  on  Bishop  Madan's 
tomb,  with  "  pious  bishop"  in  lieu  of  "  Acanthian  Saon."  As  to  the  reiterated 
conceit  in  memorials  to  infants,  that  if  death  cuts  short  their  joys  it  also  cuts 
short  their  sorrows,  it  has  its  germ  in  an  epitaph  by  Lucian. 

"  Thou  art  not  dead,  but  gone  to  a  better  land,"  from  a  Greek  epitaph  found 
in  Rome,  is  our  "Not  dead,  but  gone  before."  On  the  other  hand,  the 
sceptical  "  I  was  not.  I  am  not.  I  grieve  not,"  reminds  one  of  the  epitaphs 
which  Professor  William  K.  Clifford  composed  for  himself;  and  nothing  in 
any  modern  infidel  is  more  sweeping  than  this  ; 

Traveller,  pass  not  by  this  inscription,  but  stand,  and  hear,  and  learn  something  before  you 
pass  on.  There  is  no  boat  to  Hades,  no  boatman  Charon,  no  dog  Cerberus,  but  all  the  dead 
are  bones  and  dust  and  nothing  else. 

A  Roman  husband,  after  mentioning  the  years,  months,  days,  and  even 
hours  that  he  and  his  departed  wife  had  lived  together,  concludes,  "  On  the 
day  of  her  death  I  gave  the  greatest  thanks  before  God  and  men."  Is  not 
this  the  direct  ancestor  of  the  much-quoted  epitaph  in  Pere-la-Chaise  t — 

Ci-git  ma  femme  :  ah  !  que  c'est  bien 
Pour  son  repos,  et  pour  le  mien  ! 

Nay,  that  most  famous  epitaph  in  all  literature,  that  in  which  Shakespeare 
implores  that  his  bones  shall  remain  undisturbed, — 
Good  frend,  for  Jesus  sake  forbeare 
To  digg  the  dust  encloased  heare ; 
Bleste  be  y  man  y'  spares  thes  stones. 
And  ciu-st  be  he  y'  moves  my  bones, — 

even  this  is  but  a  mild  echo  of  the  terrible  denunciations  which  Roman 
epitaphs  frequently  pronounced  upon  those  who  violated  the  sanctity  of  the 
tomb,  e.g. : 

I  give  to  the  Gods  below  this  tomb  to  keep,  to  Pluto,  and  to  Demeter,  and  Persephone, 
and  the  Erinnyes,  and  all  the  Gods  below.  If  any  one  shall  disfigure  this  sepulchre,  or  shall 
open  it,  or  move  anything  from  it,  to  him  let  there  be  no  earth  to  walk,  no  sea  to  sail,  but  may 
he  be  rooted  out  with  all  his  race.  May  he  feel  all  diseases,  shuddering,  and  fever,  and  mad- 
ness, and  whatsoever  ills  exist  for  beasts  or  men,  may  these  light  on  him  who  dares  move 
aught  from  this  tomb. 

Such  is  the  conservative  tendency  of  the  epitaph-maker  that  even  old  sepul- 
chral forms  were  retained  long  after  they  had  lost  their  significance,  such  as 
the  initials  D.  M.  (Diis  Manibus),  or  the  ejaculation  Siste,  viator,  "  Stop,  pas- 
senger," which  constituted  an  integral  part  of  all  Latin  epitaphs.  The  latter 
lost  its  appropriateness  out  of  Rome,  where  private  burial-places  were  usually 
ranged  along  the  side  of  the  public  roads,  so  that  travellers  to  and  from  the 
Eternal  City  passed  for  miles  through  an  almost  uninterrupted  succession  of 
tombstones. 

For  a  long  time,  also,  the  Roman  language  remained  the  proper  niortuary 
language  both  in  England  and  in  Continental  Europe.  The  few  British  epi- 
taphs that  survive  from  the  eleventh  and  twelfth  centuries  are  in  Latin. 
Between  1200  and  1400,  French  epitaphs  are  not  uncommon.  The  oldest 
epitaph  in  English,  found  in  a  church-yard  in  Oxfordshire,  dates  from  the  year 
1370.  To  modern  readers  it  would  be  unintelligible,  not  only  from  its  antique 
typography  but  from  its  obsolete  language.  The  first  two  lines  run  as  follows, 
and  they  may  be  taken  as  a  sample  of  the  whole  :  "  Man  com  &  se  how  schal 


31 6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

alle  dede  be  :  wen  yow  comes  bad  &  bare  :  noth  hav  ven  we  away  fare  :  all  ys 
werines  yt  ve  for  care."  The  modern  reading  would  be,  "  Man  come  and  see 
how  shall  all  dead  be :  when  you  come  poor  and  bare :  nothing  have  when  we 
away  fare  :  all  is  weariness  that  we  for  care." 

In  the  reign  of  Queen  Elizabeth  the  epitaph  first  began  to  assume  a  dis- 
tinct literary  character.  But  the  prejudice  in  favor  of  a  dead  language  still 
survived.  In  a  conservative  mind  like  that  of  Dr.  Johnson  it  was  so  deeply 
intrenched,  that  when  Reynolds,  Sheridan,  Warton,  and  others  petitioned 
him  to  write  an  English  inscription  for  Goldsmith's  tomb,  he  indignantly 
replied,  "  he  would  never  consent  to  disgrace  the  walls  of  Westminster  Abbey 
with  an  English  inscription." 

It  must  be  acknowledged  that  there  is  no  small  poverty  of  thought  in  the 
mass  of  modern  epitaph-writers.  Only  a  meagre  proportion  make  contribu- 
tions to  literature.  Among  these,  two  by  Ben  Jonson  stand  pre-eminent.  They 
are  constantly  misquoted.  In  his  collected  works  they  appear  in  endless 
variants.     But  this  is  exactly  how  they  read  on  the  tombs  ; 

On  the  Countess  Dowager  of  Pembroke,  sister  to  Sir  Philip 
Sidney.  . 

Underneath  this  marble  hearse 
Lies  the  subject  of  all  verse  : 
Sidney's  sister,  Pembroke's  mother. 
Death,  ere  thou  hast  kill'd  another. 
Wise  and  virtuous,  good  as  she. 
Time  will  throw  his  dart  at  thee. 

On  Elizabeth  L . 

.    Would'st  thou  hear  what  man  can  say 
In  a  little  ?     Reader,  stay. 
Underneath  this  stone  doth  lie 
As  much  beauty  as  could  die. 
Which,  in  life,  did  harbor  give 
To  more  virtue  than  doth  live. 
If  at  all  she  had  a  fault. 
Leave  it  buried  in  this  vault ; 
One  name  was  Elizabeth, 
Th'  other  let  it  sleep  with  death ; 
Fitter  when  it  died  to  tell. 
Than  that  it  lived  at  all. — Farewell  I 

Pope's  epitaphs  were  once  highly  admired.  But  they  are  too  cold  and 
artificial  for  the  modern  taste.  Perhaps  the  best  is  that  on  John  Gay,  begin- 
ning,— 

Of  manners  gentle,  of  affections  mild  ; 
In  wit  a  man,  simplicity  a  child. 

But  these  opening  lines  are  stolen  from  Dryden  : 

Her  wit  was  more  than  man,  her  innocence  a  child. 

Elegy  on  Mrs.  Killigreiv. 
Another,  on  Harcourt,  is  short  and  quotable  : 

To  this  sad  shrine,  whoe'er  thou  art  !  draw  near  ; 
Here  lies  the  friend  most  loved,  the  son  most  dear. 
Who  ne'er  knew  joy  but  friendship  might  divide. 
Or  gave  his  father  grief  but  when  he  died. 

The  last  line  is  derived  from  a  phrase  so  familiar  in  Latin  epitaphs  that  finally 
it  grew,  like  R.  I.  P.,  to  be  indicated  stenographically,  thus  :  De  Qua  N.  D.  A. 
N.  Mortis, — {i.e.,  De  qua  nullum  dolorem  accepi  nisi  mortis, — "who  never 
grieved  me  except  by  her  death"). 

Excellent  in  its  way  is  the  following  by  Sir  Henry  Wotton  on  Sir  Albertus 
Moreton  and  his  wife  : 

He  first  deceased ;  she  for  a  little  tried 

To  live  without  him — liked  it  not — and  died. 


LITERAR  Y  CURIOSITIES.  317 

And  the  following  anonymous  verses  on  an  infant  have  much  merit : 

Just  to  her  lips  the  cup  of  Ufe  she  pressed, 
Found  the  taste  bitter,  and  refused  the  rest. 
She  felt  averse  to  life's  returning  day. 
And  softly  sighed  her  little  soul  away. 

These  quaint  lines  have  a  picturesque  vigor.  They  are,  or  used  to  be,  on  a 
tomb  in  Tiverton  church-yard,  dated  1419  : 

Hoe  hoe  who  lyes  here 

'Tis  I  the  goode  erle  of  Devonsheere 

With  Kate  my  wyfe  to  mee  full  dere 

Wee  lyved  togeather  fj'fty-fyve  years 

That  wee  spent  wee  had 

That  wee  left  wee  lost 

That  wee  gave  wee  have. 

A  later  version  is  quoted  in  Addison's  "  Spectator,"  and  many  variants  are  to 
be  found  all  over  England.  Carlyle  was  fond  of  quoting  the  last  three  lines. 
But  they,  too,  come  from  the  Latin  : 

Extra  fortunam  est,  quidquid  donatur  amicis, 
Quas  dederis,  solas  semper  habebis  opes. 
("  Who  gives  to  friends  so  much  from  Fate  secures. 
That  is  the  only  wealth  forever  yours.") 

Martial. 

Garrick's  epitaph  on  Quin,  in  the  Abbey  Church  at  Bath,  has  been  copied 
oftener  than  it  has  been  exceeded.  Few  are  entitled  to  rank  in  a  higher 
class : 

The  tongue  which  set  the  table  in  a  roar, 

And  charmed  the  public  ear,  is  heard  no  more ; 

Closed  are  those  eyes,  the  harbingers  of  wit. 

Which  spake  before  the  tongue,  what  Shakespeare  writ. 

Cold  is  that  hand  which  ever  was  stretched  forth. 

At  friendship's  call,  to  succor  modest  worth. 

Here  lies  James  Quin  ! — Deign,  reader,  to  be  taught, 

Whate'er  thy  strength  of  body,  force  of  thought. 

In  Nature's  happiest  mould  however  cast. 

To  this  complexion  thou  must  come  at  last ! 

The  last  line  is  especially  famous.  It  has  frequently  been  quoted  as  from 
Shakespeare.  Indeed,  Webster's  Dictionary  attributed  it  to  him.  But  though 
Hamlet's  phrase  is  analogous,  it  is  not  quite  the  same  :  "  Now  get  you  to  my 
lady's  chamber,  and  tell  her,  let  her  paint  an  inch  thick,  to  this  favor  she  must 
come." 

In  an  essay  on  epitaphs  which  Dr.  Johnson  wrote  for  the  Gentleman's  Mag- 
azine (1740),  he  especially  recommends  brevity  and  simplicity.  The  same 
advice  is  hinted  at  in  the  anonymous  epigram, — 

Friend,  in  your  epitaphs  I'm  grieved 

So  very  much  is  said  : 
One-half  will  never  be  believed. 

The  other  never  read. 

"  O  Rare  Ben  Jonson,"  in  Westminster  Abbey,  is  quaint,  as  well  as  simple 
and  brief.  "Exii  Burbage,"  over  the  grave  of  that  celebrated  actor,  is  shorter 
still,  and  professionally  characteristic.  "  Miserrimus,"  on  the  tomb  of  a  name- 
less occupant  in  Worcester  Cathedral,  is  even  more  terse  and  expressive.  On 
a  mouldering  stone  in  an  obscure  country  church-yard  in  the  south  of  England 
may  be  deciphered  the  abrupt  monosyllable  of  three  letters,  "  Fui," — a  con- 
densed memorial  which  cannot  be  paralleled.  The  small  word  of  such  mo- 
mentous meaning  comprises  a  volume  of  wretchedness,  if  the  use  of  the 
preter-perfect  tense  is  intended  to  imply  that  the  desponding  writer  lies  there, 
resolving  into  parent  dust,  without  hope  of  resurrection  or  futurity. 
27* 


3l8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

In  the  epitaph  of  Cardinal  Onuphrio  at  Rome  there  breathes  a  solemn, 
almost  a  bitter,  conviction  of  the  vanity  of  earthly  grandeur  :  "  Hie  jacet  umbra, 
cinis — nihil"  ("  Here  lies  a  shadow — ashes — nothing"). 

Many  of  the  monkish  inscriptions  of  the  so-called  dark  ages  are  especially 
simple  and  effective.  Lord  Byron  copied  two  of  a  very  touching  character 
which  he  found  in  the  Certosa  Cemetery  at  Ferrara :  "  Martini  Luigi  implora 
pace,"  "Lucrezia  Pacini  implora  eterna  quiete."  These  short  sentences, 
so  musical  in  Italian  pronunciation,  contain  doubt,  hope,  and  humility.  The 
dead  were  satiated  with  life,  and  weary  of  the  turmoil  of  existence.  All  they 
wanted,  all  they  asked  for,  was  rest.  Here  is  another  Italian  inscription  of 
much  meaning  compressed  into  few  words  :  "  Stavo  bene  ;  per  star  meglio,  sto 
qui"  ("  I  was  well,  I  would  be  better,  and  here  I  am").  A  certain  Lelio  sums 
up  the  history  of  a  lifetime  in  this  couplet : 

Lelio  sta  sepolto  qui ;    "^ 
Nacque,  visse  e  morri. 
("  Lelio  is  buried  here  ; 

He  was  bom,  he  lived,  he  died.") 

The  annals  of  a  remarkably  uneventful  life  are  similarly  summed  up  in  the 
following  epitaph  in  Kinnel,  Scotland  : 

Any  man  that  please  to  speir, 
John  Hall  lies  here. 
Nothing  in  life  did  betide  him. 
But  honest  men  may  lie  beside  him. 

On  the  tombstone  of  Dr.  Walker,  author  of  a  work  on  "  British  Particles,"  is 

inscribed 

Here  lies  Walker's  Particles. 

Dr.  Fuller's  reads, — 

Here  lies  Fuller's  Earth. 
It  was  this  Fuller  who  remarked  of  Dr.  Caius,  founder  of  the  college  that 
bears  his  name,  "  few  men  might  have  had  a  longer,  none  ever  had  a  shorter 
epitaph :" 

Fui  Caius. 
("  I  was  Caius.") 

But  Mr.  Maginnis  ran  him  a  hard  race  : 

Finis 
Maginnis. 

Douglas  Jerrold  suggested  an  admirable  epitaph  for  Charles  Knight : 

Good  Knight ! 

For  Camden,  the  title  of  his  chief  work  has  been  proposed : 
Camden's  Remains. 
And  it  is  said  that  the  following  appears  on  the  tomb  of  an  auctioneer  at 
Greenwood : 

Going — going — Gone  ! 

There  is  a  touching  simplicity  in  this  example  from  the  French.  It  is  on  a 
tombstone  in  Auvergne  : 

Marie  was  the  only  child  of  her  mother, 

"  And  she  was  a  widow." 
Marie  sleeps  in  this  grave, 

And  the  widow  has  now  no  child. 

But  neither  originality  nor  simplicity  is  the  rule  in  modern  mortuary  litera- 
ture. The  legends  on  the  average  gravestone  are  either  interminable  repeti- 
tions of  familiar  platitudes,  or  when  original  in  sentiment  are  merely  ludicrous. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


319 


A  good  collection  of  epitaphs  forms  one  of  the  most  amusing  chapters  in  the 
history  of  human  vanity,  spite,  vulgarity,  and  general  eccentricity. 

The  laudatory,  and  especially  the  self-laudatory,  epitaphs  have'  a  perennial 
fascination. 

They  began  very  early.  Here  is  one  from  a  slab  of  marble  found  at 
Athens : 

If  there  ever  was  a  thoroughly  good  woman,  I  am  she— both  in  reference  to  righteousness  and 
in  all  other  ways.  But,  being  such,  I  got  no  just  return,  neither  from  those  from  whom  I  expected 
it  nor  from  Providence.  Unhappy,  I  lie  apart  from  my  mother  and  father.  I  say  nothing 
about  what  gratitude  they  showed  me.     Not  they  but  my  sons  provided  for  me. 

The  high  praise  which  this  unfortunate  lady  is  represented  as  claiming  for 
herself  leads  us  to  hope  that  the  epitaph  was  not  her  own  composition,  but 
the  work  of  her  sorrowing  friends,  perhaps  of  those  sons  "  who  had  provided 
for  her." 

Again,  where  an  Athenian  youth  assures  the  reader  of  his  epitaph  that  he 
was  a  sculptor  not  inferior  to  Praxiteles,  we  may  wonder  whether  that  was 
the  young  gentleman's  estimate  of  himself  or  the  partial  judgment  of  his  fond 
friends. 

But  the  epitaph  of  Praecilius,  a  banker  at  Cirta,  was  at  least  endorsed  by  its 
object.  He  informs  us  that  it  was  got  ready  in  his  own  lifetime,  and  there  is 
a  remarkable  mixture  of  self-satisfaction  and  something  like  gratitude  in  what 
he  says  of  himself: 

"  I  was  always  wonderfully  trustworthy  and  entirely  truthful,"  he  remarks. 
"  I  was  sympathetic  to  everybody  :  whom  have  I  not  pitied  anywhere  ?"  Then 
he  states  that  he  had  a  merry  life,  and  a  long  one :  "  I  celebrated  a  hundred 
happy  birthdays  ;  good  fortune  never  left  me." 

For  lofty  bombast  nothing  has  ever  surpassed  the  epitaph  in  Shipley  Church, 
Derbyshire,  England,  in  memory  of  Sir  Thomas  Caryll : 

Ask  not  who  lies  entombed :  that  crime 

Argues  you  lived  not  in  his  time  ; 

His  virtues  answer,  and  to  Fate, 

Outliving  him,  express  their  hate 

For  stealing  'way  the  life  of  one 

Who  (but  for  Fashion)  needs  no  stone 

To  seek  his  praise.     His  worst  did  dye. 

But  best  part  outlives  memory. 
Then  view,  reade,  trace,  his  tombe,  praise,  deedes. 
Which  teares,  joy,  love,  strain,  causeth,  breeds. 

The  reader  will  note  the  peculiarity  in  the  last  two  lines,  in  each  of  which 
the  three  nouns  have  to  be  mentally  paired  off  in  reading  with  the  verbs 
which  they  govern :  thus,  "  view  his  tombe,  reade  his  praise,  trace  his 
deedes,"  etc. 

But  the  epitaph  which  celebrates  the  virtues  and  the  talents  of  Lady  O'Looney 
is  the  greatest  thing  of  its  sort  in  literature.  Who  does  not  know  it .?  Who 
is  not  always  willing  to  read  it  over  again .''  It  is  a  thing  of  beauty,— a  joy 
forever : 

Here  lies  Lady  O'Looney, 

Great-niece  of  Burke,  commonly  called  "  The  Sublime." 

She  was  bland,  passionate,  and  deeply  religious ; 

Also  she  painted  in  water-colors, 

And  sent  several  pictures  to  the  Exhibition. 

She  was  first  cousin  of  Lady  Jones, 

And  of  such  is  the  kingdom  of  Heaven  : 

— namely,  of  bland,  passionate,  and  deeply  religious  ladies,  of  artists  and 
exhibitors  in  water-colors,  of  cousins  to  Lady  Jones  and  grand-nieces  to 
Burke.  Under  these  circumstances  heaven  might  be  a  picturesque  but  could 
hardly  be  a  desirable  abode. 


320  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

There  is  a  faint,  a  very  faint,  anticipation  of  the  great  and  only  Lady 
O'Looney  and  her  epitaph  in  the  church  of  Ightham,  near  Sevenoaks,  Kent. 
A  mural  monument  is  adorned  with  the  bust  of  a  lady  who  was  famous  for 
her  needlework,  and  was  traditionally  reported  to  have  written  the  letter  to 
Lord  Monteagle  which  resulted  in  the  discovery  of  the  Gunpowder  Plot.  The 
following  is  the  inscription  : 

D.  D.  D. 
To  the  pretious  name  and  honour  of  Dame  Dorothy  Selby,  Relict  of 
Sir  William  Selby,  Kt.,  the  only  daughter  and  heire  of  Charles  Bonham,  Esq. 
She  was  a  Dorcas, 
Whose  curious  needle  wound  the  abused  stage 
Of  this  leud  world  into  the  golden  age  ; 
Whose  pen  of  steel  and  silken  inck  enrolled 
The  acts  of  Jonah  in  records  of  gold ; 
Whose  arte  disclosed  that  plot,  which,  had  it  taken, 
Rome  had  triumphed,  and  Britain's  walls  had  shaken. 

She  was 
In  heart  a  Lydia,  and  In  tongue  a  Hanna  ; 
In  zeale  a  Ruth,  in  wedlock  a  Susanna ; 
Prudently  simple,  providently  wary, 
To  the  world  a  Martha,  and  to  heaven  a  Mary. 
Who  put  on  f      in  the  year      |  Pilgrimage,  69. 
immortality  \  of  her         J  Redeemer,  1641. 

In  Silton,  Dorsetshire,  is  the  following  : 

Here  lies  a  piece  of  Christ, — 

a  star  in  dust, 
A  vein  of  gold, — a  china  dish, 

that  must 
Be  used  in  heaven  when  God 

shall  feed  the  just. 

But  this  epitaph,  printed  in  three  lines,  appears  in  the  poems  of  Robert 
"Wilde,  D.D.  (one  of  the  ejected  ministers  in  1662),  whence  it  seems  to  have 
been  calmly  conveyed.  It  is  there  called  "  An  Epitaph  for  a  Godly  Man's 
Tomb,"  and  had  a  companion-piece  entitled  "An  Epitaph  for  a  Wicked 
Man's  Tomb :" 

Here  lies  the  carcass  of  a  cursed  sinner 
Doomed  to  be  roasted  for  the  Devil's  dinner, — 
which  apparently  has  not  been  appropriated  to  any  tombstone. 

A  curious  use  of  a  familiar  quotation  for  laudatory  purposes  is  this : 
Death  loves  a  shining  mark, 
and 
In  this  case  he  had  it. 
A  very  humble-minded  gentleman,  a  certain  Rev.  Dr.  Greenwood,  had  a 
proportionately  high  admiration  for  his  wife,  which  he  thus  expresses  on  her 
tomb  in  Solihull  church-yard,  Warwickshire  : 

Go,  cruel  Death,  thou  hast  cut  down 

"The  fairest  Greenwood  in  all  this  kingdom ! 

Her  virtues  and  good  qualities  were  such 

"That  surely  she  deserved  a  lord  or  judge ; 

But  her  piety  and  humility 

Made  her  prefer  me,  a  Doctor  in  Divinity; 

Which  heroic  action,  joined  to  all  the  rest. 

Made  her  to  be  esteemed  the  Phoenix  of  her  sex  ; 

And  like  that  bird,  a  young  she  did  create 

To  comfort  those  her  loss  had  made  disconsolate 

My  grief  for  her  was  so  sore 

That  I  can  only  utter  two  lines  more  : 

For  this  and  all  other  good  women's  sake. 

Never  let  blisters  be  applied  to  a  lying-in  woman's  back. 

A  high  eulogium  to  the  vocal  powers  and  incidentally  to  the  agreeable 
character  of  John  Quebecca  is  paid  on  his  tombstone  in  Saragossa : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  321 

Here  lies  John  Quebecca,  precentor  to  My  Lord  the  King.  When  he  is  admitted  to  the 
choir  of  angels,  whose  society  he  will  embellish,  and  where  he  will  distinguish  himself  by  his 
powers  of  song,  God  shall  say  to  the  angels,  "  Cease,  ye  calves !  and  let  me  hear  John  Que- 
becca, the  precentor  of  My  Lord  the  King  !" 

It  is  in  remembrance  of  such  fulsome  compliments  as  these  that  the  ghastly 
jest  was  made,  that  skulls  grin  at  thought  of  the  epitaphs  above  them.  But 
the  grin  must  be  on  the  wrong  side  of  Mary  Bond's  skull  if  she  has  any  cog- 
nizance of  the  inscription  on  her  tomb.  Here  it  is,  as  it  still  may  be  seen  on 
a  monument  in  Horsley  Down  Church,  Cumberland,  England  : 

Here  lie  the  bodies  of 

Thomas  Bond  and  Mary  his  wife. 

She  was  temperate,  chaste,  and  charitable. 

But 

She  was  proud,  peevish,  and  passionate. 

She  was  an  affectionate  wife  and  a  tender 

mother. 

But 

Her  husband  and  child,  whom  she  loved,  seldom 

saw  her  countenance  without  a 

disgusting  frown  ; 

Whilst  she  received  visitors  whom  she  despised 

with  an  endearing  smile. 

Her  behaviour  was  discreet  towards  strangers. 

But 

Imprudent  in  her  family. 

Abroad  her  conduct  was  influenced  by  good 

breeding. 

But 

At  home  by  ill  temper. 

She  was  a  professed  enemy  to  flattery,  and  was 

seldom  known  to  praise  or  commend  ; 

But 

The  talents  in  which  she  principally  excelled 

Were  difference  of  opinion  and  discovering 

flaws  and 

Imperfections. 

She  was  an  admirable  economist. 

And,  without  prodigality. 

Dispensed  plenty  to  every  person  in  her  family. 

But 
Would  sacrifice  their  eyes  to  a  farthing  candle. 
She  sometimes  made  her  husband 
Happy  with  her  good  qualities. 
But 
Much  more  frequently  miserable  with  her 
Many  failings. 
Insomuch  that  in  thirty  years'  cohabitation. 
He  often  lamented  that, 
Maugre  all  her  virtues. 
He  had  not  on  the  whole  enjoyed  two  years 
Of  matrimonial  comfort. 
At  length. 
Finding  she  had  lost  the  affection  of  her  hus- 
band, as  well  as  the  regard  of  her  neigh- 
bours, family  disputes  having  been 

divulged  by  servants. 

She  died  of  vexation,  July  20,  1768, 

Aged  48  years. 

Her  worn-out  husband  survived  her  four  months 

and  two  days,  and  departed  this  life 

November  22,  1768, 

In  the  54th  year  of  his  age. 

William  Bond,  brother  to  the  deceased. 

Erected  this  stone  as  a 

Weekly  monitor  to  the  wives  of  this  parish. 

That  they  may  avoid  the  infamy  of  having 

Their  memories  handed  down  to  posterity 

with  a  patchwork  character. 


322  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Benjamin  Franklin  is  buried  beside  his  wife  in  Philadelphia,  with  nothing 
to  mark  the  graves  save  this  inscription  on  a  plain  slab : 

Benjamin) 

and       ^Franklin. 


■}■ 


1790. 

Far  more  famous  is  the  epigram  which  he  composed  upon  himself,  at  the  age 

of  twenty-three,  when  a  journeyman  printer  : 

The  Body 

of 

Benjamin  Franklin,  Printer, 

(Like  the  cover  of  an  old  book. 

Its  contents  torn  out, 

And  stript  of  its  lettering  and  gilding,) 

Lies  food  for  worms  : 

Yet  the  work  itself  shall  not  be  lost. 

For  it  will  [as  he  believed]  appear  once  more. 

In  a  new 

And  more  beautiful  edition. 

Corrected  and  amended 

by 

The  Author. 

But  this  epitaph  is  not  original.  It  is  plagiarized  from  one  Benjamin  Wood- 
bridge,  and  Woodbridge  was  only  one  in  a  long  line  of  successive  imitators. 
This  gentleman  was  a  member  of  the  first  graduating  class  of  Harvard  Uni- 
versity, 1642.  The  epitaph  he  made  upon  himself  is  thus  quoted  in  Cotton 
Mather's  "  Magnalia  Christi  Americana,"  a  book  with  which  Franklin  was 
admittedly  familiar : 

A  living,  breathing  Bible ;  tables  where 

Both  Covenants  at  large  engraven  were. 

Gospel  and  law,  in  's  heart,  had  each  its  column ; 

His  head  an  index  to  the  sacred  volume ; 

His  very  name  a  title-page  ;  and,  next. 

His  life  a  commentary  on  the  text. 

O  what  a  monument  of  glorious  worth. 

When,  in  a  new  edition,  he  comes  forth! 

Without  errata  may  we  think  he'll  be. 

In  leaves  and  covers  of  eternity ! 

Old  Joseph  Capen,  minister  of  Topsfield,  had  also,  in  168 1,  given  John 
Foster,  who  set  up  the  first  printing-press  in  Boston,  the  benefit  of  the  idea, 

in  7}iemoriam : 

Thy  body,  which  no  activeness  did  lack, 
Now's  laid  aside  like  an  old  almanac, 
But  for  the  present  only's  out  of  date  ; 
'Twill  have  at  length  a  far  more  active  state. 
Yea,  though  with  dust  thy  body  soiled  be. 
Yet  at  the  resurrection  we  shall  see 
A  fair  edition,  and  of  matchless  worth. 
Free  from  errata,  new  in  Heaven  set  forth; 
'Tis  but  a  word  from  God,  the  great  Creator — 
It  shall  be  done  when  he  saith  Imprimatur. 

Davis,  in  his  "  Travels  in  America,"  finds  another  source  in  a  Latin  epitaph 
on  the  London  bookseller  Jacob  Tonson,  published  with  an  English  translation 
in  the  Gentleman's  Magazine  for  February,  1736.     This  is  its  conclusion: 

When  Heaven  reviewed  th"  original  text, 

'Twas  with  err  at  as  few  perplexed  : 

Pleased  with  the  copy  'twas  collated. 

And  to  a  better  life  translated. 

But  let  to  life  this  supplement 

Be  printed  on  thy  nionutnent. 

Lest  ^e.  first  page  of  death  should  be, 

Great  editor,  a  blank  to  thee ; 


323 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 

And  thou  who  many  titles  gave 
Should  want  one  title  for  this  grave. 
Stay,  passenger,  and  drop  a  tear ; 
Here  lies  a  noted  Bookseller ; 
This  marble  index  here  is  placed 
To  tell,  that  when  he  found  defaced 
His  book  o/  life,  he  died  with  grief: 
Yet  he,  by  true  and  genuine  belief, 
A  new  edition  may  expect. 
Far  more  enlarged  and  more  correct. 

The  latest  imitation  in  the  field  is  this  : 

In  affectionate  remembrance  of 

HENRY  STEVENS, 

Lover  of  Books, 

Born  at  Barnet,  Vermont,  Aug.  24,  1819, 

The  volume  of  whose 

Earthly  labour  was  closed 

In  London,  February  28,  1886,  in  the 

Sixty-seventh  year  of  his  age. 

"  And  another  book  was  opened,  which  is  the  Book 

of  Life." 

Another  famous  epitaph  has  also  been  shown  to  be  a  plagiarism,  that  by 
Matthew  Prior  upon  himself: 

Painters  and  heralds,  by  your  leave. 

Here  lie  the  bones  of  Matthew  Prior, 
The  son  of  Adam  and  of  Eve : — 

Let  Bourbon  or  Nassau  go  higher  ! 

Prior  borrowed  his  lines  from  the  following  very  ancient  epitaph  upon  a  tomb- 
stone in  Scotland : 

John  Camagie  lies  here, 

Descended  from  Adam  and  Eve ; 

If  any  can  boast  of  a  pedigree  higher, 

He  will  willingly  give  them  leave. 

Here  is  one  of  the  most  remarkable  epitaphs  in  literature,  both  intrinsically 
for  its  strange  audacity,  and  on  account  of  its  wide  diffusion  and  its  ancient 
pedigree.  It  is  only  one  example  chosen  at  hap-hazard  from  a  thousand 
variants,  in  England,  in  Scotland,  in  the  United  States,  and  in  this  special 
instance  is  copied  from  a  church-yard  in  Aberdeen,  Scotland : 

Here  lies  I,  Martin  Elmrod ; 
Have  mercy  on  my  soul,  gude  God, 
As  I  would  have  gin  I  were  God, 
And  thou  wert  Martin  Elmrod. 

George  Macdonald  cites  this  epitaph  in  his  novel  "  David  Elginbrod,"  with 
slightly-varying  phraseology : 

Here  lie  I,  Martin  Elgmbrodde  ; 
Hae  mercy  o'  my  soul,  Lord  God, 
As  I  wad  do  were  I  Lord  God, 
And  ye  were  Martin  Elginbrodde. 

Now,  in  Howel's  Letters  is  found  the  following  quatrain,  the  versification  of 
a  passage  in  St.  Augustine  : 

If  I  were  Thou,  and  Thou  wert  I, 

I  would  resign  the  Deity, 

Thou  shouldst  be  God,  I  would  be  man — 

Is't  possible  that  Love  more  can  ? 

Even  yet,  however,  we  have  not  come  to  the  germ  of  the  phrase.  In  its 
origin  it  is  not  Western,  but  Eastern  ;  not  centuries,  but  aeons  old.  It  occurs 
over  and  over  again  in  the  Rig- Veda  and  other  sacred  books  of  the  Orient, 

—e.g. : 


324  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Wert  thou,  Agni,  a  mortal,  and  were  I  an  immortal  and  an  invoked  son  of  might,  I  would 
not  abandon  thee  to  malediction  or  miserj' ;  my  worshipper  should  not  be  poor,  nor  distressed, 
nor  wretched. — Rig-Veda,  viii.  19,  25. 

Were  I  thou,  Agni,  and  wert  thou  I,  this  aspiration  should  be  fulfilled. — Ibid. 

The  difficulty  of  tracing  an  epitaph  to  its  true  origin,  even  when  references 
are  given  by  the  authorities,  is  shown  by  the  following  story  told  by  a  writer  in 
the  English  Notes  and  Queries  : 

All  men  (i.e.,  a  great  many)  have  heard  of  Mrs.  Martha,  or  Margaret,  Gwynn,  celebrated  in 
an  epitaph  which  I  may  give  as  follows : 

Here  lie  the  bones  of  Martha  Gwynn, 
Who  was  so  very  pure  within. 
She  broke  the  outer  shell  of  sin. 
And  thence  was  hatched  a  Cberubin. 

Being  desirous  to  find  the  true  form  and  also  the  place  of  this  epitaph,  I  lately  searched  for 
and  found  it  in  three  published  collections,  each  of  which  gives  a  text  differing  from  the  other 
two.  For  the  place  of  it  one  collector,  Mr.  Augustus  Hare,  says  Cambridgeshire.  Had  he 
said  England  he  would  have  committed  himself  to  less,  and  the  reference  would  have  been 
about  equally  useful.  Another  more  definitely  assigns  it  to  St.  Albans,  Herts.  By  the  help 
of  a  friend  I  was  enabled  to  learn  with  something  like  certainty  that  it  is  not  to  be  found  there, 
though  my  friend  happily  suggested  that,  as  Nell  Gwynn  once  had  a  house  of  her  own  not  far 
off,  Martha  the  immaculate  and  naughty  Nelly  may  have  been  sisters.  But,  unhappily  for  her 
fame,  it  now  appears  that  Martha  Gwynn  either  never  had  any  existence  at  all,  or,  if  she 
lived  and  practised  all  the  virtues,  at  least  was  the  cause  of  sin  in  her  grave,  seeing  that  her 
epitaph  was,  in  Macaulay's  phrase,  stolen,  and  marred  in  the  stealing.  I  have  obtained  what 
I  suppose  must  be  accepted  as  the  original  and  veritable  matrix  from  which  Mrs.  Martha 
received  her  mythical  being.  It  is  an  epitaph  in  Toddington  Church,  Bedfordshire,  men- 
tioned and  partly  quoted  by  Lysons  ("  Magna  Britannia")  in  his  description  of  that  church. 
In  spite  of  conceits  and  affectation,  it  has  some  literary'  merit,  and  at  least  presents  something 
better  and  closer  in  thought  than  the  flabby  and  pointless  saying,  "  She  was  so  very  pure 
within."     Here  it  is  in  full : 

Maria  Wentworth,  illustris  Thoma  Comitis  Cleveland  Filia  premortua  prima  animam 
virgineam  exhalavit  [ — ]  Januar.  an"  Dni.  MDCXXXH.,  aetat.  xviii. 

And  here  y«  pretious  dust  is  layde 
Whose  purelie  temper'd  clay  was  made 
So  fine  that  it  y«  guest  betray'd. 
Else  the  soule  grew  so  faste  within. 
It  broke  y«  outwarde  shelle  of  sin. 
And  soe  was  hatch'd  a  Cherubin. 
In  height  it  soar'd  to  God  above. 
In  depth  it  did  to  knowledge  move. 
And  spread  in  breadth  to  generalle  love. 
Before  a  pious  duty  shind, 
To  Parents  curtesie  behind, 
On  either  side  an  equal  minde. 
Good  to  ye  poore,  to  kindred  deare. 
To  servants  kinde,  to  friendship  cleare. 
To  nothing  but  herself  severe. 
See  though  a  Virgin  yet  a  Bride 
To  everie  grace,  she  justified 
A  chaste  Poligamie,  and  dyed. 

A  variant  is  found  in  Chiswick  church-yard,  close  to  Hogarth's  grave  : 

Here  lyes  ye  clay 
Which  th'  other  day 
Inclosed  Sam.  SauiU's  soul. 
But  now  is  free  and  unconfin'd. 
She  fled  and  left  her  clogg  behind 
Intomb'd  within  this  hole. 
May  ye  21,  1728, 
In  the  30th  year  of  his  age. 

And  this  in  its  turn  is  singularly  like  an  inscription  on  the  door  of  the  cell  in 
which  Ettore  Visconti  is  buried  in  a  standing  position  in  Monza ; 
This  skeleton  formerly  contained  the  soul  of 
Estore  [sic}  Visconti. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  335 

The  business-like  epitaphs  combining  puffs  with  pathos  deserve  a  place  by 
themselves.  A  famous  example  is  said  to  have  been  inscribed  by  a  son  to  his 
deceased  father  somewhere  in  Wiltshire,  England  : 

Beneath  this  stone,  in  hopes  of  Zion, 

Is  laid  the  landlord  of  the  Lion. 

Resigned  unto  the  Heavenly  will, 

His  son  keeps  on  the  business  still. 

An  equally  affecting  inscription  is  said  to  be  found  in  the  cemetery  of  Pere- 
la-Chaise  on  the  tombstone  of  one  Pierre  Cabochard,  a  grocer.  It  closes  as 
follows : 

His  inconsolable  widow 

dedicates  this  monument  to  his  memory, 

and  continues  the  same  business  at  the 

old  stand,  167  Rue  Mouffetard. 

In  the  year  1868  a  Parisian  newspaper  told  this  curious  story  anent  the 
monument  : 

A  gentleman  who  had  noticed  the  above  inscription  was  led  by  curiosity  to  call  at  the 
address  indicated.  Having  expressed  his  desire  to  see  the  widow  Cabochard,  he  was  imme- 
diately ushered  into  the  presence  of  a  fashionably-dressed  and  full-bearded  man,  who  asked 
what  was  the  object  of  his  visit. 

"  I  came  to  see  the  widow  Cabochard,  sir." 

"  Well,  sir,  here  she  is." 

"  I  beg  pardon,  but  I  wish  to  see  the  lady  in  person." 

"  Sir,  I  am  the  widow  Cabochard." 

"  I  don't  exactly  understand  you.  I  allude  to  the  relict  of  the  late  Pierre  Cabochard,  whose 
monument  I  noticed  yesterday  at  the  Pere-la-Chaise." 

"  I  see,  I  see,"  was  the  smiling  rejoinder.  "  Allow  me  to  inform  you  that  Pierre  Cabochard 
is  a  myth,  and  therefore  never  had  a  wife.  The  tomb  you  admired  cost  me  a  good  deal  of 
money,  and  although  no  one  is  buried  there,  it  proves  a  first-rate  advertisement,  and  I  have 
had  no  cause  to  regret  the  expense.     Now,  sir,  what  can  1  sell  you  in  the  way  of  groceries?" 

But  possibly  monument  and  story  were  both  "  faked"  by  this  esteemed  con- 
temporary. This  is  the  more  likely  that  the  monument  in  question  figures  in 
various  collections  of  epitaphs,  with  so  many  changes  of  name  and  venue  that 
one  is  inclined  to  look  upon  it  as  a  myth. 

The  following  probably  belong  to  the  same  category.  The  first  comes 
from  California ;  the  second  is  English,  and  is  said  to  be  in  memory  of  one 
Jonathan  Thompson  : 

Here  lies  the  body  of  Jeemes  Humbrick,  who  was  accidentally  shot  on  the  bank  of  the 
Pacus  River  by  a  young  man.  He  was  accidentally  shot  with  one  of  the  large  Colt's  revolvers 
with  no  stopper  for  the  cock  to  rest  on.  It  was  one  of  the  old-fashioned  kind, — brass-mounted. 
And  of  such  is  the  kingdom  of  heaven. 

A  good  Husband,  and  affectionate  Father  ; 

whose  disconsolate  Widow  and  Orphans 

continue  to  carry  on  the  Tripe  and  Trotter  business 

at  the  same  shop  as  before  their  bereavement. 

Lamb,  in  one  of  his  Letters,  says,  "  I  have  seen  in  Islington  church-yard  an 
epitaph  to  an  infant  who  died  atatis  four  months,  with  this  seasonable  inscrip- 
tion appended  :  '  Honour  thy  father  and  thy  mother,  that  thy  days  may  be 
long  in  the  land,'  etc."  But  this  is  not  so  bad  as  the  quotation  from  Shake- 
speare, "  She  never  told  her  love,"  placed  over  another  infant  of  about  the 
same  age. 

Unintentional  grotesques  of  this  sort  may  be  found  in  every  graveyard 
since  graveyards  were.  Now  and  then  when  we  hear  them  we  have  a 
suspicion  that  they  are  too  good  to  be  true,  but  he  who  has  any  experience  of 
monumental  stupidity  will  hesitate  to  put  limits  to  the  stupidity  it  may  display. 

There  are  de  par  le  monde  a  number  of  epitaphs  the   absurdity  of  which 
consists  in  the  substitution  of  a  wrong  name  for  the  deceased  person,  to 
accommodate  the  exigencies  of  the  poet.     One  of  them  runs  thus  : 
28 


326  HANDY-BOOK  OF 


and  another 


and  still  a  third 


Und«meath  this  ancient  pew 

Lie  the  remains  of  Jonathan  Blue. 

His  name  was  Black,  but  that  wouldn't  do  ; 

Underneath  this  stone,  aged  threescore  and  ten. 

Lie  the  remains  of  William  Wood-hen. 

{For  Hen,  read  Cock— Cock  wouldn't  come  in  rhyme)  ; 


Here  lies  John  Bunn, 

Who  was  killed  by,a  gun. 
His  name  wasn't  Bunn,  but  his  real  name  was  Wood. 
But  Wood  wouldn't  rhyme  with  Gunn,  so  I  thought  Bunn  would. 

We  confess  we  are  sceptical  about  the  authenticity  of  these  various  readings, 
as  also  of  the  epitaph  on  the  architect  Trollope  : 

Here  lies  William  Trollope, 
Who  made  these  stones  roll  up  ; 
When  death  took  his  soul  up. 
His  body  filled  this  hole  up. 

No  doubts,  however,  attach  to  the  sweet  agricultural  simplicity  which 
breathes  through  the  following  : 

Here  I  lies,  and  no  wonder  I'm  dead, 

For  the  wheel  of  a  wagon  went  over  my  head. 

A  facetious  story  is  told  in  some  quarters  of  a  pauper  who,  having  died  in 
a  workhouse,  was  to  be  buried  in  the  most  economical  fashion.  The  master 
proposed  to  inscribe  over  his  tombstone, — 

Thomas  Thorps, 

His  corpse. 

The  guardians  at  the  next  meeting  of  the  board  indignantly  forbade  such  a 
profligate  expenditure  of  the  rates,  and  ordered  the  epitaph  to  be  curtailed 

thus : 

Thorps' 
Corpse. 

Grammar  gives  way  in  the  following  to  high  poetical  and  moral  consider- 
ations : 

She's  gone  and  cannot  come  to  we. 
But  we  shall  shortly  go  to  she. 

In  the  church-yard  of  St.  John,  Worcester,  there  is  an  epitaph  which,  if 
brevity  be  the  soul  of  wit,  has  high  claim  to  that  character.  The  arrange- 
ment of  the  verb  is,  at  all  events,  original.     It  reads  thus : 

Honest  John 
's  dead  and  gone. 
Here  are  some  miscellaneous  grotesques  : 

In  Childwall  Parish,  England. 

Here  lies  me  and  my  three  daughters. 
Brought  here  by  using  Cheltenham  waters. 
If  we  had  stuck  to  Epsom  salts 
We  wouldn't  be  in  these  here  vaults. 

From  a  New  Hampshire  Church- Yard. 

To  all  my  friends  I  bid  adieu, 
A  more  sudden  death  you  never  knew. 
As  I  was  leading  the  old  mare  to  drink. 
She  kicked,  and  killed  me  quicker'n  a  wink. 

On  an  East  Tennessee  Lady. 

She  lived  a  life  of  virtue,  and  died  of  the  cholera  morbus,  caused  by  eating  green  fruit  in 
hope  of  a  blessed  immortality,  at  the  early  age  of  21  years,  7  months,  and  16  days.  Reader, 
"  Go  thou  and  do  likewise." 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  337 

From  Thetford  Church-Yard, 

My  grandfather  was  buried  here. 

My  cousin  Jane,  and  two  uncles  dear 

My  father  perished  with  inflammation  in  the  thighs, 

And  my  sister  dropped  down  dead  in  the  Minories; 

But  the  reason  why  I'm  here  interred,  according  to  my  thinking 

Is  owing  to  my  good  living  and  hard  drinking.  ' 

If,  therefore,  good  Christians,  you  wish  to  live  long. 

Don't  drink  too  much  wine,  brandy,  gin,  or  anything  strong. 

At  Augusta,  Maine. 

— After  Life's  Scarlet  Fever 
I  sleep  well. 

From  Cornwall,  England. 

Here  lies  the  body  of  Gabriel  John, 
Who  died  in  the  year  one  thousand  and  one ; 
Pray  for  the  soul  of  Gabriel  John, 
You  may,  if  you  please,  or  let  it  alone. 

For  it's  all  one 

To  Gabriel  John, 
Who  died  in  the  year  one  thousand  and  one. 

From  Portbury  Church- Yard,  near  Bristol. 

My  forge  and  anvil  are  reclined, 
My  bellows  they  have  lost  their  wind. 
My  shop  and  hammer  are  decayed. 
And  in  the  dust  my  vice  is  laid. 
My  fire's  extinct, 

My  coal  is  gone. 

My  nails  are  drove. 

My  work  is  done. 

Bulls  are  not  at  all  infrequent  on  tombstones.  Here  is  one  that  reappears 
in  so  many  different  ways  that  one  cannot  help  suspecting  some  at  least  to  be 
manufactured.  This  particular  instance  is  credited  to  a  graveyard  in  Oswego, 
New  York : 

Here  lies  my  two  children  dear. 

One  in  Ireland,  and  the  other  here. 

Here  are  a  few,  a  very  few,  of  its  many  variants.     The  first,  which  is  un- 
doubtedly genuine,  may  be  the  parent  of  all  the  others  : 
At  Belturbet,  Ireland. 

Here  lies  John  Higley,  whose  father  and  mother  were 

drowned  in  their  passage  from  America. 
Had  they  both  lived,  they  would  have  been  buried  here. 

Unidentified. 

Here  lies  the  body  of  John  Mound, 
Lost  at  sea  and  never  found. 

At  Llanymynech,  Montgomeryshire. 

Here  lies  John  Thomas 

And  his  children  dear  ; 
Two  buried  at  Oswestry, 

And  one  here. 

In  Oxfordshire. 

Here  lies  the  body  of  John  Eldred, 
At  least  he  will  be  here  when  he  is  dead ; 
But  now  at  this  time  he  is  alive. 
The  14th  of  August,  'sixty-five. 

The  following  look  Irish,  but,  like  those  just  quoted,  are  of  Saxon  origin  : 

Ah,  cruel  Death  !  why  so  unkind. 

To  take  her,  and  leave  me  behind  ? 

Better  to  have  taken  both  or  neither, 

It  -would  have  been  more  kind  to  the  survivor  I 


328  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

At  St.  Andrew's,  Plymouth. 

Here  lies  the  body  of  James  Vernon,  Esq.,  only  surviving  son  of  Admiral  Vernon :  died 
23d  July,  1753. 

At  Montrose,  1757. 

Here  lyes  the  Bodeys  of  George  Young  and  Isabel  Guthrie,  and  all  their  Posterity  for  more 
than  fifty  years  backwards. 

Occasionally  it  has  happened  that  prizes  have  been  offered  for  epitaphs  to 
be  written  to  order.  They  have  never  been  known  to  yield  any  satisfactory 
results.  A  German  paper  once  canvassed  in  this  way  for  an  appropriate  in- 
scription to  Bismarck.  But  all  the  essays  sent  in  were  rejected.  A  com- 
petition of  the  same  sort,  having  General  Wolfe  as  its  subject,  is  remem- 
bered to-day  only  because,  among  others,  it  brought  out  this  astonishing 
quatrain  : 

He  marched  without  dread  or  fears 
At  the  head  of  his  bold  grenadiers. 
And  what  was  remarkable — nay,  very  particular — 
He  climbed  up  rocks  that  were  perpendicular. 
The  eccentric  Sternhold  Oakes  offered  a  reward  for  the  best  epitaph  for  his 
own  grave.     Several  tried  for  the  prize,  but  they  flattered  him  too  much,  he 
thought.     At  last  he  undertook  it  himself;  and  the  following  was  the  result : 
Here  lies  the  body  of  Sternhold  Oakes, 
Who  lived  and  died  like  other  folks. 

That  was  satisfactory,  and  the  old  gentleman  claimed  and  received  his  own 
prize. 

The  following  was  composed  by  three  Scotch  friends,  to  whom  the  person 
commemorated  had  left  a  legacy,  with  the  hope  expressed  that  they  would 
honor  him  by  some  record  of  their  regrets.  The  first  friend  composed  the 
line  which  naturally  opened  the  epitaph, — 

Provost  Peter  Patterson  was  Provost  of  Dundee. 
The  second  added, — 

Provost  Peter  Patterson,  here  lies  he. 
The  third  could  suggest  no  other  conclusion  than, — 
Hallelujah !  Hallelujee  ! 
Intentional   drolleries  frequently  take  the  forms  of  puns.      Among   these 
should  rank  the  epitaph  on  Mr.  Foote,  of  Norwich : 

Here  lies  one  Foote,  whose  death  may  thousands  save. 
For  Death  hath  now  one  foot  within  the  grave  ; 

and  the  one  on  Mr.  Box  : 

Here  lies  one  Box  within  another. 
Ihe  one  of  wood  was  very  good. 
We  cannot  say  so  much  for  t'other ; 

also  the  famous  one  of  Sir  John  Strange  : 

Here  lies  an  honest  lawyer. 
That  is  Strange ! 

A  "  happy  conceit"  it  was  doubtless  thought,  in  1640,  to  write  over  a  member 
of  Parliament  named  White, — 

Here  lies  a  John,  a  burning,  shining  light. 
Whose  name,  life,  actions,  all  alike  were  White  1 
The  following  is  by  Swift  on  the  Earl  of  Kildare  : 

Who  killed  Kildare  ?     Who  dared  Kildare  to  kill  ? 
Death  killed  Kildare — who  dare  kill  whom  he  will. 

Here  are  a  few  miscellaneous  examples,  the  first  on  a  Mr.  Fish : 
Worms  are  bait  for  fish ;  but  here's  a  sudden  change : 
Fish  is  bait  for  worms — is  not  that  passing  strange  ? 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  329 

On  William  Button,  in  a  church-yard  near  Sanbury  : 
O  sun,  moon,  stars,  and  ye  celestial  poles  I 
Are  graves,  then,  dwindled  into  Button-holes? 

On  Foote,  the  comedian  : 

Foote  from  his  earthly  stage,  alas  !  is  hurled  ; 
Death  took  him  off,  who  took  off  all  the  world. 

Teague  O'Brien's  epitaph  on  himself  in  Ballyporeen  church-yard  has  a  rol- 
licking sort  of  humor : 

Here  I  at  length  repose. 

My  spirit  now  at  aise  is. 
With  the  tips  of  my  toes 
And  the  point  of  my  nose 

Turned  up  at  the  roots  of  the  daisies. 

The  following,  "  On  a  woman  who  had  an  issue  in  her  leg,"  is  amusing, 
though  probably  apocryphal  : 

Here  lieth  Margaret,  otherwise  Meg, 

Who  died  without  issue,  save  in  her  leg. 

Strange  woman  was  she  and  exceedingly  cunning, 

For  while  one  leg  stood  still,  the  other  was  running. 

This  pleasing  tribute  to  departed  worth  is  credited  to  a  South  Carolina 
graveyard : 

Here  lies  the  body  of  Robert  Gordin, 

Mouth  almighty  and  teeth  accordin'  ; 

Stranger,  tread  lightly  over  this  wonder. 

If  he  opens  his  mouth,  you  are  gone,  by  thunder ! 

Another  grossly  personal  attack  is  English  : 

Reader  !  whoe'er  thou  be,  oh,  tread  not  hard, 
For  Tadlow  lies  all  over  this  church  yard. 

The  allusion,  of  course,  is  to  the  dead  man's  unusual  obesity.  The  following, 
which  has  a  curious  verbal  analogy,  must  be  taken  in  a  totally  different  sense, 
as  a  fling  at  a  noble  profession  : 

Here  lies  the  corp'^e  of  Dr.  Chard, 
Who  filled  the  half  of  this  church-yard. 

Here  is  a  still  more  unpardonable  attack  on  a  lady,  possibly  of  those  loqua- 
cious tendencies  too  often  harshly  attributed  to  her  sex : 
Here  rests  in  silent  clay 
Miss  Arabella  Young, 
Who  on  the  21st  of  May 
Began  to  hold  her  tongue. 

F  This  is  as  bad  as  the  unkind  hint  conveyed  in  the  following,  in  a  church- 
yard near  Newmarket : 

Here  lies  the  body  of  Sarah  Sexton, 

Who  never  did  aught  to  vex  one. 

Not  like  the  woman  under  the  next  stone. 


A  special  malignity  is  attributable  to  the  last  line  by  the  explanation  that 
the  lady  under  the  next  stone  was  the  first  wife  of  Thomas  Sexton,  and  Sarah 
was  his  second. 

The  following  attacks  the  reputation  of  a  whole  parish.  It  is  in  St.  George's 
church-yard,  Somerset : 

Here  lies  poor  Charlotte, 
Who  died  no  harlot. 
But  in  her  virginity. 

Though  just  turned  nineteen, 

' in  this 

be  foi 

28* 


330  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Domestic  troubles  have  been  laid  bare  on  the  tombstone  from  the  time  of 
the  Greeks  and  Romans.  Here  is  a  piece  of  atrocious  doggerel  to  be  seen  in 
Selby  church-yard,  in  Yorkshire  : 

Here  lies  my  wife,  a  sad  slattern  and  a  shrew , 
If  I  said  I  regretted  her  I  should  lie  too. 

The  following,  which  frequently  appear  in  collections  of  epitaphs,  are  not 
credited  to  any  locality,  and  may  be  mere  wandering  bits  of  epigrammatic 
misogynism : 

This  dear  little  spot  is  the  joy  of  my  life : 
It  raises  my  flowers  and  covers  ray  wife. 

I  am  not  grieved,  my  dearest  life. 
Sleep  on — I've  got  another  wife  ; 
Therefore  I  cannot  come  to  thee. 
For  I  must  go  and  live  with  she. 

My  wife's  dead,  and  here  she  lies, 
No  man  laughs,  and  no  man  cries ; 
Where  she's  gone,  or  how  she  fares. 
Nobody  knows,  and  nobody  cares. 

Here  lies  my  poor  wife,  without  bed  or  blanket,        1 
But  dead  as  a  door-nail,  and  God  be  thankit.  1 

In  the  following  the  tables  are  turned  : 

Here  lies  the  body  of  Mary  Ford, 
Whose  soul,  we  trust,  is  with  the  Lord  ; 
But  if  for  hell  she's  changed  this  life, 
'Tis  better  than  being  John  Ford's  wife. 

Is  the  satire  in  the  following  examples  intentional  ? 

Maria  Brown,  wife  of  Timothy  Brown,  aged  eighty  years.  She  lived  with  her  husband 
fifty  years,  and  died  in  the  confident  hope  of  a  better  life. 

Here  lies  Bernard  Lightfoot,  who  was  accidentally  killed  in  the  forty-fifth  year  of  his  age. 
This  monument  was  erected  by  his  grateful  family. 

She  once  was  mine ; 
But  now 
To  Thee,  O  Lord,  I  her  resign ; 
And  am  your  humble,  obedient  servant, 

Robert  Kemp. 

The  following  mark  of  esteem  is  as  terse  as  it  is  ambiguous.  It  is  found 
in  a  church-yard  in  Grafton,  Vermont : 


GONE  HOMB. 


And  with  this  may  be  paired  the  awful  statement  on  a  tombstone  in  Otsego 
County,  New  York : 

John  biu-ns. 

To  conclude :  In  many  portions  of  England  people  whose  relatives  were 
too  poor  to  purchase  monumental  space  within  the  church  itself  were  fre- 
quently buried  outside  the  door.  The  following  epitaph  was  a  favorite  with 
this  class  of  corpses  : 

Here  I  lie  at  the  church  door. 
Here  1  lie  because  I  am  poor  ; 
When  I  rise  at  the  Judgment  Day, 
I  shall  be  as  warm  as  they. 

A  village  wag,  so  the  story  runs,  detected  the  latent  ambiguity  in  this  epitaph, 
and  wrote  beneath, — 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  33 1 

From  a  Spirit  Within. 

'Tis  true,  old  sinner,  there  you  lie, 
'Tis  true  you'll  be  as  warm  as  I ; 
But,  restless  spirit,  why  foretell 
That  when  you  rise  you  11  go  to  H — ? 

An  analogous  story  is  that  of  the  gravestone  bearing  the  simple  inscription, — 

My  little  Johnny  has  gone  to  heaven  ; 

which  one  morning  was  found  tagged  with  the  irreverent  addition, — 

You  cannot  always  sometimes  tell  : 

Your  little  Johnny  may  have  gone  to  H — . 

Era  of  Good  Feeling,  a  phrase  which  originated  with  Benjamin  Russell, 
editor  of  the  Boston  Centinel,  on  the  occasion  of  President  James  Monroe's 
visit  to  Boston  in  1817,  the  first  year  of  his  administration.  It  was  caught 
up  by  the  press  generally,  and  has  passed  into  history  as  characterizing  the 
entire  epoch  of  eight  years  during  which  Monroe  was  chief  magistrate.  But 
the  good  feeling  was  rather  apparent  than  real.  The  animosities  and  excite- 
ments of  the  war  of  1812  had  now  subsided,  and  the  internal  dissensions  in 
the  then  Republican  party,  which  eventually  culminated  in  the  split  between 
Jacksonites  and  Adamsites,  had  not  as  yet  disturbed  the  surface  of  the  political 
maelstrom. 

Erin  go  Bragh  ("  Erin  forever"),  the  ancient  war-cry  of  the  Irish. 

War-cries,  meant  originally  to  keep  the  fighting-men  aware  of  the  place  of  their  own  clan  in 
battle  or  when  scattered  in  woods  and  hills,  came  down  to  the  baronial  period,  and  were  used 
by  the  Anglo-Norman  nobles  out  of  consideration  for  their  Gaelic  retainers.  The  commonest 
shout  was  some  name  of  famous  place  or  famous  man  with  the  addition  "aboo,"  a  word  well 
fitted  for  the  clamor  of  a  band  of  fighters,  being  at  once  more  musical  and  less  wearying  to 
the  voice  than  our  "  hurrah."  The  Kildare  retainers  cried,  "  Crom  aboo  !"  in  honor  of  Crom 
Castle,  a  citadel  in  Limerick  County,  originally  a  stronghold  of  the  O' Donovans,  which  one 
of  the  intrusive  Geraldine  families,  named  after  the  town  of  Kildare,  occupied  while  turning 
Irish.  The  O'Neills  cried  out,  "  Lawv  dareg  aboo  !"  because  the  Lawv  dareg,  or  Red  Hand, 
was  the  badge  of  the  family  and  clan.  The  O'Briens  cried.  "  Lawv  Laider  !"  or  "  Laudir 
aboo !"  or  "  Strong  Hand  aboo !"  The  translator  of  Geoffrey  Keating's  "  History  of  Ire- 
land" suggests  as  the  meaning  of  "  aboo"  the  Irish  word  "  booa,"  victory  ;  but  analogy  would 
point  rather  to  "  boa"  ("  beotha"),  lively,  awake,  spirited,  when  "  aboo"  would  be  an  ex- 
clamation like  the  French  alerte  !  and  vive  !  A  parallel  in  Irish  is  the  well-known  "  Erin  go 
bra  !"  ("  Erin  till  judgment  day  !")  where  "  go  bra" — forever — implies  the  same  idea  of  living 
which  the  word  "  beotha"  actually  contains,  since  the  latter  is  the  Celtic  equivalent  of  Greek 
bios.  "  Yabu  !"  is  the  exclamation  of  Tartar  horsemen  when  urging  their  steeds  forward. 
While  on  this  topic  it  may  be  interesting  to  note  that  this  Irish  word,  or  its  Welsh  equivalent, 
"yu  byw,"  corrupted  to  "boo"  and  "  boh,"  is  found  in  our  colloquial  expression,  "He 
doesn't  dare  say  boo  to  a  goose  :"  in  other  words,  he  is  too  cowardly  to  sound  his  war-cry  in 
the  presence  of  the  most  peaceful  of  creatures.— Charles  de  Kay,  zn  the  Century. 

What  is  the  object  of  all  government  ?  The  object  of  all  government  is  roast  mutton,  pota- 
toes, claret,  a  stout  constable,  an  honest  justice,  a  clear  highway,  a  free  chapel.  What  trash 
to  be  bawling  in  the  streets  about  the  Green  Isle,  the  Isle  of  the  Ocean,  the  bold  anthem  of 
Erin  go  Bragh  !  A  far  better  anthem  would  be  Erin  go  bread  and  cheese,  Erin  go  cabins  that 
■will  keep  out  the  rain,  Erin  go  pantaloons  without  holes  in  them  ! — Sydney  Smith. 

Eripuit  ccelo  fulmen,  sceptrumque  tyrannis  (L.,  •'  He  snatched  the 
lightning  from  heaven  and  their  sceptre  from  tyrants"),  the  epigraph  written 
by  Turgot  for  Houdon's  bust  of  Franklin.     It  may  be  an  alteration  from  the 
line  out  of  the  "  Anti-Lucretius"  of  Cardinal  de  Polignac,  i.  v.  96, — 
Eripuit  fulmenque  Jovi  Phoeboque  sagittas, — 

or  may  have  been  suggested  by  the  "  Astronomica"  of  Manilius,  a  Latin  poet 
contemporary  with  Virgil, — 

Eripuit  Jovi  fulmen  viresque  tonandi, — 
or  it  may,  as  is  more  likely,  have  been  original,  and  suggested  only  by  the 
discovery  of  Franklin  and  the  historic  facts  of  his  life.     This  is  all  the  more 


332  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

probable  since  Condorcet,  the  biographer  of  Turgot,  informs  us  that  the  lines 
as  first  written  (in  1778)  read,  "  Eripuit  coelo  fulmen,  viox  sceptra  tyrannis." 
At  this  time,  the  snatching  of  the  sceptre  from  tlie  tyrant  was  a  thing  to  be 
wished  for,  probably,  and  prophesied,  but  was  not  yet  an  accomplished  fact. 
The  authorship  of  the  epigraph  has  been  claimed  for  Baron  Trenck  by  a 
writer  in  Gartenlanbe  for  1863,  in  a  paper  on  the  last  hours  of  that  states- 
man. He  states  that  the  baron  asserted  at  his  trial  before  the  Revolution- 
ary Tribunal  of  Paris,  July  9,  1794,  that  he  made  Franklin's  acquaintance  in 
England  in  1774,  and  that  the  lines  usually  attributed  to  Turgot  were  in  fact 
his.     Baron  Trenck,  however,  says  nothing  of  this  in  his  memoirs. 

The  verse  was  translated  into  French  ("  II  ote  au  ciel  le  foudre  et  le  sceptre 
aux  tyrans")  by  a  poor  creature  named  Felix  Nogaret,  an  almanac-poet,  who 
sent  it  to  Franklin  with  much  adulatory  commentary,  asking  his  opinion  of  the 
translation.  In  his  reply,  which  may  be  found  in  Fournier's  "  L'Esprit  des 
Autres,"  Franklin  claimed  to  be  too  little  of  a  connoisseur  of  the  subtleties 
of  the  French  tongue  to  sit  in  judgment  on  the  "  poesie  qui  doit  se  trouver 
dans  ce  vers"  (a  very  subtle  phrase,  which  might  be  interpreted  either  as  "the 
poetry  which  is  to  be"  or  as  "  the  poetry  which  ought  to  be  found  in  this 
verse").  However,  as  to  the  original  Latin,  he  wished  to  call  attention  to  two 
inaccuracies : 

Notwithstanding  my  experiments  with  electricity,  the  thunder-bolt  continues  to  fall  under 
our  noses  and  beards  ;  and  as  for  the  tyrant,  there  are  a  million  of  us  still  engaged  at  snatching 
away  his  sceptre. 

When  the  death  of  Franklin  was  announced  in  the  French  National 
Assembly,  Mirabeau,  in  moving  that  the  Assembly  go  into  mourning  out 
of  respect  for  his  memory,  spoke  of  him  as  a  benefactor  of  the  human  race. 
He  declared, — 

Antiquity  would  have  raised  altars  to  this  mighty  genius,  who,  to  the  advantage  of  man- 
kind, compassing  in  his  mind  the  heavens  and  the  earth,  was  able  to  restrain  alike  thunder- 
bolts and  tyrants. 

A  humorous  play  upon  the  words  of  the  inscription  is  contained  in  the  fol- 
lowing : 

We  know  what  a  flogging  is,  but  what  love  is,  no  one  has  found  out.  Some  natural  philos- 
ophers have  maintained  that  it  is  a  kind  of  electricity.  That  is  possible,  for  at  the  moment  of 
falling  in  love  we  feel  as  if  an  electrical  spark  had  suddenly  penetrated  our  heart  from  the  eye 
of  the  beloved  one.  Ah  !  this  lightning  is  the  most  destructive  of  all,  and  I  shall  esteem  him 
who  can  find  a  conductor  for  it  higher  than  FrankUn.  Oh  that  there  might  be  little  lightning- 
rods  which  would  conduct  the  dreadful  fire  elsewhere.  I  fear,  however,  that  little  Amor 
cannot  be  as  easily  robbed  of  his  arrows  as  Jupiter  of  his  lightning  or  the  tyrants  of  their 
sceptre. — Heine  :  Reisebilder  :  Die  Bdder  von  Lucca.. 

Erotic  School,  a  name  applied  (circa  188S)  by  American  newspaper 
critics  to  a  group  of  writers  who  consciously  or  unconsciously  rebelled  against 
the  rigid  conventionalities  established  by  the  Mrs.  Grundys  of  literature. 
Such  rebellion  had  been  in  the  air  long  before  their  advent ;  indeed,  in  Eng- 
land it  had  already  taken  formal  shape  in  the  poems  and  novels  of  the  Fleshly 
School  {q.  V.)  and  its  successors.  That  school  was  a  practical  indorsement 
of  the  protest  made  by  Thackeray,  and  after  him  by  Henry  James,  by  Ouida, 
and  by  others,  that  art  was  foolishly  fettered  and  limited  through  too  eager 
deference  to  the  assumed  ingenuous  ignorance  of  the  Young  Person.  "  Since 
the  author  of  Tom  Jones  was  buried,"  such  are  Thackeray's  words,  "no  writer 
of  fiction  among  us  has  been  permitted  to  depict  to  his  utmost  power  a  Man. 
We  must  drape  him  and  give  him  a  certain  conventional  simper.  Society  will 
not  tolerate  the  Natural  in  our  art."  Perhaps  in  seeking  for  the  Natural,  the 
Fleshly  School  went  too  far.  Perhaps  Walt  Whitman,  the  first  American 
exponent  of  the  theory,  went  too  far.  It  is  part  of  the  folly  of  the  untruth 
which  lies  in  suppression,  that  it  provokes  the  untruth  of  overstatement,  that 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  333 

hypocrisy  may  beget  open  shamelessness.  But  the  Erotic  School  in  America, 
save  among  certain  vulgar  and  now  forgotten  mercenaries  who  followed  the 
lead  of  the  leaders  when  they  fancied  it  gave  them  a  chance  for  booty  and 
notoriety, — the  Erotic  School  in  America  never  imitated  the  fiercer  vagaries 
of  the  English  School.  They  only  claimed  the  privilege  of  art  to  paint  life  as 
they  saw  it.  Amelie  Rives,  Edgar  Saltus,  Gertrude  Atherton,  and,  on  a  lower 
level,  Ella  Wheeler  Wilcox,  all  of  whom  have  been  roughly  grouped  together 
under  the  convenient  heading,  are  persons  of  sincere  aim.  With  varying 
degrees  of  genius  or  talent,  they  jhave  established  a  precedent  which  must 
eventually  be  accepted. 

Errors,  like  straws,  upon  the  surface  flow.  From  the  Prologue  to 
Dryden's  "  All  for  Love  :" 

Errors,  like  straws,  upon  the  surface  flow  : 

He  who  would  search  for  pearls  must  dive  below. 

The  figure  had  previously  been  used  by  Bacon.  In  enumerating  the  errors 
which  have  retarded  the  advancement  of  learning,  Bacon  says, — 

Another  error  is  a  conceit  that  .  .  .  the  best  has  still  prevailed  and  suppressed  the  rest : 
so  as,  if  a  man  should  begin  the  labor  of  a  new  search,  he  were  but  like  to  light  upon  some- 
what formerly  rejected,  and  by  rejection  brought  into  oblivion;  as  if  the  multitude,  or  the 
wisest  for  the  multitude's  sake,  were  not  ready  to  give  passage  rather  to  that  which  is  popu- 
lar and  superficial,  than  to  that  which  is  substantial  and  profound  :  for  the  truth  is,  that  time 
seemeth  to  be  of  the  nature  of  a  river  or  stream,  which  carrieth  down  to  us  that  which  is  light 
and  blown  up,  and  sinketh  and  drowneth  that  which  is  weighty  and  so\\A..— Advancement  of 
learning.  Book  I. 

An  amusing  variant  of  the  idea  is  the  jest  of  Home  Tooke.  To  his  brother, 
who  had  been  more  prosperous  than  himself,  John  Home  Tooke  remarked 
that  they  had  reversed  the  natural  order  of  things,  for  ''■you  have  risen  by  your 
gravity :  I  have  sunk  by  my  levity." 

Though  some  make  light  of  libels,  yet  you  may  see  by  them  how  the  wind  sits ;  as  take  a 
straw,  and  throw  it  up  into  the  air,  you  shall  see  by  that  which  way  the  wind  is,  which  you 
shall  not  do  by  casting  up  a  stone.  More  solid  things  do  not  show  the  complexion  of  the  time 
so  well  as  ballads  and  libels. — Selden  :    Table  -Talk  :  Libels. 

In  the  shipwreck  of  the  state,  trifles  float  and  are  preserved,  while  everything  solid  and 
valuable  sinks  to  the  bottom,  and  is  lost  forever. — Letters  o/Jutiius. 

Errors,  Vulgar.  One  of  the  most  delightful  books  ever  written  is  that 
which  its  author  styled  "  Pseudoxia  Epidemica,"  but  which  is  more  usually 
known  as  "  Browne's  Vulgar  Errors," — a  rather  misleading  title,  as  the  errors 
which  it  treats  of  are  the  public's,  and  not  Sir  Thomas  Browne's.  The  good 
knight,  who  was  still  sufficiently  conservative  to  believe  in  witches,  goes  seri- 
ously to  work  to  deny  the  existence  of  the  phoenix,  the  chimera,  and  the  griffin, 
and  to  expose  such  fallacies  as  that  man  has  one  less  rib  than  woman  ;  that 
Mahomet's  tomb  is  suspended  in  air  between  loadstones  artfully  contrived 
above  and  below  ;  that  storks  will  only  live  in  republics  and  free  states ;  that 
a  salamander  lives  in  the  fire  ;  that  children  would  naturally  speak  Hebrew  ; 
that  men  weigh  more  before  meat  than  after,  and  dead  than  alive ;  that  Friar 
Bacon  made  a  brazen  head  which  spoke ;  that  Hannibal  ate  through  the  Alps 
with  vinegar  ;  that  crystal  is  ice  strongly  congealed.  Some  of  these  errors 
seem  vulgar  enough  in  all  conscience,  yet  mighty  names  in  science  and  the- 
ology had  once  upheld  them.  Seneca,  for  example,  Thucydides,  St.  Basil,  St. 
Augustine,  St.  Gregory,  and  St.  Jerome  are  all  advocates  for  the  ice-theory  of 
crystals,  though  it  is  only  fair  to  add  that  Pliny  and  others  denied  it. 

Once  upon  a  time  a  professor  of  electricity,  we  are  told,  was  demonstrating 
before  an  audience  and  failed  to  produce  the  expected  result.  "  Ladies  and 
gentlemen,"  he  thereupon  remarked,  "every  experiment,  if  properly  made, 
proves  something;  if  it  doesn't  prove  what  you  intended,  it  proves  the  oppo- 


334  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

site."  This  great  truth,  obvious  as  it  seems,  is,  after  all,  of  very  recent  dis- 
covery. It  is  astonishing  how  readily  the  philosophers  of  old  accepted  state- 
ments which  might  at  once  have  been  proved  or  disproved  by  the  test  of 
experiment. 

Thus,  Aristotle  took  it  for  granted  that  a  pot  full  of  ashes  will  contain  as 
much  water  as  it  would  without  them,  and  nobody  seems  to  have  questioned 
the  statement  until  Sir  Thomas  Browne  seriously  made  repeated  tests  which 
proved  it  to  be  untrue.  The  reader  will  doubtless  remember,  in  this  connec- 
tion, the  old  story  told  sometimes  of  James  I.  and  sometimes  of  other  mon- 
archs,  that  he  called  together  a  council  of  philosophers  to  discuss  the  question, 
"  Why  is  it  that  a  vase  will  contain  as  much  water  if  a  herring  be  placed 
therein  as  it  would  without  the  herring .?"  and  after  the  learned  men  had  given 
sundry  ingenious  answers  to  the  query,  he  bade  them  try  if  indeed  it  were  so, 
and,  lo  !  a  herring  placed  in  a  vase  full  of  water  made  it  overflow. 

Pliny  asserted  that  the  diamond  will  prevent  the  attraction  of  the  loadstone 
if  placed  between  it  and  a  piece  of  iron  ;  and  although  the  problem  was  one 
capable  of  ready  solution  by  experiment,  he  went  on  to  ascribe  the  same 
quality  to  the  garlic.  The  loadstone,  indeed,  attracted  towards  itself  the 
most  preposterous  fables,  which  it  was  left  for  Sir  Thomas  Browne  to  expose. 
Thus,  it  was  asserted  that  when  burnt  it  gives  off  an  intolerable  stench  ;  that 
if  preserved  in  certain  salts  it  has  the  power  of  attracting  gold,  even  out  of 
the  deepest  wells  ;  that  some  kinds  of  loadstone  attract  only  by  night ;  that 
one  ounce  of  iron  and  ten  ounces  of  loadstone  produce  a  total  weight  of  only 
ten  ounces.  A  learned  Jesuit  named  Eusebius  Nierembergius  believed  that 
the  body  of  man  is  magnetical,  and  if  placed  in  a  boat  "  the  vessel  will  never 
rest  until  the  head  respecteth  the  north."  Sir  Thomas  warily  characterizes 
this  theory  as  "  improbable  and  something  singular,"  and  suggests  that  "  the 
verity  hereof  might  easily  be  tried  in  Wales,  where  there  are  portable  boats, 
and  made  of  leather,  which  would  convert  upon  the  impulsion  of  any  ver- 
ticity." 

But,  after  all,  the  errors  of  the  early  philosophers  were  too  firmly  intrenched 
to  yield  before  the  evidence  of  experiment.  For  when  Camerarius,  to  disprove 
the  common  assertion  that  a  lion  was  afraid  of  a  cock,  cited  the  case  of  one 
■which  sprang  into  a  farm-yard  and  devoured  all  the  poultry,  he  was  silenced 
by  Alexander  Ross's  assertion  that  that  lion  was  mad. 

Nor  can  it  be  said  that  all  the  errors  which  Sir  Thomas  combated  are  dead 
even  now.  We  still  hear,  not  indeed  from  philosophers,  but  from  people  of 
fair  intelligence,  that  the  chameleon  feeds  upon  air  ;  that  a  bear  licks  her  cubs 
into  shape ;  that  swans  sing  just  before  their  death  ;  that  a  pigeon  has  no 
gall.  It  is  no  longer  asserted  that  the  ostrich  can  digest  iron  ;  nevertheless 
astonishing  and  quite  as  baseless  stories  are  still  told  concerning  its  assimi- 
lative powers,  and  not  every  one  has  learned  the  falsity  of  the  fable  that  a 
hunted  ostrich  will  try  to  hide  itself  by  sticking  its  head  into  the  sand.  And, 
indeed,  why  should  we  outsiders  discredit  the  story  when  it  originated  among 
the  denizens  of  Africa,  who  were  familiar  for  ages  with  the  ostrich  and  its 
habits  ? 

The  verb  "  to  ape"  has  crept  into  our  language  as  an  outgrowth  of  the 
popular  fallacy  that  monkeys  have  a  passion  for  imitating  the  actions  of  men, 
as  parrots  have  for  imitating  their  language.  Nothing  can  be  further  from 
the  truth.  Indeed,  if  monkeys  could  talk  they  ought  to  introduce  into  their 
vocabularies  a  correlative  verb  "  to  man,"  for  according  to  all  theories  of 
creation  or  evolution  the  monkey  came  first,  and  it  is  we  who  are  his  follow- 
ers and  imitators.  It  is  not  the  monkeys  who  have  human  traits,  but  we  who 
have  monkey  traits.  Monkeys  can  be  trained,  like  other  animals,  in  various 
manly  arts,  but  they  are  acutely  conscious  of  the  degradation ;  they  are  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  335 

most  stubborn  of  pupils  ;  they  will  screech  themselves  hoarse,  and  sham  lame- 
ness or  insanity,  before  they  can  be  broken  into  obedience  by  even  the  kindest 
of  trainers. 

It  may  be  assumed  that  nobody  now  believes  in  crocodiles'  tears  ;  yet  it  was 
once  related  by  sober-minded  travellers,  and  accepted  as  a  fact,  that  these 
reptiles  gave  every  outward  evidence  of  excessive  grief  over  the  bodies  of  the 
victims  they  had  slain  and  intended  to  eat,  and  the  expression  still  remains  as 
an  apt  illustration  of  hypocritical  sorrow.  The  truth  appears  to  be  that  the 
crocodile  licks  its  coming  banquet  all  over  to  prepare  it  for  deglutition,  and 
accompanies  this  pleasant  task  with  a  wail  that  sounds  plaintive,  but  is  in 
reality  its  crude  and  inartistic  manner  of  expressing  entire  satisfaction  with 
the  world  and  with  itself. 

The  deadly  upas-tree  is  another  stock  illustration  in  literature.  Yet  it  is  an 
absolute  invention,  without  even  the  authority  of  tradition  to  sanction  its  men- 
dacity, and  was  born  of  the  fun-loving  brain  of  George  Steevens. 

Who  has  not  heard  of  the  Maelstrom  ?  Who  is  not  familiar  with  Poe's 
story  of  a  descent  into  that  terrible  whirlpool .'  Its  startling  air  of  truthful- 
ness makes  you  hold  your  breath  while  you  read  ;  you  almost  fancy  yourself 
one  of  the  mariners  swept  down  into  the  abyss  ;  you  join  in  the  cry  of  joy  at 
their  miraculous  deliverance.  Poe,  when  he  wrote  the  story,  believed  that 
he  was  describing  something  that  might  have  happened  ;  the  Maelstrom 
was  an  article  of  faith  which  had  never  been  doubted  by  the  English-speak- 
ing races  from  the  time  that  Purchas  first  described  it  in  his  "  Pilgrimage." 
Edmund  Gosse  was,  we  believe,  the  first  Englishman  to  explode  the  myth ; 
at  all  events,  in  the  record  of  his  visits  to  the  Lofoden  Islands  he  evidently 
looked  upon  himself  as  a  pioneer,  and  regretted  that  truth  obliged  him  "to 
raze  to  the  ground  with  ruthless  hand  the  romantic  fabric  of  fable"  that  had 
surrounded  the  Maelstrom  from  time  immemorial.  "  There  is  no  such  whirl- 
pool," he  said,  "as  Pontoppidan  and  Purchas  describe  :  the  site  of  the  famous 
Maelstrom  is  put  by  the  former  writer  between  Moskenoeso  and  the  lofty  iso- 
lated rock  of  Mosken  ;  the  passage  is  at  the  present  day  called  Moskostrom, 
and  is  one  of  those  narrow  straits,  so  common  on  the  Norwegian  coast,  where 
the  current  of  water  sets  with  such  persistent  force  in  one  direction,  that  when 
the  tide  or  an  adverse  wind  meets  it,  a  great  agitation  of  the  surface  takes 
place.  I  have  myself  seen,  on  one  of  the  narrow  sounds,  the  tide  meet  the 
current  with  such  violence  as  to  raise  a  little  hissing  wall  across  the  water, 
which  gave  out  a  loud  noise.  This  was  in  the  calmest  of  weather ;  and  it  is 
easy  to  believe  that  such  a  phenomenon,  occurring  during  a  storm,  or  when 
the  sea  was  violently  disturbed,  would  cause  small  boats  passing  over  the  spot 
to  be  in  great  peril,  and  even  suddenly  swamp  them."  Alas  and  alas  !  and 
so  that  is  all  that  ruthless  investigation  leaves  us  of  the  Maelstrom,  the  pro- 
digious whirlpool  that 

Whirled  to  death  the  roaring  whale, 
that  sucked  the  largest  ships  into  its  monstrous  vortex,  and  thundered  so 
loudly  that  the  rings  on  the  doors  of  houses  ten  miles  away  shook  at  the 
sound  of  it. 

But  the  whirligig  of  time,  paradoxical  as  ever  in  its  revenges,  has  rehabili- 
tated many  a  discredited  fact,  so  that  it  is  no  longer  a  vulgar  error  to  believe, 
but  rather  is  one  to  disbelieve,  in  the  roc,  the  unicorn,  the  dragon,  and  many 
another  wonder  of  ancient  fable. 

The  roc  was  first  described  to  Europeans  by  Marco  Polo,  who  called  it  a 
rukh  ;  but  Marco  Polo  was  greeted  with  incredulity  in  this  as  in  other  state- 
ments. In  the  seventeenth  century.  Father  Martmi,  a  missionary  to  China, 
met  with  the  same  fate  when  he  gave  some  account  of  the  bird  in  his  history 
of  that  country.     A  century  later,  the  "Arabian  Nights"  became  familiar  to 


33^  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Europeans,  and  then  it  was  made  evident  to  the  meanest  intelligence  that  the 
roc  mitst  be  a  fable. 

At  last,  in  the  year  1842,  the  Rev.  Mr.  Williams,  a  missionary  in  New  Zea- 
land, wrote  to  Dr.  Buckland  concerning  the  remains  of  an  extraordinary 
monster  which  had  been  pointed  out  to  him  by  the  natives  :  "On  a  comparison 
with  the  bones  of  a  fowl,  I  immediately  perceived  that  they  belonged  to  a  bird 
of  gigantic  size.  The  greatest  height  of  the  bird  was  probably  not  less  than 
fourteen  or  sixteen  feet."  The  natives  gave  this  creature  the  name  of  moa. 
Professor  Owen  was  among  the  English  scientists  who  examined  the  relics. 
He  expressed  his  belief  that  the  great  bird  of  Australia  had  existed  at  no  very 
remote  period.  Other  proofs  have  since  been  obtained  in  Australasia,  which 
place  beyond  doubt  the  recent  existence  of  the  bird  in  that  locality  also. 
There  is  every  reason  to  hold  that  the  roc  was  simply  a  more  or  less  exag- 
gerated representation  of  the  moa.  The  latter  is  said  to  have  produced  the 
largest  of  all  known  eggs.  Early  Arabian  travellers  found  this  bird,  and  told 
the  wonderful  stories  about  it. 

A  similar  case  is  that  of  the  dodo.  The  first  European  settlers  in  the 
Mauritius  described  it  as  a  bird  somewhat  larger  than  a  swan,  but  shaped  like 
a  pigeon,  awkward  in  its  movements,  and  furnished  with  teeth.  Being  unable 
to  fly,  and  running  slowly,  it  was  easily  killed.  Hence  its  speedy  extinction 
with  the  advent  of  civilization.  But  people  soon  began  to  deny  that  it  had  ever 
existed,  and  it  was  in  danger  of  becoming  classed  with  fabulous  animals,  when, 
in  1865,  a  number  of  bones  were  discovered  in  the  course  of  draining  some 
extensive  marshes  on  the  island.  On  being  articulated  by  naturalists,  the 
remains  formed  the  skeleton  of  a  bird  agreeing  in  all  important  particulars 
with  extant  descriptions  of  the  dodo. 

As  to  the  unicorn,  scientists  are  inclined  to  agree  with  Sebastian  in  the 
"Tempest :"  "  Now  will  I  believe  that  there  are  unicorns  !" — to  this  extent,  at 
least,  that  it  was  not  evolved  from  the  inner  consciousness,  but  had  some 
external  basis  of  fact  to  rest  upon.  Some  hold  that  it  was  nothing  more  nor 
less  than  the  rhinoceros,  which  is  indeed  unicornuus, — i.e.,  one-horned, — but 
only  in  that  respect  like  the  unicorn  of  ancient  fable,  whose  earliest  effigies 
are  found  carved  on  the  columns,  temples,  and  pyramids  of  Egypt.  These 
effigies  are  always  in  profile,  and  they  very  closely  resemble  the  profile  of  a 
gnu  (an  animal  only  recently  made  known  to  naturalists)  ;  for  though  that 
animal  has  in  reality  two  horns,  yet  these  grow  in  such  a  manner  that  the 
side-view  reveals  but  one,  apparently  protruding  from  the  middle  of  the  fore- 
head. In  other  respects — in  bodily  shape,  in  the  flowing,  horse-like  tail  and 
mane,  in  the  very  un-horse-like  cleft  hoofs — the  unicorn  is  a  close  copy  of 
the  gnu. 

Modern  geological  discoveries  have  established  the  fact  that  animals  quite 
as  fearsome  as  the  dragons  of  ancient  myth  once  infested  sea  and  shore,  and 
there  can  be  little  doubt  that  the  early  Hellenic  tribes  retained  traditions  of 
these  antediluvian  monsters.  The  dragon  which  guarded  the  golden  fleece 
may  have  been  an  imperfect  reminiscence  of  that  terrible  carnivorous  lizard, 
the  megalosaurus,  which  Buckland  believes  to  have  been  over  sixty  feet  long, 
while  the  sea-monster  that  threatened  Andromeda  may  have  been  a  similar 
avatar  of  the  ichthyosaurus,  whose  awful  eyes,  fully  a  foot  in  diameter,  seem 
to  have  been  fashioned  to  resist  anything  save  the  Gorgon  stare  of  the 
Medusa. 

It  seems  not  at  all  unlikely  that  the  story  of  Sindbad  the  Sailor  may  be  based 
at  least  upon  facts  related  by  sober-minded  travellers,  and  that  these  various 
narrations  were  amplifiecf  and  exaggerated  as  they  passed  from  mouth  to 
mouth,  and  finally  welded  into  an  epic  whole  by  the  improvisators  of  Bagdad. 
We  have  already  seen  what  rights  the  roc  had  to  public  respect  and  confidence. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  337 

The  Old  Man  of  the  Sea  is  a  more  improbable  entity  than  the  roc,  and  yet  it 
may  well  be  that  he  is  no  other  than  our  engaging  friend  the  gorilla,  who, 
according  to  native  testimony,  is  afraid  to  use  his  gift  of  speech  lest  he 
may  be  set  to  work,  who  is  in  the  habit  of  carrying  off  men  and  women  and 
detaining  them  in  the  woods,  and  who  has  a  very  human  capacity  for  drunk- 
enness. 

Sindbad  describes  many  marvels  that  are  now  familiar  to  every  one :  the 
Hindoo  custom  of  burying  the  surviving  consort  with  a  wife  or  husband ;  the 
killing  of  elephants  for  their  ivory,  in  Ceylon  ;  the  method  of  obtaining  gum- 
camphor  from  the  trees  in  the  Malay  Islands  ;  the  great  python  of  India  which 
crushed  and  devoured  men  one  after  the  other ;  the  cannibal  blacks  of  the 
Feejee  Islands.  Even  his  story  of  how  merchants  would  obtain  diamonds  out 
of  the  Valley  of  Diamonds,  by  casting  therein  pieces  of  raw  meat  which  eagles 
bore  upward  to  their  nests,  has  been  corroborated  by  Marco  Polo.  In 
describing  the  diamond-mines  of  Golconda,  the  latter  says,  "There  is  also 
an  extensive  and  very  deep  valley,  so  enclosed  by  rocks  as  to  be  quite  in- 
accessible ;  but  the  people  throw  in  pieces  of  flesh,  to  which  the  diamonds 
adhere.  Now,  you  must  observe,  there  are  a  number  of  white  eagles,  which, 
when  they  see  the  flesh  in  the  bottom  of  the  valley,  fly  thither,  seize  and  carry 
it  to  different  spots.  The  men  are  on  the  watch,  and  as  soon  as  they  see  the 
bird  with  the  spoils  in  its  mouth,  raise  loud  cries,  when,  being  terrified,  it 
flies  away  and  drops  the  meat,  which  they  take  up  and  find  the  diamonds 
attached." 

And  Marco  Polo. J"  Is  he  worthy  of  belief?  His  own  countrymen  did  not 
think  so  when  he  returned  to  them  in  1295,  and  the  nickname  of  "  Messer 
Marco  Millioni"  with  which  they  dubbed  him  is  interpreted  by  some  his- 
torians as  a  reflection  upon  the  numerous  fables  which  he  sought  to  impose 
upon  the  public.  Similar  incredulity  has  been  visited  upon  many  other  trav- 
ellers, even  down  to  our  time,  when  Du  Chaillu  sought  to  introduce  us  to  our 
distant  relative  the  gorilla,  and  to  the  pygmies  of  Central  Africa.  But  further 
research  has  established  the  substantial  accuracy  of  Marco  Polo  as  of  Paul 
Du  Chaillu. 

We  have  been  speaking  of  so-called  myths  that  were  discredited,  and  then 
credited  again  through  a  wider  reach  of  knowledge.  A  still  more  singular 
anornaly  may  be  noted, — a  myth  which  was  first  discredited,  then  generally 
credited  on  increase  of  evidence,  until  finally,  when  the  evidence  was  all  in,  it 
resolved  itself  back  again  into  a  myth.  Such  an  instance  is  furnished  by  the 
Car  of  Juggernaut.  Mendez  Pinto  earned  the  title  of  "  Prince  of  Liars" 
because,  on  his  return  from  the  East,  he  wrote  an  account  of  his  travels  con- 
taining many  improbable  stories,  among  others  that  of  "the  pagoda  of  Trin- 
kalmar,  before  whose  chariot-wheels  persons  sacrifice  themselves."  This  tale 
was  singled  out  as  being  especially  laughable.  But  the  laughers  sobered  down 
in  the  succeeding  centuries  when  traveller  after  traveller  came  back  with 
Stories  of  the  car  of  Jagganatha,  or  lord  of  the  world,  before  the  wheels  of 
which  the  frantic  devotees  would  throw  themselves  with  suicidal  intent.  The 
myth  grew  to  be  generally  believed.  The  car  of  Juggernaut — the  usual  form 
into  which  the  Hindoo  name  was  corrupted — became  one  of  the  stock  illus- 
trations of  preachers,  writers,  and  orators.  Mendez  Pinto  was  reinstated  in 
public  opinion.  But,  lo  !  it  has  been  quite  recently  discovered  that  the  myth 
was  in  very  truth  a  myth.  The  festival  when  Jagganatha  is  dragged  in  his 
car  on  a  yearly  visit  from  the  town  named  after  him  to  his  country  quarters  is 
sometimes  attended  by  accidents  among  the  worshippers,  whereby  one  or  more 
may  be  injured  or  even  killed,  but  never  by  voluntary  suicides. 

Besides  these  larger  errors  which  have  been  embalmed  in  literature,  there 
are  many  homelier  ones  which  freely  enter  into  our  domestic  life.     Thus, 
P        z«/  29 


338  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

many  a  dog-owner  is  impressed  with  the  idea  that  brimstone  is  a  wholesome 
addition  to  the  animal's  drinking-water.  But  sulphur  is  insoluble  in  water, 
and  the  most  that  can  be  said  for  it  when  given  in  this  form  is  that  it  is  entirely 
harmless.  That  pipes  are  burst  in  a  thaw  is  another  harmless  and  yet  plaus- 
ible error.  Pipes  are  really  burst  during  the  cold  spell,  but  the  leak,  of  course, 
cannot  be  discovered  until  the  frozen  water  thaws.  Another  exemplification 
oi  \\\&  post  hoc  propter  hoc  ^TiW^c^  \%  the  common  superstition  that  bones  are 
more  brittle  in  winter  than  in  summer.  More  bones,  indeed,  are  broken 
during  the  cold  months,  but  that  is  simply  because  there  is  then  more  liability 
to  accidents  from  slipping  and  falling.  People  who  trust  too  much  to  the 
evidence  of  their  senses  believe  that  sunlight  puts  out  a  fire,  whereas  it  merely 
pales  its  apparent  brilliancy,  jus^  as  it  pales  the  light  of  the  stars.  The  eye- 
sight is,  again,  deluded  by  sleeping  birds  ;  they  seem  to  sleep  with  the  head 
under  the  wing;  in  reality  the  head  is  turned  round  and  laid  upon  the  soft, 
yielding  feathers  of  the  back,  which  frequently  hide  it  entirely  from  sight. 
And  as  to  that  superstition  common  to  both  England  and  America,  that  when 
a  snake  is  killed  its  tail  will  not  die  until  sunset,  it  is  a  mere  hasty  generaliza- 
tion from  the  fact  that  a  snake  is  endowed  with  great  muscular  irritability,  so 
that  its  heart  will  contract  after  removal  from  the  body,  and  the  tail  will  move 
after  the  reptile  is  dead.  But  the  continuance  of  this  motion  has  nothing  to 
do  with  the  setting  of  the  sun.  Frederick  Werne,  in  his  "  Campaign  in  Taka," 
gives  an  account  of  the  killing  of  a  large  water-snake,  which,  after  being  partly 
skinned,  he  left  hanging  on  the  front  beam  of  the  hut  until  morning.  "  In  the 
early  morning  hours,"  he  says,  "  I  thought  I  had  been  struck  over  the  shin 
with  a  club.  The  dead  snake  had  given  me  a  wipe  with  its  tail  through  the 
open  door." 

Escape,  Let  no  guilty  man.  In  1875,  when  Bristow,  Secretary  of  the 
Treasury  in  President  Grant's  cabinet,  was  unearthing  the  frauds  upon  the 
revenue,  and  instituting  proceedings  against  the  members  of  the  "Whiskey 
Ring,"  it  was  supposed,  from  the  President's  previous  intimacy  with  some  of 
the  persons  implicated,  that  he  and  his  Secretary  were  not  in  full  accord  in  the 
efforts  made  by  the  latter  to  bring  to  justice  all  who  had  been  engaged  in 
violation  of  the  law.  On  a  letter  relating  to  the  prosecution,  July  29,  1875,  the 
President  made  the  following  autographic  endorsement:  "Let  no  guilty  man 
escape,  if  it  can  be  avoided.  No  personal  consideration  should  stand  in  the 
way  of  performing  a  public  duty."  The  matter  transpired,  and  the  words  "  Let 
no  guilty  man  escape"  became  a  popular  cry. 

Essex  Junto,  a  sobriquet  applied  by  John  Hancock  in  1781  to  a  faction 
that  followed  the  lead  of  certain  public  men  from  Essex  County,  Massachu- 
setts, who,  representing  the  commercial  interests  of  the  country,  were  foremost 
in  their  demands  for  a  strong  Federal  government.  After  the  adoption  of 
the  Constitution  they  allied  themselves  with  the  Federalist  party  as  the  most 
uncompromising  adherents  of  Alexander  Hamilton.  John  Adams,  whom  they 
antagonized,  revived  the  nickname,  and  sought  to  represent  them  as  a  British 
faction  hostile  to  France.  They  were  held  mainly  responsible  for  the  opposi- 
tion to  the  war  of  1812,  which  culminated  in  the  Hartford  Convention.  Pick- 
ering and  Fisher  Ames  were  among  the  leading  spirits. 

Est-il-possible  .■'  (Fr.,  "  Is-it-possible  ?"),  a  nickname  applied  by  James  II. 
of  England  to  Prince  George  of  Denmark,  husband  of  his  daughter  the  Princess 
Anne,  afterwards  Queen  Anne  of  England.  As  the  events  of  the  Revolu- 
tion of  1688  followed  one  another  in  startling  succession,  the  comment  of  the 
fat-witted  prince  at  every  fresh  item  of  news  was,  "  Est-il  possible  ?"  When, 
finally,  he^  too  joined  the  cause  of  William  and  Mary,  James  is  reported  to 
have  said,  "  What !  Est-il-possible  gone,  too  ?" 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


339 


Esto  Perpetua!  (L.,  "Be  thou  perpetual,"  or,  "  Mayest  thou  endure  for 
ever  !"),  the  dying  apostrophe  of  Pietro  Sarpi,  addressed  to  his  beloved  Venice, 
January  15,  1623.  It  is  hardly  necessary  to  note  that  in  the  masculine  the  last 
word  would  be  perpetuo. 

Spirit  of  Swift — spirit  of  Molyneux — your  genius  has  prevailed.  Ireland  is  now  a  nation  ;  and 

in  that  new  character  I  hail  her,  and,  bowing  to  her  august  presence,  I  say,  Esto  perpetua. 

Grattan,  1.782. 

Et  tu,  Brute  !  (L.,  "  And  thou  too,  O  Brutus  !"),  the  exclamation  said  to 
have  been  uttered  by  Caesar  when  he  discovered  Brutus  among  the  conspira- 
tors attacking  him.  The  phrase  is  a  pure  fabrication,  though  the  when  and 
tlie  how  of  the  fabrication  are  a  mystery.  According  to  Plutarch,  Casca  hav- 
ing struck  the  first  blow,  Caesar  turned  upon  him  and  laid  hold  of  his  sword, 
crying,  "Villain  Casca,  what  dost  thou  mean  .?"  whereupon  Casca  called  upon 
his  brother  for  help.  "  Some  say  Caesar  opposed  the  rest,  and  continued 
struggling  and  crying  out,  till  he  perceived  the  sword  of  Brutus;  then  he 
drew  his  robe  over  his  face,  and  yielded  to  his  fate."  Nicholas  Damascenus 
mentions  no  one  as  speaking  except  Casca,  who,  he  says,  "  calls  to  his  brother 
in  Greek  on  account  of  the  tumult."  Suetonius  says  that  the  dictator  was 
stabbed  with  three-and-twenty  wounds,  uttering  no  sound  beyond  a  groan  at 
the  first  blow :  "  although"  some  have  handed  down  that  to  Marcus  Brutus, 
rushing  on,  he  said,  Kat  av,  tekvov  ('And  you,  my  son')."  But  amid  all  this 
conflict  of  statement  nobody  seems  to  have  handed  down  the  famous  £(  fu, 
Brute!  It  was  invented  long  afterwards,  and  the  genius  of  Shakespeare 
(Julms  CcBsar,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  i)  has  fixed  it  indelibly  in  the  popular  mind.  Sue- 
tonius, it  may  be  added,  accuses  Caesar  of  having  had  an  intrigue  with  the 
mother  of  Brutus  :  hence  the  word  tskvod,  "son,"  is  supposed  to  imply  more 
than,  an  ordinary  term  of  affection.  But  it  is  not  unlikely  that  the  whole  state- 
ment of  the  effect  of  the  sight  of  Brutus  upon  Caesar  may  be  a  fiction  suggested 
by  the  currently-accepted  scandal. 

Eternal  friendship,  Let  us  swear  an.  The  earliest  use  of  the  phrase 
in  English  humorous  literature  is  about  1798,  in  J.  Hookham  Frere's  "The 
Rovers,"  Act  i.,  Sc.  i  :  "  A  sudden  thought  strikes  me — let  us  swear  an  eter- 
nal friendship."  The  line,  as  well  as  the  play,  is  a  parody  on  Goethe's 
"  Stella,"  where  something  nearly  as  absurd  occurs,  although  no  absurdity 
was  intended.  Two  ladies,  one  the  wife  and  the  other  the  mistress  of  a 
roving  lover,  inadvertently  meet  and  discover  each  other.  The  lover,  unable 
to  quit  Stella  and  unable  to  quit  his  wife,  weeps  with  both,  and  blows  out  his 
brains.  The  episode  parodied  in  these  lines  is  a  proposition  from  one  of  the 
women  that  they  live  together  ;  it  comes  from  Stella  to  the  injured  wife : 
"  Madam,  I  have  an  inspiration  !  .  .  .  We  will  remain  together  ! — Your  hand 
on  it ! — From  this  moment  on,  I  will  never  leave  you  !" 

Sydney  Smith,  hearing  a  lady  decline  gravy  at  a  dinner,  exclaimed,  "  Madam, 
I  have  been  looking  all  my  life  for  a  person  who  disliked  gravy :  let  us  swear 
eternal  friendship." 

In  "  The  Orphan,"  by  Thomas  Otway,  occurs  this  line  :  "  Let  us  embrace, 
and  from  this  very  moment  vow  an  eternal  misery  together"  (Act  iv.,  Sc.  2). 

Eternal  vigilance  is  the  price  of  liberty.  Who  first  used  this  pre- 
cise collocation  of  words  is  unknown.  John  Philpot  Curran  came  very  near 
to  it  in  his  "  Speech  upon  the  Right  of  Election,  1 790  :"  "  The  condition  under 
which  God  hath  given  liberty  to  man  is  eternal  vigilance ;  which  condition  if 
he  break,  servitude  is  at  once  the  consequence  of  his  crime  and  the  punish- 
ment of  his  guilt"  {Speeches,  Dublin,  1808).  Demosthenes,  in  his  Second 
Philippic,  sec.  24,  had  a  dim  adumbration  of  the  thought :  "  There  is  one 


34°  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

safeguard  known  generally  to  the  wise,  which  is  an  advantage  and  security  to 
all,  but  especially  to  democracies  as  against  despots.  What  is  it  ?  Distrust." 
In  "  Poor  Richard's  Almanack"  for  1733  may  be  found  the  maxim,  "Distrust 
and  caution  are  the  parents  of  security." 

Sterilities,  Betvreen  two.  Carlyle,  in  his  "  Heroes  and  Hero-Wor- 
ship,"  has  this  memorable  phrase  : 

Our  life, — a  little  gleam  of  time  between  two  Eternities. —  The  Hero  as  Man  of  Letters. 
In  his  essay  "  Signs  of  the  Times,"  he  had  already  said, — 

The  poorest  day  that  passes  over  us  is  the  conflux  of  two  Eternities ;  it  is  made  up  of  cur- 
rents that  issue  from  the  remotest  Past  and  flow  onwards  into  the  remotest  Future. 

In  other  places  he  has  rung  changes  upon  the  same  theme.  Evidently  to  him 
it  embodied  a  great  truth.  In  his  "  Reminiscences"  he  has  carefully  detailed 
its  genesis  : 

Another  of  these  days  I  was  in  the  throes  of  a  review  article  ("  Characteristics,"  was  it?), 
and  sauntered  about  much  on  the  strain,  to  small  purpose ;  dinner  all  the  time  that  I  could 
afford.  Smoking  outside  at  the  dining-room  window,  "  Is  not  every  day  the  conflux  of  two 
eternities,"  thought  I,  "  for  every  man  t"  Lines  of  influence  from  all  the  past  and  stretching 
onwards  into  all  the  future,  do  intersect  there.  That  little  thoughtkin  stands  in  some  of  my 
books;   I  recollect  being  thankful  (scraggily  thankful)  for  the  day  of  small  things. 

There  can  be  no  question  here  of  imitation,  conscious  or  unconscious.  Yet 
the  thought,  and  almost  the  words,  are  found  in  Cowley : 

Vain,  weak-built  isthmus  which  dost  proudly  rise 
Up  between  two  eternities. 

Ode  on  Life  and  Fame. 

Pope  has  borrowed  from  Cowley  without  improving  him  : 
Placed  on  this  isthmus  of  a  middle  state, 
A  being  darkly  wise  and  rudely  great. 

Essay  on  Man,  Epistle  ii.,  2. 

Striking  parallels  occur  in  two  great  thinkers  of  an  elder  time  : 
A  INIoment's  Halt, — a  momentary  taste 
Of  Being  from  the  Well  amid  the  Waste,— 

And,  Lo  !  the  phantom  Caravan  has  reached 
The  Nothing  it  set  out  from.     Oh,  make  haste  ! 

Omar  Khayyam  :  Rubaiyat,  Stanza  xlviii. 

Remember  that  man's  life  lies  all  within  this  present,  as  'twere  but  a  hair's-breadth  of  time  ; 
as  for  the  rest,  the  past  is  gone,  the  future  yet  unseen.  Short,  therefore,  is  man's  life,  and 
narrow  is  the  comer  of  the  earth  wherein  he  dwells. — Marcus  Aurelius  :  Meditations,  iii.  10. 

Etiquette.  Probably  most  readers  remember  Mr.  William  S.  Gilbert's 
"Bab  Ballad"  entitled  "Etiquette."  The  account  of  the  two  Englishmen 
who,  after  being  shipwrecked  on  a  desert  island,  refuse  to  speak  to  each 
other  because  they  have  not  been  introduced,  is  not  half  so  ludicrous  as  the 
famous  story  of  Philip  III.  of  Spain,  which  was  thus  told  in  the  first  edition 
of  D'Israeli's  "Curiosities  of  Literature:" 

Philip  III.  was  gravely  seated  by  the  fireside  :  the  fire-maker  of  the  Court  had  kindled  so 
great  a  quantity  of  wood  that  the  monarch  was  nearly  suffocated  with  heat,  and  \\\?> grandeur 
would  not  suffer  him  to  rise  from  the  chair ;  the  domestics  could  not  presume  to  enter  the 
apartment,  because  it  was  against  the  etiquette.  At  length  the  Marquis  de  Potat  appeared, 
and  the  king  ordered  him  to  damp  the  fire ;  but  he  excused  himself,  alleging  that  he  was  for- 
bidden by  the  etiquette  to  perform  such  a  function,  for  which  the  Duke  d'Usseda  {sic]  ought  to 
be  called  upon,  as  it  was  his  business.  The  duke  was  gone  out ;  \he.  fire  burnt  fiercer,  and 
the  king  endured  it  rather  than  derogate  from  his  dignity.  But  his  blood  was  heated  to  such 
a  degree  that  an  erysipelas  of  the  head  appeared  the  next  day,  which,  succeeded  by  a  violent 
fever,  carried  him  off  in  1621,  in  the  twenty-foiulh  year  of  his  age. 

The  Story  has  been  gravely  accepted  by  many,  and  has  become  a  stock 
Illustration  in  English  literature.     Yet  historian  after  historian  has  shown  that 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  341 

there  is  not  an  iota  of  evidence  to  support  it,  and  indeed  its  inaccuracy  is 
patent  on  the  face  of  it.  In  the  lifetime  of  D'Israeli,  Bolton  Corney  pointed 
out  that  Philip  III.  of  Spain  died  in  his  forty-third  year,  and  not  in  his  twenty- 
fourth,  that  though  his  death  was  undoubtedly  caused  by  erysipelas  there  was 
no  historical  foundation  for  D'Israeli's  story,  and  that,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  the 
story  itself  took  its  rise  in  the  lively  imagination  of  certain  French  memoir- 
writers. 

D'Israeli,  in  the  second  edition  of  his  "  Curiosities,"  retained  the  story, 
changing  only  the  final  word  "age"  to  "reign."  In  a  preface  to  this  edition, 
he  accuses  his  critic  of  "  vulgar  arrogance  and  thoroughly  ungentlemanlike 
style,"  and  in  his  own  modest,  gentlemanlike  way  wonders  how  "  this  mole, 
who  is  very  capable  to  grub,  thus  hardily  ventured  to  a  positive  denial  of  this 
anecdote  of  Spanish  etiquette."  D'Israeli  cannot  deny  that  he  had  blundered 
in  the  matter  of  the  king's  age  ;  but  he  refers  to  that  not  very  recondite 
authority,  "L'Art  de  verifier  les  Dates,"  as  his  authority  for  the  story.  The 
story  is  given  in  that  book,  to  be  sure,  but  in  a  very  different  way,  which 
would  have  been  by  no  means  too  free  for  D'Israeli's  not  overly  squeamish 
pen ;  and  had  D'Israeli  really  gone  to  it  for  information  he  could  not  have 
fallen  into  error  about  the  king's  age. 

In  fact,  the  story,  like  that  of  William  Tell,  is  a  good  old  stock-tale  that 
has  been  related  of  many  monarchs  and  many  courts,  and  it  undoubtedly  was 
originally  a  pure  invention.  This  is  how  it  was  told  of  the  queen  of  Louis 
XV.  of  France.  One  day  she  discovered  a  speck  of  dust  on  her  bed  and 
showed  it  to  Madame  de  Luynes,  her  maid  of  honor.  The  latter  sent  for  the 
valet-de-chambre  bedmaker  to  the  queen,  that  he  might  show  it  to  the  valet- 
de-chambre  bedmaker  to  the  king.  The  latter  arrived  at  the  end  of  an  hour, 
but  said  that  the  dust  was  none  of  his  business,  because  the  bedmakers  of 
the  king  made  up  the  common  bed  of  the  queen,  but  were  forbidden  to  touch 
the  state  bed  :  consequently,  the  dust  must  be  removed  by  the  officers  of  the 
household.  The  queen  gave  orders  that  they  should  be  sent  for  ;  and  every 
day,  for  two  months,  she  asked  if  the  dust  had  been  brushed  off,  but  they  had 
not  yet  found  out  whose  duty  it  was  to  remove  the  speck.  Finally,  the  queen 
took  up  a  feather  duster,  and  brushed  it  off.  Great  was  the  scandal  thereof, 
but  no  one  dreamed  of  blaming  the  absence  of  the  officers  ;  they  only  found 
that  the  queen  had  been  wanting  in  etiquette. 

And  yet,  though  these  stories  are  untrue,  they  might  very  easily  be  true. 
Certainly  they  are  not  too  strange  to  be  true.  They  are  not  one  whit  more 
extraordinary  than  a  hundred  well-authenticated  stories.  Have  we  not  all 
heard  the  old  proverb,  that  the  queen  of  Spain  has  no  legs .?  The  feet  and 
legs  of  queens  were  so  sacred  that  it  was  a  crime  to  think,  or  at  any  rate 
to  speak,  of  them.  On  the  arrival  of  the  Princess  Maria  Anna  of  Austria, 
the  bride  of  Philip  IV.,  in  Spain,  a  quantity  of  the  finest  silk  stockings  were 
presented  to  her  in  a  city  where  there  were  manufactories  of  that  article. 
The  major-domo  of  the  future  queen  threw  back  the  stockings  with  indig- 
nation, exclaiming,  "Know  that  the  queens  of  Spain  have  no  legs."  When 
the  young  bride  heard  this,  she  began  to  weep  bitterly,  declaring  that  she  would 
return  to  Vienna,  and  that  she  would  never  have  set  foot  in  Spain  had 
she  known  that  her  legs  were  to  be  cut  off.  This  ridiculous  etiquette  was 
carried  still  further.  One  day,  as  the  second  consort  of  Charles  II.  was  riding 
a  very  spirited  horse,  the  animal  reared  on  his  hind  legs.  At  the  moment 
when  the  horse  seemed  on  the  point  of  falling  back  with  his  fair  rider,  the 
queen  slipped  off  on  one  side,  and  remained  with  one  of  her  feet  hanging  in 
the  stirrup.  The  unruly  beast,  irritated  still  more  at  the  burden  which  fell  on 
one  side,  kicked  with  the  utmost  violence  in  all  directions.  In  the  first 
moments  of  danger  and  alarm,  no  person  durst  venture  to  the  assistance  of 


342  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

the  queen,  for  this  reason, — that,  excepting  the  king  and  the  chief  of  the 
meninos,  or  little  pages,  no  person  of  the  male  sex  was  allowed  to  touch  any 
part  of  the  queens  of  Spain,  and  least  of  all  their  feet.  As  the  danger  of  the 
queen  augmented,  two  cavaliers  ran  to  her  relief.  One  of  them  seized  the 
bridle  of  the  horse,  while  the  other  drew  the  queen's  foot  from  the  stirrup, 
and  in  performing  this  service  dislocated  his  thumb.  As  soon  as  they  had 
saved  her  life  they  hastened  away  with  all  possible  expedition,  ordered  their 
fleetest  horses  to  be  saddled,  and  were  just  preparing  for  their  flight  out  of 
the  kingdom,  when  a  messenger  came  to  inform  them  that,  at  the  queen's 
intercession,  the  king  had  pardoned  the  crime  they  had  committed  in  touching 
her  person. 

Mirabeau  made  a  famous  reference  to  the  Spanish  phrase  in  1791.  During 
the  brief  moment  when  the  National  Assembly  ceased  its  struggle  with  the 
court  on  the  king's  acceptance  of  the  constitution,  a  deputy  proposed  that 
the  homage  of  the  nation  should  be  borne  to  the  feet  of  his  majesty  as  the 
restorer  of  French  liberty.  Mirabeau  curtly  suggested,  "  Majesty  has  no 
feet,"  and  the  motion  was  dropped. 

But  the  story  can  be  paralleled  in  the  Spain  of  to-day.  Thus,  when 
Alfonso,  the  little-boy  king,  was  about  four  years  of  age  he  tripped  on  the 
steps  of  the  grand  staircase  in  the  royal  palace  at  Madrid,  and  plunged 
head-foremost  down.  Fortunately,  a  footman,  recently  engaged,  and  conse- 
quently a  trifle  green,  was  standing  on  the  steps  with  his  back  against  the 
wall,  waiting  until  his  sovereign  had  passed.  With  rare  self-sacrifice  and 
presence  of  mind,  the  menial  faced  around  and  caught  the  flying  form  of 
the  child,  thus  saving  him,  if  not  from  death,  at  least  from  serious  injury. 
Queen  Christina  was  as  grateful  as  any  mother  could  be.  But  not  even  she, 
though  as  regent  she  held  the  reins  of  power  in  Spain, — not  even  she  could 
save  the  man  from  dismissal.  Only  a  grandee  is  allowed  to  touch  the  sacred 
person  of  His  Most  Catholic  Majesty.  She  did,  indeed,  ward  off  from  him 
any  other  punishment  to  which  he  might  have  rendered  himself  liable,  re- 
warded him  with  money,  and  found  for  him  a  position  as  game-keeper  on  one 
of  the  royal  estates  in  the  northern  ])art  of  the  kingdom. 

One  of  the  chief  reasons  of  the  Duke  of  Aosta's  unpopularity  during  the 
brief  reign  which  he  closed  with  a  voluntary  abdication  was  that  he  would 
take  no  pains  to  study  the  complicated  etiquette  of  the  Escurial,  but  sought 
to  introduce  simple  manners  in  a  country  where  even  beggars  drape  them- 
selves proudly  in  their  tattered  mantles  and  address  one  another  as  "  Senor 
Caballero."  He  one  day  told  a  muleteer,  with  whom  he  had  stopped  to  talk 
on  a  country  road  under  a  broiling  sun,  to  put  on  his  hat, — forgetting  that  by 
the  act  of  ordering  a  subject  to  cover  himself  in  the  royal  presence  he  cre- 
ated him  a  grandee.  Marshal  Prim,  who  was  standing  by,  hastily  knocked 
the  muleteer's  head-dress  out  of  his  hand  and  set  his  foot  upon  it,  at  the 
same  time  offering  the  man  some  gold  ;  but  the  muleteer,  who  was  mortally 
offended,  spurned  the  money  ;  and  a  few  days  later,  when  Prim  was  assassi- 
nated, a  rumor  was  circulated  among  the  people — but  without  truth,  it  seems — 
that  the  mortified  individual  who  had  narrowly  missed  becoming  a  grandee 
was  an  accessory  to  the  crime.  On  another  occasion,  King  Amadeo  incon- 
siderately addressed  a  groom  of  his  in  the  second  person  singular  as  tu. 
Happily,  the  man  was  an  Italian  ;  for,  as  a  court  chamberlain  represented  to 
his  majesty,  a  Spaniard  spoken  to  with  this  familiarity  might  have  claimed 
that  the  monarch  had  dubbed  him  cousin, — that  is,  had  ennobled  him.  Another 
thing  which  the  much-worried  Italian  prince  had  to  learn  was  that  a  Spanish 
king  must  not  sign  any  letter  to  a  subject  with  any  friendly  or  complimentary 
formula,  but  must  simply  write,  Yo  El  Rey  ("  I  the  King"). 

Etiquette  likewise  plays  a  great  role  at  the  court  of  Great  Britain.     The 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  343 

queen  herself  is  extremely  punctilious.  One  of  the  best-known  illustrations 
occurred  during  her  visit  to  King  Louis  Philippe  of  France,  in  the  lifetime  of 
her  husband.  Feeling  thirsty  one  evening  after  dinner,  while  chatting  with 
the  king,  she  intimated  her  wish  for  a  glass  of  water.  The  king,  like  the 
good  bourgeois  that  he  was,  rose  from  his  seat,  went  over  to  the  fireplace, 
rung  his  bell,  and  when  a  servant  appeared  ordered  him  to  bring  a  glass  of 
water.  A  couple  of  minutes  later  the  man  reappeared  with  a  goblet  of  water 
on  a  gold  salver  and  presented  it  to  the  queen.  To  the  astonishment  of 
King  Louis  Philippe,  she  declined  it.  The  man  was  just  leaving  the  room 
with  the  water  untouched,  when  the  Due  d'Aumale,  who  had  been  an  attentive 
witness  of  the  whole  affair,  took  the  salver  from  the  servant  and  presented  it 
himself  to  the  queen.  Her  majesty  immediately  accepted  the  proffered  gob- 
let. Only  then  did  worthy  King  Louis  Philippe  realize  that  his  royal  guest 
deemed  herself  debarred  by  the  unwritten  laws  of  etiquette  from  taking  the 
goblet  from  the  hands  of  an  ordinary  servant. 

France  has  abolished  royalty  and  the  picturesque  absurdity  that  is  the  usual 
accompaniment  of  royalty.  Kut  in  the  days  when  royalty  was  at  its  apogee, 
the  days  of  the  Grand  Monarque  himself,  France  yielded  to  no  other  court  in 
stiff  and  starched  pomposity.  The  etiquette  which  prevailed  at  Versailles 
was  of  the  most  minutely  elaborate  character,  and  governed  every  movement 
of  the  king  and  those  about  him  from  the  very  moment  he  opened  his  august 
eyes  until  he  closed  them  in  sleep.  He  was  the  centre  of  the  whole  ;  it  was  a 
drama,  daily  repeated, — the  same  characters,  the  same  scenes,  the  same  details, 
— oppressive  in  its  sameness,  fatiguing  in  its  constant  pressure.  We  have 
neither  the  space  nor  the  inclination  to  dwell  on  all  the  extraordinary  cere- 
monial of  the  state  dinner;  the  twenty  or  thirty  grandees  fluttering  around 
the  king's  plates  and  glasses  ;  the  sacramental  utterances  of  the  occasion  ; 
the  gaudy  procession  of  the  retinue  ;  the  arrival  of  la  nef, — that  is,  the  centre 
piece  of  plate  which  contained,  between  scented  cushions,  the  king's  napkins; 
and  Vessai  des  plats, — the  tasting  of  each  dish  by  the  gentlemen  servants  and 
officers  of  the  table  before  the  king  partook  of  it.  The  same  custom  was 
observed  with  the  beverages.  It  took  four  persons  to  serve  the  king  with  a 
glass  of  wine  and  water.  Well  might  Frederick  the  Great,  on  hearing  an 
account  of  all  this  tyranny  of  etiquette,  exclaim  that  if  he  were  King  of 
France  his  first  edict  would  be  to  appoint  another  king  to  hold  court  in  his 
place. 

Contemporary  Austria  was  not  far  behind.  To  Charles  VI.  especially,  the 
last  male  scion  of  the  old  line  of  Hapsburg,  etiquette  was  as  the  breath  of 
life.  Even  before  he  succeeded  to  the  Austrian  throne, — as  early,  indeed,  as 
1706,  when  Philip  of  Anjou,  his  rival  for  the  crown  of  Spain,  had  left  Madrid, — 
Charles,  to  the  rage  of  his  English  allies,  refused  to  enter  the  city  because  he 
had  as  yet  no  state  carriage,  and  it  would  be  contrary  to  all  etiquette  to  do  so 
without.  In  1732  he  had  engaged  to  hold  an  important  political  conference 
with  Frederick  William,  King  of  Prussia.  Yet  the  chief  subject  of  debate 
at  the  Austrian  State  Council  held  before  the  interview  was  on  the  question 
whether  his  Imi^erial  Majesty  should  shake  hands  with  the  Prussian  monarch 
or  not.  After  long  deliberation,  they  came  to  the  conclusion  that  he  ought 
not  to  do  so,  as  such  a  proceeding  would  inflict  a  lasting  wound  on  the  im- 
perial dignity. 

Eton  Montem,  a  curious  ceremony,  apparently  coeval  with  the  foundation 
of  Eton  College  in  1440,  which  took  place  at  that  college  every  third  year  up 
to  1845.  It  consisted  of  a  procession  of  the  scholars  to  a  small  tuinulus  close 
to  the  famous  old  post-road  to  Bath.  On  the  way,  tribute,  termed  "salt,"  was 
exacted  from  every  one  along  the  route  and  from  the  wealthier  classes  for 
miles  around.    Hence  the  tumulus  gained  the  name  of  Salt  Hill.    The  money 


344  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

thus  collected,  sometimes  as  much  as  eight  hundred  pounds,  was  given  to  the 
head  boy  on  the  foundation,  to  assist  in  defraying  his  college  expenses.  Eton 
Montem  is  supposed  to  have  been  derived  from  the  custom  prevalent  at  Salis- 
bury and  other  places  of  electing  a  boy-bishop  from  the  choristers  attached  to 
the  cathedral.  Tradition  affirms  that  part  of  the  original  ceremony  had  been 
for  a  boy  in  clerical  garb,  with  a  wig,  to  read  prayers.  This  time-honored 
and  picturesque  custom  was  brought  to  an  end  by  Dr.  Hawtrey.  On  Whit- 
Tuesday,  June  28,  1844,  Salt  Hill  was  for  the  last  time  the  scene  of  these 
festivities.  Miss  Edgeworth  has  an  excellent  account  of  the  custom  in  her 
story  of  "  Eton  Montem"  in  "  The  Parent's  Assistant." 

Eureka!  (Gr.,  rfpr/zca,  "I  have  found  it !")  Archimedes  was  consulted  by 
Hiero,  King  of  Syracuse,  in  regard  to  a  gold  crown  suspected  of  being 
alloyed  with  silver.  How  was  the  fraud,  if  any,  to  be  detected  ?  The  mathe- 
matician pondered  over  the  matter,  and  was  still  pondering,  well-nigh  hopeless 
of  a  solution,  when  he  got  into  his  bath.  The  bath  was  full  and  overflowed. 
Then  the  thought  occurred  to  him  :  Exactly  as  much  water  must  overflow  as 
was  equal  in  volume  to  the  size  of  his  body.  Quick  as  lightning  came  another 
thought :  If  he  put  the  crown  into  a  vessel  of  water,  and  weighed  the  over- 
flow, then  put  into  the  water  a  piece  of  pure  gold  weighing  exactly  as  much 
as  the  crown,  the  overflow  should  weigh  exactly  as  much  in  one  case  as  in  the 
other,  provided  the  crown  were  pure.  Electrified  by  the  thought,  he  leaped 
from  the  bath,  and  ran  naked  through  the  streets,  shouting,  "  Eureka  !  Eureka  !" 
It  is  added  that  his  test  proved  that  the  smith  had  in  fact  cheated  the  king. 
The  cry  is  now  familiarly  used  as  an  exclamation  of  triumph  at  a  discovery  or 
supposed  discovery.  It  is  the  motto  of  the  State  of  California,  in  allusion  to 
the  discovery  of  gold  there. 

Europe  —  Cathay.  In  Tennyson's  "  Locksley  Hall,"  after  the  hero  has 
uttered  his  wild  threat  to  take  some  savage  woman  "  who  shall  rear  my  dusky 
race,"  he  regains  self-mastery  with  the  words, — 

Fool,  again  the  dream,  the  fancy  !  but  I  know  my  words  are  wild. 
But  I  count  the  gray  barbarian  lower  than  the  Christian  child. 

Through  the  shadow  of  the  globe  we  sweep  into  the  younger  day  : 
Better  fifty  years  of  Europe  than  a  cycle  of  Cathay. 

A  noteworthy,  though  obviously  an  accidental,  coincidence  occurs  in  De 
Quincey: 

I  know  not  whether  others  share  in  my  feelings  on  this  point ;  but  I  have  often  thought 
that  if  I  were  compelled  to  forego  England,  and  to  live  in  China,  and  among  Chinese  manners 
and  modes  of  life  and  scenery,  I  should  go  mad. — Confessions  0/ an  English  Opium-Eater, 
May,  1818. 

But  a  closer  analogy  to  the  thought  in  the  passage  occurs  in  any  one  of  the 
following  extracts : 

One  crowded  hour  of  glorious  life 
Is  worth  an  age  without  a  name. 

Scott  :   Old  Mortality,  ch.  xxxiv. 
A  day,  an  hour,  of  virtuous  liberiy 
Is  worth  a  whole  eternity  of  bondage. 

Addison  :   Cato. 
The  life  of  a  man  of  virtue  and  talent,  who  should  die  in  his  thirtieth  year,  is,  with  regard 
to  his  own  feelings,  longer  than  that  of  a  miserable  priest-ridden  slave  who  dreams  out  a  cen- 
tury of  goodness. — Shelley  :  Notes  to  "Queen  Mab." 

Perhaps  the  perishing  ephemeron  enjoys  a  longer  life  than  the  tortoise. — Ibid. 
The  duration  of  the  freedom  and  the  glory  of  Greece  was  short.     But  a  few  such  years  are 
worth  myriads  of  ages  of  monkish  slumber,  and  one  such  victory  as  Salamis  or  Bannockburn 
is  of  more  value  than  the  innumerable  triumphs  of  the  vulgar  herds  of  conquerors. — Lock- 
hart  :  Blackwood's  Magazine,  vol.  i..  No.  2. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  345 

After  all,  the  above  merely  ring  the  changes  upon  the  words  of  the  Psalmist, — 
For  a  day  in  thy  courts  is  better  than  a  thousand.     I  had  rather  be  a  doorkeeper  in  the 
house  of  my  God,  than  to  dwell  in  the  tents  of  wickedness. — Psalm  Ixxxiv.  lo. 

Another  turn  to  the  same  thought  has  been  given  by  Philip  James  Bailey  : 
We  live  in  deeds,  not  years  ;  in  thoughts,  not  breaths  ; 
In  feelings,  not  in  figures  on  a  dial. 
We  should  count  time  by  heart-throbs.     He  most  lives 
Who  thinks  most,  feels  the  noblest,  acts  the  best. 
Life's  but  a  means  unto  an  end  ;  that  end 
Beginning,  mean,  and  end  to  all  things, — God. 

Festus  :  Scene,  A  Country  Town. 

But  Bailey  in  his  turn  was  indebted  to  a  host  of  predecessors  : 
A  life  spent  worthily  should  be  measured  by  a  nobler  line, — by  deeds,  not  years. — Sheri- 
dan :  Pizarro,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  i. 

He  who  grown  aged  in  this  world  of  woe. 

In  deeds,  not  years,  piercing  the  depths  of  life. 

So  that  no  wonder  waits  him. 

Byron  :   Childe  Harold,  Canto  iii.,  stanza  5. 
Who  well  lives,  long  lives ;  for  this  age  of  ours 
Should  not  be  numbered  by  years,  dales,  and  hours. 

Du  Bartas  :  Days  and  IVeekes,  Fourth  Day,  Book  ii. 

Every  one  for  himself,  and  the  devil  catch  the  hindmost.  There 
is  an  ancient  Spanish  legend  that  the  devil  had  a  school  of  magic  at  Toledo. 
At  the  close  of  the  term  the  graduating  class  were  made  to  run  through  a 
subterranean  hall,  the  venerable  president  being  entitled  to  the  hindmost  if 
he  could  catch  him.  It  was  added  that  as  the  hindmost  had  the  benefit  of  a 
post-graduate  course  he  turned  out  the  best  magician.  But  his  soul  was 
hopelessly  forfeit.  This  may  be  the  origin  of  the  proverb,  which  is  found 
widely  diffused  over  Europe.  In  Cervantes,  however,  and  in  Haywood  the 
proverb  appears,  "  Every  man  for  himself,  and  God  for  us  all."  The  earliest 
appearance  in  English  literature  of  the  now  common  form  seems  to  be  in 
Burton's  "Anatomy  of  Melancholy,"  Part  iii.,  Sec.  i,  Mem.  iii.  : 
Every  man  for  himself,  his  own  ends,  the  devil  for  all. 

Everybody's  business  is  nobody's  business.     The  maxim  is  quoted 

by  Izaak  Walton, — as  belonging  to  another  : 

I  remember  that  a  wise  friend  of  mine  did  usually  say.  That  which  is  everybody's  business 
is  nobody's  business. — Complete  Angler,  Part  I.,  eh.  ii. 

It  is  not  unlikely  that  the  friend  had  in  mind  the  phrase  of  Horace, — 
Aliena  negotia  euro, 
Excussus  propriis. 
("  1  take  care  of  other  people's  business,  having  lost  my  own.") 

A  famous  Latin  proverb,  "  Dominum  videre  plurimum  in  rebus  suis"  ("The 
master  looks  most  sharply  after  his  own  affairs"),  enforces  the  same  moral. 
Similar  admonitions  were  known  to  the  Greeks.  "The  answers  of  Perses 
and  Libys  are  worth  observing,"  says  Aristotle  :  "  the  former,  being  asked 
what  was  the  best  thing  to  make  a  horse  fat,  answered,  'The  master's  eye^;' 
the  other,  being  asked  what  was  the  best  manure,  answered,  '  The  master's 
footsteps.'  "  Aulus  Gellius  tells  a  story  of  a  man  who,  being  asked  why  he 
was  so  fat,  and  the  horse  he  rode  so  lean,  answered,  "  Because  I  feed  myself, 
and  my  servant  feeds  my  horse."  Proverbs  of  a  similar  sort  abound  in  every 
country : 

Self  do,  self  have. — English. 

The  master's  eye  will  do  more  than  both  his  hands. 

When  the  cat's  away  the  mice  will  play. 

Let  him  that  has  a  mouth  not  say  to  another,  'RXov^ .—Spanish. 


346  HANDY-BGOK  OF 

The  master  bids  the  man,  and  the  man  bids  the  cat,  and  the  cat  bids  its  tail. — Portuguese. 

Self's  the  man. — Dutch. 

Let  every  fox  take  care  of  his  own  tail. — Italian. 

Everything  is  lovely  and  the  goose  hangs  high,  an  expression  com- 
mon in  the  Soutliern  States,  whicli  seems  to  have  originated  among  the  ne- 
groes. Hangs  is  probably  a  corruption  for  honlcs,  the  latter  word  being  an 
onomatopoetic  reproduction  of  the  cry  of  the  wild  goose,  which  files  high  on 
clear  days.  Another  but  less  likely  explanation  is  that  "  befo'  de  wah"  a  goose 
used  to  be  hung  to  a  tree  at  Southern  gatherings  so  high  that  a  man  on  horse- 
back could  barely  touch  it ;  the  riders  would  rush  by  and  grab  at  the  bird's 
neck.  Still  a  third  explanation,  but  one  which  bears  all  the  marks  of  manu- 
facture after  the  event,  tells  a  story  of  an  old  negress  who,  in  her  husband's 
absence,  tidied  up  the  house  and  hung  his  picture  high  on  the  wall.  When 
he  came  back  he  remarked  that  all  was  lovely,  and  the  wife  ended  the  remark 
by  saying  that  "the  goose  hangs  high."  But  the  humor  of  the  addition  is 
enhanced  if  the  wife  were  quoting  a  popular  saw. 

Evil  Eye,  the  superstition  that  certain  persons  have  a  blighting  or  malig- 
nant eye  which  deals  death  or  ill  luck  upon  the  by-stander.  Under  various 
other  names,  such  as  overlooking  eye,  biting  fascination,  this  superstition  sur- 
vives locally  in  Great  Britain  and  many  portions  of  Europe,  and  under  the 
alternative  name  ol  jettatura  flourisiies  with  extraordinary  vigor  and  tenacity 
in  Italy.  It  is  one  of  the  most  ancient  of  myths.  The  Greeks  knew  it  under 
the  name  of  jiaaKavia,  the  Romans  under  that  ol  fascinum.  To  Greeks  and 
Romans  alike  it  came  from  the  mysterious  East.  Solomon  refers  to  it  in  the 
Book  of  Wisdom. 

Aristotle  speaks  of  a  Thessalian  female  who  attracted  a  poisonous  serpent 
within  a  magical  circle  drawn  round  her,  when  it  instantly  became  lifeless. 
The  faculties  of  the  Psylli,  or  charmers,  enjoy  great  repute  even  in  our  own 
times.  Plutarch  engages  in  a  question  "  concerning  those  who  are  said  to 
fascinate,"  and  concludes  by  allowing  the  existence  of  such  a  power.  "It  is 
known,"  says  he,  "  that  friends  and  servants  have  fascinating  eyes  ;  and  even 
fathers,  to  whose  protracted  gaze  mothers  will  not  expose  their  children." 
Pliny  relates  that  one  Caius  Furius  Cresinus,  a  freedman,  having  been  very 
successful  in  cultivating  his  farms,  became  an  object  of  envy,  and  was  publicly 
accused  of  poisoning,  by  arts  of  fascination,  his  neighbors'  fruit ;  whereupon 
he  brought  into  the  Forum  his  daughter,  ploughs,  tools,  and  oxen,  and, 
pointing  to  them,  said,  "  These  which  I  have  brought,  and  my  labor,  sweat, 
watching,  and  care  (svhich  I  cannot  bring),  are  all  my  arts."  Pliny  also  relates 
as  an  occurrence  in  his  own  time  that  a  whole  olive-orchard  belonging  to  a 
certain  Vectius  Marcellus,  a  Roman  knight,  crossed  over  the  public  way  and 
took  its  place,  ground  and  all,  on  the  other  side.  This  same  fact  is  also 
alluded  to  by  Virgil,  in  his  Eighth  Eclogue,  on  Pharmaceutria  (all  of  which, 
by  the  way,  he  stole  from  Theocritus)  : 

Atque  satas  alio  vidi  traducere  messes. 

Indeed,  nearly  all  the  old  writers  agree  in  recognizing  the  existence  of  the 
faculty  of  fascination  ;  and  among  the  Romans  it  was  so  universally  admitted 
that  in  the  "  Decemvirales  Tabulae"  there  was  a  law  prohibiting  the  exercise 
of  it,  under  a  capital  penalty,  "  Ne  pelliciunto  alienas  segetes,  excantando, 
ne  incantando  ;  ne  agrum  defraudanto."  Some  jurisconsults  skilled  in  the 
ancient  law  say  that  boys  are  sometimes  fascinated  by  the  burning  eyes  of  . 
these  infected  men  so  as  to  lose  all  their  health  and  strength. 

"  Now,"  says  the  worthy  Vairus,  who  has  written  an  elaborate  treatise  on 
this  subject  in  Latin,  well  worthy  to  be  examined,  "  let  no  man  laugh  at  these 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  347 

stories  as  old  wives'  tales,  nor,  because  the  reason  passes  our  knowledge,  let 
us  turn  them  into  ridicule,  for  infinite  are  the  things  which  we  cannot  under- 
stand ;  but,  rather  than  turn  all  miracles  out  of  Nature  because  we  cannot 
understand  them,  let  us  make  that  fact  the  beginning  and  reason  of  investiga- 
tion. For  does  not  Solomon  in  his  Book  of  Wisdom  say,  '  Fascinatio  malig- 
nitatis  obscurat  bona'  ?  and  does  not  Uominus  Paulus  cry  out  to  the  Galatians, 
'O  insensati  Galatae,  quis  vos  fascinavit'?  which  the  best  interpreters  admit 
to  refer  to  those  whose  burning  eyes  with  a  single  look  blast  all  persons,  and 
especially  boys." 

The  ancients  seem  to  have  thought  the  evil  eye  belonged  to  an  evil  nature 
and  was  the  especial  adjunct  of  envy.  And  something  of  this  same  impres- 
sion still  survives.  Even  at  this  day,  in  the  Levant,  passengers  are  invited  by 
the  lowest  of  the  people  to  partake  of  their  fare,  lest  they  be  "  observed  by  a 
hungry  man  who  envies  the  morsel."  Formerly  infants  were  considered  very 
sensible  of  the  "irradiations  of  the  eyes."  They  were  reluctantly  submitted 
to  the  gaze  of  strangers ;  and  in  Spain  an  invocation  of  the  Deity  was  em- 
ployed to  avert  the  consequences.  At  present,  in  the  Spanish  colonies,  a 
similar  prayer  follows  the  commendation  of  a  child,  or  of  a  young  animal ; 
and  there  also  a  widow  is  apt  to  ascribe  the  loss  of  her  husband  to  the  evil 
eye  of  one  of  her  own  sex.  In  Egypt  the  livid  hue,  the  yellow  skin,  and  the 
emaciated  frame  of  a  sickly  child  are  by  the  mother  usually  ascribed  to  an  evil 
eye.  In  the  northern  parts  of  Africa,  too,  the  natives  dread  an  expression  of 
admiration  when  directed  to  any  of  their  family,  or  even  to  any  valuable  article, 
whether  animate  or  inanimate.  At  Tripoli  the  death  of  an  infant  was  attrib- 
uted to  the  steadfast  gaze  of  a  stranger  who  was  struck  with  its  beauty  as  it 
lay  in  the  cradle.  No  Christian  in  those  parts  is  permitted  to  embrace,  or 
even  to  look  upon,  a  babe. 

In  Italy  the  superstition  is  rampant.  To  praise  anything  means  to  admire 
it,  to  admire  is  to  covet,  to  covet  is  to  excite  the  latent  powers  of  evil  that  may 
reside  in  your  eye.  A  person  who  should  wander  through  Italy,  and  especially 
through  Southern  Italy,  praising  all  he  saw,  would  soon  come  to  be  considered 
the  most  malevolent  of  men. 

The  well-known  habit  of  Neapolitans  to  offer  a  guest  anything  that  he  may 
praise  has  probably  the  same  origin.  It  is,  of  course,  now,  to  a  very  large 
extent,  only  a  form  of  courtesy  ;  but  even  now  another  feeling  lurks  behind,  at 
least  in  a  good  many  cases.  Your  host  has  been  delighted  by  your  admiration 
of  his  possessions  ;  he  would  have  been  disappointed  if  it  had  not  been  so 
warmly  expressed  as  it  was;  but  still  he  is  a  little  afraid  of  the  ill  luck  the 
kind  things  you  have  said  may  bring.  By  offering  the  objects  you  have  liked 
best  to  yon,  and  receiving  your  certain  refusal  to  accept  them,  he  puts  them  in 
a  bad  light,  and  thus  counteracts  the  evil  effects  of  your  praise.  He  says  to 
fate.  You  see,  their  value  is  not  great,  after  all. 

The  same  apprehensions  are  held  by  the  Jews,  Greeks,  and  Turks  who 
possess  the  several  islands  of  the  Archipelago.  When  the  goodness  or  beauty 
of  any  object  is  commended,  it  is  incumbent  to  add,  "  God  preserve  it ;"  and 
the  Greeks  are  further  accustomed  to  blow  a  little  saliva  upon  it,  by  way  of  an 
antidote. 

Yet,  as  a  rule,  the  evil  eye  is  not  held  to  be  allied  to  any  malignancy  of 
character.  It  is  a  misfortune,  not  a  fault.  The  most  excellent  people  are 
born  with  this  baleful  influence,  and  exert  it  against  their  will,  or  even  without 
their  consciousness. 

Shortly  after  his  election,  Pius  IX.,  who  was  then  adored  by  the  Romans, 
and  perhaps  the  best-loved  man  in  Italy,  was  driving  through  the  streets,  when 
he  happened  to  glance  upward  at  an  open  window  at  which  a  nurse  was 
standing  with  a  child.     A  few  minutes  afterward  the  nurse  let  the  child  drop 


348  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

and  it  was  killed.  No  one  thought  the  Pope  had  wished  this,  but  the  fancy 
that  he  had  the  evil  eye  became  universal,  and  lasted  till  his  death. 

Evil  is  -wrought  by  -want  of  thought.  In  Hood's  "  Lady's  Dream" 
occur  the  lines, — 

But  evil  is  wrought  by  want  of  thought 
As  well  as  want  of  heart ; 

which  had  been  anticipated  by  his  contemporary,  Charles  Swain  (best  known 
as  the  author  of  the  stately  verses  on  Dryburgh  Abbey)  in  his  poem  "  Want 
of  Thought :" 

Time  to  me  this  truth  has  taught 

('Tis  a  treasure  worth  revealing), 
More  offend  by  want  of  thought 
Than  from  any  want  of  feeling. 

Evil  that  men  do  lives  after  them.    Shakespeare  makes  Mark  Antony 
begin  his  famous  speech  over  the  body  of  Caesar  with  the  following  words : 
Friends,  Romans,  countrymen,  lend  me  your  ears; 
I  come  to  bury  Csesar,  not  to  praise  him. 
The  evil  that  men  do  lives  after  them  ; 
The  good  is  oft  interred  with  their  bones. 

Act  iii.,  Sc.  I. 

Elsewhere  he  has  the  same  idea  in  other  words  : 

Men's  evil  manners  live  in  brass ;  their  virtues 
We  write  in  water  ; 

Henry  VIII.,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  i ; 

which  finds  numerous  parallels, — e.g. : 

For  men  use,  if  they  have  an  evil  toume,  to  write  it  in  marble  ;  and  whoso  doth  us  a  good 
toume  we  write  it  in  duste. — Sir  Thomas  More  :  Richard  III.  and  his  miserable  End. 

All  your  better  deeds 
Shall  be  in  water  writ,  but  this  in  marble. 

Beaumont  and  Fletcher  :  Philaster ,  Act  v.,  Sc.  3. 

L'injure  se  grave  en  metal ;  et  le  bienfait  s'escrit  en  I'onde. 
("  An  injury  graves  itself  in  metal,  but  a  benefit  wTites  itself  in  water.") 
Jean  Bertaut,  circa  1611. 

The  central  idea  is  also  contained  in  the  following  : 

The  aspiring  youth  that  fired  the  Ephesian  dome 
Outlives  in  fame  the  pious  fool  that  raised  it. 

CoLLEY  CiEEER  :  Richard  III.  (altered),  Act  iii.,  Sc.  i. 

Herostratus  lives  that  burnt  the  temple  of  Diana ;  he  is  almost  lost  that  built  it.— Sir 
Thomas  Browne  :  Urn-Burial,  ch.  v. 

Per  contra,  there  was  right  and  kindly  feeling  in  the  old  maxim,  "  De  mor- 
tuis  nil  nisi  bonum"  ("  Of  the  dead  be  nothing  said  but  good").  This  senti- 
ment is  attributed  to  Chilo,  one  of  the  Seven  Wise  Men  of  Greece,  and  is 
known  to  us  chiefly  in  the  Latin  translation,  as  above,  given  in  the  life  of 
Chilo  by  Diogenes  Laertius  (Lives  atid  Opinions  of  Eminefit  Philosophers).  It 
was  undoubtedly  a  Greek  proverb,  and  its  teachings  were  incorporated  into 
Lacedaemonian  legislation.  "That  law  of  Solon's,"  says  Plutarch,  "is  justly 
commended  which  forbids  men  to  speak  ill  of  the  dead.  For  piety  requires 
us  to  consider  the  deceased  as  sacred  ;  justice  calls  upon  us  to  spare  those 
that  are  not  in  being  ;  and  good  policy  to  prevent  the  perpetuation  of  hatred." 
Thucydides  (ii.  45)  has  the  saying  in  a  slightly  modified  form  :  "  Every  one 
ought  to  praise  the  dead  ;"  and  Cicero,  "  A  good  name  is  the  possession  of  the 
dead"  ("  Bona  fama  possessio  defunctorum").  Voltaire  said  that  satire  lied 
about  literary  men  when  they  were  alive,  and  eulogies  lied  after  their  death. 

A  curious  contrast  to  the  Shakespearian  lines  first  quoted  is  found  in,— 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  349 

When  good  men  die  their  goodness  does  not  perish, 
But  hves  though  they  are  gone.     As  for  the  bad. 
All  that  was  theirs  dies  and  is  buried  with  them. 

Euripides  :  Temenidce,  frag.  734. 
Mimnermus,  the  Roman  tragedian,  whose  poetical  efforts  survive  only  in 
fragments,  has  given  a  satiric  turn  to  the  idea  : 

We  are  all  clever  enough  at  envying  a  famous  man  while  he  is  yet  alive,  and  at  praising 
him  when  he  is  dead. 

Evils.  Of  two  evils  choose  the  least,  a  proverb  common  to  most 
modern  languages,  and  finding  an  earlier  expression  in  classic  authors.  Yet 
authorities  also  recognize  that  where  there  is  a  choice  of  evils  human  stupid- 
ity will  usually  stumble  against  the  greatest.  "  He  that  has  a  choice  has 
trouble,"  say  the  Dutch,  and  the  French,  "  He  that  chooses  takes  the  worst," 
which  are  nearly  equivalent  to  the  English  phrase  "Pick  and  choose  and  take 
the  worst."  An  American  story  in  point  is  told  of  the  traveller  who,  inquiring 
the^way,  was  informed  that  there  were  two  roads,  one  long  and  one  short,  but 
it  niattered  not  which  he  took  ;  "  you  won't  have  gone  far  before  you  will  regret 
that  you  hadn't  taken  the  other." 

Of  two  evils  I  have  chose  the  least. 

Prior  :  Imitation  of  Horace. 

E  duobus  malis  minimum  eligendum  ("  Of  two  evils,  the  least  should  be  chosen"). — Cicero  : 
De  Officiis,  iii.  i. 

Of  two  evils,  the  less  is  always  to  be  chosen.— Thomas  a  Kempis  :  Imitation  of  Christ, 
Book  iii.,  ch.  xii. 

Of  harmes  two  the  lesse  is  for  to  cheese. 

Chaucbr  :   Troilus  and  Creseide,  Book  ii.,  line  470. 
There's  small  choice  in  rotten  apples. — Shakespeare  :   Taming  of  the  Shrew. 
One  persuaded  his  friend  to  marry  a  little  woman,  because  of  evils  the  least  was  to  be 
chosen. —  Conceits,  Clinches,  etc.  (1639). 

Ex  uihilo  nihil  fit  (L.,  "Out  of  nothing,  nothing  is  made").  This  saying 
is  found  in  Marcus  Aurelius  {Aleditations,  iv.  4).  Diogenes  Laertius,  in  his 
life  of  Diogenes  of  Apollonia,  ascribes  it  to  the  latter  philosopher.  Lucre- 
tius came  very  close  to  the  expression  in 

Nihil  igitur 
Fieri  de  nihilo  posse,  fatendum  est. 

De  Rerum  Natiira,  i.  206. 
Certainly  it  sums  up  his  physical  theory,  which  is  that  nothing  was  created. 

Shakespeare,  in  "  King  Lear"  (Act  i.,  Sc.  i),  makes  the  king  warn  his  daughter 
Cordelia,  when  she  can  offer  nothing  in  the  way  of  protested  affection, — 
Nothing  will  come  of  nothing. 

Ex  pede  Herculem  (L.,  "From  the  foot,  Hercules").  Plutarch  tells  us 
that  Pythagoras  ingeniously  calculated  the  height  of  Hercules  by  comparing 
the  length  of  various  stadia  in  Greece.  A  stadium  was  six  hundred  feet  in 
length,  but  Hercules's  stadium  at  Olympia  was  much  longer.  Now,  said  the 
philosopher,  as  the  stadium  of  Olympia  is  longer  than  an  ordinary  stadium, 
so  the  foot  of  Hercules  was  longer  than  an  ordinary  foot ;  and  as  the  foot 
bears  a  certain  ratio  to  the  height,  so  the  height  of  Hercules  can  be  easily 
ascertained. 

That  was  an  exceedingly  dull  person  who  made  the  remark,  Ex  pede  Herculem.  He 
might  as  well  have  said,  "  From  a  peck  of  apples  you  may  judge  of  the  barrel."  "  Ex  pede," 
to  be  sure  I  Read,  instead,  "  Ex  ungue  minimi  digiti  pedis  Herculem,  ejusque  patrem,  ma- 
trem,  avos  et  proavos,  fiiios,  nepotes  et  pronepotes  !"  Talk  to  me  about  your  66s  ■nov  vtCi  I 
Tell  me  about  Cuvier's  getting  up  a  megatherium  fi-om  a  tooth,  or  Agassiz's  drawing  a  por- 
trait of  an  undiscovered  fish  from  a  single  scale  !  As  the  "  O"  revealed  Giotto, — as  the  one 
word  "  moi"  revealed  the  Stratford-atte-Bowe-taught  Anglais,— so  all  a  man's  antecedents 
and  possibilities  are  summed  up  in  a  single  utterance  which  gives  at  once  the  gauge  of  his 
education  and  his  mental  organization. — Holmes  :  Autocrat  of  the  Breakfast-Table,  ch.  v. 


350  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Excelsior  (L., "  Higher"),  the  motto  of  New  York  State,  which  is  hence 
sometimes  called  the  "  Excelsior  State." 

And  from  the  sky  serene  and  far 
A  voice  fell  like  a  falling  star. 
Excelsior ! 

Longfellow  :  Excelsior. 

Longfellow's  use  of  the  word  as  an  interjection  or  an  imperative  is  not  war- 
ranted by  the  genius  of  the  Latin  language. 

Exception  proves  the  rule.  In  this  proverbial  saying  the  word  prove 
may  be  used  in  its  ancient  sense  of  test.  Thus,  St.  Paul  says,  "  Prove  all 
things,"  etc.,  which  means  that  we  should  test  all  things,  so  as  to  know  which 
good  ones  to  "  hold  fast"  to.  An  exception  cannot  prove  a  rule  in  the  modern 
sense,  it  tends  rather  to  render  it  invalid  ;  but  an  exception  may  test  n  rule,  and 
in  some  cases  prove  it  to  be  wrong,  whilst  in  others  the  test  may  show  that 
the  so-called  exception  may  be  explained.  The  alternative  explanation,  that 
the  very  word  exception  implies  there  is  a  rule,  so  that  the  word  prove  means 
proves  the  existence  of,  is  ingenious,  but  hardly  so  satisfying  as  the  other. 

Excuses.  The  French  say,  "  Qui  s'excuse,  s'accuse"  ("  Who  excuses  him- 
self, accuses  himself"), — a  proverb  which  may  be  found  as  far  back  as  the 
"Tresor  des  Sentences,"  by  Gabriel  Meurier  (i 530-1601). 

And  oftentimes  excusing  of  a  fault 

Doth  make  the  fault  the  worse  by  the  excuse. 

Shakespeare:  Kitigjohn,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  2. 

Experience  keeps  a  dear  school,  but  fools  will  learn  in  no  other. 

This  proverb,  which  in  its  English  dress  is  taken  from  Franklin's  "Poor 
Richard's  Almanack"  for  1743,  can  boast  of  a  hoary  antiquity.  It  is  found  in 
Livy,  in  pretty  nearly  the  form  in  which  Franklin  has  it :  "  Stultorum  eventus 
magister  est"  ("  Experience  is  the  teacher  of  fools").  A  shorter  Latin  prov- 
erb ran,  "Experientia  docet"  ("  Experience  teaches"),  and  Pliny  speaks  of 
"the  excellent  school-master  experience"  {Epistles,  I.,  xx.  12).  "Credite  ex- 
perto"  {"  Believe  one  who  has  had  experience"),  says  Virgil  (ALneid,  Book  xi., 
1.  2S3),  in  an  oft-quoted  phrase,  though  in  quotation  a  slight  change  is  usually 
made  to  "  Experto  crede."  Another  well-worn  proverb  of  the  ancients  was 
"  Happy  he  who  is  made  wary  by  others'  perils,"  which  is  more  neatly  para- 
phrased in  modern  proverbial  literature  as  "  Wise  men  learn  by  others'  harms, 
fools  by  their  own." 

The  saying  of  Publius  Syrus,  "  Unfairly  does  he  blame  Neptune  who  suffers 
shipwreck  a  second  time,"  has  numerous  modern  analogues.  An  excellent 
one  is  the  English  "  Wit  once  bought  is  worth  twice  taught,"  and  all  that 
cycle  which  in  English  is  represented  by  "  A  burnt  child  fears  the  fire"  (q.  v.), 
and  by  this  line  of  Shakespeare  : 

What  I  wouldst  thou  have  a  serpent  sting  thee  twice? 

Merchant  0/  Venice,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  5. 

Other  proverbs  relating  to  the  same  subject  are  : 

He  that  will  not  he  ruled  by  the  rudder  must  be  ruled  by  the  rock. — Cornish. 

Old  birds  are  not  to  be  caught  with  ii\isM.— English. 

Bought  wit  is  best. 

It  is  a  silly  fish  that  is  caught  twice  with  the  same  bait. 

The  French  have  a  humorous  equivalent  for  the  latter  proverb,  growing  out 
of  the  following  story.  A  young  rustic  told  his  priest  at  confession  that  he 
had  broken  down  a  neighbor's  hedge  to  get  at  a  blackbird's  nest.  The 
priest  asked  if  he  had  taken  away  the  young  birds.  "No,"  said  he;  "  they 
were  hardly  grown  enough.     I  will  let  them  alone  until  Saturday  evening." 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  35 1 

No  more  was  said  on  the  subject ;  but  when  Saturday  evening  came  the  young 
fellow  found  the  nest  empty,  and  readily  guessed  who  it  was  that  had  fore- 
stalled him.  The  next  time  he  went  to  confession  he  had  to  tell  something  in 
which  a  young  girl  was  partly  concerned.  "  Oh  !"  said  his  ghostly  father  ; 
"  how  old  is  she  ?"  "  Seventeen."  "  Good-looking  ?"  "  The  prettiest  girl  in 
the  village."  "  What  is  her  name  ?  Where  does  she  live  ?"  the  confessor 
hastily  inquired  ;  and  then  he  got  for  an  answer  the  phrase  which  has  passed 
into  a  proverb,  "  A  d'autres,  denicheur  de  merles  !"  which  may  be  para- 
phrased, "  Try  that  upon  somebody  else,  Mr.  filcher  of  blackbirds." 

Extremes  meet,  a  proverb  found  in  all  languages.  Coleridge  rightly 
says  that  to  collect  and  explain  all  the  instances  and  exemplifications  of  its 
use  "  would  constitute  and  exhaust  all  philosophy."  The  saying  contains  the 
germ  thought  of  innumerable  famous  sayings  in  proverbial  and  general  liter- 
ature. "  From  the  sublime  to  the  ridiculous,"  "  In  the  midst  of  life  we  are 
in  death,"  "Great  wits  are  sure  to  madness  near  allied,"  "The  darkest  hour 
is  just  before  the  dawn,"  "  When  unadorned,  adorned  the  most,"  "  Discord  a 
harmony  not  understood,"  "Pleasure-pain,"  "Bitter-sweet,"  "Too  far  east  is 
west," — what  are  all  these,  save  different  renderings  of  the  same  thought? 
Here  are  a  few  more  instances,  selected  almost  at  random : 

Extremes  in  Nature  equal  ends  produce. 
And  oft  so  mix  the  difference  is  too  nice, 
Where  ends  the  virtue  or  begins  the  vice. 

Pope. 

Dark  with  excessive  bright  thy  skirts  appear. 

Milton  :  Paradise  Lost,  Book  iii. 

Such  huge  extremes  inhabit  thy  great  mind. 
Godlike,  unmoved — and  yet,  like  woman,  kind. 
Waller. 

The  way  to  rest  is  pain  ; 
The  road  to  resolution  Hes  by  doubt  ; 
The  next  way  home's  the  farthest  way  about. 
QuARLES :  Etnblems. 

The  glorious  lamp  of  heaven,  tha  sun, 

The  higher  he's  a-getting, 
The  sooner  will  his  race  be  run. 

And  nearer  he's  to  setting. 

Herrick. 

The  more  one  loves  a  mistress,  the  nearer  one  comes  to  hating  her. — La  Rochefoucauld  : 
Maxims. 

Tout  ^tat  qui  brille  est  sur  son  declin  ("  Every  state  that  shines  is  on  its  decline"). — 
Rousseau. 

Wit,  like  tierce  claret,  when't  begins  to  pall, 
Neglected  lies,  and  's  of  no  use  at  all. 
But  in  its  full  perfection  of  decay 
Turns  vinegar,  and  comes  again  in  play. 

Rochester. 

The  extremes  of  glory  and  of  shame. 
Like  east  and  west,  become  the  same  : 
No  Indian  prince  has  to  his  palace 
More  followers  than  a  thief  to  the  gallows. 

Butler  :  Hudibras, 

There's  but  the  twinkling  of  a  star 
Between  a  man  of  peace  and  war ; 
A  thief  and  justice,  fool  and  knave; 
A  huffing  officer  and  a  slave, 
A  crafty  lawyer  and  pickpocket, 
A  great  philosopher  and  blockhead. 


352  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

A  formal  preacher  and  a  player, 
A  learned  physician  and  manslayer  ; 
As  wind  in  th'  hypocondries  pent 
Is  but  a  blast  if  downward  sent, 
But  if  it  upwards  chance  to  fly, 
Becomes  new  light  and  prophecy. 

Butler  :  Hudibras. 

But  enough  of  this.  Once  started,  quotations  are  interminable.  Indeed,  it 
might  be  said  that  all  wisdom  and  all  wit  consist  in  the  meeting  of  extremes, 
— in  the  real  reconciliation  of  apparent  irreconcilables,  which  is  wisdom,  and 
in  the  apparent  reconciliation  of  real  irreconcilables,  which  is  wit. 

Eye.  All  my  eye.  This  slang  term  for  fudge,  nonsense,  with  its  pendant, 
"  All  my  eye  and  Betty  Martin,"  has  proved  a  fruitful  field  for  etymological  con- 
jecture. Some  would  derive  it  from  the  Welsh  al  mihivy,  "  it  is  very  tedious." 
Others,  looking  upon  "  All  my  eye  and  Betty  Martin"  as  the  original  phrase, 
consider  it  a  corruption  of  "  Ah  mihi  beate  Martini  !"  ("  Ah  !  [grant]  me, 
blessed  Martin  !")  "  Joe  Miller"  is  cited  in  evidence.  That  authority  tells  the 
story  of  a  sailor,  who,  having  been  attracted  by  the  music  into  a  Catholic 
church,  was  subsequently  asked  how  he  liked  the  service.  He  replied  that 
he  supposed  it  was  all  very  fine,  but  he  had  not  understood  any  of  it  except 
something  about  "all  my  eye  and  Betty  Martin."  Unfortunately,  there  is  no 
such  Latin  formulary  in  the  Catholic  Church.  Still  another  story,  having  all 
the  marks  of  an  invention  after  the  fact,  affirms  that  Betty  Martin,  a  gypsy 
woman  in  Shrewsbury,  gave  a  black  eye  to  a  constable,  who  was  chaffed 
accordingly.  In  truth,  there  seems  little  mystery  about  the  origin  of  the 
phrase  "all  my  eye."  It  is  but  a  humorous  extension  of  the  locution  "to 
have  in  one's  eye," — i.e.,  to  have  in  mind,  to  have  in  contemplation.  All  in 
one's  eye,  therefore,  meant  that  it  was  all  in  the  mind  and  would  never  take 
form  in  action;  that  it  was  seeming, — apparent,  but  not  real.  The  French 
have  an  analogous  phrase,  "  Mon  oeil,"  accompanied  by  a  knowing  wink  and  a 
significant  gesture  as  an  invitation  to  inspect  the  organ.  But  when,  where, 
or  why  the  name  "  Betty  Martin"  was  added  to  the  phrase  is  an  insoluble 
mystery. 

The  witty  allusions  of  two  famous  men  to  this  slang  phrase  may  be  added  to  the  general 
account  of  it.  The  first  is  in  two  lines  from  a  burlesque  on  the  Egoismus  of  Fichte's  philoso- 
phy, found  in  Coleridge's  Biographia  Literaria  : 

All  my  I !  All  my  I  ; 
He's  a  heretic  dog  who  but  adds  Betty  Martin. 

The  other  is  Macaulay's  reply,  reported  by  Lady  Chatterton  to  Rogers,  when  asked  what  he 
thought  of  Harriet  Martineau's  mesmeric  ciu-es  :  "  Oh  1  it's  all  my  eye  and  Hetty  Martineau." 
— American  Notes  and  Qu 


The  tenderness  of  spring  is  all  my  eye. 
And  that  is  blighted. 

Hood  :  Spring: 

I've  lost  one  eye,  but  thet's  a  loss  it's  easy  to  supply 
Out  o'  the  glory  thet  I've  gut,  fer  thet  is  all  my  eye  ; 
An'  one  is  big  enough,  I  guess,  by  diligently  usin'  it. 
To  see  all  I  shall  ever  git  by  way  o'  pay  for  losin'  it. 

Lowell  :  Biglow  Papers,  first  series,  viii. 

Eye.  To  see  ■with  half  an  eye.  This  expression  is  found  in  Jeremy 
Taylor,  "  But  half  an  eye  may  see  the  different  accounts"  (vol.  ix.  p.  386, 
Edin.  ed.),  and  a  still  earlier  use  has  been  pointed  out  in  Hugo  van  Linscho- 
ten's  "Discours  of  Voyages  into  ye  Easte  and  West  Indies"  (159S)  :  "There 
is  much  counterfeit  money  abroad,  which  is  hard  to  be  knowne  from  the  good, 
were  it  not  for  these  Karaffos,  which  can  discern  it  with  half  an  eye."  (Ed. 
1864,  page  190.) 


LITER  A  R  V  CURIOSITIES.  353 


F. 

F,  the  sixth  letter  and  fourth  consonant  in  the  English,  as  in  the  Latin  and 
the  Phoenician  and  even  in  the  early  Greek  alphabet,  whence  the  Latin  was 
derived  from  the  Phoenician.  But  in  the  later  Greek  alphabet  as  we  know  it 
the  letter  has  gone  out  of  use.  The  Phoenician  character  had  the  name  vav  ox 
zvazv  (a  "  peg"  or  "  hook"),  and  its  form  was  an  adaptation  of  the  hieroglyphic 
picture  of  the  cerastes,  or  horned  Egyptian  asp,  its  value  being  approximately 
that  of  the  English  w.  As  this  sound  gradually  went  out  of  use  in  Greek, 
the  symbol  known  as  the  digamma,  or  double  gamma,  followed  it.  In  the 
alphabet  adapted  to  Latin  use,  our  moderny  sound  was  given  to  it,  the  w 
being  written  with  the  same  character  as  the  u.  They"  sound  in  Greek  was 
conveyed  by  the  symbol  0,  and  in  words  derived  from  the  Greek  the  English 
spelling  usually  substitutes//^  for/  as  in  philosophy,  etc. 

Face.  All  my  body  is  face.  It  is  often  asserted  that  a  Greek  philos- 
opher made  this  answer  to  one  who  marvelled  at  his  going  naked  or  scantily 
clad  in  inclement  weather.  But  the  phrase,  in  fact,  was  invented  by  Montaigne. 
"  I  know  not,"  he  says,  in  his  "  Essay  on  the  Custom  of  Wearing  Clothes,"  "  I 
know  not  who  would  ask  a  beggar  whom  he  should  see  in  his  shirt  in  the 
depth  of  winter,  as  brisk  and  frolic  as  he  who  goes  muffled  up  to  the  ears  in 
furs,  how  he  is  able  to  endure  to  go  so.  'Why,  sir,'  he  might  answer,  'you 
go  with  your  face  bare,  and  I  am  all  face.'  "  The  beggar,  it  will  be  seen,  is  a 
purely  imaginary  being.  But  the  world  loves  a  concrete  personality  on  whom 
to  father  famous  sayings.  So  early  as  the  time  of  Fuller  the  imaginary  being 
had  become  a  reality  :  "  The  beggar  who  being  demanded  how  he  could  go 
naked,  returned, '  All  my  body  is  face.'  "  (  Worthies:  Berkshire,  p.  82,  published 
in  1662.)  The  transition  to  the  more  august  and  authoritative  "  Greek  philos- 
opher" is  only  in  the  natural  order  of  things. 

Face,  Outface,  or  Face  it  out,  an  old  verb,  still  extant,  meaning  to  bully, 
to  browbeat,  to  bluff,  and,  like  the  latter  term,  connected  with  cards.  It  ex- 
pressed the  confident  audacity  of  a  player  who,  in  primero  or  some  other  game, 
boldly  stood  upon  a  ten,  and  bluffed  an  adversary  who  really  had  a  face  card 
against  him. 

First  pyck  a  quarrel  and  fall  out  with  him  then. 
And  so  outface  him  with  a  card  of  ten. 

Skelton  :  quoted  by  Nares,  Glossary. 

A  vengeance  on  your  crafty,  withered  hide, 
Yet  I  have  faced  it  with  a  card  of  ten. 

Shakespeare  :   Taviing  of  the  Shrew,  Act  ii. 

The  original  signification  of  the  phrase  being  lost,  its  apparent  connection 
with  face  in  the  modern  sense  of  cheek  slightly  extended  and  modified  its 
meaning,  though  with  no  damage  to  its  integrity  : 

I  that  had  face  enough  to  do  the  deed 
Cannot  want  tongue  to  speak  it. 

MiDDLETON  :  A  Fair  Quarrel,  1617. 

Face  the  Music,  a  proverbial  phrase  probably  derived  from  the  stage, 
where  it  is  used  by  actors  in  the  greenroom  when  preparing  to  go  on  the 
boards  to  literally  face  the  music.  Another  explanation  traces  it  to  militia- 
muster,  where  every  man  is  expected  to  appear  fully  equipped  and  armed, 
when  in  rank  and  file,  facing  the  music. 
30* 


354  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Faces,  A  sea  of  upturned.  Webster  made  use  of  this  figure  of  speech, 
in  Faneuil  Hall,  September  30,  1S42,  beginning  an  address  with  the  words, 
"  In  this  sea  of  upturned  faces  there  is  something  which  excites  me  strangely, 
deeply,  before  I  even  begin  to  speak."  The  figure  was  no  doubt  quoted  from 
"Rob  Roy,"  in  which  the  identical  collocation  of  words  occurs: 

I  next  strained  my  eyes,  with  equally  bad  success,  to  see  if,  among  the  sea  of  upturned 
faces  which  bent  their  eyes  on  the  pulpit  as  a  common  centre,  I  could  discover  the  sober  and 
business-like  physiognomy  of  Owen. — Rob  Roy,  ch.  xx. 

The  parallelism  between  a  vast  silent  multitude  and  a  sea  is  drawn  by 
Coleridge  in  the  apostrophe  to  Mont  Blanc  : 

But  thou,  most  awful  Form  1 
Risest  from  forth  thy  silent  sea  of  pines. 
How  silently ! 

Hymn  in  the  Vale  of  Cham otini. 

And  possibly  the  orator  may  have  had  the  figure  in  mind,  and  felt  its  force, 
in  the  silence  that  preceded  his  speech.  The  upturned  face  and  rooted  atten- 
tion are  associated  in  the  lines  of  Moore  : 

It  seemed  as  if  each  thought  and  look 

And  motion  W'ere  that  minute  chained 
Fast  to  the  spot,  such  root  she  took, 
And — like  a  sunflower  by  a  brook. 

With  face  upturned — so  still  remained. 

Lozies  of  the  A  ngels  :  First  AngeFs  Story. 

Facile  princeps  ^2X.  facilis,  ''■  &2&y,^'' princeps,  "prince,  chief"),  easily  the 
first,  acknowledged  chief. 

Goethe,  the  greatest  literarj-  critic  that  ever  lived,  was  more  comprehensive  and  universally 
tolerant ;  but  De  Quincey  v.s.s  facile  princeps,  to  the  extent  of  his  touch,  among  the  English 
critics  of  his  generation.— D.  Masson  :  Life  of  De  Quincey,  p.  180. 

Chapman  speaks  of  one  of  his  princely  Greek  heroes  thus : 
So  facilie  he  bore 
His  royall  person. 

Iliad,  xxiu. 

But  this  has  nothing  to  do  with  the  case. 

Facilis  descensus  Averni  ("The  descent  of  Avernus  is  easy"). — Virgil: 
ALneid,  vi.  126.  Some  ancient  manuscripts  read  "  Averno," — i.e.,  to,  and  not 
of,  Avernus. 

As  he  approached  the  entrance  to  that  den  of  infamy,  from  which  his  mind  recoiled  even 
while  in  the  act  of  taking  shelter  there,  his  pace  slackened,  while  the  steep  and  broken  stairs 
reminded  him  of  \}cie.  facilis  descensus  Averni,  and  rendered  him  doubtful  whether  it  were  not 
better  to  brave  the  worst  which  could  befall  him  in  the  public  haunts  of  honorable  men  than 
to  evade  punishment  by  secluding  himself  to  those  of  vice  and  profligacy.— Scott  :  The 
Fottunes  of  Nigel,  ch.  xvi. 

Thus  he  will  inevitably  commit  himself  at  once  to  his  political  destruction.  His  downfall, 
too,  will  not  be  more  precipitate  than  awkward.  It  is  all  very  well  to  talk  about  l)xe facilis 
descensus  Averni:  but  in  all  kinds  of  climbing,  as  Catalani  said  of  singing,  it  is  far  more 
easy  to  get  up  than  to  come  down. — PoE  :    The  Purloined  Letter. 

Facings,  To  put  one  through  his,  a  popular  colloquialism,  meaning  to 
call  to  account,  to  scold,  or  to  make  some  one  show  off  his  accomplishments. 
In  the  latter  sense  is  apparent  the  military  derivation  of  the  phrase  originally 
applied  to  the  regular  drill, — "  Face  !"  "  Right  about  face,"  etc. 
We  were  scarcely  wed  a  week 

When  she  put  me  through  my  facings. 
And  walloped  me — and  worse  ; 

She  said  I  did  not  wan:  a  wife, 
I  ought  to  have  had  a  nurse. 

F.  Egerton  :  If  my  wife  would  let  me. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  355 

Factotum,  from  the  Latin  facere,  "to  do,"  and  totus,  neuter  totum,  "all," 
"  the  whole  ;"  meaning  one  who  does  all  or  every  kind  of  work  for  another. 

Tip. — Art  thou  the  Dominus  ? 
Host. — Factotum  here,  sir. 

Ben  Jonson. 

And  Foulis,  in  his  "  History  of  the  Plots  of  our  Pretended  Saints,"  second 
edition,  1674,  says,  "  He  was  so  farre  the  dominus  fac-totum  in  thisyM«c^  that 
his  words  were  laws." 

He  could  not  sail  without  him ;  for  what  could  he  do  without  Corporal  Vanspitter,  his 
protection,  his  factotum,  his  distributer  of  provisions? — Marryat  :  Snarleyyoxv,  chap.  xiii. 

The  name  has  become  famous  in  its  application  by  Greene  to  Shakespeare  ; 
and  the  allegations  of  Greene  and  his  friends,  in  their  totality,  form  one  of 
the  curiosities  of  literature.  After  having  referred,  in  a  general  way,  to  the 
subterfuge  practised  by 

theological  poets,  which  for  their  gravity  and  calling,  being  loath  to  have  profane  pam- 
phlets pass  under  their  hands,  get  some  other  Batillus  to  set  his  name  to  their  verses.  .  .  . 
Thus  is  the  ass  made  proud  by  this  underhand  brokery,  and  he  that  cannot  write  true  Eng- 
lish, without  the  help  of  clerks  of  parish  churches,  will  make  himself  the  father  of  interludes  :" 
(Farewell  to  Folly,  Introduction), — 

and  after  having  procured  his  friend  Nashe  to  write  an  "Epistle"  to  his 
"  Menaphon,"  in  which  occur  references  to  a  "  sorry  ballet-maker,  passing 
good  at  a  moral,"  one  "who  could  not  write  true  English"  without  the  aid  of 
the  "sexton  of  St.  Giles  beyond  Cripplegate,"  and  innuendoes  concerning 

"  sundry  sweet  gentlemen,  that  have  vaunted  their  pens  in  private  devices,  and  have 
tricked  up  a  company  of  taiTety  fools  with  their  feathers,"  and  in  which  he  says,  "  It  is  a 
common  practice  nowadays  amongst  a  sort  of  shifting  companions,  that  run  through  every 
art  and  thrive  by  none,  to  leave  the  trade  of  noverint  vhereto  they  were  bom,  and  busy  them- 
selves with  endeavors  of  art,"  whereby  "  they  who  could  scarcely  latinize  their  neck-verse, 
if  they  should  have  need,  .  .  .  out-brave  better  pens  with  the  swelling  bombast  of  blank 
verse," — 

Greene  finally,  in  his  "Groat's  Worth  of  Wit,"  which  he  finished  on  his 
death-bed,  made  the  well-known  allusion  to  "the  upstarte  crowe,"  "beauti- 
fied with  our  feathers,"  who  thinks  himself  as  well  able  to  "bombast  out  a 
blank-verse  as  the  best  of  you,  and  being  a  veritable  Johannes  Factotum,  is, 
in  his  own  conceit,  the  onlie  Shake-scene  in  a  countrie." 

Facts  are  stubborn  things.  The  phrase  occurs  in  Le  Sage's  "Gil 
Bias,"  Book  x.,  chap.  i.  (Smollett's  translation),  but  was  used  earlier  than  by 
Smollett,  ipsissima  verba,  in  Elliott's  "Essay  on  Field  Husbandry"  (1747). 
It  expresses  the  general,  if  not  universal,  conviction  of  the  incontrovertibility 
of  the  evidence  of  the  senses,  of  the  truths  of  actual  experience, — in  short,  of 
facts, — and  the  phrase,  or  analogous  ones,  as  "  facts  won't  lie,"  or  its  variant, 
expressive  of  the  unassailability  of  mathematical  certainty,  viz.,  the  colloquial- 
ism "figures  won't  lie,"  have  become  proverbial. 

It  is  possible  that  Le  Sage  in  his  phrase  may  have  had  a  faint  adumbration 
of  the  Italian  proverb,  "  Fatti  maschi,  parole  femine"  (literally,  "  Facts  or 
deeds  are  masculine,  words  feminine,"  but  in  application  meaning  "  Actions 
are  becoming  to  a  man,  a  woman  has  words").  The  full  text  of  the  Italian 
proverb  is,  "  Le  parole  son  femine  e  i  fatti  son  maschi,"  which  is  so  much 
the  worse  for  the  facts,  for  notwithstanding  their  masculinity,  or  perhaps 
because  of  it,  notwithstanding  their  apparent  stubborn  rigidity,  facts  have  the 
mutability  which  appertains  to  all  things  mundane  :  thus, — 

Time  dissipates  to  shining  ether  the  solid  angularity  of  facts.— Emerson  :  Essays,  First 
Series  :  History. 

The  words  "  Fatti  maschi,  parole  femine,"  which  were  the  motto  of  Lord 


356  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Baltimore,  the  founder  of  the  colony,  have  been  adopted  as  the  motto  in  the 
seal  of  the  State  of  Maryland. 

Facts,  So  much  the  worse  for  the.  This  expression  is  attributed  to 
Voltaire.  Something  very  like  it,  however,  is  to  be  found  in  the  brochure  of 
Royer-Collard  against  the  opinions  of  the  Jansenists  of  Port-Royal  on  Grace. 
He  says,  "  lis  ont  les  textes  pour  eux,  mais  j'en  suis  fache  pour  les  textes" 
("The  texts  are  with  them,  but  I  am  sorry  for  the  texts").  The  stubbornness 
of  facts,  the  quality  of  refusing  to  yield,  or  to  be  brushed  aside  without 
ceremony,  is  a  characteristic  which  is  generic,  being  common  to  facts  of  all 
kinds.  With  this  general  correspondence,  however,  goes,  on  the  other  hand, 
the  greatest  diversity,  and  we  have  "plain  facts,"  "dry  facts,"  and  facts  which 
are  "cold,"  "bald,"  etc.  But  "General  texts  prove  nothing."  (Selden  : 
Table- Talk:  Prayer.) 

Fagot-vote,  in  English  political  slang,  a  vote  given  by  an  elector  who  has 
qualified  more  or  less  fraudulently,  as  by  the  purchase  of  property  under 
mortgage,  etc.,  probably  derived  from  the  military  term  fagots,  =  dummy 
soldiers  or  sailors,  hired,  to  appear  at  muster  and  fill  up  the  deficiencies  in 
companies  or  crews. 

Why,  gentlemen,  quite  apart  from  any  question  of  principle,  nothing,  I  venture  to  say,  can 
be  so  grossly  imprudent  as  that  which  is  familiarly  known  in  homely  but  most  accurate  phrase 
as  the  manufacture  of  fagot-votes. — Gladstone  :  First  Midlothian  Speech,  November  25, 1879. 

Fagots  and  fagots,  There  be.  This  form  of  expression,  of  comparing 
things  and  things,  is  a  very  common  colloquialism,  which  has  thousands  of 
variations,  e.g.,  there  are  books  and  books,  honors  and  honors,  dinners 
and  dinners,  etc.,  ad  libitum.  This  particular  phrase  originated  with  Mo- 
here,  in  his  "  Medecin  malgre  Lui,"  Act  i.,  Sc.  6,  and  is  used  by  the  wood- 
cutter Sganarelle,  who  refuses  to  sell  his  wood  at  a  lower  price,  saying  it  were 
quite  possible  that  wood  might  be  bought  for  less,  but  "  il  y  a  fagots  et  fagots." 
A  story  is  told  of  Madame  de  Stael.  With  great  persistency  she  urged  a 
lady  in  mourning,  a  daughter  of  M.  de  Guichen,  lieutenant-general  of  marines, 
to  take  part  in  a  dance,  until  at  last  the  lady  was  obliged  to  appeal  to  her  to 
desist.  "  Consider,  madame,"  she  said,  "  if  you  had  the  misfortune  to  lose 
your  father,  could  you  think  of  dancing  so  soon  ?"  "  Oh,"  haughtily  retorted 
the  de  Stael,  "  there  is  such  a  difference  between  fathers  and  fathers  ;"  to 
which  the  other,  "True,  madame:  my  father  served  his  king  and  country 
during  sixty  years  ;  yours  in  a  fortnight  ruined  both." 

Failings  leaned  to  virtue's  side.  The  amiable  weaknesses  of  the 
country  vicar,  in  Goldsmith's  "  "  Deserted  Village,"  are  thus  described  : 

Careless  their  merits  or  their  faults  to  scan, 

His  pity  gave  ere  charity  began. 

Thus  to  relieve  the  wretched  was  his  pride. 

And  e'en  his  failings  leaned  to  virtue's  side. 
Goldsmith,  again,  has  a  similar  descriptive  bit  in  his  play  of  "  The  Good- 
Natured  Man,"  Act  i.  :  "All  his  faults  are  such  that  one  loves  him  still  the 
better  for  them."  .   . 

The  very  words  we  have  used  above,—"  amiable  weaknesses," — words  origi- 
nating with  Fielding  in  "  Tom  Jones,"  Book  x.  chap,  viii.,  and  later  endorsed 
by  Gibbon  and  Sheridan,  may  have  been  suggested  by  this  line.  That  virtue, 
on  the  other  hand,  through  its  uncompromising  austerity,  may  lean  towards 
the  side  of  wrong,  was  recognized  by  Addison  in  the  line, — 

Curse  all  his  virtues  !  they've  undone  his  country, —  Cato,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  4, 
and  was  epigrammatically  glanced  at  by  Disraeli  in  his  well-known  character- 
ization of  Gladstone,  "  He  has  not  a  single  redeeming  defect,"  which  is  better 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  357 

than  Pliny  the  Younger's  "  Mis  only  fault  is  that  he  has  none."  So  Thackeray 
says,  "  A  better  and  more  Christian  man  scarcely  ever  breathed  than  Joseph 
Addison.  If  he  had  not  had  that  little  weakness  for  wine — why,  we  could 
scarcely  have  found  a  fault  with  him,  and  could  not  have  liked  him  as  we  do." 
{English  Humorists :  Congreve  and  Addison.)  Far  different  was  the  meaning 
of  that  stern  moralist,  Bossuet,  when  in  his  sermon  on  the  death  of  Anne  de 
Gonzaga  de  Cleves,  Princess  Palatine,  in  1684,  he  said,  "The  princess  had 
all  the  virtues  with  which  hell  is  filled."     (See  Hell.) 

Pope,  in  his  "  Essay  on  Criticism,"  Part  ii.,  has  the  lines, — 

Whoever  thinks  a  faultless  piece  to  see. 
Thinks  what  ne'er  was,  nor  is,  nor  e'er  shall  be, 

which  are  partly  imitated  from  Sir  John  Suckling,  in  the  epilogue  to  "  The 

Goblins," — 

"  High  characters,"  cries  one,  and  he  would  see 
Things  that  ne'er  were,  nor  are,  nor  e'er  will  be, — 

partly  from  Sheffield,  Duke  of  Buckingham,  in  his  "  Essay  on  Poetry  :" 

There's  no  such  thing  in  Nature  ;  and  you'll  draw 
A  faultless  monster  which  the  world  ne'er  saw. 

Carlyle  varies  the  phrase  :  "The  greatest  of  faults,  I  should  say,  is  to  be  con- 
scious of  none."  (Heroes  and  Hero-  Worship :   The  Hero  as  a  Prophet.') 

Sir  Robert  Peel,  speaking  of  Lord  Eldon,  remarked  that  "e'en  his  failings 
leaned  to  virtue's  side  ;"  upon  which  it  was  observed  that  his  lordship's  fail- 
ings resembled  the  leaning  tower  of  Pisa,  which,  in  spite  of  its  long  inclination, 
had  never  yet  gone  over. 

Paint  heart  never  "won  fair  lady,  a  proverb  that  may  be  found  in 
most  modern  languages.  Cervantes  quotes  it  in  "  Don  Quixote,"  Part  ii., 
ch.  X.  The  French  analogue  is  "  Ja  couard  n'aura  belle  amie."  In  "Britain's 
Ida"  (attributed  to  Spenser,  and  printed  in  his  works),  Canto  v.,  stanza  i, 
the  second  line  is, — 

Ah,  Fool !  faint  heart  fair  lady  ne'er  could  win. 
An  earlier  use — the  earliest  yet  traced  in   English  literature — occurs   in 
George  Whetstone's  "  Rock  of  Regarde,"  Part  ii.  (1576)  : 

The  silent  man  still  suffers  wrong,  the  proverbe  old  doth  say. 
And  where  adventure  wants,  the  wishing  wight  ne  thrives, 
Faint  heart,  hath  been  a  common  phrase,  faire  lady  never  wives. 

Doubtless  Dryden  had  this  "  common  phrase"  in  mind  when,  in  "  Alexander's 
Feast,"  he  wrote, — 

None  but  the  brave  deserve  the  fair. 
The  old  Latin  proverb  "  Fortes  fortuna  adjuvat"  is  probably  the  germ. 

Fair.  If  she  be  not  fair  to  me.  So  the  popular  voice  usually  misquotes 
the  first  line  of  the  couplet 

If  she  be  not  so  to  me, 
What  care  I  how  fair  she  be  ? 

George  Wither  :   The  Shepherd's  Resolution. 

Wither  has  here  imitated  Sir  Walter  Raleigh, — 

If  she  undervalue  me. 
What  care  I  how  fair  she  be  ? 

If  she  seem  not  chaste  to  me, 
What  care  I  how  chaste  she  be  ? — 

and  in  turn  has  been  imitated  by  Sheridan  : 

I  ne'er  could  any  lustre  see 

In  eyes  that  would  not  look  on  me  ; 

I  ne'er  saw  nectar  on  a  lip 

But  where  my  own  did  hope  to  sip. 

The  Duenna,  Act  i.,  Sc.  2. 


358  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

BickerstafTs  jolly  miller  was  even  more  philosophic  : 

There  was  a  jolly  miller 

Lived  on  the  river  Dee  ; 
He  danced  and  sang  from  mom  to  night, — 

No  lark  so  blithe  as  he ; 
And  this  the  burden  of  his  song 

Forever  used  to  be  : 
"  I  care  for  nobody,  not  I, 

If  nobody  cares  for  me." 

Love  in  a  Village,  Act  i.,  Sc.  i. 

Fame.     No  lines  are  more  quoted  than  these  from  Milton's  "  Lycidas  :" 
Fame  is  the  spur  that  the  clear  spirit  doth  raise 

(That  last  infirmity  of  noble  mind) 
To  scorn  delights,  and  live  laborious  days  ; 

But  the  fair  guerdon  when  we  hope  to  find. 
And  think  to  burst  out  into  sudden  blaze. 

Comes  the  blind  Fury  with  th'  abhorrfed  shears 
And  slits  the  thin-spun  life. 

Fame  is  no  plant  that  grows  on  mortal  soil. 

The  figure  of  ambition  or  desire  for  fame,  as  a  spur  pricking  one  to  action, 
had  previously  been  used  by  Shakespeare  : 

I  have  no  spur 
To  prick  the  sides  of  my  intent,  but  only 
Vaulting  ambition. 

Macbeth,  Act  i  ,  Sc.  7. 

And  the  same  association  of  ideas  is  found  in  Bacon  : 

To  take  a  soldier  without  ambition  is  to  pull  off  his  spurs. — Essays  :  Of  Ambition. 

But  "the  most  inexplicable  coincidence  in  the  whole  range  of  literature,"  so 
says  Mr.  Swinburne,  is  that  between  the  first  two  lines  of  our  Miltonic  quo- 
tation and  these  lines  in  the  tragedy  of  "  Sir  John  van  Olden  Barnevelt," 
written  fifteen  years  earlier  (in  1622): 

Read  but  o'er  the  stories 

Of  men  most  famed  for  courage  and  for  counsel. 

And  you  shall  find  that  the  desire  for  glory 

(That  last  infirmity  of  noble  minds) 

Was  the  last  frailty  wise  men  e'er  put  oflT. 

"May  there  not  possibly,"  asks  Mr.  Swinburne,  "be  some  Italian  original, 
as  yet  undiscovered,  of  the  famous  line,  which  must  have  struck  every  reader 
of  the  passage  above  cited  with  instant  and  astonished  recognition  V  But 
surely  the  original  of  the  famous  line  is  in  Tacitus  : 

Erant  quibus  appetentior  famse  videretur,  quando  etiam  sapientibus  cupido  gloriae  novis- 
sima  exuitur  ("  Some  might  consider  him  as  too  fond  of  fame,  for  the  desire  of  glory  clings  even 
to  the  best  of  men  longer  than  any  other  passion"). — Historia,  iv.  6. 

In  Montaigne  is  the  same  sentiment,  more  diffusely  expressed,  buttressed 
by  a  quotation  from  Augustine  : 

And  of  men's  unreasonable  humors  it  seemeth  that  the  best  philosophers  do  more  slowly 
and  more  unwillingly  clear  themselves  of  this  [thirst  for  fame]  than  of  another.  It  is  the  most 
peevish,  the  most  froward,  and  the  most  obstinate  of  all  infirmities.  "  Quia  etiam  bene pro- 
Jicientes  anitnos  tentare  non  cessai." — Augustine  :  De  Civitaie  Dei,  v.  14. 

DTsraeli  has  pointed  out  the  genesis  of  Pope's  famous  lines, — 
How  vain  that  second  life  in  others'  breath. 
The  estate  which  wits  inherit  after  death  ; 
Ease,  health,  and  life,  for  this  they  must  resign, 
(Unsure  the  tenure,  but  how  vast  the  fine  !) 

Te7nple  0/ Fame. 
DTsraeli  suggests  that  in  these  lines  Pope  had  in  mind  a  single  idea  of  Butler, 
by  which  he  has  very  richly  amplified  the  entire  imagery.     Butler  says, — 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  359 

Honor's  a  lease  for  lives  to  come, 
And  cannot  be  extended  from 
The  legal  tenant. 

Hudibras,  Part  i.,  ch.  iii. 

The  same  thought  may  be  found  in  Sir  George  Mackenzie's  "  Essay  on  Pre- 
ferring Solitude  to  Public  Employment,"  first  published  in  1665  :  Hudibras 
preceded  it  by  two  years. 

Fame  is  a  revenue  payable  only  to  our  ghosts ;  and  to  deny  ourselves  all  present  satisfac- 
tion, or  to  expose  ourselves  to  so  much  hazard  for  this,  were  as  great  madness  as  to  starve  our- 
selves or  fight  desperately  for  food  to  be  laid  on  our  tombs  after  our  death. 

And  this  in  turn  may  have  suggested  to  Southey  the  jest  that  poets  might  be 
able  to  live  on  posthumous  fame,  but  not  on  posthumous  bread  and  cheese. 
In  this  connection  it  is  interesting  to  contrast  the  attitudes  assumed  by  poets, 
satirists,  and  philosophers  towards  this  master  passion  : 

What  shall  I  do  to  be  forever  known. 

And  make  the  age  to  come  my  own  ? 

Cowley  :   The  Motto. 

Ah,  who  can  tell  how  hard  it  is  to  climb 

The  steep  where  Fame's  proud  temple  shines  afar? 

James  Beattie  :    The  Minstrel,  Book  i.,  stanza  i. 

What  rage  for  fame  attends  both  great  and  small ! 
Better  be  damned  than  mentioned  not  at  all. 

John  Wolcot  :   To  the  Royal  Academicians. 

Men  the  most  infamous  are  fond  of  fame. 
And  those  who  fear  not  guilt  yet  start  at  shame. 

Churchill  :   The  Author,  1.  233. 

Low  ambition  and  the  thirst  of  praise. 

Cowper  :   Table-Talk,  1.  591. 

Whatis  theendof  fame?     'Tis  but  to  fill 
A  certain  portion  of  uncertain  paper. 

Byron  :  Don  Juan,  Canto  i.,  stanza  218. 

Bulwer,  an  industrious  writer,  with  occasional  ability,  is  distinguished  for  his  reverence  of 
intellect  as  a  temporality,  and  appeals  to  the  worldly  ambition  of  the  student.  His  romances 
tend  to  fan  these  low  flames. — Emerson  :  English  Traits. 

Familiarity  breeds  contempt.  The  Latin  proverb,  "  Nimia  familiaritas 
contemptum  parit,"  which  seems  to  have  been  the  direct  parent  of  our  proverb 
and  its  congeners,  may  be  found  in  the  "  Adagia"  of  Erasmus  (circa  1536),  who 
quotes  in  corroboration  a  sentence  from  Plutarch  that  Pericles  took  care  not 
to  make  his  person  cheap  among  the  people,  and  appeared  among  them  only 
at  proper  intervals.  "  He  considered  that  the  freedom  of  entertainments 
takes  away  all  distinction  of  office,  and  that  dignity  is  little  consistent  with 
familiarity."  Plutarch  himself  frequently  moralizes  on  this  theme,  and 
declares  that  "  Novelty  causes  the  imagination  to  add  much  to  objects  of  ter- 
ror, while  things  really  terrible  lose  their  effect  by  familiarity."  In  the  first 
book  of  Martial's  epigrams,  number  113  is  as  follows  : 

A  lord,  a  king,  you  were  while  you  were  still  unknown; 
You'll  only  Priscus  be,  now  you've  familiar  grown. 

Long  before,  however,  the  same  moral  had  been  enforced  by  ^sop  in  his 
apologue  of  the  Fox  and  the  Lion,  and  it  is  found  in  various  forms  in  the 
Old  Testament.  Thus,  in  Proverbs  the  visitor  too  abundantly  supplied  with 
the  gift  of  continuance  is  admonished  by  the  wise  man,  "  Let  thy  foot  be 
seldom  in  thy  neighbor's  house,  lest  he  be  weary  of  thee  and  hate  thee  ;"  and 
in  the  Apocrypha,  the  son  of  Sirach  says,  "  If  thou  be  invited  of  a  mighty 
man,  withdraw  thyself,  and  so  much  the  more  will  he  invite  thee."  The 
"  Omue  ignotum  pro  magnifico"  of  Tacitus  {"  Everything  unknown  is  taken  to 


360  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

be  magnificent,"  Agricola,  30)  gives  tlie  converse  of  the  proposition,  and  the 
moral  of  a  wise  reserve  and  reticence  even  among  the  best  of  friends  is  well 
pointed  by  the  French  epigram,  "Le  secret  d'ennuyer,  c'est  de  tout  dire" 
("  The  secret  of  being  a  bore  is  to  tell  everything").  And,  above  all,  undue 
liberties  should  be  resented.  For  this  is  a  cowardly  world,  alternately  pol- 
troon and  bully,  and,  while  withdrawal  into  the  darkness  awes  the  poltroon,  a 
too  open  courting  of  the  sunlight  gives  a  vantage-point  to  the  bully  in  coward 
man. 

That  man  that  hails  you  Tom  or  Jack, 

And  proves,  by  thumping  on  your  back, 
His  sense  of  your  great  merit. 

Is  such  a  friend  that  one  had  need 

Be  very  much  his  friend  indeed 
To  pardon  or  to  bear  it. 

CowPER :   On  Friendship. 

But  there  is  a  modus  in  rebus  ;  there  are  certain  lines  which  must  be  drawn ;  and  I  am 
only  half  pleased,  for  my  part,  when  Bob  Bowstreet,  whose  connection  with  letters  is  through 
Policemen  X.  and  Y.,  and  Tom  Garbage,  who  is  an  esteemed  contributor  to  the  Kennel  Mis- 
cellany, propose  to  join  fellowship  as  brother  literary  men,  slap  me  on  the  back,  and  call  me 
old  boy  or  by  my  Christian  name. — Thackeray:   The  Virginians,  vol.  i.,  chap.  Ixiii. 

Master  Slender's  use  of  the  term  is  in  the  true  Dogberry  vein  : 

If  there  be  no  great  love  in  the  beginning,  yet  heaven  may  decrease  it  upon  better  ac- 
qu.iintance,  when  we  are  married  and  have  more  occasion  to  know  one  another  :  I  hope,  upon 
familiarity  will  grow  more  contempt.— Shakespeare  :  The  Merry  Wives  0/  Windsor,  Act 
i.,  Sc.  I. 

Addison  says, — 

Beauty  soon  grows  familiar  to  the  lover. 
Fades  in  his  eye,  and  palls  upon  the  sense. 

Cato,  Act  i.,  Sc.  4. 

Per  contra,  no  greater  compliment  could  be  paid  to  a  woman  than  Antony 
pays  to  Cleopatra : 

Age  cannot  wither  her,  nor  custom  stale 
Her  infinite  variety. 

Shakespeare:  Antony  and  Cleopatra,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  2. 

Fancy.  Where  is  fancy  bred  ?  In  the  "  Merchant  of  Venice,"  Act  iii., 
Sc.  2,  the  following  is  sung  behind  the  scenes : 

Tell  me  where  is  Fancy  bred. 
Or  in  the  heart,  or  in  the  head? 
How  begot,  how  nourished? 

Reply,  reply. 
It  is  engendered  in  the  eyes, 
With  gazing  fed,  and  fancy  dies 
In  the  cradle  where  it  lies. 

There  is  a  curious  parallelism  between  this  song  and  a  passage  in  Lyly's 
"  Euphues  :"  "  For  as  by  basill  the  scorpion  is  engendered,  and  by  means  of 
the  same  herb  is  destroyed ;  so  love  which  by  time  and  fancie  is  bred  in  an 
idle  head,  is  by  time  and  fancie  banished  from  the  heart  :  or,  as  the  salaman- 
der, which  being  a  long  space  nourished  in  the  fire,  at  the  last  quencheth  it, 
so  affection  having  taken  hold  of  the  fancie,  and  living,  as  it  were,  in  the 
niinde  of  the  lover,  in  tract  of  tyme  altereth  and  changelh  the  heate,  and 
turneth  it  to  chilnesse." 

Fase  or  Phase,  used  as  a  verb, — e.g.,  "  It  never  fased  him," — an  Ameri- 
canism, is  probably  a  survival  of  the  old  English  verb  pheeze,  pheese,  or 
phase,  which  Shakespeare  has  put  into  the  mouth  of  Christopher  Sly  in  the 
first  line  of  "The  Taming  of  the  Shrew," — 

I'll  pheese  you,  in  faith, — 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  36 1 

and  which  he  uses  also  in  "Troilus  and  Cressida  :" 

Au  he  be  proud  with  me,  I'll  pheese  his  pride. 
Hallivvell  says  it  is  a  Westmoreland  expression,  meaning  to  beat,  to  chastise, 
to  humble.  Schmidt  explains  it  as  "  probably  a  verb  signifying  any  kind  of  teas- 
ing and  annoying."  Gifford  says  it  is  still  used  in  the  same  sense  in  the  west 
of  England.  And  J.  Crosby  informs  us  that  in  "the  north  of  England  they 
have  a  word  pronounced  phaze,  meaning  to  make  an  impression  upon,  to  stir 
up,  to  arouse  ;  as  in  '  I  called  the  man  a  scoundrel,  but  it  never  phazed 
him.'"  This,  it  will  be  seen,  is  exactly  the  American  expression,  which  is 
used  only  in  the  negative  form. 

A  teacher  in  Vanderbilt  University,  speaking  recently  of  a  teacher  in  Kentucky,  said, 
"Nothing  fazes  \\\m." —Trans .  Amer.  Philolog.  Aisoc,  xvii.  39. 

Well,  'has  given  me  my  quietus  est;   I  felt  him 
In  my  guts;  I'm  sure  'has  feez'd  me. 

ViLLiERs:   Tke  Chances  {i^yi^). 

Fast  and  loose,  the  name,  in  Shakespeare's  time,  of  the  cheating  game  or 
trick,  now  known  as  "  pricking  the  garter"  or  prick  at  the  loop,  practised  upon 
the  innocents  at  fairs  and  races  by  gypsies  and  sharpers.  A  narrow4)elt  or 
strap  is  doubled  and  rolled  up,  and,  with  the  double  or  loop  in  the  centre,  is 
laid  on  its  edge  on  a  board.  The  dupe  is  induced  to  bet  that  he  can  put  a 
skewer  into  the  loop  while  the  strap  is  being  unrolled,  but  by  a  little  dexterity 
the  sharper  can  draw  it  out  in  such  a  way  as  to  make  this  impossible.  Hence 
"  to  play  fast  and  loose"  has  come  to  mean,  to  be  unreliable,  and  is  applied  to 
a  person  who  says  one  thing  and  does  another  : 

Betrayed  I  am  : 
O  this  false  soul  of  Egypt !  this  grave  charm,— 
Whose  eye  becked  forth  my  wars,  and  called  them  home ; 
Whose  bosom  was  my  crownet,  my  chief  end, — 
Like  a  right  gypsy,  hath,  at  fast  and  loose, 
Beguiled  me  to  the  very  heart  of  loss. 

Antony  and  Cleopatra,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  12. 
To  sell  a  bargain  well  is  as  cunning  as  fast  and  loose. 

Love's  Labor's  Lost,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  i. 

Fast  bind,  fast  find,  a  proverb  of  great  antiquity,  on  which  Shakespeare 
has  bestowed  this  encomium  : 

Fast  bind,  fast  find  ; 
A  proverb  never  stale  in  thrifty  mind. 

Merchant  of  Venice,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  5. 

Fat.  All  the  fat's  in  the  fire.  P'at  is  a  cant  word  for  money,  luck,  or 
other  good  thing.  Thus,  in  theatrical  slang  it  designates  a  part  with  telling 
lines  and  situations,  one  in  which  the  actor  can  show  off  to  good  advantage  ; 
among  printers  it  is  applied  to  blank  spaces  in  composition,  or,  more  techni- 
cally, leaded  matter  which  is  paid  for  at  the  same  rate  as  solid ;  and  with  the 
general  public  a  fat  thing  means  something  very  profitable.  Hence  a  num- 
ber of  derivative  phrases,  as  to  cut  it  fat,  =  to  show  off,  to  exhibit  one's  self  in 
gorgeous  costume,  to  cut  up  fat,  =  to  leave  a  large  estate,  etc.  Per  contra,  "  All 
the  fat's  in  the  fire"  means  it's  all  over,  it's  all  up,  down  on  one's  luck,  etc. 
The  proverb  is  an  old  one,  and  may  be  found  in  Heywood. 

1  don't  want  to  rob  Miss  Claremont  of  her  fat,  but  her  part  must  be  cut  down.— r/j<r 
Referee,  April  15,  18S8. 

Printed  in  large  type,  with  plenty  of  what  the  unpleasant  printers  call  fat,  meaning  there- 
,by  blank  spaces,  upon  thick  paper. — Holmes  :   Guardian  Angel,  ch.  xxiv. 

Gentlemen,  in  alarming  waistcoats  and  steel  watchguards,  promenading  about,  three  abreast, 
with  surprising  dignity,  or,  as  the  gentleman  in  the  next  box  facetiously  observes,  cuttmg  it 
uncommon  fat  !— Dickens  :  Sketches  by  Boz. 

The  old  banker  died  in  course  of  time,  and,  to  use  the  affectionate  phrase  common  on  such 
occasions,  cut  up  prodigiously  well. — Thackeray  :  Book  of  Snobs,  ch.  vii. 

Q  31 


362  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Fat  friend. — "  Alvanley,  who's  your  fat  friend  ?"  This  is  the  well-known 
snub  administered  by  Beau  Brummel  to  his  whilom  bosom-friend  the  Prince 
Regent  when  upon  meeting  him  face  to  face  in  company  after  their  rupture 
the  Prince  seemingly  failed  to  recognize  the  Beau.  The  version  here  given, 
probably  the  true  story  of  the  affair,  first  appeared  in  print  only  quite  recently, 
when  the  incident  was  recalled  by  the  success  of  Mr.  Richard  Mansfield  in 
"  Beau  Brummel"  at  the  Madison  Square  Theatre,  New  York.  In  the  play 
the  scene  is  laid  in  Pall  Mall.  It  really  occurred  in  the  Argyle  Rooms, 
in  Regent  Street,  which  have  since  been  pulled  down.  "Soon  after  Beau 
Brummel  had  fallen  under  the  royal  displeasure,  he,  Lord  Alvanley,  the  wit, 
and  some  other  members  of  the  male  fine  Jleur  of  London  society,  gave  a 
ball  at  these  rooms.  The  Prince  Regent  was  one  of  the  guests.  When  his 
royal  highness  arrived,  the  hosts  went  in  a  body  to  receive  him  at  the  door. 
He  shook  hands  with  all  except  the  Beau,  of  whom  he  took  no  notice.  As 
he  was  walking  up  the  ball-room  on  Lord  Alvanley's  arm,  between  two  rows 
of  his  future  subjects,  Brummel  tapped  Alvanley  on  the  shoulder,  and  said,  in 
a  loud  voice,  "  Alvanley,  who's  your  fat  friend  ?"  This  is  the  authentic 
story,  ^s  related  by  Beau  Brummel  himself,  when  he  was  living  in  poverty  in 
Caen,  to  the  man  who  told  it  to  the  writer." — Bykon  P.  Stevenson,  in 
Illustrated  American,  1890. 

Fate  cannot  hcurm  me,  I  have  dined  to-day.  The  concluding  lines  in 
Sydney  Smith's  famous  poetical  Recipe  for  Salad  (Mefnoir,  p.  374)  are, — 

Serenely  full,  the  epicure  would  say. 

Fate  cannot  harm  me,  I  have  dined  to-day. 

The  last  line  is  probably  a  reminiscence  of  Horace  : 
lUe  potens  sui 
Laetusque  deget,  cui  licet  in  diem 
Dixisse  Vixi ;  eras  vel  atra 
Nube  polum  Pater  occupato, 
Vel  sole  pure  ;  non  tamen  irritum 
Quodcunque  retro  est  efficiet. 

Carmina,  iii.  29. 

The  witty  divine  may  have  been  more  directly  indebted  to  Dryden's  imita- 
tion of  Horace, — 

Happy  the  man,  and  happy  he  alone. 
He  who  can  call  to-day  his  own  ! 
He  who,  seciu-e  within,  can  say, 
To-morrow  do  thy  worst,  for  I  have  lived  to-day, — 
or  to  Cowley's, — 

To-nnorrow  let  my  sun  his  beams  display 
Or  in  clouds  hide  them  ;   I  have  lived  to-day. 

Father  of  his  country  (L.  "  Pater  Patriae"  or  "  Parens  Patriae"),  the  title 
originally  devised  for  Marius  by  the  Senate  and  Forum  of  Rome,  in  honor  of 
his  victories,  B.C.  102-1,  over  the  northern  barbarians,  but  refused  by  him. 
Subsequently  Cicero  accepted  it  when  tendered  him  as  a  recognition  of  his 
services  in  unmasking  the  conspiracy  of  Catiline.  It  was  borne  with  less 
reason  by  several  of  the  Caesars,  and  was  one  of  the  titles  of  Andronicus 
Palaeologus,  of  Cosmo  dei  Medici,  of  Frederick  I.,  Emperor  of  Germany,  and 
of  numerous  others.  In  American  history  it  has  been  applied  with  special 
pertinence  to  George  Washington.  The  similar  title,  Father  of  his  People, 
was  worn  by  the  kindly  and  generous  Louis  XII.  of  France,  and  by  the  ami- 
able Christian  III.  of  Denmark. 

Aux  filles  de  bonnes  maisons 

Comme  il  avail  su  plaire, 

Ses  sujets  avaient  cent  raisons 

De  le  nommer  leur  pere. 

Bbranger  :  Le  Rot  d '  Yvetot. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  363 

("  To  all  the  ladies  of  the  land 

A  courteous  king  and  kind  was  he  ; 
The  reason  why,  you'll  understand. 
They  named  him  Pater  Patriae." 

Thackeray.) 

Reynolds,  in  his  eulogium,  1783,  embalming  the  memory  of  G.  M.  Mozer 
the  Academician,  writes,  "  He  may  truly  be  said  in  ez'cry  sense  to  have  been  the 
father  of  the  present  race  of  artists."  This  reminds  one  of  Charles  II.,  who, 
when  they  told  him  that  he  was  called  "  the  father  of  his  people,"  laughed,  and 
said  that  "  he  was  indeed  of  a  good  many  of  them." 

Favorite  leg.  This  humorous  colloquialism,  with  its  parallels,  "  favorite 
corn,"  etc.,  is  traceable  to  Beau  Brummel.  Being  seen  limping  on  Bond 
Street,  he  explained  that  he  had  injured  his  leg,  and,  added  he,  "  the  worst  of 
it  is,  it  was  my  favorite  leg." 

Feather  in  his  cap.  The  origin  of  this  phrase,  as  designating  a  distinc- 
tion or  achievement,  was  probably  the  custom  in  vogue  among  the  followers 
of  woodcraft  everywhere  to  wear  a  trophy  of  their  prowess,  generally  a  feather 
(in  the  Tyrol  it  is  the  beard  of  the  chamois),  in  their  caps.  In  Scotland  it  is 
still  customary  for  the  sportsman  who  kills  the  first  woodcock  to  pluck  out  a 
feather  and  wear  it  in  his  cap. 

It  hath  been  an  antient  custom  among  them  that  none  shoulde  wear  a  fether  but  he  who 
had  killed  a  Turk,  to  whom  onlie  yt  was  lawful  to  shew  the  number  of  fethers  in  his  cappe." 
—Richard  Hansard:  Discription  of  Hungary,  Anno  1599,  Lansdowne  MS.,  775,  fol. 
149,  in  the  British  Museum. 

When  the  title  of  king  was  offered  to  Oliver  Cromwell  in  1658,  and  he 
refused  the  offer,  saying,  "  Royalty  is  but  a  feather  in  a  man's  cap  :  let  children 
enjoy  their  rattle,"  he  may  have  referred  to  another  and  less  distinguishing 
practice : 

Naturall  Idiots  and  Fooles  haue  and  still  do  accustome  themselves  to  weare  in  their  cappes 
cocks'  feathers,  or  a  hat  with  a  necke  and  head  of  a  cocke  on  the  top,  and  a  bell  thereon.— 

MiNSHEU,  1617. 

Feather,  To  show  the  white,  to  lose  heart,  to  exhibit  one's  self  as  a 
coward.  The  pure-breed  game-cock  has  only  red  and  black  feathers.  A  cross- 
breed bird  is  known  by  a  white  feather  in  his  tail.  The  slightest  impurity  of 
strain  is  said  to  destroy  the  bird's  pluck  :  hence  cocks  who  showed  a  white 
feather  were  never  trained  for  the  pit.  The  common  adage,  "Any  cock  will 
fight  on  its  own  dunghill,"  is  frequently  qualified  by  the  addition  that  it  must 
be  one  without  a  white  feather  to  fight  in  the  pit. 

Feathers.  Three  feathers,  enclosed  in  a  coronet,  with  the  motto  Ich 
dien  ("  I  serve"),  form  the  crest  of  the  Prince  of  Wales.  Crest  and  motto 
are  said  to  have  belonged  to  the  blind  king  of  Bohemia  whom  the  Black 
Prince  overcame  at  Cressy,  and  to  have  been  first  assumed  by  the  Black 
Prince.  But  the  story  has  no  historical  basis.  The  triple  plume,  as  well  as 
feathers  of  various  numbers,  seems,  indeed  to  have  come  into  particular  use 
in  the  time  of  Edward  III.,  from  1327  to  1377.  But  it  was  not  unknown 
before  that  time.  Guillim  states  that  "  the  ostrich's  feathers  in  plume  were 
sometimes  also  the  device  of  King  Stephen,  who  gave  them  with  this  word, 
'  Vi  nullo  invertitur  ordo,' — '  No  force  alters  their  fashion,' — alluding  to  the  fold 
and  fall  of  the  feather,  which,  however  the  wind  may  shake  it,  it  cannot  dis- 
order it ;  as  likewise  is  the  condition  of  kings  and  kingdoms  well  established." 
He  does  not  mention  the  number  of  feathers,  so  it  is  possible  that  the  triple 
plume  is  more  distinctly  connected  with  Edward  III.  But  even  at  that  time 
it  was  not  the  distinctive  cognizance  of  the  Prince  of  Wales,  being  borne  by 


364  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

others  of  the  royal  family.     Not  till  the  reign  of  Henry  VII.  was  the  triple 
plume  within  a  coronet  restricted  to  the  eldest  son  of  the  sovereign. 

But  the  three  feathers  seem  to  be  an  ancient  and  wide-spread  symbol.  In 
the  Santa  Casa  at  Loretto  a  marble  sculpture  of  three  feathers  arranged  in 
nearly  the  same  position  as  those  borne  by  the  Prince  of  Wales  is  described 
as  the  einhleme  magnifique  of  Lorenzo  dei  Medici,  father  of  Leo  X.  Sir 
Thomas  Roe,  who  was  sent  on  a  mission  to  India  by  James  I.,  describes  the 
plume  of  heron's  feathers  worn  by  the  Mogul  emperors  of  Hindostan  when 
they  took  the  field.  Tavernier,  the  French  traveller,  says  a  plume  of  three 
heron's  feathers  was  worn  by  the  Ottoman  Porte,  explaining  that  it  had  a 
military  meaning  and  was  a  symbol  of  command.  On  taking  the  field  the 
Ottoman  Porte  gave  one  of  the  feathers  to  the  grand  vizier,  who  was  ac- 
knowledged by  the  whole  army  as  their  commander-in-chief.  Nadir  Shah, 
who  in  the  eighteenth  century  conquered  Asia  from  Bagdad  to  Delhi,  wore 
three  black  heron's  feathers  in  his  diadem.  It  is  not  impossible  that  the 
three  feathers  belonging  to  the  Persian,  the  Mogul,  or  the  Turk  may  have 
been  borrowed  from  the  Brahminical  worship  and  represent  the  three  deities 
of  fire,  air,  and  water.  According  to  Brahminical  teaching,  all  the  gods  of 
the  universe  were  resolved  into  these  three  conceptions,  which  in  their  turn 
are  symbolized  in  the  mystic  letters  A.U.M.,  representing  the  three  in  one, 
as  the  idea  of  one  suj^reme  spirit  which  is  sometimes  personified  as  Brahma, 
sometimes  as  Vishnu,  sometimes  as  Siva.  Some  authorities  derive  "  Ich 
dten"  from  Sanscrit  words  meaning  not  "  I  serve,"  but  "  I  shine."  But  the 
weight  of  authority  seems  to  favor  the  derivation  from  the  Anglo-Saxon  "  Ic 
thian,"  meaning  "  I  serve." 

Feed  a  cold  and  starve  a  fever,  the  epigrammatic  form  in  which  a  bit 

of  old-wife  medical  lore  has  expressed  itself. 

Another  friend  assured  me  it  was  policy  to  "  feed  a  cold  and  starve  a  fever."  I  had  both. 
So  I  thought  it  best  to  feed  myself  up  for  the  cold,  and  then  keep  dark  and  let  the  fever  starve 
awhile.  In  a  case  of  this  kind  I  seldom  do  things  by  halves.  I  ate  pretty  heartily.  I  con- 
ferred my  custom  upon  a  stranger  who  had  just  opened  his  restaurant  that  morning.  He 
waited  near  me  in  respectful  silence  until  I  had  finished  feeding  my  cold,  when  he  inquired  if 
the  people  about  Virginia  were  much  afflicted  with  colds.  I  told  him  I  thought  they  were. 
He  then  went  out  and  took  in  his  sign. — Mark  Twain  :   Choice  IVorks. 

Feet.  How's  your  poor  feet?  a  popular  catch-word,  used  as  a  jocular 
salutation  without  any  definite  meaning.  It  was  very  popular  in  England  in 
the  early  sixties,  and  is  said  to  have  originated  at  a  performance  of  "The  Dead 
Heart,"  when  that  play  was  first  brought  out.  One  of  the  characters  says, 
"My  heart  is  dead,  dead,  dead,"  whereat  a  voice  from  the  gallery  shouted, 
"And  'ow's  your  poor  feet.'"  which  nearly  brought  the  play  to  a  close. 

Fello'w-feeling.  In  a  prologue  which  Garrick  wrote  and  spoke  on  behalf 
of  the  Drury  Lane  Theatrical  Fund,  before  the  play  "The  Wonder"  was 
acted,  appeared  the  following  lines  : 

Their  cause  I  plead, — plead  it  in  heart  and  mind  ; 
A  fellow-feeling  makes  one  wondrous  kind. 

His  performance  in  "  The  Wonder"  marked  Garrick's  last  appearance  on 
the  stage,  Monday,  June    10,    1776.       Garrick    may  have    had    in  mind  the 
passage  in  Burton's  "  Anatomy  of  Melancholy,"  "  I  would  help  others,  out  of 
a  fellow-feeling  ;"  but  this  in  its  turn  is  a  reminiscence  of  Virgil : 
Non  ignara  mali,  miseris  succurrere  disco. — Aineid,  Book  i.,  1.  630. 
("  Being  not  unacquainted  with  woe,  I  learn  to  help  the  unfortunate.    ) 

Felt.     In  his  "  Urania,"  Holmes  has  a  clever  pun  upon  this  word : 

Mount  the  new  castor ;  ice  itself  will  melt ; 
Boots,  gloves,  may  fail ;  the  hat  is  always  y>//. 


LITERARY  OURIOSITIES.  365 

But  he  had  been  anticipated  by  the  authors  of  the  "  Rejected  Addresses"  in 
their  imitation  of  Crabbe  : 

The  youth,  with  joy  unfeigned. 
Regained  the  felt,  and  felt  what  he  regained ; 

and   they  in    their  turn   had   been  anticipated  by  Thomas   Heywood  in   a 
song: 

But  of  all  felts  that  may  be  felt, 

Give  me  your  English  beaver. 

Fence,  On  the,  in  American  political  slang,  undecided,  neutral ;  generally 
used  in  a  sarcastic  sense  and  applied  to  those  men  of  impartial  minds  who 
wait  to  see,  as  another  pretty  phrase  has  it,  "  how  the  cat  will  jump."  Arch- 
deacon Trench,  in  his  "  English  Past  and  Present,"  points  out  how  singular 
it  is  not  only  that  the  same  idea  is  embodied  in  the  Latin  prcmaricato, — viz., 
"straddling  with  distorted  legs," — but  also  that  the  classical  phrase  carries 
with  it  the  same  figurative  meaning. 

A  kind  o'  hangin'  'round  an'  settin'  on  the  fence. 

Till  Providence  pinted  how  to  jump  an'  save  the  most  expense. 

Lowell  :  Billow  Papers,  ii. 

Ferguson.  It's  all  very  well,  Mr.  Ferguson,  but  you  can't  lodge 
here.  This  was  once  a  favorite  phrase  in  England,  and  is  still  remembered. 
Thus,  G.  A.  Sala,  writing  from  Wellington,  .New  Zealand,  in  18S6,  to  the 
London  Telegraph,  and  describing  "  the  chockablock  plethora  at  the  hotels" 
and  his  disdainful  repulse  by  Boniface  after  Boniface,  recalls  "  that  famous  but 
inscrutable  utterance  of  the  very  first  year  of  the  Victorian  Epoch,"  and  asks, 
"  Who  was  Ferguson,  and  where  did  he  seek  to  lodge,  and  on  what  ground 
was  he  denied  shelter .?  I  shall  not  descend  contented  to  the  tomb  until  I 
have  solved  the  mystery  of  Ferguson."  A  contributor  to  Notes  and  Queries 
came  at  once  to  Mr.  Sala's  aid  with  the  following  story  :  "  About  the  time  to 
which  Mr.  Sala  alludes,  the  celebrated  Marquis  of  Waterford  was  in  full  swing, 
and  had  a  friend,  a  Captain  Ferguson.  At  the  end  of  one  of  their  sprees  they 
had  become  separated,  and  the  marquis  found  his  way  home  to  the  house  of 
his  uncle,  the  Bishop  or  Archbishop  of  Armagh,  a  large  mansion  at  the  south 
corner  of  Charles  Street,  St.  James's  Square.  The  marquis  had  gone  to  bed, 
when  a  thundering  knock  came  to  the  door.  The  marquis,  suspecting  who 
was  the  applicant,  threw  up  the  window  and  said,  'It's  all  very  fine,  Mr. 
Ferguson,  but  you  don't  lodge  here.'  For  many  years  the  saying  became 
popular,  and  the  particulars  took  a  deep  hold  on  my  memory,  which  still  re- 
tains them." — Notes  and  Queries,  seventh  series,  i.  46. 

Festina  lente  ("Make  haste  slowly"),  from  the  Greek  proverb  27reii(5e 
jSpadewc,  a  phrase  made  famous  by  the  Emperor  Augustus,  who  was  fond  of 
quoting  it,  as  well  as  the  analogous  "  Sat  celeriter  fit  quidquid  fiat  satis  bene" 
("  That  is  done  fast  enough  which  is  done  well  enough").  So  Sir  Amyas  Paulet, 
when  he  saw  that  too  much  haste  was  made  in  any  matter,  was  wont  to  say, 
"Stay  awhile,  that  we  may  make  an  end  the  sooner"  (Bacon  :  Apothegms)  ; 
and  so  Shakespeare,  in  "  Romeo  and  Juliet :"  "  Wisely  and  slow  ;  they  stum- 
ble that  run  fast."  A  similar  moral  is  conveyed  by  ^sop's  fable  of  the 
Hare  and  the  Tortoise,  and  by  all  that  cycle  of  proverbial  expressions 
whereof  the  most  familiar  are  the  English  "The  more  haste  the  less  speed," 
"The  race  is  not  always  to  the  swift,"  "Rome  was  not  built  in  a  day,"  etc. 
The  same  bit  of  proverbial  wisdom  has  found  a  voice  in  the  oft-quoted  Ger- 
man "Eile  mit  Weile,"  and,  with  Spartan  brevity  and  considerable  fidelity  to 
the  original  "  Festina  lente,"  in  the  colloquial  Americanism  "Go  slow." 

Sir  John  Lawrence  was  not  so  anxious  for  an  immediate  and  wholesale  development  of 
the  railway  system.  .  .  .  Festina  lente,  Eile  mit  Weile,  was  the  maxim  by  which  he  was  dis- 


Z(>(>  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

posed  to  act.  .  .  .  But  in  spite  of  this  maxim,  or  rather  perhaps  owing  to  it,  a  vast  stride  was 
made  even  in  the  construction  of  railways  during  his  administration. — H.  Bosworth  Smith  : 
Life  of  Lord  Lawrence ,  vol.  ii.,  ch.  xii. 

Pevr  die,  and  none  resign,  a  pithy  summary  of  a  phrase  which  origi- 
nated with  Thomas  Jefferson.  When  he  became  Presidisnt  in  iSoi,  he  an- 
nounced that  all  civil  offices  held  at  pleasure  and  filled  by  Adams  after  the 
result  of  the  election  was  surely  known  were  to  be  considered  vacant.  Acting 
on  this  principle,  Elizur  Goodrich  was  removed  from  the  collectorship  of  New 
Haven  to  make  room  for  Samuel  Bishop.  Goodrich  had  managed  the  affairs 
of  the  office  with  honesty,  ability,  and  despatch.  Bishop's  advanced  age, 
feebleness,  and  lack  of  business  training  made  him  an  unfortunate  choice. 
The  merchants  were  highly  jjffended.  Eighty  of  them,  headed  by  Elias  Ship- 
man,  signed  a  remonstrance.  In  his  reply  Jefferson  said,  "The  will  of  the 
nation  calls  for  an  administration  in  harmony  with  the  opinions  of  those 
elected.  For  the  fulfilment  of  that  will,  displacements  are  necessary,  and 
with  whom  can  displacements  more  fittingly  begin  than  with  placemen  ap- 
pointed in  the  last  moments  of  a  dying  government,  not  for  its  own  aid,  but 
for  its  successor's  discomfiture .-'  If  a  due  participation  of  office  is  a  right, 
how  are  vacancies  to  be  obtained .''  Those  by  death  are  few,  by  resignation 
none."    See,  also,  Right  Man  in  the  Right  Place. 

Fiasco.  This  is  the  Italian  word  for  bottle  or  flask.  It  is  said  that  the 
Venetian  glass-blowers,  in  making  their  beautiful  glass-ware,  when  they  dis- 
covered a  flaw  in  the  bulb  would  convert  it  into  an  ordinary  flask,  or  fiasco, 
whence  fiasco  came  to  be  synonymous  with  a  failure.  "  In  Italy,  when  a 
singer  fails,  even  to  the  extent  of  a  single  false  note,  the  audience  shout  '  ola, 
ola  fiasco,'  perhaps  an  allusion  to  the  bursting  of  a  bottle,"  or  perhaps  to  the 
custom  of  the  Venetian  glass-blowers. 

An  Italian  contemporary',  in  reviewing  the  past  musical  season,  adopted  recently  a  system 
of  symbols  which  we  may  commend  to  the  notice  of  English  journalists.  Appended  to  the 
notice  of  each  new  opera  was  the  picture  of  a  wine-flask,  which  varied  in  size  with  the  degree 
of  failure  achieved  by  the  particular  work.  Every  one  who  remember-;  that  the  word  fiasco 
— popularized  as  a  synonyme  with  failure — is  really  ihe  Italian  for  a  flask,  will  perceive  the 
convenient  possibilities  opened  up  by  this  method.  At  present  the  critic  is  often  condemned 
to  write  whole  columns  of  which  the  gist  might  be  comprised  in  two  words.  How  much  bet- 
ter it  would  be  if  we  adopted  the  delightfully  terse  symbolism  thus  suggested !  One  column 
would  be  reserved  everj'  week,  the  names  of  the  pieces  set  down,  and  opposite  we  should  put 
a  finely-gradated  series  of  wine-flasks,  showing  the  precise  degree  of  good  and  ill  success 
attained. — Satu  rday  Review. 

Fiat  experimentum  in  corpora  vili  (L.,  "  Let  the  experiment  be  per- 
formed on  a  worthless  subject").  The  origin  of  this  phrase  is  sometimes  asso- 
ciated with  Mark  Anthony  Muretus  on  the  strength  of  an  anecdote  told  in 
the  "  Menagiana"  and  elsewhere.  Being  attacked  by  sickness  on  a  journey,  the 
two  physicians  who  attended  him,  believing  him  an  obscure  person,  agreed  to 
use  a  novel  remedy,  with  the  remark,  "  Faciamus  periculum  in  anima  vile" 
("  Let  us  try  this  dangerous  thing  on  a  worthless  soul").  Muretus  greatly  dis- 
concerted them  by  tranquilly  replying  to  their  Latinity,  "  Vilem  animam 
appellas,  pro  qua  Christus  non  dedignatus  est  mori  ?"  ("  Do  you  call  that  a 
worthless  soul,  for  which  Christ  did  not  disdain  to  die  ?")  The  accuracy  of  the 
anecdote  has,  however,  been  called  in  question.  A  common  American  phrase 
is,  "  Try  it  on  the  dog." 

"  Experimentum  in  corpore  vili"  is  a  good  rule  which  will  ever  make  me  adverse  to  any 
trial  of  experiments  on  what  is  certainly  the  most  valuable  of  all  subjects,  the  peace  of  this 
Empire. — Burke:  Select  Works,  vol.  i.  p.  224. 

Fiat  justitia,  ruat  coelum  (L.,  "  Let  justice  be  done,  though  the  heavens 
fall").  This  phrase  became  famous  through  its  quotation  by  Lord  Mansfield 
in  his  decision  in  the  case  of  John  Wilkes  in  1768.     Wilkes  had  been  sen- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  367 

(enced  to  outlawry  for  the  publication  of  "The  North  Briton,"  No.  45,  with- 
out having  been  present  in  court.  He  asserted  the  constitutional  right  of  an 
Englishman  to  a  public  trial  in  the  presence  of  the  accused.  In  his  opinion, 
reversing  the  sentence,  Judge  Mansfield  says,  "The  constitution  does  not 
allow  reasons  of  state  to  inHuence  our  judgment.  God  forbid  it  should  ! 
We  must  not  regard  political  consequences,  however  formidable  they  might 
be  ;  if  rebellion  was  the  certain  consequence,  we  are  bound  to  say,  '  Justitia 
fiat,  ruat  coelum.'"  The  words  are  printed  in  quotation  in  the  report  of  the 
case  ;  but  it  is  uncertain  whence  his  lordship  quoted.  The  identical  words 
may  be  found  in  the  controversial  literature  of  the  times  of  the  struggles  be- 
tween King  Charles  I.  and  Parliament ;  in  Prynne's  "  Fresh  Discovery  of 
Prodigious  New  Wandering  Blazing  Stars,"  second  edition,  1646,  and  Ward's 
"Simple  Cobler  of  Agawam  in  America,"  1647.  The  motto  of  the  Emperor 
Ferdinand  I.,  which  contemporaries  attributed  to  his  authorship,  comes  very 
near  in  form  to  Judge  Mansfield's  quotation  :  "  Fiat  justitia,  pereat  mundus." 
It  is  not  likely,  for  obvious  reasons,  that  this  could  be  a  Latinized  version  of 
a  maxim  of  Luther,  "Justice  must  have  her  way,  even  should  the  world  go 
down  to  ruin,"  of  which  it  is,  however,  an  accurate  translation. 

The  "  quotation"  of  Lord  Mansfield  may  have  been  an  independent  epi- 
grammatic rendering  of  Cicero's  "  Fundamenta  justitias  sunt,  ut  ne  cui 
noceatur,  delude  ut  communi  utilitati  serveatur"  ("The  foundations  of  justice 
are  that  no  one  shall  suffer  wrong  ;  theii,  that  the  public  good  be  furthered"), 
which  is  at  least  just  as  likely  as  that  he  unearthed  it  out  of  musty  and 
forgotten  records. 

It  is  related  of  Joseph  Jekyll,  the  witty  barrister,  that  he  declined  an  invi- 
tation to  dinner  at  Lansdowne  House,  because  of  an  engagement  with  the 
judges.  During  the  dinner,  part  of  the  ceiling  in  the  dining-room  came  down, 
and  Jekyll,  commenting  on  the  incident,  raised  a  laugh  by  saying,  "I  was 
asked  to  mat  calum,  but  dined  instead  \\\i\\Jiat  justitia." 

Fiddle,  To  play  first,    to  take  a  leading  part,  as  the  more  usual  "to 

play  second  fiddle"  is  to  take  a  subordinate  part.     The  derivation  is  obvious. 

If  my  friends  will  shout  Titmarsh  forever,  hurrah  for  etc.,  etc.,  I  may  go  up  with  a  run.  to 
a  pretty  fair  place  in  my  trade,  and  be  allowed  to  appear  before  the  public  as  among  the  first 
fiddles. — Thackeray  :  Letter  to  W.  E.  Aytonn,  January  2,  1847. 

She  had  inherited  from  her  mother  an  extreme  objection  to  playing,  in  any  orchestra  what- 
ever, the  second  fiddle. — James  Pavn  :  A  Grapefrom  a  Tliorn,  ch.  xi. 

To  hang  up  one's  fiddle  is  a  common  expression,  meaning  to  resign,  to  desist, 
to  retire  from  public  to  private  life. 

Fiddle-de-dee!  This  exclamation  has  no  connection  with  bosh,  the  gypsy 
or  Romany  word  for  "fiddle,"  from  which  it  has  been  fancifully  derived  by 
George  Borrow,  from  the  similarity  of  meaning  of  the  two  expletives  "bosh  !" 
and  "fiddle-de-dee  !"  Its  probable  origin  is  the  Italian  e-xpletive  "  Fediddio" 
(/rt/t-  di  Bio),  =  "  God's  faith  !"  or  "  'S  faith  !" 

Field  of  the  Forty  Footsteps,  a  piece  of  land  at  the  back  of  the  British 
Museum,  called  also  Southampton  Fields,  and  once  known  by  this  name. 
The  tradition  is  that  two  brothers,  in  the  Duke  of  Monmouth's  rebellion,  took 
different  sides,  and  here  engaged  each  other  in  deadly  fight.  Both  were 
killed,  and  forty  impressions  of  their  feet  remained  on  the  field  for  many 
years,  where  no  grass  would  grow.  The  Misses  Porter  wrote  a  novel  on  the 
subject,  and  the  Messrs.  Mayhew  a  melodrama. 

Fig  for  you  !  an  English  colloquial  expression  of  contempt.  Dr.  Johnson 
says,  "  To  fig,  in  Spanish  kigasdar,  is  to  insult  by  putting  the  thumb  between  the 
fore  and  middle  fingers.     From  this  Spanish  custom  we  yet  say,  in  contempt, 


368  HANDY-BGOK  OF 

'  A  fig  for  you.'  "  To  this  Douce  has  added  the  following  :  "  Dr.  Johnson  has 
properly  e.xplained  this  phrase  ;  but  it  should  be  added  that  it  is  of  Italian 
origin.  When  the  Milanese  revolted  against  the  Emperor  Frederick  Barba- 
rossa,  they  placed  the  Empress,  his  wife,  upon  a  mule,  with  her  head  towards 
the  tail,  and  ignominionsly  expelled  her  from  their  city.  Frederick  afterwards 
besieged  and  took  the  place,  and  compelled  every  one  of  his  prisoners,  on  pain 
of  death,  to  take  with  his  teeth  a  fig  i\om.  the  posterior  of  a  mule,  the  party 
at  the  same  time  being  obliged  to  Vepeat  to  the  executioner  the  words  Ecco 
la  fica.  From  this  circumstance /zr  la  fica  became  a  term  of  derision,  and 
was  adopted  by  other  nations.  The  French  ?,2Ly,fiiire  la  figuey  {Illustrations 
of  Shakespeare.)  But  in  a  subsequent  edition  Douce  withdrew  the  explana- 
tion, saying  that  it  rested  on  the  very  weak  authority  of  Albert  Crantz,  a 
credulous  and  comparatively  modern  historian.  Richard  Payne  Knight,  in 
his  "Symbolical  Language  of  Ancient  Art  and  Mythology,"  is  inclined  to  give 
the  phrase  a  Priapic  origin  :  "The  fig  was  a  still  more  coniimon  symbol,  the 
statues  of  Priapus  being  made  of  the  tree,  and  the  fruit  being  carried  with  the 
phallus  in  the  ancient  processions  in  honor  of  Bacchus,  and  still  continuing 
among  the  common  people  of  Italy  to  be  an  emblem  of  what  it  anciently 
meant :  whence  we  often  see  portraits  of  persons  of  that  country  painted  with 
it  in  one  hand,  to  signify  their  orthodox  devotion  to  the  fair  sex.  Hence, 
also,  arose  the  Italian  expression /zr /rt^^^rt,  which  was  done  by  putting  the' 
thumb  between  the  middle  and  fore  fingers,  as  it  appears  in  many  Priapic 
ornaments  now  extant." 

Leigh  Hunt,  in  "The  Italian  Poets,"  translates  the  latter  part  of  the  third 
line  of  Canto  xxv.  of  the  "  Inferno"  as  follows  : 
Take  it,  God,— a  fig  for  thee ! 

The  lines  in  the  original  are, — 

Al  fine  (telle  sue  parole  il  ladro 
Le  mani  alzo  con  ambiduo  le  fiche, 
Gridando  :  Togli  Die,  ch"  a  te  le  squadro. 

Literally,  "At  the  conclusion  of  his  words  the  thief  raised  up  his  hands  with 
[/.('.,  in  the  form  of]  both  the  figs,  shouting,  'Take  them,  God,  for  at  thee  I 
aim  them.'"  The  Pistojans,  the  thief's  townsmen,  built  a  tower  on  the  rock 
of  Carmignano,  and  at  the  top  of  it  were  two  arms  of  marble,  with  hands 
that  made  the  figs  at  Florence. 

Shakespeare,  in  "The  Merry  Wives  of  Windsor,"  makes  Pistol  say, — 

'•  Convey"  the  wise  it  call.     "  Steal  !"  foh  !  a  fico  for  the  phrase.— Act  i.,  Sc.  3. 

Figs.  In  the  name  of  the  Prophet— figs !  A  familiar  bit  of  humor, 
burlesquing  some  anticlimax,  or  bathetic  expre.ssion,  borrowed  from  the  fig- 
and  other  merchants  of  Oriental  countries,  who  are  wont  solemnly  to  cry 
their  wares  in  this  fashion. 

In  Morocco  the  costermonger  recommends  his  wares  by  pledging  the  credit  of  a  saint  : 
"  In  the  name  of  Mulai  Idriss  !  Roast  chestnuts !"  "  In  the  name  of  our  Lord  Mohammed 
Al  Hadj  !  Popcorn  !  Popcorn  !"  "  In  the  name  of  Sidna  Ali-bu-Khaleh  !  Melons  !  Nice, 
sweet  melons!"  "God  is  gracious!  Beans!  Fried  Beans!"  "There  be  no  might  nor 
majesty  save  in  Allah  !  Water  !  Cool  Water  I"  These  and  the  like  are  heard  at  every  turn. 
Even  the  auctioneer  who  is  calling  out  the  price  of  a  slave  girl,  or  the  bids  for  a  Rabat  carpet, 
is  careful  to  interlard  his  professional  talk  freely  with  allusions  to  his  Maker  and  the  plethoric 
roll  of  Moorish  saints. —  Chambers' s  Journal. 

Filibuster.  This  word,  one  of  the  significations  of  which  is  a  "  pirate,"  has 
a  curious  etymological  history.  It  is  derived,  according  to  Max  Miiller,  from 
the  Spanish  vioxdfilibote,  a  small  boat  of  peculiar  rig,  but  the  Spanish  word 
itself  is  a  corruption  of  the  English  word  fiyboat. 

This  origin,  however,  is  now  discredited,  as  having  no  support  in  history  or 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  369 

in  linguistic  form.  The  curious  fact  remains,  however,  that  while  the  word 
was  adopted  into  our  language  from  its  Spanish  prototype  j/f/?7'«j-/«v,  the  Span- 
iards themselves  derived  it  from  the  French  Jiiiustier,  while  the  French  again 
is  a  gallicisation  of  the  Dutch  vrijhtiiter,  the  English  for  which  \s  freebooter.  In 
"  De  Americaensche  Zee-Roovers"  (167S),  written  by  John  Oexmelin,  some- 
times called  Exquemelin  or  Esquemeling  (translated  into  English  in  16S4),  the 
West  Indian  adventurers  who  subsequently  developed  into  the  criminals  and 
pirates  generally  known  as  the  "buccaneers"  were  divided  into  "  boucaniers," 
"  flibustiers,"  and  "  habitans,"  the  first  being  hunters,  the  second  rovers,  and 
the  last  farmers  with  fixed  habitations.  They  were  mainly  French,  with  an 
admixture  of  Dutch  and  English."  The  "  flibustiers"  are  said  to  have  derived 
their  name  "from  the  English  word  fiibuster,  which  means  rover."  This  must 
be  referred,  however,  to  the  word  freebooter,  which  appears  to  have  been 
derived  from  the  Dutch  vri/biiiter. 

In  a  narrower  sense,  in  the  United  States,  filibuster  is  applied  to  the  bands 
of  men  who  at  various  times  have  organized  illegal  military  and  naval  ex- 
peditions with  the  purpose  of  invading  foreign  states  (mainly  the  Central- 
American  republics  and  the  island  of  Cuba),  with  a  view  to  revolutionizing 
their  government.  The  principal  expeditions  of  this  nature  were  those  or- 
ganized and  led  by  Narcisso  Lopez  from  New  Orleans  against  Cuba  in  1850-51, 
and  the  expeditions  of  William  Walker  against  the  State  of  Sonora,  in  Mexico, 
and  against  Nicaragua,  in  1855-58.  In  the  latter.  Walker  was  partially  suc- 
cessful, and  for  some  time  he  exercised  sovereign  power  there.  Both  leaders 
were  finally  captured  and  put  to  death. 

To  filibuster,  used  as  a  verb,  has  come  to  designate  in  the  United  States,  in 
parliamentary  language,  the  practice  on  the  part  of  a  minority  in  a  legislative  or 
deliberative  assembly  to  obstruct  and  delay  the  proceedings  by  technical  and 
dilatory  motions,  useless  speeches,  and  trivial  objections,  with  the  purpose  of 
tiring  out  their  opponents,  and  thus  preventing  legislation  or  the  passage  of  a 
resolution  objectionable  to  them.  One  who  filibusters  in  this  sense  is  called 
a  filibusterer. 

Filthy  Lucre,  a  humorous  colloquialism  for  money.  Douglas  Jerrold 
playfully  nicknamed  Stirling  Coyne,  the  dramatist,  by  the  synonyme  "Filthy 
Lucre." 

Fill  de  Siecle  (Fr.,  literally,  "end  of  the  century"),  a  fashionable  "gag," 
indicating  the  supposed  moral,  intellectual,  and  political  disintegration  attend- 
ant on  a  moribund  century,  which  originated  in  the  dilettante  circles  of  Paris 
in  1890.  In  February  of  that  year  a  caustic  picture  of  Parisian  life,  entitled 
"  Paris  Fin  de  Siecle,"  by  M.  Blum,  was  brought  out  at  a  Paris  theatre.  Though 
the  play  was  a  failure,  part  of  its  title,  borrowed  apparently  from  Bourget's 
"Mensonges,"  passed  into  current  slang.  It  flattered  the  semi-humorous 
notion  that  civilization  gets  worn  out  at  the  end  of  a  century,  and  that  a  new 
dawn  will  be  ushered  in  by  a  terminal  unit  of  measurement  in  our  calendars. 
This  appears  to  be  a  new  sensation.  Towards  the  end  of  the  tenth  centur>',  indeed,  there 
was  a  wide-spread  belief  in  the  end  of  the  world  :  fields  were  left  untilled,  houses  unrepaired  ; 
it  was  useless  to  work  for  posterity  when  the  Great  Consummation  was  at  hand.^  Biit  I  do 
not  find  that  any  subsequent  fin  de  siecle  betrayed  morbid  self-consciousness.  Carlyle,  it  is 
true,  set  the  fashion  of  anathematizing  the  poor  eighteenth  century  as  bankrupt,  and  taught 
us  to  regard  the  French  Revolution  as  the  grand  collapse  of  an  age  of  sh?ms  ;  but  I  see  no 
trace  of  our  grandfathers  considering  their  times  exceptionally  bad,  or  of  their  being  anxious  to 
reach  1801.  We  are  apt  to  forget  that  a  century  is  a  purely  arbitrary  division,  so  that  there 
can  be  no  moral  or  material  difference  between  1900  and  igoi.  Were  it  otherwise,  fin  de  mille 
ought  to  have  tenfold  significance ;  and  if  the  Romans,  by  placing  a  stone  at  eveiy  thou- 
N  sandth  step,  gave  us  the  word  "  milestone,"  a  "  mile  of  years"  should  be  a  ""'able  division 
of  time.  Our  grandchildren,  as  the  year  2000  approaches,  ought  to  feel  tenfold  depression, 
not  from  apprehension  of  the  end  of  the  world,  but  from  the  lassitude  of  a  millennium  on  Us 


37° 


HANDY-BOOK  OF 


last  legs.  Nay,  more,  what  the  last  decade  is  to  a  century  the  last  century  is  to  a  millen- 
nium ;  so  far,  therefore,  from  sighing  for  1901,  we  ought  to  be  positively  dreading  it,  and  2001 
ought  to  be  as  great  a  relief  as  was  \oox.— Atlantic  Monthly. 

Fine  by  degrees  and  beautifully  less,  usually  misquoted  "  small  by 
degrees,"  etc.,  is  a  line  in  Prior's  "  Henry  and  Emma  :" 

That  air  and  harmony  of  shape  express. 
Fine  by  degrees,  and  beautifully  less. 

Pope  has  imitated  it : 

Fine  by  defect,  and  delicately  weak. 

Moral  Essays,  Epistle  ii.,  1.  43. 

Finis  Poloniae!  (L.,  "The  end  of  Poland  !")  This  expression  is  persist- 
ently ascribed  to  Kosciusko  when  he  fell  wounded  under  the  balls  of  Suvarof 's 
soldiers  at  Maciejowice.  October  lO,  1794.  Yet  Kosciusko  himself  emphati- 
cally and  scornfully  denounced  it  as  a  Russian  invention.  In  the  first  place,  as 
he  wrote  to  Count  de  Segur,  who  had  given  publicity  to  the  story  in  his 
"Decade  Historique"  (1800),  he  was  ail-but  mortally  wounded,  and  could  not 
speak.  If,  however,  he  had  retained  the  faculty  of  speech,  he  would  certainly 
not  have  had  the  presumption  to  exclaim,  "  Finis  Poloniae,"  since  neither  his 
death  nor  the  death  of  any  one  else  could  be  for  Poland  a  fatal  misfortune. 
Segur  complied  with  Kosciusko's  request  that  the  libel  should  be  withdrawn 
from  all  subsequent  editions  ;  but  the  first  edition  remained  to  do  its  mischief. 
The  falsehood  was  perpetuated  in  Michaud's  "  Biographie  Universelle,"  whence 
it  has  passed  into  numberless  works  all  over  the  world.— See,  for  the  full  text 
of  Kosciusko's  letter  to  Segur  and  other  particulars,  Notes  and  Queries,  fifth 
series,  viii.  383. 

Fire,  To,  or  To  fire  out,  a  familiar  Americanism,  meaning  to  eject  with 
violence,  to  expel,  to  hurl  out  with  a  force  and  speed  resembling  those  of  a 
bullet  fired  from  a  gun.  An  attempt  has  been  been  made  to  fasten  the  origin 
of  this  phrase  on  Shakespeare,  on  the  strength  of  the  last  two  lines  of 
Sonnet  CLXIV.  : 

Yet  this  shall  I  ne'er  know,  but  live  in  doubt. 
Till  my  bad  angel  fire  my  good  one  out. 

This  is  all  very  well  as  a  bit  of  philological  jocosity.  But,  seriously,  Shake- 
speare used  the  phrase  in  an  entirely  different  sense,  as  can  be  plainly  seen 
by  this  passage  from  "  King  Lear,"  Act  v.,  Sc.  3  : 

He  that  parts  us  shall  bring  a  brand  from  heaven. 

And  fire  us  hence  like  foxes. 

Compare,  too,  the  phrase  "  fire  drives  out  fire"  in  "  Coriolanus,"  Act  ii.,  Sc.  7, 
and  "  Julius  Caesar,"  Act  iii.,  Sc.  I. 

"  Young  man,"  thundered  the  camp-meeting  orator,  "  were  you  ever  fired  with  enthu- 
siasm ?"  "  It  is  a  painful  subject,"  he  responded,  "  but  I  was.  Miss  Wedly's  father  supplied 
the  enthusiasm." — Texas  Si/tings. 

Fire,  Baptism  of.  "  Louis  has  just  received  his  baptism  of  fire."  These 
are  the  words  in  which  Napoleon  III.  announced  in  a  despatch  to  the  Empress 
Eugenie  the  momentary  exposure  of  the  prince  imperial  to  the  fire  of  the 
enemy  at  the  affair  of  Saarbriick  on  August  10,  1870.  This  application  of  the 
term  baptism  of  fire  to  the  young  soldier  who  has  happily  survived  his  first 
attack  of  "  Kannonenfieber"  (lit.,  "cannon-fever"),  as  the  Germans  happily 
put  it,  without  having  become  "  food  for  powder,"  was,  however,  previously 
made  by  the  great  Napoleon.  In  a  conversation  with  O'Meara  on  St.  Helena, 
August  2,  1817  (see  O'Meara's  "Voice  from  St.  Helena"),  Napoleon  I.  said, 
"  I  love  a  brave  soldier,  who  has  undergone  his  baptism  of  fire  {bapteme  de 
feu),  no  matter  to  what  nation  he  belongs." 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


371 


The  proper  significance  of  the  term,  of  course,  as  is  well  known,  is  the 
grace  of  baptism  as  considered  apart  from  the  outward  form,  the  gift  of  the 
Holy  Spirit,  and  is  sometimes  used  to  designate  martyrdom',  especially  that 
undergone  at  the  stake. 

John  Langhorne  also  shows  how  the  Christian  sacrament  may  be  turned  to 
metaphorical  use  : 

Cold  on  Canadian  hills  or  Minden's  plain. 

Perhaps  that  parent  mourned  her  soldier  slain  ; 

Bent  o'er  her  babe,  her  eye  dissolved  in  dew. 

The  big  drops  mingling  with  the  milk  he  drew 

Gave  the  sad  presage  of  his  future  years, — 

The  child  of  misery,  baptized  in  tears. 

The  Cattntry  Justice,  Part  i. 
This  allusion  to  the  dead  soldier  and  his  widow  on  the  field  of  battle  was 
made  the  subject  of  a  print  by  Bunbury,  under  which  were  engraved  the 
pathetic  lines  of  Langhorne.  Sir  Walter  Scott  has  mentioned  that  the  only 
time  he  saw  Burns,  this  picture  was  in  the  room.  Burns  shed  tears  over 
it ;  and  Scott,  then  a  lad  of  fifteen,  was  the  only  person  present  who  could 
tell  him  where  the  lines  were  to  be  found. — Lockhart  :  Life  of  Scott,  vol.  i., 
ch.  iv. 

First  an  Englishman,  and  then  a  Whig.  This  phrase  appears  in  a 
speech  made  by  Lord  Macaulay  (January  29,  1840),  avowedly  as  a  parody  of 
"an  old  Venetian  proverb."  The  proverb  in  question  ran  as  follows  :  "  Prima 
Veneziani,  e  poi  Cristiani"  ("  First  Venetians,  and  then  Christians").  It  was  in 
use  at  the  time  of  the  Interdict.  Thomas  Francis  Meagher,  the  Irish  patriot, 
made  a  freer  paraphrase  when  he  said,  "If  the  altar  comes  between  me  and 
my  country,  perish  the  altar!"  The  Venetian  motto  is  an  inversion  of  the 
saying  imputed  to  Socrates,  "I  am  not  an  Athenian  nor  a  Greek,  but  a 
citizen  of  the  world." 

Fenelon  was  accustomed  to  say,  "  I  love  my  family  better  than  myself;  my 
country  better  than  my  family  ;  and  mankind  better  than  my  country ;  for  I 
am  more  a  Frenchman  than  a  Fenelon  ;  and  more  a  man  than  a  Frenchman." 
Patrick  Henry  said,  "I  am  not  a  Virginian,  but  an  American"  {Speech  in 
the  Virgiftia  Convention,  1765)  ;  and  Webster,  in  a  speech  delivered  July  17, 
1850,  "  I  was  born  an  American ;  I  will  live  an  American ;  I  shall  die  an 
American !" 

First  catch  your  hare.  It  is  an  article  of  general  belief  that  "  Mrs. 
Glasse's  Cookery-Book,"  in  giving  directions  for  roasting  a  hare,  began  the 
recipe,  "  First  catch  your  hare."  Some  have  credited  "Mrs.  Giasse"  with  an 
excellent  joke,  others  have  learnedly  sought  to  prove  that  what  she  really 
wrote  was  scatch  (skin),  or  scotch  (cut  up),  or  other  semi-obsolete  word  which 
the  printer  misinterj^reted.  At  last  it  occurred  to  a  critic  of  unusual  intelli- 
gence to  look  up  the  passage  in  the  book  itself.  And,  lo  !  it  turned  out  that 
what  the  author  wrote,  and  what  the  printer  printed,  was,  "Take  your  hare 
when  it  is  cas'd,  and  make  a  pudding,"  etc.  C<)se  is  an  old  English  word 
which,  in  this  connection,  means  to  take  off  the  skin.  So  Mrs.  Glasse's  repu- 
tation is  saved  from  any  suspicion  of  unseemly  levity  in  treating  a  great  sub- 
ject. _  But  though  the  phrase  was  not  hers,  it  did  exist ;  indeed,  it  was  a  cur- 
rent jest  many  hundreds  of  years  before  Mrs.  Glasse's  cook-book  was  heard 
of,  and  seems  to  have  been  used,  as  at  present,  to  curb  ingenuous  and  unso- 
phisticated ambition.  Thus,  Bracton,  in  the  early  part  of  the  thirteenth  cen- 
tury, writes  (Book  iv.,  tit.  i.,  ch.  21,  §4),  "  Et  vulgariter  dicitur,  quod  primo 
oportet  cervum  capere,  et  postea,  cum  captus  fuerit,  ilium  excoriare"  ("And 
it  is  vulgarly  said  that  you  must  first  catch  your  deer,  and  then,  when  it  is 
caught,  skin  it."     It  may  be  interesting  to  add  that  the  "  cookery-book"  in 


372  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

question  was  first  published  under  the  title  "The  Art  of  Cookery  by  a  Lady" 
(1747).  The  name  of "  Mrs.  Glass,"  not  Glasse,  was  added  in  the  succeeding 
editions.     But  the  real  author  was  Dr.  John  Hill  {1716-1775). 

First  gentleman  of  Europe,  the  title  which  his  admirers,  during  his 
lifetime,  gave  to  George  IV.  of  England,  as  a  tribute  to  his  position,  his 
imposing  manners,  and  his  gorgeous  clothes. 

He  the  first  gentleman  of  Europe !  There  is  no  stronger  satire  on  the  proud  English 
society  of  that  day  than  that  they  admired  George.  No,  thank  God,  we  can  tell  of  better 
gentlemen  ;  and  whilst  our  eyes  turn  away,  shocked,  from  this  monstrous  image  of  pride, 
vanity,  weakness,  they  may  see  in  that  England,  over  which  the  last  George  pretended  to 
reign,  some  who  merit  indeed  the  title  of  gentlemen,  some  who  make  our  hearts  beat  when  we 
hear  their  names,  and  whose  memoi^  we  fondly  salute  when  that  of  yonder  imperial  manikin 
is  tumbled  into  oblivion. — Thackekay  :   George  the  Fourth. 

First  in  a  village  rather  than  second  in  Rome.  Plutarch  is  authority 
for  the  following  story,  which  appears  to  be  given  as  a  rumor  or  tradition  :  "  It 
is  said  when  he  came  to  a  little  town  in  passing  the  Alps,  his  friends,  by  way 
of  mirth,  took  occasion  to  say,  'Can  there  here  be  any  disputes  for  offices,  any 
contentions  for  precedence,  or  such  envy  and  ambition  as  we  see  among  the 
great!"  To  which  Csesar  answered,  with  great  seriousness,  'I  assure  you  I 
had  rather  be  the  first  man  here  than  the  second  man  in  Rome.'"  But  Plu- 
tarch does  not  mention  the  name  of  the  village. 

Lacordaire,  in  his  "Conferences,"  says  of  Caesar's  exclamation,  "It  is  the 
true  cry  of  nature  :  wherever  we  are,  we  wish  to  be  first."  So  undoubtedly 
thought  Milton's  Lucifer  : 

Better  to  reign  in  hell  than  serve  in  heaven. 

Paradise  Lost,  Book  i.,  1.  263. 

But  Milton  was  anticipated  by  Stafford,  in  whose  "Niobe"  (161 1)  the  devil  is 
made  to  speak  as  follows  :  "  Now,  forasmuch  as  I  was  an  Angel  of  Light,  it 
was  the  will  of  Wisdom  to  confine  me  to  Darkness,  and  make  me  Prince 
thereof;  so  that  I,  that  could  not  obey  in  Heaven,  might  command  in  Hell; 
and  believe  me,  I  had  rather  rule  within  my  dark  domain  than  to  reinhabit 
Coelum  imperium,  and  there  live  in  subjection  under  check,  a  slave  of  the 
Most  High."  There  is  also  a  parallel  passage  in  Fletcher's  "  Purple  Island," 
Canto  vii. : 

In  heaven  they  scorned  to  serve,  so  now  in  hell  they  reign. 

Caesar  Borgia's  motto,  "Ant  Caesar  aut  nuUus"  ("Either  Caesar  or  nobody"), 
which  be  caused  to  be  engraved  under  a  head  of  Caesar,  expresses  a  similar 
yearning  for  pre-eminence. 

First  in  war,  first  in  peace,  and  first  in  the  hearts  of  his  fellow- 
citizens,  a  phrase  applied  by  Colonel  Henry  Lee  to  Washington,  and  now 
usually  quoted  with  the  substitution  of  the  more  euphonious  "countrymen"  for 
"fellow-citizens."  The  phrase  was  originally  written  as  we  have  quoted  it  in 
the  resolutions  offered  by  John  Marshall  in  the  United  States  House  of 
Representatives  when  announcing  the  death  of  Washington,  December,  1799. 
Marshall,  in  his  "  Life  of  Washington,"  vol.  v.  p.  767,  noit;  informs  us  that  these 
resolutions  were  prepared  by  Colonel  Lee,  though  he  was  not  in  his  place  to 
read  them.  A  week  later,  December  26,  Lee  delivered  the  funeral  oration 
or  "Eulogy"  on  Washington.  Whether  he  then  did  or  did  not  make  the 
now  accepted  substitution  is  a  moot  point.  By  a  curious  oversight,  it  is 
left  unsettled  in  the  Memoir  of  Lee,  which  his  son,  the  still  more  famous 
General  Robert  E.  Lee,  prefixed  to  the  report  of  Colonel  Lee's  "  Memoirs  of 
the  War  of  the  Revolution."  On  page  5  he  gives  the  expression  "fellow- 
citizens."     But  on  page  52  he  says,  "There  is  a  line,  a  single  line,  in   the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  373 

works  of  Lee  which  would  hand  him  over  to  immortality,  though  he  had 
never  written  another  :  '  First  in  war,  first  in  peace,  and  first  in  the  hearts  of 
his  countrymen,'  will  last  while  language  lasts." 

First  letter  of  the  name  begins,  etc.  It  is  a  common  and  time- 
honored  jest  to  blurt  out  the  whole  name  or  whole  word,  when  only  its 
first  letter  is  promised,  as  for  example  in  Lyly's  "  Euphues,"  "There  is  not  far 
hence  a  gentlewoman  whom  I  have  long  time  loved,  the  first  letter  of  whose 
name  is  Camilla."  And,  again,  Middleton  says,  "  Her  name  begins  with  Mis- 
tress Page,  does  it  not.-"'  (Family  of  E^ve,  II.  iii.)  Nor  is  the  jest  an  obsolete 
one.  So  recently  as  February  21,  1886,  the  English  sporting  paper  The 
Referee  said  in  regard  to  an  amateur  sporting-match,  "  I  have  no  space  to 
describe  the  rounds  in  detail,  nor  can  I  say  who  won,  seeing  that  the  referee 
(the  first  letter  of  whose  name  is  said  to  be  John  L.  Shine)  declined  to  give  a 
decision."  Nor,  again,  is  the  jest  an  exclusively  English  one.  It  may  be 
found,  for  example,  in  Balzac  :  "  Et  la  premiere  lettre  de  son  nom  est  Maxima 
de  Trailles"  [Un  Homme  d' Affaires,  1855).  Yet  in  the  face  of  all  these  ex- 
amples an  absurd  conjectural  emendation  made  by  Collier  in  the  text  of 
Marlowe's  "  Doctor  Faustus"  has  been  allowed  to  stand  in  all  the  editions 
down  to  the  latest.  Lechery,  one  of  the  Seven  Deadly  Sins,  says  to  Faustus, 
"I  am  one  that  loves  an  inch  of  raw  mutton  better  than  an  ell  of  fried  stock- 
fish ;  and  the  first  letter  of  my  name  begins  with  Lechery."  This  is  the 
reading  of  the  quartoes.  Collier  proposed  to  substitute  for  the  last  word  the 
letter  L,  and  the  suggestion  has  been  generally  adopted. 

Fish.  All's  fish  that  comes  to  his  net,  meaning  that  he  is  not  at  all 
discriminating  or  scrupulous,  is  an  old  English  proverb  which  may  be  found 
in  Heywood  and  elsewhere. 

All's  fish  they  get  that  Cometh  to  net. 

TusSER  :  Five  Hundred  Points  of  Good  Husbandry  : 
February  Abstract. 

Whi.re  all  is  fish  that  cometh  to  net. 

Gascoigne  :  Stele  Glas,  IS7S- 

Fish.  To  be  neither  fish  nor  flesh,  a  colloquial  term  of  dissatisfaction, 
if  not  contempt,  applied  to  people  of  uncertain  and  wavering  minds,  trimmers, 
nondescripts,  etc.  Thus,  Shakespeare  makes  Falstaff  cry,  "  Why,  she's 
neither  fish  nor  flesh  ;  a  man  knows  not  where  to  have  her"  (Henry  IK, 
Part  II.,  Act  iv.,  Scene  3).  The  phrase  is  probably  a  survival  from  Catholic 
times,  when  every  Friday  it  became  a  question  of  interest  to  decide  what  was 
fish  and  what  flesh  meat  in  the  eyes  of  the  Lord.  The  further  extension, 
"  neither  fish  nor  flesh  nor  good  red  herring,"  which  is  found  in  Hey  wood's 
"  Proverbs,"  Part  I.,  ch.  x.,  and  in  numerous  sixteenth-  and  seventeenth-century 
authors,  is  a  mere  bit  of  humorous  extravagance. 

Fish  out  of  water,  a  proverbial  English  phrase  applied  to  a  person  or 
thing  out  of  place,  out  of  his  or  its  element. 

Lord  Kellie  was  recounting  a  sermon  he  had  heard  in  Italy  on  the  miracle  of  St.  Anthony 
preaching  to  the  fishes,  which  in  order  to  listen  to  his  pious  discourse  held  their  heads  out 
of  the  water.  "  I  can  credit  the  miracle,''"  said  Henry  Erskine,  "if  your  lordship  was  at 
church."  "  I  was  certainly  there,"  said  the  peer.  "  Then,"  rejoined  Erskine,  "  there  was 
at  least  one  fish  out  of  water.'' — Enchiridion  of  Wit. 

Fish  story,  a  colloquial  English  term  for  an  absurd  or  impossible  tale,  a 
gasconade.  The  allusion  is  to  the  boastful  stories  of  their  luck  credited  to 
fisbermen,  whose  romances  frequently  lead  to  the  conclusion  that  better  fish 
have  been  caught  than  ever  were  in  the  sea. 

"  You  doubt  me  !"  he  exclaimed.  "  Have  I  not  told  you  over  and  over  again  that  I  love 
you  and  you  only?  and  did  I  ever  yet  tell  you  an  untruth,  Kalherine?" 


374  IIANDY-BOOK  OF 

"  I  would  that  I  could  have  absolute  faith  in  you,"  she  replied,  stifling  a  sob,  "but— but  \ 
heard  you  tell  uncle  that  you  once  caught  a  brook-trout  that  weighed  three  pounds  and  six 
ounces."  And  the  tears  flowed  down  her  fair  young  face,  while  he  tapped  the  ground  with  his 
foot  and  solemnly  gazed  o'er  the  wide  blue  sea. — Fuck. 

Fishing-Rod.     The  description  of  a  fishing-rod  as  a  worm  at  one  end  and 

a  fool  at  the  other,  which  has  been  ascribed  to  Dr.  Johnson  or  Dean  Swift, 
existed  before  their  time  in  a  less  striking  form.  A  French  writer  of  the  sev- 
enteenth century,  named  Guyet,  has  these  lines  : 

La  ligne  avec  sa  canne  est  un  long  instrument, 
Dont  le  plus  mince  bout  tient  un  peiit  reptile, 
Lt  dont  ['autre  est  tcnu  par  un  grand  imbeciile. 

Flag.  If  any  one  attempts  to  haul  do-wrn  the  American  flag,  shoot 
him  on  the  spot.  This  famous  ]5hrase  occurred  in  a  telegram  sent  from 
Washington  by  John  A.  Dix,  January  29,  1861,  ordering  the  arrest  at  New 
Orleans  of  Captain  Breshwood,  commander  of  the  revenue  cutter  McCler- 
nand,  which  it  was  surmised  he  intended  to  turn  over  to  the  secessionists. 
Dix  was  then  Secretary  of  the  Treasury.  The  despatch  was  intercepted  at 
New  Orleans  and  never  reached  its  destination.  But  it  reached  the  public, 
and  that  was  better  still,  for  it  showed  them  that  the  policy  of  temporizing 
was  at  an  end. 

Flapdoodle.     According  to  Dean  Swift, — 

'lis  an  old  maxim  of  the  schools. 

That  flatterj-  s  the  food  of  fools ; 

Yet  now  and  then  your  man  of  wit 

Will  condescend  to  take  a  bit. 

Cadenus  and  Vanessa. 

And,  by  way  of  variety,  he  will  sometimes  take  flapdoodle,  which  is  the  same 
tiling  spelt  differently,  for  the  syllable  flap  is  derived  from  a  root  denoting  the 
act  of  stroking,  and  doodle  is  another  word  for  a  fool.  The  word  is  used  only 
humorously. 

"The  gentleman  has  eaten  no  small  quantity  of  flapdoodle  in  his  lifetime"  "What's 
that?"  .  .  .  "  It's  the  stuff  they  feed  fools  on." — Markyat:  /V^f?- 6>>«//^,  chap,  xxviii. 

Flapdoodle,  they  call  it,  what  fools  are  fed  on. — T.  Hughes:  Tom  Brown  at  Oxford, 
ch.  xii. 

Flapdoodle  or  Fopdoodle  is  also  used  to  designate  a  foolish  or  contem'ptible 
fellow : 

Where  sturdy  butchers  broke  your  noddle 
And  handled  you  like  a  fopdoodle. 

Butler  :  Hudibras. 

Flat-footed,  an  Americanism  for  firm,  downright,  direct,  firmly  resolved,  un- 
compromising, the  metaphorical  meaning  being  to  set  one's  foot  down  flat  or 
firmly.  "The  significance  of  this  word  in  America,"  says  R.  A.  Proctor,  very 
truly,  "is  very  different  from  that  of  the  French  word  pied-plat,  identical 
though  the  words  may  be  in  their  primary  meaning.  A  French  pied-plat  is  a 
contemptible  fellow  ;  but  an  American  ^ir/-y2w/  is  a  man  who  stands  firmly  for 
his  party.  When  General  Grant  said  he  had  'put  his  foot  down,'  and  meant 
to  advance  in  that  line  if  it  took  him  all  summer,  he  conveyed  the  American 
meaning  of  the  expression  flat-footed."  {Americanisms :  Knowledge,  June  i, 
18S7.) 

Flea  in  his  ear,  a  popular  expression  for  disconcerted,  rebuffed,  used  in 
such  phrases  as  "  1  sent  him  away  with  a  flea  in  his  ear,"  or  "  he  went  away  with 
a  flea  in  his  ear."  It  is  no  modern  slang,  for  it  may  be  found  in  John  Fletcher's 
"  Love's  Cure,"  Act  iii.,  Sc.  3  ;  in  Rabelais's  "  Pantagruel,"  Book  iii.,  ch.  vii.  and 
xxxi.  (1533) ;  in  Nash's  "  Pierce  Penniless"  (1592),  etc.  In  France  the  expres- 
sions "  avoir  la  puce  a  roreille"  and  "  mettre  la  puce  a  roreille"  are  at  least 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


375 


as  old  as  the  fourteenth  century  (Littre,  s.  v.  Puce),  and  corresponding  expres- 
sions are  to  be  found  in  Italian,  Spanish,  German,  and  probably  other  lan- 
guages. The  metaphor  undoubtedly  arose  from  the  physical  fact  that  fleas 
do  sometimes  penetrate  into  the  porches  of  the  ear, — a  fact  noticed  by  so 
ancient  an  authority  as  Celsus,  who  writes  (vi.  7,  §  59)  when  treating  of  the 
ear,  "Si  pulex  intus  est,  compellendum  eo  lanas  pauiulum  est;  quo  ipse  is 
subit,  et  simul  extrahitur." 

Flesh,  To  go  the  way  of  all,  a  euphemism  for  "  to  die."  It  is  evidently 
a  variation  from  Joshua  xxiii.  14  (or  I.  Kings  ii.  2),  "And  behold,  this  day  I 
am  going  the  way  of  all  the  earth."  The  substitution  of  flesh  for  the  earth 
does  not  occur  in  any  version  of  the  Bible.  Its  first  appearance  in  English 
literature  is  possibly  in  Webster's  "Westward  Hoe,"  Act  ii.,  Sc.  2  :  "  I  saw  him 
now  going  the  way  of  all  flesh."  But  the  fact  that  it  appears  almost  simul- 
taneously in  T.  Heywood's  "The  Golden  Age"  (1611),  ("  Whether  I  had 
better  go  home  by  land,  or  by  sea .'  If  I  go  by  land  and  miscarry,  then  I  go 
the  way  of  all  flesh")  seems  to  indicate  a  common  proverbial  origin. 

Fleshly  School  of  Poetry.  In  October,  1871,  an  article  bearing  this 
title  was  published  in  the  Contemporary  Review.  It  proved  to  be  a  bitter 
attack  upon  Swinburne,  Rossetti,  and  William  Morris,  whom  it  classed  to- 
gether as  leaders  of  a  school  of  poetical  debauchery  which  found  in  Arthur 
O'Shaughnessy,  John  Payne,  Philip  Bourke  Marston,  and  others,  its  humbler 
satellites.  Rossetti  was  the  chief  object  of  attack.  "  Mr.  Swinburne,"  in  Mr. 
Maitland's  opinion,  "was  wilder,  more  outrageous,  more  blasphemous,  and  his 
subjects  were  more  atrocious  in  themselves  ;  yet  the  hysterical  tone  slew  the 
animalism,  the  furiousness  of  epithet  lowered  the  sensation,  and  the  first 
feeling  of  disgust  at  such  themes  as  '  Laus  Veneris'  and  '  Anactoria'  faded 
away  into  comic  amazement.  It  was  only  a  little  mad  boy  letting  off  squibs  ; 
not  a  great  strong  man  who  might  be  really  dangerous  to  society.  '  I  will  be 
naughty!'  screamed  the  little  boy  ;  but,  after  all,  what  did  it  matter .?  It  is 
quite  difi"erent,  however,  when  a  grown  man,  with  the  self-control  and  easy 
audacity  of  actual  experience,  comes  forward  to  chronicle  his  amorous  sensa- 
tions, and,  first  proclaiming  in  a  loud  voice  his  literary  maturity  and  conse- 
quent responsibility,  shamelessly  prints  and  publishes  such  a  piece  of  writing 
as  his  sonnet  on  Nuptial  Sleep."  Here  is  another  gem  of  criticism  :  "  We 
get  very  weary  of  this  protracted  hankering  after  a  person  of  the  other  sex ;  it 
seems  meat,  drink,  thought,  sinew,  religion,  for  the  fleshly  school.  There  is 
no  limit  to  the  fleshliness,  and  Mr.  Rossetti  finds  in  it  its  own  religious  justi- 
fication. Whether  he  is  writing  of  the  holy  Damozel,  or  of  the  Virgin  her- 
self, or  of  Lilith,  or  of  Helen,  or  of  Dante,  or  of  Jenny  the  street-walker,  he  is 
fleshly  all  over,  from  the  roots  of  his  hair  to  the  tips  of  his  toes  ;  never  a  true 
lover  merging  his  identity  into  that  of  the  beloved  one  ;  never  spiritual,  never 
tender  ;  always  self-conscious  and  aesthetic."  As  to  the  imitators  of  Rossetti 
and  Swinburne,  what  is  really  most  droll  and  puzzling  in  the  matter  is  that 
they  really  seem  to  have  no  difficulty  whatever  in  writing  nearly  if  not  quite 
as  well  as  their  masters.  "  It  is  not  bad  imitations  they  offer  us,  but  poems 
which  read  just  like  the  originals  ;  the  fact  being  that  it  is  easy  to  reproduce 
sound  when  it  has  no  strict  connection  with  sense,  and  simple  enough  to  cull 
phraseology  not  hopelessly  interwoven  with  thought  and  spirit.  The  fact 
that  these  gentlemen  are  so  easily  imitated  is  the  most  damning  proof  of  their 
inferiority.  What  merits  they  have  lie  with  their  faults  on  the  surface,  and 
can  be  caught  by  any  young  gentleman  as  easily  as  the  measles,  only  they  are 
rather  more  difiicult  to  get  rid  of.  All  young  gentlemen  have  animal  facul- 
ties, though  few  have  brains;  and  if  animal  faculties  without  brains  will  make 
poems,  nothing  is  easier  in  the  world." 


376  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  article  made  a  ncuse.  On  December  2  the  Athencsum  made  known  the 
fact  that  Thomas  Maitland  was  in  reality  Robert  Buchanan.  Whereupon 
the  publisher  of  the  Contemporary  2l\\A  Mr.  Buchanan  himself,  each  of  his  own 
motion,  wrote  a  letter  to  the  Athenceutn.  These  effusions  were  printed  side  by 
side  in  the  issue  for  December  12,  and  pleased  all  connoisseurs  of  humor. 
The  publisher's  letter  read  like  a  distinct  denial.  "  You  might,"  he  said,  "  with 
equal  propriety  associate  the  article  with  the  name  of  Mr.  Robert  Browning, 
or  of  Mr.  Robert  Lytton,  or  of  any  other  Robert."  Mr.  liuchanan  said,  "  I 
certainly  wrote  the  article  on  '  The  Fleshly  School  of  Poetry,'  but  I  had  nothing 
to  do  with  the  signature.  Mr.  Strahan,  the  publisher  of  the  Contemporary 
Review,  can  corroborate  me  thus  far,  as  he  is  best  aware  of  the  inadvertence 
which  led  to  the  suppression  of  my  name." 

Mr.  Strahan  next  appealed  to  the /'(z// yJ/(z//  Gizs^/Zt',  complaining  that  the 
simultaneous  appearance  of  the  above  explan  .lions  had  made  him  look 
ridiculous, — a  complaint  v,'hich  showed  that  he  h.;il  some  perception  of  humor, 
— and  acknowledging  that  it  was  he  who  had  chosen  the  particular  pseudonyme 
of  "Thomas  Maitland."  Nevertheless  it  is  very  evident  that  the  suppression 
of  Buchanan's  name  was  not  the  result  of  inadvertence,  but  of  a  distinctly- 
avowed  desire  on  the  part  of  that  gentleman.  Mr.  Rossetti  and  his  friends 
protested  indignantly,  and  with  reason,  against  the  unfairness  of  one  writer  of 
poetry  disguising  himself,  like  a  bravo,  in  slouched  beaver  and  muffled  cloak, 
in  order  to  attack  his  more  successful  rivals,  and  indirectly,  if  not  directly,  to 
praise  himself.  For  "Thomas  Maitland"  referred  to  Mr.  Buchanan  byname, 
and  accused  Mr.  Rossetti  of  borrowing  ideas  from  his  verses. 

But  Mr.  Buchanan,  with  a  bravado  not  unnatural  under  the  first  smart  of  ex- 
posure, took  the  bull  by  the  horns  after  the  revelation  of  the  authorship  had 
been  made,  and  republished  the  article  in  pamphlet  form,  amplified  and  re- 
written, with  his  own  name  on  the  title-page.  The  nine-days'  wonder  proved 
a  very  tame  thing  in  a  fortnight,  and  the  whole  affair  survives  only  in  the 
arcana  of  literary  bric-a-brac. 

It  is  right  to  mention  that  Mr.  Buchanan  eventually  made  his  peace  with 
the  Fleshly  Poets.  The  dedication  of  his  novel  "God  and  the  Man"  (1882) 
is  as  follows  : 

To  AN  Old  Enemy. 

1  would  have  snatched  a  bay-leaf  from  thy  brow, 

Wronging  a  chaplet  on  an  honored  head  : 
In  peace  and  charity  I  bring  thee  now 

A  lily-flower  instead. 

Pure  as  thy  purpose,  blameless  as  thy  song, 

Sweet  as  thy  spirit  may  this  offering  be  : 
Forget  the  bitter  blame  that  did  thee  wrong, 

And  take  this  gift  from  me. 

Fleur-de-Lis,  the  heraldic  device  of  the  Bourbons  and  of  France,  so  called 
from  the  fancy  that  it  represented  three  flowers  of  the  white  lily,  as  in  England 
it  was  called  flower-de-luce  on  the  hypothesis  that  it  was  a  representaticjn  of 
the  white  iris.  But  the  Jleur-de-lis  is  not,  properly  speaking,  a  lily,  nor  even  a 
flower.  The  resemblance  to  a  lily  is  very  remote,  even  if  you  call  the  lily  a 
conventional  one.  Some  historians,  indeed,  hold  that  it  is  the  figure  of  a  reed 
in  blossom,  used  instead  of  a  sceptre  at  the  proclamation  of  Frankish  kings. 
Others,  with  more  likelihood,  insist  that  it  is  neither  a  reed,  a  lily,  nor  any 
other  member  of  the  floral  family,  but  the  extremity  of  the  fra)icisque,  a  kind 
of  javelin  anciently  used  in  France.  A  fatal  objection  to  any  purely  French 
origin  of  the  symbol  is  that  it  was  early  an  ornament  of  sceptres,  robes,  and 
seals,  not  only  of  the  Merovingian,  but  of  Greek,  Roman,  Spanish,  and  English 
kings,  and  a  symbol  employed  by  many  noble  families  in  the  twelfth  and  thir- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  377 

teenth  centuries.  It  is  also  said  that  it  occurs  very  perfectly  sculptured  in 
head-dresses  of  Egyptian  sphinxes.  The  use  of  the  fleur-dc-iis  as  a  symbol 
of  royalty  in  France  cannot  be  traced  further  back  than  the  twelfth  century. 

But  away  with  history  !  Let  us  acknowledge  the  more  benign  influences  of 
legend  and  tradition,  and  restore  to  the  French  the  lily  in  spite  of  facts. 

There  are  many  complicated  legends  as  to  the  origin  of  the  Jlc'itr-de-lii. 
One  of  the  prettiest  tells  how  an  aged  hermit  in  the  reign  of  good  King  Ciovis 
saw  one  night  a  miraculous  light  stream  into  his  cell,  and  an  angel  appear  to 
him,  bearing  an  azure  shield  on  which  were  emblazoned  three  golden  lilies 
that  shone  like  stars.  The  celestial  visitor  commanded  the  hermit  to  give  the 
sliield  to  the  pious  Clothilde.  By  her  it  was  presented  to  her  newly-converted 
husband,  who  discarded  in  its  favor  the  three  black  toads  which  had  hitherto 
been  his  device.  As  a  result,  the  armies  of  Ciovis  were  victorious  over  all  his 
enemies. 

Another  legend,  which  probably  has  a  substratum  of  historical  fact,  tells 
how  the  fleur-de-lis  is  corrupted  from  fleur-de-hice,  which  in  turn  came  from 
flettr-de-Loicis.  In  a.d.  1137,  Louis  VII..  setting  out  on  a  crusade,  chose  the 
purple  iris  as  his  heraldic  emblem.  Thus  it  became  the  fleur-de- Louis  (Louis's 
flower),  which  was  first  contracted  into  fleur-de-liue  and  afterwards  mio  fletir- 
de-lis,  or  lily  flower,  although  it  has  no  affinity  with  the  lily.  The  iris  is  still 
called  \\\G.  fleur-de-lis  in  the  French  provinces.  It  is  said  that  after  a  certain 
battle  fought  by  the  Crusaders  their  white  banner  was  found  to  be  covered  with 
these  flowers. 

At  lirst  the  national  flag  and  the  arms  of  France  were  thickly  sown  with 
fleur-de-lis,  but  the  number  was  reduced  to  three  in  the  reign  of  Charles  VI., 
about  the  year  13S1.  The  latter  monarch  is  also  said  to  have  added  the 
supporters  to  the  French  arms  in  consequence  of  an  adventure  that  happened 
to  him.  Hunting  in  the  forest  of  Senlis,  he  aroused  an  enormous  stag,  which 
eluded  the  dogs,  but  was  finally  secured  in  the  toils  of  the  net,  when  a  collar 
of  copper  gilt  was  found  around  his  neck,  with  the  inscription,  "  Hoc  mihi 
Caesar  donavit"  ("  Csesar  gave  this  to  me").  Subsecjuently  the  young  king 
dreamed  that  he  was  carried  through  the  air  on  a  winged  stag,  from  whicii  he 
added  two  winged  stags  for  supporters  of  the  arms  of  France. 

Perhaps  the  substratum  of  fact  to  which  we  have  already  alluded  was  some- 
thing like  this.  An  ancient  emblem  of  uncertain  origin  was  early  borne  upon 
the  arms  of  France.  Louis  VII.  profusely  charged  the  national  escutcheon 
with  the  same,  whence  it  gained  the  name  oi  fleur-de  Louis,  gradually  corrupted 
tnfleiir-delure.  At  first  the  emblem  was  associated  with  the  iris,  which  it  dimly 
resembles,  but  subsequently  the  confusion  of  names  identified  it  with  the  lily. 

It  may  be  mentioned  that  the  fleur-de-lis  appeared  on  the  arms  of  England 
from  the  time  of  Edward  HI.,  who  claimed  to  be  the  rightful  heir  to  the 
French  throne,  until  the  commencement  of  the  present  century,  when  George 
HI.  was  on  the  English  throne.  In  the  year  1800  Ireland  was  joined  to 
England,  and  modifications  were  called  for  both  in  the  king's  title  and  in  the 
national  arms.  The  title  of  King  of  France  was  then  dropped  and  the  fleur- 
de-lis  expunged  from  the  royal  quarterings. 

Since  the  French  Revolution,  the  fleur-delishAS  been  associated  with  the 
royalist  party  and  the  Bourbons.  It  was  proscribed  during  the  Reign  of 
Terror,  and  hundreds  of  persons  found  wearing  it  were  condemned  to  death. 
Wherever  it  was  conspicuously  seen  in  public  works  it  was  effaced  by  popular 
fury.  Napoleon  substituted  the  bee  in  its  stead  (some  historians  tell  us  that 
it  was  three  bees,  and  not  three  toads,  which  Ciovis  originally  bore  on  liis 
shield),  but  this  emblem  has  given  way  before  the  violet,  which  is  the  im- 
perialist flower  of  to-day. 

Flies.     There  are  no  flies  on  him,  an  American  term  of  jocular  com- 
32* 


378  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

mendation.  It  is  sometimes  extended  to  the  form  "  There  may  be  one  or  two 
on  you,  but  there  are  no  flies  on  me,"  or  on  Jones,  or  Robinson.  Flies  have 
always  furnished  a  convenient  term  of  semi-humorous  reproach,  and  their 
absence,  of  praise.  Thus,  Cervantes  says,  "  A  close  mouth  catches  no  flies" 
{Don  Quixote,  Part  i.,  Bk.  iii.,  ch.  xi.),  which  was  a  proverb  before  his  day. 
Macaulay,  in  a  letter  to  his  sister,  December  2i,  1833,  chronicles  his  first 
meeting  with  Bobus  Smith  :  "  He  is  a  great  authority  on  Indian  matters.  We 
talked  of  the  insects  and  snakes,  and  he  said  a  thing  which  reminded  me  of 
his  brother  Sydney:  'Always,  sir,  manage  to  have  at  your  table  some  fleshy, 
blooming  young  writer  or  cadet,  just  come  out,  that  the  mosquitoes  may  stick 
to  him  and  leave  the  rest  of  the  company  alone.'  "  "  A  fly  in  the  ointment"  is 
the  Biblical  analogy  for  "a  spot  on  the  sun."  In  1857  Landor  wrote  to  John 
Forster  ancnt  "Aurora  Leigh,"  "I  am  reading  a  lioem  full  of  thought  and 
fascinating  with  fancy.  ...  I  had  no  idea  that  anyone  in  this  age  was  capable 
of  writing  such  poetry.  There  are,  indeed,  even  here,  some  flies  upon  the 
surface,  as  there  always  will  be  upon  what  is  sweet  and  strong."  In  the  last 
two  quotations  there  is  no  humorous  intent.  Yet  the  second,  especially,  is  the 
exact  equivalent  of  the  American  phrase  in  its  less  frequent  affirmative  form. 

Flirtation.  "Even  in  common  conversation,"  writes  Lord  Chesterfield, 
with  reference  to  the  formation  of  new  words,  "  I  never  see  a  pretty  mouth 
opening  to  speak,  but  I  expect,  and  am  seldom  disappointed,  some  new  im- 
provement of  our  language.  I  remember  many  expressive  words  coined  in 
that  fair  mint.  I  assisted  at  the  birth  of  that  most  significant  word  flirta- 
tion, and  it  dropped  from  the  most  beautiful  mouth  in  the  world."  The 
owner  of  the  mouth  in  question  was  the  lovely  Lady  Frances  Shirley.  Ches- 
terfield continues,  "It  has  since  received  the  sanction  of  onr  most  accurate 
laureate  in  one  of  his  comedies.  Some  inattentive  and  undiscerning  people 
have,  I  know,  taken  it  to  be  a  term  synonymous  with  coquetry  ;  but  I  lay 
hold  of  this  opportunity  to  undeceive  them,  and  eventually  to  inform  Mr. 
Johnson  that  flirtation  is  short  of  coquetry,  and  intimates  only  the  first  hints 
of  approximation,  which  subsecjuent  coquetry  may  reduce  to  those  prelim- 
inary articles  that  commonly  end  in  a  definitive  treaty." — Tlie  IVorld,  No. 
lOi,  December  5,  1754;  also  quoted  in  "British  Essayists,"  vol.  ci.  p.  210. 

It  will  appear  that  the  meaning  given  the  word  by  its  co-originator  is  exactly 
the  modern  signification.  It  was  suggested  probably  by  the  practice  of 
flirting  the  fan, — i.e.,  moving  it  with  a  quick  short  motion. 

He  once  like  you  cowXA  Jlirt  a  fan, 
And  was  in  truth  a  pretty  man. 
But  died  by  drinking  whiskey. 

An  Ode  to  Lord  B,i rrington  ( 1 784). 

Now  flirting  at  their  length  the  streamers  play. 
And  now  they  ripple  with  the  ruffling  breeze. 

South  EV  :  Sonnet  XIX. 

Flovyers.  In  Longfellow's  popular  poem  of  this  name  the  first  stanza  is 
as  follows  : 

Spake  full  well,  in  language  quaint  and  olden. 

One  who  dwelleth  by  the  castled  Rhine, 
When  he  called  the  flowers,  so  blue  and  golden, 
—  Stars  that  in  earth's  firmament  do  shine. 

The  German  poet  alluded  to  is  Frederick  Wilhelm  Carove,  a  citizen  u{ 
Coblentz,  on  the  Rhine,  in  whose  "  Story  without  an  End"  a  water-drop  is 
represented  as  relating  her  personal  experiences,  when  suddenly 

the  root  of  a  forget-me-not  caught  the  drop  of  water  by  the  hair  and  sucked  her  in,  that 
she  might  become  a  floweret,  and  twinkle  as  brightly  as  a  blue  star  on  the  green  firmament 
of  earth. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  379 

Hood  a]so  says, — 

And  daisy  stars  whose  firmament  is  green. 

Plea  of  the  Midsummer  Fairies: 
and  Longfellow,  in  "  Evangeline,"  Part  I.,  3, — 

Blossomed  the  lovely  stars,  the  forget-me-nots  of  the  angels. 

Fly  in  amber,  a  very  common  figure  of  speech,  referring  to  the  property 
of  amber  as  enclosing  and  preserving  insects  of  past  ages,  and  used  in  regard 
to  insignificant  persons  or  events  whose  memory  has  been  preserved  through 
association  with  something  or  some  one  of  importance.     Thus,  Pope : 
Even  such  small  critics  some  regard  may  claim 
Preserved  in  Milton's  or  in  Shakespeare's  name. 
Pretty,  in  amber  to  observe  the  forms 
Of  hairs,  or  straws,  or  dirt,  or  grubs,  or  worms. 
The  things  we  know  are  neither  rich  nor  rare. 
But  wonder  how  the  devil  ihey  got  there  ! 

Epistle  to  Arbuthnot,  lines  169-172. 

In  the  last  line  did  Pope  remember  Dryden  .? — 

And  wonders  how  the  devil  they  durst  come  there. 

Prologue  to  "  The  Husband  his  own  Cuckold." 

And  did  Sydney  Smith,  in  his  turn,  remember  Pope  when  he  wrote  of  Can- 
ning, "  He  is  a  fly  in  amber  ;  nobody  cares  about  the  fly ;  the  only  question 
is.  How  the  devil  did  it  get  there .?"  (For  context  see  Diner-out  of  the 
Highest  Lustre.) 

This  peculiar  property  of  amber  has  been  noticed  by  many  writers,  ancient 
and  modern  : 

The  bee  enclosed  and  through  the  amber  shown 
Seems  buried  in  the  juice  which  was  his  own. 

Martial  :  Epigrams,  Book  iv;  (Hay's  translation). 
A  drop  of  amber,  from  a  poplar  plant. 
Fell  unexpected,  and  embalmed  an  ant ; 
The  little  insect  we  so  much  contemn 
Is,  from  a  worthless  ant,  become  a  gem. 

I  saw  a  flie  within  a  beade 
Of  amber  cleanly  buried. 

Herrick  :   On  a  Fly  buried  in  Amber. 

Whence  we  see  spiders,  flies,  or  ants  entombed  and  preserved  for  ever  in  amber,  a  more 
than  royal  tomb. — Bacon  :  Historia  Vita  et  Mortis  ;  Sylva  Sylvarum,  Cent.  L,  Exper.  100. 


Folding  bed.  Is  not  the  modern  folding  bed  poetically  anticipated  in 
Goldsmith's  "  Deserted  Village"  i" — 

The  chest,  contrived  a  double  debt  to  pay, — 
A  bed  by  night,  a  chest  of  drawers  by  day. 

In  this  couplet  Goldsmith  was  plagiarizing  from  himself: 
A  cap  by  night,  a  stocking  all  the  day. 

Description  0/  an  Author's  Bedchamber. 

Folk-lore.  This  expressive  compound  word  is  a  coinage  of  Mr.  W.  J. 
Thorns,  and  was  first  used  in  an  article  written  by  him  and  printed  in  the 
AthencBum,  August  22,  1846,  over  the  signature  "  Ambrose  Merton."  It  was 
supposed  to  have  been  an  adaptation,  formed  on  the  basis  of  the  German 
terms  volkslied  ("folk-song"),  volksvidhrchen  ("popular  fairy-tale"),  and  other 
similar  compounds,  of  which  it  seems  to  be  an  echo  ;  but  Mr.  Thoms,  in 
Notes  and  Queries,  October  6,  1872,  distinctly  claims  it  as  a  happy  invention 
of  his  own.  In  making  his  claim,  he  quotes  "  Coriolanus :"  "  Alone  I 
did  it." 

Among  the  proofs  of  his  [William  John  Thomas's]  happiness  of  hitting  upon  names  may 
be  cited  his  invention  of  the  word  io\V.-\oTS.— Notes  and  Queries,  sixth  series,  xii.  141. 


380  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

FooL  A  fool  and  his  money  are  soon  parted.  The  origin  of  this 
proverb  is  uncertain.  The  story  below  may  be  an  explanation,  and  is  given 
for  what  it  is  worth  : 

George  Buchanan,  historian,  scholar,  and  wit,  tutor  to  James  VI.  of  Scotland,  made  a  bet 
with  a  courtier  that  he  (Buchanan)  could  make  a  coarser  verse  than  the  courtier  ;  Buchanan 
won,  and,  picking  up  the  courtier's  money,  walked  off,  with  the  remark,  "  A  fool  and  his 
money  are  soon  parted." 

Words  are  wise  men's  counters,  they  do  but  reckon  by  them  ;  but  they  are  the  money  of 
fools, — HoBBEs:  Leviathan ,  Part  I.,  ch.  iv.  ; 

which  is  to  say,  in  the  words  of  Demaratus,  King  of  Sparta,  "  A  fool  cannot 
be  silent." 

Fool  in  the  middle,  The,  an  old  English  saying,  the  exact  contrary  of 
the  gallant  saying  which  is  applied  to  a  lady  seated  between  two  gentlemen, 
— "a  rose  between  two  thorns."     In  the  West  Riding  the  rhyme  is  current, — 

High  diddle  diddle. 

The  fool  in  the  middle. 

It  is  sometimes  explained  as  a  reference  to  a  piece  of  looking-glass  placed 
between  two  objects,  in  which  the  gazer  sees  his  own  face. 

At  a  tennis-party  the  other  day,  a  gentleman  and  lady  were  sitting  on  a  garden-seat,  watch- 
ing the  players.  When  a  very  charming  young  lady  had  finished  her  game,  the  gentleman 
called  to  her,  "  Come  and  sit  here,  there's  room  for  you."  She  replied,  "  I'll  sit  between  you. 
You  know  the  old  saying,  '  the  fool  in  the  middle.'  " — Cuthbert  Bkde,  in  Notes  and  Queries, 
seventh  series,  iv.  386. 

Fool-killer,  a  great  American  myth  imagined  by  editors,  who  feign  that  his 
or  its  services  are  greatly  needed,  and  frequently  alluded  to  as  being  "  around" 
or  "in  town"  when  some  special  act  of  folly  calls  for  castigation.  Whether 
the  fool-killer  be  an  individual  or  an  instrument  cannot  always  be  gathered 
from  the  dark  phraseology  in  which  he  or  it  is  alluded  to ;  but  the  weight  of 
authority  would  sanction  the  impersonal  interpretation. 

The  fool-killer,  in  the  mean  time,  has  not  been  idle.  With  his  old,  rusty,  unloaded  musket, 
he  has  gathered  in  enough  to  make  his  old  heart  swell  with  pride,  and  to  this  number  he  has 
added  many  by  using  "  rough  on  rats,"  a  preparation  that  never  killed  anything  except  those 
that  were  unfortunate  enough  to  belong  to  the  human  family.  Still,  the  fool-killer  has  missed 
a  good  many  on  account  of  the  great  rush  of  business  in  his  line,  and  I  presume  that  no  one 
has  a  greater  reason  to  be  thankful  for  this  oversight  than  I  have. — Bill  Nye  :  Remarks. 

Fools,  Feast  of,  a  kind  of  Saturnalia  common  in  the  Middle  Ages,  based 
on  the  Bacchanalian  orgies  of  paganism,  but  in  which  the  clergy  were  the 
actors,  and  which  resisted  for  long  the  censures  alike  of  the  Church  and  of  the 
civil  power.  The  bishops  elected  for  the  occasion  were  free  for  three  days  to 
travesty  the  costume  and  functions  of  true  dignitaries,  even  to  the  coining  of 
money.  It  was  precisely  in  the  sees  of  most  importance,  as  those  of  Paris, 
Amiens,  and  Sens,  that  these  "  feasts"  were  celebrated  with  most  pomp,  ex- 
travagance, and  license.  At  Notre  Dame  the  clergy  used  to  go  in  procession 
to  the  bishop-elect — a  deacon  or  sub-deacon — and  conduct  him,  with  all 
solemnity  and  amid  clang  of  bells,  to  the  episcopal  throne,  where,  with  feigned 
gravity,  he  pronounced  a  benediction,  which  his  buffoonery  turned  into  a  male- 
diction. A  parody  of  the  mass  followed,  with  circumstances  of  scandalous 
irreverence.  The  clergy  were  dressed  as  women,  buffoons,  etc.,  their  faces 
besmeared  with  soot  or  covered  with  masks  ;  they  played  dice  on  the  altar, 
ate  puddings  and  sausages  that  they  offered  to  the  "  officiant,"  burned  old 
shoes  on  the  censer  and  made  the  mock  priest  inhale  the  smoke,  etc.  After 
this  parody  of  the  eucharist  the  orgies  became  more  scandalous  and  revolt- 
ing, not  rarely  ending  in  riot  and  bloodshed.  Yet,  monstrous  as  it  was,  the 
fke  had  its  apologists.  There  exists  in  the  library  in  the  town  of  Sens  an 
"  Office  of  the  Feast  of  Fools,"  composed  by  the  archbishop  of  the  diocese 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  38 1 

in  1222.  We  read  of  a  bishop  of  Macon,  dying  so  late  as  1508,  who  be- 
queathed his  own  proper  robes  to  deck  the  Bishop  of  the  Fools.  Associate 
feasts  were  those  of  "  The  Innocents,"  "  The  Sub-Deacons,"  "  The  Ass," — 
all  celebrated  about  the  end  of  the  old  year  and  the  commencement  of  the 
new,  the  one  ceremony  leading  up  to  the  other.  Of  much  the  same  character 
were  the  festivals  of  "  The  A'^bbot  of  Unreason"  and  "  The  Boy-Bishop,"  in 
Great  Britain. 

Fools'  Paradise,  or  Limbus  Fatuorum.  The  Latin  word  limbtis  (a 
"  hem"  or  "  border")  is  used  to  designate  a  region  near  the  abode  of  the 
blessed,  but  yet  not  a  part  thereof.  Dante  located  limbo  between  hell  and  that 
"borderland"  where  dwell  "the  praiseless  and  the  blameless  dead."  The 
old  schoolmen  taught  that  limbus,  or  limbo,  had  four  divisions  :  first,  Limbus 
Pueroriiniy  for  unbaptized  children  ;  second,  Limbus  Patrtim,  for  the  patri- 
archs and  good  men  who  lived  before  Christ ;  third,  Lindms  Purgatorius, 
where  the  better  sort  are  cleansed  of  their  sins  ;  fourth,  Litnbiis  Fatuorum, 
for  fools,  idiots,  and  lunatics,  who,  not  being  responsible  for  their  sins,  are 
not  punished  in  hell  or  purgatory,  yet  cannot  be  received  into  heaven,  because 
they  have  done  nothing  to  merit  salvation. 

This  limbo  of  the  schoolmen  bears  a  close  analogy  to  that  of  the  Mussul- 
mans, as  described  in  the  Koran  under  the  name  oi  Al-Araf  {^"  \\\&  partition"). 
This  is  a  region  lying  between  Paradise  and  Jehennam,  and  designed  for  those 
who  are  morally  neither  good  nor  bad,  such  as  infants,  lunatics,  and  fools.  Its 
inmates  will  be  allowed  to  hold  converse  with  both  the  blessed  and  the  cursed. 
To  the  former  this  limbo  will  appear  a  hell,  to  the  latter  a  heaven.  Ariosto 
("Orlando  Fnrioso,"  xx.xiv.  70)  speaks  of  a  limbo  of  the  moon,  where  are 
treasured  up  all  precious  hours  misspent  in  play,  all  vain  efforts,  all  vows  never 
paid,  all  counsel  thrown  away,  all  desires  that  lead  to  nothing,  the  vanity  of 
titles,  flattery,  great  men's  promises,  court  services,  and  death-bed  alms. 

The  allusions  to  Limbo  in  our  earlier  literature  are  frequent.  Spenser 
("  Faerie  Queene,"  Book  i..  Canto  ii..  Stanza  32)  says, — 

What  voice  of  damnfed  ghost  from  Limbo  Lake 

Or  guileful  spright  wand'ring  in  empty  aire  .  .  . 

Sends  to  my  doubtful  eares  these  speaches  rare 

And  rueful  plaints,  me  bidding  guiltless  blood  to  spare? 

A  "  fools'  paradise,"  in  its  modern  acceptation,  is  not  a  locality,  but  a  mental 
condition,  the  dweller  in  which  indulges  in  illusive  expectations,  vain  hopes, 
and  insecure  or  unreal  pleasures  of  any  kind. 

Hence  the  Fools'  Paradise,  the  statesman's  scheme. 
The  air-built  castle  and  the  golden  dream  ; 
The  maid's  romantic  wish,  the  chemist's  flame. 
The  poet's  vision  of  eternal  fame. 

Pope  :  Dunciad,  Book  iii.,  1.  g. 

Milton,  however  ("  Paradise  Lost,"  Book  iii.,  1.  347  et  seq.),  uses  the  expres- 
sion in  somewhat,  at  least,  of  its  local  sense  : 

Both  all  things  vain,  and  all  who  in  vain  things 
Built  their  fond  hopes  of  glory  or  lasting  fame,  .  .  . 
All  th'  unaccomplished  works  of  nature's  hand. 
Abortive,  monstrous,  or  unkindly  mixed —  .   .   . 

all  these  upwhirled  aloft 

Fly  o'er  the  backside  of  the  world  far  off. 
Into  a  limbo  large  and  broad,  since  called 
The  Paradise  of  Fools,  to  few  unknown. 

It  is  in  its  metaphorical  sense  that  Shakespeare  makes  the  nurse  in  "  Romeo 
and  Juliet"  use  the  expression,  "You  lead  her  into  a  fools'  paradise."  In  a 
1549  edition  of  the  Bible,  IL  Kings  iv.  28  is  rendered,  "  Brynge  me  in  a 


382  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

fools'  paradyse."     Crabbe,  in  "The  Borough,"  uses  the    phrase  to  denote 
unlawful  pleasure  : 

In  this  fools'  paradise  he  drank  delight. 

Foolscap  is  so  called  from  the  fool's  cap  and  bells  that  was  formerly  water- 
marked upon  this  paper.  And  the  way  it  came  about  was  as  follows.  Charles 
I.,  in  order  to  increase  his  revenues,  disposed  of  certain  privileges,  amounting 
to  monopolies.  Among  these  was  the  manufacture  of  paper,  the  exclusive 
right  of  which  was  sold  to  certain  parties,  who  enriched  themselves  and  the 
government  at  the  public  expense.  At  that  time  all  English  paper  bore  the 
royal  arms  in  water-marks.  The  Parliament  under  Cromwell  made  sport  of 
this  law  in  every  possible  manner,  and  among  other  indignities  to  the  royal 
memory  it  was  ordered  that  a  fool's  cap  and  bells  should  be  substituted  as 
a  water-mark.  When  the  Rump  Parliament  was  prorogued,  these  were 
removed  ;  but  paper  of  the  size  of  the  Parliamentary  journals,  about  seventeen 
by  fourteen  inches,  still  retains  the  name  foolscap. 

In  a  statute  of  Queen  Anne,  a  particular  kind  of  paper  is  called  "  Genoa 
foolscap."  It  has  been  suggested  that  the  word  foolscap  is  a  corruption  of 
the  Italian  "  foglio  capo,"  a  chief  or  full-sized  sheet  of  paper,  and  even  that 
it  is  a  corruption  of  "  folio  shape,"  the  last  suggestion  coming  from  De  Vere, 
"Studies  in  English,"  page  167;  but  the  above  explanation  of  its  origin  is 
doubtless  the  correct  one. 

Foot.  One  foot,  or,  less  commonly,  one  leg,  in  the  grave,  a  colloquialism 
applied  to  one  who  has  some  lingering  disease,  or  who,  in  another  common 
phrase,  is  on  his  last  legs. 

People  with  one  leg  in  the  grave  are  so  terribly  long  before  they  put  in  the  other.  They 
seem,  like  birds,  to  repose  better  on  one  leg. — Douglas  Jerrold. 

I  begin  to  think  our  custom  as  to  war  is  a  mistake.  Why  draw  from  our  young  men  in  the 
bloom  and  heyday  of  their  youth  the  soldiers  who  are  to  fight  our  battles?  Had  I  my  way, 
no  man  should  go  to  war  under  fifty  years  of  age,  such  men  having  already  had  their  natural 
share  of  worldly  pleasures  and  life's  enjoyments.  And  I  don't  see  how  they  could  make  a 
more  creditable  or  more  honorable  exit  from  the  world's  stage  than  by  becoming  food  for 
powder,  and  gloriously  dying  in  defence  of  their  home  and  country.  Then  I  would  add  a 
premium  in  favor  of  recruits  of  threescore  years  and  upwards,  as,  virtually  with  one  foot  in 
the  grave,  they  would  not  be  likely  to  run  away.— Hawthorne  :  Letter  to  F.  Bennoch,  1861. 

Foot.  To  put  one's  foot  in  it,  a  colloquialism  meaning  to  commit  a 
blunder  or  faux  pas,  to  ruin  some  scheme  or  enterprise  by  an  awkward  inad- 
vertence. The  original  expression  seems  to  have  been,  "  The  bishop  has  put  his 
foot  in  it,"  said  of  soup  or  milk  when  it  was  burnt.  Grose  explains  the  allusion 
as  meaning  that  when  the  bishop  passes  by  in  procession,  the  cook  runs  out 
to  get  a  blessing  and  leaves  whatever  she  may  be  cooking  to  take  its  chance 
of  burning.  As  far  back  as  1528,  Tyndale,  in  "The  Obedyence  of  a  Chrysten 
Man,"  offers  another  though  less  likely  explanation  :  "  When  a  thing  spreadeth 
not  well  we  borrow  speech  and  say  the  Bishop  hath  blessed  it,  because  that 
nothing  spreadeth  well  that  they  meddle  withal.  If  the  podech  [pottage]  be 
burned  to,  or  the  meat  over-roasted,  we  say  the  Bishop  hath  put  his  foot  in 
the  pot,  or  the  Bishop  hath  played  the  cook.  Because  the  Bishops  burn  who 
they  lust  and  whosoever  displeases  them."  It  was  only  natural  that  when  the 
original  sense  of  the  words  had  lapsed  from  the  popular  mind,  the  metaphor 
should  have  been  taken  in  a  semi-literal  sense  as  implying  awkwardness  on  the 
part  of  the  bishop  or  other  person  who  "  put  his  foot  in  it."  A  correspondent 
of  Notes  and  Queries  says,  "  I  have  heard  a  similar  remark  in  French  Flanders 
applied  to  the  soup  and  referring  to  the  procession  of  the  host  through  the 
streets."  The  phrase  pas  de  clerc  ("  priest's  foot")  is  used  figuratively  and 
familiarly  in  France  for  a  fault  committed  by  ignorance  or  imprudence,  and  is 
recognized  by  the  dictionary  of  the  French  Academy. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  383 

Pop.  Originally  a  fool  pur  sang:  "  Foppe,  i.  q.  folet"  {Prompt.  Parv., 
p.  170). 

The  solemn  fop,  significant  and  budge  ; 
A  fool  with  judges,  amongst  fools  a  judge. 

CowpER  :  Conversation,  1.  299. 
Thus,  foppery  is  synonymous  with  folly  in 

Let  not  the  sound  of  shallow  foppery  enter  my  sober  house. 
Merchant  of  Venice,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  5. 
His  praising  is  full  of  nonsense  and  scholastic  foppery. 

Milton  :  Apology /or  Smectymnuus. 

Its  originally  secondary — now  its  principal — meaning,  as  a  synonyme  for 
dandy,  came  in  with  the  Restoration  : 

Now  a  French  Fop,  like  a  Poet,  is  born  so,  and  wou'd  be  known  without  cloaths  ;  it  is  his 
Eyes,  his  Nose,  his  Fingers,  his  Elbows,  his  Heels;  they  Dance  when  they  Walk,  and  Sing 
when  they  speak. — C.  Burnaey  :   The  Reform  d  Wife,  p.  32. 

The  Universal  Magazine  for  1777  gives  a  poetical  "Receipt  to  make  a 
modern  Fop  :" 

Two  tons  of  pride  and  impudence. 
One  scruple  next  of  modesty  and  sense, 
Two  grains  of  truth.     Of  falsehood  and  deceit 
And  insincerity  a  hundred-weight. 
Infuse  into  the  skull,  of  flashy  wit 
And  empty  nonsense,  quantum  sufficit. 
To  make  the  composition  quite  complete. 
Throw  in  th'  appearance  of  a  grand  estate, 
A  lofty  cane,  a  sword  with  silver  hilt, 
A  ring,  two  ivatches,  and  a  snuff-box  gilt, 
A  gay,  eflTeminate,  embroidered  vest. 
With  suitable  attire— /r()^a^«;«  est. 

The  mention  of  the  two  watches  is  an  allusion  to  a  then  existing  foppish 
fashion  of  wearing  a  watch  and  fob  on  each  side. 

Forgeries,  Literary.  At  the  close  of  the  year  1890  there  died  in  an  Alba- 
nian village  a  most  remarkable  character. 

His  name  was  Alcibiades  Simonides.  He  was  a  native  of  the  island  of 
Syrene,  opposite  Caria,  where  he  was  born  in  1818.  He  had  many  accom- 
plishments. He  was  eminent  as  a  chemist,  an  artist,  and  a  lithographer.  His 
learning  was  profound  ;  he  was  a  fluent  and  persuasive  speaker  ;  he  was 
gifted  with  extraordinary  industry.  Being  fortunate  enough  to  lack  a  con- 
science, he  utilized  all  these  talents  by  becoming  a  forger  of  ancient  docu- 
ments. His  first  public  appearance  was  in  Athens  at  the  age  of  thirty-five, 
when  he  laid  before  the  King  of  Greece  a  number  of  apparently  priceless 
manuscripts.  Many  were  works  whose  total  disappearance  has  long  been 
mourned  by  scholars.  He  gave  a  plausible  explanation  of  how  these  docu- 
ments had  come  into  his  possession.  His  uncle  and  himself  had  discovered 
them  in  the  cloister  Chilandari  on  Mount  Athos.  He  was  confronted  with 
some  of  the  most  Jearned  scholars  in  Athens,  and  satisfied  them  of  the  gen- 
uineness of  his  discoveries.  The  king  ended  by  buying  the  most  interesting  of 
the  lot  for  ten  thousand  dollars. 

In  a  year  he  was  back  with  a  fresh  lot,  among  them  an  ancient  Homer 
written  on  lotos-leaves,  with  an  accompanying  commentary  by  Eustathius. 
The  king's  mouth  watered  at  the  sight.  But  he  could  only  spare  money 
enough  to  purchase  half  the  documents.  The  remainder  he  recommended 
for  purchase  to  the  University  of  Athens.  A  commission  of  twelve  scholars 
was  appointed  to  examine  the  treasure  trove.  Eleven  reported  in  favor  of 
their  genuineness  ;  the  twelfth.  Professor  Mavraki,  was  sceptical,  and  called 
for  another  examination.      Then  it  was  discovered  that  Simonides's  Homer 


384  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

reproduced  all  the  misprints  of  Wolff's  edition.  He  was  called  upon  for  an 
explanation,  but  it  was  found  that  he  had  already  disappeared,  with  the  king's 
money  in  his  pocket. 

Years  passed.  The  exploits  of  Simonides  were  almost  forgotten.  Then  a 
stranger  turned  up  in  Constantinople  with  a  number  of  valuable  manuscripts, 
a  palimpsest  history  of  the  kings  of  Egypt,  in  Greek,  by  Uranius  of  Alex- 
andria, an  old  Greek  work  on  hieroglyphics,  and  an  Assyrian  manuscript. 
The  learned  world  was  in  ecstasies.  Forty  thousand  dollars  was  soon  raised 
for  the  purchase  of  these  antiquities. 

The  palimpsest  manuscript  was  sent  to  Berlin,  its  authenticity  was  reaffirmed 
by  the  Academy,  and  Professor  Dindorf  offered  the  University  of  Oxford  the 
honor  of  giving  this  valuable  book  to  the  world.  The  work  had  actually  been 
begun.  The  Egyptologist  Lepsius,  who  naturally  wished  to  know  how  far 
Uranius  supported  or  demolished  his  own  theories,  asked  to  see  the  early 
sheets,  and  speedily  discovered,  with  disappointment  and  amusement,  that  the 
book  was  little  more  than  a  translation  into  indifferent  Greek  of  portions  of 
the  writings  of  Bunsen  and  himself  The  press  was  stopped  at  once  ;  the 
manuscript  was  submitted  to  microscopic  experts,  and  it  was  found  that  the 
layer  of  writing  which  had  been  nominally  restored  was  more  recent  than  the 
layer  which  had  been  effaced  :  the  pretended  old  ink  overlaid  the  new. 

Simonides  (for  it  was  he)  was  called  upon  for  an  explanation,  but  again  he 
had  disappeared.  lie  now  varied  his  scheme.  At  his  next  appearance  he 
claimed  that  he  was  the  possessor  of  an  ancient  manuscript,  dating  from  the 
time  when  the  French  and  the  Venetians  ruled  over  Constantinople,  which 
contained  a  record  of  the  burial-places  of  many  valuable  manuscripts.  After 
being  rebuffed  in  one  or  two  quarters,  he  applied  to  Ismail  Pasha,  the  Min- 
ister of  Public  Works.  Ismail  was  in  his  harem  when  Simonides  called,  so 
the  latter  busied  himself  with  an  exploration  of  the  garden. 

When  the  pasha  appeared,  Simonides  informed  him  that  this  very  garden 
was  mentioned  in  his  manuscrii)t.  The  pasha's  interest  was  excited.  He 
consented  to  make  a  trial  excavation.  By  Simonides's  direction,  work  was 
begun  under  a  fig-tree.  In  a  very  few  minutes  a  curious  old  box  was  dug  up. 
Within  it  lay  a  poem  in  manuscript,  ostensibly  written  by  Aristotle. 

The  jiasha,  overjoyed,  filled  the  cunning  forger's  hand  with  Turkish  coins. 
But  when  the  gardener  heard  of  the  discovery,  he  quietly  lemarked  that  the 
fig-tree  in  question  had  been  transplanted  just  twenty  years  before,  and  that 
all  the  adjacent  ground  had  been  thoroughly  dug  up  at  that  time. 

Again  Simonides  disappeared  before  he  could  be  brought  to  justice.  Not 
the  vanishing  lady  herself  had  a  more  useful  and  mysterious  gift  of  disappear- 
ance at  the  opportune  moment.  But  he  attempted  another  bit  of  imposition 
upon  a  Turkish  magnate  before  he  left  the  Orient.  He  told  Ibrahim  Pasha 
that  an  Arabian  manuscript  was  buried  in  a  certain  spot.  The  workmen  dug 
and  found  nothing. 

"  Let  me  dig,"  said  Simonides. 

In  a  few  minutes  he  had  unearthed  a  bronze  box,  which,  being  opened,  dis- 
closed the  manuscript  in  question. 

But  a  dispute  arose.  A  laborer  swore  that  he  had  seen  Simonides  slip  the 
box  out  of  his  sleeve  into  the  hole.  Hard  words  were  exchanged.  At  last 
the  question  of  the  authenticity  of  the  manuscript  was  postponed  to  the  next 
day.     When  next  day  arrived,  Simonides,  of  course,  had  flown. 

Two  months  later,  Simonides  was  in  London.  English  scholars  were  greatly 
exercised  over  a  marvellous  manuscript  in  his  possession, — a  memorandum 
of  Belisarius  to  the  Emperor  Justinian.  Finally  the  Duke  of  Sutherland 
bought  it  for  three  thousand  two  hundred  dollars,  and  also  paid  one  thousand 
dollars  for  a  letter  from  Alcibiades  to  Pericles. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  385 

Again  Sinionides  disappeared  before  the  fraud  was  discovered.  The  learned 
world  hoped  they  had  heard  the  last  of  him.  But  one  day  he  was  caught  in 
an  Iberian  cloister  in  the  act  of  making  some  additions  to  an  ancient  manu- 
script. At  that  time  he  had  assumed  the  name  of  Baricourt.  He  was 
promptly  recognized,  was  banished  from  the  country,  and  a  warning  against 
him  was  published  far  and  wide.  From  that  time  till  the  day  of  his  death  he 
emerged  once  or  twice  from  his  obscurity  with  a  forged  manuscript,  but  was 
promptly  exposed. 

Simonides  was  the  last,  and  in  some  respects  the  greatest,  of  the  long  line 
of  literary  forgers.  He  will  probably  not  want  for  successors.  Credulity  is  a 
phenomenon  of  persistent  recurrence  in  the  history  of  the  race,  and  is  as 
common  among  experts  as  among  the  ignorant.  Learned  ignorance — i.e.,  the 
lack  of  any  knowledge  of  the  world  and  of  its  pursuits  save  one  absorbing 
object  of  study — is  commonly  accompanied  by  a  curiosity  the  restricted  scope 
of  which  only  renders  it  the  more  morbidly  active.  But  frauds  which  take 
advantage  of  this  curiosity  are  not  the  gross  and  vulgar  frauds  addressed  to 
ignorance  pure  and  simple.  They  must  be  contrived  with  special  skill,  so  as 
to  appeal  to  the  ruling  passion  of  the  victims  and  arouse  their  enthusiasm, 
without  appearing  to  offend  the  conditions  of  which  their  experience  qualifies 
them  to  judge. 

The  history  of  literary  forgeries  is  almost  inexhaustible.  The  motives 
which  have  governed  the  forgers  are  many :  piety,  greed,  ambition,  a  love  of 
hoaxing,  a  spirit  of  wanton  mischief,  a  love  of  notoriety, — these,  roughly 
speaking,  are  the  chief,  but  they  are  subject  to  infinite  differentiations.  There 
is  the  pious  fraud,  for  example.  How  Protean  are  the  shapes  it  may  assume  ! — 
the  fraud  that  is  meant  to  bolster  up  a  personal  claim  to  inspiration,  and  so  is 
closely  allied  to  greed  or  to  ambition  ;  the  fraud  that  adds  the  final  argument 
in  favor  of  a  doctrine  essential  to  salvation,  and  so  is  philanthropic  and 
humanitarian  ;  the  fraud  that  flatters  the  vanity  of  the  theologian  ;  the  fraud 
which  real  scholars  have  committed  or  connived  at  in  support  of  some  opinion 
which  they  truly  and  earnestly  held  ;  the  fraud  which  is  all  a  fraud  ;  the  fraud 
which  half  deceives  the  impostor  himself;  and  so  on,  and  so  on. 

The  greatest  of  early  foigers  was  Onomacritos,  the  Athenian  poet,  the 
trusted  guardian  of  the  ancient  oracles  of  Musaeus  and  Bacis.  One  night  he 
was  caught  by  the  son  of  a  rival  poet  in  the  very  act  of  tampering  with  the 
oracles  of  the  Greek  Thomas  the  Rhymer, — interpolating  a  prediction  that 
"  the  isles  near  Lemnos  shall  disappear  under  the  sea." 

Pisistratus,  who  was  then  tyrant  of  Athens,  expelled  Onomacritos  from  the 
city.  But  the  discovery  of  his  guilt  proved  in  the  long  run  very  favorable  to 
the  reputation  of  Musseus  and  Bacis,  for  whenever  one  of  their  prophecies 
failed,  people  merely  said,  "  That  is  one  of  the  forgeries  of  Onomacritos,"  and 
so  passed  the  matter  over. 

And  Onomacritos — what  became  of  him? 

He  seems  to  have  continued  in  his  career  of  deception.  He  is  now  believed 
to  have  been  the  real  author  of  the  poems  which  the  ancients  attributed  to 
Orpheus,  the  companion  of  Jason.  In  his  declining  days  he  deceived  Xerxes 
into  attempting  his  disastrous  expedition  by  "  keeping  back  the  oracles  unfa- 
vorable to  the  barbarians"  and  putting  forward  any  that  seemed  favorable.  A 
crowd  of  imitators  succeeded  him.  Indeed,  the  later  forgeries  of  the  Greeks 
are  not  to  be  numbered.  The  letters  of  Socrates,  of  Plato,  of  Phalaris,  the 
lives  of  Pythagoras  and  of  Homer,  many  of  the  later  oracles,  the  "Battle  of 
the  Frogs  and  Mice," — all  these  and  a  hundred  others  we  owe  to  the  Chatter- 
tons  of  antiquity.  Indeed,  according  to  Professor  Paley  and  other  scholars, 
the  Iliad  and  the  Odyssey  that  we  know  to-day  are  not  the  Iliad  and  the 
Odyssey  that  were  known   to  Herodotus,  for  the  real  epics  had  fallen  into 

R         s  33 


386  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

obscurity  and  been  lost  in  their  entirety  when,  in  the  time  of  Pericles,  a  Greek 
Macpherson  arose,  who  from  ancient  epic  materials  constructed  new  books 
of  his  own,  and  deceived  all  the  learned  world  from  that  day  to  the  time  of 
Professor  Paley. 

Thank  heaven  for  Paley  ! 

The  age  from  Pisistratus  to  Pericles  was  a  great  age  for  forgeries.  But  it 
was  surpassed  by  the  Alexandrian  period.  When  the  rival  dynasties  of  Alex- 
andria and  of  Seleucia  began  emulously  to  collect  rare  books,  it  is  reported 
that  the  Greeks  freely  forged  early  copies  of  Homer,  Hesiod,  and  the  dram- 
atists. When  the  Christian  religion  triumphed,  impostors  of  a  pious  turn  of 
mind  forged  texts  as  well  as  copies.  The  works  of  Dionysius  the  Areopagite, 
which  were  first  exposed  by  Erasmus,  and  the  epistle  in  which  Abgarus 
describes  our  Lord,  are  some  of  the  notable  instances.  Forged  gospels  also, 
and  epistles  and  decretals,  abounded,  not  only  in  Alexandria,  but  elsewhere  in 
the  cultivated  and  Christian  world.  The  story  of  the  "False  Decretals"  is 
famous  in  ecclesiastical  history.  They  were  put  forth  in  the  pontificate  of 
Nicholas  I.  as  portions  of  a  new  code,  which  to  former  authentic  documents 
added  fifty-nine  letters  and  decrees  of  the  twenty  oldest  popes  from  Clement 
to  Melchiades.  As  they  asserted  the  supremacy  of  the  Bishop  of  Rome  and 
were  full  and  minute  on  church  property,  their  authenticity  was  not  too  closely 
questioned  by  ecclesiastical  scholars.  But  Rabelais  made  unending  fun  of 
them  in  "  Pantagruel." 

The  Renaissance  was  marked  by  a  fresh  crop  of  classical  forgeries.  When 
the  great  works  of  pagan  antiquity  were  once  more  studied  and  admired, 
when  genuine  manuscripts  were  continually  being  recovered  by  the  zeal  of 
scholars,  when  the  whole  learned  world  was  on  the  qui  vive,  the  forger  natu- 
rally found  himself  in  his  element.  Indeed,  a  startling  theory  has  been  put 
forth,  and  ingeniously  defended,  by  one  Hardouin.  He  maintained  that  all  the 
so-called  ancient  classics,  with  a  very  few  exceptions  which  he  named,  were 
productions  of  a  learned  but  unconscionable  company  which  worked  in  the 
thirteenth  century  under  Severus  Archontius.  Hardouin's,  it  will  be  seen, 
was  a  more  revolutionary  spirit  than  even  Professor  Paley's. 

Annius,  whose  real  name  was  Nanni,  was  a  notable  impostor.  He  was 
born  in  Viterbo  in  1432,  and,  though  he  wrote  a  rather  creditable  history  of 
the  Turks,  he  is  best  known  by  his  forgeries  of  ancient  authors,  which  he 
published  under  the  title  "  Antiquitatum  Variarum  Volumina  XVH.,  cum  com- 
ment. Fr.  Jo.  Annii."  These  supposed  fragments  of  antiquity  contained  poems 
by  Archilochus,  treatises  by  Manetho  and  Cato,  and,  most  valuable  of  all,  the 
historical  writings  of  Fabius  Pictor.  It  is  a  moot  question  whether  Annius  was 
a  knave  or  a  dupe  of  others.     But  it  is  certain  that  his  discoveries  were  frauds. 

Pope  Alexander  Borgia,  however,  believed  in  him,  and  made  him  Maitre  du 
Palais.  With  Caesar  Borgia,  Annius's  relations  were  less  cordial,  and  there  is 
even  a  pleasant  suspicion  that  he  was  finally  poisoned  by  the  nephew  of  his 
father,  in  1502.  But  this  charge  was  always  brought  up  against  any  member 
of  the  engaging  family  of  Borgias  when  somebody  with  whom  his  or  her  rela- 
tions had  not  been  cordial  was  suddenly  taken  off. 

Other  famous  forgeries  of  the  Renaissance  were  the  pseudo  "  Consolations" 
of  Cicero,  really  written  by  Charles  Sigonius  of  Modena  ;  the  pseudo  additions 
to  the  "  Satiricon"  of  Petronius  Arbiter  (itself  a  book  that  is  decidedly  sus- 
pect), which  were  made  in  the  seventeenth  century  by  Fran9ois  Nodot  and 
one  Marchena,  a  writer  of  Spanish  books  ;  a  sham  Catullus  by  Corradino  of 
Venice  (1738)  ;  and  two  celebrated  works  of  devotion,  the  "  Flowers  of  The- 
ology" of  St.  Bernard,  which  were  really  the  work  of  Jean  de  Garlande,  and 
the  "  Eleven  Books  concerning  the  Trinity"  of  Athanasius,  which  have  been 
traced  to  Vigilius,  a  colonial  bishop  in  Northern  Africa. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  387 

In  England  the  eighteenth  century  was  distinguished  by  the  appearance  of 
three  of  the  greatest  literary  forgers  of  modern  times, — Macpherson,  Chatter- 
ton,  and  Ireland. 

The  Ossianic  question  is  too  perplexed  and  difficult  to  be  entered  on  here 
at  any  length.  That  such  a  poet  as  Ossian  was  actually  known  to  legend  at 
least,  if  not  to  authentic  history,  that  fragments  of  his  poetry  may  have  survived 
in  Gaelic  tradition,  are  among  the  possibilities,  if  not  the  probabilities,  of 
literature.  But  that  the  poems  accredited  to  this  ancient  bard,  which  were 
first  given  to  the  world  in  rhythmic  prose  versions  ("  Fingal"  in  1762  and 
"Temora"  in  1763)  by  James  Macpherson,  were  in  whole  or  in  major  part 
forgeries  is  now  a  settled  fact  of  literary  history. 

A  violent  and  protracted  controversy  greeted  them  on  their  appearance. 
Dr.  Johnson,  Hume,  and  Gibbon  attacked  them  at  once.  But  they  found 
defenders  in  Dr.  Blair,  Lord  Karnes,  and  other  famous  scholars. 

And  the  great  Napoleon — who  spelled  the  name  Ocean  and  pronounced 
it  heaven  knows  how — gave  additional  fame  to  this  mass  of  stilted  prose  by 
pronouncing  it  one  of  the  masterpieces  of  the  world. 

While  the  controversy  was  still  raging,  the  youthful  Chatterton  burst  upon 
the  astonished  world.  He  was  a  mere  boy,  hardly  more  than  fourteen,  when 
he  took  his  first  step  in  imposture  with  the  forgery  of  a  sham  feudal  pedigree 
for  Mr.  Bergum,  a  pewterer  of  Bristol.  The  success  of  this  imposition  decided 
his  career. 

In  1768  the  new  bridge  of  Bristol  was  opened.  A  paper  appeared  in  Far- 
ley's Journal,  of  that  city,  entitled  "A  Description  of  the  Friars  first  passing 
the  Old  Bridge,"  and  claiming  to  be  taken  from  an  ancient  manuscript.  It  was 
traced  to  Chatterton,  who  declared  that  he  found  the  paper  in  a  muniment 
chest  in  St.  Mary  Redcliffe's. 

Once  started  in  his  career,  Chatterton  drew  endless  stores  of  poetry  from 
the  muniment  chest.  He  ascribed  them  to  Rowley,  a  priest  of  the  fifteenth 
century.  They  were  true  poetry,  full  of  fire,  passion,  pathos.  They  were 
sufficiently  antique  in  manner  and  method  to  impose  on  Jacob  Bryant  and 
other  scholars.  But  when  Chatterton  sent  his  discoveries  to  Walpole  (him- 
self somewhat  of  a  mediaeval  imitator),  Gray  and  Mason  detected  the 
imposture.  Walpole,  his  feelings  as  an  antiquary  hurt,  took  no  further  notice 
of  the  boy. 

Chatterton  then  came  to  London,  ess^'^ed  writing  for  the  booksellers,  failed 
in  all  his  projects,  found  himself  face  to  face  with  starvation,  and  died  by  his 
own  hand  at  the  age  of  eighteen. 

William  Henry  Ireland  was  born  in  London  about  1776.  His  father, 
Samuel  Ireland,  engraved  in  aquatint,  and  published  illustrated  travels.  This 
father  was  at  the  same  time  an  amateur  of  old  books  and  prints,  a  species  of 
antiquary,  interested  particularly  in  whatever  concerned  Shakespeare,  on  the 
watch  for  documents  and  autographs.  The  son  evidently  early  learned  to 
ride  the  paternal  hobby.  A  journey  to  Stratford-on-Avon,  the  birthplace  of 
Shakespeare,  which  he  made  with  his  father,  doubtless  completed  the  work  of 
turning  all  his  thoughts  toward  the  great  dramatist  and  his  forgotten  or  ruined 
works.  What  happiness  for  young  Ireland  if  it  should  happen  to  him  to  find 
some  lines  of  that  precious  writing, — a  poem,  or,  who  knows .?  a  drama  !  But, 
finding  nothing,  why  should  he  not  make  a  pretence  of  having  found  some- 
thing ?  Why  not  imitate  the  example  of  Chatterton  ?  Why  iiot  give  his 
father  the  joy  of  pressing  at  last  to  his  heart  a  fragment  of  the  writings  of  the 
great  poet, — without  counting  the  pleasure  of  circulating  his  own  verses  under 
such  a  name,  of  agitating  the  whole  republic  of  letters,  of  duping  the  learned? 

It  seems  that  William  Ireland  began  by  deceiving  his  father  ;  but  it  is  diffi- 
cult to  believe  that  the  latter  did  not  later  become  the  accomplice  of  his  son. 


388  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

However  that  may  be,  the  young  man  was  only  nineteen  when  he  executed 
one  of  the  boldest  projects  that  ever  came  into  the  head  of  an  impostor.  It 
was  reported,  all  at  once,  that  Samuel  Ireland,  the  engraver  of  Norfolk  Street, 
was  displaying  manuscripts  some  of  which  were  by  Shakespeare's  own  hand, 
while  others  concerned  his  life  and  his  person.  He  got  them  from  his  son, 
who,  he  said,  had  found  them  among  some  old  papers  in  the  country-seat  of 
a  neighboring  gentleman.  As  for  the  name  of  this  gentleman,  the  Irelands 
were  not  at  liberty  to  make  it  known.  Among  the  documents  in  question 
had  been  found  a  will,  and  from  this  will  contentions  might  arise  ;  briefly,  the 
public  must  content  itself  with  a  knowledge  of  the  manuscripts,  without 
showing  itself  too  exacting  on  the  question  of  their  source. 

The  learned  world  was  thrown  into  ecstasies.  Men  of  letters,  antiquaries, 
and  curiosity-seekers  flocked  to  Mr.  Ireland's  house  to  test  the  genuineness 
of  the  relics. 

Few  living  scholars  were  more  erudite  than  Dr.  Parr,  Dr.  Valpy,  and  Dr. 
Joseph  Warton.  George  Chalmers  and  John  Pinkerton  were  experts,  specially 
skilled  in  old  .English  literature.  The  professional  antiquaries  were  well 
represented  by  Sir  Isaac  Heard,  Garter  King-at-Arms,  and  Francis  Town- 
shend,  Windsor  Herald  ;  and  miscellaneous  men  of  letters,  by  R.  B.  Sheridan, 
Sir  Herbert  Croft,  H.  J.  Pye,  the  poet-laureate,  and  James  Boswell. 

After  carefully  collating  the  principal  manuscripts  with  the  poet's  undoubted 
autographs,  these  critics  expressed  a  firm  conviction  of  their  authenticity, 
and  a  certificate  to  that  eflfect  was  numerously  signed.  A  collection  of  rarer 
literary  and  biographical  value  was  certainly  never  oflfered  to  the  world.  It 
comprised  the  entire  manuscript  of  "  Lear,"  varying  in  some  important  re- 
spects from  the  printed  copies  ;  a  fragment  of  "  Hamlet ;"  two  unpublished 
plays,  entitled  "  Vortigern"  and  "  Henry  the  Second  ;"  a  number  of  books 
from  the  poet's  library,  enriched  with  copious  marginal  notes ;  besides  let- 
ters to  Anne  Hathaway,  Lord  Southampton,  and  others,  a  "  Profession  of 
Faith,"  legal  contracts,  deeds  of  gift,  and  autograph  receipts.  The  external 
evidence  for  the  authenticity  of  these  precious  remains  was  pronounced  by 
the  attesting  critics  to  be  strikingly  confirmed  by  their  internal  evidence. 
The  inimitable  style  of  the  master  was  to  be  clearly  discerned  in  the  un- 
published writings. 

After  hearing  the  "  Profession  of  Faith"  read,  Warton  exclaimed,  "  We 
have  very  fine  things  in  our  Church  service,  and  our  Litany  abounds  with 
beauties  ;  but  here  is  a  man  who  has  distanced  us  all !" 

Boswell,  before  signing  the  certificate  of  authenticity,  fell  upon  his  knees  to 
kiss  "the  invaluable  relics  of  our  bard,"  and,  "in  a  tone  of  enthusiasm  and 
exultation,  thanked  God  that  he  had  lived  to  witness  the  discovery  and  .  .  . 
could  now  die  in  peace."  And  then,  being  thirsty,  he  went  out  and  drank 
hot  brandy-and-water. 

On  the  other  hand,  Sheridan,  after  weeks  of  persuasion  on  the  part  of  Dr. 
Parr,  blurted  forth,  with  an  oath,  "Well,  Shakespeare's  they  may  be;  but, 
if  so,  he  was  drunk  when  he  wrote  them  !" 

The  public  interest  excited  by  the  discovery  was  so  great  that  Mr.  Ireland's 
house  in  Norfolk  Street  was  besieged  by  visitors,  and  he  had  to  limit  their 
number  by  orders,  and  the  days  of  admission  to  three  in  the  week.  The  pub- 
lication of  the  manuscripts  by  subscription  was  soon  announced.  The  first 
volume  was  issued  in  1796,  at  the  price  of  four  guineas,  under  the  editorship 
of  Mr.  Ireland. 

Sheridan,  despite  his  own  scepticism,  was  eager  to  secure  the  unpublished 
play  of  "  Vortigern"  for  Drury  Lane,  of  which  he  was  then  lessee.  His  in- 
terest prevailed  over  that  of  Harris,  the  manager  of  Covent  Garden,  who 
oflfered  a  carte  blanche  for  the  privilege  of  representation.     Upon  payment  of 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  389 

three  hundred  pounds,  and  an  undertaking  to  divide  the  profits  for  sixty 
nights,  "  Vortigern"  was  made  over  to  Sheridan.  Linley  having  composed 
music  for  the  play,  and  prologues  being  written  by  the  Laureate  and  Sir  James 
Bland  Burgess,  it  was  announced  for  performance  in  the  spring  of  1796,  with 
John  and  Charles  Kemble  and  Mrs.  Jordan  in  the  leading  parts.  On  the  ap- 
pearance of  the  advertisements,  Edmund  Malone,  the  first  Shakespearian 
critic  of  the  day,  who  had  already  detected  the  spuriousness  of  the  published 
manuscripts  and  was  engaged  upon  an  elaborate  analysis  of  them,  warned  the 
public,  by  handbills,  to  put  no  faith  in  "Vortigern."  As  counter-bills  were 
immediately  issued  by  the  Irelands,  this  only  had  the  effect  of  stimulating 
curiosity  upon  the  subject.  John  Kemble,  however,  who  was  equally  per- 
suaded of  the  imposture,  though  bound  by  his  engagement  with  Sheridan  to 
take  the  part  assigned  to  him,  used  all  his  influence  as  stage-manager  to  make 
the  performance  ridiculous.  In  the  attempt  to  fix  it  for  April  Fool's  Day  he 
was  overruled,  but  succeeded  in  selecting  the  farce  of  "  My  Grandmother"  as 
an  after-piece.  To  secure  an  adverse  verdict  from  the  public,  he  is  said  to 
have  instructed  a  band  of  claqueurs  to  hiss  at  a  given  signal  ;  but  the  charge 
of  his  having  resorted  to  such  unworthy  tactics  rests  upon  very  doubtful  au- 
thority. The  house  was  crowded,  and  the  piece  received  a  quiet  hearing  until 
the  fifth  act  was  reached,  in  the  second  scene  of  which  a  speech  of  Vortigern's 
contained  the  ominous  line, — 

And  when  this  solemn  mockery  is  o'er. 

This  Kemble  delivered  with  marked  emphasis,  and  the  clamor  which  followed 
showed  that  his  shot  had  told.  Having  paused  for  a  moment,  he  repeated 
the  line  in  a  tone  of  such  sardonic  scorn  that  no  one  in  the  house  could  mis- 
take his  meaning,  and  the  rest  of  the  piece  was  inaudible. 

The  story  does  not  end  here.  William  Ireland  subsequently  (in  1796)  made 
a  full  confession  of  his  fraud.  But  the  confession  was  neither  humble  nor  con- 
trite ;  even  its  truthfulness  has  been  doubted.  All  through  he  appears  to  be 
laughing  at  the  public  whom  he  had  deluded.  He  tells  his  story  with  a  degree 
of  impudence  and  humor  which  makes  it  very  curious  reading.  One  is  in- 
clined to  pardon  the  scamp  for  the  sake  of  his  very  audacity.  He  takes  all 
the  blame  upon  himself,  and  is  at  much  pains  to  exonerate  his  father.  He 
had  had,  he  said,  but  a  single  confidant,  a  young  man  named  Talbot,  who  had 
surprised  him  one  day  in  the  very  act  of  forgery,  and  who  therefore  became 
necessarily  a  sharer  of  the  secret.  Ireland,  however,  gave  proof  of  skill  and 
energy.  Like  all  who  have  followed  the  same  business,  he  procured  paper 
by  tearing  out  the  blank  leaves  of  old  books.  He  was  careful  to  soil  them 
afterward,  particularly  on  the  edges,  in  order  to  give  them  an  ancient  air. 
The  ink  that  he  used  was  a  composition  which  turned  brown  when  exposed 
to  the  fire.  The  strings  that  tied  his  manuscripts  were  drawn  from  old  tapes- 
tries. He  had  altered  an  ancient  engraving,  bought  by  chance,  into  a  pre- 
tended portrait  of  Shakespeare  in  the  character  of  Shylock.  Unhappily  for 
him,  he  had  but  a  very  imperfect  acquaintance  with  the  handwntmg  of  the 
poet,  and  none  whatever  with  that  of  Elizabeth  or  Lord  Southampton,  so  that 
he  could  not  even  attempt  to  imitate  them. 

The  confessions  of  Ireland,  by  cutting  short  all  uncertainty,  only  irritated 
the  more  those  whom  he  had  deceived.  His  career  was  over.  He  could  not 
remain  in  England.  He  went  to  France,  where  he  lived  a  long  time.  There 
he  reappeared  during  the  Hundred  Days,  at  which  period  Napoleon,  heaven 
knows  for  what  services,  gave  him  the  Cross.  He  published  in  1822  a  rather 
curious  work  upon  this  epoch  and  the  second  Restoration.  He  passed  his 
life  in  writing  for  the  booksellers.  He  has  left  a  history  of  the  County  of  Kent, 
several  romances,  and  a  poem,— none  of  the  slightest  value.  The  author  has 
If' 


39P  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

had  the  strange  fate  of  being  himself  the  most  mediocre  of  writers,  yet  of 
passing  off  some  of  his  verses  under  the  name  of  the  greatest  of  poets.  He 
died  in  1835. 

Two  very  famous  forgeries  occurred  in  England  within  the  memory  of  men 
still  living. 

One  was  the  volume  of  Shelley's  letters  which  Moxon  published  in  1852. 
It  contained  twenty-five  letters,  said  to  have  been  written  by  the  great  poet  to 
various  of  his  friends.  They  were  neither  very  good  in  manner  nor  very  in- 
teresting in  matter.  Nevertheless,  the  most  unimportant  relics  of  a  great 
man  are  valuable.  Robert  Browning  himself  wrote  the  preface,  an  admirable 
summary  of  the  character  and  genius  of  Shelley, — the  finest,  almost  the  only, 
bit  of  prose  that  is  credited  to  Browning's  pen.  Of  course  the  book  made  a 
sensation.  The  sensation  was  increased  when,  a  few  weeks  after  its  issue,  it 
turned  out  to  be  a  fraud  upon  the  reading  public.  And  this  was  how  the 
discovery  was  made. 

Moxon  had  sent  copies  of  the  book  to  all  his  illustrious  clients.  Among 
these  was  Alfred  Tennyson.  Now,  it  happened  that  Mr.  Palgrave,  son  of  the 
historian,  was  visiting  Tennyson  at  the  time.  He  picked  up  the  volume  one 
day  as  it  was  lying  upon  the  table,  and  opened  it  at  a  letter  to  Godwin  which 
seemed  strangely  familiar.  He  read  on,  and  discovered  that  the  letter  was  a 
plagiarism  from  an  article  which  his  own  father  had  contributed  to  the  Quar- 
terly Review  in  1840. 

Moxon  was  at  once  informed  of  the  discovery.  He  was  greatly  astonished. 
He  had  purchased  the  letters  at  a  public  sale.  They  bore  every  mark  of 
authenticity.  The  handwriting  appeared  to  be  genuine.  The  seal  was  the 
poet's.  The  addresses  bore  the  stamp  of  various  Italian  post-offices  where 
he  had  lived.  The  upper  clerks  in  the  English  Post-Office  were  appealed  to, 
and  could  see  nothing  suspicious  in  these  stamps. 

Then  Murray  came  forward  with  some  letters  which  he  had  received  from 
Byron,  written  in  the  same  cities  and  at  the  same  time.  Comparison  was 
instituted.  It  was  found  that  the  post-marks  of  Venice  and  Ravenna  betrayed 
important  differences.  More  proof  was  speedily  produced.  At  the  same 
sale  where  Moxon  had  made  his  purchases,  the  son  of  Shelley  had  bought 
other  letters  of  the  poet,  which  were  filled  with  private  affairs  and  family 
secrets.  These  letters  were  found  to  be  at  utter  variance  with  fact.  More- 
over, other  letters  from  other  poets  (Byron  and  Keats)  had  been  purchased  by 
Murray.     From  internal  evidence,  these  also  were  adjudged  to  be  forgeries. 

Moxon  at  once  suppressed  his  book,  and  turned  his  attention  to  the  dis- 
covery of  the  forgers.  The  auctioneer,  it  seems,  had  received  all  his  docu- 
ments from  a  bookseller  named  White.  White,  in  turn,  explained  that  he 
had  bought  them  from  an  unknown  woman,  who  claimed  to  have  received 
them  through  Fletcher,  Byron's  faithful  servant.  But  further  search  re- 
vealed, behind  the  lady,  a  mysterious  individual  who  was  probably  the  author 
of  the  fraud.  This  was  an  adventurer  who,  bearing  a  striking  likeness  to 
Byron,  had  taken  his  name,  passed  himself  off  for  his  natural  son,  and,  al- 
though the  Byron  family  repulsed  his  pretensions,  had  at  one  time  almost 
succeeded  in  palming  off  on  a  publisher  some  inedited  remains  of  the  poet. 

He  had  disappeared  and  left  no  traces  behind  him.  Possibly  White  was 
not  very  anxious  to  betray  his  whereabouts.  That  gentleman  never  succeeded 
in  clearing  himself  with  the  public.  The  general  opinion  was  that  he  must  at 
least  have  had  his  suspicions,  and  that,  in  any  case,  he  had  profited  too  largely 
from  the  fraud  by  getting  out  of  the  affair  in  time  and  selling  for  three  hun- 
dred guineas  what  had  barely  cost  him  one  hundred. 

The  other  forgery  is  still  more  mysterious,  in  that  it  clouded  with  suspicion 
the  character  of  so  excellent  and  eminent  a  gentleman  as  Mr.  J.  Payne  Col- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


391 


lier.  In  1849  that  learned  Shakespearian  brought  to  public  notice  a  copy  of 
a  folio  Shakespeare  (second  edition).  It  was  greasy  and  imperfect,  but  was 
loaded  with  ancient  manuscript  emendations.  These  Mr.  Collier  was  inclined 
to  attribute  to  one  Thomas  Perkins,  whose  name  appeared  on  the  fly-leaf, 
and  who  might  well  have  been  some  relation  to  Richard  Perkins  the  actor 
{circa  1633).  A  further  presumption,  equally  plausible,  was  that  this  Mr. 
Perkins,  who  in  the  controversy  that  followed  got  to  be  familiarly  known  as 
"  the  Old  Corrector,"  had  marked  the  book  in  the  theatre  during  early  per- 
formances. 

The  controversy  did  not  break  out  at  once.  Shakespearian  scholars  ac- 
cepted with  great  eagerness  Mr.  Collier's  story  that  he  had  found  a  curious 
corrected  cojjy  of  the  old  folio  in  the  shop  of  a  bookseller  named  Rudd.  A 
parcel  of  second-hand  volumes,  it  appears,  had  arrived  from  the  country  one 
day  when  Mr.  Collier  happened  to  be  present,  and  when  the  parcel  was 
opened  the  bibliophile's  heart  began  to  sing,  for  among  them  was  the  volume 
in  question.  Not  till  after  the  purchase  did  Mr.  Collier  discover  the  emenda- 
tions of  the  Old  Corrector. 

And  it  was  not  till  1852  that  he  published  selections  from  them  in  his 
"Notes  and  Emendations,"  and  in  an  edition  of  the  "Plays."  Then  the 
controversy  broke  out.  It  was  conducted  with  doubt  and  hesitancy  at  first. 
No  one  liked  to  cast,  or  even  to  appear  to  cast,  any  reflections  upon  the  veracity 
of  Mr.  Collier. 

The  folio  was  exhibited  to  the  Society  of  Antiquarians,  and  finally  presented 
to  the  Duke  of  Devonshire,  who  lent  it  for  examination  to  the  British  Mu- 
seum. In  July,  1859,  Mr.  Hamilton,  of  the  Museum,  published  in  the  London 
Times  the  result  of  his  examination  of  the  Old  Corrector. 

And  then  it  turned  out  that  the  Old  Corrector  was  a  modern  myth. 

His  corrections  had  first  been  made  in  pencil  in  a  modern  hand,  then  they 
had  been  copied  over  in  ink  in  a  forged  ancient  hand.  The  ink  appeared  to 
be  ancient,  too  ;  buc,  in  fact,  it  was  not  ancient,  and  was  not  even  ink.  It  was 
a  mixture  of  sepia. 

The  entire  case  is  most  difficult  to  explain.  For  it  is  equally  hard  to  believe 
that  so  eminent  a  scholar  could  be  imposed  upon  as  that  so  respectable  a 
man  could  be  a  deliberate  cheat. 

Forget  and  forgive,  a  proverb  which  is  quoted  by  Shakespeare  in  "  King 
Lear,"  Act  iv.,  Sc.  7,  and  which  sums  up  one  of  the  greatest  and  most  difficult 
lessons  of  Christianity.  As  Mr.  W.  E.  Norris  very  cleverly  says,  "  We  may 
forgive  and  we  may  forget,  but  we  can  never  forget  that  we  have  forgiven." 
Or  we  may  forgive,  and  yet  hope  that  God  will  not  forget ;  we  will  withhold 
our  vengeance,  trusting  that  in  the  hands  of  the  Almighty  it  will  find  a  more 
skilful  marksman,  like  Lord  Herbert  of  Cherbury.  "I  never  used  revenge," 
says  this  amiable  Christian,  "as  leaving  it  alway  to  God,  who,  the  less  I 
punish  mine  enemies,  will  inflict  so  much  the  more  punishment  On  them." 

Heine  goes  further  than  his  lordship  : 

If  God  were  pleased  to  render  me  perfectly  happy,  he  would  permit  me  the  satisfaction  of 
seeing  about  six  or  seven  of  my  enemies  hanged  on  these  trees  ;  from  the  depth  of  my  heart 
1  would  forgive  them  all  the  wrong  they  had  inflicted  upon  me  during  their  lives.  Yes,  we 
must  forgive  our  enemies, — but  not  until  they  are  hanged  ! 

The  Old  Testament  counsel  to  return  good  for  evil,  in  order  to  humiliate 
your  enemy  (see  Coals  of  Fire),  is  in  much  the  same  spirit.  Far  finer  are 
the  lessons  of  the  New  Testament. 

In  the  words  of  Sir  Thomas  Browne,  "  To  forgive  our  enemies,  yet  hope 
God  will  punish  them,  is  not  to  forgive  enough"  ("  Christian  Morals,"  Part  i., 
sec.  XV.);  and  Milton  pertinently  asks,  "Is  it  Charity  to  cloath  them  with 


392  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

curses  in  his  Prayer,  whom  he  hath  forgiv'n  in  his  Discours  ?"  (Eikonok'astes, 
chap,  xxi.) 

Fine,  also,  is  Pope's  phrase, — 

To  err  is  human,  to  forgive  divine, — 
(see  HuMANUM  est  Errare), — which  finds  a  predecessor  in  Bacon's  Essay, 
"  Of  Revenge  :" 

Certainly,  in  taking  revenge,  a  man  is  but  even  with  his  enemy ;  but  in  passing  it  over,  he 
is  superior ;  for  it  is  a  prince's  part  to  pardon  :  and  Solomon,  I  am  sure  [in  which  confidence 
his  lordship  was  mistaken,  for  Solomon  doth  not],  saiih,  "  It  is  the  glory  of  a  man  to  pass  by 
an  offence." 

In  his  Life  of  Pittacus,  Diogenes  Laertius  quotes  from  Heraclitus  the  story 
that  when  Pittacus  had  got  Alcaeiis  into  his  power  he  released  him,  saying, 
"  Forgiveness  is  better  than  revenge."  Epictetus,  quoting,  in  his  turn,  from 
the  same  source,  gives  the  phrase  thus  :  "  Forgiveness  is  better  than  punish- 
ment ;  for  the  one  is  proof  of  a  gentle,  the  other  of  a  savage,  nature." 
George  Chapman  says, — 

Virtue  is  not  malicious ;  wrong  done  her 
Is  righted  even  when  men  giant  they  err. 

Monsieur  D' Olive,  Act  i.,  Sc.  i. 

Yet,  though  injured  virtue  is  not  malicious,  injurious  guilt  is.  We  all 
remember  how  Lord  Macaulay  lashed  Lord  Mahon  for  forgetting  or  not 
knowing  that  couplet  of  Dryden's, — 

Forgiveness  to  the  injured  does  belong  ; 

But  they  ne'er  pardon  who  have  done  the  wrong, — 

Conquest  of  Granada,  Part  ii..  Act  i.,  Sc.  2 ; 

— a  couplet  which,  as  Macaulay  says,  embodies  what  has  now  been  for  many 
generations  considered  a  truism  rather  than  a  paradox.  Here,  for  example, 
are  a  few  of  its  predecessors  : 

Quos  Iseserunt  et  oderunt  ("  Whom  they  have  injured  they  also  hate"). — Seneca  :  De  Ira, 
lib.  ii.,  cap.  33. 

Proprium  humani  ingenii  est  odisse  quern  laeseris  ("  It  belongs  to  human  nature  to  hate  those 
you  have  injured"). — Tacitus  :  Ag^icoia,  42,  4. 

Chi  fa  ingiuria  non  perdona  mai  ("  He  never  pardons  those  he  injures"). — Italian  Proverb. 

"The  historians  and  philosophers,"  concludes  Macaulay,  "have  quite  done 
with  this  maxim,  and  have  abandoned  it,  like  other  maxims  which  have  lost 
their  gloss,  to  bad  novelists,  by  whom  it  will  very  soon  be  worn  to  rags." 
"Was  Thackeray  a  bad  novelist.'  He  was  fond  of  harping  on  the  theme. 
Here  is  one  out  of  a  dozen  instances  : 

Do  you  imagine  there  is  a  great  deal  of  genuine,  right-down  remorse  in  the  world?  Don't 
people  rather  find  excuses  which  make  their  minds  easy;  endeavor  to  prove  to  themselves 
that  they  have  been  lamentably  belied  and  misunderstood ;  and  try  and  forgive  the  persecutors 
who  2uiU  present  that  bill  when  it  is  due  ;  and  not  bear  malice  against  the  cruel  ruffian  who 
takes  them  to  the  police-office  for  stealing  the  spoons?  Years  ago  I  had  a  quarrel  with  a 
certain  well-known  person  (1  believed  a  statement  regarding  him  which  his  friends  imparted  to 
me,  and  which  turned  out  to  be  quite  incorrect).  To  his  dying  day  that  quarrel  was  never  quite 
made  up.  I  said  to  his  brother,  "  Why  is  your  brother's  soul  still  dark  against  me  ?  It  is  I  who 
ought  to  be  angry  and  unforgiving;  for  I  was  in  the  wrong." — Roundabout  Papers:  De 
Finibus. 

Perhaps,  after  all,  the  secret  of  the  trespasser's  hardness  of  heart  is  revealed 
in  the  lines  by  Adelaide  Procter,  in  the  "  Legend  of  Provence," — 

Only  Heaven 
Means  crowned,  not  conquered,  when  it  says,  "  P'orgiven!" 

Forsitan  est  nostrum  nomen  miscebitur  istis  (L.,  "Perhaps  our 
name  may  be  mingled  with  these"),  from  Ovid's  "The  Art  of  Love,"  iii. 
339.  Oliver  Goldsmith  was  a  notoriously  vapid  and  inane  talker.  Dr.  John- 
son called  him  an  inspired  idiot,  and  used  to  say,  "  No  man  was  more  foolish 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIl 

when  he  had  not  a  pen  in  his  hand,  or  more  wise  when  he  had"  (Boswell  : 
Life,  1780),  the  memory  of  which  peculiarity  Garrick  embalmed  in  the  im- 
promptu epitaph, — 

Here  lies  Nolly  Goldsmith,  for  shortness  called  Noll, 
Who  wrote  like  an  angel  and  talked  like  poor  Poll. 

He  redeemed  himself,  however,  at  least  upon  one  occasion.  Walking  with 
Johnson  in  the  Poets'  Corner  of  Westminster  Abbey,  the  Doctor  took  occa- 
sion to  quote  the  line  from  Ovid,  "  Forsitan  est  nostrum  nomen  miscebitur 
istis."  On  their  way  home  they  passed  under  Temple  Bar,  and  Goldsmith, 
pointing  to  the  heads  of  Fletcher  and  Townley,  who  had  been  executed  for 
complicity  in  the  rebellion  of  1745,  whispered  to  Johnson,  with  a  humorous 
reference  to  the  latter's  Toryism  and  Jacobite  proclivities,  "  Forsitan  est 
nostrum  nomen  miscebitur  istis"  ("  Perhaps  our  name  may  be  mingled  with 
these").  It  may  be  added  that  Johnson's  playful  prediction  was  fulfilled.  John- 
eon  died  December  13,  1784,  and  his  bones  rest  in  the  Abbey  by  the  side  of 
Goldsmith,  who  preceded  him. 

Fortune  favors  the  brave  (or  the  strong)  ("Fortes  fortuna  adjuvat" 
(Terence),  "  Audentes  fortuna  adjuvat"  (Virgil),  "  Fortuna  favet  fortibus."  etc.), 
a  popular  Latin  expression  found  in  various  forms  in  most  of  the  Ronian 
authors.     Cicero  and  Livy  allude  to  it  as  a  proverb,  and  Claudian,  in  the  line 

Fors  juvat  audentes,  Cei  sententia  vatis, 
("  Fortune  favors  the  bold,  the  sentence  of  the  bard  of  Ceos"), 
attributes  the  saying  to  Simonides,  the  Greek  lyric  poet,  who  was  born  in  Ceos. 
Euripides  says, — 

Try  first  thyself,  and  after  call  in  God  ; 

For  to  the  worker  God  himself  lends  aid. 

HippoLYTUS :  Frag.  435. 

In  a  negative  shape  it  appears  in  Sophocles  :  "  Fortune  is  not  on  the  side 
of  the  faint-hearted"  (Frag.  842).  Its  English  analogue,  "  God  helps  them 
that  help  themselves,"  is  found  in  Algernon  Sidney's  "  Discourse  on  Govern- 
ment," and  in  the  form  "  Help  thyself  and  God  will  help  thee,"  it  occurs  in 
Herbert's  "  Jacula  Prudentum,"  and  has  been  echoed  by  La  Fontame  : 
Aide-toi,  le  ciel  t'aidera.— Book  vi.,  fable  iS. 

But  the  French  generally  prefer  their  witty  paraphrase,— 

God  is  always  on  the  sidp  of  the  heaviest  battalions  {g.  v.). 

Forty.  This  number  has  played  an  important  and  very  curious  part  in  the 
traditions,  superstitions,  and  even  laws  of  different  peoples.  It  still  finds 
many  survivals  in  our  proverbial  speech,  in  our  written  literature,  and  on  our 
statute-books.  ,/-,..• 

The  period  of  forty  days,  best  known  now  under  the  name  of  C^uarantine, 
in  its  application  to  the  sanitary  service,  has  been  recognized  from  the  earliest 
times  in  the  legislation  both  of  France  and  England  as  of  mysterious  import. 
The  origin  of  this  recognition  disappears  in  the  darkness  of  early  Oriental 
history.  We  find  early  traces  of  it  in  the  diluvial  rains  which  lasted  forty 
days  and  forty  nights,  and  in  the  miraculous  fasts  of  Moses  and  Elijah.  It 
appears  substantially  in  the  forty  years  assigned  as  the  period  of  the  Israel- 
itish  wanderings  in  the  desert.  The  spies  spent  forty  days  investigating 
Canaan  before  they  gave  their  report.  Forty  days  was  the  period  devoted  in 
ancient  times  to  the  burial  of  the  dead.  Jonah  gave  the  inhabitants  of  N'neyeh 
just  forty  days  in  which  to  consider  his  prophecy  and  repent  In  the  JNew 
Testament  we  see  the  miraculous  Quarantine  of  Moses  and  of  Elijah  repro- 
duced in  the  fast  of  the  Saviour,  ancTthe  Christian  Lent,  or  Careme,  conimem- 
orates  it.     St.  Louis  established  in  France  the  King's  Quarantine,  during 


394  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

which  no  man  could  avenge  an  injury.  Under  the  Conqueror  no  man  was 
suffered  to  remain  in  England  above  forty  days  unless  he  was  enrolled  in 
some  tithing  or  decennary.  In  Magna  Charta  it  is  provided  that  a  widow 
shall  remain  in  her  husband's  main-house  forty  days  after  his  death,  during 
which  time  her  dowry  shall  be  assigned  over  to  her.  A  man  who  held  by  fee 
of  knight's  service  was  bound  to  respond  to  the  king's  call  for  a  term  of  forty 
days'  service  well  and  fittingly  arrayed  for  war.  By  the  privilege  of  Parlia- 
ment members  are  protected  from  arrest  for  forty  days  after  every  pro- 
rogation and  for  forty  days  before  the  next  appointed  assembling  of  Par- 
liament. Our  modern  sanitary  quarantine  was  established  by  early  French 
law,  and  adopted  throughout  the  Mediterranean,  and  in  the  English  acts  to 
prevent  the  introduction  of  the  plague  from  the  East.  Yet  forty  days  neither 
constitutes  an  aliquot  part  of  the  calendar  year  nor  will  admit  of  an  aliquot 
division  into  calendar  months  or  weeks.  It  is  a  distinctly  arbitrary  period 
of  time.  A  hint  toward  an  explanation  of  its  origin  may  be  found  in  the  fact 
that  forty  days  approximate  to  a  division  of  the  early  lunar  year  by  the  mystic 
number  nine. 

Among  the  alchemists  forty  days  was  looked  on  as  a  charmed  number, 
when,  after  certain  rites  and  ceremonies,  at  the  expiration  of  that  period  the 
philosopher's  stone,  or  the  elixir  of  life,  might  appear. 

In  the  Middle  Ages  forty  was  a  period  that  was  looked  upon  by  old  doctors 
with  superstitious  regard,  as  a  time  when  remarkable  changes  might  be  ex- 
pected to  take  place  in  their  patients. 

Nay,  proverbs  and  literature  assume  that  that  is  the  age  at  which  corre- 
sponding moral  and  mental  changes  do  or  ought  to  take  place  in  the  rightly 
constituted  mind.  Luther  used  to  say  that  a  man  lives  forty  years  before  he 
knows  himself  to  be  a  fool,  and  at  the  time  in  which  he  begins  to  see  his  folly 
his  life  is  nearly  finished  ;  so  that  many  men  die  before  they  begin  to  live. 

Young  tells  us, — 

Be  wise  with  speed; 
A  fool  at  forty  is  a  fool  indeed. 

Love  of  Fame,  Satire  ii.,  1.  282. 

Thackeray  has  a  poem  on  "The  Age  of  Wisdom,"  which  is  emphatically 
put  at  "  Forty  Year."     Here  are  the  most  pregnant  stanzas  : 
Ho,  pretty  page  with  the  dimpled  chin, 

That  never  has  known  the  Barber's  shear. 
All  your  wish  is  woman  to  win. 
This  is  the  way  that  boys  begin, — 
Wait  till  you  come  to  Forty  Year. 

Forty  times  over  let  Michaelmas  pass. 
Grizzling  hair  the  braiu  doih  clear, — 
Then  you  know  a  boy  is  an  ass. 
Then  you  know  the  worth  of  a  lass. 
Once  you  have  come  to  Forty  Year. 
A  popular  proverb  tells  us  that  at  forty  a  man  is  either  a  physician  or  a  fool, 
which  means  that  if  he  have  any  brains  he   has  learned  to  take  care  of  his 
health  and  avoid  the  excesses  which  inexperienced  youth  may  be  pardoned  for 
plunging  into.     But  the  proverb  does  not  contemplate  the   mere  taking  of 
medical  counsel  from  others,  but  the  observance  of  those  rules  which  the 
individual  experience  has  proved  to  be  best  for  the  individual.    Thus,  Bacon's 
words  are  a  good  gloss  for  the  proverb  : 

There  is  a  wisdom  in  this  beyond  the  rules  of  physic.  A  man's  own  observation,  what  he 
finds  good  of  and  what  he  finds  hurt  of,  is  the  best  physic  to  preserve  \if:^\\h..—0/  Re^men 
0/  Health. 

When  Sir  Harry  Halford,  a  famous  physician,  quoted  the  saying  "  Every 
man  is  a  physician  or  a  fool  at  forty,"  Canning  slyly  asked,  "  Sir  Harry,  mayn't 
he  be  both  V    Tiberius  is  mentioned  as  the  author  of  the  phrase,  but  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  395 

ascription  may  be  due  to  confusion  with  that  other  phrase  which  Plutarch 
records  ("Preservation  of  Health"),  that  "he  is  a  ridiculous  man  that  holds 
out  his  hand  to  a  physician  after  sixty."  Chamfort  said,  "Every  man  who  at 
forty  years  of  age  is  not  a  misanthrope  has  never  loved  his  race." 

Women  as  well  as  men  may  look  to  forty  as  a  notable  age.     The  influence 
of  apt  alliteration  is  partly  responsible  for  the  conception  of  the  epithet 
Fair,  fat,  and  forty, 

which  is  first  used  by  Dryden,  and  was  popularized  by  Sir  Walter  Scott  in 
"  St.  Ronan's  Well,"  ch.  vii.,  and  by  Byron  in  "  Don  Juan."  Before  the  example 
of  the  two  latter  authorities  had  crystallized  the  phrase  for  all  time  in  its 
present  form,  it  narrowly  escaped  being  ruined  by  Mrs,  Trench,  who,  in  a 

letter  dated   February  18,  1816,  wrote,  "Lord is  going  to  marry  Lady 

,  a  fat,  fair,  and  fifty  card-playing  resident  of  the  Crescent." 

Now,  a  lady  at  forty  may  be  both  fair  and  fat ;  at  fifty  she  may  only  be  fat. 

Forty  stripes  save  one,  the  punishment  of  castigation  as  administered 
by  the  Jews.  In  Deuteronomy  xxv.  2,  3  are  the  following  instructions : 
"  And  it  shall  be,  if  the  wicked  man  [brought  to  the  judges  for  trial]  be  worthy 
to  be  beaten,  that  the  judge  shall  cause  him  to  lie  down,  and  to  be  beaten 
before  his  face,  according  to  his  fault,  by  a  certain  number.  Forty  stripes 
he  may  give  him,  and  not  exceed  ;  lest,  if  he  should  exceed,  and  beat  him 
above  these  with  many  stripes,  then  thy  brother  shall  seem  vile  unto  thee." 
The  Jews  refined  on  this  theme,  and  affected  great  particularity.  To  avoid 
the  accidental  infliction  of  more  than  forty  stripes,  (hey  resolved  to  stop  short 
at  thirty-nine.  And  to  assure  themselves  exactitude  each  way  they  invented 
a  scourge  of  thirteen  thongs,  and  with  this  instrument  the  culprit  was  struck 
three  times.  The  High  Church  party  in  the  English  Church  were  wont  to 
allude  facetiously  to  the  Thirty-Nine  Articles  as  Forty  Stripes  save  One. 

Pox,  Thou  diest  on  point  of.  Fox  is  an  obsolete  slang  term  for  a 
sword,  and  is  frequently  used  in  this  sense  in  the  Elizabethan  and  Jacobean 
dramatists : 

Put  up  your  sword  ; 

I  have  seen  it  often  ;  'tis  a  fox. 

Beaumont  and  Fletcher  :   Captain,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  5. 

A  Toledo,  or  an  English  fox. 

Webster  :   White  Devil,  Act  v.,  Sc.  2. 

Thou  dy'st  on  point  of  fox. 

Shakespeare  :  Henry  V.,  Act.  iv.,  Sc.  4. 

The  origin  of  the  word  is  obscure.  It  has  been  derived  by  some  from  the 
old  Yx&x\c\\  faiilx  [L.  falx,  a  "falchion").  But  the  following  account  gives 
the  probable  origin  of  fox. 

There  was  a  certain  Julian  del  Rei,  believed  to  be  a  Morisco,  who  set  up  a 
forge  at  Toledo  in  the  early  part  of  the  sixteenth  century  and  became  famous 
for  the  excellence  of  his  sword-blades,  which  were  regarded  as  the  best  of 
Toledo.  That  city  had  for  many  ages  previous  been  renowned  for  sword- 
making,  it  being  supposed  that  the  Moors  introduced  the  art,  as  they  did  so 
many  good  things,  from  the  East.  Julian  del  Rei's  mark  was  a  little  dog 
(perrillo),  which  came  to  be  taken  for  a  fox,  and  so  the  "fox-blade,"  or 
simply  "  fox,"  for  any  good  sword.  The  brand  came  to  be  imitated  in  other 
places,  and  there  are  Solingen  blades  of  comparatively  modern  manufacture 
which  still  bear  the  little  dog  of  Julian  del  Rei. 

Another  suggested  derivation  of  the  word  is  that  a  sword  of  good  temper 
was  called  a  fox,  from  the  mark  of  a  wolf  (mistaken  for  a  fox)  on  the  cele- 
brated blades  of  Passau.     These  last  were  also  called  "wolf-blades." 


396  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

France,  Everything  happens  in.    A  humorous  variation  of  the  old  saw 

that  "it  is  always  the  unexpected  that  happens."  The  incident  which  gave  it 
birth  occurred  during  the  war  of  the  Fronde.  While  attending  the  Confer- 
ence of  Bordeaux  in  1650,  Cardinal  Mazarin  finding  himself  in  a  coach  with 
three  of  the  Frondist  leaders,  "  Who  would  have  believed  four  days  ago," 
he  cried,  "that  we  four  would  to-day  be  riding  in  the  same  carriage  ?"  "  Oh," 
replied  La  Rochefoucauld,  "  everything  happens  in  France  !"  ("  tout  arrive  en 
France !") 

Free  to  confess,  an  ugly  bit  of  newpaper  English  which  has  unfortunately 
been  incorporated  into  the  language.  Lord  Byron  credits  its  origin  to  the 
English  Parliament : 

He  was  "  free  to  confess"  (whence  comes  this  phrase? 
Is't  English  ?     No  :  'tis  only  parliamentary). 

Lord  Byron  :  Don  Juan, 

Freeze  out,  To,  in  English  and  American  slang,  to  put  out,  or  drive  away, 
by  a  cold  reserve  and  freezing  hauteur  ;  now  used  in  the  larger  sense  of  to  ex- 
clude, and  made  especially  popular  in  America  through  the  game  of  freeze- 
out  poker. 

I  called  on  Jane  and  Mary  Bung, 
I  thought  I  was  bound  to  blaze. 
But  the  very  first  call  they  froze  me  out 
With  their  new-converted  ways. 

English  Song:   The  Old-Fashioned  Beau. 

French  as  she  is  spoke.  In  the  charming  description  of  his  Prioress, 
Chaucer  tells  us, — 

Ful  wel  she  sange  the  service  devine, 
Entuned  in  hire  nose  ful  swetely ; 
And  Frenche  she  spake  ful  fayre  and  fetisly. 
After  the  scole  of  Stratford  atte  bowe, 
For  Frenche  of  Paris  was  to  hire  unknowe. 

Canterbury  Tales,  Prologue,  I.  122. 

There  has  been  some  controversy  among  the  commentators  as  to  whether 
Chaucer  did  or  did  not  understand  the  humor  of  this  passage,  but  the  great 
public  has  decided  that  Chaucer  was  not  a  born  fool  and  that  he  is  entitled  to 
all  the  credit  of  his  jest.  The  French  of  Stratford  atte  bowe  has  come  to  sig- 
nify the  opposite  of  the  French  of  Paris.  To  the  natives  of  Stratford  and  its 
vicinity  it  is  undoubtedly  more  intelligible.  Indeed,  even  Americans,  who. 
pick  up  foreign  languages  more  readily  than  the  English,  have  been  fain  to 
confess  that  American  French  was  more  lucid  than  the  French  of  Paris.  But 
to  the  inhabitants  of  Paris  it  is  a  source  of  continual  amusement,  and  some- 
times of  baffled  astonishment.  Such  words  or  phrases  as  nom-de-plume, 
double-entendre,  a  I'outrance,  soubriquet,  are  familiar  to  the  vocabulary  of 
Stratford  atte  bowe.  To  the  Parisian  they  sound  as  funny  as  do  to  our  ears 
the  Parisian-English,  or  Parisian-American,  of  ifitdrwiez'ee,  hig-lif,  ros-bif,  and 
shery-gobler  which  are  met  with  in  French  newspapers  and  have  even  been 
sanctioned  by  high  literary  authority.  Nevertheless,  up  to  this  point  the 
Parisian  can  understand  while  he  laughs.  Numerous  anecdotes,  however, 
are  extant  which  exhibit  the  dangers  that  may  result  from  using  the  Stratford 
variety  in  its  more  bewildering  moods.  There,  for  example,  is  the  stock  story, 
fathered  upon  many  distinguished  Englishmen,  of  how  one  of  two  gentlemen 
occupying  the  same  apartment  in  a  French  hotel  leaves  word  with  his  con- 
cierge not  to  let  the  fire  go  out,  but  unfortunately  phrases  it  "  ne  laissez  pas 
sortir  le  fou"  ("  don't  let  the  lunatic  escape"),  which  places  his  friend  in  the 
unpleasant  predicament  of  being  detained  and  watched  in  his  apartment 
until  the  return  of  the  Stratford  linguist.     Then  there  is  the  equally  ancient 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  397 

jest  of  the  Englishman  who  dumfounded  his  landlady  by  asking  for  a  chest 
of  drawers  under  the  shocking  and  mystifying  formula,  "Je  veux  une  poitrine 
de  cale5ons."  "Je  sens  mauvais  :  ou  est  ma  naissance  ?"  is  the  Stratford 
equivalent  for  "  I  feel  bad  :  where  is  my  berth  ?"  just  as  in  the  same  locality 
"  the  smile  of  the  calf  at  the  banker's  wife"  is  considered  the  correct  English 
equivalent  for  the  familiar  "  ris  de  veau  a  la  financiere." 

A  startling  error  was  once  made  by  an  English  preacher  addressing  a  French 
audience.  Beseeching  them  to  seek  the  water  of  life,  he  translated  it  literally 
after  the  Stratford  fashion  into  eaii  de  vie,  which  means  brandy.  It  is,  indeed, 
in  the  minor  French  words  that  foreigners  come  to  felicitous  grief,  in  substi- 
tuting de  for  dii  or  de  la,  in  misusing  articles  and  conjunctions.  Co/lte  que  cotite 
is  Parisian  and  intelligible.  Coilte  qui  co{ite\%  Stratfordian  and  nonsense.  Lord 
Byron  in  a  letter  to  Moore,  after  using  the  correct  phrase  esprit  de  corps,  asks, 
nonchalantly,  "  Is  it  du  or  de?  for  that  is  more  than  I  know."  Esprit dti  corps, 
if  it  means  anything,  means  spirit  of  the  body.  There  is  no  word,  by  the 
way,  which  needs  more  care  in  the  handling  than  the  word  esprit.  It  is  as 
versatile  and  volatile  as  the  people  whose  characteristics  it  so  aptly  repre- 
sents. Breathe  on  it  harshly  and  all  its  meaning  has  evaporated.  Even  so 
great  and  so  scholarly  a  writer  as  Macaulay  allowed  it  to  suffer  ill  treatment, — 
vicariously,  indeed,  yet  he  shares  the  crime  by  applauding  it.  In  his  essay  on 
the  "Athenian  Orators,"  he  repeats  what  he  considers  2l  jeu  de  mots  on  the 
title  of  Montesquieu's  masterpiece  :  "  It  was  happily  said  that  Montesquieu 
ought  to  have  changed  the  name  of  his  book  from  '  L'Esprit  des  Lois'  to 
'L'Esprit  sur  les  Lois.'"  Now,  as  Mr.  Breen  has  pointed  out,  the  happy 
saying  is  sheer  nonsense.  One  of  the  meanings  of  esprit  is  intellectual 
brilliancy.  It  is  obviously  in  this  sense  that  Macaulay  would  have  us  under- 
stand it  in  "  L'Esprit  sur  les  Lois."  But  he  forgets  that  it  ceases  to  have  that 
sense  the  moment  the  article  /e  is  prefixed  to  it.  In  Montesquieu's  title  the 
words  "  I'esprit"  are  employed  in  the  sense  of  the  scope,  the  guiding  principle, 
the  fundamental  idea.  The  substitution  of  "sur  les"  for  "des"  would  not 
affect  the  meaning  of  I  esprit.  "L'Esprit  sur  les  Lois"  would  mean  "The 
Scope  upon  Laws  ;"  in  other  words,  it  would  be  meaningless. 

Rather  a  funny  blunder  is  found  in  Mrs.  Sigourney's  "  Pleasant  Memories  of 
Pleasant  Lands,"  where  she  represents  a  Parisian  mob  in  1840  as  shouting 
"  A  bas  les  traiteurs  !"  ("  Down  with  the  restaurant-keepers  !")  It  is  to  be 
presumed  that  the  public  exasperation  was  directed  against  the  traitres,  the 
"  traitors,"  and  not  the  unoffending  traiteurs. 

The  word  encore,  it  might  not  be  amiss  to  mention,  is  not  French  in  our 
theatrical  use  of  it.  Encore  does  mean  more,  and  the  French  do  say  "encore 
une  tasse,"  another  cup,  or  "  encore  une  fois,"  once  more.  But  when  they 
want  a  performer  to  repeat  a  part  which  has  pleased  them,  they  might  say  bis 
(Latin  for  twice),  or  they  might  simply  content  themselves  with  the  Italian 
word  bravo,  brava,  or  bravi,  according  to  the  sex  and  number  of  the  per- 
formers whom,  in  the  useful  Stratford  phrase,  they  wish  to  encore.  We  use 
bravo  indiscriminately,  without  reflecting  that  it  is  properly  an  adjective  agree- 
ing in  gender  and  number  with  the  noun  that  it  qualifies,  and  can  only  be 
applied  to  a  single  male  performer. 

A  wordVvhich  is  fruitful  of  ludicrous  error  is  that  little  word  of  three  letters, 
nee.  As  every  one  knows  or  should  know,  it  is  a  participial  adjective  in  the 
feminine  gender,  meaning  born.  When  you  say  of  a  married  lady,  Mrs.  Jones, 
nee  Smith,  you  mean  that  Mrs.  Jones's  maiden  name  was  Smith, — i.e.,  that 
she  was  born  Smith.  But  when  a  New  York  paper  spoke  as  it  did  of  "  Mrs. 
Douglas  Green,  nee  Mrs.  Alice  Snell  McCrea,  nee  Miss  Alice  Snell,"  it  was 
rightly  called  to  task  by  a  contemporary  which  said,  "To  have  been  born 
Mrs.  Alice  Snell  McCrea  was  a  feat  worthy  of  immortality  in  the  records  of 

34 


398  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

obstetrics  ;  but  to  have  been  born  a  second  time,  and  then  as  Miss  Alice  Snell, 
is  an  achievement  that  must  amaze  the  world  of  science.  Surely  this  is  the 
climacterical  sensation  of  our  most  sensational  contemporary." 

There  is  another  small  and  harmless-looking  word, — the  wordye'«.  Yet  it  is 
equally  dangerous  in  Stratford  hands.  Captain  Gronow,  in  his  "Reminis- 
cences," gives  us  a  good  story  in  point.  A  certain  Alderman  Wood  visited 
Paris  in  1815.  Having  previously  filled  the  office  of  Lord  Mayor  of  London, 
and  wishing  to  apprise  the  Frenchmen  of  that  fact,  he  ordered  a  hundred 
visiting-cards,  inscribing  upon  them  "Alderman  Wood,  feu  Lord  Maire  de 
Londres."  The  word  feu,  one  need  hardly  state,  means  "  late"  only  in  the 
sense  of  "dead." 

Another  of  Gronow's  stories  is  of  an  unnamed  compatriot  who,  having  been 
introduced  by  M.  de  la  Rochefoucauld  to  Mademoiselle  Bigottini,  that 
beautiful  and  graceful  dancer,  in  the  course  of  conversation,  asked  him  in 
what  part  of  the  theatre  he  was  placed.  He  replied,  "  Mademoiselle,  dans 
une  loge  rotie,"  instead  of  "grillee."  The  lady  could  not  understand  what  he 
meant,  until  his  introducer  explained  the  mistake,  observing,  "  Les  diables  des 
Anglais  pensent  toujours  a  leur  rosbif." 

Lord  Westmoreland,  a  wag  of  the  Regency  day,  was  in  Paris  at  the  same 
period.  He  translated  the  common  phrase,  "I  would  if  I  could,  but  I  can't," 
as  follows  :  "  Je  voudrais  si  je  coudrais,  mais  je  ne  cannais  pas."  This  was  a 
joke,  of  course,  but  it  was  not  a  bad  burlesque  of  the  French  spoken  by  most 
of  his  compatriots.  No  wonder  Prince  Metternich  said  to  Lord  Dudley,  "  You 
are  the  only  Englishman  I  know  who  speaks  good  French.  It  is  remarked, 
the  common  people  in  Vienna  speak  better  than  the  educated  men  in  London." 
Lord  Dudley's  answer  was  e.\cellent.  "That  may  well  be,"  he  replied. 
"Your  Highness  should  recollect  that  Buonaparte  has  not  been  twice  in 
London  to  teach  them." 

Mr.  Brander  Matthews,  in  his  amusing  essay  "  On  the  French  spoken  by 
people  who  do  not  speak  French,"  has  preserved  a  delightful  advertisement 
which  he  cut  out  of  a  theatrical  weekly  paper.  He  changes  only  the  proper 
names  : 

ANNIE  BLACK, 

The  popular  favorite  and  leading  lady  of Theatre  Comique,  will  be  at  liberty  after  June 

to  engage  for  the  season  '8i-'82,  as  Leading  Lady  with  first-class  comb.     Also 
E.  L.  BLACK 
{Nie  Edward  Brown), 
CHARACTER  ACTOR. 

"  Please  read  this  carefully,"  says  Mr.  Matthews,  "  and  note  the  delightfully 
inappropriate  use  of  uee,  and  the  purely  professional  cutting  short  into  '  comb.' 
of  the  word  'combination,'  technically  applied  to  strolling  companies.  Above 
all,  pray  remark  the  fact  that  the  gray  mare  is  the  better  horse,  and  that  the 
man  has  given  up  his  own  name  for  his  wife's." 

German  as  well  as  French  enters  into  the  curriculum  of  Stratford  atte  bowe. 
In  his  "On  the  Rhine"  Hood  has  given  some  excellent  instances.  None  of 
them  are  better  than  the  true  story  which  he  thus  tells  in  a  letter  dated  from 
Coblentz,  on  May  6,  1835  : 

Our  servant  knows  a  few  words  of  English.  Her  name  is  Cradle, — the  short  for  Margaret. 
Jane  [Mrs.  Hood]  wanted  a  fowl  to  boil  for  me.  Now,  she  has  a  theory  that  the  more  she 
makes  her  English  un-English  the  more  it  must  be  like  German.  Jane  begins  by  showing 
Cradle  a  word  in  the  dictionary. 

Cradle.  Ja  !  yees — huhn — lienne — ja  !  yees. 

Jane  (a  little  through  her  nose).  Hmn — hum — hem — yes,  yaw.  Ken  you  geet  a  fowl — foo! 
—foal,  to  boil — bile — bole  for  dinner? 

Cradle.   Hot  wasser? 

Jane.  Yaw,  in  pit — pat — pot — hmn — ^hum — eh  ! 

Cradle  (a  little  oflf  the  scent  again).  Ja,  nein — wasser,  pot — hot— nein. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  399 

Jane.  Yes— no— good  to  eeat— chicken— cheeken— checking— choking— bird— bard— beard 

—lays  eggs— eeggs—hune— heme— hin— make  cheek  in  broth— soup— poultry— nehrv—Daltrv  I 

Gr^a-/^  (quite  at  fault).   Pfeltrighchtch  !-nein.  ^     ^       ^     ^    ^     paltry! 

Jane  (in  despair).  What  shall  1  do  !  and  Hood  won't  help  me  :  he  only  laughs.  This  comes 
of  leavmg  England  !  (She  casts  her  eyes  across  the  street  at  the  governor's  poultry-yard  and 
a  bright  thought  strikes  her.)  Here,  Gradle— come  here— comb  hair— hmn— hum— look  there 
—dare— you  see  thmgs  walking— hmn— hum— walking  about— things  with  feathers— fathers— 
feethers. 

Gradle  (hitting  it  off  again).  Feethers— faders— ah  hah  I  fedders— ja,  ja,  yees  sie  brineen 
fedders,  ja,  ja !  >  j       ,  & 

Jane  echoes.     Fedders — yes — yaw,  yaw  ! 

Exit  Gradle,  and  after  three-quarters  of  an  hour  returns  triumphantly  with  two  bundles  of 
stationer's  quills.     This  is  a  fact. 

French  leave,  an  informal  departure,  or,  by  extension,  absence  without 
permission,  escape,  flight.  The  origin  of  the  phrase  has  been  the  signal  for 
many  a  philological  contest,  but  the  dryasdusts  have  only  succeeded  in  stirring 
up  their  native  element  and  blinding  the  onlookers.  It  has  been  plausibly 
suggested  that  the  custom  of  disappearing  unobtrusively  from  a  crowded 
reception,  instead  of  elbowing  one's  way  through  a  throng  of  people  to  reach 
the  hostess,  a  custom  which  was  the  natural  outgrowth  of  courteous  consider- 
ation for  every  one  involved,  was  borrowed  by  the  English  from  the  French. 
Again,  it  has  been  suggested  that  French,  in  the  phrase  "  French  leave,"  has 
no  connection  with  the  French  people,  except  to  the  extent  that  is  implied  by 
the  etymology  of  the  word/n?;//^, — free, — and  that  the  expression  may  simply 
mean  a  permission  which  has  been,  not  granted,  but  assumed.  But  the  latter 
derivations,  and,  in  a  minor  degree,  the  former,  are  invalidated  by  the  fact 
that  the  French  return  the  compliment  in  a  similar  phrase,  "prendre  conge  a 
la  maniere  Anglaise,"  or  "se  retirer  a  I'Anglaise,"  with  precisely  the  same 
significance.  In  Germany,  it  may  be  added,  the  phrase  is  identical  with  the 
English, — "  franzosischen  Abschied  nehmen."  From  Hilpert's  German  Dic- 
tionary it  appears  that  the  term  is  at  least  as  old  as  the  century,  while  the 
custom  which  it  celebrates,  i.e.,  of  withdrawing  without  a  final  leave-taking, 
was  an  established  practice  in  Germany  three  hundred  years  ago. 

Frenchmen  are  half  monkeys,  half  tigers.  This  phrase,  which  was 
revived  with  much  gusto  during  the  excesses  of  the  Commune  in  1871,  is  a 
reminiscence  of  Voltaire's  phrase  in  a  letter  to  Madame  du  Deffand,  November 
21,  1766:  "Your  nation  is  divided  into  two  species:  the  one  of  idle  monkeys, 
who  mock  at  everything,  and  the  other  of  tigers,  who  tear."  He  had  already 
said  of  the  judges  in  the  Galas  case,  "  Don't  speak  to  me  of  those  judges, — 
half  apes  and  half  tigers."  Sieyes  subsequently,  in  a  note  addressed  to 
Mirabeau,  called  the  French  "  a  nation  of  monkeys  with  the  throats  of  parrots" 
("  une  nation  de  singes  a  larynx  de  perroquets"). 

Friends  and  Friendship.  Diogenes  Eaertius  ascribes  to  Aristotle  the 
excellent  saying,  "A  friend  is  one  soul  abiding  in  two  bodies."  But  Aristotle 
probably  had  in  mind  the  line  in  Homer's  Iliad,  Book  xvi.,  which  Pope  has 
thus  translated : 

Two  friends,  two  bodies  with  one  soul  inspired. 

The  most  familiar  form,  nowadays,  in  which  the  trope  appears  is  the  couplet 
in  Maria  Lovell's  translation  of  Bellinghausen's  "Son  of  the  Wilderness," 
better  known  as  "  Ingomar  the  Barbarian  :" 

Two  souls  with  but  a  single  thought. 

Two  hearts  that  beat  as  one. 

Zeno,  when  asked  what  a  friend  was,  replied,  "Another  I,"  which  expresses 

the  same  thought  in  another  way.     Trench  refers  with  commendation  to  that 

beautiful  proverb  of  which  Pythagoras  is  reputed  the  author,  but  which  is 

referred  to  many  other  famous  men,  "The  things  of  friends  are  common" 


400  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

(Koiva  Tu  ToJv  ^'Ckuv).  "  Where,"  he  asks,  "  does  this  find  its  exhaustive  ful- 
filment, but  in  the  communion  of  saints,  their  communion  not  with  one  another 
merely,  though  indeed  this  is  a  part  of  its  fulfilment,  but  in  their  communion 
with  Him  who  is  the  friend  of  all  good  men  ?  That  such  a  conclusion  lay 
legitimately  in  the  words  Socrates  plainly  saw  ;  who  argued  from  it,  that 
since  good  men  were  the  friends  of  the  gods,  therefore  whatever  things  were 
the  gods'  were  also  theirs ;  being,  when  he  thus  concluded,  as  near  as  one 
who  had  not  the  highest  light  of  all,  could  be  to  that  great  word  of  the 
apostle's,  '  All  things  are  yours.'  " 

An  Oriental  proverb  by  the  caliph  Ali  Ben  Ali  Taleb,  son-in-law  of  Mo- 
hammed, has  been  translated  by  James  Russell  Lowell  thus  : 

He  who  has  a  thousand  friends  has  not  a  friend  to  spare, 
And  he  who  has  one  enemy  will  meet  him  everywhere. 

Emerson  wrongly  attributes  the  maxim  to  Omar  Khayyam,  and  translates 
it  in  this  form  : 

Believe  me,  a  thousand  friends  suffice  thee  not  ; 
In  a  single  enemy  thou  hast  more  than  enough  : 

— which  may  be  taken  optimistically  as  meaning  that  friendship  with  every  one 
is  commendable,  as  enmity  towards  even  one  is  wrong,  or  cynically  in  the 
sense  that  enmity  is  a  more  active  principle  than  friendship, — that  you  may  be 
sure  of  man's  gall,  but  not  of  his  heart.  The  Italians  enforce  the  fair-weather 
nature  of  friendship  in  two  very  hard  sayings  : 

He  that  would  have  many  friends  should  try  few  of  them. 

Let  him  that  is  wretched  and  beggared  try  everybody,  and  then  his  friend. 
"  Prosperity  makes  friends,"  says  Publius  Syrus,  "adversity  tries  them." 
To  the  same  effect  is  Ecclesiasticus,  "  A  friend  cannot  be  known  in  prosperity, 
and  an  enemy  cannot  be  hidden  in  adversity."  Therefore  all  nations  have 
the  proverb  "  A  friend  in  need  is  a  friend  indeed,"  an  expression  found  in 
Plautus's  "  Epidicus," — "  Nothing  is  there  more  friendly  to  a  man  than  a 
friend  in  need."  (Act  iii.,  Sc.  3).     Yet  he  seems  to  be  a  rarity  : 

In  ^aught  that  tries  the  heart,  how  few  withstand  the  proof! 

BvKON  :  Chitde  Harold,  Canto  ii.,  St.  66. 

Hence  one  must  be  careful  not  to  place  too  much  dependence  on  others. 
"Treat  your  friend  as  if  he  might  become  an  enemy,"  is  another  of  the 
maxims  of  the  cynical  Syrus.  And  Diogenes  Laertius  reports  a  still  more 
sweeping  saying  of  Bias  : 

Bias  used  to  say  that  men  ought  to  calculate  life  both  as  if  they  were  fated  to  live  a  long 
and  a  short  time,  and  that  they  ought  to  love  one  another  as  if  at  a  future  time  they  would 
come  to  hate  one  another ;  for  that  most  men  were  bad. — Bias,  v. 

La  Rochefoucauld  saw  in  every  new  acquaintance  a  possible  enemy.  And 
Chamfort  warns  you  that  there  are  three  sorts  of  friends, — those  who  love  you, 
those  who  are  indifferent  to  you,  and  those  who  hate  you. 

It  is  pleasanter  to  turn  to  the  more  optimistic  view  of  friendship : 

A  man  that  hath  friends  must  show  himself  friendly ;  and  there  is  a  friend  that  sticketh 
closer  than  a  brother. — Proverbs  xviii.  24. 

Greater  love  hath  no  man  than  this,  that  a  man  lay  down  his  life  for  his  friends.— y<7/2« 
XV.  13. 

A  friend  may  well  be  reckoned  the  masterpiece  of  nature. — Emerson  :  Essays  :  Friendship. 

Be  thou  familiar,  but  by  no  means  vulgar. 
Those  friends  thou  hast,  and  their  adoption  tried. 
Grapple  them  to  thy  soul  with  hooks  of  steel. 

Shakespeare  :  Hamlet,  Act  i.,  Sc.  2. 

A  friend  should  bear  his  friend's  infirmities, 
But  Brutus  makes  mine  greater  than  they  are. 

Ibid.  :  Julius  Ctesar,  Act  iii.,  Sc  2. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  401 

Friends,  Save  me  from  my,  is  not  in  essence  original  with  Marshal 
Villars,  to  whom  it  is  generally  attributed.  On  taking  his  leave  of  King 
Louis  XIV.  on  his  departure  for  the  wars.  Marshal  Villars,  as  the  story  goes, 
addressed  his  majesty,  "  Sire,  I  am  going  to  fight  your  enemies.  1  leave 
you  in  the  midst  of  mine.  Save  me  from  my  friends."  Referring  to  his 
fourteen  years  of  hospitality  at  Ferney,  where  he  was  overrun  by  admirers 
from  all  over  the  continent,  Voltaire  said,  "  I  pray  God  to  deliver  me  from 
my  friends,  I  will  defend  myself  from  my  enemies  ;"  but  he  was  merely  para- 
phrasing the  saying  of  Antigonus,  who  commanded  a  sacrifice  to  be  offered, 
that  God  might  protect  him  from  his  friends.  "  From  my  enemies,"  he  ex- 
plained, "I  can  defend  myself,  but  not  from  my  friends."  The  thought  is  an 
obvious  one,  however,  and  it  is  not  surprising  to  find  it  widely  diffused  in 
various  forms.  In  Italy  it  is  a  proverb  in  this  form  :  "  From  him  I  trust  may 
God  defend  me  ;  from  him  whom  I  trust  not  I  will  defend  myself."  The  very 
words  of  Antigonus  are  found  in  their  Arabic  equivalent  in  a  volume  of 
maxims  of  Ilonan-ben-Isaak,  who  died  a.d.  873.  The  oldest  recorded  modu- 
lation of  the  thought,  however,  probably  underlies  the  words  of  the  prophet 
Zechariah  (xiii.  6)  :  "I  was  wounded  in  the  house  of  my  friends." 

Similar  expressions  are  found  in  all  modern  literatures.  Schiller  makes 
Wallenstein  say,  "  It  is  the  zeal  of  my  friends  that  is  ruining  me,  not  the 
hatred  of  the  enemy."  ^Wallenstein'' s  Tod,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  16.) 

So  in  English  literature  it  frequently  recurs  : 

Greatly  his  foes  he  dreads,  but  most  his  friends  ; 
He  hurts  the  most  who  lavishly  commends. 

Churchill  :   The  Apology,  19. 
An  open  foe  may  be  a  curse, 
But  a  pretended  friend  is  worse. 

Gay  :   The  Shepherd's  Dog  and  the  Wolf,  I.  153. 
Canning's  lines  are  well  known  : 

Give  me  the  avowed,  the  erect,  the  manly  foe , 
Bold  I  can  meet,  perhaps  may  turn  his  blow  ; 
But  of  all  plagues,  good  Heaven,  thy  wrath  can  send. 
Save,  save,  oh,  save  me  from  the  candid  friend ! 

Neiv  Morality. 

A  correspondent  of  Notes  and  Queries,  seventh  series,  x.  519,  says  that  m 
September,  1838,  he  copied  the  following  from  the  walls  of  a  small  dungeon, 
nearly  below  the  Bridge  of  Sighs  in  Venice,  evidently  scrawled  by  a  prisoner  : 
"  Di  chi  mi  fido  guardami  Dio,  di  chi  non  mi  fido  mi  guardero  lo," — "  From 
those  whom  I  trust  protect  me,  O  God ;  from  those  whom  I  mistrust  I  will 
protect  myself." 

Fritz,  let  fly !  The  great  fifty-ton  hammer  in  the  Krupp  Gun-Works  at 
Essen,  Germany,  gained  its  name  and  the  inscription  it  bears,  "Fritz,  let 
fly!"  in  the  following  manner.  In  1877,  when  the  Emperor  William  visited 
the  gun-works,  this  great  steam  trip-hammer  was  the  first  thing  to  attract  his 
attention.  Krupp  then  introduced  the  veteran  Emperor  to  the  machinist 
Fritz,  who,  he  said,  handled  the  giant  hammer  with  wonderful  precision, — 
being  so  expert  with  it  as  to  drop  the  hammer  without  injuring  an  object 
placed  in  the  centre  of  the  block.  The  Emperor  at  once  put  his  diamond- 
studded  watch  on  the  spot  indicated  and  beckoned  to  the  machinist  to  set  the 
hammer  in  motion.  Fritz  hesitated,  out  of  consideration  for  the  precious 
object,  but  Krupp  and  the  Emperor  both  urged  him  on  by  saying,  "  P>itz,  let 
fly  !"  Instantly  the  hammer  was  dropped,  coming  so  closely  to  the  watch 
that  a  sheet  of  writing-paper  could  not  be  inserted  between,  but  the  jewel  was 
uninjured.  The  Emperor  gave  it  to  Fritz  as  a  souvenir.  Krupp  added  one 
thousand  marks  to  the  present. 

aa  34* 


402  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Frost  or  Vintage  Saints.  A  popular  French  proverb  says,  "  It  is  better 
to  deal  with  God  than  with  his  saints."  M.  Quitard  believes  the  saints  re- 
ferred to  are  the  "  frost"  or  "  vintage  saints,"  saints  gelifs,  saints  vaidangeurs, 
— St.  Mamertus,  St.  Pancras,  and  St.  Servatus, — whose  festivals,  the  nth, 
I2th,  and  13th  of  May  respectively,  are  noted  in  the  popular  calendar  as  days 
when  any  marked  depression  of  temperature  would  be  fatal  to  the  young 
crops  and  to  vines.  The  husbandmen  held  these  saints  responsible  for  any 
ill  weather  that  might  occur,  and  the  reproaches  addressed  to  them  might 
take  the  form  perpetuated  in  the  proverb.  In  the  ecclesiastical  annals  of 
Cahors  and  Rhodez  it  is  recorded  that  the  angry  peasants  would  frequently 
flog  the  images  and  deface  the  pictures  of  the  frost  saints.  Rabelais  satiri- 
cally asserts  that  in  order  to  put  an  end  to  these  scandals  a  bishop  of  Auxerre 
proposed  to  transfer  the  festivals  of  the  frost  saints  to  the  dog-days,  and  make  ' 
August  change  places  with  May. 

In  Germany  the  same  superstition  holds,  and  the  frost  saints  are  known  as 
"  the  three  severe  \gestrenge\  lords."  It  is  believed  by  gardeners  that  nothing 
is  safe  from  frost  until  these  days  are  over. 

St.  Urban  is  another  patron  of  vintners  and  vineyards,  who  fares  ill,  es- 
pecially in  Germany,  if  his  festival  (May  25)  be  not  a  fair  day.  "  Upon  St. 
Urban's  day,"  says  Aubanus,  "all  the  vintners  and  masters  of  vineyards  sit 
at  a  table,  either  in  the  market-stand  or  in  some  other  open  and  public  place, 
and,  covering  it  with  fine  drapery  and  strewing  upon  it  green  leaves  and  sweet 
flowers,  place  upon  the  table  the  image  of  the  holy  bishop  ;  and  then,  if  the 
day  be  fair,  they  crown  the  image  with  great  store  of  wine  ;  but  if  the  weather 
prove  unpleasant  and  rainy  (believing  that  the  saint  has  withdrawn  his  pro- 
tection) they  cast  mire  and  puddle-water  upon  it,  persuading  themselves  that 
if  that  day  be  fair  and  calm,  their  grapes,  which  then  begin  to  flourish,  will  be 
good  that  year ;  but  if  it  be  stormy  and  tempestuous,  they  will  have  a  bad 
vintage." 

St.  Paul  and  St.  Vincent  Ferrer  are  also  invoked  by  vintners.     There  is  an 
old  Latin  saying,  "  Vincenti  festo,  si  sol  radiet,  memor  esto,"  which  the  French 
translate  into  a  proverb  that  may  be  Englished  thus  : 
If  St.  Vincent's  day  be  fine, 
'Twill  be  a  famous  year  for  wine. 

Funny-bone,  or  Crazy-bone,  the  latter  being  the  more  common  locu- 
tion in  America,  a  term  popularly  applied  to  what  anatomists  call  the  inner 
condyle  of  the  humerus,  a  blow  upon  which  jars  the  ulnar  nerve  and  pro- 
duces a  fitnny  tingling  sensation.  An  old  dissecting-room  joke  for  first-year 
students  is,  "  Why  is  the  funny-bone  so  called  ?  Because  it  borders  on  the 
humerus."  This  jest  is  seriously  taken  up  by  that  etymological  Joe  Miller, 
Dr.  Cobham  Brewer,  who  explains  the  word  funny-bone  as  "  a  pun  on  the 
word  humerus." 

They  have  pulled  you  down  flat  on  your  back ! 
And  they  smack  and  they  thwack, 
Till  your  funny-bones  crack 
As  if  you  were  stretched  on  the  rack. 

Ingoldsby  Legends  :  Bloudie  Jacke  of  Shrewsberrie. 

Fuss  and  Feathers,  a  nickname  given  to  General  Winfield  Scott  by  his 
detractors,  intimating  that  he  was  "  fussy,"  vain,  and  self-important.  A 
curious  accidental  parallel  is  afforded  by  Jekyll's  description  of  old  Lady 
Cork,  the  friend  of  Dr.  John.son  and  the  literati,  who  wore  an  enormous 
plume  at  one  of  her  receptions.  Jekyll  said  she  was  "  exactly  a  shuttlecock, 
— all  Cork  and  feathers." 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  403 


G. 

G,  the  seventh  letter  and  fifth  consonant  in  the  English  alphabet,  borrowed 
from  the  Romans,  who  invented  it  to  differentiate  the  ^  sound  from  the  k  sound, 
both  originally  represented  by  the  letter  C  (q.  v.). 

Gab,  Gift  of  the,  a  colloquialism  for  loquacity  or  great  powers  of  speech, 
applied  seriously  or  jocularly.  The  phrase  appears  to  have  been  used  for  the 
first  time,  in  literature  at  least,  by  the  irreverent  Mr.  Colvil,  in  a  parody  upon 
the  Rev.  Mr.  Zachary  Boyd's  Scotch  vernacular  version  of  the  Scriptures  into 
verse.  Colvil  represents  Boyd  as  thus  translating  the  first  verse  of  the  book 
of  Job  : 

There  was  a  man  called  Job 

Dwelt  in  the  land  of  Uz. 
He  had  a  good  gift  of  the  gob  : 
The  same  case  happens  to  us. 

"  Gab"  and  "  gob"  are  identical  words,  and  may  be  traced  back  to  the  begin- 
nings of  our  tongue,  meaning  always,  in  one  or  another  form,  the  misuse  of 
that  useful  but  unruly  member. 

Galilean.  Thou  hast  conquered,  Galilean!  {L.  "Vicisti,  Galilaee !") 
the  exclamation  which  some  early  Christian  historians  put  into  the  mouth  of 
the  dying  Julian,  known  as  the  Apostate.  He  received  his  death-wound  at 
the  very  moment  of  victory  against  the  Persians,  June  25,  363.  When  his 
physicians  told  him  he  could  not  live,  he  is  said  to  have  caught  some  of  the 
blood  from  his  wound  in  the  uninjured  hand,  and,  casting  it  towards  heaven, 
to  have  exclaimed,  "Thou  hast  conquered,  Galilean!"  {i.e.,  Christ.)  But 
Ammianus,  an  eye-witness,  and  a  credible  person,  does  not  mention  this. 
He  tells  us  that  Julian  received  the  intelligence  with  calmness,  and  even 
expressed  his  satisfaction  that  it  was  the  pleasure  of  the  gods,  who  had 
often  given  the  boon  of  early  death  to  those  they  loved,  that  he  should  be 
withdrawn  from  the  danger  of  corruption.  In  this  mood  he  harangued  his 
friends  all  night,  and  died  early  next  morning,  calmly  confident  of  immortality 
in  the  halls  of  Jupiter. 

And  the  great  king's  high  sad  heart,  thy  true  last  lover. 
Felt  thine  answer  pierce  and  cleave  it  to  the  core. 
And  he  bowed  down  his  hopeless  head 
In  the  drift  of  the  wild  world's  tide. 
And,  dying.  Thou  hast  conquered,  he  said, 
Galilean,  he  said  it  and  died. 

Swinburne  :  The  Last  Oracle. 

Gallagher.  Let  her  go,  Gallagher!  a  humorous  Americanism,  mean- 
ing "  All  right !  Go  ahead !"  The  Gallagher  who  is  so  continually  advised  to 
"let  her  go"  is  as  Protean  a  personality  as  Billy  Patterson  himself.  He  is 
a  deputy-sheriff  in  Galveston,  Texas,  who,  having  adjusted  the  hangman's 
noose,  was  told  by  the  cheery  criminal  to  "  let  her  go,  Gallagher."  He  is  the 
custodian  of  a  jail  in  St.  Louis,  who  levelled  his  gun  at  some  escaping  pris- 
oners and  had  the  memorable  words  addressed  to  him  by  a  sentinel.  He  is 
an  ancient  horseman  in  Texas,  the  owner  and  rider  of  a  forlorn  old  plug,  who 
excited  the  audience  to  this  derisive  shout  of  irony.  He  is  a  New  York 
horseman,  employed  to  start  horses  by  the  word  "  go,"  who,  failing  in  his 
duty  at  the  proper  moment,  is  so  addressed  by  the  crowd.  He  is  a  conductor 
employed  on  a  line  of  street-cars  recently  opened  in  Galveston,  Texas,  or  in 
Chicago,  or  in  St.  Louis,  or  in  Camden,  New  Jersey, — ^just  as  your  fancy 
pleases.     The  novelty  caused  great  excitement,  and  whenever  the  time  came 


404  HANDY-BGOK  OF 

round  for  Gallagher's  car  to  start  he  was  greeted  with  the  famous  words. 
Exactly  why  Gallagher's  car  was  the  only  one  singled  out  for  the  purpose  has 
never  been  satisfactorily  explained.  And  so  on,  and  so  on.  The  truth  is,  it 
is  impossible  to  fix  upon  the  origin  of  the  phrase.  As  good  an  explanation  as 
any  (but  not  much  better  than  the  rest)  is  that  at  one  time  New  Orleans 
counted  among  its  inhabitants  a  number  of  Gallegos, — a  class  of  Northern 
Spaniards,  remarkable,  mainly,  for  their  bow-legs.  These  gentry  were  em- 
ployed very  extensively  as  conductors  of  street-cars,  and  it  is  suggested  that 
they  were  frequently  started  on  their  route  with  cries  of  "  Let  her  go,  Gal- 
lego  !"  If  this  be  true,  then  Gallagher  is  not  Gallagher,  after  all.  One  cir- 
cumstance that  counts  in  favor  of  this  explanation  is  the  remarkable  number 
of  conductor-stories  that  have  travelled  round  the  papers  in  explanation  of 
the  phrase. 

A  curious  parallel  to  the  expression,  especially  in  connection  with  the  first 
story  given  above,  is  found  in  Montaigne's  "  Essays,"  chap,  xl.,  where  he  tells 
how,  after  Louis  XL  had  taken  the  city  of  Arras,  he  caused  to  be  executed  a 
number  of  the  inhabitants,  among  them  some  buffoons  "  who  would  not  leave 
their  fooling  at  the  very  moment  of  death.  He  that  the  hangman  turned  off 
the  ladder  cried,  '  Launch  the  galley  !'  a  slang  saying  of  theirs." 

Garrick  Club  Controversy.  One  of  the  most  famous  quarrels  in  recent 
literary  history  was  that  which  broke  out  in  the  Garrick  Club  between  Thack- 
eray and  Edmund  Yates,  and,  through  Dickens's  championship  of  the  latter, 
led  to  a  rupture  between  the  two  greatest  novelists  of  their  day.  The  casus 
belli  was  an  article  which  appeared  June  12,  1858,  in  a  periodical  entitled 
Tmvn  Talk.  It  was  a  smartly-written,  flippant,  offensive  bit  of  gossip  of  the 
kind  now,  unfortunately,  more  common  than  then,  professing  to  give  a  sketch 
of  the  author  as  he  appeared  in  every-day  life.     Here  it  is  in  full : 

Literary  Talk. 

Finding  that  our  pen-and-ink  portrait  of  Mr.  Charles  Dickens  has  been  much  talked  of  and 
extensively  quoted,  we  propose  giving  each  week  a  sketch  of  some  literary  celebrity.  This 
■week  our  subject  is 

MR.  W.  M.  THACKERAY. 

HIS  APPEARANCE. 
Mr.  Thackeray  is  forty-six  years  old,  though  from  the  silvery  whiteness  of  his  hair  he  ap- 
pears somewhat  older.  He  is  very  tall,  standing  upwards  of  six  feet  two  inches  ;  and  as  he 
walks  erect,  his  height  makes  him  conspicuous  in  every  assembly.  His  face  is  bloodless,  and 
not  particularly  expressive,  but  remarkable  for  the  fracture  of  the  bridge  of  the  nose,  the 
result  of  an  accident  in  youth.  He  wears  a  small  gray  whisker,  but  otherwise  is  clean  shaven. 
No  one  meeting  him  could  fail  to  recognize  in  him  a  gentleman ;  his  bearing  is  cold  and  unin- 
viting, his  style  of  conversation  either  openly  cynical  or  affectedly  good-natured  and  benev- 
olent;  his  bonhonimie  is  forced,  his  wit  biting,  his  pride  easily  touched, — but  his  appearance 
is  invariably  that  of  the  cool,  suave,  well-bred  gentleman,  who,  whatever  may  be  rankling 
■within,  suffers  no  surface  display  of  his  emotion. 

HIS  CAREER. 
For  many  years  Mr.  Thackeray,  though  a  prolific  writer,  and  holding  constant  literary  em- 
ployment, was  unknown  by  name  to  the  great  bulk  of  the  public.  To  Fraser  s  Magtizine  he 
■was  a  regular  contributor,  and  very  shortly  after  the  commencement  of  Punch  he  joined  Mr. 
Mark  Lemon's  staff.  In  the  Punch  pages  appeared  many  of  his  wisest,  most  thoughtful,  and 
■wittiest  essays.  "  Mr.  Brown's  Letters  to  his  Nephew"  on  love,  marriage,  choice  of  a  club,  etc., 
contain  an  amount  of  worldly  wisdom  which,  independently  of  the  amusement  to  be  obtained 
from  them,  render  them  really  valuable  reading  to  young  men  beginning  life.  The  "  Book  of 
Snobs,"  equally  perfect  in  its  way,  also  appeared  in  Punch.  Here,  too,  were  published  his 
buffooneries,  his  "  Ballads  of  Policeman  X.,"  his  "  Jeames's  Diary,"  and  some  other  scraps, 
the  mere  form  of  which  consisted  of  outrages  on  orthography,  and  of  which  he  is  now  de- 
servedly ashamed.  It  was  with  the  publication  of  the  third  or  fourth  number  of  "  Vanity 
Fair"  that  Mr.  Thackeray  began  to  dawn  upon  the  reading  public  as  a  great  genius.  This 
great  work — which,  perhaps,  with  the  exception  of  "  The  Newcomes,"  is  the  most  perfect 
Uterary  dissection  of  the  human  heart,  done  with  the  cleverest  and  most  unsparing  hand — had 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  405 

been  offered  to,  and  rejected  by,  several  of  the  first  publishers  in  London.  But  the  public 
saw  and  recognized  its  value ;  the  great  guns  of  literature,  the  Quarterly  and  the  Edin- 
i'lirgh,  boomed  forth  their  praises,  the  light  tirailleurs  in  the  monthly  and  weekly  press  xe.- 
echoed  the  y"(r»jr  <ie  joie,  and  the  novelist's  success  was  made.  "  Pendennis"  followed,  and 
was  equally  valued  by  the  literary  world,  but  scarcely  so  popular  with  the  public.  Then  came 
•■  Esmond."  which  fell  almost  still-bom  from  the  press,  and  then  "  The  Newcomes, "perhaps 
the  best  of  all.  "  The  Virginians,"  now  publishing,  though  admirably  written,  lacks  interest 
of  plot,  and  is  proportionately  unsuccessful. 

HIS  SUCCESS, 
commencing  with  "Vanity  Fair,"  culminated  with  his  "Lectures  on  the  English  Hu- 
morists of  the  Eighteenth  Century,"  which  were  attended  by  all  the  courts  and  fashion  of 
London.  The  prices  were  extravagant,  the  lecturer's  adulation  of  birth  and  position  was 
extravagant,  the  success  was  extravagant.  No  one  succeeds  better  than  Mr.  Thackeray  in 
cutting  his  coat  according  to  his  cloth ;  here  he  flattered  the  aristocracy,  but  when  he  crossed 
the  Adantic,  George  Washington  became  the  idol  of  his  worship,  the  "  Four  Georges"  the 
objects  of  his  bitterest  attacks.  These  last-named  lectures  have  been  dead  failures  in  Eng- 
land, though  as  literary  compositions  they  are  most  excellent.  Our  own  opinion  is  that  his 
success  is  on  the  wane  ;  his  writings  never  were  understood  or  appreciated  even  by  the  middle 
classes ;  the  aristocracy  have  been  alienated  by  his  American  onslaught  oii  their  body,  and 
the  educated  and  refined  are  not  sufficiently  numerous  to  constitute  an  audience  ;  moreover, 
there  is  a  want  of  heart  in  all  he  writes,  which  is  not  to  be  balanced  by  the  most  brilliant 
sarcasm  and  the  most  perfect  knowledge  of  the  workings  of  the  human  heart. 

The  article,  it  will  be  seen,  was  impertinent,  unjust,  and  in  very  bad  taste. 
It  was  an  open  secret  that  the  author  was  Edmund  Yates,  then  a  young  man 
just  beginning  to  make  his  way  in  literature.  Thackeray  had  reason  to  be 
angry,  but  when  a  man  has  reason  he  too  often  pushes  his  anger  to  unreason- 
able lengths.  One  wishes,  on  the  whole,  that  Thackeray  had  taken  no  notice 
of  the  affront.  Instead,  he  sat  down  and  penned  the  following  letter.  It  is  a 
masterpiece  in  its  way,  and  admirably  preserves  throughout  the  tone  of  a 
superior  rebuking  an  inferior  and  only  restrained  by  a  consciousness  of  their 
relative  positions  from  any  severer  form  of  chastisement. 

36  Onslow  Square,  S.  W.,  June  14. 

SiR^ — I  have  received  two  numbers  of  a  little  paper  called  Town  Talk,  containing  notices 
respecting  myself,  of  which,  as  I  learn  from  the  best  authority,  you  are  the  writer. 

In  the  first  article  of  "  Literary  Talk"  you  think  fit  to  publish  an  incorrect  account  of  my 
private  dealings  with  my  publishers. 

In  this  week's  number  appears  a  so-called  "  Sketch,"  containing  a  description  of  my  man- 
ners, person,  and  conversation,  and  an  account  of  my  literary  works,  which  of  course  you 
are  at  liberty  to  praise  or  condemn  as  a  literary  critic. 

But  you  state,  with  regard  to  my  conversation,  that  it  is  either  "  frankly  cynical  or  affect- 
edly benevolent  and  good-natured  ;"  and  of  my  works  (Lectures),  that  in  some  I  showed  "  an 
extravagant  adulation  of  rank  and  position,"  which  in  other  lectures  ("  as  I  know  how  to  cut 
my  coat  according  to  my  cloth")  became  the  object  of  my  bitterest  attacks. 

As  I  understand  your  phrases,  you  impute  insincerity  to  me  when  I  speak  good-naturedly 
in  private,  assign  dishonorable  motives  to  me  for  sentiments  which  I  have  delivered  in  public, 
and  charge  me  with  advancing  statements  which  I  have  never  delivered  at  all. 

Had  your  remarks  been  written  by  a  person  unknown  to  me,  I  should  have  noticed  them 
no  more  than  other  calumnies  ;  but  as  we  have  shaken  hands  more  than  once,  and  met  hitherto 

on  friendly  terms  (you  may  ask  one  of  your  employers,  Mr. ,  of ,  whether  I  did  not 

speak  of  you  very  lately  in  the  most  friendly  manner),  I  am  obliged  to  take  notice  of  articles 
which  I  consider  to  be  not  offensive  and  unfriendly  merely,  but  slanderous  and  untrue. 

We  met  at  a  club,  where,  before  you  were  born,  I  believe,  I  and  other  gentlemen  have  been 
in  the  habit  of  talking  without  any  idea  that  our  conversation  would  supply  paragraphs  for 
professional  vendors  of  "  Literary  Talk  ;"  and  I  don't  remember  that  out  of  that  club  I  have 
ever  exchanged  six  words  with  you.  Allow  me  to  inform  you  that  the  talk  which  you  have 
heard  there  is  not  intended  for  newspaper  remark  ;  and  to  beg— as  I  have  a  right  to  do— that 
you  will  refrain  from  printing  comments  upon  my  private  conversations  ;  that  you  will  forego 
discussions,  however  blundering,  upon  my  private  affairs  ;  and  that  you  will  henceforth  please 
to  consider  any  question  of  my  personal  truth  and  sincerity  as  quite  out  of  the  province  of 
your  criticism.     I  am,  etc.,  „^   , ,   ^ 

W.  M.  Thackeray. 

Mr.  Yates,  in  his  "  Recollections,"  thinks  it  must  be  admitted  by  the  most 
impartial  reader  that  this  letter  is  severe  to  the  point  of  cruelty  ;  "  that,  what- 
ever the  silliness  and  impertinence  of  the  article,  it  was  scarcely  calculated  to 


4o6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

have  provoked  so  curiously  bitter  an  outburst  of  personal  feeling  against  its 
writer  ;  that,  in  comparison  with  the  offence  committed  by  me,  the  censure 
administered  by  Mr.  Thackeray  is  almost  ludicrously  exaggerated."  Mr. 
Yates's  acknowledgment  of  his  error  is  so  frank  and  manly  that  one  hardly 
likes  to  insinuate  that  "silly"  and  "impertinent"  are  rather  mild  adjectives  to 
apply  to  his  offence,  and  that  severer  epithets  would  do  something  towards 
justifying  the  severity  of  the  punishment. 

Still,  ^Ir.  Yates  is  right  in  saying  that  to  some  of  Thackeray's  strictures  he 
could  return  a  somewhat  effective  Tu  qiioque,  especially  the  insistence  upon 
"the  fact  that  the  club  was  our  only  common  meeting-ground,  and  that  it  was 
thence  my  presumed  knowledge  of  him  was  derived."  "  I  felt  that  the  sentence 
in  which  he  emphasized  the  fact  afforded  me  a  legitimate  opportunity  for  a 
tolerably  effective  rejoinder." 

He  therefore  sat  down  at  once,  and  wrote  a  letter,  in  which,  after  disclaim- 
ing the  motives  imputed  to  him,  he  took  the  liberty  of  reminding  Thackeray 
of  certain  among  his  own  intrusions  into  the  privacy  of  his  friends,  and  his 
acquaintances  of  the  Garrick  Club  especially  :  Arcedeckne  exposed  as  Foker, 
Mr.  Wyndham  Smith  caricatured  as  the  Sporting  Snob,  both  with  most  un- 
mistakable wood-cut  likenesses,  not  to  mention  the  Athanasius  Lardner  and 
Mistaw  Edwad  Lytton  Bulwig  of  the  "  Yellowplush  Papers." 

Before  sending  it,  Yates  determined  to  consult  Albert  Smith,  but,  remem- 
bering that  Albert  also  had  reason  to  complain  of  Thackeray,  he  elected  to 
apply  to  Dickens,  under  whose  direction  he  suppressed  his  letter, — it  was 
"too  violent  and  too  flippant,"  Dickens  thought, — and  wrote  as  follows  : 

June  15,  1858. 

Sir, — I  have  to  acknowledge  the  receipt  of  your  letter  of  this  day's  date,  referring  to  two 
articles  of  which  I  am  the  writer. 

Vou  will  excuse  ray  pointing  out  to  you  that  it  is  ahsurd  to  suppose  me  bound  to  accept 
your  angry  "  understanding"  of  my  "  phrases."  I  do  not  accept  it  in  the  least :  I  altogether 
reject  it. 

I  cannot  characterize  your  letter  in  any  other  terms  than  those  in  which  you  characterized 
the  article  which  has  given  you  so  much  offence.  If  your  letter  to  me  were  not  both  "  slander- 
ous and  untrue,"  I  should  readily  have  discussed  its  subject  with  you,  and  avowed  my  earnest 
and  frank  desire  to  set  right  anything  I  may  have  left  wrong.  Your  letter  being  what  it  is,  I 
have  nothing  to  add  to  my  present  reply. 

Edmund  Yates. 

Thackeray  instantly^put  Mr.  Yates  into  "  The  "Virginians"  as  "  Young  Grub- 
Street,"  and  laid  the  whole  correspondence  before  the  Garrick  committee  to 
decide  whether  the  practice  of  publishing  such  articles  would  not  be  "fatal  to 
the  comfort  of  the  club,"  and  "intolerable  in  a  society  of  gentlemen."  Yates, 
called  upon  to  apologize  or  retire  from  the  club,  denied  the  competence  of  the 
committee,  declined  to  do  either  the  one  thing  or  the  other,  and  by  the  action 
of  a  general  meeting,  in  spite  of  the  support  of  Dickens,  Lowe,  Wilkie  Col- 
lins, Robert  Bell,  and  Palgrave  Simpson,  was  made  liable  to  expulsion.  Still 
recalcitrant,  his  name  was  erased  from  the  books.  He  consulted  legal 
authority.  Dickens  resigned  from  the  committee,  and  later  wrote  a  private 
letter  to  Thackeray,  in  which  he  acknowledged  his  part  as  Yates's  adviser, 
and  suggested  compromise  and  mediation,  pointing  out  that  Edwin  James's 
opinion  was  "strong  on  the  illegality  of  the  Garrick  proceeding."  Thackeray 
returned  a  rather  blunt  refusal,  declaring  that  "  Ever  since  I  submitted  my 
case  to  the  club  I  have  had,  and  can  have,  no  part  in  the  dispute."  It  was 
for  them  to  judge  whether  any  reconcilement  were  possible,  but  he  could  not 
conceive  "that  the  club  will  be  frightened,  by  the  opinion  of  any  lawyer,  out 
of  their  own  sense  of  the  justice  and  honor  which  ought  to  obtain  among  gen- 
tlemen." He  enclosed  a  copy  of  a  letter  he  had  written  to  the  committee, 
informing  them  of  Mr.  Dickens's  proposition  and  his  own  answer  thereto. 
Dickens,  wroth  at  what  he  looked  upon  as  a  betrayal  of  confidence,  handed  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  40? 

entire  correspondence  to  the  original  author  of  the  trouble,  to  do  with  it 
as  he  wished.  "  As  the  receiver  of  my  letter  did  not  respect  the  confidence 
in  which  it  addressed  him,  there  can  be  none  left  for  you  to  violate.  I  send 
you  what  I  wrote  to  Mr.  Thackeray  and  what  he  wrote  to  me,  and  you  are  at 
perfect  liberty  to  print  the  two." 

Thackeray  and  Dickens  had  never  been  very  friendly  to  each  otlier.  They 
had,  indeed,  always  kept  up  an  outward  show  of  cordiality.  But  the  natural 
antagonism  of  two  utterly  different  natures,  rather  than  any  mere  vulgar 
rivalry,  had  kept  them  apart.  Even  before  this  affair  Thackeray  had  said  to 
an  American  admirer,  "  Dickens  doesn't  like  me  :  he  knows  that  my  books 
are  a  protest  against  his, — that  if  the  one  set  are  true,  the  others  must  be 
false."  On  the  other  hand,  "  Dickens,"  says  Yates,  "  read  little,  and  thought 
less,  of  Thackeray's  later  work." 

The  break  between  them  was  final.  Forster,  indeed,  refers  to  it  as  a  "small 
estrangement  hardly  now  worth  mention,  even  in  a  note."  But  Yates  insists 
that  it  was  complete  and  continuous,  and  notes  that  Dickens  and  Thackeray 
"never  exchanged  but  the  most  casual  conversation  afterwards."  And  he 
adds  that  at  the  time  nobody  was  more  energetically  offended  with  Thackeray 
than  John  Forster  himself  "  I  perfectly  remember  his  rage  when  Dickens 
showed  him  the  letter  of  the  26th  November,  and  how  he  burst  out  with, 
'  He  be  d — d,  with  his  "yours,  etc."  '  " 

But  to  return.  Yates,  acting  on  legal  advice,  went  to  the  club,  was  "  satis- 
factorily trespassed  upon,"  brought  his  action  against  the  secretary  of  the 
club  as  the  nominal  defendant,  lost  it  on  a  kind  of  quibble,  because  he  had 
not  brought  it  against  the  trustees,  was  advised  to  apply  to  the  Court  of 
Chancery,  and,  finding  that  it  would  cost  him  some  two  or  three  hundred 
pounds  to  get  heard,  was  wise  enough  to  let  the  matter  drop. 

And  so  the  victory  was  with  Thackeray  in  what  had  come  to  be  looked 
upon  as  a  trial  of  strength  between  him  and  Dickens.  As  Yates  himself 
acknowledges,  "it  was  pretty  generally  said  at  the  time,  as  it  has  been  said 
since,  and  is  said  even  now,  that  this  whole  affair  was  a  struggle  for  suprem- 
acy, or  an  outburst  of  jealousy,  between  Thackeray  and  Dickens,  and  that 
my  part  was  merely  that  of  the  scapegoat  or  shuttlecock." 

Gasconade,  a  term  for  pompous  and  inflated,  yet  none  the  less  good- 
natured,  vaunting  and  self-conceit,  borrowed  from  the  French,  who  credit 
this  characteristic  to  the  inhabitants  of  Gascony,  a  former  province  of 
France,  now  cut  up  into  several  departments.  The  American,  through  the 
Celtic  side  of  his  nature,  shows  in  many  ways  a  strong  kinship  to  the  Gaul,  and 
the  gasconade  certainly  seems  to  be  the  father  of  American  highfalutin  and 
spread-eagleism.  It  has  the  same  flavor  of  sub-conscious  humor  in  its  exag- 
geration. Thus,  the  Gascon  who  boasted  that  in  a  duel  he  had  glued  his 
adversary  so  firmly  to  the  wall  that  he  might  have  been  mistaken  (or  a  fresco, 
— that  Gascon  had  all  the  wild  untrammelled  American  imagination  which 
brings  together  the  most  hopelessly  incongruous  things  into  a  momentary 
appearance  of  congruity.  Equally  apt  and  ingenious  was  the  conditional 
threat  of  a  Gascon,  separated  from  an  antagonist  just  before  they  had  come 
to  blows  :  "  Gentlemen,  he  ought  to  be  greatly  obliged  to  you  ;  if  you  had  let 
me  alone  I  should  have  thrust  him  into  the  wall,  and  left  nothing  free  but  his 
arm  to  take  off  his  hat  with  every  time  that  I  passed  before  him."  Yankee- 
like, too,  is  the  flavor  of  the  young  Gascon's  boast  that  the  very  mattresses  he 
slept  upon  were  stuffed  with  the  whiskers  of  those  he  had  slain,  his  ingenuous 
statement  that  at  home  his  family  used  no  other  firewood  than  the  batons 
of  the  various  marshals  of  France  among  their  ancestors,  and  his  qualified 
approval  of  the  Louvre  :  "Upon  my  honor,  I  like  it  vastly;  methinks  I  see 
the  back  of  my  father's  stables." 


4o8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

No  one  so  effectively  as  a  Gascon  could  take  the  wind  out  of  the  sails 
of  the  less  accomplished  braggarts  of  other  climes.  A  travelling  salesman 
sought  to  astonish  a  Gascon,  travelling  for  another  house  :  "  Do  you  know 
that  our  annual  expense  for  ink  is  upwards  of  two  thousand  francs  ?"  The 
Gascon  burst  into  loud  laughter.  "  Two  thousand  francs  !"  he  cried  ;  "  why, 
in  our  establishment  we  economize  to  the  annual  amount  of  five  thousand 
francs  by  refraining  from  dotting  our  «''s."  When  Gascon  meets  Gascon  the 
by-standers  have  what  Americans,  when  they  wish  to  be  very  expressive,  call 
a  picnic.  "  I  have  a  dog,"  said  one  Gascon  to  another.  "  So  have  I,"  was 
the  reply,     "  But  mine's  the  cleverest  dog  you  ever  saw.     When  some  boys 

attached  a  kettle  to  his  tail "    "  He  ran  away  ?"    "  No  !  He  cut  off  his  tail  to 

save  his  amour-propre.''    "  That's  nothing,"  cried  his  friend  ;  "  mine  did  better. 

Having  a  kettle  tied  to  his  tail "    "  He  pulverized  it .''"    "  No,  sir.    He  got 

into  it  and  had  himself  cooked  one  day  when  provisions  ran  short." 

When  a  Gascon  corroborates  a  Gascon,  there  is  no  climax  which  he  cannot 
cap  :  he  piles  Pelion  upon  the  groaning  weight  of  Ossa.  A  young  Gascon 
gentleman,  laughed  at  for  asserting  that  in  his  father's  castle  there  was  a  gallery 
a  mile  long,  appealed  to  his  Gascon  valet.  "Messieurs,"  said  the  latter,  "you 
may  laugh  all  you  please,  but  the  gallery  is  certainly  a  mile  long  by  two 
broad." 

Gauntlet,  Running  the.  This  phrase,  which  has  come  to  be  used  figura- 
tively, was  the  name  of  a  form  of  punishment  inflicted  in  the  British  army, 
and  particularly  in  the  royal  navy.  The  culprit,  stripped  naked  to  the  waist, 
was  obliged  to  pass  between  two  lines  of  his  comrades  armed  with  staves  or 
switches,  with  which  they  belabored  his  back  as  he  passed  through.  In  Ger- 
many, during  the  Thirty  Years'  War,  it  was  practised,  as  a  punishment  for 
offences  against  their  esprit  de  corps,  by  the  members  of  those  organized  mil- 
itary freebooters,  "Lanzknechte"  ("  Pikemen"),  as  they  were  called,  and  was 
designated  "  Gassenlaufen"  (literally,  "running  the  lane"),  whence  it  passed 
into  the  armies  of  Europe  as  a  military  punishment.  It  was  introduced  into 
England  during  or  soon  after  this  war.  Originally  it  was  called  "to  run 
the  gantlope,  or  gang-lope,"  probably  from  the  Dutch  gangloopen,  which  is 
identical  in  meaning  with  the  German  word. 

Some  said  he  ought  to  be  tied  neck  and  heels ;  others,  that  he  deserved  to  run  the  gantlope. 
— Fielding  ;    Tom  Joties,  Book  vii.,  ch.  ii. 

Some  etymologists  prefer  to  derive  it  from  the  Swedish  gallop,  having  the 
same  meaning  as  the  German  and  the  Dutch  term.  The  word  "gauntlet," 
or  "gantlet,"  in  the  phrase  is  simply  a  corruption,  the  punishment  having 
always  been  inflicted  with  staves,  switches,  or  similar  weapons ;  and  the 
fancied  iron  glove,  or  mailed  hand,  or  gauntlet  of  any  kind,  never  played  any 
part  in  it. 

Gem  —  Flower.  One  of  the  most  admired  stanzas  in  Gray's  "Elegy  in  a 
Country  Church-Yard"  is  the  fourteenth  : 

Full  many  a  gem  of  purest  ray  serene 
The  dark  unfathomed  caves  of  ocean  bear ; 

Full  many  a  flower  is  born  to  blush  unseen 
And  waste  its  sweetness  on  the  desert  air. 

As  Mr.  H.  H.  Breen  first  pointed  out,  with  a  lamentable  want,  however,  of 
authoritative  references,  this  is  "  but  a  free  translation  of  the  Latin  couplet" 
Plurima  gemma  latet  cseca  tellure  sepulta  ; 
Plurima  neglecto  fragrat  odore  rosa. 

He  also  quotes  from  Bishop  Hall : 

There  is  many  a  rich  stone  laid  up  in  the  bowels  of  the  earth,  many  a  fair  pearl  in  the 
bosom  of  the  sea,  that  never  was  seen,  nor  ever  will  be. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  409 

The  parallels  might  be  almost  indefinitely  extended  : 

Spent 
Like  beauteous  flowers  which  vainly  waste  the  scent 
Of  odors  in  unhaunted  deserts. 

Chamberlayne  :  Pharronida,  Book  iv. 
Why  did  I  not  pass  away  in  secret,  like  the  flower  of  the  rock  that  lifts  its  fair  head  unseen, 
and  strews  its  withered  leaves  on  the  blast  ? — Ossian  :  Fingal. 

In  distant  worlds,  by  human  eye  unseen. 

She  rears  her  flowers  and  spreads  her  velvet  green  ; 

Pure  gurgling  rills  the  lonely  desert  trace. 

And  waste  their  music  on  the  savage  race. 

Young  :  Love  of  Fame,  Satire  V. 

Nor  waste  their  sweetness  in  the  desert  air. 

Churchill:   Gotham,  Book  ii.,  1.  20. 

Genius.  What  is  genius,  and  how  does  it  differ  from  talent .'  The  question 
has  not  yet  been  settled.  No  definitions  have  compassed  it.  But  the  old 
idea  that  genius  is  a  gift  of  the  gods,  an  inspiration,  a  demoniac  possession, 
and  talent  mere  human  energy  and  application,  might  be  exemplified  by  an 
army  of  citations,  from  the  "  poeta  nascitur  non  fit"  of  the  ancients  to  the  last 
critical  review.     Here  are  a  few  : 

Time,  place,  and  action  may  with  pains  be  wrought. 
But  genius  must  be  born,  and  never  can  be  taught. 

Drvden  :  Epistle  to  Congreve. 

Talk  not  of  genius  baffled.     Genius  is  master  of  man  ; 
Genius  does  what  it  must,  and  talent  does  what  it  can. 

Owen  Meredith  :  Last  Words. 

The  world  is  always  ready  to  receive  talent  with  open  arms.  Very  often  it  does  not  know 
what  to  do  with  genius  Talent  is  a  docile  creature.  It  bows  its  head  meekly  while  the 
world  slips  the  collar  over  it.  It  backs  into  the  shafts  like  a  lamb.  It  draws  its  load  cheer- 
fully, and  is  patient  of  the  bit  and  of  the  whip.  But  genius  is  always  impatient  of  its  harness ; 
its  wild  blood  makes  it  hard  to  train. — O.  W.  Holmes  :   The  Professor,  302. 

Talent  convinces — Genius  but  excites  ; 
This  tasks  the  reason,  that  the  soul  delights. 
Talent  from  sober  judgment  takes  its  birth. 
And  reconciles  the  pinion  to  the  earth  ; 
Genius  unsettles  with  desires  the  mind. 
Contented  not  till  earth  be  left  behind ; 
Talent,  the  sunshine  on  a  cultured  soil, 
Ripens  the  fruit,  by  slow  degrees,  for  toil. 
Genius,  the  sudden  Iris  of  the  skies. 
On  cloud  itself  reflects  its  wondrous  dyes  ; 
And,  to  the  earth,  in  tears  and  glory  given, 
Clasps  in  its  airy  arch  the  pomp  of  Heaven ! 
Talent  gives  all  that  vulgar  critics  need — 
From  its  plain  hornbook  learn  the  Dull  to  read ; 
Genius,  the  Pythian  of  the  Beautiful, 
Leaves  its  large  truths  a  riddle  to  the  Dull — 
From  eyes  profane  a  veil  the  Isis  screens. 
And  fools  on  fools  still  ask  what  Hamlet  means. 

BuLWER  Lytton  ;   Talent  and  Genius. 

Yet  latterly  a  school  of  heretics  has  arisen  who  openly  scoff  at  the  supposed 
difference  between  talent  and  genius,  or  make  the  difference,  if  any,  quantita- 
tive, and  not  qualitative.  Howells  and  James  Payn  are  foremost  in  insisting 
with  blatant  joyousness  on  the  new  doctrine,  and  they  find  many  a  text  among 
the  greater  men  which  seems  to  bear  them  out.  Thus,  Dr.  Johnson  defined 
genius  as  "a  mind  of  large  general  powers  accidentally  determined  to  some 
particular  direction"  (Boswell  :  Life  of  Johnson),  or,  more  concisely,  "Genius 
is,  in  fact,  knowing  the  use  of  tools"  (Madame  D'Arklay  :  Memoirs  of 
Dr.  Burttey).  Buffon  characterized  genius  as  "only  the  supreme  capacity  for 
taking  pains," — a  dictum  which  Carlyle  appears  to  sanction  when  he  says, 

s  35 


41  o  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

"  Genius,  which  means  transcendent  capacity  first  of  all"  {Frederick  the  Great, 
vol.  i.  p.  2SS,  popular  edition).  But  no  man  was  more  alive  than  Carlyle  to 
the  spiritual  significance  of  the  miracle  we  call  genius.  "  Poetical  genius, — 
do  we  know  what  these  words  mean?"  he  asks.  "An  inspired  soul,  once 
more  vouchsafed  to  us,  direct  from  Nature's  own  great  fire-heart,  to  see  the 
Truth  and  speak  it  and  do  it.  Nature's  own  sacred  voice  heard  once  more 
athwart  the  dreary,  boundless  element  of  hearsaying  and  canting,  of  twaddle 
and  poltroonery,  in  which  the  bewildered  Earth,  nigh  perishing,  has  lost  its 
way."  {Past  and  Present,  p.  75.)  In  spite  of  these  sayings,  however,  writers 
like  Swinburne  (in  his  Essay  on  Thomas  Dekker)  insist  on  such  woful  mis- 
readings  as  are  contained  in  this  sentence  :  "  If  he  wanted  that '  infinite  capacity 
for  taking  pains'  which  Carlyle  professed  to  regard  as  the  synonyme  of  genius," 
etc.  Carlyle  never  so  professed  ;  he  looked  on  an  infinite  capacity  for  taking 
pains  merely  as  a  concomitant  of  genius,  but  the  most  infinite  pains  without 
genius  could  not  enable  one  to  speak  with  Nature's  sacred  voice.  Disraeli's 
phrase  might  have  been  borrowed  from  Carlyle, — "  Patience  is  a  necessary 
ingredient  of  genius"  (Contarini  Fleming,  Part  iv.,  ch.  v.).  Perhaps  Matthew 
Arnold  has  come  closest  to  the  form  of  expression  which  succinctly  sums  up 
Carlyle's  doctrine  :  "  Genius  is  mainly  an  affair  of  energy ;"  for  energy  is 
God-given,  yet  the  direction  which  energy  shall  take  is  decided  by  human 
expediency. 

Genius  and  Madness.  No  couplet  of  Dryden's  is  better  known  than 
this: 

Great  wits  are  sure  to  madness  near  allied. 
And  thin  partitions  do  their  bounds  divide.* 

Absalom  and  Achitophel,  Part  i.,  1.  163. 

The  thought  is  very  ancient  and  wide-spread.  It  acquired  especial  promi- 
nence among  the  Greeks  and  Romans,  who  looked  on  creative  genius  as  a 
direct  action  of  the  Deity  on  the  productive  mind,  a  possession  of  the  indi- 
vidual spirit  by  the  god,  exciting  it  to  a  pitch  of  frenzy  or  mania.  Hence 
classical  literature  abounds  with  expressions  that  tend  to  assimilate  the  man 
of  genius  to  a  madman.  The  "furor  poeticus"  of  Cicero  and  the  "amabilis 
insania"  of  Horace's  answer  to  the  Gda  fiavla  of  Plato.  Indeed,  Plato  went  so 
far  as  to  suggest  that  the  name  fiuvuc,  seer,  was  derived  from  fzaivo/xai,  to  "  rage" 
or  "be  mad."  And  even  to  the  more  scientific  mind  of  Aristotle  it  appeared 
certain  that  "  No  excellent  soul  is  exempt  from  a  mixture  of  madness"  {Prod' 
lematicon,  30),  a  proposition  that  is  quoted  approvingly  by  Seneca  in  his  essay 
on  "The  Tranquillity  of  the  Mind:"  "Nullum  magnum  ingenium  sine  mix- 
tura  dementiae."  But  it  must  be  remembered  that  among  the  ancients 
genius  was  hardly  degraded  by  this  companionship  with  madness.  It  was  a 
common  belief — a  belief  still  surviving  among  many  savage  tribes  t — that  the 
insane  were  themselves  inspired  by  the  action  of  Deity.  Not  till  the  advent 
of  Christianity  was  mental  derangement  branded  with  the  mark  of  degradation. 
In  the  early  Church  the  doctrine  of  possession  assumed  a  distinctly  repellent 
form  by  the  introduction  of  the  Oriental  idea  of  an  evil  spirit  taking  captive 
the  human  frame  and  using  it  as  an  instrument  for  its  foul  purposes.  Yet  this 
doctrine  had  no  appreciable  effect  in  dissolving  the  companionship  of  the  two 
ideas  in  popular  thought.     For  the  attitude  of  the  Church  was,  for  the  most 


*  In  this  connection  it  may  be  noted  that  Pope,  with  evident  plagiaristic  reminiscence,  has 
used  Drj'den's  phraseology,  though  with  a  different  application  : 
Remembrance  and  reflection,  how  allied  ! 
What  thin  partitions  sense  from  thought  divide  ! 

Essay  on  Man,   Epist.  i.,  I.  225. 
t  See  Cooper's  "  Deerslayer." 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  41 1 

part,  hostile  to  new  ideas,  and  so  to  men  of  original  power,  who  were  again 
and  again  branded  as  heretics  and  as  wicked  men  possessed  by  the  devil. 
And  thus  genius  was  attached  to  insanity  by  a  new  bond  of  kinship.  It  might 
be  imagined  that  the  mocrern  conception  of  genius  and  insanity,  which  looks 
on  the  one  as  the  highest  product  of  Nature's  organic  energy,  which  sees  in 
the  other  no  supernatural  agency  either  of  god  or  of  devil,  but  only  a  form 
of  disintegration  and  dissolution, — it  might  be  imagined  that  this  coinception 
would  necessitate  a  sharp  severance  of  the  new  ideas.  Such,  however,  has 
not  been  the  case.  In  modern  literature  we  meet  with  an  unmistakable  ten- 
dency to  maintain  the  old  association.  Even  so  sane  and  serene  a  spirit  as 
Shakespeare  asserted  the  affinity  between  poetic  creation  and  madness : 

The  lunatic,  the  lover,  and  the  poet 

Are  of  imagination  all  compact. 

Midsummer  Night's  Dream,  Act  v.,  Sc.  i. 

Dryden's  contemporary,  Rochester,  has  a  faint  adumbration  of  the  thought : 
An  eminent  fool  must  be  a  man  of  parts. 

But  this  is  evidently  "  wrote  sarcastical."  Serious  affirmation  of  the  para- 
dox, however,  may  be  found  in  French  writers.  "  Many  great  wits,"  writes 
Montaigne,  after  a  visit  to  Tasso  in  his  asylum,  "find  themselves  ruined  by 
their  very  force  and  suppleness."  And  almost  simultaneously  Passerat  said,  in 
his  epigram  on  Thulene  the  buffoon, — 

Le  poete  et  le  fou  sont  de  meme  nature. 
("  The  poet  and  the  fool  are  of  the  same  nature.") 

Closer  parallels  to  Dryden's  phrase  may  be  found  in  Pascal,  "  L'extreme 
esprit  est  voisin  de  l'extreme  folic"  {"  Extreme  wit  is  the  neighbor  of  extreme 
folly");  in  Diderot,  "O,  que  le  genie  et  la  folic  se  touchent  de  bien  pres  !" 
("  Oh,  how  closely  genius  and  folly  touch  !") ;  in  Beaumarchais,  "  Que  les  gens 
d'esprit  sont  betes  !"  ("  How  stupid  are  the  wits  !") ;  and  in  La  Rochefoucauld, 
"The  subtlest  folly  grows  out  of  the  subtlest  wisdom."  The  same  general 
proposition  is  less  pungently  but  no  less  directly  asserted  by  Lamartine : 
"  Genius  bears  within  it  a  principle  of  destruction,  of  death,  of  folly,  as  the 
fruit  bears  the  worm."  And,  again,  he  speaks  of  that  "maladie  mentale" 
which  is  called  genius.  In  German  literature  it  is  not  strange  to  see  Scho- 
penhauer reaffirm  the  same  idea.  But  even  Goethe,  as  wholesome  a  mind  as 
Shakespeare,  falls  in  with  the  majority.  His  drama  "Tasso"  is  an  elaborate 
attempt  to  uncover  and  expose  the  morbid  growths  which  are  apt  to  cling 
parasitically  about  the  tender  plant  of  genius.  And  against  this  compact  con- 
sensus of  opinion  on  the  one  side  we  have  only  a  rare  protest  like  that  of 
Charles  Lamb  on  behalf  of  the  radical  sanity  of  genius  {Last  Essays  of  Elia: 
Sanity  of  True  Genhis).  "Such  a  mass  of  opinion,"  says  Mr.  J.  Sully,  from 
whose  essay  on  "  Genius  and  Insanity"  {Nmeteenth  Century,  xvii.  948)  much 
of  the  above  has  been  condensed,  "  cannot  lightly  be  dismissed  as  value- 
less. It  is  impossible  to  set  down  utterances  of  men  like  Diderot  or  Goethe 
to  the  envy  of  mediocrity.  Nor  can  we  readily  suppose  that  so  many  pene- 
trating intellects  have  been  misled  by  a  passion  for  startling  paradox.  We 
are  to  remember,  moreover,  that  this  is  not  a  view  of  the  great  man  ah  extra, 
like  that  of  the  vulgar  already  referred  to  :  it  is  the  opinion  of  members  of 
the  distinguished  fraternity  themselves,  who  are  able  to  observe  and  stiidy 
genius  from  the  inside.  Still,  it  may  be  said,  this  is,  after  all,  only  unscientific 
opinion.  Has  science,  with  her  more  careful  method  of  investigating  and 
proving,  anything  to  say  on  this  interesting  theme?  It  is  hardly  to  be  sup- 
posed that  she  would  have  overlooked  so  fascinating  a  subject.  And,  as  a 
matter  of  fact,  it  has  received  a  considerable  amount  of  attention  from  pathol- 
ogists and  psychologists.     And  here,  for  once,  science  appears  to  support  the 


412  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

popular  opinion.  The  writers  who  have  made  the  subject  their  special  study 
agree  as  to  the  central  fact  that  there  is  a  relation  between  high  intellectual 
endowment  and  mental  derangement,  though  they  dififer  in  their  way  of 
defining  this  relation.  This  conclusion  is  reached  both  inductively  by  a  sur- 
vey of  facts,  and  deductively  by  reasoning  from  the  known  nature  and  condi- 
tions of  great  intellectual  achievement  on  the  one  hand,  and  of  mental  disease 
on  the  other."*  Mr.  Sully  finds  an  explanation  in  the  preternatural  sensi- 
tiveness of  nerve  which  is  the  usual  accompaniment  of  genius.  "  The  fine 
nervous  organization,  tremulously  responsive  to  every  touch,  constitutes  in 
itself,  in  this  all  too  imperfect  world  of  ours,  a  special  dispensation  of  sorrow. 
Exquisite  sensibility  seems  to  be  connected  with  a  delicate  poise  of  nervous 
structure  eminently  favorable  to  the  experience  of  jarring  and  dislocating 
shock.  And  it  is  this  preponderance  of  rude  shock  over  smooth,  agreeable 
stimulation — of  a  sense  of  dissonance  in  things  over  the  joyous  consciousness 
of  harmony — which  seems  to  supply  one  of  the  most  powerful  incitants  to  the 
life  of  imagination." 

Gentle  craft,  a  popular  designation  for  shoemakers,  which,  according  to 
Brady  ("  Clavis  Calendaria"),  arose  from  the  fact  that  in  an  old  romance  a 
prince  of  the  name  of  Crispin  is  made  to  exercise  the  trade  of  shoemaking, 
in  honor  of  his  namesake,  Saint  Crispin.  There  is  a  tradition  that  King 
Edward  IV.,  in  one  of  his  disguises,  once  drank  with  a  party  of  shoemakers, 
and  pledged  them.  The  story  is  alluded  to  in  the  old  play  of  "  George 
a-Greene"  (1599) : 

Marry,  because  you  have  drank  with  the  King, 

And  the  King  hath  so  graciously  pledged  you. 

You  shall  no  more  be  called  shoemakers ; 

But  you  and  yours,  to  the  world's  end, 

Shall  be  called  the  trade  of  the  gentle  craft. 

Gentle  shepherd,  tell  me  "where !  "  Let  them  tell  me  where.  I  say, 
sir,  let  them  tell  me  where.  I  repeat  it,  sir :  I  am  entitled  to  say  to  them, 
tell  me  where,"'cried  Grenville,  in  the  debate  on  the  budget  of  1762,  when  it 
was  proposed  as  necessary  to  lay  an  additional  tax.  "  Gentle  shepherd,  tell 
me  where  !"  hummed  Pitt,  quoting  the  song  of  Dr.  Samuel  Howard.  "  It 
was  long,"  wrote  Macaulay  {Essay  on  Lord  Chatham),  "before  Grenville  lost 
the  nickname  of  '  Gentle  Shepherd'  which  Pitt  fixed  upon  him." 

Geographical  Idea,  Italy  only  a.  This  was  an  expression  of  Prince 
Metternich,  during  the  Austrian  dominion  in  Italy,  to  denote  that  in  the  policy 
of  the  empire  that  country  was  not  a  state  or  people  with  any  rights  which, 
in  the  comity  of  nations,  Austria  was  bound  to  respect. 

Equal  in  sardonic  humor  to  this  phrase  was  the  one  applied  to  the  empire 
of  Brazil.  In  view  of  the  fact  that,  for  all  its  immense  size,  only  a  narrow  fringe 
of  coast-line  was  populated  to  any  extent,  the  greater  part  of  the  interior  being 
trackless  wilderness,  the  empire  was  called  an  "  empire  en  profile." 

German.  Can  a  German  have  "wit?  [esprit),  the  famous  question 
propounded  by  the  Jesuit  Pere  Bouhours  (1628-1702),  which  has  excited  as 
great  a  sensation  in  the  German  and  German-loving  public  as  the  parallel 
question  by  Sydney  Smith,  "Who  reads  an  American  book.?"  did  among 
Americans.  I'ut  if  you  take  esprit  in  the  larger  sense  of  genius,  Bouhours's 
remark  was  far  the  more  unjust.     Indeed,  Sydney  Smith's  query,  as  glossed 


*  The  principal  authoritative  utterances  on  the  subject  are  Moreau,  "  La  Psychologie  mor- 
bide,"  etc. ;  Hagen,  "  Ueber  die  Verwandtschaft  des  Gcnies  mit  dem  Irresein"  (Zeitschri/t 
fur  Psychiatrie,  Band  xxxiii.);  and  Radestock,  "Genie  und  Wahnsinn"  (Breslau,  1884). 
This  last  contains  the  latest  review  of  the  whole  question,  and  is  written  in  a  thoroughly- 
cautious,  scientific  spirit. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  4^3 

by  himself  (see  American,  Who  reads,  etc.),  was  a  very  fair  one.  In  the 
face  of  the  "Nibelungenlied"  and  "  Reinecke  Fuchs,"  of  Ulrich  von  Hutten, 
Opitz,  Flamming,  Logau,  Kepler,  and  Leibnitz,  the  good  Pere  Bouhours  was 
only  confessing  his  ignorance.  The  great  new-birth  of  German  literature  of 
which  Goethe  and  Schiller  were  the  hierophants  followed  hard  upon  his  ques- 
tion, and  made  it  trebly  ridiculous,  so  that  now,  in  Carlyle's  words,  "it  is  by 
this  one  untimely  joke  that  the  hapless  Jesuit  is  doomed  to  live  ;  for  the  bless- 
ing of  full  oblivion  is  denied  him,  and  so  he  hangs,  suspended  in  his  own 
noose,  over  the  dusky  pool,  which  he  struggles  towards,  but  for  a  great  while 
will  not  reach.  Might  his  fate  but  serve  as  a  warning  to  kindred  men  of  wit, 
in  regard  to  this  and  so  many  other  subjects!  For  surely  the  pleasure  of 
despising,  at  all  times  and  in  itself  a  dangerous  luxury,  is  much  safer  after  the 
toil  of  examining  than  before  it."  {Essays:  State  of  German  Literature.) 

Gerrymander,  in  American  political  slang,  an  arbitrary  arrangement  of 
the  political  subdivisions  of  a  State,  in  disregard  of  the  natural  or  proper 
boundaries  as  indicated  by  geography  or  position,  so  made  as  to  give  one 
party  an  unfair  advantage  over  the  other.  The  origin  of  the  term  is  as  follows. 
In  iSii  Elbridge  Gerry  was  elected  Governor  of  Massachusetts  by  the  Demo- 
crats. Both  legislative  houses  also  were  Democratic,  though  by  no  great 
majority.  To  retain  their  hold  in  the  future  and  to  control  the  election  of 
United  States  Senators,  the  party  in  power  proceeded  to  rearrange  the  repre- 
sentative districts,  in  order  that  a  large  number  of  Federal  votes  might  be 
thrown  together  in  one  or  two  districts,  leaving  the  other  districts  controlled 
by  a  safe  majority  of  Democratic  votes.  This  act  was  officially  "approved" 
by  the  governor,  though  it  is  now  known  that  he  had  opposed  it  at  the  start, 
and  he  naturally  shared  the  odium  of  its  passage.  In  Essex  County  the 
redistricting  was  especially  absurd.  Benjamin  Russell,  editor  of  the  Colum- 
bian Centinel,  a  Federalist  paper  published  in  Boston,  hung  on  his  office  wall 
a  map  of  that  county  as  rearranged.  Gilbert  Stuart,  the  painter,  remarked 
that  the  map  looked  like  some  monstrous  animal.  Adding  a  few  rapid  strokes 
with  his  pencil,  he  said,  "  That  will  do  for  a  salamander."  "  A  salamander  !" 
said  Russell ;  "call  it  a  gerrymander."  Thus  the  word  was  born,  and  it  was 
immediately  adopted  as  a  Federal  war-cry.  The  map  caricature  was  scattered 
broadcast  as  a  campaign  document.  But  in  spite  of  the  indignation  aroused,  in 
spite  of  the  fact  that  in  the  next  State  election  the  Federalists  cast  two-thirds 
of  all  the  votes  cast,  the  gerrymander  had  been  so  successful  that  the  Demo- 
crats retained  a  majority  in  both  houses. 

Ghost  walks.  The,  a  bit  of  theatrical  and  journalistic  slang  for  "salaries 
are  paid,"  whose  origin  is  thus  explained.  During  a  rehearsal  of  "  Hamlet" 
by  a  company  of  English  strolling  players  whose  salaries  had  been  long  in 
arrears,  the  Ghost,  in  answer  to  Hamlet's  exclamation,  "  Perchance  'twill 
walk  again,"  shouted,  emphatically,  "No!  I'm  d— d  if  the  Ghost  walks  any 
more  until  our  salaries  are  paid  !" 

Ghoulish  glee,  an  epithet  used  by  President  Cleveland  to  describe  the 
delight  of  the  inquisitive  newspaper  reporter  at  unearthing  private  details  or 
a  family  skeleton.  It  was  at  once  caught  up  by  the  press  and  the  public,  who 
were  already  familiar  with  the  term  ghoul  as  applied  to  the  chroniclers  of 
gossip. 

The  ghouls  also  reported  that  Mrs.  Folsom,  in  the  absence  of  Mrs.  Cleveland,  had  licked 
Hector  [the  President's  dog]  for  being  too  fresh  and  promiscuous.  The  ghouls  who  haunt 
Mr.  Cleveland  are  not  confined  to  the  Republican  press.  Far  from  it.  A  ghoul  of  the  Wash- 
ington Post  reported  that  the  sex  of  Hector  had  been  misunderstood,  and  his  (her)  real  sex 
just  discovered. — New  Yurk  World. 

35* 


414  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

H.  E.  Bunner  has  founded  upon  the  above  report  his  humorous  story 
"  Hector"  in  "  Short  Sixes." 

Giant  and  Dwarf.  In  his  "  Anatomy  of  Melancholy,"  Burton  quotes  a 
famous  and  oft-used  figure  : 

I  say  with  Didacus  Stella,  a  dwarf  standing  on  the  shoulders  of  a  giant  may  see  farther  than 
a  giant  himself. — Democritus  to  the  Reader. 

The  original  Latin  runs  as  follows  : 

Pigmaei  gigantum  humeris  impositi  plusquam  ipsi  gigantes  vident  ("  Pygmies  placed  on 
the  shoulders  of  giants  see  more  than  the  giants  themselves"). — Didacus  Stella  :  Lucan, 
lo,  torn.  ii. 

A  few  English  parallels  may  be  noted  : 

A  dwarf  on  a  giant's  shoulders  sees  farther  of  the  two. — Herbert  :  Jacula  Prudentutn. 
A  dwarf  sees  farther  than  the  giant  when  he  has  the  giant's  shoulders  to  mount  on. — Cole- 
ridge :   'J'Ae  Friend,  sect,  i.,  Essay  viii. 

Pygmies  are  pygmies  still,  though  percht  on  Alps; 

And  pyramids  are  pyramids  in  vales. 

Each  man  makes  his  own  stature,  builds  himself. 

Virtue  alone  outbuilds  the  pyramids ; 

Her  monuments  shall  last  when  Egypt's  fall. 

Young  :  Night  Thoughts,  Night  vi.,  1.  309. 

Gifts,  A  familiar  proverb  advises  you,  "Never  look  a  gift-horse  in  the 
mouth,"  meaning  that  all  presents  should  be  thankfully  accepted  without 
criticism.  That  the  proverb  was  familiar  in  the  fourth  century  is  evident  from 
the  fact  that  when  some  one  found  fault  with  certain  writings  of  St.  Jerome, 
he  tartly  retorted  that  they  were  free-will  offerings  on  his  part,  and  that  it  did 
not  behoove  to  look  a  gift-horse  in  the  mouth,  "  Equi  dentes  inspicere  donati" 
(FreEm.  m  Epist.  ad Ephes.).  The  sense,  though  not  the  form,  is  found  in  one  of 
the  proverbs  of  the  Greek  paroemiographists,  "  Whatever  gift  any  one  gives, 
praise."  Among  Latin  proverbs  it  appears,  "  Nihil  recusandum,  quod  dona- 
tur."  The  thoughtful,  however,  went  a  step  further,  and  considered  the 
intention  of  the  giver.  This  is  the  feeling  of  Virgil  in  the  well-known 
expression 

Timeo  Danaos  et  dona  ferentes, 
("  I  fear  the  Greeks  even  when  they  bring  presents,") 

jEneid,  ii.  49 ; 

and  of  Seneca, — 

Quum  quod  datur  spectabis,  et  dantem  aspice. 

Thyest. 

Ovid  also  thinks  we  ought  to  look  at  something  more  than  the  gift,  and 
consider  the  donor : 

Sic  acceptissima  semper 
Munera  sunt,  auctor  quae  pretiosa  facit. 

Heroides. 

A  writer  in  Notes  and  Queries,  fourth  series,  xi,  454,  who  furnishes  several 
of  the  above  citations,  suggests  that  it  was  the  monks  of  the  Middle  Ages 
who  thought  that  all  was  fish  that  came  to  their  net,  and  who  accepted  any- 
thing that  was  presented  to  them,  without  caring  to  examine  too  curiously  into 
the  character  of  the  gift.  And  he  quotes  the  old  monkish  rhyme, — 
Si  quis  det  mannos,  ne  quaere  in  dentibus  annos. 
Heywood  gives  the  maxim  in  this  form  : 

No  man  ought  to  looke  a  given  horse  in  the  mouth. 

Proverbs,  Part  i.,  chap.  15. 

And  it  is  also  quoted  by  Rabelais,  Book  i.,  chap.  xL,  and  by  Butler  in 
"  Hadibras,"  Part  i.,  Canto  i.,  1.  490. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  41S 

Analogies  more  or  less  remote  may  be  detected  in  the  following : 
Beggars  should  be  no  choosers. — Heywood  ;  Proverbs,  Part  i.,  ch.  x. 
Might  have  gone  further  and  have  fared  -worse.— IbiJ. 

Ay,  now  am  I  in  Arden :  the  more  fool  I.  When  I  was  at  home  I  was  in  a  better  place; 
but  travellers  must  be  content. — Shakespeare:  As  Vou  Like  It,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  4. 

Gigmanity.  This  worS  is  a  mintage  of  Thomas  Carlyle,  and  was  used  by 
him  to  describe  the  British  Philistine  idea  of  respectability.  But  in  order  to 
coin  the  word  it  was  necessary  for  him  to  invent  facts.  The  word  was  ushered 
into  the  English  language  in  the  essay  on  "  Boswell's  Life  of  Johnson,"  which 
appeared  in  Eraser's  Magazine  (1832),  vol.  v.,  No.  28,  in  a  sentence  describing 
the  curiousness  of  the  fact  that  a  Scottish  limb  of  a  Laird  of  the  Lairds  should 
be  attracted  to  such  an  apparent  opposite  as  was  the  object  of  his  worship, 
Johnson : 

And  now  behold  the  worthy  Bozzy,  so  prepossessed  and  held  back  by  nature  and  by  art, 
fly  nevertheless  like  iron  to  its  magnet,  whither  his  better  genius  called  !  You  may  surround 
the  iron  and  the  magnet  with  what  enclosures  and  encumbrances  you  please, — with  wood, 
with  rubbish,  with  brass:  it  matters  not.  the  two  feel  each  other,  they  struggle  restlessly 
toward  each  other,  they  ivill  be  together.  The  iron  may  be  a  Scottish  squirelet,  full  of  gulosity 
and  "  gigmanity,' '  the  magnet  an  English  plebeian,  and  moving  rag-  and  dust-mountain,  coarse, 
proud,  irascible,  imperious  :  nevertheless,  behold  how  they  embrace,  and  inseparably  cleave 
to  one  another. 

And  in  a  foot-note  he  puts  this  alleged  extract  from  the  trial  of  one  Thur- 
tell  for  the  murder  of  Mr.  Weare,  in  October,  1823 : 

Q.  '•  What  do  you  mean  by  respectable  ?"  A.  "  He  always  kept  a  gig."  (ThurteW  s  Trial .) 
"  Thus,"  it  has  been  said,  "does  society  naturally  divide  itself  into  four  classes:  Noblemen, 
Gentlemen,  Gigmen,  and  Men." 

Curiously  enough,  no  such  question  and  answer  are  to  be  found  in  the 
report  of  the  trial  of  Thurtell,  which  was  published  by  T.  Kelly  in  Paternoster 
Row  in  1824.  The  nearest  approach  to  them  is  in  a  request  of  Thurtell,  tes- 
tified to,  that  one  Hunt,  who  "  hired  a  gig,"  should  be  brought  to  him  by  one 
Probert  in  his  gig. 

Carlyle  rung  many  changes  on  his  root-word  "gigman," — i'.^.,  gigmanine, 
gigmanic,  etc.  There  are  even  she-gigmen  :  thus,  Froude  reports  this  little 
speech  to  his  wife  :  "  Yes,  Jeannie,  though  I  have  brought  you  into  rough, 
rugged  conditions,  I  feel  I  have  saved  you  ;  as  gigmaness  you  could  not  have 
lived." 

The  words  have  been  duly  legitimized  and  found  their  place  in  the  language. 

Gilderoy's  Kite,  Gilderoy,  a  corruption  of  Gillie  roy,  "red-headed 
gilly,"  was  the  sobriquet  of  a  Scottish  outlaw  named  Patrick  Macgregor,  of 
the  same  clan  as  Rob  Roy,  who  infested  the  highlands  of  Perthshire.  In 
retaliation  for  the  capture  of  a  couple  of  his  followers,  he  renewed  his  depre- 
dations with  such  violence  that  the  aroused  people  turned  out  to  bring 
him  to  justice.  He  and  a  number  of  his  men  were  captured,  tried,  and 
hanged  at  Edinburgh,  June,  1636,  he  being  accorded  a  gallows  high  above  his 
fellows,  and  his  body  maintaining  the  bad  pre-eminence  when  all  were  hung  in 
chains.  A  contemporary  ballad,  put  into  the  mouth  of  his  Highland  sweet- 
heart, runs  as  follows : 

Of  Gilderoy  sae  fraid  they  ware. 

They  bound  him  mickle  strong ; 
Tell  Edenburrow  they  led  him  thair. 

And  on  a  gallows  hong. 
They  hong  him  high  abone  the  rest. 
He  was  so  trim  a  boy. 
In  Scottish,  kite,  or  kyte,  means  stomach,  or  belly,  and  this  by  an  easy 
extension  was  sometimes  aiiplied  to  the  whole  body.     Therefore  the  expres- 
sion means  "  As  high  as  Gilderoy's  carcass."     A  similar  phrase,  "  As  high  as 


41 6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Haman,"  is  an  allusion  to  the  disgraced  favorite  of  Ahasuerus  who  was 
hanged  on  the  gallows,  fifty  cubits  high,  which  he  had  prepared  for  Mordecai. 
When  Andrew  Jackson  in  his  last  illness  was  asked  by  his  attending  physician, 
Dr.  Edgar,  what  he  would  have  done  if  Calhoun  and  his  followers  had  per- 
sisted in  their  attempts  at  nullification,  "  Hung  them,  sir,"  he  cried,  "as  high 
as  Haman  !  They  should  have  been  a  terror  to  t»aitors  to  all  time,  and  pos- 
terity would  have  pronounced  it  the  best  act  of  my  life." 

Giotto's  O,  As  round  as,  a  common  proverb  in  Italy  even  to  this  day. 
Giotto's  reputation  spread  rapidly  soon  after  he  began  to  study  with  Cimabue, 
who  had  discovered  him,  a  poor  shepherd-lad,  scratching  drawings  of  his 
charges  upon  a  flat  stone,  and  had  taken  him  home  to  instruct  him.  Pope 
Boniface  VHI.  invited  young  Giotto  to  Florence.  The  pope's  messenger,  in 
order  to  make  sure  that  he  had  found  the  right  person,  demanded  some 
evidence  of  the  artist's  skill.  With  one  stroke  Giotto  drew  a  perfect  circle, 
which  satisfied  the  messenger  that  this  was  the  great  Giotto.  "  Rounder  than 
the  O  of  Giotto"  is  a  favorite  hyperbole  to  indicate  impossible  perfection. 

Girdle.     Puck,  in  "  A  Midsummer  Night's  Dream,"  Act  ii.,  Sc.  i,  when 
despatched  after  the  flower  love-in-idleness,  tells  Oberon, — 
I'll  put  a  girdle  round  about  the  earth 
In  forty  mmutes. 

The  same  metaphor  had  already  been  used  by  George  Chapman  : 
And  as  great  seamen  using  all  their  wealth 
And  skill  in  Neptune's  deep  invisible  paths, 
In  tall  ships  richly  built  and  ribbed  with  brass. 
To  put  a  girdle  round  about  the  earth. 

Bussy  D'Ambois,  Act  i.,  Sc.  i. 

Glass  houses,  People  who  live  in,  should  not  throw  stones.  When 
the  Scotch  came  over  with  James  I.,  the  windows  of  their  houses  were  broken 
at  the  instance  of  the  Duke  of  Buckingham  and  others.  The  .Scots,  in  return, 
broke  the  windows  in  Buckingham's  palace,  known  as  the  "Glass  House." 
He  complained  to  the  king,  who  replied,  "Those  who  live  in  glass  houses, 
Steenie,  should  be  careful  how  they  throw  stones."  But  James  was  only 
quoting  with  a  punning  application.  The  proverb  was  an  old  one  in  his  day. 
Analogous  expressions  are,  "  Satia  te  sanguine  quem  sitisti,"  "  Dedi  malum  et 
accepi,"  "Csdes  Neoptolemea." 

Glittering  generalities.  This  phrase,  much  used  in  American  politics, 
to  designate  the  sounding  but  uncompromising  resolutions  which  make  up 
the  greater  part  of  the  platforms  of  political  parties  in  the  United  States, 
originated  in  a  remark  in  a  letter  from  Rufus  Choate  to  the  Maine  Whig  Con- 
vention, August  9,  1856.  Speaking  of  a  government  based  on  Northern 
anti-slavery  ideas,  he  referred  to  the  charter  or  constitution  of  such  a  pro- 
posed government  as  being  "  the  glittering  and  sounding  generalities  of  natural 
right  which  make  up  the  Declaration  of  Independence."  The  letter,  and 
particularly  the  phrase  quoted,  created  quite  a  noise  and  much  vigorous  pro- 
test. Among  others,  Emerson  retorted  that  the  things  referred  to  in  the 
letter  as  "glittering  generalities,"  in  the  Declaration  of  Human  Rights  con- 
tained in  the  document  thus  disparagingly  alluded  to,  were  in  fact  '■^blazing 
ubiquities." 

God.  Had  I  served  God  as  diligently  as  the  king.  "  Father  Abbot, 
I  have  come  to  lay  my  weary  bones  among  you."  With  these  words  the  fallen 
Wolsey  came  among  the  monks  of  Leicester  Abbey,  November  26,  1529.  He 
died  a  prisoner  in  November  of  the  following  year,  and  his  last  words,  uttered 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  417 

to  the  captain  of  the  guard,  Sir  William  Kingston,  not  to  Cromwell,  as  in  the 
play,  have  become  famous  by  Shakespeare's  paraphrase  : 

O  Cromwell,  Cromwell, 
Had  I  but  served  my  God  with  half  the  zeal 
I  served  my  king,  he  would  not  in  mine  age 
Have  left  me  naked  to  mine  enemies. 

He7try  VIII.,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  2. 

What  the  deposed  and  dying  one-time  Prince  Cardinal  of  the  Church  and 
Chancellor  of  England  actually  did  say  was,  "  Had  I  served  God  as  diligently 
as  I  have  the  king,  he  would  not  have  given  me  over  in  my  gray  hairs." 

God.     If  God  did  not  exist,  it  would  be  necessary  to  invent  him. 

This  line  was  written  by  Voltaire,  and  first  used  by  him  in  a  pamphlet  against 
an  atheist  {Epitre  CXI,  d.  lAutetir  du  Livre  des  Trois  Imposteiirs),  and  also 
in  a  letter  to  Frederick  :  "  Though  I  am  seldom  satisfied  with  my  lines,  I  must 
confess  that  I  feel  for  this  one  the  tenderness  of  a  father."  The  origin  of  the 
phrase  is  sometimes  referred  to  Archbishop  Tillotson,  who  died  the  year 
Voltaire  was  born  (1694) : 

If  God  were  not  a  necessary  Being  of  himself,  he  might  almost  seem  to  be  made  for  the 
use  and  benefit  of  men. — Sermon  XCIIL,  ed.  1712. 

There  is,  truly  enough,  a  great  resemblance  between  the  expressions,  but 
there  is  no  reason  to  suppose  that  Voltaire  copied  the  archbishop.  That 
humanity  must  have  a  gospel  is  an  old  thought.  As  Bacon  shrewdly  remarks, 
"Atheism  is  rather  in  the  lip  than  in  the  heart,"  because  "you  shall  have  of 
them  that  will  suffer  for  Atheism  and  not  recant.  Whereas,  if  they  did  truly 
think  that  there  were  no  God,  why  should  they  trouble  themselves .-'"  If  it 
can  find  none  better,  it  will  erect  for  itself  a  gospel  of  Mammonism,  with  its 
"singular  Hell ;"  in  the  words  of  Herr  Sauerteig,  "the  terror  of 'not  succeed- 
ing ;'  of  not  making  money,  fame,  or  some  other  fi'gure  in  the  world."  (Car- 
LYLE:  Past  and  Prese7it,  Book  iii.,  ch.  ii.) 

Of  course  Voltaire's  pride  of  fatherhood  is  not  of  the  idea,  but  extends 
only  to  the  form,  the  epigrammatic  way  in  which  he  has  put  it.  It  has  been 
imitated  and  echoed  since  his  day  in  many  directions  and  with  most  diverse 
applications.  In  voting  for  the  death  of  Louis  XVI.,  Millaud  borrowed  it, 
making  a  change  to  suit  the  occasion  :  "  If  death  did  not  exist  to-day,  it  would 
be  necessary  to  invent  it." 

Bismarck's  variation  is  historic.  It  was  made  in  1862,  when  he  was  Prussian 
minister  at  Paris.  Napoleon  III.,  by  his  Italian  policy,  had  weakened  Austria 
and  jeopardized  her  preponderant  position  in  the  Germanic  Confederation,  to 
the  consequent  advantage  of  Prussia,  the  very  power  which  Napoleon  least 
wished  to  favor.  Bismarck,  rejoicing  in  the  situation,  said  to  Chevalier  Nigra, 
the  Italian  minister,  "  If  Italy  did  not  exist,  it  would  be  necessary  to  invent 
her." 

God.  If  there  be  a  God.  In  his  "  Apologia  pro  Vita  sua,"  John  Henry 
Newman  says  that  if  Bishop  Butler's  doctrine,  that  probability  is  the  guide 
of  life,  were  to  be  allowed,  "then  the  celebrated  saying,  'O  God,  if  there  be 
a  God,  save  my  soul,  if  I  have  a  soul,'  would  be  the  highest  measure  of  devo- 
tion." The  earliest  appearance  in  literature  of  this  saying  seems  to  be  in 
King's  "  Anecdotes  of  his  own  Times,"  pp.  7-9,  describing  an  incident  at  a 
dinner-party  given  by  the  Duke  of  Ormond  in  1715  :  "Sir  William  Wyndham 
told  us  that  the  shortest  prayer  he  had  ever  heard  was  the  prayer  of  a  com- 
mon soldier  just  before  the  battle  of  Blenheim  :  '  O  God,  if  there  be  a  God, 
save  my  soul,  if  I  have  a  soul.'  This  was  followed  by  a  general  laugh.  At- 
terbury,  seeming  to  join  in  the  conversation,  and  applying  himself  to  Sir 
William  Wyndham,  said,  '  Your  prayer,  Sir  William,  is  indeed  very  short ; 
bb 


41 8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

but  I  remember  another  as  short,  but  much  better,  offered  up  likewise  by  a 
poor  soldier  in  the  same  circumstances  :  "  O  God,  if  in  the  day  of  battle  I 
forget  thee,  do  not  thou  forget  me  !"  '  This,  as  Atterbury  pronounced  it  with 
his  usual  grace  and  dignity,  was  a  very  gentle  and  polite  reproof,  and  was  im- 
mediately felt  by  the  whole  company." 

God.    There  is  no  God  but  God,  and  Mohammed  is  his  Prophet! 

These  are  the  words  with  which,  it  has  been  said,  and  long  believed,  Mo- 
hammed publicly  opened  his  reforming  and  proselyting  career.  The  phrase  is 
among  the  historical  apocrypha  ;  the  earlier  biographers  of  the  prophet  do  not 
assert  it,  and  it  is  probably  an  invention  of  a  later  age.  The  exclamation 
"Allah  akbar  !"  ("God  is  great !")  recurs  frequently  in  the  Koran  ;  so  also  do 
the  assertion  made  of  the  wood  and  stone  idols  of  the  pagan  Arabs,  "  Ye  rub 
them  with  oil  and  wax,  and  the  flies  stick  to  them,"  and  "  Islam,  we  must 
submit  to  God."  It  is  also  true  that  the  prophet  claimed  to  be  the  proclaimer 
of  a  divine  message.  All  the  rest,  particularly  the  bumptious  boast  of  the 
second  part  of  the  sentence,  is  probably  pure  invention. 

God  bless  the  Duke  of  Argyll!  Every  reader  of  Macaulay  is  familiar 
with  the  Highlanders'  special  aptitude  for  the  itch.  The  finger-posts  that 
line  the  Highland  high-roads  were  ascribed — or  said  to  be  ascribed — by  the 
grateful  mountaineers  to  Macallum  More's  anxiety  to  satisfy  their  longing  for  a 
satisfactory  scratch.  Hence  the  benediction  on  His  Grace.  In  reality  the 
posts  had  no  such  philanthropic  origin.  After  the  suppression  of  Mar's 
rebellion  in  1715-16,  it  was  resolved  to  open  up  the  Highlands  by  roads 
for  military  purposes.  The  glens  and  bleak  uplands  are  liable  to  be  snowed 
up  and  the  tracks  hidden,  hence  the  latter  are  marked  out  by  finger-posts. 
The  Duke  of  Argyll  was  at  once  the  most  powerful  man  in  the  Highlands 
and  the  main  support  of  loyalty,  and  the  posts  were — ^justly  or  otherwise — 
credited  to  him.  The  whole  story  is  probably  a  southern  sneer  at  the  High- 
landers' liability  to  cutaneous  afflictions  and  their  belief  in  the  omnipotent 
power  of  their  chiefs.  The  distich  celebrating  the  making  of  the  roads  may 
be  more  genuine.     It  runs, — 

Had  you  seen  these  roads  be/ore  thev  were  made. 

You  would  hold  up  your  hands  and  bless  General  Wade. 

God,  Fear  of.  In  this  Biblical  phrase,  "  fear,"  of  course,  means  reverence, 
awe.  Sir  Thomas  Browne  has  nicely  differentiated  the  meaning  in  his 
saying,— 

I  fear  God,  yet  am  not  afraid  of  him. — Religio  Medici,  Book  i.,  52. 
Nevertheless  many  famous  sayings  ignore  these  nuances :  as,  for  instance, 
Pope  : 

Yes,  I  am  proud — I  must  be  proud — to  see 
Men,  not  afraid  of  God,  afraid  of  me. 

In  1887  Prince  Bismarck,  addressing  the  Reichstag,  said,  "  We  Germans 
fear  God,  but  we  fear  nothing  else  in  the  world."  A  storm  of  applause  greeted 
the  words.  A  few  days  later  Prin'ce  William  (the  present  Emperor)  repeated 
the  words,  with  a  slight  alteration,  before  the  Brandenburg  provincial  Landtag. 
The  whole  Fatherland  was  in  ecstasies.  Patriotic  journalists  and  orators 
urged  that  the  words  be  adopted  as  "the  new  German  motto."  And  then  it 
was  discovered  that  the  suggested  motto  is  not  only  a  chestnut,  but  a  chestnut 
of  French  origin.  It  occurs  in  the  first  scene  of  the  first  act  of  Racine's 
"  Athalie,"  where  the  high-priest  Joash  says  to  the  military  commander 
Abner, — 

Je  crains  Dieu,  cher  Abner,  et  n'ai  point  d'autre  crainte. 

Louis  XIV.  attended  the  first  performance  of  "Athalie"  in  1691,  and,  as  a 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  4^9 

contemporary  reports,  the  great  autocrat  indicated  his  gracious  approval  of 
the  sentiment  by  an  emphatic  nodding  of  his  royal  head.  Exactly  a  hundred 
years  later  the  "  winged  words"  of  Racine  were  adopted  as  a  motto  by  an- 
other great  autocrat,  the  Russian  Empress  Catherine.  In  a  letter  to  the 
famous  Swiss  physician  J.  G.  Zimmermann,  the  author  of  the  once  popular 
book  on  "  Solitude,"  the  Empress  complained  that  the  European  sovereigns, 
and  especially  the  sovereign  of  Prussia,  failed  to  see  the  importance  of  com- 
bining to  uphold  the  solidity  of  the  monarchies  against  the  PVench  Republic. 
After  declaring  her  own  love  for  peace  under  a  normal  state  of  things,  she 
closes  her  letter  with  the  words,  "  Je  crains  Dieu,  cher  Abner,  et  n'ai  point 
d'autre  crainte."  Thus  the  "  winged  words"  of  Racine  have  been  adopted  in 
three  successive  centuries  as  a  French,  a  Russian,  and  a  German  motto.  In 
English  literature  the  phrase  has  been  several  times  imitated  : 
Henceforth  the  majesty  of  God  revere  ; 
Fear  him,  and  you  have  nothing  else  to  fear. 

James  Fordyce  (1720-1796) :  Answer  to  a  Gentleman 
who  apologized  to  the  Author  for  Swearing. 
From  piety,  whose  soul  sincere 
Fears  God,  and  knows  no  other  fear. 

W.  Smyth  :   Ode  for  the  Installation  of  the  Duke  of 
Gloucester  as  Chancellor  of  Cambridge. 
Here  is  a  brave  Governor  Samson,  a  man  fearing  God  and  fearing  nothing  else. — Carlyle  : 
Past  and  Present,  Book  ii.,  chap.  xvii. 

God  is  always  on  the  side  of  the  heaviest  battalions.  This  phrase 
is  usually  attributed  to  Napoleon.  But  it  was  a  common  expression  long 
before  his  day.  Marshal  de  la  Ferte  quoted  it  to  Anne  of  Austria  when  that 
sovereign  asserted  that,  though  the  enemy  were  the  strongest,  "  we  have  God 
and  justice  on  our  side."  "  Don't  be  too  sure,"  he  replied  :  "  I  have  always 
found  God  on  the  side  of  the  heaviest  battalions."  It  may  be  found  in  Mme. 
de  Sevigne's  letters  and  in  Voltaire's.  A  paraphrase  occurs  in  Gibbon  : 
"The  winds  and  the  waves  are  always  on  the  side  of  the  ablest  navigators." 
(Decline  and  Fall,  ch.  Ixviii.)  But  before  Gibbon,  or  Voltaire,  or  even  the 
Sevigne,  it  existed  in  the  anonymous  French  epigram, — 
J'ai  toujours  vu  Dieu  dans  la  guerre 
Du  cote  des  gros  bataillons. 

After  all,  the  phrase  is  but  a  wicked  French  travesty  of  the  old  proverb 
"  Fortune  favors  the  strong." 

God  made  the  country,  and  man  made  the  town.  This  famous 
phrase,  which  forms  line  749  of  Cowper's  "Task,"  Book  i.,  is  in  tlie  last 
analysis  a  paraphrase  of  Varro  : 

Divina  natura  dedit  agros,  ars  humana  sedificavit  urbes  ("  Divine  Nature  gave  the  fields, 
human  art  built  the  cities"). — Varro  :  De  Re  Rustica,  iii.  i. 

But  its  history  in  English  literature  has  an  interest  of  its  own.  Here  is  its 
first  appearance:  "  God  Almighty  first  planted  a  garden."  So  says  Bacon, 
sententiously,  in  his  essay  "Of  Gardens."  Cowley,  in  his  essay  on  "The 
Garden,"  adds  an  antithesis,  but  makes  the  phrase  too  quaint  to  be  quotable: 
"  God  the  first  garden  made,  and  the  first  city  Cain."  The  remark  is  pointed 
enough,  but  is  now  a  mere  conceit.  Cowper  has  much  the  same  thought,  but 
softens  the  antithesis,  and  makes  it  a  general  statement  instead  of  a  Scriptural 
allusion.  Theologians  might  question  the  orthodoxy  of  his  line,  but  it  is  a 
vigorous  expression  of  sentiment  if  not  an  accurate  philosophical  formula, 
and  has  therefore  passed  into  the  currency  of  popular  quotation.  It  is  not 
impossible  that  Cowper  had  also  in  mind  the  saying,  familiar  before  his  time, 
"  God  made  man,  and  man  made  money."     The  Lonsdale  Magazine^  vol.  i., 


420  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

p,  512  {1820),  attributes  this  saw  to  one  John  Oldland,  a  rustic  versifier  "who 
existed  about  the  beginning  of  the  last  century."  He  is  said  to  have  made 
the  following  impromptu  on  a  lawyer  who  had  sued  him  for  debt : 

God  mead  man. 

And  man  mead  money. 
God  mead  bees, 

And  bees  mead  honey, 
But  the  Devil  mead  lawyers  an'  'tomies. 
And  pleac'd  'em  at  U'ston  and  Doten  i'  Fomess. 

But  perhaps  Oldland  himself  was  merely  utilizing  a  proverbial  phrase. 

God  tempers  the  -wind  to  the  shorn  lamb.  This  proverbial  phrase, 
which  is  frequently  credited  to  the  Bible,  was  first  used  in  its  present  dress 
by  Laurence  Sterne.  It  appears  in  the  "  Sentimental  Journey"  (1768),  in  the 
story  of  Maria  : 

She  had  travelled  all  over  Lombardy  without  money,  and  through  the  flinty  roads  of  Savoy 
without  shoes:  how  she  had  borne  it,  she  could  not  tell;  but  God  tempers  the  ■wind,  sa.16. 
Maria,  to  the  shorn  lamb.     Shorn,  indeed  !  and  to  the  quick,  said  I. 

Sterne,  however,  was  not  original.  He  was  paraphrasing  the  French 
proverb,  "  Dieu  mesure  le  froid  a  la  brebis  tondue"  (Henri  Estienne  :  Le 
Livre  de  Froverbes  epigrammatiques,  1594),  or  "A  brebis  pres  tondue  Dieu 
lui  mesure  le  vent"  (Labou  :  Froverbes,  1610).  The  latter  form  reappears  in 
literal  English  in  Herbert's  "Jacula  Prudentum"  (1640)  :  "To  a  close-shorn 
sheep  God  gives  wind  by  measure."  Sterne's  substitution  of  lamb  for  sheep 
may  be  more  poetical,  but  it  is  correspondingly  inexact,  as  a  lamb  is  never 
shorn.  Numerous  equivalents  are  to  be  found  in  proverbial  literature  every- 
where : 

Dat  Deus  immiti  cornua  curta  bovi  ("  God  sends  a  cursed  cow  short  "dor-ai,")  .—MediiEval 
Latin. 

The  nest  of  a  blind  bird  is  made  by  God. —  Turkish. 

God  does  not  punish  with  both  hands. — Spanish. 

God  sends  cold  after  clothes. 

The  last  is  an  old  English  proverb  which  finds  a  literal  counterpart  in 
the  Spanish,  Italian,  and  other  languages.  The  widely-diffused  proverbs 
"  Fortune  favors  fools"  and  "  God  takes  care  of  idiots  and  of  drunkards"  are 
not  dissimilar. 

God  we  trust,  In.  This  legend,  which  has  appeared  on  all  gold  and 
silver  coins  of  the  United  States  since  1865,  has  a  curious  history.  In  No- 
vember, 1861,  a  Maryland  farmer  addressed  a  letter  to  Salmon  P.  Chase,  the 
Secretary  of  the  Treasury,  urging  that,  as  we  claimed  to  be  a  Christian  people, 
we  should  make  some  recognition  of  the  Deity  on  our  coins.  The  letter  was 
referred  to  James  Pollock,  Director  of  the  Mint,  who  endorsed  the  suggestion 
and  proposed  the  alternative  mottoes,  "  Our  Country,  Our  God,"  or  "  God  our 
trust."  In  1S62,  and  again  in  1863,  Chase  urged  the  matter  upon  the  atten- 
tion of  Congress, — in  the  latter  year  with  great  earnestness  in  the  following 
terms  :  "  The  motto  suggested,  '  God  our  Trust,'  is  taken  from  our  national 
hymn,  '  The  Star-Spangled  Banner.'  The  sentiment  is  familiar  to  every 
citizen  of  our  country  ;  it  has  thrilled  millions  of  American  freemen.  The  time 
is  propitious  ;  'tis  an  hour  of  national  peril  and  danger,  an  hour  when  man's 
strength  is  weakness,  when  our  strength  and  salvation  must  be  of  God.  Let 
us  reverently  acknowledge  this  sovereignty,  and  let  our  coinage  declare  our 
trust  in  God."  A  two-cent  bronze  piece  was  authorized  to  be  coined  by  Con- 
gress, April  22,  1864,  upon  which  was  first  stamped  the  motto  "In  God  we 
trust,"  in  lieu  of  the  long-standing  "E  Pluribus  Unum  ;"  and  on  March  3, 
1865,  the  Director  of  the  Mint,  with  the  approval  of  the  Secretary  of  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  42 1 

Treasury,  was  authorized  to  place  upon  all  gold  and  silver  coins  susceptible 
of  such  addition  thereafter  to  be  issued  the  motto  "  In  God  we  trust."  And 
thus  was  fulfilled  the  suggestion  of  Francis  Scott  Key  in  the  "  Star-Spangled 
Banner  :" 

Then  conquer  we  must,  when  our  cause  it  is  just. 

And  this  be  our  motto,  "  In  God  is  our  trust." 

Oliver  Cromwell  is  said  to  have  advised  his  troops,  when  they  were  about 
crossing  a  river  to  attack  the  enemy,  "  Put  your  trust  in  God,  but  mind  to 
keep  your  powder  dry  !" 

Gods,  or  Gallery  Gods.  The  Drury  Lane  Theatre,  in  London,  formerly 
had  its  ceiling  painted  to  represent  a  blue  sky  with  clouds,  among  which  were 
Cupids  flitting  about.  This  ceiling  extended  over  the  gallery  :  hence  occu- 
pants of  the  gallery  were  said  to  be  "among  the  gods,"  and  occupants  of  the 
higher  tiers  in  theatres  generally  came  later  to  be  called  "gallery  gods." 

"  Whom  the  gods  love  die  young," 

Quotation  oft  before  us  ; 
But  that  does  not  mean  the  "  gallery  gods," 

Nor  are  the  young  the  chorus. 

Eliitira  Echoes. 

Gods  and  the  Young.  A  favorite  apothegm  with  the  ancient  philoso- 
phers, meaning  that  lengthened  life  brings  accumulated  sin  and  misery,  is 
familiar  to  us  in  the  form  celebrated  by  Byron  : 

"  Whom  the  gods  love  die  young' '  was  said  of  yore. 

Don  Juan,  Canto  iv..  Stanza  12. 

The  nearest  approach  to  the  phrase  in  the  Greek  is  in  Menander  : 

"Ov  oi  ffeoi  <|)iAoO<riv  aTrodvri(TKei.  vioi, 

Meinkke:  Fragtn.  Com.  Cr.,  iv.  105; 

which  Plautus  imitates  thus  : 

Quem  Di  diligunt 
Adolescens  moritur. 

Bacchides,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  7. 
("  He  whom  the  gods  favor  dies  iu  youth.") 

Byron  rings  another  change  on  the  same  theme  : 
Heaven  gives  its  favorites  early  death. 

Childe  Harold,  Canto  iv..  Stanza  102. 

And  Wordsworth  says, — 

The  good  die  first. 
And  they  whose  hearts  are  dry  as  summer's  dust 
Burn  to  the  socket. 

The  Excursion,  Book  i. 

The  Christian  view  is  even  more  emphatic  than  the  pagan.  This  is  how  it 
is  stated  by  R.  S.  Candlish,  D.D.,  Principal  of  the  New  College,  Edinburgh, 
and  the  so-called  Pope  of  the  Free  Kirk  : 

The  death  of  little  children  must  be  held  to  be  one  of  the  fruits  of  redemption.  If  there 
had  been  no  atonement,  there  would  have  been  no  infant  death.  It  is  on  account  of  the  atone- 
ment that  infants  die.  Their  salvation  is  therefore  sure.  Christ  has  purchased  for  himself 
the  joy  of  taking  them,  while  yet  unconscious  of  guilt  or  corruption,  to  be  with  him  in  para- 
dise. That  any  children  at  all  die — that  so  many  little  children  die — is  not  the  least  among 
the  benefits  that  flow  from  his  interposition  as  the  Saviour. —  The  Atonement ,  London,  1861. 

Church-yard  literature  is  fond  of  dwelling  on  the  same  theme.  Two  exam- 
ples must  suffice.     In  Morwenstow  church-yard,  Cornwall,  is  the  following  : 

Those  whom  God  loves  die  young  ! 

They  see  no  evil  days  ; 
No  falsehood  taints  their  tongue. 

No  wickedness  their  ways. 

36 


422  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Baptized,  and  so  made  sure 
To  win  their  blest  abode. 
What  shall  we  pray  for  more  ? 
They  aie  and  are  with  God. 

Notes  and  Queries,  third  series,  vii.  171. 
In  a  graveyard  near  Hartford,  Connecticut,  is  this  : 
Here  lies  two  babies  so  dead  as  nits ; 
De  Lord  he  kilt  them  with  his  ague  fits. 
When  dey  was  too  good  to  live  mit  me, 
He  took  dem  up  to  live  mit  He, 
So  he  did. 
Harper's  Magazine ,  August,  1856,  p.  139. 

Gold,  All  that  glitters  is  not.  The  proverb  was  evidently  a  familiar 
one  in  Chaucer's  day.     He  gives  it  as  an  ott-dit: 

But  all  thing  which  that  shineth  as  the  gold 
Ne  is  no  gold,  as  I  have  herd  it  told. 

The  Chinones  Yemannes  Tale,  line  16,430. 

It  seems  to  have  made  its  first  appearance  in  the  "  Parabolae"  of  Alanus  de 
Insulis,  who  died  in  1294:  "Non  teneas  aurum  totum  quod  splendet  ut 
aurum"  {"  Do  not  hold  everything  as  gold  which  shines  like  gold"). 

Soon  afterwards  it  is  found  in  the  "  Sayings  [Li  Diz]  of  Freire  Denise 
Cordelier,"  circa  1300  :  "  Que  tout  n'est  pas  or  c'on  voit  luire"  ("  Everything 
is  not  gold  that  one  sees  shining"). 

In  English  literature  it  has  made  frequent  appearances  since  Chaucer's 
time : 

All  is  not  golde  that  outward  shewith  bright. 

Lydgate  :   On  tlie  Mutability  0/  Human  Affairs. 
Gold  all  is  not  that  doth  golden  seem. 

Spenser  :  Faerie  Queene,  Book  ii.,  Canto  viii..  Stanza  14. 
All  that  glisters  is  not  gold. 

Shakespeare  :    Merchant  of  Venice,  Act  ii..  So.  7. 
Herbert  :  Jacula  Prudentum. 
All  is  not  gold  that  glisteneth. 

MiDDLETON  :  A  Fair  Quarrel,  verse  i. 
All,  as  they  say,  that  glitters  is  not  gold. 

Dryden  :   The  Hind  and  the  Panther. 

The  same  moral  is  enforced  in  various  other  proverbial  forms, — e.g. : 
Every  glow-worm  is  not  a  fire. — Italian. 

Where  you  think  there  are  flitches  of  bacon  there  are  not  even  hooks  to  hang  them  on. 
— Spa7tish. 

Fronti  nulla  fides. — Latin. 
Appearances  are  deceitful. — English. 

The  last  proverb  is  thus  glossed  by  Judge  Haliburton  :  "Always  judge 
your  fellow-passengers  to  be  the  opposite  of  what  they  appear  to  be.  For 
instance,  a  military  man  is  not  quarrelsome,  for  no  man  doubts  his  courage, 
but  a  snob  is.  A  clergyman  is  not  over  strait-laced,  for  his  piety  is  not  ques- 
tioned, but  a  cheat  is.  A  lawyer  is  not  apt  to  be  argumentative,  but  an  actor 
is.  A  woman  that  is  all  smiles  and  graces  is  a  vixen  at  heart ;  snakes  fasci- 
nate. A  stranger  that  is  obsequious  and  over-civil  without  apparent  cause  is 
treacherous  ;  cats  that  purr  are  apt  to  bite  and  scratch.  Pride  is  one  thing, 
assumption  is  another ;  the  latter  must  always  get  the  cold  shoulder,  for  who- 
ever shows  it  is  no  gentleman  :  men  never  affect  to  be  what  they  are,  but 
what  they  are  not.  The  only  man  who  really  is  what  he  appears  to  be  is — a 
gentleman."  {^Maxims  of  ati  Old  Stager.) 

Good.  'Tis  only  noble  to  be.  In  "  Lady  Clara  Vere  de  Vere," 
Tennyson  says, — 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  423 

Howe'er  it  be,  it  seems  to  me 

'Tis  only  noble  to  be  good. 
Kind  hearts  are  more  than  coronets, 

And  simple  faith  than  Norman  blood. 

In  his  famous  Address  at  the  Washington  Centennial  Service,  held  in  St. 
Paul's  Chapel,  New  York,  April  30,  1889,  Bishop  Henry  C.  Potter  put  the 
same  thought  into  prose  : 

If  there  be  no  nobility  of  descent,  all  the  more  indispensable  is  it  that  there  should  be  no- 
bility of  ascent, — a  character  in  them  that  bear  rule  so  fine  and  high  and  pure  that  as  men 
come  within  the  circle  of  its  influence  they  involuntarily  pay  homage  to  that  which  is  the  one 
pre-eminent  distinction,  the  royalfy  of  virtue. 

Kingsley,  in  his  little  poem  "  A  Farewell,"  has  this  fine  stanza : 
Be  good,  sweet  maid,  and  let  who  will  be  clever : 
Do  noble  things,  not  dream  them  all  day  long. 
And  so  make  life,  death,  and  that  vast  forever 
One  grand  sweet  song. 
Chapman,  in  his  "  Revenge  for  Honor,"  Act  v.,  Sc.  2,  says, — 
They're  only  truly  great  who  are  truly  good  ; 
having  already  given  the  converse  of  the  proposition  in  his  "  Tragedy  of 
Charles,  Duke  of  Byron,"  Act  v.,  Sc.  i  : 

He  is  at  no  end  of  his  actions  blest 

Whose  end  will  make  him  greatest  and  not  best. 

Goose.  The  phrase  "  To  cook  one's  goose"  probably  owes  its  rise  to  a 
saying  of  King  Eric  of  Sweden,  which  is  thus  related  in  an  old  chronicle  :  "  The 
Kyng  of  Swedland  coming  to  a  towne  of  his  enemyes  with  very  little  com- 
pany, his  enemyes,  to  slyghte  his  forces,  did  hang  out  a  goose  for  him  to 
shoote,  but  perceiving  before  nyghte  that  these  fewe  soldiers  had  invaded  and 
sette  their  chiefe  houlds  on  fire,  they  demanded  of  him  what  his  intent  was, 
to  whom  he  replyed,  '  To  cook  your  goose  !'  " 

Goose.  To  goose,  or  To  give  the  goose,  in  theatrical  parlance,  to  hiss. 
This  practice  is  now  abolished  in  American  theatres,  but  it  still  flourishes  apace 
in  England,  where  the  audience  vents  its  outraged  feelings  against  a  play  or 
an  actor  by  sibilation. 

There  is  a  comic  side  to  every  tragedy.  Here  is  an  illustration  of  the  comedy  of  hissing. 
A  famous  low-comedian,  "  a  fellow  of  infinite  jest,"  recently  deceased,  while  acting  the  First 
Witch  in  "  Macbeth,"  found  himself  Bacchi  plemis ,  and  forgetful  of  his  part.  In  the  incanta- 
tion scene,  when  he  had  spoken  the  first  two  lines, — 

Round  about  the  caldron  go. 

In  the  poisoned  entrails  throw, — 
his  memory  failed  him.     After  an  agonizing  pause  he  resumed, — 

What  comes  next  I  cannot  guess. 

So  mix  the  lot  up  in  a  mess. 
The  audience  were  furious  at  this  ribald  tampering  with  the  text,  and  down  came  i^c  goose 
most  lustily. 

This  sound  of  fear, 

Unpleasing  to  the  actor's  ear, 
sobered  the  comedian  instantly.     Pulling  himself  together,  and  looking  up  at  the  gallery  with 
a  sly  wink,  he  proceeded, — 

Funky  actor  lost  the  word. 

Goose  from  gallery,  awful  bird  ; 

"Twist  his  neck  off  like  a  shot. 

And  boil  him  in  the  charmed  pOt. 
The  audacity  of  this  quick-witted  response  so  tickled  the  gods  that  they  not  only  condoned 
the  erring  comedian's  backslidings,  but  gave  him  a  hearty  round  of  applause  into  the  bar- 
gain.— Barrkre  and  Lelanu  :  Slang  Dictionary. 

Goose.    What  is  sauce  for  the  goose  is  sauce  for  the  gander. 

This  proverb  is  now  taken  to  mean  that  what  is  fair  for  one  is  fair  for  an- 


424  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

other,  that  every  Oliver  shall  have  a  Roland,  and  every  tat  a  tit.  Originally 
it  must  have  signified  that  what  is  good  for  one  sex  is  good  for  the  other. 
The  Saturday  Review  (January  ii,  1868)  humorously  protests  that  this  must 
have  been  the  invention  of  some  rustic  Mrs.  Poyser,  full  of  the  consciousness 
of  domestic  power,  and  anxious  to  reverse  in  daily  life  the  law  of  priority 
which  obtained — as  she  must  have  seen — even  in  her  own  poultry-yard.  To 
read  the  proverb  literally  is  the  only  method  of  escaping  from  the  philosoph- 
ical ditificulties  in  which  the  metaphor  involves  us.  "  No  doubt,  when  they 
are  dead,  goose  and  gander  are  alike,  even  in  the  way  they  are  dressed,  and 
there  is  no  superiority  on  the  part  of  either.  Death  makes  all  genders  epi- 
cene. Except  for  one  solitary  text  about  silence  in  heaven  for  a  half  an  hour, 
which  some  cynical  commentators  have  explained  as  indicating  a  temporary 
banishment  from  Paradise  of  one  of  the  sexes,  distinctions  of  this  sort  need 
not  be  supposed  to  continue  after  the  present  lite.  If  we  are  to  take  the  for- 
mer reading,  and  to  test  it  by  what  we  know  of  life,  nothing  can  be  more 
unfounded  or  more  calculated  to  give  a  wrong  impression  as  to  facts.  Were 
it  not  too  late,  the  proverb  ought  to  be  altered  ;  and  perhaps  it  is  not  abso- 
lutely hopeless  to  persuade  Mr.  Tupper  to  see  to  it.  '  What  is  good  for  the 
goose  is  bad  for  the  gander,'  or,  '  what  is  bad  for  the  goose  is  good  for  the 
gander,'  or,  perhaps,  '  what  is  a  sin  in  the  goose  is  only  the  gander's  way,' 
would  read  quite  as  well,  would  not  be  so  diametrically  at  variance  with  the 
ordinary  rules  of  social  life,  and  accordingly  would  be  infinitely  truer  and 
more  moral.  Even  Mr.  Mill,  who  is  the  advocate  of  female  emancipation  and 
female  suffrage,  never  has  gone  so  far  as  to  say  that  all  women,  as  well  as  all 
men,  are  brothers." 

Yet  it  is  apparent  from  the  following  extracts  that  very  early  in  the  biog- 
raphy of  the  proverb  it  had  lost  all  sexual  application  : 

But  it  is  .^s  I  may  say  so,  a  most  saucy  plot,  and  we  all  know,  most  reverend  fathers,  that 
what  is  sauce  for  a  goose  is  sauce  for  a  gander. — Otway  :   Venice  Preserved,  1682. 

"  What  is  Sauce  for  a  Goose  is  Sauce  for  a  Gander."  When  any  calamities  befell  the 
Roman  Empire,  the  Pagans  used  to  lay  it  to  the  charge  of  the  Christians  :  When  Christianity 
became  the  imperial  religion,  the  Christians  return'd  the  same  compliment  to  the  Pagans. — 
Tom  Bkown  :  New  Maxhiis  of  Conversatioti  :  Works,  iv.  123,  fourth  edition,  1719. 

Goose,  To  say  Bo  to  a,  a  proverbial  English  phrase,  of  high  antiquity, 
thus  explained  by  W.  W.  Skeat :  "  To  be  able  to  say  Bo  !  to  a  goose  is  to  be 
not  quite  destitute  of  courage,  to  have  an  inkling  of  spirit,  and  was  probably 
in  the  first  instance  used  of  children.  A  little  boy  who  comes  across  some 
geese  suddenly  will  find  himself  hissed  at  immediately,  and  a  great  demon- 
stration of  defiance  made  by  them,  but  if  he  can  pluck  up  heart  to  cry  'bo  !' 
loudly  and  advance  upon  them,  they  will  retire  defeated.  The  word  '  bo'  is 
clearly  selected  for  the  sake  of  the  explosiveness  of  its  first  letter  and  the 
openness  and  loudness  of  its  vowel.  It  is  curious  that  the  word  is  found  in 
Gaelic.  Thus,  the  Gaelic  bii  is  '  a  sound  to  excite  fear  in  children,  according  to 
Macleod  and  Dewar.'  "  (Notes  and  Queries,  fourth  series,  vi.  221.)  No  reliance 
is  to  be  placed  on  Johnson's  statement  [s.  v.  Bo)  that  the  word  Bo  is  from  an 
old  northern  captain  of  such  fame  that  his  name  was  used  to  terrify  the  enemy, 
though  it  is  now  used  as  a  word  to  scare  children.  An  apparently  analogous 
phrase,  "  to  say  bee  to  a  battledoor,"  or  "  to  know  bee  from  a  battledoor,"  is 
not  really  so,  but  means  rather  to  be  possessed  of  elementary  knowledge,  to 
have  learned  the  rudiments.  A  hornbook,  which  was  originally  a  flat  board 
with  a  handle,  was  called  a  battledoor,  from  its  shape,  and  the  saying  in  its 
original  sense  merely  meant  that  the  person  could  say  B  when  it  was  pointed 
out  on  a  battledoor.  Hence  the  distinction  between  the  two  phrases  was  that 
in  the  negative  one  assailed  the  courage,  the  other  the  learning,  of  the  party  in 
question. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  425 

Lord  Craven  was  very  desirous  to  see  Ben  Jonson,  which  being  told  to  Ben,  he  went  to 
my  lord's  house;  but  being  in  a  very  tattered  condition,  the  porter  refused  him  admittance, 
with  some  saucy  language,  which  the  other  did  not  fail  to  return.  My  lord,  happening  to 
come  out  while  they  were  wrangling,  asked  the  occasion  of  it.  Ben,  who  stood  in  need  of 
nobody  to  speak  for  him,  said,  "  He  understood  his  lordship  desired  to  see  him."  "  You, 
friend!"  said  my  lord;  "who  are  you?"  "Ben  Jonson,"  replied  the  other.  "  No,  no," 
quoth  his  lordship,  "  you  cannot  be  Ben  Jonson,  who  wrote  the  '  Silent  Woman  ;'  you  look 
as  if  you  could  not  say  bo  to  a  goose."  "Bo!"  cried  Ben.  "  Very  well,"  said  my  lord, 
who  was  better  pleased  at  the  joke  than  offended  at  the  affront,  "  I  am  now  convinced  you 
are  Ben  Jonson." — Ayvine's  Cyclopcedta  of  Anecdotes. 

I  have  heard  a  story  told  by  an  old  Ayrshire  gentleman  of  a  celebrated  idiot  who  dwelt  in 
Kilmarnock  in  days  gone  by,  and  who  was  celebrated  for  his  rhyming  powers,  which  enabled 
him  to  reply  in  verse  to  every  observation  made  to  him.  Lord  Kilmarnock  and  his  son  Lord 
Boyd,  when  riding  near  Kilmarnock,  one  day  happened  to  meet  the  poor  fellow  in  the  road, 
and  determined  to  make  trial  of  his  powers,  but  laid  their  plans  so  as  to  give  him  as  little  to 
take  hold  of  as  possible.  When  they  came  close  to  him,  they  leant  over  their  horses'  necks 
and  cried  boo!  loudly,  upon  which,  without  a  moment's  hesitation,  he  e.xclaimed, — 

There's  Lord  Kilmarnock  and  Lord  Boyd, 
Of  manners  baith  alike  are  void ; 
Just  like  bulls  amang  the  kye. 
They  boo  at  ilk  ane  that  gangs  by. 

Notes  and  Queries,  fourth  series,  vi.  314. 

The  latter  story  is  told  of  Robert  Burns,  but  with  no  authority  for  the  attri- 
bution. 

Gooseberry,  Playing,  a  slang  phrase  with  various  meanings.  It  usually 
is  written  "to  play  up"  or  "to  play  old  gooseberry"  with  any  one,  and  by 
one  authority  means  to  defeat  or  silence  a  person  in  a  quick  or  summary 
manner  ;  by  another,  "  to  play  the  deuce"  or  "  to  play  the  dickens"  with  an 
undertaking,  either  in  a  mischievous  spirit  or  from  incapacity.  Dr.  Brewer 
traces  it  to  the  origin  of  the  French /w//t', — "foule  de  pommes,"  "  foule  de 
groseilles."  "  He  took  great  liberties  with  my  property  and  greatly  abused 
it ;  in  fact,  made  gooseberry  fool  of  it,  which  is  a  corruption  of  gooseberry 
foul."  Hence  the  phrase  is  sometimes  used  with  the  meaning  of  espionage, 
since  the  person  spied  upon  usually  feels  that  he  has  been  made  a  fool  of. 

Government  of  the  people,  by  the  people,  and  for  the  people. 

This  phrase  occurs  in  Abraham  Lincoln's  address  at  the  dedication  of  the 
National  Soldiers'  Cemetery  at  Gettysburg  on  November  19,  1S63.  The  full 
text  of  the  sentence  is  as  follows  : 

We  here  highly  resolve  that  the  dead  shall  not  have  died  in  vain,  that  the  nation  shall,  under 
God,  have  a  new  birth  of  freedom,  and  that  the  government  of  the  people,  by  the  people,  and 
for  the  people  shall  not  perish  from  the  earth. 

The  phrase  was  not  original,  but  a  quotation,  conscious  or  unconscious, 
from  Theodore  Parker.  In  an  address  to  the  Anti-Slavery  Society,  May  13, 
1854  (printed  in  "  Additional  Speeches,"  vol.  ii.  p.  25),  the  great  Abolitionist 
spoke  of  democracy  as  "  a  government  of  all  the  people,  by  all  the  people, 
and  for  all  the  people."  A  lady  who  was  a  member  of  his  household  for  many 
years  says  that  this  phrase,  though  the  result  of  long  and  careful  hammering 
at  a  favorite  thought,  even  yet  failed  to  satisfy  him.  "  It  was  not,"  she  says, 
"quite  pointed  enough  for  the  weapon  he  needed  to  use  so  often  in  criticising 
the  national  action,  to  pierce  and  penetrate  the  mind  of  hearer  and  reader  with 
the  just  idea  of  democracy,  securing  it  there  by  much  iteration  ;  and  I  can  dis- 
tinctly recall  his  joyful  look  when  he  afterwards  read  it  to  me  in  his  library 
condensed  into  this  gem  :  'of  the  people,  by  the  people,  for  the  people.'" 

But  even  Parker  was  not  original.  As  early  as  1830,  Daniel  Webster  had 
used  these  words  in  a  public  speech  : 

The  people's  government,  made  for  the  people,  made  by  the  people,  and  answerable  to  the 
people. 

36* 


426  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

And  here  is  how  the  same  idea  was  handled  by  Chief- Justice  Marshall  as  far 
back  as  1819 : 

The  government  of  the  Union  ...  is,  emphatically  and  truly,  a  government  of  the  people. 
In  form  and  in  substance  it  emanates  from  them.  Its  powers  are  granted  by  them,  and  are  to 
be  exercised  directly  on  them  and  for  their  benefit. — McCullough  vs.  Maryland,  reported 
in  4  Wheaton,  316.)  * 

Governors,  The  t"wo.  "  As  the  Governor  of  North  Carolina  said  to  the 
Governor  of  South  Carolina,  it's  a  long  time  between  drinks," — a  favorite 
convivial  apothegm  in  America,  suggesting  that  it  is  time  for  some  one  "to 
set  'em  up  again  for  the  boys,"  or,  in  other  words,  to  order  a  fresh  round  of 
drinks.  An  historical  origin  has  been  found  for  the  phrase,  but,  unfortu- 
natel}',  with  no  apparent  historical  foundation.  The  story  runs  that  early  in 
the  century  a  native  North  Carolinian  who  had  moved  across  the  border  into 
South  Carolina  was  forced  to  fly  back  again  to  escape  arrest.  The  Governor 
of  South  Carolina  straightway  issued  a  requisition  on  the  Governor  of  North 
Carolina  for  the  fugitive  criminal.  But  the  latter  Governor  hesitated.  The 
criminal  had  many  and  influential  friends.  Finally  the  South  Carolina  exec- 
utive, with  a  large  retinue,  waited  on  his  official  brother  at  Raleigh,  the  capital 
of  North  Carolina.  The  visitors  were  received  with  all  due  honors.  A  ban- 
quet was  given  them  ;  wine  and  brandy  were  served.  When,  at  last,  the 
decanters  and  glasses  had  been  removed,  the  Governor  of  South  Carolina  rose 
to  state  his  errand.  A  long  and  acrimonious  debate  followed.  The  Gov- 
ernor of  South  Carolina  lost  his  temper.  Rising  once  more  to  his  feet,  he 
said,  "Sir,  you  have  refused  my  just  demand  and  ofi"ended  the  dignity  of  my 
office  and  my  State.  Unless  you  at  once  surrender  the  prisoner,  I  will  return 
to  my  capital,  call  out  the  militia  of  the  State,  and  take  the  fugitive  by  force 
of  arms.     Governor,  what  do  you  say  V 

All  eyes  were  turned  on  the' Governor  of  North  Carolina.  The  latter  rose 
slowly  to  his  feet,  and  beckoned  to  a  servant  who  stood  some  distance  away. 
His  beckoning  was  firm  and  dignified,  as  became  his  position.  He  was  slow 
about  answering,  and  again  the  Governor  of  South  Carolina  demanded, 
"  What  do  you  say  .''" 

"  I  say.  Governor,  that  it's  a  long  time  between  drinks." 

The  reply  restored  good  humor.  Decanters  and  glasses  were  brought  out 
again,  and,  while  the  visitors  remained,  if  any  one  attempted  to  refer  to  the 
diplomatic  object  of  the  visit  he  was  cut  short  by  the  remark  that  it  was  a 
long  time  between  drinks.  When  the  visiting  Governor  was  ready  to  return 
home  he  was  escorted  to  the  State  line  by  the  Governor  of  North  Carolina, 
and  they  parted  the  best  of  friends. 

The  fugitive  was  never  surrendered. 

Graces,  Sacrifice  to  the.  In  the  progress  of  a  speech  made  in  the  de- 
bate on  the  Reform  Bill,  a  member,  Mr.  Beresford  Hope,  took  occasion  to  dub 
Mr.  Disraeli  "the  Asian  Mystery,"  an  intended  slur  on  the  latter  for  his 
Oriental  or  Hebresv  extraction.  Hope  himself  was  of  foreign  blood,  the 
family  being  of  Dutch  origin  and  related  to  the  Amsterdam  family  of  that 
name.  Hence  the  sting  in  Disraeli's  retort  to  the  gentleman,  that,  "  when  he 
talks  about  an  Asian  mystery,  I  will  tell  him  there  are  Batavian  Graces  in  all 
he  says," — the  Dutch  or  Batavian  variety  of  the  goddesses  three  being  pos- 
sibly imagined  by  the  speaker  to  be  heavy  and  dull.  The  origin  of  the 
remark  to  "  sacrifice  to  the  Graces"  in  the  sense  of  polishing  the  style  or 
manners  may  be  traced  to  a  bit  of  jocular  advice  given  by  Plato  to  Xenoc- 
rates,  a  philosopher  noted  no  less  for  his  soundness  and  wholesomeness  than 
for  his  roughness  and  uncouth  vigor:  "Good  Xenocrates,  sacrifice  to  the 
Graces  !"    Voltaire  being  asked  his  opinion  of  "  Paradise  Lost"  replied  that 


•LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  427 

he  thought  Satan  the  most  powerfully  conceived  and  strongly  drawn  figure. 
"  The  ancients,"  he  went  on  to  say,  "  recommended  us  to  sacrifice  to  the 
Graces,  but  Milton  sacrificed  to  the  Devil." 

Chesterfield,  in  his  "  Letters  to  his  Son,"  commenting  on  the  latter's  un- 
graceful manners,  was  fond  of  quoting  the  advice  of  Plato  to  Xenocrates 
{Letter,  March  9, 1748),  and  gracefulness  was  almost  the  very  meat  he  lived 
on  ;  all  else  was  subordinated  to  it ;  which  made  Johnson  say  of  the  Letters 
that  "  they  teach  the  morals  of  a  harlot  and  the  manners  of  a  dancing- 
master."    (Boswell:  Z//"^,  1776.) 

But  the  unknown  lampooner  who  composed  the  following  hues  on  the  same 
letters  is  still  more  vigorous  and  ungracious  : 

Vile  Stanhope  !  demons  blush  to  tell. 

In  twice  two  hundred  places 
Has  shown  his  son  the  way  to  hell. 
Escorted  by  the  Graces. 

But  little  did  the  ungenerous  lad 

Concern  himself  about  them  ; 
For,  base,  degenerate,  meanly  bad. 

He  sneaked  to  hell  without  them. 

Nevertheless,  another  dictum  of  Johnson  is  probably  true,  that  "  every  man 
of  any  education  would  rather  be  called  a  rascal  than  accused  of  deficiency  in 
the  graces."  (Boswell  :  Life,  1776.) 

Gramercy.  The  word  Gramercy,  used  to  designate  the  locality  Gramercy 
Park  in  New  York  City,  is  derived  from  "  der  Kromme  See,"  which  is  the 
name  given  to  that  district  in  an  old  map,  still  extant.  The  word  became 
famous  in  American  politics  through  the  sobriquet  Gramercy  Sage,  or  Sage  of 
Gramercy  Park,  applied  by  his  admirers  to  Samuel  J.  Tilden,  who  lived  in 
that  neighborhood. 

Grand  Old  Man.  A  sobriquet  applied  to  Gladstone,  and  usually  credited 
to  John  Bright,  in  a  speech  at  Northampton,  1882.  Since  then  it  has  become 
exceedingly  popular,  being  used  derisively  by  his  opponents,  especially  in  the 
abbreviated  form,  G.  O.  M.,  and  respectfully,  though  familiarly,  by  his  friends. 
The  epithet  was  original  with  Mr.  Bright,  if  at  all,  only  in  its  special  applica- 
tion. It  was  a  favorite  form  of  commendation  with  Dean  Hook,  who  is  said 
to  have  applied  it  orally  to  Handel  in  a  speech  made  at  Leeds  in  1858  or 
thereabouts  {Notes  and  Queries,  seventh  series,  ix.  5),  as  he  certainly  applied 
it  in  print  to  Archbishop  Theodore.  See  Hook's  "  Lives  of  the  Archbishops 
of  Canterbury"  (i860),  i.  151.  r   ,       , 

Charlotte  Bronte,  under  date  of  June  12,  1850,  mentions  as  one  of  the  three 
chief  incidents  of  a  visit  to  London  "  a  sight  of  the  Duke  of  Wellington  at 
the  Chapel  Royal  (he  is  a  real  grand  old  man)."  Her  use  of  the  word  real 
might  seem  to  imply  that  the  term  had  already  been  applied  to  some  other 
notability.  Tennyson  has  the  same  collocation  of  adjectives  in  at  least  two 
places : 

And  thus  he  bore  without  abuse 

The  grand  old  name  of  gentleman. 

Defamed  by  every  charlatan. 
And  soiled  with  all  ignoble  use. 

In  Memoriam,  cxi. 

From  yon  blue  heaven  above  us  bent, 
The  grand  old  gardener  and  his  wife 
Smile  at  the  claims  of  long  descent. 

Lady  Clara  Vere  de  Vere. 

In  America  the  adjectives  were  laid  hands  on  by  the  Republicans,  who 
affectionately  denominated  themselves  the  Grand  Old  Party,  similarly  abbre- 


425  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

viated  into  G.  O.  P.,  and  treated  with  similar  levity  by  their  opponents,  who 
eventually  succeeded  in  laughing  it  out  of  active  existence. 

Grandmother.  Teach  your  grandmother  to  suck  eggs,  a  familiar 
English  proverb,  applied  to  the  aspiring  youth  who  utters  truisms  for  para- 
doxes, or,  more  vernacularly,  who,  in  trying  to  show  that  h§  knows  it  all,  deals 
in  grizzly  and  bewhiskered  chestnuts.  There  is  a  Greek  epigram,  attributed 
sometimes  to  Philippus  of  Thessalonica,  sometimes  to  Lucilius  (both  of  whom 
lived  in  the  early  days  of  the  Roman  Empire),  which  has  been  thus  translated 
by  Rev.  G.  C.  Swayne  : 

On  a  Stolen  Statue  of  Mercury. 

Hermes,  the  volatile,  Arcady's  president. 

Lacquey  of  deities,  robber  of  herds, 
In  this  gymnasium  constantly  resident. 

Light-fingered  Aulus  bore  off  with  these  words : 
Many  a  scholar,  by  travelling  faster 
On  learning's  high-road,  runs  away  with  his  master. 
The  last  line  of  the  original, — 

iroAAoi  /xa9t)Tai  /cpeiTTo;'es  Z\.ta.aKa.Xov, — 

seems  to  have  been  a  proverb  already  in  circulation.  It  is  quoted  by  Cicero, 
and  Ernesti  (Clavis  Ciceroniana)  calls  it  "senarius  notus."  It  is  the  obvious 
original  of  the  remarkable  sentence  in  Tom  Jones,  "  Polly  matete  crytown  is 
my  daskelon,"  which  sounds  like  the  rogues'  dialect,  but  which  Partridge  said 
his  master,  a  famous  Greek  scholar,  used  to  quote  and  translate  by  "  Teach 
your  grandmother  to  suck  eggs."  Analogous  expressions  may  be  found  in 
proverbial  literature  everywhere. 

Teach  an  eagle  to  fly,  a  dolphin  to  swim. — Latin. 

It  is  not  necessary  to  teach  fish  to  swim. — French. 

The  goslings  want  to  drive  the  geese  to  pasture. 

There  is  a  rhymed  version  of  the  proverb  which  is  sufficiently  amusing : 
Teach  not  a  parent's  mother  to  extract 

The  embryo  juices  of  an  egg  by  suction  : 
The  good  old  lady  can  the  feat  enact 

Quite  irrespective  of  your  kind  instruction. 

Grant  and  Whiskey.  There  is  a  popular  tradition  to  the  effect  that 
Lincoln,  when  informed  that  General  Grant  drank  too  much  whiskey,  retorted, 
"  Tell  me  what  brand  it  is,  and  I'll  send  a  barrel  to  each  of  the  other  generals." 
But,  in  truth,  these  words  were  a  mere  fabrication  :  they  were  put  into  Lin- 
coln's mouth  by  Miles  O'Reilly  (Charles  G.  Halpine)  in  a  burlesque  report  of 
an  imaginary  banquet  supposed  to  have  been  held  at  Delmonico's  in  the  year 
1862.  They  ran  through  the  press  as  Lincoln's  ipsissima  verba,  and  to  this 
day  it  is  hard  to  make  people  father  them  on  the  real  author.  The  sentiment 
was  anticipated  by  Bishop  Wilberforce.  At  a  railway-station  the  latter  met  a 
clergyman   who   was  taking  charge  of  a  very  difficult  rural  deanery.     "Mr. 

T ,"  cried  the  bishop,  in  loud  tones,  "  I  am  very  glad  to  have  an  opportunity 

of  speaking  to  you.  I  hear  great  things  of  your  zeal  and  success  as  rural 
dean."  "Well,  my  lord,"  was  the  reply,  "  I  believe  some  people  are  under 
the  impression  that  I  am  somewhat  mad."  "  All  I  can  say,  then,  is  I  wish  you 
would  bite  all  my  rural  deans."  Exactly  the  same  story  has  been  fathered  on 
George  II.,  who,  expressing  admiration  of  Wolfe,  was  informed  that  the  general 
was  mad.  "  Is  he  so  ?"  cried  his  majesty  ;  "  then  I  wish  he  would  bite  some 
of  my  other  generals."  And  again,  when  Mr.  Tazewell,  of  Virginia,  was  told 
that  John  Randolph  was  mad,  he  replied,  "  I  wish  he  would  bite  me  !" 

Grape.  A  little  more  grape,  Captain  Bragg!  an  historic  saying  attrib- 
uted to  General  Zachary  Taylor  at  the  battle  of  Buena  Vista,  February  23, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  439 

1847.  When  Santa  Anna  rallied  his  broken  columns  for  a  final  charge,  he 
precipitated  them  with  such  force  upon  the  American  regiments  occupying 
the  advance  that  they  yielded  and  fell  back  in  confusion  on  the  reserves. 
Taylor  hurried  to  the  critical  point,  ordered  the  artillery  to  face  about,  and 
gave  the  emphati^  order,  "  A  little  more  grape,  Captain  Bragg  !"  At  the 
third  volley  the  Mexicans  broke  and  fled.  The  phrase  did  excellent  service 
in  the  Presidential  campaign  which  sent  Taylor  to  the  White  House.  But  old 
army  officers  asserted  that  what  the  general  really  said  was,  "  Give  'em  hell, 
Captain  Bragg!"  A  correspondent  of  the  New  York  World,  in  April,  1880, 
corroborates  this  version  from  the  lips  of  the  captain  himself: 

In  1848,  being  a  student-at-law  in  Mobile,  Alabama,  I  was  at  a  b.ir  dinner  which  General 
(then  Captain)  Bragg  attended  as  a  guest.  In  the  course  of  the  evening  a  gentleman  sitting 
near  the  officer  remarked,  pleasantly,  while  filKng  the  latter's  glass  with  wine,  "  A  little  more 
grape,  Captain  Bragg !"  Bragg  smiled  and  bowed,  and  then  said,  "  It  may  surprise  you  to 
know  that  that  expression  was  never  used."  We  were  surprised,  for  all  the  papers  throughout 
the  country  were  proclaiming  it,  and  we  asked  an  explanation.  He  proceeded  to  relate  the 
incidents  of  the  battle.  "  At  this  moment,"  he  continued,  "  I  observed  that  the  enemy  were 
preparing  to  charge  the  battery  in  such  overwhelming  numbers  that  1  feared  it  would  be  cap- 
tured, and  so  ordered  it  withdrawn.  While  retreating,  I  saw  Lieutenant  Thomas,  who  com- 
manded a  section ,  suddenly  unlimber  his  two  guns  and  prepare  for  action.  On  my  asking  him  the 
purpose,  he  replied,  '  For  God's  sake,  captain,  get  the  battery  into  play  and  save  the  day.'  The 
advantage  of  the  position  struck  me  at  once,  and  we  rapidly  unlimbered.  By  this  time  the 
Mexicans  were  advancing,  and  we  opened  fire  at  very  short  range.  The  effect  of  the  dis- 
charge was  murderous,  and  the  enemy  fell  back  shattered  and  broken.  At  this  moment,  when 
the  report  had  hardly  died  away,  and  the  smoke  still  lingered  about  the  muzzles  of  the  guns. 
General  Taylor  came  galloping  down,  followed  by  his  staff.  He  wore  an  old  straw  hat,  very 
much  the  worse  for  wear.  This,  as  he  rushed  past,  he  pulled  off  and  swung  around  his 
head,  while  he  yelled  out  to  me,  'That's  right;  give  'em  hell.  Captain  Bragg!'  The  news- 
papers have  given  polish  to  the  expression,  but  at  the  expense  of  its  force." 

Grass.  "  While  the  grasse  groweth,  the  horse  starveth"  is  the  form  in 
which  a  familiar  saw  appears  in  Heywood's  "  Proverbs,"  Part  i.,  chap,  xi., — a 
saw  so  familiar  even  then  that  Shakespeare  makes  Hamlet  interrupt  himself 
in  citing  it : 

While  the  grass  grows 

The  proverb  is  something  musty. 

Hamlet,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  4. 

Southey  has  a  humorous  variation  on  the  same  theme  when  he  says  that 
poets  may  live  on  posthumous  fame,  but  not  on  posthumous  bread  and  cheese. 
Hierocles  preserves  the  memory  of  a  certain  scholastic  who  undertook  to 
teach  his  horse  how  to  live  without  eating,  but  complained  that  it  died  just  as 
it  was  beginning  to  learn  the  lesson.  Another  jest-monger  records  the 
similar  failure  of  an  experiment  to  teach  a  horse  to  eat  shavings  by  putting 
green  goggles  over  its  eyes. 

Grass  never  grows  again  where  my  horse  has  once  trodden.     A 

form  of  speech  expressive  of  utter  annihilation  and  irrecoverable  devastation 
of  a  conquered  territory.  Sometimes  used  figuratively,  as,  e.g.,  by  the  followers 
of  Victor  Hugo,  who  used  it  to  express  the  total  extinction  by  him  of  the  old 
classic  French  drama.  The  speech  is  ascribed  to  Attila,  the  king  of  the 
Huns,  or  the  "  Scourge  of  God,"  as  he  called  himself,  who,  with  his  hordes 
from  the  interior  of  Asia,  overran  Europe  in  the  middle  of  the  fifth  centiuy 
A.D.  It  has  always  been  applied  to  the  destructiveness  of  the  conquests  of  the 
unspeakable  Turk  :  "  Grass  never  grows  where  the  padisha's  horse  has  trod." 

Grass-'wrido'w.  This  term — in  England  now  usually  bestowed  on  an  un- 
married mother  or  a  discarded  mistress,  in  America  on  either  a  divorced  wife 
or  a  wife  separated  from  her  husband — is  sometimes  explained  as  a  corruption 
of  "grace-widow,"  that  is,  a  widow  by  grace  or  courtesy,  not  in  fact.  The 
explanation  is  plausible,  but  erroneous.     It  is  really  a  somewhat  coarse  meta- 


43°  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

phor,  taken  from  a  horse  turned  out  to  grass,  but  originally  bore  no  reproach 
with  it,  being  applied  to  any  woman  living  apart  from  her  husband  for  any 
reason,  good  or  bad.  The  wives  of  sea-captains  and  army  officers,  as  well  as 
divorced  women,  were  grass-widows.  In  this  sense  the  word  came  into  general 
use  in  this  country  at  the  time  of  the  California  gold-fever,  in  1849,  to  desig- 
nate the  adventurer's  wife,  left  at  home  for  an  indefinite  period  and  obliged  to 
shift  for  herself 

Gratitude  a  lively  sense  of  future  favors.  This  famous  definition 
owes  its  immediate  origin  to  Sir  Robert  Walpole,  who  is  credi-ted  with  the 
more  specific  saying,  "  The  gratitude  of  place-expectants  is  a  lively  sense  of 
future  favors,"  sometimes  also  quoted  "favors  to  come."  But  La  Rochefou- 
cauld, in  his  "Maxims"  (298),  had  already  said,  "The  gratitude  of  most  men 
is  but  a  secret  desire  of  receiving  greater  benefits."  An  anonymous  poet  of 
more  recent  date  has  written, — 

A  grateful  sense  of  favors  past, 

A  lively  hope  of  more  to  come. 

La  Rochefoucauld  paraphrased  his  own  saying  when  he  defined  repentance 
as  not  so  much  a  regret  for  the  evil  we  have  done,  as  a  fear  of  that  which 
may  result  to  us.  Benjamin  Franklin  notes,  "  He  that  has  once  done  you  a 
kindness  will  be  more  ready  to  do  you  another  than  he  whom  you  yourself 
have  obliged." 

Grave  to  Gay.  A  famous  couplet  in  Pope's  "  Essay  on  Man,"  Epistle 
iv.,  1.  379,  runs  as  follows : 

Formed  by  thy  converse  happily  to  steer 
From  grave  to  gay,  from  lively  to  severe. 

Pope  has  plagiarized  the  thought  from  Boileau  : 

Heureux  qui,  dans  ses  vers,  sait  d'une  voix  legere 
Passer  du  grave  au  doux,  du  plaisant  au  sevfere. 

L'Art  Poitique,  chant  ler. 
Nay,  he  has  done  more  than  this.     He  has  plagiarized  much  of  the  verbal 
structure  from  Dryden's  paraphrase  of  Boileau  : 

Happy  who  in  his  verse  can  gently  steer 
From  grave  to  light,  from  pleasant  to  severe. 

Art  of  Poetry,  Canto  i,  1.  73. 

Gray  mare  is  the  better  horse.  In  Macaulay's  "  History  of  England," 
vol.  i.  ch.  iii.,  occurs  this  foot-note  :  "  The  vulgar  proverb  that  the  gray  mare 
is  the  better  horse  originated,  I  suspect,  in  the  preference  generally  given  to 
the  gray  mares  of  Flanders  over  the  finest  coach-horses  of  England."  But, 
unfortunately,  the  saying  is  much  older  than  the  invention  of  coaches  or  the 
introduction  into  England  of  Flemish  mares.  It  occurs  in  the  "  Proverbs"  of 
John  Hey  wood  (1546)  : 

She  is  (quoth  he)  bent  to  force  you  perforce 
To  know  that  the  grey  mare  is  the  better  horse. 

It  will  be  seen  that  even  at  that  early  date  the  proverb  had  acquired  its 
modern  a])plication  to  a  henpecked  husband.  A  plausible  suggestion  has  been 
made  {Notes  aud  Queries,  sixth  series,  iv.  456)  that  the  proverb  arose  out  of  the 
fact  that  a  heathen  priest  of  the  Anglo-Saxons  was  forbidden  to  carry  arms  or 
to  ride  a  male  horse  (Bede  :  Hist.  EccL,  ii.  13).  Grimm's  "German  Mythol- 
ogy" ('•  91.  Stallybrass's  translation)  further  records  the  fact  that  early  Chris- 
tian clergymen  when  riding  about  the  country  were  not  allowed  to  ride  on 
horses,  but  only  on  asses  and  colts.  Obviously  this  was  done  in  memory  of 
Christ's  journey  into  Jerusalem.  But  is  it  not  entirely  possible  that,  even 
when  the  letter  of  the  regulation  was  still  regarded,  the  spirit  might  have 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  431 

been  violated  by  substituting  a  mare  for  a  horse,  especially  under  the  influ- 
ence of  the  old  Anglo-Saxon  custom  ?  Once  the  phrase  became  current, 
its  modern  application  would  gradually  result  as  a  matter  of  course. 

Great  engines  move  slowly.  Bacon  uses  the  phrase  in  the  following 
context : 

States  as  great  engines  move  slowly. — Advancetnent  of  Learning,  Book  ii. 

The  idea  of  slowness  of  motion  in  large  bodies  recurs  in  the  adage  trans- 
lated by  Longfellow : 

Though  the  mills  of  God  grind  slowly,  yet  they  grind  exceeding  small, 

Fk.  von  Logau  :  Sinngedichle :  Retribution; 
or,  as  George  Herbert  has  it, — 

God's  mills  grind  slow,  but  sure, 

Jacula  Prudentum  ; 
the  Greek  originals  for  which  are, — 

'Oi/ie  fleoO  /ituAot  dAeouci  to  ke.inov  aXevpov. 

Oracula  Sibylliufia,  lib.  viii.,  1.  14. 

'Oi/f6  fleoii'  aXiovai,  ixv\oi,  aAe'ou(Tt  6e  Xeirrd. 

Leutsch  and  Schneidewin  :    Corpus  Parosiniosraphorunt 
GrcECorum,  vol,  i.  p.  444 

Sextus  Empiricus  is  the  first  writer  who  has  presented  the  whole  of  the 
adage  cited  by  Plutarch  in  his  treatise  "  Concerning  such  whom  God  is  slow 
to  punish." 

Greatest  happiness  of  the  greatest  number,  a  phrase  made  mem- 
orable by  Jeremy  Bentham,  who  used  it  as  the  touchstone  of  all  right  legisla- 
tion and  the  true  object  of  virtue.  Bentham  acknowledges  that  the  phrase 
was  not  original.  "  Priestley,"  he  says,  "was  the  first  (unless  it  was  Beccaria) 
who  taught  my  lips  to  pronounce  this  sacred  truth, — that  the  greatest  happi- 
ness of  the  greatest  number  is  the  foundation  of  morals  and  legislation."  It 
must  have  been  Beccaria,  for  the  phrase  is  found  in  the  Introduction  to  his 
"Essay  on  Crimes  and  Punishments"  (1764),  and  does  not  occur  anywhere  in 
Priestley,  save  in  this  rudimentary  form  :  "  The  good  and  happiness  of  the 
members,  that  is,  the  majority  of  the  members,  of  any  state,  is  the  great 
standard  by  which  everything  relating  to  that  state  must  finally  be  deter- 
mined." But  it  had  been  used  by  a  still  earlier  writer :  "  The  moral  evil  or 
vice,"  says  Hutcheson  in  his  "  Inquiry  concerning  Moral  Good  and  Evil," 
Sect.  3  (1720),  "is  as  the  degree  of  misery  and  number  of  the  suiferers,  so 
that  that  action  is  best  which  produces  the  greatest  happiness  of  the  greatest 
number." 

Mr.  A.  Hayward  said  of  Carlyle  that  his  great  aim  and  philosophy  of  life 
was  "the  smallest  happiness  of  the  fewest  number;"  and  another  well-known 
witticism  is  put  by  Lord  Lytton  into  the  mouth  of  Kenelm  Chillingly:  "The 
greatest  happiness  of  the  greatest  number  is  best  secured  by  a  prudent  con- 
sideration for  Number  One." 

Greenback,  an  Americanism  for  paper  money,  first  applied  to  the  cur- 
rency issued  during  the  civil  war,  which,  like  the  present  bank-notes  of  the 
United  States,  had  a  green  back.  Colonel  Edmond  Dick  Taylor  (1802-1S91) 
has  the  credit  of  suggesting  the  plan,  at  a  time  when  the  government's  credit 
with  Europe  was  exhausted,  when  the  Treasury  was  empty,  and  the  soldiers 
were  clamoring  for  money.  Lincoln,  in  a  letter  to  Taylor,  published  after  the 
latter's  death  [Neiu  York  Trihtine,  December  6,  1S91),  gives  this  account  of 
the  origin  of  the  scheme  : 

My  dear  Colonel  Dick,— I  have  long  determined  to  make  public  the  origin  of  the 
grteuback,  and  tell  the  world  that  it  is  of  Dick  Taylor's  creation.     You  had  always  been 


432  IIANDY-BOOK  OF 

friendly  to  me,  and  when  troublous  times  fell  on  us,  and  my  shoulders,  though  broad  and 
willing,  were  weak,  and  myself  surrounded  by  such  circumstances  and  such  people  that  I 
knew  not  whom  to  trust,  then  said  I  in  my  extremity,  "  I  will  send  for  Colonel  Taylor;  he 
will  know  what  to  do."  I  think  it  was  in  January,  1S62,  on  or  about  the  i6th,  that  1  did  so. 
You  came,  and  I  said  to  you, — 

"  What  can  we  do?" 

Said  you,  "Why,  issue  Treasury  notes  bearing  no  interest,  printed  on  the  best  banking 
paper.     Issue  enough  to  pay  off  the  army  expenses,  and  declare  it  legal  tender." 

Chase  thought  it  a  hazardous  thing,  but  we  finally  accomplished  it,  and  gave  to  the  people 
of  this  republic  the  greatest  blessing  they  ever  had, — their  own  paper  to  pay  their  own  debts. 

It  is  due  to  you,  the  father  of  the  present  greenback,  that  the  people  should  know  it,  and 
I  take  great  pleasure  in  making  it  known.  How  many  times  have  I  laughed  at  you  telling 
me  plainly  that  I  was  too  lazy  to  be  anything  but  a  lawyer  ! 

Yours  truly, 

A.  Lincoln. 

Grin  like  a  Cheshire  cat,  a  proverbial  phrase  which  is  said  to  have 
originated  from  the  fact  that  Cheshire  cheeses  were  cold-moulded  into  the 
shape  of  a  cat,  bristles  being  inserted  to  represent  the  whiskers.  Charles 
Lamb's  ingenious  theory  that  Cheshire  was  a  county  palatine,  and  that  the 
cats,  when  they  think  of  it,  are  so  tickled  that  they  cannot  help  grinning,  is 
not  accepted  by  philologists. 

Grrog,  a  nautical  term  for  spirits-and-water,  now  generally  accepted  even  on 
shore.  Until  the  time  of  Admiral  Vernon,  the  British  sailors  had  their  allow- 
ance of  brandy  or  rum  served  out  to  them  unmixed  with  water.  This  plan 
was  found  to  be  attended  with  inconvenience  on  some  occasions  when  there 
was  a  shortage  in  the  brandy-locker.  The  admiral,  therefore,  ordered  that 
in  the  fleet  he  commanded  the  spirits  should  be  mixed  with  water  before  being 
passed  around  among  the  men.  This  innovation  at  first  gave  great  offence  to 
the  hardy  sailors,  who  had  been  used  to  taking  their  drinks  "  raw."  To  add  to 
his  unpopularity,  the  admiral,  who  was  conscious  of  the  immense  responsi- 
bility that  rested  upon  him,  became  morose  and  gloomy,  often  walking  the 
decks  for  hours  without  speaking  or  looking  either  to  the  right  or  to  the  left. 
In  these  taciturn  moods  he  always  wore  an  immense  grogram  coat  thrown 
loosely  over  his  shoulders.  This  resulted  in  the  sailors  nicknaming  him  "Old 
Grog,"  and  the  term  soon  came  to  be  applied  to  the  weak  mixture  stintingly 
given  out  to  the  men  who  had  formerly  looked  for  a  regular  allowance  of 
"pure  stuff."  " Grog"  became  quite  popular  after  a  time,  but  not  until  the 
great  original  had  gone  to  his  reward. 

Groundlings.  When  plays  were  performed  in  inn  yards,  or  in  the  early 
theatres  that  were  built  on  the  same  plan,  the  spaces  under  the  galleries  were 
occupied  by  persons  of  the  lower  class,  who  were  called  the  groundlings,  from 
their  standing  on  the  ground.  They  paid  a  penny  each  for  admission,  Ben 
Jonson  (The  Case  is  Altered)  has,  "Give  me  the  penny — give  me  the  penny  ! 
I  care  not  for  the  gentleman,  let  me  have  7^  good  ground.'"  Hence  the  allusion 
when  Hamlet  cautions  the  players  not  to  rant : 

Oh,  it  offends  me  to  the  soul  to  hear  a  robustious  periwig-pated  fellow  tear  a  passion  to 
tatters,  to  very  rags,  to  split  the  ears  of  the  groundlings,  who  for  the  most  part  are  capable  of 
nothing  but  inexplicable  dumb-shows  and  noise. — Haiitlct,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  2. 

Grundy.  "What  -will  Mrs.  Grundy  say?  The  words  are  from  the 
play  of  Thomas  Morton,  "  Speed  the  Plough,"  Act  i.,  Sc.  I.  One  of  the  char- 
acters. Dame  Ashfield,  frequently  mentions  a  person  who,  like  Sairey  Gamp's 
Mrs.  Arris,  is  never  seen, — one  "  Mrs.  Grundy,"  who  in  the  dame's  opinion 
would  seem  to  be  a  "  rural  oracle,"  for  she  often  refers  to  her  by  remarking, 
"What  will  Mrs.  Grundy  say?"  whence  the  phrase  slipped  into  common 
parlance. 

Mr.  Noah  M.  Ludlow,  of  St.  Louis,  an  old  American  actor  and  stage-man- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  433 

ager,  wliose  sphere  of  action  was  for  the  most  part  the  West  and  Southwestern 
States,  in  his  reminiscences  of  the  stage,  relates  an  incident  which  occurred 
at  Nashville  during  the  performance  of  the  comedy  "Speed  the  Plough,"  and 
which  is  curious,  even  though  we  cannot  agree  with  him  that  it  was  the  first 
time  that  the  name  of  "  Mrs.  Grundy"  was  applied  to  public  opinion.  It 
so  happened  that  there  was  a  family  of  that  name  living  in  Nashville  at  the 
time,  that  of  Judge  Felix  Grundy.  Mrs.  Grundy,  his  wife,  mingled  with  the 
best  society  of  that  city,  and  was  highly  respected  ;  but,  being  a  member  of 
some  church  and  averse  to  the  practice  of  visiting  theatres,  she  was  not 
present  on  the  occasion  :  so  whenever  the  name  was  mentioned  there  was  a 
general  titter  and  a  laugh  through  the  audience.  This,  to  the  actors,  was  in- 
comprehensible, until  a  friend  explained  the  matter.  Judge  Grundy,  after 
Martin  Van  Buren's  election  to  the  Presidency,  was  made  Attorney-General 
of  the  United  States. 

If  somebody  or  some  body  of  savants  would  write  the  history  of  the  harm  that  has  been 
done  in  the  world  by  people  who  believe  themselves  to  be  virtuous,  what  a  queer,  edifying 
book  it  would  be,  and  how  poor  oppressed  rogues  might  look  up  !  Who  bum  the  Protestants? 
— the  virtuous  Catholics,  to  be  sure.  Who  roast  the  Catholics  ? — the  virtuous  Reformers. 
Who  thinks  I  am  a  dangerous  character,  and  avoids  me  at  the  club  ?^the  virtuous  Squaretoes. 
Who  scorns?  who  persecutes?  who  doesn't  forgive? — the  virtuous  Mrs.  Grundy.  She  re- 
members her  neighbor's  peccadilloes  to  the  third  and  fourth  generation,  and,  if  she  finds  a 
certain  man  fallen  in  her  path,  gathers  up  her  affrighted  garments  with  a  shriek,  for  fear  the 
muddy,  bleeding  wretch  should  contaminate  her,  and  passes  on. — Thackeray  :  Adventures 
of  Philip. 

The  world's  an  ugly  world.     Offend 

Good  people,  how  they  wrangle  ! 
Their  manners  that  they  never  mend, — 

The  characters  they  mangle ! 
They  eat,  and  drink,  and  scheme,  and  plod, — 

They  go  to  church  on  Sunday ; 
And  many  are  afraid  of  God, — 
And  more  of  Mrs.  Grundy. 

Frederick  Locker  :  London  Lyrics, 

Guam,  Clearing  out  for.  In  the  height  of  the  Australian  gold-fever, 
ships  were  chartered  to  carry  passengers  to  Australia  without  having  return 
cargoes  secured  to  them.  They  were  therefore  obliged  to  leave  Melbourne 
in  ballast  and  sail  in  search  of  homeward  freights.  But  the  custom-house 
regulations  required  that  on  clearing  outwards  some  port  of  destination  should 
be  named,  and  it  became  the  habit  of  the  captains  to  name  Guam,  a  small 
island  in  the  group  of  the  Ladrones,  east  of  the  Philippines.  Hence  grew  a 
proverbial  expression,  used  mainly  by  sailors,  "  To  clear  out  for  Guam,"  i.e., 
to  be  bound  for  anywhere,  to  start  on  a  wild-goose  chase,  to  embark  in  an 
enterprise  without  counting  results. 

Guard  dies,  but  never  surrenders  ("La  garde  meurt  et  ne  se  rend 
pas").  These  famous  words,  persistently  attributed  to  General  Cambronne 
as  his  answer  when  the  remnant  of  the  Old  Guard  was  summoned  to  surren- 
der at  Waterloo,  were  as  persistently  denied  by  him.  He  strengthened  his 
denial  by  two  excellent  arguments  :  first,  he  did  not  die,  and  secondly,  he  did 
surrender.  Yet,  though  this  denial  was  repeated  at  a  public  banquet  held  at 
Nantes,  his  native  town,  in  1835,  the  mot  was  subsequently  engraved  upon 
the  monument  erected  to  him  by  his  fellow-townsmen.  So  late  as  1862  a 
grenadier  a  survivor  of  Waterloo  swore  before  the  prefect  of  the  Depart- 
ment of  Nord  that  he  had  heard  Cambronne  use  the  phrase  twice.  But 
General  Alava,  who  was  present  when  Cambronne  surrendered  his  sword  to 
Colonel  Halkett,  declared  that  he  did  not  open  his  mouth,  save  to  ask  for  a 
surgeon  to  bind  up  his  wounds.  Victor  Hugo  has  another  version  of  the 
affair  in  "  Les  Miserables,"  Cosette,  xiv., — a  version  that  is  borne  out  by  the 
T        cc  Z7 


434  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

following  anecdote.  When  pressed  by  a  pretty  woman  to  repeat  the  phrase 
he  really  did  use,  Cambronne  replied,  "  Ma  foi,  madame,  je  ne  sais  pas  au 
juste  ce  que  j'ai  dit  ^  I'officier  anglais  qui  me  criait  de  me  rendre,  mais  ce 
qui  est  certain  est  qu'il  comprenait  le  Fran9ais,  et  qu'il  m'a  repondu  mangey 
The  bombastic  fabrication  was  due  to  the  inventive  genius  of  Rougemont,  a 
prolific  author  of  mots,  who,  two  days  after  the  battle,  printed  it  in  Z'  Inde- 
pendaiit.  (He  may  have  had  in  mind  the  authentic  reply  of  Ney,  when  sum- 
moned to  surrender  before  a  line  of  Russian  batteries,  on  the  retreat  from 
Moscow  :  "  A  marshal  of  France  never  surrenders.")  After  it  was  repudiated 
by  Cambronne  the  sons  of  General  Michel  laid  formal  claim  to  it  for  their 
father.  In  America  a  similar  phrase  has  more  historic  verisimilitude.  Just 
before  the  battle  of  Buena  Vista,  February,  1847,  Mr.  Crittenden,  having  gone 
to  Santa  Anna's  head-quarters  under  a  flag  of  truce,  was  told  that  if  General 
Taylor  would  surrender  he  would  be  protected.  "  General  Taylor  never 
surrenders,"  was  the  reply. 

Guards.  Up,  Guards,  and  at  them!  Alison  and  other  historians  assert 
that  the  Duke  of  Wellington  used  these  words  at  a  critical  moment  of  the 
battle  of  Waterloo.  But  the  duke  himself  disclaimed  them  in  answer  to  an 
inquiry  from  J.  W.  Croker.  "  What  I  might  have  said,"  writes  Wellington, 
*'  and  possibly  did  say,  was,  '  Stand  up,  Guards  !'  and  then  gave  the  commanding 
officers  the  order  to  attack.  My  common  practice  in  a  defensive  position  was 
to  attack  the  enemy  at  the  very  moment  at  which  he  was  about  to  attack  our 
troops." 

Guess,  in  the  sense  of  "  think"  or  "  believe,"  as  in  the  phrase  "  I  guess 
the  mail  has  arrived,"  etc.,  is  generally  looked  upon  as  a  gross  Americanism. 
But,  like  most  so-called  Americanisms,  it  is  simply  the  survival  of  an  old 
English  use  of  the  word,  which  was  formerly  in  excellent  repute,  as  may 
appear  from  the  following  extracts  : 

She,  guessing  that  he  was  a  gardener. — jfohn  xx.  15,  Wkkliffe's  Trans. 
Guess  rightly  of  things  to  come. — Raleigh. 

This  woful  hande,  quod  she, 
Vs  strong  ynogh  in  swich  a  werke  to  me. 
For  love  shal  me  gave  strengthe  and  hardyknesse. 
To  make  my  wounde  large  ynogh  I  gesse. — Chaucer. 
Her  yellow  hair  was  braided  in  a  tress 
Behind  her  back,  a  yarde  long,  I  guess. — Ibid. 
Amylia  will  be  lov'd  as  I  mote  gheese. — Spenser. 

Richard  Grant  White  has  said,  "If  there  be  two  words  for  the  use  of 
which,  more  than  any  others,  our  English  cousins  twit  us,  they  are  '  well,'  as 
an  interrogative  exclamation,  and  guess.  Milton  uses  both,  as  Shakespeare 
also  frequently  does,  and  here  we  have  them  both  in  half  a  line.  Like  most 
of  those  words  and  phrases  which  it  pleases  John  Bull  to  call  'American- 
isms,' they  are  English  of  the  purest  and  best,  which  have  lived  here,  while 
they  have  died  out  in  the  mother  country : 

Stanley.  Richmond  is  on  the  seas. 

K.  Rich.  There  let  him  sink — and  be  the  seas  on  him. 

White-livered  runagate  : — what  doth  he  there  ? 
Stanley.  I  know  not,  mighty  sovereign,  but  by  guess. 
K.  Rich.  Well,  as  you  guess? 

Richard  III.,  Act  iv..  So.  4." 
Nobody,  I  guess,  will  think  it  too  much. — Lockb. 

Even  in  modern  England  we  hear  of  Carlyle,  speaking  of  Daniel  Webster, 
saying,  "  I  guess  I  should  ill  like  to  be  that  man's  nigger."  (Froude  :  Carlyle  in 
London,  vol.  i.  p.  141.)    But  this  may  have  been  an  imitation  of  Yankee  dialect. 


LITERAR  V  CURIOSITIES.  435 

Guillotine,  the  name  of  the  instrument  used  in  France  for  capital  punish- 
ments, so  called  after  Joseph  Ignace  Guillotin,  who  helped  to  introduce  it,  but 
who,  in  spite  of  a  widely  disseminated  popular  error,  neither  invented  it  nor 
suffered  by  it.  The  error,  indeed,  is  a  fine  example  of  the  way  in  which 
poetic  justice  reconstructs  history.  He  who  makes  the  guillotine  shall  perish 
by  the  guillotine.  That  sounds  very  pretty.  And  the  warning  becomes  more 
etificacious  when  it  is  asserted,  as  popular  history  does  assert,  that  Guillotin 
was  the  very  first  victim  to  perish  by  the  guillotine.  Unfortunately  for  the 
accuracy  of  the  pretty  saying  and  the  pretty  story,  the  guillotine  was  devised 
by  Dr.  Louis,  a  French  surgeon,  or,  rather,  adapted  by  him  from  instruments 
already  known,  and  the  original  model  was  constructed  after  his  directions 
by  one  Schmitt,  a  German  harpsichord-manufacturer.  The  idea  had  been 
borrowed  from  the  mattaja,  a  rougher  sort  of  guillotine,  which  had  been  used 
in  Italy  for  centuries.  On  March  25,  1792,  a  resolution  was  passed  by  the 
National  Assembly  recommending  the  immediate  introduction  of  the  machine 
in  question  in  all  prisons  throughout  the  country.  The  invention  was  at  first 
called  the  Louison,  after  its  real  inventor.  Dr.  Guillotin,  who  had  instituted 
a  crusade  against  the  rack,  the  wheel,  the  rope,  and  the  stake, — all  of  which 
had  only  recently  been  abolished,  and  several  of  which,  notably  the  wheel, 
were  still  in  use  in  the  southern  provinces, — constantly  spoke  with  such  en- 
thusiasm of  Dr.  Louis's  apparatus  that  the  people  ended  by  giving  his  name 
to  it  and  crediting  to  him  the  invention.  On  April  25,  1792,  the  guillotine 
was  publicly  used  for  the  first  time,  and  beheaded  a  bandit  named  Pelissier. 
During  the  Reign  of  Terror  this  identical  instrument  cut  off  the  heads  of  no 
less  than  eight  thousand  victims,  while  other  guillotines  in  other  towns  were 
also  kept  busy.  Sanson,  the  public  executioner  throughout  this  frightful 
period,  sold  the  original  guillotine  for  one  thousand  pounds  to  Curtius,  and 
he  in  turn  disposed  of  it  for  a  larger  sum  to  his  niece,  Madame  Tussaud. 
The  blade  which  decapitated  princes  and  nobles  is  still  to  be  seen  in  that 
amiable  lady's  Chamber  of  Horrors.  Meanwhile,  Dr.  Guillotin  energetically 
but  vainly  protested  against  the  use  of  his  name  in  connection  with  the  ndw  in- 
famous machine.  When  he  died,  in  1S14,  his  children,  imitating  Mohammed's 
action  in  regard  to  the  mountain,  obtained  permission  to  change  their  own 
name,  as  they  could  not  change  that  of  the  instrument. 


H. 

H,  the  eighth  letter  and  sixth  consonant  of  the  English  alphabet,  derived 
from  the  Phoenician  through  the  Greek  and  Latin,  though  in  the  Greek,  after 
a  series  of  changes,  it  was  finally  reduced  to  what  we  call  the  rough  breathing, 
now  usually  printed  '.  The  Latin  alphabet  received  it  much  as  it  appeared  in 
its  early  integrity  in  the  Greek,  its  value  being  kindred  to  that  of  our//,  though 
weaker.  As  the  vernacular  forms  which  finally  issued  in  Old  French  and 
Italian  discarded  the  Latin  h,  the  Middle  English  words  derived  mediately 
from  the  Latin  originally  dropped  the  h  also,  while  those  immediately  so 
derived  retained  the  h.  But  in  later  Old  French  and  Middle  English,  clerical 
pedantry  sought  to  restore  the  Old  Latin  spelling  wherever  known,  though 
without  the  restoration  of  the  pronunciation  in  any  case  in  French,  or  in  the 
case  of  the  oldest  and  most  familiar  words  in  English.  For  these  reasons 
the  pronunciation  and  even  the  orthography  of  words  whose  Latin  roots  com- 
menced with  h  have  been  exceedingly  wavering  and  uncertain,  and  though 
every  age  has  had  a  standard  of  usage  to  which  the  educated  few  have  adhered, 
the  many  have  been  entirely  at  the  mercy  of  their  individual  idiosyncrasies. 


43^  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Yet  the  co-ordinating  hand  of  time  has  been  at  work  even  here,  and  in  the 
dialect  of  the  London  cockney  a  rule  seems  to  have  finally  emerged  that  h  is 
dropped  wherever  it  should  be  pronounced,  and  inserted  wherever  it  is  super- 
fluous. Two  old  jests  will  illustrate  this  peculiarity:  first,  that  of  the  maid- 
servant who,  being  asked  whether  her  name  was  Anna  or  Hannah,  replied, 
"Anna,  ma'am :  Haitch,  Ha,  Hen,  Hen,  Ha,  Haitch,  'Anna ;"  and  that  of  the 
'Arry  who,  finding  himself  misunderstood,  explained  that  he  did  not  mean  the 
"'air  of  the  'ead,  but  the  hair  of  the  hatmosphere." 

Mr.  Skeat  has  an  ingenious  theory  to  offer,  viz.,  that  in  old  days  the  English 
h  being  strong  and  the  French  h  weak,  the  lower  classes  discovered  that  the 
letter  h  was  not  much  patronized  by  their  French-speaking  masters,  and,  as 
Jack  would  be  a  gentleman  "  if  he  could  s|ieak  French,"  they  attempted  to 
imitate  this  peculiarity  by  suppressing  the  h  where  they  were  accustomed  to 
sound  it ;  but,  nature  being  too  strong  for  them,  they  were  driven  to  preserve 
their  h  from  destruction  by  sounding  it  in  words  which  had  no  right  to  it,  and 
hence  the  confused  result. 

The  cockney  habit  has  been  a  fruitful  field  for  the  satirist,  as  in  this  quaint 
little  bit  of  anonymity  : 

The  Letter  H's  Protest  to  the  Cockneys. 

Whereas  by  you  I  have  been  driven 

From  'ouse,  from  'ome,  from  'ope,  from  'eaven. 

And  placed  by  your  most  learned  society 

In  Hexile,  Hanguish,  and  Hanxiety, 

Nay,  charged  without  one  just  pretence 

With  Harrogance  and  Himpudence, — 

I  here  demand  full  restitution. 

And  beg  you'll  mend  yoiu-  Hellocution. 

Mrs.  Crawford  is  said  to  have  written  one  line  of  her  "  Kathleen  Mavour- 
neen"  on  purpose  to  confound  the  cockney  warblers,  who  would  sing  it, — 
The  'cm  of  the  'unter  is  'eard  on  the  'ill. 

A  similar  difficulty  is  prepared  for  the  warblers  in  Moore's  "  Ballad 
Stanzas  :" 

If  there's  peace  to  be  found  in  the  world, 

A  'eart  that  was  'umble  might  'ope  for  it  'ere  I 

and  in 

Ha  helephant  heasily  heats  hat  his  hease 
Hunder  humbrageous  humbrella  trees  ! 

The  following  capital  parody  or  skit  upon  the  well-known  enigma  on  the 
letter  H  (see  Enigmas)  is  by  Horace  Mayhew,  and  first  appeared  in  1850: 

I  dwells  in  the  Hearth,  and  I  breathes  in  the  Hair; 

If  you  searches  the  Hocean  you'll  find  that  I'm  there. 

The  first  of  all  Hangels  in  Holympus  am  Hi, 

Yet  I'm  banished  from  'Eaven,  expelled  from  on  'igh. 

But,  though  on  this  Horb  I'm  destined  to  grovel, 

I'm  ne'er  seen  in  an  'Ouse,  in  an  'Ut,  nor  an  'Ovel. 

Not  an  'Orse  nor  an  'Unter  e'er  bears  me,  alas ! 

But  often  I'm  found  on  the  top  of  a  Hass. 

I  resides  in  a  Hattic,  and  loves  not  to  roam. 

And  yet  I'm  invariably  absent  from  'Ome. 

Though  'Ushed  in  the  'Urricane,  of  the  Hatmosphere  part, 

I  enters  no  'Ed,  I  creeps  into  no  'Art. 

Only  look,  and  you'll  see  in  the  Heye  Hi  appear ; 

Only  'Ark,  and  you'll  'Ear  me  just  breathe  in  the  Hear. 

Though  in  sex  not  an  'E,  I  am  (strange  paradox) 

Not  a  bit  of  an  'Effer,  but  partly  a  Hox. 

Of  Hetemity  I'm  the  beginning !  and,  mark. 

Though  I  goes  not  with  Noar,  I'm  first  in  the  Hark. 

I'm  never  in  'Ealth,  have  with  Fysic  no  power, 

I  dies  in  a  month,  but  comes  back  in  a  Hour. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  437 

The  Nation  (vol.  li.  p.  501)  notices  an  English  reviler  of  America  in  the  early 
part  of  this  century  who,  to  illustrate  the  depth  of  Yankee  vulgarity,  goes  so 
far  as  to  speak  of  "  the  ideous  Hamerican  abit  of  habusing  haitch."  But,  in 
very  truth,  the  dropping  and  the  misuse  of  the  aspirate  are  peculiar  to  England, 
and  Americans  have  never  been  guilty  of  either  offence. 

Habit  is  second  nature,  a  proverb  found  in  Montaigne, — "Essays," 
Book  iii.,  ch.  x., — and,  with  a  qualification,  in  Plutarch's  "  Preservation  of 
Health  :"  "Custom  is  almost  second  nature."  Shakespeare,  in  " Two  Gen- 
tlemen of  Verona,"  says, — 

How  use  doth  breed  a  habit  in  a  man  ! 

Act  v.,  Sc.  4; 
and  again, 

My  nature  is  subdued 
To  what  it  works  in,  like  the  dyer's  hand. 

Sonnet  CXI. 

The  latter  finds  a  very  close  parallel  in  Chapman  : 

Each  natural  agent  works  but  to  this  end, — 
To  render  that  it  works  on  like  itself. 

Bussy  D'Ambois,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  i. 

A  familiar  saw  says,  "  Habits  are  at  first  cobwebs,  then  cables," — a  figure 
thus  versified  by  Isaac  Williams  in  "The  Baptistery :" 

In  ways  and  thoughts  of  weakness  and  of  wrong. 
Threads  turn  to  cords,  and  cords  to  cables  strong. 

Image  i8.  Habits  Moulding  Chains. 
But  long  before,  Ovid  had  said, — 

III  habits  gather  by  unseen  degrees. 

As  brooks  make  rivers,  rivers  run  to  seas. 

Dryden  :   Ovid's  Metamorphoses,  Book  xv.,  I.  155, 

Analogues  could  be  quoted  almost  ad  libitum.  Here  are  some  of  the  most 
famous : 

The  tyrant  custom,  most  grave  senators. 
Hath  made  the  flinty  and  steel  couch  of  war 
My  thrice-driven  bed  of  down. 

Othello,  Act  i.,  Sc.  3. 
Assume  a  virtue,  if  you  have  it  not. 
That  monster,  custom,  who  all  sense  doth  eat. 
Of  habits  devil,  is  angel  yet  in  this. 

Hamlet,  Act  i.,  Sc.  4. 
My  very  chains  and  I  grew  friends. 
So  much  a  long  communion  tends 
To  make  us  what  we  are ;  even  I 
Regained  my  freedom  with  a  sigh. 

Byron  :  Prisoner  of  Chilian. 
There's  nothing  like  being  used  to  a  thing. 

Sheridan  :   The  Rivals,  Act  v.,  Sc.  i. 
'Tis  nothing  when  you  are  used  to  it. 

Swift  :  Polite  Conversation,  iii. 

Sydney  Smith  tells  a  story  of  a  gentleman  residing  in  Paris  who,  living 
very  unhappily  with  his  wife,  used,  for  twenty  years,  to  pass  his  evenings  at 
the  house  of  another  lady  whose  society  he  greatly  enjoyed.  His  wife  died, 
and  all  his  friends  urged  him  to  marry  the  lady  in  whose  society  he  had  been 
so  happy.  "  No,"  he  replied,  "  I  certainly  will  not ;  for  if  I  marry  her  I  shall 
not  know  where  to  spend  my  evenings." 

Haggis,  a  favorite  Scotch  dish,  made  of  the  heart,  lungs,  and  liver  of  a 
sheep,  mixed  with  suet,  onions,  oatmeal,  salt,  and  pepper,  all  boiled  together 
in  a  bag.    To  be  poetically  perfect,  the  bag  should  be  the  stomach  of  a  sheep. 

37* 


438  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  haggis,  as  every  one  knows  who  has  attended  a  Burns  or  Caledonian  dinner,  is  the 
national  dish  of  Scotland.  It  is  to  the  son  of  the  mountain  and  the  flood  what  pork  sub- 
merged in  beans  is  to  the  Bostonian,  or  pie  to  the  Puritans  of  New  England.  Being  a  dish 
of  Celtic  origin,  haggis  is,  of  course,  explosive  in  its  character.  Terrible  disaster  is  certain 
to  follow  the  handling  of  haggis  without  previous  training  or  acquaintance  with  its  conforma- 
tion. Haggises  have  been  known  to  explode,  even  at  convivial  feasts,  and  cover  the  assem- 
bled guests  with  hot,  desiccated  remains  of  various  kinds.  In  its  natural  state  it  is  not  so 
dangerous  as  the  Irish  explosive,  dynamite.  It  will  blow  a  man  up,  however,  unless  accom- 
panied by  a  mysterious  Highland  liquid  of  a  fiery  character,  called  a  "  dram,"  but  it  does 
not  necessarily  cause  the  victim's  entire  dismemberment  or  total  annihilation.  He  may  live 
through  it  if  dosed  at  intervals  with  the  restorative  to  which  we  have  referred. — Scottish 
American. 

Hair.    Beauty  draws  us  with  a  single  hair.     Pope  has  a  daring  and 
successful  image  in  his  "  Rape  of  the  Lock,"  canto  ii.,  1.  27 : 
Fair  tresses  man's  imperial  race  ensnare. 
And  beauty  draws  us  with  a  single  hair. 

Our  wonder  at  the  audacity  of  the  idea,  though  not  our  admiration  of  its  suc- 
cessful embodiment,  is  tempered  by  discovering  that  it  has  many  parallels,  e.g. : 

No  cord  nor  cable  can  so  forcibly  draw,  or  hold  so  fast,  as  love  can  do  with  a  twined 
thread. — Burton:  Anatomy  0/ Melancholy ,  Sect.  2,  Memb.  i,  Subsect.  2. 

She  knows  her  man,  and,  when  you  rant  and  swear, 
Can  draw  you  to  her  with  a  single  hair. 

Dryden  :  Persius,  Satire  v.,  1.  246. 

Those  curious  locks  so  aptly  twined. 
Whose  every  hair  a  soul  doth  bind. 

Carew  :   Think  not  'cause  men  flattering  say. 
'Tis  a  powerful  sex  :  they  were  too  strong  for  the  first,  the  strongest  and  wisest  man  that 
was ;  they  must  needs  be  strong,  when  one  hair  of  a  woman  can  draw  more  than  an  hundred 
pair  of  oxen. — Howel  :  Letters,  Book  ii.,  iv. 

And  from  that  luckless  hour  my  tyrant  fair 
Has  led  and  turned  me  by  a  single  hair. 

Bland:  Anthology,  p.  20  (ed.  1813). 

Hair-pin,  humorous  American  for  a  man,  used  only  in  the  phrase  "  That's 
the  sort  of  a  hair-pin  I  am."  Just  as  Shakespeare  makes  Falstaff  speak  of 
a  thin  man  as  a  forked  radish,  so  Americans  fancy  a  resemblance  between  a 
double-tined  hair-pin  and  the  human  figure.  The  phrase  first  became  popu- 
lar about  1880. 

Ay,  that  is  just  the  hair-pin 

I  am,  and  that's  my  line; 
And  here  is  twenty  dollars 

I've  brought  to  pay  my  fine. 
***** 
'Tis  glorious  when  heroes 

Go  in  to  right  their  wrongs  ; 
But  if  you're  only  hair-pins. 

Why,  then  beware  of  tongs. 

Carey  0/  Carson  :  Ballad. 

Halcyon  Days,  a  name  given  by  the  ancients  to  the  seven  days  pre- 
ceding and  the  seven  days  following  the  winter  solstice,  the  shortest  day  of  the 
year.  According  to  Pliny  and  others,  this  was  the  period  which  the  halcyons 
or  kingfishers  elected  for  incubation,  building  floating  nests  upon  the  water 
in  the  first  week  and  laying  their  eggs  in  the  second, — their  choice  being  dic- 
tated by  the  fact  that  this  period  was  generally  remarkable  for  its  calm  fair 
weather,  though  in  the  middle  of  December. 

Montaigne  accepts  this  fable  as  a  matter  of  experience  : 

That  which  seamen  by  experience  know,  and  particularly  in  the  Sicilian  Sea,  of  the  quality 
of  the  halcyon,  surpasses  all  human  thought.  Of  what  kind  of  animal  has  nature  even  so 
much  honored  the  birth  ?  The  poets,  indeed,  say  that  one  only  island,  Delos,  which  was 
before  a  floating  island,  was  fixed  for  the  service  of  Latona's  couchement ;    but  God  has 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  439 

ordered  that  the  whole  ocean  should  be  stayed,  made  stable,  and  smooth  ■without  waves, 
without  winds,  or  rain,  whilst  the  halcyon  produces  her  young,  so  that  by  her  privilege  we 
have  seven  days  and  seven  nights  in  the  very  heart  of  winter  wherein  we  may  sail  without 
danger. 

Dryden  thus  alludes  to  the  notion  : 

Amidst  our  arms  as  quiet  you  shall  be 

As  halcyons  brooding  on  a  winter's  sea. 

And  Keats,  in  "Endymion,"  has  the  beautiful  figure, — 

O  magic  Sleep  !   O  comfortable  bird  ! 
That  broodest  o'er  the  troubled  sea  of  the  mind 
Till  all  is  hushed  and  smooth. 
Greek  myth  relates  that  Alcyone,  or  Halcyone,  daughter  of  ^olus,  married 
Ceyx,   who  was  drowned  on   his   way  to  consult  the  oracle.     Alcyone,    ap- 
prised of  his  death  in  a  dream,  threw  herself  into  the  sea,  and  she  and  her 
husband  were  both  changed  into  kingfishers  by  the  gods,  who  further  decreed 
that  the  sea  should  forever  after  remain  still  while  these  birds  built  their 
nests  upon  it. 

More  than  this,  the  kingfisher  was  supposed  to  possess  many  virtues.  Its 
dried  body  would  avert  thunder-bolts,  and  if  kept  in  a  wardrobe  would  pre- 
serve from  moths  the  woollen  stuffs  laid  therein.  A  development  of  the 
ancient  fable  in  the  Roman  mythology  assigned  to  the  bird  the  power  of 
quelling  storms,  and  to  this  day  in  many  of  the  islands  of  the  Pacific  the 
natives  regard  it  with  religious  veneration,  while  Shakespeare  and  other 
writers  maUe  repeated  allusions  to  the  once  popular  notion  that  if  the  stuffed 
skin  of  a  halcyon  were  hung  up  by  a  thread  to  the  ceiling  of  a  chamber,  in 
swinging  it  would  point  with  its  bill  to  the  quarter  whence  the  wind  was 
blowing : 

How  stands  the  wind  ? 

Into  what  comer  peers  my  halcyon's  bill  ? 

Marlowe:   The T^^u  of  Malta. 
Or  as  a  halcyon  with  her  turning  breast 
Demonstrates  wind  from  wind,  and  east  from  west. 

Stover  :  Life  and  Death  of  Cardinal  IVolsey. 

In  popular  parlance,  the  term  halcyon  days  means  any  period  of  rest  and 
rejoicing.  Conkling's  famous  phrase,  "a  halcyon  and  vociferous  occasion," 
has  also  passed  into  the  currency  of  daily  speech. 

Half  is  more  than  the  -whole.  (N^mor  ov&e  laaaiv  oao)  ttMov  tjiilov  navroc. 
Hesiod:  IForJts  and  Days,  Book  v.,  ].  40.)  This  is  what  Hesiod  said  to  his 
brother  Perseus,  when  he  wished  to  settled  the  dispute  over  their  inheritance 
without  going  to  law.  He  meant  that  one-half,  taken  immediately,  was  better 
than  the  whole  would  be  after  deducting  the  expense  and  waste  implied  by  litiga- 
tion. The  remark,  however,  has  a  very  wide  signification  :  thus,  an  enibarras 
de  richesses  is  far  less  profitable  than  a  sufficiency  ;  a  large  estate  to  one  who 
cannot  manage  it  is  impoverishing  ;  a  man  will  be  poorer  if  with  increase  of 
wealth  his  increase  of  expenditure  is  larger  in  proportion. 

Unhappy  they  to  whom  God  has  not  revealed, 
By  a  strong  light  which  must  their  sense  control. 
That  half  a  great  estate's  more  than  the  whole. 

Cowley  :  Essays  in  Verse  and  Prose,  No.  iv. 

Half-Breeds.  A  nickname  originally  applied  derisively  to  certain  Repub- 
licans in  the  State  of  New  York,  by  the  partisans  of  Senator  Roscoe  Conk- 
ling.  In  the  bitter  contest  over  the  United  States  Senatorship  in  1881  to  fill 
the  vacancies  caused  by  the  resignation  of  the  two  New  York  Senators  from 
that  body,  and  when  Conkling  was  seeking  a  re-election  as  an  endorsement 
and  vindication,  the  waverers  were  called  "Half-Breeds,"  as  contradistin- 
guished from  "  Stalwarts"  {q,  v.). 


440  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Half-past  klssing-time,  a  rough-and-ready  repartee,  often  jocularly  made 
by  a  man  to  one  of  the  opposite  sex  when  asked  what  time  it  is.  It  may  have 
arisen  from,  aad  may  have  suggested,  the  song  of  which  the  following  is  a 
stanza : 

It's  half-past  kissing-time,  and  time  to  kiss  again. 

For  time  is  always  on  the  move,  and  ne'er  will  still  remain ; 

No  matter  what  the  hour  is,  you  may  rely  on  this  : 

It's  always  half-past  kissing-time,  and  always  time  to  kiss. 

G.  Anthony  :  Ballad. 

Half-seas-over,  a  nautical  euphemism  for  "drunk,"  "intoxicated,"  which 
has  been  generally  accepted  into  the  language.  An  attempted  explanation  of 
Wilberforce's  is  recorded  by  Green  in  his  "  Life  of  Wilberforce  :"  "  I  have 
often  heard  that  sailors  in  a  voyage  will  drink  '  friends  astern'  till  they  are 
half-way  over,  then  'friends  ahead.'"  The  inference  is  tiiat  by  the  time  the 
sailors  had  gone  half  the  distance  some  of  them  would  be  full.  But  sailors 
are  carefully  guarded  from  drunkenness  during  a  voyage. 

During  the  trial  of  a  case  of  collision  between  two  ships  at  sea,  a  sailor  testified  that  at  the 
time  specified  he  was  standing  "  abaft  the  binnacle."  Mansfield  asked  him  where  the  binna- 
cle was ;  at  which  the  witness,  who  had  been  taking  a  large  share  of  grog  before  coming  into 
court,  exclaimed,  loud  enough  to  be  heard  by  all  present,  "  A  pretty  fellow  to  be  a  judge,  who 
does  not  know  where  abaft  the  binnacle  is !"  Lord  Mansfield  replied,  without  threatening  to 
commit  him  for  contempt,  "  Well,  niy  friend,  fit  me  for  my  office  by  telling  me  where  abaft 
the  binnacle  is  :  you  have  already  shown  me  the  meaning  of  half-seas-over." — Campbell  : 
Life  of  Lord  Mansfield. 

Half-Way  Covenant.  A  name  familiarly  given  to  a  compromise  measure 
adopted  at  a  general  council  held  at  Boston  in  the  early  days  of  the  Congre- 
gational churches  in  New  England.  By  this  measure  the  earlier  rule  was 
relaxed  by  which,  in  addition  to  baptism  as  a  first  condition  of  membership, 
each  person  was  required,  on  coming  to  years  of  discretion,  to  give  proof  of 
repentance  from  sin  and  faith  in  Christ.  As  civil  rights  and  political  privileges 
were  in  a  large  measure  involved  in  membership,  the  stricter  rule  constituted 
a  substantial  grievance.  The  new  rule  admitted  all  baptized  persons  to  all 
privileges  of  membership  except  Holy  Communion,  provided  their  conduct 
of  life  was  not  openly  bad.  In  course  of  time,  and  in  consequence  of  the 
preaching  of  Whitefield,  the  "  Half- Way  Covenant"  was  practically  abandoned. 

Hall-mark.  The  official  stamp  formerly  affixed  to  gold  and  silver  articles 
by  the  Goldsmiths'  Company  in  England,  to  attest  their  purity.  "  Hall- 
marks" are  now  stamped  on  articles  manufactured  of  gold  or  silver  by  the 
assay  offices,  and  the  office  for  each  district  has  a  distinct  device.  Thus,  the 
hall-mark  for  London  is  a  leopard's  head  ;  Birmingham,  an  anchor  ;  Chester, 
three  wheat-sheaves  or  a  dagger  ;  Exeter,  a  castle  with  two  wings  ;  York,  five 
lions  and  a  cross  ;  Sheffield,  a  crown  ;  Newcastle-on-Tyne,  three  castles  ; 
Edinburgh,  a  thistle,  or  castle,  and  lion  ;  Glasgow,  a  tree  and  a  salmon  with 
a  ring  in  its  mouth  ;  Dublin,  a  harp,  or  the  figure  of  Hibernia,  etc.  Besides  these 
devices  showing  where  the  assay  was  made,  there  are  other  marks  indicating 
the  purity  of  the  metal.  For  this  purpose  gold  is  compared  with  a  given 
standard  of  pure  gold,  which  is  divided  into  twenty-four  parts,  called  carats. 
Thus,  "9/375"  signifies  that  nine  twenty-fourths  ot  the  weight  of  the  article 
are  pure  gold  ;  "  12/5"  is  twelve  carats  fine  ;  "  15/625"  is  fifteen  carats  fine  ;  a 
crown  and  the  figures  18  is  eighteen  carats  fine,  or  three-quarters  pure  gold  ; 
and  "crown  22"  is  standard  for  the  coin  of  the  realm,  and  of  this  quality 
wedding-rings  are  usually  made. 

For  marking  silver  the  process  is  different :  the  carat  is  not  the  standard 
for  it,  as  it  is  for  gold,  but  its  relative  purity  is  expressed  by  the  number  of 
grains  of  pure  silver  in  the  ounce  of  alloy.  Two  qualities  of  silver  are  marked 
at  the  assay  offices  :  the  one  contains  eleven  ounces  and  ten  pennyweights  of 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  44f 

pure  silver  to  the  pound  Troy  ;  this  is  the  quality  called  "sterling,"  generally 
used  by  silversmiths  ;  the  other  contains  eleven  ounces  and  two  pennyweights, 
which  is  the  "standard"  for  English  coin.  The  "standard"  mark  for  England 
is  a  "  lion  passant ;"  for  Edinburgh,  a  thistle  ;  for  Glasgow,  a  "  lion  rampant ;" 
and  for  Ireland,  a  crowned  harp. 

Besides  these  marks,  there  is  a  letter  called  the  date-mark.  Only  twenty 
letters  are  used,  beginning  with  a,  oniittingy,  and  ending  with  v.  A  different 
letter  is  used  for  each  year  ;  and  every  twenty  years,  when  the  number  is  ex- 
hausted, the  type  is  varied,  from  Roman  to  Gothic,  thence  to  Old  English, 
etc.  Each  office  has  its  special  form  of  date-letter.  Thus,  the  London  office 
from  1837  to  1S56  employed  Old  English  capitals;  from  1857  to  1876,  Old 
English  small  letters ;  from  1876,  still  in  use,  Roman  capitals.  So  by  re- 
ferring to  a  table  the  exact  year  of  the  mark  can  be  discovered.  Lastly,  the 
head  of  the  reigning  sovereign  completes  the  marks. 

From  the  absolute  reliability  of  these  marks  the  expression  in  current 
phrase  "to  bear  the  hall-mark"  has  come  to  mean  genuine,  above  suspicion, 
and  is  applied  either  to  men  or  to  things. 

Hammer  of  Heretics.  A  sobriquet  for  Pierre  d'Ailly,  a  noted  French 
cardinal  and  polemical  writer  (1350-1425).  He  was  president  of  the  Council 
of  Constance,  at  which  John  FIuss  was  condemned. 

The  same  name  was  applied  to  John  Faber  (died  1541),  a  native  of  Suabia 
and  a  Roman  Catholic  divine  of  celebrity.  One  of  his  works  bears  this  title, 
whence  the  appellation. 

Hampton  Roads  Conference.  A  meeting  on  board  a  vessel  in  Hamp- 
ton Roads,  February  3,  1865,  brought  about  by  Frank  P.  Blair  with  the  object 
of  effecting  a  cessation  of  hostilities  between  the  North  and  South,  and  with 
a  view  towards  joint  action  to  enforce  the  Monroe  doctrine  against  the  French 
in  Mexico.  The  conferees  on  the  part  of  the  North  were  Lincoln  and  Seward  ; 
on  the  part  of  the  South,  Stephens,  Campbell,  and  Hunter.  The  meeting  was 
without  result. 

Hand.  The  American  expressions  "  to  show  one's  hand,"  to  "  play  one's 
hand  for  all  it  is  worth,"  are  poker  terms,  the  hand  being  the  five  cards  dealt 
out  to  each  player.  Used  proverbially,  the  first  expression  means  to  give 
one's  self  away,  to  let  the  cat  out  of  the  bag,  to  be  frank  and  open  ;  the  latter, 
to  make  the  most  of  one's  opportunities,  generally  used  in  a  bad  sense,  and 
applied  to  a  thoroughly  unscrupulous  person. 

One  of  the  advantages  of  the  negative  part  assigned  to  women  in  life  is  that  they  are  seldom 
forced  to  commit  themselves.  They  can,  if  they  choose,  remain  perfectly  passive  while  a 
great  many  things  take  place  in  regard  to  them  ;  they  need  not  account  for  what  they  do  not 
do.  From  time  to  time  a  man  must  show  his  hand,  but,  save  for  one  supreme  exigency,  a 
woman  need  never  show  hers.  She  moves  in  mystery  as  long  as  she  likes,  and  mere  reticence 
in  her,  if  she  is  young  and  fair,  interprets  itself  as  good  sense  and  good  taste.— W.  D.  Howells  : 
The  Lady  0/  the  A  roostook. 

Hands.  The  use  of  this  term  in  the  sense  of  artisans  has  its  justification 
in  the  figure  of  rhetoric  known  as  metonymy,  which  allows  the  most  signifi- 
cant part  to  be  put  for  the  whole.  In  the  case  of  a  laboring-man  the  hand, 
of  course,  performs  the  work,  and  is,  therefore,  the  most  important  member. 
Hypercriticism  might  urge  that  when  we  say  Mr.  X  employs  one  hundred 
hands,  meaning  one  hundred  workmen,  he  really  employs  double  that  number, 
as  one  hundred  workmen  would  have  two  hundred  hands.  But  popular  usage 
laughs  at  hypercriticism.  Similarly,  when  we  speak  of  "  sails"  no  one  pretends 
to  reckon  more  than  one  sail  to  each  vessel.  None  the  less,  a  nice  sense  of 
linguistic  congruity  recognizes  that  hands  is  one  of  those  words  which  must 
not  come  into  contact  or  close  relationship  with  other  words  which  may  sug- 


442  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

gest  a  ludicrous  confusion  of  metaphor  and  fact.  Sir  Thomas  Fitzosborne 
furnishes  an  instance  of  what  should  be  avoided  in  his  Letters  (eighth  edition, 
1776,  p.  115):  "An  honest  sailor  of  my  acquaintance,  a  captain  of  a  priva- 
teer, wrote  an  account  to  his  owners  of  an  engagement  in  which  he  had  the 
good  fortune,  he  told  them,  of  having  only  one  of  his  hands  shot  through  the 
nose." 

Handsome  Englishman.  John  Churchill,  afterwards  the  Duke  of  Marl- 
borough, was  noted  no  less  for  his  soldierly  ability  and  statesmanship  than 
for  his  handsome  person  and  the  charms  of  graceful  and  captivating  manners. 
The  French  troops  under  Turenne  called  him  le  bcl  Anglais  ("  the  handsome 
Englishman").  Napoleon  said  of  Marlborough  that  his  was  about  the  greatest 
military  genius  the  world  has  produced. 

Handsome  is  that  handsome  does,  an  English  proverb,  the  comple- 
ment and  antithesis  of  "All  is  not  gold  that  glitters,"  for  it  might  be  para- 
phrased "Gold  may  be  gold  though  it  does  not  glitter."  In  the  form  given 
in  the  heading  it  appears  in  the  first  chapter  of  Goldsmith's  "  Vicar  of  Wake- 
field," and  may  be  verbally  original,  though  the  thought  had  long  before  been 
expressed  by  Chaucer  : 

That  he  is  gentil  that  doth  gentil  dedis. 

The  Wije  0/ Baths  Tale,  1.  6752. 
Spenser  imitates  Chaucer : 

The  gentle  minde  by  gentle  deeds  is  knowne ; 
For  a  man  by  nothing  is  so  well  bewrayed 
As  by  his  manners. 

Faerie  Queene,  Book  vi.,  Canto  iii.,  St.  i. 

Analogues  more  or  less  remote  may  be  found  in  the  following  : 
Charms  strike  the  sight,  but  merit  wins  the  soul. 

Pope  :  Rape  0/ the  Lock,  Canto  v.,  I.  34. 
A  fair  exterior  is  a  silent  recommendation. 

PuELius  Syrus  :  Maxim  207. 

And  many  poets  have  insisted  that  appearances  in  this  case  are  not  deceit- 
ful, for  he  that  is  handsome  must  handsome  do. 

There's  nothing  ill  can  dwell  in  such  a  temple  : 
If  the  ill  spirit  have  so  fair  a  house. 
Good  things  will  strive  to  dwell  with  't. 

Shakespeare  :  The  Tempest,  Act  i.,  Sc.  2. 

For  of  the  soule  the  bodie  forme  doth  take  ; 
For  soule  is  forme,  and  doth  the  bodie  make. 


For  all  that  faire  is,  is  by  nature  good  ; 
That  is  a  signe  to  know  the  gentle  blood. 

Spenser  :  A  n  Hymne  in  Honour  of  Beautie. 

Hand'W^riting  and  "Writers.  "  What  do  you  think  of  my  becoming  an 
author  and  relying  for  support  upon  my  pen  ?"  says  Nathaniel  Hawthorne, 
in  a  letter  written  when  he  was  a  student  in  Bowdoin  College.  "Indeed,  I 
think  the  illegibility  of  my  handwriting  is  very  author-like."  "That  illegibility 
he  retained  all  his  life,  and  after  his  death  several  of  his  manuscripts  remained 
long  unpublished,  because  no  one  was  able  to  decipher  their  intricacies. 

But  there  maybe  some  question  as  to  his  adjective  of  "  author-like."  Many 
writers  have  been  even  worse  scribes  than  Hawthorne  himself,  but,  on  the 
other  hand,  there  are  many  whose  penmanship  is  remarkable  for  neatness  and 
beauty.  Among  living  authors,  Howells,  Holmes,  Bret  Harte,  Andrew  Lang, 
William  Norris,  Frederick  Locker,  and  George  Macdonald  write  hands  that 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  443 

are  plain  and  legible  and  often  beautiful,  without  any  strongly  distinctive 
characteristics.  Among  the  authors  of  the  past,  Gray,  Moore,  Leigh  Hunt, 
Walter  Scott,  and  Buchanan  Read  possessed  a  pleasing  running  hand  which 
also  failed  to  express  any  decided  individuality.  Longfellow's  handwriting 
was  a  bold,  frank  back-hand.  Bryant's  was  aggressive  and  pleasing  to  the  eye, 
but  had  no  poetical  characteristics  ;  and  Keats's  was  rather  too  clerical  for  the 
most  dainty  of  modern  poets. 

Thackeray's  penmanship  was  marvellously  neat,  but  so  small  that  it  could 
not  always  be  read  with  comfort  by  any  but  microscoj^ic  eyes.  He  is  reported 
to  have  said  that  if  all  other  methods  of  livelihood  were  to  fail  him  he  would 
undertake  to  write  the  Lord's  Prayer  on  his  thumb-nail.  Charles  Dickens's 
writing  was  much  less  beautiful,  but  almost  equally  minute,  and  his  habit  of 
writing  with  blue  ink  upon  blue  paper,  with  frequent  interlineations  and  cross- 
lines,  made  his  copy  a  burden  alike  to  compositor  and  proof-reader.  Douglas 
Jerrold  was  an  offender  of  the  same  sort.  He  jotted  down  his  jokes  upon  little 
slips  of  blue  paper  in  letters  smaller  than  the  type  in  which  they  were  pres- 
ently to  be  set.  Captain  Marryat's  handwriting  was  so  fine  that  whenever  the 
copyist  rested  from  his  labors  he  was  obliged  to  stick  a  pin  where  he  left  off, 
in  order  to  find  the  place  again.  Charlotte  Bronte's  handwriting  appeared  to 
have  been  traced  with  a  needle.  Other  experts  in  microscopic  penmanship 
are  the  English  novelists  R.  D.  Blackmore  and  William  Black,  who  write  tiny 
characters  that  are  almost  undecipherable  at  first  sight,  and  the  Americans 
George  Cable  and  Julian  Hawthorne.  The  latter  forms  his  letters  with  care 
and  precision,  but  they  are  almost  infinitesimal  in  size. 

Nothing  is  more  noticeable  than  the  difference  between  the  hands  of  those 
who  seem  satisfied  with  their  words,  who  seem  to  find  pleasure  in  the  rapidity 
with  which  they  express  their  thoughts,  and  the  hands  of  those  who  are  dis- 
satisfied with  their  words  and  are  disposed  to  torture  language  until  it  expresses 
something  more  or  something  less.  Mathematicians,  as  a  rule,  write  untidy, 
scrambling  hands,  because  their  thought  so  constantly  distances  their  powers 
of  expression  in  words  or  symbols  that  they  grow  careless  in  their  attempt  to 
keep  pace  with  it.  Lawyers,  on  the  other  hand,  usually  write  a  precise  and 
orderly  hand,  because  they  are  fond  of  verbiage  and  are  accustomed  to  em- 
ploy more  words  than  are  necessary  to  express  their  thought.  Fluent  writers 
like  Anthony  Trollope  or  Professor  Tyndall  write  an  easy  running  hand,  but 
poets  like  Swinburne,  Tennyson,  or  Browning  seem  to  throw  over  the  words 
they  write  shadows  of  dissatisfaction  that  they  express  something  more  or 
something  less,  or  at  all  events  something  different,  as  though  words  were  a 
wrong  to  their  soul  and  a  sort  of  parody  on  the  true  expressiveness  of  sound. 
Carlyle  reconstructs  with  pen  and  gall  what  his  mind  and  eyes  have  seen,  and 
in  his  patient  but  crabbed  and  oddly-emphasized  handwriting  much  of  his 
temperament  may  be  read.  "  Eccentric  and  spiteful  little  flourishes,"  says 
one  of  his  friends,  "  dart  about  his  manuscript  in  various  odd  ways,  sometimes 
evidently  intended  as  a  cross  to  a  t,  but  constantly  recoiling  in  an  absurd 
fashion,  as  if  attempting  a  calligraphical  summersault,  and  destroying  the 
entire  word  from  which  they  sprung.  Some  letters  slope  in  one  way  and 
some  another,  some  are  halt,  maimed,  and  crippled,  and  all  are  blind."  Car- 
lyle was  himself  highly  amused  at  a  story  told  by  his  London  publishers.  A 
Scotch  compositor  had  just  been  added  to  the  force  of  their  printers  on  the 
strength  of  a  recommendation  from  the  Edinburgh  Review.  His  first  "  take" 
was  some  of  Carlyle's  manuscript.  "What!  have  you  got  that  man  here.-"' 
he  fairly  roared.  "  I  fled  from  Scotland  to  get  away  from  him  !"  Balzac's 
copy  was  even  worse  ;  few  printers  could  read  it,  and  those  who  could  made 
an  express  stipulation  with  their  employer  to  work  at  it  only  one  hour  at  a 
time.     Even  after  the  hieroglyphics  had  been  translated  into  print,  the  proof- 


444  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

sheets  came  back  more  illegible  than  the  original  copy.  A  French  writer 
describes  them  as  sending  out  from  each  printed  word  a  dash  of  ink  like  a 
rocket,  finally  breaking  into  a  fiery  ring  of  phrases,  epithets,  and  nouns. 
These  were  interlined,  crossed,  written  upside  down,  mixed,  interlaced,  and 
knotted,  forming  a  word-puzzle  which  made  even  the  stoutest  compositor 
quail. 

The  manuscript  of  Victor  Hugo<  we  are  told,  presented  almost  as  singular 
an  appearance,  being  "  a  sort  of  battle-field  on  paper,  in  which  the  killed  words 
were  well  stami^ed  out  and  the  new  recruits  pushed  forward  in  anything  but 
good  order."  Hugo's  manuscript  has  also  been  compared  to  a  sheet  of  music 
in  which  numerous  blots  took  the  place  of  crotchets  and  quavers. 

Byron  was  nearly  as  bad.  His  handwriting  was  a  mere  scrawl,  and  his 
additions  in  the  proof  were  generally  greater  than  the  original  text.  To  one 
poem,  which  contained  only  four  hundred  lines  in  the  first  draught,  one  thou- 
sand were  added  in  proofs.  Dean  Stanley,  a  short  time  before  his  death,  was 
invited  by  a  New  York  magazine  to  contribute  an  article  on  some  timely  topic. 
A  paper  was  promptly  written  and  duly  received,  but  the  editor,  to  his  great 
consternation,  could  not  read  it  himself,  and  found  it  undecipherable  by  the 
most  expert  printers.  Finally  the  editor  was  obliged  to  return  the  manu- 
script to  England  to  be  re-written,  and  then  the  timeliness  of  the  subject 
had  evaporated. 

Sometimes,  however,  even  the  writer  himself  cannot  read  what  he  has 
written.  We  are  told  of  Jules  Janin,  for  instance,  that  when  a  reckless  com- 
positor came  to  him  and  besought  him  to  decipher  some  pages  of  his  own 
manuscript,  the  great  man  replied  that  he  would  rather  re-write  than  attempt 
to  read  over  again  what  he  had  once  written. 

Lord  Eldon  told  George  IV.  that  the  greatest  lawyer  in  England  could 
neither  walk,  speak,  nor  write.  This  legal  luminary  was  Mr.  Bell,  a  cripple, 
who  had  great  difficulty  in  putting  his  ideas  into  s])eech,  and  had  succeeded  iu 
hitting  upon  three  different  methods,  all  equally  original,  of  putting  them  upon 
paper, — one  being  intelligible  to  himself,  but  worse  than  Greek  to  his  clerk; 
another,  which  his  clerk  could,  but  he  himself  could  not,  decipher;  and  a 
third,  which  neither  he,  his  clerk,  nor  any  one  else  could  comprehend. 

"  I  must  decline  reading  my  own  handwriting  twenty-four  hours  after  I  have 
written  it,"  said  Sydney  Smith  ;  adding,  "  my  writing  is  as  if  a  swarm  of  ants, 
escaping  from  an  ink-bottle,  had  walked  over  a  sheet  of  paper  without  wiping 
their  legs."  But  he  insisted  that  Jeffrey's  was  quite  as  bad,  and  once  wrote 
to  tell  the  arch-reviewer  that  he  had  tried  to  read  his  letter  from  left  to  right, 
and  Mrs.  Sydney  from  right  to  left,  but  neither  of  them  could  decipher  a  single 
word. 

Montaigne,  a  man  of  quality,  and  a  man  of  wit,  too,  owns  to  writing  so 
clumsily  as  not  to  be  able  to  read  what  he  had  written.  This  apparently  arose 
as  much  from  carelessness  as  from  incompetence.  In  his  impatience,  he  sacri- 
ficed plainness  for  the  sake  of  speed.  He  says,  "I  always  write  my  letters 
post,  and  so  precipitately  that,  though  I  write  an  intolerable  ill  hand,  I  rather 
choose  to  do  it  myself,  than  to  employ  another,  for  I  can  find  none  able  to 
follow  me,  and  never  transcribe  any,  but  have  accustomed  the  great  ones  that 
know  me  to  endure  my  blots  and  dashes  upon  paper  without  fold  or  margin." 
Oddly  enough,  when  Montaigne  did  employ  an  amanuensis  he  chose  as  bad 
a  writer  as  himself,  and  made  matters  rather  worse  than  better.  Long  after 
his  death,  the  manuscript  of  his  Italian  journal  was  discovered  in  a  worm- 
eaten  coffer  in  the  old  chateau  ;  but  one-third  of  the  journal  was  found  to  be 
in  the  handwriting  of  the  servant  who  acted  as  his  secretary,  and  that  portion 
was  almost  unintelligible,  thanks  to  bad  writing  and  spelling  to  match. 

Las  Cases  says  of  Napoleon,  "  He  left  a  great  deal  for  the  copyists  to  do ; 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  445 

he  was  their  torment ;  his  handwriting  actually  resembled  hieroglyphics,  and 
he  often  could  not  decipher  it  himself.  My  son  was  one  day  reading  to  him  a 
chapter  of  the  '  Campaign  of  Italy  :'  on  a  sudden  he  stopped  short,  unable  to 
make  out  the  writing.  'The  little  blockhead,'  said  the  Emperor,  'cannot  read 
his  own  handwriting.'  '  It  is  not  mine,  Sire.'  '  And  whose,  then  V  '  Your 
majesty's.'  '  How  so,  you  little  rogue  ?  do  you  mean  to  insult  me  ?'  The 
Emperor  took  the  manuscript,  tried  a  long  while  to  read  it,  and  at  last  threw 
it  down,  saying,  '  He  is  right.     I  cannot  tell  myself  what  is  written.'" 

It  is  said  that  Napoleon's  letters  from  Germany  to  Josephine  were  at  first 
taken  for  rough  maps  of  the  seat  of  war.  Rufus  Choate,  whose  signature  has 
been  aptly  compared  to  a  gridiron  struck  by  lightning,  was  equally  unfortunate. 
While  having  his  house  repaired,  he  had  promised  to  send  the  model  for  a 
carved  mantel-piece.  Failing  to  obtain  what  he  wanted,  he  wrote  to  his  work- 
man to  that  effect.  The  carpenter  eyed  the  missive  from  all  points  of  view, 
and  finally  decided  that  it  must  be  the  promised  plan  :  so  he  set  to  work  to 
fashion  what  must  have  been  the  most  original  mantel-piece  that  ever  orna- 
mented a  room.  Professor  Ticknor  once  told  Mr.  Choate  that  he  had  in  his 
possession  two  letters,  one  written  by  Manuel  the  Great  of  Portugal  in  1512, 
the  other  by  Gonsalvo  de  Cordova  a  few  years  earlier.  "These  letters 
strongly  resemble  your  notes  of  the  present  trial."  Choate  instantly  retorted, 
"  Remarkable  men  !  they  seem  to  have  been  much  in  advance  of  their  time  !" 

Henry  Ward  Beecher  can  hardly  be  considered  to  have  been  a  model  scribe, 
seeing  that  one  of  his  daughters  owned  that  her  three  guiding  rules  in  copying 
his  manuscript  were,  to  remember  that  if  a  letter  was  dotted,  it  was  not  an  i ; 
if  a  letter  was  crossed,  it  was  not  a  /;  and  if  a  word  began  with  a  capital 
letter,  it  did  not  begin  a  sentence. 

But  no  penman,  either  American  or  foreign,  could  have  been  worse  than 
Horace  Greeley.  "Good  God!"  said  a  new  compositor,  to  whom  a  "take" 
of  the  editor's  copy  had  been  handed,  "if  Belshazzar  had  seen  this  writing  on 
the  wall,  he  would  have  been  more  terrified  than  he  was."  It  may  have  been 
this  very  man  of  whom  a  good  story  is  told.  Becoming  disgusted  with  his 
typographical  blunders,  Greeley  sent  a  note  up  to  the  foreman,  requesting  him 
to  discharge  the  man  at  once,  as  he  was  too  ineiificient  a  workman  to  be  any 
longer  employed  on  the  Tribune.  The  foreman  obeyed  the  instructions  ;  but, 
before  leaving,  the  compositor  managed  to  get  possession  of  Greeley's  note. 
He  at  once  went  to  a  rival  office  and  applied  for  a  position,  showing  the  note 
as  a  letter  of  recommendation.  The  foreman  pored  long  and  earnestly  over 
the  crabbed  penmanship.  Finally  he  thought  he  saw  a  clue, — "  Oh,  I  see  ! 
'good  and  efficient  compositor,  and  a  long  time  employed  on  the  Tribune, 
Horace  Greeley,' " — and  immediately  set  him  to  work.  The  painter  of  the 
New  York  Tribune  bulletins  once  received  a  notice  in  the  well-known  but 
ever-unintelligible  hieroglyphics,  intending  to  inform  the  public  that  they  were 
to  seek  "Entrance  on  Spruce  Street."  After  some  hours'  hard  study  and 
cogitation,  the  puzzled  man  of  the  brush,  in  sheer  desperation,  dashed  off,  in 
large  letters,  "  Editor's  on  a  Spree,"  and  posted  the  hilarious  announcement 
on  the  front  door  of  the  Tribune  office. 

Once  upon  a  time  Mr.  M.  B.  Castle,  of  Sandwich,  Illinois,  invited  Mr. 
Greeley  to  lecture.     To  this  the  following  reply  was  sent : 

Dear  Sir, — I  am  overworked,  and  growing  old.  I  shall  be  sixty  next  February  third.  On 
the  whole,  it  seems  I  must  decline  to  lecture  henceforth,  except  in  this  immediate  vicinity,  if  I 
do  at  all.     I  cannot  promise  to  visit  Illinois  on  that  errand, — certainly  not  now. 

Yours,  Horace  Greeley. 

M.  B.  Castle,  Sandwich,  111. 

We  can  partly  imagine  the  great  efforts  made  by  the  lecture  committee  and 
others  to  decipher  Horace's  pot-hooks,  and  the  delight  which  they  must  have 
38 


446  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

felt  at  their  ultimate  success.     That  they  were  successful  will  be  seen  from  the 
following  answer  forwarded  in  due  time  to  Mr.  Greeley  : 

Sandwich,  III.,  May  12th. 
Horace  Greeley,  New  York  Tribune. 

Dear  Sir, — Your  acceptance  to  lecture  before  our  association  next  winter  came  to  hand 
this  morning.  Your  penmanship  not  being  the  plainest,  it  took  some  time  to  translate  it,  but 
we  succeeded,  and  would  say  your  time,  "  third  of  February,"  and  terms,  "  sixty  dollars," 
are  perfectly  satisfactorj'.  As  you  suggest,  we  may  be  able  to  get  yuu  other  engagements  in 
this  immediate  vicinity ;  if  so,  we  will  advise  you 

Yours  respectfully,  M.  E.  Castle. 

Greeley  wrote  as  follows  to  decline  an  invitation  of  the  Iowa  Press  Asso- 
ciation : 

I  have  waited  till  longer  waiting  would  be  discourteous,  only  to  find  that  I  cannot  attend 
your  Press  meeting  next  June  as  1  would  like  to  do.  I  find  so  many  cares  and  duties  pressing 
on  me  that,  with  the  weight  of  years,  I  feel  obliged  to  decline  any  invitation  that  takes  me  away 
a  day's  journey  from  home. 

Out  of  this,  the  recipients,  in  consultation  assembled,  made, — 

I  have  wondered  all  along  whether  any  squirt  had  denied  the  scandal  about  the  President 


meeting  Jane  in  the  woods  on  Saturday.  I  have  hominy,  carrots,  and  R.  R.  ties  more  than  I 
could  move  with  eight  steers.  If  eels  are  blighted,  dig  them  early.  Any  insinuation  that  brick 
ovens  are  dangerous  to  hams  gives  me  the  horrors. 

The  Duke  of  Wellington,  when  sitting  in  the  House  of  Lords,  received  a 
letter  from  the  eminent  landscape-designer  and  great  authority  on  botanical 
matters,  J.  C.  Loudon.  The  duke  had  lost  sight  of  him  for  some  years.  It 
was  a  note  to  this  effect : 

My  Lord  Duke, — It  would  gratify  me  extremely  if  you  would  permit  me  to  visit  Strath- 
fieldsaye  at  any  time  convenient  to  yoiu-  Grace,  and  to  inspect  the  "  Waterloo  beeches." 

Your  Grace's  faithful  servant, 

J.  C.  Loudon. 

The  Waterloo  beeches  were  trees  that  had  been  planted  immediately  after 
tlie  battle  of  Waterloo,  as  a  memorial  of  the  great  fight.  The  duke  read  the 
letter  twice, — the  writing  of  which  was  not  very  clear, — and,  with  his  usual 
promptness  and  politeness,  replied  as  follows,  having  read  the  signature  as 
•'  C.  J.  London"  instead  of  "  J.  C.  Loudon  :" 

My  dear  Bishop  op  London,— It  will  always  give  me  great  pleasure  to  see  you  at  Strath- 
fieldsaye.  Pray  come  there  whenever  it  suits  your  convenience,  whether  I  am  at  home  or 
not.  My  servant  will  receive  orders  to  show  you  as  many  pairs  of  breeches  of  mine  as  you 
wish ;  but  why  you  should  wish  to  inspect  those  that  I  wore  at  the  battle  of  Waterloo  is  quite 
beyond  the  comprehension  of 

Yours,  most  truly, 

Wellington. 

This  letter  was  received,  as  may  be  supposed,  with  great  surprise  by  the 
Bishop  of  London.  He  showed  it  to  the  Archbishop  of  Canterbury,  and  to 
other  discreet  persons  :  they  came  to  the  melancholy  conclusion  that  the  great 
Duke  of  Wellington  had  evidently  lost  his  senses.  The  Bishop  of  London 
(Blonifield)  declared  that  he  had  not  written  to  the  duke  for  two  years,  and 
to  receive  this  extraordinary  intimation  puzzled  the  whole  bench  of  bishops. 
Explanations,  however,  of  a  satisfactory  kind  followed,  and  the  friendship  of 
these  worthy  men  was  not  changed. 

General  Meigs  was  one  of  the  poorest  penmen  in  official  life,  and  to  one 
not  very  familiar  with  his  handwriting  it  was  simply  the  worst  sort  of  Greek 
in  the  world.  General  Sherman,  through  whose  hands  a  great  deal  of  Gen- 
eral Meigs's  official  correspondence  passed,  once  wrote  under  one  of  the 
latter's  endorsements,  "I  heartily  concur  in  the  endorsement  of  the  Quarter- 
master-General, but  I  don't  know  what  he  says." 

Dr.  Parr,  the  great  scholar,  thus  criticised  a  friend's  writing  : 

His  letters  put  me  in  mind  of  tumult  and  anarchy ;  there  is  sedition  in  every  sentence ; 
syllable  has  no  longer  any  confidence  in  syllable,  but  dissolves  its  connection,  as  preferring  an 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  447 

alliance  with  the  succeeding  word.  A  page  of  his  epistle  looks  like  the  floor  of  a  garden- 
house  covered  with  old  crooked  nails  which  have  just  been  released  from  a  century's  durance 
in  a  brick  wall.  I  cannot  cast  my  eyes  on  his  characters  without  being  religious.  This  is  the 
onlj-  good  effect  I  have  derived  from  his  writings  :  he  brings  into  my  mind  the  resurrection 
and  paints  the  tumultuous  resuscitation  of  awakened  men  with  a  pencil  of  masterly  confusion. 

Yet  Dr.  Parr  was  himself  a  conspicuous  offender.  Sir  William  Jones  once 
wrote  a  letter  of  expostulation  to  him,  in  which  he  said,  "  To  speak  plainly 
with  you,  your  English  and  Latin  characters  are  so  badly  formed  that  I  have 
infinite  difficulty  to  read  your  letters,  and  have  abandoned  all  hopes  of 
deciphering  many  of  them.  Your  Greek  is  wholly  illegible :  it  is  perfect 
algebra." 

A  Fellow  of  Magdalen  College  received  one  day  a  note  from  Parr  to  say 
that  he  was  on  his  way  to  Oxford,  would  sup  with  him  that  night,  and  would 
be  glad  to  have  "  two  eggs"  (so  the  recipient  read  the  words)  got  ready  for  his 
supper.  Accordingly,  on  his  arrival,  the  two  eggs  were  served  up,  not  with- 
out formality,  to  the  hungry  doctor,  who  no  sooner  saw  them  than  he  flew 
into  a  violent  passion.     Instead  of  "  two  eggs"  he  had  written  "  lobsters." 

And  this  recalls  a  whole  cycle  of  stories  of  a  similar  nature.  A  hundred 
years  ago  Lord  Harry  Pawlett  was  paying  his  attentions  to  a  lady  who  per- 
suaded him  to  present  her  with  a  couple  of,  monkeys.  Eager  to  oblige,  Lord 
Harry  applied  to  a  friend  in  the  East  for  the  animals.  Writing  in  a  bad  hand, 
and  spelling  two  "too,"  the  word  was  mistaken  for  100  in  "figures,  and  the 
nobleman  was  dismayed  when  he  received  a  letter  from  his  agent  with  the 
news  that  he  would  receive  fifty  monkeys  by  such  a  ship,  and  fifty  more  as 
soon  as  they  could  be  procured.  But  this  joke  has  its  counterpart  in  the 
story  of  a  Virginia  planter|t  a  century  earlier,  who  wrote  to  his  factor  in 
England  to  send  him  two  virtuous  young  women.  Through  the  same  mis- 
apprehension of  the  characters  forming  the  word  "two,"  the  factor  sent  him 
fifty  examp4es  of  the  softer  sex,  with  the  promise  of  fifty  more  as  soon  as  the 
number  of  volunteers  for  Virginia  could  be  made  up.  Sir  Edward  Vernay,  in 
a  letter  to  his  son  Ralph,  dated  January  19,  1635,  tells  the  following  story.  A 
London  merchant  wrote  to  his  factor  beyond  sea  to  send  him,  by  the  next  ship, 
2  or  3  apes.  He  forgot  the  r,  and  then  it  was  203  apes.  His  factor  sent  him 
fourscore,  with  the  promise  that  he  would  have  the  remainder  by  the  next 
vessel. 

The  following  jolly  letter  was  sent  to  the  eminent  and  accomplished  ex- 
president  of  the  American  Academy  for  the  Advancement  of  Science,  Pro- 
fessor E.  S.  Morse.  It  speaks  for  itself,  and  needs  no  comment  beyond  the 
plain  statement  that  in  truth  his  handwriting  is  not  to  be  lightly  dealt  with  : 

My  dear  Mr.  Morse,— It  was  very  pleasant  to  me  to  get  a  letter  from  you  the  other  day. 
Perhaps  I  should  have  found  it  pleasanter  if  1  had  been  able  to  decipher  it.  I  don't  think  that 
1  mastered  anything  beyond  the  date  (which  I  knew)  and  the  signature  (which  I  guessed  at). 
There's  a  singular  and  perpetual  charm  in  a  letter  of  yours  :  it  never  grows  old ;  it  never  loses 
its  novelty.  One  can  say  to  one's  self  every  morning,  "  There's  that  letter  of  Morse's.  I 
haven't  read  it  yet.  I  think  I'll  take  another  shy  at  it  to-day,  and  maybe  I  shall  be  able  in 
the  course  of  a  few  days  to  make  out  what  he  means  by  those  '  t's'  that  look  like  '  w's,'  and 
those  '  i's'  that  haven't  any  eyebrows."  Other  letters  are  read,  and  thrown  away,  and  for- 
gotten ;  but  yours  are  kept  forever — unread.  One  of  them  will  last  a  reasonable  man  a  life- 
time. 

Admiringly  yours, 

T.  B.  Aldrich. 

Equally  atnusing  is  this  letter  from  the  poet  Hood  to  Lady  Georgiana  Ful- 
lerton,  which  forms  part  of  a  famous  autograph  collection  in  New  York  City: 

My  dear  Madam, — I  have  to  acknowledge  the  receipt  of  your  Lock  on  the  Human  Under- 
standing, which,  like  one  of  Bramah's,  effectually  defied  my  picking.  Like  Tony  Lumpkin, 
I  felt  persuaded  there  was  something  in  the  letter,  but  I  could  not  make  it  out.  It  seemed  a 
Chinese  puzzle  done  in  English. 

I  thought  at  first  that  I  had  obtained  some  new  incomprehensible  contributor  to  the  Comic 


448  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Annual, — then  that  it  was  a  communication  from  one  of  Irving's  female  Mystics, — and  then 
that  I  had  heard  from  Horace  Walpole's  Mysterious  Mother. 

Your  signature  at  last  upset  these  conjectures,  but  it  did  not  help  me  to  read  the  riddle,  and 
in  my  ignorance  I  imagined  the  most  out-of-the-way  commands  or  requests,  for  instance,  that 
having  received  a  little  rare  turnip-seed,  you  begged  a  little  leg-of-mutton-seed  to  sow  with  it. 

Finally  I  sighed  "  Poor  Lady,"  and  was  meditating  a  hint  to  Governor  Elliot — 1  don't 
mean  the  Gibraltar  Man,  but  your  own  Defender — to  keep  your  fingers  from  pen,  ink,  and 
paper,  at  the  full  of  the  moon,  when  a  key  was  placed  in  my  hand  which  converted  the  be- 
wildering Sphynx  into  a  rational,  sensible  daughter  of  Eve,  with  whose  request,  as  soon  as 
deciphered,  I  hasten  to  comply. 

The  enigmatical  epistle,  however,  I  shall  carefully  preserve,  for  in  case  my  correspondence 
should  be  published  hereafter  (and  a  one-sided  correspondence  it  will  be,  for  I  do  not  always 
answer  so  punctually  as  the  Irish  echo)  the  mysterious  billet  signed  Georgiana  may  suggest  to 
an  imaginative  biographer  some  little  romantic  episode  to  introduce  into  the  even  tenor  of  the 
life  of  one  who  is,  and  will  be. 

Yours,  dear  Madam,  very  sincerely, 

Thos.  Hood. 

Of  Mr.  Brooks,  one  time  President  of  the  New  York  Central  Railroad,  a 
somewhat  apocryphal  story  is  told.  He  once  wrote  to  a  man  living  along  the 
line  of  his  road  threatening  to  prosecute  him  forthwith  unless  he  removed  a 
barn  he  had  run  up  on  the  company's  property.  The  recipient  did  not  read 
the  letter,  because  reading  it  was  impossible,  but  he  made  out  the  signature, 
and  arrived  at  the  conclusion  that  the  manager  had  favored  him  with  a  free 
pass  along  the  line.  As  such  he  used  it  for  a  couple  of  years,  no  conductor 
on  the  route  being  able  to  dispute  his  reading  of  the  document. 

Equally  apocryphal  is  the  tale  told  of  Macready.  One  day  he  gave  a  friend 
an  order  of  admission  (American,  a  "  pass")  for  a  third  party.  "  If  I  had  not 
known  what  it  was,"  said  the  latter,  "  I  should  jiave  taken  it  for  a  doctor's 
recipe."  "It  does  look  like  it,"  said  the  other:  "suppose  we  try  it  on  an 
apothecary."  They  walked  into  the  first  shop  and  presented  the  scrawl  to  the 
clerk.  He  threw  a  quick  glance  over  it  and  began  to  pour  into  a  phial  from 
various  bottles.  Another  glance,  another  ingredient, — the  phial  was  now  half 
full.  Then  came  a  dubious  pause :  the  clerk  scratched  his  head,  and  finally, 
baffled,  appealed  to  the  proprietor  of  the  establishment.  A  short  low  dialogue 
took  place  ;  then  the  chief,  with  an  air  of  superior  wisdom,  took  down  another 
bottle,  filled  the  phial  with  an  apocryphal  liquid,  and  corked  and  labelled  it  in 
due  form.  "  Fifteen  pence  for  the  cough-mixture,"  he  said,  as  he  handed  it 
over  to  the  purchaser  with  a  friendly  smile. 

One  cannot  help  rejoicing  at  the  following  story  and  hoping  that  it  is  true. 
A  Yale  student  handed  in  a  paper  to  his  professor,  and  was  surprised  the 
next  day  to  have  it  returned,  with  a  note  scrawled  on  the  margin.  He  studied 
it  diligently,  but  was  unable  to  decipher  the  note,  and  so  he  brought  his  paper 
back  to  the  professor. 

"  I  can't  quite  make  out  what  this  is,  if  you  please,"  said  the  student. 

"  That,  sir  V  said  the  professor  ;  "  why,  that  says  I  cannot  read  your  hand- 
writing.    You  write  illegibly,  sir." 

Is  it  too  much  to  ask  that  those  who  insist  upon  being  privileged  to  write 
illegibly  should  adopt  the  plan  of  the  polite  Frenchman,  who,  sensible  of  his 
faultiness,  always  forwarded  his  letters  in  duplicate,  with  this  explanation, 
"  Out  of  respect,  I  write  to  you  with  my  own  hand  ;  but  to  facilitate  the  reading, 
I  send  you  a  copy  which  I  have  caused  my  amanuensis  to  make." 

Hang  together,  We  must  all.  The  possibility  of  being  hanged  seems 
to  have  been  an  ever-present  spectre  in  the  mental  retina  of  the  Revolutionary 
fathers.  Everybody  remembers  the  greeting  the  Father  of  his  Country  re- 
ceived from  its  grandmother,  when,  on  a  temporary  or  accidental  return  home, 
the  good  lady  his  mother  hailed  him  with,  "  Well,  George,  I  see  they  have 
not  hanged  you  yet."     So  in  his  celebrated  "  wheresoever,  whensoever,  and 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  449 

howsoever"  speech,  the  elder  Josiah  Quincy  took  occasion  to  say,  "  Blandish- 
ments will  not  fascinate  us,  nor  will  threats  of  a  halter  intimidate.  For,  under 
God,  we  are  determined  that  wheresoever,  whensoever,  and  howsoever  we  shall 
be  called  to  make  our  exit,  we  will  die  freemen."  (Obsdrvations  on  the  Boston 
Fort  Bill,  1774.) 

There  is  a  little  bit  of  dialogue  in  one  of  Shakespeare's  comedies,  which, 
if  not  apropos  to  the  story  which  follows,  must  serve  as  an  introduction. 
Snout,  Quince,  and  the  rest  are  discussing  their  proposed  interlude : 

Bottom.  Let  me  play  the  lion  too  :  I  will  roar,  that  I  will  do  any  man's  heart  good  to 
hear  me  ;  I  will  roar,  that  I  will  make  the  duke  say,  "  Let  him  roar  again,  let  him  roar  again." 

Quitice.  An  you  should  do  it  too  terribly,  you  would  fright  the  duchess  and  the  ladies,  that 
they  would  shriek  ;  that  were  enough  to  hang  us  all. 

Alt.  That  would  hang  us,  every  mother's  son. 

Bottom.  I  'grant  you,  friends,  if  that  you  should  fright  the  ladies  out  of  their  wits,  they 
would  have  no  more  discretion  but  hang  us  ;  but  1  will  aggravate  my  voice  so  that  I  will  roar 
you  as  gently  as  any  sucking  dove  :  I  will  roar  you  an  'twere  any  nightingale. — Midsummer 
Night's  Drtam,  Act  i.,  be.  2. 

The  Declaration  of  Independence  doubtless  was  calculated  to  create  a  dis- 
turbance, and  possibly  to  scare  some  of  the  ladies  of  either  sex,  in  or  out  of 
the  British  Parliament,  out  of  their  wits.  But  it  is  not  necessary  to  imagine 
that  John  Hancock  had  this  scene  in  mind  when  he  made  the  remark.  While 
the  document  was  being  signed,  he  took  occasion  to  say,  with  fitting  solemnity, 
perhaps  with  a  shade  of  apprehensiveness,  "  We  must  all  hang  together." 
"  Ay,"  replied  Franklin,  quickly,  "  we  must  all  hang  together,  else  we  shall 
all  hang  separately." 

Hanged.    He  that  was  born  to  be  hanged  will  never  be  drowned, 

an  old  English  proverb  which  has  its  precise  equivalent  in  most  other  modern 
languages.  Some  foreign  proverbs  play  with  the  idea  in  a  spirit  of  grim  jest. 
Thus,  the  Danes  say,  "  He  that  is  to  be  hanged  will  never  be  drowned,  unless 
the  water  goes  over  the  gallows  ;"  the  Italian,  "  He  that  is  to  die  by  the  gal- 
lows may  dance  on  the  river  ;"  and  the  Dutch,  "  What  belongs  to  the  raven 
does  not  drown."  Shakespeare  alludes  to  the  proverb  in  "  The  Tempest," 
when  he  makes  Gonzago  say  of  the  boatswain,  "  I  have  great  comfort  from 
this  fellow  :  methinks  he  hath  no  drowning  mark  upon  him  ;  his  complexion 
is  perfect  gallows.  Stand  fast,  good  fate,  to  his  hanging  !  Make  the  rope  of 
his  destiny  our  cable,  for  our  own  doth  little  advantage.  If  he  be  not  born  to 
be  hanged,  our  case  is  miserable." 

Hanged  if  I  do!  a  colloquialism  expressing  emphatic  refusal,  probably  a 

euphemism  for  "d d  if  I  do."    An  amusing  story  is  told  of  Thelwall,  while 

his  trial  for  high  treason  was  proceeding.  During  the  course  of  the  trial,  he 
sent  up  to  Erskine,  who  was  his  counsel,  a  slip  of  paper  on  which  he  had 
written  the  words,  "I  shall  be  hanged  if  I  don't  plead  my  own  cause." 
Without  a  word  of  comment  his  counsel  returned  him  a  slip  with  the  words 
simply,  "You'll  be  hanged  if  you  do."  "Then,"  replied  Thelwall,  in  a  sim- 
ilar manner,  "  I'll  be  hanged  if  I  do."  In  the  same  vein,  when  Lord  Thur- 
low  had  concluded  a  speech  in  Parliament  with  the  peroration,  "When  I 
forget  my  king,  may  my  God  forget  me  !"   "  God  forget  you  !"    cried  John 

WHkes;  "  he'tl  see  you  d d  first!"     Mnrko' s,  sotto  voce  \G]o\ndex  to  Thur- 

low  was,  "  And  the  best  thing  that  could  happen  to  you."  Lord  Thurlow  was 
the  man  of  whom  Charles  James  Fox  used  to  say,  "  No  man  can  be  as  wise 
as  Thurlow  looked." 

Hanover  rat.  It  used  to  be  asserted  by  the  Jacobites  that  the  rat  came 
over  into  England  with  the  Hanoverian  dynasty  when  it  succeeded  to  the 
crown : 

dd  38* 


45°  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Curse  me  the  British  vermin,  the  rat, 

I  know  not  whether  he  came  in  the  Hanover  ship. 

Tennyson  :  Maud. 

Hans  von  Rippach.  This  is  the  German  Monsieur  Nong-tong-paw,^ 
i.e.,  some  one  asked  for  who  does  not  exist.  Hans  is  German  for  Jack,  and 
Rippach  is  a  small  village  near  Leipsic.  A  German  student,  in  a  merry 
humor,  calls  at  a  house  and  asks  for  Herr  Hans  von  Rippach,  just  as  an 
English  spark  asks  for  Monsieur  Nong-tong-paw.  A  similar  phrase  popular  at 
one  time  in  the  United  States  was,  "  Have  you  seen  Tom  Collins.'"'  Another 
member  of  the  same  family  is  the  celebrated  "  Nick  Van  Stan"  of  Saxe's 
poem,  and  still  another  is  our  zoological  friend  the  Kangaroo  {q.  v.). 

Happy  hunting-grounds,  the  Elysium  or  Paradise  of  the  Indian,  which 
he  hopes  to  find  in  the  next  world,  and  which  paints  itself  to  his  mind's  eye 
as  a  prairie  chock  full  of  buffalo  and  other  game.  Hence  the  Indian's  favorite 
pony  was  killed  at  the  burying-ground  to  enjoy  an  eternity  of  sport  with  him, 
and  his  rifle,  pistol,  bow,  and  quiver  were  laid  beside  the  corpse.  The  phrase 
has  come  into  general  use  in  American  colloquial  speech  as  a  synonyme  for 
Kingdom  Come  or  other  facetious  name  for  heaven. 

Hard  money,  a  term  current  in  the  United  States  in  political  parlance, 
especially  during  the  second  half  of  the  decade  1870-1880,  to  designate  specie 
as  distinguished  from  "soft  money,"  by  which  latter  was  understood  an  irre- 
deemable paper  currency  such  as  was  advocated  by  the  Greenbackers. 

Hard  Shell,  Soft  Shell,  in  American  speech,  terms  invented  to  desig- 
nate the  crab  in  its  different  states  of  crustaceous  development,  but  by  a  figure 
of  speech  extended  so  as  to  apply  to  rigid,  unyielding  conservatism  on  the  one 
side,  and  flexible  liberality  on  the  other.  In  religion  the  term  was  first  applied 
to  the  two  wings  of  the  Baptist  Church.  In  politics  a  conspicuous  early  in- 
stance of  the  application  of  the  terms,  in  vogue  from  1848  to  1854,  was  to  the 
two  factions  of  the  Democratic  party  in  the  State  of  New  York.  The  conserva- 
tive "  Hunkers"  {q.  v.)  received  the  name  of  "  Hards"  or  "  Hard  Shells,"  and 
their  opponents,  the  "  Barnburners,"  some  of  whom  betrayed  a  leaning 
towards  the  restriction  of  the  institution  of  slavery,  were  called  "  Softs"  or 
"  Soft  Shells." 

Hardly  ever.  One  of  the  happiest  hits  made  in  Gilbert  and  Sullivan's 
comic  opera  "  H.  M.  S.  Pinafore"  was  in  the  skilful  repetition  of  the  words 
"Hardly  ever,"  which  furnish  a  sort  of  ever-recurring  key-note  after  the  fol- 
lowing fashion, — where  the  captain  winds  up  his  own  praises  by  the  splendid 
eulogiuni, — 

And  I'm  never,  never  sick  at  sea. 

Chorus.  What,  never? 

Captain.  No,  never ! 

Chorus.  What,  never  ? 

Captain.  Well,  hardly  ever. 

Is  this  a  far-off  reminiscence  of  the  story  of  the  French  ecclesiastic  who  was 
greatly  confused  by  the  honor  of  preaching  before  Louis  XIV. .''  During  his 
discourse  he  had  occasion  to  say,  "  We  all  must  die."  Then,  catching  breath, 
he  turned  in  a  complimentary  way  to  Louis  and  added,  "Nearly  all  of  us." 

Something  faintly  similar  also  occurs  in  Shakespeare,  "The  Winter's  Tale," 
Act  i.,  Sc.  2.      When  Hermione,  at  the  request  of  Leontes,  urges  Polixenes 
to  prolong  his  stay  with  them,  he  consents,  whereupon  Leontes  exclaims, — 
Hermione,  my  dear'st,  thou  never  spokest 
To  better  purpose. 
Herin.  Never? 
Leont.  Never,  but  once. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


451 


A  closer  parallel  may  be  found  in  a  pastoral  duet  included  in  "The  Songs 
and  Ballads  sung  at  Vaux  Hall,"  1754,  which  runs  thus  : 

Collin.   Dear  Phillis,  sweet  girl,  be  now  kind  to  my  pain. 

Nor  suflfer  me  longer  to  court  you  in  vain. 
And  I'll  love  you  sincerely  forever. 
Phillis.  Ah,  Collin,  my  heart  was  about  to  comply, 

But  what  my  hope  wishes  my  fears  will  deny  ; 

I  can  never  be  yours. 
Collin.  What,  never? 

Phillis.  No,  never,  I  ne'er  can  be  yours. 
Collin.  Fye,  Phillis  !  how  can  you  still  trifle  with  love? 
Away  with  your  fears,  and  my  passion  approve. 
When  I  tell  you  I'll  love  you  forever. 
Phillis.  Fye,  Collin  !  how  can  you  still  tease  me  in  vain. 

When  I  told  you  before,  and  I  tell  you  again, 

I  can  never  be  yours  ? 
Collin.  What,  never?  (etc. J 

Collin.  Then  adieu  to  all  joy  ;  my  heart  will  sure  break 
If  my  Phillis  denies  what  I  fondly  did  seek. 

I  can  never  be  happy,  no,  never. 
Phillis.  Then  away  with  my  doubts  ;  I  will  fondly  believe 

That  Collin  his  Phillis  will  never  deceive. 

That  Collin  will  love  me 
Collin.  Forever. 

Phillis.  You  never,  sure  never  will  leave  me. 
Collin.  No,  never. 

(Phillis.  No,  never,  sure  never  will  leave  me. 
\  Collin.  No,  never  will  leave  you,  no,  never. 

When  the  "  Westminster  Play"  was  produced  during  the  run  of  "  Pinafore" 
the  following  "gag"  was  introduced  by  the  students  : 

Charinus.  Tu  pol  non  sobrius  es. 

Byrrhia.  Quid  ais  ? 

Non  ego  sobrius  ?     At  me  Teetotalicus  ordo 

Inter  discipulos  gaudet  habere  suos  : 

Lac  et  aquam  poto,  non  vini  turpe  venenum. 

Charinus.  Tu  nunquam  Bacchi  pocula  grata  bibis? 

Byrrhia..  Nunquam. 

Sim.  Quid?  nunquam? 

Byrrhia.  Vix  unquam. 

Harness.  To  die  in  harness,  a  common  English  phrase,  meaning  to  die 
in  action,  to  die  with  one's  armor  on,  harness  being  a  now  obsolescent  word 
for  armor :  thus,  "  Nicanor  lay  dead  in  his  harness"  (//.  Maccab.  xv.  28),  and 

At  least  we'll  die  with  harness  on  our  back. 

Macbeth,  Act  v.,  Sc.  $. 

A  more  recent  use  of  harness  in  this  sense  occurs  in  Macaulay's  "  Lays  of 
Ancient  Rome :" 

And  with  his  harness  on  his  back 

Plunged  headlong  in  the  tide.  "' 

Harry  of  the  West,  a  sobriquet  given  to  Henry  Clay  by  his  admirers. 

Where  had  been  General  Harrison  during  the  preceding  twelve  years,  the  period  of  bitter 
warfare  between  the  Jackson  party,  headed  by  the  obstinate,  sagacious,  indomitable  old  hero, 
and  the  opposition,  led  during  the  whole  period  by  the  eloquent,  the  ever-vigilant,  the  faithful 
Harry  of  the  West?  Had  Harrison's  voice  ever  been  heard  during  all  this  dark  and  trying 
period,  when  'midst  the  thickest  gloom  and  smoke  all  looked  up  to  Mr.  Clay,  sure  that  he  was 
at  his  post  doing  the  duty  of  a  patriot,  and,  if  perchance  he  could  not  be  seen  amid  the  smoke 
and  din,  watching  for  his  nodding  plume  ?— Sargent  :  Public  Men  and  Events,  ii.  95. 

Hartford  Convention,  an  assembly  of  delegates  from  several  of  the  New 
England  States  which  met  at  Hartford  in  December,  1S14,  to  discuss  measures 
for  opposing  the  administration  of  President  Madison,  and  more  particularly 
directed  against  the   continuation  of  the  war  with  England.      It  has  been 


452  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

charged  that  the  secession  of  the  New  England  States  was  mooted.     Peace 
being  soon  after  proclaimed,  however,  nothing  resulted  from  the  deliberations. 

Haste  makes  -waste,  an  English  proverb,  with  analogues  in  all  lan- 
guages. In  this  form  it  is  found  first  in  literature  in  Heywood's  "  Proverbs," 
Part  i.,  chap.  ii.     But  Chaucer  had  already  said, — 

There  n'  is  no  werkman,  whatever  he  be, 
That  may  both  werken  wel  and  hastily ; 
This  wol  be  done  at  leisure  parfitly. 

The  Marchantes  Tale,  1.  585. 

This  may  or  may  not  be  a  reminiscence  of  Publius  Syrus,  "  Nothing  can  be 
done  at  once  hastily  and  prudently"  {Maxim  357),  as  well  as  of  Plutarch, 
"  Ease  and  speed  in  doing  a  thing  do  not  give  a  work  lasting  solidity  or  exactness 
of  beauty."  But  indeed  the  gist  of  the  matter  is  summed  up  in  Augustus's 
favorite  maxim,  "  Festina  lente"  ("Make  haste  slowly").  A  variant  of  the 
English  proverb  reads,  "  The  more  haste,  the  less  speed." 

Hat.  Oh,  where  did  you  get  that  hat?  Of  all  articles  of  attire,  the 
hat  has  ever  been  most  vulnerable  to  ridicule.  Any  eccentricity  in  head-gear 
is  sure  to  draw  out  the  jeers  of  the  populace,  who  have  always  found  them- 
selves furnished  with  some  ready-made  bit  of  slang  to  complete  the  discom- 
fiture of  the  wearer.  Just  at  present  the  accepted  phrase  is,  "  Oh,  where  did 
you  get  that  hat .''"  which  is  the  first  line  of  a  popular  song,  and  consequently 
admits  of  all  the  pervasive  charms  of  melody  to  heighten  its  effect.  Some 
years  ago  there  was  current  an  objurgation  to  "Shoot  the  hat !"  Antiquarians 
explained  this  mystic  phrase  as  being  a  reminiscence  or  corruption  of  an 
antecedently  popular  jest  which  gradually  grew  obsolete  because  it  needed  the 
elaborate  machinery  of  two  interlocutors, — a  wily  jester  and  an  innocent 
victim.  The  jester  asked,  "  Haven't  you  heard  the  gun  ?"  and  when  the  other 
in  all  good  faith  inquired,  "  What  gun  ?"  he  was  answered,  "  Why,  the  mayor" 
(or  "  the  Governor,"  or  what  not)  "  has  called  in  that  hat." 

Now,  these  bits  of  popular  humor  are  curious  avatars  of  a  phrase  that  was 
in  vogue  in  the  time  of  our  fathers  at  least,  if  not  our  grandfathers  :  "  What 
a  shocking  bad  hat !"  It  originated  in  Southwark,  had  a  great  run  in  London, 
and  eventually  crossed  over  to  America,  where  it  retained  its  popularity  for 
many  years.  The  story  runs  that  in  a  hotly-contested  election  for  the  borough 
of  Southwark  a  noted  hatter  was  one  of  the  candidates.  Being  a  shrewd 
man  of  business,  he  recognized  the  value  of  a  bribe  that  wore  no  obvious 
appearance  of  venality.  So  when  he  called  upon  or  met  a  voter  whose  hat 
was  either  out  of  the  style  or  a  trifle  worn,  he  would  invariably  salute  him 
with,  "  Oh,  what  a  shocking  bad  hat  you  have  on  !  Call  at  my  warehouse  and 
you  shall  have  a  new  one."  But  he  repeated  this  invitation  so  often  that  it 
became  a  by-word ;  the  opposition  forces  caught  it  up,  and  at  the  hustings 
they  incited  the  crowd  to  keep  up  an  incessant  cry  of  "  What  a  shocking  hat !" 
during  the  whole  time  that  the  enterprising  tradesman  was  addressing  them. 

Captain  Gronow,  however,  in  his  "  Recollections,"  gives  another  origin.  He 
says  that  the  Duke  of  York,  second  son  of  George  III.,  was  present  at  New- 
market one  day  in  18 17  or  thereabouts,  surrounded  by  several  noblemen  and 
gentlemen,  when  a  little,  insignificant-looking  man  pushed  his  way  into  the 
ring,  offering  to  bet  on  a  certain  horse.  The  duke's  curiosity  was  aroused, 
and  he  asked  who  the  stranger  was.  He  was  told  it  was  Lord  Walpole. 
"Then  the  little  man  wears  a  shocking  bad  hat,"  was  his  only  comment. 
Whatever  the  origin  of  the  phrase,  it  caught  the  popular  fancy  at  once. 
Whenever  a  man  appeared  in  public  with  a  hat  that  was  odd,  or  seedy,  or  out 
of  repair,  a  hundred  throats  would  take  up  the  cry,  "  Oh,  what  a  shocking  bad 
hat.'"     Happy  the  individual  who  bore  his  unexpected  honors  meekly.    Quick 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  453 

to  recognize  any  signs  of  irritability,  loving  to  bait  a  poor  wretch  to  madness, 
the  crowd  would  rarely  confine  themselves  to  words.  They  were  only  too  likely 
to  snatch  the  offending  tile  from  the  head  of  the  obnoxious  wearer,  and  either 
trample  it  in  the  gutter  or  raise  it  on  a  stick,  amid  wild  shouts  of  laughter  and 
reiterations  of  the  favorite  phrase. 

Hater,  A  good.  Dr.  Johnson  called  Dean  Bathurst  "  a  man  to  my  very 
heart's  content :  he  hated  a  fool,  and  he  hated  a  rogue,  and  he  hated  a  Whig; 
he  was  a  very  good  hater."  When  Charles  James  Fox,  on  the  contrary,  was 
asked  concerning  a  certain  member  of  Parliament  who  was  at  once  irritating 
to  the  Whigs  by  his  virulence  and  tiresome  by  his  prolixity,  he  replied,  "Ah, 
well,  I  am  a  bad  hater."  Keats  varied  the  phrase  when  he  said  of  Hazlitt, 
"  He  is  your  only  good  damner.  If  ever  I  am  damned,  I  should  like  to  be 
damned  by  him."  Perhaps  he  remembered  Selden's  words  in  his  "Table- 
Talk,"  "  to  preach  long,  loud,  and  damnation,  is  the  way  to  be  cried  up.  We 
love  a  man  that  damns  us,  and  we  run  after  him  again  to  save  us." 

Hats  and  Caps.  The  names  of  two  political  factions  by  which  Sweden 
was  distracted  in  the  middle  of  the  eighteenth  century,  leaning  respectively 
towards  France  and  towards  Russia.  The  French  partisans  wore  a  French 
chapeau  as  their  badge,  and  the  Russian  sympathizers  a  Russian  cap,  whence 
the  name.     Carlyle's  derivation  is  somewhat  different  : 

"  Fashion  of  Hats,"  "  Fashion  of  Caps"  (that  is,  nigkt-ca.p'^ ,  as  being  somnolent  and  dis- 
inclined to  France  and  war) ;  seldom  did  a  once  valiant,  far-shining  nation  sink  to  such  depths  ! 

They  were  broken  up  and  the  use  of  their  names  prohibited  by  Gustavus 
III.  in  1771. 

Havoc,  To  cry.  Havoc  is  Anglo-Saxon  for  hawk,  and  originally  to  cry 
"  havoc"  apparently  was  a  cry  of  encouragement,  in  falconry,  to  a  hawk  when 
loosed  upon  his  prey.  In  the  later  Middle  Ages  it  was  a  military  cry  to  general 
massacre  without  quarter. 

And  Coesar's  spirit,  raging  for  revenge, 
With  Ate  by  his  side,  come  hot  from  hell, 
Shall  in  these  confines,  with  a  monarch's  voice. 
Cry  havoc,  and  let  slip  the  dogs  of  war. 

yulius  CiFsar,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  i. 

The  cry  was  forbidden,  on  pain  of  death,  in  the  ninth  year  of  the  reign  of 
Richard   II.     It  was  through  this   custom   and  cry  that  a  word   originally 
meaning  a  falcon  came  to  mean  general  and  relentless  destruction. 
Ye  gods  !  what  havoc  does  ambition  make 
Among  your  works ! 

Addison  :  Cato,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  i. 

Ha'wk-Eye  State,  the  State  of  Iowa,  so  named  after  Hawk-Eye,  the 
famous  Indian  chief. 

Hay-seeds  (that  is  to  say,  rustics),  in  the  language  of  American  politics, 
a  nickname  for  farmers  or  their  representatives  and  delegates.  In  State 
legislatures  "  the  hay-seed  delegation"  is  a  term  applied  collectively  to  the 
representatives  of  the  rural  constituencies. 

Hay-ward,  or  Hay-warden  (i.e.,  hedge-guard),  the  name  of  the  officer 
in  many  American  townships  whose  duty  it  is  to  impound  and  keep  stray 
cattle  until  they  are  redeemed  by  their  owners.  The  name  is  of  ancient  origin, 
and  was  doubtless  brought  over  with  them  by  the  early  colonists.  It  is  found 
with  cognate  words  such  as  "  fence-ward,"  "  hedge-ward,"  etc.,  in  old  English 
records,  sometimes  occurring  as  haward.     An  etymology  of  the  word,  note- 


454  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

worthy  merely  for  its  absurdity,  is  that  which  derives  the  title  of  this  official 
from  his  supposed  duty  of  driving  the  cattle  hayward,  i.e.,  in  the  direction  of 
hay. 

He's  all  right!  originated  as  a  term  of  reproach  against  the  Presidential 
candidate  of  the  Prohibitionists  in  1884.  He  had  been  a  Republican  party 
leader,  and,  as  the  only  effect  of  his  candidature  was  to  draw  off  a  portion  of 
the  Republican  vote,  he  was  roundly  denounced  by  his  former  associates. 
They  started  the  cry,  "  What  is  the  matter  with  St.  John  ?"  The  answer  to 
this  was,  "  Oh,  he's  all  right !"  This  was  accompanied  with  a  significant 
shake  of  the  head,  which  was  meant  to  imply  that  the  Democratic  barrel  had 
been  tapped  for  St.  John,  and  that  he  was  abundantly  supplied  with  lucre 
and  liquid  refreshments.  The  Prohibitionists  adopted  the  cry,  and  used  it 
during  the  canvass  in  1S84.  When  their  convention  met  at  Indianapolis  in 
May,  188S,  with  more  than  one  thousand  delegates  and  three  times  that  many 
of  their  party  friends  in  attendance,  St.  John  was  one  of  the  strong  men,  and 
he  was  made  the  permanent  chairman.  At  his  first  appearance  upon  the 
crowded  convention  platform,  a  chorus  of  voices  cried  out,  "  What's  the  mat- 
ter with  St.  John  ?"  The  answering  shout  from  the  multitude  came  like  a 
tornado,  "  He's  all  right !"  and  that  was  St.  John's  welcome  by  the  Prohibi- 
tionists. 

Head.  In  American  slang,  a  man  is  said  to  suffer  from  the  big  head  or 
swelled  head  when  he  has  an  immense  idea  of  his  own  importance.  The 
phrase  probably  arose  on  the  prairies,  where  the  big-head  is  a  peculiar  cattle- 
disease,  characterized  by  a  swelling  of  the  head.  The  matutinal  headache 
after  a  debauch  is  also  dubbed  a  head,  or  a  swelled  head,  and  is  humorously 
supposed  to  be  attended  with  a  distention  of  the  cerebellum.  To  swell  a 
man's  head  means  also  to  flatter  him,  or  to  hoax  him  with  lies  or  figments.  To 
put  a  head  on  a  man  is  to  give  him  a  sound  thrashing. 

But  all  his  jargon  was  surpassed  in  wild  absurdity 
By  threats  profanely  emphasized  to  put  a  head  on  me. 
"  No  son  of  Belial,"  said  I,  "  that  miracle  can  do  !" 
Whereat  he  fell  upon  m5  with  blows  and  curses  too, 
But  failed  to  work  that  miracle,  if  such  was  his  design  : 
Instead  of  putting  on  a  head,  he  strove  to  smite  off  mine. 

Galveston  News. 
Daniel  Webster  had  one  of  the  largest  and  most  robust  brains  that  ever  floiu-ished  in  our 
fair  land.  It  was  what  we  frequently  call  a  teeming  brain, — one  of  those  foiu--horse  teeming 
brains,  as  it  were.  Mr.  Webster  wore  the  largest  hat  of  any  man  then  in  Congress,  and  other 
senators  and  representatives  used  to  frequently  borrow  it  to  wear  on  the  2d  of  Januarj',  the 
5th  of  July,  and  after  other  special  occasions,  when  they  had  been  in  executive  session  most 
all  night  and  endured  great  mental  strain. — Bill  Nye  :  Remarks. 

Head  and  Foot,  the  top  and  the  bottom.  We  speak  of  the  head  and  foot 
of  a  class  at  school,  of  the  head  and  foot  of  a  table,  etc.  In  feudal  times  the 
baron  and  his  wife  sat  on  an  elevated  dais  at  the  head  of  the  table.  His 
friends  and  retainers  sat  farther  down  according  to  rank,  the  salt-cellar  mark- 
ing the  division  between  the  "  gentles  and  simples."  Everyone  knows  the 
anecdote  of  the  old  Highland  chief  who,  on  being  asked  at  a  dinner  in  Lon- 
don to  advance  nearer  to  the  head  of  the  table,  replied,  "  Wherever  ta  McNab 
sits,  tat's  ta  head  of  ta  table." 

Headings,  Newspaper,  or  Head-Lines,  an  American  journalistic  in- 
vention, which  arrests  the  attention  of  the  reader  and  whets  his  appetite  by 
startling  titular  lines,  "  displayed"  in  all  the  bravery  of  leads  and  large  capi- 
tals, condensing  and  epigrammatizing  the  news  in  the  body  of  the  article. 
They  are  generally  supposed  to  be  of  recent  date,  and  to  have  originated 
during  the  civil  war.     But  as  far  back  as  the  Revolution  an  original  has  been 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  455 

found  in  the  following  heading  to  a  notable  bit  of  news  published  in  the  New 
York  Gazette  and  the  Weekly  Mercury,  October  20,  1777  : 

Glorious  News  from  the  Southward,  Washington  Knocked  up —  The  Bloodiest 
Battle  in  America — 6,000  0/  his  Men  Gone — 100  JVagons  to  Carry  the  Wounded 
— General  Howe  is  at  present  in  Germantotvn — Washington  30  Miles  Back  in  a 
Shattered  Condition —  Their  Stoutest  Frigate  Taken  afid  One  Deserted —  They  are 
Tired — And  talk  of  Finishing  the  Campaign. 

Of  course  the  "glorious  news"  was  all  wrong.  At  the  time  when  it  was 
published  the  British  cause  had  been  hopelessly  crushed.  Three  days  before, 
"  the  bloodiest  battle"  in  America  had,  indeed,  been  fought, — at  Saratoga,  how- 
ever, and  not  at  Germantown, — and  had  resulted  in  the  surrender  of  Burgoyne 
to  Gates.  The  hard-headed  old  Tory  editor,  Hugh  Gaine,  had  not  heard  who 
lost  a  whole  army,  but  he  had  a  presentiment  of  "  talk  of  finishing  the  cam- 
paign." 

Of  recent  years,  and  especially  in  the  West,  the  head-line  has  been  used  in 
the  most  shocking  and  irreverent  manner,  as  when  a  wild  and  woolly  journal 
placed  over  its  account  of  the  execution  of  a  repentant  murderer,  "  Jerked  to 
Jesus,"  or  when  a  Chicago  paper  chronicled  the  hanging  of  the  seven  Anarchists 
and  dynamiters  under  the  heading  of  "  Seven  Up."  Another  Western  paper 
prefaced  its  announcement  of  the  supposed  election  of  Tilden  to  the  Presi- 
dency with  the  words,  in  large  capitals,  "  Glory  be  to  God,"  and  its  subsequent 
doubt  of  that  desired  event  with  "Let  us  Pray."  In  New  York  City  the 
defeat  of  a  favorite  club  of  base-ball  players  was  headed  "Thy  Will  be 
Done  !"  and  "  Half-Shell  Piety"  was  for  many  weeks  the  habitual  heading 
of  a  collection  of  irreverent  jokes  in  a  Western  daily. 

Head-quarters.  My  head-quarters  are  in  the  saddle,  a  phrase  attrib- 
uted to  General  Pope  during  the  war  when  asked  by  the  government  where 
he  proposed  to  make  his  head-quarters.  The  phrase  caught  on,  and  soon 
became  synonymous  with  close  attention  to  duty  and  unwearying  vigilance. 

Hear!  hear!  in  England,  a  parliamentary  expression  of  approval.  It 
might  seem  that  the  origin  of  the  phrase  was  Scriptural,  as  it  occurs  as  fol- 
lows in  II.  Samuel  xx.  i6 :  "  Then  cried  a  wise  woman  out  of  the  city.  Hear, 
hear  !"  But  this,  of  course,  is  mere  coincidence.  According  to  Macaulay, 
the  exclamation  came  into  current  use  toward  the  close  of  the  seventeenth 
century,  and  superseded  the  deep  hum  with  which  Englishmen  Were  pre- 
viously wont  to  indicate  approbation  not  only  for  an  orator  but  for  a  preacher. 
Macaulay's  words  are  as  follows  (he  is  speaking  of  the  Parliament  prorogued  by 
William  HI.,  immediately  after  his  proclamation  as  king,  in  1689)  :  "In  the 
Commons  the  debates  were  warm.  The  House  resolved  itself  into  a  Com- 
mittee, and  so  great  was  the  excitement  that  when  the  authority  of  the  Speaker 
was  withdrawn,  it  was  hardly  possible  to  preserve  order.  Sharp  personalities 
were  exchanged.  The  phrase  'hear  him,'  a  phrase  wh-ich  had  originally 
been  used  only  to  silence  irregular  noises,  and  to  remind  members  of  the 
duty  of  attending  to  the  discussion,  had,  during  some  years,  been  gradually 
becoming  what  it  now  is  ;  that  is  to  say,  a  cry  indicative,  according  to  the 
tone,  of  admiration,  acquiescence,  indignation,  or  derision."  (History  of  Eng- 
land, ch.  xi.) 

Sheridan  was  one  day  much  annoyed  by  a  fellow-member  of  the  House  of 
Commons  who  kept  crying  out  every  few  minutes,  "Hear  !  hear  !"  During 
the  debate  he  took  occasion  to  describe  a  political  contemporary  who  wished 
to  play  rogue  but  had  only  sense  enough  to  act  fool.  "  Where,"  exclaimed 
he,  with  great  emphasis, — "where  shall  we  find  a  more  foolish  knave  or  a 
more  knavish  fool  than  he?"     "Hear!  hear!"  was  shouted  by  the  trouble- 


456  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

some  member.     Sheridan  turned  round,  and,  thanking  him  for  the  prompt 
information,  sat  down  amid  a  general  roar  of  laughter. 

Heart  in  his  hand,  or  on  his  sleeve,  a  proverbial  phrase  applied  to  a 
person  so  candid  that  he  cannot  conceal  his  thoughts  and  motives  : 
But  I  will  wear  my  heart  upon  my  sleeve 
For  daws  to  peck  at. 

Shakespeare:  Othello,  Act  i.,  So.  i. 

A  close  parallel  is  found  in  "  Et  animam  meam  porto  in  manibus  meis,"  the 
Vulgate  translation  of  Job  xiii.  14,  which  runs  in  the  Authorized  Version,  "  and 
put  my  life  in  my  hand."  Corderius,  in  a  note  to  the  Latin,  compares  it  with 
a  Greek  proverb,  "  Hinc  etiam  Graeci  dicunt  proverbio,  hv  tj]  x^i-pl  ttjv  ipvxrjv 
ixei,  de  eo  qui  versatur  in  summo  discrimine."  Cf.  Proverbs  xxi.  i,  "The 
king's  heart  is  in  the  hand  of  the  Lord,  as  the  rivers  of  water ;  he  turneth 
it  whithersoever  he  will." 

Ferdinand.  Here's  my  hand. 
Miranda.  And  mine  with  my  heart  in  it. 

Shakespeare:   The  Tempest,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  i. 
With  this  hand  I  give  to  you  my  heart. 

MARLOvifE :  Dido,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  4. 

Hearts  —  Drums.  In  Longfellow's  "  Psalm  of  Life,"  the  following  is  the 
third  stanza : 

Art  is  long,  and  time  is  fleeting, 

And  our  hearts,  though  stout  and  brave. 
Still  like  muffled  drums  are  beating 

Funeral  marches  to  the  grave. 

That  our  life  is  a  march  to  the  grave  is  a  familiar  figure.  It  may  be  found, 
for  example,  in  Beaumont  and  Fletcher  : 

Our  lives  are  but  our  marches  to  the  grave. 

The  Humorous  Lieutenant,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  5. 

The  conceit  that  our  heart  beats  a  dead  march  is  closely  paralleled  in  Tom 
D'Urfey's  poem  "The  Lady  Destroyed  with  Love,"  in  his  comedy  "Don 
Quino,"  1674 : 

My  pulse  beats  a  dead  march  for  lost  repose. 
And  to  a  solid  lump  of  ice  my  poor  fond  heart  is  froze. 
Henry  King,  Bishop  of  Chichester,  has  a  similar  figure  : 
Hark,  my  pulse,  like  a  soft  drum. 
Beats  her  approach  :  I  come,  I  come. 

Heine  varies  the  metaphor  : 

Love,  my  love,  lay  your  small  hand  on  my  heart. 
Hear  every  second  a  beat  and  a  start ! 
There  dwells  a  carpenter, — evil  is  he, — 
Always  at  work  on  a  cofBn  for  me. 

He  hammers  by  night,  and  he  hammers  by  day. 
Long  he  has  driven  my  sleep  far  away. 
Hammer,  old  carpenter,  hammer  your  best! 
So  that  I  quickly  may  go  to  my  rest. 

But  if  Longfellow  has  imitated,  he  has  been  boldly  plagiarized.  The  first 
two  stanzas  of  Baudelaire's  little  poem  "Le  Guignon"  (Fleitrs  dtt  Mai,  ed. 
1861,  p.  30)  run  as  follows  : 

Pour  soulever  un  poids  si  lourd, 
Sisyphe,  il  faudrait  ton  courage  ! 
Bien  qu'on  ait  du  coeur  k  I'ouvrage, 
L'Art  est  long  et  le  Temps  est  court. 

Loin  des  sepultures  celebres. 

Vers  un  cimetiere  isole, 

Mon  ccEur,  comme  un  tambour  voile, 
Va  battant  des  marches  funebres. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  457 

Heaven  in  her  eye.    Milton  says  in  "  Paradise  Lost,"  Book  viii.,  1.  488, — 

Grace  was  in  all  her  steps,  heaven  in  her  eye. 
In  every  gesture  dignity  and  love. 

The  first  words  are  an  adaptation  from  Tibullus's  "  Sulpicia :" 
lUam  quidquid  agit,  quoquo  vestigia  vertit 
Componit  furtim  subsequiturque  decor. 
("  Whate'er  she  does,  where'er  her  steps  she  turns, 
A  furtive  grace  the  artless  girl  adorns.") 

This  passage  was  imitated  also  by  Cardinal  Bembo  and  Count  Castiglione : 
the  latter  inserted  his  Latin  adaptation  in  a  poem  he  addressed  to  his  wife, 
Elizabeth  Gonzaga.  But  whence  did  Milton  borrow  heaven  in  her  eye?  Per- 
haps from  Shakespeare's  "Troilus  and  Cressida"  (Act  iv.,  Sc.  4), — 

The  lustre  in  your  eye,  heaven  in  your  cheek. 

Pleads  yoiu-  fair  usage, — 

but  more  probably  from  the  "  Philaster"  of  Beaumont  and  Fletcher  (iii.  i), — 

How  heaven  is  in  your  eyes,— 

or  from  Dante's  "  Paradiso,"  xviii.  21,  where  Beatrice  says, — 
Not  in  mine  eyes  alone  is  paradise. 
In  Sir  John  Suckling's  tragedy  of  "  Brennoralt,"  the  hero,  gazing  on  Fran- 
cesca  asleep,  says, — 

Her  face  is  like  the  milky  way  i'  th'  sky, 
A  meeting  of  gentle  lights  without  a  name  ; 

—an  exquisite  expression,  which  Waller  has  stoleaand  spoiled  : 
Amoret,  the  milky  way. 
Framed  of  many  nameless  stars. 

Verses  to  Amoret. 

Heelers,  in  American  political  slang,  the  followers  or  henchmen  of  a  party 
or  a  politician,  mercenaries  who  are  in  politics  for  revenue  only.  Originally 
the  word  had  no  political  significance,  but  was  applied  to  an  accomplice  of 
the  pocket-book  dropper.  The  heeler  stoops  behind  the  victim  and  strikes 
one  of  his  heels  as  if  by  mistake,  so  drawing  his  attention  to  the  pocket-book 
lying  on  the  ground.  If  he  stoops  to  pick  it  up,  the  heeler  steps  forward  to 
claim  half  the  contents,  but  agrees  to  waive  his  claim  on  payment  of  ten  or 
twenty  dollars.  The  dupe,  having  assured  himself  that  the  dummy  is  stuffed 
with  bank-bills,  gladly  acquiesces.  _  Of  course  the  bank-bills  turn  out  to  be 
counterfeits. 

Heir  apparent,  Heir  presumptive.  Considerable  popular  misappre- 
hension exists  as  to  the  use  of  these  terms.  The  difference  between  an  heir 
apparent  and  an  heir  presumptive  is  that  the  heir  apparent  must  succeed  if 
he  survives  the  present  holder  of  the  dignity,  while  an  heir  presumptive, 
although  the  heir  at  the  moment,  is  liable  to  have  his  right  to  the  succes- 
sion defeated  by  the  birth  of  another  heir.  There  cannot,  therefore,  be  at 
the  same  time  an  heir  apparent  and  an  heir  presumptive.  The  Prince  of 
Wales,  for  example,  is  always  the  heir  apparent  to  the  throne.  Should  there 
of  no  Prince  of  Wales, — i.e..,  if  the  reigning  monarch  have  no  sons, — then  the 
nearest  heir  in  the  legitimate  succession  becomes  the  heir  presumptive,  his 
or  her  right  to  the  succession  being  always  liable  to  be  defeated  by  the 
birth  of  a  direct  heir  to  the  monarch. 

Heir  of  the  Republic.  A  sobriquet  for  Napoleon  I.,  from  the  fact  that 
he,  "the  plebeian  child  of  the  Revolution,"  by  a  bold  coup  d'etat  overthrew 
the  Directory  and  made  himself  First  Consul  with  sovereign  powers  in  1799. 
With  his  assumption  of  the  title  of  Emperor  in  1801  vanished  the  last 
shadow  of  republican  government  in  France. 

u  39 


458  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Hell  and  Tommy,  To  play,  an  English  proverbial  expression  for  violence 
or  outrage,  sometimes  held  to  be  a  corruption  of  Hal  and  Tommy,  Hal  being 
the  diminutive  of  Henry.  "The  Henry  here  meant,"  says  a  truculent  con- 
tributor to  N'otes  and  Queries  (second  series,  xii.  167),  "  is  the  remorseless  brute 
Henry  VHL,  and  Tommy  is  Thomas  Lord  Cromwell,  the  tyrant's  congenial 
agent  in  seizing  and  rifling  the  religious  houses  and  turning  out  their  helpless 
occupants  to  starve."  But  perhaps  a  likelier  origin  is  suggested  by  another 
correspondent, — i.e.,  that  it  is  a  corruption  of  "  Hell  and  Damn  me." 

Hell  is  paved  ■w^ith  good  intentions,  the  English  version  of  a  proverb 
found  in  most  modern  languages,  which  is  vastly  improved  in  the  German 
form,  "The  road  to  perdition  is  paved  with  good  intentions."  The  Scotch 
equivalent  is  neat  and  epigrammatic  :  "  Hopers  go  to  hell."  Both  in  the  Ger- 
man and  the  Scotch  the  obvious  moral  is  that  good  intentions,  not  carried  out, 
smooth  the  sinner's  road  to  destruction  ;  that  the  very  fact  of  well-meaning, 
offered  as  an  excuse  for  ill-doing,  blinds  him  to  his  danger.  Dr.  Johnson 
quoted  the  proverb  in  its  present  form  (Boswei.l  :  Life,  annus  1775),  and  in 
Herbert's  "  Jacula  Prudentum"  it  is  given  thus  :  "  Hell  is  full  of  good  mean- 
ings and  wishes." 


I  well  intended  to  have  written  from  Ireland,  but,  alas !  as  some  stem  old  divine  says, 
"  Hell  is  paved  with  good  intentions."  There  was  ...  so  much  to  be  seen,  and  so  little 
time  to  see  it,  so  much  to  be  heard,  and  only  two  ears  to  listen  to  twenty  voices,  that,  on  the 
whole,  I  grew  desperate,  and  gave  up  all  thoughts  of  doing  what  was  right  and  proper  on 
post-days,  and  so  all  my  epistolary  good  intentions  are  gone  to  macadamize,  I  suppose,  the 
"  burning  marie"  of  the  infernal  regions.— SiK  Walter  Scott  :  Letter  to  Miss  Joanna 
BaiUie,  October  12,  1825. 

Hell  of  a  time,  a  profane  Americanism,  which  may  mean  either  a  very 
good  time  or  a  very  bad  time,  but  is  usually  used  in  the  first  sense.  A  famous 
story  in  which  it  is  embodied  tells  how  the  owner  of  two  pets — one  a  parrot, 
the  other  a  monkey — returns  home  one  day  to  find  the  monkey  decked  with 
red  and  green  feathers.  But  at  first  he  cannot  find  the  bird  at  all.  At  last 
it  hops  out  of  a  corner,  stripped  bare  save  for  a  single  tail-feather,  gets  upon 
its  perch  with  such  dignity  as  it  can  muster,  and  says,  "  Oh,  we  have  had  a 
hell  of  a  time."  Hence  "  a  monkey  and  parrot  time"  is  a  common  euphe- 
mism for  "a  hell  of  a  time." 

Hell  to  ears  polite.  Among  Pope's  "  Moral  Essays,"  the  fourth  epistle 
is  addressed  to  Richard  Boyle,  and  is  mainly  devoted  to  exposing  false  taste 
in  buildings,  in  gardening,  in  books,  in  prayer,  and  in  preaching,  the  latter 
fault  being  thus  exemplified  : 

And  now  the  chapel's  silver  bell  you  hear. 
That  summons  you  to  all  the  pride  of  prayer; 
Light  quirks  of  music,  broken  and  uneven, 
Make  the  soul  dance  upon  a  jig  to  heaven. 
On  painted  ceilings  you  devoutly  stare, 
Where  sprawl  the  saints  of  Verrio  or  Laguerre, 
Or  gilded  clouds  in  fair  extension  lie. 
And  bring  all  paradise  before  your  eye. 
To  rest,  the  cushion  and  soft  dean  invite. 
Who  never  mentions  hell  to  ears  polite. 

The  last  line  is  in  allusion  to  a  story  related  by  Tom  Brown  in  his  "  Eaconics  :" 
"In  the  reign  of  Charles  II.  a  certain  worthy  divine  at  Whitehall  thus  ad- 
dressed himself  to  the  auditory  at  the  conclusion  of  his  sermon  :  '  In  short, 
if  you  don't  live  up  to  the  precepts  of  the  gospel,  but  abandon  yourselves  to 
your  irregular  appetites,  you  must  expect  to  receive  your  reward  in  a  certain 
place  which  'tis  not  good  manners  to  mention  here.'" 

Hempe  is  spun,  When.     Lord  Bacon  has  this  reference  :  "  The  trivial 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  459 

prophety  which  I  heard  when  I  was  a  child,  and  Queen  Elizabeth  was  in  the 
flower  of  her  years,  was, — 

When  hempe  is  spunne, 

England's  done ; 
whereby  it  was  generally  conceived  that  after  the  princes  had  reigned  which 
had  the  principal  letters  of  the  word  '  hempe'  (which  were  Henry,  Edward, 
Mary,  Philip,  and  Elizabeth),  England  should  come  to  utter  confusion  ;  which, 
thanks  be  to  God,  is  verified  only  in  the  change  of  the  name."  ^Essays:  Of 
Prophecies.)  With  the  accession  of  James  I.  the  style  of  the  king  was  no 
longer  "  King  of  England,"  but  became  "  King  of  Great  Britain." 

Hero.  The  famous  phrase,  "  No  man  is  a  hero  to  his  valet-de-chambre" 
has  been  attributed  to  Madame  de  Sevigne,  and,  on  the  authority  of  Made- 
moiselle Aisse,  to  Madame  Cornuel  ^Letters,  p.  i6i,  Paris,  1853) ;  but  Marshal 
Catinat  (1637-1712)  had  already  said,  "A  man  must  be  indeed  a  hero  to  ap- 
pear such  in  the  eyes  of  his  valet ;"  La  Bruyere,  "  Rarely  do  great  men  appear 
great  before  their  valets  ;"  and  Montaigne,  "  Many  a  man  has  seemed  to  the 
world  to  be  a  miracle  in  whom  his  wife  and  his  valet  have  not  even  seen  anything 
remarkable.  Few  men  have  been  admired  by  their  servants.  The  experie'nce 
of  history  says  that  no  one  has  been  a  prophet  in  his  own  house,  or  even  in 
his  own  country."  ^^Essays,  iii.  2.)  All  these  sayings  were,  however,  antici- 
pated by  Antigonus  I.,  King  of  Sparta,  who,  when  Hermodotus  in  his  poems 
had  described  him  as  a  god  and  son  of  Helios  (the  sun),  observed,  "This  will 
be  news  to  my  body-servant." 

In  his  "  Wahlvervvandtschaften,"  2.  Theil,  5.  Kap.,  Goethe  refers  to  the  prov- 
erb, and  says  that  this  is  merely  because  a  hero  can  only  be  recognized  by  a 
hero,  and  that  the  valet  would  probably  know  how  to  estimate  his  fellows. 
But  Schopenhauer  contends  that  the  proverb  is  true,  because  no  man  is  really 
great. 

In  the  following  quotation  Carlyle  repeats  Goethe's  mot: 

Heroes,  it  would  seem,  exist  always,  and  a  certain  worship  of  them  !  We  will  also  take 
the  liberty  to  deny  altogether  that  saying  of  the  witty  Frenchman,  that  no  man  is  a  hero  to  his 
valet-de-chambre.  Or,  if  so,  it  is  not  the  hero's  blame,  but  the  valet's  :  that  his  soul,  namely, 
is  a  mean  valet-'i,a\i\ !  He  expects  his  hero  to  advance  in  royal  stage-trappings,  with  measured 
step,  trains  borne  behind  him,  trumpets  sounding  before  him.  It  should  stand,  rather.  No 
man  can  be  a  Grand-Monarque  to  his  valet-de-chambre.  Strip  your  Louis  Quatorze  of  his 
king-gear,  and  there  is  left  nothing  but  a  forked  radish  with  a  head  fantastically  carved  ; 
admirable  to  no  valet.  The  valet  does  not  know  a  hero  when  he  sees  him  !  Alas,  no ;  it  re- 
quires a  kind  of  Hero  to  do  that ;  and  one  of  the  world's  wants,  in  this  as  in  other  senses, 
is  for  most  part  want  of  such. —  The  Hero  as  Man  of  Letters. 

Hickory,  Old.  A  sobriquet  of  Andrew  Jackson,  said  to  have  been  con- 
ferred upon  him  by  the  soldiers  under  his  command  in  1813.  It  was,  Mr. 
Parton  tells  us,  not  an  inspiration,  but  a  growth.  "  First  of  all,  the  remark 
was  made  by  some  soldier  who  was  struck  by  his  commander's  pedestrian 
powers  that  the  general  was  '  tough.'  Next  it  was  observed  that  he  was 
tough  as  hickory.  Then  he  was  called  Hickory.  Lastly,  the  affectionate  ad- 
jective '  old'  was  prefixed,  and  the  general  thenceforth  rejoiced  in  the  com- 
plete nickname,  usually  the  first-won  honor  of  a  great  commander."  The 
general,  however,  is  said  to  have  told  the  following  story  of  the  origin  of  the 
epithet  to  one  of  his  messmates.  During  the  Creek  War,  when  he  was  suf- 
fering from  a  bad  cold,  his  officers  improvised  a  tent  for  him,  covered  with 
flakes  of  hickory-bark,  under  which  he  slept  comfortably.  Next  morning  a 
drunken  hanger-on  of  the  camp  came  across  the  tent,  and,  not  knowing  who 
was  in  it,  gave  it  a  kick  that  tumbled  the  structure  over.  As  the  angry  old  hero 
struggled  out  of  the  ruins,  the  toper  cried  out,  "  Hello  !  Old  Hickory  !  come 
out  of  your  bark  and  join  us  in  a  drink."  The  general  could  not  help  join- 
ing in  the  laughter  at  the  incident.     As  he  rose  and  shook  the  bark  from  him 


46o  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

he  looked  so  tough  and  stern  that  the  spectators  gave  him  a  hearty  "  Hurrah 
for  Old  Hickory  !"  and  the  name  clung  to  him  ever  after. 

Highbinder,  a  ruffian,  a  rowdy,  one  of  a  gang  that  commits  ruffianly  out- 
rages "  for  fun."  They  were  known  by  this  name  in  New  York  and  Baltimore 
previous  to  1849.  According  to  a  later  and  now  the  more  common  meaning, 
it  is  a  name  for  one  of  a  gang  of  Chinese  criminals,  supposed  to  exist  in  Cali- 
fornia, constituting  a  secret  conclave,  associated  for  the  purpose  of  blackmail, 
and  even  assassination,  in  the  interest  and  pay  of  other  societies  or  indi- 
viduals. 

High-Jinks,  now  meaning,  generally,  a  mad  frolic  or  great  fun,  was  origi- 
nally an  old  Scotch  game,  somewhat  like  forfeits,  the  penalties  going  to  pay 
the  reckoning  for  drinks.  This  was  written  "  hy-jinks,"  and  is  probably  de- 
rived from  hy,  "haste"  (A.-S.  hige),  and //«/(•,  to  "dodge,"  "cheat,"  or  "make 
believe." 

Aften  in  Maggy's  at  hy-jinks, 

We  guzzled  scuds, 
Till  we  could  scarce,  wi'  hale  out-drinks. 
Cast  off  our  duds. 

Ramsay:  Elegy  on  Maggie  Johnston  (1711). 

The  frolicsome  company  had  begun  to  practise  the  ancient  and  now  forgotten  pastime  of 
High-Jinks.  The  game  was  played  in  several  different  ways.  Most  frequently  the  dice  were 
thrown  by  the  company,  and  those  upon  whom  the  lot  fell  were  obliged  to  assume  and  main- 
tain for  a  time  a  certain  fictitious  character,  or  to  repeat  a  certain  number  of  fescennine  verses 
in  a  particular  order.  If  they  departed  from  the  character  assigned,  they  incurred  forfeits, 
which  were  compounded  for  by  swallowing  an  additional  bumper. — Sir  W.  Scott  :  Guy 
Mannering,  chap,  xxxvi. 

High-minded  Federalists.  After  the  defeat  of  the  coalition  between 
the  Clintonians  and  the  Federalists  in  the  State  of  New  York  in  18 15,  the  bulk 
of  the  latter  went  over  bodily  to  the  Clintonians.  A  small  faction,  however, 
continued  in  opposition,  and  in  the  political  campaign  of  1820  were  laughed 
out  of  countenance  for  their  frequent  reference  to  themselves  as  "high- 
minded"  men,  and  derisively  called  by  the  above  appellative.  From  the  latter 
date  the  Federalists,  as  a  political  party  in  the  State,  became  practically  ex- 
tinct. 

Higher  la"W.  "There  is  a  higher  law  than  the  Constitution."  An  appeal 
to  a  higher  law  had  long  been  familiar  in  Northern  pulpits  ;  but  the  use  of  the 
term  in  the  above  phrase  by  Senator  William  H.  Seward,  in  his  speech  on 
the  admission  of  California  as  a  State  (March  11,  1850),  first  brought  it  into 
prominence  and  made  it  popular  in  the  political  arena.  It  was  adopted  by 
the  Abolitionists  when  they  found  that  their  plans  were  obstructed  by  existing 
laws,  and  used  by  them  with  telling  effect.  Appeals  to  a  superior  rule  as 
binding  on  the  collective  conscience  of  the  nation,  something  higher  than 
constitutions  or  laws  or  public  policy,  are  not  infrequent  in  American  politics. 
Thus,  Wendell  Phillips,  in  his  speech  on  the  election  of  Lincoln  to  the  Presi- 
dency, November  7,  i860,  said,  "  When  Infinite  Wisdom  established  the  rules 
of  right  and  honesty,  he  saw  to  it  that  justice  should  always  be  the  highest 
expediency."  (See  Fiat  Justitia.) 

Hindoos.  A  nickname  applied  in  1856  to  the  Know-Nothings,  from  the 
fact  that  their  leader  and  candidate  for  President,  Daniel  Ulman,  was  alleged 
to  have  been  born  in  Calcutta. 

Hindsight,  an  American  colloquialism,  the  antithesis  of  foresight,  and 
meaning  wisdom  after  the  event,  as  the  latter  does  before  the  event.  The 
invention  of  the  word  in  this  sense  is  attributed  to  Henry  Ward  Beecher,  in  the 
phrase,  "  I  wish  that  our  hindsight  were  equal  to  our  foresight."     The  word 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  461 

hind-sight  had  already  been  in  existence  to  signify  the  back-sight  of  a  gun,  but 

was  probably  not  known  to  Beecher. 

Hippocratic  Oath,  a  solemn  engagement  after  a  comprehensive  formula, 
said  to  have  been  prescribed  by  Hippocrates  himself,  entered  into  in  ancient 
times  by  young  men  about  to  commence  the  practice  of  medicine.  It  deals 
with  the  whole  tenor  of  the  morals  of  the  asseverator,  and  endeavors  to  secure 
the  utmost  purity  in  this  respect,  but  particularly  binds  him  in  the  most  rigorous 
manner  to  the  practice  of  his  profession  on  high  principles  of  humanity  and 
honor,  and  pledges  him  to  a  most  disinterested  and  exalted  brotherhood 
with  all  those  connected  legitimately  with  the  practice  of  the  healing  art,  and 
to  acts  of  kindness  towards  their  children. 

History,  The  incredibility  of.  When  Sir  Robert  Walpole  was  asked 
what  he  would  have  read  to  him,  he  replied,  "  Not  history,  for  I  know  that  to 
be  false."  Charles  Kingsley  gave  up  his  chair  of  Modern  History  at  Oxford 
because  he  said  he  considered  history  "  largely  a  lie."  Napoleon  termed  it  a 
fable  agreed  upon.  Dumas  called  it  left-handed  truth.  It  is  said  that  Raleigh, 
having  failed  in  an  endeavor  to  ascertain  the  rights  of  a  quarrel  that  fell  out 
beneath  his  window,  exclaimed  against  his  own  folly  in  endeavoring  to  write 
the  true  history  of  the  world.  But  this  very  anecdote  has  been  doubted,  and 
so  casts  another  shadow  upon  the  credibility  of  accepted  facts.  A  similar 
story  is  told  of  Leopold  von  Ranke.  While  collecting  facts  for  his  history,  a 
singular  accident  occurred  in  his  native  town.  A  bridge  broke  down,  and 
some  persons  were  swept  away  by  the  river.  Von  Ranke  inquired  into  the 
details  of  the  catastrophe.  "  I  saw  the  bridge  fall,"  said  one  of  the  neighbors  : 
"a  heavy  cart  had  just  passed  over  and  weakened  it.  Two  men  were  on  it 
when  it  fell,  and  a  soldier  on  a  white  horse."  "  I  saw  it  fall,"  declared  an- 
other, "  but  the  cart  had  passed  over  it  two  hours  previous.  The  foot-passen- 
gers were  children,  and  the  rider  was  a  civilian  on  a  black  horse."  "  Now," 
argued  Von  Ranke,  "if  it  is  impossible  to  learn  the  truth  about  an  accident 
which  happened  at  broad  noonday  only  twenty-four  hours  ago,  how  can  I 
declare  any  fact  to  be  certain  which  is  shrouded  in  the  darkness  of  ten  cen- 
turies ?" 

Contemporaries  even  differ  about  facts  that  should  be  self-evident, — about 
the  physical  characteristics  of  their  best  friends.  In  1S88  a  discussion  was 
carried  on.  in  Notes  and  Queries  whether  Mr.  Gladstone  had  a  provincial 
accent.  Members  of  Parliament  who  constantly  heard  him  speak  could  not 
agree.  Some  said  his  speech  was  a  perfect  specimen  of  the  English  of  the 
latter  part  of  the  nineteenth  century,  others  that  he  had  an  accent  of  Lan- 
cashire, where  he  was  born,  and  others  that  he  had  a  Scotch  accent,  derived 
from  his  parents.  After  the  death  of  Sir  Henry  Maine,  the  St.  Ja/nes  Gazette, 
on  the  testimony  of  some  of  Sir  Henry's  friends  "  who  knew  him  intimately 
and  long,"  challenged  the  statement  made  in  the  Saturday  Review's  obituary 
that  he  had  a  rather  tall  and  well-proportioned  figure.  The  St.  James  Gazette 
acknowledged  that  the  notice  of  Sir  Henry  was  written  by  one  who  fead  lived 
on  terms  of  the  closest  intimacy  and  friendship  with  the  deceased  jurist  for 
more  than  thirty  years,  "and  who  must,  therefore,  have  known  him  as  well 
as  one  man  can  ever  know  another."  Yet  it  asserts  that  Sir  Henry's  figure, 
far  from  being  rather  tall,  was  rather  short, — "in  fact,  was  that  of  a  man 
slightly  below  the  middle  height."  It  will  be  remembered  that  Louis  XIV., 
whom  his  courtiers  either  believed  or  pretended  to  believe  a  tall  man,  was 
absolutely  diminutive  in  stature.  The  friends  of  Mrs.  Browning  could  not 
agree  as  to  the  color  of  her  hair.  Hawthorne  described  it  as  black,  and 
Bayard  Taylor  as  chestnut ;  Mr.  John  Bigelow  said  that  it  was  of  a  dark 
chestnut,  and  Mr.  Cephas  G.  Thompson,  the  painter,  that  it  was  dark  brown, 

39* 


463  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

almost  black.  No  wonder  Hawthorne  wrote  in  his  "  Note-Books,"  "  Every 
day  of  my  life  makes  me  feel  more  and  more  how  seldom  a  fact  is  accurately 
stated ;  how,  almost  invariably,  when  a  story  has  passed  through  the  mind 
of  a  third  person  it  becomes,  so  far  as  regards  the  impression  that  it  makes 
in  further  repetitions,  little  better  than  a  falsehood,  and  this,  too,  though  the 
narrator  be  the  most  truth-seeking  person  in  existence.  How  marvellous  the 
tendency  is  !  ...  Is  truth  a  fantasy  which  we  are  to  pursue  forever  and  never 
grasp .?" 

Possibly  Hawthorne  may  have  heard  of  the  game  called  Russian  Scandal, 
which  is  played  in  this  fashion.  A  tells  a  story  to  13,  B  repeats  it  to  C,  C  to 
D,  and  so  on.  Each  is  to  aim  at  scrupulous  accuracy  in  repetition.  Yet  by  the 
time  the  story  has  been  transmitted  from  mouth  to  mouth  six  or  seven  times 
it  has  undergone  a  complete  transformation.  And  the  popular  poem  of  "The 
Three  Black  Crows"  versifies  a  somewhat  similar  idea. 

The  modern  historical  investigator  has  succeeded  in  shattering  our  faith  in 
a  large  portion  of  what  to  our  grandfathers  was  received  historical  truth. 
When  so  much  of  the  fabric  is  gone,  our  belief  in  the  rest  is  unpleasantly 
leavened  with  suspicion.  Until  about  the  middle  of  the  eighteenth  century, 
the  earlier  Greek  and  Roman  history  was  as  implicitly  believed  as  the  later, 
and  from  its  picturesque  character  sank  even  deeper  into  the  mind.  But 
Niebuhr  and  Sir  George  Cornewall  Lewis  completed  the  ruin  which  earlier 
doubters  had  begun. 

There  is  no  evidence  that  Romulus  ever  lived,  that  Tarquin  outraged 
Lucretia,  that  Brutus  shammed  idiocy  and  condemned  his  sons  to  death,  that 
Mucins  Scaevola  thrust  his  hand  into  the  fire,  that  Cloelia  swam  the  Tiber,  that 
Horatius  defended  a  bridge  against  an  army.  Coriolanus  never  allowed  his 
mother  to  intercede  for  Rome.  The  number  of  Xerxes'  army  has  been 
grossly  exaggerated,  and  it  was  not  stopped  at  Thermopylae  by  three  hundred 
Spartans,  but  by  seven  thousand,  or  even,  as  some  authors  compute,  twelve 
thousand.  The  siege  of  Troy  is  largely  a  myth,  and,  even  according  to 
Homer's  own  account,  Helen  must  have  been  sixty  years  old  when  Paris  fell 
in  love  with  her.  Nay,  other  sceptics  have  attacked  the  credibility  of  the 
later  Greek  and  Roman  history.  They  have  deprived  Diogenes  of  his  tub, 
Sappho  of  her  lover,  Rhodes  of  its  Colossus.  They  have  asserted  that  Portia 
did  not  swallow  burning  coals,  that  Caesar  never  crossed  the  Rubicon,  that  he 
never  said  to  the  pilot,  "  You  carry  Caesar  and  his  fortunes,"  nor  cried  out, 
"Et  tu.  Brute  !"  as  he  fell  at  the  base  of  Pompey's  statua,  that  Philip  never 
told  Alexander,  "  Seek  another  kingdom,  for  Macedon  is  too  small  for  thee." 
Chemists  have  proved  that  vinegar  will  not  dissolve  pearls  nor  cleave  rocks, 
in  spite  of  the  fabled  exploits  of  Cleopatra  and  Hannibal.  Nero  was  not  a 
monster,  he  did  not  kill  his  mother,  nor  fiddle  over  burning  Rome.  Tiberius 
was  a  pretty  good  fellow.  And,  indeed,  all  the  Roman  emperors  who  were 
successfully  put  out  of  the  way  were  hardly  treated  by  servile  historians  who 
sought  to  cater  to  the  popular  taste. 

Was  Pharaoh  drowned  in  the  Red  Sea  at  the  crossing  of  the  Israelites? 
This  question  has  troubled  many  Biblical  scholars,  and  is  still  unsettled.  The  ' 
account  in  Exodus  says  nothing  of  the  destruction  of  the  king  in  person, 
though  the  passage  "overthrew  Pharaoh  and  his  host  in  the  Red  Sea"  (Psalm 
cxxxvi.  15)  seems  to  imply  that  Pharaoh  perished  with  his  army.  Charles  S. 
Robinson,  in  his  "  Pharaohs  of  the  Bondage  and  the  Exodus,"  leans,  however, 
to  the  contrary  opinion.  It  is  curious  that  the  manner  of  the  death  of 
Menephtha  (son  of  Rameses  II.),  with  whom  the  Pharaoh  of  the  Exodus  is 
now  usually  identified,  is  not  recorded  in  profane  history,  that  his  mummy 
has  never  been  found,  and  that  there  is  no  evidence  that  it  ever  lay  in  his 
tomb  at  Thebes. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  463 

Even  modern  European  history  has  been  discredited.  Arthur  is  undoubt- 
edly a  fable.  Charlemagne  has  been  so  beclouded  by  legend  that  it  is  difficult 
to  separate  the  true  from  the  false  ;  but  it  is  quite  certain  that  his  paladins 
are  as  mythical  as  Arthur's  knights.  Alfred  never  allowed  the  cakes  to  burn, 
nor  ventured  into  the  Danish  camp  disguised  as  a  minstrel.  Rufus  did  not  die 
of  an  arrow  shot  at  him  by  mistake  by  Tyrrel.  Queen  Eleanor  did  not  suck 
poison  from  her  husband's  wound.  Richard  III.  was  not  a  hunchback,  and 
was  not  wicked,  according  to  Walpole.  Henry  VIII.,  according  to  Froude, 
was  a  saint-like  personage,  who,  by  destiny  rather  than  choice,  became  a  sort 
of  professional  widower.  The  infamous  Lucrezia  Borgia  is  declared  by 
Roscoe,  the  English  historian,  and  by  Mr.  Astor,  of  New  York,  to  have  been 
a  good  and  much-maligned  woman.  The  famous  Sappho  did  not  throw  her- 
self from  the  Leucadian  Cliff  for  love  of  Phaon,  nor  did  she  live  a  lewd  life, 
but  married  and  lived  respectably  and  respected,  according  to  the  German 
writer  Welcker,  who  wrote  a  book  to  prove  her  innocence.  Bishop  Thirlwall 
and  Lord  Lytton  both  believed  in  the  purity  of  her  character.  Fair  Rosa- 
mond was  not  poisoned  by  Queen  Eleanor,  but  died  in  the  odor  of  sanctity 
in  the  convent  of  Godstow.  Blondel,  the  harper,  did  not  discover  the  prison 
in  which  Richard  I.  was  confined.  Charles  IX.  did  not  fire  upon  the  Hugue- 
nots with  an  arquebuse  from  the  window  of  the  Louvre  during  the  Massacre 
of  St.  Bartholomew.  Charles  V.  did  not  celebrate  his  own  obsequies  in 
his  lifetime.  Clarence  was  never  drowned  in  a  butt  of  malmsey,  nor  was 
Richard  II.  starved  to  death  in  Pontefract  Castle.  Pocahontas  never  saved 
John  Smith,  and  Washington  never  cut  down  the  cherry-tree.  The  story 
of  Abelard  and  Heloi'se  has  been  strongly  doubted,  and  a  question  has  even 
been  raised  as  to  whether  Joan  of  Arc  ever  suffered  the  punishment  that 
made  her  a  martyr,  though  details  of  her  execution  and  last  moments  are 
found  in  the  civic  records  of  Rouen.  Charles  Monselet  quotes  a  paragraph 
from  the  iMcrciire  of  1683  announcing  that  certain  documents  recently  dis- 
covered led  to  the  conclusion  that  Joan  of  Arc  had  been  married,  and  that 
some  unfortunate  victim  must  have  been  sacrificed  in  her  place  in  Rouen. 
The  documents  consisted  of  an  attestation  made  by  Father  Riguer  to  the 
effect  that  "  five  years  after  the  judgment  of  Joan  of  Arc,  on  the  twentieth 
day  of  May,  Joan  the  Maid  visited  Metz.  On  the  same  day  her  brothers  called 
to  see  her.  They  thought  she  had  been  burned,  but  when  they  saw  her  they 
recognized  her  at  once.  They  took  her  with  them  to  Boquelon."  The  old 
priest  added  as  a  proof  of  what  he  had  advanced  a  copy  of  the  original  con- 
tract of  marriage  between  "  Robert  des  Armoyses  and  Joan  of  Arc,  otherwise 
known  as  the  Maid  of  Orleans." 

Scientific  historians  have  established  beyond  the  shadow  of  a  doubt  that 
the  Swiss  Confederation  was  not  founded  by  William  Tell,  as  the  chroniclers 
would  have  us  believe.  His  name  cannot  be  found  in  the  archives  of  any  of 
the  cantons.  The  story  of  his  famous  shot  is  full  of  discrepancies,  especially 
as  regards  the  bailiff  Gessler,  and,  what  is  now  considered  conclusive  proof 
of  his  legendary  character,  at  least  six  similar  episodes  have  been  discovered 
in  the  mythical  histories  or  the  ballads  of  Teutonic  nations.  Denmark,  Ice- 
land, Holstein,  England,  the  Rhine  country,  and  Norway,  as  well  as  Switzerland, 
have  their  William  Tell,  under  another  name,  and  surrounded  by  different 
geographical  features,  to  be  sure,  but  nevertheless  in  every  case  possessing 
the  same  essential  points  of  resemblance.  The  traditional  archer  has,  there- 
fore, been  abandoned  by  all  serious  historians  as  the  founder  of  the  Swiss 
Confederation. 

The  story  of  Madcap  Henry  and  the  chief  justice  has  been  immortalized 
by  Shakespeare.  The  story  is  that  Henry  was  arrested  for  disorderly  conduct, 
and  was  brought  before  Sir  William  Gascoigne,  whom  he  either  insulted  or 


464  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

struck,  whereupon  he  was  committed  to  prison.  On  ascending  the  throne, 
one  of  his  first  acts  was  to  reappoint  the  courageous  judge  to  his  place  as 
chief  justice.  But  it  is  established  beyond  controversy  that  Sir  William  Gas- 
coigne  was  not  reappointed  by  Henry  V.,  and  the  entire  story  did  not  make 
its  appearance  until  nearly  a  century  and  a  half  after  the  occurrence  is  said  to 
have  taken  place.  It  was  first  told  in  1534  by  one  Sir  Thomas  Elyot,  who  gives 
no  authority  whatever.  Yet  compilers,  with  the  credulity  of  their  class,  have 
accepted  his  statements,  and,  one  after  the  other,  have  transferred  the  anec- 
dote to  their  pages  without  a  moment's  hesitation  or  examination.  Indeed, 
all  the  stories  of  Henry's  roystering  youth  and  of  his  consequent  estrangement 
from  his  father  have  been  disproved  by  documentary  evidence.  Year  after 
year,  from  the  very  date  when  the  prince  was  first  appointed  to  office  down  to 
the  time  of  the  death  of  King  Henry  IV.,  we  find  entries  upon  the  rolls  of 
the  kingdom  proving  that  the  son  was  in  council  with  the  father  and  enjoyed 
his  confidence  and  affection. 

The  story  of  Bonnivard,  as  it  is  given  in  Byron's  poem  "The  Prisoner  of 
Chillon,"  and  accepted  by  the  reading  world,  is  almost  entirely  imaginary. 
Instead  of  losing  one  brother  by  fire,  two  in  the  field,  and  two  by  death  in  the 
dungeon,  the  fact  is  that  there  is  no  evidence  that  he  had  any  brothers  at  all, 
and  none  that  his  father  died  for  his  faith.  Byron  himself  acknowledges  that 
he  was  unacquainted  with  the  history  of  Bonnivard  when  he  wrote  the  poem. 
He  subsequently  wrote  a  sonnet  to  his  hero,  in  which  he  represents  him  as  a 
high-minded  patriot  appealing  "from  tyranny  to  God,"  and  this  character  has 
sometimes  been  ascribed  to  him  by  historians.  In  plain  truth,  there  was  little 
of  the  heroic  about  Bonnivard.  He  was  simply  a  good-natured  scatter-brain, 
whose  high  animal  spirits  and  graceless  wit  were  continually  getting  him  into 
trouble  ;  and  he  seems  to  have  employed  the  six  years  of  his  imprisonment 
chiefly  in  making  immoral  verses. 

One  of  the  most  famous  of  historical  edifices  is  the  Bridge  of  Sighs  in 
Venice,  which  connects  the  Doge's  palace  with  the  state  prisons.  The  name 
was  popularly  given  it  through  what  Howells  calls  "that  opulence  of  com- 
passion which  enables  the  Italians  to  pity  even  rascality  in  difficulties."  For, 
in  spite  of  Byron,  it  cannot  be  associated  with  any  romantic  episode  of  history 
except  the  story  of  Antonio  P'oscarini,  since  it  was  not  built  until  the  end  of 
the  sixteenth  century,  and  the  prisoners  who  passed  across  it  to  judgment  were 
mere  vulgar  criminals,  such  as  thieves  and  murderers. 

The  famous  Round  Tower  at  Newport,  which  popular  tradition,  confirmed 
by  the  genius  of  Longfellow,  has  associated  with  the  vikings,  is  but  an  ordinary 
windmill.  The  Maelstrom  is  an  insignificant  eddy.  The  car  of  Juggernaut 
does  noc  crush  believers  under  its  wheels,  except  in  rare  cases  of  accident. 

Not  many  years  ago  the  mill  of  Sans  Souci  which  the  miller  refused  to  sell 
to  Frederick  the  Great  was  brought  down  with  a  crash  by  the  Historical 
Society  of  Potsdam.  With  it  disappeared  the  lawsuit  of  which  the  mill  is 
traditionally  believed  to  have  been  made  the  subject,  and  the  judges  of  such 
perfect  integrity  that  they  refused  to  decide  unjustly  in  favor  of  the  king. 
The  germ  of  the  story  lies  in  Dr.  Zimmermann's  highly  imaginary  "Conver- 
sations with  Frederick  the  Great."  All  he  says  about  the  mill  is  that  it  inter- 
fered with  the  king's  view  from  the  orangery,  that  his  majesty  wished  to  buy 
it,  and  that  the  miller  refused  to  sell.  The  poet  Hebel  to  Zimmermann's 
supposed  fact  added  his  own  story  of  the  lawsuit.  But  the  mill  could  not  by 
its  position  have  interfered  with  Frederick's  view  from  the  orangery,  and  the 
records  of  the  Berlin  tribunals  contain  no  mention  of  the  action  of  ejectment 
which  the  king  is  held  to  have  brought  against  his  intractable  subject. 

The  crew  of  Le  Vengeur,  instead  of  going  down  with  the  cry  of  "  Vive  la 
Republique  !"  shrieked  for  help,  and  many  were   saved  in  English  boats. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  465 

There  is  a  famous  story  that  both  Cromwell  and  Hampden,  despairing  of  the 
liberties  of  their  country,  had  embarked  for  New  England  in  163S,  when  they 
were  stopped  by  an  Order  of  Council.  That  an  expedition  was  so  stopped 
there  is  no  doubt,  but,  after  a  brief  delay,  it  was  permitted  to  proceed  with  its 
entire  freight  of  pilgrims.  Of  course  neither  Cromwell  nor  Hampden  was  on 
board.  There  is  a  foolish  story  that  Philip  HI.  of  Spain  when  almost  suf- 
focated by  the  heat  of  a  roaring  fire  felt  that  he  could  not  rise  from  his  chair 
without  wounding  his  dignity,  _that  no  one  could  dampen  the  fire,  because  the 
proper  official  did  not  happen  to  be  at  hand,  and  that  he  contracted  an  ery- 
sipelas of  the  head  which  carried  him  off.  The  story  has  been  gravely 
accepted  by  many  historians,  and  has  become  a  favorite  illustration  in  English 
literature.  Yet  historian  after  historian  has  shown  that  there  is  not  an  iota  of 
evidence  to  support  it, — that  it  is  simply  a  good  old  stock  tale  which  has  been 
related  of  many  monarchs  and  many  courts,  and  which  was  originally  a  pure 
invention. 

Historians  inform  us  that  wolves  were  entirely  extirpated  in  England  by 
the  Saxon  king  Edgar  ;  and  so  the  ingenuous  youth  of  the  day  are  in- 
structed in  their  historical  catechisms.  A  reference  to  Rymer's  "  Foedera" 
shows  that  these  unpleasant  natives  kept  their  footing  in  the  island  even  to 
the  reign  of  King  Edward  I.,  more  than  three  hundred  years  later:  "Anno 
9,  Edw.  Primi.  The  king  sent  an  injunction  to  the  sheriffs  of  Worcester- 
shire, Gloucestershire,  Herefordshire,  Shropshire,  and  Staffordshire,  reciting 
that  he  had  directed  Peter  de  Corbet  to  hunt  and  destroy  wolves  in  the  forests 
of  those  counties,  with  men,  dogs,  and  snares,  and  enjoining  said  sheriffs  to 
give  him  all  possible  assistance."  According  to  some  chroniclers,  Don  Carlos 
of  Spain,  who  was  secretly  put  to  death  by  his  father,  Philip  H.,  was  a  model 
of  youthful  perfection  and  exalted  heroism.  Poets,  dramatists,  and  anecdote- 
hunters  have  adopted  this  opinion  for  the  sake  of  a  romantic  subject.  If  we 
are  to  credit  a  contemporary  writer,  Brantome,  who,  thoug.h  a  little  free  in 
expression,  is  considered  faithful  and  accurate,  he  was  an  abandoned  profligate, 
an  insulter  of  everything  modest  and  decent ;  and  the  young  nobility  who 
kept  company  with  him  were  notorious  for  the  loose  depravity  of  their  lives, 
and  for  the  miserable  ends  to  which  they  were  brought  in  time.  The  account 
given  by  the  facetious  Frenchman  of  that  prince's  rambles  through  the  streets 
of  Madrid  is  more  humorous  than  edifying.  Hume  states  deliberately  that 
Charles  I.  slept  soundly  at  Whitehall  on  the  night  preceding  his  death,  undis- 
turbed by  the  noise  of  the  workmen  who  were  erecting  the  scaffold  ;  whereas 
it  is  certain  that  he  passed  his  last  night  at  St.  James's,  far  beyond  the 
sound  of  the  appalling  preparations,  and  walked  across  the  Park  in  the 
morning  to  the  place  of  execution.  Guy  Patin,  a  celebrated  French  physician 
and  litterateur,  affirms  that  Lord  Darnley  was  murdered  by  the  Puritans.  He 
also  bestows  several  laborious  pages  to  prove  that  Mohammed  was  never  a 
cardinal  at  Rome,  and  that  there  are  no  silver  grapes  in  Hungary. 

"  As  for  the  greater  number  of  the  stories  with  which  the  afta  are  stuffed," 
says  Voltaire,  "  including  all  those  humorous  replies  attributed  to  Charles  V., 
to  Henry  IV.,  to  a  hundred  modern  princes,  you  find  them  in  Athanasius  and 
in  our  old  authors.  It  is  in  this  sense  only  that  one  may  say,  '  Nil  sub  sole 
novum.' " 

It  will  be  remembered  that  upon  his  fourth  voyage  to  the  Western  world 
Columbus  was  wrecked  in  1504  on  the  island  of  Jamaica,  where  the  natives, 
it  is  said,  soon  wearied  of  supplying  him  with  provisions,  and  the  great  Chris- 
topher was  in  danger  of  starvation.  The  story,  as  it  used  to  be  told,  was 
that  the  explorer,  knowing  that  an  eclipse  of  tlie  moon  was  about  to  occur, 
informed  the  savages  that  the  Great  Spirit  was  much  displeased  by  their 
inhospitality,  and  would  indicate  his  displeasure  on  a  certain  night  bv  hiding 


466  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

the  face  of  the  moon.  Sure  enough,  at  the  appointed  time  the  moon  was 
darkened,  and  the  dismayed  aborigines  lost  no  time  in  glutting  the  provision- 
market.  The  story  is  a  pretty  one,  its  only  defect  being  that  no  eclipse 
occurred  anywhere  near  the  specified  time. 

Edouard  Fournier  in  France  and  Mr.  Hayward  in  England  have  shown  that 
almost  every  celebrated  historical  saying  has  either  in  course  of  time  and 
through  force  of  repetition  become  falsified,  or  had  from  the  beginning  been 
deliberately  invented.  Francis  I.  never  said  or  wrote  after  the  battle  of  Pavia, 
"  Everything  is  lost  save  honor."  In  a  letter  lo  his  mother  occurred  the  fol- 
lowing words  :  "  De  toutes  choses  ne  m'est  demeure  que  I'honneur  et  la  vie 
qui  est  saulvee."  The  current  version  may  be  traced  to  the  mistranslation  of 
the  Spanish  historian  Antonio  Devera  :  "  Madama,  todo  se  ha  perdido  sino  es 
la  honra." 

Henry  IV.  never  said  before  entering  Paris,  "  Paris  vaut  bien  une  messe." 
Philip  VI.,  flying  from  the  field  of  Crecy,  and  challenged  late  at  night  before 
the  gates  of  the  castle  of  Blois,  did  not  cry  out,  "  It  is  the  fortune  of  France." 
What  he  really  said  was,  "  Open,  open  ;  it  is  the  unfortunate  King  of  France," 
— a  version  which  strips  the  speech  of  all  its  grandeur.  Chateaubriand  had 
repeated  the  story  on  the  authority  of  Froissart,  and  when  Buchan,  the 
learned  editor  of  the  French  Chronicles,  suggested  the  propriety  of  a  correc- 
tion, Chateaubriand  refused  to  make  it. 

Other  Frenchmen  have  manifested  equal  indifference  to  strict  accuracy. 
When  Vertot,  who  had  just  finished  a  long  description  of  a  certain  siege,  was 
reminded  by  a  friend  that  no  such  siege  had  taken  place,  he  replied  with  a 
memorable  phrase,  "  Mon  siege  est  fait ;"  and  Voltaire,  on  being  asked  where 
he  had  heard  the  story  that  when  the  French  became  masters  of  Constanti- 
nople in  1204  they  danced  with  the  women  in  the  sanctuary  of  the  church  of 
Santa  Sophia,  replied,  calmly,  "  Nowhere ;  it  is  a  frolic  \espiiglerie\  of  my 
imagination." 

The  Duke  of  Wellington  at  Waterloo  never  uttered  the  famous  words,  "  Up, 
Guards,  and  at  them  !"  nor  did  General  Cambronne  say  anything  resembling 
"  The  Guard  dies  and  does  not  surrender,"  in  reference  to  the  attitude  of  the 
admirable  body  of  men  who  did  not  die  and  who  did  surrender. 

The  French  have  a  delight  in  mots  ;  no  event  seems  to  them  complete  with- 
out one,  and  they  eagerly  catch  up  every  invention.  The  Abbe  Edgeworth 
frankly  acknowledged  to  Lord  Holland  that  he  had  never  made  the  famous 
invocation  to  Louis  XVI.  on  the  scaffold,  "  Son  of  St.  Louis,  ascend  to 
heaven."  It  was  invented  for  him  on  the  evening  of  the  execution  by  the 
editor  of  a  newspaper.  Sieyes  indignantly  denied  that  when  the  fate  of 
Louis  XVI.  was  put  to  the  vote  he  exclaimed,  "  La  mort, — sans  phrase,"  or 
that  when  asked  what  he  did  during  the  Reign  of  Terror  he  made  answer, 
"  J'ai  vecu"  ("  I  lived"). 

But  the  French  is  not  the  only  nation  which  has  invented  historical  speeches. 
Pitt's  celebrated  reply  to  Walpole,  beginning,  "  The  atrocious  crime  of  being 
a  young  man,"  is  well  known  to  have  been  in  reality  composed  by  Dr.  John- 
son, who  was  not  even  present  when  the  actual  reply  was  spoken  ;  and  Home 
Tooke  wrote  the  speech  inscribed  on  the  pedestal  of  Beckford's  statue  at 
Guildhall  purporting  to  be  the  reply  extemporized  by  the  spirited  magistrate 
to  George  III. 

Talleyrand  was  continually  having  credited  to  him  the  good  things  said  of 
other  people.  He  was  often  much  astonished  by  these  compliments  to  his 
genius,  but  if  he  liked  the  saying  he  assumed  its  responsibility  without  hesi- 
tation. His  paternity  of  the  famous  "  It  is  the  beginning  of  the  end"  is 
doubted  by  Fournier.  The  still  more  famous  "Speech  was  given  to  man  to 
conceal  his  thoughts"  was  assigned  to  Talleyrand  in   the  "  Nain  Jaune"  by 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  467 

Harel,  who  in  this  case  was  not  only  a  forger  but  a  thief,  because,  as  the 
author  of  a  eulogy  on  Voltaire,  he  must  have  known  that  the  latter  wrote, 
"  Men  employ  speech  only  to  conceal  their  thoughts."  But,  indeed,  the  phrase 
can  be  traced  back  almost  as  far  as  Adam  and  Eve.  Talleyrand  was  even  so 
fortunate  as  to  be  credited  with  the  good  things  said  at  his  expense.  Thus, 
"  Who  would  not  adore  him,  he  is  so  vicious?"  was  said  by  Montrond  of 
him,  not  by  him  of  Montrond.  Again,  it  was  not  he  who,  to  the  sick  man 
complaining  that  he  suffered  the  tortures  of  the  damned,  curtly  exclaimed, 
"  Deja  !"  Louis  Blanc  says  that  when  Talleyrand  was  on  his  death-bed  Louis 
Philippe  asked  him  if  he  suffered.  "Yes,  like  the  damned."  Louis  Philippe 
murmured,  "  Deja  !"  a  word  that  the  dying  man  heard,  and  which  he  re- 
venged forthwith  by  giving  to  one  of  the  persons  about  him  secret  and 
terrible  indications.  But,  in  fact,  the  repartee  may  be  found  in  one  of  Le- 
brun's  Epigrams,  and  has  been  attributed  to  a  number  of  people. 

"History  repeats  itself,"  is  a  common  saying.  But  historians  are  often  a 
little  too  hasty  in  assuming  that  the  repetition  indicates  falsity.  We  might 
believe  that  William  Tell  had  shot  the  apple  off  his  son's  head,  in  spite  of 
the  fact  that  many  archers  before  his  time  had  performed  the  same  feat,  if 
there  were  any  evidence  that  William  Tell  ever  existed.  Columbus  may  have 
shown  the  Spanish  courtiers  how  to  make  an  egg  stand  upon  end,  although 
before  his  time  Brunelleschi  had  adopted  the  same  method  of  embarrassing 
the  enemies  who  sarcastically  inquired  the  method  by  which  he  proposed  to 
build  the  dome  in  Florence.  Nor  need  there  be  any  question  of  plagiarism 
here.  When  Louis  XII.  said,  "The  King  of  France  does  not  avenge  the 
injuries  of  the  Duke  of  Orleans,"  he  may  have  been  entirely  ignorant  that  he 
had  been  anticipated  by  Philip,  Count  of  Bresse,  who  said,  when  he  became 
Duke  of  Savoy  in  1497,  "  It  would  be  shameful  as  duke  to  avenge  the  injuries 
of  the  count."  Christina  of  Sweden  may  have  said  of  Louis  XIV.  when  he 
revoked  the  Edict  of  Nantes,  "  He  has  cut  off  his  left  arm  with  the  right,"  in 
spite  of  the  fact  that  Valentinian  had  made  use  of  the  same  expression.  In 
fact,  we  are  all  in  danger  of  becoming  too  sceptical.  Walpole  wrote  an  in- 
genious work  to  show,  taking  for  his  base  the  conflicting  statements  in  history, 
that  no  such  person  as  Richard  III.  ever  existed,  or  that,  if  he  did,  he  could 
have  been  neither  a  tyrant  nor  a  hunchback.  Whately's  "  Historic  Doubts 
relative  to  Napoleon  Bonaparte,"  which  was  published  in  1810,  created  wide- 
spread amusement  by  its  amazing  cleverness.  It  proved  with  infinite  inge- 
nuity that  Napoleon  had  never  existed,  and  was  written  to  expose  Hume's 
axiom  concerning  testimony  by  a  rrdudio  ad  absiirdum.  About  ten  years 
after  the  appearance  of  Whately's  pamphlet,  one  J.  B.  Peres,  who  probably 
never  heard  of  Whately,  published  his  "  Comme  quoi  Napoleon  n'a  jamais 
existe,"  which  resolved  Napoleon  into  a  solar  myth.  And  it  will  be  remem- 
bered that  in  his  ingenious  paj^er  on  the  great  Gladstone  myth  Mr.  Andrew 
Lang  has  followed  in  the  wake  of  Peres  and  proved  conclusively  that  Glad- 
stone is  only  a.iother  name  for  the  sun,  and  that  the  various  deeds  attributed 
to  him  are  simply  allegorical  embodiments  of  the  sun's  doings. 

Hoaxes,  Some  famous.  Many  etymologies  for  the  word  *'  hoax"  have 
been  suggested, — the  most  plausible  making  it  a  corruption  from  the  first 
word  of  hocus-pocus,  which  in  its  turn  is  a  corruption  from  the  hoc  est  corpus 
of  the  mass.  A  hoax  may  be  defined  as  a  successful  effort  to  deceive  without 
any  motive  but  fun.  With  a  further  limitation  of  its  meaning  as  a  deception 
of  the  many,  a  useful  line  of  demarcation  might  be  drawn  .between  the  hoax 
and  the  practical  joke  which  is  aimed  only  at  individuals.  This  definition 
would  exclude  all  the  famous  literary  forgeries,  from  Chatterton  to  Lew  Van- 
derpoole,  where  the  object  was  pelf  rather  than  amusement,  such  deliberate 
swindles  as  the  South  Sea  Bubble,  and  even  such  famous  instances  as  De 


468  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Foe's  story  of  the  apparition  of  Mrs.  Veal,  which  was  written  to  sell  "  Drel- 
incourt  on  Death." 

When  Sheridan  completed  the  Greek  sentence  levelled  against  him — which 
the  country  members  cheered,  not  because  they  understood  it,  but  because  it 
was  quoted  on  their  side — by  saying  that  the  passage  should  have  been  con- 
tinued to  the  end,  and  glibly  adding  a  screed  of  Irish,  it  is  doubtful  whether 
his  jest  rose  to  the  dignity  of  a  hoax.  But  the  constant  victimization  of  anti- 
quaries by  fabricated  articles  purporting  to  be  interesting  as  relics  of  the  past 
is  clearly  a  hoax,  except  when  it  is  done  for  profit.  Every  one  will  remember,  in 
Scott's  "Antiquary,"  the  metal  vessel  inscribed  with  the  letters  A — D — L — L, 
which  Monkbarns  interpreted  to  mean  Agricola  dicavit  libcns  lnhens,  but  which 
Edie  Ochiltree  pronounced  to  h&  Aikin  Driitns  lang  ladle.  And  everyone 
will  also  remember  the  uneven  and  broken  stone  on  which  the  Pickwick  club 
laboriously  deciphered  this  inscription  : 

+ 

I!  I  I.ST 
UM 
PSH[ 
S.M. 
ARK 

which  turned  out  to  be  nothing  more  nor  less  than  "  Bil  Stumps,  his  Mark." 
Here  again  the  hoax  is  not  perfect,  because  there  is  no  evidence  that  either 
Aikin  Drum  or  Bill  Stokes  had  any  deliberate  intention  to  deceive.  But  the 
following  inscription  is  a  genuine  hoax.  It  was  sent  to  the  secretary  of  an 
enthusiastic  band  of  archseologists  exploring  the  town  of  Banbury,  as  having 
been  copied  from  the  corner-stone  of  an  old  structure  lately  pulled  down  : 

SEOGEH  SREVE  EREH  WCISUME  VAHL 
LAH  SEHS  SE  OTREH  NOS  LLEBDNAS 
REGNI  FREH  NOS  G.NIRES  ROHYER 
GANOED  IRYD  ALE  NIFAE  ESOTS  SORCY 
RUB  NABOT  ES  ROHK  CO  CAED  IR. 

After  the  learned  heads  had  been  puzzled  for  a  while,  one  of  their  number 
hit  upon  the  expedient  of  reading  the  inscription  backward,  when  it  was 
found  to  be  an  ingenious  transposition  of  the  well-known  nursery  rhyme, 
"  Ride  a  cock-horse,"  etc. 

The  ever-amusing  "  Raikes's  Diary"  tells  of  a  stone  found  near  Nerac 
in  1838  which  bore  this  legend  :  Similiter  causa-qiie  ego  ambo  te  ficma7it  cum  de 
suis.  After  puzzling  all  the  learned  brains  of  the  locality,  it  was  about  to  be 
sent  to  Paris,  when  an  old  inhabitant  remembered  that  the  stone  came  from  a 
building  occupied  by  Russian  troops  during  the  invasion  of  1814.  The  ex- 
planation that  it  was  only  a  bit  of  military  fun  at  once  suggested  itself,  and 
iinally  it  was  discovered  that  by  reading  off  the  inscription  with  the  proper 
French  pronunciation  of  the  syllables  it  became,  Six  militaires  cosaques  egaux 
en  beaute  fumant  comme  deux  Siiisses,  which,  translated,  means,  "Six  Cossack 
soldiers  equal  in  beauty,  smoking  like  two  Swiss." 

The  archaeologist  Gough,  at  a  curiosity-shop,  came  across  a  slab  of  stone 
with  a  curious  inscription,  liought  it,  and  had  it  described  before  the  Society 
of  Antiquaries,  and  engraved  for  the  Gentlemati's  Magazine.  The  legend 
read,  "  Here  Hardcnut  drank. a  wine-horn  dry,  stared  about  him,  and  died." 
The  evidence  seemed  to  be  in  its  favor.  It  had  been  found,  so  the  shopkeeper 
asserted,  in  Kennington  Lane,  where  the  palace  of  Hardcnut  is  supposed  to 
have  been  situated.  At  last  it  transpired  that  George  Steevens,  to  satisfy  an 
old  grudge  against  Gough,  had  procured  a  fragment  of  an  old  chimney-slab. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  469 

scratched  the  inscription  in  rude  characters,  and  got  the  curiosity-dealer  so 
to  manage  that  Gough  should  see  and  buy  the  stone. 

Traps  of  this  sort  are  continually  being  laid  for  unsuspecting  antiquarians 
by  the  waggishly  inclined,  and  many  a  supposed  old  coin  has  been  found  on 
investigation  to  be  nothing  more  than  a  sou  or  a  centime  melted  in  the  fire, 
battered  with  a  hammer,  punched  with  a  cold-chisel  in  imitation  of  antique 
lettering,  and  then  hidden  in  some  place  where  it  was  sure  to  be  discovered. 
"There  is  a  cairn,"  says  the  Rev.  J.  G.  Wood,  "broken  and  battered,  on  the 
summit  of  the  hills  near  the  Vale  of  White  Hcirse,  and  visible  from  the  rail- 
way. A  very  well  known  author  refers  in  a  very  well  known  book  to  that 
cairn  as  a  Danish  monument,  whereas  I  built  it  myself;  and,  by  the  same 
token,  there  is  in  the  middle  of  it  a  flat-iron  without  any  handle.  Jokes  of 
this  sort,"  he  adds,  "are  very  prevalent  among  scientific  men.  There  is,  for 
example,  one  of  our  best  entomologists  who  prides  himself  on  his  skill  in 
manufacturing  insects.  If  they  have  wings,  he  discharges  the  color  by  chem- 
ical means,  and  paints  them  afresh.  He  substitutes  various  parts  of  various 
beings  for  those  of  the  creature  which  he  manufactures,  cutting  out  from  an 
old  champagne-cork  anything  that  may  be  found  wanting.  He  once  tried  to 
palm  off  on  me  a  most  ingenious  combination.  The  head  was  made  of  cork, 
the  wings  were  real  wings,  only  turned  the  wrong  side  upwards,  and  the  body 
had  been  taken  to  pieces,  painted,  and  varnished.  Unfortunately  for  himself, 
this  very  clever  forger  of  entomological  rarities  had  visited  one  of  those 
houses  where  the  celebrated  Cardinal  spider  lives,  and  had  added  the  legs  of 
a  spider  from  Hampton  Court  to  the  body,  wings,  and  antennas  of  insects 
from  all  parts  of  the  world.  The  spider's  legs  betrayed  him,  but  the  author 
of  the  entomological  forgery  was  not  in  the  least  disconcerted  at  the  discovery 
of  the  fraud.  There  are  no  school-boys  who  enjoy  a  joke  half  as  much  as 
your  celebrated  scientific  and  literary  men.  Their  reputation  is  too  safe  for 
cavil,  and  when  they  get  together  they  are  as  playful  as  so  many  kittens. 
The  museum  of  the  late  Charles  Waterton  was  full  of  zoological  jokes." 

Many  such  hoa.xes  have  been  perpetrated  for  the  purpose  of  silencing  critic- 
asters and  exposing  their  pretensions.  Thus,  Michael  Angelo,  wearied  of 
hearing  modern  sculpture  contrasted  with  ancient  to  the  disparagement  of  the 
former,  hit  upon  the  plan  of  burying  a  Cupid,  having  first  knocked  off  an  arm 
or  so,  and  when  it  was  dug  up  he  had  the  satisfaction  of  hearing  his  former 
detractors  praise  it  as  a  genuine  antique.  Muretus  played  a  similar  trick  upon 
the  critic  Joseph  Scaliger,  a  great  admirer  of  the  ancients,  by  palming  off 
upon  him  some  Latin  verses  as  being  copied  from  an  old  manuscript.  Scaliger 
was  delighted,  ascribed  them  to  an  old  comic  ])oet,  Trabeus,  and  quoted  them 
in  his  commentary  on  Varro  "  De  Re  Rustica,"  as  one  of  the  most  ]irecious 
fragments  of  antiquity.  Then  Muretus  wickedly  informed  the  world  of  his 
deception,  and  pointed  out  the  small  dependence  to  be  placed  on  the  sagacity 
of  one  so  prejudiced  in  favor  of  the  ancients.  A  famous  hoax  of  this  sort 
was  practised  by  Johann  Meinhold  upon  the  Tiibingen  school  of  critics.  These 
gentlemen  believed  their  judgment  unerring  in  deciding  upon  the  authenticity 
of  any  writing,  and  throughout  the  Gospels  they  professed  to  discriminate  the 
precise  degree  of  credibility  of  each  chapter,  each  narrative,  each  word,  with 
a  certainty  that  disdained  all  doubt  and  a  firmness  no  argument  could  move. 
In  1843  Dr.  Meinhold  published  "  The  Amber  Witch,"  professedly  from  a 
mutilated  manuscript  which  had  been  found  by  an  old  sexton  in  a  closet  of 
the  church  at  Usedom  in  Pomerania.  It  purported  to  be  a  contemporaneous 
chronicle,  by  the  pastor  of  Coserow,  of  certain  events  that  took  place  in  his 
parish  in  the  early  part  of  the  seventeenth  century,  and  was  accepted  as  such 
by  the  profoundest  of  the  Tiibingen  savants. 

A  very  different  sort  of  hoax  was  recently  practised  upon  English  publishers 
40 


470  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

and  magazine-editors.  A  disappointed  literary  aspirant,  weary  of  having  his 
articles  declined  with  thanks,  and  doubtful  of  his  critics'  infallibility,  copied 
out  "  Samson  Agonistes,"  which  he  rechristened  "  Like  a  Giant  Refreshed," 
and  the  manuscript,  as  an  original  work  of  his  own,  went  the  rounds  of  pub- 
lishers and  editors.  It  was  declined  on  various  pleas,  and  the  letters  he 
received  afforded  him  so  much  amusement  that  he  published  them  in  the  St. 
James'  Gazette.  None  of  the  critics  discovered  that  the  work  was  Milton's. 
One,  who  had  evidently  not  even  looked  at  it,  deemed  it  a  sensational  novel ; 
another  recognized  a  certain  amount  of  merit,  but  thought  it  was  disfigured  by 
"  Scotticisms ;"  a  third  was  sufficiently  pleased  to  offer  to  publish  it,  provided 
the  author  contributed  forty  pounds  towards  expenses. 

A  hoax  which  did  not  deceive  the  learned,  but  sorely  puzzled  them,  was  that 
known  as  the  Dutch  Mail  hoax.  Some  fifty  years  ago,  an  article  appeared  in 
the  Leicester  Herald,  an  English  provincial  paper,  under  the  title  of  "  The 
Dutch  Mail,"  with  the  announcement  that  it  had  arrived  too  late  for  transla- 
tion, and  so  had  been  set  up  and  printed  in  the  original.  Much  attention  was 
attracted  to  the  article,  and  many  Dutch  scholars  rushed  into  print  to  say  that 
it  was  not  in  any  dialect  with  which  they  were  acquainted.  Finally,  it  was 
discovered  to  be  a  hoax.  Sir  Richard  Phillips,  the  editor  of  the  paper, 
recently  told  this  story  of  how  the  jest  was  conceived  and  carried  out :  "One 
evening,  before  one  of  our  publications,  my  men  and  a  boy  overturned  two  or 
three  columns  of  the  paper  in  type.  We  had  to  get  ready  some  way  for  the 
C(jaches,  which,  at  four  in  the  morning,  required  four  or  five  hundred  papers. 
After  every  exertion,  we  were  short  nearly  a  column,  but  there  stood  a  tempt- 
ing column  of  'pi'  on  the  galleys.  It  suddenly  struck  me  that  this  might  be 
thought  Dutch.  I  made  up  the  column,  overcame  the  scruples  of  the  foreman, 
and  so  away  the  country  edition  went  with  its  philological  puzzle  to  worry  the 
honest  agricultural  readers'  heads.  There  was  plenty  of  time  to  set  up  a 
column  of  plain  English  for  the  local  edition."  Sir  Richard  met  one  man  in 
Nottingham  who  for  thirty  years  preserved  a  copy  of  the  Leicester  Herald, 
hoping  that  some  day  the  letter  would  be  explained. 

Madame  de  Genlis  tells  a  story  in  point.  The  Due  de  Liancourt  was  an 
intimate  friend  of  Abbe  Delille.  Both  were  at  Spa,  when  one  morning  the 
Abbe  was  deeply  chagrined  by  seeing  some  couplets  on  the  birthday  of  the 
Duchess  of  Orleans,  regular  enough  in  manner,  but  foolish  in  matter,  pub- 
lished, with  his  name,  in  a  daily  newspaper.  The  verses  were  in  fact  the 
duke's  composition.  We  all  remember  the  letter  on  American  Philistinism 
which  was  credited  to  Matthew  Arnold,  the  letter  about  jjublic  bores  which 
was  credited  t<j  Carlyle  (and  which  Ruskin,  by  the  way,  endorsed  as  "not  the 
least  significant  of  the  utterances  of  the  Master"),  and  many  similar  forgeries, 
more  or  less  clever  imitations  of  style,  which  have  gone  the  rounds  of  the 
press,  ])rovoked  surprise,  anger,  applause,  condemnation,  and  finally  called 
forth  vigorous  denials  from  the  supposed  authors.  A  poem  called  "A  Vision 
of  Immortality,"  ascribed  to  William  Cullen  Bryant  and  copied  as  such  into 
many  papers,  has  been  pasted  into  a  host  of  scrap-books.  The  author  had 
made  a  wager  that  he  could  write  a  poem  which  would  deceive  the  general 
public  into  the  impression  that  it  was  Bryant's.  Poe  has  ever  been  a  favorite 
subject  for  this  sort  of  jesting,  as  the  mannerisms  of  his  style  are  easily  caught ; 
and  every  now  and  then  a  fresh  imitation,  claiming  to  be  a  genuine  treasure 
trove,  starts  on  its  journey  through  the  papers. 

Perhaps  this  is  only  a  fair  quid  pro  quo.  No  man  ever  had  a  greater  fondness 
for  gulling  the  public.  That  gruesome  tale,  "The  Facts  in  the  Case  of  M. 
Valdemar,"  was  worked  up  with  an  appalling  verisimilitude  of  detail  which 
imjiosed  upon  many  people.  Mesmerism  at  that  time  had  just  begun  to  be 
talked  of.     The  Abbe  Migne,  in  his  "  Dictionary  of  Popular  Superstitions." 


LITERARY  CURIOSIIIES.  47 1 

seemed  more  than  half  inclined  to  believe  in  its  truth.  "We  will  not  leave 
the  subject  of  animal  magnetism,"  he  says,  "without  acquainting  the  reader 
with  an  extraordinary,  we  might  say  an  incredible,  incident  which  is  just  now 
creating  a  great  sensation  in  the  learned  world,"  and  then  he  translates  Poe's 
story  entire. 

The  "  Balloon  Hoax"  was  Poe's  most  successful  imposition  upon  the  public. 
One  day  in  April,  1844,  the  New  York  Sim  astonished  its  readers  with  an 
article  headed  thus,  in  magnificent  capitals  : 

ASTOUNDING   NEWS   BY   EXPRESS    VIA    NORFOLK! 

THE  ATLANTIC  CROSSED  IN   THREE   DAYS!! 

Signal  Triumph  of  Mr.  Monck  Mason's  Flying-Machine  !  !  ! 

Arrival  at  Sullivan's  Island,  near  Charleston,  South  Carolina,  of  Mr.  Mason,  Mr.  Robert 


Holland,  Mr.  Henson,  Mr.  Harrison  Ainsworth,  and  four  others,  in  the  Steering  Balloon 
"  Victoria,"  after  a  passage  of  seventy-five  hours  from  land  to  land  !  Full  particulars  of  the 
voyage ! 

Every  one  was  on  the  qui vive.  "The  rush  for  'the  sole  paper  which  had 
the  news,' "  says  Poe,  "  was  something  beyond  even  the  prodigious  ;  and,  in 
fact,  if  (as  some  assert)  the  'Victoria'  did  not  absolutely  accomplish  the 
voyage  recorded,  it  will  be  difficult  to  assign  a  reason  why  she  shoidd  noi  have 
accomplished  it."  It  is  not  a  little  curious  that  the  New  York  Sun  was  the 
very  paper  in  which,  nine  years  before,  in  September,  1835,  the  celebrated 
"  Moon  Hoax"  had  appeared,  overshadowing  and  interrupting  forever  the 
story  of  "  Hans  Pfaall's  Journey  to  the  Moon,"  which,  by  an  extraordinary 
coincidence,  Poe  had  begun  three  weeks  previous  in  the  Southern  Literary 
Messenger.  Poe  had  originally  intended  his  own  story  as  a  hoax,  but  his 
friends,  who  had  less  faith  in  the  gullibility  of  the  public  than  himself,  per- 
suaded him  to  give  up  the  idea  of  deliijerate  deception.  "  I  fell  back  upon  a 
style  half  plausible,  half  bantering,  and  resolved  to  give  what  interest  I  could 
to  an  actual  passage  from  the  eartli  to  the  moon,  describing  the  lunar  scenery 
as  if  surveyed  and  personally  examined  by  the  narrator."  The  success  of  the 
"  Moon  Hoax"  showed  that  Poe  was  right  and  his  friends  wrong.  The 
former  took  up  the  very  idea  which  Poe  claims  to  have  abandoned, — that  of 
accounting  for  the  narrator's  acquaintance  with  the  satellite  by  the  supposition 
of  an  extraordinary  telescope.  The  "  Moon  Hoax" — so  called,  of  course,  after 
its  bogus  nature  had  been  discovered — opened  with  an  account  of  how  Sir 
John  Herschel,  with  Sir  David  Brewster's  assistance,  had  invented  an  appa- 
ratus (minutely  described)  by  which  the  magnifying  power  of  an  immense 
telescope  could  be  sufficiently  increased  to  detect  minute  objects  in  the  moon. 
Sir  John  was  sent  out  to  the  Cape  of  Good  Hope  at  the  expense  of  the 
English,  French,  and  Austrian  governments.  "  Whether  the  British  govern- 
ment were  sceptical  concerning  the  promised  splendor  of  the  discoveries,  or 
wished  them  to  be  scrupulously  veiled  until  they  had  accumulated  a  full-orbed 
glory  for  the  nation  and  reign  in  which  they  originated,  is  a  question  which  we 
can  only  conjecturally  solve.  But  certain  it  is  that  the  astronomer's  royal 
patrons  enjoined  a  masonic  taciturnity  upon  him  and  his  friends  until  he 
should  have  officially  communicated  the  results  of  his  great  experiment." 
This  was  a  clever  explanation  of  the  circumstance  that  nothing  had  before 
been  heard  regarding  the  gigantic  instrument  taken  out  by  Herschel.  That 
he  was  actually  at  that  time  at  the  Cape  of  Good  Hope  was  generally  known. 

On  the  night  of  January  10,  1835,  the  telescope  was  ready  to  be  employed 
upon  the  moon.  The  first  things  observed  were  basaltic  rocks  covered  with 
jjoppies  ;  then  fields,  trees,  and  rivers  ;  then  amethyst  mountains  and  ver- 
dant valleys;  then  animals  like  bisons,  a  unicorn  goat,  pelicans,  sheep,  etc. 
All  these  things  were  described  with  a  gorgeous  wealth  of  detail.     At  last 

THF  *^ 

UNIVERSITY 


472  HANDY-BGOK  OF 

winged  creatures  were  seen  to  light  upon  a  plain,  something  between  a  human 
being  and  an  orang-outang  in  appearance,  with  wings  like  those  of  a  bat. 
These  beings  were  at  once  christened  the  Vespertilio-homo,  or  Bat-man. 
They  were  doubtless  innocent  and  happy  creatures,  but  some  of  their  ways 
were  unpublishably  singular,  and  were  reserved  for  a  scientific  book  by  Her- 
schel.  Meanwhile,  several  ministers,  on  a  promise  of  temporary  secrecy, 
were  allowed  a  peep  at  these  things  which  were  unfit  for  the  laity. 

Such  was  the  substance  of  a  narrative  which  astounded  all  America.  Many 
were  deceived,  many  were  only  perplexed.  Poe  himself  wrote  an  examina- 
tion of  its  claims  to  credit,  showing  distinctly  its  fictitious  character,  but  was 
astonished  at  finding  that  he  could  obtain  few  listeners,  "so  really  eager  were 
all  to  be  deceived,  so  magical  were  the  charms  of  a  style  that  served  as  the 
vehicle  of  an  exceedingly  clumsy  invention.  .  .  .  Not  one  person  in  ten  dis- 
credited it,  and  (strangest  point  of  all  !)  the  doiibters  were  chiefly  those  who 
doubted  without  being  able  to  say  why, — the  ignorant,  those  uninformed  in 
astronomy, — people  who  zuould  not  heWtve  because  the  thing  was  so  novel,  so 
entirely  'out  of  the  usual  way.'  A  grave  professor  of  mathematics  in  a  Vir- 
ginia college  told  me  seriously  that  he  had  no  doubt  of  the  truth  of  the  whole 
affair."  Many  prominent  newspapers  fell  squarely  into  the  trap.  The  Mer- 
cantile Advertiser  thought  the  document  bore  "intrinsic  evidence  of  being  au- 
thentic." The  New  York  Times  thought  it  displayed  "the  most  extensive 
and  accurate  knowledge  of  astronomy,"  was  "  probable  and  plausible,"  and 
"had  an  air  of  intense  verisimilitude."  The  Albany  Daily  Advertiser  had 
read  the  article  with  "unspeakable  emotions  of  pleasure  and  astonishment ;" 
while  the  Ne-iv  Yorker  considered  the  discoveries  "of  astounding  interest, 
creating  a  new  era  in  astronomy  and  science  generally."  The  hoax  was 
reprinted  in  pamphlet-form,  and,  though  by  this  time  its  bogus  nature  had 
been  discovered,  an  edition  of  sixty  thousand  copies  was  readily  disposed  of. 
Lately  a  single  copy  of  that  edition  sold  for  three  dollars  and  seventy-five 
cents. 

One  effect  of  the  hoax  was  to  deprive  us  of  the  conclusion  of  "  Hans 
Pfaall."  "  Having  read  the  Moon  Story  to  an  end,"  says  Poe,  "and  found  it 
anticipative  of  all  the  main  points  of  my  '  Hans  Pfaall,'  I  suffered  the  latter 
to  remain  unfinished.  The  chief  design  in  carrying  my  hero  to  the  moon  was 
to  afford  him  an  oji^jortunity  of  describing  the  lunar  scenery;  but  I  found  that 
he  could  add  very  little  to  the  minute  and  authentic  account  of  Sir  John  Her- 
schel.  I  did  not  even  think  it  advisable  to  biing  my  voyager  back  to  his 
parent  earth.  He  remains  where  I  left  him,  and  is  still,  I  believe,  the  man  in 
the  moon."  It  is  worth  noting  that  Poe,  who  was  ever  morbidly  keen  on  the 
subject  of  plagiarism,  distinctly  says,  "  I  am  bound  to  do  Mr.  Locke  the  jus- 
tice to  say  that  he  denies  having  seen  my  article  prior  to  the  publication  of 
his  own  :  I  am  bound  to  add,  also,  that  I  believe  him." 

Mr.  Richard  Alton  Locke,  a  clever  New  York  journalist,  was  the  author  of 
the  hoax.  Not  for  many  years,  however,  was  the  secret  divulged.  Some  of 
the  New  York  journals,  indeed,  jjublished  the  "  Moon  Story"  side  by  side 
with  "  Hans  Pfaall,"  thinking  that  the  author  of  one  had  been  detected  in  the 
author  of  the  other.  Subsequently  suspicion  settled  down  upon  Nicollet,  a 
French  astronomer  who  had  come  to  .'\merica  after  the  revolution  of  1830, 
and  whose  object,  it  was  said,  was  to  raise  money  and  to  deceive  his  enemy, 
Arago.  It  was  added  that  he  succeeded  in  doing  both.  But  Mr.  Proctor 
discredits  the  Arago  story,  and  states  that  no  astronomer  could  have  either 
written  or  been  deceived  by  the  hoax.  He  adds  that  as  gauges  of  general 
knowledge  scientific  hoaxes  have  their  use,  just  as  paradoxical  works  have. 
"No  one,  certainly  no  student  of  science,  can  thoroughly  understand  how 
little  some  people  know  about  science,  until  he  has  observed  how  much  will 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  473 

be  believed  if  only  published  with  the  apparent  authority  of  a  few  known 
names  and  announced  with  a  sufficient  parade  of  technical  verbiage  ;  nor  is  it 
as  easy  as  might  be  thought,  even  for  those  who  are  acquainted  with  the  facts, 
to  disprove  either  a  hoax  or  a  paradox."  He  therefore  notes  without  any 
wonder  that  in  January,  1874,  he  was  gravely  asked  whether  an  account  iii 
the  New  York  World,  purporting  to  describe  how  the  moon's  frame  was  grad- 
ually cracking,  threatening  eventually  to  fall  into  several  separate  fragments, 
was  in  reality  based  on  fact.  "  In  the  far  West,  at  Lincoln,  Nebraska,  a  law- 
yer asked  me  in  February,  1876,  why  I  had  not  described  the  great  discoveries 
recently  made  by  means  of  a  powerful  reflector  erected  near  Paris.  Accord- 
ing to  the  Chicago  Times,  this  powerful  instrument  had  shown  buildings  in 
the  moon,  and  bands  of  workmen  could  be  seen  with  it  who  manifestly  were 
undergoing  some  kind  of  penal  servitude,  for  they  were  chained  together." 
It  is  singular  how  often  these  pseudo-scientific  hoaxes  refer  to  the  moon. 

A  certain  Joe  IVIulhatton,  who  was  connected  with  various  papers,  kept  the 
public  continually  on  the  qui  vive  with  his  inventions.  His  story  of  a  meteor 
which  fell  in  Kansas  had  an  air  of  scientific  possibility  that  imposed  upon 
many.  His  thirteen  story  was  widely  copied  and  commented  upon.  In 
Western  Texas,  so  the  tale  ran,  a  traveller  came  upon  the  ruins  of  a  stage- 
coach, and  in  the  coach  were  thirteen  skeletons.  And  this  was  the  explana- 
tion. Some  two  years  before  the  ghastly  find  was  made,  thirteen  hunters  hired 
a  stage-coach  in  a  small  Texas  town,  and  started  to  explore  a  great  uninhabited 
region  in  the  western  part  of  the  State,  where  they  expected  to  find  good 
hunting.  When  they  started,  one  of  the  party  said  something  about  thirteen 
being  an  unlucky  number.  The  others  merely  laughed,  and  the  expedition 
proceeded.     The  thirteen  hunters  were  never  seen  again. 

The  ruins  of  their  coach  and  the  skeletons  of  the  thirteen  men  and  four 
horses  were  found  near  the  centre  of  a  vast  desert  of  sand  and  sage-busli,  and 
it  was  evident  that  men  and  horses  had  died  of  thirst  or  starvation. 

In  1883  Mulhatton  was  in  Birmingham,  Alabama.  One  day  he  read  in  a 
local  paper  an  item  to  the  effect  that  some  men  engaged  in  boring  an  artesian 
well  in  the  town  had  struck  what  seemed  to  be  a  small  flowing  stream  of  water, 
at  a  depth  of  three  hundred  feet.  This  gave  Mulhatton  an  idea.  A  few 
days  later  a  thrilling  story  appeared  in  the  Louisville  Courier-Journal  to  the 
effect  that  an  immense  underground  river  flowed  under  Birmingham,  Ala- 
bama, and  the  entire  town  was  in  great  danger  of  falling  in  and  being  swept 
away. 

While  excavating  for  the  foundation  of  a  large  building,  the  stone  crust 
that  supported  the  few  feet  of  earth  above  the  river  had  been  pierced,  and  it 
was  breaking  and  giving  way  all  over  the  city.  Several  buildings  had  fallen 
down,  and  one  corner  of  the  City  Hall  had  settled  four  feet  into  a  fissure 
which  was  rapidly  widening,  and  soon  the  entire  building  would  go  down  into 
the  dark,  underground  river. 

This  story  made  an  immense  sensation  when  it  was  printed.  For  two  days 
the  telegraph-office  at  Birmingham  was  flooded  with  telegrams  from  all  parts 
of  the  country,  asking  if  there  were  any  truth  in  the  story. 

The  New  York  Herald,  in  1874,  created  great,  though  temporary,  alarm  by 
a  circumstantial  story  that  the  wild  animals  had  escaped  from  the  Zoological 
Garden  and  were  roaming  about  Central  Park  in  search  of  prey.  The  anxiety 
of  mothers  who  had  sent  their  children  out  to  the  park,  the  general  excite- 
ment and  suspense  which  ensued  until  the  falsity  of  the  story  was  announced, 
are  remembered  by  many. 

The  Levajtt  Herald  of  September  22,  1890,  quoted  a  eurious  letter  from 
Bjelina,  Bosnia,  which  disclosed  a  state  of  things  among  the  Bosniaks  that 
recalls  some  of  the  old  stories  we  used  to  hear  about  China.  It  appears  that 
40* 


474  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

numbers  of  Eosniaks  had  recently  applied  to  the  authorities  for  permission  to 
be  beheaded  in  the  place  of  Baron  de  Rotiischild.  The  authorities  at  once  set 
themselves  to  investigate  the  matter,  and  found  that  a  rumor  had  been  spread 
abroad  among  the  rural  population  that  Baron  Rothschild  had  been  sentenced 
to  death  for  some  crime  or  other,  and  that  he  would  pay  a  million  florins  to 
any  one  who  would  become  his  substitute  and  undergo  the  penalty  for  him. 
Clubs  were  speedily  formed  among  the  peasants  who  desired  to  share  the 
million,  and  each  member  bound  himself  to  sacrifice  his  life  for  the  benefit 
of  his  fellow-members  if  he  should  draw  the  fatal  lot  that  designated  one  of 
the  club  as  the  victim.  The  money,  of  course,  was  to  be  divided  among  the 
rest  as  a  prize.  In  this  manner  several  substitutes  for  the  baron  were  pro- 
vided, and  they  offered  themselves  to  the  authorities  ready  to  fulfil  their  bar- 
gain to  the  last.  No  explanations  were  sufficient  to  convince  them  that  the 
story  was  a  hoax,  and  for  a  long  time  new  postulants  for  decapitation  were 
still  coming  in,  and  still  going  away  grieved  and  unhappy  in  their  disappoint- 
ment. 

Of  bibliographical  hoaxes  the  most  complete  and  artistic  was  the  Fortsas 
Catalogue.  In  1840,  bibliographers  were  electrified  by  the  appearance  of  a 
pamphlet  purporting  to  be  a  catalogue  of  the  library  of  the  late  Count  J.  N. 
A.  de  Fortsas,  of  Binche,  lielgium.  It  contained  only  fourteen  pages,  to  be 
sure,  and  described  only  fifty-two  books  ;  but  each  of  these  was  unique  :  no 
book  mentioned  by  any  bibliographer  was  to  be  found  in  the  collection.  The 
count,  it  was  represented,  "pitilessly  expelled  from  his  shelves  books  for 
which  he  had  paid  their  weight  in  gold — volumes  which  would  have  been 
the  pride  of  the  most  fastidious  amateurs — as  soon  as  he  learned  that  a  work 
up  to  that  time  unknown  had  been  noticed  in  any  catalogue."  The  publica- 
tion of  the  "  Nouvelles  Recherches"  of  Brunei  had  caused  the  destruction  of 
one-third  of  the  count's  library  and  broken  the  collector's  spirit.  From  that 
time  he  made  no  further  acquisitions;  but  the  bulletin  of  Techener  "from 
time  to  time  still  further  thinned  the  already  decimated  ranks  of  his  sacred 
battalion."  Weary  of  books  and  of  life,  he  had  died,  September  i,  1839,  and 
his  library  was  now  offered  for  sale.  The  bibliographical  world  was  fairly 
agog.  The  titles  in  the  catalogue  were  of  the  most  tantalizing  description. 
Orders  poured  in  from  all  parts  of  Europe.  The  most  expert  bibliographers 
were  deceived.  Charles  Nodier,  indeed,  suspected  a  hoax,  but  Techener 
laughed  at  his  doubts,  and  ordered  No.  36, — "  Evangile  du  citoyen  J^sus, 
purge  des  idees  aristocrates  et  royal istes,  et  ramene  aux  vrais  principes  de  la 
raison,  par  un  bon  sans-culotte."  Van  de  Weyer  and  Crozat  ordered  the 
same  book.  The  Princesse  de  Ligne,  for  the  honor  of  her  family,  ordered 
No.  48  at  any  price, — "  a  catalogue  more  than  curious  of  the  bonnes  fortunes 
of  the  Prince  de  Ligne,"  with  a  title  that  is  hardly  quotable.  The  director  of 
the  Royal  Library  of  Brussels  obtained  an  appropriation  to  purchase  all  the 
F(Htsas  treasures  except  seven,  which  were  considered  a  little  ioo  free  for  a 
public  library.  A  number  of  Parisian  bibliophiles  met  in  the  stage  for  Brus- 
sels, and  there  discovered  that  they  were  all  possessed  with  the  same  inten- 
tion of  stealing  away  uniloticed,  each  hoping  by  this  means  to  have  the  game 
all  to  himself  In  the  course  of  the  affair  there  were  the  usual  illustrations 
of  human  mendacity  and  self-deception.  Men  remembered  seeing  books  that 
had  never  existed.  The  foreman  in  Casteman's  printing-office  at  Tournay  had 
distinct  recollection  of  a  bogus  volume  credited  to  his  press,  and  recalled  its 
mythical  author  "  perfectly." 

On  the  9th  of  August,  1840,  the  day  before  the  sale,  an  announcement 
appeared  in  the  I5lussels  papers  that  the  library  of  the  Count  de  Fortsas 
would  not  be  sold, — that  the  people  of  Binche,  in  honor  of  its  collector,  had 
determined  to  buy  it  entire.     Eventually  it  transpired  that  catalogue,  library, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  475 

and  Count  de  Fortsas  himself  were  all  the  invention  of  one  Rene  Chalons,  a 
humorist  living  in  Belgium.  His  ingenious  catalogue  begot  quite  a  literature 
of  its  own,  which  was  collected  and  published  in  a  volume  entitled  "Docu- 
ments et  Particularites  historiques  sur  le  Catalogue  du  Comte  de  Fortsas," 
Mons,  1850. 

Theodore  Hook  was  a  famous  practical  joker,  and  once,  at  least,  he  perpe- 
trated a  jest  that  disturbed  all  London  and  amused  all  England.  This  was 
the  famous  Berners  Street  hoax.  Berners  Street  in  iSio  was  a  quiet  street, 
inhabited  by  well-to-do  families,  and  even  people  of  social  importance,  as  the 
Bishops  of  Carlisle  and  of  Chester,  Earl  Stanhope,  etc.  On  the  morning  of 
November  26,  soon  after  breakfast,  a  wagon-load  of  coals  drew  up  before  the 
door  of  Mrs.  Tottingham,  a  widow  lady  living  at  No.  54.  A  van-load  of 
furniture  followed,  then  a  hearse  with  a  coffin,  and  a  train  of  mourning- 
coaches.  Two  fashionable  physicians,  a  dentist,  and  an  accoucheur  drove  up 
as  near  as  they  could  to  the  door,  wondering  why  so  many  lumbering  vehi- 
cles blocked  the  way.  Six  men  brought  a  great  chamber-organ  ;  a  brewer 
sent  several  barrels  of  ale  ;  a  grocer  sent  a  cart-load  of  potatoes.  Coach- 
makers,  clock-makers,  carpet-manufacturers,  confectioners,  wig-makers,  man- 
tuamakers,  opticians,  and  curiosity-dealers  followed  with  samples  of  their 
wares.  From  all  quarters  trooped  in  coachmen,  footmen,  cooks,  housemaids, 
and  nursery-maids,  in  quest  of  situations.  To  crown  all,  dignitaries  came  in 
their  carriages, — the  Commander-in-Chief,  the  Archbishop  of  Canterbury, 
the  Lord  Chief  Justice,  a  Cabinet  minister,  a  governor  of  the  Bank  of  Eng- 
land, and  the  Lord  Mayor.  The  latter — one  among  many  who  speedily  recog- 
nized that  all  had  been  the  victims  of  some  gigantic  hoax — drove  to  Marl- 
borough Street  police-office,  and  stated  that  he  had  received  a  letter  from  a 
lady  in  Berners  Street,  to  the  effect  that  she  had  been  summoned  to  attend  at 
the  Mansion  House,  that  she  was  at  death's  door,  that  she  wished  to  make  a 
deposition  upon  oath,  and  that  she  would  deem  it  a  great  favor  if  his  lordship 
would  call  upon  her.  The  other  dignitaries  had  been  appealed  to  in  a  similar 
way.  Police-officers  were  despatched  to  maintain  order  in  Berners  Street. 
They  found  it  choked  up  with  vehicles,  jammed  and  interlocked  one  with 
anothgf.  The  drivers  were  infuriated.  The  disappointed  tradesmen  were  clam- 
oring for  vengeance.  Some  of  the  vans  and  goods  were  overturned  and  broken  ; 
a  few  barrels  of  ale  had  fallen  a  prey  to  the  large  crowd  that  was  maliciously  en- 
joying the  fun.  All  day  and  far  into  the  night  this  state  of  things  continued. 
Meanwhile,  the  old  lady  and  the  inmates  of  adjoining  houses  were  in  abject 
terror.  Every  one  soon  saw  that  a  hoax  had  been  perpetrated,  but  Hook's  con- 
nection with  it  was  not  discovered  till  long  afterwards.  He  had  noticed  the 
quietness  of  the  neighborhood,  and  had  laid  a  wager  with  a  brother-wag,  a  cer- 
tain Henry  Higginson,  who  afterwards  became  a  clergyman,  that  he  would  make 
Berners  Street  the  talk  of  all  London.  A  door-plate  had  furnished  him  with  Mrs. 
Tottingham's  name,  and  he  had  spent  three  days  in  writing  the  letters  which 
brought  the  crowd  to  her  door.  At  the  appointed  time  he  and  Mr.  Higginson 
had  posted  themselves  in  a  lodging  just  opposite,  which  he  had  rented  for  the 
purpose  of  enjoying  the  scene.  He  deemed  it  expedient,  however,  to  go  off 
quickly  into  the  country  and  there  remain  iiicog.  for  a  time.  Had  he  been 
publicly  known  as  the  author  of  the  outrageous  hoax,  he  might  have  fared 
badly. 

But  perhaps  the  most  gigantic  hoax  ever  perpetrated  was  that  known  to 
history  as  the  Great  Bottle  Hoax. 

Early  in  the  year  1749  a  distinguished  company  of  Englishmen  were  dis- 
cussing the  question  of  human  gullibility.  Among  them  were  the  Duke  of 
Portland  and  the  Earl  of  Chesterfield. 

•'  I  will  wager,"  said  the  duke,  "  that  let  a  man  advertise  the  most  impos- 


476  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

sible  thing  in  the  world,  he  will  find  fools  enough  in  London  to  fill  a  play- 
house and  pay  handsomely  for  the  privilege  of  being  there." 

"  Surely,"  returned  the  earl,  "  if  a  man  should  say  that  he  would  jump  into 
a  quart  bottle,  nobody  would  believe  that." 

At  first  the  duke  was  staggered.  But  having  made  the  wager  he  held  to 
it.  The  jest  pleased  the  rest  of  the  company.  They  put  their  heads  together 
and  evolved  the  following  advertisement,  which  appeared  in  the  London 
papers  of  the  first  week  in  January  : 

At  the  New  Theatre  in  the  Havmarket,  on  Monday  next,  the  i6th  instant,  is  to  be 
seen  a  Person  who  performs  the  several  most  surprising  things  following, — viz.,  ist.  He  takes 
a  common  walking  C.ine  from  any  of  the  Spectators,  and  thereupon  plays  the  music  of  every 
Instrument  now  in  use,  and  likewise  sings  to  surprising  perfection.  2dly.  He  presents  you 
■with  a  common  Wine  liottle,  which  any  of  the  spectators  may  first  examine ;  this  Bottle  is 
placed  on  a  Table  in  the  middle  of  the  Stage,  and  he  (without  any  equivocation)  goes  into  it, 
in  the  sight  of  all  the  Spectators,  and  sings  in  it ;  during  his  stay  in  the  bottle,  any  Person 
may  handle  it,  and  see  plainly  that  it  does  not  exceed  a  common  Tavern  Bottle.  Those  on 
the  Stage,  or  in  the  Boxes,  may  come  in  masked  habits  (if  agreeable  to  them) ;  and  the  per- 
former, if  desired,  will  inform  them  who  they  are.  Stage,  ts.  i>d.  Boxes,  5^.  Pit,  y.  Gal- 
lery, 7.S.  Tickets  to  be  had  at  the  Theatre.  To  begin  a  half  an  hour  after  six  o'clock.  The 
pertormance  continues  about  two  hours  and  a  half. 

Note. — If  any  Gentlemen  or  Ladies  (after  the  above  Performance),  either  single  or  in  com- 
pany, in  or  out  of  mask,  is  desirous  of  seeing  a  representation  of  any  deceased  Person,  such 
as  Husband  or  Wife,  Sister  or  Brother,  or  any  intimate  Friend  of  either  sex,  upon  making  a 
gratuity  to  the  Performer,  shall  be  gratified  by  seeing  and  conversing  with  them  for  some 
minutes,  as  if  alive  ;  likewise,  if  desired,  he  will  tell  you  your  most  secret  thoughts  in  your 
Past  life,  and  give  you  a  full  view  of  persons  who  have  injured  you,  whether  dead  or  alive. 
For  those  Gentlemen  and  Ladies  who  are  desirous  of  seeing  this  last  part,  there  is  a  private 
Room  provided. 

These  performances  have  been  seen  by  most  of  the  crowned  Heads  of  Asia,  Africa,  and 
Europe,  and  never  appeared  public  anywhere  but  once ;  but  will  wait  on  any  at  their  Houses, 
and  perform  as  above  for  five  Pounds  each  time.  A  proper  guard  is  appointed  to  prevent 
disorder. 

• 

The  public  rose  to  the  bait  like  a  huge  gudgeon.  The  duke's  wildest  ex- 
pectations were  more  than  realized.  For  days  all  London  was  talking  of  the 
man  who  was  going  to  jump  into  a  quart  bottle.  On  the  appointed  night  the 
theatre  was  crowded  to  suffocation.  Every  box,  every  seat  in  the  pit  and  in 
the  gallery,  was  taken.  Standing-room  was  at  a  premium.  The  appointed 
hour  came,  and  still  there  was  no  sign  of  the  expected  performance ;  not  even 
a  fiddle  had  been  provided  to  keep  the  audience  in  good  humor.  Evidence 
of  impatience  had  already  been  manifested.  Now  the  vast  audience  burst 
into  groans,  catcalls,  and  other  cries,  emphasized  by  the  pounding  of  canes 
and  stamping  of  feet.  At  last  a  person  appeared  on  the  stage.  With  bows 
and  scrapes  and  profuse  apologies  he  protested  that  if  the  performer  did  not 
appear  within  a  quarter  of  an  hour  the  money  would  be  refunded  at  the 
doors.  There  were  more  groans  and  hisses.  A  wag  in  the  pit  shouted  that 
if  the  ladies  and  gentlemen  would  give  double  price  he  would  crawl  into  a 
pint  bottle.  This  sally  restored  good  humor  for  the  nonce.  But  scarcely  had 
the  quarter  of  an  hour  elapsed,  when  a  gentleman  in  one  of  the  boxes  seized 
a  lighted  candle  and  threw  it  on  the  stage.  It  was  the  signal  for  a  general 
outbreak.  The  mob  rose  en  masse,  tore  up  the  seats  and  benches,  and  pro- 
ceeded to  demolish  everything  within  reach.  Ladies  shrieked,  their  escorts 
fought  for  an  exit  through  the  infuriated  crowd.  Such  were  the  hurry  and 
scramble  that  wigs,  hats,  cloaks,  and  dresses  were  left  behind  and  lost.  Mean- 
while, the  building  had  been  almost  gutted.  Everything  portable  was  carried 
into  the  street  and  made  into  a  mighty  bonfire,  over  which  the  curtain,  torn 
from  its  hangings  and  hoisted  upon  a  pole,  was  waved  by  way  of  a  flag.  The 
box-receipts  were  made  away  with. 

Now,  in  those  days  Foote  was  the  wickedest  wag  in  the  town.  Of  course 
he  was  suspected  of  having  originated  the  hoax.     He  indignantly  disclaimed 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  477 

the  responsibility.  He  had  even,  he  averred,  warned  Mr.  John  Potter,  the 
proprietor  of  the  play-house,  that  he  thought  a  fraud  on  the  public  was  in- 
tended. Then  the  public  rage  'turned  upon  Potter.  But  it  was  evident  that 
Potter,  too,  was  innocent.  A  strange  man  had  made  all  the  arrangements  for 
letting  the  theatre  on  behalf  of  the  conjurer.  On  the  night  of  the  perform- 
ance, Potter  had  allowed  no  one  to  handle  the  receipts  save  his  own  servants, 
and  he  would  have  returned  them,  as  announced  from  the  stage,  only  the 
house  was  sacked  and  the  receipts  stolen. 

All  attempts  failed  to  discover  the  origin  of  the  hoax,  and  not  until  many 
years  after  did  the  secret  leak  out. 

Meanwhile  the  wits  of  the  town  would  not  let  the  matter  drop.  They  issued 
pamphlets  ridiculing  the  gullibility  of  the  public;  they  printed  humorous  ex- 
planations of  the  conjurer's  failure  to  appear;  they  taxed  their  brains  in  the 
effort  to  produce  advertisements  of  performances  as  outrageously  impossible 
as  the  now  famous  bottle  trick. 

It  was  asserted  by  one  paper  that  the  conjurer  had  been  ready  and  willing 
to  appear  on  the  fatal  night,  but  just  prior  to  the  performance  a  gentleman 
begged  him  for  a  private  view.  The  conjurer  consented  to  crawl  into  a  bottle 
for  five  pounds.  The  moment  he  had  done  so  the  gentleman  played  on  the 
unhappy  conjurer  the  same  trick  which  the  fisherman  in  the  "  Arabian  Nights" 
found  so  efficacious  with  the  genie.  He  quietly  corked  up  the  bottle,  whipped 
it  in  his  pocket,  and  made  off.  "  Thus  the  poor  man  being  bit  himself,  in  being 
confined  in  the  Bottle  and  in  a  Gentleman's  Pocket,  could  not  be  in  another 
Place  ;  for  he  never  advertised  he  would  go  into  two  Bottles  at  one  and  the 
same  time.  He  is  still  in  the  Gentleman's  custody,  who  uncorks  him  now  and 
then  to  feed  him  ;  but  his  long  confinement  has  so  damped  his  Spirits  that 
instead  of  singing  and  dancing  he  is  perpetually  crying  and  cursing  his  ill 
Fate.  But  though  the  Town  have  been  disappointed  of  seeing  him  go  into 
the  Bottle,  in  a  few  days  they  will  have  the  pleasure  of  seeing  him  come  out 
of  the  Bottle;  of  which  timely  notice  will  be  given  in  the  daily  Papers." 

Here  is  an  advertisement  that  appeared  on  January  27,  1749: 

DON  JOHN  DE  NASAQUITINE,  sworn  Brother  and  Companion  to  the  Man  that  was 
to  have  jumped  into  the  Bottle  at  the  Little  Theatre  in  the  Haymarket  on  Monday  the  i6th 
past,  hereby  invites  all  such  as  were  then  disappointed  to  repair  to  the  Theatre  aforesaid  on 
Monday  the  30th,  and  that  shall  be  exhibited  unto  them  which  never  has  heretofore  nor 
ever  will  be  hereafter  seen.  All  such  as  shall  swear  upon  the  Book  of  Wisdom  that  they  paid 
for  seeing  the  Bottle  Man  will  be  admitted  gratis  ;  the  rest  at  Gotham  prices. 

Here  is  another : 

THE  MOST  WONDERFUL  AND  SURPRISING  DOCTOR  BENIMBE  ZAM- 
MANPOANGO,  Oculist  and  Body  Surgeon  to  Emperor  Monoemungi,  who  will  perform  on 

Sunday  next  at  the  Little  T in  the  Haymarket  the  following  surprising  Operations, — viz.  : 

ist.  He  desires  any  one  of  the  Spectators  only  to  pull  out  his  own  Eyes,  which  as  soon  a-s  he  has 
done,  the  Doctor  will  show  them  to  any  Lady  or  Gentleman  then  present  to  convince  them 
there  is  no  Cheat,  and  then  replace  them  in  the  Sockets  as  perfect  and  entire  as  ever.  2dly. 
He  desires  any  officer  or  other  to  rip  up  his  own  Belly,  which  when  he  has  done,  he  (without 
any  Equivocation)  takes  out  his  Bowels,  washes  them,  and  returns  them  to  their  place,  with- 
out the   Person's  suffering  the  least  hurt,     adly.   He   opens  the  head   of  a  J •  of  P , 

takes  out  his  Brains,  and  exchanges  them  for  those  of  a  Calf,  the  Brains  of  a  Beau  for  those 
of  an  Ass,  and  the  Heart  of  a  Bully  for  that  of  a  Sheep ;  which  Operations  will  render  the 
Persons  more  sociable  and  rational  Creatures  than  they  ever  were  in  their  Lives.  And  to 
convince  the  Town  that  no  imposition  is  intended,  he  desires  no  Money  until  the  Performance 
is  over.     Boxes,  5  guin.     Pit,  3.     Gallery,  2. 

N.B. — The  famous  Oculist  will  be  there,  and  honest  S F H will  come  if  he 

can.  Ladies  may  come  masked,  so  may  Fribbles.  The  Faculty  and  Clergy  gratis.  The 
Orator  would  be  .here,  but  is  engaged." 

A  third  advertiser  announced  that  he  would  jump  down  his  own  throat,  a 
fourth  offered  to  change  himself  into  a  rattle,  a  fifth  to  shoot  himself  with  two 
pistols,  "  the  first  shot  to  be  directed  through  his  abdomen   to  which  will  be 


478  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

added  another  through  his  brain,  the  whole  to  conclude  with  staggering  con- 
vulsions, grinning,  etc.,  in  a  manner  never  before  publicly  attempted."  And 
so  on,  and  so  on.  Money  seems  to  have  been  as  plentiful  as  wit  in  those 
days,  and  those  who  had  money  were  glad  to  throw  it  away  to  see  their  wit 
in  print.  The  newspapers  were  probably  the  only  gainers  by  the  hoax.  At 
last  the  excitement,  having  continued  far  beyond  the  traditional  nine  days, 
burned  itself  out,  and  the  public  mind,  as  it  ever  must,  turned  to  other 
.things. 

Hobson's  Choice,  colloquial  English  for  no  choice  at  all,  an  alternative 
that  is  forced  upon  you,  to  tai<e  it  or  leave  it.  The  term  is  thus  explained  by 
Addison  :  "Tobias  Hobson  was  the  first  man  in  England  that  let  out  hackney- 
horses.  When  a  man  came  for  a  horse  he  was  led  into  the  stable,  where  there 
was  a  great  choice,  but  he  obliged  him  to  take  the  horse  which  stood  next  to 
the  stable  door,  so  that  every  customer  was  alike  well  served  according  to  his 
chance,  whence  it  became  a  proverb,  when  what  ought  to  be  your  election  was 
forced  upon  you,  to  say,  'Hobson's  choice.'"  (^Spectator,  No.  509.) 

To  the  above  it  may  be  added  that  Thomas  (not  Tobias,  as  Addison  and 
others  have  it)  Hobson  (1544-1631),  besides  his  livery  business,  was  for  sixty 
years  a  carrier  between  London  and  Cambridge,  conveying  to  and  from  the 
university  letters  and  packages  as  well  as  passengers.  Though  he  had  grown 
to  be  one  of  the  wealthiest  citizens  of  Cambridge,  generally  respected  for  his 
private  and  civic  virtues,  he  still  continued  to  drive  his  own  stage  until  the 
plague  in  London  stopped  all  traffic  between  the  metropolis  and  the  outside 
world.  A  few  months  later  he  died,  at  the  ripe  age  of  eighty-six.  His  death 
called  forth  many  tributes  from  members  of  the  university,  officers  and 
students,  among  them  two  poems  from  Milton,  then  an  undergraduate  at 
Christ's  College.  These  are  curious  as  being  the  only  extant  specimens  of 
Miltonic  humor.     They  ascribe  Hobson's  death  to  his  enforced  idleness : 

On  the  University  Carrier, 

Who  sickened  and  died  in  the  Time  of  his  Vacancy,  being  forbid  to  go  to  London  by  reason 
of  the  Plague. 
Here  lies  old  Hobson.     Death  hath  broke  his  girt. 
And  here,  alas,  hath  laid  him  in  the  dirt ; 
Or  else  the  ways  being  foul,  twenty  to  one 
He's  here  stuck  in  a  slough  and  overthrown. 
'Twas  such  a  shifter,  that,  if  truth  were  known, 
Death  was  half  glad  when  he  had  got  him  down ; 
For  he  had,  any  time  this  ten  years  full. 
Dodged  with  him  betwixt  Cambridge  and  "  The  Bull." 
And  surely  Death  could  never  have  prevailed. 
Had  not  his  weekly  course  of  carriage  failed  ; 
But  lately,  finding  him  so  long  at  home. 
And  thinking  now  his  journey's  end  was  come. 
And  that  he  had  ta'en  up  his  latest  inn. 
In  the  kind  office  of  a  chamberlin 

Showed  him  his  room  where  he  must  lodge  that  night. 
Pulled  off  his  boots,  and  took  away  the  light. 
If  any  ask  for  him,  it  shall  be  said, 
"  Hobson  has  supped,  and  's  newly  gone  to  bed." 
January,  1631. 

Another  on  the  Same. 

Here  lieth  one  who  did  most  truly  prove 

That  he  could  never  die  while  he  could  move; 

So  hung  his  destiny,  never  to  rot 

While  he  might  still  jog  on  and  keep  his  trot ; 

Made  of  sphere-metal,  never  to  decay 

Until  his  revolution  was  at  stay. 

Time  numbers  motions,  yet  (without  a  crime 

'Gainst  old  truth)  motion  numbered  out  his  time ; 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  479 

And,  like  an  engine  moved  with  wheel  and  weight, 
His  principles  being  ceased,  he  ended  straight. 
Rest,  that  gives  all  men  life,  gave  him  his  death. 
And  too  much  breathing  put  him  out  of  breath  ; 
Nor  were  it  contradiction  to  affirm. 
Too  long  vacation  hastened  on  his  term. 
Merely  to  drive  the  time  away  he  sickened. 
Fainted,  and  died,  nor  would  with  ale  be  quickened. 
"  Nay,"  quoth  he,  on  his  swooning  bed  outstretched, 
"  If  1  mayn't  carry,  sure  I'll  ne'er  be  fetched, 
But  vow,  though  the  cross  doctors  all  stood  hearers. 
For  one  carrier  put  down  to  make  six  bearers." 
Ease  was  his  chief  disease  ;  and  to  judge  right. 
He  died  for  heaviness  that  his  cart  went  light ; 
His  leisure  told  him  that  his  time  was  come. 
And  lack  of  load  made  his  life  burdensome, 
That  even  to  his  last  breath  (there  be  that  say  't), 
As  he  were  pressed  to  death,  he  cried,  "  More  weight." 
But  had  his  doings  lasted  as  they  were, 
He  had  been  an  immortal  carrier. 
Obedient  to  the  moon,  he  spent  his  date 
In  course  reciprocal,  and  had  his  fate 
Linked  to  the  mutual  flowing  of  the  seas ; 
Yet  (strange  to  think)  his  wain  was  his  increase. 
His  letters  are  delivered  all,  and  gone, 
Only  remains  this  superscription. 
January,  1631. 

In  George  Eliot's  "  Middlemarch,"  Mrs.  Cadwallader  makes  the  astute 
■remark,  "  A  woman's  choice  usually  means  taking  the  only  man  she  can  get." 

Hocus-Pocus,  or  Hokey-Pokey,  a  slang  term  for  charlatanism  or  jug- 
glery. Tillotson's  derivation  is  still  accepted  as  a  possibility  by  etymologists  : 
"Those  common  juggling  words  of  hocus-pocus  are  nothing  else  but  a  corrup- 
tion of  hoc  est  corpus,  by  way  of  ridiculous  imitation  of  the  priests  of  the 
Church  of  Rome  in  their  trick  of  transubstantiation."  ( Works,  vol.  i.,  Serm. 
26.)  But  Nares  thinks  the  expression  is  taken  from  the  Italian  jugglers,  who 
said  "  Ochus  Bochus,"  in  reference  to  a  famous  magician  of  those  days.  In  the 
Mirror,  vol.  xxi.,  there  is  a  reference  to  this  gentleman  :  "  Ochus  Bochus  was 
a  magician  and  demon  among  the  Saxons,  dwelling  in  forest  and  caves,  and 
we  have  his  name  and  abode  handed  down  to  the  present  day  in  Somerset- 
shire (viz.,  Wokey  Hole,  near  Wells)."  Nevertheless,  Skeat  looks  upon  the 
word  as  a  mere  jingling  reduplication.  Hokos-Pokos  is  the  name  of  the  jug- 
gler in  Ben  Jonson's  "Magnetic  Lady"  (1632),  and  the  word  appears  in  an 
earlier  play  by  the  same  author,  "The  Staple  of  News"  (1625):  "Iniquity 
came  in  like  hokos-pokos  in  a  juggler's  jerkin,  with  false  skirts  like  the  knave 
of  clubs." 

Hodge-Podge,  or  Hotch-Potch,  as  the  lexicographers  (with  commend- 
able caution)  say,  is  a  confused  mass  of  ingredients  shaken  or  mixed  together 
in  the  same  pot  (Fr.  hocher,  "  to  shake,"  +  pot).  If  anybody  wants  to  know 
what  are  the  ingredients  shaken  in  a  confused  mass,  what  is  in  the  pot,  let 
him  take  a  warning  from  an  experience  of  the  late  Prince  Consort,  and  curb 
his  curiosity  : 

During  the  earlier  visits  of  the  royal  family  to  Balmoral,  Prince  Albert,  dressed  in  a  very 
simple  manner,  was  crossing  one  of  the  Scotch  lakes  in  a  steamer,  and  was  curious  to  note 
everything  relating  to  the  management  of  the  vessel,  and,  among  other  things,  cooking. 
Approaching  the  "  galley,"  where  a  brawny  Highlander  was  attending  to  the  culinary  matters, 
he  was  attracted  by  the  savory  odors  of  a  compound  known  by  Scotchmen  as  "  hodge-podge," 
which  the  Highlander  was  preparing. 

"  What  is  that?"  asked  the  prince,  who  was  not  known  to  the  cook. 

"  Hodge-podge,  sir,"  was  the  reply. 

''  How  is  it  made  ?"  was  the  next  question. 

■'  Why,  there's  mutton  intil't,  and  tiurnips  intil't,  and  cairots  intil't,  and " 


48o  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

"  Yes,  yes,"  said  the  prince,  who  had  not  learned  that  "  intil't"  meant  "  into  it,"  "  but  what 
is  intil't?" 

"  Why,  there's  mutton  intil't,  and  turnips  intil't,  and  cairots  intil't,  and " 

"  Yes,  I  see  ;  but  what  is  intil't?" 

The  man  looked  at  him,  and,  seeing  that  the  prince  was  serious,  he  replied, — 

"  There's  mutton  intil't,  and  turnips  intil't,  and " 

"  Yes,  certainly,  I  know,"  urged  the  inquirer;  "  but  what  is  intil't — intil't?" 

"  Ye  daft  gowk !"  yelled  the  Highlander,  brandishing  his  big  spoon,  "  am  I  no  telling  ye 
what's  intil't?     There's  mutton  intil't,  and " 

Here  the  interview  was  brought  to  a  close  by  one  of  the  prince's  suite,  who  was  fortunately 
passing,  and  stepped  in  to  save  his  royal  highness  from  being  rapped  over  the  head  with  the 
big  spoon. 

Hog.  To  go  the  •whole  hog.  This  phrase  probably  arose  from  the 
Arabian  story  versified  in  Cowper's  "Love  of  the  World  Reproved." 
Mohammed  allowed  his  followers  to  eat  pork,  except  one  portion  of  the  animal, 
which  he  did  not  specify,  and  consequently  strict  Mohammedans  were  debarred 
from  eating  any.  Others,  however,  through  one  piece  being  forbidden, 
Thought  it  hard 
From  the  whole  hog  to  be  debarred, 

and  so,  one  taking  a  leg,  another  a  shoulder,  and  so  on, 

With  sophistrj'  their  sauce  they  sweeten. 
Till  quite  from  tail  to  snout  'tis  eaten. 

Analogous  expressions  in  English  are  "  In  for  a  penny,  in  for  a  pound," 
•'  As  good  be  hanged  for  a  sheep  as  for  a  lamb,"  "  Neck  or  nothing,  for  the 
king  loves  no  cripple,"  "Make  a  spoon  or  spoil  a  horn,"  and  "Over  shoes, 
over  boots  ;"  in  Scotch,  "  Ne'er  go  to  the  de'il  wi'  a  dish-clout  in  your  hands  ;" 
in  German,  "  It  is  all  the  same  whether  one  has  both  legs  in  the  stocks  or 
one  ;"  in  Italian,  "  It  is  the  first  shower  that  wets  ;"  and  in  French,  "  There  is 
nothing  like  being  bespattered  for  making  one  defy  the  slough."  When 
Madame  de  Cornuel  remonstrated  with  a  court  lady  on  certain  improprieties 
of  conduct,  the  latter  exclaimed,  "  Oh,  do  let  me  enjoy  the  benefit  of  my  bad 
reputation  !" 

Hog  not  bacon  until  hung.  In  the  opening  chapter  of  Sir  Walter 
Scott's  "  Ivanhoe"  is  an  edifying  conversation  between  Wamba  the  fool  and 
Gurth  the  swineherd,  in  which  the  peculiarity  of  the  English  language  is 
enlarged  upon,  that  it  calls  the  dressed  or  cured  meat  by  a  different  name  from 
that  of  the  animal  from  which  it  came,  as  ox  =  beef,  calf  =  veal,  etc.,  as  though 
by  being  properly  dressed  and  hung  up  it  becomes  something  more  exalted> 
Latinized  from  a  Saxon  villein  into  a  Norman  courtier  : 

"Why,  how  call  you  these  grunting  brutes  running  about  on  their  four  legs  ?"  demanded 
Wamba. 

"  Swine,  fool,  swine,"  said  the  herd  ;   "  every  fool  knows  that." 

"  And  swine  is  good  Saxon,"  said  the  jester  ;  "  but  how  call  you  the  sow  when  she  is  flayed, 
and  drawn,  and  quartered,  and  hung  up  by  the  heels,  like  a  traitor?" 

"  Pork,"  answered  the  swineherd. 

"  1  am  very  glad  every  fool  knows  that,  too,"  said  Wamba,  "and  pork,  I  think,  is  good 
Norman  French  ;  and  so  when  the  brute  lives,  and  is  in  charge  of  a  Saxon  slave,  she  goes  by 
her  Saxon  name ;  but  becomes  a  Norman,  and  is  called  pork,  when  she  is  carried  to  the  castle 
hall  to  feast  among  the  nobles:  what  dost  thou  think  of  this,  friend  Gurth,  ha?" — Ivanhoe, 
ch.  i. 

This  pleasantry  is  older  than  Scott.  In  his  "  Apothegms"  Francis  Bacon 
relates  an  anecdote  of  his  father,  Sir  Nicholas  Bacon,  who  when  about  passing 
sentence  on  a  malefactor  was  "  mightily  importuned"  by  the  latter  "  for  to  save 
his  life," — 


Which,  when  nothing  that  he  said  did  avail,  he  at  length  desired  his  mercy  on  account  of 
kindred.  "  Prithee,"  said  my  lord  judge,  "how  came  that  in?"  "Why,  if  it  please  you, 
my  lord,  your  name  is  Bacon  and  mine  is  Hog,  and  in  all  ages  Hog  and  Bacon  have  been  so 
near  kindred  that  they  are  not  to  be  separated."     "  Ay,  but,"  replied  Judge  Bacon,  "  you  and 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  48 1 

I  cannot  be  kmdred  except  you  be  hanged ;  for  Hog  is  not  Bacon  until  it  be  well  hanged."— 
Bacon  :  Apotheg^ns,  36. 

Shakespeare  may  have  had  an  adumbration  of  this  jest  when  h^  lets  Mrs. 
Quickly  say, — 

"  Hang-hog"  is  Latin  for  bacon,  I  warrant  you. 

Merry  Wives  of  Windsor,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  i. 

It  may  be  added  that  the  parallelism  between  Judge  Bacon's  jest  and  Mrs. 
Quickly's  exclamation  is  one  of  the  proofs  advanced  for  their  theory  by  the 
Baconians.  A  similar  play  upon  words  was  made  by  Curran.  One  day  at 
dinner  he  sat  opposite  Lord  Norbury,  who  was  famous  for  his  severity  as  a 
judge.  "  Curran,"  asked  Norbury,  "  is  that  hung  beef  before  you  ?"  "  You 
try  it,  my  lord,"  answered  Curran,  "and  it's  sure  to  be." 

Hoist  ■with  his  o-wn  petard,  to  be  defeated  by  one's  own  device, 
caught  in  one's  own  trap.  The  petard  was  an  iron  canister  filled  with  gun- 
powder, used  for  blowing  up  gates,  barricades,  etc.  The  danger  was  lest  the 
engineer  who  fired  the  petard  should  be  blown  up  with  his  own  explosion. 

Let  it  work ; 
For  'tis  the  sport  to  have  the  enginer 
Hoist  with  his  own  petard,  and  it  shall  go  hard 
But  I  will  delve  one  yard  below  their  mines. 
And  blow  them  at  the  moon. 

Hamlet,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  4. 

Holy  Alliance,  a  league  of  the  sovereigns  of  Europe,  proposed  by  the 
Emperor  of  Russia,  September  2^,  1815,  after  the  final  overthrow  of  Napo- 
leon  at  Waterloo,  and  founded  upon  the  idea  that  religion  should  be  made 
the  basis  of  politics,  and  that  thereafter  the  affairs  of  Europe  should  be  regu- 
lated by  the  principles  of  Christian  charity.  The  act  establishing  the  alliance 
was  signed  by  Alexander,  Francis  of  Austria,  and  Frederick  William  of 
Prussia,  and  the  treaty  was  formally  promulgated  in  the  Frankfort  Journal, 
February  2,  1816.  The  kings  of  England  and  France  acceded  to  it  in  1818, 
and  at  a  congress  held  at  Aachen  a  declaration  of  the  five  monarchs  was 
issued,  stating  that  the  objects  of  the  alliance  were  peace  and  legitimate  stabil- 
ity. Principles  of  such  vague  import  soon  made  the  league  an  instrument  of 
oppression,  and  it  presently  became  little  more  than  a  conspiracy  of  the  mon- 
archs against  the  liberties  of  the  peoples,  and  the  symbol  of  reaction.  In  its 
name  Austria,  in  1821,  crushed  the  aspirations  of  the  Piedmontese  for  inde- 
pendence, and  stamped  out  the  rising  in  the  kingdom  of  Naples  in  1823. 
France  intervened  in  Spain,  aiding  in  the  re-establishment  of  absolutism  in 
that  country.  Subsequently  France  and  England  withdrew  from  the  alliance, 
after  which  it  became  the  mere  shadow  of  a  name.  By  a  special  article  of 
the  treaty,  members  of  the  Bonaparte  family  were  forever  excluded  from  oc- 
cupying any  European  throne. 

Holy  City,  a  designation  given  by  various  peoples  to  that  city  which  is 
peculiarly  identified  with,  as  the  centre  of,  their  religious  faith,  and  generally 
the  objective  point  of  devout  pilgrimages.  Thus,  Allahabad  is  the  Holy  City 
of  the  Indian  Mohammedans,  Benares  of  the  Brahmanical  Hindus,  Jerusalem 
of  the  Christians  and  Jews,  Mecca  of  all  Mohammedans,  and  Moscow  of  the 
Russians.  In  the  time  of  the  Incas  in  Peru  the  name  was  given  to  Cuzco, 
where  there  was  a  great  temple  of  the  sun,  to  which  pilgrims  resorted  from 
the  farthest  ends  of  the  empire. 

Holy  League,  the  name  of  several  important  and  historical  combina- 
tions. The  earliest  was  that  formed  in  1508  between  Louis  XII.  of  France, 
Maximilian  I.,  Emperor  of  Germany,  Ferdinand  V.  of  Spain,  and  several 
Italian  princes,  at  the  instance  of  Pope  Julius  II.  (whence  its  name  Holy 
League),  and  directed  against  the  republic  of  Venice.  By  it  Venice  was  com- 
V        #  17 


482  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

pelled  to  abandon  her  possessions  in  the  kingdom  of  Naples  to  the  Spanish 
crown.  The  next  was  a  treaty  concluded  in  1533  between  Pope  Clement  VII., 
the  Venetians,  Francesco  Maria  Sforza,  Duke  of  Milan,  and  Francis  I.  of 
France,  to  compel  the  Emperor  Charles  V.  to  re-establish  Sforza  in  Milan  and 
to  release  the  French  king's  son,  who  was  his  prisoner,  on  the  payment  of  a 
reasonable  ransom.  It  was  so  called  because  the  Pope  stood  at  the  head  of 
the  league.  Another  was  a  politico-religious  association  formed  in  France  in 
1576,  in  the  reign  of  Henry  III.,  under  the  auspices  of  Henri,  Due  de  Guise, 
"  for  the  defence  of  the  Holy  Catholic  Church  against  the  encroachments  of 
the  Reformers."  Its  political  object  was  to  prevent  the  accession  of  Henry 
IV.  and  to  place  the  Duke  of  Guise  on  the  French  throne.  The  Pope  gave 
it  his  sanction,  but  its  reliance  was  upon  Philip  II.  of  Spain. 

Holy  Roman  Empire,  the  name  of  the  Germanic  empire  of  the  Middle 
Ages,  by  a  fiction  supposed  to  be  a  continuation  of  the  universal  domin- 
ion of  the  Romans,  and  the  Kaisers  the  successors  to  the  world-wide  sover- 
eignty of  the  Caesars.  Charlemagne  was  crowned  Emperor  of  the  West  by 
Pope  Leo  HI.  in  800  a.d.  In  962,  Otho  the  Great  was  crowned  as  Emperor 
of  the  Romans  by  Pope  John  XII.,  and  the  "  Holy  Roman  Empire  of  the 
German  Nation"  formally  proclaimed.  The  fiction  was  continued  under  one 
form  or  another  and  through  many  vicissitudes,  which  belong  to  the  domain 
of  history, — the  empire  and  the  power  of  the  imperial  overlord  becoming 
more  and  more  mythical. 

When  Voltaire  directed  his  shafts  of  ridicule  against  this  empire  which  was 
no  empire,  and  whose  other  characteristics  were,  as  he  said,  twofold, — viz.,  it 
was  neither  holy  nor  Roman, — it  had,  in  fact,  long  been  practically  extinct. 

Napoleon  was  crowned  Emperor  of  the  French  in  1804,  and  finally  even 
the  shadow  of  the  unholy  and  un-Roman  thing  vanished  in  the  sun  of  Auster- 
litz.  With  the  renunciation  by  Francis  II.  of  the  imperial  crown  and  title, 
August  6,  1S06,  came  the  end. 

Homie,  No  place  like.  These  words  occur  in  John  Howard  Payne's 
famous  song  "  Home,  Sweet  Home,"  which  originally  formed  a  part  of  his 
opera,  "Clari,  the  Maid  of  Milan  :" 

'Mid  pleasures  and  palaces  though  we  may  roam. 
Be  it  ever  so  humble,  there's  no  place  like  home ; 
A  charm  from  the  skies  seems  to  hallow  us  there. 
Which,  sought  through  the  world,  is  ne'er  met  with  elsewhere. 

An  exile  from  home,  splendor  dazzles  in  vain, 
Oh,  give  me  my  lowly  thatched  cottage  again  ; 
"The  birds  singing  gayly,  that  came  at  my  call. 
Give  me  them,  and  that  peace  of  mind  dearer  than  all. 

Payne  may  have  had  in  mind  the  popular  proverb  found  in  this  form  in 
Clarke's  "  Parcemiologia"  (1639),  p.  loi  : 

Home  is  home,  though  it  be  never  so  homely. 
There  is  a  faint  likeness  also  in  the  following  lines : 
If  solid  happiness  we  prize. 
Within  our  breast  this  jewel  lies. 
And  they  are  fools  who  roam. 
The  world  has  nothing  to  bestow ; 
From  our  own  selves  our  joys  must  flow. 
And  that  dear  hut,  our  home. 

Nathaniel  Cotton  :   The  Fireside,  Stanza  3. 

Popular  proverbs  express  the  same  thought  with  a  pathetic  simplicity  and 
tenderness,  especially  the  exquisite  Italian  one,  which  can  be  only  rudely 
translated : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  483 

Casa  mia,  casa  mia, 
Per  piccina  che  tu  sia, 
Tu  mi  sembri  una  badia. 

("  My  home,  my  home, 
Tiny  though  thou  be, 
Thou  seemest  an  abbey  to  me.") 

"To  every  bird  its  nest  is  fair"  is  found  both  in  Italian  and  in  French. 
"The  smoke  of  my  own  house,"  says  the  Spanish,  "is  better  than  the  fire  of 
another's."  And  almost  every  modern  language  has  the  equivalent  of  "  Every 
cock  is  proud  on  his  own  dunghill,"  a  proverb  which  has  descended  to  us 
from  the  Romans.  Seneca  quotes  it  thus  :  "  Gallus  in  suo  sterquilinio  pluri- 
mum  potest."  Its  mediaeval  form,  "Gallus  cantat  in  suo  sterquilinio,"  was 
probably  in  Napoleon's  mind  when  he  rejected  the  Gallic  cock  as  the  imperial 
emblem,  saying,  "  No  :  it  is  a  bird  that  crows  upon  a  dunghill."  Here  are  a 
couple  of  modern  forms  : 

A  dog  is  stout  on  his  own  dunghill. — French. 

Every  dog  is  a  lion  at  home. — Italian. 
And  as  a  counterpart, — 

The  fierce  ox  grows  tame  on  strange  ^onuA..— Portuguese. 

Two  parallel  passages  in  two  great  English  poets  strikingly  depict  the 
wretchedness  of  the  homeless  outcast : 

And  homeless,  near  a  thousand  homes,  I  stood, 
And,  near  a  thousand  tables,  pined  and  wanted  food. 

Wordsworth  :  Guilt  and  Sorrow. 

Alas  for  the  rarity 

Of  Christian  charity 
Under  the  sun ! 

Oh,  it  was  pitiful ! 

Near  a  whole  city  full. 
Home  she  had  none. 

Hood  :  The  Bridge  of  Sighs. 
Yet,  oddly  enough,  it  is  to  the  homeless  that  the  world  owes  some  of  its 
dearest  descriptions  of  home.  John  Howard  Payne,  himself,  says,  "How 
often  have  I  been  in  the  heart  of  Paris,  Berlin,  London,  or  some  other  city, 
and  have  heard  persons  singing  or  heard  organs  playing  'Home,  Sweet 
Home,'  without  having  a  shilling  to  buy  myself  the  next  meal  or  a  place  to 
lay  my  head  !  The  world  has  literally  sung  my  song  till  every  heart  is  familiar 
with  its  melody,  yet  I  have  been  a  wanderer  from  my  boyhood,  and,  in  my 
old  age,  have  to  submit  to  humiliation  for  my  bread."  "  How  contradictory  it 
seems,"  remarks  Washington  Irving,  in  his  "Life  of  Oliver  Goldsmith," 
"that  one  of  the  most  delightful  pictures  of  home  and  home-felt  happiness 
should  be  drawn  by  a  homeless  man  ;  that  the  most  amiable  picture  of  domes- 
tic virtue  and  all  the  endearments  of  the  married  state  should  be  drawn  by  a 
bachelor  who  had  been  severed  from  domestic  life  almost  from  boyhood  ;  that 
one  of  the  most  tender,  touching,  and  affecting  appeals  on  behalf  of  female 
loveliness  should  have  been  made  by  a  man  whose  deficiencies  m  all  the 
graces  of  person  and  manner  seemed  to  mark  him  out  for  a  cynical  disparager 
of  the  sex."  The  English  are  fond  of  asserting  that  the  French  language  has 
no  equivalent  for  the  word  home,  and  deduce  therefrom  the  moral  that  home 
life  is  unknown  to  the  French.  Mark  Twain  notices  this  slander  in  his  "  In- 
nocents Abroad  :"  "  They  say  there  is  no  word  for  '  home'  in  the  French  lan- 
guage. Well,  considering  that  they  have  the  article  itself  in  such  an  attractive 
aspect,  they  ought  to  manage  to  get  along  without  the  word.  Let  us  not 
waste  too  much  pity  on  'homeless'  France.  I  have  observed  that  Frenchmen 
abroad  seldom  wholly  give  up  the  idea  of  going  back,  to  France  some  time  or 
other.     I  am  not  surprised  at  it  now." 


484  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Max  O'Rell  has  made  a  still  more  effective  answer  to  the  charge  in  his 
"  Brother  Jonathan  :"  , 

I  was  not  greatly  surprised,  on  coming  to  America,  to  hear  that  home  life  hardly  existed  in 
France.  I  had  heard  that  before.  And  the  overpowering  reason  advanced  to  prove  this 
statement  was  that  time-honored  Anglo-Saxon  chestnut :  The  French  language  has  no  equiv- 
lent  for  the  English  word  home. 

How  glib  is  the  criticism  of  the  ignorant ! 

To  feel  the  whole  meaning  of  those  sweet  words  chez  soi,  chez  nous,  one  must  know  the 
language  they  form  part  of.  They  call  up  in  French  hearts  all  the  tender  feelings  evoked  by 
the  word  home  in  the  Anglo-Saxon  breast. 

How  many  English  or  American  people  have  an  inkling  of  their  value? 

Do  they  care  to  know  that  some  hundred  years  back  the  French  used  to  say  en  chez  (from 
the  Latin  in  casa,  at  home),  and  that  the  word  chez  was  a  noun?  That,  later  on,  they  took 
to  adding  a  pronoun,  saying,  for  example,  en  chez  nous  ;  and  that  the  people,  mistaking  the 
word  chez  for  a  preposition,  because  it  was  always  followed  by  a  noun  or  a  pronoun,  sup- 
pressed the  en,  so  that  now  the  French  language  has  lost  a  noun  for  home,  but  has  kept  a 
word,  chez,  which  to  this  very  day  has  all  its  significance?  What  an  idea  of  snugness,  hap- 
piness, is  conveyed  by  the  little  sentence  Restons  chez  nous  on  the  lips  of  a  young  couple ! 


Home  they  brought  her  warrior  dead,  the  first  line  of  a  song  without 
other  title  in  Tennyson's  "  Princess."  The  lady  who  could  find  no  tears  for 
the  crushing  blow  which  desolated  her  life  weeps  at  the  sight  of  her  infant 
child,  and  is  saved.  The  same  idea  occurs  in  Scott's  "Lay  of  the  Last 
Minstrel"  (Canto  i.,  Stanza  9) : 

O'er  her  warrior's  bloody  bier 

The  ladye  dropp'd  nor  flower  nor  tear. 

Until  amid  her  sorrowing  clan 

Her  son  lisp'd  from  the  nurse's  knee. 
****** 
Then  fast  the  mother's  tears  did  seek 
To  dew  the  infant's  kindling  cheek. 

The  climax  of  Tennyson's  poem — the  sudden  and  passionate  resolve  on  the 
part  of  the  bereaved  parent  to  live  for  the  child — closely  resembles  a  passage 
in  Darwin's  episode  of  "  Eliza"  in  the  "  Botanic  Garden."  There  the  mother 
has  been  slain  in  war,  the  young  husband  abandons  himself  to  despair,  but 
at  sight  of  his  two  little  children  he  exclaims,  like  Tennyson's  heroine, — 
These  bind  to  earth— for  these  I  pray  to  live. 

Home  Rulers,  a  name  more  particularly  applied  to  the  Irish  members  in  the 
British  Parliament,  under  the  leadership  of  Chartes  Stewart  Parnell,  from  their 
scheme  of  "  Home  Rule,"  whose  paramount  feature  is  the  establishment  of  a 
separate  national  parliament  for  Ireland  to  legislate  on  and  regulate  all  her 
internal  affairs,  with  full  control  over  Irish  resources,  revenues,  and  police, 
under  condition  only  of  contributing  a  just  proportion  to  imperial  expendi- 
ture ;  the  only  matters  excluded  from  its  jurisdiction  being  foreign  and  colonial 
questions  and  the  defence  of  British  possessions.  In  its  wider  sense  the  term 
includes  all  those  English,  Irish,  or  Scotch  who  favor  Home  Rule,  as  distin- 
guished from  their  opponents,  who  are  called  collectively  "  Unionists"  because 
they  favor  the  continuance  of  the  present  system  of  a  union  Parliament  of  the 
three  kingdoms  for  all  purposes. 

Homo  sum ;  humani  nihil  a  me  alienum  puto  (L.,  "  I  am  a  man,  and 
I  deem  nothing  human  alien  to  me"),  a  famous  line  in  Act  i.,  Sc.  i,  of  Ter- 
ence's "The  Self-Tormentor"  ("  Heauton-timorumenos").  St.  Augustine 
tells  us  that  at  these  words  the  whole  audience,  though  many  of  them  rude 
and  ignorant,  broke  out  into  thunders  of  applause.  And  well  they  might. 
For  it  was  the  first  important  literary  enunciation  of  the  great  doctrine  of  human 
brotherhood  which  in  later  ages  found  expression  in  the  "Am  I  not  a  man 
and  a  brother  ?"  of  Wilberforce,  and  the  "  All  men  are  created  equal"  of  the 
Declaration  of  Independence.    It  was  the  first  important  protest  against  castes, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  485 

aristocracies,  and  superiorities  of  all  kinds.  The  expression  of  Socrates^ 
sometimes  quoted  as  its  literary  ancestor,  "  I  am  neitlier  Athenian  nor  Greek, 
I  am  of  the  whole  world"  (see  First  an  tEngi.ishman), — this  expression  only 
foreshadows  its  cosmopolitan  but  hardly  its  humanitarian  meaning.  Far 
closer  is  Seneca's  imitation,  "  Homo  sacra  res  hominis"  (Epistles,  xcv.  33). 

An  amusing  variation  of  the  theme  is  supplied  by  the  vivacious  Max  O'Rell. 
In  "  Les  chers  Voisins,"  p.  285,  he  says,  "  A  Frenchman  feels  the  influence 
of  the  bean  sexe  to  such  a  degree  that  with  him  woman  is  a  fixed  idea.  It  is 
his  worship.  Parodying  the  verse  of  Terence,  he  says  to  himself,  'I  am  a 
man,  and  everything  that  concerns  womankind  interests  me.' " 

Honest — Honesty.  "  To  be  honest,  as  this  world  goes,"  says  Hamlet,  "  is 
to  be  one  man  picked  out  of  ten  thousand." 

An  honest  wise  man  is  a  prince's  mate, 
says  Fletcher,  in  the  "  Triumph  of  Love,"  and  elsewhere, — 

Man  is  his  own  star,  and  that  soul  that  can 

Be  honest  is  the  only  perfect  man. 

Pope's  version  is  better  known  : 

An  honest  man's  the  noblest  work  of  God. 
A  phrase  from  Defoe  may  be  added  :  "  An  honest  man  is  the  best  title  that 
can  be  given  in  the  world." 

The  modest  front  of  this  small  floor. 
Believe  me,  reader,  can  say  more 
Than  many  a  braver  marble  can, — 
"  Here  lies  a  truly  honest  man  !" 

Crash  AW  :  Epitaph  upon  Mr.  Ashton. 

Heinrich  Heine  says  of  Lafayette, — 

The  world  is  surprised  that  there  was  once  an  honest  man  ;  the  situation  remains  vacant. — 
Thoughts  and  Fancies. 

Honest  Injun,  in  colloquial  American,  is  equivalent  to  the  English  "honor 
bright,"  and  is  often  heard  among  school-boys  as  a  pledge  of  faith.  Originally, 
no  doubt,  the  reference  to  Indian  honesty  was  sarcastic 

Honesty  is  the  best  policy,  a  proverb  found  in  Cervantes, — "Don 
Quixote,"  Part  II.,  ch.  xxxiii., — but  probably  a  proverb  before  his  day.  It 
has  been  objected  that  he  who  acts  on  the  principle  is  no  honest  man.  In- 
deed, the  maxim  has  been  condemned  as  a  scoundrelly  saying,  which  would 
resolve  a  rule  of  right  into  a  question  of  expediency.  Trench's  gloss,  how- 
ever, is  good  common  sense.  "  Doubtless,"  says  the  Dean,  "  there  are  prov- 
erbs not  a  few  which,  like  this,  move  in  the  region  of  what  has  been  well 
called  '  prudential  morality  ;'  and  did  we  accept  them  as  containing  the  whole 
circle  of  motives  to  honesty  or  other  right  conduct,  nothing  could  be  worse, 
or  more  fitted  to  lower  the  moral  standard  of  our  lives.  He  who  resolves  to 
be  honest  because,  and  only  because,  it  is  the  best  policy,  will  be  little  likely 
long  to  continue  honest  at  all.  But  the  proverb  does  not  pretend  to  usurp  the 
place  of  an  ethical  rule  ;  it  does  not  presume  to  cast  down  the  higher  law 
which  should  determine  to  honesty  and  uprightness,  that  it  may  put  itself  in 
its  place  ;  it  only  declares  that  honesty,  let  alone  that  it  is  the  right  thing,  is 
also,  even  for  this  present  world,  the  wisest." 

Shakespeare  says, — 

No  legacy  is  so  rich  as  honesty. 

All's  Well  that  Ends  Well,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  5. 

Honey-moon,  the  first  month  of  marriage.    Among  the  northern  nations 
of  Europe  there  was  an  ancient   practice  for  newly-married  couples  to  drink 
metheglin,  or  mead,  a  kind  of  wine  made  from  honey  (hydromel),  for  thirty 
41* 


486  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

days  after  marriage.     Hence  the  term  honey-month  or  honey-moon.     Attila 
the  Hun  drank  so  much  mead  at  his  wedding-feast  that  he  died. 

Honi  soit  qui  mal  y  pense  ("  Shame" — or,  as  it  is  more  commonly 
though  erroneously  translated,  "  evil — to  him  who  evil  thinks"),  the  motto  of  the 
Order  of  the  Garter  and  of  the  Crown  of  England.  The  order  was  established 
by  Edward  IH.  on  April  23,  1349.  But  why  the  garter  was  selected  as  its 
name  and  symbol,  and  what  is  the  special  significance  of  the  motto,  have 
long  been  moot  questions  with  historians.  Camden  and  others  suggest  that 
as  Richard  Coeur  de  Lion  had  once  disUnguished  some  chosen  knights  by 
causing  them  to  tie  a  thong  or  garter  round  the  leg,  Edward  had  reminis- 
cently  given  his  own  garter  as  the  signal  for  a  battle,  probably  Crecy,  in 
which  he  was  successful.  Polydore  Virgil,  whose  history  appeared  in  1536, 
nearly  two  hundred  years  after  the  event,  is  the  first  authority  for  the  familiar 
story  that  the  Countess  of  Salisbury,  the  king's  mistress,  dropped  her  garter 
at  a  ball,  and  that  Edward  picked  it  up  and  handed  it  back  to  the  lady  with 
the  remark,  "  Honi  soit  qui  mal  y  pense,"  and  forthwith  founded  the  order. 
Polydore's  authority,  therefore,  is  no  authority  at  all.  It  is  extremely  unlikely 
that  such  an  incident  would  have  been  suppressed  by  Froissart,  who  makes 
no  mention  of  it,  though  he  relates  the  story  of  the  countess's  amour  with 
the  king.  The  motto,  it  may  be  added,  is  an  old  French  one  proverbial  in 
France  before  Edward's  day. 

Honor.  Everything  is  lost  save  honor,  the  famous  phrase  attributed 
to  Francis  I.,  King  of  France.  Guy  de  Maupassant  thus  comments  upon  it 
in  "  Sur  I'Eau :"  "  Francis  I.,  silly  though  he  was,  addicted  to  courtesans 
and  an  unfortunate  general,  has  saved  his  memory  and  surrounded  his  name 
with  an  imperishable  halo  by  writing  to  his  mother  those  few  superb  words 
after  the  defeat  at  Pavia  :  Tout  est  perdu,  inadame,  fors  rhonneur.  Does  not 
this  saying  to-day  seem  to  us  as  fine  as  a  victory .''  Has  it  not  illustrated  the 
prince  more  than  the  conquest  of  a  kingdom  ?  We  have  forgotten  the  names 
of  most  of  the  great  battles  fought  at  that  distant  epoch  ;  shall  we  ever  forget 
Tout  est  perdu,  fors  rhonneur 'f  Unfortunately,  Francis  I.  never  used  the 
phrase,  but  only  something  remotely  analogous,  which  formed  a  part  of  a  long 
letter  to  his  mother,  Louise  de  Savoie.  The  letter  itself  has  been  lost.  But 
his  mother's  reply,  which  makes  copious  quotations  from  the  letter,  was 
found  in  the  manuscript  registers  of  Parliament  and  published  in  1835.  From 
this  it  appears  that  the  king's  missive  began  with  the  words,  "  Nothing  remains 
to  me  but  honor  and  life  which  is  saved"  ("  De  toutes  choses  ne  m'est  demeure 
que  rhonneur  et  la  vie  qui  est  saulvee"). 

Three  days  after  the  battle  of  Waterloo,  Caulaincourt  exclaimed  to  Napo- 
leon at  the  palace  of  the  Elysee,  "  All  is  lost !"  "  Excepte  I'honneur,"  said 
Napoleon,  recognizing  the  cue. 

When  the  Comte  de  Provence  (afterwards  Louis  XVHL)  was  asked  to 
renounce  his  claim  to  the  French  throne,  he  is  reported  by  Bourrienne  to  have 
said  that  he  was  ignorant  of  the  designs  of  Providence,  but  he  knew  the  obli- 
gations of  his  rank;  as  a  Christian  he  would  perform  those  obligations  to  the 
last;  as  a  son  of  St.  Louis  he  would  respect  himself  even  in  chains;  as  the 
successor  of  Francis  L  he  would  say,  as  he  had  said,  "  Tout  est  perdu,  fors 
rhonneur."     {Memoirs  of  Napoleon,  vol.  ii.  ch.  xxvi.) 

"  What  is  left  when  honor  is  lost  ?"  is  the  265th  Maxim  of  Publius  Syrus. 
And  the  noble  lines  of  Richard  Lovelace  spring  at  once  to  the  mind  : 

I  could  not  love  thee,  dear,  so  much. 
Loved  I  not  honor  more. 

To  Lucasia,  on  Going  to  the  Wars. 

Honor   among  thieves.     Edmund  Burke,  in  his- great  speech  on  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  487 

impeachment  of  Warren  Hastings,  says,  "  You  see  how  they  are  bound  to 
one  another,  and  how  they  give  their  fidelity  to  keep  the  secrets  of  one  another 
to  prevent  the  directors  having  a  true  knowledge  of  their  affairs  ;  and  I  am 
sure  if  you  do  not  destroy  this  honor  among  conspirators  and  this  faith  among 
robbers  that  there  will  be  no  other  honor  and  no  other  fidelity  among  our 
servants  in  India."  The  proverb  is  far  older  than  Burke.  The  principle  in 
human  nature  upon  which  it  is  founded  has  been  a  fruitful  topic  with  students 
of  man.  John  Locke  remarks  of  justice  and  the  keeping  of  contracts  that  it  is 
a  principle  which  is  thought  to  extend  itself  to  the  dens  of  thieves  and  the 
confederacies  of  the  greatest  villains  : 

Justice  and  truih  are  the  common  ties  of  society,  and  therefore  even  outlaws  and  robbers, 
who  break  with  all  the  world  besides,  must  keep  rules  of  faith  and  equity  among  themselves, 
or  else  they  cannot  hold  together. 

Hazlitt  explains  that  honor  among  thieves  may  flourish  in  inverse  propor- 
tion to  their  honesty  towards  outsiders  ; 

Their  honor  consists  in  the  division  of  the  booty,  not  in  the  mode  of  acquiring:  they  do 
not  (often)  betray  one  another;  they  may  be  depended  on  in  giving  the  alarm  when  any  of 
their  posts  are  in  danger  of  being  surprised  ;  and  they  will  stand  together  for  their  ill-gotten 
gains  to  the  last  drop  of  their  blood. 

Sir  Walter  Scott  frequently  refers  to  this  principle.  "They  call  us  marau- 
ders, thieves,  and  what  not,"  says  the  jackman  in  "The  Monastery,"  "but  the 
side  we  take  we  hold  by."  And  he  paints  his  Borderers  as  severe  observers 
of  the  faith  which  they  have  pledged  to  an  enemy  : 

Even  the  wild  outlaw  in  his  forest  walk 

Keeps  yet  some  touch  of  civil  discipline ; 

For  not  since  Adam  wore  his  verdant  apron. 

Hath  man  with  man  in  social  union  dwelt. 

But  laws  were  made  to  draw  that  union  closer. 

To  this  a  parallel  may  be  found  in  Sheridan  Knowles's  "  Virginius  :" 
Well,  'tis  true. 
Dog  fights  with  dog,  but  honesty  is  not 
A  cur  that  baits  his  fellows,  and  e'en  dogs. 
By  habit  of  companionship,  abide 
In  terms  of  faith  and  cordiality. 
In  view  of  the  fact  that  honor  is  so  universal  among  thieves,  no  wonder 
Falstaff  thinks  things  have  come  to  a  pretty  pass  when  Poins  and  the  Prince, 
who  had  agreed  to  help  him  out  in  a  highway-robbery,  turn  round  and  play 
tricks  upon  him.     No  wonder  he  vows  to  give  up  thieving  altogether  and 
turn  honest :  "  A  plague  upon't,  when  thieves  cannot  be  true  to  one  another." 
Moody,  the  actor,  was  robbed  of  his  watch  and  money.     He  begged  the  highwayman  to 
let  him  have  cash  enough  to  carry  him  to  town,  and  the  fellow  replied,  "  Well,  Master  Moody, 
as  1  know  you,  I'll  lend  you  half  a  guinea ;  but,  remember,  honor  among  thieves  1"^^  A  few 
days  after  he  was  taken,  and  Moody,  hearing  that  he  was  at  "  The  Brown   Bear,"  in  the 
Strand,  went  to  inquire  after  his  watch  ;  but  when  he  began  to  speak  of  it,  the  fellow  exclaimed, 
"  Is  that  what  you  want  ?     I  thought  you  had  come  to  pay  the  half-guinea  you  borrowed 
of  me." 

Honorable  Bilk,  originally  an  English  phrase  to  designate  a  member  of 
Parliament  who,  being  a  fraudulent  creditor  (as  Dryden  used  the  word  "  bilk"), 
avails  himself  of  the  privilege  of  Parliament  in  regard  to  arrest  on  civil  process. 
The  term  has  somehow  found  its  way  to  California,  and  has  there  a  wider  ap- 
plication, describing  all  people  who  grovel  for  office  and  the  wages  of  office. 

Honors  change  manners,  a  familiar  English  proverb,  literally  translated 
from  the  mediaeval  Latin  "  Honores  mutant  mores,"  which  may  be  found  in 
the"Gesta  Romanorum,"  205,  App.  ix.,  and  in  Polydore  Virgil's  collection 
of  "  Adagia,"  Prov.  ccii.  In  the  form  "  Honors  should  change  manners"  it  is 
quoted  in  Camden's  "  Remains,"  p.  125,  ed.  1870,  and  in  Latin  in  Polydore 


488  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Virgil's  "  History  of  England,"  Book  xxii.,  where,  speaking  of  Henry  V.,  he 
says,  "  Hie  vir,  hie  fuit,  qui  a  primo  docuit  honores,  ut  est  in  proverbio,  debere 
mutare  honores"  ("This  man  it  was  who  from  the  first  taught  that  honors, 
according  to  the  proverb,  should  change  manners").  The  proverb  is  frequently 
used  in  a  derogatory  sense,  meaning  that  honors  unduly  inHate  the  recipient's 
self-esteem.  Thus,  when  .Sir  Thomas  More  was  made  chancellor,  Manners, 
who  had  himself  lately  been  created  Earl  of  Rutland,  told  him  that  he  was  too 
much  elated  with  his  preferment ;  that  he  verified  the  old  proverb,  "  Honores 
mutant  mores."  "  No,  my  lord,"  said  Sir  Thomas,  "  the  pun  will  do  much 
better  in  English  :  '  Honors  change  Manners.'' " 

Hoodlums,  a  name  which  originated  on  the  Pacific  coast  about  1868, 
first  applied  to  a  gang  of  young  ruffians  in  San  Francisco,  whence  it  spread 
eastward,  and  is  now  generally  applied,  with  some  ])olitical  significance,  to  a 
tough,  and  is  incorporated  in  the  phrase  "The  hoodlum  element  in  politics." 
The  true  origin  of  the  word  is  uncertain.  The  following  are  offered  for 
what  they  are  worth  : 

A  newspaper  man  in  San  Francisco,  in  attempting  to  coin  a  word  to  designate  a  gang  of 
young  street  Arabs  under  the  beck  of  one  named  "  Muldoon,"  hit  upon  the  idea  of  dubbing 
them  "  noodlums,"  that  is,  simply  reversing  the  leader's  name.  In  writing  the  word  the  strokes 
of  the  «  did  not  correspond  in  height,  and  the  compositor,  taking  the  n  for  an  k,  printed  it 
"hoodlums." — 7Vie  Congregationalist,  September  26,  1877. 


A  gang  of  bad  boys  from  fourteen  to  nineteen  years  of  a^e  was  associated  for  the  purpose 
of  stealing.  These  boys  had  a  place  of  rendezvous,  and  when  danger  threatened  them  their 
words  of  warning  were,  "  Huddle  'em  f  Huddle  'em  !"  An  article  headed  "  Huddle  'em," 
describing  the  gang  and  their  plan  of  operations,  was  published  in  the  San  Francisco  Times. 
The  name  applied  to  them  was  soon  contracted  into  hoodlum. — Los  AngeUs  (Cal.)  Express, 
August  25,  1877. 

Before  the  late  war  there  appeared  in  San  Francisco  a  man  whose  dress  was  very  peculiar. 
The  boys  took  a  fancy  to  it,  and,  organizing  themselves  into  a  military  company,  adopted  in 
part  the  dress  of  this  man.  The  head-dress  resembled  the  fez,  from  which  was  suspended  a 
long  tail.  'Y\\c gatiiins  called  it  a  "  hood,"  and  the  company  became  known  as  the  "  hoods." 
The  rowdy  element  in  the  city  adopted  much  of  the  dress  of  the  company  referred  to,  who 
were  soon  designated  as  "  hoodlums." — San  Francisco  Morning  Call,  October  27,  1877. 

Hook  or  by  Crook,  By.  A  number  of  ingenious  hypotheses  regarding 
the  origin  of  this  phrase  may  be  found  in  current  works  of  reference,  but,  as 
the  majority  of  them  are  invalidated  by  the  single  circumstance  that  the 
phrase  mounts  up  to  a  much  higher  antiquity  than  the  time  of  the  alleged 
origin  (it  may  be  found  in  "Colin  Clout,"  written  about  1240),  it  is  only 
necessary  to  consider  the  two  explanations  which  can  stand  this  test  of  time. 
One  is  that  when  Strongbow  invaded  Ireland  in  1 172  he  swore  that  he  was 
going  to  take  it  by  Hook  or  by  Crook,  those  being  the  names  of  two  places 
in  the  port  of  Waterford.  If  he  did  make  use  of  this  expression,  it  is  not  at 
all  unlikely  that  it  was  a  punning  allusion  to  a  proverb  already  in  circula- 
tion. Certainly  the  most  satisfactory  explanation  of  the  phrase  makes  it  rise 
from  the  ancient  forestal  rights  granted  to  the  poor  and  others  of  carrying 
away  for  fuel  any  refuse,  dead  or  damaged  portions  of  trees  which  could  be 
removed  without  detriment  to  the  owner  of  the  wood  by  some  simple  means, 
falling  short  of  the  axe  and  the  saw,  incidental  to  the  felling  of  timber  for 
general  purposes.  .Such  simple  means  of  removal  were  the  hooked  poles  or 
crooks  by  which  dead  branches,  etc.,  could  be  detached  and  pulled  down  and 
hauled  homewards.  Accordingly,  this  right  is  in  old  records  called  "  a  right, 
with  hook  and  crook,  to  lop,  crop,  and  carry  away  fuel."  For  very  full  i\i- 
formation  see  a  number  of  discussions  upon  the  subject  in  Notes  and  Queries, 
first  series,  i.  168,  etc.  ;  ii.  78,  204 ;  iii.  116,  212  ;  second  series,  i.  522  ;  fourth 
series,  viii.  64,  etc.  ;  ix.  77. 

Hoosier  State,  in  common  parlance  and  political  phrase,  a  name  given 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  489 

to  tlie  State  of  Indiana.  Its  origin  is  uncertain,  and  the  best  explanation  is 
that  which  derives  it  from  the  customary  challenge  or  mode  of  greeting  in 
the  local  vernacular  current  in  the  early  history  of  the  State :  "  Who's  yer  ?" 
(Who's  here  ?)  pronounced  hoosier.  A  native  of  Indiana  is  called  a  "  Hoosier." 

Hope.     Matthew  Prior  gives  us  the  following  definition  of  hope  : 
For  hope  is  but  the  dream  of  those  that  wake. 

Solomon  on  the  Vanity  of  the  World,  Book  iii.,  1.  102. 

But  the  definition  is  a  very  ancient  one,  and  has  been  referred  to  Plato  by 
./Elian  ( Var.  Hist.,  xiii.  29)  and  by  Diogenes  Laertius  to  Aristotle,  who,  when 
asked  what  hope  is,  answered,  "  The  dream  of  a  waking  man."  In  Latin 
Quintilian  echoes  the  phrase  with  a  qualification  : 

Et  spes  inanes,  et  velut  somnia  quaedam,  vigilantium  ("  Vain  hopes  are  like  certain  dreams 
of  those  who  wake"). — Institutes ,  vi.  2,  27. 

Another  ancient  thought  is  echoed  by  Gay  : 

While  there's  life  there's  hope,  he  cried, 

Tlu  Sick  Man  and  the  Artgel : 

which  is  literally  the  same  as  Cicero's 

iEgroto,  dum  anima  est,  spes  est  ("  While  the  sick  man  has  life,  there  is  hope"). — Episto- 
larum  ad  Atticuin,  ix.  10. 

Theocritus,  in  Idyl  IV.,  1.  42,  says,  less  pointedly, — 

For  the  living  there  is  hope,  for  the  dead  none. 
Goldsmith  expands  the  thought  in  the  lines  thus  printed  in  "  The  Captivity," 
Act  ii. : 

To  the  last  moment  of  his  breath 

On  hope  the  wretch  relies  ; 
And  even  the  pang  preceding  death 
Bids  expectation  rise ; 
but  more  familiar,  and  deservedly  so,  in  the  original  manuscript,  which  has 
fortunately  been  preserved  to  us  : 

The  wretch  condemn'd  with  life  to  part 

Still,  still  on  hope  relies; 
And  every  pang  that  rends  the  heart 

Bids  expectation  rise. 

Still  another  change  upon  the  fruitful  theme  is  rung  by  Pope  in  the  famous 
lines, — 

Hope  springs  eternal  in  the  human  breast : 
Man  never  is,  but  always  to  be  blest. 
The  soul,  uneasy  and  confined  from  home. 
Rests  and  expatiates  in  a  life  to  come. 

Essay  on  Man,  Epistle  I.,  1.  95  ; 

which  are,  after  all,  but  a  versification  of  the  passage  in  Pascal : 

Thus  we  never  live,  but  we  hope  to  live ;  and  always  disposing  ourselves  to  be  happy,  it  is 
inevitable  that  we  never  become  so. —  Thoughts,  ch.  v.  2. 
This  finds  an  echo  also  in  Massillon : 

We  never  enjoy,  we  always  hope.— &r»*o«  /or  St.  Benedict's  Day. 
Dryden  had  already  said, — 

When  I  consider  life,  'tis  all  a  cheat. 

Yet,  fool'd  with  hope,  men  favor  the  deceit ; 

Trust  on,  and  think  to-morrow  will  repay. 

To-morrow's  falser  than  the  former  day  ; 

Lies  worse,  and  while  it  says  we  shall  be  blest 

With  some  new  joys,  cuts  off  what  we  possest. 

Strange  cozenage  !  none  would  live  past  years  again. 

Yet  all  hope  pleasure  in  what  yet  remain, 

And  from  the  dregs  of  life  think  to  receive 

What  the  first  sprightly  running  could  not  give. 

Aurengzebe ,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  t. 


490  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

'Tis  not  for  nothing  that  we  life  pursue  ; 

It  pays  our  hopes  with  something  still  that's  new. 

Ibid. 

The  following  familiar  lines,  which  are  preserved  to  us  in  "The  Universal 
Songster,"  vol.  ii.  p.  86,  are  credited  to  a  certain  Miss  Wrother,  and  belong  to 
the  end  of  the  eighteenth  century  : 

Hope  tells  a  flattering  tale, 

Delusive,  vain,  and  hollow. 
Ah  !  let  not  hope  prevail, 

Lest  disappointment  follow. 

But  why  should  we  banish  hope,  if  what  Cowley  tells  us  is  true  ? — 

Hope,  of  all  ills  that  men  endure, 
The  only  cheap  and  universal  cure. 

The  Mistress  :  For  Hope. 

The  New  Testament  reckons  hope  among  the  three  great  virtues,  and 
commends  those  "who  against  hope  believed  in  hope"  {^Romans  iv.  i8), — a 
commendation  echoed  by  two  modern  poets  : 

Hope  against  hope,  and  ask  till  ye  receive, 

Montgomery:   The  World  before  the  Flood ; 
It  is  to  hope,  though  hope  were  lost, 

Mrs.  Barbauld  :  Come  here.  Fond  Youth  ; 

and  magnificently  paraphrased  by  Milton  in  his  sonnet  on  his  own  blindness  : 
Yet  I  argue  not 
Against  Heaven's  hand  or  will,  nor  bate  a  jot 
Of  heart  or  hope  ;  but  still  bear  up  and  steer 
Right  onward. 

Sonnet  XXII. 

The  Old  Testament,  however,  recognizes  that  "  Hope  deferred  maketh  the 
heart  sick"  {Proverbs  xiii.  12), — a  thought  which  has  been  amplified  by 
Spenser : 

Full  little  knowest  thou,  that  hast  not  tride. 
What  hell  it  is  in  suing  long  to  bide  : 
To  loose  good  dayes,  that  might  be  better  spent ; 
To  wast  long  nights  in  pensive  discontent ; 
To  speed  to-day,  to  be  put  back  to-morrow ; 
To  feed  on  hope,  to  pine  with  feare  and  sorrow. 
To  fret  thy  soule  with  crosses  and  with  cares ; 
To  eate  thy  heart  through  comfortlesse  dispaires  ; 
To  fawne,  to  crowche,  to  waite,  to  ride,  to  ronne, 
To  spend,  to  give,  to  want,  to  be  undonne. 
Unhappie  wight,  borne  to  desastrous  end, 
■That  doth  his  life  In  so  long  tendance  spend ! 

Mother  Hubberds  Tale,  1.  895. 

Nevertheless,  the  loss  of  all  hope  is  the  final  and  most  terrible  of  all  evils, 
which  both  Milton  and  Dante  reserve  for  the  inmates  of  hell, — the  first  in 
Satan's  acknowledgment, — 

Thus  repulsed,  our  final  hope 
Is  flat  despair. 

Paradise  Lost,  Book  ii.,  1.  139, 

and  the  latter  in  the  famous  legend  which  he  places   over  the  entrance  to 
hell : 

Lasciate  ogni  speranza  voi  ch'  entrate. 
("  Abandon  all  hope,  ye  who  enter  here.") 

Inferno,  iii.  g. 

Horn.  Coining  out  of  the  little  end  of  the  horn.  This  proverbial 
expression,  meaning  that  a  man  has  been  swindled,  or  taken  in,  or  otherwise 
"badly  left,"  is  not  a  pure  Americanism,  although  it  is  almost  extinct  at 
present  in  England.  But  a  correspondent  of  Notes  and  Queries,  seventh 
series,  iv.  323,  says  he  has  heard  the  phrase  in  Warwickshire.     The  same 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  491 

correspondent  describes  an  old  panel-painting  seen  by  him  in  a  country  curi- 
osity-shop, and  apparently  of  the  sixteenth  century,  which  represents  a  poor 
wretch  being  thrust  into  the  large  end  of  a  horn,  while  his  uniiappy  head  and 
one  arm  protrude  from  the  little  end.     Underneath  is  written, — 

This  horn  emblem  here  doth  show 
Of  svretishipp  what  harm  doth  growe. 

Pictures  similar  to  this  appear  to  have  been  common  in  the  sixteenth  and 
seventeenth  centuries.  In  "Eastward  Hoe"  (1605)  Ben  Jonson  makes  one  of 
his  characters  say,  "  I  had  the  home  of  suretiship  ever  before  my  eyes.  You 
all  know  the  device  of  the  home  where  the  young  fellow  slippes  in  at  the 
butte-end  and  comes  squeezed  out  at  the  buckall."  Subsequently  a  ballad 
seems  to  have  been  written  on  the  subject.  Thus,  in  Fletcher's  "  Wife  for  a 
Month," — 

Thou  wilt  look  to-morrow  else 
Worse  than  the  prodigal  fool  the  ballad  speaks  of. 
That  was  squeezed  through  a  horn. 

The  Spaniards  have  a  proverb  somewhat  akin  to  this  :  "  La  ley  del  embudo ; 
el  ancho  para  mi,  el  estrecho  para  ti," — that  is,  "The  law  of  the  funnel ;  the 
broad  end  for  me,  the  narrow  for  thee."  Another  equivalent  is  the  Amer- 
ican "  Heads  I  win,  tails  you  lose,"  or  the  once  familiar  "  You  no  talkee 
turkey  to  me  at  all,"  said  to  be  the  answer  of  an  Indian  to  a  Yankee  who 
proposed  a  shooting-match  at  a  turkey  :  "If  you  kill  it,  I  get  it ;  and  if  I  kill 
it,  you  lose  it." 

Horn-book,  a  thin  board  of  oak  about  nine  inches  long  and  five  or  six 
wide,  on  which  were  printed  the  alphabet,  the  nine  digits,  and  sometimes  the 
Lord's  Prayer.  It  had  a  handle,  and  was  covered  in  front  with  a  sheet  of  thin 
horn  to  prevent  its  being  soiled,  and  the  back-board  was  ornamented  with  a 
rude  sketch  of  St.  George  and  the  Dragon.  The  board  and  its  horn  cover 
were  held  together  by  a  narrow  frame  of  brass.  Formerly  the  first  "book" 
put  in  the  hands  of  the  English  school-boy. 

Thee  will  I  sing  in  comely  wainscot  bound 

And  golden  verge  enclosing  thee  around ; 

The  faithful  horn  before,  from  age  to  age 

Preserving  thy  invulnerable  page  ; 

Behind,  thy  patron  saint  in  armor  shines, 

With  sword  and  lance  to  guard  the  sacred  lines. 

Th'  instructive  handle's  at  the  bottom  fixed. 

Lest  wrangling  critics  should  pervert  the  text. 

Tickell:   Tke  Horn-Book. 

Their  books  of  stature  small  they  took  in  hand. 
Which  with  pellucid  horn  secured  are, 
To  save  from  finger  wet  the  letter  fair. 

Shenstone  :   The  School-Mistress. 

Lord  Lytton,  when  some  one  pointed  to  the  successful  attempts  at  demo- 
cratic government  in  the  colonies  as  examples  for  monarchical  and  aristocratic 
England,  replied,  "  I  can  only  say  that  he  has  not  studied  the  horn-book  of 
legislation"  (of  Lord  Palmerston's  Reform  Bill  in  i860). 

Horns,  when  given  to  Moses  as  a  distinctive  mark, — e.g.,  in  Michael  Angelo's 
well-known  statue,  in  an  older  figure  in  Roslin  Chapel,  and  in  most  mediaeval 
representations  of  the  law-giver, — afford  a  curious  instance  of  a  misunderstand- 
ing being  stereotyped  in  stone.  In  Exodus  xxxiv.  29  et  seq.  it  is  said  that 
when  Moses  came  down  from  the  mount  his  face  shone.  The  verb  for  this  in 
the  Hebrew  is  qdran,  to  emit  rays,  originally  to  put  forth  horns  ;  from  qeren, 
a  horn.  "This  meaning  has  developed  itself  from  a  comparison  of  the  first 
rays  of  the  rising  sun,  which  shoot  out  above  the  horizon,  to  the  horns  of  the 
gazelle,  a  comparison  which  is  met  with  in  the  Arabian  poets."  (Keil.)     So 


492  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

the  correct  translation  of  Habakkuk  iii.  4,  "  He  had  horns  coming  out  of 
his  hand,"  would  be,  as  in  the  margin,  "  bright  beams."  St.  Jerome  made,  un- 
fortunately, a  similar  mistake  in  rendering  "his  face  shone"  in  the  passage 
in  Exodus  according  to  its  primitive  meaning, ^tJrtVwz  esse  cor jmtam,  "his  face 
was  horned."  From  this  misconception  sprang  the  horned  Moses  of  the 
painters  and  sculptors,  with  some  reference  perhaps  to  horns  as  a  symbol  of 
power,  which  in  this  sense  are  assigned  to  Alexander  and  others  on  coins. 

From  the  association  of  horns  with  cuckoldry,  a  man  who  for  a  considera- 
tion assumes  the  paternity  of  another's  bastard  is  said  in  colloquial  English 
to  stand  Moses,  and  is  obliged  by  the  parish  to  maintain  it.  A  cognate  phrase 
is  in  the  same  maimer  explained  by  Cotgrave  :  "  Holie  Moses,  whose  ordinarie 
counterfeit  having  on  either  side  of  the  head  an  eminence  or  lustre,  arising 
somewhat  in  the  forme  of  a  home,  hath  emboldened  a  prophane  author  to 
stile  cuckolds  parents  de  Moyse." 

Horse.  A  horse!  a  horse!  my  kingdom  for  a  horse!  the  cry  with 
which  the  unhorsed  monarch  appears  upon  the  stage  in  Act  v.,  Scene  4,  of 
"  Richard  III.,"  while  the  battle  of  Bosworth  is  supposed  to  be  raging.  It  is 
not  an  historical  exclamation,  but  had  been  familiar  to  the  stage  even  before 
Shakespeare's  use  of  it.  Indeed,  it  is  found  in  the  older  play  the  "True 
Tragedie  of  Richard  the  Third"  (1594),  in  this  form : 
A  horse,  a  horse,  a  fresh  horse  ! 

Shakeipeare  Society  Reprint,  p.  64. 
But  the  cry  is  older  than  this,  and  is  not  even  peculiar  to  Richard  III. 
Thus,  in  Peele's  "  Battle  of  Alcazar"  (1588  or  1589)  the  Moor  calls  out, — 
A  horse,  a  horse,  villain,  a  horse  I 
That  I  may  take  the  river  straight,  and  fly  ! 

Shakespeare's  very  words  were  frequently  imitated,  copied,  or  burlesqued, 
as  in  the  following  instances  : 

A  horse  !  a  horse  ! 
Ten  kingdoms  for  a  horse  to  enter  Troy. 

Heywood  :  Iron  Age,  Part  II.  (1632). 
Ha  I  he  mounts  Chirall  on  the  wings  of  fame. 
A  horse  !  a  horse  I  my  kingdom  for  a  horse  I 
Look  thee,  I  speak  play  scraps. 

Marston  :    What  you  Will  (1607),  Act  ii.,  Sc.  i. 
A  man,  a  man,  a  kingdom  for  a  man  I 

Marston  :  Satires  (1599). 
In  Shakespeare  the  thought  reappears  in  an  entirely  different  form  in  "The 
Tempest,"  Act  i.,  Sc.  i,  when  Gonzalo  gives  the  ship  up  for  lost : 

Now  would  I  give  a  thousand  furlongs  of  sea  for  an  acre  of  barren  ground  ;  brown  heaih, 
long  furze,  anything. 

Horses,  Four-in-hand.  Great  culprits  at  one  time  were  fastened  limb  for 
limb  to  four  horses,  which  being  urged  in  different  directions,  the  victim  was 
literally  torn  limb  from  limb.  The  last  person  to  suffer  in  this  manner  in  Europe 
was  Robert  Fran9ois  Damiens,  in  1757,  for  an  attempt  to  assassinate  Louis  XV. 
Other  notable  instances  of  this  form  of  capital  punishment  were  those  of  Pol- 
trot  de  Mere,  in  1563,  for  the  murder  of  the  Due  de  Guise  ;  Salcede,  in  1582,  for 
conspiring  against  the  Due  d'Alen9on  ;  Brillaud,  in  1588,  for  poisoning  the 
Prince  de  Conde  ;  and  Ravaillac,  in  1610,  for  the  murder  of  Henry  IV. 

Diomede,  tyrant  of  Thrace,  fed  his  horses  with  strangers  who  visited  his 
coast.     Hercules  vanquished  him  and  gave  him  to  his  own  horses  for  food. 

Here  such  dire  welcome  is  for  you  prepared 

As  IJiomede's  unhappy  strangers  shared  ; 

His  hapless  guests  in  silent  midnight  bled. 

On  their  torn  limbs  his  snorting  coursers  fed. 

Camoens  :  Lusiad. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  493 

The  first  person,  according  to  Virgil,  that  drove  four-in-hand  was  Erich- 
thonius  : 

Primus  Erichthonius  cumis  et  quattuor  ausus 
Jungere  equos. 
("  Erichthon  was  the  first  who  dared  command 
A  chariot  yoked  with  horses  four-in-hand.") 

Georgics,  Book  iii.,  1.  113. 

Horses,  Not  best  to  swap,  when  crossing  a  stream.  This  remark, 
which  has  become  a  colloquialism  in  the  United  States,  was  made  by  Abraham 
Lincoln  on  June  9,  1864,  after  his  renomination  to  the  Presidency.  On  that 
occasion  he  replied  to  the  congratulations  of  the  National  Union  League,  "  I 
have  not  permitted  myself,  gentlemen,  to  conclude  that  I  am  the  best  man  in 
this  country  ;  but  I  am  reminded  in  this  connection  of  the  story  of  an  old 
Dutch  farmer,  who  remarked  to  a  companion  that  it  was  not  best  to  swap 
horses  when  crossing  a  stream." 

Horseshoes  and  Good  Luck.  The  custom  of  nailing  a  horseshoe 
over  the  door  of  a  house  or  other  building  as  a  protection  against  evil  spirits 
and  an  assurance  of  good  luck  is  widely  spread  over  England  and  the  United 
States.  It.also  lingers  among  all  the  Teutonic  and  Scandinavian  races,  and 
flourishes  apace  in  Hindostan.  The  horseshoe  unites  within  itself  three 
lucky  elements  :  it  is  crescent-shaped,  is  a  portion  of  a  horse,  and  is  made 
of  iron.  Popular  superstition  has  long  endowed  iron  with  protecting  powers. 
Such  powers  attached  in  some  degree  to  most  metals,  but  since,  in  most 
countries,  iron  has  been  the  metal  latest  worked,  it  naturally  inherited  the 
virtues  of  the  others.  The  Romans  drove  nails  into  the  walls  of  cottages  as 
an  antidote  to  the  plague.  When  Arabs  in  the  desert  are  overtaken  by  a 
simoon,  they  seek  to  propitiate  the  Jinns  who  have  raised  it  by  crying,  "  Iron  ! 
iron  !"  The  Scandinavian  exorcises  the  Neckan,  or  river  spirit,  with  an  open 
knife  in  the  bottom  of  his  boat,  or  a  nail  set  in  a  reed,  singing, — 

Neckan,  Neckan,  nail  in  water! 

The  Virgin  Mary  casteth  steel  in  water! 

Do  you  sink,  I  flit. 

Celtic,  Finnish,  and  Welsh  superstitions  agree  that  iron  is  a  guard  against 
witchcraft.  It  has  always  been  held  a  good  omen  to  find  old  iron,  and,  as 
horseshoes  are  the  readiest  form  in  which  old  iron  could  be  found,  it  is 
naturally  the  form  to  which  the  remnant  of  the  superstition  has  longest 
clung. 

Horses,  in  the  popular  mythology  of  England,  were  looked  upon  as  luck- 
bringers.  In  Yorkshire  it  is  still  thought  that  disease  may  be  cured  by  bury- 
ing a  horse  alive.  A  horse's  hoof  placed  under  an  invalid's  bed  is  a  spe/:ific 
for  many  complaints  in  rural  districts.  In  Ireland,  Camden  says,  "  when  a 
horse  dies,  his  feet  and  legs  are  hung  up  in  the  house,  and  even  the  hoofs  are 
sacred." 

On  account  of  its  form,  there  is  no  doubt  that  the  qualities  anciently  as- 
cribed to  the  crescent  have  been  transferred  to  the  horseshoe.  The  crescent, 
like  the  horseshoe,  is  semicircular  in  shape  and  ends  in  two  points.  From 
the  earliest  antiquity  ornaments  shaped  in  this  way  have  been  popular  as 
preservatives  against  danger,  and  especially  against  evil  spirits,  lludibras 
embalms  this  ancient  superstition  in  the  couplet, — 

Chase  evil  spirits  away  by  dint 

Of  sickle,  horseshoe,  and  hollow  flint,^ 

and  Herrick,  in  his  "  Ilesperides,"  says, — 

Hang  up  hooks  and  shears  to  scare 
Hence  the  hag  that  rides  the  mare. 

42 


494  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

All  these  have  this  curved  or  forked  shape  terminating  in  two  points.  The 
seal  of  Solomon,  infelicitously  styled  the  pentacle,  was  supposed  to  have 
great  power  ;  it  consisted  of  two  triangles,  presenting  six  forks.  In  Italy  and 
Spain,  the  evil  eye  is  averted  by  extending  the  forefinger  and  little  finger 
forward  like  a  pair  of  horns,  the  two  middle  fingers  being  bent  down  under 
the  thumb.  The  Chinese  have  their  tombs  built  in  a  semicircular  form  like 
a  horseshoe,  and  the  Moors  are  also  wont  to  use  that  form  in  their  archi- 
tecture. The  fact  that  the  nimbus  or  halo  which  in  old  pictures  surrounds 
the  heads  of  saints  and  angels  bears  a  rude  resemblance  to  a  horseshoe  is 
no  doubt  one  of  the  many  accidental  coincidences  that  have  strengthened  this 
popular  superstition. 

The  belief  in  the  horseshoe  attained  its  greatest  diffusion  at  the  end  of  the 
last  century  and  the  beginning  of  this.  Aubrey,  in  his  "Miscellanies,"  tells 
us  that  in  his  time  most  houses  in  the  West  End  of  London  had  a  horseshoe 
nailed  over  the  threshold.  In  1813,  Sir  Henry  Ellis  counted  seventeen  horse- 
shoes in  Monmouth  Street,  but  in  1841  only  five  or  six  remained.  Lord 
Nelson  nailed  a  horseshoe  to  the  mast  of  the  Victory;  and  "Lucky  Dr. 
James"  attributed  the  success  of  his  fever-powders  to  the  finding  of  a  horse- 
shoe, which  symbol  he  adopted  as  a  crest  for  his  carriage. 

Horsy,  or  Horsey,  an  epithet  often  used  in  the  general  seftse  of  fast, 
vulgar,  coarse,  from  the  fancy  that  horse-dealing,  horse-racing,  and  love  of 
horses  carry  with  them  a  lowering  of  the  moral  tone.  Thus,  Portia  says  con- 
temptuously of  one  of  the  pretenders  to  her  hand,  "That's  a  colt  indeed, 
for  he  doth  nothing  but  talk  of  his  horse"  {^Merchant  of  Venice,  Act  i.,  Sc.  2), 
— colt  meaning  a  witless  youngster.  Pope,  in  his  "Epistle  to  Miss  Blount, 
on  her  leaving  the  town  after  the  Coronation,"  pictures  her  in  rural  retire- 
ment, flirting  with  a  country  squire  : 

Some  squire,  perhaps,  you  take  delight  to  rack, 
Whose  game  is  whist,  whose  treat  a  toast  in  sack; 
Who  visits  with  a  gun,  presents  you  birds, 
Then  gives  a  smacking  buss,  and  cries,  No  words  ! 
Or  with  his  hound  comes  hallooing  from  the  stable, 
Makes  love  with  nods  and  knees  beneath  a  table  ; 
Whose  laughs  are  hearty,  though  his  jests  are  coarse. 
And  loves  you  best  of  all  things — but  his  horse. 

This  vivid  bit  of  portraiture  bears  some  resemblance  to  the  picture  which 
the  hero  of  "  Locksley  Hall"  draws  of  Cousin  Amy's  husband  : 

As  the  husband  is,  the  wife  is  :  thou  art  mated  with  a  clown, 

And  the  grossness  of  his  nature  will  have  weight  to  drag  thee  down. 

He  will  hold  thee,  when  his  passion  shall  have  spent  its  novel  force. 
Something  better  than  his  dog,  a  little  dearer  than  his  horse. 

Are  not  all  these  a  reminiscence  of  Ecclesiasticus  xxxviii.  25  ?  Few  pas- 
sages in  the  Apocrypha  are  more  familiar  than  that  in  which  the  Son  of 
Sirach  asks,  "  How  can  he  get  wisdom  that  holdeth  the  plough,  and  that 
glorieth  in  the  goad,  that  driveth  oxen,  and  is  occupied  in  their  labors,  and 
whose  talk  is  of  bullocks  ?"  Ever  since  his  day  these  words  have  been  quoted 
to  stigmatize  the  stupidity  of  squires  and  landed  gentry,  who  live  on  their 
estate  and  like  to  talk  about  its  products.  Thus,  Dr.  Johnson  said  of  his 
hospitable  entertainer.  Dr.  Taylor,  the  rector  of  Ashborne,  that  his  regard 
for  the  good  man  did  not  increase,  "for  his  talk  is  of  bullocks."  Yet  Dr. 
Johnson  was  delighted  when  Mrs.  Thrale's  mother,  answering  a  country 
clergyman's  complaints  that  his  parishioners  were  unsocial,  that  "  they  talk 
of  runts,"  said,  "Sir,  Mr.  Johnson  would  learn  to  talk  of  runts,"  implying 
that  there  was  a  man  who  would  make  the  most  of  circumstances  and  sur- 
roundings.    Shakespeare,  in  the  "  Second  Part  of  King  Henry  IV,"  (Act  iii., 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  495 

Sc.  2),  makes  his  country  justice  eagerly  divert  his  thoughts  from  the  death  of 
his  old  friends  to  the  question  of  bullocks  : 

Shallow.  To  see  how  many  of  mine  old  acquaintance  are  dead  ! 

Silence.   We  shall  all  follow. 

Shalloiii.  Certain,  'tis  certain ;  very  sure,  very  sure  ;  death,  as  the  Psalmist  saith,  is  certain 
to  all ;  all  shall  die.     How  a  good  yoke  of  bullocks  at  Stamford  Fair? 

Host  in  himself.  Samuel  Rogers  relates  that  walking  one  day,  in  1838 
or  1839,  with  the  Duke  of  Wellington,  and  naming  the  formidable  antagonists 
of  Lord  John  Russell  in  the  House,  the  duke  replied,  "  Lord  John  is  a  host 
in  himself"  But  Pope  in  his  translation  of  Homer's  Iliad  had  already  applied 
the  same  epithet  to  Ajax  : 

Ajax  the  great  (the  beauteous  queen  replied), 
Himself  a  host,  the  Grecian  strength  and  pride. 

Book  iii.,  1.  293. 
The  same  passage  is  thus  translated  by  Bryant : 
Helen,  the  beautiful  and  richly  robed. 
Answered,  "  Thou  seest  the  mighty  Ajax  there. 
The  bulwark  of  the  Greeks." 

The  duke  himself  rang  another  change  upon  the  phrase  when  he  said  that 
he  considered  Napoleon's  presence  in  the  field  equal  to  forty  thousand  men 
in  the  balance.  Afterwards,  in  conversation  with  Stanhope,  September  18, 
1836,  he  explained  his  meaning  as  follows :  "This  is  a  very  loose  way  of  talk- 
ing ;  but  the  idea  is  a  very  different  one  from  that  of  his  presence  at  the  battle 
being  equal  to  a  reinforcement  of  forty  thousand  men." 

In  1798,  President  John  Adams,  in  view  of  a  war  with  France  which  seemed 
imminent,  wrote  to  Washington   at  Mount  Vernon,  "  We  must  have  your 
name,  if  you  will  permit  us  to  use  it.     There  will  be  more  efficacy  in  it  than 
in  many  an  army."     Sir  Walter  Scott  has  a  somewhat  similar  expression  : 
Where,  where  was  Roderick  then  ? 
One  blast  upon  his  bugle  horn 
Were  worth  a  thousand  men. 

Lady  of  the  Lake,  Canto  vi..  Stanza  i8. 

Plutarch,  in  his  "  Apothegms,"  records  that  when  Antigonus  II.  was  told 
by  his  pilot,  before  a  naval  battle  with  the  lieutenants  of  Ptolemy,  that  the 
enemy's  ships  outnumbered  his  own,  he  replied,  "  But  how  many  ships  do  you 
reckon  my  presence  to  be  worth  V 

Hot  and  cold.  To  blow.     When  Dr.  Reid  was  permitted  to  make  his 
experiment  in  ventilation  of  the  houses  of  Parliament  by  alternate  blasts  of 
hot  and  cold  air,  the  following  appeared  in  the  London  Times: 
Peel's  patronage  of  Dr.  Reid 
Is  very  natural  indeed. 

For  no  one  need  be  told 
The  worthy  scientific  man 
Is  acting  on  the  premier's  plan 
Of  blowing  hot  and  cold. 
The  phrase,  which  means  to  be  a  trimmer,  to  veer  with  the  wind,  to  be 
hypocritical,  takes  its  origin  in  ^sop's  fable  of  the  man  who  alarmed  his 
neighbor  by  warming  his  fingers  and  cooling  his  soup  with  his  breath. 

Hot-Water  "War.  Soon  after  the  Whiskey  Rebellion  (q.  v.)  fresh  trouble 
arose  from  an  attempt  of  the  Federal  government  to  levy  a  direct  tax  on 
houses,  and,  as  in  the  former  trouble,  the  centre  of  disturbance  was  the  State 
of  Pennsylvania.  When  the  officers  came  to  make  the  necessary  measure- 
ments, the  women  deluged  them  with  hot  water,  whence  the  disturbance  be- 
came known  as  the  Hot-Water  War.  In  the  town  of  Bethlehem,  in  March, 
1799,  when  the  United  States  marshal  arrested  some  offenders,  the  latter  were 
rescued  by  an  armed  mob  under  the  leadership  of  one  John  Fries,  and  the 


49^  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

disturbance  assumed  a  serious  aspect,  so  that  the  militia  were  called  in  to 
restore  order.  Fries  was  arrested,  convicted  of  treason,  and  sentenced  to 
death,  and  a  number  of  his  followers  were  condemned  to  longer  or  shorter 
terms  of  imprisonment.  All  were  pardoned,  however,  by  President  John 
Adams.  The  law  imposing  the  tax  was  repealed  two  or  three  years  later, 
under  Jefferson's  administration. 

House.  A  man's  house  is  his  castle.  This  phrase  originated  with 
Sir  Edward  Coke,  in  his  Third  Institute,  p.  162  :  "  For  a  man's  house  is  his 
cz^iXe,  et  domus  sua  cuique  tutisshnum  refu^i^iim"  ("and  his  house  the  safest 
retreat  for  every  one").  The  quotation  is  from  the  Roman  law  (Pan- 
dects, ii.  4).  A  less  pithy  expression  of  the  idea  occurred  in  the  opinion 
delivered  by  Coke  in  Semayne's  case,  5  Rep.,  91  :  "The  house  of  every 
one  is  to  him  his  castle  and  fortress,  as  well  for  his  defence  against  injury  and 
violence  as  for  his  repose."  In  a  speech  on  the  Kxcise  Bill  Chatham  amplified 
Coke  in  this  splendid  fashion:  "The  poorest  man  may  in  his  cottage  bid 
defiance  to  all  the  force  of  the  crown.  It  may  be  frail  ;  its  roof  may  shake  ; 
the  wind  may  blow  through  it ;  the  storms  may  enter,  the  rain  may  enter, — but 
the  king  of  England  cannot  enter  ;  all  his  forces  dare  not  cross  the  threshold 
of  the  ruined  tenement!"  When  an  Irish  attorney  quoted  the  phrase  "The 
rain  may  enter,  but  the  King  of  England  cannot,"  Lord  Norbury,  who  was  on 
the  bench,  exclaimed,  "  What !  not  the  reigning  king  ?" 

The  French  say,  "  The  collier  (or  charcoal-burner)  is  master  in  his  own 
house"  ("Charbonnier  est  maitre  chez  soi"),  and  they  refer  the  origin  of  the 
proverb  to  a  hunting-adventure  of  P'rancis  I.,  related  by  Blaise  de  Montluc. 
Having  outridden  all  his  followers,  the  king  took  shelter  at  nightfall  in  the 
cabin  of  a  charcoal-burner,  whose  wife  he  found  sitting  alone  on  the  floor 
before  the  fire.  She  told  him,  when  he  asked  for  hospitality,  that  he  must 
wait  her  husband's  return,  which  he  did,  seating  himself  on  the  only  chair  the 
cabin  contained.  Presently  the  man  came  in,  and,  after  a  brief  greeting,  made 
the  king  give  him  up  the  chair,  saying  he  was  used  to  sit  in  it,  and  it  was  but 
right  that  a  man  should  be  master  in  his  own  house.  Francis  expressed  his 
entire  concurrence  in  this  doctrine,  and  he  and  his  host  supped  together  very 
amicably  on  game  poached  from  the  royal  forest. 

"Man,"  said  Ferdinand  VII.  to  the  Duke  of  Medina-Celi,  the  premier 
nobleman  of  Spain,  who  was  helping  him  on  with  his  great-coat, — "man,  how 
little  you  are  !"  "  At  home  1  am  great,"  replied  the  dwarfish  grandee. 
"  When  I  am  in  my  own  house  I  am  a  king"  is  another  Spanish  saying. 

Hub  of  the  universe,  or  simply  The  Hub,  a  sobriquet  for  Boston,  which 
its  citizens  have  humorously  appropriated,  with  the  consciousness  that  there's 
many  a  true  word  spoken  in  jest.  Hub  is  provincial  English  for  anything 
knobby  or  projecting, — a  boss.  In  the  United  States  it  survives  chiefly  as  the 
name  for  the  wooden  or  metal  centre  of  a  carriage-  or  wagon-wheel.  Hence 
the  Hub,  metaphorically,  means  the  centre.  The  jest  had  its  origin  with  Dr. 
Holmes,  in  the  "Autocrat  of  the  Breakfast-Table"  (1859)  : 

A  jaunty-looking  person  .  .  .  said  that  there  was  one  more  wise  saying  that  he  had  heard. 
It  was  about  our  place,  but  he  didn't  know  who  said  it : 

"  Boston  State-house  is  the  hub  of  the  solar  system.  You  couldn't  pry  that  out  of  a  Bos- 
ton man  if  you  had  the  tire  of  all  creation  straightened  out  for  a  cross-bar." 

"  Sir,"  said  I,  "  I  am  gratified  with  your  remark.  It  expresses  with  pleasing  vivacity  that 
which  1  have  sometimes  heard  uttered  with  malignant  dulness.  The  satire  of  the  remark  is 
essentially  true  of  Boston,  and  of  all  other  considerable  and  inconsiderable  places  with  which 
1  have  the  privilege  of  being  acquainted.  Cockneys  think  London  is  the  only  place  in  the 
world.  Frenchmen — you  remember  the  lines  about  Paris,  the  Court,  the  World,  etc.  I  recol- 
lect well,  by  the  way,  a  sign  in  that  city  which  ran  thus  :  "  Hotel  de  I'univers  et  des  Etats- 
Unis,"  and,  as  Paris  is  the  universe  to  a  Frenchman,  of  course  the  United  States  are  outside 
of  it."     "  See  Naples  and  then  die."     It  is  quite  as  bad  with  smaller  places. 


•LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  497 

The  Rev.  F.  B.  Zincke,  an  Englishman  who  travelled  through  the  United 
States,  and  on  his  return  published  "Last  Winter  in  the  United  States" 
(1868),  does  not  seem  to  have  been  aware  of  Holmes's  claim  : 

The  hub,  in  America,  is  the  nave  or  centre-piece  of  the  wheel  from  which  the  spokes  radiate, 
and  on  which  the  wheel  turns.  .  .  .  Massachusetts  has  been  the  wheel  within  New  England, 
and  Boston  the  wheel  within  Massachusetts.  Boston,  therefore,  is  often  called  the  "  hub  of 
the  world,"  since  it  has  been  the  source  and  fountain  of  the  ideas  that  have  reared  and  made 
America. 

The  phrase  "hub  of  the  world,"  or  "hub  of  the  universe,"  is  now  applied 
humorously  to  any  place  supposed  by  its  inhabitants  to  be  of  unusual  im- 
portance. 

Calcutta  .  .  .  swaggers  as  if  it  were  the  hub  of  the  universe.— Z^«^t)«  Daily  News,  Jan- 
uary 18,  1876. 

An  excellent  bit  of  comic  etymology  in  Notes  and  Queries,  fourth  series,  iv., 
seeks  to  derive  hub  from  umbilicus.  Yet  there  is  a  strange  connection 
between  the  two  words.  For  whereas  to-day  Boston  is  the  hub  of  the 
universe,  Homer  describes  Calypso's  island  as  the  "  navel  of  the  world,"  the 
centre  of  all  the  seas.  In  vEschylus,  a  certain  round  stone  in  the  temple  of 
Delphi  is  the  "navel"  or  centre  of  the  earth,  and  here  does  Orestes  take 
refuge  when  pursued  by  the  Eumenides.  Pindar  has  anticipated  TEschylus 
here,  and,  after  an  era,  Pausanias  (like  Herr  Schick)  had  the  pleasure  of 
seeing  the  only  genuine  central  hub  at  Delphi.  "It  is  made,"  he  says,  "of 
white  stone,  smooth  and  polished,  and  is  the  middle  point  of  the  whole  world." 
Delos,  as  well  as  Delphi,  claims  to  be  one  of  the  sacred  places  perforated  by 
the  earth's  axis. 

Jerusalem  has  pretensions  that  are  not  to  be  despised,  founded  less  on  phys- 
ical science  than  on  prophecy.  It  is  written  in  the  Psalms,  "God  is  my  king 
of  old,  working  salvation  in  the  midst  of  the  earth."  This  can  refer  only  to 
the  scenes  of  the  passion  and  of  the  holy  sepulchre,  and  the  midst  of  the  earth 
must,  therefore,  be  found  where  the  holy  sepulchre  is.  The  belief  that  the 
centre  is  there  or  thereabouts  is  ancient,  for  it  occurs  in  a  work  by  St. 
Ephrem,  quoted  by  John  Gregory  in  reference  to  Noah's  prayer.  Here  St. 
Ephrem  says  that  Adam  was  buried  "  in  the  middle  of  the  earth." 

Huckleberry  above  my  persimmon,  a  Southern  expression,  mean- 
ing something  beyond  one's  ability.  Thorpe,  in  his  "  Backwoods"  (pub- 
lished in  1846),  speaking  of  the  hunting  achievements  of  one  of  the  characters, 
said,  "  It  was  a  huckleberry  above  the  persimmon  of  any  native  of  the  coun- 
try." The  explanation  may  be  found  in  the  fact  that  in  many  parts  of  the  South 
huckleberries  are  esteemed  above  persimmons.  A  story  goes  that  on  one 
occasion  a  number  of  persons  happened  to  meet  at  the  store  in  a  village  in 
one  of  the  "huckleberry  counties."  A  frost  late  in  April  had  done  much 
damage  to  the  fruit-crop.  One  mourned  his  ruined  peaches,  another  his 
cherries,  a  third  his  apples,  and  so  on.  At  last  a  lanky  individual,  whose 
tallowv  face  proclaimed  him  a  denizen  of  the  swamps,  heaved  a  deep  sigh  of 
relief  and  exclaimed,  "  Thank  God,  the  huckleberries  ain't  touched  ;  I'm  all 
right !"     To  him,  certainly,  the  huckleberry  was  above  the  persimmon. 

Huggins  and  Muggins,  the  embodiment  of  vulgar  pretension.  It  is 
probably  derived  from  "  Hogen  and  Mogen,"  which  is  itself  a  travesty  of  the 
adjective  "  Hoogmogende"  (sometimes  "  Hoogen  en  Mogende")  in  the  style 
and  title  of  the  Dutch  States-General.  "  Hoogmogende,"  while  it  does  not 
quite  imply  omnipotence,  comes  very  near  it  (it  may  be  pretty  accurately  trans- 
lated "all-powerful"),  a  high  and  mighty  (Hoogen  en  Mogende)  pretension 
which  furnished  much  food  for  amusement  in  England,  and  was  often  ridiculed 
by  the  writers  of  the  latter  part  of  the  seventeenth  century, — e.g. : 


498 


HANDY-BOOK  OF 

But  I  have  sent  him  for  a  token 

To  your  Low-Country  Hogen-Mogen. 

Butler  :  Hudihras. 


The  modern  application  of  the  term  will  appear  from  the  following : 
Whitford  and  Milford  joined  the  train, 
Huggins  and  Muggins  from  Chick  Lane, 
And  Clutterbuck,  who  got  a  sprain 
Before  the  plug  was  found. 

Rejected  Addresses. 

Huguenot.  The  origin  of  this  term  is  involved  in  obscurity :  it  came  into 
use  in  France  about  the  middle  of  the  sixteenth  century,  and  was  used  as  a 
term  of  reproach  towards  the  Protestants.  Many  explanations  of  its  origin 
have  been  given,  but  it  has  most  plausibly  been  derived  from  the  Swiss-Ger- 
man woid  Eidgenossen  ("Confederates"  or  '■'■oath  colleagues'''),  a  political  nick- 
name borne  by  the  patriotic  party  in  Geneva  a  quarter  of  a  century  earlier, 
and  afterwards  extended  to  all  secret  conspirators  against  the  crown.  An 
explanation  given  by  Etienne  Pasquier  is  interesting  because  in  literature  the 
word  first  occurs  in  a  letter  of  his.  He  says  that  it  arose  in  Tours,  from  a  pop- 
ular superstition  that  a  hobgoblin,  known  as  le  ray  Hugon,  nightly  roamed  the 
streets  of  the  city,  whence  the  Protestants,  who,  from  fear  of  persecution,  dared 
not  to  meet  save  under  the  cover  of  darkness,  came  to  be  called  Huguenots. 

Scheler,  in  the  latest  edition  of  his  "  Dictionnaire  d'Etymologie  Frangaise,"  Paris  and 
Brussels,  1888,  pp.  275,  276,  enumerates  no  less  than  fifteen  etymologies  which  from  time  to  time 
have  been  suggested  for  this  word.  He  closes  his  article  with  these  words :  '*  In  the  presence 
of  popular  forms  current  in  the  south  of  France  for  huguenot,  such  as  alganau,  higanau, 
iganau  (see  Romania,  xi.  414),  the  etymology  eidgenossen  gains  much  in  authority; 
indeed,  M.  Baudry  has  placed  it  beyond  doubt  in  the  preliminary  notice  to  the  reproduction 
of  the  historical  engravings  of  Tostorel  and  Perissin."'  Scheler  is  perhaps  the  safest  author- 
ity at  present  in  matters  of  French  etymology. — American  Notes  and  Queries. 

Humanum  est  errare  (L.,  "To  err  is  human"),  a  saying  which  seems  to 
owe  its  verbal  dress  to  the  elder  Seneca  (Controv.,  lib.  iv.,  dial.  3),  but  in  senti- 
ment may  be  found  at  least  as  far  back  as  Theognis,  circa  B.C.  540,  who, 
according  to  Buchmann,  has  it  in  the  form,  "  Mistakes  wait  on  mortal  man." 
Sophocles  in  "Antigone,"  1023-24,  Euripides  in  "  Hippolytus,"  615,  and  an 
unknown  tragic  poet,  reaffirm  the  sentiment  in  the  same  words.  The  epigram 
upon  the  Greeks  who  fell  at  Chasronea,  quoted  by  Demosthenes,  Fro  Corona, 
§  289,  declares  that  "to  err  in  nothing  is  the  affair  of  the  gods."  Cicero, 
Philippics,  xii.  2,  puts  the  thought  in  this  form  :  "Cujusvis  hominis  est  errare, 
nullius  nisi  insipientis  in  errore  perseverare"  ("  Any  man  may  err,  only  a  fool 
persists  in  error").  In  modern  literature  the  most  famous  repetitions  of  the 
idea  are  Goethe's 

Es  irrt  der  Mensch,  so  lang  er  strebt, 

Faust :  Prologue  in  Heaven, 
and  Pope's 

To  err  is  human  ;  to  forgive,  divine. 

Essay  on  Criticism,  Part  IL,  1.  325. 

Bayard  Taylor  translated  Goethe  as  follows  : 

While  man's  desires  and  aspirations  stir. 
He  cannot  choose  but  err. 

But  he  has  the  grace  to  be  dissatisfied  with  this  rendering.  "  It  has  seemed 
to  me  impossible,"  he  says,  "  to  give  the  full  meaning  of  these  words — that 
error  is  a  natural  accompaniment  of  the  struggles  and  aspirations  of  Man — in  a 
single  line."     He  quotes  a  number  of  other  versions,  the  worst  being  Birch's, 

Man's  prone  to  err  in  acquisition, 
and  the  best,  where  none  are  good,  being  Hayward's  literal  prose,  "  Man  is 
liable  to  err,  while  his  struggle  lasts."     A  little  lower  down,  in  the  lines  thus 
translated  by  Bayard  Taylor, — 


LITER AR  V  CURIOSITIES.  499 

A  good  man,  through  obscurest  aspiration. 
Has  still  an  instinct  of  the  one  true  way, — 

Goethe  proclaims   his    faith    in    human   nature  through   all   its  errors   and 
shortcomings.     The  same  large  faith  dwelt  in  Shakespeare  : 

There  is  some  soul  of  goodness  in  things  evil, 

Would  men  observingly  distil  it  out. 

Henry  V.,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  i. 

And  again, — 

The  web  of  our  life  is  of  a  mingled  yarn,  good  and  ill  together  ;  our  virtues  would  be  proud 
if  our  faults  whipped  them  not ;  and  our  crimes  would  despair  if  they  were  not  cherished  by 
our  virtues.— ^//'J  Well  that  Ends  Well,  Act  iv„  Sc.  3. 

Burns's  appeal  for  charity  and  mutual  forgiveness  is  based  on  the  same 
great  truth  : 

Then  gently  scan  your  brother-man. 

Still  gentler  sister-woman ; 
Though  they  may  gang  a  kennin  wrang. 

To  step  aside  is  human. 

****** 
Then  at  the  balance  let's  be  mute. 

We  never  can  adjust  it ; 
What's  done  we  partly  may  compute. 

But  know  not  what's  resisted. 

Heine's  similar  plea  is  an  awful  mingling  of  irony,  sarcasm,  and  truth : 
Alas !  one  ought  really  to  write  against  no  one  in  this  world.  We  are  all  of  us  sick  and 
suffering  enough  in  this  great  Lazaretto,  and  many  a  piece  of  polemical  reading  involuntarily 
reminds  me  of  a  revolting  quarrel  in  a  little  hospital  at  Cracow,  where  I  was  an  accidental 
spectator,  and  where  it  was  terrible  to  hear  the  sick  mocking  and  reviling  each  other's  infirmi- 
ties, how  emaciated  consumptives  ridiculed  those  who  were  bloated  with  dropsy,  how  one 
laughed  at  the  cancer  in  the  nose  of  another,  and  he  again  jeered  the  locked-jaw  and  dis- 
torted eyes  of  his  neighbors,  until  finally  those  who  were  mad  with  fever  sprang  naked  from 
bed,  and  tore  the  coverings  and  sheets  from  the  maimed  bodies  around,  and  there  was  noth- 
ing to  be  seen  but  revolting  misery  and  mutilation. 

Humble  pie,  To  eat,  to  apologize  or  humiliate  one's  self  abjectly,  an  old 
English  expression  that  harks  back  to  the  days  when  English  forests  were 
stocked  with  deer  and  venison  pasty  was  commonly  seen  on  the  tables  of 
the  wealthy.  The  inferior  and  refuse  portions  of  the  deer,  termed  the  umbles, 
or  numbles,  were  generally  appropriated  to  the  poor,  who  made  them  into  a 
pie  :  hence  "  umble-pie"  became  suggestive  of  poverty,  and  afterwards  was 
applied  to  degradations  of  other  sorts,  the  word  "  umble"  being  misinterpreted 
into  "  humble." 

Humbug  was  introduced  as  a  slang  word  among  the  ton  about  the  middle 
of  the  eighteenth  century,  with  exactly  its  modern  meaning  or  want  of  mean- 
ing.    In  the  interim  its  meaning  had  varied  : 

There  is  a  word  very  much  in  vogue  with  the  people  of  taste  and  fashion,  whicti,  though 
it  has  not  even  the  "  penumbra"  of  a  meaning,  yet  makes  up  the  sum  total  of  the  wit,  sense, 
and  judgment  of  the  aforesaid  people  of  taste  and  fashion  !— "  This  peace  will  prove  a  con- 
founded humbug  upon  the  nation.  These  theatrical  managers  humbug  the  town  damnably  !" 
—Humbug  is  neither  an  English  word  nor  a  derivative  from  any  other  language.  It  is, 
indeed,  a  blackguard  sound,  made  use  of  by  most  people  of  distinction.  It  is  a  fine  make- 
weight in  conversation,  and  some  great  men  deceive  themselves  so  egregiously  as  to  think 
they  mean  something  by  \l.—  The  Student  (1751).  vol.  ii.  p.  41. 

Two  etymons  are  worth  noting  for  their  humorous  value,  and  also  because 
they  are  often  cited.  The  first  is  that  of  Mr.  F.  Crossby,  who  suggests  a  deri- 
vation from  the  Irish  uim  bog  (pronounced  um-biig),  meaning  "soft  copper," 
or  worthless  money.  James  II.  issued  from  the  Dublin  mint  a  coinage  of  a 
mixture  of  lead,  copper,  and  brass,  so  worthless  that  a  sovereign  possessed  an 
intrinsic  value  of  only  twopence,  and  might  have  been  bought  after  the  revolu- 
tion for  a  halfpenny  :  hence  "humbug"  as  the  opposite  of  "sterling." 


SOO  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  other  is  thus  given  by  Notes  and  Queries:  "Edward  Nathaniel  Lewer, 
•who  was  all  his  life  connected  with  the  London  Stock  Exchange,  and  died  on 
May  7,  1876,  aged  eighty,  once  said  in  all  seriousness  that  during  the  Napole- 
onic wars  so  much  false  news  of  politics  and  army  movements  came  through 
Hamburg  that  anything  that  smacked  of  the  incredible  was  received  with  the 
derisive  phrase  'Thai's  Hamburg,'  whence  is  derived,  by  corruption,  the  word 
'humbug.'  If  the  word  does  not  date  back  beyond  the  period  referred  to,  it 
seems  a  more  reasonable  derivation  than  the  very  labored  one  we  get  in  Web- 
ster's Dictionary." 

Humphrey,  To  dine  "w^ith  Duke.  The  Duke  Humphrey  with  whom  the 
dinnerless  are  facetiously  said  to  dine  was  Humphrey,  Duke  of  Gloucester 
(Henry  V.'s  brother),  who  was  Protector  during  the  minority  of  Henry  VI. 
He  was  a  great  patron  of  literature  and  the  arts,  and  famous  for  his  hospital- 
ity. Fuller,  in  his  "  Worthies,"  tells  us  that  the  proverb  "  hath  altered  the 
original  meaning  thereof,  for  first  it  signified  aliend  vivere  quadrd,  to  eat  by 
the  bounty  or  feed  by  the  favor  of  another  man,  for  Humphrey,  Duke  of 
Gloucester  (commonly  called  the  good  duke),  was  so  hospital  that  every  man 
of  fashion,  otherwise  unprovided,  was  welcome  to  dine  with  him.  But  after 
the  death  of  the  good  Duke  Humphrey  (when  many  of  his  former  almsmen 
were  at  a  losse  for  a  meal's  meat)  this  proverb  did  alter  its  copy,  to  dine  with 
Duke  Humjihrey  importing  to  be  dinnerless." 

A  more  circumstantial  explanation  of  the  saying  is  that  on  the  duke's  death 
the  report  arose  that  his  monument  was  to  be  erected  in  St.  Paul's.  The  re- 
port proved  untrue.  When  a  wag  had  no  place  to  dine  he  would  hang  around 
the  aisle* of  St.  Paul's,  pretending  to  be  looking  for  the  monument  of  Duke 
Humphrey.  This  soon  became  known  as  dining  with  Duke  Humphrey,  and 
a  monument  (really  that  of  Sir  John  Beauchamp)  was  pointed  out  as  his,  whom 
the  dinnerless  adopted  as  their  patron. 

Hunkers,  or  Old  Hunkers,  a  name  by  which  the  conservative  wing  of 
the  Democratic  parly  ni  New  York  State  became  known  in  1844,  ^s  distin- 
guished from  the  younger  element,  or  "  Barnbiirners."  (See  Hard  Shell.) 
The  term  is  derived  from  the  Dutch  word  honk  ("home").  It  is  curious  that 
the  latter  still  survives  in  the  games  of  children  in  New  York,  with  its  original 
significance  :  thus,  "  1  am  honk,"  for  "  I  am  home." 

Hurly-Burly,  meaning  a  noisy  tumult  or  great  confusion,  is  one  of  those 
variant  duplications  very  common  in  the  English  language,  as,  e.g.,  harum- 
scarum,  helter-skelter,  hobnob,  hoity-toity,  humdrum,  hurry-skurry,  etc.,  the 
etymology  of  all  of  which  is  extremely  obscure,  and  all  of  which  were  prob- 
ably evolved  in  common  speech.  Dr.  Johnson  is  reported  as  saying,  "  I  have 
been  told  that  this  word  [hurly-burlyj  owes  its  origin  to  two  neighboring 
families  named  Hurleigh  and  Burleigh,  which  filled  their  part  of  the  kingdom 
with  contests  and  violence."  He  was  too  careful,  however,  to  put  this  fanciful 
derivation  into  his  dictionary. 

There  is  an  English  word  of  rare  occurrence,  hurly,  meaning  "  bustle"  or 
*'  confusion,"  which  is  probably  the  basis  for  the  variant  "  hurly-burly  :" 
For  though  we  be  here  at  Burley, 
We'd  be  loath  to  make  a  hurly. 

Ben  Jonson  :   Gipsies  Metamorphosed, 

The  "  Burley"  mentioned  in  the  passage  is  probably  a  reference  to  the  house 
of  Burleigh,  where  the  masque  of  the  "  Gipsies"  was  performed. 

Hullabaloo,  a  word  of  cognate  meaning,  is  of  Irish  origin,  and  in  its  native 
tongue  is  the  name  for  the  coranach,  or  crying  together  at  funerals. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  50 1 

Hurrah.  This  word  is  of  purely  German  origin.  It  is  generally  assumed 
to  be  derived  from  the  imitative  interjection  hurr,  describing  a  rapid  move- 
ment, from  which  word  the  Middle  High-German  hurrcn,  to  "move  rapidly," 
or,  rather,  to  "  hurry,"  has  been  formed.  Hurrah  is,  therefore,  nothing  else  than 
an  enlarged  form  qI  hiirr.  In  Grimm's  "  Worterbuch"  we  find  the  interjection 
quoted  from  a  Minnesinger.  It  occurs  also  in  Danish  and  in  Swedish  ;  and 
it  would  be  interesting  to  know  when  it  was  first  introduced  into  England  in 
the  Anglicized  form  of  "  hurray."  In  Germany  it  was  frequently  used  during 
the  Napoleonic  wars  by  the  Prussian  soldiers,  and  it  also  occurs  in  some 
political  and  martial  songs  of  those  days.  Since  then  it  seems  to  have  been 
adopted  also  by  other  nations,  even  by  the  French  in  the  form  of  hourra. 
That  that  interjection  did  not  become  so  popular  in  Germany  as  a  cheer  at 
convivial  gatherings  as  in  England  is  probably  owing  to  the  circumstance 
that  preference  was  given  there  to  the  brief  exclamation  "  Hoch  !"  forming 
respectively  the  end  and  the  beginning  of  the  phrases  "  Er  lebe  hoch"  and 
"  Hoch  soil  er  leben."  Of  late  the  word  hurrah  seems  to  have  become  rather 
popular  in  Germany.  It  is  just  possible  that  the  English  reimported  it  there, 
or  that  it  was  revived  through  the  magnificent  poem  of  "  Hurrah  Germania," 
written  by  the  poet-laureate  of  the  German  people,  Ferdinand  Freiligrath. 

Hyperbole  (Gr.  vTxtp^iIkrt,  "excess,"  "overstrained  praise,"  etc.),  a  recog- 
nized figure  of  rhetoric,  meaning  an  extravagant  statement  or  asse]  Lion,  which, 
when  used  for  conscious  effect,  is  not  to  be  taken  too  seriously  or  too  literally. 
Yet  the  hyperbole  is  often  used  unconsciously  by  the  men  of  vivid  yet  un- 
balanced imagination  whom  the  world  sometimes  calls  liars  and  sometimes 
fools. 

Aristotle  says  that  hyperbole  is  a  figure  suited  only  to  a  person  enraged  or 
to  children  who  exaggerate  everything.  Whereupon  Chevreau  pertinently 
notes,  "  I  suppose,  according  to  this  maxim,  that  the  man  who  said  that  his 
estate  was  no  larger  than  a  laconic  epistle  must  be  set  down  either  as  a  child 
or  a  very  irascible  person.  I  remember  an  acquaintance  of  M.  de  Calprenede 
remarking  to  M.  de  Sercy,  the  bookseller  who  showed  him  that  romance, 
'This  author  boasts  of  having  a  large  mansion  and  an  extensive  forest;  I 
assure  you,  on  my  honor,  that  he  has  not  wood  enough  to  make  a  toothpick, 
and  that  a  tortoise  might  make  the  tour  of  his  house  in  a  quarter  of  an  hour.'  " 
This  is  the  hyjierbole  of  minimizing.  The  hyperbole  of  magnifying  is  the  more 
usual  form.  Excellent  instances  of  the  latter  style  Chevreau  might  have  found 
in  his  own  country  in  the  sayings  of  the  Gascons,  some  of  which  will  be  found 
duly  commemorated  under  the  head  of  Gasconade  [q.  v.).  To  give  an  ad- 
ditional example,  what  could  be  better  than  the  description  given  by  one 
Gascon  soldier  of  another.? — "  Hit  him  anywhere,  and  the  wound  is  mortal, 
for  he  is  all  heart."  Yet  even  the  Gascon  is  sometimes  compelled  to  yield  to 
the  superior  prowess  of  his  neighbor  the  Marseillais,  if  the  following  story 
be  a  characteristic  one  : 

Three  young  soldiers,  a  Parisian,  a  Gascon,  and  a  Marseillais,  were  walking  one  starry 
summer  night  on  the  shore  of  the  Mediterranean,  and  seeing  who  could  frame  the  most 
colossal  wish  for  a  fortune. 

"  I,"  said  the  Parisian,  "  wish  this  sea  were  all  ink ;  then  I'd  dip  my  pen  in  it,  make  a  big  g 
on  a  sheet  of  paper,  and  after  the  g  I'd  set  down  o's  until  the  ocean  were  dry,  and  the  sum  thus 
written  would  represent  my  fortune." 

"  And  I,"  said  the  Gascon,  "  wish  that  every  star  above  us  represented  a  bushel-bag  of 
louis-d'or  that  belonged  to  me." 

"  And  I,"  said  the  Marseillais.  "  wish  that  both  your  wishes  were  true,  and  that  you  might 
both  die  of  heart-disease  the  moment  after  you  had  made  your  wills  in  my  favor." 

The  Irishman  through  his  kinship  with  the  Gaul— for  there  is  more  than 
mere  sound-affinity  between  Gael  and  Gaul — resembles  him  in  his  love  of 
high-flown  phrases  and  verbal  pyrotechnics. 


502  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Here  is  a  bit  of  gorgeous  rhetoric  which  appeared  in  an  Irish  paper  for 
May  30,  1784,  <J  propos  of  the  first  appearance  of  Mrs.  Sarah  Siddons  in 
DuWin  : 

On  Saturday,  Mrs.  Siddons,  about  whom  all  the  world  had  been  talking,  exposed  her 
beautiful,  adamantine,  soft,  and  lovely  person,  for  the  first  time,  at  Smock- Alley  Theatre,  in 
the  bewitching,  melting,  and  all-tearful  character  of  "  Isabella." 

From  the  repeated  panegyrics  in  the  impartial  London  newspapers,  we  were  taught  to  ex- 
pect the  sight  of  a  heavenly  angel ;  but  how  were  we  supemaiurally  surprised  into  the  most 
awful  joy  at  beholding  a  mortal  goddess !  The  house  was  crowded  with  hundreds  more  than 
it  could  hold, — with  thousands  of  admiring  spectators  that  went  away  without  a  sight.  This 
extraordinary  phenomenon  of  tragic  excellence !  this  star  of  Melpomene  !  this  comet  of  the 
stage  I  this  sun  of  the  firmament  of  the  Muses !  this  moon  of  blank  verse  !  this  queen  and 
princess  of  tears!  this  Donnellan  of  the  poisoned  bowl  !  this  empress  of  the  pistol  and  dagger! 
this  chaos  of  Shakespeare  !  this  world  of  weeping  clouds  !  this  Juno  of  commanding  aspects  ! 
this  Terpsichore  of  the  curtains  and  scenes  !  this  Proserpine  of  fire  and  earthquake !  this 
Katterfelto  of  wonders  !  exceeded  expectation,  went  beyond  belief,  and  soared  above  all  the 
natural  powers  of  description  !  She  was  nature  itself !  She  was  the  most  exquisite  work  of 
art !  She  was  the  very  daisy,  primrose,  tuberose,  sweet-brier,  furze-blossom,  gilliflower,  wall- 
flower, cauliflower,  auricula,  and  rosemary  !  In  short,  she  was  the  bouquet  of  Parnassus. 
Where  expectation  was  raised  so  high,  it  was  thought  she  would  be  injured  by  her  appearance ; 
but  it  was  the  audience  who  were  injured  :  several  fainted  before  the  curtain  drew  up  !  When 
she  came  to  the  scene  of  parting  with  her  wedding-ring,  ah  !  what  a  sight  was  there  !  the  very 
fiddlers  in  the  orchestra,  albeit  unused  to  the  melting  mood,  blubbered  like  hungry  children 
crying  for  their  bread  and  butter ;  and  when  the  bell  rang  for  music  between  the  acts,  the  tears 
ran  from  the  bassoon-player's  eyes  in  such  plentiful  showers  that  they  choked  the  finger-stops, 
and,  making  a  spout  of  the  instrument,  poured  in  such  torrents  on  the  first  fiddler's  book,  that, 
not  seeing  the  overture  was  in  two  sharps,  the  leader  of  the  band  actually  played  in  one  flat. 
But  the  sobs  and  sighs  of  the  groaning  audience,  and  the  noise  of  corks  drawn  from  the 
smelling-bottles,  prevented  the  mistake  between  flats  and  sharps  being  discovered.  One 
hundred  and  nine  ladies  fainted,  forty-six  went  into  fits,  and  ninety-five  had  strong  hysterics  ! 
The  world  will  scarcely  credit  the  truth  when  they  are  told  that  fourteen  children,  five  old 
women,  one  hundred  tailors,  and  six  common-councilmen  were  actually  drowned  in  the  in- 
undation of  tears  that  flowed  from  the  galleries,  the  slips,  and  the  boxes  to  increase  the  briny 
pond  in  the  pit ;  the  water  was  three  feet  deep  ;  and  the  people  were  obliged  to  stand  upon  the 
benches,  and  were  in  that  position  up  to  their  ankles  in  tears  !  An  act  of  Parliament  against 
her  playing  any  more  will  certainly  pass. 


But  the  American  beats  the  world  in  this  field.  Indeed,  he  has  invented 
two  words,  "  highfalutin'  "  and  "  spread-eagleism,"  which  contain  a  vernacular 
savor  that  far  outshines  the  feebler  Latinism  of  the  term  "  hyperbole."  To  the 
mind  of  the  European  the  Yankee  is  a  person  who  is  continually  bragging 
that  he  "  kin  lick  all  creation"  (and  in  the  few  chances  that  have  been  off'ered 
to  him,  it  must  be  owned,  he  has  shown  some  possibilities  of  realizing  his 
boast),  and  is  continually  dwelling  on  the  fact  that  he  lives  in  the  biggest 
country,  with  the  biggest  rivers,  the  biggest  mountains,  and  the  biggest  men 
in  the  world.  It  was  this  tendency  that  Webster  once  burlesqued,  after 
dining  a  little  too  heavily  just  before  addressing  the  citizens  of  Rochester, 
New  York.  "  Men  of  Rochester  !"  he  cried,  "  I  am  glad  to  see  you  ;  and  I 
am  glad  to  see  your  noble  city.  Gentlemen,  I  saw  your  falls,  which  I  am 
told  are  one  hundred  and  fifty  feet  high  ;  that  is  a  very  interesting  fact. 
Gentlemen,  Rome  had  her  Cjesar,  her  Scipio,  her  Brutus  ;  but  Rome  in  her 
proudest  days  had  never  a  water-fall  a  hundred  and  fifty  feet  high.  Men  of 
Rochester,  go  on  !  No  people  ever  lost  their  liberty  who  had  a  water-fall  a 
hundred  and  fifty  feet  high  !" 

An  Englishman  boasting  of  the  superiority  of  the  horses  in  his  country 
mentioned  that  the  celebrated  Eclipse  had  run  a  mile  a  minute.  "  My  good 
fellow,"  exclaimed  a  Yankee  present,  "that  is  rather  less  than  the  average 
rate  of  our  common  roadsters.  I  live  in  my  country-seat  near  Boston, 
and  when  hurrying  to  town  of  a  morning  my  own  shadow  can't  keep  up  with 
me,  but  generally  comes  into  the  ofiice  to  find  me  from  a  minute  to  a  minute 
and  a  half  after  my  arrival.  One  morning  the  beast  was  restless,  and  I  rode 
him  as  fast  as  I  possibly  could  several  times  round  a  large  factory, — ^just  to 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  503 

take  the  Old  Harry  out  of  him.  Well,  sir,  he  went  so  fast  that  the  whole  time 
I  saw  my  back  directly  before  me,  and  was  twice  in  danger  of  riding  over 
myself."  This  story  has  a  kinship  with  the  familiar  yarn  of  the  man  who  was 
so  tall  that  he  had  to  go  up  a  ladder  to  take  off  his  hat,  of  the  man  equally 
small  who  went  down-cellar  to  untie  his  shoes,  of  the  man  who  could  find 
no  boot-jack  that  would  fit  hini  and  was  fain  to  content  himself  with  the  fork 
in  the  road. 

There  is  merit  in  the  following  story  told  by  Texas  Si/tings.  Frank  Jones, 
a  gentleman  from  Indiana,  was  seated  alongside  of  the  driver  on  the  stage 
going  to  Brownsville.  They  were  near  the  Rio  Grande.  Frank,  by  the  way, 
had  embezzled  a  lot  of  money,  and  was  en  route  to  Mexico.  "  Is  this  country 
safe.'"'  asked  Frank  of  the  driver.  "Safe!  Why,  of  course  it  is."  "No 
robbers.''"  "Robbers!  Why,  this  part  of  the  country  has  got  such  a  bad 
name  that  the  highway-robbers  are  afraid  to  risk  their  lives  in  these  parts." 

The  following  bit  of  soul-stirring  eloquence  is  credited  to  one  Colonel  Zell, 
who  stumped  several  of  the  Western  States  during  the  Presidential  campaign 
which  sent  Grant  to  the  White  House  for  the  second  time.  The  Democratic 
watchword  throughout  the  campaign  was  "  Anything  to  beat  Grant."  The 
colonel  was  addressing  an  enthusiastic  meeting  of  Republicans,  when  a  Demo- 
crat sung  out,  "  It's  easy  talkin',  colonel  ;  but  we'll  show  you  something 
next  fall."  The  colonel  at  once  wheeled  about,  and  with  uplifted  hands,  hair 
bristling,  and  eyes  flashing  fire,  cried  out,  "  Build  a  worm-fence  round  a 
winter  supply  of  summer  weather  ;  catch  a  thunder-bolt  in  a  bladder  ;  break 
a  hurricane  to  harness  ;  hang  out  the  ocean  on  a  grape-vine  to  dry  ;  but 
never,  sir,  never  for  a  moment  delude  yourself  with  the  idea  that  you  can  beat 
Grant."  Had  the  orator  been  taking  points  from  that  other  Western  speaker 
who  proposed  to  grasp  a  ray  of  light  from  the  great  orb  of  day,  spin  it  into 
threads  of  gold,  and  with  them  weave  a  shroud  in  which  to  wrap  the  whirl- 
wind which  dies  upon  the  bosom  of  the  West  ? 

In  the  way  of  eloquence  and  graphic  power  nothing  could  be  better  than 
this  from  a  Cleveland  paper's  account  of  a  suicide  by  hanging :  "An  owl 
hooted  lonesomely  ;  an  old  clock  on  the  shelf  ticked  with  terror;  a  dog 
howled  ;  it  was  midnight  outside  ;  the  wind  sighed  ;  a  cat  crouched  on  the 
cold  hearth  in  fear,  and  a  sound  like  the  laugh  of  a  maniac  came  from  the 
garret."  A  Colorado  newspaper  tells  how  "  the  cry  of  fire  rang  out  on  the 
still  air  about  eight  A.M.,"  and  "a  column  of  smoke  poured  out  of  the  roof  of 
the  adobe  building  corner  of  Fifth  and  G  Streets  like  the  signal-smoke  of  the 
Utes  from  the  mountain-heights  when  expecting  the  incursions  of  the  Arapa- 
hoes,  Modocs,  or  other  such  foes,"  how  the  fire  was  mastered  by  the  gallant 
firemen,  and  "  thus  was  a  far-reaching  conflagration  checked  like  a  worm  in 
the  bud  that  never  told  its  love."  Perhaps  the  Washington  Capitols  story 
about  President  Garfield  was  one  of  the  most  remarkable  specimens  of  the 
remarkable  literature  provoked  by  his  assassination.  Said  the  eloquent 
writer, — 

The  late  Czar,  when  fired  at,  before  the  Nihilist  bomb  blew  him  into  eternity,  shrieked 
and  fainted  with  terror.  The  phlegmatic  Emperor  of  Germany  never  recovered  the  shock  of 
a  slight  wound  from  bird-shot  fired  so  far  off  it  would  scarcely  have  killed  a  reed-bird.  But 
the  President  of  the  American  republic,  with  a  bullet  as  large  as  that  of  a  Remington  rifle 
tearing  through  his  vitals,  sets  his  teeth  without  a  shudder,  and  says,  "  I'll  chance  and  I'll 
win  !"  and.  softening  the  lines  of  his  face  into  the  sweetness  of  a  lover's  smile,  whispers  to  his 
dear  wife  as  she  kneels  beside  him,  "  Sweetheart,  have  no  fear;  I'll  pull  through!"  Such 
heroism,  such  manhood,  cause  the  blood  to  surge  in  the  heart  of  every  American. 

The  following  elegant  marriage-notice  appeared  in  1890  in  the  Dallas 
(Texas)  News: 

A  bright  sun  and  a  pleasant  afternoon  seemed  to  halo  the  happy  occasion,  and  its  reful- 
gence to  forecast  the  happiness  of  a  union  of  two  young  hearts  that  had  been  devoted  from 


504  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

youth  and  young  girlhood  through  the  years  to  the  full  maturity  of  young  manhood  and 
•womanhood,  and  at  last  so  auspiciously  brought  together  under  the  holy  sanction  of  God's 
ordinance  to  beat  as  one. 

On  the  very  threshold  of  their  lives  they  start  together  along  the  journey  of  existence  hand 
in  hand,  heart  to  heart,  full  of  that  hope  and  that  joy  which  aureoles  the  vistas  that  stretch 
out  before  them  and  gives  promise  of  so  much  of  that  brightness  that  pleases  and  gives  zest 
to  life. 

After  the  ceremony  which  made  them  one,  a  wedding-dinner  awaited  them,  and  in  that 
feast  of  good  things  they  read  an  earnest,  it  is  hoped,  of  the  largess  fate  with  kindly  hand  has 
in  store  for  them  through  all  their  years  to  come,  and  with  the  blessings  of  those  they  love 
and  who  love  them.  It  is  the  sincere  hope  of  all  their  many  friends  that  no  shadow  may  ever 
fall  upon  their  lives  and  only  fragrant  flowers  bloom  along  their  pathway. 

The  East  and  the  South  have  their  rhetoricians,  as  well  as  the  great  and 
wild  and  woolly  West.  Here  is  a  marriage-notice  which  appeared  in  a 
Georgia  paper  somewhere  in  the  fifties  : 

Married  simultaneously,  on  the  24th  ult.,  by  the  Rev.  J.  W.  Wallace,  J.  H.  Burritt,  Esq., 
of  Connecticut,  to  Miss  Ann  W.  Watson,  and  Mr.  Augustus  Wood  to  Miss  Sarah  Wair, 
Columbia  County,  Georgia.  The  ceremony  was  conducted  under  the  most  engaging  forms  of 
decency,  and  was  ministered  with  sober  and  impressive  dignity.  The  subsequent  hilarity 
was  rendered  doubly  entertaining  by  the  most  pleasing  urbanity  and  decorum  of  the  guests  ; 
the  convivial  board  exhibited  an  elegant  profusion  of  all  that  fancy  could  mingle  or  the  most 
splendid  liberality  collect ;  nor  did  the  nuptial  evening  afford  a  banquet  less  grateful  to  the 
intellectual  senses.  The  mind  was  regaled  with  all  that  is  captivating  in  colloquial  fruition, 
and  transported  with  all  that  is  divine  in  the  union  of  congenial  spirits  : 
While  hovering  seraphs  lingered  near. 
And  dropped  their  harps,  so  charmed  to  hear  ! 

Two  paragraphs  may  also  be  quoted  from  English  country  newspapers  as 
affording  excellent  examples  of  what  Lord  Coleridge  called,  when  alluding 
with  mild  malice  to  the  late  Sir  Fitzroy  Kelly's  annual  discourse  to  the  Lord 
Mayor  of  London,  "  cojjiousness  of  diction  :"  "  After  a  long  period  of  unsettled 
weather,  it  must  have  gladdened  every  one  yesterday  morning  when  the  sun, 
with  all  his  glorious  brilliancy  and  splendor,  shone  forth  with  golden  ray,  scat- 
tering cloud  and  mist,  and  with  his  cheering  beams  and  glowing  smile  causing 
the  birds  to  sing,  the  trees  of  the  forest  to  rejoice,  and  the  flowers  of  the  field 
to  unfold  themselves  in  bright  array."  "  We  are  being  constantly  reminded 
of  the  inexorability  of  death, — the  certain,  and  it  may  be  sudden,  visit  of '  the 
angel  with  the  amaranthine  wreath,'  as  death  is  so  beautifully  designated  by 
Longfellow, — and  it  is  our  painful  duty  to-day  to  chronicle  the  melancholy 
fact  that  one  who  had  played  his  part,  and  played  it  well  in  life,  has  passed 
through  nature  to  eternity." 

Indeed,  in  spite  of  their  phlegmatic  temperament  the  English  have  occa- 
sionally manifested  a  talent  for  hyperbole  which  dimly  intimates  what  they 
might  do  if  they  once  threw  off  the  national  mauvaise  konte.  It  was  a  British 
barrister  who,  in  the  middle  of  an  affecting  appeal  in  court  on  a  slander 
suit,  treated  his  hearers  to  the  following  flight  of  genius  :  "  Slander,  gentle- 
men, like  a  boa-constrictor  of  gigantic  size  and  immeasurable  proportions, 
wraps  the  coil  of  its  unwieldy  body  about  its  unfortunate  victim,  and,  heedless 
of  the  shrieks  of  agony  that  come  from  the  uttermost  depths  of  its  victim's  soul, 
— loud  and  verberatingas  the  night-thunder  that  rolls  in  the  heavens, — it  finally 
breaks  its  unlucky  neck  upon  the  iron  wheel  of  public  opinion,  forcing  him 
first  to  desperation,  then  to  madness,  and  finally  crushing  him  in  the  hideous 
jaws  of  moral  death." 

The  examples  so  far  cited  are  those  in  which  the  humor  is  of  an  uncon- 
scious, or  at  most  only  a  sub-conscious,  sort.  15ut  as  a  distinct  literary  figure 
the  value  of  over-statement,  of  exaggeration, — of  hyperbole,  in  short, — has 
been  recognized  by  many  of  the  masters  of  satire  and  of  innocent  fun.  Rabe- 
lais's  humor  largely  depends  ujion  it.  Gargantua,  with  his  insatiable  maw, 
taking  a  huge  mouthful  of  salad  wherein  six  pilgrims  were  involved,  who 
found  refuge  from  his  tusks  in  the  hollows  and  recesses  of  his  cavernous 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  505 

mouth,  wherein  they  subsisted  for  months, — Gargantua  riding  to  Paris  on  a 
great  mare,  who  knocks  down  whole  forests  with  every  swish  of  her  tail, — 
Gargantua  who,  en  passant,  robs  Notre  Dame  of  its  bells,  and,  after  a  battle, 
calmly  combs  the  cannon-balls  out  of  his  hair, — is  a  magnificent  conception, 
more  laughable  in  its  wild  extravagance  than  the  methodical  and  statistical 
creations  of  Swift. 

Falstaff  is  a  true  Rabelaisian  humorist,  as  in  his  description  of  Justice 
Shallow,  who  is  "  like  a  man  made  after  supper  with  a  cheese-paring,"  and 
who,  "  when  he  was  naked,  was  for  all  the  world  like  a  forked  radish,  with  a 
head  fantastically  carved  upon  it  with  a  knife,"  or  when  he  tells  red-nosed 
Bardolph,  "  I  never  see  thy  face  but  I  think  upon  hell-fire  and  Dives  that 
lived  in  purple,  for  there  he  is  in  his  robes,  burning,  burning.  .  .  .  Oh,  thou 
art  a  perpetual  triumph,  an  everlasting  bonfire-light !  Thou  hast  saved  me  a 
thousand  marks  in  links  and  torches,  walking  with  thee  in  the  night  betwixt 
tavern  and  tavern  ;  but  the  sack  that  thou  hast  drunk  me  would  have  brought 
me  lights  as  good  cheap  at  the  dearest  chandler's  in  Europe."  Better  still  is 
his  description  of  his  newly-levied  recruits  :  "  You  would  think  that  I  had  a 
hundred  and  fifty  tattered  prodigals,  lately  come  from  swine-keeping,  from 
eating  draff  and  husks.  A  mad  fellow  met  me  on  the  way,  and  told  me  I  had 
unloaded  all  the  gibbets  and  pressed  the  dead  bodies.  .  .  ._  There's  but  a 
shirt  and  a  half  in  all  my  company  ;  and  the  half  shirt  is  two  napkins, 
tacked  together,  and  thrown  over  the  shoulders  like  a  herald's  coat  without 
sleeves  ;  and  the  shirt,  to  say  the  truth,  stolen  from  my  host  of  St.  Alban's,  or 
the  red-nosed  innkeeper  of  Daventry.  But  that's  all  one  ;  they'll  find  linen 
enough  on  every  hedge." 

Dr.  Johnson  had  something  Rabelaisian  in  his  mirth,  especially  when  he 
was  attacking  Scotchmen.  When  Albert  Lee  spoke  of  some  Scotchmen  who 
had  taken  possession  of  a  barren  part  of  America  and  wondered  why  they 
should  choose  it,  "  Why,  sir,"  said  the  Doctor,  "  all  barrenness  is  compara- 
tive. The  Scotch  would  not  know  it  to  be  barren  ;"  and  when  Boswell 
stated  that  a  beggar  starving  in  Scotland  was  an  impossibility,  Johnson's 
reply  was,  "  That  does  not  arise  from  the  want  of  beggars,  but  from  the  im- 
possibility of  starving  a  Scotchman."  Which  reminds  one  of  Jekyll's  com- 
ment on  the  Irish  beggars,  that  they  had  helped  him  to  solve  one  problem  that 
had  always  vexed  him, — what  the  beggars  of  London  did  with  their  cast-ofF 
clothing.  Sydney  Smith,  another  defamer  of  the  Scotch,  would  often  throw 
loose  the  reins  of  his  fancy  and  dash  into  the  wildest  and  most  frolicsome 
metaphors,  as  when  he  told  a  lady  the  heat  was  so  great  "  I  found  there  was 
nothing  for  it  but  to  take  off  my  fiesh  and  sit  in  my  bones,"  or  when,  seeing  a 
child  stroking  a  turtle's  back,  thinking  it  would  please  the  turtle,  he  exclaimed, 
"  Why,  child,  you  might  as  well  stroke  the  dome  of  St.  Paul's  to  please  the 
dean  and  chapter."  Nothing  could  be  more  Rabelaisian  than  his  burst  of 
astonishment  when  told  that  a  young  neighbor  was  going  to  marry  a  very  fat 
woman  double  his  age  : 

Going  to  marry  her?  Going  to  marry  her?  Impossible!  You  mean  a  ^  art  of  her :  he 
could  not  marry  her  all  himself.  It  would  be  a  case,  not  of  bigamy,  but  trigamy  ;  the  neigh- 
borhood or  the  magistrates  should  interfere.  There  is  enough  of  her  to  furnish  wives  for  a 
■whole  parish.  One  man  marry  her!— it  is  monstrous.  You  might  people  a  colony  with  her, 
or  give  an  assembly  with  her,  or  perhaps  take  your  morning's  walk  round  her,— always  pro- 
vided there  were  frequent  resting-places,  and  you  were  in  rude  health.  I  once  was  rash 
enough  to  try  walking  round  her  before  breakfast,  but  only  got  half-way,  and  gave  it  up  ex- 
hausted. Or  you  might  read  the  Riot  Act  and  disperse  her.  In  short,  you  might  do  anything 
with  her  but  marry  her. 

It  is  curious  that  this  impromptu  description,  dashed  off  on  the  spur  of  the 
moment,  finds  its  parallel  in  the  jest-books  of  the  past.    Mr.  Carew  Hazlitt  is  our 
authority  for  the  following  instances  culled  from  sources  dated  1640  and  1790 ; 
w  43 


5o6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

"  That  fellow,"  said  Cyrano  de  Bergerac  to  a  friend,  "  is  always  in  one's  way  and  always 
insolent.  The  dog  is  conscious  that  he  is  so  fat  that  it  would  take  an  honest  man  more  than  a 
day  to  give  him  a  thorough  beating."  ,.,,,.  ,j  i_-       l    j   •  j 

A  man  being  rallied  by  Louis  XIV.  on  his  bulk,  which  the  kmg  told  him  had  increased 
from  want  of  exercise,  "  Ah,  Sire,"  said  he,  "  what  would  your  majesty  have  me  do  ?  1  have 
already  walked  three  times  round  the  Due  d'Aumont  this  mornmg."  _^ 

A  man  was  asked  by  his  friend  when  he  last  saw  his  jolly  comrade .         Oh,     said  he, 

"  I  called  on  him  yesterday  at  his  lodgings,  and  there  I  found  him  sitting  all  round  a  table  by 
himself." 

Smith's  jest  at  Lord  Russell's  small  size  is  well  known.  "There  is  my 
friend  Russell,"  he  said,  "  who  has  not  body  enough  to  cover  his  mind  :  his 
intellect  is  indecently  exposed."  Foote  caricatured  the  smallness  of  Garrick 
in  another  way,  equally  surprising,  when  he  proposed  to  get  up  a  marionette 
show,  half  the  size  of  life,  just  a  little  above  the  size  of  Garrick. 

A  much  earlier  attempt  in  the  same  line  is  found  in  Athenaeus,  who  tells  us 
that  Demetrius  Poliorcetes  said  of  the  palace  of  Lysimachus  that  it  was  in  no 
respect  different  from  a  comic  theatre,  for  that  there  was  no  one  there  bigger 
than  a  dissyllable.  . 

Is  the  following  sublime  or  ridiculous  ?  That  is  easily  answered  :  It  is  not 
sublime.  Is  it  meant  to  be  sublime  or  ridiculous  ?  One  would  give  the  same 
answer,  yet  not  so  glibly.  Perhaps  Heine  himself  was  not  quite  certain.  If 
one  may  hazard  a  guess,  he  started  out  to  be  very  sublime,  and  then,  fearing 
that  he  had  fallen  short  of  sublimity  by  a  step,  saved  himself  from  ridicule  by 
consciously  going  just  a  step  beyond  it : 

Explanation. 

Adown  and  dimly  came  the  evening. 

Wilder  tumbled  the  waves, 

And  I  sat  on  the  strand,  regarding 

The  snow-white  billows  dancing. 

And  then  my  breast  swelled  up  like  the  sea. 

And,  longing,  there  seized  me  a  deep  homesickness 

For  thee,  thou  lovely  form. 

Who  everywhere  art  near 

And  everywhere  dost  call. 

Everywhere,  everywhere, 

In  the  rustling  of  breezes,  the  roaring  of  ocean. 

And  in  the  sighing  of  this  my  sad  heart. 

With  a  light  reed  I  wrote  in  the  sand, 

"  Agnes,  I  love  but  thee  !" 

Bnt  wicked  waves  came  washing  fast 

Over  the  tender  confession. 

And  bore  it  away. 

Thou  too  fragile  reed,  thou  false  shifting  sand. 

Ye  swift-flowing  waters,  I  trust  ye  no  more  ! 

The  heavea  grows  darker,  my  heart  grows  wilder. 

And,  with  strong  right  hand,  from  Norway's  forests 

I'll  tear  the  highest  fir-tree. 

And  dip  it  adown 

Into  iEtna's  hot  glowing  gulf,  and  with  such  a 

Fiery,  flaming,  giant  graver, 

I'll  inscribe  on  heaven's  jet-black  cover, 

"  Agnes,  I  love  but  thee." 

And  every  night  I'll  witness,  blazing 
Above  me,  the  endless  flaming  verse. 
And  even  the  latest  races  born  from  me 
Will  read,  exulting,  the  heavenly  motto, 
"Agnes,  I  love  but  thee  !" 

Hypocrisy  is  the  homage  vice  pays  to  virtue  (Fr.  "  L'hypocrisie  est 
un  hommage  que  le  vice  rend  a  la  vertu").  This  famous  saying  is  Maxim  218 
in  Rochefoucauld's  "  Reflections."    Massillon  extended  the  phrase  as  follows  : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  5°? 

"  Le  vice  rend  hommage  a  la  vertu  en  s'honoiant  de  ses  apparences"  ("  Vice 
pays  homage  to  virtue  in  honoring  itself  by  assuming  its  appearance").  And 
Cowper  amplified  it  still  further  in  verse  : 

Hypocrisy,  detest  her  as  we  may, 

May  claim  this  merit  still,— that  she  admits 

The  worth  of  what  she  mimics  with  such  care. 

And  thus  gives  virtue  indirect  applause. 

The  Task. 


L  The  ninth  letter  and  third  vowel  in  the  English  alphabet,  borrowed 
through  the  Latin  and  Greek  from  the  Phoenician.  (See  Alphabet.)  The 
Phoenician  alphabet  gave  to  it  the  consonant  value  oi y,  the  Greeks  converted 
it  into  a  vowel,  and  the  Romans  used  it  both  as  vowel  and  as  consonant. 

I.  H.  S.  These  letters  are  frequently  translated  as  the  initials  of  the  sentence 
"In  hoc  salus"  ("In  this  safety"),  or  "Jesus  Hominum  Salvator"  ("Jesus 
Saviour  of  Men").  These  meanings  were,  indeed,  read  into  the  letters  at  a  very 
early  day.  But  originally  they  were  merely  an  abbreviation  of  the  Greek  name 
for  Jesus.  The  chief  manuscripts  of  the  New  Testament  were  written  through- 
out in  Greek  capital  letters.  Well-known  names  and  words  were  always  ab- 
breviated. Thus,  whenever  the  name  'IH20Y2  (Jesus)  occurred,  the  scribes 
wrote  only  the  first  three  letters,  IH2,  with  a  dash  over  the  eta,  or  H,  as  a  sign 
of  abbreviation.  When  the  Latin  scribes  came  to  make  copies  of  the  old 
Latin  versions  of  the  Testament  or  of  other  ecclesiastical  writings,  they 
adopted  the  old  Greek  abbreviation  for  Jesus,  and  transliterated  it,  as  they 
imagined,  into  I  H  S,  forgetting  that  the  Greek  H  was  not  an  H,  but  a  long  E. 
Later,  they  saw  in  the  mark  over  the  H  the  sign  of  the  cross,  and  read  the 
initials  as  "  Jesus  Hominum  Salvator,"  an  error  that  has  been  perpetuated 
to  the  present  day.  In  the  Middle  Ages  the  I.  H.  S.  was  held  to  have  an 
esoteric  meaning,  and  was  believed  to  exert  a  mysterious  influence  against 
the  powers  of  darkness.  After  the  plague  in  Florence  it  was  put  up  on  the 
walls  of  the  church  of  Santa  Croce.  It  was  also  stamped  on  the  large  wafer 
out  of  which  the  host  is  consecrated,  on  the  hilts  of  swords,  and  even  on  the 
backs  of  playing-cards,  to  increase  their  value.  When  Ignatius  Loyola  in 
1540  founded  the  Order  of  Jesus,  he  borrowed  the  L  H.  S.  with  a  new  inter- 
pretation, placing  it  under  a  cross  and  reading  it  "  In  Hoc  Salus."  This  is 
still  in  use  by  the  Jesuits,  frequently  in  the  form  of  a  monogram,  made  by  an 
H  with  the  I  in  the  middle  extending  upward  and  ending  in  a  cross,  the  whole 
being  entwined  with  an  S,  thus  forming  a  complete  cabalistic  monogram. 

I  say,  or  A'say,  the  nickname  which  Chinamen  bestow  upon  Englishmen, 
from  their  frequent  use  of  the  expression.  A  similar  sobriquet  is  common 
among  the  French  gamins  at  Boulogne.  So  the  French  in  Java  are  called 
by  the  natives  "  Orang-dee-dong"  =  the  "  dites-donc  people,"  and  both  in  Eng- 
land and  in  America  are  locally  nicknamed  "ding-dongs."  At  Amoy  the 
Chinese  used  to  call  out  after  foreigners,  "  Akee  !  akee  !"  a  reminiscence  of 
the  Portuguese  Aqiii !  ("  Here  !")  And  in  America  Germans  are  saluted  as 
"  Nix  cum  arouse"  and  "  Wie  Gehts." 

Iberia's  Pilot,  Christopher  Columbus.  Spain,  in  poetical  language,  is 
called  Iberia,  much  the  same  as  England  is  called  Britannia  and  America 
Columbia.  The  name  is  probably  derived  from  the  Iberi,  a  people,  known  to 
the  Romans,  who  lived  on  the  banks  of  the  Iberus  river,  the  modern  Ebro, 


So8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Launched  with  Iberia's  pilot  from  the  steep 
To  worlds  unknown  and  isles  beyond  the  deep. 

Campbell  :   The  Pleasures  of  Hope. 

Ice,  To  break  the.  Used  metaphorically  in  the  sense  of  removing  re- 
straint and  preparing  the  way  for  intercommunication.  The  metaphor  is 
employed  by  Shakespeare,  probably  the  originator  of  the  simile  : 

Petruchio.  Sir,  understand  you  this  of  me  in  sooth  : 

The  youngest  daughter  whom  you  hearken  for 
Her  father  keeps  from  all  access  of  suitors. 
And  will  not  promise  her  to  any  man 
Until  the  elder  sister  first  be  wed  : 
The  younger  then  is  free,  and  not  before. 
Tranio.  If  it  be  so,  sir,  that  you  are  the  man 

Must  stead  us  all,  and  me  amongst  the  rest. 
And  if  you  break  the  ice,  and  do  this  feat, — 
Achieve  the  elder,  set  the  younger  free 
For  our  access, — etc. 

Taming  of  the  Shrew,  Act  i.,  Sc.  2. 

Ici  on  parle  Frangais  ("  French  is  spoken  here"),  a  common  sign  in  Eng- 
lish shop-windows,  seen  also  in  America  and  in  other  non-Gallic  countries. 
Max  O'Rell,  in  "John  Bull  and  his  Island,"  says,  smartly  enough,  "On  the 
windows  of  all  the  fashionable  shops  you  see  Jci  011  park  Fratifais.  On,  in- 
definite pronoun,  here  refers  generally  to  the  person  who  happens  to  be  absent 
from  the  shop  when  you  enter  it :  I  have  experienced  this  many  times." 
But  Max  O'Rell  had  been  anticipated  by  Mark  Twain  in  "The  Innocents 
Abroad :" 

In  Paris  we  often  saw  in  shop-windows  the  sign  "  English  Spoken  Here,"  just  as  one  sees 
in  the  windows  at  home  the  sign  "  Ici  on  parle  Frangais."  We  always  invaded  these  places 
at  once, — and  invariably  received  the  information,  framed  in  faultless  French,  that  the  clerk 
who  did  the  English  for  the  establishment  had  just  gone  to  dinner  and  would  be  back  in  an 
hour, — would  Monsieur  buy  something?  We  wondered  why  those  parties  happened  to  take 
their  dinners  at  such  erratic  and  extraordinary  hours,  for  we  never  called  at  a  time  when  an 
exemplary  Christian  would  be  in  the  least  likely  to  be  abroad  on  such  an  errand.  The  truth 
was,  it  was  a  base  fraud,— a  snare  to  trap  the  unwary,— chaff  to  catch  fledglings  with.  They 
had  no  English-murdering  clerk.  They  trusted  to  the  sign  to  inveigle  foreigners  into  their 
lairs,  and  trusted  to  their  own  blandishments  to  keep  them  there  till  they  bought  something. 

Ignorance,  Humors  of.  A  well-known  editor  is  authority  for  the  state- 
ment that  whenever  a  man  or  woman  is  thoroughly  ignorant  he  or  she  takes 
to  writing  for  the  magazines. 

No  doubt  an  editor's  waste-basket  would  furnish  many  illustrative  examples 
of  the  humors  of  ignorance.  It  has  been  said  that  only  an  editor  can  rightly 
estimate  the  number  of  fools  in  the  world.  Perhaps  the  man  who  said  that 
was  right.  The  mere  eccentricities  of  spelling  are  beyond  number.  An  ex- 
cellent example  of  what  may  be  done  in  a  limited  space  is  the  following : 
"They  were  very  stricked  on  these  wholy  days."  In  one  narrative  a  "weekly 
mother"  has  figured, — a  portentous  parturitive  phenomenon.  Another  author 
describes  the  heroine's  "masses  of  raving  black  hair."  On  a  later  page,  by 
the  same  hand,  appears  "  a  female  figure,  down  which  flowed  a  beautiful  set 
of  hair."  A  valuable  advertising  agent  this  writer  would  make  to  the  Suther- 
land sisters  ! 

Here  is  a  misquotation  that  has  decided  merits  : 

There  is  a  divinity  that  shapes  our  ends, 

No  matter  how  we  may  rough-hew  the  outside. 

A  single  instance  will  show  what  danger  lurks  in  foreign  tongues:  "G — 
V —  was  a  brilliant  society  man,  and  had  been  the  idol  of  the  decolleti  of  two 
continents."  And  so  on  and  so  on.  Booksellers,  librarians,  and  other  people 
who  are  supposed,  more  or  less  facetiously,  to  come  in  contact  with  the  intel- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  509 

ligent  classes,  also  have  their  anecdotes  of  curious  mistakes  made  by  patrons 
and  customers. 

"  Have  you  Cometh  ?"  said  a  lady  to  a  clerk  in  a  book-store. 

"  Cometh,  ma'am  ?"  replied  the  clerk,  in  perplexity. 

"Oh,  well,"  said  the  lady,  "  I  saw  a  book  called  '  Goeth,' and  I  thought 
there  might  be  a  companion  book  called  'Cometh.'" 

It  was  some  time  before  the  bookseller  realized  that  Goethe  was  in  the 
lady's  mind.  That  name,  indeed,  has  always  been  a  phonetic  stumbling-block. 
A  Chicago  newspaper,  as  an  instance  of  the  spread  of  enlightenment  in  the 
Western  Athens,  says  that  formerly  his  fellow-townsmen  used  to  pronounce 
the  name  to  rhyme  with  teeth,  but  now  they  pronounce  it  to  rhyme  with 
dirty. 

The  librarian  of  the  Portland  (Maine)  public  library  furnishes  an  amusing 
budget  of  anecdotes.  A  small  boy  anxiously  inquired,  "  Is  this  the  Republi- 
can library  V  Another  asl<ed  for  the  first  book  that  Rose  ever  wrote,  Rose 
being  interpreted  to  mean  E.  P.  Roe  ;  still  another  wanted  a  book  by  the 
same  opera, — "  author"  and  "  opera"  probably  being  equally  meaningless  to 
his  youthful  understanding  ;  and  a  fourth  wanted  one  of  Oliver  Twist's  books 
about  Little  Dorrit.  The  following  is  a  list  of  titles  recently  called  for  in  this 
library : 

TITLES   GIVEN.  BOOKS   REQUIRED. 

Jane's  Heirs,  Jane  Eyre. 

John  Ingersoll,  John  Inglesant. 

Illuminated  Face,  Face  Illumined. 

Prohibition,  Probation. 

Bullfinch's  Agent  Fables,  Bullfinch's  Age  of  Fables. 

Patty's  Reverses,  Patty's  Perversities. 

Little  Lord  Phantom,  Little  Lord  Fauntleroy. 

Silence  of  Dean  Stanley,  Silence  of  Dean  Maitland. 

Mona's  Charge,  Mona's  Choice. 

Zigzag's  Classic  Wonders,  Zigzag  Journeys  in  Classic  Lands. 

Boots  and  Spurs,  and 

Boots  and  Shoes,  Boots  and  Saddles. 

Mary's  Lamb,  .  Mary  Lamb. 

Fairy  Tails,  Fairy  Tales. 

Chromos  from  English  History,  Cameos  from  English  History. 

Not  in  the  Perspective,  Not  in  the  Prospectus. 

Sand  Maid,  Sun  Maid. 

The  British  Encyclo  Dom  Pedro,  British  Encyclopaedia. 

But  the  laugh  is  not  always  on  the  side  of  the  book-clerk  or  the  library 
attendant.  A  lady  went  into  a  music-store  in  Philadelphia  and  asked  for 
"Songs  without  Words."  The  clerk  stared  at  her  in  astonishment.  "But," 
he  said,  "you  know,  that  is  impossible:  there  cannot  be  songs  without 
words."  "Can  you  tell  me  where  I  can  find  '  Rienzi's  Address'.-"' asked  a 
young  lady  of  a  clerk  in  Brooklyn.  "  You  might  look  in  the  Directory,"  he 
suggested. 

In  the  famous  shop  of  Herr  Spithoever,  in  Rome,  an  American  damsel, 
asking  for  Max  O'Rell's  book  on  the  United  States,  was  scornfully  advised 
that  "Marcus  Aurelius  vas  neffer  in  der  Unided  Shtades."  In  a  large  library 
in  Philadelphia,  a  young  lady  asked  for  "English  as  She  is  Spoke."  The 
assistant  librarian,  in  a  tone  of  indirect  reproof  which  reached  the  delighted 
ears  of  the  young  lady,  bade  the  boy  get  "English  as  It  is  Spoken." 

The  perversity  of  man  is  amusingly  illustrated  by  an  anecdote  Max  Miiller 
told  in  the  course  of  a  recent  lecture  at  Oxford:  "I  was  lecturing  at  the 

43* 


5tO  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Royal  Institute,  in  London.  The  audience  there  is  the  most  enlightened  and 
critcal  one  has  to  face  in  the  world, — but  it  is  mixed.  It  being  necessary  to 
prove  that  Hebrew  was  not  the  primitive  language  of  mankind,  I  had  devoted 
a  lecture  to  this  subject.  I  explained  how  it  arose,  and  placed  before  my 
audience  a  genealogical  tree  of  the  Aryan  and  Semitic  languages,  where  every- 
body could  see  the  place  which  Hebrew  really  holds  in  the  pedigree  of  human 
speech.  After  the  lecture  was  over,  one  of  my  audience  came  to  thank  me  for 
having  shown  so  clearly  how  all  languages,  including  Sanscrit  and  English, 
were  derived  from  the  Hebrew,  the  language  spoken  in  Paradise  by  Adam 
and  Eve !" 

The  learned  philologist  was  overwhelmed  with  dismay,  and,  thinking  the 
fault  lay  in  his  inability  to  elucidate  his  point,  told  Professor  Faraday  that  he 
must  really  give  up  lecturing.  But  the  latter  consoled  his  friend  with  an 
anecdote  from  his  own  experience.     He  said, — 

"  I  have  been  lecturing  in  the  Institute  many  years,  and  over  and  over  again, 
after  I  have  explained  and  shown  how  water  consists  of  hydrogen  and  oxygen, 
some  stately  dowager  has  marched  up  to  me  after  the  lecture  to  say  in  a  con- 
fidential whisper,  '  Now,  Mr.  Faraday,  you  don't  really  mean  to  say  that  this 
water  here  in  your  tumbler  is  nothing  but  hydrogen  ?'  " 

Educated  people  may  be  found  in  England  who  believe  that  Henry  Clay 
makes  the  cigars  which  go  by  his  name,  that  Daniel  Webster  wrote  the 
Unabridged  Dictionary,  that  Washington  Irving  was  an  eccentric  preacher. 
Fame,  indeed,  is  an  old  lady  who  shudders  at  the  Atlantic  voyage  ;  and  there 
is  nothing  which  so  startles  an  American  traveller  into  realizing  that  he  is 
actually  abroad  as  to  find  the  reputations  and  authorities  which  had  awed  him 
from  his  cradle  not  only  unhonored,  but  absolutely  unknown. 

But  it  is  not  on  American  subjects  alone  that  English  people,  people  of 
culture  and  refinement,  are  curiously  ignorant.  Men  who  have  devoted  great 
attention  to  the  classics  and  mathematics  frequently  have  but  little  current 
information.  Ignorance  of  this  sort  is  said  to  have  lost  the  English  the  island 
of  Java.  The  story  runs  that  the  minister  by  whom  it  was  ceded  to  Holland 
in  1816  was  under  the  impression  that  it  was  too  small  and  insignificant  to 
contend  about ;  and  among  the  most  firmly  rooted  traditions  of  American 
diplomacy  is  one  which  represents  the  English  commissioner  as  agreeing  to 
the  surrender  of  Oregon  "  because  a  country  in  which  a  salmon  does  not  rise 
to  the  fly  cannot  be  worth  much." 

A  curious  incident  occurred  during  the  Crimean  War.  Commodore  Elliot 
was  blockading  a  Russian  squadron  in  the  Gulf  of  Saghalin,  on  the  east 
coast  of  Siberia.  Thinking  he  had  the  Russians  in  a  cul-de-sac,  he  com- 
placently waited  for  them  to  come  out,  as  the  water  was  too  shallow  for  him 
to  attack  them.  As  the  enemy  did  not  come  out,  he  sent  in  to  investigate, 
and  found,  to  his  astonishment,  that  Russians  and  ships  had  vanished  !  While 
he  had  been  waiting  for  them  in  the  south  they  had  quietly  slipped  out  by  the 
north,  teaching  both  him  and  the  British  government  a  rather  severe  lesson 
in  geography,  as  it  had  been  thought  that  Saghalin  was  an  isthmus ;  and  they 
were  totally  unaware  of  a  narrow  channel  leading  from  the  gulf  to  the  Sea 
of  Okhotsk. 

Speaking  of  the  small  circle  in  which  even  the  greatest  move.  Lord  Beacons- 
field  used  to  tell  the  story  that  Napoleon  I.,  a  year  after  he  became  emperor, 
determined  to  find  out  if  there  was  any  one  in  the  world  who  had  never 
heard  of  him.  Within  a  fortnight  the  police  of  Paris  had  discovered  a  wood- 
chopper  at  Montmartre,  within  Paris,  who  had  never  heard  of  the  Revolution, 
nor  of  the  death  of  Louis  XVI.,  nor  of  the  Emperor  Napoleon. 

Mr.  Roebuck,  in  a  speech  made  at  Salisbury  in  1862,  asserted  that  when 
he  told  a  "shrewd,  clever  Hampshire  laborer"  that  the  Duke  of  Wellington 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  Si  I 

was  dead,  the  man  replied,  "  Ah,  sir,  I  be  very  sorry  for  he,  but  who  was 

he  ?" 

A  contemporary  magazinist  shortly  afterwards  dwelt  at  some  length  upon 
this  anecdote,  deducing  from  it  that  the  Hampshire  laborer  was  a  true  gentle- 
man, in  being  above  the  meanness  of  pretending  to  know  a  thing  of  which  he 
was  ignorant. 

There  must  be  many  true  gentlemen  and  many  true  ladies  in  the  world  ! 

The  Miss  J.,  for  example,  whose  letters  to  and  from  the  Duke  of  Wel- 
lington were  recently  published,  was  a  true  lady.  In  the  preliminary  biog- 
raphy (page  2)  we  are  told  that  she  belonged  to  the  "smaller  English  gentry," 
and  was  brought  up  at  "  one  of  the  best  schools  in  England,  where  many  of 
her  companions  were  of  noble  birth  ;"  and  yet  this  young  woman  of  twenty, 
this  companion  of  the  aristocracy,  when  she  made  her  first  epistolary  attack 
in  1834,  confessedly  in  the  hope  of  getting  the  duke  to  marry  her,  "was  not 
aware  that  he  was  the  conqueror  of  Bonaparte,  and  did  not  even  know  when 
the  battle  of  Waterloo  took  place." 

An  effort  has  been  made  to  prove  that  General  Grant  was  a  true  gentleman 
of  the  same  kind.     In  England  the  following  story  has  been  related  as  a  fact : 

"  General  Grant  was  once  invited  to  dine  at  Apsley  House  by  the  second 
Duke  of  Wellington.  A  most  distinguished  party  assembled  to  meet  him. 
During  a  pause  in  the  middle  of  the  dinner  the  ex-President,  it  is  related, 
addressing  the  duke  at  the  head  of  the  table,  said,  '  My  lord,  I  have  heard 
that  yourlfather  was  a  military  man.     Was  that  the  case  ?' " 

The  anecdote  is  repeated  in  Sir  William  Eraser's  book,  "Words  'bn  Wel- 
lington." But  in  the  very  same  book,  one  hundred  pages  farther  on.  Sir 
William  regretfully  owns  that  he  asked  the  second  duke  what  really  took 
place,  and  was  assured  there  was  not  a  word  of  truth  in  the  story. 

Anecdotes  run  in  cycles.  Mr.  Roebuck's  conversation  with  the  Hampshire 
laborer  bears  a  striking  resemblance  to  a  story  that  is  found  in  many  jest- 
books,  touching  an  old  lady  "in  a  retired  village  in  the  West  of  England," 
wiio,  when  it  was  told  her  that  Frederick  the  Great,  King  of  Prussia,  was  dead, 
exclaimed,  "  Is  a',  is  a'  1    The  King  o'  Prussia  !     And  who  may  he  be  .-"' 

It  is  the  fashion  to  speak  of  Shakespeare  as  a  writer  of  world-wide  renown. 
Yet  it  appears  that  there  are  many  true  gentlemen  in  the  world  who  have 
never  heard  of  him. 

While  passing  through  Stratford-on-Avon,  Mr.  Toole,  the  English  comedian, 
saw  a  rustic  sitting  on  a  fence.  "That's  Shakespeare's  house,  isn't  it?"  he 
asked,  pointing  to  the  building.  "  Yes."  "  Ever  been  there  V  "  No."  "  How 
long  has  he  been  dead  ?"  "  Don't  know."  "  Brought  up  here  V  "  Yes." 
"  Did  he  write  anything  like  the  Family  Herald,  or  anything  of  that  sort  ?" 
"  Oh,  yes,  he  writ."  "  What  was  it  ?"  "  Well,"  said  the  rustic,  "  I  think  he 
wrote  for  the  Bible." 

"  Come  and  dine  with  me  to-morrow,"  said  a  T.  G.  to  a  friend  the  other 
day. 

"  Afraid  I  must  decline  ;  I'm  going  to  see  '  Hamlet.'  " 

"Never  mind  ;  bring  him  with  you." 

"  Have  you  seen  the  '  Merchant  of  Venice'  ?"  asked  a  New-Yorker. 

"No  ;  what  does  he  sell .'"  queried  the  Chicago  drummer  in  return. 

But  these  are  jokes  from  the  comic  papers,  and  lack  authenticity. 

George  Moore,  the  English  novelist,  once  had  a  play  at  the  Odeon,  in  Paris. 
At  the  same  time  an  adaptation  of  "Othello"  was  being  rehearsed  at  the 
same  theatre.     One  morning  Moore  called  to  see  the  manager. 

"  What  name  shall  I  give,  monsieur  V  asked  the  concierge. 

"Tell  M.  Porell  that  the  English  author  whose  play  he  has  accepted  desires 
to  see  him." 


512  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  concierge  went  toward  the  manager's  room. 

"  There  is  a  gentleman  in  the  hall  who  tells  me  he  is  the  English  author 
whose  play  has  just  been  accepted,"  he  said  to  the  otficial. 

"  Quite  right,"  answered  the  latter.  "  Send  him  in.  Monsieur  Shakespeare, 
no  doubt." 

A  correspondent  of  the  English  Notes  and  Queries  recently  supplied  two 
instances  of  remarkable  ignorance  that  came  under  his  personal  notice. 
Although  they  occurred  at  the  opposite  ends  of  England,  they  are,  oddly 
enough,  both  connected  with  the  Waverley  Novels.  He  was  once  con- 
cerned in  the  letting  of  a  "public,"  as  it  would  be  called,  in  Cumberland,  on 
the  road  to  Scotland,  named  "The  Dandie  Dinmont."  Some  one  who  called 
at  the  office  to  make  inquiries  about  it  said,  "  It's  a  very  curious  name.  What 
does  it  mean  ?"  Yet  he  was  a  Borderer,  and  the  neighborhood  of  Carlisle  is 
no  great  distance  from  Liddesdale.  "  I  tried,"  says  the  correspondent,  "  to 
explain  to  him  who  Dandie  Dinmont  was;  but  how  far  he  was  the  wiser  for 
my  elucidation  I  know  not." 

The  other  was  in  Devonshire.  The  narrator  was  on  the  outside  of  a  coach 
which  ran  at  that  time  through  a  district  where  there  is  now  a  railway.  Passing 
a  house  called  "  Ivanhoe  Cottage,"  he  heard  another  passenger,  who  was 
talking  to  the  coachman,  say,  "  I  have  often  wondered  what  the  name  of  that 
house  means."  The  "  often"  showed  that  he  was  of  an  inquiring  mind ; 
and  yet  he  was  evidently  ignorant  of  the  very  existence  of  Scott's  splendid 
romance. 

Tennyson  is  fond  of  telling,  apropos  of  his  early  residence  at  Haslemere,  a 
story  of  a  certain  laboring-man.  "  Who  lives  there  V  asked  a  visitor,  pointing 
to  the  Laureate's  house.  "  Muster  Tennysun,"  answered  the  laboring-man. 
"What  does  he  do?"  was  the  next  inquiry.  "Well,  muster,  I  doan't  rightly 
know  what  he  does,"  answered  the  rustic,  scratching  his  head.  "  I's  often 
been  axed  what  his  business  is,  but  I  think  he's  the  man  as  maks  the  poets." 

An  Oxonian  tells  the  following  story  to  show  how  ignorant  a  very  learned 
man  can  manage  to  be  of  what  almost  everybody  else  knows.  One  of  the 
professors  was  in  conversation  with  a  friend  who  happened  to  refer  to  the 
novelist  Thackeray,  and  was  much  surprised  to  see  that  the  professor  did  not 
understand. 

"  Why,"  said  the  friend,  "  don't  you  remember  the  author  of '  Vanity  Fair'  i"' 

"  Oh,  ah,  yes  !"  was  the  answer.     "  Bunyan  ;  clever,  but  not  orthodox." 

Such  ignorance,  however,  is  not  confined  to  English  professors.  Hon. 
Jerry  Simpson,  familiarly  known  as  Sockless  Jerry,  was  complimenting  Daniel 
Webster  in  one  of  his  speeches,  and,  in  glowing  terms,  referred  to  his  diction- 
ary. A  friend  pulled  Jerry's  coat-tail  and  informed  him  that  Noah  was  the 
man  who  made  the  dictionary.  "  The  deuce  you  say  !"  replied  the  impertur- 
bable Jerry.     "Noah  built  the  ark." 

In  1887  the  principal  of  a  public  school  in  Pennsylvania  wrote  to 
Nathaniel  Hawthorne,  care  of  Ticknor  &  Fields,  asking  for  his  autograph,  as 
it  was  proposed  to  hold  a  literary  fair  to  obtain  money  for  a  school  library. 
Evidently  the  library  was  badly  needed.  Similarly  a  letter  was  received  in 
Philadelphia  from  the  compiler  of  a  proposed  "  Directory  of  Authors,"  which 
was  addressed  to  Edgar  Allan  Poe,  and  requested  some  biographical  par- 
ticulars. 

It  is  a  pity  the  directory  lias  not  yet  been  published.  Let  us  trust  that 
publication  has  only  been  suspended.     It  would  be  a  valuable  work. 

And  this  reminds  one  of  Lady  Bulwer's  story  of  the  society  lady. 

"  Who  is  this  Dean  Swift  they  are  talking  about  ?"  she  whispered  to  Lady 
Bulwer,  during  a  pause  in  the  conversation.  "  I  should  like  to  invite  him  to 
one  of  my  receptions." 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  513 

"Alas,  madame,  the  Dean  did  something  that  has  shut  him  out  of  society." 
"  Dear  me  !  what  was  that  ?" 
"Well,  about  a  hundred  years  ago  he  died." 

The  elder  Dumas  used  to  find  amusement  in  telling  a  story  in  point  con- 
cerning Victor  Hugo  and  himself.  "  One  fine  day,"  he  says,  "  Hugo  and 
myself  were  chosen  as  witnesses  of  a  marriage,  and  we  went  to  the  mairie  to 
give  our  names  and  addresses.  The  author  of  '  Ruy  Bias'  was  then  in  the 
meridian  of  his  fame,  and,  what  is  more,  he  was  an  Academician  and  a  peer 
of  France.  '  Your  name  ?'  asked  the  official  at  his  little  window.  'Victor 
Hugo.'  'With  an  i ?'  queried  the  scribe.  'As  you  wish,' said  Hugo,  with 
admirable  coolness.  I  was  then  asked  my  profession.  Now,  I  had  brought 
out  at  this  time  more  than  twenty  pieces.  My  name  for  ten  years  might  have 
been  seen  at  the  foot  of  the  feuilletons  of  twenty  journals  read  everywhere 
and  of  which  I  had  tremendously  increased  the  circulation,  and  I  found 
myself  unknown  by  this  servant  of  the  government, — a  man  who  could  read 
and  write  !  I  kept  my  self-possession,  nevertheless,  seeing  that  Hugo  was  in 
the  same  case  as  myself,  and  when  the  clerk,  surprised  at  my  silence,  again 
asked  my  profession,  I  answered,  ' proprietaire.^ " 

Talleyrand's  wife  was  the  reverse  of  brilliant,  and  he  used  to  excuse  his 
marriage  on  the  ground  that  "  clever  women  may  compromise  their  husbands, 
stupid  women  only  compromise  themselves."  One  day  the  famous  traveller 
M.  Denon  was  expected  to  dinner,  and  Talleyrand  conjured  Madame  to  pre- 
pare herself  for  sensible  conversation  by  looking  over  Denon's  works.  Un- 
fortunately, on  her  way  to  the  library  Madame  forgot  the  name.  She  could 
only  remember  it  ended  in  oti.  The  librarian  smilingly  handed  her  a  copy  of 
"  Robinson  Crusoe."  Madame  easily  mastered  its  contents,  and  at  table  aston- 
ished her  guest  by  exclaiming,  "  Mon  Dieu,  monsieur,  what  joy  you  must  have 
felt  in  your  island  when  you  found  Friday  !" 

Practical  jokers  are  often  fond  of  assuming  a  similar  ignorance  for  the  pur- 
pose of  taking  down  undue  self-importance.  When  Mr.  Moody,  the  revi- 
valist, was  at  the  height  of  his  reputation,  he  entered  a  drug-store  in  Chicago 
to  distribute  temperance  tracts.  At  the  back  of  the  store  sat  an  elderly 
citizen  reading  a  morning  paper.  Mr.  Moody  threw  one  of  the  tracts  on  the 
paper  before  him.  The  old  gentleman  glanced  at  the  tract  and  then  benig- 
nantly  at  Mr.  Moody.  "  Are  you  a  reformed  drunkard  .'"'  "  No,  I  am  not," 
said  Mr.  Moody,  indignantly.  "Then  why  in  thunder  don't  you  reform?" 
asked  the  old  gentleman. 

But  the  best  of  all  these  stories  is  told  of  Artemus  Ward.  As  he  was  once 
travelling  in  the  cars,  dreading  to  be  bored,  and  feeling  miserable,  a  man 
approached  him,  sat  down,  and  said, — 

"Did  you  hear  the  last  thing  on  Horace  Greeley?" 

"Greeley?     Greeley  i"'  said  Artemus.     "  Horace  Greeley  ?     Who  is  he  ?" 
The  man  was  quiet  about  five  minutes.     Pretty  soon  he  said, — 
"  George  Francis  Train  is  kicking  up  a  good  deal  of  a  row  over  in  Eng- 
land :  do  you  think  they  will  put  him  in  a  bastile  ?" 

"  Train  ?  Train  ?  George  Francis  Train  ?"  said  Artemus,  solemnly,  "  I 
never  heard  of  him." 

This  ignorance  kept  the  man  quiet  for  fifteen  minutes ;  then  he  said, — 
"What  do  you  think  about  General  Grant's  chances  for  the  Presidency? 
Do  you  think  they  will  run  him  ?" 

"Grant?  Grant?  Hang  it,  man,"  said  Artemus,  "you  appear  to  know 
more  strangers  than  any  man  I  ever  saw." 

The  man  was  furious.    He  walked  up  the  car,  but  at  last  came  back  and  said, — 
"  You  confounded  ignoramus,  did  you  ever  hear  of  Adam  V 
Artemus  looked  up,  and  said,  "  What  was  his  other  name  ?" 
hh 


514  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Ignorance  is  bliss.    One  of  Gray's  most  familiar  mintages  occurs  at  the 

end  of  stanza  lo  of  his  "  Ode  on  a  Distant  Prospect  of  Eton  College  :" 

Yet  ah  !  why  should  they  know  their  fate. 
Since  sorrow  never  comes  too  late. 

And  happiness  too  swiftly  flies? 

Thought  would  destroy  their  paradise. 
No  more.     Where  ignorance  is  bliss, 

'Tis  folly  to  be  wise. 

Davenant  has  the  same  idea  in  the  lines, — 

Since  knowledge  is  but  sorrow's  spy, 
'Tis  better  not  to  know. 

The  Just  Italian,  Act  v.,  Sc.  i ; 

and  Prior  comes  still  closer  : 

From  ignorance  our  comfort  flows  : 
The  only  wretched  are  the  wise. 

To  the  Hon.  CJiarles  Montague. 

Here  are  two  modern  instances  : 

A  sadder  and  a  wiser  man 
He  rose  the  morrow  mom. 

CoLEKiDGE  :  The  Ancient  Mariner. 

Grief  should  be  the  instructor  of  the  wise ; 
Sorrow  is  knowledge  :  they  who  know  the  most 
Must  mourn  the  deepest  o'er  the  fatal  truth, 
The  Tree  of  Knowledge  is  not  that  of  Life. 

Byron  :  Man/red,  Act  i.,  Sc.  i. 

The  thought  may  be  traced  back  as  far  as  the  Bible  :  "  ife  that  increaseth 
knowledge  increaseth  sorrow."  (Eccles.  i.  i8.) 

But  compare  the  above  with  Socrates  :  "  He  said  that  there  was  only  one 
good,  namely,  knowledge,  and  only  one  evil,  namely,  ignorance."  (Diogenes 
Laertius  :  Lives  and  Opinions  of  Eminent  Philosophers.)  Bossuet  thought 
that  "  Well-meant  ignorance  is  a  grievous  calamity  in  high  places,"  and 
Goethe  echoed  Bossuet :  "  Nothing  is  more  terrible  than  active  ignorance." 

Ignorance  is  the  mother  of  devotion.  In  his  •'  Church  History  of 
Britain"  Fuller  says,  "I  shall  here  relate  what  happened  at  the  convocation 
at  Westminster  [1640].  A  disputation  is  appointed  by  the  council,  nine 
Popish  bishops  and  doctors  on  that  side,  eight  Protestant  doctors  on  the 
other  side.  Sir  Nicholas  Bacon,  Lord-Keeper,  moderator.  The  first  question 
was  about  service  in  an  unknown  tongue.  The  first  day  passed  with  the 
Protestants.  The  second  day  the  Popish  bishops  and  doctors  fell  to  cavilling 
against  the  order  agreed  on,  and  the  meeting  dissolved.  Dr.  Cole  stands  up 
and  declares,  '  I  tell  you  that  ignorance  is  the  mother  of  devotion.' "  This  is 
sometimes  referred  to  as  the  origin  of  the  familiar  expression.  But  it  is  far 
older.  Luther  .quotes  it  satirically  in  assailing  a  peculiar  order  of  Italian 
monks,  "The  Brothers  of  Ignorance."     Dryden  says, — 

Your  ignorance  is  the  mother  of  your  devotion  to  me. 

Tlie  Maiden  Queen,  Act  i.,  Sc.  2. 

Ignorances,  Our  small.  The  spelling-book  and  the  dictionary  are  the 
two  great  forces  that  conserve  our  language  in  its  purity  ;  they  are  also  the 
most  effectual  bars  to  progress.  Indeed,  that  marvellous  English  tongue, 
which  has  proved  so  resonant,  so  flexible,  so  ductile,  in  the  hands  of  our  great 
masters  of  prose  and  verse,  would  have  had  no  existence  if  Dr.  Johnson  and 
Noah  Webster  had  come  over  in  the  train  of  the  Conqueror.  When  there  is 
a  recognized  standard,  a  recognized  authority,  language  is  no  longer  the  fluent 
thing  it  was  at  first ;  it  becomes  crystallized,  it  resists  corruption  and  innova- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  515 

tion.  The  dictionary  is  king,  whose  sway  it  were  treason  to  dispute.  Yet  it 
is  with  the  dictionary  as  with  other  monarchs  : 

Treason  doth  never  prosper.     What's  the  reason  ? 
For  when  it  prospers,  none  dare  call  it  treason. 

The  most  conservative  lawyers,  Littleton,  Coke,  Blackstone,  are  constrained 
to  acknowledge  the  latent  right  of  rebellion  against  constituted  authority  when 
it  becomes  tyrannical  and  unbearable.  Success  succeeds,  prosperous  treason 
justifies  itself,  and  establishes  a  new  code  of  loyalty.  In  the  last  analysis  the 
monarch  is  only  the  expression  of  the  will  of  the  people.  That  will  is  always 
the  true  sovereign,  and  may  overthrow  the  exponent  it  once  set  upon  a  ped- 
estal. The  authority  of  King  Dictionary  rests  upon  common  usage,  sanc- 
tioned by  the  aristocracy  of  the  intellect.  Common  usage  makes  the  aristoc- 
racy subservient,  and  overrides  the  king's  veto.  But  this  result  is  attained 
only  after  a  long  and  bitter  fight. 

Take  the  word  reliable,  for  example  ;  the  dictionary  has  been  compelled  to 
acknowledge  it.  You  will  find  it  in  Worcester,  in  Webster,  in  the  great  Eng- 
lish lexicons  of  the  present.  You  will  look  for  it  in  vain  in  Johnson  or 
Walker.  It  is  a  useful  word,  it  supplies  a  want ;  to  our  accustomed  ears  it 
even  sounds  well.  It  was  a  barbarism  to  our  cultivated  ancestors.  When  it 
first  appeared  in  print  it  was  greeted  with  contempt  and  ridicule  by  pedant 
and  pedagogue.  They  adduced  excellent  arguments  for  their  scorn  ;  they 
showed  conclusively  that,  as  to  rely  is  a  neuter  verb,  it  cannot  precede  an  ac- 
cusative without  the  intervention  of  the  preposition  on  or  upon.  "  If  we  must 
have  a  new  word,"  they  urged,  with  nice  sarcasm,  "  if  trtistworthy  and  cred- 
ible, which  were  good  enough  for  our  fathers,  are  not  good  enough  for  us, 
then  let  the  new  word  be  relionable,  not  reliable  !  We  are  familiar  with  mcdi- 
ble,  able  to  be  heard  ;  ponderable,  able  to  be  weighed  ;  desirable,  worthy  to  be 
desired  ;  we  won't  even  reject  Carlyle's  doable,  able  to  be  done.  But  if  relia- 
ble is  to  mean  able  to  be  relied  on,  why  may  we  not  have  dependable,  goable, 
runable,  risable,  fallable,  and  such  jargon  ?"  Why,  indeed .'  The  answer  is 
ready  to  hand.     Because  the  sovereign  will  of  the  people  has  not  so  decreed. 

An  earlier  instance  of  the  same  sort,  equally  defiant  of  analogy  and  philo- 
logical loyalty,  and  indeed  whose  triumph  is  a  matter  of  some  regret,  is 
afforded  by  the  i)ersistent  pluralizing  of  words  that  are  properly  and  rightly 
singular  ;  as,  circumstances  for  circumstance.  The  word  circumstance  means 
the  surrounding  environment  of  a  central  fact  or  truth,  the  detail  of  a  story, 
and  so  it  was  used  up  to  a  late  time.  Thus,  Milton  wrote, — 
Tell  us  the  sum,  the  circumstance  defer. 

If  the  s  had  not  added  a  redundant  syllable,  it  is  not  at  all  unlikely  that  later 
editors  would  have  corrected  "circumstance"  into  "  circumstances,"  as  they 
actually  have  done  with  prose  authors.  For  example.  South  wrote  ("  Sermons," 
1693),  "  So  apt  is  the  mind,  even  of  wise  persons,  to  be  surprised  with  the  super- 
ficies or  circumstance  of  things;"  and  in  later  editions  {e.g.,  that  of  1793)  the 
word  is  made  circumstances.  Bacon  and  his  contemporaries  talked  of  physic 
and  metaphysic,  we  of  physics  and  metaphysics.  We  have  added  the  useless 
final  s  to  ethics,  politics,  morals,  mechanics,  acoustics,  and  a  multitude  of  words 
by  which  we  name  particular  arts  and  sciences.  Rhetoric  seems  to  be  the  only 
one  that  has  escaped,  why  or  wherefore  is  a  mystery.  We  shudder  at  such  a 
barbarism  as  "  I  am  in  hopes,"  yet  who  can  tell  when  it  may  become  classic.'' 
In  spite  of  the  fact  that  physiologists  speak  of  the  brain  as  an  individual 
organ,  our  popular  speech  will  have  it  brains,  as,  "a  man  of  brains,"  "he 
blew  his  brains  out,"  etc.  With  a  belated  sense  of  the  fact  that  political 
science  is  singular,  we  are  beginning  to  say,  "  politics  is."  Shall  we  ever  say, 
"  the  brains  is"  t 


St6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Nay,  this  persistent  pluralization  carries  us  often  to  the  verge  of  nonsense. 
Garri'ck  wrote,  "  Heart  of  oak  are  our  ships,"  meaning  by  heart  of  oak  the 
choice  timber  of  which  the  best  ships  are  built.  We  continually  misquote 
the  line  into  the  absurdity  of  "hearts  of  oak,"  etc.  Even  Tennyson  says,  in 
his  sonnet  on  Bonaparte, — 

He  thought  to  quell  the  stubborn  hearts  of  oak. 

But  here  there  is  probably  a  variant  meaning.  Hamlet  declares  of  the  man 
that  is  not  passion's  slave, — 

I  will  wear  him 
In  my  heart's  core,  even  in  my  heart  of  heart, — 

which  is  a  fine  phrase,  and  intelligible  withal.  Nowadays  we  insist  on  speak- 
ing of  heart  of  hearts,  as  though  each  man  carried  a  heart-system  in  his  breast 
revolving  around  a  common  centre.  But  the  cultivated  minority  have  been 
forced  to  accede  even  in  this  instance  to  the  majority.     Thus,  Keble  says, — 

I,  in  ray  heart  of  hearts,  would  hear 
What  to  her  own  she  deigns  to  tell. 

It  is  idle  to  protest.     The  rebellious  people  has  so  willed  it. 

The  word  Behring  Sea  is  a  remarkable  instance  of  how,  in  linguistic  matters, 
wrong  can  become  right  if  it  be  insisted  upon  long  enough.  Veit  Bering  is 
the  way  in  which  the  first  explorer  of  those  waters  spelled  his  name,  but 
English-speaking  people  for  some  time  spelled  it  indifferently  Bering,  Beer- 
ing,  or  Behring,  and  finally  settled  down  to  the  last-named  form.  That  fonn, 
accordingly,  was  accepted  almost  everywhere  until  very  recently.  Biographical 
dictionaries,  as  well  as  geographies,  gave  Behring  as  the  correct  denomination 
of  explorer  and  explored,  and  all  the  weight  of  the  United  States  government 
was  necessary  to  suppress  the  treasonable  misspelling. 

It  is  wonderful,  however,  what  confusion  prevails  in  our  geographical  no- 
menclature. There  is  no  uniform  rule  for  the  spelling  and  pronunciation  of 
non-English  names.  Accident,  the  whims  of  our  geographers,  and  the  per- 
sistent ignorance  of  the  public  at  large  are  the  determining  factors.  And  a 
pretty  mess  they  have  made  of  it. 

Sometimes  we  turn  out  an  entirely  new  name,  as  Leghorn  for  Livorno, 
Venice  for  Venezia,  Florence  for  Firenze,  etc.  Sometimes  we  keep  the  foreign 
spelling,  but  ignore  the  foreign  pronunciation,  as  in  Paris,  Orleans,  etc.  Some- 
times we  reject  the  foreign  spelling,  and  attempt  to  give  a  phonetic  equivalent 
for  the  pronunciation,  as  in  those  extraordinary  bits  of  alphabetic  acrobatisni 
which  have  followed  the  recent  discoveries  in  Africa.  But  our  very  worst 
confusions  result  from  the  fact  that  in  former  times  French  was  the  only 
foreign  language  which  an  educated  Englishman  was  familiar  with,  and  con- 
sequently he  derived  his  knowledge  of  continental  Europe  through  the 
French.  It  was  only  natural,  therefore,  that  French  names  of  places  should 
creep  into  the  English  language. 

Now,  the  French  names  themselves  are  the  outcome  of  a  noble  Gallic 
struggle  to  master  the  foreign  pronunciation,  and  then  to  put  the  pronuncia- 
tion so  mastered  into  phonetic  form.  Thus,  Hague  and  Prague  are  the  nearest 
French  equivalents  for  the  German  sounds,  which  in  German  spelling  are 
represented  by  Haag  and  Prag.  But  when  Hague  and  Prague  are  incorporated 
into  the  English  language  they  are  pronounced  as  if  they  rhymed  with  plague, 
and  then  neither  to  the  ear  nor  to  the  eye  do  they  represent  the  German  Haag 
and  Prag. 

It  has  often  happened  that  English  and  American  travellers  have  passed 
through  Prag  without  knowing  where  they  were.  A  Frenchman  would 
recognize  it  by  the  pronunciation. 

"  I  remember  once  meeting  a  compatriot,"  says  a  writer  in  the  Illustrated 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  517 

Americait,  "  in  the  capital'of  Bavaria.     We  call  it  Munich  ;  the  natives,  you 
will  remember,  call  it  Miinchen. 

'"What  a  wonderful  town  this  is,' said  Brother  Jonathan ;  'and  to  think 
that  I  never  heard  of  Miinchen  in  my  life  !  Why,  it's  not  mentioned  in  any 
geography  that  ever  I  studied  !'  " 

Mr.  Grant  Allen  has  poured  out  the  vials  of  his  wrath  with  well-deserved 
and  well-directed  energy  against  the  foolish  grammatical  nicety  of  pedants 
who  are  always  correcting  good,  sound,  idiomatic  English  into  conformity 
with  their  own  half-educated  ideas  of  extreme  accuracy;  who  would  insist, 
like  Mr.  E.  A.  Freeman,  upon  restoring  such  words  as  triumph,  ovation,  deci- 
mate, to  the  strict  etymological  meaning  that  they  bore  in  Roman  military  life, 
forgetting  the  natural  and  beautiful  growth  of  metaphor,  the  extension  of 
meaning,  the  exaggeration  and  metonymy  that  are  familiar  factors  in  the 
genesis  of  vocabulary  ;  who  would  reject  what  Macaulay  calls  the  low  vul- 
garism of  mutual  friend,  really  a  harmless  colloquialism  which  the  genius  of 
Uickens  has  stamped  forever  upon  the  language,  because  they  remember  that 
the  root  of  mutual  in  Latin  implies  reciprocal  action  ;  who  dispute  against 
their  opponent  instead  oizvith  him,  in  ignorance  of  the  fact  that  the  word  with 
means  against  in  the  early  forms  of  the  English  language,  and  still  retains 
that  meaning  in  withstand,  withhold,  withdraw,  and  dozens  of  other  instances  ; 
who  will  not  say  "  these  sort  of  people  are,"  but  "  this  sort  of  people  is"  (an 
impossible  locution  in  speaking),  not  perceiving  that  popular  instinct  has 
rightly  caught  at  the  implied  necessity  for  a  plural  subject  to  the  really  and 
essentially  plural  verb.  As  a  rediutio  a  J  absurd  urn  of  their  own  argument,  he 
cites  the  case  of  metropolis.  Now,  the  superfine  people  object  to  calling 
London  a  metropolis,  or  even  to  the  use  of  the  ordinary  phrases  "  Metropol- 
itan Police,"  "  Metropolitan  Board  of  Works,"  and  so  forth.  According  to 
these  purists,  Canterbury  is  really  the  metropolis  of  Southern  England.  And 
why  ?  Because  in  later  ecclesiastical  Latin  the  Greek  word  metropolis  meant 
the  mother-city  from  whose  bishopric  other  bishoprics  derived  their  origin. 
"But,"  says  Mr.  Allen,  "if  we  are  going  to  be  so  very  classical  and  Hellenic 
as  this,  we  might  respond  that  by  a  still  older  Greek  usage  metropolis  means 
the  mother-state  of  a  colony,  and  so  that  neither  Canterbury  nor  London,  but 
Sleswick-Holstein,  is  the  original  and  only  genuine  metropolis  of  England.  Is 
not  this  the  very  midsummer  madness  of  purist  affectation  1  The  English 
language  is  the  English  language,  and  in  that  language  metropolis,  by  long 
prescription,  means  the  chief  city  or  capital  of  a  country." 

In  fact,  the  role  of  Mrs.  Partington  is  neither  useful  nor  honorable.  It  is 
vain  to  attempt  to  beat  back  the  Atlantic  Ocean  or  to  arrest  the  onward 
march. of  nations.  The  meaning  which  people  choose  to  put  upon  words 
they  have  got  to  bear,  and  there's  an  end  on't.  And  as  with  meanings,  so 
with  pronunciation.  Poor  old  Samuel  Rogers  complained  that  con'template 
was  bad  enough,  but  bal'cony  made  him  sick.  That  was  only  thirty-five 
years  ago.  To-day  an  outraged  public  sentiment  would  forbid  him  to  contem'- 
plate  the  beauties  of  nature  from  his  balco'ny. 

Nevertheless,  there  are  misuses  of  words  which  result  from  pure  blunders, 
and  while  these  are  in  the  bud  it  is  just  as  well  to  nip  them,  lest  they  blossom 
out  into  flowers  of  rhetoric. 

Let  us  make  a  note  of  some  of  the  most  flagrant  examples  while  they 
are  still  treasonable  and  have  not  prospered  so  far  as  to  be  stamped  with  the 
approval  of  the  sovereign  people. 

It  is  not  too  late  to  prevent  people  from  "expecting"  what  they  really  only 

suspect,  or  from  "  predicating"  when   they  are  predicting.     Nor  is  it  too  late 

to  warn  them  that  they  cannot  make  up  for  withdrawing  a  necessary  tt  from 

bouquet  by  introducing  an  unnecessary  and  indeed  harmful  h  into  sobriquet ; 

44 


5l8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

and  that  a  villain  only  becomes  a  renegade  and  an  apostate  by  being  converted 
into  a  villian.  Yet  these  are  errors  of  spelling,  which  would  seem  also  to 
predicate  (not  predict)  errors  of  pronunciation  that  are  becoming  strangely 
prevalent  among  people  who  appear  otherwise  well  bred  and  well  educated. 
It  seems  almost  hopeless  to  warn  the  unwary  against  speaking  of  De  Toc- 
queville  and  De  Lamennais.  That  error,  apparently,  has  come  to  stay. 
French  people  speak  of  M.  de  Tocqueville  or  I'Abbe  de  Lamennais,  but 
when  they  drop  the  complimentary  prefix  it  is  always  Tocqueville  or  La- 
mennais. Is  it  too  nice  a  distinction  for  the  general  public  to  recognize  that 
things  are  hung  and  criminals  are  hanged  ?  Macaulay  informs  us  that  though 
few  people  remember  the  rules  which  govern  the  use  of  will  and  shall,  no 
educated  Englishman  misuses  those  words.  Yet  does  it  not  seem  that  the 
educated  men  of  our  generation,  in  England  and  America  alike,  are  unmind- 
ful of  this  distinction,  and  that  a  similar  negligence  is  creeping  into  literature  ? 
Is  this  the  beginning  of  the  end  ?  Must  the  rules  which  govern  shall  audwtll 
fall  into  the  same  disuse  as  other  rules  that  have  sought  to  impose  upon  the 
public  a  distinction  too  subtle  to  be  apprehended  readily  and  instinctively  ? 

When  will  people  stop  speaking  of  the  Russian  Czar,  or  Tsar,  as  the  mod- 
ern fad  dictates  ?  The  title  is  not  used  now  in  Russia,  for  it  means  simply 
king.  The  Russian  autocrat  claims  the  higher  title  of  Emperor.  He  is  so 
styled  by  the  educated  among  his  subjects,  while  the  peasantry  call  him  Gos- 
sudar,  or  lord.  Peter  the  Great  made  a  determined  diplomatic  fight  in  order 
to  obtain  his  recognition  as  Emperor,  and  this  was  at  last  conceded  to  him  by 
the  English,  partly  because  for  commercial  purposes  they  wanted  his  alliance, 
and  partly  because  some  members  of  the  Russian  embassy  in  London  had 
been  imprisoned  or  otherwise  maltreated,  so  that  it  was  by  way  of  compensa- 
tion to  make  the  concession  Peter  so  much  desired.  If,  however,  we  are 
unwilling  to  concede  the  higher  dignity,  why  not  call  him  simply  king  ?  We 
don't  speak  of  the  French  /^oi,  of  the  Italian  J?e.  Why,  then,  the  Russian 
Czar  or  Tsar  ? 

The  "  Emperor  of  Germany,"  also,  is  diplomatically  wrong,  although  no 
doubt  William  II.  would  be  glad  to  take  that  title.  "German  Emperor"  is 
the  correct  locution.  Frederick  Barbarossa  and  his  line  were  indeed  Em- 
perors of  Germany.  But  in  1871  the  other  German  states  were  much  too 
jealous  of  the  Prussians  to  restore  the  old  empire  for  the  benefit  of  the  Prus- 
sian king.  Instead,  they  raised  up  a  new  empire,  and  gave  its  head  a  new 
title,  as  a  standing  memorial  of  the  various  forces  that  brought  it  into  being. 
The  Emperor  himself  must  furnish  us  with  an  instance  of  another  frequent 
error.  In  a  speech  made  in  1S90  he  described  Frederick  the  Great  as 
his  "ancestor,"  thereby  committing  the  same  mistake  as  did  Queen  Victoria 
when  she  talked  to  Macaulay  of  "my  ancestor,  James  II.,"  and  the  historian 
reminded  her  majesty  that  James  II.  was  merely  her  "predecessor."  The 
Emperor  on  another  occasion  has  referred  to  Frederick  as  "my  relative,"  a 
sufficiently  absurd  manner  of  describing  a  man  who  has  been  in  his  grave  for 
more  than  a  century. 

Why  will  people  persist  in  saying  Henri  Taine  ?  The  name  of  the  brilliant 
Frenchman  is  Hippolyte,  not  Henry.  Perhaps  the  great  stupid  public  has 
somehow  mixed  him  up  with  Heinrich  Heine. 

A  still  more  persistent  error  is  that  which  turns  Francis  Bacon,  Baron 
Verulam  and  Viscount  St.  Albans,  into  Lord  Bacon.  Properly  speaking,  he 
might  be  called  Lord  Verulam,  or  Lord  St.  Albans,  but  he  is  no  more  Lord 
Bacon  than  Lord  Beaconsfield  was  Lord  Disraeli.  It  is  true  that  a  reason 
for  thus  miscalling  him  has  been  found  in  the  disgrace  which  deprived  him  of 
the  Great  Seal  and  banished  him  from  the  House  of  Peers.  Having  nothing 
but  the  barren  titles,  being  nobody  save  Francis  Bacon,  ex-Lord-Chancellor, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  519 

and  a  nominal  viscount  without  any  of  the  privileges  of  rank,  Lord  Bacon 
became  a  sort  of  courtesy  title.  It  was  natural  to  call  him  by  the  name  he 
had  made  great,  and  to  style  him  "Lord"  as  an  ex-Chancellor,  rather  than  to 
speak  of  him  by  the  titles  he  had  disgraced,  and  which  were  virtually  set  aside. 
So  he  was  first  Lord-Chancellor  Bacon,  then  Lord  Bacon. 

For  a  great  number  of  years  English  people,  even  historians  of  repute,  in- 
sisted on  talking  of  Admiral  Van  Tromp,  meaning  the  great  Dutch  admiral 
who  almost  brought  his  fleet  into  London.  Van  Tromp  is  no  more  known  in 
the  Netherlands  than  Von  Gladstone  in  England,  or  Von  Blaine  in  America. 
His  name  was  Tromp,  and  is  so  engraved  on  his  tombstone.  The  "  Encyclo- 
paedia Britannica"  in  its  ninth  edition  set  the  right  fashion  almost  for  the  first 
time,  correcting  its  own  error  in  the  eighth,  and  it  is  to  be  hoped  that  Van 
Tromp  has  now  disappeared  forever. 

A  curious  but  common  error  is  exemplified  in  the  following  toast,  volun- 
teered in  honor  of  Aaron  Burr  at  the  Boston  banquet  of  Federal  chieftains, 
April  24,  1804:  "Aaron's  rod:  may  it  blossom  in  New  York,  and  may  Fed- 
eralists be  still  and  applaud  while  the  great  serpent  swallows  the  less  !"  The 
symposiarch  had  forgotten  that  the  rod  which  blossomed  in  the  Biblical  story 
was  not  the  same  with  the  rod  that  swallowed  serpents.  The  latter  was 
really  the  rod  of  Moses  wielded  by  Aaron  for  miraculous  purposes  as  the 
vicegerent  or  "  prophet"  of  his  brother.  The  former  was  one  of  the  twelve 
rods  selected  to  be  representative  of  the  twelve  tribes  of  Israel,  with  the 
understanding  that  the  high-priesthood  should  belong  to  him  whose  rod  was 
found  to  have  blossomed  overnight  after  they  had  all  been  placed  in  the 
"Tabernacle  of  the  Congregation."  To  make  the  test  perfectly  fair,  Moses 
was  commanded  to  write  Aaron's  name  on  "the  rod  of  Levi." 

A  little  attention  to  lines  of  latitude  would  probably  diminish  the  almost 
irresistible  tendency  of  some  tourists  to  write  of  the  Azores,  for  instance,  as 
"these  southern  islands"  and  "this  southern  clime."  The  Azores  are  not  so 
very  much  nearer  to  the  equator  than  is  the  city  of  New  York.  Such  re- 
markable statements  as  that  of  a  recent  purveyor  of  fine  writing,  that  the 
mountain-peaks  which  inspired  his  eloquence  "  almost  touched  the  zenith," 
cannot  be  classed  among  the  blunders  here  recorded,  but  deserve  to  rank 
among  specimens  of  "  English  as  she  is  wrote."  But  it  is  certain  that  a  little 
brushing  up  of  elementary  information  would  save  many  writers  from  appear- 
ing to  improve  upon  nature,  though  their  pages  would  thereby  be  deprived  of 
an  element  of  unconscious  humor  which  now  and  then  provokes  a  smile. 

Has  the  term  "  a  pair  of  balances"  come  to  stay  ?  One  would  fain  hope 
not.  It  is  a  pure  absurdity.  The  very  word  balance  means  a  pair  of  scales 
(from  bis,  "  two,"  and  lanx,  "  a  pan  or  scale").  Yet  the  solecism  is  found  in 
Tyndale's  rendering  of  Revelation  vi.  5,  and  in  all  subsequent  versions,  with 
the  exception  of  the  Douay,  until  the  revision  of  188 1  restored  the  word 
"balance,"  which  had  been  used  in  Wiclifs  translation.  The  expression  "a 
pair  of  balances"  must  have  come  in  vogue  between  the  time  of  Wiclif  and 
that  of  Tyndale. 

A  very  common  mistake  is  made  in  the  use  of  the  word  "edition."  Thus, 
popular  novelists  frequently  describe  their  heroine  as  reading  a  complete 
edition  of  "Longfellow's  Poems."  But  no  single  heroine,  nay,  not  half  a 
dozen  Samsons,  could  hold  a  complete  edition  of  anybody's  poems.  The 
word  needed  is  "  copy."  An  edition  of  a  book  means  all  the  copies  printed 
from  a  set  of  type  at  the  same  time. 

Another  term  the  novelists  delight  in  is  the  bar  sinister.  There  is  no 
such  term  in  heraldry.  Indeed,  the  very  name  involves  an  absurd  contra- 
diction in  terms.  Bend  sinister  is  more  plausible.  Yet  there  are  heralds  who 
insist  that  no  sign  for  illegitimacy  was  ever  known  to  their  science. 


520  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Iliad  in  a  nutshell  (L.  "  Ilias  in  nuce"),  a  proverbial  phrase  for  any- 
thing infinitesimally  small.  According  to  the  elder  Pliny,  there  existed  in  his 
day  a  copy  of  Homer's  "  Iliad"  which  some  indefatigable  tritler  had  copied  in 
such  minute  characters  that  the  whole  manuscript  could  be  enclosed  in  a  nut- 
shell. But  history  fails  to  say  whether  it  was  a  filbert-  or  a  walnut-shell,  which, 
of  course,  would  make  some  difference.  P.  D.  Huet,  the  learned  Bishop  of 
Avranches,  in  his  "  De  Rebus  ad  eum  pertinentibus"  (1718),  p.  297,  assures 
us  that  he  at  one  time  looked  upon  this  as  a  fiction,  but  that  further  examina- 
tion proved  it  to  be  at  least  a  possibility.  In  the  presence  of  several  gentle- 
men he  demonstrated  that  it  was  feasible  to  write  seven  thousand  five  hundred 
verses  on  a  piece  of  vellum  ten  inches  in  length  and  eight  in  width.  Thus 
the  two  sides  would  contain  fifteen  thousand  verses,  the  total  number  in  the 
"  Iliad."  If  the  vellum  were  pliant  and  firm,  it  could  then  easily  be  folded 
up  and  enclosed  in  the  shell  of  a  large  walnut.  Professor  Schrieber,  a 
German  inventor  of  a  stereographic  process,  ia  order  to  offset  this  wonder, 
transcribed  both  the  "Iliad"  and  the  "Odyssey"  into  so  small  a  compass  that 
both  books  complete  could  be  hidden  in  the  shell  of  an  English  walnut. 
Books  have  been  printed  the  size  of  a  postage-stamp,  and  only  recently 
a  volume  was  sold  measuring  eleven-sixteenths  of  an  inch  by  half  an  inch, 
containing  six  portraits  of  the  Czar  and  other  celebrities.  An  Oriental 
scribe  once  wrote  in  letters  of  gold  a  poem  of  eight  lines,  the  whole  of 
which  he  enclosed  within  a  grain  of  allspice  and  sent  as  a  present  to  the 
Shah  of  Persia.  But  the  untutored  monarch  showed  small  appreciation  of 
the  gift.  Indeed,  it  is  even  said  that  he  threw  the  penman  into  prison,  where 
he  languished  several  months  until  released  through  the  influence  of  the 
American  consul.  In  1883  a  Jewish  penman  at  Vienna,  Austria,  wrote  four 
hundred  letters  on  a  common-sized  grain  of  wheat.  He  sent  it  to  the  em- 
peror, who  had  failed  to  sign  a  bill  to  allow  the  Jew  to  become  a  clerk  in 
some  one  of  the  royal  departments,  giving  as  a  reason  that  it  was  absolutely 
necessary  to  have  an  uncommonly  good  penman  in  that  department.  After 
finishing  the  cereal  wonder  and  despatching  it  to  his  majesty,  the  Jew  picked 
up  a  common  visiting-card  and  wrote  on  the  edge  a  prayer  for  the  imperial 
family. 

In  the  year  iSSi  the  Chicago /«A'r-C)<ri?a«  made  mention  of  a  gentleman 
who  had  written  the  entire  first  chapter  of  the  Gospel  of  St.  John  on  the  back 
of  a  postal  card.  That  little  notice,  innocent  as  it  was,  caused  the  editor 
several  sleepless  nights. 

Within  the  next  three  days  postal  cards  and  slips  of  paper  with  minute 
specimens  of  penmanship  began  to  pour  in  from  all  directions.  Among  the 
hundreds  of  samples  submitted  for  inspection,  the  editor  acknowledged  that 
the  greatest  curiosity  was  a  postal  card  from  John  J.  Taylor,  of  Streator,  Illi- 
nois, upon  which  were  written  four  thousand  one  hundred  words  in  legible 
characters,  the  whole  embracing  the  first,  second,  and  third  chapters  of  St. 
John,  and  nineteen  verses  of  the  fourth  chapter  of  the  same,  and  also  the 
sixth  and  seventh  chapters  of  St.  Matthew,  besides  having  nine  words,  in 
which  mistakes  occurred,  crossed  out. 

All  of  this  wonderful  production,  which  would  make  three  columns  of  the 
Inter-Ocean  set  in  minion  type,  could  be  plainly  read  with  the  naked  eye. 
Since  that  j^eriod,  however,  Mr.  Taylor's  record  has  been  frequently  eclipsed. 
Harper's  Young  People  records  that  Joseph  English,  of  Boston,  Massachusetts, 
wrote  with  a  pen  an  entire  speech  containing  four  thousand  one  hundred  and 
sixty-two  words  on  a  postal  card.  On  another  postal  card  William  A.  Bowers, 
of  Boston,  wrote  eight  chapters  of  the  Bible  which  contained  two  hundred 
and  one  verses,  or  five  thousand  two  hundred  and  thirty-eight  words  ;  while 
W.  Frank  Hunter,  of  Topeka,  Kansas,  succeeded  in  writing  the  fifth,  sixth, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  521 

seventh,  eighth,  ninth,  and  part  of  the  tenth  chapters  of  St.  John,  or  six  thou- 
sand two  hundred  and  one  words  in  all,  on  a  space  of  equal  size. 

Last  and  greatest  came  Walter  S.  McPhail,  of  Holyoke,  Massachusetts, 
"  who  claims  to  have  transferred  to  the  back  of  a  postal  card  ten  thousand  two 
hundred  and  eighty-three  words.  These  comprise  the  ninth  to  the  twentieth 
chapters  of  St.  John,  inclusive,  and  are  written  with  a  pen  so  as  to  be  per- 
fectly legible — through  a  magnifying-glass." 

Addison,  in  the  "  Spectator,"  No.  59,  refers  to  that  famous  picture  of  King 
Charles  the  First  which  has  the  whole  book  of  Psalms  written  in  the  lines 
of  the  face  and  the  hair  of  the  head.  "  When  I  was  last  at  Oxford,"  he  says, 
•'  I  perused  one  of  the  whiskers ;  and  was  reading  the  other,  but  could  not  go 
so  far  in  it  as  I  would  have  done,  by  reason  of  the  impatience  of  my  friends 
and  fellow-travellers,  who  all  of  them  pressed  to  see  such  a  piece  of  curiosity. 
I  have  since  heard  that  there  is  now  an  eminent  writing-master  in  town  who  has 
transcribed  all  the  Old  Testament  in  a  full-bottomed  periwig  ;  and  if  the 
fashion  should  introduce  the  thick  kind  of  wigs  which  were  in  vogue  some  few 
years  ago,  he  promises  to  add  two  or  three  supernumerary  locks  that  shall  con- 
tain all  the  Apocrypha.  He  designed  this  wig  originally  for  King  William, 
having  disposed  of  the  two  books  of  Kings  in  the  two  forks  of  the  foretop ; 
but  that  glorious  monarch  dying  before  the  wig  was  finished,  there  is  a  space 
left  in  it  for  the  face  of  any  one  that  has  a  mind  to  purchase  it." 

This  is  not  a  mere  piece  of  humor  on  Addison's  part.  The  picture  of 
Charles  I.  is  still  carefully  preserved  in  the  library  of  St.  John's  College,  Ox- 
ford, though  now  so  faded  as  to  be  scarcely  legible.  Besides  the  Psalms  it  is 
said  to  contam  the  Creed  and  the  Lord's  Prayer.  Tradition  says  that  King 
Charles  II.  was  so  anxious  to  get  hold  of  it  that  when  all  his  offers  of  purchase 
were  refused,  he  told  the  college  they  might  ask  him  for  anything  as  a  reward 
if  they  would  but  give  him  the  picture.  The  Fellows  complied.  Then  for  a 
reward  they  asked  to  have  the  picture  given  back  to  them. 

But  a  newspaper  story  credits  one  Gustave  Dahlberg,  a  student  in  the 
Swedish  University,  with  a  wonder  far  exceeding  this.  He  lias  made  a  portrait 
of  King  Oscar,  the  whole  in  microscopic  letters,  forming  short  and  long  ex- 
tracts from  the  Bible.  The  right  eye  of  this  wonderful  portrait  is  made  up  of 
even  verses  from  the  Psalms  of  David  ;  the  left,  of  verses  from  the  Proverbs 
of  Solomon,  the  book  of  Chronicles,  and  the  Song  of  Solomon,  containing 
in  all  three  hundred  and  seventeen  words  and  seventeen  hundred  and  nine 
letters.  The  king's  uniform  is  composed  of  the  whole  of  the  first  fifty  Psalms. 
The  exact  number  of  words  and  letters  in  the  whole  portrait  is  not  stated,  but, 
judging  from  the  fact  that  it  took  seventeen  hundred  and  nine  letters  to  make 
one  eye,  the  whole  number  of  letters  in  this  triumph  of  the  penman's  art  cannot 
fall  much  short  of  fifty  thousand.  In  making  the  name  of  the  king  alone 
Dahlberg  used  all  of  the  one-hundred-and-twenty-sixth  and  one-hundred-and 
twenty-seventh  Psalms.  The  portrait,  which  is  said  to  look  life-like  and  natural, 
is  on  tinted  paper  of  the  kind  known  as  "  Haynes's  Standard,"  and  is  so  small 
that  a  United  States  half-dollar  laid  upon  it  comparatively  hides  it  from  view. 
But  all  these  feats  with  the  pen  have  been  overshadowed  by  the  achieve- 
ments of  William  Webb,  of  London,  England. 

In  1886,  Mr.  Webb  invented  a  machine  composed  of  exquisitely  graduated 
wheels  and  running  a  tiny  diamond  point  at  the  end  of  an  almost  equally  tiny 
arm,  whereby  he  was  able  to  write  upon  glass  the  whole  of  the  Lord's  Prayer 
within  a  space  measuring  the  two-hundred-and-ninety-fourth  of  an  inch  in 
length  by  the  four-hundred-and-fortieth  of  an  inch  in  breadth,  or  about  the 
size  of  a  dot  over  the  letter  i  in  common  print. 

With  that  machine  Mr.  Webb,  or  any  one  else  who  understood  operating 
it,  could  write  the  whole   three  million  five  hundred  and  sixty-six  thousand 
44* 


$22  IIANDY-BOOK  OF 

four  hundred  and  eighty  letters  of  the  Old  and  New  Testaments  eight  times 
over  in  the  space  of  one  inch  square.  When  this  wonderful  microscopic 
writing  was  enlarged  by  photography,  every  letter  and  point  was  perfect,  and 
it  could  be  read  with  ease. 

The  British  Museum,  among  its  many  curiosities,  has  probably  the  most 
unique  collection  of  miniature  books  in  the  world. 

Here  is  a  rather  dilapidated  book  of  songs,  bound  in  brown  leather,  little 
more  than  an  inch  square,  called  "The  Maid's  Delight,"  dated  London,  1670. 
Next  is  a  little  brown  Bible,  known,  from  its  diminutive  size,  as  the  Thumb 
Bible,  dated  London,  1693.  Its  gilt  edges  are  excellently  preserved.  Here 
is  a  very  small  summary  of  the  Bible,  in  perfect  condition,  made  curious  from 
the  fact  that  it  has  the  tiniest  of  illustrations.  By  its  side  rests  a  complete 
copy  of  Dante,  with  an  engraving  of  the  author.  It  is  only  one  and  a  half 
inches  wide,  yet  it  contains  four  hundred  and  ninety-nine  pages,  on  which  are 
printed  one  hundred  cantos. 

Short-hand  writers,  too,  have  a  miniature  volume  containing  the  New  Tes- 
tament and  Psalms,  bound  in  a  green  cover, — once  velvet  or  plush, — with 
silver  clasps  and  bands.  It  is  a  wonderful  little  book,  written  in  short-hand, 
by  Jeremiah  Rich,  as  far  back  as  two  hundred  and  thirty-one  years  ago.  On 
the  fly-leaf  are  these  words :  "  The  pen's  dexterity  by  these  incomparable 
contractions,  by  which  a  sentence  is  as  soon  written  as  a  word,  allowed  by 
authority  and  passed  the  two  Universities  with  great  approbation  and  ap- 
plause, invented  and  taught  by  Jeremiah  Rich,  1659.  John  Lilburne  offered 
to  give  the  author  a  certificate',  under  his  own  hand,  that  he  took  down  his 
trial  at  the  Old  Bailey  with  the  greatest  exactness.  The  Book  of  Psalms  in 
Rich's  characters  is  in  print.  His  short-hand  was  taught  in  Dr.  Doddinge's 
Academy,  at  Northami)ton.' 

The  Chinese  and  Japanese  excel  in  the  art  of  manufacturing  miniatures. 
Their  fingers  must  indeed  be  deft  if  they  could  carve  correct  and  striking 
portraits  of  William  III.  and  George  I.  on  the  half  of  a  walnut-shell, — a  feat 
which  has  been  accomplished.  Some  time  ago  a  British  needle-manufacturer 
sent  out  to  China  a  number  of  exceedingly  fine  needles,  saying  that  he  thought 
nobody  in  the  Celestial  Empire  could  be  found  to  drill  a  hole  as  small  as  that 
necessary  for  the  eye.  He  received  them  back  with  holes  drilled  through  the 
very  points, — truly  a  wonderful  piece  of  workmanship. 

But  even  this  pales  before  the  work  now  being  done  by  a  naturalist. 

His  hobby  consists  in  collecting  the  fine  dust  with  which  the  wings  of  moths 
and  butterflies  are  covered,  and  forming  them  into  the  most  artistic  and  pic- 
turesque designs.  He  mounts  each  single  grain  of  dust  separately,  so  as  to 
make  bouquets  of  flowers,  fern-leaves,  and  butterflies  hovering  round.  This 
he  does  in  a  space  occupied  by  the  eighth  of  an  inch.  In  another  design  he 
has  a  vase  of  passion-flowers  made  of  upward  of  five  hundred  grains  of  dust ; 
and  again  he  has  represented  a  pot  of  fuchsias,  with  butterflies  and  birds,  in 
three-sixteenths  of  a  square  inch.  This  marvellous  mounting  in  miniature 
will  be  more  readily  understood  when  it  is  mentioned  that  there  are  so  many 
single  grains  of  dust  on  a  butterfly's  wing  that  no  man  has  ever  succeeded  in 
counting  them. 

This  same  naturalist  mounted  a  couple  of  hundred  of  the  tiniest  eggs  of  the 
smallest  insects,  so  as  to  make  a  perfect  geometrical  design,  yet  the  whole  did 
not  cover  a  space  a  quarter  of  an  inch  in  diameter  ;  while  another  ardent 
naturalist  selected  and  arranged  three  thousand  six  hundred  young  oysters 
within  a  circle  a  little  less  than  three-eighths  of  an  inch  in  diameter. 

Tiny  shells  arrive  in  this  country  from  Barbadoes,  a  hundred  of  which 
could  be  placed  on  a  space  covering  the  eighth  of  a  square  inch.  An  in- 
genious individual  has  made  a  perfect  shot-gun  capable  of  firing  a  consider- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  523 

able  distance,  yet  only  measuring  two  inches  in  length,  and  now  detectives  have 
managed  to  find  a  photographic  camera  so  small  as  to  be  contained  within  the 
limits  of  a  breast-pin.  An  enterprising  photographer  succeeded  in  taking  the 
portraits  of  one  hundred  and  five  eminent  personages  on  a  piece  of  glass  no 
bigger  than  a  pin's  head. 

Miniature  portraits  and  pictures  necessarily  call  for  some  comment.  They 
are  painted  on  ivory.  First  of  all,  you  make  your  sketch  in  pencil,  then  it  is 
transferred  to  the  ivory.  The  tiniest  take  a  number  of  days  to  work  up.  In 
the  old  days  the  subjects  would  give  eight  to  a  dozen  sittings  of  from  one  to 
two  hours,  but  now  photography  -is  often  called  in  in  order  to  obviate  the 
number  of  sittings.  Van  Blarenberghe  was  so  clever  at  painting  miniature 
pictures  in  water-colors  that  he  could  represent  a  battle-scene,  with  battalions 
marchisig,  horses  galloping  to  and  fro,  colors  flying,  and  fair  follow-the-drums, 
— hundreds  of  figures,  every  uniform  correct  and  every  face  a  study, — all  on 
the  lid  of  a  snuff-box.  Watteau  excelled  as  a  painter  of  the  sweetest  of  little 
Cupids  upon  lockets. 

Ilk.  Of  that  ilk,  an  expression  of  frequent  occurrence  in  newspapers  in 
the  sense  "of  the  same  sort  or  stamp."  The  phrase  is  Scotch,  and  is,  in 
Scotland,  exclusively  applied  to  a  gentleman  whose  family  name  is  the  same 
as  that  of  his  estate.  Menzies  of  Alenzies  is  an  example  ;  as  is  Anstritther  of 
Anstrutker.  The  number  of  families  to  whom  the  title  is  applicable  is  ex- 
tremely limited,  and  it  is  regarded  as  more  honorable  than  those  of  the  new- 
made  nobles.  Several  of  the  oldest  and  highest  of  the  Scotch  nobility  were 
earlier  of  that  ilk,  as  the  Dukes  of  Hamilton,  Gordon,  etc.  The  Chisholm, 
The  O'Connor  Don,  is  an  analogous  and  not  less  distinguished  title,  indicating 
that  its  bearer  is  chief  of  the  name. 

Ill-gotten  goods  never  prosper,  a  proverb  common  to  all  modern  lan- 
guages, and  in  classic  literature  found  in  the  "  Ill-gotten  goods  are  productive 
of  evil"  of  Sophocles  and  the  "  111  gotten  is  ill  spent"  of  Plautus.  A  common 
proverb  tells  us,  "  Happy  is  the  rich  man's  son  whose  father  went  to  hell," 
meaning  that  as  the  father  has  suffered  the  retribution  which  follows  avarice 
and  dishonesty,  the  son  may  be  able  to  put  the  money  he  has  hoarded  to  suc- 
cessful use. 

Didst  thou  never  hear 
That  things  ill  got  had  ever  bad  success  ? 
And  happy  always  was  it  for  that  son 
Whose  father  for  his  hoarding  went  to  hell? 

Henry  VI.,  Part  III.,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  2. 

nis  we  have.  And  makes  us  rather  bear  those.  Hamlet's  famous 
soliloquy  beginning  "To  be  or  not  to  be"  contains  the  following  among  many 
pregnant  passages  : 

Who  would  fardels  bear. 
To  grunt  and  sweat  under  a  weary  life. 
But  that  the  dread  of  something  after  death, 
The  undiscover'd  country  from  whose  bourn 
No  traveller  returns,  puzzles  the  will 
And  makes  us  ralker  bear  those  ills. we  have 
Than  Jly  to  others  that  we  know  not  of? 
Thus  conscience  does  make  cowards  of  us  all ; 
And  thus  the  native  hue  of  resolution 
Is  sicklied  o'er  with  the  pale  cast  of  thought, 
And  enterprises  of  great  piih  and  moment 
With  this  regard  their  currents  turn  awry 
And  lose  the  name  of  action. 

Act  iii.,  Sc.  I. 

Livy  has  a  thought  similar  to  the  lines  we  have  italicized  in  the  story 
he  tells  of  Pacuvius  Calavius.     He  was  a  man  of  great  influence  in  Capua. 


524  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

His  fellow-citizens  rose  in  mutiny  against  their  magistrates.  Haranguing 
them  in  the  market-place,  he  counselled  them  that  they  should  mention  the 
name  of  every  senator  they  wished  deposed  and  suggest  in  his  stead  a 
worthy  and  acceptable  person.  Then  he  began  the  roll-call.  The  first  name 
mentioned  was  received  with  a  cry  of  execration.  C)ut  it  went.  ■  But  when  it 
came  to  the  question  of  a  successor  a  great  turmoil  arose.  One  name  after 
another  was  hooted  down.  "  In  the  end,  growing  weary  of  this  bustle,  they 
began,  some  one  way  and  some  another,  to  steal  out  of  the  assembly  ;  every 
one  carrying  back  this  resolution  in  his  mind,  that  the  oldest  and  best-known 
evil  was  ever  more  supportable  than  one  that  was  new  and  untried." 
To  the  same  effect  was  a  saying  of  Socrates,  thus  recorded  by  Plutarch  : 
Socrates  thought  that  if  all  our  misfortunes  were  laid  in  one  common  heap,  whence  every 
one  must  take  an  ecjual  portion,  most  persons  would  be  contented  to  take  their  own  and 
depart. — Consolation  to  ApoUotiius. 

Addison  enlarges  upon  this  thought  in  No.  558  of  the  "  Spectator,"  in  an 
apologue  where  the  human  race  are  invited  by  Jupiter  to  a  large  plain,  there  to 
cast  off  their  miseries  and  exchange  them  for  what  they  consider  the  lighter 
burdens  of  their  neighbors.  But  when  the  change  is  made  the  man  is  far 
unhappier  than  ever,  the  new  evils  seem  far  greater  to  unaccustomed  shoulders 
than  the  old,  and  there  is  general  joy  when  Jupiter,  having  taught  a  salutary 
lesson,  allows  every  one  to  resume  his  former  condition.  From  this  tale 
Addison  draws  the  moral  never  to  repine  at  one's  own  misfortunes,  nor  to 
envy  the  happiness  of  another,  since  it  is  impossible  for  any  man  to  form  a 
right  judgment  of  his  neighbor's  sufferings. 

As  the  motto  of  his  paper  Addison  makes  a  long  quotation  from  the  open- 
ing lines  of  Horace's  first  satire,  "which  implies,"  says  Addison,  "that  the 
hardships  or  misfortunes  we  lie  under  are  more  easy  to  us  than  those  of  any 
other  person  would  be  in  case  we  could  change  conditions  with  him." 

Illuminated  Doctor,  a  title  bestowed  upon  Raymond  Lulle  or  Lully,  a 
distinguished  scholastic  (1235-1315),  and  author  of  the  system  called  "  Ars 
Lulliana,"  which  was  taught  throughout  Europe  during  several  centuries,  and 
whose  purpose  was  to  prove  that  the  mysteries  of  faith  are  not  contrary  to 
reason. 

The  same  appellation  is  sometimes  given  to  John  Tauler,  a  celebrated 
German  mystic  (1294-1361),  who  professed  to  have  seen  visions  and  heard 
spiritual  voices. 

Impending  Crisis.  "The  Impending  Crisis  of  the  South"  was  the  title 
of  a  book  by  H.  R.  Helper,  of  North  Carolina,  published  in  1858.  As  events 
proved,  the  political  forecasts  of  the  volume  were  prophetic.  It  had  a  pow- 
erful influence  in  precipitating  the  conflict,  and  its  title  became  a  watchword 
with  orators  on  both  sides. 

Imperium  et  Libertas.  Lord  Beaconsfield,  in  a  speech  at  Guildhall, 
November  9,  1879,  said,  "One  of  the  greatest  of  Romans,  when  asked  what 
was  his  politics,  replied,  '  Imperium  et  libertas.'  That  would  not  make  a  bad 
programme  for  a  British  minister."  Was  the  reference  to  Nerva,  of  whom 
Tacitus  i^Agricola,  ch.  iii.)  said,  "He  joined  two  things  hitherto  incompatible, 
pyincipdtirn  ac  liber tatetii"  ? 

Impossible  is  not  a  French  ■word,  a  famous  phrase  attributed  to  Napo- 
leon I.  by  Colin  d'Harlay.  Other  authorities  quote  it  in  the  form  "  Impossible 
is  a  word  I  never  use,"  or  "  Impossible,  a  word  found  only  in  the  dictionary 
of  fools."     But  before  Napoleon  something  of  the  same  sort  had  been  said  by 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  525 

Mirabeaii.  "  Monsieur  le  Comte,"  said  his  secretary,  "  the  thing  you  require 
is  impossible."  "  Impossible  !"  cried  Mirabeau,  starting  from  his  chair ; 
"never  mention  that  stupid  word  again!"  ("  Ne  me  dites  jamais  ce  bete  de 
mot !")  And,  before  Mirabeau,  Lord  Chatham,  in  a  fit  of  the  gout,  received 
one  of  the  admirals  in  his  sick-room,  only  to  be  told  that  to  get  the  required 
expedition  afloat  was  "  impossible."  "  It  must  sail,  sir,  this  day  week,"  was 
the  eagle-eyed  man's  fire-flashing  reply.  As  he  rose  from  his  chair,  the  beaded 
perspiration  burst  from  his  forehead  with  the  agony  caused  him  as  he  firmly 
planted  the  gouty  foot  upon  the  floor,  and,  suiting  the  action  to  the  word, 
added,  "  I  trample  on  impossibilities  !"  He  fell  back  fainting,  but  he  conveyecl 
his  lesson,  and  the  fleer  sailed.  Wellington  once  exclaimed,  "  Impossible  !  Is 
anything  impossible.'  Read  the  newspapers."  And  here  are  other  analogous 
expressions ; 

To  him  that  wills,  nothing  is  impossible. — Kossuth. 

Nothing  is  impossible;  there  are  ways  which  lead  to  everything,  and  if  we  had  sufficient 
will  we  should  always  have  sufficient  means. — La  Rochefoucauld.    Maxim  255. 

Few  things  are  impossible  to  diligence  and  skill. — Johnson  :  Rasseias,  ch.  xii. 

It  is  our  will 
That  thus  enchains  us  to  permitted  ill. 
We  might  be  otherwise  :  we  might  be  all 
We  dream  of,  happy,  high,  majestical. 
Where  is  the  beauty,  love,  and  truth  we  seek, 
But  in  our  minds  ?  and  if  we  were  not  weak 
Should  we  be  less  in  deed  than  in  desire? 

SH^i-i.n\  :  Juliat  and  Maddolo. 

A  most  extraordinary  illustration  of  Shelley's  words  might  be  found  in  the 
career  of  Benjamin  Disraeli.  Once  when  Premier  of  England  he  addressed 
the  boys  at  Rugby  in  these  words  :  "  Boys,  you  can  be  anything  you  determine 
to  be.  Thirty  years  ago,  when  I  was  a  boy,  I  determined  to  be  Premier  of 
England." 

But  to  return.  Napoleon's  accredited  phrase,  "  Impossible,  a  word  found 
only  in  the  dictionary  of  fools,"  is  tiie  obvious  origin  of  Bulwer-Lytton's 
famous  lines  in  "  Richelieu"  (Act  ii.,  Sc.  2)  : 

In  the  lexicon  of  youth  which  fate  reserves 
For  a  bright  manhood,  there  is  no  such  word 
As  fail. 

The  superior  judgment  of  the  multitude  has  once  more  been  evidenced  in 
the  persistent  misquotation,  "  In  the  bright  lexicon  of  youth  there  is  no  such 
word  as  fail,"  which  is  good  prose  substituted  for  bad  verse. 

After  all,  what  are  all  the  above  quotations  but  more  or  less  splendid  para- 
phrases of  the  old  saw,  "  Nothing  is  impossible  to  a  willing  heart"  .?  This  may 
be  found  in  Hey  wood. 

Impromptus.  Litera  scripta  viatiet,  but  bons  mots  are  creatures  of  an 
hour,  soon  sinking  into  oblivion,  to  be  born  again,  by  a  species  of  metempsy- 
chosis, under  a  different  form  and  another  parentage.  Readiness,  originality, 
are  the  rarest  gifts  of  the  gods.  "The  impromptu  is  precisely  the  touchstone 
of  all  wit,"  said  Moliere,  truly  enough.  "  There  is  nothing  so  unready  as  the 
readiness  of  wit,"  repeats  that  "  Yx&\\(^\xw!iW  par  excellence,'''  as  Voltaire  called 
him,  Comte  de  Rivarol.  The  man  whose  happy  thoughts  all  come  on  the 
stairs  is  a  proverbial  figure.  If  ready  wit  is  so  exceedingly  rare,  the  ability  to 
improvise  songs,  to  extemporize  in  verse,  is  as  rare,  if  not  still  rarer.  The  very 
small  number  of  genuine  instances  that  have  been  preserved  testify  to  this. 
A  very  few  pages  would  suffice  to  print  all  the  well-authenticated  examples  in 
the  language.     It  will  not  do  to  judge  most  of  them  by  any  very  high  literary 


526  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

standard  :  such  a  proceeding  would  be  as  foolish,  and  as  fatal,  as  to  analyze  a 
joke.  It  is  their  spontaneity  which  tells  :  thoroughly  to  appreciate  one  must 
approach  them  with  a  predisposition  to  be  surprised  or  amused,  and  in  a  mood 
not  too  critical ;  the  moment  and  the  occasion  that  gave  them  life  and  point 
must,  if  possible,  be  recalled,  and  the  scene  and  circumstance  in  which  they 
originated  re-enacted  in  the  imagination.  You  must  hear  the  hum  of  conver- 
sation at  Miss  Reynolds's  ("  Renny  dear's")  tea,  when,  suddenly,  Ur.  Johnson's 
sonorous  "To  be  sure,  sir,"  attracts  all  ears,  or  imagine  you  are  at  a  jovial 
reunion  of  sparks  in  the  early  years  of  the  century,  and,  midst  the  clinking 
of  glasses  and  roars  of  laughter.  Hook,  at  the  piano,  is  pouring  forth  his 
delicious  nonsense. 

If  many  are  here  included  of  no  very  high  merit,  the  answer  is,  that  this  is 
not  a  collection  of  elegant  extracts,  but  of  impromptus,  and  that  a  too  rigor- 
ous critique  would  have  attenuated  to  vacuity  an  already  sufficiently  limited 
class  of  literary  curiosities.  There  are,  indeed,  quite  a  number  of  very  clever 
alleged  impromptus  floating  among  the  drift-wood  of  literature,  but  they  are 
mostly  without  sufficient  voucher  of  genuineness.  The  remark  of  De  Quincey 
applies  with  peculiar  force  to  this^''^«r^,  that  "Universally  it  may  be  received 
as  a  rule,  that  when  an  anecdote  involves  a  stinging  repartee,  a  collision  of 
ideas  fancifully  and  brilliantly  relating  to  each  other  by  resemblance  or  con- 
trast, then  you  may  challenge  it  as  false." 

The  fathers  of  these  supposed  sun-bursts  of  smartness  are  usually  desig- 
nated by  some  indefinite  phrase,  as,  "a  celebrated  Irish  wit,"  or  "a  clerical 
gentleman  in  Blankshire,"  et  cateris  paribus.  The  first  of  these  great  un- 
knowns is  responsible  for  the  following.  During  a  discussion  at  a  dinner- 
party. Lord  E ,  who,  much  better  than  he  deserved,  was  blessed  with  a 

beautiful  and  accomplished  wife,  dropped  the  remark  that  "a  wife  was  only 
a  tin  canister  tied  to  one's  tail."  Here  was  the  "  Irish  wit's"  opportunity  ;  he 
seized  it,  and,  hastily  scribbling  something  on  a  scrap  of  paper,  presented 
it  to  the  mortified  wile  of  his  foolish  lordship.  The  truthful  eye-witness  that 
invented  this  story  forgets  to  say  that  the  wit  was  rewarded  by  the  lady's  most 
grateful  smile  when  she  read  this  : 

Lord  E ,  at  woman  presuming  to  rail. 

Calls  a  wife  a  "  tin  canister"  tied  to  one's  tail ; 

And  poor  Lady  Anne,  while  the  subject  he  carries  on. 

Seems  hurt  at  his  lordship's  degrading  comparison. 

But  wherefore  degrading  ?     Considered  aright, 
A  canister's /(j/wAt't/,  and  useful,  and  bright : 
And  should  any  dirt  its  white  purity  hide, 
That's  the  fault  of  the  J'up/iy  to  whom  it  is  tied  I 

To  the  category  of  invented  impromptus  probably  also  belongs  that  of  the 
two  scholastics  who  had  frequent  disputes  on  the  divinity  of  Christ.  Chancing 
to  meet  in  a  convivial  company,  one  of  them  wrote  the  following  lines,  and, 
with  assumed  severity,  handed  them  to  the  other  : 

Tu  Judse  similis  Dominumque  Deumque  negasti  ; 
Dissimilis  Judas  est  tibi — pcenituit. 
("  You,  Judas-like,  your  Lord  and  God  denied ; 
Judas,  unlike  to  you,  repentant  sighed.") 

Whereupon  the  "  heretic"  retorted, — 

Tu  simul  et  similis  Judse,  tu  dissimilisque  ; 
Juda;  iterum  similis  sis,  laqueumque  pefcas. 
("  You  are  like  Judas,  yet  unlike  that  elf; 

Once  more  like  Judas  be,  and  hang  yoiu^elf.") 

The  same  must  in  all  likelihood  be  said  of  this  next,  which  involves,  however, 
a  very  good  pun.     A  clergyman  of  Hartford,  having  opened  the  session  of 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  527 

the  Connecticut  House  of  Representatives  by  a  prayer,  was  requested  by  the 
Speaker  to  remain  seated  by  him  during  the  sitting.  At  the  time  the  State 
ot  Connecticut  had  no  general  law  of  divorce,  and  to  obtain  annulment  of 
the  bonds  of  matrimony  it  was  necessary  for  the  parties  to  make  application 
to  the  legislature.  The  clerical  gentleman,  having  witnessed  an  instance  of 
this  process  of  legislative  unmarrying,  wrote  and  handed  the  following  to  the 
Speaker : 

For  cutting  all  connections  famed 
Connect-i-cut  is  fairly  named  ; 
I  twain  connect  in  one,  but  you 
Cut  those  whom  1  connect  in  two : 
Each  legislator  seems  to  say, 
"  What  you  connect  1  cut  away." 

All  that  history  records  of  the  following  is  that  it  was  written  on  the  window 
of  an  inn  at  Huddersfield  : 

"  The  queen  is  with  us,"  Whigs  exulting  say, 
"  For  when  she  found  us  in,  she  let  us  stay." 
It  may  be  so  ;  but  give  me  leave  to  doubt 
How  long  she'll  keep  you  when  she  finds  you  out. 

And  the  following  is  said  to  have  been  dashed  off  in  a  court-room  by  a  flippant 

young  barrister  while  the  tedious  and  ruddy-faced  .Serjeant  C ,  bewigged 

and  clothed  in  purple  gown,  was  making  an  interminable  argument: 
The  Serjeant  pleads  with  face  on  fire. 

And  all  the  court  may  rue  it ; 
His  purple  garment  comes  from  Tyre, 
His  arguments  go  to  it. 

It  is  the  generally-accepted  theory  that  the  earlier  poets,  the  Homeridae, 
the  Bards,  Skalds,  Troubadours,  Jongleurs,  Minnesingers,  or  whatever  other 
names  they  go  by,  were  mostly  extemporizers  and  their  songs  improvisations. 
If  true,  then  in  one  respect  at  least  the  human  intellect  has  degenerated. 
The  gentlemen  that  write  with  ease,  and  write  well,  are,  according  to  the  best 
authorities,  a  literary  myth.  To  prove  the  popular  theory  incorrect  is  as  dififi- 
cult  as  it  is  proverbially  hard  to  prove  a  negative,  and  practically  the  whole 
question  reduces  itself  to  a  balancing  of  probabilities.  The  folk-loristic 
liallad  is  the  product  of  generation  upon  generation  of  accretion  and  polish. 
Of  the  true  genesis  of  the  most  ancient  poetry  extant  we  have  plenty  of 
theory  and  correspondingly  little  historic  fact.  Of  the  well-authenticated 
examples  of  extemporizing  the  most  notable  are  probably  the  Italian,  par- 
ticularly the  Florentine,  improvvisatori.  These  dainty  rhymers,  who  never 
would  permit  their  songs  to  be  written  down, — "  cosi  se  perderebbe  la  poca 
gloria," — making  the  Italian  summer  nights  melodious  with  the  tinkle  of  the 
guitar,  flourished  down  to  nearly  modern  times.  Their  themes,  however,  were 
extremely  limited.  Their  most  common  subjects  were  the  commendation  of 
their  several  mistresses,  or  the  contending  of  two  swains  for  the  same  maiden, 
or  a  debate  which  was  the  best  poet,  after  the  manner  of  eclogues  ;  indeed,  they 
put  one  in  mind  of  Virgil's  third,  fifth,  and  seventh  eclogues,  where  the  shep- 
herds contend  in  alternate  verse  ;  and  Virgil's  shepherds  seem  sometimes  to 
be  tied  down  by  the  thoughts  in  the  preceding  stanza,  just  as  these  Tuscan 
extempore  poets  were  by  the  rhyme  of  the  one  who  had  immediately  preceded. 
The  immediate  influence  of  these  canzonari  on  English  literature  is  beautifully 
portrayed  in  the  idyllic  picture  of  Sir  Walter  Raleigh  and  himself  as  painted 
by  Edmund  Spenser,  when  the  two  were  neighbors  and  visitors  on  their  Irish 
estates.     He  sings  of  their  song-contests,  when 

He  sitting  me  beside  in  that  same  shade 

Provoked  me  to  play  some  pleasant  fit : 
And  when  he  heard  the  music  which  I  made, 

He  found  himself  full  greatly  pleased  at  it. 


528  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Yet  aemuling,  my  pipe  he  took  in  hond, — 

My  pipe,  before  that  semuled  of  many, — 
And  play'd  thereon  (for  well  that  skill  he  cond), 

Himself  as  skilful  in  that  art  as  any. 

He  pip'd,  I  sung  :  and  when  he  sung  I  pip-'d ; 

By  change  of  turns  each  making  other  merry  : 
Neither  envying  other,  nor  envied  ; 

So  piped  we,  until  we  both  were  weary. 

Some  of  the  feats,  however,  of  the  improvvisatori  are  astonishing  enough. 
"When  I  was  at  Florence,  at  our  resident's  Mr.  C,"  writes  Spence,  "I  first 
thought  it  impossible  for  them  to  go  on  so  readily  as  they  did  without  having 
arranged  things  beforehand.  He  said  it  amazed  everybody  at  first ;  that  he 
had  no  doubt  it  was  all  fair,  and  desired  me,  to  be  satisfied  of  it,  to  give  them 
some  subject  myself,  as  much  out  of  the  way  as  I  could  think  of.  As  he  in- 
sisted, I  offered  a  subject  on  which  they  could  not  be  well  prepared.  It  was 
but  a  day  or  two  before  that  a  band  of  musicians  and  actors  set  out  from 
Florence  to  introduce  operas  for  the  first  time  at  the  Empress  of  Russia's 
court.  This  advance  of  music,  and  that  sort  of  dramatic  poetry  which  the 
Italians  at  present  look  upon  as  the  most  capital  parts  of  what  they  call  virtu, 
so  much  farther  north,  was  the  subject  I  offered  them.  They  shook  their 
heads  a  little,  and  said  it  was  a  very  diflicult  one.  However,  in  two  or  three 
minutes'  time  one  of  them  began  with  his  octave  upon  it ;  another  answered 
him  immediately,  and  they  went  on  for  five  or  six  stanzas,  alternately,  without 
any  pause,  except  that  very  short  one  which  is  allowed  them  by  giving  off  of 
the  tune  on  the  guitar  at  the  end  of  each  stanza.  They  always  improvise  to 
music."  It  is  a  pity  that  the  relator  did  not  preserve  a  record  of  this  contest ; 
it  would  have  proved  a  veritable  curiosity.  Something  in  this  line  were  the 
exhibitions  of  the  Signora  Taddi  in  1824  at  Naples  and  elsewhere  of  her 
wonderful  power  of  improvising  lyric  poetry  and  melody  at  the  same  time. 
She  would  not  only  adopt  whatever  stories  or  incidents  might  be  suggested 
as  her  subjects,  but  would  utter  her  improvisations  in  any  metre  prescribed 
and  fit  her  words  to  music  the  time  or  measure  of  which  should  be  dictated 
at  the  moment. 

Returning  to  England  and  Raleigh,  the  story  is  about  as  well  authenticated 
as  any  of  the  details  of  his  career,  that  when  a  young  adventurer,  seeking  the 
queen's  favor,  he  wrote  on  a  window  which  she  must  pass  the  line, — 

Fain  would  I  climb,  yet  fear  I  to  fall, 
which  catching  her  eye,  Elizabeth  immediately  completed  the  couplet  by  add- 
ing,— 

If  thy  heart  fails  thee,  climb  not  at  all. 

Other  prompt  rejoinders  are  attributed  to  Queen  Elizabeth.  When  asked  by 
a  priest  whether  she  allowed  the  real  presence  in  the  sacrament  of  the  Lord's 
Supper,  she  adroitly  replied, — 

Christ  was  the  word  that  spake  it ; 

He  took  the  bread  and  brake  it ; 

And  what  that  word  did  make  it, 

That  1  believe  and  take  it. 

Even  more  clever  was  her  reply,  and  in  a  Latin  hexameter  too,  to  the  inso- 
lent message  of  Philip  II.,  delivered  by  the  Spanish  ambassador  in  these 
lines : 

Te,  veto,  ne  pergas  bello  defcndere  Belgas  ; 

Quae  Dracus  eripuit,  nunc  restituantur,  oportet ; 

Quas  pater  evertit,  jubeo  te  condere  cellas  ; 

Rellgio  papje  fac  restituatur  ad  unguem. 

She  instantly  answered, — 

Ad  Grsecas,  bone  rex,  fiant  mandata,  calendas. 


LITERAR  V  CW?/(9^/r/£'5?*e5iSii^iS=^-        5  29 

Much  more  doubtful  is  the  tradition  which,  without  sufficient  reason,  seeks 
to  fasten  on  Shakespeare  the  epitaph  on  a  rich  usurer,  one  Combe,  said  to 
have  been  extemporized  by  the  poet  in  a  tavern  at  Stratford : 
Ten  in  a  hundred  the  devil  allowes, 
But  Combe  will  have  twelve  he  swears  and  vowes. 
If  any  aske  who  lies  in  this  tombe, 
"  Hoh,"  quoth  the  devil,  "  'tis  my  John-O-Combe." 

Another  version,  which  at  least  gives  the  jest  more  point,  is  that  John 
Combe  was  a  rich  Stratford  burgess  and  intimate  friend  of  Shakespeare. 
During  a  discourse,  not  unaccompanied,  we  may  imagine,  with  a  discussion 
of  beer,  Mr.  Moneybags  remarked  to  the  poet  that  in  all  likelihood  he  would 
write  his  epitaph,  and  if  he  postponed  it  until  it  was  actually  needed  the 
interlocutor  would  never  see  it ;  therefore  he  would  have  him  compose  it, 
whatever  it  was,  at  once.  With  a  laugh  Shakespeare  immediately  complied 
by  reciting  this  verse  : 

Ten  in  the  hundred  lies  here  engraved, 

'Tis  a  hundred  to  ten  his  soul  is  not  saved. 

If  any  man  ask  who  lies  in  this  tomb, 

"  Oho,"  quoth  the  devil,  "  'tis  my  John-a-Combe." 

In  the  Warwickshire  dialect  "a  combe"  means  "has  come."  Was  it  in 
memory  of  this jeu-d'espri(  that  Combe  left  the  poet  a  legacy  of  five  pounds? 

Only  less  apocryphal  than  the  foregoing  is  that  ascribed  to  Ben  Jonson. 
It  appears  that  "  rare  Ben"  had  been  invited  to  a  conviviality  at  tHfe  Falcon 
Tavern.  At  the  time  he  was  heavily  in  debt  at  the  hostelry.  Mine  host's 
heart  softening,  he  offered  to  accept  payment  in  the  poet's  own  coin, — to  wit, 
he  would  wipe  out  the  score  if  he  would  instanter  compose  a  rhyme  in  which 
he  would  tell  what  God  and  the  devil,  what  the  world  and  mine  host  himself, 
would  be  most  pleased  with  :  to  which  the  poet  promptly  responded, — 

God  is  best  pleased  when  men  forsake  their  sin  ; 
The  devil  is  best  pleased  when  they  persist  therein  ; 
The  world's  best  pleased  when  thou  dost  sell  good  wine  ; 
And  you're  best  pleased  when  I  do  pay  for  mine. 

Leaving  now  the  mythological  and  advancing  into  the  historical  ages  of  the 
impromptu,  it  may  be  remarked  by  way  of  preface  that,  the  spontaneousness 
of  their  creation  apart,  impromptus  are  in  all  other  respects  a  most  hetero- 
geneous lot.  They  assume  every  imaginable  form,  and  their  contents  may  be 
a  parody  or  a  polemic,  a  clever  thought  epigrammatically  expressed,  a  bit 
of  drollery,  grotesquerie,  or  persiflage.  The  object  is  generally  to  elicit  an 
approbatory  smile  or  to  raise  a  laugh. 

A  very  effective  impromptu  was  that  of  the  Duke  of  Dorset.  The  duke, 
John  Dryden,  Bolingbroke,  and  Chesterfield  were  in  the  habit  of  spending 
their  evenings  together.  On  one  occasion  it  was  proposed  that  the  three 
aristocrats  should  each  write  a  something  and  place  it  under  the  candlestick, 
and  that  Dryden  (who  was  at  that  period  in  very  indifferent  circumstances) 
should  determine  who  had  written  the  des(  thing.  No  sooner  proposed  than 
agreed  to.  The  scrutiny  commenced,  judgment  was  given.  "  My  lords," 
said  Dryden,  addressing  Bolingbroke  and  Chesterfield,  "you  each  of  you 
have  proved  your  wit,  but  I  am  sure  you  will,  nevertheless,  agree  with  me 
that  his  Grace  the  Duke  of  Dorset  has  excelled  ;  pray  attend,  my  lords  :  '  I 
promise  to  pay  to  yo/tn  Dryden,  Esq.,  on  demand,  One  Hundred  Pounds. — 
Dorset.'  "  It  scarcely  need  be  observed  that  the  noble  wits  subscribed  to 
the  judgment. 

Not  a  whit  less  effective,  however,  was  the  well-timed  speech  by  a  me- 
chanic. At  the  time  when  Sir  Richard  Steele  was  preparing  his  great  room  in 
"  York  Building"  for  public  orations,  he  happened  to  be  considerably  behind- 
X        «  45 


53©  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

hand  in  his  payments  to  the  workmen  ;  and  coming  one  day  among  them  to 
see  what  progress  had  been  made,  he  ordered  the  carpenter  to  get  into  the 
rostrum  and  make  a  speech,  that  he  might  observe  how  it  could  be  heard. 
The  fellow  mounted,  and,  scratching  his  poll,  told  Sir  Richard  that  he  knew 
not  what  to  say,  for  he  was  no  orator.  "  Oh,"  cried  the  knight,  "  no  matter  for 
that ;  speak  anything  that  comes  uppermost."  "  Why,  then.  Sir  Richard," 
says  the  fellow,  "  here  have  we  been  working  for  your  honor  these  six  months 
and  cannot  get  a  penny  of  money.  Pray,  sir,  when  do  you  design  to  pay  us  ?" 
"Very  well,  very  well,"  said  Sir  Richard;  "pray  come  down.  I  have  heard 
quite  enough.  I  cannot  but  own  you  speak  very  distinctly,  though  I  don't 
much  admire  your  subject." 

The  following  lines  are  sometimes  claimed  for  Jane  Brereton,  but  are  more 
generally  ascribed  as  an  impromptu  to  Lord  Chesterfield.  When  he  saw 
Beau  Nash's  full-length  picture  flanked  to  right  and  to  left  by  the  busts  of 
Newton  and  Pope,  he  exclaimed, — 

The  picture  placed  the  busts  between 

Adds  to  the  thought  much  strength  : 
Wisdom  and  Wit  are  little  seen. 

But  Folly's  at  full  length. 

This  suggests  one  of  the  best-known  mots  of  William  R.  Travers.  In  the 
palmy  days  of  the  Fiske-Gould  partnership  the  steamboat  Mary  Powell  had 
been  couipletely  refitted  and  furnished,  and  a  party  of  gentlemen  were  invited 
by  the  owners  to  inspect  her  appointments,  among  them  Mr.  Travers.  The 
saloon  of  the  vessel  had  been  decorated  in  a  magnificent  manner,  and  two 
life-size  oil-paintings  of  the  owners,  Fiske  and  Gould,  hung  up,  one  on  each 
side.  In  the  midst  of  the  hum  of  admiration  from  the  guests,  the  portraits 
attracting  particular  attention,  "Very  fine,"  cried  Travers,  "you  on  one  side 
and  Gould  on  the  other,  but  where  is  our  Lord?" 

Even  the  sober  dons  sometimes  are  infected.  Shortly  after  the  tumult  at 
the  University  of  Oxford  had  been  quelled,  on  which  occasion  troops  had  to 
be  called  in.  King  George  I.  sent  to  the  University  of  Cambridge  a  present 
of  books,  which  circumstance  induced  Dr.  Grapp,  of  Tory  Oxford,  to  write 
this  epigram : 

Otu-  royal  master  saw  with  heedful  eyes 

The  wants  of  his  two  Universities  : 

Troops  he  to  Oxford  sent,  as  knowing  why 

That  learned  body  wanted  loyalty  ; 

But  books  to  Cambridge  gave,  as  well  discerning 

That  that  right  loyal  body  wanted  learning. 

To  this  slur  Sir  William  Thompson  retorted  with  this  very  clever  improv- 
isation : 

The  king  to  Oxford  sent  a  troop  of  horse. 
For  Tories  know  no  argument  but  force  ; 
With  equal  care  to  Cambridge  books  he  sent. 
For  Whigs  allow  no  force  but  argument. 

The  following  is  credited  to  the  poet  Praed,  who,  while  a  member  in  Parlia- 
ment and  observing  the  Speaker  asleep,  wrote  and  passed  up  this  squib : 

Sleep,  Mr.  Speaker  !  Harvey  will  soon 
Move  to  abolish  the  sun  and  the  moon ; 
Hume  will,  no  doubt,  be  taking  the  sense 
Of  the  House  on  a  question  of  sixteen  pence ; 
Statesmen  will  howl,  and  patriots  will  bray, — 
Sleep,  Mr.  Speaker,  sleep  while  you  may. 

When  Burke  had  concluded  his  exceedingly  bitter  speech  against  Warren 
Hastings,  the  latter,  it  is  asserted  on  the  authority  of  Mr.  Evans,  his  private 
secretary,  promptly  penned  and  handed  around  these  lines : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  531 

Oft  have  we  wondered  that  on  Irish  ground 
No  poisonous  reptile  ever  yet  was  found. 
The  secret  stands  revealed  in  Nature's  work  : 
She  saved  her  venom  to  create  a  Burke  I 


And  of  Charles  James  Fox  it  is  stated  that  when  a  certain  lady,  in  whose 
house  he  made  one  of  a  party,  declared  she  "  did  not  care  three  skips  of  a 
louse  for  him,"  he  retorted  with  the  stanza, — 

A  lady  has  told  me,  and  in  her  own  house. 
That  she  cares  not  for  me  "  three  skips  of  a  louse." 
I  forgive  the  dear  creature  for  what  she  has  said. 
Since  women  will  talk  of  what  runs  in  their  head. 

A  very  elegant  impromptu  is  that  of  Dr.  Young,  the  author  of  the  "  Night 
Thoughts."  Walking  in  his  garden  at  Welwyn  with  two  ladies,  one  of  whom 
afterwards  became  his  wife,  a  visitor  was  announced.  "  Tell  him,"  said  the 
doctor  to  the  servant,  "  I  am  too  well  engaged  to  change  my  situation."  The 
ladies,  however,  declared  that  this  would  not  do,  and,  as  the  visitor  was  a  dis- 
tinguished gentleman,  begged  their  host  by  all  means  to  go  in  ;  finally,  the 
doctor  remaining  obdurate,  they  grasped  him  each  by  an  arm,  and  gently  but 
firmly  led  and  thrust  him  out  of  the  garden.  Finding  himself  worsted,  the 
doctor  succumbed  with  a  grandiloquent  bow,  and,  laying  his  hand  upon  his 
heart,  declaimed  in  his  impressive  and  expressive  manner  these  extempore 
lines : 

Thus  Adam  looked  when  from  the  garden  driven. 

And  thus  disputed  orders  sent  from  heaven. 

Like  him  I  go,  but  yet  to  go  I'm  loath  ; 

Like  him  I  go,  for  angels  drove  us  both. 

Hard  was  his  fate,  but  mine  still  more  unkind. 

His  Eve  went  with  him,  but  mine  stays  behind. 

One  of  the  neatest  impromptus  is  another  of  Young's.  Seated  at  a  table 
after  dinner,  in  company  with  a  number  of  gens  d^ esprit,  he  borrowed  Lord 
Chesterfield's  diamond-mounted  pencil,  and  with  the  diamond  scratched  upon 
a  wineglass, — 

Accept  a  miracle,  instead  of  wit 

See  two  dull  lines  by  Stanhope's  pencil  writ. 

The  nearness  of  genius  to  madness  is  again  illustrated  by  the  retort  of 
poor  Nat  Lee,  when  Sir  Roger  L'Estrange  came  to  visit  him  in  the  mad-house. 
Shocked  by  the  appearance  of  his  friend,  the  visitor  could  not  suppress  an 
expression  of  solicitude  for  the  sad  alteration.  The  ear  of  the  lunatic  over- 
heard the  remark,  and  his  quick  eye  caught  the  change  of  expression  in  the 
face  of  the  visitor.     In  a  flash  he  retorted, — 

Faces  may  alter,  names  can't  change. 

I  am  strange  Lee  altered,  you  are  still  Le-strange. 

Dr.  Samuel  Johnson,  the  apostle  of  common  sense,  the  dread  of  the  fool 
and  the  affected,  of  the  untruthful  and  inaccurate,  whose  conversation  was  as 
happy  and  witty  as  his  writing  was  pedantic  and  labored,  had  the  truly  Tuscan 
gift  of  improvisation.  No  man  ever  lived  of  whose  sayings  and  doings  the 
world  has  nearly  so  accurate  a  report,  and  the  examples  of  his  aptness  in  this 
direction  are  very  numerous. 

Johnson  was  discoursing  with  Boswell  on  a  certain  writer  of  poetry.  "  He 
has  taken  to  an  odd  mode,"  said  Dr.  Johnson.  "  For  example,  he'd  write 
thus: 

Hermit  hoar,  in  solemn  cell. 
Wearing  out  life's  evening  gray. 

Now,  gray  evening  is  common  enough  ;  but  evening  gray  he'd  think  finer. — 
Stay,  shall  we  make  out  the  stanza  ?— 


532  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Hermit  hoar,  in  solemn  cell. 

Wearing  out  life's  evening  gray  ; 
Smite  thy  bosom,  sage,  and  tell. 

What  is  bliss?  and  which  the  way? 

Where  is  bliss?  would  have  been  better."  Boswell  continues:  "He  then 
added  a  ludicrous  stanza,  but  would  not  repeat  it,  lest  I  should  take  it  down. 
It  was  somewhat  as  follows  ;  the  last  line  I  am  sure  I  remember  : 

While  I  thus  cried 

seer 
The  hoary  replied 

Come,  my  lad,  and  drink  some  beer. 

Later,  when  caught  in  a  better  humor,  he  consented  to  add  the  lines  as  now 
found  in  the  generally  printed  text : 

Thus  1  spoke,  and  speaking  sigh'd  : 

Scarce  repress'd  the  starting  tear ; 
When  the  smiling  sage  replied. 

Come,  my  lad,  and  drink  some  beer.' 

Boswell  :  Life,  ill.  159  (ed.  of  Birkbeck  Hill). 

Mrs.  Piozzi  relates  a  number  of  instances  in  her  "  Anecdotes  of  Johnson." 
Thus,  he  came  to  her  one  day  and  handed  her  a  paper  on  which  he  had  writ- 
ten a  few  lines,  provoked,  it  was  believed,  by  a  volume  of  poems  published  by 
Thomas  Warton  :  "  Clever  fellow,  and  I  like  him  well  enough,"  he  said. 

Wheresoe'er  I  turn  my  view, 
All  is  strange,  yet  nothing  new. 
Endless  labor  all  along. 
Endless  labor  to  be  wrong  ; 
Phrase  that  Time  has  flung  away. 
Uncouth  words  in  disarray, 
Trick'd  in  antique  ruff  and  bonnet. 
Ode,  and  elegy,  and  sonnet. 

On  the  morning  of  her  thirty-fifth  birthday,  Mrs.  Piozzi  having  playfully 
remarked,  "  Nobody  sends  me  verses  now,  because  I  am  five-and-thirty ;  yet 
Stella  was  fed  with  them  till  forty-six,"  without  a  stammer  or  hesitation,  and, 
as  the  lady  says,  certainly  without  any  notion  or  intention  of  doing  such  a 
thing,  half  a  moment  previously,  he  burst  out, — 

'•  Oft  in  danger,  yet  alive. 
We  are  come  to  thirty-five  ; 
Long  may  better  years  arrive. 
Better  years  than  thirty-five. 
Could  philosophers  contrive 
Life  to  stop  at  thirty-five. 
Time  his  hours  should  never  drive 
O'er  the  bounds  of  thirty-five. 
High  to  soar,  and  deep  to  dive. 
Nature  gives  at  thirty-five. 
Ladies,  stock  and  tend  your  hive. 
Trifle  not  at  thirty-five  ; 
For,  howe'er  we  boast  and  strive. 
Life  declines  from  thirty-five. 
He  that  ever  hopes  to  thrive 
Must  begin  by  thirty-five  ; 
And  all  who  wisely  wish  to  wive 
Must  look  on  Thrale  at  thirty-five. 

And  now,"  said  he,  as  the  lady  took  down  the  verses,  "you  may  see  what 
it  is  to  come  to  a  dictionary-maker ;  you  may  observe  that  the  rhymes  run  in 
alphabetical  order  exactly."  One  day  when  he  called  on  Mrs.  Piozzi  her 
daughter  was  consulting  with  a  friend  about  a  new  gown  and  dressed  hat  she 
thought  of  wearing  to  an  assembly.  While  she  hoped  he  was  not  listening  to 
their  coaversation,  he  broke  out  gayly, — 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  533 

"  Wear  the  gown  and  wear  the  hat, 

Snatch  thy  pleasures  while  they  last ; 
Hadst  thou  nine  lives  like  a  cat, 
Soon  these  nine  lives  would  be  past." 
He  was  most  happy  in  extemporizing  translations,  often  finding  odd  and 
ludicrous  parallels.     When  a  translation  of  a  famous  ballad,  beginning  "  Rio 
Verde,  Rio  Verde,"  was  commended  to  him,  "  I  could  do  it  better  myself," 
he  said,  "  as  thus  : 

Glassy  water,  glassy  water, 

Down  whose  current  clear  and  strong. 
Chiefs  confused  in  mutual  slaughter. 
Moor  and  Christian,  roll  along." 

"  As  for  translations,  we  used  to  make  him  run  off  one  or  two  in  a  good  humor. 
He  was  praising  the  song  of  Metastasio  : 

Deh,  se  piacermi  vuoi, 
Lascia  i  sospetti  tuoi, 
Non  mi  turbar  con  questo 

Molesto  dubitar; 

Chi  ciecamente  crede 
I  mpegna  a  serbar  fede  ; 
Chi  sempre  inganno  aspetta 

Alletta  ad  ingannar. 

'Should  you  like  it  in  English  ?'  said  he,  'thus  : 

Would  you  hope  to  gain  my  heart. 
Bid  your  teasing  doubts  depart  ; 
He  who  blindly  trusts  will  find 
Faith  from  every  generous  mind  ; 
He  who  still  expects  deceit 
Only  teaches  how  to  cheat.'  " 

As  an  instance  of  caricature  imitation  might  be  quoted  the  one  given  by 
Mrs.  Piozzi,  who  says  that  one  day  when  some  one  was  praising  these  verses 
by  Lope  de  Vega, — 

Se  aquien  los  leones  vence, 
Vence  una  muger  hermosa  ; 
O  el  de  flaco  avergiience, 
O  ella  de  ser  mas  furiosa, — 

more  than  he  thought  they  deserved.  Dr.  Johnson  observed  with  some 
animation  "that  they  were  founded  on  a  trivial  conceit,  and  that  conceit  ill 
explained  and  ill  expressed.  The  lady,  we  all  know,  does  not  conquer  in  the 
same  manner  as  the  lion  does.  'Tis  a  mere  play  on  words,  and  you  might  as 
well  say  that 

If  a  man  who  turnips  cries 

Cry  not  when  his  father  dies, 

'Tis  a  proof  that  he  would  rather 

Hive  a  turnip  than  a  father." 

This  readiness  of  finding  a  parallel,  or  making  one,  was  perpetually  shown  in 
the  course  of  his  conversation.  When  the  French  verses  of  a  certain  panto- 
mime were  quoted  to  him, — 

Je  suis  Cassandre  descendue  des  cieux, 

Pour  vous  faire  entendre,  mesdames  et  messieurs. 

Que  je  suis  Cassandre  descendue  des  cieux, — 

he  cried  out  gayly  and  suddenly, — 

I  am  Cassandra  come  down  from  the  sky. 
To  tell  each  by-stander,  what  none  can  deny, 
That  I  am  Cassandra  come  down  from  the  sky. 

And  the  humor  is  of  the  same  sort  with  which  he  answered  a  commendation 
upon  the  following  line  out  of  a  tragedy  which  was  being  read : 
Who  rules  o'er  freemen  should  himself  be  free. 

45* 


534  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

"  To  be  sure,"  said  Dr.  Johnson  : 

"  Who  drives  fat  oxen  should  himself  be  fat." 
The  famous  distich,  too,  of  an  Italian  improvvisatore,  who,  when  the  Duke 
of  Modena  ran  away  from  the  comet  in  the  year  1742  or  1743, — 

Se  al  venir  vestro  i  principi  sen'  vanno, 
Deh  venga  ogni  di — durati  un  anno, — 

he  said,  "  would  do  just  as  well  in  our  tongue,  thus : 

If  at  your  coming  princes  disappear. 
Comets,  come  every  day  and  stay  a  year." 

One  in  a  company  commended  the  verses  of  M.  de  Benserade  "  A  son  Lit :" 

Theatre  de  ris  et  de  pleurs, 
Lit,  ou  je  nais  et  oil  je  meurs, 
Tu  nous  fais  voir  comment  voisins 
Sont  nos  plaisirs  et  nos  chagrins. 

To  which  he  replied,  without  hesitating, — 

"  In  bed  we  laugh,  in  bed  we  cry. 
And,  bom  in  bed,  in  bed  we  die. 
The  near  approach  a  bed  may  show 
Of  human  bliss  to  human  woe." 

The  following  was  an  extempore  on  a  picture  of  some  people  skating,  with 
a  French  verse  written  under  : 

O'er  crackling  ice,  o'er  gulfs  profound, 

With  nimble  glide  the  skaters  play  ; 
O'er  treacherous  pleasure's  flowery  ground 

Thus  lightly  skim,  and  haste  away. 

These  pretty  Italian  verses,  too,  he  Englished,  says  Mrs.  Piozzi,  doing  it  a//' 
impromiuo  in  the  same  manner  : 

Viva  !  viva  la  padrona  ! 
Tutta  bella,  e  tutta  buona. 
La  padrona  e  un  angiolella 
Tutta  buona  e  tutta  bella  ; 
Tutta  bella  e  lutta  buona  : 
Viva  !  viva  la  padrona  ! 

Long  may  live  my  lovely  Hetty ! 
Always  young  and  always  pretty  ; 
Always  pretty,  always  young. 
Live  my  lovely  Hetty  long  ! 
Always  young  and  always  pretty  ; 
Long  may  live  my  lovely  Hetty! 

This  extempore  definition  of  a  point  of  admiration  is  also  attributed  to  him  : 

I  see — I  see — I  know  not  what : 
I  see  a  dash  above  a  dot, 
Presenting  to  my  contemplation 
A  perfect  point  of  admiration  ! 

Dr.  Percy,  by  the  publication  of  his  "  Reliques,"  had  made  a  furore  in  favor 
of  ballad  poetry  with  which  Dr.  Johnson  was  by  no  means  in  thorough  sym- 
pathy. In  the  year  1771  the  learned  antiquarian  published  "a  long  ballad  in 
many  fits  ;  it  is  pretty  enough."  It  was  called  "  The  Hermit  of  Warkworth  : 
a  Ballad,  in  Three  Cantos."  At  one  of  Miss  Reynolds's  teas  it  was  the  subject 
of  discussion,  and  some  one  expressed  great  admiration  of  it  in  particular 
and  of  ballads  in  general  for  their  simple  beauty  or  beautiful  simplicity. 
A  stanza  was  read  from  the  unfortunate  "  Hermit."  "  Why,  sir,"  cried  John- 
son, "  I  could  produce  you  as  good  stuff  in  ordinary  narrative  conversation. 
For  instance : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  535 

As  with  my  hat  upon  my  head 

I  walked  along  the  Strand, 
I  there  did  meet  another  man 

With  his  hat  in  his  hand," 

See  BoswELL,  Life,  vol.  ii.  p.  136  (ed.  of  Birkbeck  Hill). 

"  Or,  to  make  such  poetry  subservient  to  my  immediate  use,"  he  continued, 
turning  to  Miss  Reynolds, — 

"  I  therefore  pray  thee,  Retiny  dear. 
That  thou  wilt  give  to  me, 
With  cream  and  sugar  softened  well. 
Another  cup  of  tea. 

"  Nor  fear  that  I,  my  gentle  maid. 

Shall  long  detain  the  cup. 

When  once  unto  the  bottom  I 

Have  drunk  the  liquor  up. 

"  Yet  hear,  alas !  this  mournful  truth. 
Nor  hear  it  with  a  frown  : 
Thou  canst  not  make  the  tea  as  fast 
As  I  can  gulp  it  down." 

Murray's  Johnsoniana,  p.  17s. 

"  Have  you  heard  Johnson's  criticism  on  Percy's  ballads  ?"  asked  a  friend  of 
Garrick  the  next  morning.  "  It  is  all  over  town,"  replied  the  latter.  On  still 
another  occasion,  at  Streatham,  he  caricatured  this  legendary  ballad  poetry : 

The  tender  infant,  meek  and  mild. 

Fell  down  upon  the  stone  ; 
The  nurse  took  up  the  squealing  child. 

But  still  the  child  squeal'd  on. 

Piozzi :  Anecdotes. 

William  Cowper  was  noted  for  his  facility  in  extemporizing.  A  party  of 
gentlemen,  with  Cowper  among  them,  were  assembled  at  the  house  of  Lord 
Macclesfield,  when  one  proposed  that  a  number  of  slips  each  with  an  uncom- 
plimentary device  be  drawn  by  lot,  and  the  poet  challenged  to  turn  each  into  a 
compliment  on  the  gentleman  who  had  drawn  it.  Agreed  and  done,  and  here 
is  the  result : 

Vanity. — Drawn  by  Lord  Macclesfield. 

Be  vain,  my  lord,  you  have  a  right ; 

For  who,  like  you,  can  boast  this  night 

A  group  assembled  in  one  place 

Fraught  with  such  beauty,  wit,  and  grace* 
IttsensibiUty. — Mr.  Marsham. 

Insensible  can  Marsham  be  ? 

Yes,  and  no  fault,  you  must  agree; 

His  heart  his  virtue  only  warms. 

Insensible  to  vice's  charms. 
Inconstancy. — Mr.  Adams. 

Inconstancy  there  is  no  harm  in 

In  Adams,  where  it  looks  so  charming; 

Who  wavers,  as  he  well  may  boast, 

Wliich  virtue  he  shall  follow  most. 
Impudence. — Mr.  St.  John. 

St.  John,  your  vice  you  can't  disown: 

For  in  this  age  'tis  too  well  known 

That  impudent  that  man  must  be 

Who  dares  from  folly  to  be  free. 
Intemperance.— ^'c.  Gerard. 

Intemperance  implies  excess : 

Changed  though  the  name,  the  fault's  not  less  : 

Yet  blush  not,  Gerard,  there's  no  need, — 

In  all  that's  worthy  you  exceed. 


536 


HANDY-BOOK  OF 


A  Blank  was  drawn  by  Mr.  Legge. 

If  she  a  blank  for  Legge  designed. 

Sure  Fortune  is  no  longer  blind  ; 

For  we  shall  fill  the  paper  given 

With  every  virtue  under  heaven. 
Cowardice. — General  Caillard. 

Most  soldiers  cowardice  disclaim. 

But  Caillard  owns  it  without  shame : 

Bold  in  whate'er  to  arms  belong. 

He  wants  the  courage  to  do  wrong. 

Canning,  being  challenged  to  find  a  rhyme  on  Juliana,  immediately  pro- 
duced this  : 

Walking  in  the  shady  grove 

With  my  Juliana, 
For  lozenges  I  gave  my  love 
Ipecacuanha. 
Ipecacuanha  lozenges,  however,  were  unknown  at  the  time,  and  this  cir- 
cumstance makes  the  story  doubtful.     The  same  maybe  said  of  one  attributed 
to  Goldsmith.     He  was  put  into  the  hands  of  a  dancing-master,  for  whom  the 
awkward,  ugly,  pockmarked  lad  was  a  butt  of  ridicule  ;  he  made  all  manner  of 
fun  of  him,  and  called  him  his  little  ^Esop.     Goldsmith,  nettled  by  the  jest, 
stopped  short  in  his  hornpipe,  and  cried, — 

Our  herald  hath  proclaimed  this  saying  : 
See  yEsop  dancing  and  his  monkey  playing. 

The  repartee  which  was  thought  wonderful  in  a  boy  of  seven  years  becomes 
still  more  so  when  it  is  remembered  that  in  after-years  Garrick,  in  his  dis- 
tich on  Goldsmith,  describes  his  conversation  to  be  "  like  that  of  poor  Poll." 

The  story  of  Burns's  alleged  improvised  diatribe  against  Andrew  Horner  is 
probably  culled  from  the  Book  of  Ananias.  Burns's  power  of  extemporizing 
was  magnificent,  and  there  is  no  need  of  going  outside  of  his  acknowledged 
writings  for  brilliant  examples.  As  they  are  easily  accessible,  only  a  few  of  the 
brightest  and  lightest  and  most  spontaneous  will  be  given.  Those  who  want 
to  see  Burns  angry  should  read  the  following,  and  then  compare  it  with  the 
Andrew  Horner  fit.  Surely  here  are  invective  and  rage,  but  with  none  of  the 
scurrility  which  makes  the  other  unreadable.  The  lines  were  written  by  the 
indignant  poet  on  a  window  of  the  tavern  at  Inverary,  when  he  was  smarting 
under  the  sting  of  an  imaginary  slight : 

Whoe'er  he  be  that  sojourns  here, 
I  pity  much  his  case, 

Unless  he  come  to  wait  upon 
The  Lord  their  God,  his  Grace. 

There's  naething  here  but  Highland  pride 

And  Highland  scab  and  hunger  : 
If  Providence  has  sent  me  here, 

'Twas  surely  in  his  anger. 

Here  is  the  poem  on  Andrew  Horner  : 

In  seventeen  hundred  an'  forty-nine, 
Satan  took  stuff  to  mak'  a  swine. 

And  cuist  it  in  a  corner ; 
But  wilily  he  changed  his  plan, 
Shaped  it  to  something  like  a  man. 

And  ca'd  it  Andrew  Horner. 

The  following  is  not  printed  in  his  works,  but  is  generally  credited  to  him, 
and  certainly  has  much  of  his  native  archness.  At  a  kirk  the  preacher  was 
hurling  denunciation  at  sinners,  and  painting  in  lurid  colors — quoting,  after  the 
Scotch  fashion,  many  texts — the  pains  and  terrors  of  eternal  damnation.  A 
beautiful  girl  who  was  sitting  in  a  pew  before  him  was  becoming  greatly 
agitated,  noting  which,  the  poet  took  her  Bible  and  wrote  on  its  fly-leaf, — 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  537 

Fair  maid,  you  need  not  take  the  hint. 

Nor  idle  texts  pursue  : 
'Twas  only  sinners  that  he  meant. 

Not  angels  such  as  you. 

The  following  lines  were  written  under  the  portrait  of  the  celebrated  Miss 
Burns  on  the  poet's  first  visit  to  Edinburgh.  The  lady  was  more  notorious 
than  reputable : 

Cease,  ye  prudes,  your  envious  railing. 

Lovely  Burns  has  charms — confess  ! 
True  it  is,  she  has  one  failing, — 

Had  a  woman  ever  less  ? 

The  following  was  extemporized  in  the  Court  of  Sessions  : 
Lord-Advocate  Campbell. 

He  clenched  his  pamphlets  in  his  fist. 

He  quoted  and  he  hinted. 
Till  in  a  declamation  mist 

His  argument  he  tint  it  : 
He  gaped  for't,  he  graped  for't. 

He  fand  it  was  awa',  man  ; 
But  what  his  common  sense  came  short. 

He  eked  it  out  wi'  law,  man. 

Mr.  Erskine. 

Collected,  Harry  stood  a  wee. 

Then  open'd  out  his  arm,  man  : 
His  lordship  sat  wi'  ruefu'  e'e. 

And  eyed  the  gathering  storm,  man  ; 
Like  wind-driven  hail  it  did  assail. 

Or  torrents  owre  a  linn,  man  ; 
The  Bench  sae  wise  lift  up  their  eyes. 

Half  wauken'd  wi'  the  din,  man. 

On  being  requested  to  say  grace  at  the  table  of  the  Earl  of  Selkirk : 
Some  hae  meat  and  canna  eat. 

And  some  wad  eat  that  want  it. 
But  we  hae  meat,  and  we  can  eat. 

And  sae  the  Lord  be  thankit. 

Bushe,  the  Irish  Chief  Baron,  made  this  impromptu  verse  upon  two  agi- 
tators who  had  refused  to  fight  duels,  one  on  account  of  his  affection  for  his 
wife,  and  the  other  because  of  his  love  for  his  daughter  : 

Two  heroes  of  Erin,  abhorrent  of  slaughter. 

Improved  on  the  Hebrew  command  : 
One  honored  his  wife,  and  the  other  his  daughter. 

That  his  days  might  be  long  in  the  land. 

The  greatest,  the  very  king  amor.g  improvisators,  however,  was  Theodore 
Hook,  although,  unhappily,  of  his  wonderful  feats  there  remain  only  the 
merest  scraps.  His  impromptu  essays,  being  for  the  most  part  hits  at  passing 
events,  have  been,  with  few  exceptions,  swept  from  the  face  of  the  literary 
globe.  The  coincidence  of  a  Boswell  and  a  Johnson  is  an  event  that  has 
happened  but  once  in  the  history  of  the  world. 

As  a  rule,  men  endowed  with  mere  conversational  talents,  howsoever  brilliant 
their  wit  and  perfect  their  success,  must  be  content,  like  actors,  whom  they  in 
a  measure  resemble,  with  the  applause  of  their  contemporaries. 

In  Hook's  case  we  must  be  content  mainly  with  the  information  that  in  the 
art,  if  art  it  may  be  called,  of  pouring  forth  extemporaneous  poetry,  music  and 
words,  rhyme  and  reason,  he  stood  alone.  Mrs.  Mathews  gives  this  account 
of  his  performances  : 

In  the  course  of  the  evening  many  persons  sung,  and  Mr.  Hook,  being  in  turn  solicited, 
displayed,  to  the  delight  of  all  present,  his  wondrous  talent  in  extemporaneous  singing.  "The 
company  was  numerous  and  generally  strangers  to  Mr.  Hook,  but  without  a  moment's  pre- 


538  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

meditation  he  composed  a  verse  upon  every  person  in  the  room,  full  of  the  most  'pointed  wit 
and  with  the  truest  rhymes,  unhesitatingly  gathering  into  his  subject,  as  he  rapidly  proceeded, 
in  addition  to  what  had  passed  during  the  dinner,  every  trivial  incident  of  the  moment. 
Every  action  was  turned  to  account ;  every  circumstance,  the  look,  the  gesture,  or  any  acci- 
dental effects,  served  as  occasion  for  more  wit.  Mr.  Sheridan  was  astonished  at  this  extraor- 
dinary faculty,  and  declared  that  he  could  not  have  imagined  such  power  possible  had  he 
not  witnessed  it.  No  description,  he  said,  could  have  convinced  him  of  so  peculiar  an  instance 
of  genius,  and  he  protested  that  he  should  not  have  believed  it  to  be  an  unstudied  effort  had 
he  not  seen  proof  that  no  anticipation  could  have  been  formed  of  what  might  arise  to  furnish 
matter  and  opportunities  for  his  good-natured  verse. 

He  was,  indeed,  not  always  equal,  and  sometimes  he  failed.  But  when  the 
call  was  well  timed  and  the  company  such  as  excited  his  ambition,  it  is  impossi- 
ble to  conceive  anything  more  marvellous  than  the  felicity  he  displayed.  He 
accompanied  himself  on  the  piano-forte,  and  the  music  was  frequently,  though 
not  always,  as  new  as  the  verse.  He  usually  stuck  to  the  common  ballad- 
measures,  but  one  favorite  sport  was  a  mimic  opera,  and  then  he  seemed  to 
triumph  without  effort  over  every  variety  of  metre  and  complication  of  stanza. 
On  one  occasion  he  sang  a  song  upon  a  company  of  sixty  persons,  each  verse 
containing  an  epigram.  Sheridan  said  it  was  the  most  extraordinary  exertion 
of  the  human  intellect  he  had  ever  witnessed. 

While  it  is  true  he  was  without  rivals,  of  course  he  found  imitators.  One 
of  these  gentlemen  probably  saw  reason  to  remember  his  attempt  at  rivalry. 
Ambitious  of  distinction,  he  took  an  opportunity  of  striking  off  into  verse 
immediately  after  one  of  Hook's  happiest  efforts.  Theodore's  bright  eyes 
flashed  and  fixed  on  the  intruder,  who  soon  began  to  flounder  in  the  meshes 
of  his  stanzas,  when  he  was  put  out  of  his  misery  at  once  by  the  following 
couplet  from  the  master,  given,  however,  with  a  good-humored  smile  that 
robbed  it  of  all  offence  : 

I  see,  sir,  I  see,  sir,  what  'tis  that  you're  hatching  ; 
But  mocking,  you  see,  sir,  is  not  always  catching. 

One  of  the  participators  relates  the  following  occurrence  at  a  gay  young 
bachelor's  villa  near  Highgate,  when  the  other  literary  lion  was  one  of  a  very 
different  breed, — Mr.  Coleridge.  Much  claret  had  been  shed  before  the 
"ancient  mariner"  proclaimed  that  he  could  swallow  no  more  of  anything, 
unless  it  were  punch.  The  materials  were  forthwith  produced,  the  bowl  was 
planted  before  the  poet,  and,  as  he  proceeded  in  his  concoction.  Hook  un- 
bidden took  his  place  at  the  piano.  He  burst  into  a  bacchanal  of  egregious 
luxury,  every  line  of  which  had  reference  to  the  author  of  "  Lay  Sermons" 
and  the  "  Aids  to  Reflection."  The  room  was  becoming  excessively  hot.  The 
first  glass  of  the  punch  was  handed  to  Hook,  who  paused  to  quaff  it,  and  then, 
exclaiming  that  he  was  stifled,  flung  his  glass  through  the  window.  Cole- 
ridge rose  with  the  aspect  of  a  benignant  ])atriarch,  and  demolished  another 
pane ;  the  example  was  followed  generally, — the  window  was  a  sieve  in  an  in- 
stant ;  the  kind  host  was  farthest  from  the  mark,  and  his  goblet  made  havoc 
of  the  chandelier.  The  roar  of  laughter  was  drowned  in  Theodore's  resump- 
tion of  the  song,  and  window,  chandelier,  and  the  peculiar  shot  of  each  indi- 
vidual destroyer  had  apt,  in  many  cases  exquisitely  witty,  commemoration.  In 
walking  home  Coleridge  declared  to  the  relator  of  this  story,  in  a  most  excel- 
lent lecture  on  the  distinction  between  talent  and  genius,  that  Mr.  Hook  was 
as  true  a  genius  as  Dante. 

Among  other  things,  the  names  of  those  present  afforded  not  unfrequently 
matter  for  his  songs,  and  once  he  is  said  to  have  encountered  a  pair  of  most 
unmanageable  patronymics,  Sir  Moses  Ximenes  and  a  Mr.  Rosenagen,  a  Dane. 
"  The  line  antiphonetic  to  the  former  has  escaped  us,"  says  Mr.  Barham  in  his 
"Life  of  Hook,"  vol.  i.  p.  35,  but  the  latter,  reserved  till  near  the  conclusion, 
was  .thus  played  upon  : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  539 

Yet  more  of  my  Muse  is  required, 

Alas  !   I  fear  she  is  done  ; 
But  no  !  like  a  fiddler  that's  tired, 

I'll  Rosen-agen,  and  go  on. 

The  following  lines  were  left  at  Theodore  Hook's  house,  in  June,  1834,  by 
his  friend  and  biographer.  Hook  was  publishing  at  this  time  his  "  Sayings 
and  Doings :" 

As  Dick  and  I 
Were  a-sailing  by. 
At  Fulham  Bridge  1  cocked  my  eye. 
And  says  I,  "  Ad-zooks  ! 
There's  Theodore  Hook's, 
Whose  Sayings  and  Doings  make  such  pretty  books." 

"  I  wonder,"  says  I, 

Still  keeping  my  eye 
On  the  house,  "  if  he's  in, — I  should  like  to  try," 

With  his  oar  on  his  knee. 

Says  Dick,  says  he, 
"  Father,  suppose  you  land  and  see  !" 

"  What,  land  and  sea^' 

Says  I  to  he, 
"  Together  ?  why,  Dick,  why,  how  can  that  be  ?'* 

And  my  comical  son — 

Who  is  fond  of  fun — 
I  thought  would  have  split  his  sides  at  the  pun. 

So  we  rows  to  the  shore 

And  knocks  at  the  door, 
When  William — a  man  I've  seen  often  before — 

Makes  answer  and  says, 

"  Master's  gone  in  a  chaise 
Call'd  a  hotnnibus,  drawn  by  a  couple  of  bays." 

So  I  then, 

"  Just  lend  me  a  pen." 
"  I  will,  sir,"  says  William,  politest  of  men  ; 

So  having  no  card,  these  poetical  brayings 

Are  the  records  I  leave  of  my  doings  and  sayings. 

Richard  H.  Barham. 

One  day,  while  Hook  was  delighting  and  astonishing  some  friends  with 
his  improvised  songs,  the  maid  came  in,  and,  unconsciously  falling  into  metre, 
announced, — 

Please,  Mr.  Winter  has  called  for  the  taxes. 

Hook  immediately  fell  into  the  jingle,  and,  facing  the  abashed  girl,  continued, — 

I  advise  you  to  give  him  whatever  he  axes. 

He  isn't  the  man  to  stand  nonsense  or  flummery. 

For  though  his  name's  Winter,  his  actions  are  summary. 

Hook  was  one  of  a  dinner-party  where  the  conversation  turned  on  the 
Trojan  war.  Then  the  peculiarities  of  the  Latin  language  were  discussed. 
A  slight  lull  in  the  conversation  occurring,  one  of  the  party,  alluding  to 
Hook's  extemporizing  powers,  challenged  him  to  make  on  the  spot  a  joke  out 
of  the  Latin  gerunds.  Hook  made  a  few  humorous  remarks,  referring  to 
.^neas  and  Dido,  and  then  extemporized  two  lines,  thus : 

When  Dido  found  .(Eneas  did  not  come. 
She  wept  in  silence,  and  was  Di-do-dunib. 

Alexandre  Dumas  fils  dined  one  day  with  Dr.  Gistal,  one  of  the  most  pop- 
ular and  eminent  physicians  in  Marseilles,  says  the  Fi_<^aro.  After  dinner  the 
company  adjourned  to  the  drawing-room,'  where  coffee  was  served.  Here 
Gistal  said  to  his  honored  guest, — 


540  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

"  My  dear  Dumas,  I  know  you  are  a  capital  hand  at  improvising.     Pray 
oblige  me  with  four  lines  of  your  own  composing  here  in  this  album." 
"  With  pleasure,"  the  author  replied.     He  took  his  pencil  and  wrote, — 
For  the  health  and  well-being  of  our  dear  old  town 

Dr.  Gistal  has  been  anxious — verj'. 
Result :  The  hospital  is  now  pulled  down, 

"  You  flatterer  !"  the  doctor  interrupted,  as  he  was  lookimg  over  the  writer's 
shoulder.     But  Dumas  went  on  : 

And  in  its  place  we've  a  cemetery. 

The  talent  at  improvising  in  rhyme  has  cropped  up  in  some  very  out-of-the 
way  places.  An  instance  comes  from  North  Carolina.  James  Dodge  was 
at  one  time  the  clerk  of  the  Supreme  Court  of  that  State.  A  number  of  dis- 
tinguished lawyers,  among  them  Hillman,  Dews,  and  Swain  (the  last-named 
being  president  of  the  State  University),  thought  it  would  be  capital  fun  to 
have  a  joke  at  the  clerk,  so  one  of  them  composed  and  handed  him,  amid  the 
laughter  of  the  company,  the  following  epitaph  : 

Here  lies  James  Dodge,  who  dodged  all  good. 

And  never  dodged  an  evil  ; 
And,  after  dodging  all  he  could. 
He  could  not  dodge  the  devil. 

Mr.  Dodge  read  the  paper,  smiled,  sat  down,  and,  quickly  writing  something 
at  the  foot  of  the  verses,  handed  it  back  to  the  gentlemen,  who  were  still 
laughing.     This  is  what  he  had  done  : 

Here  lies  a  Hillman  and  a  Swain  ; 

Their  lot  let  no  man  choose  : 
They  lived  in  sin,  and  died  in  pain. 
And  the  devil  got  his  dues  (Dews). 

In.  This  word  is  used  in  American  slang  with  many  attributed  meanings. 
The  single  phrase  "  to  be  in  it"  has  several  nuances.  "  I'm  in  for  the  stuflP' 
means  "  I  am  after  the  boodle,"  often  with  an  ulterior  meaning,  looking 
towards  bribery  and  corruption.  "  He  isn't  in  it"  means  that  the  individual 
alluded  to  is  left  out  in  the  cold,  is  hopelessly  distanced,  defeated,  or  worsted, 
either  prospectively  or  actually.  Possibly  this  was  originally  a  race-track 
expression.  Of  a  horse  who  has  no  apparent  chance  of  victory,  or  who  has 
been  badly  beaten,  it  is  said  that  he  is  not,  or  was  not,  in  the  race.  The 
expression  is  now  usually  shortened  to  "  not  in  it"  in  lieu  of  "  not  in  the  race." 
"To  be  in  it,"  on  the  other  hand,  means  to  take  an  interest — pecuniary,  per- 
sonal, or  mental — in  anything ;  to  agree  to  ;  to  comprehend. 

I  won't  listen  to  your  noncents  no  longer.  Jest  say  rite  straight  out  what  you're  driving  at. 
If  you  mean  gettin'  hitched,  I'm  in. — Aktemus  Ward. 

Pops.  Black  eye,  nose  out  of  plumb,  clothes  torn?     Been  in  a  fight,  haven't  you,  my  son? 

My  Son.  N-N-No,  sir. 

Pops.  What's  that  you're  saying?  Why,  you  must  have  been  in  a  fight?  Now,  tell  the 
truth. 

My  San.  Well,  Pops,  there  was  a  fight,  but  I  wasn't  in  it ! — Puck. 

In  hoc  signo  vinces  (L.,  "  Under  this  standard  thou  shalt  conquer"), 
the  motto  assumed  by  the  Emperor  Constantine  the  Great,  in  connection  with 
a  monogram  consisting  of  a  Greek  X  with  a  P,  the  same  as  our  R,  in  the 
middle  of  it.  The  story  of  its  adoption  is  related  by  Eusebius,  who  claims  to 
have  received  it  from  the  emperor  himself.  In  the  campaign  against  Maxen- 
tius  (a.D.  312),  Constantine  just  before  crossing  the  Alps  held  a  general  review 
of  his  troops,  during  which  he  prayed  fervently  to  the  God  of  the  Christians 
for  assistance.  At  noon  of  the  same  day,  gazing  up  in  the  heavens,  Constan- 
tine saw  above  the  sun  the  monogram  and  the  motto.  Again  in  the  night- 
time the  sign  appeared  to  him  in  a  dream.     On  awakening  he  copied  it  down 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  541 

on  a  piece  of  paper,  and  sent  for  some  Christian  teachers  to  explain  it.  They 
informed  him  that  XP  were  the  first  two  letters  of  the  Greek  word  XPI2T0S, 
or  Christ.  Constantine  thereupon  adopted  the  sign  as  his  device.  He  caused 
a  new  standard  to  be  made,  which  he  called  the  Labarum.  It  consisted  of  a 
long  gilt  staff  with  a  transverse  bar,  from  which  hung  a  piece  of  purple  silk, 
adorned  with  the  images  of  the  emperor  and  his  children.  At  the  top  of  the 
staff  was  a  wreath  of  gold,  enclosing  the  sacred  sign. 

"  Constantine's  own  narrative  to  Eusebius,"  says  the  "  Encyclopaedia  Britan- 
nica,"  "attributed  his  conversion  to  the  miraculous  appearance  of  a  flaming 
cross  in  the  sky  at  noonday,  under  the  circumstances  already  indicated.  The 
story  has  met  with  nearly  every  degree  of  acceptance,  from  the  unquestioning 
faith  of  Eusebius  himself  to  the  incredulity  of  Gibbon,  who  treats  it  as  a 
fable,  while  not  denying  the  sincerity  of  the  conversion.  On  the  supposition 
that  Constantine  narrated  the  incident  in  good  faith,  the  amount  of  objective 
reality  that  it  possesses  is  a  question  of  altogether  secondary  importance." 

Incedis  per  ignes  suppositos  cineri  doloso  (L.,  "  You  are  walking 
upon  fire  covered  with  deceitful  ashes").  This  familiar  quotation  is  from  Horace 
{Odes,  ii.  i,  7),  the  person  addressed  being  Pollio,  who  was  writing  a  history  of 
the  recent  civil  war.  A  curious  analogue  is  the  expression  used  by  Count  de 
Salvandy  at  a  ball  given  at  the  Palais  Royal  in  Paris,  June  5,  1S30,  to  the 
King  of  Naples  by  his  brother-in-law,  then  Duke  of  Orleans,  but  a  tew  weeks 
later  King  Louis  Philippe.  Charles  X.  was  himself  present.  At  the  height  of 
the  festivities  Salvandy,  a  former  minister  to  Naples,  said  to  the  host,  with  a 
prescience  of  coming  events,  "You  are  giving  us  quite  a  Neapolitan  fete  :  we 
are  dancing  upon  a  volcano."  On  July  30  the  three  days'  revolution  oc- 
curred which  sent  Charles  X.  in  exile  to  England  and  placed  the  citizen-king 
on  the  throne. 

There  are  so  many  dangerous  pitfalls  that  in  order  to  be  safe  one  must  slip  through  the 
world  somewhat  lightly  and  superficially, — one  must  glide  and  not  press  too  hard  on  any 
point.  Pleasure  itself  is  painful  in  its  intensity.  Incedis  per  ignes,  etc. — Montaigne  : 
Essays. 

Inch.  Give  him  an  inch  and  he'll  take  an  ell,  an  old  English  proverb, 
applied  to  a  grasping  and  covetous  nature,  or  to  one  who  abuses  another's 
patience  or  generosity.     It  is  found  thus  in  Heywood  : 

For  when  I  gave  you  an  inch  you  tooke  an  ell. — Proverbs. 

Give  an  inch,  he'^  take  an  ell. — Webster  :  Sir  Thomas  Wyatt. 

Incroyable  (Fr.,  literally,  "  the  incredible,"  but  never  used  in  its  English 
equivalent),  the  name  for  a  fashion  of  male  costume  which  sprang  up  under 
the  French  Directory  : 

It  was  under  the  Directory  that  the  incroyable  and  merveilleuse  costumes  competed 
for  supremacy  with  Roman  togas  and  Grecian  drapery.  The  beau  of  the  period  enveloped 
his  throat  in  two  and  a  half  ells  of  wide  muslin  or  cambric.  This  he  fenced  round  with  the 
high  standing  collar  of  a  short-waisted  coat,  which  fell  low  at  the  back  in  two  long  narrow 
tails.  It  was  also  much  cut  away  at  the  hips,  to  give  room  for  the  puckerings  and  plaits  of 
his  -wiAe  panialon.  This  ample  garment  was  bunched  up  at  the  back  in  the  form  of  a  lady's 
bustle,  its  amplitude  probably  signifying  that  the  wearer  no  longer  gloried  in  the  appellation 
of  sans-culoite.  His  hair  fell  in  ringlets  around  his  immense  cravat,  and  he  was  crowned 
with  a  hat  so  small  that  with  difficulty  he  kept  it  on  his  head. —  Temple  Bar. 

Independence  forever.  On  the  30th  of  June,  1826,  John  Adams,  lying 
on  his  death-bed,  was  applied  to  for  a  toast  to  be  given  in  his  name  on  the 
approaching  Fourth  of  July.  He  replied  with  the  above  words.  Asked 
whether  he  would  add  anything  to  them,  he  replied,  "  Not  one  word."  On 
the  morning  of  the  4th,  hearing  the  noise  of  bells  and  cannon,  he  inquired  the 
cause.  When  told  it  was  Independence  Day,  he  murmured,  "  Independence 
forever,"  Before  evening  he  was  dead.  On  August  2  of  the  same  year 
46 


542  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Daniel  Webster,  in  a  eulogy  on  Adams  and  Jefferson,  introduced  an  imaginary 
speech  by  Adams  in  favor  of  the  adoption  of  the  Declaration  of  Independence. 
The  concluding  words  were,  "  It  is  my  living  sentiment,  and  by  the  blessing 
of  God  it  shall  be  my  dying  sentiment, — Independence  now,  and  Independence 
forever."  The  same  supposed  speech  opened  with  the  famous  sentence, 
"  Sink  or  swim,  live  or  die,  survive  or  perish,  I  give  my  heart  and  my  hand  to 
this  vote."  This  sentence  was  derived  from  an  actual  conversation  held  be- 
tween Adams  and  Jonathan  Sewall  in  1774,  and  duly  recorded  in  the  "  Works 
of  John  Adams,"  vol.  iv.  p.  8  :  "I  answered  that  the  die  was  now  cast ;  I 
had  passed  the  Rubicon.  Swim  or  sink,  live  or  die,  survive  or  perish  with 
my  country,  was  my  unalterable  determination."  It  will  be  noticed  that 
Adams's  phrase  "  Swim  or  sink"  in  lieu  of  "  Sink  or  swim"  adds  to  the  logical 
unity  of  the  sentence  at  the  expense  of  its  euphony.  Long  before  Adams, 
Peele  had  said,  "Live  or  die,  sink  or  swim"  {Edward  I.), — less  tautological, 
but  less  magnificent. 

Index.  In  early  English  literature  a  number  of  words  were  at  various 
periods  used  to  indicate  a  list  or  summary  of  the  topics  treated  in  a  book, — viz., 
Register,  Calendar,  Summary,  Syllabus,  Index,  and  Table,  or  Table  of  Con- 
tents. After  a  faint  struggle  the  first  four  dropped  out  of  the  contest,  and  left 
the  field  clear  to  the  two  other  contestants,  who  eventually  compromised  their 
claims.  The  table  of  contents  became  the  name  of  the  ordered  and  some- 
times classified  list  placed  usually  at  the  beginning  of  a  book,  and  the  index 
that  of  the  alphabetical  list  placed  usually  at  the  end.  On  the  whole,  we  may 
say  that  the  victory  remained  with  the  word  Index,  inasmuch  as  the  alpha- 
betical list  is  infinitely  the  more  valuable  of  the  two. 

Yet  its  value  and  the  degree  of  honor  to  which  it  is  legitimately  entitled 
were  not  always  acknowledged.  In  older  English  authors  we  find  continual 
gibes  at  what  was  known  as  index-learning.  Thus,  John  Glanville  writes  in 
his  "  Vanity  of  Dogmatizing,"  "  Methinks  'tis  a  pitiful  piece  of  knowledge 
that  can  be  learnt  from  an  index,  and  a  poor  ambition  to  be  rich  in  the  inven- 
tory of  another's  treasure."  And  Swift  and  Pope  both  use  an  image  which 
has  become  classic.     In  the  "  Dunciad,"  Old  Dulness  explains  to  her  votaries 

How  index-learning  turns  no  student  pale, 

Yet  holds  the  eel  of  science  by  the  tail. 


Swift  was  before  Pope.     In  the  "Tale  of  a  Tub"  he  had  said,— 

The  most  accomplished  way  of  using  books  at  present  is  twofold  :  either,  first,  to  serve 
them  as  men  do  lords, — learn  their  titles  exactly,  and  then  brag  of  their  acquaintance ;  or, 
secondly,  which  is  indeed  the  choicer,  the  profounder,  and  politer  method,  to  get  a  thorough 
insight  into  the  Index,  by  which  the  whole  book  is  governed  and  turned,  like  fishes  by  the 
tail.  For  to  enter  the  palace  of  learning  at  the  great  gate  requires  an  expense  of  time  and 
forms  ;  therefore  men  of  much  haste  and  little  ceremony  are  content  to  get  in  by  the  back 
door.  For  the  arts  are  all  in  a  flying  march,  and  therefore  more  easily  subdued  by  attacking 
them  in  the  rear.  Thus  physicians  discover  the  state  of  the  whole  body  by  consulting  only 
what  comes  from  behind. 

But  before  the  time  of  Pope  and  Swift  the  pros  and  cons  had  been  admi- 
rably though  quaintly  summarized  by  Thomas  Fuller,  and  the  value  of  the 
index  triumphantly  vindicated.  "  I  confess,"  he  says,  "  there  is  a  lazy  kind 
of  learning  which  is  only  indical,  when  scholars  (like  adders,  which  only  bite 
the  horse's  heels)  nibble  but  at  the  tables,  which  are  calces  librorum,  neglect- 
ing the  body  of  the  book.  But,  though  the  idle  deserve  no  crutches  (let  not  a 
staff  be  used  by  them,  but  on  them),  pity  it  is  the  weary  should  be  denied  the 
benefit  thereof,  and  industrious  scholars  prohibited  the  accommodation  of  an 
index,  most  used  by  those  who  most  pretend  to  contemn  it."  Carlyle  heartily 
approved  this  sentiment.  His  citations  of  the  German  historians  who  sup- 
plied the  materials  for  his  "  Frederick  the  Great"  form  one  continuous  wail 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  543 

over  their  neglect  to  provide  indexes  as  a  guide  through  the  wide-spread, 
inorganic,  trackless  desert  of  their  writings  "  to  the  poor  half-peck  of  cinders 
hidden  in  wagon-load  of  ashes,  no  sieve  allowed."  Lord  Campbell  is  re- 
ported to  have  proposed  that  any  author  who  published  a  book  without  an 
index  should  be  deprived  of  the  benefit  of  the  Copyright  Act. 

It  was  towards  the  close  of  the  sixteenth  century  that  the  value  of  indexes 
first  began  to  be  appreciated,  though  only  in  a  staccato  sort  of  fashion.  Some 
books,  like  Lyndewood's  "  Constitutiones  Provinciales"  (London,  1525).  Juan 
de  Pineda's  "History  of  the  World"  (Salamanca,  1588),  and  Baronius's 
"  Annales  Ecclesiastici"  (1588  to  1607),  possessed  full  and  excellent  indexes, 
which  are  still  the  admiration  of  the  scholar  and  the  bibliophile.  And  even 
where  an  author  published  an  important  book  without  an  index  he  seems 
sometimes  to  have  had  an  uneasy  consciousness  that  he  was  not  doing  the 
right  thing  by  the  reader.  Thus,  Howel's  "  Discourse  concerning  the  Pre- 
cedency of  Kings"  (1664)  has  a  preliminary  notice,  nominally  from  "The 
Bookseller  to  the  Reader,"  which  runs  as  follows :  "  The  reason  why  there  is 
no  Table  or  Index  added  hereunto  is,  that  every  page  in  this  work  is  so  full 
of  signal  remarks  that  were  they  couch'd  in  an  Index  it  would  make  a  volume 
as  big  as  the  book,  and  so  make  the  Postern  Gate  to  bear  no  proportion  to 
the  building."  This  is  amusing  enough  as  a  magnificent  bit  of  egotism,  but 
the  plea  is  one  which  the  true  index-lover  cannot  for  a  moment  admit. 

An  index  need  not  be  dry.  There  are  instances  in  literature  where  it  is 
the  most  interesting,  nay,  delightful,  portion  of  the  book.  Take  Prynne's 
"  Histrio-Mastix."  Carlyle  rightly  refers  to  it  as  "a  book  still  extant,  but 
never  more  to  be  read  by  mortal."  Well,  many  a  mortal  might  still  find 
amusement  from  its  index.  It  is  very  evident  that  the  index,  and  perhaps 
the  index  alone,  had  been  read  by  Attorney-General  Noy.  When  engaged 
in  the  prosecution  of  Prynne  for  publishing  this  very  book,  he  pointed  out 
that  the  accused  "says  Christ  was  a  Puritan  in  his  Index."  Here  are  a  few 
amusing  extracts  from  the  same  index  : 

Crossing  of  the  face  when  men  go  to  plays  shuts  in  the  Devil. 

Devils— inventors  and  fomenters  of  stage-plays  and  dancing.  Have  stage-plays  in  hell 
every  Lord's-day  night. 

Heaven — no  stage-plays  there. 

Kings — infamous  for  them  to  act  or  frequent  Playes  or  favour  Players. 

Players — many  of  them  Papists  and  most  desperate  wicked  wretches. 

These  bits  of  wisdom,  so  lightly  and  succinctly  treated  in  the  index,  are 
weighted  down  in  the  book  itself  with  such  a  mass  of  verbiage  as  to  be  abso- 
lutely forbidding. 

Mr.  Burton,  in  his  "  Book-Hunter,"  justly  observes  that  an  expert  contro- 
versialist need  not  exhaust  himself  in  the  body  of  the  book,  but  "if  he  be 
very  skilful  he  may  let  fly  a  few  Parthian  arrows  from  the  index."  This  great 
truth  had  already  been  discovered  and  acted  upon  by  Dr.  William  King, 
whom  DTsraeli  calls  the  inventor  of  satirical  and  humorous  indexes.  Thus, 
in  his  index  to  the  famous  book  which  the  Christ  Church  wits  published 
against  Bentley's  "  Phalaris"  (1698),  we  have  reference  to  Dr.  Bentley's 
"modesty  and  decency  in  contradicting  great  men"  followed  by  the  names 
of  Plato,  Selden,  Grotius,  Erasmus,  and  ending  with  "everybody."  The  last 
entry,  "  his  profound  skill  in  criticism,"  refers  the  inquirer  "  from  beginning 
to  end." 

A  further  elaboration  of  this  idea  was  to  take  the  work  of  an  antagonist 
and  turn  it  to  ridicule  in  a  satirical  index.  This  was  not  infrequently  done 
for  political  effect,  as  in  the  case  of  William  Bromley,  a  Tory  member  of 
Parliament  who,  in  1705,  was  a  candidate  for  the  Speakership.    His  opponents 


544  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

republished  a  juvenile  book  of  travels  which  he  had  issued  twelve  years 
before  with  an  index  which  was  full  of  malicious  humor.     Thus : 

Eight  pictures  take  up  less  room  than  sixteen  of  the  same  size,  p.  14. 

February  an  ill  season  to  see  a  garden  in,  p.  53. 

Three  several  sorts  of  wine  drank  by  the  author  out  of  one  vessel,  p.  loi. 

The  English  Jesuites  Colledge  at  Rome  may  be  made  larger  than  'tis  by  uniting  other 
Buildings  to  it,  p.  132. 

The  Duchess  dowager  of  Savoy,  who  was  grandmother  to  the  present  Duke,  was  mother 
to  his  father,  p.  243. 

Dr.  Parr  had  in  his  possession  a  copy  of  this  book  so  indexed  which  had 
formerly  belonged  to  Bromley  himself.  In  it  was  the  manuscript  note,  "This 
edition  of  these  travels  is  a  specimen  of  the  good  nature  and  good  manners  of 
the  Whigs.  This  printing  of  my  book  was  a  very  malicious  proceeding ;  my 
words  and  meaning  being  very  plainly  perverted  in  several  places.  But  the 
performances  of  others  may  be  in  like  manner  exposed,  as  appears  by  the 
like  tables  published  for  the  travels  of  Bishop  Burnet  and  Mr.  Addison."  _ 

Perhaps  it  was  with  some  premonitory  anticipations  of  these  wilful  perversions 
of  the  index-maker  that  a  once  celebrated  Spaniard,  quoted  by  the  bibliogra- 
pher Nicolaus  Antonius,  held  that  the  index  of  a  book  should  be  made  by  the 
author,  even  if  the  book  itself  were  written  by  some  one  else.  Macaulay, 
too,  recognized  how  an  author's  words  can  be  turned  against  himself  when 

he  wrote  to  his  publishers,  "  Let  no  d d  Tory  make  the  Index  to  my 

History." 

Nevertheless,  if  authors  were  to  make  their  own  indexes  we  should  be 
deprived  of  many  good  stories  of  mistakes  and  misapprehensions,  which, 
however  exasperating  to  the  anxious  inquirer,  have  afforded  pleasant  food  for 
mirth  for  many  generations.  The  story  about  Mr.  Best's  great  mind  is  a 
classic.  As  usually  quoted  it  occurred  as  an  entry  in  the  index  to  Binns' 
"Justice,"  thus : 

Best,  Mr.  Justice,  his  great  mind. 

And  when  the  reader  turned   to  the  designated  page,  full  of  anticipatory 
admiration,  he  found  only  "  Mr.  Justice  Best  said  that  he  had  a  great  mind  to 
commit  the  man  for  trial."     Alas  !  the  ruthless  scientific  investigator  who  has 
deprived  us  of  William  Tell,  and  King  Alfred's  cakes,  and   Washington's 
hatchet,  could  not  allow  this  little  gem  to  escape  his  devastating  eye.    Beyond 
a  doubt  the  entry  does  not  occur  in  Binns'  "Justice."     Nobody  has  been  able 
to  find  it  elsewhere.     In  all  probability  it  is  an  anecdote  invented  out  of  the 
whole  cloth  as  a  personal  fling  against  Sir  William  Draper  Best,  Lord  Chief 
Justice  of  the  Common  Pleas  from  1824  to  1829,  and  it  is  even  said  to  have 
been  invented  by  Leigh  Hunt  and  first  published  in  the  Examitier. 
Another  classic  is  the  oft-quoted  entry, — 
Mill  on  Liberty. 
"    on  the  Floss. 

Mr.  Wheatley,  in  his  excellent  little  monograph  "What  is  an  Index.?"  as- 
sures us  that  this  is  not  an  invention,  but  actually  occurred  in  a  catalogue.  And 
he  gives  a  number  of  companion-blunders  which  are  quite  as  good. 

The  following  are  from  the  index  of  the  "Companion  to  the  Almanack" 
(London,  1643) : 

Cotton,  Sir  Willoughby. 

"         price  of. 
Old  Stratford  Bridge. 
•'    Style. 

And  the  following  are  perpetuated  in  the  indexes  to  various  editions  of 
"  Pepys's  Diary :" 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  545 

Child,  Mr. 

"       of  Hales,  the  giant. 
Court  Ladies,  masculine  attire  of  the. 

"      of  Arches. 
Fish,  method  of  preserving. 

"      Mrs. 
Lamb's  conduit. 

Scotland,  state  of. 
Yard. 

In  one  of  the  volumes  of  the  Rolls  series  there  is  a  blunder  of  a  different 
kind.  Jude  in  the  body  of  the  book  is  misprinted  Inde,  consequently  the 
"land  of  Jude,"  that  is,  Judea,  is  indexed  India,  with  the  following  extraordi- 
nary result  : 

India  .  .  .  conquered  by  Judas  Maccabeus  and  his  brethren,  56. 

A  similar  mistake  occurs  in  a  French  bibliographical  list,  where  White- 
knights,  the  former  seat  of  a  Lord  Blandford,  is  given  as  "le  Chevalier 
Blanc."  Another  foreign  book  cautiously  but  correctly  explains  that  a  learned 
society  of  the  West  Riding  is  not  a  "societe  hippique." 

Index-makers  are  often  betrayed  by  similarity  of  names,  or  by  different  ren- 
ditions of  the  same  name,  into  ludicrous  blunders.     Thus,  in  an  index  to  the 
«'  Letters  of  Sir  George  Cornewall  Lewis"  (1870)  appear  the  following  entries  : 
Mill,  John,  his  article  on  Civilization,  49.     His  Dialogue  on  Theory  and  Practice,  49.     His 
"  History  of  British  India,"  72.     His  book  on  Logic,  120,  245. 

Mill,  John  Stuart,  his  letter  to  Sir  A.  Duflf  Gordon,  referring  to  Mr.  Austm  s  article  on 
Centralization,  153. 

Evidently  in  the  index-maker's  opinion  John  Mill  and  John  Stuart  Mill  are 
two  distinct  persons.  In  revenge,  John  Mill  and  James  Mill  are  blended  into 
one.  Turning  first  to  p.  49,  we  find  Sir  George  speaking  in  disparagement 
of  a  "dialogue  on  theory  and  practice  in  the  London  Review  by  old  Mill  in 
the  character  of  Plato.  Per  contra;''  he  adds,  "  there  is  an  article  on  Civiliza- 
tion by  John  Mill  which  is  worth  reading."  There  may  arise  historians  in 
the  future  who,  on  the  joint  evidence  of  the  text  and  of  the  index,  will  con- 
struct a  theory  that  at  thirty  years  of  age  John  Mill  was  prematurely  old. 
This  identification  of  the  father  and  the  son  bears  a  certain  literary  analogy  to 
the  theological  heresy  of  the  Patripassians.  Again,  under  reference  to  Arch- 
bishop Whately  in  the  index  appears  "  His  book  of  gardening,  160."  The 
inquirer,  turning  to  page  160  for  information  about  a  book  he  has  never  heard 
of,  learns,  "  Whately,  the  author  of  the  book  on  gardening,  was  either  the 
father  or  the  uncle  of  the  Archbishop  of  Dublin."  From  text  and  index  com- 
bined it  follows  that  Archbishop  Whately  was  either  his  own  father  or  his  own 
uncle.  Extraordinary  as  these  mistakes  may  appear,  they  are  not  without 
parallel  in  our  own  and  in  foreign  literature.  Thus,  in  an  edition  of  Vape- 
reau's  "  Dictionnaire  des  Contemporains"  John  Forster  the  editor  of  the 
Examiner  is  mixed  up  with  John  Foster  the  moralist,  and  of  Francis 
Newman  we  are  told  that  his  work  on  the  "  Soul"  was  responsible  for  numer- 
ous returns  to  the  Christian  faith.  The  index  maker  who  rolled  Louis  the 
Pious  and  St.  Louis  under  one  heading  no  doubt  thought  he  had  achieved 
a  very  clever  feat  and  taught  his  author  to  be  more  careful  of  his  epithets. 
Emperors  and  Popes  are  great  snares  to  the  index-makers  ;  so  are  Ferdinands, 
Fredericks,  Henrys,— any  royal  name  which  is  to  be  found  in  more  than  one 
country. 

There  are  some  mistakes,  however,  which  are  sufficiently  venial.  In  the 
case  of  people  who  have  two  or  three  surnames,  it  is  only  natural  that  the 
index-maker  should  be  at  fault.  It  would  net  be  easy  at  a  first  attempt  to 
assign  his  proper  position  to  Edward  George  Earle  Lytton  Bulwer  Lytton,  first 
Lord  Lytton  and  a  baronet ;  and  similar  difficulties  are  suggested  by  the  names 
kk  46 


546  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

of  Robert  Harlev,  Earl  of  Oxford,  and  Horace  Walpole,  Earl  of  Orford.  The 
rule  which  most'  authorities  are  now  agreed  upon,  that  the  names  of  peers 
should  be  arranged  under  their  titles  and  not  their  family  names,  is  subject  to 
numerous  recognized  exceptions.  Though  Lord  Lytton  would  now  go  under 
Lytton,  and  the  Earl  of  Oxford  under  Oxford,  the  Earl  of  Orford  would  be 
classed  under  Walpole,  because  that  is  the  name  by  which  he  is  familiarly 
known  to  the  public.  Another  source  of  confusion  is  afforded  by  women  who 
assume  a  new  name  with  every  marriage  and  remarriage. 

A  still  more  delicate  point  is  involved  in  the  case  of  George  Eliot.  During 
the  larger  portion  of  her  authorial  life  she  was  known  as  Mrs.  Lewes  ;  but  she 
was  never  legally  Mrs.  Lewes.  Her  maiden  name  was  Mary  Ann  Evans, 
her  name  by  her  last  and  only  legal  union  was  Mrs.  Cross.  Yet,  on  the  whole, 
librarians  prefer  to  catalogue  her  as  Mrs.  Lewes. 

Cross-references  are  a  frequent  source  of  confusion  to  the  careless  or  in- 
competent. We  can  all  sympathize  with  Cobbett's  complaint  in  his  "  Wood- 
lands :"  "  Many  years  ago  I  wished  to  know  whether  I  could  raise  birch-trees 
from  the  seed.  I  then  looked  into  the  great  book  of  knowledge,  the  '  Ency- 
clopaedia Britannica :'  there  I  found  in  the  general  dictionary,— 

Birch  tree— j<f^  Betula  (Botany  Index). 
I  hastened  to  Betula  with  great  eagerness,  and  there  I  found, — 
Betula— j<?^  Birch  tree. 

That  was  all ;  and  this  was  pretty  encouragement." 

Again,  in  Eadie's  "  Dictionary  of  the  Bible"  (1850)  there  is  a  reference 
"Dorcas,  j^^  Tabitha,"  but  there  is  no  Tabitha  to  be  seen  when  one  looks 
where  she  ought  to  be. 

Cross-referencing  has  other  curiosities.  In  Hawkins's  "  Pleas  of  the  Crown 
there  are  some  most  amusing  instances  of  apparent  non  sequitiirs: 

Assault,  see  Son. 
Chastity,  see  Homicide. 
Convicts,  see  Clergy. 
Death,  see  Appeal. 
King,  see  Treason. 
Shop,  see  Burglary. 
Siclmess,  see  Bail. 

Some  index-makers  make  no  cross-references,  but  enter  the  same  subject 
under  all  its  possible  heads.  This  often  leads  to  unnecessary  duplications 
and  increases  the  bulk  of  the  index  without  corresponding  gain.  An  instance 
may  be  cited  from  the  index  to  St.  George  Mivart's  "Origin  of  Human 
Reason,"  where  a  short  story  of  a  cockatoo  appears  no  fewer  than  fifteen 

times :  ^    ,  , 

Absurd  tale  about  a  Cockatoo,  136. 
Anecdote,  absurd  one,  about  a  Cockatoo,  136. 
Bathos  and  a  Cockatoo,  136. 
Cockatoo,  absurd  tale  concerning  one,  136. 
Discourse  held  with  a  Cockatoo,  136. 
Incredibly  absurd  tale  of  a  Cockatoo,  136. 
Invalid  Cockatoo,  absurd  tale  about,  136. 

Mr.  R and  tale  about  a  Cockatoo,  136. 

Preposterous  tale  about  a  Cockatoo,  136. 
Questions  answered  by  a  Cockatoo,  136. 

R ,  Mr.,  and  tale  about  a  Cockatoo,  136. 

Rational  Cockatoo,  as  asserted,  136. 
Tale  about  a  rational  Cockatoo,  as  asserted,  136. 
Very  absurd  tale  about  a  Cockatoo,  136. 
Wonderfully  foolish  tale  about  a  Cockatoo,  136. 

In  the  card  catalogue  at  the  Public  Library  in  Boston  is  an  interesting 
entry,  "  God,  see  Fiske,  J.,"  which  reminds  one  that  the  heading  to  one  of  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES  547 

shelves  is  "  D.  The  Poor."    This  at  first  blush  sounds  like  an  echo  of  William 

K.  Vanderbilt's  phrase,  "  D the  people." 

A  tombstone  might  seem  a  strange  place  on  which  to  find  a  cross-reference. 
In  Barnes  church-yard,  England,  the  following  inscription  appears  on  the 
monument  to  a  once-famous  actor  : 

Mr.  J.  Moody, 

A  native  of  the  Parish  of  Saint  Clement  Danes 

and  an  old  member  of  Drury  Lane  Theatre. 

For  his  Memoirs  see  the  European  Magazine ;    for  his  professional  abilities  see  Churchill's 

Rosciad. 

Obiit  Dec.  26,  1812, 

Anno  iEtatis  85. 

Great  inconvenience  often  results  from  the  ignoring  of  the  important  catch- 
words to  which  readers  would  naturally  refer.  Thus,  of  the  index  to  the 
handsome  edition  of  Jewell's  "Apology"  by  Isaacson  (1825),  Mr.  Wheatley 
sweepingly  asserts,  "  I  think  I  may  say  that  there  is  hardly  an  entry  in  the 
index  that  would  be  of  any  use  to  the  consulter,"  and  he  gives  a  few  speci- 
mens : 

Belief  of  a  resurrection. 

If  Protestants  are  Heretics,  let  the  Papists  prove  them  so  from  Scripture. 
Jn  withdrawing  themselves  from  the  Church  of  Rome,  Protestants  have  not  erred  from 
Christ  and  the  Apostles. 

The  Pope  assumes  regal  power. 

He  finds  equal  reason  to  disapprove  of  the  Catalogue  of  the  British  Museum. 
"  Could  any  plan  be  adopted,"  he  asks,  "  by  which  the  following  books  would 
more  thoroughly  be  hidden  out  of  sight  than  by  the  following  arrangement  ?— 

Kind.  A  Kind  of  a  Dialogue  in  Hudibrasticks ;  designed  for  the  use  of  the  imthinking 
and  unlearned.  (1739.) 

Kinds.  How  to  make  several  kinds  of  miniature  pumps  and  a  fire-engine ;  a  book  for 
boys,     (i860.) 

And  he  also  pathetically  describes  a  vain  search  for  the  date  of  the  first 
edition  of  the  Latin  "  Gradus,"  which  eventually  turned  up  among  "  Diction- 
aries." 

Worse  than  the  neglect  of  the  proper  catch-word  is  the  total  omission  of 
the  very  things  which  ought  to  be  chronicled  in  an  index.  Paradoxical  as  it 
may  seem,  the  fact  remains  a  fact  that  it  is  the  less  important  details  which  are 
most  important  in  an  index.  The  important  topics  you  can  easily  find  with- 
out an  index.  They  belong  to  the  essential  logic  of  the  work,  therefore  you 
know  not  only  that  they  are  there,  but,  approximately,  where  to  find  them. 
Not  so  with  some  minor  point  of  detail,  some  name,  some  title,  some  minute 
fact,  some  illustrative  anecdote  or  quotation,  which,  being  embedded  in  the 
general  discussion,  may  therefore  be  anywhere.  Now,  the  mechanical  index- 
maker  too  often  argues  that  these  things  do  not  matter  to  the  main  story,  so 
they  need  not  be  in  the  index.  But  it  is  precisely  because  they  do  not  matter 
to  the  main  story  that  they  ought  to  be  put  in  the  index.  It  is  exactly  for 
the  kind  of  things  which  the  index-maker  leaves  out  that  the  index  is  really 
wanted.  The  things  which  he  puts  in  we  could  find  without  his  help.  With 
the  things  for  which  we  really  need  his  help  he  refuses  to  help  us. 

The  path  of  the  index-maker,  therefore,  is  beset  with  difficulties.  And  the 
reason  that  indexes  are  seldom  done  well  is,  that  they  are  quite  above  the 
powers  of  those  who  commonly  undertake  them,  while  they  are  thought  to 
be  beneath  the  powers  of  the  only  people  who  really  can  do  them.  Most 
people  think  that  an  index  is  a  purely  mechanical  work,  which  can  safely  be  in- 
trusted to  any  harmless  drudge.  Now,  this  idea  is  all  wrong.  Index-making 
is  no  merely  mechanical  business.  It  calls  for  careful  thought,  for  a  con- 
siderable knowledge  of  the  subject  of  the  book  indexed,  for  some  sort  of 


548  RANDY-BOOK  OF 

sympathy  not  only  with  the  author  but  with  his  readers.  A  perfect  index  can 
perhaps  be  made  only  by  the  author  himself;  even  a  tolerable  one  cannot  be 
made  except  by  one  who  has  thoroughly  familiarized  himself  with  the  author's 
matter  and  manner. 

And  as  we  have  few  perfect  indexes,  nay,  few  tolerable  ones,  we  cannot  but 
admit  the  justice  of  the  following  acrostic,  contributed  to  Notes  and  Queries, 
second  series,  i.  481  : 

I 

Never 

Did 

Ensure 

Xactness. 

Indo-European,  of  India  and  Europe,  a  term  applied  to  the  Aryan  race, 
which  was  the  parent  stock  of  both  Hindoo  and  European.  Max  Miiller 
once  said  that  the  coining  of  this  word  not  only  marked  a  new  epoch  in  the 
study  of  language,  but  ushered  in  a  new  period  in  the  history  of  the  world. 
Alien  races,  who  had  long  looked  upon  each  other  with  averted  eyes  as 
strangers  and  inferiors,  found  in  the  linguistic  bond  evidenced  by  consonants, 
vowels,  and  accents  an  intellectual  fraternity,  if  not  an  actual  genealogical 
relationship.  It  was  not  so  much  that  either  the  one  or  the  other  party  felt 
very  much  raised  in  their  own  eye?  by  this  discovery,  as  that  a  feeling  sprang 
up  between  them  that,  after  all,  they  might  be  chips  of  the  same  block.  And 
he  quotes  approvingly  from  an  American  authority,  who  affirms  that  "  the  dis- 
covery of  the  Sanskrit  language  and  literature  has  been  of  more  value  to 
England  in  the  retention  and  increase  of  her  Indian  Empire  than  an  army  of 
one  hundred  thousand  men."  Perhaps  we  may  doubt  whether  the  practical 
humanizing  effect  of  the  conclusions  of  philology  is  quite  as  great  in  over- 
coming race-prejudice  as  Max  Miiller  believes  ;  but  their  power  in  broaden- 
ing the  minds  of  men  is  certainly  very  great.  Questions  of  politics  and  states- 
manship will  hardly  be  influenced  by  linguistic  generalizations  ;  but  any  sense 
of  the  antiquity  of  our  Aryan  relationships  ought  to  give  us  a  fuller  sympathy 
with  the  other  civilizations  of  our  stock,  and  a  sounder  foundation  for  our 
respect  for  those  of  our  own  Germanic  branch. 

Indulgence,  in  the  terminology  of  the  Roman  Catholic  Church,  does  not 
mean,  as  many  imagine,  a  permission  to  commit  sin,  or  the  purchase  of  for- 
giveness for  sins  committed.  It  is  taken  from  Roman  jurisprudence,  where  in- 
dulgentia,  meaning  graciousness,  is  used  as  the  opposite  of  severitas.  A  parent, 
a  creditor,  or  a  magistrate  shows  indulgence  when  he  mitigates  or  remits  a  fine 
or  punishment.  That  is  all.  In  the  Catholic  Church  an  indulgence  is  not  the 
pardon  of  sin,  but  the  remission  or  mitigation  of  ecclesiastical  penalties.  It 
is  never  exercised  save  towards  the  penitent  whose  sin  has  been  forgiven. 
Indulgences  came  up  in  the  early  Church,  when  persons  had  to  be  dealt  with 
who  had  renounced  the  Christian  religion  and  then  asked  for  reinstatement 
in  the  Church.  Among  the  first  indulgences  in  the  Christian  Church  is  St. 
Paul's  (II.  Cor.  ii.  6-1 1)  towards  the  sinner  at  Corinth  (I.  Cor.  v.).  Such 
kindness  towards  a  repenting  sinner  was  called  philanthropy,  a  term  used 
repeatedly  in  the  New  Testament  and  also  at  the  council  at  Ancyra  (the 
modern  Angora  in  Asia  Minor),  A.D.  314,  where  bishops  were  authorized  to 
mitigate  the  length  of  an  offender's  jDenitence,  this  act  being  called  philanthrop- 
ing.  The  schoolmen  tried  to  find  a  working  theory  for  such  clemency,  by 
assuming  that  the  Church  could  administer  the  treasure  of  good  works  accu- 
mulated by  the  saints  and  by  the  founder  of  the  Christian  religion.  Christ, 
so  they  taught,  had  done  more  than  to  satisfy  for  all  sins  of  repentant  man- 
kind, and  the  excess  of  his  work  could  be  applied  to  the  benefit  of  penitent 
sinners.     In  the  same  way  many  saints,  through  works  of  supererogation,  had 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  549 

done  more  than  vindicate  their  right  to  heaven,  and  the  balance  due  them  lay 
in  the  ecclesiastical  treasury,  ready  to  be  applied  to  the  sufferers  in  purgatory 
or  the  repentant  on  earth.  This  theory  is  offered  by  Albertus  Magnus  and 
St.  Thomas  Aquinas.  The  Protestant  Church  rejected  the  theory,  but  in 
practice  retained  the  exercise  of  indulgences,  precisely  as  parents,  teachers, 
employers,  creditors,  judges,  and  heads  of  government  practise  indulgence, 
either  by  mitigating  a  sentence  or  by  its  entire  remission.  The  Catholic 
Church,  on  the  other  hand,  affirmed  at  the  Council  of  Trent  (sess.  xxv.,  ch. 
21,  s.  53S)  that  it  had  the  right  to  grant  indulgences,  that  they  are  "most 
salutary,"  that  they  are  to  be  retained,  and  that  those  are  anathema  who 
affirm  them  to  be  useless.  The  people  at  large,  even  many  in  the  Catholic 
Church,  have  frequently  misunderstood  the  nature  of  indulgences,  and  many 
Catholic  agents  have  scandalously  abused  the  privilege.  The  official  doctrine 
of  the  modern  Catholic  Church  is  simply  this,  that  it  may  exercise  clemency 
towards  the  penitent  whose  sins  are  forgiven,  and  that  the  privilege  of  granting 
indulgences  is  vested  in  the  Pope,  not  in  the  bishops,  and  still  less  in  the  priests. 

Influence.  In  American  current  phrase,  to  have  political  influence  is  to 
have  power  to  secure  appointment  to  public  office,  or  by  hugger-mugger  to 
be  able  to  secure  favors  from  legislative  and  other  public  functionaries  and 
from  organized  political  parties.  The  ward'boss,  in  the  words  of  his  heelers, 
has  "iniiooence." 

Inn.  To  many  writers,  an  inn  appears  to  be  the  ideal  of  comfort  and 
happiness.  Indeed,  Dr.  Johnson  expressly  called  a  tavern-chair  "  the  throne 
of  human  felicity,"  and  declared  that  nothing  that  had  been  contrived  by  man 
had  produced  so  much  happiness  as  a  good  tavern  or  inn.  (Boswell  :  Life, 
1776.)  Falstaff  asks,  "Shall  I  not  take  mine  ease  in  mine  inn.?"  {Henry  I'V., 
Fart  I.,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  2), — which  seems  to  have  been  a  proverbial  saying,  for 
in  Heywood's  "  Proverbs"  we  find  the  line, — 

Let  the  world  wagge,  and  take  mine  ease  in  mine  inne. 

A  very  curious  coincidence  is  worth  noting.  Miss  Reynolds  inforrns  us 
that  while  Johnson  was  reciting  Shenstone's  poem  "The  Sun"  he  slipped 
in  the  following  extempore  lines  : 

And  once  again  I  shape  my  way 

Through  rain,  through  shine,  through  thick  and  thin. 

Secure  to  meet  at  close  of  day 
A  kind  reception  at  an  inn. 

Kecollections. 

Now,  before  Johnson,  Shenstone  himself  had  written  on  the  window  of  an 
inn  at  Henley, — 

Whoe'er  has  travelled  life's  dull  round. 

Where'er  his  stages  may  have  been. 
May  sigh  to  think  he  still  has  found 

The  warmest  welcome  at  an  inn. 

But  Cato  the  Censor  (B.C.  234-149)  looked  upon  an  inn  as  a  poor  substi- 
tute for  a  home,  if  we  may  judge  inferentially  from  his  comparison,  "Man 
must  depart  from  life  as  from  an  inn,  not  as  from  a  dwelling."  Later  writers 
have  adopted  and  amplified  the  comparison  : 

Like  pilgrims  to  th'  appointed  place  we  tend  : 
The  world's  an  inn,  and  death  the  journey's  end. 

Dryden  :  Palamon  andArcite,  iii.  887. 

In  Heaven  is  our  home,  in  the  world  is  our  inn  :  do  not  so  entertain  yourself  in  the  inn  of 
this  world  for  a  day  as  to  have  thy  mind  withdrawn  from  longings  after  the  heavenly  home. 
^Gerhard  :  Meditations ,  xxviii. 


S50  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Our  life  is  nothing  but  a  winter's  day  : 
Some  only  break  their  fast,  and  so  away  : 
Others  stay  dinner  and  depart  full-fed  : 
The  deepest  age  but  sups  and  goes  to  bed  : 
He's  most  in  debt  that  lingers  out  the  day  : 
Who  dies  betimes  has  less  and  less  to  pay. 

Francis  Quakles:  Divine  Fancies  {\(sy;^. 

The  verses  of  Quarles  have  passed  into  church-yard  literature,  and,  varied, 
amplified,  and  paraphrased,  appear  on  numerous  English  tombstones.  Here 
is  an  example  from  Barnwell  church-yard,  near  Cambridge,  England : 

Man's  life  is  like  a  winter's  day. 

Some  only  breakfast  and  away  ; 

Others  to  dinner  stay  and  are  full-fed, 

The  oldest  man  but  sups  and  goes  to  bed. 

Large  is  his  debt  who  lingers  out  the  day. 

Who  goes  the  soonest  has  the  least  to  pay; 

Death  is  the  waiter,  some  few  run  on  tick, 

But  some,  alas  !  must  pay  the  bill  to  Nick ! 

Though  I  owed  much,  I  hope  long  trust  is  given. 

And  truly  mean  to  pay  my  debts  in  heaven. 

Innocuous  desuetude.  On  January  28,  1886,  President  Cleveland, 
through  Attorney-General  Garland,  refused  to  transmit  to  the  Senate,  in 
executive  session,  the  papers  with  reference  to  certain  suspensions  from  office 
made  during  a  recess  of  the  Senate.  On  February  18,  resolutions  were 
presented  in  the  Senate  by  the  Republicans  censuring  the  Attorney-General 
for  refusing  to  give  information  as  to  the  suspensions,  and  announcing  that  it 
would  not  confirm  persons  nominated  to  succeed  suspended  officials  where 
the  reasons  for  suspension  were  not  given.  The  Republicans  based  their 
action  mainly  on  an  Act  of  Congress,  passed  in  1867,  which  provided  that 
"in  cases  of  suspension  from  office  during  a  recess  of  the  Senate,  the  Presi- 
dent should  report,  within  twenty  days  after  the  next  meeting  of  the  Senate, 
such  suspension,  with  the  evidence  and  reasons  for  his  action  in  the  case." 
President  Cleveland  stood  by  his  Attorney-General,  and  in  a  message  to  the 
Senate,  March  i,  18S6,  he  argued  that  the  Constitution  gives  to  the  President 
the  sole  right  of  removal  or  suspension,  and  that  he  is  responsible  to  the 
people  alone,  that  those  sections  of  the  Tenure  of  Office  Act  which  directed 
the  President  to  report  to  the  Senate  his  reasons  for  suspension  had  been 
repealed,  or  had  become  obsolete  : 

And  so  it  happens  that  after  an  existence  of  nearly  twenty  years  of  an  almost  innocuous 
desuetude  these  laws  are  brought  forth,  apparently  the  repealed  as  well  as  the  unrepealed, 
and  put  in  the  way  of  an  executive  who  is  willing,  if  permitted,  to  attempt  an  improvement 
in  the  methods  of  admir' -- 


The  words  "  innocuous  desuetude"  were  caught  up  by  the  newspapers, 
imitated,  burlesqued,  and  ridiculed. 

Ins  and  Outs,  i.e.,  those  who  are  in  power  and  in  possession  of  the  politi- 
cal offices,  and  those  who  are  not  but  would  like  to  be.  The  words  are  more 
definite  and  distinctive  of  the  real  difference  between  opposing  factions  of 
political  partisans  than  ordinary  party  names,  which  latter  often  stand  for  cer- 
tain sets  of  political  principles  and  convictions,  at  one  time  or  in  one  State, 
and  something  quite  different  at  or  in  another. 

Inside  track,  in  politics,  as  on  the  race-course,  the  shortest  route  to 
victory.     Sometimes  used  synonymously  with  "influence"  {q.  v.). 

Institution.  "The  institution"  was  a  common  euphemism  for  slavery  in 
America. 

I  am  not  going  into  the  slavery  question.  I  am  not  an  advocate  for  "  the  institution."— 
Thackeray  :  Roundabout  Papers,  No.  17. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  551 

Insult  and  Injury.  In  his  fable  of  "  The  Bald  Man  and  the  Gnat," 
Phasdrus  relates  how  a  bald  man  seeking  to  crush  a  gnat  that  had  settled  upon 
his  pate  only  succeeded  in  striking  himself  a  heavy  blow.  The  gnat  jeeringly 
said,  "You  wanted  to  revenge  the  sting  of  a  tiny  insect  with  death  :  what  will 
you  do  to  yourself,  who  have  added  insult  to  injury  ?" 

("  Quid  facies  tibi, 
Injurise  qui  addideris  contumeliam  ?") 

International.  This  word  is  the  invention  of  Jeremy  Bentham.  It  seems 
now  almost  inconceivable  how  the  world  could  get  along  without  it.  "The 
word  international  introduced  by  the  immortal  Bentham,  and  Mr.  Carlyle's 
gigmanity,"  says  Hall  {Modern  English,  p.  19),  "are  significantly  character- 
istic of  the  utilitarian  philanthropist  and  the  futilitarian  misanthropist  respec- 
tively." 

The  following  is  the  paragraph  in  which  the  word  made  its  first  appearance  : 

With  regard  to  the  political  quality  of  the  persons  whose  conduct  is  the  object  of  law. 
These  may,  on  any  given  occasion,  be  considered  either  as  members  of  the  same  state,  or  as 
members  of  different  states ;  in  the  first  case  the  law  may  be  referred  to  the  head  of  in- 
ternal, in  the  second  case  to  that  of  international,  jurisprudence.  The  word  international,  it 
must  be  acknowledged,  is  a  new  one,  though,  it  is  hoped,  sufficiently  analogous  and  intelli- 
gible. It  is  calculated  to  express,  in  a  more  significant  way,  the  branch  of  law  which  goes 
under  the  name  of  the  law  of  nations, — an  appellation  so  uncharacteristic  that,  were  it  not  for 
the  force  of  custom,  it  would  seem  rather  to  refer  to  internal  jurisprudence.  The  Chancellor 
d'Aguesseau  has  already  made,  I  find,  a  similar  remark  ;  he  says  that  what  is  commonly 
called  droit  desgens  ought  rather  to  be  termed  droit  entre  les  gens. — Bentham  :  Introduction 
to  Principles  of  Morals. 

Interrupted  sentences.  "  How  you  frighted  me  !"  cried  Lamb  in  a 
letter  to  Thomas  Allsop  in  the  summer  of  1829.  "Never  write  again  'Cole- 
ridge is  dead'  at  the  end  of  a  line  and  tamely  come  in  'to  his  friends'  at  the 
beginning  of  another.  Love  is  quicker,  and  fear  from  love,  than  the  transi- 
tion ocular  from  line  to  line."  Allsop's  offence  was  doubtless  unintentional. 
Yet  many  wags  have  of  malice  prepense  adopted  this  method  of  raising  the 
expectations,  hopes,  or  fears  of  the  party  addressed,  to  dash  them  to  earth 
again  the  next  moment  with  a  laugh.  Lord  Erskine,  for  example,  was  in  the 
habit  of  making  a  very  effective  pause  in  all  letters  replying  to  solicitations  for 
subscriptions.  He  wrote,  "  Sir, — I  feel  much  honored  by  your  application  to 
me,  and  I  beg  to  subscribe" — here  the  reader  had  to  turn  over  the  leaf — 
"myself  your  very  obedient  servant,"  etc. 

One  of  the  best  instances  of  this  form  of  pause  occurred  in  a  letter  received 
by  a  popular  physician.  This  gentleman  was  pleased  with  a  certain  aerated 
water,  and  by  his  assiduous  recommendations  procured  for  it  a  celebrity  it 
justly  deserved.  The  doctor  acted  solely  in  the  interests  of  humanity  gen- 
erally, and  expected  no  return.  To  his  surprise,  there  came  one  morning  an 
effusive  letter  from  the  company,  saying  that  his  recommendations  had  done 

them  so  much  good  that  they  "ventured  to  send  him  a  hundred "     Here 

the  page  came  to  an  end.  "This  will  never  do,"  said  the  doctor  ;  "it  is  very 
kind,  but  I  could  not  think  of  accepting  anything."  He  turned  the  page,  and 
found  the  sentence  ran — "of  our  circulars  for  distribution." 

Much  more  satisfactory  to  the  recipient  was  Lord  Eldon's  note  to  his  friend 
Dr.  Fisher,  of  the  Charterhouse:  "Dear  Fisher, — I  cannot  to-day  give  you 
the  preferment  for  which  you  ask.  Your  sincere  friend,  Eldon.  ( Turn  over.) 
I  gave  it  to  you  yesterday." 

Dean  Swift  could  not  have  concocted  a  more  bitter  joke  than  that  of  the 
testator  who,  after  citing  the  obligations  he  was  under  to  a  particular  friend, 
bequeathed  to  him,  at  the  bottom  of  the  first  page  of  his  will,  ten  thousand — 
dollars,  of  course,  thought  the  delighted  legatee ;  but  on  turning  the  leaf  the 


552  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

bequest  was  discovered  to  be  ten  thousand  thanks.  What  a  wet  blanket  for 
"great  expectations" ! 

An  amusing  story  of  a  similar  kind  is  told  of  a  lady,  a  Roman  Catholic, 
who  in  her  last  illness  promised  the  priest  to  leave  him  a  sum  of  money  for 
charitable  uses.     When  she  was  dying,  she  begged  the  priest  to  come  nearer 

to  the  bedside,  and  gasped  out,  "  Father — I've — given — you "    "  Stay,"  said 

the  priest,  anxious  to  have  as  many  witnesses  as  possible  to  the  expected 
statement,  "I  will  call  in  the  family;"  and,  opening  the  door,  he  beckoned 
them  all  in.  "  I've  given  you,"  repeated  the  old  lady,  with  increasing  difficulty, 
— "given — you — a  great  deal  of  trouble." 

This  incident  may  remind  the  reader  of  a  passage  in  one  of  Lord  Boling- 
broke's  letters,  in  which,  writing  to  a  friend,  he  says,  "  I  am  very  sorry  my 
Lord  Marlborough  gives  you  so  much  trouble.  It  is  the  only  thing  he  will 
give  you." 

A  wife  gave  her  husband  a  sealed  letter,  begging  him  not  to  open  it  till  he 
got  to  his  place  of  business.     When  he  did  so,  he  read, — 

"  I  am  forced  to  tell  you  something  that  I  know  will  trouble  you,  but  it  is 
my  duty  to  do  so.  I  am  determined  you  shall  know  it,  let  the  result  be  what 
it  may.  I  have  known  for  a  week  that  it  was  coming,  but  kept  it  to  myself 
until  to-day,  when  it  has  reached  a  crisis,  and  I  cannot  keep  it  any  longer. 
You  must  not  censure  me  too  harshly,  for  you  must  reap  the  results  as  well  as 
myself.     I  do  hope  it  won't  crush  you." 

Here  he  turned  the  page,  his  hair  slowly  rising. 

"The  coal  is  all  used  up!  Please  call  and  ask  for  some  to  be  sent  this 
afternoon.     I  thought  by  this  method  you  would  not  forget  it." 

He  didn't. 

At  the  New  York  Chautauqua  Assembly  in  the  summer  of  1889,  when  Dr. 
Henson,  of  Chicago,  came  to  lecture  on  "Fools,"  Bishop  Vincent  introduced 
him  thus  :  "  Ladies  and  gentlemen,  we  are  now  to  have  a  lecture  on  '  Fools,' 
by  one  of  the  most  distinguished" — long  pause  and  loud  laughter — "men  of 
Chicago."  Dr.  Henson,  whose  readiness  of  wit  holds  every  emergency  captive, 
began  his  lecture,  when  silence  was  at  length  restored,  by  saying,  "  Ladies 
and  gentlemen,  I  am  not  as  great  a  fool  as  Bishop  Vincent" — long  pause  and 
uproarious  laughter — "  would  have  you  think." 

The  value  of  an  explanation  is  finely  illustrated  in  the  old  story  of  a  king 
who  sent   to  another  king,  saying,  "  Send  me  a  blue  pig  with  a  black  tail,  or 

else "     The  other,  in  high  dudgeon  at  the  presumed  insult,  replied,  "  I 

have  not  got  one,  and  if  I  had "     On  this  weighty  cause  they  went  to  war 

for  many  years.  After  a  satiety  of  glories  and  miseries,  they  finally  bethought 
them  that,  as  their  armies  and  resources  were  exhausted  and  their  kingdoms 
mutually  laid  waste,  it  might  be  well  enough  to  consult  about  the  prelimi- 
naries of  peace.  Before  this  could  be  concluded,  a  diplomatic  explanation 
was  first  needed  of  the  insulting  language  which  formed  the  ground  of  the 
quarrel.     "What  could  you  mean,"  said  the  second  king  to  the  first,  "by 

saying,  '  Send  me  a  blue  pig  with  a  black  tail,  or  else '  ?"     "  Why,"  said 

the  other,  "  I  meant  a  blue  pig  with  a  black  tail,  or  else  some  other  color. 
But,"  he   continued,  "  what  did  you  mean  by  saying,  '  I  have   not  got  one, 

and  if  I  had '  ?"     "Why,  of  course,  if  I  had,   I  should   have   sent  it." 

The  explanation  was  entirely  satisfactory,  and  peace  was  concluded  accord- 
ingly. 

In  its  obituary  notice  of  the  Rev.  Charles  Spurgeon  a  Washington  paper 
repeated  and  attributed  to  that  clergyman  a  very  ancient  gag.     The  story  ran 

that  one  warm  summer  day  he  began  his  sermon  with  the  words  "  It's  a  d d 

hot  day,"  and  when  he  had  electrified  his  audience  out  of  all  actual  or  poten- 
tial somnolence  he  blandly  added,  "as  I  heard  a  somewhat  irreverent  young 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  553 

man  say  at  the  door-step,"  and  then  went  on  to  preach  against  the  sin  of  levity 
and  bhisphemy.  The  same  story  has  also  been  fathered  upon  Beecher.  A 
correspondent  of  the  paper  forthwith  wrote  to  show  what  an  ancient  and 
peripatetic  rounder  the  story  is  : 

In  1848,  the  year  before  Mr.  Spurgeon  entered  the  pulpit  as  a  "  boy  preacher,"  I  was  the 
youngest  apprentice  in  a  printing-office,  the  foreman  of  which  used  to  repeat  a  story  exactly 
identical  with  the  above,  except  that  he  laid  it  to  the  charge  of  a  minister  who  had  labored 
and  died  in  Erie,  Pennsylvania,  years  before,  when  the  foreman  was  a  boy.  Twenty  years 
later  the  story  was  revived,  with  Henry  Ward  Beecher's  name  in  it.  After  it  had  gone  the 
rounds  several  years  in  the  face  of  explicit  denials,  I  mentioned  to  Mr.  Beecher  my  first  ac- 
quaintance with  the  story,  under  circumstances  which  carried  it  back  to  a  period  before  his 
birth.  He  smilingly  replied  that  he  was  tired  of  denying  the  truth  of  the  story  as  applied  to 
himself,  and  felt  compelled  to  let  it  run.  And  now  that  same  old  lie  comes  to  the  surface 
again,  with  Mr.  Spurgeon  as  the  principal  actor;  it  will  never  die.  In  the  dim  future,  when 
some  dusky  scholar  from  Central  Africi  sits  upon  the  crumbling  arches  of  the  Congressional 
Library  and  views  the  ruins  of  the  Capitol,  it  will  still  be  in  circulation,  modified  only  by 
inserting  the  name  of  the  latest  renowned  preacher. 

An  equally  ancient  chestnut  is  attributed  to  Spurgeon  by  the  Rev.  Mr. 
Haweis,  who  says  that  once,  in  the  middle  of  his  sermon,  the  preacher  shouted 
out,  "  What's  that  thee  says,  Paul,  '  I  can  do  all  things'  ?  I'll  bet  thee  half  a 
crown  o'  that."  So  the  preacher  took  out  half  a  crown  and  put  it  on  the 
Bible.  "  However,"  he  continued,  "  let's  see  what  the  apostle  has  to  say  for 
himself."  So  he  read  on,  "'through  Christ  that  strengtheneth  me.'  Oh," 
says  he,  "if  that's  the  terms  of  the  bet  I'm  off!"  and  he  put  the  half-crown 
back  into  his  pocket.  The  same  story  had  already  been  told  of  Rev.  Rowland 
Hill. 

A  good  story  is  told  of  a  cantankerous  Kentucky  Hard-Shell  who  read  from 

Revelation,  "  And  there  appeared  a  great  wonder  in  heaven  :    a  woman " 

Pausing  here,  he  added,  "  Yes,  John,  it  was  a  wonder  if  there  was  a  woman 
there.     It  was  the  first  one  and  the  last  one  as'll  ever  get  there." 

And  here  is  another  good  old  chestnut  that  every  now  and  then  bobs  up 
again  from  out  of  the  waters  of  oblivion  :  An  old  preacher,  after  service  on 
Sunday,  announced  his  reading  for  the  following  Sabbath.  During  the  week 
some  mischievous  boys  managed  to  paste  together  two  of  the  leaves  of  his 
Bible  just  where  he  was  to  read.  So  on  Sunday  the  minister  read  as  follows  : 
"  And  Noah  took  unto  himself  a  wife  who  was" —  and  here  he  turned  the  leaf — 
"forty  cubits  broad,  one  hundred  and  forty  cubits  long."  With  a  look  of 
astonishment  he  wiped  his  glasses,  re-read  and  verified  the  passage,  and  then 
said,  "  My  friends,  although  I  have  read  the  Bible  many  times,  this  is  the 
first  time  I  have  ever  seen  this  jjassage,  but  I  take  it  as  another  evidence  of 
the  fact  that  man  is  most  fearfully  and  wonderfully  made." 

Lord  Palmerston  once  made  use  of  some  very  effective  pauses  which  he 
could  not  have  prepared  beforehand.  While  electioneering  at  Taunton  he 
was  greatly  troubled  by  a  butcher  who  wanted  him  to  support  a  certain  Radical 
policy.     At  the  end  of  one  of  his  lordship's  speeches  the  butcher  called  out, — • 

"  Lord  Palmerston,  will  you  give  me  a  plain  answer  to  a  plain  question  ?" 

"I  will." 

"  Will  you,  or  will  you  not  support  this  measure, — a  Radical  bill  ?" 

Lord  Palmerston  hesitated,  and  then,  with  a  twinkle  in  his  eye,  replied, 
"  I  will" —  he  stopped  (tremendous  Radical  cheers) — "  not" — continued  his 
lordship  (another  stop  and  loud  Conservative  applause) — "  tell  you."  Whereat 
he  immediately  retired. 

A  certain  Mr.  Martin,  member  of  the  House  of  Commons,  had  a  reputa- 
tion for  wit  which  survives  in  only  a  single  example.  He  had  delivered  a 
furious  invective  against  Sir  Harry  Vane,  and  when  he  had  buried  him  under 

a  load  of  sarcasm,  he  said,  "  But  as  for  young  Sir  Harry  Vane "  and  so  sat 

down.     The  House  was  astounded.     Several  members  exclaimed, — 
Y  47 


554  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

"  What  have  you  to  say  against  young  Sir  Harry  ?" 

Martin  at  once  rose,  and  added,  "  Why,  if  young  Sir  Harry  lives  to  be  old 
he  will  be  old  Sir  Harry." 

A  memorable  scene  in  the  same  house  was  that  when  Disraeli's  maiden  speech 
was  cut  short  by  his  fellow-members.  Here  is  the  Alorning  Chronicle's  report 
of  ikv&  fxisco:  '"Notwithstanding  the  noble  lord,  secure  on  the  pedestal  of 
power,  may  wield  in  one  hand  the  keys  of  St.  Peter,  and '  Here  the  honor- 
able member  was  interrujited  with  such  loud  and  incessant  bursts  of  laughter 
that  it  was  impossible  to  know  whether  he  really  closed  his  sentence  or  not." 
Richard  Monckton  Milnes  (afterwards  Lord  Houghton),  who  was  sitting  be- 
side Disraeli,  and,  when  the  latter  muttered,  "The  time  will  come  when  you 
will  hear  me,"  replied,  "Yes,  old  fellow,  so  it  will," — Milnes  wrote  in  a  letter 
that  the  Attorney-General  had  the  impudence,  not  knowing  Disraeli  person- 
ally, to  go  up  to  him  in  the  lobby  and  say,  "A  very  pleasant  speech  of  yours, 
Mr.  Disraeli.  Will  you  be  kind  enough  to  tell  me  what  Lord  John  held 
besides  the  keys  of  St.  Peter .''"     "The  red  cap  of  liberty,  sir." 

IntervieviT,  a  feature  of  modern  journalism  of  distinctly  American  in- 
vention, and  still  flourishing  most  vigorously  in  its  native  soil,  but  not  un- 
known in  England,  while  in  France  it  has  almost  acclimated  itself  under  the 
delightful  name  of  interviewee.  Mr.  James  Redpath,  the  historian,  used  to 
claim  that  he  was  the  original  interviewer.  "  I  started  the  practice  of  inter- 
viewing many  years  ago,"  he  remarked  to  a  reporter  of  the  New  York  Evening 
Telegram,  yx^X.  before  his  death,  "  in  the  columns  of  the  Boston  Advertiser. 
My  first  interview  was  widely  discussed,  and  my  plan  was  immediately  imitated 
by  Editor  Dana,  of  the  Sicn,  who,  the  day  after  my  interview  appeared,  sent 
out  a  corps  of  writers  to  interview  the  leading  men  of  the  day  on  various 
topics."  Mr.  Hudson,  however,  in  his  "  History  of  American  Journalism," 
says  the  practice  was  commenced  by  the  New  York  Herald  in  1859,  at  the 
time  of  the  John  Brown  raid  at  Harper's  Ferry.  This  authority  does  not 
mention  the  name  of  the  original  interviewer,  but  he  says  that  the  first  inter- 
viewee (readers  will  please  not  confound  this  with  the  Franco-English  word) 
was  Gerrit  Smith,  the  well-known  Abolitionist,  who  was  called  upon  at  his 
home  in  Peterborough  by  a  representative  of  the  Herald.  The  interview 
was  published  in  full  in  conversational  style,  and  created  a  sensation.  "  It 
was  the  origin  of  interviewing.  Interviews  were  had  on  the  eve  of  the  rebel- 
lion, in  i860,  with  leading  rebels  at  their  homes, — one,  in  particular,  between 
Alexander  H.  Stephens  and  Robert  Toombs  and  a  special  correspondent  of 
the  Herald,  with  entertaining  and  instructive  results."  After  the  war  they 
were  continued  with  leading  statesmen,  army  and  navy  officers,  and  politi- 
cians. 

But  all  this  was  in  a  staccato  and  amateurish  sort  of  way.  As  a  regular 
institution,  as  part  of  the  reportorial  profession,  the  interview  seems  to  date 
from  about  1S68.  This  was  probably  the  period  Mr.  Redpath  had  in  mind 
when  he  claimed  to  be  the  original  interviewer.  At  that  time  the  two  most 
interesting  figures  in  American  political  life,  from  the  point  of  view  of  the 
reporter,  were  Charles  Sumner  and  General  Butler.  Both  were  willing  to 
talk,  the  former  on  the  Alabama  question,  the  latter  on  his  Greenback  crusade. 
The  public  was  eager  to  hear  from  both.  And  so  day  after  day  they  were 
interviewed.  The  politicians  all  over  the  land  were  agog  at  this  new  pulpit 
opened  for  their  occupancy.  Quick  to  see  the  advantages  of  the  system,  they 
coyly  requested  to  be  interviewed  also.  Whenever  a  candidate  came  up  for 
office,  whenever  a  politician  wished  to  call  attention  to  himself,  to  explain  some 
scandal  that  had  attached  to  him,  to  boom  a  political  project  in  which  he  was 
interested,  he  always  managed  to  get  himself  interviewed.  Abuses  crept  in. 
As  the  New  York  Nation  observed,  June  28, 1869,  "  The  interview  as  at  present 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  555 

managed  is  generally  the  joint  production  of  some  humbug  of  a  hack  politician 
and  another  humbug  of  a  newspaper  reporter.  The  one  lives  by  being  noto- 
rious, and  the  other  by  seeking  out  notorieties  and  being  spicy, — by  stringing 
together  personalities  about  them.  Sometimes,  of  course,  it  happens  that 
the  opinions  given  are  those  of  an  able  and  respectable  man,  but  this  is  very 
rare,  and  it  is  still  rarer  that  when  this  does  happen  they  have  been  honestly 
learned  by  the  person  who  gives  them  to  the  press.  Usually  he  has  made  a 
rascally  use  of  a  chance  opportunity,  or  in  some  indirect  manner  has  learned 
what  So-and-so  has  said  among  his  friends,  and  this  he  puts  down,  mixed 
with  other  matters,  as  having  been  said  to  himself."  There  was  a  good  deal 
of  truth  in  the  Natioiis  charges.  Yet  the  general  tone  of  the  article  was  too 
despondent.  Abuses  existed,  as  we  have  said,  indeed,  they  still  exist,  yet  the 
interview  has,  on  the  whole,  vindicated  its  right  to  existence.  One  may  per- 
haps assume  a  tacit  recognition  of  this  fact  in  the  answer  which  the  Nation 
itself,  nearly  fifteen  years  afterwards,  made  to  the  strictures  of  the  London 
press  on  this  very  subject.  "The  attitude  of  the  English  newspapers  towards 
'interviews'  is  a  curiously  contradictory  one,"  says  the  N'ation  of  November 
29, 1883.  "  When  interviewing  began  to  be  a  regular  enterprise  a  few  years  ago, 
the  English  leader-writers  denounced  it  as  the  most  dreadful  form  which 
American  impertinence  had  yet  assumed.  They  continue  to  denounce  it  in 
much  the  same  terms  now,  but,  strangely  enough,  they  ignore  the  actual  pres- 
ence of  the  interview  in  their  own  columns.  All  the  leading  London  papers 
employ  American  correspondents,  who  send  daily  despatches  concerning  all 
important  American  events,  and  their  longest  despatches  are  nearly  always 
interviews  with  illustrious  Englishmen  who  are  visiting  this  country.  It  has 
frequently  happened  that  a  London  journal  has  contained  on  the  same  day  a 
leading  article  denouncing  interviewing,  and  a  column  cable  message,  costing 
several  hundred  dollars,  which  was  an  interview  pure  and  simple."  And  then 
it  tells  the  story  of  how  a  London  journal  published  a  long  cable  despatch, 
reproducing  the  substance  of  an  interview  with  Herbert  Spencer  in  New 
York,  and  simultaneously  a  scathing  leader  condemning  the  irrepressible  im- 
pertinence with  which  Mr.  Spencer  had  been  worried  during  his  entire  visit 
in  America,  until  he  had  been  forced  to  give  his  views  in  order  to  obtain 
peace.  The  plain  truth  is  that,  instead  of  being  worried  into  an  interview,  Mr; 
Spencer  prepared  it  himself  and  sent  it  through  a  friend  to  all  the  New  York 
newspapers  for  simultaneous  publication.  Other  foreign  visitors  have  taken 
to  the  interviewing  system  with  equal  favor. 

There  is  Max  O'Rell,  for  example.  One  of  the  most  genial  and  amusing 
chapters  in  "Jonathan  and  his  Continent"  is  that  on  the  interview.  He  ac- 
knowledges that  he  found  it  something  of  an  ordeal.  But  the  humor  of  the 
situation  and  the  cleverness  of  his  interviewers  prevented  it  from  becoming 
annoying.  Even  before  sailing  he  had  received  a  cable  from  an  enterprising 
journal  asking  him  for  his  preconceived  ideas  of  America.  His  ship  had 
hardly  entered  the  harbor  of  New  York  when  it  was  boarded  by  a  boat-load 
of  reporters.  They  asked  him  questions,  they  took  his  portrait.  Finally,  he 
put  them  off  till  the  afternoon. 

"Oh,  that  first  afternoon  in  New  York,  spent  in  the  company  of  the  inter- 
viewers !"  he  cries.     "  I  shall  never  forget  it !" 

Bored  at  first,  he  soon  began  to  be  amused.  "  One  wanted  biographical 
details,  another  the  origin  of  my  pseudonyme.  One  wished  to  know  if  I 
worked  in  the  morning,  the  afternoon,  or  the  evening  ;  another  whether  I 
worked  sitting  or  standing  up,  and  also  whether  I  used  ruled  paper  and  quill 
pens.  One  reporter  asked  me  if  I  thought  in  English  or  in  French,  another 
whether  General  Boulanger  had  any  chance  of  soon  being  elected  President 
of  the  French  Republic.     If  I  crossed  my  legs  during  the  conversation,  if  I 


5S^  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

took  off  my  glasses,  nothing  escaped  these  journalists  ;  everything  was  jotted 
down. 

"  The  questions  they  asked  really  appeared  to  me  so  commonplace,  so  trivial, 
that  I  was  almost  ashamed  to  think  I  was  the  hero  of  this  little  farce. 

"  With  the  idea  of  giving  them  something  better  worth  writing,  I  launched 
into  anecdotes,  and  told  a  few  to  these  interviewers. 

"This  brought  about  a  little  scene  which  was  quite  comic.  If  I  looked  at 
one  reporter  a  little  oftener  than  the  rest,  while  I  told  an  anecdote,  he  would 
turn  to  his  brethren,  and  say, — 

" '  This  story  is  for  my  paper,  you  have  no  right  to  take  it  down  ;  it  was  told 
especially  to  me.' 

" '  Not  at  all,'  would  cry  the  others,  '  it  was  told  to  all  of  us.' 

"  In  spite  of  this,  the  harmony  of  the  meeting  was  not  disturbed,  and  it  was 
easy  to  see  that  an  excellent  spirit  of  fellowship  prevailed  in  the  fraternity. 

"  With  the  exception  of  a  phrase  or  two,  occasionally  jotted  down,  they  took 
no  notes  of  my  answers  to  their  questions,  and  I  wondered  how  it  was  possi- 
ble that,  with  so  few  notes,  they  would  manage  to  make  an  article  of  a  hun- 
dred or  two  hundred  lines  that  would  be  acceptable  in  an  important  paper, 
out  of  an  interview  so  insignificant  and  so  devoid  of  interest,  according  to  my 
idea,  as  this  one. 

"  After  having  spent  nearly  two  hours  with  me,  the  reporters  shook  hands, 
expressed  themselves  as  much  obh'ged  to  me,  and  went  their  way. 

"  How  childish  these  Americans  must  be  !  thought  I ;  is  it  possible  that  a 
conversation  such  as  I  have  just  had  with  those  reporters  can  interest  them  } 

"  Next  day,  I  procured  all  the  New  York  morning  papers,  more  from  curi- 
osity, I  must  say  in  justice  to  myself,  than  from  vanity,  for  I  was  not  at  all 
proud  of  my  utterances  of  the  day  before. 

"Judge  of  my  surprise,  on  opening  the  first  paper,  to  find  nearly  two  columns 
full  of  amusing  details,  picturesque  descriptions,  well-told  anecdotes,  witty 
remarks,  the  whole  cleverly  mingled  and  arranged  by  men  who,  I  had  always 
supposed,  were  mere  stenographers. 

"  Everything  was  faithfully  reported  and  artistically  set  down.  The  smallest 
incidents  were  rendered  interesting  by  the  manner  of  telling.  The  Major, 
for  instance,  who,  accustomed  to  this  kind  of  interview  for  many  years,  had 
peacefully  dropped  asleep,  comfortably  installed,  with  his  head  on  the  sofa 
pillows  and  his  feet  on  the  back  of  a  chair ;  my  own  gestures  ;  the  description 
of  the  pretty  and  elegantly-furnished  office, — all  was  very  crisp  and  vivid. 
They  had  turned  everything  to  account ;  even  the  arrival  of  the  lemon  squash 
was  made  to  furnish  a  little  paragraph  that  was  droll  and  attractive.  You 
might  have  imagined  that  the  whole  thing  was  the  first  chapter  of  a  novel, 
commencing  with  the  majestic  entry  of  a  steamer  into  New  York  harbor, 

"  Well,  I  said  to  myself,  the  American  journalist  knows,  at  any  rate,  how  to 
make  a  savory  hash  out  of  very  little." 

Nevertheless,  no  fair-minded  man  can  deny  that  great  abuses  still  exist  in 
the  methods  of  reporters  and  interviewers.  They  have  too  little  regard  for 
the  sanctities  of  daily  life,  for  the  feelings  of  the  living  or  the  memory  of  the 
dead,  if  their  wares  are  only  marketable.  A  good  story  is  told  of  an  Eastern 
traveller  who  had  put  up  at  a  "  hotel"  in  a  mining  town  in  Colorado.  His 
window  looked  on  a  piazza  filled  with  loafers.  It  had  no  shades.  So  he 
pinned  a  shirt  across  to  screen  him  while  he  was  dressing.  It  was  almost 
immediately  torn  down,  and  to  his  angry  remonstrance  the  intruder  only 
replied,  "I  wanted  to  see  what  there  is  so  damned  private  going  on  here." 
The  loafer's  surprise  and  curiosity  were  doubtless  natural.  Still,  the  traveller 
was  entitled  to  the  screen.  Now,  the  newspaper  reporter,  like  the  loafer, 
does  not  always  understand  this  great  truth. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  557 

The  most  vivid  recent  instance  is  afforded  by  the  wedding  of  President 
Cleveland.  It  will  be  remembered  that  this  took  place  in  the  White  House  in 
June,  1886,  and  that  subsequently  the  couple  spent  their  honey-moon  in  Deer 
Park,  Maryland.  Naturally,  the  President  did  not  care  to  have  his  domestic 
affairs  paraded  before  the  world.  No  reportorial  witnesses  were  permitted 
within  the  White  House.  But  the  divine  voice  of  the  public  cried  out  for 
news,  the  great  ear  of  the  public  was  extended  for  gossip,  and  the  reporters 
were  not  to  be  baffled.  They  could  not  gain  admittance,  but  they  surrounded 
the  White  House,  they  caught  glimpses  of  the  bride  and  the  bridal  guests  as 
they  drove  up  to  the  White  House  steps,  they  recorded  that  the  bride's  cheeks 
were  tinged  with  soft  color,  that  her  observing  eye  caught  sight  of  the  fact 
that  one  of  the  ladies  in  descending  from  her  carriage  allowed  a  glimpse  of 
"rather  more  of  her  anatomy"  than  was  usual  in  public,  whereupon  Miss 
Folsom  "  with  a  dainty  kick  gathered  her  skirts  about  her,  and  jumped  to 
the  walk  with  only  her  boot-tips  protruding."  Nothing  of  the  ceremony  itself 
could  be  seen  by  the  reporters.  Expecting  that  the  President  would  try  to 
slip  away  unobserved,  "a  number  of  newspaper  men,"  we  are  quoting  from 
the  reports,  "stationed  themselves  near  the  southwest  entrance  to  the  grounds 
with  carriages  convenient,  to  follow  the  President  in  case  he  should  make  his 
exit  by  that  gate."  This  was  reported  to  the  President,  who  baffled  his  tor- 
mentors by  taking  another  and  almost  unused  route.  Balked  of  their  prey, 
the  reporters  made  a  wild  break  for  the  station  in  time  to  see  the  train  move 
off  towards  Deer  Park,  "  where  the  couple  hope  to  spend  their  honey-moon  in 
quiet.  .  .  .  The  Chicago  Limited,  which  followed  the  President's  special,  car- 
ried a  number  of  special  correspondents,  who  will  reach  Oakland  about  sun- 
rise. None  of  the  hotels  open  at  this  season,  and  the  question  of  providing 
the  journalistic  pilgrims  with  food  and  shelter  will  have  to  resolve  itself  when  the 
unexpected  colony  invade  the  mountain  precincts  of  the  President's  retreat." 

And  in  very  truth  they  found  scant  accommodations  when  they  arrived  at 
their  destination.  Many  slept  on  the  bare  ground.  None  had  sufficient  food. 
Yet  for  two  weeks  they  nobly  held  their  ground, — a  starving  army  besieging  a 
home  of  plenty.  The  President  had  taken  the  precaution  to  employ  eight 
detectives  to  guard  the  approaches  to  his  retreat.  These  being  found  insuffi- 
cient, the  number  was  increased  to  twelve.  The  interviewers  hid  behind 
bushes  and  strove  to  sneak  under  fences.  But  the  Argus-eyed  watchers  were 
too  many  for  them.  The  bridal  couple  passed  their  honey-moon  in  unchron- 
icled  privacy. 

Mr.  Frank  G.  Carpenter,  himself  a  newspaper  man  of  large  experience,  tells 
this  story : 

One  of  the  funniest  interviews  of  the  past  three  years  was  that  which  was  unconsciously 
given  by  Senator  Ingalls  to  Mr.  Lewsley,  then  of  the  Washington  Post,  but  now  connected 
with  The  World.  Mr.  Lewsley  was  sent  to  interview  Senator  Ingalls  on  politics.  Senator  In- 
galls did  not  want  to  talk,  and  he  turned  the  conversation,  at  every  question  that  Lewsley  put, 
to  the  subject  of  shaving.  When  Lewsley  asked  him  as  to  the  prospects  of  the  party,  Senator 
Ingalls  remarked  that  Mr.  Lewsley's  beard  needed  trimming,  and,  "as  a  friend,"  told  him, 
"  a  gentleman  could  not  go  through  life  without  shaving  himself  at  least  once  a  day." 

"  You  should  shave  the  first  thing  in  the  morning,"  said  Ingalls.  "  You  will  want  a  cup 
of  hot  water  ;  and  as  to  the  razor "  ^^ 

Here  Lewsley  broke  in,  "  But,  Senator,  I  want  to  ask  you  as  to  the  Presidential  situation. 

"  I  was  speaking  of  the  razor,  Mr.  Lewsley.  I  would  advise  you  to  get  one  of  the  Sheffield 
make,  with  a  hollow  blade,  and  the  lighter  and  smaller  the  better ;  and " 

'•  But,  Senator  Ingalls,"  interrupted  Lewsley,  "  I  want  to  talk  to  you  about  the  political " 

"  Ah,  Mr.  Lewsley,  I  forgot  to  speak  about  the  soap.     The  finest  soap  you  will  find  on  the 

m:\rket  is  that  made  in  New  England  by  a  man  named "     And  then  Ingalls  mentioned  the 

name  of  one  of  the  noted  soap  men  of  the  United  States,  and  went  on  with  a  quarter  of 
a  column  of  eulogy  in  his  usual  linguistic  pyrotechnics  upon  the  virtues  of  this  shaving-soap. 

Mr.  Lewsley,  finding  he  could  not  get  what  he  wanted,  left,  and,  having  a  certain  amount  of 
space  to  fill,  he  wrote  up  the  interview  on  shaving,  quoting  Ingalls's  words  as  they  were 
uttered. 

47* 


558  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  next  day  everybody  in  Washington  was  laughing  over  this  interview,  and  by  the 
following  week  it  was  copied  into  nearly  every  paper  in  the  United  States.  Senator  Ingalls 
did  not  object  to  it  until  he  saw  it  on  one  of  the  advertising  pages  of  Harper's  Weekly.  The 
shaving-soap  man  had  taken  a  picture  of  Senator  Ingalls  and  had  paid  for  a  whole  page  of 
Harper's  \Veekly  for  this  and  the  interview  advertising  his  soap.  Mr.  Lewsley  bought 
Harper's  Weekly  the  day  it  came  out,  and  he  had  it  in  his  pocket  as,  going  up  towards  the 
Capitol,  he  met  Senator  Ingalls,  and  said, — 

"  Senator,  there  are  some  things  in  my  life  of  which  I  feel  very  proud,  and  some  for  which 
I  am  sorry.  I  feel,  for  once,  however,  that  I  have  done  myself  great  credit,  and  1  have  never 
appreciated  that  fact  as  I  do  now." 

"  How  so?"  said  Senator  Ingalls. 

"  I  find  that  I  have  been  the  humble  means.  Senator,  of  making  you  truly  famous.  I  have 
elevated  you  to  the  rank  of  Patti,  Henry  Ward  Beecher,  Lydia  Pinkham,  Harriet  Hubbard 
Ayer,  and  the  other  really  great  who  find  their  place  in  the  advertising  columns  of  great 
newspapers." 

"  What  do  you  mean?"  said  Ingalls. 

"  I  mean  this,"  said  Lewsley,  and  he  thereupon  handed  the  Senator  the  paper.  Ingalls 
screwed  his  double-spectacled  eyes  close  to  the  paper  a  moment  without  speaking,  and  then  he 
raised  it  up  and  said, — 

"  My  God,  Lewsley,  you've  ruined  me  !" 

"  Oh,  no,  I  think  not,"  said  Lewsley.    "  It  is  just  as  you  have  given  it  to  me,  is  it  not  ?" 

"  Yes,  I  believe  it  is,"  said  Ingalls,  "  and  there  is  no  use  in  trying  to  lie  out  of  it.  I  couldn't 
afford  to  enter  the  ring  with  a  great  professional  liar  like  yourself.  I  will  do  one  thing,  how- 
ever,^ — I  will  prevent  the  reappearance  of  that  advertisement  ;"  and  thereupon  the  Senator 
went  to  his  room  and  telegraphed  to  the  soap  man  that  if  he  did  not  take  that  advertisement 
out  of  the  paper  he  would  be  subject  to  a  suit  for  damages.  The  result  was  that  the  advertise- 
ment was  dropped. 

The  newspaper  man,  indeed,  is  a  dangerous  person  to  fool  with.  He  is 
extremely  ingenious  in  his  methods  of  retaliation.  Here  is  another  story  in 
point.  One  Bennett  was  city  editor  of  the  Cincinnati  Enquirer  somewhere 
in  the  sixties.  It  was  Bennett's  plan,  if  news  were  scarce,  to  make  small 
children — offspring  of  the  brain  only — fall  from  the  Newport  ferry-boat  into 
the  Ohio  River,  where  they  would  infallibly  have  been  drowned  but  for  the 
.  gallant  rescue  of  some  by-stander,  usually  a  personal  friend  of  Bennett's. 
One  of  these  friends,  Kellum  by  name,  grew  very  weary  after  he  had  figured 
several  times  as  a  savior  of  drowning  innocents,  and  requested  that  Bennett 
should  desist.  So,  in  next  day's  Enquirer,  Kellum  read  that  a  beautiful  little 
girl,  child  of  a  prominent  citizen  in  Newport,  had  fallen  into  the  river,  and 
that  Mr.  Kellum,  who  was  standing  near  and  could  have  rescued  her,  refused 
to  render  the  slightest  assistance.  A  few  minutes  later  the  maddest  man  in 
Cincinnati  arrived  in  the  Enquirer  office,  threatening  the  direst  vengeance  on 
Bennett.  But  Bennett  calmly  pulled  off  his  coat,  and  said,  "  See  here,  Kel- 
lum, you  are  a  good  enough  fellow  in  your  way,  but  I  can't  stand  any  inter- 
ference with  my  department.  If  I  make  any  statement  in  the  Enquirer  you 
mustn't  come  round  here  contradicting  it     That  isn't  journalism." 

The  following  story  is  told  of  a  Democratic  convention  in  Missouri.     Each 
interviewer  from  the  St.  Louis  Globe- Democrat  wore  a  badge  of  white  satin 
pinned  to  his  coat-lapel  with  a  silver  star,  and  bearing  this  legend  : 
Globe- Democrat  Interviewing  Corps. 
I'll  call  thee  Hamlet, 
King,  Father,  Royal  Dane.     Oh,  answer  me. 
Let  me  not  biu-st  in  ignorance. 

As  he  finished  with  his  victim,  each  interviewer  handed  him  a  check,  which 
he  put  in  his  hat-band,  and  thus  evaded  any  further  bother  with  the  reporters. 
These  checks  were  inscribed  as  follows  : 

Pumped. 
Keep  this  check  in  your  hat,  and  you  will  not  again  be  disturbed  by  a  reporter. 

So  much  for  American  journalist  exploits.  Foreigners,  especially  the 
English,  are  rather  apt  to  sneer  at  them.    Yet  foreigners,  and  among  them  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  559 

English,  are  learning  the  same  tricks.  It  was  an  English  scribe  who  during 
the  Franco-Prussian  war,  when  the  French  general  Bataille  occupied  Saar- 
briicken  for  a  brief  period,  and  had  his  meals  sent  from  a  hotel  in  the  town  to 
his  tent  on  the  hill, — it  was  an  English  scribe  who  disguised  himself  as  a  knight 
of  the  napkin,  and,  in  consequence,  was  enabled  to  send  to  his  paper  an  account 
of  what  he  had  seen  and  heard.  Again,  when  the  Lieutenancy  of  the  City  of 
London  went  to  Windsor  to  present  its  congratulations  on  the  recovery  of 
the  Prince  of  Wales,  an  English  newspaper  man,  in  an  imitation  Windsor 
uniform,  joined  the  deputation,  and,  although  stopped  at  the  door  of  the 
Throne  Room,  eventually  sat  down  with  the  luncheon-party  in  the  Waterloo 
Chamber.  It  was  a  German  reporter  who,  during  the  visit  of  Emperor  Wil- 
liam and  King  Humbert  to  Naples,  disguised  himself  as  a  waiter,  and  suc- 
ceeded in  establishing  himself  behind  the  Kaiser's  chair  during  the  banquet 
that  followed  the  naval  review.  And,  again,  it  was  an  Englishman,  Mr.  Beatty 
Kingston,  who  was  able  during  the  Franco-Prussian  war,  as  correspondent 
of  the  Daily  Telegraph,  to  obtain  a  copy  of  the  convention  entered  into  be- 
tween Jules  Favre  and  Prince  Bismarck  for  the  capitulation  of  Paris.  Dr. 
Moritz  Busch,  in  his  diary  of  the  war,  records  the  latter's  astonishment 
when  it  appeared  in  the  Telegraph  of  the  following  day. 

Ipse  dixit  (L.,  "  He  himself  said  it"),  an  assertion  without  proof,  a 
dogmatic  expression  of  opinion  which  neither  courts  nor  will  yield  to  argument. 
The  phrase  comes  to  us  through  the  Romans  from  the  disciples  of  Pythagoras, 
who,  when  asked  the  reason  of  their  doctrines,  would  only  reply,  'AvTog  e<j>a, 
("  He  said  so.")  The  further  development  of  the  phrase  hito  ipsedixitism,  = 
the  practice  of  dogmatic  assertion,  is  happily  rare. 

That  day  of  ipsedixits,  I  trust,  is  over.— J.  H.  Newman  :  Letters,  1875. 

Irish.  No  Irish  need  apply.  In  advertisements  for  servants  in  American 
papers  this  phrase  was  repeated  so  often  that  it  grew  to  be  a  popular  by-word 
and  the  shibboleth  of  the  Know-Nothing  party  and  their  sympathizers. 

He  was  one  of  the  whitest  men  that  was  ever  in  the  mines.  He  never  could  stand  it  to  see 
things  go  wrong.  He's  done  more  to  make  this  town  quiet  and  respectable  than  anybody  in 
it.  I've  seen  him  lick  four  Greasers  in  eleven  minutes  myself.  If  a  thing  wanted  regulating. 
he  wam't  a  man  to  go  browsing  around  after  somebody  to  do  it,  but  he  would  prance  in  and 
regulate  it  himself.  He  warn't  a  Catholic.  Scasely.  He  was  down  on  them.  His  word  was 
•'  No  Irish  need  apply  !"  But  it  made  no  difference  about  that  when  it  come  down  to  what  a 
man's  rights  was ;  and  so,  when  some,  roughs  jumped  the  Catholic  bone-yard  and  started  to 
stake  out  town-lots  in  it,  he  went  for  'em.  And  he  cleaned  'em,  too  !  I  was  there,  pard, 
and  I  seen  it  myself. — Mark  Twain  :  Roughing  It,  p.  334. 

Iron  and  blood  (Ger.  "  Eisen  und  Blut"),  a  famous  phrase  of  Bismarck's, 
persistently  misquoted  in  the  more  euphonic  form  "  blood  and  iron."  The 
germ  of  the  phrase  in  Bismarck's  mind  is  found  in  a  letter  from  St.  Peters- 
burg to  Baron  von  Schleinitz,  the  Prussian  minister  of  foreign  affairs,  written 
May  12,  1S59,  which  did  not,  however,  see  the  light^f  print  until  1866:  "I 
perceive  in  our  relations  with  the  Bund  a  fault  of  Prussia's  which  we  must 
heal  sooner  or  \-aX&x  ferro  et  igne."  The  more  famous  phrase  was  uttered  in 
a  speech  before  the  Budget  Commission  of  the  Prussian  House  of  Delegates, 
September  30,  1S62  :  "  It  is  desirable  and  it  is  necessary  that  the  condition  of 
affairs  in  Germany  and  of  her  constitutional  relations  should  be  improved  ; 
but  this  cannot  be  accomplished  by  speeches  and  resolutions  of  a  majority, 
but  only  by  iron  and  blood."  Yet  the  phrase  was  an  old  one  even  in  Ger- 
many. Heine  had  anticipated  it  as  it  stood  in  the  first  draught  when,  in 
some  manuscript  memoranda  printed  after  his  death,  he  said,  "  Napoleon 
healed  the  sick  nation  through  sword  and  fire."  (Scherer  :  History  of 
German  Literature,  ii.  116.)      Schenkendorf,  in  "Das  Eiserne  Kreuz,"  had 


560  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

anticipated  the  second  form  when  he  said  that  only  iron  and  blood  could  save 
his  countrymen;  but  he  had  borrowed  from  Arndt's  famous  lines, — 

Zwar  der  Tapfere  nennt  sich  Herr  der  Lander 

Durch  sein  Eisen,  durch  sein  Blut. 

Lehre  an  den  Menschen. 

And,  centuries  before,  Quintilian,  in  his  "Declamations,"  had  defined 
slaughter  as  meaning  blood  and  iron  :  "  Casdes  videtur  significare  sanguinetn 
et  ferrum."  But  the  phrase  caught  the  fancy  of  the  world  as  descriptive  of 
the  character  and  methods  of  Bismarck  himself,  and  is  the  undoubted  origin 
of  his  famous  sobriquet,  the  Iron  Chancellor. 

Iron  Duke,  a  sobriquet  by  which  the  Duke  of  Wellington  was  generally 
known  in  his  later  days.  It  was  originally  applied,  not  to  the  man,  but  to 
an  iron  steamboat  called  "  The  Duke  of  Wellington,"  which  plied  between 
Liverpool  and  Dublin.  The  name  so  well  exjiressed  the  popular  idea  of  the 
sternness  of  his  character  and  his  want  of  feeling  towards  the  masses  that  it 
was  soon  transferred  from  the  steamboat  to  the  old  soldier  himself. 

Iron  entered  into  his  soul,  The,  a  common  phrase  for  extreme  agony, — 
probably  a  reminiscoice  of  the  ancient  custom  of  torturing  the  flesh  with  in- 
struments of  iron.  The  phrase  seems  to  have  been  first  used  in  the  Prayer- 
Book  version  of  Psalm  cv.  18  :  "  Whose  feet  they  hurt  in  the  stocks  :  the  iron 
entered  into  his  soul."  The  passage  is  translated  in  the  King  James  Bible 
as  "  He  was  laid  in  irons,"  and  in  the  Revised  Version,  "  He  was  laid  in  chains 
of  iron," 

I  saw  the  iron  enter  into  his  soul,  and  felt  what  sort  of  pain  it  was  that  ariseth  from  hope 
deferred. — Stbrne. 

Ironclad  oath,  the  name  given  to  the  oath  of  office  prescribed  by  Con- 
gress after  the  close  of  the  civil  war  as  a  safeguard  against  future  disloyalty 
on  the  part  of  citizens  of  the  reconstructed  Southern  States. 

Irons  in  the  fire,  a  familiar  locution,  found  also  in  the  French  language, 
meaning  many  and  various  things  to  attend  to.  "  He  has  too  many  irons  in 
the  fire"  is  not  dissimilar  from  the  American  "  He  has  bitten  off  more  than  he 
can  chew,"  and  signifies  that  he  has  undertaken  more  than  he  can  perform. 
The  figure  is  probably  borrowed  from  the  smithy.  A  story  is  told  of  Sam- 
uel Foote  that  he  was  much  bored  by  a  pompous  physician  at  Bath,  who  told 
him  that  he  thought  of  publishing  his  own  poems,  but  had  so  many  irons  in 
the  fire  that  he  really  didn't  know  what  to  do.  "Take  my  advice,  doctor," 
said  Foote,  "and  put  your  poems  where  your  irons  are."  But  jarecisely  the 
same  story  is  told  of  Dr.  Johnson.  When  Miss  Brooke,  author  of  "The 
Siege  of  Sinope,"  said  she  had  too  many  irons  in  the  fire  to  read  her  play 
over  carefully,  Johnson  retorted,  "  Put  your  tragedy  where  your  irons  are." 
And  before  either  Johnson  or  Foote  the  story  appeared  thus  in  the  "  Nain 
Jaune,"  a  French  collection  oi bons  mots:  "  A  gentleman  who  had  the  unfortu- 
nate talent  of  throwing  once  a  month  a  volume  to  the  jniblic  asked  a  friend 
to  speak  frankly  of  one  he  was  threatening  to  bring  out  :  '  If  that  is  worth 
nothing,  I  have  other  irons  in  the  fire.'  'In  that  case,'  replied  the  friend,  'I 
advise  you  to  put  your  manuscript  where  you  have  put  your  irons'  ('  Dans  ce 
cas  je  vous  conseille  de  mettre  votre  manuscrit  ou  vous  avez  mis  vos  fers')." 

Ironsides,  a  surname  given  to  Edmund  II.,  King  of  the  Anglo-Saxons 
(9S9-1016)  ;  furthermore,  a  name  given  to  Cromwell's  soldiers  after  their 
victory  at  Marston  Moor.  The  United  States  frigate  Constitution  was 
familiarly  known  as  "  Old  Ironsides."  She  was  launched  at  Boston,  Septem- 
ber 20,  1797,  and  became  celebrated  for  the  prominent  part  she  took  during 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  S6l 

the  expedition  to  suppress  the  Barbaiy  corsairs,  particularly  in  the  bombard- 
ment of  Tripoli,  in  1804,  and  for  the  gallantry  displayed  by  her  officers  and 
men  during  the  War  of  1812. 

Irony.  In  the  well-known  "Verses  on  his  own  Death"  Swift  humorously 
asserts  that 

Arbuthnot  is  no  more  my  friend. 
Who  dares  to  irony  pretend, 
Which  I  was  born  to  introduce. 
Refined  it  first,  and  showed  its  use. 

This,  even  as  a  bit  of  humorous  exaggeration,  is  an  absurd  claim.  That  the 
great  Dean  was  one  of  the  mightiest  masters  of  irony  in  the  English  language 
may  be  granted.  But  irony  (eipuveia,  "  dissembling")  was  a  well-known  figure  in 
Greek  literature,  and  was  handled  with  marvellous  dexterity  by  Aristophanes, 
by  Plato,  and  by  Socrates.  It  was  so  pervading  an  element  in  the  latter's 
discourse  that  even  his  contemporaries  spoke  of  it  as  his  "  customary  irony," 
and  in  more  modern  times  Socratic  and  ironic  have  come  to  be  almost  con- 
vertible terms  : 

Most  socratick  Lady ! 
Or,  if  you  will,  ironick  ! 

Bbn  Jonson  :  New  Inn. 

Nay,  a  still  more  ancient  instance  is  found  in  the  Old  Testament,  in  Elijah's 
ridicule  of  the  prophets  of  Baal  (/.  Kings  xviii.  27),  when  in  answer  to  his 
challenge  they  clamor  to  their  god  to  send  fire  from  heaven  upon  the  altar  : 
"  And  it  came  to  pass  at  noon,  that  Elijah  mocked  them,  and  said,  Cry  aloud, 
for  he  is  a  god  ;  either  he  is  talking,  or  he  is  pursuing,  or  he  is  in  a  journey, 
or  peradventure  he  sleepeth,  and  must  be  awaked."  Even  if  the  Dean  con- 
fined his  boast  to  the  English  language  he  would  find  it  difficult  of  vindication. 
Nowhere  in  Swift  is  there  irony  more  admirably  sustained  than  in  Antony's 
speech  over  the  corpse  of  Caesar,  deriving  as  it  does  additional  intensity  from 
contrast  with  his  impassioned  soliloquy  in  the  preceding  scene,  which  reveals 
the  world  of  fury  that  Antony  is  really  suppressing  when  he  reiterates  that 
Brutus  is  an  honorable  man. 

As  good  a  definition  of  irony  as  any  is  that  by  E.  P.  Whijiple.  Irony,  he 
says,  is  a  kind  of  saturnine,  sardonic  wit,  having  the  self-possession,  com- 
plexity, and  continuity  of  humor,  without  its  geniality.  It  is  "an  insult  con- 
veyed in  the  form  of  a  compliment  ;  insinuating  the  most  galling  satire  under 
the  phraseology  of  panegyric  ;  placing  its  victim  naked  on  a  bed  of  briers 
and  thistles  thinly  covered  with  rose-leaves  ;  adorning  his  brow  with  a  crown 
of  gold,  which  burns  into  his  brain  ;  teasing  and  fretting,  and  riddling  him 
through  and  through,  with  incessant  discharges  of  hot  shot  from  a  masked 
battery ;  laying  bare  the  most  sensitive  and  shrinking  nerves  of  his  mind,  and 
then  blandly  touching  them  with  ice,  or  smilingly  pricking  them  with  needles." 
It  is  with  special  reference  to  the  irony  of  Swift  that  Whipple  pens  this  char- 
acterization, and  he  deems  that  the  most  exquisite  piece  of  irony  in  modern 
literature,  and  at  the  same  time  the  most  terrible  satire  on  the  misgovernment 
of  Ireland,  is  Swift's  pamphlet  entitled  "A  Modest  Proposal  to  the  Public  for 
Preventing  the  Children  of  Poor  People  in  Ireland  from  being  a  Burden  to 
their  Country,  and  for  making  them  Beneficial  to  the  Public."  It  was  pub- 
lished in  1729,  when  people  were  starving  in  hundreds  from  the  famine 
and  the  dead  were  left  unburied  before  their  doors.  And  what  was  Swift's 
plan  ?  It  was  to  turn  the  children  into  food.  "  I  have  been  assured,"  he 
says,  "by  a  very  knowing  American  of  my  acquaintance  in  London  that  a 
young  healthy  child,  well  nursed,  is,  at  a  year  old,  a  most  delicious,  nourish- 
ing, and  wholesome  food,  whether  stewed,  roasted,  baked,  or  boiled  ;  and  I 
make  no  doubt  it  will  equally  serve  as  a  ragout."  He  argues  out  the  propo- 
// 


562  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

sitioii  with  the  calm  deliberation  of  a  statistician,  or  of  a  projector  suggesting 
the  importation  of  food  from  abroad.  "A  child,"  he  continues,  "will  make 
two  dishes  at  an  entertainment  for  friends  ;  and  when  the  family  dines  alone, 
the  fore  or  hind  quarter  will  make  a  reasonable  dish."  The  expense  of  fatten- 
ing a  child  for  the  table  will  not  be  great,  not  above  two  shillings  per  annum, 
"rags  included,"  and  he  believes  "no  gentleman  will  repine  to  give  ten 
shillings  for  the  carcass  of  a  good  fat  child."  This  would  leave  the  mother 
eight  shillings  net  profit.  Further,  the  flesh  of  young  lads  and  maidens  not 
exceeding  fourteen  or  under  twelve  might  be  found  an  admirable  substitute 
for  venison  on  squires'  tables.  He  considers  and  answers  with  mock  argu- 
ments all  objections  that  might  be  raised  to  the  scheme  "  as  a  little  bordering 
on  cruelty,"  and  is  careful  to  add  that  he  has  no  personal  motive,  as  his  own 
children  "  are  all  past  the  age  when  he  could  make  a  profit  of  them."  The 
purport  of  this  tract  has  been  strangely  misunderstood.  It  has  been  de- 
nounced as  ghastly,  cold-blooded,  callous,  cynical.  Even  Thackeray,  himself 
a  master  of  irony,  cites  it  as  an  evidence  of  the  Dean's  hatred  for  children. 
These  critics  are  as  much  in  error  as  the  French  author  who,  taking  the  Pro- 
posal seriously,  drew  therefrom  a  frightful  picture  of  the  extremities  to  which 
the  Irish  people  had  been  reduced. 

In  truth,  the  calm  exterior  is  but  a  thin  veil,  through  vvhich  the  scorn  and 
indignation  of  the  writer  shoot  with  blistering  and  blighting  force.  He  does 
not  wear  his  heart  on  his  sleeve.  This  does  not  prove  that  he  is  heartless. 
On  the  contrary,  it  shows  that  his  heart  is  in  the  right  place. 

Another  most  effective  example  of  Swift's  peculiar  manner  is  his  "Argu- 
ment against  Abolishing  Christianity."  The  title  in  full  is  itself  an  admirable 
bit  of  calm  sarcasm :  "  An  Argument  to  prove  that  the  Abolishing  of  Chris- 
tianity in  England  may,  as  things  now  stand,  be  attended  with  some  incon- 
veniences, and  perhaps  not  produce  those  many  good  effects  proposed  thereby." 
He  starts  out  with  a  semblance  of  hesitation  and  timidity,  as  of  one  who  feels 
that  he  is  arraying  himself  against  the  general  consensus  of  intelligent  opinion. 
He  hastens  to  guard  against  misinterpretation.  Of  course  he  is  not  defend- 
ing real  Christianity  :  that  would  be  proper  for  none  but  an  uncivilized  age. 
His  aim  is  only  to  show  the  practical  uses  of  the  conventional  fiction  that  now 
prevails.  Leave  the  people  a  god  to  revile,  or  they  might  be  tempted  "to 
reflect  upon  the  ministry."  He  acknowledges  that  it  seems  ridiculous  that  a 
set  of  men  should  be  suffered,  much  less  hired,  to  bawl  one  day  in  seven 
against  the  constant  practices  of  all  men  alive  during  the  other  six.  But  he 
points  out  that  more  than  one-half  the  pleasure  of  enjoyment  lies  in  the  fact 
of  a  thing  being  forbidden.  Doubtless  it  costs  a  good  deal  to  maintain  ten 
thousand  parsons  and  a  score  of  bishops ;  doubtless,  too,  their  revenues 
would  suffice  to  maintain,  as  ornaments  to  the  court  and  town,  at  least  a 
couple  of  hundred,  young  gentlemen  of  wit,  pleasure,  and  free-thinking,  ene- 
mies to  priestcraft,  narrow  principles,  pedantry,  and  prejudices.  But,  after 
all,  parsons  have  their  uses.  Their  diet  is  moderate  enough  to  let  them  breed 
a  healthy  progeny,  without  which  the  nation  would  in  an  age  or  two  become 
one  great  hospital,  for  the  lives  led  by  men  of  pleasure  only  entail  rottenness 
and  politeness  on  their  posterity.  And  after  the  present  refined  way  of  living 
it  is  not  certain  that  more  than  one  hundred  young  gentlemen  of  fashion 
could  be  kept  on  the  parsons'  revenues.  The  offer  of  such  scanty  support 
might  even  offend  their  dignity.  As  for  the  argument  that  one  day  in  seven 
is  lost  by  the  practice  of  Ciiristianity,  this  is  mere  cavil.  Sunday  serves  ex- 
cellently for  a  dose  of  physic  ;  the  wits  need  not  change  the  course  of  their 
lives  ;  the  churches  are  fitted  for  all  the  purposes  of  assignation,  or  offer 
conveniences  and  incitements  to  sleep.  But  supposing  the  parsons  to  go,  and 
the  churches,  what  would  become  of  the  free-thinkers,  the  wits,  the  strong 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  563 

reasoners,  the  men  of  profound  learning?  How  would  they  be  able  to  shine 
or  distinguish  themselves  ?  Who  would  ever  have  suspected  Asgil  for  a  wit, 
or  Toland  for  a  philosopher,  if  the  inexhaustible  stock  of  Christianity  had 
not  been  at  hand  to  provide  them  with  material  ?  For  had  a  hundred  such 
pens  as  these  been  employed  on  the  side  of  religion  they  would  have  im- 
mediately sunk  into  silence  and  oblivion. 

Defoe's  "  Shortest  Way  with  the  Dissenters,"  which  was  written  in  1702,  has 
been  sometimes  held  to  be  the  literary  predecessor  of  these  tracts  of  Swift.  But 
Defoe  had  none  of  the  coruscating  wit  which  illuminates  the  productions  of 
Swift  and  makes  their  meaning  intelligible  to  all  save  the  dullards.  It  has 
been  said  that  the  "  Modest  Proposal"  was  taken  seriously  by  a  Frenchman. 
On  the  other  hand,  the  "  Shortest  Way  with  the  Dissenters"  imposed  on 
almost  all  England.  It  was  really  a  burlesque  on  the  intolerance  of  the 
High-Church  elSment  in  the  Tory  party.  Defoe  assumed  the  character  of  a 
bigoted  "  High-flyer,"  and  proposed,  with  apparent  seriousness,  that  "  who- 
ever was  found  at  a  conventicle  should  be  banished  the  nation,  and  the 
preacher  hanged."  So  well  was  the  character  maintained  that  a  Fellow  of 
Cambridge  College  wrote  to  his  bookseller,  "  I  received  yours,  and  with  it 
that  pamphlet  which  makes  so  much  noise,  called  '  The  Shortest  Way  with 
the  Dissenters,'  for  which  I  thank  you.  I  join  with  that  author  in  all  he  says, 
and  have  such  a  value  for  the  book,  that,  next  to  the  Holy  Bible  and  the 
Sacred  Comments,  I  take  it  for  the  most  valuable  piece  I  have.  I  pray  God 
put  it  into  her  Majesty's  heart  to  put  what  is  there  proposed  into  execution." 
Not  only  were  Churchmen  imposed  upon,  but  Dissenters  also.  Defoe  had  to 
write  a  serious  protestation  that  it  was  all  a  joke,  and  that  he  meant  to  expose 
only  the  non-juring  faction  among  the  Tories  by  putting  their  secret  wishes 
into  English.  "  'Tis  hard,"  he  complains,  "  that  this  should  not  be  perceived 
by  all  the  town  ;  so  that  not  one  man  can  see  it,  either  Churchman  or  Dis- 
senter." This  was  just  before  his  surrender  to  the  Tory  government,  which, 
furious  at  discovering  the  trick  that  had  been  put  upon  it,  sentenced  him  to 
the  pillory. 

Defoe  was  not  the  only  person  who  found  irony  a  two-edged  sword.  The 
sense  of  humor  is  no  universal  birthright.  Even  in  America  the  blood  of  the 
thick-witted  middle-class  English  sometimes  asserts  itself  above  the  lighter 
and  clearer  fluid  which  comes  to  us  from  Gaul  and  Gael.  When  "The  New- 
comes"  was  in  course  of  publication,  a  passage  in  one  of  the  chapters  alluding 
to  "  Mr.  Washington"  was  so  far  misunderstood  by  the  dullards  here  that  the 
fact  was  referred  to  by  the  New  York  correspondent  of  the  Times.  Whereupon 
Thackeray  addressed  the  following  letter  to  that  journal  : 

Sir, — Allow  me  a  word  of  explanation  in  answer  to  a  strange  charge  which  has  been 
brought  against  me  in  the  United  States,  and  which  your  New  York  correspondent  has  made 
public  in  this  country. 

In  the  first  number  of  a  periodical  story  which  I  am  now  publishing  appears  a  sentence  in 
which  I  should  have  never  thought  of  finding  any  harm  until  it  has  been  discovered  by  some 
critics  over  the  water.     The  fatal  words  are  these  : 

"  When  pig-tails  grew  on  the  backs  of  the  British  gentry,  and  their  wives  wore  cushions  on 
their  heads,  over  which  they  tied  their  own  hair  and  disguised  it  with  powder  and  pomatum; 
when  ministers  went  in  their  stars  and  orders  to  the  House  of  Commons,  and  the  orators  of 
the  opposition  attacked  nightly  the  noble  lord  in  the  blue  riband  ;  when  Mr.  Washington  was 
heading  the  American  cause  with  a  courage,  it  must  be  confessed,  worthy  of  a  better  cause, — 
there  came  to  London,  out  of  a  northern  country,  Mr.  etc." 

This  paragraph  has  been  interpreted  in  America  as  an  insult  to  Washington  and  the  whole 
Union  ;  and  from  the  sadness  and  gravity  with  which  your  correspondent  quotes  certain  of  my 
words,  it  is  evident  he,  too,  thinks  they  have  an  insolent  and  malicious  meaning. 

Having  published  the  American  critic's  comment,  permit  the  author  of  a  faulty  sentence  to 
say  what  he  did  mean,  and  to  add  the  obvious  moral  of  the  apologue  which  has  been  so  oddly 
construed.  I  am  speaking  of  a  young  apprentice  comingto  London  between  the  years  i/yoand 
'80,  and  want  to  depict  a  few  figures  of  the  last  century.  (The  illustrated  head-letter  of  the  chap- 
ter was  intended  to  represent  Hogarth's  "  Industrious  Apprentice.")     I  fancy  the  old  society. 


564  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

with  its  hoops  and  powder— Barre  and  Fox  thundering  at  Lord  North  asleep  on  the  Treasury 
bench— the  news-readers  at  the  coffee-room  talking  over  the  paper,  and  owning  that  this  Mr. 
Washington  who  was  leading  the  rebels  was  a  very  courageous  soldier,  and  worthy  of  a  better 
cause  than  fighting  against  King  George.  The  images  are  at  least  natural,  and  pretty  con- 
secutive. 1776 — the  people  of  London  in  '76— the  Lords  and  House  of  Commons  in  '76 — 
Lord  North— Washington— what  the  people  thought  about  Washington,— I  am  thinking  about 
'76.  Where  in  the  name  of  common  sense  is  the  insult  to  1853?  The  satire,  if  satire  there  be, 
applies  to  us  at  home,  who  called  Washington  Mr.  Washington  ;  as  we  called  Frederick  the 
Great  "  the  Protestant  Hero,"  or  Napoleon  "  the  Corsican  Tyrant"  or"  General  Bonaparte." 
Need  I  say  that  our  officers  were  instructed  (until  they  were  taught  better  manners)  to  call 
Washington  "  Mr.  Washington"  ?  and  that  the  Americans  were  called  rebels  during  the  whole 
of  that  contest  ?  Rebels  !— of  course  they  were  rebels  ;  and  I  should  like  to  know  what  native 
American  would  not  have  been  a  rebel  in  that  cause  ? 

As  irony  is  dangerous,  and  has  hurt  the  feelings  of  kind  friends  whom  I  would  not  wish  to 
offend,  let  me  say,  in  perfect  faith  and  gravity,  that  I  think  the  cause  for  which  Washington 
fought  entirely  just  and  right,  and  the  champion  the  very  noblest,  purest,  bravest,  best,  of 
God's  men.  .  • 

I  am,  sir,  your  very  faithful  servant, 

W.  M.  Thackeray. 

AtHEN^UM,  Nov.  22. 

But  if  irony  is  sometimes  inconvenient,  it  also  has  its  advantages.  Heine 
has  pointed  them  out  in  a  memorable  passage,  all  the  more  quotable  because, 
while  dealing  of  irony,  it  exemplifies  what  it  glosses.  Heine  represents  him- 
self as  holding  a  dialogue  at  Munich  with  a  Berlin  philister  who  denied  that 
Munich  had  any  claim  to  the  title  of  "a  new  Athens"  or  contained  the  first 
grain  of  Attic  salt. 

"  That,"  he  cried,  tolerably  loudly,  "  is  only  to  be  found  in  Berlin.  There,  and  there 
only,  is  wit  and  irony.     Here  they  have  good  white  beer, — but  no  irony." 

'"'  No,— we  haven't  got  irony,"  cried  Nannerl,  the  pretty,  well-formed  waiting-maid,  who  at 
this  instant  sprang  past  us,  "  but  you  can  have  any  other  sort  of  beer." 

It  grieved  me  to  the  heart  that  Nannerl  should  take  irony  to  be  any  sort  of  beer,  were  it 
even  the  best  brew  of  Stettin,  and,  to  prevent  her  from  falling  in  future  into  such  errors,  I 
began  to  teach  her  after  the  following  wise  :  "  Pretty  Nannerl,  irony  is  not  beer,  but  an  in- 
vention of  the  Berlin  people,— the  wisest  folks  in  the  world,— who  were  awfully  vexed  because 
they  came  too  late  into  the  world  to  invent  gunpowder,  and  therefore  undertook  to  find  out 
something  which  would  answer  as  well.  Once  upon  a  time,  my  dear,  when  a  man  had  said 
or  done  something  stupid,  how  could  the  matter  be  helped?  That  which  was  done  could  not 
be  undone,  and  people  said  that  the  man  was  an  ass.  That  was  disagreeable.  In  Berlin, 
where  the  people  are  shrewdest,  and  where  the  most  stupid  things  happen,  the  people  soor, 
found  out  the  inconvenience.  The  government  took  hold  of  the  matter  vigorously,— only  the 
greater  blunders  were  allowed  to  be  printed,  the  lesser  were  simply  suffered  in  conversation,— 
only  professors  and  high  officials  could  say  stupid  things  in  public,  lesser  people  could  only 
make  asses  of  themselves  in  private  ;  but  all  of  these  regulations  were  of  no  avail,— suppressed 
stupidities  availed  themselves  of  extraordinary  opportunities  to  come  to  light ;  those  below 
were  protected  by  those  above,  and  the  emergency  was  terrible,  until  some  one  discovered  a 
reactionary  means,  whereby  every  piece  of  stupidity  could  change  its  nature,  and  even  be 
metamorphosed  into  wisdom.  The  process  is  altogether  simple  and  easy,  and  consists  simply 
in  a  man's  declaring  that  the  stupid  word  or  deed  of  which  he  has  been  guilty  was  meant 
ironically.  So,  my  dear  girl,  all  things  get  along  in  this  world,— stupidity  becomes  irony, 
toadyism  which  has  missed  its  aim  becomes  satire,  natural  coarseness  is  changed  to  artistic 
raillery,  real  madness  is  humor,  ignorance,  real  wit,  and  thou  thyself  art  finally  the  Aspasia 
of  the  modern  Athens."  ,    ,,  ,        .       . 

I  would  have  said  more,  but  pretty  Nannerl,  whom  I  had  up  to  this  point  held  fast  by  the 
apron-string,  broke  away  loose  by  main  force,  as  the  entire  band  of  assembled  guests  began  to 
roar  for  "  a  beer !  a  beer  !"  in  stormy  chorus.  But  the  Berliner  himself  looked  like  irony  in- 
carnate as  he  remarked  the  enthusiasm  with  which  the  foaming  glasses  were  welcomed,  and, 
after  pointing  to  a  group  of  beer-drinkers  who  toasted  their  hop-nectar  and  disputed  as  to  its 
excellence,  he  said,  smiling,  "  Those  are  your  Athenians  !" 

In  Heine  the  irony  is  paramount  over  everything.  You  can  never  be  sure 
of  his  mood.  You  can  never  take  his  word  at  its  apparent  meaning.  There 
is  a  tear  behind  every  laugh,  a  laugh  behind  every  tear.  His  earnestness  has 
a  substratum  of  mockery,  there  is  an  awful  depth  of  pathos  behind  his  levity. 
When  he  gushes  out  into  lyric  ecstasy  there  is  a  tremble  of  humor  on  his  lips, 
his  eyes  dance  while  he  describes  his  own  sufferings,  he  interrupts  his  finest 
poetry  with  a  wild  laugh  at  his  reader's  emotion  and  his  own.     He  gazes  into 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  565 

the  North  Sea  from  the  ship's  bulwarks,  and  his  fancy  paints  a  lovely  city 
under  the  waves,  with  quaint  mediaeval  figures-  going  hitlier  and  thither,  a 
highly-colored,  gorgeous,  holiday  scene,  and  in  a  corner  he  beholds  the  ideal 
maiden  of  his  dreams,  he  holds  out  h.is  arms  to  her,  and  then,  just  in  time,  the 
captain  lays  holds  of  his  heels  with  a  loud  cry  of, — 

Why,  doctor,  what  the  devil  ails  you? 
Or  he  cries  out  in  his  agony, — 

What  avails  it  to  me  that  enthusiastic  youths  and  maidens  crown  my  marble  bust  with 
laurel,  when  the  withered  hands  of  an  aged  nurse  are  pressing  Spanish  flies  behind  my  ears? 
What  avails  it  to  me  that  all  the  roses  of  Shiraz  glow  and  waft  incense  for  me  ?  Alas,  Shiraz  is 
two  thousand  miles  from  the  Rue  d'Amsterdam,  where,  in  the  dreary  solitude  of  my  sick-room, 
I  get  no  scent  unless  it  be  the  perfume  of  warmed-over  poultices.  Alas,  the  irony  of  heaven 
weighs  heavily  upon  me  !  The  great  author  of  the  universe,  the  Aristophanes  of  Heaven, 
wished  to  show  me,  the  little  earthly  so-called  German  Aristophanes,  how  my  wittiest  sarcasms 
are  only  pitiful  attempts  in  comparison  with  his,  and  how  miserably  I  am  beneath  him  in 
humor,  in  colossal  irony. 

George  Eliot  has  wisely  said  that  the  paradoxical  irreverence  with  which 
Heine  professes  his  theoretical  reverence  is  pathological,  the  diseased  exhibi- 
tion of  a  predominant  tendency  urged  into  anomalous  action  by  the  pressure 
of  pain  and  mental  privation,  as  the  delirium  of  wit  starved  of  its  proper 
nourishment.  But  "  it  is  not  for  us  to  condemn,"  she  adds,  "  who  have 
never  had  the  same  burden  laid  on  us  ;  it  is  not  for  pygmies  at  their  ease  to 
criticise  the  writhings  of  the  Titan  chained  to  the  rock."  There  are  humor 
and  poetry,  lit  up  by  a  flashing  and  glancing  irony,  in  Heine's  famous  dictum, 
"The  Englishman  loves  liberty  like  his  lawful  wife,  the  Frenchman  loves  her 
like  his  mistress,  the  German  loves  her  like  his  old  grandmother.  And  yet, 
after  all,  no  one  can  ever  tell  how  things  may  turn  out.  The  grumpy  English- 
man, in  an  ill  temper  with  his  wife,  is  capable  of  some  day  putting  a  rope 
round  her  neck  and  taking  her  to  be  sold  at  Smithfield.  The  inconstant 
Frenchman  may  become  unfaithful  to  his  adored  mistress,  and  be  seen  flutter- 
ing about  the  Palais  Royal  after  another.  But  the  German  will  never  quite 
abandon  his  old  grandmother;  he  will  always  keep  for  her  a  nook  by  the 
chimney-corner,  where  she  can  tell  her  fairy-stories  to  the  listening  children." 

Heine  has  asserted  his  kinship  with  Byron.  There  is,  indeed,  a  strong 
affinity  between  his  humor  and  that  of  Don  Juan  and  of  Beppo.  The  cyni- 
cism, the  mockery  of  others  and  of  self,  the  hatred  of  hypocrisy  and  cant, 
dwell  alike  in  both.     Examples  are  easy  to  cull  : 

So  for  a  good  old-gentlemanly  vice 
Methinks  I  must  take  up  with  avarice. 

Don  yuan.  Canto  i.,  Stanza  216. 
There's  naught,  no  doubt,  so  much  the  spirit  calms 
As  rum  and  true  religion. 

Ibid.,  Canto  ii..  Stanza  34. 
He  was  the  mildest-mannered  man 
That  eyer  scuttled  ship  or  cut  a  throat. 

Ihid.,  Canto  iii..  Stanza  41. 
That  all-softening,  overpowering  knell. 
The  tocsin  of  the  soul,  the  dinner-bell. 

Jbid.,  Canto  v..  Stanza  49. 

Here  we  have  the  same  startling  transitions,  the  tricksy  malice,  the  wild 
laugh  full  in  the  face  of  an  admiring  reader,  that  Heine  so  delights  in. 

Irony  of  Fate,  or  Sarcasm  of  Destiny,  two  familiar  phrases  embody- 
ing the  truth  which  may  be  found  expressed  or  implied  in  the  literature  of 
most  countries  as  the  result  of  the  common  observation  and  experience  of 
mankind.  History  and  the  daily  life  of  all  of  us  teem  with  examples  of 
objects  long  and  impatiently  pursued  attained  at  last  with  indifference  or  dis- 
48 


5 66  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

gust ;  of  changes  anticipated  with  anxiety  or  dread  which  have  brought  with 
them  the  fulfilment  of  the  most  ardent  wishes  ;  of  events  from  which  the 
utmost  good  or  evil  has  been  expected  which  have  passed  without  leaving  a 
trace  ;  and  of  persons  or  things  which  have  hardly  been  heeded  at  all  yet  which 
have  turned  out  to  be  the  arbiters  or  the  turning-points  of  our  fortunes.  When, 
after  an  interval,  we  look  back,  we  are  in  a  position  to  see  the  full  extent  of 
this  mockery  of  fate.  It  is  a  consciousness  of  this  great  truth  that  forms  the 
pathos  and  the  power  of  the  old  Greek  drama.  Nowhere  is  it  enunciated 
more  strikingly  than  in  two  master-works  of  Sophocles.  In  the  midst  of  the 
public  confusion  and  misery  with  which  "CEdipus  Rex"  opens,  the  royal 
house  alone  is  calm  and  secure.  The  king,  beloved  and  revered,  is  the  ob- 
ject towards  which  all  eyes  are  turned  for  succor.  Yet  this  very  man  not 
only  is,  but  by  unconscious  steps  proves  himself  to  be,  the  very  fount  and 
source  of  the  calamity,  and  is  left  at  the  end  of  the  play  a  hopeless,  self- 
blinded  outcast.  Reversing  the  picture,  we  see,  apparently,  in  the  first  scenes 
of  "  CEdipus  Coloneus,"  the  same  fallen  and  pitiable  being.  Yet  this  seemingly 
destitute  wanderer  is  now  the  object  of  the  special  protection  of  heaven  ;  he 
is  not  only  a  pious  but  a  sacred  and  prophetic  man,  and  two  powerful  states 
are  to  contend  with  each  other  for  the  possession  of  his  person  and  the  right 
of  paying  honor  to  his  tomb.  The  reader  hardly  needs  to  be  reminded  of 
the  tremendous  parallel  in  the  opening  scenes  of  "  King  Lear." 

Irrepressible  Conflict,  a  locution  current  during  the  anti-slavery  agita- 
tion, supposed  to  have  been  originated  by  William  H.  Seward  in  an  address  to 
a  public  meeting  at  Rochester,  New  York,  October  25,  1S58:  "  It  is  an  irre- 
pressible conflict  between  opposing  and  enduring  forces," — i.e..  Freedom  and 
Slavery.  If  not  invented,  the  phrase  at  least  was  brought  into  prominence 
by  him  through  this  utterance. 

Isabella.  This  color,  a  sort  of  yellow,  was  chosen  by  the  great  Conde  for 
his  own.  The  origin  of  the  name  is  curious.  When  the  Spaniards  were 
besieging  Ostend,  in  1601,  the  Archduchess  Isabella,  wishing  to  encourage 
the  troops,  and  thinking  success  near  at  hand,  made  a  vow  of  never  changing 
her  linen  before  she  entered  the  town.  Unfortunately  for  this  princess,  the 
siege  lasted  three  years  longer.  It  may  be  conceived  that  during  this  time  her 
linen  lost  some  of  its  original  brightness ;  and  her  ladies,  to  console  her  and  to 
follow  her  example,  had  their  linen  dyed  of  a  color  which  afterwards  became 
the  fashion,  and  which  was  called  Isabella. 

Isolation.  That  we  are  alone  in  this  world,  that  each  man  lives  in  a  her- 
mitage of  his  own  thoughts  and  carries  a  great  silence  about  with  him,  is  a 
sentiment  that  finds  constant  expression  in  literature,  nowhere  more  beautifully 
than  in  Matthew  Arnold's  stanza, — 

Yes  !  in  the  sea  of  life  enisled, 

With  echoing  straits  between  us  thrown. 
Dotting  the  shoreless  watery  wild. 

We  mortal  millions  live  alone. 
The  islands  feel  the  enclasping  flow. 
And  then  their  endless  bounds  they  know. 

Switzerland. 

Thackeray  has  put  the  idea  into  humorous  prose  in  the  following  passage 
from  "  Pendennis  :" 

How  lonely  we  are  in  the  world  !  how  selfish  and  secret  of  everybody  !  .  .  .  Ah,  sir,  a 
distinct  universe  walks  about  under  your  hat  and  under  mine, — all  things  in  nature  are  different 
to  each, — the  woman  we  look  at  has  not  the  same  features,  the  dish  we  eat  from  has  not  the 
same  taste  to  one  and  the  other,— you  and  1  are  but  a  pair  of  infinite  isolations,  with  some 
fellow-islands  a  little  more  or  less  near  to  us. 


Keble  says,  with  gentle  patho%- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  567 

Why  should  we  faint  and  fear  to  live  alone. 

Since  all  alone,  so  Heaven  has  willed,  we  die? 
Nor  even  the  tenderest  heart,  and  next  our  own. 
Knows  half  the  reasons  why  we  smile  and  sigh. 

Tke  Christian  Year:   Twenty-Fourth  Sunday  after  Trinity. 
These  fine  lines  are  by  Christopher  P.  Cranch  : 

Thought  is  deeper  than  all  speech, 

Feeling  deeper  than  all  thought ; 
Souls  to  souls  can  never  teach 

What  unto  themselves  was  taught. 

We  are  spirits  clad  in  veils ; 

Man  by  man  was  never  seen; 
All  our  deep  communing  fails 
To  remove  the  shadowy  screen. 

Stanzas. 
They  have  some  analogy  with  Carlyle  : 

Are  we  not  Spirits,  that  are  shaped  into  a  body,  into  an  Appearance  ;  and  that  fade  away 
again  into  air  and  Invisibility?  Oh,  Heaven,  it  is  mysterious,  it  is  awful  to  consider  that  we 
not  only  carry  a  future  Ghost  within  us  ;  but  are,  in  very  deed,  Ghosts  !  These  Limbs,  whence 
had  we  them  ;  this  stormy  Force  ;  this  life-blood  with  its  burning  Passion?  They  are  dust  and 
shadow  ;  a  Shadow-system  gathered  round  our  Me  ;  wherein,  through  some  moments  or  years, 
the  Divine  Essence  is  to  be  revealed  in  the  Flesh. — Sartor  Resartus  :  Natural  Supernat- 
ural isvi. 

And  Carlyle,  in  turn,  suggests  Marcus  Aurelius  : 

This  Being  of  mine,  whatever  it  really  is,  consists  of  a  little  flesh,  a  little  breath,  and  the 
part  which  governs. — Meditations ,  ii.  2. 

Ivan  Ivanovitch,  a  fictitious  personage  supposed  to  be  the  embodiment 
of  the  peculiarities  of  the  Russian  people,  in  the  same  way  that  John  Bull 
stands  for  the  English  and  Jean  Crapaud  for  the  French.  He  is  represented 
as  a  lazy,  good-natured  fellow. 


J,  the  tenth  letter  in  the  English  alphabet,  originally  only  another  form  of 
i,  and  in  the  Latin,  as  in  the  modern  Italian,  used  with  exactly  the  same  value. 
In  England,  with  a  consistency  which  makes  it  a  rare  jewel  in  our  orthog- 
raphy, it  is  used  only  to  represent  the  consonant  sound  dzh.  There  is  one 
exception,  and  one  only,  the  word  hallelujah,  though  that  is  now  sometimes 
written  as  it  is  pronounced,  halleluiah.  When  that  innovation  is  fully  estab- 
lished there  will  be  no  further  blot  on  the  integrity  of  this  austere  and  uncom- 
promising consonant. 

Jack,  the  diminutive  or  colloquial  form  of  the  name  John.  Etymologists 
have  gone  on  repeating  that  Jack  is  the  Anglicized  form  of  Jacques,  which  in 
its  turn  is  French  for  the  Jacob  of  the  Old  Testament  and  the  James  of  the 
New,  the  Jago,  Diego,  or  lago  of  the  Spaniards,  the  Giacomo  and  Giacobbe 
of  the  Italians,  etc.  When  these  etymologists  come  to  establish  the  connection 
between  Jacob  and  John  they  can  only  perform  a  neat  little  bit  of  philological 
acrobatism,  which  dazzles  but  not  convinces.  The  probability  is  that  there  is 
no  connection  ;  the  etymon  is  all  wrong.  Jack  has  an  entirely  different  origin. 
As  lambkin  and  manikin  are  the  diminutives  of  lamb  and  man,  and  Tompkin 
and  Watkin  of  Thomas  and  Walter,  so  Jonkin  and  Jankin  were  the  original 
diminutives  of  John,  and  they,  in  their  turn,  being  too  long  and  cumbrous  for 
nursery  use,  were  cut  down  to  Jocky  and  Jacky,  and  finally  to  Jock  and  Jack. 
Jack,  the  more  French  of  the  two,  has  always  been  more  current  in  the  south 
of  England,  and  Jock  in  Scotland.  The  frequency  of  the  name  in  all  sections 
of  Great  Britain  has  led  to  the  employment  of  the  diminutive  as  an  equivalent 
for  lad  or  boy,  and,  alone  or  in  composition,  for  a  number  of  tools  and  appli- 


568  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

ances  which  do  the  work  of  a  common  servant  or  are  subjected  to  rough 
usage.  Meat-jack,  smoke-jack,  boot-jack,  jack-knife,  jack-plane, — all  are  so 
many  tributes  to  the  popularity  of  the  name  John.  So  also  are  jack-in-the- 
box,  jack-in-the-pulpit,  jack-o'-lantern,  and  such  proverbial  phrases  as  every 
man  Jack  of  them.  Jack  at  a  pinch,  and  Jack  of  all  trades  {q.  v.).  The  collo- 
quialism, more  common  in  America  than  in  England,  which  nicknames  the 
knave  in  cards  as  the  Jack,  bears  witness  in  like  manner  to  its  universal 
applicability.  A  common  seaman  is  still  a  Jack-tar.  Nor  can  one  pass  over 
the  oft-quoted  cases  of  the  black-jack,  the  jack-fool,  the  union-jack,  and  the 
jack-pudding,  or  the  extension  of  the  name  to  the  animal  world,  in  the  jack- 
daw, the  jack,  or  pike,  and  the  jackanapes. 

Jack  of  all  trades,  or  Jack  at  all  trades,  often  quoted  with  the  addi- 
tion "  and  master  of  none,"  a  colloquial  expression  for  a  person  who  has 
many  accomplishments  but  no  serious  and  settletl  pursuit,  who  does  a  number 
of  things  cleverly  and  not  one  pre-eminently  well,  who  knows  a  little  of 
everything  and  knows  that  little  wrong. 

In  the  middle  of  the  eighteenth  century  England  appears  to  have  been  full 
of  gentry  who,  having  a  vast  amount  of  misinformation  on  all  possible  sub- 
jects, were  willing  to  impart  it  for  a  consideration,  and  who  employed  the 
leisure  left  them  by  their  professorial  duties  in  vaiious  and  apparently  incom- 
patible branches  of  trade.  A  single  specimen  will  suffice.  Here  is  the  way 
the  famous  Roger  Giles  described  himself  in  hand-bill  advertisements  : 

Roger  Giles,  Imperceptible  Penetrator,  Surgin,  Paroch  Clarke,  &c.,  Romford,  Essex,  hin- 
forms  Ladis  and  Gentlemen  that  he  cuts  their  teeth  and  draws  corns  without  waiten  a  moment. 
Blisturs  on  the  lowest  turms,  and  fysics  at  a  penny  a  peace.  Sells  god-fathers  cordial  and 
strap-ile,  and  undertakes  to  keep  any  Ladis  nales  by  the  year  and  so  on.  Young  Ladis  and 
Gentlemen  tort  the  heart  of  rideing,  and  the  gramer  language  in  the  natest  manner,  also  grate 
Kare  takein  to  himprove  there  morals  and  spelling,  sarm  singing  and  whisseling.  Teaches  the 
jewsarp,  and'  instructs  young  Ladis  on  the  gar-tar,  and  plays  the  ho-boy.  Shotish,  poker  and 
all  other  ruls  tort  at  home  and  abroad.  Perfumery  in  all  its  branches.  Sells  all  sorts  of  stashion- 
ary,barth  bricks  and  all  other  sorts  of  sweet-meats,  including  beeswax  postage  stamps  and 
lusifers ;  likewise  taturs,  roobub,  sossages  and  other  garden  stuffs,  also  fruits,  such  as  hard- 
bake, inguns,  toothpicks,  ile  and  tinware,  and  other  eatables.  Sarve,  treacle,  winegar.and  all 
other  hardware.  Further  in  particular  he  has  laid  in  a  stock  of  tripe,  china,  epsom  salts,  lolli- 
pops and  other  pickels,  such  as  oysters,  apples  and  table  beer,  also  silk,  satin  and  hearth- 
stones, and  all  kinds  of  kimistry,  including  wax-dolls,  r.isors,  dutch  cloks,  and  gridirons,  and 
new  laid  eggs  evry  day  by  me,  Roger  Giles.     P.S. — I  lectures  on  joggrefy. 

Jackanapes,  an  impertinent  coxcomb.  A  curious  derivation  of  the  name 
is  that  of  Mr.  W.  Chatto.  In  1379  was  brought  to  Viterbo  the  game  of  cards 
called  by  the  Saracens  naib :  Jackanapes  is  the  Jack  o'  naibs.  Jackanape  is 
the  adjective  form  of  the  word  : 

I  will  teach  a  scurvy  jackanape  priest  to  meddle  and  make. 

Merry  Wives  of  Windsor,  Act  i.,  Sc.  4. 

Jack-Pudding,  a  buffoon.  It  is  curious  that  each  country  names  its  stage 
buffoon  from  its  favorite  viand.  The  Dutch  call  him  "  Pickelharing"  (soused 
herring);  the  Germans,  "  Hans-Wurst"  (jack-sausage);  the  French,  "Jean 
Potage  ;"  the  Italians,  "Macaroni  ;"  and  the  English,  "Jack-Pudding." 

Jacksonites,  a  nickname  for  the  followers  of  Andrew  Jackson,  in  vogue 
between  1821  and  1832,  as  opposed  to  the  Adavisitcs,  followers  of  John  Quincy 
Adams.  According  to  a  standing  joke,  common  for  a  generation  after  Jack- 
son's death,  there  were  still  "  Jacksonites"  in  the  rural  districts  who  con- 
tinued to  vote  for  the  "  Hero  of  New  Orleans,"  quite  oblivious  of  his  death, 
or  even  stoutly  denying  it,  and  denouncing  the  report  as  a  Whig  lie. 

Jacobins,  the  name  by  which  a  coterie  or  political  club  of  turbulent 
extremists   in  the  French  Revolution  is  generally  known.     The   club  was 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  569 

formed  at  Versailles  in  1789,  under  the  name  of  the  Club  Breton.  The 
name  of  "Jacobins"  had  been  previously  applied  in  Fiance  to  the  Dominican 
friars,  from  the  Rue  St. -Jacques  in  Paris,  where  ihey  first  established  them- 
selves in  1219,  and  when  the  Breton  Club  removed  to  Paris  they  met  in  the 
hall  of  the  former  convent  of  the  Dominicans,  whence  they  and  their  partisans 
in  turn  were  called  Jacobins. 

Jacobites,  the  name  given  in  England  to  the  adherents  of  James  II. 
and  his  son  and  grandson,  from  Jacobus,  the  Latin  form  of  James. 

Jacquerie,  La,  a  peasants'  insurrection  in  France,  1358.  The  complain- 
ing peasantry  had  been  facetiously  referred  for  redress  of  their  grievances  to 
Jacques  Bon-homme  (Johnny  Goodman,  a  sort  of  fairy  good-luck),— ;>.,  no- 
body. At  length  a  leader  appeared  who  called  himself  Jacques  Bonhomme, 
and  declared  war  to  the  death  against  every  gentilhomme  in  France.  In  six 
weeks'  time  some  twelve  thousand  of  the  insurgents  were  cut  down,  including 
Jacques  Bonhomme  their  leader. 

Jacques,  a  generic  name  of  the  poor  artisan  class  in  France.  Jacques  is 
a  sort  of  short  cotton  waist  or  tunic  without  sleeves  : 

Jacques,  il  me  faut  troubler  ton  somme  ; 

Dans  le  village  un  gros  huissier 

Rode  et  court,  suivi  du  messier. 
C'est  pour  I'impot,  \k  !  mon  pauvre  homme. 
Lfeve-toi,  Jacques,  leve-toi, 
Voici  venir  I'huissier  du  roi. 

BiRANGER  (1831). 

Jag,  in  American  slang,  a  state  of  intoxication.  Originally  jag  meant  a  small 
\oad,  and  when  load  grew  to  be  a  synonyme  for  a  "  drunk,"  jag  was  humor- 
ously substituted  for  a  small  drunk.  But  it  is  now  applied  to  the  most  im- 
posing form  of  intoxication  : 

The  word  "jag"  can  be  found  in  any  diction.iry,  but  its  popular  meaning,  in  present  use, 
is  not  there  explained.  It  may  be  profitable  to  trace  the  etymology  of  the  word  from  its 
probable  origin. 

Cassell's  "  Encyclopaedic  Dictionary"  says, — 

Jag.  I.  A  small  load,  as  of  hay,  grain,  or  straw.     Etym.  doubtful. 

2.  A  saddle-bag,  a  pedlar's  wallet. 

Stormonth  says, — 

Jag  (Gaelic  ^^^).  The  nodding  of  the  head  ;  short  irregular  sounds,  then  the  sort  of  figures 
traced  out  by  the  tremulous,  irregular  movements  of  bodies. 

Jagger.  One  who  jags,  in  Scot,  a  pedlar. 

Jaggery.  The  Indian  name  for  a  kind  of  coarse  dark  sugar  obtained  from  the  juice  of 
palms  and  the  sugar-cane. 

Here  are  four  possible  origins  of  the  root  jag  which  is  now  used  in  its  purity. 

I.  The  pedlar  idea,  the  condition  of  mind  and  body  most  frequently  to  be  noticed  in  per- 
ambulating merchants  and  tinkers.  2.  {a)  The  nodding  of  the  head  as  in  drowsiness  ;  and 
{b)  the  irregular  line  described  by  bodies  moving  uncertainly  along  a  plane,  as  a  sidewalk. 

3.  The  suggestion  of  acrid  alcoholic  strength  in  a  solid,  as  sugar,  which  becomes  fluid  easily. 

4.  The  common  provincial  use  of  the  word  to  express  the  idea  of  a  light  burden,  a  small  load 
of  irregular  shape,  as,  "  a  little  jag  of  hay"  which  is  gleaned  with  a  pitchfoik  in  the  wake  of 
the  harvest-wagon  which  carries  the  bulk  of  the  crop. 

The  present  use  of  the  word  comes  most  clearly,  perhaps,  from  the  last  of  these  four  pos- 
sible sources,  but  incidental  shades  of  meaning  are  seen  to  be  derived  from  the  others.  Ihe 
jag  is  that  state  of  exhilaration  produced  by  the  absorption  in  the  human  body  of  a  greater 
or  less  quantity  of  alcoholic  liquor.  In  its  primary  use  it  implied  only  "  a  little  load,"  but 
the  word  is  elastic.  . 

Its  grand  divisions  are  :  {a)  The  Quiet  Gentlemanly  Jag  ;  (3)  the  Windward  Jag,  in  which 
the  subject  appears  to  stand  in  great  need  of  a  centre-board  to  enable  him  to  steer  a  reasona- 
bly straight  course  {rf.  Stormonth  supra) ;  (c)  the  Running  Jag,  under  whose  influence 
the  man  finds  it  necessary  to  progress  in  a  trot  to  avoid  falling  over  forward,— a  Chicago 
variety  of  the  condition  ;  and  (</)  the  Rip-staving  Jag,  used  as  a  synonyme  for  the  ^f']}"S 
Drunk,  where  the  man  betrays  an  overweening  desire  to  maim,  slaughter,  slay,  and  deal 
d?.mnation  round  with  a  free  and  impartial  hand.  This  last  species  of  jag  has  no  special 
habitat. — New  York  Evening  Sun  (1891). 

48* 


570  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Jarnac,  Le  coup  de  (Fr.,  "  Jarnac's  thrust"),  a  famous  thrust  in  fencing, 
named  after  its  inventor. 

Chasteneraye  and  Jarnac,  both  peers  of  France,  had  fallen  out  over  the  virtue  of  the  latter's 
mother-in-law.  The  king  had  interested  himself  in  the  matter,  and  it  was  finally  settled  that 
the  whole  question  should  be  referred  to  the  arbitrament  of  arms.  As  it  chanced,  Chasteneraye 
was  one  of  the  first  swordsmen  of  France,  so  that  Jarnac  exhausted  his  ingenuity  in  devising 
some  abstruse  and  little-known  weapon  by  means  of  which  he  might  be  more  on  an  equality 
with  his  adversary.  The  names  of  thirty  such  arms  were  drawn  up  and  submitted  to  the 
judges,  who,  however,  to  Jarnac's  despair,  laid  them  all  aside  and  decided  upon  the  sword. 
In  his  difficulty  he  sought  the  advice  of  a  tried  old  Italian  swordsman,  who  bade  him  be  of 
good  heart,  and  confided  to  him  a  secret  trick  of  swordsmanship  devised  by  himself  and  never 
before  taught  to  mortal  man. 

Armed  with  this  horrid  ruse,  Jarnac  repaired  to  the  scene  of  the  encounter,  where,  in  the 
presence  of  the  king,  Henry  II.,  and  all  the  high  officials  of  the  kingdom,  the  two  litigants 
were  put  face  to  face.  Chasteneraye,  confident  in  his  skill,  pressed  hotly  upon  the  less  expe- 
rienced Jarnac,  when  suddenly  the  latter,  to  the  astonishment  of  the  spectators,  put  in  such  a 
cut  as  had  never  before  been  seen,  and  severed  the  tendon  of  his  enemy's  left  leg.  An  instant 
later,  by  a  repetition  of  the  same  stroke,  he  cut  the  sinew  of  the  right  one,  and  the  unfortunate 
Chasteneraye  fell  hamstrung  to  the  earth.  In  this  sore  plight  he  still  continued  upon  his  knees 
to  make  passes  at  his  antagonist  and  to  endeavor  to  carry  on  the  combat.  His  sword,  how- 
ever, was  quickly  struck  from  his  grasp,  and  he  lay  at  the  mercy  of  his  conqueror.  The  wily 
Jarnac  was  disposed,  very  much  against  the  customs  of  the  time,  to  grant  him  his  life,  but  the 
humiliation  was  too  much  for  the  beaten  and  crippled  man,  and,  refusing  all  assistance,  he 
allowed  himself  to  bleed  to  death.  The  "  coup  de  Jarnac"  in  sword-play  still  remains  as  a 
memorial  of  this  encounter. —  'Ike  Cornhill  Magazine. 


Jay,  in  American  slang,  a  fool,  a  simpleton,  a  guy, — of  which  latter  word 
it  may  be  a  corruption.  The  expression  is  much  used  in  the  theatrical  profes- 
sion, both  as  a  noun  and  as  an  adjective.  A  jay  town  means  a  town  which 
does  not  patronize  stage  performances,  and  a  jay  audience  is  a  slim,  or  an 
unappreciative,  audience. 

Jayhawkers,  a  name  for  guerillas  or  bush-rangers,  which  originated  during 
the  Kansas  troubles  in  1856,  and  was  subsequently  applied  generally  to  po- 
litical marauders ;  probably  derived  from  jay-hawk,  a  bird  of  prey  noted 
for  its  wanton  ferocity,  killing  other  creatures,  it  is  said,  in  sport.  In  later 
years  the  inhabitants  of  Kansas  humorously  nicknamed  themselves  Jay- 
hawkers. 

Jeames,  an  obsolete  form  of  the  name  James,  which  was  one  time  often 
spelt  thus  and  so  pronounced.  It  was  revived  for  ironical  purpose  by  Thack- 
eray, who  made  it  a  contemptuous  embodiment  of  flunkyism,  and  since  the 
publication  of  "Jeames's  Diary"  it  has  obtained  proverbial  currency  as  a 
designation  for  a  footman  or  a  flunky. 

A  poor  clergyman,  or  a  poor  military  man,  may  have  no  more  than  three  hundred  a  year ; 
but  I  heartily  venerate  his  endeavors  to  preserve  his  girls  from  the  society  of  the  -»  "'"' 
hall  and  the  delicate  attentions  of  Jeames.— A.  K.  H.  Boyd. 


It  has  also  been  applied  as  an  epithet  to  the  London  Morning  Post,  the 
organ  of  the  "haristocracy." 

Jean  Crapaud,  anglice  "Johnny  Frog."  A  fictitious  personage,  the 
humorous  embodiment  of  the  idiosyncrasies  of  the  French  people,  as  Brother 
Jonathan  is  of  the  Yankee. 

Jean  de  Paris,  a  name  applied  with  sardonic  humor  to  the  guillotine. 

Jean  des  Vignes.  Jean  was  the  name  and  des  Vignes  the  sobriquet  of  a 
drunken  marionette  performer  of  considerable  ability.  The  French  jongleurs 
call  the  poupee  to  which  they  address  themselves  "Jean  des  Vignes,"  and  the 
French  Protestants  of  the  sixteenth  century  so  called  "  the  host."  ^yhen  a 
person  does  an  ill  action  the  French  say,  "  II  fait  comme  Jean  des  Vignes ;" 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  57' 

an  illicit  marriage  is  called  "  le  tnariage  de  Jean  des  Vignes."    Hence  Assoucy 
says,  "  Moi,  pauvre  sot,  plus  sot  que  Jean  des  Vignes  !" 

Jean  !  que  dire  sur  Jean  ?  c'est  un  terrible  nom, 

Qui  jamais  accompagne  une  epithete  honnete. 
Jean  des  Vignes,  Jean  ligne.  ^  Oil  vais-je?     Trouves  bon 

Qu'en  si  beau  cherain  je  m'arrete. 

Virgile  Travesti,  vii. 

Jeddart,  or  Jedwood,  Justice.  Jeddart  or  Jethart  was  the  former,  and 
is  still  the  local,  name  for  Jedburgh,  the  capital  of  the  shire  of  Roxburgh, 
Scotland.  Jedwood  designates  the  whole  district  lying  on  the  little  river  Jed,  on 
which  Jedburgh  stands.  In  ancient  times  this  burgh  was  a  place  of  consider- 
able strength  and  importance.  From  its  situation  on  the  borders,  as  well  as 
from  the  character  of  the  clans  by  which  it  was  surrounded,  it  was  especially 
exposed  to  violence  and  rapine,  and  was  repeatedly  sacked  by  the  English, 
and  once,  at  least,  burned  to  the  ground.  The  long-suffering  of  its  natives  at 
length  came  to  an  end,  and  when  an  Englishman  or  other  marauder  was 
captured  the  rule  came  to  be,  "  A  short  shrift  and  a  long  rope."  But  the 
canny  burghers  did  not  altogether  dispense  with  legal  forms.  After  the  culprit 
was  executed,  an  assize  was  held  by  the  Warden  of  the  Marches,  evidence 
heard,  and  sentence  pronounced  in  due  form  of  law.  Hence  the  well-known 
rhyme, — 

You've  heard  men  talk  of  Jeddart  law. 
Whereby  they  first  do  hang  and  draw. 
Then  sit  in  judgment  after. 

A  variant  of  this  is, — 

I  oft  have  heard  of  Jeddart  law, 

And  shook  my  sides  with  laughter, 
Where  in  the  morn  they  hang  and  draw. 

And  sit  in  judgment  after. 

Scott  frequently  alludes  to  Jeddart  law  in  his  poems  and  border  minstrelsy. 
In  his  "  P'air  Maid  of  Perth"  (ch.  xxxii.),  Douglas,  dealing  with  the  murderers 
of  Rothesay,  asks,  "  Have  we  not  some  Jedwood  men  in  our  troop  ?"  and, 
receiving  an  affirmative  reply,  says,  "  Call  me  an  inquest  of  these  together ; 
they  are  all  good  men  and  true,  saving  a  little  shifting  for  their  living.  Do 
you  see  to  the  execution  of  these  fellows,  while  I  hold  a  court  in  the  great 
hall,  and  we'll  try  whether  the  jury  or  the  provost-marshal  do  their  work  first ; 
we  will  have  Jedwood  justice, — hang  in  haste  and  try  at  leisure."  Macaulay 
alludes  to  "Jeddart  justice"  in  his  essay  upon  Moore's  "Life  of  Byron." 

Other  accounts  have  been  given  to  explain  the  expression.  Thus,  Crawford, 
in  his  Memoirs,  says,  "Jedburgh  justice — 'first  hang  a  man  and  syne  judge 
him' — took  its  rise  in  1574,  on  the  occasion  of  the  Regent  Morton  trying  and 
condemning  with  vast  precipitation  a  vast  number  of  people."  But  had  this 
explanation,  or  any  other  than  the  popular  one,  been  well  founded,  it  would 
without  doubt  have  been  noticed  by  Scott.  Analogous  expressions  are  "Cu- 
par Justice,"  "  Abingdon  Law,"  "  Lydford  Law,"  and  even  our  own  "  Lynch 
Law."  "Abingdon  Law"  takes  its  name  from  Abingdon,  Berkshire,  Eng- 
land, where,  during  the  Commonwealth,  Major-General  Brown  used  first  to 
hang  his  prisoners  and  then  try  them.  Lydford  is  an  obscure  corporation 
of  Devonshire,  where  a  court  of  stannaries  (certain  royal  prerogatives  con- 
nected with  the  working  of  the  tin-mines)  was  anciently  held.  The  saw, 
"  First  hang  and  draw,  then  hear  the  case  by  Lydford  iaw,"  is  supposed  to 
allude  to  some  absurd  rulings  of  the  mayor  and  corporation,  who  were  but 
mean  and  illiterate  persons. 

The  same  speedy  justice  was  practised  in  Spain  at  Peralvillo,  where  the 
Holy  Brotherhood  used  to  execute  without  trial  robbers  taken  red-hand. 
Hence  the  Spanish  saying,  "  Peralvillo  justice,  after  the  man  is  hanged  try  him." 


572  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

JeCFersonian  simplicity,  an  allusion  much  affected  in  political  speech, 
especially  by  the  Democrats.  The  reference  is  to  the  intense  dislike  displayed 
by  Thomas  Jefferson  to  any  form  of  ostentation.  It  is  said  that  he  even 
objected  to  the  title  Mister.  He  abolished  the  Presidential  levees,  and  the 
story  was  long  told,  though  latterly  challenged  as  apocryphal,  that  in  going  to 
the  Capitol  to  assume  the  Presidency  he  rode  on  horseback  alone,  and,  dis- 
mounting, tied  his  horse  to  the  hitching-post. 

Je  ne  sals  quoi,  literally,  "I  know  not  what,"  but  used  both  in  French  and 
in  English — it  may  almost  be  parsed  as  an  English  substantive — in  the  sense 
of  the  indefinable,  of  a  vague  and  nameless  charm.  The  more  modern  chic  has 
to  a  certain  extent  supplanted  it. 

I  dare  say  you  have  heard  and  read  of  the  je  ne  sais  quoi,  both  in  French  and  English,  for 
the  expression  is  now  adopted  into  our  language,  but  I  question  whether  you  have  any  clear 
idea  of  it,  and  indeed  it  is  more  easily  felt  than  defined.  It  is  a  most  inestimable  quality,  and 
adorns  every  other.  I  will  endeavor  to  give  you  a  general  notion  of  it,  though  1  cannot  an 
exact  one;  experience  must  teach  it  you,  and  will  if  you  attend  to  it.  It  is,  in  my  opinion, 
a  compound  of  all  the  agreeable  qualities  of  body  and  mind,  in  which  no  one  of  them  pre- 
dominates in  such  a  manner  as  to  give  exclusion  to  any  other.  It  is  not  mere  wit,  mere  beauty, 
mere  learning,  nor  indeed  mere  any  one  thing,  that  produces  it,  though  they  all  contribute 
something  towards  it.  It  is  owing  to  this  je  ne  sais  quoi  that  one  takes  a  liking  to  some  one 
particular  person  at  first  rather  than  to  another.  One  feels  one's  self  prepossessed  in  favor  of 
that  person  without  being  enough  acquainted  with  him  to  judge  of  his  intrinsic  merits  or 
talents,  and  one  finds  himself  inclined  to  suppose  him  to  have  good  sense,  good  nature,  and 
good  humor.  A  genteel  address,  graceful  motions,  a  pleasing  elocution,  and  elegancy  of  style 
are  powerful  ingredients  in  this  compound.  It  is,  in  short,  an  extract  of  all  the  Graces.  Here 
you  will,  perhaps,  ask  me  to  define  the  Graces,  which  I  can  only  do  by  the/^  ne  sais  quoi, 
as  I  can  only  define  the  je  ne  sais  quoi  by  the  Graces.  No  one  person  possesses  them  all, 
but  happy  he  who  possesses  the  most,  and  wretched  he  who  possesses  none  of  them. — Ches- 
terfield :  Letters  to  his  Godson. 

Jenkins's  Ear.  At  the  beginning  of  the  eighteenth  century  Spain  claimed 
and  sought  to  enforce  a  monopoly  of  the  trade  with  her  New  World  colonies. 
Though  England  admitted  the  claim,  her  sailors  constantly  evaded  it,  and 
carried  on  a  large  contraband  trade  with  these  colonies.  On  April  20,  1731, 
the  English  vessel  Rebecca,  Captain  Robert  Jenkins,  was  visited  by  the  coast- 
guards of  Havana.  Finding  nothing  contraband,  they  sought  to  extort  a 
confession  from  the  captain  by  hanging  him  up  to  the  yard-arm,  with  the 
cabin-boy  fastened  to  his  feet  as  a  make-weight.  The  rope  broke,  however, 
and,  finding  him  still  recalcitrant,  they  then  cut  off  one  of  his  ears,  and  bade 
him  take  it  to  his  king.  Jenkins  returned  to  London  and  claimed  vengeance. 
But  England  did  not  care  to  quarrel  with  Spain  just  then,  and  all  was  appar- 
ently forgotten.  Seven  years  afterwards  some  fresh  insults  offered  by  the 
Spaniards  to  English  sailors  brought  up  again  the  topic  of  Jenkins's  ear.  He 
had  preserved  it  in  wadding,  and  exhibited  it  before  the  House  of  Commons 
in  March,  1738.  When  asked  concerning  his  feelings  during  the  ordeal,  he 
replied  that  he  had  coinmended  his  soul  to  God  and  his  cause  to  his  country. 
The  British  nation  was  aroused.  "Jenkins's  ear"  and  Jenkins's  trust  in  his 
coimtry  formed  party  watchwords,  and  were  echoed  and  re-echoed  throughout 
the  country.  The  sailors  went  about  London  wearing  the  inscription  "Ear 
for  ear"  on  their  hats.  The  large  merchants  and  ship-owners  espoused  their 
cause.     Pope  wrote  verses  on  the  subject : 

The  Spanish  own  they  did  a  waggish  thing, 
Who  cropt  our  ears  and  sent  them  to  the  king. 

William  Pitt  and  the  nation  in  general  desired  war  with  Spain.  "Walpole 
reluctantly  yielded  to  popular  clamor.  On  July  10,  1739,  an  order  in  council 
was  issued  for  reprisals  and  granting  letters  of  marque.  On  October  19  war 
was  formally  declared.  Jenkins's  ear  had  served  its  purpose.  If  the  English 
people  were  poetical,  says  Carlyle,  this  ear  would  have  become  a  constella* 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  573 

tion,  like  Berenice's  Crown.  Yet  there  were  not  wanting  doubters  then  and 
afterwards.  Burke,  in  his  "  Regicide's  Peace,"  scornfully  alludes  to  "  the  fable 
of  Jenkins's  ear."  Walpole's  biographer  calls  it  "a  ridiculous  story."  Tyndal 
insinuates  that  Jenkins  had  lost  his  ear  on  a  quite  different  occasion.  Others 
boldly  asserted  that  it  had  been  left  behind  on  the  pillory.  Finally,  according 
to  Horace  Walpole,  when  Jenkins  died  it  was  found  that  his  ear  had  never 
been  cut  off  at  all  ! 

Jericho,  Go  to,  is  an  expression  that  has  lost  its  birthright  of  appositeness 
and  is  now  used  as  a  sort  of  euphemism  for  "  Go  to  Hades."  Originally  it 
was  an  allusion  to  the  scriptural  story  found  in  II.  Samuel  x.  5,  as  well  as  in 
I.  Chronicles  xix.  5, — how  that  when  David's  servants  had  half  their  beards 
cut  off  and  were  not  presentable  at  court  the  king  advised  them  "  to  tarry  at 
Jericho  till  their  beards  were  grown."  Hence  young  men  were  bidden  "  to 
tarry  in  Jericho,"  or  "stay  in  Jericho,"  meaning,  "Wait  till  your  beard  is 
grown  ;"  satirically  equivalent  to  saying  that  the  party  addressed  was  young, 
or  "fresh,"  or  inexperienced.  The  transition  from  this  to  sending  to  Jericho 
was  easy  enough. 

The  following  lines  from  Heyward's  "  Hierarchie"  may  be  quoted  in 
evidence  : 

Who  would  to  curb  such  insolence,  I  know. 

Bid  sucR  young  boyes  to  stay  in  Jericho 

Until  their  beards  were  growne,  their  wits  more  staid. 

Book  iv.,  p.  108. 

About  fifty  years  ago  a  ribald  rhyme  was  current,  to  the  following  effect : 

Who  went  to  Jericho 
To  let  their  beards  grow  ? 

There  was  Juda^  Iscariot, 

And  Captain  Marrj'at, 
And  Harriet  Martineau. 

Another  explanation  is  that  King  Henry  VIII.  had  a  house  in  the  Manor 
of  Blackmore,  some  seven  miles  from  Chehnsford,  whither  he  used  to  retire 
when  he  wished  to  be  free  from  disturbance  or  to  indulge  in  animal  pleasures. 
To  this  place,  which  had  formerly  been  a  priory,  the  name  Jericho  was  given 
as  a  disguise.  Hence  the  answer  "  He  has  gone  to  Jericho"  conveyed  the 
information  to  all  inquirers  after  the  monarch  that  he  was  amusing  himself  in 
Essex.  In  iSSo  the  Rev.  W.  Callandar,  vicar  of  Blackmore,  wrote  that  the 
place  "  habitually  goes  by  the  name  of  the  Jericho  Estate,  or  the  Blackmore 
Priory.  There  is  a  brooklet  running  through  the  village  which  I  have  heard 
called  the  '  Jordan.' "  So  far,  so  good.  But  there  is  no  evidence  that  the 
slang  phrase  arose  from  this  custom  of  Henry  VIII.,  especially  as  the  ex- 
planation first  given  is  entirely  satisfactory. 

Jerry-builder,  a  term  for  an  inefficient,  careless,  or  hasty  builder,  used  in 
England  with  the  same  sense  as  Buddensiek  is  in  America.  Its  origin  is  also 
very  similar.  "  Jerry  Brothers,  Builders  and  Contractors,"  was  a  Liverpool 
firm  of  the  early  part  of  this  century,  who  earned  an  unpleasant  notoriety  by 
putting  up  rapidly-built,  showy,  but  ill-constructed  houses,  so  that  their  name 
eventually  became  generic  for  such  builders  and  their  work,  first  in  Liver- 
pool and  afterwards  throughout  England.  It  will  be  remembered  that  Charles 
Buddensiek  was  a  builder  of  flimsy  apartment-houses  in  New  York.  A 
row  of  these  buildings  collapsed  before  they  were  completed,  burying  several 
of  the  workmen  under  its  ruins.  Buddensiek  was  convicted  of  manslaughter 
and  sentenced  to  ten  years'  imprisonment. 

Jersey  lightning,  an  American  phrase  for  apple-jack  or  apple-brandy,  a 
spirit  distilled  from  cider,  for  which  the  Stale  of  New  Jersey  is  particularly 


^74  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

famous.  Lightning  is  an  old  cant  term  for  liquor.  .  George  Parker's  Dic- 
tionary of  1789  defines  it  as  a  quartern  of  gin. 

The  guests  now  being  met. 

The  first  thing  that  was  done 
Was  handing  round  the  kid, 

That  all  might  smack  his  man. 
A  flash  of  lightning  next 

Bets  lipt  each  cull  and  frow. 
Ere  they  to  church  did  pad 

To  have  it  christened  Joe. 

Life's  Paint  (1789). 

Jerusalem  Artichoke.  A  curious  example  of  folk-etymology  is  that 
which  has  turned  the  Italian  Girasole  Articiocco  \w\.o  "Jerusalem  artichoke." 
The  Italian  name  means  the  sunflower  artichoke,  the  vegetable  (Heliatithus 
tiiberosiis)  being  a  perennial  of  the  same  family  as  the  common  sunflower 
{Heliantkus  anmius),  which  it  resembles  in  stem,  leaves,  and  flowers.  A 
further  extension  of  the  name-error  turns  the  soup  made  from  the  artichoke 
tubers  into  "  Palestine  Soup." 

Jesse,  To   give    him,    an   Americanism,  meaning   to   abuse   a   man,   to 

thrash  him  severely,  sometimes  ijitensified  as  "particular  Jesse"  or  "d d 

particular  Jesse."  Charles  Eliot  Norton  reminds  u§  that  "  Give  'em  Jessie"  was 
a  party  war-cry  current  in  the  Presidential  campaign  of  1856.  "  Fremont, 
the  Republican  candidate,  had  fifteen  years  before  made  a  runaway  match 
with  Jessie,  daughter  of  Thomas  H.  Benton,  and  the  popular  favor  with  which 
runaway  matches  are  apt  to  be  regarded  was  made  much  of  in  this  case,  the 
lady's  name  being  freely  used  in  song  and  story  by  her  husband's  political  sup- 
porters." But  the  phrase  is  much  oider  than  1S56,  and  the  war-cry  was  merely 
a  punning  allusion.  One  derivation  takes  us  back  to  the  days  of  falconry. 
The.  jess  was  a  thong  by  which  the  bird  was  attached  to  the  wrist,  and  when  it 
retrieved  badly  it  appears  to  have  been  the  custom  to  punish  it  by  the  appli- 
cation of  the  thong.  But  Mr.  Leland's  suggestion  is  more  probable,  that  the 
phrase  is  derived  from  the  allusion  in  the  Bible  to  Jesse's  valor  and  the  aid 
which  he  rendered,  a  text  continually  repeated  among  the  Puritans. 

Jesuitical  compositions,  or  Equivoques,  an  ingenious  sort  of  literary 
trifling,  wherein  the  art  consists  in  so  writing  and  arranging  the  lines  that  two 
opposite  meanings  may  be  elicited  according  as  they  are  read  downward  or 
across.  An  early  and  excellent  specimen  was  once  well  known  in  New 
England  as  "The  Jesuit's  Creed,"  and  is  sometimes  attributed  to  Dean  Swift. 
But  Collet,  in  his  "  Relics  of  Literature,"  credits  it  to  the  Weekly  Pacquet 
of  Advice  from  Rome,  No.  23,  May  6,  1679.  At  that  date  Swift  was  in  his 
cradle.     Here  it  is,  in  the  original  Latin  and  in  the  Pacqucfs  translation : 

Pro  fide  teneo  sana  Qua  docet  Anglicana, 

Affirmat  qua  Romana  Videntur  mihi  vana. 

Supremus  quando  rex  est  Tum  plebs  est  fortunata, 

Erraticus  tum  grex  est  Cum  caput  fiat  papa. 

Altari  cum  omatur  Communio  fit  inanis, 

Populus  tum  beatur  Cum  mensa  vina  panis. 

Asini  nomen  meruit  Hunc  niorem  qui  non  capit, 

Missam  qui  deseruit  Catholicus  est  et  sapit. 

I  hold  for  sound  faith  What  England's  church  allows. 

What  Rome's  f.uth  saith  My  conscience  disavows. 

Where  the  king's  head  The  flock  can  take  no  shame 

The  flock's  misled  Who  hold  the  Pope  supreme. 

Where  the  altar's  dressed  The  worship's  scarce  divine 

The  people's  blessed,  Whose  table's  bread  and  wine. 

He's  but  an  ass  Who  their  communion  flies 

Who  shuns  the  mass  Is  catholic  and  wise. 


LITER  A  R  Y  CURIOSITIES. 


575 


A  good  example,  in  prose,  of  the  same  kind  of  drollery  is  afforded  by 
the  following  letter,  said  to  have  been  written  by  Cardinal  Richelieu  to  the 
French  ambassador  in  Rome,  but  probably  an  invention  of  a  later  day  : 
Sir, — Mons.  Compigne,  a  Savoyard  by  birth,  a  Friar  of  the  order  of  Saint  Benedict, 
is  the  man  who  v/ill  present  to  you  as  his  passport  to  your  protection, 
this  letter.  He  is  one  of  the  most  discreet,  the  wisest  and  the  least 
meddling   persons    that    I    have  ever   known     or  have  had   the  pleasure  to  converse  with. 

with      a       letter 


He      has       long  earnestly      solicited       me  to      wri 

to      give        him  a      suitable      character,  togethci 

which      I      have  accordingly      granted      to  his   real 

importunity ;  for,      believe     me.     Sir 


>      favor,      and 

of      credence ; 

,   rather,  I   must   say,   than   to 

his  modesty  is  only  exceeded  by  his  worth. 


I     should     be     sorry    that     you     should     be     wanting  in  serving  him  on  account  of  being 


aformed  of  his  real  character; 
as  some  other  gentlemen  have  been, 
and  those  among  the  best  of  my  friends ; 
I  think  it  my  duty  to  advertise  you 
to  have  especial  attention  to  all  he  does, 
nor  venture  to  say  anything  before  him, 
in  any  sort ;    for   I    may   truly   say,  there   is 


I  should  be  afflicted  if  you 
misled  on  that  score,  who  now  esteem  him, 
wherefore,  and  from  no  other  motive, 
that  you  are  most  particularly  desired 
to  show  him  all  the  respect  imaginable, 
that  may  either  offend  or  displease  him 
no  man    I   love   so   much  as   M.  Compigne, 


hom    I    should    more    regret    to    see     neglected,  as  no  one  can  be  more  worthy  to  be 


none 

received     and     trusted     in     decent     society 

And    I    well    know,    that    as    soon    \ 

shall        become       acquainted       with 

you    will     thank    me    for     this    my    advice 


Base 
you     are 
him     you 


Courtesy     obliges      me      to      desist 
saying  anything  more  on  this  subje 


from     urging 


therelore,  would    it   be  to  injure  him. 

nade     sensible     of     his     virtues  and 

k-ill     love     him    as     I    do ;     and  then 

assurance       I       entertain      of  your 


etc, 


you     further, 
Richelieu. 


The  "  Lansdowne  MSS."  yield  the  following, — numbered  852  in  that  col- 
lection,— which  might  have  been  composed  by  some  Vicar  of  Bray  in  the  time 
of  the  Georges  : 


I  love  with  all  my  heart 
The  Hanoverian  part 
And  for  the  Settlement 
My  conscience  gives  consent 
Most  righteous  is  the  cause 
To  fight  for  George's  laws 
It  is  my  mind  and  heart 
Though  none  will  take  my  part 


The  Tory  party  here 
Most  hateful  do  appear 
I  ever  have  denied 
'Jo  be  on  James's  side 
To  fight  for  such  a  king 
Will  England's  ruin  bring. 
In  this  opinion  I 
Resolve  to  live  and  die. 


The  next  on  our  list  is  said  to  have  been  circulated  among  the  United 
Irishmen  previous  to  the  rebellion  of  1798  : 


The  pomp  of  courts  and  pride  of  kings 
I  prize  above  all  earthly  things 
I  love  my  country,  but  my  king. 
Above  all  men  his  praise  I'll  sing 
The  royal  banners  are  displayed 
And  may  success  the  standard  aid 


I  fain  would  banish  far  from  hence 

The  Rights  of  Man  and  Common  Sense 

Destruction  to  that  odious  name 

The  plague  nf  Princes,  Thomas  Paine 

Defeat  and  ruin  seize  the  cause 

Of  France,  her  liberty  and  laws. 


The  following  was  the  way  an  aristocrat  of  the  old  regime  denounced  the 
French  Revolution  while  seemingly  upholding  it : 


A  la  nouvelle  loi 

Je  renonce  dans  I'ame 

Comme  epreuve  de  ma  foi 

Je  crois  celle  qu'on  blame 

Dieu  vous  donne  la  paix 

Noblesse  desolee 

Qu'il  confonde  i  jamais 

Messieurs  de  I'Assemblee 

The  newly-made  law 
From  my  soul  I  abhor 
My  faith  to  prove  good, 
I  maintain  the  old  code 
May  God  give  you  peace. 
Forsaken  Noblesse, 
May  He  ever  confound 
The  Assembly  all  round 


Je  veux  etre  fidele 
Au  regime  ancien ; 
Je  crois  la  loi  nouvelle 
Opposee  i  tout  bien  ; 
Messieurs  les  Democrates 
Au  diable  allez-vous  en; 
Tous  les  Aristocrates 
Ont  eux  seuls  le  bon  sens. 

'Tis  my  wish  to  esteem 

The  ancient  regime  ; 

I  maintain  the  new  code 

Is  opposed  to  all  good  ; 

Messieurs  Democrats, 

To  the  devil  go  hence  ; 

All  the  Aristocnits 

Are  the  sole  men  of  sense. 


576 


HANDY-BOOK  OF 


The  American  Revolution  produced 

Hark  !  hark  !  the  trumpet  sounds, 
O'er  seas  and  solid  grounds, 
Who  for  King  George  doth  stand. 
Their  ruin  is  at  hand. 
The  acts  of  Parliament, 
I  hate  their  cursed  intent. 
The  Tories  of  the  day. 
They  soon  will  sneak  away, 
Who  non-resistance  hold. 
May  they  for  slaves  be  sold. 
On  Mansfield,  North,  and  Bute, 
Confusion  and  dispute. 
To  North  and  British  lord 
I  wish  a  block  and  cord, 


a  very  good  example  : 

The  din  of  war's  alarms. 
Doth  call  us  all  to  arms  ; 
Their  honors  soon  will  shine. 
Who  with  the  Congress  join  ; 
In  them  I  much  delight, 
Who  with  the  Congress  fight ; 
They  are  my  daily  toast. 
Who  independence  boast ; 
They  have  my  hand  and  heart. 
Who  act  a  Whiggish  part ; 
May  daily  blessings  pour, 
On  Congress  evermore  ; 
May  honors  still  be  done. 
To  General  Washington. 


During  the  civil  war,  at  the  time  of  McClellan's  nomination  for  the  Presi- 
dency, a  number  of  administration  papers  published  the  following  ingenious 
burlesque  on  the  Democratic  platform,  which  they  held  to  be  an  attempt  to 
straddle  every  question,  and  a  bid  for  the  votes  of  all  parties : 

Hurrah  for  The  old  Union 

Secession  Is  a  curse 

We  fight  for  The  Constitution 

The  Confederacy  Is  a  league  with  hell 


We  love 

The  rebellion 

We  glory  in 

Separation 

We  fight  not  for 

Reconstruction 

We  must  succeed 

The  Union 

We  love  not 

We  never  said 

We  want 

Foreign  intervention 

We  cherish 

The  stars  and  bars 

We  venerate 

Southern  chivalry 

Death  to 

Abe  Lincoln 

Down  with 

Law  and  order 


Free  speech 

Is  treason 

A  free  press 

Will  not  be  tolerated 

The  negro's  freedom 

Must  be  obtained 

At  every  hazard 

We  love 

The  negro 

Let  the  Union  slide 

The  Union  as  it  was 

Is  played  out 

The  old  flag 

Is  a  flaunting  lie 

The  habeas  corpus 

Is  hateful 


Jeff  Davis 
Isn't  I 


the  Govemmient 
Mob  law 
Shall  triumph. 


Kead  crosswise,  it  gives  a  satirical  presentation  of  the  sentiments  of  the  Demo- 
cratic platform,  but  when  split  in  the  middle  the  left-hand  column  represents 
the  extreme  "  Copperhead"  and  the  right-hand  the  extreme  "  Abolitionist" 
sentiment. 

Hitherto  we  have  confined  ourselves  to  political  and  religious  squibs.  Here 
are  a  couple  of  peaceful,  secular  compositions,  the  first  resolving  itself  into  a 
satire  on  woman  and  marriage,  and  the  second,  read  in  any  manner  you  choose, 
persistently  reiterating  the  lover's  praise  of  his  mistress : 


Matrimony. 


I'he  man  must  lead  a  happy  life 
Who  is  directed  by  his  wife 
Adam  could  find  no  solid  peace 
Until  he  saw  a  woman's  face 
In  all  the  female  hearts  appear 
Truth,  darling  of  a  heart  sincere. 
What  tongue  is  able  to  unfold 
The  worth  in  woman,  we  behold. 
Cursed  be  the  foolish  man,  I  say. 
Who  will  not  yield  to  woman's  sway 


Who's  free  from  matrimonial  chains. 
Is  sure  to  suffer  for  his  pains. 
When  Eve  was  given  for  a  mate, 
Adam  was  in  a  happy  state. 
Hypocrisy,  deceit,  and  pride. 
Ne'er  known  in  woman  to  reside. 
The  falsehoods  that  in  woman  dwell. 
Is  almost  imperceptible. 
Who  changes  from  his  single  life. 
Is  free  from  quarrelling  and  strife. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


577 


Address 

TO  MY  Mis 

rRESS. 

Your  face. 

your  tongue. 

your  wit. 

So  fair, 

so  sweet, 

so  short. 

First  bent, 

then  drew. 

then  hit. 

Inline  eye. 

mine  ear. 

my  heart. 

Mine  eye. 

mine  ear. 

my  heart. 

To  like, 

to  learn, 

to  love. 

Your  face, 

your  tongue. 

your  wit. 

Doth  lead, 

doth  teach. 

doth  move. 

Mine  eye. 

mine  ear. 

your  wit. 

With  life. 

with  hope. 

with  art. 

Your  face. 

your  tongue; 

doth  rule. 

Doth  feed. 

doth  feast. 

my  heart. 

Your  face. 

your  tongue. 

my  heart. 

With  beams. 

with  sound. 

with  skill. 

Doth  bind. 

doth  charm. 

your  wit. 

Mine  eye. 

mine  ear. 

doth  fill. 

O  face  ! 

O  tongue! 

Owit! 

With  frowns. 

with  check. 

with  smart. 

Wrong  not, 

vex  not 

wound  not. 

Mine  eye. 

mine  ear. 

my  heart, 
this  heart. 

This  eye. 

this  ear. 

Shall  joy. 

shall  bend, 

shall  swear. 

Your  face. 

your  tongue. 

your  wit. 

To  serve. 

to  trust. 

to  fear. 

Charles  Wesley  is  credited  with  the  following  "  Musical  Creed :" 

Handel  d'ye  see's  A  downright  arrant  block 

The  man  for  me  Is  John  Sebastian  Bach, 

Who  can  write  well  Why  none  but  German  John 

But  old  Handel  Ought  to  be  spat  upon, 

George  is  for  air  The  stupidest  of  coons 

Beyond  compare  Is  Bach  at  graceful  tunes. 

To  Handel's  name  We  all  propine  our  hate 

Give  then  the  fame  To  Bach's  chromatic  pate. 

A  less  literary,  but  still  ingenious,  form  of  equivocation  is  illustrated  by 
the  story  of  the  Milwaukee  merchant  who,  during  the  civil  war,  drew  on  the 
wall  of  his  store  a  negro's  head,  and  beneath  the  legend, — 
Dis  Union  Foreber. 

Another  stock  story  relates  that  during  the  Presidential  campaign  of  1872  a 
non-committal  editor  sought  to  propitiate  all  parties  by  placing  at  the  head 
of  his  editorial  column  the  ticket  "Gr and  n,"  allowing  his  sub- 
scribers a  choice  of  interpretation  between  Grant  and  Wilson  and  Greeley 
and  Brown.  (It  is  added  that  an  ardent  Republican  subscriber  advised  him 
to  "  Go  to  the  ant,  thou  sluggard  !")  Lippincotf s  Magazine  called  attention  to 
the  fact  that  this  editor  was  a  probably  unconscious  plagiarist  from  the  French 
army  officer  who  at  a  mess-meeting  gave  the  toast, — 

"  Gentlemen,  I  drink  to  a  thing  which — an  object  that Bah  !  I  will  out 

with  it  at  once.     It  begins  with  an  R  and  ends  with  an  E." 

"Capital!"  whispered  a  young  lieutenant  of  Bordeaux  promotion.  "He 
proposes  the  Rcpubliqiie,  without  offending  the  old  fogies  by  saying  the  word." 

"  Nonsense  !   He  means  the  Radicale".  replied  another. 

"  Upon  my  word,"  said  a  third,  as  he  lifted  his  glass,  "  our  friend  must  mean 
la  Royaute." 

"  I  see  !"  cried  a  one-legged  veteran  of  Froschweiler  :  "  we  drink  to  la  Re- 
vanche." 

So  the  whole  party  drank  the  toast  heartily,  each  interpreting  it  to  his  liking. 

Jew  that  Shakespeare  drew.     An  anecdote  which  persistently  recurs, 

with  much  embroidery  of  detail  added  by  each  successive  reporter,  made  its 

first  appearance,  so  far  as  known,  in  J.  T.  Kirkman's  "  Life  of  Macklin"  (1799), 

vol.  i.  p.  264.     Shylock,  it  will  be  remembered,  had  been  degraded  to  a  comic 

z  mm  49 


578  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

character  on  the  English  stage,  but  Macklin  restored  the  text  and  played 
Shylock  as  a  serious  part.     The  biographer  continues, — 

In  the  dumb  action  of  the  trial  scene  he  was  amazingly  descriptive,  and  through  the  whole 
displayed  such  unequal  merit  as  justly  entitled  him  to  that  very  comprehensive,  though  con- 
cise, compliment  paid  to  him  by  Mr.  Pope,  who  sat  in  the  stage-box  on  the  third  night  of  the 
reproduction,  and  who  emphatically  exclaimed, — 

This  is  the  Jew 

That  Shakespeare  drew ! 

The  book  is  ill  written,  as  may  be  seen  from  the  above,  and  no  authorities 
are  cited.  The  anonymous  author  of  a  somewhat  better  biography,  "  Memoirs 
of  Macklin"  (1804),  does  not  mention  the  story  of  the  couplet,  which  is  pre- 
sumptive evidence  that  it  was  then  discredited.  In  1812  it  reappears  in  the 
"  Biographia  Dramatica,"  vol.  i.  p.  469,  in  this  cautious  form  : 

On  the  14th  of  February,  1741,  Macklin  established  his  fame  as  an  actor  in  the  character 
of  Shylock   in  the  "  Merchant  of  Venice."  .   .   .  Macklin's  performance  of  this  character  so 
forcibly  struck  a  gentleman  in  the  pit  that  he,  as  it  were  involuntarily,  exclaimed, — 
This  is  the  Jew 
That  Shakespeare  drew ! 
It  has  been  said  that  this  gentleman  was  Mr.  Pope,  and  that  he  meant  his  panegyric  on 
Macklin  as  a  satire  against  Lord  Lansdowne. 

In  1853,  the  anecdote,  trailing  clouds  of  glory,  comes  out  in  this  fashion  : 

On  the  third  night  of  representation  all  eyes  were  directed  to  the  stage-box,  where  sat  a 
little  deformed  man  ;  and  whilst  others  watched  his  gestures,  as  if  to  learn  his  opinion  of  the 
performers,  he  was  gazing  intently  upon  Shylock,  and  as  the  actor  panted,  in  broken  accents 
of  rage,  and  sorrow,  and  avarice,  "  Go,  Tubal,  fee  me  an  officer;  bespeak  him  a  fortnight 
before.  I  will  have  the  heart  of  him,  if  he  forfeit;;  for  were  he  out  of  Venice,  I  can  make  what 
merchandise  I  will.  Go,  Tubal,  and  meet  me  at  our  synagogue  ;  go,  good  Tubal ;  at  our  syna- 
gogue. Tubal,"  the  little  man  was  seen  to  rise,  and,  leaning  from  the  box  as  Macklin  passed 
it,  he  whispered, — 

This  is  the  Jew 

That  Shakespeare  drew. 
The  speaker  was  Alexander  Pope,  and,  in  that  age,  from  his  judgment  in  criticism  there  was 
no  appeal. — Irhh  Quarterly  Review  (December,  1853). 

Now,  it  is  doubtful  whether  Pope  was  in  London  at  all  when  Macklin 
brought  out  Shylock.  That  he  was  in  Bath  on  February  4,  1741,  is  evidenced 
by  a  letter  of  that  date  to  Warburton.  But,  even  if  he  had  returned  to  Lon- 
don, it  is  unlikely  that  he  was  at  the  theatre  (certainly  he  was  not  in  the  pit). 
His  health  had  been  ailing  since  1739,  when  he  described  himself  as  "sleepy 
and  stupid  enough"  in  the  evenings.  "  My  eyes  fail,  and  the  hours  when  most 
people  indulge  in  company,  I  am  tired,  and  find  the  labor  of  the  past  day  suf- 
ficient to  weigh  me  down,  so  I  hide  myself  in  bed,  as  a  bird  in  the  nest,  much 
about  the  same  time,  and  rise  and  chirp  in  the  morning." 

Jew^'s  eye.  Worth  a.  This  expression  is  supposed  to  have  arisen  out 
of  the  practice  of  torturing  the  Jews  to  exact  money.  Drawing  teeth  or 
plucking  out  an  eye  was  frequently  resorted  to  if  the  demand  was  not  com- 
plied with.  The  threatened  member  could  be  ransomed  only  by  paying  the 
sum  exacted.  King  John,  having  required  a  rich  Jew  of  Bristol  to  pay  him 
ten  thousand  marks,  when  the  demand  was  resisted  ordered  that  one  of  the 
Jew's  teeth  should  be  tugged  out  every  day  till  the  money  was  forthcoming. 
The  sufferer  endured  seven  days  before  he  would  give  in,  which  when  he  did, 
John  jestingly  observed,  "  A  Jew's  eye  may  be  a  quick  revenue,  but  Jews'  teeth 
give  the  richer  harvest."  According  to  serious  philology,  however,  Jew's  eye 
is  simply  a  corruption  of  the  Italian ^(Jw  (a  "jewel'''). 

Shakespeare  puns  upon  the  word  when  he  makes  Launcelot  say, — 

There  will  come  a  Christian  by 

Will  be  worth  a  Jewess'  eye. 

Merchant  of  Venice,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  5. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  579 

Jingo — Jingoism.  In  the  Basque  language  the  word  "  Jingo"  means  God, 
and  is  a  common  form  of  adjuration.  Possibly  the  English  caught  the  oath 
"by  Jingo  !"  from  the  Basque  sailors.  But  Halliwell  derives  the  word  from  a 
corruption  of  St.  Gingoulph.  The  word  "  Jingoism"  has  acquired  a  new  mean- 
ing in  British  politics  since  1877.  At  the  height  of  the  anti-Russian  excite- 
ment, when  Lord  Beaconsfield,  the  Premier,  was  determined  to  protect  Turkey 
from  Russia,  and  Gladstone  was  advocating  non-interference,  a  song  became 
very  popular  in  the  English  music-halls,  the  refrain  of  which  was, — 
We  don't  want  to  fight,  but,  by  Jingo,  if  we  do, 
We've  got  the  ships,  we've  got  the  men,  we've  got  the  money  too. 

"  Jingo"  was  derisively  cast  as  a  nickname  at  the  warlike  party,  and  was 
proudly  accepted  by  them.     The  term  has  ever  since  been  applied  to  those 
who  pander  to  popular  favor  by  noisy  advocacy  of  popular  measures. 
The  following  parody  of  the  song  appeared  in  the  Pall  Mall  Gazette: 

We  don't  want  to  fight,  but,  by  Jingo,  if  we  do. 

We've  Protestant  and  Catholic,  Turk,  infidel,  and  Jew  ; 

We've  "  God"  and  "  Mammon,"  "Allah,"  "  Buddha,"  "  Brahma,"  and  "  Vishnu  :" 

We've  collared  all  the  deities,  so  what  can  Russia  do  ? 
Chance  has  given  currency  to  a  word  which  possibly  may  one  day  become  as  widely  known 
and  as  respectable  as  the  name  of  Whig  or  Tory,— the  word  jingo.  An  English  traveller 
abroad  is  said  to  have  been  not  long  ago  asked  the  question,  "  Mais  qu'est-ce  que  c'est  done, 
monsieur,  que  ce  Jingo?"  His  own  ideas  on  the  matter  not  being  very  clearly  defined,  he 
made  answer,  with  elusive  playfulness,  that  it  was  Mr.  Gladstone's  familiar  spirit.  The 
epithet  is  now  used  by  Liberal  speakers,  even  by  the  most  moderate  and  eminent  of  them,  as . 
a  convenient  missile  to  fling  at  their  opponents,  and  by  Radicals  it  is  applied  freely,  and  one 
may  say  indiscriminately,  to  all  who  desire  to  maintain  the  honor  and  integrity  of  the  British 
empire.  If  we  turn  to  that  celebrated  refrain  which  has  given  currency  to  the  word,  and' 
which  will  be  remembered  longer  than  many  verses  of  greater  lyrical  value,  we  can  find 
nothing  more  in  it  than  the  expression  of  a  modest  firmness  and  self-reliance.  It  breathes 
defence,  not  defiance.  It  affirms  that  we  have  no  desire  for  war,  but  that  should  war  arise 
we  have  the  means  to  face  it.  This  temperate  affirmation  is  clinched  with  an  oath,  reprehen- 
sible, indeed,  and  by  no  means  refined,  but  far  less  objectionable  than  many  other  such  words 
that  we  unfortunately  hear  even  from  the  Liberal  workingman  when  we  walk  the  streets.— 
Saturday  Review  (1880). 

Job.  Sheridan's  definition  of  a  political  job  is  as  pat  to-day  as  ever  :  he 
says,  "  Whenever  any  emolument,  profit,  salary,  or  honor  is  conferred  on 
any  person  not  deserving  it,  that  is  a  job  ;  if  from  private  friendship,  personal 
attachment,  or  any  view  except  the  interest  of  the  public,  anyone  is  appointed 
to  any  public  office,  .  .  .  that  is  a  job."  To  which  may  be  added,  legislation 
obtained  to  procure  some  private  end  or  profit.  An  amusing  etymology  of 
the  word  job  is  that  of  Southey,  who  derives  it  from  the  Job  of  the  Bible  : 

For  a  job  in  the  working  or  operative  sense  is  evidently  something  which  it  requires  pa- 
tience to  perform,  in  the  physical  and  moral  sense,  as  when,  for  example,  in  the  language  of 
the  vulgar,  a  personal  hurt  or  misfortune  is  called  a  bad  job,  it  is  something  which  it  requires 
patience  to  support ;  and  in  the  political  sense  it  is  something  which  it  requires  patience  in 
the  public  to  endure  :  and  in  all  these  senses  the  origin  of  the  word  maybe  traced  to  Job,  who 
is  the  proverbial  exemplar  of  this  virtue.— The  Doctor,  ch.  cxv. 

Job's  Turkey,  As  poor  as.  Judge  Haliburton,  author  of  "  Sam  Slick," 
popularized  the  interesting  facts  that  Job's  turkey  had  but  one  feather  in  his 
tail,  and  had  to  lean  against  the  fence  to  gobble.  Obviously,  the  reference  is 
to  the  deplorable  indigence  to  which  Job  was  reduced  when  delivered  over  to 
Satan.  The  fact  that  Job  couldn't  have  a  turkey  (for  the  bird  is  a  native  of 
America)  was  probably  not  present  to  the  mind  of  the  originator  of  the  ex- 
pression. The  English  "  As  lazy  as  Ludlam's  dog,  which  had  to  lean  against 
the  fence  to  bark,"  seems  to  have  been  in  Haliburton's  mind,  and  possibly 
the  Indian  proverb  "  I  am  as  poor  as  a  turkey  in  summer,"  recorded  by  C. 
Jennings  in  "The  Eggs  of  British  Birds,"  p.  7,  and  thus  explained  by  him; 
"  At  some  seasons  of  the  year,  from  their  excessive  wanderings  and  from 


58o  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

scarcity  of  food,  turkeys,  in  a  wild  state,  become  extremely  thin.  This  cir- 
cumstance has  given  rise  to  a  proverb  in  the  Indian  language."  Jennings 
asserts  that  he  h'card  the  proverb  from  "  an  Omawhaw." 

Jockey  of  Norfolk,  a  sobriquet  applied  to  Sir  John  Howard,  a  stanch 
adherent  to  the  house  of  York  and  of  Richard  III.  He  was  noted  alike  for 
the  magnificence  of  his  household  and  for  the  high  offices  held  by  him.  He 
accompanied  Richard  to  Bosworth  Field,  and  entered  the  fight  notwithstanding 
the  friendly  warning  which  was  posted  on  his  tent  the  night  preceding  the 
battle  :  ,   , , 

Jockey  of  Norfolk,  be  not  too  bold. 

For  Dickon,  thy  master,  is  bought  and  sold. 

He  paid  the  penalty  for  his  fidelity  with  his  life,  being  among  those  who 
were  left  dead  on  the  field. 

Jocking  wi'  deeficulty.  The  origin  of  this  phrase  is  (unauthoritatively) 
said  to  be  as  follows.  A  Scotch  editor,  wishing  to  enliven  the  columns  of  his 
journal,  looked  round  him,  and  at  last  discovered  what  he  wanted  in  the 
person  of  a  funny  sub-editor.  He  then  boasted  himself  in  the  society  of  his 
friends,  saying,  "  I  have  found  in  my  new  sub-editor  a  young  man  just  over- 
flowing with  natural  wit  and  humor.  Jocks  just  pour  freely  from  his  lips. 
Now,  this  is  a  grand  thing  for  the  paper,  because,  for  my  part,  I  confess  that 
I  jock  wi'  deeficulty." 

John-a-dreams,  a  lackadaisical  fellow,  always  in  a  brown  study  and  half 
asleep : 

Yet  I, 
A  dull  and  muddy-mettled  rascal,  peak. 
Like  John-a-dreams,  unpregnant  of  my  cause. 
And  can  say  nothing. 

Hamlet,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  2. 

John  Company,  an  Anglo-Indian  term  for  the  Honorable  East  India 
Company,  which  personified  itself  to  the  Hindoo  imagination  as  a  mythical 
being,  neither  man  nor  woman,  kept  especially  busy  visiting  calamities  on  the 
heads  of  all  who  doubted  its  actual  existence. 

Johnny  Rebs,  a  sobriquet  given  by  the  soldiers  of  the  Union  armies  to 
the  Confederates  during  the  late  war  of  the  Rebellion  :  said  to  have  originated 
in  a  colloquy  between  pickets,— the  Confederate  picket  objecting  to  being 
dubbed  by  the  Union  soldier  as  a  "Johnny  Bull,"  in  allusion  to  the  counte- 
nance given  by  Great  Britain  to  the  cause  of  the  seceding  States. 

Johnny's  upset  the  coach!  This  was  the  phrase  which  Lord  Derby 
used  in  a  conversation  with  Sir  James  Graham  on  the  rejection  of  the  Reform 
Bill,  mainly  drawn  up  by  Lord  John  Russell  {1831).  The  Grey  ministry 
resigned,  appealed  to  the  country,  and  obtained  a  large  majority,  by  which 
the  bill  was  finally  passed  in  1832. 

Jones.  Davy  Jones's  Locker,  a  nautical  term  for  the  depths  of  the 
ocean,— «>.,  the  graves  of  those  that  perish  at  sea.  It  has  been  suggested 
that  Jones  is  a  corruption  of  Jonas,  who  lived  for  three  days  in  the  whale's 
belly,  and  that  once  having  turned  the  prophet  into  a  Welshman  it  fol- 
lowed naturally  that  he  should  be  given  the  name  of  the  Welshman's  patron 
saint,  David,  the  commonest  of  all  patronymics  in  Wales.  Bishop  Andrews 
in  one  of  his  sermons  alludes  to  the  expression  "  He  hath  beene  where 
lonas  was"  as  being  said  "  of  any  that  hath  beene  in  extreme  perill."  (Ninety- 
Six  Sermons,  p.  515,  folio.) 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  58 1 

Jones,  In-I-gO  (a  play  upon  the  name  of  the  famous  architect,  Inigo 
Jones),  a  nickname  given  in  the  early  part  of  Queen  Victoria's  reign  to  an 
enterprising  youngster  of  the  name  of  Jones,  who  attained  a  certain  celebrity 
through  the  frequency  with  which  he  managed  to  make  his  way,  unperceived 
by  sentinels  and  servants,  into  the  private  apartments  of  Buckingham  Palace, 
where  he  was  more  than  once  found  concealed  under  a  sofa.  The  sobriquet 
was  afterwards  transferred  to  Richard  Monckton  Milnes,  as  a  tribute  to  the 
latter's  unruffled  audacity  and  "cheek."     See  Cool  of  the  Evening. 

Judex  damnatur  cum  nocens  absolvitur  (L.,  "The  judge  is  con- 
demned when  the  criminal  is  acquitted"),  the  407th  Maxim  of  Publius  Syrus, 
adopted  by  the  founders  of  the  Edinburgh  Review  as  the  motto  of  their 
periodical. 

Julienne  Soup.  This  soup  was  invented  by  the  famous  Julien,  who  came 
to  Boston  about  the  time  of  the  French  Revolution  and  established  the 
"  Restorator"  on  Milk  Street.  He  is  also  memorable  as  the  inventor,  or  at 
least  the  instigator,  of  the  idea  of  selling  food  in  hermetically-sealed  cans. 
After  his  return  to  France,  at  the  Restoration,  he  sold  his  right  or  patent  to  a 
noted  restaurant  in  the  French  capital,  and  the  new  proprietors  sold  the  soup 
in  cans  to  all  nations. 

Junker  party,  a  nickname  for  the  strict  Conservatives  in  the  Prussian 
Landtag,  from  the  large  majority  of  that  party  belonging  to  the  unprogressive 
rural  aristocracy,  who  in  Germany  are  called,  with  a  touch  of  opprobrium, 
"Junker;"  the  class  corresponding,  in  a  measure,  with  the  English  squire- 
archy, uncompromising  supporters  of  the  established  state  church  and  the 
established  order  of  things  in  general. 

Junket.  In  American  politics  this  name  is  given  to  any  useless  legislative 
investigation,  where  the  inquiry  is  the  ostensible  object,  the  real  purpose, 
however,  being  to  provide  for  the  members  of  the  investigating  committee  a 
frolicking  tour  of  the  country  at  the  public  expense.  It  is  also  applied  to 
any  similarly  purposeless  and  ostensibly  official  tour  of  administrative  and 
executive  bodies  or  officers. 

Junto,  The,  a  small  group  of  men  who,  in  the  reign  of  King  William  III.  and 
under  this  name,  dictated  the  policy  of  the  Whig  party,  exercising  an  author- 
ity, in  the  words  of  Macaulay,  "  of  which  there  is,  perhaps,  no  parallel  in 
history,  ancient  or  modern."  Its  leading  members  were  Russell,  Lord- 
Keeper  Somers,  and  Charles  Montague. 

Justice  the  highest  expediency.  Wendell  Phillips,  in  his  speech  on 
the  election  of  Lincoln,  November  7,  1S60,  uttered  this  sentence:  "When 
Infinite  Wisdom  established  the  rules  of  right  and  honesty,  he  saw  to  it  that 
justice  should  be  always  the  highest  expediency."  This  is  not  unlike  "  Hon- 
esty is  the  best  policy." 

Agesilaus  II.,  King  of  Sparta  (b.c.  398-361),  being  asked  which  he  considered  the  highest 
virtue,  valor  or  justice,  replied,  "  Unsupported  by  justice,  valor  is  good  for  nothing;  and  if 
all  men  were  just  there  would  be  no  need  of  valor." — Plutarch  :  L.i/e. 
Be  just,  and  fear  not : 
Let  all  the  ends  thou  aim'st  at  be  thy  country's. 
Thy  God's,  and  truth's ;  then  if  thou  fall'st,  O  Cromwell, 
Thou  fall'st  a  blessed  martyr  ! 

Shakespeare  :  Her^  VIII.,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  2. 
Then  to  side  with  Truth  is  noble  when  we  share  her  wretched  crust. 
Ere  her  cause  bring  fame  and  profit  and  'tis  prosperous  to  be  just. 

Lowell  :   The  Present  Crisis. 
Justice,  sir,  is  the  great  interest  of  man  on  earth.— Wbbster  :  Speech  on  Mr.  yusttce 
Story  (1845). 


582  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

J'y  suis,  j'y  reate  (Fr.,  "  Here  I  am,  here  I  remain"),  the  reply  of 
Marshal  MacMahon,  during  the  siege  of  Sebastopol,  when  advised  by  General 
Pelissier,  the  French  commander-in-chief,  to  abandon  the  Malakoff,  a  position 
he  had  carried  by  assault  September  8,  1855.  Victor  Emmanuel  used  the  same 
expression  after  the  occupation  of  Rome,  when  he  had  transferred  the  capital 
of  Italy  from  Florence.  But,  after  all,  Luther  had  anticipated  them  both  in 
the  famous  declaration  made  at  the  Diet  of  Worms:  "  Here  I  stand;  I  can 
do  no  otherwise  ;  God  help  me.     Amen." 

If  any  one  will  answer  these  questions  for  me  with  something  more  to  the  point  than 
feeble  talk  about  the  cowardice  of  agnosticism,  I  shall  be  deeply  his  debtor.  Unless  and 
until  they  are  satisfactorily  answered,  1  say  of  agnosticism  in  this  matter,  yj/  suis,  et  j'y 
reste. — Huxley. 


K. 

E,  the  eleventh  letter  and  eighth  consonant  of  the  English  alphabet,  de- 
rived from  the  Phoenician  through  the  Latin  and  the  Greek.  It  was  little 
used  in  Latin,  on  account  of  the  double  function  that  was  placed  upon  C  {q.  v.). 

Kangaroo.  When  Captain  Cook  discovered  Australia  he  saw  some  of 
the  natives  on  the  shore  with  a  dead  animal  of  some  sort  in  their  possession, 
and  sent  sailors  in  a  boat  to  buy  it  of  them.  When  it  came  on  board  he 
saw  it  was  something  quite  new,  so  he  sent  the  sailors  back  to  inquire  its 
name.  The  sailors  asked,  but,  not  being  able  to  make  the  natives  understand, 
received  the  answer,  "  I  don't  know,"  or,  in  the  Australian  language,  "  Kan- 
ga-roo."  The  sailors  supposed  this  was  the  name  of  the  animal,  and  so  re- 
ported it.  Thus  the  name  of  the  curious  animal  is  the  "  I-don't-know,"  which 
is  almost  equal  to  the  name  given  to  one  of  the  monstrosities  in  Barnum's 
Museum,  the  "  What-is-it .'" 

Kettle  of  fish,  A  pretty,  proverbial  English,  meaning  a  bad  botch,  a 
muddle,  a  contre-temps.  Sir  Walter  Scott,  in  a  note  in  "  St.  Ronan's  Well," 
explains  that  "  a  kettle  of  fish  is  a  fete-cha7npetre  of  a  particular  kind,  which  is 
to  oihex  fetes-ckampetres  what  the  piscatory  eclogues  of  Browne  or  Sannazaro 
are  to  pastoral  poetry."  A  salmon  is  the  principal  dish  provided  in  these 
picnics.  But,  acting  on  the  principle  attributed  to  the  mythical  Mrs.  Glasse, 
it  must  first  be  caught.  Then  it  is  boiled  in  brine  in  a  large  caldron,  or 
what  our  Saxon  ancestors  would  call  a  cytel,  hung  gypsy-fashion  on  an  extem- 
pore tripod  over  a  fire  of  logs. 

But  when  Mr.  Western,  in  "Tom  Jones,"  rushes  into  the  presence  of  Mrs. 
Western  and  Mr.  Allworthy  with  the  vociferous  cry,  "  Fine  doings  at  my 
house  !  A  rare  kettle  of  fish  I  have  discovered  !"  we  may  be  sure  that  he  is 
using  the  phrase  not  in  its  literal  but  in  its  proverbial  sense.  That  sense, 
however,  is  hard  to  discover. 

In  the  "Eleventh  Annual  Report  of  the  Inspectors  of  Salmon  Fisheries," 
Mr.  Inspector  Walpole,  in  reporting  on  the  fisheries  on  the  coast  of  Sussex, 
says,  "The  kettle-nets,  it  may  be  interesting  to  note,  probably  derive  their 
name  from  the  kiddelus,  or  kiddie,  which  is  mentioned  in  Magna  Charta  and 
many  earlier  fishery  statutes.  In  their  turn,  the  kettle-nets  are,  I  conceive, 
responsible  for  the  old  proverb  'a  pretty  kettle  of  fish.'" 

Palmer,  in  "  Folk  Etymology,"  suggests  that  when  a  kettle-net  full  of  fish 
was  drawn  up,  with  its  plunging  contents,  the  confusion,  flurry,  and  disorder 
of  the  process  might  easily  have  been  made  synonymous  with  a  colloquial  ex- 
pression which  would  convey  the  idea  of  an  imbroglio,  a  "mess,"  or  a  coti- 
tre-temps  of  any  sort ;  or  possibly  the  expression  may  come  from  the  Scotch 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  5^3 

word  kiUle,  to  puzzle  or  perplex.  "  A  kittle  of  fish"  is  also  suggestive  of  a 
"muddle,"  the  term  being  derived,  we  are  told,  from  the  apparatus  of  pulleys 
employed  in  dragging  the  flukes  of  the  anchor  towards  the  bow  after  it  has 
been  hoisted  to  the  cathead.  If  the  pulleys  get  out  of  order,  it  is  called  a 
"kittle  of  fish,"  but  why  one  cannot  understand,  unless  it  be  a  mere  cor- 
ruption of  "  a  pretty  kettle  of  fish,"  already  established  as  an  equivalent  for 
something  gone  wrong.  It  is  impossible  to  fix  the  exact  date  when  this  phrase 
was  first  adopted  ;  but  perhaps  it  was  used  in  derision  by  some  early  Saxon 
cook  who,  having  overboiled  his  fish,  spoiled  his  whole  cytelivX. 

Short-sight  in  politics  affects  tlie  collective  happiness  of  mankind  much  more  than  short- 
sight  in  morals.  The  short-sighied  politician  is  a  pest  to  his  country  ;  the  short-sighted  moral- 
ist IS  a  curse  to  himself.  It  is  only  when  such  a  moralist  turns  legislator  or  agitator,  and 
therefore  drops  the  guise  of  moralist  for  that  of  politician,  that  he  becomes  dangerous  to  the 
peace  of  others  as  well  as  to  his  own,  and  illustrates  the  wisdom  of  Dr.  Johnson's  observa- 
tion, adopted  and  amplified  by  Mr.  Buckle,  that  there  is  no  greater  social  nuisance  than  your 
wrong-headed  conscientious  man.  Such  a  man,  if  he  comes  into  power,  turns  the  affairs  of 
his  country — which  previously  were  in  a  condition,  if  not  of  perfection,  at  least  of  ordi.r  and 
decency— into  the  caldron,  and  makes  of  them  what  Punch  once  represented  Lord  Palmer- 
ston  as  calling  "  a  pretty  kettle  of  fish." — Saturday  Review. 

Kettle-drum,  an  afternoon  tea.  The  term  is  sometimes  thought  to  have 
originated  in  English  barracks,  where  officers'  wives  entertain  their  friends 
at  tea  just  after  dress-parade,  and  the  final  rat-tat-tat  of  the  drums  gives  the 
signal  for  reunion  over  the  teacups.  But  "  drum"  was  a  name  given  to  even- 
ing parties  as  far  back  as  the  eighteenth  century,  and  possibly  "  kettle"  has 
been  prefixed  to  impart  the  idea  of  a  teakettle. 

Anyway,  a  kettle-drum  happens  to  be  a  pleasant  sort  of  meal,— scarcely  a  meal  at  all,  but 
only  an  excuse  for  meeting  together  in  an  easy  manner  at  an  interval  when  one  has  nothing 
else  to  do  ;  while  some  will  accept  it  as  a  welcome  prelude  to  the  onerous  task  of"  dressing  for 
dinner."  The  afternoon  tea,  or  kettle-drum,  has  other  uses.  Men  have  now  no  leisure  for 
breakfast-p.irties,  even  if  they  were  inclined  to  talk  before  facing  the  day's  work  ;  and  the 
ponderous  formality  of  the  dinner  which  f.ishion  prescribes,  to  say  nothing  of  its  often  finding 
men  tired  and  jaded,  forbids  that  free  interchange  of  sentiments  which  renders  Johnson's 
tavern  dinners  or  the  sociable  feasts  of  Holland  House  so  pleasant  a  retrospect  in  these  days 
and  nights  of  hurry.  Much  of  the  friendly  talk  of  a  country-house  or  the  liveliness  of  a  Lon- 
don mansion  crystallizes  round  the  kettledrum. 

Though  afternoon  tea  is  a  product  of  advanced  civilization,  its  analogues  may  be  found  in 
the  past.  Thus,  Isidore,  a  grammarian  of  the  seventh  century,  explains  the  Roman  meal  called 
merenda,  concerning  which  antiquaries  have  always  been  puzzled,  as  having  been  "  food 
taken  in  the  afternoon,  to  be  eaten  after  mid-day,  and  just  before  dinner ;  whence,"  he  adds, 
"  certain  call  it  anteccenia,"  or  dinner  prelude.  This  exactly  corresponds  to  our  cup  of  tea 
taken  in  the  afternoon  just  before  dinner.  So  that  in  this  case,  as  in  so  many  others,  there  is 
nothing  new  under  the  sun.  LucuUus  gathered  his  guests  around  him  in  the  shady  arbor  at 
his  country-house  for  merenda  on  oppressive  afternoons,  just  as  cups  of  tea  now  solace  our 
young  people  under  the  croquet  tent  before  the  dressing-bell  rings. —  Chambers's  lournal^ 
November  20,  1875. 

"Go  to  Mrs.  Hyson's  five-o'clock  tea  with  you?"  said  Mr.  Placer  Dam,  the  California 
millionaire,  to  his  wife.  "  Not  much,  my  dear.  You  can  whoop  it  up  to  sassiety  all  you 
blame  please ;  me  and  your  brother  William  will  keep  down  to  plain  old  California  style. 
No  five-o'clock  teas  for  men  who  ain't  got  reel  intimate  with  biled  shirts  yet.  Five-o'clock 
tea !  Bill,  let's  us  take  a  little  pasear  round  to  Ryan's  and  get  a  seventeen-minutes-to- 
three-o'clock  whiskey." — Puck. 

Kick,  Kicker.  To  kick  is  an  expressive  Americanism  for  to  object,  to 
find  fault,  to  grumble.  The  Detroit  Free  Press  quotes  the  following  sentences 
in  point :  "  Citizen  Jones  kicks  against  being  assessed  so  high  for  his  Fourth 
Street  property."  "  Anson  raised  a  double-jointed,  gilt-edged  kick  when  the 
umpire  gave  him  out  in  the  second  innings  yesterday."  "The  High  School 
girls  kick  against  long  study-hours,"  etc.  A  kicker  means  a  chronic  grumbler, 
and  in  politics  the  term  is  applied  to  a  Mugwump,  an  Independent, — i.e.,  one 
who  kicks  over  the  traces. 

A  sensitive  exchange  dolorously  complains  that  the  ballet-girls  throughout  the  country  are 


584  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

kicking  because  Margaret  Sangster  has  -written  a  poem,  "  The  Girls  of  Ninety-One."  The 
one  -who  would  deny  a  ballet-girl  the  right  to  kick  is  indeed  hard-hearted.— /Vt/Vai/^Z/Aza 
Press. 

But,  like  many  another  "  Americanism,"  this  is  simply  a  recrudescence  and 
extension  of  a  good  old  English  phrase  which  may  be  found  in  the  Authorized 
Version  of  the  Bible,  and  even  in  Tennyson  : 

Wherefore  kick  ye  at  my  sacrifice  and  at  mine  offering,  which  I  have  commanded?— 
/.  Samuel  ii.  29. 

You  hold  the  woman  is  the  better  man  : 
A  rampant  heresy,  such  as,  if  it  spread, 
Would  make  all  women  kick  against  their  lords. 

Tennyson  :  Princess,  iv. 

"To  kick  against  the  pricks"  (Acts  ix.  5),  a  metaphorical  allusion  to 
ploughing-oxen  kicking  against  the  goads,  is  common  in  England  and 
America  for  any  ineffectual  resistance  to  superior  force. 

To  kick  one's  self,  often  used  with  an  infinite  variety  of  adjuncts, — i.e.,  to 
kick  one's  self  "  all  over  the  house,"  "  all  over  the  place,"  etc., — means  to  feel 
or  express  violent  dissatisfaction  with  one's  self,  to  be  mortified  or  chagrined. 
This  is  a  pure  Americanism. 

Ascombe.  So  Betts  lost  heavily  on  the  races,  eh  ?     What  is  he  doing  now  ? 

Bascombe.  Trying  to  invent  a  perpetual-motion  machine. 

Ascombe.  Of  what  use  will  that  be  to  him  ? 

Bascombe.  He  wants  it  to  kick  himself  with. — Puck. 

Kick  the  bucket,  a  slang  phrase  common  on  both  sides  of  the  Atlantic, 
meaning  to  die.  The  allusion  is  probably  to  the  way  in  which  a  slaughtered 
pig  is  hung  up,— viz.,  by  passing  the  ends  of  a  bent  piece  of  wood  behind  the 
tendons  of  the  hind  legs  and  so  suspending  it  to  a  hook  in  the  beam  above. 
This  piece  of  wood  is  locally  termed  a  bucket,  and  so,  by  a  coarse  metaphor, 
the  phrase  came  to  have  its  present  meaning.  A  correspondent  of  Notes  and 
Queries,  first  series,  ix.  107,  offered  a  derivation  which  should  be  quoted  as  a 
curiosity  :  "One  Balsover,  having  hung  himself  to  a  beam  while  standing  on 
the  bottom  of  a  pail  or  bucket,  kicked  the  vessel  away  in  order  to  pry  into 
futurity,  and  it  was  all  up  with  him  from  that  moment."  The  physician  who 
attended  George  Colman  in  his  last  illness  paid  one  day  a  later  visit  than 
usual,  and  explained  it  by  saying  that  he  had  been  called  in  to  see  a  man  who 
had  fallen  down  a  well.  "  Did  he  kick  the  bucket,  doctor  ?"  faintly  inquired 
the  patient. 

Kickshaws,  the  name  for  light  French  ragouts  or  made-dishes  of  an 
unsatisfactory  nature;  also,  and  more  generally,  anything  trivial.  The  word 
is  an  Anglicized  form  of  the  French  quelque  chose,  the  end-syllable  shaw  being 
perhaps  mentally  associated  with  pshaw,  in  token  of  contempt.  The  Germans 
have  twisted  the  same  word  into  geckschoserie  ("  foolery"),  the  contempt  in  their 
case  being  indicated  by  the  first  syllable,  ^^^-^  being  the  nearest  equivalent  in 
German  for  dude  or  jackanapes.  The  development  of  the  present  English 
form  of  the  word  is  shown  by  the  following  extracts : 

Only  let  mee  love  none,  no,  not  the  sport 
From  country  grasse,  to  confitures  of  court. 
Or  cities'  quelque  choses,  let  not  report 
My  mind  transport. 

Donne  :  Poems  (1635),  p.  8. 
Limberham.  Some  foolish  French  quelquechose,  I  warrant  you. 
Brainsick.  Quelquechose  !     O  ignorance  in  supreme  perfection  !  he  means  kekshose. 

Dryden  :   'J he  Kind  Keeper. 
Sir  And.  I  delight  in  maskes  and  revels  sometimes  altogether. 
Sir  To.  Art  thou  good  at  these  kickchawses,  knight? 

Tiuel/th  Night  (fol.  1623),  Act  i.,  Sc.  3. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  585 

Klilkenny  Cats  have  an  ill  name  for  ferocity.  "  As  quarrelsome  as  Kil- 
kenny cats"  is  a  popular  proverb.  Over  a  hundred  years  ago,  it  is  said,  a 
great  battle  of  felines  took  place  in  the  neighborhood  of  the  town,  which  was 
participated  in  by  all  the  cats  in  the  city  and  county  of  Kilkenny,  aided  and 
abetted  by  cats  from  other  parts  of  Ireland.  One  thousand  cats  were  found 
dead  next  morning  upon  the  field  of  battle,  and  many  were  identified  by  their 
collars  as  coming  from  remote  regions  of  the  country. 

But  the  most  famous  legend  concerning  Kilkenny  cats  is  that  two  of  them, 
fighting  in  a  saw-pit,  bit  and  scratched  so  long  and  so  ferociously  that  at  last 
only  two  tails  were  left  in  the  arena :  each   had  devoured  the  other.     An 
anonymous  bard  has  versified  the  incident  as  follows  : 
There  once  were  two  cats  of  Kilkenny, 
Which  thought  there  was  one  cat  too  many, 
So  they  mewed  and  they  bit, 
And  they  scratched  and  they  fit, 
Till,  excepting  their  nails  and  the  tips  of  their  tails, 
Instead  of  two  cats  there  weren't  any. 

This  seems  nothing  but  a  bit  of  broad  Irish  humor,  or  perhaps  even  a 
typical  Irish  bull  ;  nevertheless  an  attempt  has  been  made  to  rationalize  the 
myth  in  the  following  story  : 

During  the  Irish  rebellion  of  1798  or  1803 — for  authorities  differ — Kilkenny 
was  garrisoned  by  a  regiment  of  Hessian  soldiers,  whose  favorite  pastime  in 
their  barrack-rooms  was  to  throw  two  cats,  tied  together  by  their  tails,  face  to 
face,  across  a  clothes-line.  The  officers,  learning  of  this  barbarous  sport, 
determined  to  put  an  end  to  it.  For  this  purpose  an  officer  was  ordered  to 
inspect  each  barrack-room  daily.  But  the  soldiers,  learning  of  this  system  of 
espionage,  detailed  one  of  their  comrades  to  watch  the  officer.  One  day  the 
sentinel  neglected  his  duty,  and  the  ofiicer  was  heard  ascending  the  stairs 
while  the  cats  were  fighting.  There  was  no  time  to  disengage  them.  A 
trooper  hastily  drew  his  sword  and  with  one  blow  severed  the  tails  of  the  cats, 
who  thereupon  escaped  through  the  window.  When  the  officer  entered  he 
severely  demanded  whence  came  the  bleeding  tails  upon  the  floor,  whereupon 
the  trooper  informed  him,  with  a  ready  wit  worthy  of  his  Irish  surroundings, 
that  two  cats  had  been  fighting  desperately  together,  that  it  had  been  impos- 
sible to  separate  tliem,  and  that  they  had  ended  by  devouring  each  other, — 
all  but  the  tails. 

Some  authorities  reject  this  story  as  obviously  manufactured  after  the  event, 
and  insist  on  considering  the  inter-destructive  cats  an  allegory  of  the  neigh- 
boring municipalities  of  Kilkenny  and  Irishtown,  which  from  a.D.  1377  to  the 
close  of  the  seventeenth  century  contended  so  fiercely  about  boundaries  that 
they  mutually  impoverished  each  other  and  left  only  a  trace  of  their  former 
selves.  De  Gubernatis,  on  the  other  hand,  ingeniously  surmises  that  the 
origin  of  the  myth  may  be  traced  to  the  German  superstition  which  dreads 
the  combat  between  cats  as  presaging  death  to  the  -one  who  witnesses  it. 

Kilmainham  Treaty,  the  name  given  by  the  English  Conservatives 
to  an  arrangement  alleged  to  have  been  made  between  Gladstone  and 
certain  Irish  members  of  Parliament  who  were  imprisoned  in  Kilmainham 
jail  during  the  agrarian  troubles  of  1880-1S82,  whereby  the  prisoners  were 
released  on  agreeing  to  support  the  Liberals,  Mr.  Gladstone  agreeing  in  turn 
to  certain  concessions  to  be  made  by  him  to  Ireland. 

King.  The  king  is  dead!  Long  live  the  king!  In  the  French  mon- 
archical period,  when  a  king  of  France  died,  a  herald  appeared  upon  the 
balcony  of  the  royal  palace,  and  cried  three  times  to  the  crowd  below,  "The 
king  is  dead!  Long  live  the  king!"  ("Le  roi  est  mort !  Vive  le  roi !") 
Again  at  the  funeral  ceremonies,  when  the  royal  corpse  was  committed  to  its 

UNIVERSITY 


586  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

last  resting-place  in  the  vaults  of  Saint-Denis,  these  words  were  solemnly  re- 
peated. They  were  heard  for  the  last  time  in  France  on  the  death  of  Louis 
XVIII.  Seven  days  after  he  had  breathed  his  last  his  remains  were  taken 
with  great  pomp  to  Saint-Denis,  where  they  lay  in  state  from  September  23 
to  October  24,  the  day  appointed  for  the  funeral.  An  enormous  crowd 
gathered  to  witiiess  a  ceremony  which  had  been  strange  to  France  since  the 
death  of  Louis  XV.  in  1774.  The  funeral  services  over  and  the  body  being 
deposited  in  its  crypt,  the  grand  chamberlain — no  less  a  personage  than  M. 
de  Talleyrand — waved  the  standard  of  France  over  the  catafalque.  Then 
the  Duke  d'Uzes — acting  as  grand  master  of  the  royal  house — lowered  his 
baton,  and,  placing  the  end  in  the  opening  of  the  crypt,  cried,  "The  king  is 
dead  !  The  king  is  dead  !"  This  was  thrice  repeated  by  the  king-at-arms, 
who  after  the  third  cry  added,  "  Let  us  all  pray  to  God  for  the  repose  of  the 
king."  A  profound  silence  fell  over  the  assembly.  Clergy  and  spectators 
fell  on  their  knees  and  prayed  in  silence.  Then  the  Duke  d'Uzes,  once  more 
lifting  his  baton,  raised  the  cry,  "  Long  live  the  king  !"  Again  this  was  thrice 
repeated  by  the  king-at-arms,  who  added,  "  Long  live  King  Charles,  tenth 
of  the  name,  by  the  grace  of  God  King  of  France  and  of  Navarre  !  Cry  all, 
Long  live  the  king  !"  The  cry  was  echoed  by  a  thousand  voices.  Drums  beat, 
trumpets  brayed,  the  military  band  burst  into  strains  of  music  that  echoed 
and  re-echoed  through  the  church.  Without,  salvos  of  musketry  and  artil- 
lery announced  that  sorrow  must  give  place  to  joy,  and  that  if  Louis  XVIII. 
were  no  more,  Charles  X.  was  king. 

The  phrase  has  been  frequently  parodied  and  paraphrased,  as  in  the  in- 
stances subjoined  : 

Polichinelle  is  invulnerable.     The  invulnerability  of  the  heroes  of  Ariosto  is  not  so  fully 
established  as  that  of  Polichinelle.     I  doubt  if  his  heel  remained  in  his  mother's  hand  when 


she  plunged  him  into  the  Styx.  What  is  certain  is  that  Polichinelle,  pierced  with  many 
wounds  by  the  bravi,  hanged  by  the  executioner,  and  carried  off  by  the  devil,  infallibly  re- 
appears in  a  quarter  of  an  hour,  in  his  dramatic  cage,  as  tricksome,  as  fresh,  and  as  gallaiit 
as  ever,  dreaming  of  nothing  but  clandestine  love-affairs  and  elf-like  pranks.  Polichinelle  is 
dead,  long  live  Polichinelle !  It  is  this  phenomenon  which  suggested  the  idea  of  the  legiti- 
macy. Montesquieu  would  have  said  this  if  he  had  known.  One  cannot  know  everything. 
—Charles  Nodier. 

My  heart  will  ever  love  so  long  as  there  are  women  ;  should  it  cool  over  one,  it  will  imme- 
diately fire  up  over  another,  and  as  the  king  never  dies  in  France,  so  the  queen  never  dies  in 
my  heart,  where  the  word  is  la.  reine  est  morte,  vive  la.  reine  ! — Heine  :  Reisebilder. 

King  can  do  no  wrong.  Although  verbally  the  phrase  as  it  now  stands 
is  English,  the  idea  which  it  conveys  may  be  traced  in  its  primary  but  since 
modified  form  to  times  far  anterior  to  English  history,  when  a  very  wise  but 
by  no  means  faultless  king  composed  the  Book  of  Proverbs.  King  Solomon 
writes,  "  A  divine  sentence  is  in  the  lips  of  the  king  ;  his  mouth  transgress- 
eth  not  in  judgment."  {Proverbs  xvi.  10.)  Perhaps  there  is  more  historical 
connection  than  at  first  meets  the  eye  between  our  English  maxim  and  this 
proverb,  which,  however,  does  not  imply  impeccability,  but  infallibility, — for 
instance,  in  uttering  judgment.  The  proverb  was  quoted  by  certain  theolo- 
gians in  support  of  the  dogma  of  infallibility.  Now,  with  respect  to  the  Eng- 
lish Church,  an  English  king  assumed  the  pope's  place  ;  more,  he  was  invested 
by  his  devoted  servants  with  attributes  that  seemed  to  transcend  those  of  the 
pope  himself  Parliament,  prohibiting  appeals  to  Rome,  vested  in  Henry 
VIII.  the  right  of  deciding  ecclesiastical  causes.  Cranmer  admitted  his 
superiority  to  all  law,  ecclesiastical  or  civil,  which  is  nearly  equivalent  to 
saying  the  king  can  do  no  wrong.  English  jurisprudence  has  other  similar 
maxims  relating  to  the  crown, — e.g.,  "The  king  is  under  no  man,  yet  he  is  in 
subjection  to  God  and  to  the  law,  for  the  law  makes  the  king"  (Bkacton,  lib. 
L,  fol.  5),  and  "  The  king  never  dies"  (Branch  :  Maxims,  fifth  ed.,  197).     But 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  5^7 

k  is  understood  in  this  connection  that  "  the  person  of  the  king  is  by  law 
made  up  of  two  bodies  :  a  natural  body,  subject  to  infancy,  infirmity,  sickness, 
and  death  ;  and  a  political  body,  perfect,  powerful,  and  perpetual."  The  first 
appearance  of  the  saying  in  its  present  form  is  in  2  Rolle's  Reports,  p.  304, 
tetnp.  James  I.  The  maxim,  however,  has  not  been  interpreted  by  all  English- 
men and  in  all  ages  alike.  That  second  Solomon,  James  I.,  would  probably 
have  much  preferred  the  idea  of  a  king  conveyed  by  Cowell  :  "  He  is  supra 
legetn  by  his  absolute  right."  The  view  generally  entertained  by  modern 
Englishmen  is  well  expressed  by  Blackstone  : 

That  the  king  can  do  no  wrong  is  a  necessary  and  fundamental  principle  of  the  English 
constitution,  me.ining  only  .  .  .  that,  in  the  first  place,  whatever  may  be  amiss  in  the  con- 
duct of  public  affairs  is  not  chargeable  personally  on  the  king  ;  rior  is  he,  but  his  ministers, 
accountable  for  it  to  the  people. —  Commentaries,  Book  iii.,  ch.  xvii. 

That  is,  responsibility  for  wrong  committed  is  not  monarchical,  but  minis- 
terial. The  offending  ministry  under  pressure  of  public  opinion  goes  out. 
In  this  sense  the  king  can  do  no  wrong.  Wrong  may  be  done,  but  it  is  not 
done  by  the  sovereign. 

To  return  to  the  parallel  of  royal  and  papal  infallibility.  This  latter  is  not 
to  be  understood  as  an  attribute  of  the  pope  personally  or  per  se,  but  of  the 
pope  speaking  ex  cathedra, — the  pope  in  council.  So,  also,  according  to  the 
maxim,  it  is  not  the  individual  king  who  can  do  no  wrong,  but  the  king  in 
council  ;  the  administrative  authority  of  the  council  being  constitutionally 
merged  in  that  of  the  government  for  the  time-being. 

King  Cotton,  a  popular  personification  of  the  great  staple  of  the  South- 
ern States  of  the  American  Union.  His  reign  seems  to  have  been  first  pub- 
licly proclaimed  by  James  H.  Hammond,  of  South  Carolina.  In  a  speech 
delivered  by  Hammond  in  the  United  States  Senate  on  March  4,  1858,  he  said, 
"  No  ;  you  dare  not  make  war  upon  cotton.  No  power  on  earth  dares  make 
war  upon  it.  Cotton  is  king.  Until  lately  the  Bank  of  England  was  king ; 
but  she  tried  to  put  on  her  screws,  as  usual,  the  fall  before  the  last,  on  the 
cotton  crop,  and  was  utterly  vanquished.  The  last  power  has  been  conquered. 
Who  can  doubt,  that  has  looked  at  recent  events,  that  cotton  is  supreme  ?" 

But  earlier  by  some  three  years  (in  1855)  David  Christy  published  a  book 
entitled  "Cotton  is  King;  or,  Slavery  in  the  Light  of  Political  Economy." 

King  of  Reptiles,  a  nickname  given  to  Bernard  Germain  fitienne  de  la 
Ville,  Count  Lacepede  (1758-1825),  both  on  account  of  his  researches  into 
natural  history  embodied  in  a  work  called  "  Histoire  des  Reptiles,"  and 
because  of  the  eloquence  with  which  he  justified  the  arbitrary  measures  of 
Napoleon. 

King's  beard,  I  have  singed  the  Spanish.  The  episode  which  occa- 
sioned this  exclamation  of  Francis  Drake  happened  in  1587.  Negotiations 
were  going  on  between  the  representatives  of  Philip  II.  of  Spain  and  Queen 
Elizabeth  for  a  definitive  modus  vivendi.  Notwithstanding,  both  sides  con- 
tinued their  preparations  for  war.  It  was  no  secret  that  Philip  was  collecting 
or  building  the  ships  for  the  "  Invincible  Armada  ;"  all  Europe  was  talking  of 
the  enormous  fleets  with  which  both  the  Tagus  and  Cadiz  harbor  were  reported 
to  be  crowded.  "  With  some  misgivings,  but  in  one  of  her  bolder  moments,  the 
queen  allowed  Drake  to  take  a  flying  squadron  down  the  Spanish  coast.  She 
hung  about  his  neck  a  second  in  command  to  limit  his  movements  ;  but  Drake 
took  his  own  way,  leaving  his  vice-admiral  to  go  home  and  complain.  He 
sailed  into  Cadiz  harbor,  burnt  eighteen  galleons  which  were  lying  there,  and, 
remaining  leisurely  till  he  had  finished  his  work,  sailed  away,  intending  to 
repeat  the  operation  at  Lisbon.     It  might  have  been  done  with  the  same  ease. 


588  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  English  squadron  lay  at  the  mouth  of  the  river  within  sight  of  Santa 
Cruz,  and  the  great  admiral  had  to  sit  still  and  fume,  unable  to  go  out  and 
meet  him  por  falta  de  gente, — for  want  of  sailors  to  man  his  galleons.  Drake 
might  have  gone  in  and  burnt  them  all,  and  would  have  done  it  had  not  Eliza- 
beth felt  that  he  had  accomplished  enough,  and  that  the  negotiations  would 
be  broken  off  if  he  worked  more  destruction.  He  had  singed  the  king's 
beard  ;  and  the  king,  though  patient  of  affronts,  was  moved  to  a  passing  emo- 
tion." (Froude  :  Spanish  Story  of  the  Armada.) 

Kings  rise  and  set.  In  Shelley's  lyrical  drama  of  "  Hellas"  his  Sublime 
Highness  Mahmoud  exclaims  to  Hassan, — 

Kings  are  like  stars  :  they  rise  and  set,  they  have 
The  worship  of  the  world,  but  no  repose. 

Bacon  has  a  similar  figure  :"  Princes  are  like  to  heavenly  bodies,  which 
cause  good  or  evil  times,  and  which  have  much  veneration,  but  no  rest."  The 
thought,  of  course,  is  found  in  Shakespeare  : 

Uneasy  lies  the  head  that  wears  a  crown. 

But  this  is  a  truism  which  has  been  echoed  and  re-echoed  down  the  ages 
since  kings  and  crowns  were.  There  is  a  far-off  resemblance  also  in  Shelley's 
line  to  Sterne's  question,  "  Kingdoms  and  provinces,  and  towns  and  cities, 
have  they  not  their  periods  ?"  But  that  question  was  anticipated  by  Burton  and 
answered  thus  :  "  Kingdoms,  provinces,  cities,  and  towns  have  their  periods." 

Kiss.  The  envied  kiss  to  share.  One  of  the  most  beautiful  stanzas 
in  Gray's  Elegy  is  this  : 

For  them  no  more  the  blazing  hearth  shall  burn. 

Or  busy  housewife  ply  her  evening  care ; 
No  children  run  to  lisp  their  sire's  return, 

Or  climb  his  knees  the  envied  kiss  to  share. 

Thomson,  Klopstock,  Collins,  Dyer,  and  Gessner  all  have  passages  very 
similar  to  this,  and  so  has  Virgil  (Georgics,  ii.  523) : 

He  feels  the  father's  and  the  husband's  bliss ; 
His  infants  climb  and  struggle  for  a  kiss. 
But  all  these  copy  Lucretius  (Be  Rertim  Natura,  iii.  907) : 

At  jam  non  domus  accipiet  te  laeta  ;  neque  uxor 
Opiima,  nee  dulces  occurrent  oscula  nati 
Prsripere,  et  tacita  pectus  dulcedine  tangent. 

("  But  thy  dear  home  shall  never  greet  thee  more  ; 
No  more  the  best  of  wives  ! — thy  babes  beloved, 
Whose  haste  half  met  thee,  emulous  to  snatch 
The  dulcet  kiss  that  roused  thy  secret  soul. 
Again  shall  never  hasten  !") 

This  beautiful  address  is  said  by  Good,  to  whom  we  owe  the  above  transla- 
tion, to  be  "a  perfect  copy  of  the  Athenian  Dirge  ;"  or  perhaps  the  author 
got  the  first  germ  of  the  thought  from  Homer's  lines,  thus  rendered  by 
Pope: 

Know  thou  whoe'er  with  heavenly  power  contends, 

Short  is  his  date,  and  soon  his  glory  ends. 

From  fields  of  death,  when  late  he  shall  retire. 

No  infant  on  his  knees  shall  call  him  sire. 

Kiss  the  rod,  a  familiar  locution,  meaning  to  accept  punishment  without 
remonstrance,  to  acknowledge  that  the  smiting  hand  is  cruel  only  to  be  kind. 

Lord  Lytton  ("Owen  Meredith")  was  seated  one  day  at  dinner  next  to  a 
lady  whose  name  was  Birch,  and  who,  tradition  says,  was  beautiful,  if  not 
over-intelligent.     Said  she  to  his  Excellency, — 

"  Are  you  acquainted  with  any  of  the  Birches  ?" 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  5^9 

Replied  his  Excellency,  "  Oh,  yes,  I  knew  some  of  them  most  intimately 
while  at  Eton  ;  indeed,  more  intimately  than  I  cared  to." 

"Sir,"  replied  the  lady,  "you  forget  that  the  Birches  are  relatives  of 
mine." 

"  And  yet  they  cut  me,"  said  the  viceroy ;  "  but,"  and  he  smiled  his  wonted 
smile,  "  I  have  never  felt  more  inclined  to  kiss  the  rod  than  I  do  now." 

Mrs.  Birch,  sad  to  say,  did  not  see  the  point,  and,  so  the  gossips  have  it, 
told  her  husband  that  his  Excellency  had  insulted  her. 
John  Pomfret  (1667-1703)  varies  the  metaphor  : 

We  bear  it  calmly,  though  a  ponderous  woe, 
And  still  adore  the  hand  that  gives  the  blow. 

Verses  to  his  Friend  under  Affliction. 

Pope  may  have  had  Pomfret  in  mind  when  he  wrote, — 
The  lamb  thy  riot  dooms  to  bleed  to-day, 
Had  he  thy  reason,  would  he  skip  and  play  ? 
Pleased  to  the  last  he  crops  the  flowery  food, 
And  licks  the  hand  just  raised  lo  shed  his  blood. 

Essay  on  Man. 

D'Israeli  has  discovered  another  parallel.    "  After  pausing  on  the  last  two 
fine  verses,"  he  says,  "  will  not  the  reader  smile  that  I  should  conjecture  the 
image  might  originally  have  been  discovered  in  the  following  humble  verses 
in  a  poem  once  considered  not  as  contemptible  ?" 
A  gentle  lamb  has  rhetoric  to  plead, 
And  when  she  sees  the  butcher's  knife  decreed. 
Her  voice  entreats  him  not  to  make  her  bleed. 

Dr.  King  :  Mully  0/  Mountown. 

Kitchen  Cabinet,  a  name  derisively  applied  to  three  friends  of  Presi- 
dent Andrew  Jackson, — Francis  P.  Blair,  editor  of  the  Globe,  administration 
organ,  Amos  Kendall,  one  of  its  chief  contributors,  and  Isaac  Hill,  of  New 
Hampshire.  Jackson  frequently  held  private  consultations  with  these  gen- 
tlemen, admitting  them  by  a  back  door,  so  as  to  avoid  observation,  and  the 
Whig  party  held  that  it  was  by  their  advice  that  so  many  Whigs  were  re- 
moved from  office  to  make  room  for  Democrats.  The  following  rhymes  were 
very  popular  at  the  period  : 

King  Andrew  had  five  trusty  'squires. 

Whom  he  held  his  bid  to  do ; 
He  also  had  three  pilot-fish 
To  give  the  sharks  their  cue. 

There  was  Mat  and  Lou  and  Jack  and  Lev, 

And  Roger  of  Taney  hue. 
And  Blair  the  cook, 
And  Kendall  chief  cook, 

And  Isaac,  surnamed  the  true. 

The  five  squires  were  Martin  Van  Buren,  Secretary  of  State  ;  Louis  Mc- 
Lane,  Secretary  of  the  Treasury  ;  John  Branch,  Secretary  of  the  Navy  ;  Levi 
Woodbury,  Branch's  successor ;  and  Roger  B.  Taney,  Attorney-General. 

Kite,  ELite-flying.  Kite  is  a  colloquialism  both  in  America  and  in  England 
for  fictitious  commercial  paper.  Hence  kite-flying  means  raising  money  on  a 
fictitious  bill.  The  phrase  seems  to  have  originated  in  Ireland,  as  it  is  first 
met  with  in  Irish  literature, — e.g. : 

Here's  bills  plenty,— long  bills  and  short  bills  ;  but  even  the  kites,  which  I  can  fly  as  well  as 
any  man,  won't  raise  the  money  for  me  now.— Maria  Edgeworth  :  Love  and  Law. 

An  English  judge  was  once  trying  a  case  in  Ireland  regarding  certain  false  securities  for 
raising  money,  which  in  that  country  are  popularly  known  as  "  kites."  This  term,  which  was 
applied  to  the  notes  in  question  by  the  counsel,  completely  puzzled  Lord  Redesdale.    "  Kites, 

50 


59°  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Mr.  Plunkett !"  he  exclaimed  ;  "  kites  could  never  amount  to  the  value  of  these  securities.  I 
do  not  understand  this  statement  at  all,  Mr.  Plunkett."  "  It  is  not  to  be  expected  that  you 
should,  my  lord,"  answered  Plunkett.  "  In  England  and  in  Ireland  kites  are  quite  dif- 
ferent things.  In  England  the  wind  raises  the  kites,  but  in  Ireland  the  kites  raise  the  wind." 
— Enchiridion  of  Wit. 

In  America  the  term  kite-flying  is  applied  to  a  financial  transaction  like  the 
following.  Two  men  living  in  different  towns  exchange  checks  larger  than 
their  deposits  in  bank.  Each  deposits  in  his  own  bank  and  draws.  Of  course 
the  deficiency  of  each  must  be  made  good,  but  several  days'  time  may  be 
gained  before  the  respective  checks  find  their  way  home. 

Knee,  A  sore  (Fr.  "  Mai  de  genou"),  a  euphemism  common  in  France, 
and  occasionally  used  in  England,  and  applied  to  a  woman  who  is  pregnant. 

The  impresario  Veron,  in  his  Memoirs,  tells  an  amusing  story  about  Taglioni. 
He  had  resigned  his  position  at  the  French  Opera.  Taglioni  had  still  a  year's 
engagement  to  run  with  his  successor.  Soon  after  Veron's  resignation,  Tagli- 
oni sent  round  to  the  new  director  to  say  that  she  could  not  dance,  as  she 
had  a  bad  knee  {mal  de  genou).  All  the  ordinary  and  extraordinary  physicians 
and  surgeons  connected  with  the  Opera  were  hastily  summoned  to  consult  as 
to  what  could  be  done  for  Taglioni's  knee;  for  if  she  did  not  appear,  the 
opera-house  might  almost  as  well  close  up. 

The  consultation  was  brief  and  serious.  The  eminent  physicians  and  sur- 
geons paid  the  fair  dancer  a  visit  in  her  apartments.  The  knee  was  examined. 
They  could  discover  no  swelling,  no  redness,  but  at  the  least  touch  Taglioni's 
face  put  on  an  expression  of  the  greatest  suffering.  The  learned  gentlemen 
lost  their  tempers  discussing  tendons  and  nerves,  and  eventually  decided  that 
the  bad  knee  baffled  their  skill,  and  that  they  must  await  developments. 

Three  or  four  years  later,  a  gentleman  who  had  been  present  at  the  consul- 
tation was  called  to  St.  Petersburg.  Taglioni  was  then  dancing  at  the  Im- 
perial Theatre.  The  gentleman  called  upon  her,  and  found  her  fondling  in  her 
arms  a  beautiful  little  girl. 

"  Whose  pretty  little  daughter  is  that?"  he  asked. 

Taglioni  burst  out  laughing,  and  replied, — 

"  Cest  mon  mal  de  genou"  ("  It's  my  bad  knee"). 

Knifing,  political  slang  for  a  form  of  treachery  which  consists  of  organ- 
ized and  secret  measures  to  defeat  a  party  candidate  while  ostensibly  support- 
ing him.  The  resort  is  generally  had  to  omitting  to  furnish  the  necessary 
ballots  on  election-day,  and  other  chicanery,  but  principally  an  underhand 
supporting,  in  consideration  of  favors  returned  or  promised,  of  the  opposing 
candidate. 

Knock  spots  out  of.  When  the  use  of  fire-arms  was  more  general  in 
the  United  States  than  it  is  now,  gentlemen  used  to  train  the  eye  by  shooting 
at  cards,  and  when  they  had  acquired  sufficient  proficiency  to  be  able  to  shoot 
through  any  given  spot  on  a  card  nailed  to  a  tree  at  the  regulation  distance 
they  were  said  to  be  able  to  "knock  spots"  out  of  anybody  or  anything.  By 
extension  the  phrase  means  that  the  person  spoken  of  is  proficient  in  any  other 
accomplishment. 

Knock  under  the  table,  generally  contracted  to  "  knock  under,"  a 
common  expression  to  denote  submission.  Johnson  says,  "  Submission  is 
expressed  among  good  fellows  by  'knocking  under  the  table.'" 

He  that  flinches  his  glass,  and  to  drink  is  not  able, 
Let  him  quarrel  no  more,  but  knock  under  the  table. 

Tom  Brown  :    IVorks,  iv.  i6. 
Its  equivalent,  to  "  knuckle  under,"  appears  to  be  the  older  phrase.     Knuckle 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  59 ^ 

was  formerly  the  knee,  hence  to  knuckle  under  meant  simply  to  kneel  in  sub- 
mission. From  a  modern  misapprehension  of  the  expression  to  knuckle 
under  arose  the  practice  of  knocking  under  the  table  with  the  knuckles 
(suiting  the  action  to  the  word)  as  a  sign  of  submission,  and  thence  the  phrase 
as  we  now  have  it. 

Knocked  into  a  cocked  hat,  a  slang  phrase,  signifying  the  demolition 
of  an  antagonist,  either  physically  or  figuratively  by  argument,  etc.  The 
usual  derivation  of  the  phrase  is  the  obvious  one  that  it  means  to  be  so  beaten 
as  to  be  limp  enough  to  be  doubled  up  and  carried  flat  under  the  arm,  like 
the  cocked  hat  of  an  officer. 

Another  explanation  is  suggested,  which  seems  better,  since  it  is  derived 
from  a  figure  less  unfamiliar  to  Americans  than  an  officer's  cocked  hat.  A 
"cocked  hat,"  in  the  game  of  bowls  or  tenpins,  is  a  figure  in  which  only  the 
two  corner  pins  and  the  head  pin  are  left  standing,  forming  a  triangle.  Any 
one  at  all  acquainted  with  the  game  knows  that  to  roll  down  with  a  single 
ball  all  the  tenpins  of  a  frame  except  the  three  indicated — i.e.,  to  knock  them 
into  a  cocked  hat — would  be  a  feat  sufficiently  remarkable  to  become  the 
foundation  for  a  by-word. 

Know.  To  know  her  was  to  love  her.  Fitz-Greene  Halleck's  lines 
on  his  fellow-poet  Drake  have  imperishably  embalmed  the  memory  of  both : 

Green  be  the  turf  above  thee. 

Friend  of  my  better  days  ! 
None  knew  thee  but  to  love  thee. 

Nor  named  thee  but  to  praise. 

On  the  Death  of  Joseph  Rodman  Drake. 

Rogers  may  have  suggested  the  third  line  : 

She  was  good  as  she  was  fair. 

None — none  on  earth  above  her ! 
As  pure  in  thought  as  angels  are  : 
To  know  her  was  to  love  her. 

Jacqueline ,  Stanza  i. 

But  Rogers  in  turn  was  indebted  to  Burns  : 

But  to  see  her  was  to  love  her. 
Love  but  her,  and  love  forever. 

Ae  Fond  Kiss. 

An  equally  famous  compliment  is  that  which  Steele  paid  to  Lady  Elizabeth 
Hastings  : 

Though  her  mien  carries  much  more  invitation  than  command,  to  behold  her  is  an  imme- 
diate check  to  loose  behavior ;  to  love  her  was  a  liberal  education. — Tatler,  No.  49. 

One  of  Michael  Angelo's  sonnets  to  Vittoria  Colonna  is  not  unlike  Steele's 
prose  in  its  opening  sentiment.     Here  is  Hartley  Coleridge's  version  : 

The  might  of  one  fair  face  sublimes  my  love. 
For  it  hath  weaned  my  heart  from  low  desires. 

A  close  parallel  to  the  last  clause  is  found  in  Beaumont  and  Fletcher: 
She  teaches  in  her  dancing ;  'tis  indeed 
A  school  to  teach  all  we  call  liberal. 

The  Faithful  Friends. 

Know,  All  you.  There  is  a  jest  current  especially  among  the  ingenuous 
youth  of  America,  and  known  also  in  England,  which  assumes  the  most  pro- 
tean forms,  from  the  distinctly  American  "  I've  got  a  spare  minute  ;  tell  me  all 
you  know,"  or  "There's  a  half-dollar  ;  quick,  tell  me  all  you  know,  and  give 
me  the  change,"  to  the  Anglo-American  gibe  thus  recorded  in  Southey's 
"Doctor  :"  "Some  of  my  contemporaries  may  remember  a  story  once  current 
at  Cambridge,  of  a  luckless  undergraduate  who,  being  examined  for  his 
degree  and  failing  in  every  subject  upon  which  he  was  tried,  complained  that 


592  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

he  had  not  been  questioned  upon  the  things  that  he  knew.  Upon  which  the 
examining  master,  moved  less  to  compassion  by  the  impenetrable  dulness  of 
the  man  than  to  anger  by  his  unreasonable  complaint,  tore  off  about  an  inch 
of  paper,  and,  pushing  it  towards  him,  desired  him  to  write  upon  that  all  he 
knew."  The  jest  has  a  venerable  antiquity.  For  all  we  know,  it  may  have 
been  the  retort  made  to  the  First  Man  when  he  endeavored  to  teach  his 
gorilla  grandmother  how  to  suck  eggs.  Two  well-known  variations  are  the 
rebuke  of  the  clergyman  to  the  young  man  who  said  he  would  believe  nothing 
which  he  could  not  understand,  "Then,  young  man,  your  creed  will  be  the 
shortest  of  any  man's  I  know,"  and  the  reply  of  Dr.  Parr  to  the  youth  who 
tauntingly  asked  him  why  he  did  not  write  a  book  :  "  Sir,"  said  the  doctor,  "I 
know  how  I  could  soon  write  a  very  large  book."  "  How  so.'"  "Why,  sir, 
by  putting  in  all  that  I  know  and  all  that  you  do  not  know." 

Know  nothing,  I  know  that  I.  Socrate^;,  in  his  "Apology"  to  the 
court  of  his  fellow-citizens  who  condemned  him  to  death  for  impiety,  ex- 
claimed,— 

He  is  wisest  among  you,  O  citizens,  who,  like  Socrates,  has  come  to  know  that  he  is  in 
truth  worth  nothing  as  regards  wisdom. — Plato  :   The  Apology  of  Socrates. 

This  phrase  has  usually  been  condensed  into  "  I  know  only  that  I  know 
nothing."  Thus,  Sir  Thomas  Browne  says,  "  Heads  of  capacity,  and  such  as 
are  not  full  with  a  handful,  or  easy  measure  of  knowledge,  think  they  know 
nothing  till  they  know  all  ;  which  being  impossible,  they  fall  upon  the  opinion 
of  Socrates,  and  only  know  they  know  not  anything ;"  and  Congreve, 
"  You  read  of  but  one  wise  man,  and  all  that  he  knew  was  that  he  knew 
nothing."  Congreve's  reference  may  be  to  Solomon,  but  the  nearest  approach 
to  the  sentiment  in  Ecclesiastes  is  in  chap.  i.  v.  17  :  "And  I  gave  my  heart 
to  know  wisdom,  and  to  know  madness  and  folly  :  I  perceived  that  this  also 
is  vexation  of  spirit."  Later  on  (ii.  13,  14)  the  Preacher  expressly  says,  "I 
saw  that  wisdom  excelleth  folly,  as  far  as  light  excelleth  darkness.  The  wise 
man's  eyes  are  in  his  head  ;  but  the  fool  walketh  in  darkness."  Nevertheless, 
as  the  end  of  both  is  death,  he  conceives  that  all  is  vanity.  To  the  Socratic 
mind  the  only  difference  between  a  wise  man  and  a  fool  is  that  the  former  at 
least  knows  that  he  knows  nothing. 

Numerous  echoes  of  this  doctrine  of  universal  nescience  are  found  in  all 
literature.  Thus,  Diogenes  Laertius,  in  his  Life  of  Pyrrho,  tells  us  that 
Xenophanes  speaks  thus : 

And  no  man  knows  distinctly  anything, 
And  no  man  ever  will, 

and  that  Democritus  says,  "  But  we  know  nothing  really  ;  for  truth  lies  deep 
down."  The  598th  maxim  of  Publius  Syrus  runs,  "  He  bids  fair  to  grow  wise 
who  has  discovered  that  he  is  not  so." 

In  Shakespeare  the  thought  takes  this  turn: 

The  fool  doth  think  he  is  wise,  but  the  wise  man  knows  himself  to  be  a  fool. — As  You 
Like  It,  Act  v.,  Sc.  i. 

Owen  Feltham,  in  his  once-popular  "Resolves,"  says,  in  his  twenty-seventh 
essay,  on  "  Curiosity  in  Knowledge," — 

Our  knowledge  doth  but  show  us  our  ignorance.  Our  most  studious  scrutiny  is  but  a  dis- 
covery of  what  we  cannot  know ; 

and  Pope,  in  his  "  Essay  on  Man,"  Epistle  iv.,  1.  258, — 

In  parts  superior  what  advantage  lies? 
Tell  (for  you  can)  what  is  it  to  be  wise? 
'Tis  but  to  know  how  little  can  be  known, — 
To  see  all  others'  faults,  and  feel  our  own; 

and  Voltaire, — 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  593 

I  am  ignorant  how  I  was  formed,  and  how  I  was  born.  I  was  perfectly  ignorant,  for  a 
quarter  of  my  life,  of  the  reasons  of  all  that  I  saw,  htard,  and  felt,  and  was  a  mere  parrot, 
talking  by  rote  in  imitation  of  other  parrots.  When  I  looked  about  me  and  within  me,  1  con- 
ceived that  something  existed  from  all  eternity.  Since  there  are  beings  actually  existing,  I 
concluded  that  there  is  some  being  necessary  and  necessarily  eternal.  Thus  the  first  step 
which  I  took  to  extricate  myself  from  my  ignorance  overpassed  the  limits  of  all  ages— the 
boundaries  of  time.  But  when  I  was  desirous  of  proceeding  in  this  infinite  career,  I  could 
neither  perceive  a  single  path,  nor  clearly  distinguish  a  single  object ;  and  from  the  flight  which 
I  took  to  contemplate  eternity,  I  have  fallen  back  into  the  abyss  of  my  original  ignorance. 

But  the  finest  expression  it  finds  is  that  put  into  the  mouth  of  Faust  by 
Goethe,  in  the  soliloquy  which  opens  the  drama : 

I've  studied  now  Philosophy 
And  Jurisprudence,  Medicine, 
And  even,  alas  !  Theology, 
From  end  to  end,  with  labor  keen  ; 
And  here,  poor  fool !  with  all  my  lore 
♦  I  stand  no  wiser  than  before  : 

I'm  Magister,  yea.  Doctor,  hight. 
And  straight  or  crosswise,  wrong  or  right. 
These  ten  long  years,  with  many  woes, 
I've  led  my  scholars  by  the  nose, 
And  see  that  nothing  can  be  known. 

Goethe  owns  that  his  drama  is  founded  on  the  old  puppet-play,  one  version 
of  which  was  also  utilized  by  Marlowe.  "The  puppet-play,"  says  Goethe, 
"echoed  and  vibrated  in  many  tones  through  my  mind.  I  also  had  gone 
from  one  branch  of  knowledge  to  another,  and  was  early  enough  convinced 
of  the  vanity  of  all."  Bayard  Taylor  translates  several  of  the  early  versions 
of  Faust's  soliloquy,  showing  that  Goethe  followed  the  words  very  closely, 
only  casting  them  in  a  rhythmical  and  more  spirited  form. 

It  is  probable  that  the  author  of  the  following  lines  had  drawn  inspiration 
from  the  old  puppet-play,  and  also  from  Shakespeare  : 

Yet  all  that  I  have  learn'd  (huge  toyles  now  past) 

By  long  experience,  and  in  famous  schooles. 
Is  but  to  know  my  ignorance  at  last. 

Who  think  themselves  most  wise  are  greatest  fools. 

William,  Earl  of  Stikling:  Recreations  luith  the  Muses, 
London,  fol.,  1637,  p.  7. 

In  another  place  Goethe  acknowledges  in  effect  that  it  was  only  his  youthful 
ignorance  that  made  him  a  poet :  "  Had  I  earlier  known  how  many  excellent 
things  have  been  in  existence  for  hundreds  and  thousands  of  years,  I  should 
have  written  no  line  ;  I  should  have  had  enough  else  to  do."  Michael  Angelo, 
in  his  last  days,  made  a  design  of  himself  as  a  child  in  a  go-cart,  with  this 
motto  under  it:  "I  am  yet  learning."  Macaulay,  the  year  before  his  death, 
wrote  in  his  diary,  "  Alas,  how  short  life,  and  how  long  art  !  I  feel  as  if  I  had 
just  begun  to  understand  how  to  write,  and  the  probability  is  that  I  have  very 
nearly  done  writing."  Rubens  made  the  same  complaint  in  regard  to  painting, 
and  Mozart  in  regard  to  music.  St.  Jerome  tells  us  that  Theophrastus  at  one 
hundred  and  seven  years  of  age  lamented  that  he  was  obliged  to  quit  life  at 
a  time  when  he  had  just  begun  to  be  wise.  Let  us  conclude  with  an  Arabian 
proverb  which  only  partially  agrees  with  the  foregoing: 

He  who  knows  not,  and  knows  not  that  he  knows  not ;  he  is  a  fool,  shun  him. 

He  who  knows  not,  and  knows  that  he  knows  not ;  he  is  simple,  teach  him. 

He  who  knows,  and  knows  not  that  he  knows ;  he  is  asleep,  wake  him. 

He  who  knows,  and  knows  that  he  knows ;  he  is  wise,  follow  him. 

Knew  thyself.  Diogenes  Laertius  tells  us  that  when  Thales  was  asked 
what  was  difficult  he  answered,  "To  know  thyself,"  and  what  was  easy,  "To 
advise  another."  Thales  was  one  of  the  so-called  Seven  Wise  Men  of  Greece. 
The  maxim  "  Know  thyself"  has  also  been  attributed  to  Chilo,  Plato,  Pythag- 
oras, Cleobulus,  Socrates,  and  others.  Juvenal  i,^Satires,  xi.  27)  says  the  pre- 
nn  50* 


594  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

cept  descended  from  heaven.  It  was  inscribed  upon  the  temple  of  Apollo 
at  Menii^his  with  that  other  famous  saying,  M7?(5«'  ayav,  better  known  to  us  in 
the  Latin  form  Ne  quid  niniis  {^q.  v.).  Many  moderns  have  echoed  Thales's 
saying,— f.^..- 

Full  wise  is  he  that  can  himselven  knowe. 

Chaucer  :  Menkes  Tale,  1.  1449. 
Make  it  thy  business  to  know  thyself,  which  is  the  most  difficult  lesson  in  the  world. — Cer- 
vantes :  Don  Quixote,  ch.  xlii. 

Know  then  thyself,  presume  not  God  to  scan  : 
The  proper  study  of  mankind  is  man. 

Pope  :  Essay  on  Man,  Ep.  ii. 
The  highest  point  to  which  man  can  attain  is  the  consciousness  of  his  own  sensations  and 
thoughts,  the  knowledge  of  himself. — Goethe  :   Table-  Talk. 

But  Montaigne  held  that  the  saying  was  luckily  impossible  of  fulfilment : 
"  Nature,  that  we  may  not  be  dejected  with  our  deformities,  has  wisely  thrust 
the  action  of  seeing  outward."  "  In  vain,"  says  Xavier  de  Maistre,  "  are 
looking-glasses  multiplied  around  us  which  reflect  light  and  truth  with  geo- 
metrical exactness.  As  soon  as  the  rays  reach  our  vision  and  paint  us  as  we 
are,  self-love  slips  its  deceitful  prism  between  us  and  our  image  and  presents 
a  divinity  to  us.  And  of  all  the  prisms  that  have  existed  since  the  first  that 
came  from  the  hands  of  the  immortal  Newton,  none  has  possessed  so  power- 
ful a  refractive  force,  or  produced  such  pleasing  and  lively  colors,  as  the  prism 
of  self-love.  Now,  seeing  that  ordinary  looking-glasses  record  the  truth  in 
vain,  and  that  they  cannot  make  men  see  their  own  imperfections,  every  one 
being  satisfied  with  his  face,  what  would  a  moral  mirror  avail  ?  Few  people 
would  look  at  it,  and  no  one  would  liecognize  himself."  "Oh,  the  incompa- 
rable contrivance  of  Nature,"  exclaims  Erasmus,  "  who  has  ordered  all  things 
in  so  even  a  method  that  wherever  she  has  been  less  bountiful  in  her  gifts, 
there  she  makes  it  up  with  a  larger  dose  of  self-love,  which  supplies  the 
former  defects  and  makes  all  even."  "Could  all  mankind,"  says  John  Norris, 
"  lay  claim  to  that  estimate  which  they  pass  upon  themselves,  there  would  be 
little  or  no  difference  betwixt  lapsed  and  perfect  humanity,  and  God  might 
again  review  his  image  with  paternal  complacency,  and  still  pronounce  it 
good."  "  Blinded  as  men  are  as  to  their  true  character  by  self-love,  every 
man,"  says  Plutarch,  "is  his  own  first  and  chiefest  flatterer,  prepared  therefore 
to  welcome  the  flatterer  from  the  outside,  who  only  comes  confirming  the 
verdict  of  the  flatterer  within." 

Evidently  these  gentlemen  would  not  echo  the  prayer  of  Burns  : 

Oh,  wad  some  power  the  giftie  gie  us 
To  see  oursel's  as  others  see  us  ! 
It  wad  frae  monie  a  blunder  free  us. 
And  foolish  notion. 

To  a  Louse. 

One  of  Dr.  Holmes's  most  ingenious  paradoxes  is  that  wherein  he  makes 
his  Autocrat  announce  to  the  startled  breakfast-table  that  when  John  and 
Thomas,  for  instance,  are  talking  together  "it  is  natural  enough  that  among 
the  six  there  should  be  more  or  less  confusion  and  misapprehension."  He 
calms  all  suspicion  as  to  his  sanity  by  enumerating  them,  as  follows : 

(I.  The  real  John ;  known  only  to  his  Maker. 
2.  John's  ideal  John  ;  never  the  real  one,  and  often  very  un- 
like him. 
3.  Thomas's  ideal  John ;    never  the  real  John,  nor  John 
John,  but  often  very  unlike  either. 
I.  The  real  Thomas. 
Three  Thomases.  \  2.  Thomas's  ideal  Thomas. 
3.  John's  ideal  Thomas. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  595 

"  Only  one  of  the  three  Johns  is  taxed  ;  only  one  can  be  weighed  on  a  plat- 
form-balance ;  but  the  other  two  are  just  as  important  in  the  conversation.  Let 
us  suppose  the  real  John  to  be  old,  dull,  and  ill-looking.  But,  as  the  Higher 
Powers  have  not  conferred  on  men  the  gift  of  seeing  themselves  in  the  true 
light,  John  very  possibly  conceives  himself  to  be  youthful,  witty,  and  fasci- 
nating, and  talks  from  the  point  of  view  of  this  ideal."  So,  likewise,  with  the 
three  Thomases.  "  It  follows  that,  until  a  man  can  be  found  who  knows  him- 
self as  his  Maker  knows  him,  or  who  sees  himself  as  others  see  him,  there 
must  be  at  least  six  persons  engaged  in  every  dialogue  between  two.  Of  these 
the  least  important,  philosophically  speaking,  is  the  one  that  we  have  called 
the  real  person."  Now,  the  central  meaning  of  this  passage  is  thus  sum- 
marized by  Alphonse  Karr  :  "  Every  person  has  three  characters  :  that  which 
he  exhibits,  that  which  he  has,  and  that  which  he  thinks  he  has."  The 
Frenchman  and  the  American  may  have  hit  upon  the  same  idea  independently, 
but  the  likeness  is  certainly  startling.  The  idea  finds  a  predecessor,  too,  in  a 
sermon  of  Adam  Littleton's  (circa  1678)  :  "  Every  person  is  made  of  three 
Egos,  and  has  three  Selfs  in  him,"  and  this  appears  "in  the  reflection  of  Con- 
science upon  actions  of  a  dubious  nature,  while  one  Self  accuses,  another 
Self  defends,  and  the  third  Self  passes  judgment  upon  what  hath  been  so 
done  by  the  man."  This  he  adduces  as  among  various  "mean  and  unworthy 
comparisons,  whereby  to  show  that  though  the  mysterious  doctrine  of  the 
Trinity  far  exceeds  our  reason,  there  want  not  natural  instances  to  illustrate 
it."  The  passage  is  quoted  by  Southey  in  "  The  Doctor."  Here  the  analogy 
is  less  complete  than  that  between  Holmes  and  Karr,  but  it  is  still  interesting 
enough  to  be  noted. 

Know  ye  the  land.  One  of  the  most  remarkable  similitudes  in  litera- 
ture is  in  the  following  stanzas,  the  first  from  Byron  and  the  latter  from 
Goethe : 

Know  ye  the  land  where  the  cypress  and  myrtle 

Are  emblems  of  deeds  that  are  done  in  their  clime  , 
Where  the  rage  of  the  vulture,  the  love  of  the  turtle. 
Now  melt  into  sorrow,  now  madden  to  crime? 

The  Bride  of  Abydos ,  Canto  i..  Stanza  i. 
Know'st  thou  the  land  where  the  lemon-trees  bloom. 
Where  the  gold  orange  glows  in  the  deep  thicket's  gloom. 
Where  a  wind  ever  soft  from  the  blue  heaven  blows, 
And  the  groves  are  of  laurel  and  myrtle  and  rose? 

Mignon  s  Song,  in  "  Wilhelm  Meister." 
Byron,  of  course,  is  the  plagiarist.     But  he  has  produced  a  passage  equal 
in  beauty  to  the  original,  and  the  beauty  of  it  is  essentially  Byronic.     It  is  not 
a  question  of  improving  on  a  great  original, — Goethe's  lines  are  unsurpass- 
able,— but  of  producing  a  different  and  equal  beauty  out  of  a  parallel  idea. 

Knovirledge  is  po'wer.  The  coinage  of  this  phrase  is  generally  and 
perhaps  justly  attributed  to  Lord  Bacon.  The  sentence  which  has  been  thus 
rendered  into  English  occurs  in  his  "Meditationes  Sacrae  :  De  Hseresibus," 
thus  :  "  Nam  et  ipsa  scientia  potestas  est,"  and  it  is  in  accord  with  the  whole 
teachings  of  his  philosophy.  In  his  essay  "  Of  Studies"  he  says,  "  Expert 
men  can  execute,  and  perhaps  judge  of,  particulars,  one  by  one  ;  but  the 
general  counsels,  and  the  plots  and  marshalling  of  affairs,  come  best  from 
those  that  are  learned."  Three  hundred  years  before  Bacon,  however,  the 
Persian  Saadi  uttered  the  same  sentiment : 

Knowledge  is  a  perennial  springof  wealth,  and  if  a  man  of  education  ceases  to  be  opulent, 
yet  he  need  not  be  sorrowful,  for  knowledge  of  itself  is  riches. — Gulistan  :  Of  the  Effects 
0/ Education,  Tale  ii. 

This  is  nothing  remarkable,  as  it  is  only  the  expression  of  an  opinion  of 
the  wise  of  all  ages.     "Crafty  men,"  continues  Bacon  in  his  essay,  "contemn 


596  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

studies ;"  and  the  crafty  and  worldly-wise  point  of  view  is  probably  best  ex- 
pressed by  Hobbes,  in  "Leviathan,"  ch.  x.,  "Of  Power,  Worth,  Dignity, 
Honor,  and  Worthiness  :" 

Power  is  the  present  means  to  procure  some  future  apparent  good.  .  .  .  Good  success  is 
power;  because  it  makeih  reputation  of  wisdom,  or  good  fortune  ;  which  makes  men  either 
iear  him  or  rely  on  him.   ... 

.   .   .   Eloquence  is  power ;  because  it  is  seeming  prudence.   .  .   . 

.  .  .  Form  is  power  ;  because,  being  a  promise  of  good,  it  recommendeth  men  to  the  favor 
of  women  and  strangers. 

The  sciences  are  small  power  ;  because  not  eminent ;  and  therefore  pot  acknowledged  in 
any  man  ;  nor  are  at  all,  but  in  few,  and  in  them,  but  of  a  few  things.  For  science  is  of  that 
nature  as  none  can  understand  it  to  be  but  such  as  in  good  measure  have  attained  it. 


Variations  on  the  theme  are  numerous  : 

Knowledge  is  indeed  that  which,  next  to  virtue,  truly  and  essentially  raises  one  man 
above  the  other.— Addison  :   The  Guardian,  No.  3. 

Simple  as  it  may  seem,  it  was  a  great  discovery  that  the  key  of  knowledge  should  turn 
both  ways,  that  it  could  open  as  well  as  lock  the  door  of  power  to  the  many. — Lowell  : 
Among  7iiy  Books  :  New  England  Two  Centuries  Ago. 
Shakespeare's  dictum, — 

Ignorance  is  the  curse  of  God, 
Knowledge  the  wing  whereby  we  fly  to  heaven, 

Henry  VI.,  Part  II.,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  7,— 

finds  a  close  parallel  in  the  Persian  Shah-Namah  : 

Choose  knowledge. 

If  thou  deslrest  a  blessing  from  the  Universal  Provider; 

For  the  ignorant  man  cannot  rise  above  the  earth  ; 

And  it  is  by  knowledge  that  thou  must  render  thyself  praiseworthy. 
Knowledge  under  difficulties.  This  phrase,  which  is  now  one  of  the 
commonest  forms  of  speech,  is  said  to  be  due  to  Lord  Brougham,  who  sug- 
gested it  to  Mr.  Craik  as  an  improvement  to  the  title  of  his  volume  written  in 
1828,  "  The  Love  of  Knowledge  overcoming  Difficulties  in  its  Pursuit,"  which 
was  accordingly  changed  to  "The  Pursuit  of  Knowledge  under  Difficulties" 
(Charles  K'night:  Passages  of  a  Working  Life,  ii.  135).  The  book  first 
appeared  in  two  volumes,  1830-1831,  among  the  publications  of  the  Society 
for  the  Diffusion  of  Useful  Knowledge.  The  sentence  is  put  in  the  mouth  of 
Mr.  Weller,  senior,  on  his  finding  Sam  writing  a  valentine.  "  Pickwick"  was 
published  in  1837,  and  the  phrase  was  then  already  current. 

Knovr-Nothings,  a  name  popularly  given  in  the  United  States  to  a  de- 
velopment out  of  the  "  American  party."  It  was  a  secret  political  order  which 
sprang  up  in  1853,  and  was  organized  in  New  York  by  E.  Z.  C.  Judson,  better 
known  as  "Ned  Buntline."  None  but  "Native  Americans" — i.e.,  natives  of 
the  country — were  allowed  admission.  To  all  questions  put  to  members  as 
to  the  movements  of  the  organization  the  prescribed  reply  was  "  I  don't 
know,"  whence  the  nickname.  The  secret  name  of  the  order  is  said  to  have 
been  "  Sons  of  '76."  Among  the  cardinal  tenets  of  the  organization  were 
bitter  opposition  to  Roman  Catholics,  a  "  pure  American"  common-school 
system,  repeal  or  radical  modification  of  the  naturalization  laws,  ineligibility 
to  public  office  of  any  but  native-born  Americans,  and  hostility  to  foreigners, 
whom  the  enormous  emigrations  into  the  United  States  it  was  feared  would 
soon  make  preponderant.  After  some  notable  successes  at  the  polls,  the 
organization  went  to  pieces,  the  American  party  having  first  split  into  "North 
Americans"  and  "  South  Americans"  on  the  slavery  question  and  disappeared 
from  national  politics  in  i860. 

Li  Massachusetts  there  is  an  odd  local  application  of  the  word.  A  serious 
railroad  accident  in  1854,  just  before  the  election  of  Governor  Gardiner,  the 
"  Native  American"  candidate,  resulted  in  the  enactment  of  a  law  requiring 
all  trains  to  stop  before  reaching  a  "  grade"  crossing.     The  recommendation 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  597 

of  its  passage  was  one  of  the  first  official  acts  of  the  new  governor,  whence 
these  crossings  were  called  "  Know-nothings." 

Kootoo,  or  Kotow,  in  Chinese,  to  "bow,"  to  "salaam,"  now  accepted 
into  the  vocabulary  of  familiar  English  on  both  sides  of  the  Atlantic  as  a 
synonyme  for  to  flatter,  to  be  obsequiously  polite,  to  boot-lick. 

Mr.  Thackeray  has  said  more,  and  more  effectually,  about  snobs  and  snobbism  than  any 
other  man  ;  and  yet  his  frittered  life  and  his  obedience  to  the  call  of  the  great  are  the  observed 
of  all  observers.  As  it  is  so,  so  must  it  be  ;  but  "  O  the  pity  of  it,  the  pity  of  it !"  Great 
and  unusual  allowance  is  to  be  made  in  his  case,  I  am  aware,  but  this  does  not  lessen  the  con- 
cern occasioned  by  the  spectacle  of  one  after  another  of  the  aristocracy  of  nature  making  the 
kotoo  to  the  aristocracy  of  accident.— Harriet  Martineau  :  Autobiography. 

Kuklux-Klan  (a  corruption  of  the  Greek  word  kvkIoq,  "a  circle,"  the 
"klan"  being  added  to  increase  the  alliterative  force  of  the  jingle),  a  secret 
association  of  Southerners,  originally  organized  June,  iS66,  by  a  few  young 
men  for  purposes  of  amusement  during  the  stagnation  that  followed  immedi- 
ately after  the  war.  Its  founders  had  builded  better  than  they  knew.  Branch 
orders  were  established  all  over  the  South,  and  it  became  an  immense  politi- 
cal organization,  whose  dual  object  was  to  maintain  order  against  the  internal 
lawlessness  that  was  then  rife  at  the  South  and  to  resist  the  encroachments 
of  Federal  authority,  especially  by  using  all  means  at  hand,  either  lawful  or 
unlawful,  fair  or  foul,  to  prevent  the  threatened  ascendency  of  the  negro  race, 
who  in  many  localities  were  numerically  predominant.  Part  of  their  plan 
of  carnpaign  was  the  intimidation  of  negro  voters  and  of  "carpet-bag"  set- 
tlers from  the  North.  Many  outrages  were  undeniably  committed  in  the 
midnight  raids  of  masked  members  of  the  Klan,  and  the  reports  of  these  out- 
rages, often  intensified,  exaggerated,  and  even  manufactured  out  of  the  whole 
cloth  for  partisan  effect,  served  to  keep  up  the  bitter  feeling  in  the  North 
which  found  vent  in  the  waving  of  the  bloody  flag.  A.  W.  Tourgee's  "A 
Fool's  Errand"  gives  an  excellent  picture  of  the  condition  of  things  in  the 
South  at  the  time  when  the  Klan  was  most  prevalent.  It  was  nominally  dis- 
banded by  its  presiding  Grand  Wizard  in  February,  1869,  but  Kuklux  raids 
were  common  for  several  years  after  that  date.  An  alternative  title  was  "The 
Invisible  Empire."  It  was  also  sometimes  known  as  "The  Knights  of  the 
White  Camellia"  and  "The  Knights  of  the  Golden  Circle,"  but  these  were 
the  names  of  secret  societies  founded  before  the  Kuklux-Klan,  which  had 
merged  into  it. 


L. 

L,  the  twelfth  letter  and  ninth  consonant  of  the  English  alphabet.  It  comes 
to  us  through  the  Greek  and  Latin  from  the  Phcenician.  (See  Alphabet.) 
As  an  abbreviation  it  stands  for  libra,  pound  sterling,  and  is  written  either  in 
lower-case  italic  after  the  sum,  or  in  the  conventional  form  £  before  it,  thus, 
100/.,  or  ;[Cioo.  "  The  three  L's"  is  a  nautical  phrase,  formed  possibly  on  the 
basis  of  "  the  three  R's,"  and  meaning  "lead,  latitude,  and  lookout,"  the 
three  chief  things  to  be  considered  in  keeping  a  ship  from  running  aground. 

Labor.  He  has  had  his  labor  for  his  pains,  a  proverbial  expression, 
meaning  that  he  has  had  neither  thanks  nor  reward  for  trouble  taken,  work 
or  good  deed  done. 

I  have  had  my  labor  for  my  travail. 

Shakespeare  :   Troihis  and  Cressida,  Act  i.,  Sc.  i. 
They  have  nought  but   their  toyle   for  their  heate,  their  paines  for  their  sweate,  and  (to 
bring  it  to  our  English  prouerbe)  their  labour  for  their  trauaile. — Thomas  Nash  (1589)  :  To 
the  Gentlemen  Students  of  both  Universities.  (Introductory  to  Robert  Greene's  Menaphon.) 


598  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Laborare  est  orare  (L.,  "To  work  is  to  pray").  This  appears  to  have 
been  originally  "  Laborare  et  orare,"  and  as  such  may  have  been  derived  from 
Jeremiah  [Lamentations  iii.  41).  So  in  Pseudo-Bernard  there  occurs,  with 
reference  made  to  Jeremiah  for  authority,  "Qui  orat  et  laborat,  cor  levat  ad 
Deum  cum  manibus."  (S.  Bernard  :  Ope>-a,  vol.  ii.,  col.  866,  Paris,  1690.) 
The  idea  had  been  expressed  before  by  Gregory  the  Great,  with  the  substi- 
tution of  "operari"  for  "laborare,"  and  by  many  others  after  him.  Just  how 
and  when  the  alteration  of  the  "  et"  into  "  est"  in  the  proverb  was  accomplished 
may  not  with  certainty  be  told,  but  we  find  it  as  an  ancient  maxim  of  the 
Benedictine  monks.  The  sentence  reappears  in  various  modifications  of  form, 
thus,  "Scriptum  est  et  '  oratio  mea  in  sinu  meo  convertetur'  (Ps.  xxxiv.  13, 
Vulg.),  et  qui  pro  alio  orat  pro  se  ipso  laborat."  (Radulphus  Ardeus, 
Homiletica,  i.,  "■  De  Tempore"  14S5.)  This  may  perhaps  intimate  a  transition 
towards  the  use  of  the  proverb  which  is  now  most  commonly  thought  of  It 
occurs  in  verse  as  follows,  "  Tu  supplex  ora,  tu  protege,  tuque  labora,"  in  "  Car- 
minum  Proverbialium  Loci  Communes"  (p.  156,  London,  15SS),  a  common 
text-book  which  was  often  reprinted.  "  Ora  et  labora"  is  the  motto  of  the 
Earl  of  Dalhousie,  and  "  Orando  laborando"  of  Rugby  School. 

Laconic,  an  adjective  signifying  short,  brief,  terse,  and  derived  from  Lacon, 
one  of  the  names  of  Sparta,  because  the  Spartans  were  held  to  be  especially 
expert  in  condensing  their  meaning  into  the  fewest  possible  words.  Thus, 
when  Xerxes  summoned  Leonidas  to  yield  up  his  amis,  the  latter  answered, 
"Come  and  take  them."  Equal  conciseness  was  aimed  at  in  the  despatches 
from  the  seats  of  war  :  the  victory  of  Plataea  was  announced,  "  Persia  is  hum- 
bled," and  the  end  of  the  Peloponnesian  war,  "Athens  is  taken." 

It  was  an  Athenian,  however,  who,  after  one  of  his  countrymen  had  made  a 
brilliant  and  showy  speech,  full  of  rhetorical  promises,  rose  and  said,  "  Men 
of  Athens,  all  that  he  has  said,  I  will  do.''' 

Philostratus  tells  us  how  Atticus,  in  digging  under  a  house,  found  a  large 
treasure  of  money.  Being  in  fear  of  informers,  he  deemed  it  best  to  notify  the 
fact  to  Nerva,  the  reigning  emperor,  who  wrote  him  the  laconic  reply,  "  Use 
it."  His  heart  still  failing  him,  he  wrote  again,  saying  it  was  too  large  to  use. 
"  Then  abuse  it"  came  the  answer. 

When  Menecrates,  a  physician  who  from  his  wonderful  cures  was  styled 
Jupiter,  addressed  Agesilaus  a  letter, — 

M.  Jupiter  to  King  Agesilaus.     Health, — 
Agesilaus  answered, — 

King  Agesilaus  to  Menecrates.     His  senses. 

But  the  most  famous  laconicism  in  ancient,  indeed,  in  all,  history  is  Caesar's 
announcement  to  his  friend  Amintius  of  his  victory  over  Pharnaces,  at  Zela, 
in  Asia  Minor,  B.C.  47,  "  Veni,  vidi,  vici,"  which  it  were  a  work  of  supereroga- 
tion to  translate  into  "  I  came,  I  saw,  I  conquered."  John  Sobieski,  when  he 
sent  the  Pope  the  Mussulman  standards  captured  before  Vienna,  attempted 
to  improve  upon  Caesar  with  this  affected  bit  of  humility:  "I  came,  I  saw, 
God  conquered."  Turenne's  paraphrase  was  much  better,  because  there  was 
no  mock-modesty  about  it.  After  the  battle  of  Diinen,  which  resulted  in  the 
recovery  of  Dunkirk  from  the  Spaniards  (June  14,  165S),  he  announced  the 
victory  as  follows  :  "The  enemy  came,  was  beaten,  I  am  tired,  good-night !" 

Suwarow's  concise  announcement  of  the  capture  of  Prague,  in  1794, 
"  Hurrah  !  Prague  !  Suwarow,"  was  answered  quite  as  concisely  by  Cath- 
erine II.:  "Bravo!  Field-Marshal!  Catherine." 

When  he  took  Tutukay,  Suwarow  wrote, — 

Slava  bogu,  slava  vam  ! 
Tutukai  vsiata  I  ya  tam. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  599 

which  can  only  be  lamely  translated, — 

Glory  to  God,  glory  to  you  ! 
Tutukai  is  taken,  and  I  am  there. 

Blake's  despatch  announcing  a  victory  over  the   French  has  a  magnificent 
truculence  : 

Please  your  honor  and  glory,  met  with  the  French  fleet,  beat,  killed,  took,  sunk,  and  burned 


as  per  margm. 


Yours,  etc. 


During  the  Spanish  war  of  independence,  in  l8o8,  Saragossa  was  summoned 
by  the  French  to  surrender  in  these  terms  :  "  Head-quarters — Santa  Engracia 
Capitulation."  The  reply  was  equally  succinct :  "  Head-quarters — Sara- 
gossa— War  to  the  knife."  At  the  end  of  sixty  days  the  French  were  forced 
to  retire. 

Perry's  despatch  to  General  Harrison  after  the  battle  of  Lake  Erie  is  a 
classic  :  "  We  have  met  the  enemy,  and  they  are  ours." 

Three  famous  laconicisms  of  modern  history  take  the  reprehensible  form  of 
a  pun.  When  the  ships  of  the  Invincible  Armada  turned  their  sails,  Drake 
is  said  to  have  sent  to  Elizabeth  the  single  word  Cantharides  ("  the  Spanish 
fly").  General  de  Bourmont's  message  to  the  French  war  minister  in  1830 
when  his  prisoner,  the  Dey  of  Algiers,  escaped,  is  reported  to  have  been 
Perdidi  diem-  which  translated  into  English  means,  "  I  have  lost  a  dey." 
But  how  should  the  French  war  minister  be  expected  to  translate  the  message 
into  English,  or  understand  it  when  translated  ?  Both  the  above,  indeed,  are 
obviously  apocryphal,  and  may  have  been  invented  long  after  the  event,  as 
companions  to  General  Napier's  famous  despatch  from  India,  Peccavi  ("  I 
have  Scinde"),  which  is  often  given  as  authentic,  but  was  really  a  typical 
joke  o(  Punch. 

Few  military  men  were  more  direct,  concise,  and  terse  than  General  Grant. 
A  masterpiece  is  the  letter  to  General  Buckner,  dated  at  Camp  Donelson, 
February  16,  1862  : 
Gen.  S.  B.  Buckner, 

Confed.  Army.  ,  „  .    .  , 

Sir,— Yours  of  this  date  proposing  Armistice,  and  appointing  of  Commissioner  to  settle 
terms  of  Capitulation,  is  just  received.  No  terms  except  an  unconditional  and  immediate 
surrender  can  be  accepted. 

I  propose  to  move  immediately  upon  your  works. 

I  am,  sir,  very  respectfully,  yovur  obt.  servt., 

U.  S.  Grant,  Brig.-Gen. 

Wellington  sometimes  put  a  great  deal  of  meaning  into  a  few  words.  When 
asked  what  would  be  the  result  of  the  military  operations  of  De  Lacy  Evans 
in  Spain,  he  replied,  "Two  volumes  octavo."  And  to  a  cavalry  officer,  unex- 
pectedly ordered  to  the  Cape  of  Good  Hope,  who  applied  to  Wellington  for 
leave  to  return  to  England,  he  briefly  said,  "Sail  or  sell." 

The  story  about  Dr.  Abernethy  and  his  lady  patient  is  a  classic.  He  was  a 
man  of  few  words,  and  the  lady  knew  it.  Being  shown  into  his  private  office, 
she  bared  her  arm  and  said  simply,  "  Burn." 

"  A  poultice,"  said  the  doctor. 

Next  day  she  called  again,  showed  her  arm,  and  said,  "  Better." 

"Continue  the  poultice." 

Some  days  elapsed  before  Abernethy  saw  her  again.  Then  she  said,  "  Well. 
Your  fee  ?" 

"  Nothing,"  said  the  doctor,  bursting  into  unusual  loquacity.  "  You  are  the 
most  sensible  woman  I  ever  met  in  my  life  !" 

Abernethy  was  once  asked  by  a  gourmand  what  was  the  best  cure  for  the 
gout.     "  Live  upon  sixpence  a  day,  and  earn  it,"  was  the  answer. 

This  is  as  good  as  the  American  doctor's  recipe,  "  A  quart  of  sawdust,  and 
make  it  yourself." 


6oo  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Classic  also  are  Talleyrand's  two  letters  to  a  widow.  The  first,  written  on 
the  death  of  her  husband,  read  simply,  "  Helas,  madame  !"  and  the  second, 
written  some  months  afterwards,  on  receiving  news  of  her  engagement,  "  Ho  ! 
ho  !  madame." 

But  Talleyrand  may  have  had  in  mind  Boileau's  criticisms  on  the  elder 
Corneille.     On  the  "  Agesilaus"  he  wrote, — 
J'ai  vu  I'Ag^silas, 
Helas! 
A  couplet  short  and  salt,  but  he  improved  it  after  the  dramatist's  next  play : 
Aprfes  I'Agesilas, 

Helas  ! 

Mais  apres  I'Attila, 

Hola! 

That  was  a  terse  and  terrible  reply  of  Frederick  the  Great  to  the  Jew 
banker,  who,  dreading  subsidies  and  loans,  prayed  the  king  to  allow  him  to 
travel  for  the  benefit  of  his  health  : 

Dear  Ephraim,  nothing  but  death  shall  part  us. 
Voltaire  and  Piron  had  challenged  each  other  to  see  which  could  produce 
the  shortest  letter.     Shortly  after  Voltaire  left  for  the  country,  having  pre- 
viously despatched  the  following  letter, — 

Eo  rus, — 
which  means,  "  I  am  going  into  the  country."     That  will  certainly  do  the  trick, 
he  thought.     An  answer  came  back  by  return, — 

1,— 
which  is  excellent  Latin  for  "  Go." 

But  the  shortest  correspondence  ever  known  took  place  between  Victor 
Hugo  and  his  publisher,  just  after  the  publication  of  "  Les  Miserables."  The 
poet,  impatient  to  learn  of  the  success  of  the  book,  sent  off  a  letter  which 
contained  only  the  following  : 

? 
and  he  received  the  following  entirely  satisfactory  answer  : 

Everyone  remembers  the  famous  advice  which  Piaich  gave  "  To  those  about 
to  marry.     Don't." 

The  shortest  letter  that  ever  appeared  in  the  London  Times  is  said  to  have 
been  the  following,  under  the  heading  "  How  to  Make  Burial  Harmless," 
December  27,  1889 : 

Sir, — Put  in  the  coiBn  quicklime. 

J.  Hoskyns-Abrahall. 
CoOMBB,  OxoN.,  December  21. 

Lord  Aberdeen,  the  Premier  of  the  coalition  ministry,  was  remarkable  for 
his  taciturnity.  When,  by  way  of  reconciling  him  to  accompanying  her  on  a 
sea-trip,  the  queen  smilingly  inquired,  "1  believe,  my  lord,  you  are  not  often 
sea-sick?"  he  replied  significantly,  "  Always,  madam."  "But  not  z/^ry  sea- 
sick ?"     "  Very,  madam,"  said  the  uncompromising  minister. 

There  was  succinct  energy  in  the  Jacobite  curse  which  was  written  on 
folded  slips  of  paper  and  handed  to  likely  persons  in  the  streets  of  Edinburgh 
during  the  time  of  the  last  Pretender.  It  ran  simply,  "  May  God  damn 
Hanover  !     Vivat  Jacobus  !  " 

"  Have  you  read  my  last  speech  ?"  asked  a  prosy  parliamentarian  of  Cur- 
ran.  The  answer  was  brief:  "I  hope  I  have."  A  poet  who  asked,  "Have 
you  seen  my  '  Descent  into  Hell'  ?"  fared  equally  badly.  "  No,  but  I  should 
like  to,"  was  Curran's  rejoinder. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  6oI 

Epitaphs  are  sometimes  admirably  laconic,  as  a  sort  of  revolt  by  the  uncon- 
ventional few  against  the  prolixity  that  is  the  fashion  among  the  many. 

"  Effen  nyt"  ("  Exactly  nothing")  is  the  single  phrase  carved  on  an  ancient 
monument  of  white  marble  in  the  graveyard  of  the  new  church  of  Amsterdam, 
on  which  there  is  also  sculptured  a  pair  of  slippers.  And  thereby  hangs  a 
tale.  The  decedent,  it  is  said,  had  conceived  the  idea  that  he  would  live  a 
certain  number  of  years.  Desirous  to  make  the  best  of  them  and  leave  none 
of  his  means  unenjoyed,  he  made  a  nice  calculation,  and  so  apportioned  his 
wealth  that  it  would  last  just  his  expected  lifetime.  Fortune  befriended  him  ; 
he  died  at  the  moment  he  had  reckoned  upon,  and  had  then  so  far  exhausted 
his  estate  that,  after  paying  his  debts,  there  was  nothing  left  but  a  pair  of 
slippers.     His  relatives  put  up  the  tombstone  and  the  legend. 

Charles  Lamb  said,  "  A  speaker  should  not  attempt  too  much,  but  should 
leave  something  to  the  imagination  of  his  audience  ;"  and  he  tells  how,  on 
bejng  called  on  to  return  thanks  for  a  toast  to  his  health,  he  rose,  bowed  to 
his  audience,  and  said,  "  Gentlemen,"  and  then  sat  down,  leaving  it  to  their 
imagination  to  supply  the  rest. 

J.  K.  Paulding,  when  Secretary  of  the  Navy,  wanting  some  information  as 
to  the  source  of  a  river,  sent  the  following  note  to  a  village  postmaster : 

Sir, — This  Department  desires  to  know  how  far  the  Tombigbee  River  runs  up. 

Respectfully  yours,  etc. 

By  return  mail  came, — 

Sir, — The  Tombigbee  does  not  run  up  at  all :  it  runs  down. 

Very  respectfully  yours,  etc. 

The  letter  was  referred  to  Kendall,  the  Postmaster-General.  Not  appre- 
ciating his  subordinate's  humor,  he  wrote, — 

Sir, — Your  appointment  as  postmaster  is  revoked  :  you  will  turn  over  the  funds,  etc.,  per- 
taining to  your  office  to  your  successor. 

Not  at  all  disturbed  by  his  summary  dismissal,  the  postmaster  replied, — 

Sir, — The  revenues  of  this  office  for  the  quarter  ending  September  30  have  been  ninety- 
five  cents;  its  expenditures,  same  period,  for  tailoiv  candles  and  twine,  one  dollar  and  five 
cents.     I  trust  my  successor  is  instructed  to  adjust  the  balance. 

His  superior  officer  was  probably  as  much  disgusted  with  his  precise  cor- 
respondent as  the  American  editor  who,  writing  to  a  Connecticut  brother, 
"Send  full  particulars  of  the  flood"  (meaning  an  inundation  in  that  State), 
received  for  reply,  "  Vou  will  find  them  in  Genesis." 

A  famous  and  witty  Englishman  is  said  to  have  been  asked,  during  his 
American  travels,  to  make  an  after-dinner  speech  at  the  "  ladies'  night"  of  a 
Boston  club.  It  was  a  literary  club,  he  was  a  literary  man.  It  was  naturally 
expected  that  he  would  glorify  his  profession  and  that  of  his  hearers. 

He  rose,  however,  and  said,  "  Ladies  and  gentlemen,  I  come  not  here  to 
talk." 

All  eyes  were  turned  upon  him. 

"  Ladies  and  gentlemen,"  he  repeated,  "  I  come  here  not  to  talk." 
People  began  to  laugh,  seeing  that  brevity  was  really  the  soul  of  his  wit. 
"  I  come  not  here  to  talk,"  said  he.     "  I  come  not  here  to  talk."     Then, 
with  another  glance  at  the  fruit,  and  a  modest  gesture  of  deprecation,  "I 
come  not  here  to  talk." 

And  he  sat  down,  while  every  one  laughed  and  applauded. 
Emile   Angler's  letter  of  regret  in  answer  to  an  invitation  to  dinner  was 
short  and  pithy  : 

1000  remerciments, 

looo  regrets, 
1000  compliments, 
Et  1000  [Emile]  Augier. 
2A  51 


6o2  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

In  LanAshire  the  word  nowt,  "  nothing,"  and  its  companion  crwt,  "  anything," 
have  been  known  to  form  a  complete  conversation  between  two  business-men, 
one  being  a  seller  and  the  other  a  buyer.  As  they  met  on  'Change  the  former 
said,  '•  Owt  ?"  the  latter  replied,  "  Nowt,"  and  in  this  laconic  fashion  what 
would  have  taken  some  men  five  minutes'  conversation  to  determine  was  done 
in  two  words. 

Lawyers  are  not  noted  for  brevity  of  speech,  yet  an  eminent  English  jurist, 
probably  on  the  theory  that  opposites  are  apposites,  is  said  to  have  been  won 
by  a  laconic  damsel  while  on  his  way  to  hold  court  in  a  country  town.  The 
girl  was  returning  from  market  when  the  judge  met  her. 

"  How  deep  is  the  creek,  and  what  did  you  get  for  your  butter  ?"  he  asked. 

"Up  to  the  knee  ;  ninepence,"  was  the  answer,  as  the  girl  walked  on. 

The  judge  turned  his  horse,  rode  back,  and  soon  overtook  her. 

"  I  liked  your  answer  just  now,"  he  said,  "  and  I  like  you.  I  think  you 
would  make  a  good  wife.     Will  you  marry  me  ?"  ^ 

She  looked  him  over  and  said,  "  Yes." 

"  Then  get  up  behind  me,  and  we  will  ride  to  town  and  be  married."  Which 
was  accordingly  done. 

The  shortest  marriage  service  in  the  world  is  that  daily  performed  in  the 
office  of  the  Milwaukee  justices:  "Have  him?"  "Yes."  "Have  her?" 
"Yes."     "Married.     Two  dollars." 

The  shortest  charge  known  to  English  jurisprudence  was  given  by  a  judge 
in  a  breach  of  promise  case.  After  the  lawyers  had  talked  for  several  hours, 
his  lordship  said  to  the  jury,  "  How  much  ?" 

A  practical  laconicism  is  reported  of  the  first  President  Harrison  during 
the  campaign  which  made  him  President.  At  a  mass-meeting  at  Ripley,  Ohio, 
he  was  expected  to  speak  ;  but  he  arrived  much  fatigued,  and,  after  thanking 
the  audience  for  their  interest  in  his  success,  he  begged  to  be  excused  from 
making  a  speech,  as  he  did  not  feel  able  to  undergo  the  exertion.  "  I  cannot 
make  a  speech,"  he  said,  "  but  I  can  do  something  else  :  I  can  kiss  all  these 
young  ladies  ;  and  I  am  going  to  do  it."  With  that  he  turned  to  a  lot  of  pretty 
girls  who  were  ranged  around  the  stage,  and  kissed  every  one  in  succession 
before  the  whole  crowd,  each  smack  being  received  with  shouts  of  delight 
that  shook  the  building. 

Another  famous  American  was  less  gallant.  Blackwood's  Magazine  tells  the 
story  of  how  a  lady,  having  obtained  the  privilege  of  an  introduction  to  the 
renowned  Brigham  Young,  said,  "  I  was  always  very  desirous  to  see  you. 
Governor  Young,  and  to  make  the  personal  acquaintance  of  one  who  has  had 
such  extraordinary  influence  over  my  own  sex."  Whereto  the  Governor 
curtly  replied,  "You  was,  was  you  ?" 

Lady  Blessington  condensed  an  infinite  amount  of  sarcasm  into  two  words. 
Meeting  Napoleon  HI.  in  the  Champs-Elysees,  he  asked  her,  "  Do  you  expect 
to  remain  long  in  Paris?"  "And  you  ?"  replied  the  lady,  who  took  this 
neat  revenge  for  having  been  snubbed  by  her  quondam  friend  and  visitor. 

An  inquisitive  French  bishop  once  caught  a  Tartar  in  the  Duke  de  Roque- 
laure.  The  latter,  passing  in  haste  through  Lyons,  was  hailed  by  the 
bishop  with  "  Hi  !  hi !"     The  duke  stopped. 

"  Where  have  you  come  from  ?"'  asked  the  prelate. 

"  Paris." 

"  What  is  there  fresh  in  Paris  ?" 

"  Green  peas." 

"  But  what  were  the  people  saying  when  you  left  ?" 

"  Vespers." 

"  Goodness,  man  !"  broke  out  the  angry  questioner,  "  who  are  you  ?  What 
are  you  called  ?" 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  603 

"  Ignorant  people  call  me  '  Hi !  hi !'  Gentlemen  call  me  the  Duke  de  Roque- 
laure. — Drive  on,  postilion  !" 

That  is  how  the  story  appears  in  French.  Horace  Smith,  in  his  "Tin 
Trumpet,"  gives  an  English  version.  The  hero  this  time  is  "  a  well-known 
civic  wag."  In  travelling  post,  he  was  obliged  to  stop  at  a  village  to  replace 
a  horse's  shoe,  when  the  Paul  Pry  of  the  place  bustled  up  to  the  carriage 
window,  and,  without  waiting  for  the  ceremony  of  introduction,  exclaimed, — 

"Good-morning,  sir! — horse  cast  a  shoe,  I  see.  I  suppose,  sir,  you  be 
going  to " 

Here  he  paused,  expecting  the  name  of  the  place  to  be  supplied  ;  but  the 
citizen  answered,  "  You  are  quite  right,  sir ;  I  generally  go  there  at  this 
season." 

"  Ay — hum — do  ye  ? — and  no  doubt  you  be  come  now  from " 

"  Right  again,  sir ;  I  live  there." 

"  Oh,  ah,  do  ye .'  But  I  see  it  be  a  London  shay ;  pray,  sir,  is  there  any- 
thing stirring  in  London  ?" 

"  Yes  ;  plenty  of  other  chaises,  and  carriages  of  all  sorts." 

"  Ay,  ay,  of  course  ;   but  what  do  you  folks  say  ?" 

"Their  prayers  every  Sunday." 

"That  is  not  what  I  mean.  I  wish  to  know  whether  there  is  anything  new 
and  fresh." 

"  Yes  ;  bread  and  herrings." 

"  Anan  !  you  be  a  queer  chap.     Pray,  muster,  may  I  ask  your  name .?" 

"  Fools  and  clowns  call  me  '  Muster,'  but  I  am,  in  reality,  one  of  the  frogs 
of  Aristophanes,  and  my  genuine  name  is  Brekekekex  Koax. — Drive  on, 
postilion." 

An  American  judge  is  said  to  have  intervened  in  an  odd  way  to  prevent  a 
waste  of  words.  Sitting  in  court,  he  saw  from  the  piles  of  papers  in  the 
lawyers'  hands  that  the  first  case  was  going  to  be  a  long  one,  and  asked, 
"  What  is  the  amount  in  question  V 

"Two  dollars,"  said  the  plaintiff. 

"  I'll  pay  it.     Call  the  next  case." 

He  had  not  the  patience  of  taciturn  Sir  William  Grant,  who  sat  for  two  days 
listening  to  the  arguments  of  counsel  as  to  the  construction  of  a  certain  act, 
and  when  they  were  through  quietly  remarked,  "  The  act  is  repealed." 

There  was  once  a  form  of  laconicism  which  was  very  popular  among  Amer- 
ican humorists,  and  which  consisted  in  stating  cause  and  ultimate  effect  of 
some  disaster  without  any  intermediary  explanation,  as  : 

An  Indiana  man  bet  ten  dollars  that  he  could  ride  the  fly-wheel  in  a  saw-mill,  and  as  his 
widow  paid  the  bet  she  remarked,  "  William  was  a  kind  husband,  but  he  didn't  know  much 
about  fly-wheels." 

An  Iowa  woman  gave  her  husband  morphine  to  cure  him  of  chewing  tobacco.  It  cured 
him,  but  she  is  doing  her  own  spring  ploughing. 

A  Lockport,  New  York,  lad  made  a  wager  of  two  dollars  that  he  could  eat  twenty-four 
raw  eggs  within  fifteen  minutes  and  drink  twenty  glasses  of  beer.  He  won  the  two  dollars, 
leaving  a  net  loss  of  thirty-eight  dollars  on  his  coffin. 

A  young  man  in  Louisville  examined  a  keg  of  damp  gunpowder  with  a  red-hot  poker  to 
see  if  it  was  good.  It  is  believed  by  his  friends  that  he  has  gone  to  Europe,  although  a  man 
has  found  some  human  bones  and  a  piece  of  shirt-tail  about  twenty  miles  from  Louisville. 

John  Smith,  in  Nebraska,  said  he  could  handle  a  rattlesnake  the  same  as  a  snake-charmer. 
The  churlishness  of  the  undertaker  in  demanding  pay  in  advance  delayed  the  funeral  four 
days. 

A  man  warned  his  wife  in  New  Orleans  not  to  light  the  fire  with  kerosene.  She  didn't 
heed  the  warning.     Her  clothes  fitted  his  second  wife  remarkably  well. 

Yet  this  style  of  humor,  distinctively  American  as  it  seems,  finds  a  parallel 
nearly  three  thousand  years  old,  in  IL  Chronicles  xvi.  12,  13  :  '•  And  Asa  in 


6o4  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

the  thirty  and  ninth  year  of  his  reign  was  diseased  in  his  feet,  until  his  disease 
was  exceeding  great :  yet  in  his  disease  he  sought  not  to  the  Lord,  but  to  the 
physicians.  And  Asa  slept  with  his  fathers,  and  died  in  the  one  and  fortieth 
year  of  his  reign."  • 

John  Edwin,  a  once  popular  English  actor  of  the  last  century,  is  credited 
with  the  authorship  of  one  of  the  briefest  and  most  effective  sermons  ever 
delivered.  His  text  was,  "  Man  is  born  to  trouble,  as  the  sparks  fly  upwards," 
and  this  was  the  sermon  :  "  I  shall  consider  this  discourse  under  three  heads  : 
first,  man's  ingress  into  the  world  ;  secondly,  man's  progress  through  the 
world  ;  thirdly,  man's  egress  out  of  the  world.     And — 

A  man's  ingress  into  the  world  is  naked  and  bare, 

His  progress  through  the  world  is  trouble  and  care  ; 

And  lastly,  his  egress  out  of  the  world  is  nobody  knows  where. 

If  we  do  well  here,  we  shall  do  well  there  : 

1  can  tell  you  no  more  if  I  preach  a  whole  year." 

The  Eccentricities  of  John  Edwin  (2d  ed.),  i.  74,  Lon.,  1791. 

John  Cunningham,  a  contemporary  humorist,  was  equally  laconic  In  his 
lines  on  an  alderman  : 

That  he  was  born  it  cannot  be  denied  : 

He  ate,  drank,  slept,  ulk'd  politics,  and  died. 

Several  epitaphs  of  this  kind  will  be  found  grouped  under  the  head  of 
Epitaphs. 

Of  all  modern  nationalities  the  French  are  the  masters  of  that  brevity 
which  is  the  soul  of  wit.  Their  passion  for  mots,  for  short,  pithy,  sententious 
sayings,  is  at  once  cause  and  effect  of  their  success  in  this  line.  It  was  a 
Frenchman  (Joubert)  who  described  himself  as  having  "  the  cursed  ambition 
to  put  a  whole  book  into  a  page,  that  page  into  a  phrase,  and  that  phrase 
into  a  word."  And  it  was  another  Frenchman,  Pascal,  who  apologized  for 
writing  a  long  letter  on  the  ground  that  he  had  not  had  time  to  write  a  short 
one.  But  Pliny  had  said  the  same  thing  before  him  in  his  "  Letters"  {Book 
i.,  Epistle  20)  : 

Ex  his  apparet  ilium  permulta  dixisse ;  quum  ederet,  omisisse  ;  .  .  .  ne  dubitare  possi- 
mus,  quae  per  plures  dies,  ut  necesse  erat,  latius  dixerit,  postea  recisa  ac  purgata  in  unum 
librum,  grandem  quidem,  unura  tamen,  coarctasse. 

("  From  this  it  is  evident  that  he  said  very  much  ;  but,  when  he  was  publishing,  he  omitted 
much;  ...  so  that  we  may  not  doubt  that  what  he  said  more  diffusely,  as  he  was  at  the 
time  forced  to  do,  having  afterwards  retrenched  and  corrected,  he  condensed  into  one  single 
book.") 

Ladder,  "Walking  under  a.  A  widely-spread  superstition  in  England 
forbids  a  man  to  walk  under  a  ladder.  Some  people  fancy  that  this  origi- 
nated from  a  cautious  dread  of  what  a  workman  upon  the  ladder  might  drop 
upon  them.  Yet  the  same  people  will  cirefully  avoid  passing  under  a  ladder 
which  is  quite  untenanted,  and  know  well  that  they  do  so  not  to  avoid  the 
fall  of  a  tile  or  a  paint-pot,  but  to  avoid  the  fall  of  ill  luck  upon  their  heads. 
In  former  days,  when  hanging  was  done  after  a  more  primitive  and  simple 
fashion  than  it  is  to-day,  the  victim  at  Tyburn  or  elsewhere  had  generally  to 
pass  under  the  ladder  which  stood  against  the  gallows  for  the  convenience  of 
the  executioner.  And  he  passed  under  that  ladder  with  the  fair  certainty 
of  being  immediately  hanged.  What  the  unhappy  criminal  at  Tyburn  could 
not  avoid  the  exquisite  in  Piccadilly  avoids  to-day,  even  at  the  expense  of 
his  polished  boots,  by  turning  into  the  road-way.  There  is  a  touching  hu- 
mility in  the  practice.  Which  of  us  knows  his  fate  ?  Though  all  the  world 
may  assure  that  young  man  that  he  was  not  born  to  be  hanged,  he  is  yet  not 
so  certain  of  himself  that  he  can  afford  to  imitate  the  criminal  even  in  that 
single  and  harmless  particular. 


I 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  605 

Ladies  of  Llangollen.  These  ladies, — whose  full  names  and  titles  were 
the  Hon.  Caroline  Ponsonby  and  Lady  Eleanor  Butler, — weary  of  society 
(some  say  disappointed  in  love),  withdrew  to  a  property  which  they  bought 
near  Llangollen  and  passed  their  time  amid  the  simple  pleasures  of  country 
life  and  in  the  exercise  of  works  of  charity  and  a  generous  hospitality.  Re- 
fusing all  offers  of  marriage,  they  remained  constant  to  each  other  till  divided 
by  death.  Lady  Butler  died  in  1829,  at  the  ripe  age  of  ninety,  and  Miss  Pon- 
sonby followed  in  1831,  aged  seventy-six.  A  monument  in  Llangollen  church- 
yard commemorates  their  virtues. 

It  is  to  them  Wordsworth  addresses  his  sonnet  composed  in  the  grounds 
of  Plass  Newidd,  near  Llangollen,  1824.     We  quote  the  concluding  portion  : 

Glyn  Cafaillgarcch,  in  the  Cambrian  tongue. 
In  ours,  the  Vale  of  Friendship,  let  this  spot 
Be  named ;  where,  faithful  to  a  low-roofed  cot. 
On  Deva's  banks,  ye  have  abode  so  long ; 
Sisters  in  love, — a  love  allowed  to  climb. 
Even  on  this  earth,  above  the  reach  of  Time. 

De  Quincey  also  refers  to  them  in  "Confessions  of  an  English  Opium- 
Eater :" 

Just  two-and-twenty  miles  from  Chester  lay  a  far  grander  scene,  the  fine  vale  of  Llan- 
gollen in  the  centre  of  Denbighshire.  Here,  also,  the  presiding  residents  were  two  ladies, 
whose  romantic  retirement  from  the  world  at  an  early  age  had  attracted  for  many  years  a 
general  interest  to  their  persons,  habits,  and  opinions.  These  ladies  were  Irish, — Miss  Pon- 
sonby and  Lady  Eleanor  Butler,  a  sister  of  Lord  Ormond. 

Lady  —  Woman.  Much  may  dwell  in  a  word.  The  use  or  misuse  of 
the  two  terms  which  head  this  article  will  reveal  a  man's  true  self,  his  social 
surroundings,  his  antecedents,  his  personal  refinement,  breeding,  sense,  taste, 
more  definitely  and  unmistakably  than  any  other  shibboleth  that  can  be  pro- 
posed. Each  word  is  unobjectionable  in  itself.  Each  has  its  limitations. 
These  limitations  sometimes  intersect  each  other,  so  that  the  terms  may  at 
times  be  interchangeable.  But  each  may  be  employed  in  such  a  manner  as 
to  prove  that  the  speaker  is  not  a  gentleman,  but  a  gent.  Or  even  if  he  be 
not  altogether  and  on  all  occasions  a  gent,  he  has  at  least  so  much  of  the 
gentish  element  as  will  be  certain  to  break  out  now  and  then  in  its  unmistak- 
able ugliness.  John  Smith,  who  calls  his  wife  his  good  lady,  who  registers  at 
a  hotel  as  "John  Smith  and  lady,"  may  be  a  good  fellow,  a  pleasant  com- 
panion— at  your  club.  But,  dear  Mr.  Jones,  don't  invite  him  home  to  dinner 
with  Mrs.  Jones, — with  your  wife.  He  may  appear  at  the  table  in  his  shirt- 
sleeves. On  the  other  hand,  the  man  who  talks  of  his  women-folks,  save  in 
unmistakable  jest,  is  to  be  treated  in  just  as  gingerly  a  fashion.  "  Lady"  is 
the  delight  of  that  peculiarly  odious  sort  of  men  who  look  down  upon  women 
as  a  kind  of  inferior  animal,  to  be  flattered  to  their  faces  as  simpletons  unable 
to  enter  into  rational  conversation,  and  to  be  classed  together  in  an  indiscrimi- 
nate lump  as  "the  sex,"  or  the  "female  sex,"  born  to  play  a  part  antagonistic 
to  that  of  the  worthier  race,  who  are  detestably  described  as  their  "lords." 
It  is  the  delight,  also,  of  the  sort  of  women,  equally  odious,  who  are  unpleas- 
antly and  arrogantly  conscious  of  some  defect  of  breeding.  When  a  woman 
says,  "  I  want  you  to  understand  that  I  am  a  lady,"  she  publishes  the  fact  that 
she  is  not  and  cannot  be  a  lady.  Good-breeding,  refinement,  lady-hood,  if 
you  ])lease,  is  tacitly  c()nceded  or  it  does  not  exist.  It  appeals  to  something 
deeper  than  words.  Words  can  neither  make  nor  unmake.  To  put  your 
trust  in  a  word  is  to  lose  the  thing  it  represents.  Even  if  you  achieve  the 
word,  it  is  tarnished  and  vulgarized  when  you  grasp  it.  It  is  the  opposite 
of  its  original  meaning.  It  is  Incus  because  it  does  not  shine.  Thus  it  hap- 
pens that  in  this  country  the  term  lady  is  rapidly  being  abandoned  to  the  class 
who  are  not  ladies  at  all.  When  you  have  come  to  sales-ladies  or  washer- 
s'* 


6o6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

ladies  you  have  reached  a  hopeless  deep.  A  sales-woman  may  be  a  lady,  a 
sales-lady  never.  "Sales-lady"  indicates  a  lack  of  humor,  of  self-respect,  a 
barbarous  willingness  to  outrage  the  English  language.  It  is  vandalism,  pure 
and  sim])le.  Now,  the  Vandals  were  a  splendid  race,  who  had  an  important 
mission  to  perform  ;  but  they  were  not  gentlemen,  they  were  not  ladies. 

Statisticians  have  decided  that  there  are  more  "  ladies"  among  colored  than 
among  white  people.  Indeed,  the  very  word  colored  is  a  "lady"-like  eu- 
phemism. General  Sherman's  story  of  the  colored  gentleman  who  rang  at 
his  door-bell  and  asked,  "  Does  a  woman  named  Sherman  live  here .''  I  want 
to  see  the  lady  who  cooks  for  her,"  is  one  of  a  thousand  which  doubtless  have 
been  utilized  by  these  statisticians. 

"  Ah,  Mrs.  Genteel,  how  do  you  do  to-day?  It  is  an  age  since  I  have  seen  you.  How  is 
your  daughter  Katie?     I  haven't  seen  her  for  a  long  time." 

"  She's  quite  well,  thank  you  ;  she's  sales-lady  now  at  Plush  &  Silk's  stores." 

"  Indeed  !     And  your  daughter  Mamie  ?" 

"  Oh,  Mamie  is  fore-lady  in  the  new  tomato-canning  establishment." 

"  I  hadn't  heard  that.     Is  Lula  at  home  now?" 

"  No  ;  she  has  gone  to  Hartford  as  waiting-lady  to  a  very  wealthy  and  aristocratic  woman 
living  there." 

"  Oh,  has  she?     Then  you  have  only  Lena  at  home,  I  presume?" 

"  Oh,  no  !  Lena  has  just  accepted  a  situation  as  a  nurse-lady  in  the  family  of  Judge  K. 
She  has  an  elegant  place." 

"  So  you  are  living  alone?" 

"  No  ;  we  have  given  up  our  house  for  the  winter,  and  I  am  now  cook -lady  at  Mrs.  Blank's 
boarding-house."— A>w  Y'ork  Tid-BHs  (1885). 

Lady-bird,  or  Lady-bug,  a  variety  of  beetle,  known  also  locally  in  Eng- 
land as  the  fly-golding,  Bishop  Barnaby  or  Barnabee,  and  God  Almighty's 
cow.  A  curious  thing  in  relation  to  the  latter  name  is  that  it  exists  in 
Spanish  also  as  vaquillo  de  Dios.  Children  in  England  and  in  America  set  the 
insect  on  their  finger  and  sing, — 

Lady-bird,  lady-bird,  fly  away  home  ; 

Your  house  is  on  fire,  your  children  all  gone. 

In  Suflfolk  and  Norfolk  the  rhymes  are  changed,  in  the  former  running, — 

Bishop,  Bishop  Barnabee, 

Tell  me  when  your  wedding  be; 

If  it  be  to-morrow  day. 

Take  your  wings  and  fly  away, 

and  in  the  latter, — 

Bishop,  Bishop  Barnabee, 
Tell  me  when  my  wedding  be  ; 
If  it  be  to-morrow  day. 
Take  your  wings  and  fly  away. 
Fly  to  the  east,  fly  to  the  west. 
Fly  to  them  that  1  love  best. 

Some  obscurity  hangs  over  this  popular  name,  which  has  certainly  no  more 
relation  to  the  companion  of  Saint  Paul  than  to  drunken  Barnaby.  It  is 
sometimes  called  Benebee, — which  may  possibly  have  been  intended  to  mean 
the  blessed  bee  ;  sometimes  Bishop  Benetree, — of  which  it  is  impossible  to 
make  anything.  The  name  may  be  a  corruption  of  Barn  Bishop, — whether 
in  scorn  of  that  silly  and  profane  mockery,  or  in  pious  commemoration  of  it, 
must  depend  upon  whether  it  was  adopted  before  or  since  the  Reformation. 
The  bishops  of  old  wore  scarlet  and  black  in  their  robes,  which  may  account 
for  the  episcopal  dignity  conferred  on  the  scarlet  and  black  beetle  ;  while  it 
may  perhaps  take  the  rest  of  its  title  from  its  appearing  in  the  month  in 
which  the  festival  of  Saint  Barnabas  occurs. 

In  Scotland  the  lady-bird  is  styled  Lady- Planners  (Notes  and  Queries,  I,  i.). 
The  subjoined  rhyme  is  peculiar  to  the  county  of  Lanark : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  607 

Lady,  Lady  Lanners, 
Lady,  Lady  Lanners, 
Take  up  your  cloak  about  your  head 
And  flee  awa*  to  Planners. 
Flee  owre  firth,  an'  flee  owre  fell, 
Hee  owre  puie,  an'  rinnan  well, 
Flee  owre  muir,  an'  flee  owre  mead, 
Flee  owre  livan,  flee  owre  dead, 
Flee  owre  corn,  an'  flee  owre  lea. 
Flee  owre  river,  flee  owre  sea. 
Flee  ye  east,  or  flee  ye  west. 
Flee  till  him  that  lo'es  me  best. 

Like  the  swallow,  martin,  redbreast,  wren,  and  cricket,  the  lady-bird  has 
the  benefit  of  a  long-standing  belief  that  any  one  wilfully  killing  it  will  infal- 
libly break  a  bone  or  meet  with  some  equally  troublesome  punishment  before 
the  year  is  out, — a  notion  probably  springing  out  of  its  being  supposed  to  be 
under  the  special  protection  of  the  Virgin  Mary. 

Lake  School,  Lake  Poets,  Lakers,  or  Lakists,  the  sobriquet  of  a 
group  of  poets,  including  Wordsworth,  Coleridge,  and  Southey,  from  their 
residence  in  or  connection  with  the  Lakes  of  Cumberland.  The  epithet  was 
first  coined  derisively  by  the  Edinburgh  Revieiv,  and  the  genesis  is  as  fol- 
lows. In  its  very  first  number  (October,  1802)  the  Review  had  an  article  on 
Southey's  "Thalaba."  It  started  out  by  classing  him  as  one  of  "a  sect  of 
poets  that  has  established  itself  in  this  country  within  these  ten  or  twelve 
years"  who  "seem  to  value  themselves  very  highly  for  having  broken  loose 
from  the  bondage  of  ancient  authority  and  reasserted  the  independence  of 
genius."  The  Rez<iew  goes  on  to  admit  that  these  poets  have  abandoned  the 
old  models,  but  fails  to  discover  that  they  have  yet  created  any  models  of 
their  own,  and  is  much  inclined  to  call  in  question  the  worthiness  of  those 
to  which  they  have  transferred  their  admiration.  For,  so  far  from  being 
original,  the  school  derived  its  inspiration  from — 

I.  The  anti-social  principles  and  distempered  sensibility  of  Rousseau,  his  discontent 
■with  the  present  constitution  of  society,  his  paradoxical  morality,  and  his  perpetual  hanker- 
ings after  some  unattainable  state  of  voluptuous  virtue  and  perfection.  2.  The  simplicity 
and  energy  (liorresco  re/erens)  of  Kotzebue  and  Schiller.  3.  The  homeliness  and  harshness 
of  some  ol  Cowper's  language  and  versification,  interchanged  occasionally  with  the  innocence 
of  Ambrose  Philips  or  the  quaintness  of  Quarles  and  Dr.  Donne.  From  the  diligent  study 
of  these  few  originals  we  have  no  doubt  that  an  entire  school  of  poetry  may  be  collected,  by 
the  assistance  of  which  the  very  gentlest  of  our  readers  may  soon  be  qualified  to  compose  a 
poem  as  correctly  versified  as  "1  halaba,"  and  to  deal  out  sentiment  and  description  with  all 
the  sweetness  of  Lambe  \sic\  and  all  the  magnificence  of  Coleridge. 

Now,  some  months  after  this  article  was  penned,  its  reputed  author,  Mr. 
Francis  Jeffrey,  in  the  course  of  a  visit  to  the  Lakes,  spent  a  day  or  two  at 
Keswick,  in  the  residence  of  Mr.  Southey.  Here,  according  to  Coleridge, 
"he  was  circumstantially  informed  by  what  series  of  accidents  it  happened 
that  Mr.  Wordsworth,  Mr.  Southey,  and  I  had  become  neighbors,  and  how 
utterly  groundless  was  the  supposition  that  we  considered  ourselves  as  be- 
longing to  any  common  school  but  that  of  good  sense,  confirmed  by  the  long- 
established  models  of  the  best  times  of  Greece,  Rome,  Italy,  and  England, 
and  still  more  groundless  the  notion  that  Mr.  Southey  (for,  as  to  myself,  I 
have  published  so  little,  and  that  little  of  so  little  importance,  as  to  make  it 
almost  ludicrous  to  mention  my  name  at  all)  could  have  been  concerned  in 
the  formation  of  a  poetic  sect  with  Mr.  Wordsworth,  when  so  many  of  his 
works  had  been  published  not  only  previous  to  any  acquaintance  between 
them,  but  before  Mr.  Wordsworth  himself  had  written  anything  but  in  a  dic- 
tion ornate  and  uniformly  sustained  ;  when,  too,  the  slightest  examination 
will  make  it  evident  that  between  those  and  the  after-writings  of  Mr.  Southey 
there  exists  no  other  difference  than  that  of  a  progressive  degree  of  excel- 


6o8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

lence, — from  progressive  development  of  power  and  progressive  facility,  from 
habit  and  increase  of  experience.  Yet  among  the  first  articles  that  this  man 
wrote  after  his  return  from  Keswick  we  were  characterized  as  'the  school  of 
whining  and  hypochondriacal  poets  that  haunt  the  Lakes.'" 

The  article  to  which  Coleridge  refers  appeared  in  October,  1807  (xi.  215). 
It  was  a  review  of  Wordsworth's  "  Po^ms,  in  Two  Volumes,"  the  author  of 
which  is  described  as  belonging  "  to  a  certain  brotherhood  of  poet.s,  who 
have  haunted  for  some  years  about  the  Lakes  of  Cumberland,"  while  the 
poems  themselves  are  denounced  for  vulgarity,  affectation,  and  silliness. 
There  was  really,  as  Coleridge  asserted,  very  small  community  of  feeling  or 
similarity  of  genius  between  the  poets  thus  arbitrarily  grouped  together. 
They  admired  each  other,  indeed,  and  they  all  sought,  in  the  words  of  Chris- 
topher North,  who,  with  De  Quincey  and  Hazlitt,  formed  the  greatest  critical 
exponents  of  the  so-called  school,  to  free  English  poetry  from  "the  sway  of 
the  old  Powers  ihat  were, — antiquated,  superannuated  Authorities.  Not, 
however,  be  it  remembered,  the  hallowed  influence  of  the  true  olden  time, — 
the  glories,  then  somewhat  obscured,  though  still  unfaded,  of  the  great  ages 
of  the  native  genius  of  England, — but  the  cold,  correct,  classical  school  that 
reigned  about  the  same  time  with  a  queen  of  the  name  of  Anne,  and  that 
either  arrogated  to  itself  with  laughable  self-sufficiency,  or  had  bestowed 
upon  it  in  melancholy  ignorance,  the  high-soundivig  title  of  the  Augustan 
Age."  The  war  against  the  Lake  School  was  waged  with  courage  and 
enthusiasm,  not  only  by  the  Edinburgh  Reviewers,  but  by  outsiders.  The 
mightiest  of  these  volunteers  was  Byron,  who  drew  his  best  inspiration  from 
"Wordsworth,  yet  always  ridiculed  him,  and  who  detested  Southey  as  a  poli- 
tician, a  man,  and  a  poet.  To  the  latter  he  inscribed  his  "  Don  Juan"  in  a 
satiric  dedication,  suppressed  in  the  early  editions,,  but  recovered  and  printed 
after  Byron's  death.     It  begins  with  a  bitter  satire  on  the  whole  school  : 

Bob  Southey  !  You're  a  poet — Poet-laureate, 
And  representative  of  all  the  race, 

Although  'tis  true  that  you're  turn'd  out  a  Tory  at 
Last, — yours  has  lately  been  a  common  case, — 

And  now,  my  Epic  Renegade  1  what  are  ye  at? 
With  all  the  Lakers,  in  and  out  of  place? 

A  nest  of  tuneful  persons,  to  my  eye 

Like  "  four-and-twenty  Blackbirds  in  a  pye; 

"  Which  pye  being  open'd,  they  began  to  sing" 

(This  old  song  and  new  simile  holds  good), 
"  A  dainty  dish  to  set  before  the  King," 

Or  Regent,  who  admires  such  kind  of  food ; 
And  Coleridge,  too,  has  lately  taken  wing. 

But  hke  a  hawk  encumber'd  with  his  hood, — 
Explaining  metaphysics  to  the  nation—  ^ 

I  wish  he  would  explain  his  Explanation. 

You,  Bob  !  are  rather  in'iolent,  you  know. 

At  being  disappointed  in  your  wish 
To  supersede  all  warblers  here  below. 

And  be  the  only  Blackbird  in  the  dish  ; 
And  then  you  overstrain  yourself,  or  so. 

And  tumble  downward  like  the  flying-fish 
Gasping  on  deck,  because  you  soar  too  high,  Bob, 
And  fall,  for  lack  of  moisture,  quite  a-dry,  Bob  1  , 

And  Wordsworth,  in  a  rather  long  "  Excursion" 

(I  think  the  quarto  holds  five  hundred  jiagcs). 
Has  given  a  sample  from  the  vasty  version 

Of  his  new  system  to  perplex  the  sages  ; 
'Tis  poetry — at  least  by  his  assertion. 

And  may  appear  so  when  the  dog-star  rages ; 
And  he  who  understands  it  would  be  able 
To  add  a  story  to  the  Tower  of  Babel. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  609 

You,  gentlemen  !  by  dint  of  long  seclusion 

From  better  company,  have  kept  your  own 
At  Keswick,  and,  through  still-continued  fusion 

Of  one  another's  minds,  at  last  have  grown 
To  deem,  as  a  most  logical  conclusion. 

That  Poesy  has  wreaths  for  you  alone  : 
There  is  a  narrowness  in  such  a  notion. 
Which  makes  me  wish  you'd  change  your  lakes  for  ocean. 

Minor  rhymesters  sought  to  assist  the  poet-peer  in  his  crusade.  A  popular 
couplet  thus  spoke  of  the  Lakers  : 

They  lived  in  the  Lakes,  an  appropriate  quarter 
For  poems  diluted  with  plenty  of  water. 

The  establishment  of  Blackwood's  Magazine,  presided  over  by  so  enthu- 
siastic a  Laker  as  John  Wilson,  contributed  to  by  a  critic  with  such  lyrical 
fervor  of  admiration  as  De  Quincey,  and  in  a  lesser  degree  the  growing  in- 
fluence of  Lamb,  Hazlitt,  Hunt,  and  other  worshippers,  proved  mighty 
weapons  of  defence  against  the  Edinburgh  and  its  allies.  Even  Jeffrey  struck 
his  flag  at  last,  gave  up  Pope  and  his  poetry,  and  confessed  that  Words- 
worth, with  all  his  heresies,  often  exhibited  far  higher  powers.  iJut  not  all 
the  original  Lakers  shared  in  this  triumph.  The  Edinburgh  Review  had 
been  inclined  to  class  in  the  school  Hazlitt,  Leigh  Hunt,  and  Lamb.  We 
have  seen,  indeed,  that  Lamb  was  mentioned  by  name.  The  others  are  in- 
ferentially  alluded  to  here  and  there.  When  Blackwood  joined  the  fray  all 
this  was  changed.  A  more  precise  method  of  differentiation  was  sought. 
Lockhart,  one  of  the  leading  spirits  of  the  magazine,  hated  the  London  ad- 
herents of  the  Lake  School  more  than  Wilson  loved  the  indigenous  Lakers. 
He  accordingly  proceeded  to  find  a  nickname  for  them.  In  the  second 
volume  of  Blackwood,  p.  38,  he  says, — 

While  the  whole  critical  world  is  occupied  with  balancing  the  merits,  whether  in  theory  or 
in  execution,  of  what  is  commonly  called  The  Lake  School,  it  is  strange  that  no  one  seems 
to  think  it  at  all  necessary  to  say  a  single  word  about  another  new  school  of  poetry  which  has 
of  late  sprung  up  among  us.  This  school  has  not,  I  believe,  as  yet  received  any  name ;  but 
if  I  may  be  permitted  to  have  the  honor  of  christening  it,  it  may  henceforth  be  referred  to  by 
the  designation  of  The  Cockney  School.  Its  chief  Doctor  and  Professor  is  Mr.  Leigh 
Hunt,  a  man  certainly  of  some  talents,  of  extravagant  pretensions  both  in  wit,  poetry,  and 
politics,  and  withal  of  exquisitely  bad  taste,  and  extremely  vulgar  modes  of  thinking,  and 
manners  in  all  respects.  .  .  .  The  extreme  moral  depravity  of  the  Cockney  School  is  another 
thing  which  is  forever  thrusting  itself  upon  the  public  attention,  and  convincing  every  man 
of  sense  who'  looks  into  their  productions  that  they  who  sport  such  sentiments  can  never 
be  great  poets.  How  could  any  man  of  high  original  genius  ever  stoop  publicly  at  the 
present  day  to  dip  his  fingers  in  the  least  of  those  glittering  and  rancid  obscenities  which 
float  on  the  surface  of  Mr.  Hunt's  "  Hippocrene"  ?  How  such  a  profligate  creature  can  pre- 
tend to  be  an  admirer  of  Mr.  Wordsworth  is  to  us  a  thing  altogether  inexplicable.  .  .  .  Mr. 
Hunt  praises  the  purity  of  Wordsworth  as  if  he  himself  were  pure,  his  dignity  as  if  he  also 
were  dignified.  He  is  always  like  the  ball  of  dung  in  the  fable,  pleasing  himself  and 
amusing  by-standers  with  his  "  nos  poma  natamus."  For  the  person  who  writes  "  Rimini" 
to  admire  the  "  Excursion"  is  just  as  impossible  as  it  would  be  for  a  Chinese  polisher  of 
cherr>--stones  or  gilder  of  teacups  to  burst  into  tears  at  the  sight  of  the  Theseus  or  the  Torso. 
The  Founder  of  the  Cockney  School  would  fain  claim  poetical  kindred  with  Lord  Byron  and 
Thomas  Moore.  Such  a  connection  would  be  as  unsuitable  for  them  as  for  William  Words- 
worth.    The  days  of  Mr.  Moore's  follies  are  long  since  over ;  and  as  he  is  a  thorough  gentle- 


man, he  must  necessarily  entertain  the  greatest  contempt  for  such  an  underbred  person  as 
Mr.  Leigh  Hunt.  But  Lord  Byron  !  How  must  the  haughty  spirit  of  Lara  and  Harold 
contemn  the  subaltern  sneaking  of  our  modern  tuft-hunter !  The  insult  which  he  oflfered  to 
Lord  Byron  in  the  dedication  of  "  Rimini" — in  which  he,  a  paltry  cockney  newspaper 
scribbler,  had  the  assurance  to  address  one  of  the  most  nobly  bom  of  English  Patricians,  and 
one  of  the  first  geniuses  whom  the  world  ever  produced,  as  "  My  dear  Byron,"  although  it 
may  be  forgotten  and  despised  by  the  illustrious  person  whom  it  most  nearly  concerned — ex- 
cited a  feeling  of  utter  loathing  and  disgust  in  the  public  mind,  which  will  always  be  remem- 
bered whenever  the  name  of  Leigh  Hunt  is  mentioned. 

These  gems  of  invective  are  extracted  from  the  first  of  a  series  of  articles 
under  the  general  heading  of  "The  Cockney  School  of  Poetry."     Succeeding 


6lo  IIANDY-BOOK  OF 

numbers  (there  are  five  in  all)  also  concern  themselves  largely  with  Leigh 
Hunt,  but  occasionally  give  a  vicious  dab  at  his  so-called  disciples.  Here  is 
an  instance  from  the  fifth  and  last.  After  explaining  that  the  egotism  of  the 
Lakists  is  pardonable  because  they  are  great  and  unappreciated  men,  the 
genial  critic  proceeds, — 

The  egotism  of  the  Cockneys  is  a  far  more  inexplicable  affair.  None  of  them  are  men  of 
genius,  none  of  them  are  men  of  solitary  meditative  habits  ; — they  are  lecturers  of  the  Surrey 
Institution,  and  editors  of  Sunday  papers,  and  so  forth.  They  have  all  abundance  of  admirers 
in  the  same  low  order  of  society  to  which  they  themselves  originally  belong,  and  to  which 
alone  they  have  all  their  lives  addressed  themselves.  Why,  then,  do  they  perpetually  chatter 
about  themselves  ?  Why  is  it  that  they  seem  to  think  the  world  has  no  right  to  hear  one  single 
word  about  any  other  person  than  Hunt  the  Cockney  Homer,  Hazlitt  the  Cockney  Aristotle, 
and  Haydon  the  Cockney  Raphael  ?  These  are  all  very  eminent  men  in  their  own  eyes,  and 
in  the  eyes  of  the  staring  and  listening  groups  whom  it  is  their  ambition  to  astonish.  Mr. 
Hazlitt  cannot  look  round  him  at  the  Surrey  without  resting  his  smart  eye  on  the  idiot  ad- 
miring grin  of  several  dozens  of  admiring  apprentices  and  critical  clerks.  Mr.  Hunt  cannot 
be  at  home  at  Hampstead  without  having  his  Johnny  Keatses  and  his  Corny  Webbs  to  cram 
sonnets  into  his  waistcoat-pockets,  and  crown  his  majestic  brows  with 

The  wreath  that  Dante  wore  !  !  ! 
Mr.  Haydon  enjoys  every  day  the  satisfaction  of  sitting  before  one  of  the  cartoons  of 
Raphael,  with  his  own  greasy  hair  combed  loosely  over  his  collar,  after  the  manner  of 
Raphael, — hatted  among  his  hatless  disciples, — a  very  god  among  the  Landseers.  What 
would  these  men  have?  Are  they  still  unsatisfied  with  flattery,  still  like  the  three  daughters 
of  the  horse-leech,  "  crying,  Give,  gi-ve,  give  !"  There  is  absolutely  no  pleasing  of  some 
people. 

Laker,  a  member  of  the  Lake  School  {supra),  and  also  an  old  cant  term 
for  an  actor.  Lake,  a  north  English  word  for  play,  comes  from  the  Danish 
lege,  to  "  play."  Hence  laker.  It  was  a  common  pleasantry  in  the  last  century, 
when  the  drum  announced  the  advent  of  a  company  of  strolling  players  into 
the  rural  districts  of  Yorkshire,  for  the  farmers'  dames  to  say,  "Get  the  shirt 
off  the  hedge,  wench,  for  there  comes  the  lakers." 

Lamourette's  kiss,  a  sudden  but  short-lived  reconciliation :  a  term 
derisively  given  to  the  reconciliation  brought  about  by  the  Abbe  Lamourette 
(whose  name,  by  the  way,  signifies  sweetheart),  on  the  7th  of  July,  1792,  be- 
tween the  factions  of  the  Legislative  Assembly.  It  is  thus  described  by  Sir 
Walter  Scott : 

The  deputies  of  every  faction,  Royalist,  Constitutionalist,  Girondist,  Jacobin,  and  Orlean- 
ist,  rushed  into  each  other's  arms,  and  mixed  tears  with  the  solemn  oaths  by  which  they 
renounced  the  innovations  supposed  to  be  imputed  to  them.  The  king  was  sent  for  to  enjoy 
this  spectacle  of  concord,  so  strangely  and  so  unexpectedly  renewed.  But  the  feeling,  though 
strong,  and,  it  might  be,  with  many  overpowering  for  the  moment,  was  but  like  oil  spilt  on 
the  raging  sea,  or  rather  like  a  shot  fired  across  the  waves  of  a  torrent,  which,  though  it  coun- 
teracts them  by  its  momentary  impulse,  cannot  for  a  second  alter  their  course.  The  factions, 
like  Le  Sage's  demons,  detested  each  other  the  more  for  having  been  compelled  to  embrace. 

The  term  is  now  generally  used  for  a  reconciliation  of  policy  without  abate- 
ment of  rancor. 

Laud  of  Cakes, — i.e.,  Scotland.  This  phrase  was  first  made  notable  by 
Burns  in  1789: 

Hear,  Land  o'  Cakes  and  brither  Scots, 
Frae  Maidenkirk  to  Johnny  Groat's. 

On  Captain  Grose's  Peregrinations  through  Scotland. 

Maidenkirk  is  an  inversion  of  the  name  Kirkmaiden,  in  Wigtownshire,  the 
most  southerly  parish  in  Scotland. 

Land    of    inverted   order,   a   popular   sobriquet  applied   to   Australia. 

Sydney  Smith  gives  this  humorous  explanation  in  his  "Essays  :" 

In  this  remote  part  of  the  earth  Nature  (having  made  horses,  oxen,  ducks,  geese,  oaks, 
elms,  and  all  regular  and  useful  productions  for  the  rest  of  the  world)  seems  determined  to 
have  a  bit  of  play,  and  to  amuse  herself  as  she  pleases.     Accordingly,  she  makes  cherries 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  6il 

with  the  stones  on  the  outside;  and  a  monstrous  animal,  as  tall  as  a  grenadier,  with  the 
head  of  a  rabbit,  a  tail  as  big  as  a  bedpost,  hopping  along  at  the  rate  of  five  hops  to  a  mile, 
■with  three  or  four  young  kangaroos  looking  out  of  its  false  uterus  to  see  what  is  passing. 
Then  comes  a  quadruped  as  big  as  a  large  cat,  with  the  eyes,  color,  and  skin  of  a  mole,  and 
the  bill  and  web-feet  of  a  duck, — puzzling  Dr.  Shaw,  and  rendering  the  latier  half  of  his  life 
miserable,  from  his  utter  inability  to  determine  whether  it  was  a  bird  or  a  beast.  Add  to  this 
a  parrot  with  the  legs  of  a  sea-gull ;  a  skate  with  the  head  of  a  shark  ;  and  a  bird  of  such 
monstrous  dimensions  that  a  side  bone  of  it  will  dine  three  real  carnivorous  Englishmen ; 
together  with  many  other  productions  that  agitate  Sir  Joseph  and  fill  him  with  mmgled 
emotions  of  distress  and  delight. 

It  would  appear,  however,  that  other  lands  might  well  be  entitled  to  the 
same  description.  Thus,  Mr.  Basil  Hall  Chamberlain,  in  a  little  volume  en- 
titled "Things  Japanese:  being  Notes  on  Various  Subjects  connected  with 
Japan,"  says  that  the  Japanese  do  many  things  in  a  way  that  runs  directly 
counter  to  European  ideas  of  what  is  natural  and  proper  ;  to  the  Japanese 
our  ways  are  equally  unaccountable.  Here  are  a  few  instances  of  this  con- 
trariety. Japanese  books  begin  at  the  end,  and  the  -wax A  finis  comes  where 
we  put  the  title-page.  The  foot-notes  are  printed  at  the  top  of  the  page,  and 
the  reader  puts  in  his  marker  at  the  bottom.  Men  make  themselves  merry 
with  wine  not  after,  but  before,  dinner,  and  sweets  come  before  the  principal 
dishes.  A  Japanese  mounts  his  horse  on  the  right  side  ;  all  parts  of  the  har- 
ness are  fastened  on  the  same  side,  the  mane  hangs  that  way,  and  when  the 
animal  is  brought  home  his  head  is  put  where  his  tail  ought  to  be,  and  he  is 
fed  from  a  tub  at  the  stable  door.  Boats  are  hauled  up  on  the  beach  stern 
first.  Japanese  do  not  say  northeast  or  southwest,  but  eastnorth  or  west- 
south.  They  carry  babies,  not  in  their  arms,  but  on  their  backs.  They  ad- 
dress a  letter  the  reverse  way  to  us,  putting  the  name  last,  the  country  and 
city  first,  going  from  the  general  to  the  particular,  and  in  place  of  writing  Mr. 
John  Smith,  they  put  Smith,  John,  Mr.  Japanese  keys  turn  in  instead  of 
out ;  Japanese  carpenters  saw  ar.d  plane  towards,  not  away  from  themselves. 
In  keeping  accounts  they  write  the  figures  first,  the  item  corresponding  to 
them  next.  Politeness  prompts  them  to  remove,  not  their  head-covering,  but 
that  of  their  feet.  The  impulse  of  Japanese  girls  is  to  sew  on  cuffs,  frills,  and 
the  like  topsy-turvy  and  wrong  side  out. 

Mrs.  Mary  Mapes  Uodge  tells  us, — 

All  things  are  reversed  in  Holland.  The  main  entrance  to  the  finest  public  building  in  the 
country,  the  Palace,  or  late  town-hall,  of  Amsterdam,  is  its  back  door.  Bashful  maidens  hire 
beaus  to  escort  them  to  the  Kermis,  or  fair,  on  festival  days.  Timid  citizens  are  scared  in 
the  dead  of  the  night  by  their  own  watchmen,  who,  at  every  quarter  of  the  hour,  make  such 
a  noise  with  their  wooden  clappers  one  would  suppose  the  town  to  be  on  fire.  You  will  sea 
sleds  used  in  summer  there.  They  go  bumping  over  the  bare  cobble-stones,  while  the  driver 
holds  a  dripping  oil-rag  in  advance  of  the  runners  to  lessen  the  friction.  You  will  see  streets 
of  water,  and  the  country  roads  paved  as  nicely  as  Broadway.  You  will  see  vessels  hitched, 
like  horses,  to  their  owners'  door-posts  ;  and  whole  rows  of  square-peaked  houses  leaning 
over  ihe  street,  as  if  they  were  getting  ready  to  tumble.  Instead  of  solemn  striking  clocks, 
you  will  hear  church  chimes  playing  snatches  of  operatic  airs  every  quarter  of  an  hour,  by 
way  of  marking  the  time.  You  will  see  looking-glasses  hanging  outside  of  the  dwellings,  and 
pincushions  displayed  on  the  street  doors.  The  first  are  called  spionnen  (or  spionnctjen), 
and  are  so  arranged  outside  of  the  windows  that  persons  sitting  inside  can,  without  being 
seen,  enjoy  a  reflection  of  all  that  is  going  on  in  the  street.  The  pincushion  means  that  a 
b.iby  has  appeared  in  the  household.  If  white  or  blue,  the  new-comer  is  a  girl;  if  red,  it  is  a 
little  Dutchman. 

Land  of  steady  habits.  Connecticut  is  thus  sometimes  humorously 
designated,  in  allusion  to  the  settled  usages  of  its  people.  The  old  Puritanical 
code,  the  "  Blue-Laws,"  remained  longer  in  operation  here  than  anywhere  else. 

Language  of  Eden.  There  is  considerable  disagreement  among  scholiasts 
and  wiseacres  on  the  question  which  was  the  primeval  language.  Celtic 
authorities  declare  it  was  Old  Irish.  The  Persians  say  that  Arabic,  Persian, 
and  Turkish  are  the  three  primitive  languages.     The  serpent  that  seduced 


6i2  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

m 

Eve  spoke  Arabic,  the  most  suasive  tongue  in  the  world,  Adam  and  Eve 
conversed  in  Persian,  the  most  poetic,  and  the  angel  Gabriel  in  driving  them 
out  of  Paradise  spoke  Turkish,  the  most  menacing  of  all  languages.  (Char- 
din.)  Herodotus  tells  us  that  Psammetichus,  King  of  Egypt,  was  the  first  to 
try  the  experiment  of  shutting  off  two  children  from  all  verbal  communication 
with  their  fellow-mortals.  When  brought  before  him,  the  first  word  uttered 
by  them  was  bekos  (which  is  Phrygian  for  "  bread"),  proving  the  Phrygian  to 
have  been  the  oldest  or  primitive  tongue.  Less  decisive,  but  more  amusing,  is 
the  result  of  a  similar  experiment  made  by  an  English  king.  According  to  a 
tradition  current  near  Manchester,  King  John  resolved  to  ascertain  the  tongue 
natural  to  man,  or,  in  other  words,  the  language  of  Paradise.  For  this  pur- 
pose he  caused  sundry  infants  to  be  immured  in  a  lonely  stronghold,  and 
attended  by  a  solitary  keeper,  who,  under  pain  of  death,  was  forbidden  to 
speak  or  make  the  slightest  attempt  at  articulation  in  their  presence.  After  a 
lapse  of  some  years,  the  king  went  to  test  the  value  of  the  experiment.  Judge 
of  his  majesty's  surprise  when,  on  approaching  the  tower  unobserved,  he 
heard  the  juveniles  busy  chanting, — 

King  John 
Has  many  a  whim  ; 

And  this  is  one. 

Languages.  Charles  V.  used  to  say  that  he  would  talk  Spanish  to  the 
gods,  Italian  to  ladies,  French  to  men,  German  to  soldiers,  English  to 
geese,  Hungarian  to  horses,  and  Bohemian  to  the  devil.  James  Howel,  in  his 
"  Instructions  for  Foreign  Travel"  (1642),  quotes  from  a  Spanish  doctor  "  who 
had  a  fancy  that  Spanish,  Italian,  and  French  were  spoken  in  Paradise,  that 
God  Almighty  commanded  in  Spanish,  the  Tempter  persuaded  in  Italian,  and 
Adam  begged  pardon  in  French."  An  eminent  philologist  of  more  modern 
times,  whose  name  is  not  given,  is  reported  to  have  said  that  if  he  wished  to 
court  his  mistress  he  would  address  her  in  French,  if  he  had  an  audience 
with  his  king  he  would  speak  to  him  in  English,  but  in  approaching  his 
God  his  language  would  be  Gaelic.  Evidently  the  gentleman  was  a  High- 
lander. 

Lareovers  for  meddlers.  When  children  are  over-inquisitive  as  to  the 
meaning  or  use  of  any  article,  they  are  rebuked  by  being  told  it  is  "a  lareover 
for  young  meddlers,"  from  "  layer-over,"  explained  as  a  gentle  term  for  some 
instrument  of  chastisement  in  Forby's  "  Vocabulary  of  East  Anglia."  In 
Derbyshire  the  expression  in  use  is  "layhouds  for  meddlers,"  which  simply 
means  a  lay-hold,  something  that  will  lay  hold  of  those  who  meddle  with  it, 
used  as  a  deterrent  to  frighten  the  child  from  touching  the  interdicted  article. 
The  phrase  varies  indifferent  parts  of  the  kingdom  :  thus,  in  Kent  it  is  "rare- 
overs  for  meddlers." 

Last  Man.  This  was  a  nickname  given  by  the  Parliamentarian  party  to 
Charles  I.,  signifying  that  he  was  the  last  who  should  ever  rule  on  the  throne 
of  England.  Hi's  son,  who  afterwards  became  Charles  II.,  was  illogically — 
indeed,  Hibernically — alluded  to  as  the  Son  of  the  Last  Man. 

In  literature  the  "  Last  Man"  has  occupied  a  position  of  some  prominence 
through  the  poem  of  that  title  by  Thomas  Campbell  and  the  long  and  bitter 
controversy  to  which  it  gave  rise.  The  poem — a  lyric  in  which  the  last  of 
human  mould  is  pictured  as  gazing  on  the  final  destruction  of  the  world — was 
published  in  the  New  Monthly  Magazine  towards  the  close  of  1823.  Shortly 
after  its  appearance  the  poet  wrote  to  his  friend  Gray, — 

Did  you  see  "  The  Last  Man"  in  my  late  number?  Did  it  remind  you  of  Lord  Byron's 
poem  of  "  Darkness"  ?  I  was  a  little  troubled  how  to  act  about  this  appearance  of  my  having 
been  obliged  to  him  for  the  idea.    The  fact  is,  many  years  ago  I  had  the  idea  of  this  "  Last 


•  Z ITERAR  V  CURIOSITIES.  6 1 3 

Man"  in  my  head,  and  distinctly  remember  speaking  of  the  subject  to  Lord  Byron.  I  recog- 
nized when  I  read  his  poem  "  Darkness"  some  traits  of  the  picture  which  1  meant  to  draw, 
— namely,  the  ships  floating  without  living  hands  to  guide  them  : 

Ships  sailorless  lay  rolling  on  the  sea. 

And  their  masts  fell  down  piecemeal ;  as  they  dropped 

They  slept  on  the  abyss  without  a  surge, — 

The  waves  were  dead  : 
the  earth  being  blank,  and  one  or  two  other  circumstances.  On  soberly  considering  the 
matter,  I  am  entirely  disposed  to  acquit  Lord  Byron  of  having  intentionally  taken  the  thought. 
It  is  consistent  with  my  own  experience  to  suppose  that  an  idea  which  is  actually  one  of 
memory  may  start  up,  appearing  to  be  one  of  the  imagination,  in  a  mind  that  has  forgot  the 
source  from  whence  it  borrowed  the  idea. 

The  poet  winds  up  by  saying  that  he  had  decided  not  to  make  any  public 
statement  of  his  prior  claim  unless  he  were  accused  of  plagiarism,  as  he  did 
not  wish  to  appear  to  be  picking  a  quarrel  with  Lord  Byron. 

The  charge  of  plagiarism  came  in  due  course.  But  meanwhile  Byron  had 
died  (April,  1824).  The  position  became  doubly  difficult  for  Campbell.  A 
quarrel  with  the  living  would  have  been  less  unseemly  than  an  attack  on  the 
dead.  Neveitheless,  in  an  open  letter  to  Jeffrey,  editor  of  the  Ediiilmrgh 
Review,  Campbell  reiterated  the  statements  he  had  privately  made  to  Gray. 
He  further  explained  that  on  the  appearance  of  Byron's  stanzas  in  1816  he 
had  determined  to  waive  his  prior  claim  and  leave  his  own  poem  unwritten  ; 
but  one  day  Barry  Cornwall  informed  him  that  some  one  purposed  writing  a 
long  poem  entitled  "  The  Last  Man."  This  was  indeed  hard  !  "  The  conception 
of  the  '  Last  Man'  had  been  mine  fifteen  years  ago  ;  even  Lord  Byron  had 
spared  the  title  to  me  ;  I  therefore  wrote  my  ]3oem  so  called,  and  sent  it  to 
the  press  ;  for  not  one  idea  in  which  was  I  indebted  to  Lord  Byron  or  to  any 
other  person.  Had  I  foreseen  events,  I  should  have  communicated  with  Lord 
Byron  during  his  lifetime." 

There  is  something  amusing  in  Campbell's  painful  earnestness,  especially 
in  view  of  the  fact  that  his  statement  is  very  doubtful.  Cyrus  Redding,  one 
of  his  biographers,  is  inclined  to  make  light  of  the  subject.  "  I  happened  to 
know,"  he  says,  "from  a  friend  whom  I  met  in  Paris  in  1S17,  and  who  had 
seen  Byron  and  Shelley  in  the  South  the  year  before,  that  with  Byron  the 
poem  of  'Darkness'  originated  in  a  conversation  with  Shelley  as  they  were 
standing  together  in  a  day  of  brilliant  sunshine  looking  over  the  Lake  of 
Geneva.  Shelley  said,  'What  a  change  it  would  be  if  the  sun  were  to  be  ex- 
tinguished at  this  moment !  how  the  race  of  man  would  perish,  until  perhaps 
only  one  remained, — suppose  one  of  us  !     How  terrible  would  be  his  fate  !'  " 

Redding  mentioned  the  circumstance  to  Campbell.  But  Campbell  would 
not  admit  it.  "  He  tenaciously  clung  to  the  belief  that  Byron  had  committed 
the  larceny."  Redding  then  observed  that  the  idea  of  a  sole  survivor  at  the 
last  day,  and  the  image  of  a  sun  quenched  suddenly  in  eternal  night,  were  not 
absolutely  original  with  either  poet,  as  he  remembered  seeing  something  of 
the  kind  written  long  before.  Campbell  began  to  wax  very  warm  at  the 
mere  supposition,  and  reiterated  his  claim  that  the  idea  of  a  last  man  was 
wholly  his  own,  although  he  did  give  Byron  credit  for  the  concomitant  dark- 
ness. 

Redding  afterwards  discovered  the  passage  to  which  he  had  alluded,  and 
confronted  Campbell  with  it. 

They  were  these  few  lines  in  "an  obscure  poem  printed  in  iSii  :" 

Thus,  when  creation's  destined  course  is  run. 
And  shrinking  nature  views  the  expiring  sun. 
Some  awful  sage,  the  last  of  human  race, 
Faith  in  his  soul,  and  courage  in  his  face, 
Unmoved  shall  brave  the  moment  of  affright 
When  chaos  reassumes  the  crown  of  night. 

52 


6l4  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Campbell  could  not  gafnsay  a  work  with  the  date  affixed.  "  You  are 
right,"  he  said  :  "  the  idea  is  not  original  with  me.  I  thought  it  had  been,  for 
I  never  met  with  it  before.  Original  ideas  are  few  :  only  the  modes  of  putting 
them  are  countless." 

After  Campbell's  death,  Redding  received  a  note  from  Dr.  Dickson,  accusing 
Campbell  of  borrowing  the  idea  from  Bishop  Home,  who  died  in  1792.  This 
is  improbable,  from  the  circumstance  that  Campbell  was  no  sermon-reader 
and  did  not  own  Home's  works.  Nevertheless,  a  passage  from  the  latter's 
sermon  on  "  The  Death  of  the  Old  Year"  is  particularly  striking  in  the  present 
connection,  as  it  contains  a  reference  to  a  still  older  use  of  the  idea,  found  in 
Burnet's  "Sacred  Theory  of  the  Earth"  (Book  iii.,  ch.  xii.),  published  about 
1685. 

This  celebrated  writer.  Home  says,  having  followed  the  earth  through  all 
its  changes  of  creation,  describes  the  final  and  utter  devastation  of  it,  when  all 
sublunary  nature  shall  be  overwhelmed  by  a  molten  deluge.  In  this  situation 
of  things,  "he  stands  over  the  world  as  if  he  had  been  the  only  survivor,  and 
pronounces  its  funeral  oration  in  a  strain  of  sublimity  scarcely  ever  equalled 
by  mere  man." 

Furthermore,  it  appears  that  in  reality  even  the  name  of  Campbell's  poem 
was  not  his  own.  In  the  British  Museum  there  is  a  work  entitled  "The  Last 
Man,  or  Omegarus  and  Syderia,  a  Romance  in  Futurity."  It  was  published 
in  two  volumes,  by  R.  Dutton,  45  Grace  Church  Street,  1806,  and  is  entered 
in  the  new  catalogue  under  the  sub-title  "  Omegarus,"  which  in  itself  implies 
tl-,e  subject-matter. 

But  the  history  of  the  "Last  Man"  does  not  end  with  Campbell.  A  few 
months  after  the  appearance  of  his  poem,  another  "  Last  Man" — a  novel — was 
j)ublished  by  Mrs.  Shelley.  She  describes  herself  in  her  journal  as  returning 
from  Italy  to  England,  after  an  absence  of  six  years,  still  mourning  for  her 
husband,  to  find  that  her  "genius  iiad  l)een  quenched  by  the  same  waters  that 
swept  him  away."  "Now  my  mind  is  a  blank,  a  gulf,  filled  with  formless 
mist.  'The  Last  Man.'  Yes,  I  may  well  describe  that  solitary  being's  feel- 
ings. I  feel  myself  as  the  last  relic  of  a  beloved  race, — my  companions  ex- 
tinct before  me." 

And  then,  to  show  that  lier  genius  was  quenched,  she  wrote  this  story.  It 
is  a  sad  descent  from  "  Frankenstein."  The  scene  opens  in  the  year  209a 
England  is  a  republic,  under  a  Protector.  The  tale  describes  the  depopula- 
tion of  the  earth  by  a  plague  ;  fifteen  thousand  survivors  in  England,  joined 
by  a  Protector,  repair  to  Italy,  and  the  hardships  of  their  voyage  are  vividly 
depicted  by  the  "  Last  Man,"  whose  wife  and  child  have  also  died.  When 
Milan  is  reached,  only  three  people  remain  alive  on  the  whole  earth,  two  of 
whom,  a  pair  of  brothers,  perish  in  the  storm. 

The  sole  survivor  resolves  to  write  the  fate  of  the  human  race,  and  he  does 
so  on  the  leaves  of  the  trees,  depositing  the  record  in  a  tree  in  Naples  just 
before  his  own  death,  trusting  that  possibly  one  man  and  woman  still  remain 
to  repeople  the  earth  and  read  the  history  of  its  awful  annihilation. 

In  1827  appeared  Hood's  poem  "The  Last  Man,"  the  title  being  in  quota- 
tions. He  does  not  describe  the  destruction  of  nature,  but  the  dreariness  of 
the  absolute  solitude  which  reigns  after  the  world  has  been  swept  by  "  the 
pest."  The  last  survivor  in  this  case  is  a  hangman,  who,  sitting  upon  his 
gallows-tree  and  congratulating  himself  on  his  supremacy  throughout  the 
entire  universe,  is  accosted  by  a  beggar  who  claims  him  as  a  brother.  They 
travel  through  the  great  cities,  helping  themselves  to  the  choicest  treasures 
of  the  dead  ;  but  the  companionship  is  uncongenial,  and  they  soon  separate, 
one  turning  to  the  right,  and  the  other  to  the  left.  After  some  time  the  beg- 
gar reappears,  arrayed  as  a  king,  with  a  scarlet  cloak  about  his  rags  and  a 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  615 

crown  upon  his  head.  This  presumption  is  too  much  for  the  hangman,  and 
he  immediately  despatches  the  beggar  in  the  mode  most  familiar  to  him.  No 
sooner  is  the  deed  accomplished  than  he  realizes  all  that  it  signifies,  and  he 
sighs  that  even 

Hanging  looks  sweet,— but,  alas  !  in  vain 

My  desperate  fancy  begs. 
For  there  is  not  another  man  alive 
In  the  world  to  pull  my  legs. 

Last  stra'W  breaks  the  camel's  back.  The  proverb  is  said  to  be 
of  Eastern  origin.  Whether  its  introduction  into  our  language  antedates  this 
quotation  is  conjectural.  In  his  "  Vindication  of  True  Liberty  against  Mr. 
Hobbes,"  Archbishop  Bramhall  says, — 

The  last  dictate  of  the  judgment  concerning  the  good  or  bad  that  may  follow  on  any 
action  is  not  properly  the  whole  cause,  but  the  last  part  of  it ;  and  yet  may  be  said  to  produce 
the  effect  necessarily,  in  such  manner  as  the  last  feather  may  be  said  to  break  a  horse's  back, 
when  there  were  so  many  laid  on  before  as  there  wanted  but  that  to  do  it. — (Written  in  1645, 
first  published  in  1655  ) — ll'orks,  vol.  iv.  p.  59  (Oxford,  1844). 

Laughing-matter,  No,  a  euphemism  for  something  very  serious,  or  even 
tragic. 

Sheridan's  answer  to  Lord  Lauderdale  was  excellent,  on  the  latter  saying  he  would  repeat 
some  good  thing  I  had  mentioned  to  him  :  "  Pray  don't,  my  dear  Lauderdale ;  a  joke  in  your 
mouth  is  no  laughing-matter." — Thomas  Moore  :  Diary. 

Laughter.  Somebody  observed  to  Lord  Chesterfield  that  mankind  was 
the  only  creature  possessed  of  the  power  of  laughter.  "  Yes,  and  perhaps 
the  only  one  that  deserves  to  be  laughed  at,"  said  the  earl.  "  I  desire  to  die," 
said  Horace  Walpole,  "  when  I  have  nobody  left  to  laugh  with  me.  I  have 
never  yet  seen  or  heard  anything  serious  that  was  not  ridiculous.  .  .  .  Oh, 
we  are  ridiculous  animals  ;  and  if  angels  have  any  fun  in  them,  how  we  must 
divert  them  !"  Byron,  with  a  deeper  insight,  recognizes  that  the  fount  of 
tears  is  that  of  laughter  also,  and  that  to  open  one  sluice  is  to  shut  off  the 
other : 

And  if  I  laugh  at  any  mortal  thing, 
'Tis  that  I  may  not  weep. 

Richardson,  however,  had  said  long  before, — 

Indeed,  it  is  to  this  deep  concern  that  my  levity  is  owing;  for  I  struggle  and  struggle,  and 
try  to  buffet  down  my  cruel  reflections  as  they  rise  ;  and  when  I  cannot,  /  am  forced  to  try 
to  make  mysef  laugh  that  I  may  not  cry  :  for  one  or  other  I  must  do  ;  and  is  it  not  philos- 
ophy carried  to  the  highest  pitch  for  a  man  to  conquer  such  tumults  of  soul  as  I  am  some- 
times agitated  by,  and  in  the  very  height  of  the  storm  to  quaver  out  a  horse-laugh? — Clarissa 
Harloiue,  Letter  84. 

Nevertheless,  with  the  average  man  kindly  and  genial  laughter  expresses 
joy  and  not  represses  sorrow.  Wit  devoid  of  malice  has  been  compared  to 
the  wine  of  paradise,  which,  as  Moslem  doctors  aver,  exhilarates  without  the 
danger  of  reaction. 

"  We  may  well  be  refreshed,"  says  good  Jeremy  Taylor,  "  by  a  clean  and 
brisk  discourse,  as  by  the  air  of  Campanian  wines,  and  our  faces  and  our 
heads  may  well  be  anointed  and  look  pleasant  with  wit,  as  with  the  fat  of 
the  balsam-tree."  "  L'allegrezza  nutrisce  la  vita,"  says  the  Italian  proverb, 
j^sculapius  is  reputed  to  have  written  comic  songs  to  promote  digestion  in 
his  patients.  Dr.  Sydenham,  the  English  physician,  declared  that  the  arrival 
of  a  merry-andrew  in  a  village  was  worth  more  than  that  of  twenty  asses 
loaded  with  medicines.  It  is  said  that  another  London  physician  used  to 
write  under  his  prescriptions,  "Item,  read  three  or  four  pages  of  'Peregrine 
Pickle.' " 

Professor  Hufeland,  of  Berlin,  used  to  declare  that  laughter  was  one  of  the 
greatest  helps  to  digestion  with  which  he  was  acquainted,  and  that  the  custom 


6l6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

prevalent  in  the  Middle  Ages  of  exciting  it  at  table  by  the  jokes  and  puns 
of  jesters  and  buffoons  was  founded  on  true  medical  principles.  The  same 
truth  is  recognized  in  popular  saws,  as  in  the  English  "  Laugh  and  grow  fat." 

II  y  a  trois  medecins  qui  ne  se  trompent  pas, — 
La  gaiete,  le  doux  exercice,  et  le  modeste  repas, 

says  the  French  proverb,  which  is  echoed  in  the  English, — 
Use  three  physicians 
Still  :  first.  Dr.  Quiet  ; 
Next,  Dr.  Rlerryman, 
And  Dr.  Dyet,— 

a  sentiment  found  as  far  back  as  the  "Regimen  Sanitatis  Salernitanum" 
(ed.  1607),  but  more  familiar,  perhaps,  in  Swift's  version, — "The  best  doctors 
in  the  world  are  Dr.  Diet,  Dr.  Quiet,  and  Dr.  Merryman"  (^Polite  Co?iver- 
sation.  Dialogue  ii.),  which  gives  the  climacteric  place  of  honor  to  Dr.  Mer- 
ryman. 

Another  famous  phrase  is  that  of  Peter  Pindar  (John  Wolcot) : 
Care  to  our  coffin  adds  a  nail,  no  doubt, 
And  every  grin  so  merry  draws  one  out. 

Expostulatory  Odes,  xv. 

Milton's  invocation  to  Mirth  at  the  commencement  of  his  "L'Allegro"  is 
classical : 

Haste  thee.  Nymph,  and  bring  with  thee 
Jest  and  youthful  Jollity, 
Quips  and  Cranks  and  wanton  Wiles, 
Nods  and  Becks  and  wreathed  Smiles, 

****** 
Sport,  that  wrinkled  Care  derides. 
And  Laughter  holding  both  his  sides. 
Come  and  trip  it  as  ye  go. 
On  the  light  fantastic  toe. 

Lavender,  Lie  in.  A  person  who  is  in  hiding  is  said  to  be  laid  up  in 
lavender,  so  also  a  thing  pawned.  By  a  method  of  folk-etymology  by  no 
means  of  rare  occurrence,  this  phrase  is  derived  from  the  lavender  in  which 
pawned  articles  are  packed,  to  keep  out  moths,  thus  : 

But  the  poore  gentleman  paies  so  deere  for  the  lavender  it  is  laid  up  in,  that  if  it  lies  long 
at  a  broker's  house,  he  seemes  to  buy  his  apparel  twice. — Greene  :  Harleian  Miscellany. 

And  a  black  satten  of  his  own  to  go  before  her  in  :  which  suit,  for  the  more  sweetening,  now 
lies  in  lavender. — Ben  Jonson  :  Every  Mun  out  0/ his  Humor. 

But  lavender  may  be  a  corruption  of  Levant  (</.  v.).  The  Levant  is,  in 
humorous  figure  of  speech,  that  place  where  they  betake  themselves  to  who 
would  be  benefited  by  a  temporary  absence  from  solicitous  inquiries  after 
them  ;  just  as  Jericho  is  a  place  where  one  is  sent  by  his  friends  when  he 
becomes  preposterous  or  obstreperous.  The  conclusion  is  possible,  there- 
fore, that  "  to  lie  in  the  Levant"  was  the  original  and  more  correct  wording 
of  the  phrase. 

Law  —  Lawyers.  Law  has  come  in  for  a  great  deal  of  enthusiastic 
praise  from  the  lawyers,  but  both  law  and  lawyers  have  fared  badly  at  the 
hands  of  the  literary  man  and  the  jester.  And  first  for  lawyers  on  the  law. 
We  have  Sir  Edward  Coke,  in  the  first  book  of  his  "  Institutes,"  speaking  of 
"the  gladsome  light  of  jurisprudence,"  and  declaring  in  a  still  more  famous 
phrase  that 

Reason  is  the  life  of  the  law;  nay,  the  common  law  itself  is  nothing  else  but  reason.  .  .  . 
The  law,  which  is  perfection  of  reason. 

We  have  Sir  John  Powell  echoing  Coke  : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  617 

Let  us  consider  the  reason  of  the  case.  For  nothing  is  law  that  is  not  reason.- -  C^^^f  7/j. 
Bernard,  2  Lord  Raymond,  911. 

And  we  have  Sir  Matthew  Hale  placing  law  almost  on  a  level  with  the 
Scriptures,  as  an  infallible  test  of  right.  This  was  in  1664,  when  two  women 
were  hung  in  Suffolk,  under  a  sentence  of  Sir  Matthew,  who  took  the  oppor- 
tunity of  declaring  that  the  reality  of  witchcraft  was  unquestionable;  "for, 
first,  the  Scriptures  had  affirmed  so  much  ;  and,  secondly,  the  wisdom  of  all 
nations  had  provided  laws  against  such  persons,  which  is  an  argument  of  their 
confidence  of  such  a  crime." 

Nay,  we  even  have  non-legal  lights  like  Dr.  Johnson  declaring  to  Mrs. 
Piozzi  that  "the  law  is  the  last  result  of  human  wisdom  acting  upon  human 
experience  for  the  benefit  of  the  public."  And  in  conversation  with  Boswell 
he  defended  the  lawyers  fiom  a  charge  of  habitual  insincerity.  "Does  not  a 
barrister's  affected  warmth  and  habitual  dissimulation  impair  his  honesty.'" 
asked  Boswell.  "  Is  there  not  some  danger  that  he  may  put  on  the  same  mask 
in  common  life,  in  the  intercourse  with  his  friends  ?"  "  Why,  no,  sir,"  replied 
the  doctor  :  "  a  man  will  no  more  carry  the  artifice  of  the  bar  into  the  common 
intercourse  of  society  than  a  man  who  is  paid  for  tumbling  upon  his  hands  will 
continue  to  do  so  when  he  should  walk  on  his  feet."  On  the  other  hand, 
Horace  Smith,  himself  a  member  of  the  legal  profession,  thus  characterizes 
the  lawyer  in  "The  Tin  Trumpet :" 

Right  and  wrong,  truth  or  falsehood,  morality  or  profligacy,  are  all  equally  indifferent  to 
him.  Dealing  in  law,  not  justice,  his  brief  is  his  Bible,  the  ten  guineas  of  his  retaining  fee 
are  his  Decalogue :  his  glory,  like  that  of  a  cook-maid,  consists  in  wearing  a  silk  gown,  and 
his  heaven  is  in  a  judge's  wig.  Head,  heart,  conscience,  body,  and  soul,  all  are  for  sale  :  the 
forensic  bravo  stands  to  be  hired  by  the  highest  bidder,  ready  to  attack  those  whom  he  has 
just  defended,  or  defend  those  whom  he  has  just  attacked,  according  to  the  orders  he  may 
receive  from  his  temporary  master. 

Macaulay,  by  implication,  makes  much  the  same  accusation  : 

We  will  not  at  present  inquire  whether  the  doctrine  which  is  held  on  this  subject  by  English 
lawyers  be  or  be  not  agreeable  to  reason  and  morality, — whether  it  be  right  that  a  man  should, 
■with  a  wig  on  his  head  and  a  band  round  his  neck,  do  for  a  guinea  what,  without  those  ap- 
pendages, he  would  think  it  wicked  and  infamous  to  do  for  an  empire,— whether  it  be  right  that, 
not  merely  believing  but  knowing  a  statement  to  be  true,  he  should  do  all  that  can  be  done, 
by  sophistry,  by  rhetoric,  by  solemn  asseveration,  by  indignant  exclamation,  by  gesture,  by 
play  of  features,  by  terrifying  one  honest  witness,  by  perplexing  another,  to  cause  a  jury  to 
think  that  statement  false. — Essay  on  Bacon. 

No  one  has  been  more  savage  in  his  criticisms  on  the  "  perfection  of 
reason"  than  Jeremy  Bentham.  In  answer  to  the  question,  what  is  this  boasted 
English  law  which,  as  Englishmen  have  been  told  for  ages,  renders  them  the 
envy  and  admiration  of  surrounding  nations,  he  replies, — 

The  substantive  part  of  it,  whether  as  written  in  books  or  expounded  by  judges,  a  chaos, 
fathomless  and  boundless  ;  the  huge  and  monstrous  mass  being  made  up  of  fiction,  tautol- 
ogy, technicality,  circuity,  irregularity,  and  inconsistency  ;  the  administrative  part  of  it.  a 
system  of  exquisitely  contrived  chicanery  ;  a  system  made  up  of  abuses  ;  a  system  which 
constantly  places  the  interest  of  the  judicial  minister  in  opposition  to  his  duty  ;  so  places 
his  interest  in  opposition  to  his  duty,  that  in  the  very  proportion  in  which  it  serves  his  ends 
it  defeats  the  ends  of  justice  ;  a  system  of  self-authorized  and  unpunishable  depredation  ;  a 
system  which  encourages  mendacity,  both  by  reward  and  punishment ;  a  system  which  puts 
fresh  arms  into  the  hands  of  the  injurer,  to  annoy  and  distress  the  injured  ;  in  a  word,  a 
system  which  maximizes  delay,  sale,  and  denial  of  justice. 

It  was  a  legal  gentleman  who  gave  the  famous  toast,  "  The  glorious  uncer- 
tainty of  the  law."  This  was  in  1756,  soon  after  Lord  Mansfield  had  over- 
ruled several  ancient  legal  decisions  and  introduced  many  innovations  in  the 
practice.  At  a  dinner  of  judges  and  counsel  in  Serjeants'  Hall,  Mr.  Wilbra- 
ham  gave  as  a  toast,  "The  glorious  uncertainty  of  law."  Charles  Macklin, 
in  his  play  of  "Love  a  la  Mode"  (1759),  borrowed  the  phrase: 
52* 


6l8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  law  is  a  sort  of  hocus-pocus  science,  that  smiles  in  yer  face  while  it  picks  yer  pocket; 
and  the  glorious  uncertainty  of  it  is  of  mair  use  to  the  professors  than  the  justice  of  it. 

Act  ii.,Sc.  1. 

Fuller  had  already  said,  with  fine  sarcasm, — 

Strange,  that  reason  continuing  always  the  same,  law,  grounded  thereon,  should  be  capa- 
ble of  so  great  alteration. 

Tennyson  has  a  fling  at  the  lawless  science  of  law  : 

Mastering  the  lawless  science  of  our  law, — 
That  codeless  myriad  of  precedent. 
That  wilderness  of  single  instances. 

Ayhner's  Field. 

It  was  no  less  a  person  than  Lord  Brougham  who  defined  a  lawyer  as  "  a 
learned  gentleman  who  rescues  your  estate  from  your  enemies  and  keeps  it 
to  himself."  This  embodies  a  favorite  charge  against  the  profession,  as  may 
be  seen  in  the  following  proverbs  : 

Lawsuits  make  the  parties  bare,  the  lawyers  fat. —  German. 

"  The  suit  is  ended,"  said  the  lawyer  :  "  neither  party  has  anything  left." 

He  who  goes  to  law  for  a  sheep  loses  his  cow. 

A  lean  agreement  is  better  than  a  fat  lawsuit. — Italian. 

Lawyers'  garments  are  lined  with  suitors'  obstinacy. 

Law's  costly  :  take  a  pint  and  'gree. — Scotch. 

Here  are  some  more  gems  of  proverbial  wisdom  which  deal  with  other 
aspects  of  law  and  lawyers  : 

No  good  lawyer  ever  goes  to  law. — Italian. 

Fair  and  softly,  as  lawyers  go  to  heaven. — English. 

Unless  hell  is  full,  never  will  a  lawyer  be  saved. — French. 

The  greater  lawyer,  the  worse  Christian. —  Dutch. 

"  Virtue  in  the  middle,"  said  the  Devil,  when  seated  between  two  lawyers. — Danish. 

Joe  Miller,  too,  in  all  countries  and  under  various  aliases,  has  his  little  jests 
anent  the  same  subject.  A  very  famous  chestnut  has  been  versified  by 
Boileau.     Pope  translates  it  thus  : 

Once  (says  an  author;  where,  I  need  not  say) 

Two  travelFers  found  an  oyster  in  their  way  ; 

Both  fierce,  both  hungry,  the  dispute  grew  strong. 

While,  scale  in  hand.  Dame  Justice  passed  along. 

Before  her  each  with  clamor  pleads  the  laws. 

Explains  the  matter,  and  would  win  the  cause. 

Dame  Justice,  weighing  long  the  doubtful  right. 

Takes,  opens,  swallows  it  before  their  sight. 

The  cause  of  strife  removed  so  rarely  well, 

"  There,  take,"  says  Justice,  "  take  ye  each  a  shell; 

We  thrive  at  Westminster  on  fools  like  you. 

'Twas  a  fat  oyster  !  live  in  peace, — adieu." 

Here  are  a  few  anecdotes  from  the  repertoire  of  Mr.  Miller : 

M.  de  la  B ,  a  French  gentleman,  seems  to  have  formed  a  very  correct 

notion  of  the  independence  of  the  bar.  Having  invited  several  friends  to 
dine  on  a  nui'gi-e  day,  his  servant  brouglit  him  word  that  there  was  only  a 
single  salmon  left  in  the  market,  which  he  had  not  dared  to  bring  away,  be- 
cause it  had  been  bespoken  by  a  barrister.  "  Here,"  said  his  master,  putting 
two  or  three  pieces  of  gold  into  his  hand,  "go  back  directly,  and  buy  me  the 
barrister  and  the  salmon  too." 

A  lady  inquired  of  an  attorney  what  were  the  requisites  for  going  to  law, 
to  which  he  replied,  "  Why,  it  depends  upon  a  number  of  circumstances.  In 
the  first  place,  you  must  have  a  good  cause  ;  secondly,  a  good  attorney  ; 
thirdly,  a  good  counsel  ;  fourthly,  good  evidence  ;  fifthly,  a  good  jury  ;  sixthlv, 
a  good  judge  ;  and,  lastly,  good  luck."  There  is  a  faint  reminiscence  here  of 
the  German  proverb,  "  Who  will  prosecute  a  lawsuit  must  have  much  gold, 
good  lawyers,  much  patience,  and  much  luck." 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  619 

The  renowned  Peter  the  Great,  being  at  Westminster  Hall  in  term  time, 
and  seeing  multitudes  of  people  swarming  about  the  courts  of  law,  is  said  to 
have  inquired  what  all  those  busy  people  were,  and  what  they  were  about, 
and,  being  told  that  they  were  lawyers,  replied,  "  Lawyers  !  why,  I  have  but 
four  in  my  whole  kingdom,  and  I  design  to  hang  two  of  them  as  soon  as  I 
get  home." 

Samuel  Foote  being  once  summoned  into  the  country  by  the  relatives  of  a 
respectable  practitioner,  to  whom  he  had  been  appointed  executor,  was  asked 
what  directions  should  be  given  respecting  the  funeral.  "  What  may  be  your 
practice  in  the  country,"  said  the  wag,  "  I  do  not  exactly  know  ;  but  in  Lon- 
don, when  a  lawyer  dies,  his  body  is  disposed  of  in  a  very  cheap  and  simple 
manner.  We  lock  it  up  in  a  room  over-night,  and  by  the  next  morning  it  has 
always  totally  disappeared.  Whither  it  has  been  conveyed  we  cannot  tell  to 
a  certainty  ;  but  there  is  invariably  such  a  strong  smell  of  brimstone  in  the 
chamber  that  we  can  form  a  shrewd  guess  at  the  character  of  the  convey- 
ancer." 

Law.  One  law  for  rich  and  one  for  poor.  It  has  been  suggested  that 
the  original  meaning  of  this  phrase  was  just  the  opposite  from  that  generally 
read  into  it, — i.e.,  that  there  are  two  laws,  one  for  the  wealthy,  and  another 
and  different  and,  of  course,  harsher  law  for  the  poor.  Thus  its  primitive 
import  would  have  been,  "  One  law  for  rich  and  poor,"  as,  e.g.,  in  Exodus  xii. 
49,  "  One  law  shall  be  to  him  that  is  home-born,  and  unto  the  stranger  that 
sojourneth  among  you."     Whether  this  be  so  or  not,  the  idea  that 

Laws  grind  the  poor,  and  rich  men  rule  the  law, 

Goldsmith  :   The  Traveller, 

is  one  that  has  prevailed  and  found  expression  in  proverb,  maxim,  and  epi- 
gram in  all  ages  and  in  all  climes,  and  not  always  without  cause.  The  Scotch 
adage,  which,  circa  1707,  was  "as  prevalent  as  it  was  scandalous"  (Walter 
Scott  :  Bride  of  Lanvnermoor,  ch.  i.),  and  which  ran,  "Show  me  the  man, 
and  I  will  show  you  the  law,"  was  justified  by  the  gross  partiality  with  which 
justice  was  administered  there  about  the  time  of  the  union  of  the  two  crowns. 

Other  forms  which  the  thought  has  assumed  are  : 

Laws  do  vex  the  meaner  kind  of  men,  but  the  mighty  are  able  to  withstand  them. —  IVit's 
Commonwealth  (1688),  p.  96. 

Quid  faciant  leges  ubi  sola  pecunia  regnat, 
Aut  ubi  paupertas  vincere  nulla  potest  ? 

Petronius. 

A  very  ancient  and  common  form  of  speech  is  that  attributed  by  Plutarch 
in  his  Life  of  Solon  to  Anacharsis  : 

When  Anacharsis  (on  his  visit  to  Solon)  knew  what  Solon  was  about,  he  laughed  at  his 
undertaking,  and  at  the  absurdity  of  imagining  he  could  restrain  the  avarice  and  injustice  of 
the  citizens  by  written  laws,  which  in  all  respects  resembled  spiders'  webs,  and  would,  like 
them,  only  entangle  and  hold  the  weak,  while  the  rich  and  powerful  easily  broke  through 
them.     {Langhorne' s  Transl.) 

Valerius  Maximus  (lib.  vii.,  c.  ii.,  extern.  11)  also  refers  this  saying  to 
Anacharsis,  but  Diogenes  Laertius  (i.  58)  ascribes  it  to  Solon,  and  Stobaeus 
(Serm.  xliii.)  to  Zaleucus.  Bacon,  quoting  it  in  his  "  Apothegms,"  refers  it  to 
"one  of  the  Seven"  Wise  Men  of  Greece. 

It  is  paraphrased  by  Robert  Cawdray,  in  "A  Treasury  or  Storehouse  of 
Similes"  (1609),  under  the  title  "  Laws  like  to  Cobwebs,"  thus  : 

As  little  flies  are  fast  tied  and  easily  snared  in  the  cobwebs,  but  the  drones  and  great  flies 
break  and  escape  through  them  :  so  likewise,  poor  and  mean  men  are  fast  wound  and  holden 
in  the  penalties  and  dangers  of  laws,  but  lords  and  men  in  great  authority  daily  break  laws 
and  are  not  corrected,  so  that  the  weakest  goeth  to  the  wall  and  the  worst  holdeth  the  candle. 


620 


HANDY-BOOK  OF 


It  may  be  worth  while  to  add  the  following  : 

Laws  catch  flies,  but  let  hornets  go  free. — Bohn  :  Hand-Book  of  Proverbs;  Hazlitt*. 
Engltih  Proverbs. 

(A  similar  saying  is  attributed  to  Swift  in  Timbs's  "  Laconics,"  i.,  No.  169.) 

La  vao  leis  unde  querum  cruzados  ("  Law  goes  where  dollars  please"). — Bohn  :  Polyglot 
0/ Foreign  Proz'erbs:   Portuguese  Proz'erb. 

Un  sacco  di  ducati,  uno  di  carta  e  uno  di  pazienza  per  aver  bona  sentenza. — Raccolta  di 
Proverb!  VenetidiC.  Pasqualigo  (1879),  p.  159,  sub  '•  Giustizia." 

Les  petits  sent  sujets  aux  Lois  et  les  grands  en  font  a  leur  guise. — Quoted  by  Erasmus 
as  a  French  current  saying,  in  his  Adagio,  (ed.  1670),  p.  22  (•'  Absvurda,"  etc.,  sub  "  Camelo 
Transmisso,"  etc.). 

When  Lord  Ellenborough  was  trying  one  of  the  government  cases  against 
Home  Tooke,  he  found  occasion  to  praise  the  impartial  manner  in  which 
justice  is  administered.  "  In  England,  Mr.  Tooke,  the  law  is  open  to  all  men, 
rich  or  poor."  "Yes,  my  lord,"  answered  the  prisoner,  "and  so  is  the 
London  Tavern."  Which  reminds  one  of  the  English  proverb,  "  Hell  and 
Chancery  are  always  open."  But  a  far  more  terrible  indictment  was  that  of 
Justice  Maule.  Aman  being  convicted  of  bigamy  before  him,  the  following 
dialogue  took  place  : 

Clerk  of  Assize.  What  have  you  to  say  why  judgment  should  not  be  passed 
upon  you  according  to  law .' 

Prisoner.  Well,  my  lord,  my  wife  took  up  with  a  hawker  and  ran  away 
five  years  ago,  and  I  have  never  seen  her  since,  and  I  married  this  woman 
last  winter. 

Mr.  Justice  Maule.  I  will  tell  you  what  you  ought  to  have  done ;  and  if 
you  say  you  did  not  know.  I  must  tell  you  that  the  law  conclusively  presumes 
that  you  did.  You  ought  to  have  instructed  your  attorney  to  bring  an  action 
against  the  hawker  for  criminal  conversation  with  your  wife.  That  would  have 
cost  you  about  a  hundred  pounds.  When  you  had  recovered  substantial 
damages  against  the  hawker,  you  would  have  instructed  your  proctor  to  sue 
in  the  Ecclesiastical  Courts  for  a  divorce  a  inensd  et  thoro.  That  would  have 
cost  you  two  or  three  hundred  pounds  more.  When  you  had  obtained 
divorce  a  viensd  et  thoro,  you  would  have  had  to  appear  by  counsel  before  the 
House  of  Lords  for  a  divorce  a  vinculo  matritnonii.  The  bill  might  have 
been  opposed  in  all  its  stages  in  both  Houses  of  Parliament  ;  and,  altogether, 
you  would  have  had  to  spend  about  a  thousand  or  twelve  hundred  pounds. 
You  will  probably  tell  me  that  you  never  had  a  thousand  farthings  of  your 
own  in  the  world  ;  but,  prisoner,  that  makes  no  difference.  Sitting  here  as  a 
British  judge,  it  is  my  duty  to  tell  you  that  this  is  not  a  country  iji  which  there 
is  one  law  for  the  rick  and  another  for  the  poor. 

Leader,  or  Leading  article,  in  English  newspaper  parlance,  is  better 
known  in  America  as  an  editorial.  Andrew  Lang  published  a  book  under 
the  excellent  punning  title  "  Lost  Leaders,"  being  made  up  of  his  editorial 
contributions  to  the  London  Daily  A'ews.  The  pioneer  journals  gave  news 
only,  without  comment.  The  first  leader  in  newspaper  history,  so  we  are  told 
by  Notes  and  Queries,  seventh  series,  vii.  476,  was  contained  in  the  (London) 
Moderate  oi  Tuesday,  December  12,  1648  (No.  22),  where,  after  references  to 
David  succeeding  Saul  to  the  exclusion  of  Ishbosheth,  and  to  various  other 
instances  in  sacred  and  profane  history  of  persons  ascending  the  throne 
without  regard  to  hereditary  claims,  the  writer  comes  to  the  conclusion  that 
the  reign  of  monarchs  depends  upon  the  authority  of  the  commonwealth. 
The  article  is  temperate  in  tone,  and  is  entirely  free  from  the  personalities 
and  abuse  characteristic  of  later  journalism.  But  this  is  only  a  sporadic 
instance.     The  first  paper  which  made  it  a  practice  to  enter  upon  the  contro- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  62 1 

versies  of  the  time  with  dignity  and  deliberation  was  The  Compleate  Intelligencer 
and  Resolver,  "In  two  parts.  The  first  giving  intelligence  of  the  state  of  the 
three  Kingdomes.  The  other,  Resolving  doubts  in  the  Present  Differences." 
In  the  third  issue  (November  14,  1643)  we  have  such  questions  resolved  as  the 
following  :  "  Whether  may  it  not  be  one  cause  of  the  trouble  of  this  Kingdome, 
that  the  Archbishop  of  Canterbury  [Laud]  hath  not  been  tryed  yet.?  Whether 
hath  he  not  deserved  to  suffer  ?"  Both  questions  are  argued  and  answered 
in  the  affirmative.  "The  sparing  of  him  hath  been  a  great  provocation  to 
heaven." 

I  write,  myself,  with  painful  slowness,  and  I  cannot  get  through  more  than  five  hundred 
words  an  hour,  'thus,  it  takes  me  three  hours  to  write  a  leading  article  of  fifteen  hundred 
words;  but,  dictating  it  to  an  amanuensis,  the  task  can  be  got  through  with,  so  far  as  the 
calligraphy  is  concerned,  in  just  one  hour  and  a  half.  To  this  must  be  added  two  hours  in  the 
morning  patiently  plodding  through  the  newspapers  in  search  of  an  attractive  subject,  and  at 
least  another  hour  spent  in  "  thinking  out"  the  subject  when  fixed  upon,  and  reading  up  the 
necessary  books  of  reference  if  the  topic  be  a  thorny  one.  This  is  known  in  circles  outside 
journalism  as  "  dashing  off"  a  leader. — Walter  Besant  :  interview  in  New  York  Recorder. 

Leap  in  the  dark.  Hobbes,  on  his  death-bed  (1679),  is  reported  to  have 
said,  "I  am  going  to  take  a  frightful  leap  into  the  dark."  This  phrase  has 
sometimes  been  attributed  to  Rabelais,  but  it  seems  to  be  a  misapprehension  or 
mistranslation  of  the  last  words  attributed  to  him, — "Je  m'en  vais  chercher  un 
grand  Peut-estre"  ("  I  am  going  in  search  of  a  great  Perhaps").  Dryden 
may  have  had  Rabelais's  phrase  in  his  mind  when  he  wrote, — 

Death  in  itself  is  nothing ;  but  we  fear 

To  be  we  know  not  what,  we  know  not  where. 

Or  perhaps  he  remembered  Shakespeare  : 

Ay,  but  to  die,  and  go  we  know  not  where; 
To  lie  in  cold  obstruction,  and  to  rot ; 
This  sensible  warm  motion  to  become 
A  kneaded  clod  ;  and  the  delighted  spirit 
To  bathe  in  fiery  floods,  or  to  reside 
In  thrilling  region  of  thick-ribbed  ice  ; 
To  be  imprisoned  in  the  viewless  winds, 
And  blown  with  restless  violence  round  about 
The  pendent  world. 

Measure  for  Measure,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  i. 

Voltaire,  when  seized  with  a  hemorrhage  which,  though  not  immediately 
fatal,  proved  in  fact  the  beginning  of  the  end,  said,  "Like  my  Henry  IV.,  to- 
day I  take  the  perilous  leap."  This  is  an  allusion  to  the  words  which  the 
king  addressed  to  Gabrielle  d'Estrees  on  the  eve  of  his  reception  into  the 
Catholic  Church, — "  C'est  demain,  ma  belle  amie,  que  je  fais  le  saut  perilleux." 
The  Earl  of  Derby  said  in  the  House  of  Lords,  August  6,  1867,  on  the  third 
reading  of  Disraeli's  Reform  Bill,  "No  doubt  we  are  making  a  great  experi- 
ment and  taking  a  leap  in  the  dark." 

In  "The  Merry  Musician,"  an  anonymous  and  undated  collection  of  songs 
(«Vm  1716),  and  in  the  supplementary  sixth  volume  of  Tom  D'Urfey's  "  Pills 
to  Purge  Melancholy"  (1720),  there  is  a  song  entitled  "A  Hymn  upon  the 
Execution  of  Two  Criminals,"  which  was  afterwards  sung  in  Gay's  "  Beggar's 
Opera."     Here  are  the  opening  stanzas  : 

All  you  that  must  take  a  leap  in  the  Dark, 

Pity  the  Fate  of  Lawson  and  Clark  ; 

Cheated  by  Hope,  by  Mercy  amused, 

Betray'd  by  the  sinful  ways  we  used  : 

Cropp'd  in  our  Prime  of  Strength  and  Youth, 

Who  can  but  weep  at  so  sad  a  Truth  ? 
Cropp'd  in  our  Prime,  etc. 

Once  we  thought  'twould  never  be  Night, 
But  now,  alas,  'twill  never  be  light ; 


622  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Heavenly  mercy  shine  on  our  Souls, 
Death  draws  near,  hark.  Sepulchre's  Bell  tolls : 
Nature  is  stronger  in  Youth  than  in  Age, 
Grant  us  thy  Spirit,  Lord,  Grief  to  assuage. 

Courses  of  Evil  brought  us  to  this, 

Sinful  Pleasure,  deceitful  Bliss, 

The  Snares  of  Wine  and  Women  fair,  etc. 

Leap-year  and  marriage.  It  is  a  common  idea,  held  more  in  jest,  how- 
ever, than  ill  earnest,  that  in  leap-year  it  is  woman's  privilege  to  "pop  the 
question"  to  man,  in  lieu  of  waiting  to  be  asked.  An  extension  of  this  notion 
is  found  in  the  leap-year  parties  not  uncommon  among  the  fun-loving  young 
people  of  America,  in  which  all  the  usual  conditions  are  reversed,  the  ladies 
calling  for  the  gentlemen,  choosing  their  own  partners  for  the  dance,  and 
waiting  on  the  moustachioed  belles  of  the  occasion.  An  early  reference  to  the 
custom  occurs  in  a  work  entitled  "Courtship,  Love,  and  Matrimony,"  printed 
in  the  year  1606  :  "  Albeit  it  is  now  become  a  part  of  the  common  lawe  in 
regarde  to  social  relations  of  life  that  as  often  as  every  bissextile  year  doth 
return  the  ladyes  have  the  sole  privilege  during  the  time  it  continueth  of 
making  love  unto  the  men,  which  they  doe  either  by  wordes  or  by  lookes,  as 
to  them  it  seemeth  proper  ;  and,  moreover,  no  man  will  be  entitled  to  the 
benefit  of  the  clergy  who  dothe  in  any  wise  treate  her  proposal  with  slight  or 
contumely."  Cuthbert  Bede,  however,  says  that  if  a  man  chose  to  refuse,  the 
lady  had  the  right  to  demand  a  silk  dress,  but  at  the  time  of  her  proposal 
she  had  to  be  the  wearer  of  a  scarlet  petticoat,  which,  or  the  lower  portion  of 
which,  she  must  exhibit  to  the  man. 

An  effort  has  been  made  to  date  the  custom  back  to  an  old  act  of  the  Scot- 
tish Parliament  "passed  about  the  year  1228,"  in  which  it  was  "ordaint  that 
during  ye  reign  of  her  maist  blessit  maiestie,  Margaret,  ilke  maiden  ladie,  of 
baith  high  and  lowe  estait,  shall  hae  libertie  to  speak  ye  man  she  likes.  Gif 
he  refuses  to  tak  her  to  bee  his  wyf,  he  shall  be  mulct  in  the  sum  of  ana 
hundredity  pundis,  or  less,  as  his  estait  may  bee,  except  and  alwais  gif  he 
can  make  it  appeare  that  he  is  betrothit  to  another  woman,  then  he  shall  bee 
free."  But  the  only  authority  for  this  statement  is  the  "  Illustrated  Almanac" 
for  1865,  which  probably  manufactured  the  statute  as  a  jest.  At  all  events, 
the  imitation  of  old  English  is  too  modern  for  the  year  1228. 

Of  evidently  modern  manufacture,  also,  is  the  Irish  legend  which  strives  to 
throw  the  authority  of  long  tradition  over  the  custom.  St.  Patrick,  so  the 
story  runs,  was  once  walking  along  the  shores  of  Lough  Neagh, — after  having 
"  driven  the  frogs  out  of  the  bogs"  and  "  the  snakes  out  of  the  grass," — when 
he  was  accosted  by  St.  Bridget.  With  many  tears  and  lamentations  she  in- 
formed him  that  dissension  had  arisen  in  the  nunnery  over  which  she  pre- 
sided, because  the  ladies  were  denied  the  right  of  "  popping  the  question." 
St.  Patrick,  although  a  single  man  himself,  was  somewhat  moved  by  this  piti- 
ful tale,  and  said  he  would  concede  women  the  right  of  making  their  selec- 
tion every  seventh  year.  St.  Bridget  demurred.  Throwing  her  arms  about 
his  neck,  she  exclaimed,  "  Arrah,  Pathrick,  jewel,  I  daurn't  go  back  to  the 
gurls  wid  sich  a  proposal.  Make  it  one  year  in  four."  To  which  St.  Patrick 
replied,  "  Biddy,  acushla,  squeeze  me  that  way  again,  an'  I'll  give  you  leap- 
year,  the  longest  of  the  lot !"  St.  Bridget,  thus  encouraged,  bethought  her- 
self of  her  own  husbandless  condition,  and  accordingly  popped  the  question 
to  St.  Patrick  himself;  but  of  course  he  could  not  marry:  so  he  patched  up 
the  difficulty  as  best  he  could  with  a  kiss  and  a  silk  gown. 

Learning.     "  A  little  learning  is  a  dangerous  thing,"  says  Pope  in  his 
"  Essay  on  Criticism,"  Part  ii.,  line  15.     And  he  advises  in  the  next  line, — 
Drink  deep,  or  taste  not  the  Pierian  spring ;— 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  623 

a  line,  by  the  way,  borrowed  from  Drayton  : 

Who  had  drunk  deep  of  the  Pierian  spring. 
Probably  Pope  had  in  mind  Bacon's  apothegm  in  his  essay  "Of  Atheism:" 
"  A  little  philosophy  inciineth  man's  mind  to  atheism,  but  depth  in  philoso- 
phy bringeth  men's  minds  about  to  religion."  F'uller  also  borrowed  from 
the  same  source:  "A  little  skill  in  antiquity  inclines  a  man  to  Popery;  but 
depth  in  that  study  brings  him  about  again  to  our  religion."  I^The  Holy  State: 
The  True  Antiquary.)  Donne,  in  his  "  Triple  Fool,"  put  the  same  idea  in  an- 
other form  : 

Who  are  a  little  wise  the  best  fools  be. 

Elsewhere  in  the  "  Essay  on  Criticism"  Pope  has  a  fling  at  mere  book- 
learning  : 

The  bookful  blockhead,  ignorantly  read. 
With  loads  of  learned  lumber  in  his  head, 

Part  iii.,  1.  53, 
in  whom,  as  Tennyson  puts  it, 

Knowledge  comes,  but  wisdom  lingers. 
An  Oriental  saying  runs, — 

Learning  to  have  and  wisdom  to  lack. 
Is  a  load  of  books  on  an  ass's  back. 

Chaucer  states  the  proposition  in  another  form  : 

The  gretest  clerkes  ben  not  the  wisest  men. 

The  Reves  Tate,  I.  4051. 

Cowper,  in  his  "  Progress  of  Error,"  thinks  that  education  by  travel  is  also 
useless  where  the  seeing  eye  is  wanting  : 

How  much  a  dunce  that  has  been  sent  to  roam 
Excels  a  dunce  that  has  been  kept  at  home  ! 

Nevertheless  there  is  good  sense  in  Maxim  571  of   Publius   Syrus :  "It  is 
only  the  ignorant  who  despise  education."  (See,  also.  Ignorance.) 

Leather,  There's  nothing  like,  a  proverbial  expression  in  English  and 
other  languages  to  ridicule  an  exaggerated  opinion  of  the  value  of  one's  own 
metier.  The  allusion  is  to  the  old  fable  accredited  to  iEsop,  of  the  town  in 
danger  of  a  siege,  wherein,  at  a  hasty  consultation  of  the  citizens  as  to  the 
best  method  of  fortification,  the  mason  recommends  stone,  the  carpenter  good 
stout  oak,  and  the  currier,  last  of  all,  gets  up  and  says  that  he  has  found  there 
is  nothing  like  leather. 

The  popularity  of  the  fable,  and  so  of  the  phrase,  has  been  largely  influenced 
by  the  following  anonymous  rhymed  version,  which  was  found  in  most  of  the 
school-books  in  the  earlier  ])ortion  of  the  century  : 

A  town  feared  a  siege,  and  held  consultation 

Which  was  the  best  method  of  fortification; 

A  grave,  skilful  mason  said  in  his  opinion 

Nothing  but  stone  could  secure  the  dominion. 

A  carpenter  said,  "  Though  that  was  well  spoke. 

It  was  better  by  far  to  defend  it  with  oak." 

A  currier,  wiser  than  both  these  together. 

Said,  "  Try  what  you  please,  there  s  nothing  like  leather." 

Leek  upon  Saint  Tavy's  day,  "Wearing  the.  The  Welsh  ecclesiastical 
tradition  is  that  St.  David  caused  the  Britons  under  King  Cadwalader  to  dis- 
tinguish themselves  by  wearing  a  leek  in  their  bonnets.  They  won  a  great 
victory  over  the  Saxons,  which  has  ever  since  been  commemorated  by  their 
wearing  the  leek  on  the  anniversary  of  the  day  {March  i).  (Brady:  Clavis 
Calendaria.) 

According  to  Shakespeare,  the  event  recalled  by  the  usage  was  an  incident 


624  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

in  the  battle  of  Crecy,  won  by  the  Black  Prince  over  the  French.     Fluellen 
thus  discourses  upon  it,  after  the  victory  of  Agincourt,  with  Henry  V.  : 

Fluellen.  Your  grandfather,  of  famous  memory,  an't  please  your  majesty,  and  your  great- 
uncle,  Edward  the  Plack  Prince  of  Wales,  as  1  have  read  in  the  chrouicles,  fought  a  most 
prave  pattle  here  in  France. 

King  Henry.  They  did,  Fluellen. 

Flue.  Your  majesty  says  very  true  ;  if  your  majesty  is  remembered  of  it,  the  Welshmen  did 
goot  service  in  a  garden  where  leeks  did  grow,  wearing  leeks  in  their  Monmouth  caps,  which, 
yoiir  majesty  know,  to  this  hour  is  an  honorable  padge  of  the  service  ;  and  I  do  believe  your 
majesty  takes  no  scorn  to  wear  the  leek  upon  Saint  Tavy's  day. — King  Henry  V.,  Act 
iv.,  Sc.  7. 

The  custom  was  observed  up  to  recent  times  by  the  royal  families  of  Eng- 
land. The  grandson  of  King  James  I.,  the  Elector,  at  Heidelberg,  observed 
the  usage,  as  is  noted  in  the  "  Memoirs"  of  Sophia,  Electress  of  Hanover,  in 
a  passage  which  confirms  the  tradition  as  related  by  Shakespeare  : 

On  March  i  (1661),  which  the  English  in  general,  and  the  royal  family  in  particular,  ob- 
serve by  eating  in  the  evening  an  onion  which  they  have  worn  in  their  hats  throughout  the 
day,  in  memory  of  a  battle  won  by  a  Prince  of  Wales  wearing  this  device,  the  Elector  ar- 
ranged to  send  leeks  to  all  the  English  residents  .  .  .  and  to  me,  and  invited  me  to  come 
and  eat  mine  in  his  rooms,  where  1  met,  etc.   .   .  . — Memoirs,  p.  95. 

In  Hogarth's  "  The  Rake's  Progress,"  No.  4,  is  represented  a  Welshman 
with  an  enormous  leek  in  his  bonnet,  showing  that  it  is  St.  David's  day,  and 
the  rake,  togged  in  all  his  finery,  is  proceeding  to  attend  a  levy  at  court. 

Left,  Over  the,  a  colloquialism  in  common  use  both  in  England  and  in 
America,  implying  doubt,  derision,  or  denial  of  some  prior  statement.  It  is 
an  abbreviation  of  "over  the  left  shoulder."  The  left  is  unlucky,  as  the  right 
is  lucky,  but,  as  two  negatives  make  an  affirmative,  so  two  unlucky  omens 
counteract  each  other  and  result  in  a  negation.  Thus,  to  throw  salt  over 
the  left  shoulder  neutralizes  the  ill  luck  that  would  otherwise  follow  from 
spilling  it.  To  pray  that  God  should  bless  a  person  over  the  left  shoulder  was 
a  euphemistic  form  of  cursing.  In  the  Records  of  the  Hartford  County  Courts, 
in  the  (then)  Colony  of  Connecticut,  is  found  the  following  curious  entry : 

At  a  County  Court  held  at  Hartford,    ) 
September  4,  1705.  X 

Whereas  James  Steel  did  commence  an  action  against  Bevell  Waters  (both  of  Hartford)  in 
this  Court,  upon  hearing  and  tryall  whereof  the  Court  gave  judgment  against  the  said  VVaters 
(as  injustice  they  think  they  ought),  upon  the  declaring  the  said  judgment,  the  said  Waters 
did  review  to  the  Court  in  March  next,  that,  being  granted  and  entered,  the  said  Waters,  as 
he  departed  from  the  table,  he  said,  "  God  bless  you  ozvr  the  left  shoulder." 

Ihe  Court  order  a  record  to  be  made  thereof  forthwith. 

A  true  copie  :     Test. 

Caleb  Stanley,  Clerk. 

At  the  next  court.  Waters  was  tried  for  contempt,  for  saying  the  words  re- 
cited, "so  cursing  the  Court,"  and  on  verdict  fined  five  pounds.  He  asked  a 
review  of  the  court  following,  which  was  granted  ;  and  pending  trial  the  court 
asked  counsel  of  the  Rev.  Messrs.  Woodbridge  and  Buckingham,  the  ministers 
of  the  Hartford  churches,  as  to  the  "common  acceptation"  of  the  offensive 
phrase.     Their  reply  constitutes  a  part  of  the  record,  and  is  as  follows  : 

We  are  of  opinion  that  those  words,  said  on  the  other  side  to  be  spoken  by  Bevell  Waters, 
include  (i)  prophaneness,  by  using  the  name  of  God,  that  is  holy,  with  such  ill  words  whereto 
it  was  joyned  ;  (2)  that  they  carry  great  contem])t  in  them,  arising  to  the  degree  of  an  impre- 
cation or  curse,  the  words  of  a  curse  being  the  most  contemptible  that  can  ordinarily  be  used. 

T.  Woodbridge. 
T.  Buckingham. 
March  7th,  1705-6. 

The  former  judgment  was  affirmed  on  review. 

At  this  inquiry  Mr.  Martin  looked  with  a  countenance  of  excessive  surprise  at  his  two 
friends,  and  then  each  gentleman  pointed  with  his  right  thumb  over  his  left  shoulder.  This 
action  is  imperfectly  described  in  words  by  the  very  feeble  term  of  over  the  left.  ...  Its 
expression  is  one  of  light  and  playful  sarcasm. — Dickens  :  Pickwick  Papers. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  625 

Leg,  To  make  a,  or  To  make  legs.  This  phrase  means  what,  in  modern 
parlance,  we  should  call  "  to  bow  the  head."  Fashions  change  nowadays. 
The  "  bow"  is  the  principal  mark  of  courtesy,  the  scrape  of  the  foot  merely 
an  accessory.  In  the  olden  time  the  scrape,  or  rather  genuflexion,  was  the 
marked  and  principal  sign,  the  bow  of  the  head  either  accessory  to  it  or  want- 
ing. Smyth,  in  the  manuscript  "  Lives  of  the  Berkeleys,"  vol.  iii.  p.  855, 
mentions  an  experience  in  the  twenty-sixth  year  of  the  reign  of  Queen  Eliza- 
beth, when  he,  then  a  page,  was  taught  by  his  lady  to  make  a  leg  : 

I  walked,  having  a  covered  dish  in  my  hands  with  her  son's  breakfast,  wherewith  I  was 
hastening,  and  thereby  presented  her  with  a  running  legge  or  curtesy,  as  loth  too  long  to  stay 
upon  that  duty.  Shee  called  me  back  to  her,  to  make  ere  I  departed  one  hundred  leggs  (soe 
to  call  them)  at  the  least ;  .  .  .  and  such  was  her  great  nobleness  to  mee  therein  (then  a  boy 
of  noe  desert,  lately  come  from  a  country  school  and  but  newly  entered  into  her  service),  that, 
to  shewe  me  the  better  how,  shee  lifted  up  all  her  garments  to  the  calf  of  her  legg,  that  I  might 
better  observe  the  grace  of  drawing  back  the  foot  and  bowing  of  the  knee. 

The  same  use  of  the  term  is  the  following : 

You  will  not  be  so  unmannerly  as  to  tume  your  backe  to  the  altar,  having  not  taken  your 
leave  of  God  with  a  low  leg  to  Him  at  the  altar. — Articles  against  John  Cosin  and  others, 
printed  in  Losin's  Correspondence,  Surtees  Soc,  iii.  179. 

In  "  Will  Summer's  Last  Will  and  Testament"  we  read  of  "beggars  making 
legs"  after  being  entertained.  Behind  the  scenes  the  phrase  was  so  famil- 
iar that  in  Chettle's  "  Death  of  Robert,  Earl  of  Huntingdon,"  1601,  the  stage 
direction  to  the  actor  in  the  margin  is  "  Make  legs."  "  He  made  a  leg  and 
went  away,"  writes  Swift;  and  Locke  observes,  "If  the  boy  should  not  put 
off  his  hat  nor  make  legs  more  gracefully,  a  dancing-master  would  cure  that 
defect." 

The  following  is  a  snatch  of  an  old  song  from  some  forgotten  drama  of  the 
last  century.     It  celebrates  the  triumphs  of  Orpheus's  lyre  : 
An  arm  of  the  sea. 
Introduced  by  a  tree. 
To  a  fair  young  whale  advances. 
And,  making  a  leg. 
Cries,  "  Miss,  may  I  beg 
Your  fin  for  the  next  two  dances?" 

Leg-of-Mutton  School,  a  generic  name  for  poetasters,  parasites  of  the 
rich,  who  give  servile  flattery  and  profuse  laudation  to  their  patrons  as  a 
quid  pro  quo  for  sumptuous  entertainment,  the  "  leg  of  mutton"  being  sup- 
posed to  typify  their  source  of  inspiration.  The  title  was  invented  by  J.  G. 
Lockhart  in  a  review  of  a  ridiculous  poem  called  "  Fleurs  :  a  Poem  in  Four 
Books,"  by  a  nameless  sycophant  of  the  Duke  of  Roxburghe,  whose  seat  was 
Fleurs  Castle,  and  whose  beefsteak  and  onions  seem  to  have  inflated  the  gus- 
tatory muse  of  the  anonymous  rhymester. 

The  chief  constellations  in  this  poetical  firmament  consist  of  led  captains  and  clerical 
hangers-on,  whose  pleasure  and  whose  business  it  is  to  celebrate  in  tuneful  verse  the  virtues 
of  some  angelic  patron  who  keeps  a  go  id  table  and  has  interest  with  the  archbishop  or  India 
House.  Verily,  they  have  their  reward.  The  anticipated  living  falls  vacant  in  due  time, 
the  son  gets  a  pair  ol  colors,  or  is  sent  out  as  a  cadet,  or  the  happy  author  succeeds  in  dining 
five  times  a  week  on  hock  and  venison,  at  the  small  expense  of  acting  as  toad-eater  to  the 
whole  family,  from  mv  lord  to  the  butler  inclusive.  It  is  owing  to  the  modesty,  certainly  not 
to  the  numerical  deficiency,  of  this  class  of  writers  that  they  have  hitherto  obtained  no  spe- 
cific distinction  among  the  auihors  of  the  present  day.  We  think  it  incumbent  on  us  to 
remedy  this  defect ;  and  in  the  baptismal  font  of  this  our  magazine  we  declare  that,  in  the 
poetical  nomenclature,  they  shall  in  future  be  known  by  the  style  and  title  of  "  The  Leg- 
of-Muiton  School."  .  .  . 

He  [the  Bard  of  Fleur  above  mentioned]  is  marked  by  a  more  than  usual  portion  of  the 
qualities  characteristic  of  the  Leg-ofMutton  School ;  by  all  their  vulgar  ignorance,  by  more 
than  all  their  clumsy  servility,  their  fawning  adulation  of  wealth  and  titles,  their  hankering 
after  the  flesh-pots,  and  by  all  the  symptoms  of  an  utter  incapacity  to  stand  straight  in  the 
presence  of  a  great  man. — Blackwood's  Magazine,  vol.  ix. 

2B  pj>  S3 


626  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Legem  servare  hoc  est  regnare.  Lord  Coleridge,  at  the  anniversary 
dinner  of  the  Royal  Literary  Fund  in  1874,  said  this  was  an  old  and  pious 
saying  which  had  come  down  to  us  from  the  Middle  Ages.  He  may  have 
been  thinking  of  the  Collect  in  the  Salisbury  Use,  from  which  the  Collect  for 
Peace  in  the  Morning  Service  is  translated  :  "  Dei  auctor  pacis  et  amator, 
quem  nosse  vivere  :  cui  servire,  regnare  est,"  etc. 

Leonine  verses,  strictly  speaking,  Latin  hexameters  and  pentameters  in 
which  rhymes  occur.  There  are  many  such  lines  in  the  classic  poets,  partic- 
ularly in  Ovid,  notwithstanding  our  tradition  that  the  Latins  avoided  rhymes 
as  systematically  as  we  seek  them.  But  the  device  became  habitual  in  the 
Middle  Ages,  when  the  instinct  towards  rhyme  asserted  itself  even  in  the 
ecclesiastical  Latin,  and  Leoninus,  canon  of  the  church  of  St.  Victor  in 
Paris  in  the  twelfth  century,  is  said  to  have  given  an  impulse  to  it.  Number- 
less specimens  remain,  such  as 

En  rex  Edvardus,  debacchans  ut  Leopardus. 
A  famous  Leonine  verse  is  that  which  recounts  the  adventure  of  the  Jew 
who  fell  into  a  pit  on  a  Saturday  : 

Tende  manus,  Salomon,  ego  te  de  stercore  coHam. 

Sabbata  nostra  colo,  de  stercore  surgere  nolo. 

Sabbata  nostra  quidem,  Salomon,  celebrabis  ibidem. 

Which  may  be  rendered  thus  : 

"  Your  hand,"  cried  John  Bull,  "  and  I'll  give  you  a  pull." 
"  'Tis  our  Sabbath,  dear  John,  when  no  work  must  be  done." 
"  And  ours  is  on  Sunday  ;  you  must  stay  there  till  Monday." 

Less  properly  Leonine  verses,  but  still  included  under  that  name,  are  those 
Latin  rhymed  verses,  not  in  the  classic  hexameter  or  pentameter  at  all,  of 
which  the  "  Stabat  Mater"  and  other  mediaeval  hymns  are  splendid  specimens. 
One  of  the  most  plaintive  examples  of  Leonine  verse  in  this  laxer  sense  is 
a  scrap  of  not  very  classical,  but  very  intelligible,  Latin  attributed  to  Mary 
Queen  of  Scots  in  prison  : 

O  Domine  Deus,  speravi  in  te  ; 

O  care  mi  Jesu,  nunc  libera  me ; 

E  dura  catena,  e  misera  poena, 
O  libera  me. 

Languendo,  gemendo,  genuque  flectendo, 

Adoro,  imploro,  ut  liberes  me. 

Some  authorities  recognize  as  Leonine  those  English  verses  in  which  one  of 
the  beats  within  the  line  proper  is  also  a  rhyme,  as  in  Campbell's  well-known 
line,  the  first  of  these  two  : 

To  the  fame  of  your  name 

When  the  storm  has  ceased  to  blow. 

Let  alone,  "We  desire  only  to  be.  In  his  first  message  to  the  Confed- 
erate Congress  at  Montgomery,  Alabama,  President  Davis  undertook  the 
defence  of  the  right  of  secession,  and  crowned  an  elaborate  argument  with 
the  above  declaration.  It  was  an  unfortunate  and  weak  expression,  very  vul- 
nerable, and  easily  twisted  to  the  purposes  of  caricature.  It  came,  indeed,  to 
be  extensively  caricatured,  and  thus  obtained  currency  as  a  popular  quotation, 
much  against  the  dignity  of  the  Southern  cause.  Every  rogue  "desired  only 
to  be  let  alone  ;"  it  was  the  ludicrous  excuse  for  all  sorts  of  crime,  when  the 
newspapers  wanted  to  make  a  laughing-stock  of  any  scapegrace  in  situations 
of  embarrassment,  all  the  way  from  the  police-court  to  the  historical  drama. 
A  popular  print  in  the  shop-windows  of  Northern  cities  illustrated  the  argu- 
ment, and  lampooned  its  author  as  a  burglar  making  off  with  his  plunder,  an 
armful  of  miniature  fortresses  and  ships  of  war  and  bags  of  money,  "  Uncle 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  627 

Sam"  clinging  to  his  coat-tails,  and  the  detained  victim,  with  an  air  of  injured 
innocence,  exclaiming,  as'  he  attempts  to  escape  out  of  a  window,  "I  desire 
only  to  be  let  alone  !" 

L'lfitat,  c'est  moi!  (Fr.,  "The  State,  I  am  the  State  !")  This  famous  say- 
ing is  attributed  to  Louis  XIV.  An  accretion  of  myths  and  misunderstand- 
ings, supplied  by  successive  historians,  has  finally  crystallized  into  the  pictu- 
resque story  that  Louis  determined  at  seventeen  years  of  age  to  assert  his 
authority,  appeared  in  Parliament  booted  and  spurred  and  with  a  whip  in  his 
hand,  prohibited  it  from  assembling,  and  to  the  remonstrance  of  the  president, 
who  spoke  of  the  interests  of  the  State,  haughtily  responded,  "  L'Etat,  c'est 
moi !"  The  facts  at  the  bottom  of  this  fabrication  appear  to  be  that  Cardinal 
Mazarin,  fearing  for  his  own  authority  when  Parliament  assembled  on  Decem- 
ber 22,  1665,  hastily  summoned  the  young  king  from  the  hunting-fields  of 
Vincennes,  that  Louis,  dressed  in  his  costume  de  chasse,  appeared  in  the  legis- 
lative chamber,  prohibited  Parliament  from  assembling,  and,  after  having  said 
a  few  words,  departed  without  listening  to  any  address.  The  words  have  not 
been  recorded,  but  there  is  no  doubt  that  the  king  was  simply  reciting  a 
lesson  learned  from  Mazarin.  Into  that  lesson  no  such  phrase  as  "I  am  the 
State"  could  have  slipped.  The  State  was  not  yet  Louis  XIV  :  it  was  Car- 
dinal Mazarin.  On  the  death  of  Mazarin,  however,  Louis  at  once  began  to 
assume  that  haughty  and  despotic  attitude  which  makes  the  mot  sound  typical 
and  characteristic.  "  Your  majesty,"  said  the  Archbishop  of  Rouen,  "  ordered 
me  to  address  myself  to  the  cardinal  in  all  matters.  As  he  is  dead,  to  whom 
shall  I  refer  ?"  "  To  me,"  said  the  king.  Summoning  his  cabinet,  he  gave 
them  to  understand  that  henceforth  he  would  be  his  own  prime  minister. 
Long  afterwards  Louis  employed  M.  de  Torcey  to  draw  up  a  course  of  public 
law  for  his  grandson,  the  Duke  of  Burgundy.  On  the  first  page  is  this 
sentence:  "The  nation  is  not  corporate  in  France:  it  lives  entirely  in  the 
person  of  the  king."  Courtiers  all  found  it  to  their  interest  to  flatter  the 
king's  evident  identification  of  himself  with  the  State.  In  fact,  Bossuet 
actually  said  of  him,  "  AH  the  State  is  in  him"  ("Tout  I'fitat  est  en  lui").  It 
was  but  a  step  from  the  tacit  acceptance  of  this  sentiment  to  its  open  avowal, 
and  that  step  the  veracious  historian  has  taken  for  the  king.  Napoleon  para- 
phrased the  famous  mot  when  he  said,  "I  am  the  French  Revolution." 
Afterwards,  at  Grenoble,  on  his  return  from  Elba  in  1815,  he  said,  "I  am  the 
Revolution  crowned." 

Levant,  To,  colloquial  English  for  to  abscond,  especially  from  one's  cred- 
itors. This  is  one  of  a  curious  group  of  words  in  many  languages  which  are 
the  result  of  bad  puns.  In  English  levant  approximates  in  sound  to  leave, 
hence  to  levant  is  to  leave.  In  French  "faire  voile  en  Levant"  and  in 
Italian  "  andare  in  Levante"  are  similar  puns, — the  first  on  lever,  the  second 
on  levare, — both  meaning  to  raise,  to  lift,  hence  the  punning  expression  means 
to  carry  away,  to  steal.  Belonging  to  the  same  group  are  the  English  "  off 
for  Bedfordshire"  or  "  the  land  of  Nod"  as  a  synonyme  for  to  sleep,  "  Hun- 
garian" for  hungry,  "  all  holiday  at  Peckham"  for  starving,  "  in  Easy  Street" 
for  comfortable,  prosperous,  and  "  in  Queer  Street"  for  the  opposite.  In 
French  equally  bad  puns  are  "aller  a  Niort  («2Vr),"  to  deny,  "aller  a  Ver- 
sailles (verser),"  to  be  upset,  "  aller  i  Cachan  (cacher),^^  to  conceal  one's  self, 
"aller  a  Rouen  (mine),"  to  become  bankrupt,  to  be  ruined,  etc.  In  Italian 
"andare  in  Picardia,"  "andare  a  Longone,"  "andare  a  Fuligno,"  all  mean 
to  suffer  the  penalty  of  the  law,  from  the  phonetic  affiliation  of  those  words 
with  spikes  and  ropes. 

When  he  found  she'd  levanted,  the  Count  of  Alsace 

At  first  ttimed  remarkably  red  in  the  face. 

Barham  :  Ingoldsby  Legends,  \.  244. 


628  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Liar.  Tin  something  of  a  liar  myself,  a  bit  of  American  colloquial 
humor  applied  to  any  one  suspected  of  playing  Munchausen.  The  story  runs 
that  a  certain  travelled  Yankee  who  had  told  a  marvellous  tale  of  adventure 
turned  round  to  a  Scotchman  in  the  company  and  asked  if  he  were  not  aston- 
ished. "  Na,  na,"  was  the  answer,  "  I'm  na  that.  I'm  something  of  a  leear 
mysel'." 

Liars  should  have  good  memories,  a  proverbial  saying  of  obvious 
wit  and  wisdom,  which  is  found  in  most  languages,  and  is  quoted  by  St. 
Jerome,  in  the  fourth  century,  as  being  even  then  an  old  saw:  "Oblitus 
veteris  proverbii,  mendaces  memores  esse  oportere"  ("  Unmindful  of  the 
old  proverb.  Liars  should  have  good  memories").  In  fact,  the  idea  is  found 
in  Quintilian  {Institutes,  iv.  2)  :  "  Mendacem  memorem  esse  oportere"  ("  To 
be  a  liar  memory  is  necessary").  Montaigne,  in  his  essay  "Of  Liars," 
quotes  the  saw  approvingly  : 

It  is  not  without  good  reason  said  that  he  who  has  not  a  good  memory  should  never  take 
upon  him  the  trade  of  lying. 

Fuller  has  an  admirable  gloss  of  the  proverb  : 

Memory  in  a  liar  is  no  more  than  needs.  For,  first,  lies  are  hard  to  be  remembered,  because 
many,  whereas  truth  is  but  one  ;  secondly,  because  a  lie,  cursorily  told,  takes  Uttle  footing  and 
settled  fastness  in  the  teller's  memorj-,  but  prints  itself  deeper  in  the  hearers,  who  take  the 
greater  notice  because  of  the  improbability  and  deformity  thereof;  and  one  will  remember  the 
sight  of  a  monster  longer  than  the  sight  of  a  handsome  body.  Hence  comes  it  to  pass  that 
when  the  liar  hath  forgotten  himself,  his  auditors  put  him  in  mind  of  the  lie  and  take  him 
therein. 

Liberal  Republicans,  the  name  given  by  themselves  to  certain  members 
of  the  Republican  party  during  the  first  term  of  Grant's  administration. 
Opposition  to  the  alleged  official  corruption  within  their  own  ranks  and  to 
the  more  radical  political  measures  of  that  party,  and  hatred  of  Grant,  were 
some  of  the  chief  characteristics  of  a  movement  somewhat  spasmodic  and 
desultory.  Charles  Sumner  and  Carl  Schurz  in  the  United  States  Senate,  in 
and  about  1870,  were  prominent  representatives  of  one  of  its  aspects.  The 
tidal  wave  of  1874,  and  the  pandering  to  the  sentiment  by  the  Democrats  in 
1872  by  endorsing  their  nomination  of  Horace  Greeley  for  the  Presidency,  are 
the  most  important  political  events  associated  with  it. 

Liberals,  a  name  given  in  England  to  the  party  of  more  advanced  Whigs 
and  Reformers  since  182S.  The  party  held  office  under  Earl  Grey,  Viscount 
Melbourne,  Earl  Russell,  Viscount  Palmerston,  and  Gladstone.  The  rem- 
nant of  the  Whigs  coalesced  with  the  Tories  into  the  Conservative  party. 
(See  Radicals.) 

■  Liberator,  The  (Sp.  "  El  Libertador"),  a  title  conferred  by  the  Peruvians, 
in  1823,  on  Simon  Bolivar,  the  general  of  the  South  American  colonies  in 
their  revolt  from  Spain.  He  is  also  known  as  the  Washington  of  South 
America.     The  state  of  Bolivia  is  named  after  him. 

Liberty  Cap.  This  takes  its  origin  from  the  ancient  Phrygian  cap,  which 
may  be  seen  in  all  the  representations  of  the  Trojans  in  Flaxman's  illustra- 
tions to  Homer.  In  ancient  Greece  and  Rome  slaves  were  not  allowed  to 
have  the  head  covered,  and  part  of  the  ceremony  of  freeing  a  slave  was 
placing  a  cap  on  his  head,  which  thus  became  the  symbol  of  liberty  and  was 
so  regarded  during  the  Roman  republic.  When  Saturninus  possessed  him- 
self of  the  capitol  (B.C.  263)  he  used  a  cap  on  a  pole  as  a  token  of  liberty  to 
all  slaves  who  might  join  him.  Marius  raised  the  same  symbol  to  induce  the 
slaves  to  take  arms  with  him  against  Sylla.  After  the  death  of  Caesar  the 
conspirators  marched  out  in  a  body  with'a  cap  borne  before  them  on  a  spear. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  629 

A  medal  with  this  device  was  struck  on  the  occasion,  and  is  still  in  existence. 
In  Fiance  the  "liberty  cap,"  or  "bonnet  rouge,"  was  introduced  by  the 
Girondists  during  the  Revolution,  and  it  owed  its  favorable  reception  princi- 
pally to  an  article  by  Brissot  in  the  Patriate  Fran^ais  for  February  6,  1792,  in 
which  he  declared  that  the  "mournful  uniform  of  hats"  had  been  introduced 
"by  priests  and  despots,"  and  proved  from  history  that  all  great  nations — the 
Greeks,  the  Romans,  the  Gauls — had  held  the  cap  in  peculiar  honor,  and  that 
in  modern  times  Voltaire  and  Rousseau  had  worn  it  as  a  symbol  of  free- 
dom. The  red  color  was  expressly  recommended  "as  the  most  cheerful." 
It  is  also  said  that  the  "bonnet  rouge"  was  habitually  worn  by  the  galley- 
slaves,  and  was  adopted  as  the  symbol  of  freedom  after  the  release  from  the 
galleys  of  the  Swiss  regiments  of  Chateau-Vieux.  Before  the  Revolution  red 
had  been  regarded  in  France  as  the  color  of  despotism  and  oppression,  and 
had  acquired  a  bad  reputation  among  patriots  through  "the  red  book"  and 
the  red  flag  as  the  instrument  of  martial  law.  But  after  Brissot's  letter  the 
red  cap  became  the  symbol  of  the  Girondists.  On  March  14  it  appeared  for 
the  first  time  in  the  Jacobin  Club.  Five  days  later  it  was  expelled  therefrom 
through  the  influence  of  Petion  and  Robespierre.  Nevertheless,  the  Giron- 
dists continued  to  uphold  it,  till  the  insurrection  of  June  20  made  it  the 
emblem  of  the  victory  of  republicanism  over  monarchy. 

Liberty,  Equality,  Fraternity,  the  three  watchwords  of  the  French 
Revolution  of  1789.  The  original  cry  was  for  liberty,  and  the  other  two 
words  were  gradually  and  separately  added.  In  its  entirety  the  phrase  has 
ever  been  the  motto  of  the  Republican  parly  in  France,  as  it  is  also  of  the 
extreme  Socialists  and  Radicals  everywhere.  The  French  Revolution  was 
an  expression  in  action  of  the  thoughts  of  many  preceding  proletarian  thinkers. 
It  was  in  some  sort  a  plagiarism  from  the  American  Revolution  of  1776,  re- 
afiirming  and  extending  the  principles  enunciated  in  the  Declaration  of  Inde- 
pendence that  "  all  men  are  created  equal,"  and  are  endowed  with  the  inalien- 
able rights  of  life,  liberty,  and  the  pursuit  of  happiness.  But  that,  in  its 
turn,  owed  much  to  the  French  philosophes  and  their  predecessors.  Even 
in  the  early  part  of  the  eighteenth  century  the  doctrines  of  equality  were  in 
the  air.  In  Germany  no  less  a  man  than  Frederick  the  Great  said,  "  Kings 
are  but  men,  and  all  men  are  equal."  In  England,  Pope,  voicing  the  philos- 
ophy of  Bolingbroke,  wrote, — 

Heaven  to  mankind  impartial  we  confess. 
When  all  are  equal — in  their  happiness. 

Essay  on  Man,  Epistle  iv.,  1.  53. 

That  arch-Tory  and  ex  Jupiter  Tonans,  Dr.  Samuel  Johnson,  it  is  true,  in 
the  same  year  that  Jefferson's  words  were  born,  gave  utterance  to  the  senti- 
ment that,  so  far  from  its  being  true  that  all  men  are  naturally  equal,  "no 
two  people  can  be  half  an  hour  together  but  one  shall  acquire  an  evident 
superiority  over  the  other"  (Boswell  :  Life,  iTld) ;  but  Charles  James  Fox 
said,  "I  am  for  equality.  I  think  that  men  are  entitled  to  equal  rights,  but 
to  equal  rights  to  unequal  things."  Turgot,  the  philosopher  of  the  French 
Revolution,  declared,  "The  republic  is  founded  upon  the  equality  of  all  the 
citizens;"  and  "the  fiery  Isnard"  is  quoted  by  Carlyle,  in  his  "French 
Revolution,"  thus  :  "  We  will  have  equality,  should  we  descend  for  it  to  the 
tnnib,"  an  adumbration  of  the  cry,  "  Fraternity  or  death,"  which  the  Jacobins 
ordered  to  be  put  upon  all  the  public  buildings.  This  last  was  wittily  para- 
phrased by  Sebastian  Chamfort,  "Be  my  brother,  or  I  will  kill  thee"  ("  Sois 
mon  frere,  ou  je  te  tue").  To  Madame  Roland  he  said,  "The  fraternity  of 
these  fellows  is  the  fraternity  of  Cain  and  Abel."  Chamfort  was  one  of  the 
bravest  as  well  as  one  of  the  most  brilliant  of  the  wits  who,  after  contributing 

53* 


630  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

to  bring  on  the  Revolution  by  their  attacks  upon  the  follies  and  injustice  of 
the  old  regime,  were  run  over  and  trampled  to  death  by  the  mob  of  fanatics 
whom  it  liberated  in  an  hour  from  all  the  restraints  of  authority  and  custom. 
It  was  he  who,  just  before  the  Revolution,  when  some  aristocrat  was  insisting 
that  the  nobility  must  be  considered  as  the  mediator  between  king  and  peo- 
ple, quietly  said,  "  Exactly,  as  the  hound  is  mediator  between  hare  and  hunts- 
man;" a  phrase  which  was  imitated  by  Sheridan,  "Such  protection  as 
vultures  give  to  lambs"  (Pizarro,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  2).  It  was  he  also  who  gave  the 
Abbe  Sieyes  the  famous  title  of  the  treatise  on  the  strength  of  which  Mirabeau 
wrote  to  him,  "  So,  then,  there  is  at  least  a  man  in  France  !"  "  The  Third 
Estate.  What  is  it  >  Nothing !  What  ought  it  to  be  ?  Everything !" 
Chamfort  warned  Roland  and  Madame  Roland  in  vain  that  the  Gironde 
would  find  itself  unable  to  hold  its  own  against  the  Mountain ;  but  as  the 
triumph  of  the  Jacobins  became  more  certain  Chamfort's  contempt  and 
horror  of  them  were  more  firmly  and  more  freely  expressed.  Finally  he  was 
arrested  and  thrown  into  prison,  but  was  soon  released.  In  1795  he  committed 
suicide  to  avoid  a  second  arrest. 

Yet  though  the  words  equality  and  fraternity  were  temporarily  abused  by 
fanatics,  the  principles  they  represented  have  gained  wider  and  wider  accept- 
ance.   Napoleon,  the  great  leveller,  used  almost  the  identical  words  of  Jeffer- 
son, "  Nature  made  all  men  equal,"  and  Burns  sang, — 
The  rank  is  but  the  guinea  stamp, 
The  man's  the  gowd  for  a*  that. 

For  a'  that  and  a'  that. 

Proudhon  closes  his  first  mSmoire  on  property  with  an  appeal  to  the  Deity 
to  hasten  the  coming  emancipation  and  to  witness  his  unselfish  devotion : 

O  God  of  liberty !  God  of  equality  !  thou  God  who  hast  placed  in  my  heart  the  senti- 
ment of  justice  before  my  reason  comprehended  it,  hear  my  ardent  prayer.  ...  I  have 
spoken  as  thou  hast  given  me  power  and  talent ;  it  remains  for  thee  to  complete  thy  work. 
Thou  knowest  whether  I  have  sought  my  interest  or  thy  glory.  May  my  memory  perbh,  if 
humanity  may  but  be  free.  .  .  .  Shorten,  if  it  may  be,  our  time  of  trial :  smother  inequality, 
pride,  and  avarice.  .  .  .  Then  the  great  and  the  small,  the  rich  and  the  poor,  will  unite  in 
one  ineffable  fraternity,  and  all  together,  chanting  a  new  hymn,  will  re-erect  thy  altar,  O  God 
of  liberty  and  of  equality. —  QLuvres  Completes,  tome  i.  p.  224. 

"  It  is  through  fraternity  that  liberty  is  saved."  These  were  the  closing 
words  in  the  short  speech  of  Victor  Hugo  on  his  return  to  Paris  after  the 
fall  of  the  Empire  in  1870,  which  he  made  to  the  people  assembled  at  the 
Northern  railway-station. 

Liberty  or  death.  In  the  Virginia  Convention  of  March,  1775,  Patrick 
Henry,  in  support  of  a  resolution  that  the  colony  be  immediately  put  in  a 
state  of  defence,  closed  his  speech  with  the  brilliant  peroration,  "  Is  life  so 
dear,  or  peace  so  sweet,  as  to  be  purchased  at  the  price  of  chains  and  slavery? 
Forbid  it.  Almighty  God  !  I  know  not  what  course  others  may  take  ;  but  as 
for  me,  give  me  liberty  or  give  me  death  !"  The  sentiment  is  not  unlike 
Addison's : 

My  voice  is  still  for  war. 
Gods !  can  a  Roman  senate  long  debate 
Which  of  the  two  to  choose,  slavery  or  death  ? 

Cato,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  i. 

Thomas  Jefferson,  in  his  "  Summary  View  of  British  America,"  has  the 
pithy  phrase,  "  The  God  who  gave  us  life  gave  us  liberty  at  the  same  time." 

Mr.  Henry  was  the  man  who  wanted  liberty  or  death.  He  preferred  liberty,  though.  If 
he  couldn't  have  liberty,  he  wanted  to  die,  but  he  was  in  no  great  rush  about  it.  He  would 
like  liberty,  if  there  was  plenty  of  it  ;  but  if  the  British  had  no  liberty  to  spare,  he  yearned  for 
death.  When  the  tyrant  asked  him  what  style  of  death  he  wanted,  he  said  that  he  would 
rather  die  of  extreme  old  age.     He  was  willing  to  wait,  he  said.     He  didn't  want  to  go  unpre- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  63 1 

pared,  and  he  thought  it  would  take  him  eighty  or  ninety  years  more  to  prepare,  so  that  when 
he  was  ushered  into  another  world  he  wouldn't  be  ashamed  of  himself. 

One  hundred  and  ten  years  ago,  Patrick  Henry  said,  "  Sir,  our  chains  are  forged.  Their 
clanking  may  be  heard  on  the  plains  of  Boston.  The  war  is  inevitable,  and  let  it  come.  I 
repeat  it,  sir,  let  it  come !" 

In  the  spring  of  i860  I  used  almost  the  same  language.  So  did  Horace  Greeley.  There 
were  four  or  five  of  us  who  got  oiu-  heads  together  and  decided  that  the  war  was  inevitable, 
and  consented  to  let  it  come. 

Then  it  came.  Whenever  there  is  a  large,  inevitable  conflict  loafing  around  waiting  for 
permission  to  come,  it  devolves  on  the  great  statesmen  and  bald-headed  literati  of  the  nation 
to  avoid  all  delay.  It  was  so  with  Patrick  Henry.  He  permitted  the  land  to  be  deluged  in 
gore,  and  then  he  retired.  It  is  the  duty  of  the  great  orator  to  howl  for  war,  and  then  hold 
some  other  man's  coat  while  he  fights. — Bill  Nye:  Remarks. 

Liberty  Party,  an  outgrowth  of  the  American  Anti-Slavery  Society. 
It  numbered  among  its  adherents  such  men  as  William  Lloyd  Garrison, 
Wendell  Phillips,  and  Salmon  P.  Chase,  and  was  less  remarkable  for  numbers 
than  for  persistent  agitation.  In  1840  its  candidate  for  the  Presidency,  James 
G.  Birney,  received  a  total  of  only  seven  thousand  and  fifty-nine  votes  in  the 
entire  country,  and  in  1848,  when  again  its  nominee,  he  had  sixty-two  thou- 
sand three  hundred.     It  was  merged  into  the  Free-Soil  Party  in  1848. 

Licked  into  shape.  This  expression  arises  out  of  the  popular  supersti- 
tion that  a  bear's  cub  is  born  an  amorphous  mass  and  is  licked  into  shape  by 
its  dam.  The  idea  is  a  very  old  one,  and  is  reported  seriously  by  Aristotle 
{History  of  Animals,  vi.  27)  and  other  ancient  and  mediaeval  writers.  Here 
is  Pliny's  circumstantial  account  of  the  phenomenon  : 

Bears  when  first  born  are  shapeless  masses  of  white  flesh  a  little  larger  than  mice,  their 
claws  alone  being  prominent.  The  mother  then  licks  them  gradually  into  proper  shape. — 
Natural  History,  Book  viii..  Sect.  126. 

The  myth  has  furnished  numerous  illustrations  to  the  poets  : 

To  disproportion  me  in  every  part. 

Like  to  a  chaos,  or  an  unlicked  bear-whelp. 

That  carries  no  impression  like  the  dam. 

Shakespeare  :  Henry  P'L,  Fart  HI.,  Act  iii..  So.  2. 

Not  unlike  the  bear  which  bringeth  forth 
In  the  end  of  thirty  dayes  a  shapeless  birth; 
But  after  licking,  it  in  shape  she  drawes. 
And  by  degrees  she  fashions  out  the  pawes. 
The  head,  and  neck,  and  finally  doth  brmg 
To  a  perfect  beast  that  first  deformed  thing. 

Du  Bartas  :  Divine  IVeekes  and  Workes  ; 
First  Week,  First  Day. 

So  watchful  Bruin  forms,  with  plastic  care. 
Each  growing  lump,  and  brings  it  to  a  bear. 

Pope  :  Dunciad,  i.  loi. 

In  French  "  ours  mal  leche"  is  commonly  used  figuratively  of  an  ill-bred 
man,  just  as  we  say  an  unlicked  cub  or  whelp.  Sir  Thomas  Browne  mentions 
the  belief  only  to  ridicule  it  in  his  "  Vulgar  Errors."  It  is  therefore  all  the 
more  surprising  to  find  Burke  accepting  it  as  a  fact.  Pouring  out  his  indig- 
nation against  Rousseau  for  deserting  his  children,  Burke  says,  "  The  bear 
loves,  licks,  and  forms  her  young  ;  but  bears  are  not  philosophers"  {Letter  to  a 
Member  of  the  National  Assembly,  1791).  In  the  course  of  a  rather  lively  contro- 
versy on  this  subject  in  Notes  and  Queries  (sixth  series,  iv.  395,  etc.),  F.  Chance 
seeks  to  show  that  the  error  is  one  of  interpretation  rather  than  of  observation  : 
"  I  never  was,  and  never  am  likely  to  be,  present  at  the  birth  of  a  bear's  cub, 
but  I  have  often  witnessed  the  birth  of  puppies,  and  I  can  affirm  that  a  pup 
at  birth  does  appear  to  be  a  shapeless  mass,  and  that  after  the  mother  has 
licked  away  at  it,  its  shape  comes  very  clearly  into  view."  But  to  this  J. 
Dixon  very  properly  replies,  "  From  the  earliest  times  men  must  have  been 


632  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

accustomed  to  witness  births  among  their  flocks  and  herds,  to  say  nothing  of 
puppies  ;  and  yet  it  very  early  became  a  belief  that  the  cub  of  a  bear  differed 
in  a  remarkable  way  from  other  new-born  animals.  Few  persons  could  have 
been  present  at  the  accouchement  of  a  bear,  and  so  the  story  of  the  cub  being 
born  shapeless,  having  been  once  told,  was  not  likely  to  be  contradicted." 

Lie — under  a  mistake.    A  very  common  jest  among  school-boys  is  to  say, 
"You  lie"  (pause)  "under  a  mistake,"  which  turns  an  insult  into  a  joke.     It 
is  sad  to  chronicle  that  this  same  jest  has   reappeared  in  literature  in  three  at 
least  of  our  classical  authors,  as  per  the  following  extracts : 
You  lie — under  a  mistake, — 
For  this  is  the  most  civil  sort  of  lie 
That  can  be  given  to  a  man's  face.     I  now 
Say  what  I  think. 

Shelley  :  Translation  of  the  Magico  Prodi^oso,  Sc.  i. 

If,  after  all,  there  should  be  some  so  blind 
To  their  own  good  this  warning  to  despise. 

Led  by  some  tortuosity  of  mind 
Not  to  believe  my  verse  and  their  own  eyes 

And  cry  that  they  the  moral  cannot  find, 
I  tell  him,  if  a  clergyman,  he  lies; 

Should  captains  the  remark,  or  critics,  make. 

They  also  lie  too — under  a  mistake. 

Byron  :  Don  Juan,  Canto  i. 

You  are  tempted,  after  walking  round  a  line  [of  Milton]  threescore  times,  to  exclaim  at 
last.  Well,  if  the  Fiend  himself  should  rise  up  before  me  at  this  very  moment,  in  this  very 
study  of  mine,  and  say  that  no  screw  was  loose  in  that  line,  then  would  I  reply,  "  Sir,  with 

due  submission,  you  are "     "  What !"  suppose  the  Fiend  suddenly  to  demand  in  thunder, 

"  What  am  I  ?"  "  Horribly  wrong,"  you  wish  exceedingly  to  say  ;  but,  recollecting  that  some 
people  are  choleric  in  argument,  you  confine  yourself  to  the  polite  answer,  "  That,  with  defer- 
ence to  his  better  education,  you  conceive  him  to  lie" — that's  a  bad  word  to  drop  your  voice 
upon  in  talking  with  a  friend,  and  you  hasten  to  add — "  under  a  slight,  a  very  slight  mistake." 
— De  QuiNCEY  :  Milton  versus  Southey  and  Landor. 

The  phrase  was  a  popular  one  so  far  back  as  the  time  of  Swift,  for  he  puts 
it  in  the  mouth  of  one  of  his  characters  in  "  Polite  Conversation."  But 
Swift's  brochure  was  a  satire  on  the  inanity  of  fashionable  society. 

Lies,  Half-.  Lord  Bacon,  in  his  essay  "  Of  Truth,"  has  the  following  praise 
of  half-lies : 

A  mixture  of  a  lie  doth  ever  add  pleasiu-e.  Doth  any  man  doubt  that  if  there  were  taken 
out  of  men's  minds  vain  opinions,  flattering  hopes,  false  valuations,  imaginations  as  one 
■would,  and  the  like,  but  it  would  leave  the  minds  of  a  number  of  men  poor  shrunken  things, 
full  of  melancholy  and  indisposition,  and  unpleasing  to  themselves? — Bacon:  Essays:  Of 
Truth. 

Per  contra,  Tennyson  says, — 

That  a  lie  which  is  half  a  truth  is  ever  the  blackest  of  lies  ; 
That  a  lie  which  is  all  a  lie  may  be  met  and  fought  with  outright. 
But  a  lie  which  is  part  a  truth  is  a  harder  matter  to  fight. 

The  Grandmother,  Stanza  8. 

Life.  Of  all  Mrs.  Barbauld's  voluminous  poetry  one  stanza  alone  survives. 
If  the  praise  of  the  best  minds  is  a  guarantee  of  immortality,  these  lines  are 
immortal : 

Life  !  we've  been  long  together 
Through  pleasant  and  through  cloudy  weather; 
'Tis  hard  to  part  when  friends  are  dear, — 
Perhaps  'twill  cost  a  sigh,  a  tear  ; 
Then  steal  away,  give  little  warning. 
Choose  thine  own  time  ; 
Say  not  "  Good-night,"  but  in  some  brighter  clime 
Bid  me  "  Good-morning." 

Wordsworth  used  to  repeat  them,  and  even  wish  they  were  his, — the  highest 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  d^Z 

praise  that  Wordsworth  knew  how  to  give.  Madame  d'Arblay  in  her  old  age 
told  Crabb  Robinson  that  every  night  she  said  the  verses  over  to  herself  as 
she  went  to  her  rest.  Tennyson  has  called  them  sweet  verses,  according  to 
Miss  Thackeray,  who  adds  that  to  her  "they  are  almost  sacred."  They  were 
written  about  1813,  but  published  posthumously. 

Had  Mrs.  Barbauld,  one  cannot  help  wondering,  ever  read  the  story  of  one 
Lamb  and  his  wife,  Scotch  martyrs  of  the  sixteenth  century?  Both  were 
condemned  by  the  authorities, — he  to  be  hanged,  she  to  be  tied  in  a  sack  and 
drowned  in  a  pool.  The  woman  on  parting  said  to  her  husband,  "  Husband, 
be  glad  ;  we  have  lived  together  many  joyful  days,  and  this  day,  on  which  we 
must  die,  we  ought  to  esteem  the  most  joyful  of  all,  because  now  we  shall  have 
joy  forever.  Therefore  I  will  not  bid  you  good-night,  for  we  shall  meet  in 
the  kingdom  of  heaven."  {Notes  and  Queries,  fifth  series,  iv.  64.) 

It  is  an  interesting  task  to  compare  what  the  poets  and  philosophers  have 
said  about  life.     On  the  one  hand  is  the  magnificent  optimism  of  Browning, — 
How  good  is  man's  life,  the  mere  living !  how  fit  to  employ 
All  the  heart  and  the  soul  and  the  senses  forever  in  joy  ! 

Saul,  ix. ; 
Have  you  found  your  life  distasteful  ? 
My  life  did,  and  does,  smack  sweet. 
Was  your  youth  of  pleasure  wasteful  ? 

Mine  I  saved  and  hold  complete. 
Do  your  joys  with  age  diminish? 

When  mine  fail  me,  I'll  complain. 
Must  in  death  your  daylight  finish  ? 
My  sun  sets  to  rise  again. 

At  the  Mermaid,  Stanza  10, — 

and  on  the  other  a  long  line  of  wailings  over  the  shortness  of  life,  its  transi- 
toriness,  its  incompleteness,  its  vanity,  its  sorrows.  Job's  cry,  "  Man  that  is 
born  of  a  woman  is  of  few  days,  and  full  of  trouble"  (xiv.  i),  is  echoed  by  the 
Preacher  in  Ecclesiastes,  "  For  all  his  days  are  sorrows,  and  his  travail  grief" 
(ii.  23),  and  finds  its  analogue  everywhere  in  literature,  ancient  and  modern, 
pagan  and  Christian  : 

For  fate  has  wove  the  thread  of  life  with  pain, 
And  twins  ev'n  from  the  birth  are  misery  and  man. 

Odyssey,  Book  vii.,  1.  263  (Pope's  translation). 

As  for  life,  it  is  a  battle  and  a  sojourning  in  a  strange  land ;  but  the  fame  that  comes  after 
is  oblivion. — Marcus  Aurelius  :  Meditations,  ii.  17. 

The  world's  a  bubble,  and  the  life  of  man 
Less  than  a  span. 

Lord  Bacon  :    The  World. 
Whose  life's  a  bubble,  and  in  length  a  span. 

William  Browne  :  Britannia's  Fastorals,  Book  i.,  Song  2. 

Our  days  begin  with  trouble  here. 

Our  life  is  but  a  span. 
And  cruel  death  is  always  near. 
So  frail  a  thing  is  man. 

New  Engla7id  Primer. 
Better  be  with  the  dead, 
Whom  we,  to  gain  our  place,  have  sent  to  peace. 
Than  on  the  torture  of  the  mind  to  lie 
In  restless  ecstasy.     Duncan  is  in  his  grave; 
After  life's  fitful  fever  he  sleeps  well  : 
Treason  has  done  his  worst ;  nor  steel,  nor  poison. 
Malice  domestic,  foreign  levy,  nothing, 
Can  touch  him  further. 
^  Shakespeare  :  Macbeth,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  2. 

To-morrow,  and  to-morrow,  and  to-morrow. 
Creeps  in  this  petty  pace  from  day  to  day 
To  the  last  syllable  of  recorded  time. 


634  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

And  all  our  yesterdays  have  lighted  fools 

The  way  to  dusty  death.     Out,  out,  brief  candle ! 

Life's  but  a  walking  shadow ;  a  poor  player, 

That  struts  and  frets  his  hour  upon  the  stage. 

And  then  is  heard  no  more :  it  is  a  tale 

Told  by  an  idiot,  full  of  sound  and  fury. 

Signifying  nothing. 

Macbeth,  Act  v.,  Sc.  3. 

Life  is  as  tedious  as  a  twice-told  tale 
Vexing  the  dull  ear  of  a  drowsy  man. 

King  John,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  4. 

Life  is  a  jest,  and  all  things  show  it ; 
I  thought  so  once,  but  now  I  know  it. 

Gay  :  My  own  Epitaph. 

O  life  !  thou  art  a  galling  load. 
Along  a  rough,  a  weary  road. 
To  wretches  such  as  I ! 

Burns:  Despondency. 

Is  there,  then,  anything  to  live  for?    Very  little;  but  let  us  make  the  best 
of  that  little.     Diim  vivimiis  vivamm  : 

Catch,  then,  oh,  catch  the  transient  hour; 

Improve  each  moment  as  it  flies  ! 

Life's  a  short  summer,  man  a  flower  ; 

He  dies — alas  !  how  soon  he  dies  ! 

Johnson:  Winter :  An  Ode. 

Life  let  us  cherish  while  yet  the  taper  glows. 
And  the  fresh  flow'ret  pluck  ere  it  close ; 
Why  are  we  fond  of  toil  and  care  ? 
Why  choose  the  rankling  thorn  to  wear? 

J.  M.  UsTERi  :  Life  let  us  cherish. 

Or,  with  James  Montgomery,  let  us  realize  that 

'Tis  not  the  whole  of  life  to  live. 
Nor  all  of  death  to  die, 

The  Issues  of  Life  and  Death, 

and  so  take  heart  of  grace  from  Longfellow's  admonition  : 
Tell  me  not,  in  mournful  numbers, 
"  Life  is  but  an  empty  dream !" 
For  the  soul  is  dead  that  slumbers, 
•  And  things  are  not  what  they  seem. 

Life  is  real  !  life  is  earnest ! 

And  the  grave  is  not  its  goal ; 
Dust  thou  art,  to  dust  returnest, 

Was  not  spoken  of  the  soul. 

A  Psalm  of  Life. 

Doddridge  seeks  to  show  how  the  Epicurean  and  the  ascetic  doctrine  may 
be  reconciled : 

Live  while  you  live,  the  epicure  would  say. 
And  seize  the  pleasures  of  the  present  day  ; 
Live  while  you  live,  the  sacred  preacher  cries. 
And  give  to  God  each  moment  as  it  flies. 
Lord,  in  my  views  let  both  united  be : 
1  live  in  pleasiu-e  when  1  live  to  thee. 

Epigram  on  his  Family  A  'ms. 

And  the  same  truth  is  taught  by  Ellen  Sturgis  Hooper  : 
1  slept,  and  dreamed  that  life  was  Beauty; 
1  woke,  and  found  that  life  was  Duty. 
Was  thy  dream,  then,  a  shadowy  lie? 
Toil  on,  poor  heart,  unceasingly. 
And  thou  shalt  find  thy  dream  to  be 
A  truth  and  noonday  light  to  thee. 

Life  a  Duty, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  635 

But,  whatever  life  may  be,  few  care  to  leave  it : 

For  who,  to  dumb  forgetfulness  a  prey,  -:^ 

'I  his  pleasing,  anxious  being  e'er  resign'd. 
Left  the  warm  precincts  of  the  cheerful  day. 
Nor  cast  one  longing,  lingering  look  behind? 

Gray  :  Elegy,  Stanza  22. 
Nay,  it  is  the  oldest  that  are  least  resigned.     "  Nobody  loves  life  like  an  old 
man,"  says  Sophocles  (Acrisius,  Frag.  63),  and  Euripides  tells  us, — 

Old  men's  prayers  for  death  are  lying  prayers,  in  which  they  abuse  old  age  and  long  extent 
of  life.  But  when  death  draws  near,  not  one  is  willing  to  die,  and  age  no  longer  is  a  burden 
to  them, — Alcestis,  669  ; 

sayings  which  are  thus  summed  up  by  Mrs.  Thrale  in  her  poem  of  "The 
Three  Warnings  :" 

The  tree  of  deepest  root  is  found 
Least  willing  still  to  quit  the  ground  : 
'Twas  therefore  said  by  ancient  sages 

That  love  of  life  increased  with  years 
So  much,  that  in  our  latter  stages. 
When  pain  grows  sharp  and  sickness  rages. 
The  greatest  love  of  life  appears. 

Lifting,  or  Heaving,  an  old  custom  formerly  prevalent  in  many  parts  of 
England,  mostly  performed  in  the  open  street.  People  formed  into  parties 
of  twelve  or  more,  and  from  every  one  "  lifted"  they  extorted  a  contribution. 
There  is  said  to  be  a  record  in  the  Tower  of  London  of  certain  payments 
made  to  ladies  and  maids  of  honor  for  taking  King  Edward  I.  in  his  bed  at 
Easter,  whence  it  has  been  presumed  that  he  was  lifted  according  to  the  custom 
which  then  prevailed  among  all  ranks  throughout  the  kingdom.  The  custom 
survives  locally  in  England  as  part  of  the  Easter  privileges  of  the  fair  sex. 

Light  and  leading.  Men  of.  In  "  Sibyl"  (Book  v.  ch.  i.)  Disraeli  had  the 
phrase,  "Not  a  public  man  of  light  and  leading  in  the  country  withheld  the 
expression  of  his  opinion."  Again,  February  28,  1859,  moving  for  leave  to 
bring  in  the  Representation  of  the  People  Bill  in  the  House  of  Commons, 
Disraeli  said,  "  I  believe  there  is  a  general  wish  among  all  men  of  light  and 
leading  in  this  country  that  the  solution  of  this  long-controverted  question 
should  be  arrived  at."  A  third  repetition  of  this  alliterative  phrase  occurred 
March  10,  1880,  in  an  electioneering  address  to  the  Duke  of  Marlborough, 
Lord  Lieutenant  of  Ireland.  But  long  before  Disraeli,  Burke  had  said,  in 
his  "  Reflections  on  the  Revolution  in  France"  (vol.  iii.  p.  331),  "The  men  of 
England, — the  men,  I  mean,  of  light  and  leading  in  England."  Cowper  has 
a  faintly  analogous  line  : 

Lights  of  the  world,  and  stars  of  human  race, 

The  Progress  of  Error,  1.  97  ; 

and  a  curious  verbal  likeness  is  found  in  an  old  ballad  which  describes  the 
vengeance  exacted  by  Crichton,  the  Lord  of  Sanquhar,  on  a  noted  free- 
booter, Johnstone  of  Annandale : 

And  when  they  came  to  the  Well  path  head, 

The  Crichtons  bade  them  "  Light  and  lead." 
But  this  only  means  that  the  followers  of  the  chief  were  to  "  dismount  and 
give  battle." 

Light,  Blasted  with  excess  of.  In  the  "  Progress  of  Poetry,"  Part  IIL, 
Sec.  2,  Gray  has  this  fine  allusion  to  Milton's  blindness  : 

He  passed  the  flaming  bounds  of  space  and  time  : 
The  living  throne,  the  sapphire  blaze. 
Where  angels  tremble  while  they  gaze. 
He  saw ;  but,  blasted  with  excess  of  light. 
Closed  his  eyes  in  endless  night. 


636  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Even  Dr.  Johnson,  no  admirer  of  Gray's,  condescends  to  acknowledge 
that  if  we  suppose  the  blindness  caused  by  study  in  the  formation  of  his 
poem,  this  account  is  poetically  true  and  happily  imagined.  It  is  no  detrac- 
tion from  Gray  that  he  was  remotely  indebted  for  his  daring  and  successful 
figure  to  Milton  himself,  who,  speaking  of  the  Deity,  says, — 
Dark  with  excessive  bright  thy  skirts  appear. 

Paradise  Lost,  Book  iii.,  I   380. 
This  line  is  frequently  misquoted  with  "  light"  for  "  bright," — a  substitution, 
however,  which  is  an  improvement.     Milton,  in  his  turn,  may  have  remembered 
that  passage  in  Longinus  where,  after  quoting  from  Demosthenes,  he  asks, 
"  In  what  has  the  orator  here  concealed  the  figure  ?    Plainly,  in  its  own  lustre." 

If  we  read  a  metaphorical  meaning  in  the  following  extract  from  Hermias, 
a  Galatian  writer  of  the  second  century,  it  closely  approximates  to  Gray's  figure  : 

When  Homer  resolved  to  write  of  Achilles,  he  had  an  exceeding  desire  to  fill  his  mind  with 
a  just  idea  of  so  glorious  a  hero  :  wherefore,  having  paid  all  due  honors  at  his  tomb,  he  en- 
treats that  he  may  obtain  a  sight  of  him.  The  hero  grants  his  poet's  petition,  and  rises  in  a 
glorious  suit  of  armor,  which  cast  so  insufferable  a  splendor  that  Homer  lost  his  eyes  while  he 
gazed  for  the  enlargement  of  his  notions. 

Pope  says  if  this  be  anything  more  than  mere  fable,  one  would  be  apt  to 
imagine  it  insinuated  his  contracting  a  blindness  by  too  intense  application 
while  he  wrote  the  Iliad, — which  is  exactly  analogous  to  Dr.  Johnson's  gloss 
on  Gray. 

Shelley  has  imitated  Gray  in  these  lines  from  "Julian  and  Maddalo  :" 

The  sense  that  he  was  greater  than  his  kind 
Had  struck,  methinks,  his  eagle-spirit  blind. 
By  gazing  on  its  own  exceeding  light. 

Light-fingered,  a  euphemism  for  "  thievish,"  applied  particularly  to  pick- 
pockets. 

Our  men  contented  themselves  with  looking  after  their  goods  (the  Tonquinese  being  very 
light-fingered),  and  left  the  management  of  the  boats  entirely  to  the  boat's  crew.— Dampjkr  : 
Voyages,  II ,  i.  14. 

Light-fingered  Catch,  to  keep  his  hands  in  ure. 

Stole  anything, — of  this  you  may  be  sure, 

"That  he  thinks  all  his  own  that  once  he  handles, — 

For  practice'  sake  did  steal  a  pound  of  candles  ; 

Was  taken  in  the  act :— oh,  foolish  wight ! 

To  steal  such  things  as  needs  must  come  to  light  ! 

A  Collection  of  Epigrams  (1727). 

Iiightning,  Qmck  as,  an  obvious  metaphor  found  in  all  literatures.  A 
few  examples  must  suffice  : 

It  must  be  done  like  lightning. 

Ben  Jonson  :  Every  Man  in  his  Humor,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  3. 
But  Hudibras  gave  him  a  twitch 
As  quick  as  lightning  in  the  breech. 
Just  in  the  place  where  honor's  lodged. 
As  wise  philosophers  have  judged  ; 
Because  a  kick  in  that  part  more 
Hurts  honor  than  deep  wounds  before. 

Butler  :  Hudibras,  Part  II.,  Canto  ii.,  1.  1065. 
Oh,  why  should  the  spirit  of  mortal  be  proud  ? 
Like  a  fast-flitting  meteor,  a  fast-flying  cloud, 
A  flash  of  the  lightning,  a  break  of  the  wave, 
He  passes  from  life  to  his  rest  in  the  grave. 

William  Knox:  Mortality. 
Such  souls. 
Whose  sudden  visitations  daze  the  world, 
Vanish  like  lightning,  but  they  leave  behind 
A  voice  that  in  the  distance  far  away 
Wakens  the  slumbering  ages. 

Sir  Henry  Taylor  :  Philip  Van  Artevelde,  Act  i.,  Sc.  7. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  637 

Shakespeare  says  of  the  happiness  of  lovers  that  it  is 

Too  like  the  lightning,  which  does  cease  to  be 
Ere  one  can  say,  "  It  lightens," 

Romeo  and  Juliet,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  2; 
and  again, — 

Swift  as  a  shadow,  short  as  any  dream. 
Brief  as  the  lightning  in  the  collied  night, 
That  in  a  spleen  unfolds  both  heaven  and  earth. 
And  ere  a  man  hath  power  to  say,  "  Behold !" 
The  jaws  of  darkness  do  devour  it  up  : 
So  quick  bright  things  come  to  confusion. 

A  Midsummer  Night's  Dream,  Act  i.,  Sc.  i. 

The  same  comparison  of  the  briefness  of  love  to  a  lightning-flash  was 
employed  nine  centuries  before  Shakespeare  by  the  Indian  poet  Bhavabhuti, 
in  the  drama  of  "  Malata  and  Madhava  :" 

Alas  !  too  often  is  the  happiness 

That  kindred,  friends,  and  lovers  taste  as  brief 

As  lightning's  transient  glare. 

Lilli-Burlero  and  BuUen-a-la,  said  to  have  been  the  shibboleth  of  the 
Irish  Catholics  in  the  bloody  events  of  1641.  A  song  with  the  refrain  of 
"Lilli-burlero,  bullen-a-la  !"  was  written  by  Lord  Wharton,  which  may  be 
called  the  "Marseillaise"  of  the  English  Revolution  of  16S8.  Burnet  says, 
"  It  made  an  impression  on  the  [king's]  army  that  cannot  be  imagined.  .  .  . 
The  whole  army,  and  at  last  the  people,  both  in  city  and  country,  were  sing- 
ing it  perpetually ;  .  .  .  never  had  so  slight  a  thing  so  great  an  effect."  It 
was  the  favorite  tune  of  "  Uncle  Toby"  in  "Tristram  Shandy."  The  words 
of  the  song  are  printed  in  Percy's  "  Reliques  of  Ancient  English  Poetry," 
Series  ii.,  Book  iii. 

Lily,  Consider  the.  In  the  Sermon  on  the  Mount,  Christ  enjoins  his 
disciples  to  take  no  thought  of  the  morrow  : 

Behold  the  fowls  of  the  air  :  for  they  sow  not,  neither  do  they  reap,  nor  gather  into  barns  ; 
yet  your  heavenly  Father  feedeth  them.     Are  ye  not  much  better  than  they  ? — Matthew  vi.  26. 

And  why  take  ye  thought  for  raiment?  Consider  the  lilies  of  the  field,  how  they  grow; 
they  toil  not,  neither  do  they  spin  :  and  yet  I  say  to  you.  That  even  Solomon  in  all  his  glory 
was  not  arrayed  as  one  of  these.  Wherefore,  if  God  so  clothe  the  grass  of  the  field,  which  to- 
day is,  and  to-morrow  is  cast  into  the  oven,  shall  he  not  much  more  clothe  you,  O  ye  of 
little  faith?— /J/Vj'.,  28-30. 

The  above  passages  bear  a  notable  similarity  to  one  of  the  apothegms  of 
the  Indian  poet  Bhartrihari  : 

He  by  whose  hands  the  swans  are  painted  white,  and  parrots  green,  and  peacocks  many- 
hued,  will  make  provision  for  thy  maintenance. 

Bhartrihari  is  held  to  have  been  a  brother  of  King  Vikramaditya,  who 
flourished  half  a  century  before  Christ. 
Burns  paraphrases  the  Scripture  texts  : 

That  he  who  stills  the  raven's  clamorous  nest. 

And  decks  the  lily  fair  in  flowery  pride. 

Would,  in  the  way  his  wisdom  sees  the  best. 

For  them  and  for  their  little  ones  provide. 

Lime-juicers,  an  epithet  of  contempt  for  the  English  commercial  marine, 
current  among  Yankee  skippers  ;  derived  from  the  regulation  requiring  Eng- 
lish merchant-vessels  to  carry  among  their  stores  a  supply  of  lime-juice  as  a 
preventive  against  scurvy. 

Lincoln  Brotherhood,  political  associations  of  negroes  in  the  South, 
after  the  close  of  the  civil  war,  to  protect  their  rights  of  suffrage. 
54 


638  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Linen.    It  is  not  linen  you're  w^earing  out    One  of  the  most  vivid 
passages  in  Hood's  "  Song  of  the  Shirt"  is  the  following  : 

O  men  with  sisters  dear, 

O  men  with  mothers  and  wives. 
It  is  not  linen  you're  wearing  out. 

But  human  creatures'  lives. 


This  is  probably  a  reminiscence  of  the  rebuke  which  Maggie  makes  to 
Oldbuck  of  Monkbarns  in  Scott's  "Antiquary"  (ch.  xi.) :  "It's  no  fish  ye're 
buying,  it's  men's  lives." 

Lines  are  fallen  unto  me  in  pleasant  places,  The.  The  quotation  is 
from  Psalm  xvi.  6.  "  Lines"'  was  formerly  synonymous  with  "  lot :"  a  survival 
of  the  word  in  this  sense  is  found  in  the  slang  phrase  "  hard  lines."  The 
passage  from  the  Psalm  above  given  in  the  Prayer-Book  version  (where  it  is 
verse)  is  rendered  thus :  "  The  lot  has  fallen  unto  me  in  a  fair  ground." 

Lion-Hunter,  The.  Among  the  penalties  of  fame  there  are  none  more 
terrible  than  the  persecutions  of  the  lion-hunter.  He  is  indefatigable  and 
ubiquitous  ;  his  nets  and  snares  are  spread  in  the  most  unsuspected  places  ; 
he  dogs  the  footsteps  of  the  lion,  pursues  him  into  the  sacred  recesses  of  his 
home,  and  drags  him  out  into  the  glare  of  publicity.  Or  he  assails  him 
through  the  mails,  seeking  advice,  encouragement,  assistance,  an  autograph. 
He  cannot  and  will  not  be  put  off. 

Nor  is  he  a  recent  development  As  far  back  as  the  eighteenth  century 
Schiller  complained  that  it  was  quite  a  peculiar  case  to  have  a  literary  name. 
"  The  few  men  of  worth  and  consideration  who  offer  you  their  intimacy  on 
that  score  and  whose  regard  is  really  worth  coveting  are  too  disagreeably 
counter-weighted  by  the  baleful  swarm  of  creatures  who  keep  humming  around 
you  like  so  many  swarms  of  flesh-flies,  gape  at  you  as  if  you  were  a  monster, 
and  condescend,  moreover,  on  the  strength  of  one  or  two  blotted  sheets,  to 
present  themselves  as  colleagues." 

The  great  Goethe  had  a  serene  and  splendid  way  of  dealing  with  these 
bores.  An  admirer  once  broke  into  his  bedroom  at  an  inn.  Goethe  was  un- 
dressing. But  the  worshipper,  nothing  daunted,  fell  at  the  feet  of  his  idol, 
and  poured  out  his  ecstatic  admiration.  Goethe  calmly  put  out  the  light 
and  jumped  into  bed. 

Sir  Walter  Scott  had  an  equally  hearty  hatred  of  lionizing,  but  his  courtesy 
prevented  his  showing  it.  He  extended  a  kindly  welcome  to  the  intrusive 
bores  who  overran  Abbotsford,  pestered  him  with  inquiries  as  to  why  he  did 
not  call  his  place  Tollyveolan  or  Tillytudlen,  questioned  him  about  his  own 
age  and  that  of  his  wife,  jotted  down  memoranda  of  other  domestic  details  in 
their  note-books,  and  shouted  out  "  Prodigious,"  in  facetious  imitation  of 
Dominie  Sampson,  at  whatever  was  shown  them.  He  was  scrupulously  care- 
ful, also,  to  answer  all  letters  addressed  to  him.  In  those  days  of  high  post- 
age this  was  a  tax  not  only  on  his  time  and  his  temper,  but  on  his  purse  as 
well.  He  spent  as  much  as  one  hundred  and  fifty  pounds  a  year  in  postage. 
Once  a  mighty  package  came  from  the  United  States.  Five  pounds  were  due 
on  it.  When  opened  it  was  found  to  contain  a  manuscript  called  "The  Cher- 
okee Lovers,"  a  drama  written  by  a  New  York  lady,  who  begged  Scott  to 
read  and  correct  it,  write  a  prologue  and  an  epilogue,  and  secure  a  manager 
and  a  publisher.  A  fortnight  later  another  package  of  similar  size,  charged 
with  a  similar  postage,  was  placed  in  Scoti's  hands.  When  opened,  out 
popped  another  copy  of  "The  Cherokee  Lovers,"  with  a  note  from  the  au- 
thoress explaining  that,  as  the  mails  were  uncertain,  she  had  deemed  it  pru- 
dent to  forward  a  duplicate. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  639 

In  our  own  days  Dr.  Holmes  is  one  of  the  greatest  sufferers.  Here  is  a 
really  pathetic  passage  from  his  volume  "Over  the  Tea-Cups:" 

"  For  the  last  thirty  years  I  have  been  in  the  habit  of  receiving  a  volume 
of  poems,  or  a  poem,  printed  or  manuscript, — I  will  not  say  daily,  though  I 
sometimes  receive  more  than  one  in  a  day, — but  at  very  short  intervals.  I  have 
been  consulted  by  hundreds  of  writers  of  verse  as  to  the  merit  of  their  per- 
formances, and  have  often  advised  the  writers  to  the  best  of  my  ability.  Of 
late,  I  have  found  it  impossible  to  attempt  to  read  critically  all  the  literary 
productions,  in  verse  and  in  prose,  which  have  heaped  themselves  on  every 
exposed  surface  of  my  library  like  snow-drifts  along  the  railroad-tracks, — 
blocking  my  literary  pathway,  so  that  I  can  hardly  find  my  daily  papers." 

You  see  he  does  not  complain,  he  only  laughs  good-naturedly.  But  it  is 
hard  for  an  outsider  to  consider  calmly  such  a  selfish  and  impudent  tax  upon 
the  time  and  strength  of  a  gentleman  so  busy,  so  weary,  so  old,  and,  above 
all,  so  kindly.  Lawyers,  doctors,  and  men  of  business  are  not  expected  to 
give  professional  advice  without  a  full  equivalent  for  the  service  :  why  should 
a  literary  man  have  to  give  time,  counsel,  and  criticism,  gratis,  to  every 
stranger  who  may  apply  for  it .? 

There  is  no  prominent  man  of  letters  in  this  country  or  in  England  who  has 
not  had  a  similar  experience.  No  circumstance  of  age,  illness,  poverty,  or 
exhausting  labor  serves  to  protect  him  from  these  unconscionable  demands. 
Walt  Whitman  himself,  in  his  feeble  old  age,  was  a  conspicuous  victim. 
There  is  something  pathetic,  and  humorous  as  well,  in  his  answer  to  a  poet 
who  called  and  offered  to  read  a  manuscript  tragedy.  "  No,  thank  you,"  said 
Whitman  :  "  I  have  been  paralyzed  twice." 

Carlyle  was  almost  driven  frantic  by  the  callers  who  came  to  gratify  their 
curiosity  at  his  expense ;  and  it  is  to  be  feared  that  too  many  of  them  were 
Americans.  No  wonder  that  he  characterized  the  entire  nation  as  "  forty 
millions  of  bores." 

In  one  of  her  letters,  Mrs.  Carlyle  gives  an  interesting  account  of  an  Ameri- 
can visitor  : 

"  Oh,  such  a  precious  specimen  of  the  regular  Yankee  I  have  never  seen 
since  !  Coming  in  from  a  drive  one  afternoon,  I  was  informed  by  Helen,  with 
a  certain  agitation,  that  there  was  a  strange  gentleman  in  the  library. 

" '  He  said  he  had  come  a  long  way,  and  would  wait  for  the  master  coming 
home  to  dinner  ;  and  I  have  been,'  said  she, '  in  a  perfect  fidget  all  this  while, 
for  I  remembered  after  he  was  in  that  you  had  left  your  watch  on  the  table.' 

"  I  proceeded  to  the  library  to  inspect  this  unauthorized  settler  with  my 
own  eyes.  A  tall,  lean,  red-herring-Iooking  man  rose  from  Carlyle's  writing- 
table,  at  which  he  was  sitting  writing,  with  Carlyle's  manuscripts  ahd  private 
letters  lying  all  about,  and,  running  his  eyes  over  me  from  head  to  foot,  said, — 

"  '  Oh  !  you  are  Mrs.  Carlyle,  are  you  ?' 

"  An  inclination  of  the  head,  intended  to  be  hauteur  itself,  was  all  the 
answer  he  got. 

" '  Do  you  keep  your  health  pretty  well,  Mrs.  Carlyle  ?'  said  the  wretch, 
nothing  daunted,  that  being  always  your  regular  Yankee's  second  word. 

"Another  inclination  of  the  head  even  slighter  than  the  first. 

"'I  have  come  a  great  way  out  of  my  road,'  said  he,  'to  congratulate  Mr. 
Carlyle  on  his  increasing  reputation  ;  and,  as  I  did  not  wish  to  have  my  walk 
for  nothing,  I  am  writing  till  he  comes  in.  But  in  case  he  should  not  come 
in  time  for  me,  I  am  just  writing  him  a  letter  here,  at  his  own  table,  as  you 
see,  Mrs.  Carlyle.' 

"Having  reseated  himself  without  invitation  of  mine,  I  turned  on  my  heel 
and  quitted  the  room,  determined  not  to  sit  down  in  it  while  the  Yankee 
Stayed.    But  about  half  an  hour  after  came  Darwin  and  Mr.  Wedgwood  ;  and, 


640  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

as  there  was  no  fire  in  the  room  below,  they  had  to  be  shown  up  to  the 
library,  where,  on  my  return,  I  found  the  Yankee  still  seated  in  Carlyle's 
chair,  very  actively  doing,  as  it  were,  the  honors  of  the  house  to  them  ;  and 
there  he  sat  upwards  of  an  hour,  not  one  of  us  addressing  a  word  to  him,  but 
he  not  the  less  thrusting  his  word  into  all  that  we  said.  Finding  that  I  would 
make  absolutely  no  answer  to  his  remarks,  he  poured  in  upon  me  a  broadside 
of  positive  questions. 

"  '  Does  Mr.  Carlyle  enjoy  good  health,  Mrs.  Carlyle  ?' 

"  '  No.' 

"' Oh  !  he  doesn't !     What  does  he  complain  of,  Mrs.  Carlyle  ?' 

" '  Of  everything.' 

"  '  Perhaps  he  studies  too  hard.     Does  he  study  too  hard,  Mrs.  Carlyle  ?' 

" '  Who  knows  .•" 

" '  How  many  hours  a  day  does  he  study,  Mrs.  Carlyle  ?' 

" '  My  husband  does  not  study  by  the  clock.' 

"  And  so  on. 

"  At  last  the  gentleman,  having  informed  himself  as  to  all  possible  and 
probable  omnibuses,  reluctantly  took  his  leave,  without  an  opportunity  of 
baiting  the  bear,  who  would  certainly  have  left  the  marks  of  the  teeth  on  him." 

Not  all  Carlyle's  visitors,  however,  were  Americans.  George  Gilfillan,  the 
once  famous  preacher,  lecturer,  and  critic  of  the  Spasmodic  School,  once 
called  upon  the  sage  at  Chelsea.  Carlyle  himself  opened  the  door.  He  was 
in  even  grimmer  humor  than  usual.     "  Who  are  you  ?"  he  asked. 

"I  am  George  Gilfillan,"  was  the  reply,  "and  I  have  been  giving  lectures 
on  your  books  throughout  the  country." 

"  You  have,  have  you  ?  Damn  your  impudence  !  Good-morning."  And 
the  door  was  shut  in  his  face. 

Emerson  too,  in  his  quiet  home  at  Concord,  was  besieged  by  visitors  of  all 
sorts.  "His  mind,"  says  Hawthorne,  "acted  upon  other  minds  of  a  certain 
constitution  with  wonderful  magnetism,  and  drew  many  men  upon  long  pil- 
grimages to  speak  with  him  face  to  face."  Some  were  visionaries  and  theo- 
rists, others  were  mere  curiosity-seekers.  They  pestered  him  even  in  his 
declining  years,  when  mind  and  memory  had  failed  him.  One  morning  his 
daughter  found  him  entertaining  a  strange  Boston  woman  in  his  library. 

"Ellen,"  said  the  sage,  looking  up  with  an  expression  of  hopeless  bewilder- 
ment, "  I  wish  you  would  attend  to  this  lady :  she  wants  some  of  my  clothes." 

And  then  the  visitor  volubly  explained  she  was  making  a  "poets'  rug"  on 
the  principle  of  a  crazy-quilt.  Mr.  Longfellow  had  already  given  her  an  old 
shirt.  She  wanted  a  pair  of  Emerson's  cast-off  pantaloons.  She  called  them 
pants,  by  the  way. 

Tennyson,  who  has  always  an  acute  horror  of  being  lionized,  for  many  years 
has  intrenched  himself  in  his  house  as  his  castle,  denying  himself  to  strange 
visitors.  He  has  been  obliged  to  build  a  high  wall  around  his  grounds,  with 
locked  gates.  But  these  very  methods  have  whetted  public  curiosity  to  in- 
tensity. Not  unfrequently  when  he  walks  out  he  finds  a  row  of  heads  all 
around  the  wall.  They  stare,  they  make  audible  comments  about  him.  The 
land  around  is  trampled,  the  grass  is  killed  by  the  waiting  crowd.  They 
bring  their  lunches  with  them,  and  leave  relics  behind  in  the  shape  of  dinner- 
papers,  crusts,  and  empty  bottles. 

Professor  Jowett  has  sought  equal  seclusion,  with  even  less  success.  He 
is  one  of  the  lions  of  Oxford.  That  town  is  subjected  to  constant  inroads  of 
tourists,  all  of  whom  crave  a  sight  of  the  famous  professor.  It  so  happened, 
while  he  was  engaged  on  his  translation  of  Plato,  that  a  guide  discovered  the 
professor's  study-window  looked  into  the  broad  street.  Coming  with  his 
menagerie  under  this  window,  the  guide  would  begin  :  "  This,  ladies   and 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  641 

gentlemen,  is  Balliol  College,  one  of  the  very  boldest  in  the  huniversity,  and 
famous  for  the  herudition  of  its  scholars.  The  'ead  of  Balliol  College  is  called 
the  Master.  The  present  Master  of  Balliol  is  the  celebrated  Professor  Benjamin 
Jowett,  Regius  Professor  of  Greek.  Those  are  Professor  Jowett's  study- 
windows,  and  there"  (here  the  ruffian  would  stoop  down,  take  up  a  handful 
of  gravel  and  throw  it  against  the  panes,  bringing  poor  Jowett,  livid  with  fury, 
to  the  window),  "  ladies  and  gentlemen,  is  Professor  Benjamin  Jowett  himself." 

In  one  of  his  "  Roundabout  Papers"  Thackeray  makes  a  humorous  protest 
against  the  social  miseries  that  are  entailed  upon  famous  men.  He  complains 
that  he  does  his  comic  business  with  the  greatest  pains,  seriousness,  and 
trouble.  It  is  his  profession.  Why  cannot  he  leave  that  profession  behind 
him  when  he  goes  out  into  society.''  "If  you  ask  Mr.  Blondin  to  tea,"  he 
says,  "  you  don't  have  a  rope  stretched  from  your  garret-window  to  the  oppo- 
site side  of  the  square  and  request  Monsieur  to  take  his  tea  out  on  the  centre 
of  the  rope." 

Perhaps  lions  should  take  some  concerted  action  to  do  no  roaring  in  private 
life.  Indeed,  by  a  wise  provision  of  nature,  many  of  them  are  unable  to  roar 
except  in  print.  Like  his  African  brethren,  your  literary  lion  is  a  very  tame 
animal  outside  of  his  native  jungle. 

There  is  a  familiar  story  of  Francis  Jeffrey's  first  meeting  with  Talleyrand. 
By  his  own  request  he  had  been  seated  next  to  the  famous  statesman  at 
dinner.  It  was  a  proud  moment,  and  one  from  which  he  had  hoped  to  carry 
away  imperishable  memories.  The  only  remark  that  Talleyrand  made  was, 
'^  A  propos  of  your  cock-a-leekie  soup,  M.  Jeffrey,  do  you  take  it  with  prunes 
or  without }" 

Recently  a  London  lady  was  taken  down  to  dinner  by  a  famous  actor.  She 
was  in  ecstasies.  "  I  have  met  him  at  last,"  she  thought ;  "  he  is  the  funniest 
actor  in  London,  and  he  is  going  to  talk  to  me  for  at  least  an  hour  and  a  half. 
How  lucky  I  am  !"  But  the  soup  was  disposed  of,  and  then  the  fish  and  the 
entrees,  and  still  the  funniest  man  in  London  had  not  uttered  a  word.  Sud- 
denly his  eyes  fell  on  his  wife,  who  sat  opposite.  Then  he  turned  to  his  com- 
panion. "  It  has  been  a  long  time  coming,"  she  thought,  "  but  it  has  come," 
and  she  prepared  to  receive  the  joke. 

"  Do  you  see  that  dress  on  my  wife  ?"  asked  the  comedian. 

"  Yes." 

"  Well,  it  cost  nine  pounds."    And  not  another  syllable  did  he  utter. 

Another  lady  who  was  taken  down  by  Tennyson  suffered  an  equal  disap- 
pointment, after  equal  preliminary  expectation.  The  only  utterance  which 
the  Laureate  let  fall  was  the  unpoetical  remark,  "  I  like  my  mutton  cut  in 
chunks." 

Dr.  Buckley  tells  a  story  of  how  years  ago  he  followed  Tennyson,  who  was 
with  his  wife  and  family,  through  the  South  Kensington  Museum  for  two  hours 
and  a  half,  hoping  to  hear  him  speak.  At  last  he  made  signs  as  if  he  were 
about  to  do  so.  Hoping  to  hear  some  notable  criticism,  the  doctor  listened 
intently,  and  this  is  what  he  heard : 

"  You  take  care  of  the  children,  while  I  go  and  get  some  beer." 

A  young  woman  in  Cambridge  one  day  saw  Longfellow  and  Lowell  strolling 
a  little  ahead  of  her.  She  had  often  wished  to  know  what  poets  talked  about 
when  they  were  together,  so  she  quickened  her  pace.  Just  before  she  over- 
took them  a  little  child  came  along.  That  seemed  to  give  Lowell  an  idea. 
The  young  woman  pricked  up  her  ears. 

"  What  are  little  girls  made  of?"  said  Lowell  to  Longfellow. 

The  reply  was  equally  brilliant : 

"  Sugar  and  spice  and  all  that's  nice  ; 
That  is  what  little  girls  are  made  of." 

99  54* 


642  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

It  is  a  curious,  and  from  the  point  of  view  of  the  lion  a  really  distressing, 
feature  of  the  lion-hunter's  character  that  he  cares  very  little  for  the  work  of 
his  professed  idol.  The  author  of  a  gushing  series  of  letters  to  the  Duke  of 
Wellington  which  have  recently  made  their  appearance  had  never  heard  of 
the  battle  of  Waterloo.  The  actor  finds  that  his  admirers  have  never  seen 
him  on  the  stage,  the  author  that  they  have  never  read  his  works.  A  rich 
German  recently  gave  a  dinner  in  honor  of  a  famous  poet.  After  dinner  the 
guests  begged  the  poet  to  read  some  of  his  verses.  He  agreed,  after  much 
apologetic  modesty.  But  the  host  was  now  observed  to  show  great  uneasi- 
ness.    When  a  copy  of  Herr  M 's  poems  were  called  for  he  was  obliged 

to  confess  that  he  had  not  one  in  his  house.  There  was  great  consternation 
and  much  suppressed  laughter.  But  the  host  was  equal  to  the  occasion.  He 
sent  out  and  got  a  copy,  not  at  the  bookseller's,  however,  but  at  a  circulating 
library. 

Lion  sermon,  a  sermon  preached  annually  on  October  i6,  at  St.  Cathe- 
rine Cree  Church  in  London,  commemorative  of  the  escape  of  Sir  John 
Gayer,  Lord  Mayor  of  London,  1646-47,  from  a  lion  in  the  deserts  of  Arabia. 
This  is  in  accordance  with  the  terms  of  his  will,  dated  December  19,  1648, 
leaving  a  bequest  of  two  hundred  pounds  to  the  church. 

In  perpetuation  of  an  ancient  custom  annually  celebrated  at  St.  Catherine  Cree  Church, 
in  Leadenhall  Street,  the  Rev.  W.  M.  Whittemore,  D.D.,  rector,  on  Saturday  preached  what 
is  termed  the  "  Lion"  sermon.  The  preacher,  in  the  course  of  his  remarks,  alluded  to  the 
fact  that  about  two  hundred  and  fifty  years  ago  upon  that  ver^'  day  Sir  John  Gayer,  a  citizen 
of  London,  who  afterwards  became  Lord  Mayor,  was  in  the  deserts  of  Arabia  upon  business 
which  required  his  own  personal  attention.  By  some  means  he  became  detached  from  the 
caravan,  and  while  quite  alone  and  unarmed  he  was  much  alarmed  at  seeing  a  lion  approach- 
ing him.  Scarcely  knowing  what  to  do,  he  fell  upon  his  knees  and  asked  the  Lord  to  deliver 
■  im  from  his  perilous  position.      The  lion  looked  at  him  savagely,  but  upon  seeing  hir"   '"" 


this  position,  a'fter  a  few  moments,  walked  away  in  an  opposite  direction.  The  merchant  on 
rising  from  his  knees  made  a  solemn  vow  that  upon  his  safe  return  home  he  would  commemo- 
rate this  providential  deliverance  by  some  benevolent  act.  Upon  reaching  England  he  ac- 
cordingly left  a  sum  of  money  to  provide  for  this  sermon  every  year,  in  addition  to  a  bequest 
to  the  parish  church  of  his  native  town,— Plymouth.  The  rector  further  mentioned  that  Sir 
John  Gayer,  in  consequence  of  his  loyal  attachment  to  King  Charles  L,  was  ordered  by 
Cromwell's  Parliament  to  pay  a  fine  of  /500,  a  considerable  sum  at  that  time,  and  that  in 
default  of  payment  he  was  committed  to  the  Tower.  In  the  British  Museum  might  be  seen 
a  copy  of  his  petition  to  Parliament  asking  not  for  mercy,  but  for  justice.  He  ultimately 
obtained  his  freedom,  and  soon  afterwards  died.  Considerable  interest  was  displayed  in  the 
service,  and  it  was  understood  that  some  descendants  of  Sir  John  Gayer  were  among  the 
congregation. — London  Citizen,  October  18,  1886 

Lion's  provider,  a  humble  friend  who  plays  into  the  hands  of  an  im- 
portant personage  to  show  him  to  best  advantage,  a  foil  or  butt  for  another's 
wit,  and  who  feeds  on  the  leavings.  The  simile  is  drawn  from  the  jackal, 
who  is  supposed  to  serve  the  lion  much  the  same  as  the  dog  serves  the 
sportman,  and  who  yells  to  advertise  his  lord  that  prey  is  close  at  hand. 

Lions,  Seeing  the.  Formerly  there  was  a  menagerie  in  the  Tower  of 
London  in  which  lions  were  kept;  it  was  discontinued  about  1815.  During 
these  earlier  times  of  comparative  simplicity,  when  a  stranger  visited  the  city 
for  the  first  time  he  would  of  course  be  taken  to  see  the  lions,  and  on  his  re- 
turn to  the  country  it  was  usual  to  ask  him  whether  he  had  seen  the  lions. 
This  is  the  origin  of  the  phrase.  The  transition  from  real  lions  to  figurative 
ones — i.e.,  all  remarkable  sights  or  personages — was  easy,  and  the  term  is  still 
used  in  this  sense.  Now,  however,  the  lions  are  more  frequently  understood 
to  be  the  people  who  are  supposed  to  add  lustre  and  interest  by  their  presence 
at  a  social  gathering,  from  their  position  or  accomplishments. 

In  America  the  phrase  is  "  to  see  the  elephant,"  with  a  humorous  allusion  to 
the  sometimes  sad  experience  of  sight-seeing  country-cousins  with  all  manner 
of  sharpers  who  lie  in  wait  for  them  in  the  large  cities. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  643 

Lion's  share, — i.e.,  all  or  nearly  all ;  derived  from  ^^sop's  fable  of  the 
lion,  who,  when  the  spoil  of  a  joint  hunt  of  a  number  of  beasts  was  being 
divided,  claimed  one  quarter  in  right  of  his  prerogative,  one  for  his  superior 
courage,  one  for  his  dam  and  cubs,  "  and  as  for  the  fourth,  let  who  will  dare 
dispute  it  with  me." 

Lipograms  (Gr.  Mttw,  "I  leave"),  a  form  of  literary  trifling  in  which 
the  author  carefully  excluded  from  his  composition  some  letter  or  letters  of 
the  alphabet.  A  good  story  is  told  of  Jami,  the  Persian  critic,  which  seems 
applicable  to  all  these  useless  tours  de  force.  A  certain  poet  had  read  him  a 
copy  of  verses,  but  Jami  seemed  unmoved.  "  You  will  at  least  allow  it  to  be 
curious,"  said  the  author,  slightly  nettled,  "  for  you  will  observe  that  the  letter 
A  does  not  occur  in  it  from  beginning  to  end."  To  which  Jami  replied,  "  It 
would  have  been  a  great  improvement  had  you  left  out  also  all  the  other 
letters." 

The  most  gigantic  lipograms  on  record  are  two  Greek  poems  produced  by 
a  certain  Tryphiodorus  in  those  early  centuries  of  our  era  during  which  the 
world,  or  the  greater  part  of  it,  seems  to  have  been  in  a  state  of  blue  mould 
for  want  of  work, — the  one  a  kind  of  Iliad  in  twenty-four  books,  each  ex- 
cluding absolutely  the  letter  of  the  alphabet  marking  its  own  number ;  the 
other  an  Odyssey  composed  on  the  same  principles. 

*'  It  must  have  been  very  pleasant,"  says  Addison,  in  his  "  Spectator,"  No. 
59,  "  to  have  seen  this  poet  avoiding  the  reprobate  letter  as  much  as  another 
would  a  false  quantity,  and  making  his  escape  from  it,  through  the  different 
Greek  dialects,  when  he  was  presented  with  it  in  any  particular  syllable ;  for 
the  most  apt  and  elegant  word  in  the  whole  language  was  rejected,  like  a 
diamond  with  a  flaw  in  it,  if  it  appeared  blemished  with  the  wrong  letter." 

Nevertheless,  Tryphiodorus  miglit  have  claimed  that  he  was  kept  in  coun- 
tenance by  no  meaner  precedent  than  that  of  Pindar,  who,  according  to  Athe- 
naeus,  wrote  an  ode  from  which  the  letter  Sigma  was  carefully  excluded.  And 
in  the  Middle  Ages  he  found  numerous  imitators.  There  was  Gordianus  Ful- 
gentius,  who  congratulated  himself  on  the  fact  that  he  had  produced  a 
wonderful  work, — "  De  ^tate  Mundi  et  Hominis," — and  so  it  was,  for  in  the 
chapter  on  Adam  he  excluded  the  letter  A ;  from  that  on  Abel,  the  letter  B ; 
from  that  on  Cain,  the  letter  C,  and  so  on  through  twenty-three  chapters. 
There  was  Gregorio  Leti,  who  presented  to  the  Academy  of  Humorists  at 
Rome  a  discourse  entitled  "  The  Exiled  R,"  because  the  letter  R  was  omitted 
throughout.  There  was  Lope  de  Vega,  among  whose  voluminous  works  are 
five  novels  each  of  which  avoids  some  particular  vowel.  And  to  come  down 
to  more  recent  times,  there  is  the  famous  "  Piece  sans  A,"  written  in  1816  by 
one  Ronden,  which  was  acted  at  the  Theatre  des  Varietes,  Paris.  The  public 
thronged  to  see  this  tour  de  force.  The  curtain  rose.  Duval  entered  from  one 
wing,  Mengozzi  from  the  opposite  side  of  the  stage.  The  first  words  the  latter 
uttered  were, — 

■ !  vous  voili. 


The  whole  audience  roared  with  laughter  at  this  curious  beginning  of  a 
piece  without  A.  The  laugh  gave  the  prompter  time  to  set  the  actor  right. 
He  corrected  himself  with, — 

Eh,  monsieur !  vous  voici. 

So  goes  the  story.  To  which  there  is  only  one  objection, — namely,  that 
nothing  like  the  sentence  quoted  is  to  be  found  in  the  published  piece.  To 
be  sure,  it  contains  others  very  like  it.  The  author  may  have  made  an  altera- 
tion in  proof  He  confesses,  by  the  way,  in  his  preface,  that  the  performance 
was  not  suffered  to  proceed  to  the  end. 

From  all  and  various  these  portentous  literary  trifles  we  only  pray  to  be 


Q    5 

U  34 

Y 

R  62 

V   12 

Z 

S    80 

W20 

T  90 

X    4 

644  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

delivered.  Our  citations  shall  be  taken  from  the  fugitive  pieces,  which,  though 
easier  to  make,  are  easier  to  read.  To  appreciate  them  at  their  full  value  it  is 
well  to  keep  in  mind  the  following  table  of  the  relative  proportions  in  which 
the  various  letters  of  the  alphabet  are  used  : 

A  85         E  120         I   So         M  30 

B   16         F     25        J     4         N  80 

C  30        G    17         K    8         O    80 

D  44         H    64         L  40         P    17 
It  follows,  therefore,  that  the  letter  E  must  be  the  most  nearly  indispensable 
letter  in  the  alphabet.     That  it  is  not  absolutely  indispensable  is  shown  by  the 
following,  written,  as  the  author  says,  with  ease  without  e's  : 
The  Fate  of  Nassan. 

Bold  Nassan  quits  his  caravan, 
A  hazy  mountain-grot  to  scan, 
Climbs  jaggy  rocks  to  spy  his  way, 
Doth  tax  his  sight,  but  far  doth  stray. 

Not  work  of  man,  nor  sport  of  child. 

Finds  Nassan  in  that  mazy  wild ; 

Lax  grow  his  joints,  limbs  toil  in  vain, — 

Poor  wight !  why  didst  thou  quit  that  plain  ? 

Vainly  for  succor  Nassan  calls. 

Know,  Zillah,  that  thy  Nassan  falls ; 

But  prowling  wolf  and  fox  may  joy 

To  quarry  on  thy  Arab  boy. 
Here  is  another.     But  this  example  not  merely  excludes  the  letter  E.     It 
has  a  further  and  singular  merit.     Each  stanza  contains  every  letter  of  the 
alphabet  except  E : 

A  jovial  swain  should  not  complam 
Of  any  buxom  fair, 

Who  mocks  his  pain  and  thinks  it  gain 
To  quiz  his  awkward  air. 

Quixotic  boys  who  look  for  joys 

Quixotic  hazards  run ; 
A  lass  annoys  with  trivial  toys. 

Opposing  man  for  fun. 

A  jovial  swain  may  rack  his  brain. 

And  tax  his  fancy's  might ; 
To  quiz  is  vain,  for  'tis  most  plain 
That  what  I  say  is  right. 
The  following  verses  contain  every  letter  except  S  : 
Come,  Love,  Come. 

Oh  !  come  to-night ;  for  naught  can  charm 

"The  wearj'  time  when  thou'rt  away. 
Oh  !  come  ;  the  gentle  moon  hath  thrown 

O'er  bower  and  hall  her  quivering  ray. 
The  heather-bell  hath  mildly  flung 

From  off  her  fairy  leaf  the  bright 
And  diamond  dew-drop  that  had  hung 

Upon  that  leaf— a  gem  of  light. 

Then  come,  love,  come. 

To-night  the  liquid  wave  hath  not — 

Illumined  by  the  moonlit  beam 
Playing  upon  the  lake  beneath. 

Like  frolic  in  an  autumn  dream — 
The  liquid  wave  hath  not,  to-night. 

In  all  her  moonlit  pride,  a  fair 
Gift  like  to  them  that  on  thy  lip 

Do  breathe,  and  laugh,  and  home  it  there. 
Then  come,  love,  come. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  645 

To-night  I  to-night  I  my  gentle  one. 

The  flower-bearing  Amra  tree 
Doth  long,  with  fragrant  moan,  to  meet 

The  love-lip  of  the  honey-bee. 
But  not  the  Amra  tree  can  long 

To  greet  the  bee,  at  evening  light. 
With  half  the  deep,  fond  love  I  long 

To  meet  my  Nama  here  to-night. 

Then  come,  love,  come. 

A  prose  example  is  furnished  by  Lord  Holland.  He  was  led  to  essay  it  in 
1824  by  reading  in  D'Israeli's  "  Curiosities"  an  account  of  Lope  de  Vega's 
no-vowel  novels.  It  is  a  still  more  difficult  feat  than  any  yet  recorded,  as  all 
the  vowels  save  E  are  excluded. 

Eve's  Legend. 

Men  were  never  perfect ;  yet  the  three  brethren  Veres  were  ever  esteemed,  respected, 
revered,  even  when  the  rest,  whether  the  select  few,  whether  the  mere  herd,  were  left 
neglected.  ,     ,  t^  ,        ,• 

The  eldest's  vessels  seek  the  deep,  stem  the  element,  get  pence  ;  the  keen  Peter,  when  free, 
wedded  Hester  Green, — the  slender,  stern,  severe,  erect  Hester  Green.  The  next,  clever  Ned, 
less  dependent,  wedded  sweet  Ellen  Heber.  Stephen,  ere  he  met  the  gentle  Eve,  never  felt  ten- 
derness ;  he  kept  kennels,  bred  steeds,  rested  where  the  deer  fed,  went  where  green  trees, 
where  fresh  breezes  greeted  sleep.  There  he  met  the  meek,  the  gentle  Eve;  she  tended  her 
sheep,  she  ever  neglected  self;  she  never  heeded  pelf,  yet  she  heeded  the  shepherds  even  less. 
Nevertheless,  her  cheek  reddened  when  she  met  Stephen  ;  yet  decent  reserve,  meek  respect, 
tempered  her  speech,  even  when  she  showed  tenderness.  Stephen  felt  the  sweet  effect :  he 
felt  he  erred  when  he  fled  the  sex,  yet  felt  he  defenceless  when  Eve  seemed  tender.  She,  he 
reflects,  never  deserved  neglect ;  she  never  vented  spleen ;  he  esteems  her  gentleness,  her 
endless  deserts  ;  he  reverences  her  steps  ;  he  greets  her : 

"  Tell  me  whence  these  meek,  these  gentle  sheep, — whence  the  yet  meeker,  the  gentler 
shepherdess?" 

"  Well  bred,  we  were  eke  better  fed,  ere  we  went  where  reckless  men  seek  fleeces.  There 
we  were  fleeced.  Need  then  rendered  me  shepherdess,  need  renders  me  sempstress.  See  me 
tend  the  sheep,  see  me  sew  the  wretched  .shreds.  Eve's  need  preserves  the  steers,  preserves 
the  sheep  ;  Eve's  needle  mends  her  dresses,  hems  her  sheets ;  Eve  feeds  the  geese ;  Eve  pre- 
serves the  cheese." 

Her  speech  melted  Stephen,  yet  he  nevertheless  esteems,  reveres  her.  He  bent  the  knee 
where  her  feet  pressed  the  green  ;  he  blessed,  he  begged,  he  pressed  her. 

"  Sweet,  sweet  Eve,  let  me  wed  thee  ;  be  led  where  Hester  Green,  where  Ellen  Heber, 
where  the  brethren  Vere  dwell.  Free  cheer  greets  thee  there  ;  Ellen's  glees  sweeten  the  re- 
freshment :  there  severer  Hester's  decent  reserve  checks  heedless  jests.  Be  led  there,  sweet 
Eve!" 

"  Never  !  we  well  remember  the  Seer.  We  went  where  he  dwells— we  entered  the  cell— 
we  begged  the  decree, — 

Where,  whenever,  when,  'twere  well 
Eve  be  wedded  ?     Eld  Seer,  tell. 

He  rendered  the  decree  ;  see  here  the  sentence  decreed  !"     Then  she  presented  Stephen  the 
Seer's  decree.     The  verses  were  these  : 

Ere  the  green  reed  be  red. 
Sweet  Eve,  be  never  wed; 
Ere  be  green  the  red  cheek. 
Never  wed  thee.  Eve  meek. 

The  terms  perplexed  Stephen,  yet  he  jeered  the  terms  ;  he  resented  the  senseless  credence, 
"Seers  never  err."  Then  he  repented,  knelt,  wheedled,  wept.  Eve  sees  Stephen  kneel ; 
she  relents,  yet  frets  when  she  remembers  the  Seer's  decree.  Her  dress  redeems  her.  These 
were  the  events  : 

Her  well-kempt  tresses  fell  ;  sedges,  reeds,  bedecked  them.  The  reeds  fell,  the  edges  met 
her  cheeks  ;  her  cheeks  bled.  She  presses  the  green  sedge  where  her  cheek  bleeds.  Red 
then  bedewed  the  green  reed,  the  green  reed  then  speckled  her  red  cheek.  The  red  cheek 
seems  green,  the  green  reed  seems  red.  These  were  e'en  the  terms  the  Eld  Seer  decreed 
Stephen  Vere. 

Here  endeth  the  Legend. 

An  ingenious  trifler  furnishes  Notes  and  Queries  with  the  following  series 
of  verses,  each  containing  only  one  vowel : 


646  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  Russo-Turkish  War. 

War  harms  all  ranks,  all  arts,  all  crafts  appall ; 
At  Mars'  harsh  blast,  arch,  rampart,  altar  fall ! 
Ah  !  hard  as  adamant  a  braggart  Czar 
Arms  vassal  swarms,  and  fans  a  fatal  war ! 
Rampant  at  that  bad  call,  a  Vandal  band 
Harass,  and  harm,  and  ransack  Wallach-land. 
A  Tartar  phalanx  Balkan's  scarp  hath  past. 
And  Allah's  standard  falls,  alas !  at  last. 

The  Fall  of  Eve. 

Eve,  Eden's  empress,  needs  defended  be  ; 
The  Serpent  greets  her  when  she  seeks  the  tree. 
Serene  she  sees  the  speckled  tempter  creep ; 
Gentle  he  seems,— perverted  schemer  deep, — 
Vet  endless  pretexts,  ever  fresh,  prefers. 
Perverts  her  senses,  revels  when  she  errs. 
Sneers  when  she  weeps,  regrets,  repents  she  fell. 
Then,  deep-revenged,  reseeks  the  nether  Hell ! 

The  Approach  of  Evening. 

Idling  I  sit  in  this  mild  twilight  dim. 
Whilst  birds,  in  wild  swift  vigils,  circling  skim. 
Light  winds  in  sighing  sink,  till,  rising  bright. 
Night's  Virgin  Pilgrim  swims  in  vivid  light. 

Incontrovertible  Facts. 

No  monk  too  good  to  rob,  or  cog,  or  plot. 
No  fool  so  gross  to  bolt  Scotch  collops  hot. 
From  donjon  tops  no  Oronooko  rolls. 
Logwood,  not  lotos,  floods  Oporto's  bowls. 
Troops  of  old  tosspots  oft  to  sot  consort. 
Box  tops  our  school-boys,  too,  do  flog  for  sport. 
No  cool  monsoons  blow  oft  on  Oxford  dons, 
Orthodox,  jog-trot,  book- worm  Solomons  ! 
Bold  Ostrogoths  of  ghosts  no  horror  show. 
On  London  shop-fronts  no  hop-blossoms  grow. 
To  crocks  of  gold  no  Dodo  looks  for  food. 
On  soft  cloth  footstools  no  old  fox  doth  brood. 
Long  storm-tost  sloops  forlorn  do  work  to  port. 
Rooks  do  not  roost  on  spoons,  nor  woodcocks  snort. 
Nor  dog  on  snowdrop  or  on  coltsfoot  rolls. 
Nor  common  frog  concocts  long  protocols. 

The  same  subject  continued. 

Dull  humdrum  murmurs  lull,  but  hubbub  stuns. 
LucuUus  snuffs  up  musk,  mundungus  shuns. 
Puss  purrs,  buds  burst,  bucks  butt,  luck  turns  up  trumps; 
But  full  cups,  hurtful,  spur  up  unjust  thumps. 

Litera  scripta  manet,  verbum  imbelle  perit  (L.,  "The  written  letter 
remains,  the  weak  [spoken]  word  perislies"),  a  mediaeval  Latin  phrase,  which 
Fournier  explains  as  a  mnemonic  versification  of  the  earlier  "Verba  volant, 
scripta  manent"  ("  Words  fly,  written  things  remain").  It  was  with  a  jire- 
historic  consciousness  of  the  truth  thus  emphasized  that  Job  exclaimed,  "  Oh 
that  my  words  were  now  written  !  oh  that  they  were  printed  in  a  book  !" 
(xix.  23.) 

And  what  is  writ  is  writ, — 
Would  it  were  worthier  ! 

Childe  Harold,  Canto  iv.,  Stanza  185. 

Literal  sense,  In  a.  Taking  things  too  literally  is  a  fertile  source  of 
blunders  that  are  sometimes  amusing,  sometimes  provoking,  and  sometimes 
deplorable.  We  all  remember  Colman's  poem  about  Dr.  Bolus  and  the 
patient  to  whom  he  had  prescribed  a  medicine  with  the  injunction,  "  When 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  647 

taken  to  be  well  shaken."  The  solicitous  family  shook  the  sick  man  instead 
of  the  medicine,  and  when  the  doctor  called  around  again  his  patient  was 
dead.  A  similar  story  in  actual  life  is  related  of  a  member  of  the  County 
Board  at  Crookston,  Mississippi,  a  hale  and  hearty  farmer,  who,  for  the 
first  time  in  his  life,  feeling  unaccountably  under  the  weather,  visited  the  local 
doctor  and  obtained  a  prescription.  Arriving  home,  he  found  his  wife  had 
gone  out,  so  he  concluded  to  take  the  first  dose  during  her  absence.  When 
the  good  old  lady  returned  she  was  surprised  to  find  her  husband  stark  naked 
and  standing  up  to  his  chin  in  a  rain-barrel  filled  with  water,  a  bottle  of  med- 
icine in  one  hand  and  a  teaspoon  in  the  other.  "  For  goodness'  sake,  father," 
she  cried,  "  what  are  you  about  V  "  Why,  I'm  following  the  doctor's  orders," 
said  Tim.  And  he  pointed  to  the  directions  :  "  A  teaspoonful  in  water,  every 
three  hours." 

Another  medical  story  is  more  tragic.  A  doctor,  called  in  for  the  second 
time  just  soon  enough  to  save  the  life  of  a  man  who  during  his  fits  of  in- 
toxication was  given  to  dosing  himself  with  laudanum,  felt  called  upon  to 
administer  a  round  rebuke,  and  wound  up  by  saying,  "  If  you  really  intend 
to  kill  yourself,  cut  your  throat  and  have  done  with  it."  One  night  the 
doctor's  bell  was  pulled.  Thrusting  his  head  out  of  the  window,  he  saw  the 
self-poisoner's  wife.  "He  has  done  it,  doctor,"  she  cried.  "  Done  what  ?" 
"John  has  taken  your  advice.  He  has  cut  his  throat  and  will  save  you 
further  trouble  !" 

Two  English  costermongers  claiming  proprietorship  in  one  donkey  ap- 
peared before  the  Westminster  County  Court  to  settle  their  dispute.  After 
hearing  a  part  of  the  evidence,  the  judge  said  they  had  better  settle  the  case 
out  of  court  during  the  adjournment  for  luncheon.  When  the  court  reopened 
the  defendant  told  his  Honor  it  was  all  right ;  the  donkey  was  his.  The 
judge  noticed  that  the  plaintiffs  personal  appearance  was  considerably  dam- 
aged, but  before  he  could  put  a  question  the  defendant  continued  :  "  We 
found  a  quiet  place  to  settle  it  in,  your  Honor.  I  'ad  to  be  rather  rough  on 
the  plaintiff,  but  couldn't  'elp  it ;  we  'ad  honly  an  arf-hour  to  pull  it  off  in,  and 
he  were  a  much  tougher  customer  than  I  expected."  The  explanation  was 
conclusive,  if  not  entirely  what  the  court  had  bargained  for,  and  the  donkey 
became  the  prize  of  the  victor  in  the  fight. 

That  was  a  very  literal  Scotch  subaltern  whom  Colonel  Stuart  tells  of  in 
his  "  Reminiscences  of  a  Soldier."  The  Scotchman  was  one  day  on  guard  at 
Gibraltar  with  another  officer,  who,  falling  down  a  precipice,  was  killed.  He 
made  no  mention  of  the  accident  in  his  guard-report,  leaving  the  addendum, 
"Nothing  extraordinary  since  guard-mounting,"  standing  without  qualifica- 
tion. Some  hours  after,  the  brigade-general  came  to  demand  explanation  : 
"You  say,  sir,  in  your  report,  '  Nothing  extraordinary  since  guard-mounting,' 
■when  your  brother-officer  fell  down  a  precipice  four  hundred  feet  and  was 
killed."  "  Well,  sir,"  replied  Sandy,  "  I  dinna  think  there's  anything  extraor- 
dinary in  that.  If  he  had  faun  doon  a  precipice  four  hundred  feet  high  and  no 
ben  killed,  I  should  ha  thocht  it  extraordinary,  and  pujt  it  doon  in  my  repoort." 

These  blunders  should  be  genuine  in  order  to  reach  the  higher  levels  of 
humor  :  yet  a  pretence  at  a  literal  understanding — or  misunderstanding — is  a 
favorite  form  of  jesting.  Charles  Lamb's  serious  reply  to  a  gushing  mother 
who  asked  him,  "And  now,  Mr.  Lamb,  how  do  you  like  children  ?"  "B — b — 
boiled,  madam,"  is  a  classic  instance.  Jokes  repeat  themselves,  like  history, 
and  it  was  only  the  other  day,  according  to  one  of  our  comic  papers,  that  Mr. 
Staggers,  learning  from  his  loving  spouse  that  "we  are  to  have  dear  mother 
for  "dinner,"  quickly  replied,  "All  right.     See  that  she  is  thoroughly  cooked." 

Sheridan,  reproving  his  promising  son  Tom  on  the  irregular  life  he  was 
leading,  ended  by  saying,  "  My  dear  Tom,  really  it  is  time  for  you  to  take  a 


648  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

wife."  "  With  all  my  heart,"  replied  the  dutiful  son  ;  "  whose  wife  shall  I 
take  ?"  Sydney  Smith's  jest  when  advised  by  his  doctor  to  take  a  walk 
upon  an  empty  stomach  belongs  to  the  same  class :  "  Upon  whose  ?"  he 
asked.  And  very  similar,  too,  is  Leigh  Hunt's.  A  lady  at  dessert  asked  if 
he  would  not  venture  on  an  orange.  "  Madam,"  he  replied,  "  I  should  be 
happy  to  do  so,  but  I  am  afraid  I  should  tumble  off." 

"  How  does  your  horse  answer  V  inquired  the  Duke  of  Cumberland  of 
George  Selwyn.  "  I  really  don't  know,"  George  replied :  "  I  have  never 
asked  him  a  question." 

A  council  of  ministers  having  met  on  some  important  questions,  a  noble- 
man inquired  of  Talleyrand,  "  What  has  passed  at  the  council .""'  "  Three 
hours,"  was  the  answer. 

"I  heard  an  anecdote  at  Oxford,"  says  W.  H.  Harrison  in  his  "Reminis- 
cences," "of  a  proctor  encountering  on  his  rounds  two  undergraduates  who 
were  without  their  gowns,  or  out  of  bounds,  or  out  of  hours.  He  challenged 
one:  '  Your  name  and  college?'  They  were  given.  Turning  to  the  other, 
'  And  pray,  sir  !  what  might  your  name  be  .-"  'Julius  Cassar,'  was  the  reply. 
'What,  sir,  do  you  mean  to  say  your  name  is  Julius  Cassar .'"  'Sir,  you  did 
not  ask  me  what  it  is,  but  what  it  might  be.'  " 

A  young  barrister,  intending  to  be  very  eloquent,  observed,  "Such  prin- 
ciples as  these,  my  lord,  are  written  in  the  book  of  Nature."  "  What  page, 
sir?"  said  Lord  Chief  Justice  EUenborough  ;  and  the  orator  was  silenced  for 
that  occasion  at  least. 

A  well-known  chestnut  is  that  of  the  judge  who  threatened  to  fine  a  lawyer 
for  contempt  of  court.  "  I  have  expressed  no  contempt  for  the  court,"  said 
the  lawyer  ;  "  on  the  contrary,  I  have  carefully  concealed  it." 

One  of  a  party  of  friends,  referring  to  an  exquisite  musical  composition, 
said,  "That  song  always  carries  me  away  when  I  hear  it."  "Can  anybody 
here  whistle  it  ?"  asked  Jerrold  appealingly. 

A  police-officer  met  an  organ-grinder  on  the  street  and  said, — 

"  Have  you  a  license  to  play  ?     If  not,  you  must  accompany  me." 

"With  pleasure,"  answered  the  street-musician.     "What  will  you  sing?" 

Gronow,  in  his  "  Recollections,"  tells  a  good  story.  The  Bishop  of  Exeter, 
in  the  course  of  conversation  at  a  dinner-party,  mentioned  that  many  years 
since,  while  trout-fishing,  he  lost  his  watch  and  chain,  which  he  supposed  had 
been  pulled  from  his  pocket  by  the  bough  of  a  tree.  Some  time  afterwards, 
when  staying  in  the  same  neighborhood,  he  took  a  stroll  by  the  side  of  the 
river,  and  came  to  the  secluded  spot  where  he  supposed  he  had  lost  his  valu- 
ables, and  there,  to  his  surprise  and  delight,  he  found  them  under  a  bush. 
The  anecdote,  vouched  for  by  the  word  of  a  bishop,  astonished  the  company ; 
but  this  was  changed  to  amusement  by  his  son's  inquiring  whether  the  watch, 
when  found,  was  going.  "No,"  replied  the  bishop:  "  the  wonder  was  that  it 
was  not  gone." 

Gazzam  (looking  up  from  the  newspaper).  That's  the  longest  sentence  I 
ever  heard  of. 

Mrs.  Gazzam.  What  ? 

Gazzam.   Fifty  years. 

Mrs.  Gazzam  (who  was  once  a  school-teacher).  It  isn't  a  sentence  at  all. 
It  has  no  verb. 

Taking  things  literally  is  a  frequent  method  among  the  unregenerate  of 
sliding  out  of  a  difficulty. 

"  Don't  you  see  that  sign  ?"  cries  an  irate  property-owner  to  an  amateur 
angler,  pointing  to  the  legend,  "  No  fishing  on  the  grounds." 

"  I'm  not  fishing  on  the  grounds,"  is  the  quiet  reply  :  "  I'm  fishing  in  the 
water." 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  649 

A  minister,  meeting  a  boy  with  a  long  pole  one  Sunday  morning,  stopped 
him  and  inquired,  "  I  hope  you  are  not  going  fishing  in  the  creek  on  this 
beautiful  Sabbath  morning  ?"  To  which  the  boy  answered  emphatically,  "  No, 
I'm  not."  So  the  minister  gave  him  a  nickel,  patted  him  on  the  head,  and 
passed  on.  "  Well,"  said  the  boy,  thoughtfully,  "  if  he'd  asked  me  was  I 
goin'  fishin'  in  the  mill-pond,  he'd  'a'  had  me  sure."  Which  is  only  another 
avatar,  however,  of  the  perennial  chestnut,  which  may  be  thrown  into  this 
dialogue  form  :  "  Stolen  any  chickens  lately,  'Lijah  .'"  "  No,  sah  !  I's  con- 
verted, I  is."  "  Any  turkeys  ?"  "  Golly,  sah  !  doesn't  I  tell  you  I's  been 
converted .'"  "  Any  geese  V  "  Lawd,  no  !  I's  all  done  regenerate,  I  is." 
And  then,  when  his  questioner  had  departed,  the  converted  darky  scratches 
his  head  and  remarks,  "Golly !  ef  he'd  said  ducks  he'd  'a'  had  me." 

What  a  time  there  would  be  if  the  compliments  and  invitations  of  polite 
society  were  taken  literally  !  Yet  Vivier,  the  artist,  once  undertook  to  do 
this,  in  a  spirit  of  reproof,  however,  and  not  of  ingenuous  faith.     He  used  to 

spend  his  winters  in  Paris.     One  day  he  was  invited  to  dine  with  M.  X , 

the  capitalist  and  musical  amateur.     As  he  was  taking  his  leave,  the  master 
and  mistress  of  the  house  said  to  their  agreeable  guest, — 

"  We  hope  that  we  shall  have  you  often  to  dine  with  us  :  your  plate  will 
always  be  ready." 

"  Always  ?"  queried  Vivier.  "  In  the  fashionable  sense  of  the  word,  of 
course." 

"  Not  at  all.  We  are  not  persons  of  such  hollow  politeness.  Our  home 
is  yours.  Come  and  dine  with  us  as  often  as  possible.  We  should  be  glad 
if  it  were  every  day." 

"  In  earnest .'"' 

"Certainly  ;  we  should  be  delighted." 

"  Ah,  well,  since  you  are  so  cordial  I  promise  you  I  will  do  my  best  to  be 
agreeable." 

Next  day  at  six  o'clock  Vivier  presented  himself.  "  You  see,"  said  he,  "  I 
have  taken  your  invitation  literally.     I  have  come  to  dine." 

"  Ah,  it  is  very  kind  of  you.     It  is  very  charming,"  said  his  hosts. 

The  dinner  was  very  gay  ;  and  the  artist,  on  taking  leave,  received  many 
compliments. 

The  next  day,  as  they  were  about  to  sit  down  to  the  table,  Vivier  again 
appeared. 

"  Here  I  am,  exact,  punctual,  and  faithful  to  my  promise.  But  it  is  singu- 
lar," he  continued,  fixing  a  penetrating  and  quizzical  look  upon  the  faces  of  his 
hosts, — "  it  is  singular, — you  appear  surprised.     Did  you  not  expect  me  ?" 

"  Oh,  certainly  ;  you  give  us  much  pleasure,"  said  the  Amphitryon. 

Vivier  sat  down  in  his  happiest  vein,  and  seemed  quite  unconscious  that  he 
had  all  the  burden  of  the  entertaining,  and  that  practically  the  conversation 
was  mere  monologue. 

On  the  fourth  day,  at  six  o'clock  precisely,  the  obstinate  guest  once  more 
presented  himself.  This  time  coldness  and  constraint  were  very  perceptible, 
and  Vivier  spoke  of  it. 

The  mistress  of  the  house  replied, — 

"  It  is  only  because  we  feared  you  would  not  fare  well.  We  have  so  poor  a 
dinner  to-day." 

"  I  thought  you  expected  me  ;  but  it  is  of  no  consequence.  I  am  not  dainty. 
I  wish  only  the  pleasure  of  your  society." 

He  seated  himself  with  perfect  composure,  and  ate  heartily,  then,  turning  to 
madame  with  a  complimentary  air,  he  said, — 

"  What  could  you  mean .''  This  dinner  is  splendid.  I  could  desire  nothing 
better." 

2C  55 


650  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  next  day— it  was  the  fifth— Vivier  arrived  as  usual.  The  porter  met 
him  at  the  door. 

"  Mr.  X is  not  at  home.     He  dines  out  to-day." 

"  Ah,  very  well  ;  but  I  forgot  my  great-coat  yesterday.  I  must  ask  the 
servant  for  it."     And,  darting  up  the  staircase,  he  knocked. 

The  door  was  opened.     Unexpected  apparition. 

"  Your  porter  is  a  simpleton  !"  said  Vivier,  gayly.  "  He  pretended  that  you 
had  gone  out.  I  knew  that,  he  was  mistaken.  But  what  long  faces !  What 
a  sombre  and  melancholy  air  !  Has  anything  happened  ?  Tell  me,  that  I 
may  offer  my  sympathies." 

All  dinner-time  the  witty  artist  continued  and  redoubled  his  entreaties  that 
the  supposed  misfortune  might  be  confided  to  him.  He  complained  of  their 
reserve  and  indulged  himself  in  all  sorts  of  conjectures  and  questions. 

"  Have  you  lost  money  in  speculations  t  Missed  an  inheritance  ?  Have  you 
been  wounded  in  your  fortune — in  your  ambition  ?" 

Then,  at  the  dessert,  bursting  into  a  fit  of  laughter, — 

"  I  know  what  is  the  matter,  and  what  troubles  you.  It  is  your  invitation, 
so  cordially  made  and  so  literally  accepted.  I  thought  that  I  would  make  the 
trial,  suspecting  that  you  would  not  endure  me  long.  To-day  you  shut  the 
door  against  me,  and  to-morrow,  if  I  should  return,  you  would  throw  me  out 
of  the  window !     I  wish  you  good-evening." 

And,  no  doubt,  M.  Vivier  flung  himself  out  of  the  house  with  the  idea  that 
he  had  done  something  very  fine.  But,  on  the  whole,  we  far  prefer  the  thought- 
ful courtesy  of  the  American  beggar  whose  tale  of  woe  so  touched  a  fashion- 
able lady  that  she  gave  him  her  card  with  her  address  and  bade  him  call  for 
some  clothes.  The  beggar  did  not  appear,  and  some  days  after  she  niet  him 
again.  "  Why  haven't  you  come  for  those  clothes  ?"  she  asked.  Taking  the 
card  out  with  a  deprecatory  smile,  he  answered,  "  Because,  madam,  I  note  you 
have  on  your  card  'Thursdays.'" 

Literary  Leather-Dresser,  Thomas  Dowse,  a  famous  book-hunter  of 
Cambridgeport,  Massachusetts  (i 772-1856).  He  was  a  currier  by  trade,  and 
when  he  received  from  Harvard  the  degree  of  LL.D.  the  title  was  facetiously 
translated  by  Edward  Everett  Hale  into  "  Literary  Leather-Dresser." 

Literati.  This  word  offers  a  curious  instance  of  change  of  meaning.  The 
original  literati  were  very  different  characters  from  the  men  of  letters  of  to- 
day, and  the  word,  which  now  confers  honor,  was  once  a  stigma  of  disgrace. 
Among  the  Romans  it  was  usual  to  affix  some  branding  or  ignominious  letter 
on  the  criminal  when  the  crime  was  more  than  ordinarily  infamous.  The 
culprits  so  branded  were  called  inscripti  or  stigmaiici,  or  by  the  more  equiv- 
ocal term  literati.  The  same  expression  is  likewise  adopted  in  one  of  the 
statutes  of  Henry  VHI.,  which  recites  "that  diverse  persons,  lettered,  had 
been  more  bold  to  commit  mischievous  deeds,"  etc. 

Little  church  around  the  corner,  the  Church  of  the  Transfiguration 
(Protestant  Episcopal),  in  Twenty-Ninth  Street,  New  York.  The  occurrence 
which  gave  rise  to  the  nickname  is  related  by  Dr.  Houghton,  the  rector,  thus. 
George  Holland,  a  popular  comedian,  died  December  20,  1870,  and  the 
clergyman  to  whom  Holland's  family  first  applied  declined  to  bury  him  be- 
cause the  deceased  was  an  actor.  He  directed  the  applicant  to  "  the  little 
church  around  the  corner."  Dr.  Houghton  readily  consented,  and  the  fune- 
ral services  were  conducted  in  his  church  on  December  22.  Touching  the 
incident  Dr.  Houghton  continued  : 

"  It  drew  towards  the  church,  to  which  my  life  had  been  given,  a  world  of 
kindly  tender  feelings,  and  it  opened  wide  for  personal  ministration  and  use- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  651 

fulness  such  a  door  as  few  of  you  can  imagine.  .  .  .  From  the  prison  and  tlie 
gambling-house  and  the  house  of  ill  repute  the  message  or  the  messenger 
has  hither  come  that  might  not  have  elsewhere  gone.  God's  blessing  has 
rested  upon  this  our  parish  and  church  by  reason  of  the  effort  made  to  make 
the  most  of  the  greater  opportunity  thus  offered  for  ministering  to  those  who 
had  need." 

Little  Corporal,  a  title  familiarly  given  to  Napoleon  by  the  soldiers  under 
his  command,  after  the  battle  of  Lodi  (1796),  in  admiration  of  the  personal 
bravery  displayed  by  him,  and  because  of  his  small  size  and  youthful  appear- 
ance. In  the  army  it  clung  to  him  ever  after,  and  even  when  he  had  become 
Emperor  he  was  known  by  this  affectionate  sobriquet.  Las  Cases,  the  biogra- 
pher of  Napoleon  Bonaparte,  thus  describes  the  origin  of  the  title  : 

A  singular  custom  was  established  in  the  army  of  Italy,  in  consequence  of  the  youth  of  the 
commander,  or  from  some  other  cause.  After  each  battle,  the  oldest  soldiers  used  to  hold  a 
council  and  confer  a  new  rank  on  their  young  general,  who  when  he  made  his  appearance 
in  the  camp  was  received  by  the  veterans  and  saluted  with  his  new  title.  They  made  him 
a  corporal  at  Lodi  and  a  sergeant  at  Castiglione  ;  and  hence  the  surname  of  "  le  petit 
Caporal,"  which  was  for  a  long  time  applied  to  Napoleon  by  the  soldiers.  How  subtle  is  the 
chain  which  unites  the  most  trivial  circumsiances  to  the  most  important  events !  Perhaps 
this  very  nickname  contributed  to  his  miraculous  success  on  his  return  in  1815.  While  he 
■was  haranguing  the  first  battalion,  which  he  found  it  necessary  to  address,  a  voice  from  the 
ranks  e.vclaimcd,  "  Vive  notre  petit  Caporal !  we  will  never  fight  against  him  !" 

Little  Giant,  a  sobriquet  of  Stephen  A.  Douglas,  from  his  small  stature 
associated  with  great  intellectual  strength.  In  the  Presidential  campaign  of 
i860,  when  he  was  one  of  the  two  candidates  of  the  disrupted  Democratic 
party,  campaign  clubs  were  organized,  calling  themselves  "Little  Giants," 
uniformed  after  the  manner  of  the  Republican  "  Wide-Awakes." 

Little-go,  in  Cambridge  University  slang,  a  public  examination  held  early 
in  the  course,  so  called  because  it  is  less  strict  or  less  important  in  its  con- 
sequences than  the  final  one.  At  Oxford  similar  examinations  are  called 
"smalls." 

Little  Mac,  an  army  nickname  given  affectionately  by  his  men  to  General 
George  B.  McClellan.  It  was  taken  up  and  became  a  popular  political  sobri- 
quet when  he  was  the  Democratic  candidate  for  the  Presidency  in  1864. 

Little  Rhody,  a  political  nickname  for  Rhode  Island,  the  smallest  State 
in  the  American  Union. 

Lived   and   loved,  I  have   (Ger.  "  Ich  habe   gelebt  und   geliebet"),  a 
famous  sentiment  of  Schiller's,  contained  in  the  song  which  Thekla  sings  in 
"  The  Piccolomini,"  Act  ii.,  Sc.  6.     The  context  is  as  follows  : 
Das  Herz  ist  gestorben,  die  Welt  ist  leer, 
Und  welter  giebt  sie  dem  Wunsche  nichts  mehr. 
Du  Heilige,  rufe  dein  Kind  zuriick, 
Ich  habe  genossen  das  irdische  Gliick, 
Ich  habe  gelebt  und  geliebet. 

("The  heart  is  dead,  the  world  is  empty,  there  is  nothing  further  to  wish.  O 
Holy  One,  call  back  thy  child  :  I  have  enjoyed  the  full  bliss  of  this  world,  I 
have  lived  and  loved.") 

A  somewhat  similar  sentiment  is  Byron's  : 

I  die, — but  first  I  have  possess'd. 

And,  come  what  may,  I  have  been  bless'd. 

The  Giaour,  1.  1114. 

Livery.  As  this  word  is  of  French  origin,  being  derived  from  the  verb 
livrer,  to  "  deliver,"  the  custom  of  clothing  servants  in  livery  probably  originated 
in  France.  At  the  plenary  courts,  under  the  first  two  races  of  monarchs,  the 
king  made  a  custom  of  delivering  to  his  servants  particular  clothes,  which 


652  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

were  called  "livrees,"  because  given  at  the  king's  expense.  In  like  manner 
the  nobility  and  gentry  gave  their  dependants  liveries,  and  various  colors  were 
adopted  by  different  masters  to  distinguish  one  another's  servants.  Some- 
times the  livery  consisted  only  of  a  particular  mark  or  badge.  The  term 
formerly  had  a  wider  significance,  and  denoted  both  the  food  and  clothes 
of  the  servants  and  the  meat  and  drink  that  were  served  to  guests.  Spen- 
ser gives  the  meaning  of  the  word  in  his  time  thus  :  "What  livery  is,  we,  by 
common  use  in  England,  know  well  enough, — namely,  that  is,  allowance  of 
horse-meat,  as  to  keep  horses  at  livery,  the  which  word,  I  guess,  is  derived 
from  liverittg  or  delivering  both  their  nightly  food.  So  in  great  houses  the 
livery  is  said  to  be  served  up  for  all  night,  that  is,  their  evening  allowance 
of  drink.  And  the  livery  is  also  the  upper  weed  which  a  servant-man  wear- 
eth,  so  called,  as  I  suppose,  for  that  it  was  delivered  and  taken  from  him  at 
pleasure." 

The  use  of  liveries  is  very  ancient  in  England,  being  noticed  in  some  of  the 
statutes  of  the  reign  of  Richard  II. ;  but  the  application  of  the  term  has  not 
always  been  confined  to  menials.  Chaucer,  in  the  prologue  to  the  "  Canter- 
bury Tales,"  says, — 

An  haberdasher  and  a  carpenter, 
A  webbe,  a  deyer,  and  a  tapiser. 
Were  all  yclothed  in  a  liverie 
Of  a  solemyne  and  grete  fratemitie. 

In  the  time  of  Edward  IV.  the  terms  livery  and  badge  seem  to  have  become 
synonymous.  The  badge  consisted  of  the  master's  device,  crest,  or  arms,  on 
a  separate  piece  of  cloth,  or  sometimes  it  was  made  of  silver  in  the  form  of  a 
shield,  and  worn  upon  the  left  sleeve.  These  badges  seem  at  first  to  have 
distinguished  the  servants  in  England,  for  Fynes  Moryson  (reign  of  James  I.), 
speaking  of  the  English  apparel,  says,  "The  servants  of  gentlemen  were 
wont  to  wear  blew  coates  with  their  master's  badges  of  silver  on  the  left 
sleeve,  but  now  they  most  commonly  wear  coates  guarded  with  lace,  all  the 
servants  of  one  family  wearing  the  same  livery  for  colour  and  ornament." 

The  badges  may  be  seen  in  all  old  representations  of  posts  or  messengers, 
affixed  sometimes  to  the  girdle  or  to  the  shoulder,  sometimes  to  the  hat  or 
cap.  These  figures  extend  as  far  back  as  the  thirteenth  century.  The  re- 
mains of  the  ancient  badge  are  preserved  in  England  still  in  the  dresses  of 
porters,  firemen,  and  watermen,  and  perhaps  in  the  shoulder-knots  of  foot- 
men ;  and  in  this  country,  no  doubt,  the  badges  of  porters  and  messenger-boys 
are  survivals. 

Lives.  To  hit  a  man  where  he  lives,  an  American  slang  phrase, 
meaning  to  touch  him  on  the  quick,  to  reach  his  truest  and  deepest  self.  In 
Howells's  "The  Minister's  Charge,"  Mr.  Sewell  says  of  his  protege,  Lemuel 
Barker, — 

If  I  could  only  have  reached  him  where  he  lives,  as  our  slang  says  !  But,  do  what  I  would, 
I  couldn't  find  any  common  ground  where  we  could  stand  together.  We  are  as  unlike  as  if 
we  were  of  two  different  species.  I  saw  that  everything  I  said  bewildered  him  more  and 
more;  he  couldn't  understand  me  !  Our  education  is  unchristian,  our  civilization  is  pagan. 
They  both  ought  to  bring  us  in  closer  relations  with  our  fellow-creatures,  and  they  both  only 
put  us  more  widely  apart !  Every  one  of  us  dwells  in  an  impenetrable  solitude  !  We  under- 
stand each  other  a  little  if  our  circumstances  are  similar,  but  if  they  are  different  all  our  words 
leave  us  dumb  and  unintelligible. 

The  main  idea  of  this  paragraph  has  analogues  in  the  citations  collected 
under  Isolation  [q.  v.). 

Living  dog  better  than  a  dead  lion.  A  curious  reference  to  this 
proverb  is  preserved  in  a  manuscript  in  the  archives  of  the  see  of  Ossory, 
at  fol.  66,  where  there  is  entered,  in  a  hand  of  the  latter  part  of  the  fourteenth 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  653 

century,  a  list  of  ancient  proverbs  under  the  following  heading,  in  a  queer, 
conglomerate  language  : 

Etix  soimt  les  proverbes  en  fraunceys  conferme  par  auctorite  del  Dibil. 

Chers  amys  receiuez  de  moy 
Un  beau  present  q  vo»  envoy, 
Non  pas  dor  ne  dargent 
Mais  de  bon  enseignment. 
Que  en  escriptur  ai  trove 
E  de  latin  translatee,  etc.,  etc. 

Among  them  is  the  following  : 

Meux  valt  un  chien  sein  e  fort     "1  f  melior  est 

Que  un  leoun  freid  et  mort ;           1    gj  j^    J  canis  vivus 

E  meux  valt  povert  od  bountex    f  j  leone 

Que  richeste  od  malveiste.             J  [  mortuo. 

.  The  reference  to  the  Son  of  Sirach  is  erroneous, — the  proverb  being  found 
in  Ecclesiastes  ix.  4,  It  would  be  interesting  to  know  who  was  this  Dibil  by 
whose  authority  this  list  of  proverbs  is  confirmed. 

F.  Domin.  Bannez,  in  his  defence  of  Cardinal  Cajetan  against  the  attacks 
of  Cardinal  Catharinus  and  Melchior  Canus  {Comment,  in  prim. part.  S.  Thorn., 
p.  450,  ed.  Duaci,  1614),  quotes  a  proverbialism — "Certe  potest  dici  de  istis, 
quod  de  Graecis  insultantibus  Heclori  jam  mortuo  dixit  Homerus,  quod  leoni 
mortuo  etiam  lepores  insultant" — which  is  very  like  ^Esop's  weak  and  dying 
lion  insulted  by  all  the  beasts  who  erstwhile  stood  in  mortal  dread  of  him, 
and  at  last  suffering  even  the  indignity  of  kicks  from  the  ass's  heels.  The 
reference  to  Homer,  however,  is  a  mistake.  No  such  line  occurs  in  the  Iliad. 
The  cardinal  probably  had  in  mind  the  following  verse  from  the  Greek  An- 
thology (Leipsic,  1794),  tom.  iv.  p.  112: 

'Of  (nth  'E/cropof  TiTpuaKOfiivov  'EAA^vcjv 
Ba/t/lere  vvv  /ictu  jtut/xov  kfibv  di/ia^  6m  koI  avrai 
'NcKpov  aufxa  Ieovtoq  eipvfipi^ovai  Aayuoi. 

Loafer, — originally  an  Americanism,  but  now  recognized  also  in  England, 

an  idler,  2l  flaneur,  a  tramp.     Its  etymology  is  uncertain.    But,  inasmuch  as 

the  word  was  first  used  in  the  sense  of  a  thieving  bummer,  there  is  little 
reason  for  doubt  that  it  is  a  survival  of  the  old  English  slang  haver,  to  "  steal," 
influenced  by  or  combined  with  the  Dutch  slang  loever,  or  loefer,  "  an  idle 
stroller."  This  would  give  loafer  a  New  York  origin  ;  and  all  the  ascertained 
facts  bear  out  the  ascription. 

Loan  oft  loses  both  itself  and  friend.  This  familiar  Shakespearian 
maxim  {Hamlet,  Act  i.,  Sc.  3)  was  anticipated  by  a  number  of  popular  proverbs 
which  come  down  to  us  from  an  unknown  antiquity. 

Lend  to  your  friend  and  ask  payment  of  your  exi^my.— Spanish. 

Who  lends,  recovers  not;  or  if  he  recovers,  recovers  not  all;  or  if  all,  not  much;  or  if 
much,  a  mortal  enemy.  „      .  , 

Who  ventures  to  lend  loses  money  and  friend. — Danish. 
Who  wants  an  enemy,  let  him  lend  some  mone^y.— German. 
Lend  to  one  who  will  not  repay,  and  you  will  provoke  his  dislike.— CAz««<?. 

See,  also,  Borrou^ing. 

Lobby,  The,  a  collective  name  for  the  individuals  who  frequent  the 
lobby  or  approach  to  the  halls  of  legislation  for  the  purpose  of  influencing 
legislation.  Their  activity  is  called  "  lobbying,"  which  may  mean  either  in- 
fluencing by  mere  argument  or  also  by  bribery.  There  are  "lobbyists"  who 
practise  "lobbying"  as  a  profession,  like  any  other  vocation,  and  they  are  of 
both  sexes.  "  The  Lobby"  is  sometimes  called  "  The  Third  House." 
55* 


654  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Lobster  boiled.  In  his  "  Lectures  on  the  English  Comic  Writers"  Haz- 
litt  calls  special  attention  to  the  following  lines  as  a  felicitous  example  of 
Butler's  burlesque  style : 

The  sun  had  long  since  in  the  lap 
Of  Thetis  taken  out  his  nap, 
And,  like  a  lobster  boiled,  the  mom 
From  black  to  red  began  to  turn. 

lludibras.  Part  II.,  Canto  ii.,  1.  29. 

He  is  doubtless  unaware  that  the  metaphor  of  the  lobster  is  taken  from 
Rabelais  (book  v.,  ch.  vii.), — 

Day,  peeping  in  the  east,  makes  the  sun  turn  from  black  to  red,  like  a  boiled  lobster, — 
and  the  first  two  lines  from  a  couplet  of  Sir  Arthur  Gorges  : 

As  far  as  Phoebus  first  doth  rise. 
Until  in  Thetis'  lap  he  lies. 

Local  Option,  a  plan  of  temperance  legislation,  whereby  the  right  of 
prohibiting  the  sale  of  intoxicants  within  their  bounds  is  relegated  to  the  in- 
habitants of  each  individual  town  or  other  local  division  of  a  State. 

Loco-foco,  a  nickname  formerly  applied  to  the  Democratic  party  in  the 
United  States.  It  originated  in  1835,  in  New  York,  when  a  division  had 
arisen  in  that  party  upon  the  question  of  bank  charters,  one  wing,  which 
dubbed  themselves  the  "  Anti-Monopolists"  or  "Equal  Rights''  men,  claiming 
that  these  charters  were  virtually  grants  of  monopolies  and  therefore  hostile 
to  equal  rights.  A  majority  of  the  Tammany  nominating  committee  had 
selected  Gideon  Lee,  a  "  Monopolist,"  as  a  candidate  for  Congress.  The 
nomination,  as  was  customary,  had  to  be  ratified  at  a  general  meeting  of 
Democrats  of  all  shades  of  opinion  at  Tammany  Hall.  The  Anti-Mono])olists 
determined,  if  possible,  to.obtain  control  of  this  meeting.  There  was  a  great 
crowd  in  the  hall,  the  Monopolists  entering  by  the  back  stairs  and  the  Anti- 
Monopolists  coming  up  the  front  stairs.  A  tumult  followed,  each  side  claim- 
ing the  organization  of  the  meeting,  and  while  the  uproar  was  at  its  height 
the  gas-lights  were  suddenly  turned  off.  But  the  Equal  Rights  men  were 
prepared,  having  suspected  some  such  trick,  and,  pulling  out  candles  and 
loco-foco  matches,  instantly  relighted  the  hall.  They  succeeded  in  securing 
their  own  chairman,  but  Mr.  Lee  was  elected  as  the  regular  candidate.  The 
Courier  and  Enquirer,  the  Whig  paper,  immediately  nicknamed  the  Anti- 
Monopolists  the  Loco-foco  party.  The  faction  thus  nicknamed  ultimately 
became  dominant  in  the  Democratic  party  in  the  State  of  New  York.  One 
of  their  creeds  was  that  of  quick  rotation  in  office  ;  they  believed  in  getting 
the  best  possible  services  out  of  public  officials,  by  making  the  tenures  short 
and  all  offices  elective,  thus  insuring  to  the  people  the  possibility  of  judging 
and  quickly  ridding  themselves  of  public  servants  who  should  be  found  want- 
ing. One  result  of  their  activity  was  the  making  of  the  judiciary  in  the  State 
elective,  a  practice  followed  in  many  other  States,  although  the  terms  of  office 
have  been  considerably  lengthened,  and  in  later  years  it  has  become  cus- 
tomary for  political  parties  to  permit  an  efficient  judge  to  be  re-elected  with- 
out opposition.  Another  of  the  reforms  traceable  to  the  "  Equal-Righters" 
was  the  law  removing  the  disabilities  of  married  women  from  holding  separate 
property,  in  which  also  the  other  States  rapidly  followed  the  lead  of  New 
York.  From  having  been  an  epithet  of  contempt  for  a  faction,  the  name 
Loco-foco  began  to  be  proudly  borne  as  a  distinction.  Finally  it  became 
a  designation  synonymous  with  Democrat,  being  generally  applied  to  the 
whole  party  throughout  the  country,  and  it  was  in  vogue  up  to  the  outbreak 
of  the  civil  war. 


■LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  655 

As  to  the  name  Loco-foco,  it  was  originally  given  to  a  self-lighting  cigar 
invented  by  John  Marck  in  1834,  and  was  subsequently  extended  to  lucifer 
matches. 

Locus  Poenitentiae  (L.,  "  place  for  repentance"),  colloquially,  the  license 
of  drawing  back  from  a  bargain,  which  can  be  done  before  any  act  has  been 
committed  to  confirm  it.  In  the  interview  between  Esau  and  his  father 
Isaac,  St.  Paul  says,  the  former  "  found  no  place  for  repentance,  though  he 
sought  it  carefully  with  tears"  {Hebrews  xii.  17),— />.,  no  means  whereby  Isaac 
could  break  his  bargain  with  Jacob. 

Log  Cabin  and  Hard  Cider,  a  party-cry  in  the  Harrison  campaign  of 
1840.  The  candidate  was  supposed  to  be  a  true  representative  of  the  "  plain 
people"  as  against  the  more  "  educated"  and  better  circumstanced,  an  opposi- 
tion which  was  one  of  the  features  of  the  campaign.  Harrison  was  a  plain 
farmer,  content  to  live  in  a  log  cabin  and  drink  hard  cider.  Log  cabins  were 
erected  in  many  large  towns,  and  carried  in  miniature  through  the  streets  in 
processions,  with  barrels  of  cider  as  fitting  emblems  of  the  candidate's  sup- 
posed antecedents. 

Log-rolling,  an  American  slang  expression  for  mutual  assistance  rendered 
by  persons  in  power  to  the  detriment  of  the  general  public.  The  English 
"  You  scratch  my  back  and  I'll  scratch  yours,"  and  the  Scotch  "  Caw  me, 
caw  thee,"  are  approximate  equivalents.  In  its  original  sense  log-rolling 
is  a  sort  of  mutual-help  festival  akin  to  the  quilting-bees  and  husking-bees. 
When  a  backwoodsman  cuts  down  trees  his  neighbors  help  him  to  roll  them 
away,  and  in  return  he  helps  them  with  their  trees.  The  phrase  was  first 
applied  as  a  slang  metaphor  to  politics.  A  and  B,  for  example.  Congressmen 
or  Assemblymen,  each  has  a  bill  to  pass.  Each  agrees  to  support  and  vote 
for  the  other's  bill.  They  are  log-rolling  for  each  other.  Furthermore,  neither, 
we  will  suppose,  has  any  interest  or  belief  in  either  bill,  but  wishes  to  gain  the 
help  of  the  promoters  for  some  scheme  of  his  own.  He  and  the  promoters 
are  log-rolling  for  each  other.  From  politics  the  phrase  has  passed  over  to 
literature,  and  has  almost  superseded  the  older  term  Mutual  Admiration 
Society  (q.  v.),  as  applied  to  a  clique  of  authors  who  abuse  the  confidence  of 
the  public  by  mutual  puffery  for  individual  interest.  In  1887  a  fierce  con- 
troversy raged  in  the  press  on  this  very  question,  to  which  Mr.  Andrew  Lang 
made  this  sensible  contribution  : 

Lately  we  have  heard  enough  from  people  of  "  a  delicate  morality  stap  me"  about  the 
mystery  of  Log-RoUing.  This  meaningless  term  seems  merely  to  denote  the  Puff  Mutual. 
A  man  puffs  his  friends'  or  accomplices'  books  on  the  understood  condition  that  they  shall 
puff  his.  The  people  who  do  this  belong  to  Mutual  Admiration  Societies.  They  also  com- 
bine to  denounce  books  of  persons  who  are  not  of  their  set.  This  appears  to  be  a  fair  de- 
scription of  the  vice  of  Log-Roiling.  As  one  not  unacquainted  with  the  handicraft  of  review- 
ing, I  may  humbly  remark  that  I  don't  believe  in  the  conspiracy.  I  do  not  believe  that  there 
are  three  men  in  England  so  mean  as  to  praise  a  book  for  the  purpose  of  being  praised  in  turn 
themselves.  On  the  other  hand,  it  is  perfectly  true,  and  long  may  it  be  so,  that  men  of  similar 
literary  tastes  and  knowledge  of  the  same  topics  will  drift  together  and  become  friends  in 
Apollo,  and  praise  each  other's  work  when  they  think  it  deserves  praise.  It  has  always  been 
so  and  always  will  be  so.  Virgil  and  Horace  were  members  of  a  Mutual  Admiration  Society 
of  this  kind,  and  were  reviled  by  Messrs.  Bavius  and  Maevius.  ...  It  seems  a  hard  thing  to 
me,  then,  if  one  man  of  letters  may  not  criticise  another  favorably  because  that  other  is  his 
friend.  As  a  rule,  he  does  not  admire  him  because  he  is  his  friend  ;  on  the  other  hand,  he 
sought  his  friendship  because  he  admired  him.  As  an  aged  reviewer,  I  can  say,  for  one,  that 
the  most  enthusiastic,  not  to  say  gushing,  reviews  I  have  ever  written  were  notices  of  the 
works  of  men  whom  I  had  never  seen  nor  corresponded  with,  and  who  never  wrote  a  review 
in  their  lives.  If  the  writers  became  my  friends  later,  am  I  therefore  bound  to  be  silent  when 
I  think  their  new  performances  demand  admiiation  ^.—Lon£y«an's  Magazine,  December, 
1887. 

Though  the  word  "  log-rolling"  is  new  to  literature,  the  accusation  which 


656  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

it  implies  was  met  and  faced  over  two  centuries  ago,  and  by  no  less  a  person 
than  Dryden,  in  an  address  prefixed  to  the  first  edition  of  Nat  Lee's  "  The 
Rival  Queens :" 

The  blast  of  common  censure  could  I  fear, 
Before  your  play  my  name  should  not  appear  ; 
For  'twill  be  thought,  and  with  some  color,  too, 
I  pay  the  bribe  I  first  received  from  you  : 
That  mutual  vouchers  for  our  fame  we  stand. 
To  play  the  game  into  each  other's  hand; 
And  as  cheap  pen'orths  to  ourselves  afford. 
As  Bessus  and  the  brothers  of  the  sword. 
Such  libels  private  men  may  well  endure. 
When  states  and  kings  themselves  are  not  secure  : 
For  ill  men,  conscious  of  their  inward  guilt. 
Think  the  best  actions  on  by-ends  are  built. 
And  yet  my  silence  had  not  'scaped  their  spite  : 
Then,  envy  had  not  suffered  me  to  write. 
For,  since  I  could  not  ignorance  pretend. 
Such  worth  I  must  or  envy  or  commend. 

Dryden  presents  the  alternative  very  clearly.  If  a  literary  friend  praises 
his  comrade's  work,  he  is  a  log-roller.    If  he  does  not,  he  is  dumb  with  envy. 

Look  before  you  leap,  the  modern  form  of  the  old  proverb,  which,  as 
"Look  ere  thou  leap,"  is  found  in  Tottel's  "Miscellany"  (1557)  and  in  Tus- 
ser's  "Five  Hundred  Points  of  Good  Husbandry"  (1573).  John  Trapp,  in 
his  quaint  "Commentary"  (1647),  traces  this  saying  to  St.  Bernard.  In  his 
comment  on  I.  Peter  iii.  17  he  says, — 

Try  therefore  before  ye  trust ;  look  before  ye  leap.  "  Alio  qui  saliens  antequam  videas, 
casurus  es  antequam  debeas," — i.e.,  "if  ye  look  not  before  ye  leap,  ye  will  fall  before  ye 
would. ' ' — ( Bernard. ) 

Thou  shouldst  have  looked  before  thou  hadst  leapt.— Jonson,  Chapman,  Marston: 
Eastward  Ho,  Act  v..  So.  i. 

Look  before  you  ere  you  leap. 

Butler  :  Hudibras,  Part  II.,  ch.  ii.,  1.  502. 

Looking-glass.  A  number  of  common  superstitions  have  entwined  them- 
selves around  this  article  of  furniture.  Many  of  them  are  dim  survivals  of 
the  idea  found  among  most  savage  tribes  at  a  certain  stage  of  development 
that  there  is  some  mysterious  connection  between  a  man  and  his  shadow  or 
reflection.  Universal  still  is  the  superstition  that  to  break  a  looking-glass  is 
to  tempt  misfortune, — in  some  places  death,  in  others  ill  luck  for  seven  years. 
It  adds  to  the  ill  luck  to  keep  the  broken  pieces,  yet  that  ill  luck  may  in 
various  parts  of  England  be  averted  by  breaking  two  more.  Hence  the  com- 
mon saw,  "  When  I  have  broken  three  I  have  finished."  In  America  and  in 
England  there  are  local  survivals  of  the  old  folk-belief  that  it  is  fatal  to  let  a 
baby  gaze  at  its  reflection  in  the  mirror  before  it  is  one  year  old.  The  Swedes 
have  brought  with  them  to  many  Swedish  settlements,  especially  in  Minne- 
sota and  Wisconsin,  the  native  fancy  that  a  girl  must  not  look  in  the  glass 
after  dark  by  the  aid  of  any  artificial  light,  under  pain  of  forfeiting  all  power 
over  the  other  sex.  In  rural  England  it  is  common  to  remove  the  looking- 
glass  from  the  chamber  of  death,  or  to  cover  it  over, — obviously  a  recrudes- 
cence of  the  ghost-theory  of  reflections. 

Loose-Constructionists,  in  American  national  politics,  those  who  favor 
a  liberal  interpretation  of  the  Constitution  with  regard  to  the  powers  delegated 
by  that  instrument  to  the  federal  government,  and  who  are  for  the  reading 
into  it  of  large  implied  sovereign  powers  ;  opposed  to  the  "strict  construc- 
tionists," rigid  maintainers  of  all  the  reserved  powers  of  the  individual  States. 
Neither  designation  was  ever  a  party  name  ;  but  the  "  right  of  secession"  may, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  657 

broadly  speaking,  be  deemed  a  strict-constructionist  position,  and  the  right 
to  issue  paper  money  an  implication  of  liberal  construction. 

Looting  the  Treasury.  Loot,  or  liit,  is  Hindustani  for  plunder,  robbery, 
pillage  (Wilson's  "  Glossary  of  Indian  Terms"),  and  the  whole  phrase  is  a 
product  of  the  earlier  history  of  tlie  East  India  Company,  when  looting  royal 
treasuries  was  practised  as  a  fine  art  and  in  a  magnitude  unheard  of  before. 
In  the  Political  Magazine  {or  1781  will  be  found  five  pages  of  Indian  terms, 
given,  as  there  stated,  in  order  that  its  readers  may  understand  the  debates 
in  which  Burke  made  an  early  attack  on  the  Company. 

Lord  Burleigh  Nod,  a  most  portentous  and  significant  nodding  of  the 
head.  In  his  farce  "The  Critic,  or  a  Tragedy  Rehearsed,"  Sheridan  had 
introduced  Lord  Burleigh  as  one  of  the  characters  in  the  rehearsed  tragedy. 
Burleigh  does  not  speak,  doubtless  because,  being  a  minister  of  state,  "with 
the  whole  affairs  of  the  nation  on  his  head,"  he  has  no  time  for  such  trivial- 
ities. He  is  permitted  to  come  on  the  stage,  however,  slowly  shaking  his 
head,  and  as  Mr.  Puff,  the  author  of  the  tragedy,  who  is  present  at  the  re- 
hearsal, explains,  "  By  that  shake  of  the  head  he  gave  you  to  understand 
that,  even  though  they  had  more  justice  in  their  cause  and  wisdom  in  their 
measures,  yet,  if  there  was  not  a  greater  spirit  shown  on  the  part  of  the  whole 
people,  the  country  would  at  last  fall  a  sacrifice  to  the  hostile  ambition  of  the 
Spanish  monarchy."  It  is  this  scene,  and  not  any  incident  in  his  life  or 
peculiar  personal  characteristics,  which  is  referred  to  by  English  writers, — e.g., 
"The  Provost  answered  with  another  sagacious  shake  of  the  head,  that  would 
have  done  honor  to  Lord  Burleigh."  (Sir  Walter  Scott.) 

Lord  Lonsdale's  Nine  Pins.  The  Earl  of  Lonsdale  was  so  extensive  a 
proprietor  and  patron  of  boroughs  that  he  returned  nine  members  to  every  Par- 
liament, who  were  facetiously  called  "Lord  Lonsdale's  Nine  Pins."  One  of 
the  members  thus  designated,  having  made  a  very  extravagant  speech  in  the 
House  of  Commons,  was  answered  by  Mr.  Burke  in  a  vein  of  the  happiest 
sarcasm,  which  elicited  from  the  House  loud  and  repeated  cheers.  Mr.  Fox, 
entering  the  House  just  as  Mr.  Burke  was  sitting  down,  inquired  of  Sheridan 
what  the  House  was  cheering.  "  Oh,  nothing  of  consequence,"  replied  Sheri- 
dan, "only  Burke  has  knocked  down  one  of  Lord  Lonsdale's  Nine  Pins." 

Lordly  authors.     In  his  "  Essay  on  Criticism"  Pope  happily  says, — 

What  woful  stuff  this  madrigal  would  be, 
In  some  starved  hackney  sonneteer,  or  me  ! 
But  let  a  lord  once  own  the  happy  lines, 
How  the  wit  brightens  !  how  the  style  refines  ! 

Moliere  had  previously  said  the  same  thing  : 

Tous  les  discours  sont  des  sottises 

Partant  d'un  homme  sans  eclat  : 
Ce  seraient  paroles  exquises,  _ 

Si  c'etait  un  grand  qui  parlat. 

Johnson,  speaking  of  a  titled  gentleman  who  had  turned  author,  said,  "  My 
friend  was  of  opinion  that  when  a  man  of  rank  appeared  in  that  character 
he  deserved  to  have  his  merits  handsomely  allowed."  (Usually  quoted  as 
"When  a  nobleman  writes  a  book  he  ought  to  be  encouraged.") 

Emerson  says, — 

It  adds  a  great  deal  to  the  force  of  an  opinion  to  know  that  there  is  a  man  of  force  and  like- 
lihood behind  it. 

But  Emerson  is  not  falling  into  the  vice  which  the  others  have  condemned. 
He  is  only  uttering  the  obvious  truth  that  an  opinion  carries  additional  weight 
from  the  character,  not  the  rank,  of  him  who  utters  it. 


658  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Losing  a  ship  for  a  hap'orth  of  tar.  The  phrase  is  strictly  a  refer- 
ence to  the  loss,  not  of  a  ship,  but  of  a  sheep  (pronounced  by  rustics  "ship"), 
arising  out  of  the  custom  of  marking  sheep  with  the  owner's  initials  in  hot 
tar.  To  lose  a  sheep  through  its  not  being  marked,  is  to  lose  it  for  want  of 
a  ha'pennyworth  of  tar. 

Lost  Cause,  in  American  political  history,  the  cause  of  the  Confederacy 
in  the  civil  war. 

This  titular  description  of  our  late  war,  which  has  become  so  popular  on  the  Southern  side, 
origin.-ited  with  the  present  writer.  Shortly  after  the  war  he  prepared  to  write  a  history  of  it. 
He  offered  the  work  he  designed  to  a  New  York  publisher,  who  thought  well  of  it,  but 
objected  to  the  title,  "  History  of  the  War,"  etc.  The  work  thus  entitled  might  be  con- 
founded with  some  other  inferior  memoirs  of  the  war  which  the  writer  had  already  composed, 
mere  annals, — "  First  Year  of  the  War,"  etc.  "  Could  not  some  title  be  found  more  unique 
and  captivating,  and  not  quite  so  heavy  ?"  The  writer  promised  to  think  of  such  a  title. 
The  next  day  he  presented  himself  to  the  publisher  and  said,  "  I  have  thought  of  a  name  for 
the  work  I  design  :  it  is  Tke  Lost  Cause.  You  see  the  bulk  of  the  people  in  the  South  were 
persuaded  that  we  really  contended  for  something  that  had  the  dignity  and  importance  of  a 
cause,— the  cause  of  constitutional  liberty  (though    God  only  knows  what  the  sequel  might 


The  Lost  Cause  is  an  advertisement  of  something  valuable  that  is  gone  ;  besides,  the  associa- 
tions of  the  title  are  tender  and  reverential, — there  is  a  strain  of  mourning  in  it.  How  do  you 
like  it?"  "  Excellently  well,"  replied  the  publisher  ;  "  it  is  just  the  thing."  The  title  proved 
an  instant  success,  and  has  since  become  monuniental.  The  words  "  The  Lost  Cause" 
have  been  incorporated  into  the  common  popular  language  of  the  South ;  and  the  univer- 
sality of  their  reception  implies  a  significance  that  is  itself  interesting. — E.  A.  Pollakd  : 
Appletons'  Journal. 

Lost  treasures  of  literature.  Nature  is  a  spendthrift,  undoubtedly,  but 
has  she  ever  wasted  her  energies  in  creating  a  mute  inglorious  Milton  .'  Gray 
affirms  that  she  has  ;  Carlyle  denies  it.  A  man  who  can  speak  must  speak, 
says  the  latter.  Between  two  such  authorities,  who  shall  decide .''  At  all 
events,  it  is  idle  to  waste  tears  on  what  might  have  been.  It  may  be  equally 
idle,  but  nevertheless  it  is  only  human,  to  deplore  the  loss  of  what  has  been. 
The  lost  treasures  of  literature  have  caused  a  heart-ache  to  many  a  scholar 
and  bibliomaniac.  A  large  portion  of  classic  literature  has  vanished  from  the 
sight  of  men.  The  dramatic  literature  of  Greece  was  one  of  its  greatest 
glories.  At  the  time  of  Aristophanes  it  is  estimated  that  fully  two  thousand 
dramas  had  been  produced  :  only  forty-two  have  come  down  to  us.  From 
.(Eschylus  we  have  only  seven,  out  of  a  total  of  seventy  ;  seven  also  of  Sopho- 
cles, out  of  a  hundred  or  more  ;  and  nineteen  of  Euripides,  out  of  a  possible 
ninety-two.  The  comic  writers  have  suffered  the  most,  and  of  the  greatest 
of  them,  Menander,  hardly  a  vestige  remains.  Goethe  said  that  he  would 
gladly  have  given  one-half  of  lioman  poetry  for  a  single  play  of  that  master. 
In  the  few  lines  that  have  come  down  to  us  he  recognized  the  touch  of  a 
supreme  genius. 

But  this  is  not  the  worst.  The  greatest  lyric  poetess  of  all  times  was  Sappho. 
Only  two  odes  and  a  few  fragmentary  lines  are  left  to  tantalize  us  with  a  sense 
of  our  loss.  From  Pindar  we  have  some  odes,  indeed,  but  not  the  hymns 
and  dirges  and  dithyrambs  which  the  ancient  critics  considered  his  real  mas- 
terpieces. And  where  are  the  songs  of  Alcaeus  and  Ibycus, — not  to  mention 
any  lesser  names, — songs  which  once  thrilled  the  most  cultured  nation  of 
antiquity.?  Perished  all,  perished  utterly  from  the  face  of  the  earth,  with  the 
exception  of  a  few  mutilated  stanzas.  In  Roman  literature  we  have  fared 
soinewhat  better,  but  even  here  there  are  sad  gaps.  Ennius,  the  father  of 
Roman  poetry,  Ennius,  of  whom  a  complete  copy  is  said  to  have  existed  as 
late  as  the  thirteenth  century,  survives  only  in  a  few  fragments.  Perished 
utterly,  also,  is  that  splendid  ballad  literature  which  preceded  the  historic 
age,  the  literature  whose  loss   Macaulay  sought  to  supply  in  his  "Lays  of 


LITER AR  V  CURIOSITIES. 


Ancient  Rome."  The  poets  Lucilius,  Bassus,  Ponticus,  Valgius,  Accius,  and 
Pacuvius,  the  historians  Coelius  Antipater  and  Cornelius  Sisenna,  the  orators 
Calvus  and  Hortensius  and  Cassias  Severus,  names  to  conjure  with  in  ancient 
days,  are  names  and  nothing  more  to  our  modern  ears. 

A  dozen  words  are  all  that  remain  of  the  "  Thyestes"  of  Varius,  which, 
according  to  Quintilian,  rivalled  all  the  tragedies  of  the  Greeks  ;  and  two 
lines  represent  all  the  vestige  of  Ovid's  tragedy  of  "Medea."  Livy,  himself, 
has  come  down  to  us  in  a  mutilated  state. 

Many  of  these  treasures  perished  in  the  invasions  of  the  Goths  and  Vandals, 
many  were  destroyed  by  the  ignorant  or  the  superstitious  in  the  Dark  Ages, 
many  were  consumed  by  fire  in  the  successive  incendiarisms  at  Alexandria. 
The  library  of  four  hundred  thousand  manuscripts  collected  by  the  Ptolemys 
was  burned  during  the  siege  of  Alexandria  by  Julius  Caesar.  The  famous 
library  in  the  same  city,  known  as  the  Serapeum,  which  had  been  enriched 
by  Pergamon  and  given  to  Cleopatra  by  Mark  Antony,  was  partly  burned, 
partly  dispersed,  at  the  storming  of  the  temple  of  Jupiter  by  the  Christians 
during  the  reign  of  Theodosius  the  Great.  A  new  library  sprang  up  in  Alex- 
andria, and  in  a.d.  640  was  said  to  have  contained  seven  hundred  thousand 
volumes.  That  was  the  year  in  which  the  city  was  captured  by  the  Saracens 
under  Caliph  Omar.  The  Caliph  decreed  that  "if  these  writings  of  the 
Greeks  agree  with  the  Book  of  God,  they  are  useless  and  need  not  be  pre- 
served ;  if  they  disagree,  they  ought  to  be  destroyed."  So  the  building  was 
burned  to  the  ground,  and  the  manuscripts  were  sent  to  heat  the  four  thou- 
sand public  baths.  Six  months  were  barely  sufificient,  it  is  said,  for  the  con- 
sumption of  the  precious  fuel.  It  is  only  right  to  add  that,  though  Gibbon 
accepts  this  story  in  its  entirety,  other  authorities  reject  many  of  the  details 
either  as  fabrications  or  as  gross  exaggerations. 

In  Acts  xix.  19,  St.  Luke  narrates  that,  after  the  preaching  of  Paul,  many 
of  the  Ephesians  "  which  used  curious  arts  brought  their  books  together,  and 
burned  them  before  all  men  :  and  they  counted  the  price  of  them,  and  found 
it  fifty  thousand  pieces  of  silver."  This  would  be  over  ninety  thousand 
dollars  in  our  money.  The  books  destroyed  were  probably  little  parchment 
scrolls,  containing  illustrations  of  early  heathenism,  of  devil-worship,  serpent- 
worship,  and  sun-worship,  early  astrological  and  chemical  lore,  and  symbols 
of  the  archaic  forms  of  religion,  derived  from  the  Egyptians,  the  Persians, 
and  the  Greeks.  These  scrolls  were  used  as  charms  against  all  evils,  and 
protection  especially  against  the  "evil  eye."  Their  manufacture,  as  late  as 
the  fourth  century,  formed  an  extensive  trade,  and  it  has  not  wholly  died  out 
yet,  although  now  it  has  assumed  another  form.  The  Ephesians  carried  the 
scrolls  about  their  persons,  and  when  Paul's  eloquence  convinced  them  of 
their  superstition  they  doubtless  drew  them  forth  from  beneath  their  garments 
and  cast  them  into  the  flames. 

With  heathens  burning  Christian  writings  and  Christians  retaliating  upon 
pagan  literature,  books  disappeared  rapidly  in  the  twilight  of  civilization. 
Twelve  thousand  books  printed  in  Hebrew  were  burned  at  Cremona  in  1569, 
and  at  the  capture  of  Granada  Cardinal  Ximenes  made  a  bonfire  of  five 
thousand  copies  of  the  Koran.  Frightful  losses  were  also  sustained  when 
the  great  monastic  libraries  were  plundered  in  the  time  of  the  Reformation. 
The  books  and  manuscripts  were  scattered  to  stuff  broken  windows,  clean 
boots,  and  light  fires,  or  were  sold  to  grocers  and  soap-sellers  as  wrapping- 
paper.  One  merchant,  for  forty  shillings,  bought  two  noble  libraries,  which 
supplied  him  with  paper  stock  enough  to  last  for  ten  years.  No  doubt  many 
of  the  most  precious  ancient  manuscripts  perished  in  this  way,  as  well  as 
the  works,  more  or  less  valuable,  of  mediaeval  writers.  The  great  fire  of 
London  destroyed  many  treasures  of  Elizabethan  literature.     More  of  this 


66o  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

literature  perished  through  the  selfishness  of  managers  who  would  not  allow 
their  manuscripts  to  be  printed,  and  through  the  carelessness  of  subsequent 
collectors. 

At  the  beginning  of  this  century,  the  manuscripts  of  a  number  of  famous 
plays  which  had  survived  all  these  casualties  were  destroyed  by  a  servant  of 
Warburton,  who  used  some  to  light  the  fire  and  others  to  make  into  pie-crust 
frills.  No  fewer  than  fifteen  of  Massinger's  plays  perished  in  this  wholesale 
massacre,  with  some  fifty  other  plays  of  various  authors,  including  Ford, 
Dekker,  Robert  Greene,  George  Chapman,  Cyril  Tournure,  and  Thomas 
Middleton.  Nay,  among  the  number  were  three  plays  attributed  to  Shake- 
speare,— "Duke  Humphrey,"  "  Henry  I.,"  and  "  Henry  H." 

But  one  of  the  most  lamentable  of  all  losses  is  that  of  Heyvvood's  "Lives 
of  the  Poets,"  which  has  unaccountably  disappeared.  Heywood  was  the 
familiar  friend  of  Shakespeare  and  his  great  contemporaries,  and  the  book 
would  now  be  looked  upon  as  a  priceless  storehouse  of  literary  atia. 

Of  all  Elizabethan  poets  the  greatest  sufferer  was  Spenser.  The  last  six 
books  of  his  "  Faerie  Queene"  were  said  to  have  been  lost  by  a  servant  while 
crossing  from  Ireland  to  England,  and,  although  this  statement  has  been 
doubted,  it  is  quite  certain  that  no  fewer  than  seventeen  of  his  compositions 
have  entirely  disappeared.  The  poetry  of  Abraham  Cowley  has  come  down 
to  us  intact.  But  his  poetry,  though  it  has  an  historical  interest,  is  far  in- 
ferior to  his  prose,  and  of  his  prose  only  his  essays  remain.  His  letters  were 
suffered  to  perish  by  Bishop  Sprat. 

Of  that  queen  of  epistolary  writers.  Lady  Mary  Wortley  Montagu,  only  a 
comparatively  few  letters  have  come  down  to  us.  These  few  were  preserved 
by  accident,  the  jealous  pride  or  the  carelessness  of  her  family  preventing  the 
rest  from  seeing  the  light  of  print.  Pope  was  responsible  for  the  destruction 
of  Lord  Peterborough's  Memoirs,  as  was  Tom  Moore  for  the  destruction  of 
Byron's.  In  the  first  case  we  probably  lost  more  than  in  the  latter.  Lord 
Peterborough  was  one  of  the  most  brilliant  and  versatile  men  in  English 
history.  His  career  was  a  rich  and  strange  one.  Possibly,  however,  the 
noble  lord  was  prouder  of  his  conquests  over  the  fair  sex  than  of  his  victories 
over  the  Spaniards,  and  so  Pope  may  have  been  afraid  of  the  scandals  that 
might  ensue.  Still,  it  is  hard  to  forgive  him,  and  still  harder  to  palliate  the 
share  he  took  in  the  destruction  of  the  Memoirs  of  another  distinguished 
public  man,  Sir  George  Savile,  who  had  taken  notes  of  the  conversations  of 
Charles  II.  and  reported  much  entertaining  information  about  his  great  con- 
temporaries. Nor  is  it  any  plea  in  mitigation  that  Pope,  at  the  advice  of  Lord 
Bolingbroke,  put  one  of  his  own  books  into  the  fire,  his  "Treatise  on  the 
Immortality  of  the  Soul,"  which  must  certainly  have  had  a  personal,  and 
possibly  had  a  literary,  value. 

Where  are  Mrs.  Inchbald's  Memoirs,  which  are  said  to  have  extended 
to  several  volumes,  and  for  which  the  publishers  offered  her  one  thousand 
pounds  >  And  where  is  John  Wilkes's  autobiography  ?  We  know  only  that 
he  lent  the  manuscript  to  Charles  Butler,  and  that  after  Wilkes's  death  the 
cover  of  the  book  was  found  without  any  leaves.  Another  manuscript  which 
has  unaccountably  disappeared  is  a  prose  work  by  Matthew  Prior,  called 
"  Dialogues  of  the  Dead,  in  the  Manner  of  Lucian."  It  has  been  lost  sight 
of  since  1781,  when  it  was  in  the  possession  of  the  dowager  Duchess  of  Port- 
land.    Joseph  Warton  and  D'Israeli  speak  highly  of  the  work. 

Pope  is  not  the  only  author  who  has  destroyed  his  own  works.  Samuel 
Rogers  is  known  to  have  written  and  made  away  with  a  drama,  called  "The 
Vintage  of  Burgundy,"  but  the  loss  is  scarcely  to  be  deplored.  Nor  need 
any  tears  be  shed  over  the  prose  works  of  George  Crabbe,  among  them 
several  novels  and  a  botanical  treatise,  in  spite  of  the  fact  that  his  son  ad- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  66 1 

mired  the  former  and  that  he  himself  admired  the  latter.  He  had  spent  years 
of  labor  upon  it,  but  destroyed  the  manuscript  because  a  pedantical  friend 
assured  him  that  a  scientific  treatise  of  this  nature  should  be  written  in  Latin 
and  not  in  English.  Nathaniel  Hawthorne  made  a  holocaust  of  a  number  of 
his  early  tales  which  we  can  ill  afford  to  lose,  for  even  the  despised  "  Fan- 
shawe,"  the  earliest  of  his  printed  books,  which  he  did  his  best  to  suppress, 
has  a  personal  interest  that  makes  us  rejoice  over  its  rescue  from  oblivion. 

Moliere,  it  may  not  be  generally  known,  had  almost  completed  a  translation 
of  Lucretius,  but  one  of  his  servants  whom  he  had  ordered  to  dress  his  wig 
took  some  pages  of  his  manuscript  to  make  curl-papers,  and  Moliere  in  a 
rage  threw  the  remainder  into  the  fire.  An  accident  destroyed  the  result  of 
the  labors  of  Newton's  declining  years.  He  had  left  his  manuscripts  upon 
the  table  beside  a  lighted  candle.  His  dog  Diamond,  playing  around  the 
table,  overthrew  the  candle  and  set  fire  to  the  papers.  Newton  was  more 
patient  than  Moliere  :  he  merely  shook  his  head  at  the  dog.  "Ah,  Diamond, 
Diamond,"  he  cried,  "thou  little  knowest  what  damage  thou  hast  done  !" 

A  curious  heap  of  scorched  leaves,  looking  like  a  monster  wasps'-nest,  may 
be  seen  in  a  glass  case  in  the  British  Museum.  It  is  a  relic  of  a  fire  that 
occurred  in  1731  at  Ashburnham  House,  Westminster,  and  partly  destroyed 
the  Cotton  manuscripts.  By  the  exercise  of  much  skill  a  portion  was  restored, 
though  apparently  charred  past  recognition.  The  remnants  were  carefully 
separated,  leaf  by  leaf,  soaked  in  a  chemical  solution,  and  then  pressed 
between  leaves  of  transparent  paper.  The  library  of  Dr.  Priestley  was 
burned  by  the  mob  in  the  Birmingham  riots,  and  the  celebrated  collection  of 
Lord  Mansfield,  which  contained  untold  manuscript  treasures,  was  destroyed 
in  the  same  way  in  the  Gordon  riots.  The  conflagration  of  Moscow  consumed 
many  literary  relics,  and  the  shells  of  the  German  army  in  1870  fired  the  great 
Strasburg  library,  when  many  manuscripts  and  printed  books  of  great  value 
were  destroyed,  among  others  the  earliest-printed  Bible,  and  the  records  of 
the  famous  lawsuits  between  Gutenberg,  the  first  printer,  and  his  partners, 
upon  which  depended  the  claim  of  Gutenberg  to  the  invention  of  the  art  of 
prmting. 

Even  in  the  quiet  of  a  library,  undisturbed  by  calamity,  books  of  great 
value  have  been  quietly  and  surely  destroyed  by  natural  causes.  A  broken 
pane  of  glass  in  a  cathedral  library  in  England  admitted  the  tendril  of  an  ivy 
branch,  which  grew  and  grew  until  it  attached  itself  to  a  row  of  books  worth 
hundreds  of  pounds.  Then  in  rainy  weather  it  conducted  water  as  though  it 
were  a  pipe  along  to  the  tops  of  the  books,  and  soaked  them  through  and 
through.  The  rain  coming  in  over  a  skylight  in  one  library  of  rare  books 
rotted  some  Caxtons  and  other  early  English  books,  one  of  which,  in  spite  of 
its  rotten  condition,  was  sold  for  one  thousand  dollars.  Paper  rots  under  the 
influence  of  moisture  until  it  is  reduced  to  a  white  decay,  which  crumbles  into 
powder  when  handled.  Damp  attacks  both  the  inside  and  outside  of  books. 
The  mould-spots  which  are  so  often  seen  upon  the  edges  of  leaves  and  upon 
the  sides  of  the  binding  are  seen  under  a  microscope  to  be  miniature  forests 
of  lovely  trees  covered  with  a  beautiful  white  foliage.  "They  are  upas- 
trees,"  says  a  bibliophile,  "whose  roots  are  embedded  in  the  leather  and 
destroy  its  texture." 

Disasters  by  sea  have  been  as  fatal  as  disasters  by  land.  In  the  early  part 
of  the  fifteenth  century,  Guarino  Veronese  lost  a  ship-load  of  classical  manu- 
scripts while  crossing  from  Constantinople  to  Italy.  The  unhappy  owner 
survived  the  wreck,  but  his  grief  was  so  great  that  his  hair  turned  white  in  a 
few  hours. 

When  Vincentio  Pinelli  died,  in  1600,  a  London  bookseller  purchased  his 
library, — at  that  time  the  most  celebrated  in  the  world.    It  had  been  collected 

56 


662  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

through  many  generations,  and  comprised  numerous  manuscripts,  dating  from 
the  eleventh  to  the  sixteenth  century,  and  an  extraordinary  number  of  Greek', 
Latin,  and  Italian  works,  many  of  them  first  editions.  The  bookseller  put 
them  in  three  vessels  for  transportation.  One  of  these  ships  was  captured  by 
pirates,  who  flung  the  books  overboard.  The  freight  of  the  two  vessels  which 
escaped  their  hands  was  sold  for  about  forty  thousand  dollars. 

The  sea  has  also  swallowed  up  all  the  books  and  manuscripts  which  were 
contained  in  the  churches  and  libraries  of  Constantinople  when  Mohammed 
II.  captured  that  city  in  the  fifteenth  century. 

In  the  year  1698  a  Dutch  burgomaster  named  Hudde  started  on  a  voyage 
of  discovery  through  China,  disguised  as  a  mandarin.  He  travelled  for 
thirty  years  through  the  length  and  breadth  of  the  Celestial  Empire,  and 
collected  great  literary  treasures  ;  but  the  ship  which  contained  them  foun- 
dered, and  they  were  irrecoverably  lost. 

Ignorance  has  cost  the  world  priceless  treasures  in  books  and  manuscripts. 
Just  before  the  French  Revolution  a  fine  copy  of  the  first  edition  of  the 
"Golden  Legend"  was  used  leaf  by  leaf  to  light  the  librarian's  fires.  A  copy 
of  Caxton's  "  Canterbury  Tales,"  with  wood-cuts,  worth  at  least  two  thousand 
dollars,  was  used  to  light  the  vestry  fire  of  the  French  Protestant  Church  in 
St.  Martin's  le  Grand  in  London  some  thirty  years  ago. 

The  memory  of  John  Bagford,  an  antiquarian  shoemaker,  is  held  in  deserved 
execration  by  bibliophiles.  When  the  name  of  John  Bagford  is  mentioned, 
book-lovers  hiss  through  their  teeth,  "  Biblioclast !"  and  in  that  lies  the  secret 
of  his  misdoing.  He  spent  his  life  in  collecting  materials  for  a  history  of 
printing  whicii  he  never  wrote.  His  materials  were  title-pages  which  he  tore 
out  and  mounted  with  others  in  a  book.  It  is  said  he  collected  about  twenty- 
five  thousand  title-pages  in  all.  His  collection,  in  sixty  folio  volumes,  is 
deposited  in  the  British  Museum,  a  melancholy  yet,  professionally,  an  inter- 
esting collection.  It  is  said  that  the  closing  hours  of  this  arch-mutilator 
were  embittered  because  he  had  been  unable  to  discover  and  destroy  a 
Caxton  ;  but  this  was  only  because  title-pages  were  unknown  in  England  in 
Caxton's  day. 

Was  Lady  Burton's  also,  though  in  another  way,  a  case  of  mistaken  zeal  ? 
She  is  the  widow  of  Sir  Richard  Burton,  the  translator  of  the  unexpurgated 
"Arabian  Nights"  which  raised  a  howl  of  indignation  among  strait-laced 
moralists.  On  the  completion  of  that  work  he  gave  himself  up  entirely  to 
translating  "The  Scented  Garden."  It  treated  of  a  certain  passion.  The 
day  before  his  sudden  and  unexpected  death  he  called  Lady  Burton  into  his 
room,  and  told  her  that  the  work  was  now  all  but  completed,  and  that  he 
purposed- to  set  apart  the  proceeds  as  an  annuity  for  her.  Next  day  he  was 
no  more.  When  she  came  to  look  over  his  manuscripts  she  for  the  first  time 
fully  understood  the  nature  of  "The  Scented  Garden."  A  publisher  had 
offered  her  six  thousand  pounds  for  it.  For  three  days  she  was  in  a  state  of 
torture.  Finally  she  decided  to  destroy  it.  She  has  told  the  story  herself 
in  pure  and  womanly  wise.  Two  motives  actuated  her, — a  reluctance  to  give 
anything  to  the  world  whose  effect  should  be  for  evil  rather  than  for  good, 
and  the  belief  of  a  devout  Christian  that  the  welfare  of  her  husband's  soul 
would  be  imperilled  thereby  : 

I  sat  down  on  the  floor  before  the  fire  at  dark  to  consult  my  own  heart,  my  own  head. 
How  I  wanted  a  brother  !  My  head  told  me  that  sin  is  the  only  rolling  stone  that  gathers 
moss;  that  what  a  gentleman,  a  scholar,  a  man  of  the  world  may  write  when  living,  he 
would  see  very  differently  to  what  the  poor  soul  would  see  standing  naked  before  its  God, 
with  its  good  or  evil  deeds  alone  to  answer  for,  and  their  consequences  visible  to  it  for  the 
first  moment,  rolling  on  to  the  end  of  time.      Oh  for  a  friend  on  earth  to  stop  and  check  them_ ! 


What  would  he  care  for  the  applause  of  fifteen  hundred  men  now— for  the  whole  world's 
praise— and  God  oflfeuded?    My  heart  said,  "You  can  have  six  thotisand  guineas;   your 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  663 

husband  worked  for  you,  kept  you  in  a  happy  home  with  honor  and  respect  for  thirty  years. 
How  are  you  going  lo  reward  him  ?  That  your  wretched  body  may  be  fed,  and  clothed,  and 
warmed  for  a  few  miserifble  months  or  years,  will  you  let  that  soul,  which  is  part  of  your 
soul  be  left  out  in  cold  and  darkness  till  the  end  of  time,  till  all  those  sins  which  may  have 
been  committed  on  account  of  reading  those  writings  have  been  expiated,  or  passed  away, 
perhaps  forever?     Why,  it  would  be  just  parallel  with  the  origmal  thirty  pieces  of  silver. 

I  fetched  the  manuscript  and  laid  it  on  the  ground  before  me,— two  large  volumes  worth. 
Still  my  thoughts  were,  Was  it  a  sacrilege?  It  was  his  magnum  o/«j,— his  last  work,  that 
he  was  so  proud  of,  that  was  to  have  been  finished  on  the  awful  morrow— that  never  came. 
Will  he  rise  up  in  his  grave  and  curse  me  or  bless  me  ?  The  thought  will  haunt  me  to  death 
but  Sadi  and  El  Shaykh  el  Nafzawih,  who  were  pagans,  begged  pardon  of  God  and  prayed 
not  to  be  cast  into  hell-fire  for  having  written  them,  and  implored  their  friends  to  pray  for 
them  to  the  Lord  that  he  would  have  mercy  on  them.  And  then  1  said,  "  Not  only  not  for 
six  thousand  guineas,  but  not  for  six  million  guineas,  will  I  risk  it."  Sorrowfully,  reverently, 
and  in  fear  and  trembling,  I  burnt  sheet  alter  bheet  until  the  whole  of  the  volume  was  con- 
sumed. 

Then  came  a  storm  of  criticism.  Robert  Buchanan  gave  expression  to  the 
feeling  of  scholars  when  he  wrote, — 

Lady  Burton  feared  that  the  work,  if  published,  would  cause  incalculable  mischief  and  cor- 
ruption ;  her  nature  revolted  against  it,  and  in  acting  as  she  did  she  felt  herself  a  savior  of 
society.  The  destruction  of  the  manuscript  was  vandalism  pure  and  simple,  and  vandalism 
is  vandalism  whether  perpetrated  by  a  Torquemada  or  a  John  Knox,  by  a  fanatic  or  a 
gentle  enthusiast,  by  a  pure,  high-souled  woman  or  the  public  hangman.  Excess  of  love  in 
such  a  matter  is  as  perilous  as  excess  of  hate. 

A  curious  occurrence  took  place  in  the  year  1840.  An  antiquary  bought 
some  soles  from  one  Jay,  a  fishmonger  in  Old  Hungerford  Market,  Yar- 
mouth. The  soles  were  wrapped  in  a  large  stiff  sheet  of  paper  torn  from  a 
folio  volume  which  stood  at  the  fishmonger's  elbow.  When  the  purchaser 
unwrapped  his  purchase,  his  eye  caught  the  signatures  of  Lauderdale,  Godol- 
phin,  Ashley,  and  Sunderland  on  the  large  stiff  sheet  of  paper.  The  wrapper 
was  a  sheet  of  the  victualling-charges  for  prisoners  in  the  Tower  m  the  reign 
of  James  II.  The  signatures  were  those  of  his  ministers.  The  antiquary 
went  back  at  once  to  Jay's  shop.  "That  is  good  paper  of  yours,"  he  said, 
assuming  an  air  of  indifference.  "  Yes,  but  too  stiff.  I've  got  a  lot  of  it,  too. 
I  got  it  from  Somerset  House.  They  had  ten  tons  of  waste  paper,  and  I 
offered  seven  pounds  a  ton,  which  they  took,  and  I  have  got  three  tons  of  it 
in  the  stables.  The  other  seven  they  keep  till  I  want  it."  "All  like  this.?" 
asked  the  antiquary,  his  heart  in  his  mouth.  "  Pretty  much,"  replied  Jay  ; 
"all  odds  and  ends."  Jay  obligingly  allowed  the  antiquary  to  carry  home  an 
armful  of  rubbishy  papers.  His  head  swam  as  he  looked  on  accounts  of  the 
Exchequer  Office  signed  by  Henry  VII.  and  Henry  VIII.,  wardrobe  accounts 
of  Queen  Anne,  dividend  receipts  signed  by  Pope  and  Newton,  a  treatise  on 
the  Eucharist  in  the  boyish  hand  of  Edward  VI.,  and  another  on  the  Order 
of  the  Garter  in  the  scholarly  handwriting  of  Elizabeth.  The  government  in 
selling  the  papers  to  Jay  had  disposed  of  public  documents  which  contained 
much  of  the  history  of  the  country  from  Henry  VIL  to  George  IV.  The 
antiquary  went  back  to  Jay.  Little  by  little  he  was  acquiring  the  whole  pile^ 
but  he  injudiciously  whispered  his  secret  about,  and  it  became  no  longer  a 
secret.  The  government  were  aroused  to  a  sense  of  their  loss,  and  the  public 
clamored  for  a  committee  of  inquiry.  It  was  then  found  that  the  blame  lay 
with  Lord  Monteagle,  Chancellor  of  the  Exchequer,  and  that  the  papers 
which  had  been  sold  for  seventy  pounds  were,  at  the  least,  worth  some  three 
thousand  pounds  ;  but  most  of  them  had  by  this  time  been  lost  or  mutilated, 
or  scattered  beyond  redemption. 

Love.  No  love  lost  between  them.  The  modern  acceptation  of  this 
phra.se  is  in  exact  opposition  to  its  original  meaning.  In  the  ballad  of  "The 
Babes  in  the  Wood"  the  expression  is  used  as  follows  : 


664  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

No  love  between  this  two  was  lost. 

Each  was  to  other  kind  ; 
In  love  they  lived,  in  love  they  died, 

And  left  two  babes  behind. 

It  would  appear  that  Richardson  lived  in  the  transition  period  when  the 
phrase  was  altering  its  meaning,  for  he  uses  it  in  both  senses  in  "  Clarissa 
Harlowe  :" 

I  kissed  her,  and  so  it  is  for  me,  my  sweet  cousin,  that  you  shed  tears  ?  There  never  was 
love  lost  between  us;  but,  tell  me,  what  is  designed  to  be  done  with  me,  that  I  have  this 
kind  instance  of  your  compassion  for  me  ? — Vol.  ii.  p.  217  (edition  of  1811). 

He  must  needs  say  there  was  no  love  lost  between  some  of  my  family. — Vol.  iii.  p.  150. 

Love,  All  for,  a  phrase  which  seems  to  have  been  first  used  as  the  title 
of  a  play  by  Dryden,  its  meaning  being  emphasized  by  the  sub-title,  "  or  the 
World  Well  Lost."     Here  is  a  specimen  verse  : 
Give,  you  gods ! 
Give  to  your  boy,  your  Csesar, 
The  rattle  of  a  globe  to  play  withal. 
This  gewgaw  world,  and  put  him  cheaply  off; 
I'll  not  be  pleased  with  less  than  Cleopatra. 

Act  ii. 

Southey,  in  his  ballad  "All  for  Love,  or  a  Sinner  Well  Saved"  (1829),  has 
these  lines : 

And  when  my  own  Mark  Antony 

Against  young  Csesar  strove. 
And  Rome's  whole  world  was  set  in  arms. 
The  cause  was  all  for  love. 
Dibdin,  in  "  Captain  Wattle  and  Miss  Roe,"  has  the  same  phrase  in  a  less 
dignified  connection  : 

Did  you  ever  hear  tell  of  Captain  Wattle? 
He  was  all  for  love  and  a  little  for  the  bottle. 

Love  at  first  sight.  Marlowe,  in  "  Hero  and  Leander,"  and  Shakespeare, 
in  "  As  You  Like  It,"  ask  in  precisely  the  same  language  the  question, — 

Who  ever  loved  that  loved  not  at  first  sight? 

— a  question  that  is  only  a  question  in  form,  and  carries  with  it  the  answer 
formally  made  by  George  Chapman  : 

None  ever  loved  but  at  first  sight  they  loved. 

The  Blind  Beggar  of  A  lexandria. 

In  the  fifth  act  of  "  As  You  Like  It,"  Sc.  2,  Rosalind  describes  to  Orlando 
how  Oliver  and  Celia  had  fallen  in  love  at  first  sight  : 

Your  brother  and  my  sister  no  sooner  met  but  they  looked;  no  sooner  looked  but  they 
loved  ;  no  sooner  loved  but  they  sighed  ;  no  sooner  sighed  but  they  asked  one  another  the 
reason  ;  no  sooner  knew  the  reason  but  they  sought  the  remedy  ;  and  in  these  degrees  have 
they  made  a  pair  of  stairs  to  marriage  which  they  will  climb  incontinent,  or  else  be  inconti- 
i»ent  before  marriage;  they  are  in  the  very  wrath  of  love  and  they  will  together ;  clubs  can- 
not part  them. 

And  as  for  this  romance  of  love,  this  fine  picture  of  Jenny  and  Jessamy  falling  in  love  at 
first  sight,  billing  and  cooing  in  an  arbor,  and  retiring  to  a  cottage  afterwards  to  go  on  coo- 
ing and  billing — Psha !  what  folly  is  this!  It  is  good  for  romances,  and  for  Misses  to  sigh 
about ;  but  any  man  who  walks  through  the  world  with  his  eyes  open  knows  how  senseless 
is  all  this  rubbish.  I  don't  say  that  a  young  man  and  woman  are  not  to  meet,  and  to  fall  in 
love  that  instant,  and  to  marry  that  day  year,  and  love  each  other  till  they  are  a  hundred,— 
that  is  the  supreme  lot,— but  that  is  the  lot  which  the  gods  only  grant  to  Baucis  and  Phile- 
mon, and  a  very,  very  few  besides.— Thackeray  :    Vanity  Fair. 

The  love-in-a-cottage  fallacy  is  thus  laughed  at  by  N.  P.  Willis : 

Your  love  in  a  cottage  is  hungry, 

Your  vine  is  a  nest  for  flies, 
Your  milkmaid  shocks  the  graces, 

And  simplicity  talks  of  pies  ! 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  665 

You  lie  down  to  your  shady  slumber. 

And  wake  with  a  bug  in  your  ear, 
And  your  damsel  that  walks  in  the  morning 

Is  shod  like  a  mountaineer. 

Love  in  a  Cottage. 

Love  free  as  air.     Pope,  in  his  "  Eloisa  to  Abelard,"  1.  75,  says, — 

Love,  free  as  air,  at  sight  of  human  ties. 
Spreads  his  light  wings,  and  in  a  moment  flies. 

Butler  has  the  same  idea  : 

Love  that's  too  generous  t'  abide 
To  be  against  its  nature  tied  ; 
For  where  'tis  of  itself  inclined. 
It  breaks  out  when  it  is  confined ; 
And  like  the  soul  its  harborer. 
Debarred  the  freedom  of  the  air, 
Disdains  against  its  will  to  stay. 
But  struggles  out  and  flies  away  ; 

and  Spenser : 

Ne  may  love  ben  compel'd  by  maistery  ; 

For  soone  as  maistery  comes,  sweet  Love  anone 

Taketh  his  nimble  wings,  and  farewell,  away  is  gone. 

Faerie  Queene,  Book  iii..  Canto  i..  Stanza  2. 

But  Spenser  has  boldly  plagiarized  from  Chaucer  : 

Love  will  not  ben  constreyned  by  maystre  ; 
Whan  maystre  cometh,  the  god  of  love  anon 
Beteth  his  wings,  and  farewel,  he  is  gone. 

The  Franklins  Tale. 

Love  is  blind,  a  proverb  dating  back  to  the  blindfolded  Amor  of  Rome, 
and  signifying  not  only  that  love  sees  no  defects  in  the  beloved  object,  but  is 
oblivious  to  surroundings  and  careless  of  consequences.      A  Spanish  saw 
runs,  "  People  in  love  think  that  other  people's  eyes  are  out." 
Love  looks  not  with  the  eyes,  but  with  the  mind ; 
And  therefore  is  winged  Cupid  painted  blind. 

Shakespeare  :  Midsummer  Night's  Dream,  Act  i.,  Sc.  2. 

But  love  is  blind,  and  lovers  cannot  see 
The  pretty  follies  that  themselves  commit. 

Merchatit  of  Venice,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  6. 

Some  cynical  Frenchman  has  said  that  there  are  two  parties  to  a  love-transaction,— the 
one  who  loves  and  the  other  who  condescends  to  be  so  treated.  Perhaps  the  love  is  occa- 
sionally on  the  man's  side  ;  perhaps  on  the  lady's.  Perhaps  some  infatuated  swain  has  ere 
this  mistaken  insensibility  for  modesty,  dulness  for  maiden  reserve,  mere  vacuity  for  sweet 
bashfulness,  and  a  goose,  in  a  word,  for  a  swan.  Perhaps  some  beloved  female  subscriber 
has  arrayed  an  ass  in  the  splendor  and  glory  of  her  imagination  ;  admired  his  dulness  as 
manly  simplicity  ;  worshipped  his  selfishness  as  manly  superiority  ;  Ueated  his  stupidity  as 
majestic  gravity.— Thackeray  :    Vanity  Fair. 

Per  contra,  "  Faults  are  thick  where  love  is  thin,"  say  the  Welsh,  a  proverb 
echoed  in  the  English  "  Where  love  fails  we  espy  all  faults." 
Love  is  not  only  blind,  it  is  insane. 

The  lunatic,  the  lover,  and  the  poet 
Are  of  imagination  all  compact. 

Shakespeare. 

"Aimer  et  savoir  n'ont  meme  manoir,"  says  an  old  French  proverb, 
"To  love  and  to  be  wise  is  impossible,"  says  the  Spanish,  "  No  folly  to  being 
in  love,"  echoes  the  Welsh.  But  Calderon  explains  that  lovers  only  seem  mad 
to  those  who  have  never  loved  : 

He  who  far  oflT  beholds  another  dancing, 

Even  one  who  dances  best,  and  all  the  time 

Hears  not  the  music  that  he  dances  to. 

Thinks  him  a  madman,  apprehending  not 

The  law  which  moves  his  else  eccentric  action; 

56* 


666  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

So  he  that's  in  himself  insensible 

Of  love's  sweet  influence,  misjudges  him 

Who  moves  according  to  love's  melody  ; 

And  knowing  not  that  all  these  sighs  and  tears. 

Ejaculations  and  impatiences, 

Are  necessary  changes  of  a  measure 

Which  ihe  divine  musician  plays,  may  call 

The  lover  crazy,  which  he  would  not  do 

Did  he  within  his  own  heart  hear  the  tune 

Played  by  the  great  musician  of  the  world. 

Love  me,  love  my  dog,  an  old  saw  found  in  exactly  this  form  in  Hey- 
wood's  "  Proverbs,"  but  long  before  Heywood's  time  quoted  by  St.  Bernard 
(1091-I153)  as  a  proverb  common  among  the  vulgar  :  "  Dicitur  certo  vulgari 
quodam  proverbio  :  Qui  me  amat,  amat  et  canem  meum."  (/«  Festo  S.  Mi- 
chadis,  Sermo  Pritnus,  sect,  iii.,  p.  1026,  vol.  i.,  Parisiis,  1719,  fol.) 

Love  sought  and  unsought.  In  "Twelfth  Night,"  Act  iii.,  So.  I, 
Olivia  says  to  the  disguised  Viola, — 

Love  sought  is  good,  but  given  unsought  is  better. 

Love  is  sweet 
Given  or  returned.     Common  as  light  is  love. 
And  its  familiar  voice  wearies  not  ever; 
They  who  inspire  it  most  are  fortunate, 
As  1  am  now  ;  but  those  who  feel  it  most 
Are  happier  still. — Shelley  :  Prometheus  Unbound. 
It  makes  us  proud  when  our  love  of  a  mistress  is  returned ;  it  ought  to  make  us  prouder 
still  when  we  can  love  her  for  herself  alone,  without  the  aid  of  any  such  selfish  reflection. 
This  is  the  religion  of  love. — Hazlitt  :  CharacteriUics. 

Love  to  hatred  turned.  "William  Congreve,  in  "The  Mourning  Bride," 
Act  iii.,  Sc.  8,  has  the  familiar  lines, — 

Heaven  has  no  rage  like  love  to  hatred  turned. 
Nor  hell  a  fury  like  a  woman  scorned. 

The  last  line  is  taken  from  Colley  Gibber  : 

We  shall  find  no  fiend  in  hell  can  match  the  fury  of  a  disappointed  woman,— scorned, 
slighted,  dismissed  without  a  parting  y^s.-n%.—Love' s  Last  Shi/t,  Act  iv. 

Alas  !  they  had  been  friends  in  youth  ; 

But  whispering  tongues  can  poison  truth. 

And  constancy  lives  in  realms  above. 

And  life  is  thorny,  and  youth  is  vain. 

And  to  be  wroth  with  one  we  love 

Doth  work  like  madness  in  the  brain. 

They  parted — ne'er  to  meet  again  ! 

But  never  either  found  another 

To  free  the  hollow  heart  from  paining. 

They  stood  aloof,  the  scars  remaining, — 

Like  cliffs  which  had  been  rent  asunder : 

A  dreary  sea  now  flows  between. 

Christabel,  Part  IL 

Now,  where  the  swift  Rhone  cleaves  his  way  between 
Heights  which  appear  as  lovers  who  have  parted 
In  hate,  whose  mining  depths  so  intervene 
That  they  can  meet  no  more,  though  broken-hearted  ; 
Though  in  their  souls,  which  thus  each  other  thwarted. 
Love  was  the  very  root  of  the  fond  rage 
Which  blighted  their  life's  bluom,  and  then  departed  : 
Itself  expired,  but  leaving  them  an  age 
Of  years  all  winters, — war  within  themselves  to  wage. 

Chitde  Harold,  Canto  iii..  Stanza  94. 

Yet  lovers'  quarrels  have  from  a  very  early  period  been  looked  upon  as 
very  trivial  matters  and  easily  patched  up  : 

The  anger  of  lovers  renews  the  strength  of  love. — Publius  Svrus  :  Maxim  24. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  667 

Amantium  ira  amoris  integratiost  ("  The  quarrels  of  lovers  are  the  renewal  of  love"). — 
Terence:  Andria,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  5. 

Let  the  falling  out  of  friends  be  a  renewing  of  affection. — Lyly  :  Euphues. 

The  falling  out  of  lovers  is  the  renewing  of  love. — Burton:  Anatomy  0/  Melancholy, 
Part  III.,  sec.  2. 

Love,  To  make.  This  phrase  seems  to  have  come  into  fashion  in  the 
early  Elizabethan  period,  as  indicated  by  the  extract, — 

If  you  meane  either  to  make  an  Arte  or  an  Occupation  of  Loue,  I  doubt  not  but  you  shal 
finde  worke  in  the  Court  sufficient :  but  you  shal  not  know  the  lengthe  of  my  foote,  vntill  by 
your  cunning  you  get  commendation.  A  Phrase  now  there  is  which  belongeth  to  your  shop 
boorde,  that  is,  to  make  loue,  and  when  I  shall  heare  of  what  fashion  it  is  made,  if  I  like  the 
pattorn,  you  shall  cut  me  a  partlet :  so  as  you  cut  not  with  a  paire  of  left-handed  sheares. — 
Lyly  :  Euphues  and  his  England  (1581). 

Loved  and  lost.  No  stanza  of  Tennyson's  "  In  Memoriam"  is  better 
known  than  stanza  xxvii.  : 

I  hold  it  true,  whate'er  befall ; 
I  feel  it,  when  I  sorrow  most ; 
'Tis  better  to  have  loved  and  lost 
Than  never  to  have  loved  at  all. 

The  thought  is  one  that  finds  many  parallels  in  literature,  ancient  and 
modern.     A  few  examples  are  subjoined  : 

Magis  gauderes  quod  habueras  [amicum],  quam  moereres  quod  amiseras  ("  Rejoice  more 
greatly  over  the  fact  that  you  have  a  friend  than  sorrow  because  he  dies"). — Seneca  :  Epistle 
CXIX. 

Better  to  love  amiss  than  nothing  to  have  loved. 

Crabbe  :   Tale  XIV.  :   The  Struggles  of  Conscience. 

Methinks  it  is  better  that  I  should  have  pined  away  seven  of  my  goldenest  years,  when  I 
■was  thrall  to  the  fair  hair  and  fairer  eyes  of  Alice  W n,  than  that  so  passionate  a  love- 
venture  should  be  lost. — Lamb  ;  Essays  of  Elia  :  New  Year's  Eve. 
He  who  for  love  hath  undergone 

The  worst  that  can  befall 
Is  happier  thousandfold  than  one 
Who  never  loved  at  all. 

Lord-  Houghton. 

It  is  better  to  love  wisely,  no  doubt ;  but  to  love  foolishly  is  better  than  not  to  be  able  to 
love  at  all. — Thackeray:  Pendennis,  vol.  i.  ch.  vi. 

As  the  gambler  said  of  his  dice,  to  love  and  win  is  the  best  thing,  to  love  and  lose  is  the 
next  best. — Hid.,  vol.  ii.  ch.  i. 

Lord  Lytton  carries  the  thought  a  step  further  when  he  says,  in  "  Ernest 
Maltravers," — 

There  is  in  the  affections  themselves  so  much  to  purify  and  exalt,  that  even  an  erring 
love, — conceived  without  a  cold  design, — and  (when  its  nature  is  fully  understood)  wrestled 
against  with  a  noble  spirit,  leaves  the  heart  more  tolerant  and  tender,  and  the  mind  more 
settled  and  enlarged. 

Luce  ex  lucelluin,  the  motto  adopted  by  Mr.  Lowe,  Chancellor  of  the 
Exchequer,  in  April,  1871,  for  his  proposed  match-box  stamp.  The  stamp 
had  been  designed  and  the  whole  necessary  apparatus  for  carrying  the  law 
into  effect  prepared,  wlien  the  measure  imposing  the  tax  was  abandoned,  to 
the  universal  merriment  of  the  press.  The  motto  especially  was  riddled  by 
the  shafts  of  ridicule.  It  was  suggested,  by  way  of  solace  to  the  Chancellor 
of  the  Exchequer's  wounded  feelings,  that  he  should  levy  a  tax  upon  photo- 
graphs, and  adopt  the  motto,  "Ex  sole  solatium."  The  Chancellor's  motto, 
however,  is  at  most  a  re-invented  one,  and  made  its  first  appearance  in  con- 
nection with  a  satire  on  the  long-discarded  window  tax. 

Lucus  a  non  lucendo,  a  Latin  locution  which  might  be  roughly  Eng- 
lished "It  is,  because  it  isn't."  Literally,  it  would  mean  "A  grove  because 
it  does  not  shine," — which  calls  for  an  explanation.    The  grammarian  Servius, 


668  HAXDY-BOOK  OF 

in  a  fit  of  fine  philological  frenzy,  derived  huus,  a  "grove,"  from  liuere,  to 
"shine,"  because  a  grove  is  dark  and  gloomy  and  does  not  shine.  The  ety- 
mology became  famous.  It  was  received  rapturously  by  some,  derisively  by 
most.  Many  parallel  etymologies  were  suggested.  Thus,  Indus,  "a  school," 
was  imagined  to  come  from  hidere,  to  "  play," — a  7ion  ludere,  because  no  play 
was  allowed  in  it ;  bellitm,  "  war,"  a  nulla  ;v  bella,  because  it  has  nothing 
pleasing  in  it.  Varro  seems  seriously  inclined  to  derive  caluni,  "heaven," 
from  celare,  to  "  conceal,"  because  it  is  open.  The  phrase  is  now  applied  to 
any  absurd  non  sequitur  or  contradiction  in  terms. 

Yet,  though  Servius  was  doubtless  wrong  in  this  special  instance,  he  was 
not  wrong  in  principle.  All  grammarians  recognize  the  rhetorical  figure 
antiphrasis,  by  which  words  are  used  in  a  sense  directly  opposite  to  their 
original  meaning.  Thus,  the  Greeks  called  the  Furies  the  Eumenides,  the 
benign  ones,  instead  of  by  their  real  name,  Erinnyes.  And  in  etymology  the 
same  principle  turns  belle  dame,  a  beautiful  woman,  into  beldame,  a  hag.  Nay, 
some  authorities  even  insist  that  in  this  special  instance  Servius  was  right. 
The  luius,  they  explain,  was  a  dark  gloomy  grove,  sacred  to  some  deity  in 
whose  honor  mysterious  and  often  obscene  riles  were  performed.  Hence  it 
was  called  by  a  name  euphemistic  but  wholly  inappropriate, — a  dark  place 
being  designated  by  a  term  signifying  light. 

This  article  ["  Ranke's  History  of  the  Popes,"  by  Macaulay]  is  called  a  review,— possibly 
because  it  is  anything  else,— as  liiciis  is  lucus  a  non  lucendo.  In  fact,  it  is  nothing  more  than  a 
beautifully  written  treatise  on  the  main  theme  of  Ranke  himself;  the  whole  matter  of  the 
treatise  being  deduced  from  the  history. — E.  A.  Poe. 

Imagine  Lindsay  at  the  bar, 

He's  much  the  same  his  brethren  are ; 

Well  taught  by  practice  to  imbibe 

The  fundamentals  of  his  tribe  ; 

And  in  his  client's  just  defence 

Must  deviate  oft  from  common  sense. 

And  make  his  ignorance  discerned 

To  get  the  name  of  counsel  learned 

(As  lucus  comes  from  non  lucendo). 

And  wisely  do  as  other  men  do  : 

But  shift  him  to  a  better  scene 

Among  his  crew  of  rogues  in  grain. 

Swift  :  Answer  to  an  Epigram  by  Mr.  Lindsay. 

Luxuries  and  necessaries.  Holmes,  in  his  "  Autocrat  of  the  Breakfast- 
Table,"  refers  enthusiastically  to  "  that  glorious  Epicurean  paradox  uttered  by 
my  friend  the  historian  in  one  of  his  flashing  moments  :  'Give  us  the  luxu- 
ries of  life,  and  we  will  dispense  with  its  necessaries.'"  The  historian  was 
John  Lothrop  Motley.  But,  after  all,  the  phrase  was  a  reminiscence,  and  not 
an  inspiration.  It  is  the  old  saying  of  Scopas  of  Thessaly,  quoted  by  Plu- 
tarch in  his  "  Love  of  Wealth  :"  "  We  rich  men  count  our  felicity  and  happi- 
ness to  lie  in  these  superfluities,  and  not  in  those  necessary  things."  And 
Voltaire,  in  "  Le  Mondain,"  has  substantially  the  same  thought :  "  Le  superflu, 
chose  tres  necessaire"  ("  The  superfluous,  a  very  necessary  thing"). 

Luxury  of  ■woe.  Thomas  Moore  in  one  of  his  anacreontics  has  the 
lines, — 

Weep  on,  and  as  thy  sorrows  flow, 

I'll  taste  the  luxury  of  woe. 

He  cannot  be  said  to  have  been  the  originator  of  the  phrase.  William 
Mason  uses  a  very  similar  expression, — 

There  is  a  solemn  luxury  in  grief, 

The  English  Garden  (1772-82),— 

and  J.  H.  Scott,  in  "The  Perils  of  Poetry,  an  Epistle  to  a  Friend"  (1766),  has 
the  very  words  :  he  is  speaking  of  Otway  (p.  23),  and  says, — 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES  669 

And  oh,  be  mine,  when  evening  shades  prevail, 
Pensive  to  listen  to  his  tragic  tale. 
And  feed  my  soul  (as  tears  spontaneous  flow) 
On  all  the  poignant  luxury  of  woe. 

What  may  have  been  the  prototype  of  all  is  to  be  found  probably  in  Ovid's 

Est  quaedam  flere  voluptas. 

Tristia,  IV.  iii.  37. 

Lying  by  the  "wall,  a  phrase  which  seems  to  be  local  to  East  Anglia, 
with  the  import  that  one  is  dead  but  not  yet  buried.  The  exact  phrase  in  the 
mouth  of  a  Suffolk  peasant  would  be,  "  He  lay  by  the  walls,"  and  it  has  been 
suggested  that  the  expression  is  a  corrupted  form  of  one  in  which  occurred 
the  Anglo-Saxon  word  wael,  "death"  (genitive  waeles),  so  meaning,  "He  is 
laid  low  by  death."  The  earliest  instance  known  of  the  occurrence  of  the 
phrase  is, — 

Thar  was  sorwe,  wo  so  it  sawe, 

Hwan  the  children  bith'  ttiawe 

Leyen,  and  sprauleden  in  the  blod. 

Romance  o/Havelock,  v.  473. 

In  a  ballad  of  the  fourteenth  century,  printed  by  Ritson  in  his  "  Ancient 
Songs"  (p.  46),  the  same  expression  is  met  with  : 

Whan  that  ur  life  his  leve  hath  lauht, 
Ur  bodi  lith  bounden  hi  the  woiue, 
Ur  richesses  alle  from  us  ben  raft. 
In  clottes  colde  ur  cors  is  throwe. 

The  Dutch  phrase  "aan  de  laager  wal  zyn"  ("to  be  brought  to  a  low  ebb") 
seems  to  be  somewhat  akin,  and  is  possibly  the  original  of  "going  to  the  wall," 
unless  the  latter  is  a  derivation  from  the  Suffolk  phrase. 

Lying  for  the  ■whetstone,  a  phrase  used  against  one  who  is  grossly 
exaggerating.  A  favorite  Whitsuntide  amusement  in  ancient  days  was  the 
"  lie-wage"  or  "  lie-match  :"  the  victor  carried  off  a  whetstone  as  his  prize.  The 
nature  of  these  contests  may  be  illustrated  by  this  well-known  extravaganza. 
One  of  the  contestants  would  declare  he  could  see  a  fly  on  the  top  of  a  church 
spire.  The  other  would  reply,  "  Oh,  yes,  I  saw  him  wink  his  eye."  To  which 
the  first  would  answer,  "  And  I  saw  him  shed  one  of  his  eyelashes  as  he 
winked,"  etc.,  etc. 

Lynch  Law,  an  American  colloquialism  for  summary  justice  at  the  hands 
of  a  mob,  the  taking  of  life  by  an  improvised  tribunal  without  due  process  of 
law.  The  term  is  said  to  hark  back  to  Revolutionary  times,  when  Charles 
Lynch  (1726-96),  a  Virginia  planter,  in  conjunction  with  Robert  Adams  and 
Thomas  Calloway,  undertook  to  protect  society  and  support  the  American 
cause  by  punishing  outlaws  and  traitors.  Desperadoes  were  arrested,  and 
when  this  informal  court  was  satisfied  of  their  guilt  were  punished  with  stripes 
or  banishment.  Tories  were  hung  up  by  their  thumbs  until  they  cried 
"  Liberty  forever  !"  But  the  death-penalty  was  never  inflicted.  Lynch, 
during  the  latter  part  of  the  Revolution,  became  a  colonel  in  General  Greene's 
army.  His  brother  John  was  the  founder  of  Lynchburg,  Virginia.  There  is 
nothing  in  the  familiar  story  which  refers  the  expression  to  a  much  earlier 
origin, — i.e.,  to  one  James  Fitz-Stephen  Lynch,  Mayor  of  Galway,  who,  in 
1493,  sentenced  his  own  son  to  death  for  murder,  and.  fearing  a  rescue,  had 
the  culprit  brought  home  and  hanged  before  his  own  door.  The  thing  may 
have  occurred,  it  certainly  exists  as  a  tradition  (Thackeray  mentions  it  in  his 
"  Irish  Sketch-Book"),  but  the  phrase  lynch  law  is  of  purely  American  origin 
and  must  seek  an  American  original. 


670  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Lyon  verses  (so  called,  it  is  said,  as  having  first  been  practised  by  Apol- 
linaris  Sidonius,  a  Gallic  bishop  and  poet  of  the  fifth  century,  born  at  Lyons) 
are  verses  the  words  of  which  are  the  same  whether  read  backward  or  for- 
ward. Here  is  a  memorable  English  specimen, — an  epitaph,  so  it  is  said, 
from  a  church  in  Cornwall  : 

Shall  we  all  die  ? 

We  shall  die  all. 

All  die  shall  we  ; 

Die  all  we  shall. 


M. 

M,  the  thirteenth  letter  and  tenth  consonant  in  the  English  alphabet,  as 
in  the  Latin,  and  the  twelfth  letter  in  the  Greek  and  in  the  Phoenician.  This 
letter  used  to  be  branded  on  a  criminal  convicted  of  manslaughter  and  ad- 
mitted to  the  benefit  of  the  clergy.  "To  have  an  M  under  [or  by]  the 
girdle,"  a  now  obsolescent  phrase,  means  to  address  one  by  the  courtesy- 
titles  Mr.,  Mrs.,  or  Miss. 

Miss.  The  devil  take  you,  Neverout !  besides  all  small  curses. 

LMdy  A.  Marry  come  up  !  What,  plain  Neverout !  methinks  you  might  have  an  M  under 
your  girdle,  miss. — Swift  :  Polite  Conversation,  i. 

Macaroni,  a  wheaten  paste,  prepared  in  the  form  of  hollow  tubes  of 
different  diameters,  is  said  to  have  originated  in  Sicily.  And  this  is  the 
legend.  A  wealthy  nobleman  of  Palermo  owned  a  cook  of  marvellous- in- 
ventive genius.  One  day,  in  a  rapture  of  culinary  composition,  this  great 
artist  devised  the  farinaceous  tubes  and  served  them  up,  with  all  the  succulent 
accessories  of  rich  sauce  and  grated  Parmesan,  in  a  mighty  china  bowl.  The 
first  mouthful  elicited  from  the  illustrious  epicure  the  ejaculation,  "Cari !"  or, 
in  idiomatic  English,  "The  darlings!"  With  the  second  mouthful  he  empha- 
sized the  statement  as  "  Ma  cari  !"  or,  in  a  very  free  translation,  "  Ah,  but 
what  darlings  !"  Presently,  as  the  flavor  of  the  toothsome  mess  grew  upon 
him,  his  enthusiasm  rose  to  even  higher  flights,  and  he  cried  out,  in  a  voice 
tremulous  with  joyful  emotion,  "Ma  caroni  !" — "  Ah,  but  dearest  darlings  !" 
In  paying  this  verbal  tribute  to  the  merits  of  his  cook's  discovery  he  un- 
wittingly bestowed  a  name  upon  that  admirable  preparation  which  has  stuck 
to  it  ever  since.  This  derivation  is  probably  the  work  of  some  amateur  ety- 
mologist (though  it  may  be  a  mere  jest),  but,  if  so,  is  worth  quoting  as  an 
excellent  specimen  of  his  art  of  plausible  narration. 

Macaronic  literature  (an  allusion  to  the  miscellaneous  nature  of  a  dish 
of  macaroni),  in  its  larger  sense,  a  name  given  to  any  jumble  of  two  or  more 
languages,  though  experts  and  purists  would  difi"erentiate  the  true  from  the 
false  macaronic  by  insisting  that  the  former  should  be  a  mixture  of  Latin  (or 
Greek)  with  the  vernacular,  in  which  the  words  of  the  living  language  are 
given  the  inflections  of  the  dead.  Thus,  "  lassas  kissare  boneas"  seems  to  the 
initiated  an  exquisite  macaronic  metamorphosis  of  the  plain  English  "to  kiss 
the  bonny  lasses,"  and  they  can  hardly  contain  their  joy  when  they  find  lendibus 
rhyming  with  circumbendibus.  But  these  refinements  are  of  later  growth. 
In  its  origin  macaronic  literature  was  meant  as  a  burlesque  on  the  corrujjt 
Latinityof  the  monks  of  the  Middle  Ages,  whose  sermons  were  a  strange  hodge- 
podge of  Latin  and  of  the  vulgar  language.  The  originator  of  this  form  of 
humor,  or  at  least  its  earliest  known  professor,  was  one  Odaxius,  or  Oilassi, 
of  Padua,  born  about  1450.  His  efforts  were  bad  enough,  and  on  his  death- 
bed he  is  said  to  have  had  the  grace  to  ask  that  these  early  effusions  should 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  671 

be  destroyed.  His  most  eminent  disciple  among  his  countrymen  was  Teofilo 
Folengo,  an  Italian  Benedictine,  who  died  in  1544.  He  wrote  under  the 
name  of  Merlinus  Cocaius,  and  he  gave  to  this  species  of  drollery  a  degree 
of  poetic  excellence  which  has  secured  for  him  a  respectable  place  in  unread 
and  unreadable  literature.  Numerous  macaronic  writers  carried  on  the  same 
work  in  Italy,  and  were  highly  appreciated.  Cardinal  Mazarin  used  to  amuse 
himself  by  reciting  three  or  four  hundred  of  these  verses,  one  after  another. 
In  France  and  in  Germany  also  the  fashion  spread  apace.  Indeed,  the 
famous  "  Epistolas  Obscurorum  Virorum"  is  a  sort  of  macaronic  prose,  bur- 
lesquing the  logic  and  the  pedantic  Latin  of  the  schoolmen.  It  is  said  that 
Erasmus,  when  he  read  this  work,  was  so  overcome  with  laughter  that  he 
burst  an  abscess  in  his  face,  and  so  saved  the  doctors  an  operation  and  him- 
self a  fee.  Rabelais  and  Moliere  occasionally  indulge  in  the  same  form  of 
composition. 

Dunbar,  a  man  of  great  but  uncouth  genius,  is  held  to  have  introduced 
macaronic  poetry  into  the  literature  of  Great  Britain  in  his  "Testament  of 
Andrew  Kennedy,"  first  printed  in  1508.  This  is  not  the  true  macaronic, 
however,  but  consists  of  alternate  lines  of  old  Scotch  and  dog-Latin,  mixed 
up  with  shreds  from  the  Breviary.  A  sufficient  idea  of  Dunbar's  manner  and 
method  may  be  gained  from  these  the  concluding  verses  : 

I  will  na  priestis  for  me  sing, 

Dies  ilia.  Dies  irae, 
Na  yet  na  bellis  for  me  ring, 

Sicut  semper  solet  fieri ; 

But  a  bagpipe  to  play  a  spring, 

Et  unum  ailwisp  ante  me  ; 
Instead  of  banners  for  to  bring 

Quatuor  lagenas  cervisiae : 

Within  the  grave  to  set  sic  thing, 

In  modern  crucis  juxta  me. 
To  flee  the  fiends,  then  hardily  sing 

De  terra  pla 


Scattered  about  the  "  Colin  Clout"  and  the  "  Philip  Sparrow"  of  John  Skel- 
ton  (first  published  in  1512),  a  younger  contemporary  of  Dunbar,  and  poet- 
laureate  of  England  at  the  close  of  the  fifteenth  century,  may  be  found  the 
first  examples  of  true  macaronics  in  the  English  language.  Like  Dunbar, 
Skelton  is  expressly  ridiculing  the  monkish  Latinity  of  his  time.  A  short 
specimen  from  "Colin  Clout"  must  suffice  : 


Of  suche  vagabundus 
Speaking  totus  mundus. 
How  some  syng  let  abundus. 
At  euerye  ale  stake 
With  welcome  hake  and  make. 
By  the  bread  that  God  brake, 
I  am  sorry  for  your  sake. 
I  speake  not  of  the  god  wife. 
But  of  their  apostles'  lyfe. 
Cum  ipsis  vel  illis 
Qui  manent  in  villis 
Est  uxor  vel  ancilla. 
Welcome  Jack  and  Gilla 
My  prety  Petronilla 
You  shall  haue  your  willa. 
Of  such  pater  noster  pekes 
All  the  world  spekes. 

The  fashion,  once  started,  spread  apace.  That  period  of  intellectual  de- 
velopment had  just  begun  when  our  British  forefathers  delighted  in  all  sorts 
of  verbal   quips   and  cranks,  in  distortions   of  language,  in   conceits  and 


672  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

euphuisms.  Macaronic  poetry  offered  just  the  pedantic  kind  of  ingenuity  in 
which  they  revelled.  In  any  account  of  this  genre  the  following  specimen 
cannot  be  overlooked.  It  has  been  preserved  in  the  commonplace  book  of 
one  Richard  Hilles,  who  died  in  1535.  Whether  he  was  the  author  is  uncer- 
tain. While  not  perfect  as  a  macaronic,  it  is  better  poetry  than  the  average 
composition  of  this  class. 

A  Treatise  on  Wine. 

The  best  tree,  if  ye  take  intent. 

Inter  ligna  fructifera. 
Is  the  vine  tree  by  good  argument, 

Dulcia  ferens  pondera. 

Saint  Luke  saith  in  his  Gospel, 

Arbor  fructu  noscitur. 
The  vine  beareth  wine  as  I  you  tell, 

Hinc  aliis  prseponitur. 

The  first  that  planted  the  vineyard, 

Manet  in  coeli  gaudio, 
His  name  was  Noe,  as  I  am  learned. 

Genesis  testimonio. 

God  gave  unto  him  knowledge  and  wit, 

A  quo  procedunt  omnia. 
First  of  the  grape  wine  for  to  get. 

Propter  magna  mysteria. 

The  first  miracle  that  Jesus  did, 

Erat  in  vino  rubeo, 
In  Cana  of  Galilee  it  betide, 

Testante  Evangelio. 

He  changed  water  into  wine, 

Aquse  rubescunt  hydrise. 
And  bade  give  it  to  Archetcline, 

Ut  gustet  tunc  primarie. 

Like  as  the  rose  exceedeth  all  flowers. 

Inter  -^uncta  florigera, 
So  doth  vine  all  other  liquors, 

Dans  muha  salutifera. 

David,  the  prophet,  saith  that  wine 

Laetificat  cor  hominis. 
It  maketh  men  merry  if  it  be  fine. 

Est  ergo  dignum  nominis. 

It  nourisheth  age  if  —  be  good, 

Facit  ut  esset  juvenis. 
It  gendereth  in  us  gentle  blood. 

Nam  venas  purgat  sanguinis. 

By  all  these  causes  ye  should  think 

Quse  sunt  rationabiles. 
That  good  wine  should  be  best  of  all  drink 

Inter  potus  potabiles. 

Wine-drinkers  all,  with  great  honor. 

Semper  laudate  Dominum, 
The  which  sendeth  the  good  liquor 

Propter  salutem  hominum. 

Plenty  to  all  that  love  good  wine 

Donet  Deus  largius. 
And  bring  them  some  when  they  go  hence, 

Ubi  non  sitient  amplius. 

A  very  famous  carol  "on  bringing  in  the  Boar's  Head,"  still  sung  occasion- 
ally in  England  at  the  Christmas  festivities,  is  certainly  as  old  as  1521,  for  it 
may  be  found  in  a  volume  printed  by  Wynkyn  de  Worde  in  that  year.    The 


I 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  673 

version  subjoined  is  from  a  collection  of  carols  imprinted  at  London  "  in  the 
Poultry,  by  Richard  Kele,  dwelling  at  the  long  shop  under  Saynt  Myldrede's 
Chyrche,"  about  1546  : 

A  Carol  bringing  in  the  Bore's  Head. 

Caput  apri  defero, 

Reddens  laudes  Domino. 
The  bore's  heed  in  hande  bring  I, 
With  garlands  gay  and  rosemary. 
I  pray  you  all  synge  mereiye 

Qui  estis  in  convivio. 

The  bore's  heed,  I  understande, 
Is  the  chief  service  in  this  lande. 
Look  wherever  it  be  fande. 
Servile  cum 


Be  gladde  lordes  both  more  and  lasse. 
For  this  hath  ordeyned  our  stewarde. 
To  cheere  you  all  this  Christmasse, 
The  bore's  heed  with  mustarde. 

Caput  apri  defero, 

Reddens  laudes  Domino. 

Another  version  of  the  last  verse  is, — 

Our  steward  hath  provided  this 
In  honour  of  the  King  of  Bliss  : 
Which  on  this  day  to  be  served  is 
In  Regis  mensae  atrio. 

Caput  apri  defero. 

Reddens  laudes  Domino. 

But  it  was  in  the  year  1616  that  a  sustained  macaronic  composition  fulfilling 
all  the  rules  of  the  game  and  satisfying  the  most  pedantic  requirements  ap- 
peared in  the  poetical  portions  of  the  comedy  entitled  "  Ignoramus."  This 
was  by  a  clergyman  named  Ruggle.  In  its  entirety  it  is  a  burlesque  on  the 
Norman  Law-Latin  of  the  period, — a  sort  of  Latin  which  burlesqued  itself  in 
such  phrases  as  "a  writ  de  pipd.  vini  carriaiidd" — i.e.,  "for  [negligently]  carry- 
ing a  pipe  of  wine," — but  which  the  ridicule  of  centuries  only  slowly  eliminated 
from  the  pleadings  of  the  British  bar.  It  was  three  times  performed  before 
James  I.,  to  the  great  delight  of  that  erudite  and  pedantic  monarch,  who  withal 
had  wit  enough  to  relish  hugely  the  wit  of  the  piece,  the  more  so  as  he  was 
attached  to  the  simpler  forms  and  terms  of  Scotch  law.  The  dialogue,  prose 
and  poetry  alike,  is  all  carried  on  in  legal  hog-Latin.  Here  is  one  of  the 
speeches  of  the  titular  hero.  Ignoramus,  a  lawyer,  in  which  he  celebrates  his 
passion  for  the  lovely  Rosabella  and  shows  how  richly  he  purposes  to  endow 
her: 

Si  posem  vellem  pro  te,  Rosa,  ponere  pellum 
Quicquid  tu  queis  crava,  et  habebis  singula  brava, 
Et  dabo,  fee  simple,  si  monstras  Love's  pretty  dimple, 
Gownos,  silkcoatos,  kirtellos,  et  petticoatos. 
Farthingales  biggos,  stomacheros,  et  periwiggos, 
Buskos  et  soccos,  tiffanas  en  cambricka  smockos, 
PantofFlos,  cuiTos,  garteros,  Spanica  ruffos, 
Wimpolos,  pursos  ;  ad  ludos  ibis  et  ursos. 

Our  next  example  goes  back  avowedly  to  the  Skeltonic  form.  It  was 
written  to  celebrate  the  defeat  of  the  Spanish  Armada,  and  hence  has  an 
historic  if  not  an  intrinsic  interest : 

A  Skeltonical  salutation. 

Or  condign  gratulation. 

At  the  just  vexation 

Of  the  Spanish  nation. 

That  in  a  bravado 

Spent  many  a  crusado 

2D  SS  57 


674  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

In  setting  forth  an  Armado 
England  to  invade. 
Pro  cujus  memoria 
Ye  may  well  be  soria. 
Full  small  may  be  your  gloria. 
When  ye  shall  hear  this  storia. 
Then  will  ye  cry  and  roria. 
We  shall  see  her  no  moria. 

Shortly  afterwards  appeared  Drumniond  of  Hawthornden's  "  Polemo  Mid- 
dinia,"  which  contains  macaronic  verses  that  were  highly  esteemed  in  their 
time,  but  are  at  once  too  coarse  and  too  obscure  foi  reproduction  to-day. 

A  modern  specimen  of  a  macaronic  which  is  perfect  in  structure  and  ex- 
emplifies the  sort  of  humor  which  may  be  expected  in  this  kind  of  verse  is 
the  following  from  the  "  Comic  Latin  Grammar  :" 

Patres  conscript! — took  a  boat  and  went  to  Philippi. 
Trumpeter  unus  erat  qui  coatum  scarlet  habebat, 
Stormum  surgebat,  et  boatum  overset — ebat, 
Omnes  drownerunt,  quia  swimaway  non  potuerunt, 
Excipe  John  Periwig  tied  up  to  the  tail  of  a  dead  pig. 
But,  on  the  whole,  nothing  better  has  ever  been  produced  than  the  following, 
which  appeared  in  Punch : 

The  Death  of  the  Sea-Serpent. 
by  publius  jonathan  virgilius  jefferson  smith. 

Arma  virumque  cano,  qui  first  in  Monongahela 

Tamally  squampushed  the  sarpent,  mittens  horrentia  tela. 

Musa,  look  sharp  with  your  banjo !     1  guess  to  relate  this  event  I 

Shall  need  all  the  aid  you  can  give ;  so  nunc  aspirate  canenti. 

Mighty  slick  were  the  vessels  progressing,  jactata  per  aequora  ventis, 

But  the  brow  of  the  skipper  was  sad,  cum  solicitudine  mentis  ; 

For  whales  had  been  scarce  in  those  parts,  and  the  skipper,  so  long  as  he'd  known  her. 

Ne'er  had  gathered  less  oil  in  a  cruise  to  gladden  the  heart  of  her  owner. 

"  Dam  the  whales,"  cries  the  skipper  at  length,  "  with  a  telescope  forte  videbo 

Aut  pisces,  aut  terras."     While  speaking,  just  two  or  three  points  on  the  lee  bow. 

He  saw  coming  towards  them  as  fast  as  though  to  a  combat  'twould  tempt  'em, 

A  monstrum  horrendum  informe  (cui  lumen  was  shortly  ademptum). 

On  the  taffrail  up  jumps  in  a  hurry  dux  fortis,  and,  seizing  a  trumpet, 

Blows  a  blast  that  would  waken  the  dead,  mare  turbat  et  aera  rumpit. 

"Tumble  up,  all  you  lubbers,"  he  cries,  •'  tumble  up,  for  careering  before  us 

Is  the  real  old  sea-sarpent  himself,  cristis  maculisque  decorus." 

"  Consam  it,"  cries  one  of  the  sailors,  "  if  e'er  we  provoke  him  he'll  kill  us. 

He'll  certainly  chaw  up  hos  morsu,  et  longis  implexibus  illos." 

Loud  laughs  the  bold  skipper,  and  quick  premit  alto  corde  dolorem ; 

(If  he  does  feel  like  running,  he  knows  it  won't  do  to  betray  it  before  'em.) 

"  O  socii,"  inquit,  "  I'm  sartin  you're  not  the  fellers  to  funk,  or 

Shrink  from  the  durum  certamen,  whose  fathers  fit  bravely  at  Bunker, 

You  who  have  waged  with  the  bears  and  the  buffalo  proelia  dura, 

Down  to  the  freshets  and  licks  of  our  own  free  enlightened  Missourer, 

You  who  could  whip  your  own  weight  catulis  ssevis  sine  telo,^ 

Get  your  eyes  skinned  in  a  twinkling,  et  ponite  tela  phasello  I" 

Talia  voce  refert,  curisque  ingentibus  aeger. 

Marshals  his  cute  little  band,  now  panting  their  foes  to  beleaguer; 

Swiftly  they  lower  the  boats,  and  swiftly  each  man  at  the  oar  is, 

Excipe  Britannos  timidos  duo,  virumque  coloris. 

fBlackskin,  you  know,  never  feels  how  sweet  'tis  pro  patria  mori ; 

Ovid  had  him  in  view  when  he  said,  "  Nimium  ne  crede  colori.") 

Now  swiftly  they  pull  towards  the  monster,  who.  seeing  the  cutter  and  gig  nigh. 

Glares  at  them  with  terrible  eyes,  suffectis  sanguine  et  igni. 

And,  never  conceiving  their  chief  will  so  quickly  deal  him  a  floorer. 

Opens  wide  to  receive  them  at  once  his  Unguis  vibrantibus  ora ; 

But  just  as  he's  licking  his  lips,  and  gladly  preparing  to  taste  'em. 

Straight  into  his  eyeball  the  skipper  stridentem  conjicit  hastam. 

Straight  as  he  feels  in  his  eyeball  the  lance,  growing  mightily  sulky. 

At  'era  he  comes  in  a  rage,  ore  minax,  lingua  trisulca. 

"  Starn  all !"  cry  the  sailors  at  once,  for  they  think  he  has  certainly  caught  'em, 

Praesentemque  viris  intentant  omnia  mortem. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  675 

But  the  bold  skipper  exclaims,  "  O  terque  quaterque  beati ! 

Now  with  a  will  date  viam,  when  I  want  you,  be  only  parati  ; 

This  boss  feels  like  raising  his  hair,  and,  in  spite  of  his  scaly  old  cortex. 

Full  soon  you  shall  see  that  his  corpse  rapidus  vorat  aequore  vortex." 

Hoc  ait,  and,  choosing  a  lance,  "  With  this  one  I  think  I  shall  hit  it," 

He  cries,  and  straight  into  his  mouth  ad  intima  viscera  mittit. 

Screeches  the  creature  in  pain,  and  writhes  till  the  sea  is  commotum. 

As  if  all  its  waves  had  been  lashed  in  a  tempest  per  Eurum  et  Notum. 

Interea  terrible  shindy  Neptunus  sensit,  et  alto 

Prospiciens  sadly  around,  wiped  his  eye  with  the  cuflf  of  his  paletot. 

And,  mad  at  his  favorites  fate,  of  oaths  uttered  one  or  two  thousand. 

Such  as  "  Corpo  di  Bacco  !  Mehercle  !     Sacre  !     Mille  Tonnerres  !     Potztausend  I" 

But  the  skipper,  who  thought  it  was  time  to  this  terrible  fight  dare  finem. 

With  a  scalping-knife  jumps  on  the  neck  of  the  snake,  secat  et  dextra  crinem. 

And  hurling  the  scalp  in  the  air,  half  mad  with  delight  to  possess  it. 

Shouts,  "  Dam  it,  I've  fixed  up  his  flint,  for  in  ventos  vita  recessit  I" 

So  much  for  the  genuine  macaronics.  But  there  are  a  large  number  of 
jeux-d' esprit,  more  or  less  closely  analogous  to  this  genuine  sort,  which  the 
unscientific  mind  of  the  public  persists  in  grouping  in  the  same  class.  Many 
of  these  pseudo-macaronics  are  more  amusing  than  the  Simon  Pures.  And 
first  we  shall  begin  with  three  polyglot  specimens  to  which  purists  would  deny 
the  name,  either  because  they  could  not  accord  with  the  structure  of  Latin 
verse,  or  because  it  is  some  living  language  that  is  entwined  with  the  English 
in  lieu  of  a  dead  one. 

The  following  advertisement  in  five  languages  is  said  to  be  inscribed  on 
the  window  of  a  public-house  in  Germany  : 

In  questa  casa  trovarete 

Toutes  les  choses  que  vous  souhaitez  ; 

Vinum  bonum,  costas,  cames. 

Neat  post-chaise,  and  horse  and  harness, 

And  this  appears  in  a  Cape  Town,  Africa,  hotel : 
Multum  in  parvo,  pro  bono  publico; 
Entertainment  for  man  or  beast  all  of  a  row 
Lekker  host  as  much  as  you  please ; 
Excellent  beds  without  any  fleas  ; 
Nos  patriam  fugimus — now  we  are  here, 
Vivamus,  let  us  live  by  selling  beer. 
On  donne  k  boire  et  i  manger  ici ; 
Come  in  and  try  it,  whoever  you  be. 

Victor  Hugo  was  once  asked  if  he  could  write  English  poetry.     "  Certafne- 
ment,"  he  replied,  and  forthwith  delivered  himself  of  the  following : 
Poiu:  chasser  le  spleen 
J'entrai  dans  un  inn  ; 
O,  mais  je  bus  le  gin, 
God  save  the  Queen  ! 

The  following  is  a  relic  of  the  Henry  Clay  campaign  of  1844,  when  "  That 
same  old  coon"  was  a  popular  party-cry  : 

Ce  Meme  Vieux  Coon. 

Ce  meme  vieux  coon  n'est  pas  quite  mort, 

II  n'est  pas  seulement  napping  : 
Je  pense,  myself,  unless  j'ai  tort, 
"  Cette  chose  est  yet  to  happen. 

En  dix-huit  forty-four,  je  sais, 

Vous'll  hear  des  curious  noises; 
He'll  whet  ses  dents  against  some  Clay, 

Et  scare  des  Loco — Bois-es  ! 
You  know  que  quand  il  est  awake, 

Et  quand  il  scratch  ses  clawses, 
Les  Locos  dans  leurs  souliers  shake, 

Et,  sheepish,  hang  leurs  jaws-es. 


676 


HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Ce  meme  vieux  coon,  je  ne  sais  pas  why, 

Le  mischiefs  come  across  him, 
11  fait  believe  he's  going  to  die, 

Quand  seulement  playing  possum. 

Mais  wait  till  nous  le  want  encore, 

Nous'll  stir  him  with  une  pole ; 
He'll  bite  as  mauvais  as  before 

Nous  pulled  him  de  son  hole ! 

A  favorite  kind  of  school-boy  humor  is  that  which  takes  the  form  of 
evolving  sentences  like  the  following :  Forte  dux  fel  flat  in  gutture,  which 
is  good  Latin  for  "  By  chance  the  leader  inhales  poison  in  his  throat,"  but 
which  read  off  rapidly  sounds  like  the  English  "Forty  ducks  fell  flat  in  the 
gutter."  A  French  example  is  Pas  de  lieu  Rhone  que  nous,  which  it  is  hardly 
necessary  to  explain  makes  no  sense  in  French  at  all,  though  every  word  be 
true  Gallic,  but  by  a  similar  process  of  reading  reveals  the  proverbial  advice, 
"  Paddle  your  own  canoe." 

Dean  Swift  was  a  master  of  this  form  of  trifling.     He  and  his  friend  Dr. 
Sheridan,  who  was  almost  his  match,  used  to  correspond  together  in  this 
fashion.     The  following  inquiry  from  Dean  Swift  needs  no  gloss  : 
Is  his  honor  sic?  Prae  letus  felis  pulse. 

The  following  correspondence  may  also  be  deciphered  with  very  little 
trouble.    Swift  commenced  it  by  sending  the  doctor  the  following  love-poem  : 

Moll. 

Mollis  abuti. 
Has  an  acuti, 
No  lasso  finis, 
MoUi  divinis. 

Sheridan  responded, — 

I  ritu  a  verse  o  na  Molli  o  mi  ne, 
Asta  lassa  me  pole,  a  Isedis  o  fine ; 
I  ne  ver  neu  a  niso  ne  at  in  mi  ni  is, 
A  manat  a  glans  ora  sito  fer  diis. 

De  armo  lis  abuti,  hos  face  an  hos  nos  is 
As  fer  a  sal  illi,  as  reddas  aro  sis, 
Ac  is  o  mi  Molli  is  almi  de  lite, 
lUo  verbi  de,  an  illo  verbi  nite. 

And  the  Dean  settled  the  whole  affair  thus  : 

Apud  in  is  almi  de  si  re, 

Mimis  tres  I  ne  ver  re  qui  re ; 

Alo'  ver  I  findit  a  gestis. 

His  miseri  ne  ver  at  restis.  B 

The  following  sustained  effort  in  the  same  style  can  hardly  be  appreciated 
without  a  key  : 

Mi  Molle  Annl 

O  pateo  tulis  aras  cale  fel  O, 

Hebetis  vivis  id,  an  sed  "  Alo  puer  vello !" 

Vittis  nox  certias  in  erebo  de  nota  olim, — 

A  mite  grate  sinimus  tonitis  ovem  : 

"  Prse  sacer,  do  tellus,  hausit,"  sese,  * 

"  Mi  Molle  anni  cano  te  ver  segre?" 

Ure  Molle  anu  cano  te  ver  aegre. 

Vere  truso  aio  puellis  tento  me  ; 

Thrasonis  piano  "  cum  Hymen"  (heu  sedit), 

"  Diutius  toga  thyrso"  Hymen  edidit; — 

Stentior  man  aget  O  mare  nautis  alter  id  alas ! 

Alludo  isto  terete  ure  daris  pausas  anas. 

"  O  pater  hie,  heu  vix  en,"  ses  Molle,  an  vi? 

Heu  itera  vere  grates  troche  in  heri. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  GfJ 

Ah  Moliere  arti  fere  procaciter  intuitis  ! 

Vos  me  !  for  de  parte  da  vas  ure  arbuteis. 

Thus  thrasonis  planas  vel  huma  se, 

Vi  ure  MoUe  anu  cano  te  ver  aegre. 

Betoe  MoUe  indulgent  an  suetas  agile, — 

Pares  pector  sex,  uno  vimen  ars  ille  ; 

"Quietat  ure  servis  lam,"  sato  heras  heu  pater, 

"  Audio  do  missus  MoUe,  an  vatis  thema  ter? 

Ara  mi  honestatis,  vetabit,  diu  se, — 

O  mare,  mi  dare,  cum  specto  me : 

Ago  in  a  vae  aestuare,  vel  uno  more  illic, 

O  mare,  mi  dare,  cum  pacto  ure  pater  hie." 

Beavi  ad  visu  civile,  an  socia  luse, 

Ure  Molle  an  huma  fore  ver  segre. 

My  Molly  and  I. 

O  Patty  O'Toole  is  a  rascally  fellow. 

He  beat  his  wife's  head,  and  said,  "  I  hope  you  are  well,  O  1" 

With  his  knocks,  sir,  she  has  in  her  body  not  a  whole  limb, — 

A  mighty  great  sin  I  must  own  it  is  of  him. 

"  Pray,  say,  sir,  do  tell  us,  how  it  is,"  says  he, 

"  My  Molly  and  I  cannot  ever  agree?" 

Your  Molly  and  you  cannot  ever  agiee : 

Very  true,  so  I  hope  you  will  listen  to  me  ; 

The  rason  is  plain,  "  O  come  Hymen"  (you  said  it), 

"  Do  ye  tie  us  together."     So  Hymen  he  did  it. 

Since  your  marriage  to  Mary  now  'tis  altered,  alas ! 

All  you  do  is  to  (rute  your  dear  spouse  as  an  ass. 

"  O  Patrick  !  you  vixen,"  says  Molly,  and  why? 

You  hit  her  a  very  great  stroke  in  her  eye. 

Ah  Molly  !  her  heart  I  (esir /roke  as  'twere  in  two  it  is  ! 

Woes  me  !  for  departed  away  sure  her  beauty  is. 

Thus  the  rason  is  plain,  as  well  you  may  see, 

Why  your  Molly  and  you  cannot  ever  agree. 

Be  to  Molly  indulgent  and  smate  as  a  jelly, — 

Pay  respect  to  her  sex,  you  know  women  are  silly  : 

"  Quite  at  your  service  I  am,"  say  to  her  as  you  pat  her. 

"  How  d'ye  do.  Missus  Molly,  and  what  is  the  matter? 

Arah,  my  honey  !  stay,  'tis  wait  a  bit,  d'ye  see, 

O  Mary,  my  dary,  come  spake  to  me  ; 

A-going  away  is't  you  are,  well  you  no  more  I'll  lick, 

O  Mary,  my  dary,  comeback  to  your  Patrick." 

Behave,  I  advise  you,  and  so  shall  you  see 

Your  Molly  and  you  may  forever  agree. 

A  facile  appearance  of  Greek  is  gained  by  the  simple  trick  of  setting  up 
English  words  in  Greek  type,  as  in  this  poem  from  Punch: 
TO  0E  AEAAINr  HEPIOAIKAA. 
©IS  (fonTrAtficvT,  ypeaT  (Ttp,  o  Ttuce, 
Ype  a  ^piK,  avh  vo  /omrraKC" 
Ei/c/j.!  TO  Ka.VT  a.vh  ^v&yi, 
Ti(OLC  TO  flee  I  ce'ep  PeypvSye' 
AvS  1  loire  to  <ree  vpe  vafxe 
<Puipefj.o(7T  IV  $e  AitTTS  oi|>  (fia^e. 

Toji  2nt8,  Tpvp  %TpefT. 

Put  it  in  Roman,  and  the  mystery  is  clear  at  once  : 
To  THE  Leading  Periodical. 

This  compliment,  great  sir,  O  take, 
Ure  a  brik  and  no  mistake  ; 
Enemy  to  kant  and  fudge. 
Time  to  thee  I  ne'er  begrudge. 
And  1  hope  to  see  ure  name 
Foremost  in  the  lists  of  fame. 

Tom  Smith,  Grub  Street. 

Macaronies,  the  dudes  or  dandies  of  Queen  Anne's  time.     Addison  has 

this  explanation  of  the  origin  of  the  name  :  "There  is  a  set  of  merrv  dolls 

57* 


678  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

whom  the  common  people  of  all  countries  admire,  and  seem  to  love  so  well 
that  they  coald  eat  them,  according  to  the  old  proverb  ;  I  mean  those  circum- 
foraneous  wits  whom  every  nation  calls  by  the  name  of  that  dish  of  meat 
which  it  loves  best.  In  Holland  they  are  termed  'Pickled  Herrings;'  in 
France,  'Jean  Potages ;'  in  Italy,  'Macaronies;'  and  in  Great  Britain,  'Jack 
Puddings.' "  But  Addison  is  wrong  in  assuming  that  the  sobriqtiet,  as  such, 
was  of  Italian  origin.  It  was  self-applied  to  the  members  of  the  Macaroni 
Club,  founded  in  1760,  which  consisted  of  travelled  young  men, — Italianated 
Englishmen,  Roger  Ascham  would  have  called  them, — who  with  many  foreign 
affectations  brought  back  from  their  wanderings  one  grateful  novelty  in  the 
shape  of  Italian  macaroni,  which  they  introduced  at  Almack's  and  from 
which  they  took  their  name.  The  name  soon  passed  into  general  use  as  a 
synonyme  for  fop  or  exquisite,  almost  superseding  the  analogous  terms  of 
Buck  and  Blood.  True  Macaronies  were  distinguished  by  their  passion  for 
dress  and  for  gambling.  At  Almack's  and  Brooks's  they  squandered  thou- 
sands at  hazard.  When  they  sat  down  to  this  serious  business  they  laid  off 
the  velvet  suits  of  which  they  were  especially  fond,  putting  on  frieze  great- 
coats, often  turned  inside  out  for  luck,  while  high-crowned  hats  with  broad 
brims  beflowered  and  beribboned  protected  their  carefully-arranged  hair  and 
guarded  their  eyes  from  the  light.  In  the  streets  they  carried  long  walking- 
sticks  ornamented  with  tassels.  An  eye-glass  and  a  toothpick  were  their 
inseparable  companions.  Burgoyne,  in  his  play  "  The  Maid  of  the  Oaks" 
(1774),  alludes  to  the  Macaronies  "whistling  a  song  through  their  tooth- 
picks." Another  feature  of  the  true  Macaroni  was  his  supercilious  rudeness. 
Mackenzie's  "  Mirror"  (1780)  gives  a  very  unflattering  description  of  a  Macaroni 
Member  of  Parliament,  Sir  Bobby  Button,  who,  visiting  a  quiet  country  gen- 
tleman, asserts  his  claims  to  taste  and  fashion  by  attacking  everything  he  sees 
in  the  house  and  gardens.  When  the  daughter  of  the  house  appears  he  talks 
"  as  if  London  were  one  grand  seraglio  and  he  himself  the  mighty  master  of 
it."  The  Macaronies  were  in  constant  attendance  at  Vauxhall  and  Ranelagh, 
A  pamphlet  published  in  1773,  entitled  "The  Vauxhall  Affray;  or,  Macaro- 
nies Defeated,"  chronicles  a  disturbance  provoked  by  the  tipsy  insolence  of 
the  exquisites.  They  did  not  retain  their  appellation  very  long.  Fashions 
changed,  and  new  nicknames  came  in  with  the  new  fashions.  The  species 
was  pretty  well  extinct  by  the  end  of  the  century.  In  1805,  George  Barring- 
ton  writes  in  the  New  London  Spy  of  "  the  present  degenerate  race  of  Maca- 
ronies, who  appear  to  be  of  a  spurious,  puny  breed  ;"  and  about  1815  there 
was  published  at  Bath  a  poetical  pamphlet,  ascribed  to  Thomas  Haynes 
Bayly,  on  "  Bath  Dandies  of  the  Present  and  the  Macaronies  of  the  Past." 
But  they  were  in  their  full  glory  when  Yankee  Doodle,  in  a  sudden  burst  of 
dandyism,  stuck  a  feather  in  his  hat  and  called  it  macaroni. 

Macaulay's  New  Zealander.  In  his  review  of  Ranke's  "  History  of 
the  Popes"  Macaulay  winds  up  a  splendid  rhetorical  passage  on  the  Catholic 
Church  with  the  following  peroration  : 

She  was  great  and  respected  before  the  Saxon  had  set  foot  on  Britain,  before  the  Frank  had 
passed  the  Rhine,  when  Grecian  eloquence  still  flourished  in  Antioch,  when  idols  were  still 
worshipped  in  the  temple  of  Mecca.  And  she  may  still  exist  in  undiminished  vigor  when 
some  traveller  from  New  Zealand  shall,  in  the  midst  of  a  vast  solitude,  take  his  stand  on  a 
broken  arch  of  London  Bridge  to  sketch  the  ruins  of  St.  Paul's. 

The  last  sentence  became  at  once  a  classic.  Macaulay's  New  Zealander 
passed  into  popular  phraseology.  Writers  of  leading  articles  made  a  useful 
man  of  him  ;  reviewers,  philosophers,  historians,  put  him  to  all  kinds  of  sen- 
timental work.  But  it  was  soon  found  that  he  was  no  child  of  Macaulay's. 
He   had  been  making  his  prospective   archaeological  journeys  long  before 


i 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  679 

Macaulay  was  born.  He  was  to  come  from  Lima,  from  Alaska,  from  the 
Antipodes,  from  nowhere  in  particular;  and  he  was  to  sigh  over  the  ruins  of 
New  York  and  Philadelphia  as  well  as  of  London,  or,  indeed,  over  any  ruins  ; 
the  main  point  was  the  moral.  Ezekiel  knew  him, — indeed,  several  of  him, — 
and  Ezekiel  wrote  about  six  hundred  years  before  Christ: 

Tyre  shall  be  a  place  for  the  spreading  of  nets  in  the  midst  of  the  sea.  .  .  Then  all  the 
princes  of  the  sea  shall  come  down  from  their  thronrs  ;  .  .  .  thej' shall  sit  upon  the  ground,  and 
shall  tremble  at  every  moment,  and  be  astonished  at  thee.  And  they  shall  take  up  a  lamen- 
tation for  thee,  and  say  to  thee,  How  art  thou  destroyed,  that  wast  inhabited  ot  seafaring 
men,  the  renowned  city,  which  wast  strong  in  the  sea,  she  and  her  inhabitants  (xxvi.  5,  16,  17;. 

And  it  shall  come  to  pass,  that  the  fishers  shall  stand  upon  it  from  En-gedi  even  to  En- 
eglaim ;  they  shall  be  a  place  to  spread  forth  nets  (xlvii.  10). 

And  is  not  the  Agricola  of  the  "  Georgics"  who  rests  contemplative  upon 
his  plough  to  moralize  over  what  he  has  turned  up  in  the  furrow, — 
Grandiaque  effossis  mirabitur  ossa  sepulchris, — 

another  early  avatar  of  this  venerable  personage .''  In  English  and  other 
modern  literatures  he  turns  up  with  the  unassuming  persistence  of  the 
Wandering  Jew  or  the  Little  Joker.     Shelley  caught  a  glimpse  of  him  : 

In  the  firm  expectation,  that  when  London  shall  be  a  habitation  of  bitterns,  when  St. 
Paul's  and  Westminster  Abbey  shall  stand  shapeless  and  nameless  ruins  in  the  midst  of  an 
unpeopled  marsh  ;  when  the  piers  of  Westminster  Bridge  shall  become  the  nuclei  of  islets  of 
reeds  and  osiers,  and  cast  the  jagged  shadows  of  their  broken  arches  on  the  solitary  stream; 
some  transatlantic  commentator  will  be  weighing  in  the  scales  of  some  new  and  now  un- 
imagined  system  of  criticism  the  respective  merits  of  the  Bells,  and  the  Fudges,  and  their 
historians. — Peter  Bell  the  Third:  Dedication  (to  Thomas  Moore). 

Volney,  in  his  "  Ruins  of  Empires,"  comes  face  to  face  with  him  ; 

Reflecting  that  if  the  places  before  me  had  once  exhibited  this  animated  pictiu-e,  who,  said 
I  to  myself,  can  assure  me  that  their  present  desolation  will  not  one  day  be  the  lot  of  our  own 
country?  Who  knows  but  that  hereafter  some  traveller  like  myself  will  sit  down  upon  the 
banks  of  the  Seine,  the  Thames,  or  the  Zuyder  Zee,  where  now,  in  the  tumult  of  enjoyment, 
the  heart  and  the  eyes  are  too  slow  to  take  in  the  multitude  of  sensations, — who  knows  but 
that  he  will  sit  down  solitary  amid  silent  ruins,  and  weep  a  people  inurned,  and  their  greatness 
changed  into  an  empty  name? 

Horace  Walpole  was  equally  favored.  Writing  to  Sir  Horace  Mann,  No- 
vember 24,  1774,  he  says, — 

For  my  part,  I  take  Europe  to  be  worn  out.  When  Voltaire  dies  we  may  say  "  Good- 
night." The  next  Augustan  age  will  dawn  on  the  other  side  of  the  Atlantic.  There  will 
perhaps  be  a  Thucydides  at  Boston,  a  Xenophon  at  New  York,  and,  in  time,  a  Virgil  at 
Mexico,  and  a  Newton  at  Peru.  At  last  some  curious  traveller  from  Lima  will  visit  Eng- 
land, and  give  a  description  of  the  ruins  of  St.  Paul's,  like  the  editions  of  Baalbec  and  Pal- 
myra. 

There  can  be  no  doubt  that  this  is  the  identical  individual, — Macaulay's 
own  man.  Mrs.  Barbauld,  like  Ezekiel,  saw  a  number  of  him.  In  her  poem 
of  "Eighteen  Hundred  and  Eleven,"  published  the  year  after  the  titular  date, 
she  describes  a  band  of  enthusiastic  travellers  who 

With  duteous  zeal  their  pilgrimage  shall  take 

From  the  blue  mountains  on  Ontario's  lake, 

With  fond  adoring  steps  to  press  the  sod 

By  statesmen,  sages,  poets,  heroes  trod. 

Pensive  and  thoughtful  shall  the  wanderers  greet 

Each  splendid  square  and  still  untrodden  street  ; 

Or  of  some  crumbling  turret,  mined  by  time. 

The  broken  stairs  with  perilous  step  may  climb. 

Thence  stretch  their  view  the  wide  horizon  round. 

By  scattered  hamlets  trace  its  ancient  bound. 

And,  choked  no  more  with  fleets,  fair  Thames  survey 

Through  reeds  and  sedge  pursue  his  idle  way. 

Oft  shall  the  strangers  turn  their  eager  feet. 

The  rich  remains  of  ancient  art  to  greet ; 


68o  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  pictured  walls  with  critic  eye  explore. 
And  Reynolds  be  what  Raphael  was  before. 
On  spoils  from  every  clime  their  eye  shall  gaze, 
Egyptian  granites  and  the  Etruscan  vase ; 
And  when  'midst  fallen  London  they  survey 
The  stone  where  Alexander's  ashes  lay. 
Shall  own  with  humble  pride  the  lesson  just, 
By  Time's  slow  finger  written  in  the  dust. 

In  a  similar  strain  Kirke  White,  in  his  poem  on  "Time"  (1803),  pictures 
"the  decay  of  empire"  in  Britain  and  its  reduction  to  "a  primitive  bar- 
barity :" 

Meanwhile  the  Arts,  in  second  infancy. 
Rise  in  some  distant  clime,  and  then,  perchance, 
Some  bold  adventurer,  filled  with  golden  dreams. 
Steering  his  bark  through  trackless  solitudes, 
Where,  to  his  wandering  thoughts,  no  daring  prow 
Hath  ever  ploughed  before,  espies  the  cliffs 
Of  fallen  Albion.     To  the  land  unknown 
He  journeys  joyful ;  and  perhaps  desires 
Some  vestige  of  her  ancient  stateliness ; 
Then  he  with  vain  conjecture  fills  his  mind 
Of  the  unheard-of  race,  which  had  arrived 
At  science  in  that  solitary  nook 
Far  from  the  civil  world  ;  and  sagely  sighs, 
And  moralizes  on  the  state  of  man. 

Ten  or  a  dozen  years  before  White,  Richard  Alsop,  of  Connecticut,  one  of 
the  Hartford  wits,  announced  the  arrival  of  this  same  traveller  from 
his  distant  home 
From  western  shores  with  brilliant  cities  graced — 
Where  now  Alaska  lifts  her  forests  rude— 

to  Stray,  "  contemplative," 

Where  Philadelphia  caught  the  admiring  gaze. 
Mid  ambient  waves  where  York's  emporium  shone. 
Or  fair  Bostonia  graced  her  Eastern  throne. 

He  hears  no  human  voice, — only 

the  moan  of  winds  that  sadly  sigh 
O'er  many  a  shattered  pile  and  broken  stone. 

In  1759,  more  than  thirty  years  earlier,  Goldsmith  describes  the  man  and 
his  feelings  in  the  "Citizen  of  the  World."  London  itself,  he  says,  will  fade 
away  some  day,  and  leave  a  desert  in  its  room.  "The  sorrowful  traveller 
wanders  over  the  awful  ruins,"  and  as  he  beholds  he  learns  wisdom  and  feels 
the  transiency  of  every  sublunary  possession.  "  Here,  he  cries,  stood  their 
citadel,  now  grown  over  with  weeds  ;  there  their  Senate  House,  now  the 
haunt  of  every  noxious  reptile  ;  temples  and  theatres  stood  here,"  etc. 
Alsop's  man  also  notices  the  noxious  reptile,  and  defines  it : 

From  some  gray  tomb  by  withering  fern  o'erspread. 

Slow  rears  the  rattlesnake  his  glistening  crest, 

And  fills  with  dreadful  sounds  the  dreary  waste. 

Goldsmith,  it  is  not  unlikely,  had  in  mind  an  essay  entitled  "Humorous 
Thoughts  on  the  Removal  of  the  Seat  of  Empire  and  Commerce,"  which 
appeared  in  the  London  Magazine  for  July  6,  1745.  At  least  there  is  a  re- 
markable parallelism  between  his  description  and  that  contained  in  the  fol- 
lowing passage  : 

When  I  have  been  indulging  in  this  thought,  I  have  in  imagination  seen  the  Britons  of 
some  future  century  walking  by  the  banks  of  the  Thames,  then  overgrown  with  weeds  and 
rendered  almost  impassable  with  rubbish.  The  father  points  out  to  his  son  where  stood  St. 
Paul's,  the  Monument,  the  Bank,  the  Mansion  House,  and  other  places  of  the  first  distinc- 
tion, just  as  one  traveller  now  shows  another  of  less  experience  the  venerable  ruins  of  pagan 
Rome. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  68 1 

But  why  continue  our  extracts  ?  The  traveller  of  the  future  who  is  to  visit 
the  ruins  of  some  now  flourishing  city  or  empire  and  indulge  in  the  melan- 
choly and  moral  reflections  which  such  a  spectacle  should  awaken  in  the 
properly-regulated  man  is  a  commonplace  in  literature.  Nay,  he  was  a 
familiar  figure  in  Macaulay  even  before  his  avatar  as  a  New  Zealander.  He 
had  already  been  utilized  in  no  less  than  three  places.  Under  the  name  of 
Richard  Quogti  he  is  the  author  of  a  Grand  National  Epic  Poem  to  be  en- 
titled The  Wellingtoniad  and  to  be  published  a.d.  2824,  which  is  analyzed  at 
length  in  an  early  contribution  to  Knighfs  Quarterly  Magazine,  November, 
1824.  The  same  magazine  in  the  same  issue  contained  a  review  of  Mitford's 
Greece  in  which  he  reappears  anonymously  : 

When  the  sceptre  shall  have  passed  away  from  England ;  when,  perhaps,  travellers  from 
distant  regions  shall  in  vain  labor  to  decipher  on  some  mouldering  pedestal  the  name  of  our 
proudest  chief;  shall  hear  savage  hymns  chanted  to  some  misshapen  idol,  over  the  ruined 
dome  of  our  proudest  temple  ;  and  shall  see  a  single  naked  fisherman  wash  his  nets  in  the 
river  of  the  ten  thousand  masts;  her  [Athens's]  influence  and  her  glory  will  still  survive,  fresh 
In  eternal  youth. 

A  passage  in  the  "  Review  of  Mill's  Essay  on  Government"  (1829)  is  very 
closely  analogous  : 

Is  it  possible  that  in  two  or  three  hundred  years  a  few  lean  and  half-naked  fishermen  may 
divide  with  owls  and  foxes  the  ruins  of  the  greatest  European  cities?— nay,  wash  their  nets 
amidst  the  relics  of  her  gigantic  docks,  and  build  their  huU  out  of  the  capitals  of  her  stately 
cathedrals  ? 

Macaulay's  school-boy,  an  eidolon  almost  as  famous  as  his  New 
Zealander,  a  purely  imaginary  being  who  in  the  course  of  Macaulay's  writings 
is  continually  brought  in  to  shame  the  opponent  he  is  belaboring.  The  latter 
is  scornfully  told  that  every  school-boy  knows  the  matter  in  which  he  is  caught 
delinquent. 

The  school-boy  is  usually  spoken  of  as  an  original  creation  of  Macaulay's. 
It  may,  therefore,  be  of  some  interest  to  note  that  the  following  sentence 
occurs  on  p.  1 14  of  the  Christian  Observer  for  1808,  in  an  editorial  review  of 
a  "Vindication  of  the  Hindoos"  by  "A  Bengal  Officer  :"  "  It  is  beneath  the 
dignity  of  criticism  to  stoop  to  the  refutation  of  positions  which  every  school- 
boy could  shake  to  pieces."  The  Christian  Observer,  it  should  be  remem- 
bered, was  edited  by  Zachary  Macaulay,  father  of  the  historian. 

And,  after  all,  Burton  was  before  either  of  the  Macaulays  :  "But  every 
school-boy  hath  that  famous  testament  of  GrunniusCorocotta  Porcellus  at  his 
fingers' ends."  {Anatomy  of  Melancholy.) 

Macedonia's  Madman.  By  this  title  Alexander  the  Great  is  sometimes 
referred  to,  on  account  of  his  alleged  furious  lust  of  conquest  and  unparal- 
leled succession  of  victories.  He  left  his  kingdom,  accompanied  by  a  com- 
paratively small  force,  and  with  an  empty  treasury,  for  the  subjection  of  the 
world.  The  Swedish  king  Charles  XII.  is  sometimes  called  the  "Madman 
of  the  North." 

Heroes  are  much  the  same,  the  point's  agreed. 
From  Macedonia's  madman  to  the  Swede. 

Pope. 

"  A  nation  which  can  fight,"  think  the  Gazetteers,  ".  .  .  and  is  led  on  by  its  king,  too, 
who  may  prove,  in  his  way,  a  very  Charles  XII.,  or  small  Macedonia's  Madman,  for  aught 
one  knows;"  in  which  latter  branch  of  their  prognostic  the  Gazetteers  were  much  out.— Car- 

LYLE. 

Machine,  an  epithet,  with  a  sting  of  reproach,  for  the  managing  spirits 
in  the  organization  of  political  parties  in  the  United  States.  The  machine 
consists  of  those  persons  affiliated  with  a  political  party  (as  distinguished 
from  the  mass  of  voters)  who,  from  ambition  or  for  profit,  follow  politics  as  a 
profession,  arrange  the  nominating  conventions,  and  assume  control  of  elec- 


682  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

tions.  The  political  machine  is  a  highly-perfected  organism,  extending  from 
the  chairman  of  the  State  committee  down  to  the  "captain"  of  a  voting  dis- 
trict. At  times  its  decisions  in  political  matters  are  in  direct  opposition  to 
the  wishes  of  large  portions  or  even  the  bulk  of  the  voters  affiliated  with 
the  party  of  which  it  is  the  engine.  These  latter  then  have  four  courses 
open  to  them.  They  may  "scratch"  objectionable  candidates,  organize  a  bolt, 
fritter  away  their  strength  by  unorganized  independent  voting,  or  perforce 
accept  the  dictates  of  the  machine  for  the  party's  sake.  The  name  is  some- 
times derived  from  the  times  of  the  old  volunteer  fire-companies  when  these 
organizations  were  an  influential  factor  in  politics  in  most  American  cUies  ; 
"  to  run  wid  de  machine"  meant  to  be  associated  with  one  of  the  volunteer 
fire-companies,  and,  ipso  facto,  to  belong  to  a  political  coterie.  The  word, 
however,  has  been  used  in  the  general  sense  of  political  organization  since 
early  in  the  present  century.  It  was  used  in  this  very  sense  by  the  Duke  of 
Wellington  in  a  letter  to  Thomas  Raikes,  September  12,  1845,  when  speaking 
of  the  change  effected  by  the  growth  of  democratic  sentiment  on  the  deliber- 
ations of  the  House  of  Commons  :  "  Such  is  the  operation  of  the  machine, 
as  now  established,  that  no  individual,  be  his  character,  conduct  in  antecedent 
circumstances,  and  his  abilities,  what  they  may,  can  have  any  personal  influ- 
ence in  general.  •  .  .  Scarcely  an  individual  is  certain  of  his  political 
existence." 

Mad  -world,  my  masters.  This  proverbial  expression,  frequently  but 
wrongly  attributed  to  Shakespeare,  has  been  taken  by  Middleton  as  the  title 
of  a  play,  "A  Mad  World,  my  Masters"  (1608).  Taylor,  the  Water  Poet, 
probably  had  Middleton  in  mind  when  he  wrote, — 

'Tis  a  mad  world  (my  masters)  and  in  sadnes 

I  travail'd  madly  in  these  dayes  of  madnes. 

Wandering  to  see  the  Wonders  of  the  West  (1649). 

The  imputation,  of  course,  is  a  very  old  one.  Thus,  Plautus,  "  Hei  mihi, 
insanire  me  ajunt,  ultro  cum  ipsi  insaniunt"  (Mettack.,  v.  2).  But  the  par- 
ticular phrase  is  not,  apparently,  found  in  any  author  before  Middleton. 

Madstones,  or  Snakestones,  stones  which  are  vulgarly  believed  to  have 
the  power  of  absorbing  the  virus  from  wounds  caused  by  serpents,  mad  dogs, 
poisoned  arrows,  etc.  The  belief  is  not  a  modern  one  :  it  has  existed  among 
the  Orientals  for  centuries,  and  is  frequently  mentioned  by  early  travellers  in 
the  East.     Jean  Baptiste  Tavernier,  in  his  "Travels  in  India"  {1677),  says, — 

I  will  finally  make  mention  of  the  snakestone,  which  is  nearly  of  the  size  of  a  double  doub- 
loon [a  Spanish  gold  coin],  some  of  them  tending  to  an  oval  shape,  being  thick  in  the  middle 
and  becoming  thin  towards  the  edges.  The  Indians  say  that  it  grows  on  the  heads  of  certain 
snakes,  but  I  should  rathei  believe  that  it  is  the  priests  of  the  idolaters  who  make  them  think 
so,  and  that  this  stone  is  a  composition  which  is  made  of  certain  drugs.  Whatever  it  maybe, 
it  has  an  excellent  virtue  in  extracting  all  the  poison  when  one  has  been  bitten  by  a  poison- 
ous animal.  If  the  part  bitten  is  not  punctured  it  is  necessary  to  make  an  incision  so  that  the 
blood  may  flow;  and  when  the  stone  has  been  applied  to  it.  it  does  not  fall  off  until  it  has 
extracted  all  the  venom,  which  is  drawn  to  it.  In  order  to  clean  it  it  is  steeped  in  woman's 
milk,  or,  in  default  of  it,  in  that  of  a  cow  :  and  after  having  been  steeped  for  ten  or  twelve 
hours,  the  milk,  which  has  absorbed  all  the  venom,  assumes  the  color  of  matter.  One  day 
when  I  dined  wiih  the  Archbishop  of  Goa  he  took  me  into  his  museum,  where  he  had  many 
curiosities.  Among  other  things  he  showed  me  one  of  the~e  stones,  and  in  telling  me  of  its 
properties  assured  me  that  it  was  but  three  days  since  he  had  made  a  trial  of  it,  after  which 
he  presented  it  to  me.  As  he  traversed  a  marsh  on  the  island  of  Salselte,  upon  which  Goa  is 
situated,  on  his  way  to  a  house  in  the  country,  one  of  his  palanquin-bearers,  who  was  almost 
naked,  was  bitten  by  a  serpent,  and  was  at  once  cured  by  this  stone.  I  have  bought  many 
of  them,  and  it  is  that  which  makes  me  think  that  they  make  them.  You  employ  two 
methods  to  ascertain  if  the  snakestone  is  good  and  that  there  is  no  fraud.  The  first  is  by 
placing  the  stone  in  the  mouth,  for  then,  if  is  good,  it  leaps  and  attaches  itself  immediately 
to  the  palate.  The  other  is  to  place  it  in  a  glassful  of  water,  and  immediately  if  it  is  genuine 
the  water  begins  to  boil. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  683 

The  stone  may  have  been  tabasheer  or  other  absorptive  stone,  which  might 
act  as  a  sort  of  blotting-paper  to  the  wound  when  it  is  open  enough,  but 
would  hardly  be  recommended  by  physicians  as  an  antidote.  The  madstones 
of  America  are  also  some  aluminous  shale  or  other  absorptive  substance. 

Maggot  bites,  When  the, — i.e.,  when  one  is  seized  with  a  whim.  Paral- 
lel figures  of  speech  are  the  Scotch  saying  "  He  has  his  head  full  of  bees" 
(see  Bees  in  his  Bonnet),  the  French  "II  a  des  rats  dans  la  tete,"  and  the 
Dutch  "  He  has  a  mouse's  nest  in  his  head."  But  the  "biting  maggot"  is  all 
Swift's  own.  He  tells  of  the  discovery  of  certain  virtuosi  that  the  brain  is 
filled  with  little  worms  or  maggots,  and  that  thought  is  produced  by  these 
worms  biting  the  nerves.  "If  the  bite  is  hexagonal,  it  produces  poetry;  if 
circular,  eloquence ;  if  conical,  politics,"  etc.  ( The  Mechanical  Operation  of 
the  Spirit.) 

To  tickle  the  maggot  bom  in  empty  head. 

Tennyson:  Maud. 

Magna  Charta  is  such  a  fellow  that  he  will  have  no  sovereign. 

This  famous  phrase  was  used  by  Sir  Edward  Coke,  May  17,  1628,  during  the 
debate  in  the  House  of  Lords  on  the  Petition  of  Right.  Here  is  the  context : 
"Sovereign  Power  is  no  parliamentary  word.  In  my  opinion  it  weakens 
Magna  Charta  and  all  our  Statutes ;  for  they  are  absolute,  without  any  saving 
of  sovereign  power  ;  and  shall  we  now  add  it,  we  shall  weaken  the  foundation 
of  law,  and  then  the  building  must  needs  fall.  Take  we  heed  what  we  yield  unto. 
Magna  Charta  is  such  a  fellow  that  he  will  have  no  sovereign.  If  we  grant 
this,  by  implication  we  give  a  sovereign  power  above  all  these  laws.  We 
must  not  admit  of  it ;  and  to  qualify  it  is  impossible.  Let  us  hold  our  privi- 
leges according  to  the  law." — i  Rushworth,  568. 

Magna  est  Veritas  et  praevalebit  (L.,  "Truth  is  mighty  and  will  pre- 
vail"), a  mediaeval  proverb,  probably  a  reminiscence  of  "  Great  is  truth,  and 
mighty  above  all  things"  (/.  Esdras  iv.  41),  which  in  the  Greek  runs  (leyulr}  ^ 
a?i7idEia  Kol  vTTEpiaxvei,  and  in  the  Vulgate  is  translated  "Magna  est  Veritas  et 
praevalet."  (I.  Esdias  of  the  English  Apocrypha  is  numbered  III.  Esdras  in 
the  Vulgate.)  The  substitution  of  the  more  sonorous  future  tense  for  the 
present  is  undoubtedly  due  to  the  popular  instinct  for  euphony. 

Truth  (like  the  sun  itself,  especially  in  England)  is  so  often  under  a  cloud  that  a  proverb  is 
wanted  to  support  waverers.  When  the  appearances  are  dead  against  them, — when  the 
majorities  are  massed,  as  commonly  they  must  always  be,  on  the  side  of  error,  and  in  their 
Philistine  force  seem  sure  of  victory, — it  is  then  that  a  wise  saw  is  wanted  to  tell  the  fainting 
ones  that  the  battle  is  not  to  the  seeming  strong,  but  that  truth  is  great,  and  will  prevail  at 
last.  "  Magna  est  Veritas,  et  praevalebit."  Here  you  have  sound  and  sense  more  pertinent 
to  the  occasion  and  fuller  to  the  ear  than  if  the  words  in  Esdras  were  more  strictly  kept  to. — 
C.  A.  Ward,  in  Notes  and  Queries,  seventh  series,  iv.  92. 

Suppose  we  were  to  invite  volunteers  amongst  our  respected  readers  to  send  in  little  state- 
ments of  the  lies  which  they  know  have  been  told  about  themselves  :  what  a  heap  of  corre- 
spondence, what  an  exaggeration  of  malignities,  what  a  crackling  bonfire  of  incendiary  false- 
hoods, might  we  not  gather  together !  And  a  lie  once  set  going,  having  the  breath  of  life 
breathed  into  it  by  the  father  of  lying,  and  ordered  to  run  its  diabolical  little  course,  lives  with 
a  prodigious  vitality.  You  say.  "  Magna  est  Veritas  et  praevalebit."  Psha  !  great  lies  are  as 
great  as  great  truths,  and  prevail  constantly,  and  day  after  day.  Take  an  instance  or  two  out 
of  my  own  little  budget.  I  sit  near  a  gentleman  at  dinner,  and  the  conversation  turns  upon 
a  certain  anonymous  literary  performance  which  at  the  time  is  amusing  the  town.  "  Oh," 
says  the  gentleman,  "  everybody  knows  who  wrote  that  paper:  it  is  Momus's."  I  was  a 
young  author  at  the  time,  perhaps  proud  of  my  bantling.  "  I  beg  your  pardon,"  I  say,  "  it 
was  written  by  your  humble  servant."  "Indeed!"  was  all  that  the  man  replied,  and  he 
shrugged  his  shoulders,  turned  his  back,  and  talked  to  his  other  neighbor.  I  never  heard 
sarcastic  incredulity  more  finely  conveyed  than  by  that  "  indeed."  "  Impudent  liar"  the 
gentleman's  face  said,  as  clear  as  face  could  speak.  Where  was  Magna  Veritas,  and  how 
did  she  prevail  then  ?  She  lifted  up  her  voice,  she  made  her  appeal,  and  she  was  kicked  out 
of  court. — Thackbray  :  Roundabout  Papers. 


684  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Magnificent,  but  not  w^ar.  General  Pierre  Bosquet,  when  he  saw  the 
six  hundred  dash  to  their  death  at  Balaklava  (October  28,  1854),  uttered  the 
famous  phrase,  "  C'est  magnifique,  mais  ce  n'est  pas  la  guerre."  As  a  criticism 
on  that  blundering  bit  of  heroism,  the  phrase  in  its  straightforward  sense  is 
excellent,  but  it  is  now  sometimes  twisted  out  of  its  original  meaning  and 
quoted  ironically  as  a  condemnation  of  the  martinet  mind  which  places  the 
letter  above  the  spirit,  the  mind  which  Macaulay  admirably  ridicules  in  his 
essay  on  Byron  :  "  We  have  heard  of  an  old  German  officer  who  was  a  great 
admirer  of  correctness  in  military  operations.  He  used  to  revile  Bonaparte 
for  spoiling  the  science  of  war,  which  had  been  carried  to  such  an  exquisite 
perfection  by  Marshal  Daun.  In  my  youth  we  used  to  march  and  counter- 
march all  the  summer  without  gaining  or  losing  a  square  league,  and  then  we 
went  into  winter  quarters.  And  now  comes  an  ignorant,  hot-headed  young 
man  who  flies  from  Boulogne  to  Ulm,  and  from  Ulm  to  the  middle  of  Mora- 
via, and  fights  battles  in  December.  The  whole  system  of  his  tactics  is  mon- 
strously incorrect." 

There  are  some  defeats  which  are  more  glorious  than  victories  ;  some  failures  which  are 
grander  than  the  most  briUiant  success.  The  charge  of  the  Light  Brigade  at  Balaklava  was  a 
useless  waste  of  life ;  yet  we  doubt  if  any  feat  of  arms  in  modern  times  ever  had  so  fine  a 
moral  effect  as  that  piece  of  heroic  stupidity.  In  like  manner  these  gallant  seamen  have 
failed  to  reach  the  pole ;  but  they  have  won  a  proud  place  in  their  country's  annals. 
They  have  done  Englishmen  good.  Pity  it  is  that  we  should  have  to  say,  as  the  military 
critic  did  of  that  other  deed  we  spoke  of  but  now,  C'est  7nagnifique ,  mais  ce  n'est  pas  la 
guerre. — Quarterly  Review. 

Mahomet  and  the  Mountain.  Bacon,  in  his  essay  on  "  Boldness,"  tells 
the  following  story  as  an  instance  of  successful  audacity  :  "  Mahomet  made 
the  people  believe  he  would  call  a  hill  to  him  and  from  the  top  of  it  offer  up 
his  prayers  for  the  observers  of  his  law.  The  people  assembled  :  Mahomet 
called  the  hill  to  come  to  him  again  and  again,  and  when  the  hill  stood  still  he 
was  never  a  whit  abashed,  but  said,  '  If  the  hill  will  not  come  to  Mahomet,  Ma- 
homet will  come  to  the  hill.'"  Obviously,  this  story  is  the  original  of  the 
familiar  proverb,  "  If  the  mountain  will  not  go  to  Mahomet,  let  Mahomet  go 
to  the  mountain,"  which  is  found  in  other  languages  than  the  English,  and 
means,  "  If  we  cannot  do  what  we  will,  let  us  do  what  we  can." 

It  would  be  interesting  to  know  where  Bacon  got  this  story.  It  is  not  in 
any  of  the  early  biographies,  naturally  enough.  They  do  record  that  a  tree 
from  a  distance  moved  towards  the  Prophet,  ploughing  up  the  earth  as  it  ad- 
vanced, and  then  similarly  retired.  But  in  the  Koran  the  Prophet  expressly 
disclaimed  the  power  of  working  miracles. 

Maiden  Assize,  in  former  times,  an  assize  at  which  no  criminal  was 
left  for  execution,  the  word  "  maiden"  being  here  used  figuratively,  as  it  is  in 
such  expressions  as  "  maiden  fortress,"  a  fortress  which  has  never  yielded  to  or 
been  forced  by  an  enemy.  Similarly  we  have  expressions  like  "  virgin  snow," 
the  snow  on  mountain-tops,  which  has  never  been  defiled  or  trod  upon.  The 
Jungfrau  (lit.,  the  "  maiden"  or  "  virgin")  was  so  called  because  no  one  had 
ever  made  the  ascent,  though  latterly  the  feat  has  been  accomplished. 

At  maiden  assizes  it  was  customary  for  the  sheriff  of  the  county  to  present 
the  judge  making  the  itinerary  of  the  circuit  with  a  pair  of  white  gloves, 
emblematic  of  purity. 

Main-brace,  To  splice  the.  The  main-brace  is  the  rope  by  which  the 
main-sail  of  a  ship  is  placed  in  position.  To  splice  it  is  to  join  it  when  broken 
or  to  repair  it  when  injured.  Hence  the  expression  "  to  splice  the  main-brace" 
is  proverbial  among  seamen  for  taking  a  drink  of  strong  liquor  to  strengthen 
or  fit  them  for  extra  exertion,  or  to  enable  them  to  bear  up  against  exposure 
to  cold  or  wet  weather. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  685 

Maine  Law.  Maine  was  the  first  State  which  by  an  act  of  its  Legislature 
(1851)  placed  a  stringent  prohibition  on  the  sale  of  intoxicating  drinks. 
Hence  the  term  is  often  used  colloquially  as  a  designation  of  prohibitory 
laws  in  general,  as  one  would  say,  "  Kansas,  or  Iowa,  has  adopted  a  '  Maine' 
law." 

Maitre  Gonin,  a  name  which  in  France  survives  as  the  synonyme  for  a 
cunning  rogue,  especially  in  the  proverbial  phrase  "  Un  tour  de  Maitre  Go- 
nin" ("A  trick  of  Master  Gonin's"),  meaning  a  very  sly  and  artful  trick. 
Menage  mentions  only  to  reject  the  etymology  which  derives  the  word  from 
the  Hebrew  ^fK/wwt'w,  a  diviner,  an  enchanter.  But  Court  de  Gebelin  thinks 
that  Gonin  is  derived  immediately  from  the  English  ainnmg,  while  that  word 
in  its  turn,  with  all  its  Teutonic  and  Grecian  analogues,  comes  from  the  same 
root-form  as  the  Hebrew  gwunen.  "The  English,"  he  says,  "associating 
Cutuimg  ^\'i\\.  Man,  make  the  compound  word  Cunning-Man,  which  signifies 
diviner,  enchanter,  a  man  who  does  great  things,  who  is  very  skilful  ;  it  corre- 
sponds, therefore,  to  the  Hebrew  word  gwunen.  ...  Let  us  not  be  astonished 
to  recognize  this  word,  so  common  to  all  peoples,  and  so  ancient :  it  comes 
with  the  rest  from  a  common  source,  from  higher  Asia,  the  cradle  of  all  these 
peoples  and  of  their  languages."  Menage  and  Gebelin  ought  to  have  known 
that  Maitre  Gonin  was  a  French  conjurer  who  flourished  in  the  days  of 
Francis  I.,  before  whom  he  is  said  to  have  made  an  exhibition  of  his  art  per- 
fectly in  keeping  with  the  profligate  manners  of  the  time  and  of  that  especial 
court.  "  He  was  a  man  very  subtle  and  expert  in  his  art,"  says  Brantome, 
"and  his  grandson,  whom  we  have  seen,  was  fully  his  equal."  Grandfather 
and  grandson  having  been  at  the  head  of  their  profession,  the  name  passed 
into  a  proverbial  expression,  and  survived  all  memory  of  the  men. 

Majority.  "He  has  joined  the  majority" — i.e..  He  is  dead — is  the  Eng- 
lish form  of  the  Latin  phrase  Abiit  ox  penetravit  ad phires.  In  the  "Trinum- 
mus"  of  Plautus  (ii.  2,  14),  Philto,  an  old  man,  winds  up  a  jeremiad  against  the 
corruptness  of  society  by  asking, — 

Quin  prius 
Ad  plures  penetravi? 
("  Why  did  I  not  die  before?") 
The  phrase  was  borrowed  by  the  Latins  from  the  Greeks.     That  it  was  an 
every-day  expression  at  Athens  may  be  inferred  from  its  use  by  Aristophanes 
in  "  Ecclesiazusae  :"  "^  ypavq  uveoTTjKvla  napd  riJv  nTieovdjv'^  ("The  old  woman 
having  gone  over  to  the  majority").     An  earlier  use  of  the  phrase,  probably 
the  earliest  known  to  history,  occurs  in  the  oracle's  reply  to  ^symnus  of 
Megara  (Pausanias,  i.  43)  : 

f)  vefiETu  rCyv  nTielovuv  (3ov7ievacjTac. 
It  is  to  be  regretted  that  in  English  the  vile  pleonasm  "  the  great  majority" 
is  creeping  into  common  use  as  a  euphuism  for  the  dead. 
The  cup  goes  round  : 
And  who  so  artful  as  to  put  it  by  ! 
'Tis  long  since  Death  had  the  majority. 

Blair  :   Tke  Grave,  ii.,  1.  449. 

Mammon  of  unrighteousness, — i.e.,  worldly  wealth,  earthly  riches. 
The  expression  occurs  in  the  parable  of  the  unjust  steward  (Lnke  xvi. 
9)  :  "I  say  unto  you.  Make  to  yourselves  friends  by  means  of  the  mammon 
of  unrighteousness  ;  that,  when  it  shall  fail,  they  may  receive  you  into  the 
eternal  tabernacles"  (Revised  Version).  Again,  "If  therefore  ye  have  not 
been  faithful  in  the  unrighteous  mammon,  who  will  commit  to  your  trust  the 
true  riches  ?"  (Ibid.,  verse  11.)  Mammon  is  also  used  as  a  designation  of  the 
god  of  the  worldly  as  contrasted  with  the  God  of  Light :  "Ye  cannot  serve 
58 


686  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

God  and  mammon"  (Ibid.,  verse  13),  which  last  sentence  also  occurs  in  the 
Sermon  on  the  Mount,  as  reported  in  Matthew  vi.  24.  In  the  Chaldee 
Targums  and  Onkelos,  and  later  writers,  and  in  the  Syriac  version,  the  word 
mammon  is  used  with  the  signification  of  riches.  Mediaeval  writers  make 
Mammon  the  chief  of  one  of  the  nine  orders  of  devils,  and  Wierus  in  his 
account  of  the  court  of  Beelzebub  makes  him  its  ambassador  to  England. 
Spenser  makes  of  him  a  sort  of  Plutus,  and  has  a  wonderful  description  of 
the  cave  of  Mammon  and  the  adventures  there  of  Sir  Guyon  {Faerie  Queetie, 
Book  ii.,  canto  7),  and  Milton  includes  Mammon  as  one  of  the  chief  of  the 
fallen  angels : 

Mammon,  the  least  erected  spirit  that  fell 

From  heaven  ;  for  even  in  heaven  his  looks  and  thoughts 

Were  always  downward  bent,  admiring  more 

The  riches  of  heaven's  pavement,  trodden  gold. 

Than  aught  divine  and  holy  else  enjoyed. 

Faradise  Lost,  Book  i. 

Man.  There  is  no  finer  bit  of  prose  in  all  literature  than  Hamlet's  de- 
scription of  the  world  and  of  man  : 

This  goodly  frame,  the  earth,  seems  to  me  a  sterile  promontory ;  this  most  excellent 
canopy,  the  air,  look  you,  this  brave  o'erhanging  firmament,  this  majestical  roof  fretted  with 
golden  fire,  why,  it  appears  no  other  thing  to  me  than  a  foul  and  pestilent  congregation  of 
vapors.  What  a  piece  of  work  is  a  man  !  how  noble  in  reason  !  how  infinite  in  faculty  !  in 
form  and  moving  how  express  and  admirable  !  in  action  how  like  an  angel !  in  apprehension 
how  like  a  god  \^Hamlel,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  2. 

Sir  Thomas  Browne,  with  a  touch  of  his  quaint  humor,  says,  in  "  Urn- 
Burial,"  ch.  v.,  "  Man  is  a  noble  animal,  splendid  in  ashes  and  pompous  in 
the  grave."  Christian  dogma  recognizes  a  dual  nature  in  man  :  "  The  first 
man  is  of  the  earth,  earthy  :  the  second  man  is  the  Lord  from  heaven.  .  .  . 
And  as  we  have  borne  the  image  of  the  earthy,  we  shall  also  bear  the  image 
of  the  heavenly."  (/.  Corinthians  xv.  47,  49.)     Pope  amplifies  the  thought : 

Chaos  of  thought  and  passion,  all  confused  ; 

Still  by  himself  abused  or  disabused ; 

Created  half  to  rise,  and  half  to  fall  ; 

Great  lord  of  all  things,  yet  a  prey  to  all ; 

Sole  judge  of  truth,  in  endless  error  hurled, — 

The  glory,  jest,  and  riddle  of  the  world. 

Essay  on  Man,  Ep.  ii.,  1.  13. 

But  these  lines  are  hardly  more  than  a  metrical  translation  of  a  passage 
from  Pascal : 


What  a  chimera,  then,  is  man!  what  a  novelty,  what  a  monster,  what  a  chaos,  what  a 
subject  of  contradiction,  what  a  prodigy  !  A  judge  of  all  things,  feeble  worm  of  the  earth, 
depositary  of  the  truth,  cloaca  of  uncertainty  and  error,  the  glory  and  the  shame  of  the 
universe. —  Thoughts,  ch.  x. 


Byron,  in  "  Don  Juan,"  has  the  exclamation, — 

What  a  strange  thing  is  man  !  and  what  a  stranger 

Is  woman  !  Canto  ix.,  Stanza  64. 

And  in  "  Manfred,"  Act  i.,  Sc  2,  he  describes  man  as 
Half  dust,  half  deity,  alike  unfit 
To  sink  or  soar. 

Compare  this  with  Churchill's 

Half  earthly  dust  and  half  ethereal  fire, 
Too  proud  to  sink,  too  lowly  to  aspire, 

and  you  will  pardon  the  plagiarism  in  recognition  of  the  superiority  of 
Byron's  direct  and  simple  recast  of  the  turgid  original.  Another  fine  phrase 
of  Byron's  appears  to  be  his  own  : 

Man  ! 
Thou  pendulum  betwixt  a  smile  and  tear. 

Chiide  Harold,  Canto  iv.,  Stanza  it39. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  687 

Man.  The  proper  study  of  mankind  is  man.  No  lines  in  Pope  are 
better  known  than  these  : 

Know  then  thyself,  presume  not  God  to  scan ; 
man. 
Essay  on  Man,  Ep.  ii.,  1.  i. 

At  the  very  opening  of  the  Essay,  Epistle  i.,  I.  i,  he  had  said, — 
Awake,  my  St.  John  !  leave  all  meaner  things 
To  low  ambition  and  the  pride  of  kings. 
Let  us  (since  life  can  litlle  more  supply 
Than  just  to  look  about  us,  and  to  die) 
Expatiate  free  o'er  all  this  scene  of  man  ; 
A  mighty  maze  !  but  not  without  a  plan. 

The  thought,  of  course,  is  very  old,  but  the  neat  epigrammaticism  of  the  state- 
ment, and  especially  of  the  second  line  in  the  first  quotation,  makes  it  cling 
forever  in  the  mind.     Here  are  a  very  few  of  its  ancestors  : 

Trees  and  fields  tell  me  nothing  :  men  are  my  teachers.  — Plato  :  Pkadrus. 
La  vray  science  et  le  vray  etude  de  I'homme  c'est  I'homme  ("  The  true  science  and  the  true 
study  of  man  is  man").— Charron  :  De  la  Sagesse,  lib.  i.,  ch.  i. 
There  is  no  theme  more  plentiful  to  scan 
Than  is  the  glorious  goodly  frame  of  man. 

Du  Bartas  :  Days  and  Weeks  :   Third  Day. 

Goethe,  in  conversation  with  Eckermann,  paraphrased  Pope's  line  :  "  Man 
alone  is  interesting  to  man." 

Man  (A)  is  as  old  as  he  feels,  a  woman  as  old  as  she  looks.     In  a 

breach  of  promise  case  in  Liverpool  the  presiding  judge  delivered  himself 
of  two  aphorisms  worthy  of  preservation.  The  defendant's  counsel  having 
argued  that  the  lady  had  a  lucky  escape  from  one  who  had  proved  so  incon- 
stant, the  judge  remarked  that  "  what  the  woman  loses  is  the  man  as  he  ought 
to  be."  Afterwards,  when  there  was  a  debate  as  to  the  advisability  of  a  mar- 
riage between  a  man  of  forty-nine  and  a  girl  of  twenty,  his  lordship  remarked 
that  "a  man  is  as  old  as  he  feels,  a  woman  as  old  as  she  looks." — Appletons' 
Journal,  July  2,  1870. 

Man  may  do  what  man  has  done,  a  common  English  proverb,  found 
also  in  other  languages  : 

And  all  may  do  what  has  by  man  been  done. 

Young  :  Night  Thoughts,  vi.,  1.  606. 

I  dare  do  all  that  may  become  a  man ; 
Who  dares  do  more  is  none. 

Macbeth,  k^c\.\.,'S>z.  s- 
What  man  dare,  I  dare  ; 
Approach  thou  like  the  rugged  Russian  bear. 
The  arm'd  rhinoceros,  or  the  Hyrcan  tiger, — 
Take  any  shape  but  that,  and  my  firm  nerves 
Shall  never  tremble. 

Ibid.,  Act  iii..  So.  4. 

Man  of  Destiny,  a  sobriquet  of  Napoleon  I.,  who  assumed  that  all  his 
actions  were  guided  by  fate,  and  that  he  was  the  chosen  instrument  of  destiny. 
Goethe  said  to  Eckermann  in  1828,  "Napoleon  was  the  man.  His  life  was 
the  stride  of  a  denii-god.  He  was  a  fellow  \Kerl\  whom  we  cannot  imitate." 
The  sobriquet  \s  often  used  colloquially.  At  a  public  banquet  given  in  Buf- 
falo, New  York,  in  the  spring  of  1883,  at  which  Grover  Cleveland,  then  Gov- 
ernor of  New  York,  and  his  staff  were  present.  Congressman  Farquhar,  who 
was  toast-master,  introduced  him  to  make  the  response  to  the  toast  to  the 
State  of  New  York,  and,  referring  to  him  as  the  "man  of  destiny,"  noting  the 


688  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

quick  and  successive  rise  of  Governor  Cleveland  to  the  position  he  then  held, 
prophesied  still  greater  things  in  store  for  him. 

Man  of  Ross,  the  name  by  which  John  Kyrle  (1664-1754),  a  citizen  of  the 
town  of  Ross,  in  Herefordshire,  has  been  celebrated  by  Pope  and  Coleridge. 
It  was  originally  given  him  during  his  lifetime,  by  a  country  friend,  and  the 
title  is  said  to  have  greatly  pleased  him.  Kyrle  was  a  gentleman  of  remark- 
able benevolence  and  public  spirit,  who  with  an  income  of  only  five  hundred 
pounds  a  year  actually  performed  all  the  worthy  deeds  chronicled  in  these 
lines  from  Pope's  tribute  : 

But  all  our  praises  why  should  lords  engross  ? 

Rise,  honest  muse  !  and  sing  the  Man  of  Ross. 

Pleased  Vaga  echoes  through  her  winding  bounds. 

And  rapid  Severn  hoarse  applause  resounds. 

Who  hung  with  woods  yon  mountain's  sultry  brow? 

From  the  dry  rock  who  bade  the  waiers  flow? 

Not  to  the  skies  in  useless  columns  tust, 

Or  in  proud  falls  magnificently  lost, 

But  clear  and  artless,  pouring  through  the  plain 

Health  to  the  sick  and  solace  to  the  swain. 

Whose  causeway  parts  the  vale  with  shady  rows  ? 

Whose  seats  the  weary  traveller  repose? 

Who  taught  that  heaven-directed  spire  to  rise? 

"  The  Man  of  Ross,"  each  lisping  babe  replies. 

Moral  Essays,  Ep.  iii.,  On  the  Use  0/  Riches. 

Man  proposes,  but  God  disposes,  a  proverb  common  to  all  languages. 
It  is  frequently  attributed  to  Thomas  a  Kenipis,  and  it  does  in  fact  appear 
in  the  "  Imitation  of  Christ,"  book  i.,  ch.  xix.  But  it  far  antedates  him.  Even 
in  England  it  takes  exactly  this  form  in  the  "Chronicle  of  Battel  Abbey"  and 
in  "The  Vision  of  Piers  Plowman."  In  sentiment  it  agrees  with  the  fatal- 
istic doctrines  of  the  East,  as,  for  example,  the  Chinese  aphorism, — 
Man  says,  so  !  so  ! 
Heaven  says,  no,  no, 

an  aphorism  of  immemorial  antiquity.  Analogues  may  also  be  found  in  the 
Bible  and  in  classical  antiquity  : 

A  man's  heart  deviseth  his  way,  but  the  Lord  directeth  his  steps.— /'rowriJj  xvi.  9. 

The  lot  is  cast  into  the  lap,  but  the  whole  disposing  thereof  is  of  the  Lord. — Ibid.,  33. 

For  that  ye  ought  to  say.  If  the  Lord  will,  we  shall  live,  and  do  this  or  \\\3.x.— James  iv.  15. 

I  shall  throw  the  javelin,  but  its  destination  is  in  the  hands  of  the  Almighty.— Homer  : 
Iliad,  xvii.  515. 

I  now  hope,  but  the  event  is  with  God  alone.— Pindar  :  Olympus,  xui.  149. 

Whatever  was  the  duty  of  brave  men,  they  were  all  ready  to  perform,  but  the  Sovereign 
Lord  of  the  universe  decided  the  fate  of  each.— Demosthenes  :  De  Corona,  1209. 

Man  wants  but  little  here  below.  Young,  in  his  "  Night  Thoughts," 
iv.,  says, — 

Man  wants  but  little,  nor  that  little  long. 
Goldsmith,  two  generations  later,  in  a  ballad  called  indifferently  "  The  Her- 
mit" and  "  Edwin  and  Angelina,"  has, — 

Man  wants  but  little  here  below. 
Nor  wants  that  little  long. 
It  is  said,  however,  that  Goldsmith's  couplet  was  first  printed  in  inverted 
commas,  to  mark  the  obligation.  The  apparently  trifling  change  in  the  phrase 
just  gives  it  the  neatness  which  is  required  for  insuring  proverbial  currency. 
Few  lines  in  English  verse  have  been  more  quoted,  parodied,  burlesqued.  It 
would  be  impossible  to  chronicle  the  changes  that  have  been  rung  on  the  very 
obvious  perversion  of  which  this  is  but  a  single  form  : 

Man  wants  but  little  here  below. 
But  wants  that  little  strong. 
A  much  higher  form  of  humor  is  illustrated  in  Dr.  Holmes's  poem  "  Con- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  689 

tentment,"  which  originally  appeared  in  the  "Autocrat  of  the  Breakfast- 
Table."  It  quotes  Goldsmith's  first  line  as  an  epigraph.  Here  are  the 
opening  stanzas  : 

Little  I  ask,  my  wants  are  few; 

I  only  wish  a  hut  of  stone 
(A  very  plain  brown  stone  will  do) 

That  I  may  call  my  own  ; 
And  close  at  hand  is  such  a  one, 
In  yonder  street  that  fronts  the  sun. 

Plain  food  is  quite  enough  for  me  ; 

Three  courses  are  as  good  as  ten  ; 
If  Nature  can  subsist  on  three. 

Thank  heaven  for  three.  Amen  ! 
I  always  thought  cold  victual  nice : 
My  choice  would  be  vanilla  ice. 

Douglas  Jerrold  has  a  prose  passage  which  is  identical  in  spirit  and 
humor : 

You  will  hear  a  good,  lowly  creature  sing  the  praises  of  pure  v^^ater — call  it  the  wine  of 
Adam  when  he  walked  in  Paradise — when,  somehow.  Fate  has  bestowed  on  the  eulogist  the 
finest  Burgundy.  He  declares  himself  contented  with  a  crust,  although  a  beneficent  fairy 
has  hung  a  fat  haunch  or  two  in  his  larder.  And  then,  for  woman,  he  asks,  what  is  all 
beauty  but  skin-deep  ?  Behold  the  lawful  bedfellow  of  the  querist.  Why,  Destiny  has  tied 
him  to  an  angel— a  perfect  angel,  save  that  for  a  time  she  has  laid  aside  her  wings  !  Now, 
is  it  not  delightful  to  see  these  humble  folk,  who  tune  their  tongues  to  the  honor  of  dry 
bread  and  water,  compelled  by  the  gentle  force  of  fortune  to  chew  venison  and  swallow  claret? 
The  singer  of  the  following  lines  is  more  boldly  frank  : 
"  Man  wants  but  little  here  below. 

Nor  wants  that  little  long." 
'Tis  not  with  me  exactly  so. 

But  'tis  so  in  the  song. 
My  wants  are  many,  and  if  told 
Would  muster  many  a  score  ; 
And  were  each  wish  a  mint  of  gold, 
I  still  should  long  for  more. 

John  Quincy  Adams  :   The  Wants  of  Man. 

Long  before  Young  or  Goldsmith,  however,  and  as  frequently  since,  poets 
and  philosophers  have  taught  the  value  of  contentment,  the  worthlessness  of 
riches.  Pope's  "  Ode  on  Solitude,"  written,  so  he  tells  us,  in  his  twelfth  year, 
emphasizes  this  moral  : 

Happy  the  man  whose  wish  and  care 
A  few  paternal  acres  bound. 

Thus  let  me  live,  unseen,  unknown. 

Thus  unlamented  let  me  die. 
Steal  from  the  world,  and  not  a  stone 
Tell  where  I  lie. 
Cowper,  in  his  "Table-Talk,"  asserts  that 

Happiness  depends,  as  Nature  shows. 
Less  on  exterior  things  than  most  suppose. 

Line  246. 

What  happiness  does  depend  on  is  thus  stated  by  various  writers : 

An  elegant  sufficiency,  content. 

Retirement,  rural  quiet,  friendship,  books. 

Ease  and  alternate  labor,  useful  life. 

Progressive  virtue,  and  approving  Heaven  ! 

Thomson;   The  Seasons :  Spring,  \.  11 58. 
Mine  be  the  breezy  hill  that  skirts  the  down. 
Where  a  green  grassy  turf  is  all  1  crave. 
With  here  and  there  a  violet  bestrewn. 
Fast  by  a  brook  or  fountain's  murmuring  wave. 
And  many  an  evening  sun  shine  sweetly  on  my  grave  I 

Beattih  :   7 he  Minstrel,  Book  ii..  Stanza  17. 


58* 


690  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Some  have  too  much,  yet  still  do  crave  ; 

I  little  have,  and  seek  no  more  : 
They  are  but  poor,  though  much  they  have. 

And  I  am  rich  with  little  store  : 
They  poor,  I  rich  ;   they  beg,  I  give  ; 
They  lack,  I  have  ;   they  pine,  I  live. 

Edward  Dvek  :  My  Mind  to  me  a  Kingdom  is. 
Poor  and  content  is  rich,  and  rich  enough. 

Shakespeare  :   Othello,  Act  iii..  So.  2. 
Lord  of  thy  presence,  and  no  land  beside. 

Shakespeare  :  King  John,  Act  i.,  Sc.  i. 
The  loss  of  wealth  is  loss  of  dirt. 
As  sages  in  all  times  assert: 
The  happy  man's  wiihout  a  shirt. 

Heywood  :  Be  Merry,  Friends. 

Heywood  possibly  alludes  to  the  Oriental  story  of  the  monarch  who  as  a 
cure  for  melancholy  was  advised  to  wear  the  shirt  of  a  perfectly  happy  man. 
His  couriers  scoured  far  and  wide,  but  found  discontent  and  unhappiness 
everywhere.  At  last  they  ran  across  a  beggar  cheerily  singing  as  he  lay  by 
the  roadside  ;  and  when  he  replied  to  their  questioning  that  he  was  as  happy 
as  the  day  was  long,  they  offered  to  purchase  his  shirt.  "  I  have  no  shirt,"  was 
the  answer. 

Goldsmith,  himself,  has  put  his  own  moral  into  another  form : 

His  best  companions,  innocence  and  health  ; 
And  his  best  riches,  ignorance  of  wealth. 

The  Deserted  Village,  1.  61. 

Gay,  in  his  fable  of  "The  Vulture,  the  Sparrow,  and  other  Birds,"  breathes 
this  wish  : 

Give  me,  kind  Heaven,  a  private  station, 
A  mind  serene  for  contemplation  ! 
Title  and  profit  I  resign  ; 
The  post  of  honor  shall  be  mine  ; 

which  he  imitated  from  Addison  : 

When  vice  prevails,  and  impious  men  bear  sway, 
The  post  of  honor  is  a  private  station. 

Cato,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  4. 

Proverbial  philosophy,  too,  teaches  the  same  lesson.  "  Enough  is  as  good 
as  a  feast,"  say  the  English,  though  the  French  think  that  "There  is  not 
enough  if  there  is  not  too  much,"  a  proverb  which  Beaumarchais  applies  to 
love,  making  Figaro  say  of  that  divine  passion,  "  Too  much  is  not  enough." 
But  the  French  are  nothing  if  not  inconsistent.  -In  common  with  the  Italians, 
they  say,  "He  that  embraces  too  much  holds  nothing  fast."  A  statue  was 
erected  to  Buffon  in  his  lifetime  bearing  the  Latin  inscription  "  Naturam 
amplectitur  omnem"  ("  He  embraces  all  nature").  A  wag  thereupon  quoted 
the  Franco-Italian  proverb.     Buffon  promptly  had  the  inscription  obliterated. 

March  of  Intellect,  a  phrase  of  uncertain  origin  which  was  very  popular 
in  the  beginning  of  the  second  quarter  of  this  century.  Possibly  it  was  a 
recrudescence  of  Burke's  phrase,  "The  march  of  the  human  mind  is  slow," 
used  in  his  speech  on  the  Conciliation  of  America.  Nevertheless,  the  more 
modern  phrase  implied  that  the  march  is  as  expeditious  as  is  consistent  with 
an  orderly  advance.  This  is  the  sense  in  which  Carlyle  ridicules  it  in  his 
review  of  Goethe's  "  Helena"  (1828)  and  in  his  "Characteristics"  (1831).  In 
the  latter  he  says,  "  What  is  all  this  that  we  hear  for  the  last  generation  or 
two  about  the  Improvement  of  the  Age,  the  Spirit  of  the  Age,  Destruction  of 
Prejudice,  Progress  of  the  Species,  and  the  March  of  Intellect,  but  an  un- 
healthy state  of  self-sentience,  self-survey ;  the  precursor  and  prognostic  of 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  69 1 

still  worse  health  ?  That  Intellect  do  march,  if  possible  at  double-quick  time, 
is  very  desirable  ;  nevertheless,  why  should  she  turn  round  at  every  stride 
and  cry.  See  what  a  stride  I  have  taken  !  Such  a  marching  of  Intellect  is 
distinctly  of  the  spavined  kind  ;  what  the  Jockeys  call  'all  action  and  no  go.' 
Or,  at  best,  if  we  examine  well,  it  is  the  marching  of  that  gouty  Patient  whom 
his  Doctors  had  clapt  on  a  metal  floor  artificially  heated  to  the  searing-point, 
so  that  he  was  obliged  to  march,  and  did  march  with  a  vengeance — nowhiiher. 
Intellect  did  not  awaken  for  the  first  time  yesterday ;  but  has  been  under  way 
from  Noah's  flood  downwards  ;  greatly  her  best  progress,  moreover,  was  in 
the  old  times,  when  she  said  nothing  about  it."  Bartlett  refers  the  phrase  to 
Southey's  "  Colloquies,"  vol.  ii.  p.  360.  But,  as  that  book  was  not  published 
until  1829,  it  is  obvious  that  Southey  was  merely  echoing  a  popular  catch- 
word. 

Maria,  or,  more  commonly.  Black  Maria,  in  English  and  American 
slang,  the  prison-van  in  which  criminals  are  carried  to  and  from  the  court- 
house where  they  are  tried.  The  term  is  said  to  have  originated  in  Philadel- 
phia in  1838. 

No  one  freer,  no  one  greater, 

'Arry  cycles,  is  it  just 
Sarah  Anne's  perambulator 

Should  be  hobject  of  disgust? 
What's  the  reason,  tell  me  why,  ah ! 

Why  that  gig  with  children  nice 
Should  be  scorned  like  Black  Maria, 
Full  of  villany  and  vice  ? 

Ally  Sloper's  Half-Holiday. 

Although  I  had  no  motive  for  evading  her, 

'Twas  but  lately  that  I  came  across  her  track, 
And  two  stern-faced  men  were  forcibly  persuading  her 

To  enter  a  conveyance  painted  black. 
Aghast  at  conduct  seemingly  so  cruel,  base, 

And  wicked,  I  its  meaning  did  inquire ; 
Quoth  a  gamin,  She's  been  lifting  some  cove's  jewel-case, 

And  she's  going  for  a  ride  in  the  Mariar. 

Sporting  Times. 

Marines,  Tell  that  to  the.  The  marines  are  among  the  "jolly"  jack- 
tars  a  proverbially  gullible  lot,  capable  of  swallowing  any  yarn,  in  size  varying 
from  a  yawl-boat  to  a  full-rigged  frigate.  Hence  the  phrase,  uttered  with  a 
sceptical  inflection,  on  any  particularly  incredible  whopper  being  told,  "  Tell 
that  to  the  marines  :  the  blue-jackets  won't  believe  it." 

But,  whatsoe'er  betide,  ah,  Neuha  !  now 

Unman  me  not ;  the  hour  will  not  allow 

A  tear  ;  "  I'm  thine,  whatever  intervenes  !" 

"  Right,"  quoth  Ben ;  "  that  will  do  for  the  marines." 

Byron  :   The  Island. 

Marriages  eire  made  in  heaven,  a  common  proverb  in  England  and 
elsewhere.  In  Lyly's  "Mother  Bombie"  (1594),  Prisius  says,  "You  see 
marriage  is  destinie  made  in  heaven,  though  consummated  on  earth."  J. 
Wilson,  in  "  The  Cheats"  (1662),  has  the  exact  modern  expression  :  "  Good  sir, 
marriages  are  made  in  heaven"  (p.  106,  ed.  1874).  Shakespeare  makes 
Nerissa  say, — 

The  ancient  saying  is  no  heresy, — 
Hanging  and  wiving  goes  by  destiny, 

Merchant  of  Venice,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  9  ; 

and  this  is  probably  the  original  form.     Heywood,  for  example,  has, — 
Wedding  is  destiny. 
And  hanging  likewise, 

Proverbs,  Part  I.,  ch.  iii. ; 


692  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

and  the  Italians  say,  "  Nozze  e  magistrate  dal  cielo  e  destinato"  ("  Marriage 
and  the  magistrate  are  foreordained  by  heaven").  In  modern  times  the  phrase 
is  sometimes  changed  to  "  Matches  are  made  in  heaven,"  and  has  so  proved 
an  inestimable  boon  to  the  punster  : 

Though  matches  are  made  in  heaven,  they  say. 

Yet  Hymen  (who  mischief  oft  hatches) 
Sometimes  deals  with  the  house  t'other  side  of  the  way. 

And  there  they  make  Lucifer  matches. 

Samuel  Lover. 

I  hate  a  match.  I  feel  sure  that  brimstone  matches  were  never  made  in  heaven  ;  and  it 
is  sad  to  think  that,  with  few  exceptions,  matches  are  all  of  them  dipped  with  brimstone. — 
Donald  G.  Mitchell:  Reveries  of  a  Bactielor,  iii. 

Married  by  the  Hangman,  in  the  English  cant  language,  persons 
chained  or  handcuffed  together  in  order  to  be  conveyed  to  jail  or  on  board 
the  lighters  for  transportation.  Thus,  in  the  articles  of  war  of  the  Scottish 
expeditionary  army  of  1644  occurs  the  following  paragraph  :  "  If  any  common 
harlots  shall  be  found  following  the  army,  if  they  be  married  women,  and  run 
away  from  their  husbands,  they  shall  be  put  to  death  without  mercy,  and  if  they 
be  unmarried,  they  shall  first  be  married  by  the  hangman,  and  thereafter  by 
him  scourged  out  of  the  army."  (Quoted  in  Notes  and  Queries,  second  series, 
ix.  487.) 

Marry  in  haste  and  repent  at  leisure,  a  familiar  proverb  in  all  lan- 
guages. Sage,  poet,  humorist,  and  proverb-monger  all  have  had  their  fling 
at  matrimony : 

A  young  man  married  is  a  man  that's  marr'd, 

says  Parolles  in  "  All's  Well  that  Ends  Well,"  Act  ii.,  Sc.  3. 
The  Germans  say, — 

Der  Ehestand  ist  ein  Hiihner-Haus, 

Der  eine  will  hinein,  der  andre  will  heraus ; 

which  might  be  rendered, — 

The  marriage  state  is  like  a  coop  built  stout, — 
The  outs  would  fain  be  in,  the  ins  be  out. 

"There  is  an  English  parallel  to  this  rather  curious  illustration,"  says  Lloyd 
P.  Smith  in  Lippincott's  Magazine,  vol.  i.,  "  which  I  have  never  seen  in  print, 
but  I  heard  it  once  from  a  fair  lady's  lips,  in  my  hot  youth,  when  William  IV. 
was  king : 

Marriage  is  like  a  flaming  candle-light 
Placed  in  the  window  on  a  summer's  night. 
Inviting  all  the  insects  of  the  air 
To  come  and  singe  their  pretty  winglets  there : 
Those  that  are  out  butt  heads  against  the  pane. 
Those  that  are  in  butt  to  get  out  again." 

•'  Marriage  is  a  desperate  thing,"  says  old  Selden  :  "  the  frogs  in  .^sop  were 
extremely  wise  ;  they  had  a  great  mind  to  some  water,  but  they  would  not 
leap  into  the  well,  because  they  could  not  get  out  again."  The  French  say, 
"Wedlock  rides  in  the  saddle,  and  repentance  on  the  croup,"  which  recalls 
the  joke  in  "  Menagiana"  of  the  man  who,  meeting  a  friend  riding  with  his 
wife  behind  him,  applied  to  him  the  words  of  Horace,  "  Post  equitem  sedet 
atra  cura"  ("  Black  care  sits  behind  the  horseman").  Nay,  the  French  go 
even  further.     "  No  one  marries  but  repents,"  they  cry. 

Marivaux,  the  French  dramatist,  wrote  an  epigram  on  marriage,  which 
may  be  thus  translated  : 


LITER AR  V  CURIOSITIES.  693 

I  would  advise  a  man  to  pause 

Before  he  takes  a  wife  : 
In  fact,  1  see  no  earthly  cause 

He  should  not  pause  for  life, — 

which  recalls  Punch's  famous  advice  to  those  about  to  marry :  "  Don't." 

Marsh,  The  (Fr.  "  Le  Marais"),  a  contemptuous  epithet  bestowed  by  the 
Girondists,  after  their  overthrow  by  the  Jacobins,  upon  those  members  who 
occupied  the  lowest  benches  in  the  French  National  Convention,  on  account 
of  their  alleged  cowardly  subservience  to  the  party  of  "  the  Mountain"  (q.  v.). 

Marshal  Forwards  (Ger.  "  Marschall  Vorwarts),  a  familiar  sobriquet  by 
which  his  soldiers  and  the  Prussian  people  in  general  called  General  Field- 
Marshal  von  Bliicher  (1742-1S19),  on  account  of  his  rapid  movements  and 
impetuous  manner  of  attack.  He  led  the  Prussians  in  the  campaign  of  1813 
against  Napoleon  and  his  retreating  army,  after  the  expulsion  from  Russia 
by  the  burning  of  Moscow,  and  at  the  battle  of  Waterloo  his  arrival  with  his 
army  made  the  defeat  of  the  French  decisive. 

Martyrs.  The  blood  of  martyrs  is  the  seed  of  the  church.  This 
well-known  proverb  appears  to  be  the  final  result  of  a  series  of  misquotations. 
The  phrase  is  usually  referred  to  TertuUian.  What  he  really  said  was,  "  Semen 
est  sanguis  Christianorum"  {Apologet.,  ch.  1.),  which  may  be  translated  "The 
blood  of  Christians  is  the  seed."  At  an  early  date  the  word  martyrum  was 
inserted,  and  the  sentence  reorganized  thus :  "  Sanguis  martyrum  semen 
Christianorum."  Beyerlinck,  in  his  "Magnum  Theatrum  Vitae  Humanae" 
(1665),  quotes  this  as  from  Tertullian,  in  illustration  of  the  growth  of  the 
Church  from  the  constancy  of  martyrs.  The  further  substitution  of  ecdesicB, 
"church,"  for  Christiaiiormn  is  to  be  found  in  Rally's  "Practice  of  Piety" 
(1695),  p.  455.  But  it  probably  occurred  earlier,  for  the  proverb  in  its  modern 
form  is  clearly  alluded  to  by  Fuller  ("Church  History  of  Britain,"  1665)  in  the 
dedication  of  cent,  iv.,  book  i.  : 

Of  all  shires  in  England  Staffordshire  was  (if  not  the  soonest)  the  largest  sown  with  the 
seed  of  the  Church,  I  mean,  the  bloud  of  primitive  Martyrs,  as  by  this  century  doth  appear. 

Mascot.  Mascot  is  a  word  that  was  introduced  into  literature  by  Audran 
in  his  comic  opera  of  "  La  Mascotte,"  but  it  seems  to  have  been  previously  in 
common  use  among  gamblers  and  others  to  indicate  some  object,  animate  or 
inanimate,  which,  like  the  luck-penny,  brought  good  fortune  to  its  possessor. 
The  word  had  travelled  up  to  Paris  from  Provence  and  Gascony,  where  a 
mascot  is  a  thing  that  brings  luck  to  a  household.  The  most  plausible  ety- 
mology derives  the  word  from  masque  (masked,  covered,  or  concealed),  which 
in  provincial  French  is  synonymous  with  ne  coiffe,  "born  with  a  caul."  Now, 
in  many  parts  of  Europe,  notably  in  Scotland  and  in  France,  good  fortune  is 
attributed  to  the  caul,  and  high  prices  are  known  to  have  been  paid  for  one. 
The  child  born  with  this  appendage  is  not  only  lucky  in  himself,  but  also  the 
source  of  luck  in  others. 

The  legend  of  the  Mascot,  as  told  in  Audran's  opera  (and  probably  largely 
colored  by  the  librettist's  imagination),  is  as  follows.  The  arch-fiend,  Agesago, 
in  a  more  than  usually  malicious  mood,  sent  a  number  of  his  most  evil  imps 
into  the  upper  world  to  distress  mankind.  But  the  Powers  of  Light,  in  their 
turn,  sent  a  number  of  messengers  to  counteract  the  evil  influences  of  Satan's 
emissaries.  These  messengers  were  known  as  mascots,  and  happy  was  the 
man  who  received  one  into  his  home.  A  mascot  must  marry  only  another 
mascot,  for  marriage  with  a  mortal  destroyed  its  magic  qualities,  which  re- 
appeared, however,  in  the  offspring.     Mascots  were  hereditary  in  families. 

The  evolution  of  a  child  born  masque  into  a  being  of  a  supernatural  order 


694  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

was  facilitated  by  the  fact  that  the  word  is  analogous  to  the  Low-Latin  masca, 
a  "sorcerer,"  which  is  the  root-form  of  many  French  provincial  words  indi- 
cating a  witch  or  magician.  The  mascot  has  finally  taken  its  place  in  popular 
mythology  with  all  that  class  of  house-spirits  who  are  allied  to  the  ancient 
Penates,  the  Scotch  Brownie,  the  English  Lob-lie-by-the-fire,  etc.  The  Dal- 
matian Vila  must  be  a  very  close  relation,  for  she  is  described  as  a  handsome 
maiden  who  accompanies  her  favorite  wherever  he  goes,  and  causes  all  his 
undertakings  to  prosper. 

Victor  Hugo  gives  some  account  of  a  being  called  a  Marcou,  a  figure  in 
French  folk-lore  who  belongs  to  the  same  family,  though  his  name  has  a 
different  etymology,  being  probably  derived  from  the  famous  St.  Marculphus 
(in  French,  Marcou,  or  Marculphe).  The  Marcou  is  the  seventh  son  of  a 
seventh  son,  and  he  has  a  v\2L\.wx2\Jleur- de-Its  on  some  part  of  his  body,  the 
touch  of  which  is  sure  to  heal  the  sick.  Marcous  are  found  in  all  parts  of 
France,  but  especially  in  the  southern  provinces.  "  Ten  years  ago  there  lived 
at  Ormes,  in  Gatinais,  one  of  these  creatures,  nicknamed  the  Handsome  Mar- 
cou. He  was  a  cooper,  Foulon  by  name,  and  his  miracles  became  so  numer- 
ous that  it  became  necessary  to  call  in  the  police  to  put  a  stop  to  them.  His 
fleur-de-lis  was  on  his  left  breast." 

There  is  also  a  being  called  a  maschecroute  (which  seems  to  mean  "gnaw- 
crust,"  the  name  having  only  an  accidental  resemblance  to  Mascot),  whose 
image  (a  hideous  wooden  affair),  like  that  of  the  Italian  Befana,  is  carried  in 
procession  through  the  streets  of  Lyons,  and  whose  name  is  used  by  nurses 
to  frighten  children  with. 

Masher,  in  American  slang,  a  person  who  spends  his  or  her  time  in  making 
conquests,  real  or  imaginary,  of  the  other  sex ;  a  lady-killer  ;  a  siren.  It  is 
sometimes  said  to  be  a  corruption  of  the  French  ma  cherie.  But  this  is  one 
of  the  many  instances  of  an  ingenious  etymology  whose  surface  plausibility 
imposes  on  the  unscholarly.  Far  more  likely  is  the  derivation  from  the  gypsy 
word  masher-ava,  to  fascinate  by  the  eye, — a  derivation  thus  advocated  by 
Barrere  and  Leland  :  "  About  the  year  i860  mash  was  a  word  found  only  in 
theatrical  parlance  in  the  United  States.  When  an  actress  or  any  girl  on  the 
stage  smiled  at  or  ogled  any  friend  in  the  audience,  she  was  said  to  mash  him, 
and  mashing  was  always  punishable  by  a  fine  deducted  from  the  wages  of 
the  offender.  It  occurred  to  the  writer  that  it  must  have  been  derived  from 
the  gy}psy  mash  (masher-ava),  to  allure,  to  entice.  This  was  suggested  to  Mr. 
Palmer,  a  well-known  impresario,  who  said  that  the  conjecture  was  not  only 
correct,  but  that  he  could  confirm   it,   for  the  term  had  originated  with  the 

C family,  who  were  all  comic  actors  and  actresses  of  Romany  stock,  who 

spoke  gypsy  familiarly  among  themselves." 

J.  W.  De  Forrest,  in  the  lUitstrated  American,  June  16,  1890,  makes  another 
very  plausible  suggestion  :  "  It  is  simply  a  translation  of  the  French  noun 
icraseur,  which  comes  from  the  verb  ecraser,  to  '  crush'  or  '  mash.'  Many  years 
ago,  when  I  was  a  young  looker-on  in  Paris,  ecrasair,  or  ecraseur  des  femmes, 
was  a  slang  term  for  a  lady-killer.  I  remember  a  drama  in  point.  Scene,  a 
Carnival  ball  at  the  Grand  Opera.  Young  American  looking  on,  his  long 
moustaches  stiffened  with  pommade  hottgroise  and  carefully  curled  in  two 
dashing  spirals.  Out  steps  a  nymph  from  the  dance,  takes  him  gently  by 
both  the  waxed  ends,  and  says,  laughingly,  '  You  have  no  right  to  mash  us 
\nous  icraser\  just  because  you  have  corkscrew  moustaches.'" 

Mason  and  Dixon's  Line,  a  boundary-line  surveyed  between  Novem- 
ber 15,  1763,  and  December  26.  1767,  by  two  English  mathematicians  and 
surveyors,  Charles  Mason  and  Jeremiah  Dixon,  to  settle  the  constant  dissen- 
sions between  the  Lords  Baltimore  and  the  Penn  family,  the  lords  proprietors 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  695 

of  Maryland  and  Pennsylvania  respectively.  It  runs  along  the  parallel  in 
latitude  39°  43'  26.3",  and  was  originally  marked  by  mile-stones  bearing  on 
one  side  the  coat  of  arms  of  Penn  and  on  the  other  those  of  1-ord  Baltimore. 
The  name  was  afterwards  currently  applied  to  designate  an  imaginary  bound- 
ary-line between  the  free  and  the  slave  States,  a  practice  which  took  its  rise 
in  1820,  when  in  the  excited  debates  upon  the  Missouri  Compromise  Bill  the 
eccentric  John  Randolph  of  Roanoke  made  use  of  the  phrase.  It  was  caught 
up  by  the  newspapers,  and  soon  gained  a  popular  significance  which  it  re- 
tained throughout  the  slavery  conflict.  In  those  early  days  of  the  anti-slavery 
agitation,  "  Hang  your  clothes  to  dry  on  Mason  and  Uixon's  Line"  was  a 
familiar  saying. 

Maverick,  a  word  originating  on  the  cattle-ranges  of  the  Far  West,  and 
first  used  as  a  name  for  unbranded,  and  therefore  ownerless,  cattle.  A  few 
years  since,  one  Sam  Maverick  went  from  Massachusetts  to  Texas,  where  he 
entered  into  the  business  of  stock-raising.  After  buying  several  herds,  he 
neglected  his  range  and  left  his  stock  to  shift  for  themselves.  Mr.  Maverick, 
on  humanitarian  grounds,  and  believing  implicitly  in  the  honesty  of  his  neigh- 
bors, refrained  from  branding  his  young  stock.  The  unregenerate  stock-men, 
however,  when  they  ran  across  an  unbranded  animal  on  the  round-up,  vvoulcl 
cry,  "There's  one  of  Maverick's  :  let's  brand  it."  The  word  became  popular, 
and  its  originally  limited  meaning  was  broadened  and  enlarged  by  constant 
use  throughout  the  cattle-ranges  and  mining-camps  of  the  frontier.  If  a  man 
was  unpronounced  in  his  opinion  on  any  subject,  it  was  said,  "  He  holds 
Maverick  views." 

May  and  December  is  frequently  used  to  characterize  the  courting  of  a 
young  girl  by  an  old  man.  Chaucer  has  a  poem  called  "January  and  May" 
("The  Merchant's  Tale"),  but  January  is  so  connected  in  the  public  mind 
with  the  new  year  that  it  symbolizes  lusty  youth  rather  than  an  old  man  in 
his  dotage.  December  has  therefore  become  the  popular  symbol  for  the 
mating  of  youth  and  age.  There  is  an  ancient  ballad  recounting  the  ill  suc- 
cess of  an  old  man's  wooing,  in  which  each  verse  ends  with  the  refrain, — 
For  May  and  December  can  never  agree. 

Hood  has  a  poem  entitled  "  December  and  May,"  and  as  a  motto  to  the 
verses  he  quotes  from  the  "  Passionate  Pilgrim," — 

Crabbed  age  and  youth 
Cannot  live  together. 

Shakespeare,  in  "  Much  Ado  about  Nothing,"  in  expressing  the  comparative 
beauty  of  Hero  and  Beatrice,  says  one  exceeds  the  other  in  beauty  "  as  the 
first  of  May  doth  the  last  of  December."  And  in  "As  You  Like  It,"  Act  iv., 
Sc.  I,  he  says,  "Men  are  April  when  they  woo,  December  when  they  wed: 
maids  are  May  when  they  are  maids,  but  the  sky  changes  when  they  are 
wives." 

Me  Too,  a  derisive  nickname  given  to  Thomas  C.  Piatt  when  he  and 
Roscoe  Conkling  were  both  Senators  from  New  York, — implying  that  he  was 
a  mere  echo  and  puppet  of  the  greater  man.  There  may  have  been  some 
reminiscence  here  of  the  famous  advertisement  which  about  the  middle  of 
this  century  appeared  in  a  paper  published  at  Sag  Harbor,  New  York,  by 
Colonel  Alden  Spooner.  A  merchant  advertised  his  wares  very  liberally  and 
attracted  great  custom  thereby.  One  day  a  rival  had  the  following  laconic 
and  economic  advertisement  placed  directly  under  the  long  one  : 
I  TOO. 

John  Thompson. 


696  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

But  Thompson  himself  was  not  original.  He  had  borrowed  his  idea  from  a 
little  squaw  who  used  to  sell  her  baskets  at  the  Harbor,  following  close  at  the 
heels  of  a  rival — a  larger  squaw  with  a  sonorous  voice  and  a  fund  of  descriptive 
eloquence — and  echoing  every  one  of  that  rival's  glowing  eulogies  with  a  shrill 
"  I  too."  Even  this,  however,  is  an  unconscious  plagiarism  of  the  famous 
sentiment  of  Mr.  Cruger,  elected  with  Edmund  Burke  to  represent  Bristol  in 
1774,  who  when  he  followed  that  illustrious  orator  in  giving  thanks  to  his 
constituents  was  content  to  say,  "  Gentlemen,  I  say  ditto  to  Mr.  Burke." 

Mea  culpa,  mea  culpa,  mea  maxima  culpa  (L.,  "Through  my  fault, 
through  my  fault,  througii  my  most  grievous  fault"),  the  closing  sentence  of 
the  Roman  Catholic  Confiteor,  or  Confession. 

We  somehow  greedily  gobble  down  all  stories  in  which  the  characters  of  our  friends  are 
chopped  up,  and  believe  wrong  of  them  without  inquiry.  In  a  late  serial  work  written  by 
this  hand,  1  remember  making  some  pathetic  remarks  about  our  propensity  to  believe  ill  of  our 
neighbors, — and  I  remember  the  remarks,  not  because  they  were  valuable,  or  novel,  or  in- 
genious, but  because,  within  three  days  after  they  had  appeared  in  print,  the  moralist  who 
wrote  them,  walking  home  with  a  friend,  heard  a  story  about  another  friend,  which  story  he 
straightway  believed,  and  which  story  was  scarcely  more  true  than  that  sausage  fable  which 
is  here  set  down.  O  mea  culpa,  mea  maxima  culpa  !  But  though  the  preacher  trips,  shall 
not  the  doctrine  be  good?  Yea,  brethren !  Here  be  the  rods.  Look  you,  here  are  the 
scourges.  Choose  me  a  nice  long,  swishing,  buddy  one,  light  and  well  poised  in  the  handle, 
thick  and  bushy  at  the  tail.  Pick  me  out  a  whip-cord  thong  with  some  dainty  knots  in  it, — 
and  now — we  all  deserve  it — whish,  whish,  whish !  Let  us  cut  into  each  other  all  round. — 
Thackeray  :  Roundabout  Papers. 

Meddling  and  Muddling,  a  happy  bit  of  alliterative  jingle  by  which 
Lord  Derby  characterized  the  action  of  the  opposition  in  1865.  In  1873,  in 
a  letter  to  Lord  Grey  de  Wilton,  Disraeli  brought  an  accusation  against  Glad- 
stone's government  of  "blundering  and  plundering,"  which  may  have  been  a 
reminiscence  of  Lord  Derby's  j^hrase,  though  it  is  not  impossible  that  Disraeli 
found  it  ready  made.  Coleridge,  in  his  "Essays  on  his  Own  Times,"  talks 
of  an  old  naval  captain  who  said,  in  reference  to  some  unmentioned  govern- 
ment, "Call  it  blunderment,  or  plunderment,  or  what  you  will,  only  not  a 
government."  Disraeli  was  skilful  enough  in  his  appropriations,  and  brilliant 
enough  in  his  original  capacity,  to  be  capable  either  of  inventing  or  of  adopt- 
ing such  a  formula.  In  1874,  Gladstone  parodied  Disraeli's  phrase,  when  he 
repelled  the  ex-Premier's  charge  that  the  Liberal  government  was  neglecting 
British  interests  in  the  Straits  of  Malacca,  by  saying  that  the  neglect  was 
chargeable  to  the  outgoing  administration,  ending  thus  :  "  I  will  leave  the 
leader  of  the  opposition,  for  the  present,  floundering  and  foundering  in  the 
Straits  of  Malacca." 

Meiosis  (Gr.  fj-Eiuoic,  from  fiewu,  to  "  lessen"),  a  figure  of  speech  whose  use 
is  widely  extended  among  all  classes,  even  among  those  who  would  be  startled 
at  finding  what  it  was  they  had  been  up  to.  Some  grammarians  have  con- 
fused it  with  litotes,  another  rather  formidable  name,  which  comes  from  the 
Greek  and  means  simplicity.  But  this  shows  an  ear  unapt  for  nice  distinc- 
tions. Simplicity  in  language  is  not  always  meiosis.  For  instance,  nothing 
could  be  simpler  than  the  conmion  form  of  litotes  which  occurs  in  ordinary 
profane  exclamations  ;  but,  all  the  same,  this  is  not  meiosis.  Rather  would 
the  indignant  "Bless  you  !"  uttered  by  the  old  gentleman  upon  whose  corns 
you  have  unwittingly  trodden  come  under  this  heading.  For  meiosis  is  the 
exact  opposite  of  hyperbole  :  that  exaggerates,  this  represents  a  thing  as  less 
than  it  is. 

It  is  a  favorite  trick  in  American  humor.  The  English  jester  emphasizes, 
italicizes,  and  underscores  his  jokes  ;  he  distrusts  his  audience  ;  the  American 
drops  his  good  things  carelessly — under  his  breath,  as  it  were — and  hurries 
on  almost  before  his  hearers  are  "on  to  him."     An  excellent  and  widely- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  697 

known  example  of  this  rhetorical  figure  occurs  in  Bret  Harte's  description 
of  the  scientific  gentleman  who,  being  hit  in  the  abdomen  by  a  chunk  of  old 
red  sandstone, — 

Curled  up  on  the  floor. 
And  the  subsequent  proceedings  interested  him  no  more. 

Charles  Dudley  Warner  offers  an  equally  excellent  prose  example  in  his 
"  Back-Log  Studies :" 

I  should  like  to  know  what  heroism  a.  boy  in  an  old  New  England  farm-house— rpugh- 
nursed  by  nature,  and  fed  on  the  traditions  of  the  old  wars— did  not  aspire  to.  "  John,"  says 
the  mother,  "  you'll  burn  your  head  to  a  crisp  in  that  heat."  But  John  does  not  hear:  he  is 
storming  the  Plains  of  Abraham  just  now.  "  Johnny,  dear,  bring  in  a  stick  of  wood."  How 
can  Johnny  bring  in  wood  when  he  is  in  that  defile  with  Braddock  and  the  Indians  are 
popping  at  him  from  behind  every  tree  ?     There  is  something  about  a  boy  that  I  like,  after  all. 

Another  good  American  example  lies  in  the  familiar  chestnut,  the  story  of 
the  travelling  Yankee's  reply  to  a  European  who  wished  to  know  if  he  had 
just  crossed  the  Alps  : 

"  Wal,  now  you  call  my  attention  to  the  fact,  I  guess  I  did  pass  risin' 
ground." 

Mark  Twain  affords  some  admirable  examples,  as  in  the  following  "answer 
to  an  inquiry,"  published  in  the  Galaxy: 

"  Young  Author." — Yes,  Agassiz  does  recommend  authors  to  eat  fish,  because  the  phos- 
phorus in  it  makes  brains.  So  far  you  are  correct.  But  I  cannot  help  you  to  a  decision  about 
the  amount  you  need  to  eat, — at  least,  not  with  certainty.  If  the  specimen  composition  you 
send  is  about  your  fair  usual  average,  I  should  judge  that  perhaps  a  couple  of  whales  would 
be  all  you  would  want  for  the  present.  Not  the  largest  kind,  but  simply  good,  middling-sized 
whales. 

So  does  Bill  Nye  : 

When  I  was  young  and  used  to  roam  around  over  the  country,  gathering  watermelons  in 
the  light  of  the  moon,  I  used  to  think  I  could  milk  anybody's  cow,  but  I  do  not  think  so  now. 
I  do  not  milk  a  cow  now  unless  the  sign  is  right,  and  it  hasn't  been  right  for  a  good  many 
years.  The  last  cow  I  tried  to  milk  was  a  common  cow,  born  in  obscurity  ;  kind  of  a  self- 
made  cow.  I  remember  her  brow  was  low,  but  she  wore  her  tail  high,  and  she  was  haughty, 
oh, so  haughty. 

I  made  a  commonplace  remark  to  her,  one  that  is  used  in  the  very  best  of  society,  one  that 
need  not  have  given  offence  anywhere.  I  said  "  So,"  and  she  "  soed."  Then  I  told  her  to 
"  hist,"  and  she  histed.     But  I  thought  she  overdid  it.     She  put  too  much  expression  in  it. 

Just  then  I  heard  something  crash  through  the  window  of  the  barn  and  fall  with  a  dull, 
sickening  thud  on  the  outside.  The  neighbors  came  to  see  what  it  was  that  caused  the  noise. 
They  found  that  I  had  done  it  in  getting  through  the  window. 

I  asked  the  neighbors  if  the  barn  was  still  standing.  They  said  it  was.  Then  I  asked  if 
the  cow  was  injured  much.  They  said  she  seemed  to  be  quite  robust.  Then  I  requested 
them  to  go  in  and  calm  the  cow  a  little,  and  see  if  they  could  get  my  plug  hat  off  her  horns. 

I  am  buying  all  my  milk  now  of  a  milkman.  I  select  a  gentle  milkman  who  will  not  kick, 
and  feel  as  though  I  could  trust  him.  Then,  if  he  feels  as  though  he  could  trust  me,  it  is  all 
right. 

Though  this  noble  figure  is  far  less  regarded  in  English  than  in  American 
literature,  it  cannot  be  said  to  be  entirely  unknown  there.  W.  S.  Gilbert  is 
very  fond  of  it,  as  in  his  "  Bab  Ballads  :" 

I've  studied  human  nature,  and  I  know  a  thing  or  two ; 
Though  a  girl  may  fondly  love  a  living  gent,  as  many  do, 
A  feeling  of  disgust  upon  her  senses  there  will  fall 
When  she  looks  upon  his  body  chopped  particularly  small. 

In  this  gay  trifling  with  a  gruesome  subject  Gilbert  may  have  taken  the  cue 
from  De  Quincey's  famous  essay  on  "  Murder  as  a  Fine  Art."  Here  is  a 
sample  paragraph  : 

If  once  a  man  indulges  himself  in  murder,  very  soon  he  comes  to  think  little  of  robbing; 
and  from  robbing  he  comes  next  to  drinking  and  Sabbath-breaking,  and  from  that  to  incivility 
and  procrastination.  Once  begin  upon  this  downward  path,  you  never  know  where  you  are 
to  stop.  Many  a  man  has  dated  his  ruin  from  some  murder  or  other  that  perhaps  he  thought 
little  of  at  the  time. 

2E  59 


698  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Meiosis,  divested  of  its  humorous  possibilities,  is  a  favorite  figure  with  the 
serious  Englishman,  whose  one  great  aim  as  he  goes  through  life  is  to  mask 
his  emotions,  to  avoid  gush  and  mere  conventional  enthusiasm.  "  Not  bad," 
"Not  half  bad,"  "Not  a  bad  sort," — these  are  all  Anglican  compliments  of 
the  meiosistic  order.  "  I  don't  mind  if  I  do,"  says  the  thirsty  cabby  whom 
you  charitably  ask  to  take  a  drink,  and  you  know  he  is  delighted.  Praise  a 
yokel's  cattle,  and  he  assents,  saying,  "  They  are  a  niceish  lot."  If  a  British 
bookmaker  has  had  a  "pretty  tidy  day,"  you  may  be  sure  that  all  the  favorites 
have  been  beaten. 

What  is  called  "breaking  the  news"  frequently  takes  the  form  of  meiosis. 
Sheridan,  the  sorely  dunned,  tells  the  story  of  how  his  faithful  old  servant 
gave  him  information  of  the  visit  a  bailiff  had  paid  him  in  his  absence. 
Sheriffs'  officers  were  known  far  and  wide  in  London  in  those  days  by  their 
scarlet  waistcoats,  the  color  being  a  sort  of  signal  of  distress,  as  in  an  auction- 
eer's flag.  When  the  graceless  but  gifted  Sheridan  got  home  the  old  woman 
broke  it  gently  to  him  in  this  fashion  :  "  Please,  sir,  there  was  a  gentleman 
called  while  you  were  away,  as  was  rather  in  a  red  waistcoat  than  otherwise,  sir." 

The  thrifty  Scot,  who  deals  economically  with  words  and  emotions,  as  with 
more  material  things,  is  fond  of  meiosis  of  a  ponderous  sort. 

Mrs.  Siddons  once  described  to  Campbell  the  scene  of  her  probation  on 
the  Edinburgh  boards.  The  grave  attention  of  the  Scotchmen  and  their 
canny  reservation  of  praise  till  they  were  sure  it  was  deserved,  she  said,  had 
well-nigh  worn  out  her  patience.  She  had  been  used  to  speak  to  animated 
clay,  but  she  now  felt  as  if  she  had  been  speaking  to  stone.  Successive 
flashes  of  her  eloquence,  that  had  always  been  sure  to  electrify  the  South, 
fell  in  vain  on  those  Northern  flints.  At  last,  she  said,  she  had  worked  up 
her  powers  to  the  utmost  emphatic  possible  utterance  of  one  passage,  having 
previously  vowed  in  her  heart  that  if  this  did  not  touch  the  Scotch  she 
would  never  again  cross  the  Tweed.  When  it  was  finished  she  paused,  and 
looked  at  the  audience.  The  deep  silence  was  broken  only  by  a  single  voice 
exclaiming,  "That's  no  bad." 

Melrose.  A  famous  couplet  opens  the  second  canto  of  Scott's  **  Lay  of 
the  Last  Minstrel :" 

If  thou  wouldst  view  fair  Melrose  aright. 
Go  visit  it  by  the  pale  moonlight. 

This  seems  to  be  a  reminiscence  of  a  proverbial   phrase  which    Hazlitt 
records  in  his  "  English  Proverbs  and  Proverbial  Phrases,"  p.  196  : 
He  who  would  see  old  Hoghton  right 
Must  view  it  by  the  pale  moonlight. 

Higson's  MS.  Coll.,  No.  202. 
Hoghton  Tower  is  not  far  from  Blackburn.     It  is  worth  noting  that  Scott 
told  Moore  he  had  never  seen  Melrose  by  moonlight. 

Memoria  Technica.  That  the  artificial  adjuncts  of  rhyme  and  rhythm 
aid  the  memory  is  a  long-established  fact.  Many  a  proverb  has  drifted  about 
in  verbal  uncertainty  until  it  crystallized  itself  in  some  rude  metrical  form, 
to  remain  fast  in  the  memory  forever.  Few  people  to-day  could  recall  the 
number  of  days  in  any  month  by  a  direct  effort  of  memory  ;  they  have  to  call 
in  the  help  of  those  ancient  mnemonic  verses  which  have  come  down  to  us 
from  the  uncertain  past : 

Thirty  days  hath  September, 

April,  June,  and  November, 

February  has  twenty-eight  alone. 

All  the  rest  have  thirty-one. 

Excepting  leap-year,— that's  the  time 

When  February's  days  are  twenty-nine. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  699 

This  is  the  form  in  which  they  appear  in  the  "  Return  from  Parnassus" 
(London,  1606).  This  is  the  form  in  which  they  are  still  repeated  in  most 
English  and  American  households.  How  old  are  they  ?  We  cannot  tell  for 
certain.  This  is  their  first  appearance  in  their  integrity.  With  the  lack  of 
the  closing  couplet,  they  may  be  found  in  an  earlier  publication,  Richard  Graf- 
ton's "Chronicles  of  England"  (1590)  : 

Thirty  dayes  hath  Nouember, 
Aprill,  June,  and  September, 
February  hath  xxviii  alone. 
And  all  the  rest  have  xxxi. 

Here  our  researches  stop.  Grafton,  like  his  successor,  is  quoting.  Who 
the  author  of  the  rhyme  may  be  we  shall  never  know.  Nor  shall  we  know 
whether  he  was  indebted  for  his  idea  to  the  Latin  verses  on  the  same  sub- 
ject that  appear  in  the  "  Description  of  Britain"  prefixed  to  Holinshed's 
"Chronicle"  (1577) : 

Junius,  Aprilis,  Septemq  ;  Nouemq  ;  tricenos, 

Vnum  plus  reliqui,  Februs  tenet  octo  vicenos. 

At  si  bissextus  fuerit  superadditur  vnus. 

The  nice  New  England  ear  seems  to  have  objected  to  the  rhyming  of  "  time" 
and  "  nine,"  rhymes  which  satisfied  our  rude  Old  English  fathers.  So  in  the 
Eastern  States  the  verses  usually  run  as  follows : 

Thirty  days  hath  September, 
April,  June,  and  November; 
All  the  rest  have  thirty-one, 
Excepting  February  alone. 
Which  hath  but  twenty-eight,  in  fine, 
Till  leap-year  gives  it  twenty-nine. 

This  emendation  loses  in  reason  what  it  gains  in  rhyme.  The  Pennsylvania 
Quakers,  too,  have  their  variant,  accommodated  to  the  numerical  nomencla- 
ture which  they  apply  to  the  months  : 

Fourth,  eleventh,  ninth,  and  sixth. 
Thirty  days  to  each  affix ; 
Every  other  thirty-one. 
Except  the  second  month  alone. 

Mnemonic  aids  of  this  sort  have  been  especially  popular  with  religious 
people.     Here  is  an  ancient  epitome  of  the  faith  as  it  is  in  Scotland : 

God  made  a  garden  and  put  Adam  in ; 
Adam  lo'ed  Eve,  and  so  came  sin. 
Eve  pu'd  an  apple  for  Adam  frae  a  tree  ; 
God  said  to  Adam,  "  That  belangs  to  me." 
Adam  said  to  God,  "  My  marrow  stole  it." 
God  said  to  Adam,  "  Baith  o'  ye  shall  thole  it." 
Adam  rinned  awa',  fearing  God's  wrath; 
God  sent  an  angel  to  ca'  Adam  forth. 
The  angel  told  the  Deil  to  punish  Adam's  sin ; 
The  Deil  made  Hell  and  put  Adam  in. 
God  begat  Christ,  Christ  went  to  Hell ; 
He  heuked  Adam  out,  and  a'  was  well. 

Several  attempts  have  been  made  to  put  the  Decalogue  in  rhyme.  A  few 
are  subjoined : 

The  Decalogue. 

Have  thou  no  Gods  but  me  :  nor  graven  type  adore : 

Take  not  my  name  in  vain  ;  'twere  guilt  most  sore : 

Hallow  the  seventh  day  :  thy  parents'  honor  love  : 

No  murder  do,  nor  thou  adulterer  prove  : 

From  theft  be  pure  thy  hand  ;  no  witness  false,  thy  word : 

Covet  of  none  his  house  wife,  maid,  or  herd. 


700  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Worship  to  God— but  not  God  graven— pay ; 

Blaspheme  not ;  sanctify  the  Sabbath  day  ; 

Be  honored  parents  ;  brother's  blood  unshed  ; 

And  unpolluted  hold  the  marriage  bed  ; 

From  theft  thy  hand— thy  tongue  from  lying— keep  ; 

Nor  covet  neighbor's  home,  spouse,  sert,  ox,  sheep. 

Thou  no  God  shall  have  but  me ; 
Before  no  idol  bow  the  knee  ; 
Take  not  the  name  of  God  in  vain  ; 
Nor  dare  the  Sabbath  day  profane  ; 
Give  both  thy  parents  honor  due  ; 
Take  heed  that  thou  no  murder  do  : 
Abstain  from  words  and  deeds  unclean  ; 
Nor  steal,  though  thou  art  poor  and  mean ; 
Nor  make  a  wilful  lie,  nor  love  it ; 
What  is  thy  neighbor's,  do  not  covet. 

There  is  no  harm  in  any  of  the  above.     But  the  efforts  to  put  the  Lord's 
Prayer  into  rhyme  are  distinctly  blameworthy.     The  prayer  is  a  masterpiece 
as  it  stands.     In  our  English  translation  it  has  a  magnificent  natural  rhythm. 
How  utterly  the  poetry  can  be  ruined  by  attempting  to  give  it  the  poetical 
accidents  may  be  seen  in  the  following  instances  : 
Our  Father  which  in  heaven  art. 
All  hallowed  be  thy  name ; 
"I'hy  kingdom  come. 
On  earth  thy  will  be  done. 
Even  as  the  same  in  heaven  is. 
Give  us,  O  Lord,  our  daily  bread  this  day  : 

As  we  forgive  our  debtors. 
So  forgive  our  debts,  we  pray. 
Into  temptation  lead  us  not. 

From  evil  make  us  free  : 
The  kingdom,  power,  and  glory  thine. 
Both  now  and  ever  be. 

Father  in  heaven,  hallowed  be  thy  name  ; 

Thy  kingdom  come  ;  thy  will  be  done  the  same 

In  earth  and  heaven.     Give  us  daily  bread ; 

Forgive  our  sins  as  others  we  forgive. 

Into  temptation  let  us  not  be  led  ; 

Deliver  us  from  evil  while  we  live. 

For  kingdom,  power,  and  glory  must  remain 

Forever  and  forever  thine  :  Amen. 

Far  more  legitimate  are  the  efforts  made  to  embed  in  the  memory  by  arti- 
ficial means  the  successive  books  of  the  Bible,  as,  for  example, — 
THE   BOOKS   OF  THE  OLD  TESTAMENT. 
The  great  Jehovah  speaks  to  us 
In  Genesis  and  Exodus  ; 
Leviticus  and  Numbers  see 
Followed  by  Deuteronomy. 
Joshua  and  Judges  sway  the  land, 
Ruth  gleans  a  sheaf  with  trembling  hand ; 
Samuel  and  numerous  Kings  appear 
Whose  Chronicles  we  wondering  hear. 
Ezra  and  Nehemiah,  now, 
Esther  the  beauteous  mourner  show. 
Job  speaks  in  sighs,  David  in  Psalms, 
The  Proverbs  teach  to  scatter  alms ; 


Ecclesiastes  then  comes  on. 
And  the  sweet  Song  of  Solomon. 
Isaiah,  Jeremiah  then 
With  Lamentations  takes  his  pen. 
Ezekiel,  Daniel,  Hosea's  lyres 
Swell  Joel,  Amos,  Obadiah's. 
Next  Jonah,  Micah,  Nahum  come. 
And  lofty  Habakkuk  finds  room, — 


LITER AR  V  CURIOSITIES.  •JOI 

While  Zephaniah,  Haggai  calls, 
Wrapt  Zachariah  builds  his  walls  ; 
And  Malachi,  with  garments  rent, 
Concludes  the  ancient  T< 


THE   BOOKS   OF   THE   NEW   TESTAMENT. 
Mattnew,  Mark,  Luke,  and  John  wrote  the  life  of  their  Lord ; 
The  Acts,  what  Apostles  accomplished,  record ; 
Rome,  Corinth,  Galatus,  Ephesus,  hear 
What  Philippians,  Colossians,  Thessalonians  revere  : 
Timotheus,  Titus,  Philemon,  precede 
The  Epistle  which  Hebrews  most  gratefully  read  ; 
James,  Peter,  and  John,  with  the  short  letter  Jude, 
The  rounds  of  Divine  Revelation  conclude. 

At  Oxford  and  at  Cambridge  many  of  these  aids  to  memory  have  been 
handed  down  traditionally.  A  correspondent  of  IVoies  and  Queries  tells  us 
that  the  Rev.  Charles  Simeon,  curate  of  Trinity  College,  Cambridge,  for  fifty- 
three  years,  used  to  remember  the  books  of  the  New  Testament  by  retaining 
in  mind  abbreviated  words  indicating  the  order  of  the  books,  and  forcing 
them  into  a  rude  sort  of  rhythm  while  repeating  them  to  himself,  as  thus  : 
"  Rom.,  Cor.  i  and  2,  Gal.,  Eph.,  Phil.,  Col.,  Thess.  i  and  2,  Tim.  i  and  2, 
Tit.,  Phil.,  Heb.,  Jas.,  Pet.  i  and  2,  John  i,  2,  and  3,  Jud.,  Rev." 

Whereupon  another  correspondent  (April  30,  1881)  wrote  to  say  that 
"  more  than  fifty  years  ago"  the  following  mnemonic  verses  were  current  at 
Exeter  College,  Oxford : 

Rom.,  C5r.,  |  Cor.,  GalSt.,  |  Eph.,  Phil.,  |  Col.,  Thess.,  |  Thgssalo.,  |  Tim.,  Tim., 
Tit.,  Phil.,  He.,  |  Jam.,  Pet.,  |  Pet.,  John,  |  John,  John,  |  Jude,  Reve  |  lation. 

Still  another  correspondent  notes  that  "there  were  many  aids  to  memory  in 
vogue  at  the  same  period,  many  of  them  better  forgotten."     Among  the  least 
harmful   he  gives  an   amusing  one  on  the  genealogy  of  Abraham,  "which  it 
was  supposed  to  be  very  necessary  to  have  at  one's  fingers'  ends  :" 
Shem,  Arphaxad,  Salah, 

Eber,  Peleg,  Reu, 
Serug,  Nahor,  Terah, 

Tooral  looral  loo  (= Abraham). 
The  following  absurdly-sounding  line  is  a  rapid  mnemonic  summary  of  the 
Ecumenical  Councils  in  their  chronological  order  : 

Ni-Co-E  I  Chal-CoCo  |  Ni-Co-La  |  La-La-La  \  Ly-Ly-Vi  |  Flo-Tri. 

Of  course  the  same  number  of  Ecumenical  Councils  is  not  accepted  by  all. 
But  the  reader  may  easily  decipher  the  above  line  if  he  will  bear  in  mind  that 
the  following  were  the  names  of  the  places  where  the  Councils  were  held : 
Nice,  Constantinople,  Ephesus,  the  Lateran,  Lyons,  Vienna,  Florence,  Trent. 

A  very  curious  bit  of  legal  lore  is  a  volume  of  Sir  Edward  Coke's  Re- 
ports in  rhyme,  which  was  published  by  J.  Worrall  "  at  the  Dove  in  Bell- 
yard,  near  Lincoln's  Inn,  London,"  in  the  year  1742. 

The  bookseller's  preface  is  as  follows  : 

An  ancient  manuscript  of  the  following  verses  falling  accidentally  into  my  hands,  in  which 
no  small  pains  must  have  been  taken  ;  the  publication  thereof  needs  little  apology,  when  it  is 
considered  these  lines  may  at  the  same  time  not  only  refresh  the  memory,  and  instruct,  but  also 
afford  a  pleasing  recreation  to  gentlemen  of  the  law,  and  others,  by  shewing  them  in  a  narrow 
compass  a  copious  and  learned  body  of  the  law,  supported  with  authority  of  no  less  than  the 
great  Sir  Edward  Coke,  whose  name  so  long  as  laws  endure  will  probably  be  esteemed  and 
rtvered  for  his  great  knowledge,  penetrating  judgment,  and  fine  reasoning  therein. 

To  make  the  work  more  useful,  I  have  distinguished  every  path  and  case  with  references  to 
the  pages  in  all  the  edition  of  said  reports.  John  Wokrall. 

Keli-yard,  24th  of  June,  1742. 

The  volume  quotes  the  opinions  of  all  the  learned  judges  England  had  prior 
to  the  date  of  compilation,  and  every  phase  of  the  law  is  dealt  with.    Several 

59* 


•J02  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

thousand  verses  are  given,  and  nearly  all  express  law  that  is  as  good  to-day  as 
it  was  one  hundred  and  fifty  years  ago.  Here  are  some  of  the  verses  from  the 
volume : 

None  convict  upon  appeal  shall  be 
Indicted  for  the  selfsame  felony. 
Indictments  shall  not  harmed  be 
By  surplusage,  if  no  repugnancy. 
But  one  appeal  may  be  against  all 
The  accessories  and  the  principal. 
It  is  no  policy,  if  you  indict. 
To  recite  statutes,  lest  you  misrecite. 

On  the  subject  of  contempt  of  court  the  report  says, — 
For  contempt  of  coiirt  only  those 
Who're  judges  of  record  can  fine  impose. 

This  is  one  principle  of  law  that  does  not  hold  good  in  America.     If  it  did, 
justices  of  the  peace  would  be  debarred  from  assessing  fines  for  contempt. 
Here  is  a  verse  giving  a  decision  credited  to  Cromwell : 

The  law  which  doth  a  pain  enact 
For  slander  of  a  peer  is  a  general  act. 

Several  verses  are  devoted  to  defining  what  will  justify  an  action  for  slander. 
Cutler's  opinion  is  summed  up  thus  : 

For  scand'lous  articles  to  tie. 

To  good  behavior,  action  will  not  lie. 

Bert  says, — 

Action  lies  whene'er  the  words  are  such 

As  they  his  life  on  whom  they're  spoke  may  touch. 

Barham,  one  of  the  noted  jurists  of  the  time,  said, — 

Where  words  will  yield  a  milder  sense, 
An  innuendo  shall  not  make  the  offence. 

James  said, — 

If  a  certain  person  is  not  laid 
And  matter  innuendo  will  not  aid. 

Davis  probably  made  the  rule  more  clear  than  any  of  them  when  he  said, — 

For  slander  action  will  not  lie 

Unless  some  temp'ral  loss  incur  thereby. 

Several  of  the  learned  judges  quoted  in  the  verse  of  the  volume  lay  down 
some  law  for  London  : 

Sue  not  in  the  Court  of  Aldermen ; 
A  prohibition  for't. 

Bays  one,  and  another  holds  that 

Administrators  debts  must  pay 
On  simple  contract,  London  customs  say. 
The  famous  rule  in  Shelley's  case  is  thus  given  : 
Where  ancestors  a  freehold  take. 
The  words  (his  heirs)  a  limitation  make. 

Among  the  decisions  relating  to  ordinances  and  by-laws  is  one  that  speaks 
Bome  sound  sense.     It  is, — 

By-laws  made  by  inhabitants  of  ville. 
For  publick,  good  ;  for  private,  ill. 
Grammar,  anatomy,  literature,  and  history  are   illustrated   in   these  con- 
cluding examples  : 

Grammar  in  Rhyme. 

Three  little  words  you  often  see 
Are  articles,  a,  an,  and  the. 
A  noun's  the  name  of  anything ; 
As,  school  or  garden,  hoop  or  swing. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  7^3 

Adjectives  tell  the  kind  of  noun  ; 

As,  great,  small,  pretty,  white,  orhrown. 

Instead  of  nouns  the  pronouns  stand  : 

Her  head,  his  face,  your  arm,  his  hand. 

Verbs  tell  of  something  being  done  : 

To  read,  count,  sing,  laugh,  jump,  or  run. 

How  things  are  done  the  adverbs  tell ; 

As,  slowly,  quickly,  ill  or  well. 

Conjunctions  join  the  words  together; 

As,  men  and  women,  wind  or  weather. 

The  preposition  stands  before 

A  noun  ;  as,  in  or  through  a  door. 

The  interjection  shows  surprise ; 

As,  oh  !  how  pretty  !  ah  !  how  wise  1 

The  whole  are  called  nine  parts  of  speech, 

Which  reading,  writing,  speaking,  teach. 

The  Bones  of  the  Body. 

How  many  bones  in  the  human  face? 
Fourteen,  when  they're  all  in  place. 
How  many  bones  in  the  human  head? 
Eight,  my  child,  as  I've  often  said. 
How  many  bones  in  the  human  ear? 
Three  in  each,  and  they  help  to  hear. 
How  many  bones  in  the  human  spine? 
Twenty-six,  like  a  climbing  vine. 
How  many  bones  in  the  human  chest? 
Twenty-four  ribs,  and  two  of  the  rest. 
How  many  bones  in  the  shoulder  bind? 
Two  in  each,— one  before  and  behind. 
How  many  bones  in  the  human  arm? 

In  each  one,  two  in  each  forearm. 
How  many  bones  in  the  human  wrist  t 

Eight  in  each,  if  none  are  missed. 

How  many  bones  in  the  palm  of  the  hand? 

Five  in  each,  with  many  a  band. 

How  many  bones  in  the  fingers  ten  ? 

Twenty-eight,  and  by  joints  they  bend. 

How  many  bones  in  the  human  hip  ? 

One  in  each,  like  a  dish  they  dip. 

How  many  bones  in  the  human  thigh  ? 

One  in  each,  and  deep  they  lie. 

How  many  bones  in  the  human  knees? 

One  in  each,  the  kneepan,  please. 

How  many  bones  from  the  leg  to  the  knee? 

Two  in  each,  we  can  plainly  see. 

How  many  bones  in  the  ankle  strong  ? 

Seven  in  each,  but  none  are  long. 

How  many  bones  in  the  ball  of  the  foot? 

Five  in  each,  as  the  palms  were  put. 

How  many  bones  in  the  toes  half  a  score? 

Twenty-eight,  and  there  are  no  more. 

And  now  altogether  these  many  bones  fix,         _ 

And  they  count  in  the  body  two  hundred  and  six. 

And  then  we  have  the  human  mouth. 

Of  upper  and  under,  thirty-two  teeth. 

And  now  and  then  have  a  bone,  I  should  think. 

That  forms  on  a  joint  or  to  fill  up  a  chmk,— 

A  sesamoid  bone,  or  a  wormian,  we  call ; 

And  now  we  may  rest,  for  we've  told  them  all. ^ 

V^  OF   THK  'r- 

UNIVERSITY 
CALIFOR'^ 


704  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Names  of  Shakespeare's  Plays. 

{Omitting'  the  Historical  English  Dratnas.) 
Cymbeline,  Tempest,  Much  Ado,  Verona, 
Merry  Wives,  Twelfth  Night,  As  You  Like  It,  Errors, 
Shrew  Taming,  Night's  Dream,  Measure,  Andronicus, 
Timon  of  Athens. 

Winter's  Tale,  Merchant,  Troilus,  Lear,  Hamlet, 
Love's  Labor,  All's  Well,  Pericles,  Othello, 
Romeo,  Macbeth,  Cleopatra,  Ca;sar, 

Coriolanus. 

First  Twenty-One  Presidents. 

First  stands  the  lofty  Washington, 
That  noble,  great,  immortal  one. 
The  elder  Adams  next  we  see, 
And  Jefferson  comes  number  three. 
The  fourth  is  Madison,  you  know. 
The  fifth  one  on  the  list,  Monroe. 
The  sixth  an  Adams  comes  again. 
And  Jackson  seventh  in  the  train. 
Van  Buren  eighth  upon  the  line. 
And  Harrison  counts  number  nine. 
The  tenth  is  Tyler,  in  his  turn. 
And  Polk  the  eleventh,  as  we  learn. 
The  twelfth  is  Taylor  thai  appears. 
The  thirteenth  Fillmore  fills  his  years. 
Then  Pierce  comes  fourteenth  into  view  ; 
Buchanan  is  the  fifteenth  due. 
Now  Lincoln  comes  two  terms  to  fill. 
But  God  o'errules  the  people's  will. 
And  Johnson  fills  the  appointed  time 
Cut  short  by  an  assassin's  crime. 
Next  Grant  assumes  the  lofty  seat. 
The  man  who  never  knew  defeat. 
Two  terms  to  him  ;  then  Hayes  succeeds. 
And  quietly  the  nation  leads. 
Garfield  comes  next,  the  people's  choice ; 
But  soon  ascends  a  mourning  voice 
From  every  hamlet  in  the  land. 
A  brutal  wretch  with  murderous  hand- 
Strikes  low  the  country's  chosen  chief. 
And  anxious  millions,  plunged  in  grief. 
Implore  in  vain  Almighty  aid 
That  Death's  stem  hand  might  still  be  stayed. 
Arthur's  term  was  then  begun. 
Which  made  the  number  twenty-one. 

Early  Roman  Kings. 

Romulus  founded  the  city  ; 

Numa  Pompilius  then 
Founded  the  Roman  religion. 

Striving  to  elevate  men. 

TuUus  Hostilius,  warrior, 
Had  a  belligerent  reign  ; 

With  Ancus  Marcius,  ditto. 
The  Latins  contended  in  vain. 


Tarquin  the  Elder,  succeeding, 
Buili  the  great  circus  and  sewer; 

Servius  Tullius,  needing 

A  census,  the  same  did  procure. 

But  a  prince  soon  after  committed 

A  crime  that  could  not  be  allowed  ; 
And  the  Roman  monarchy  ended 
«   By  expelling  Tarquin  the  Proud. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  70$ 

Sovereigns  of  England. 

First  William  the  Norman, 

Then  William  his  son  ; 
Henry,  Stephen,  and  Henry, 

Then  Richard  and  John  ; 
Next  Henry  the  third, 

Edwards  one,  two,  and  three, 
And  again  after  Richard 

Three  Henrys  we  see. 
Two  Edwards,  third  Richard, 

If  rightly  1  guess  ; 
Two  Henrys,  sixth  Edward, 

Queen  Mary,  Queen  Bess. 
Then  Jamie  the  Scotchman, 

Then  Charles  whom  they  slew. 
Yet  received  after  Cromwell 

Another  Charles  too. 
Next  James  the  second 

Ascended  the  throne  ; 
Then  good  William  and  Mary 

Together  came  on. 
Till,  Anne,  Georges  four. 

And  fourth  William  all  past, 
God  sent  Queen  Victoria: 

May  she  long  be  the  last! 

Memory.  Though  lost  to  sight,  to  memory  dear.  No  question  is 
more  frequently  asked — and  answered — than  the  origin  of  this  quotation. 
But  although  the  answers  are  frequent  enough,  they  are  always  wrong  when- 
ever they  attempt  to  clear  up  the  mystery.  Probably  every  one  who  keeps  a 
scrap-book  has  treasured  away  the  information,  which  went  the  round  of  the 
newspapers  in  1870,  and  still  goes  marching  on,  that  this  was  the  refrain  of  a 
poem  by  Ruthven  Jenkins,  which  appeared  in  the  Greenwich  Review  for 
Marines  in  1701  or  1 702.  No  such  monthly  was  ever  published,  in  Green- 
wich or  elsewhere  ;  and,  indeed,  the  word  "  Marines"  should  have  warned  the 
most  unwary  of  a  possible  hoax.  The  truth  is,  the  very  weak  song  was  de- 
liberately composed  (it  is  said,  in  Cleveland,  Ohio)  to  lead  up  to  the  famous 
line.  It  consists  of  two  stanzas,  of  which  the  following  is  the  first  : 
Sweetheart,  good-by  !  that  fluttering  sail 

Is  spread  to  waft  me  far  from  thee. 
And  soon  before  the  favoring  gale 

My  ship  shall  bound  upon  the  sea. 
Perchance,  all  desolate  and  forlorn. 

These  eyes  shall  miss  thee  many  a  year ; 
But  unforgotten  every  charm — 
Though  lost  to  sight,  to  memory  dear. 

As  late  as  1880  this  song  was  republished,  in  good  faith,  in  London,  but  the 
hoax  had  been  exposed  seven  years  before  in  Notes  and  Queries.  Bartlett's 
"Familiar  Quotations"  ascribes  the  line  to  George  Linley  (1798-1S65),  the 
author  of  a  song  beginning, — 

Though  lost  to  sight,  to  memory  dear 

Thou  ever  wilt  remain  ; 
One  only  hope  my  heart  can  cheer, — 
The  hope  to  meet  again. 

The  song  was  composed  for  and  sung  by  Augustus  Braham,  probably  about 
1840.  It  was  set  to  music  and  published  in  London  in  1848.  But  the  quota- 
tion was  a  proverb  in  common  use  at  least  as  early  as  1826,  for  in  the  Mo7tthly 
Magazine  for  January,  1827  ("  Letter  on  Affairs  in  General  from  a  Gentleman 
in  Town  to  a  Gentleman  in  the  Country"),  it  is  given  as  a  familiar  axiom,  and 
F.  C.  H.,  writing  to  Notes  and  Queries  in  1871,  says,  "  I  can  safely  aver  that  it 
is  much  older  than  1828,  as  I  knew  it  many  years  before  that  date." 


7o6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Metcalfe,  in  his  translation  of  Vilmar's  "  German  Literature,"  incidentally 
mentions  "Though  lost  to  sight,  to  memory  dear,"  as  the  title  of  a  German 
volkslied  of  the  fourteenth  or  fifteenth  century. 

Memory  and  imagination.  Sometimes,  but  not  often,  we  have  given 
us  the  opportunity  of  seeing  how  a  famous  phrase  has  grown  and  blossomed 
in  the  writer's  own  mind.  Sheridan,  whose  impromptus  all  smelt  of  the  lamp, 
had  set  down  in  a  note-book  for  future  use  the  words,  "  He  employs  his  fancy 
in  his  narrative  and  keeps  his  recollections  for  his  wit,"  which  is  clever,  but 
has  not  that  final  and  clinching  wit  that  catches  hold  of  the  popular  mind. 
Nor  was  it  much  better  in  the  second  form  :  "  When  he  makes  his  jokes  you 
applaud  the  accuracy  of  his  memory,  and  it  is  only  when  he  states  his  facts 
that  you  admire  the  flights  of  his  imagination."  When  finally  the  opportunity 
occurred,  in  speaking  of  Mr.  Dundas  in  the  House  of  Commons,  he  gave  it 
this  brilliant  turn  :  "  He  generally  resorts  to  his  memory  for  his  jokes  and  to 
his  imagination  for  his  facts." 

But  Mr.  Dundas  might  easily  have  retorted  upon  Sheridan  half  at  least  of 
the  description.  If  Sheridan  was  not  indebted  for  his  facts  to  his  imagination, 
at  least  Dundas  might  have  accused  him  of  being  indebted  to  his  memory  for 
his  jests.  Nay,  this  very  jest  had  been  anticipated.  Who  can  forget  Laura's 
description  to  Gil  Bias  of  that  original  with  the  knot  in  his  dyed  dark  hair 
and  the  feuille-morte  feathers  in  his  hat,  the  famous  Seigneur  Carlos  Alonzo 
de  la  Ventoleria,  under  which  title  Le  Sage,  satirizing  the  famous  actor  Baron, 
says  of  him,  "  On  pent  dire  que  son  esprit  brille  aux  depens  de  sa  memoire".'' 
("  It  may  be  said  that  his  wit  shines  at  the  expense  of  his  memory.")  (^Gil 
Bias,  Book  iii.,  ch.  xi.) 

Men.  All  men  are  born  free  and  equal  This  phrase,  which  is  con- 
tinually quoted  as  from  the  Declaration  of  Independence,  really  occurs  in  the 
Constitution  of  Massachusetts.  The  Declaration  merely  says,  "  All  men  are 
created  equal."  John  Lowell,  the  grandfather  of  the  poet,  was  a  member  of 
the  convention  which  framed  the  Constitution  of  Massachusetts  in  rjSo,  and 
one  of  the  committee  appointed  to  draught  that  instrument.  A  bitter  oppo- 
nent of  slavery,  he  inserted  in  the  Bill  of  Rights  the  clause  declaring  that  "all 
men  are  born  free  and  equal,"  for  the  purpose  of  abolishing  slavery  in  Massa- 
chusetts, and,  after  the  adoption  of  the  Constitution,  he  offered  through  the 
newspapers  to  prosecute  the  case  of  any  negro  who  wished  to  establish  his 
right  to  freedom  under  the  clause. 

It  is  not  pleasant  to  rebuke  so  self-complacent  a  philosopher  as  Professor  Thomas  Henry 
Huxley  for  a  sin  like  that  which  he  commits  in  an  article  on  "  The  Natural  Inequality  of 
Man,"  published  in  the  January  number  of  the  Nineteenth  Century. 

The  title  of  Professor  Huxley's  article  indicates  its  argument.  In  the  course  of  a  disciK- 
sion  of  what  he  calls  Rousseauism,  Professor  Huxley  pretends  to  quote  from  the  American 
Declaration  of  Independence : 

"  What  is  the  meaning  [he  asks]  of  the  famous  phrase  that  '  all  men  are  born  free  and  equal,' 
which  gallidzed  Americans,  who  were  as  mnch  philosofihes  as  their  inherited  common  sense 
and  their  practical  acquaintance  with  men  and  with  affairs  would  let  them  be,  put  forth  as  the 
foundation  of  the  Declaration  of  Independence?" 

The  passage  in  the  Declaration  which  Professor  Huxley  had  vaguely  in  mind  is  another 
and  a  very  different  thing.  .  .  .   Here  is  what  the  Declaration  says  : 

"  When,  in  the  course  of  human  events,  it  becomes  necessary  for  one  people  to  dissolve  the 
political  bands  which  have  connected  them  with  another,  and  to  assume  among  the  Powers 
of  the  earth  the  separate  and  equal  station  to  which  the  Laws  of  Nature  and  o/  Nature's 
God  entitle  them,  a  decent  respect  to  the  opinions  of  mankind  requires  that  they  should  de- 
clare the  causes  which  impel  them  to  the  separation.  We  hold  these  truths  to  be  self-evident, 
that  all  men  are  created  equal :  that  they  are  endowed  by  their  Creator  with  certain  unalien- 
able Rights;  that  among  these  are  Life,  Liberty,  and  the  pursuit  of  Happiness." 

In  any  attempt  at  close  reasoning  and  exact  writing,  even  mere  verbal  misquotation  is  a 
capital  offence.  Professor  Huxley's  sin  is  still  worse.  His  line  of  argument  indicates  that 
he  has  wholly  misapprehended  the  spirit  and  intention  of  the  carefully  measured  words 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  foj 

which  form  the  introduction  to  the  very  concrete  specifications  of  tyranny,  injury,  and 
usurpation  brought  against  the  King  of  Great  Britain  by  the  authors  and  signers  of  the 
Declaration. — /^ew  York  Sun. 

Mending  his  fences,  in  American  political  slang,  a  euphemism  for  secret 
wire-pulling.  The  origin  of  the  phrase  is  said  to  be  as  follows.  Immediately 
prior  to  the  meeting  of  the  Republican  National  Convention  in  1880,  John 
Sherman,  known  to  be  an  aspirant  for  Presidential  honors,  withdrew  from  the 
Senate-house  to  the  seclusion  of  his  farm  at  Mansfield,  Ohio.  It  was  gen- 
erally believed  that  in  this  retirement  he  was  maturing  plans  and  secretly 
organizing  movements  to  bring  about  his  nomination.  One  day,  while  in  a 
field  with  his  brother-in-law,  Colonel  Moulton,  engaged  in  replacing  some 
rails  in  a  fence,  a  reporter  found  him,  and  sought  some  political  news  by  in- 
quiring what  Sherman  was  doing.  Colonel  Moulton  avoided  the  necessity 
of  a  direct  answer  to  so  pointed  a  question  by  exclaiming,  "  Why,  you  can 
see  for  yourself;  he's  mending  his  fences." 

Mercy.     "  I  have  often  wondered,"  says  Cowper,  "  that  the  same  poet 
who  wrote  the  '  Dunciad'  should  have  written  these  lines  : 
Teach  me  to  feel  another's  woe, 

To  hide  the  fault  I  see  ; 

That  mercy  I  to  others  show. 

That  mercy  show  to  me. 

[  The  Universal  Prayer. 1 

Alas  for  Pope,  if  the  mercy  he  showed  to  others  was  the  measure  of  the 
mercy  he  received  !"  Yet  the  sentiment  is  a  favorite  one  with  Pope.  It  is 
found  in  at  least  three  other  places  in  his  works,  in  two  instances,  however, 
in  his  translations  from  Homer,  who  may  have  suggested  the  idea  in  the  first 
place. 

Accept  these  grateful  tears  !  for  thee  they  flow, — 
For  thee,  that  ever  felt  another's  woe  ! 

Iliad,  Book  xix.,  1.  319. 

Yet,  taught  by  time,  my  heart  has  learn'd  to  glow 
For  others'  good,  and  melt  at  others'  woe. 

Odyssey,  Book  xviii.,  1.  269. 

So  perish  all  whose  breast  ne'er  learn'd  to  glow 
For  others'  good,  or  melt  at  others'  woe. 

To  the  Memory  of  an  Unfortunate  Lady,  1.  45. 

For  the  verbal  structure  of  the  lines  he  may  have  been  slightly  indebted  to 
Spenser : 

Who  will  not  mercy  unto  others  show. 
How  can  he  mercy  ever  hope  to  have  ? 

And  is  not  this  a  transposition  of  the  Biblical  phrase  "  Blessed  are  the 
merciful,  for  they  shall  obtain  mercy" .''  {^Matthew  v.  7.)  Pope  in  his  turn  was 
imitated  by  Goldsmith  : 

Taught  by  that  Power  that  pities  me, 
I  learn  to  pity  them. 

The  Hermit,  Stanza  6. 

And  lovelier  things  have  mercy  shown 
To  every  failing  but  their  own  ; 
And  every  woe  a  tear  can  claim. 
Except  an  erring  sister's  shame. 

Byron  ;  The  Giaour,  1.  418. 
The  quality  of  mercy  is  not  strain'd. 
It  droppeth,  as  the  gentle  rain  from  heaven 
Upon  the  place  beneath.  It  is  twice  blest : 
It  blesseth  him  that  gives  and  him  that  takes. 
'Tis  mightiest  in  the  mightiest :  it  becomes 
"The  throned  monarch  better  than  his  crown ; 


7o8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

His  sceptre  shows  the  force  of  temporal  power. 

The  attribute  to  awe  and  majesty, 

Wherein  doth  sit  the  dread  and  fear  of  kings ; 

But  mercy  is  above  this  sceptred  sway  ; 

It  is  enthroned  in  the  hearts  of  kings ; 

It  is  an  attribute  to  God  himself; 

And  earthly  power  doth  then  show  likest  God's, 

When  mercy  seasons  justice.     Therefore,  Jew, 

Though  justice  be  thy  plea,  consider  this, — 

That  in  the  course  of  justice  none  of  us 

Should  see  salvation  :  we  do  pray  for  mercy  ; 

And  that  same  prayer  doth  teach  us  all  to  render 

The  deeds  of  mercy. 

Shakespeare  :    The  Merchant  of  Venice,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  i. 

No  ceremony  that  to  great  ones  'longs. 
Not  the  king's  crown,  nor  the  deputed  sword. 
The  marshal's  truncheon,  nor  the  judge's  robe. 
Become  them  with  one-half  so  good  a  grace 
As  mercy  does. 

Measure  for  Measure,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  2. 

Metaphors,  Mixed.  There  was  a  time  when  men  naturally  and  familiarly 
talked  in  metaphors.  Indeed,  all  language  is  built  upon  metaphor,  though 
each  particular  word,  to  use  Dr.  Holmes's  term,  may  have  been  depolarized 
and  no  longer  calls  up  the  old  associations.  Primeval  man  expresses  his 
meaning  in  some  figure  of  speech  ;  by  and  by  a  new  set  of  meanings  crystal- 
lize around  the  figure,  and  the  locution  at  last  hardens  into  a  more  specific, 
a  different  or  even  an  antagonistic  meaning.  Many  of  the  commonplaces  of 
daily  life  would  sound  like  the  most  side-splitting  bulls  if  the  words  were 
considered  etymologically  and  resolved  back  to  their  pristine  meaning. 

In  the  earlier  days,  when  language  was  in  its  infancy  and  when  men  still 
lived  face  to  face  with  Nature,  the  metaphorical  meanings  of  words  held  sway 
over  the  imagination  and  involuntarily  summoned  up  a  mental  picture  of  the 
phenomena  upon  which  they  were  based.  Hence  primeval  man  rarely  erred 
in  his  use  of  metaphors.  The  Bible,  the  old  Sagas,  Homer,  the  Vedas,  all 
afford  excellent  examples  of  sustained  and  consistent  metaphors.  Nay,  even 
the  modern  savage  rarely  errs  when  he  is  speaking  in  his  own  language  or  in 
his  own  manner.  It  is  only  when  the  savage  or  the  ignorant  or  the  imper- 
fectly-educated man  is  brought  in  contact  with  a  higher  civilization,  whose 
metaphorical  phrases  have  never  had  for  him  the  metaphorical  meaning 
which  is  obsolescent  though  not  yet  obsolete  in  the  minds  of  the  dominant 
race  or  of  the  learned, — it  is  only  then  that  he  entirely  loses  his  bearings  and 
drifts  hopelessly  upon  a  sea  of  verbal  troubles.  The  negro  affords  an  excel- 
lent instance.  African  preachers  are  credited  with  such  phrases  as  "  Brethren, 
the  muddy  pool  of  politics  was  the  rock  on  which  I  split,"  or,  "  We  thank 
Thee  for  this  spark  of  grace  ;  water  it,  good  Lord ,"  or,  "  Give  us  grace 
that  we  may  gird  up  the  loins  of  our  mind  so  that  we  shall  receive  the  latter 
rain." 

Perhaps  it  is  because  English  is  a  language  forced  by  circumstances  upon 
the  Irish  that  the  species  of  mixed  metaphor  called  a  bull  is  so  prevalent  on 
Irish  soil  ;  or  perhaps  they  murder  the  queen's  English  by  way  of  revenge 
upon  the  English  queen.  This  topic  has  been  treated  at  some  length  under 
the  head  of  bulls.  But  not  all  mixed  metaphors,  nor  even  the  majority  of 
them,  can  be  grouped  under  that  class.  The  following  peroration,  attributed 
to  an  Irish  barrister,  is  not  one  of  the  distinctly  bovine  type  :  "  Gentlemen  of  the 
jury,"  he  is  reported  to  have  said,  "  it  will  be  for  you  to  say  whether  this  de- 
fendant shall  be  allowed  to  come  into  court  with  unblushing  footsteps,  with 
the  cloak  of  hypocrisy  in  his  mouth,  and  draw  three  bullocks  out  of  my 
client's  pocket  with  impunity."     Mr.  Henry  W.  Lucy,  from  whose  paper  on 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  709 

"Misfortunes  in  Metaphor"  (Belgravia,  April,  1881),  we  shall  draw  other 
illustrative  instances,  tells  some  good  stories  from  his  own  parliamentary 
experience.  One  concerns  Mr.  O'Conor  Power.  lie  had  caught  .Sir  Staf- 
ford Northcote,  then  Chancellor  of  the  Exchequer,  tripping  in  the  matter  of 
his  resolutions  in  respect  to  the  business  of  the  house.  In  his  ingenuous 
manner  the  right  honorable  baronet  had  too  plainly  disclosed  the  notorious 
fact  that  the  resolutions,  whilst  professing  to  deal  with  the  general  conduct 
of  business,  were  aimed  directly  at  obstruction.  Whereupon  up  jumped  Mr. 
O'Conor  Power,  and  with  triumphant  manner  exclaimed,  "  Mr.  Speaker,  sir, 
since  the  government  has  let  the  cat  out  of  the  bag,  there  is  nothing  to  be 
done  but  to  take  the  bull  by  the  horns  ;"  which  he  forthwith  did,  debating 
the  matter  as  especially  dealing  with  obstructionists. 

Another  of  his  stories  runs  as  follows.  Mr.  Shaw,  member  for  the  County 
Cork,  and  at  that  time  leader  of  the  Home  Rule  party,  was  addressing  a 
meeting  held  one  Sunday  at  Cork,  with  the  object  of  discussing  the  land 
question.  Mr.  Shaw  is  a  sober-minded  man,  who,  on  ordinary  occasions, 
finds  plain  speech  serve  his  purpose.  At  this  time,  however,  the  spirit  of 
metaphor  came  upon  him,  and  this  is  what  it  made  him  say:  "They  tell  us 
that  we  violate  the  Sabbath  by  being  here  to-day.  Yet,  if  the  ass  or  the  ox 
fall  into  the  pit,  we  can  take  him  out  on  the  Sabbath.  Our  brother  is  in  the 
pit  to-day, — the  farmer  and  the  landlord  are  both  in  it, — and  we  are  come 
here  to  try  if  we  can  lift  them  out."  This  similitude  of  the  Irish  landlord  to 
an  animal  predestined  to  slaughter  was  bold,  but  timely.  The  other  half  of 
the  analogy  seemed  calculated  to  get  Mr.  Shaw  into  trouble  with  his  con- 
stituency. 

Mr.  Lucy,  to  do  him  justice,  does  not  confine  himself  to  Irish  instances. 
He  shows  that  the  less  educated  Englishman,  or  even  the  educated  English- 
man in  his  hasty  and  unguarded  moments,  may  be  tripped  up  when  he  is 
essaying  to  take  a  metaphorical  flight.  He  tells  of  an  honorable  gentleman 
who  opposed  a  certain  measure  on  the  ground  "  that  it  was  opening  the  door 
for  the  insertion  of  the  thin  edge  of  the  wedge,"  a  preliminary  process  which 
should  at  least  tend  to  make  the  work  of  the  wedge  easy,  and  who  paid  a 
compliment  to  the  Chambers  of  Commerce  as  "the  intelligent  pioneers  who 
feel  the  pulse  of  the  commercial  community  ;"  whereas  pioneers  are  usually 
far  away  from  the  commercial  centres.  Another  advised  his  constituents, 
"When'you  have  laid  an  egg  put  it  by  for  a  rainy  day,"  on  which  Mr.  Lucy 
rightly  comments,  "  Why  electors  of  Blackburn  should  be  expected  to  lay  eggs 
is  a  question  that  disappears  before  the  greater  importance  of  the  query  why 
they  should  save  them  for  a  rainy  day." 

During  a  debate  on  the  foreign  policy  of  Lord  Beaconsfield's  government 
Mr.  Alderman  Cotton  solemnly  declared  that  "at  one  stage  of  the  negotia- 
tions a  great  European  struggle  was  so  imminent  that  it  only  required  a  spark 
to  let  slip  the  dogs  of  war."  It  was  on  the  same  night,  and  during  the  same 
debate,  that  Mr.  Forster  observed,  "  I  will,  Mr.  Speaker,  sit  down  by  saying," 
etc.  Mr.  Forster  has  always  been  an  adroit  politician,  but  what  new  sort  of 
manoeuvre  this  is  that  enables  a  man  to  "sit  down  by  saying"  remains  unex- 
plained. 

The  English  bar  as  well  as  the  English  legislative  halls  affords  instances  of 
this  delightful  sort  of  blundering.  Not  the  least  amusing  is  contained  in  the 
]jeroration  to  the  following  speech,  addressed  by  Lord  Kenyon  to  a  dishonest 
butler  who  had  been  convicted  of  stealing  large  quantities  of  wine  from  his 
master's  cellar:  "  Prisoner  at  the  bar,  you  stand  convicted  on  the  most  con- 
clusive evidence  of  a  crime  of  inexpressible  atrocity,  a  crime  that  defiles  the 
sacred  springs  of  domestic  confidence,  and  is  calculated  to  strike  alarm  into 
the  breast  of  every  Englishman  who  invests  largely  in  the  choicer  vintages 
60 


7IO  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

of  Southern  Europe.  Like  the  serpent  of  old,  you  have  stung  the  hand  of 
your  protector.  Fortunate  in  having  a  generous  employer,  you  might  without 
dishonesty  have  continued  to  supply  your  wretched  wife  and  children  with 
the  comforts  of  sufficient  prosperity,  and  even  with  some  of  the  luxuries  of 
affluence  ;  but,  dead  to  every  claim  of  natural  affection  and  blind  to  your  own 
real  interest,  you  burst  through  all  the  restraints  of  religion  and  morality,  and 
have  for  many  years  been  feathering  your  nest  with  your  master's  bottles." 

Let  us  go  abroad  for  a  moment.  When  the  delegates  of  Paris  workmen 
returned  from  the  Philadelphia  Exhibition  of  1876,  they  sent  Victor  Hugo  an 
invitation,  which  he  refused,  being  busy  with  his  "  Appeal  on  behalf  of  .'>ervia." 
Nevertheless,  in  his  enthusiasm  for  liberty  and  the  cause  of  insubordination 
everywhere,  he  telegraphed  his  sympathy  to  them  in  an  epigrammatic  con- 
fusion of  epithets, — saying  he  sent  them  "  a  grasp  of  the  hand  from  the  bottom 
of  his  heart." 

The  Irishman  who  said,  "  We  will  burn  all  our  ships,  and,  with  every  sail 
unfurled,  steer  boldly  out  into  the  ocean  of  freedom,"  was  more  than  matched 
by  Justice  Minister  Hye,  who,  addressing  the  Vienna  students  in  the  troublous 
times  of  1848,  declared  that  "the  chariot  of  the  revolution  is  rolling  along, 
and  gnashing  its  teeth  as  it  rolls."  In  Germany  there  still  exists  a  vivid  and 
grateful  recollection  of  the  address  made  by  the  mayor  of  a  Rhineland  cor- 
poration to  the  Emperor  William  I.  shortly  after  his  coronation  in  Versailles, 
which  contains  the  following  among  other  gems  of  thought :  "  No  Austria ! 
no  Prussia !  one  only  Germany  !  Such  were  the  words  the  mouth  of  your 
imperial  majesty  has  always  had  in  its  eye." 

But  why  should  we  expect  laymen  to  be  always  accurate,  when  literary  men, 
whose  especial  business  it  is  to  preserve  the  integrity  of  language,  go  so  often 
astray .'  Does  not  Shakespeare  himself  err,  as  in  the  famous  instance  where 
Hamlet  questions 

Whether  'tis  nobler  in  the  mind  to  suffer 

The  slings  and  arrows  of  outrageous  fortune. 

Or  to  take  arms  against  a  sea  of  troubles. 

And  by  opposing  end  them  ? 

Milton,  too,  has  his  figurative  confusions.  The  following  passage  occurs  in 
his  description  of  the  lazar-house  in  "  Paradise  Lost :" 

Sight  so  deform  what  heart  of  rock  could  long 
Dry-eyed  behold  ? 

This  curious  bit  of  blundering  has  not  even  the  luerit  of  originality.  It  is 
stolen  direct  from  Tibullus  : 

Flebis  :  non  tua  sunt  duro  prsecordia  ferro 
Vincta,  nee  in  tenero  stat  tibi  corde  silex. 

Eleg.,  i.  63. 

Dr.  Johnson,  in  his  ponderous  yet  very  effective  fashion,  has  made  much 
fun  of  a  couplet  by  Addison  : 

I  bridle  in  my  struggling  Muse  with  pain, 
Which  longs  to  launch  into  a  nobler  strain. 

"To  bridle  a  goddess,"  Johnson  points  out,  "is  no  very  delicate  idea;  but 
•why  must  she  be  bridled  >.  because  she  longs  to  launch,  an  act  which  was 
never  hindered  by  a  bridle  ;  and  whither  will  she  launch  ?  into  a  nobler  strain. 
She  is,  in  the  first  line,  a  horse  ;  in  the  second,  a  boat ;  and  the  care  of  the 
poet  is  to  keep  his  horse  or  his  boat  from  singing." 

Johnson  also  points  out  that  Poj^e,  in  borrowing  a  passage  from  Addison's 
"Campaign,"  has  ruined  it  by  confusing  the  metaphor.     Addison  said, — 

Marlborough's  exploits  appear  divinely  bright. — 
Raised  of  themselves,  their  genuine  charms  they  boast. 
And  those  that  paint  them  truest  praise  them  most. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  7" 

This  Pope  had  in  his  thoughts,  but,  not  knowing  how  to  use  what  was  not  his 
own,  he  spoiled  it,  thus  : 

The  well-sung  woes  shall  soothe  my  ghost ; 
He  best  can  paint  them  who  can  feel  them  most. 

"Martial  exploits  may  be  painted  ;  perhaps  woes  may  be  painted  :  but  they 
are  surely  not  painted  by  being  well  sung  :  it  is  not  easy  to  paint  in  song,  or 
to  sing  in  colors." 

Johnson's  method  in  these  excerpts  was  anticipated  by  Dryden,  who  thus 
took  to  pieces  two  lines  in  Elkanah  Settle's  tragedy  "The  Empress  of 
Morocco  :" 

To  flattering  lightning  our  feigned  smiles  conform 
Which,  backed  with  thunder,  do  but  gild  a  storm. 

"Conform  a  smile  to  lightning,"  says  Glorious  John,  "  make  a  smile  imitate 
lightning,  and  flattering  lightning ;  lightning,  sure,  is  a  threatening  thing. 
And  this  lightning  must  gild  a  storm.  Now  if  I  must  conform  my  smiles  to 
lightning,  then  my  smiles  must  gild  a  storm  too:  to  gild  with  smiles  is  a 
new  invention  of  gilding.  And  gild  a  storm  by  being  backed  with  thunder. 
Thunder  is  part  of  the  storm  ;  so  one  part  of  the  storm  must  help  to  gild 
another  part,  and  help  by  backing  ;  as  if  a  man  would  gild  a  thing  the  better 
for  being  backed,  or  having  a  load  upon  his  back.  So  that  here  is  gilding  by 
conforming,  smiling,  lightning,  backing,  and  thundering.  The  whole  is  as  if 
I  should  say  thus  :  I  will  make  my  counterfeit  smiles  look  like  a  flattering 
horse,  which,  being  backed  with  a  trooper,  does  but  gild  the  battle."  And 
Dryden  concludes,  "  I  am  mistaken  if  nonsense  is  not  here  pretty  thick-sown." 
But  Dryden,  too,  has  laid  himself  open  to  the  same  kind  of  criticism,  as  in 
the  lines  where  lie  speaks  of  seraphs  that 

unguarded  leave  the  sky. 
And  all  dissolved  in  hallelujahs  lie, 

a  verse  upon  which  a  critic  says,  "  I  have  heard  of  anchovies  dissolved  in 
sauce,  but  never  before  oi att  angel  dissolved  in  hallelujahs.'''' 

Perhaps  nowhere  in  all  poetic  literature,  in  the  same  limited  space  at  least, 
can  there  be  found  such  an  extraordinary  confusion  of  metaphors  as  in  Long- 
fellow's "  Psalm  of  Life."     Here  is  how  a  critic  in  the  Saturday  Review  once 
exposed  this  confusion.     "The  'Psalm  of  Life,'  if  there  be  any  meaning  in 
the  English  language,  is  gibberish.     Let  us  analyze  two  of  the  verses  : 
"  Lives  of  great  men  all  remind  us 
We  can  make  our  lives  sublime. 
And,  departing,  leave  behind  us 
Footprints  on  the  sands  of  time ; 

"  Footprints  that  perhaps  another, 
Sailirg  o'er  life's  solemn  main, 
A  forlorn  and  shipwrecked  brother. 
Seeing,  shall  take  heart  again. 

"Even  if  one  can  conceive  of  life  as  a  'solemn  main'  bordered  by  the 
•sands  of  time,'  how  can  the  mariners  on  the  main  leave  their  footprints  on 
the  sands  ?  And  what  possible  comfort  can  footprints  on  the  sands  be  to  a 
shipwrecked  brother  who,  despite  his  shipwreck,  still  keeps  persistently  sail- 
ing o'er  life's  solemn  main  ?  The  brother  must  have  very  sharp  eyes  if  he 
could  see  footprints  on  the  sand  from  his  raft,  for  his  ship  is  supposed  to  have 
been  wrecked  long  ago.  Perhaps  Mr.  Longfellow  was  thinking  of  the  foot- 
step which  Robinson  Crusoe  found  on  the  sand  of  his  desert  island.  But 
Robinson  was  not  sailing  when  he  detected  that  i.solated  phenomenon  ;  nor, 
when  he  saw  it,  did  he  'take  heart  again.'" 

But  Macaulay  deemed  that  he  had  found  the  worst  of  all  possible  simil- 
itudes.    In  his  review  of  Robert  Montgomery's  "  Poems"  he  cites  these  lines; 


712  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  soul,  aspiring,  pants  its  source  to  mount. 
As  streams  meander  level  with  their  fount. 

And  he  goes  on  to  say,  "  We  take  this  to  be,  on  the  whole,  the  worst  simil- 
itude in  the  world.  In  the  first  place,  no  stream  meanders,  or  can  possibly 
meander,  level  with  its  fount.  In  the  next  place,  if  streams  did  meander 
level  with  their  founts,  no  two  motions  can  be  less  like  each  other  than  that 
of  meandering  level  and  that  of  mounting  upward." 

Meteor  in  the  troubled  air.    Gray,  describing  his  Bard,  has  the  lines,iw 
Loose  his  beard  and  hoary  hair 
Streamed  like  a  meteor  to  the  troubled  ah. 

The  Bard,  i.  2. 

Milton  had  already  said  of  the  imperial  ensign  of  the  tall  cherub  Azazel, 
advanced  full  high  over  the  hosts  of  the  fallen  archangel,  that  it 
Shone  like  a  meteor  streaming  to  the  wind, 

Paradise  Lost,  Book  i.,  I.  537; 

and  Milton's  contemporary,  Cowley,  in  his  "  Davideis,"  Book  ii.,  I.  95,  says,— 
An  harmless  flaming  meteor  shone  for  hair, 
And  fell  adown  his  shoulders  with  loose  care. 

These  various  coincidences  have  been  more  frequently  noted  than  the 
resemblance  of  all  three  passages  to  a  line  in  Heywood's  "  Four  Prentices  of 
London,"  written  certainly  not  later  than  1599.  Turnus,  the  envoy  of  the 
Persian  Sophi,  speaking  of  his  master's  victorious  flag,  that  hangs  blowmg 
defiance  on  Sion  towers,  tells  us  that  it  shows 

Like  a  red  meteor  in  the  troubled  air. 


That  Milton  unconsciously  copied  Heywood  is  quite  possible ;  but  it  is 
evident  that  Gray  had  both  Milton  and  Heywood  in  mind,  for  his  lines  are 
produced  by  a  neat  eclecticism  from  both. 

Michael  Angelo's  Visiting-Card,  the  name  popularly  given  to  a  large 
charcoal  head  drawn  by  Michael  Angelo  on  a  wall  in  the  Borghese  palace. 
The  story,  as  told  by  Vasari,  runs  that  the  artist  called  on  Raphael  while  he 
was  engaged  in  painting  the  fresco  of  La  Galatea.  Raphael,  as  it  happened, 
had  just  stepped  out.  Thereupon  the  visitor  mounted  the  ladder,  and  with 
a  fragment  of  charcoal  drew  a  colossal  head  on  the  wall  beneath  the  cornice. 
Then  he  departed,  refusing  to  give  his  name  to  the  servant,  but  saying,  "  Show 
your  master  that,  and  he  will  know  who  I  am."  On  Raphael's  return  his 
servant  told  him  a  small  black-bearded  man  had  been  there  and  drawn  a  head 
on  the  wall  by  which  he  said  he  would  recognize  him.  Raphael  looked  up, 
saw  the  head,  and  exclaimed,  "Michael  Angelo!"  A  similar  story  is  told 
by  Pliny  of  Apelles  and  Protogenes.  The  point  of  it  is  that  Apelles,  on 
arriving  at  Rhodes,  immediately  went  to  call  upon  Protogenes,  but  found  him 
absent.  The  studio  was  in  charge  of  an  old  woman,  who,  after  Apelles  had 
looked  at  the  pictures,  asked  the  name  of  the  visitor  to  give  to  her  master  on 
his  return.  Apelles  did  not  answer  at  first,  but,  observing  a  large  black 
panel  prepared  for  painting  on  an  easel,  he  took  up  a  pencil  and  drew  an  ex- 
tremely delicate  outline  on  it,  saying,  "  He  will  recognize  me  by  this,"  and 
departed.  On  the  return  of  Protogenes,  being  informed  of  what  had  happened, 
he  looked  at  the  outline,  and,  struck  by  its  extreme  delicacy,  exclaimed,  "That 
is  Apelles  :  no  one  else  could  have  executed  so  perfect  a  work." 

Mickle  —  Muckle.  "Many  a  mickle  makes  a  muckle,"  a  thrifty  Scotch 
proverb,  mainly  used  to  express  the  same  meaning  as  the  English  "  Take 
care  of  the  pence,  and  the  pounds  will  take  care  of  themselves."    Nevertheless 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  713 

it  has  a  larger  application,  like  the  English  proverb  which  it  has  almost  super- 
seded, but  which  was  popular  in  Chaucer's  time  : 

The  proverbe  saith  that  many  a  smale  maketh  a  grate. 

The  Persones  Tale. 
This  wider  meaning  is  emphasized  by  Young  in  his  "  Love  of  Fame,"  vi,, 
1.  208 : 

Think  naught  a  trifle,  though  it  small  appear; 
Small  sands  the  mountain,  moments  make  the  year, 
And  trifles  life. 

Frances  S.  Osgood's  poem  on  "  Little  Things"  has  acquired  a  popularity 
which  is  out  of  all  proportion  to  its  literary  merit.  These  lines,  especially, 
have  become  household  words  : 

Little  drops  of  water,  little  grains  of  sand. 

Make  the  mighty  ocean  and  the  pleasant  land. 

Thus  the  little  minutes,  humble  though  they  be. 

Make  the  mighty  ages  of  eternity. 
******* 

Little  deeds  of  kindness,  little  words  of  love, 

Make  our  earth  an  Eden  like  the  heaven  above. 

Middle  Kingdom.  China  is  so  called  sometimes  with  the  sense  of  the 
Land  of  the  Happy  Mean,  from  the  habits  of  mediocrity  its  inhabitants  are 
supposed  to  have  imbibed  from  the  Confucian  philosophy  teaching  the 
choice  of  the  middle  course  in  all  things.  The  name  is,  however,  a  transla- 
tion of  Tchang-Kooe,  as  the  land  is  sometimes  called  by  the  Chinese,  from 
the  notion  that  they  are  the  true  hub  of  the  universe,  or  that  their  kingdom 
is  the  centre  of  the  world. 

Midnight  Judges.  After  their  defeat  in  the  Presidential  election  of  1800, 
the  Federalists  in  Congress,  as  one  of  their  last  acts,  passed  a  measure  cre- 
ating twenty-three  new  federal  judgeships.  The  public  interests  did  not  de- 
mand any  increase  in  the  numbers  of  the  judiciary,  and  the  sole  purpose  of 
the  act  was  to  provide  places  for  Federalist  partisans.  The  retiring  Presi- 
dent, John  Adams,  was  occupied  until  after  midnight  on  the  last  day  of  his 
term  signing  commissions  for  these  newly-created  Daniels,  who  consequently 
were  contemptuously  called  "Midnight  Judges." 

Mileage  Expose.  An  allowance  of  a  certain  percentage  per  mile  is  pro- 
vided by  law  to  public  functionaries,  witnesses  subpoenaed  from  a  distance,  and 
the  like,  as  an  indemnity  for  travelling  expenses  from  their  homes  to  the  place 
where  their  services  are  required  and  home  again.  A  similar  provision  is 
made  to  pay  travelling  expenses  to  members  of  Congress  to  attend  the  ses- 
sions at  the  national  capital.  It  had  been  a  practice  among  members,  con- 
demned by  some  of  the  more  conscientious,  but  adhered  to  by  the  large 
majority,  as  the  unwritten  law  regulating  their  perquisites,  to  exact  payment 
of  "constructive"  mileage,  whether  the  journey  had  in  fact  been  undertaken 
or  not,  as  when  an  extra  session  of  Congress  was  called,  the  members  still 
being  present  at  the  capital.  In  computing  their  mileage  fees,  furthermore, 
members  had  not  been  very  careful  to  base  their  pay  on  the  shortest  existing 
mail-route  :  so  that  in  his  expose  of  December  22,  1848,  Horace  Greeley  was 
able  to  show  that  the  total  excess,  from  this  reason,  paid  to  the  members  of 
the  Thirtieth  Congress  was  seventy-three  thousand  four  hundred  and  ninety- 
two  dollars  and  sixty  cents,  and  the  excess  in  miles  was  one  hundred  and 
eighty-three  thousand  and  thirty-one.  Almost  every  Congressman  had  failed 
to  make  his  journey  as  short  as  possible.  The  revelations  of  Greeley  caused 
considerable  ill  feeling  against  him,  but  resulted  in  an  appreciable  reduction 
of  mileage  charges,  and  a  few  years  later  the  rate  of  allowance  was  reduced 
one-half,  and  the  charge  for  "constructive"  mileage  prohibited  by  law. 
60* 


714  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Mill  will  never  grind  again  with  the  water  that  has  passed,  a 

proverb  which  has  been   borrowed  from  the  East.     In  Trench's  "  Poems," 
under  the  head  of  "  Proverbs,  Turkish  and  Persian,"  it  is  given  as  follows : 

Oh,  seize  the  instant  time  ;  you  never  will 
With  waters  once  passed  by  impel  the  mill. 

Compare  the  Spanish  proverb  "  Agua  pasada  no  muele  molino." 
Listen  to  the  water-mill 

Through  the  livelong  day. 
How  the  clicking  of  its  wheels 

Wears  the  hours  away  ! 
Languidly^the  autumn  wind 

Stirs  the  forest  leaves, 
From  the  fields  the  reapers  sing. 

Binding  up  the  sheaves  ; 
And  a  proverb  haunts  my  mind 

As  a  spell  is  cast, — 
"  The  mill  can  never  grind 

With  the  water  that  is  past." 

Sarah  Doudney:   The  Water-Milt. 

The  proverb  is  also  used  by  Jean  Ingelow,  in  "  A  Parson's  Letter  to  a 
Young  Poet :" 

The  mill  can  grind  no  more 
With  water  that  hath  passed. 

Mill-Boy  of  the  Slashes,  a  political  nickname  of  Henry  Clay,  who  was 
born  in  the  neighborhood  of  a  region  in  Hanover  County,  Virginia,  known 
as  "  the  Slashes"  (a  local  term  for  low,  swampy  country),  where  there  was 
a  mill,  to  which  he  was  often  sent  on  errands,  and  where  he  was  presumed  to 
have  been  employed,  when  a  boy. 

Miller,  Joe,  the  feigned  author  of  a  famous  book  of  jests.  Hence  a  Joe 
Miller,  in  vernacular  English,  is  a  chestnut,  a  twice-told  tale. 

Joe  Miller  himself  was  a  comedian  who  flourished  in  the  reign  of  George 
the  First,  and  who,  off  the  boards,  was  so  exceptionally  grave  and  taciturn  that 
when  any  joke  was  related  his  friends  would  father  it  on  him.  They  even 
kept  up  the  practice  after  his  death,  which  occurred  in  1738.  It  appears  that 
he  left  his  family  totally  unprovided  for,  and  John  Mottley  was  employed  to 
collect  all  the  stray  jests  current  about  town  and  publish  them  for  the  benefit 
of  the  widow  and  children,  under  this  title  : 

"Joe  Miller's  Jests  :  or.  The  Wits  Vade-Mecum.  Being  a  Collection 
of  the  most  Brilliant  Jests  ;  the  Politest  Repartees  ;  the  most  Elegant  Bons 
Mots,  and  most  pleasant  short  Stories  in  the  English  Language.  First  care- 
fully collected  in  the  Company,  and  many  of  them  transcribed  from  the  Mouth 
of  the  Facetious  Gentleman,  whose  Name  they  bear ;  and  now  set  forth  and 
published  by  his  lamentable  Friend  and  former  Companion,  Elijah  Jenkins, 
Esq. ;  most  Humbly  Inscribed  to  those  Choice-Spirits  of  the  Age,  Captain 
Bodens,  Mr.  Alexander  Pope,  Mr.  Professor  Lacy,  Mr.  Orator  Henley,  and 
Job  Baker,  the  Kettle-Drummer.  London  :  Printed  and  Sold  by  T.  Read, 
in  Dogwell-Court,  White-Fryars,  Fleet-Street.  Mdccxxxix.  (Price  One 
Shilling.) 

Mottley  doubtless  had  a  fellow-feeling  for  the  destitute  family,  for  he  was 
himself  "  a  man  that  hath  had  losses,  go  to!"  He  was  the  son  of  Colonel 
Mottley,  who  was  a  favorite  with  James  II.  and  who  followed  the  fortunes 
of  that  prince  to  France.  By  the  influence  of  his  relative.  Lord  Howe,  the 
son  got  a  place  in  the  Excise  Office  at  sixteen  years  of  age,  but,  being  obliged 
to  resign  on  account  of  unfortunate  speculations,  he  applied  to  his  pen,  which 
had  hitherto  been  only  his  amusement,  for  the  means  of  immediate  support. 
In  that  day  plays  occupied  the  place  now  held  by  novels,  and  Mottley  natu- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  715 

rally  turned  his  attention  to  the  drama.  He  was  tolerably  successful  as  a 
writer,  though  his  "Imperial  Captive,"  "Autiochus,"  "Penelope,"  "The 
Craftsman,"  and  "The  Widow  Bewitched"  are  no  longer  acted.  After  the 
question  of  authorship  is  settled,  the  inquiry  naturally  arises,  Who  was  Elijah 
Jenkins,  Esq.,  and  who  were  those  Choice- Spirits  of  the  Age,  Captain  Bodens, 
Mr.  Professor  Lacy  ?  and  above  all,  who  was  Job  Baker,  the  Kettle-Drummer  t 
Job  stands  patiently  on  the  title-page  without  even  a  "  Mr."  before  his  name. 
As  to  Mr.  Alexander  Pope,  he  is  too  well  known  to  be  mistaken,  and  Mr.  Orator 
Henley  was  immortalized  in  the  "  Dunciad"  as  "  the  Zany  of  the  age."  He 
figures  also  in  one  of  Hogarth's  prints,  gesticulating  on  a  platform,  a  monkey  by 
his  side,  with  the  motto  "  Amen."  Disappointed  of  preferment  in  the  Church, 
Henley  formed  the  plan  of  giving  lectures  or  orations,  to  which  the  admission 
was  one  shilling.  On  Sundays  he  took  theological  subjects,  and  on  Wednes- 
days he  poured  out  his  gall  in  political  harangues.  On  one  occasion  he  filled 
his  Oratory,  as  he  called  it,  with  shoemakers,  by  announcing  to  them  that  he 
would  teach  a  new  and  short  way  of  making  shoes,  which  was  to  cut  off  the 
tops  of  ready-made  boots.  With  regard  to  the  contents,  the  plain-spoken 
words  used  make  it  impossible  to  quote  many  of  the  anecdotes.  To  give  the 
reader  some  idea,  however,  of  the  character  of  the  genuine  Joe  Miller,  take 
the  following  : 

Colonel ,  who  made  the  fine  Fire- Works  in  St.  James's  Square,  upon  the  peace  of 

Resivick,  being  in  Company  with  some  Ladies,  was  highly  commending  the  Epitaph  just  then 
set  up  in  the  Abbey  on  Mr.  PurceV s  Monument, 


He  is  gone  to  that  Place  where  only  his  own  Harmony  can  be  exceeded. 

Colonel,  said  one  of  the  Ladies,  the  same  Epitaph  might  serve  for  you,  by  alte 
nly  : 

He  is  gone  to  that  Place  where  only  his  own  Fire-Works  can  be  exceeded. 


Again  : 

Two  Brothers  coming  to  be  executed  once  for  some  enormous  Crime  :  the  Eldest  was  first 
turned  off,  without  saying  one  word :  The  other  mounting  the  Ladder,  began  to  harangue  the 
Crowd,  whose  Ears  were  attentively  open  to  hear  him,  expecting  some  Confession  from  him. 
Good  People,  says  he,  my  Brother  hangs  before  my  Face,  and  you  see  what  a  lamentable 
Spectacle  he  makes  ;  in  a  few  Moments  I  shall  be  turned  off  too,  and  then  you'll  see  a 
Pair  of  Spectacles. 

But  here  we  have  a  regular  "  old  Joe  :" 

A  poor  man,  who  had  a  termagant  Wife,  after  a  long  Dispute,  in  which  she  was  resolved  to 
have  the  last  Word,  told  her,  if  she  spoke  one  more  crooked  Word  he'd  beat  her  Brains  out : 
Why  then  Ram^s  Horns,  you  Rogue,  said  she,  if  I  die  for't. 

There  are  few  good  jokes  among  the  whole  one  hundred  and  ninety-eight 
that  make  up  the  volume.  The  majority  turn  chiefly  on  the  mistakes  of 
Irishmen,  the  thriftlessness  of  sailors,  the  simple  resource  of  calling  one's 
opponent  an  ass,  the  evils  of  matrimony,  and  the  failings  of  parsons.  From 
the  earliest  to  the  latest  jokers  the  two  latter  themes  have  proved  inex- 
haustibly fruitful.  They  all  assume  as  an  incontestable  basis  of  wit  that  hus- 
bands are  heartily  tired  of  their  wives,  and  as  women  either  do  not  make  such 
broad  jokes,  or  do  not  succeed  in  getting  them  recorded,  the  point  is  always 
against  the  wives  and  for  the  husbands.  It  is  always  taken  for  granted  that 
the  husband  is  the  loser  in  the  matrimonial  bargain,  and  that  he  feels  an  un- 
affected and  unconcealed  delight  when  the  death  of  his  incumbrance  sets  him 
free.  There  are  many  stories  like  that  of  the  wild  young  gentleman  who, 
"having  married  a  very  discreet,  virtuous  young  lady,  the  better  to  reclaim 
him,  she  caused  it  to  be  given  out  at  his  return  that  she  was  dead  and  had 
been  buried.  In  the  mean  time  she  had  so  placed  herself  in  disguise  as  to  be 
able  to  observe  how  he  took  the  news ;  and  finding*  him  still  the  gay,  incon- 


7i6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

stant  man  he  always  had  been,  she  appeared  to  him  as  the  ghost  of  herself,  at 
which  he  seemed  not  at  all  dismayed.  At  length  disclosing  herself  to  him, 
he  then  appeared  pretty  much  surprised.  A  person  by  said,  '  Why,  sir,  you 
seem  more  afraid  now  than  before  !'  '  Ay,'  replied  he,  '  most  men  are  more 
afraid  of  a  living  wife  than  of  a  dead  one.'  " 

So,  too,  with  parsons.  However  firmly  they  may  be  attached  to  their  Church 
and  to  their  minister,  most  men  like  to  meet  on  the  pleasant  neutral  ground 
of  laughing  at  a  parson.  And  not  only  they,  but  clergymen  also,  often  even  the 
preachers  themselves,  agree  in  thinking  sermons  a  fair  target  for  all  the  shafts 
of  ridicule.  There  is  some  drollery  about  the  following  :  "  A  vicar  and  curate 
of  a  village,  where  there  was  to  be  a  burial,  were  at  variance.  The  vicar  not 
coming  in  time,  the  curate  began  the  service,  and  was  reading  the  words  '  I 
am  the  resurrection,'  when  the  vicar  arrived  almost  out  of  breath,  and,  snatch- 
ing the  book  out  of  the  curate's  hands,  with  great  scorn  cried,  '•You  the 
resurrection  !     I  am  the  resurrection,'  and  then  went  on." 

The  feeling  against  parsons  cannot,  however,  be  so  strong  as  that  against 
wives,  for  occasionally  the  parson  is  allowed  to  come  off  triumphant  and  have 
the  best  of  the  story.  As  thus  :  "The  witty  and  licentious  Earl  of  Roches- 
ter, meeting  with  the  great  Isaac  Barrow  in  the  Park,  told  his  companions 
that  he  would  have  some  fun  with  the  rusty  old  put.  Accordingly  he  went 
off  with  great  gravity,  and,  taking  off  his  hat,  made  the  doctor  a  profound 
bow,  saying,  '  Doctor,  I  am  yours  to  my  shoe-tie.'  The  doctor,  seeing  his 
drift,  immediately  pulled  off  his  beaver  and  returned  the  bow  with,  'My  lord, 
I  am  yours  to  the  ground.'  Rochester  followed  up  his  salutation  by  a  deeper 
bow,  saying,  'Doctor,  I  am  yours  to  the  centre.'  Barrow,  with  a  very  lowly 
obeisance,  replied,  'My  lord,  I  am  yours  to  the  antipodes.'  His  lordship, 
nearly  gravelled,  exclaimed,  '  Doctor,  I  am  yours  to  the  lowest  pit  of  hell.' 
'There,  my  lord,'  said  Barrow,  sarcastically,  '  I  leave  you,'  and  walked  off." 

This  story  has  some  kinship  to  a  kind  of  joke  which  has  now  passed  away, 
and  the  wonder  is  how  it  ever  can  have  existed,  so  elaborate  is  it  and  re- 
quiring to  be  supported  by  such  complicated  machinery.  For  example,  in 
Joe  Miller  we  read  that  "a  gentleman  being  at  dinner  at  a  friend's  house,  the 
first  thing  that  came  upon  the  table  was  a  dish  of  whitings,  and,  on  being  put 
upon  his  plate,  he  found  it  smell  so  strong  that  he  could  not  eat  a  bit  of  it ; 
but  he  laid  his  mouth  down  to  the  fish  as  if  he  was  whispering  with  it,  and 
then  took  up  the  plate  and  put  it  to  his  own  ear.  The  gentleman  at  whose 
table  he  was  inquiring  into  the  meaning,  he  told  him  that  he  had  a  brother 
lost  at  sea  about  a  fortnight  ago,  and  he  was  asking  that  fish  if  he  knew  any- 
thing of  him.  'And  what  answer  made  he.-"  said  the  gentleman.  'He  told 
me,'  said  he,  '  that  he  could  give  me  no  account  of  him,  for  he  had  not  been 
at  sea  for  three  weeks.' " 

Now  let  us  fancy  this  in  real  life.  You  see  a  man  whispering  over  his 
plate,  and  if  we  suppose  that  in  politeness  you  pass  over  the  action  as  simply 
idiotic,  the  whole  joke  is  irretrievably  lost.  But  you  are  kind  enough  to  in- 
quire what  he  means.  His  answer  is  wholly  enigmatic.  The  natural  re- 
joinder would  be  to  ask  what  on  earth  he  was  driving  at ;  but  the  convenient 
gentleman  of  the  story  inquires  what  the  fish  has  been  saying,  and  this 
affords  the  jester  an  opening  to  come  to  his  point. 

So,  too,  we  are  told  that  "an  Englishman  going  into  one  of  the  French 
ordinaries  in  Soho,  and  finding  a  large  dish  of  soup  with  about  half  a  pound 
of  mutton  in  the  middle  of  it,  began  to  pull  off  his  wig,  stock,  and  coat; 
at  which  one  of  the  monsieurs,  being  much  surprised,  asked  him  what  he 
was  going  to  do.  '  Why,  monsieur,'  said  he,  '  I  mean  to  strip,  that  I  may 
swim  through  this  ocean  of  porridge  to  yon  little  island  of  mutton.'  "  Let 
us  suppose  that  nobody  had  noticed  the  man  after  he  had  got  off  his  wig, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  717 

stock,  and  coat,  and  that  the  "monsieurs"  had  quietly  consumed  the  island  of 
mutton,  the  miserable  jester,  instead  of  discomfiting  the  Frenchman  with  a 
joke,  would  simply  have  had  to  re-dress  and  lose  his  dinner. 

Whether  such  jokes  were  ever  ventured  on  in  real  life  it  is  hard  to  say. 
The  extreme  absurdity  of  the  joker's  position  if  his  joke  hung  fire,  and  the 
probability  that  in  the  majority  of  cases  it  would  hang  fire,  seem  such  obvious 
considerations  that  we  can  hardly  understand  any  one  overlooking  them. 

It  is,  however,  possible  that  the  public  may  have  been  trained  to  appreciate 
and  assist  such  jokers,  for  these  jests  are  said  to  have  been  favored  by  persons 
whose  countenance  was  sure  to  command  respect  and  provoke  imitation.  It 
is  related  of  James  I.  that  on  one  of  his  progresses  he  asked,  "  How  far  it 
was  to  such  a  town.  They  told  him,  six  miles  and  a  half  He  alighted  from 
his  coach,  and  went  under  the  shoulder  of  one  of  the  led  horses.  When 
some  one  asked  his  majesty  what  he  meant,  '  I  nmst  stalk,  for  yonder  town 
is  shy  and  flies  me.'"  An  absurd  king  can  make  absurdity  fashionable,  and 
if  subjects  see  the  sovereign  stalking  under  the  shoulder  of  a  led  horse,  they 
need  not  be  ashamed  of  whispering  to  putrid  fish  or  taking  off  their  coats  to 
get  at  the  meat  in  a  basin  of  soup. 

Miller,  To  drown  the,  an  Americanism,  meaning  to  put  too  much  water 
in  the  flour  in  making  bread.  Barrere  and  Leland  scout  Bartlett's  attribution 
of  this  saying  to  an  English  source  and  attempted  affiliation  with  such  Eng- 
lish phrases  as  "putting  the  miller's  eye  out,"  used  when  too  much  liquid  is 
put  to  a  dry  or  powdery  substance.  "  As  water-mills  are  far  more  common 
in  the  United  States  than  windmills,  Mr.  Bartlett  might  easily  have  found 
an  apter  illustration  for  the  saying  than  that  which  he  has  adopted,  and  left 
both  England  and  the  baker  out  of  the  question.  The  water  is  said  to 
•drown  the  miller'  when  the  mill-wheels  are  rendered  useless  for  work  in 
flood-time  by  superabundance  of  the  fluid.  The  saying  was  exemplified  by 
the  American  miller,  whose  wife,  in  his  opinion,  was  a  great  poetess,  who, 
seeing  that  the  useful  mill-stream  had  become  a  raging,  useless  torrent, 
looked  up  to  it,  her  eye  in  a  fine  frenzy  rolling,  and  exclaimed, — 

'  This  here  water 
Comes  down  much  faster  than  it  ought  ter  1'  " 

"  To  give  one  the  miller"  is  an  English  expression,  meaning  the  same  as  to 
mill, — i.e.,  to  beat,  to  pound  with  the  fist  or  with  stones. 

Millions  for  defence,  but  not  one  cent  for  tribute.  When  John  Jay, 
in  1796,  made  his  famous  treaty  with  England  which  threatened  to  involve  the 
United  States  in  a  war  with  France,  the  Directory  would  not  receive  the 
American  ambassador,  Charles  Cotesworth  Pinckney,  but  intimated  that  the 
payment  of  a  certain  sum  might  settle  the  dispute.  Pinckney  indignantly 
answered  with  the  now  historic  phrase.  It  is  said,  however,  that,  long  after- 
wards, when  Pinckney  was  asked  in  his  club  whether  he  had  ever  uttered  it,  he 
replied,  "  No  ;  my  answer  was  not  a  flourish  like  that,  but  simply,  '  Not  a 
penny,  not  a  penny.'  " 

Mind.  My  mind  to  me  a  kingdom  is,  the  first  line  of  a  poem  by 
Edward  Dyer  (1540-1607),  which  has  been  much  imitated  : 

My  mind  to  me  a  kingdom  is  ; 

Such  present  joys  therein  I  find, 
That  it  excels  all  other  bliss 

That  earth  affords  or  grows  by  kind  : 
Though  much  I  want  which  most  would  have. 
Yet  still  my  mind  forbids  to  crave. 

MS.  RawL,  85,  p.  17. 


7l8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

In  Byrd's  "  Psalmes,  Sonnets,  etc."  (158S),  this,  first,  stanza  appears  as 
follows : 

My  mind  to  me  a  kingdom  is ; 

Such  perfect  joy  therein  I  find, 
As  far  exceeds  all  earthly  bliss 

That  God  and  Nature  hath  assigned. 
Though  much  I  want  that  most  would  have. 
Yet  still  my  mind  forbids  to  crave. 

Robert  Southwell's  imitation  is  the  best  known  : 
My  mind  to  me  an  empire  is, 
While  grace  affordeth  health. 

Robert  Southwell  (1560-1595) :  Loo  Home. 

Milton's  lines  are  only  remotely  analogous  : 

The  mind  is  its  own  place,  and  in  itself 
Can  make  a  heaven  of  hell,  a  hell  of  heaven. 

Paradise  Lost,  Book  i.,  1.  253. 

All  these  expressions,  however,  may  be  referred  back  to  Seneca's 
Mens  regnum  bona  possidet  ("  A  good  mind  possesses  a  kingdom"). —  Thyestes,  ii.  38a 
Publius  Syrus  also  has  a  glimpse  of  the  same  truth  when  he  says, — 
No  man  is  happy  who  does  not  think  himself  so. — Maxim  584. 

Therefore  Spenser  rightly  says, — 

The  noblest  mind  the  best  contentment  has. 

Faerie  Queene, 
But  it  finds  it  within  itself,  and  there  alone  : 

Vain,  very  vain,  my  weary  search  to  find 
That  bliss  which  only  centres  in  the  mind. 

Goldsmith  :   The  Traveller,  I.  423. 


Mind  and  matter.  When  Bishop  Berkeley,  in  his  "  Theory  of  Vision" 
(1709),  first  acquainted  the  English  public  with  the  metaphysical  theory  that 
the  world  of  matter  has  no  existence  save  in  the  minds  of  thinking  men  (in 
metaphysical  language,  that  matter  is  phenomenon,  not  noumenon),  there  was 
an  outburst  of  derision  among  the  wits  and  "the  men  of  sense."  Even  the 
great  Dr.  Johnson  thought  he  had  scored  a  point  when,  in  answer  to  Boswell's 
claim  that  those  who  were  convinced  the  theory  was  untrue  could  not  refute 
it,  he  struck  his  foot  against  a  stone  and  cried,  "  Sir,  I  refute  it  thus."  Again, 
when  a  Berkeleyite,  after  a  long  argument,  was  leaving  the  company,  Johnson 
exclaimed,  "  Pray,  sir,  don't  leave  us  ;  for  we  may  perhaps  forget  to  think  of 
you,  and  then  you  will  cease  to  exist."  Humor  of  this  sort  might  have  been 
more  properly  left  to  the  gentlemen  described  by  John  Brown  in  his  "  Essay 
on  Satire,  occasioned  by  the  Death  of  Mr.  Pope :" 

And  coxcombs  vanquish  Berkeley  with  a  grin. 
Yet  Byron,  who  was  no  mere  coxcomb,  has  echoed  it : 

When  Bishop  Berkeley  said  "  there  was  no  matter," 

And  proved  it — 'twas  no  matter  what  he  said : 
They  say  his  system  'tis  in  vain  to  batter, 
Too  subtile  for  the  airiest  human  head  ; 
And  yet  who  can  believe  it  ?     I  would  shatter 

Gladly  all  matters  down  to  stone  or  lead. 
Or  adamant,  to  find  the  world  a  spirit. 

And  wear  my  head,  denying  that  I  wear  it. 

Don  Juan, 

An  anonymous  hand  has  produced  the  following  : 
What  is  mind?     No  matter  ! 
What  is  matter?     Never  mind  ! 
What  is  soul  ?     It  is  immaterial ! 
but  this  is  rather  3.  jeu-d' esprit  than  a  burlesque  on  any  particular  theory. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  7^9 

If  Berkeley  has  been  traduced,  so  have  all  who  held  views  that  assimilated 
to  Berkeley's.     The  following  is  an  imaginary  epitaph  on  Hume  : 
Beneath  this  circular  idea,  vulgarly  called  toinb. 
Impressions  and  ideas  rest,  which  constituted  Hume. 
Stuart  Mill  on  Mind  and  Matter 

All  our  old  Beliefs  would  scatter  : 
Stuart  Mill  exerts  his  skill 

To  make  an  end  of  Mind  and  Matter. 

But  had  I  skill  like  Stuart  Mill, 

His  own  position  I  could  shatter : 
The  weight  of  Mill  I  count  as  Nil— 
If  Mill  has  neither  Mind  nor  Matter. 

Lord  N eaves:  Songs  and  Verses. 
We  can't  assume,  so  Comte  declares,  a  first  or  final  cause,  sir; 
Phenomena  are  all  we  know,  their  order  and  their  laws,  sir  ; 
While  Hegel's  modest  formula,  a  single  line  to  sum  in. 
Is  "  Nothing  is,  and  nothing's  not,  but  everything's  becomin'." 

F.  D.,  in  Pall  Mall  Gazette. 

Mind  diseased.    In  "  Macbeth,"  Act  v.,  Sc.  3,  Macbeth  asks  the  doctor, — 

Canst  thou  not  minister  to  a  mind  diseased. 
Pluck  from  the  memory  a  rooted  sorrow. 
Raze  out  the  written  troubles  of  the  brain. 
And,  with  some  sweet,  oblivious  antidote. 
Cleanse  the  stuffed  bosom  of  that  perilous  stuflF 
Which  weighs  upon  the  heart  ? 
And  when  the  physician  answers  that  in  such  case  the  patient  "  must  minister 
to  himself,"  Macbeth  cries  impatiently, — 

Throw  physic  to  the  dogs  !  I'll  none  of  it. 
The  impotence  of  medicine  in  the  presence  of  moral  and  mental  distress 
had  become  a  commonplace  with  the  poets  even  before  Shakespeare's  time. 
In  "  Lancelot  of  the  Laik,"  1.  2075,  are  the  lines, — 
So  can  he  heill  Infyrmytee  of  thoght, 
Wich  that  one  erdly  medesyne  can  noght ; 

****** 
On  to  his  cure  no  medesyne  is  found. 

Here  are  a  few  parallels  from  Shakespeare's  contemporaries  or  immediate 
predecessors : 

Nature,  too  unkind. 
That  made  no  medicine  for  a  troubled  mind. 

Bkaumont  and  Fletcher  :  Philaster,  iii.  i. 
Ah  !  but  none  of  them  will  purge  the  heart ! 
No,  there's  no  medicine  left  for  my  disease. 

Spanish  Tragedy,  iv. 
No  physic  strong  to  cure  a  tortured  mind. 

Ford  :  Love's  Sacrifice,  ii.  3. 
But  where  that  herb  or  science  can  you  find 
That  hath  the  virtue  to  restore  the  mind  ? 

Webster  :   Thracian  Wonder,  iv.  2. 
O  ye  Gods,  have  ye  ordeyned  for  euery  malady  a  medicine,  for  euery  sore  a  salue,  for 
euery  paine  a  playster,  leauing  only  loue  remedilesse? — Lylv  :  Euphues,  Arber's  ed.,  p.  61. 

Mind's  Eye.     "  In  my  mind's  eye,  Horatio,"  says  Hamlet  (Act  i.  Sc.  2). 
And  elsewhere  Shakespeare  says, — 

For  much  imaginary  work  was  there  ; 
Conceit  deceitful,  so  compact,  so  kind. 
That  for  Achilles'  image  stood  his  spear, 
Griped  in  an  armed  hand ;  himself  behind 
Was  left  unseen,  save  to  the  eye  of  mind  : 
A  hand,  a  foot,  a  face,  a  leg,  a  head. 
Stood  for  the  whole  to  be  imagined, 

Lucrece,  U.  1422-28. 


720  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  phrase,  however,  was  a  common  one  long  before  Shakespeare.  It  may 
be  found  in  the  classics.     Thus,  Ovid, — 

Cunctaque  mens  oculis  pervidit  usa  suis, 

Ep.  ex  Ponio,  I.,  viii.  34; 

and  Cicero,  "Oculis  mentis  videre  aliquid"  (Orat.  102).  A  parallel  phrase  in 
Aristotle  runs,  (if  ydp  adi/ian  vipic,  f^  '/'"A'^  *'^^'?  (£(/i.  Nic,  I.,  vi.  12).  In  the 
New  Testament  {Ephesians  i.  iS)  there  occurs  the  expression  7:e(l)(jTta/j.Evovc  tovc 
ocpdaXfxovc  Tfji  Kapdiac ;  where  the  reading  of  some  cursives,  and  of  the  textus 
receptus,  has  diavoiw;.  So  Estius  in  his  Commentary  gives  oculos  mentis  as 
the  proper  translation  of  the  Greek.  In  Tyndale's,  Cranmer's,  and  the 
Genevan  versions  the  translation  is  "  the  eyes  of  youre  myndes  ;"  while  the 
Bishops'  Bible  has  the  slightly  varying  form  "  the  eyes  of  our  mindes  :"  so 
that  this  was  a  Scriptural  phrase  in  Shakespeare's  time.  The  Authorized 
Version,  it  may  be  added,  has  "the  eyes  of  the  understanding."  But  indeed, 
as  J.  Carrick  Moore  points  out,  the  earliest  example  of  the  use  of  this  meta- 
phor goes  back  to  the  very  origin  of  language.  They  who  invented  the  word 
idea  from  a  verb  which  meant  to  "see,"  and  who  used  the  same  word  bv&a  to 
express  "  I  have  seen"  and  "  I  know,"  were  using  this  metaphorical  expres- 
sion. 

Minerva  Press,  the  name  of  a  printing-establishment  in  Leadenhall  Street, 
London,  which  has  become  almost  a  synonyme  for  literary  inanity,  from  the 
flood  of  trashy,  ultra-sentimental,  but  very  popular  "  novels  of  real  life"  which 
issued  from  it  in  the  early  part  of  the  present  and  the  end  of  the  last  century. 
They  were  remarkable  for  their  complicated  plots  and  the  labyrinths  of  diffi- 
culties into  which  the  hero  and  heroine  got  involved  before  the  final  consum- 
mation.    It  is  often  referred  to  by  English  writers : 

Scarcely  in  the  Minerva  Press  is  there  record  of  such  surpassing,  infinite,  and  inextricable 
obstruction  to  a  wedding  or  a  double  wedding. — Carlyle. 


The  heroes  of  its  issue  are  described  by  Lamb  as  "  persons  neither  of  this 
world  nor  of  any  conceivable  one  ;  an  endless  string  of  activities  without  pur- 
pose, of  purposes  without  a  motive." 

Hesperus  and  Titan  themselves,  though  in  form  nothing  more  than  "novels  of  real  life," 
as  the  Minerva  Press  would  say,  have  solid  metal  enough  in  them  to  furnish  whole  circulating 
libraries,  were  it  beaten  out  into  the  usual  filigree. — CARL-iXK  :  Jean  t'aul  Friedrich  Richter. 

Mirth  and  melancholy.  Hood,  in  his  "  Ode  to  Melancholy,"  has  the 
lines, — 

There's  not  a  string  attuned  to  mirth 
But  has  its  birth  in  melancholy. 

This  is  exactly  the  "humorous  sadness"  which  Jaques  discovers  in  him- 
self: "It  is  a  melancholy  of  mine  own,  compounded  of  many  simples,  ex- 
tracted from  many  objects,  and  indeed  the  sundry  contemplation  of  my 
travels,  in  which  my  often  rumination  wraps  me  in  a  most  humorous  sad- 
ness."— As  You  Like  It,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  i. 

The  great  humorists,  indeed,  have  always  been  melancholy.  Young,  the 
author  of  the  sombre  "Night  Thoughts,"  might  be  gay  and  flippant  in  his 
every-day  mood,  but  Moliere,  Rabelais,  Swift,  and  Heine  carried  a  great  gloom 
in  their  hearts,  and,  in  Byron's  phrase,  laughed  that  they  might  not  cry.  (See 
Laughter.)  There  is  a  famous  story  told  usually  of  Grimaldi,  but  some- 
times of  other  famous  clowns  or  comedians.  A  patient  applies  to  a  doctor, 
praying  for  some  cure  for  acute  melancholia.  "Go  and  see  Grimaldi," 
suggests  the  medical  man.  "Alas!  I  am  Grimaldi."  Anecdotes  run  in 
cycles.  This  story  is  authentically  related  of  Dr.  Erasmus  Darwin,  grand- 
father of  the  more  famous  Charles.     He  went  down  to  London  to  consult  a 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  721 

famous  specialist.  "  There  is  only  one  man  who  can  treat  you  properly," 
was  the  specialist's  conclusion  after  a  minute  examination,  "and  that  is  Dr. 
Darwin  of  Derby."     "But  I  am  Dr.  Darwin  of  Derby,"  replied  the  patient. 

We  look  before  and  after, 

And  pine  for  what  is  not ; 
Our  sincerest  laughter 

With  some  pain  is  fraught. 
Our  sweetest  songs  are  those  that  tell  of  saddest  thought. 

Shelley:   The  Skylark. 

Misery  loves  company,  a  common  proverb,  which  seems  to  have  found 
its  first  literary  expression  in  Maxim  995  of  Publius  Syrus  (B.C.  42)  :  "It  is  a 
consolation  to  the  wretched  to  have  companions  in  misery."  Syrus  himself 
puts  the  same  thought  in  another  way  in  Maxim  144;  "  Society  in  shipwreck 
is  a  comfort  to  all."  The  phrase  is  also  sometimes  used  to  express  the  idea 
that  "  misfortunes  never  come  singly." 

Misfortunes  never  come  singly,  a  popular  proverb  in  all  languages. 
"It  never  rains  but  it  pours"  is  another  proverb  of  the  same  sort,  though  of 
a  wider  application,  as  it  may  allude  to  joys  as  well  as  sorrows,  to  good  luck 
as  well  as  bad.     Young  has  put  the  thought  into  verse,  as  follows : 
Woes  cluster,  rare  are  solitary  woes  ; 
They  love  a  train,  they  tread  each  other's  heel. 

Night  Thoughts,  iii.,  1.  63. 

Young's  lines  are  an  evident  reminiscence  of  Shakespeare : 
One  woe  doth  tread  upon  another's  heel. 
Go  fast  they  follow. 

Hamlet,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  7. 

Pope  in  his  "  Iliad"  has  said,  "  And  woe  succeeds  to  woe"  (Book  xvi., 
1.  130),  and  Herrick  in  his  "  Sorrows  Succeed," — 

When  one  is  past,  another  care  we  have  : 
Thus  woe  succeeds  a  woe,  as  wave  a  wave. 

Young's  lines,  like  the  proverb,  have  a  general  application,  the  others  refer 
only  to  individual  instances. 

Misfortunes  of  others.  La  Rochefoucauld,  one  of  the  kindest  and  most 
unselfish  of  men,  was  the  author  of  the  saying,  "In  the  adversity  of  our  best 
friends  we  always  find  something  that  does  not  displease  us"  ("Dans  I'adver- 
site  de  nos  meilleurs  amis  nous  trouvons  toujour^  quelque  chose  qui  ne 
nous  deplait  pas").  Swift  quotes  this  maxim  at  the  head  of  his  "  Verses  on 
his  Own  Death,"  and  thus  comments  upon  it : 

This  maxim  more  than  all  the  rest 

Is  thought  too  base  for  human  breast  : 

"  In  all  distresses  of  our  friends 

We  first  consult  our  private  ends ; 

While  nature,  kindly  bent  to  ease  us. 

Points  out  some  circumstance  to  please  us." 

And  he  goes  on  to  defend  the  truth  of  the  maxim  by  pointing  out  that  as 
the  value  we  set  on  our  powers,  gifts,  good  luck  of  all  kinds,  is  a  rela- 
tive value,  dependent  in  a  great  measure  upon  comparison  with  the  blessings 
which  are  possessed  by  others,  it  follows  that  the  value  of  our  own  powers 
and  gifts  is  enhanced  in  our  own  estimation  by  every  misfortune  that  happens 
to  another.  Chesterfield,  in  his  one  hundrecl  and  twenty-ninth  letter,  goes 
further  :  "  They  who  know  the  deception  and  wickedness  of  the  human  heart 
will  not  be  either  romantic  or  blind  enough  to  deny  what  Rochefoucauld  and 
Swift  have  affirmed  as  a  general  truth."  Burke  borrowed  the  idea  in  this 
form  :  "  I  am  convinced  that  we  have  a  degree  of  delight,  and  that  no  small 
2F  vv  61 


722  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

one,  in  the  real  misfortunes  and  pains  of  others."  La  Rochefoucauld  himself 
gave  the  same  idea  less  brutally  in  another  maxim  :  "  We  have  all  strength 
enough  to  bear  the  misfortunes  of  others."  Swift  has  appropriated  this  with- 
out acknowledgment  :  "  I  never  knew  a  man  who  could  not  bear  the  misfor- 
tunes of  another  like  a  Christian"  (Thoughts  on  Various  Subjects).  Years 
afterwards,  Benjamin  Franklin,  in  a  letter  to  Alexander  Smith,  November, 
1789,  repeated  the  same  idea  :  "  Every  man  has  patience  enough  to  bear  calmly 
and  coolly  the  injuries  done  to  other  people."  But  long  before  any  of  these 
Shakespeare  had  said, — 

One  fire  bums  out  another's  burning, 

One  pain  is  lessened  by  another's  anguish, 

Rotneo  and  Juliet,  Act  i.,  Sc.  2; 

and  in  "  Much  Ado  About  Nothing"  he  makes  Leonato  say,— 

Men 
Can  counsel  and  speak  comfort  to  that  grief 
Which  they  themselves  not  feel ;  but,  tasting  it. 
Their  counsel  turns  to  passion,  which  before 
Would  give  preceptial  medicine  to  Rage, 
Fetter  strong  Madness  in  a  silken  thread. 
Charm  Ache  with  air,  and  Agony  with  words. 
No,  no  ;  'tis  all  men's  office  to  speak  patience 
To  those  that  wring  under  the  load  of  sorrow. 
But  no  man's  virtue  nor  sufficiency 
To  be  so  moral  when  he  shall  endure 
The  like  himself. 

Act  v.,  Sc.  I ; 

and  Montaigne,  "In  the  midst  of  compassion  we  feel  within  us  I  know  not 
what  bitter-sweet  point  of  pleasure  in  seeing  others  suffer ;  children  feel  it. 

Suave  mari  magno,  turhantibus  a:quora  ventis, 
E  terra  magnum  alterius  spectare  laborem." 

Essays:   Of  Profit  and  Honesty. 

The  lines  quoted  by  Montaigne  will  be  recognized  as  the  famous  "  Suave 
mari  magno"  of  Lucretius  (De  Rerum  Naitira,  ii.  i)  : 

How  sweet  to  stand,  when  tempests  tear  the  main. 
On  the  firm  cliff  and  mark  the  seaman's  toil  ! 
Not  that  another's  danger  soothes  the  soul. 
But  from  such  toil  how  sweet  to  feel  secure  t_ 
How  sweet,  at  distance  from  the  strife,  to  view 
Contending  hosts,  and  hear  the  clash  of  war! 

The  passage  has  been  imitated  by  Dryden,  Beattie,  and  Akenside  ;  but  the 
figure  is  perhaps  nowhere  better  preserved  than  in  the  following  lines  from 
an  old  song  quoted  by  Ben  Jonson  in  "  Every  Man  Out  of  his  Humor  :" 

I  wander  not  to  seek  for  more : 

In  greatest  storm  I  sit  on  shore, 

And  laugh  at  those  that  toil  in  vain 

To  get  what  must  be  lost  again. 

Lucretius  himself  is  indebted  for  the  idea  to  Isidorus,  who  says,  "  Nothing 
is  more  pleasant  than  to  sit  at  ease  in  the  harbor  and  behold  the  shipwreck 
of  others." 

Miss.  A  miss  is  as  good  as  a  mile,  a  proverb  which  in  its  present 
form  is  nonsense,  and  is  therefore  conjectured  to  have  been  originally  "  An  inch 
of  a  miss  is  as  good  as  a  mile,"  corresponding  to  the  German  "  Almost  never 
killed  a  fly"  ("  Beinahe  bringt  keine  Miicke  um"),  the  Danish  "  Ail-but  saved 
many  a  man"  ("  Noer  hielper  mangen  Mand")  and  "Almost  kills  no  man" 
("  Ncerved  slaaer  ingen  Mand  ihiel"),  and,  indeed,  to  the  old  English  "  Almost 
was  never  hanged."     But  it  is  not  impossible  that  the  proverb  originally 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  7^3 

stood  "  Amis  is  as  good  as  Amile,"  these  being  the  names  of  two  legendary 
soldiers  of  Charlemagne,  titular  heroes  of  a  famous  chanson  de geste,  who  were 
as  like  each  other  as  the  two  Dromios  of  Shakespeare,  who  took  up  each 
other's  quarrels,  and  who  after  being  adopted  into  the  traditions  of  the 
Church  as  martyrs  might  be  invoked  indifferently. 

Missouri  Compromise.  At  the  time  when  Missouri  was  seeking  admis- 
sion into  the  Union  (1818-21)  the  country  was  in  the  first  throes  of  the  anti- 
slavery  agitation,  when  abolition  was  not  yet  looked  forward  to  as  a  possibility 
by  any  save  a  few  so-called  fanatics.  All  the  energy  of  the  Northern  or  Free 
States  was  directed  merely  to  hindering  the  further  extension  of  the  slave 
territory,  as  that  of  the  Southern  to  promoting  it.  In  Missouri  the  pro-slavery 
party  was  the  stronger,  and,  after  a  long  and  bitter  struggle,  the  conflicting 
parties  effected  a  compromise.  An  act  of  Congress  was  passed  February  28, 
1821,  admitting  Missouri  as  a  slave-holding  State,  but  laying  down  the  prin- 
ciple in  prospective  that  slavery  should  thenceforth  be  prohibited  in  any 
State  lying  north  of  36°  30',  the  northern  boundary  of  Missouri.  This 
parallel,  as  the  boundary-line  between  the  Free  and  the  Slave  States,  in  the 
ensuing  conflict  over  slavery  came  to  be  popularly  called  Mason  and  Dixon's 
line  (q.  v.),— a.  name  which  really  belongs  to  another  line  of  division. 

Mistake.  And  no  mistake!  a  common  colloquialism  to  express  cer- 
tainty, lugged  in  at  the  end  of  any  sUtement  or  assertion.  It  is  usually 
classed  as  an  Americanism,  but  there  is  reason  to  believe  that  it  originated  in 
England  from  the  Duke  of  Wellington's  phrase  in  a  letter  to  Mr.  Huskisson, 
"  There  is  no  mistake,  there  has  been  no  mistake,  and  there  shall  be  no  mis- 
take."— Fraser  :    Words  on  Wellington,  \).  122. 

An  undoubted  American  equivalent  is  "And  don't  you  forget  it !"  a  mean- 
ingless vulgarism  that  is  luckily  dying  out,  as  well  as  its  congeners  "  Sure  !" 
and  "  Why,  certainly  !" 

Mistakes  of  Authors.  Dear  young-lady  reader,  have  you  ever  wept 
over  the  end  of  "  The  Mill  on  the  Floss,"  over  the  sad  fate  of  Maggie  Tulliver, 
drowned  with  her  brother  in  the  angry  waters  of  the  Floss  ?  If  you  have 
you  may  dry  your  eyes.  Maggie  Tulliver  is  probably  not  dead.  Certainly 
she  did  not  die  in  the  manner  recorded  by  her  historian.  You  will  remember 
that  her  frail  boat  is  said  to  have  been  overwhelmed  by  a  huge  floating  mass 
of  debris  which  is  supposed  to  be  drifting  at  a  quicker  rate  than  the  lighter 
craft  Now,  this  is  a  scientific  impossibility.  You  have  made  yourself  mis- 
erable for  nothing.  The  debris  never  caught  up  with  the  boat.  Maggie  and 
her  brother  reached  shore  unharmed,  and  may  have  lived  happily  ever  after. 

Doubtless  you  have  shuddered  over  the  death  of  that  loathsome  wretch  in 
"  Bleak  House"  who  suddenly  turned  into  an  animated  bonfire  and  expired 
in  the  agonies  of  spontaneous  combustion.  Your  shudders  were  uncalled 
for.  Dickens  made  a  hard  fight  to  prove  a  precedent  in  real  life  for  his  hor- 
rible conception.  But  the  doctors  and  the  scientists  were  all  against  him. 
The  same  authorities  also  are  pretty  well  agreed  that  that  favorite  complaint 
of  the  anaemic  heroine,  known  to  novelists  and  novel-readers  as  a  broken 
heart,  is  never  the  direct  occasion  of  death.  Grief  weakens  the  system  and 
leaves  it  open  to  attack  from  disease-germs  ;  or  it  hastens  the  development 
of  some  latent  bodily  affection.  Your  broken-hearted  heroine  may  have  died 
of  dysentery. 

Wilkie  Collins  employed  a  consulting  physician  whenever  his  characters 
fell  sick.  The  doctor  felt  the  patient's  pulse  and  examined  his  tongue,  meta- 
phorically speaking,  in  the  proof-sheets,  and  decided  not  only  what  medicines 
he  should  take,  but  what  symptoms  he  should  be  allowed  to  exhibit.    If  a 


724  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

case  of  typhoid  fever  proved  refractory  and  behaved  as  though  it  were  small- 
pox, the  proof-sheets  were  altered,  the  patient  was  admonished  of  his  error, 
and  he  was  made  to  understand  that  he  must  not  run  counter  to  nature  and 
to  medical  experience.  Yet  even  Wili<ie  Collins  was  not  always  correct  in 
diagnosing  his  patient's  case. 

But  of  all  things  novelists  and  dramatists,  like  other  uninstructed  people, 
should  beware  of  handling  poisons  without  proper  medical  advice.  The  way 
that  poisons  act  on  the  stage  and  in  romance  would  bewilder  the  trained  toxi- 
cologist.  A  few  examples  must  suffice.  Nat  Lee,  in  the  tragedy  of  "Alex- 
ander," makes  one  of  his  characters  administer  a  poison  to  the  conqueror,  of 
which  it  is  said  that 

Mixed  with  his  wine,  a  single  drop  gives  death, 
And  sends  him  howling  to  the  shades  below. 
So  far,  so  good.  There  is  no  exception  to  be  taken  to  this  statement. 
But  when  the  poison  is  actually  administered,  then  the  trouble  begins.  After 
swallowing  the  awful  mixture,  Alexander  goes  through  the  latter  part  of  the 
fourth  and  most  of  the  fifth  act,  kills  a  man,  makes  a  windy  speech,  raves  and 
blusters,  recovers  his  senses,  and,  after  a  fine  dying  address,  at  last  yields  up 
the  ghost.  There  is  not  a  poison  in  the  world  which  could  produce  such  an 
effect.  Philip  Massinger,  too,  in  "  The  Duke  of  Milan,"  betrays  his  ignorance. 
One  of  the  characters  scatters  a  poisonous  powder  over  a  flower.  This  is 
given  to  a  lady,  some  of  the  powder  falls  on  her  hand,  her  lover  salutes  the 
tip  of  her  fingers,  and  straightway  dies.  No  poison  known  to  science,  not 
even  pure  aconitine  itself,  could  produce  this  result. 

In  novels  a  handkerchief  steeped  in  an  anaesthetic  and  thrown  over  the  head 
of  the  interesting  hero  or  the  virtuous  heroine  immediately  sends  him  or  her 
into  a  trance.  But  in  real  life  chemists  assert  that  the  thing  is  an  impossibility, 
and  that  no  such  compound  has  ever  been  discovered.  Chloroform  and  the 
other  recognized  anaesthetics  require  at  least  three  distinct  inhalations  to 
produce  the  loss  of  sensation.  Perhaps  some  camorra  among  the  criminal 
classes  of  fiction  is  in  possession  of  a  trade  secret  as  yet  unknown  to  science, 
or  shall  we  rather  incline  to  the  supposition  that  the  immediate  loss  of  con- 
sciousness is  due  to  something  comparable  to  mesmeric  action  ?  The  villain 
of  fiction  is  always  an  extraordinary  hypnotist. 

If  medicine  be  a  stumbling-block  in  the  way  of  the  careless  novelist,  how 
much  more  so  the  law !  Law,  too,  has  such  manifold  attractions  for  the  un- 
wary, it  is  entwined  with  so  much  of  the  mystery,  crime,  romance,  and 
tragedy  of  the  world  !  That  women  novelists  should  err  when  they  step  on 
this  dangerous  ground  is  only  inevitable.  Mrs.  E.  D.  K  N.  Southworth 
furnishes  a  delightful  instance  in  "  The  Missing  Bride."  There  is  a  trial 
scene  in  that  masterly  work,  where  the  jury  are  drawn  by  "  idle  curiosity," 
and  not  by  the  sheriff,  but  "  arrive  unprejudiced,"  while  the  judge  reveals  a 
shameful  partiality  from  the  bench.  But  women  are  not  the  only  offenders. 
In  the  famous  court-scenes  in  "  Griffith  Gaunt,"  in  "  Very  Hard  Cash,"  and 
in  "Orley  Farm,"  Charles  Reade  and  Anthony  Trollope  have  shown  all 
a  layman's  unfamiliarity  with  the  laws  of  evidence.  And  both  Reade  and 
Trollope  had  the  less  excuse  for  their  lapses  in  the  fact  that  both  had  studied 
law,  and  both  had  been  called  to  the  bar.  To  be  sure,  they  had  allowed  their 
legal  knowledge  to  rust  by  disuse.  No  such  excuse  can  be  urged  for  Samuel 
Warren.  He  was  one  of  the  most  distinguished  barristers  of  his  time,  a 
Q.C.,  a  man  eminent  for  his  legal  attainments.  Yet  in  "Ten  Thousand  a 
Year"  he  makes  a  remarkable  slip.  At  the  very  crisis  of  the  plot,  at  the 
trial-scene  which  decides  the  fate  of  Tittlebat  Titmouse  and  all  the  leading 
characters,  a  deed  which  would  forever  have  disposed  of  Titmouse  is  set 
aside  by  the  judge.     And  why .?    Merely  because  it  was  discovered  that  an 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  725 

erasure  had  been  made  by  the  clerk  at  the  time  when  the  deed  was  engrossed. 
It  is  true  that  Blackstone  lays  it  down  as  a  rule  that  an  erasure  vitiates  a 
deed  unless  duly  acknowledged  at  the  time  of  signing.  But  Coke,  before 
Blackstone,  and  an  innumerable  array  of  authorities  since,  have  decided  that 
evidence  should  be  taken  as  to  whether  the  erasure  had  been  made  before  or 
after  signing,  and  that  if  it  was  proved  to  be  after,  the  deed  would  stand. 

We  have  heard  a  great  deal  about  the  science  of  George  Eliot ;  praises 
loud  and  long  have  been  chanted  over  the  extraordinary  mental  grasp  which 
realized  the  boast  of  Bacon  and  "took  all  knowledge  for  its  province."  But 
in  truth  George  Eliot's  learning  was  rather  wide  than  deep.  We  have  already 
pointed  out  a  notable  error  in  "  The  Mill  on  the  Floss."  But  outside  of  actual 
error  her  use  of  scientific  terminology  is  pedantic  and  affected,  and  in  a  less 
gifted  author  would  be  severely  criticised.  When  she  refers  to  "cervical 
vertebrae"  instead  of  heads,  to  the  "systole  and  diastole  in  all  human  in- 
quiry," and  again  to  "  the  systole  and  diastole  of  blissful  companionship," 
she  becomes  ridiculous  ;  and  when  she  talks  of  a  rent-collector  who  was 
"differentiated  by  the  force  of  circumstances  into  an  organist,"  she  comes 
very  near  to  talking  nonsense. 

Mr.  Richard  A.  Proctor  once  took  it  on  himself  to  expose  the  pretentious 
"science"  which  Charles  Reade  introduced,  for  the  greater  glorification  of  his 
hero,  in  "Foul  Play."  After  pointing  out  the  error  of  his  method  of  com- 
puting longitude,  and  remarking  that  it  would  have  been  equally  to  the  pur- 
pose to  have  calculated  how  many  cows'  tails  would  reach  to  the  moon,  he 
bewails  the  tendency  of  novelists  to  attempt  to  sketch  scientific  methods  with 
which  they  are  not  familiar.  No  discredit,  he  thinks,  can  attach  to  any  person, 
not  an  astronomer,  who  does  not  understand  the  astronomical  processes  for 
determining  latitude  and  longitude,  any  more  than  to  one  who,  not  being  a 
lawyer,  is  unfamiliar  with  the  rules  of  conveyancing.  But  when  an  attempt 
is  made  by  a  writer  of  fiction  to  give  an  exact  description  of  any  technical 
matter,  it  is  as  well  to  secure  correctness  by  submitting  the  description  to 
some  friend  acquainted  with  the  principles  of  the  subject.  For,  singularly 
enough,  people  pay  much  more  attention  to  these  descriptions  when  met  with 
in  novels  than  when  given  in  text-books  of  science.  They  thus  come  to  re- 
member thoroughly  well  precisely  what  they  ought  to  forget. 

Among  the  characteristics  of  the  moon  should  be  noted  its  tendency  to 
lead  authors  astray.  Rider  Haggard,  in  "  King  Solomon's  Mines,"  makes  an 
eclipse  of  the  moon  take  place  at  the  new  moon  instead  of  the  full, — an 
astronomic  impossibility.  Even  the  familiar  verses  in  the  "Burial  of  Sir 
John  Moore"  are  all  at  fault  ; 

We  buried  him  darkly  at  dead  of  night. 

The  sod  with  our  bayonets  turning. 
By  the  struggUng  moonbeams'  misty  light. 

And  our  lanterns  dimly  burning. 

The  Irish  Astronomer  Royal,  Sir  Robert  Ball,  is  responsible  for  destroying 
our  faith  in  Wolfe's  vivid  picture.  Having  nothing  better  to  do,  apparently, 
he  made  a  calculation  which  resulted  in  the  discovery  that  the  moon  could 
not  possibly  have  been  shining,  either  strongly  or  in  glimmering  fashion,  at 
the  time  of  the  famous  burial.  The  moon  had  then  been  long  below  the 
horizon.  But  it  takes  no  great  knowledge  of  science,  no  deep  calculation,  to 
notice  the  extraordinary  blunder  in  Coleridge's  "Ancient  Mariner."  At  the 
moment  of  the  terrific  apparition  of  the  phantom-ship,  we  read  how 

The  western  wave  was  all  aflame. 

The  day  was  well-nigh  done  ; 
Almost  upon  the  western  wave 

Rested  the  broad  bright  sun. 
61* 


726  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Then  come  the  awful  game  of  dice,  the  sunset,  and  the  instantaneous  tropi- 
cal night,  when 

Clomb  above  the  Eastern  bar 
The  homed  moon,  with  one  bright  star 
Within  the  nether  tip. 

Now,  if  the  moon  rose  in  the  east  and  gradually  clomb  the  sky,  she  must 
have  been  at  or  near  her  full, — opposite  the  sun.  She  could  not  be  a  horned 
moon,  nor  could  she  have  a  star  within  either  tip.  The  crescent  moon,  with 
her  horns,  appears  in  the  western  sky,  not  in  the  eastern,  and  is  steadily  set- 
ting and  getting  lower  in  the  sky  from  the  instant  of  its  appearance.  Such, 
at  least,  is  the  fact  with  nature's  moon.  But  the  moon  of  poetry  and  romance 
has  no  end  of  eccentricities  in  the  pages  of  fanciful  writers,  who  shift  it  around 
like  a  bit  of  stage  scenery. 

Dickens  tells  of  the  new  moon  appearing  in  the  east  in  the  early  evening, 
and  more  recently  Walter  Besant,  in  his  "Children  of  Gibeon,"  causes  a  new 
moon  to  rise  in  the  east  at  two  o'clock  in  the  morning. 

Oliver  Wendell  Holmes  laid  us  all  under  obligation  when  he  devised  his 
theory  of  the  idiotic  area.  Every  man,  says  the  Autocrat,  has  a  spot  in  the 
brain  on  which  an  idea  alighting  makes  no  impression.  He  uses  the  theory 
to  explain  the  otherwise  inexplicable  mistakes  which  people  make.  Authors 
find  this  idiotic  area  comes  frequently  into  use.  TroUope  might  have  pleaded 
this  excuse  when  he  made  Andy  Scott  "  come  whistling  up  the  street  with 
a  cigar  in  his  mouth."  So  might  Jules  Verne  when  at  the  close  of  his 
"  Round  the  World  in  Eighty  Days"  he  describes  his  circumnavigating  hero 
as  reaching  his  club,  triumphant  at  the  winning  of  his  bet,  just  as  all  the 
clocks  in  London,  "from  every  steeple,  pealed  forth  ten  minutes  to  ten." 
Surely  Verne  knew  that  the  London  clocks  had  no  such  curious  idiosyncrasy. 

It  has  been  said  that  everything  in  "Robinson  Crusoe"  might  be  demon- 
strated mathematically, — that  the  writer,  as  with  the  instincts  of  a  Scott  or 
a  Shakespeare,  had  got  inside  the  shipwrecked  mariner's  mind.  Yet  even 
Defoe  had  his  idiotic  area.  How,  for  example,  did  Crusoe  manage  to  stuff 
his  pockets  with  biscuits,  when  he  had  taken  off  all  his  clothes  before  swim- 
ming to  the  wreck  ?  And  when  the  clothes  he  had  taken  off  were  washed 
away  by  the  tide,  why  did  he  not  remember  that  he  had  all  the  ship's  stores 
to  choose  from  ?  How  could  he  have  seen  the  goat's  eyes  in  the  cave,  when 
it  was  pitch  dark  ?  How  could  the  Spaniards  have  given  Friday's  father  an 
agreement  in  writing,  when  they  had  neither  paper  nor  ink  ?  And,  finally, 
how  could  Friday  be  so  intimately  acquainted  with  the  habits  of  the  bear, 
when  that  animal  is  not  a  denizen  of  the  West  Indian  islands.' 

The  imitators  of  "  Robinson  Crusoe"  were  even  worse.  Those  readers 
who  can  cast  back  their  minds  to  the  days  when  they  read  "The  Swiss 
Family  Robinson"  will  recollect  the  extraordinary  fecundity  and  native  wealth 
of  the  island  in  which  those  lucky  waifs  resided.  Not  a  fruit  but  flourished, 
not  an  edible  bird  or  beast  but  inhabited  that  astounding  latitude,  and  what 
was  even  more  wonderful  than  the  abundance  of  incongruous  and  incompati- 
ble forms  of  natural  wealth  was  the  success  of  every  enterprise  which  any 
member  of  the  family  undertook. 

Even  the  marvellous  memory  of  Macaulay  had  its  idiotic  area.  In  his 
essay  on  Warren  Hastings,  after  taking  Mr.  Gleig  to  task  for  the  slovenly 
nature  of  his  biography,  he  acknowledged  that  "more  eminent  men  than  Mr. 
Gleig  have  written  nearly  as  ill  as  he  when  they  have  stooped  to  similar 
drudgery.  It  would  be  unjust  to  estimate  Goldsmith  by  'The  Vicar  of 
Wakefield,'  or  Scott  by  the  '  Life  of  Napoleon.'" 

When  the  Review  came  out  and  Macaulay  saw  what  he  had  done,  he  was 
horror-struck.     He  had  written  "  The  Vicar  of  Wakefield"  instead  of  "  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  727 

History  of  Greece."  There  was  no  help  for  it  Immediate  correction  \yas 
impossible.  For  three  months  he  had  to  pose  before  the  world  as  a  critic 
who  thought  "  The  Vicar  of  Wakefield"  a  bad  book,— a  hasty  bit  of  drudgery. 
But  once  at  least  when  in  the  full  possession  of  his  faculties  the  "  cock- 
sure Macaulay"  stumbled  into  an  unfortunate  pitfall.  Nor  would  he  ever 
acknowledge  that  he  was  in  error,  though  the  error  was  pointed  out  at  once. 
This  was  in  his  essay  on  Croker's  edition  of  Boswell.  Croker  had  made 
himself  obnoxious  to  Macaulay  in  the  House  of  Commons.  "  See  whether  I 
do  not  dust  that  varlet's  jacket  for  him  in  the  next  number  of  the  Blue  and 
Yellow,"  wrote  Macaulay  to  his  sister  Hannah.  He  kept  his  word.  The 
next  Edinburgh  Review  contained  the  now  famous  onslaught.  It  showed  an 
unuleasant  animus.  It  was  bitter  and  envenomed,  but  it  exposed  Croker's 
inaccuracies  with  ruthless  skill,  it  dusted  his  jacket  so  that  the  skin  beneath 
must  have  been  excoriated.  Only  once  did  Jupiter  nod.  Croker  had  con- 
fessed himself  puzzled  by  the  following  couplet  attributed  to  Sir  William 
Jones : 

Six  hours  to  law,  to  soothing  slumber  seven, 

Ten  to  the  world  allot,  and  all  to  heaven. 

"Sir  William,"  he  said,  "has  shortened  his  day  to  twenty-three  hours,  and 
the  general  advice  of  '  all  to  heaven'  destroys  the  peculiar  appropriation  of  a 
certain  period  to  religious  exercise."  Macaulay  thereupon  declared  that  he 
did  not  think  it  was  in  human  dulness  to  miss  the  meaning  of  these  lines. 
Sir  William  distributes  twenty-three  hours  among  various  employments. 
One  hour  is  thus  left  for  devotion.  The  whole  point  of  the  couplet  consists 
in  the  unexpected  substitution  of  "  all"  for  "  one."  "  The  conceit  is  wretched 
enough,"  concludes  Macaulay,  with  a  parting  whack,  "  but  it  is  perfectly  in- 
telligible, and  never,  we  will  venture  to  say,  perplexed  man,  woman,  or  child 
before."  c-    »> 

But  it  turned  out  that  Sir  William  Jones  wrote  "  Seven"  instead  of  "  Six. 
So  all  this  good  invective  came  to  naught.  Macaulay  was  undoubtedly  made 
aware  of  his  blunder.  It  was  exposed  and  commented  on  by  Julius  Hare  in 
The  Phtlo!ogical  Journal.  But  when  he  came  to  republish  his  essays  in  book 
form  Macaulay  never  took  any  notice  of  the  correction.  The  passage  was 
neither  cancelled  nor  altered.  There  it  stands  to-day,  a  monument  to  the 
nonsense  which  resentment  will  lead  an  able  man  to  write. 

Was  not  Howells's  idiotic  area  in  the  ascendant  when  he  wrote  in  "  Silas 
Lapham"  of  "  rank  and  file"  as  though  rank  and  file  were  synonymous  with 
officers  and  men  instead  of  being  a  military  term  for  men  alone,  and  when  he 
spoke  of  a  gentleman  whose  "  linen  was  purple  and  fine,"  whereas  the  Bibli- 
cal phrase  "purple  and  fine  linen"  means  purple  robes  and  fine  linen  ?  And 
surely  Rider  Haggard  had  no  other  excuse  when  in  "  Mr.  Meeson's  Will" 
he  made  the  statement  that  publishers  were  subject,  like  other  men,  to  all 
the  provisions  and  conditions  of  the  seventh  commandment.  To  be  sure, 
if  Haggard  were  a  Catholic  he  might  plead  further  that  according  to  the 
arrangement  of  Latin  theology  the  commandment  "  Thou  shalt  not  steal"  is 
the  seventh  commandment.  But  even  then  this  should  have  been  explained 
to  Anglo-Saxon  readers  in  a  foot-note. 

It  seems  inevitable  that  Walter  Scott  should  sometimes  err.  When  an 
author  is  throwing  off  brilliant  romances  at  fever-heat,  in  electric  sympathy 
with  a  teeming  brain  and  a  tingling  pulse,-  he  cannot  be  expected  to  be  over- 
careful.  No  one  knew  better  than  he — a  famous  horseman  himself— the 
limits  of  endurance  in  a  horse.  He  makes  Wilfred  of  Ivanhoe  advise  his 
enemy  the  Templar  to  take  a  fresh  steed  for  the  fierce  tilt  he  was  to  run  with 
him.  Wilfred  himself  had  no  chargers  of  remount;  he  had  but  one  steed, 
the  gift  of  Isaac  of  York,  and  was  compelled  to  run  five  courses  in  rapid 


728  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

succession  on  the  unfortunate  animal.  Horse  and  man  were  both  sheathed 
in  armor.  The  day  was  hot  and  sultry.  No  steed  that  ever  was  Toaled 
could  have  stood  the  ordeal.  But  this  may  be  hypercriticism.  Is  it  hyper- 
criticism,  also,  to  point  out  that  in  the  same  novel  a  full  century  is  dropped 
in  such  sort  that  one  of  Richard  l.'s  knights  holds  converse  with  a  con- 
temporary of  the  Conqueror,  who  was  Richard's  great-great-grandfather  }  or 
that  the  Fair  Maid  of  Perth  goes  to  mass  in  the  afternoon,  whereas  mass 
cannot  be  celebrated  save  in  the  earlier  part  of  the  day  ? 

And  Scott's  brilliant  imitator,  the  French  improvisator,  who  was  so  much 
more  headlong  and  slapdash  in  his  methods, — Alexander  the  Great,  in  short, 
— can  we  wonder  that  he  too  was  not  infallible  .''  that  he  fell  into  strange 
errors,  blunders,  and  inconsistencies  ? 

In  the  opening  of  his  novel  of  *'  Monte-Cristo,"  when  the  good  ship 
Pharaon  arrives  at  the  port  of  Marseilles,  Dantes  cries  out,  "  All  ready  to 
drop  anchor!"  Straightway  "all  hands  obeyed.  At  the  same  moment  the 
eight  or  ten  men  who  composed  the  crew  sprang  some  to  the  main-sheets, 
others  to  the  braces,  others  to  the  halliards,  others  to  the  jib-ropes,  and 
others  to  the  topsail-brails."  The  eight  or  ten  men  would  have  found  it  im- 
possible to  distribute  themselves  in  this  fashion,  even  if  they  had  not  been 
simultaneously  engaged  in  weighing  anchor. 

But  "  Monte-Cristo"  is  a  tissue  of  inconsistencies.  The  fortune  which  falls 
in  the  way  of  the  hero  has  all  the  astounding  qualities  of  Fortunatus's  cap. 
It  is  big  enough,  to  be  sure,  in  the  first  place.  Four  million  dollars  was  an 
impossible  fortune  for  a  cardinal  of  the  sixteenth  century  to  have  accumulated. 
But  to  Monte-Cristo  four  million  dollars  is  a  mere  bagatelle.  He  scatters  it 
with  both  hands.  He  hollows  emeralds  of  priceless  value  to  use  them  as 
pill-boxes.  He  gives  away  horses  with  rosettes  of  magnificent  diamonds 
pinned  to  their  heads.  His  steward  has  carte  blanche  in  regard  to  expendi- 
tures ;  he  must  be  ready  at  a  moment's  notice  to  supply  the  costly  caprices  of 
his  patron,  and  he  plunders  that  patron  with  equal  sang-froid.  Monte-Cristo 
further  allows  himself  to  be  preyed  upon  by  brigands  and  smugglers,  and  in- 
solvents of  all  classes.  Yet  when  he  talks  of  settling  up  his  affairs  prior  to 
being  shot  by  Morcerf,  he  finds  that  after  all  these  inroads  his  original  fortune 
of  four  millions  is — what  does  the  reader  suppose.'  A  million?  a  half  mil- 
lion .'  Nay,  by  some  extraordinary  process  it  has  not  diminished  a  sou  :  it 
has  even  increased  ;  it  has  more  than  duplicated  itself:  it  is  now  a  cool  ten 
million  !  In  the  paradoxical  lexicon  of  Monte-Cristo,  prodigality  is  another 
name  for  thrift. 

Charles  Lever's  geography  is  sadly  at  fault.  In  "Charles  O'Malley"  he 
makes  Andalusia  a  province  of  Portugal,  and  speaks  of  Don  Emanuel's 
heiress  as  possessing  an  estate  in  Valencia,  forgetting  that  Valencia  lies 
on  the  opposite  shore  of  Spain.  But  this  is  nothing  to  Victor  Hugo,  who 
airs  his  topographical  knowledge  by  translating  "the  Firth  of  Forth"  as  "  Le 
Premier  des  Quatres," — "the  First  of  the  Four."  And  it  is  nothing  to  the 
various  English  authors  who  have  dealt  with  American  subjects.  In  the 
latter  regard  the  Britisher  began  early  to  claim  the  human  privilege  of  erring. 
As  far  back  as  1729  Dean  Swift  talks  of  Pennsylvania,  on  no  less  an  authority 
than  William  Penn,  as  a  spot  that  "wanted  the  shelter  of  mountains,  which 
left  it  open  to  the  northern  winds  from  Hudson  Bay  and  the  frozen  sea,  which 
destroyed  all  plantations  of  trees,  and  were  even  pernicious  to  all  common 
vegetables."  In  "  Hand  and  Glove"  Amelia  B.  Edwards  compares  her  hero 
to  "an  overseer  on  a  Massachusetts  cotton-plantation."  Even  Thackeray, 
who  knew  America  and  loved  it,  and  who  loved  Virginia  above  all,  shows  in 
his  "  Virginians"  that  he  is  but  superficially  acquainted  with  the  geography 
and  conditions  of  his  favorite  State.     Though  it  is  just  barely  possible  that  a 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  729 

grant  might  have  been  made  to  the  Esmonds  of  a  tract  extending  from  the 
Potomac  to  the  James  River,  it  is  quite  absurd  to  imagine  that  any  one  estate 
approaching  this  in  size  was  ever  cultivated  from  one  centre.  Yet  Madame 
Warrington  is  described  as  shipping  tobacco  from  both  rivers.  There  are 
other  inconsistencies, — notably  the  contiguity  of  Castlewood  to  Mount  Vernon 
and  Williamsburg,  which  are  at  least  one  hundred  miles  apart. 

Miss  Helen  Mathers  is  fond  of  lugging  into  her  novels  the  ill-directed 
results  of  her  reading,  and  in  the  effort  to  appear  learned  she  is  continually 
making  the  saddest  mistakes.  Two  examples  from  "Cherry  Ripe"  must  suf- 
fice. She  refers  to  Henry  VHI.  and  his  six  wives  "all  waiting  to  have  their 
heads  cut  off;"  and  to  show  that  she  really  believes  they  all  lost  their  heads, 
she  asks,  "Did  these  murdered  wives  come  stepping  softly  to  his  side  when 
he  lay  a-dying  V  She  makes  her  hero  speak  of  Miss  Porter,  and  when  this 
recondite  allusion  puzzles  the  heroine,  the  hero  puzzles  the  reader  still  more 
completely  by  declaring  that  Dr.  Johnson,  "apropos  of  his  marriage  with  that 
lady,"  is  recorded  to  have  said,  "  Sir,  it  was  a  love-match  on  both  sides."  A 
far  worse  offender  is  Ouida,  who  can  never  restrain  the  exuberant  expression 
of  her  learning.  She  is  the  Malaprop  of  the  classics,  the  Partington  of 
belles-lettres,  history,  and  statistics.  She  plays  sad  havoc  with  the  names 
and  doings  of  the  old  heathen  gods.  She  talks  of  "the  glory  that  was 
Athens',  and  the  grandeur  that  was  Rome's."  She  dowers  her  heroes  and 
her  heroines  with  impossible  perfections,  and  places  them  in  impossible  sur- 
roundings. Wanda  lives  in  a  castle  in  an  almost  inaccessible  Alpine  height, 
where  foliage  would  well-nigh  perish,  yet  the  magic  of  Ouida  makes  the  desert 
to  blossom  as  the  rose,  while  the  steinbok,  an  animal  now  extinct  in  the  Tyrol, 
gambols  around  it.  And  is  it  not  Wanda's  lover  who  lives  in  an  equally 
extraordinary  chateau  whose  library  contains  a  million  volumes?  An  un- 
imaginative statistician  once  took  the  pains  to  show  that  a  million  volumes 
could  not  be  shelved  in  any  less  space  than  a  Colosseum. 

In  one  of  his  "  Roundabout  Papers"  Thackeray  acknowledges  his  manifold 
shortcomings,  blunders,  and  slips  of  memory  :  "  As  sure  as  I  read  a  page  of 
my  own  composition,  I  find  a  fault  or  two,  half  a  dozen.  Jones  is  called 
Brown.  Brown  who  is  dead  is  brought  to  life.  Aghast,  and  months  after 
the  number  was  printed,  I  saw  that  I  had  called  Philip  Firmin,  Clive  New- 
come.  iMow,  Clive  Newcome  is  the  hero  of  another  story  by  the  reader's  most 
obedient  servant.  The  two  men  are  as  different  in  my  mind's  eye — as  Lord 
Palmerston  and  Mr.  Disraeli,  let  us  say."  Elsewhere  he  had  to  confess  that 
he  had  resuscitated  Lady  Kew  after  having  laid  the  unquiet  old  dowager  in 
her  coffin.  Newcome,  senior,  is  colonel  and  major  at  one  and  the  same  time ; 
Jack  Belsize  becomes  Charles  on  another  -page  ;  and  Mrs.  Raymond  Gray,  in- 
troduced as  Emily,  is  suddenly  rechristened  Fanny.  A  good  deal  of  confu- 
sion is  introduced  into  "  The  Newcomes"  by  a  want  of  agreement  between 
author  and  artist.  While  Thackeray  jests  about  Clive's  beautiful  moustache 
and  whiskers,  Richard  Doyle  persists  to  the  end  in  representing  that  young 
man  as  entirely  destitute  of  capillary  attractions. 

But,  having  owned  his  shortcomings,  Mr.  Roundabout  makes  a  touching 
plea  for  meicy.  As  he  looks  on  the  pages  written  last  month  or  ten  years 
ago  he  tells  us  that  he  remembers  the  day  and  its  events  ;  "  the  child  ill, 
mayhap,  in  the  adjoining  room,  and  the  doubts  and  fears  which  racked  the 
brain  as  it  still  pursued  its  work.  It  is  not  the  words  I  see,  but  that  past 
day  ;  that  bygone  page  of  life's  history  ;  that  tragedy,  comedy,  it  may  be, 
which  our  little  home  company  was  enacting  ;  that  merrymaking  which  we 
shared  ;  that  funeral  which  we  followed  ;  that  bitter,  bitter  grief  which  we 
buried."  And,  such  being  the  state  of  his  mind,  he  prays  the  gentle  reader  to 
deal  kindly  with  him. 


73©  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

After  such  a  plea  it  seems  almost  brutal  to  call  attention  to  a  nice  little 
anachronism  in  "The  Newcomes."  Clive,  in  a  letter  dated  183-  asks, 
"Why  have  we  no  picture  of  the  sovereign  and  her  august  consort  from 
Smee's  brush  ?"  The  answer  is  easy  enough  :  because  there  was  no  Prince 
Consort  until  1840. 

But  if  we  are  to  chronicle  all  the  anachronisms  in  imaginative  literature  we 
shall  never  get  through.  The  very  head  and  front  of  all  offenders  was  Shake- 
speare himself  He  speaks  of  cannon  in  the  reign  of  John,  whereas  cannon 
were  unknown  until  a  century  and  a  half  later  ;  of  printing  in  the  time  of 
Henry  H.  ;  of  clocks — and  striking  clocks  at  that— in  the  time  of  Julms 
Cffisar  ;  he' makes  Hector  quote  Aristotle,  and  Coriolanus  refer  to  Cato  and 
Alexander;  he  introduces  a  billiard-table  into  Cleopatra's  palace;  he  dowers 
Bohemia  with  a  sea-coast,  makes  Delphos  an  island,  and  holds  Tunis  and 
Naples  to  be  at  an  immeasurable  distance  from  each  other.  Nor  were  his 
brother  dramatists — his  contemporaries  and  his  followers— a  whit  more  care- 
ful. Nat  Lee  talks  about  cards  in  his  tragedy  of  "  Hannibal ;"  Otway  makes 
Spartan  notables  carouse  and  drink  deep;  D'Urfey's  ancient  Britons  are 
familiar  with  Puritans  and  packet-boats  ;  Rymer  makes  his  Saxon  herome 
pull  off  her  patches  when  her  lover  desires  her  to  lay  aside  her  ornaments ; 
Schiller,  in  his  "  Piccolomini,"  speaks  of  lightning-conductors. 

When  Colman  the  younger  read  his  drama  of  "  Inkle  and  Yarico"  to  Dr. 
Moseley,  the  latter  exclaimed, — 

"  Stuff  and  nonsense  !     It  won't  do." 

"  Why  ?"  cried  the  alarmed  dramatist. 

"  Why,  you  say  in  the  finale, — 

'  Come,  let  us  dance  and  sing, 
While  all  Barbadoes'  bells  shall  ring !' 

It  won't  do,  sir ;  there's  but  one  bell  in  the  island." 

Nevertheless  the  play  did  do :  and  even  if  this  terrible  mistake  had  not 
been  pointed  out,  it  would  have  done  all  the  same.  Let  us  not  be  Dr.  Mose- 
leys.  We  may  amuse  an  idle  hour  by  pointing  out  the  discrepancies  in  this  or 
that  great  author,  but  we  need  not  imagine  that  his  greatness  suffers  by  any 
such  minute  specks  and  flaws. 

Mistletoe.  That  little  parasite  with  the  curious  white  berry,  the  mistletoe, 
has  long  been  a  puzzle  and  a  mystery  to  botanists,  naturalists,  and  anti- 
quaries. But  we  will  leave  the  botanists  and  naturalists  to  fight  out  their 
battles  among  themselves,  and  merely  glance  at  what  the  antiquaries  have  to 
say  concerning  the  origin  of  the  pleasant  and  of  course  popular  custom  of 
kissing  a  maid  under  the  mistletoe. 

It  will  surprise  no  one  to  be  told  that  of  old  the  mistletoe  was  sacred  to 
love.  The  Scandinavians  dedicated  it  to  Freya,  their  goddess  of  beauty  and 
love.  Freya  united  in  herself  the  attributes  of  Venus  and  of  Proserpine, 
who  was  the  queen  of  the  dead,  and  it  is  curious  how  the  mistletoe  has  been 
inextricably  mixed  up  with  both  love  and  death,  the  story  of  Freya  and 
Balder,  her  son,  furnishing  a  striking  illustration.  Balder,  so  the  legend 
goes,  dreamed  a  dream  presaging  danger  to  his  life,  and  this  dream  was  a 
cause  of  much  anxiety  to  his  mother,  who,  to  make  sure  of  fate,  exacted  a 
promise  from  Earth,  Air,  Fire,  and  Water,  and  all  things  springing  from 
them,  that  they  would  do  no  harm  to  her  son.  This  done,  the  Scandinavian 
gods  met  in  their  hall,  and,  placing  Balder  in  their  midst,  amused  themselves 
by  casting  stones,  darts,  lances,  and  swords  at  him  as  he  stood.  True  to  their 
oaths,  they  fell  from  him,  leaving  him  unscathed.  Loki,  the  spirit  of  evil, 
filled  with  wonder  and  envy  at  the  sight,  resolved  to  learn  the  secret  of 
Balder's  invulnerability.     Transforming  himself  into  an  old  woman,  he  went 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  73' 

to  Freya,  told  her  how  her  son  bore  unhurt  the  assaults  of  all  the  deities,  and 
soon  wormed  himself  into  her  confidence  and  won  the  secret  of  Balder's  in- 
vulnerability. For  to  Loki's  inquiry  if  all  things  had  made  the  promise  not 
to  nijure  Balder  the  goddess  replied  that  all  things  had  taken  the  oath  save 
the  mistletoe,  which  was  too  feeble  to  hurt,  if  it  would.  Loki  then  left  Freya, 
resumed  his  own  shape,  and,  ])lucking  up  the  mistletoe  by  its  roots,  fashioned 
it  into  an  arrow  as  he  went.  On  rejoining  the  assembly  he  found  the  gods 
still  at  their  sports,  but,  looking  around,  spied  blind  Hoder  (the  god  of  fate) 
standing  silently  apart  from  an  amusement  he  could  not  share.  Loki  en- 
treated him  to  do  honor  to  Freya's  offspring,  placed  the  arrow  in  his  hand, 
and  guided  his  arm.  It  flew  with  fatal  accuracy,  and  stretched  the  unhappy 
Balder  dead  before  the  startled  gods.  All  nature  mourned  so  bitterly  the 
death  of  the  sun-god  that  Hela  agreed  to  restore  him  if  it  could  be  shown 
that  everything  lamented.  Then  every  creature  wept,  and  the  trees  even 
dropped  their  branches  in  token  of  their  grief.  Loki  alone  stood  tearless. 
In  holy  rage  the  assembled  gods  rushed  on  the  cause  of  the  world's  sorrow, 
bore  him  to  the  bottomless  pit,  and  chained  him  fast.  At  this  unexpected 
result  of  his  evil  work,  Loki  shed  tears  copiously,  and,  Hela's  condition  being 
thus  fulfilled.  Balder  returned  to  life. 

Professor  Skeat  explains  why  the  mistletoe  should  be  of  all  created  things 
the  slayer  of  the  sun-god  (Balder)  by  saying  that  the  myth  represents  the 
tragedy  of  the  solar  year,  the  sun  overwhelmed  by  the  gloom  of  mid-winter. 
In  Anglo-Saxon  mist  means  "  gloom,"  and  mistel  is  used  for  the  plant  "  mis- 
tletoe." 

In  later  stories  the  mistletoe  still  continues  to  be  associated  with  love  and 
death.  Take,  for  instance,  the  famous  ballad  of  "  The  Mistletoe  Bough,"  by 
Thomas  Haynes  Bayly,  which  has  long  enjoyed  a  wide  popularity.  Here  is 
sufficient  of  it  to  give  the  story  : 

The  mistletoe  hung  in  the  castle  hall. 
The  holly-branch  shone  on  the  old  oak  wall, 
And  the  baron's  retainers  were  blithe  and  gay, 
And  keeping  their  Christmas  holiday. 
The  baron  beheld  with  a  father's  pride 
His  beautiful  child,  young  Lovell's  bride, 
While  she  with  her  bright  eyes  seemed  to  be 
The  star  of  the  goodly  company. 

Oh,  the  mistletoe  bough  ! 

Oh,  the  mistletoe  bough  ! 

"  I'm  weary  of  dancing  now,"  she  cried  ; 

"  Here  tarry  a  moment,— I'll  hide,  I'll  hide; 

And,  Lovell,  be  sure  thou  art  first  to  trace 

The  clue  to  my  secret  lurking-place." 

Away  she  ran,  and  her  friends  began 

Each  tower  to  search,  and  each  nook  to  scan  ; 

And  young  Lovell  cried,  "  Oh,  where  dost  thou  hide? 

I'm  lonesome  without  thee,  my  own  dear  bride !" 

******** 
At  length  an  oak  chest  that  had  long  lain  hid 
Was  found  in  the  castle  :  they  raised  the  lid ; 
And  a  skeleton  form  lay  mouldering  there 
In  the  bridal  wreath  of  the  lady  fair ! 
Oh,  sad  was  her  fate  !  in  sportive  jest 
She  hid  from  her  lord  in  the  old  oak  chest. 
It  closed  with  a  spring,  and  her  bridal  bloom 
Lay  withering  there  in  a  living  tomb. 

Oh,  the  mistletoe  bough  ! 

Oh,  the  mistletoe  bough  I 

This  story  is  widely  spread  and  has  numerous  locales.  Rogers  in  his 
"  Italy"  tells  the  same  tale,  and  calls  his  heroine  Ginevra.     In  Florence  in 


732  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

an  old  castello  there  is  shown  the  identical  chest  in  which  the  unhappy  lady 
is  supposed  to  have  secreted  herself.  In  England  many  old  houses  have 
similar  traditions  connected  with  them  ;  and,  as  the  old  oak  chest  or  coffer 
was  in  former  times  an  article  of  furniture  in  every  mansion,  and  as  from  its 
size  it  was  an  inviting  hiding-place,  it  may  have  been  the  cause  of  more  than 
one  tragedy.  Collet  in  his  "  Relics  of  Literature"  gives  the  story,  and  it  is 
also  to  be  found  in  the  "Causes  Celebres." 

But  revenons  h  nos  moiitons.  The  gathering  of  the  mistletoe  was  a  most 
important  ceremony  among  the  ancient  Druids.  Five  days  after  the  new 
moon  they  went  in  stately  procession  to  the  forest  and  raised  an  altar  of  grass 
beneath  the  finest  mistletoe-bearing  oak  they  could  find  :  the  arch-Druid  then 
ascended  the  oak  and  with  a  golden  knife  removed  the  sacred  parasite,  the 
inferior  priests  stood  beneath  and  caught  the  plant  upon  a  white  cloth,  for  if 
a  portion  of  it  but  touched  the  ground  (Loki's  empire)  it  was  an  omen  of 
misfortune  to  the  land.  The  mistletoe  was  distributed  among  the  people  on 
the  first  day  of  the  new  year.  As  it  was  supposed  to  possess  the  mystic 
virtue  of  giving  fertility  and  a  power  to  preserve  from  poison,  the  ceremony 
of  kissing  under  the  mistletoe  may  have  some  reference  to  this  original 
belief. 

Grant  Allen  in  the  Cornhill  Maoazine  has  another  theory.  "  In  many  prim- 
itive tribes,"  he  says,  "when  the  chief  or  king  dies,  there  ensues  a  wild  period 
of  general  license,  an  orgy  of  anarchy,  till  a  new  king  is  chosen  and  conse- 
crated in  his  stead  to  replace  him.  During  this  terrible  interregnum  or  lord- 
ship of  misrule,  when  every  man  does  that  which  is  right  (or  otherwise)  in 
his  own  eyes,  all  things  are  lawful  ;  or  rather  there  are  no  laws,  no  lawgiver, 
no  executive.  But  as  soon  as  the  new  chief  comes  to  his  own  again,  every- 
thing is  changed  :  the  community  resumes  at  once  its  wonted  respectability. 
Now,  is  it  not  probable  that  the  mid-winter  orgy  is  similarly  due  to  the  cut- 
ting of  the  mistletoe  ?  perhaps  even  to  the  killing  of  the  King  of  the  Wood 
along  with  it?  Till  the  new  mistletoe  grows,  are  not  all  things  allowable.? 
At  any  rate,  I  cast  out  this  hint  as  a  possible  explanation  of  saturnalian  free- 
dom in  general,  and  kissing  under  the  mistletoe  in  particular.  It  may  con- 
ceivably survive  as  the  last  faint  memory  of  that  wild  orgy  of  license  which 
accompanied  the  rites  of  so  many  slain  gods, — Tammuz,  Adonis,  Dionysus, 
Attis.  Much  mitigated  and  mollified  by  civilization  and  Christianity,  we  may 
still  see  in  it,  perhaps,  some  dim  lineaments  of  the  mad  feasts  which  Herod- 
otus describes  for  us  over  the  dead  gods  of  Egypt.  So  far  back  into  the 
realms  of  savage  thought  does  that  seemingly  picturesque  and  harmless  mis- 
tletoe hurry  us." 

But,  setting  aside  Druidical  and  pagan  practices,  let  us  see  what  part  the 
mistletoe  played  in  mediaeval  times.  It  seems  pretty  well  established  that  it 
once  had  a  place  among  the  evergreens  employed  in  the  Christmas  decora- 
tion of  churches,  but  that  it  was  subsequently  excluded.  Hone  states  that  it 
was  banished  together  with  kissing  in  the  church,  which  practice  had  estab- 
lished itself  at  a  certain  time  of  the  service.  Brand,  however,  asserts  that  the 
mistletoe  never  entered  into  sacred  edifices  except  by  mistake,  and  assigns  it 
a  place  in  the  kitchen,  where  "it  was  hung  up  in  great  state,  with  its  white 
berries  ;  and  whatever  female  chanced  to  stand  under  it,  the  young  man 
present  either  had  a  right,  or  claimed  one,  of  saluting  her,  and  of  plucking 
off  a  berry  at  each  kiss^'  Nares  makes  it  ominous  for  the  maid  not  so  sa- 
luted, and  says,  "The  custom  longest  preserved  was  the  hanging  up  of  a  bush 
of  mistletoe  in  the  kitchen,  or  servants'  hall,  with  the  charm  attached  to  it 
that  the  maid  who  was  not  kissed  under  it  at  Christmas  would  not  be  married 
in  that  year." 

Whatever  the  origin  of  kissing  under  the  mistletoe,  the  custom  was  a  de- 


LITER AR  Y  CURIOSITIES.  733 

servedly  popular  one,  and  still  retains  its  hold.  An  enthusiastic  English 
minstrel  sings, — 

Yet  why  should  this  holy  and  festival  mirth 

■In  the  reign  of  old  Christmas  only  be  found? 
Hang  up  Love's  mistletoe  over  the  eanh, 
And  let  us  kiss  under  it  all  the  year  round. 

But  there  may  be  too  much  of  a  good  thing,  and  then,  too,  there  is  a  time  for 
all  things.  Let  us  keep  up  the  good  old  custom,  however,  at  the  Christmas 
season,  for  it  is  eminently  worth  preserving,  especially  when  a  pretty  girl  is 
in  the  question,  and  certainly  its  antiquity  should  be  a  guarantee  for  its 
respectability. 

Mistress  of  the  Adriatic.  By  this  figure  Venice,  from  her  situation  at 
the  head  of  the  sea  of  that  name,  and  her  commercial  importance  in  the  later 
Middle  Ages  as  the  entrepdt  and  chief  factor  in  the  trade  between  Europe  and 
the  Orient,  is  alluded  to.  The  following  extract  is  a  reference  to  the  fact  that 
this  commercial  pre-eminence  afterwards  passed  to  the  Dutch  : 

The  lations  of  the  Baltic  and  the  farthest  Ind  now  exchanged  their  products  on  a  more 
extensive  scale  and  with  a  wider  sweep  across  the  earth  than  when  the  Mistress  of  the  Adri- 
atic held  the  keys  of  Asiatic  commerce. — Motley  :  Rise  of  the  Dutch  Republic. 

Mitten,  To  give  the,  or  the  sack,  in  American  slang,  to  refuse  a  pro- 
posal of  marriage,  to  dismiss  a  lover.  The  phrase  is  probably  derived  from 
the  French  custom  of  presenting  mitames  to  an  unsuccessful  wooer, — a  sup- 
position strengthened  by  the  fact  that  it  comes  to  us  from  French  Canada ; 
but  it  was  doubtless  influenced  by  some  reminiscence  of  the  old  custom  of 
throwing  the  glove  down  as  a  sign  of  defiance.  The  suggestion  that  there  is 
some  allusion  here  to  the  Latin  mittere,  to  "send" about  one's  business,  seems 
hardly  tenable. 

Had  I  only  got  her  glove — 

Without  2l  g — I'd  have  her  love. 

But  the  lilting,  jilting  kitten 

Has  bestowed  on  me  a  mitien. 

The  Sorrows  of  Sum. 

"  May  I  see  you  safe  home?"  he  asked,  as  he  had  often  asked  her  before,  but  never  before 
with  trepidation.  "  No,"  said  Rachel,  with  an  evident  effort,  and  without  looking  at  Tom's 
face.  Such  an  answer  is  technically  known  as  the  sack  and  the  mitten,  though  it  would  take 
a  more  inventive  antiquary  than  I  to  tell  how  it  got  these  epithets.  But  it  was  one  of  the 
points  on  which  ihe  moral  etiquette  of  that  day  was  rigorous  and  inflexible,  that  such  a  refusal 
closed  the  conversation  and  annihilated  the  beau  without  allowing  him  to  demand  any  ex- 
planations or  to  make  any  further  advances  at  the  time. — Century  Magazine ,  1887,  apud 
"  Farmer." 

Mock-Turtle.  According  to  Dr.  Kitchiner's  "The  Cook's  Oracle,"  a 
famous  book  of  recipes  published  in  London  in  1817,  this  savory  fraud  was 
invented  by  Elizabeth  Lister,  who  is  described  as  "  late  Cook  to  Dr.  Kitchiner, 
Bread  and  Biscuit  Baker,  No.  6  Salcombe-place,  York  Terrace,  Regent's 
Park," — with  the  further  information  that  she  "goes  out  to  dress  dinners  on 
reasonable  terms."  Of  mock-turtle  itself  this  authority  states  that  it  "is  the 
Bonne  Boiuhe  which  the  '  officers  of  the  Mouth'  of  Old  England  prepare 
when  they  choose  to  rival  les  Grands  Cuisiniers  de  {sic)  Trance  in  a  Ragout 
sans  Tareil.'"  The  directions  for  making  this  soup  fill  altogether  about  four 
pages,  and  embedded  among  them  comes  the  following  outburst  in  praise  of 
the  dish  (the  italics  and  the  capitals  are  the  Doctor's)  :  "  Without  its  para- 
phernalia of  subtle  double  Relishes  a  STARVED  TURTLE  has  not  more 
intrinsic  sapidity  than  a  FATTED  CALF.  Friendly  Reader,  it  is  really 
neither  half  so  wholesome  nor  half  so  toothsome."  Later  on  he  says,  "This 
is  a  delicious  Souj?  within  the  range  of  those  'who  eat  to  live,'  but  if  it  had 
been  composed  expressly  for  those  who  only  '  live  to  eat,'  I  do  not  know  how 
62 


734  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

it  could  have  been  made  more  agreeable ;  as  it  is,  the  lover  of  good  eating 
'  will  wish  his  throat  a  mile  long,  and  every  inch  of  it  palate.' " 

Molly  Maguires,  a  secret  society  among  the  coal-miners  of  Pennsylvania, 
which  for  many  years  prior  to  1877  terrorized  the  entire  coal-producing  region, 
and  even  rose  to  be  an  important  political  factor  in  the  State,  through  the 
numerous  votes  which  it  controlled.  The  name  was  originally  that  of  a  secret 
society  organized  in  Ireland  in  1843  for  the  purpose  of  terrorizing  the  officials 
employed  by  the  landlords  to  distrain  for  rent.  Stout,  active  young  men, 
dressed  in  women's  clothes,  with  faces  blackened,  or  otherwise  disguised, 
would  pounce  upon  the  grippers,  bumbailiffs,  process-servers,  and  drivers 
(persons  who  impounded  cattle  till  the  rent  was  paid),  releasing  the  distress 
and  roughly  handling  the  distrainers,  from  the  effects  of  which  they  not  infre- 
quently died. 

The  Molly  Maguires  of  the  coal-regions  were  composed  almost  entirely  of 
Irishmen,  and  they  kept  the  forms  and  practices  of  the  secret  societies  of  the 
old  country.  They  combined  against  mine-owners  and  overseers  as  the  Irish 
society  had  combined  against  landlords  and  agents.  But  their  crimes  were 
worse,  £is  their  excuse  was  less,  and  their  cruelty  was  as  ferocious  as  the 
offence  which  caused  it  was  petty.  In  committing  their  murders,  the  society 
took  a  course  not  unknown  in  the  history  of  the  brotherhoods  of  assassins, 
and  had  the  deeds  done  by  persons  who  were  strangers  in  the  sections  where 
the  victims  lived.  Returns  of  courtesies  were  arranged  by  which  murders 
were  exchanged.  They  pursued  the  same  course  in  regard  to  terrorism  of 
witnesses  and  to  subornation  of  perjury,  and  consequently  for  a  long  time 
made  trials  a  farce.  With  murder  and  incendiarism,  matters  came  to  such  a 
pass  that  in  1875  the  entire  region  was  in  a  tremble  of  fear.  After  the  total 
failure  of  the  local  constabulary,  after  even  the  militia  had  failed  to  establish 
more  than  temporary  quiet,  the  Pinkerton  Agency  of  Chicago  was  ultimately 
set  upon  their  track,  and  largely  through  the  personal  efforts  and  influence  of 
Franklin  B.  Gowen,  President  of  the  Reading  Railroad,  the  ringleaders  were 
detected,  arrested,  convicted,  and,  in  June,  1877,  hanged,  after  which  order  was 
restored  and  the  association  broken  up. 

Moloch.  Figuratively,  a  ruling  passion  or  consuming  vice,  to  which  man 
sacrifices  things  most  dear  and  sacred ;  it  may  be  the  Moloch  of  gambling, 
the  Moloch  of  ambition,  the  Moloch  of  war,  etc.  The  derivation  is  from 
Moloch,  a  god  of  the  Ammonites,  into  whose  bowels,  being  a  furnace  with  a 
raging  fire,  the  worshippers  cast  as  sacrifices  jewels,  treasures,  often  even 
their  own  favorite  children  :  this  practice  is  alluded  to  in  the  Biblical  reference 
to  the  god,  to  whom  children  were  "  made  to  pass  through  the  fire"  in  sacrifice. 

Money  makes    the    mare    go,  an  old   English  proverb  of  uncertain 
origin.     It  may  be  a  far-off  variant  of  the  ancient  phrase  found  in  this  form  in 
Publius  Syrus  :  "  Money  alone  sets  all  the  world  in  motion."  {Maxim  656.) 
There  is  an  old  glee  that  contains  the  following  lines  : 

"  Will  you  lend  me  your  mare  to  go  a  mile?" 
"  No;  she  is  lame,  leaping  over  a  stile." 
"  But  if  you  will  her  to  me  spare 
You  shall  have  money  for  your  mare." 

"  Oh,  ho  !  say  you  so  ? 
Money  will  make  the  mare  to  go." 

There  is  no  evidence,  however,  to  show  that  the  glee  was  not  taken  from  the 
saw.  In  Caleb  Bingham's  "American  Preceptor,"  published  in  1794,  is  a 
dialogue  called  "  Self-interest,"  in  which  an  English  rustic,  named  Scrape- 
well,  makes  all  sorts  of  false  excuses  to  avoid  lending  his  mare  to  a  neighbor, 
but  afterwards,  finding  that  the  loan  is  to  be  profitable  to  himself,  he  takes 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  735 

back  all  the  excuses  and  lets  the  mare  go.  The  author's  name  is  given  as 
Berquin.  Probably  it  is  a  paraphrase  from  the  French  writer  for  children 
Arnauld  Berquin  (1749-91).  The  glee  may  have  been  founded  on  this 
dialogue,  as  it  follows  it  in  all  essentials.  And,  as  the  proverb  is  not  men- 
tioned in  the  dialogue,  the  saw  as  well  as  the  glee  may  have  arisen  therefrom. 

Monkey's  money,  To  make  payment  in, — i.e.,  in  something  of  no  value. 
The  origin  of  the  phrase  is  sought  in  an  ordinance  said  to  have  existed  in 
Paris,  imposing  a  toll  of  four  deniers  upon  any  animal  crossing  the  Petit  Pont 
and  brought  into  the  city  for  sale  ;  if  it  was  a  showman's  monkey,  not  intended 
for  sale,  an  exception  was  made,  and  in  such  a  case  it  would  sufifice  if  the 
monkey  went  through  his  antics  and  grimaces. 

.  .  .  Friar  John  bought  him  two  rare  pictures,  ...  an  original,  by  master  Charles  Char- 
mois.  principal  painter  to  King  Megistus;  and  he  paid  for  them  in  court  fashion,  with 
monkey's  money  (with  conge  and  grimace). — Rabelais,  Book  iv.,  ch.  ii. 

A  parallel  figure  is  the  English  colloquialism  "  monkey's  allowance."  The 
extract  explains  the  meaning  : 

You  fellows  worked  like  bricks,  spent  money,  and  got  midshipman's  half-pay  (nothing  a 
day  and  find  yourself)  and  monkey's  allowance  (more  kicks  than  halfpence). — C.  Kingsley: 
Letters,  May,  1S56. 

Monograms  are  cabalistic-looking  ciphers  or  figures,  often  utterly  mean- 
ingless at  first  sight,  which  on  closer  inspection  resolve  themselves  into  let- 
ters fantastically  intertwined  the  one  with  the  other.  These  devices  can 
be  traced  back  to  early  ages,  possibly  to  the  Egyptians,  and  certainly  to  the 
Greeks,  who  used  them  on  early  coins,  medals,  and  seals.  They  are  found 
also  on  the  family  coins  of  Rome,  but  not  on  the  coins  of  the  Roman  em- 
perors until  the  time  of  Constantine,  who  used,  there  and  elsewhere,  the 
famous  monogram  of  Christ,  formed  from  the  first  two  letters  of  the  Greek 
XPI2T02,  which  was  the  most  striking  part  of  the  labarum.  (See  In  Hoc 
SiGNO  ViNCES.)  Another  famous  Christian  monogram  is  considered  sub  voce 
I.  H.  S.  Charlemagne  is  thought  to  have  revived  in  France  the  practice  of 
placing  monograms  on  coins,  which  was  copied  by  most  of  the  Carlovingian 
kings.  And  in  order  to  hide  his  ignorance  of  the  art  of  writing,  Charlemagne 
was  wont  to  use  a  monogram  stamped  on  a  seal  as  his  signature.  The  "mer- 
chants' marks"  of  the  Middle  Ages  were  often  monograins,  as  were  the 
devices  on  tradesmen's  tokens,  and  the  signatures  of  old  painters,  engravers, 
and  printers.  The  latter  form  the  especial  study  of  the  bibliographer,  who  is 
thus  enabled  to  fix  the  identity  of  the  ancient  editions,  German,  Italian,  and 
English,  from  the  invention  of  printing  down  to  the  middle  or  end  of  the  six- 
teenth century.  But  as  a  means  of  handing  down  one's  name  to  posterity 
monograms  can  hardly  be  considered  a  success.  Not  many  years  ago  a  long 
controversy  broke  out  in  the  pages  of  Notes  and  Queries  concerning  a  mono- 
gram which  different  correspondents  variously  attributed  to  Peter  Quast, 
Lewis  Crosse,  Sir  Peter  Lely,  and  others,  and  which  to  the  uninstructed  mind 
seemed  to  contain  a  P,  a  C,  an  L,  and  a  D.  Unfortunately,  there  are  no  rules 
for  deciphering  a  monogram.  All  attempted  rules,  such  as  that  which  declares 
that  in  these  combinations  the  initial  of  the  surname  should  be  the  most 
prominent  character,  have  been  sacrificed  to  the  exigencies  of  the  occasion  in 
hand.  It  is  now  generally  held  that  the  diphthong  &,  for  example,  is  a  true 
monogram  in  itself,  embracing  the  initials  A,  E,  F,  L  in  any  desired  order, 
and  standing  either  for  Ebenezer  Fitz-Adam  Longshanks  or  Alexandria  Letitia 
Frances  Escobar.  Shakespeare  asks,  What's  in  a  name  ?  With  a  deal  more 
reason  he  might  ask,  "  What's  in  a  monogram  ?" 

Monosyllable.     The   literary  value  of  simplicity,  of  Saxon  as   against 


736  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Latin  terminology,  of  the  short  word  as  against  the  long,  of  monosyllables, 
in  fact,  as  against  polysyllables,  is  a  modern  discovery,  or  not  so  much  a  dis- 
covery as  a  recrudescence.  It  was  known  to  the  Elizabethans,  it  was  forgot- 
ten by  their  successors,  it  was  rediscovered  in  more  modern  times.  Shake- 
speare and  the  English  Bible  have  established  and  retained  their  hold  on  the 
popular  heart  by  their  knowledge  of  this  great  rhetorical  fact.  But  Shakespeare 
and  the  Bible  (as  a  literary  force)  had  become  discredited  in  Queen  Anne's 
age.  For  that  age  was  big  with  the  coming  portent  of  Johnsonese  and  Gib- 
bonese,  it  was  the  legitimate  precursor  of  the  "  Rambler"  and  the  "  Decline 
and  Fall  of  the  Roman  Empire,"  it  was  subconsciously  aware  of  the  revo- 
lution which  it  bore  within  its  womb.  It  is  not  astonishing,  therefore,  to  find 
in  the  work  of  a  great  Queen  Anne  poet  the  well-known  gibe  against  mono- 
syllabic verse, — 

And  ten  low  words  oft  creep  in  one  dull  line. 

This,  of  course,  is  Pope,  in  the  "  Dunciad."  A  successor  of  Pope,  a  satirist 
who  lived  in  the  very  heyday  of  Johnsonese  English, — Churchill,  in  short, — 
in  his  "  Rosciad"  has  this  sarcastic  fling  at  the  actor  Mossop  : 

With  studied  impropriety  of  speech, 

He  soars  beyond  the  hackney'd  critic's  reach; 

To  epithets  allots  emphatic  state, 

Whilst  principals,  ungraced,  like  lackeys  wait; 

In  ways  first  trodden  by  himself  excels. 

And  stands  alone  in  indeclinables ; 

Conjunction,  preposition,  adverb,  join 

To  stamp  new  vigor  on  the  nervous  line ; 

In  monosyllables  his  thunders  roll, 

He,  she,  it,  and  we,  ye,  they,  affright  the  soul. 

But  in  spite  of  Pope,  in  erring  Churchill's  spite,  ten  words  can  fly  as  well 
as  creep,  and  thunders  may  roll  in  monosyllables  as  readily  as  in  sesquipedalia 
verba.  The  finest  passages  in  Shakespeare,  the  "  To  be  or  not  to  be,"  for 
example,  the  most  impressive  portions  of  the  Bible,  as  in  the  books  of  Job 
and  Revelation,  or  the  denunciations  of  Jeremiah  against  Jehoiakim,  King 
of  Judah,  "  O  earth,  earth,  earth,  hear  the  word  of  the  Lord,"  etc.,  the 
Burial  Service,  Tennyson's  "Tears,  Idle  Tears,"  Pope's  "  Universal  Prayer," 
Gray's  "  Elegy,"  Scott's  description  of  the  battle  of  Flodden  Field,— all  these 
and  many  more  of  the  best-remembered  passages  in  English  literature  might 
be  searched  in  vain  for  words  hard  enough  to  set  at  a  spelling-bee.  They 
represent  all  moods  of  the  mind,  all  the  possibilities  of  human  expression. 
They  show  that  directness  and  simplicity  may  consort  with  majesty,  with 
dignity,  with  passion,  with  eloquence.  This  truth  is  excellently  put  in  the 
following  two  sonnets  by  Dr.  J.  Addison  Alexander,  written  throughout  m 
monosyllables,  which  originally  appeared  in  the  Princeton  Review: 

The  Power  of  Short  Words. 

Think  not  that  strength  lies  in  the  big  round  word, 

Or  that  the  brief  and  plain  must  needs  be  weak. 
To  whom  can  this  be  true  who  once  has  heard 

The  cry  for  help,  the  tongue  that  all  men  speak. 
When  want  or  woe  or  fear  is  in  the  throat. 

So  that  each  word  gasped  out  is  like  a  shriek 
Pressed  from  the  sore  heart,  or  a  strange  wild  note 

Sung  by  some  fay  or  fiend  ?     There  is  a  strength 
Which  dies  if  stretched  too  far  or  spun  too  fine. 

Which  has  more  height  than  breadth,  more  depth  than  length. 
Let  but  this  force  of  thought  and  speech  be  mine, 

And  he  that  will  may  take  the  sleek  fat  phrase 
Which  glows  and  bums  not,  though  it  gleam  and  shine, — 

Light,  but  no  heat,— a  flash,  but  not  a  blaze  1 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  737 

Nor  is  it  mere  strength  that  the  short  word  boasts  : 

It  serves  of  more  than  fight  or  storm  to  tell. 
The  roar  of  waves  that  dash  on  rock-bound  coasts. 

The  crash  of  tall  trees  when  the  wild  winds  swell. 
The  roar  of  guns,  the  groans  of  men  that  die 

On  blood-stained  fields.  It  has  a  voice  as  well 
For  them  that  far  off  on  their  sick-beds  lie  : 

For  them  that  weep,  for  them  that  mourn  the  dead  ; 
For  them  that  laugh  and  dance  and  clap  the  hand  ; 

To  joy's  quick  step,  as  well  as  grief's  slow  tread, 
The  sweet,  plain  words  we  learnt  at  first  keep  time. 

And  though  the  theme  be  sad,  or  gay,  or  grand. 
With  each,  with  all,  these  may  be  made  to  chime. 
In  thought,  or  speech,  or  song,  in  prose  or  rhyme. 

Let  US  cull  from  literature  a  few  of  the  more  notable  examples  of  verse  and 
prose  wherein  monosyllables  play  the  chief  and  sometimes  the  only  part. 
Shakespeare  and  the  Bible,  as  we  have  already  noted,  yield  a  rich  harvest. 
Where  is  the  language  of  passionate  grief  made  mere  expressive  than  in  the 
speech  of  the  widowed  Constance  in  "  King  John"  } — 

Thou  may'st,  thou  shalt ;  I  will  not  go  with  thee  : 

I  will  instruct  my  sorrows  to  be  proud  ; 

For  grief  is  proud,  and  makes  his  owner  stout. 

To  me,  and  to  the  state  of  my  great  grief. 

Let  kings  assemble ;  for  my  grief's  so  great. 

That  no  supporter  but  the  huge  firm  earth 

Can  hold  it  up  :  here  I  and  Sorrow  sit ; 

Here  is  my  throne,  bid  kings  come  bow  to  it. 

Act  iii..  So.  I. 
Here  are  seventy-three  words,  of  which  only  six  are  polysyllables.     In  the 
same  play,  in  the  thrilling  scene  where  King  John  is  inciting  Hubert  to  mur- 
der Arthur,  his  speech  consists  largely  of  monosyllables.     Here  are  four  lines 
without  a  single  word  of  more  than  one  syllable  : 

Good  friend,  thou  hast  no  cause  to  say  so  yet ; 
But  thou  shalt  have  ;  and  creep  time  ne'er  so  slow. 
Yet  it  shall  come,  for  me  to  do  thee  good. 
I  had  a  thing  to  say ; — but  let  it  go. 

Act  iii.,  Sc.  3. 
In  one  of  the  most  forceful  of  all  the  Shakespearian  plays,  "  King  Lear," 
the  most  forceful   passages  are  made  up  of  words  of  one  syllable.     Here 
again  are  four  lines  without  a  single  polysyllable  : 

Thou  know'st  the  first  time  that  we  smell  the  air. 
We  wawl  and  cry  :  I  will  preach  to  thee,  mark  me. 
When  we  are  bom  we  cry  that  we  are  come 
To  this  great  stage  of  fools. — This  a  good  block  ? 

Act  iv.,  Sc.  6. 

Coleridge  considered  that  the  most  beautiful  verse,  and  also  the  most  sub- 
lime, in  the  Bible  was  that  in  the  book  of  Ezekiel  which  runs,  "  And  he  said 
unto  me,  Son  of  man,  can  these  bones  live  .''  And  I  answered,  O  Lord  God, 
thou  knowest."  Here  are  seventeen  monosyllables,  and  only  three  words  of 
two  syllables. 

Here  are  a  few  more  examples,  selected  almost  at  random  : 

And  God  said.  Let  there  be  light :  and  there  was  light.  And  God  saw  the  light,  that  it 
was  good. — Genesis  i.  3,  4. 

At  her  feet  he  bowed,  he  fell,  he  lay  down  :  at  her  feet  he  bowed,  he  fell :  where  he  bowed, 
there  he  fell  down  Ae?id.— Judges  v.  27. 

O  Lord  my  God,  I  cried  unto  thee,  and  thou  hast  healed  me.  O  Lord,  thou  hast  brought 
up  my  soul  from  the  grave  :  thou  hast  kept  me  alive,  that  I  should  not  go  down  to  the  pit. 
Sing  unto  the  Lord,  O  ye  saints  of  his,  and  give  thanks. — Psalm  xxx.  2-4. 

Prove  all  things  ;   hold  fast  that  which  is  good. — i  Thessa/onians  v.  21. 

For  if  we  be  dead  with  him,  we  shall  also  live  with  him. — 2  Timothy  ii.  11. 

For  the  great  day  of  his  wrath  is  come  ;  and  who  shall  be  able  to  stand  ? — Revelation  vi.  17. 

And  the  gates  of  it  shall  not  be  shut  at  all  by  day ;  for  there  shall  be  no  night  there. — 
Revelation  xxi.  25. 

WW  62* 


738 


HANDY-BOOK  OF 


If  the  blind  lead  the  blind,  both  shall  fall  into  the  dttch.—Matikeio  xv.  14. 

Take  no  thought  for  your  life,  what  ye  shall  eat,  or  what  ye  shall  drmk.—Afaiihew  vi.  25. 

Or  what  man  is  there  of  you,  whom  if  his  son  ask  bread,  will  he  give  him  a  stone  ? — 
Mattheiu  vii.  9. 

The  tree  is  known  by  his  ix\xn.— Matthew  xn.  33. 

Be  swift  to  hear,  slow  to  speak,  slow  to  wrath.— yaww  i.  19. 

If  they  do  these  things  in  a  green  tree,  what  shall  be  done  in  the  dry  ^— Luke  xxiii.  31. 

We  walk  by  faith,  not  by  sight.— 2  Corinthians  v.  7. 

Lord  Russell,  in  his  Life  of  Moore,  records  a  conversation  between  that 
poet,  Rogers,  and  the  once  popular  critic  Crowe  on  the  use  of  short  words. 
Phrases  like  "  He  jests  at  scars  who  never  felt  a  wound,"  "  Give  all  thou 
canst,"  and  "  Sigh  on  my  lip"  were  quoted  with  approval  as  most  musical  and 
vigorous.     Rogers  cited  two  lines  from  Pope,  declaring  that  they  could  not  be 

improved  : 

Pant  on  thy  lip,  and  to  thy  heart  be  press  d  ; 
Give  all  thou  canst— and  let  me  dream  the  rest. 

Eloisa  to  Abelard,  1.  123. 

Moore  himself  offers  some  excellent  examples  : 

Rich  and  rare  were  the  gems  she  wore. 
And  a  bright  gold  ring  on  her  wand  she  bore. 

Rich  and  rare  -were  the  Gems  she  wore. 
I  know  not,  I  ask  not,  if  guilt's  in  that  heart, 
I  but  know  that  I  love  thee  whatever  thou  art. 

Come  rest  in  this  Bosom. 
I  give  thee  all,— I  can  no  more. 
Though  poor  the  offering  be ; 
My  heart  and  lute  are  all  the  store 
That  I  can  bring  to  thee. 

My  Heart  and  Lute. 
Who  has  not  felt  how  sadly  sweet 

The  dream  of  home,  the  dream  of  home. 
Steals  o'er  the  heart,  too  soon  to  fleet. 
When  far  o'er  sea  or  land  we  roam  ? 

The  Dream  0/  Home. 
Love  on  through  all  ills,  and  love  on  till  they  die. 

The  Light  0/ the  Harem. 
I  knew,  I  knew  it  could  not  last : 
'Twas  bright,  'twas  heavenly,  but  'tis  past. 
Oh,  ever  thus,  from  childhood's  hour, 
I've  seen  my  fondest  hopes  decay; 
I  never  loved  a  tree  or  flower 

But  'twas  the  first  to  fade  away. 
I  never  nursed  a  dear  gazelle. 

To  glad  me  with  its  soft  black  eye. 
But  when  it  came  to  know  me  well 
And  love  me,  it  was  sure  to  die. 
Now,  too,  the  joy  most  like  divine 

Of  all  I  ever  dreamt  or  knew. 
To  see  thee,  hear  thee,  call  thee  mine, — 

Oh,  misery  !   must  I  lose  that  too? 
Yet  go  !     On  peril's  brink  we  meet ; 

Those  frightful  rocks— that  treacherous  sea- 
No,  never  come  again — though  sweet. 

Though  heaven,  it  may  be  death  to  thee  !" 

The  Fire-  Worshippers. 

Phineas  Fletcher  in  "The  Purple  Island"  has  a  remarkable  passage  : 

New  light  new  love,  new  love  new  life  hath  bred ; 

A  life  that  lives  by  love,  and  loves  by  light ; 
A  love  to  Him  to  whom  all  loves  are  wed ; 

A  light  to  whom  the  sun  is  darkest  night  :  _ 
Eye's  light,  heart's  love,  soul's  only  life  He  is  : 
Life,  soul,  love,  heart,  light,  eye,  and  all  are  His ; 
He  eye,  light,  heart,  love,  soul ;  He  all  my  joy  and  bliss. 


LITERAR  V  CURIOSITIES.  739 

Here  are  seventy  words,  and  only  one  word  of  more  than  one  syllable,  and 
that  merely  the  superlative  form  of  a  monosyllable.  Giles  Fletcher,  the 
brother  of  Phineas,  was  often  quite  as  happy  in  his  simplicity  of  phrase, — as, 
for  example  : 

Love  is  the  blossom  where  there  blows 
Every  thing  that  lives  or  grows  ; 
Love  doth  make  the  Heav'ns  to  move. 
And  the  Sun  doth  burn  in  love : 
Love  the  strong  and  weak  doth  yoke. 
And  makes  the  ivy  climb  the  oak ; 
Under  whose  shadows  lions  wild, 
Soften'd  by  love,  grow  tame  and  mild. 

Love  no  med'cine  can  appease, 

He  bums  the  fishes  in  the  seas  ; 

Not  all  the  skill  his  wounds  can  stench. 

Not  all  the  sea  his  fire  can  quench  : 

Love  did  make  the  bloody  spear 

Once  a  leafy  coat  to  wear. 

Here  are  two  of  the  most  famous  of  George  Herbert's  poems.  The  second 
is  especially  noteworthy  as  containing  but  a  single  dissyllable  and  eighty-two 
monosyllables  : 

Virtue. 

Sweet  day,  so  cool,  so  calm,  so  bright. 

The  bridal  of  the  earth  and  sky. 
The  dew  shall  weep  thy  fall  to-night ; 
For  thou  must  die. 

Sweet  rose,  whose  hue  angry  and  brave 

Bids  the  rash  gazer  wipe  his  eye. 
Thy  root  is  ever  in  the  grave. 

And  thou  must  die. 

Sweet  spring,  full  of  sweet  days  and  roses, 

A  box  where  sweets  compacted  lie. 

My  music  shows  ye  have  your  closes, 

And  all  must  die. 

Only  a  sweet  and  virtuous  soul. 

Like  season'd  timber,  never  gives. 
But  though  the  whole  world  turn  to  coal. 
Then  chiefly  lives. 

The  Call. 

Come,  my  Way,  my  Truth,  my  Life : 

Such  a  Way,  as  gives  us  breath  ; 
Such  a  Truth,  as  ends  all  strife  ; 

Such  a  Life,  as  killeth  death. 

Come,  my  Light,  my  Feast,  my  Strength : 

Such  a  Light,  as  shows  a  feast ; 
Such  a  Feast,  as  mends  in  length ; 

Such  a  Strength,  as  makes  his  guest. 

Come,  my  Joy,  my  Love,  my  Heart : 

Such  a  Joy,  as  none  can  move  ; 
Such  a  Love,  as  none  can  part ; 

Such  a  Heart,  as  joys  In  love. 

Thomas  Lodge,  the  poet  from  whose  "  Euphues'  Golden  Legacy"  Shake- 
speare drew  the  plot  of  his  "  As  You  Like  It,"  has  this  notable  example  : 

Madrigal. 

Love  in  my  bosom,  like  a  bee. 

Doth  sucke  his  sweete  ; 
Now  with  his  wings  he  plays  with  me,  • 

Now  with  his  feete. 


740  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Within  mine  eyes  he  makes  his  nest, 
His  bed  amid  my  tender  breast  ; 
My  kisses  are  his  daily  feast, 
And  yet  he  robs  me  of  my  rest. 

Strike  I  my  lute,  he  tunes  the  string. 
He  music  plays,  if  I  do  sing; 
He  lends  me  every  living  thing, 
Yet  cruel  he  my  heart  doth  sting. 

What  if  I  beat  the  wanton  boy 

With  many  a  rod, 
He  will  repay  me  with  annoy. 

Because  a  god. 

Then  sit  thou  safely  on  my  knee. 
And  let  thy  bower  my  bosom  be ; 

0  Cupid  !  so  thou  pity  me, 

1  will  not  wish  to  part  from  thee. 

In  this  stanza  by  Ben  Jonson — the  most  famous  passage  in  all  his  voluminous 
verse — there  is  but  one  word  of  more  than  one  syllable  : 
Drink  to  me  only  with  thine  eyes. 

And  I  will  pledge  with  mine ; 
Or  leave  a  kiss  but  in  the  cup. 
And  I'll  not  look  for  wine. 

The  Forest :  To  Celia. 

Bailey's  "  Festus"  once  threw  all  England  into  ecstasies  of  admiration. 
To-day  only  a  few  passages  here  and  there  live  in  the  popular  memory.  It  is 
worthy  of  note  that  they  consist  almost  entirely  of  monosyllables  : 

Night  brings  out  stars  as  sorrow  shows  us  truth  : 

Though  many,  yet  they  help  not ;  bright,  they  light  not. 

They  are  too  late  to  serve  us  ;  and  sad  things 

Are  aye  too  true.     We  never  see  the  stars 

Till  we  can  see  naught  but  them.     So  with  truth. 

And  yet  if  one  would  look  down  a  deep  well, 

Even  at  noon,  we  might  see  those  same  stars. 

Life's  more  than  breath,  and  the  quick  round  of  blood. 
We  live  in  deeds,  not  years, — in  thoughts,  not  breaths. 
We  should  count  time  by  heart-throbs.     He  most  lives 
Who  thinks  most,  feels  the  noblest,  acts  the  best. 
Life's  but  a  means  unto  an  end. 

We  may  say  that  the  sun  is  dead,  and  gone 
For  ever  ;  and  may  swear  he  will  rise  no  more ; 
The  skies  may  put  on  mourning  for  their  God, 
And  earth  heap  ashes  on  her  head  ;  but  who 
Shall  keep  the  sun  back  when  he  thinks  to  rise? 
Where  is  the  chain  shall  bind  him?     Where  the  cell 
Shall  hold  him?     Hell  he  would  burn  down  to  embers. 
And  would  lift  up  the  world  with  a  lever  of  light 
Out  of  his  way  :  yet,  know  ye,  'twere  thrice  less 
To  do  thrice  this,  than  keep  the  soul  from  God. 

It  is  well  worth  noting,  also,  that  the  arch-offender  against  the  simplicity 
of  the  English  language,  Dr.  Johnson  himself,  is  remembered  best  by  the 
things  he  did  when  not  in  the  Johnsonese  mood.  His  plain,  direct  talk,  as 
embalmed  in  Boswell,  is  a  delight  forever  ;  his  essays,  even  his  "  Rasselas," 
are  unread.  Of  his  poems  only  a  few  nervous  Saxon  lines  survive : 
He  left  the  name  at  which  the  world  grew  pale. 
To  point  a  moral  or  adorn  a  tale. 

Vanity  of  Human  IViskes  ; 

For  we  that  live  to  please  must  please  to  live. 

Prologue  on  opening  of  Drury  Lane : 

and  the  couplet  which  he  added  to  Goldsmith's  "  Traveller :" 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  741 

How  small  of  all  that  human  hearts  endure 
The  part  which  laws  or  kings  can  make  or  cure  ! 
Byron  offers  many  examples,  none  better  than  the  following: 
I  had  a  dream  which  was  not  all  a  dream. 

Darkness. 
My  boat  is  on  the  shore, 

And  my  bark  is  on  the  sea ; 
But  before  I  go,  Tom  Moore, 
Here's  a  double  health  to  thee  I 

Here's  a  sigh  to  those  who  love  me. 

And  a  smile  to  those  who  hate  ; 
And,  whatever  sky's  above  me, 

Here's  a  heart  for  every  fate. 

Were't  the  last  drop  in  the  well. 

As  I  gasp'd  upon  the  brink. 
Ere  my  fainting  spirit  fell 

'Tis  to  thee  that  I  would  drink. 

To  Thomas  Moore. 

No  better  instance  of  the  power  of  short  words  can  be  offered  than  in  his 
famous  characterization  of  man  : 

Half  dust,  half  deity,  alike  unfit 

To  sink  or  soar. 

Compare  this  with  Churchill's  couplet,  from  which  Byron  stole  his  thought, — 
Half  lowly  earth  and  half  ethereal  fire, 
Too  proud  to  sink,  too  lowly  to  aspire, — 

and  note  what  energy  is  gained  by  the  substitution  of  short  words  for  long. 
Here  are  a  few  miscellaneous  examples  : 

We  have  short  time  to  stay  as  you. 

We  have  as  short  a  spring ; 
As  quick  a  growth  to  meet  decay 
As  you,  or  any  thing. 
We  die 
As  your  hours  do,  and  dry 
Away 
Like  to  the  summer's  rain. 
Or  as  the  pearls  of  morning's  dew 
Ne'er  to  be  found  again. 

Herrick. 
Thou  who  hast  given  me  eyes  to  see 

And  love  this  sight  so  fair. 

Give  me  a  heart  to  find  out  thee 

And  read  thee  everywhere. 

Keble. 
The  bell  strikes  one.     We  take  no  note  of  time 
Save  by  its  loss  ;  to  give  it  then  a  tongue 
Were  wise  in  man. 

Young. 
Ah,  yes  !  the  hour  is  come 
When  thou  must  haste  thee  home. 

Pure  soul,  to  Him  who  calls. 
The  God  who  gave  thee  breath 
Walks  by  the  side  of  death. 
And  naught  that  step  appalls. 

Landor. 
If  I  am  right,  thy  grace  impart 

Still  in  the  right  to  stay  ; 
If  I  am  wrong,  oh,  teach  my  heart 
To  find  that  better  way  ! 

Pope. 
But  who  I  was,  or  where,  or  from  what  cause. 
Knew  not ;  to  speak  I  tried,  and  forthwith  spake. 
Thou  sun,  said  I,  fair  light. 


742  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

And  thou  enlightened  earth,  so  fresh  and  gay. 
Ye  hills  and  dales,  ye  rivers,  woods,  and  plains. 
And  ye  that  live  and  move,  fair  creatures,  tell. 
Tell,  if  ye  saw,  how  came  I  thus,  how  here  ! 

Tell  me,  how  may  I  know  Him,  how  adore. 
From  whom  I  have  that  thus  I  move  and  live  ? 

Milton  :  Paradise  Lost,  Book  viii. 
Fond  fool,  six  feet  shall  serve  for  all  thy  store. 
And  he  that  cares  for  most  shall  find  no  more. 

Hall. 

The  last-quoted  verse  extorted  from  the  polysyllabic  Gibbon  the  exclama- 
tion, "  What  harmonious  monosyllables  !" 

Monroe  Doctrine,  a  political  creed  first  officially  propounded  by  James 
Monroe,  fifth  President  of  the  United  States,  in  his  message  of  December  2, 
1823,  and  ever  since  the  declared  policy  of  the  American  Union, — i.e.,  to  con- 
sider as  dangerous  to  its  peace  and  safety,  and  to  discountenance,  any  attempt 
of  European  powers  to  extend  further  their  jurisdiction  on  the  Western 
Hemisphere.  A  flagrant  violation  of  the  doctrine  was  the  intervention  of 
Napoleon  III.  and  the  establishment  of  the  empire  of  Maximilian  in  Mexico. 
Others  are  the  seizure  of  the  Falkland  Islands  off  the  coast  of  South  America, 
and  of  the  Mosquito  Coast  in  Central  America,  by  Great  Britain,  both  of  which 
she  still  holds.  The  doctrine  was  also  relaxed  in  favor  of  the  latter  power  with 
reference  to  the  right  to  the  control  of  any  canal  to  be  constructed  through  the 
Isthmus  of  Panama,  by  the  terms  of  the  Clayton- Bulwer  treaty,  admitting 
Great  Britain  into  the  joint  supervision  of  the  proposed  water-way. 

Monsters  of  the  deep.     Byron,  in  his  address  to  the  Ocean,  says, — 
Even  from  out  thy  slime 
The  monsters  of  the  deep  are  made. 

A  similar  phrase  may  be  met  with  in  Dryden's  "  Medal," — a  poem  written 
on  the  striking  of  the  medal  to  commemorate  the  grand  jury's  return  of  an 
"  Ignoramus"  in  the  case  of  the  Earl  of  Shaftesbury,  indicted  for  high  treason. 
The  indignant  poet  compares  London  to  the  Nile,  which,  though  the  cause 
of  fertility  and  wealth, — 

Yet  monsters  from  thy  large  increase  we  find. 
Engendered  on  the  slime  thou  leavest  behind. 

Month's  mind,  a  great  longing  or  desire  cherished  for  some  time.     This 

is  the  sense  in  which  Shakespeare  uses  the  phrase  when  he  makes  Julia  say, — 

I  see  you  have  a  month's  mind  to  them. 

Two  Gentletnen  0/  Verona,  Act  i.,  Sc.  2  ; 

but  it  is  a  sense  very  different  from  that  which  it  bore  originally.  The 
name  came  from  an  ancient  solemn  commemorative  service  in  the  Catholic 
Church  held  one  month  after  the  death  of  the  person  for  the  benefit  of  whose 
soul  it  was  celebrated.  His  (or  her)  name  was  wont  to  be  written  on  a  tablet  and 
kept  on  the  altar,  and  was  read  out  at  the  proper  point  in  the  mass.  This  was 
called  "mynding"  the  dead.  The  ceremony  might  be  repeated  each  month 
for  a  year,  in  which  case  it  was  called  "a  year's  mind."  The  phrase  is  still 
retained  in  Lancashire,  England,  an  exceptionally  Catholic  county,  but  else- 
where the  "Mind  Days"  are  called  "Anniversary  Days."  The  following 
extract  from  Peck's  "  Desiderata  Curiosa"  offers  an  explanation  of  how  the 
phrase  came  to  acquire  its  modern  meaning  :  "  By  saying  that  they  have  a 
month's  mind  to  a  thing,  they  undoubtedly  mean  that,  if  they  had  what  they 
so  much  longed  for,  it  would  do  them  as  much  good  as  they  believe  '  a  month's 
mind,'  or  service  in  the  church  said  once  a  month,  would  benefit  their  souls 
after  their  decease."     In  what  esteem  this  "  month's  mind"  was  formerly  held 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  743 

is  shown  by  the  elaborate  directions  for  the  conduct  of  it  found  in  the  wills  of 
sundry  persons  of  consequence.  Thus,  Thomas  Windsor,  Esq.  (i479).  w'^'s 
that  at  his  "  Month's  Mind"  "there  be  a  hundred  children  within  the  age  of 
sixteen  years  to  say  for  my  soul."  Also,  "that  against  my  month's  mind 
candles  be  burned  before  the  rood  in  the  parish  church  ;  also,  that  my  execu- 
tors provide  twenty  priests  to  sing  '  Placebo,  Dirige,'  etc."  Fabyan  (born 
1450),  one  of  the  historians  of  early  Britain,  also  gives  instructions  in  his  will 
for  his  "  Month's  Mind  :"  "  I  will  that  myne  executrice  doo  cause  to  be  carried 
from  London  xii  newe  torches  to  burne  in  the  tymes  of  the  said  burying  and 
montkes  minde.  Also,  I  will  that  breade,  ale,  and  chese  for  all  comers  to  the 
parish  church  be  ordered  as  shall  be  thought  needful  against  a  monthes  mind:'' 
"  In  Ireland,"  we  are  told  by  an  authority,  "  after  the  death  of  a  great  person- 
age, they  count  four  weeks  ;  and  four  weeks  from  that  day  all  priests  and  friars, 
and  all  the  gentry  far  and  near,  are  invited  to  a  great  feast,  usually  termed  the 
month's  mind.  The  preparations  for  this  feast  are  masses  said  in  all  parts  of 
the  house  at  once  for  the  soul  of  the  departed.  If  the  room  be  large  there 
are  three  or  four  priests  celebrating  together  in  the  several  corners  of  the 
room.  The  masses  done,  they  proceed  to  their  feasting,  but,  after  all  the 
others,  each  priest  and  friar  is  discharged  with  his  largess." 

Moon  and  the  brook.  One  of  the  most  familiar  of  Tom  Moore's  meta- 
phors occurs  in  the  following  lines  : 

I  said  (while 

The  moon's  smile 
Played  o'er  a  stream  in  dimpling  bliss), 

"  The  moon  looks 

On  many  brooks, 
The  brook  can  see  no  moon  but  this." 

Moore  expressly  acknowledges,  "  This  image  was  suggested  by  the  following 
thought,  which  occurs  somewhere  in  Sir  William  Jones's  works:  'The  moon 
looks  upon  many  night-flowers,  the  night-flower  sees  but  one  moon.' " 
Bulwer-Lytton  had  a  similar  idea  in  the  blind  girl  Nydia's  song,  where 
The  Wind  and  the  Beam  loved  the  Rose, 
But  the  Rose  loved  one. 

Moon,  To  cry  for  the, — i.e.,  to  desire  the  unattainable. 

In  the  evening  walked  down  alone  to  the  lake  by  the  side  of  Crow  Park  after  sunset,  and 
saw  the  solemn  coloring  of  light  draw  on .  the  last  gleam  of  sunshine  fading  away  on  the  hill-tops, 
the  deep  serene  of  the  waters,  and  the  long  shadows  of  the  mountains  thrown  across  them, 
till  they  nearly  touched  the  hithermost  shore.  At  distance  heard  the  murmur  of  many  water- 
falls, not  audible  in  the  daytime.  Wished  for  the  moon,  but  she  was  dark  to  me,  and  silent, 
hid  in  her  vacant  interlunar  cave. — Thomas  Gray. 

Cognate  phrases  are  "  to  cast  beyond  the  moon," — i.e.,  to  make  extravagant 
conjectures,  "to  level  at  the  moon,"  to  have  highly  ambitious  aims.  ^  "You 
have  found  an  elephant  in  the  moon,"  is  to  have  discovered  a  mare's  nest. 
Sir  Paul  Neal,  a  shallow  but  extremely  vain  dilettante  living  in  the  seven- 
teenth century,  announced  the  incredible  fact,  which  he  stoutly  maintained, 
that  he  had  discovered  "  an  elephant  in  the  moon."  As  it  turned  out,  his 
elephant  was  a  mouse  which  had  somehow  got  into  his  telescope.  There  is 
a  satirical  poem  on  the  subject  by  Samuel  Butler  called  "The  Elephant  in 
the  Moon." 

Moonlighters,  in  Ireland,  men  who  carry  out  sentences  of  secret  societies 
af^ainst  individuals  and  perform  their  work  of  violence  by  night.  The  cognate 
American  term  "moonshiners"  means  illicit  distillers,  from  the  fact  that  they 
have  to  carry  on  their  business,  either  actually  or  metaphorically,  in  the  dark. 

Mooushine,  All,   a   colloquial    phrase    for    nonsense,  illusion.     Thus, 


744  HANDY-BOOJC  OF 

Brougham,  speaking  of  the  salary  attached  to  a  new  judgeship,  said  it  was  all 
moonshine.  "  Maybe,"  said  Lord  Lyndhurst ;  "but  I've  a  notion  that,  moon- 
shine or  not,  you  would  like  to  see  the  first  quarter  of  it." 

Morey  Letter,  a  letter  purporting  to  have  been  written  by  James  A. 
Garfield  to  "  H.  L.  Morey,  Employers'  Union,  Lynn,  Mass.,"  and  published 
in  fac-simile  in  an  interior  New  York  morning  newspaper  on  the  eve  of  the 
Presidential  election  in  1880.  It  expressed  sympathy  with  the  capitalist  em- 
ployers of  labor,  whose  interests,  it  said,  would  be  "  best  conserved"  by  freely 
admitting  the  immigration  of  Chinese  laborers.  It  was  copied  and  widely 
published  in  the  newspapers,  including  those  of  the  Pacific  coast,  and,  not- 
withstanding the  prompt  action  of  the  Republican  managers  in  New  York 
against  the  publishers  of  the  newspaper  in  question  and  in  denouncing  it 
as  the  forgery  which  it  was  finally  proved  to  be,  it  probably  was  the  cause  of 
the  Republican  loss  of  the  State  of  California,  which  was  apparently  its  main 
object.     The  Morey  name  and  address  was  a  myth. 

Morgan.  A  good  enough  Morgan  until  after  election,  an  effective 
phrase  in  the  anti-Masonic  party  campaign  in  New  York  in  the  year  1S27. 
A  certain  Morgan  had  disappeared,  and,  it  was  alleged,  had  been  kidnapped 
and  murdered  by  the  Masons.  A  body  was  indeed  found,  which  was  as- 
serted by  the  anti-Masons  to  be  that  of  the  vanished  Morgan.  As  related 
by  Thurlow  Weed  in  his  Autobiography  (vol.  i.  p.  319),  the  following  in- 
cident is  that  which  gave  rise  to  the  cry:  "The  election  of  1827  elicited  an 
accusation  against  me  which  assumed  proportions  not  dreamed  of  by  those 
with  whom  it  originated.  Ebenezer  Griffin,  Esq.,  one  of  the  counsel  of  the 
'kidnappers,'  who  was  going  to  Batavia  to  conduct  the  examination,  ob- 
served laughingly  to  me,  '  After  we  have  proven  that  the  body  found  at  Oak 
Orchard  is  that  of  Timothy  Monroe,  what  will  you  do  for  a  Morgan  ?'  I 
replied  in  the  same  spirit,  'That  is  a  good  enough  Morgan  for  us  until  you 
bring  back  the  one  you  carried  off.'  On  the  following  day  the  Rochester 
Daily  Advertiser  gave  what  became  the  popular  version  of  the  story, — namely, 
that  Mr.  Weed  had  declared  that,  whatever  might  be  proven,  the  body  '  was 
a  good  enough  Morgan  until  after  the  election.' "  The  phrase  thus  misquoted 
became  an  anti-Masonic  watchword. 

Mosaics,  or  Centos.  A  mosaic  means  an  arrangement  of  small  vari-colored 
glass,  stones,  marbles,  etc.,  in  patterns  and  figures.  By  extension  the  name  is  also 
applied  to  a  sort  of  literary  patchwork  consisting  of  lines  selected  at  random 
from  various  works  or  authors  and  rearranged  into  a  new  logical  order.  The 
result  is  also  known  as  a  cento,  from  the  Greek  word  KEvrpuv,  "  patchwork," 
probably  influenced  by  a  phonetic  analogy  with  the  Latin  word  centum,  "  a 
hundred."  The  art  was  practised  both  by  the  Greeks  and  the  Romans  during 
the  decay  of  the  true  poetic  spirit.  From  the  former  we  have  inherited  the 
"  Homero-centones,"  a  patchwork  of  lines  taken  from  Homer  (edited  by 
Teucher  at  Leipsic,  1793),  from  the  latter  the  "Cento  Nuptialis"  of  Ausonius 
(who  gives  rules  for  the  composition  of  the  cento)  and  the  "  Cento  Virgilianus" 
of  Proba  Falconia.  The  latter  lady  was  the  wife  of  the  proconsul  Adelfius. 
Both  she  and  her  husband  were  converts  to  Christianity  in  the  time  of  Con- 
stantine,  and  she  celebrated  the  new  faith  by  giving  in  misplaced  lines  from 
Virgil  an  epitome  of  Biblical  history  from  Adam  to  Christ.  To  accomplish 
her  object  she  did  not  change  a  single  line,  but  arranged  the  whole  under 
numerous  sub-heads  (as  in  modern  newspapers),  which  gave  the  needed  in- 
terpretation of  the  text  below.  Something  of  her  method  may  be  under- 
stood from  the  following,  which  is  made  to  describe  Christ's  ascension  into 
heaven : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  745 

Christus  ascendit  ad  Ccelos. 

His  demum  exactis,  spirantes  dimovet  auras 
Aera  per  tenuem,  coeloque  invectus  aperto, 
Mortales  visus  medio  in  sermone  reliquit, 
Infert  se  septus  nebula  (mirabile  dictu) 
Atque  ilium  solio  stellantis  regia  ccell 
Accipit,  sEternumque  tenet  per  saecula  nomen. 

Her  example  was  followed  by  numerous  monkish  imitators  in  the  Middle 
Ages,  who  made  the  heathens  bear  copious  testimony  of  this  sort  to  Christian 
ethics  and  dogma.  For  example,  Metullus,  a  monkish  author  of  the  twelfth 
century,  constructed  a  number  of  devotional  hymns  from  such  unpromising 
material  as  Horace,  with  occasional  assistance  from  Virgil.  A  vScotchman 
named  Alexander  Ross  (1590-1654)  produced  a  number  of  great  works  in 
this  line,  among  them  a  "  Virgilius  Evangelizans,"  being  a  life  of  Christ  made 
up  entirely  from  Virgil.  These  great  works  are  now  forgotten,  and  the 
author  is  only  remembered  to-day  by  a  chance  allusion  in  Butler's  "  Hudibras  :" 

There  was  an  ancient  sage  philosopher. 
And  he  had  read  Alexander  Ross  over. 

Tte  cento  did  not  take  very  vigorous  root  in  British  soil.  Ross  was  the  only 
enthusiast  who  devoted  a  lifetime  to  the  work.  Nevertheless  a  few  stray 
trifles  of  this  sort  have  occasionally  been  composed.  The  best  of  these  may 
be  cited  as  illustrative  examples.  An  early — perhaps  the  earliest— English 
specimen  was  composed  by  a  member  of  a  certain  Shakespeare  Society  which 
met  annually  to  celebrate  the  death  of  their  eponymic  hero.  It  has  survived 
through  the  fact  that  it  was  communicated  to  Dodsley,  who  included  it  in  his 
"Collection  of  Poems  by  Several  Hands"  (1748).  Here  it  is : 
On  the  Birthday  of  Shakespeare. 

A  Cento  taken  from  his  Works. 
Peace  to  this  meeting, 
Joy  and  fair  time,  health  and  good  wishes. 
Now,  worthy  friends,  the  cause  why  we  are  met 
Is  in  celebration  of  the  day  that  gave 
Immortal  Shakespeare  to  this  favored  isle, 
The  most  replenished  sweet  work  of  Nature 
Which  from  the  prime  creation  e'er  she  framed. 
O  thou,  divinest  Nature  I  how  thyself  thou  blazon'st 
In  this  thy  son  !  formed  in  thy  prodigality 
To  hold  thy  mirror  up,  and  give  the  time 
Its  very  form  and  pressure !     When  he  speaks. 
Each  aged  ear  plays  truant  at  his  tales. 
And  younger  hearings  are  quite  ravished. 
So  voluble  is  his  discourse.     Gentle 
As  zephyr  blowing  underneath  the  violet. 
Not  wagging  its  sweet  head — yet  as  rough 
His  noble  blood  enchafcd,  as  the  rude  wind. 
That  by  the  top  doth  take  the  mountain  pine 
And  make  him  stoop  to  the  vale.     'Tis  wonderful 
That  an  invisible  instinct  should  frame  him 
To  loyalty,  unlearned  ;  honor,  untaught ; 
Civility,  not  seen  in  others  ;  knowledge. 
That  wildly  grows  in  him,  but  yields  a  crop 
As  if  It  had  been  sown.     What  a  piece  of  work ! 
How  noble  in  faculty  !  infinite  in  reason  1 
A  combination  and  a  form  indeed 
Where  every  god  did  seem  to  set  his  seal. 
Heaven  has  him  now !     Yet  let  our  idolatrous  fancy 
Still  sanctify  his  relics,  and  this  day 
Stand  aye  distinguished  in  the  calendar 
To  the  last  syllable  of  recorded  time ; 
For  if  we  take  him  but  for  all  in  all, 
We  ne'er  shall  look  upon  his  like  again. 

2G  63 


746  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

It  will  be  seen  that  this  cento  does  not  play  fair.  It  alters,  adds,  and  sub- 
tracts according  to  the  exigencies  of  the  moment.  Even  greater  liberties  are 
taken  in  the  following,  which  was  recently  contributed  to  the  Manchester 
PresSy  England,  by  one  E.  A.  Marsh  : 

My  Faith. 

Tune. — "From  Greenland's  Icy  Mountains." 

I  am  a  pilgrim  stranger  Heb.  xi.  13. 

And  often  far  from  home,  Heh.  xi.  9. 

I  pass  through  toil  and  danger  /.  Pet.  i.  17. 

Wherever  I  may  roam.  •    /.  Pet.  ii.  n. 

I  meet  with  opposition  //.  Cor.  ii.  8,  9. 

And  trials  on  each  hand,  /.  Pet.  i.  7. 

While  publishing  salvation,  Rom.  x.  10. 

As  Jesus  gave  command.  Mark  xvi.  15. 


And  while  I  am  proclaiming 

Glad  tidings  from  the  Word, 
Some  understand  its  meaning 

And  start  to  serve  the  Lord, 
While  others  will  reject  it 

And  turn  their  ears  away. 
Although  God's  Holy  Spirit 

Has  plainly  shown  the  way. 

I  teach  that  man  is  mortal. 

But  this  some  will  deny, 
And  think  such  teachings  sinful. 

Although  I  tell  them  why  ; 
I  turn  to  revelation, 

And  there  I  find  that  man 
Was  dust  at  his  creation. 

And  turns  to  dust  again. 

The  serpent  said  in  Eden, 

"  Ye  shall  not  surely  die  ;'* 
And  men  of  every  nation 

Believe  the  same  old  lie. 
Although  God  said  to  Adam 

That  "  Thou  shalt  surely  die," 
Yet  few  dare  to  believe  Him 

Or  on  Kb  Word  rely. 

Man  then  is  not  immortal, 

But  patiently  must  strive 
To  gain  a  life  eternal 

Through  Christ  who  makes  alive. 
In  Him  we  have  redemption 

And  may  be  saved  to-day. 
By  seeking  for  salvation 

Through  Christ  the  living  way. 

It  has  been  man's  opinion 

That  when  a  good  man  dies 
He  enters  into  heaven, 

Beyond  the  stars  and  skies; 
Yet  there's  no  promise  given 

That  they  shall  thus  receive 
A  home  with  Christ  in  heaven. 

Though  many  thus  believe. 

The  Saviour  once  ascended 

To  dwell  at  God's  right  hand. 
When  Gentile  times  have  ended 

Descends  to  fake  command  : 
He  now  is  interceding 

For  vain  and  sinful  man. 
But  soon  He'll  finish  pleading 

And  come  to  earth  again. 


Kom.  X.  15. 

Luke  ii.  ro. 
Matt.  xiii.  23. 

Jsa.  Iv.  6,  7. 

John  xii.  48. 

JI.  Titn.  iv.  4. 

Eph.  vi.  17. 


Job  iv.  17. 

John  iii.  19. 

Luke  X.  16. 

/.  Thess.  v.  21. 

/.  Tim.  iii.  16,  17. 

Gen.  ii.  7. 

Gen.  iii.  19. 

Eccl.  iii.  20. 

Gen.  iii.  i. 

Gen.  iii.  4. 
/.  Tim.  iv.  2. 
John  viii.  44. 

Gtn.  ii.  16. 

Gen.  ii.  17. 

John  v.  40. 

Mark  vii.  13. 

/.  Tim.  vi.  16. 
Rom.  ii.  7. 
John  vi.  53. 
John  iii.  36. 
/.  Pet.  i.  18. 
Mark  xvi.  15. 
John  V.  39. 
John  xiv.  6. 

Mark  vii.  8. 

yob  xiv.  10. 

John  iii.  13. 

Acts  ii.  24. 

John  xiii.  24. 

John  xiv.  1-3. 

John  vii.  33. 

/.  yohn  v.  10-12. 

Acts\.  II. 

Heb.  i.  3. 

I.uke  xxi.  24. 

Dan.  vii.  13. 

/.  yohn  ii.  I. 

yohn  ii.  2. 

Rev.  xxii.  12. 

/.  Thess.  iv.  16. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


747 


The  promise  is  recorded 

That  when  He  comes  again 
The  saints  will  be  rewarded 

And  in  the  Kingdom  reign. 
They  then  will  be  immortal 

And  roam  the  plains  of  light. 
But  sinners  death  eternal 

Shall  share  in  endless  night. 

The  times  of  restitution 

He  then  will  usher  in, 
Amid  great  lamentation 

His  righteous  reign  begin. 
He  comes  to  take  the  Kingdom, 

To  rule  on  David's  throne, 
The  Kingdom  and  dominion 

He  then  will  rule  alone. 


Rom.  iv.  13. 

Heb.  ix.  28. 
Matt.  xvi.  27. 

Dan.  vii.  27. 
/.  Cor.  XV.  53. 

Rev.  xxii.  5. 

Rom.  vi.  23. 
Isa.  i.  28. 

Acts  iii.  21. 

Dan.  ii.  44- 

Rev.  i.  17. 

Isa.  xxxii.  1. 

Ezek.  xxi.  25. 

Luke  i.  32. 

Dan.  vii.  14. 

Ps.  ex.  I,  2. 


Though  Israel  has  been  scattered,  Ex.  xxii.  15. 

Yet  from  the  Word  we  learn  II.  Tim.  iv.  8. 

They  surely  will  be  gathered  Ezek.  xxxiv.  11-28. 

And  to  their  land  return.  Ezek.  xxxvii.  21-28. 

'Tis  then  the  restoration  Rom.  xi.  26. 

Of  Israel  will  take  place.  Acts  i.  6. 

They  are  a  chosen  nation  Deut.  x.  5. 

And  of  a  royal  race.  Ps.  Ixxu.  i. 

But  the  two  following  are  not  open  to  criticism  on  the  same  score  : 
What  is  Life? 


What  strange  infatuation  rules  mankind. 

What  diflTerent  spheres  to  human  bliss  assigned ; 

To  loftier  things  your  finer  pulses  bum. 

If  man  would  but  his  finer  nature  learn  ; 

What  several  ways  men  to  their  calling  have. 

And  grasp  at  life  though  sinking  to  the  grave. 

Ask  what  is  human  life  !  the  sage  replies. 

Wealth,  pomp,  and  honor  are  but  empty  toys: 

We  trudge,  we  travel  but  from  pain  to  pain. 

Weak,  timid  landsmen  on  life's  stormy  main  : 

We  only  toil  who  are  the  first  of  things. 

From  labor  health,  from  health  contentment  springs ; 

Fame  runs  before  us  as  the  morning  star. 

How  little  do  we  know  that  which  we  are ; 

Let  none  then  here  his  certain  knowledge  boast 

Of  fleeting  joys  too  certain  to  be  lost ; 

For  over  all  there  hangs  a  cloud  of  fear. 

All  is  but  change  and  separation  here. 

To  smooth  life's  passage  o'er  its  stormy  way. 

Sum  up  at  night  what  thou  hast  done  by  day ; 

Be  rich  in  patience  if  thou  in  gudes  be  poor; 

So  many  men  do  stoope  to  sight  unsure ; 

Choose  out  the  man  to  virtue  most  inclined. 

Throw  envy,  folly,  prejudice  behind. 

Defer  not  till  to-morrow  to  be  wise, 

Wealth  heaped  on  wealth,  nor  truth  nor  safety  buys ; 

Remembrance  worketh  with  her  busy  train. 

Care  draws  on  care,  woe  comforts  woe  again  ; 

On  high  estates  huge  heaps  of  care  attend. 

No  joy  so  great  but  runneth  to  an  end , 

No  hand  applaud  what  honor  shuns  to  hear. 

Who  casts  off  shame  should  likewise  cast  off  fear. 

Grief  haunts  us  down  the  precipice  of  years. 

Virtue  alone  no  dissolution  fears ; 

Time  loosely  spent  will  not  again  be  won. 

What  shall  I  do  to  be  forever  known  ? 

But  now  the  wane  of  life  comes  darkly  on, 
AJter  a  thousand  mazes  overgone  ; 
In  this  brief  state  of  trouble  and  unrest, 
Man  never  is,  but  always  to  be  blest ; 


Chatter  ton. 

Rogers. 

CJias.  Sprague. 

R.  H.  Dana. 

Ben  Jonson. 

Falconer. 

Coivper. 

Ferguson. 

Quarles. 

Burns. 

Tennyson. 

Beattie. 

Dry  den. 

Byron. 

Pom/ret. 

Waller. 

Hood. 

Steele. 

T.  Dwight. 

Herbert. 

Dunbar. 

Geff.  Whitney. 

Rowe. 

Langhorne. 

Congreve. 

Johnson. 

Goldsmith. 

Drayton. 

Webster. 

Southwell. 

Thomson. 

Knowles. 

W.  S.  Landor. 

Edward  Moore. 

Robert  Greene. 

Cowley. 

y.  Baillie. 

Keats. 

B.  Barton. 

Alex.  Pope. 


748 


HANDY-BOdK  OF 

Thine  is  the  present  hour,  the  past  is  fled, 
O  thou  Futurity,  our  hope  and  dread  ; 
How  fading  are  the  joys  we  dote  upon  j 
Lo  !  while  1  speak  the  present  moment's  gone. 

O  thou  Eternal  Arbiter  of  things, 
How  awful  is  the  hour  when  conscience  stings, 
Conscience,  stern  arbiter  in  every  breast. 
The  fluttering  wish  on  wing  that  will  not  rest  I 

This  above  all— To  thine  own  self  be  true. 
Learn  to  live  well,  that  thou  may'st  die  so  too. 
To  those  that  list  the  world's  gay  scenes  I  leave  ; 
Some  ills  we  wish  for,  when  we  wish  to  live. 

Notes  and  Queries. 

The  Fate  of  the  Glorious  Devil. 

A  glorious  devil,  large  in  heart  and  brain,  Tennyson. 

Doomed  for  a  certain  term  to  walk  the  night,  Shakespeare. 

The  world  forsaking  with  a  calm  disdain,  Thomson. 

Majestic  rises  on  the  astonished  sight. 


Marsden. 

Eliot. 

Blair. 

Oldham. 

Akenside. 

Percival. 

Hillhouse. 

Mallett. 

Shakespeare. 

y.  Denham. 

Spencer. 

Young. 


Taite. 


Type  of  the  wise  who  soar,  but  never  roam, — 
Mark  how  it  mounts  to  man's  imperial  race ! 

High  is  his  perch,  but  humble  is  his  home. 
Fast  anchored  in  the  deep  abyss  of  space. 

And  oft  the  craggy  cliff  he  loved  to  climb, 
Where  Punch  and  Scaramouch  aloft  are  seen. 

Where  Science  mounts  in  radiant  car  sublime. 
And  twilight  fairies  tread  the  circled  green. 

And,  borne  aloft  by  the  sustaining  blast. 

Whom  no  man  fully  sees,  and  none  can  see, 

'Wildered  and  weary,  sits  him  down  at  last. 
Beneath  the  shelter  of  an  aged  tree. 

I  will  not  stop  to  tell  how  far  he  fled. 

To  view  the  smile  of  evening  on  the  sea  ; 

He  tried  to  smile,  and,  half  succeeding,  said, 
"  I  smell  a  loUer  in  the  wind,"  said  he. 


Wordsworth. 

Pope. 

Grahame. 

Cotvper. 

Beat  tie. 

Rogers. 

Hemans. 

Collins. 

Longfellow. 

Prior. 

Beattie. 

Burns. 

Wordsworth. 

Hemans. 

Crabbe. 

Chaucer. 


"  What  if  the  lion  in  his  rage  I  meet?"  Collins. 

(The  Muse  interprets  thus  his  tender  thought.)  Beattie. 

The  scourge  of  Heaven  !  what  terrors  round  him  wait  I  Gray. 

From  planet  whirled  to  planet  more  remote.  Campbell. 

Thence  higher  still,  by  countless  steps  conveyed,  Bloomfield. 

Remote  from  towns  he  ran  his  godly  race  ;  Goldsmith. 

He  lectured  every  youth  that  round  him  played—  Rogers. 

The  jostling  tears  ran  down  his  honest  face.  Burns. 

"  Another  spring  !"  his  heart  exulting  cries.  Bloomfield. 

Vain  are  his  weapons,  vainer  is  his  force ;  Byron. 

A  milk-white  lion  of  tremendous  size  Falconer. 

Lays  him  along  the  snows  a  stiffened  corpse.  Thomson. 


The  hay-cock  rises,  and  the  frequent  rake 

Looks  on  the  bleeding  foe  that  made  him  bleed ; 

And  the  green  lizard  and  the  golden  snake 
Pause  at  the  bold  irrevocable  deed. 


yoanna  Bail  lie. 

Byron. 

Shelley. 

Euripides, 

Beattie. 

Hemans. 

Shakespeare. 

H.  Smith. 


Will  ye  one  transient  ray  of  gladness  dart. 

To  bid  the  genial  tear  of  pity  flow  ? 
By  Heaven  !  1  would  rather  coin  my  heart. 

Or  Mr.  Miller's,  commonly  called  Joe  ! 

People's  Friend,  May,  1871. 

These  are  about  the  best  of  their  sort.  It  will  be  seen,  however,  that  even 
the  best  are  poor  enough.  If  you  want  to  make  sense  out  of  them  you  have 
to  make-believe  a  good  deal.  Wherefore  Laman  Blanchard  did  a  good  work 
in  burlesquing  the  art  in  a  series  of   mosaic  pieces  published  in  George 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  749 

Cruikshank's  "  Omnibus,"  which  made  no  pretence  to  be  be  anything  save 
nonsense.  Mr.  Blanchard  feigned  that  he  found  these  poems  among  the 
manuscripts  of  one  of  Sir  Fretful  Plagiary's  numerous  descendants.  He 
thinl<s  that  if  any  reader  should  be  reminded  of  poets  past  and  present  it 
can  only  be  because  the  profusely-gifted  bard  has  clustered  together  more 
remarkable  and  memorable  lines  than  any  of  his  predecessors.  "That 
poem,"  Mr.  Blanchard  goes  on  to  say,  "  can  be  of  no  inferior  order  of  merit, 
in  which  Milton  would  have  been  proud  to  have  written  one  line,  Pope  would 
have  been  equally  vain  of  the  authorship  of  a  second,  Byron  have  rejoiced  in 
a  third,  Campbell  gloried  in  a  fourth,  Gray  in  a  fifth,  Cowper  in  a  sixth,  and 
so  on  to  the  end  of  the  Ode  ;  which  thus  realizes  the  poetical  wealth  of  that 
well-known  line  of  Sir  Fretful's, — 

'  Infinite  riches  in  a  little  room.'  " 

A  couple  of  specimens  will  suffice.  They  are  far  more  amusing  than  the 
genuine  article ;  but,  after  all,  that  is  no  very  great  praise. 

On  Life,  et  cetera. 

Know,then,  this  truth,  enough  for  man  to  know : 
Be  thou  as  chaste  as  ice,  as  pure  as  snow ; 
Who  would  be  free,  themselves  must  strike  the  blow. 
Retreating  lightly  with  a  lowly  fear 
From  grave  to  gay,  from  lively  to  severe. 
To  err  is  human,  to  forgive  divine, 
And  wretches  hang  that  jurymen  may  dine 
Like  quills  upon  the  fretful  porcupine. 
All  are  but  parts  of  one  stupendous  whole. 
The  feast  of  reason  and  the  flow  of  soul. 
****** 
We  ne'er  shall  look  upon  his  like  again, 
For  panting  time  toils  after  him  in  vain, 
And  drags,  at  each  remove,  a  lengthening  chain. 
Allures  to  brighter  worlds,  and  leads  the  way 
With  sweet,  reluctant,  amorous  delay  ! 

Whatever  is,  is  Right. 

Lives  there  a  man  with  soul  so  dead. 
Who  never  to  himself  has  said, 

"  Shoot  folly  as  it  flies"? 
Oh,  more  than  tears  of  blood  can  tell 
Are  in  that  word,  farewell,  farewell  I 

'Tis  folly  to  be  wise. 

And  what  is  friendship  but  a  name, 
That  boils  on  Etna's  breast  of  flame? 

Thus  runs  the  world  away. 
Sweet  is  the  ship  that's  under  sail 
To  where  yon  taper  cheers  the  vale 

With  hospitable  ray  ! 

Drink  to  me  only  with  thine  eyes 
Through  cloudless  climes  and  starry  skies; 

My  native  land,  good-night ! 
Adieu,  adieu,  my  native  shore ; 
'Tis  Greece,  but  living  Greece  no  more — 

Whatever  is,  is  right ! 

Mossbacks,  a  sobriquet  for  the  old-liners  and  fossils  in  the  Democratic 
party,  most  common  in  Ohio,  but  also  used  in  other  parts  of  the  country. 
They  are  supposed  to  be  the  remnants  of  the  ante-bellum  Democracy.  The 
derivation  is  from  an  old  snapping-turtle,  in  the  popular  vernacular  called 
a  "  niossback,"  because  of  the  covering  of  its  shell  by  a  growth  of  moss-like 
aquatic  vegetation,  induced  by  its  sluggish  habits  and  long  living  in  stagnant 
water. 

63* 


7SO  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Mote  and  the  beam.  One  of  the  most  impressive  lessons  of  charity  and 
forbearance  is  contained  in  the  Sermon  on  the  Mount :  "  Why  beholdest  thou 
the  mote  that  is  in  thy  brother's  eye,  but  considerest  not  the  beam  that  is  in 
thine  own  eye  ?" 

This  ancient  saying  finds  its  analogues  in  the  proverbs  of  all  nations.  We 
say  in  English,  "  The  pot  calls  the  kettle  black,"  or  "  The  kiln  calls  the  oven 
'burnt  house;'"  the  Italians  say,  "The  pan  says  to  the  pot,  'Keep  off,  or 
you'll  smutch  me;'"  the  French,  "The  shovel  makes  game  of  the  poker," 
or  "  Dirty-nosed  folk  always  want  to  wipe  other  folks'  noses ;"  the  German, 
"  One  ass  nicknames  another  Long-ears ;"  the  Spanish,  "  The  raven  said  to 
the  crow,  '  Avaunt,  blackamoor  !'"  the  Scotch,  "'God  help  the  fool!'  said 
the  idiot,"  or  " '  Crooked  carlin  !'  quoth  the  cripple  to  his  wife."  In  America, 
as  indeed  elsewhere,  negroes  have  no  worse  reproach  for  each  other  than 
"damn  niggers."  The  Arabs  have  an  apologue,  "  A  harlot  repented  for  one 
night.  '  Is  there  no  police-officer,'  she  said,  '  to  take  up  harlots  ?'  "  "  If  thou 
canst  not  make  thyself  such  an  one  as  thou  wouldst,"  says  the  "  Imitation  of 
Christ,"  "how  canst  thou  expect  to  have  another  in  all  things  to  thy  liking? 
We  would  willingly  have  others  perfect,  and  yet  we  amend  not  our  own  faults. 
We  would  have  others  severely  corrected,  and  will  not  be  corrected  ourselves. 
The  large  liberty  of  others  displeaseth  us,  and  yet  we  will  not  have  our  own 
desires  denied  us.  We  will  have  others  kept  under  by  strict  laws,  but  in  no 
sort  will  ourselves  be  restrained.  And  thus  it  appeareth  how  seldom  we 
weigh  our  neighbor  in  the  same  balance  with  ourselves."  An  apologue  from 
Phasdrus  is  thus  paraphrased  by  Bulwer  : 

From  our  necks,  when  life's  journey  begins. 

Two  sacks  Jove  the  Father  suspends. 
The  one  holds  our  own  proper  sins, 

The  other  the  sins  of  our  friends  : 

The  first,  man  immediately  throws 

Out  of  sight,  out  of  mind,  at  his  back ; 
The  last  is  so  under  his  nose. 

He  sees  every  grain  in  the  sack. 

The  same  metaphor,  though  not  with  the  same  application,  is  used,  in  part 
at  least,  by  Shakespeare  : 

Time  hath,  my  lord,  a  wallet  at  his  back. 

Wherein  he  puts  alms  for  oblivion, 

A  great-sized  monster  of  ingratitudes ; 

These  scraps  are  good  deeds  past ;  which  are  devoured 

As  fast  as  they  are  made,  forgot  as  soon 

As  done. 

Troilus  and  Cressida,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  3. 

Mother  of  Presidents,  a  popular  name  for  Virginia,  from  the  great 
number  among  the  earlier  Presidents  who  were  natives  of  that  State.  Since 
the  civil  war  the  term  has  lost  much  of  its  currency.  The  following  Presidents 
were  natives  of  Virginia  :  Washington,  born  in  Westmoreland  County,  1732  ; 
Jefferson,  Albemarle  County,  1743;  Madison,  King  George  County,  1751  ; 
Monroe,  Westmoreland  County,  1758  ;  Harrison,  Charles  City  County,  1773  ; 
Tyler,  Charles  City  County,  1790;  Taylor,  Orange  County,  1784. 

Mother  of  States.  Virginia  was  so  called  from  the  great  number  of 
States  which  were  carved  out  of  the  territory  originally  included  under  the 
name  Virginia,  and  also  as  being  the  first  settled  and  oldest  of  the  original 
thirteen  States  of  the  Union.  The  States  created  out  of  what  was  once 
Virginian  territory  are  Kentucky,  Ohio,  Indiana,  and  Illinois.  During  the 
civil  war   the   northwestern   portion  of  the   seceded  State,  which   portion 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  751 

remained  loyal  to  the  Union,  was  separated  from  Virginia,  and  admitted  into 
the  Union  as  a  separate  State,  under  the  name  of  West  Virginia. 

Mould,  Broken.  The  idea  that  Nature  broke  the  perfect  mould  after 
turning  out  a  single  splendid  example  is  a  favorite  one  in  literature.  In 
English  we  are  most  familiar  with  Byron's  version  : 

Sighing  that  Nature  formed  but  one  such  man. 
And  broke  the  die  in  moulding  Sheridan. 

Monody  on  the  Death  of  Sheridan,  \.  22. 

Ariosto,  in  "Orlando  Furioso,"  Canto  x.,  Stanza  84,  says,  "Nature  made  him, 
and  then  broke  the  n«ould"  <"  Natura  il  fece,  e  poi  ruppe  la  stampa").  But 
the  earliest  instance  yet  found  occurs  in  an  ancient  Indian  poem,  "  Legend  of 
Rajapootana,"  the  lines  being  thus  translated  by  a  correspondent  of  i(Vtf/^j  ^W 
Queries,  fifth  series,  i.  105  : 

None  other  in  the  world  has  been  formed  in  the  mould  in  which  Mam  was  cast ; 

Either  the  mould  was  broken,  or  the  workman  has  been  unable  to  make  another. 

Mountciin,  The,  an  epithet  first  derisively  bestowed  by  the  Girondists 
upon  the  Jacobins  or  extreme  republicans  in  the  French  National  Convention, 
from  the  fact  that  they  occupied  the  rearmost  and  highest  benches  in  the 
Assembly  Chamber.  The  Mountain  retorted  by  calling  their  opponents  the 
Plain  :  a  translation  which  would  convey  the  meaning  more  accurately  would 
be  "  the  Flats." 

Mountain  in  labor  bringing  forth  a  mouse,  a  phrase  often  used  simply 
in  the  form  of  "  a  mountain  in  labor,"  the  rest  being  understood,  to  represent 
a  tremendous  effort  made  with  absurdly  small  result.  Its  immediate  origin 
is  the  line  of  Horace,  "  Parturiunt  montes,  nascetur  ridiculus  mus"  ("The 
mountains  are  in  labor :  a  ridiculous  mouse  will  be  born"),  but  that  in  its  turn 
is  a  reference  to  ^sop's  fable  of  the  mountain  which  emitted  subterranean 
sounds  that  led  to  the  belief  that  it  was  in  labor.  An  immense  crowd  collected, 
but  nothing  emerged  save  a  mouse. 

Mountain  Meadovy  Massacre,  a  butchery  of  a  party  of  immigrants, 
known  as  the  "  Arkansas  Company,"  in  September,  1857,  by  Indians  under 
the  leadership  of  certain  Mormon  "bishops"  and  leading  "saints,"  and,  as 
suspected,  under  the  inspiration  and  with  the  connivance  of  Brigham  Young, 
the  head  of  the  church  himself,  if  not  indeed  by  his  direct  orders.  The 
ostensible  motive  for  the  crime  was  retaliation  for  acts  of  violence  alleged  to 
have  been  committed  by  other  immigrant  i)arties  upon  Mormon  settlers.  A 
Mormon  named  Laney,  who  had  befriended  the  "  Arkansas  Company,"  to 
the  extent  of  giving  food  to  two  of  them,  was  murdered  by  a  Mormon  "angel 
of  death."  The  immigrant  party,  finding  themselves  surrounded  and  attacked 
by  the  Indians  and  their  Mormon  instigators,  hastily  made  a  barricade  of 
their  wagons  and  threw  up  breastworks,  from  behind  which  they  defended 
themselves.  After  several  of  their  number  had  been  killed  and  many 
wounded,  and  after  a  parley  with  the  Mormons  in  the  attacking  party,  the 
immigrants,  under  promise  of  cessation  of  further  molestation,  were  induced 
to  break  up  their  camp  and  move  to  another  point  by  a  road  which  was 
indicated  to  them.  On  this  road  Mormon  treachery  had  planned  and  pre- 
pared an  ambuscade,  and,  the  open  and  defenceless  column  being  taken  by 
surprise,  the  whole  party  was  massacred,  men,  women,  and  children.  The 
party  of  Federal  soldiery  who  found  the  bones  decently  buried  them,  one  of 
their  number  rudely  carving  upon  one  of  the  stones  heaped  over  the  spot  an 
inscription  in  the  words,  "  Vengeance  is  mine  !  I  will  repay,  saith  the  Lord." 

Mourning  Colors.     Besides  black,  the  following  are  used  as  a  sign  of 


752  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

grief  for  the  dead.  Black  and  white  striped,  to  express  sorrow  and  hope, 
among  the  South  Sea  Islanders.  Grayish  brown,  the  color  of  the  earth  to 
which  the  dead  return,  in  Ethiopia.  Pale  brown,  the  color  of  withered  leaves, 
is  the  mourning  of  Persia.  Sky-blue,  to  express  the  assured  hope  that  the 
deceased  has  gone  to  heaven,  is  the  mourning  of  Syria,  Cappadocia,  and 
Armenia.  Deep  blue  in  Bokhara.  Purple  and  violet,  to  express  "Kings 
and  Queens  to  God,"  is  the  color  of  mourning  for  cardinals  and  kings  of 
France.  The  color  of  mourning  in  Turkey  is  violet.  White  (emblem  of 
hope),  the  color  of  mourning  in  China.  Henry  VIII.  wore  white  for  Anne 
Boleyn.  The  ladies  of  ancient  Rome  and  Sparta  wore  white.  It  was  the 
color  of  mourning  in  Spain  till  1498.  Yellow  (the  sere,  the  yellow  leaf),  the 
color  of  mourning  in  Egypt  and  in  Burmab.  Anne  Boleyn  wore  yellow 
mourning  for  Catherine  of  Aragon. 

Moutardier  du  Pape.  A  Frenchman  frequently  says  of  a  conceited 
person,  "  II  se  croit  le  moutardier  du  pape"  ("  He  thinks  himself  the  pope's 
mustard-maker").  The  phrase  is  said  to  have  arisen  in  the  fourteenth  cen- 
tury at  the  court  of  Pope  John  XXII.  at  Avignon.  A  sybarite  both  in 
his  tastes  and  his  appetites,  he  made  the  famous  Palais  des  Papes  in  the 
Comtat  Venaissin  the  seat  of  unparalleled  splendor,  invoking  the  aid  of  ex- 
perts of  all  sorts,  among  others  the  most  renowned  cooks.  Their  use  of 
mustard  was  especially  grateful  to  his  Holiness.  This  consisted  in  sprink- 
ling dishes  of  meat  with  powdered  mustard,  and  mixing  mustard  with  the 
sauces.  To  insure  perfection  the  pope  created  a  special  office,  that  of  mou- 
tardier, at  his  court,  conferring  it  on  a  favorite  nephew.  The  latter's  vanity 
was  so  absurdly  tickled  by  his  not  over-dignified  title  and  position  that  he  be- 
came the  object  of  constant  pleasantries.  The  \>\\X2i-iQ  MoutardUr  du  Pape 
was  handed  down  to  posterity,  and,  oddly  enough,  it  is  recorded  that  Clement 
XIV.  applied  it  to  himself  when  Cardinal  de  Berenice  called  to  congratulate 
him  on  his  elevation.  Clement  had  been  a  simple  monk.  "  I  am  sighing  for 
my  cloister,  cell,  and  books,"  he  said  to  the  cardinal  :  "you  must  not  run 
away  with  the  impression  that  I  think  myself  the  Moutardier  du  Pape." 

Mud,  To  thro-w,  or  sling,  in  American  political  slang,  is  to  bespatter  an 
adversary  with  abuse  or  calumny.  A  mud-slinger  is  one  who  deals  in  this 
sort  of  warfare.  Archbishop  Whately's  saying,  "  If  you  only  throw  dirt 
enough,  some  of  it  is  sure  to  stick,"  is  frequently  quoted  in  America  with 
"mud"  substituted  for  "dirt."  Beaumarchais,  in  "The  Barber  of  Seville," 
says,  "  Calomniez,  calomniez,  il  en  reste  toujours  quelque  chose"  ("Calumni- 
ate, calumniate,  something  will  always  remain  behind").  Both  expressions 
are  avatars  of  the  phrase  used  by  Bacon  in  "  De  Augment.  Scient.,"  section 
8,  2,  "Audacter  calumniare,  semper  aliquid  haeret"  ("Calumniate  boldly, 
some  of  it  will  always  remain").  But  Bacon  may  only  have  been  quoting  a 
familiar  saying,  for  the  identical  words  are  found  in  Manlius's  "Collectanea" 
(1563)  and  Kaspar  Peucer's  "  Historia  Carcerum"  (1605),  both  quotations 
relating  to  one  Midias  (Medius  ?),  a  w.ell-known  calumniator,  who  was  fond  of 
quoting  the  saw. 

Mugwump,  a  corruption  of  the  Algonquin  Mugquomp,  meaning  "great 
man,"  "  leader,"  "  chief,"  an  American  nickname  applied  to  the  independent 
voters  and  thinkers  who  hold  themselves  superior  to  party  trammels.  An  alter- 
native sobriquet  \s  furnished  by  the  con\\>onn<l  dude-and-pharisee.  The  word 
Mugwump  made  its  first  literary  appearance  in  John  Eliot's  translation  of  the 
Bible  into  Indian  (Cambridge,  Massachusetts,  1661).  It  may  be  found  there 
several  times  in  Genesis  xxxvi.,  where  the  English  word,  a  very  silly  one,  is  duke, 
and  the  Hebrew  alhiph,  a  "leader."     There  is  an  apocryphal  story,  invented 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  753 

probably  by  some  anti-Mugwump,  that  a  Jesuit  minister,  translating  the  New 
Testament,  and  being  at  a  loss  for  a  rendering  of  "  not  to  think  more  highly 
of  himself  than  he  ought  to  think,"  referred  to  an  Indian  convert.  "Oh," 
promptly  returned  the  Indian,  "  that's  Mugquomp."  The  term  lingered  in 
New  England  and  portions  of  the  West  after  the  Indians  had  melted  away, 
and  became  colloquial  for  a  man  of  consequence,  or,  rather,  one  who  deemed 
himself  so.  In  this  sense  it  occasionally  crept  into  print.  Thus,  in  1840,  during 
the  Tippecanoe  campaign,  the  Great  Weste^-n,  of  Lake  County,  Indiana,  edited 
by  Solon  Robinson,  said,  "Then  the  great  Mugwump  was  delivered  of  a 
speech,  which  the  faithful  loudly  applauded."  In  1865,  Hiram  Atkins,  of  the 
Argiis  and  Patriot,  Montpelier,  Vermont,  spoke  of  "  Uncie  Nat  Eaton,  for- 
merly of  Calais,  but  now  Mugwump  No.  2,  of  Middlesex."  In  1872,  Henry 
F.  Keenan,  of  the  Indianapolis  Sentinel,  used  the  word  in  a  head-line,  and  in 
1S84  the  New  York  Stm  did  the  same,  applying  it  to  one  D.  O.  Bradley,  of 
Tarrytown.  But  it  was  not  till  the  Blaine-Cleveland  campaign  that  Mugwump 
in  its  present  acceptation  passed  into  current  speech.  James  G.  Blaine  was 
nominated  for  the  Presidency  by  the  Republican  convention  on  June  6,  1884. 
A  strong  opposition  at  once  developed  itself  in  the  party,  and  the  very  next 
day  an  "Independent  Republican"  movement  originated  at  a  meeting  in  Bos- 
ton, which  was  promptly  taken  up  in  New  York  and  elsewhere.  The  sup- 
porters of  the  regular  nomination  complained  that  these  Independents  set 
themselves  up  as  the  superiors  of  their  former  associates,  and  when,  on  June 
15,  the  New  York  Sun  characterized  them  as  Mugwumps,  the  term  was  glee- 
fully caught  up  and  adopted,  and  has  ever  since  characterized  the  men  and 
the  methods  of  the  Independent  movement.  General  Horace  Porter's  defini- 
tion, "  A  Mugwump  is  a  person  educated  above  his  intellect,"  is  in  great  vogue 
among  anti-Mugwumps. 

Mule,  Here's  your,  a  cant  phrase  popular  among  the  Confederates  during 
the  civil  war.  There  are  several  stories  as  to  its  origin.  The  best  authenti- 
cated is  that  in  the  fall  of  1861,  just  after  the  battle  of  Bull  Run,  a  countryman 
came  one  day  into  Beauregard's  camp  at  Centreville  in  search  of  a  stray  mule. 
Some  of  the  boys  swore  they  had  seen  the  mule  in  the  camp  of  another  divis- 
ion, a  half-mile  distant,  but  hardly  had  the  old  man  started  when  they  shouted, 
"Come  back,  mister;  here's  your  mule!"  He  turned  to  retrace  his  steps. 
Immediately  the  other  camp,  knowing  only  that  some  fun  was  in  the  air,  took 
up  the  cry,  "  Mister,  they  'uns  lying  to  you  'uns  ;  we  'uns  hev  got  you  'uns 
mule," — a  travesty  on  the  dialect  of  the  troops  from  the  mountainous  regions 
of  North  Carolina.  As  he  turned  in  the  direction  of  this  last  call,  he  was 
hailed  from  still  another  command,  "  No,  they  haven't  Here's  your  mule  !" 
And  so  the  whole  army  joined  in,  and  had  the  poor  bewildered  countryman 
changing  his  course,  as  the  cry  came  from  quarter  to  quarter,  "  Here's  your 
mule."  The  phrase  caught  on  after  the  story  itself  was  forgotten.  Soldiers  are 
always  ready  for  a  joke,  and  none  more  so  than  those  who  dubbed  themselves 
"Lee's  Miserables."  During  their  long,  weary  marches,  if  they  chanced  to 
encounter  part  of  a  wagon-train,  the  front  ranks,  glad  of  anything  to  relieve 
the  monotony,  would  often  break  into  the  shout  of  "  Here's  your  mule  1"  which 
would  be  taken  up  by  the  whole  column.  At  the  battle  of  Missionary  Ridge, 
when  the  Confederates  broke,  and  Hood,  rushing  among  them,  cried,  "  Here's 
your  commander  !"  he  was  answered  with  the  derisive  shout,  "  Here's  your 
mule  !"  One  circumstance  that  helped  to  increase  the  popularity  of  the 
phrase  was  that  it  formed  the  refrain  of  a  parody  on  Randall's  song,  "  My 
Maryland,"  satirizing  the  supposed  disposition  of  the  Maryland  refugees  to 
seek  "shade"  offices  rather  than  field-duty. 

Mulligan  Letters,  certain  letters  written  by  Mr.  James  G.  Blaine  to  Mr. 


754  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Warren  Fisher,  of  Boston,  which  were  industriously  circulated  by  his  oppo- 
nents in  the  Presidential  campaign  of  1884.  Mr.  Mulligan,  the  book-keeper 
of  Mr.  Fisher,  had  been  summoned  during  the  session  of  1876  before  the 
Congressional  investigation  committee  charged  with  the  inquiry  into  alleged 
corrupt  practices  of  Mr.  Blaine  in  procuring  legislation  favorable  to  the  Little 
Rock  and  Fort  Smith  Railroad.  The  letters  then  in  evidence  Mr.  Blaine 
had  got  possession  of,  and  read  in  the  House,  with  an  explanatory  statement. 
Owing  to  his  prostration  by  a  sunstroke,  the  investigation  was  dropped. 
When  Mr.  Blaine,  in  1884,  became  a  candidate  for  the  Presidency,  another 
series  of  letters  was  produced  by  Mr.  Mulligan,  and  it  was  these  latter  princi- 
pally which  figured  largely  in  the  campaign.  The  friends  of  the  statesman 
stoutly  maintained  that  there  was  nothing  in  them  which  implicated  their 
candidate,  but  his  enemies  as  vociferously  cited  them  as  incontrovertible 
evidence  of  guilt.  The  contention  of  the  former  may  have  been  correct. 
Many,  however,  of  the  sentences,  read  apart  from  their  context,  with  the 
frequent  injunctions  to  "  Burn  this  letter,"  have  a  doubtful  sound,  and  these, 
in  that  hot  and  well-contested  struggle,  were  taken  up  as  eflfective  party-cries 
by  Democrats  and  Mugwumps. 

Mummy,  Beaten  to  a, — i.e.,  to  a  jelly.  A  correspondent  of  Notes  and 
Queries  makes  a  plausible  suggestion  as  to  the  origin  of  the  phrase  : 

Does  it  not  refer  to  the  medicinal  substance  formerly  known  as  mummy,  which  kept  its 
place  in  our  dispensatories  until  pretty  late  in  the  last  century?  It  was  variously  composed, 
and  not  always  of  the  same  consistence,  but  its  general  appearance  would  probably  resemble 
that  of  soft  pitch.  I  speak  now  of  the  spurious  kinds,  which  were  doubtless  most  common. 
Even  the  genuine  sorts  were  not,  however,  necessarily  Egyptian.  Penicher,  in  his  "  Traite 
des  Embaumemens"  (Paris,  1699),  gives  directions  for  the  composition  of  mummy  from 
human  flesh  expressly  for  medicinal  purposes.  He  recommends  certain  parts  only  of  the 
body  to  be  used,  and  these  to  be  dried,  macerated,  and  spiced  out  of  all  likeness  to  their 
natural  condition.  Mummy  so  prepared  entered  into  a  great  variety  of  balms  and  other 
medicants,  for  which  Penicher  in  his  concluding  chapter  gives  recipes  from  old  writers.  Some 
of  these  have  the  consistence  of  oil,  others  that  of  an  ointment.  It  is  clear,  from  the  refer- 
ences in  Nares,  that  in  our  own  country  mummy  and  its  preparations  were  well  known,  and 
from  the  '  make  mummy  of  my  flesh,'  which  Nares  quotes  from  an  old  play,  to  '  beaten  to  a 
mummy,'  is  a  natural  and  an  easy  step." 

Murder,  Elilling  no.  "  He  who  kills  one  man  is  accounted  a  murderer ; 
he  who  kills  a  thousand,  a  hero,"  is  a  common  saying,  evidently  a  reminiscence 
of  St.  Cyprian, — "  Homicidium  cum  admittunt  singuli  crimen  est,  virtus 
vocatur  cum  publice  geritur"  {.RpisL  Donate,  lib.  ii.  ep.  ii.).  The  same  thought 
recurs  in  Bishop  Forteus's  "  Poem  on  Death  :" 

One  murder  makes  a  villain. 
Millions  a  hero.     Princes  were  privileged 
To  kill,  and  numbers  sanctified  the  crime  ; 
and  Young's  lines  perhaps  deserve  a  place  under  this  heading : 
One  to  destroy  is  murder  by  the  law, 
And  gibbets  keep  the  lifted  hand  in  awe  ; 
To  murder  thousands  takes  a  specious  name, 
War's  glorious  art,  and  gives  immortal  fame. 

Love  0/  Fame,  Satire  vii. 

Every  American  school-boy  is  familiar  with  the  collocation  on  this  topic 
between  a  father  and  son  in  "The  Volunteers." 

"  Killing  No  Murder"  is  the  title  of  a  famous  tract  recommending  the 
assassination  of  Cromwell.  It  is  in  the  "  Harleian  Miscellany,"  and  is 
ascribed  to  Colonel  Silas  Titus,  to  one  Sexby,  and  others. 

Murder  ■wrill  out.  This  phrase  is  used  by  Cervantes  in  "  Don  Quixote," 
Part  I.,  Book  iii.,  ch.  viii.,  and  also  by  Chaucer  : 

Mordre  wol  out,  that  see  we  day  by  day. 

Nonntt  Prttstes  Tale,  \.  15058. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  755 

Shakespeare  embodies  the  same  thought  in  these  words  : 

Murder,  though  it  have  no  tongue,  will  speak 
With  most  miraculous  organ. 

Hamlet,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  2. 

But  the  idea  is  almost  as  ancient  as  the  race.  The  Greeks  had  a  proverbial 
expression,  "  The  cranes  of  Ibycus,"  which  was  used  in  much  the  same  sense. 
Ibycus,  a  famous  lyrical  poet  of  Greece,  journeying  to  Corinth,  was  assailed  by 
robbers.  As  he  fell  beneath  their  murderous  strokes  he  looked  round  to  see 
if  any  witnesses  or  avengers  were  nigh.  No  living  thing  was  in  sight  but  a 
flight  of  cranes  soaring  high  overhead.  He  called  on  them,  and  to  them 
committed  the  avenging  of  his  blood.  A  vain  commission,  as  it  might  have 
appeared,  and  as  no  doubt  it  did  to  the  murderers  appear.  Yet  it  was  not 
so ;  for  these,  sitting  a  little  time  after  in  the  open  theatre  at  Corinth,  beheld 
this  flight  of  cranes  hovering  above  them,  and  one  said  scoffingly  to  another, 
"  Lo,  there,  the  avengers  of  Ibycus  I"  The  words  were  caught  up  by  some 
near  them  ;  for  already  the  poet's  disappearance  had  awakened  anxiety  and 
alarm.  Being  questioned,  they  betrayed  themselves,  and  were  led  to  their 
doom  ;  and  The  crams  of  Ibycus  passed  into  a  proverb. 

The  notion  was  once  seriously  held  throughout  Europe  that  the  corpse  of 
a  murdered  man  would  bleed  at  touch  of  the  murderer.  King  James  I.  in 
his  "  Demonologie"  expressly  affirms  this  :  "  In  a  secret  murther  if  the  dead 
carkasse  bee  at  any  time  thereafter  handled  by  the  murtherer  it  will  gush  out 
blood ;  as  if  the  blood  were  crying  to  heaven  for  revenge  of  the  murtherer, 
God  having  appointed  that  secret  supernatural  trial  of  the  secret  unnatural 
crime." 

An  instance  tending  to  confirm  this  opinion  is  said  to  have  occurred  in  the 
reign  of  Charles  I.,  when  the  minister  of  a  parish  testified  that  the  body  of  a 
woman  suspected  to  have  been  murdered  was  taken  out  of  the  grave  thirty 
days  after  her  death  and  laid  on  the  grass.  The  prosecution  in  this  case 
was  at  the  instance  of  a  son  of  the  deceased  against  his  own  father,  grand- 
father, uncle,  and  aunt ;  and  these  four  defendants,  being  required,  touched 
each  of  them  the  dead  body,  whereupon,  says  the  narrative,  the  brow  of  the 
defunct,  which  was  before  of  a  livid  and  carrion  color,  began  to  have  a  dew 
or  sweat  arise  on  it,  which  increased  by  degrees  till  the  sweat  ran  down  in 
drops  on  the  face ;  the  brow  turned  to  a  lively  and  fresh  color,  and  the  de- 
ceased opened  one  of  her  eyes  and  shut  it  again  three  several  times ;  she 
likewise  thrust  out  the  ring-  or  marriage-finger  three  several  times,  and  pulled 
it  in  again,  and  the  finger  dropped  blood  on  the  grass.  Three  of  the  four 
accused  were  convicted  of  the  murder. 

On  some  occasions  the  mere  presence  of  the  guilty  person,  even  without 
his  coming  in  contact  with  the  deceased,  was  thought  sufficient  as  a  test ;  nor 
was  it  necessary  that  life  should  have  been  taken  away  by  actual  violence  to 
constitute  the  crime.  Janet  Randall,  it  is  related,  was  sent  for  by  a  man  who 
imagined  she  had  bewitched  him,  but  he  expired  before  her  arrival.  He  had, 
however,  "  laid  his  death  on  her  ;"  and  "  how  soon  as  she  came  in,  the  corpse 
having  lain  a  good  space,  and  not  having  bled  any,  immediately  bled  much 
blood,  as  a  sure  token  that  she  was  the  author  of  his  death." 

It  is  not  improbable  that  the  origin  of  this  superstition  may  be  sought  in 
the  misapplication  of  a  passage  of  Scripture, — "The  voice  of  thy  brother's 
blood  calleth  unto  me  from  the  ground."  So  vehement  were  the  prejudices 
of  our  progenitors,  that  little  further  evidence  of  guilt  was  demanded.  What, 
indeed,  could  equal  the  interposition  of  the  divine  decree  in  pointing  out  the 
offender  ?  Yet  the  truth  of  this  test  was  disputed  among  the  Continental 
lawyers,  who  recommended  that  the  body  of  the  deceased  should  be  presented 
before  the  suspected  murderer  in  chains,  to  discover  whether  he  should  mani- 


756  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

fest  any  agitation,  or  whetherthe  blood  flowed  from  it  before  him.  Scribonius 
advances  his  own  testimony  in  corroboration  of  the  success  of  this  test.  A 
nobleman  of  Aries,  whom  he  names,  had  been  mortally  wounded.  Blood 
burst  from  the  wound  and  from  the  nostrils  after  decease,  immediately  on 
approach  of  the  offender.  Hippolytus  of  Marseilles  declared  his  incredulity 
until  a  murder  was  committed  by  a  person  unknown  during  his  magistracy  of 
a  town  in  Italy.  He  directed  the  body  to  be  brought  to  him,  and  summoned 
the  attendance  of  all  suspected  persons.  The  wounds  began  to  bleed  on  the 
approach  of  the  real  murderer,  who  soon  after  confessed  the  fact.  Matthieus, 
however,  considers  the  test  so  fallacious  as  to  be  an  insufficient  reason  for 
putting  one  suspected  to  torture  for  eliciting  the  truth.  Carpzovius,  also, 
another  lawyer  of  repute,  relates  that  it  was  established,  from  proof  trans- 
mitted to  his  court,  that  a  corpse  had  bled  before  an  innocent  person,  though 
not  a  drop  of  blood  escaped  before  the  guilty.  Nevertheless  he  had  not  con- 
sidered the  bleeding  of  a  wound  or  of  the  nostrils  enough  to  warrant  the 
application  of  torture. 

Murdered  man.     Keats,  in  his  "  Isabella,  or  the  Pot  of  Basil,"  has  a 
daring  phrase  : 

Then  the  two  brothers  and  their  murdered  man 
Rode  into  Florence. 

The  man  had  not  yet  been  murdered,  but  this  anticipatory  glance  at  his  fate 
snatches  a  grace  beyond  the  reach  of  mere  logic.  The  same  cannot  be  said 
of  a  mistake  by  Lord  Macaulay, — a  mistake  all  the  more  remarkable  because 
it  echoes  one  made  by  Robert  Montgomery  in  a  passage  which  has  other 
points  of  similarity.  Montgomery  is  to-day  remembered  only  as  the  victim 
of  one  of  Macaulay 's  slashing  criticisms.  The  reviewer  has  this  in  his 
"  Battle  of  Lake  Regillus  :" 

And  louder  still  and  louder 

Rose  from  the  darkened  field 
The  braying  of  the  war-hom. 

The  clang  of  sword  and  shield. 
The  rush  of  squadrons  sweeping 

Like  whirlwinds  o'er  the  plain. 
The  shouting  of  the  slayers, 

And  screeching  of  the  slain. 

The  reviewed  had  already  written  thus  :  • 

Spirit  of  Light  and  Life  !     When  Battle  rears 
Her  fiery  brow  and  her  terrific  spears ; 
When  red-mouthed  cannon  to  the  clouds  uproar. 
And  gasping  thousands  make  their  bed  in  gore; 
While  on  the  billowy  bosom  of  the  air 
RoU  the  dread  notes  of  anguish  and  despair ; 
Unseen  Thou  walk'st  upon  the  smoking  plain. 
And  hear'st  each  groan  that  gurgles  from  the  slain. 

It  is  possible  that  the  subject  of  batUe  may  by  its  intensity  create  similarity 
of  description,  but  the  double  likeness  in  these  quotations  gives  the  inevitable 
inference  of  conscious  or  unconscious  imitation.  As  to  the  bull,  it  is  more 
vehement  in  Macaulay  than  in  Montgomery.  It  reminds  one  of  Dr.  Johnson, 
— though  he  meant  a  deliberate  conceit, — 

Nor  yet  perceived  the  vital  spirit  fled. 

But  still  fought  on,  nor  knew  that  he  was  dead, 
and  of  Dryden, — 

Soothed  with  the  sound,  the  king  grew  vain  ; 

Fought  all  his  battles  o'er  again  ; 
And  thrice  he  routed  all  his  foes,  and  thrice  he  slew  the  slain. 

Music  of  her  face.     In  "  The  Bride  of  Abydos"  Byron  thus  describes 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  757 

Zuleika  the  bride,  who  is  not  a  bride,  after  all,  save  in  the  paulo-post-future 
tense : 

Around  her  shone 
The  nameless  charms  unmark'd  by  her  alone  ; 
The  light  of  love,  the  purity  of  grace. 
The  mind,  the  music  breathing  from  her  face. 
The  heart  whose  softness  harmonized  the  whole, — 
And,  oh,  that  eye  was  in  itself  a  soul ! 

In  the  third  line  there  seems  to  be  a  reminiscence  of  Gray's  "the  purple 
light  of  love"  (Progress  of  Poesy).  The  figure  in  the  second  has  many  prede- 
cessors. Lucasta,  whom  Lovelace  celebrates  as  his  Eurydice  in  his  song 
of  "  Orpheus  to  Beasts,"  was  a  maiden  whose  charms  were  singularly  like 
Zuleika's : 

Oh,  could  you  view  the  melody 
Of  every  grace 
And  music  of  her  face. 
You'd  drop  a  tear. 
Seeing  more  harmony 
In  her  bright  eye 
Than  now  you  hear. 

Sir  Thomas  Browne  tells  us,  in  his  "  Religio  Medici,"  that  he  was  himself 
never  yet  once  married,  and  commends  their  resolution  who  never  marry 
twice.  Yet  he  is  naturally  amorous,  as  he  afterwards  confesses,  of  all  that  is 
fair : 

There  is  music  in  the  beauty,  and  the  silent  note  which  Cupid  strikes,  far  sweeter  than  the 
sound  of  an  instrument ;  for  there  is  music  wherever  there  is  harmony,  order,  or  proportion ; 
and  thus  far  we  may  maintain  the  music  of  the  spheres. — Religio  Medici,  Part  II.,  Sec.  9. 

Music  of  the  Spheres.     The  notion  of  the  starry  hosts  emitting  har- 
monies as  they  swing  through  space  is  as  old  almost  as  the  Patriarchs,  and 
its  origin  is  undoubtedly  Oriental,  probably  Sabaean.     "The  morning  stars 
sang  together,  and  all  the  sons  of  God  shouted  for  joy,"  we  read  in  Job 
xxxviii.  7.     The   Pythagoreans  imported  the  idea  into  the  Hellenic  world, 
and  according  to  their  philosophy  the  seven  "  wandering  stars" — i.e.,  the  five 
primary  planets  known  to  the  ancients.  Mercury,  Venus,  Mars,  Jupiter,  and 
Saturn,  and  the  Sun  and  Moon — were  each  attuned  to  a  note  in  the  harmonic 
scale  and  sounded  in  accord  as  they  moved  through  space.     Maximus  Tyrius, 
a  Hellenized  Syrian,  says  that  "  the  mere  proper  motion  of  the  planets  must 
create  sounds,  and  as  they  move  in   space  at  regular  intervals   the  sounds 
must  harmonize."     Shakespeare  gives  the  thought  exquisite  expression  : 
There's  not  the  smallest  orb  which  thou  behold' st. 
But  in  his  motion  like  an  angel  sings. 
Still  quiring  to  the  young-eyed  cherubims. 

Merchant  of  Venice,  Act  v.,  Sc.  i. 
Goethe's  archangels,  chanting  anthem-wise  about  The  Throne  of  the  glory 
of  God's  works,  open  his  great  drama  of  the  universe,  Gabriel  beginning, — 
The  sun-orb  sings,  in  emulation, 

'Mid  brother-spheres,  his  ancient  round  : 
His  path  predestined  through  Creation 
He  ends  with  step  of  thunder-sound. 

Faust :  Prologue  in  Heaven. 
The  following  is  Milton's  embodiment  of  the  fancy  : 
Ring  out,  ye  crystal  spheres. 
Once  bless  our  human  ears. 
If  ye  have  power  to  touch  our  senses  so  ; 
And  let  your  silver  chime 
Move  in  melodious  time, 
And  let  the  bass  of  heaven's  deep  organ  blow ; 
And  with  your  ninefold  harmony 
Make  up  full  concert  to  the  angelic  symphony. 

Ode  on  the  Nativity. 

64 


758  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Plato's  notion  is  that  a  siren  sits  on  each  planet,  who  carols  a  sweet  song, 
agreeing  to  the  motion  of  her  own  particular  star,  but  harmonizing  with  the 
others.     These  singing  sirens  reappear  in  Milton  : 

In  deep  of  night,  when  drowsiness 
Hath  locked  up  mortal  sense,  than  listen  I 
To  the  celestial  Sirens'  harmony 
That  sit  upon  the  nine  enfolded  spheres. 

Arcades. 

It  would  be  impossible  within  reasonable  limits  to  quote  the  numerous 
references  to  the  supposed  celestial  music.  The  following  from  Words- 
worth embodies  the  original  simile  : 

And  every  motion  of  his  starry  train 
Seems  governed  by  a  strain 
Of  music,  audible  to  him  alone. 

The  Triad. 

In  Collins  the  siren  of  Plato  has  descended  to  earth,  and  he  apostrophizes 
her  thus : 

O  Music  !  sphere-descended  maid  ! 

The  Passions,  1.  95. 

Mute   inglorious   Milton.     The  fifteenth,  sixteenth,  and   seventeenth 
stanzas  of  Gray's  "  Elegy  written  in  a  Country  Church-Yard"  run  as  follows  : 
Some  village  Hampden,  that  with  dauntless  breast 

The  little  tyrant  of  his  fields  withstood. 
Some  mute  inglorious  Milton  here  may  rest. 
Some  Cromwell  guiltless  of  his  country's  blood. 

The  applause  of  listening  senates  to  command. 

The  threats  of  pain  and  ruin  to  despise. 
To  scatter  plenty  o'er  a  smiling  land, 

And  read  their  history  in  a  nation's  eyes. 

Their  lot  forbade,  nor  circumscribed  alone 
Their  growing  virtues,  but  their  crimes  confined; 

Forbade  to  wade  through  slaughter  to  a  throne. 
And  shut  the  gates  of  Mercy  on  mankind. 

The  thought  in  these  lines  is  obvious  enough.  Indeed,  it  is  but  a  more 
literal  statement  of  the  metaphorical  figure  in  the  two  preceding  stanzas, 
which  we  have  already  shown  (see  Gem  —  Flower)  to  have  been  frequently 
anticipated.  But  the  very  form  of  the  expression  may  be  traced  through 
curious  ramifications  back  to  a  very  unlikely  source  in  Cowley's  "  Davideis." 
The  poet  is  laboring  to  impress  upon  us  the  bottomlessness  of  the  bottom- 
less abyss.     It  is,  he  says. 

Beneath  the  dens  where  unflecht  tempests  lie. 
And  infant  winds  their  tender  voices  try. 

Dryden  seized  upon  this  passage  and  turned  it  into  ridicule  in  his  "  Mac- 
Flecknoe  :" 

A  nursery  erects  its  head. 
Where  queens  are  former!,  and  future  heroes  bred ; 
Where  unfledged  actors  learn  to  laugh  and  cry. 
Where  infant  punks  their  tender  voices  try. 
And  little  Maximins  the  gods  defy. 

Shenstone  saw  in  this  parody  the  germ  of  a  serious  idea,  which  he  thus 
expresses  in  his  "  School-Mistress  :" 

Nursed  with  skill,  what  dazzling  fruits  appear  ! 

E'en  now  sagacious  foresight  points  to  show 

A  little  bench  of  heedless  bishops  here. 

And  there  a  chancellor  in  embryo. 

Or  bard  sublime,  if  bard  may  e'er  be  so. 

As  Milton,  Shakespeare,  names  that  ne'er  shall  diet 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  759 

Whereupon  Gray  turned  it  to  immortal  use  in  the  above  stanzas.  Another 
coincidence  has  been  pointed  out  between  the  third  line  of  the  fifteenth  stanza 
and  a  passage  in  the  "Mystery  of  the  Good  Old  Cause"  (1660),  p.  11,  re- 
printed by  the  Aungervyle  Society,  May,  1883,  where  Oliver  Cromwell  is 
referred  to  as  one  who  "  having  projected  greatness  and  sovereignty  to  him- 
self from  the  beginning,  he  waded  to  it  through  the  blood  of  his  natural 
prince  and  great  numbers  of  his  fellow-subjects." 

But  we  have  not  yet  done  with  Cowley's  couplet.  Young  takes  hold  of  it 
in  his  "  Night  Thoughts"  and  bids  us  "  elance  our  thought" 

above  the  caves 
Where  infant  tempests  wait  their  growing  wings. 
And  tune  their  tender  voices  to  that  roar. 

And  surely  it  was  from  the  same  font  of  inspiration  that  Byron  drew  his 
line  in  "  Childe  Harold"  where  he  describes  the  glee  of  the  mountains  during 
a  storm  on  Lake  Lenian  : 

As  if  they  did  rejoice  at  a  young  earthquake's  birth. 
As  to  Dryden's  parody,  Mrs.  Barbauld,  as  well  as  Shenstone,  took  it  seri- 
ously and  transferred  it  to  her  rhymes  addressed  to  some  grammar-school : 
Its  modest  front  it  rears, 
A  nursery  of  men  for  future  years  ; 
Here  infant  bards  and  embryo  statesmen  lie. 
And  unfledged  poets  short  excursions  try. 

Muttons,  Let  us  return  to  our,  in  other  words,  let  us  recur  to  the 
subject-matter  from  which  we  have  wandered.  The  sentence  comes  from 
the  old  French  play  "L'Avocat  Patelin,"  by  Blanchet. 

Guillaume,  a  draper,  has  been  robbed  by  Pathelin,  a  lawyer,  of  six  ells  of 
cloth,  and  by  Agnelet,  his  shepherd,  of  twenty-six  sheep.  Guillaume  intends 
to  make  it  a  hanging-matter  for  the  shepherd,  but  when  he  comes  into  court 
to  accuse  him  he  finds  that  Pathelin,  who  stole  the  cloth,  is  the  lawyer  em- 
ployed to  defend  Agnelet.  With  his  head  running  upon  both  his  sheep  and 
his  cloth,  he  makes  a  delightful  confusion  of  the  two  losses.  The  judge  says, — 
Sus,  revenons  ^  nos  moutons  : 
Qu'en  fut-il? 

and  the  draper  replies, — 

II  en  a  pris  six  aunes, 
De  neuf  francs. 

The  judge  is  much  puzzled,  and  continually  entreats  Guillaume,  "Let  us 
return  to  our  sheep"  ("  Revenons  a  nos  moutons"). 

Mutual  Admiration  Society,  a  satirical  term  popularly  applied  to 
any  circle  of  private  or  public  individuals  who  express  what  seems  to  be 
undue  appreciation  of  each  other,  or  especially  who  practise  what  is  now 
known  as  log-rolling.  There  is  much  truth,  however,  in  Dr.  Holmes's  protest. 
He  makes  his  Autocrat  of  the  Breakfast-Table  give  this  reply  to  a  question  as 
to  whether  he  belongs  to  a  Mutual  Admiration  Society  :  "  I  blush  to  say  that  I 
do  not  at  this  present  moment.  I  once  did,  however.  It  was  the  first  associa- 
tion to  which  I  ever  heard  the  term  applied  ;  a  body  of  scientific  young  men  in 
a  great  foreign  city  who  admired  their  teacher,  and  to  some  extent  each  other. 
Many  of  them  deserved  it ;  they  have  become  famous  since."  In  a  note  to 
the  last  edition  of  the  "Autocrat"  Dr.  Holmes  explains  that  this  body  "was 
the  Societe  d'Observation  Medicale  of  Paris,  of  which  M.  Louis  was  presi- 
dent, and  MM.  Barth,  Grisotte,  and  our  own  Dr.  Bowditch  were  members. 
About  the  time  when  these  papers  were  published,"  he  continues,  "the 
Saturday  Club  was  founded,  or,  rather,  found  itself  in  existence  without  any 
organization,  almost  without  parentage.     It  was  natural  enough  that  such 


76o  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

men  as  Emerson,  Longfellow,  Agassiz,  Peirce,  with  Hawthorne,  Motley, 
Sumner,  when  within  reach,  and  others  who  would  be  good  company  for 
them,  should  meet  and  dine  together  once  in  a  while,  as  they  did,  in  point  of 
fact,  every  month,  and  as  some  who  are  still  living,  with  other  and  newer 
members,  still  meet  and  dine.  If  some  of  them  had  not  admired  each  other 
they  would  have  been  exceptions  in  the  world  of  letters  and  science."  But 
the  term  was  known  in  America  before  the  establishment  of  the  Saturday 
Club.  It  was  applied  by  newspaper  humorists  to  a  friendly  circle  self-styled 
the  "Five  of  Clubs"  which  George  S.  Hillard,  Henry  R.  Cleveland,  Professor 
C.  C.  Felton,  Charles  Sumner,  and  H.  W.  Longfellow  established  at  Cam- 
bridge in  1836.  The  point  of  the  jest  lay  in  the  fact  that  as  literary  men  they 
all  had  good  chances,  of  which  they  liberally  and  righteously  availed  them- 
selves, to  speak  well  of  each  other's  books  in  the  Reviews.  After  Cleveland's 
early  death  Dr.  S.  G.  Howe,  the  philanthropist,  became  one  of  the  club. 

Mutual  friend,  a  modern  substitute  for  common  friend,  which  has  estab- 
lished itself  despite  the  protests  of  purist  and  pedagogue.  Thus,  Harrison,  in 
his  "Choice  of  Books,"  says,  "In  D'Israeli's  '  Lothair'  a  young  lady  talks  to 
the  hero  about  their  mutual  ancestors.  .  .  .  One  used  to  think  that  mutual 
friend  for  common  friend  was  rather  a  cockneyism.  .  .  .  Mutual,  as  Johnson 
will  tell  us,  means  something  reciprocal,  a  giving  and  taking.  How  could 
people  have  mutual  ancestors,  unless,  indeed,  their  great-grandparents  had 
exchanged  husbands  or  wives .'"  The  same  fault  was  one  of  the  many  which 
Macaulay  denounced  in  his  review  of  Croker's  "  Boswell's  Johnson"  in  1831  : 
"  We  find  in  every  page  words  used  in  wrong  senses,  and  constructions  which 
violate  the  plainest  rules  of  grammar.  We  have  the  vulgarism  of  mutual 
friend  for  common  friend."  Nevertheless,  from  the  beginning  of  the  seven- 
teenth century  this  "  vulgarism"  has  been  forcing  itself  into  favor.  Its  earliest 
reported  appearance  is  in  Ned  Ward's  "  Wandering  Spy,"  Part  II.,  p.  56, 
edition  of  1722  (but  that,  of  course,  is  a  work  of  no  linguistic  authority) : 

At  once  quite  banishing  away 

The  past  Mischances  of  the  Day, 

So  that  we  now,  like  mutual  Friends, 

Walked  in  to  make  the  House  amends. 

Sir  Walter  Scott  is  much  better  authority.  Writing  to  Messrs.  Hurst, 
Robinson  &  Co.,  February  25,  1822,  he  refers  to  "our  mutual  friend  Mr. 
James  Ballantyne"  (Constable:  Memoirs).  And  at  last  came  Dickens 
in  1864  and  boldly  took  the  tabooed  phrase  as  the  very  title  of  a  novel,  so 
that  now  it  is  stamped  so  indelibly  upon  the  English  language  that  all  the 
brooms  of  all  the  Partingtonian  critics  will  never  suffice  to  wash  out  the  hall- 
mark. 

Myself^  That  excellent  man  is.  Charles  Mathews,  the  comedian,  was 
once  placed  in  the  awkward  position  of  proposing  his  own  health  at  a  banquet 
where  he  doubled  the  parts  of  host  and  guest  upon  taking  leave  of  his  friends 
before  starting  for  the  antipodes.  But  his  ready  wit  always  extricated  him 
from  the  most  awkward  positions,  and  with  excellent  humor  he  justified  his 
novel  position  on  the  ground  that  he  was  naturally  the  fittest  man  to  propose 
the  toast  of  the  evening:  "I  venture  emphatically  to  affirm  there  is  no  man 
so  well  acquainted  with  the  merits  and  demerits  of  that  gifted  individual  as  I 
am.  I  have  been  on  the  most  intimate  terms  with  him  from  his  earliest 
youth.  I  have  watched  over  and  assisted  his  progress  from  childhood  up- 
wards, have  shared  in  all  his  joys  and  griefs  ;  and  I  am  proud  to  have  this 
opportunity  of  publicly  declaring  that  there  is  not  a  man  on  earth  for  whom  I 
entertain  so  sincere  a  regard  and  affection.  Indeed,  I  don't  think  I  go  too 
far  in  stating  that  he  has  an  equal  affection  for  me.     He  has  come  to  me  for 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  761 

advice  over  and  over  again,  under  the  most  embarrassing  circumstances; 
and  he  has  always  taken  my  advice  in  preference  to  that  of  any  one  else." 

Was  it  mere  coincidence,  or  was  the  author  acquainted  with  this  poem  of 
Heine's  ? — 

They  gave  me  advice  and  counsel  in  store. 

Praised  me  and  honored  me  more  and  more  ; 

Said  that  I  only  should  wait  awhile  ; 

Offered  their  patronage,  too,  with  a  smile. 

But,  with  all  their  honor  and  approbation, 
I  should,  long  ago,  have  died  of  starvation. 
Had  there  not  come  an  excellent  man 
Who  bravely  to  help  me  along  began. 

Good  fellow  !  he  got  me  the  food  I  ate, 

His  kindness  and  care  I  shall  never  forget ; 

I  cannot  embrace  him, — though  other  folks  can, — 

For  I  myself  am  this  excellent  man  ! 

Mystification  and  Imposture.  The  mystifier  and  the  impostor  have  the 
same  end  in  view, — the  deluding  of  the  public.  But  the  former  does  it  in  a 
harmless,  hoaxing  spirit,  the  latter  as  a  deliberate  fraud  for  purposes  of  gain 
or  glory.  The  mystifier  only  amuses,  he  piques  curiosity,  when  he  does  what 
is  disgraceful  in  the  impostor.  Let  us  take  the  Bacon-Shakespeare  theory  as 
proved.  Bacon,  in  that  light,  is  the  greatest  and  most  successful  mystifier  in 
literary  history,  Shakespeare  the  most  contemptible  impostor, — an  impostor 
all  the  more  degraded  because  the  consent  of  the  true  author  robbed  his  act 
of  any  redeeming  boldness  or  audacity.  The  Shakespeare  of  the  North, — or 
will  the  time  come  when  we  shall  call  him  the  Bacon  of  the  North  t — the  good 
Sir  Walter,  in  short,  found  a  great  and  altogether  justifiable  delight  in  pro- 
voking the  public  curiosity  anent  the  Waverley  Novels  in  seeking  all  means 
of  throwing  that  curiosity  off'  the  right  scent,  even  writing  a  critical  review  of 
one  of  the  novels  which  distributed  blame  as  well  as  praise,  even  denying 
point-blank  a  point-blank  and  impertinent  interrogatory.  There  were  wheels 
within  wheels  in  the  great  Waverley  mystification.  Not  only  were  the  public 
for  a  period  deceived  as  to  the  authorship  of  the  books,  but  it  was  not  till 
after  his  death  that  they  discovered  that  a  large  number  of  the  most  striking 
mottoes  to  the  chapter-heads,  variously  purporting  to  be  extracts  from  old 
plays,  the  composition  of  anonymous  writers,  etc.,  were  composed  by  Sir 
Walter  Scott  himself.  Lockhart,  in  the  "  Life,"  vol.  v.  p.  145,  thus  explains 
the  beginning  of  this  practice  : 

It  was  in  correcting  the  proof-sheets  of  the  "  Antiquary"  that  Scott  first  took  to  equipping 
his  chapters  with  mottoes  of  his  own  fabrication.  On  one  occasion  he  happened  to  ask  John 
Ballantyne,  who  was  sitting  by  him,  to  hunt  for  a  particular  passage  in  Beaumont  and 
Fletcher.  John  did  as  he  was  bid,  but  he  did  not  succeed  in  discovering  the  lines.  "  Hang 
it,  Johnny  !"  cried  Scott,  "  I  believe  I  can  make  a  motto  sooner  than  you  will  find  one."  He 
did  so  accordingly  ;  and  from  that  hour,  whenever  memory  failed  to  suggest  an  appropriate 
epigraph,  he  had  recourse  to  the  inexhaustible  mines  of  "  old  play"  or  "  old  ballad,"  to 
which  we  owe  some  of  the  most  exquisite  verses  that  ever  flowed  from  his  pen. 

These  were  gathered  as  "  Miscellaneous  and  Lyrical  Pieces"  in  the  popular 
edition  of  the  poems,  to  which  Lockhart  in  1841  prefixed  a  short  notice  giving 
the  collection  his  imprimatur.  Among  them  all  there  are  none  more  famous 
than  this  quatrain, — 

Sound,  sound  the  clarion,  fill  the  fife  ! 
To  all  the  sensual  world  proclaim. 
One  crowded  hour  of  glorious  life 
Is  worth  an  age  without  a  name,— 

which  forms  the  motto  to  the  concluding  chapter  of  "Old  Mortality,"  and  is 

credited  to  Anon.    The  verses  have  the  true  Scott  ring  in  them,  yet  even 

64* 


762  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

to  this  day  inquirers  of  the  Notes  and  Queries  order  are  continually  requesting 
information  as  to  whether  the  anonymity  has  ever  been  solved. 

One  cannot  be  so  certain  of  the  morality  of  that  German  would-be  imitator 
of  Scott,  G.  W.  Haring,  who,  making  a  wager  that  he  could  produce  a  novel 
which  would  be  accepted  as  a  genuine  Waverley,  published  at  Leipsic  in  1824 
the  romance  of  "  Walladmor"  as  an  actual  translation  from  Sir  Walter  Scott, 
and  deceived  many  Continental  readers  into  the  belief  of  its  genuineness. 
The  scene  is  laid  in  Wales ;  the  tale  itself  is  crude  and  ill  compacted, — not, 
indeed,  without  some  weird  attractions  in  parts,  but  mostly  a  clumsy  imitation 
of  incidents  and  characters  such  as  the  Enchanter  had  in  his  time  conjured 
with.  By  a  curious  coincidence,  Scott  was  then  engaged  on  "The  Betrothed," 
the  scene  of  which  is  laid  in  the  same  part  of  Britain,  and  it  was  naturally 
supposed  by  him  and  his  publishers  that  the  unknown  pretender  to  his  name 
had  in  some  way  gained  an  inkling  of  this  fact  and  used  it  to  give  the  fabrica- 
tion a  greater  air  of  probability.  In  the  mock  introduction  to  "The  Be- 
trothed" (1825)  a  good-humored  conjecture  is  made  that  "Walladmor"  was 
"the  work  of  Dousterswivel,  by  the  help  of  the  steam-engine,"  though  it  is 
airowed  that  "there  are  good  things  in  it,  had  the  writer  known  anything 
about  the  country  in  which  he  laid  the  scene."  De  Quincey,  however,  found 
almost  no  good  in  the  work.  He  had  undertaken  its  translation  for  a  London 
publisher,  and  realized  when  too  late  the  hopelessness  of  the  task.  "  Such 
rubbish — such  'almighty'  nonsense  (to  speak  transatlantic^) — no  eye  has  ever 
beheld  as  nine  hundred  and  fifty,  to  say  the  very  least,  of  these  thousand 
pages.  To  translate  them  was  perfectly  out  of  the  question  ;  the  very  devils 
and  runners  of  the  press  would  have  mutinied  against  l^eing  parties  to 
such  atrocious  absurdities."  He  saw  nothing  for  it,  therefore,  but  to  rewrite 
the  whole  in  his  own  way,  "and  hence  arose  this  singular  result:  that,  with- 
out any  original  intention  to  do  so,  I  had  been  gradually  led  by  circum- 
stances to  build  upon  this  German  hoax  a  second  and  equally  complete 
English  hoax.  The  German  '  Walladmor'  professed  to  be  a  translation  from 
the  English  of  Sir  Walter  Scott;  my  'Walladmor'  professed  to  be  a  trans- 
lation from  the  German  ;  but,  for  the  reason  I  have  given,  it  was  no  more  a 
translation  from  the  German  than  the  German  from  the  English." 

A  successful  form  of  mystification  was  invented  by  Father  Prout,  the  other 
name  of  the  witty  Irish  unfrocked  priest  Father  Francis  Mahony,  and  success- 
fully practised  by  many  of  his  co-contributors  to  the  early  Fraser.  This  was 
to  translate  a  well-known  poem  into  some  foreign  language,  and  then  to  pass 
off  the  translation  as  a  much  earlier  work  and  the  undoubted  original.  In 
his  "  Rogueries  of  Tom  Moore"  Prout  gravely  charges  that  Moore's  song 
"Go  where  Glory  waits  thee"  is  but  "a  literal  and  servile  translation  of  an 
old  French  ditty  which  is  among  my  papers,  and  which  I  believe  to  have  been 
composed  by  that  beautiful  and  interesting  ladye,  Fran9oise  de  Foix,  Comtesse 
de  Chateaubriand,  born  in  1491,  and  the  favorite  of  Francis  I.,  who  soon 
abandoned  her  ;"  that  "  Lesbia  hath  a  Beaming  Eye"  was  stolen  from  "  an  old 
Latin  song  of  my  own,  which  I  made  when  a  boy,  smitten  with  the  charms  of 
an  Irish  milkmaid ;"  and  so  on  through  half  a  dozen  of  Moore's  best-known 
poems.  Here  are  the  opening  stanzas  of  the  pretended  "  originals"  side  by 
side  with  the  "  translation  :" 
Chanson  de  la  Comtesse  de  Chateau-       Tom  Moore's  Translation  op  this  Song 

BRIAND  A    pRANgOIS   \.  IN  THE  IrISH  MeLODIES. 

Va  oil  la  gloire  t'invite ;  Go  where  glory  waits  thee  ; 

Et  quand  d'orgueil  palpite  But  while  fame  elates  thee, 

Ce  ccEur,  qu'il  pense  A  moi !  Oh,  still  remember  me  ! 

Quand  I'eloge  enflamme  When  the  praise  thou  meetest 

Toute  I'ardeur  de  ton  ame,  To  thine  ear  is  sweetest, 

Pense  encore  k  moi !  Oh,  then  remember  me  I 


I 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  7^3 

Autres  charmes  peut-etre  Other  arms  may  press  thee, 

Tu  voudras  connaitre.  Dearer  friends  caress  thee, 

Autre  amour  en  maitre  All  the  joys  that  bless  thee 

Regnera  sur  toi ;  Dearer  far  may  be  ; 

Mais  quand  ta  levre  presse  But  when  friends  are  dearest 

Celle  qui  te  caresse.  And  when  joys  are  nearest, 

Mechant,  pense  i  moi  1  Oh,  then  remember  me  ! 

In  Pulchram  Lactiferam.  To  a  Beautiful  Milkmaid. 

Carmen,  auctore  Prout.  A  Melody,  by  Thomas  Moore. 

Lesbia  semper  hinc  et  inde  Lesbia  hath  a  beaming  eye, 

Oculorum  tela  movit ;  But  no  one  knows  for  whom  it  beameth ; 

Capiat  omnes,  sed  dein'de  Right  and  left  its  arrows  fly, 

Quis  ametur  nemo  novit.  But  what  they  aim  at  no  one  dreameth. 

Palpebrarum,  Nora  cara,  Sweeter  'tis  to  gaze  upon 

Lux  tuarum  non  est  foris.  My  Norah's  lid  that  seldom  rises. 

Flamma  micat  ibi  rara.  Few  her  looks,  but  every  one 

Sed  sinceri  lux  amoris.  Like  unexpected  light  surprises. 

Nora  Creina  sit  regina,  O  my  Nora  Creina  dear, 

Vultu,  gressu  tam  modesto !  My  gentle,  bashful  Nora  Creina, 

Hxc,  puellas  inter  bellas.  Beauty  lies  in  many  eyes. 

Jure  omnium  dux  esto !  But  love's  in  thine,  my  Nora  Creina. 


In  explanation  of  the  manner  in  which  Tom  Moore  got  hold  of  these  origi- 
nals, Father  Prout  circumstantially  sets  forth  that  the  Blarney  stone  in  his 
neighborhood  has  attracted  many  visitors,  among  whom  none  had  been  so 
assiduous  a  pilgrim  as  Tom  Moore.  "  While  he  was  engaged  in  his  best  and 
most  unexceptionable  work  on  the  melodious  ballads  of  his  country  he  came 
regularly  every  summer,  and  did  me  the  honor  to  share  my  humble  roof  re- 
peatedly. He  knows  well  how  often  he  plagued  me  to  supply  him  with  origi- 
nal songs  which  I  had  picked  up  in  France  among  the  merry  troubadours  and 
carol-loving  inhabitants  of  that  once-happy  land,  and  to  what  extent  he  has 
transferred  these  foreign  inventions  into  the  '  Irish  Melodies.'  Like  thQ 
robber  Cacus,  he  generally  dragged  the  plundered  cattle  by  the  tail,  so  as  that, 
moving  backward  into  his  cavern  of  stolen  goods,  the  foot-tracks  might  not 
lead  to  detection.  Some  songs  he  would  turn  upside  down  by  a  figure  in 
rhetoric  called  voTepov  nporepov  ;  others  he  would  disguise  in  various  shapes  ; 
but  he  would  still  worry  me  to  supply  him  with  the  productions  of  the  Gallic 
muse  :  '  For,  d'ye  see,  old  Prout,'  the  rogue  would  say, 

'  The  best  of  all  ways 

To  lengthen  our  lays 

Is  to  steal  a  few  thoughts  from  the  French,  my  dear.'  " 

Not  content  with  these  exploits,  Father  Prout  accomplished  the  truly  ex- 
traordinary feat  of  translating  the  "Groves  of  Blarney,"  by  Milliken,  into 
excellent  Italian,  French,  Latin,  and  Greek  versions,  claiming  that  the  first 
three  with  the  English  were  variants  of  the  Greek,  probably  by  Tyrtaeus  or 
Callimachus,  and  proving  thereby  the  immense  antiquity  of  the  Blarney  stone. 
This  tour  t/e  force,  which  appears  among  the  published  "  Reliques  of  Father 
Prout"  under  the  head  "  A  Plea  for  Pilgrimages,"  was  of  course  an  obvious  jest. 
But  his  similar  attempt  to  prove  that  Wolfe's  "  Burial  of  Sir  John  Moore" 
was  almost  a  literal  translation  of  some  French  stanzas  written  in  commemo- 
ration of  a  Colonel  de  Beaumanoir  who  was  killed  at  Pondicherry  in  1749, 
while  the  French  stanzas  in  their  turn  were  almost  literally  translated  from  a 
German  poem  of  the  seventeenth  century  in  honor  of  the  Swedish  general 
Torstenson,  who  fell  at  the  siege  of  Dantzic, — this  attempt,  made  in  two 
papers  contributed  to  volumes  i.  and  ii.  of  Bentley's  Miscellany,  but  not 
included  in  his  "  Reliques,"  has  given  some  little  trouble  to  scholars.  In 
Putnam's  Magazine  for  1869  the  two  poems  were  republished  in  all  apparent 
seriousness  by  Theodore  Johnson,  who  claimed  to  have  found  them  in  foreign 


764  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

periodicals,  and  who  made  no  mention  of  their  Proutian  origin.  Johnson 
may  have  been  a  plagiaristic  fakir,  but  his  article  imposed  upon  many  con- 
temporaneous critics,  and  the  few  who,  like  the  Nation,  scented  a  hoax  gave 
Johnson  the  credit  of  being  the  hoaxer. 

Mirza  Schaffy  is  a  name  well  known  in  literature  as  that  of  the  putative  origi- 
nator of  the  "  Songs  of  Mirza  Schaffy,"  a  collection  of  Oriental  poems  pub- 
lished in  1850  and  feigned  to  be  a  German  translation  from  the  Persian.  They 
obtained  an  extraordinary  popularity  in  Germany,  and  were  rendered  into 
nearly  all  the  principal  modern  languages,  and  even  into  Servian  and  Hebrew. 
Then  inquiries  began  to  be  made  about  the  author.  It  was  discovered  that 
one  Mirza  Schafifyhad  lived  not  long  before  at  Tiflis.  Curious  investigators 
even  found  his  grave.  But  nobody  in  the  East  had  ever  heard  of  his  poems. 
The  little  mystery,  however,  was  soon  dispelled.  Friedrich  Bodenstedt,  who 
presented  himself  as  the  translator,  was  really  the  author  of  the  songs.  Yet 
Mirza  Schaffy  was  no  myth.  "  He  was  for  a  long  time,"  says  Bodenstedt,  "  my 
teacher  in  Tartaric  and  Persian,  and  in  that  capacity  was  not  without  influence 
on  the  production  of  these  songs,  of  which  a  great  part  would  not  have  been 
written  without  my  residence  in  the  East." 

In  1800  a  Spaniard  named  Marchena,  attached  to  the  army  of  the  Rhine, 
amused  himself  during  the  winter  which  he  passed  at  Basle  by  composing 
some  fragments  of  Petronius.  These  were  published  soon  after,  and,  in  spite 
of  the  air  of  pleasantry  which  ran  through  the  preface  and  notes,  the  author 
had  so  well  imitated  the  style  of  his  model  that  many  very  accomplished 
scholars  were  deceived,  and  were  only  set  right  by  a  declaration  of  the  truth 
on  the  part  of  the  publisher.  The  success  of  this  mystification  struck  the 
fancy  of  Marchena,  and  in  1806  he  published,  under  his  own  name,  a  frag- 
ment of  Catullus,  which  he  pretended  to  have  been  taken  from  a  manuscript 
recently  unrolled  at  Herculaneum.  But  this  time  he  was  beaten  with  his 
own  weapon.  A  professor  at  Jena,  Eichstadt,  announced  in  the  following 
year  that  the  library  of  that  city  possessed  a  very  ancient  manuscript  in 
which  were  the  same  verses  of  Catullus,  with  some  important  variations. 
The  German,  under  pretence  of  correcting  some  errors  of  the  copyist,  pointed 
out  several  faults  in  prosody  committed  by  Marchena,  and  made  sundry 
improvements  upon  the  political  allusions  of  the  Spaniard. 

In  1803  a  Frenchman  named  Vanderbourg  published  some  charming  poetry 
under  the  name  of  Clotilde  de  Surville,  a  female  writer  said  to  have  been 
contemporary  with  Charles  the  Seventh  of  France.  The  editor  pretended  to 
have  found  the  manuscript  among  the  papers  of  one  of  her  descendants,  the 
Marquis  de  Surville,  who  was  executed  under  the  Directory.  The  public 
was  at  first  the  dupe  of  this  deception,  but  the  critics  were  not  long  in  dis- 
covering the  truth.  "Independently,"  says  Charles  Nodier,  "  of  the  purity 
of  the  language,  of  the  choice  variation  of  the  metres,  of  the  scrupulousness 
of  the  elisions,  of  the  alternation  of  the  genders  in  the  rhymes, — a  sacred  rule 
in  the  present  day,  but  unknown  in  the  time  of  Clotilde, — of  the  perfection, 
in  short,  of  every  verse,  the  true  author  has  suffered  to  escape  some  indica- 
tions of  deception  which  it  is  impossible  to  mistake."  Among  these  was  her 
quotation  from  Lucretius,  whose  works  had  not  been  then  discovered,  and 
which,  perhaps,  did  not  penetrate  into  France  until  towards  1475  ;  her  mention 
of  the  seven  satellites  of  Saturn,  the  first  of  which  was  observed  for  the  first 
time  by  Huyghens  in  1635,  and  the  last  by  Herschel  in  1789;  and  her  trans- 
lation of  an  ode  of  Sappho,  the  fragments  of  whose  works  were  not  then 
published.  However,  the  poems  attributed  to  Clotilde  are  full  of  grace  and 
beauty. 

Prosper  Merimee  was  one  of  the  most  skilful  of  literary  mystifiers,  using  his 
talents  for  amusement  rather  than  for  deliberate  deception.     When  a  mere 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  765 

youth,  he  played  a  practical  joke  on  Cuvier  by  manufacturing  for  him  an 
original  letter  of  Robespierre,  which  delighted  that  hunter  of  autographs  as 
well  as  of  truth.  The  deception  was  not  found  out  until  a  rival  collector  held 
the  autograph  to  the  light  and  saw  that  the  water-mark  on  the  paper  bore  a 
date  later  than  that  of  Robespierre's  death.  Merimee's  first  published  book 
was  a  collection  of  short  dramas,  pretended  translations  from  a  gifted  .Spanish 
lady,  Clara  Guzia,  for  whom  he  invented  a  biography.  "Clara  Guzla"  was 
taken  for  a  reality;  her  genius  was  gravely  discussed  by  critics,  and  a  Span- 
iard, ashamed  to  confess  ignorance  of  so  gifted  a  countrywoman,  declared 
that,  although  the  French  translation  was  good,  it  was  inferior  to  the  original. 
Merimee  afterwards  manufactured  an  Hungarian  bard,  songs  and  all.  The 
deception  made  dupes  of  the  German  as  well  as  the  French  critics,  and  set 
them  wondering  why  so  brilliant  a  writer  had  never  been  heard  of  beyond 
Hungary. 

J.  Whitcomb  Riley,  when  comparatively  unknown  to  fame,  set  afloat  the 
following  item  in  the  Kokomo  (Indiana)  Dispatch : 

In  the  house  of  a  gentleman  in  this  city  we  saw  a  poem  written  on  the  fly-leaf  of  an  old 
book.  Noticing  the  initials  '•  E.  A.  P."  at  the  bottom,  it  struck  us  that  possibly  we  had  run 
across  a  bonanza. 

The  owner  of  the  book  said  that  he  did  not  know  who  was  the  author  of  the  poem.  His 
grandfather,  who  gave  him  the  book,  kept  an  inn  in  Chesterfield,  near  Richmond,  Virginia. 
One  night  a  young  man  who  showed  plainly  the  marks  of  dissipation  rapped  at  the  door, 
asked  if  he  could  stay  all  night,  and  was  shown  to  a  room. 

That  was  the  last  they  saw  of  him.  When  they  went  next  morning  to  call  him  to  break- 
fast he  had  gone,  but  had  left  the  book,  on  the  fly-leaf  of  which  he  had  written  these  verses  : 

Leonanie. 

Leonanie — angels  named  her, 

And  they  took  the  light 
Of  the  laughing  stars,  and  framed  her 
In  a  suit  of  white  ; 

And  they  made  her  hair  of  gloomy 
Midnight,  and  her  eyes  of  glowing 
Moonshine,  and  they  brought  her  to  me 
In  the  silent  night. 

In  a  solemn  night  of  summer. 

When  my  heart  of  gloom 
Blossomed  up  to  greet  the  comer 
Like  a  rose  in  bloom  ; 
All  forebodings  that  distressed  me 
I  forgot  as  joy  caressed  me, — 
Lying  joy  that  caught  and  pressed  me 
In  the  arms  of  doom. 

Only  spake  the  little  lisper 

In  the  angels'  tongue. 
Yet  I,  listening,  heard  her  whisper, 
"  Songs  are  only  sung 

Here  below  that  they  may  grieve  you, — 
Tales  are  told  you  to  deceive  you, — 
So  must  Leonanie  leave  you 
While  her  love  is  young." 

Then  God  smiled,  and  it  was  morning 

Matchless  and  supreme. 
Heaven's  glory  seemed  adorning 
Earth  with  its  esteem  ; 

Every  heart  but  mine  seemed  gifted 
With  the  voice  of  prayer,  and  lifted. 
Where  my  Leonanie  drifted 
From  me  like  a  dream. 

E.  A.  P. 

The  verses  went  the  rounds  of  the  press,  critics  gravely  discussed  their 
genuineness,  many  lovers  of  Poe  were  duped.     Finally  the  secret  of  the  hoax 


766  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

was  discovered.  When  one  sees  how  easily  the  most  judicious  may  be 
deceived,  one  wonders  which  one  of  our  great  literary  masterpieces  may  be 
merely  an  accepted  fraud. 

We  know  that  Robert  Stephen  Hawker  deceived  even  Macaulay  (an  excel- 
lent judge  of  ballad  poetry)  by  his  "  Song  of  the  Western  Men,"  with  its 
refrain  of 

And  must  Trelawny  die,  and  must  Trelawny  die? 

Then  forty  thousand  Cornishmen  will  know  the  reason  why. 

We  know  that  Surtees  deceived  even  Sir  Walter  Scott  (a  still  better  judge) 
with  his  ballads  of  "The  Slaying  of  Antony  Featherstonhaugh"  and  "Bar- 
tram's  Dirge,"  which  purported  to  be  collected  from  oral  tradition  and  were 
furnished  with  learned  notes.  Nay,  Andrew  Lang  hints  an  uncomfortable 
suspicion  that  Sir  Walter  Scott  was  himself  the  author  of  the  ballad  of 
"Kinmont  Willie."  which  to  this  day  is  accepted  as  one  of  the  finest  of  the 
old  English  ballads.  Supposing  this  be  true,  how  many  other  Kinmont  Wil- 
lies are  there  in  our  literature  "i 

In  the  London  Times  of  June  i6  and  28,  1886,  Sir  George  Grove  for  the  first 
time  told  how  musical  literature  was  "  enriched"  by  an  apocryphal  work  of 
Beethoven,  "  The  Dream  of  St.  Jerome."  In  the  course  of  "  Philip"  Thack- 
eray makes  his  Miss  Charlotte  play  Beethoven's  "  Dream  of  St.  Jerome,"  which 
he  likens  to  "a  poem  of  Tennyson's  in  music."  A  reader  of  the  novel  as  it 
ran  through  Cornhill  very  naturally  wished  to  possess  this  work,  which  was 
unknown  to  him,  and,  applying  to  a  great  musical  shop,  he  was  told  by  the 
proprietor  that  it  was  out  of  print,  but  would  soon  be  ready.  Now,  the  pro- 
prietor himself  had  never  heard  of  the  piece.  But,  being  a  gentleman  of 
infinite  resources  and  an  iron  will,  he  ordained  that  if  it  did  not  exist  it  should 
exist.  He  commanded  one  of  his  "  myrmidons,"  as  Sir  George  puts  it,  "  to 
look  sharp  and  cook  up  something  ;  you  know  your  Beethoven."  The  myr- 
midon, not  loath  to  show  agility  in  cause  so  fair,  dived  among  the  lesser  known 
works  of  the  Beethoven  whom  he  knew,  and  came  up  with  the  third  of  that 
master's  sacred  songs.  Then,  like  a  subtle  archimage  or  an  adept  in  the 
modern  arts  of  cookery  and  fakery,  he  toiled  with  his  material,  adding  an 
allegretto  in  six-eight,  two  themes  of  trivial  import  whipped  extremely  thin 
into  an  airy  froth, — "some  real  vulgar  melody,"  says  Sir  George, — and  thus 
was  woven  "  The  Dream  of  St.  Jerome." 

But  was  Thackeray,  too,  a  deceiver .'  If  not,  what  was  that  music  which 
had  so  charmed  and  soothed  him  ?  What  was  the  true,  the  antenatal  "  Dream 
of  St.  Jerome"  .>'  Curiously  enough,  it  is  to  be  found  in  another  set  of  "  Sacred 
Songs,"  the  work  of  Thomas  Moore,  among  which  is  one  entitled  "  Who 
is  the  Maid  ?  St.  Jerome's  Love.  Air — Beethoven."  "  Ay,  St.  Jerome's 
Love  ;  but  what  of  his  Dream  ?"  is  the  obvious  question  of  the  inquirer  ;  for, 
though  love  is  a  dream,  a  dream  is  not  necessarily  of  love.  Of  this  difficulty 
there  is  no  better  solution  than  that  of  Sir  George  Grove,  who  very  plausibly 
conceives  that  Thackeray's  recollection  failed  him,  and  thus  for  "  love"  he 
wrote  "  dream."  Moore's  song  is  a  version  of  the  opening  theme  of  Beetho- 
ven's Sonata  in  A  flat  (Op.  26),  set  to  some  inspired  verses  of  his  own, 
and  there  can  be  no  doubt  that  Thackeray  must  have  frequently  heard  it  sung, 
probably  by  Moore  himself  It  is  somewhat  singular  that  the  "  myrmidon" 
who  manufactured  the  "  Dream"  did  not  know  of  the  existence  of  the  song. 
His  presumed  ignorance  of  this  illustrious  example  only  increases  the  cour- 
age of  his  action,  and  renders  more  remarkable  his  long  immunity  from  de- 
tection. The  deception,  it  must  be  owned,  was  aided  by  the  most  adroit 
appeal  to  the  sympathetic  public  The  title  itself  is  a  lure  of  appalling  in- 
genuity. Nothing  could  be  more  circumstantial  than  the  superficial  evidence. 
The  large  inventiveness  of  the  legend  "  for  the  Piano-forte,  by  L.  v.  Beethoven," 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  '](i't 

is  supported  by  the  quotation  from  "  Philip"  and  by  another  quotation  that 
soberly  sets  forth  the  date  and  locality  of  "  St.  Jerome's  Dream." 

One  of  the  most  amazing  impostors  who  ever  lived  was  George  Psalmana- 
zar.  He  made  his  first  appearance  in  London  in  1703.  His  antecedents 
were  then  entirely  unknown  :  even  to  this  day  we  only  know  what  he  chose 
to  reveal.  His  real  name  is  still  a  mystery.  A  youth  of  nineteen,  he  had 
come  to  England  at  the  invitation  of  the  Bishop  of  London,  to  whom  he  had 
been  recommended  by  a  clergyman  named  Innes,  chaplain  of  a  Scotch  regi- 
ment then  in  garrison  at  Sluys,  Holland. 

These  were  his  preliminary  recommendations.  And  this  was  the  account 
he  gave  of  himself: 

His  name  was  George  Psalmanazar.  He  was  born  of  a  noble  family  in  the 
island  of  Formosa,  off  the  coast  of  China.  He  had  been  educated  by  a 
private  tutor  who  passed  for  a  Japanese,  and  gained  from  him  all  the  accom- 
plishments usual  to  the  Formosan  youth,  as  well  as  a  thorough  knowledge  of 
Latin.  When  the  tutor  suddenly  announced  his  determination  of  taking  a 
journey  to  the  Western  world,  whose  glories  he  had  frequently  unfolded  to 
the  eager  mind  of  the  young  pupil,  Psalmanazar  determined  to  accompany 
him.  The  tutor  agreed,  after  some  apparent  hesitation,  on  condition  that  the 
matter  should  be  kept  a  secret  from  the  youth's  father,  some  of  whose  money 
would  have  to  be  borrowed  for  the  occasion. 

The  fugitives  gained  the  coast  in  safety,  and  after  many  adventures  reached 
Avignon,  in  France.  Here  the  pretended  Japanese  tutor  threw  off  all  dis- 
guise and  appeared  in  his  true  colors.  He  was  in  truth  Father  de  Rode,  a 
missionary  member  of  the  Jesuit  College  at  Avignon,  who  had  encountered 
numerous  dangers  in  order  to  save  this  single  human  soul. 

But  the  soul  would  not  be  saved,  because  it  was  conjoined  with  a  mind  that 
detected  the  sophistry  of  Jesuitical  Christianity,  and  when  the  baffled  doctors 
threatened  him  with  the  Inquisition,  Psalmanazar  managed  to  escape  from 
Avignon.  After  leading  a  vagrant  life,  he  joined  the  service  of  the  Elector  of 
Cologne,  and  in  this  capacity  was  encountered  at  Sluys  by  the  aforesaid  Chap- 
lain Innes.  Lutheran  and  Catholic  had  sought  in  vain  to  convert  his  heathen 
incredulity,  but  what  consubstantiation  and  transubstantiation  had  failed  to  do 
was  effected  by  the  sweet  reasonableness  of  Mr.  Innes's  Anglican  arguments. 
Psalmanazar  was  baptized  by  the  chaplain,  who  straightway  communicated  the 
remarkable  story  to  the  Bishop  of  London. 

The  bishop  invited  the  chaplain  and  his  interesting  convert  over  to  England. 
In  London  he  meets  a  royal  welcome.  The  Tories,  headed  by  the  clergy,  are 
delighted  to  greet  a  proselyte  from  paganism  who  recognized  in  Anglicanism 
"a  religion  that  was  not  embarrassed  by  any  of  those  absurdities  which  are 
maintained  by  the  various  sects  in  Christendom."  The  Whigs  are  pleased  to 
find  their  worst  suspicions  of  Jesuitry  so  strongly  confirmed.  The  fashion- 
able world  is  interested  in  this  good-looking  and  accomplished  young  man, 
who,  according  to  his  own  account,  had  once  been  a  cannibal.  Philosophers 
and  wits  are  anxious  to  obtain  information  concerning  the  far-off  island  of 
Formosa.  He  is  petted  and  feted  in  the  highest  circles.  He  has  a  few 
detractors,  but  their  voices  are  drowned  in  the  general  hurrah.  The  book 
upon  which  he  is  engaged  will  establish  his  claims  beyond  possible  cavil. 

In  a  few  months  the  book  appears.  It  bears  the  following  title  :  "  An  His- 
torical and  Geographical  Description  of  Formosa,  an  island  subject  to  the 
Emperor  of  Japan,  giving  an  account  of  the  religion,  customs,  manners,  etc., 
of  the  inhabitants  ;  together  with  a  relation  of  what  happened  to  the  author 
in  his  travels,  particularly  his  conferences  with  the  Jesuits  and  others  in 
several  parts  of  Europe.  Also  the  history  and  reasons  of  his  conversion  to 
Christianity,  with  his  objections  against  it  in  defence  of  Paganism,  and  their 


768  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

answers,  etc.  To  which  is  prefixed  a  preface  in  vindication  of  himself  from 
the  reflections  of  a  Jesuit  lately  come  from  China,  with  an  account  of  what 
passed  between  them.  By  George  Psalmanazar,  a  native  of  the  said  island, 
now  in  London.     Illustrated  with  several  cuts." 

It  was  adorned  by  an  alphabet,  a  map  of  the  island,  plates  representing  the 
divinities  of  the  country,  costumes,  religious  ceremonies,  edifices,  and  vessels. 
It  was  speedily  translated  into  French  and  German. 

After  some  prefatory  remarks  upon  the  utter  unreliability  of  all  previous 
writers  on  Formosa,  the  author  devotes  a  hundred  and  fifty  pages  to  an  account 
of  his  own  adventures,  which  we  have  already  summarized,  and  then  gives  his 
famous  history  and  description  of  Formosa. 

And  first,  as  to  the  history.  That,  it  seems,  had  been  misunderstood  by 
every  previous  writer.  A  capital  error  made  the  island  a  dependency  of 
China,  whereas  in  fact  it  had  been  governed  for  nearly  two  hundred  years 
by  native  dynasties  before  a  usurper,  named  Merryaandanoo,  a  Chinese  fugi- 
tive, got  possession  of  the  Japanese  throne  and  subsequently  of  that  of  For- 
mosa. Formosa,  therefore,  was  a  portion  of  Japan,  and  not  of  China.  To 
establish  the  thing  beyond  cavil,  Psalmanazar  quotes  the  very  words  of  a  letter 
which  Merryaandanoo  addressed  to  the  native  monarch  whom  he  afterwards 
deposed. 

The  story  of  how  Merryaandanoo  (the  name  has  comic-opera  suggestions 
which  are  much  assisted  by  its  apparent  relationship  to  Merry-Andrew) — the 
story  of  how  this  bold,  enterprising,  and  unscrupulous  monarch  succeeded  in 
capturing  the  island  of  Formosa,  needs  a  new  Homer  to  sing  it  Indeed,  it 
is  obviously  borrowed  from  the  story  of  the  capture  of  Troy. 

He  had  usurped  the  throne  of  Japan,  it  appears,  by  the  blackest  of  perfi- 
dies, and  soon  cast  a  longing  eye  upon  Formosa. 

So  he  feigned  sickness.  All  the  native  gods  of  Japan  were  appealed  to, 
but  in  vain.  Sacrifices  were  offered  ;  the  divinities  seemed  to  turn  their 
nostrils  away  from  the  ascending  smoke.  Then  Merryaandanoo  declared 
that  he  would  appeal  from  the  home  gods  to  foreign  gods.  He  would  im- 
plore his  royal  cousin  of  Formosa  to  grant  permission  that  victims  should  be 
immolated  in  all  the  principal  temples  of  his  kingdom. 

A  letter  was  accordingly  framed  and  despatched.  His  Highness  of  For- 
mosa received  it  with  tears  of  joy.  The  priests  were  all  in  a  high  state  of 
exhilaration.  Here  was  a  chance  to  test  the  true  god  against  foreign  im- 
postors. An  answer  was  in  due  course  returned,  granting  to  Merryaandanoo 
the  permission  he  craved,  on  condition,  however,  that  if  the  Formosan  deity 
wrought  a  cure  the  worship  of  that  god  should  be  established  throughout 
the  Japanese  kingdom.     The  condition  was  at  once  accepted. 

Then  Merryaandanoo  caused  to  be  constructed  a  number  of  norimmonnos 
of  the  largest  size.  And  what  is  a  norimmonnos  i*  It  is  a  huge  sort  of  litter 
capable  of  containing  from  thirty  to  forty  people.  It  is  usually  divided  off 
into  compartments,  with  window-like  openings  to  admit  fresh  air.  The  litter 
is  carried  by  two  elephants. 

Now,  in  each  of  the  norimmonnos  the  wily  Merryaandanoo  caused  thirty 
soldiers  to  be  hidden  away.  To  better  deceive  the  Formosans,  oxen,  calves, 
or  sheep  were  also  placed  in  the  norimmonnos,  which  could  readily  be  seen 
through  the  windows  left  open  for  the  purpose.  To  the  ordinary  eye  it  would 
appear  that  the  litters  were  filled  only  with  the  victims  for  sacrifice. 

Then  the  norimmonnos,  three  hundred  in  all,  with  their  attendant  ele- 
phants, were  embarked  on  board  of  large  flat-boats  known  as  arkha-kasseos. 
These  are  huge  craft,  propelled  by  as  many  as  two  hundred  oars  on  each 
side. 

When  the  Formosans  saw  this  mighty  fleet  approaching  their  shores  they 


LITERARY  CURIOSIIIES.  7^9 

were  much  tickled.  The  great  Emperor  of  Japan  had  done  them  proud,  they 
thought,  in  sending  over  so  many  victims  to  be  sacrificed  to  the  native  god. 
Owing  to  the  veneration  which  sacrificial  animals  inspired  in  their  bosoms, 
they  did  not  dare  to  inspect  the  norimmonnos  too  closely,  but  stood  by  in 
rapt  admiration  while  the  backs  of  the  elephants  were  laden  with  their  sacred 
burdens.  A  magnificent  retinue  of  Japanese  officers  accompanied  them  to 
the  capital  city  of  Xt^rnetsa. 

Just  as  the  ceremonies  were  about  to  begin,  and  the  King  of  Formosa,  his 
courtiers  and  his  citizens,  were  looking  on  in  open-mouthed  admiration,  the 
signal  agreed  upon  was  given.  Out  poured  ten  thousand  Japanese  soldiers. 
The  Formosans  were  taken  by  surprise,  the  king  surrendered  on  the  sjDot, 
and  Merryaandanoo  neatly  and  expeditiously  possessed  himself  of  the  capital, 
and  later  of  the  entire  island,  without  shedding  a  drop  of  blood  ! 

Since  that  time  the  King  of  Japan  has  always  held  a  strong  garrison  in  the 
island,  and  sends  over  a  king  to  govern  it.  This  king  is  known  as  the  Tano 
Agon,  or  Superintendent ;  the  real  heirs  to  the  throne  bear  the  title  of  Baga- 
landro,  or  Viceroy,  and  have  little  more  than  the  empty  title,  a  yearly 
stipend,  and  the  right  to  wear  robes  of  a  very  magnificent  description. 

The  religion  of  the  country  is  polytheism.  One  of  its  chief  rites  is  the 
yearly  sacrifice  of  eighteen  thousand  boys'  hearts.  Note  the  figures.  We 
shall  have  to  recur  to  them  again.  Every  month  they  sacrifice  one  thousand 
beasts,  and  every  week  as  many  fowls  as  they  are  able. 

The  religious  ceremonies  of  the  Formosans  are  curious. 

"  I.  The  Formosans,  in  adoring  God,  use  various  postures  of  body,  accord- 
ing to  the  several  parts  of  religious  worship  they  are  performing  ;  for,  first, 
when  the  Jarhabadiond  is  publicly  read  in  their  temples,  every  one  of  them,  at 
least  if  he  be  capable  of  doing  it,  bends  a  little  the  right  knee,  and  lifts  up 
the  right  hand  towards  heaven. 

"2.  When  thanks  are  given  to  God,  then  all  of  them  fall  prostrate  on  the 
ground. 

"  3.  After  the  thanksgiving,  when  they  sing  songs  or  hymns,  they  are  to 
stand  up  with  their  hands  joined  together. 

"4.  When  prayers  are  made  for  the  sanctification  of  the  sacrifices,  then 
every  one  bends  the  left  knee  and  stretches  out  his  arms  wide  open.  But 
when  the  victims  are  a-slaying,  every  one  may  sit  upon  the  ground  (for  they 
have  no  seats  or  pews  such  as  you  use  here  in  England),  only  the  richer  sort 
have  a  cushion  to  sit  on  ;  while  the  flesh  is  a-boiling  every  one  stands  with 
his  hands  joined  together,  looking  .towards  the  upper  part  of  the  tabernacle. 
After  the  flesh  is  boiled,  every  one  of  the  people  takes  a  piece  of  the  flesh 
from  the  priest  and  eats  it,  and  what  remains  the  priests  keep  for  themselves." 

Religious  freedom,  however,  is  assured  to  all  save  Christians  :  "No  king 
can  prohibit  or  enjoin  any  religion  in  his  country  ;  but  every  subject  shall 
enjoy  the  liberty  of  his  conscience  to  worship  God  after  his  own  way,  except 
there  shall  be  any  found  that  are  Christians." 

Transmigration  is  one  of  the  doctrines  taught  by  the  clergy.  The  soul  of  a 
woman,  it  appears,  cannot  obtain  eternal  rest  until  it  has  informed  the  body 
of  a  man;  though  "some,  indeed,  think  that  if  it  animate  the  body  of  a 
male  beast,  it  is  sufficient  to  attain  as  great  happiness  as  it  is  capable  of." 

Another  article  of  the  Formosan  faith  seems  to  the  excellent  Mr.  Psal- 
manazar  the  converted  Formosan  a  deplorable  one.  And  this  is  the  worship 
which  even  the  sanest  and  most  pious  citizens  give  to  the  demon. 

They  hold,  indeed,  that  there  are  no  devils  save  aerial  spirits  who  people 
the  atmosphere  around  us.  These  they  imagine  to  be  the  souls  of  the  wicked, 
and  they  offer  sacrifices  to  them,  thinking  thus  to  propitiate  them.  They  ac- 
knowledge that  these  spirits  are  the  enemies  of  God  and  man,  but  they  are 
2H  yy  65 


77°  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

firmly  persuaded  that  all  public  and  private  calamities,  as  storms,  earthqualces, 
famines,  pestilences,  sicknesses,  and  so  on,  are  caused  by  these  spirits. 
Wherefore  whenever  any  affliction  seizes  them  they  rush  to  certain  moun- 
tains where  there  are  altars  raised  to  the  demon  or  chief  of  the  evil  spirits, 
and  prostrate  themselves  before  the  hideous  statues  that  surmount  the  altars, 
and  beat  their  breasts,  and  pray,  and  sacrifice  animals  of  all  kinds,  and  even 
children,  believing  that  the  blood  of  these  innocents  will  appease  the  anger 
of  the  demon. 

The  funerals  of  people  of  wealth  and  distinction  are  conducted  with  great 
pomp.  The  body  of  the  deceased  is  rubbed  with  perfumes  and  laid  out 
on  a  table  for  thirty-two  hours.  Parents  and  friends  assemble  around  it. 
Food  and  drink  are  served  to  them,  of  which  they  partake  in  silence. 

The  funeral  cortege  is  marshalled  in  this  order.  First  of  all  walks  a  city 
magnate  bearing  the  arms  of  the  deceased  ;  then  a  lot  of  musicians  singing 
and  playing  slow  and  subdued  airs ;  then  the  military,  armed  with  lances, 
bows,  cross-bows,  and  swords  ;  then  the  monks,  preceded  by  an  officer  of  the 
convent  bearing  the  emblem  of  the  order  and  followed  by  their  Soidleto,  or 
superior.  The  secular  priests  follow,  and  in  their  wake  comes  the  wagon 
carrying  the  animals  which  are  to  be  sacrificed.  This  wagon  is  drawn  by  an 
elephant.  The  weepers  are  next.  They  march  immediately  before  the  body, 
which  is  carried  in  a  sort  of  litter  covered  with  black  and  surmounted  in  the 
middle  by  a  small  tower.  This  litter  (which  is  called  norimmonnos  ach 
boskos)  is  borne  on  the  backs  of  two  elephants  covered  with  black  cloth  in 
such  a  way  that  nothing  can  be  seen  save  the  head  of  the  first  one.  On  this 
cloth  are  worked  the  armorial  devices  of  the  deceased  and  of  his  ancestors. 
Last  of  all  come  the  relatives  and  friends  of  the  dead. 

When  the  procession  has  arrived  at  the  sacrificial  altar,  priests  and  monks 
pray  for  the  sanctification  of  the  animals,  they  are  duly  slaughtered  and  burnt, 
and  then  the  body  itself  is  cremated  with  appropriate  ceremonies. 

Those  who  hold  that  the  Formosans  are  olive-skinned  are  greatly  in  error. 
The  upper  classes,  especially,  are  as  fair  as  Europeans,  owing  to  their  habit 
of  living  during  the  hot  season  in  caves  or  in  tents  kept  cool  by  the  continual 
sprinkling  of  water.  Nor  are  the  Formosans  gigantic  in  size,  as  some  authors 
assert.  They  are  rather  below  than  above  the  middle  size,  and  the  ladies 
especially  are  very  beautiful,  so  much  so  that  some  hold  the  Formosan  and 
the  Turkish  women  to  be  the  fairest  in  the  world.  In  a  foot-note  the  author 
adds  with  becoming  gallantry  that  even  were  the  Georgians  willing  to  cede  them 
the  palm  in  this  respect,  it  might  well  be  contested  by  the  ladies  of  England. 

Their  dress,  from  the  descriptions,  does  not  differ  very  materially  from  the 
European  in  fashion,  though  its  materials  are  sometimes  leopard-,  tiger-,  and 
bear-skins,  which  would  seem  strangely  unsuited  to  a  tropical  country. 

The  national  architecture,  too,  appears  to  be  more  European  in  character 
than  one  would  have  expected,  and  might  be  described  as  a  judicious  ad- 
mixture of  the  Chinese  and  the  classical. 

The  Formosans  have  no  carriages  ;  their  principal  vehicles  are  the  norim- 
monnos, which  we  have  already  described.  These  vary  in  size  and  in  mag- 
nificence. 

The  norimmonnos  of  the  viceroy  is  from  eight  to  nine  feet  in  height  by 
twelve  in  breadth.  It  is  upholstered  inside  with  silk  and  cloth-of-gold,  and 
is  covered  on  the  outside  with  pure  gold.  Two  elephants,  richly  caparisoned, 
are  the  bearers.  The  viceroy  takes  his  seat  within,  accompanied  by  his 
Carilhan,  or  general,  together  with  some  ten  or  twelve  of  their  wives,  when- 
ever he  goes  to  Japan  to  pay  formal  homage  to  the  emperor. 

The  norimmonnos  of  the  nobility  and  gentry  are  not  more  than  seven  feet 
high  and  ten  wide.     They  are  of  wood,  painted  and  gilded. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  771 

The  king  does  not  possess  a  norimmonnos,  as  he  is  not  required  to  travel 
to  Japan  for  the  purpose  of  homage.  He  rides  his  horse  on  land,  and  varies 
this  out-door  existence  by  going  down  to  the  sea  in  a  balcon  or  baton,  a  sort 
of  barge  or  galley,  with  a  tower  in  the  middle.  Other  dignitaries  also  have 
their  balcons,  but  these  are  smaller  and  less  gorgeous. 

Some  of  the  more  outlandish  habits  and  customs  of  the  Formosans  must 
be  mentioned  here. 

Polygamy  is  practised  by  those  who  can  afford  it.  But  if  the  first  wife,  or 
an  only  wife,  bears  her  husband  no  children,  he  may  kill  her  and  install  an- 
other in  her  place.  The  oldest  son  of  the  first  wife  is  the  heir  to  one-half 
the  husband's  fortune,  and  in  case  the  first  wife  has  no  child,  that  portion  of 
the  estate  is  forfeited  to  the  crown.  Hence  the  king  keeps  a  watchful  and  a 
thrifty  eye  over  all  marriages. 

Terrible  penalties  prevent  the  practice  of  polygamy  by  those  who  cannot 
afford  it.  "  If  any  one  takes  more  wives  than  his  means  will  maintain,  he  is 
to  be  beheaded."  Each  wife  lives  in  a  separate  chamber,  but  all  of  them  take 
their  meals  together.  "  No  conversation  is  allowed  between  any  man  and 
another  man's  wife,  nor  between  a  bachelor  and  a  maid,  but  in  the  greatest 
feasts  and  diversions  every  one  keeps  among  those  of  his  own  family." 

Cannibalism  is  not  habitual,  but  the  inhabitants  eat  the  bodies  of  prisoners 
of  war  and  of  malefactors  legally  executed.  "  The  flesh  of  the  latter  is  our 
greatest  dainty,  and  is  four  times  dearer  than  other  rare  and  delicious  food." 
Husbands,  also,  who  have  reason  to  be  offended  with  their  wives  condemn 
them  to  the  family  larder.  In  aggravated  cases  the  husband  may  send  for 
the  lady's  relatives,  and  "sometimes  with  fiery  indignation  he  strikes  her  in 
the  breast  with  a  dagger,  and  sometimes,  to  show  his  resentment,  he  will 
take  her  heart  out  hastily  and  eat  it  before  her  relations." 

The  Formosans  are  also  accustomed  to  beat  live  serpents  with  rods  "  until 
they  be  very  angry,  and  when  they  are  in  this  furious  passion  all  the  venom 
that  was  in  the  body  ascends  to  the  head,  which  being  then  cut  off,  there  re- 
mains no  more  poison  in  the  body,  which  may  therefore  be  safely  eaten." 
Elsewhere  the  author  commends  this,  taken  in  the  early  morning  with  a  pipe 
of  tobacco  and  a  cup  of  tea,  as,  "in  my  humble  opinion,  the  most  wholesome 
breakfast  a  man  can  make." 

The  laws,  as  a  rule,  seem  to  be  much  like  those  which  prevail  in  European 
countries,  save  that  the  punishments  are  more  vindictive  and  sanguinary.  A 
murderer  is  to  be  "hanged  up  by  the  feet  with  his  head  downward"  for  a 
longer  or  shorter  time,  and  is  then  "shot  to  death  with  arrows."  "  If  he  be 
both  a  robber  and  a  murderer,  he  shall  be  crucified."  A  thief  is  punished 
with  hanging  or  with  continual  imprisonment,  or  with  whipping,  or  with  a 
fine.  An  adulterer  is  fined  or  whipped  for  the  first  offence,  and  beheaded  for 
the  second.  A  blasphemer  is  burnt  alive.  A  slanderer  has  his  tongue  bored 
through  with  a  hot  iron,  and  one  who  bears  false  witness  loses  that  member 
altogether.     A  traitor  is  "tortured  with  all  imaginable  torments." 

A  son  or  daughter  who  strikes  his  or  her  parents,  relations,  or  superiors, 
shall  have  his  or  her  legs  and  arms  cut  off,  and,  a  stone  being  fastened  to  the 
maimed  and  helpless  trunk,  it  is  cast  into  the  sea  or  river. 

Evidently  any  child  who  wishes  its  days  to  be  long  and  pleasant  in  that  land 
must  honor  father  and  mother  and  uncle  and  aunt. 

In  his  chapter  on  the  Formosan  language  the  author  dwells  at  much  length 
upon  its  alphabet  and  grammatical  structure,  and  adds  specimens  of  the 
written  character,  which  are  to  be  read  from  right  to  left, — plausible  enough  to 
mystify  even  men  of  culture,  acquainted  only  with  the  classical  languages  of 
Europe,  and  ignorant  of  the  rudiments  of  comparative  philology. 

The  book  was  a  success.     The  first  edition  was  rapidly  sold,  and  a  second 


772 


HANDY-BOOK  OF 


was  called  for.  But  though  the  learned  world  was  staggered,  and  a  large  pro- 
portion convinced,  the  book  was  too  full  of  absurdities,  the  author  too  young 
and  ignorant,  to  gain  universal  credence. 

Evidence  is  given  in  the  second  edition  that  there  had  grown  up  a  formi- 
dable crop  of  objections  against  the  narrative.  He  treated  them,  however, 
with  a  debonair  air  that  shows  him  to  have  been  an  agile  master  of  logical 
fence.  For  example,  when  it  was  urged  that  the  annual  sacrifice  of  eighteen 
thousand  male  infants  would  soon  depopulate  the  island,  he  explained  that 
he  referred  to  the  number  legally  demanded  by  the  priesthood.  Bribery, 
prompted  by  parental  affection,  undoubtedly  diminished  that  number  very 
greatly.  Again,  when  asked  how  he  could  remember  the  very  words  of  Mer- 
ryaandanoo's  letter,  he  replied,  "My  father  has  a  copy  of  the  letter  by  him." 

But  his  cavillers  were  not  to  be  silenced.  To  use  a  current  but  excellent 
phrase,  he  was  continually  "giving  himself  away"  by  contradictions  and  mis- 
statements made  in  the  heat  of  personal  altercation  with  his  disputants. 
Slowly  and  reluctantly  the  public  mind  was  brought  to  acquiesce  in  the  view 
that  he  was  an  impostor.  He  fell  from  favor,  and  almost  disappeared  from 
public  view.  His  biographer  states  that  he  consorted  with  the  very  lowest 
ranks  of  society  and  crawled  in  the  vilest  pursuits. 

But  we  are  not  yet  at  the  end  of  the  surprises  reserved  for  us  by  Psalma- 
nazar. 

In  1 716,  at  the  age  of  thirty-two,  he  experienced  a  genuine  and  lasting 
change  of  heart.  The  squalid  adventurer  became  the  model  of  modest  virtue, 
the  audacious  forger  the  pattern  of  conscientious  scholarship. 

No  penitent  could  have  done  more  honor  to  religion.  He  disavowed  his 
early  impostures,  took  occasion  to  introduce  into  a  treatise  upon  geography  a 
rectification  on  the  subject  of  his  former  description  of  Formosa,  and  finally 
wrote  a  detailed  confession  designed  for  publication  after  his  death. 

He  lived  to  be  seventy-nine  years  old,  busying  himself  for  half  a  century 
upon  a  "Universal  History"  and  other  meritorious  but  now  forgotten  works. 
Dr.  Johnson  knew  him  in  those  days,  and  more  than  once  bore  testimony  to 
the  uprightness  and  sincerity  of  the  former  adventurer.  "  He  was,"  Johnson 
told  Boswell,  "  one  of  the  men  for  whom  he  entertained  the  greatest  respect." 

In  1764,  a  year  after  his  death,  his  memoirs  were  published,  containing  a 
full  confession  of  what  the  writer  calls  "  the  base  and  shameful  imposture  of 
passing  upon  the  world  for  a  native  of  Formosa  and  a  convert  to  Christianity, 
and  backing  it  with  a  fictitious  account  of  that  island,  and  of  my  own  travels, 
conversion,  etc.,  all  or  most  of  it  hatched  in  my  own  brain  without  regard  to 
truth  or  honesty." 

Still  he  does  not  reveal  his  real  name.  He  begs  to  be  excused  from  naming 
his  country  or  family,  "  or  anything  that  might  cast  a  reflection  upon  either," 
but  assures  the  reader  "  that  out  of  Europe  I  was  not  born,  nor  educated,  nor 
ever  travelled."  It  has  been  plausibly  conjectured,  however,  from  various 
admissions  made  here  and  there  in  the  memoirs,  that  he  was  a  native  of  the 
southern  part  of  France. 

His  parents,  he  tells  us,  were  extremely  poor.  His  father  came  of  an 
ancient  but  decayed  family,  but  through  stress  of  circumstances  had  been 
obliged  to  leave  his  mother  when  the  boy  was  only  five  years  old  and  live  a 
long  distance  away.  So  his  care  and  education  were  left  entirely  to  the 
mother.  She  was  a  zealous  Catholic,  cherishing  a  natural  hatred  for  Prot- 
estants and  Protestantism,  but  withal  an  excellent  and  well-meaning  woman. 
Poor  as  she  was,  she  stinted  herself  of  everything  but  the  necessaries  of  life 
in  order  to  give  the  boy  an  education. 

When  six  years  old  he  was  sent  to  a  free  school  taught  by  two  Franciscan 
monks.     Here  his  uncommon  talent  for  languages  was  early  recognized.     He 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  773 

was  transferred  to  the  Latin  form,  where,  although  his  classmates  were  twice 
his  years,  he  outstripped  them  all  in  a  comparatively  brief  space  of  time, 
carrying  off  the  highest  prizes,  and  being  "  singled  out  as  the  flower  of  the 
flock"  whenever  priests,  monks,  gentlemen,  or  other  persons  passed  through 
the  city.  All  tiiis  made  him  assuming  and  arrogant.  Nevertheless,  he  was 
never  guilty  of  a  fault  at  school  :  "so,  let  me  do  what  I  would  out  of  it,  I  was 
never  punished  for  it  as  the  other  boys  were,  but  had,  perhaps,  a  soft  repri- 
mand or  some  easy  task  assigned  me  by  way  of  penance." 

The  good  boy  of  the  school,  who  won  all  the  prizes  and  escaped  all  the 
reprimands,  was  naturally  no  favorite  with  his  school-fellows.  But  he  held 
his  head  high,  and  they  dared  not  vent  their  displeasure  in  any  other  way  than 
in  words. 

At  nine  years  of  age  he  was  removed  to  a  Jesuit  college.  Here  at  first  he 
found  it  hard  work  to  keep  up  with  his  class,  and  he  who  had  been  used  to  be 
foremost  found  it  a  shame  now  to  be  middlemost.  So  he  worked  hard,  and 
acquitted  himself  with  much  credit.  Subsequently  he  studied  theology.  Then 
he  left  school  and  tried  teaching.  But  in  this  he  was  not  a  success.  He  was 
naturally  indolent.  When  he  found  that  his  pupil  was  not  only  indolent,  but 
stupid,  he  gave  up  trying  to  teach  him,  and  master  and  pupil  "  spent  more  of 
our  time  in  playing  on  the  violin  and  flute  than  at  our  books." 

His  next  situation  was  with  two  small  boys,  whose  mother  proved  some- 
what too  demonstrative  to  him.  But  he  remained  cold  to  all  her  advances, 
owing  not  so  much  to  virtue,  he  acknowledges,  as  to  "my  natural  sheepish 
bashfulness  and  inexperienced  youth."     So  she  procured  his  dismissal. 

He  was  now  in  sore  straits.  He  took  the  road  to  Avignon,  and  made  his 
first  essay  as  an  impostor.  He  claimed  to  be  a  sufferer  for  religion, — his  love 
for  the  Church  had  estranged  his  father  and  cut  off  his  financial  supplies.  He 
was  praised  and  pitied.  But  he  wanted  hard  cash,  and  that  was  not  forth- 
coming. So  he  tried  another  plan.  He  procured  a  certificate  to  the  effect 
that  "  he  was  a  young  student  of  theology  of  Irish  extract,"  then  going  on  a 
pilgrimage  to  Rome. 

But  how  to  obtain  a  pilgrim's  garb? 

He  remembered  that  a  returned  pilgrim  had  left  his  cloak  and  staff  in  a 
neighboring  church  as  a  token  of  gratitude  for  his  happy  return.  The  church 
was  never  empty.  But  fearless  audacity  is  always  successful.  Psalmanazar 
simply  walked  boldly  in  at  noon-time  and  carried  off  both  cloak  and  staff. 
He  had  an  answer  ready  prepared  in  case  he  was  stopped  and  questioned. 
He  would  have  said  that  he  imagined  the  things  were  placed  there  for  the 
accommodation  of  penniless  pilgrims. 

"  How  far  such  a  poor  excuse  would  have  gone  I  knew  not,  neither  did  I 
trouble  my  head  about  it  ;  however,  I  escaped  without  such  an  inquiry,  and 
carried  it  off  unmolested,  and  made  what  haste  I  could  to  some  private 
corner,  where  I  threw  my  cloak  over  my  shoulders,  and  walked  with  a  sancti- 
fied grace  with  the  staff  in  my  hand,  till  I  was  out  of  the  city." 

So  accoutred,  and  with  the  proper  certificate  in  his  hand,  he  begged  his 
way  in  fluent  Latin,  "accosting  only  clergymen  or  persons  of  figure,  by  whom 
I  could  be  understood  and  was  most  likely  to  be  relieved." 

He  was  very  successful, — so  successful,  indeed,  that  but  for  his  vanity  and 
his  extravagance  he  might  easily  have  saved  a  good  deal  of  money.  But  as 
soon  as  he  had  sufficient  for  the  day  he  would  quit  begging  and  retire  to  some 
inn,  where  he  spent  money  as  freely  as  he  got  it,  "  not  without  some  such 
awkward  tokens  of  generosity  as  better  suited  with  my  vanity  than  my  present 
circumstances." 

Should  he  go  home,  or  pursue  his  journey  to  the  Eternal  City }  He  delib- 
erated the  question  for  a  while.  Filial  piety  finally  carried  the  day.  His 
65* 


774  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

mother  was  overjoyed  to  see  him,  though  pained  at  his  poverty-struck  appear- 
ance. A  few  days  after  his  return  she  proposed  that  he  should  proceed,  still  in 
pilgrim  guise,  to  visit  his  father.  He  accejited  the  suggestion  and  started  on 
his  travels.  Though  his  pilgrim  garb  should  have  protected  him  from  robbers, 
he  did  not  feel  entirely  safe.     And  no  wonder. 

"  I  met  frequently  with  some  objects  that  made  me  shrink,  though  it  was  a 
considerable  high-road.  Now  and  then  at  some  lonely  place  lay  the  carcass 
of  a  man  rotting  and  stinking  on  the  ground  by  the  way-side,  with  a  rope 
about  his  neck,  which  was  fastened  to  a  post  about  two  or  three  yards'  dis- 
tance, and  these  were  the  bodies  of  highwaymen,  or  rather  of  soldiers,  sailors, 
mariners,  or  even  galley-slaves,  disbanded  after  the  peace  of  Ryswick,  who, 
having  neither  home  nor  occupation,  used  to  infest  the  roads  in  troops,  plunder 
towns  and  villages,  and  when  taken  were  hanged  at  the  country  towns  by 
dozens,  or  even  scores  sometimes,  after  which  their  bodies  were  then  exposed 
along  the  highway  in  terrorem.  At  other  places  one  met  with  crosses,  either 
of  wood  or  stone,  the  highest  not  above  two  or  three  feet,  with  inscriptions  to 
this  purport :  '  Pray  for  the  soul  of  A.  B.,  or  of  a  stranger,  who  was  found 
murdered  in  this  spot  !'  " 

Sights  enough  to  discourage  even  a  brave  and  resolute  youth  ! 

Nevertheless  he  pressed  ahead,  and  finally  reached  the  village  where  his 
father  dwelt.  That  gentleman  professed  joy  at  seeing  him,  but  was  unable  to 
ofifer  any  assistance.  Indeed,  the  son  was  surprised  to  find  that  his  father 
dwelt  even  more  meanly  than  he  had  been  led  to  anticipate.  But  though  he 
had  no  money,  the  old  gentleman  had  lots  of  advice  to  give.  He  suggested 
that  the  young  man  should  continue  visiting  the  various  parts  of  Europe  at 
free  cost.     The  advice  was  accepted. 

Psalmanazar  was  now  sixteen  years  of  age.  His  wits  had  been  sharpened 
by  necessity.  He  determined  to  find  some  more  "cunning,  safe,  and  effectual 
way  of  travelling"  than  he  had  hitherto  pursued.  To  pass  as  an  Irishman 
and  a  sufferer  for  religion  not  only  exposed  him  to  the  constant  risk  of  detec- 
tion, but  "came  short  of  the  merit  and  admiration  I  had  expected  from  it." 

He  would  leave  off  the  Irish  and  become  a  Japanese.  His  notions  of  the 
East  were  vague,  but  they  were  not  much  vaguer  than  those  of  even  the 
learned  and  the  travelled.  The  average  European  knew  less  than  he  did.  "  I 
was  rash  enough  to  think  that  what  I  wanted  of  a  right  knowledge  of  them  I 
might  make  up  by  the  strength  of  a  pregnant  invention."  So  he  proceeded 
to  excogitate  both  an  alphabet  and  names  of  letters,  together  with  many  other 
particulars  equally  difficult,  such  as  a  considerable  piece  of  a  new  language 
and  grammar,  a  new  division  of  the  year  into  twenty  months,  a  new  religion, 
etc.  Then  he  forged  a  certificate  to  bear  out  his  assumed  character,  and  ap- 
pended to  it  the  seal  belonging  to  his  Avignon  certificate. 

On  the  whole,  he  found  that  he  was  generally  credited  not  only  in  Germany, 
but  in  Brabant  and  in  Flanders.  His  wonderful  story,  his  fluency  in  Latin, 
his  smattering  of  various  sciences,  procured  him  more  money  and  attention 
than  an  ordinary  pilgrim  might  have  expected.  After  many  adventures,  he 
finally  joined  a  Dutch  regiment  as  a  recruit.  He  still  pretended  to  be  a  Jap- 
anese, but  no  longer  a  convert  to  Christianity.  He  found  himself  an  object 
of  greater  interest  than  ever.  Catholic  priests  and  Protestant  clergymen 
sought  to  convert  him.  But  when  Papists  and  Protestants  are  so  intermingled, 
he  explains,  their  guides  are  better  stored  with  arguments  against  each  other 
than  against  the  common  enemies  of  the  Christian  faith.  Hence  in  his 
assumed  character  as  a  heathen  he  won  an  easy  controversial  victory  over 
his  opponents. 

In  due  time  the  regiment  in  which  Psalmanazar  had  enrolled  himself  was 
ordered  to  Sluys.     A  Scotch  regiment  in  the  Dutch  pay  was  quartered  here. 


.  LITERAR  Y  CURIOSITIES.  7  75 

Brigadier  Lander  was  the  colonel  of  the  regiment,  as  well  as  governor  of  the 
place.  A  good,  honest  Scotchman,  he  was  anxious  to  convert  the  interesting 
Japanese  recruit  to  Christianity. 

For  this  purpose  he  introduced  him  to  Chaplain  Innes.  At  first  Innes, 
too,  was  du[)ed.  But  he  speedily  discovered  the  fraud.  Did  he  denounce  it? 
Not  at  all.  He  was  too  canny  for  that.  He  broadly  hinted  that  it  would  be 
well  for  both  of  them  if  Psalmanazar  would  consent  to  be  baptized,  and  then 
accompany  him  to  London. 

Psalmanazar  profited  by  the  hint.  Brigadier  Lander  stood  sponsor,  Chap- 
lain Innes  performed  the  ceremony.  Then  the  latter  wrote  a  letter  to  the 
Bishop  of  London  about  his  interesting  convert 

What  followed  we  have  already  detailed. 


N. 

N,  the  fourteenth  letter  and  eleventh  consonant  of  the  English  alphabet, 
derived  through  the  Latin  and  Greek  from  the  Phoenician.  In  the  English 
prayer-book  N  is  used  in  the  same  way  as  the  algebraic  x  in  mathematics,  to 
indicate  the  unknown  name  of  some  person  in  question.  For  example,  in 
the  baptismal  service  the  priest  is  directed  to  say,  "  N.,  I  baptize  thee,"  etc. 
In  the  catechism  the  "  Question.  What  is  your  name?"  is  followed  by  the 
"  Answer.  N.  or  M."  Again,  in  the  marriage  service  and  in  the  formula  for 
publishing  the  banns  the  initials  used  are  "  M.  and  N."  Much  ingenious 
conjecture  has  been  spent  on  the  question  as  to  the  ulterior  meaning  of  these 
initials.  It  has  been  suggested  that  M.  stands  for  Mary  and  N.  for  Nicholas. 
But  the  people  who  make  this  suggestion  forget  that  from  the  position  of  the 
initials  M.  is  the  man  and  N.  the  woman.  Therefore  there  is  more  plausi- 
bility in  the  guess  that  M.  stands  for  maritus  ("  husband")  and  N.  for  nnpta 
("bride").  But  even  this  theory  is  disposed  of  by  the  fact  that  in  the  more  an- 
cient prayer-books  the  letter  M  makes  no  appearance,  the  form  in  all  cases 
where  there  is  more  than  one  party  being  "  N.  and  N."  It  is  therefore  more 
than  probable  that  N  was  originally  adopted  as  a  convenient  letter,  and  the 
initial  oi  nomen,  or  name,  and  that  in  due  course  M  was  added,  not  only  from 
its  cognate  quality,  but  as  the  next  preceding  letter, — the  next  succeeding  one, 
O,  being,  for  obvious  reasons,  objectionable.  Or  M  may  stand  for  double 
N  =  names. 

Nach  Canossa  gehen  wir  nicht  (Ger.,  "  We  are  not  going  to  Canossa"), 
the  answer  made  by  Bismarck  to  the  clerical  party  in  1872.  Canossa,  it  will 
be  remembered,  was  the  place  whither  Emperor  Henry  IV.  of  Germany  was 
summoned  by  Pope  Gregory  VII.  after  a  long  and  bitter  struggle  for  su- 
premacy, in  which  Henry  was  obliged  to  confess  himself  vanquished.  It  was 
at  the  dead  of  winter  when  the  humbled  monarch  reached  the  castle  of 
Canossa,  among  the  mountains  of  Modena  in  Italy,  but  he  was  only  ad- 
mitted to  the  space  between  the  first  and  second  walls,  standing  there  bare- 
footed and  fasting  until  sunset.  Not  till  the  morning  of  the  fourth  day, 
January  25,  1077,  was  he  ushered  into  the  Pope's  presence.  Here  he  swore 
to  be  faithful  in  future  to  the  command  of  the  Church.  The  struggle  in  1872 
lietween  Pope  and  Kaiser  terminated  for  the  moment  in  the  passage  of  the 
Falk  laws,  which  disqualified  the  Pope's  appointees  from  performing  their 
clerical  functions  if  they  were  disapproved  by  the  state  or  refused  to  take 
the  required  oaths  before  the  civil  authority.  Bismarck's  phrase  was  used  in 
the  German  Reichstag,  May  14,  1872. 


776  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

NaiL  To  hit  the  nail  on  the  head,  a  popular  phrase  common  to  many 
languages,  meaning  to  furnish  a  clinching  argument,  to  strike  home,  tlie 
metaphor  being  obviously  borrowed  from  the  fact  that  lo  drive  a  nail  home  it 
must  be  hit  full  and  square  on  the  head. 

This  hitteth  the  naile  on  the  bed. 

Heywood  :  Proverbs,  ch.  xi. 

You  have  there  hit  the  nail  on  the  head. 

Rabelais,  Book  iii.,  ch.  xx.\i. 

Nail,  Down  on  the,  a  slang  phrase  for  a  cash  payment.  The  nail  is 
sometimes  supposed  to  be  a  figure  of  speech  for  the  nail-studded  counter 
whereon  the  money  might  be  paid.  But  it  is  more  likely  a  reminiscence  of 
the  classical  phrase  "in  unguem"  or  "ad  unguem,"  signifying  "to  a  nicety," 
"to  the  finger-tips."  In  a  parliamentary  deed  of  King  Robert  the  Bruce 
dated  July  15,  1326  (Scots  Acts,  i.  476),  occurs  the  phrase,  "  Pro  quibus  prisis 
et  cariagiis  plena  fiat  soiutio  super  unguem"  ("  For  which  prises  and  carriages 
full  payment  shall  be  made  on  the  nail").  An  early  use  of  the  English  phrase 
is  quoted  in  Nares's  Glossary  : 

When  they  were  married,  her  dad  did  not  fai) 
For  to  pay  down  four  hundred  pounds  on  the  nail. 

The  Reading  Garland  (no  date). 

The  French  have  a  corresponding  phrase,  "  payer  rubis  sur  I'ongle."  This 
grew  out  of  the  custom  called  "  faire  rubis  sur  I'ongle"— />.,  to  drain  a 
tumbler  so  completely  that  there  remains  in  it  only  one  drop  of  wine,  which, 
being  put  on  the  nail,  looks  like  a  ruby. 


Je  sirote  mon  vin,  quel  qu'il  soit,  vieux,  1 

Je  fais  rubis  sur  I'ongle  et  n'y  mets  jamais  d'eau. 

Regnard  :  Folies  Amoureuses,  iii.  4. 

Hence  the  phrase  came  to  mean  to  pay  punctually : 
La  sottise  en  est  faite  ; 
II  faut  la  boire  ;  aussi  la  buvons-nous 


O'Keefe,  in  his  "  Recollections,"  tells  of  a  pillar  in  the  centre  of  the  Limerick 
Exchange  with  a  circular  disk  or  plate  of  copper,  about  three  feet  in  diameter, 
laid  across  the  top,  and  called  "the  Nail."  On  this  metal  disk  the  earnest 
of  all  stock-exchange  bargains  had  to  be  paid.  A  similar  custom  prevailed  at 
Bristol,  where  before  the  Exchange  were  placed  four  pillars,  called  "nails," 
intended  for  the  like  purpose.  O'Keefe  believes  that  here  is  the  origin  of 
the  phrase ;  but  in  fact  the  phrase  gave  the  name  to  the  pillars. 

Nail-money.  This  was  the  six  crowns  given  in  the  days  of  chivalry,  by 
each  knight  who  came  to  take  part  in  a  tournament,  to  the  "  roy  des  harnoys" 
(herald)  for  affixing  his  arms  to  the  pavilion. 

Nails,  Twopenny,  etc.  The  origin  of  the  expression  twopenny,  six- 
penny, tenpenny,  etc.,  as  applied  to  nails  lies  in  an  English  corruption  of  the 
word  pounds.  Anciently  nails  were  made  a  specified  number  of  pounds  to 
the  thousand,  and  this  standard  is  still  recognized  in  England  and  other 
countries.  For  instance,  in  England  a  tenpenny  nail  is  understood  to  be  one 
of  a  kind  of  which  it  would  require  one  thousand  to  make  ten  pounds,  and  a 
sixpenny  nail  one  of  a  kind  of  which  an  equal  number  would  make  six  pounds. 
"  Penny"  is  really  a  survival  of  the  English  "  pun,"  a  corruption  of  "  pound." 
Formerly  the  pound-mark  {£)  followed  the  figures  designating  the  size  of 
the  nails,  thus,  2£,  6£,  10^,  and  so  on,  but  this  in  time  gave  way  to  the 
pence-mark  {d),  as  at  present. 


I 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  777 

Namby-pamby,  affected,  artificial,  childish.  Pope  applied  the  word  to 
the  verses  addressed  to  Lord  Carteret's  children  by  Ambrose  Philips.  The 
first  word  is  a  baby  way  of  pronouncing  Amby,  or  Ambrose  ;  the  second  is  a 
jingling  corruption  of  the  surname.  Macaulay  accordingly  says  correctly 
tiiat  this  sort  of  verse  "  lias  been  so  called  after  the  name  of  its  author." 

Name,  What's  in  a?  This  famous  inquiry  is  put  into  Juliet's  mouth  in 
"  Romeo  and  Juliet,"'  Act  ii.,  Sc.  2  : 

What's  in  a  name?     That  which  we  call  a  rose 
By  any  other  name  would  smell  as  sweet  ; 
bo  Romeo  would,  were  he  not  Romeo  called, 
Retain  that  dear  perfection  which  he  owes 
Without  that  title. 

In  "  Love's  Labor's  Lost,"  Act  i.,  Sc.  i,  Shakespeare  had  already  made  use 
of  a  similar  sentiment : 

Small  have  continual  plodders  ever  won. 

Save  base  authority,  from  others'  books. 
These  earthly  godfathers  of  heaven's  lights. 

That  give  a  name  to  every  fixed  star, 
Have  no  more  profit  of  their  shining  nights 

Than  those  that  walk  and  wot  not  what  they  are. 
Too  much  to  know  is  to  know  naught  but  fame  ; 
And  every  godfather  can  give  a  name. 

Tennyson,  in  "Maud,"  Part  IL,  2,  has  a  parallel  thought: 

See  what  a  lovely  shell. 

****** 
What  is  it?     A  learned  man 

Could  give  it  a  clumsy  name. 
Let  him  name  it  who  can, 

The  beauty  would  be  the  same. 

Emerson  in  his  poem  of  "  Blight"  has  an  equally  scornful  reference  to 
those  sciolists  who 

Love  not  the  flower  they  pluck  and  know  it  not. 
And  all  their  botany  is  Latin  names. 

Nameless  City,  i.e.,  the  most  ancient  Rome,  which  was  said  to  have  had 
another  and  older  name,  which  it  was  death  to  pronounce.  This  mysterious 
name  is  supposed  to  have  been  Valentia,  of  which  the  Greek  word  'Pw//??  is  a 
translation.  Of  'Pw//j?,  the  Greek  form  of  Rome,  the  earliest  recorded  use  is 
made  by  Aristotle,  although  this  does  not  exclude  the  possibility,  on  the  con- 
trary would  seem  to  point  to  the  probability,  of  its  earlier  use,  and  that  it  was 
the  common  and  current  name  of  the  city  at  the  time.  The  city  was  known 
by  other  local  names,  but  "all  are  inferior,  I  think,  to  the  one  sacred  and 
proverbial  name  which  belonged  to  Rome.  They  take  many  words  to  convey 
one  idea.  In  one  word,  the  secret  qualifying  name  of  the  ancient  city,  many 
ideas  found  expression, —  Valentia!"  (Dr.  DoRAN.) 

Names  assumied  in  religion.  It  is  well  known  that  Popes  change  their 
name  on  assuming  the  tiara,  as  do  the  members  of  various  religious  orders 
when  they  take  the  vows.  An  ancient  tradition,  mentioned  as  an  on-dit  by 
Platina  and  accepted  as  a  fact  by  Machiavelli  {^History  of  Florence,  Book  i.,  ch. 
i.),  asserts  that  Sergius  II.,  who  became  Pope  in  a.d.  844,  set  the  fashion 
which  has  been  followed  by  nearly  all  his  successors.  "  It  has  been  said  that 
Sergius's  name  was  originally  Osporci  [pig-face],  and  that  on  his  election  he 
changed  this  to  Sergius  because  of  the  disagreeable  nature  of  his  original 
appellation.  The  custom  has  come  down  to  our  days,  and  the  Popes  almost 
all  have,  in  their  creation,  altered  their  family  name  for  some  name  of  their  own 
selection."  (Platina  :  /;/  Vita  Sergii.)  But  this  story  has  been  fully  refuted. 
Indeed,  it  carries  its  refutation  on  its  face,  for  the  Popes  had  been  always  called 


7^8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

by  their  first  names,  so  that  the  assumjnion  of  Sergius  as  a  pontifical  name 
did  not  affect  the  other  name  at  all.  In  any  event,  it  was  not  Sergius  II.  who 
was  called  Boccadiporco  (which  Platina  Latinizes  as  Osporci),  but  Sergius  IV. 
The  latter  was  elected  Pope  in  ioi2.  It  is  quite  clear,  moreover,  that  the 
custom  originated  before  this  date.  In  999,  for  example,  Gerbert,  or  Ger- 
bertus,  took  the  name  of  Sylvester  II.  A  very  plausible  suggestion  has  been 
made  that  the  leader  in  the  innovation  was  the  first  Pope  whose  name 
happened  to  be  Peter.  Naturally  he  would  find  himself  in  an  embarrassing 
position.  To  have  called  himself  Peter  II.  might  seem  wanting  in  humility, 
while  Peter  I.  would  have  been  a  practical  denial  of  the  7-ai507i  d'etre  of  his 
own  position.  The  first-known  Peter  was  Pietro  di  Canevanno,  who  became 
John  XIV.  in  984.  But  there  must  have  been  other  Peters  before  him  in  that 
long  stretch  of  nine  centuries,  and  it  is  safe  to  assume  that  the  custom  set  by 
some  eponymous  predecessor  had  come  into  tacit  use,  being  greatly  assisted 
by  the  mediaeval  love  of  symbolism  and  the  possible  suggestion  that  Christ 
had  instituted  it  in  giving  a  new  name  to  St.  Peter,  and  that  hence  it  ought  to 
be  adopted  and  perpetuated.  In  later  times,  the  only  Pope  who  broke  through 
the  tradition  was  Adrian  IV.  (1522),  who  retained  his  own  name  exactly. 
Julius  II.  took  one  that  very  closely  resembled  his  own  name  of  Giuliano  (in 
Latin,  Julianus). 

Names,  Curiosities  of.  There  is  a  great  deal  in  a  name,  in  spite  of 
Shakespeare's  query.  And,  in  fact,  Shakespeare  probably  knew  what  he  was 
about  when  he  put  the  query  in  the  mouth  of  a  girl  of  fourteen,  ignorant 
and  inexperienced.  For  surely  he  was  aware  of  the  value  of  names.  In  the 
very  title  "  Romeo  and  Juliet"  is  there  not  reflected  all  the  deliciousness  of 
the  soft  Italian  skies.?  Call  it  "John  and  Tabitha,"  for  instance,  and  tlie 
illusion  vanishes.  Or  take  Goethe's  play  of  "  Faust :"  was  not  the  name  of 
Gretchen  a  happy  choice  for  the  heroine  ?  Does  not  that  caressing  diminu- 
tive suggest  simplicity  and  purity  and  innocence?  Gretchen  is  simply  the 
English  Maggie,  yet  how  vulgar  the  fall  when  you  translate  it  !  On  the  other 
hand,  the  Marguerite  of  the  French  is  too  stately  and  too  haughty.  Perhaps 
that  is  one  of  the  reasons  why  Gounod's  opera  seems  tawdry  and  meretricious 
beside  Goethe's  tragedy.  Why  should  Petrarch  be  praised  for  loving  Laura  ? 
Anybody  might  love  so  mellifluous  a  union  of  vowels  and  consonants,  but  we 
cannot  understand  how  the  Lord  of  Burleigh  fell  in  love  with  Sarah  Hoggins. 
By  whom  is  the  butterfly  best  loved, — by  the  Greek  who  calls  it  Psyche,  the 
Spaniard  who  calls  it  Mariposa,  the  Italian  who  calls  it  Farfalla,  or  the  Dutch 
who  damns  it  with  the  hideous  name  of  Witze  and  the  German  who  makes  it 
ridiculous  as  Schmetterling  ? 

Unconsciously  to  ourselves  we  form  a  mental  picture  of  people  that  are  un- 
known to  us  from  their  names.  We  expect  more  from  Gwendolen  than  from 
Hephzibah,  from  Hector  than  from  John.  The  names  that  have  become 
famous  are  those  which  have  a  sonorous  and  stately  ring,  George  Wash- 
ington, Alexander  Hamilton,  Lafayette,  Shakespeare,  Wolfgang  von  Goethe, 
Gustavus  Adolphus,  Alfred  Tennyson,  Ludovico  da  Vinci,  Michael  Angelo 
Buonarrotti,  Raffaelle  Sanzio.  One  can  understand  how  an  obscure  Corsican 
born  with  such  a  name  as  Napoleon  Bonaparte  might  have  conquered  the 
world.  Authors  and  actors  know  the  value  of  a  mouth-filling  name.  Her- 
bert Lythe  becomes  famous  as  Maurice  Barrymore,  Bridget  O'Toole  charms 
an  audience  as  Rosa  d'Erina,  John  H.  Brodribb  becomes  Henry  Irving, 
Samuel  C.  Clemens  and  Charles  F.  Browne  attract  attention  under  the  ec- 
centric masks  of  Mark  Twain  and  Artemus  Ward.  John  Rowlands  would 
never  have  become  a  great  explorer  unless  he  had  first  changed  his  name  to 
Henry  M.  Stanley.  James  B.  Matthews  and  James  B.  Taylor  might  have 
remained  lost  among  the  mass  of  magazine  contributors  but  for  their  cunning 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  779 

in  dropping  the  James  and  standing  forth  as  Brander  Matthews  and  Bayard 
Taylor.     Would  Jacob  W.  Reid  have  succeeded  as  well  as  Whitelaw  Reid  ? 

The  Italians  are  adepts  in  this  sort  of  thing.  If  a  man's  name  be  not  up 
to  the  dignity  of  his  personality  they  find  some  sopraiwme—somG  nickname 
or  nom  de  guerre — which  shall  more  accurately  label  and  define  him.  Pietro 
Vanucci  sounds  harsh  and  common,  Antonio  AUegri  lacks  distinction,  so 
they  are  known  as  Perugino  and  Correggio,  from  their  birthplaces.  Dome- 
nico  Corradi  is  an  ugly  clash  of  consonants,  but  how  mellifluous  and  how 
characteristic  is  Ghirlandaio,  a  nickname  taken  from  his  father's  trade  as  a 
garland-maker.  Giorgione  suggests  color  and  harmony,  and  admirably  befits 
the  gorgeous  Venetian  painter  whose  baptismal  name  was  the  more  plebeian 
Giorgio  Barbarelli. 

An  ingenious  writer  in  the  Athencetcm  has  even  suggested  that  between  the 
character  of  a  great  man  and  the  mere  names  of  the  places  associated  with 
him  there  is  often  a  harmony  as  happy  as  it  is  inscrutable.  Every  one  feels, 
for  instance,  that  there  would  be  something  lacking  to  Drummond  if  he  had 
not  lived  at  a  place  called  Hawthornden.  Shakespeare  could  not  fail  to  be 
born  at  a  town  so  beautifully  and  appropriately  named  as  Stratford-on-Avon. 
As  Scott  was  not  born  at  a  place  called  by  the  appropriate  name  of  Abbots- 
ford,  the  fates  very  properly  decreed  that  he  should  make  money  expressly 
to  purchase  Cartley  Hole  and  rechristen  it  aright.  And  there  was  no  reason 
in  the  world,  save  that  love  of  harmony  in  black  or  white  which  characterizes 
fate,  why  Scott  should  be  buried  in  a  place  called  Dryburgh  Abbey.  It  is 
impossible  to  conceive  any  collocation  of  letters  so  expressive  of  that  peculiar 
kind  of  sweetness  and  light  which  Carlyle  was  born  to  shed  as  Ecclefechan 
and  Craigenputtock.  The  list  might  be  almost  indefinitely  extended.  Rydal 
Mount  has  about  it  some  of  the  serene  austerity  which  befits  a  habitation  for 
Wordsworth.  Gad's  Hill  (probably  through  its  Falstaffian  associations)  sug- 
gests a  riotous  humor  which  made  it  the  appropriate  residence  of  Dickens. 
Mount  Vernon  has  all  the  calmness  and  dignity  that  we  are  accustomed  to 
attribute  to  Washington.  Trollope  has  a  rough  and  ready  suggestion  about 
it  which  ill  befits  the  character  of  the  novelist  (though  it  better  suits  the 
asperities  of  his  mother).  But  when  the  novelist  purchased  a  villa  near  Flor- 
ence the  Italians  seem  to  have  been  conscious  of  this  deficiency  and  called 
his  residence  the  Villino  Tr61-l6-pe,  which  admirably  suits  the  suave  and 
harmless  character  of  the  man. 

Unlike  the  Italian,  the  Anglo-Saxon  spoils  the  names  that  he  touches.  An 
amusing  article  might  be  written  to  show,  by  the  degeneration  of  their  names, 
that  the  English  and  the  Americans  are  themselves  degenerating.  Sevenoaks, 
for  example,  bodies  forth  to  the  mental  eye  a  splendid  doughty  figure,  but  his 
descendant  Snooks  cannot  help  being  something  of  a  snob  and  a  good  deal 
of  a  sneak.  Cholmondeley  must  have  been  a  good  and  great  man,  and  the 
modern  Chumley  is  a  sad  disgrace  to  the  family.  How  ignoble  does  March- 
banks  sound  beside  the  imposing  Marjoribanks  from  which  it  descends  !  And 
when  we  in  America  had  in  our  midst  so  noble  a  name  as  Enroughty,  we  had 
to  perform  a  tremendous  feat  of  cacophonic  acrobatism  by  converting  it  into 
Darby.  On  the  other  hand,  a  man  might  almost  as  well  not  have  been  born  as  to 
be  saddled  with  a  ridiculous  or  an  unmeaning  name.  One  can  sympathize  with 
Mr.  Ludocovischi  Katz  von  Kottek,  who  petitioned  a  San  Francisco  court  to 
change  his  name  to  L.  Kats,  because  "  the  meaning  of  the  words  Katz  von 
Kottek  is  'cat  of  cats,'  and  the  name  of  L.  Katz  von  Kottek  is  the  occasion 
of  great  annoyance  to  Petitioner."  We  are  glad  that  the  Hartford  (Con- 
necticut) County  Superior  Court  granted  the  petition  of  Henry  Ratz  of 
Thomasville,  praying  that  his  name  be  changed  to  Henry  Raites.  The 
petitioner  showed  that  his  name  was  the  cause  of  a  great  deal  of  annoyance 


78o  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

to  himself  and  members  of  his  family.  Facetious  neighbors  spoke  of  him 
and  his  wife  as  the  old  rats,  and  the  children  as  little  rats,  and  some  of  them 
even  committed  the  enormity  of  calling  the  latter  mice.  And  it  is  a  matter 
of  real  rejoicing  that  Herr  Julius  Jackass  had  his  name  changed  in  New 
York  to  Julius  Courage. 

The  French  law  recognizes  no  name  not  borne  by  a  saint  or  an  historical 
personage.  This  may  seem  arbitrary,  and  would  prevent  the  sensible  practice 
that  is  now  growing  up  in  America  of  giving  family  names  in  lieu  of  Christian 
names.  Thus,  Cadwalader  Biddle  has  a  more  distinctive  individuality  than 
John  or  James  Biddle,  and  individuality  in  names  is  to  be  encouraged,  not  only 
for  utilitarian  but  for  aesthetic  reasons.  Nevertheless,  the  French  law  is  a 
great  boon  if  it  saves  a  child  from  being  handicapped  by  the  absurd  names 
that  are  rife  in  England  and  America.  It  would  prevent  such  poor  jests  as 
that  of  a  Mr.  Death,  who  named  one  of  his  sons  Jolly  and  the  other  Sudden, 
or  that  of  Victoria  WoodhuU's  father,  who  named  one  of  her  sisters  Tennie  C. 
and  the  other  Uti  K.  And  it  would  prevent  the  unpleasant  results  of  the 
sentimentalities  of  ladies  like  Mrs.  Rose,  who  named  her  eldest  daughter 
Wild,  and  was  astonished  at  the  change  produced  by  Wild's  marriage  with 
Mr.  Bull. 

The  curiosities  indeed  of  English  and  American  baptismal  names  might 
easily  fill  a  volume.  In  the  United  States  census  of  1870  a  record  was  ob- 
tained of  the  father  of  a  family  who  had  named  his  five  children  Imprimis, 
Finis,  Appendix,  Addendum,  and  Erratum,  the  latter  being  the  unkindest  cut 
of  ail.  Three  sisters  still  live  who  were  born  during  political  excitement  and 
baptized  by  the  names  of  Anti-Nebraska,  Free  Kansas,  and  Texana.  Pre- 
served Bullock  was  the  name  of  a  lady  buried  at  Salem,  Massachusetts,  and 
Preserved  Fish  was  once  a  well-to-do  New  Jersey  merchant.  A  farmer  living 
at  Huntingdon  in  the  time  of  Charles  the  First  was  named  January  May. 
His  surname  was  May,  and  in  all  probability  he  was  born  in  the  month  of  Jan- 
uary. Sou'-Wester  was  conferred  on  a  boy  in  memory  of  an  uncle  so  baptized 
because  of  his  birth  during  a  southwesterly  gale.  But  a  still  greater  mete- 
orological curiosity  in  the  way  of  names  is  Easterly  Rains.  A  boy  called 
Washington  was  christened  General  George  ;  a  boy  called  Newton,  Sir  Isaac. 
Marquis,  Duke,  Earl,  Lord,  and  Squire  are  common  names  in  the  West  Riding 
of  Yorkshire.  In  the  North  of  England  the  Bible  has  decided  the  nomen- 
clature of  most  of  the  children.  "A  clerical  friend  of  mine,"  says  a  writer 
in  Harper''s  Magazine,  "  christened  twins  Cain  and  Abel  only  the  other  day, 
much  against  his  own  wishes.  Another  parson  on  the  Derbyshire  border  was 
gravely  informed  at  the  proper  moment  that  the  name  of  baptism  was  Ramoth- 
Gilead.  '  Boy  or  girl,  eh .-"  he  asked,  in  a  somewhat  agitated  voice.  The 
parents  had  opened  the  Bible  hap-hazard  according  to  the  village  tradition, 
and  selected  the  first  name  the  eye  fell  on."  "  Sirs"  was  the  answer  given  to 
a  bewildered  curate  after  the  usual  demand  to  name  the  child.  He  objected, 
but  was  informed  it  was  a  scriptural  name,  and  the  verse  "  Sirs,  what  must  I 
do  to  be  saved?"  was  triumphantly  appealed  to.  This  reminds  one  of  the 
Puritan  who  styled  his  dog  Moreover,  after  the  dog  in  the  Gospel,  "More- 
over, the  dog  came  and  licked  his  sores." 

But  above  all  other  men  the  Puritans  distinguished  themselves  by  their 
fantastic  choice  of  names.  They  resolved  to  throw  ofT  all  semblance  of  the 
world  or  acquaintance  with  worldly  things.  With  the  usual  result  of  fanati- 
cism, they  made  themselves  ridiculous.  Such  names  as  Swear-not-at-all  Ireton, 
Glory-be-to-God  Pennyman,  Hew-Agag-in-pieces-before-the-Lord  Robinson, 
and  Obadiah-bind-their-kings-in-chains-and-their-nobles-in-irons  Needham, 
were  calculated  to  excite  the  derision  of  the  Cavaliers.  The  man  whose  name 
is  often  associated  with  the  Rump  Parliament  had  three  brothers,  of  whom 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  78 1 

one  bore  the  mild  designation  of  Fear-God  Barebone,  while  the  others  had 
such  formidable  Christian  names  as  Jesus-Christ-came-into-the-world-to-save 
Barebone,  and  If-Clirist-had-not-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned  Bare- 
bone.  For  the  needs  of  daily  life  such  names  usually  had  to  be  reduced 
to  the  first  or  the  last  syllable,  the  brother  of  Praise-God  being  thus,  for  in- 
stance, familiarly  known  as  "  Doctor  Damned  Barebone."  Whether  these 
words  were  given  at  their  baptism  is  not  certain,  but  if  parochial  registers 
may  be  taken  as  evidence,  the  length  of  the  child's  name  was  by  no  means 
an  insuperable  hinderance  to  the  bestowal  of  it  at  the  font.  The  register  of 
St.  Helen's,  Bishopsgate,  for  the  year  161 1  tells  the  short  tale  of  "  Job-raked- 
out-of-the-ashes,"  a  child  born  on  the  last  day  of  August,  "in  the  lane  going 
to  Sir  John  Spencer's  back  gate,"  "  and  there  laid  on  a  heap  of  sea-coal 
ashes.  Baptized  the  next  day  and  buried  on  the  day  following."  A  longer  life 
may  have  been  granted  to  "  Dancell  Dallphebo  Marc  Antony  Dallery  Gallery 
Csesar,  sonn  of  Dancell  Dallphebo  Marc  Antony  Dallery  Gallery  Caesar 
Williams,"  whose  name  appears  in  the  registry  of  the  parish  church  of  Old 
Swineford. 

"  Grace  names"  were  of  course  very  common  among  the  Puritans, — Faith, 
Hope,  and  Charity,  Prudence,  Mercy,  Truth,  Constancy,  Temperance,  Honor, 
Obedience,  Rejoice,  Endure,  Repentance,  Humiliation,  Pride,  and  Humility. 
A  man  named  Sykes  had  four  sons,  whom  he  named  Lovewell,  Dowell, 
Diewell,  and  Farewell. 

The  grotesque  Puritan  nomenclature  has  died  out  in  England  and  only 
survives  in  grace  names  in  some  portions  of  New  England,  but  there  are 
still  common  instances  of  people  whose  names  are  ridiculous  from  their 
length.  Thus,  an  old  lady  in  Lansingburg,  New  York,  was  called"  Frances 
Caroline  Constantia  Maria  Van  Rader  Van  Rase  Out  Zoron  Van  Bian  Van 
Helsdinger.  This  was  even  more  sonorous  than  the  name  of  a  colored  nurse- 
maid in  Brooklyn,  who  informed  her  employer  that  she  was  called  "  Miss 
Minnie  Loretta  Progret  Under-the-Snow  Sypher."  But  after  all,  when  one 
wants  names,  he  must  have  recourse  to  the  Almanach  de  Gotha,  and  espe- 
cially to  the  chapters  devoted  to  the  Hapsburgs  of  Tuscany,  the  Bourbons  of 
Parma,  and  the  royal  family  of  Portugal.  For  a  good  mouth-filler  there  is 
nothing  so  complete  as  the  name  of  the  Portuguese  Prince  Alphonso  Henry 
Napoleon  Maria  Louis  Peter  of  Alcantara  Charles  Humbert  Amadeus  Ferdi- 
nand Anthony  Michael  Raphael  Gabriel  Gonzaga  Xavier  Francis  of  Assisi 
John  Augustus  Julius  Volfando  Ignatius  of  Braganza,  Savoy,  Bourbon,  Saxe- 
Coburg,  and  Gotha. 

In  some  noble  European  families  it  is  not  uncommon  to  christen  several 
sons  by  the  same  name,  where  it  is  desired  to  perpetuate  it.  The  German 
family  of  Reuss  carries  this  practice  to  an  absurd  extent,  all  the  males  being 
named  Henry,  the  distinguishing  numbers  attached  to  their  titles  beginning 
with  each  century.  Another  curious  name  is  that  of  a  prominent  Belgian 
house,  the  Viscounts  Vilain  XI III.  {sic),  one  of  whom  neatly  answered  the 
banter  of  the  Austrian  emperor,  "  Ah,  viscount,  all  your  family  are  num- 
bered like  cabs,"  with  the  retort,  "Yes,  sire,  like  cabs  and  kings."  All  the 
oldest  .sons  of  the  Rochefoucauld  family  have  borne  the  name  of  Francois 
since  one  of  their  ancestors  held  Francis  the  First  at  the  baptismal  font. 

A  crusade  has  recently  been  waged  against  the  diminutives,  and  especially 
those  ending  in  ie,  which  at  one  time  threatened  almost  to  supersede  the 
good  old  names  which  they  spoil.  If  trifles  are  any  indication  of  character, 
Mrs.  Harrison  must  yield  in  dignity  to  Mrs.  Cleveland.  The  latter  promptly 
rebuked  all  efforts  to  call  her  "  Frankie,"  and  will  go  down  to  history  as 
Frances  Folsom  Cleveland.  Mrs.  Harrison  is  not  Caroline  ;  she  signs  herself 
Carrie  S.  Harrison,  both  in  business  and  in  friendly  letters.  To  be  sure,  one 
66 


782  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

of  the  most  popular  mistresses  of  the  White  House  was  known  as  "  Dolly 
Madison,"  but  her  real  wit  and  grace  carried  off  her  want  of  dignity.  Robert 
and  William  who  allow  themselves  to  be  styled  Bobby  and  Billy  must  be  either 
wanting  in  self-respect  or  be  afflicted  with  a  weak  amiability  that  falls  below 
the  level  of  a  vice.  The  public  men  who  are  familiarly  known  as  Tom  this 
or  Steve  that  may  be  "  good  fellows"  and  friends  of  the  boys,  but  they  are 
politicians  and  not  statesmen. 

In  spite  of  Hayward's  declaration,  "  I  hold  he  loves  me  best  that  calls  me 
Tom,"  it  has  been  legally  ruled  that  it  is  disrespectful  and  insulting  to  call  a 
man  by  his  Christian  name  unless  the  parties  have  been  intimately  connected. 
A  Massachusetts  hotel-keeper  discharged  his  clerk  because  that  magnificent 
creature  was  too  fond  of  such  familiarity.  The  clerk  sued  for  his  salary  for  a 
year  and  damages,  but  was  non-suited,  the  Supreme  Court  delivering  the  fol- 
lowing judgment:  "To  address  a  person  by  his  Christian  name,  unless  the 
parties  have  been  intimately  connected,  socially  and  otherwise,  is  uncalled-for 
familiarity,  and,  therefore,  insulting  to  the  person  so  addressed.  To  address 
a  party  by  his  surname  only  shows  a  want  of  respect,  and  would  imply  that 
the  party  so  addressed  was  beneath  the  party  addressing  ;  therefore  it  is  dis- 
courteous, and  would  be  considered  insulting.  To  speak  of  employers  by 
their  surnames  only  shows  a  great  want  of  respect  on  the  part  of  the  employee 
towards  the  employer.  While  it  may  be  customary  for  a  person  to  address  his 
junior  clerks  or  under-servants  by  their  Christian  or  surnames,  to  address 
others  so  shows  a  want  of  respect,  and  the  party  so  addressed  would  naturally 
evade  contact  in  the  future  with  any  one  who  had  previously  so  addressed 
him." 

It  hassometimes  been  foolishly  held  that  only  snobs  and  dudes  would  part 
their  names  in  the  middle,  but  in  fact  anything  that  increases  the  individuality 
of  names  is  to  be  welcomed,  especially  in  the  case  of  the  unfortunates  who 
are  burdened  with  such  undistinctive  names  as  Smith,  Brown,  Jones,  or 
Robinson.  There  are  thousands  of  John  H.  Smiths  or  John  M.  Smiths, 
there  may  be  only  a  few  J.  Hayward  Smiths  or  J.  MacNamara  Smiths.  Nor 
is  there  any  reason  why  Mr.  Smith  should  not  alter  the  spelling  of  his  name 
to  Mr.  Smyth  or  Smythe,  or  Mr.  Brown  should  not  likewise  add  a  final  "e." 
A  fine  example  of  how  a  commonplace  patronymic  may  gain  a  lordly  and 
aristocratic  sound  is  the  name  of  the  popular  magazinist  Junius  Henri 
Browne.  The  middle  name,  "  Henri,"  whether  given  in  baptism  or  changed 
subsequently  to  please  the  nice  ear  of  its  possessor,  is  a  stroke  of  genius. 
During  the  progress  of  the  famous  Codman  Will  case,  the  name  of  J.  Amory 
Codman  gave  rise  to  an  amusing  error  of  a  type-writer.  A  copy  of  the 
telegram  fpund  among  the  papers  bore  the  address  "J.  A.  Mory,  cabman, 
Parker  House."  A  long  and  puzzling  search  followed.  Not  a  trace  of  Mory 
could  be  found,  no  such  cabman  was  known  to  be  in  employ  there,  and  not 
until  after  two  weeks'  hunt  did  the  solution  dawn  upon  the  counsel. 

According  to  Mr.  H.  A.  Hamilton,  in  his  "  Quarter  Sessions  from  Queen 
Elizabeth,"  the  practice  of  giving  children  two  Christian  names  was  unknown 
in  England  before  the  period  of  the  Stuarts,  was  rarely  adopted  down  to  the 
time  of  the  Revolution,  and  never  became  common  until  after  the  Hanoverian 
family  was  seated  on  the  throne.  "  In  looking  through  so  many  volumes  of 
county  records,"  he  says,  "  I  have,  of  course,  seen  many  thousands  and  tens 
of  thousands  of  proper  names,  belonging  to  men  of  all  ranks  and  degrees, — to 
noblemen,  justices,  jurymen,  witnesses,  sureties,  innkeepers,  hawkers,  paupers, 
vagrants,  criminals,  and  others, — and  in  no  single  instance,  down  to  the  end 
of  the  reign  of  Anne,  have  I  noticed  any  person  bearing  more  than  one 
Christian  name.  The  first  instance  occurs  in  1717,  when  Sir  Coplestone  War- 
wick Bampfield  appears  among  the  justices  who  attended  the  midsummer 


I 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  783 

sessions  at  Exeter.  The  first  instances  which  I  have  met  with  in  any  other 
place  are  those  of  Henry  Frederick,  Earl  of  Arundel,  born  in  1608,  and  Sir 
Henry  Frederick  Thynne,  who  was  created  a  baronet  in  1641.  Both  these 
must  have  been  named  after  the  eldest  son  of  James  I.,  who  was,  of  course, 
born  in  Scotland.  No  other  child  of  James  bore  two  Christian  names,  nor 
did  any  child  of  Charles  I.,  except  Henrietta  Maria,  named  after  her  mother, 
who  was  a  Frenchwoman.  No  king  of  England  bore  two  Christian  names 
before  William  III.,  who  was  a  Dutchman." 

Surnames,  in  modern  times  as  distinguished  from  classical,  cannot  be  traced 
farther  back  than  the  tenth  century.  Their  origin  is  simple  enough.  So  long 
as  persons  bore  only  single  names,  and  these  derived  from  a  limited  number 
of  sources,  as  profane  or  sacred  history,  there  might  be  fifty  persons  of  the 
same  name  in  every  little  community.  Hence  there  gradually  grew  up  the 
habit  of  adding  a  distinguishing  epithet,  commonly  noting  some  personal 
peculiarity  or  attribute,  place  of  birth  or  residence,  trade,  occupation,  office, 
or  relationship.  Thus,  such  names  as  Brown,  Black,  Gray,  etc.,  are  derived 
from  the  color  of  the  hair  or  complexion  of  the  eponymic  ancestor  ;  Long, 
Short,  Little,  Cruikshank,  and  so  on,  from  his  bodily  conformation  ;  Smart, 
Swift,  Hardy,  from  his  disposition  ;  Noble,  Rich,  King,  Earl,  Knight,  etc., 
from  his  station  ;  Archer,  Fletcher,  and  especially  the  familiar  Smith,  from 
his  trade  or  occupation  ;  and  English,  Scott,  Holland,  and  Ireland,  from  his 
country.  A  great  fund  from  which  the  necessities  of  family  nomenclature 
have  been  supplied  is  the  baptismal  or  personal  names  of  the  founders. 
These  have  become  surnames,  not  only  in  their  original  form,  but  also  in  the 
many  familiar  shapes  which  usage  may  have  assigned  to  them,  as  the  affec- 
tionate diminutives  in  the  domestic  circle  or  the  monosyllabic  appellatives 
once  current  in  the  workshop  or  on  the  farm.  Thus,  from  Richard  we  get 
Richards  and  Richardson,  Ricks  and  Rix,  Rickson,  Rixon,  or  Ritson,  Ricards 
and  Ricketts.  From  the  curter  Dick  or  Diccon  we  derive  Dicks,  Dix,  Dick- 
son or  Dixon,  Dickens  or  Diccons,  and  Dickenson  or  Dicconson  ;  from 
Hitchin  (once  nearly  as  familiar  as  Dick)  we  get  Hitchins,  Hitchinson,  Hickok, 
and  Hickox.  Surnames  in  this  class  add  to  the  personal  names  on  which 
they  are  based  either  the  possessive  "s"  or  the  more  explicit  "son,"  these 
being  the  Saxon  patronymic  forms,  as  the  prefixes  "  Fitz,"  "  Ap,"  "Mac,"  and 
"O"  are  respectively  the  Norman,  Welsh,  Scotch,  and  Irish  forms.  People 
bearing  these  patronymic  names  may  be  assumed  to  be  descended  from  the 
stay-at-homes  of  the  family,  the  domestic  and  unambitious  ones,  who  were 
content  to  tread  quietly  in  their  father's  footsteps.  While  the  enterprising 
brother  travelled  to  a  distance  and  acquired  a  surname  from  the  town  or  shire 
or  country  of  his  birth,  with  which  new  associates  identified  him,  while  the 
brother  of  strong  predilections  seized  his  favorite  occupation  and  extracted 
from  it  his  distinguishing  appellation,  the  less  sanguine,  less  original  of  the 
three,  who  calmly  took  up  his  father's  business,  was  called  merely  the  son  of 
his  father,  and  handed  down  to  his  posterity  a  surname  based  upon  that  father's 
baptismal  name.  Does  this  explain  why  in  a  country  where  probably  one-third 
of  the  names  end  in  "son"  there  are  comparatively  so  small  a  number  of 
eminent  names  with  that  termination.?  The  greatest  of  all,  probably,  is  Dr. 
Johnson,  and  he  can  only  be  ranked  in  the  second  class. 

A  number  of  things  conspire  to  increase  the  difficulty  of  tracing  surnames 
to  their  origin.  Many  were  given  on  account  of  circumstances  long  ago  for- 
gotten, many  were  mere  accidental  nicknames.  Many  of  the  words  on  which 
surnames  were  based  have  become  more  or  less  obsolete.  Fletcher  and 
Lorimer,  for  example,  would  be  inexplicable  did  they  not  appear  in  early 
Norman  literature  .as  the  words  for  archer  and  manufacturer  of  horse-bits. 
Todd  ("fox")  and  Beck  ("brook")  are  intelligible  only  through  dialects.    But 


784  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

above  all,  many  names  have  become  so  transmogrified  through  abbreviation, 
phonetic  decay,  and  corruptions  of  all  sorts  that  in  many  cases  it  is  not  possi- 
ble to  recognize  the  original  form.  In  old  times  every  one  spelt  phonetically, 
and  especially  insisted  on  the  right  to  spell  his  own  name  as  he  chose.  Shake- 
speare spelt  his  forty-three  different  ways.  His  friends  lent  additional  variety 
by  giving  it  two  hundred  and  seventeen  forms.  S(mie  idea  of  the  confusion 
which  among  the  unlettered  classes  might  arise  from  this  phonetic  spelling 
may  be  gained  from  the  story  told  by  a  recent  traveller  in  Cornwall,  that  a 
pit-girl  on  her  marriage  confounded  both  parson  and  clerk  by  giving  her  name 
as  "  Loice  Showd."  It  was  only  by  diligent  inquiries  among  her  friends  that 
the  name  was  found  to  be  "Alice  Harwood."  Nay,  even  among  the  higher 
classes  phonetic  spelling  would  alter  the  appearance  of  many  noble  names. 
Wemyss  would  become  Weems  ;  Eyre,  Air  ;  Geoffrey,  Jeffrey  ;  Colquhoun, 
Cohoon  ;  Urquhart,  Urkurt ;  Dyllwyn,  Dillun  ;  Waldegrave,  Walgrave  ;  Cock- 
burn,  Coburn  ;  Mainwaring,  Mannering  ;  KnoUys,  Knovvles  ;  Gower,  Gor  ; 
Meux,  Mews  ;  Kerr,  Carr  ;  McLeod,  McCloud  ;  St.  John,  .Sin  Jin  ;  St.  Clair, 
Sinkler  ;  Beauchamp,  Beecham.  The  strange  metamorphosis  which  a  name 
may  assume  in  passing  from  one  language  to  another  may  be  illustrated 
by  Taliaferro,  which  drops  into  "Tolliver"  in  Virginia  (wheve  Carruthers 
must  fail  to  recognize  itself  as  "Cruder"),  Tollemache,  which  becomes  "  Tal- 
mage"  in  New  York,  Janvier,  which  has  been  anglicized  as  "  January."  Somer- 
set becomes  "  Sainte"  Mousette"  in  Canada,  Fitzpatrick  "  Felix  Patry,"  and 
Stanford  "  Sainte  Folle."  For  the  astonishing  mispronunciation  of  Enroughty 
to  which  we  have  already  alluded,  many  explanations  have  been  offered.  It 
has  been  suggested  that  when  the  original  Enroughtys  reached  Virginia  they 
found  it  a  perfectly  hopeless  job  to  get  their  name  properly  spelt  or  properly 
pronounced  by  their  new  countrymen.  So  in  despair  they  consented  to  be 
called  Uarbys  by  mankind  in  general,  though  they  steadfastly  clung  to  their 
true  patronymic  in  ail  papers  and  documents.  But  a  Richmond  paper  offered 
a  more  plausible  solution,  obtained  from  a  member  of  the  family,  according  to 
which  the  first  Enroughty  who  emigrated  to  this  country  was  named  Darby 
Enroughty.  He  settled  at  or  near  what  is  now  known  as  Darbytown,  and 
his  neighbors  called  him  Darby  for  short.  This  finally  became  so  universal 
that  it  attached  to  him  as  his  patronymic,  and  t;.any  supposed  he  had  no  other. 
None  of  the  family,  however,  ever  used  it  in  writing,  but  always  answered  it 
when  spoken  to. 

It  is  curious  to  trace  the  real  meaning  of  some  famous  names,  and  to  see 
how  whimsically  inapjjropriate  some  of  them  were  to  the  men  who  bore  them. 
The  greater  part  of  Europe  suffered  from  the  misdeeds  of  Bonaparte,  whose 
name  really  means  good  part,  or  good  side.  The  Prince  of  Benevento 
(welcome)  must  greatly  have  belied  his  name  to  the  Hollanders  who  were 
compelled  to  receive  him.  The  Christian  world  would  hardly  consider  Renan 
as  a  friend,  in  spite  of  the  etymological  meaning  of  his  name  ;  and  it  seems 
merely  whimsical  that  Sardou,  the  playwright,  should  trace  his  name  to 
sacerdos,  a  priest.  Biron,  the  original  form  of  Byron,  means  squint.  The 
ancient  Italian  princely  name  of  Borghese  is  the  same  as  the  French  bourgeois, 
or  citizen.  Daudet  is  a  form  of  the  Hebrew  David.  There  is  no  significance 
in  the  fact  that  Gambetta  signifies  a  little  leg,  Goupil  a  fox,  Abelard  a 
beeherd,  or  Boucicault  a  fat  man.  MacMahon  scarcely  seems  to  be  the 
same  as  the  Italian  Orsini  or  the  French  Ursins,  yet  all  mean  son  of  the 
bear. 

On  the  other  hand,  Arago,  the  name  of  a  philosopher  who  looked  so 
steadily  at  scientific  truth,  means  good  eagle.  Erckmann,  the  novelist, 
the  first  half  of  the  literary  partnership  which  always  suggests  the  Siamese 
twins,  is  both  by  name  and  by  nature  a  sincere  man.     Garibaldi  means  brave 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  7^5 

spear,  Gounod  derives  his  name  appropriately  from  garlan,  to  sing.  Hugo 
means  intelligence.  The  name  of  Victor  Hugo  would  therefore  signify  vic- 
torious intelligence.  Sarcy  means  switch,  a  fit  name  for  a  critic.  Sibour, 
the  Archbishop  of  Paris  who  was  killed  at  the  Barricades,  bore  an  old 
German  name  which  signifies  victorious  protector.  Bennett  is  a  form  of 
Benedict,  but  the  bachelor  proprietor  of  the  Herald  does  not  seem  bent  on 
justifying  its  signification. 

Coincidence  has  even  determined  that  the  name  of  a  person  should  be 
felicitously  linked  with  his  profession.  Thus,  Dr.  Physick  was  one  of  the 
most  famous  of  Philadelphia  doctors,  and  that  city  now  boasts  several  lawyers 
named  Law,  one  named  Lex,  and  another  named  Judge.  In  the  same  city 
Mr.  Loud  and  Mr.  Thunder  were  both  organists  at  one  time.  Among  other 
instances  authenticated  by  trades  directories  and  parish  registers  are  Mr.  Toe 
and  Mr.  Heel,  one  a  shoemaker,  the  other  a  clog-maker,  at  York.  Foot  and 
Stocking  were  the  names  of  two  hosiers,  and  Treadaway  and  Last  were  shoe- 
makers. Trulock  was  a  gunsmith,  Pie  was  a  pastry-cook.  Pickles  sold  pickles 
in  a  provincial  town,  Rideout  did  business  as  a  livery-stable-keeper,  Pickup 
was  an  omnibus-owner,  Lightfoot  a  dancing-master.  Rod  (an  ominous  name) 
a  school-master,  Henry  Moist  a  waterman,  Dabb  a  painter,  and  Copper  a 
copper-plate  engraver.  No  better  name  could  have  been  suggested  for  the 
editor  of  Punch  than  Mark  Lemon.  The  church  militant  during  our  civil 
war  was  significantly  typified  in  the  names  of  two  chaplains  of  the  Federal 
army,  Mr.  Camp  and  Mr.  Drum.  The  Prohibitionists  would  probably  think 
that  Bones  and  Death  were  admirable  names  for  two  tavern-Reepers. 

Odd  juxtapositions  of  names  without  reference  to  the  trades  carried  on  are 
very  frequent.  Violet,  Primrose,  and  Wallflower  was  a  former  London  firm ; 
Blood  and  Hoof  had  a  sign  in  Liverpool ;  Heath  and  Waterfall  were  part- 
ners ;  Jones  and  Huggs  seems  a  harmless  enough  name  for  school-teachers, 
but  a  parent  might  well  be  alarmed  at  learning  from  their  circular  that  "Jones 
teaches  the  boys,  and  Huggs  the  girls."  The  proprietor  of  an  Illinois  news- 
paper felt  obliged  to  decline  an  otherwise  desirable  partnership  proposal  from 
the  impossibility  of  arranging  the  name  satisfactorily,  since  the  title  of  the 
firm  must  read  either  "  Steel  and  Doolittle"  or  "  Doolittle  and  Steel,"  so  he 
wrote,  "  We  cannot  join  :  one  partner  would  soon  be  in  the  workhouse  and 
the  other  in  the  penitentiary." 

Names  in  Fiction.  If  the  influence  of  a  right  name  is  felt  in  real  life, 
how  much  more  so  in  fiction  !  In  real  life  it  is  a  matter  of  chance  or  of  lucky 
accident  if  the  baptismal  name  prove  a  just  and  congruous  one,  suited  to  the 
character  and  the  circumstances  of  the  owner.  The  natural  parent  may  claim 
forgiveness  for  error  on  the  score  that  he  could  not  foresee  the  possible  career 
of  the  child  whom  he  may  have  handicapped  at  the  altar.  The  author  of  a 
work  of  fiction  can  make  no  such  plea.  His  characters  should  take  form  in 
his  brain,  like  Minerva  in  the  skull  of  Jupiter;  they  should  be  armed  at  all 
points,  and  the  most  vulnerable  point  of  their  equipment  is  an  unworthy  name. 
Yet  knowledge  of  the  thing  desired  does  not  necessarily  lead  to  its  easy  dis- 
covery. It  is  a  matter  for  thought,  for  research,  for  studious  inquiry.  Great 
skill  and  nicety  of  perception  must  be  called  into  play.  The  effect  must  not 
be  too  crudely  palpable.  Suggestion,  not  insistence,  is  needed.  The  good 
old  trick  which  pleased  our  simpler  forefathers,  that  which  consists  in  merely 
labelling  a  character, — an  ingenuous,  but  not  ingenious,  stratagem, — has  had 
its  day.  It  was  carried  to  an  extreme  in  the  early  English  drama,  where  even 
Shakespeare  gives  us  such  names  among  his  minor  characters  as  Mouldy, 
Feeble,  Shallow,  Shadow,  etc.,  and  it  retained  its  hold  on  the  comic  stage 
down  to  the  time  of  the  Lydia  Languishes,  the  Sneerwells,  the  Mrs.  Mal- 
aprops  of  Sheridan,  the  Sir  Fopling  Flutters  of  Vanbrugh. 
zz  66* 


786  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

At  first  sight  no  man  would  appear  to  offend  more  than  Bunyan.  Yet 
Bunyan  never  becomes  offensive  ;  indeed,  he  is  a  master  of  nomenclature.  In 
an  avowed  allegory  an  author  may  do  what  he  never  could  do  in  a  novel.  We 
should  not  care  to  meet  with  Mr.  Lechery  or  Mrs.  Filth  in  contemporary 
fiction  :  in  Bunyan  they  are  meet  and  proper.  We  feel  that  his  names  came 
to  him  with  a  flash.  None  is  an  after-thought.  The  quality,  the  Christian 
grace,  the  virtue  or  the  vice,  which  he  would  impersonate,  takes  form  and 
name  with  him  at  the  same  instant  of  time.  We  recognize  the  inspiration, 
we  welcome  the  inevitable. 

The  change  from  the  bluntness  of  early  labelling  to  the  more  modem  re- 
finement of  names  that  in  themselves  are  possible  and  may  even  be  current,  yet 
suggest  a  double  meaning  of  peculiar  appropriateness  to  the  character,— this 
change  was  a  gradual  one.  The  Commodore  Trunnions,  Lieutenant  Hatch- 
ways, and  Tom  Pipes  of  Smollett  are  bad,  but  they  are  better  than  the  Love- 
wits  and  Abel  Druggers  of  Ben  Jonson,  or  the  Sir  Pertinax  MacSycophants, 
Sir  Brilliant  Fashions,  and  Sir  Politick  Wouldbes  of  the  eighteenth-century 
drama.  The  nomenclature  of  Fielding  is  better  than  that  of  Smollett.  To 
be  sure,  his  Allworthys,  Courtlys,  and  Slipslops  all  belong  to  the  label  order ; 
but  Tom  Whipwell,  which  at  least  sounds  like  reality,  is  not  a  bad  name  for 
a  coachman,  while  Blifil  and  Trulliber  are  good  examples  of  that  grotesquerie 
lit  up  by  some  undefinable  nuance  of  undermeaning  which  was  later  to  be  car- 
ried to  an  extreme  length  by  Dickens.  Richardson  was  still  better.  Lovelace 
is  very  good,  ^o  is  Sir  Charles  Grandison.  Swift's  Lemuel  Gulliver  is  a 
masterpiece,  and  shows  what  he  might  have  done  if  he  had  directed  his  atten- 
tion in  this  line.  But  Swift  was  only  a  pioneer.  It  was  Scott  who,  in  George 
Saintsbury's  words,  made  "  the  first  attempt  to  unite  the  advantage  of  the  play 
upon  words  with  the  advantage  of  not  taxing  the  reader's  credulity  and  good 
nature  too  greatly."  He  has  the  art  to  give  an  air  of  probability  to  a  name 
full  of  meaning.  Richie  Moniplies,  Dr.  Heavysterne,  Andrew  Fairservice, 
especially  when  veiled  in  Scottish,  tickle  the  ear  with  a  lasting  relish.  Dr. 
Dryasdust  is  a  classic.  So  is  Kennaquhair.  Killancureit  is  less  happy,  yet 
to  those  who  are  acquainted  with  the  oddities  of  Scotch  nomenclature  it  has 
a  certain  false  plausibility.  It  is  better,  for  example,  than  Dotheboys  Hall, 
which  is  evidently  modelled  upon  it.  W'averley  itself,  the  very  beginning  of 
his  work,  could  hardly  be  improved  upon.  It  is  a  real  and  not  a  manufactured 
name.  It  is  sonorous  as  a  title  and  as  a  name.  As  applied  to  a  hero  "who 
was  not  exactly  famous  for  knowing  his  own  mind,"  it  is  pleasantly  yet  not  too 
obtrusively  descriptive.  And  Scott's  other  names.  Captain  Coffinkey,  Roger 
Wildrake  of  Squattlesea  Mere,  Rev.  Simon  Chatterly,  Dr.  Quentin  Quack- 
leben,  each  is  a  more  or  less  felicitous  example  of  the  novelist's  method, — to 
make  a  little  gentle  appeal  to  the  intelligent  and  risible  faculties,  without  quite 
such  a  demand  on  general  credulity  as  may  be  tolerated  in  an  allegory  or  on 
the  staoie.  Few  or  none  of  Scott's  contemporaries  caught  the  knack  from 
him.  Marryat  goes  back  to  the  old  straightforward  style  in  his  Faithfuls, 
Easys,  and  Muddles.  Miss  Austen  never  even  attempts  it.  Miss  Edgeworth 
occasionally  tries  and  fails.  Peacock  once  in  a  while  strikes  off  an  excellent 
name,  like  Glowry,  but  usually  produces  an  unpleasant  impossibility,  like  Mr. 
Feathernest  Derrydown,  or  elaborately  dull  polyglot  puns,  like  Scythrops  and 
Escot.  Dickens  struck  out  a  new  line  for  himself,  which  was  to  lake  note  of 
all  the  oddest  and  most  eccentric  names  he  could  find  in  real  life  and  appor- 
tion them  among  his  characters  with  a  nice  sense  of  their  onomatopoetic 
qualities. 

"  During  my  boyish  days,"  says  a  writer  in  Notes  and  Queries,  "  when 
Dickens  always  stayed  at  Broadstairs,  near  Ramsgate,  it  was  generally  re- 
marked among  his  friends  and  acquaintances  that  he  had  taken  all  the  names  of 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  7^7 

the  characters  in  '  Pickwick'  from  persons  residing  in  Ramsgate.  There  was 
Weller,  the  straw-hat  manufacturer  and  hosier  in  High  Street,  near  the  mar- 
ket ;  Mr.  Tupman  and  Mr.  Snodgrass  lived  higher  up  ;  Mrs.  Bardell  also 
lived  near  ;  and  more  names  than  I  can  now  remember  were  inhabitants  of 
eitlier  Ramsgate  or  Broadstairs." 

With  Balzac,  he  held  that  names  which  were  invented  gave  no  life  to 
imaginary  creations.  It  has  been  asserted  that  none  even  of  the  most  fan- 
tastic of  Dickens's  names  was  an  actual  coinage.  Yet  some  of  his  names,  the 
moment  they  are  detached  from  real  life,  read  like  mere  labels.  Lord  Veri- 
sopht,  Alderman  Cutt,  Gradgrind,  Slyme,  Scrooge,  Veneering,  Mould,  are  all 
of  this  order.  They  grate  upon  our  modern  ear.  It  is  no  excuse  to  say  that 
they  occur  in  real  life,  often  with  startling  appropriateness.  Truth  is  stranger 
than  fiction, — that  is  only  another  way  of  saying  that  fiction  may  not  dare  to 
be  so  strange  as  truth.  Cheeryble,  on  the  other  hand,  is  excellent,  and  so,  in 
their  way,  are  Quilp,  Nickleby,  Oliver  Twist,  Micawber,  Pecksniff,  Sairey 
Gamp.  One  can  hardly  believe  that  these  names  were  once  non-significant, 
that  they  were  borne  by  persons  who  were  neither  condemned  nor  classified 
by  them.  Enthusiasts  have  gone  so  far  as  to  say  that  from  Simon  Wegg's 
bare  name  they  divined  the  whole  man,  wooden  leg  and  all.  Surely  these 
enthusiasts  could  not  allow  the  possibility  of  a  matter-of-fact,  every-day,  able- 
bodied  Simon  Wegg  ? 

But  the  greatest  master  of  allusive  nomenclature  was  Thackeray.  He  de- 
veloped it  early  and  it  flourished  apace.  Those  two  capital  flunkies,  Charles 
Yellowplush  and  Jeames  de  la  Pluche,  are  nicely  differentiated  by  their  names, 
Deuceace,  though  obvious,  is  a  striking  name  for  a  gambler.  Bareacres  is  an 
admirably  suggestive  title  for  a  fallen  family  of  haughty  bearing,  especially 
when  Thistlewood  is  made  their  family  name.  Beatrix  Esmond  is  as  fine  in 
its  way  as  Di  Vernon.  Newcome,  with  its  subtle  suggestion  of  the  militaire 
on  one  hand  and  the  parvenu  on  the  other,  is  admirably  differentiated  by 
the  help  of  the  first  names.  Hobson  Newcome  is  evidently  a  snob,  Barnes 
Newcome  is  a  cad.  Colonel  Newcome  is  a  simple-hearted  old  warrior,  Clive 
Newcome  is  pleasant  but  unimpressive,  Ethel  Newcome  has  a  melody  of  its 
own.  Perhaps  Becky  Sharp  is  a  trifle  too  insistent  in  its  suggestiveness, 
and  Dobbin  leaves  out  all  the  native  poetry  in  the  honest  Major's  composition, 
and  illustrates  only  his  thick-hided  patience.  Yet  we  could  spare  neither  of 
these  names.  And  what  a  wealth  of  humor  and  satire  is  contained  in  the 
names  of  the  minor  characters, — characters  that  often  appear  only  for  a 
moment  and  then  disappear,  but  leave  their  memory  in  the  ear  forever,  trans- 
fixed there  by  the  magic  of  a  name  !  "Tiler  and  Feltham,  Hatters  and  Ac- 
coutrement-Makers" is  full  of  fun,  and  of  plausibility  as  well.  The  Count 
von  Springbock-Hohenlaufen,  Madame  de  la  Cruchecassee,  MM.  de  Truf- 
figny  (of  the  Perigord  family).  Baron  Pitchley  and  Grillsby,  Mr.  Zeno  Poker, 
the  American  ambassador,  these  are  almost  as  good  in  their  way  as  the 
names  of  more  important  characters,  as  Arthur  Pendennis,  or  Captain  Costi- 
gan,  or  Harry  Foker,  or  Blanche  Amory. 

Thackeray  suggests  the  great  Frenchman  to  whom  he  has  often  been 
likened.  One  at  least  of  Balzac's  similarities  to  the  English  author  was  the 
felicity  of  his  nomenclature.  Yet  his  method  was  that  of  Dickens  rather 
than  of  Thackeray.  He  never  invented  names  ;  he  found  them  in  real  life. 
Leon  Gozlan  dwells  with  much  humor  upon  the  almost  superstitious  rever- 
ence which  Balzac  paid  to  names.  He  believed  in  a  mysterious  affinity  and 
reciprocal  influence  between  names  and  people  in  actual  life.  Philosophers 
and  the  mob,  he  claimed,  were  at  one  in  holding  this  view  ;  there  was  no  room 
left  for  a  single  heretic  outside  of  the  pale. 

*'  Except  for  me,"  interjected  Gozlan. 


788  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

What !  didn't  Gozlan  believe  that  there  were  names  which  recalled  special 
objects, — a  sword,  a  flower  ?  that  there  were  names  which  at  once  veiled  and 
revealed  the  poet,  the  philosopher,  the  painter  ?  Racine,  for  example, — the 
very  name  depicted  a  tender  passionate  poet. 

On  the  contrary,  to  Gozlan  it  gave  only  the  idea  of  a  botanist  or  an  apothe- 
cary. 

"Well,  Corneille?  CorneiUei"' 

Still  the  stubborn  heretic  was  recalcitrant.  From  Corneille  he  got  only 
the  idea  of  some  insignificant  bird.  He  accounted  for  the  meaning  which 
both  names  bore  to  Balzac  by  the  fact  that  the  characteristics  of  the  poets 
had  become  associated  in  his  mind  with  the  sounds  of  the  names.  Therefore 
it  was  only  through  sheer  good  humor  and  good  fellowship  that  he  joined 
Balzac  one  morning  on  a  certain  exploring  trip. 

Balzac  had  written  a  story  which  he  could  not  let  go  to  the  printer's  be- 
cause the  name  of  the  hero  had  not  yet  been  discovered.  He  held  that  there 
was  but  one  name  which  could  fit  all  the  qualities  of  the  imaginary  person, 
that  that  name  was  already  in  actual  existence,  and  that  it  might  be  found  by 
a  careful  consideration  of  the  signs  in  the  Paris  streets.  He  had  thought  of 
many  names  ;  none  filled  the  character  ;  none  expressed  it ;  none  would  do. 
So  he  drags  Leon  Gozlan  for  hours  through  the  streets.  Gozlan  reads  the 
signs  on  one  side,  Balzac  on  the  other.  In  vain  Gozlan  proposes  name  after 
name.  Balzac  is  pitiless.  Suddenly  Gozlan  feels  Balzac's  aim  on  his.  It 
trembles  with  excitement.  In  a  broken  voice  he  whispers,  "  There,  there  ; 
read  !"  Gozlan  looks  round  and  reads  the  name  of  Marcas.  "  In  this  name," 
says  Balzac,  "there  is  the  philosopher,  the  great  mathematician,  the  unrecog- 
nized poet."  The  name  is  chosen.  Balzac  decides  to  add  the  initial  Z,  which 
would  give  it  "  une  flanime,  une  aigrette,  une  etoile."  He  discourses  volubly 
on  the  subject.  "Marcas  must  be  a  great  artist,  perhaps  a  Benvenuto  Cel- 
lini." Gozlan,  less  confident  of  the  physiognomy  of  names,  makes  inquiries 
at  the  house.  "  Marcas  is  a  tailor  !"  he  cries,  exultingly,  "  A  tailor  !"  repeats 
the  novelist,  with  an  air  of  discouragement :  "  he  deserved  a  better  fate.  Never 
mind,  I  will  immortalize  him."  In  spite  of  this  living  refutation,  Balzac  clung 
to  his  theory,  and  in  the  preface  to  his  story  of  "Z.  Marcas"  he  insists  that 
no  man  so  cognomened  could  be  other  than  a  great  artist,  and  launches 
out  into  a  disquisition  on  the  influence  exercised  by  names  over  the  destiny 
of  men. 

It  is  not  often  that  we  have  the  history  of  a  name  so  accurately  set  forth. 
The  nearest  approach  to  it  is  in  Daudet's  own  story  of  the  name  of  Landouzie. 

Landouzie,  like  Sir  Fretful  Plagiary  or  Fadladeen  in  England,  has  recently 
become  in  France  a  synonyme  for  a  jealous  and  backbiting  critic.  The  name 
and  the  character  first  appeared  in  Daudet's  "Jack,"  but  acquired  greater 
prominence  in  the  dramatization  of  that  novel  by  Daudet  and  the  actor 
Lafontaine. 

Daudet  was  supposed  to  have  invented  the  name,  but  in  one  of  his  recent 
prefaces  he  explains  that  it  was  found  by  him  under  such  unusual  circum- 
stances that  he  made  an  oath  to  employ  it  some  day  in  a  story.  During  the 
siege  of  Paris  he  was  invited  by  the  commandant  of  a  company  oi  francs- 
tiretirs  to  accompany  him  to  their  head-quarters  at  Nanterre.  While  the  two 
friends  were  conversing  there,  a  messenger  hastened  up  with  the  news  that 
the  Prussians  were  attacking  Rueil.  Every  man,  save  the  novelist,  seized 
his  gun.  Daudet  asked  for  a  weapon.  "  There  is  only  one  available,"  said 
the  commandant,  "poor  Landouzie's."  "  Landouzie!  what  an  odd  name!" 
said  Daudet.  "Who  is  he?"  "Our  sergeant-major.  He  will  never  use  a 
gun  again  :  he  has  not  many  hours  to  live." 

The  civilian  set  forward  with  his  friends.     Next  morning  they  reached  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  789 

station  of  Rueil,  and  found  themselves  in  the  midst  of  a  company  of  ^^ardes 
viobiles.  "  Who  is  tiiat  man  ?"  asked  the  corporal,  eying  Daudet  sus- 
piciously. In  vain  exi^Janations  were  offered.  The  corporal  felt  convinced 
the  civilian  was  a  German  s)5y,  and  led  him  before  the  major.  "I  went  trem- 
bling," says  Daudet,  "  with  Landouzie's  gun  in  my  hand.  Happily  for  me, 
the  major  had  read  my  '  Lettres  de  mon  Moulin.'  Had  he  not,  I  should  cer- 
tainly have  been  shot."  Hence  the  name  of  Landouzie  became  impressed  on 
his  mind. 

Nancy,  Miss,  an  opprobrious  epithet  for  an  exceedingly  effeminate,  over- 
nice  young  man.  The  original  Miss  Nancy,  however,  was  a  Mrs.  Anna  Old- 
field,  a  celebrated  actress,  who  died  in  1730  and  was  buried  in  Westminster 
Abbey.  She  was  extremely  vain  and  nice  about  her  dress,  and  as  she  lay 
in  state,  attended  by  two  noblemen,  she  was  attired,  as  she  had  directed 
shortly  before  her  death,  in  "a  very  fine  Brussels  lace  head-dress,  a  Holland 
shift  with  a  tucker  and  double  ruffles  of  the  same  lace,  a  pair  of  new  kid 
gloves,"  etc.,  a  circumstance  alluded  to  by  Pope  in  the  lines, — 

"Odious!  in  woollen?  'twould  a  saint  provoke  !" 

Were  the  last  words  that  poor  Narcissa  spoke. 

Moral  Essays. 

The  horror  expressed  against  woollens  is  a  reference  to  the  ancient  custom, 
originally  introduced  by  act  of  Parliament  as  a  compulsory  regulation,  in- 
tended to  encourage  the  manufacture  of  woollen  cloth  within  the  kingdom, 
of  burying  the  dead  in  woollen  shrouds. 

Natick  Cobbler,  The,  Henry  Wilson,  Vice-President  of  the  United 
States,  elected  with  General  Grant  in  1872.  He  was  born  in  Natick,  Massa- 
chusetts, where  he  in  his  boyhood  learned  the  trade  of  shoemaker. 

National  characteristics.  Carlyle,  writing  in  1827,  records  the  fact  that, 
except  by  name,  Jean  Paul  Friedrich  Richter  was  at  that  time  little  known 
out  of  Germany.  "The  only  thing  connected  with  him,  we  think,  that  has 
reached  this  country  is  his  saying, — imported  by  Madame  de  Stael  and  thank- 
fully pocketed  by  most  newspaper  critics, — Providence  has  given  to  the 
French  the  empire  of  the  land  ;  to  the  English,  that  of  the  sea  ;  to  the  Ger- 
mans, that  of  the  air."  Probably  this  still  remains  his  most-quoted  saying, 
as  the  best-known  of  Heine's  witticisms  is  his  comparison  of  the  Englishman 
and  the  Frenchman  :  "  I  verily  believe  that  God  loves  a  blaspheming  French- 
man better  than  a  praying  Englishman."  On  the  other  hand,  Dr.  Johnson 
very  naturally  thinks  that  even  British  taciturnity  is  better  than  French  vola- 
tility :  "  A  Frenchman  must  be  always  talking,  whether  he  knows  anything 
of  the  matter  or  not ;  an  Englishman  is  content  to  say  nothing  when  he  has 
nothing  to  say."  (Boswp:ll  :  Life,  ch.  x.)  Emerson,  in  his  "  English  Traits," 
under  the  head  of  "  Manners,"  says,  "  I  find  the  Englishman  to  be  him  of  all 
men  who  stands  firmest  in  his  shoes." 

There  is  an  old  saying  of  uncertain  parentage  which  affirms  that  an  Eng- 
lishman is  never  happy  save  when  he  is  miserable,  a  Scotchman  is  never  at 
home  save  when  he  is  abroad,  an  Irishman  is  never  at  peace  save  when  he  is 
fighting,  a  Welshman  never  keeps  anything  till  he  has  lost  it.  This  para- 
doxically but  effectively  touches  off  the  chief  characteristics  of  the  inhabi- 
tants of  Great  Britain.  Separate  proverbs  affirm  the  same  truths  in  detail. 
"  The  Englishmen  take  their  pleasures  sadly,"  is  a  well-known  French 
saying. 

Had  Cain  been  Scot,  God  would  have  changed  his  doom. 

Not  forced  him  w.tnder,  but  confined  him  home, 

is  a  couplet  which  reaffirms  the  judgment  of  many  proverbial  sayings,  as,  e.g.. 


790  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

"  A  Scottish  man  and  a  Newcastle  grindstone  travel  all  the  world  over." 
And  the  popular  idea  of  the  Irishman  represents  him  as  suavely  asking, 
"  Will  any  gintleman  tread  on  the  tail  o'  me  coat  ?"  as  a  preliminary  to  further 
amenities. 

A  Scotch  saying,  speaking  of  food,  says  that  "  the  Englishman  weeps,  the 
Irishman  sleeps,  but  the  Scotchman  gaes  till  he  gets  it."  As  to  the  Welsh- 
man, a  Welsh  proverb  itself  acknowledges  that  "  the  older  the  Welshman 
the  more  madman."  .    . 

With  the  exception,  perhaps,  of  the  Irish,  the  natives  of  Great  Britam 
are  not  favorites  in  Continental  Europe:  proverbial  sayings  usually  bear 
hard  upon  them.  Under  Albion,  Perfide,  we  have  already  given  a  few  ex- 
amples. "The  Emperor  of  Germany,  "  so  runs  an  old  French  saw,  "is  the 
king  of  kings,  the  King  of  Spain  king  of  men,  the  King  of  France  king  of 
asses,  the  King  of  England  king  of  devils."  And  as  popular  estimates  of 
other  nations,  take  the  following  from  various  quarters  : 

The  Italians  are  wise  before  the  deed,  the  Germans  in  the  deed,  the  French  after  the  deed. 
— Italian.  . 

A  Polish  bridge,  a  Bohemian  monk,  a  Swabian  aun,  Italian  devotion,  and  German  fasting 
are  not  worth  a  bean. — German.  .      ,     > 

The  Italians  are  known  by  their  singing,  the  French  by  their  dancing,  the  Spaniards  by 
their  bravado,  the  Germans  by  their  drinking.  (But  this  translation  spoils  the  hit  and  rhyme 
of  the  original:  "  L'ltaliani  al  cantare,  i  Francesi  al  ballare,  i  Spagnuoli  al  bravare,  i 
Tedeschi  alio  sbevacchiare,  si  conoscono.")— //a/:i»«. 

The  Italians  cry,  the  Germans  bawl,  the  French  sm%.— French  and  Italian. 

The  Frenchman  sings  well  when  his  throat  is  mo\^\.ffacA.— Portuguese. 

If  the  devil  came  out  of  hell  to  fight,  there  would  forthwith  be  a  Frenchman  to  accept  the 
challenge. — French. 

When  the  Frenchman  sleeps,  the  devil  rocks  \{\m.— French. 

No  German  remains  where  he  is  well  o^.— German.  (This  agrees  with  the  description  of 
Tacitus,  "  The  German  mind  cannot  brook  repose.") 

The  Germans  carry  their  wit  in  their  fingers.— French. 

Italy,  heads,  holidays,  and  tempests  ("  Italia,  teste,  feste  e  tempeste").— //rt/7a«. 

It  is  better  to  be  in  the  forest  and  eat  pine-cones  than  to  live  in  a  castle  with  Spaniards.— 
Italian.  _        .  , 

Abstract  from  a  Spaniard  all  his  good  qualities,  and  there  remains  a  Portuguese.— S/amsh. 

When  the  Spaniard  sings,  eitlier  he  is  mad  or  he  has  not  a  doit.— Spanish . 

Succors  of  Spain,  either  late  or  never. — Spanish. 

Things  of  Spain  ("  cosas  de  Espaiia"),  a  proverbial  term  in  Spain  for  abuses,  anomalies, 
and  faults  of  all  sorts). 

Poland  is  the  hell  of  peasants,  the  paradise  of  Jews,  the  purgatory  of  burghers,  the  heaven 
of  nobles,  and  the  gold-mine  of  foreigners. —  Gervian. 

Native,  an  English  name  for  oysters  raised  in  a  bed  other  than  the  natural 
one.     These  are  considered  very  superior. 

An  epicure,  while  eating  oysters,  swallowed  one  that  was  not  fresh.  "Zounds,  waiter!" 
he  ejaculated,  making  a  wry  face,  "  what  sort  of  an  oyster  do  you  call  this?"  "  A  native, 
sir,"  replied  the  wielder  of  the  knife.  "  A  native  !— I  call  it  a  settler  :  so  you  need  not  open 
any  more." — Horace  Smith  :  The  Tin  Trutnpet. 

Native  Americans,  one  of  the  many  names  by  which  the  American,  or 
Know-Nothing,  party  (g.  v.),  whose  real  name  was  secret,  was  popularly  called. 
Natural  child.     At  present  this  term  means  an  illegitimate  child,  a  bas- 
tard.    Anciently  it  meant  the  exact  contrary  : 

Then  Ector  eftersones  entrid  agayne, 

With  the  noble  men  .  .  .  [and]  his  naturill  brether. 

Destruction  of  Troy,  1.  6844. 

The  modern  use  of  the  term  dates  from  the  beginning  of  the  seventeenth 
century.  Yet  so  late  as  1641,  in  a  grant  of  tuition,  etc.,  Anne  Lawrence  is 
described  as  "  natural  and  legitimate  daughter  of  Lawrence  Edmundson,  late 
of  Maghull,  CO.  Lancaster,  deceased"  (quoted  in  Notes  and  Queries,  seventh 
series,  iv.  51). 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  79 ^ 

A  friend,  who  was  about  to  marry  the  natural  daughter  of  the  Due  de  .  was  ex- 
patiating at  great  length  on  the  virtues,  good  qualities,  and  talents  of  his  future  wile,  but 
without  making  allusion  to  her  birth.  "  A  t'entendre,"  observed  Montrond,  "  on  dirait  que 
tu  epouses  une  fille  surnaturelle"  ("  To  hear  you,  one  would  imagine  you  were  going  to  marry 
a  supernatural  daughter").— Gronow  :  Recollections. 

Nature.  One  touch  of  nature  makes  the  -whole  world  kin.  This 
famous  line  from  "  Troilus  and  Cressida,"  Act  iii.,  Sc.  3,  is  popularly  misappre- 
hended to  mean,  Once  touch  the  feelings  and  the  whole  world  is  with  you. 
It  is  really  a  cynical  expression,  meaning  that  the  love  of  novelty,  whether 
worthy  of  love  or  not,  is  common  to  all  mankind.  Ulysses  is  railing  at  the 
Greeks  for  that  they  have  well-nigh  forgotten  their  former  idol  Achilles  and 
are  now  worshipping  Ajax.     Virtue,  he  says,  need  not  seek 

Remuneration  for  the  thing  it  was. 

******* 
One  touch  of  nature  makes  the  whole  world  kin, — 
That  all,  with  one  consent,  praise  new-born  gauds. 
Though  they  are  made  and  moulded  of  things  past. 
And  give  to  dust,  that  is  a  little  gilt, 
More  laud  than  gilt  o'er-dusted. 

Nature  the  art  of  God.  "  In  brief,"  says  Sir  Thomas  Browne,  in  his 
"  Religio  Medici,"  "all  things  are  artificial,  for  Nature  is  the  Art  of  God," — 
words  which  Hobbes  has  adopted  unaltered  in  the  first  line  of  his  introduction 
to  "  Leviathan."  But,  indeed,  the  definition  is  as  old  as  Plato,  who  says, 
"Those  things  which  are  said  to  be  done  by  Nature  are  indeed  done  by 
Divine  Art." 

Young  borrowed  the  phrase,  and  spoiled  it : 

The  course  of  Nature  is  the  art  of  God. 

Night  Thoughts,  xi.,  I.  1267. 

It  is  curious  to  compare  these  aphorisms  with  the  converse  statement  of 
Burke,  "  Art  is  man's  nature."  The  two  views  which  make  nature  the  divine 
art,  or  art  human  nature,  are  philosophically  combined  in  the  well-known  pas- 
sage in  the  "  Winter's  Tale,"  where  Shakespeare  substantially  explains  that 
the  difference  between  them  is  ultimately  arbitrary.  Perdita  has  bestowed  on 
the  disguised  visitors  Polixenes  and  Camillo  rosemary  and  rue,  for  that  they 
"keep  seeming  and  savor  all  the  winter  long."  Whereupon  Polixenes  play- 
fully remonstrates  : 

Shepherdess, — 

A  fair  one  are  you, — well  you  fit  our  ages 

With  flowers  of  winter. 
Perdita.  Sir,  the  year  growing  ancient — 

Not  yet  on  summer's  death,  nor  on  the  birth 

Of  trembling  winter— the  fairest  flowers  o'  the  season 

Are  our  carnations  and  streaked  gillyvors, 

Which  some  call  Nature's  bastards.     Of  that  kind 

Our  rustic  garden's  barren  ;  and  I  care  not 

To  get  slips  of  them. 
Polixenes.  Wherefore,  gentle  maiden. 

Do  you  neglect  thern? 
Perdita.  For  I  have  heard  it  said, 

There  is  an  art,  which  in  their  piedness  shares 

With  great  creating  Nature. 
Polixenes.  Say  there  be ; 

Yet  Nature  is  made  better  by  no  mean. 

But  Nature  makes  that  mean  ;  so  o'er  that  art, 

Which,  you  say,  adds  to  Nature,  is  an  art 

That  Nature  makes.     You  see,  sweet  maid,  we  marry 

A  gentler  scion  to  the  wildest  stock. 

And  make  conceive  a  bark  of  baser  kind 

By  bud  of  nobler  race.     'I'his  is  an  art 

Which  does  mend  Nature — change  it  rather  ;  but 

The  art  itself  is  Nature. 


792  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Perdita.  So  it  is. 

Polixenes.     Then  make  your  garden  rich  in  gillyvors. 
And  do  not  call  them  bastards. 

Act  iv.,  So.  4. 

Ne  plus  ultra  (also  written  "non  plus  ultra"  and  "nee  plus  ultra"),  a 
Latin  phrase  used  to  indicate  the  highest  excellence,  the  remotest  limit  or 
boundary.  Probably  it  comes  from  Job  xxxviii.  11  :  "Hitherto  shalt  thou 
come,  but  no  further  :  and  here  shall  thy  proud  waves  be  stayed." 

Ne  quid  nimis,  the  Latin  and  more  familiar  form  of  the  famous  maxim 
upiarov  fdrpov  ("Nothing  to  excess,"  or,  less  literally,  "Moderation  in  all 
things"),  which  is  attributed  to  Cleobulus,  to  Chilo,  or  to  Solon,  and  with  the 
equally  famous  "  Know  Thyself "  (q.v.)  was  inscribed  over  the  temple  of 
Apollo  at  Delphi.  Many  classical  and  modern  poets  and  thinkers  have 
repeated  the  idea,  if  not  the  phrase.  In  "  Medea"  we  have  Euripides  calling 
moderation  "the  noblest  gift  of  heaven," — not  half  as  fine  a  phrase  as  the 
Oriental  "  Moderation  is  the  silken  thread  running  through  all  the  virtues." 
In  Roman  literature  we  have  the  "Medio  tutissimus  ibis"  ("You  will  travel 
safest  in  the  middle")  of  Ovid  (Metamorphoses,  ii.  137),  and  the  "  aurea  medio- 
critas,"  or  "  golden  mean,"  of  Horace, — 

He  that  holds  fast  the  golden  mean, 
And  lives  contentedly  between 

The  little  and  the  great. 
Feels  not  the  wants  that  pinch  the  poor. 
Nor  plagues  that  haunt  the  rich  man's  door, 

Odes,  n.,yi.s: 

as  well  as  his 

Est  modus  in  rebus,  sunt  certi  denique  fines 
Quos  ultra  citraque  nequit  consistere  rectum, 

Satires,  I.,  i.  106, — 

paraphrased  thus  by  Conington  : 

Yes,  there's  a  mean  in  morals.     Life  has  lines 
To  north  or  south  of  which  all  virtue  pines. 

In  French  we  have  La  Fontaine  translating  the  maxim  almost  literally  in  the 
well-known  line, — 

Rien  de  trop  est  un  point, 

Fables,  Book  ix..  No.  11 ; 

and  Ronsard  applying  the  idea  to  literature, — 

Ni  trop  haut,  ni  trop  bas  ;  c'est  le  souverain  style  ; 

and  Moliere  in  "  The  Misanthrope," — 

La  parfaite  raison  fuit  toute  extremity  _ 
Et  veut  que  I'on  soit  sage  avec  sobriete, 
("  Perfect  reason  avoids  all  extremes. 

And  directs  one  to  be  wise  with  sobriety  ;") 

and  Quinault  in  "  Armide," — 

Ce  n'est  pas  etre  sage 
D'etre  plus  sage  qu'il  ne  le  faut, 
("  It  is  not  wise  to  be  wiser  than  is  necessary  ;") — 
and  the  comic  dramatist  Monvel,  in  a  refrain  which  Desaugiers  was  fond  of 
quoting, — 

Faut  d'la  vertu,  pas  trop  n'en  faut ; 

L'exces  en  tout  est  un  defaut, 

("  Some  virtue  is  needed,  but  not  too  much  of  it.     Excess  in  anything  is  a  defect,")— 

which  reads  as  if  it  might  be  a  reminiscence  of  the  Vulgate's  translation  of 

Paul's  advice  in  the  twelfth  chapter  of  his  Epistle  to  the  Romans  :  "  Non  plus 

sapere  quam  oportet  sapere,  sed  sapere  ad  sobrietatem."     Again,  we  have 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  ^jg^ 

Talleyrand,  in  a  similar  vein,  advising  the  beginner  in  diplomacy,  "  Pas  trop 
de  zele"  ("  Not  too  much  zeal"),  while  Louis  Philippe  hits  upon  the  best 
laconic  equivalent  in  his  "juste  milieu." 

The  Bishop  of  Amiens  was  an  adept  in  conveying  a  moral  lesson  under  the  guise  of  a  jest 
or  a  witty  remark.  To  a  lady  who  consulted  him  about  the  use  of  paint,  which  some  allowed 
but  others  forbade  her,  he  replied,  "  As  for  myself,  I  always  like  people  to  observe  a  happy 
medium  {Jasle  mitieuX  in  everything ;  therefore  I  will  allow  you  to  use  it  on  one  side  of  your 
face."— Aa  Famille,  Paris. 

In  English  the  same  lesson  is  taught  in  many  ways  : 

Be  valyaunt,  but  not  too  venturous.     Let  thy  attyre  bee  comely,  but  not  costly. 

Lyly  :  Euphues,  1579  (Arber's  reprint),  p.  39. 
Costly  thy  habit  as  thy  purse  can  buy, 
But  not  express'd  in  fancy  ;  rich,  not  gaudy. 

Shakbspeark:  Hamlet,  Act  i.,  Sc.  3. 

I  have  often  advised  you  to  strike  the  senses  of  everybody,  that  is,  their  eyes  and  their 
ears,  and  their  hearts  will  follow,  for  who  is  guided  by  mere  reason?  Learn  to  distinguish 
between  trifles  and  trifles  ;  some  are  necessary,  some  agreeable,  and  some  utterly  despicable 
in  the  common  intercourse  of  life.  For  instance,  dress  is  undoubtedly  a  trifle  in  itself,  too 
gnat  accuracy  in  that  trifle  forms  a  fop,  too  much  negligence  a  sloven  ;  bad  extremes  both, 
but  in  medio  tutissimus  ibis.  Conform  to  the  common  fashion,  which  is  in  general  equi- 
distant from  each. — Chesterfield  :  Letters  to  his  Godstxi,  p.  275. 

But  there  is  modus  in  rebus ;  there  are  certain  lines  which  must  be  drawn ;  and  I  am 
only  half  pleased,  for  my  part,  when  Bob  Bowstreet,  whose  connection  with  letters  is  through 
policemen  X  and  Y,  and  Tom  Garbage,  who  is  an  esteemed  contributor  to  the  Kennel  Mis- 
cellany, propose  to  join  fellowship  as  brother  literary  men,  slap  me  on  the  back,  and  call  me 
old  boy  or  by  my  Christian  name. — 7'hackf.kay  :   The  Virginians,  vol.  i.  ch.  xliii. 

See  also  quotations  grouped  under  Man  Wants  but  Little  Here  Below. 

Ne  sutor  ultra  crepidam  (L,  "  Let  not  the  cobbler  go  beyond  his  last"), 
a  proverbial  expression  applied  to  one  who  exceeds  the  proper  functions  of 
criticism  or  meddles  in  matters  with  which  he  is  not  acquainted.  Pliny  the 
Elder,  in  his  "Natural  History,"  Book  xxxv.,  Sec.  84,  tells  the  story  of  its 
origin.  "  It  was  a  practice,"  he  says,  "  of  Apelles,  when  he  had  completed 
a  work,  to  exhibit  it  to  the  view  of  the  passers-by  in  some  exposed  place,  while 
he  himself,  concealed  behind  the  picture,  would  listen  to  the  criticisms.  .  .  . 
It  was  under  these  circumstances,  they  say,  that  he  was  censured  by  a  shoe- 
maker for  having  represented  the  shoes  with  one  latchet  too  few.  The  next 
day,  the  shoemaker,  proud  at  seeing  the  former  error  corrected,  thanks  to  his 
advice,  began  to  criticise  the  leg ;  whereupon  Apelles,  full  of  indignation, 
popped  his  head  out  and  reminded  him  that  a  shoemaker  should  give  no 
opinion  above  the  shoes  ["  ne  supra  crepidam  sutor  judicaret"], — a  piece  of 
advice  which  has  passed  into  a  proverbial  saying." 

Irving,  in  his  "  Knickerbocker's  New  York,"  thus  refers  to  the  habit  of 
criticising  and  complaining  in  the  time  of  William  the  Testy:  "Cobblers 
abandoned  their  stalls  to  give  lessons  on  political  economy ;  blacksmiths 
suffered  their  fires  to  go  out  while  they  stirred  up  the  fires  of  faction  ;  and 
even  tailors,  though  said  to  be  the  ninth  parts  of  humanity,  neglected  their 
own  measures  to  criticise  the  measures  of  government.  Strange  !  that  the 
science  of  government,  which  seems  to  be  so  generally  understood,  should 
invariably  be  denied  to  the  only  ones  called  upon  to  exercise  it.  Not  one  of 
the  politicians  in  question  but,  take  his  word  for  it,  could  have  administered 
affairs  ten  times  better  than  William  the  Testy." 

Socrates  used  to  say  that  although  no  man  undertakes  a  trade  he  has  not 
learned,  even  the  meanest,  yet  every  one  thinks  himself  sufficiently  qualified 
for  the  hardest  of  all  trades, — that  of  government. 

A  shoemaker  was  arrested  for  bigamy  and  brought  before  the  magistrate.  "  Which  wife," 
asked  a  by-stander,  "  will  he  be  obliged  to  take?"  Smith,  always  ready  at  a  joke,  replied, 
"  He  is  a  cobbler,  and  of  course  must  stick  to  his  last." — Marshall  Bkownk  :  Wit  and 
Humor. 

21  67 


794  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Necessity  is  the  mother  of  invention,  a  proverb  common  to  most 
modern  nations,  and  based  on  the  Latin  "Mater  artium  necessitas."  In  St. 
Gregory  Nazianzen  it  appears  in  the  form,  "  For  there  is  nothing  more  in- 
ventive than  suffering."  A  cognate  phrase  is,  "  Needs  must  when  the  devil 
drives"  (^.  v.). 

Shell  had  learnt  and  forgotten  the  exordium  of  a  speech  which  began  with  the  word 
"  Necessity."  This  word  he  had  repeated  three  times,  when  Sir  Robert  Peel  broke  in,  "  is 
not  always  the  mother  of  invention." — Abraham  Haywakd  :  Essays. 

"  Necessity  knowTS  no  law,"  is  a  well-known  axiom.  Among  the  ancients 
Publius  Syrus  said,  "  A  wise  man  never  refuses  anything  to  necessity"  {Maxim 
540),  explaining  his  meaning  more  fully  in  Maxim  553:  "Necessity  knows 
no  law  except  to  conquer."  In  the  translation  of  "  Don  Quixote"  it  appears, 
"  Necessity  has  no  law."    Shakespeare  says,  in  "  Julius  Caesar,"  Act  iv.,  Sc.  3, — 

The  deep  of  night  is  crept  upon  our  talk. 

And  nature  must  obey  necessity. 

An  anonymous  couplet  finds  a  facile  jest  in  the  phrase  : 
Why  is  Necessity  like  Lord  Anstruther's  brother  ? 
Necessity  knows  no  Law,  no  more  does  Anstruther. 

But  necessity  is  often  the  plea  of  the  tyrant,  as  well  as  of  the  distressed : 
And  with  necessity, 
The  tyrant's  plea,  excused  his  devilish  deeds. 

Milton  :  Paradise  Lost,  Book  iv.,  I.  393. 
Necessity  is  the  argument  of  tyrants ;  it  is  the  creed  of  slaves.— William  Pitt  :  Speech 
on  the  India  Bill,  November,  1783. 

Neck-verse,  a  verse  from  the  Psalter,  which  a  prisoner  who  claimed 
benefit  of  clergy  {q.v.)  was  obliged  to  read,  and  by  his  ability  to  do  so  he 
literally  "saved  his  neck."  The  magistrate  might  open  the  book  at  random 
and  test  him.  But  it  was  more  common  for  the  bishop's  ordinary,  ap- 
pointed for  the  purpose  at  each  prison,  to  give  some  particular  verse,  which 
at  Newgate  was  usually  Psalm  li.  i,  known  as  David's  prayer  for  remission 
of  sin  :  "  Miserere  mei,  Deus,  secundum  magnam  misericordiam  tuam  ;  et 
secundum  multitudinem  miserationum  tuaruni,  dele  iniquitatem  meam"  ("  Have 
mercy  upon  me,  O  God,  according  to  thy  loving-kindness  :  according  to  the 
multitude  of  thy  tender  mercies  blot  out  my  transgressions").  If  the  ordi- 
nary said,  "  Legit  ut  clericus"  ("  He  reads  like  a  clerk"),  the  offender  was  only 
burned  in  the  hand ;  otherwise  he  suffered  death  (3  Edw.  I.,  1274). 

There  are  many  allusions  in  the  old  dramatists  to  this  custom,  as,- 
Within  forty  feet  of  the  gallows,  conning  his  neck-verse. 

DoDSLEY  :    The  Jew  of  Malta,  viii.  368. 

Twang  it  perfectly, 
As  you  would  read  your  neck-verse. 

Massinger  :    The  Guardian,  iv.  i. 
An  old  song  has  the  following  : 

If  a  monk  had  been  taken 
For  stealing  of  bacon, 

For  burglary,  murder,  or  rape. 
If  he  could  but  rehearse 
(Well  prompt)  his  neck-verse. 
He  never  could  fail  to  escape. 

The  British  Apollo  (1710). 

Needs  must  -when  the  devQ  drives,  an  old  English  proverb,  quoted 
both  by  Shakespeare  {All's  Well  that  Ends  Well,  Act  i.,  Sc.  3)  and  Mar- 
lowe {Doctor  Faustus,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  2),  in  the  less  elliptic  form,  "  He  must 
needs  go  that  the  devil  drives."  But  half  a  century  before  Marlowe's  great 
play  John  Heywood  had  said, — 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  795 

There  is  a  proverb  which  trewe  now  preveth, 
He  must  needs  go  that  the  dyvell  dryveth. 

Johan  Johan  the  Husband  (1533). 

Other  English  variants  of  the  proverb  are,  "  They  run  fast  whom  the  devil 
drives,"  and  "  He  that  the  devil  drives  feels  no  lead  at  his  heels."  Analogous 
expressions  abound  in  the  proverbial  literature  of  other  countries. 

Nel  mezzo  del  cammin  di  nostra  vita  (It.,  "  Midway  in  the  journey 
of  our  life"),  a  famous  line  in  Dante's  "  Inferno,"  Canto  i.  Gary  thus  trans- 
lates the  passage : 

In  the  midway  of  this  our  mortal  life, 
I  found  me  in  a  gloomy  wood,  astray. 
Gone  from  the  path  direct. 

Nel  mezzo  del  cammin  di  nostra  vita.  This  line,  with  which  Dante  begins  the  first  canto 
of  the  •'  Divine  Comedy,"  occurs  to  me  this  evening  for  the  hundredth  time  perhaps.  But  it 
is  the  first  time  that  it  touches  me.  With  what  interest  do  I  reflect  upon  it,  and  how  serious 
and  significant  do  I  find  it !  It  is  because  at  this  moment  I  can  apply  it  to  myself.  I  am  in 
my  turn  at  the  point  where  Dante  was  when  the  old  sun  marked  the  first  year  of  the  four- 
teenth century.  I  am  midway  in  the  path  of  life,  if  we  suppose  that  path  equal  for  all  and 
leading  to  old  age. — Anatole  France. 

Nem.  con.,  a  contraction  for  ttemine  contradicente,  which  in  its  turn  is  bad 
Latin  for  nulla  contradicente, — i.e.,  no  one  contradicting.  It  would  be  inter- 
esting to  know  how  the  generally  tabooed  ablative  of  nemo  has  worked  itself 
into  popular  favor.  Even  so  correct  a  writer  as  Schopenhauer  uses  the  kin- 
dred barbarism  7iemine  dissentiente. 

Nemo  repente  fuit  turpissimus  (L.,  "  No  one  ever  became  very  wicked 
all  at  once"),  a  passage  in  Juvenal's  Satires,  II.,  66,  which  maybe  taken  as 
an  offset  to  Virgil's  phrase  in  the  "^neid"  (Book  vi.,  1.  126),  "  Facilis  de- 
scensus Averni"  (or,  as  some  texts  read, "  Averno"),  "  The  descent  to  Avernus 
[hell]  is  easy."  Easy  it  may  be,  but  the  journey  is  accomplished  by  gradual 
approaches. 

Nessus,  Shirt  of,  a  figure  used  oftener  by  Continental  writers  and  speakers 
than  by  English  :  thus,  Renan  alludes  to  the  "  Nessus  shirt  of  ridicule."  It  is 
used  in  speech  generally  as  a  simile  for  a  source  of  misfortune,  a  fatal  gift,  or, 
less  often,  anything  that  indelibly  wounds  the  susceptibilities,  and  it  is  bor- 
rowed from  the  fable  of  Hercules  and  the  centaur  Nessus,  who  was  ordered 
by  the  former  to  carry  his  wife  Dejanira  across  a  river.  Arrived  on  the  other 
side,  the  monster  offered  to  do  violence  to  the  woman,  which  seeing,  Hercules 
shot  and  killed  him  with  a  poisoned  arrow.  In  revenge,  the  dying  centaur 
gave  to  Dejanira  his  tunic,  saying  that  he  to  whom  she  should  give  it  would 
love  her  exclusively.  Dejanira  gave  it  to  her  husband,  who  as  soon  as  he  put 
it  on  was  devoured  by  the  poison  with  which  it  was  steeped.  It  clung  fast 
and  could  not  be  taken  off,  and  after  unutterable  agonies  Hercules  jumped 
into  a  blazing  funeral  pyre  which  he  caused  to  be  prepared,  and  was  con- 
sumed. 

New  and  True.  A  correspondent  of  Notes  and  Queries  (seventh  series, 
iv.  477)  says  that  Lessing  wrote  of  Voltaire,  "  Voltaire  writes  much  that  is 
good,  much  that  is  new,  but  what  is  good  is  not  new,  and  what  is  new  is  not 
good."  Unfortunately,  he  gives  this  on  the  authority  of  a  third  party,  and  is 
unable  to  supply  chapter  and  verse.  The  phrase,  however  originated,  has 
now  become  a  favorite  form  of  condemnatory  criticism, — the  adjective  true 
being  usually  substituted  for  good.  Daniel  Webster,  in  his  attack  on  the 
platform  of  the  American  Free-Soil  party  (September  i,  1848),  said,  "I  see 
nothing  in  it  both  new  and  valuable.  '  What  is  valuable  is  not  new,  and  what 
is  new  is  not  valuable.' "     But  even  in  this  form  he  puts  the  saying  in  quota- 


796  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

tion-marks.  A  somewhat  similar  antithesis  may  be  found  in  Macauiay  :  "  There 
were  gentlemen  and  there  were  seamen  in  the  navy  of  Charles  II.  But  the 
seamen  were  not  gentlemen,  and  the  gentlemen  were  not  seamen."  Ur. 
Johnson  quotes  from  Goldsmith  a  "  fine  passage"  from  the  "  Vicar  of  Wake- 
field," which  "  he  was  afterwards  fool  enough  to  expunge  :"  "  When  I  was  a 
young  man,  being  anxious  to  distinguish  myself,  I  was  perpetually  starting  new 
propositions.  But  I  soon  gave  this  over,  for  I  found  that  generally  what  was 
new  was  false."  (Boswell's  Life.  vol.  vii.  ch.  viii.)  After  all,  this  is  a  bald 
commonplace,  which  Goldsmith  did  well  to  cancel. 

Nevr  departure,  a  phrase  made  popular  by  Clement  C.  Vallandigham, 
one  of  the  leaders  of  the  Democrats,  to  express  the  policy  which  he  first 
urged  upon  the  party  at  a  convention  in  Montgomery  County,  Ohio,  May,  1871. 
Here  he  secured  the  adoption  of  his  principles  in  the  platform  known 
in  political  history  as  the  Dayton  platform.  Vallandigham's  new  departure 
was,  in  brief,  an  abandonment  of  the  old  policy  of  obstruction  and  opposition, 
the  acceptance  of  the  results  of  the  war  as  final,  including  the  Thirteenth, 
Fourteenth,  and  Fifteenth  Amendments,  which  the  Democracy  had  hitherto 
opposed  as  revolutionary,  and  the  commencement  of  a  new  policy  of  living 
and  vital  issues.  The  phrase  "  a  new  departure"  is  now  in  general  use,  and 
is  applied  to  any  radical  reform  or  change  of  base,  personal  or  political. 

Republicans  of  all  shades  of  opinion  have  for  a  good  while  been  urging  on  the  Democrats 
the  propriety  and  expediency  of  accepting  "  accomplished  facts," — that  is,  of  formally  ac- 
knowledging in  the  public  utterances  of  the  party  that  the  war  and  the  amendments  to  the 
Constitution  adopted  since  the  war  had  settled  certain  questions  beyond  further  dispute  or 
cavil.  These  questions  are  the  non-existence  of  the  constitutional  right  of  secession,  the 
abolition  and  perpetual  prohibition  of  slavery,  and  the  equality  of  all  men  before  the  law. 
Republicans  have  further  urged  on  them  the  propriety  of  acknowledging  the  validity  of  the 
public  debt  and  the  duty  of  the  nation  to  discharge  it  in  coin.  For  six  years  the  Democrats 
have  resolutely  refused  to  do  any  of  these  things.  ...  A  considerable  portion  of  the  party, 
headed  by  Mr.  Vallandigham,  seem  to  have  learned  wisdom  at  last,  and  propose  to  sur- 
render all  the  principal  points  in  their  former  creed,  and  to  begin  their  opposition  to  the  party 
in  power  on  a  new  line.  They  offer  to  do  what  the  Republican  party  has  been  doing,  main- 
tain the  results  of  the  war,  and  to  do  something  which  the  Republican  party  has  thus  far 
neglected  or  failed  to  do, — correct  and  restrain  the  evils  growing  out  of  the  war.  They  offer, 
for  instance,  while  adhering  to  the  three  new  constitutional  amendments,  to  oppose  the  dan- 
gerous tendency  which  the  Republican  party  has  for  some  time  been  manifesting  to  treat  the 
amendments  as  having  practically  abrogated  the  whole  Constitution  ;  or,  in  other  words,  as 
having  constituted  the  majority  in  both  houses  as  supreme  judges  of  what  is  and  what  is  not 
constitutional.  They  offer  to  treat  the  reconstruction  measures  as  finalities, — that  is,  to  put 
the  Southern  States  on  a  footing  of  equality  with  the  Northern  States,  and  put  further  inter- 
ference with  their  affairs  on  exactly  the  same  level  with  interference  in  the  affairs  of  New 
York  and  Massachusetts. — New  York  Nation,  June  8,  1871. 

NeTV  Timon  Quarrel.  A  curious  chapter  in  any  new  volume  on  the 
"Quarrels  of  Authors"  would  be  furnished  by  the  passage  at  arms  between 
Tennyson  and  Bulwer.  The  latter,  in  his  early  days,  had  an  unfortunate 
faculty  for  exciting  the  antagonism  of  his  fellow-authors.  It  was  unfortunate, 
because  he  was  extremely  sensitive  to  attack,  and  his  sensitiveness  was  in- 
creased by  the  fact  that  he  was  anxious  to  stand  well  with  his  brethren  of  the 
pen,  and  never  said  an  unkind  or  discourteous  word  about  them,  save  in  the 
way  of  retort. 

No  doubt  he  felt  like  a  good  fellow  wronged, — a  feeling  that  is  gall  and 
wormwood  to  a  sensitive  spirit. 

In  his  Autobiography  he  complains  of  the  "  ribald  attacks"  which  Thack- 
eray made  upon  him  in  the  pages  of  Eraser's,  and  doubtless  those  attacks  cut 
deep  into  his  soul.  Yet  he  wound  up  by  making  friends  with  Thackeray,  who 
in  one  of  his  prefaces  makes  public  profession  of  the  regret  with  which  he 
looked  back  upon  his  "Bulwig"  caricatures,  attributing  them  to  an  ebullition 
of  animal  spirits  in  a  young  and  thoughtless  writer,  unconscious  of  the  pain 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  797 

he  was  inflicting.  Maginn,  Lockhart,  Jeffrey,  all  the  wags  and  critics  of  the 
period,  had  their  fling  at  Bulwer.  Carlyle  expressed  a  loathing  for  him.  Even 
in  America,  Hawthorne,  in  one  of  his  "  Mosses  from  an  Old  Manse,"  says, 
"  Bulwer  I  detest.  He  is  the  very  pimple  of  the  age's  humbug."  Disraeli 
and  Dickens  are  almost  the  only  men  of  any  literary  standing  who  always 
looked  kindly  upon  the  author  of  "  Pelham." 

As  to  Tennyson,  he  showed  his  dislike  as  far  back  as  1830.  His  volume, 
"  Poems,  Chiefly  Lyrical,"  published  in  that  year,  contained  a  short  poem 
called  "A  Character,"  which  was  recognized  by  every  one  as  a  satire  on 
Bulwer. 

A  Character. 

With  a  half-glance  upon  the  sky 
At  night  he  said,  "  The  wanderings 
Of  this  most  intricate  Universe 
Teach  me  the  nothingness  of  things," 
Yet  could  not  all  creation  pierce 
Beyond  the  bottom  of  his  eye. 

He  spake  of  beauty  :  that  the  dull 

Saw  no  divinity  in  grass, 

Life  in  dead  stones,  or  spirit  in  air; 

Then  looking  as  'twere  in  a  glass, 

He  smoothed  his  chin  and  sleeked  his  hair, 

And  said  the  earth  was  beautiful. 

He  spake  of  virtue  :  not  the  gods 
More  purely  when  they  wish  to  charm 
Pallas  and  Juno  sitting  by  ; 
And  with  a  sweeping  of  the  arm, 
And  a  lack-lustre  dead-blue  eye, 
Devolved  his  rounded  periods. 

Most  delicately  hour  by  hour 
He  canvassed  human  mysteries. 
And  trod  on  silk,  as  if  the  winds 
Blew  his  own  praises  in  his  eyes. 
And  stood  aloof  from  other  minds 
In  impotence  of  fancied  power. 

With  lips  depressed  as  he  were  meek, 
Himself  unto  himself  he  sold  : 
Upon  himself  himself  did  feed  : 
Quiet,  dispassionate,  and  cold. 
And  other  than  his  form  of  creed, 
With  chiselled  features  clear  and  sleek. 

There  is  a  cruel  truth  in  this  dissection  of  the  vain,  self-conscious,  and  self- 
worshipping  Bulwer,  his  failure  to  accommodate  his  profession  to  his  prac- 
tices, his  affectation  of  Byronic  gloom,  his  utter  want  of  literary  sincerity. 

The  victim  writhed  under  the  lash.  But  it  was  many  years  before  he  re- 
taliated. In  his  "New  Timon,"  a  very  dull  and  insipid  romance  in  verse 
which  he  published  anonymously  in  1S46,  he  made  a  savage  onslaught  on  the 
young  poet  who  had  now  taken  a  recognized  place  among  the  immortals. 
No  doubt  the  fact  of  his  foeman's  success  in  the  line  of  literature  wherein  he 
himself  had  failed,  though  wishing  most  ardently  to  succeed,  added  venom  to 
the  onslaught.  But,  though  the  shaft  was  tipped  with  poison,  it  was  shot  by 
an  incompetent  hand,  and  recoiled  on  the  archer.  Indeed,  it  is  difficult  to 
conceive  of  anything  more  puerile,  more  unfair,  more  manifestly  dictated  by 
personal  spite,  than  the  following  lines  : 

I  seek  no  purfled  prettiness  of  phrase  ; 
A  soul  in  earnest  scorns  the  tricks  for  praise. 
If  to  my  verse  denied  the  Poet's  f.ime. 
This  merit,  rare  to  verse  that  wins,  1  claim ; 


er 


798  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

No  tawdry  grace  shall  womanize  my  pen  ! 
E'en  in  a  love-song,  man  should  write  for  men ! 
Not  mine,  not  mine  (O  Muse,  forbid  !)  the  boon 
Of  borrowed  notes,  the  mockbird's  modish  tune, 
The  jingling  medley  of  purloined 


Outbabying  Wordsworth  and  outglittering  Keates  ["V], 

Where  all  the  airs  of  patchwork-pastoral  chime 

To  drowsy  ears  in  Tennysonian  rhyme ! 

Am  I  enthralled  but  by  the  sterile  rule. 

The  formal  pupil  of  a  frigid  school. 

If  to  old  laws  my  Spartan  tastes  adhere. 

If  the  old  vigorous  music  charms  my  ear. 

Where  sense  with  sound  and  ease  with  weight  combine 

In  the  pure  silver  of  Pope's  ringing  line  ; 

Or  where  the  pulse  of  man  beats  loud  and  strong 

In  the  frank  flow  of  Dryden's  lusty  song? 

Let  School-miss  Alfred  vent  her  chaste  delight 

On  "  darling  little  room  so  warm  and  bright," 

Chaunt  "  I'm  a-weary"  in  infectious  strain. 

And  catch  her  "  blue  fly  singing  i'  the  pane." 

Though  praised  by  Critics,  though  adored  by  Blues, 

Though  Peel  with  pudding  plump  the  puling  Muse, 

Though  Theban  taste  the  Saxon's  purse  controls, 

And  pensions  Tennyson  while  starves  a  Knowles, 

Rather  be  thou,  my  poor  Pierian  Maid, 

Decent  at  least  in  Hayley's  weeds  arrayed. 

Than  patch  with  frippery  every  tinsel  line, 

And  flaunt,  admired,  the  Rag  Fair  of  the  Nine ! 
In  a  note  to  this  precious  rubbish  the  author  says,  "  I  have  no  blind  en- 
thusiasm for  Mr.  Knowles,  and  I  allow  both  the  grave  faults  of  his  diction 
and  the  somewhat  narrow  limits  within  which  is  contracted  his  knowledge  of 
character  and  life,  but  no  one  can  deny  that  he  has  nobly  supported  the 
British  Drama  ;  that  he  has  moved  the  laughter  and  tears  of  thousands  ;  that 
he  forms  an  actual,  living,  and  imperishable  feature  in  the  loftier  literature  of 
his  time  ;  that  the  history  of  the  English  stage  can  never  be  revyritten  here- 
after without  long  and  honorable  mention  of  the  author  of  '  Virginius'  and 
'The  Hunchback.'  The  most  that  can  be  said  of  Mr.  Tennyson  is  that  he  is 
the  favorite  of  a  small  circle ;  to  the  mass  of  the  public  little  more  than  his 
name  is  known  ;  he  has  moved  no  thousands,  he  has  created  no  world  of 
characters,  he  has  labored  out  no  deathless  truths,  nor  enlarged  our  knowl- 
edge of  the  human  heart  by  the  delineation  of  various  and  deathless  passions  ; 
he  has  lent  a  stout  shoulder  to  no  sinking  but  manly  cause,  dear  to  the 
Nation  and  to  Art ;  yet  if  the  uncontradicted  statements  in  the  journals  be 
true,  this  gentleman  has  been  quartered  on  the  public  purse  ;  he  is  in  the 
prime  of  life,  belonging  to  a  wealthy  family,  without,  I  believe,  wife  or  chil- 
dren ;  at  the  very  time  that  Mr.  Knowles  was  lecturing  for  bread  in  foreign 
lands,  verging  towards  old  age,  unfriended  even  by  the  public  he  has  charmed  ! 
Such  is  the  justice  of  our  Ministers,  such  the  national  gratitude  to  those 
whom  we  thank — and  starve  !" 

The  most  noticeable  thing  about  both  the  lines  and  the  note  to  them  is 
their  arrogant  and  uneasy  egotism.  In  the  verse  the  poet  expressly  claims, 
"  I  am  virile,  strong,  original ;  this  Tennyson  whom  you  critics  put  above  me 
is  effeminate,  tawdry,  and  a  plagiarist."  In  his  note  you  might  read  between 
the  lines  some  such  affirmation  as  this  :  "Mr.  Knowles  is  not  my  equal,  to  be 
sure  ;  he  has  not  certain  virtues  which  I  possess  ;  nevertheless  he  is  far 
superior  to  Tennyson,  who  has  moved  no  thousands,  etc.,  etc., — all  of  which  I 
have  done." 

Both  in  his  praise  and  in  his  blame  you  feel  instinctively  that  Bulwer  is 
measuring  everybody  by  his  own  standard,  and  awkwardly  striving  to  conceal 
his  anger  that  the  critics  do  not  see  how  far  the  others  fall  below  it. 
Fujick,  which  had  always  befriended  Tennyson,  came  to  the  rescue  of  its 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  799 

friend.     In  the  number  for  February  7,  1846,  appeared  the  following  verses, — 
rather  lame,  indeed,  but  well  intended : 

The  "New  Timon"  and  Alfred  Tennyson's  Pension. 

You've  seen  a  burly  mastiff's  port, 
Bearing  in  calm,  contemptuous  sort 
The  snarls  of  some  o'erpetted  pup 
Who  grudges  him  his  "  bit  and  sup  :" 

So  stands  the  bard  of  Locksley  Hall, 
While  puny  darts  around  him  fall, 
Tipp'd  with  what  Timon  takes  for  venom ; 
He  is  the  mastiff,  Tim  the  Blenheim. 

"  School-miss  Alfred"  then  took  up  the  cudgels  for  himself  in  very  mascu- 
line fashion.  The  number  of  Punch  for  February  28,  1846,  came  out  with 
some  lines  entitled  "  The  New  Timon  and  the  Poets."  They  were  signed 
"  Alcibiades,"  but  were  universally  recognized  as  Tennyson's.  They  are  well 
known,  but  we  will  quote  them  in  full  : 

The  "New  Timon"  and  the  Poets. 

We  know  him  out  of  Shakespeare's  art, 

And  those  fine  curses  which  he  spoke ; 
The  old  Timon  with  his  noble  heart. 

That,  strongly  loathing,  greatly  broke. 

So  died  the  Old  :  here  comes  the  New. 

Regard  him  :  a  familiar  face  ; 
I  thought  we  knew  him.     What,  it's  you. 

The  padded  man, — that  wears  the  stays, — 

Who  killed  the  girls  and  thrilled  the  boys 

With  dandy  pathos  when  you  wrote  ! 
A  Lion,  you,  that  made  a  noise. 

And  shook  a  mane  en  papillotes. 

And  once  you  tried  the  Muses  too : 

You  failed,  sir;  therefore  now  you  turn. 
To  fall  on  those  who  are  to  you 

As  Captain  is  to  Subaltern. 

But  men  of  long-enduring  hopes. 

And  careless  what  this  hour  may  bring. 
Can  pardon  little  would-be  Popes 

And  Brummels,  when  they  try  to  sting. 

An  Artist,  sir,  should  rest  in  Art, 

And  waive  a  little  of  his  claim  : 
To  have  the  deep  poetic  heart 

Is  more  than  all  poetic  fame. 

But  you,  sir,  you  are  hard  to  please : 

You  never  look  but  half  content. 
Nor  like  a  gentleman  at  ease. 

With  moral  breadth  of  temperament. 

And  what  with  spites,  and  what  with  fears. 

You  cannot  let  a  body  be  : 
'Tis  always  ringing  in  your  ears, 

"  They  call  this  man  as  good  as  me." 

What  profits  now  to  understand 

The  merits  of  a  spotless  shirt, 
A  dapper  boot,  a  little  hand. 

If  half  the  little  soul  is  dirt? 

You  talk  of  tinsel  !  why,  we  see 

The  old  mark  of  rouge  upon  your  cheeks. 
You  prate  of  Nature  !  you  are  he 

That  spilt  his  life  about  the  cliques. 


8oo  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

A  Timon,  you  ?     Nay,  nay,  for  shame  ! 

It  looks  too  arrogant  a  jest, — 
The  fierce  old  man, — to  take  his  name, 

Vou  bandbox  !     Off,  and  let  him  rest ! 

It  is  evident  that  "  Alcibiades"  had  penetrated  the  anonymous  authorship 
of  the  "  New  Tiiuon."  Indeed,  the  secret  was  an  open  one  from  the  first. 
Though  the  poem  has  few  of  the  virtues  of  Bulwer's  prose,  it  has  all  its 
vices,  and  the  critics  at  once  laid  the  foundling  at  his  door. 

A  week  later  (March  7)  "  Alcibiades"  followed  his  first  return  shot  with 
another,  which  only  indirectly  alludes  to  the  "  New  Timon"  controversy. 

Literary  Squabbles. 

Ah,  God  •  the  petty  fools  of  rhyme 

That  shriek  and  sweat  in  pygmy  wars 
Before  the  stony  face  of  Time, 

And  looked  at  by  the  silent  stars; — 

That  hate  each  other  for  a  song. 

And  do  their  little  best  to  bite ; 
That  pinch  their  brothers  in  the  throng. 

And  scratch  the  very  dead  for  spite ; — 

And  strive  to  make  an  inch  of  room 

For  their  sweet  selves,  and  cannot  hear 
The  sullen  Lethe  rolling  doom 

On  them  and  theirs,  and  all  things  here  ; — 

When  one  small  touch  of  Charity 

Could  lift  them  nearer  Godlike  state 
Than  if  the  crowded  Orb  should  cry 

Like  those  that  cried  Diana  great. 

And  I  too  talk,  and  lose  the  touch 

1  talk  of.     Surely,  after  all. 
The  noblest  answer  unto  such 

Is  kindly  silence  when  they  bawl. 

Tennyson  has  never  publicly  acknowledged  these  "Alcibiades"  poems. 
He  included  them  in  no  edition  of  his  works.  Nevertheless,  their  authorship 
is  undeniable  and  undenied.  They  served  their  purpose.  The  victim  was 
demolished.  The  public  was  with  Tennyson.  In  the  third  edition  of  the 
"New  Timon"  the  obnoxious  lines  and  the  note  were  withdrawn.  Bulwer 
made  no  answer  to  "  Alcibiades."  But  to  Tennyson  he  seems  to  have  written  a 
private  letter,  whose  contents  we  can  only  guess  at  from  the  following  poem 
by  Tennyson,  written  apparently  in  December,  1846  : 

On  a  Spiteful  Letter. 

Here,  it  is  here, — the  close  of  the  year, 

And  with  it  a  spiteful  letter. 
My  fame  in  song  has  done  him  much  wrong. 

For  himself  has  done  much  better. 

0  foolish  bard  !  is  j-our  lot  so  hard 
If  men  neglect  your  pages? 

1  think  not  much  of  yours  or  of  mine; 
I  hear  the  roll  of  the  ages. 

This  fallen  leaf,  isn't  fame  as  brief? 

My  rhymes  may  have  been  the  stronger. 
Yet  hate  me  not,  but  abide  your  lot ; 

I  last  but  a  moment  longer. 

O  faded  leaf,  isn't  fame  as  brief? 

What  room  is  here  for  a  hater? 
Yet  the  yellow  leaf  hates  the  greener  leaf. 

For  it  hangs  one  moment  later. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  80 1 

Greater  than  I,— isn't  that  your  cry? — 

And  I  shall  live  to  see  it. 
Well,  if  it  be  so,  so  it  is,  you  know ; 

And  if  it  be  so,  so  be  it. 

O  summar  leaf,  isn't  life  as  brief? 

But  this  is  the  time  of  hollies. 
And  my  heart,  my  heart  is  an  evergreen. 

I  hate  the  spites  and  follies. 

It  is  pleasant  to  note  in  conclusion  that  the  feud,  so  bitter  and  rancorous 
while  it  lasted,  was  healed  long  before  the  death  of  Bulwer. 

Indeed,  the  poet-romancer  might  have  paraphrased  an  old  saying  attributed 
to  many  famous  men,  by  asserting  that  Lord  Lytton  did  not  remember  the 
enmities  of  Bulwer. 

By  the  time  he  had  become  Lord  Lytton  he  was  a  wealthy  man,  a  man  of 
fashion,  of  political  and  titular  eminence, — a  sort  of  golden  link  between 
literature  and  the  aristocracy. 

He  honestly  strove  to  gain  the  good  will  of  his  literary  fellow-laborers,  even 
those  who  had  formerly  abused  him.  With  such  adjuncts,  it  was  not  difficult 
to  succeed.  Thackeray  apologized  for  Yellowplush  and  Bulwig.  The  critics 
were  gained  over.  A  mutual  admiration  sprang  up  between  the  Laureate  and 
the  Lord,  and  in  a  speech  made  at  Hertford,  October  9,  1862,  Lord  Lytton 
made  an  amende  honorable  for  his  ill-considered  verses  when  he  said  publicly, 
"  We  must  comfort  ourselves  with  the  thought  so  exquisitely  expressed  by 
our  Poet-Laureate,  that  the  Prince  we  lament  is  still 
The  silent  father  of  our  kings  to  be." 

New  "World,  America,  the  Western  Hemisphere.  There  is  a  tradition 
that  Ferdinand  and  Isabella,  at  some  date  unspecified,  granted  to  Columbus 
as  a  legend  for  his  coat  of  arms  the  motto 

A  CastiUa  y  a  Leon 

Nuevo  mundo  dio  Colon. 

("  To  Castile  and  Leon 

Columbus  gave  a  new  world.") 

It  is  added  that  when  the  discoverer's  bones  were  removed  to  Seville,  the 
motto,  by  Ferdinand's  orders,  was  placed  on  his  tomb.  There  is  no  historical 
foundation  for  this  story.  It  is  first  mentioned  by  Oviedo  in  1535,  who  gives 
the  motto  a  somewhat  different  turn  : 

For  CastiUa  y  por  Leon 

Nuevo  mundo  hallo  Lolon. 

But  the  other  form  was  preferred  by  Ferdinand  Columbus,  who  about  1535, 
or  earlier,  had  adopted  it  on  his  arms,  and  on  whose  tomb  in  the  cathedral 
at  Seville  it  may  still  be  read.  Evidently  legend  transferred  to  the  father  the 
motto  adopted,  if  not  invented,  by  the  son.  The  phrase  "  New  World"  as 
applied  to  the  recent  discoveries  was  unknown  to  Columbus  and  his  contem- 
poraries. The  true  significance  of  these  discoveries  had  not  yet  dawned  upon 
voyager  or  writer.  Columbus  died  in  the  belief  that  he  had  found  a  new 
route  to  the  Indies  by  sailing  west.  Nobody  was  looking  for  a  new  world, 
and  when  it  at  last  came  to  be  realized  that  America  was  not  Asia  it  was 
looked  upon  merely  as  a  barrier  in  the  way  to  Asia.  The  main  object  of  the 
explorers  who  entered  its  navigable  streams  was  to  ascertain  if  these  might 
not  prove  to  be  arms  of  the  sea  separating  the  mass  of  land  in  two,  and  so 
leading  to  the  longed-for  haven.  The  phrase  New  World  was  first  used  by 
Amerigo  Vespucci  in  a  letter  to  Lorenzo  de'  Medici,  written  from  Lisbon  in 
March  or  April,  1503.  "It  is  proper  to  call  them  a  new  world,"  he  says, 
referring  to  the  tract  of  Bra^iliaa  sea-coast,  south  of  the  equator,  which  he 


J^  CALIFORH^ 


8o2  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

had  discovered  on  his  third  voyage.  In  1504  a  Latin  version  of  the  letter 
was  published  under  the  title  "  Mundus  Novus,"  Its  daring  assertion  of  the 
existence  of  a  populous  land  beyond  the  equator  and  unknown  to  the 
ancients  (whose  omniscience  had  not  yet  been  questioned)  excited  great 
curiosity.  The  pamphlet  was  a  great  success.  It  familiarized  Europe  with 
the  title  New  World  as  applied  to  a  great  continent  detached  from  Asia. 
Not  yet,  however,  was  any  connection  fancied  between  the  discoveries  of 
Columbus  and  those  of  Vespucci.  In  1507,  Martin  Waldseemiiller  pub- 
lished a  little  treatise  in  which  the  suggestion  was  made  that  the  Quarta 
Pars,  or  New  and  Fourth  Part  of  the  earth's  surface,  discovered  by  Ameri- 
cus  Vespucius,  should  be  called  America.  The  suggestion  was  accepted 
without  a  word  of  protest,  even  from  Ferdinand  Columbus,  the  devoted 
son  of  the  great  navigator,  himself  an  accomplished  geographer.  That 
he  owned  a  copy  of  the  book  of  Waldseemiiller's,  that  he  had  it  for 
eighteen  years  in  his  possession,  and  that  he  annotated  it  with  fulness  and 
care,  these  are  known  facts.  Nevertheless,  Ferdinand  Columbus  made  no 
conmient  upon  the  passage  in  which  the  discovery  of  a  new  world  is  attrib- 
uted to  Vespucius.  This  silence  is  absolutely  decisive.  It  proves  that 
Ferdinand  Columbus  shared  Waldseemiiller's  opinion  that  the  Fourth  Part 
meant  something  very  different  from  what  we  mean  when  we  speak  of  Amer, 
ica,  and  that  whereas  Christopher  Columbus  had  discovered  the  eastern  coast 
of  Asia,  or,  in  other  words,  a  section  of  the  Old  World,  it  was  to  Vespucius 
that  the  discovery  of  a  New  World  south  of  the  equator  belonged.  By  the 
time  geographers  had  comprehended  that  Brazil  pertained  to  the  same  con- 
tinent revealed  by  Columbus  and  Cabot,  the  terms  Quarta  Pars,  New  World, 
and  America  had  become  interchangeable  and  synonymous  ;  and  thus,  not 
for  the  first  time  in  history, — the  extension  of  the  term  Africa  is  another- 
example, — the  part  gave  a  name  to  the  whole.  See  Fiske's  "  Discovery  of 
America,"  chap,  vii.,  "  Mundus  Novus." 

Newcastle,  To  carry  coals  to,  a  proverbial  expression  for  unnecessary 
gifts  or  supererogatory  favors,  Newcastle  being  the  greatest  coal-mart  in  the 
world.  The  trade  in  coal  seems  to  have  been  important  from  the  beginning  of 
the  town.  In  1239  the  burgesses  received  from  Henry  III.  a  license  to  dig  coals 
within  the  borough,  and  by  the  reign  of  Edward  I.  the  business  had  increased 
so  rapidly  that  Newcastle  paid  an  annual  revenue  of  two  hundred  pounds.  In 
1615  the  trade  employed  four  hundred  ships,  and  extended  to  France  and 
the  Netherlands.     Analogous  expressions  abound  in  every  language, — viz.  - 

To  send  owls  to  Athens,  box  to  Cyprus,  a  clod  to  the  ploughed  field;  to  add  a  farthing  to 
the  millions  of  Croesus. — Greek. 

To  give  fruit  to  Alcinous  (whose  orchards  were  famous  for  bearing  fruit  all  the  year  round;  ; 
to  take  wood  to  the  forest. — Latin. 

To  carry  oil  to  the  City  of  Olives. — Hebrew. 

To  carry  pepper  to  Hindostan. — Persian. 

To  carry  water  to  the  sea.— G<'r;«a«. 

To  carry  leaves  to  the  forest ;  to  carry  water  to  the  river. — French. 

To  carry  wood  to  the  mountains  ;  to  offer  honey  to  the  owner  of  beehives. — Spanish. 

A  familiar  proverb  in  the  Middle  Ages  was,  To  send  indulgences  to  Rome. 
Johannes  Garlandius,  a  poet  of  the  eleventh  century,  begins  his  "Opus 
Synonymorum"  with  a  list  of  similar  proverbial  sayings : 

Ad  mare  ne  videar  latices  deferre,  camino 
Igniculum,  densis  et  frondes  addere  sylvis, 
Hospitibusque  pyra  Calabris,  dare  nina  Leaco, 
Aut  Cereri  fruges,  apibus  mei,  vel  thyma  pratis, 
Porno  vel  Alcmoo  vel  mollia  thura  Sabseo^ 
Ad  veterum  curas  euro  superaddere  nostras. 

Burton  says,  "To  enlarge  or  illustrate  the  power  and  effect  of  love  is  to  set 
a  candle  in  the  sun."     {Anatomy  of  Melancholy,  Sec.  2,  Memb.  i,  Subsec.  2.) 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  803 

But  the  most  noteworthy  example  in  poetry  of  similar  metaphors  occurs  in 
Shakespeare,  in  the  familiar  lines, — 

To  guard  a  title  that  was  rich  before. 

To  gild  refined  gold,  to  paint  the  lily. 

To  throw  a  perfume  on  the  violet, 

To  smooth  the  ice,  or  add  another  hue 

Unto  the  rainbow,  or  with  taper  light 

To  seek  the  beauteous  eye  of  heaven  to  garnish. 

Is  wasteful  and  ridiculous  excess. 

King  John,  Act  iv..  So.  2. 

Ne'wcome.  Johnny,  a  nickname  particularly  applied  to  a  young,  un- 
practised officer  in  the  British  army,  and  more  generally  to  any  raw,  in- 
experienced youth. 

"  A'  comes  o'  taking  folk  on  the  right  side,  I  trow,"  quoth  Caleb  to  himself,  "and  I  had 
ance  the  ill  hap  to  say  he  was  but  a  Johnny  Newcome  in  our  town,  and  the  carle  bore  the 
family  an  ill  will  ever  since." — Sir  Walter  Scott. 

Ne'wrland,  Abraham.  A  Bank-of-England  note  used  to  be  called  an 
"  Abraham  Newland,"  from  the  name  of  the  cashier,  fifty  or  sixty  years  ago, 
to  whose  order  the  notes  of  the  bank  were  made  payable.  The  notes  are 
celebrated  thus  in  the  words  of  a  song  of  the  period : 

For  fashion  and  arts,  should  you  seek  foreign  parts. 

It  matters  not  wherever  you  land, 
Hebrew,  Latin,  or  Greek,  the  same  language  they  speak. 
The  language  of  Abraham  Newland. 

Chorus. 
Oh,  Abraham  Newland  !  notified  Abraham  Newland! 
With  compliments  crammed,  you  may  die  and  be  damned. 
If  you  haven't  an  Abraham  Newland. 

News.  It  is  popular  to  say  that  this  word  is  derived  from  the  initial  let- 
ters of  the  four  points  of  the  compass  arranged  in  a  device  in  the  form  of  a 
cross  and  placed  at  the  top  of  some  of  the  earlier  news-sheets  to  indicate 
that  their  contents  were  derived  from  all  quarters.  But  it  is  easy  to  show 
that  this  is  purely  fanciful.  First,  the  earliest  English  newspaper  dates  from 
1662,  and  we  find  the  word  news,  exactly  in  its  modern  sense,  in  Shakespeare, 
who  died  nearly  fifty  years  earlier, — namely,  in  1616.  Thus,  we  have  "How 
now  ?  What  news  V  [Macbeth,  Act  i.,  Sc.  7  ;)  "  But  let  time's  news  be  known  !" 
( Winter's  Tale,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  i  ;)  "  Even  at  that  news  he  dies"  {King  John). 
This  list,  which  might  be  extended  indefinitely  from  Shakespeare  and  other 
old  writers,  would  alone  be  sufficient  to  dispose  of  the  north-east-west-south 
theory  ;  but  a  reference  to  the  equivalent  words  in  the  tongues  to  which 
English  is  most  nearly  allied  will  further  show  its  fallacy.  In  German  the 
initials  of  the  points  of  the  compass  read  in  this  order,  N.  O.  W.  S.,  while 
the  word  for  news  is  neuigkeiten,  obviously  impossible  of  derivation  from 
these  four  letters,  while  it  is  derived  from  the  word  for  new.  Again,  in  French 
the  initials  are  N.  E.  O.  S.,  while  the  word  for  news  is  nouvelles,  which  is  simply 
the  plural  form  of  the  word  for  new. 

The  true  derivation  does  not  seem  difficult  to  trace.  Some  take  it  directly 
from  the  German  das  Neue,  which  is  an  abstract  noun  signifying  "the  new," 
and  equivalent  to  our  news.  The  genitive  is  7ieues,  and  the  phrase  "  Was 
giebt's  neues  V  renders  the  exact  sense  of  our  "  What's  the  news  ?"  More- 
over, the  old  German  spelling  is  new,  genitive  newes.  Yet  this,  plausible  as 
it  looks,  is  not  the  origin  of  the  word.  When  we  find  in  Anglo-Saxon  such 
a  phrase  as  kwcctniiues  ?  ("  what  news  ?")  we  can  be  at  no  loss  to  determine  that 
the  word  is  of  pure  Low  German  or  native  English  origin,  although  the 
French  nouveiles  may  have  influenced  its  use.  The  fact  that  the  word  is 
often  used  in  the  singular  confirms  this.     Thus,  we  have  in  John  Florio's 


8o4  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

"  World  of  Words"  (1597)  "  Novella,  a  tale,  a  newes."   In  "  The  Wits'  Recrea. 
tion,"  published  in  1640,  we  have  the  following  epigram  : 

When  news  doth  come,  if  any  would  discuss 
The  letter  of  the  word,  resolve  it  thus  : 
News  is  conveyed  by  letter,  word,  or  mouth. 
And  comes  to  us  from  north,  east,  west,  and  south. 

The  little  corps  of  the  newspaper  fraternity  were  then  beginning  work  in 
England,  and,  being  tickled  by  the  above  epigram,  had  it  put  at  the  head  of 
their  papers,  as  already  stated. 

Skeat  says  that  newes  is  not  older  than  1500,  and  cites  Berners's  translation 
of  Froissart,  "  Desyrous  to  here  newes,"  and  Surrey's  translation  of  Virgil, 
"  What  news  he  brought."  But  at  least  one  earlier  instance  is  to  be  found  in 
"The  Siege  of  Rhodes,"  translated  by  John  Kay,  and  printed  by  Caxton 
about  1490. 

News,  111.  All  nations  agree  that  "  111  news  travels  fast,"  which  is  the 
English  form  of  the  proverb.  Its  corollary,  "  No  news  is  good  news,"  is 
found  also  in  French  and  Italian.  Here  are  some  foreign  proverbs  of  the 
same  kind : 

Bad  news  always  comes  too  soon. — German. 

Bad  news  has  wings. — French. 

Bad  news  is  the  first  to  come. — Italian. 

Bad  news  is  always  lvue.~SJ>iitiish. 

Good  news  is  rumored,  bad  news  flies. — Spanish  and  Portuguese. 

And  here  is  how  the  sentiment  appears  in  various  forms  in  English  litera- 
ture : 

For  evil  news  rides  post,  while  good  news  baits. 

Milton  :  Samson  Agonistes,  1.  1538. 

Ill  news  is  winged  with  fate,  and  flies  apace. 

Dkyden  :   Threnodia.  Augustalis. 
Ill  news  flies  with  eagles'  wings,  but  leaden  weights  are  wont  to  clog  the  heels  of  gladsome 
tidings.— RoBEKT  Chamberlain  :  Nocturnal  Lucubrations  (1638). 

Ill  news,  madam,  are  swallow-winged,  but  what's  good  walks  on  crutches.— Massinger  : 
Jhe  Picture,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  2. 

Though  it  be  honest,  it  is  never  good 

To  bring  bad  news.     Ill  tidings  tell  themselves. 

Shakespeare. 

Nightmare  is  derived  from  the  Anglo-Saxon  words  neht,  "night,"  and 
mara,  a  "spectre,"  which,  in  Runic  mythology,  placed  itself  on  the  breast  of 
the  sleeping  and  deprived  them  of  the  powers  of  motion  and  utterance.  (Low 
German,  nagt-moor ;  German,  nacht-mahr ;  Dutch,  nacht-merrie.) 

The  mara  was  also  believed  to  be  the  guardian  of  hidden  treasures,  over 
which  it  brooded  as  a  hen  over  eggs,  and  the  place  where  it  sat  was  called  its 
nidus,  or  nest.     Hence  the  term  mare's-nest. 

In  North  German  and  Norwegian  traditions  the  mara  generally  assumes 
the  form  of  a  beautiful  woman.  Like  other  supernatural  beings,  she  can  enter 
through  the  smallest  hole,  and  sets  herself  across  her  victims  to  torment  thern. 
Many  curious  methods  are  given  to  get  rid  of  her.  One  is  to  wrap  a  knife  in 
a  cloth,  and  let  it  turn  three  times  round  the  body  while  repeating  certain 
rhymes.  Another  is  to  turn  one's  shoes  with  the  toes  outward  from  the  bed. 
The  mistletoe  is  also  recommended  as  a  remedy. 

Nightmare  of  Europe,  one  of  the  many  appellatives  of  Najioleon  Bona- 
parte, given  him  by  awed  and  appalled  contemporaries  in  Europe  when,  after 
his  stupendous  military  successes,  he  seemed  to  sit  heavily  on  the  helpless 
continent,  as  a  nightmare  on  the  breast  of  a  troubled  sleeper,  helpless  under 
its  weight. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  805 

Nil  admirari  (L.,  "  to  admire"  or  "  wonder  at  nothing"),  a  phrase  from 
Horace  (Epistles,  I.,  vi.  i).  Dr.  Arnold,  in  a  letter  to  an  old  pupil,  quoted  in 
"Arnold's  Life  and  Correspondence,"  calls  it  "the  devil's  favorite  text,"  and 
the  best  he  could  choose  "to  introduce  his  pupils  into  the  more  esoteric  part 
of  his  doctrine.  ...  I  have  always  looked  upon  a  man  infected  with  the 
disorder  of  anti-romance  as  on  one  who  has  lost  the  finest  part  of  his  nature, 
and  his  best  protection  against  everything  low  and  foolish."  He  adds  that 
such  men  may  well  call  him  mad,  but  he  thinks  their  party  are  not  yet  strong 
enough  to  get  him  fairly  shut  up,  and  until  they  are  "I  shall  take  the  liberty 
of  insisting  that  their  tale  is  the  longest." 

Nimini  pimini,  affected  simplicity  in  young  ladies.  In  Burgoyne's  comedy 
of  "The  Heiress"  (Act  iii..  So.  2),  Lady  Emily  tells  Miss  Alscrip,  "The  way 
to  acquire  the  correct  Paphian  mimp  is  to  stand  before  the  glass  and  pro- 
nounce repeatedly  'nimini  pimini.'  The  lips  cannot  fail  to  take  the  right 
ply."  Dickens  has  borrowed  the  conceit,  where  in  "  Little  Dorrit"  Mrs.  Gen- 
eral tells  Amy  Dorrit,  ''Papa,  potatoes,  poultry,  prunes,  and  pris7?i  are  all  very 
good  words  for  the  lips  :  especially/r//«fj  and  prism.  You  will  find  it  service- 
able, in  the  formation  of  a  demeanor,  if  you  sometimes  say  to  yourself  in  com- 
pany,— on  entering  a  room,  for  instance, — Papa,  potatoes,  poultry,  prunes  and 
prism,  prunes  and  prism.^'' 

Nine  days'  wonder,  an  old  phrase  for  a  short-lived  sensation.  It  may 
be  found  in  Chaucer  : 

Eke  wonder  last  but  nine  deies  newe  in  toun. 

Troilus  and  Creseide,  Book  iv.,  Stanza  80. 
Alternate  readings  give  nyghtes  for  deies,  and  never  for  newe.  The  expres- 
sion undoubtedly  dates  back  to  the  Novendiale  Sacrum  of  the  Romans,  which, 
according  to  Livy,  Book  i.  chap.  310,  took  its  rise  from  the  fact  that  just  after 
the  defeat  of  the  Sabines  a  thick  shower  of  stones  fell  from  heaven  on  the 
Alban  Mount,  and  a  voice  was  heard  recalling  the  Albans  to  the  observance 
of  the  ancient  religious  rites,  which  they  had  discontinued.  "  A  festival  of  nine 
days  was  instituted  publicly  by  the  Romans  also  on  account  of  the  same 
prodigy,  either  in  obedience  to  the  heavenly  voice  sent  from  the  Alban  Mount 
(for  that,  too,  is  stated)  or  by  the  advice  of  the  aruspices  ;  certain  it  is  that  it 
continued  a  solemn  observance  that  whenever  the  same  prodigy  was  announced 
a  festival  for  nine  days  was  observed." 

Nine  of  Diamonds  is  called  the  curse  of  Scotland.  The  expression  goes 
back  at  least  as  far  as  1745,  for  a  caricature  dated  October  21  of  that  year 
represents  the  Young  Chevalier  attempting  to  lead  a  herd  of  bulls,  laden  with 
papal  curses,  etc.,  across  the  Tweed  with  the  nine  of  diamonds  lying  before 
them.  Perhaps  the  most  satisfactory  explanation  is  that  which  refers  it  to 
the  massacre  of  Glencoe.  The  order  for  this  cruel  deed  was  signed  by  the 
Earl  of  Stair,  John  Dalrymple,  Secretary  of  State  to  Scotland,  who  was  instru- 
mental in  bringing  about  the  union  of  England  with  Scotland.  The  coat  of 
arms  of  the  Dalrymple  family  bears  nine  lozenges,  resembling  diamonds,  in 
its  shield,  and  it  appears  to  have  been  with  reference  to  them  that  the  nine  of 
diamonds  was  called  the  curse  of  Scotland.  The  other  reasons  that  have  been 
suggested  for  this  expression  are  : 

That  during  the  reign  of  Mary  a  thief  attempted  to  steal  the  crown  from 
Elizabeth  Castle,  and  succeeded  in  abstracting  nine  valuable  diamonds  there- 
from. To  replace  these  a  heavy  tax  was  laid  upon  the  people,  which  was 
termed  the  curse  of  Scotland. 

That  when  the  game  of  comete  was  introduced  into  the  court  at  Holyrood, 
the  nine  of  diamonds,  being  the  winning  card,  got  this  name  because  of  the 
number  of  courtiers  ruined  by  the  game. 
68 


8o6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

That  in  the  game  of  Pope  Joan  the  nine  of  diamonds  is  the  Pope,  whom 
the  Scotch  Presbyterians  considered  a  curse. 

That  it  is  a  corruption  of  the  phrase  "  Cross  of  Scotland."  The  nine 
"  pips"  on  the  card  were  formerly  printed  in  the  shape  of  a  St  Andrew's 
cross. 

That  the  Duke  of  Cumberland  wrote  his  inhuman  orders  at  Culloden  on  the 
back  of  a  nine  of  diamonds.  (But  the  battle  of  Culloden  was  fought  April  8, 
1746,  nearly  six  months  after  the  date  of  the  caricature  before  mentioned.) 

That  a  Scotch  member  of  Parliament,  part  of  whose  family  arms  were  nine 
lozenges,  voted  for  the  introduction  of  the  malt  tax  into  Scotland. 

Ninth  Beatitude.  Writing  to  Gay  on  October  6,  1727,  Pope  says,  "I 
have  many  years  ago  magnified  in  my  own  mind  and  repeated  to  you  a  ninth 
beatitude,  added  to  the  eight  in  the  Scripture  :  '  Blessed  is  he  who  expects 
nothing;  for  he  shall  never  be  disappointed.'"  (Roscoe's  ed.  of  Pope,  vol.  x. 
p.  184.) 

No  Man's  Land,  a  long  narrow  strip  of  territory  lying  west  of  the  Indian 
Territory,  north  of  Texas,  east  of  New  Mexico,  and  south  of  Kansas,  over 
which,  it  would  seem,  the  jurisdiction  of  neither  of  these  extends,  nor  has  the 
same  been  organized  as  a  territorial  government  by  the  United  States,  al- 
though petitioned  by  its  inhabitants  to  do  so.  It  is  also  known  as  Cimarron. 
Locally,  the  name  is  also  given  to  a  strip  of  territory  on  the  boundary  between 
Pennsylvania  and  Delaware.  According  to  the  official  surveys,  it  seems  to 
belong  to  Pennsylvania,  but  by  habit  and  custom  of  the  people  to  Delaware, 
in  which  latter  State  its  inhabitants  vote,  and  where  the  title-deeds  to  its  real 
estate  are  recorded. 

There  is  a  little  uninhabited  island  called  No  Man's  Land  near  Martha's 
Vineyard,  off  the  coast  of  Massachusetts.  Another  region  sometimes  called 
by  this  name  lies  in  British  South  Africa.  Being  dispeopled,  it  was  in  1852 
in  part  occupied  by  Adam  Kok's  band  of  the  Griquas,  and  hence  it  is  often 
called  Griqualand  East,  which  is  at  a  long  distance  from  Griqualand  West, 
the  original  home  of  the  tribe.  These  Griquas  (in  their  own  speech  this  name 
is  the  plural  form  of  Grip)  are  of  mixed  Dutch  and  Hottentot  stock,  and  speak 
a  dialect  compounded  of  very  mixed  elements.  The  Basutos  (of  Bechuana- 
Kaffir  stock)  and  the  Ama-Baca  (Kaffirs)  also  dwell  in  what  was  once  called 
No  Man's  Land  ;  but  the  country  now  contains  many  settlers  of  European  race. 

Nobility,  Our  old.  This  once  famous  phrase  occurred  in  the  following 
passage  from  "  England's  Trust,  and  other  Poems"  (1841),  by  Lord  John 
Manners,  afterwards  Duke  of  Rutland : 

No,  by  the  names  inscribed  in  History's  page, 
Names  that  are  England's  noblest  heritage, 
Names  that  shall  live  for  yet  unnumbered  years 
Shrined  in  our  hearts  with  Cressy  and  Poictiers, 
Let  wealth  and  commerce,  laws  and  learning  die, 
But  leave  us  still  our  old  nobility. 

These  lines,  which  voiced  pretty  fairly  the  ideals  of  the  "  Young  Eng- 
land" enthusiasts,  and  hence  earned  for  the  noble  lord  the  title  of  Young 
England's  Poet,  raised  a  great  storm.  Some  of  the  friends  of  Lord  John 
strove  to  explain  that  nobility  of  character  and  not  of  caste  was  meant ;  but 
the  context  hardly  bore  out  this  explanation.  In  course  of  time  the  author 
grew  properly  ashamed  of  his  production,  and  characterized  it  as  the  foolish 
work  of  his  youth.  He  was,  in  fact,  only  twenty-two  when  the  book  was 
issued.  It  is  curious  to  note  that  the  obnoxious  lines,  written  in  all  serious- 
ness, had  been  very  closely  anticipated  by  a  satirical  writer  just  half  a  century 
previous  : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  807 


Be  aristocracy  the  only  joy  : 

Let  commerce  perish,  let  the  world  expire. 

Modern  Gulliver's  Travels  (1796),  p.  192. 


We  suspect  that  some  of  the  old  nobility  may  have  instinctively  exclaimed  on  reading 
these  lines.  Save  us  from  our  friends  !  The  conflict  of  interests  suggested  by  the  noble  reno- 
vator of  his  country  is  not  only  the  most  alarming,  but  it  is  also  the  least  complimentary  to 
his  class  that  we  remember  to  have  seen  stirred.  It  has  sometimes  been  alleged  that  the 
nobility  and  landed  aristocracy  are  careful  of  the  interests  of  their  order  to  the  injury  of 
wealth  and  commerce.  But  no  demagogue  that  we  have  yet  heard  of  has  feigned  an  oppo- 
sition between  the  aristocracy  and  "  laws  and  learning."  Here,  however,  one  of  themselves 
not  merely  insinuates  the  unfortunate  incompatibility,  but  with  great  vigor  and  sang-froid 
takes  up  his  ground  in  the  controversy  which  he  has  raised.  "  Throw  wealth  and  com- 
merce," says  he,  "to  the  winds!  Perish  laws  and  learning!  But  save  me  and  my  order. 
At  least  so  let  it  be  in  '  Young  England.'  " — North  British  Review,  vol.  i.  p.  146. 

Noblesse  oblige,  a  French  phrase,  used  only  in  the  original,  meaning,  in 
Littre's  definition,  that  "  whoever  calls  himself  noble  should  conduct  himself 
nobly."  According  to  Comte  de  Laborde  in  a  notice  of  the  meeting  of  the 
French  Historical  Society  in  1865,  the  mot  was  suggested  by  the  Due  de 
Levis  in  1808,  apropos  of  the  establishment  of  the  nobility  of  the  Empire,  as 
the  best  maxim  for  both  the  old  regivie  and  the  new.  But  in  substance  the 
thought  had  been  uttered  by  so  ancient  an  author  as  Euripides  : 
The  nobly  born  must  nobly  meet  his  fate. 

Alcmene,  Frag.  too. 

To  feel  itself  raised  on  high,  venerated,  followed,  no  doubt  stimulates  a  fine  nation  to  keep 
itself  worthy  to  be  followed,  venerated,  raised  on  high  :  hence  that  lofty  maxim  Noblesse 
oblige. — Matthew  Arnold. 

Nom  de  guerre,  a  French  term,  meaning,  literally,  a  war-name,  is  used  as 
identical  with  pseudonyme,  or  pen-name,  both  in  English  and  in  French.  The 
"fake"  term  noin  de  phime  is  English,  but  not  French.  A  long  battle  over 
the  phrase  in  the  English  Notes  and  Queries  was  finally  referred  to  the  French 
L" Interviediaire,  a  periodical  of  a  similar  sort,  which  answered,  "  We  do  not 
know  in  our  language  the  expression  nom  de  plume,  and  there  is  no  need  of 
borrowing  it  from  the  English.  We  have  the  phrase  nom  de  guerre,  which  is 
thoroughly  French,  and  which  clearly  enough  indicates  literary  pseudonymity. 
The  very  origin  of  this  phrase  is  thoroughly  French.  Formerly  a  soldier 
in  enlisting  took  a  surname,  which  he  retained  so  long  as  he  served  under 
the  flag.  It  was  a  true  nom  de  giierre.  The  extension  is  natural.  Under 
certain  regimes  of  self-will  {boii  plaisir)  or  terror,  is  not  the  literary  arena  a 
field  of  battle  where  one  fights  for  his  liberty  or  his  life  V 

Non-interference,  Doctrine  of.  The  doctrine  enunciated  by  Calhoun, 
that  Congress  had  no  right  to  interfere  with  the  introduction  of  slavery  in  the 
States  or  Territories,  or,  as  it  was  expressed  in  a  resolution  proposed  to  the 
Democratic  National  Convention  in  1848,  "That  the  doctrine  of  non-inter- 
ference with  the  rights  of  property  of  any  portion  of  the  people  of  this  confed- 
eracy, be  it  in  the  States  or  Territories  thereof,  by  any  other  than  the  parties 
interested  by  them,  is  the  true  republican  doctrine  recognized  by  this  body." 
The  doctrine  was  levelled  against  the  principle  of  the  Missouri  Compromise 
(q.  v.),  and,  although  defeated  in  the  convention  of  1848,  it  was  embodied  later 
in  the  Kansas-Nebraska  Bill. 

Non  mi  ricordo  (It.,  "  I  do  not  remember").  In  the  trial  of  Queen  Caro- 
line, one  of  the  witnesses  was  an  Italian  who  had  been  in  her  service  on  the 
Continent.  When  pressed  by  awkward  questions,  his  answer  was,  "  Non 
mi  ricordo."  The  phrase  has  come  to  designate  a  conveniently  forgetful 
memory.  Under  similar  circumstances  the  answer  of  the  Know-Nothings 
{q.  V.)  was  always  "  I  don't  know." 


8o8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

One  of  the  Tuckers,  or  possibly  one  of  the  Watsons,  had  Nolan  in  charge  at  the  end  of  the 
■war ;  and  when  on  returning  from  his  cruise  he  reported  at  Washington  to  one  of  the  Crown- 
inshields  —who  was  in  the  Navy  IJepartment  when  he  came  home,— he  found  that  the  De- 
partment'ignored  the  whole  business.  Whether  they  really  knew  nothing  about  it,  orw-hether 
it  was  a  non  mi  ricordo,  determined  on  as  a  piece  of  policy,  1  do  not  know. — E.  E.  Hale  : 
The  Man  without  a  Country. 

Nonsense.     A  well-known  couplet  of  uncertain  date  and  paternity  asserts 

that 

A  little  nonsense  now  and  then 
Is  relished  by  the  wisest  men. 

It  seems  to  have  been  known  to  Horace  Walpole,  who,  in  a  letter  to  Horace 
Mann  (1774),  gives  a  side  glance  at  it:  "A  careless  song,  with  a  little  non- 
sense in  it  now  and  then,  does  not  misbecome  a  monarch."  "  Don't  tell 
me,"  William  Pitt  said,  "of  a  man's  being  able  to  talk  sense ;  every  one  can 
talk  sense.  Can  he  talk  nonsense?"  William  Wirt  tells  a  friend  in  a  let- 
ter, "  I  have  always  found  a  little  nonsense  a  capital  preparation  for  a  dry 
and  close  argument."  And  it  has  been  said  of  Charles  James  Napier,  the 
hero  of  Scinde,  that  he  found  in  humor  a  constant  antidote  to  all  the  ills  and 
vexations  of  life.  If  he  was  wounded,  his  spleen  discharged  itself  in  a  jest ; 
if  he  was  hurt  or  annoyed,  the  spirit  of  mockery  burst  into  an  uproar  of  mer- 
riment. "  Nonsen.se  will  come,"  he  once  wrote  to  his  mother,  "  and  devil 
take  me  if  I  can  stop  for  the  life  of  me.  .  .  .  What  a  great  relief  is  nonsense  to 
a  man  who  has  been  workini^  hard!  I  have  a  quantum  in  me  beyond  the  ordi- 
nary run  of  men  ;  and  if  it  had  no  vent,  my  death  would  ensue  from  undeliv- 
ered jokes.  I  am  delighted  to  hear  that  you  are  so  well,  dearest  mother,  and 
that  you  bore  the  comet  like  an  angel.  By  the  way,  no  doubt  exists  in  my 
mind  that  comets  are  the  souls  of  good  post-horses,  who  still  ply  their  trade, 
carrying  angels  charged  with  despatches." 

Nonsense  verse  and  prose.  As  a  literary  form,  manufactured  or  in- 
tentional nonsense  is  a  comparatively  recent  art  in  English.  The  French  in  the 
seventeenth  century  began  the  cultivation  of  a  form  of  verse  which  they  called 
amphigouri,  and  which  in  the  eighteenth  grew  into  extraordinary  popularity. 
An  amphigouri  (a  factitious  word,  probably  made  up  from  the  Greek  d/z^t,  "on 
both  sides"),  was  a  bit  of  rhyme  without  reason, — a  meaningless  rigmarole  in 
verse.  An  effort  has  even  been  made  to  trace  the  origin  of  the  amphigouri  to 
classic  times,  to  the  "  Alexandra"  of  the  Greek  Lycophron.  But,  though  that 
poem  is  undoubtedly  obscure  and  enigmatic,  there  is  no  evidence  to  show 
that  it  is  purposely  meaningless. 

Here  is  a  good  specimen  of  this  form  of  verse  which  D'Israeh  has  copied 
from  Colle's  "  Theatre  de  Societe."  In  the  presence  of  the  famous  Fontenelle 
it  was  recited  at  the  salon  of  Madame  de  Tencin.  So  nearly  does  its  non- 
sense resemble  sense  that  Fontenelle  was  baffled.  "  Let  us  hear  that  over 
again,"  he  said  ;  "  I  don't  think  I  quite  caught  the  meaning."  "  Why,  you 
stupid,"  said  Madame,  "don't  you  see  it  is  mere  nonsense.'"  "Ah,"  was 
Fontenelle's  sarcastic  answer,  "  they  are  so  much  like  the  fine  verses  I  have 
heard  here  that  it's  no  wonder  I  was  mistaken." 

Qu'il  est  heureux  de  se  defendre 

Quand  le  coeur  ne  s'est  pas  rendu  ! 

Mais  qu'il  est  facheux  de  se  rendre 

Quand  le  bonheur  est  suspendu  ! 

Par  un  discours  sans  suite  et  tendre, 

figarez  un  coeur  eperdu  ; 

Souvent  par  un  mal-entendu 

L'amant  adroit  se  fait  entendre. 

Imitated. 

How  happy  to  defend  our  heart, 
When  Love  has  never  thrown  a  dart  1 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  809 

But  ah  !  unhappy  when  it  bends, 
If  Pleasure  her  soft  bliss  suspends  I 
Sweet  in  a  wild  disordered  strain, 
A  lost  and  wandering  heart  to  gain. 
Oft  in  mistaken  language  wooed 
The  skilful  lover's  understood. 

There  is  a  fairly  good  English  amphigouri  which  is  sometimes  attributed 
to  Swift,  but  more  often  and  on  better  authority  to  Pope  : 

Song,  by  a  Person  of  Quality, 

Fluttering  spread  thy  purple  pinions. 

Gentle  Cupid,  o'er  my  heart, 
1  a  slave  in  thy  dominions. 

Nature  must  give  way  to  art. 

Mild  Arcadians,  ever  blooming, 

Nightly  nodding  o'er  your  flocks, 
See  my  weary  days  consuming. 

All  beneath  yon  flowery  rocks. 

Thus  the  Cyprian  goddess  weeping 

Mourned  Adonis,  darling  youth  : 
Him  the  boar,  in  silence  creeping. 

Gored  with  unrelenting  tooth. 

Cynthia,  tune  harmonious  numbers  ; 

Fair  Discretion,  string  the  lyre; 
Soothe  my  ever-waking  slumbers  ; 

Bright  Apollo,  lend  thy  choir. 

Gloomy  Pluto,  king  of  terrors. 

Armed  in  adamantine  chains, 
Lead  me  to  the  crystal  mirrors, 

Watering  soft  Elysian  plains. 

Mournful  cypress,  verdant  willow. 

Gilding  my  Aurelia's  brows, 
Morpheus,  hovering  o'er  my  pillow. 

Hear  me  pay  my  dying  vows. 

Melancholy  smooth  Mseander, 

Swiftly  purling  in  a  round. 
On  thy  margin  lovers  wander. 

With  thy  flowery  chaplets  crowned. 

Thus  when  Philomela,  drooping. 

Softly  seeks  her  silent  mate. 
So  the  bird  of  Juno  stooping. 

Melody  resigns  to  fate. 

Gilbert  Wakefield,  one  of  Pope's  commentators,  actually  misapprehended 
the  nature  of  the  above  composition,  and  complained  at  some  length  that 
the  poem  was  disjointed  and  obscure. 

It  was  not  until  our  own  age,  however,  that  nonsense  literature  was  brought 
to  its  perfection  by  Lewis  Carroll  and  Edmund  Lear,  who  still  hold  their 
ground  against  all  imitators.  It  is  true  that  the  modern  nonsense  verses 
have  some  relationship  to  antecedent  extravaganzas  and  burlesques  ;  it  would 
not  indeed  be  impossible  to  prove  a  collateral  descent  for  the  "  Book  of  Non- 
sense" and  "The  Hunting  of  the  Snark"  through  the  absurdities  of  the 
"Anti-Jacobin,"  through  Henry  Gary's  "Chrononhotonthologos"  all  the  way 
back  to  the  nonsense  drama  in  "  A  Midsummer  Night's  Dream."  But  this 
were  considering  more  curiously  than  befits  a  book  of  the  present  character. 
Taking  them  at  their  apparent  value,  the  verses  of  the  two  whom  we  have 
named  form  a  unique  school  in  English  literature,  as  delightful  as  it  is  unique. 
Is  there  in  the  whole  world  a  better  bit  of  pure  nonsense  than  this  from 
"  Through  the  Looking-Glass"  i* — 

68* 


8lo  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Jabberwocky. 


'Twas  brillig,  and  the  slithy  toves 

Did  gyre  and  gimble  in  the  wabe  ; 
AH  niimsy  were  the  borogoves. 

And  the  mome  raths  outgrabe. 

"  Beware  the  Jabberwock,  my  son  ! 

The  jaws  that  bite,  the  claws  that  catch  I 
Beware  the  Jubjub  bird,  and  shun 

The  frumious  Bandersnatch  !" 

He  took  his  vorpal  sword  in  hand  : 

Long  time  the  manxome  foe  he  sought, — 

So  rested  he  by  the  Tumtum  tree. 
And  stood  awhile  in  thought. 

And  as  in  uffish  thought  he  stood, 

The  Jabberwock,  with  eyes  of  flame, 
Came  whiffling  through  the  tulgey  wood. 

And  burbled  as  it  came  ! 

One,  two  !    One,  two  !    And  through  and  through 

The  vorpal  blade  went  snicker-snack  ! 
He  left  it  dead,  and  with  its  head 

He  went  galumphing  back. 

"  And  hast  thou  slain  the  Jabberwock  ? 

Come  to  my  arms,  my  beamish  boy  ! 
O  frabjous  day  !     Callooh  !     Callay  !" 

He  chortled  in  his  joy. 

'Twas  brillig,  and  the  slithy  toves 

Did  gyre  and  gimble  in  the  wabe  ; 
All  mimsy  were  the  borogoves. 

And  the  mome  raths  outgrabe. 

It  was  in  1846  that  Edmund  Lear  commenced  the  publication  of  those 
famous  little  four-line  nonsense  verses  which  made  his  first  fame.  The  form 
was  not  original  with  him.  Mr.  Lear  himself  in  the  preface  to  his  third  book, 
where  he  laughs  at  "  the  persistently  absurd  report"  that  the  Earl  of  Derby 
was  the  author  of  the  first  "  Book  of  Nonsense,"  is  careful  to  acknowledge 
his  indebtedness  to  certain  nursery  rhymes  beginning  "  There  was  an  old 
man  of  Tobago,"  which  were  suggested  to  him  by  a  valued  friend  as  a 
form  of  verse  lending  itself  to  limitless  variety  for  rhymes  and  pictures. 
Though  these  "  Books  of  Nonsense"  were  first  made  for  children,  grown 
men  and  women,  if  they  have  not  quite  lost  in  worldliness  the  hearts  of 
children,  delight  in  them  no  less  than  these,  and  return  to  them  again  and 
again  with  ever-fresh  pleasure.  In  New  Mexico  not  long  ago  the  English 
owners  of  a  cattle-ranch  had  for  their  trade-mark  the  picture  accompanied  by 
this  famous  posy  : 

There  was  an  Old  Man  who  said,  "  How 

Shall  I  flee  from  this  horrible  Cow? 

I  will  sit  on  this  stile,  and  continue  to  smile. 

Which  may  soften  the  heart  of  that  Cow." 

What  protean  powers  are  exhibited  in  the  variations  on  this  simple  rhyth- 
mical scheme  !  what  humorous  irrelevance,  what  admirable  fooling  ! 

There  was  an  Old  Man  in  a  pew, 
Whose  waistcoat  was  spotted  with  blue  ; 
But  he  tore  it  in  pieces,  to  give  to  his  nieces. 
That  cheerful  Old  Man  in  a  pew. 

There  was  a  Young  Lady  of  Sweden, 

Who  went  by  the  slow  train  to  Weedon  ; 

When  they  cried  "  Weedon  Station  !"  she  made  no  observation. 

But  thought  she  would  go  back  to  Sweden. 


-  LITER AR  Y  CURIOSITIES.  8 1 1 

There  was  a  Young  Lady  of  Lucca, 

Whose  lovers  completely  forsook  her; 

So  she  rushed  up  a  tree,  and  said,  "  Fiddle-de-dee  I" 

Which  embarrassed  the  people  of  Lucca. 

But  why  continue  quoting  ?  These  are  now  a  portion,  and  perhaps  the  best 
portion,  of  the  classics  of  the  nursery.  We  shall  add  only  one  more,  because 
it  has  an  historic  interest  as  having  inspired  Mr.  Gilbert  with  his  famous 
"  Nonsense  Rhyme  in  Blank  Verse."     Here  is  Mr.  Lear  : 

There  was  an  Old  Man  in  a  tree. 

Who  was  terribly  bored  by  a  bee  ; 

When  they  said,  "  Does  it  buzz?"  he  replied,  "  Yes,  it  does  I 

It's  a  regular  brute  of  a  Bee." 

And  here  is  Mr.  Gilbert  : 

There  was  an  Old  Man  of  St.  Bees, 

Who  was  stung  in  the  arm  by  a  wasp  ; 

When  they  asked,  "  Does  it  hurt?"  he  replied,  "  No,  it  doesn't ; 

But  I  thought  all  the  while  'twas  a  Hornet." 

Mr.  Lear's  longer  nonsense  poems, — "  The  Owl  and  the  Pussy-Cat,"  "  The 
Quangle  Wangle  Gee,"  "  The  Jumblies,"  "  The  Yonghy  Bonghy  Bo,"— these 
are  all  excellent.  What  can  be  funnier  than  the  courtship  in  the  "elegant 
pea-green  boat,"  when 

The  Owl  looked  up  to  the  stars  above. 

And  sang  to  a  small  guitar, 

"  O  lovely  Pussy,  O  Pussy  my  love. 

What  a  beautiful  Pussy  you  are. 

You  are  ! 

You  are  ! 

What  a  beautiful  Pussy  you  are  !" 

And  then  the  wedding,  after  they  had  wandered  for  a  year  and  a  day  in  search 
of  a  ring,  and  the  wedding  feast,  when 

They  dined  on  mince,  with  slices  of  quince, 

Which  they  ate  with  a  runcible  spoon. 

And  hand  in  hand,  on  the  edge  of  the  sand. 

They  danced  by  the  light  of  the  moon, 

The  moon  !  . 

The  moon ! 
They  danced  by  the  light  of  the  moon  ! 
Mr.  Lear  was  delighted  when  a  friend  observed  to  him  that  this  couple 
were  reviving  the  old  law  of  Solon  that  the  Athenian  bride  and  bridegroom 
should  eat  a  quince  together  at  their  wedding.     But,  as  Hudibras  says, — 
Rhymes  the  rudders  are  of  verses, 
With  which,  like  ships,  they  steer  their  courses, 
and  it  was  possibly  the  rudder  of  rhyme  which  steered  the  pea-green  boat  into 
that  classical  harbor. 

Admirable,  too,  is  the  humor  of  the  "  Nonsense  Botanies."  The  botanical 
names  are  all  epigrammatic,  the  illustrations  vividly  realize  the  humor  of  the 
text.  The  Barkta  Howlaloudia,  like  a  snap-dragon  of  dogs'  heads,  Artk- 
broomia  Rif^ida,  a  sort  of  thistle,  Nasticreechia  Krorluppia,  like  a  stem  of  cat- 
kins, the  Bassia  Palealeiisis,  the  Shoebootia  Utilis,  and  all  the  rest,  are  not 
mere  grotesque  distortions,  but  natural  representations  of  dogs  and  cater- 
pillars, hearth-brooms,  bottles,  and  boots,  severally  combined  into  such  life-like 
imitations  of  actual  flowers  that  the  botanist  who  would  not  wish  to  be  able 
to  add  them  to  his  herbarium  must  be  as  dry  as  his  own  hortus  siccus. 

In  every  creation  of  Lear's,  whether  of  pen  or  pencil,  some  touch  of  art 
which  escapes  analysis  makes  the  grotesquely  impossible  a  living  flesh-and- 
blood  reality.  Like  Sir  Thomas  Browne,  we  quote  the  Latin  father  and  say, 
*'  Credo  quia  impossibile  est."   Tables  and  chairs  and  fire-irons,  ducks  and  kan- 


8l2  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

garoos,  and  a  host  of  nondescript  creatures,  such  as  the  Quangle  Wangle,  the 
Dong,  and  the  Yonghy  Bonghy  Bo,  are  endowed  with  human  sentiment  and 
moral  life  ;  and  all  their  little  hopes  and  fears  and  frailties  are  so  natural  in 
their  absurdity  that  the  incongruity  of  thoughts  and  images  is  carried  to  the 
utmost  height  of  humor.  Such,  for  instance,  are  those  little  touches  where 
the  friends  of  the  Jumblies  receive  them  back  at  the  end  of  twenty  years, 
saying,— 

If  we  only  live. 

We,  too,  will  go  to  sea  in  a  sieve. 

To  the  hills  of  the  Chankly  Bore  ; 

or  where  the  four  little  children  who  had  gone  out  to  see  the  world  are  wel- 
comed back  "by  their  admiring  relatives  with  joy  tempered  with  contempt  ;" 
or  where  the  coachman,  evidently  an  old  family  servant,  "perceives  with 
pain"  that  the  young  people,  the  poker  and  tongs,  the  shovel  and  broom,  in 
the  carriage  are  quarrelling  while  he  drives  them  out. 

Mr.  W.  S.  Gilbert  is  a  greater  humorist,  perhaps,  than  either  of  the  two  we 
have  mentioned,  and  his  humor,  even  in  his  elaborate  comic  operas,  is  often 
of  a  very  similar  topsy-turvy  order.     But  his  avowed  nonsense  verses  are 
only  a  small  portion  of  his  entire  work.     Here  is  a  good  example  : 
Sing  for  the  garish  eye. 

When  moonless  brandlings  cling  ! 
Let  the  froddering  crooner  cry. 

And  the  braddled  sapster  sing. 
For  never  and  never  again 

Will  the  tottering  beechlings  play. 
For  bratticed  wrackers  are  singing  aloud, 
And  the  throngers  croon  in  May  ! 

Here,  also,  are  three  stanzas  from  C.  S.  Calverley's  "  Ballad  of  the  Period." 
an  excellent  parody  on  some  modern  versifiers,  in  which  the  reductio  ad 
absurdum  is  accomplished  by  turning  their  method  into  nonsense  :  y 

An  auld  wife  sat  at  her  ivied  door 

(Butter  and  eggs  and  a  pound  of  cheese), 
A  thing  she  had  frequently  done  before  ; 

And  her  knitting  reposed  on  her  aproned  knees. 

The  piper  he  piped  on  the  hill-top  high 

(Butter  and  eggs  and  a  pound  of  cheese). 
Till  the  cow  said,  "  I  die,"  and  the  goose  said,  "  Why?" 

And  the  dog  said  nothing,  but  searched  for  fleas. 

******* 
The  farmer's  daughter  hath  soft  brown  hair 

(Butter  and  eggs  and  a  pound  of  cheese) ; 
And  I've  met  a  ballad,  I  can't  tell  where. 

Which  mainly  consisted  of  lines  like  these. 

Occasionally  a  good  bit  of  nonsense  verse  may  be  found  elsewhere  than  in 
the  pages  of  the  masters. 

The  following  "Ballad  of  Bedlam,"  which  appeared  in  Punch,  is  not  with- 
out merit : 

O  lady,  wake  !  the  azure  moon 

Is  rippling  in  the  verdant  skies, 
The  owl  is  warbling  his  sweet  tune, 

Awaiting  but  thy  snowy  eyes. 
The  joys  of  future  years  are  past, 

To-morrow's  hopes  have  fled  away  ; 
Still  let  us  love,  and  e'en  at  last 

We  shall  be  happy  yesterday. 

The  early  beam  of  rosy  night 

Drives  off  the  ebon  moon  afar. 
While  through  the  murmur  of  the  light 

The  huntsman  winds  his  mad  guitar ; 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  813 

Then,  lady,  wake!  my  brigantine 

Pants,  neighs,  and  prances  to  be  free  : 
Till  the  creation  I  am  thine. 

To  some  rich  desert  fly  with  me. 

The  Cincinnati  Coinmercial  Gazette  is  responsible  for  the  following,  which 
it  gives  as  an  effort  of  the  intelligent  compositor  to  grapple  with  the  illegible 
handwriting  of  an  amateur  poet : 

To  Marie. 

When  the  breeze  from  the  bluebottle's  blustering  blim 

Twirls  the  toads  in  a  tooroomaloo, 
And  the  whiskery  whine  of  the  wheedlesome  whim 

Drowns  the  roll  of  the  rattatattoo. 
Then  I  dream  in  the  shade  of  the  shally-go-shee, 

And  the  voice  of  the  ballymolay 
Brings  the  smell  of  the  stale  poppy-cods  blummered  blee 

From  the  willy-wad  over  the  way 
Ah,  the  shuddering  shoe  and  the  blinketty-blanks 

When  the  punglung  falls  from  the  bough 
In  the  blast  of  a  hurricane's  hicketty-hanks 

O'er  the  hills  of  the  hocketty-how  ! 
Give  the  rigamarole  to  the  clangery-wang. 

If  they  care  for  such  fiddlededee  ; 
But  the  thingumbob  kiss  of  the  whangery-bang 

Keeps  the  higgledy-piggle  for  me. 

l'envoi. 
It  is  pilly-po-doddle  and  aligobung 

When  the  lollypup  covers  the  ground. 
Yet  the  poldiddle  perishes  plunkety-pung 

When  the  heart  jimmy-coggles  around. 
If  the  soul  cannot  snoop  at  the  gigglesome  cart 

Seeking  surcease  in  gluggety-glug. 
It  is  useless  to  say  to  the  pulsating  heart, 

"  Yankee-doodle  ker-chuggety-chug  ! 

One  of  Theodore  Hook's  witty  associates,  the  Rev.  Edward  Cannon,  was 
tile  author  of  the  following  bit  of  fooling  : 

Impromptu. 

If  down  his  throat  a  man  should  choose, 

In  fun,  to  jump  or  slide. 
He'd  scrape  his  shoes  against  his  teeth. 

Nor  dirt  his  own  inside. 

Or  if  his  teeth  were  lost  and  gone. 
And  not  a  stump  to  scrape  upon. 
He'd  see  at  once  how  very  pat 
His  tongue  lay  there,  by  way  of  mat. 
And  he  would  wipe  his  feet  on  that  ! 

Mr.  Charles  G.  Leland  thinks  the  following  lines  "  the  finest  and  daintiest 
nonsense"  he  ever  read  : 

Thy  heart  is  like  some  icy  lake. 

On  whose  cold  brink  I  stand  ; 
Oh,  buckle  on  my  spirit's  skate. 
And  lead,  thou  living  saint,  the  way 

To  where  the  ice  is  thin, — 
That  it  may  break  beneath  my  feet 

And  let  a  lover  in  ! 

This,  from  Fim,  is  not  bad  : 

A  Chronicle. 

Once — but  no  matter  when  — 

There  lived — no  matter  where — 
A  man  whose  name — but  then 

1  need  nut  that  declare. 


8l4  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

He — well,  he  had  been  born. 

And  so  he  was  alive ; 
His  age — I  details  scorn — 

Was  somethingty  and  five. 

He  lived — how  many  years 

I  truly  can't  decide  ; 
But  this  one  fact  appears, — 

He  lived— until  he  died. 

"  He  died,"  I  have  averred. 

But  cannot  prove 'twas  so; 
But  that  he  was  interred. 

At  any  rate,  I  know. 

I  fancy  he'd  a  son, 

I  hear  he  had  a  wife  : 
Perhaps  he'd  more  than  one, 

I  know  not,  on  my  life  1 

But  whether  he  was  rich. 

Or  whether  he  was  poor. 
Or  neither— both — or  which, 

I  cannot  say,  I'm  sure. 

I  can't  recall  his  name. 

Or  what  he  used  to  do  ; 
But  then — well,  such  is  fame! 

'Twill  so  serve  me  and  you. 

And  that  is  why  I  thus 

About  this  unknown  man 
Would  fain  create  a  fuss. 

To  rescue,  if  I  can, 

From  dark  oblivion's  blow 

Some  record  of  his  lot ; 
But,  ah  !  I  do  not  know 

Who — where — when — why — or  what. 

MORAL. 
In  this  brief  pedigree 

A  moral  we  should  find  ; 
But  what  it  ought  to  be 

Has  quite  escaped  my  mind  ! 

The  following  curious  verse  is  said  to  have  been  on  a  gravestone  at  one 
time  in  the  church-yard  of  Homersfield,  Suffolk,  over  the  body  of  Robert 
Crytoft,  who  died  November  17,  1810,  and  it  is  very  like  nonsense  : 

Myself. 

As  I  walked  by  myself  I  talked  to  myself. 

And  thus  myself  said  to  me. 
Look  to  thyself  and  take  care  of  thyself. 

For  nobody  cares  for  thee. 
So  I  turned  to  myself,  and  I  answered  myself. 

In  the  self-same  revery, 
Look  to  myself  or  look  not  to  myself, 

The  self-same  thing  will  it  be. 

In  the  way  of  prose  nonsense  nothing  can  be  better  than  this  famous  farrago 
which  Samuel  Foote  wrote  to  test  the  memory  of  one  who  boasted  that  he  could 
learn  anything  by  heart  on  hearing  it  once  :  "  So  she  went  into  the  garden  to 
cut  a  cabbage-leaf  to  make  an  apple-pie  ;  and  at  the  same  time  a  great  she- 
bear  coming  up  the  street  pops  its  head  into  the  shop.  What  !  no  soap .?  So 
he  died,  and  she  very  imprudently  married  the  barber  ;  and  there  were  present 
the  Picninnies  and  the  Joblilies  and  the  Garulilies  and  the  Great  Panjandrum 
himself  with  the  little  round  button  at  top.     And  they  all  fell  to  playing  the 


LITER  A  R  Y  CURIOSITIES.  8 1 5 

game  of  '  catch  as  catch  can'  till  the  gunpowder  ran  out  at  the  heels  of  their 
boots." 

The  prose  works  of  Tom  Hood  and  of  Charles  Lamb,  and  especially  their 
letters,  frequently  revel  in  a  reckless  and  lawless  fun  which  is  not  unlike  the 
humor  ot  Carroll's  and  Lear's  prose. 

For  example,  Hood  inserts  in  one  of  his  "Comic  Annuals"  a  letter  on 
autographs,  in  which  he  classifies  them  as  follows  : 

There  have  been  autographs  written  by  proxy  ;  for  example.  Doctor  Dodd  penned  one  for 
Lord  Chesterfield.  But  to  oblige  a  stranger  in  this  way  is  very  dangerous,  considering  how 
easily  a  few  hnes  may  be  twisted  into  a  rope. 

With  regard  to  my  own  particular  practice,  I  have  often  traced  an  autograph  with  my 
walking-stick  on  the  sea-sand.  I  also  seem  to  remember  writing  one  with  my  forefinger  on  a 
dusty  table,  and  am  pretty  sure  I  could  do  it  with  the  smoke  of  a  candle  on  the  ceiling.  I  have 
seen  something  like  a  badly-scribbled  autograph  made  by  children  with  a  thread  of  treacle  on 
a  slice  of  suet  dumpling.  Then  it  may  be  done  with  vegetables.  My  little  girl  grew  her  auto- 
graph the  other  day  in  mustard  and  cress. 

Domestic  servants,  I  have  observed,  are  fond  of  scrawling  autographs  on  a  tea-tray  with 
the  slopped  milk ;  also  of  scratching  them  on  a  soft  deal  dresser,  the  lead  of  the  sink,  and, 
above  all,  the  quicksilver  side  of  a  looking-glass,— a  surface,  by  the  by,  quite  irresistible  to  any 
one  who  can  write  and  does  not  bite  her  nails. 

A  friend  of  mine  possesses  an  autograph— Remember  Jim  Hosk:ns— done  with  a  red-hot 
poker  on  the  back-kitchen  door.     This,  however,  is  awkward  to  bind  up. 

Gentlemen  in  love  delight  in  carving  their  autographs  on  the  bark  of  trees,  as  other  idle 
fellows  are  apt  to  hack  and  hew  them  on  tavern  benches  and  rustic  seats.  Among  various 
modes,  I  have  seen  a  sfiop-boy  dribble  his  autograph  from  a  tin  of  water  on  a  dry  pavement. 

The' celebrated  Miss  Biffin  used  to  distribute  autographs  among  her  visitors  which  she  wrote 
with  a  pen  grasped  between  her  teeth.  Another,  a  German  phenomenon,  held  the  implement 
with  his  toes.  ,  .      .     , 

When  the  sweetheart  of  Mr.  John  Junk  requested  his  autograph  and  explamed  what  it 
was, — namely,  "  a  couple  of  lines  or  so  with  his  name  to  it," — he  replied  that  he  would  leave 
it  to'her  in  his  will,  seeing  as  how  it  was  done  with  gunpowder  on  his  left  arm. 

Doppeldickius,  the  learned  Dutchman,  wrote  an  autograph  for  a  friend,  which  the  latter 
published  in  a  quarto  volume. 

Charles  Lamb  writes  as  follows  to  his  friend  Manning,  who  contemplates 
becoming  a  missionary  and  converting  savages  : 

My  dear  Manning, — The  general  scope  of  your  letter  afforded  no  indications  of  insanity, 
but  some  particular  points  raised  a  scruple.  For  God's  sake,  don't  think  any  more  of  Inde- 
pendent Tartary.  What  are  you  to  do  among  such  Ethiopians?  Is  there  no  lineal  descend- 
ant of  Prester  John?  Is  the  chair  empty?  Is  the  sword  unswayed?  Depend  upon  it,  they'll 
never  make  you  their  king  as  long  as  any  branch  of  that  great  stock  is  remaining.  I  tremble 
for  your  Christianity  :  they  will  certainly  circumcise  you.  Read  Sir  John  Mandeville's 
Travels  to  cure  you,  or  come  over  to  England.  There  is  a  Tartarman  now  exhibiting  at 
Exeter  'Change.  Come  and  talk  with  him,  and  hear  what  he  says,  first.  Indeed,  he  is  no 
ver>'  favorable  specimen  of  his  countrymen.  But  perhaps  the  best  thing  you  can  do  is  to  try 
to  get  the  idea  out  of  your  head.  For  this  purpose  repeat  to  yourself  every  night,  after  you 
have  said  your  prayers,  the  words  "  Independent  Tartary,  Independent  Tartary,"  two  or  three 
times,  and  associate  with  them  the  idea  of  oblivion  ('tis  Hartley's  method  with  obstinate 
memories),  or  say,  "  Independent,  Independent,  have  I  not  already  got  an  independence?" 
That  was  a  clever  way  of  the  old  Puritans,  pun-divinity.  My  dear  friend,  think  what  a  sad 
pity  it  would  be  to  bury  such  parts  in  heathen  countries,  among  nasty,  unconversable,  horse- 
belching  Tartar  people  !  Some  say  they  are  cannibals;  and  then,  conceive  a  Tartar  fellow 
eating  my  friend,  and  adding  the  cool  malignity  of  mustard  and  vinegar  !  I  am  afraid  'tis  the 
reading  of  Chaucer  has  misled  you  ;  his  foolish  stories  about  Cambuscan,  and  the  ring,  and  the 
horse  of  brass.  Believe  me,  there  are  no  such  things,— 'tis  all  the  poet's  invention  ;  but  if 
there  were  such  darling  things  as  old  Chaucer  sings,  I  would  up  behind  you  on  the  horse  of 
bra^s,  and  frisk  off  for  Prester  John's  country.  But  these  are  all  tales  ;  a  horse  of  brass  never 
flew,  and  a  king's  daughter  never  talked  with  birds  !  The  Tartars  really  are  a  cold,  insipid, 
smouchy  set.  You'll  be  sadly  moped  (if  you  are  not  eaten)  among  them.  Pray  try  and  cure 
yourself.  Take  hellebore  (the  counsel  is  Horace's,  'twas  none  of  my  thought  originally). 
Shave  yourself  oftener.  Eat  no  saffron,  !for  saffron-eaters  contract  a  terrible  Tartar-like 
yellow.  Pray,  to  avoid  the  fiend.  Eat  nothing  that  gives  the  heart-bum.  S/iave  the  tt/-/>er 
Up.  Go  about  like  a  European.  Read  no  books  of  voyages  (they  are  nothing  but  lies),  only 
now  and  then  a  romance,  to  keep  the  fancy  under.  Above  all,  don't  go  to  any  sights  oi  wild 
beasts.  That  has  been  your  ruin.  Accustom  yourself  to  write  familiar  letters  on  common 
subjects  to  your  friends  in  England,  such  as  are  of  a  moderate  understanding.  And  think 
about  common  things  more.     I  supped  last  night  with  Rickman,  and  met  a  merry,  naturai 


8l6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

captain,  who  pleases  himself  vastly  with  having  once  made  a  pun  at  Otaheite,  in  the  O  lan- 
guage 'Tis  the  same  man  who  said,  "  Shakespeare  he  liked,  because  he  ',uas  so  7nuch  of  the 
gentletiian  "  Rickman  is  a  man  absolute  in  all  numbers.  I  thmk  I  may  one  day  brmg  you 
acquainted,  if  you  do  not  go  to  Tartary  first  ;  for  you'll  never  come  back.  Have  a  care,  niy 
dear  friend,  of  anthropophagi:  their  stomachs  are  always  craving!  Tis  terrible  to  be 
weighed  out  at  fivepence  a  pound  ;  to  sit  at  table  (the  reverse  of  fishes  m  Holland),  not  as  a 
guest,  but  as  a  meat.  .  rr  n       •  i. 

God  bless  you  ;  do  come  to  England.  Air  and  exercise  may  do  great  things,  lalk  witb 
some  minister.     Why  not  your  father? 

God  dispose  all  for  the  best.     1  have  discharged  my  duty. 

Your  sincere  friend, 

C.  Lamb. 

On  another  occasion  Lamb  confided  a  pet  dog  to  the  care  of  Mr.  Patmore, 
and  shortly  afterwards  wrote  the  following  letter  of  inquiry  : 

Dear  Patmore,— Excuse  my  anxiety,  but  how  is  Dash?  (I  should  have  asked  if  Mrs. 
Patmore  kept  her  rules  and  was  improving,— but  Dash  came  uppermost.  1  he  order  of  our 
thoughts  should  be  the  order  of  our  writing.)  Goes  he  muzzled,  or  aferto  ore?  Are  his 
intellects  sound,  or  does  he  wander  a  little  in  his  conversation  ?  You  cannot  be  too  careful 
to  watch  the  first  symptoms  of  incoherence.  The  first  illogical  snarl  he  makes,  to  St.  Luke's 
with  him.  All  the  dogs  here  are  going  mad,  if  you  believe  the  overseers ;  but  I  protest  they 
seem  to  me  very  rational  and  collected.  But  nothing  is  so  deceitful  as  mad  people  to  those 
who  are  not  used  to  them.  Try  him  with  hot  water.  If  he  won't  lick  it  up,  it  is  a  sigii  he 
does  not  like  it.  Does  he  wag  his  tail  horizontally,  or  perpendicuUriy  ?  That  has  decided 
the  fate  of  many  dogs  in  Enfield.  Is  his  general  deportment  cheerful?  I  mean,  when  he  is 
pleased  ;  for  otherwise  there  is  no  judging.  You  can't  be  too  careful.  Has  he  bit  any  of  the 
children  yet?  If  he  has,  have  ihem  shot,  and  keep  hiin  for  curiosity,  to  see  if  it  was  the 
hydrophobia.  1  hey  say  all  our  army  in  India  had  it  at  one  time,  but  that  was  in  Hyder- 
Alley's  time.  Do  you  get  paunch  for  him?  Take  care  the  sheep  was  sane.  You  might 
pull  out  his  teeth  (if  he  would  let  you)  and  then  you  need  not  mind  if  he  were  as  mad  as  a 
Bedlamite.  It  would  be  rather  fun  to  see  his  odd  ways.  It  might  amuse  Mrs.  Patmore  and 
the  children.  They'd  have  more  sense  than  he  !  He'd  be  like  a  Fool  kept  in  the  family,  to 
ktep  the  household  in  good  humor  with  their  own  understanding.  You  might  teach  him  the 
mad-d.Hnce  set  to  the  mad-howl.  Madi^e  Owl-et  would  be  nothing  to  him.  "  My,  how  he 
capers  !  "     (One  of  the  children  speaks  this.)  .   .   . 

\Here  three  lines  are  erased^ 

What  I  scratch  out  is  a  German  quotat  on  from  Lessing  on  the  bite  of  rabid  animals ;  but, 
I  remember  you  don't  read  German.  But  Mrs.  Patmore  may,  so  I  wish  I  had  let  it  stand. 
The  meaning  in  English  is,  "  Avoid  to  approach  an  animal  suspected  of  madness,  as  you 
would  avoid  a  fire  or  a  precipice  ;"  which  I  think  is  a  sensible  observation.  Ihe  Germans 
are  certainly  profounder  than  we.  ■  ,   ,  •      ,t^     i_s  i 

If  the  slightest  suspicion  arises  in  your  breast  that  all  is  not  right  with  him  (Dash)  muzzle 
him  and  lead  him  in  a  string  (common  packthread  will  do  ;  he  don't  care  for  twist)  to  Hood  s, 
his  quondam  master,  and  he'll  lake  him  in  at  any  time.  You  may  mention  your  suspicon 
or  not,  as  you  like,  or  as  you  think  it  may  wound  or  not  Mr.  H.  s  feelings.  Hood,  J  know, 
will  wink  at  a  few  follies  in  Dash,  in  consideration  of  his  former  sense.  Besides,  Hood  is 
deaf-  and,  if  you  hinted  anything,  ten  to  one  he  would  not  hear  you.  Besides,  you  will 
have  discharged  your  conscience,  and  laid  the  child  at  the  right  door,  as  they  say. 

The  following  note  by  Thackeray  has  lately  been  published  for  the  first 

time  by  the  Pall  Mall  Gazette: 

•'  Kensington,  W.,  Wednesday. 

Dear  Ned,— You  ask  me  for  a  recipe  for  restoring  your  eyes  to  their  wonted  lustre  and 
brilliancy.  Yen,-  good.  Here  you  are.  Take  them  out  and  wash  well,  first  with  soap  and 
water,  and  afterwards  with  a  solution  of  nitric  acid,  white  sand,  and  blacking.  Let  them  dry 
well,  and  then  replace  them,  fastening  them  in  their  places  wth  gum-water.  One  great 
advantage  of  the  discovery  is  th.it  by  turning  the  pupils  inward,  on  restoring  the  eyes  to 
their  places  again,  a  view  of  the  whole  internal  economy  may  be  obtained,  and  thus  the  pre- 
cept of  the  old  philosopher,  to  "know  thyself,"  be  readily  complied  with.  There!  wnl 
that  suit  you  ?     Eh  ? 

Generously  yours, 

W.  M.  Thackeray. 

Non  sequitur,  a  Latin  phrase  meaning  "It  does  not  follow,"  is  used  as 
an  English  noun  to  indicate  a  wrong  process  of  thought  by  means  of  which 
an  impossible  cause  and  effect  are  grotesquely  linked  together.  The  familiar 
sophism  known  as  the  post  hoc  propter  hoc  fallacy  ("  after  this,  therefore  on 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  817 

account  of  this")  is  a  familiar  instance.  Thus,  the  Free-traders  ridicule  the 
Protectionist  claim  that  American  manufactures  have  increased  under  high 
tariff  legislation,  and  therefore  that  such  legislation  favors  manufactures,  by 
the  proposition  that  divorces  have  increased  under  high  tariff  legislation,  and 
therefore  that  such  legislation  is  responsible  for  divorces.  Another  illustration 
of  a  non  seqiiitiir  is  that  known  proverbially  as  putting  the  cart  before  the 
horse,  or  taking  the  effect  for  tlie  cause.  An  excellent  illustration  is  afforded 
by  the  Carmelite  friar  who  praised  the  divine  goodness  and  wisdom  which 
cause  navigable  rivers  to  flow  by  large  towns,  and  by  Voltaire's  dictum  (abso- 
lutely Voltaire's)  in  "L'Histoire  de  Jenni,"  ch.  ix.,  where,  writing  of  Mount 
Hecla,  he  rambles  on,  "Car  tous  les  grands  volcans  sont  places  sur  ces 
montagnes  hideuses." 

If  we  inquired  too  curiously,  however,  many  of  our  finest  metaphors  would 
resolve  themselves  into  precisely  this  sort  of  blunder.  Thus,  Sterne's  exqui- 
site phrase,  "  God  tempers  the  wind  to  the  shorn  lamb,"  teaches  a  great  truth, 
but  loses  sight  of  the  fact  that  the  wind  is  not  tempered  because  the  lamb  is 
shorn,  but  that  the  lamb  (or,  more  accurately,  the  sheep)  is  shorn  at  a  period 
chosen  because  then  the  wind  is  temjiered. 

The  current  jest-books  are  full  of  stories  wherein  the  point  lies  in  this  con- 
fusion of  logical  sequences.  Horace  Smith,  in  his  "  Tin  Trumpet,"  has  two 
familiar  yet  excellent  examples,  that  of  the  Birmingham  boy  who,  being  asked 
whether  some  shillings  which  he  tendered  at  a  shop  were  good,  answered 
with  great  simplicity,  "  Ay,  that  they  be,  for  I  seed  father  make  'em  all  thris 
morning,"  and  of  the  witness  who  was  about  to  be  sworn  :  "  Young  woman," 
said  the  magistrate,  "  why  do  you  hold  the  book  upside  down  ?"  "  I  am 
obliged,  sir,  because  I  am  left-handed." 

The  "equivocal  answer"  in  the  following  story  had  a  startling  lack  of  con- 
nection with  the  question  propounded  : 

A  literary  gentleman,  wishing  to  be  undisturbed  one  day,  instructed  his 
Irish  servant  to  admit  no  one,  and  if  any  one  should  inquire  for  him,  to  give 
him  an  equivocal  answer.  Night  came,  and  the  gentleman  proceeded  to  in- 
terrogate Pat  as  to  his  visitors  : 

"  Did  any  one  call  V 

"  Yes,  sir  ;  wan  gintleman." 

"  What  did  he  say?" 

"  He  axed  was  yer  honor  in." 

"  Well,  what  did  you  tell  him  ?" 

"Sure,  I  gave  him  a  quivikle  answer,  jist." 

"  How  was  that .''" 

"  I  axed  him  was  his  grandmother  a  monkey." 

It  is  a  common  trick  also  of  the  most  famous  humorists.  Dickens  em- 
ploys it  with  excellent  effect.  In  "  Nicholas  Nickleby"  the  letter  written  by 
Fanny  Squeers  to  Ralph  Nickleby  is  admirable:  "  My  pa  requests  me  to 
write  to  you,  the  doctors  considering  it  doubtful  whether  he  will  ever  recover 
the  use  of  his  legs,  which  prevents  his  holding  a  pen,"  etc.  But  this  is  no 
better  than  the  dream  he  relates  in  one  of  his  letters  to  James  T.  Fields  : 

1  dreamed  that  somebody  was  dead.  It  was  a  private  gentleman,  and  a  particular  friend ; 
and  1  was  greatly  overcome  when  the  news  was  broken  to  me  (very  delicately)  by  a  gentle- 
man in  a  cocked  hat,  top-boots,  and  a  sheet.  Nothing  else.  "  Good  God  !"  I  said,  "  is  he 
dead?"  "  He  is  as  dead,  sir,"  rejoined  the  gentlem.in,  "as  a  door  nail.  But  we  must  all 
die,  Mr.  Dickens,  sooner  or  later,  my  dear  sir."  "  Ah  !"  I  said  ;  "  yes,  to  be  sure.  Very 
true.  But  what  did  he  die  of?"  The  gentleman  burst  into  a  flood  of  tears,  and  said,  in  a 
voice  broken  by  emotion,  "  He  christened  his  youngest  child,  sir,  with  a  toasting-fork  \" 


Lewis  Carroll's  books  are  perhaps  the  best  examples  in  the  language  of  this 
topsy-turvy  sort  of  fun.     In  the  books  which  relate  Alice's  adventures  all  the 
bbb  69 


8l8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

characters  think,  speak,  and  act  with  the  most  delightful  irrelevance ;  and  "The 
Hunting  of  the  Snark"  is  a  marvel  of  inconsequential  humor  : 
They  sought  it  with  thimbles,  they  sought  it  with  care; 

They  pursued  it  with  forks  and  hope  ; 
They  threatened  its  life  with  a  railway  share; 
They  charmed  it  with  smiles  and  soap. 

Admirable  was  the  ocean-chart  which  the  Bellman  brought  with  him  to 
facilitate  the  hunt : 

He  had  bought  a  large  map  representing  the  sea, 

Without  the  least  vestige  of  land  ; 
And  the  crew  were  much  pleased  when  they  found  it  to  be 

A  map  they  could  all  understand. 

"  What's  the  good  of  Mercator's  North  Poles  and  Equators, 

Tropics,  Zones,  and  Meridian  Lines?" 
So  the  Bellman  would  cry  ;  and  the  crew  would  reply, 

"  They  are  merely  conventional  signs  ! 

"  Other  maps  are  such  shapes,  with  their  islands  and  capes. 

But  we've  got  our  brave  captain  to  thank" 
(So  the  crew  would  protest)  "  that  he's  bought  us  the  best,— 

A  perfect  and  absolute  blank." 

This  was  charming,  no  doubt ;  but  they  shortly  foiud  out 

That  the  captain  they  trusted  so  well 
Had  only  one  notion  for  crossing  the  ocean. 

And  that  was  to  tingle  his  bell. 

He  was  thoughtful  and  grave,  but  the  orders  he  gave 

Were  enough  to  bewilder  a  crew. 
When  he  cried,  "  Steer  to  starboard,  but  keep  her  head  larboard!" 

What  on  earth  was  the  helmsman  to  do? 

Then  the  bowsprit  got  mixed  with  the  rudder  sometimes, — 

A  thing,  as  the  Bellman  remarked, 
That  frequently  happens  in  tropical  climes,  m 

When  a  vessel  is,  so  to  speak,  "  snarked."  J 

But  the  principal  failing  occurred  in  the  sailing,  ^k 

And  the  Bellman,  perplexed  and  distressed,  " 

Said  he  had  hoped,  at  least,  when  the  wind  blew  due  East, 
That  the  ship  would  not  travel  due  West ! 

Admirable,  too,  is  the  butcher's  mathematical  demonstration  of  the  prob- 
lem whether  two  and  one  make  three  : 

Taking  Three  as  the  subject  to  reason  about, — 

A  convenient  number  to  state, — 
We  add  Seven  and  Ten,  and  then  multiply  out 

By  One  Thousand  diminished  by  Eight. 

The  result  we  proceed  to  divide,  as  you  see. 

By  Nine  Hundred  and  Ninety  and  Two  ; 
Then  subtract  Seventeen,  and  the  answer  must  be 

Exactly  and  perfectly  true. 

Here  are  two  good  examples  from  Artemus  Ward's  "  Lecture  :" 

1  met  a  man  in  Oregon  who  hadn't  any  teeth,— not  a  tooth  in  his  head,— yet  that  man  could 
play  on  the  bass  drum  better  than  any  man  I  ever  met. 


I  never  on  any  account  allow  my  business  to  interfere  with  my  drinking. 
The  wit  of  the  two  following  stories  lies  in  the  incongruity  of  the  explana- 
tions suggested,— the  utter  failure  of  sequence  between  question  and  answer  : 

,.  x^""!".^  °"^  i^y\riZ  to  Sir  F.  Gould,  "  I  am  told  you  eat  three  eggs  everyday  at  breakfast;' 

JNo,     answered  Gould,  "  on  the  contrary."     Some  of  those  present  asked,  "  What  was  the 

Moore'- °Dz^^r'"^  ^  ^^^  eggs?"     "  Laying  three  eggs,  I  suppose,"  said  Luttrell.— Thomas 

•     ^'■'t^A  ^°^  Thackeray,  walking  together,  stopped  opposite  a  door-way,  over  which  were 
jnscnbed  in  gold  letters  these  words :  "  Mutual  Loan  Office."    They  both  seemed  equally 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  819 

puzzled.  "What  on  earth  can  that  mean?"  asked  Hicks.  "I  don't  know,"  answered 
Thackeray,  "  unless  it  means  that  two  men  who  have  nothing  agree  to  lend  it  to  one  an- 
other."— J.  C.  Young:  Diary. 

The  same  effect  is  often  gained  by  wilfully  ignoring  the  sense  of  a  propo- 
sition and  attributing  an  absurd  logical  confusion  to  the  propounder  of  it. 
Thus,  Mark  Twain  tells  us  "  that  Benjamin  Franklin  was  always  proud  of 
telling  how  he  entered  Philadelphia,  for  the  first  time,  with  nothing  in  the 
world  but  two  shillings  in  his  pocket  and  four  rolls  of  bread  under  his  arm. 
But  really,  when  you  come  to  examine  it  critically,  it  was  nothing.  Anybody 
could  have  done  it."  And  again,  he  calls  our  attention  to  the  fact  that  he  is 
a  greater  and  better  man  than  Washington,  for  while  the  latter  could  not  tell 
a  lie,  "  I  can,  but  I  won't." 

Was  it  humor  or  mere  simplicity  of  mind  that  distinguished  the  heroine  of 
a  little  anecdote  recorded  in   Frederick  Locker's  "  Patchwork"  ?  "  A  friend 

tells  me  a  funny  little  story  of  Mrs. (the  grandmother  of  Colonel  M ), 

who  was  shown  a  picture  of  Joseph  and  Potiphar's  wife,  in  which,  of  course, 
the  patriarch  showed  his  usual  desire  to  withdraw  himself  from  her  society. 

Mrs. looked  at  it  for  a  little  while,  and  then  said,  '  Eh,  now,  and  what 

ails  him  at  the  lassie .'' " 

Nonumque  prematur  in  annum,  the  famous  advice  given  by  Horace  in 
his  "  Ars  Poetica," — Put  away  your  compositions  for  nine  years  at  least  before 
you  give  them  to  the  public.  This  was  substantially  the  counsel  of  Quin- 
tilian  also  :  "  Let  our  literary  compositions  be  laid  aside  for  some  time,  that 
we  may  after  a  reasonable  period  return  to  their  perusal,  and  find  them,  as  it 
were,  altogether  new  to  us." 

It  is  all  very  fine,  madame,  to  remind  me  of  the  Horatian  nonum  prematur  in  annum. 
This  rule,  like  many  others,  may  be  very  pretty  in  theory,  but  is  worth  little  in  practice.  When 
Horace  gave  to  the  author  that  celebrated  precept,  to  let  his  works  lie  nine  years  in  the  desk, 
he  should  also  have  given  with  it  a  receipt  for  living  nine  years  without  food.  While  Horace 
was  inventing  this  advice,  he  sat,  in  all  probability,  at  the  table  of  Maecenas  eating  roast 
turkey  with  truffles,  pheasant-puddings  with  venison  sauce,  ribs  of  larks  with  mangled  tur- 
nips, peacocks'  tongues,  Indian  birds'-nests,  and  the  Lord  knows  what  all,  and  everything 
gratis  at  that.  But  we,  the  unlucky  ones,  born  too  late,  live  in  another  sort  of  times.  Our 
Maecenases  have  an  altogether  different  set  of  principles ;  they  believe  that  authors,  like 
medlars,  are  best  after  they  have  lain  some  time  on  straw,  they  believe  that  literary  hounds 
are  spoiled  for  hunting  similes  and  thoughts  if  they  are  fed  too  high,  and  when  they  do  take 
it  into  their  heads  to  give  to  some  one  a  feed,  it  is  generally  the  worst  dog  who  gets  the  biggest 
piece,— some  fawning  spaniel  who  licks  the  hand,  or  diminutive  "  King  Charles"  who  knows 
how  to  cuddle  up  into  a  ^^dy's  perfumed  lap,  or  some  patient  puppy  of  a  poodle  who  has 
learned  some  bread-earning  science,  and  who  can  fetch  and  carry,  dance  and  drum.  Ma/oi, 
madame,  I  could  never  observe  that  rule  for  four-and-twenty  hours,  let  alone  nine  years  :  my 
belly  has  no  appreciation  of  the  beauties  of  immortality.  I  have  thought  the  matter  over,  and 
concluded  that  it  is  better  to  be  only  half  immortal  and  altogether  fat,  and  if  Voltaire  was  willing 
to  give  three  hundred  years  of  his  eternal  fame  for  one  good  digestion,  so  would  I  give  twice 
as  much  for  the  dinner  itself.  And,  oh,  what  lovely  beautiful  eating  there  is  in  this  world  I 
The  philosopher  Pangloss  is  right,  it  is  the  best  world !  But  one  must  have  money  in  this 
best  of  worlds.  Money  in  the  pocket,  not  manuscripts  in  the  desk.  Mr.  Marr,  mine  host  of 
"  the  King  of  England,"  is  himself  an  author  and  also  knows  the  Horatian  rule,  but  I  do  not 
believe  that  if  I  wished  to  put  it  into  practice  he  would  feed  me  for  nine  years.— Heine: 
Reisebilder. 

Northern  Bear,  Northern  Giant,  popular  current  designations  for  the 
Russian  Empire  : 

We  believe  that  in  arranging  the  terms  of  peace  he  [Napoleon]  was  as  little  inclined  to 
clip  the  claws  of  the  Northern  Bear  as  his  2\\y.— Christian  Examiner. 

It  is  no  small  delight  to  the  lovers  of  truth,  freedom,  and  England  to  see  that  the  Northern 
Giant  has,  by  dint  of  too  much  finesse,  suffered  his  once-willing  prey  to  slip  through  his  hands. 
— Edinburgh  Review. 

Colossus  of  the  North,  from  the  hugeness  of  her  empire  and  the  northern 
situation  of  its  greater  part,  is  another  familiar  designation. 


820  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Northern  Harlot,  Infamous  (Fr.  "  Infame  Catin  du  Nord"),  an  appella- 
tive given  to  the  licentious,  sensual,  and  cruel  Empress  Elizabeth  Petrowna 
of  Russia  (1709-1761).  She  caused  her  husband  Paul  to  be  murdered,  listen- 
ing in  the  next  room,  where  she  heard  the  dogs  lapping  up  the  blood  of  the 
assassinated  emperor.  Her  shameless  harlotry  is  notorious.  She  is  the 
empress  at  whose  court  Byron's  "  Don  Juan"  becomes  a  great  favorite,  and  by 
whom  he  is  sent  to  England  as  ambassador.  The  murder  of  Paul  is  the  sub- 
ject of  one  of  Lander's  most  dramatic  "  Imaginary  Conversations." 

Northwest  Territory,  the  territory  north  of  the  Ohio  River,  east  of  the 
Mississippi,  south  of  the  great  lakes,  and  west  of  the  States  of  New  York, 
Pennsylvania,  and  Virginia.  The  charters  and  patents  to  these  colonies,  as 
also  to  Massachusetts  and  Connecticut,  fixed  no  western  boundary  to  the 
grants  of  territory  made  to  them  respectively,  which  accordingly  extended 
without  limit.  When  the  tract  was  surrendered  by  Great  Britain  to  the  United 
States  under  the  treaty  of  1783,  there  was  great  dispute  among  these  States 
as  to  their  right  in  the  same,  so  much  so  that  at  length  it  was  determined  by 
all  to  cede  their  rights  to  the  Federal  government,  which  was  done  by  all 
unconditionally  except  Connecticut,  which,  while  ceding  its  sovereign  rights, 
reserved  proprietary  rights  in  a  substantial  strip  of  land.  (See  Western 
Reserve.)  A  bill  for  its  organization  was  passed  by  Congress  in  1787,  but 
it  was  not  until  1799  that  it  was  fully  organized  as  the  Northwest  Territory. 
It  was  the  beginning  of  the  "Great  West,"  completed  afterwards  by  the 
Louisiana  Purchase  and  the  conquests  from  Mexico.  The  Northwest  Terri- 
tory comprised  the  whole  area  of  what  are  now  the  States  of  Ohio,  Indiana, 
Illinois,  Wisconsin,  and  Michigan. 

Nose.  To  cut  off  one's  nose  to  spite  one's  face  is  a  proverbial  ex- 
pression common  to  most  modern  nations,  and  meaning,  roughly,  to  sacrifice 
one's  own  interest  for  the  sake  of  revenge,  or,  more  subtly,  to  do  irreparable 
injury  to  one's  self  in  order  to  affect  a  mutual  interest  of  one's  self  and  one's 
enemy.  The  earliest  reported  appearance  of  the  saw  in  literature  is  in  Talle- 
mant  des  Reaux's  "  Historiettes"  (1657-59),  where  it  takes  the  literal  French 
form,  "  Se  couper  le  nez  pour  faire  depit  a  son  visage." 

"  To  keep  one's  nose  to  the  grindstone"  is  another  proverb  of  similar  un- 
certain origin,  meaning  to  be  forced  into  uncongenial,  unpleasant,  or  menial 
work.  "  A  man,"  says  Franklin,  in  his  "  Poor  Richard'siMaxims,"  "  may,  if  he 
knows  not  how  to  save  as  he  gets,  keep  his  nose  to  the  grindstone."  The 
phrase  is  found  as  far  back  as  Hey  wood's  "  Proverbs,"  Part  I.,  ch.  iii. 

Not  for  Joe,  or  Not  for  Joseph,  in  American  and  English  slang,  is  used 
to  intimate  that  one  does  not  intend  or  care  to  do,  or  have,  anything  requested 
It  probably  originated  in  the  refrain  of  a  song  popular  in  the  sixties : 

Not  for  Joseph, 

If  he  knows  it; 

Oh,  no,  no ! 

Not  for  Joe; 

but  this  in  turn  seems  to  have  been  a  special  application  of  the  popular  locu- 
tion "Not  if  I  know  myself,"  sometimes  used  with  the  addition  "and  I  rather 
think  I  do."  This  phrase  is  at  least  as  old  as  Charles  Lamb :  "  Not  if  I  know 
myself  at  all"  ( The  Old  and  New  School- Master). 

Not  men,  but  measures,  a  familiar  phrase  in  the  mouths  of  "  straight- 
out"  politicians,  meaning  that  the  success  of  the  party  policy  is  paramount 
over  the  question  of  the  personal  fitness  of  the  candidate.  Burke,  in  his 
"Thoughts  on  the  Cause  of  the  Present  Discontents,"  vol.  i.  p.  531  (1770), 
alludes  scornfully  to  "  the  cant  of '  not  men,  but  measures.' "   Canning  echoed 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  82 1 

nim  in  a  speech  against  tlie  Addington  ministry  in  1801  :  "Away  with  the 
cant  of  '  measures,  not  men'  ! — the  idle  supposition  that  it  is  the  harness  and 
not  the  horses  that  draw  the  chariot  along.  No,  sir,  if  the  comparison  must 
be  made,  if  the  distinction  must  be  taken,  men  are  everything,  measures  are 
comparatively  nothing."  But  this,  too,  is  mere  cant,  mere  electioneering  talk. 
There  are  undoubtedly  times  when  measures  are  more  important  than  men. 
Brougham  came  closer  to  the  truth  when  he  said  in  the  House  of  Commons, 
November,  1830,  "  It  is  necessary  that  I  should  qualify  the  doctrine  of  its 
being  not  men,  but  measures,  that  I  am  determined  to  support.  In  a  mon- 
archy it  is  the  duty  of  Parliament  to  look  at  the  men  as  well  as  the  measures." 
The  phrase  is  found  for  the  first  time  in  literature  in  Goldsmith's  "  Good- 
Natured  Man,"  Act  ii.  (1768),  but  it  is  evident  that  he  is  only  repeating  a 
current  shibboleth. 

Not  much  of  a  showrer,  an  American  political  phrase  quoted  derisively 
to  an  opponent  who  attempts  to  make  light  of  a  great  defeat.  The  story  in 
explanation  of  the  saying  is  that  while  Noah  was  building  his  ark  one  of  the 
neighbors  used  to  come  daily  and  jeer  at  him.  But  when  the  rain  began,  and 
the  scoffer,  with  ^lis  chin  just  above  water-level,  saw  the  ark  riding  safely  on 
the  waves,  he  changed  his  tone  and  begged  to  be  taken  on  board.  Noah 
refused,  and  the  man  thereujjon  waded  off,  indignantly  exclaiming,  "Go  to 
thunder  with  your  old  ark !  I  don't  believe  there's  going  to  be  much  of  a 
shower  anyway  !" 

Nothing  is  changed;  there  is  only  one  Frenchman  more  (Fr.  "II 
n'y  a  rien  de  change  ;  il  n'y  a  qu'un  Fran5ais  de  plus"),  an  historical  phrase 
printed  as  forming  part  of  the  speech  of  the  Comte  d'Artois  (afterwards  Charles 
X.)  upon  the  restoration  of  Louis  XVIII.,  April  12,  1814.  But  he  never 
really  uttered  it.  He  had  only  murmured  some  nearly  unintelligible  and 
quite  insignificant  words.  That  evening  Talleyrand  assembled  a  brilliant 
company  at  his  hotel.  "  What  did  the  prince  say.'"  was  his  natural  inquiry. 
The  general  answer  was,  "  Nothing  at  all."  "Oh,  but  he  must  have  said 
something  !"  cried  the  wily  diplomat.  And  turning  to  M.  Beugnot,  Minister 
of  the  Interior,  he  continued,  "  Beugnot,  you  are  a  bel-esprit:  go  into  my 
closet  and  make  a  mot.''''  Beugnot  obeyed,  and  came  back  three  times.  But 
his  wit  was  at  fault ;  the  product  did  not  please  the  company.  On  his  fourth 
return  he  triumphantly  produced  the  now  famous  saying.  There  was  a  hearty 
round  of  applause.  "That  will  do,"  cried  Talleyrand;  and  on  the  morrow 
it  appeared  in  the  Moniteitr  as  a  part  of  the  count's  speech.  The  count  him- 
self, more  candid  than  Talleyrand  would  have  been  under  similar  circum- 
stances, declared  that  he  did  not  remember  having  said  anything  of  the  kind. 
But  he  was  reminded  that  the  words  were  in  print,  that  the  newspaper  could 
not  very  well  have  made  a  mistake,  and  was  ultimately  reduced  to  silence  by 
the  congratulations  of  his  friends.  The  mot  won  instant  popularity.  It  was 
bandied  about,  admired,  sneered  at,  parodied.  When  the  first  giraffe  arrived 
in  Paris  a  medal  was  struck  bearing  the  words  "  II  n'y  a  qu'un  bete  de  plus" 
("There  is  only  one  animal  more  ;"  but  the  word  bete  means  fool  as  well  as 
animal,  and  so  had  a  sarcastic  fling  at  the  Bourbons).  When  Francis  I.  of 
Austria  died  in  1835  the  current  phrase  was,  "Nothing  is  changed  ;  there  is 
only  one  Austrian  less."  And  when  Talleyrand  was  appointed  vice-grand- 
elector  of  the  Empire,  Fouche  said,  "Among  so  many  officers  it  will  not 
count ;  it  is  only  one  vice  more." 

Nothing  new  and  nothing  true.     In  his  "  Representative  Men,"  essay 
on   Montaigne,  Emerson,  considering  the  materialist  view  of  life,  complains 
that  "  the  inconvenience  of  this  way  of  thinking  is  that  it  runs  into  indiffer- 
69* 


822  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

entism  and  then  into  disgust.  .  .  .  '  Ah,'  said  my  languid  gentleman  at  Oxford, 
•  there's  nothing  new  or  true — and  no  matter.'  "  But  in  truth  the  utterance 
does  not  seem  to  be  original  at  Oxford.  It  is  a  common  proverb,  of  unknown 
date,  found  in  Cornwall  and  other  portions  of  southwesterly  England  in  the 
form,  "There's  nothing  new,  and  there's  nothing  true,  and  it  don't  signify." 

Nous  avons  change  tout  cela  (Fr.,  "We  have  changed  all  that"),  the 
famous  phrase  of  SganarelJe,  in  Moliere's  "  Le  Medecin  malgre  Lui,"  Act  ii., 
Sc.  7.  Sganarelle,  forced  to  play  the  doctor  against  his  will,  at  last  enters 
into  the  spirit  of  the  thing,  gives  an  absurd  diagnosis  of  the  patient's  disease, 
and  speaks  learnedly  of  vapgrs  passing  from  the  liver  on  the  left  side  to  the 
heart  on  the  right.  "  It  could  not,  doubtless,  be  better  reasoned,"  says 
Geronte.  "  There  is  only  one  thing  which  surprised  me, — the  position  of  the 
heart  and  liver.  It  seems  to  me  that  you  placed  them  differently  from  where 
they  are ;  that  the  heart  is  on  the  left  side  and  the  liver  on  the  right." 
"  Yes,"  replies  Sganarelle,  loftily,  "  it  used  to  be  that  way,  but  tious  avons 
change  tout  cela,  and  we  practise  medicine  now  in  quite  a  different  manner." 
The  phrase  has  become  proverbial  to  ridicule  any  absurd  and  pretentious 
claim  put  forward  by  ignorance. 

Now,  An  eternal.  In  "  The  Doctor,"  Southey  asks,  "  One  of  our  poets 
— which  is  it  > — speaks  of  an  everlasting  now.  If  such  a  condition  of  exist- 
ence were  offered  to  us  in  this  world,  and  it  were  put  to  the  vote  whether  we 
should  accept  the  offer  and  fix  all  things  immutably  as  they  are,  who  are  they 
whose  voices  would  be  given  in  the  affirmative  V  The  poet  in  question  is 
Cowley : 

Nothing  is  there  to  come,  and  nothing  past. 
But  an  eternal  now  does  always  last. 

Davideis,  Book  i. 

Now  I  lay  me  down  to  sleep,  the  first  line  of  a  familiar  childish  prayer, 
whose  succeeding  lines  run  as  follows  : 

I  pray  the  Lord  my  soul  to  keep  ; 
If  I  should  die  before  I  wake, 
I  pray  the  Lord  my  soul  to  take. 

Bartlett  ascribes  the  quatrain  to  the  "  New  England  Primer."  It  may  be 
found  there,  indeed,  credited  to  one  "  Mr.  Rogers,  the  martyr,  whose  wife  and 
ten  small  children  are  so  well  known,"  but  it  is  far  older  than  the  "  Primer" 
or  even  than  Mr.  Rogers.  Rev.  Thomas  Hastings,  in  the  "Mothers'  Nur- 
sery Songs"  (1848),  ascribes  it  to  Watts  ;  but,  a  fortiori,  it  is  older  than  Watts, 
and,  furthermore,  the  nearest  that  Watts  came  to  it  is  in  the  following  lines : 

I  lay  my  body  down  to  sleep, 

Let  angels  guard  my  head. 
And  through  the  hours  of  darkness  keep 

Their  watch  around  my  bed. 

With  cheerful  heart  I  close  my  eyes. 

Since  thou  wilt  not  remove  ; 
And  in  the  morning  let  me  rise 

Rejoicing  in  thy  love. 

In  mediaeval  times  the  prayer  appears  to  have  been  known  as  the  White 
Paternoster,  being  so  styled  in  the  "  Enchiridion  Papae  Leonis,  MCLX." 
Ady's  "Candle  in  the  Dark"  (1655)  quotes  it  in  the  following  form: 

Matthew.  Mark.  Luke,  and  John, 
Bless  the  bed  that  I  lye  on. 
And  blessed  Guardian  Angel,  keep 
Me  safe  from  danger  while  I  sleep. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  823 

I  lay  me  down  to  rest  me 
And  pray  the  Lord  to  bless  me ; 
If  I  should  sleep,  no  more  to  wake, 
I  pray  the  Lord  my  soul  to  take. 

Chaucer,  in  his  "  Night  Spell,"  alludes  to  it : 

Lord  Jhesu  Crist  and  Seynte  Benedyht 
Blesse  this  hous  from  every  wikked  wight, 
Kro  nyghtes  verray,  the  white  Patre  nostre 
When  wonestow  now,  Seynte  Petre's  soster. 

A  more  modern  variant  runs  as  follows  : 

Matthew,  Mark,  Luke,  and  John  ! 
God  bless  the  bed  that  I  lie  on  ! 
Four  comers  to  my  bed. 
Four  angels  round  me  spread  ! 
One  at  the  foot  and  one  at  the  bead. 

And  two  to  keep 

My  soul  asleep  ! 
And  should  1  die  before  I  wake, 
I  pray  thee.  Lord,  my  soul  to  take 
For  my  Redeemer  Jesus'  sake  ! 

It  is  evident  that  Protestantism  gradually  rejected  the  saints  and  angels  from 
the  invocation,  and  remodelled  the  lines  into  the  form  that  is  now  familiar  to 
us.  In  the  original  form,  or  something  like  it,  the  White  Paternoster  occurs 
in  the  popular  hymnology  of  every  country.  Thus,  Quenot,  "  Statistique  de 
la  Charente,"  gives  it  as  follows  : 

Dieu  I'a  fait,  je  la  dit, 

J'ai  trouve  quatre  anges  couches  4  mon  lit, 

Et  le  bon  Dieu  au  milieu. 

De  quoi  puis-je  avoir  peur? 

Le  bon  Dieu  est  mon  pere. 

La  Vierge  ma  mere, 

Les  Saints  mes  freres, 

Les  Saintes  mes  soeurs. 

Le  bon  Dieu  m'a  dit, 

L4ve-toi,  couche-toi, 
Ne  Grains  rien  ;  le  feu,  I'orage  et  la  tempete 

Ne  peuvent  rien  contre  toi ; 
Saint-Jean,  Saint-Marc,  baint-Luc  et  Saint-Matthieu, 

Qui  met  les  ames  en  repos, 
Mettez-y  la  mienne  si  Dieu  le  veut. 

In  the  Loire  it  runs  thus  : 

J^sus  m'endort. 
Si  je  trepasse,  mande  mon  corps, 
Si  je  trepasse,  mande  mon  ame. 
Si  je  vie,  mande  mon  esprit. 
In  Sardinia : 

Anghelu  de  Deu, 

Custodia  meu ! 

Custa  nott'  illuminame, 

Guarda  e  defenda  me 

Ca  eo  mi  incommando  a  Tie. 

Other  forms  may  be  found  in  other  parts  of  France  and  Italy,  in  Germany, 
and  elsewhere. 

Nulla  dies  sine  linea  (L.,  "  No  day  without  a  line").  Pliny,  in  his  "  Natu- 
ral History,"  Book  xxxv.,  Sec.  84,  refers  this  proverb  to  Apelles :  "  It  was 
a  custom  with  Apelles,  to  which  he  most  tenaciously  adhered,  never  to  let 
any  day  pass,  however  busy  he  might  be,  without  exercising  himself  by 
tracing  some  outline  or  other, — a  practice  which  has  now  passed  into  a 
proverb."  Erasmus,  in  his  "  Adagia,"  gives  the  proverb  as  "  Nulla  dies  abeat, 
quin  linea  ducta  supersit."  The  far  superior  modern  version  seems  to  have 
been  a  gradual  evolution.     See,  also,  Day,  I  have  lost  a. 


824;  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

But  I  do  lay  claim  to  whatever  merit  should  be  accorded  to  me  for  persevering  diligence 
in  my  profession.  And  I  make  the  claim,  not  with  a  view  to  my  own  glory,  but  fur  the  bene- 
fit ot  those  who  may  read  these  pa^es,  and,  when  young,  may  intend  to  follow  the  same 
career.  Nulla  dies  sine  linea.  Let  that  be  ihe.r  motto.  And  let  their  work  be  to  them  as 
is  his  common  work  to  the  common  Uborer.— Anthony  Troli-ope  ;  Aulobiogrupky. 


Nullification,  Doctrine  ol  In  the  constitutional  history  of  the 
United  States  this  doctrine  was  that  held  by  the  ultra  strict-constructionists 
(see  L00.SE-C0NSTRUCTIONIST).  According  to  them,  the  Federal  Union  was  a 
mere  league  of  States,  to  which  certain  limited  governmental  ]X)wers  had  been 
delegated,  ultimate  sovereignty  and  all  powers  not  expressly  delegated  re- 
maining with  the  separate  States  ;  so  that  lliese  latter  might  repudiate,  each 
for  itself,  any  general  act  of  Congress  which  in  its  judgment  exceeded  the 
limits  of  the  delegated  powers  strictly  construed  in  favor  of  the  States.  An 
attempt  was  made  in  1832  by  the  Legislature  of  South  Carolina  to  "nullify" 
the  United  States  tariff,  held  to  be  oppressive  to  the  State  and  unconstitu- 
tional in  that  it  went  beyond  the  powers  given  to  Congress  to  raise  revenue 
by  a  tariff  on  imports,  and  embodied  protective  features  in  the  interests  of 
the  manufacturing  States  and  against  those  of  the  purely  agricultural  com- 
munities. Andrew  Jackson's  energetic  measures,  however,  soon  caused  the 
repeal  of  the  act  of  the  South  Carolina  Legislature.  He  pronounced  the 
act  treasonable,  and  sent  General  Scott  to  Charleston  to  maintain  tiie  au- 
thority of  the  Federal  government  and  aid  the  otiticials  in  eitforcing  the 
provisions  of  the  act  of  Congress. 

Numbers,  Curiosities  o£  If  it  be  true  that  figures  won't  lie,  that  they 
won't  even  equivocate,  that  two  and  two  exhibit  an  unbending  determination 
to  make  four  and  nothing  but  four,  at  least  figures  do  often  play  strange 
pranks.  They  abound  in  i>aradoxes,  and  though  a  paradox  is  rightly  defined 
as  a  truth  that  only  appears  to  be  a  lie,  yet  the  stern  moralist,  who  hates  even 
the  appearance  of  evil,  looks  with  scant  favor  upon  a  paradox.  Luckily,  we 
are  not  all  so  stern  in  our  morality.  Most  of  us  welcome  a  little  ingenious 
trifling,  an  amiable  coquetting  with  the  truth  ;  we  are  willing  that  Mr.  Grad- 
grind  shall  have  the  monopoly  of  hard  facts  ;  we  like  to  find  romance  even 
in  our  arithmetic.     And  we  don't  have  far  to  look. 

There  is  the  number  nine.  It  is  a  most  romantic  number,  and  a  most  per- 
sistent, self-willed,  and  obstinate  one.  You  cannot  multiply  it  away  or  get 
rid  of  it  anyhow.  Whatever  you  do,  it  is  sure  to  turn  up  again,  as  did  the 
body  of  Eugene  Aram's  victim. 

Mr.  W.  Green,  who  died  in  1794,  is  said  to  have  first  called  attention  to 
the  fact  that  all  through  the  multiplication  table  the  product  of  nine  comes  to 
nine.  Multiply  by  any  figure  you  like,  and  the  sum  of  the  resultant  digits 
will  invariably  add  up  as 'nine.  Thus,  twice  9  is  18  ;  add  the  digits  together, 
and  I  and  8  make  9.  Three  times  9  is  27  ;  and  2  and  7  is  9.  So  it  goes  on 
up  to  II  times  9,  which  gives  99.  Very  good.  Add  the  digits  together,  9  and 
9  is  18,  and  8  and  i  is  9.  Go  on  to  any  extent,  and  you  will  find  it  impossible 
to  get  away  from  the  figure  9.  Take  an  example  at  random.  Nine  times 
339  is  3051  ;  add  the  digits  together,  and  they  make  9.  Or  again,  9  times 
2127  is  19,134  ;  add  the  digits  together,  they  make  18,  and  8  and  I  is  9.  Or 
still  again,  9  times  5071  is  45,639;  the  sum  of  these  digits  is  27;  and  2  and 

7  'S9- 

This  seems  startling  enough.  Yet  there  are  other  queer  examples  of  the 
same  form  of  persistence.  It  was  M.  de  Maivan  who  discovered  that  if  you 
take  any  row  of  figures,  and,  reversing  their  order,  make  a  subtraction  sum 
of  obverse  and  reverse,  the  final  result  of  adding  up  the  digits  of  the  answer 
will  always  be  9.     As,  for  example : 


1 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  825 

2941 

Reverse,  1492 

T449 

Now,  1+4+4  +  9=  18;  and  1+8=9. 

The  same  result  is  obtained  if  you  raise  the  numbers  so  changed  to  their 
squares  or  cubes.  Start  anew,  for  example,  with  62  ;  reversing  it,  you  get 
26.  Now,  62  —  26  =  36,  and  3+6  =  9.  The  squares  of  26  and  62  are,  re- 
spectively, 676  and  3844.  Subtract  one  from  the  other,  and  you  get  3168 
=  18,  and  1+8  =  9.  ^50  with  the  cubes  of  26  and  62,  which  are  17,576  and 
238,328.     Subtracting,  the  result  is  220,752  =  18,  and  1+8  =  9. 

Again,  you  are  confronted  with  the  same  puzzling  peculiarity  in  another 
form.     Write  down  any  number,  as,  for  example,  7,549,132,  subtract  there- 
from the  sum  of  its  digits,  and,  no  matter  what  figures  you  start  with,  the 
digits  of  the  products  will  always  come  to  9. 
7549132,  sum  of  digits  =  31. 

. 3i_ 

7549101,  sum  of  digits  =  27,  and  2  +  7  =  9. 

Again,  set  the  figure  9  down  in  multiplication,  thus  : 
1X9=9 

2  X  9  =  18 

3  X  9  =  27 

4  X  9  =  36 

5  X  9  =  45 

6  X  9  =  54 

7  X  9  =  63 

8  X  9  =  72 

9  X  9  =  81 
10  X  9  =  90 

Now,  you  will  see  that  the  tens  column  reads  down  i,  2,  3,  4,  5,  6,  7,  8  9, 
and  the  units  column  up  i,  2,  3,  4,  5,  6,  7,  8,  9. 

Here  is  a  different  property  of  the  same  number.  If  you  arrange  in  a  row 
the  cardinal  numbers  from  i  to  9,  with  the  single  omission  of  8,  and  multiply 
the  sum  so  represented  by  any  one  of  the  figures  multiplied  by  9,  the  result 
will  present  a  succession  of  figures  identical  with  that  which  was  multiplied 
by  9.  Thus,  if  you  wish  a  series  of  fives,  you  take  5  X  9  =  45  for  a  multiplier, 
with  this  result: 

12345679 

. 45 

61728395% 
49382716 

555555555 

A  very  curious  number  is  142,857,  which,  multiplied  by  I,  2,  3,  4,  5,  or  6, 
gives  the  same  figures  in  the  same  order,  beginning  at  a  different  point,  but 
if  multiplied  by  7  gives  all  nines.  Multiplied  by  i  it  equals  142,857  ;  multi- 
plied by  2,  equals  285,714  ;  multiplied  by  3,  equals  428,571  ;  multiplied  by  4, 
equals  571,428;  multiplied  by  5,  equals  714,285;  multiplied  by  6,  equals 
857,142;  multiplied  by  7,  equals  999,999.  Multiply  142,857  by  8,  and  you 
have  1,142,856.  Then  add  the  first  figure  to  the  last,  and  you  have  142,857, 
the  original  number,  the  figures  exactly  the  same  as  at  the  start. 

The  number  37  has  this  strange  peculiarity  :  multiplied  by  3,  or  by  any  mul- 
tiple of  3  up  to  27,  it  gives  three  figures  all  alike.     Thus,  three  times.  37  will 


826  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

be  III.  Twice  three  times  (6  times)  37  wiil  be  222  ;  three  times  three  times 
(9  times)  37  gives  three  threes;  four  times  three  times  (12  times)  37,  three 
fours  ;  and  so  on. 

The  wonderfully  procreative  power  of  figures,  or,  rather,  their  accumulative 
growth,  has  been  exemplified  in  that  familiar  story  of  the  farmer  who,  under- 
taking to  pay  his  farrier  one  grain  of  wheat  for  the  first  nail,  two  for  the 
second,  and  so  on,  found  that  he  had  bargained  to  give  the  farrier  more  wheat 
than  was  grown  in  all  England. 

My  beloved  young  friend  who  love  to  frequent  the  roulette-table,  do  you 
know  that  if  you  began  with  a  dime,  and  were  allowed  to  leave  all  your  win- 
nings on  the  table,  five  consecutive  lucky  guesses  would  give  you  a  million 
and  a  half  of  dollars,  or,  to  be  exact,  $1,450,625.52  ? 

Yet  that  would  be  the  result  of  winning  thirty  five  for  one  five  times  hand- 
running. 

Here  is  another  example.  Take  the  number  15,  let  us  say.  Multiply  that 
by  itself,  and  you  get  225.  Now  multiply  225  by  itself,  and  so  on  until  fifteen 
products  have  been  multiplied  by  themselves  in  turn. 

You  don't  think  that  is  a  difficult  problem  }  Well,  you  may  be  a  clever 
mathematician,  but  it  would  take  you  about  a  quarter  of  a  century  to  work 
out  this  simple  little  sum. 

The  final  product  called  for  contains  38,589  figures,  the  first  of  which  are 
1442.  Allowing  three  figures  to  an  inch,  the  answer  would  be  over  1070  feet 
long.  To  perform  the  operation  would  require  about  500,000,000  figures.  If 
they  can  be  made  at  the  rate  of  one  a  minute,  a  person  working  ten  hours  a 
day  for  three  hundred  days  in  each  year  would  be  twenty-eight  years  about  it. 
If,  in  multiplying,  he  should  make  a  row  of  ciphers,  as  he  does  in  other  figures, 
the  number  of  figures  would  be  more  than  523,939,228.  This  would  be  the 
precise  number  of  figures  used  if  the  product  of  the  left-hand  figure  in  each 
multiplicand  by  each  figure  of  the  multiplier  was  always  a  single  figure,  but,  as 
it  is  most  frequently,  though  not  always,  two  figures,  the  method  employed  to 
obtain  the  foregoing  result  cannot  be  accurately  applied.  Assuming  that  the 
cipher  is  used  on  an  average  once  in  ten  times,  475,000,000,000  approximates 
the  actual  number. 

There  is  a  clever  Persian  story  about  a  wealthy  Oriental  who,  dying,  left 
seventeen  camels  to  be  divided  as  follows  :  his  eldest  son  to  have  half,  his 
second  son  a  third,  and  his  youngest  a  ninth.  But  how  divide  camels  into 
fractions?     The  three  sons,  in  despair,  consulted  Mohammed  AH. 

"Nothing  easier,"  said  the  wise  man.  "I'll  lend  you  another  camel  to 
make  eighteen,  and  now  divide  them  yourselves." 

The  consequence  was,  each  brother  got  from  one-eighth  of  a  camel  to  one- 
half  more  than  he  was  entitled  to,  and  AH  received  his  camel  back  again, — 
the  eldest  brother  getting  nine  aamels,  the  second  six,  and  the  third  two. 

There  are  many  mathematical  queries  afloat  whose  object  is  to  puzzle  the 
wits  of  the  unwary  listener  or  to  beguile  him  into  giving  an  absurd  reply. 
Some  of  these  are  very  ancient,  many  are  excellent.  Who,  for  example,  has 
not  at  some  period  of  his  existence  been  asked,  "  If  a  goose  weighs  ten 
pounds  and  half  its  own  weight,  what  is  the  weight  of  the  goose  ?"  And  who 
has  not  been  tempted  to  reply  on  the  instant,  fifteen  pounds?  The  correct 
answer  is,  of  course,  twenty  pounds.  Indeed,  it  is  astonishing  what  a  very 
simple  query  will  sometimes  catch  a  wise  man  napping.  Even  the  following 
has  been  known  to  succeed  : 

"  How  many  days  would  it  take  to  cut  up  a  piece  of  cloth  fifty  yards  long, 
one  yard  being  cut  off  every  day  ?" 

Or  again  : 

"A  snail  climbing  up  a  post  twenty  feet  high  ascends  five  feet  every  day, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  827 

and  slips  down  four  feet  every  night :  how  long  will  the  snail  take  to  reach 
the  top  of  the  post  ?" 
Or  again : 

"A  wise  man  having  a  window  one  yard  high  and  one  yard  wide,  and 
requiring  more  light,  enlarged  his  window  to  twice  its  former  size ;  yet  the 
window  was  still  only  one  yard  high  and  one  yard  wide.  How  was  this  done  ?" 
This  is  a  catch  question  in  geometry,  as  the  preceding  were  catch-questions 
in  arithmetic, — the  window  being  diamond-shaped  at  first,  and  afterwards 
made  square.  As  to  the  two  former,  perhaps  it  is  scarcely  necessary  seriously 
to  point  out  that  the  answer  to  the  first  is  not  fifty  days,  but  forty-nine  ;  and 
to  the  second,  not  twenty  days,  but  sixteen, — since  the  snail,  who  gains  one 
foot  each  day  for  fifteen  days,  climbs  on  the  sixteenth  day  to  the  top  of  the 
pole,  and  there  remains. 

Numbers  have  a  legendary  and  mystic  signification.  It  is  not  only  the 
mathematician  that  has  been  fascinated  by  them.  The  poet,  the  philosopher, 
the  priest,  have  pondered  over  their  changeless  relations  to  each  other,  have 
seen  in  mathematical  truth  the  one  thing  absolutely  fixed  and  sure,  and  have 
come  to  look  upon  numbers  and  their  symbols  as  in  some  sort  a  revela- 
tion from  on  high,  things  to  be  dealt  with  reverently  and  awesomely.  And 
so  almost  every  number  has  been  given  an  esoteric  meaning. 

The  number  one,  as  being  indivisible,  and  as  entering  into  all  other  numbers, 
was  always  a  sacred  number.  The  Egyptians  made  it  the  symbol  of  life,  of 
mind,  of  the  creative  spirit. 

Three,  in  the  Pythagorean  system,  was  the  perfect  number,  expressive  of 
beginning,  middle,  and  end.  From  time  immemorial  greater  prominence  has 
been  given  to  it  than  to  any  other  number,  save  perhaps  seven.  And  as  the 
symbol  of  the  Trinity  its  influence  has  waxed  more  potent  in  more  recent 
times.  It  appears  over  and  over  again  in  the  Old  Testament  and  the  New. 
When  the  world  was  created  we  find  land,  water,  and  sky,  sun,  moon, 
and  stars.  Noah  had  three  sons ;  Jonah  was  three  days  in  the  whale's  belly; 
Christ  three  days  in  the  tomb.  There  were  three  patriarchs, — Abraham, 
Isaac,  and  Jacob.  Abraham  entertained  three  angels.  Job  had  three  friends. 
Samuel  was  called  three  times.  Samson  deceived  Delilah  three  times.  Three 
times  Saul  essayed  to  kill  David  with  a  javelin.  Jonathan  shot  three  arrows 
on  David's  behalf  Daniel  was  thrown  into  a  den  with  three  lions  for  pray- 
ing three  times  a  day.  Shadrach,  Meshach,  and  Abednego  were  rescued 
from  the  fiery  furnace.  The  Commandments  were  delivered  on  the  third 
day.  St.  Paul  speaks  of  Faith,  Hope,  and  Charity,  these  three.  Three  wise 
men  came  to  worship  Christ  with  presents  three.  Christ  spoke  three  times 
to  Satan  when  tempted.  He  prayed  three  times  before  his  betrayal.  Peter 
denied  him  three  times.  Christ  suffered  three  hours'  agony  on  the  cross. 
The  superscription  was  in  three  languages,  and  three  men  were  crucified. 
The  third  day  Christ  arose  again,  and  appeared  three  times  to  his  disciples. 
And  so  on,  and  so  on.     It  were  tedious  to  continue  the  enumeration. 

In  classic  mythology  the  Graces  and  the  Furies  were  three,  the  Muses 
were  originally  three,  and  Cerberus's  three  heads,  Neptune's  trident,  the 
tripod  of  Delphi,  are  a  few  more  instances  of  the  sacred  character  of  the 
number. 

Who  does  not  remember  the  three  bears  of  nursery  lore,  the  three  feline 
infants  who  lost  their  mittens,  the  three  wise  men  of  Gotham  who  went  to  sea 
in  a  bowl,  or  the  three  finiking  Frenchmen  frying  frogs,  and  recall  the  de- 
light he  felt  in  the  story  of  the  farmer's  wife  who  vowed  vengeance  on  the 
three  hapless  mice,  or  of  Old  King  Cole  with  his  "fiddlers  three"?  Then, 
when  fairy-tales  began  to  charm,  who  does  not  recollect  learning  that  the 
elfish  creatures  carried  bows  made  of  the  ribs  of  a  man  buried  where  three 


828  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

lairds'  lands  meet  ?  Those  who  followed  Gulliver  in  his  travels  will  call  to 
mind  that  in  the  kingdom  of  Liliput  the  three  great  prizes  of  honor  were 
fine  silk  threads,  six  inches  long,  in  colors  blue,  red,  and  green  ;  but  perhaps 
every  reader  had  not  the  opportunity  of  being  fascinated  by  the  German 
story  which  relates  how  a  miller's  daughter,  wedded  to  a  king,  was  ordered 
by  him  to  spin  straw  into  gold,  and  had  it  done  for  her  by  the  dwarf  Rumpel- 
stilzchen,  on  condition  that  she  gave  him  her  first-born.  She  cried  so  bitterly 
that  he  promised  to  relent  if  she  guessed  his  name  in  three  days.  Two  days 
were  spent  in  vain  guesses,  but  the  third  the  queen's  servants  heard  a  strange 
voice,  singing  "  Little  dreams  my  dainty  dame  Rumpelstilzchen  is  my  name." 
The  queen  saved  her  child,  and  the  dwarf  killed  himself  with  rage. 

France,  Belgium,  Holland,  and  Italy  all  fly  three  national  colors.  The 
Turkish  vizier  has  his  standard  ornamented  with  three  horse-tails.  The 
Prince  of  Wales's  crest  consists  of  three  feathers.  Indeed,  the  annals  of 
heraldry  revel  in  designs  of  a  triplicate  character,  the  three  British  lions 
being  conspicuous.  The  original  armorial  ensign  of  the  Isle  of  Man  was  a 
ship  in  full  sail  ;  but  after  the  battle  of  Ronaldsway  Alexander  III.  substi- 
tuted the  present  curious  device,  having  probably  taken  it  from  the  emblem  of 
Sicily, — the  ancient  Trinacria  found  upon  Greek  vases.  In  1363,  Charles  VI., 
it  appears,  reduced  the  Fleurs-de-Lis  to  three  in  number,  from  the  mystic 
superstition  of  the  Church.  Every  one  familiar  with  University  life  knows 
what  it  is  to  drink  copus,  bishop,  and  cardinal.  Ecclesiastical  history  is  re- 
plete with  such  triads,  as,  for  example,  the  Bell,  Book,  and  Candle  ;  the 
Triduum,  or  three  days'  prayer  ;  the  Pope's  three  crowns  ;  and  "The  Mystery 
of  the  Three  Dons,"  a  religious  play  which  lasted  three  days. 

Nay,  do  not  life  itself  and  nature  proclaim  the  same  truth  ?  Have  we 
not  morning,  noon,  and  night ;  fish,  flesh,  and  fowl ;  water,  ice,  and  snow ; 
hell,  earth,  and  heaven  ?  The  very  lightning  from  heaven  is  three-forked. 
Life  is  divided  into  youth,  manhood,  and  old  age.  The  os  sacrum,  supposed 
to  resist  the  action  of  water,  fire,  mill,  or  anvil,  is  triangular  in  shape.  Man 
himself  is  said  to  be  threefold, — body,  soul,  and  spirit,  or,  as  Laertes  has  it,  a 
mortal  part,  a  divine  and  ethereal  part,  and  an  aerial  and  vaporous  part. 
According  to  the  Romans,  man  has  a  threefold  soul, — the  anima,  or  spirit, 
the  umbra,  and  the  manes  ;  and,  as  was  also  the  opinion  of  the  Greeks,  three 
Parcje,  or  Fates,  arbitrarily  controlled  his  birth,  life,  and  death.  Oculists 
aflirm  that  our  early  progenitors  were  giants  possessed  of  three  eyes,  the 
third  eye  being  in  the  back  of  the  head. 

No  wonder  the  witches  in  "  Macbeth"  ask,  "  When  shall  we  three  meet 
again  ?" 

Four,  as  the  first  square,  was  highly  revered  by  the  Pythagoreans.  They 
swore  by  it,  but  ten  was  the  more  holy  as  the  symbol  of  the  absolute.  One 
plus  two  plus  three  plus  four  make  ten,  and  four  contains  the  smaller  num- 
bers. Therefore,  since  its  contents  made  ten,  it  was  sacred.  Besides,  four 
represented  the  four  elements,  the  four  cardinal  points ;  it  stood  for  equi- 
librium and  for  the  earth. 

Five  was  considered  the  number  of  dominion  by  knowledge.  The  penta- 
gram, or  Solomon's  seal,  was  its  symbol,  and  the  Gnostic  schools  adopted  it 
as  their  crest.  It  was  much  employed  in  incantations,  and  often  was  used  as 
the  symbol  of  man,  who  has  five  senses,  five  members, — head  and  four  limbs, 
— five  fingers,  etc. 

Six  is  a  perfect  number ;  its  symbol  is  two  triangles  base  to  base ;  it  rep- 
resents equilibrium  and  peace. 

Seven,  which  is  composed  of  four,  a  good  number,  and  three,  a  good  num- 
ber, has  always  been  regarded  as  sacred  and  mystic;  indeed,  it  rivals  in 
popiUitfity  the  number  three. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  829 

Take  the  Bible,  for  example  :  there  are  seven  days  of  creation  ;  after 
seven  days'  respite  the  flood  came  ;  the  years  of  famine  and  of  plenty  were  in 
cycles  of  seven  ;  every  seventh  day  was  a  Sabbath,  every  seventh  year  the 
Sabbath  of  rest-;  after  every  seven  times  seven  years  came  the  jubilee  ;  the 
feast  of  unleavened  bread  and  the  feast  of  tabernacles  were  observed  seven 
days;  the  golden  candlestick  had  seven  branches;  seven  priests  with  seven 
trumpets  encompassed  Jericho  once  a  day,  and  seven  times  on  the  seventh 
day  ;  Jacob  obtained  his  wives  by  servitudes  of  seven  years  ;  Samson  kept 
his  nuptials  seven  days,  and  on  the  seventh  day  he  put  a  riddle  to  his  wife, 
and  he  was  bound  with  seven  green  withes,  and  seven  locks  of  his  hair  were 
shaved  off";  Nebuchadnezzar  was  seven  years  a  beast ;  Shadrach  and  his  two 
companions  in  misfortune  were  cast  into  a  furnace  heated  seven  times  more 
than  it  was  wont.  In  the  New  Testament  nearly  everything  occurs  by  sevens, 
and  at  the  end  of  the  sacred  volume  we  read  of  seven  churches,  seven  candle- 
sticks, seven  spirits,  seven  trumpets,  seven  seals,  seven  stars,  seven  thunders, 
seven  vials,  seven  plagues,  seven  angels,  and  a  seven-headed  monster. 

The  Jews  considered  this  number  the  embodiment  of  perfection  and  unity. 
Thus,  they  asserted  that  the  Hebrew  letters  composing  the  name  of  Samuel 
have  the  value  of  seven, — a  recognition  of  the  greatness  and  perfection  of  his 
character. 

Turn  now  to  other  nations  than  the  Jews  and  to  other  religions  than  the 
Christian.     The  number  seven  still  retains  its  mystic  character. 

Pythagoras  pronounced  the  number  to  belong  especially  to  sacred  things. 
Hippocrates  divided  the  ages  of  man  into  seven,  an  arrangement  afterwards 
adopted  by  Shakespeare.  Long  before  them,  however,  the  Egyptian  priests 
had  enjoined  rest  on  the  seventh  day,  because  it  was  an  unlucky  day  ;  and 
still  farther  back  in  the  mists  of  antiquity  we  find  the  institution  of  a  Sabbath, 
or  day  of  rest  every  seven  days,  existing  in  a  rudimentary  form  among  the 
Chaldeans.  The  Egyptians  knew  of  seven  planets,  hence  the  seven  days  of 
the  week,  each  ruled  and  named  after  its  proper  constellation.  It  is  singular 
that  the  ancient  Peruvians  likewise  had  a  seven-day  week,  though  without 
planetary  patronage  or  planetary  names.  They  also  had  a  tradition  of  a  great 
deluge,  wherefrom  seven  jieople  saved  themselves  in  a  cave  and  repeopled 
the  earth.  A  similar  tradition  existed  in  Mexico,  but  there  the  seven 
survivors  were  each  hidden  in  a  separate  cave  until  the  subsidence  of  the 
waters. 

Mediaeval  legend,  too,  continues  this  mystic  tribute  to  the  number  seven. 
The  delightful  old  slumberers  carry  on  the  idea.  The  great  originals,  the 
sleepers  of  Ephesus,  are  seven  in  number.  Barbarossa,  in  his  magic  sleep  in 
the  Kyff'hauserberg,  shifts  his  position  every  seven  years  ;  Olger  Danske 
stamps  his  iron  mace  on  the  floor  once  during  the  same  period  ;  Olger 
Redbeard,  in  Sweden,  lifts  his  eyelids  only  once  in  seven  years.  Tanhauser 
and  Thomas  of  Ercildoune  each  spend  seven  years  of  magic  enthralment 
under  the  earth. 

The  Pythagorean  philosophers  called  eight  the  number  of  justice,  because 
it  divided  evenly,  they  said,  into  four  and  four,  and  four  divides  evenly  into 
two  and  two,  which  again  divides  into  one  and  one.  Also,  as  the  first  cube, 
it  represented  the  corner-stone  and  capacity,  hence  plenty. 

Nine,  representing  three  triangles,  means  the  equilibrium  of  the  three 
worlds,  and  is  therefore  of  good  omen  ;  besides,  as  three  is  a  good  number, 
three  multiplied  by  three  is  also  favorable.  The  Chinese  have  a  great  rev- 
erence for  this  number.  They  prostrate  themselves  nine  times  before  their 
emperor.  Some  African  tribes  have  the  same  form  of  salutation  for  their 
chiefs. 

Ten  was  considered  a  perfect  number  even  before  the  invention  of  the  deci- 
70 


830  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

mal  system.  The  fact  that  we  have  ten  fingers  and  ten  toes  gave  it  its  mathe- 
matical importance,  inasmuch  as  it  was  by  means  of  fingers  and  toes  that  our 
rude  forefathers  first  learned  to  reckon. 

St.  Augustine  held  the  number  eleven  to  be  an  evil  number,  a  transgres- 
sion of  ten,  which  is  the  number  of  the  law.  That  thirteen  is  unlucky  is  no 
modern  superstition. 

Sixteen,  the  square  of  the  just  square,  is  lucky;  eighteen  is  unlucky,  but 
is  used  in  incantations  over  drugs  ;  nineteen  is  considered — why  is  hard  to 
guess — the  number  of  the  sun,  hence  of  gold  ;  twenty-eight  implies  the  favor 
of  the  moon,  which  is  an  uncertain  favor  ;  fifty  is  a  lucky  number  to  the  Kab- 
balists,  so  is  sixty. 

It  will  be  seen  that  the  most  sacred  and  beneficent  numbers  are  the  odd 
ones.  Hence  may  arise  the  modern  superstition  among  gamblers  that  there 
is  luck  in  odd  numbers.  But  among  the  ancient  heathens  also  even  numbers 
were  shunned,  because  each  can  be  dividedinto  two,  a  number  that  Pythagoras 
and  others  denounced  as  the  symbol  of  death  and  dissolution  and  evil  augury 
generally. 

The  antique  worship  of  mystic  numbers  still  shows  its  after-effect  in  various 
popular  superstitions.  For  instance,  the  seventh  son  of  a  seventh  son  (called 
in  France  a  marcou)  is  reputed  to  possess  singular  powers  of  healing,  and 
even  intelligent  people  still  hold  to  the  fallacy  that  young  animals  born  blind 
will  open  their  eyes  on  the  ninth  day.  The  truth  is  that  the  blindness-period 
of  puppies  varies  from  ten  to  sixteen  days,  and  that  of  kittens  from  six  to 
twelve.  The  frequent  assertion  that  "  colds"  will  run  their  natural  course  in 
nine  days  is  equally  erroneous.  A  slight  catarrh,  characterized  by  all  its  un- 
mistakable symptoms,  may  come  and  depart  in  three  times  twenty-four  hours, 
while  chronic  "colds"  are  often  as  persistent  as  their  cause,  and  may  worry  a 
whole  family  from  Christmas  to  the  season  of  open  windows.  Country  experts 
in  the  phenomena  of  rabies  are  apt  to  assure  the  victim  of  a  snapping  cur  that 
the  bite  of  a  mad  dog  will  show  its  effect  on  the  seventh  day,  after  which  time 
(sometimes  extended  to  the  ninth  day)  the  dread  of  evil  consequences  may  be 
dismissed ;  but  the  truth  is  that  the  virus  of  hydrophobia  may  remain  latent 
for  more  than  five  years. 

The  old  idea  that  man  changes  his  body  entirely  every  seven  years  is  part 
of  the  same  general  fallacy.  Mediaeval  physiologists  were  fond  of  noting  that 
seven  months  is  the  least  time  in  which  a  child  may  be  born  and  live,  that  the 
teeth  spring  out  in  the  seventh  month  and  are  renewed  in  the  seventh  year, 
that  he  becomes  a  youth  at  twice  seven,  at  four  times  seven  is  in  full  posses- 
sion of  his  strength,  at  five  times  seven  is  fitted  for  the  business  of  the  world, 
at  six  times  seven  becomes  grave  and  wise,  or  never,  at  seven  times  seven  is 
at  his  apogee,  at  eight  times  seven  in  his  first  climacteric,  and  at  nine  times 
seven  in  his  grand  climacteric. 

Nutmeg  State,  a  sobriquet  for  Connecticut.  The  Connecticut  variety 
of  Yankee  has  always  enjoyed  a  singular  reputation  for  what  is  known  as 
"  smartness"  in  business,  extending  even  to  such  sharpers'  tricks  as  substi- 
tuting wooden  hams  (this,  of  course,  jocosely  only),  and,  more  seriously,  to 
the  alleged  manufacture  of  nutmegs  of  cedar  fashioned  in  imitation  of  the 
real  article. 

The  Empire  State  is  your  New  York, — 

I  grant  it  hard  to  mate  her ; 
Yet  still  give  me  the  Nutmeg  State  : 
Where  shall  we  find  a  greater? 

Yankee  Ballads. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  83] 


O,  the  fifteenth  letter  and  fourth  vowel  of  the  English,  as  of  the  Latin, 
alphabet.  In  Greek,  however,  and  in  the  parent  Phoenician  it  was  separated 
from  N  by  a  character  which  in  the  former  had  the  value  of  ks  (^)  and  in 
the  latter  was  a  sibilant.  It  has  no  traceable  Egyptian  prototype.  While  in 
form  it  is  identical  with  the  ain  of  the  Phoenicians  and  Hebrews,  that  peculiar 
guttural  sound,  to  us  well-nigh  unpronounceable,  was  arbitrarily  changed 
by  the  Greeks  to  the  present  vowel  sound.  Hence  the  otherwise  plausible 
theory  that  O  represents  and  is  imitated  from  the  rounded  position  of  the 
lips  in  its  utterance  is  untenable.  It  is  more  likely  it  represents  an  eyeball, 
the  word  ain  meaning  "  eye."  The  ancient  Greeks  doubled  the  O  when  they 
wished  to  give  it  the  long  sound,  but  eventually  this  double  O  developed  into 
a  new  character,  w,  omega,  or  big  O,  and  the  single  O  became  known  as  omicron, 
or  little  O. 

In  logic  the  sign  O  is  used  as  the  symbol  of  the  particular  negative  propo- 
sition.   (See  A.) 

Anciently  the  letter  was  used  as  a  synonyme  for  anything  circular  or  ap- 
proximately so,  as  representing  the  shape  of  the  letter. 
Fair  Helena,  who  more  engilds  the  night 
Than  all  yon  fiery  oes  and  eyes  of  light. 

Shakespeare  :  Midsummer  Night's  Dream,  Act  iii.,Sc.  2. 
May  we  cram 
Within  this  wooden  O  [the  theatre]  the  very  casques 
That  did  affright  the  air  at  Agincourt  ? 

Henry  V.,  Prologue. 

O.  K.,  a  popular  American  abbreviation,  meaning  "  all  right,"  used  not 
only  in  current  talk  but  in  serious  business,  as  in  the  marking  of  documents, 
etc.  Quite  a  cycle  of  legendary  explanations  have  gathered  around  the 
term.  It  is  plausibly  held  that  in  early  colonial  days  the  best  rum  and 
tobacco  were  imported  from  Aux  Cayes,  in  San  Domingo.  Hence  the  best 
of  anything  came  to  be  known  locally  as  Aux  Cayes,  or  O.  K.  The  term 
did  not,  however,  pass  into  general  use  until  the  Presidential  campaign  of 
1828,  when  the  supposed  illiteracy  of  Andrew  Jackson,  the  Democratic  can- 
didate, was  the  stock  in  trade  of  his  Whig  opponents.  Seba  Smith,  the 
humorist,  writing  under  the  name  of  "  Major  Jack  Downing,"  started  the  story 
that  Jackson  endorsed  his  papers  O.  K.,  under  the  impression  that  they 
formed  the  initials  of "  Oil  Korrect."  It  is  not  at  all  impossible  that  the 
general  did  use  this  endorsement,  and  that  it  was  used  by  other  people  also. 
But  Mr.  Parton  has  discovered  in  the  records  of  the  Nashville  court  of  which 
Jackson  was  a  judge  before  he  became  President,  numerous  documents  en- 
dorsed O.  R.,  meaning  Order  Recorded.  He  urges,  therefore,  that  it  was  a 
record  of  that  court  with  some  belated  business  which  Major  Downing  saw 
on  the  desk  of  the  Presidential  candidate.  However  this  may  be,  the  Demo- 
crats, in  lieu  of  denying  the  charge,  adopted  the  letters  O.  K.  as  a  sort  of 
party  cry,  and  fastened  them  on  their  banners. 

Oaths  and  Curses.  The  good  John  Keble,  a  poet  himself  as  well  as  a 
Christian,  in  an  article  that  appeared  in  the  British  Critic  somewhere  about 
the  forties,  after  characterizing  swearing  as  a  hateful  custom,  nevertheless 
admits  that  it  clearly  indicates  "a  mind  overcome  with  some  violent  but  re- 
strained feeling,  and  seeking  a  vent  for  it  anyhow,  and  so  far  the  very  con- 
dition of  poetical  composition."  Another  poet  and  moralist  goes  still  further, 
Coleridge,  in  his  "Apologetic  Preface"  to  a  certain  poem  against  Pitt,  con- 


832  HANDY'BOOK  OF 

siders  "a  rapid  flow  of  outri  and  wildly  combined  execrations"  as  "escape^ 
valves  to  carry  off  the  excess  of  the  passions  as  so  much  superfluous  steam," 
and  goes  on  to  speak  of  such  violent  words  as  "  mere  bubbles,  flashes,  and 
electrical  apparitions  from  tlie  magic  caldron  of  a  fervid  and  ebullient  fancy, 
constantly  fuelled  by  an  unexampled  opulence  of  language."  The  inference 
is  plain.  Poets  must  be  expected  to  swear.  The  great  poetic  heart  must 
find  occasional  relief  in  blasphemy.  It  is  one  of  the  privileges  of  \.\\^  genus 
irritabile.  Possibly  the  same  "rule  will  hold  good  with  all  highly-organized  and 
sensitive  natures.  Shakespeare,  at  least,  seems  to  have  thought  so.  He  puts 
into  the  mouth  of  the  fiery  and  poetical  Hotspur  the  counsel  to  his  wife  not 
only  to  swear,  but  to  swear  boldly,  with  a  high-born  and  feminine  roundness 
and  fulness  of  volume  : 

Swear  me,  Kate,  like  a  lady  as  thou  art, 

A  good  mouih-filling  oath. 

Cloten,  in  "Cymbeline,"  lays  down  an  even  broader  proposition:  "When 
a  gentleman  is  disposed  to  swear,  it  is  not  for  any  standeis-by  to  curtail  his 
oaths,  ha?"  And  Cloten  was  a  queen's  son.  Nevertheless  he  was  not  quite 
a  gentleman.  In  the  romantic  and  picturesque  past,  kings,  nobles,  and  men 
of  parts  ransacked  the  language  for  strange  oaths.  To  swear  by  some  por- 
tion of  the  Deity  or  of  a  saint  was  especially  fashionable  and  aesthetic.  Our 
English  ancestors  blasphemed  indifferently  in  French  and  in  English  :  they 
said  morblcu  (which  is  morte  de  Dien),  tiidieu  {tete de Dim),  corbleu  {corps de Dieii), 
ventre-bleu  (ventre  de  Dim),  sam-bleu  (sang  de  Dieu),  or  else  "Zounds,"  "'Slid," 
"  'Sblood,"  and  "  'Sdeath"  ("  God's  wounds,"  "  God's  lid,"  "  God's  blood," 
and  "  God's  death").  The  Plantagenet  kings  were  known  by  their  refined  and 
characteristic  oaths.  The  favorite  blasphemies  of  royalty  are  on  record,  the 
Red  King  being,  as  his  temperament  and  complexion  would  have  led  us  to 
expect,  very  full  and  ingenious  and  original  in  the  matter  of  cursing.  One  of 
his  least  objectionable  oaths  was  by  "  St.  Luke's  face."  His  royal  father,  the 
Conqueror,  usually  swore  by  "the  splendor  of  God."  John's  oath  was  by 
"God's  tooth,"  Henry  II.'s  by  "God's  eyes."  Elizabeth  swore  with  a  vigor 
and  masculinity  that  make  her  favorite  expletives  unquotable.  Shakespeare 
is  usually  careful  to  follow  history  in  this  regard.  He  makes  Richard  III. 
swear  by  St.  Paul,  which  was  his  favorite  oath  according  to  tradition,  though 
once  the  dramatist  trips  up  in  substituting  "by  my  George," — i.e.,  the  figure 
of  St.  George  on  the  badge  of  Knights  of  the  Garter,  which  was  not  used 
until  the  reign  of  Henry  VII.  Lord  Herbert  of  Cherbury  in  his  own  quaint 
manner  tells  us  that  his  defence  of  James  I.'s  habit  of  cursing  "  was  much 
celebrated  in  the  French  court."  The  Prince  de  Conde  complaining  on  a 
visit  to  Lord  Herbert  that  the  king  was  much  given  to  cursing,  "  I  answered 
that  it  was  out  of  his  gentleness  ;  but  the  Prince  demanding  how  cursing  could 
be  gentleness,  I  replied  yes  ;  for  tho'  he  could  punish  men  himself,  yet  he 
left  them  to  God  to  punish." 

But  indeed  the  French  kings  were  not  far  behind  the  English.  Like  the 
English,  too,  they  were  choice  in  their  oaths :  each  had  his  own.  We  all 
remember  how  in  "Quentin  Durward"  Louis  XI.  iterates  "  Pasques  Dieu  !" 
even  to  weariness.  The  feats  of  that  monarch  and  his  successors  are  thus 
recorded  in  a  popular  poem  called  the  "Epitheton  des  quatre  Rois,"  proba- 
bly written  in  the  time  of  Francis  I.  : 

Quand  !e  Pasque  Dieu  deceda,  (Louis  XI.) 

Le  Bon  Jour  Dieu  hii  succeda.  (Charles  VIII.) 

Au  Bon  Jour  Dieu  deffiinct  et  mort 

Succed  I  le  Dyable  m'emporte.  (Lxjuis  Xll.) 

Luy  deced.i,  nous  voyons  comme 

Mous  duist  la  Foi  de  Gentii  Homme.  (Franijois  1.) 


LITERARY  CURIOSfTIES.  833 

Henry  IV.  introduced  the  curious  oath  "  Jarnicoton"  into  polite  conversation. 
He  had  been  in  the  habit  of  saying  "  Je  renie  Dieu"  ("  I  deny  God"),  but  his 
confessor,  Father  Coton,  a  Jesuit,  expostulated  with  the  royal  penitent,  and 
begged  him  rather  to  use  the  words  "  Je  renie  Coton  :"  hence  arose  the  new 
expression.  It  may  have  been  on  some  such  principle  that  he  manufactured 
his  still  more  famous  oath  Ventre  St.-Gris.  Certainly  St. -Oris  is  mentioned 
in  no  Church  calendar.  He  may  have  been  an  imaginary  saint,  invented  as 
the  patron  of  drunkards,  as  St.-Lache  was  invented  for  the  lazy,  and  Ste.- 
Nitouche  for  hypocrites. 

Shakespeare  has  recorded  a  large  number  of  curious  oaths  which  were 
doubtless  common  among  all  orders  of  society  in  his  time.  Hamlet  swears  by 
"  St.  Patrick,"  by  "  Our  Lady,"  and  by  "  the  rood  ;"  Polonius  and  many  others, 
by  "  the  mass  ;"  Mrs.  Page,  by  "  the  dickens"  (devilkins,  or  little  devil)  ;  Par- 
son Evans,  by  "God's  lords  and  his  ladies,"  " 'od's  [God's]  plessed  will,"  and 
"the  tevil  and  his  tarn  ;"  Corporal  Nym,  by  "welkin  and  his  star  ;"  Shallow 
and  Page,  by  "  cock  and  pie," — possibly  a  reference  to  the  cock  and  magpie, 
a  common  ale-house  sign,  but  more  probably  God  and  Pye, — i.e.,  a  prayer- 
book.  Scattered  among  the  plays  continually  reappear  such  expressions  as 
"  'od's  lifelings"  (God's  dear  life),  "by  my  halidom"  ("  holy  dame,"  or  possibly 
"holy  dom"  =  salvation,  or  state  of  being  holy),  "bodikins"  ("little  body"), 
"Marry"  (a  supposed  corruption  of  Mary),  "by  my  fay"  (faith),  "'Slid" 
("  God's  lid"),  "  'odsme"  ("  God  smite  me"),  not  to  mention  "  'Fore  God," 
"God  a  mercy,"  "  Mercy  on  me,"  "  Faith,"  "  Upon  my  soul,"  "by  Gys,"  and 
a  host  of  similar  interjections.  No  wonder  that  James  Howel  in  one  of  his 
"Epistolae  Ho-Elianae,"  dated  August  i,  1628,  writes,  "This  infandous  cus- 
tom of  swearing,  I  observe,  reigns  in  England  lately  more  than  anywhere 
else  ;  fhough  a  German,  in  highest  puff  of  passion,  swears  by  a  hundred  thou- 
sand sacraments,  the  Frenchman  by  the  Death  of  God,  the  Spaniard  by  His 
Flesh,  the  Irishman  by  His  Five  Wounds,  though  the  Scot  commonly  bids 
the  Devil  hale  his  Soul,  yet  for  variety  of  oaths  the  English  roarers  put  down 
all.  Consider  well  what  a  dangerous  thing  it  is  to  tear  in  pieces  that  Dread- 
ful Name,  which  makes  the  vast  fabric  of  the  world  to  tremble." 

But  on  the  authority  of  Sir  John  Harrington,  half  a  century  previous,  we 
learn  that  the  great  national  oath  which  has  overshadowed  all  others  was 
already  beginning  to  assert  its  sway  : 

In  olden  times  an  ancient  custom  was 

To  swear  in  mighty  matters  by  the  mass  ; 

But  when  the  mass  went  down,  as  old  men  note. 

They  swore  then  by  the  cross  of  this  same  groat; 

And  when  ihe  cross  was  likewise  held  in  scorn, 

'then  by  \.\\e\r/uitk  the  common  oath  was  sworn ; 

Last,  having  sworn  away  all  faith  and  truth. 

Only  God  damn  them  is  the  common  oath  : 

Thus  custom  kept  decorum  by  gradation. 

That,  losing  mass,  cross,  faith,  they  find  damnation. 

The  last-named  oath  has  been  looked  upon  as  the  shibboleth  of  the  English 
for  nearly  five  centuries.  At  the  trial  of  Joan  of  Arc  (anno  1429)  one  of  the 
witnesses,  Colette,  being  asked  who  "Godon"  was,  replied  that  it  was  a  nick- 
name given  to  the  English  from  their  favorite  exclamation  (Sharon  Turner  : 
History  of  the  Middle  Ages,  8vo  ed.,  vol.  ii.  p.  555).  And  the  maid  herself, 
while  chained  in  her  prison-cell,  proudly  said  to  the  Earls  of  Warwick  and 
Stafford,  "You  think  when  you  have  slain  me  you  will  conquer  France, 
but  that  you  will  never  do.  Though  there  were  a  hundred  thousand  God- 
diwiniees  more  in  France  than  there  are,  they  will  never  conquer  that  kingdom." 
The  name  by  which  the  English  were  known  to  Joan  of  Arc  has  followed 
their  morning  drum-beat  around  the  world,  so  that  in  every  savage  aiid 
ccc  -JO* 


834  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

civilized  clime  their  favorite  imprecation  has  become  the  national  sobriquet. 
In  1770  Lord  Hales  tells  us  that  in  Holland  little  children  saluted  the  English 
with  the  words  "There  come  the  Goddams."  Captain  Hall  more  recently 
informed  us  that  when  a  Sandwich-Islander  wished  to  propitiate  a  British 
crew  he  wooed  them  with  congratulatory  phrases  from  their  own  tongue  : 
"  Very  glad  see  you  !  Dash  your  eyes  !  Me  like  English  very  much.  Devil- 
ish hot,  sir  !  Goddam."  Nor  must  we  forget  the  disastrous  attempt  of  the 
British  to  colonize  the  Isthmus  of  Darien.  The  expedition  carried  a  goodly 
company  of  clergymen  to  convert  the  heathen  natives,  for  it  was  intended 
that  Christianity  should  consecrate  commerce.  But  the  colony  proved  a 
commercial  and  theological  failure,  and  the  colonists  left  behind  them  no 
mark  that  baptized  and  godly  men  had  set  foot  on  Darien  save  the  great 
national  oath,  which  from  its  frequent  reiteration  had  caught  the  ear  and  been 
retained  in  the  memory  of  the  native  population. 

Beaumarchais,  in  the  "  Mariage  de  Figaro,"  laughingly  extols  the  beauty 
and  compactness  of  the  English  language  :  "  You  only  need  one  expression. 
Goddam  ;  that  will  carry  you  through."  He  acknowledges  that  there  are  other 
words  used  occasionally  by  the  English  in  conversation,  but  the  substance 
and  depth  of  the  language  are  in  that  magical  oath.  Lord  Byron  corrobo- 
rates Beaumarchais  : 

Juan,  who  did  not  understand  a  word 

Of  English,  save  their  shibboleth  "  God  damn  !" 

And  even  that  he  had  so  rarely  heard. 

He  sometimes  thought  'twas  only  their  "  salam," 

Or  "  God  be  with  you  !"  and  'tis  not  absurd 
To  think  so,  for,  half  English  as  I  am 

(To  my  misfortune),  never  can  I  say 

I  heard  them  wish  "  God  with  you"  save  that  way. 

Don  Juan,  Canto  xi..  Stanza  12. 

Yet,  in  spite  of  this  world  testimony  to  the  peculiarly  national  character  of 
this  oath,  Mr.  Julian  Sharman  would  rob  the  British  of  the  glory  of  origi- 
nality. He  would  have  us  believe  that  the  expression  is  corrupted  from  the 
dame-Dieii  (dame  de  Dieu,  "  lady"  or  "  Mother  of  God")  which  the  soldiers 
of  Henry  V.  heard  continually  on  the  lips  of  the  French  soldiery,  but  that,  as 
the  word  Dieu  was  a  phonetic  poser,  they  were  "  forced  to  Anglicize  it  to  fit  it 
to  the  remainder  of  the  oath."  This  is  a  good  specimen  of  perverse  ingenuity. 
It  is  absurdly  unlikely  that  English  soldiers  carefully  put  the  cart  before  the 
horse  and  exchanged  their  native  tongue  for  a  foreign  one  in  those  very  mo- 
ments of  anger  or  excitement  when  language  is  apt  to  be  most  racy  and 
natural.  Besides,  they  already  had  the  oath  "  Mother  of  God ;"  why  ex- 
change it  for  the  feebler  God-dame  or  God-mother  ? 

A  more  odious  formula  of  strong  language,  the  adjective  "bloody,"  is 
also  traced  by  Mr.  Sharman  to  a  foreign  source,  to  the  Holland  bloedig  (Ger- 
man blutig),  which  Ben  Jonson  and  his  fellows  brought  back  with  them  from 
their  "  Low-Country  soldiering"  in  Holland.  Unfortunately  for  this  theory, 
neither  Ben  Jonson  nor  any  of  his  contemporaries  uses  the  word  as  an  exple- 
tive. It  was  not  till  the  days  of  Dryden  and  Swift  that  it  appeared  in  literature 
or  on  the  stage.  Swift  uses  it  with  a  beautiful  impartiality :  in  one  place, 
"  It  grows  bloody  cold,  and  I  have  no  waistcoat,"  and  in  another,  having 
walked  from  London  to  Chelsea  in  his  gown,  "  It  was  bloody  hot."  The 
word,  in  fact,  was  a  "  swagger"  one  in  those  days  before  it  penetrated  to  the 
lowest  strata  of  society  and  ousted  from  the  streets  almost  every  other 
adjective.  A  well-known  story  tells  of  a  bargee  running  with  the  boats  at 
Oxford  and  shouting,  "  Hooray  !  hooray  !  hoo-bloody-rayV'  Max  O'Rell,  in 
"John  Bull  and  his  Island,"  quotes  an  English  workman  as  saying,  "  I  told 
my  bloody  master  that  he  only  gave  me  a  bloody  sovereign  every  bloody 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  835 

week,  and  that  I  wanted  five  bloody  shillings  more.  He  said  he  had  not  the 
bloody  time  to  listen  to  my  bloody  complaints."  He  is  rather  inclined  to 
favor  the  etymology  which  makes  it  a  corruption  of  the  hfr  lady  of  Shake- 
speare's day.  But  Murray  sees  in  it  a  reference  to  the  habits  of  the  "  bloods" 
or  swells  of  the  eighteenth  century.  Bloody  drunk — as  drunk  as  a  blood — 
was  probably  its  first  appearance.  Gradually  its  apparent  association  with 
bloodshed  and  murder  recommended  its  use  to  the  rougher  class  as  an  ad- 
jective that  appealed  to  their  imagination. 

During  the  time  of  the  Commonwealth  some  effort  was  made  to  suppress 
profane  swearing.  But  the  Restoration  brought  back  an  unbridled  license 
of  tongue.  Macaulay  tells  us  that,  in  order  to  spite  the  Puritans,  "the  new 
breed  of  wits  and  fine  gentlemen  never  opened  their  mouths  without  uttering 
ribaldry  of  which  a  porter  would  now  be  ashamed,  and  without  calling  on 
their  Maker  to  curse  them,  sink  them,  confound  them,  blast  them,  and  damn 
them."  Nor  was  the  habit  checked  or  impeded  by  the  "glorious  Revolution 
of  1688."  The  plays  and  novels  and  the  gossip  of  the  period  prove  that  pro- 
fanity was  quite  an  ordinary  exercise  of  the  English  lungs.  It  did  not  much 
matter  whether  those  lungs  were  placed  in  a  male  or  a  female  breast.  Sarah, 
Duchess  of  Marlborough,  calling  on  an  eminent  judge  and  finding  him  ab- 
sent, departed  in  a  flurry  of  vituperative  indignation  without  leaving  her  name. 
The  servant  could  only  report  to  the  judge  on  his  return  that  the  visitor  had 
not  mentioned  her  name,  but  that  "she  swore  like  a  lady  of  quality."  The 
armies  which  swore  so  "terribly  in  Flanders,"  according  to  Uncle  Toby's  re- 
port, were  English  troops  engaged  in  the  siege  of  Namur  in  1693.  Con- 
greve's  "  Old  Bachelor,"  produced  in  that  very  year,  fairly  bristles  with  oaths. 
Not  only  has  it  all  the  common  blasphemies,  but  a  number  of  new  refine- 
ments. Thus,  "  zounds"  becomes  "  00ns,"  "  God's  blood"  becomes  "  ads- 
blud,"  and  the  Shakespearian  "'Slid,"  "adslidikins."  Then  we  have  "O 
Lord,"  "  By  the  Lord  Harry,"  "  Gad,"  "  Egad,"  "  Gadsobs,"  "  Gadszooks" 
or  "  Odszooks"  ("  God's  looks"),  and  the  puerile  "  Gad's  daggers,  beets,  blades, 
and  scabbards."  "  By  the  Mass"  becomes  "  By  the  Mess,"  or  simply  "  Mess." 
In  this,  as  in  the  various  substitutions  of  Gad  for  God,  we  see  the  mincing 
pronunciation  affected  by  the  dandies  and  loungers  of  the  period,  who  turned 
o  into  a  and  a  into  e. 

In  Sheridan's  "Trip  to  Scarborough"  (first  acted  in  1777)  we  have  Lord 
Foppington  rapping  out  a  number  of  new  oaths.  "  Death  and  eternal  tor- 
tures, sir,"  he  cries  to  his  tailor,  "  I  say  the  coat  is  too  wide  here  by  a  foot ! 
.  >  .  As  Gad  shall  jedge  me,  it  hangs  on  my  shoulders  like  a  chairman's  sur- 
tout !"  ''  Stap  my  vitals,"  however,  is  his  favorite  adjuration.  Bob  Acres' 
"genteel  style"  of  oaths  is,  of  course,  a  mere  burlesque.  Its  specialty  is  that 
it  adapts  itself  to  the  subject  in  hand  :  "  Ods  whips  and  wheels,  I've  travelled 
like  a  comet !"  "  Odds  blushes  and  blooms,  she  has  been  as  healthy  as  the 
German  Spa !"  "  Odds  minims  and  crotchets,  how  she  did  chirrup  at  Mrs. 
Piano's  concert !" 

But  we  do  not  need  the  evidence  of  fiction  and  the  drama  to  prove  that 
until  quite  recent  times  hard  swearing  was  a  sign  of  good  breeding.  Lord 
Chancellor  Thurlow  swore  from  the  wool-sack.  When  a  certain  bishop, 
claiming  the  right  of  presentation  to  an  ancient  benefice,  sent  his  secretary  to 
argue  the  point,  Thurlow  cut  the  latter  short.  "Give  my  compliments  to  his 
lordship,"  he  said,  "and  tell  him  I  will  see  him  damned  before  he  presents." 
"That,"  remonstrated  the  secretary,  "is  a  very  unpleasant  message  to  de- 
liver to  a  bishop."  "  You  are  right,"  said  Thurlow  ;  "  it  is.  Tell  him  I'll  see 
myself  damned  before  he  presents."  Almost  as  pointed  was  the  rejoinder  of 
King  William's  attorney-general  to  the  American  clergyman  who  had  crossed 
the  Atlantic  to  solicit  alms  for  a  pious  foundation  in  Virginia.     "  Sir,"  urged 


S3^  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

the  petitioner,  "  the  people  in  Virginia  have  souls  to  be  saved  as  well  as  their 
brethren  in  England."  "  Souls  !"  cried  the  attorney-general.  "  Damn  your 
souls  !     Make  tobacco  !" 

At  present  swearing  as  a  fine  art  has  gone  out  of  fashion  in  Anglo-Saxon 
countries.  Men  practise  profanity  among  themselves,  but  not  in  general 
society.  And  even  in  exclusively  male  society  it  is  tabooed  by  the  belter 
classes.  To  be  sure,  many  of  our  common  adjurations  which  are  not  usually 
classed  as  profanity  are  corruptions  of  the  mouth-filling  oaths  of  the  past. 
"Egad"  and  "zounds"  are  still  heard  among  English  gentlemen,  who  prob- 
ably have  no  thought  of  their  etymological  meaning.  The  mother  who,  when 
scolding  her  child,  says  "  plague  you"  or  "drat  you"  does  not  know  or  care  to 
know  that  those  expressions  are  elliptical  for  "  God  plague  you"  and  "  God 
rot  you."  "  Lord,"  "  O  Lordy,"  and  "  Good  Lord"  are  undoubted  adjurations 
of  the  Almighty.  "Darn"  is  a  mere  vulgarization  of  "damn,"  as  "Gosh" 
and  "Golly"  are  of  "God."  "Confound  you"  is  but  a  truncated  form  of 
"  May  God  confound  you,"  as  the  servantgalism  "  My  !"  or  "  Oh,  my  !"  is  a 
truncated  form  of  invocation  of  the  Deity.  "Jingo"  is  the  Basque  name  for 
the  Deity.  "  Dickens"  is  a  contraction  for  "devilkins."  "  Deuce"  is  a  cor- 
ruption of  the  Latin  "  Deus"  (God).  The  Irish  "be  jabers"  is  a  mere  soften- 
ing of  "be  Jasus"  or  "Jesus,"  and  the  harmless  words  "Jove"  and  "Gemini" 
(or  "  Jimminy")  have  only  grown  into  favor  through  their  faint  yet  sufficient 
resemblance  in  sound  to  the  same  sacred  name.  Nay,  the  commonest  of  all  ex- 
pressions, the  familiar  household  phrase  "  Dear  me  !"  is  in  all  probability  a  cor- 
ruption of  the  Italian  "  Dio  mio  !"  ("My  God  !")  an  exclamation  which  is  still 
used  by  Italian  men,  women,  and  children  of  all  ranks  in  society  with  quite  as 
little  intention  of  profanity  as  English  and  Americans  put  into  their  "  Dear  me  !" 

To  an  Anglo-Saxon,  indeed,  the  frequent  appeal  to  God's  name  in  the 
countries  of  Continental  Europe  is  astonishing  at  least,  if  not  shocking.  The 
young  American  girl  who,  shortly  after  her  arrival  in  Germany,  went  down 
into  the  kitchen  and  asked  the  cook  if  she  had  put  on  the  potatoes,  retreated 
with  horror  when  the  cook  laughingly  replied,  "O  thou  great  God,  of  course 
I  have,  miss."  In  Germany  they  probably  ring  more  changes  upon  the  name 
of  the  Divinity  than  in  any  other  country.  It  is  either  "O  Gott !"  ("O 
God  !")  "  Mein  Gott !"  ("  My  God  !")  "  Herr  Gott !"  ("  Lord  God  !")  "  Grosser 
Gott!"  ("Great  God  !")  "Du  lieberGott !"  ("Thou  dear  God  !")  "  Allmacht'ger 
Gott!"  ("Almighty  God  !"),  or  "Gott"  without  any  qualifying  adjective.  In 
France  "  Dieu,"  "  Mon  Dieu,"  "  Bon  Dieu,"  "  Grand  Dieu,"  are  used  with  the 
same  frequency  as,  and  have  about  the  force  of,  our  "goodness  gracious."  A 
trifle  n^ore  intensity  is  thrown  into  the  French  phrase  "  Sacre  nom  de  Dieu'' 
("Sacred  name  of  God"),  especially  when  the  stress  of  the  voice  is  placed 
upon  the  syllable  ere  with  a  gradual  decrescendo  to  the  end. 

An  ingenious  and  kindly  French  curate,  deploring  the  excessive  use  of 
theological  terminology  in  social  life,  yet  recognizing  the  needs  of  suffering 
or  excited  humanity,  recently  proposed  a  scheme  of  reformation.  It  is  not 
original,  but  is  evidently  based  upon  the  illustrious  precedent  set  by  Coton  in 
his  "jarnicoton."  Why  not  choose  a  number  of  sonorous  and  mouth-filling 
words  from  general  literature  or  history  ?  As  the  Latin  races  want  a  good 
deal  of  rolling  r's  in  their  sonority,  he  suggests  Sardanapalus,  Caractacus,  or 
Crepuscule.  "  Repeat  these  or  other  words  till  they  come  to  you  naturally," 
says  the  good  Abbe  Icart,  "  and  you  will  never  think  of  reverting  to  old- 
fashioned  blasphemies."  The  new  method  needs  a  good  deal  of  practice. 
Like  Demosthenes,  its  votaries  should  first  seek  some  secluded  shore  of 
the  sea,  and  hurl  the  words  "  Crrrepuscule  !"  "  Sarrrdanapale  !"  or  "  Milie 
noms  d'un  rrrat !"  at  the  incoming  waves.  When  they  deem  themselves 
perfect,  they  may  venture  back  into  general  society. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  837 

Unhappily,  many  people  feel  that  an  oath  quite  devoid  of  supernatural 
sanction  is  like  a  temperance  substitute  for  alcoholic  drinks.  Total  abstinence 
seems  to  be  the  only  true  alternative,  and  really  it  is  not  a  bit  more  difficult 
than  the  good  abbe's  scheme. 

Oats,  To  feel  one's,  in  American  slang,  to  be  lively,  frisky,  bumptious,  or 
quarrelsome  ;  a  metaphor  evidently  derived  from  the  stable.  When  a  horse 
is  well  fed  and  in  good  condition  he  feels  his  oats. 

Observation  vyith  extensive  view.  Johnson's  "Vanity  of  Human 
Wishes"  opens  with  the  well-known  lines, — 

Let  observation  with  extensive  view 
Survey  manl<iiid  from  China  to  Peru. 

De  Quincey,  in  his  essay  on  "  Rhetoric,"  recalls  "a  little  biographic  sketch 
of  Dr.  Johnson,  published  immediately  after  his  death,"  wherein  the  author 
quotes  these  lines  as  an  instance  of  desperate  tautology,  "and  contends  with 
some  reason  that  this  is  saying  in  effect,  '  Let  observation  with  extensive  ob- 
servation observe  mankind  extensively.'  "  Nor  have  the  lines  even  the  saving 
grace  of  originality.  The  phrase  "  from  China  to  Peru"  appears  to  be  a  sug- 
gestion from  a  contemporary  : 

The  wonders  of  each  region  view, 
From  frozen  Lapland  to  Peru. 

SoAME  Jenvns  :  Epistle  to  Lord  Lovelace  (1735). 

Steele,  in  his  prologue  to  Ambrose  Philips's  "Distressed  Mother,"  has, — 

'Tis  nothing,  when  a  fancied  scene's  in  view, 
To  skip  from  Covent  Garden  to  Peru, 

and  Thomas  Warton,  in  his  "Universal  Love  of  Pleasure," — 

All  human  race,  from  China  to  Peru, 
Pleasure,  howe'er  disguised  by  art,  pursue. 

Occam's  razor,  the  maxim  of  William  of  Occam,  who  was  noted  for 
the  hair-splitting  logic  with  which  he  dissected  every  question.  In  the  con- 
troversy between  Nominalism  and  Realism,  which,  loosely  speaking,  was  a 
dispute  whether  the  names  of  things  were  merely  symbols  or  whether  they 
implied  a  separate  existence  in  themselves,  the  rule  was  laid  down  by  the 
Nominalists  that  "  Entia  non  sunt  multiplicanda  praster  necessitatem," — i.e.. 
Entities  are  not  to  be  multiplied  beyond  what  is  necessary.  The  axiom  be- 
came known  as  Occam's  razor  ;  but  it  is  stated  that  Occam  never  made  use 
of  the  formula  which  thus  bears  his  name. 

Ocean.  Roll  on,  thou  deep  and  dark-blue  ocean,  roll!  Perhaps 
the  most  popular  and  best-remembered  passage  in  all  Byron  is  that  invoca- 
tion to  the  ocean  with  which  he  concludes  the  fourth  and  last  canto  of  "  Childe 
Harold's  Pilgrimage."  Christopher  North,  in  a  long  and  labored  critique, 
sought  vainly  to  turn  it  into  ridicule.  Matthew  Arnold  and  other  later  critics 
have  vainly  expressed  a  mild  and  gentlemanly  contempt  for  it.  The  public 
Still  retains  it  in  its  heart.     The  openmg  stanza  (clxxix.)  runs  as  follows  : 

Roll  on,  thou  deep  and  dark -blue  ocean,  roll ! 

Ten  thousand  fleets  sweep  over  thee  in  vain  ; 

Man  marks  the  earth  with  ruin, — his  control 

Stops  with  the  shore  :  upon  the  watery  plain 

The  wrecks  are  all  thy  deeds,  nor  doth  remain 

A  shadow  of  man's  ravage,  save  his  own. 

When  for  a  moment,  lik'e  a  drop  of  rain. 

He  sinks  into  thy  depths  with  bubbling  groan. 
Without  a  grave,  unknell'd,  uncofifin'd,  and  unknown. 

The  general  thought  of  the  stanza  has  some  affiliation  with  George  Chap- 


838  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

His  deeds  inimitable,  like  the  sea 

That  shuts  still  as  it  opes,  and  leaves  no  tracts 

Nor  prints  of  precedent  for  poor  men's  facts. 

Bussy  D'  Atiibois,  Act  i.,  Sc.  i. 

The  last  line  may  be  a  reminiscence  of  Scott, — 
Shall  go  down 
To  the  vile  dust  from  whence  he  sprung. 
Unwept,  unhonored,  and  unsung, 

Lay  0/ the  Last  Minstrel ; 

which  in  its  turn  is  borrowed  from  the  line  in  Pope's  "  Iliad  :" 
Unwept,  unhonored,  uninterred  he  lies. 

Book  xxii.,  1.  484. 

Stanza  clxxx.  concludes  with  an  ugly  lapse  in  grammar : 

And  dashest  him  again  to  earth  :— there  let  him  lay. 
It  has  been  conjectured  that  Byron  wrote  stay  in  lieu  of  lay,  which  would  be 
a  gain  in  correctness  at  the  expense  of  force. 

In  stanza  clxxxii.  there  is  a  famous  disputed  passage  : 

Thy  shores  are  empires,  changed  in  all  save  thee  : 
Assyria,  Greece,  Rome,  Carthage,  what  are  they? 
Thy  waters  wasted  them  while  they  were  free. 
And  many  a  tyrant  since  ;  their  shores  obey 
The  stranger,  slave,  or  savage  ;  their  decay 
Has  dried  up  realms  to  deserts  : — not  so  thou. 
Unchangeable  save  to  thy  wild  waves'  play — 
"Time  writes  no  wrinkle  on  thine  azure  brow — 
Such  as  creation's  dawn  beheld,  thou  roUest  now. 

The  expression  about  the  waters  and  the  tyrants  wasting  the  shores  is  awk- 
ward, at  least,  if  not  absurd.  Byron,  who  had  not  read  the  proofs,  confessed 
in  the  presence  of  print  that  he  hardly  knew  what  it  meant.  A  change  of 
punctuation  has  been  suggested, — 

And  many  a  tyrant  since  their  shores  obey — 
The  stranger,  slave,  or  savage — their  decay,  etc. 

But  a  neater  conjecture  is  that  Byron  meant  to  write  "  washed  them  power 
while  they  were  free,"  and  omitted  the  word  "  power."  Thereupon  "  washed" 
was  read  "  wasted,"  for  the  sake  both  of  the  sense  and  of  the  metre. 

It  is  not  impossible  that  the  stanza  may  be  a  reminiscence  of  Johnson's 
observation  to  General  Paoli,  as  chronicled  by  Boswell :  "The  grand  object 
of  all  travelling  is  to  see  the  shores  of  the  Mediterranean.  On  these  shores 
were  the  four  great  empires  of  the  world, — the  Assyrian,  the  Persian,  the 
Grecian,  and  the  Roman.  All  our  religion,  almost  all  our  law,  almost  all  our 
arts,  almost  all  that  sets  us  above  savages,  has  come  to  us  from  the  shores  of 
the  Mediterranean."  The  general  thereupon  remarked  that  "The  Mediter- 
ranean would  be  a  noble  subject  for  a  poem." 

But  if  Byron  imitated,  he  has  in  turn  been  imitated.  Lord  Macaulay  was 
the  first  to  point  out  a  very  stupid  bit  of  plagiarism  by  Robert  Montgomery. 
"  We  never  fell  in,"  says  Macaulay,  "with  any  blunderer  who  so  little  under- 
stood how  to  turn  his  booty  to  good  account  as  Mr.  Montgomery.  Lord 
Byron,  in  a  passage  which  everybody  knows  by  heart,  has  said,  addressing 
the  sea, — 

Time  writes  no  wrinkle  on  thine  azure  brow. 

Mr.  Robert  Montgomery  very  coolly  appropriates  the  image  and  reproduces 
the  stolen  goods  in  the  following  form  :  . 

And  thou,  vast  Ocean,  on  whose  awful  face 

Time's  iron  feet  can  print  no  ruin-trace. 

So  may  such  ill-got  goods  ever  prosper  J" 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  839 

Stanza  clxxxiv.,  the  last  stanza  of  the  invocation,  runs  as  follows  : 
And  I  have  loved  thee,  Ocean  !  and  my  joy 
Of  youthful  sports  was  on  thy  breast  to  be 
Borne,  like  thy  bubbles,  onward  ;  from  a  boy 
I  wanton'd  with  thy  breakers — they  to  me 
Were  a  delight ;   and  if  the  freshening  sea 
Made  them  a  terror,  'twas  a  pleasing  fear. 
For  I  was  as  it  were  a  child  of  thee. 
And  trusted  to  thy  billows  far  and  near, 
And  laid  my  hand  upon  thy  mane — as  I  do  here. 

Pollok,  in  his  "  Course  of  Time,"  has  evidently — indeed,  avowedly— bor- 
rowed the  last  figure : 

He  laid  his  hand  upon  "  the  ocean's  mane," 
And  played  familiar  with  his  hoary  locks. 

Book  iv.,  1.  389. 

Odds  and  Ends,  small  miscellaneous  articles,  scraps,  leavings.  An  effort 
has  been  made  to  prove  that  odds  is  a  corruption  of  orts, — i.e.,  fragments, — a 
word  frequent  in  Elizabethan  literature, 

Let  him  have  time  a  beggar's  orts  to  crave, 

Shakespeare  :  Lucrece,  1.  985  ; 

Hang  thee,  thou  parasite,  thou  son  of  crumbs 
And  orts ! 

Ben  Jonson  :  New  Inn,  Act  v.,  Sc.  i, 

and  still  locally  surviving  both  in  England  and  in  America.  W.  W.  Skeat, 
in  his  "Chaucer,"  p.  185,  thinks  the  phrase  was  originally  "  ord  and  ende," — . 
i.e.,  beginning  and  end.  Either  suggestion  is  plausible.  Yet  there  seems  no 
reason  to  be  dissatisfied  with  the  face  value  of  the  words,  whose  meaning  is 
sufficiently  intelligible. 

Ohio  Idea.  During  the  Greenback  agitation  for  an  unredeemable  paper 
currency,  public  opinion  in  the  State  of  Ohio  was  permeated  by  the  heresy. 
Many  of  her  statesmen  held  what  were  believed  to  be  unsound  views  on  the 
money  question,  wherefore  the  fiscal  policy  advocated  by  them  was  some- 
times called  the  Ohio  Idea,  although  it  should  not  be  understood  that  its 
spread  was  confined  to  this  State.  Long  before,  in  the  transatlantic  mind, 
at  least,  Ohio  had  been  associated  with  financial  irresponsibility,  as  in  the 
once-famous  stanza, — 

Of  all  the  States  'tis  hard  to  say 

Which  makes  the  proudest  show,  sirs ; 
But  Yankee  Doodle  likes  the  best 
The  State  of  "  Oh  !  I  owe,"  sirs  ! 
The  squib  of  which  this  is  a  portion  was  inspired  by  Sydney  Smith's  im- 
passioned denunciations  of  Pennsylvania  repudiation  and  entitled  "  A  New 
Song  to  an  Old  Tune."     It  first  appeared  in  the  Literary  Gazette  in  England, 
January  18,  1845,  over  the  signature  of  "  Cecil  Harbottle."   The  lines  begin, — 

Yankee  Doodle  borrows  cash, 

Yankee  Doodle  spends  it. 
And  then  he  snaps  his  fingers  at 

The  jolly  flat  that  lends  it. 

Oil  upon  the  troubled  ■waters,  a  common  metaphor  used  of  all  efforts 
to  allay  commotion  of  any  kind  by  smooth  words  of  peace.  Its  origin  is  lost 
in  obscurity.  But  the  physical  phenomenon  on  which  it  is  based  was  known 
to  the  ancients,  and  is  mentioned  in  Pliny's  "  Natural  History,"  i.  2,  c.  103.  The 
Venerable  Bede,  in  his  "Ecclesiastical  History"  (731  A.D.),  tells  of  a  priest 
called  Vtta  who  was  sent  into  Kent  to  fetch  Eanflede,  King  Edwine's 
daughter,  who  was  to  be  married  to  King  Oswirra.  He  was  to  go  by  land, 
but  to  return  by  water.     Before  his  departure  Vtta  visited  Bishop  Aidan,  who 


840  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

had  the  reputation  of  performing  miracles,  and  besought  his  prayers  for  a 
prosperous  journey.  The  bishop  blessed  him,  and,  predicting  for  his  return 
a  great  tempest  and  a  contrary  wind  that  should  rise  suddenly,  gave  him  a 
pot  of  oil,  saying,  "  Remember  that  you  cast  into  the  sea  this  oyle  that  I  give 
you,  and  anon,  the  winds  being  laied,  comfortable  fayer  weather  shall  ensue 
on  the  sea,  which  shall  send  you  againe  with  as  pleasaunt  a  passage  as  you 
have  wished." 

The  tempest  came  as  predicted.  The  sailors  essayed  to  cast  anchor,  but 
in  vain  ;  the  water  began  to  fill  the  ship,  and  "  nothing  but  present  death 
was  looked  for."  At  the  near  approach  of  death  came  the  thought  of  the 
bishop  and  the  pot  of  oil.  Taking  it  in  his  hand,  the  priest  cast  of  the  oil 
into  the  sea,  when,  as  if  by  magic,  it  became  quiet  and  calm,  and  the  ship 
was  delivered. 

Bede  declares  that  he  had  it  from  "a  very  creditable  man,  a  priest  of  our 
church,  Cymmund  by  name,  who  saied  that  he  had  heard  it  of  Vtta,  the  priest 
in  whom  the  miracle  was  wrought." 

Modern  experiments  have  demonstrated  that  this  was  no  miracle,  and  the 
scene  no  doubt  occurred. 

Oil,  "With  (F.,  "  Avec  I'huile").  Fontenelle,  the  celebrated  French  author, 
is  said  to  have  been  very  partial  to  asparagus  dressed  in  oil.  A  certain  abbe 
dining  with  him  one  day  preferred  this  favorite  esculent  dressed  with  butter, 
so  it  was  decided  that  the  dish  of  asparagus  which  was  preparing  should  be 
dressed  half  with  butter  and  half  with  oil.  A  short  time  before  dinner  was 
ready  the  abbe  was  attacked  by  an  apoplectic  fit,  on  which  Fontenelle  rushed 
to  the  cook,  and  cried  out,  "  All  with  oil !  all  with  oil  !"  The  phrase  has 
passed  into  a  popular  saying.     But  the  story  has  no  historical  basis. 

Old,  Praise  of  the.  Lord  Bacon  reminds  us  that  "  Alonso  of  Aragon  was 
wont  to  say  in  commendation  of  age,  that  age  appears  to  be  best  in  four 
things, — old  wood  best  to  burn,  old  wine  to  drink,  old  friends  to  trust,  and 
old  authors  to  read."  {.Apothegms,  No.  97  )  The  sentiment  is  thus  reported 
by  another  authority  :  "Old  wood  to  burn  !  Old  wine  to  drink  !  Old  friends 
to  trust !  Old  authors  to  read  ! — Alonso  of  Aragon  was  wont  to  say  in  com- 
mendation of  age,  that  age  appeared  to  be  best  in  these  four  things." 
(Melchior  :    Floresta  Espahola  de  Apothegmas  6  Setitetuias,  etc.,  ii.  i,  20.) 

The  phrase  has  often  been  imitated.     Here  are  a  few  instances : 

Is  not  old  wine  wholesomest,  old  pippins  toothsomest,  old  wood  burns  brightest,  old  linen 
■wash  whitest  ?  Old  soldiers,  sweetheart,  are  surest,  and  old  lovers  are  soundest. — Webster  : 
Westivard  Ho,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  2. 

Old  friends  are  best.  King  James  used  to  call  for  his  old  shoes  ;  they  were  easiest  for  his 
feet.— Selden  :   Table-Talk :  Friends. 

What  find  you  better  or  more  honorable  than  age?  Take  the  preheminence  of  it  in  every- 
thing,—in  an  old  friend,  in  old  wine,  in  an  old  pedigree. — Shakekley  Marmion  (1602- 
1639) :    The  Antiquary . 

I  love  ever>-thing  that's  old,— old  friends,  old  times,  old  manners,  old  books,  old  wine.— 
Goldsmith  :  She  Stoops  to  Conquer,  Act  i. 

Chaucer  has  not  only  a  similar  thought  but  also  an  explanation  thereof: 

For  out  of  the  old  fieldes,  as  men  saithe, 
Cometh  al  this  new  corne  fro  yere  to  yere ; 
And  out  of  old  bookes,  in  good  faithe, 
Cometh  al  this  new  science  that  men  lere. 

The  Assembly  0/  Fo'Mles,  1.  22. 

The  assumed  superiority  of  age  over  youth  is  rather  neatly  put  by  Chap- 
man : 

Young  men  think  old  men  are  fools :  but  old  men  know  young  men  are  fools. — All  Fools, 
Actv.Sc.  1.  '       ^ 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  841 

Ray,  in  liis  "  Proverbs,"  tells  us  that  this  is  quoted  by  Camden  as  a  saying 
of  one  Dr.  Metcalf.  "It  is  now  in  many  people's  mouths,"  Ray  adds,  "and 
likely  to  pass  into  a  proverb."  On  the  other  hand,  poets  at  least  are  agreed 
that  the  gray  hairs  of  wisdom  are  a  poor  exchange  for  the  foolish  halo  of 
youth : 

There's  not  a  joy  the  world  can  give  like  that  it  takes  away. 
When  the  glow  of  early  thought  declines  in  feeling's  dull  decay ; 
'Tis  not  on  youth's  smooth  cheek  the  blush  alone  which  fades  so  fast. 
But  the  tender  bloom  of  heart  is  gone,  ere  youth  itself  be  past. 

Byron  :  Stanzas  for  Music. 
Or  again,  from  the  same  poet : 

Years  steal 
Fire  from  the  mind  as  vigor  from  the  limb. 
And  life's  enchanted  cup  but  sparkles  near  the  brim. 

Childe  Harold,  Canto  iii.,  Stanza  8. 

Old  Abe,  a  popular  sobriquet  of  President  Abraham  Lincoln  ;  sometimes 
also  "  Honest  Old  Abe"  and  "  Father  Abraham."  The  refrain  to  a  popular 
song  has  reference  to  the  President's  call  for  five  hundred  thousand  volunteers 
for  the  civil  war  : 

We  are  coming,  Father  Abraham,  five  hundred  thousand  more. 

Old  Bullion,  a  sobriquet  of  Colonel  Thomas  Hart  Benton  (1782-1S58),  a 
distinguished  American  statesman,  given  to  him  for  his  persistent  advocacy  of  a 
gold  and  silver  currency  as  the  only  true  remedy  for  the  financial  embarrass- 
ment prevailing  after  the  expiration  of  the  charter  and  closing  of  the  United 
States  Bank  in  1833. 

Old  Colony,  a  popular  appellation  for  that  part  of  Massachusetts  included 
in  the  original  limits  of  the  Plymouth  Colony,  which  was  older  than  the  colony 
of  Massachusetts  Bay.  The  two  colonies  were  united  into  one  province,  bear- 
ing the  name  of  the  latter,  in  1692.  But  the  term  is  now  a  sobriquet  iox  the 
entire  State. 

Old  Dominion,  a  popular  soh>iqiiet  for  the  State  of  Virginia.  In  the 
early  days  of  English  colonizing,  Virginia,  as  the  first,  was  a  generic  term  for 
all  their  New  World  settlements.  Thus,  in  Captain  John  Smith's  "  History  of 
Virginia"  (edition  of  1629)  a  map  of  the  settlements  of  Virginia  includes  New 
England  and  other  British  colonies.  The  present  State  of  Virginia  is  there 
called  Ould  Virginia,  while  the  New  England  Colony  is  called  New  Virginia. 
Thus  the  epithet  old  is  accounted  for.  From  the  settlement  of  the  colony  to 
the  outbreak  of  the  Revolution  every  official  document  designates  Virginia  as 
"the  Colony  and  Dominion  of  Virginia."  Spenser  dedicates  his  "Faerie 
Queene"  to  Elizabeth,  "Queen  of  England,  France,  and  Ireland,  and  Sover- 
eign of  the  Dominion  of  Virginia."  Here  we  have  the  other  word  of  the 
sobriquet.  Another  explanation  asserts  that  the  precise  title  Old  Dominion 
was  bestowed  on  the  State  by  Charles  II.  Virginia  had  refused  to  recognize 
Cromwell  and  the  protectorate,  and  after  the  execution  of  Charles  I.  trans- 
ferred its  allegiance  to  Charles  II.,  then  in  exile  on  the  Continent.  The  gov- 
ernor. Sir  William  Berkeley,  even  wrote  to  the  royal  refugee,  inviting  him  to 
come  over  to  his  loyal  subjects  as  their  king.  Cromwell  sent  a  fleet  against 
the  recalcitrant  province,  which  yielded  under  protest  to  superior  force.  But 
as  soon  as  the  news  of  Cromwell's  death  arrived  Charles  II.  was  solemnly 
proclaimed  King  of  Great  Britain,  Ireland,  and  Virginia.  All  writs  and  pro- 
cesses were  issued  in  his  name.  He  was  therefore  de  facto  King  of  Virginia 
before  he  had  begun  to  reign  at  home  de  jure.  So  far  the  facts  are  historic 
and  cannot  be  gainsaid.  In  gratitude  for  this  loyalty,  it  is  further  said,  Chajrles 
caused  the  arms  of  Virginia  to  be  quartered  with  those  of  England,  Ireland, 

2L  71 


842  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

and  Scotland,  as  a  distinct  portion  of  the  Old  Dominion.    They  certainly  thus 
appear  on  English  coins  struck  as  late  as  1773,  by  order  of  George  III. 

Old  Fritz  (Ger.  "  Uer  Alte  Fritz"),  a  popular  sobriquet  of  Frederick  the 
Great,  King  of  Prussia  (1712-1786).  In  Germany  he  is  hardly  ever  referred 
to  by  any  other  name  to  this  day. 

Old  Lady  of  Threadneedle  Street,  a  popular  designation  for  the  Bank 
of  England,  the  site  of  whose  buildings  is  on  the  London  street  of  that  name. 

Old  Line  State,  a  sobriquet  for  Maryland,  because  of  the  boundary-line, 
known  as  Mason  and  Dixon's  line  {q.v.),  between  it  and  Pennsylvania.  Its 
]3eople  are  often  named  Crawthumpers,  which  is  also  a  generic  nickname  for 
Roman  Catholics,  from  the  beating  of  their  breasts  at  certain  religious  devo- 
tions, as.when  they  recite  the  "  Domine,  non  sum  dignus,"  or  the  "  Mea  culpa, 
mea  culpa,  mea  maxima  culpa." 

Old  Line  Whig,  in  American  politics  (1840-1852)  a  name  for  the  un- 
progressive,  conservative  element  of  that  party. 

Old  maids'  children  are,  proverbially,  the  best  instructed  and  best 
brought  up,  just  as,  according  to  the  same  authority,  bachelors'  wives  are  the 
most  docile  and  obedient.  "  He  that  has  no  wife  chastises  her  well  ;  he  that 
has  no  children  rears  them  well,"  say  the  Italians.  "Every  man  can  tame  a 
shrew  but  he  that  hath  her,"  is  an  English  saw.  Trench  records  a  proverb 
current  in  Munster  :  "The  man  on  the  dike  always  hurls  well," — the  looker- 
on  at  a  game  of  hurling,  seated  indolently  on  the  wall,  always  imagines  that 
he  could  improve  on  the  strokes  of  the  actual  players,  and,  if  you  will  listen  to 
him,  would  have  played  the  game  much  better  than  they.  In  the  same  sense 
the  Connaught  men  say,  "The  best  horseman  is  always  on  his  feet."  So  the 
Dutch  say,  "The  best  pilots  stand  on  shore,"  and  the  English,  "In  a  calm 
sea  every  man  is  a  pilot." 

Old  Man  Eloquent,  a  popular  sobriquet  of  John   Quincy  Adams,  sixth 
President  of  the   United   States.     In   English  literary  history  the  term  had 
already  been  applied  to  Coleridge.     But  Milton,  the  originator  of  the  phrase, 
applied  it  to  Isocrates,  who  died  of  grief  after  the  battle  of  Chaeronea,  where 
Philip  of  Macedon  defeated  the  combined  armies  of  Thebes  and  Athens  : 
When  that  dishonest  victory 
At  Chjeronea,  fatal  to  liberty. 
Killed  with  report  that  old  man  eloquent. 

Sonnet  X. 

Old  Public  Functionary.  In  his  message  to  the  last  Congress  (1859) 
in  session  before  the  rebellion,  President  Buchanan  importuned  it  with  many 
admonitory  words,  which  he  feebly  imagined  could  allay  the  storm  about  to 
break  loose,  to  hearken  to  "an  old  public  functionary,"  as  he  impersonally 
described  himself.  During  the  remaining  months  of  his  term  his  words  were 
turned  upon  him  by  his  opponents,  and  he  was  freely  referred  to,  in  derision, 
as  the  "  Old  Public  Functionary." 

O'Leary's  Cow,  Mrs.,  the  famous  animal  which  is  believed  to  have 
started  the  great  fire  in  Chicago  (1871).  According  to  the  report  of  the  com- 
mission appointed  to  investigate  the  facts,  Mrs.  O'Leary  went  to  bed  at 
half-past  eight  o'clock,  on  account  of  her  "sore  fut."  Now,  a  certain  Pat 
McLaughlin,  a  fiddler,  had  a  party  next  door,  and,  as  Mrs.  O'Leary  subse- 
quently learned,  the  party  wanted  oysters,  the  oysters  wanted  milk  to  be 
"sthewed  in,"  and  Mr.  McLaughlin's  party  went  out  to  milk  Mrs.  O'Leary's 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  845 

cow.  The  McLaughlins  admitted  that  they  were  having  a  jollification  over  a 
greenhorn  from  Ireland,  but  denied  the  oyster  sthews,  and  denied  also  having 
milked  Mrs.  O'Leary's  cow  after  the  old  lady  had  gone  to  bed.  All  the 
witnesses  seemed  to  agree  that  there  was  a  pile  of  shavings  in  the  barn,  and 
that  the  fire  was  first  observed  in  the  side  of  the  barn  where  the  shavings 
were  stored,  but  none  of  them  had  any  idea  how  it  came  or  how  long  it 
burned  before  the  engines  arrived.  The  theory  is  that  the  cow,  probably 
resenting  a  stranger's  attempt  to  milk  her,  kicked  a  candle  out  of  his  or  her 
hand  into  the  shavings.  It  may  be  added  that  just  after  the  fire  the  bell  worn 
by  Mrs.  O'Leary's  cow  was  exhibited  simultaneously  in  eighty-one  places  in 
Chicago. 

Om  Mani  Padme  Hiim,  a  mystic  formula  which  plays  a  conspicuous 
part  in  Buddhism,  and  particularly  in  the  corrupt  form  of  it  known  as  Lama- 
ism.  It  is  the  first  subject  taught  by  the  Thibetans  and  Mongols  to  their 
children,  and  the  last  prayer  muttered  by  the  dying.  All  classes  repeat  it; 
for  with  all  Buddhists  and  Lamaists  it  is  particularly  sacred.  It  is  met 
wherever  those  creeds  prevail  ;  it  is  carved  on  columns,  walls,  trees,  rocks, 
monuments,  implements ;  it  is  regarded  as  the  essence  of  all  religion  and 
wisdom,  and  the  means  of  securing  eternal  rest.  The  six  syllables  are  said 
to  combine  the  favor  of  all  the  Buddhas,  and  to  be  the  root  of  the  whole  doc- 
trine. They  symbolize  the  transmigration  of  souls,  each  syllable  correspond- 
ing to  and  liberating  from  one  of  the  six  worlds  in  which  mankind  is  reborn. 
They  are  also  the  mystic  meaning  of  the  six  supreme  virtues,  the  successive 
syllables  denoting  self-sacrifice,  endurance,  chastity,  contemplation,  mental 
energy,  and  pious  wisdom.  The  author  of  the  formula  is  reputed  to  be  the 
Dhyani-Bodhisattwa,  or  deified  saint,  Avalokiteswara,  whom  the  Thibetans 
call  Padmapani,  or  the  lotos-handed.  It  is  not  discoverable  in  the  oldest 
Buddhist  works  of  Northern  Hindustan  or  of  Ceylon,  and  does  not,  there- 
fore, belong  to  the  earliest  stage  of  that  religion.  Its  signification  is  rather 
opaque.  Some  interpret  it  O  (oftt)  the  jewel  (mani)  in  the  lotos  {pad?tze), 
amen  [Mm)  ;  the  jewel  being  an  allusion  to  the  saint  himself,  and  the  word 
padme  to  the  belief  that  he  was  born  from  a  lotos.  The  more  probable 
meaning  is,  however,  "Salvation  is  in  the  jewel-lotos,  amen  ;"  the  compound 
word  referring  to  the  saint  and  the  flower  which  produced  him.  If  this  be 
correct,  the  phrase  would  be  simply  a  salutation  to  Avalokiteswara  or  Pad- 
mapani, and  the  mystic  interpretation  of  each  syllable  would  be  equivalent  to 
a  transcendental  interpretation  of  each  letter  of  the  syllables. 

Omnia  mecum  porto  mea  (L.,  "I  carry  all  my  effects  with  me"),  the 
reply  of  Bias,  one  of  the  Seven  Wise  Men  of  Greece,  during  the  siege  of 
Priene,  when  his  fellow-citizens  were  surprised  to  see  him  make  no  prepara- 
tions for  flight.  The  reference,  of  course,  was  to  his  wisdom,  his  sole  pos- 
session. The  Latin  form  is  that  sanctioned  by  Cicero  in  his  "  Paradoxa,"  i.  i. 
The  remark  is  variously  attributed  to  other  philosophers.  Larousse,  in  his 
"Fleurs  Historiques,"  tells  how  Mile.  Fanny  Bias,  the  opera-singer,  leaving 
for  Paris  with  but  small  baggage,  replied  to  a  friend's  remonstrances,  "Do 
you  not  see  that,  like  my  illustrious  ancestor,  om7iia  mea  mecum  porto  ?" 

Omnia  vincit  amor,  et  nos  cedamus  amori  (L.,  "  Love  wins  all  things, 
and  we  yield  to  love"),  the  sixty-ninth  line  of  Virgil's  Tenth  Eclogue.  Dryden 
has  translated  the  sentiment, — 

In  hell,  and  earth,  and  seas,  and  heaven  above. 
Love  conquers  all,  and  we  must  yield  to  love. 

In  his  "  Palamon  and  Arcite"  he  repeats  the  sentiment,  with  a  slight  variation 
in  the  phraseology : 


844     .  •  HANDY-BOOK  OF  ■ 

The  power  of  love 
In  earth,  and  seas,  and  air,  and  heaven  above. 
Rules  unresisted. 

Many  changes  have  been  rung  on  this  theme,  as  in  Scott's  lines, — 
Love  rules  the  court,  the  camp,  the  grove. 
And  man  below  and  saints  above, 
For  love  is  heaven,  and  heaven  is  love, 

which  seems  to  be  more  or  less  indebted  to  Butler, — 

Translate  to  earth  the  joys  above. 
For  nothing  goes  to  heaven  but  love. 

Sure,  love  vincit  omnia  ;  is  immeasurably  above  all  ambition,  more  precious  than  wealth, 
more  noble  than  name.  He  knows  not  life  who  knows  not  that :  he  hath  not  felt  the  highest 
faculty  of  the  soul  who  hath  not  enjoyed  it. — Thackekay  :  Esinoyid. 

When  the  Marquis  de  Bi^vre,  the  famous  French  wit,  was  told  that  the 
Abbe  Maury  had  distanced  him  in  a  contest  for  a  seat  in  the  French  Academy, 
he  replied,  "Omnia  vincit  amor,  et  nos  cedamus  amori  {a  Maury).'''' 

Omnibus  Bill,  in  American  politics,  any  legislative  measure  which  con- 
tains many  and  heterogeneous  provisions.  Specifically,  the  term  is  given  to 
a  bill,  sometimes  known  also  as  the  Compromise  Bill  of  1850,  which  Henry 
Clay,  on  January  29  of  that  year,  introduced  in  the  United  States  Senate. 
California,  having  adopted  a  constitution  prohibiting  slavery,  had  applied  for 
admission  into  the  Union  as  a  free  State.  The  Representatives  of  the  slave 
States  in  Congress  had  refused  to  vote  for  her.  Clay  thereupon  put  together 
his  bill.  It  provided  for — i,  the  postponement  of  the  admission  of  any  new 
States  formed  out  of  Texan  territory  until  Texas  herself  should  demand  the 
same  ;  2,  the  admission  of  California  as  a  free  State  ;  3,  the  organization  of 
all  territory  acquired  from  Mexico  (California  excepted)  without  the  Wilmot 
proviso;  4,  the  combination  of  this  measure  with  a  bill  providing  for  the  ad- 
mission of  Utah  and  New  Mexico  ;  5,  the  payment  to  Texas  of  ten  million 
dollars  out  of  the  Mexican  war  indemnity  for  the  abandonment  of  her  claims 
upon  the  territory  of  New  Mexico  ;  6,  a  more  effective  law  for  the  return  of 
fugitive  slaves;  7,  the  abolition  of  the  slave-trade  in  the  District  of  Columbia. 
This  was  the  second  great  compromise  measure  on  the  slavery  question  pro- 
posed by  Henry  Clay.  (See  Missouri  Compromise.)  It  failed  to  pass,  but 
most  of  its  provisions  ultimately  became  law  by  separate  enactment. 

On.  This  preposition  is  used  in  America  in  many  ways  which  would  be  con- 
sidered incorrect  in  England.  "  On  the  street,"  "  on  the  cars,"  "  on  a  steam- 
boat,"— in  all  these  cases  the  English  would  substitute  in.  The  eccentric 
slang  "on  it"  is  distinctively  American.  To  say  that  a  man  is  "on  it"  implies 
that  he  is  quick-witted,  alert,  ready  for  anything,  or  that  he  is  decidedly  en- 
gaged in  whatever  may  be  the  matter  in  hand.  Americanisms  still  say  "on 
the  win,"  "on  the  borrow,"  "on  the  steal,"  "  on  the  make,"  "on  the  preach," 
etc.,  and  the  phrase  "on  it"  is  a  concise  notification  of  the  fact  that  the 
individual  in  question  is  "on"  anything  you  may  name  that  is  audacious  or 
disreputable. 

"  Pard,  he  was  on  it.     He  was  on  it  bigger  than  an  Injun  !" 
"On  it?  on  what?" 

"  On  the  shoot.  On  the  shoulder.  On  the  fight,  you  understand.  He  didn't  give  a  con- 
tinental for  a?y/body."— Mark  Twain  :  Roughing  It,  p.  334. 

Again,  to  say  of  a  man  that  he  is  on  to  any  one  or  anything  means  that  he 
has  "  tumbled  to  the  racket,"  that  he  is  too  old  a  bird  to  be  caught,  that  he 
has  found  out  the  truth.  ^ 

Where  a  man  is  a  wife-poisoner  it  is  not  right  to  have  him  married  to  an  innocent  woman 
•who  does  not  suspect  any  harm.     He  ought  to  have  for  his  wife  a  woman  who  is  on  to  him. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  •  845 

and  who  can  meet  his  poison  advances  with  a  kerosene  balh.  It  would  be  interesting  to 
watch  such  a  couple.  If  he  came  around  her  with  taffy  or  gum-drops  and  sweet  words, 
she  would  know  in  a  minute  they  were  loaded,  and  she  would  say,  "  No,  darling,  I  do  not 
care  for  candy.     Eat  them  yourself" — AVto  i'ork  Mercury,  July  21,  1888. 

On  the  dead,  on  the  dead  quiet,  on  the  strict  Q.  T.,  are  English  as  well 
as  American  slang  for  secret,  confidential. 

Once  and  aTway,  an  old  English  phrase,  used  in  distinction  from  its 
opposite,  of  equal  pedigree,  "once  and  again."  The  phrase  is  found  in  chil- 
dren's games,  "Once  and  away,  Twice  and  away,  Thrice  and  away."  No 
doubt  it  was  adopted  hence  into  common  parlance.  The  corresponding 
French  is  "une  fois  pour  toutes."  A  foolish  emendation  has  been  suggested, 
"Once  in  a  way." 

One  man  power,  a  term  by  which  Americans  personify  a  subject  of  their 
rooted  jealousy,  the  government  by,  or  great  power  lodged  in,  any  single 
individual.  It  probably  arose  out  of  hatred  of  the  great  and  arbitrary  authority 
of  the  governors  sent  over  from  England  in  the  colonial  times.  In  the  early 
days  of  the  republic  the  power  of  the  executive  in  States  and  cities  was 
carefully  hedged  about,  and  although  its  preponderance  has  steadily  increased, 
the  phrase  is  still  in  use,  and  frequently  makes  its  appearance  in  political  dis- 
cussions. Within  the  party  organizations  it  is  often  a  cry  raised  by  the  dis- 
affected against  the  tyranny  of  the  "boss." 

Open  sesame  has  become  naturalized  as  a  colloquialism  indicating  any 
charms  of  person  or  speech  which  procure  for  their  possessor  an  entry  into 
select  or  exclusive  circles,  or  open  to  him  the  hearts  and  minds  of  men.  The 
origin  of  the  phrase,  from  the  Arabian  tale  of  "  Ali  Baba,  or  the  Forty 
Thieves,"  where  Cassim  discovers  them  to  be  the  magic  words  at  whose 
utterance  the  door  of  the  robbers'  cave  flies  open,  is  well  known. 

Opinion.  Butler,  in  "  Hudibras,"  Book  iii.,  Canto  iii.,*  1.  547,  has  the 
couplet, — 

He  that  complies  against  his  will 
Is  of  his  own  opinion  still. 

These  lines  are  almost  always  misquoted 

A  man  convinced  against  his  will 
Is  of  the  same  opinion  still. 

Something  of  the  same  sort  was  expressed  in  a  different  way  by  Favorinus, 
the  Sophist  philosopher,  who,  yielding  to  Hadrian  in  a  rhetorical  argument, 
said,  "  It  is  ill  arguing  with  the  master  of  thirty  legions."  As  Selden  ex- 
presses it  in  his  "  Table-Talk,"  "  'Tis  not  seasonable  to  call  a  man  traitor  that 
has  an  army  at  his  heels." 

Orange-blossoms  as  bridal  ornaments.  Various  theories  have  been 
suggested  in  explanation  of  the  selection  of  the  orange-blossom  for  bridal 
ornaments.  First,  the  custom  is  by  son^  supposed  to  have  been  brought  to 
Europe  by  the  Crusaders  from  the  East,  the  .Saracen  brides  being  wont  to 
wear  orange  wreaths  at  their  marriage  as  an  emblem  of  fecundity,  their  sym- 
bolical import  being  due  to  the  fact  that  the  orange-tree  bears  blossoms  and 
fruit  at  the  same  time.  To  this  it  has  been  objected  that,  although  the  orange- 
tree  was  brought  to  England  as  early  as  1290,  it  was  long  before  there  was 
any  real  cultivation  of  it  there,  even  in  green-houses.  Many,  indeed,  hold 
that  the  tree  was  first  introduced  by  Sir  Walter  Raleigh,  and  then  not  from 
any  Saracenic  land,  but  from  India  or  the  East. 

A  second  theory  is  that  orange-blossoms  came  to  be  worn  by  brides  on 
their  marriage  because  they  were  not  only  scented,  but  also  were  rare  and 
71* 


846  •  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

costly,  and  so  within  the  reach  of  only  the  noble  and  rich,  thus  indicating  the 
bride  to  be  of  high  rank.  A  third  is  that  the  orange  bridal  wreath  had  its 
origin  in  Spain,  where  oranges  are  indigenous  or  have  been  cultivated  for 
centuries.  Thence  the  fashion  passed  into  France,  whence,  through  French 
milliners,  it  became  spread  over  Europe. 

It  is  possible,  even  on  the  supposition  that  one  or  the  other  of  the  last  two 
theories  (or  a  theory  based  on  both)  is  correct,  that  the  Eastern  tradition 
regarding  fruitfulness  may  have  had  an  influence  in  prompting  the  selection 
of  the  orange-blossom  for  a  bridal  wreath  and  in  continuing  its  use.  When 
Mrs.  Malaprop,  in  "The  Rivals"  (Act  iii.,  Sc.  3),  complains  that  "Nowadays 
few  think  how  a  little  knowledge  becomes  a  gentleman;  men  have  no  sense 
but  for  the  worthless  flowers  of  beauty,"  the  gallant  Captain  Absolute  makes 
reply,  "Too  true;  but  our  ladies  seldom  show  fruit  until  time  has  robbed 
them  of  more  specious  blossom  ;  few,  like  Mrs.  Malaprop  and  the  orange-tree, 
are  rick  in  both  at  once." 

Within  recent  years  the  lilac  and  rose  have  largely  superseded  the  orange- 
blossom  for  bridal  wreaths,  the  last  being,  in  many  countries,  ditficult  to 
obtain. 

Order  reigns  at  "Warsaw.  The  Polish  rebellion  of  1830  broke  out 
almost  simultaneously  with  the  revolution  in  Paris  which  banished  the 
Bourbons  and  placed  Louis  Philippe  on  the  throne.  As  the  representative 
of  liberal  ideas,  it  was  expected  that  his  government  would  give  some  aid  to 
Poland.  But  a  deaf  ear  was  studiously  turned  to  the  demands  of  the  press, 
the  people,  and  the  National  Guard.  Poland  fell,  and  on  September  16,  1831, 
Marshal  Sebastiani,  the  French  Minister  of  Foreign  Aff'airs,  announced  the 
termination  of  the  struggle  to  the  Chamber  of  Deputies  in  these  words  : 
"My  letters  from  Poland  announce  that  order  reigns  in  Warsaw"  ("  Des 
lettres  que  je  re9ois  de  Pologne  m*annoncent  que  la  tranquillite  regne  a 
Varsovie").  The  cold-blooded  phrase  recalls  Byron's  sarcasm, — 
He  makes  a  solitude  and  calls  it— peace, 

The  Bride  0/  A  bydos,  ii.  20,— 

which  Byron,  however,  borrowed  from  Tacitus  :  "  Solitudinem  faciunt,  pacem 
appellant."  (Agricola,  ch.  xxx.)  Sebastiani  and  the  government  greatly  in- 
creased their  unpopularity  by  this  unfortunate  }not.  Of  recent  years  the  words 
are  usually,  though  erroneously,  attributed  to  the  Emperor  Nicholas,  who  is 
supposed  to  have  addressed  them  to  one  of  the  foreign  ambassadors  at  St. 
Petersburg.  As  exactly  the  sort  of  thing  he  might  have  said,  the  credit  will 
probably  remain  with  him. 

Orders,  To  make,  a  grim  mediaeval  jest.  A  clerk  in  holy  orders  was 
known  by  his  tonsure,  or  shaven  crown.  Hence  the  summary  process  of 
shaving  off  a  large  portion  of  a  foeman's  scalp  by  a  dexterous  swing  of  the 
sword  was  called  as  above.  Thus,  in  the  old  epic  "  The  Sowdane  [Sultan]  of 
Babylone"  (ed.  Hausknecht,  1.  2036),  when  the  Twelve  Peers  attacked  the 
Sultan  and  his  men  we  are  told  that  they 

maden  orders  wondir  fast ; 
Thai  slowe  doun  alle,  that  were  in  the  halle 
And  made  hem  wondirly  sore  agast. 

In  other  words,  they  sliced  pieces  off  their  adversaries'  heads  at  an  amazing 
rate.  To  do  this  was  a  favorite  amusement  with  the  renowned  Twelve 
Peers. 

Orleanists,  the  party  of  French  monarchists  which  favored  the  claims  of 
the  descendants  of  the  Orleans  branch  of  the  roval  house  of  France,  to  which 
belonged  the  Louis  Philippe  who  was  King  of  the  French  from  1830  till  1848. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  847 

l^ouis  Philippe  (born  1838),  better  known  as  the  Comte  de  Paris,  is  the  present 
representative  of  tlie  line,  and  since  the  death  of  the  Due  d'Aumale,  who, 
according  to  the  "  Legitimists,"  was  the  rightful  king  of  France,  and  the  ex- 
tinction with  him  of  the  direct  line,  the  former  represents  in  his  person  all 
the  loyal  pretensions  to  the  French  throne.  At  present  the  royalists  of  all 
shades  in  France  are  in  a  condition  of  innocuous  desuetude. 

Out  of  sight,  out  of  mind,  the  modern  form  of  a  well-known  saw  which 
was  an  '•  owlde  proverbe"  in  the  time  of  Nathaniel  Bacon,  and  is  so  quoted 
by  him  on  page  19  of  the  "  Private  Correspondence  of  Lady  Cornwallis."  Its 
earliest  appearance  in  English  is  in  Hendyng's  "  Proverbs,"  a  manuscript 
collection  {circa  1320)  : 

Fer  from  eze,  fer  from  herte, 

Quoth  Hendyng. 

Out  of  syght,  out  of  niynd. 

GooGE :  Eglogs  {1563). 

And  out  of  mind  as  soon  as  out  of  sight. 

Lord  Brooke:  Sonnet  LVI. 

I  do  perceive  that  the  old  proverbis  be  not  alwaies  trew,  for  I  do  finde  that  the  absence  of 
my  Naih.  doth  breede  in  me  the  more  continuall  remembrance  of  him. — Anne,  Lady  Bacon, 
to  Jane,  Lady  Cornivallis  (1613). 

And  when  he  is  out  of  sight,  quickly  also  is  he  out  of  mind. — Thomas  A  Kempis: 
bnitution  of  Christ,  ch.  xxiii. 

Outsider.  Until  the  nomination  of  Franklin  Pierce  for  the  Presidency, 
the  word  "outsider"  was  unknown  in  political  parlance.  The  committee  on 
credentials  came  in  to  make  its  report,  and  could  not  get  into  the  hall  because 
of  the  crowd  of  people  who  were  not  members  of  the  convention.  The  chair- 
man of  the  convention  asked  if  the  committee  was  ready  to  report,  and  the 
chairman  of  the  committee  answered,  "  Yes,  Mr.  Chairman,  but  the  commit- 
tee is  unable  to  get  inside,  on  account  of  the  crowd  and  pressure  of  the  out- 
siders."    The  newspaper  reporters  took  up  the  word  and  used  it. 

Ox.  Thou  shalt  not  muzzle  the  ox  when  he  treadeth  out  the 
corn,  an  injunction  found  in  Deuteronomy  xxv.  4,  has  come  to  be  used  figu- 
ratively to  signify  that  valuable  services,  patiently  rendered,  are  not  to  be 
rewarded  with  ingratitude.  According  to  Opie  P.  Read,  in  "A  Kentucky 
Colonel,"  it  was  a  much-quoted  text  by  Southern  preachers,  by  which  the 
brethren  were  reminded  that  their  ministration  merited  substantial  and  earthly 
reward. 

Ox  on  the  tongue,  To  have  an  (L.  "  Bovem  in  lingua  habere"), — i.e., 
to  be  bribed  to  silence.  The  Latin  is  probably  derived  from  the  Greek  phrase 
of  the  same  import,  and  its  origin  and  meaning  are  explained  by  the  earliest 
coins  being  stamped  with  the  figure  of  an  ox.  Before  metallic  money,  cattle 
[X:  pec  us,  wh.&nc&  pecimia,  "money")  were  the  standard  of  value  and  medium 
of  exchange  among  both  Hellenes  and  Latins,  and  the  stamping  of  the  ox  on 
the  earlier  coins  represents  a  surviving  memory  of  this  state  of  things.  To 
say  that  one  had  an  ox  on  the  tongue  was  therefore  equivalent  to  saying  that 
he  was  tongue-tied  by  money. 

Ox,  To  be  trodden  on  the  foot  by  the  black,  to  suffer  ills,  especially 
domestic,  and  at  the  hands  of  near  relatives.  Hesiod  speaks  of  himself  as 
having  been  trodden  on  by  the  black  ox,  having  suffered  outrageous  wrong 
from  a  brother,  who  defrauded  him  of  his  inheritance.  Sir  Walter  Scott  uses 
the  saying  in  "  The  Antiquary,"  with  the  significance  that  misfortune  has  come 
over  one's  house.     It  has  become  a  common  proverb. 


848  HANDY-BOOK  OF 


P. 

P,  the  sixteenth  letter,  and  twelfth  consonant,  of  the  English  alphabet. 
This  letter  is  one  of  admirable  consistency.  It  has  no  varieties  or  irregulari- 
ties of  pronunciation  save  only  as  the  initial  in  a  few  words  borrowed  from 
the  Greek,  when  it  is  entirely  silent, — psalm,  pneumatic,  etc.  As  an  abbre- 
viation it  enters  into  such  symbols  as  P.M.,  =  post  meridiem  (afternoon),  and 
P.S.,  =  postscript.  Standing  alone,  usually  in  lower-case,  it  may  mean  page, 
or  the  musical  direction  piano,  ("softly"),  according  to  circumstances  ;  pp.  in 
the  former  case  meaning  pages,  and  in  the  \a.tter pianissimo  ("very  softly"). 

The  expression  "Mind  your  P's  and  Q's"  is  generally  believed  to  have 
arisen  from  the  former  bar-room  usage  of  scoring  up  against  customers  the 
amount  of  beer  for  which  they  had  been  trusted,— P  standing  for  pint  and  Q 
for  quart.  Scores  of  this  sort  were  settled  weekly,  and  the  application  of  the 
saying  is  self-evident.  But  Charles  Knight  suggests  the  more  plausible  ex- 
planation that  the  expression  arose  in  the  printing-office,  where  many  other 
terse  and  quaint  phrases  have  had  their  origin.  The  forms  of  the  small  p 
and  q  in  Roman  type  have  always  proved  puzzling  to  the  printer's  appren- 
tice. In  the  one  the  downward  stroke  is  on  the  left  of  the  loop  or  oval,  and 
in  the  other  on  the  right.  Now,  when  types  are  reversed,  as  they  are  in  pro- 
cess of  distribution,  the  young  printer  is  often  puzzled  to  distinguish  the  p 
from  the  q.  Especially  in  assorting  pi, — a  mixed  heap  of  types, — where  the 
p  and  the  q  have  not  the  form  of  any  word  for  a  guide,  it  is  wellnigh  impos- 
sible for  an  inexperienced  person  to  distinguish  one  from  the  other  at  first 
sight.  If  this  be  true,  the  letters  should  be  written  in  lower-case,  and  not  in 
capitals,  thus  :  "Mind  your  p's  and  q's." 

Paddle  your  o-wn  canoe.     This  expressive  phrase  seems  to  have  first 
appeared  in  a  poem  published  in  Harper's  Magazine  (New  York,  May,  1854). 
The  following  stanzas  give  a  fair  example  of  the  whole  : 
Voyager  upon  life's  sea, 

To  yourself  be  true. 
And,  whate'er  your  lot  may  be. 
Paddle  your  own  canoe. 

***** 
Leave  to  heaven,  in  humble  trust, 

All  you  will  to  do  ; 
But  if  you  would  succeed,  you  must 
Paddle  your  ozvn  canoe. 

Fain,  Capacity  for.     Mrs.  Browning  has  a  very  striking  stanza : 
That  the  mark  of  rank  in  nature 

Is  capacity  for  pain. 
And  the  anguish  of  the  singer 

Makes  the  sweetness  of  the  strain. 

This  may  be  a  reminiscence  of  Dante  : 

Quando  la  cosa  e  piii  perfetta, 

P iu  senta  '1  bene,  e  cosi  la  doglienza. 

Inferno,  Canto  vi. 
{"  The  more  perfect  the  thing. 

The  more  it  feels  pleasure,  and  also  pain.") 

But  in  truth  the  thought  is  an  obvious  one,  and  it  is  now  an  axiom  with 
evolutionists  that  the  higher  the  organism  the  greater  its  capacity  for  both 
pleasure  and  pain.  The  heights  to  which  we  can  rise  constitute  the  measure 
of  the  depths  to  which  we  can  fall.  See  also  Mirth  and  Melancholy, 
Poets  and  Poetry, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  849 

Fainter,  I  too  am  a  (It.  "  Anch'  io  son  pittore"),  an  expression  tradition- 
ally attributed  to  Correggio  when  looking  at  Raphael's  St.  Cecilia.  Oehlen- 
schlager  has  further  popularized  it  in  his  drama  of  "Correggio,"  and  the 
phrase  is  now  common  property. 

When  I  gave  the  effect  I  intended  to  any  part  of  the  picture  for  which  I  had  prepared  ray 
colors;  when  I  imitated  the  roughness  of  the  skin  by  a  lucky  stroke  of  the  pencil;  when  I 
hit  the  clear  pearly  tone  of  a  vein  ;  when  I  gave  the  ruddy  complexion  of  health,  the  blood 
circulating  under  the  broad  shadows  of  one  side  of  the  face,  I  thought  my  fortune  made  ;  or 
rather  it  was  already  more  than  made,  in  my  fancying  that  I  might  one  day  be  able  to  say, 
with  Correggio,  "  I  also  am  a  painter  !"  It  was  an  idle  thought,  a  boy's  conceit ;  but  it  did 
not  make  me  less  happy  at  the  time. — Hazlitt  :   On  the  Pleasure  of  Painting. 

I  should  like  to  write  a  nightcap  book,— a  book  that  you  can  muse  over,  that  you  can  smile 
over,  that  you  can  yawn  over, — a  book  of  which  you  can  say,  "  Well,  this  man  is  so-and-so 
and  so-andso,  but  he  has  a  friendly  heart  (although  some  wiseacres  have  painted  him  as  black 
as  Bogey),  and  you  may  trust  what  he  says."  I  should  like  to  touch  you  sometimes  with  a 
reminiscence  that  shall  waken  your  sympathy,  and  make  you  say,  Io  anchi  have  so  thought, 
felt,  smiled,  suffered.  Now,  how  is  this  to  be  done  e.xcept  by  egotism  ?  Linea  recta  brevis- 
sima.  That  right  line  "  I"  is  the  very  shortest,  simplest,  straightforwardest  means  of  com. 
miinication  between  us,  and  stands  for  what  it  is  worth  and  no  more. — Thackeray  :  Round- 
about Papers. 

Painting  it  red,  in  American  slang,  to  go  on  a  reckless  debauch,  to  be 
wildly  extravagant.  An  outgrowing  phrase  is  "to  paint  the  town  red,"  or, 
more  simply,  "  to  paint  the  town."  Originally  the  metaphor  was  applied  to 
bonfires,  etc.,  painting  the  sky  or  the  scenery  red.  Thus,  in  an  old  Irish 
ballad,— 

The  beacon  hills  were  painted  red 
With  many  a  fire  that  night. 

But  the  immediate  source  of  the  phrase  may  be  traced  to  the  times  when  a 
Mississippi  steamboat  captain  would  strain  every  nerve  to  make  his  boat  defeat 
a  rival.  "Paint  her  red,  boys!"  would  be  his  command  to  his  men  as  they 
heaped  fuel  upon  the  roaring  fires  at  night,  casting  a  red  glare  upon  the  sur- 
rounding scenery.  Undoubtedly  the  phrase  was  helped  into  popularity  by 
the  fact  that  to  paint — i.e.,  to  paint  the  nose  red — was  an  old  slang  term  for 
drinking : 

The  muse  is  dry. 
And  Pegasus  does  thirst  for  Hippocrene, 
And  fain  would  paint, — imbibe  the  vulgar  call, — 
Or  hot,  or  cold,  or  long,  or  short. 

Charles  Kingsley:   Two  Years  Ago. 

Pair  off,  To,  in  American  politics,  to  agree  with  a  member  of  a  rival 
party  that  neither  shall  vote,  so  that  both  shall  be  spared  trouble,  yet  the 
result  be  in  no  way  affected.  Pairing-off  was  first  practised  in  the  United 
States  in  1839,  and,  though  at  first  looked  upon  with  disfavor,  has  now 
thoroughly  established  itself  as  a  legitimate  arrangement,  especially  in  the 
legislative  halls.  It  is  said  that  in  a  Western  town  the  practice  was  once 
carried  to  such  an  extent  that  not  a  vote  was  polled. 

The  vast  majority  of  strong-minded  women  wouldn't  care  so  much  about  voting  if  they 
could  only  get  a  chance  to  pair  off. — New  Uaven  News. 

Palace  of  the  soul.  This  metaphor  for  the  human  head  was  first  used 
by  Waller  in  his  poem  "On  Tea  :" 

Tea  does  our  fancy  aid, 
Repress  those  vapors  which  the  head  invade. 
And  keeps  the  palace  of  the  soul.  • 

Byron  uses  the  same  figure  in  his  musings  over  a  skull  in  the  Acropolis  : 

Look  on  its  broken  arch,  its  ruin'd  wall. 
Its  chambers  desolate,  and  portals  foul : 
Yes,  this  was  once  Ambition's  airy  hall, 
The  dome  of  Thought,  the  palace  of  the  Soul : 
Behold  through  each  lack-lustre,  eyeless  hole 


850  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  gay  recess  of  Wisdom  and  of  Wit, 
And  Passion's  host,  that  never  brook'd  control : 
Can  all  saint,  sage,  or  sophist  ever  writ 
People  this  lonely  tower,  this  tenement  refit  ? 

Childe  Hiirold,  Canto  ii..  Stanza  6. 

This  Stanza  has  some  affiliation  with  Hamlet's  musings  in  the  graveyard  of 
Elsinore,  first  over  an  unknown  skull, — 

Why  may  not  that  be  the  skull  of  a  lawyer?  Where  be  his  quiddities  now,  his  quillets, 
his  cases,  his  tenures,  and  his  tricks?— 

and  then  over  Yorick's  : 

Alas,  poor  Yorick  !  I  knew  him,  Horatio  ;  a  fellow  of  infinite  jest,  of  most  excellent  fancy. 
He  hath  borne  me  on  his  back  a  thousand  times  :  and  now,  how  abhorred  in  my  imagination 
it  is  !  my  gorge  rises  at  it.  Here  hung  those  lips  that  I  have  kissed  I  know  not  how  oft. 
Where  be  your  gibes  now?  your  gambols,  your  songs?  your  flashes  of  merriment,  that  were 
wont  to  set  the  table  on  a  roar?  Not  one  now,  to  mock  your  own  grinning?  Quite  chap- 
fallen?  Now  get  you  to  my  lady's  chamber,  and  tell  her,  let  her  paint  an  inch  thick,  to  this 
favor  she  must  come. — Hamlet,  Act  v.,  Sc.  i. 

An  anonymous  poem  "  To  a  Skeleton,"  believed  to  have  been  written  about 
1825,  has  something  of  the  same  vein  of  moralizing  : 

Behold  this  ruin  !     'Twas  a  skull 

Once  of  ethereal  spirit  full. 

T  his  narrow  cell  was  Life's  retreat, 

This  space  was  Thought's  mysterious  seat. 

What  beauteous  visions  filled  this  spot  ! 

What  dreams  of  pleasure  long  forgot ! 

Nor  hope,  nor  joy,  nor  love,  nor  fear, 

Have  left  one  trace  of  record  here. 

Poe  also  may  have  been  indebted  to  Byron  or  to  Waller  for  the  first  idea  of 
his  "  Haunted  Palace,"  of  which  these  are  two  stanzas  : 
In  the  greenest  of  our  valleys 

By  good  angels  tenanted. 
Once  a  fair  and  stately  palace 

(Radiant  palace)  reared  its  head. 
In  the  monarch  Thought's  dominion 

It  stood  there! 
Never  seraph  spread  a  pinion 

Over  fabric  half  so  fair. 
***** 
And  all  with  pearl  and  ruby  glowing 

Was  the  fair  palace  door, 
Through  which  came  flowing,  flowing,  flowing. 

And  sparkling  evermore, 
A  troop  of  Echoes,  whose  sweet  duty 

Was  but  to  sing, 
In  voices  of  surpassing  beauty. 

The  wit  and  wisdom  of  their  king. 

Pale,  Within  the.  The  origin  of  this  expression  must  be  sought  in 
history.  The  Pale,  or  English  Pale,  was  that  part  of  the  kingdom  of  Ireland 
in  which  English  rule  and  law  were  acknowledged  after  the  conquest  of  1172, 
Its  limits  varied  at  different  times,  centring  always  in  the  environs  of  Dublin, 
and  including  generally  the  counties  of  Meath,  Louth,  Carlow,  and  Kilkenny. 
Knight  says  it  included  the  whole  eastern  coast  of  Ireland,  from  Dundalk 
Bay  to  Waterford  harbor,  and  extended  some  forty  or  fifty  miles  inland.  It 
received  the  name  Pale  because  it  was  said  the  conquerors,  in  fear  of  the 
"rough,  rug-headed  kerns,"  "enclosed  and  impaled  themselves,  as  it  were, 
within  certain  lists  and  territories." 

Paley's  "Watch,  the  familiar  name  for  a  once  famous  illustration  employed 
by  Rev.  William  Paley  in  his  "  Natural  Theology"  in  support  of  what  is 
known  in  theology  as  the  "  argument  of  design,"     The  illustration,  briefly 


•  LITER AR  V  CURIOSITIES.  •    85 1 

stated,  is,  that  if  a  savage  found  a  watch  on  a  deserted  road  he  would  rightly 
argue,  from  the  evidences  of  careful  design,  that  it  had  been  put  to- 
gether by  some  thinking  mind.  It  has  been  found,  however,  that  most  of 
Paley's  book,  including  this  illustration,  was  boldly  conveyed  from  Nieuwen- 
tyt's' "  Religious  Philosopher."  But  even  Nieuwentyt  was  far  from  being 
original.  We  find  it,  for  example,  in  Tucker,  in  Clarke,  in  Bolingbroke,  and 
done  into  queer  verse  by  that  dullest  and  most  respectable  of  poets,  Sir  Rich- 
ard Blackmore  : 

In  all  the  parts  of  Nature's  spacious  sphere. 

Of  art  ten  thousand  miracles  appear ; 

And  will  you  not  the  Author's  skill  adore 

Because  you  think  he  might  discover  more? 

You  own  a  watch  the  invention  of  the  mind, 

Though  for  a  single  motion  'tis  designed, 

As  well  as  that  which  is  with  greater  thought, 

With  various  springs,  for  various  motions  wrought. 

The  same  illustration  is  to  be  found  before  this  in  the  earliest  English 
deist.  Lord  Herbert  of  Cherbury,  and  in  Hale's  "  Primitive  Origination  of 
Mankind."  It  is  more  curious,  however,  to  find  that  it  even  preceded  the 
invention  of  watches.  Cicero,  in  "  De  Natura  Deorum,"  says,  "  Quod  si  in 
Scythiam  aut  in  Britanniam  sphaeram  aliquis  tulerit  banc,  quam  nuper  nos- 
ter  efficit  Posidonius,  cujus  singulae  conversiones  idem  etficiunt  in  sole  et  in 
luna  et  in  quinque  stellis  errantibus,  quod  efficitur  in  caslo  singulis  diebus  et 
noctibus,  quis  in  ilia  barbaric  dubitet  quin  ea  sphasra  sit  perfecta  ratione  ?" 
("Suppose  some  one  were  to  take  to  Scythia  or  to  Britain  this  globe  lately 
constructed  by  our  friend  Posidonius,  whose  every  revolution  shows  us  the 
same  phenomena  in  the  sun,  the  moon,  and  the  five  wandering  stars  that 
take  place  in  the  heavens  daily  and  nightly,  who  in  those  barbarous  regions 
would  doubt  that  this  globe  was  the  product  of  a  rational  mind  ?") 

Palindrome  (from  the  Greek  'Kokiv,  "back,"  and  (5p6^of,  a  "course"  or 
"  race"),  a  word  or  sentence  which  may  be  read  backward  as  well  as  forward, 
letter  by  letter  or  word  by  word.  Palindromes  may  be  roughly  divided  into 
two  classes,  the  reciprocal,  which  yield  identical  results  however  read,  and  the 
reversible  or  recurrent,  in  which  the  meaning  is  different  or  even  absolutely 
antagonistic.  The  English  words  madam,  noon,  civic,  tenet,  are  examples 
of  the  first,  and  revel,  dog,  emit,  etc.,  of  the  second.  But  the  feat  is  to 
arrange  a  number  of  wordsin  a  sentence  so  that  the  whole  shall  be  a  palin- 
drome. Thus,  it  seems  that  the  very  first  words  spoken  by  man  in  this  world 
were  a  reciprocal  palindrome.  What  did  Adam  do  when  he  first  saw  Eve  ? 
He  bowed,  and  said,  "  Madam,  I'm  Adam."  A  better  example — indeed,  the 
best  that  the  English  language  affords— is  put  into  the  mouth  of  Napoleon  : 
"Able  was  I  erel  saw  Elba."  The  special  excellence  of  this  consists  in  the 
fact  that  every  word  remains  intact, — there  is  no  running  of  the  component 
letters  into  different  words  in  the  reverse  reading.  "Live  was  I  ere  I  saw 
evil"  is  also  good,  but  is  too  palpable  a  plagiarism  from  the  other. 

Taylor  the  Water  Poet,  who  was  fond  of  this  sort  of  trifling,  came  very 
near  producing  a  masterpiece  in  "  Lewd  did  I  live  &  evil  I  did  dwel,"  but  the 
use  of  the  ampersand  craves  an  apology,  while  the  dropping  of  the  final  /  is 
an  offence  which  apology  would  convert  into  insult. 

Here  are  some  palindromes  of  infeiior  merit : 

Name  no  one  man. 

Red  root  put  up  to  order. 

Draw  pupil's  lip  upward. 

Trash?  even  interpret  Nineveh's  art. 

Snug  &  raw  was  I  ere  I  saw  war  &  guns. 

Red  rum  did  emit  revel  ere  Lever  time  did  murder. 


852    •  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Among  the  most  excellent  palindromes  in  the  Latin  language,  and  conse- 
quently in  the  world,  are  the  two  following,  which  Camden  assures  us  cost 
their  anonymous  author  an  infinitude  of  trouble  : 

Odo  tenet  mulum,  madidam  mulum  tenet  Odo. 
Anna  tenet  mappam,  madidam  mappam  tenet  Anna. 

The  following,  also,  is  a  remarkable  tour  deforce: 
Sator  arepo  tenet  opera  rotas. 
Not  only  is  the  above  perfect  as  a  palindrome,  but  it  contains  the  further 
peculiarity  that  the  initial  letters  of  the  successive  words  unite  to  form  the 
first  word,  the  second  letters  to  form  the  second  word,  and  so  on.     The  same 
is,  of  course,  true  on  reversal. 

Another  well-known  palindrome  occurs  in  a  mediaeval  legend.  St.  Martm, 
Bishop  of  Tours,  at  a  period  when  prelates  kept  neither  carriages  nor  ser- 
vants, having  occasion  to  consult  the  Pope,  was  fain  to  walk  to  Rome.  On 
the  highway  he  was  met  by  Satan,  who  courteously  represented  how  inde- 
corous it  was  that  so  mighty  an  ecclesiastic  should  journey  on  foot  like  a 
common  pilgrim.  St.  Martin  straightway  transformed  the  devil  into  a  mule, 
and  jumped  upon  his  back.  But,  having  neither  whip  nor  spur,  he  found  a 
more  efficient  goad  in  the  sign  of  the  cross,  which  he  made  and  remade  upon 
the  mule's  back  whenever  he  slackened  his  pace.  At  last  the  beast  lifted  up 
his  voice  in  remonstrance  with  these  words  : 

Signa  te,  signa  ;  temere  me  tangis  et  angis ; 
Roma  tibi  subito  motibus  ibit  amor. 

{"  Cross,  cross  yourself;  you  annoy  and  ve.\  me  without  need ;  for,  owing  to  my  exertions, 
Rome,  your  desire,  will  soon  be  near.") 

The  classic  languages,  and  especially  the  Latin,  are  better  fitted  than  any 
other  to  this  kind  of  verbal  conjuring.  All  the  Greek  examples  are  modern, 
the  art  having  been  unknown  to  Grecian  antiquity.  Its  invention  is  credited  to 
a  lascivious  Roman  poet  named  Sotades,  who  flourished  about  250  B.C.  Few 
of  the  latter's  verses  are  extant,  and  none  of  those  extant  are  in  palindromic 
form.  But  the  following  verses,  of  somewhat  later  date,  refer  to  one  of 
Sotades's  heroes : 

Roma,  ibi  tibi  sedes— ibi  tibi  amor  ; 
Roma  etsi  te  terret  et  iste  amor, 
Ibi  etsi  vis  te  non  esse — sed  es  ibi, 
Roma  te  tenet  et  amor. 

("  Rome— there  is  thy  seat,  there  is  thy  love  ; 
Yet  that  very  love  affrights  you  from  Rome  ; 
Although  you  would  fain  not  be  there,  there  you  remain  ; 
For  both  Rome  and  love  hold  you.") 

A  Roman  lawyer  is  said  to  have  chosen  this  i)alindrome  for  his  motto  ;  "  Si 
nummi  immunis"  {"  If  you  pay  you  will  go  free"). 

A  Latin  elegiac  verse  of  uncertain  date  gives  in  every  line  a  complete 
palindrome : 

Salta,  tu  levis  es,  summus  se  si  velut  Atlas, 

(Omina  ne  sinimus,)  suminis  es  animo. 
Sin,  oro,  caret  arcana  cratera  coronis 

Unam  areas,  animes  semina  sacra  manu. 
Angere  regnato,  mutatum,  o  tangere  regna, 

Sana  tero,  tauris  si  ruat  oret  anas : 
Milo  subi  rivis,  summus  si  viribus  olim, 

Muta  sedes  ;  animal  lamina  sede  satum. 
Tarigeret,  i  videas,  illisae  divite  regnat  ; 

Aut  atros  ubinam  manibus  orta  tua  ! 
O  tu  casurus,  rem  non  mersurus  acuto 
Tclu,  sis-ne,  tenet?  non  tenet  ensis,  olet. 

A  pretty  palindromic  conceit  was  that  of  the  lady  of  Queen  Elizabeth's 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  853 

time,  who,  being  banished  from  court  under  false  imputations,  took  as  her 
device  the  moon,  partly  obscured,  with  the  motto  "  Ablata  at  alba"  ("  Out  of 
sight,  yet  still  white"). 

A  marvellous  monument  of  misplaced  ingenuity  was  published  in  Vienna 
in  1802,  in  the  shape  of  a  Greek  poem  of  four  hundred  and  sixteen  lines, 
each  line  being  a  palindrome.  It  was  entitled  Tloiniia  KapKiviKov.  The  pub- 
lisher was  George  Bendotes,  the  author  signed  himself  "  Ambrose  Hieio- 
monachus  Pamperes,"  and  author  or  publisher  assured  the  reader  on  the 
title-page  that  the  book  would  be  found  "  of  great  use  to  those  who  study  it 
deeply."  .  ,      ,•    j  ht       1 

Hitherto  we  have  confined  our  examples  to  reciprocal  palindromes.  Merely 
recurrent  or  reversible  palindromes  are  far  less  amusing  and  ingenious,  except 
in  the  cases  where  the  reverse  reading  carries  its  dissimilarity  to  some  humor- 
ous point  of  net^ation.  Addison,  for  example,  mentions  an  epigram  called 
"The  Witches'  Prayer,"  "which  fell  into  verse  when  it  was  read  either  back- 
ward or  forward,  excepting  only  that  it  cursed  one  way  and  blessed  the 
other." 

The  following  expresses  the  sentiments  of  a  Roman  Catholic : 

Patrum  dicta  probo,  nee  sacris  belligerabo. 
Read  backward,  the  words  resolve  themselves  into  a  Huguenot  sentiment : 

Belligerabo  sacris,  nee  probo  dieta  patrum. 
An  hexameter  line  from  the  church  of  Santa  Maria  Novella  thus  refers  to 
the  sacrifice  of  Abel  : 

Sacrum  pingue  dabo,  non  maerum  sacrificabo. 
When  reversed  it  becomes  a  pentameter,  and  refers  to  the  sacrifice  of  Cain : 

Sacrificabo  maerum,  non  dabo  pingue  sacrum. 
Another  illustration  of  a  change  of  meaning  wrought  by  a  change  of  form 
is  furnished  by  the  following  : 

Prospieimus  modo,  quod  durabunt  tempora  longo 

Fojdera,  nee  patriae  pax  cito  diffugiet. 

Diffugiet  cito  pax  patriae,  nee  foedera  longo 
Tempora  durabunt,  quod  modo  prospieimus. 

A  different  form  of  palindromic  dexterity  is  exhibited  in  Dean  Swift's  letter 
to  Sheridan.  The  Latin  in  no  case  makes  sense,  but  reading  each  word  back^ 
ward  as  English  we  get,  by  making  due  allowances,  from 

Mi  Sana.     Odioso  ni  mus  rem.     Moto  ima  os  illud  dama  nam? 

I'm  an  as(s).     O  so  I  do  in  summer.     O  Tom,  am  I  so  dull,  I  a  mad  man? 

Palm.  Like  some  tall  palm  the  mystic  fabric  sprung.  This  line  is 
from  "  Palestine,"  by  Reginald  Heber,  afterwards  Apostolic  Bishop  of  Calcutta, 
a  poem  which  took  the  prize  at  Oxford  in  1803.  It  describes  the  erection 
of  the  Temple,  which  "was  built  of  stone  made  ready  before  it  was  brought 
thither  :  so  that  there  was  neither  hammer  nor  axe  nor  any  tool  of  iron 
heard  in  the  house  while  it  was  in  building."  The  idea  was  suggested  to 
Heber  by  Sir  Walter  Scott,  as  we  learn  from  this  extract  from  Lockhart's 
Life  of  Scott : 

"From  thence  [London]  they  proceeded  to  Oxford,  accompanied  by 
Heber  ;  and  it  was  on  this  occasion,  as  I  believe,  that  Scott  first  saw  his 
friend's  brother  Reginald,  in  after-days  the  Apostolic  Bishop  of  Calcutta. 
He  had  just  been  declared  the  successful  competitor  for  that  year's  poetical 
prize,  and  read  to  Scott  at  breakfast,  in  Brasenose  College,  the  manuscript 
of  his  '  Palestine.'  Scott  observed  that  in  the  verses  on  Solomon's  Temple 
one  striking  circumstance  had  escaped  him, — namely,  that  no  tools  were  used 
72 


854  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

in  its  erection.     Reginald  retired  for  a  few  minutes  to  the  corner  of  the  room, 
and  returned  with  the  beautiful  lines, — 

No  hammer  fell,  no  ponderous  axes  rung  ; 
Like  some  tall  palm  the  mystic  fabric  sprung. 
Majestic  silence !  etc." 

In  later  editions  the  lines  were  changed  thus : 

No  workman's  steel,  no  ponderous  axes  rung  ; 
Like  some  tall  palm  the  noiseless  fabric  sprung. 

There  seems  to  be  a  faint  reminiscence  here  of  Cowper's  description  of  the 
ice  palace  reared  by  the  Empress  Catherine  of  Russia  : 
Silently  as  a  dream  the  fabric  rose ; 
No  sound  of  hammer  or  of  saw  was  there. 

The  Task,  Book  v.,  1.  144. 

Panel-game,  an  American  thieves'  trick.  A  place  is  specially  fitted  up 
with  sliding  doors  or  movable  panels.  Hither  a  woman  entices  a  victim. 
Her  accomplice  obtains  admission  to  the  room  through  the  secret  entrance, 
empties  the  victim's  pocket-book,  and  then  silently  retires  to  bang  loudly  on 
the  genuine  door  of  the  apartment,  clamoring  for  admission  as  the  woman's 
husband.  The  victim,  rudely  awakened,  gladly  makes  his  escape  by  another 
door  which  the  woman  points  out  to  hiin.  Naturally,  even  after  he  has  found 
out  the  trick  played  upon  him,  he  is  not  often  inclined  to  prosecute.  The 
lair  of  a  panel-thief  is  called  indiscriminately  a  panel-house,  panel-crib,  or 
panel-den. 

Panem  et  circenses  (L.,  "  Bread  and  the  circus  games"),  a  passage  from 
Juvenal  {Satires,  x.  81).  "That  people,"  he  says,  '•  which  formerly  gave  away 
military  command,  consulships,  legions,  and  everything,  now  contains  itself, 
and  anxiously  desires  only  two  things, — bread  and  the  games  of  the  circus." 
The  phrase  is  often  used  as  a  synonyme  for  moderate  yet  diversified  desires. 

Enmii\s  an  evil  that  should  by  no  means  be  under-estimated  ;  it  ends  by  imprinting  real 
despair  upon  the  face.  It  causes  creatures  who  have  so  little  love  for  one  another  as  men 
have  to  seek  their  fellows,  and  thus  it  becomes  the  source  of  companionship.  Public  precau- 
tions are  taken  against  it  as  against  other  general  calamities,  and  this  is  a  measure  of  wise 
politics,  because  the  evil  is  one  which  may  drive  men  to  the  greatest  excesses,  like  its  oppo- 
site, famine.  The  people  need  panem  el  circenses.  The  stern  penitentiary  system  of  Phila- 
delphia makes  the  mere  ennui  of  solitude  and  inaction  its  punishment,— a  punishment  so 
terrible  that  it  has  caused  convicts  to  commit  suicide.  As  necessity  is  the  lash  that  falls  upon 
the  common  people,  so  ennui  is  the  lash  of  the  upper  classes.  In  middle-class  life  it  is  repre- 
sented by  Sunday,  as  necessity  is  by  the  six  weekdays. — Schopenhauer  :  The  World  as 
IVill,  i.  369. 

Pantisocracy,  the  name  given  by  Coleridge  to  a  Utopian  society  which 
he,  with  his  friends  Southey,  Robert  Lovell,  and  George  Burnet,  had,  in  his 
younger  days,  dreamed  of  founding  in  America.  It  was  imagined  that  they 
and  others  of  congenial  tastes  and  principles  should  join  together  and  leave 
the  Old  World  for  the  woods  and  wilds  of  the  young  republic  of  the  West. 
Possessions  were  to  be  held  in  common  :  each  would  work  for  all.  The  daily 
toil  was  to  be  lightened  by  the  companionship  of  the  best  books  and  the  dis- 
cussion of  the  highest  things.  Each  young  man  would  take  to  himself  a 
fitting  helpmeet,  whose  part  it  should  be  to  prepare  their  food  and  rear  a  new 
race  in  pristine  hardihood  and  innocence.  "This  Pantisocratic  scheme," 
writes  Southey  in  1794,  "has  given  me  new  life,  new  hope,  new  energy;  all 
the  faculties  of  my  mind  are  dilated."  But  the  money  requisite  for  putting 
it  into  practice  was  not  to  be  had,  and  ere  long  he  and  Coleridge  married 
and  settled  themselves  down  to  the  conflict  with  the  actual  life  around  them. 

Par,  Above  and  beloTV.  Par  as  a  commercial  term  signifies  the  nominal 
or  face  value  of  a  share  or  security,  with  neither  premium  nor  discount.  Par 


\ 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  855 

may  then  be  considered  to  signify  the  normal  average  or  level.  In  slang  or 
familiar  speech,  one  is  above  par  when  in  health  or  spirits  he  is  above  his 
own  average  condition  ;  one  is  belmv  par  in  intelligence  or  enterprise  when 
he  is  inferior  in  these  respects  to  the  average  of  people  about  him. 

Paradoxes  and  Puzzles.  We  have  Milton's  word  for  it  that  philosophy 
is  not  "harsh  and  crabbed,  as  dull  fools  suppose."  Certainly  it  was  not 
always  so.  Like  every  other  institution,  human  or  divine,  it  went  through  its 
period  of  juvenility,  when,  at  rare  intervals,  it  would  forget  its  usual  occupa- 
tion of  rearranging  the  universe — a  feat  for  which  the  omniscience  of  youth 
is  so  particularly  well  fitted— and  indulge  in  some  of  those  playful  tricks  that 
are  a  still  more  engaging  feature  of  the  adolescent  nnnd. 

In  the  days  of  old,  which  are  called  so  because  they  were  really  the  days 
of  youth,  the  greatest  philosophers  were  fond  of  disporting  themselves  in  all 
sorts  of  ingenious  fallacies. 

There  was  Diodorus  Chronos,  a  most  acute  and  subtle  reasoner.  lie 
proved  that  there  was  no  such  thing  as  motion.  A  body  must  move  either  in 
the  place  where  it  is  or  in  the  place  where  it  not.  Now,  a  body  cannot  be  in 
motion  in  the  place  where  it  is  stationary,  and  cannot  be  in  motion  in  the 
place  where  it  is  not.     Therefore  it  cannot  move  at  all. 

It  was  in  answer  to  this  paradox  that  the  famous  phrase  "  Solvitur  am- 
bulando"  ("  It  is  solved  by  walking")  was  first  formulated, — a  solution  as  prac- 
tical as  Dr.  Johnson's  famous  refutation  of  the  Berkeleyan  theory  of  the 
non-existence  of  matter.  "  I  refute  it  thus!'''  cried  Ursa  Major,  striking  his 
fooc  with  great  force  upon  the  ground. 

Diodorus  was  brought  up  roundly  by  another  densely  practical  intelligence. 
Having  dislocated  his  shoulder,  he  sent  for  a  surgeon  to  set  it.  "  Nay,"  said 
the  practitioner,  doubtful,  perhaps,  whether  so  subtle  an  intelligence  might 
not  euchre  him  out  of  his  fee  by  some  logical  ingenuity,  "your  shoulder  can- 
not possibly  be  put  out  at  all,  since  it  cannot  be  put  out  in  the  place  in  which 
it  is,  nor  yet  in  the  place  in  which  it  is  not." 

Then  there  was  Zeno  of  Elea,  who  proved  many  things  ;  for  example,  that 
there  is  no  such  thing  as  space.  If  all  that  exists  must  be  in  space,  he  argued, 
then  must  that  space  itself  be  in  some  other  space,  and  so  on  ad  infinitum  ; 
but  this  is  absurd  ;  therefore  space  itself  cannot  exist,  as  it  cannot  be  in  some 
other  space. 

In  a  dispute  with  Protagoras,  Zeno  inquired  whether  a  grain  of  corn  or 
the  ten-thousandth  part  of  a  grain  of  corn  would  make  any  sound  in  falling 
to  the  ground. 

"  No,"  said  Protagoras. 

"  Will  a  measure  of  corn  make  any  noise  in  falling  to  the  ground  ?" 

"  Certainly,"  was  the  answer  of  the  other  sage,  stroking  his  beard,  probably, 
and  trying  to  look  wise. 

"  But,"  said  Zeno,  and  we  can  imagine  the  triumphant  self-satisfaction 
with  which  he  enunciated  this  bit  of  imbecility,  "since  a  measure  of  corn  is 
composed  of  a  certain  number  of  grains,  it  follows  that  either  a  grain  produces 
a  noise  in  falling  or  the  measure  does  not." 

This  recalls  to  mind  a  more  modern  paradox,  which  is  based  on  the  law  of 
acoustics.  A  sound  is  produced  by  the  setting  in  motion  of  certain  waves, 
which,  striking  the  ear,  give  us  the  impression  of  sound.  Now,  suppose 
there  be  no  ear  present  to  listen,  is  there  any  sound  .'' 

The  most  famous  of  Zeno's  paradoxes  is  that  known  as  Achilles  and  the 
tortoise. 

Achilles,  who  can  run  ten  times  as  fast  as  the  tortoise,  gives  the  latter  a 
hundred  yards'  start.  While  Achilles  is  running  the  first  hundred  yards,  the 
tortoise  runs  ten  ;  while  Achilles  runs  that  ten,  the  tortoise  is  running  one ; 


856  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

while  Achilles  is  running  one,  the  tortoise  is  running  one-tenth  of  a  yard ; 
and  so  on  forever.  This  sophism  has  been  considered  insoluble  even  by  Dr. 
Thomas  Brown,  since  it  actually  leads  to  an  absurd  conclusion  by  a  sound 
argument.  The  fallacy  lies  in  the  concealed  assumption  that  what  is  infi- 
nitely divisible  is  also  infinite. 

But  a  paradox  which  looks  like  it  at  first  sight  is  absolutely  irrefragable. 
A  man  who  owes  a  dollar  starts  by  paying  half  a  dollar,  and  every  day  there- 
after pays  one-half  of  the  balance  due, — twenty-five  cents  the  third  day,  twelve 
and  a  half  the  fourth  day,  and  so  on.  Suppose  him  to  be  furnished  with 
counters  of  infinitesimal  value,  so  as  to  be  able  to  pay  fractions  of  a  cent 
when  the  balance  left  is  less  than  a  cent,  he  would  never  pay  the  full  amount 
of  his  debt,  even  though,  Tithonus-like,  he  were  endued  with  immortality  ; 
there  would  always  be  some  outstanding  fraction  of  a  cent  to  his  debt. 

The  famous  "  Syllogismus  Crocodilus"  is  not  Zeno's,  but  dates  from  an  un- 
known antiquity.  A  crocodile  seizes  an  infant  playing  on  the  banks  of  a 
river.  The  mother  rushes  to  its  assistance.  The  crocodile,  an  intelligent 
animal,  promises  to  restore  the  child  if  she  will  tell  him  truly  what  will  hap- 
pen to  it.  "  You  will  never  restore  it,"  cries  the  mother,  somewhat  rashly. 
The  crocodile  astutely  rises  to  the  occasion.  "  If  you  have  spoken  truly," 
he  says,  "  I  cannot  restore  the  child  without  destroying  the  truth  of  your 
assertion.  If  you  have  spoken  falsely,  I  cannot  restore  the  child,  because  you 
have  not  fulfilled  the  agreement;  therefore  I  cannot  restore  it  whether  you 
have  spoken  truly  or  falsely." 

But  the  mother,  too,  exhibits  logical  powers  that  are  rare  indeed  in  her 
sex. 

"  If  I  have  spoken  truly,"  she  says,  "  you  must  restore  the  child  by  virtue 
of  your  agreement.  If  I  have  spoken  falsely,  that  can  only  be  when  you  have 
restored  the  child.  Therefore,  whether  I  have  spoken  truly  or  falsely,  the 
child  must  be  restored." 

Mother  and  crocodile  may  still  be  arguing  out  that  question.  History  at 
least  is  silent  as  to  the  issue.  It  is  one  of  the  unsolved  problems,  like  that 
of  "  The  Lady  or  the  Tiger  ?" 

Another  paradox  equally  astute  is  closely  parallel.  Young  Euathlus  re- 
ceived lessons  in  rhetoric  from  Protagoras,  who  was  to  receive  a  certain  fee 
if  his  client  won  his  first  cause.  Euathlus,  however,  being  lazy,  neglected  to 
accept  any  cause.  Then  Protagoras  brought  suit.  Euathlus  defended  him- 
self, and  it  was  consequently  his  first  cause.  The  master  argues  thus  :  "  If  I 
be  successful  in  this  cause,  O  Euathlus,  you  will  be  compelled  to  pay  by  vir- 
tue of  the  sentence  of  the  court ;  but  should  I  be  unsuccessful,  you  will  then 
have  to  pay  me  in  fulfilment  of  your  contract."  "  Nay,"  replies  the  apt  pupil, 
"if  I  be  successful,  O  master,  I  shall  be  free  by  the  sentence  of  the  court; 
and  if  I  be  unsuccessful,  I  shall  be  free  by  virtue  of  the  contract." 

The  judges  were  completely  staggered  by  the  convincing  logic  on  each  side, 
and  postponed  the  judgment  sine  die. 

A  similar  dilemma  puzzled  Aristotle  half  out  of  his  wits,  and  drove  Philetas, 
the  celebrated  grammarian  and  poet  of  Cos,  into  an  untimely  grave.  It  is 
known  as  "  The  Liar,"  and  is  stated  as  follows  :  "  If  you  say,  '  I  lie,'  and  in  so 
saying  tell  the  truth,  you  lie  ;  but  if  you  say,  '  I  lie,'  and  in  so  saying  tell  a  lie, 
you  tell  the  truth." 

The  sophism  of  The  Liar  reappears  in  another  form  in  the  argument  of  the 
lying  Cretians.  St.  Paul  says  (Titus  i.  12,  13),  "One  of  themselves,  even 
a  prophet  of  their  own,  said,  The  Cretians  are  always  liars,  evil  beasts,  slow 
bellies.  This  witness  is  true."  Now,  this  witness  cannot  be  true  :  the  Cre- 
tians being  always  liars,  the  prophet,  as  a  Cretian,  must  be  a  liar,  and  lied 
when  he  said  they  were  always  liars.     Consequently,  the  Cretians  are  not 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  857 

always  liars.  And  yet,  again,  the  witness  may  be  true.  For  if  the  Cretians 
are  not  always  liars,  then  the  Cretian  prophet  was  not  always  a  liar,  and  told 
the  truth  when  he  said  that  they  were  always  liars. 

And  are  not  these  sophisms  identical  in  essence  with  the  famous  legal  case 
of  the  Bridge,  which  was  decided  by  His  Excellency  Sancho  Panza,  when 
governor  of  the  island  of  Barataria  ? 

Here  are  some  more  paradoxes  of  Attic  origin  : 

"  The  Veiled  Man." — There  is  a  man  standing  before  you  with  his  face  and 
form  entirely  hidden  by  a  veil.  Do  you  know  who  this  man  is?  No.  Do 
you  know  who  your  father  is.'  You  say  you  do.  But  this  cannot  be  so,  for 
the  veiled  man  happens  to  be  your  father,  and  you  just  said  you  did  not  know 
who  he  was. 

"The  Horns."— What  you  have  not  got  rid  of  you  still  have.  You  agree 
to  that.     But  you  have  not  got  rid  of  horns  :  therefore  you  have  horns. 

"The  Bald  Man." — You  say  that  you  call  a  man  bald  when  he  has  only  a 
few  hairs.  What  is  the  difference  between  few  and  many  >  Would  ten  be  a 
few  and  eleven  not  ?  Where  shall  the  line  be  drawn  ?  You  say  that  there 
are  such  things  as  few  and  many,  and  that  there  is  a  difference  between  them. 
Define  the  difference,  then.  Such  an  examination  makes  it  plain  that  the 
difference  between  few  and  many  is  not  anything  in  particular,  which  is  as 
much  as  to  say  that  it  has  no  particular  existence. 

In  one  of  Plato's  dialogues,  Euthydemus,  a  skilful  hand  at  this  sort  of 
work,  tangles  up  a  young  man  named  Ktesippus  in  this  fashion  : 

"  Have  you  a  dog  .''" 

"Yes." 

"  Is  he  yours  ?" 

»  Yes."' 

"  Has  he  any  puppies  ?" 

"Yes,  and  they  are  the  plague  of  my  life." 

"  Is  the  dog  their  father,  then  ?" 

"To  my  certain  knowledge." 

"Then  the  dog  is  a  father  and  is  yours,  therefore  he  is  your  father." 

This  unexpected  revelation  fairly  takes  away  Ktesippus's  breath,  and  before 
he  can  recover  Euthydemus  goes  on  : 

"  Do  you  ever  thrash  that  dog  .''" 

"Yes." 

"Then  you  are  in  the  habit  of  thrashing  your  own  father  !" 

But  as  the  talk  goes  on,  Ktesippus  gets  even  with  Euthydemus.  For  the 
purpose  of  his  argument  he  wants  to  make  Euthydemus  confess  that  men  like 
to  have  gold. 

"No,"  says  Euthydemus,  "you  can't  lay  that  down  as  a  general  principle. 
Men  don't  always  like  to  have  gold  ;  they  only  want  it  under  certain  special 
conditions.     No  one  would  want  to  have  gold  in  his  skull,  for  instance." 

"  Oh,  yes,"  answers  Ktesippus.  "  You  know  that  the  Scythians  use  skulls 
for  drinking-cups,  and  inlay  them  with  gold.  Now,  these  are  their  skulls  in 
just  the  same  way  that  you  said  the  dog  was  my  father.  So  the  Scythians 
want  to  have  gold  in  their  skulls." 

Euthydemus  has  no  answer  ready  for  this,  and  Ktesippus  carries  off  the 
honors. 

A  modern  dilemma  of  a  somewhat  similar  sort  proves  that  the  much-used 
maxim,  "All  rules  have  their  exception,"  is  self-contradictory,  for  if  all  rules 
have  exceptions,  this  rule  must  have  its  exceptions.  Therefore  the  proverb 
asserts  in  one  and  the  same  breath  that  all  rules  have  exceptions  and  that 
some  rules  do  not, — a  clear  case  of  proverbial  suicide. 

Every  school-boy,  to  use  Macaulayese,  is  familiar  with  the  good  old  paradox 
72* 


858  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

which  proves  that  one  cat  has  three  tails  :  No  cat  has  two  tails ;  one  cat  has 
one  tail  more  than  no  cat ;  consequently  one  cat  has  three  tails. 

A  famous  old  problem  opens  out  a  fertile  but  somewhat  hopeless  subject 
of  inquiry  :  "  If  an  irresistible  force  strikes  an  immovable  body,  what  will  be 
the  result  ?" 

There  are  a  number  of  more  or  less  familiar  problems  which  are  not  catch- 
questions,  and  which  at  first  sight  seem  extremely  simple,  yet  require  con- 
siderable ingenuity  to  arrive  at  a  correct  result.  And  the  correct  result,  when 
arrived  at,  proves  to  be  the  exact  opposite  of  the  simple  prima  facie  answer 
that  had  sprung  immediately  to  mind. 

Can  a  ship  sail  faster  than  the  wind  }  Undoubtedly.  Ice-boats,  especially, 
which  meet  with  little  or  no  frictional  resistance,  can,  with  a  very  light  wind, 
be  sent  ahead  of  a  fast  express-train, — an  experiment  frequently  seen  in  action 
on  the  Hudson  River.  But  even  an  ordinary  yacht  can  be  propelled  twelve 
or  fifteen  knots  an  hour  by  a  breeze  blowing  only  ten  knots  an  hour. 

Of  course  this  cannot  happen  when  the  ship  sails  straight  before  the  wind. 
In  that  case  it  must  travel  more  slowly  than  the  wind,  on  account  of  the  re- 
sistance made  by  the  water.  "  But,"  you  may  say,  "  that  is  the  only  way  to 
get  the  full  effect  of  the  wind.  If  the  ship  sails  at  an  angle  with  the  wind,  the 
wind  must  act  with  less  effect,  and  the  ship  will  sail  more  slowly." 

Plausible.  Yet  every  yachtsman  and  every  mathematician  knows  it  is  not 
true. 

Suppose  we  illustrate.  You  put  a  ball  on  a  billiard-table,  and,  holding  the 
cue  lengthwise  from  side  to  side  of  the  table,  push  the  ball  across  the  cloth. 
Here,  in  a  rough  way,  the  ball  represents  the  ship,  the  cue  the  wind,'  only,  as 
there  is  no  waste  of  energy,  the  ball  travels  at  the  same  rate  as  the  cue  ;  evi- 
dently it  cannot  go  any  faster.  Now,  let  us  suppose  that  a  groove  is  cut  diag- 
onally across  the  table,  from  one  corner-pocket  to  the  other,  and  that  the  ball 
rolls  in  the  groove.  Propelled  in  the  same  way  as  before,  the  ball  will  now 
travel  along  the  groove  (and  along  the  cue)  in  the  same  time  as  the  cue  takes 
to  move  across  the  table.  The  groove  is  much  longer  than  the  width  of  the 
table, — double  as  long,  in  fact.  The  ball,  therefore,  travels  much  faster  than 
the  cue  which  impels  it,  since  it  covers  double  the  distance  in  the  same  time. 
Just  so  does  the  tacking  ship  sail  faster  than  the  wind. 
When  a  wheel  is  in  motion,  does  the  top  move  faster  than  the  bottom  ? 
Nine  people  out  of  ten  would  cry  "  Nonsense  !"  at  the  mere  question.  Both 
the  top  and  bottom  of  the  wheel'must  of  necessity,  it  would  seem,  be  moving 
forward  at  one  and  the  same  rate,— «>.,  the  speed  at  which  the  carriage^  is 
travelling.  Not  so,  however,  as  a  little  reflection  would  convince  you.  The 
top  is  moving  in  the  direction  of  the  wheel's  motion  of  translation,  while  the 
bottom  is  moving  in  opposition  to  this  motion.  In  other  words,  the  top  is 
moving  forward  in  the  direction  in  which  the  carriage  is  progressing,  while 
the  bottom  is  moving  backward,  or  in  an  opposite  direction. 

That  is  why  an  instantaneous  photograph  of  a  carriage  in  motion  shows 
the  upper  part  of  the  wheel  a  confused  blur,  while  the  spokes  in  the  lower 
part  are  distinctly  visible. 

You  want  more  proof. >  Very  well;  try  a  practical  experiment.  Take  a 
wheel,  or,  if  none  is  convenient,  a  silver  dollar,  which  you  are  sure  to  have 
about  your  person.  Mark  points  at  the  top  and  bottom,  as  A  and  B.  Make  a 
mark  at  the  starting-point,  directly  beneath  A  and  B,  upon  whatever  surface 
the  wheel  or  dollar  is  rolled.  Roll  the  wheel  forward  a  quarter  revolution, 
which  brings  A  and  B  upon  the  dividing  line  between  the  upper  and  lower 
halves  of  the  wheel.  It  will  be  seen  that  A  moves  upon  a  radius  equal  to  the 
diameter  of  the  circle,  and,  by  actual  measurement,  that  A  has  moved  a  much 
greater  distance  and  described  a  greater  curve  than  B. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  859 

Consequently  it  must  have  moved  faster. 

To  clinch  the  matter,  make  another  quarter  revolution,  or,  in  other  words, 
a  half  revolution  entire.  A  and  B  have  now  changed  places.  B  is  at  the 
top  of  the  wheel,  A  at  the  bottom.  It  will  be  found  that  in  the  second  quarter 
revolution  B  has  travelled  the  greater  distance  and  described  the  greater 
curve. 

The  following  proposition  is  left  for  the  reader  to  think  about : 

If  there  are  more  people  in  the  world  than  any  one  person  has  hairs  upon 
his  head,  then  there  must  exist  at  least  two  persons  who  possess  identically 
the  same  number  of  hairs,  to  a  hair. 

This  same  proposition  may  be  applied  to  the  faces  of  human  beings  in  the 
world.  If  the  number  of  perceptible  differences  between  two  faces  be  not 
greater  than  the  total  number  of  the  human  race,  then  there  must  exist  at 
least  two  persons  who  are  to  all  appearances  exactly  alike.  When  it  is  con- 
sidered that  there  are  about  one  billion  five  hundred  million  persons  in  the 
world  and  that  the  human  countenance  does  not  vary,  except  within  compara- 
tively narrow  limits,  the  truth  of  the  proposition  becomes  obvious,  without 
applying  the  logical  reasoning  of  it. 

You  remember  the  egg-problem  :  "  If  a  hen  and  a  half  lay  an  egg  and  a 
half  in  a  day  and  a  half,  how  many  eggs  will  six  hens  lay  in  seven  days.?" 
The  proposition  is  really  as  easy  as  the  familiar  one  which  every  school-boy 
has  puzzled  over  the  first  time  he  heard  it,  and  wondered  at  himself  ever  after 
that  it  was  not  absolutely  self-evident :  "  If  a  herring  and  a  half  cost  a  cent 
and  a  half,  how  much  will  six  herrings  cost.?" — the  answer  to  which  is  six 
cents,  of  course,  for  if  a  herring  and  a  half  cost  a  cent  and  a  half,  one  herring 
will  cost  one  cent. 

Now,  if  the  egg-problem  were  stated  in  this  way,  "  If  a  hen  and  a  half  lay 
an  egg  and  a  half  in  thirty-six  hours,  how  many  eggs  will  six  hens  lay  in 
seven  days .''"  probably  every  one  would  see  that  the  proposition  can  be 
simplified  by  saying  that  one  hen  lays  one  egg  in  thirty-six  hours,  and  then  it 
becomes  a  mere  question  of  rudimentary  mathematics  to  ascertain  that  six 
hens  will  lay  twenty-eight  eggs  in  seven  days. 

But  many  people  are  bewildered  by  the  third  fraction,  and  insist  that,  if  it 
requires  a  day  and  a  half  for  a  hen  and  a  half  to  lay  an  egg  and  a  half,  one 
hen  will  lay  one  egg  in  one  day,  and  six  hens  will  lay  six  eggs  in  one  day ; 
hence  in  seven  days  six  hens  will  lay  forty-two  eggs.  They  do  not  see  that 
although  the  first  two  fractions  balance  each  other,  and  may  be  both  cancelled, 
the  last  must  remain  as  the  measurement  of  time  in  which  it  takes  either  one 
hen  or  one  hen  and  a  half  to  perform  a  given  feat. 

Many  ingenious  casuists  insist  on  twenty-four  as  the  right  answer,  arguing 
that,  as  hens  are  never  known  to  lay  two-thirds  of  an  egg,  the  six  hens,  having 
laid  twenty-four  eggs  at  the  end  of  the  six  days,  must  patiently  wait  thirty-six 
hours  before  laying  again.  This  is  mere  quibbling.  The  object  of  the  prob- 
lem is  to  find  out  how  many  eggs  may  be  expected,  week  by  week,  from  six 
hens  under  given  conditions.  To  the  mathematical  mind  there  is  no  absurdity 
in  saying  that  each  hen  lays  two-thirds  of  an  egg  per  day,  and  therefore  six 
hens  lay  four  eggs  per  day. 

Of  course,  a  mere  humorist,  who  has  no  mathematical  instincts,  might 
assert  that  the  entire  proposition,  as  originally  stated,  is  an  absurdity,  since 
half  a  hen  cannot  lay  an  egg,  or  any  fractional  part  thereof,  unassisted  by  the 
other  half  The  egg  end  of  a  hen  only,  he  might  assert,  is  constructed  for 
that  purpose.  The  other  end  merely  announces  the  result  of  the  hen's 
efforts  and  takes  in  the  materials  from  which  the  egg  is  formed.  A  hen  doing 
business  with  one-half  of  itself  and  trying  to  run  a  branch  establishment  with 
the  other  half  would  be  a  dismal  failure. 


86o 


HANDY-BOOK  OF 


But  mathematics  was  not  made  for  humorists. 

The  above  are  illustrations  of  paradoxes  in  which  it  requires  a  certain  in- 
genuity  to  arrive  at  the  correct  answer.  Here  is  a  paradox  of  another  sort, 
in  which  the  answer  given  is  an  obvious  and  barefaced  fallacy,  and  yet  in 
which  it  requires  considerable  ingenuity  to  expose  the  falsehood  : 

A  Dublin  chambermaid  is  said  to  have  put  a  round  dozen  of  travellers  into 
eleven  bedrooms,  and  yet  to  have  given  each  a  separate  bedroom.  Here  is  a 
diagram  of  the  eleven  bedrooms  : 


23456789 


"Now,"  said  the  quick-witted  Irish  girl,  "if  two  of  you  gentlemen  will  go 
into  No.  I  bedroom,  I'll  find  a  spare  room  for  one  of  you  as  soon  as  I've 
shown  the  others  to  their  rooms." 

So,  having  put  two  gentlemen  into  No.  i,  she  put  the  third  in  No.  2,  the 
fourth  in  No.  3,  the  fifth  in  No.  4,  the  sixth  in  No.  5,  the  seventh  in  No.  6, 
the  eighth  in  No.  7,  the  ninth  in  No.  8,  the  tenth  in  No.  9,  the  eleventh  in 
No.  10.  Then,  going  back  to  No.  i,  where  you  will  remember  that  she  left 
the  twelfth  gentleman  along  with  the  first,  she  said, — 

"  I  have  now  accommodated  all  the  rest,  and  have  still  a  room  to  spare  ;  so, 
if  one  of  you  will  step  into  Room  11  you  will  find  it  empty." 

Thus  the  twelfth  man  got  his  bedroom. 

Now,  every  one  sees  at  a  glance  that  there  is  a  flaw  somewhere  ;  but  not 
every  one  recognizes  immediately  that  the  flaw  lies  in  rolling  two  single  gentle- 
men (No.  2  and  No.  12)  into  one,  like  the  hero  of  Peter  Pindar's  poem. 

Here  is  another  semi-mathematical  puzzle  : 

"  A  train  starts  daily  from  San  Francisco  to  New  York,  and  one  daily  from 
New  York  to  San  Francisco,  the  journey  lasting  seven  days.  How  many 
trains  will  a  traveller  meet  in  journeying  from  San  Francisco  to  New  York  ?" 

The  same  nine  people  out  of  our  mythical  ten,  unless  they  have  been 
warned  by  their  former  lapses,  will  answer  off-hand,  "Seven."  But  they 
overlook  the  fact  that  every  day  during  the  journey  a  fresh  train  is  starting 
from  the  other  end,  while  there  are  seven  on  the  way  to  begin  with.  The 
traveller  will  therefore  meet,  not  seven  trains,  but  fourteen. 

Here  is  a  question  which  was  seriously  and  gravely  considered  in  the  late 
R.  A.  Proctor's  ponderous  paper,  Knmvledge : 

"  A  man  walks  round  a  pole  on  the  top  of  which  is  a  monkey.  As  the  man 
moves,  the  monkey  turns  round  on  the  top  of  the  pole  so  as  still  to  keep  face 
to  face  with  the  man.  Query  :  When  the  man  has  gone  round  the  pole,  has 
he  or  has  he  not  gone  round  the  monkey  ?" 

Some  correspondents  held  that  the  man  had  not  gone  round  the  monkey, 
since  he  had  never  been  behind  it.  But  Knowledge  decided  that  the  man  had 
gone  round  the  monkey  in  going  round  the  pole. 

Parallel.  None  but  himself  can  be  his  parallel,  a  persistent  mis- 
quotation of  a  famous  line  in  "The  Double  Falsehood,  or  Distrest  Lovers." 
Act  iii.,  Sc.  I.     The  line  and  its  context  run  as  follows  : 

O  my  good  Friend,  methinks  I  am  too  patient. 
Is  there  a  treachery  like  this  in  baseness 
Recorded  anywhere?     It  is  the  deepest : 
None  but  itself  can  be  its  pandlel ; 
And  from  a  friend  professed  ! 

The  play  is  taken  from  a  novel  in  "  Don  Quixote,''  and  according  to  tra- 
dition was  written  by  Shakespeare    and  presented  to   one  of   his   natural 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  86 1 

daughters.  Lewis  Theobald  revised  and  published  it  in  1728.  As  the  origi- 
nal manuscript  has  never  seen  the  light,  it  is  impossible  to  say  how  much  of 
the  play  as  we  have  it  is  Theobald's  composition.  Pope  evidently  assumed 
it  to  be  mainly  iiis.  At  all  events,  in  his  Treatise  on  I3athos  he  holds  him 
responsible  for  the  line 

None  but  itself  can  be  its  parallel, 

denouncing  it  as  a  masterpiece  of  absurdity,  and  supposing  it  copied  from  a 
Smithfield  showman  who  wrote  in  large  letters  over  the  picture  of  an  elephant 
which  adorned  his  booth, — 

The  greatest  elephant  in  the  world  except  himself. 

Now,  if  any  part  of  this  drama  be  old,  it  is  probable  that  this  passage  belongs 
to  the  original  portion.  At  all  events,  the  idea  was  not  Theobald's.  It  is 
classic  ;  it  goes  as  far  back  as  Seneca's  "  Hercules  Furiens,"  i.  84  : 

Quaeris  Alcidae  parem? 

Nemo  est  nisi  ipse. 
("  Do  you  need  a  parallel  to  Alcides  ?     It  can  be  nobody  but  himself.") 

The  peculiar  audacity  of  the  conceit  commended  it  to  the  seventeenth-cen- 
tury intellect,  which  continually  reproduced  it.  Thus,  Massinger,  in  "The 
Duke  of  Milan"  (1623),  makes  Sforza  say  of  his  wife  that  she  has  no  equal, 
her  goodness  disdains  comparison, — 

And  but  herself  admits  no  parallel. 

Act  iv.,  Sc.  3. 

Again,  as  a  correspondent  q{  Notes  and  Queries  points  out  (fifth  series,  i.  489), 
there  is  in  the  British  Museum  a  broadside,  undated,  but  marked  by  the 
collector  "July,  1658,"  which  in  the  form  of  an  anagram  makes  a  bitter  attack 
on  the  notorious  John  Lilburne.    The  tenth  and  eleventh  lines  run  as  follows  : 

Rogues  most  compleat,  but  punyes  unto  him, 

None  but  himself  himself  can  parallel. 

The  eleventh  line,  word  for  word,  is  quoted  by  Dodd  in  his  "Epigramma- 
tists "  p.  533,  as  an  inscription  placed  under  the  portrait  of  Colonel  Strange- 
ways,  a  member  of  Charles  II.'s  privy  council.  Here  it  was  used  in  a  com- 
plimentary sense.  A  similar  compliment  is  paid  in  prose  by  the  anonymous 
author  of  "  Votivse  Anglic"  (Utrecht,  1624)  :  "  I  cannot  speak  of  her  without 
prayse,  nor  prayse  her  without  admiration  ;  sith  shee  can  be  mimytated  by 
none,  nor  parraleld  by  anie  but  herselfe."  Analogues  more  or  less  remote 
may  be  found  elsewhere.  Under  a  portrait  of  Joseph  Hall,  dated  1650,  and 
forming  the  frontispiece  to  "  Susurrium  cum  Deo,"  are  the  hues, — 

This  Picture  represents  the  Forme  where  dwells 

A  Mind  which  nothing  but  that  Mind  excels. 

Indeed,  are  not  the  famous  lines  of  Milton  identical  in  spirit,  even  to  the 
bull,  if  bull  you  choose  to  call  it  ? — 

Adam  the  goodliest  man  of  men  since  bom 

His  sons  ;  the  fairest  of  her  daughters  Eve. 

John  Andrews,  the  learned  Bishop  of  Aleria,  who  did  so  much  for  the  early 
printers  and  their  art,  used  to  affix  elaborate  epistles  to  the  works  brought  out 
by  his  proteges.  That  on  Livy  is  particularly  elaborate  (Beloe's  Anecdotes, 
iii.  283).  Livy  he  thinks  to  be  Herculeni  merito  historiarum.  Livy,  says  he, 
growing  enthusiastic,  not  only  excelled  other  writers,  but  also  even  far  sur- 
passed himself;  sed  seipsiitn'qiioqtte  longe  antecellit.  He  is  not  only  his  own 
parallel,  but  his  alacrity  is  such  that  he  leaves  himself  behind  in  the  race,  and 
runs  away  from  his  own  shadow,  or  his  own  spirit  from  his  own  body. 


862  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Paris  vaut  bien  une  messe  (Fr,  "  Paris  is  well  worth  a  mass").  This 
jihrase  is  attributed  to  Henry  IV.  as  his  reason  for  becoming  a  Catholic.  But 
it  is  also  attributed  to  Sully  as  an  answer  made  to  Henry  IV.  when  the  latter 
asked  him,  "  Why  do  you  not  go  to  mass  like  myself.'"  "  Sire,"  answered 
the  Protestant  courtier,  "the  crown  is  well  worth  a  mass,"  implying  that 
apostasy  was  too  great  a  price  to  be  paid  for  anything  short  of  the  crown. 
Fournier,  in  his  "Esprit  en  I'Histoire,"  subscribes  to  the  latter  story,  holding 
that  the  expression  in  the  mouth  of  Henry  would  have  been  highly  impru- 
dent. "  If  it  had  occurred  to  him  when  he  resolved  to  abjure  his  religion  in 
order  to  make  his  entrance  to  Paris  and  to  the  throne  smoother,  he  was  too 
shrewd  to  give  it  utterance." 

Parody  (from  the  Greek  napudia,  literally,  a  song  sung  besides,  a  burlesque 
imitation),  a  very  common  form  of  literary  drolling,  consisting  of  an  imitation 
of  the  serious  manner  of  another  applied  to  a  low,  ludicrous,  or  trifling  theme. 

M.  Delpierre,  who  has  published  a  copious  work  on  ancient  and  modern 
parody  (Paris,  1870),  casts  about  him  for  a  satisfactory  definition,  and  finally 
falls  back  upon  that  of  Pere  Montespan,  a  writer  of  the  seventeenth  century, 
who  held  that  the  essence  of  parody  was  the  substitution  of  a  new  and  light 
for  an  old  and  serious  subject,  and  the  free  use  (or  misuse)  of  the  expressions 
of  the  author  parodied.  Unlike  burlesque, — where  the  subjects  remain  and 
the  characters  reappear  the  same,  though  trivialized  and  degraded, — in  paro- 
dies new  characters  apply  old  and  high-flown  expressions  and  language  to  a 
new  subject  and  an  altered  case.  Francis  Jeffrey,  again,  in  his  review  of  the 
"  Rejected  Addresses,"  makes  a  subtle  and  acute  differentiation  of  the  various 
forms  of  parody,  distinguishing  between  the  mere  imitation  of  externals — 
mere  personal  imitation,  so  to  speak— and  that  higher  and  rarer  art  which 
brings  before  us  the  intellectual  characteristics  of  the  original.  "  A  vulgar 
mimic,"  he  says,  "  repeats  a  man's  cant  phrases  and  known  stories  with  an 
exact  imitation  of  his  voice,  look,  and  gestures  ;  but  he  is  an  artist  of  a  far 
higher  description  who  can  make  stories  or  reasonings  in  his  manner,  and 
represent  the  features  and  movements  of  his  mind  as  well  as  the  accidents  of 
his  body.  It  is  a  rare  feat  to  be  able  to  borrow  the  diction  and  manner  of  a 
celebrated  writer  to  express  sentiments  like  his  own, — to  write  as  he  would  have 
written  on  the  subject  proposed  to  his  imitator, — to  think  his  thoughts,  in 
short,  as  well  as  to  use  his  words, — and  to  make  the  revival  of  his  style  ap- 
pear a  natural  consequence  of  the  strong  conception  of  his  peculiar  ideas." 
This  is  all  very  well.  But  the  result  would  not  be  strictly  a  parody,  any 
more  than  the  irony  of  Defoe,  which  every  one  took  literally,  was  true  irony. 
Parody,  like  irony,  must  give  a  humorous  twist  to  the  sentiments  imitated  ; 
the  imitation  must  be  consciously  exaggerated  ;  the  fun  must  be  apparent  on 
the  surface.  However  great  may  be  the  real  reverence  of  the  parodist  for  his 
author,  he  cannot  free  himself  from  the  irreverence  of  levity.  Therefore, 
though  in  some  sense  a  parody  is  a  compliment  to  the  author  because  it  is  a 
tribute  to  the  popularity  of  his  work,  no  author  ever  really  liked  to  be  paro- 
died ;  and  that  author's  admirers,  no  matter  how  acutely  they  may  enjoy  the 
fun,  cannot  but  feel  a  twinge  of  conscience  as  of  an  unwilling  witness  to  a 
sacrilege  or  a  desecration. 

It  is  true  that  no  one  was  more  quick  to  recognize  the  cleverness  and  laugh 
at  the  fun  of  "  A  Tale  of  Drury  Lane"  in  the  "  Rejected  Addresses"  than 
Sir  Walter  Scott  himself,  yet  he  humorously  complained  that  he  did  not  know 
he  had  ever  written  so  badly.  It  is  true  also  that  Crabbe  acknowledged 
that  in  the  versification  of  "The  Theatre"  he  had  been  "done  admirably." 
Yet  Crabbe  complained  that  there  was  a  "little  undeserved  ill-nature"  in  the 
prefatory  address,— which  reminds  one  of  the  debauchee  who,  rising  with  a 
matutinal  headache,  laid  the  blame  upon  that  last  oyster. 


LITERAR  y  CURIOSITIES.  863 

Robert  Browning  openly  and  avowedly  detested  parodies.  To  one  who 
had  asked  his  consent  to  quote  a  few  lines  from  two  of  his  popular  poems  to 
illustrate  some  imitations,  he  wrote, — 

29,  De  Vere  Gardens,  W.,  December  28,  1888. 
Sir,— In  reply  to  your  request  for  leave  to  publish  two  of  my  poems  along  with  "  Parodies" 
upon  them,  1  am  obliged  to  say  that  I  disapprove  of  every  kind  of  "  Parody"  so  much  that 
1  must  beg  to  be  excused  from  giving  any  such  permission.     My  publisher  will  be  desired  to 
enforce  compliance  with  my  wish,  if  necessity  should  arise.   •  Believe  me,  sir, 

Yours  obediently, 

Robert  Browning. 

Dr.  Arnold  of  Rugby  told  his  boys  to  follow  his  example  and  never  read 
parodies,  "  as  they  suggested  themselves  to  the  mind  for  ever  after  in  con- 
nection with  the  beautiful  pieces  which  they  parodied"  {Notes  and  Queries, 
seventh  series,  x.  144). 

Parodies  and  burlesques  were  both  favorite  forms  of  humor  with  the 
ancient  Greeks.  In  the  public  streets,  and  later  in  the  theatres,  the  paro- 
dist frequently  followed  the  rhapsodist  who  recited  from  the  Iliad  or  the 
Odyssey,  or  appeared  as  the  farce  after  the  tragedy,  to  give  a  comic  version 
of  the  previous  performance.  It  is  not  impossible  that  the  "  Battle  of  the 
Frogs  and  Mice,"  which  is  a  mock  imitation  of  the  Homeric  style,  and  which 
at  one  time  passed  for  a  genuine  Homeric  poem,  may  have  been  recited  by 
some  ancient  parodist ;  perhaps  following,  as  an  after-piece,  the  "  Battle  of  the 
Ships."  If  so,  it  is  the  only  one  of  these  earlier  parodies  that  has  come  down 
to  us.  We  can  but  guess  at  the  nature  of  the  others,  for  little  remains  of 
the  numerous  authors  who  are  known  to  have  composed  them,  and  it  is 
probable  that  the  performers  trusted  a  good  deal  to  the  extempore  sugges- 
tions of  their  own  Attic  wit  to  give  them  effect.  Of  the  famous  Hipponax, 
for  example,  who  is  sometimes  held  to  be  the  inventor  of  epic  parody,  only  a 
few  fragments  are  extant,  and  these  reveal  none  of  that  terrible  sarcasm  with 
which  he  is  credited, — the  sarcasm  which  overwhelmed  the  brother-sculp«jrs 
of  Chios,  who  had  made  a  too  faithful  likeness  of  the  ugly  and  venomous  little 
man,  and  finally  drove  them  to  suicide.  Of  Hegemon  of  Thasos,  nicknamed 
"  Lentil,"  who  was  the  reputed  father  of  dramatic  as  Hipponax  was  of  epic 
parody,  little  more  than  his  name  survives.  Yet  he,  too,  was  a  power  in  his 
day,  and  it  is  related  that  the  Athenians  in  the  theatre  sat  out  the  recital  of 
his  "  Battle  of  the  Giants"  in  spite  of  the  ill  news  of  a  disaster  to  their  arms 
in  Sicily  received  after  its  commencement.  Just  so  in  the  French  Revolution 
the  people  ran  out  of  the  theatres  between  the  acts  to  see  the  miserable 
victims  pass  on  their  way  to  the  guillotine,  and  then  quietly  resumed  their 
seats  and  forgot  that  dark  tragedy  in  the  last  new  vaudeville. 

That  these  early  parodies  were  all  mercilessly  personal,  and  spared  neither 
gods  nor  men,  we  mav  judge  from  what  Aristophanes  has  taught  us  of  the 
unbounded  license  of 'Greek  satire.  The  prince  of  humorists  was  also  the 
prince  of  Greek  parodists.  His  ever-recurrent  burlesques  of  Euripides,  his 
travesties  of  the  Socratic  philosophies,  are  still  redolent  of  fun  after  the  lapse 
of  a  score  of  centuries.  To  read  Aristophanes— "The  Frogs,"  for  example — 
is  to  take  one's  fill  of  parodies,  the  only  drawback  being  a  suspicion  that  the 
poet  had  his  favorites  as  well  as  his  butts. 

With  the  Romans  parody  was  a  favorite  amusement.  Catullus  and  Virgil 
seem  to  have  suffered  the  most,  and  Joseph  Scaliger,  in  his  "  Catalecta,"  has 
even  preserved  a  parody  on  Catullus  which  is  attributed  to  Virgil.  But  the 
latter  was  paid  off  in  his  own  coin  by  the  anonymous  writer  of  the  "  Anti- 
Bucolica,"  mentioned  by  Donatus,  the  first  of  which  commenced  as  follows  : 
Tityre,  si  toga  calda  tibi  est,  quod  tegmine  fagi? 

The  remains  of  Roman  as  of  Greek  parody  are  scanty.     Perhaps  the  world 


864  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

has  lost  very  little.  Certainly  it  has  no  reason  to  rejoice  in  the  mass  of 
rubbish  which  the  priests  and  pedants  of  the  Middle  Ages  left  behind  them 
in  the  shape  of  parodies  on  Horace,  Juvenal,  and  Catullus.  Nor  can  it  ex- 
perience any  emotion  save  disgust  for  the  fools  who  rushed  in  even  on  holy 
ground  and  parodied  the  prayers,  litanies,  and  offices  of  the  Church,  as  well 
as  the  finest  passages  in  the  Old  Testament  and  the  New.  These  were  common 
in  Europe  from  the  twelfth  century  to  the  seventeenth,  while  over  in  England 
stern  Puritans  and  loyal  Cavaliers  availed  themselves  largely  of  Scripture 
phraseology  to  give  zest  to  their  caustic  witticisms,  and  reviled  one  another 
in  mock  Litanies  and  Visitations  of  Sick  Parliaments.  One  of  the  latest  and 
most  offensive  instances  is  found  in  the  "  Old  England's  Te  Deum"  of  Sir 
Charles  Hanbury  Williams. 

But  enough  of  this.  One  would  gladly  exchange  the  whole  lot  for  a  few 
more  such  lively  skits  as  the  parodies  of  Menage,  or  those  which  in  Joseph 
Scaliger's  day  were  composed  by  various  learned  personages  upon  a  flea  that 
had  made  its  appearance  on  the  fair  bosom  of  Madame  Catherine  Desroches. 
The  intruder  was  discovered  by  Etienne  Pasquier,  who  forthwith  delivered 
himself  of  an  impromptu.  Then  followed  a  host  of  parodies,  in  many  forms 
and  many  languages,  and  in  imitation  of  many  masters,  until  Madame  Des- 
roches's  flea  became  as  famous  as  Lesbia's  sparrow. 

About  the  middle  of  the  seventeenth  century  (to  be  exact,  in  1652)  appeared 
the  famous — or  infamous — "Virgile  Travesti"  of  the  French  Scarron.  It 
seems  to  our  modern  taste  rather  a  vulgar  bit  of  ribaldry,  but  it  was  extrava- 
gantly admired,  and,  in  spite  of  Boileau,  it  created  a  host  of  imitators.  Over 
in  England,  Charles  Cotton,  the  translator  of  Montaigne,  produced  a  work  of 
the  same  order,  entitled  "  Scarronides,  or  Virgil  Travestied,"  which  is  now, 
fortunately,  forgotten.  Of  a  far  higher  order  was  "The  Splendid  Shilling"  of 
John  Philips,  pronounced  by  Steele  to  be  the  finest  burlesque  poem  in  the 
English  language.  It  is  not  so  much  a  parody  of  Milton,  for  it  siiggests  no 
well-known  passage,  as  an  application  of  the  Miltonic  style  to  trivial  things. 
It  has  undoubted  cleverness,  yet  the  humor  is  of  a  sort  that  soon  fades.  Let 
us  try  a  few  lines  and  see  if  they  will  extort  a  laugh.  Here  is  the  famous 
description  of  the  dun  and  the  bailiff: 


Thus,  while  my  joyless  minutes  tedious  flow. 

With  looks  demure,  and  silent  pace,  a  dun. 

Horrible  monster!  hated  by  gods  and  men. 

To  my  aerial  citadel  ascends  : 

With  vocal  heel  thrice  thundering  at  my  gate. 

With  hideous  accent  thrice  he  calls  ;  1  know 

The  voice  ill-boding,  and  the  solemn  sound. 

What  should  I  do  ?  or  whither  turn  ?     Amazed, 

Confounded,  to  the  dirk  recess  I  fly 

Of  wood-hole  :  straight  my  bristling  hairs  erect 

Through  sudden  fear:  a  chilly  sweat  bedews 

My  shuddering  limbs,  and  (wonderful  to  tell !) 

My  tongue  forgets  her  faculty  of  speech. 

So  horrible  he  seems  !     His  faded  brow 

Intrenched  with  many  a  frown,  and  conic  beard. 

And  spreading  band,  admired  by  modern  saints. 

Disastrous  acts  forebode  ;  in  his  right  hand 

Long  scrolls  of  paper  solemnly  he  waves, 

With  characters  and  fisures  dire  inscribed, 

Grievous  to  mortal  eyes  (ye  gods,  avert 

Such  plagues  from  righteous  men  !).     Behind  hin 

Another  monster,  not  unlike  himself, 

Sullen  of  aspect,  by  the  vulgar  called 

A  catchpoll,  whose  polluted  hands  the  gods 

With  force  incredible,  and  magic  charms. 

First  have  endued  :  if  he  his  ample  palm 

Should  haply  on  ill-fated  shoulder  lay 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  Z6% 

Of  debtor,  straight  his  body,  to  the  touch 
Obsequious  (as  whilom  knights  were  wont). 
To  some  enchanted  castle  is  conveyed. 
Where  gates  impregnable  and  coercive  chains 
In  durance  strict  detain  him,  till,  in  form 
Of  money,  Pallas  sets  him  free. 

This  maybe  funny,  but,  as  children  say,  "it's  not  so  awful  funny."  Never- 
theless the  great  Dr.  Johnson  enjoyed  it. 

The  great  period  of  parody  in  England  undoubtedly  began  with  the  "  Rolliad" 
and  the  "  Anti-Jacobin,"  and  has  been  continued  in  such  masterpieces  of  fun  as 
the  "  Rejected  Addresses"  of  the  brothers  Smith,  the  "  Bon  Gaultier  Ballads" 
of  Aytoun  and  Martin,  the  prose  travesties  by  Thackeray  and  Bret  Harte, 
the  "  Echo  Club"  of  Bayard  Taylor,  the  "  Heptalogia"  of  Swinburne,  and 
various  bits  .of  verse  by  Lewis  Carroll,  C.  S.  Calverley,  and  other  humorists. 

The  story  of  the  "  Rejected  Addresses"  has  been  often  told.  The  direc- 
tors of  Drury  Lane  Theatre  had  offered  a  prize  for  the  best  poetical  ad- 
dress to  be  read  at  the  opening  of  their  new  building  in  1812.  A  casual 
remark  dropped  by  one  Mr.  Ward,  the  secretary  to  the  theatre,  that  none  of 
the  pieces  offered  had  proved  acceptable,  was  the  hint  on  which  the  brothers 
Smith  set  to  work.  They  composed  a  series  of  addresses  professedly  written 
by  the  principal  authors  of  the  day  and  rejected  by  the  Drury  Lane  commit- 
tee. The  book  appeared  simultaneously  with  the  opening  of  the  theatre,  and 
was  an  overwhelming  success.  The  parodies  on  Scott,  Crabbe,  and  Words- 
worth were  voted  especially  fine.  These  are  all  too  long  to  quote  entire. 
Let  us  extract  the  story  proper  in  the  Crabbe  parody  from  the  long  introduc- 
tion.    Here  it  is  entire  : 

John  Richard  William  Alexander  Dwyer 

Was  footman  to  Justinian  Stubbs,  Esquire ; 

But  when  John  Dwyer  'listed  in  the  Blues, 

Emanuel  Jennings  polished  Stubbs's  shoes. 

Emanuel  Jennings  brought  his  youngest  boy 

Up  as  a  corn-cutter, — a  safe  employ  ; 

In  Holywell  Street,  St.  Pancras,  he  was  bred 

(At  number  twenty-seven,  it  is  said). 

Facing  the  pump,  and  near  the  Granby's  head  ; 

He  would  have  bound  him  to  some  shop  in  town. 

But  with  a  premium  he  could  not  come  down. 

Pat  was  the  urchin's  name, — a  red-haired  youth. 

Fonder  of  purl  and  skittle-grounds  than  truth. 
Silence,  ye  gods  !  to  keep  your  tongues  in  awe. 

The  Muse  shall  tell  an  accident  she  saw. 
Pat  Jennings  in  the  upper  gallery  sat. 

But,  leaning  forward,  Jennings  lost  his  hat; 

Down  from  the  gallery  the  beaver  fiew. 

And  spumed  the  one  to  settle  in  the  two. 

How  shall  he  act  ?     Pay  at  the  gallery-door 

Two  shillings  for  what  cost,  when  new,  but  four  ? 

Or  till  half-price,  to  save  his  shilling,  wait. 

And  gain  his  hat  again  at  half-past  eight  ? 

Now,  while  his  fears  anticipate  a  thief, 

John  Mullens  whispered,  "  Take  my  handkerchief." 

"  Thank  you  I"  cries  Pat ;  "  but  one  won't  make  a  line." 

"  Take  mine  !"  cried  Wilson  ;  and  cried  Stokes,  "  Take  miael" 

A  motley  cable  soon  Pat  Jennings  ties. 

Where  Spitalfields  with  real  India  vies. 

Like  Iris'  bow  down  darts  the  painted  clue. 

Starred,  striped,  and  spotted,  yellow,  red,  and  blue. 

Old  calico,  torn  silk,  and  muslin  new. 

George  Green  below,  with  palpitating  hand, 

Loops  the  last  'kerchief  to  the  beaver's  band. 

Upsoars  the  prize  !     The  youth,  with  joy  unfeigned. 

Regained  the  felt,  and  felt  what  he  regained  ; 

While  to  the  applauding  galleries  grateful  Pat 

Made  a  low  bow,  and  touched  the  ransomed  hat ! 

2M  eee  73 


866  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

From  the  same  work  is  taken  this  parody  on  a  well-known  passage  in 
Southey's  "  Kehama :" 

Midnight,  yet  not  a  nose 
From  Tower  Hill  to  Piccadilly  snored ; 

Midnight,  yet  not  a  nose 
From  Indra  drew  the  essence  of  repose. 
See  with  what  crimson  fury, 
By  Indra  fanned,  the  god  of  fire  ascends  the  walls  of  Drury  1 
The  tops  of  houses,  blue  with  lead, 
Bend  beneath  the  landlord's  tread  ; 
Master  and  'prentice,  serving-man  and  lord. 
Nailer  and  tailor. 
Grazier  and  brazier. 
Through  streets  and  alleys  poured. 
All,  all  abroad  to  gaze 
And  wonder  at  the  blaze. 
Thick  calf,  fat  foot,  and  slim  knee 
Mounted  on  roof  and  chimney. 
The  mighty  roast,  the  mighty  stew 
To  see. 
As  if  the  dismal  view 
Were  but  to  them  a  mighty  jubilee. 

This  stanza  from  the  parody  of  Byron  is  especially  famous : 

For  what  is  Hamlet  but  a  hare  in  March  ? 
And  what  is  Brutus  but  a  croaking  owl  ? 
And  what  is  Rolla?     Cupid  steep'd  in  starch, 
Orlando's  helmet  in  Augustine's  cowl. 
Shakespeare,  how  true  thine  adage,  "  fair  is  foul !" 
To  him  whose  soul  is  with  fruition  fraught, 
The  song  of  Braham  is  an  Irish  howl. 
Thinking  is  but  an  idle  waste  of  thought, 
And  nought  is  everything,  and  everything  is  nought. 

The  imitation  of  Moore,  too,  is  good  : 

The  apples  that  grew  on  the  fruit-tree  of  knowledge 
By  woman  were  plucked,  and  she  still  wears  the  prize. 

To  tempt  us  in  theatre,  senate,  or  college,— 
1  mean  the  love-apples  that  bloom  in  the  eyes. 

There,  too,  is  the  lash  which,  all  statutes  controlling, 
Still  governs  the  slaves  that  are  made  by  the  fair ; 

For  man  is  the  pupil  who,  while  her  eye's  rolling. 
Is  lifted  to  rapture  or  sunk  in  despair. 

The  "Bon  Gaultier  Ballads,"  by  William  Edmonstoune  Aytoun  and  Theo- 
dore Martin,  contain  some  equally  good  parodies.     "  The  Laureate's  Tourney, 

by  the  Hon.  T B M'A ,"  is  the  best  travesty  of  Macaulay  ever 

written  : 

"  He's  dead,  he's  dead,  the  Laureate's  dead !"  'twas  thus  the  cry  began. 

And  straightway  every  garret  roof  gave  up  its  minstrel  man  ; 

From  Grub  Street,  and  from  Houndsditch,  and  from  Famngdon  Within, 

The  poets  all  towards  Whitehall  poured  on  with  eldritch  din. 

Loud  yelled  they  for  Sir  James  the  Graham  :  but  sore  afraid  was  he  ; 

A  hardy  knight  were  he  that  might  face  such  a  minstrelsie. 

"  Now  by  St.  Giles  of  Netherby,  my  patron  saint,  I  swear, 

I'd  rather  by  a  thousand  crowns  Lord  Palmerston  were  here  ! 


What  is't  ye  seek,  ye  rebel  knaves?  what  make  you  there  beneath  V 
"  The  bays,  the  bays  !  we  want  the  bays  !   we  seek  the  laureate  wreath  ! 
We  seek  the  butt  of  generous  wine  that  cheers  the  son  of  song  : 
Choose  thou  among  us  all.  Sir  Knight,— we  may  not  tarry  long  !" 

and  so  on.  Are  there  not  here  the  very  lilt  and  spirit  of  the  "  Battle  of  Ivry" 
and  other  noble  ballads  ?  But  even  better  is  the  "  Lay  of  the  Lovelorn,"  a 
burlesque  of  "  Locksley  Hall."     It  is  too  long  to  quote  entire,  but  here  is  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  867 

travesty  of  that  famous  passage  where  the  hero  threatens  to  go  ofT  and  marry 

a  savage  : 

There  the  passions,  cramped  no  longer,  shall  have  space  to  breathe,  my  cousin  ! 
I  will  take  some  savage  woman,— nay,  I'll  take  at  least  a  dozen. 
There  I'll  rear  my  young  mulattoes  as  no  Bond  Street  brats  are  reared: 
They  shall  dive  for  alligators,  catch  the  wild  goats  by  the  beard. 
Whistle  to  the  cockatoos,  and  mock  the  hairy-faced  baboon. 
Worship  mighty  Mumbo  Jumbo  in  the  Mountains  of  the  Moon. 

I  myself,  in  far  Timbuctoo,  leopards'  blood  will  daily  quaff. 

Ride  a  tiger-hunting,  mounted  on  a  thoroughbred  giraffe. 

Fiercely  shall  I  shout  the  war-whoop,  as  some  sullen  stream  he  crosses. 

Startling  from  their  noonday  slumbers  iron-bound  rhinoceroses. 

Fool  !  again  the-dream,  the  fancy  !     But  I  know  my  words  are  mad, 

For  I  hold  the  gray  barbarian  lower  than  the  Christian  cad. 

I,  the  swell,— the  city  dandy  !— I  to  seek  such  horrid  places,— 

1  to  haunt  with  squalid  negroes,  blubber-lips,  and  monkey-faces. 

I  to  wed  with  Coromantes  !— I,  who  managed — very  near — 
To  secure  the  heart  and  fortune  of  the  widow  Shillibeer ! 

Stuff  and  nonsense  !  let  me  never  fling  a  single  chance  away  : 
Maids  ere  now,  I  know,  have. loved  me,  and  another  maiden  may. 

Barham's  "  Ingoldsby  Legends"  has  this  admirable  imitation  of  "  The  Burial 
of  Sir  John  Moore  :" 

Not  a  sou  had  he  got, — not  a  guinea  or  note, — 

And  he  looked  most  confoundedly  flurried. 
As  he  bolted  away  without  paying  his  shot, 
And  the  landlady  after  him  hurried. 

We  saw  him  again  at  dead  of  night. 

When  home  from  the  club  returning  : 
We  twigged  the  Doctor  beneath  the  light 

Of  the  gas-lamp  brilliantly  burning. 

All  bare,  and  exposed  to  the  midnight  dews, 

Reclined  in  the  gutter  we  found  him. 
And  he  looked  like  a  gentleman  taking  a  snooze. 

With  his  Marshall  cloak  around  him. 

"  The  Doctor's  as  drunk  as  the  d— 1,"  we  said. 

And  we  managed  a  shutter  to  borrow.  ,.    ,       , 

We  raised  him,  and  sighed  at  the  thought  that  his  head 

Would  confoundedly  ache  on  the  morrow. 
We  bore  him  home  and  we  put  him  to  bed. 

And  we  told  his  wife  and  daughter 
To  give  him  next  morning  a  couple  of  red 

Herrings  with  soda-water. 
Loudly  they  talked  of  his  money  that's  gone. 

And  his  lady  began  to  upbraid  him  ; 
But  little  he  recked,  so  they  let  him  snore  on 

'Neath  the  counterpane,  just  as  we  laid  him. 

We  tucked  him  in,  and  had  hardly  done. 

When  beneath  the  window  calling 
We  heard  the  rough  voice  of  a  son  of  a  gun 

Of  a  watchman  "  One  o'clock"  bawling. 

Slowly  and  sadly  we  all  walked  down 

From  his  room  on  the  uppermost  story, 
A  rushlight  we  placed  on  the  cold  hearth-stone, 

And  we  left  him  alone  in  his  glory. 

This  parody  of  one  of  Wordsworth's  famous  poems  appeared  in  Henry  S. 
Leigh's  "  Carols  of  Cockayne  :" 


868  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Only  Seven. 

{a   pastoral   story,  after   WORDSWORTH.) 

I  marvelled  why  a  simple  child. 

That  lightly  draws  its  breath. 
Should  utter  groans  so  very  wild 

And  look  as  pale  as  death. 

Adopting  a  parental  tone, 

I  asked  her  why  she  cried  ; 
The  damsel  answered,  with  a  groan, 

"  I've  got  a  pain  inside. 

I  thought  it  would  have  sent  me  mad. 

Last  night  about  eleven." 
Said  I,  "  What  is  it  makes  you  bad? 
,      How  many  apples  have  you  had  ?" 

She  answered,  "  Only  seven  !" 

"  And  are  you  sure  you  took  no  more. 

My  little  maid?"  quoth  \. 
"  Oh,  please,  sir,  mother  gave  me  four. 

But  they  were  in  a  pie." 

"  If  that's  the  case,"  I  stammered  out, 

"  Of  course  you've  had  eleven." 
The  maiden  answered,  with  a  pout, 

"  I  ain't  had  more  nor  seven  !" 

I  wondered  hugely  what  she  meant. 

And  said,  *'  I'm  bad  at  riddles, 
But  I  know  where  little  girls  are  sent 

For  telling  taradiddles. 

Now,  if  you  don't  reform,"  said  I, 

"  You'll  never  go  to  heaven  !" 
But  all  in  vain  ;  each  time  I  try. 
The  little  idiot  makes  reply, 

"  I  ain't  had  more  nor  seven  1" 

POSTSCRIPT. 

To  borrow  Wordsworth's  name  was  wrong. 

Or  slightly  misapplied  ; 
And  so  I'd  better  call  my  song 

"  Lines  from  Ache-inside." 

From  the  same  author  we  take  the  following  burlesque  of  a  well-known 
passage  in  "  Lalla  Rookh  :" 

I  never  reared  a  young  gazelle 

(Because,  you  see,  I  never  tried)  ; 
But,  had  it  known  and  loved  me  well. 

No  doubt  the  creature  would  have  died. 
My  rich  and  aged  uncle  John 

Has  known  me  long  and  loves  me  well. 
But  still  persists  in  living  on. — 

I  would  he  were  a  young  gazelle  1 

I  never  loved  a  tree  or  flower ; 

But,  if  I  hcui,  I  beg  to  say. 
The  blight,  the  wind,  the  sun,  or  shower, 

•  Would  soon  have  withered  it  away. 
I've  dearly  loved  my  uncle  John 

From  childhood  till  the  present  hour, 
And  yet  he  will  go  living  on. — 

I  would  he  were  a  tree  or  flower  ! 

This  passage  has  always  proved  a  tempting  mark  for  the  parodist.  Here 
are  two  more  attempts,  the  first  by  C.  S.  Calverley,  the  second  from  an 
anonymous  source : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  869 

I  never  nursed  a  dear  gazelle  ; 

But  1  was  given  a  paroquet, — 
(How  I  did  nurse  him  if  unwell !) 

He's  imbecile,  but  lingers  yet. 
He's  green,  with  an  enchanting  tuft; 

He  melts  me  with  his  small  black  eye; 
He'd  look  inimitable  stuffed. 

And  knows  it, — but  he  will  not  die  ! 

Fly-Leav€t. 

I  never  had  a  piece  of  toast 

Particularly  long  and  wide. 
But  fell  upon  the  sanded  floor. 

And  always  on  the  buttered  side. 

Perhaps  the  best  of  all  English  parodists  was  C.  S.  Calverley.  His  "  Story 
of  a  Cock  and  Bull"  is  an  admirable  rifachneiito  of  Browning ;  but  it  is  too 
long  to  quote  here  entire.    Let  us  take  this  travesty  of  Tennyson's  "  Brook :" 

The  Tinker. 

I  loiter  down  by  thorp  and  town  ; 

For  any  job  I'm  willing ; 
Take  here  and  there  a  dusty  brown, 

And  here  and  there  a  shilling. 

I  deal  in  every  ware  in  turn : 

I've  rings  for  buddin'  Sally, 
That  sparkle  like  those  eyes  of  her'n; 

I've  liquor  for  the  valet. 

The  things  I've  done  'neath  moon  and  stats 

Have  got  me  into  messes  ; 
I've  seen  the  sky  through  prison  bars, 

I've  torn  up  prison  dresses. 

But  out  again  I  come,  and  show 

My  face,  nor  care  a  stiver  ; 
For  trades  are  brisk  and  trades  are  slow. 

But  mine  goes  on  forever ; 

and  this  evident  skit  at  Jean  Ingelow  : 

In  moss-prankt  dells  which  the  sunbeams  flatter 
(And  Heaven  it  knoweth  what  that  may  mean; 

Meaning,  however,  is  no  great  matter). 

Where  woods  are  a-tremble,  with  rifts  atween, 

Through  God's  own  heather  we  wonned  together, 

I  and  my  Willie  (O  love,  my  love !) : 
I  need  hardly  remark  it  was  glorious  weather. 

And  flitter-bats  wavered  alow,  above. 

Boats  were  curtsying,  rising,  bowing 

(Boats  in  that  climate  are  so  polite). 
And  sands  were  a  ribbon  of  green  endowing. 

And  O  the  sun-dazzle  on  bark  and  bight  I 

Through  the  rare  red  heather  we  danced  together 

(O  love,  my  Willie ! )  and  smelt  for  flowers  ; 
I  must  mention  again  it  was  glorious  weather. 

Rhymes  are  so  scarce  in  this  world  of  ours. 

The  "  Heptalogia,  or  the  Seven  against  Sense,"  has  already  been  mentioned. 
It  is  attributed  to  Swinburne,  and  the  evidence  is  sufficient  to  convict  him. 
But  he  has  never  acknowledged  it.  Indeed,  he  attempted  to  throw  the  detec- 
tive off  the  track  by  a  parody  of  his  own  manner  and  style,  which  we  have 
quoted  under  Alliteration.  A  portion  of  his  parody  on  Owen  Meredith 
appears  in  our  article  on  Plagiarism.  Here  is  a  clever  take-off  on  "  The 
New  Pantheism"  of  Tennyson  : 

73* 


870  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  Higher  Pantheism 

(in  a  nutshell). 
One,  who  is  not,  we  see ;  but  one  whom  we  see  not,  is  : 
Surely  this  is  not  that  ;  but  that  is  assuredly  this. 

What,  and  wherefore,  and  whence?  for  under  is  over  and  under: 

If  thunder  could  be  without  lightning,  lightning  could  be  without  thunder. 

Doubt  is  faith  in  the  main  ;  but  faith,  on  the  whole,  is  doubt : 
We  cannot  believe  by  proof;  but  could  we  believe  without? 

Why,  and  whither,  and  how?  for  barley  and  r>'e  are  not  clover: 
Neither  are  straight  lines  curves  :  yet  over  is  under  and  over. 

Two  and  two  may  be  four ;  but  four  and  four  are  not  eight : 
Fate  and  God  may  be  twain  ;  but  God  is  the  same  thing  as  fate. 

Ask  a  man  what  he  thinks,  and  get  from  a  man  what  he  feels : 
God,  once  caught  in  the  fact,  shows  you  a  clean  pair  of  heels. 

Body  and  spirit  are  twins  :  God  only  knows  %vhich  is  which  : 
The  soul  squats  down  in  the  flesh,  like  a  tinker  drunk  in  a  ditch. 

One  and  two  are  not  one  ;  but  one  and  nothing  is  two  : 
Truth  can  hardly  be  false,  if  falsehood  cannot  be  true. 

Once  the  mastodon  was  :  pterodactyls  were  common  as  cocks : 
Then  the  mammoth  was  God  :  now  is  He  a  prize  ox. 

Parallels  all  things  are  :  yet  many  of  these  are  askew  : 
You  are  certainly  I  ;  but  certainly  I  am  not  you. 

Springs  the  cock  from  the  plain,  shoots  the  stream  from  the  rock: 
Cocks  exist  for  the  hen,  but  hens  exist  for  the  cock. 

God,  whom  we  see  not,  is  ;  and  God,  who  is  not,  we  see  : 
Fiddle  we  know  is  diddle ;  and  diddle,  we  take  it,  is  dee. 

Swinburne  has  been  parodied  by  others  besides  himself.  Here  is  an  efifort 
by  Mortimer  Collins  : 

If. 

If  life  were  never  bitter. 

And  love  were  always  sweet. 
Then  who  would  care  to  borrow 
A  moral  from  to-morrow  ? 
If  Thames  would  always  glitter. 

And  joy  would  ne'er  retreat. 
If  life  were  never  bitter. 

And  love  were  always  sweet. 

If  care  were  not  the  waiter 

Behind  a  fellow's  chair. 
When  easy-going  sinners 
Sit  down  to  Richmond  dinners. 
And  life's  swift  stream  goes  straighter, — 

By  Jove,  it  would  be  rare. 
If  care  were  not  the  waiter 

Behind  a  fellow's  chair. 

If  wit  were  always  radiant. 

And  wine  were  always  iced. 
And  bores  were  kicked  out  straightway 
Through  a  convenient  gateway. 
Then  down  the  year's  long  gradient 

'Twere  sad  to  be  enticed. 
If  wit  were  always  radiant. 

And  wine  were  always  iced. 

Another  very  good  parody  is  contained  in  the  "  Shotover  Papers,"  contrib- 
uted to  by  members  of  the'  University  of  Cambridge.  The  procuratores,  it 
should  be  explained,  are  a  sort  of  university  police  : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  87 1 

Oh,  vestment  of  velvet  and  virtue, 

Oh,  venomous  victors  of  vice, 
Who  hurt  men  who  never  have  hurt  you, 

Oh,  calm,  cold,  crueller  than  ice. 
Why  vi-ilfully  wage  you  this  war?  is 

All  pity  purged  out  of  your  breast? 
Oh,  purse-prigging  procuratores, 
Oh,  pitiless  pest ! 

We  had  smote  and  made  redder  than  roses. 

With  juice  not  of  fruit  nor  of  bud, 
The  truculent  townspeople's  noses. 

And  bathed  brutal  butchers  in  blood  ; 
And  we  all  aglow  in  our  glories 

Heard  you  not  in  the  deafening  din  ; 
And  ye  came,  O  ye  procuratores. 
And  ran  us  all  in ! 

Another  sample  from  the  "  Shotover  Papers"  burlesques  the  Laureate : 

Break,  break,  break ! 

My  cups  and  saucers,  O  scout ; 
And  I'm  glad  that  my  tongue  can't  utter 

The  oaths  that  my  soul  points  out. 

It  is  well  for  the  china-shop  man, 

Who  gets  a  fresh  order  each  day  ; 
And  it's  deucedly  well  for  yoursejf. 

Who  are  in  tire  said  china-man's  pay. 

And  my  stately  vases  go 

To  your  uncle's,  I  ween,  to  be  cashed; 
And  it's  oh  for  the  light  of  my  broken  lamp. 

And  the  tick  of  my  clock  that  is  smashed. 

Break,  break,  break ! 

At  the  foot  of  my  stairs  in  glee ; 
But  the  coin  I  have  spent  in  glass  that  is  cracked 

Will  never  come  back  to  me. 

William  Sawyer  is  responsible  for  this  outrage  upon  another  song  in  "  The 
Princess :" 

The  Recognition. 

Home  they  brought  her  sailor  son. 

Grown  a  man  across  the  sea. 
Tall  and  broad  and  black  of  beard. 

And  hoarse  of  voice  as  man  may  be. 

Hand  to  shake  and  mouth  to  kiss. 

Both  he  offered  ere  he  spoke  ; 
And  she  said,  "  What  man  is  this 

Comes  to  play  a  sorry  joke  ?" 
Then  they  praised  him, — called  him  "  smart," 

"  Tightest  lad  that  ever  stept ;" 
But  her  son  she  did  not  know, 

And  she  neither  smiled  nor  wept. 
Rose,  a  nurse  of  ninety  years. 

Set  a  pigeon-pie  in  sight ; 
She  saw  him  eat :— *'  'Tis  he  !  'tis  he  I" 

She  knew  him— by  his  appetite  ! 

Here  is  a  fragment  from  Shirley  Brooks's  "  Wit  and  Humor,"  which  glances 


Here  is  a  fragment  from  Shirley  Brooks's  " 
humorously  at  the  "  Idylls  of  the  King  :" 


The  blameless  king 
Rising  again  (to  Lancelot's  discontent. 
Who  held  all  speeches  a  tremendous  bore), 
Said,  "  If  one  duty  to  be  done  remains. 
And  'tis  neglected,  all  the  rest  is  nought 
But  Dead  Sea  apples  and  the  acts  of  Apes." 
Smiled  Guinevere,  and  begged  him  not  to  preach ; 


872  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

She  knew  that  duty,  and  it  should  be  done  : 
So  what  of  pudding  on  that  festal  night 
Was  not  consumed  by  Arthur  and  his  guests, 
The  queen  upon  the  following  morning  fried. 

If,  as  we  have  said,  Calverley  is  by  common  consent  the  greatest  of  English 
parodists,  yet  surely  Lewis  Carroll,  in  the  few  examples  scattered  about  his 
"  Alice"  books,  presses  him  hard  for  the  place.  It  is  only  because  they 
are  so  few  that  they  are  not  taken  into  more  serious  account.  •  What  can  be 
better  than  the  parody  on  Southey's  "  Father  William"  ? — 
"  You  are  old,  Father  William,"  the  young  man  said, 

"  And  your  hair  has  become  very  white  ; 

And  yet  you  incessantly  stand  on  yoiu-  head. 

Do  you  think,  at  your  age,  it  is  right?" 

"  In  my  youth,"  Father  William  replied  to  his  son, 

"  I  feared  it  might  injure  the  brain  ; 
But  now  I  am  perfectly  sure  I  have  none. 

Why,  I  do  it  again  and  again  !" 

"  You  are  old,"  said  the  youth,  "  and  your  jaws  are  too  weak 

For  anything  tougher  than  suet ; 
Yet  you  finished  the  goose,  with  the  bones  and  the  beak  : 

Pray,  how  did  you  manage  to  do  it?'' 

"  In  my  youth,"  said  his  father,  "  I  took  to  the  law, 

And  argued  each  case  with  my  wife  ; 
And  the  muscular  strength  which  it  gave  to  my  jaw 
Has  lasted  the  rest  of  my  life." 
And  what  admirable  fooling  in  these  lines  ! — 

How  doth  the  little  crocodile 

Improve  his  shining  tail, 
And  pour  the  waters  of  the  Nile 
On  everj'  shining  scale  ! 

How  cheerfully  he  seems  to  grin. 

How  neatly  spreads  his  claws. 
And  welcomes  little  fishes  in 

With  gently  smiling  jaws  ! 

Bret  Harte  has  given  a  good  imitation  of  Poe's  "  Ulalume"  in  "  The  Wil- 
lows," from  which  there  follows  an  extract : 

But  Mary,  uplifting  her  finger. 

Said,  "  Sadly  this  bar  I  mistrust, — 

I  fear  that  this  bar  does  not  trust. 
Oh,  hasten — oh,  let  us  not  linger — 

Oh.  fly — let  us  fly — ere  we  must !" 
In  terror  she  cried,  letting  sink  her 

Parasol  till  it  trailed  in  the  dust, — 
In  agony  sobbed,  letting  sink  her 

Parasol  till  it  trailed  in  the  dust, — 

Till  it  sorrowfully  trailed  in  the  dust. 

Then  I  pacified  Mary  and  kissed  her. 

And  tempted  her  into  the  room. 

And  conquered  her  scruples  and  gloom ; 
And  we  passed  to  the  end  of  the  vista. 

But  were  stopped  by  the  warning  of  doom, — 
By  some  words  that  were  warning  of  doom. 

And  I  said,  "  What  is  written,  sweet  sister. 

At  the  opposite  end  of  the  room?" 
She  sobbed  as  she  answered,  "  All  liquors 

Must  be  paid  for  ere  leaving  the  room." 

Bayard  Taylor's  "  Diversions  of  the  Echo  Club"  contains  some  very  good 
work  in  this  line.  In  our  article  on  "  Autographs"  we  quoted  a  stanza  from 
his  parody  on  Poe.  That  on  Joaquin  Miller  is  quite  as  good.  The  finale  is 
capital : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  873 

She's  now  the  mistress  of  Buffalo  Bill, 
And  pure  as  the  heart  of  a  lily  still  ; 
While  I've  killed  all  who  have  cared  for  me. 
And  I'm  just  as  lonely  as  I  can  be  : 
So,  pass  the  whiskey, — we'll  have  a  spree  ! 
Longfellow's  "  Hiawatha"  was  once  a  favorite  subject  for  parody.     Here  is 
a  bit  from  an  anonymous  effort : 

He  killed  the  noble  Mudjokivis, 

With  the  skin  he  made  him  mittens. 

Made  them  with  the  fur  side  inside  ; 

Made  them  with  the  skin  side  outside; 

He,  to  get  the  warm  side  inside. 

Put  the  inside  skin  side  outside. 

He,  to  get  the  cold  side  outside, 

Put  the  warm  side,  fur  side  inside  ; 

That's  why  he  put  the  fur  side  inside," 

Why  he  put  the  skin  side  outside, 

Why  he  turned  them  inside  outside. 

When  the  nomination  of  General  Butler  for  governor  of  Massachusetts  was 
first  proposed,  the  Boston  Post  came  out  as  follows  : 

Of  all  sad  words  of  tongue  or  pen. 

The  saddest  are  these,  we  may  have  Ben ! 
But  when  it  was  definitely  settled  that  the  general  would  not  be  the  candidate 
of  his  party  for  that  campaign  at  least,  the  Post  gleefully  exclaimed, — 

Of  all  glad  words  of  tongue  or  pen. 

The  gladdest  are  these,  we  shan't  have  Ben  ! 
In  one  of  the  earlier  Orpheus  C.  Kerr  papers  was  a  series  of  "  Rejected 
National    Hymns;"  in    the   poem  attributed  to  Mr.  Bryant,  from  the   first 
line— 

The  sun  sinks  slowly  to  his  evening  post — 

it  was  evident  that  the  poet  had  endeavored  to  sneak  in  an  advertisement  of 
the  newspaper  which  he  edited. 

This  anonymous  skit  has  some  merit : 

The  melancholy  days  have  come. 

The  saddest  of  the  year, 
Too  warm,  alas  !  for  whiskey  punch, 
Too  cold  for  lager  beer ; 
and  so  has  this  : 

O  kittens,  in  our  hours  of  ease 
Uncertain  toys,  and  full  of  fleas  ! 
When  pain  and  anguish  hang  o'er  men. 
We  turn  you  into  sausage  then  : 

which  recalls  a  parody  on  "  Beautiful  Snow"  that  once  went  the  routid  of  the 
papers.  It  was  said  to  have  been  copied  from  the  placard  of  a  Milwaukee 
sausage-maker  : 

Oh,  the  pup,  the  beautiful  pup  ! 
Drinking  his  milk  from  a  china  cup  ; 
Gambolling  round  so  frisky  and  free. 
First  gnawing  a  bone,  then  biting  a  flea ; 
Jumping, 

Running, 

After  the  pony. 
Beautiful  pup,  you  will  soon  be  bolony ! 

And  here  from  the  Lowell  Sunday  Arena  is  a  good  "take-off"  on  one  of  the 
best  of  Kipling's  ballads  : 

Danny  Dolan. 

"What  is  that  chap  a-growlin'  for?"  said  Cop-on-beat. 

"  They've  thrown  him  out,  they've  thrown  him  out,"  the  loafer  said,  discreet. 

"What  makes  him  cuss  and  swear  so?"  said  Cop-on-beat.  ^^ 

"  They've  kicked  him  out,"  the  loafer  said ;  "  he  didn't  pay  his  treat.' 


874  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

For  he  hung  up  Danny  Dolan  in  a  playful  kind  of  way, 
And  he  swiped  a  dozen  schooners  witii  "  I'll  pay  some  other  day." 
He's  taken  shingles  iff  the  house,  an'  worked  ihe  slate,  ttiey  say. 
He's  been  hangiu'  Danny  Dolan  up  since  morning. 

*'  What  makes  him  swear  and  breathe  so  'ard  !"  said  Cop-on-beat. 
"  He's  got  the  Jims,  he's  got  the  jams,"  the  loafer  said,  discreet. 
"  What  makes  him  stagger  an'  fall  down?"  said  Cop-on-beat. 
"  A  touch  of  rum,  a  touch  of  rum,"  the  loafer  said,  "  an'  neat." 
For  he  hung  up  D.inny  Dolau,  sayin',  "  Put  it  on  the  ice." 
Yes,  he  stood  up  Danny  Dolan  by  a  curious  device. 
He  shook  him  lor  the  drinks  all  round,  an'  worked  in  loaded  dice. 
He's  been  hangiu'  Danny  Dolan  up  since  morning. 

"  Dan's  place  is  on  this  route  of  mine,"  said  Cop-on-beat. 
"  It's  got  a  little  side  door,  too,"  the  loafer  said,  discreet. 
"  I've  drunk  his  beer  a  score  of  limes,"  said  Cop-on-beat. 
"  An'  you  settled,"  said  the  loafer,  '"  like  this  fellow  for  your  treat." 
Yes,  he's  hung  up  Danny  Dolan,  takin'  profit  from  the  place. 
An'  I  know  where  he'll  be  sleepin'  when  I  look  him  in  the  face. 
Ill  ring  in  the  patrol-wagon  :   I  must  wipe  out  this  disgrace. 
He's  been  hangin'  Danny  Dolan  up  since  morning. 

"  What's  that  so  black  against  his  name  ?"  said  Copon-beat. 
"  Disorderly  an'  drunk,  I  think,"  the  loafer  said,  discreet.  ■ 
"  What's  that  that  whimpers  underneath?"  said  Cop-on-beat, 
"  They're  lockin'  up,"  the  loafer  said,  "  an  ornery  dead  beat." 
For  he's  done  up  Danny  Dolan  in  a  playful  kind  of  way. 
To-morrow  he'll  look  solemn  when  a  fine  he  has  to  pay  ; 
As  he  hasn't  got  the  cash,  in  jail  for  thirty  days  he'll  stay. 
For  he  hung  up  Danny  Dolan  in  the  morning. 

Party  is  the  madness  of  many  for  the  gain  of  the  few,  an  admira- 
ble definition  by  Pope  in  "Tlioughts  on  Various  Subjects."  It  was  Pope 
also  who,  in  his  last  letter  to  the  Bishop  of  Rochester  (Atterbury),  said, — 

At  this  time,  when  you  are  cut  off  from  a  little  society  and  made  a  citizen  of  the  world  at 
large,  you  should  bend  your  talents,  not  to  serve  a  party  or  a  few,  but  all  mankind. 

It  is  not  impossible  that  Goldsmith  had  this  sentiment  floating  in  his  mind 
when  he  wrote  his  famous  description  of  Burke  : 

Who,  born  for  the  universe,  narrowed  his  mind. 
And  to  party  gave  up  what  was  meant  for  mankind  ; 
Though  fraught  with  all  learning,  yet  straining  his  throat 
To  persuade  Tommy  Townshend  to  lend  him  a  vote. 

Retaliation. 
As  a  curious  double  coincidence,  President  Rutherford  B.  Hayes's  famous 
maxim   in   his  Inaugural  Address,  March  5,  1877,  "  He  serves  his  party  best 
who  serves   the  country  best,"  is   an   obvious  imitation  of  another  line  of 
Pope's : 

He  serves  me  most  who  serves  his  country  best. 

Homer's  Iliad,  Book  x.,  1.  201. 

Pasquinades,  a  general  name  for  a  lampoon  or  a  satire,  but  more  spe- 
cifically and  originally  the  name  given  by  modern  Romans  to  the  anonymous 
lampoons  surreptitiously  hung  upon  the  statue  of  Pasquino.  This  statue  needs 
a  word  by  itself.  It  stands  at  an  angle  of  the  Palazzo  Orsini  in  Rome,  in  the 
square  to  which  it  has  given  its  name.  It  is  a  mere  torso, — armless,  with 
amputated  legs.  Yet,  though  thus  maimed  and  mutilated,  it  is  full  of  beauty. 
Indeed,  when  Bernini,  himself  a  sculptor,  was  asked  which  was  the  finest 
statue  in  Rome,  he  answered,  without  hesitation,  "  Pasquino."  As  to  what 
it  represents,  no  one  knows.  Antiquaries,  however,  have  embittered  their 
ignorance  by  issueless  discussions  as  to  whether  it  was  a  Fighting  Gladiator, 
a  Hercules,  an  Ajax,  or  a  Patroclus  bearing  up  a  Menelaus.  Authentic  his- 
tory tells  us  that  it  was  discovered  about  the  year  1503  near  one  of  the 
entrances  of  the  ancient  amphitheatre  of  Alexander  Severus.     And  whence 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  875 

its  name?  Authentic  history  is  silent.  Yet  tradition,  which  has  received 
the  conditional  sanction  of  history, — a  tradition  that  crept  into  quasi-authentic 
print  so  far  back  as  1560,  when  it  is  mentioned  by  Antonio  Barotti,-:— tra- 
dition affirms  that  the  statue  takes  its  name  from  one  Maestro  Pasquino,  a 
young  tailor  of  great  cleverness  who  flourished  at  the  end  of  the  fifteenth 
century.  He  was  careless  and  bold  of  speech,  freely  satirizing  Popes,  cardi- 
nals, and  noblemen,  and  his  jests  were  taken  up  and  repeated" by  the  men  in 
his  employ.  When,  therefore,  any  person  of  rank  and  authority  wished  to 
relate  an  anecdote  against  some  one  in  power,  he  fathered  it  upon  Pasquino, 
who^e  insignificance  protected  him  from  vengeance.  Gradually  all  lampoons 
and  satires  upon  the  pontifical  court  were  attributed  to  the  same  person. 
But  in  time  Pasquino  died,  and  left  no  successor.  It  was  at  this  very  juncture 
that  the  statue  was  opportunely  discovered.  The  people  immediately  labelled 
it  Pasquino,  and  endowed  it  with  the  characteristics  of  its  eponyme.  But,  as 
the  dumb  statue  could  not  speak,  it  was  feigned  that  he  wrote  all  his  biting 
satires,  and  these  would  be  found  on  placards  hung  about  his  person. 

Pasquino  was  not  the  only  figure  in  Rome  who  gave  expression  to  the 
thoughts  and  feelings  which  could  not  have  been  proclaimed  openly  and 
safely  by  human  beings.  His  most  distinguished  companion  was  (and  is) 
Marforio,  another  mutilated  torso,  of  gigantic  stature,  evidently  representing 
an  ocean-  or  river-god,  which  was  found  in  the  sixteenth  century  near  the 
Forum  of  Mars, — whence  its  name.  Marforio  was  rarely  or  never  the  original 
spokesman,  but  he  often  carried  on  dialogues  with  Pasquino.  A  third  party, 
a  so-called  Facchino,  or  Porter,  in  the  Piazza  Piombino,  occasionally  joined  in 
the  conversation.  Sprenger,  in  his  "  Roma  Nova,"  1660,  tells  us  that  in  his 
day  Pasquino  was  the  spokesman  of  the  nobles,  Marforio  of  the  citizens, 
and  Facchino  of  the  commonalty.  But  the  distinction  was  not  very  nicely 
observed  ;  indeed,  as  a  rule,  Pasquino  had  a  large  and  humanitarian  interest 
in  all  ranks  and  classes  of  his  fellow-citizens. 

The  first  true  pasquinades — that  is,  the  first  of  the  epigrams  which  were 
affixed  to  Pasquin  and  hence  derived  their  name — belonged  to  the  reign  of 
Leo  X.,  though  satires  on  previous  Popes  have  been  retrospectively  grouped 
under  the  same  general  head.  The  character  of  these  Leonine  pasquinades 
is  generally  so  coarse  as  to  render  them  unfit  for  publication.  One  only,  and 
a  very  cruel  one,  may  be  singled  out.  When  Leo  died  it  was  currently  re- 
ported that  he  had  not  received  the  last  sacraments  of  the  Church.  Pasquin, 
whose  two  favorite  topics  had  been  the  immorality  and  venality  of  the  papal 
court,  came  out  with  this  epigram  :  "  Do  you  ask  why  at  the  last  hour 
Leo  could  not  take  the  sacrament  .■'  He  had  sold  it."  On  the  death  of 
Clement  VH.,  popularly  attributed  to  malpractice  at  the  hands  of  his  physi- 
cian, Matteo  Curzio  or  Curtius,  Pasquin  gleefully  said,  "Curtius  has  killed 
Clement.  Curtius,  who  has  secured  the  public  health,  should  be  rewarded." 
In  a  longer  epigram  he  detailed  a  bitter  struggle  that  had  arisen  between 
Pluto  and  St.  Peter  as  to  which  should  not  possess  the  pontifical  soul. 
Each  sought  to  force  the  unwilling  gift  upon  the  other.  Peter  had  no  use 
for  Clement  in  heaven,  Pluto  feared  the  disturbance  he  would  make  in  hell. 
The  quarrel  was  cut  short  by  the  Pope  himself,  who  declared  that  he  would 
force  his  way  into  hell  : 

Tartara  tentemus,  facilis  descensus  Averni. 

With  the  advent  of  the  Reformation  a  much  wider  career  was  opened  to 
Pasquin.  In  1544  a  stout  little  volume  appeared,  bearing  the  title  "  Pas- 
quillorum,  Tomi  duo."  It  consisted  of  satires,  epigrams,  and  lampoons, 
many  being  actual  pasquinades,  many  more  being  fugitive  pieces  of  the 
same  anti-papal  character.     Pasquin's  renown  was  now  heralded  all  over 


876  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Europe,  and  the  name  pasquil  or  pasquinade  passed  into  the  general  vocab- 
ulary of  modern  languages  as  the  synonyme  for  any  species  of  epigrammatic 
lampoon. 

At  Rome,  however,  Pasquin  continued  to  be  the  spokesman  of  the  opposi- 
tion, and,  indeed,  he  has  not  altogether  lost  his  old  habits  even  in  the  present 
day  of  Italian  unity.  Sixtus  V.  was  the  most  frequently  and  most  tartly  pas- 
quinaded.  That  pontiff,  a  sort  of  Baron  Haussniann  in  his  way,  had  a  great 
mania  for  building, — especially  fountains.  It  was  he  who  erected  the  fountain 
of  Monte  Cavallo  and  the  Fontana  Felice.  Pasquin  parodied  the  inscription 
Pontifex  maximus  placed  upon  all  these  constructions,  and  made  of  it  Foittifex 
maxitmis  ("great  builder  of  fountains"). 

A  soldier  of  the  Swiss  papal  guard  having  once,  in  the  cathedral  of  St. 
Peter,  struck  a  Spanish  nobleman  with  his  halberd,  the  latter  in  indignation 
returned  the  blow  with  his  stick,  but  so  roughly  that  the  Swiss  died  of  the 
wound  the  same  morning.  The  Pope  at  once  sent  to  the  governor  of  Rome, 
and  told  him  that  he  expected  to  see  justice  done  that  very  afternoon,  "before 
I  sit  down  to  dinner,"  he  added,  "and  I  intend  dining  early."  The  Spanish 
ambassador  and  four  cardinals  shortly  after  arrived  at  the  Vatican  to  sue  for 
the  pardon  of  the  culprit  on  the  ground  of  the  provocation  he  had  received  ; 
but  Sixtus  was  inflexible.  "Grant  at  least,  Holy  Father,"  then  asked  the 
ambassador,  "that  the  unhappy  man  be  beheaded  and  not  hanged,  for  he  is 
of  gentle  blood."  "  He  shall  be  hanged,  he  shall  be  hanged,"  cried  the  Pope  ; 
"  but  if  the  shame  of  this  mode  of  death  can  in  any  way  be  alleviated  by  my 
attendance  at  the  execution,  the  man  shall  die  in  my  presence."  The  gibbet 
was  accordingly  erected  in  front  of  the  pontifical  windows.  Sixtus  V.  came 
out  upon  the  lialcony,  witnessed  without  wincing  the  whole  of  the  revolting 
scene,  and  when  it  was  over  said  grimly  to  his  attendants,  "And  now  bring 
me  to  eat ;  this  act  of  justice  has  given  me  an  appetite." 

The  next  day,  Marforio  asked  of  Pasquin  whither  he  was  hurrying,  thus 
loaded  with  gibbets,  wheels,  whips,  and  axes.  "Oh,  it's  nothing,"  answered 
Pasquin ;  "  I  am  only  carrying  a  stew  to  stimulate  the  Holy  Father's  appe- 
tite." 

Sixtus,  brutal  as  he  usually  was,  yet  put  up,  as  a  rule,  with  the  jokes  and 
criticisms  of  Pasquin.  On  one  occasion  only  did  he  seek  revenge.  He  had 
a  sister,  whom  he  dearly  loved,  named  Camilla  Peretti  ;  but  among  other 
loose  things  that  were  said  of  her,  it  was  reported  that  at  the  time  when  her 
brother  had  been  a  poor  monk  she  had  washed  linen  to  earn  her  living. 
One  morning,  Pasquin  appeared  with  a  very  dirty  shirt  on.  "Halloo!" 
exclaimed  Marforio;  "why  such  unclean  linen,  Pasquino  .i*"  "I  have  no 
laundress,"  was  the  piteous  answer,  "ever  since  the  Pope  has  made  a  princess 
of  mine."  After  useless  endeavors  to  discover  the  author  of  this  pitiless  joke, 
Sixtus  offered  a  thousand  crowns  and  a  promise  that  the  culprit's  life  would 
be  spared,  if  he  would  give  himself  up  at  once.  Tempted  out  of  prudence  by 
the  magnitude  of  the  reward,  the  author  revealed  himself.  "  You  shall  not 
be  hanged,"  said  the  Pope  to  him  in  fury,  "  and  you  shall  have  your  reward 
too  ;  but  we  are  going  to  pluck  out  your  tongue,  and  to  cut  off  your  hands,  to 
teach  you  how  to  moderate  yourself  for  the  future."  And  this  inhuman  order 
was  executed.  It  is  as  well  to  note,  however,  that  the  story  is  not  generally 
accepted  by  historians. 

It  would  be  impossible  to  relate  the  whole  or  even  the  principal  of  Pas- 
quin's  innumerable  concetti:  for  every  day  and  every  hour  something  new 
was  written,  carved,  or  chalked  upon  his  pedestal.  If  political  topics  failed, 
there  were  always  social  scandals  and  gossipings  in  plenty  ;  and  it  was  not 
only  the  rich  and  powerful  who  dreaded  his  sting.  He  was  absolutely  incor- 
ruptible.   He  could  not  be  bribed  or  threatened  into  silence.     "  Great  sums," 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  877 

he  proudly  said,  addressing  himself  to  Paul  III., — "great  sums  were  formerly 
given  to  poets  for  singing  ;  how  much  will  you  give  me,  O  Paul,  to  be  silent  ?" 

On  the  authority  of  Paulus  Jovius,  Adrian  VI.,  successor  to  Leo  X.,  had 
almost  made  up  his  mind  to  silence  Pasquin  forever.  Indeed,  he  actually 
proposed  to  throw  him  into  the  Tiber.  But  the  Spanish  legate  dissuaded 
him.  "  If  you  do  this,"  said  he,  "all  the  frogs  in  the  river,  becoming  infected 
with  the  spirit  of  Pasquin,  will  adopt  his  style  of  speech,  and  croak  only  pas- 
quinades. The  very  contemptibleness  of  the  fellow  makes  him  the  more  to  be 
dreaded.  Did  not  the  very  reeds  reveal  the  secret  of  Midas  ?"  Whether 
this  reasoning  convinced  the  pontiff,  or  whether  wiser  reflection  showed 
him  that  all  the  public  monuments  of  Rome  would  one  by  one  have  to  follow 
Pasquin  into  the  river  in  order  to  deprive  him  of  a  successor,  certain  it  is  that 
Adrian  desisted  from  his  project. 

A  pasquinade  which  has  been  highly  commended  for  its  imaginative  wit  is 
that  which  greeted  the  papal  excommunication  of  all  who  took  snuff  in  the 
churches  of  Seville.  This  was  in  the  pontificate  of  Urban  VIII.  (1623-1644). 
Straightway  Pasquin  came  out  with  the  following  verse  from  Job  (xiii.  25)  : 
"Contra  folium  quod  vento  rapitur,  ostendis  potentiam  tuam  ?  et  stipulam 
siccam  persequeris  V  which  the  Authorized  Version  translates,  "  Wilt  thou 
break  a  leaf  driven  to  and  fro  ?  and  wilt  thou  pursue  the  dry  stubble .?" 

Coleridge  also  quotes  as  a  fine  example  of  wit  the  pasquinade  upon  the 
Pope  who  had  employed  a  committee  to  rip  up  the  errors  of  his  predecessors  : 

"  Some  one  placed  a  pair  of  spurs  upon  the  statue  of  St.  Peter,  and  a  label 
upon  the  opposite  statue  of  St.  Paul. 

"6"^.  Paul.   Whither,  then,  are  you  bound  ? 

".S"/.  Peter.  I  apprehend  danger  here;  they'll  soon  call  me  in  question  for 
denying  my  Master. 

'■''St.  Paul.  Nay,  then,  I  had  better  be  off,  too;  for  they'll  question  me  for 
having  persecuted  the  Christians  before  my  conversion."  (Lectures  upon  Shake- 
speare and  other  Dratnatists.) 

This  shows,  what  was  in  fact  the  truth,  that  other  statues  besides  the  ones 
we  have  mentioned  were  at  rare  intervals  used  for  the  purposes  of  pas- 
quinade. 

In  1808,  when  the  French  troops  entered  Rome  to  garrison  it,  after  Napo- 
leon's imprisonment  of  Pius  VII.,  Pasquin  asked  Marforio  whether  the  French 
were  not  a  herd  of  brigands.  Next  morning  Marforio  answered,  "  Non  tutti, 
ma  buona  parte"  ("  Not  all,  but  a  good  part  of  them").  This  pun  on  Bonaparte's 
name  has  been  attributed  to  many  other  humorists. 

Pasteboard,  in  English  and  American  society  slang,  a  visiting-card.  "To 
pasteboard"  or  "  to  shoot  a  p.  b."  means  to  leave  a  card. 

"  Lady  Clavering  is  going  out  for  her  drive,"  the  Major  said.  "  We  shall  only  have  to 
leave  our  pasteboards,  Arthur."  He  used  the  word  "  pasteboards,"  having  heard  it  from  some 
of  the  ingenious  youth  of  the  nobility  about  town,  and  as  a  modern  phrase  suited  to  Pen's 
tender  years. — Thackekav  :  Pendennis,  ch.  xxxvi. 

Pasters,  a  contrivance  used  by  the  candidates  for  popular  suffrage  to 
facilitate  individual  voting  or  "scratching"  {q.  v.)  in  their  favor.  They  are 
sheets  of  gum-backed  paper,  divided  into  very  narrow  strips  by  perforated 
lines  to  enable  them  to  be  readily  torn  off  for  use  ;  each  of  the  narrow  strips 
into  which  it  is  subdivided  bears  the  name  of  the  candidate  providing  it  and 
distributing  it  at  the  polls,  and  its  object  is  to  invite  and  enable  voters  to  sub- 
stitute, by  pasting  over,  his  name  for  some  other  of  the  several  names  on  the 
same  ballot. 

Patch.  In  colloquial  English,  when  comparing  an  inferior  person  or  tb.iiig 
to  a  superior,  it  is  very  usual  to  say  that  the  one  is  not  a  patch  upon  the  other, 

74 


878  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

— obviously  meaning  that  it  is  so  far  inferior  as  not  even  to  be  worthy  of 
being  used  as  a  patch.  A  phrase  that  sounds  similar,  yet  is  in  fact  different 
in  meaning,  is  much  used  in  western  England  :  "  Don't  put  a  patch  upon  it," 
— i.e.,  "  Don't  make  an  excuse  for  it,"  or  "  Don't  make  the  matter  worse"  by 
adding  something  to  make  the  fault  look  less  of  a  fault.    Thus,  Shakespeare  : 

Oftentimes,  excusing  of  a  fault 
Dolh  make  the  fault  the  worse  by  the  excuse; 
As  patches  set  upon  a  little  breach 
Discredit  more  in  hiding  of  the  fault 
Than  did  the  fault  before  it  was  so  patched. 

Kin^  yolin.  Act  iv.,  Sc.  2. 

Patched  Breeches,  a  nickname  given  to  Governor  William  L.  Marcy,  of 
New  York,  in  an  unfriendly  spirit.  It  was  alleged  against  him  that  he  had 
permitted  the  amount  of  a  personal  tailor's  bill  to  be  included  in  an  appropri- 
ation and  to  be  paid  out  of  State  funds. 

Patched-up  Peace,  also  called  "  Ill-grounded  Peace"  and  "  Lame  and  Un- 
stable Peace,"  is  the  name  by  which  the  treaty  is  known,  concluded  in  1568, 
between  Charles  IX.  of  France  and  the  Huguenots  at  Longjumeau.  It  was 
so  called  from  the  precipitancy  with  which  it  was  concluded  and  the  want  of 
confidence  felt  on  both  sides  of  its  stability. 

Patronage.  In  the  language  of  politics,  patronage  is  ordinarily  understood 
to  be  the  benefits  in  the  way  of  appointments  into  the  civil  service  which 
any  public  office  enables  its  occupant  to  bestow.  Ordinarily,  too,  the  power 
of  appointment  is  with  the  executive  department  and  its  administrative  sub- 
divisions, and  in  America  the  term  has  sometimes,  in  popular  use,  among  the 
lower  order  of  politicians,  obtained  a  most  ludicrous  extension,  by  which  it 
signifies  the  power  of  appointment  of  anybody  to  do  any  service,  so  it  be 
paid  for  out  of  public  moneys,  from  the  appointment  of  a  Cabinet  officer  by 
the  President  down  to  that  of  a  scrub-woman  by  the  janitor  of  the  county 
court-house.  Although,  with  the  exception  of  the  officers  and  servants  of 
their  own  houses  and  the  advice  and  consent  of  the  Senate  of  the  United 
States  or  of  the  States  required  in  appointments  to  the  more  important 
offices,  strictly  speaking  and  in  law,  legislative  bodies  have  no  patronage, 
in  practice  the  case  is  very  different.  Members  of  Congress  and  Senators 
affiliated  with  the  party  controlling  the  executive  not  only  exercise  influence 
{q.  V.)  over  appointments  to  all  federal  offices  within  their  districts  or  the 
State  whose  representatives  they  are,  but  regard  the  right  of  nominating  the 
appointee  as  an  appanage  of  their  office,  in  other  words,  as  their  "  patron- 
age." The  civil  service  laws,  which  in  the  eyes  of  some  have  remedied  this 
abuse  altogether,  have  in  the  eyes  of  others  only  veiled  it.  At  any  rate,  in 
the  earlier  half  of  the  decade  1870-80  the  practice  was  openly  reduced  to  a 
system,  and  the  executive  was  fast  becoming,  in  matters  of  appointment  at 
least,  no  more  than  the  recorder  and  executor  of  the  mandates  of  the  Con- 
gressmen and  Senators  ;  the  distribution  of  the  offices  was  looked  upon  by 
most  Congressmen  as  their  most  important  public  duty  and  the  most  important 
privilege  attached  to  their  position. 

Patterson.  "Who  struck  Billy  Patterson?  a  familiar  American 
locution.  Not  only  is  the  name  of  Billy  Patterson's  assailant  veiled  in  night, 
but  Billy  Patterson  himself  is  one  of  the  great  myths  of  American  history. 
The  question  "  Who  struck  Billy  Patterson  ?"  should  be  supplemented  by 
the  further  question,  "  Who  was  Billy  Patterson  ?"  He  has  been  variously 
described  as  a  Baltimore  merchant,  aGeorgia  professor,  a  Philadelphia  fire- 
man, a  New  Jersey  senator,  a  Boston  bank  president,  a  New  York  Bowery 
boy.     But  in  most  of  the  variants  of  the   myth  the  point  and  the  moral  are 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  879 

the  same.  In  a  street-riot  or  election-row  Patterson  is  represented  as  having 
been  struck.  An  indignant  friend  thereupon  advances  into  the  crowd,  shout- 
ing, "Who  struck  Billy  Patterson?"  "I  did!"  cries  a  big,  sturdy  rioter. 
The  champion's  attitude  suddenly  changes  from  angry  defiance  to  disinterested 

critical  approval.     "  .A.nd  a  d good  blow  it  was,  too  !"  he  says.     This,  we 

repeat,  is  the  usual  version,  however  the  personality  of  Mr.  Patterson  may 
be  varied  in  different  localities.  The  incident  must  have  occurred  early  in 
the  century,  for  he  was  made  the  hero  of  a  song  popular  in  London  in  the 
reign  of  George  IV.  But,  in  spite  of  these  well-authenticated  facts,  other 
legends  of  later  date  have  clustered  around  the  famous  Billy.  Two  of  these 
have  acquired  special  prominence.  They  are  apocryphal,  of  course,  yet, 
because  they  have  misled  the  unwary,  they  are  worth  chronicling.  One  story 
which  made  the  rounds  of  the  newspapers  quite  recently  is  that  Professor 
Alban  Smith  Payne,  M.D.,  at  present  living  in  Warrenton,  Virginia,  struck 
William  Patterson  in  May,  1S52,  in  Richmond. 

"  I  struck  him,"  said  the  doctor  to  a  reporter  of  the  Detroit  Free  Press, 
"because  I  saw  old  Usher  Parsons,  the  surgeon  to  Commodore  Perry  in 
Lake  Erie,  lying  on  his  back  in  the  road,  unable  to  rise,  his  white  hair  stream- 
ing in  the  air,  ruthlessly  knocked  there  by  a  brutal  bully;  and  I  said,  'By 
the  Eternal !  I  will  hit  you,  my  man,  and  I  will  hit  you  hard  !'     And  I  did." 

You  see,  all  the  point  of  the  story  disappears  in  this  version.  Why  should 
a  large  part  of  the  civilized  world  still  be'interested  in  asking,  "  Who  struck 
Billy  Patterson  .?"  if  it  were  simply  the  case  of  a  bully  knocked  down  by  a 
medical  gentleman  .?  Moreover,  the  dates  settle  the  matter.  The  question 
was  asked  long,  long  before  1852. 

And  in  the  other  story,  too,  the  dates  are  decisive.  William  Patterson,  a 
Baltimore  merchant,  so  this  story  goes,  was  struck  by  an  unknown  man  in  a 
Georgia  street-riot.  He  at  once  jumped  up  and  ran  through  the  streets,  cry- 
ing, "  Who  struck  Billy  Patterson  V  Nobody  could  or  would  tell  him, — natu- 
rally enough,  for  he  was  a  stranger,  and  a  brawny  stranger.  He  afterwards 
offered  a  public  reward  through  the  newspapers  to  any  one  who  should  name 
the  man.  Again  no  one  responded.  He  died,  and  left  one  thousand  dollars 
in  his  will  to  any  one  who  should  furnish  the  information.  (A  copy  of  this 
will,  by  the  way,  is  said  to  be  filed  away  in  the  ordinary's  office,  Carnesville, 
Franklin  County,  Georgia.)  Naturally,  the  affair  grew  to  be  talked  about. 
"  Who  struck  Billy  Patterson  .'"'  became  a  proverbial  saying.  Finally  the  story 
of  the  reward  reached  the  ears  of  Mrs.  Jenny  G.  Conely,  of  Athol,  New  York. 
She  came  forward  and  asserted  that  her  father,  George  W.  Tillerton,  struck 
the  blow,  but  was  so  terrified  by  the  results  that  he  fled  the  town.  Whether 
Mrs.  Conely  ever  got  the  reward  is  not  stated.  Now,  this  story  has  a  certain 
air  of  plausibility.  It  seems  to  give  a  reason  for  the  constant  repetition  of 
the  query.  But  it,  too,  lacks  the  all-satisfying  moral  of  the  more  usual 
version.  So  we  are  glad  to  find  it  lacks  as  well  historical  confirmation. 
This  event  was  too  recent.  The  query  is  known  to  have  been  asked  for 
almost  a  century. 

Pauper  Labor,  a  term  used  in  American  stump-oratory  and  political 
editorial  writing.  The  expression  was  first  extensively  used  in  1842,  and  has 
been  reiterated  ever  since.  It  is  particularly  often  used  in  discussions  upon 
the  tariff,  and  oftenest  by  the  protectionists,  who  argue  that  their  fiscal  policy 
protects  the  contented,  well-fed,  and  well-paid  American  workingman  against 
competition  with  the  pauper  labor  of  Europe. 

Peace  -with  honor,  one  of  Beaconsfield's  most  famous  rockets  of  speech, 
was  sent  up  immediately  after  his  return  to  London  (in  1876)  from  the  Con- 
gress of  Vienna.     But  it  was  a  rank  plagiarism.     The  very  words  appeared 


88o  HANDY-BOOK  OF. 

on  the  flags  of  welcome  which  greeted  him  at  Dover,  and  in  his  turn  the  man 
who  placed  the  device  there  was  a  plagiarist.  The  phrase  is  a  familiar  one  in 
English  literature.  Pepys,  under  date  of  May  25,  1663,  says,  referring  to  his 
wife,  "  With  peace  and  honor  I  am  willing  to  spare  her  anything,  so  as  to  be 
able  to  keep  all  ends  together  and  my  power  over  her  undisturbed."  De- 
foe has  the  exact  phrase:  "He  [James  I.]  had  rather  spend  a  hundred 
thousand  pounds  in  embassies  to  procure  peace  with  dishonor  than  ten  thou- 
sand pounds  to  send  a  force  to  procure  peace  with  honor."  {Memoirs  of  a 
Cavalier.)  Again,  Shakespeare  puts  the  words  into  the  mouth  of  Volumnia 
when  she  urges  her  son  Coriolanus  to  let  policy 

hold  companionship  in  peace 
With  honor,  as  in  war,  since  that  to  both 
It  stands  in  like  request. 

A  pronounced  similarity,  not  only  in  the  words,  but  also  in  the  situation  in 
which  they  were  uttered,  occurs  in  Fletcher's  "  Queen  of  Corinth  :" 

Eraton.  The  general  is  returned,  then? 

Meanthes.  Wit!)  much  honor. 

Sosicles.  And  peace  concluded  with  the  place  of  Argos? 

Meanthes.  And  the  queen's  wishes.  • 

Peacock  feathers.  These  in  England  and  locally  in  America  are  looked 
upon  as  unlucky.  Their  mere  possession  is  reputed  to  be  a  harbinger  of 
misfortune  to  the  owner.  Every  kind  of  loss  will  have  to  be  sustained  by 
the  occupiers  of  the  house  they  adorn,  including  illness  and  death,  and  many 
country-people,  even  now,  would  be  horrified  if  any  one  were  unwittingly  to 
bring  under  a  roof  one  or  more  of  these  feathers.  It  is  further  said  that 
children  will  never  be  healthy  in  rooms  adorned  with  these  iridescent  plumes, 
and  that  it  is  the  unluckiest  thing  in  the  world  to  give  them  as  playthings  to 
the  youngsters. 

The  bird  first  received  a  bad  name  in  the  land  of  its  birth.  According  to 
Mohammedan  tradition,  the  peacock  opened  the  wicket  of  Paradise  to  admit 
the  devil,  and  eventually  received  a  very  ample  share  of  the  devil's  own  pun- 
ishment, though  what  losses  this  winged  accessory  before  the  fact  suffered 
are  not  stated :  perhaps  they  were  a  melodious  voice  and  presentable  feet. 

To  Paradise,  the  Arabs  say, 
Satan  could  never  find  the  way 
Until  the  peacock  let  him  in. 

In  the  likeness  of  a  serpent  Satan  tempted  Eve,  and  the  punishment  meted 
out  to  the  associate  in  crime  may  have  been  that  the  peacock  should  there- 
after consider  his  former  friend  his  greatest  enemy.  It  is  the  one  useful  trait 
in  the  vain  character  of  the  bird,  and  deserves  placing  on  record,  that  he  is 
the  deadly  foe  of  all  snakes,  harmless  and  venomous. 

The  Yezidees,  a  remnant  of  the  Parsees,  who  acknowledged  the  two  princi- 
ples of  good  and  evil  as  antagonistic  powers,  chose  the  peacock  as  the  repre- 
sentative of  the  evil  principle,  Ahriman,  Pride.  Believing  that  the  evil  prin- 
ciple is  the  strongest  in  this  world,  they  considered  that  it  was  prudent  to 
propitiate  it  by  sacrifice  before  its  emblem,  the  peacock,  though  they  also 
believed  in  the  final  triumph  of  the  good  principle.  The  Egyptians  had,  of 
course,  long  before  this  arranged  a  little  narrative  about  the  peacock's  tail. 
They  said  its  feather  was  an  emblem  of  an  evil  eye  or  an  ever-watchful  traitor 
in  the  house.  Argus  was  the  vigilant  minister  of  Osiris,  King  of  Egypt. 
When  Osiris  started  on  his  Indian  expedition  he  left  his  queen  Isis  regent, 
and  Argus  her  chief  adviser.  The  latter  with  his  hundred  eyes — secret  spies 
— soon  made  himself  so  formidable  that  he  seized  the  queen  regent,  shut 
her  up  in  a  castle,  and  proclaimed  himself  king.     Mercury  was  sent  against 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  88 1 

him  with  a  large  army,  took  him  captive,  and  cut  off  his  head,  whereupon  Juno 
metamorphosed  him  into  a  peacoclv  and  set  his  eyes  in  his  tail. 

In  the  Middle  Ages  it  was  customary  to  serve  the  peacock  at  great  ban- 
quets with  much  pomp  and  ceremony.  Over  his  carcass  mediaeval  knights 
swore  one  of  their  most  solemn  vows,  the  ladies  being  witnesses  thereto. 
The  principals  do  not  appear  to  have  known  anything  of  the  origin  or  mean- 
ing of  the  oath  by  the  peacock,  and  there  is  reason,  therefore,  for  believing  it 
to  have  been  traditional  and  imported.  Its  incongruous  combination  with 
vows  to  God  and  the  Virgin  seems  to  show  that  it  was  a  pagan  oath  Chris- 
tianized in  outward  form  by  the  aspersion  of  holy  words.  In  1453,  Philip  the 
Good,  Duke  of  Burgundy,  vowed  "by  the  peacock"  to  go  to  the  deliverance 
of  Constantinople,  which  had  recently  fallen  into  the  hands  of  the  Turks.  At 
the  conclusion  of  the  tournament  and  banquet  held  by  the  duke  at  Lille, 
Holy  Mother  Church,  under  the  disguise  of  a  lady  in  mourning  seated  on 
an  elephant  and  escorted  by  a  giant,  approached  the  duke  and  delivered  a 
long  versified  complaint,  claiming  the  aid  and  succor  of  the  Knights  of  the 
Golden  Fleece.  The  herald  advanced,  bearing  on  his  fist  a  live  peacock  or 
pheasant,  which,  according  to  the  rites  of  chivalry,  he  presented  to  the  duke. 
At  this  extraordinary  summons,  Philip,  a  wise  and  aged  prince,  engaged  his 
person  and  powers  in  the  holy  war  against  the  Turks.  His  example  was 
imitated  by  the  barons  and  knights  of  the  assembly ;  they  swore  to  God,  the 
Virgin,  the  ladies,  and  the  peacock.  In  this  connection  will  be  recalled  Praed's 
brilliant  charade  "The  Peacock  and  the  Ladies." 

A  representation  of  the  bird,  with  train  displayed,  is  supposed  to  have  been 
employed  by  the  early  Christians  to  symbolize  the  resurrection  of  the  body 
and  the  immortality  of  the  soul.  It  is  of  frequent  occurrence  as  an  emblem 
in  the  catacombs  of  Rome.  The  fact  appears  to  be  that  the  peacock,  as  an 
emblem  of  the  resurrection,  supplanted  the  phcenix,  which,  used  by  the 
Egyptians,  seated  on  its  claws,  and  with  two  human  arms  protruding  from  its 
breast  in  an  attitude  of  prayer,  as  a  type  of  their  great  astronomical  year, 
came,  with  the  latter  fable  of  its  rising  from  its  ashes,  to  symbolize  the  im- 
mortality of  the  soul  and  an  after-life. 

Not  only  does  it  thus  appear  on  monuments  and  in  windows,  but  the  varie- 
gated feathers  of  the  bird,  or  imitations  of  them  in  embroidery,  were  often 
used  in  early  times  as  church  decorations.  The  wings  of  angels,  moreover, 
were  often  represented  as  formed  of  the  plumes. 

There  was  an  old  idea  as  to  the  incorruptibility  of  the  flesh  of  the  peacock, 
which  may  have  suggested  the  adoption  of  this  bird  as  a  symbol  of  triumph 
over  death  and  the  grave.  In  a  rare  book,  published  in  1685,  appears  the 
following  :  "  When  a  peacock  is  dead  his  flesh  does  not  decay,  nor  yield  any 
stinking  smell,  but  continues,  as  it  were,  embalmed  in  spices." 

Pearls  before  swine,  a  familiar  expression,  meaning  something  fine  or 
costly  wasted  on  those  who  cannot  appreciate  it,  or,  as  Hamlet  says,  "  caviare 
to  the  general."  The  original  is  in  the  Sermon  on  the  Mount :  "  Give  not 
that  which  is  holy  unto  the  dogs,  neither  cast  ye  your  pearls  before  swine, 
lest  they  trample  them  under  their  feet,  and  turn  again  and  rend  you." 
(Matthew  vii.  6.) 

The  evening  was  advanced  when  a  venerable  squire  of  ancient  name  and  lineage  arose  to 
propose  a  toast.  Seldom  have  I  heard  one  more  successful.  He  began  modestly.  It  is 
always  well  to  begin  modestly.  "  I  feel,"  said  the  good  man,  "  that  for  a  plain  country 
squire  like  myself  to  address  a  dignified  body  like  the  Presbytery  of  St.  Andrews,  including 
in  its  number  various  learned  professors,  is,  indeed,  to  cast  pearls  before  swine."  He  had  to 
pause  long  ere  he  got  further.  Thunderous  applause  broke  forth.  The  swine  cheered  as  if 
they  would  never  leave  off.  We  all  knew  perfectly  what  the  laird  meant.  I  was  sitting  next 
to  him  as  he  spoke  the  words.  1  heard  them  with  these  ^^xs.— Twenty-Five  Years  of  St. 
Andrewt. 

fff  74* 


882  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Peck  of  dirt.  A  familiar  English  phrase  of  no  known  parentage  asserts 
that  "  Every  one  must  eat  a  peck  of  dirt  before  he  dies."  Lord  Chesterfield 
one  day,  at  an  inn  where  he  dined,  complained  very  much  that  the  plates  and 
dishes  were  very  dirty.  The  waiter,  with  a  degree  of  pertness,  observed, 
"  It  is  said  that  every  one  must  eat  a  peck  of  dirt  before  he  dies."  "  That 
may  be  true,"  said  Chesterfield,  "  but  no  one  is  obliged  to  eat  it  all  at  one  meal." 

Peculiar  Institution,  in  American  political  slang,  slavery  as  it  existed  in 
the  Southern  States  before  the  war.  It  is  said  to  have  been  the  condensation 
of  a  phrase  first  used  by  the  South  Carolina  Gazette,  which  in  the  heat  of  the 
anti-slavery  conflict  {circa  1852)  advised  that  all  strangers  from  the  North 
should  be  kept  under  surveillance,  because  of  "the  dangers  which  at  present 
threaten  the  peculiar  domestic  institution  of  the  South." 

Peeler,  in  English  cant,  a  policeman.  The  word,  which  dates  originally 
from  the  organization  of  that  splendid  force,  the  Irish  Constabulary,  under 
Sir  Robert  Peel,  crept  over  into  England,  and  is  used  to  this  day  in  London 
indifferently  with  the  word  "  cop"  as  a  slang  designation  for  a  policeman.  The 
latter  is  the  older  word,  and  is  no  doubt  derived  from  the  slang  verb  to 
"cop,"  or  seize.  As  peeler  is  an  adaptation  of  Sir  Robert's  last  name,  so  the 
less  frequent  "  Bobby"  is  a  reminiscence  of  his  Christian  name. 

Peg  too  low,  colloquial  English  for  low-spirited,  moody.  The  expres- 
sion originated  in  a  custom  of  our  Saxon  ancestors,  a  method  of  drinking 
designed  by  that  wonderful  reformer  of  the  tenth  century,  St.  Uunstan,  Arch- 
bishop of  Canterbury,  with  the  object  of  preventing  brawls.  The  cup  or 
bowl  used  was  called  a  "peg-tankard  ;"  in  this  pewter  cup  places  were  left, 
at  regular  intervals,  in  which  a  peg  could  be  inserted  ;  as  the  bowl  passed  from 
hand  to  hand  the  peg  was  moved,  so  that  no  one  might  exceed  his  due  share 
of  the  draught.  Longfellow  introduces  the  custom  in  "  The  Golden  Legend," 
where,  in  the  scene  in  the  refectory.  Friar  John  is  made  to  say, — 

Come,  old  fellow,  drink  down  to  your  peg. 
But  do  not  drink  any  farther,  I  beg ! 

Pen  and  Sword.  These  striking  lines,  written  by  Sir  Edward  Bulwer 
Lytton,  are  from  "  Richelieu  :" 

Beneath  the  rule  of  men  entirely  great. 
The  pen  is  mightier  than  the  sword. 

Act  ii.,  Sc.  2. 

This  may  be  a  reminiscence  of  the  Latin  phrase  quoted  by  Burton  {Anatomy 
Oj  Melancholy,  Part  I.,  Sec.  2,  Mem.  4,  Subs.  4),  "  Hinc  quam  sit  calamus 
saevior  ense,  patet"  ("  From  this  it  appears  how  much  more  cruel  the  pen 
may  be  than  the  sword").  But  Saint-Simon  comes  closer  to  Bulwer's  thought 
in  his  "Memoirs,"  iii.  517  (1702),  ed.  1856:  "  Tant  la  plume  a  eu  sous  le  roi 
d'avantage  sur  I'epee"  ("  So  much  had  the  pen,  under  the  king,  the  advantage 
over  the  sword").  Evidently  Sieyes  would  not  have  been  classed  by  Bulwer 
among  men  entirely  great.  For  at  the  end  of  the  Directory,  when  he  felt 
how  powerless  was  the  mere  man  of  letters,  Sieyes  exclaimed,  "  What  I  want 
is  a  sword"  ("  II  me  faut  une  epee"). 

The  Portuguese  Antonio  da  Fonseca,  a  celebrated  although  at  times  erotic 
poet  of  the  early  seventeenth  century,  in  one  of  his  most  spirited  elegies 
thus  jocosely  compares  the  prowess  of  the  pen  and  sword,  as  applied  to  the 
"  Academy  of  War :" 

Da  Academia  de  Mane,  em  cujo  estudo 

E  papel  a  campanha,  o  sangue  tinta, 

A  penna  espada  e  o  tintiro  escuda. 

("Of  war's  academy,  in  whose  study 
Paper  is  the  field,  ink  the  blood. 
Pen  the  sword,  and  ink-pot  the  shield.") 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  883 

In  the  year  1520,  Claus  Petri,  both  historian  and  chancellor  of  the  Upsala 
University,  chronicled  the  amazing  results  that  flowed  from  the  numerous 
letters  of  Christian  II.,  King  of  Denmark,  containing  assurances  to  the  Swedes 
of  the  most  grandiloquent  character,  and  replete  with  promises  if  the  public 
of  Sweden  would  accept  him  for  its  ruler.  He  says,  "  Scarcely  ever  in  former 
times  was  so  great  a  number  of  letters  issued  by  any  king,"  but  he  terminates 
the  sentence  by  observing,  "  Letters  did  more  than  the  sword"  ("  Och  mera 
gjorde  bref  an  svard"). 

But  the  original  thought  is  in  Sophocles  : 

Thoughts  are  mightier  than  strength  of  hand. 

Frag.  854. 

Mr.  Edward  Bok,  in  an  article  on  "  How  I  made  my  Autograph  Album," 
in  Lippincott's  Mai;aziue,  gives  the  following  interesting  letter  : 

I  prefer  not  to  make  scraps  of  sentimental  writing.  When  I  write  anything  I  want  it  to  be 
real  and  connected  in  form,  as,  for  instance,  in  your  quotation  from  Lord  Lytton's  play  of 
"  Richelieu,"  "  The  pen  is  mightier  than  the  sword."  Lord  Lytton  would  never  have  put  his 
signature  to  so  naked  a  sentiment.  Surely  I  will  not.  In  the  te.xt  there  was  a  prefix  or  quali- 
fication : 

Beneath  the  rule  of  men  entirely  great. 

The  pen  is  mightier  than  the  sword. 

Now,  this  world  does  not  often  present  the  condition  of  facts  herein  described.  Men  entirely 
great  are  very  rare  indeed,  and  even  Washington,  who  approached  greatness  as  near  as  any 
mortal,  found  good  use  for  the  sword  and  the  pen,  each  in  its  proper  sphere.  We  have  seen 
the  day  when  a  great  and  good  man  ruled  this  country  (Lincoln)  who  wielded  a  powerful  and 
prolific  pen,  and  yet  had  to  call  to  his  assistance  a  million  of  flaming  swords.  No,  1  cannot 
subscribe  to  your  sentiment  "  The  pen  is  mightier  than  the  sword,"  because  it  is  not  true. 
Rather,  in  the  providence  of  God,  there  is  a  time  for  all  things  ;  a  time  when  the  sword  may 
cut  the  Gordian  knot,  and  set  free  the  principles  of  right  and  justice,  bound  up  in  the  meshes 
of  hatred,  revenge,  and  tyranny,  that  the  pens  of  mighty  men  like  Clay,  Webster,  Crittenden, 
and  Lincoln  were  unable  to  disentangle. 

Your  friend, 

W.  T.  Sherman. 

Pennsylvania  Dutch,  a  South  German  patois  which  took  root  in  Penn- 
sylvania, and,  drawing  succulence  from  its  foreign  surroundings,  burgeoned 
out  into  something  distinctively  transatlantic,  yet  retaining  its  Teutonic  stamp, 
especially  in  a  great  number  of  old  and  curious  German  words  and  forms  of 
speech  such  as  are  now  to  be  heard  only  in  the  remotest  places  of  the  Father- 
land. The  dialect  is  still  spoken  by  a  population  of  some  two  millions,  cen- 
tred round  Philadelphia  and  in  the  Pennsylvanian  neighborhood  of  New  York 
City,  becoming  less  and  less  adulterated  with  English  the  farther  the  settle- 
ment is  removed  from  urban  influences.  It  was  originally  brought  over  by 
the  Germans  who  joined  the  expedition  of  William  Penn  in  16S2.  They  re- 
ceived large  reinforcements  when  the  Moravian  Count  Zinzendorf  and  his 
co-religionists  settled  in  the  Lehigh  Valley.  Later  on,  in  170S,  the  Dunkers, 
or  German  Baptists,  swelled  the  German  element  in  Pennsylvania.  The  set- 
tlements of  the  latter  were  mainly  called  by  Biblical  names, — Lebanon,  Jordan, 
Bethlehem,  Nazareth,  Emmaus. 

Penny.  No  Penny,  no  Paternoster,  meaning,  of  course,  "  Pay  your 
money,  or  you  will  get  no  prayers,"  is  an  old  English  proverb,  which  may  be 
found  duly  recorded  by  Hey  wood  (1546) : 

He  may  be  in  my  Paternoster  in  deede. 

But  be  sure  he  shall  never  come  into  my  creede. 

Ave  Maria  (quoth  he)  how  much  motion 

Here  is  to  prayers  with  how  little  devotion. 

But  some  men  say  No  Peny,  no  Paternoster. 

Penny  Dreadfuls,  a  name  colloquially  given  in  England  to  what  in 
America  are  called  blood-and-thunder  stories, — i.e.,  the  volcanic  serials  con- 


884  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

tributed  to  penny  papers.  When  published  in  book-form  they  are  known  as 
"shilling  shockers."  The  Quarterly  Review  answers  its  own  query,  "Who 
write  the  Penny  Dreadfuls  ?"  as  follows  : 

A  goodly  proportion  of  them  [the  authors]  began  life  in  the  unambitious  capacities  of  com- 
positors, reporters,  and  hangers-on  of  the  newspaper  press.  One  well-known  personage  of 
this  class  began  what  in  moments  of  confidence  he  delights  to  style  his  "  literary  career" 
when  acting  as  shopman  to  a  second-hand  bookseller  in  a  manufacturing  town  of  the  Mid- 
lands. Another  distinguished  person  of  the  same  type  translates  dubious  French  novels  on 
weekdays,  and  on  Sundays  actually  officiates  as  minister  in  some  sort  of  dissenting  chapel. 
A  third  was  a  village  school-master  in  Scotland,  while  of  a  fourth  a  curious  anecdote  was  told 
a  few  years  ago  in  a  monthly  magazine.  "  A  friend  of  the  writer,"  said  the  magazinist,  "  has 
in  his  service  a  housemaid  whose  father  writes  novels  for  a  Fleet  Street  publisher  from  ten  to 
four  daily."  A  still  more  amusing  illustration  of  the  social  status  of  some  of  our  popular  in- 
structors was  lately  related  by  a  lady,  the  wife  of  a  well-known  physician.  Her  cook  having 
repeatedly  neglected  to  send  up  the  dinner  with  the  punctuality  which  is  desirable  in  a  well- 
ordered  household,  she  remonstrated  with  some  sharpness,  and,  to  her  astonishment,  was 
informed  that  the  young  person  in  question  was  so  much  occupied  with  the  novel  she  was 
writing  that  she  had  been  unable  to  pay  due  attention  to  her  duties  in  the  kitchen. —  The 
Quarterly  Review. 

Pereant  qui  ante  nos  nostra  dixerimt  (L.,  "  Perish  those  who  have  said 
our  good  things  before  us").  St.  Jerome  tells  us  that  his  teacher  Donatus 
frequently  used  these  words  as  a  comment  on  the  lines  in  Terence,  "  Nullum 
est  jam  dictum  quod  non  dictum  sit  prius"  ("  Nothing  is  now  said  which  has 
not  already  been  said").  This  very  saying  seems  to  justify  its  own  truth 
when  one  reflects  that  it  is  but  a  paraphrase  of  Ecclesiastes  i.  9,  "  There  is 
no  new  thing  under  the  sun."  La  Bruyere  begins  his  "  Caracteres"  with  the 
famous  phrase,  "  All  has  been  said,  and  one  comes  too  late  after  the  seven 
thousand  years  in  which  men  have  lived  and  thought."  Boileau  thought  that 
nothing  was  left  for  us  save  imitation.  "  Him  who  does  not  imitate  the 
ancients,"  he  says,  "none  will  imitate."  Alfred  de  Musset,  when  accused  of 
imitating  the  author  of  "Childe  Harold,"  showed  how  that  author  had  him- 
self imitated  Pulci  and  many  more  of  the  old  Italians.     Alfred's  conclusion, 

Rien  n'appartient  a  rien,  tout  appanient  i  tous, 
expresses  with  the  rounded  completeness  of  aphorismatic  truth  what  Voltaire 
had  already  represented,  with  his  usual  finesse,  in  the  light  of  a  similitude  : 
"  II  en  est  des  livres  comme  du  feu  dans  nos  foyers.  On  va  prendre  ce  feu 
chez  son  voisin,  on  I'allume  chez  soi,  on  le  communique  a  d'autres,  et  il  ap- 
partient  a  tous." 

Byron  himself  expressed  a  desire  to  be  numbered  among  the  "good  pil- 
ferers," for  "  you  may  laugh  at  it  as  a  paradox,"  said  he,  "  but  I  assure  you 
the  most  original  writers  are  the  greatest  thieves." 

La  Fontaine,  avowing  that  he  was  no  slavish  imitator  of  Virgil,  proposed 
to  find  a  rule  for  practice.     It  is  in  essential  harmony  with  that  of  Voltaire  : 

Je  ne  prends  que  I'idee,  et  les  tours  et  les  lois 

Que  nos  maitres  suivaient  eux-memes  autrefois. 

Si  d'ailleurs  quelque  endroit  plein  chez  eux  d'excellence 

Pent  entrer  d.ins  mes  vers  sans  nulle  violence, 

Je  I'y  transporte,  et  veux  qu'il  n'ait  rien  d'affecte, 

Tachant  de  rendre  mien  cet  air  d'antiquite. 

When  Alexander  Smith  was  roundly  accused  of  plagiarism  by  the  police- 
men  of  the  press.  Sir  Arthur  Helps,  in  a  cordial  consolatory  letter,  said,  very 
happily,  "  Really,  if  people  were  at  all  critics,  they  should  be  able  to  dis- 
tinguish between  the  man  who  conquers  and  the  man  who  steals^  A  happv 
phrase,  indeed,  yet  Mr.  Helps  had  himself  conquered  it  from  Moliere,  or 
from  a  phrase  misquoted  from  Moliere  :  "I  take  my  own  wherever  I  find  it" 
('•Je  prends  mon  bien  ou  je  le  trouve").  This  is  the  famous  reply  said  to 
have  been  made  by  him  when  accused  of  borrowing  incidents  and  characters. 
It  is  further  explained  by  the  definition  which  one  of  his  avowed  admirers  has 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  885 

based  upon  it :  "  An  author  is  a  person  who  takes  in  books  what  is  passing 
through  his  head."  Moliere  had  no  such  epigrammatic  meaning.  He  said 
retake  or  recover  (reprends)  in  lieu  of  take  {prends),  and  his  meaning  was  that 
when  any  one  stole  from  him  he  always  recaptured  his  own  property.  The 
phrase  was  not  used  to  defend  his  many  plagiarisms,  but  to  condemn  the 
plagiarism  of  a  friend.  To  Cyrano  de  Bergerac  he  had  confidentially  com- 
municated the  famous  scene  in  "  Les  Fourberies  de  Scapin"  where  Geronte 
inquires,  "Que  diable  allait-il  faire  dans  cette  galere  ?"  Cyrano  appropri- 
ated the  idea  in  his  "  Pedant  Joue,"  Act  ii.,  Sc.  4.  When  Moliere  produced 
his  own  play  he  was  accused  of  plagiarism  from  Cyrano,  and  then  made  the 
famous  answer  we  have  already  quoted.  Emerson  increases  the  confusion 
by  attributing  the  phrase  to  Marmontel.  The  whole  passage  is  just  pat  to 
the  matter  in  hand,  and  we  will  quote  it  entire  :  "  Wordsworth,  as  soon  as  he 
heard  a  good  thing,  caught  it  up,  meditated  upon  it,  and  very  soon  reproduced 
it  in  his  conversation  and  writings.  If  De  Quincey  said,  'That  is  what  I  told 
you,' he  replied,  'No:  that  is  mine, — mine,  and  not  yours.'  On  the  whole, 
we  like  the  valor  of  it.  'Tis  on  Marmontel's  principle,  'I  pounce  on  what  is 
mine  wherever  I  find  it,'  and  on  Bacon's  broader  rule,  '  I  take  all  knowledge 
to  be  my  province.'  It  betrays  the  consciousness  that  truth  is  the  property 
of  no  individual,  but  is  the  treasure  of  all  men.  And  inasmuch  as  any  writer 
has  ascended  to  a  just  view  of  man's  condition,  he  has  adopted  this  tone." 
(Letters  and  Social  Aims:  Quotations  and  Originality.) 

Perry's  Saints,  a  name  familiarly  given  to  the  Forty-Eighth  New  York 
Voliinteers,  also  known  as  the  Fighting  Parson's  Regiment. 

The  regiment  was  stationed  along  the  Carolina  coast  for  the  first  three  years  of  the  war, 
and  saw  but  little  active  service  ;  but  in  1864  it  was  transferred  to  the  Army  of  the  Potomac 
in  time  to  taUe  part  in  the  battle  of  Cold  Harbor  and  the  engagements  around  Petersburg. 
It  was  subsequently  moved  back  to  North  Carolina,  and  participated  in  the  assault  and  cap- 
ture of  Fort  Fisher.  Its  history  is  not  greatly  different  from  that  of  other  regiments,  except 
in  the  character  of  its  first  colonel,  the  Rev.  James  H.  Perry.  He  was  a  graduate  of  West 
Point,  who  offered  his  services  to  the  Texan  government  just  after  his  graduation.  At  the 
battle  of  San  Jacinto  he  succeeded  in  killing  a  Mexican  officer  whom  he  thought  to  be  Santa 
Anna.  On  finding  out  his  mistake  he  was  overwhelmed  with  remorse,  left  the  Texan  service 
immediately,  and  entered  the  ministry.  The  news  of  the  bombardment  of  Fort  Sumter 
caused  him  to  take  up  his  sword  again,  and  to  remain  in  the  service  until  he  died  of  fever, 
contracted  in  the  Southern  swamps.  His  was  not  the  only  case  of  this  kind,  but  it  affords  an- 
other illustration  of  the  moral  forces  which  lay  behind  the  great  uprising  of  the  North  in  1861. 
— New  York  Nation. 

Persuasion.  There  is  no  word  that  is  so  badly  abused  by  the  ordinary 
run  of  writers  as  this.  In  the  first  place,  its  meaning  is  always  misappre- 
hended,— not  the  ordinary  and  familiar  meaning  as  a  noun  formed  from  the 
verb  to  persuade,  but  the  secondary  meaning  it  has  acquired  as  the  creed  or 
belief  of  any  sect  or  branch  of  some  greater  faith.  It  is  right,  for  example,  to 
speak  of  the  Presbyterian  or  even  of  the  Protestant  persuasion.  It  is  not 
right  to  speak  of  the  Christian  or  the  Buddhist  persuasion.  But,  not  content 
with  misapplying  it  in  matters  religious,  the  illiterate  vulgar,  or  their  far  more 
dangerous  and  unpleasant  neighbors  the  semi-educated  vulgar,  make  your 
teeth  stand  on  edge  by  speaking  of  the  Spiritualist  persuasion,  the  clerical 
persuasion,  etc.  The  other  day  a  journalist  characterized  himself  as  being  of 
the  reportorial  persuasion.  Great  heavens  !  If  an  ass  could  speak,  would 
he  say  that  he  was  of  the  asinine  persuasion  ?  Let  us  trust  that  he  would 
show  a  nicer  sense  of  the  functions  of  words.  We  pass  from  bad  to  worse 
when  we  get  among  the  funny  men.  To  say  that  a  woman  is  of  the  female 
persuasion  was  originally  meant  for  a  joke.  As  such  it  might  pass — once. 
You  might,  indeed,  refuse  to  smile  ;  still  you  wouldn't  feel  like  invoking  the 
law.  But  the  constant  and  persistent  use  of  this  unfunny  bit  of  fun  has  grown 
to  be  something  of  a  public  calamity.     It  is  matter  for  congratulation,  how- 


886  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

ever,  that  such  linguistic  lese-majesty  is  far  more  common  in  England  than  in 
America.  "  One  of  the  female  persuasion,  if  she  be  a  cook  in  a  good  family, 
is  an  awfully  good  friend  of  the  unmarried  policeman."  "  Every  householder 
should  disciiarge  his  revolver  whenever  he  shall  find  any  unauthorized  person 
of  the  male  persuasion  on  his  premises  during  the  hours  of  darkness."  These 
are  quotations  from  leading  English  journals.  Their  free  circulation  should 
arouse  infinitely  more  feeling  against  the  British  Lion  than  all  the  garbled  or 
falsified  extracts  which  the  politicians  are  so  fond  of  exploiting. 

Peter.  Robbing  Peter  to  pay  Paul,  with  its  variant,  "  Borrowing 
of  Peter  to  pay  Paul,"  has  become  jjart  of  common  speech.  It  is  currently 
supposed  to  have  found  its  origin  in  the  incident  related  in  Winkle's  "Ca- 
thedrals." "In  1540  the  abbey  church  of  St.  Peter,  Westminster,  was  ad- 
vanced to  the  dignity  of  a  cathedral  by  letters  patent ;  but  ten  years  later  it 
was  again  joined  to  the  diocese  of  London,  and  many  of  its  estates  appropri- 
ated to  defray  the  expenses  of  repairs  to  the  cathedral  of  St.  Paul's."  The 
following,  printed  in  1569,  may  be  a  reference  to  the  incident:  "It  is  not 
desirable  to  rob  St.  Peter's  altar  in  order  to  build  one  to  St.  Paul."  (ViGLlUS  : 
Com.  Dec.  Denarii,  i.  9.)  Much  earlier  than  these  events,  however,  in  a  manu- 
script of  the  twelfth  century  we  read,  "Tanquam  siquis  crucifigeret  Paulum 
ut  redimeret  Petrum." 

Phantom-  or  Ghost-words,  a  felicitous  term  invented  by  W.  W.  Skeat 
to  characterize  those  words  which  have  no  real  existence  in  language  or  lit- 
erature, but  have  been  admitted  into  dictionaries  through  some  blunder  sla- 
vishly adhered  to  by  successive  lexicographers.  A  good  example  is  afforded 
by  the  word  Abacot  (see  this  heading),  and  a  still  better  by  the  word  phan- 
tomnation.  The  latter  appears  in  Webster's  Unabridged,  in  Worcester,  the 
Imperial,  and  other  authorities.  Webster  defined  it  thus  :  "  Phantomnation, 
«.,  appearance  as  of  a  phantom  ;  illusion  (pbs.  and  rire).  Pope."  Worcester 
and  the  Imperial  say  simply,  "Illusion.  Pope."  Now,  the  source  of  this 
word  is  a  book  entitled  "  Philology  on  the  English  Language,"  published  in 
1820,  by  Richard  Paul  Jodrell,  as  a  sort  of  supplement  to  Johnson's  Dic- 
tionary. 

Jodrell  had  a  curious  way  of  writing  phrases  as  single  words,  without  even 
a  hyphen  to  indicate  their  composite  character.  Thus,  under  his  wonder- 
working pen,  city  solicitor  became  citysolicitor,  and  so  on.  He  remarks  in 
his  preface  that  it  "  was  necessary  to  enact  laws  for  myself,"  and  he  appears 
to  have  done  it  with  great  vigor.  He  followed  his  own  law  even  in  tran- 
scribing,— e.g. : 

These  solemn  vows  and  holy  offerings  paid 
To  all  the  phantomnations  of  the  dead. 

Pope:   Odyssey,  x.  627. 

Pope,  of  course,  had  written  phantom  nations.  But  some  early  lexicogra- 
pher (probably  Noah  Webster  himself)  in  foraging  around  for  new  words 
struck  this  odd  combination  of  Jodrell's,  and,  overlooking  the  latter's  expla- 
nation, assumed  it  to  be  Pope's.  Printers  do  not  follow  copy,  sheep  do  not 
follow  their  leader,  more  closely  than  one  lexicographer  used  to  follow  an- 
other, and  thus  it  came  about  that  our  great  lexicons  were  all  enriched  with 
a  new  term.  The  mistake  was,  however,  discovered  by  the  editors  of  the 
"Century  Dictionary,"  and  all  philologers  are  now  aware  of  it. 

Another  example  is  the  word  "slug-horn,"  which  has  found  its  way  into  the 
dictionaries  through  a  mistake  of  Chatterton  and  its  endorsement  by  Brown- 
ing.    The  latter  says  in  "  Childe  Roland," — 

I  put  the  slug-horn  to  my  lips  and  blew. 

Chatterton  had  misapprehended  the  meaning  of  the  Celtic  sloggorne,  or 


•  LITERAR  V  CURIOSITIES.  887 

slogan,  imagining  tliat  instead  of  a  battle-cry  it  was  some  sort  of  musical  in- 
strument, presumably  a  horn.     So  he  wrote, — 

Some  caught  a  slug-horn  and  an  onset  wound, — 

and  the  new-coined  word  by  Browning's  aid  has  now  passed  into  literature. 
Pity  it  has  no  authentic  parentage  !  "  Slug-horn"  has  so  fine  a  flavor  of  the 
Dark  Ages,  it  suggests  a  connection  with  slug  and  slaughter,  it  ought  to  mean 
a  battle-horn.  But  our  modern  lexicographers  are  more  wide-awake  and 
alert  than  their  predecessors  :  they  will  suffer  no  more  make-believe. 

Phenomenon,  specifically,  is  a  term  borrowed  from  Greek  philosophy, 
meaning  things  as  they  are,  in  opposition  to  noiimeiion,  =  things  as  they 
appear  to  the  material  senses.  The  term  is  now  used  as  a  general  designa- 
tion for  anything  wonderful  or  extraordinary.  Grant  Allen,  in  an  article  on 
"Superfine  English"  {Cornhill  Magazine,  vol.  Ivii.),  defends  this  use  of  the 
word  against  the  purist  and  the  pedagogue.  He  acknowledges  that  in  its 
restricted  and  technical  sense  a  phenomenon  is  an  appearance,  an  object  pre- 
sented to  the  senses,  a  thing  visible,  the  opposite  of  a  noumenon,  and  so  forth 
and  so  forth.  "And  when'we  are  writing  about  Greek  philosophy,  or  about 
the  theory  of  perception,  we  ought,  of  course,  so  to  employ  it.  But  even  this 
is  a  slight  deviation  from  the  original  meaning  of  the  word  phenomenon. 
The  word  from  which  it  is  derived  applies,  strictly  speaking,  to  the  sense  of 
sight  only,  whereas  the  philosophic  phenomenon  is  the  object,  as  such,  by 
whatever  sense  cognized,  even  in  the  crucial  instance  of  a  blind  man.  In 
modern  colloquial  English,  however,  the  word  phenomenon  has  had  its  mean- 
ing further  altered  to  imply  a  strange,  remarkable,  or  unusual  phenomenon  ; 
of  course,  because  at  first  those  adjectives  were  habitually  prefixed  to  it  in 
newspaper  paragraphs  about  the  big  gooseberry,  the  meteoric  stone,  the  great 
sea-serpent,  or  the  calf  with  five  legs,  until  at  last  to  the  popular  intelligence 
the  strangeness  and  the  phenomenon  became  indissolubly  linked  together  by 
association  in  a  single  idea.  Very  well,  then,  nowadays,  whether  we  ap- 
prove of  it  or  whether  we  don't,  the  word  phenomenon  means  in  plain  Eng- 
lish a  remarkable  event  or  appearance, — in  short,  a  regular  phenomenon, — 
and  the  adjective  phenomenal,  derived  from  it  in  this  sense,  means  passing 
strange  or  out  of  the  ordinary  course  of  nature.  The  Infant  Phenomenon 
has  made  its  mark  on  the  literature  of  the  country.  If  you  don't  like  the 
word  you  have  always  the  usual  alternative  of  lumping  it;  but  that,  as  a 
matter  of  fact,  is  the  sense  that  phenomenon  actually  bears  in  our  modern 
language." 

Philippine,  or  Philopena,  a  game  of  forfeits,  which  originated  in  rural 
Germany.  Two  people  share  a  nut  containing  two  kernels  :  at  their  next 
meeting  whichever  says  first  "Good-morning,  Philippine,"  is  entitled  to  a  for- 
feit from  the  other.  It  is  sometimes  said  that  the  salutation  was  originally 
"Guten  Morgen,  Vielliebchen"  (sweetheart,  darling),  and  that  this  gradually 
drifted  into  "Guten  Morgen,  Philippchen,"  when  the  French  took  it  over  and 
made  it  "  Bon-jour,  Philippine."  A  support  for  this  theory  is  found  in  the 
fact  that  to  French  ears  "  Vielliebchen"  and  "  Philippine"  are  almost  identical. 
At  least  M.  Rozan,  in  his  "  Petites  Ignorances  de  la  Conversation,"  asserts 
that  "Philippine"  "rhymes  exactly  with  the  German  word."  Nevertheless, 
the  etymology  is  not  generally  accepted,  and  it  is  asserted  that,  even  in  Ger- 
many, "Philip"  and  "Philippine"  are  the  names  assumed  for  the  nonce  by 
the  male  and  female  partners  in  the  game,  having  arisen  from  the  fact  that  St. 
Philip's  two  daughters  were  traditionally  said  to  have  been  buried  at  Hierapo- 
lis  in  one  sepulchre. 

Pi,  or  Pie,  a  printers'  term  used  to  designate  a  mass  of  confused  or  over- 


888  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

thrown  types,  is  plausibly  derived  from  the  Pica,  or  Pie,  the  Romish  Ordinal, 
or  Service-Book,  which  gave  its  name  to  the  type  known  as  Pica,  and  of  which 
the  preface  to  the  English  Book  of  Conmion  Prayer  complains  that  "the 
number  and  hardness  of  the  rules  called  the  pie  was  the  cause  that  to  turn  the 
book  only  was  so  hard  and  intricate  a  matter  that  many  times  there  was  more 
business  to  find  out  what  should  be  read  than  to  read  it  when  it  was  found 
out."  French  printers  have  the  same  expression, /«//,  pie.  "  Faire  du  pate" 
means  to  distribute  such  mixed-up  type.  Germans  say  Zwiehelfische, — literally, 
"fish  with  onions." 

Picnic.  The  word  picnic  is  said  to  date  from  about  the  year  1802.  Then, 
as  now,  when  such  an  entertainment  was  being  arranged  for,  it  was  customary 
that  those  who  intended  to  be  present  should  supply  the  eatables  and  drink- 
ables. A  list  of  what  was  considered  necessary  would  be  drawn  up  and 
passed  around,  each  person  picking  out  such  article  of  food  or  drink  as  he  or 
she  was  willing  to  furnish.  The  name  of  the  article  was  then  nicked  off  the 
list.  Hence  this  form  oi  fete  champetre  became  known  as  a  "  jjick-and-nick," 
which,  by  a  natural  transition,  degenerated  into  picnic.  But  though  the 
word  is  comparatively  recent,  the  thing  that  it  designates  is  at  least  two  cen- 
turies older.  There  is  extant  an  account  of  a  celebration  of  this  sort  which 
took  place  in  the  early  part  of  the  seventeenth  century,  upon  the  birthday  of 
Charles,  Prince  of  Wales,  afterwards  Charles  I.  of  England.  Mainwaring,  in 
a  letter  to  the  Earl  of  Arundel,  bearing  date  November  22,  1618,  says,  "The 
prince  his  birthday  has  been  solemnized  here  by  the  few  marquises  and  lords 
which  found  themselves  here  ;  and  (to  supply  the  want  of  lords)  knights  and 
squires  were  admitted  to  a  consultation,  wherein  it  was  resolved  that  such  a 
number  should  meet  at  Gamiges,  and  bring  every  man  his  dish  of  meat.  It 
was  left  to  their  own  choice  what  to  bring  ;  some  chose  to  be  substantial, 
some  curious,  some  extravagant.  Sir  George  Young's  invention  bore  away 
the  bell ;  and  that  was  four  huge,  brawny  pigs,  piping  hot,  bitted  and  har- 
nessed with  ropes  of  sarsiges,  all  tied  to  a  monstrous  bag-pudding." 

Pidgin,  or  Pigeon,  English, — i.e.,  business  English, — a  curious  macaronic 
corruption  of  English  and  Portuguese  tortured  into  Chinese  idioms  suited 
to  the  exigencies  of  the  average  Chinese,  to  whom  good  grammatical  English 
is  a  phonetic  and  linguistic  impossibility.  A  vast  number  of  English  words 
are  unpronounceable  by  the  Celestial,  for  he  has  no  parallel  sounds  in  his  own 
language.  Neither  has  he  conjugations,  declensions,  tenses,  or  other  acci- 
dents of  grammar.  To  denote  even  the  plural  some  words  of  plurality  must 
be  subjoined.  And  only  from  the  context  can  it  be  decided  whether  a  word 
is  to  be  understood  as  a  noun-substantive  or  noun-adjective,  a  verb,  adverb, 
preposition,  or  conjunction.  Some  idea  of  the  jargon  which  results  from  the 
Celestial  attempt  to  grapple  with  the  lingo  of  the  Western  barbarians  may  be 
gained  from  a  little  volume  entitled  "A  Vocabulary  of  Words  in  Common 
Use  among  the  Red-haired  People,"  one  of  many  similar  manuals  emanating 
from  the  native  genius.  Its  outer  cover  is  ornamented  with  a  full-length  por- 
trait of  one  of  the  red-haired  race,  appropriately  dressed  in  the  costume  of 
the  early  Georgian  period, — in  breeches  and  stockings,  and  armed  with  sword 
and  stick. 

The  author  begins  with  the  English  numerals,  and  gets  over  "one"  and 
"two"  very  creditably,  but  "  te-le"  is  his  nearest  approach  to  "three," — the 
letter  r  is  an  insuperable  difficulty  to  a  Chinaman, — "sik-sze"  to  "six,"  and 
"sam"  to  "seven."  "Ten"  he  pronounces,  as  though  he  he  had  been  tutored 
in  the  Emerald  Isle,  "  tin  ;"  "  lim"  stands  for  "  eleven,"  "  tui-lip"  for  "  twelve," 
"toon-tee"  for  "twenty,"  "one  huntoon"  for  "a  hundred,"  "one  taou-shan" 
for  "a  thousand."     In  Chinese  there  is  always  inserted  between  the  numeral 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  88^ 

and  the  substantive  to  which  it  applies  a  word  which  it  is  customary  to  call 
a  classifier,  since  it  points  to  the  kind  of  object  represented  by  the  substan- 
tive. F"or  example,  instead  of  saying  "two  knives,"  a  Chinaman  would  say 
"  two-to-be-held-in-the-hand  knives;"  or,  instead  of  "a  table,"  he  would  say 
"one  length  table."  These  various  classifiers  the  authors  of  pidgin  English 
have  melted  down  into  one  word,  "  piece."  The  writer,  therefore,  translates 
the  Chinese  equivalent  of  our  indefinite  article  as  "one  pe-sze,"  and  a  knife 
he  would  render  by  "one  pe-sze  nai-fo."  The  use  in  Chinese  of  the  verb 
"to  have,"  which  is  to  be  pronounced  "hap,"  has  given  rise  to  strange  con- 
fusions. "  No  hap"  is  the  orthodox  expression  for  "  not  at  home,"  and  a  death 
is  announced  by  "hap  tai"  (has  died).  In  the  same  way  "fashionable"  be- 
comes "hap  fa-sze"  (fashion);  "to  be  busy,"  "hap  pidgin;"  and  "to  be  at 
leisure,"  "  hap  tim." 

Here  are  a  few  more  words,  selected  almost  at  random:  aulo,  "old;" 
au-sai,  "outside;"  che-sze,  "  ciiest ;"  fi-sze,  "fish;"  foo-lin,  "friend"  (flin)  ; 
ga-lan-ti,  "grand,"  "great;"  hing-ki-chi,  "handkerchief;"  ha-sze-man,  "hus- 
band ;"  ka-lin,  "  to  call ;"  kam-pat-to,  "  comprador"  or  "  steward  ;"  lin,  "  rain" 
(Iain);  liit,  "red"  (led);  nip-te,  "liberty;"  shi-lip,  "sleep;"  sze-pik-ki, 
"speak;"  ting-ki,  "thankyou;"  yeung-ki,  "uncle;"  yang-shi-lutta,  "youngest 
brother  ;"  Ying-land,  "  England." 

The  word  pidgin,  or  business,  is  used  with  such  a  large  and  even-handed 
liberality — expressing,  indeed,  almost  every  conceivable  act  and  emotion  of 
humanity — that  it  has  come  to  be  the  generic  name  for  the  dialect.  Usually 
a  prefix  is  added  to  limit  or  qualify  the  particular  meaning.  Thus,  the  passion 
of  love  is  called  "  love-pidgin,"  a  phrase  intensified  into  "  love-love-pidgin" 
when  it  is  of  a  very  passionate  and  earthly  stamp.  Perhaps  no  better  exem- 
plification of  the  absurdities  of  this  dialect  can  be  given  than  the  following 
translation  of  Longfellow's  "  Excelsior  :" 

That  nightee  tim  begin  chop-chop. 
One  young  man  walkee,  no  can  stop — 
Makee  colo  !    makee  icee  ! 
He  cally  that  flag  wid  chop  so  nicee, 

"  Topside  Galah !" 

He  too  muchee  solly,  one  piece  eye 
Look  see  sharpo — so — alio  same  my. 
He  talkee  largee,  talkee  stlong. 
Too  muchee  cuUo— alio  same  gong — 

"  Topside  Galah !" 

Inside  that  housee  he  can  see  light, 
And  early  loom  got  fire  all  lite  ; 
Ousside,  that  icee  largee  high. 
Inside  he  mouf,  he  plenty  cly, 

"  Topside  Galah  1" 

Olo  man  talkee.  No  can  walkee  ! 
Bimeby  lain  come — welly  darkee, 
Hab  got  water,  too  muchee  wide  ! 
Maskee  !  mus  wantchee  go  topside — 

"  Topside  Galah !" 

"  Man-man,"  one  girlee  talkee  he, 
"  What  for  you  go  topside  look  see?" 
And  one  tim  more  he  plenty  cly, 
But  alio  tim  walkee  plenty  high, 

"  Topside  Galah !" 

"  Take  care  that  spilem-tlee,  young  man  1 
Take  care  that  icee,  he  no  man-man !" 
That  coolie  chin-chin  he  good  night. 
He  talkee,  "  My  can  go  all  lite  !" 

"  Topside  Galah  l"  . 

2N  75 


890  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Joss  Pidgin  man  he  soon  begin 
1  hat  morning  tim  that  Joss  chin-chin  ; 
He  no  man  see — he  plenty  fear, 
Cause  some  man  speakee — he  can  hear — 
"  Topside  Galah !" 

That  young  man  die— one  largee  dog  see, 
Too  rauchee  bobbely  findee  he  ; 
His  hand  b'long  colo  alio  same  icee. 
Have  got  that  flag  wid  chop  so  nicee, 

"  Topside  Galah  !" 

MORAL. 

You  too  muchee  laugho  !  what  for  sing  ? 
I  tink  you  no  savey  what  ting? 
S'pose  you  no  b'long  cleber  inside, 
More  better  you  go  walkee  topside. 

"  Topside  Galah  I" 

Pigs,  An't  please  the,  a  current  English  vulgarism.  Ifr  is  usually  ex- 
plained as  a  corruption  of  "  an't  please  the  pyx,"  understanding  thereby  the 
consecrated  wafer  deposited  in  the  pyx,  and  so  making  it  equivalent  to  "  Deo 
volente"  in  the  minds  of  transubstantiationalists.  Others,  however,  see  in  pyx 
not  the  box  in  which  the  host  was  kept,  but  the  box  used  in  English  coinage 
for  certain  coins  kept  as  a  test  of  the  weight  and  fineness  of  the  metal  before 
it  is  sent  from  the  mint.  Either  explanation  is  plausible,  neither  is  con- 
vincing. The  derivation  which  looks  upon  pigs  as  being  a  corruption  o{ pixies 
— i.e.,  fairies — has  about  equal,  though  no  greater,  claims  to  serious  etymo- 
logical consideration.  It  is  said  that  in  Devonshire  to  this  day  "  an't  please 
the  pixies"  is  a  common  phrase. 

Pillar  to  post.  This  familiar  English  expression  is  said  to  be  derived 
from  a  custom  practised  in  the  manege,  or  riding-school.  The  pillar  was 
placed  in  the  centre  of  the  riding-ground,  and  the  columns  or  posts  were 
arranged  two  and  two  round  the  circumference  of  the  ring,  at  equal  distances. 
Hence  "from  pillar  to  post"  signified  going  from  one  thing  to  another  with- 
out any  definite  purpose.  This,  on  the  whole,  seems  more  likely  than  the 
alternative  derivation  from  the  German  "Von  Pilatus  zu  Pontius"  or  "Von 
Pontius  zu  Pilatus"  (in  itself  a  corruption  of  "Von  Pontius  Pilatus  zu 
Herodes"),  which  means  to  send  a  man  who  is  in  want  of  advice  from  one 
quarter  to  another,  without  enabling  him  to  attain  the  desired  information  or 
advice. 

Pink,  the  conventional  sporting  name  for  scarlet,  the  color  of  the  hunting-coat 
used  especially  in  fox-hunting.  Exactly  when  this  coat  came  into  fashion,  and 
why,  are  still  moot  questions.  There  is  a  story  that  it  originated  in  the  mishap 
of  a  military  officer  who,  once  upon  a  time,  having  lost  his  baggage,  was  com- 
pelled to  hunt  in  his  regimentals.  His  host  began  by  excusing  the  breach  of 
etiquette,  and  ended  by  perceiving  the  beauty  and  fitness  of  the  change.  But 
this  story  wears  a  decidedly  mythical  air.  The  old  hunting-song  records  the 
fact  that  John  Peel,  of  Cumberland  renown,  wore  gray,  and  in  times  long 
gone  by  the  thirty  huntsmen  of  the  Lords  Berkeley,  whose  kennels  were  at 
the  village  of  Charing  (now  Charing  Cross),  arrayed  themselves  in  tawny 
coats.  But  this  may  have  been  merely  the  result  of  a  temporary  Jacobite 
prejudice  against  scarlet,  because  the  "  illustrious  House  of  Hanover"  was 
credited  with  introducing  it  as  the  color  of  the  royal  livery.  The  tradition  of 
"  Oliver's  red-coats,"  who  constrained  the  king's  guards  for  a  while  to  clothe 
themselves  in  "Oxford  blue,"  may  also  have  had  something  to  do  with  it. 
The  "  pink"  coats  of  the  hunting-field  are  at  least  old  enough  to  have  gone 
through  a  considerable  variety  of  fashions.     The  earliest  have  been  likened 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  891 

for  length  and  fulness  to  scarlet  dressing-gowns.  Fashion  then  went  to  the 
opposite  extreme  of  tight  swallow-tails ;  the  latter  were  succeeded  by  the 
morning-coat  pattern,  now  generally  giving  way  to  the  single-breasted  frock. 

The  "Pink  'un"  is  a  sobriquet  for  the  English  Sporting  Times,  which,  like  its 
Anjerican  namesake  and  imitator,  is  printed  on  pink  paper. 

Pipe  —  Eye.  During  the  celebrated  Westminster  election  of  1784  the 
beautiful  Duchess  of  Devonshire  enthusiastically  espoused  the  cause  of  Charles 
James  Fox,  going  so  far  as  to  purchase  the  vote  of  a  butcher  with  a  kiss.  It 
was  on  another  of  these  canvassing  visits  that  an  Irish  dustman  paid  her  the 
famous  compliment,  "  Let  me  light  my  pipe  at  your  ladyship's  eyes."  The 
duchess  was  delighted,  and  often  said,  "Oh,  after  the  dustman's  compliment, 
all  others  are  insipid."  It  is  not  at  all  likely  that  the  Irishman  was  familiar 
with  Ben  Jonson,  yet  the  same  daring  figure  maybe  found  in  "Cynthia's 
Revels,"  Act  v.,  Sc.  2  : 

Mer.  Your  cheeks  are  Cupid's  baths,  wherein  he  uses  to  steep  himself  in  milk  and  nectar; 
he  does  light  all  his  torches  at  your  eyes,  and  instructs  you  how  to  shoot  and  wound  with 
their  beams. 

Still  less  likely  is  it  that  he  had  ever  run  across  the  following  lines  in  Tibullus, 
iv.  2: 

Sulpicia  est  tibi  culta  tuis.     Mars  magnae  Calendis 
Spectatum  e  coelo,  si  sapis,  ipse  veni, 
Hoc  Venus  ignoscit :  at  tu  violente  caveto 
Ne  tibi  miranii  turpitur  arma  cadant. 
lUius  ex  oculis,  cum  vult  exurere  divos 
Accendit  geminas  lampadas  acer  Amor. 

Pipe  of  peace,  Smoking  the, — i.e.,  to  sit  in  friendly  council.  A  phrase 
derived  from  the  custom  of  American  Indians,  who  in  making  treaties  or 
other  friendly  negotiations  would  pass  a  lighted  pipe  (called  a  calumet)  from 
mouth  to  mouth,  to  signify  the  peaceful  nature  of  the  meeting.  The  familiar 
locution  "  Put  that  in  your  pipe  and  smoke  it"  may  have  some  reference  to  the 
phrase. 

Pipe-laying,  in  American  slang,  procuring  fraudulent  votes.  It  is  said 
to  have  arisen  in  1835,  when  the  leaders  of  the  Whig  party  in  New  York 
were  accused  of  a  gigantic  scheme  to  bring  on  voters  from  Philadelphia.  The 
work  of  laying  down  pipes  for  the  Croton  water  was  then  in  active  operation. 
A  certain  agent  of  the  Whigs  turned  traitor  and  placed  in  the  hands  of  the 
Democrats  a  mass  of  correspondence,  mainly  letters  written  by  himself  to 
various  parties  in  New  York,  apparently  describing  the  progress  and  success 
of  his  operations.  In  these  letters  the  form  of  a  mere  business  correspond- 
ence was  adopted, — the  number  of  men  hired  to  visit  New  York  and  vote 
being  spoken  of  as  so  many  yards  of  pipe.  The  Whig  leaders  were  actually 
indicted  and  the  letters  read  in  court,  but  the  jury  believed  neither  in  them 
nor  in  the  writer  of  them,  and  the  accused  were  acquitted. 

Plagiarism  and  Plagiarists.  Is  plagiarism  a  crime  ?  For  ourselves 
we  confess  that  we  hold  it  only  a  venial  offence — unless,  of  course,  it  is  found 
out.  If  a  man  thrills  us  with  the  joy  and  gladness  of  a  great  thought,  what 
matter  where  he  got  it.-"  We  might  have  passed  our  lives  in  ignorance  there- 
of The  discoverer  is  as  great  a  benefactor  as  the  originator.  And  then,  to 
be  Irish,  the  originator  may  not  have  originated  it.  We  have  often  wondered 
why  it  was  that  the  stupid  ogres  and  other  monsters  of  the  fairy-tales,  who 
wished  to  give  an  impossible  task  to  the  prince  they  had  got  into  their 
clutches,  never  set  him  to  tracing  an  idea  to  its  source.  Not  all  the  inge- 
nuity of  Prince  Charming,  aided  by  all  the  magic  arts  of  all  the  Grateful 


892  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Beasts  and  Enchanted  Princesses  and  other  adventitious  allies,  could  have 
saved  that  tender  young  prince  from  gracing  the  ogre's  larder. 

"  Of  all  forms  of  theft,"  says  Voltaire,  "  plagiarism  is  the  least  dangerous 
to  society."  Not  only  that,  it  is  often  beneficial.  In  mechanics  all  inventions 
are  plagiarisms.  If  inventors  had  not  borrowed  ideas  from  their  prede- 
cessors, progress  would  come  to  a  stand-still.  Shall  I  refuse  to  own  a  time- 
piece because  my  watchmaker  is  not  original .'  Shall  I  eschew  the  benefits 
of  the  modern  railroad  because  I  find  the  germ  of  the  idea  in  the  steam- 
engine  of  the  pre-Christian  Hero  .''  "  A  ship,"  says  Emerson,  "  is  a  quotation 
from  a  forest."  But  inasmuch  as  it  is  not  enclosed  in  quotation-marks  a  ship 
is  rank  plagiarism.  Shakespeare  stole  plots,  incidents,  and  ideas  from  his 
forerunners.  Moliere  derived  not  only  his  plots,  but  the  dialogues  of  whole 
scenes,  from  Italian  comedies.  Thank  God  that  these  great  men  had  no 
literary  conscience  !  Moliere  openly  acknowledged  he  had  none.  "  I  con- 
quer my  own  wherever  I  find  it,"  he  says,  with  magnificent  candor.  And  we 
get  a  new  regard  for  Pope  when  we  find  him  openly  acknowledging,  "  I 
freely  confess  that  I  have  served  myself  all  I  could  by  reading." 

Mr.  Cordy  Jeaffreson  has  laid  down  the  maxim  that  originality  can  be  ex- 
pected from  nobody  save  a  lunatic,  a  hermit,  or  a  sensational  novelist.  But 
Andrew  Lang  calls  thjs  a  hasty  generalization.  "  People,"  he  says,  "  will 
inevitably  turn  to  these  members  of  society  (if  we  can  speak  thus  of  hermits 
and  lunatics),  and  ask  them  for  originality,  and  fail  to  get  it,  and  express  dis- 
appointment. For  all  lunatics  are  like  other  lunatics,  and  no  more  than 
sane  men  can  they  do  anything  original.  As  for  hermits,  one  hermit  is  the 
very  image  of  his  brother  solitary.  There  remain  sensational  novelists  to  bear 
the  brunt  of  the  world's  demand  for  the  absolutely  unheard-of,  and,  naturally, 
they  cannot  supply  the  article.  So  mankind  falls  on  them,  and  call?  them 
plagiarists.  It  is  enough  to  make  some  novelists  turn  lunatics  and  others 
hermits." 

Let  us  take  the  case  of  Disraeli's  famous  funeral  oration  over  Wellington. 
It  proved  to  have  been  stolen  bodily  from  a  review  article  by  Thiers  on 
Marshal  Saint-Cyr.  A  rather  neat  epigram  on  the  affair  appeared  in  the 
Examiner : 

In  sounding  great  Wellington's  praise, 

Dizzy's  grief  and  his  truth  both  appear; 
For  a  flood  of  great  Thiers  he  lets  fall. 
Which  were  certainly  meant  for  Saint-Cyr. 

But  now  mark  what  far-reaching  benefits  accrued  from  Disraeli's  plagiarism. 
In  the  first  place,  he  gave  a  great  deal  of  pleasure  to  his  hearers  which  he 
could  not  have  given  otherwise.  The  review  article  was  better  than  anything 
he  could  have  offered  himself,  otherwise  he  would  not  have  filched  it.  Now, 
the  pleasure  was  an  actual  pleasure  ;  when  the  moment  had  fled,  it  could  not 
be  retracted  or  embittered  by  any  subsequent  development.  Then  he  gave 
his  critics  the  pleasure  of  detecting  him, — a  great  delight  accorded  to  a  worthy 
and  deserving  and  very  hard-worked  class.  The  whole  of  England  was 
aroused,  amused,  and  interested.  In  fact,  Disraeli  proved  himself  an  all- 
round  benefactor.  Nobody  was  injured,  not  even  Thiers.  For  although  we 
are  pleased  to  say,  in  our  metaphorical  language,  that  a  plagiarist  shines  in 
stolen  plumes,  not  a  plume  is  really  lost  by  the  fowl  who  originally  grew 
them. 

Disraeli,  indeed,  was  a  perpetual  plagiarist.  There  is  hardly  a  clever  mot, 
a  quotable  saying,  in  all  his  books,  which  can  be  called  original.  Who  bears 
him  any  grudge  for  that .?  He  may  not  have  mined  the  gold,  bnt  he  purified 
it,  stamped  it  with  his  own  sign-manual,  and  sent  it  into  circulation.  The 
famous  passage  in  his  speeches  comparing  the  members  of  the  opposition  to 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  893 

extinct  volcanoes  was  inspired  by  a  passage  in  Hope's  "  Anastasius,"  a  book 
which  also  suggested  some  of  the  best  portions  of  "Tancred."  The  perora- 
tion of  his  speech  on  the  Corn  Law  Bill  (May  15,  1846)  was  taken  from 
Urquhart's  "  Diplomatic  Transactions  in  Central  Asia."  In  the  first  edition 
of  •'  Venetia,"  a  passage  was  "  conveyed"  from  Macaulay's  essay  on  Byron. 
The  famous  phrase  in  "  Lothair,"  "  You  know  who  the  critics  are,  the  men 
who  have  failed  in  literature  and  art,"  is  the  expression,  almost  in  the  same 
words,  of  a  thought  that  had  already  occurred  to  Landor,  to  Balzac,  to 
Dumas,  to  Pope,  to  Shenstone,  to  Dryden.     (See  Critics.) 

A  correspondent  of  the  AthencBum  in  1873  produced  some  very  curious 
evidence  that  Mr.  Disraeli,  when  in  his  novel  "  Venetia"  he  sketched  Lord 
Caducis, — who  is,  of  course,  intended  for  Lord  Byron, — had  before  him  at 
least  one  unpublished  letter  purporting  to  have  been  written  by  Byron.  The 
letter  in  question  was  in  the  writer's  possession,  and  is  dated  Pisa,  April  12, 
1822  (about  three  months  before  Shelley's  death,  when  Byron  was  certainly 
in  Pisa).  It  contains  some  sentences  which  are  repeated  word  for  word  by 
Lord  Caducis  in  the  fourth  chapter  of  the  sixth  book  of  "Venetia  :"  "  When 
I  once  take  you  in  hand,  it  will  be  difficult  for  me  not  'to  make  sport  of  the 
Philistines.'  Now  we  look  upon  ourselves  as  something,  O  fellows  with 
some  pith  ;  how  we  could  lay  it  on  !  I  think  I  see  them  wincing  under  the 
thong,  the  pompous  poltroons."  And  again  :  "  I  made  out  a  list,  the  other 
day,  of  all  the  things  and  persons  I  have  been  compared  to.  It  begins  well 
with  Alcibiades,  but  ends  with  the  Swiss  giantess,  or  the  Polish  dwarf,  I 
forget  which." 

The  Hon.  Mr.  John  J.  Ingalls  once  performed  a  feat  very  like  Disraeli's 
Wellington  oration.  In  May,  1890,  he  delivered  an  eloquent  eulogy  on  a 
recently-deceased  gentleman  named  J.  N.  Barnes.  It  was  highly  praised  as  a 
splendid  bit  of  rhetoric.  For  a  few  days  Mr.  Ingalls  was  the  hero  of  the 
hour.  Then  some  newspaper  fiend  discovered  that  the  eulogy  had  been 
calmly  appropriated  from  a  sermon  by  Massillon.  He  published  his  discovery 
in  those  fatal  parallel  columns  which  often  have  proved  so  deadly  a  weapon 
of  offence  in  the  hands  of  the  malicious.  We  will  take  the  concluding  para- 
graph to  show  the  method  of  the  great  orator  : 

To  sum  up  all :  If  we  must  wholly  perish,  This    is   the    conclusion    which    the    phi- 
then  is  obedience  to  laws  but  an  insensate  losophy  of  negation  must  accept  at  last.     If 
servitude ;  rulers  and  magistrates  are  but  these  teachings  are  right,  then  obedience  to 
the  phantoms  which  popular  imbecility  has  law  is  an   indefensible  servitude;    rulers 
raised  up  ;  justice  is  an  unwarrantable  in-  and  magistrates  are  despots,  tolerated  only 
fringement   upon   the   liberty  of  men,— an  by  popular  imbecility ;  justice  is  a  denial 
imposition,  a  usurpation:  the  law  of  mar-  of  liberty:    honor   and  truth   are   trivial 
riage  a  vain  scruple :  modesty  a  prejudice :  rhapsodies:    murder  and  perjury  are  de- 
honor  and  probity,  such  stuff  as  dreams  are  risive  jests,  and  their  harsh  defnttions  are 
made  of :  and  incests,  murders,  parricides,  frivolous  phrases    invented  by   tyrants    to 
the  most  heartless  cruelties  and  the  blackest  impose  upon  the  timidity  of  cowards  and 
crimes,are  but  the  legitimate  sports  of  man's  the  credulity  of  slaves.               .        ,   ,        , 
irrepressible  nature;  while  the  harsh  e pi-  This  ts  the  conclusion  ^hichlhe philosophy 
thets  attached  to  them  are  merely  such  as  of  negation  must  accept  at  last.     Such  is  the 
the  policy  of  legislators  has  invented  and  felicity  of  those  degrading  precepts  which 
imposedonthecredulity  of  the  people.    Here  make  the  epitaph  the  end.     If  these  teachers 
is  the  issue  to  which  the  vaunted  philosophy  are   right,  then   we  are  atoms   in  a  moral 
of  unbelievers  must  inevitably  lead.     Here  is  chaos. 
that  soc\a.\  felicity,  that  sway  of  reason,  that 
emancipation  from  error,  of  which  they  eter- 
nally   prate,   as   the    fruit    of  their  doctrines. 
Accept  their  maxims,  and  the  whole  world 
falls  back  into  a  frightful  chaos. 

Charles  Reade  was  quite  as  skilful  an  adapter  as  Disraeli  or  Ingalls.  How 
many  of  his  best  things  came  out  of  his  scrap-books  we  shall  never  know. 
But  we  do  know  that  in  "The  Wandering  Heir"  he  appropriated  bodily  a  not 

75* 


894  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

inconsiderable  fraction  of  Swift's  "  Polite  Conversation."  He  was  denounced 
by  two  anonymous  writers,  who  afterwards  proved  to  be  an  unsuccessful 
novelist  and  his  wife.  Whereupon  he  came  out  in  a  vigorous  defence,  and, 
having  called  his  critics  "  anonymuncuia,  pseudonymuncula,  and  skunkala" 
ambushed  behind  masked  batteries,  he  proceeded  to  show  that  the  transplant- 
ing of  a  few  lines  out  of  Swift,  and  the  welding  them  with  other  topics  in  a 
homogeneous  work,  was  not  plagiarism,  but  one  of  every  true  inventor's  pro- 
cesses, and  that  only  an  inventor  could  do  it  well, — an  advanced  theory,  of 
course,  but  we  pardon  it  for  the  delightful  insouciance  of  its  conceit.  Reade 
was  always  full  of  charming  excuses.  When  he  was  attacked  for  taking  a 
French  play  by  Alphonse  Maquet  and  turning  it,  without  acknowledgment, 
into  the  English  "  White  Lies,"  he  simply  claimed  that  he  had  bought  the 
idea  from  the  original  author,  and  was  entitled  to  use  it  as  he  chose.  Though 
this  reply  did  not  pacify  his  critics,  we  are  not  sure  that  it  was  not  excellent 
good  sense.  If  plagiarism  is  stealing,  surely  the  thing  alters  its  character 
when  you  purchase  the  property  from  the  original  owner. 

The  compiler  of  an  adequate  "Curiosities  of  Plagiarism"  would  have  to 
devote  a  special  chapter  to  the  Protean  adventures  of  a  novelette  by  Mme. 
Charles  Reybaud.  Let  us  relate  them  as  curtly  as  possible.  In  1883,  Charles 
Reade  published  a  story  called  "The  Picture  in  my  Uncle's  Dining-Room." 
Then  the  fun  began.  One  lynx-eyed  detective  found  in  a  forgotten  magazine 
a  story  called  "The  Old  M'sieu's  Secret,"  which  was  almost  identical  in  plot 
and  characters  with  Reade's  story.  Then  another  critic  found  another  story 
in  another  forgotten  magazine,  entitled  "  Where  Shall  he  Find  Her.?"  (the  title 
is  curiously  apt),  which  was  also  identical  in  essentials  with  Reade's  story. 
Things  became  mixed.  Both  the  forgotten  stories  were  anonymous.  Both 
were  so  like  each  other,  and  so  like  Reade's,  that  it  was  impossible  they  should 
have  been  written  independently.  At  last  the  mystery  was  explained.  All 
three,  it  was  found,  were  adaptations  or  paraphrases  from  Mme.  Reybaud's 
"Mile,  de  Malepierre."  Reade,  indeed,  had  remodelled  ihe  story  and 
deepened  the  dramatic  interest,  but  the  paternity  was  indisputable.  Hardly 
had  the  smoke  of  the  controversy  died  away  in  England  when  the  war  was 
carried  into  Germany,  where  one  A.  von  Bosse  published  in  Ueber  Land  U7id 
Meer  a  story  entitled  "  Das  Lebende  Bild,"  which  proved  to  be  "  Mile,  de 
Malepierre"  again,  in  Teutonic  dress. 

It  was  De  Quincey  who  first  pointed  out  that  Coleridge's  Hymn  is  a  glo- 
rious paraphrase  of  a  little-known  poem  by  the  German  authoress  Frederica 
Brunn,  entitled  "Chamouni  at  Sunrise."  Here  is  the  poem  as  translated  by 
Charles  T.  Brooks  in  his  "  Songs  and  Ballads  from  the  German  Lyric  Poets," 
Boston,  1842 : 

From  the  deep  shadow  of  the  silent  fir-grove 

I  lift  my  eyes,  and  trembling  look  on  thee, 

Brow  of  eternity,  thou  dazzling  peak, 

From  whose  calm  height  my  dreaming  spirit  mounts 

And  soars  away  into  the  infinite  I 

Who  sank  the  pillar  in  the  lap  of  earth, 

Down  deep,  the  pillar  of  eternal  rock. 

On  which  thy  mass  stands  firm,  and  firm  hath  stood 

While  centuries  on  centuries  rushed  along  ? 

Who  reared,  up-towering  through  the  vaulted  blue. 

Mighty  and  bold,  thy  radiant  countenance? 

Who  poured  you  from  on  high  with  thunder-soimd, 

Down  from  old  Winter's  everlasting  realm, 

O  jagged  streams,  o'er  rock  and  through  ravine? 

And  whose  almighty  voice  commanded  loud, 

"  Here  shall  the  stiffening  billows  rest  awhile  1" 


literar'y  curiosities.  895 

Whose  finger  points  yon  morning  star  his  course  T 
Who  fringed  with  blossom-wreaths  the  eternal  frost? 
Whose  name,  O  wild  Arveiron,  does  thy  din 
Of  waves  sound  out  in  dreadful  harmonies  ? 

"  Jehovah  !"  crashes  in  the  bursting  ice  ; 
Down  through  the  gorge  the  rolling  avalanche 
Carries  the  word  in  thunder  to  the  vales. 
"  Jehovah  !"  murmurs  in  the  morning  breeze, 
Along  the  trembling  tree-tops  ;  down  below 
It  whispers  in  the  purling,  silvery  brooks. 

While  De  Quincey  urges  that  the  mere  framework  of  the  poem  is  exactly 
the  same,  he  has  the  good  sense  to  own  that  by  a  judicious  amplification  of 
some  topics,  and  by  its  far  deeper  tone  of  lyrical  enthusiasm,  "the  dry  bones 
of  the  German  outline  have  been  created  by  Coleridge  into  the  fulness  of 
life."  Excuse  and  justification  enough.  If  the  people  who  are  inclined  to 
throw  stones  at  Coleridge  for  this  and  similar  appropriations  would  only  turn 
their  gigantic  mental  strength  to  plagiarisms  of  this  sort,  they  would  be  a 
blessing  to  the  community  in  lieu  of  a  curse. 

Gray's  "  Elegy"  has  been  called  a  cento  by  over-nice  critics,  whose  con- 
science is  alarmed  by  the  wicked  unscrupulousness  of  their  betters.  The 
very  first  line  they  trace  back  to  Dante  : 

The  curfew  tolls  the  knell  of  parting  day. 

Gray  :  Elegy. 

And  pilgrim,  newly  on  his  road,  with  love 
Thrills,  if  he  hear  the  vesper  bell  from  far. 
That  seems  to  mourn  for  the  expiring  day. 

Purgatory,  Canto  viii.,  1.  5,  Gary's  trans. 

The  gem  of  purest  rare  serene,  the  flower  born  to  blush  unseen,  the  'mute 
inglorious  Milton,  have  been  traced  back  to  heaven  knows  how  many  paral- 
lels in  Greek,  Latin,  Italian,  and  English  poetry.  (See  Gem  —  Flower,  Mute 
Inglorious  Milton.)  But  beyond  these  obvious  imitations,  does  it  not  owe 
many  of  its  most  felicitous  expressions  and  touches  to  a  trick  of  inlaying  which 
familiarity  with  elder  poets  assisted?  To  such  disparaging  queries  it  might 
suffice  to  retort  Walter  Savage  Landor's  language  applied  to  critics  :  "  Fleas 
know  not  whether  they  are  upon  the  body  of  a  giant  or  upon  one  of  an  ordi- 
nary size,  and  bite  both  indiscriminately." 

"Owen  Meredith"  (Lord  Lytton)  was  one  of  the  most  consistent,  indefati- 
gable, and  audacious  plagiarists  that  ever  lived.  It  is  quite  possible  he  never 
wrote  an  original  line  in  his  life.  At  all  events,  every  apt  or  striking  line, 
every  pretty  sentiment,  and  every  unusual  incident  in  every  one  of  his  books 
has  been  traced  to  some  original  either  in  English  or  foreign  literature.  It 
was  the  latter  to  which  he  was  chiefly  indebted.  Doubtless  he  held  himself 
safer  there,  for  when  he  first  came  upon  the  scene  Englishmen  had  small  ac- 
quaintance with  the  literature  of  other  countries. 

Yet  English  authors  were  not  quite  safe  at  his  hands.  Years  ago  an  article 
in  the  North  British  Review  called  attention  to  the  close  resemblance  of  cer- 
tain passages  in  his  "  Gyges  and  Candaules"  to  some  of  the  finest  lines  in 
Keats's  "  St.  Agnes."  Verses  from  other  English  poets  were  cited,  too,  which 
had  been  adapted  to  his  own  use  with  very  little  change.  The  author  of  the 
article,  with  an  urbanity  rare  in  Scotch  reviewers  of  British  bards,  alluded  to 
this  tendency  as  "  the  unconscious  sympathy  of  the  mocking-bird."  Indeed, 
the  entire  British  public  has  treated  the  noble  pilferer  with  a  leniency  that  is 
extraordinary  when  contrasted  with  its  severity  to  other  offenders,  ^yhen 
it  was  first  made  known,  for  example,  that  "  Lucile"  was  a  barefaced  bit  of 
plagiarism,  the  English  press,  for  some  reason  or  other,  was  inclined  to  hush 
up  the  matter  ;  and  to-day  there  is  a  large  circle  of  Owen  Meredith's  admirers 


896  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

who  have  never  had  their  faith  disturbed,  never  known  that  "  Lucile"  was 
George  Sand's  and  not  Lord  Lytton's.  Yet  so  it  is.  The  first  part  of  that 
novel  in  verse  is  merely  the  prose  story  of  "Lavinia"  faithfully  done  into 
galloping  English  anajiests. 

But  George  Sand  is  not  the  only  foreign  author  whom  milord  laid  under 
contribution.  Here  and  there  jewels  were  filched  from  Musset,  from  Heine, 
from  some  other  of  the  great  masters  of  lyric  verse,  and  embedded  in  this  lit- 
erary crazy-quilt.  Who,  on  first  reading  "Lucile,"  has  not  held  his  breath 
when  he  came  to  these  splendid  lines  .'' — 

Though  divine  Aphrodite  should  open  her  arms 
To  our  longing,  and  lull  us  to  sleep  on  her  charms. 
Though  the  world  its  full  sense  of  enjoyment  insure  us, 
Though  Horace,  Lucretius,  and  old  Epicurus 
Sit  beside  us  and  swear  we  are  happy,  what  then  ? 
Whence  the  answer  within  us  that  cries  to  these  men, 
"  Let  it  be  !     You  say  well ;  but  the  world  is  too  old 
To  rekindle  within  it  the  ages  of  gold  ; 
A  vast  hope  has  traversed  the  earth,  and  our  eyes 
In  despite  of  ourselves  we  must  lift  to  the  skies !" 

The  lines  are  merely  a  free  translation  of  Musset,  in  his  "  Espoir  en  Dieu  :" 
Que  la  blonde  Astarte,  qu'idolatrait  la  Grece, 
Ce  ses  lies  d'azur  sort  en  m'ouvrant  les  bras  ; 

****** 
Quand  Horace,  Lucrfece,  et  le  vieil  Epicure, 
Assis  i  mes  cotes,  m'appelleraient  heureux  ; 

****** 
Je  leur  dirais  4  tons,  "  Quoi  que  nous  puissions  faire, 
Je  souffre,  il  est  trop  tard  ;  le  monde  s'est  fait  vieux. 
Une  immense  esperance  a  traverse  la  terre  ; 
Malgre  nous  vers  le  ciel  il  faut  lever  les  yeux." 
Mere  plagiarism,  however,  is  not  the  only  literary  offence  of  which  Owen 
Meredith  has  been  guilty.  A  very  complicated  bit  of  imposition  has  been 
brought  home  to  him.  He  once  held  a  diplomatic  position  in  one  of  the 
Danubian  principalities.  On  his  return  to  England  he  published  a  volume 
entitled  "  Serbski  Pesme."  It  consisted  of  a  series  of  poems,  ostensibly 
paraphrases  from  ancient  Servian  originals.  Here  it  was  not  his  originality 
which  Mr.  Lytton  called  on  the  world  to  admire,  but  his  learning,  his  inde- 
fatigable research,  his  sym[)athy  with  the  unrecognized  masterpieces  of  the 
world's  literature.  He  was  an  explorer  in  a  new  field  who  had  made  valuable 
discoveries.  At  first  the  English  public  took  him  at  his  word.  But  it  was 
soon  whispered  that  the  very  title  of  his  book  betrayed  an  extraordinary  ig- 
norance of  the  Servian  language, — that  it  had  been  constructed  on  the  princi- 
ple that  the  philosopher  in  Pickwick  found  so  useful  when  he  conceived  his 
essay  on  Chinese  metaphysics  :  the  poet  had  evidently  hunted  up  in  a  dic- 
tionary the  word  for  Servian  and  the  word  for  poems,  and  joined  them  to- 
gether without  any  regard  for  the  grammatical  laws  of  number  and  case.  If 
the  very  title  betrayed  so  much  ignorance,  what  trust  could  be  put  in  the 
body  of  the  work  ?  And,  indeed,  it  was  eventually  proved  that  the  poems 
were  not  Servian  at  all,  nor  translations  from  the  Servian,  nor  even  original. 
They  had  been  boldly  taken  without  acknowledgment  from  an  impudent  lit- 
erary mystification  which  a  Gallic  author  had  foisted  on  the  French  public. 

There  is  a  little  poem  of  Heine's,  entitled  "  Ein  Weib,"  which  begins  as 
follows : 

Sie  hatten  sich  Beide  so  herzlich  lieb, 
Spitzbiibin  war  sie,  er  war  ein  Dieb. 
It  is  well  worth  while  to  compare  this  with  the  opening  lines  of  Meredith's 
"  See-Saw :" 

She  was  a  harlot  and  I  was  a  thief; 
But  we  loved  each  other  beyond  belief. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  897 

His  lordship  did  not  always  go  unpunished.  In  a  volume  published  anony- 
mously a  dozen  years  ago,  entitled  "The  Heptalogia  ;  or,  The  Seven  against 
Sense,"  there  is  a  parody  of  Owen  Meredith  which  is  also  a  fierce  and  bitter 
attack  on  his  personal  character  as  well  as  on  his  literary  methods.  The 
authorship  of  the  book  has  never  been  acknowledged  to  this  day  ;  yet  it  has 
never  been  doubted.  Aiit  Swinburne,  aut  dia/iolus, — that  was  the  universal 
verdict.  The  poem,  which  is  called  *'  Last  Words  of  a  Seventh-rate  Poet," 
is  too  long  to  quote  entire,  but  a  few  lines  will  give  some  idea  of  the  wit  and 
wickedness  of  the  onslaught.  The  seventh-rate  poet,  stretched  on  his  death- 
bed, is  speaking  to  a  faithful  attendant,  whom  he  calls  Bill : 

There's  a  deity  shapes  us  our  ends,  sir,  rough-hew  them,  my  boy,  how  we  will, — 

As  I  stated  myself  in  a  poem  I  pubhshed  last  year,  you  know,  Bill, — 

Where  I  mentioned  that  that  was  the  question, — to  be,  or,  by  Jove,  not  to  be. 

Ah,  it's  something — you'll  think  so  hereafter — to  wait  on  a  poet  like  me. 

Had  I  written  no  more  than  those  verses  on  that  Countess  I  used  to  call  Pussy, — 

Yes,  Minette  or  Manon,— and— you'll  hardly  believe  it— she  said  they  were  all  out  of  Musset. 

Now  I  don't  say  they  weren't,— but  what  then?   and  I  don't  say  they  were,— I'll  bet  pounds 

against  pennies  on 
The  subject, — I  wish  I  may  never  die  Laureate,  if  some  of  them  weren't  out  of  Tennyson. 
And  I  think — I  don't  like  to  be  certain,  with  death,  so  to  speak,  by  me  frowning — 
But  I  think  there  were  some — say  a  dozen,  perhaps,  or  a  score — out  of  Browning. 
As  for  poets  who  go  on  a  contrary  track  to  what  I  go  and  you  go, — 
You  remember  my  lyrics  translated — like  sweet  Bully  Bottom — from  Hugo  ? 

Though  I  will  say  it's  curious  that  simply  on  just  that  account  there  should  be 

Men  so  bold  as  to  say  that  not  one  of  my  poems  was  written  by  me. 

It  would  stir  the  political  bile  or  the  physical  spleen  of  a  drab  or  a  Tory 

To  hear  critics  assign  to  his  hand  the  Confessional,  Bill,  and  the  Laboratory  ; 

Yes,  it's  singular, — nay,  I  can't  think  of  a  parallel  (ain't  it  a  high  lark? 

As  that  Countess  would  say), — there  are  few  men  believe  it  was  I  wrote  the  Ode  to  a  Skylark 

And  it  often  has  given  myself  and  Lord  Albert  no  end  of  diversion 

To  hear  fellows  maintain  to  my  face  it  was  Wordsworth  who  wrote  The  Excursion, 

When  they  know  that  whole  reams  of  the  verses  recur  in  my  authorized  works 

Here  and  there,  up  and  down !     Why,  such  readers  are  infidels,  heretics,  Turks  1 

And  the  pitiful  critics  who  think  in  their  paltry  presumption  to  pay  me  a 

Pretty  compliment,  pairing  me  off,  sir,  with  Keats,— as  if  he  could  write  Lamia ! 

While  I  never  produced  a  more  characteristic  and  exquisite  book. 

One  that  gave  me  more  real  satisfaction,  than  did,  on  the  whole,  Lalla  Rookh. 

«  *  ********  ** 

Nay,  that  epic  of  mine,  which  begins  from  foundations  the  Bible  is  built  on, 
"  Of  man's  first  disobedience" — I've  heard  it  attributed,  dammy,  to  Milton. 
Well,  it's  lucky  for  them  that  it's  not  worth  my  while,  as  I  may  say,  to  break  spears 
With  the  hirelings,  forsooth,  of  the  press  who  assert  that  Othello  was  Shakespeare's, 

When  he  that  can  run,  sir,  may  read— if  he  borrows  the  book  or  goes  on  tick- 
In  my  poems  the  bit  that  describes  how  the  Hellespont  joins  the  Propontic. 
There  are  men,  I  believe,  who  will  tell  you  that  Gray  wrote  the  whole  of  The  Bard, 
Or  that  I  didn't  write  half  the  Elegy,  Bill,  in  a  Country  Church-Yard, 
When  you  know  that  my  poem.  The  Poet,  begins,  "  Ruin  seize  thee !"  and  ends 
With  recapitulations  of  horrors  the  poet  invokes  on  his  friends. 

And  I'll  swear,  if  you  look  at  the  dirge  on  my  relatives  under  the  turf,  you 
Will  perceive  it  winds  up  with  some  lines  on  myself— and  begins  with  the  Curfew. 
Now  you'll  grant  it's  more  probable,  Bill,— as  a  man  of  the  world,  if  you  please, — 
That  all  these  should  have  prigged  from  myself  than  that  I  should  have  prigged  from  all 
these. 

A  little  farther  are  the  following  lines  : 
As  it's  sometimes  my  whim  to  be  vulgar,  it's  sometimes  my  whim  to  be  brief; 
As  when  once  I  observed,  after  Heine,  that  "  She  was  a  harlot  and  I  (which  is  true)  was  a 
thief." 

On  the  whole,  Lord  Lytton  went  too  far.  That  would  be  the  verdict  even 
of  the  most  lenient  minds.  Plagiarism  is  not  always  a  virtue.  For  examplej 
one  can  have  no  words  of  praise  for  the  French  gentleman  who  published  a 


898  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

little  volume  called  "  Le  Caniche  Noir."  Mr.  F.  Anstey  happened  across  it 
in  a  Parisian  book-store,  and,  opening  it,  found  it  to  be  his  own  "  Black 
Poodle"  wagging  a  friendly  tail.  The  scene  was  changed  from  England  to 
France  ;  the  poodle's  master  was  now  an  Italian,  not  a  Frenchman.  There 
were  other  variations  on  the  theme,  but  the  poodle  was  Mr.  Anstey's  old 
poodle  ;  his  adventure  was  the  same.  Mr.  Anstey  then  wrote  a  letter  in 
French  to  the  French  author,  signing  not  with  his  "  pen-name,"  but  with  his 
patronymic.  He  congratulated  M.  X.  on  his  "  originalite  vraiment  extraor- 
dinaire." He  asked  permission  to  render  "  Le  Caniche  Noir"  into  English, 
assuring  him  that  he  felt  capable  of  making  the  translation  in  a  sympathetic 
manner.  The  French  author  answered,  in  English,  and  with  modesty,  that 
he  did  not  think  his  book  deserved  the  praises  liberally  heaped  on  it  by  Mr. 
Anstey.  "  About  your  demand  for  adaptation,  I  am  sorry  to  tell  you  that  I 
am  my  own  translator,  and  that  the  'Caniche  Noir'  exists  in  English  already." 
In  fact,  it  may  be  laid  down  as  an  axiom  that  plagiarism  is  always  a  crime 
unless  the  author  either  betters  what  he  takes  or  restores  to  the  world  a  gem 
that  had  been  forgotten.     He  must  not  do  as  the  gypsies  are  said  to  do, — 

Like  gypsies,  lest  the  stolen  brat  be  known. 
Defacing  first,  then  claiming  for  his  own. 

Churchill  :   The  Apology,  1.  232. 

His  oflfence  can  only  be  palliated  if  he  does  as  Sheridan  did  with  this  very 
couplet : 

Steal  !  to  be  sure  they  may ;  and,  egad,  serve  your  best  thoughts  as  gypsies  do  stolen  chil- 
dren,— disfigure  them  to  make  'em  pass  for  their  own.— 7y«?  Critic,  Act  i.,  Sc.  i. 

It  becomes  graver  if  he  amplifies  without  improving,  as  Leigh  Hunt  did  with 
the  same  : 

Milton  borrowed  other  poets'  thoughts,  but  he  did  not  borrow  as  gypsies  borrow  children, 
spoiling  their  features  that  they  may  not  be  recognized.  No,  he  returned  them  improved. 
Had  he  "  borrowed"  your  coat,  he  would  have  restored  it  with  a  new  nap  upon  it. — In- 
dicator. 

Yet  even  for  the  most  unpardonable  offence  one  would  not  act  as  they  do 
in  Afghanistan.  According  to  recent  reports  from  that  country,  a  certain 
Mirza  Ahmed  was  brought  before  the  Emir,  charged  with  misappropriation 
of  public  funds.  In  the  course  of  the  trial  it  was  discovered  that  the  defend- 
ant had  been  guilty  of  writing  poetry  which  did  not  possess  the  virtue  of 
originality.  That  fact  enraged  the  Emir.  "The  accusation  of  purloining 
public  money,"  declared  his  Majesty,  in  the  decision,  "  has  not  been  proved. 
For  that  I  cannot  punish  you.  But  I  cannot  e.xcuse  the  theft  of  the  ideas  of 
Saadi  and  Hafiz,  the  old  poets.  As  a  penalty  I  order  your  tongue  pierced 
by  long,  thick  needles."  The  poor  writer  was  subjected  to  the  torture,  and 
the  Emir  has  little  fear  that  Mirza  will  again  attempt  to  force  his  hexameters 
upon  an  "indulgent"  monarch. 

Is  this  very  story  a  plagiarism  or  a  coincidence  ?  Certainly  it  bears  a  suspi- 
cious analogy  to  the  anecdote  of  Bacon  and  Sir  John  Hayward.  The  latter 
had  been  imprisoned  by  Queen  Elizabeth  on  the  charge  of  treasonable  utter- 
ances contained  in  his  "  Life  and  Reign  of  Henry  IV."  But  Bacon,  being 
applied  to  for  his  opinion,  reported  that  "  for  treason  he  found  none,  but  for 
felony  he  found  many,"  which  he  explained  by  saying  that  the  author  had 
stolen  many  sentences  from  Tacitus  and  translated  them  into  English. 

To  give  a  detailed  account  of  all  the  flagrant  plagiarisms  that  have  been 
traced  and  exposed  would  in  itself  fill  a  volume.  There  is  Sterne  stealing 
all  the  best  passages  in  his  "Tristram  Shandy"  from  older  authors,  and  then 
denouncing  plagiarism  in  words  stolen  from  Burton  ;  Benjamin  Franklin  lay- 
ing claim  to  the  translation  of  "  De  Senectute,"  done  by  Logan,  copying  his 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  899 

counsels  against  intemperance  out  of  the  works  of  Jeremy  Taylor,  and  trans- 
lating at  second  hand  his  fable  against  persecution  from  the  Hackacet  in  the 
"  Bostan  ;"  Moliere  producing  his  "  Precieuses  Ridicules"  two  years  after  it  had 
been  acted  in  substance  by  the  Italian  comedians  ;  M.  Langles,  the  Orientalist, 
stealing  his  "  Voyage  d'Abdoul  Rizzac"  from  Galland's  "  Arabian  Nights  ;"  Le- 
febre  deViliebrune,  in  his  translation  of  Athenseus,  copying  six  thousand  two 
hundred  notes  from  Casaubon's  critical  works  ;  Ue  Saint-Ange,  in  his  transla- 
tion of  Ovid's  "  Metamorphoses,"  borrowing  about  fifteen  hundred  verses  from 
Thomas  Corneille,  and  a  still  greater  number  from  Malfillatre  ;  Jacques  Delille, 
in  his  translation  of  Virgil,  his  poem  of"  LTmagination,"  and  other  works,  ap- 
propriating a  great  number  of  lines  from  other  poets  ;  Malte-Brun,  in  his  famous 
work  on  geography,  literally  adopting  the  remarks  of  Gosselin,  Lacroix,  Walc- 
kenaer,  Pinkerton,  Puissant',  etc.  ;  Aignan,  in  his  translation  of  the  "  Iliad,"  bor- 
rowing twelve  hundred  verses  from  a  previous  translation  by  Rochefort ;  Castil 
Blaze  transferring  to  his  "Dictionary  of  Modern  Music"  three  hundred  and 
forty  notices  from  Rousseau's  work  on  the  same  subject,  and  all  the  while 
abusing  the  latter  for  his  ignorance  of  the  principles  of  the  art;  Henri  Beyle, 
under  the  assumed  name  of  Bombet,  publishing  his  well-known  letters  on 
Haydn  and  Italian  music,  and  leaving  the  public  unacquainted  with  the  fact 
that  he  had  merely  translated  them  from  the  Italian  of  Joseph  Carpani  ;  and 
the  Count  de  Courchamps  palming  on  the  world  as  the  "  Memoires  Inedits  de 
Cagliostro"  a  series  of  tales,which  turned  out,  after  all,  to  be  but  a  literal  tran- 
script of  a  romance  published  some  twenty  years  before  by  John  Potocki,  a 
Polish  count.  Pierre  Breslay  published  in  1574  "L'Anthologie,  ou  Recueil  de 
plusieurs  discours  notables  ;"  next  year  ("  C'etait  un  peu  prompt,"  naively  adds 
one  of  M.  Querard's  supplementers)  Jean  des  Caures  followed  him  word  for 
word  in  his  "  Qiuvres  Morales,"  levying  like  contributions  on  Grevin,  Coras, 
and  other  authors  of  the  day.  Zschokke's  "  Warlike  Adventures  of  a  Peaceful 
Man,"  translated  into  French  in  three  volumes  in  1813,  appeared  without  ac- 
knowledgment of  source  in  the  Revue  de  Pans  \n  1847.  Paul  Ferry  had  not  long 
printed  "  Isabelle"  in  his  first  jjoetical  works  before  De  la  Croix  transferred  it 
to  his  "Climene."  On  the  misdoings  of  Moore,  Pope,  Mason,  Gray,  and  sev- 
eral others,  entire  books  or  lengthy  papers  have  been  written.  Of  a  sometime 
Lord  William  Pitt  Lennox,  Punch  sagaciously  divined  that  his  favorite  authors 
were  Steele  and  Borrow.  Rogers's  "  Human  Life"  is  more  than  based  on 
Gay's  "  Birth  of  the  Squire,"  a  piece  confessedly  in  imitation  of  the  "  Pollio" 
of  Virgil.  Longfellow  has  so  accurately  translated  the  Anglo-Saxon  metrical 
fragment  "The  Grave"  that  his  version  agrees  almost  verbally  with  the  Rev. 
J.  J.  Conybeare's.  More  recently  Mr.  Thomas  Hardy  appropriated  an  entire 
chapter  from  "Georgia  Scenes,"  by  an  almost  forgotten  American  humorist, 
and  with  the  few  necessary  verbal  changes  inlaid  it  in  his  "Trumpet-Major." 
All  these  examples,  a  handful  picked  out  at  random,  go  far  to  justify  Horace 
Smith's  definition  of  originality  as  "  undiscovered  or  unconscious  imitation." 
"  Ah,  how  often,"  this  is  how  in  "  Philobiblon"  the  books  address  the  clergy, 
"do  you  pretend  that  we,  who  are  old,  are  but  just  born,  and  attempt  to  call 
us  sons  who  are  fathers,  and  to  call  that  which  brought  you  into  clerical  exist- 
ence the  fabric  of  your  own  studies?  In  truth,  we  who  now  pretend  to  be 
Romans  are  evidently  sprung  from  the  Athenians  ;  for  Carmentis  was  ever  a 
pillager  of  Cadmus  ;  and  we  who  are  just  born  in  England  shall  be  born  again 
to-morrow  in  Paris,  and,  being  thence  carried  on  to  Bononia,  shall  be  allotted 
an  Italian  origin  unsupported  by  any  consanguinity." 

Ou  the  whole,  as  between  the  plagiarist  and  his  accuser,  we  prefer  the 
plagiarist.  We  have  more  sympathy  for  the  man  in  the  pillory  than  for  the 
rabble  that  pelt  him.  And  especially  we  have  naught  but  loathing  for  those 
literary  detectives  who  are  continually  hunting  on  the  track  of  every  popular 


900  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

writer  and  crying  "  Stop  thief!"  at  every  accidental  coincidence.  We  rejoice 
in  the  bitter  words  which  Tennyson  used  in  his  letter  to  Mr.  Dawson,  author 
of  "A  Study  on  The  Princess."  "There  is,  I  fear,"  said  the  Laureate,  "a 
prosaic  set  growing  up  among  us,  editors  of  booklets,  bookworms,  index- 
hunters,  or  men  of  great  memories  and  no  imagination,  who  impute  them- 
selves to  the  poet,  and  so  believe  that  he,  too,  has  no  imagination,  but  is 
forever  poking  his  nose  between  the  pages  of  some  old  volumes  in  order 
to  see  what  he  can  appropriate."  This  is  the  class  of  critics  who  accuse 
Tennyson  of  plagiarism  because  in  his  lyric  "  Home  they  brought  her 
Warrior  dead"  the  newly-made  widow,  sitting  in  stony  and  unmoved  silence 
before  her  husband's  corpse,  bursts  at  last  into  refreshing  tears  at  the  sight 
of  her  child,  an  incident  which  occurs  also  in  "  Marmion."  Coincidence  need 
not  be  conscious  borrowing. 

Yet  we  fear  the  literary  detective  will  not  die.  For  some  inscrutable  reason 
he  seems  to  be  one  of  Nature's  favorites.  In  the  struggle  for  existence, 
which  we  are  taught  is  constantly  eliminating  the  weakest  and  leaving  ampler 
room  for  the  strongest  and  the  fittest,  the  literary  detective  emerges  buoyant, 
smiling,  self-satisfied, — immortal  in  his  folly  and  his  impudence.  He  may 
live  to  be  the  famous  Last  Man,  he  may  cry  "  Chestnuts,"  or  its  equivalent, 
when  the  angel  Gabriel  sounds  the  last  trump,  he  may  detect  "coincidences" 
in  the  judgment  that  consigns  him  among  the  accursed. 

Plain  living  and  high  thinking  are  no  more,  a  line  in  Sonnet  XHI.  of 
"Poems  dedicated  to  National  Independence  and  Liberty,"  written  by  Words- 
worth, in  September,  iSo2,  as  a  protest  against  the  "terrible  luxury"  of  the 
London  rich.  Something  similar  to  the  ideal  thus  negatively  presented  is 
found  in  the  Greek  line 

na;(era  yatrTrjp  Xeirrby  ov  Ti'icTet  vdoi' 
("  A  heavy  paunch  bears  not  a  subtle  mind"), 
which  St.  Chrysostom  vaguely  attributes  to  a  heathen  writer.     Horace,  in  his 
"  Satires"  (II.,  ii.,  76),  has 

Vides  ut  pallidus  omnis 
Coena  desurgat  dubia  ?  quin  corpus  onustum 
Hesternis  vitiis  animum  quoque  prsegravat  una, 

and  Cicero,  in  his  "Tusculan  Disputations,"  v.  100,  "Quid,  quod  ne  mente 
quidem  recte  uti  possumus,  multo  cibo  et  potione  completi .'" 

Dean  (afterwards  Bishop)  Graves,  who  was  resident  clergyman  at  Winder- 
mere from  1835  to  1864,  and  often  met  Wordsworth,  in  his  "  Recollections  of 
Wordsworth  and  the  Lake  Country"  ^Dublin  Lectures  on  Literature  and  Art, 
1869,  p.  295),  after  describing  the  cottage  which  the  poet  in  his  early  days 
rented  for  eight  pounds  a  year,  goes  on  to  say,  "  In  that  cottage  he  spent  what 
I  think  may  be  called  the  heroic  period  of  his  life.  There  he  realized  his 
noble  motto  of  'plain  living  and  high  thinking;'  even  a  guest  beneath  his 
roof  saw  no  beverage  on  his  dinner-table  but  pure  water  ;  and  Walter  Scott 
confesses  that  when  sojourning  with  him  he  made  daily  a  surreptitious  walk 
to  '  the  public,'  a  mile  off,  to  get  a  draught  of  beer.  There  ...  he  worked 
on  silently  and  magnanimously  ;  and  while  receiving  no  pecuniary  reward 
for  his  labor,  he  silently  endured  a  persecution  of  critical  obloquy  equally 
unrelenting  and  unjust." 

Platform,  in  American  politics,  a  declaration  of  party  principles.  The 
phrase  has  been  imported  into  England.  But  though  it  comes  as  an  importa- 
tion it  is  really  a  revival  of  a  use  of  the  word  that  was  common  in  the  six- 
teenth and  seventeenth  centuries  both  as  a  verb  and  as  a  noun.  Thus,  Milton, 
in  his  "  Reason  of  Church  Government,"  says  that  some  "  do  not  think  it  for 
the  ease  of  their  inconsequent  opinions  to  grant  that  church  discipline  is 


i 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  ^o\ 

platformed  in  the  Bible,  but  that  it  is  left  to  the  discretion  of  men."  In  Lyly's 
"Alexander  and  Campaspe,"  Act  v.,  Sc.  4,  Apelles  is  asked,  "  What  piece  of 
work  have  you  now  in  hand?"  to  which  he  replies,  "None  in  hand,  if  it  like 
your  Majestie,  but  I  am  devising  a  platforme  in  my  head."  And  in  the  "  Dis- 
covery of  the  New  World,"  quoted  by  Nares,  "To  procure  himself  a  pardon 
went  and  discovered  the  whole  platforme  of  the  conspiracie."  A  very  early 
example  occurs  in  the  following  title  of  a  tract  in  the  library  of  Queen's 
College,  Cambridge  :  "A  Survey  of  the  pretended  Holy  Discipline,  faithfully 
gathered  by  way  of  Historical  Narration  out  of  the  Works  and  Writings  of 
the  principal  Favourers  of  that  Platforme,  4to,  London,  1593." 

The  subdivisions  of  a  platform  are  called  its  planks,  and  the  metaphor  is 
sometimes  even  run  to  death  by  giving  the  name  of  splinters  to  the  sub- 
divisions of  "  planks." 

Plato's  man.  "Plato  having  defined  man  to  be  'a  two-legged  animal 
without  feathers,'  Diogenes  plucked  a  cock  and  brought  it  into  the  Academy, 
and  said,  '  This  is  Plato's  man.'  On  which  account  this  addition  was  made  to 
the  definition:  'with  broad,  flat  nails.'"  But  even  with  the  addendum  the 
definition  cannot  be  considered  a  happy  one.  Franklin  called  man  a  "  tool- 
making  animal." 

And  all  to  leave  what  with  his  toil  he  won 
To  that  unfeathered,  two-legged  thing,  a  son. 

Dryden  :  Absalom  and  Achitophel,\.  169. 

Play.  American  slang  has  developed  many  new  uses  of  this  phrase,  all 
of  which  may  doubtless  be  traced  back  to  "  Hamlet :"  "  Why,  look  you,  now, 
how  unworthy  a  thing  you  make  of  me  !  You  would  play  upon  me ;  you 
would  seem  to  know  my  stops  :  you  would  pluck  out  the  heart  of  my  mystery, 
.  .  .  'Sblood,  do  you  think  I  am  easier  to  be  played  on  than  a  pipe  V  (Act  iii., 
Sc.  2.)  "  You  can't  play  that  upon  me," — i.e.,  "  I  am  not  to  be  fooled  or  tricked 
in  that  way,"  is  evidently  a  direct  descendant  of  Hamlet's  phrase.  Then 
comes  the  affirmative,  to  indicate  that  a  man  is  weak  or  foolish  enough  to  be 
played  upon  : 

It  was  April  the  f.rst, 

And  quite  soft  was  the  skies. 
Which  it  might  be  inferred 

That  Ah  Sin  was  Hkewise, 
But  he  played  it  that  day  upon  William 
And  me  in  a  way  I  despise. 

Bket  Harte  :  Plain  Language  front  Truthful  James. 

I  ain't  over-particular,  but  this  I  do  say,  that  interducin'  a  feller  to  yer  sister,  and  availin' 
himself  of  the  opportunity  while  you're  a-kissin'  her  to  stack  the  cards,  is  a-playin'  it  mighty 
low  down. —  Texas  Sif tings. 

Pleasures,  Life  would  be  tolerable  were  it  not  for  its,  a  phrase 
attributed  to  Sir  George  Cornewall  Lewis,  and  intelligible  enough  in  a  member 
of  that  race  of  which  Froissart  long  ago  remarked,  "  They  take  their  pleasures 
sadly,  after  their  fashion."  Talleyrand  said  something  not  altogether  unlike 
this,  but  the  application  was  to  turn  into  ridicule  the  sombreness  of  the 
Genevans.  "Is  not  Geneva  dull?"  asked  a  friend.  "Especially  when  they 
amuse  themselves,"  was  Talleyrand's  reply.  George  Eliot  also  says  in  "  Felix 
Holt,"  "One  way  of  getting  an  idea  of  our  fellow-countrymen's  miseries  is 
to  go  and  look  at  their  pleasures." 

Plon-Plon,  a  name  given  to  the  son  of  Jerome  Bonaparte  by  his  second 
wife,  the  Princess  Frederica  Catherine  of  WUrtemberg,  the  Prince  Napo- 
leon Joseph  Charles  Bonaparte.  It  is  said  to  be  a  euphonism  for  "Craint- 
plomb"  ("  Fear-bullet"),  a  name  which  he  got  for  his  poltroonery  in  the  Cri- 
mean war. 

76 


902  IIANDY-BOOK  OF 

Pluck.  This  word  affords  an  instance  of  the  way  in  which  slang  words  in 
the  course  of  time  become  adopted  into  current  English.  We  now  meet  with 
"  pluck"  and  "  plucky"  as  the  recognized  equivalents  of  "  courage"  and  "  coura- 
geous." An  entry  in  Sir  Walter  Scott's  "Journal"  shows  that  in  1827  the 
word  had  not  yet  lost  its  low  character.  He  says  (vol.  ii.  p.  30),  "want  of 
that  article  blackguardly  called  pluck."  Its  origin  is  obvious.  From  early 
times  the  heart  has  been  popularly  regarded  as  the  seat  of  courage.  Now, 
when  a  butcher  lays  open  a  carcass  he  divides  the  great  vessels  of  the  heart, 
cuts  through  the  windpipe,  and  then  plucks  out  together  the  united  heart  and 
lungs, — lights  he  calls  them, — and  he  terms  the  united  mass  "  the  pluck." 

Pluck,  To,  in  English  university  slang,  to  reject  a  candidate  for  gradua- 
tion. The  phrase  arose  at  Oxford.  It  might  seem  that  the  passive  form  "to 
be  plucked"  had  some  reference  to  a  bird  despoiled  of  its  feathers.  This  ety- 
mology has,  indeed,  been  urged.  But  Cuthbert  Bede  explains  that  "  when 
the  degrees  are  conferred  the  name  of  each  person  is  read  out  before  he  is 
presented  to  the  vice-chancellor.  The  proctor  then  walks  once  up  and  down 
the  room,  so  that  any  person  who  objects  to  the  degree  being  granted  may 
signify  the  same  by  pulling  or  plucking  the  proctor's  robes." 

Plug-Uglies,  the  name  self-assumed  by  a  gang  of  thugs  or  rowdies  in  Bal- 
timore,  who  terrorized  the  streets  for  a  period.  Its  peculiar  felicity  caused 
the  name  to  survive  when  the  similar  associations  of  Ashlanders,  Dead  Rab- 
bits, Blood-Tubs,  etc.,  vanished  into  obscurity,  and  the  term  is  now  a  generic 
one  for  a  tough. 

Blood-Tubs  and  Plug-Uglies,  and  others  galore. 
Are  sick  for  a  thrashing  in  sweet  Baltimore  ; 
Be  jabers  !  that  same  I'd  be  proud  to  inform 
Of  the  terrible  force  of  an  Irishman's  arm. 

Song  0/  the  Irish  Legion. 

Plum,  an  English  colloquialism  for  one  hundred  thousand  pounds,  or  more 
generally  for  any  large  sum.  Is  it  only  a  curious  coincidence  that  in  Spanish 
pluma  and  in  Italian  penna,  both  meaning  properly  feather,  have  the  slang 
signification  of  money  ?  The  London  Standard  thinks  not,  but  holds  that  the 
English  expression  comes  direct  from  the  Spanish,  "  the  idea  being  that  a 
man  who  had  accumulated  this  sum  had  feathered  his  nest." 

Who  in  this  life  gets  the  smiles,  and  the  acts  of  friendship,  and  the  pleasing  legacies?  The 
rich.  And  I  do,  fur  my  part,  heartily  wish  that  some  one  would  leave  me  a  trifle, — say  twenty 
thousand  pounds, — being  perfectly  confident  that  some  one  else  would  leave  me  more,  and  I 
should  sink  into  my  grave  worth  a  plum  at  least. — Thackeray  ;  A  Shabby-Genteel  Story. 

Plumed  Knight,  a  sobriquet  of  James  G.  Blaine,  first  applied  to  him  by 
Colonel  Robert  G.  Ingersoll  in  the  speech  nominating  Mr.  Blaine  as  the  can- 
didate for  President  at  the  Republican  convention  of  1876:  "Like  an  armed 
warrior,  like  a  plumed  knight,  James  G.  Blaine  marched  down  the  halls  of 
the  American  Congress  and  threw  his  shining  lance  full  and  fair  against  the 
brazen  forehead  of  every  defamer  of  this  country  and  maligner  of  its  honor." 
But  the  phrase  was  not  original.  Nor  was  Ingersoll  the  first  to  apply  it  to  a 
Presidential  candidate.  In  the  Works  of  William  H.  Seward,  vol.  iv.  p. 
682,  there  is  a  quotation  from  John  A.  Andrew's  speech  at  the  Chicago  con- 
vention in  i860,  in  nominating  Lincoln,  in  which  he  said  of  Seward  that  "in 
the  thickest  and  the  hottest  of  every  battle  there  would  be  the  white  plume 
of  the  gallant  leader  of  New  York." 

Poeta  nascitur,  non  fit  (L.,  "  A  poet  is  born,  not  made").  The  proverb 
as  it  stands  cannot  be  traced  to  any  author,  but  similar  expressions  may  be 
found  in  Pindar,  Cicero,  Quintilian,  and  other  classic  writers.    Its  first  appear- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  903 

ance  as  a  proverb  is  probably  in  Ccelius  Rhodiginus  (a.d.  1450-1525),  "  Lec- 
tiones  Antiquae,"  vii.  The  heading  of  chapter  iv.  is,  "  An  poeta  nascitur, 
orator  fiat,"  etc.,  and  in  the  course  of  this  chapter  occurs,  "Vulgo  certe 
jactatur,  nasci  poetam,  oratorem  fieri."  Jonson,  however,  in  his  lines  "To 
the  Memory  of  Shakespear,"  says, — 

For  a  good  poet's  made  as  well  as  born. 

A  well-known  poet  and  scholar  to  whom  we  referred  this  question  answers,  "  I  doubt  if 
any  one  can  discover  who  first  uttered  this  maxim  in  its  now  established  form.  It  seems  to 
have  'growed,'  like  Topsy,  but  possibly  has  its  origin  in  certain  verses  of  that  somewhat 
phantasmal  Latin  writer,  Florus.  At  all  events.  Sir  Philip  Sidney,  in  his  '  Apologie  for 
Poetrie,'  has  these  words:  'And  therefore  is  an  old  proverb.  Orator  fit,  pacta  nascitur.' 
Grocctt's  book  of  quotations,  I  do  not  know  on  what  authority,  refers  to  Sidney  as  saying 
that  this  proverb  was  '  supposed  to  be  from  Floras.'  Thomas  Fuller,  in  his  '  History  of  the 
Worthies  of  England,'  mentions  Shakspeare  as  an  eminent  instance  of  the  truth  of  the  saying, 
Poeta  non  fit,  sed  nascitur.  As  to  Florus,  I  had  supposed  the  reference  was  either  to  the 
orator  and  writer,  Julius  Florus,  the  friend  of  Horace,  or  to  Julius  Florus  the  Second,  whom 
Quintilian  praised.  But  Dr.  Sachs,  of  this  city,  than  whom  there  are  few  more  learned  clas- 
sical and  Oriental  scholars,  gives  me  the  following  information  :  '  I  have  looked  industriously 
for  Poeta  nascitur,  no.ifit,  among  the  classical  Latin  writers,  but  fail  to  find  the  maxim  in 
that  shape,  as  in  fact  I  surmised  when  we  spoke  of  it.  The  quotation  from  Florus  (Lucius 
Annius)  does  not  contain  these  words  exactly.  His  couplet  reads  as  follows  {Antkologia 
Latina,  ed.  Riese,  No.  252)  : 

Consules  fiunt  quotannis  et  novi  proconsules : 
Solus  aut  rex  aut  poeta  non  quotannis  nascitur. 

On  the  question  whether  this  Florus  is  identical  with  the  historian  who  made  the  epitome  of 
Livy's  History,  the  critics  are  about  equally  divided.'  " — i-^eix,  York  Critic. 

Poetic  prose.  It  is  a  failing  with  sonr.e  critics  who  do  not  clearly 
understand  the  line  of  demarcation  between  prose  and  verse  to  fall  into  un- 
seemly raptures  when  they  find  that  certain  passages  in  their  favorite  authors 
can  be  written  and  scanned  as  verse.  Now,  prose  is  one  thing  and  verse  is 
another.  There  is  such  a  thing  as  poetic  prose,  there  is  also  such  a  thing  as 
prosaic  verse.  But  the  former  should  have  a  rhythm  and  music  of  its  own 
entirely  different  from  the  rhythm  and  music  of  verse.  The  latter,  which  can 
never  have  any  excuse  for  being,  may  yet  be  found  to  answer  to  all  the  tech- 
nical requirements  of  the  prosodist,  may  scan  responsive  to  his  rule  of 
thumb,  yet  through  some  poverty  of  word  or  thought  may  fail  entirely  to 
reach  the  level  of  poetry.  Our  two  mightiest  masters  of  harmony  both  in 
prose  and  verse,  Shakespeare  and  Milton,  knew  this  secret  and  taught  it  by 
example.  There  is  no  more  magnificent  poetry  in  English  literature  than 
the  prose  portions  of  "  Hamlet,"  or  various  passages  in  the  "  Areo])agitica"  and 
the  "  Tractate  of  Education."  Yet  no  artificial  rearrangement,  no  breaking  up 
into  measured  lines,  could  possibly  convert  this  poetry  into  verse.  Therein 
lies  its  very  perfection.  On  the  other  hand,  inferior  rhetoricians  like  Dickens, 
who  are  never  less  eloquent  than  when  they  seek  to  be  very  eloquent,  and 
generally  all  that  class  of  writers  who  indulge  in  what  is  known  as  "  word- 
painting,"  fall  into  a  sort  of  sing-song  that  imitates  the  metrical  structure  of 
verse  and  loses  the  spirit  of  poetry.  We  have  cited  Dickens.  A  flagrant 
example  is  afforded  in  his  chapter  on  the  death  of  Little  Nell  in  "The  Old 
Curiosity  Shop."  Home  in  his  "  New  Spirit  of  the  Age"  was  the  first  to 
point  this  out,  and  he  does  it  in  a  laudatory  manner. 

"A  curious  circumstance,"  he  says,  "is  observable  in  a  great  portion  of 
the  scenes  of  tragic  power,  pathos,  and  tenderness  contained  in  various  parts 
of  Mr.  Dickens's  works,  which  it  is  possible  may  have  been  the  result  of 
harmonious  accident,  and  the  author  not  even  subsequently  conscious  of  it. 
It  is  that  they  are  written  in  blank  verse,  of  irregular  metre  and  rhythms, 
which  Southey,  and  Shelley,  and  some  other  poets,  have  occasionally  adopted." 
And  he  thus  rearranges  the  passage  in  "  The  Old  Curiosity  Shop :" 


904  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

And  now  the  bell— the  bell 
She  had  so  often  heard  by  night  and  day 
And  listened  to  with  solid  pleasure. 

E'en  as  a  living  voice — 
Rung  its  remorseless  toll  for  her, 
So  young,  so  beautiful,  so  good. 

Decrepit  age,  and  vigorous  life. 
And  blooming  youth,  and  helpless  in'ancy. 
Poured  forth — on  crutches,  in  the  pride  of  strength 

And  health,  in  the  full  blush 
Of  promise— the  mere  dawn  of  life — 
To  gather  round  her  tomb.     Old  men  were  there 
Whose  eyes  were  dim 
And  senses  failing — 
Granddames,  who  might  have  died  ten  years  ago, 
And  still  been  old — the  deaf,  the  blind,  the  lame. 

The  palsied. 
The  living  dead  in  many  shapes  and  f  rms, 
To  see  ihe  closing  of  this  early  grave  ! 

What  was  the  death  it  would  shut  in. 
To  that  which  still  would  crawl  and  creep  above  it ! 

Along  the  crowded  paih  they  bore  her  now  ; 

Pale  as  the  new-fallen  snow 
That  covered  it :  whose  day  on  earth 

Had  been  so  fleeting. 
Under  that  porch  where  she  had  sat  when  Heaven 
In  mercy  brought  her  to  that  peaceful  spot. 

She  passed  again,  and  the  old  church 

Received  her  in  its  quiet  shade. 

"  Throughout  the  whole  of  the  above,"  continues  Mr.  Home,  enthusiasti- 
cally, "only  two  unimportant  words  have  been  omitted, — in  and  its  ;  'grand- 
dames' has  been  substituted  for  'grandmothers,'  and  'e'en'  for  'almost.'  All 
that  remains  is  exactly  as  in  the  original,  not  a  single  word  transposed,  and 
the  punctuation  the  same  to  a  comma.  The  brief  homily  that  concludes  the 
funeral  is  profoundly  beautiful : 

Oh  !  it  is  hard  to  take 
The  lesson  that  such  deaths  will  teach. 
But  let  no  man  reject  it, 
For  it  is  one  that  all  must  learn 
And  is  a  mighty  universal  Truth. 
When  Death  strikes  down  the  innocent  and  young. 
For  every  fragile  form  from  which  he  lets 
The  parting  spirit  free, 
A  hundred  virtues  rise. 
In  shapes  of  mercy,  charity,  and  love, 
To  walk  the  world  and  bless  it. 
Of  every  tear 
That  sorrowing  mortals  shed  on  such  green  graves, 
Some  good  is  born,  some  gentler  nature  comes. 

"Not  a  word  of  the  original  is  changed  in  the  above  quotation,  which  is 
worthy  of  the  best  passages  in  Wordsworth,  and  thus,  meeting  on  the 
common  ground  of  a  deeply  truthful  sentiment,  the  two  most  unlike  men  in 
the  literature  of  the  country  are  brought  into  close  proximation." 

He  also  gives  a  similar  passage  from  the  concluding  paragraph  of  "  Nicholas 
Nickleby :" 

The  grass  was  green  above  the  dead  boy's  grave, 
Trodden  by  feet  so  small  and  light, 
That  not  a  daisy  drooped  its  head 

Beneath  their  pressure. 
Through  all  the  spring  and  summer  time 
Garlands  of  fresh  flowers,  wreathed  by  infant  hands, 
Rested  upon  the  stone. 

But  Thackeray  was  a  far  truer  critic  than  Home.     Speaking  of  the  "  Christ- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  905 

mas  Carol,"  he  says,  "  I  am  not  sure  that  the  allegory  is  a  very  complete  one, 
and  protest,  with  the  classics,  against  the  use  of  blank  verse  in  prose  ;  but 
here  all  objections  stop.  Who  can  listen  to  objections  regarding  such  a  book 
as  this  ?" 

Another  authority  has  found  out  that  the  description  of  Niagara  Falls  in 
'*  American  Notes"  may  be  thrown  into  "  true  iambic  lines"  as  follows  : 

I  think  in  every  quiet  season  now. 

Still  do  those  waters  roll,  and  leap,  and  roar. 

And  tumble  all  day  long  ; 
Still  are  the  rainbows  spanning  them 

A  hundred  feet  below. 
Still  when  the  sun  is  on  them,  do  they  shine 

And  glow  like  molten  gold. 
Still  when  the  day  is  gloomy  do  they  fall 

Like  snow,  or  seem  to  crumble  away. 

Like  the  front  of  a  great  chalk  cliff, 
Or  roll  adown  the  rock  like  dense  white  smoke. 

But  always  does  this  mighty  stream  appear 

To  die  as  it  comes  down. 
And  always  from  the  unfathomable  grave 
Arises  that  tremendous  ghost  of  spray 
And  mist  which  is  never  laid  : 

Which  has  haunted  this  place 
With  the  same  dread  solemnity. 

Since  darkness  brooded  on  the  deep 
And  that  first  flood  before  the  Deluge — Light — 

Came  rushing  on  Creation  at  the  word  of  God. 

"American  Notes,"  it  will  be  remembered,  was  the  book  which  Macaulay 
refused  to  review  because  he  could  see  no  good  in  it.  "  I  cannot  praise  it, 
and  I  will  not  cut  it  up.  It  is  written  like  the  worst  parts  of  '  Humphrey's 
Clock.'  What  is  meant  to  be  easy  and  sprightly  is  vulgar  and  flippant,  as  in 
the  first  two  pages.  What  is  meant  to  be  fine  is  a  great  deal  too  fine,  as  the 
description  of  the  Fall  of  Niagara."  But  Macaulay  had  not  seen  that  descrip- 
tion thrown  into  iambic  lines. 

There  are  worse  sinners,  however,  than  Dickens.  He  never  did  anything 
so  outrageous  as  this  from  Disraeli's  "Wondrous  Tale  of  Alroy :" 

Why  am  I  here?  are  you  not  here?  and  need  I  urge  a  stronger  plea?  Oh,  brother  dear,  I 
pray  you  come  and  mingle  in  our  festival  !  Our  walls  are  hung  with  flowers  you  love  ;  I 
culled  them  by  the  fountain's  side  ;  the  holy  lamps  are  trimmed  and  set,  and  you  must  raise 
their  earliest  flame.  Without  the  gate  my  maidens  wait  to  oflfer  you  a  robe  of  state.  Then, 
brother  dear,  I  pray  you  come  and  mingle  in  our  festival. 

Of  course,  it  sometimes  happens,  even  in  the  masters,  that  a  line  may  here 
and  there  be  detached  from  the  context  and  be  made  to  scan.  At  the  same 
time,  when  read  as  prose,  it  may  not  offend  against  the  rhythmic  integrity  of 
the  passage.  But  this  is  mere  accident.  In  a  discussion  of  this  very  subject 
Dr.  Johnson  pointed  out  that  the  accident  might  happen  in  ordinary  con- 
versation : 


When  this  accident  goes  unnoted,  when  to  the  ear  the  line  retains  the 
metre  of  prose  and  melts  into  the  common  music  of  the  whole,  it  has  no  dis- 
cordant effect.  But  the  moment  it  is  pointed  out  it  distinctly  jars  on  the  ear. 
Coleridge  therefore  made  a  mistake  in  dwelling  on  the  hexametrical  rhythm 
of  these  passages  in  Isaiah  : 

Hear,  O  heavens,  and  give  ear,  |  O  earth  :  for  the  Lord  hath  spoken. 

I  have  nourished  and  brought  up  children,  |  and  they  have  rebelled  against  me. 

The  ox  knoweth  his  owner,  |  and  the  ass  his  master's  crib  : 

But  Israel  doth  not  know,  |  ray  people  doth  not  consider. 

And  an  equal  evil  has  been  done  by  other  curio-hunters  who  have  gone  to 
76* 


9o6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

the  pains  of  scanning  the  following  passages,  the  first  three  being  from  the 
Psalms,  the  three  latter  from  the  New  Testament  : 

God  came  |  up  with  a  i  shout :  our  |  Lord  with  the  |  sound  of  a  ]  trumpet. 

There  i5  a  |  river  the  |  flowing  where-  |  of  shall  |  gladden  the  |  citj-. 

Halle  I  lujah  the  |  city  of  I  God !  Je-  |  hovah  hath  |  blest  her. 

Art  thou  he  |  that  should  |  come,  or  |  do  we  |  look  f5r  a-  |  nether? 

HCsbands,  |  love  your  |  wives,  and  |  be  not  |  bitter  a-  |  gainst  them. 

Bless'd  are  the  |  poor  in  |  spirit,  for  |  theirs  Ts  the  |  kingdom  of  ]  heaven. 

The  effect  is  far  more  discordant  when  the  lines  are  made  to  jingle  into 
rhymes.  Thus,  most  people  will  find  that  a  noble  passage  in  Lincoln's  sec- 
ond inaugural  has  been  utterly  ruined  for  them  by  its  resolution  into  this 
hideous  bit  of  doggerel : 

Fervently  do  we  hope. 

Fervently  do  we  pray. 
That  this  mighty  scourge  of  war 

May  speedily  pass  away  : 
Yet  if  it  be  God's  will 
That  it  continue  until — 

Luckil}',  here  the  address  lapses  again  into  the  solemn  sincerity  of  prose. 

Even  Addison's  nice  ear  was  sometimes  at  fault.  A  line  like  this  is  un- 
pardonable : 

What  I  am  going  to  mention,  will  perhaps  deserve  your  attention. 

In  inferior  writers  we  do  not  mind  these  lapses,  and  even  find  a  curious 
interest  in  noting  such  a  quatrain  as  the  following,  which  Dr.  Whewell  in  his 
work  on  "  Mechanics"  had  written  as  prose  : 

There  is  no  force,  however  great. 

Can  stretch  a  cord,  however  fine, 

Into  a  horizontal  line 
Which  is  accurately  straight. 

The  Rev.  Chauncey  Giles,  in  a  lecture  called  "  The  Nature  of  Spirit," 
speaking  of  the  sparrow  in  the  egg,  says,  "  These  organs  foretell  another 
world  of  ineffable  perfections  compared  with  the  one  in  which  it  then  dwelt," 
and  then  follow  in  prose  order  the  lines  which  we  thus  break  up  into  verse  : 

They  prophesy  of  air  and  light. 
Of  joyous  song  and  social  flight, 
Of  worm  and  seed  for  all  its  needs 
And  everj'  prophecy — 
it   should  be  "succeeds,"  but  the  rhyme  and  the  rhythm  are  ruined  by  the 
concluding  words,  "is  fulfilled  to  the  letter." 

As  a  trick  of  humor,  hidden  verses  have  often  been  introduced  into  mock- 
heroic  or  satirical  prose.  In  Washington  Irving's  "  Knickerbocker"  the  fol- 
lowing bit  of  blank  verse  appears  as  prose  : 

The  gallant  warrior  starts  from  soft  repose. 

From  golden  visions  and  voluptuous  ease; 

Where  in  the  dulcet  "  piping  times  of  peace" 

He  sought  sweet  solace  after  all  his  toils. 

No  more  in  beauty's  siren  lap  reclined. 

He  weaves  fair  garlands  for  his  lady's  brows  ; 

No  more  entwines  with  flowers  his  shining  sword. 

Nor  through  the  livelong  summer's  day  chants  forth 

His  love-sick  soul  in  madrigals. 

To  manhood  roused,  he  spurns  the  amorous  flute, 

DofFs  from  his  brawny  back  the  robes  of  peace, 

And  clothes  his  pampered  limbs  in  panoply  of  steel. 

O'er  his  dark  brow  where  late  the  myrtle  waved. 

Where  wanton  roses  breathed  enervate  love. 

He  rears  the  beaming  casque  and  nodding  plume, 

Grasps  the  bright  shield  and  ponderous  lance,  or  mounts 

With  eager  pride  his  fier>'  steed,  and  bums 

For  deeds  of  glorious  chivalry. 


1 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  9° 7 

.Some  critics  have  seen  in  the  above  only  a  specimen  of  unconscious  verse. 
A  still  more  astonishing  want  of  perception  is  shown  by  a  hunter  of  literary 
bric-a-brac,  who  calls  the  Song  of  the  Kettle  in  the  "Cricket  on  the  Hearth" 
"an  unintentional  outburst  on  the  part  of  the  author,"  marvelling  to  find  that 
•'the  lines  not  only  preserve  their  symmetry,  but  also  rhyme  with  each 
other." 

It's  a  dark  night,  sang  the  kettle,  and  the  rotten  leaves  are  lying  by  the  way ; 

And  above,  all  is  mist  and  darkness,  and  below,  all  is  mire  and  clay; 

And  there  is  only  one  relief  in  all  the  sad  and  murky  air. 

And  I  don't  know  that  it  is  one,  for  it's  nothing  but  a  glare 

Of  deep  and  angrj'  crimson,  where  the  sun  and  wind  together 

Set  a  brand  upon  the  clouds  for  being  guilty  of  such  weather; 

And  the  widest  open  country  is  a  long,  dull  streak  of  black ; 

And  there's  hoarfrost  on  the  finger-post,  and  thaw  upon  the  track  ; 

And  the  ice  it  isn't  water,  and  the  water  isn't  free. 

And  you  couldn't  say  that  anything  was  what  it  ought  to  be ; 

But  he's  coming,  coming,  coming  ! 

Luckily,  no  one  can  make  the  same  mistake  about  the  hidden  verses  which 
abound  amid  much  other  playful  fooling  in  Macaulay's  Letters, — for  Macaulay 
himself  has  furnished  the  key  in  one  of  them  : 

My  Darling, — Why  am  I  such  a  fool  as  to  write  to  a  gypsy  at  Liverpool,  who  fancies  that 
none  is  so  good  as  she  if  she  sends  one  letter  for  my  three  ?  A  lazy  chit,  whose  fingers  tire  in 
penning  a  page  in  reply  to  a  quire  !  There,  miss,  you  read  all  the  first  sentence  of  my  epistle, 
and  never  knew  that  you  were  reading  verse. 

When  Mr.  Coventry  Patmore's  "  Angel  in  the  House"  was  first  published, 
the  Athenatim  furnished  the  following  unique  criticism  : 

The  gentle  reader  we  apprise.  That  this  new  Angel  in  the  House  Contains  a  tale  not  very 


wise,  About  a  person  and  a  spouse.  The  author,  gentle  as  a  lamb.  Has  managed  his  rhymes 
to  fit.  And  haply  fancies  he  has  writ  Another  "  In  Memoriam."  How  his  intended  gathered 
flowers,  And  took  her  tea  and  after  sung.  Is  told  in  style  somewhat  like  ours.  For  delectation  of 
the  young.  But,  reader,  lest  you  say  we  quiz  The  poet's  record  of  his  she.  Some  little  pictures 
you  shall  see,  Not  in  our  language  but  in  his  : 

While  thus  I  grieved  and  kissed  her  glove, 

My  man  brought  in  her  note  to  say 
Papa  had  bid  her  send  his  love. 

And  hoped  I'd  dine  with  them  next  day ; 
Theyhad  learned  and  practised  Purcell's  glee 

To  sing  it  by  to-morrow  night : 
The  postscript  was — her  sisters  and  she 

Enclosed  some  violets  blue  and  white. 

****** 
Restless  and  sick  of  long  exile, 

From  those  sweet  friends  I  rode  to  see 
The  church  repairs,  and  after  a  while 

Waylaying  the  Dean,  was  asked  to  tea. 
They  introduced  the  Cousin  Fred 

I'd  heard  of.  Honor's  favorite, — grave. 
Dark,  handsome,  bluff,  but  gently  bred. 

And  with  an  air  of  the  salt  wave. 

Fear  not  this  saline  Cousin  Fred  ;  He  gives  no  tragic  mischief  birth  ;  There  are  no  tears  for 
you  to  shed.  Unless  they  maybe  tears  of  mirth.  From  ball  to  bed,  from  field  to  farm.  The  tale 
flows  nicely  purling  on  ;  With  much  conceit  there  is  no  harm,  In  the  love-legend  here  begun. 
The  rest  will  come  another  day,  If  public  sympathy  allows;  And  this  is  all  we  have  to  say 
About  the  "  Angel  in  the  House." 

The  following  is  even  better.  It  appeared  originally  in  Eraser's  Magazine 
(it  may  also  be  found  in  Maclise  and  Maginn's  "Gallery  of  Illustrious  Lit- 
erary Characters")  as  the  introductory  portion  of  a  notice  of  young  Mr. 
Disraeli  : 

O  Reader  dear !  do  pray  look  here,  and  you  will  spy  the  curly  hair,  and  forehead  fair,  and 
Qose   so   high,  and  gleaming   eye,  of  Benjamin   Dis-ra-e-li,  the  wondrous  boy  who  wrote 


9o8  HANDY.BOOK  OF 

"  Alroy"  in  rhyme  and  prose,  only  to  show  how  long  ago  victoriuus  Judah's  lion-banner  rose. 
In  an  earlier  day  he  wrote  "  Vivian  Grey"— a  smart  enough  story,  we  must  say,  until  he  took 
his  hero  abroad,  and  trundled  him  over  the  German  road,  and  taught  him  there  not  to  drink 
beer,  and  swallow  schnapps,  and  pull  madchens'  caps,  and  smoke  the  cigar  and  the  meer- 
sham  true,  in  alehouse  and  lusthaus  all  Fatherland  through,  until  all  was  blue,  but  talk  sec- 
ond-hand tliat  which,  at  the  first,  was  never  many  degrees  from  the  worst, — namely,  German 
cant  and  High  Dutch  sentimentality,  maudlin  metaphysics  and  rubbishing  reality.  But 
those  who  would  find  how  Vivian  wined  with  the  Marchioness  of  Puddledock,  and  other 
great  grandees  of  the  kind,  and  how  he  talked  aesthetic,  and  waxed  eloquent  and  pathetic, 
and  kissed  his  Italian  puppies  of  the  greyhound  breed,  they  have  only  to  read — if  the  work  be 
still  alive — *'  Vivian  Grey,"  in  volumes  five. 

As  for  his  tentative  upon  the  Representaiive,  which  he  and  John  Murray  got  up  in  a  very 
great  hurry,  we  shall  say  nothing  at  all,  either  great  or  small  ;  and  all  the  wars  that  thence 
ensued,  and  the  Moravian's  deadly  feud  ;  nor  much  of  that  fine  book,  which  is  called  the 
"  Young  Duke,"  with  his  slippers  of  velvet  blue,  with  clasps  of  snowy-white  hue,  made  out 
of  the  pearl's  mother,  or  some  equally  fine  thing  or  other  ;  and  "  Fleming"  (Contarini),  which 
will  cost  ye  but  a  guinea;  and  "  Gallomania"  (get  through  it,  can  you?)  in  which  he  made 
war  on  (assisted  by  a  whiskered  baron — his  name  was  Von  Haber,  whose  Germanical  jabber. 
Master  Ben,  with  ready  pen,  put  into  English  sm;<rt  and  jinglish).  King  Philippe  and  his 
court ;  and  many  other  great  works  of  the  same  sort, — why,  we  leave  them  to  the  reader  to 
peruse ;   that  is  to  say,  if  he  should  choose. 

He  lately  stood  for  Wycombe,  but  there  Colonel  Grey  did  lick  him,  he  being  parcel  Tory 
and  parcel  Radical,— which  is  what  in  general  mad  we  call ;  and  the  latest  affair  of  his  we 
chanced  to  see,  is  "  What  is  he?"  a  question  which,  by  this  time,  we  have  somewhat  an- 
swered in  this  our  pedestrian  rhyme.  As  for  the  rest, — but  writing  rhyme  is,  after  all,  a 
pest ;  and  therefore 

Poetical  justice.  Literary  men  are  in  one  thing  superior  to  the  gods. 
Divine  justice  often  lags  ;  at  its  best  it  is  somewhat  lame  and  impotent.  But 
the  justice  of  the  dramatist,  the  poet,  and  the  novelist  is  all-satisfying.  In- 
deed, we  have  given  the  name  poetical  justice  to  an  ideal  distribution  of 
rewards  and  punishments,  based  on  individual  deserts  and  representing  the 
concurring  judgment  of  the  moral  law  and  of  human  sympathy.  Rare  enough 
with  Providence,  it  has  been  the  creed  or  the  practice  of  poets  of  all  ages  in 
that  imaginary  realm  which  contrasts  so  startlingly  with  this  "best  of  all  pos- 
sible worlds." 

It  is  true  that  in  the  earlier  Greek  tragedy  an  unappeasable  fate  pursues 
the  innocent  and  visits  the  sins  of  an  ancestor  upon  his  race  from  generation 
to  generation.  It  is  true  also  that  in  some  more  modern  masterpieces,  as  in 
"  Hamlet"  and  other  Elizabethan  dramas,  the  prit^ciple  of  retribution,  which 
is  one  of  the  sternest  demands  of  poetical  justice,  involves  guilty  and  inno- 
cent in  one  common  ruin.  It  is  even  true  that  here  and  there  in  literature 
the  guilty  are  exalted  at  the  expense  of  the  innocent.  But  these  are  only  the 
proverbial  exceptions  which  leave  the  rule  intact.  The  sensitive  conscience 
of  the  reading  public  cannot  often  be  trifled  with.  Its  exactions  were  recog- 
nized in  the  concluding  formula  of  the  good  old  fairy-stories,  "and  they  were 
married  and  lived  hajipily  ever  afterwards," — or,  as  the  Arabian  Nights  phrases 
it  with  Oriental  exuberance,  "and  so  they  remained  feasting  and  enjoying 
all  imaginable  pleasures  till  they  were  visited  by  the  Terminator  of  Delights, 
the  Separator  of  Companionships."  The  they  in  both  instances  refers,  of 
course,  to  the  virtuous  hero  and  heroine.  Ogre  and  evil  genius  might  triumph 
for  a  while,  they  gnashed  their  teeth  or  bit  the  dust  in  the  end.  The  modern 
novelist,  no  matter  how  he  may  harrow  his  reader's  feelings  in  the  interme- 
diate chapters,  knows  that  his  reader,  after  all,  has  rights,  and  sends  him 
away  in  good  humor  at  the  last.  Hero  and  heroine  are  married  with  a  suffi- 
cient income  ;  the  faithful  confidante  carries  away  a  lesser  prize  in  the  shape 
of  a  curate  or  some  worthy  old  bachelor  friend  of  the  husband  ;  domestic  bliss 
on  the  one  hand,  jail  or  death  on  the  other,  are  apportioned  with  the  nicest  sense 
of  individual  deserts.  Richardson's  complacent  enumeration  of  the  petitions 
he  received  to  spare  Clarissa  and  bring  the  engaging  Lovelace  to  Christian 
repentance,  Charlotte  Bronte's  lively  description  of  the  letters  inquiring  after 


k 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  909 

the  fate  of  Paul  Emanuel, — these  are  all  evidences  of  the  strength  of  the 
pojiular  feeling. 

Few  writers  have  been  as  courageous  as  Richardson  and  Miss  Bronte,  few 
have  dared  to  fly  in  the  face  of  their  admirers. 

Scott  makes  humorous  recognition  of  the  remonstrances  which  forced  him 
to  mar  the  last  chaiiters  of  "  Ivanhoe"  by  recalling  Athelstane  to  life.  Schiller 
forsook  history  to  give  the  Maid  of  Orleans  a  glorious  death  on  the  field  of 
battle,  instead  of  the  horrors  of  the  trial  and  the  stake  at  Rouen.  George 
Sand,  in  her  translation  of  "  As  You  Like  It,"  rectified  Shakespeare's  single 
omission  by  providing  a  husband  for  Celia  in  the  person  of  Jaques.  Dion 
Boucicault,  knowing  that  the  gods  inhabited  box  and  orchestra  as  well  as 
gallery,  sacrificed  to  their  divine  instincts  by  rescuing  the  "Colleen  Bawn" 
from  the  watery  grave  to  which  the  author  of  "The  Collegians"  had  con- 
signed her.  And  Thackeray,  though  in  his  burlesque  of  "  Rebecca  and 
Rowena"  he  had  set  himself  to  right  the  wrong  which  Scott,  with  all  his 
amiability,  had  done  to  Rebecca,  and  so  married  the  high-souled  Jewess  to 
Sir  Wilfred  of  Ivanhoe, — Thackeray,  who  had  resisted  the  popular  desire  to 
see  virtue  crowned  in  the  person  of  Colonel  Nevvcome,  was  fain  to  add  a 
tentative  conclusion  to  "  The  Newcomes,"  wherein  the  reader  is  allowed  to 
build  up  an  earthly  paradise  of  wedlock  for  Clive  and  Ethel. 

Like  Thackeray,  George  Eliot  was  usually  content  with  the  humbler  level 
of  divine  justice.  She  deals  with  her  characters  much  as  God  deals  with  the 
world.  The  good  are  never  quite  triumphant,  the  bad  are  never  cast  into  the 
outer  darkness.  Occasionally  a  novelist  with  a  love  of  paradox  seeks  to 
startle  his  readers  by  making  vice  triumph  over  virtue  to  the  very  end ;  but 
his  example  is  only  sparingly  emulated. 

Poets  and  poetry.  Coleridge's  definition  of  poetry  is  well  known.  "  I 
wish,"  he  said,  "our  clever  young  poets  would  remember  my  homely  defini- 
tions of  prose  and  poetry  :  that  is,  prose, — words  in  their  best  order  ;  poetry, 
— the  best  words  in  their  best  order."  This  sounds  well,  but  in  truth  is  mere 
nonsense.  Prose  as  well  as  poetry  should  aim  to  give  the  best  words  in 
their  best  order.  But  this  is  to  destroy  the  antithesis  and  to  refute  the  at- 
tempted definition.  Matthew  Arnold  is  more  successful :  "  Poetry  is  a  criti- 
cism of  life  under  the  conditions  of  poetic  truth  and  poetic  beauty."  Arnold 
also  quotes  with  approval  and  voluminously  glosses  Milton's  dictum  (Tractate 
of  Education)  that  poetry  should  be  "more  simple,  sensuous,  and  passionate" 
than  "  ornate  rhetorick." 

Philip  James  Bailey  in  "  Festus"  tells  us  that 

Poets  are  all  who  love,  who  feel  great  truths 
And  tell  them,  and  the  truth  of  truths  is  love. 

Scene,  a  country  town  : 

— a  thought  which  Carlyle  agrees  with  in  his  Essay  on  Burns  :  "  A  poet  with- 
out love  were  a  physical  and  metaphysical  impossibility." 

Yet,  according  to  another  great  authority,  poets  may  be  poets  even  if  they 
do  not  tell  the  great  truths  they  feel : 

Many  are  poets  who  have  never  penned 

Their  inspiration,  and  perchance  the  best  ; 
They  felt,  and  loved,  and  died,  but  would  not  lend 

Their  thoughts  to  meaner  beings  ;  they  compressed 
The  god  within  them,  and  rejoined  the  stars 

Unlaureled  upon  earth. 

Byron  :   The  Prophecy  0/ Dante,  Canto  iv. 

Holmes  drops  a  tear  over  these  voiceless  poets  whom  Byron  apotheo- 


gio  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

A  few  can  touch  the  magic  string, 

And  noisy  Fame  is  proud  to  win  them : 
Alas  for  those  that  never  sing. 

But  die  with  all  their  music  in  them  ! 

Nay,  grieve  not  for  the  dead  alone 

Whose  song  has  told  their  hearts'  sad  story; 

Weep  for  the  voiceless,  who  have  known 
The  cross  without  the  crown  of  glory  ! 

7'/te  yoiceless. 

"One  meets  now  and  then  with  polished  men,"  says  Emerson,  "who  know 
everything,  have  tried  everything,  can  do  everything,  and  are  quite  superior 
to  letters  and  science.  What  could  they  not  if  only  they  would?"  Dr. 
Johnson  lamented  that  "those  who  are  most  capable  of  improving  mankind 
very  frequently  neglect  to  communicate  their  knowledge  ;  either  because  it  is 
more  pleasing  to  gather  ideas  than  to  impart  them,  or  because  to  minds  nat- 
urally great  few  things  appear  of  so  much  importance  as  to  deserve  the  notice 
of  the  public."  "Great  constitutions,"  says  Sir  Thomas  Browne,  "and  such 
as  are  constellated  unto  knowledge,  do  nothing  till  they  outdo  all  ;  they  come 
short  of  themselves  if  they  go  not  beyond  others,  and  must  not  sit  down 
under  the  degree  of  worthies.  God  expects  no  lustre  from  the  minor  stars ; 
but  if  the  sun  should  not  illuminate  all,  it  were  a  sin  in  nature." 

If  we  are  to  believe  Shelley,  it  is  suffering  that  drives  men  to  poetry  : 
Most  wretched  men 


Are  cradled  into  poetry  by  wrong  : 
iffering  what  they  I 

Julian  and  Maddalo: 


They  learn  in  suffering  what  they  teach  in  song. 


— thus  stating  seriously  the  argument  which  Butler  jests  at : 
And  poets  by  their  sufferings  grow, — 
As  if  there  were  no  more  to  do. 
To  make  a  poet  excellent, 
But  only  want  and  discontent. 

Fra^nents. 

See  also  Mrs.  Browning's  lines  s.v.  Pain,  Capacity  for.     Wordsworth, 
however,  holds  that  gladness  is  the  beginning  and  sorrow  the  end  of  poets  ; 
We  poets  in  our  youth  begin  in  gladness. 
But  thereof  cometh  in  the  end  despondency  and  madness. 

Resolution  and  Independence. 

This  brings  up  the  question  of  genius  and  insanity,  already  exploited  under 
that  head.     In  conclusion,  let  us  add  the  well-known  lines  of  Shakespeare  : 

The  poet's  eye,  in  a  fine  frenzy  rolling. 

Doth  glance  from  heaven  to  earth,  from  earth  to  heaven. 

And  as  imagination  bodies  forth 

The  forms  of  things  unknown,  the  poet's  pen 

Turns  them  to  shapes,  and  gives  to  airy  nothing 

A  local  habitation  and  a  name. 

Such  tricks  hath  strong  imagination. 

That  if  it  would  but  apprehend  some  joy, 

It  comprehends  some  bringer  of  that  joy  ; 

Or  in  the  night,  imagining  some  fear. 

How  easy  is  a  bush  supposed  a  bear ! 

Midsutnmer  Night's  Dream,  Act  v.,  Sc.  i. 

Point,  Pointer,  in  American  slang,  the  same  as  its  English  equivalent,  a 
tip,  a  straight  tip,  which  has  now  grown  so  common  in  America  itself  as  to 
oust  the  native  slang  from  its  pre-eminence.  A  pointer,  the  more  usual  form, 
may  be  a  sporting  metaphor,  derived  from  the  dog  that  points  out  the  where- 
abouts of  game.  On  the  stock  exchange  it  means  secret  information  con- 
cerning some  particular  stock,  and  by  extension  it  has  come  to  mean  any 
item  of  reliable  and  important  information. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  911 

Poltroon.  A  curious  piece  of  history  is  wrapped  up  in  the  word  "  pol- 
troon," supposing  it  to  be  indeed  derived,  as  many  excellent  etymologists 
have  considered,  from  the  Latin  poUice  truncus,  one  that  is  deprived,  or  who 
has  deprived  himself,  of  his  thumb.  "  We  know  that  in  old  times  a  self- 
mutilation  of  this  description  was  not  unfrequent  on  the  part  of  some 
cowardly,  shirking  fellow,  who  wished  to  escape  his  share  in  the  defence  of 
his  country  ;  he  would  cut  off  his  right  thumb,  and  at  once  become  incapable 
of  drawing  the  bow,  and  thus  useless  for  the  wars.  It  was  not  to  be  wondered 
at  that  Englishmen  should  have  looked  with  extremest  disdain  on  one  who 
had  so  basely  exempted  himself  from  service,  nor  that  the  pol lice  truncus,  the 
poltroon,  first  applied  to  a  coward  of  this  sort,  should  afterwards  become  a 
name  of  scorn  affixed  to  every  base  and  cowardly  evader  of  the  duties  and 
dangers  of  life."  (Trench  on  VVords.) 

Pond  of  Kings,  a  body  of  water  in  the  ancient  town  of  Zaba,  or  Java,  the 
capital  of  the  "  mighty  empire  of  Zabedj."  This  empire  is  said  to  have  ex- 
tended from  Cape  Comorin  to  the  southern  frontier  of  China.  Founded 
before  the  Christian  era,  it  flourished  in  ever-increasing  splendor  until  the 
seventh  century,  when  it  waned  and  fell,  vanishing  so  completely  as  to  leave 
hardly  a  record  of  its  existence  behind.  The  story  of  the  Pond  of  Kings  is 
told  in  some  of  the  early  narratives  of  Arabian  travel  and  adventure.  It  was 
customary  for  the  treasurer  of  the  Maharajah,  or  Emperor  of  Zabedj,  every 
morning  to  go  out  to  this  pond,  which  lay  in  front  of  the  imperial  palace,  and 
cast  into  it  an  ingot  of  gold.  On  the  death  of  each  sovereign  the  ingots  were 
fished  up  again  and  divided  among  the  household. 

Pons  Asinorum  (L.,  "The  Bridge  of  Asses"),  the  Fifth  Proposition,  Book 
I.,  of  Euclid,  also  called  the  Pythagorean  Theorem, — viz.,  that  the  square  of 
the  hypotenuse  of  a  right-angled  triangle  is  equal  to  the  sum  of  the  squares 
of  the  two  sides.  It  is  the  first  difficult  proposition  in  Euclid,  a  stumbling- 
block  and  a  difficult  bridge  for  the  stupid  to  cross,  whence  its  name. 

Populus  vult  decipi,  et  decipiatur!  (L.,  "The  people  wish  to  be 
deceived,  then  let  them  be  deceived  !")  a  phrase  attributed,  on  no  very  good 
authority,  to  Cardinal  Carlo  Caraffa,  legate  of  his  uncle,  Pope  Paul  IV.  Its 
German  equivalent,  "Die  Welt  will  betrogen  sein,"  was  a  popular  proverb 
long  before  Caraffa's  time.  Bossuet  says,  "  No  man  is  more  easily  deceived 
than  he  who  hopes,  for  he  aids  in  his  own  deceit,"  and  Goethe,  "  Man  is  never 
deceived,  he  deceives  himself."   Shakespeare  expresses  the  idea  more  pithily : 

Thy  wish  was  father,  Harry,  to  that  thought. 

henry  IV.,  Part  11. ,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  5. 

Porcelain.  This  word  is  derived  kom.  pour  cent  annees,  "for  one  hundred 
years,"  it  being  formerly  believed  that  the  materials  of  porcelain  were  matured 
underground  one  hundred  years.  It  is  not  known  who  first  discovered  the 
art  of  making  it,  but  the  manufacture  has  been  carried  on  in  China,  at  King- 
te-Ching,  ever  since  the  year  442.  We  first  hear  of  it  in  Europe  in  I58i,and 
soon  after  this  time  it  was  known  in  England.  The  finest  porcelain-ware, 
known  as  Dresden  china,  was  discovered  by  an  apothecary's  boy,  named 
Boeticher,  in  1700.  Services  of  this  ware  have  often  cost  tens  of  thousands 
of  dollars. 

Porcelain  Regiment.  A  regiment  in  the  Prussian  army,  from  which  the 
present  First  Dragoons  and  the  Third,  Fourth,  and  Fifth  Regiments  of  Cuiras- 
siers claim  to  have  sprung.  King  Frederick  William,  it  appears,  possessed  a 
number  of  very  beautiful  and  precious  specimens  of  porcelain,  and  an  attempt 
was  made  by  King  August  II.  of  Poland,  who  was  also  Elector  of  Saxony, 


912  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

to  purchase  some  of  these  through  an  agent  in  Berlin.  King  Frederick 
William  declined  to  sell  any  of  his  porcelain  ;  but  King  August,  knowing  his 
royal  brother's  passion  for  soldiers,  offered  him  six  hundred  dragoons,  without 
horses,  arms,  equipment,  or  officers,  in  exchange  for  certain  pieces.  The 
negotiations  were  carried  on  by  Privy  Councillor  von  Marschall  on  behalf  of 
Prussia  and  Lieutenant-General  von  Schmettau  for  King  August,  and  ended 
in  the  transfer  of  the  six  hundred  dragoons  to  the  King  of  Prussia,  and  of  a 
number  of  the  vases  in  the  first  place  to  Dresden,  where  some  were  added 
to  the  royal  collection  of  china,  and  others  were  placed  in  the  Johann  Museum, 
where  they  are  still  distinguished  as  the  "dragoon  vases."  The  men  were 
valued  at  twenty  thalers  each,  and  the  whole  regiment,  consequently,  at 
twelve  thousand  thalers  ;  while  the  porcelain  given  in  exchange  for  them 
was  considered  to  be  worth  considerably  more,  though  it  had  been  purchased 
by  the  deceased  king  Frederick  I.  for  a  smaller  sum. 

Porter-house  steak.  In  New  York  City,  fifty  or  more  years  ago,  there 
were  established  a  number  of  so-called  "porter-houses," — places  where  porter 
and  ale  were  sold.  The  tradition  is  that  a  beefsteak  was  called  for  at  a 
butcher's  shop,  and,  none  being  on  hand,  a  cut  from  a  roasting-piece,  about 
to  be  sent  to  a  porter-house,  was  given  the  customer.  It  proved  so  much 
sujjerior  to  the  ordinary  steak  that  when  he  called  next  he  asked  for  porter- 
house steak,  so  the  cut  became  choice  and  the  name  popular.  Nor  was  it 
many  years  before  the  American  invention  had  crossed  the  seas  and  become 
known  under  the  same  name  in  England. 

Portmanteau  words.  In  "  Through  the  Looking-Glass,"  when  Alice  is 
perplexed  by  the  poem  of  "The  Jabberwocky"  (see  under  Nonsense)  and 
asks  the  meaning  of  "slithy,"  Humpty  Dumpty  explains  that  it  means  "  lithe" 
and  "slimy:"  "You  see,  it's  like  a  portmanteau;  there  are  two  meanings 
packed  up  in  one  word."  And  in  the  preface  to  "  The  Hunting  of  the  Snark" 
Mr.  Carro'l  still  further  enlarges  on  the  subject  of  portmanteau  words :  "  For 
instance,  take  the  two  words  'fuming'  and  'furious.'  Make  up  your  mind 
that  you  will  say  both  words,  but  leave  it  unsettled  which  you  will  say  first. 
Now  open  your  mouth  and  speak.  If  your  thoughts  incline  ever  so  little 
towards  'fuming,'  you  will  say  'fuming-furious  ;'  if  they  turn  by  even  a  hair's 
breadth  towards  'furious,'  you  will  say  '  furious-fuming  ;'  but  if  you  have 
that  rarest  of  gifts,  a  perfectly-balanced  mind,  you  will  say  '  frumious.' "  And 
he  gives  a  Shakespearian  illustration  :  "  Supposing  that  when  Pistol  uttered 
the  well-known  words, 

Under  which  king,  Bezonian  ?     Speak  or  die  ! 

Justice  Shallow  had  felt  certain  that  it  was  either  William  or  Richard,  but 
had  not  been  able  to  settle  which,  so  that  he  could  not  possibly  say  either 
name  before  the  other,  can  it  be  doubted  that,  rather  than  die,  he  would  have 
gasped  'Richiam'?"  After  all,  Mr.  Carroll  has  only  given  a  name  to  the 
method,  and  is  entitled  to  all  the  credit  thereof  But  the  inventor  of  the 
method  was  Bishop  Samuel  Wilberforce.  Wishing  to  describe  one  of  his 
clergy  (a  certain  Rev.  W.  H.  Hoare,  of  Sussex)  who  combined  the  habits  of 
a  country  gentleman  with  the  office  of  the  priesthood,  Wilberforce,  instead 
of  saying  that  he  was  a  squire  and  parson  combined,  joined  the  two  words 
into  one  and  defined  him  as  a  "squarson."  Later,  when  he  had  himself  suc- 
ceeded to  a  landed  estate,  a  friend  asked,  "  Why,  Wilberforce,  have  you 
become  a  squarson.-"'  "No,"  was  the  reply,  "a  squirshop."  Edmund  Lear 
was  also  an  early  pioneer  of  the  practice.  "  Scroobius"and  "  borascible"  are 
to  be  found  in  his  first  book  of  rhymes.  In  the  third — but  this  may  have  been 
when  the  influence  of  Lewis  Carroll  had  begun  to  react  upon  him — we  have 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  913 

in  allusion  to  the  "  terrible  zone,"  which  is  one  of  the  most  beautiful  of  port- 
mantologisms.  Of  course,  in  real  life,  words  of  this  kind  are  frequently 
coined  by  nervous  or  absent-minded  people,  but  they  receive  no  place  in 
literature.  A  writer  in  the  Spectator  tells  us  of  a  country  rector  in  Ireland 
who  was  liable  to  contort  and  tangle  his  words  in  strange  fashion.  "  Thus, 
we  have  heard  him  speak  of  the  '  imperfurities'  of  man,  when  it  was  quite 
obvious  that  he  could  not  make  up  his  mind  between  '  imperfection'  and  '  im- 
purities,' and  ended  by  amalgamating  the  two  words  into  one." 

Possession.  It  is  a  truism  that  there  is  more  joy  in  pursuit  than  in  pos- 
session.    We  find  the  sentiment  even  so  far  back  as  in  Pliny  the  Younger  : 

An  object  in  possession  seldom  retains  the  same  charm  that  it  had  in  pursuit. — Letters, 
Book  ii.,  Letter  xv.,  i. 

Shakespeare  says, — 

All  things  that  are, 
Are  with  more  spirit  chased  than  enjoyed. 
How  like  a  younker  or  a  prodigal 
The  scarfed  bark  puts  from  her  native  bay, 
Hugged  and  embraced  by  the  strumpet  windl 
How  like  the  prodigal  doth  she  return. 
With  over-weathered  ribs  and  ragged  sails, 
Lean,  rent,  and  beggared  by  the  strumpet  wind ! 

Merchant  of  Venice,  Act  ii..  So.  6; 
and  Goldsmith, — 

It  has  been  a  thousand  times  observed,  and  I  must  observe  it  once  more,  that  the  hours 
we  pass  with  happy  prospects  in  view  are  more  pleasing  than  those  crowned  with  fruition, — 
Vicar  of  Wakefield,  ch.  x. ; 

and  James  Montgomery, — 

Bliss  in  possession  will  not  last ; 
Remembered  joys  are  never  past ; 
At  once  the  fountain,  stream,  and  sea. 
They  were,  they  are,  they  yet  shall  be. 


and  Burns, — 


The  Little  Cloud; 


But  pleasures  are  like  poppies  spread. 
You  seize  the  flower,  its  bloom  is  shed ; 
Or  like  the  snow-fall  in  the  river, 
A  moment  white,  then  melts  forever. 

Tarn  o'  Shanter. 
Nor  should  T.  B.  Aldrich  be  forgotten  : 

When  I  behold  what  pleasure  is  Pursuit, 

What  life,  what  glorious  eagerness  it  is. 

Then  mark  how  full  Possession  falls  from  this. 
How  fairer  seems  the  blossom  than  the  fruit, — 
I  am  perplext,  and  often  stricken  mute. 

Wondering  which  attained  the  higher  bliss. 

The  winged  insect,  or  the  chrysalis 
It  thrust  aside  with  unreluctant  foot. 

Pursuit  and  Possession. 

Shakespeare  also  puts  into  words  the  familiar  thought  that  to  lose  a  thing 
is  to  make  it  gain  a  new  and  greater  value  in  our  eyes, — a  value  akin  to  that 
it  had  in  pursuit : 

For  It  so  falls  out 
That  what  we  have  we  prize  not  to  the  worth 
Whiles  we  enjoy  it,  but  being  lacked  and  lost. 
Why,  then  we  rack  the  value  ;  then  we  find 
The  virtue  that  possession  would  not  show  us 
Whiles  it  was  ours. 

Much  Ada  About  Nothing,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  i. 

But  Young  has  put  this  thought  into  its  final  and  definite  form : 
How  blessings  brighten  as  they  take  their  flight  I 

Nisht  Thoughts,  ii.,  1.  603. 

20  hhh  77 


914  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Possum,  To  play,  an  American  colloquialism,  meaning  to  feign,  to  dis- 
semble, to  sham  dead,  a  quasi-equivalent  to  the  old  English  slang  "to  sham 
Abraham."  Possum  is  the  vernacular  abbreviation  of  opossum,  and  the 
latter  has  a  well-known  trick  of  throwing  itself  on  its  back  and  feigning  death 
on  the  approach  of  an  enemy. 

Posterity.  The  appeal  to  posterity  has  been  a  favorite  one  with  prophets 
who  imagined  themselves  unhonored  in  their  own  day  and  generation.  Pos- 
terity will  be  wiser,  better  informed,  less  prejudiced,  than  the  present,  therefore 
they  fondly  imagine  posterity  nuist  be  on  their  side.  But,  as  Disraeli  said  in 
answer  to  Sir  Robert  Peel,  who  had  made  this  familiar  appeal,  "  Very  few 
people  reach  posterity.  Who  among  us  may  arrive  at  that  destination,  I 
presume  not  to  vaticinate.  Posterity  is  a  most  limited  assembly.  Those 
gentlemen  who  reach  posterity  are  not  much  more  numerous  than  the  planets." 
Two  fine  French  mots  have  been  discredited  by  the  same  sort  of  historians. 
One  is  the  cry  of  Desaix  when  mortally  wounded  at  the  very  moment  he  had 
turned  defeat  into  victory  at  Marengo:  "Tell  tlie  P'irst  Consul  that  I  regret 
dying  before  I  have  done  enough  to  make  my  name  known  to  posterity."  But 
the  report  of  eye-witnesses  is  that  he  was  killed  instantly.  The  other  is  the 
analogous  speech  of  Andre  Chenier,  said  to  have  been  made  in  the  fatal  cart 
that  carried  him  to  the  guillotine  :  "  I  have  done  nothing  for  posterity  ;  never- 
theless [striking  his  forehead]  there  was  something  there."  The  saying  has 
been  traced  to  a  poem  by  Loizerolles  on  the  death  of  his  father,  who  shared 
Chenier's  prison.  It  was  happily  said  by  Byron,  in  a  letter  to  Moore,  that  a 
foreign  nation  is  a  sort  of  contemporaneous  posterity.  The  phrase,  however, 
is  imitated  from  Franklin,  who,  speaking  of  the  English,  said,  "  We  are  a  kind 
of  posterity  in  respect  to  them."  {Letter  to  William  Sirahan.)  And  again, 
in  a  letter  to  Washington  written  from  Paris,  March  5,  1780,  "  Here  you  would 
know  and  enjoy  what  posterity  will  say  of  Washington.  For  a  thousand 
leagues  have  nearly  the  same  effect  with  a  thousand  years."  But  Charles 
Lamb  would  away  with  all  regard  for  posterity.  "  Hang  jjosterity  !"  he  cried. 
"I  will  write  for  antiquity."  In  a  similar  spirit  Sir  Boyle  Roche  asked  the 
Irish  Parliament,  "  Why  should  we  legislate  for  posterity  }  What  has  posterity 
ever  done  for  us  V  a  phrase  which  John  Trumbull  echoed  in  his  "  McFingal," 
Canto  ii, : 

As  though  there  were  a  tie 

And  obligation  to  posterity. 

We  get  them,  bear  them,  breed,  and  nurse : 

What  has  posterity  done  for  us. 

That  we,  lest  they  their  rights  should  lose. 

Must  thrust  our  necks  to  gripe  of  noose? 
In  a  speech  made  June  3,  1862,  Disraeli  accused  Palmerston  of  "seeming 
to  think  that  posterity  is  a  pack-horse  always  loaded." 

Potwalloper.  Before  the  Reform  Act  of  1832  the  members  of  Parlia- 
ment for  certain  boroughs  in  England  were  elected  by  household  franchisers, 
the  only  qualification  required  of  the  electors  being  the  fact  of  their  having 
been  settled  in  the  parish  for  six  months,  the  settlement  being  considered  suf- 
ficiently proved  if  the  claimant  had  boiled  his  own  pot  within  its  boundaries 
for  the  required  period, — wall  meaning  to  "boil  :"  out  of  these  elements, /«?/, 
wall,  up,  or  "pot  boil  up,"  was  constructed  the  melodious  name  Potwalloper, 
whereby  those  voters  became  known  who  appeared  in  the  borough  just  before 
an  election,  and  immediately  afterwards  disappeared  as  mysteriously  as  they 
had  come. 

Pour  encourager  les  autres  (Fr.,  "To  encourage  the  others"),  a  satiri- 
cal phrase,  first  applied  by  Voltaire  in  "Candide"  to  the  execution  by  the 
English  of  Admiral  Byng  (1757)  for  having  failed  to  raise  the  siege  of  Minorca, 


I 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  915 

Candide,  in  chap,  xxiii.,  accidentally  witnesses  the  execution,  and  asks  of  the 
by-standers  who  was  the  man  that  had  been  killed  so  ceremoniously.  '"It's 
an  admiral,'  they  told  him.  'And  why  kill  this  admiral?'  'Because,'  said 
they,  '  he  didn't  cause  enough  people  to  be  killed  ;  he  engaged  in  battle 
with  a  French  admiral,  and  it  was  found  that  he  was  not  near  enough  to 
him.'  '  15ut,'  said  Candide,  'the  French  admiral  was  as  far  from  the  Eng- 
lish as  the  latter  was  from  the  other.'  'That  is  incontestable,'  was  the  reply, 
'  but  in  this  country  it  is  well  to  kill  an  admiral  from  time  to  time,  to  encourage 
the  others.'"  The  phrase  has  passed  into  literature,  generally  as  a  sarcastic 
comment  on  any  excessive  punishment. 

Pour  le  Roi  de  Prusse.  In  the  beginning  of  the  eighteenth  century  the 
now  so  powerful  German  Empire  was  nothing  more  than  the  little  kingdom 
of  Prussia,  having  just  dropjjed  its  title  of  "Duchy  of  Brandenburg.  The 
country  was  very  poor,  and  the  military  discipline  very  hard.  Frederick 
William  I.  was  very  harsh,  cross,  and  stingy,  and  did  not  even  know,  perhaps, 
what  it  was  to  make  a  present.  And  his  reputation  was  so  well  grounded 
and  so  widely  spread  that  it  became  a  by-word  to  say  that  a  man  had  worked 
for  the  King  of  Prussia  when  he  had  done  some  unprofitable  job. 

Power  (or  OfBce)  proves  the  man,  a  proverb  of  classic  antiquity.  Aris- 
totle, in  his  "Ethics,"  Book  v.,  ch.  i.,  attributes  it  to  Bias.  Plutarch  also 
refers  to  it  in  his  comparison  of  Demosthenes  and  Cicero,  glossing  it  thus  : 
"  It  is  an  observation  no  less  just  than  common,  that  nothing  makes  so  thor- 
ough a  trial  of  a  man's  disposition  as  power  and  authority,  for  they  awaken 
every  passion  and  discover  every  latent  vice."  In  his  life  of  Epaminondas  he 
also  notices  the  converse  of  the  proposition  in  the  case  of  Epaminondas,  who 
accepted  the  ofifice  of  police  magistrate  that  had  been  offered  him  by  the  The- 
bans  out  of  contumely,  and  dignified  it  through  the  force  of  his  personality. 
Compare  also  the  characterization  of  Galba  by  Tacitus  :  "  He  seemed  greater 
than  a  private  person  while  he  lived  in  privacy,  and  by  the  consent  of  every- 
body would  have  been  held  capable  of  ruling  had  he  never  ruled"  ("  Major 
privato  visus  dum  privatus  fuit,  et  omnium  consensu  capax  imperii  nisi  im- 
perasset." — Lib.  i.,  cap.  xlix.).  The  Germans  have  two  optimistic  proverbs, 
"  The  office  teaches  the  man,"  and  "  To  whom  God  gives  an  office  he  gives 
understanding  also,"  which  are  approvingly  echoed  by  Selden.  "A  great 
place  strangely  qualifies,"  says  the  latter.  "John  Read  was  groom  of  the 
chamber  to  my  lord  of  Kent.  Attorney-General  Roy  being  dead,  some  were 
saying,  how  would  the  king  do  for  a  fit  man  ?  '  Why,  any  man,'  says  John 
Read,  '  may  execute  the  place.'  'I  warrant,' says  my  lord,  '  thou  thinkest 
thou  understandest  enough  to  perform  it.'  '  Yes,'  quoth  John,  '  let  the  king 
make  me  attorney,  and  I  would  fain  see  the  man  that  durst  tell  me  there's 
anything  I  understand  not.'  " 

Practice  and  Precept.  That  practice  and  precept  rarely  agree  is  a 
commonplace  of  experience.  That  they  ought  to  agree  is  a  commonplace  of 
ethics.  Yet  the  preacher  himself  has  often  acknowledged  his  inability  to  live 
up  to  his  doctrine.  "Do  as  I  say,  not  as  I  do,"  was,  according  to  Boccaccio, 
Book  iii.,  Story  vii,,  a  common  phrase  among  the  Italian  monks  of  his  day,  who 
thought  "  they  had  answered  well  and  were  absolved  from  all  crime"  when 
they  repeated  it.  There  may  be  a  reference  here  to  the  words  of  Jesus  :  "The 
scribes  and  the  Pharisees  sit  in  Moses'  seat :  all  therefore  whatsoever  they 
bid  you  observe,  that  observe  and  do  ;  but  do  not  ye  after  their  works  :  for 
they  say,  and  do  not."  The  maxim  is  also  illustrated  in  the  familiar  story  in 
the  "Gesta  Romanorum"  of  the  priest  who  was  twitted  on  his  immorality. 
He  led  his  critic  to  the  head  of  a  stream,  where  it  was  found  that  the  waters 
gushed  out  of  the  skeleton  mouth  of  a  dead  dog.     Yet  the  waters  were  pure 


9l6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

and  sweet.    Even  so  the  gospel  remained  incorruptible,  though  it  came  through 
the  lips  of  corruption.     Something  of  the  same  doctrine  is  taught  by  Ovid  : 
Video  meliora  proboque, 
Deteriora  sequor. 

Metamorphoses,  vii.  20. 
("  I  see  the  right,  and  I  approve  it  too, 

Condemn  the  wrong,  and  yet  the  wrong  pursue." 

Tate  and  Stonestreet' s  translation.) 

Petrarch  has  much  the  same  sentiment : 

I  know  and  love  the  good,  yet,  ah  !  the  wrong  pursue. 

Sonnet  CCXXV.  ; 
and  Shakespeare : 

If  to  do  were  as  easy  as  to  know  what  were  good  to  do,  chapels  had  been  churches,  and 
poor  men's  cottages  princes'  palaces.— J/e-r-cAaw/  0/  Venice,  Act  i.,  Sc.  2. 

Probably  all  of  these  are  more  or  less  direct  descendants  from  the  New 
Testament : 

For  the  good  that  I  would  I  do  not ;  but  the  evil  which  I  would  not,  that  I  do.— Romans 
vii.  19. 

On  the  other  hand,  we  have  Goldsmith  saying  of  Burke, — 
His  conduct  still  right,  with  his  argument  wrong. 

Retaliation,  1.  46. 

"  Who  now  reads  Cowley  ?"  asks  Pope.  Evidently  Pope  did.  Cowley,  in 
his  poem  "  On  the  Death  of  Crashaw,"  had  said, — 

W\s  faith,  perhaps,  in  some  nice  tenets  might 
Be  wrong;  his  life,  I'm  sure,  was  in  the  right. 

Pope,  in  his  "  Essay  on  Man,"  borrows  the  thought  without  acknowledgment: 

For  modes  of  faith  let  graceless  zealots  fight ; 
His  can't  be  wrong  whose  life  is  in  the  right. 

Ep.  iii.,  1.  305. 

After  all,  the  words  of  Emerson  embody  the  true  ethics  of  the  case  : 
Go  put  your  creed  into  your  deed. 
Nor  speak  with  double  tongue. 

Ode,  Concord,  July  4. 

Milton  had  already  said,  very  finely,  "  He  who  would  not  be  frustrate  of  his 
hope  to  write  well  hereafter  in  laudable  things  ought  himself  to  be  a  true 
poem." — Apology  for  Sniedymnuns. 

Young,  Goldsmith,  Shakespeare,  and  Chaucer  enforce  the  same  moral, 
Young  making  all  due  allowances  for  human  weakness: 
Thy  purpose  firm  is  equal  to  the  deed  : 
Who  does  the  best  his  circumstance  allows 
Does  well,  acts  nobly  ;  angels  could  no  more. 

Night  Thoughts. 
And  as  a  bird  each  fond  endearment  tries 
To  tempt  its  new-fledged  offspring  to  the  skies. 
He  tried  each  art,  reproved  each  dull  delay. 
Allured  to  brighter  worlds,  and  led  the  way. 

The  Deserted  Village,  1.  167. 
Do  not,  as  some  ungracious  pastors  do, 
Show  me  the  steep  and  thorny  way  to  heaven  ; 
Whiles,  like  a  puffed  and  reckless  libertine. 
Himself  the  primrose  path  of  dalliance  treads. 
And  recks  not  his  own  rede. 

Hamlet. 
This  noble  ensample  to  his  shepe  he  yaf, — 
That  first  he  wrought,  and  afterwards  he  taught. 
******* 
But  Cristes  lore,  and  his  apostles  twelve, 
He  taught;  but  first  he  folwed  it  himselve. 

Canterbury  Tales:  Prologue, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  917 

John  Armstrong  (i 709-1 779)  has  been  saved  from  oblivion  by  the  last  line 
in  this  extract : 

Of  right  and  wrong  he  taught 
Truths  as  refined  as  ever  Athens  heard  ; 
And  (strange  to  tell  !)  he  practised  what  he  preached. 

The  Art  of  Preserving  Health,  Book  iv.,  1.  301. 

Praise  from  Sir  Hubert  is  praise  indeed,  a  common  misquotation 
from  Thomas  Morton's  drama  "A  Cure  for  the  Heartache,"  Act  ii.,  Sc.  i, 
where  it  is  less  tersely  put  as  "  Approbation  from  Sir  Hubert  Stanley  is  praise 
indeed."  Morton  probably  had  in  mind  the  Latin  phrase  "  Laudari  a  viro 
laudato"  ("  To  be  praised  by  a  man  who  is  himself  praised"). 

Prayer.  In  "  The  Passing  of  Arthur"  Tennyson  makes  the  departing  king 
say  to  Sir  Bedivere, — 

More  things  are  wrought  by  prayer 
Than  this  world  dreams  of.     Wherefore  let  thy  voice 
Rise  like  a  fountain  for  me  night  and  day. 
For  what  are  men  better  than  sheep  or  goats 
That  nourish  a  blind  life  within  the  brain. 
If,  knowing  God,  they  lift  not  hands  of  prayer 
Both  for  themselves  and  those  who  call  them  friend? 
For  so  the  whole  round  world  is  every  way 
Bound  by  gold  chains  about  the  feet  of  God. 

This  seems  like  a  reminiscence  of  the  phrase  in  Burton, — 

And  this  is  that  Homer's  golden  chain  which  reacheth  down  from  heaven  to  earth,  by  which 

every  creature  is  annexed  and  depends  on  his  Creator. — Anatomy  0/  Melancholy,  Part  III., 

Sec.  i.,  Memb.  i..  Subs.  i.  ; 

which  was  also  utilized  by  Pope  : 

Vast  chain  of  being,  which  from  God  began. 

Natures  ethereal,  human,  angel,  man. 

Beast,  bird,  fish,  insect,  what  no  eye  can  see, 

No  glass  can  reach  ;  from  Infinite  to  thee, 

From  thee  to  Nothing.     On  superior  powers, 

Were  we  to  press,  inferior  might  on  ours, 

Or  in  the  full  creation  leave  a  void. 

Where,  one  step  broken,  the  great  scale's  destroyed : 

From  Nature's  chain  whatever  link  you  strike. 

Tenth  or  ten-thousandth,  breaks  the  chain  alike. 

Essay  on  Man,  Ep.  i.,  1.  237. 
Or  was  Pope  borrowing  from  Waller .? — 

The  chain  that's  fixed  to  the  throne  of  Jove, 
On  which  the  fabric  of  our  world  depends, 
One  link  dissolved,  the  whole  creation  ends. 

Of  tlie  Danger  His  Majesty  Escaped. 

Still  more  interesting  is  an  analogous  passage  in  one  of  Tennyson's  greatest 
contemporaries : 

The  Maker  has  linked  together  the  whole  race  of  man  with  this  chain  of  love.  I  like  to 
think  that  there  is  no  man  but  has  had  kindly  feelings  for  some  other,  and  he  for  his  neighbor, 
until  we  bind  together  the  whole  family  of  Adam.  Nor  does  it  end  here.  It  joins  heaven 
and  earth  together.  For  my  friend  or  my  child  of  past  days  is  still  my  friend  or  my  child  to 
me  here,  or  in  the  home  prepared  for  us  by  the  Father  of  all.  If  identity  survives  the  grave, 
as  our  faith  tells  us,  is  it  not  a  consolation  to  think  that  there  may  be  one  or  two  souls  among 
the  purified  and  just,  whose  affection  watches  us  invisible,  and  follows  the  poor  sinner  on 
earth? — Thackekay  :   Cornhiil  to  Cairo. 

St.  John  Chrysostom  was  learned  in  Greek  literature,  and  it  would  be  curious 
if  we  could  trace  to  a  classic  model  the  exquisite  prayer  composed  by  him  : 
"Fulfil  now,  O  Lord,  the  desires  and  petitions  of  thy  servants,  as  may  be 
most  expedient  for  them."  This  is  not  a  scriptural  idea,  but  there  is  some- 
thing not  unlike  it  in  a  prayer  by  an  unknown  poet,  which  is  highly  commended 
by  Plato :  "  Father  Jove,  grant  us  good,  whether  we  pray  for  it  or  not ;  and 

77* 


91 8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

avert  from  us  evil,  even  though  we  pray  for  it."  And  one  of  the  fragments 
of  Menander  runs,  M^  iioi  ykvoiff  Sl  liovkofi  uXk'  a  avfKpipec  {"  Let  not  that  happen 
which  I  wish,  but  that  which  is  right").     Compare  the  lines 

Unasked,  what  good  thou  knowest,  grant ; 
What  ill,  though  asked,  deny, 

in  Pope's  "  Universal  Prayer ;"  also  the  Collect  beginning  "  Almighty  God, 
the  fountain  of  all  wisdom,  who  knowest  our  necessities  before  we  ask,  and 
our  ignorance  in  asking." 

James  Merrick  (i  720-1 769)  says, — 

Not  what  we  wish,  but  what  we  want. 
Oh,  let  thy  grace  supply  ! 

Hymn. 

Precieuaes,  Les,  the  name  by  which  the  members  of  the  Society  of  the 
Hotel  Rambouillet  were  called.  It  was  an  association  of  pseudo-savants  of 
both  sexes  in  France  in  the  first  half  of  the  seventeenth  century,  who  in- 
dulged in  a  mixture  of  ridiculous  philosophy  and  gush. 

The  usages  of  the  coteries  into  which  they  were  subdivided  were  most 
grotesque  ;  the  women  affected  toward  each  other  the  most  exaggerated  show 
of  romantic  sentiment ;  they  called  one  another  by  no  other  names  than  ma 
chere,  ma prkieuse,  which  soon  became  the  general  designation  of  its  members. 
When  the  hour  approached  for  her  levee,  the  female  "precious"  jumped  into 
bed,  where  she  languished  as  the  habitues  of  her  circle  trooped  in  and 
ranged  themselves  about  the  alcove.  To  obtain  an  entree  into  the  charmed 
circle  the  young  aspirants  were  obliged  to  prove  to  the  satisfaction  of  the 
"grands  introducteurs  de  ruelles"  that  they  had  risen  to  a  comprehension  of 
the  "end  of  all  things,  the  great  end  or  end  of  ends,"  which  done,  they  were 
duly  presented.  Each  "  precieuse"  had  a  cavalier,  called  the  "  alcoviste," 
who  was  peculiarly  devoted  to  her  service  and  helped  do  the  honors  and 
direct  the  conversation  at  these  peculiar  entertainments.  The  subjects  were 
grave  dissertations  upon  frivolous  questions,  trivial  researches  to  understand 
the  meaning  of  an  enigma,  speculations  upon  the  metaphysics  of  love  and 
the  sublimations  of  sentiment,  all  discussed  with  an  exaggerated  delicacy  of 
manner  and  puerile  refinement  of  expression. 

They  finally  succumbed  to  the  laughter  of  Moliere  in  his  "  Precieuses 
Ridicules." 

Pretenders,  The,  the  son  and  the  grandson  of  King  James  II.  The  first, 
James  Francis  Edward  Stuart,  is  known  as  the  Old  Pretender,  and  his  son, 
Charles  Edward  Stuart,  as  the  Young  Pretender.  The  Acts  of  Settlement 
passed  in  the  reign  of  William  III.  (1701-1708)  secured  the  succession  of  the 
House  of  Hanover.  The  Old  Pretender  made  some  vain  attempts  to  recover 
the  kingdom,  but  in  1743  surrendered  his  claims  to  his  son,  who  in  the  fol- 
lowing year  invaded  Great  Britain,  by  way  of  Scotland,  and  fought  gallantly 
but  was  signally  defeated  at  Culloden  in  1746. 

The  extempore  addressed  by  John  Byrom  to  an  officer  of  the  army  presents 
a  phase  of  the  perplexities  of  the  politics  of  the  time  : 

God  bless  the  King — I  mean  the  faith's  defender; 

God  bless— no  harm  in  blessing — the  Pretender; 

But  who  Pretender  is,  or  who  is  King, — 

God  bless  us  all, — is  quite  another  thing. 

Prevention  is  better  than  cure,  or,  more  at  length.  An  ounce  of  pre- 
vention is  worth  a  j^ound  of  cure,  a  common  English  proverb  which  finds 
analogues  more  or  less  close  in  most  languages.  Ovid's  "  Principiis  obsta" 
{q.  V.)  embodies  a  similar  idea,  and  so  does  Persius's  "  Venienti  occurrite 
morbo"  {Satires,  iii.  64).      A  closer  parallel  is  quoted  in  the  "Adagia"  of 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  9^9 

Erasmus:  "Satius  est  initiis  mederi,  quam  fini"  ("It  is  better  to  doctor  at 
the  beginning  than  at  the  end").  The  Chinese  say,  "  To  correct  an  evil  when 
aheady  existing  is  not  so  good  as  being  aware  of  it  when  not  existing." 

Pride  that  apes  humility.  Coleridge  in  the  unfinished  poem  of  "  The 
Devil's  Thoughts,"  which  he  and  Southey  were  to  write  together,  contributed 
the  following  among  other  verses  : 

He  saw  a  cottage  with  a  double  coach-house, 

A  cottage  of  gentility  ; 
And  the  devil  did  grin,  for  his  darling  sin 
Is  pride  that  apes  humility. 

Southey  rather  spoiled  the  stanza  by  attempting  to  improve  it : 
He  passed  a  cottage  with  a  double  coach-house, — 
A  cottage  of  gentility  ; 

And  he  owned,  with  a  grin. 
That  his  favorite  sin 
Is  pride  that  apes  humility. 

When  Diogenes  trampled  upon  a  couch  at  dinner  in  Plato's  house,  crying, 
"  I  trample  upon  Plato's  pride,"  the  latter  quietly  retorted,  "  But  with  greater 
pride,  Diogenes."  The  Abbe  Maury  ridiculed  in  a  similar  way  the  liberal 
members  t)f  the  noblesse  in  the  National  Assembly  who  proposed  the  abolition 
of  titles  :  "  You  tread  upon  ostentation  but  with  greater  ostentation."  So 
Socrates  said  to  the  cynic  Antisthenes,  who  inveighed  against  the  pride  and 
luxury  of  the  conventional  classes,  "  I  can  see  thy  pride  through  the  holes  in 
thy  robe." 

Pride's  Purge,  the  purgation  of  the  "Long  Parliament,"  really  an  un- 
precedented and  violent  invasion  of  parliamentary  privilege,  in  1649.  Two 
regiments  of  soldiers  entered  the  House  of  Parliament,  seized  in  the  passage 
and  arrested  the  forty-one  members  of  the  Presbyterian  party,  excluded  one 
hundred  and  sixty  others,  and  would  admit  none  but  the  most  violent  and 
vociferous  of  the  Independents.  These  proceedings  were  called  "  Pride's 
Purge,"  from  the  fact  tliat  the  soldiery  were  under  the  command  of  Colonel 
Pride. 

What  was  left  of  the  purged  Parliament  became  known  as  "  the  Rump." 
The  purgation  was  completed  by  Oliver  Cromwell  on  April  20,  1653,  when  he 
entered  the  chamber,  and,  after  some  preliminary  remarks,  concluded, — 

"  Corrupt,  unjust  persons  ;  scandalous  to  the  profession  of  the  Gospel ;  how  can  you  be  a 
Parliament  for  God's  people?  Depart,  I  say,  and  let  us  have  done  with  you  !  In  the  name 
of  God — go  !" 

The  House  is,  of  course,  all  on  its  feet — uncertain,  almost,  whether  not  on  its  head  :  such  a 
scene  as  was  never  seen  before  in  any  House  of  Commons.  History  reports  with  a  shudder 
that  my  Lord  General,  lifting  the  sacred  mace  itself,  said,  "  What  shall  we  do  with  this 
bawble?  Take  it  awayj" — and  gave  it  to  a  musketeer.  And  now,  "  Fetch  him  down  !" 
says  he  to  Harrison,  flashing  on  the  Speaker.  Speaker  Lenthall,  more  an  ancient  Roman 
than  anything  else,  declares  he  will  not  come  till  forced.  "  Sir,"  said  Harrison,  "  I  will  lend 
you  a  hand;"  on  which  Speaker  Lenthall  came  down,  and  gloomily  vanished.  They  all 
vanished ;  flooding  gloomily,  clamorously  out  to  their  respective  ulterior  business  and  re- 
spective places  of  abode.  The  "  Long  Parliament"  is  dissolved !  .  .  .  the  unspeakable 
catastrophe  has  come,— and  remains.— Carlyle  :  Cromwell's  Letters  and  Speeches. 

Princes  and  lords.  A  famous  sentiment  in  Goldsmith's  "Deserted 
Village"  runs  as  follows  : 

Princes  and  lords  may  flourish  or  may  fade, 
A  breath  can  make  them,  as  a  breath  has  made. 
But  a  bold  peasantry,  their  country's  pride, 
When  once  destroyed  can  never  be  supplied. 

The  thought  is  one  of  the  most  common  in  literature.  But  even  the  verbal 
vesture  in  which  it  is  clothed  has  been  traced  to  various  sources,  though  Gold- 


920  HANDY-BOOK  OF- 

smith  has  touched  it  with  the  magic  of  his  own  genius :  "  nihil  tetigit  quod 
non  ornavit." 

Thus,  Pope  had  said, — 

Who  pants  for  glory  finds  but  short  repose  : 
A  breath  revives  him,  or  a  breath  o'erthrows. 

Epistle  /.,  Book  ii. 

Still  closer  came  De  Caux,  who,  comparing  the  world  to  his  looking-glass, 
had  said, — 

C'est  un  verre  qui  luit, 
Qu'un  souffle  peut  detruire,  et  qu'un  souffle  a  produit. 
("  It  is  a  shining  glass,  which  a  breath  may  destroy,  and  which  a  breath  has  produced.") 
As  Goldsmith  borrowed,  so  he  was  borrowed  from  in  return.     Burns,  in 
the  "  Cotter's  Saturday  Night,"  has, — 

Princes  and  lords  are  but  the  breath  of  kings,^ 
"  An  honest  man's  the  noblest  work  of  God," 

the  last  line  being,  of  course,  a  quotation  from  Pope.  Burns  varies  the 
thought  in  another  of  his  poems  : 

A  prince  can  mak'  a  belted  knight, 

A  marquis,  duke,  and  a'  that, 
But  an  honest  man's  aboon  his  might : 
Guid  faith,  he  mauna  fa'  that. 

Burns's  words  were  anticipated  by  Wycherley  in  his  "  Plain  Dealer,"  Act 
i.,  Sc.  I  :  "  I  weigh  the  man,  not  his  title  ;  'tis  not  the  king's  stamp  can  make 
the  metal  better."  From  Wycherley  Sterne  probably  stole  it ;  for  when 
stealing  is  in  question,  the  presumption  is  always  against  Sterne.  "  Honors, 
like  impressions  upon  coin,  may  give  an  ideal  and  local  value  to  a  bit  of  base 
metal;  but  gold  and  silver  will  pass  all  the  world  over  without  any  other 
recommendation  than  their  own  weight,"  he  says  in  "  Tristram  Shandy." 

Now,  all  these  sayings,  so  different  in  form  but  so  alike  in  substance,  are 
but  illustrations  of  the  idea  to  which  Pope  has  given  these  words : 

Honor  and  shame  from  no  condition  rise  : 

Act  well  your  part,  there  all  the  honor  lies. 

The  Germans  express  it  in  the  proverb, — 

Edel  seyn  ist  gar  viel  mehr 
Als  adlig  seyn  von  den  Eltem  her, 
("  The  noble  in  himself  is  worth  much  more 
Than  the  mere  heir  of  such  as  lived  of  yore,") 

a  good  democratic  maxim,  in  substance  embodied  in  the  Declaration  of  Inde- 
pendence, and  as  old  as  human  nature.  We  find  it  in  one  form  or  other  in 
the  oldest  books, — the  Talmud,  for  instance,  where  it^  is  thus  expressed: 
"Not  the  place  honors  the  man,  but  the  man  the  place." 

Principiis  obsta  (L.,  "  Meet  the  begiimings"),  an  oft-quoted  phrase  from 
Ovid's  "Remedium  Amoris,"  line  91.  "Medicine,"  the  poet  adds,  in  explana- 
tion, "comes  too  late  when  the  evil  has  gained  strength  by  long  delay."  The 
French  have  an  analogous  expression  :  "  Ce  n'est  que  le  premier  pas  qui  coute" 
("It  is  only  the  first  "step  that  costs").  Madame  du  Deffand,  in  a  letter  to 
Horace  Walpole,  June  6,  1767,  relates  how  Cardinal  Polignac,  a  man  of  vast 
credulity,  told  her  the  old  story  of  the  martyrdom  of  St.  Denis,  who,  after 
decapitation,  walked  two  leagues  with  his  head  in  his  hand  to  the  spot  where 
his  church  was  afterwards  erected.  The  cardinal  laid  special  stress  on  the 
distance  traversed.  "  The  distance  is  nothing,"  quoth  Madame  ;  " 'tis  only 
the  first  step  that  costs"  ("  La  distance  n'y  fait  rien  ;  il  n'y  a  que  le  premier 
pas  qui  coilte"). 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  921 

We  shut  our  eyes  to  the  beginnings  of  evil  because  they  are  small,  and  in  this  weakness 
lies  the  germ  of  our  misfortune.  Principiis  obshi :  this  maxim  closely  followed  would  pre- 
serve us  from  almost  all  our  misfortunes. — Amiel:  Journal  Intiine,  ii.  76. 

We  must  be  w-..tchful,  especially  in  the  beginning  of  temptation,  because  then  the  enemy  is 
easier  overcome,  if  he  is  not  suffered  to  come  in  at  all  at  the  door  of  the  soul,  but  is  kept  out  and 
resisted  at  his  first  knock.  Whence  a  certain  man  said,"  Withstand  the  beginning  :  after- 
remedies  come  too  late." — Imitation  0/  Christ,  ch.  xiii.,  sec.  4. 

Prison.  When  Guildenstern  objects  to  Hamlet's  remark  that  Denmark 
is  a  prison,  the  prince  explains,  "There  is  nothing  either  good  or  bad  but 
thinking  makes  it  so:  to  me  it  is  a  prison."  (Act  ii.,  Sc.  2.)  In  Howel's 
"  Letters"  we  find  him  writing  from  his  prison  to  a  friend  in  France,  "  There 
is  a  wise  saying  in  the  country  where  you  sojourn  now,  'Ce  n'est  pas  la  place 
mais  la  pensee  qui  fait  la  prison,' "  which  is  exactly  Hamlet's  idea.  A  famous 
amplification  of  the  thought  occurs  in  the  fourth  stanza  of  Richard  Lovelace's 
poem  "  To  Althea  from  Prison  :" 

Stone  walls  do  not  a  prison  make. 

Nor  iron  bars  a  cage  ; 
Minds  innocent  and  quiet  take 

That  for  an  hermitage  ; 
If  I  have  freedom  in  my  love. 

And  in  my  soul  am  free. 
Angels  alone  that  soar  above 
Enjoy  such  liberty. 

Now,  there  is  a  curious  parallelism,  not  only  in  the  lines,  but  also  in  the  cir- 
cumstances of  their  composition,  with  the  following  by  the  contemporary 
French  poet  Pellisson : 

Doubles  grilles  i  gros  cloux. 
Triples  portes,  forts  verroux, 

Aux  ames  vraiment  mechantes 
Vous  representez  I'enfer; 

Mais  aux  ames  innocentes 
Vous  n'etes  que  du  bois,  du  fer. 

A  comparison  of  dates,  however,  proves  that  Lovelace  was  first  in  the  fie!d. 
He  was  imprisoned  by  the  Long  Parliament  in  1648,  and  died  in  1658.  Pel. 
lisson  was  not  sent  to  the  Bastile  until  1661,  and  wrote  his  lines  on  the  walls 
of  his  cell.  But  Lovelace  may  have  remembered  his  Shakespeare,  not  onlv 
the  passage  quoted  from  "  Hamlet,"  but  the  following  from  the  Sonnets  : 

Nor  stony  tower,  nor  walls  of  beaten  brass, 
Nor  airless  dungeon,  nor  strong  links  of  iron. 
Can  be  retentive  of  the  strength  of  spirit. 


Procrastination  is  the  thief  of  time.     This  is  line  393  of  the  first 
Night  of  Young's  "  Night  Thoughts."     The  context  runs  as  follows : 
Beware,  Lorenzo !  a  slow,  sudden  death. 
Be  wise  to-day,  'tis  madness  to  defer; 
Next  day  the  fatal  precedent  will  plead ; 
Thus  on,  till  wisdom  is  pushed  out  of  life. 
Procrastination  is  the  thief  of  time; 
Year  after  year  it  steals,  till  all  are  fled, 
And  to  the  mercies  of  a  moment  leaves 
The  vast  concerns  of  an  eternal  scene. 

There  is  a  reminiscence  here  of  Congreve's  lines, — 

Defer  not  till  to-morrow  to  be  wise  : 
To-morrow's  sun  to  thee  may  never  rise. 

Letter  to  Cobhatn. 

Proverbial  and  written  literature  are  full  of  similar  lessons:  "Delays  are 
dangerous,"  "  Strike  while  the  iron  is  hot,"  "  Take  time  by  the  forelock," — these 
proverbs  are  cosmopolitan.     "  Make  hay  while  the  sun  shines"  is  peculiarly 


922  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

English,  and  especially  appropriate  to  the  variable  climate  of  England.  Here 
are  a  few  more  proverbs  of  similar  application  : 

God  keep  vou  from  '  It  is  too  late.' — Spanish. 

When  the  fool  has  made  up  his  mind  the  market  has  gone  hy.—lbid. 

Stay  but  a  while,  you  lose  a  mile. —  Dutch. 

A  little  too  late,  much  too  late. — Ibid. 

Some  refuse  roast  meat  and  afterwards  long  for  the  smoke  of  H.— Italian. 

When  the  horse  has  been  stolen  the  fool  shuts  the  stable.— /'>f«cA. 

The  latter  may  also  be  found  in  Heywood's  "  Proverbs"  in  the  following 
form, — 

When  the  steed  is  stolne,  shut  the  stable  durre,— 
and  is  even  more  neatly  expressed  in  another  French  proverb,  "After  death 
the  doctor,"  parallel  to  the  ancient  Greek  Meru  nole/iov  ij  avfj/uaxia,  or  the 
Latin  "  Post  bellum,  auxilium"  ("  After  the  war  come  the  allies").  Quintiliaa 
quotes  the  latter,  and  he  further  asks,  "Quid  quod  medicina  mortuorutri  sera 
est?  Quid  quod  nemo  aquam  infundit  in  cineresi""  ("What  medicine  is 
good  for  the  dead  ?  Why  does  no  one  pour  water  ou  ashes  ?" — i.e.,  after  the 
house  has  been  burnt.) 

The  last  lines  credited  to  Swift,  written  in  a  lucid  moment  just  before  his 
death,  were  suggested  by  a  magazine  for  arms  and  powder  erected  in  Phoenix 
Park,  Dublin  : 

Behold  a  proof  of  Irish  sense  ! 

Here  Irish  wit  is  seen  : 
When  nothing's  left  for  our  defence. 
We  build  a  magazine. 


Dryden  says, — 
and  Shakespeare,- 


All  delays  are  dangerous  in  war, 

Tyrannic  Love,  Act  i.,  Sc.  i; 

Delays  have  dangerous  ends, 

Henry  VI.,  Fart  I.,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  2; 


—a  maxim  which  he  further  enforces  in  "  Macbeth  :" 

If  it  were  done  when  'tis  done,  then  'twere  well 
It  were  done  quickly. 

Act  i.,  Sc.  7. 

This  maxim  is  also  enforced  in  the  famous  Italian  proverb,  "  Cosa  fatta 
capo  ha,"  explained  by  Torriano  in  the  seventeenth  century  as  meaning  "A 
deed  done  has  an  end,"  by  Giusti  in  the  nineteenth  as  "  A  deed  done  has  a 
beginning  ;"  i.e.,  if  you  would  accomplish  anything  don't  stop  to  think  over 
it,  but  begin  at  once.  It  will  be  remembered  that  this  proverb  is  the  "  bad 
word"  to  which  Dante  attributes  the  origin  of  theGuelf  and  Ghibejline  feuds. 
When  Buondelmonte  broke  his  plighted  troth  to  a  maiden  of  the  Amadei 
family,  her  kinsmen  assembled  to  discuss  revenge.  Plan  after  plan  was  sug- 
gested. At  last  Mosca  Lamberti  cried  out,  "  Those  who  talk  much  do  nothing. 
Cosa  fatta  capo  ha  r  The  hint  was  enough.  Buondelmonte  was  murdered, 
and  Tuscany  was  plunged  into  a  civil  war. 

Prohibitionist.  A  political  party  of  one  idea, — the  prohibition  by  law  of 
the  sale  and  manufacture  of  intoxicating  drinks.  Neal  Dow,  of  Maine,  is 
prominent  as  the  organizer  of  its  earliest  campaigns.  Its  first  important  suc- 
cess was  the  enactment  of  the  Maine  Law  [q.  v.).  Since  1872  the  Prohibition- 
ists have  entered  the  field  of  national  politics.  Their  total  poll  in  the  whole 
country  in  that  year  was  5608  votes.     In  1888  they  polled  246,406. 

Property  is  theft  (Fr.,  "  La  propriete,  c'est  le  vol"),  the  maxim  an- 
nounced by  Proudhon  in  "Qu'est-ce  que  c'est  que  la  Propriete  i"'  published 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  923 

in  1840.  St.  Ambrose  had  taught  a  not  dissimilar  doctrine  :  "  Superfluum 
quod  tenes  tu  furaris"  ("The  superfluous  property  which  you  hold  you  have 
stolen").  And  only  half  a  century  before  Proudhon,  Brissot,  in  his  "  Philo- 
sophical Researches  on  the  Right  of  Property,"  had  written,  "  Exclusi\e  prop- 
erty is  a  robbery  in  nature."  The  phrase  itself  died  with  him,  when  Proud- 
hon resuscitated  it  by  endowing  it  with  the  soul  of  wit  in  the  catching 
phrase,  "  La  propriete,  c'est  le  vol."  Emerson  agrees  with  Proudhon : 
"  In  the  last  analysis  all  property  is  theft." 

Public  be  damned,  a  famous  phrase  attributed  to  William  K.  Vander- 
bilt  in  a  newspaper  interview  when  the  question  of  the  rights  of  the  public 
who  patronized  the  New  York  Central  Railroad  came  up  for  discussion.  It 
went  the  length  and  breadth  of  the  land,  and  greatly  increased  his  unpopu- 
larity with  the  masses.  A  very  similar  expression  became  equally  notorious 
a  century  and  a  half  earlier.  In  1730  an  ostensibly  charitable  organization 
was  established  in  London  to  lend  money  to  the  poor  on  pledges.  The 
managers  were  mainly  members  of  the  House  of  Commons.  The  scheme 
proved  to  be  so  ruinous  to  its  patrons  that  an  inquiry  was  instituted  by  Par- 
liament which  led  to  its  suppression.  Three  of  the  managers,  Bond,  Sutton, 
and  Grant,  were  expelled  from  the  House  of  Commons.  By  a  report  of  the 
commission  appointed  to  examine  into  the  matter,  it  appeared  that  when 
objection  had  once  been  made  to  an  intended  removal  of  the  office,  on  the 
score  that  the  poor,  for  whose  use  it  had  been  erected,  would  be  hurt.  Bond 
had  replied,  "  Damn  the  poor."  Pope  makes  a  reference  to  this  phrase  in 
his  "  Moral  Essays,"  Epistle  iii.,  1.  100  : 

Perhaps  you  think  the  poor  might  have  their  part? 

Bond  damns  the  poor,  and  hates  them  from  his  heart. 

The  grave  Sir  Gilbert  holds  it  for  a  rule 

That  every  man  in  want  is  knave  or  fool : 

"  God  cannot  love  (says  Blunt,  with  tearless  eyes) 

The  wretch  he  starves" — and  piously  denies  : 

But  the  good  bishop,  with  a  meeker  air. 

Admits,  and  leaves  them  Providence's  care. 

Public  ofQce  is  a  public  trust.  This  saying,  which  was  a  sort  of 
rallying-cry  of  the  civil  service  reformers  and  Mugwumps,  who  supported 
Grover  Cleveland  in  the  Presidential  campaign  of  1884,  has  frequently  been 
attributed  to  Cleveland  himself  But  though  the  sentiment  is  his,  the  words 
are  not.  Indeed,  so  far  back  as  May  31,  1872,  Charles  Sumner  said,  "The 
phrase  'public  office  is  a  public  trust'  has  of  late  become  common  property." 
Possibly  the  real  origin  may  be  traced  to  John  C.  Calhoun,  in  a  speech  made 
July  13,  1835  :  "The  very  essence  of  a  free  government  consists  in  consider- 
ing offices  as  public  trusts,  bestowed  for  the  good  of  the  country,  and  not  for 
the  benefit  of  an  individual  or  a  party." 

Pull  do^wn  your  vest,  an  American  colloquialism,  meaning,  originally, 
"Attend  to  your  own  business,"  but  now  used  as  a  mere  senseless  exclama- 
tion of  witlings.  It  comes  to  us  from  the  time  when  trousers  and  waistcoats 
were  alike  shorter  than  they  are  at  present,  and  when  a  wide  gap  of  linen 
shirt  induced  careful  mothers  or  wives,  or  discriminating  friends,  to  use  the 
adjuration  to  the  negligent.  The  phrase  soon  became  general,  and  for  a  time 
was  used  ad  ttauseam. 

Pun.  He  who  will  make  a  pun  will  pick  a  pocket.  This  is  usually 
quoted  as  a  saying  of  Dr.  Johnson's,  but  there  is  no  evidence  that  the  latter 
even  adopted  it.  John  Dennis,  the  critic,  seems  to  have  been  the  real  author, 
according  to  a  story  told  by  Benjamin  Victor,  treasurer  of  Drury  Lane 
Theatre,  in  an  epistle  to  Sir  Richard  Steele,  London,  1722,  when  Johnson 


924  HAA'DY-BOOK  OF 

was  a  boy  of  thirteen.  Dennis  met  Congreve  and  Daniel  Purcell,  famous  as 
a  punster,  in  a  tavern.  Purcell  wished  to  rid  himself  of  Dennis's  company, 
and  knew  nothing  would  be  more  effective  than  a  bad  pun.  He  pulled  the 
bell  and  called  without  an  answer.  Then,  putting  his  hand  under  the  table,  he 
said  to  Dennis,  "This  table  is  like  the  tavern."  "  How  so  ?"  asked  the  critic. 
*' Why,  because  there's  ne'er  a  drawer  in  it."  "Sir,"  cried  Dennis,  starting 
up,  "the  man  that  will  make  such  an  execrable  pun  in  my  company  will  pick 
my  pocket !"  and  so  left  the  room,  A  correspondent  of  Notes  and  Queries 
gives  the  Dr.  Johnson  story  with  much  particularity  of  detail  :  "  I  remember, 
many  years  ago,  reading  an  anecdote  of  Johnson's  dislike  to  punning,  and 
his  witty  rejoinder  to  an  observation  of  Bosvvell's  thereupon  ;  but  as  Notes 
and  Queries  had  then  no  existence,  I  did  not  *  make  a  note  on't,'  and  the 
source  of  the  anecdote  has  passed  away  from  my  memory.  The  story  was 
told  in  the  following  way  :  '  Sir,'  said  Johnson,  '  I  hate  a  pun.  A  man  who 
would  perpetrate  a  pun  would  have  little  hesitation  in  picking  a  pocket.' 
Upon  this,  Boswell  hinted  that  his  illustrious  friend's  dislike  to  this  species 
of  small  wit  might  arise  from  his  inability  to  play  upon  words.  '  Sir,'  roared 
Johnson,  'if  I  were  punish-ed  for  every  pun  I  shed,  there  would  not  be  left  a 
puny  shed  of  my  punnish  head.' " 

Punctuation.  Our  very  nursery  songs  impress  upon  us  the  value  of 
correct  punctuation.  Halliwell  in  his  "  Nursery  Rhymes"  gives  the  following 
riddle : 

Every  lady  in  this  land 
Has  twenty  nailsjupon  each  hand 
Five  and  twenty  on  hands  and  feet. 
All 'this  is  true  without  deceit. 

To  unriddle  the  above  you  have  merely  to  put  a  semicolon  after  "  nails"  in 
the  second  line,  and  a  comma  after  "  five"  in  the  third.  Here  are  two  varia- 
tions on  the  same  theme  which  have  also  come  down  to  us  from  Mother  Goose 
or  some  one  of  her  near  relatives  : 

I  saw  a  peacock^ with  a  fiery  tail 

I  saw  a  blazing  comet  pour  down  hail  * 

I  saw  a  cloud  all  wrapt  with  ivy  round 

I  saw  a  lofty  oak  creep  on  the  ground 

I  saw  a  beetle  swallow  up  a  whale 

I  saw  a  foaming  sea  brimful  of  ale 

I  saw  a  pewter  cup  sixteen  feet  deep 

I  saw  a  well  full  of  men's  tears  that  weep 

I  saw  wet  eyes  in  flames  of  living  fire 

I  saw  a  house  as  high  as  the  moon  and  higher 

I  saw  the  glorious  sun  at  deep  midnight 

I  saw  the  man  who  saw  this  wondrous  sight. 

I  saw  a  pack  of  cards  gnawing  a  bone 

I  saw  a  dog  seated  on  Britain's  throne 

I  saw  King  George  shut  up  within  a  box 

I  saw  an  orange  driving  a  fat  ox 

I  saw  a  butcher  not  a  twelvemonth  old 

I  saw  a  great-coat  all  of  solid  gold 

I  saw  two  buttons  telling  of  their  dreams 

I  saw  my  friends  who  wished  I'd  quit  these  themes. 

If  a  semicolon  be  placed  after  the  noun  in  each  line  except  the  last,  these 
absurd  jingles  will  be  resolved  into  sobriety. 

There  is  an  old  French  proverb  which  runs,  "  Faute  d'un  point  Martin 
perdit  son  ane"  ("Through  want  of  a  stop  Martin  lost  his  ass").  This  saying 
has  a  story  behind  it,  which  was  probably  invented  in  the  Middle  Ages  by 
some  whiiTisical  scribe  who  desired  to  impress  upon  his  pupils  the  importance 
of  punctuation,     A  priest  named  Martin  having  been  appointed  abbot  of  a 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  925 

religious  house  called  Asello  ("  the  Ass")  caused  this  inscription  to  be  placed 
over  the  gates  : 

Porta  patens  esto, 
Nulli  claudatur  honesto. 
("  Let  the  gate  stand  open,  to  no  honest  man  be  shut.") 

The  ignorant  brother  who  put  up  the  inscription  placed  the  comma  after 
nulli,  and  so  completely  altered  the  sense,  making  the  verse  read,  "  Gate  be 
thou  open  to  none,  be  shut  against  every  honest  man."  The  pojje,  learning 
of  this  uncharitable  inscription,  took  up  the  matter  seriously  and  deposed  the 
unlucky  abbot.  His  successor  was  careful  to  correct  the  punctuation  of  the 
verse,  to  which  the  following  line  was  added  :  "  Pro  solo  puncto  caruit  Martinus 
Asello"  {"  For  a  single  stop  Martin  lost  Asello").  The  abbey  disappeared, 
the  proverb  remained,  and,  the  word  Asello  being  misunderstood,  we  have  the 
French  saying  referred  to. 

Again,  there  is  the  more  or  less  apocryphal  story  of  the  man  who,  wishing 
to  learn  if  it  would  be  safe  for  him  to  go  to  battle,  received  this  answer  from 
the  oracle  :  "  Ibis  redibis  non  morieris  in  bello."  If  you  put  a  comma  after 
redibis  the  translation  is,  "You  will  go,  you  will  return,  you  will  not  die  in 
battle  ;"  but  if  you  put  the  comma  after  tion,  you  get,  "You  will  go,  you  will 
return  not,  you  will  die  in  battle."  But,  as  the  ancients  had  only  a  very  rudi- 
mentary system  of  punctuation,  the  decision  depended  rather  upon  vocal  stress 
than  upon  written  symbols.  Shakespeare  knew  the  value  of  correct  punctu- 
ation, and  in  his  "Midsummer  Night's  Dream,"  Act  v.,  Sc.  i,  he  causes  the 
actor  to  make  sad  "  pi"  of  the  prologue  which  he  had  been  appointed  to  de- 
liver, by  persistent  misplacing  of  stops.  Even  yet  the  commentators  have  not 
decided  upon  the  punctuation,  and  therefore  upon  the  meaning,  of  the  famous 
phrase  "  the  beginning  of  the  end"  (see  under  End,  The  Beginning  of  the), 
which  occurs  in  this  very  prologue.  Other  famous  disputed  passages  depend 
for  their  interpretation  upon  the  correct  placing  of  a  comma  or  a  period. 
Take  the  two  lines  addressed  by  Cleopatra  to  the  messenger  who  had  brought 
her  news  of  Antony's  marriage  to  Octavia.     The  folio  gives  them  thus  : 

O  that  his  fault  should  make  a  knave  of  thee. 
That  art  not  what  thou'rt  sure  of!     Get  thee  hence. 

Antony  and  Cleopatra,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  5. 

S.Qme  commentators  profess  to  see  no  difficulty  here.  "Nothing,"  says  one, 
"can  be  clearer  than  that  she  is  separating  the  man  from  the  office.  The 
sense  is  obtained  by  these  two  sim])le  equations,  'thee,  that  art  not' =  the 
innocent  messenger,  'what  thou'rt  sure  of '  =  the  offending  message.  The 
sense  is, '  thou  that  art  not  to  be  confounded  with  thy  foul  message,  yet  seemest 
to  be  tarred  with  the  same  brush.'"  But  Steevens,  Keightley,  and  others 
would  change  the  punctuation  of  the  second  line  thus : 

That  art  not !     What  ?  thou'rt  sure  of  't  ?     Get  thee  hence. 

Undoubtedly  the  sense  is  much  simplified  by  this  alternate  reading. 

Another  instance  is  afforded  in  the  passage  in  "Macbeth,"  Act  v.,  Sc.  S, 
which  Forrest,  contrary  to  all  precedent,  used  to  read  thus  : 

Hang  out  our  banners.     On  the  outer  walls 
The  cry  is  still.  They  come. 

Perhaps  the  most  astonishing  bit  of  emended  punctuation  that  ever  was 
suggested  is  by  Fredericka  Beardsley  Gilchrist  in  her  "True  Story  of  Hamlet 
and  Ophelia."     She  truly  says, — 

"  It  seems  to  me  the  theory  I  advance  destroys  all  other  theories.  For  nearly 
three  hundred  years  it  has  been  possible  to  misunderstand,  not  special  passages 
only,  but  the  fundamental  intention  of  the  play ;  during  that  time  no  satisfac- 
7S 


926  IIANDY-BOOK  OF 

tory  explanation  of  all  its  obscurities  has  been  advanced.     I  believe  this  theory 
explains  them."     And  what  is  the  theory  ?     It  all  lies  in  the  following  lines  : 

O  all  you  host  of  heaven  !     O  earth  !  what  else  ? 

And  shall  I  couple  hell  ?     O  fie  ! 

It  seems  that  the  punctuation  is  wrong.     The  last  line  should  read, — 
And  shall  I  couple  ?     Hell !     O  fie  ! 

"  We  know,"  says  the  author,  "  that  no  fault  was  more  common  than  the  in- 
terchange or  omission  of  ?  and  ! ;  and  this  I  believe  is  what  Shakespeare  wrote." 

How  simple  and  beautiful  !  The  bearing  of  this  remarkable  emendation 
maybe  best  judged  by  recalling  the  circumstances  under  which  Hamlet  utters 
the  words.  The  ghost  has  just  left  him,  after  revealing  the  full  extent  of  his 
mother's  frailty.  "  Heavens  and  earth  !"  cries  Hamlet,  quite  in  the  maimer 
of  the  modern  tough.     "And  after  this  shall  I  also  marry.-'     Hell !     No  !" 

He  at  once  gives  up  his  love  for  Ophelia,  and  thus,  his  young  life  being 
devastated,  the  rest  of  his  history  is  as  clear  as  moonshine.  The  entire  text  is 
gone  over,  scene  by  scene,  and  it  is  clear  to  the  author  that  there  are  no  ditfi- 
culties  which  do  not  disappear  before  the  formula  of  "shall  I  couple,"  etc. 

The  importance  of  a  comma  has  often  been  tested  in  law. 

One  of  the  most  expensive  blunders  ever  made  in  the  legislation  of  the 
United  States  was  also  one  of  the  most  apparently  insignificant. 

The  misplacement  of  a  comma  cost  the  government  just  about  two  millions 
of  dollars. 

The  blunder  occurred  in  a  tariff  bill  more  than  twenty  years  ago.  There 
was  a  section  enumerating  what  articles  should  be  admitted  free  of  duty. 
Among  the  many  articles  specified  were  "all  foreign  fruit-plants,"  etc.,  mean- 
ing plants  for  transplanting,  propagation,  or  experiment.  The  enrolling  clerk, 
in  copying  the  bill,  accidentally  changed  the  hyphen  in  the  compound  word 
"  fruit-plants"  to  a  comma,  making  it  read,  "All  foreign  fruit,  plants,"  etc. 
The  consequence  was  that  for  a  year,  until  Congress  could  remedy  the  blunder, 
all  oranges,  lemons,  bananas,  grapes,  and  other  foreign  fruits  were  admitted 
free  of  duty. 

Another  instructive  case  occurred  in  France.  This  turned  on  the  question 
whether  a  small  spot  of  ink  was  or  was  not  a  comma,  or,  rather,  an  apostro- 
phe. On  the  solution  of  this  apparently  trivial  question  depended  the  disposal 
of  some  forty  thousand  dollars.  And  here  are  the  particulars.  But  first  we 
must  ask  the  reader  to  rub  up  his  French  a  little,  and  to  recall  to  his  memory 
the  meaning  of  certain  short  words  in  that  language. 

A  French  gentleman  made  a  will  in  which,  among  other  bequests,  he  left 
handsome  sums  of  money  to  his  two  nephews,  Charles  and  Henri.  The  sums 
were  equal  in  amount.  When  the  testator  died  and  the  will  came  to  be 
proved,  the  nephews  expected  to  receive  two  hundred  thousand  francs  each 
as  their  specific  bequests.  But  the  executors  disputed  this,  and  said  that  each 
legacy  was  for  one  hundred  thousand  francs. 

The  legatees  pointed  to  the  word  deux. 

"  No,"  said  the  executors,  "  there  is  a  comma  or  apostrophe  between  the 
</and  the  e,  making  it  cTeiex.'^ 

"Not  so,"  rejoined  Charles  and  Henri  ;  " that  is  only  a  little  blot  of  ink, 
having  nothing  to  do  with  the  actual  writing." 

Let  us  put  the  two  interpretations  in  ju.xUposition  : 

A  chacun  deux  cent  mill es  francs. 

A  chacun  d'eux  cent  tnilles  francs. 

The  first  form  means,  "  To  each  two  hundred  thousand  francs,"  whereas 
the  other  has  the  very  different  meaning,  "To  each  of  them  a  hundred  thou- 
sand francs."     This  little  mark  (')  made  all  the  difference. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  927 

The  paper  had  been  folded  before  the  ink  was  dry.  A  few  spots  of  ink  had 
been  transposed  from  one  side  of  the  fold  to  the  other,  and  the  question  was 
whetiier  the  apparent  or  supposed  apostrophe  was  one  such  spot. 

The  legatees  had  very  strong  reasons — two  hundred  thousand  strong— for 
wishing  that  the  little  spot  of  ink  should  be  proved  merely  a  blot ;  but  their 
opponents  had  equally  strong  reasons  for  wishing  that  the  blot  should  be  ac- 
cepted as  an  apostrophe,  an  intended  and  component  element  in  the  writing. 

The  decision  was  in  favor  of  the  legatees,  but  was  only  reached  after  long 
and  expensive  litigation. 

There  is  a  legend  of  a  Dublin  criminal  trial  wherein  the  prisoner's  fate 
hung  upon  a  question  of  punctuation.  He  was  accused  of  robbery.  The 
principal  evidence  against  him  was  a  confession  alleged  to  have  been  made  by 
him  and  taken  down  in  writing  by  a  police-officer.  And  this  was  the  incrim- 
inating passage  : 

Mangan  said  he  never  robbed  but  twice  said  it  was  Crawford. 

The  officer  explained  that  the  meaning  he  attached  to  it  was,  "  Mangan  said 
he  never  robbed  but  twice.  Said  it  was  Crawford."  "  Nay,"  cried  Mr. 
O'Gorman,  the  prisoner's  counsel,  after  a  careful  examination  of  the  docu- 
ment, "this  is  the  fair  and  obvious  reading  ?  'Mangan  said  he  never  robbed  ; 
but  twice  said  it  was  Crawford.'  "  This  explanation  had  its  effect  on  the  jury, 
and  the  man  was  acquitted. 

Recently  the  London  Journal  of  Education  told  an  amusing  story  in  point. 
A  Prussian  school  inspector  appeared  at  the  office  of  the  burgomaster  of  a 
little  town,  asking  him  to  join  in  a  tour  of  inspection  through  the  schools. 
The  burgomaster,  rather  out  of  sorts,  was  heard  to  mutter  to  himself,  "  What 
is  this  donkey  here  again  for?" 

The  inspector  said  nothing,  but  bided  his  time,  and  with  the  unwilling  burgo- 
master set  out  on  his  tour.  At  the  first  school  he  announced  his  wish  to  see 
how  well  punctuation  was  taught. 

"  Oh,  never  mind  that,"  said  the  burgomaster.  "  We  care  naught  for  com- 
mas and  such  trifles." 

But  the  inspector  sent  a  boy  to  the  blackboard,  and  ordered  him  to  write, 
"The  burgomaster  of  R says,  the  inspector  is  a  donkey." 

Then  he  ordered  him  to  transpose  the  comma,  placing  it  after  R ,  and 

to  insert  another  one  after  inspector,  and  the  boy  wrote,  "The  burgomaster 
of  R ,  says  the  inspector,  is  a  donkey." 

It  was  a  cruel  lesson,  but  it  is  reasonable  to  suppose  that  commas  and  such 
trifles  rose  in  the  estimation  of  the  refractory  official. 

A  curious  and  rather  painful  blunder  occurred  in  1891.  The  Bishop  of 
Adelaide,  South  Australia,  found  what  he  thought  was  the  carcass  of  a  sea- 
serpent  at  Avoid  Point,  near  Coffin  Bay.  Straightway  the  story  vyas  flashed 
over  to  England  as  part  of  a  general  news  cablegram.  And  this  is  how  it 
read:  "Influenza  extensively  prevalent  Wales  Victoria  numerous  deaths 
Bishop  Adelaide  found  dead  Sea-serpent  sixty  feet  Coffin  Bay."  It  will  be 
admitted  that  the  Angel  of  Death  seems  to  hover  about  this  sentence  from 
one  end  to  the  other.  Yet  that  hardly  excuses  the  error  of  the  news  agents, 
who,  as  they  afterwards  confessed,  •'  read  the  last  six  words  as  a  separate 
sentence,  and,  judging  that  it  was  not  suitable  to  the  Times,  omitted  it." 
Consequently,  the  religious  world  was  pained  to  hear  of  the  death  of  an  ex- 
cellent ecclesiastic.  Not  for  some  days  was  the  truth  discovered.  The 
Saturday  Review,  commenting  in  its  usual  caustic  vein  on  the  mistake,  said 
very  pertinently  that,  even  taking  the  news  agents' own  account  of  the  matter, 
one  would  have  expected  them  to  be  rather  surprised  by  the  words  "  found 
dead." 


928  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

"  Bishops  are  not  generally  '  found  dead,'  but  die — when  they  cannot 
help  it — in  a  decorous  manner,  and  in  the  presence  of  witnesses.  And  what 
on  earth  did  they  understand  by  the  '  last  six  words'  taken  separately  ?  Did 
they  suppose  that  a  sea-serpent  had  come  within  sixty  feet  of  Coffin  Bay,  or 
had  devastated  sixty  feet  of  the  shore,  or  that  a  sea-serpent  with  sixty  feet 
had  invaded  that  cheerfully-named  locality  ?  '  Sea-serpent  sixty  feet  Coffin 
Bay'  seems,  on  the  face  of  it,  about  as  unintelligible  a  'separate  sentence'  as 
one  could  well  imagine.  And  yet  one  cannot  help  admiring  the  discretion 
of  those  who  'judged'  that  any  mention  of  a  sixty-footed  sea-serpent,  or  a 
sea-serpent  indefinitely  connected  with  twenty  yards  and  with  Coffin  Bay, 
was  '  not  suitable  for'  the  austere  dignity  of  the  Times."  And  then  the  Satur- 
day goes  on  to  imagine  cases  in  which  this  method  of  reading  telegrams,  if 
generally  adopted,  might  be  productive  of  interesting  results.  "  Suppose, 
for  instance,  that  a  South  African  correspondent  telegraphed,  '  Weather  sul- 
try Rhodes  gone  hunting  Randolph  Churchill  hung  hat  on  nose  of  living 
lion.'  Read  the  last  six  words  as  a  separate  sentence,  and  you  have  matter 
for  a  hundred  special  editions.  Or,  if  you  received  from  Chester,  'Serious 
carriage  accident  Osborne  Morgan  kicked  Gladstone  received  deputation 
local  branch  Liberation  Society,'  what  would  your  feelings  be  when  you  had 
omitted  the  last  six  words  ?  While  a  telegram  from  the  southern  part  of  the 
principality  might  be  conceived  in  this  wise  :  'County  meeting  Select  Candi- 
date Carmarthen  twenty  thousand  electors  unanimously  voted  Lewis  Morris 
no  poet  yet  appointed  compose  congratulatory  ode  Eisteddfodd.' " 

That  punctuation  is  a  perilous  matter  to  trifle  with  is  further  instanced  by 
Dean  Alford.  In  his  "  Queen's  English"  he  indulges  in  a  strain  of  self-gratu- 
lation.  "  I  have  some  satisfaction,"  he  says,  "in  reflecting,  that  in  the  course 
of  editing  the  Greek  text,  I  believe  I  have  destroyed  more  than  a  thousand 
commas,  which  prevented  the  text  from  being  properly  understood."  It  is 
amusing  enough  to  notice  that  in  a  passage  where  the  writer  was  denouncing 
the  redundant  use  of  commas,  at  the  very  word  commas  he  inserted  a  re- 
dundant comma,  "  which,"  to  quote  the  phrase  immediately  following  it, 
"prevented  the  text  from  being  properly  understood."  Of  course,  the  dean's 
meaning  is  clear  enough.  In  the  Greek  text  there  were  more  than  a  thou- 
sand commas  which  prevented  the  text  from  being  properly  understood,  and 
he  had  destroyed  them.  But  his  own  redundant  point  after  the  word  commas 
plainly  makes  him  say  that  he  prevented  the  text  from  being  understood  by 
destroying  more  than  one  thousand  commas.  There  is  another  redundant 
comma  in  the  passage,  after  the  word  reflecting,  which  is  only  worthy  of  note, 
however,  as  occurring  in  a  lecture  addressed  to  careless  people  against  the 
too  free  use  of  commas. 

Punic  Faith,  treachery,  a  term  of  reproach  by  which  the  Romans  char- 
acterized the  alleged  breaking  of  treaties  by  their  Punic  or  Carthaginian 
adversaries.  In  truth,  however,  it  would  be  difficult  to  find  in  all  history  a 
more  crying  instance  of  the  pot  calling  the  kettle  black. 

Puns  and  Punning.  Is  a  pun  admirable,  is  it  justifiable  only  in  extreme 
cases,  or  is  it  always,  and  under  all  circumstances,  execrable  and  unfit  for 
decent  society  .'  'Twere  a  brave  man  or  a  foolish  who  would  undertake  to 
decide.  Great  authorities  have  ranged  themselves  on  all  sides  of  this  dis- 
puted question.  Yet  if  the  weight  of  authority  is  to  decide,  then,  indeed,  the 
pun  is  invulnerable.  It  was  old  and  respected  in  the  time  of  the  Pythoness. 
It  is  found  in  Homer  and  in  the  Bible,  the  Old  Testament  as  well  as  the 
New.  It  was  known  to  Pericles  and  to  Cicero  under  the  more  dignified  title 
of  paronomasia.  The  spacious  halls  of  Queen  Elizabeth  resounded  with  it. 
Shakespeare  never  loses  a  chance  at  a  verbal  quibble.     Milton  in  "  Paradise 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  929 

Lost"  makes  Lucifer  and  Belial  discharge  a  volley  of  bad  puns — truly  in- 
fernal engines — against  the  angels  of  the  Lord.  Petrarch  punned  incessantly 
on  the  name  of  Laura.  Aristophanes,  Rabelais,  Erasmus,  Swift,  Lamb,  Hooa, 
Moore,  all  punned  away  pyrotechnically.  Nor  is  this  all.  The  gravest  of 
moralists,  the  most  solemn  of  divines,  the  austerest  of  philosophers,  loved  a 
pun, — Plato  and  Aristotle,  Sophocles  and  Euripides,  Julian  the  Apostate, 
St.  Gregory,  Sir  Thomas  More,  Cotton  Mather,  Jeremy  Bentham  :  the  list 
could  be  extended  almost  indefinitely.  These  names,  however,  will  suffice  to 
show  that  the  pun  has  an  august  genealogy  ;  that  it  has  kept  good  company  ; 
that  it  should  be  treated  with  consideration. 

And  who  are  the  rash  ones  that  have  raised  their  voices  against  the  pun  ? 
Few  of  them,  to  say  truth,  can  be  numbered  among  the  great  ones  of  the 
earth.  Yet  many  are  eminent  enough.  They  are  not  opponents  to  be  de- 
spised. They  number  such  names  as  Dryden,  Addison,  Dr.  Johnson,  Sydney 
Smith,  and  Oliver  Wendell  Holmes.  Let  us  see  what  they  have  to  say  for 
themselves. 

Dryden  merely  indulges  in  a  sneer,  without  attempting  argument : 

The  head  and  heart  were  never  lost  of  those 

Who  dealt  in  doggerel  or  who  punned  in  prose. 

"Who  can  refute  a  sneer?"  We  pass  by  Glorious  John  and  go  on  to 
Addison.  He  lays  down  the  rule  that  nothing  is  true  wit  which  cannot  be 
translated  into  another  language.  Puns  cannot  be  translated,  therefore  they 
are  not  true  wit.  The  syllogism  is  not  a  happy  one,  and  the  premises  might 
readily  be  denied.  But  for  the  sake  of  argument  let  us  accept  Addison's  rule. 
There  is  Killigrew's  jest,  for  example.  He  proposes  to  make  a  pun  on  any 
subject.  "Make  one  on  me,"  quoth  King  Charles.  "Ah,  the  king  is  no 
subject."  Try  that  in  French,  "  Le  roi  n'est  pas  un  sujet,"  try  it,  in  fact,  in 
most  modern  languages,  and,  like  a  bishop,  it  loses  nothing  by  translation. 
Sydney  Smith,  himself  an  enemy  of  the  pun,  approvingly  reproduces  from 
Voltaire  a  remark  that  "  the  adjective  is  the  greatest  enemy  of  the  substantive, 
though  it  agrees  with  it  in  gender,  number,  and  case."  The  point  of  the 
antithesis  is  as  plain  a  pun  as  ever  skipped  on  two  legs.  A  gentleman  who 
squinted  asked  Talleyrand  at  a  certain  critical  juncture  how  things  were 
going  :  "  Mais,  comme  vous  voyez,  monsieur"  ("  Why,  as  you  see,  sir").  Good 
English  again.  And  not  only  that,  but  precisely  the  same  joke  is  written  in 
excellent  Greek  by  Hierocles.  A  one-eyed  doctor  greeted  a  patient  with 
"  How  are  you  T  "  As  you  see,"  replied  the  latter.  "  Then,"  said  the  phy- 
sician, "if  you  are  as  I  see,  you  are  half  dead." 

Another  pun  attributed  to  Talleyrand  is  not  only  translatable,  but  is  even 
better  in  English  than  in  French.  During  the  days  when  the  arrogant 
soldiery  affected  to  despise  all  civilians,  he  asked  of  Marshal  Augereau  the 
meaning  oi peqiiin,  a  newly-coined  slang  word  for  scoundrel.  "  Nous  appelons 
peqiiin"  ■vi'i&  the  answer,  "  tout  ce  qui  n'est  pas  militaire"  ("  We  call  every 
one  who  is  not  a  soldier  Apeqimi^).  "  Exactly,"  was  Talleyrand's  retort,  "  as  we 
call  every  one  a  soldier  who  is  not  civil"  ("  Eh  oui !  comme  nous  autres  nous 
appelons  militaire  tout  ce  qui  n'est  pas  civil"). 

A  beautiful  girl  was  attending  the  lectures  of  a  Greek  philosopher.  A 
grain  of  dust  flew  into  her  eye.  She  begged  the  professor's  aid  for  its  re- 
moval, and  as  he  stooped  to  the  gallant  task  some  one  cried,  "  Do  not  spoil 
the  pupil"  (M^  TTjv  Koprjv  dtaipdelprig").  A  man  ploughed  up  the  field  where  his 
father  was  buried.  "This  is  truly,"  said  Cicero,  "to  cultivate  a  father's 
memory"  ("  Hoc  est  vere  colere  monumentum  patris").  In  each  of  these 
cases  the  pun  is  as  good  in  one  language  as  in  another. 

Dr.  Johnson  was  not  indeed  guilty  of  the  alliterative  antithesis  between 
the  punster  and  the  pickpocket  that  has  so  frequently  been  charged  against 
m  78* 


930  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

him  (see  page  923).  Nevertheless,  he  did  not  like  a  pun.  He  looked  grimly 
askance  on'it,  as  an  elephant  may  be  supposed  to  look  on  the  grimaces  and 
vivacity  of  a  monkey.  He  would  not  even  take  any  pains  to  hunt  up  the 
etymology  of  that  little  word  ;  he  recklessly  imagined  that  it  meant  to  pound 
or  to  pummel,  having  in  mind,  very  probably,  the  energetic  practice  of  Punch 
with  respect  to  his  consort.  A  little  knowledge  of  French  would  have  served 
the  doctor,  and  taught  him  that/?<«  is  only  the  English  mode  of  transferring 
the  Gallic  point  into  the  vernacular.  Our  words  point  and  pun  are,  in  fact, 
the  same,  only  the  latter  received  its  present  shape  by  reason  of  coming  in 
through  the  nose  at  a  later  period.  Still,  the  doctor  did  not  disdain  to  pun. 
A  very  good  one  is  credited  to  him.  At  the  library  of  St.  Andrews  he  in- 
quired whether  they  possessed  a  certain  book.  "  No,  sir,"  was  the  reply  ; 
"it  is  a  very  expensive  work,  and  beyond  the  means  at  our  command." 
"Oh,"  said  the  doctor,  "you'll  get  it  by  degrees;"  alluding  to  the  custom 
which  then  prevailed  of  selling  degrees.  And  both  Sydney  Smith  and  Dr. 
Oliver  Wendell  Holmes  have  weakened  the  value  of  their  testimony  against 
the  pun  by  producing  excellent  specimens  themselves.  In  the  "Autocrat  of 
the  Breakfast-Table"  the  latter  lays  down  the  peremptory  law  that  "  Homicide 
and  verbicide — that  is,  violent  treatment  of  a  word  with  fatal  results  to  its 
legitimate  meaning,  which  is  its  life — are  alike  forbidden  ;"  and  then  he  goes 
on  to  make  three  pages  of  clever  puns  just  to  show  what  an  extremely  repre- 
hensible practice  it  is. 

When  Henry  Erskine  was  told  that  punning  is  the  lowest  form  of  wit,  he 
made  the  admirable  retort,  "It  is,  and  therefore  the  foundation  of  all  wit." 
Elia,  whose  favorite  diversion  was  "Lamb-punning,"  to  repeat  his  own  jest, 
defends  the  practice  on  higher  grounds:  "A  pun  is  a  noble  ^^\\x\^  per  se ;  it 
is  entire,  and  fills  the  mind  ;  it  is  as  perfect  as  a  sonnet." 

If  ever  a  pun  is  indefensible  it  is  when  made  upon  a  patronymic.  The  poor 
man  born  with  a  punnable  name  suffers  untold  agony  against  which  he  is  ab- 
solutely defenceless.  When  Mr.  Garrison  has  been  told  for  the  hundredth 
time  to  hold  the  fort,  when  Mr.  Younghusband  for  the  thousandth  time  has 
been  twitted  on  the  fact  that  he  is  an  old  bachelor,  when  Mr.  Archer  has  been 
repeatedly  warned  not  to  draw  the  long  bow,  when  Mr.  Mingle  has  had  quoted 
to  him  with  wearisome  iteration  the  lines  of  Shakespeare, — 
Mingle,  mingle,  mingle, 
He  that  mingle  may, — 

it  would  be  justifiable  homicide  in  any  of  these  gentlemen  to  slay  their  op- 
pressors. 

"  When  the  Rev.  Mr.  Ingersol,  a  Unitarian  minister  of  Burlington,  Ver- 
mont," so  says  the  poet  Saxe  in  Harper's  Magazine,  "  remarked  to  Mr.  Has- 
well,  one  of  his  parishioners,  that  his  name  would  be  as  well  without  the  H, 
the  latter  was  delighted  with  the  pun  ;  but  imagine  the  gentleman's  weariness 
and  disgust  when  (the  joke  having  got  abroad)  everybody  in  town  repeated 
the  pun  in  his  ear,  either  as  original  or  borrowed,  until  the  unlucky  victim 
wished  the  whole  tribe  of  punsters  in  perdition." 

Nevertheless,  the  oldest  extant  pun  is  probably  the  execrable  one  in  Ho- 
mer's "Odyssey,"  where  Ulysses,  being  questioned  by  his  Cyclopean  captor 
as  to  his  name,  answers,  "Outis"  ("No  One").  When  Ulysses,  during  the 
night,  sears  the  eye  of  the  Cyclops,  he  succeeds  in  making  good  his  escape 
because  the  Cyclops  informs  his  brethren,  who  eagerly  inquire  what  has  hap- 
pened, that  No  One  has  hurt  him.  Another  poet,  Shakespeare,  who  was  a 
humorist  also,  has  spoiled  the  excellent  scene  where  Falstaff  examines  his 
pressed  men,  by  the  paltry  trick  of  giving  them  names  which  the  fat  knight 
could  twist  into  puns.  Thus,  Mouldy  is  told  that  it  is  time  he  was  used  ; 
Shadow,  that  he  would  make  a  cold  soldier,  but  would  serve  for  summer ; 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  93 1 

Wart,  that  he  is  a  ragged  wart ;  and  Bullcalf  extorts  the  exclamation,  "  Prick 
me  Bullcalf  till  he  roar  again."  Nor  is  there  any  considerable  humor  in  the 
way  in  which  Falstaff  plays  upon  the  name  of  his  swaggering  agent :  "  No 
more,  Pistol ;  I  would  not  have  you  go  off  here.  Discharge  yourself  of  our 
company,  Pistol." 

Even  some  of  the  great  dramatist's  serious  scenes  are  spoiled  by  the  intru- 
sion of  unworthy  quibbling  on  names.  Thus,  Northumberland  receives  the 
news  of  his  son's  death  at  Shrewsbury  in  this  wise  : 

Said  he,  young  Harry  Percy's  spur  was  cold? 
Of  Hotspur,  Coldspur? 

The  dying  old  soldier  John  o'  Gaunt  might  well  excite  the  wonderment  of 
his  nephew  when  he  gasped, — 

Old  Gaunt,  indeed  ;  and  Gaunt  in  being  old ; 
Within  me  grief  hath  kept  a  tedious  fast : 
And  who  abstains  from  meat  that  is  not  gaunt  ? 
For  sleeping  England  long  time  have  I  watched ; 
Watching  breeds  leanness,  leanness  is  all  gaunt. 
The  pleasure  that  some  fathers  feed  upon 
Is  my  strict  fast, — I  mean  my  children's  looks; 
•  And  therein  fasting,  hast  thou  made  me  gaunt. 

Gaunt  am  I  for  the  grave,  gaunt  as  a  grave. 
Whose  hollow  womb  inherits  naught  but  bones. 

But  what  better  can  be  expected  at  a  time  when  even  royalty  punned  upon 
the  throne  .'' — when  Queen  Elizabeth,  who  was  a  woman  of  brains,  thought  it 
witty  to  make  such  a  play  upon  words  as  "  Ye  be  burly,  my  Lord  of  Burghley, 
but  ye  shall  make  less  stir  in  my  realm  than  my  Lord  of  Leicester,"  and  when 
James  L  disgraced  his  title  of  the  British  Solomon  by  saying  to  Sir  Walter 
Raleigh,  "  By  my  saul,  maun,  I  have  heard  but  rawly  of  thee"  .''  Good  King 
Robert  L  of  France,  who  married  the  irritable  and  jealous  Constantia  after 
his  divorce  from  Bertha,  may  indeed  be  excused  for  a  harmless  jest  upon 
Constantia's  name.  He  loved  to  sing  hymns  to  his  lyre,  and  his  wife  fre- 
quently importuned  him  to  write  a  hymn  in  her  honor.  At  last,  in  mild  ex- 
asperation, he  wrote  his  hymn  "O  Constantia  Martyrum"  ("  O  Constancy  of 
Martyrs"),  which  she  mistook  for  an  ode  in  her  honor  because  the  name 
Constantia  was  repeated  at  the  commencement  of  each  strophe. 

Let  us  be  just,  however.  Some  of  the  very  best  puns  in  the  language  are 
upon  names.     Their  goodness  must  be  their  excuse  for  their  discourtesy. 

Foote  made  rather  a  neat  hit  at  the  Boniface  who  had  overcharged  him. 
"  What  is  your  name  .?"  asked  the  comedian.  "  Partridge,  sir,"  said  the  host. 
"Partridge!  it  should  have  been  Woodcock,  by  the  length  of  your  bill." 
There  was  something  melancholy  about  the  jest  of  poor  Dr.  Thomas  Browne, 
who,  having  unsuccessfully  courted  a  lady,  and  being  challenged  to  drink  her 
health  as  had  been  his  wont,  replied,  "I  have  toasted  her  many  years,  but  I 
cannot  make  her  Browne,  so  I'll  toast  her  no  longer."  When  Dr.  Barton 
Warren  was  informed  that  Dr.  Vowel  was  dead,  he  exclaimed,  "  What  ! 
Vowel  dead  .''  Well,  thank  heaven  it  was  neither  you  nor  L"  Moore  was 
not  above  punning  upon  his  own  name.  Thus,  he  would  deduce  his  geneal- 
ogy from  Noah  in  the  following  manner  :  "  Noah  had  three  sons,  Shem,  Ham, 
and  one  more."  Which  reminds  us  that  when  Manners,  Earl  of  Rutland, 
said  to  Sir  Thomas  More,  "  Honores  mutant  mores,"  the  Chancellor  retorted, 
"  It  stands  better  in  English:  Honors  change  manners."  The  same  names 
were  cleverly  played  u[)on  in  the  following  lines,  which  commemorate  the  fact 
that  Dr.  Manners  Sutton  had  succeeded  Archbishop  More  : 
What  say  you?  The  archbishop's  dead? 
A  loss  indeed.  Oh,  on  his  head 
May  heaven  its  blessings  pour; 


932  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

But  if  with  such  a  heart  and  mind 
In  Manners  we  his  equal  find. 
Why  should  we  wish  for  More? 

Sydney^mith  paid  a  double  compliment  to  Mrs.  Tighe  and  Mrs.  Cuffe 
when  he  exclaimed,  "  Ah,  there  you  are,  the  Cuffe  that  every  one  would  wear, 
the  Tighe  that  no  one  would  loose."  When  Luttrell,  in  talking  of  the 
Eumelian  Club  of  which  Ashe  was  the  founder,  was  told  that  a  son  of  that 
Ashe  was  at  present  chairman,  he  quoted,  "  Still  in  its  ashes  live  their  wonted 
fires," — which  was  not  a  very  merry  jest,  yet  quite  as  good  as  one  that  Dr. 
Swift  declared  he  would  have  given  fifty  pounds  to  have  made  himself. 
Swift's  friend  Dr.  Ash,  soon  after  the  passing  of  an  act  for  the  protection  of 
growing  timber,  had  asked  a  waiter  at  an  inn  to  help  him  off  with  his  coat. 
The  man  refused,  saying  that  it  was  felony  to  strip  an  ash.  Rather  better 
was  Sydney  Smith's  suggestion  to  the  lady  who  asked  him  for  a  motto  for  her 
dog  Spot.  He  immediately  proposed,  "  Out,  damned  Spot!"  And  his  jest 
at  the  expense  of  Mrs.  Grote  had  at  least  the  salt  of  malice  in  it.  She  was 
famed  for  the  ill  taste  of  her  costumes,  and  as  one  day  she  swept  by  in  an 
extraordinary  head-dress.  Smith  pointed  her  out  to  a  friend,  with  the  words, 
"That  is  the  origin  of  the  word  grotesque."  Mrs.  Grote  had  her  revenge, 
however.  Smith's  daughter  married  a  Dr.  Holland.  When  the  latter  was 
knighted,  somebody  mentioned  his  wife  as  Lady  Holland.  "  Do  you  mean 
Lord  Holland's  wife.-"'  asked  a  listener.  "No,"  put  in  Mrs.  Grote;  "this  is 
New  Holland,  whose  capital  is  Sydney." 

Walter  Savage  Landor,  of  whom  it  was  said  that  his  name  ought  to  have 
been  "  Savage  Walter  Landor,"  was  proud  of  a  joke  he  once  made  to  Kenyon. 
"I  understand,"  he  said,  "that  a  Mr.  Quillinan  has  been  attacking  me.  His 
writings  are,  I  hear,  quill-inanities."  At  least  as  good  was  Jerrold's  remark 
when  Albert  Smith  wrote  an  article  in  Blackwood  to  which  he  appended  only 
his  initials.  "  What  a  pity,"  said  Jerrold,  "  that  Smith  cannot  be  brought  to 
tell  more  than  two-thirds  of  the  truth  !"  The  same  humorist  one  day  met  a 
Scotch  gentleman  whose  name  was  Leitch,  and  who  deemed  it  necessary  to 
explain  that  he  was  not  the  caricaturist  John  Leech.  "  I  know,"  said  Jerrold  : 
"you  are  the  Scotchman  with  the  itch  in  your  name." 

Charles  Lamb  Kenney,  the  popular  journalist,  dining  at  the  house  of  a 
friend,  chanced  to  swallow  a  small  piece  of  cork  with  his  wine,  the  result 
being  a  severe  fit  of  coughing.  "Take  care,  my  friend,"  said  his  next  neigh- 
bor, with  a  rather  feeble  attempt  at  humor,  "that's  not  the  way  for  Cork  !" 
"No,"  gasped  the  sufferer,  "it's  the  way  to  kill  Kenney  !" 

The  poet  Campbell,  in  his  student  days  in  Glasgow,  observed  that  Drum,  a 
liquor-dealer,  and  Fife,  an  apothecary,  were  next-door  neighbors,  the  latter 
announcing  also  on  a  sign  displayed  over  his  window,  "  Ears  pierced  by  A. 
Fife."  With  the  assistance  of  a  couple  of  school-fellows  the  poet  one  night 
placed  a  long  fir  board  from  the  window  of  one  shop  to  that  of  the  other, 
bearing  in  flaming  capitals  the  Shakespearian  line, — 

The  spirit-stirring  Drum,  the  ear-piercing  Fife. 

When  the  barrister  Campbell  married  Miss  Scarlett,  Brougham  explained  his 
absence  from  court  by  telling  Judge  Abbott  that  the  missing  barrister  was 
siiffering  from  an  attack  of  Scarlett  fever.  When  Mrs.  Little  brought  forth 
triplets,  and  was  rewarded  by  the  queen's  guineas,  a  friend  remarked,  "  Every 
little  helps." 

Puns  have  more  than  once  played  an  important  part  in  history. 

The  Roman  bishop's  famous  compliment  to  the  handsome  Anglo-Saxon 
captives,  "Not  Angles,  but  angels,"  had  greater  results  than  its  actual  bril- 
liancy might  seem  to  merit  ;  and  St.  Leo  doubtless  had  no  idea  when  he  prayed 
to  heaven  to  aid  Rome  against  the  invading  Huns,  "  and  hurl  back  these  Tar- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  933 

tars  into  the  fires  of  Tartarus,"  that  this  punning  prayer  was  to  fix  upon  the 
unlucky  "Tartars"  (as  they  were  then  called)  a  nickname  that  would  never 
die.  France  expiated  by  the  devastation  of  an  entire  province  a  coarse  and 
clumsy  play  upon  "  corpse"  and  "  corpulence"  made  by  the  French  king  in 
derision  of  his  terrible  neighbor,  William  the  Conqueror.  Charles  the  Fifth's 
jesting  assertion  that  he  could  put  Paris  in  his  glove  [gant),  though  meant 
only  to  indicate  the  superior  size  of  Ghent  to  the  Paris  of  that  day,  stung 
Francis  the  First  into  the  renewal  of  a  languishing  war.  One  of  Louis  the 
Fifteenth's  upstart  favorites  was  driven  from  the  court  by  the  biting  pun  that 
turned  his  new  title  of  Marquis  de  Vandiere  into  "  Marquis  d'Avant-hier" 
(the  day  before  yesterday).  Equally  historical  was  the  bitter  pun  that  changed 
the  name  of  the  sluggish  Admiral  Torrington  to  "  Admiral  Tarry-in-town." 

Napoleon  (who  was  no  man  for  light  jesting)  is  credited  with  only  a  single 
pun,  and  that  a  rather  poor  one.  During  his  great  Italian  campaign  of  1796- 
97,  he  replied  to  a  lady  who  wondered  to  find  such  a  famous  man  so  young, 
"  I  am  young  to-day,  but  to-morrow  I  shall  have  Milan"  (i.e.,  "  mille  ans,"  a 
thousand  years). 

A  better  joke  was  that  made  on  the  great  conqueror  himself  by  Talleyrand. 
Fontaine,  the  architect,  had  placed  upon  the  triumphal  arch  in  the  Carrousel 
an  empty  car  drawn  by  the  famous  bronze  Venetian  horses.  Talleyrand  asked 
him,  "Qui  avez-vous  I'intention  de  mettre  dans  le  char.'"'  The  answer  was, 
"L'Empereur  Napoleon,  comine  de  raison."  Upon  which  Talleyrand  said, 
"  Le  char  I'attend"  {le  charlatan). 

The  golden  era  of  English  punning  dates  undoubtedly  from  the  beginning 
to  the  middle  of  the  present  century,  the  era  of  those  protagonists  in  the  art, 
Canning,  Whately,  Lamb,  Jerrold,  Hook,  and  Hood.  Lamb's  efforts  are 
almost  too  familiar  to  quote.  Everybody  has  read  how  he  accounted  for  the 
coolness  of  the  Duke  of  Cu-cumberland,  his  reflection  that  the  party  who 
dined  on  the  top  of  Salisbury  steeple  must  have  been  very  sharp  set,  and  his 
reply  to  the  query  of  the  omnibus  cad,  "  All  full  inside  ?"  that  he  didn't  know 
how  it  stood  with  the  rest  of  the  company,  but  "that  last  bit  of  oyster-pie  did 
the  business  for  me."  Less  known,  but  as  admirable  as  any,  was  the  pun 
made  when  comfortably  housed  with  a  few  friends  on  a  stormy  evening.  Dis- 
turbed by  a  dog  howling  without,  some  one  benevolently  proposed  to  let  him 
in.  "Why,"  stuttered  Lamb,  "grudge  him  his  whine  and  water?"  A  most 
palpable  pun  ;  but  is  the  wit  wholly  in  words }  Does  the  whole  force  of  the 
jest  lie  in  the  double  meaning  between  two  words  or  two  phrases  ?  Is  it  not 
rather  a  complete  web  of  humor,  strand  crossing  strand,  thread  twisted  with 
thread?  The  provoking  seriousness  of  rebuke;  the  queer  reconciling  of 
opposites  ;  the  sudden  surprise  ;  the  jingling  together  of  extreme  ideas  ;  the 
transcendently  hospitable  inhospitality, — these  and  more  go  to  make  it  irre- 
sistible. The  dog  were  no  gentleman,  if  he  was  not,  after  that,  quite  content 
with  his  position. 

Hood  was  an  absolute  punning-machine.  He  ground  out  puns,  good,  bad, 
and  indifferent,  with  alarming  facility.  Among  the  former  was  his  description 
of  the  meeting  of  the  man  and  the  lion,  "when  the  man  ran  off  with  all  his 
might  and  the  lion  with  all  his  mane,"  and  the  ghastly  joke  on  the  solicitous 
undertaker  who  was  seeking  "to  urn  a  lively  Hood."  Some  of  his  poems — 
as  "Faithless  Sally  Brown" — are  unequalled  tours  deforce  in  the  way  of 
punning  literature. 

The  memory  of  Theodore  Hook  is  very  appropriately  associated  with  the 
most  audacious  jest  on  record, — viz.,  his  announcement,  when  recalled  from 
his  post  as  Governor  of  Mauritius  on  a  charge  of  embezzling  twelve  thousand 
pounds  of  the  public  money,  that  he  had  come  home  "on  account  of  a  dis- 
order in  his  chest."     But  the  most  brilliant  of  his  comic  feats  was  achieved  in 


934  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

concert  with  his  rival  Hood.  The  two  were  strolling  one  summer  evening  on 
the  outskirts  of  London  witli  their  friend  Charles  Mathews,  the  actor,  when 
Hood  said  to  Hook,  "They  call  us  '  the  inseparables  ;'  but,  after  all,  it's  only 
natural  that  Hook-and-eye  should  always  be  together — eh,  Theo  ?"  "Bravo, 
Tom  !"  cried  Hook  ;  "that's  the  best  I've  heard  for  a  long  time  !  I  say,  sup- 
pose we  have  a  match  which  of  us  two  can  make  the  best  joke  on  the  spur 
of  the  moment?  Charlie  Mathews  here  shall  be  umpire,  and  the  loser  shall 
stand  treat  for  a  supper  for  three."  "Done  !"  said  Hood.  Scarcely  was  the 
word  uttered  when  they  espied  a  sign-board,  the  owner  of  which,  wishing  to 
advertise  that  he  sold  beer,  had  unluckily  worded  the  announcement,  "Bear 
sold  here."  "  Oho,"  said  Hook,  "  I  suppose  .that  bear  is  his  own  Bruin  !" 
"  Well  done  !"  cried  Charles  Mathews.  "  You'll  have  hard  work  to  beat  that, 
friend  Thomas."  "I  dare  say -he'll  do  it,  though,"  said  Theodore;  "he 
carries  more  than  two  faces  under  one  Hood  :  don't  you,  Tom  ?"  At  that 
moment  they  turned  a  sharp  corner,  and  came  in  sight  of  a  small  tumble- 
down house  standing  in  the  midst  of  a  wretched  little  plot  of  worn  and 
trampled  grass,  just  in  front  of  which  was  displayed  a  huge  board  with  the 
inscription,  "  Beware  the  dog."  Hood  looked  warily  round  him  in  all  direc- 
tions, and,  finding  no  dog  anywhere  visible,  picked  up  a  broken  piece  of  brick 
and  scribbled  underneath  the  warning,  "  Ware  be  the  dog.?"  "  Well,  I'll  tell 
you  what  it  is,  my  boys,"  said  Charles  Mathews,  "  I  can't  decide  between  two 
such  jokes  as  those,  and,  what's  more,  I'm  not  going  to  try  :  so  we  had  better 
all  go  and  sup  together,  and  each  pay  his  own  siiare." 

Hook,  however,  always  held  that  his  best  pun  was  made  on  seeing  a  de- 
faced wall-placard  bearing  the  inscription  "  Warren's  B ."     "  What  ought 

to  follow,"  said  Hook,  "is  lacking," — certainly  an  admirable  pun  of  its  kind, 
though  no  better  than  that  of  the  Philadelphian  who  read  "  Brown  St."  as 
"  Brown  Stout,"  and  when  remonstrated  with  replied,  "  I  thought  the  rest 
was  out." 

Poole,  the  author  of  "  Paul  Pry,"  was,  according  to  Hayward,  one  of  the 
best  punsters  of  his  day.  An  actor  named  Priest  was  playing  at  a  London 
theatre.  Some  one  at  the  Garrick  Club  remarked  that  there  were  a  great 
many  men  in  the  pit.  "  Probably  clerks  who  have  taken  Priest's  orders," 
said  Poole.  Jekyll's  reputation  has  passed  into  history.  Once  when  Gar- 
row,  the  famous  lawyer,  was  examining  a  prevaricating  old  woman  by  whom 
he  sought  to  prove  that  a  tender  of  money  had  been  made,  Jekyll  threw  him 
a  scrap  of  paper  on  which  he  had  written, — 

Garrow,  forbear  :  that  tough  old  jade 
Will  never  prove  a  tender  made. 

When  Lord  Londonderry  told  Canning  of  a  Dutch  picture  wherein  all  the 
animals  were  issuing  out  of  the  ark,  the  elephant  last — "Of  course,"  in- 
terrupted the  wit :  "  he  had  stopped  to  pack  his  trunk.''  A  bit  of  nonsense 
quite  as  grotesque  was  Whately's  explanation  that  if  the  devil  were  to  lose 
his  tail  he  could  get  another  where  bad  spirits  are  retailed.  Jerrold's  defini- 
tion of  dogmatism  as  puppyism  come  to  maturity  is  a  classic  ;  so  also  is  his 
phrase  of  "  unremitting  kindness"  applied  to  an  actor  who  had  left  his  family 
to  starve.  Jerrold  declared  he  could  make  a  pun  on  any  subject.  "Can  you 
pun  on  the  signs  of  the  zodiac  V     "  By  Gemini,  I  can,  sir  !" 

But  these  are  the  masterpieces  of  punsters  by  profession.  Excellent  jests 
of  the  same  sort  have  sometimes  been  struck  out  in  the  heat  of  inspiration  by 
men  who  were  not  known  as  mere  wags.  Burke,  when  pressed  by  a  trades- 
man for  payment  of  a  bill,  or  for  the  interest  at  least,  if  not  for  the  principal, 
produced  a  masterpiece.  "Sir,"  he  said,  "it  is  not  my  principle  to  pay  the 
interest,  nor  my  interest  to  pay  the  principal."  Byron  has  some  biting  ex- 
amples, as  in  his  epitaph  on  Pitt, — 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  935 

With  death  doomed  to  grapple, 

Beneath  this  cold  slab,  he 
Who  lied  in  the  Chapel 

Now  lies  ill  the  Abbey  ; 

or  in  the  concluding  couplet  of  his  epitaph  on  the  drunken  carrier,  John 
Adams : 

The  liquor  he  drank,  being  too  much  for  one, 
He  could  not  carry  off,  so  he's  now  carrion. 

Fox,  when  asked  the  meaning  of  the  Psalmist's  phrase,  "He  clothed  him- 
self with  cursing  like  as  with  his  garment,"  replied,  "  I  think  it  is  clear  enough  : 
the  man  had  a  habit  of  swearing."  Home  Tooke's  answer  to  George  HI. 
was  full  of  caustic  satire.  The  monarch  asked  him  whether  he  played  cards. 
"  No,  your  majesty  ;   I  cannot  tell  a  king  from  a  knave." 

Nay,  there  are  puns  extant  by  unknown  authors  which  any  one  might  have 
felt  a  pride  in  fathering.  A  Cambridge  fellow,  walking  with  a  visitor,  met  by 
chance  the  Master  of  St.  John's  on  horseback.  "  Who  is  that  ?"  inquired  the 
visitor.  "That  is  St.  John's  head  on  a  charger."  A  would-be  masher  of 
middle  age,  who  was  looking  at  a  house,  asked  the  pretty  servant-girl  whether 
she  was  to  let  with  the  establishment.  "No,  sir,"  was  the  answer  ;  "please, 
sir,  I  am  to  be  let  alone."  Here  is  a  pun  which  hits  with  both  its  barrels; 
each  of  its  two  meanings  speaks  a  volume.  The  one  informs  the  querist  that 
his  admiration  must  not  be  expressed  too  warmly  ;  the  other,  that  an  eligible 
offer  is  not  likely  to  be  ill  received.  Was  ever  greater  weight  of  meaning 
comi>ressed  into  two  words  ?  If  so,  it  is  only  in  Punch's  answer  to  Mallock's 
query,  "  Is  life  worth  living.'"' — "That  depends  \ipon  the  liver," — which  has 
been  cited  as  an  instance  showing  "how  much  wit,  science,  and  moral  may  be 
crowded  into  a  pun." 

Sydney  Smith  quotes  with  approval  the  story  of  the  anonymous  wag  who 
rebuked  a  careless  student  for  reading  the  word  patriarchs  as  partridges  : 
"  You  are  making  game  of  the  patriarchs."  An  excellent  motto  for  a  tea- 
caddy,  "Tu  doces"  ("Thou  teachest"),  is  mentioned  in  the  Gentleman's  Maga- 
zine for  1 791,  and  is  there  somewhat  dubiously  attributed  to  one  J.  Coulson, 
F.R.S.,  who  flourished  half  a  century  before. 

It  has  been  held  that  the  worse  a  pun  the  better  it  is.  Charles  Lamb 
rather  agrees  with  the  dictum:  "This  species  of  wit  is  the  better  for  not 
being  perfect  in  all  its  parts.  What  it  gains  in  completeness  it  loses  in 
naturalness.  The  more  exactly  it  satisfies  the  critical,  the  less  hold  it  has 
upon  some  other  faculties.  The  puns  which  are  most  entertaining  are  those 
which  will  least  bear  an  analysis."  And  as  an  example  he  gives  the  follow- 
ing, "recorded  with  a  sort  of  stigma  in  Swift's  'Miscellanies:'"  An  Oxford 
scholar,  meeting  a  porter  who  was  carrying  a  hare  through  the  streets,  ac- 
costs him  with  this  extraordinary  question  :  "  Prithee,  friend,  is  that  your  own 
hair  or  a  wig  .''"  Lamb  goes  into  ecstasies  over  this  jest :  "  There  is  no  excusing 
this,  and  no  resisting  it.  A  man  might  blur  ten  sides  of  paper  in  attempting 
a  defence  of  it  against  a  critic  who  should  be  laughter-proof"  It  is  only  on 
this  principle  that  a  ghastly  pun  of  Lamb  himself  can  be  excused.  Writing 
to  Hood  to  condole  with  him  on  the  loss  of  one  of  his  children,  he  goes  on, 
"  I  have  won  sexpence  of  Moxon  by  the  sex  of  the  dear  gone  one."  In  such 
a  riddle  as  the  following,  "  If  a  Frenchman  fell  into  a  tub  of  grease,  what 
English  word  might  he  utter  .?"  the  answer  being  "  In-de-fat-I-gabble,"  it  is 
not  so  much  the  pun  which  titillates  tiie  fancy  as  an  involuntary  image  of  the 
luckless  victim,  and  the  absurd  inaj^propriateness  of  his  remark.  We  might 
put  into  the  same  category  Buriiand's  reported  exi^lanation  of  a  poet-friend's 
choice  of  mince  pie  to  lunch  off,  "  he  evidently  was  getting  him  inspiration,"  but 
when  we  find  the  Spectator  pronouncing  this  to  be  "excruciatingly  good"  we 


936  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

withdraw  our  admiration  for  its  excruciating  badness,  and  realize  sadly  that 
Americans  and  English  can  never  be  friends  if  inability  to  laugh  at  the  same 
jokes  be  indeed  the  severest  test  of  friendship.  But  then  there  is  Lewis 
Carroll,  and  on  that  common  ground  both  nations  can  meet.  What  can  be 
better  (or  worse)  than  some  of  the  puns  scattered  through  Alice's  various 
adventures?  There  is  a  naivete  and  a  pathetic  simplicity  about  them  which 
seem  somehow  to  reach  the  common  fount  of  laughter  and  of  tears. 

Put  me  in  my  little  bed,  a  once  common  American  colloquialism,  mean- 
ing that  the  one  addressed  is  beaten  or  distanced,  or  has  no  more  to  say.  It 
is  derived  from  the  refrain  of  a  popular  song : 

Come,  sister,  come. 

Kiss  me  good-night. 

For  I  my  evening  prayers  have  said ; 

I  want  to  lay  me  down  to  rest : 

So  put  me  in  my  little  bed. 

Putrefaction  shines  in  the  dark.  Lord  Chesterfield,  in  his  "  Letters 
to  his  Son,"  has  this  image  :  "These  poor,  mistaken  people  think  they  shine? 
and  so  they  do,  indeed  ;  but  it  is  as  putrefaction  shines, — in  the  dark." 
Chesterfield's  Letters  were  published  at  his  death  in  1773.  In  Cowper's 
"Conversation"  (1781)  the  same  image  reappears: 

'Tis  such  a  light  as  putrefaction  breeds 
In  fly-blown  flesh,  whereon  the  maggot  feeds, — 
Shines  in  the  dark,  but,  ushered  into  day, 
The  stench  remains,  the  lustre  dies  away. 

Pyrenees,  There  are  no  more.  According  to  Voltaire,  in  his  "  Age 
of  Louis  XIV.,"  when  the  grandson  of  that  monarch,  the  Duke  of  Anjou, 
was  departing  for  Spain  to  take,  under  the  name  of  Philip  V.,  the  throne  left 
vacant  by  the  death  of  Charles  II.,  Louis,  in  his  farewell  instructions,  said, 
"  Be  a  good  Spaniard  ;  it  is  your  duty  ;  but  remember  that  you  are  French, 
and  that  you  maintain  the  union  of  the  two  countries."  Then,  embracing  the 
youth,  he  added,  "  II  n'y  a  plus  de  Pyrenees."  "  Why,"  asks  Fournier,  per- 
tinently, "  should  Voltaire  have  written  thus,  when  he  might  have  found  that 
the  king  never  said  it  ?  It  is  a  Spanish  rather  than  a  French  mot,  related  by 
Dangeau,  a  courtier  who  followed  Philip  to  his  new  kingdom,  as  the  remark 
of  the  ambassador  of  Spain,  who  said  that  the  journey  between  the^  two 
countries  would  be  easy,  as  the  Pyrenees  were  now  melted"  ("  les  Pyrenees 
etaient  fondues").  But  according  to  the  Mercure  Volant,  November,  1700,  p. 
237,  the  Spanish  ambassador  used  the  exact  words  which  Voltaire  puts  in  the 
mouth  of  Louis  XIV.  to  that  monarch  himself:  "What  joy  !  There  are  no 
more  Pyrenees ;  they  are  uprooted,  and  henceforth  we  are  but  one."  An 
earlier  origin  for  the  sentiment  has  been  found  in  a  poem  by  Malherbe,  cele- 
brating the  marriage  of  Louis  XIII.  and  Anne  of  Austria: 

Puis  quand  ces  deux  grands  hymenees 

Dont  le  fatal  embrassement 

Doit  aplanir  les  Pyrenees,  .  .  . 
Cowper  expresses  a  similar  thought  in  another  way : 

Mountains  interposed 
Make  enemies  of  nations  who  had  else, 
Like  kindred  drops,  been  melted  into  one. 

The  Task,  Book  ii.,  1. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  937 


Q- 

Q,  the  seventeenth  letter  and  thirteenth  consonant  in  the  English,  as  in  the 
Latin,  alphabet.  In  the  Phcenician  it  was  the  nineteenth  character,  and  had 
the  value  of  a  deeper  and  more  guttural  k.  The  original  Greek  alphabet  had 
the  letter,  but  abandoned  it  as  useless,  because  there  was  no  such  distinction 
between  the  k  sounds.  The  Latins  unphilosophicaljy  retained  it,  but  only 
in  the  form  qu,  which  is  identical  with  ku,  and  through  the  Latin  want  of 
phonetic  subtlety  this  entirely  superfluous  letter  has  been  admitted  into  all 
modern  alphabets  based  on  the  Phoenician,  because  in  that  parent  alphabet  it 
had  a  real  office  to  perform. 

Quaker  City.  Philadelphia  is  popularly  so  called,  having  been  founded 
by  William  Penn  and  settled  and  colonized  by  members  of  the  Society  of 
Friends,  who  still  form  an  important  element  in  its  population. 

Queen  City,  sometimes  also  Queen  of  the  West,  a  name  given  to  Cincin- 
nati at  a  time  when  she  was  by  far  the  most  important  commercial  centre, 
of  that  part  of  the  United  States.  The  city  has  retained  the  name,  and  is 
very  often  called  by  the  sobriquet  at  this  day. 

And  this  song  of  the  Vine, 
This  greeting  of  mine. 
The  winds  and  the  birds  shall  deliver 
To  the  Queen  of  the  West, 
In  her  garlands  dressed. 
On  the  banks  of  the  beautiful  river. 

Longfellow. 

Queen's  Bus,  an  alternative  name  among  English  thieves  for  the  Black 
Maria,  or  prison-van.  The  story  runs  that  a  crazy  inmate  of  Clerkenwell  was 
about  to  be  sent  away.  He  was  told  that  the  queen  had  despatched  one  of  her 
own  carriages  for  him.  "One  of  them  with  We  R  on  the  side.?"  "Yes." 
"  Wot's  We  R  stand  for  ?"  "  Victoria  Regina,  of  course."  "  No,  it  don't : 
it  stands  for  Wagabones  Removed,"  said  the  prisoner.  The  same  letters  are 
facetiously  interpreted  to  mean  Virtue  Rewarded. 

Queen's  Pipe,  the  name  popularly  given  to  a  huge  oven  at  the  Victoria 
Dock  in  London — where  from  ninety-five  to  ninety-eight  per  cent,  of  the  entire 
imports  of  tobacco  are  received — which  forms  the  crematory  of  the  worthless 
portions  of  cargoes  and  the  refuse  and  sweepings  of  the  bonding  houses.  A 
great  deal  of  misunderstanding  exists  about  the  office  of  this  pipe,  and  it  is 
sometimes  held  to  be  a  ravenous  maw  that  is  eternally  smoking  the  primest 
of  smuggled  cigars,  cigarettes,  and  tobacco.  But,  in  fact,  contraband  tobacco 
is  overhauled  after  seizure,  and  the  good  portions  separated  from  the  worth- 
less and  supplied  to  convict  prisons,  for  the  consolation  of  criminal  lunatics. 
Only  refuse  tobacco  finds  its  way  into  the  Queen's  Pipe.  W^hen  reduced  to 
ashes,  the  proportion  of  lime  contained  in  the  dust  renders  it  useful  for 
manure.  It  is  disposed  of  to  agriculturists  for  mixture  with  other  materials 
in  tilling  the  land. 

Quem  Deus  vult  perdere  prius  dementat  (L.,  "  Whom  God  would 
destroy  he  first  makes  mad"),  an  anonymous  translation  of  a  fragmentary  line 
of  Greek  attributed  to  Euripides  : 

'Oi'  Sebs  Se'Aet  an-oAe'<rai  Trpwr'  aTio<t>pdvei.. 

Sophocles,  however,  refers  to  it  (Antigone,  622)  as  a  remarkable  saying  of 
some  one  unknown.     It  appears  as  Maxim  911  in  Publius  Syrus  in  this  form  : 
2P  79 


938  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

"  Whom  Fortune  wishes  to  destroy  she  first  makes  mad."     Butler  puts  the  idea 
into  English  verse  thus  : 

Like  men  condemned  to  thunder-bolts. 
Who,  ere  the  blow,  become  mere  dolts; 

and  Dryden,  in  "The  Hind  and  the  Panther," — 

For  those  whom  God  to  ruin  has  designed 
He  fits  for  fate  and  first  destroys  the  mind. 

Part  III.,  1.  2387. 

Quick  as  thought,  a  familiar  locution  common  to  most  modern  lan- 
guages. 

Most  readers  have  no  doubt  frequently  made  use  of  the  expression  "quick  as  thought," 
but  have  any  of  them  ever  stopped  to  consider  how  quick  thought  is?  A  writer  has  made 
some  interesting  calculations  regarding  the  comparative  length  of  time  it  takes  to  call  to  mind 
various  every-day  facts.  It  takes  about  two-fifths  of  a  second  to  call  to  mind  the  country  in 
■which  a  well-known  town  is  situated,  or  the  langu.ige  in  which  a  familiar  author  wrote.  We 
can  think  of  the  name  of  next  month  in  half  the  time  we  need  to  think  of  the  name  of  the 
last  month.  It  takes  on  an  average  one-third  of  a  second  to  add  numbers  consisting  of  one 
digit,  and  half  a  second  to  multiply  them.  Such  experiments  give  us  considerable  insight  into 
the  mind.  Those  used  to  reckoning  can  add  two  or  three  in  less  time  than  others  ;  those 
familiar  with  literature  can  remember  more  quickly  than  others  that  Shakespeare  wrote  Hamlet. 
It  takes  longer  to  mention  a  month  when  a  season  has  been  given  than  to  say  to  what  month 
a  season  belongs.  The  time  taken  up  in  choosing  a  motion,  the  "  will  time,"  can  be  measured 
as  well  as  the  time  taken  up  in  perceiving.  If  I  do  not  know  which  of  two  colored  lights  is 
to  be  presented,  and  must  lift  my  right  hand  if  it  be  red  and  my  left  if  it  be  blue,  I  need  about 
one-thirteenth  of  a  second  to  initiate  the  correct  motion.  1  have  also  been  able  to  register  the 
sound-waves  made  in  the  air  by  speaking,  and  thus  have  determined  that  in  order  to  call  up 


the  name  belonging  to  a  printed  word  I  need  about  one-ninth  of  a  second,  to  a  letter  < 
of  a  second,  and  to  a  color  one-third  of  a  second.  A  letter  can  be  seen  more  quickly  than  a 
word,  but  we  are  so  used  to  reading  aloud  that  the  process  has  become  quite  automatic, 
and  a  word  can  be  read  with  greater  ease  and  in  less  time  than  a  letter  can  be  named.  The 
same  experiments  made  on  other  persons  give  times  differing  but  little  from  my  own.  Mental 
processes,  however,  take  place  more  slowly  in  children,  in  the  aged,  and  in  the  uneducated. 
— Nmeteenth  Century. 

How  fleet  is  a  glance  of  the  mind  ! 

Compared  with  the  speed  of  its  flight. 
The  tempest  itself  lags  behind. 

And  the  swift-winged  arrows  of  light. 

CowPER  :  Lines  supposed  to  have  been  luritten 
by  A  lexander  Selkirk. 

Quodlibet,  a  compound  Latin  word,  meaning  "as  you  please,"  was  the 
term  used  by  the  schoolmen  of  the  Middle  Ages  to  designate  the  subtle 
questions  in  casuistry  on  which  they  delighted  to  exercise  their  dialectical 
skill.  To  us  they  often  seem  extravagantly  absurd,  yet  they  were  greeted 
with  the  highest  respect  and  admiration,  and  won  for  their  propounders  the 
guerdon  of  such  fantastic  titles  as  the  Seraphic,  Illuminated,  Subtle,  or  Invin- 
cible Doctor.  And  indeed  the  extraordinary  subtlety  of  intelligence  which  they 
indicate  is  not  to  be  set  aside  with  a  sneer.  It  was  a  phase  of  evolution 
through  which  the  human  mind  had  to  pass  in  order  to  realize  its  own  limita- 
tions and  fall  back  upon  the  every-day  light  of  common  sense  as  a  safer 
illuminator  than  mystic  moonshine. 

But,  while  we  withhold  the  sneer,  the  grotesque  naivete  of  these  hair-splitting 
controversies  cannot  fail  to  awaken  a  responsive  thrill  in  the  most  rudimentary 
sense  of  humor.  Burlesque  has  done  its  best,  but  has  produced  nothing  more 
delightful.  There  is  the  famous  question  of  the  pretended  Shakespearian  So- 
ciety, "  Whether  the  deceased  husband  of  Juliet's  nurse  was  really  a  merry 
man,  or  whether  he  only  appeared  so  in  the  deceptive  haze  thrown  posthu- 
mously around  his  character  by  the  affectionate  partiality  of  his  widow  ?"  There 
is  that  no  less  celebrated  problem  derisively  propounded  by  Giordano  Bruno, 
himself  a  schoolman  :  "  Num  chimasra  bombinans  in  vacuo  possit  comedere 
secundas  intentiones"  ("  Whether  a  chimera  ruminating  in  a  vacuum  devoureth 


\ 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  939 

second  intentions").  These  are  funny  enough.  Reid,  the  Scotch  metaphysi- 
cian, even  questioned  whether  the  wit  of  man  could  produce  a  more  ridiculous 
proposition  than  the  second.  Perhaps  not  more  ridiculous.  But  either  his 
memory  or  his  sense  of  humor  was  at  fault  if  he  failed  to  recognize  that  many 
of  the  true  quodlibets  were  quite  as  facetious. 

Here  is  an  authentic  question  which  was  a  favorite  topic  of  discussion,  and 
thousands  of  the  acutest  logicians  through  more  than  one  century  never 
resolved  it :  "  When  a  hog  is  carried  to  market  with  a  rope  tied  about  its 
neck,  which  is  held  at  the  other  end  by  a  man,  whether  is  the  hog  carried  to 
market  by  the  rope  or  by  the  man .?" 

Among  these  learned  leviathans  probably  none  is  more  widely  remembered 
than  Thomas  Aquinas, — St.  Thomas  in  his  present  state  of  perfect  beatitude, 
"The  Angelic  Doctor,"  as  he  was  called  on  earth.  His  works,  in  seventeen 
folio  volumes,  testify  not  only  to  his  industry  but  also  to  his  genius.  His 
greatest  work,  the  "  Summa  totius  Theologiae,"  a  summary  of  "theology," — 
that  is  to  say,  of  all  knowledge  as  it  was  then  conceived, — fills  a  volume  in 
elephant  folio  containing  nearly  fifteen  hundred  pages  of  very  small  print  in 
double  columns.  It  may  be  worth  noticing  that  to  this  work  are  appended 
nineteen  folio  pages,  in  double  column,  of  errata,  and  about  two  hundred 
pages  of  index. 

The  whole  is  thrown  into  Aristotelian  form ;  the  difficulties  or  questions 
are  proposed  first,  and  the  answers  are  then  appended.  There  are  one  hun- 
dred and  sixty-eight  articles  on  Love,  three  hundred  and  fifty-eight  on  Angels, 
two  hundred  on  the  Soul,  eighty-five  on  Demons,  one  hundred  and  fifty-one  on 
the  Intellect,  one  hundred  and  thirty-four  on  Law,  two  hundred  and  thirty- 
seven  on  Sins,  seventeen  on  Virginity,  and  others  on  various  topics. 

One  is  inclined  to  suspect  that  the  title  of  Angelic  Doctor  was  earned  not  so 
much  by  any  seraphic  temper  with  which  the  good  Thomas  was  blessed,  for 
he  was  a  most  vehement  and  uncompromising  polemic,  as  by  his  very  minute 
examination  into  the  nature  of  the  angels.  In  his  three  hundred  and  fifty- 
eight  articles  on  the  topic,  he  treats  of  angels,  their  substance,  orders,  offices, 
habits,  etc.,  as  if  he  himself  had  been  an  angel  of  experience.  Here  are  a 
few  heads  culled  from  his  treatise  : 

Angels  were  not  before  the  world. 

Angels  might  have  been  before  the  world. 

Angels  are  incorporeal  compared  to  us,  but  corporeal  compared  to  God. 

An  angel  is  composed  of  action  and  potentiality  ;  the  more  superior  he  is,  he  has  the  less 
potentiality. 

Angels  have  not  naturally  a  body  united  to  them.  They  may  assume  bodies,  but  they  do 
not  want  to  assume  bodies  for  themselves,  but  for  us. 

The  bodies  assumed  by  angels  are  of  thick  air. 

The  bodies  they  assume  have  not  the  natural  virtues  which  they  show,  nor  the  operations 
of  life,  but  those  which  are  common  to  inanimate  things. 

An  angel  may  be  the  same  with  a  body. 

In  the  same  body  there  are  the  soul  formally  giving  being  and  operating  natural  opera- 
tions, and  the  angel  operating  supernatural  operations. 

Angels  administer  and  govern  every  corporeal  creature. 

God,  an  angel,  and  the  soul,  are  not  contained  in  space,  but  contain  it. 

Many  angels  cannot  be  in  the  same  space. 

The  motion  of  an  angel  in  space  is  nothing  else  than  different  contacts  of  different  succes- 
sive places. 

The  motion  of  an  angel  is  a  succession  of  his  different  operations. 

His  motion  may  be  continuous  and  discontinuous  as  he  will. 

The  continuous  motion  of  an  angel  is  necessary  through  every  medium,  but  may  be  dis- 
continuous without  a  medium. 

I  he  velocity  of  the  motion  of  an  angel  is  not  according  to  the  quantity  of  his  strength,  but 
according  to  his  will. 

The  motion  of  the  illumination  of  an  angel  is  threefold,  or  circular,  straight,  and  oblique. 

All  the  questions  are  answered  with  a  subtlety  and  nicety  of  distinction 


UNIVERSITY 
i£lCALIFOR^lLi 


940  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

more  difficult  to  comprehend  and  remember  than  many  problems  in  Euclid  ; 
and  perhaps  a  few  of  the  best  might  still  be  selected  for  youth  as  curious 
exercises  of  the  understanding.  Others,  however,  would  seem  to  the  modern 
mind  trifling,  grotesque,  and  even  irreverent.  Aquinas  gravely  asks.  Whether 
Christ  was  not  an  hermaphrodite  ?  Whether  there  are  excrements  in  Para- 
dise ?  Whether  the  pious  at  the  resurrection  will  rise  with  their  bowels.? 
His  contemporaries  kept  up  the  pace.  They  debated.  Whether  the  angel 
Gabriel  appeared  to  the  Virgin  Mary  in  the  shape  of  a  serpent,  of  a  dove, 
of  a  man,  or  of  a  woman  t  Did  he  seem  to  be  young,  or  old  .?  In  what  dress 
was  he  }  Was  his  garment  white,  or  of  two  colors  ?  Was  his  linen  clean,  or 
foul?  Did  he  appear  in  the  morning,  noon,  or  evening?  What  was  the 
color  of  the  Virgin  Mary's  hair  ?  Was  she  acquainted  with  the  mechanic  and 
liberal  arts  ?  Had  she  a  thorough  knowledge  of  the  Book  of  Sentences  and 
all  it  contains.? — that  is,  Peter  Lombard's  compilation  from  the  works  of  the 
Fathers,  written  twelve  hundred  years  after  her  death.  But  these  are  only 
trifling  matters  ;  they  also  agitated.  Whether  when  during  her  gestation  the 
Virgin  was  seated  Christ  too  was  seated,  and  whether  when  she  lay  down 
Christ  also  lay  down  ? 

While  all  this  profound  subtlety  nowadays  induces  a  smile,  we  should  not 
deceive  ourselves  as  to  the  quality  of  the  minds  that  produced  it.  They  were 
the  keenest  wits  and  the  brightest  intellects  of  their  time,  and  fully  equal  in 
capacity  to  the  best  of  any  age.  These  monstrous  products  of  their  labors 
are  but  the  expression  of  a  peculiarly  intimate  and  persistent  occupation  with 
the  supernatural,  in  their  attempts  to  rationalize  upon  the  supposititious  phe- 
nomena of  which  men  in  all  times  and  of  all  races  have  floundered  into  gro- 
tesqueness.  Does  not  the  more  modern  Milton  stumble  when  he  describes 
angels  and  spirits?  It  reminds  one  almost  of  the  Angelic  Doctor  himself  to 
hear  him  describe  the  vulgar  multitude  of  the  inhabitants  of  Pandemonium, 
who,  being  "incorporeal  spirits,"  are  "at  large,  though  without  number,"  in 
a  limited  space.  In  the  battle,  when  they  are  overwhelmed  by  mountains 
being  hurled  upon  them  by  the  good  angels,  their  armor  hurts  them,  as  it  is 
"crushed  in  upon  their  substance."  If  it  be  objected  that  this  is  explained 
by  their  having  "grown  gross  by  sinning,"  how,  then,  could  they  continue  to 
be  "  incorporeal  spirits,"  and,  being  incorporeal,  how  could  they  be  bounded 
by  space  ?  To  be  at  large,  implies  that  the  subject  of  which  it  is  predicated 
might  be  confined ;  and  how  are  we  to  rise  to  the  conception  of  confining 
things  without  substance  ?  But  the  uncorrupted  angels  are  no  less  paradoxi- 
cally described.  In  the  course  of  the  battle  they  too  are  sometimes  crushed 
and  overthrown,  "  the  sooner  for  their  arms,  for,  unarmed,  they  might  easily, 
as  spirits,  have  evaded  by  contraction  and  remove."  Considered  as  spirits 
they  are  hardly  to  be  regarded  as  spiritual,  for  "  contraction"  and  "  remove" 
are  images  of  matter ;  but  if  they  could  have  escaped  without  their  armor, 
why  they  should  not  have  "  contracted  and  removed"  and  escaped  from  it, 
and  left  only  the  empty  shell  to  be  battered,  is  incomprehensible. 

The  reader  desirous  of  being  merry  with  Aquinas's  angels  may  find  them  in 
Martinus  Scriblerus,  whose  imaginary  history  is  related  in  the  satirical  "  Me- 
moirs of  his  Extraordinary  Life,  Works,  and  Discoveries,"  usually  published 
in  Pope's  works,  but  chiefly,  if  not  wholly,  written  by  Arbuthnot.  In  chapter 
vii.  he  inquires  if  angels  pass  from  one  extreme  to  another  without  going 
through  the  middle?  And  if  angels  know  things  more  clearly  in  a  morning? 
And  how  many  angels  can  dance  on  the  point  of  a  very  fine  needle  without 
jostling  one  another  ? 

Amusing  travesties  of  quodlibetic  questions,  reminding  one  of  those  pro- 
pounded in  Martinus  Scriblerus,  are  those  with  which  Charles  Lamb,  after 
his  rupture  with  Coleridge  (in   1798,  on  the  departure  of  the  latter  for  Ger- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  94I 

many),  spiced  his  biting  farewell  letter,  of  masked  good  will  but  full  of  subtle 
and  penetrating  irony.  It  has  bearing  clearly  on  the  part  which  Coleridge 
was  thought  to  have  played  in  casting  ridicule  on  the  "  ewe  lambs"  of  his 
friend  (in  the  "burlesque  sonnets"  printed  in  1797).  Among  Lamb's  mock- 
theses  are  these:  "  Wliether  pure  intelligence  can  love?"  "Whether  the 
higher  order  of  Seraphim  illuminati  ever  sneer  ?"  The  sonnets  had  been 
signed  "  Nehemiah  Higginbotham."  Is  it  possible  that  Coleridge,  when 
charged  with  their  authorship,  seemed  to  equivocate?  Here  are  two  other 
theses  :  "  Whether  God  loves  a  lying  angel  better  than  a  true  man  ?" 
"  Whether  the  archangel  Uriel  could  affirm  an  untruth,  and  if  he  could, 
whether  he  would  ?" 

In  puerile  amplifications  and  quibbling  interpretations  of  Holy  Writ  the 
Talmudic  doctors  are  not  far  behind  their  Christian  brethren.  Here  is  one 
example  which  for  absurdity  is  a  match  for  any  of  those  of  the  schoolmen. 
The  subject  under  discussion  is  the  verse,  "The  Lord  said.  Because  the  cry 
of  Sodom  and  Gomorrah  is  great."  It  is  explained  that  the  Hebrew  word 
for  "great"  means  "girl,"  and  the  girl  was  one  who  hid  a  slice  of  bread  in 
her  pitcher  to  give  it  to  a  poor  man,  which  being  discovered,  her  body  was 
smeared  with  honey,  and  she  was  exposed  on  a  wall  to  be  stung  to  death  by 
the  bees.  This  incident,  it  is  evident,  must  be  subjected  to  the  Talmudic  secret 
interpretation,  and  the  bread  spoken  of  may  be  the  "bread  of  life," — the 
doctrine  not  to  be  dispensed  to  the  uninitiated.  The  secret  sense,  however, 
may  hardly  be  applied  to  the  case  of  Eleazar,  the  servant  of  Sarah.  Inter- 
fering when  a  stranger  had  been  defrauded,  one  of  the  people  struck  Eleazar 
on  the  forehead  with  a  stone.  He  brought  blood,  whereon  the  man  seized 
Eleazar  and  demanded  his  fee  as  a  leech.  "I  have  freed  thee  of  this  impure 
blood  :  pay  me  quickly ;  such  is  our  law."  Eleazar  refused  to  pay  for  his 
wound  and  the  blood  he  had  lost,  and  was  brought  into  court.  The  judge 
decreed  that  Eleazar  must  pay  the  fee.  "The  man  has  let  thy  blood  :  pay 
him  ;  such  is  our  law."  Eleazar  must  have  brought  the  blood-stained  stone 
as  evidence  of  the  assault,  inasmuch  as  on  hearing  the  decision  he  hurled 
the  stone  at  the  judge,  and  it  again  brought  forth  blood.  "  There,"  cried 
Eleazar,  "  follow  thy  law,  and  pay  my  fee  to  this  man,"  and  he  left  the  court- 
house. 

From  among  the  great  number  of  ridiculous  legends  of  the  Talmudists 
concerning  Adam  and  Eve  one  only  is  selected  here,  on  account  of  its  similar- 
ity to  the  intentionally  absurd  idea  of  Aristophanes  in  Plato's  "  Symposium." 

According  to  a  large  number  of  rabbis,  Adam  was  created  possessing  both 
sexes.  They  say  that  the  body  of  Adam  was  created  double,  male  on  the  one 
side  and  female  on  the  other,  the  two  bodies  being  joined  at  the  shoulders, 
and  that  God,  in  order  to  create  Eve,  had  no  more  to  do  than  to  separate  the 
two  bodies.     This  is  proved  by  much  ingenious  quotation  of  texts. 

In  the  "  Symposium"  or  "  Banquet"  of  Plato,  that  most  dramatic  of  his 
dialogues,  a  party  of  Athenians  are  assembled  at  supper  in  the  house  of 
Agathon,  the  young  tragic  poet.  The  subject  under  discussion  is  love.  Each 
of  those  present,  among  whom  are  orators,  physicians,  and  poets,  and,  of 
course,  Socrates,  gives  his  idea  of  the  nature  and  origin  of  love  from  his  own 
peculiar  stand- point.  As  might  have  been  expected  of  that  master  of  comedy, 
the  discourse  of  Aristophanes  is  full  of  grotesque  elements.  After  a  poetic 
prelude  he  continues, — 

You  ought  first  to  know  the  nature  of  man,  and  the  adventures  he  has  gone  through  ;  for 
his  nature  was  anciently  far  different  from  that  which  it  is  at  present.  First,  then,  human 
beings  were  formerly  not  divided  into  two  sexes,  male  and  female.  ...  At  the  period  to 
which  I  refer,  the  form  of  every  human  being  was  round,  the  back  and  sides  being  circularly 
joined  ;  and  each  had  four  arms,  and  as  many  legs,  two  faces,  fixed  upon  a  round  neck,  ex- 
actly like  each  other,  one  head  between  the  two  faces,  four  ears,  and  everything  else  as  from 

79* 


942  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

such  proportion  it  is  easy  to  conjecture.  Man  walked  upright  as  now,  in  whatever  direction  he 
pleased ;  but  when  he  wished  to  go  fast  he  made  use  of  all  his  eight  limbs,  and  proceeded  in  a 
rapid  motion  by  rolling  circularly  round,  like  tumblers,  who,  with  their  legs  in  the  air,  tumble 
round  and  round.  .  .  .  They  were  strong,  also,  and  had  aspiring  thoughts.  They  it  was  who 
levied  war  against  the  gods.  .  .  .  Jupiter  and  the  other  gods  debated  what  was  to  be  done  in 
this  emergency.  .  .  .  Jupiter,  with  some  difficulty  having  obtained  silence  in  Olympus,  at 
length  spoke.  "  I  think,"  said  he,  "  I  have  contrived  a  method  by  which  we  may,  by  render- 
ing the  human  race  more  feeble,  quell  their  insolence  without  proceeding  to  their  utter  destruc- 
tion. I  will  cut  each  of  them  in  half,  and  so  they  will  at  once  be  weaker  and  more  useful  on 
account  of  their  numbers.  They  shall  walk  upright  on  two  legs.  If  they  show  any  more 
insolence,  and  will  not  keep  quiet,  I  will  cut  them  up  in  half  again,  so  they  shall  go  about 
hopping  on  one  leg."  So  saying,  he  cut  them  in  half,  as  people  cut  medlars  before  they 
pickle  them,  or  as  I  have  seen  eggs  cut  with  hairs. 

From  this  period  mutual  love  has  naturally  existed  between  human  beings, — that  reconciler 
and  bond  of  their  original  union,  which  seeks  to  make  two  one,  and  to  heal  the  divided  nature 
of  man.  Every  one  of  us  is  thus  the  half  of  what  may  be  properly  termed  a  man,  and,  like 
a  psetta  cut  in  two,  is  the  imperfect  portion  of  an  entire  whole,  perpetually  necessitated  to 
seek  the  half  belonging  to  him. 

Such  fancies,  however,  as  remarked  above,  are  not  confined  to  any  time  or 
race  or  conditions  of  men.  While  it  is  true  that  the  sacred  boolcs  have  been 
peculiarly  subjected  to  this  sort  of  interpretation,  good  old  Homer  has  not 
escaped.  Aulus  Gellius,  in  "  Noctes  Atticae,"  tells  how  he  was  presented 
with  a  book  of  commentaries  on  the  Iliad  which,  for  puerility,  would  com- 
pare with  anything  ever  attempted  either  by  scholastic  or  by  rabbi ;  indeed, 
the  commentator  and  glossator  of  all  times,  and  particularly  of  our  own  age 
of  annotations,  is  a  true  quodlibetarian.  But  in  the  direct  line  the  scholastics 
have  left  worthy  descendants  in  our  own  time. 

The  following  bit  of  logic  would  do  credit  to  the  fourteenth  century,  yet  it 
is  from  a  modern  treatise  : 

Grog  consists  of  a  mi.xture  of  water  and  whiskey.  I  expect,  therefore,  to  find  three  sets  of 
qualities  in  grog  ;  one  set  due  _to  the  water,  another  to  the  whiskey,  and  another  to  the  mix- 
ture of  the  two.  Owing  to  the  presence  of  whiskey,  I  should  expect  to  find  the  color  darker 
and  the  flavor  stronger  than  water ;  owing  to  the  water,  I  should  expect  to  find  the  color 
lighter  and  the  flavor  weaker  than  whiskey  ;  and  owing  to  the  whiskey  and  water  being  mixed, 
I  should  expect  to  be  able  to  drink  a  certain  quantity  of  it, — more  than  I  could  of  pure  whiskey^ 
but  less  than  I  could  of  pure  water. — Dr.  Venn  :  Empirical  Logic. 

And  for  oddity  some  rococo  notions  of  our  own  day  hold  their  own  against 
the  scholasticism  at  which  we  now  smile.  It  was  gravely  proposed  a  few  years 
ago  to  submit  to  a  pair  of  scales  the  question  whether  or  not  man  has  a  soul. 
The  idea  was  to  place  in  a  delicate  balance  a  man  about  to  expire,  and  watch 
for  any  possible  change  in  his  weight  at  the  moment  of  death.  It  was  urged 
that  if  there  be  such  a  thing  as  a  human  soul,  capable  of  existing  apart  from 
the  body,  that  soul  must  weigh  something,  however  little,  and  that  if  no  change 
in  weight  were  perceptible  the  fact  would  furnish  a  strong  argument  in  favor 
of  some  theory  which  need  not  be  discussed  here.  The  suggestion  did  not 
lead  up  to  any  practical  result,  still  less  to  a  solution  of  the  riddle  as  stated. 

A  gentleman  connected  with  the  South  Boston  Institution  for  the  Blind  is 
reported  to  have  had  another  idea.  He  took  it  for  granted  that  the  human 
body  is  animated  by  a  soul,  and  proposed  to  test  it  for  innate  religious  senti- 
ment. He  wished  to  discover  whether,  unaided  by  any  extraneous  sugges- 
tion, a  child  that  is  blind,  deaf,  and  dumb  will  manifest  an  instinctive  impulse 
towards  religion  or  develop  an  innate  idea  of  a  Supreme  Being.  He  aimed 
to  avoid  anything  that  should  in  any  way  bias  the  convictions  of  the  child,  so 
that  she  might  be  allowed  to  reach  gradually  the  beliefs  that  her  own  con- 
science and  growing  knowledge  would  naturally  attain.  He  had  no  wish  to 
suppress  knowledge  that  led  to  religious  ideas,  nor  to  prevent  the  child's 
inquiries  from  going  in  that  direction.  But  she  must  not  be  indoctrinated. 
She  was  to  be  left  free  to  develop  in  her  own  way. 

Many  of  us,  too,  will  remember  the  proposition  made  not  so  long  ago  by 


I 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  943 

Prof.  Huxley, — sardonically,  as  we  imagine, — to  test  the  efficacy  of  prayer  by 
setting  a  time  for  universal  and  simultaneous  praying.  Another  modern  in- 
stance is  the  calculation  sometimes  ascribed  to  one  Captain  J.  B.  Sharkley, 
of  Boston,  sometimes  to  other  claimants,  which  went  the  rounds  of  the  daily 
press  several  years  ago.  It  has  reference  to  the  text  "  In  my  Father's  house 
are  many  mansions,"  and  is  based  upon  the  description  of  the  New  Jerusalem 
in  Revelation  xxi.  i6  :  "  .A.nd  he  measured  the  city  [the  New  Jerusalem]  with 
the  reed,  twelve  thousand  furlongs.  The  length  and  the  breadth  and  the  height 
of  it  are  equal." 

The  result  is  thus  figured  out :  Twelve  thousand  furlongs  =  7,920,000  feet, 
which,  being  cubed,  is  943,088,000,000,000,000,000,000,000  cubic  feet,  and 
half  of  which  we  will  reserve  for  the  throne  of  God  and  the  court  of  heaven, 
half  of  the  balance  streets,  and  the  remainder  divided  by  4096,  the  nuniber  of 
cubical  feet  in  a  room  sixteen  feet  square  and  sixteen  feet  high,  will  give 
30,843,750,000,000  rooms. 

We  will  now  suppose  that  the  world  always  did  and  always  will  contain 
900,000,000  of  inhabitants,  and  that  a  generation  will  last  thirty-three  and  one- 
third  years — 2,700,000,000,000  persons. 

Then  supp(jse  there  were  one  hundred  worlds,  equal  to  this  in  number  of 
inhabitants  and  duration  of  years  according  to  the  received  chronology  :  there 
would  be  one  hundred  and  twelve  rooms  sixteen  feet  long,  sixteen  feet  wide, 
and  sixteen  feet  high  for  each  person,  and  rooms  to  spare. 

These  deductions  are  of  course  majestic  in  their  volume,  but  are  liable  to 
create  a  ridiculously  wrong  impression  as  to  the  comparative  magnitude  of 
the  space  described,  in  proportion  to  spaces  within  common  knowledge. 

To  begin  with,  the  diameter  of  the  suggested  heaven  is  but  fifteen  hundred 
miles,  which,  cubed,  is  three  thousand  three  hundred  and  seventy -five  millions 
of  miles.  Now,  our  little,  insignificant,  paltry  earth  has  a  diameter  of,  roundly, 
eight  thousand  miles,  or  sixty-four  thousand  furlongs  ;  but,  being  a  globe,  its 
capacity  is,  of  course,  less  than  that  of  a  cube  of  the  like  diameter,  and  allowing, 
roughly,  one-third  as  the  difterence  between  the  globe  and  the  cube  form, 
we  have  the  earth's  dimensions  as  considerably  over  three  hundred  and  forty 
thousand  millions  of  cubic  miles,  or  one  hundred  times  the  dimensions  of  the 
suggested  heaven. 

If  we  carry  the  calculation  a  little  farther,  we  find  that  Jupiter,  with  his 
ninety  thousand  miles  of  diameter,  is  more  than  sixteen  thousand  times  larger 
than  the  supposed  heaven ;  whilst  the  sun,  though  one  of  the  least  in  size  of 
the  great  stars,  seeing  that  his  bulk  is  about  a  million  times  that  of  the  earth, 
would  have  space  within  his  borders  for  more  than  one  hundred  millions  of 
the  heavens  here  described. 

Such  is  the  calculation.  It  has  many  discrepancies,  mathematical  and 
logical.  Such  as  it  is,  we  give  it  in  all  its  simple  and  beautiful  integrity. 
The  figures  are  Captain  Sharkley's,  not  ours. 

Quot  linguae  tot  homines  (L.,  "So  many  languages  so  many  times  a 
man").  The  idea  that  a  man  multiplies  himself  whenever  he  acquires  a  new 
language  is  a  very  ancient  one.  Ennius,  in  the  third  century  B.C.,  was  wont 
to  claim  that  he  had  three  souls,  because  he  was  skilled  in  three  languages  : 
"Tria  corda  habere  sese  quod  loqui  Graece  et  Osce  et  Latine  sciret"  (AuLUS 
Gellius,  xvii.  17).  Vambery  in  his  "Travels  in  Central  Asia,"  p.  259,  after 
recording  the  princely  treatment  he  received  from  the  Emir  of  Bokhara, 
owing  to  his  command  of  the  German  tongue,  continues,  "  I  had  every  reason 
to  appreciate  the  truth  of  the  Latin  proverb, '  Quot  linguas  calles,  tot  homines 
vales.'  "  The  phrase  is  obviously  formed  on  the  basis  of  the  line  in  Terence, 
"  Quot  homines  tot  sententiae"  ("  As  many  men,  so  many  opinions")  {Fhormio, 
II.,  iv.  14). 


g^4  HAN-DY-BOOK  OF 

Quotation  and  Misquotation.  Byron  has  a  fling  at  the  gentlemen  "  with 
just  enough  of  learning  to  misquote."  These  gentlemen  are,  unfortunately, 
very  common.  It  would  indeed  be  advisable,  if  it  were  possible,  to  prevent 
the'corruption  of  our  popular  quotations.  Shakespeare  is  well  enough  as  he 
stands  :  don't  let  us  go  on  talking  of  "the  sere  and  yellow  leaf,"  or  of  "the 
bourne  from  which  no  traveller  returns,"  but  remember  that  what  Macbeth 
really  said  was, 

My  May  of  life  is  fall'n  into  the  sear,  the  yellow  leaf, 

and  that  Hamlet  speaks  of 

The  undiscovered  country  from  ■whose  bourne 
No  traveller  returns. 

The  Declaration  of  Independence  does  not  hold  it  to  be  self-evident  that  all 
men  are  born  free  and  equal,  but  that  all  men  are  created  equal.  Berkeley 
does  not  speak  of  the  star  of  empire,  but  of  the  course  of  empire,  taking  its 
westward  way : 

Westward  the  course  of  empire  takes  its  way. 

"  When  Greeks  joined  Greeks,"  says  Nat  Lee,  "  then  was  the  tug  of  war," 
which  means  the  exact  opposite  of  our  current  corruption,  "  When  Greek 
meets  Greek,  then  comes  the  tug  of  war."  It  was  only  Nat  Lee's  early- 
English  way  of  saying  that  united  they  stood,  divided  they  fell.  Prior's 
line 

Fine  by  degrees  and  beautifully  less 

is  never  quoted  right.     If  you  are  a  betting  man  it  is  not  at  all  unlikely  that 
you  may  win  money  by  laying  odds  that 

Water,  water  everj'where, 

And  not  a  drop  to  drink, 

is  incorrect,  as  indeed  it  is.     The  second  line  should  be 
Nor  any  drop  to  drink. 

You  might  even  make  money  by  giving  your  friend  the  following  passage 
to  read  :  "  And  Samson  said,  With  the  jawbone  of  an  ass,  heaps  upon  heaps, 
with  the  jaw  of  an  ass  have  I  slain  a  thousand  men"  (Judges  xv.  i6).  Nine 
men  out  of  ten  inadvertently  repeat  the  word  jawbone  in  the  second  clause  of 
the  sentence,  not  noticing  that  jaw  simply  has  been  substituted. 

The  Bible,  indeed,  is  a  fertile  field  for  misquotation.  People,  and  among 
these  people  even  clergymen  themselves,  persist  in  alluding  to  the  time  when 
the  lion  shall  lie  down  with  the  lamb,  despite  the  fact  that  the  prophet's 
words  are,  "The  wolf  also  shall  dwell  with  the  lamb,"  etc.  Perhaps  the  apt 
alliteration  of  lion  and  lamb  has    something  to  do  with  this  common  error. 

Another  favorite  misquotation  is  the  following :  "Eye  hath  not  seen,  nor 
ear  heard,  neither  hath  it  entered  into  the  heart  of  man  to  conceive  the  things 
which  God  hath  prepared  for  them  that  love  him."  This  maybe  an  improve- 
ment on  Paul's  words,  but  as  a  matter  of  fact  there  is  no  such  verse  in  the 
Bible.  The  Authorized  Version  says,  "Eye  hath  not  seen,  nor  ear  heard, 
neither  have  entered  into  the  heart  of  man,"  etc.  Yet  the  verse,  though 
introduced  into  half  the  sermons  that  are  preached,  is  rarely  by  any  chance 
rendered  by  the  preacher  as  it  actually  stands. 

Congreve  wrote, — 

Music  hath  charms  to  soothe  a  savage  breast, 
To  soften  rocks,  or  bend  a  knotted  oak. 

Ihe  Mourning  Bride,  Act  i.,  Sc.  i. 
This  is  often  misquoted  with  "the  savage  beast"  substituted  for  "a  savage 
breast,"  and  some  refer  it  to  Act  v.,  Sc.   i,  of  the  "Merchant  of  Venice." 
For  the  change  there  is  no  textual  authority.     Savage  breast  is  an  inclusive 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  945 

phrase,  and  man  as  well  as  beast  comes  rightly  within  its  scope.  In  the  very 
speech  of  Lorenzo  referred  to  there  are  several  lines  which  just  as  pointedly 
prove  that  the  breast  is  the  sphere  of  music's  charms.  "  It  is  curious,  how- 
ever," says  a  correspondent  of  Notes  and  Queries  (seventh  series,  iv.  175), 
"how  wide-spread  the  belief  in  the  unorthodox  reading  seems  to  be.  I  re- 
member hearing  how,  when  once  upon  a  time  the  line  was  misquoted  at  a 
civic  banquet,  a  well-known  poet  and  critic  who  was  present  was  heard  to 
interpolate, — 

'Tis  therefore  welcome  at  a  Lord  Mayor's  feast. 

But  whether  this  was  in  resentment  at  the  misquotation,  or  for  other  reasons, 
I  cannot  say." 

Gray's  line  in  the  famous  Elegy, 

They  kept  the  noiseless  tenor  of  their  way, 
is  constantly  misquoted 

They  kept  the  even  tenor  of  their  way. 
Pope  said, — 

Vice  is  a  monster  of  so  frightful  mien 
As  to  be  hated  needs  but  to  be  seen. 

He  is  usually  made  to  say, — 

Vice  is  a  monster  of  such  hideous  mien,  etc. 
Scott's  lines. 

Oh,  what  a  tangled  web  we  weave 
When  first  we  practise  to  deceive, 

Marrnion,  Canto  vi..  Stanza  4, 

are  usually  misread  with  the  substitution  of  "  venture"  for  "  practise."  Shake- 
speare, by  the  way,  says, — 

I  will  not  practise  to  deceive. 

King  John,  Act  i.,  Sc.  i. 
Pope  again  said, — 

Waller  was  smooth,  but  Dryden  taught  to  join 
The  varying  verse,  the  full  resounding  line, 
The  long  majestic  march,  and  energy  divine. 

Imitations  of  Horace,  Bk.  II.,  Ep.  i.,  1.  267. 

Gray  evidently  had  Pope  in  mind  when,  after  eulogizing  Milton,  he  went 
on, — 

Behold  where  Dryden's  less  presumptuous  car 

Wide  o'er  the  fields  of  glory  bear 

Two  coursers  of  ethereal  race, 

With  necks  in  thunder  clothed  and  long  resounding  pace. 

Progress  of  Poetry. 

It  is  very  common  to  confound  these  two  passages  and  to  give  a  combined 
reading  as  a  quotation  from  Pope, — as  in  Stopford  Brooke's  "  Primer  of 
English  Literature,"  p.  127, — 

The  long  resounding  march  and  energy  divine. 

Another  common  error  is  the  miscrediting  of  quotations.  The  champion 
instance  is  "  God  tempers  the  wind  to  the  shorn  lamb."  Out  of  a  hundred 
people  ninety  will  say  that  this  line  is  from  the  Book  of  Proverbs,  nine  will 
credit  it  to  some  portion  of  the  New  Testament,  only  one,  perhaps,  will 
know  that  it  is  not  in  the  Bible  at  all,  but  in  Sterne's  "  Sentimental  Journey." 
On  the  other  hand,  how  many  people  know  that  such  colloquialisms  as 
"escaped  with  the  skin  of  my  teeth,"  "at  their  wits'  end,"  "fat  as  grease," 
are  from  the  Bible  (Job  xix.  20  ;  Ps.  cvii.  27  ;  Ps.  cxix.  70),  and  that  "  picking 
and  stealing"  is  in  the  catechism  of  the  Book  of  Common  Prayer  } 

To  take  the  other  side  of  the  case,  the  phrase  "  he  who  runs  may  read" 
is  usually  referred  to  Habakkuk  ii.  2 :  "  And  the  Lord  answered  me,  and 
kkk 


946  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

said,  Write  the  vision,  and  make  it  plain  upon  tables,  that  he  may  run  that 
readeth  it."  . 

It  is  rarely  used  in  any  other  sense  than  this,— that  the  wntmg  is  so  legible 
that  a  man  can  read  it  as  he  runs.  But  it  has  been  objected  that  the  Hebrew 
prophet  from  whom  the  quotation  is  taken  neither  said  nor  thought  of  saying 
anything  of  the  kind.  Habakkuk  is  foretelling  the  devastation  which  the 
Lord  would  permit  the  Chaldeans  to  inflict  upon  the  land  because  of  the  un- 
godliness of  the  Jewish  people,  and  he  is  directed  to  explain  the  vision  so 
clearly  that  any  one  who  reads  what  is  written  upon  the  tables  may  under- 
stand it,  and  run  away,  and  escape  from  the  coming  vengeance.  It  is  not 
that  he  may  run  and  read,  but  that  he  may  read  and  run.  This  is  well  and 
good  ;  but,  after  all,  there  is  no  reason  to  look  upon  the  usual  reading  as 
a  misquotation  from  Habakkuk.  The  very  words  occur  in  Cowper's  "  Tiro- 
cinium :" 

Shine  by  the  side  of  every  path  we  tread 

With  such  a  lustre,  he  that  runs  may  read. 

It  is  possible,  of  course,  that  Cowper  may  have  misquoted  Habakkuk.  But 
the  phrase  he  uses  is  an  excellent  one,  and  one  that  often  comes  in  very  handy. 
Habakkuk  was  a  worthy  gentleman,  no  doubt,  as  well  as  a  minor  prophet.  But 
because  he  (or  his  translators)  once  spoke  of  a  man  running  because  he  read, 
— a  phrase  which  might  conceivably  come  in  on  a  "  Trespassers-will-be- 
prosecuted"  notice,  but  otherwise  not  of  general  application,— are  we  and  the 
rest  of  the  non-prophetic  world  to  be  debarred  from  mentioning  things  writ 
so  large  that  he  who  runs  may  read  ? 

A  very  popular  jest  tells  how  two  august  members  of  Congress  laid  a  wager 
on  an  abstruse  point.  One  bet  the  other  that  he  could  not  repeat  the  Lord's 
Prayer.     The  challenged  party  straightway  commenced, — 

"  Now  I  lay  me  down  to  sleep, 

I  pray  the  Lord  my  soul  to  keep " 

"The  money's  yours,"  interrupted  the  challenger;  "but  I  really  didn't 
think  you  knew  it."  An  equally  good  story  is  told  of  an  English  M.P.,  a 
gentleman  of  sporting  proclivities,  who  knew  more  about  race-horses  than 
about  the  Bible.  Out  of  pure  mischief  he  was  asked  by  one  of  his  constitu- 
ents if  he  would  vote  for  the  abolition  of  the  Decalogue.  Not  knowing  what 
that  was,  but  anxious  to  preserve  his  own  consistency,  he  replied,  "  I  won't 
pledge  myself,  but  Fll  give  it  my  consideration." 

An  especially  cruel  form  of  misquotation  is  that  which  credits  (or  discredits) 
a  man  with  some  perversion  of  a  sentiment  that  makes  him  odious  or  ridicu- 
lous to  his  fellow-men.  Sir  Robert  Walpole,  for  example,  is  persistently  said 
to  have  expressed  the  cynical  opinion  that  "  All  men  have  their  price."  What 
he  really  said  is  thus  explained  by  Coxe  in  the  "Memoirs  of  Walpole:" 
"  Flowery  oratory  he  despised.  He  ascribed  to  the  interested  views  of  them- 
selves or  their  relatives  the  declarations  of  pretended  patriots,  of  whom  he 
said, 'All  those  men  have  their  price.'" 

It  was  Byron  who  borrowed  the  phrase  and  made  it  universal  in  its  appli- 
cation.    But  Byron  thought  he  was  copying  from  Walpole : 

But  all  have  prices, 
From  crowns  to  kicks,  according  to  their  vices. 

Don  Juan,  Canto  v..  Stanza  27. 

Chief- Justice  Taney  did  not  say,  "The  negro  has  no  rights  which  a  white 
man  is  bound  to  respect,"  but  that  people  formerly  thought  so  :  he  expressed 
horror  of  the  sentiment,  instead  of  endorsing  it.  The  error  is  so  wide-spread 
and  has  heaped  so  much  unwarranted  odium  on  the  memory  of  a  good  man 
that  it  is  worth  while  to  quote  entire  the  paragraph  in  which  the  words  occur. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  94> 

Here  it  is  :  "  It  is  difficult  at  this  day  to  realize  the  state  of  public  opinion  in 
regard  to  that  unfortunate  race  which  prevailed  in  the  civilized  and  enlightened 
portions  of  the  world  at  the  time  of  the  Declaration  of  Independence,  and 
when  the  Constitution  of  the  United  States  was  framed  and  adopted  ;  but 
the  public  history  of  every  European  nation  displays  it  in  a  manner  too  plain 
to  be  mistaken.  They  had  for  more  than  a  century  before  been  regarded  as 
beings  of  an  inferior  order,  and  altogether  unfit  to  associate  with  the  white 
race,  either  in  social  or  political  relations,  and  so  far  unfit  that  they  had  no 
rights  which  the  white  man  was  bound  to  respect." 

"  Racine  passera  comme  le  cafe"  {"  Racine  will  pass  away  like  coffee")  is 
an  absurdity  laid  to  the  door  of  Madame  de  Sevigne,  by  the  process  of  dove- 
tailing parts  of  two  letters.  Yet  Voltaire  seriously  repeats  the  phrase  in  his 
preface  to  "Irene." 


R,  the  eighteenth  letter  and  fourteenth  consonant  in  the  English  alphabet, 
representing  a  character  having  alike  position  and  value  in  the  Latin,  Greek, 
and  Phoenician  alphabets.  The  Greeks  wrote  the  letter  P.  The  tag  below 
the  curve,  by  which  the  Latins  and  their  successors  differentiate  the  R  from 
the  P  sign,  was  originally  made  by  the  Greeks,  but  abandoned  when  they  had 
invented  a  new  sign,  11,  for  their/.  Owing  to  what  is  known  as  the  "rolling 
of  the  r's," — i.e.,  a  trilling  and  vibration  of  the  tip  of  the  tongue  in  the  pro- 
nunciation of  the  letter,  more  common  among  the  Keltic  and  Latin  than 
among  the  distinctly  Teutonic  races, — the  letter  is  sometimes  known  as  the 
"litera  canina,"  "dog's  letter." 

The  famous  toast  to  "the  three  R's — reading,  'riting,  and  'rithmetic" — is 
usually  accredited  to  Sir  William  Curtis,  Bart.,  Lord  Mayor  of  London  in 
1795,  and  for  many  years  one  of  the  wardens  of  the  Tower.  He  proposed  it 
at  a  dinner  given  by  the  Board  of  Education  in  the  days  when  Dr.  Bell  and 
the  Quaker  Lancaster  were  pleading  for  increased  educational  advantages  for 
the  poor.  It  was  received  with  great  applause  and  drunk  amid  much  merri- 
ment. But,  though  recognized  as  a  jest  at  the  time,  it  was  afterwards  taken 
up  in  earnest  by  Sir  William's  detractors,  who  have  handed  his  name  down 
to  posterity  as  a  blundering  ignoramus.  A  writer  in  Notes  and  Queries  says 
that  an  aged  member  of  the  corporation,  now  deceased,  assured  him  that 
Sir  William  Curtis,  although  a  man  of  limited  education,  was  very  shrewd, 
and  not  so  ignorant  as  to  suppose  his  presumed  orthography  was  correct. 
He  chose  the  phrase  simply  as  a  joke. 

Radicals,  the  sobriquet  of  the  members  of  the  extreme  democratic  wing 
of  the  Liberal  party  in  Great  Britain,  first  applied  as  a  party  name  in  181 8  to 
Major  Cartwright,  Henry  Hunt,  and  others  forming  a  coterie  whose  platform 
was  a  radical  reform  of  the  system  of  parliamentary  representation  and  of 
the  electoral  franchise.  Also  a  Southern  sobriquet  for  Republicans  much  used 
during  the  carpet-bag  regime,  and  still  in  vogue,  though  possibly  with  less 
asperity. 

Rag-Baby,  in  American  jiolitical  slang,  a  humorous   personification  of 
the  greenback  currency.     It  was  used  with  great  effect  by  speakers  and  cari- 
caturists in  the  Presidential  campaign  of  1876.     The  use  of  the  word  rags  in 
the  sense  of  paper  money  dates  back  to  the  second  quarter  of  the  century : 
Oh,  times  are  very  hard,  folks  say. 

And  very  well  too  we  know  it ; 
And  therefore  the  best  way 
Is  while  you're  young  to  go  it. 


948  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  banks  are  all  clean  broke. 

Their  rags  are  good  for  naught. 
The  specie's  all  bespoke. 

So  certainly  we  ought 
To  go  it  while  we're  young. 

Song  of -i-^ip. 

'  Ragman  Roll.  When  Edward  I.  of  England  overran  Scotland  in  1296, 
he  endeavored  to  carry  off  or  destroy  all  records,  monuments,  etc.,  that 
referred  to  the  separate  existence  of  tlie  nation.  On  his  southward  progress 
he  summoned  all  the  nobility  and  leading  men,  lay  and  clerical,  to  meet  him 
at  Berwick.  He  held  a  court  there,  August  28,  1296,  and  caused  the  Scots  to 
subscribe  oaths  of  homage  and  allegiance  to  him.  The  list  there  made  up 
consists  of  thirty-five  skins  of  parchment,  and  is  known  as  the  "  Ragman 
Roll."  It  is  kept  in  the  British  archives,  and  was  printed  in  cxtenso  by  the 
Bannatyne  Club  in  1834.  After  the  overthrow  of  the  English  rule  in  Scot- 
land, a  treaty  was  entered  into  at  Northampton,  May  4,  1328,  between  Robert 
Bruce  and  Edward  III.  A  marriage  was  arranged  between  Edward's  sister 
Joanna  and  young  David  Bruce.  The  independence  of  Scotland  was  guar- 
anteed, and  much  of  the  first  Edward's  plunder  was  to  be  restored, — among 
other  things,  the  famous  Stone  of  Scone  and  the  Ragman  Roll.  The  child- 
marriage  was  celebrated  at  Berwick,  and  the  Roll  was  returned,  though  the 
Stone  of  Destiny  was  retained.  The  Ragman  Roll  is  still  valuable,  as  con- 
taining the  earliest  statistical  facts  concerning  Scotland.  The  etymology  of 
the  word  "Ragman"  seems  to  be  very  obscure.  Jamieson  gives  several 
possible  derivations,  but  does  not  seem  sure  of  any  of  them.  In  "  Piers  Plow- 
man's Vision"  {circa  1390)  the  word  "  Rageman"  is  applied  to  the  devil.  As 
Edward's  Roll  was,  in  the  eyes  of  the  Scots,  a  veiy  work  of  the  devil,  several 
writers  accept  this  as  the  true  origin  of  the  term  prefixed  to  the  Roll.  The 
word  "  Ragman"  is  found  in  many  of  the  old  authors,  and  with  varied  spell- 
ing. It  seems  to  be  an  ancient  legal  designation  for  a  deed  or  agreement, 
and  so  was  applied  to  the  indenture  which  bound  the  Scottish  nobles,  bur- 
gesses, etc.,  to  the  service  of  Edward  I.  In  the  novel  of  "  The  Antiquary," 
Scott  makes  Sir  Arthur  Wardour  assert  the  educational  standing  of  his 
family  by  stating  that  the  name  of  his  ancestor  Sir  Gamelyn  "is  written 
fairly  with  his  own  hand  in  the  earliest  copy  of  the  Ragman  Roll,"  to  which 
Mr.  Oldbuck  retorted  that  it  only  served  to  show  "  he  was  one  of  the  earliest 
who  set  the  mean  example  of  submitting  to  Edward  I." 

Rail-Splitter.  Abraham  Lincoln,  sixteenth  President  of  the  United  States, 
was  frequently  referred  to  by  this  name.  The  allusion  is  to  an  experience 
in  his  younger  days,  when  he  is  said  to  have  supported  himself  over  one  winter 
by  splitting  rails  for  a  farmer. 

Raise,  To,  or  Make  a  raise, — probably  an  abbreviation  of  the  older  collo- 
quialism "  to  raise  the  wind," — an  Americanism,  meaning  to  procure  money 
by  pawning,  borrowing,  or  otherwise. 

The  verb  to  raise  is  also  used  as  an  American  equivalent  for  the  English 
rear.  But  it  is  not  a  pure  Americanism,  it  is  rather  a  survival,  and  the  word  may 
be  found  in  the  American  sense  in  the  memoirs  of  Lord  Herbert  of  Cherbury. 

Monsignor  Capel  was  the  subject  of  a  talk  the  other  evening,  the  spokeswoman  of  the  party 
being  the  daughter  of  our  ex-minister  to  a  foreign  court,  and  a  Catholic.  "  I  don't  like  the 
man,"  she  said  ;  "he  is  ill-mannered.  It  was  this  way.  I  was  talking  to  him,  and  in  some 
way  referred  to  my  youth,  and  said  I  had  been  raised  in  Kentucky.  '  But,  madam,'  he  said, 
with  provoking  irrelevancy,  and  in  a  tone  of  supercilious  criticism,  '  you  should  not  say 
raised.  Bred  is  better:  we  say  so  in  England.'  '  Do  you?'  I  answered,  with  considerable 
warmth  ;  '  well,  I  don't.  In  Kentucky  we  breed  cattle  and  horses  and  mules,  and  raise 
children.'  Then  I  turned  my  back  on  him  quite  as  politely  as  he  had  begun  the  dispute,  and 
1  {eh  better." -l^aihingion  Post.  ^  t-  J  or. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  949 

Ranch,  a  word  derived  from  the  Spanish  rancko,  a  mess,  a  set  of  persons 
who  eat  and  drink  together,  or  a  mess-room.  The  Spanish  term  also  meant 
a  cattle-station  or  a  hunting-lodge  far  away  from  the  haunts  of  men.  Among 
the  Mexicans  the  word  rancho  came  to  signify  the  rude  hut  of  posts,  covered 
with  branches  or  thatch,  in  which  the  ranchmen  or  farm-laborers  lived  or  only 
lodged  at  nights,  and  later  embraced  the  small  farm  or  peasant  village.  The 
term  hacienda  is  used  for  the  large  and  extensive  plantations.  In  our  language 
the  word  ranch  is  used  to  signify  both  large  and  small  plantations,  and  also 
the  buildings  upon  them.  The  proper  name  for  buildings  upon  a  raticho  is 
rancheria,  but  the  latter  word  has  not  been  adopted,  and  so  the  shorter  is  used 
for  both  building  and  plantation. 

Rap,  Not  worth  a,  a  term  derived  probably  from  the  letters  forming  the 
heading  of  Indian  money  columns  in  account-books,  R.  A.  P.,  rneaning  rupees, 
annas,  and  pice.  In  Indian  accounts  these  letters  are  used  in  precisely  the 
same  manner  as  the  English  £,  s.  d. 

Rat — Rats.  The  first  appearance  of  this  word  in  an  opprobrious  sense 
was  in  the  early  part  of  the  eighteenth  century,  when  it  was  political  siang 
for  a  turncoat,  a  traitor,  a  renegade.  Evidently  the  term  is  borrowed  from 
the  proverb  "  Rats  leave  a  sinking  ship." 

It  is  in  view  of  this  sense  of  a  traitor,  of  one  who  goes  over  to  the  enemy'.s 
camp,  that  printers  apply  the  term  rat  to  a  compositor  or  pressman  who  does 
not  belong  to  the  Typographical  Union,  and  who  plays  into  the  hands  of 
capital  by  consenting  to  work  at  a  rate  lower  than  that  fixed  by  the  Union. 

From  the  French  proverb  "  Avoir  des  rats  dans  la  tete"  (see  Bee  in  the 
Bonnet)  we  probably  get  our  American  slang  "he  has  rats,"  or  "he  has 
rats  in  his  garret,"  sometimes  intensified  "  and  he  has  got  them  bad,"  mean- 
ing that  he  is  crazy,  demented,  or  has  delirium  tremens.  In  the  latter  case 
the  phrase  is  cognate  with  "  he  has  the  rams,"  or  "  he  sees  snakes,"  and  may 
have  grown  up  independently  from  the  imaginary  animals  seen  by  men  in  that 
state.  "  Rats  !"  is  in  America  an  expression  of  contemptuous  sarcasm  or 
indifference. 

Rawhead-and-bloody -bones,  a  former  spectre  of  the  nursery,  inspiring 
as  much  awe  among  the  nurses  as  among  their  charges. 

Servants  awe  children,  and  keep  them  in  subjection,  by  telling  them  of  Rawhead-and- 
bloody-bones. — Locke. 

In  short,  he  became  the  bugbear  of  every  house,  and  was  as  effective  in  frightening  little 
children  into  obedience  and  hysterics  as  the  redoubtable  Rawhead-and-bloody-bones  himself. 
— W.  Ikving  :  Spectre  Bridegroom. 

Real  people  in  fiction.  When  the  Autocrat  of  the  Breakfast-Table 
was  asked  why  he  did  not  write  a  novel,  he  answered  that,  in  the  first  place, 
he  should  tell  all  his  secrets  (and  he  maintained  that  verse  is  the  proper 
medium  for  such  revelations),  and,  in  the  second  place,  he  was  terribly  afraid 
he  should  show  up  all  his  friends.  "  I  should  like  to  know  if  all  story-tellers 
do  not  do  this..  Now,  I  am  afraid  all  my  friends  would  not  bear  showing  up 
well,  if  they  have  an  average  share  of  the  common  weaknesses  of  humanity, 
which  I  am  pretty  certain  would  come  out.  Of  all  that  have  told  stories 
among  us,  there  is  hardly  one  I  can  recall  who  has  not  drawn  too  faithfully 
some  living  portrait,  which  might  better  have  been  sjiared." 

One  of  the  torments  of  authorship  is  that  so  many  people  are  possessed 
with  the  idea  that  the  hero  or  heroine  of  a  story  or  poem  is  the  author's  own 
self,  or  that  such  and  such  an  unpleasant  character  is  copied  from  his  neigh- 
bor. In  Dr.  Holland's  "Bitter-Sweet"  one  of  the  characters  is  a  man  of 
good  birth  and  education  who  fell  so  far  from  grace  that  his  wife  one  day 
80 


95 o  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

beheld  him  about  to  make  a  balloon-ascension  with  a  woman  a  great  deal 
worse  than  she  should  have  been.  He  was  subsequently  reclaimed,  but  the 
author  often  wished  he  had  allowed  him  to  die,  for  some  readers,  who  did  not 
know  Dr.  Holland,  imagined  the  author  was  the  original  of  this  sorry  char- 
acter. Thackeray  was  continually  identified  with  Pendennis,  who,  if  he  re- 
sembles him  at  all,  resembles  him  in  his  less  pleasant  traits.  Other  authors 
have  been  identified  by  turns  with  their  own  romantic  heroes  and  their 
desperate  villains.  Amelie  Rives,  it  has  been  persistently  asserted,  drew  her 
own  portrait  in  the  morbid,  hysterical  heroine  of  "The  Quick  or  the  Dead  ?" 
In  the  preface  to  that  novel  she  insisted  that  the  critics  had  done  her  a  great 
though  unconscious  honor  in  assuming  that  she  intended  Barbara  for  herself, 
as  in  doing  so  they  had  attributed  to  her  an  absolute  honesty  and  an  absence 
of  vanity  such  as  few  mortals  have  been  credited  with.  Barbara  is  beautiful 
in  face  and  form,  but  all  her  idiosyncrasies  are  such  as  no  woman  would  care 
to  accuse  herself  of. 

Such  experiences  are  unpleasant  enough,  but  they  are  no  more  unpleasant 
than  to  be  accused  of  having  unconsciously  caricatured  your  friends  and  rela- 
tives. In  his  article  on  "The  Critic  on  the  Hearth,"  James  Payn  probably 
draws  upon  his  own  experience  when  he  makes  a  country  cousin  write  as 
follows  :  "  Helen,  who  has  just  been  here,  is  immensely  delighted  with  your 
satirical  sketch  of  her  husband  ;  he,  however,  as  you  may  imagine,  is  wild, 
and  says  you  had  better  withdraw  your  name  from  the  candidates'  book  at 
his  club.  I  do  not  know  how  many  black  balls  exclude,  but  he  has  a  good 
many  friends  here." 

After  the  publication  of  "The  House  of  the  Seven  Gables,"  Hawthorne 
was  worried  by  people  who  insisted  that  they,  or  their  families  in  the  present 
or  past  generations,  had  been  deeply  wronged  by  his  book.  One  man  wrote 
complaining  that  his  grandfather  had  been  made  infamous  in  the  character  of 
Judge  Pyncheon.  Now,  his  grandfather.  Judge  Pyncheon  by  name,  was  a 
Tory  and  refugee  resident  in  Salem  at  the  period  of  the  Revolution,  whom 
the  correspondent  described  as  the  most  exemplary  old  gentleman  in  the 
world.  He  therefore  considered  himself  infinitely  wronged  and  aggrieved, 
and  thought  it  monstrous  that  the  virtuous  dead  could  not  be  suffered  to  rest 
quietly  in  their  graves.  "The  joke  of  the  matter  is,"  says  Hawthorne,  in  a 
letter  to  Fields,  "that  I  never  heard  of  his  grandfather,  nor  knew  that  any 
Pyncheons  had  ever  lived  in  Salem,  but  took  the  name  because  it  suited  the 
tone  of  my  book  and  was  as  much  my  property  for  fictitious  purposes  as  that 
of  Smith.  I  have  pacified  him  by  a  very  polite  and  gentlemanly  letter  ;  and 
if  ever  you  publish  any  more  of  'The  Seven  Gables'  I  should  like  to  write  a 
brief  preface  expressive  of  my  anguish  for  this  unintentional  wrong,  and 
making  the  best  reparation  possible,  else  these  wretched  old  Pyncheons  will 
have  no  peace  in  the  other  world  nor  in  this."  A  few  weeks  later  he  wrote 
again,  "  I  have  just  received  a  letter  from  still  another  claimant  of  the  Pyn- 
cheon estate.  I  wonder  if  ever,  and  how  soon,  I  shall  get  a  just  estimate  of 
how  many  jackasses  there  are  in  this  ridiculous  world.  My  correspondent, 
by  the  way,  estimates  the  number  of  these  Pyncheon  jackasses  at  about 
twenty.  I  am  doubtless  to  be  remonstrated  with  by  each  individual.  After 
exchanging  shots  with  each  one  of  them,  I  shall  get  you  to  publish  the  whole 
correspondence  in  a  style  to  match  that  of  my  other  works,  and  I  anticipate 
a  great  run  for  the  volume." 

Thackeray  drew  down  upon  himself  the  indignation  of  the  whole  Irish  pub- 
lic by  taking  as  the  heroine  of  his  story  of  "Catherine"  a  famous  murderess 
named  Catherine  Hayes,  which  happened  to  be  exactly  the  same  name  as 
that  of  a  famous  Irish  songstress.  Professor  Maurice  was  in  early  life  the 
author  of  a  novel  called  "  Eustace  Conway,  or  the  Brother  and  Sister."    He 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  95 1 

sold  the  manuscript  to  Beiuley  about  the  year  1830,  but,  the  excitement 
caused  by  the  Reform  Bill  being  unfavorable  to  light  literature,  it  was  not 
issued  until  1834.  The  villain  of  the  novel  was  called  Captain  Marryat,  and 
Professor  Maurice  had  soon  the  pleasure  of  receiving  a  challenge  from  the 
celebrated  Captain  Marryat.  Great  was  the  latter's  astonishment  on  learn- 
ing that  the  anonymous  author  of  "  Eustace  Conway"  had  never  heard  of  the 
biographer  of  "  Peter  Simple,"  and,  being  in  holy  orders,  was  obliged  to  de- 
cline to  indulge  in  a  duel. 

Mr.  F.  W.  H.  Myers  tells  the  story  of  how  one  day  George  Eliot  and  her 
husband  were  making  good-humored  fun  over  the  mistaken  effusiveness  of  a 
too  sympathizing  friend  who  insisted  on  assuming  that  Mr.  Casaubon  was 
a  portrait  of  Mr.  Lewes,  and  on  condoling  with  the  sad  experiences  which  had 
taught  the  gifted  authoress  of  "  Middlemarch"  to  depict  that  gloomy  man. 
"And  there  was  indeed  something  ludicrous,"  says  Mr.  Myers,  "in  the  con- 
trast between  the  dreary  pedant  of  the  novel  and  the  good-natured  self-content 
of  the  living  savant  who  stood  acting  his  vivid  anecdotes  before  our  eyes." 
"  But  from  whom,  then,"  said  a  friend,  turning  to  Mrs.  Lewes,  "did  you  draw 
Casaubon  ?"  With  a  humorous  solemnity,  which  was  quite  in  earnest,  how- 
ever, she  pointed  to  her  own  heart. 

Charlotte  Bronte's  "Jane  Eyre,"  it  will  be  remembered,  was  dedicated  to 
William  M.  Thackeray,  who  had  only  recently  published  his  "Vanity  Fair." 
A  critic  surmised  with  infinite  ingenuity  that  Currer  Bell,  whom  he  assumed 
to  be  a  woman,  might  be  the  original  of  Thackeray's  Becky  Sharp,  who 
in  revenge  had  turned  around  and  portrayed  her  caricaturist  as  Rochester. 
(See  Reviews,  Curiosities  of.)  This,  of  course,  was  simply  laughable. 
But  Charlotte  Bronte  got  into  more  serious  difficulties  with  regard  to  her  too 
life-like  local  portraits  in  "  Shirley."  Mrs.  Gaskell  says  of  her  Yorkshire 
sketches  in  this  book,  "  People  recognized  themselves  or  were  recognized  by 
others  in  her  graphic  descriptions  of  their  personal  appearance  and  modes  of 
action  and  turns  of  thought,  though  they  were  placed  in  new  positions  and 
figured  away  in  scenes  far  different  to  those  in  which  their  actual  life  had  been 
passed."  The  three  curates  were  real  living  men  haunting  Haworth  and  the 
neighboring  districts,  so  obtuse  in  perception  "  that,  after  the  first  burst  of 
anger  at  having  their  ways  and  habits  chronicled  was  over,  they  rather  en- 
joyed the  joke  of  calling  one  another  by  the  names  she  had  given  them." 
Yet  Charlotte  Bronte  had  never  supposed  they  would  be  recognized.  In  a 
letter  to  a  friend  she  expressly  says,  "  You  are  not  to  suppose  any  of  the 
characters  in  '  Shirley'  are  intended  as  literal  portraits.  It  would  not  suit  the 
rules  of  art,  nor  of  my  own  feelings,  to  write  in  that  style.  We  only  suffer 
reality  to  suggest,  never  to  dictate.''' 

Dickens's  "  Bleak  House"  almost  lost  him  the  friendship  of  Walter  Savage 
Landor,  who  recognized  himself  as  Boythorn,  and  of  Leigh  Hunt,  who  was 
deeply  wounded  by  the  only  too  evident  portraiture  of  himself  as  Harold 
Skimi^ole.  Dickens,  indeed,  printed  a  very  lame  apology  for  the  caricature, 
in  which  he  disclaimed  any  intention  of  pillorying  his  friend.  As  a  rule,  he 
was  successful  in  avoiding  too  marked  a  resemblance  to  the  lay  figure  which 
had  unconsciously  posed  to  him.  His  method  was  to  take  some  strikingly 
singular  trait  of  character,  some  phenomenon  in  human  nature,  and  surround 
it  with  qualities  totally  different  from  those  found  in  the  original.  Thus  he 
preserved  the  reality  without  exposing  his  model. 

We  are  not  told  whether  the  elder  Dickens  descried  himself  in  Micawber, 
but  it  is  certain  that  very  few  people  did  until  after  the  publication  of  Fors- 
ter's  biography.  And  was  it  of  his  own  mother  that  Dickens  says,  in  the 
preface  to  "Nicholas  Nickleby,"  "  Mrs.  Nickleby,  sitting  bodily  before  me, 
once  asked  whether  I  really  believed  there  ever  was  such  a  woman"  ?    Fors- 


952  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

ter,  who  is  grave  over  the  complications  which  grew  out  of  Harold  Skimpole, 
was  unconsciously  the  model  of  Kenny  Meadows's  portrait  of  Master  Froth. 
All  writers  have  not  been  so  anxious  to  spare  the  feelings  of  their  victims ; 
indeed,  many  of  them  have  purposely  used  the  novel  or  the  drama  as  a  me- 
dium for  satirizing  their  enemies.  Perhaps  the  earliest  instance  in  the  history 
of  literature  is  that  of  Aristophanes,  who  brought  Alcibiades,  Socrates,  and 
Euripides  upon  the  stage  in  their  own  proper  persons  in  order  to  heap  sar- 
casm and  ridicule  upon  them.  Dante,  it  is  well  known,  put  his  enemies  into 
hell.  He  was  imitated  by  Michael  Angelo  in  his  fresco  of  "  The  Last  Judg- 
ment." It  is  said  that  a  cardinal,  who  had  found  his  portrait  among  Michael 
Angelo's  damned,  hastened  to  complain  to  the  Pope.  "Are  you  sure  that  he 
has  put  you  in  hell  ?"  said  the  latter.  "  Yes,"  cried  the  cardinal.  "  Then 
there  is  no  hope  for  you.  If  he  had  put  you  in  purgatory  I  might  have  ob- 
tained your  release  ;  but  out  of  hell  there  is  no  redemption." 

The  Elizabethan  dramatists,  as  a  rule,  adopted  the  transparent  veil  of  a 
fictitious  name  when  they  brought  an  adversary  upon  the  stage  ;  and  this 
custom  has  been  generally  followed  up  to  the  present  time,  the  only  recent 
exception  being  that  of  "Cape  Cod  Folks,"  a  novel  which  had  more  or  less 
kindly  caricatures  of  living  people  under  their  actual  names.  It  will  be 
remembered  that  this  novel  brought  on  a  law-suit,  which  advertised  the  book 
very  extensively  and  which  was  eventually  compromised. 

Dryden's  satires,  which  were  avowedly  directed  against  the  statesmen  and 
literary  men  of  whom  he  disapproved,  always  veiled  their  names  under  some 
transparent  disguise  ;  but  this  was  done  to  add  piquancy  to  his  wit  and  verisi- 
militude to  the  allegorical  form  which  he  adopted,  rather  than  from  any  desire 
to  spare  the  feelings  of  his  victims.  Pope  occasionally,  but  not  always,  fol- 
lowed Dryden's  example.  "  The  Rape  of  the  Lock"  and  the  "  Imitations  of 
Horace"  need  a  key  ;  but  not  so  "The  Dunciad,"  which  brings  all  the  Grub 
Street  authors  upon  the  stage  under  their  own  names.  In  the  original  poem 
the  criticaster  Theobald  had  been  pilloried  as  the  monarch  of  the  dunces,  but 
in  the  mean  while  Pope  had  fallen  out  with  Colley  Cibber,  and  the  vengeful 
little  poet  gratified  his  spite  at  the  expense  of  justice  by  substituting  the  name 
of  that  very  clever  man  for  Theobald's  in  his  second  edition. 

Byron,  who  was  always  an  admirer  of  Pope,  and  began  his  poetical  life  as 
an  imitator  of  him,  was  equally  free  with  the  names  of  the  supposed  critical 
foes  whom  he  attacked  in  his  "  English  Bards  and  Scotch  Reviewers."  It  is 
interesting  to  note  that  most  of  them  (even  Jeffrey,  with  whom  he  fought  a 
duel)  became  subsequently  his  warm  personal  friends. 

Bulwer's  passage  at  arms  with  Tennyson  is  one  of  the  curiosities  of  liter- 
ature, and  as  such  has  been  chronicled  under  the  head  of  New  Timon. 

Bulwer  had  always  shown  a  predilection  for  hitting  back.  When  the 
AthencEum  attacked  his  "  Devereux"  he  retorted  in  his  next  novel,  "  Paul 
Clifford,"  by  satirizing  it  under  the  name  of  the  Asinceum  and  its  editor  under 
the  name  of  Peter  McGrawler.  In  a  rather  good-natured  review  of  "  Paul 
Clifford"  the  Athenmim  said,  "  The  character  of  the  editor,  McGrawler,  is 
skilfully  and  delicately  drawn.  This  luckless  gentleman,  failing  to  live  by 
the  AsincE7im,  turns  pickpocket,  then  highwayman,  then  king's  evidence 
against  his  kindest  friend,  then  hangman,  and  lastly  a  writer  in  Blackwood's 
Magazine.  Our  limits  do  not  allow  us  to  dwell  longer  on  this  painful  subject, 
so  we  must  leave  the  public  to  applaud  the  refinement  and  judiciousness  of 
this  attack,  and  take  leave  of  our  assailant  with  a  confession  of  the  over- 
whelming confusion  we  feel." 

This  novel  of  "  Paul  Clifford"  is  Bulwer's  most  serious  offence  in  the  way 
of  exciting  vulgar  curiosity  by  burlesques  of  living  notables.  Thus,  Gentle- 
man George,  the  keeper  of  a  low  boozing-den,  is  intended  for  the  reigning 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  953 

monarch,  George  IV.,  Bachelor  Bill  for  the  Duke  of  Devorrshire,  etc.  This 
sort  of  personalities  had  been  borrowed  from  the  French,  and  was  cultivated 
successfully  by  Mrs.  Gore,  Lady  Morgan,  Mrs.  Trollope,  and  other  lady 
novelists,  and  more  especially  by  Disraeli,  all  of  whose  novels  required  a 
"  key"  to  unlock  their  mysteries  and  depended  largely  on  this  fact  for  their 
success. 

Very  different  was  the  practice  of  a  true  artist  like  Walter  Scott.  In  his 
prefaces  he  has  given  us  full  information  as  to  the  sources  from  which  he  drew 
his  materials,  and  describes  the  original  of  almost  every  prominent  character 
in  his  works.  But  if  we  turn  from  Helen  Walker  to  Jeanie  Deans,  from 
Andrew  Gemmells  to  Edie  Ochiltree,  we  find  that  we  have  really  learned 
nothing  of  the  process  by  which  these  originals  were  transformed  into  char- 
acters more  vivid,  more  real  to  us,  than  one-half  of  the  flesh-and-blood  people 
whom  we  know.  Helen  Walker  is  the  original  of  Jeanie  Deans  in  the  same 
way  that  a  block  of  marble  is  the  original  of  the  Venus  de'  Medici. 

Thackeray,  in  his  younger  days,  made  savage  fun  of  Bulwer,  under  the 
name  of  Bulwig,  in  a  full-length  portrait  in  "The  Yellowplush  Papers." 
And  in  his  later  days  he  was  not  averse  to  this  method  of  punishing  an 
enemy.  "It  was  a  pleasant  peculiarity  of  Mr.  Thackeray's,"  says  Edmund 
Yates,  "  to  make  some  veiled  but  unmistakable  allusion  in  his  books  to 
persons  at  the  time  obnoxious  to  him."  During  the  awkward  episode  at  the 
Garrick  which  lost  to  Yates  the  friendship  of  Thackeray,  the  seventh  number 
of  "The  Virginians"  came  out  with  what  Mr.  Yates  calls  "a  wholly  irrelevant 
and  ridiculously  lugged-in-by-the-shoulders  allusion  to  me  as  Young  Grub 
Street  in  its  pages."  But  Thackeray's  portraits  were  not  always  meant  to  be 
ill-natured.  Foker,  for  example,  was  drawn  from  Andrew  Arcedeckne,  who 
was  reproduced,  says  Yates,  "in  the  most  ludicrously  life-like  manner,  and, 
to  Arcedeckne's  intense  annoyance,  an  exact  wood-cut  portrait  of  himself 
accompanied  the  text." 

Though  Thackeray  meant  no  ill  nature  here,  Arcedeckne  never  quite  forgave 
him.  On  the  night  just  after  Thackeray  had  delivered  his  first  lecture  on 
"The  English  Humorists,"  Arcedeckne  met  him  at  the  Cider-Cellar's  Club, 
surrounded  by  a  coterie  who  were  offering  their  congratulations. 

"  How  are  you,  Thack  V  cried  Arcedeckne.  "  I  was  at  your  show  to-day  at 
Willis's.  What  a  lot  of  swells  you  had  there, — yes  !  But  I  thought  it  was 
dull, — devilish  dull !     I'll  tell  you  what  it  is,  Thack,  you  want  a  piano." 

That  Thackeray  meant  no  unkindness  was  evidenced  by  the  facts  that  in 
the  same  book  some  of  the  sketches  of  Arthur  Pendennis  drawn  by  the  author 
artist  are  recognizable  portraits  of  Thackeray,  and  that  the  side-face  of  Dr. 
Portman  in  the  wood-cut  which  represents  the  meeting  of  the  doctor  and  his 
curate,  Smirke,  was  said  to  resemble  strongly  that  of  Dr.  Cornish,  who  was 
evidently  the  original  from  whom  the  good  Portman  was  drawn.  In  the 
main,  there  is  no  doubt  that  what  Mrs.  Anne  Thackeray  Ritchie  says  is  true  : 
"My  father  scarcely  ever  put  real  people  into  his  books,  though  he  of  course 
found  suggestions  among  the  people  with  whom  he  was  thrown."  Perhaps  a 
good  idea  of  his  method  may  be  gained  from  his  own  letter  to  Mrs.  Brook- 
field,  in  which  he  tells  her,  "  You  know  you  are  only  a  piece  of  Amelia,  my 
mother  is  another  half,  my  poor  little  wife  y  est  pour  beaucoup"  or  from  the 
"  Roundabout  Papers,"  in  which  he  said  that  he  had  invented  Costigan,  "  as 
I  suppose  authors  invent  their  personages,  out  of  scraps,  heel-taps,  odds  and 
ends  of  characters." 

Robert  Browning  attacked  Wordsworth  for  what  he  considered  his  de- 
fection from  the  party  of  progress  in  "  The  Lost  Leader,"  just  as  Whittier 
attacked  Daniel  Webster  in  "Ichabod."  Browning  also  endeavored  to  ex- 
pose the  inner  workings  of  Cardinal  Wiseman's  mind  under  the  guise  of 
80* 


954  *   HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Bishop  Blougram,  and  of  Napoleon  the  Third's  under  that  of  Prince  Ho- 
henstiel-Schwangau.  He  made  a  more  direct  attack  upon  the  spiritualist 
John  Home  in  "  Sludge  the  Medium."  Home  recognized  the  portrait,  and 
in  revenge  used  to  tell  the  following  story.  Some  months  before  the  poem 
was  written,  Home  met  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Browning  at  Ealing,  where  a  spiritualist 
seance  relieved  the  tedium  of  a  morning  party.  Among  other  manifestations, 
a  wreath  of  clematis  was  lifted  from  the  table  by  an  invisible  power  and  con- 
veyed through  the  air  in  the  direction  of  Mrs.  Browning.  Mr.  Browning 
hastily  left  his  seat  on  the  opposite  side  of  the  table  and  moved  to  a  spot  be- 
hind his  wife's  chair,  in  the  hope  that  even  at  the  last  moment  the  spirits 
might  place  on  his  brow  the  coronal,  which  he  held  to  be  his  due  ;  but  the 
spirits  knew  what  they  were  about,  declined  to  gratify  his  vanity,  and  settled 
the  crown  on  Mrs.  Browning's  head.  Hinc  ilia  lackrymce:  hence  "Sludge 
the  Medium." 

Goethe  says  that  all  his  writings  are  a  confession.  And  this  is  probably 
true  of  all  great  authors.  They  have  dipped  into  their  own  hearts  to  write. 
Consciously  or  unconsciously,  they  have  unclothed  their  own  minds.  It  is 
comparatively  easy  to  trace  their  likeness  in  their  works.  They  all  have 
some  character  which  obviously  represents  themselves  or  some  part  of  them- 
selves. Thus,  Shakespeare  is  Hamlet,  and  he  had  strong  mental  affiliations 
with  the  melancholy  Jaques.  Milton  is  his  own  Satan,  or  at  least  in  Satan  he 
has  drawn  the  proud,  arrogant,  self-assertive  side  of  his  own  nature.  Moliire 
has  sketched  himself  in  Alceste,  the  hero  of  his  "  Misanthrope,"  a  man  whose 
originally  generous,  impulsive,  and  sensitive  nature  had  been  soured  by  con- 
tact with  the  coldness  and  insincerity  of  conventional  society  and  incrusted 
itself  behind  an  external  appearance  of  cynicism.  Alceste  is  the  Hamlet  of 
the  artificial  eighteenth  century, — Hamlet  drawn  by  an  observer  who  keeps  a 
keen  eye  upon  the  humorous  possibilities  of  the  character.  As  the  character 
represents  a  type,  it  is  not  extraordinary  that  other  originals  were  suggested, 
especially  the  Due  de  Montausier,  who  in  his  native  kindliness  and  acquired 
moroseness  resembled  both  Moliere  and  his  hero.  It  is  said  that  the  duke, 
being  informed  that  his  portrait  had  been  taken  in  the  "Misanthrope,"  went 
to  see  the  play,  and  only  said,  "I  have  no  ill  will  against  Moliere  for  the 
original  of  Alceste,  who,  whoever  he  may  be,  must  be  a  fine  character,  since 
the  copy  is  so." 

Goldsmith  has  shown  an  equally  keen  insight  into  his  own  foibles  in  the 
character  of  Honeywood,  the  hero  of  "The  Good-Natured  Man,"  whose  aim 
in  life  it  is  to  be  generally  beloved,  who  can  neither  refuse  nor  contradict, 
who  gives  away  with  lavish  liberality  to  worthy  and  unworthy  alike,  who 
allows  his  servants  to  plunder  him,  who  tries  to  fall  in  with  the  humor  of 
every  one  and  to  agree  with  every  one.  How  admirably  suited  to  his  own 
creator  is  Honeywood's  confession  when  he  determines  on  the  reformation 
which  Goldsmith,  alas,  could  never  make  !  "Though  inclined  to  the  right, 
I  had  not  courage  to  condemn  the  wrong.  My  charity  was  but  injustice, 
my  benevolence  but  weakness,  and  my  friendship  but  credulity."  Fielding 
has  undoubtedly  painted  himself  in  Tom  Jones,  with  all  his  foibles  and  his 
weaknesses,  and  also  with  a  fine  manly  want  of  bash  fulness  in  the  display  of 
his  own  perfections.  Farquhar  in  Sir  Harry  Wildair  originated  the  char- 
acter which  Richardson  afterwards  perfected  and  made  immortal  in  Love- 
lace,— the  gay,  splendid,  generous,  easy,  fine  young  gentleman,  who  throws 
the  witchery  of  high  birth  and  courteous  manners  and  reckless  dash  over  the 
qualities  of  the  fop,  the  libertine,  and  the  spendthrift.  In  Sir  Harry  Wildair 
Captain  Farquhar  drew  his  own  portrait. 

What  is  known  as  the  Byronic  hero,  the  Grand,  Gloomy,  and  Peculiar  soul, 
who  shrouds  himself  in  his  own  singularity,  was  first  brought  into  literature 


k 


LITERARY  CURIOSITTES.  955 

by  Jean  Jacques  Rousseau,  who  in  his  "  Nouvelle  Helo'ise"  obviously  painted 
himself  in  the  dreary  sentimentalist  who  poses  as  hero.  But  Childe  Harold 
and  Lara  are  great-grandchildren  of  Saint-Preux.  They  trace  their  lineage 
directly  through  Werther  and  Rene.  Werther,  although  the  incidents  closely 
resemble  the  sorrowful  life  and  story  of  a  young  man  named  Jerusalem, 
really  represented  the  "  Sturm  und  Drang"  period  of  Goethe's  own  youth. 
"  Werther,"  says  Carlyle,  "  is  but  the  cry  of  that  deep-rooted  pain  under 
which  all  thoughtful  men  of  a  certain  age  were  languishing.  It  paints  the 
misery,  it  passionately  utters  the  complaint,  and  heart  and  voice  all  over 
Europe  loudly  and  at  once  responded  to  it."  Among  those  who  responded 
and  who  echoed  the  cry  in  a  succeeding  generation  and  in  another  country 
was  Chateaubriand.  Rene  is  as  grand,  as  gloomy,  and  as  peculiar  as  any 
of  Byron's  characters,  and  it  is  not  at  all  surprising  that  Chateaubriand,  for- 
getting his  own  indebtedness  to  Goethe,  should  have  accused  Byron  of  pla- 
giarizing from  himself;  but  as  truly  as  Rene  is  the  ideal  which  Fran9ois 
Rene  de  Chateaubriand  had  formed  of  himself,  Childe  Harold  is  the  ideal 
which  Byron  had  formed  of  himself.  And  this  ideal  Byron  is  continually 
repeating  in  his  succeeding  poems,  for  his  was  essentially  the  lyrical  and  not 
the  dramatic  mind.  As  Macaulay  says,  Byron  could  exhibit  only  one  man, 
"a  man  proud,  moody,  cynical,  with  defiance  on  his  brow  and  misery  in  his 
heart,  a  scorner  of  his  kind,  implacable  in  revenge,  yet  capable  of  deep  and 
strong  affection.  Harold,  Lara,  Manfred,  and  a  crowd  of  other  characters 
were  universally  considered  merely  as  loose  copies  of  Byron,  and  there  is 
every  reason  to  believe  that  he  meant  them  to  be  so  considered.  .  .  .  Whether 
there  ever  existed  or  can  ever  exist  a  person  answering  to  the  description 
which  he  gave  of  himself  may  be  doubted,  but  that  he  was  not  such  a  person 
is  beyond  all  doubt."  Nevertheless,  most  of  the  young  men  of  the  period 
strove  to  imitate  him,  and  sought  to  describe  themselves  in  prose  or  in  poetry 
as  beings  of  dark  imaginings,  whose  souls  had  been  seared,  and  the  freshness 
of  whose  hearts  had  been  dried  at  its  source.  For  years  the  Minerva  Press 
sent  forth  no  novel  without  a  mysterious,  unhappy,  Lara-like  peer. 

Something  of  this  affectation  survived  in  Disraeli,  and  in  Bulwer  (known 
sometimes  as  Byron  with  a  small  b),  who  in  one  of  his  last  works,  written 
long  after  the  Byronic  fever  had  spent  itself, — in  "  Kenelm  Chillingly,"  in 
short, — seeks  to  draw  his  own  portrait  as  a  great  and  mysterious  soul  in  un- 
comfortable and  uncongenial  surroundings.  But  Byron's  gloom  is  far  more 
sincere  than  that  of  the  young  Disraeli  or  the  superannuated  Bulwer.  Senan- 
cour  is,  however,  the  sincerest  of  all  the  contributors  to  the  Literature  of 
Despair,  and  in  "  Obermann"  he  has  done  what  Byron  and  others  have 
failed  in, — he  has  presented  a  true  nineteenth-century  Hamlet,  he  has  given 
voice  to  the  mal  du  siecle.  Musset  came  very  near  doing  the  same  thing  in 
his  "  Confessions  of  a  Child  of  the  Age,"  but  he  is  a  little  too  lachrymose. 
He  lacks  the  masculinity  of  Senancour. 

Juliana  von  Kriidener  has  sometimes  been  called  the  feinale  Werther,  be- 
cause in  her  novel  "Valerie"  she  veiled  in  the  garb  of  fiction  an  episode  in 
her  own  life,— the  story  of  the  love  which  her  husband's  secretary  conceived 
for  her,  and  which  he  was  too  noble  to  confess  until  he  had  resigned  his  posi- 
tion and  fled  from  her  side.  But  in  truth  she  had  been  preceded  by  another 
famous  lady  novelist,  who  preceded  not  only  her  but  Werther  himself.  This 
was  the  Countess  de  la  Fayette,  whose  "Princess  of  Cleves"  was  published 
in  1677.  It  relates  the  story  of  the  love  of  a  married  lady  (the  princess)  for 
the  Due  de  Nemours,  a  gendeman  of  the  court  of  Henry  the  Second  of 
France.  She  acknowledges  her  love  only  to  her  husband,  and  flies  from 
temptation  into  the  country.  When,  as  the  result  of  a  series  of  misappre- 
hensions, her  husband  dies  of  a  broken  heart,  she  refuses  to  marry  the  duke. 


956  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  principal  personages  here  are  all  drawn  from  the  authoress's  own  ex- 
perience, herself  being  the  heroine,  her  husband  the  Prince  of  Cleves,  and 
Rochefoucauld  the  Due  de  Nemours. 

Madame  de  Stael  followed  in  the  wake  of  these  ladies.  Both  in  "  Delphine" 
and  in  "  Corinne"  she  painted  herself  as  she  desired  to  appear, — the  passion- 
ate, generous,  self-sacrificing,  and  somewhat  hysterical  personage  whose  love 
was  her  life.  In  "  Delphine,"  by  the  way,  she  ridiculed  the  Machiavelian 
subtlety  of  Talleyrand  in  her  sketch  of  Madame  de  Vernon  ;  and  Talleyrand's 
mot  has  often  been  recorded.  "  I  understand,"  he  said  to  the  authoress, 
"  that  we  both  appear  in  your  new  book  disguised  as  women." 

One  of  the  most  extraordinary  episodes  in  literary  history  is  the  love-affair 
between  Alfred  de  Musset  and  George  Sand,  and  the  three  novels  which  re- 
sulted from  it.  The  bare  facts  seem  to  be  as  follows.  In  1832  Musset  met 
George  Sand  and  fell  desperately  in  love  with  her.  Next  year  the  pair  went 
to  Italy  together.  Musset  returned  alone,  broken  in  health  and  spirits.  Rumor 
was  of  course  busy  with  inventing  reasons  why  they  quarrelled,  but  for  a  time 
neither  spoke.  "The  Confessions  of  a  Child  of  the  Age"  came  out  in  1836, 
and  in  them  Musset  painted  George  Sand  in  glowing  colors  under  the  name 
of  Brigitte  Pierson,  attributing  to  the  hero,  obviously  drawn  from  himself, 
all  the  blame  for  the  rupture  in  their  relations.  Thirteen  years  later,  when 
he  was  dead,  George  Sand  published  her  celebrated  romance  of  "  Elle  et 
Lui,"  and  this  was  followed  almost  immediately  by  Paul  de  Mussel's  "  Lui  et 
Elle."  "  She  and  He"  was  meant  by  George  Sand  as  her  vindication.  It 
tells  how  two  artists  are  thrown  for  a  brief  period  into  ill-assorted  union.  The 
man  is  all  selfishness,  the  woman  all  self-sacrifice.  At  last  his  egotism,  capri- 
ciousness,  and  brutality  revolt  even  her  tender  love  and  patience,  and  she  finds 
comfort  elsewhere.  Substantially  the  same  outline  of  story  is  told  by  Paul  de 
Musset,  only  the  man  is  all  that  is  amiable,  devoted,  and  self-sacrificing,  while 
the  woman  acts  throughout  as  a  heartless  and  abandoned,  though  diabolically 
fascinating,  creature.  In  conclusion  the  author  states  that  the  victim  of  this 
woman's  wiles  in  his  dying  hour  called  his  brother  to  his  bedside  and  enjoined 
him,  if  ever  she  should  calumniate  him  in  his  grave,  to  vindicate  his  memory 
against  her  slanders.  "The  brother  made  the  promise,"  says  the  narrator, 
coolly,  "and  I  have  since  heard  that  he  has  kept  his  word." 

The  overstrained  sentimentalism  which  the  first  portion  of  this  century  in- 
herited from  the  eighteenth  naturally  brought  about  its  own  reaction.  The 
sense  of  humor  reasserted  itself;  the  ridiculous  side  of  the  grand,  the  gloomy, 
and  the  peculiar  became  painfully  conspicuous.  The  persiflage  of  Heine,  the 
satire  of  Thackeray,  were  the  natural  results.  In  his  deepest  anguish  Heine 
never  forgets  to  ward  off  the  ridicule  of  the  uninterested  on-looker.  Thack- 
eray denies  his  highest  self  and  paints  his  lower  qualities  in  Pendennis.  In 
his  hatred  of  posing  he  will  not  draw  himself  up  to  his  full  height.  Haw- 
thorne, who  also  hated  cant,  has  depicted  himself  in  Miles  Coverdale,  a  faint, 
colorless  reflection  of  one  of  the  strongest  and  manliest  figures  in  our  romantic 
literature.  Such  nuances,  however,  were  unknown  to  the  robust  self-com- 
placence of  Charles  Reade,  who  in  his  "  Terrible  Temptation"  has  painted 
himself  as  the  author  Rolfe,  with  his  very  best  foot  foremost.  The  portrait, 
it  will  be  remembered,  called  forth  a  storm  of  ridicule,  but  Reade  boldly  ac- 
knowledged that  he  was  the  original  of  the  sketch,  and  insisted  that  he  had 
a  perfect  right  to  describe  his  own  virtues.  Charlotte  Bronte,  it  is  very 
evident,  was  her  own  Jane  Eyre,  and  to  a  certain  extent  her  own  Lucy  Snow. 
And  George  Eliot  has  drawn  largely  from  herself  in  Maggie  Tulliver,  Romola, 
Dorothea,  and  all  that  group  of  characters  whom  Leslie  Stephen  classes 
together  as  women  in  need  of  a  confessor. 

Reason.    Not  against  but  above  reason,  a  favorite  phrase  of  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  957 

old  schoolmen  in  regard  to  supernatural  matters.  Locke  adopts  the  distinc- 
tion in  his  "  Essay  on  the  Understanding,"  Book  iv.,  ch.  viii.,  where  he  says, 
in  substance,  that  propositions  are  either  above,  according  to,  or  contrary  to 
reason.  Thus,  the  resurrection  of  the  dead  is  above  reason,  the  existence  of 
one  God  according  to  reason,  and  the  existence  of  several  gods  contrary  to 
reason.  Victor  Cousin  considers  this  distinction  "  more  specious  than  pro- 
found." 

Recording  Angel.  •  A  famous  passage  in  Sterne's  "  Tristram  Shandy" 
runs  as  follows  : 

"  A-vvell-a-day  !  do  what  we  can  for  him,"  said  Trim,  maintaining  his  point,  "the  poor 

soul  will  die."     "He  shall  not  die,  l>y  /"   cried  my  Uncle  Toby.     The  accusing  spirit 

which  flew  up  to  heaven's  chancery  with  the  oaih  blushed  as  he  gave  it  in,  and  the  recording 
angel,  as  he  wrote  it  down,  dropped  a  tear  upon  the  word,  and  blotted  it  out  forever. 

The  recording  angel  has  been  a  familiar  figure  in  popular  quotation  ever 
since,  and  has  been  freely  plagiarized.     Thus,  Campbell : 
But  sad  as  angels  for  the  good  man's  sin, 
Weep  to  record,  and  blush  to  give  it  in. 

Pleasures  of  Hope,  Part  II.,  1.  357. 

Thackeray,  in  "  Pendennis,"  has  a  passage  less  obviously  patterned  after 
Sterne.  Old  Major  Pendennis  has  just  heard  that  his  nephew  is  dangerously 
sick,  and  Lord  Steyne  hustles  him  into  a  carriage  : 

"  You've  twenty  minutes  to  catch  the  mail-train.  Jump  in,  Pendennis ;  and  drive  like 
h ,  sir  !  do  you  hear?" 

The  carriage  drove  off  swiftly  with  Pendennis  and  his  companions,  and  let  us  trust  that 
the  oath  will  be  pardoned  to  the  Marquis  of  Steyne. 

Recover.  The  position  of  the  "  recover"  is  described  by  Captain  O'Rourke 
in  his  "  Manual-  of  Sword  Exercise"  as  follows  :  "  Raise  the  right  hand  until 
it  comes  a  little  below  and  about  six  inches  in  front  of  the  chin,  edge  of  the 
sword  to  the  left,  point  inclining  to  the  front,  thumb  extended  along  the  back 
of  the  grip,  and  the  nails  towards  the  face."  This,  it  will  be  seen,  is  a  position 
in  which  it  would  be  both  easy  and  natural  to  raise  the  sword-hilt  to  the  lips  ; 
and  the  term  "  recover"  is  traced  back  by  military  archaeologists  to  the  days 
of  the  Crusades.  It  has  nothing  whatever  to  do  with  the  French  verb  re- 
couvrir,  or  with  that  form  of  saluting,  therefore,  which  consists  in  the  tender 
of  homage  by  baring  the  head.  It  is  derived  from  the  French  verb  recouvrer, 
and  embalms  the  memory  of  the  ages  of  faith  in  which  the  sword-hilt,  made 
in  the  form  of  a  cross,  was  raised  to  the  lips  of  the  knights  who  swore  upon 
it  to  "recover"  from  the  Paynim  the  "sainte  terre  d*Oultremer,"  as  old  Ville- 
hardouin  calls  it. 

Red-haired  girls  and  white  horses.  The  popular  jest  about  the 
necessary  contiguity  of  red-haired  girls  and  white  horses  is  by  no  means 
modern,  though  in  its  recent  revival  it  has  swept  over  the  country  as  a  nov- 
elty. Some  of  us  remember  that  our  grandfathers  used  jocularly  to  assert  it 
to  the  wondering  ears  of  youth  as  a  well-attested  fact.  In  all  likelihood,  the 
saying  took  its  origin  in  the  old  English  game  called  sometimes  the  "game 
of  the  road,"  but  more  often  "  ups  and  downs,"  which  is  still  a  favorite  among 
children  and  travelling  salesmen  in  Great  Britain.  One  party  takes  the  "up" 
side  of  the  street  or  road,  the  other  the  "  down,"  counting  one  for  every  ordinary 
object  and  five  for  a  white  horse  (a  piebald  counting  as  white),  until  a  certain 
number  agreed  upon  carries  off  the  victory  ;  but  a  red-headed  woman  or  a 
donkey  wins  the  game  at  once. 

Another  explanation  refers  the  phrase  to  a  North-of-Ireland  superstition 
that  the  sight  of  a  red-headed  girl  brings  ill  luck  to  the  beholder  unless  he 
retrace  his  steps  to  the  starting-point ;  but  if  he  meet  a  white  horse  at  any 


95 8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

stage  of  his  backward  progress  the  spell  is  ipso  facto  averted.  In  the  midland 
counties  of  England,  on  the  other  hand,  it  is  ill  luck  to  meet  a  white  horse 
without  spitting  at  it.  In  Wexford  an  odd  cure  for  the  whooping-cough  is 
suggested  by  current  superstition.  The  patient  trudges  along  the  road  until 
he  meets  a  piebald  horse,  and  shouts  out  to  the  rider,  "  Halloo,  man  on  the 
piebald  horse  !  what  is  good  for  the  whooping-cough  ?"  and  no  matter  how 
absurd  the  remedy  suggested,  he  will  certainly  be  cured.  In  Scotland,  to 
dream  of  a  white  horse  foretells  the  coming  of  a  letter. 

The  prejudice  against  red  hair  is  as  wide-spread  and  deep-rooted  as  it  is 
unaccountable.  Tradition  assigns  reddish  hair  to  both  Absalom  and  Judas. 
Thus,  Rosalind,  complaining  of  her  lover's  tardiness,  pettishly  exclaims, 
"  His  own  hair  is  of  the  dissembling  color  !"  and  is  answered  by  Celia, 
"Somewhat  browner  than  Judas's."  Marston,  also,  in  his  "Insatiate  Count- 
ess," says,  "  I  ever  thought  by  his  red  beard  he  would  prove  a  Judas  :  here 
am  I  bought  and  sold." 

But  Leonardo  da  Vinci,  it  may  be  noted  in  passing,  paints  Judas  with  black 
hair  in  his  fresco  "The  Last  Judgment." 

All  over  Europe  red  hair  is  associated  with  treachery  and  deceitfulness. 
In  a  collection  of  German  proverbs  made  by  Henry  Bebel  as  early  as  151 2, 
the  following  occurs  :  "  The  short  in  stature  are  naturally  proud,  and  the  red- 
haired  untrustworthy."  In  England,  Thomas  Hughes  says,  "  I  myself  know 
persons  who  on  that  account  alone  never  admit  into  their  service  any  whose 
hair  is  thus  objectionable."  An  old  French  proverb  warns  you,  "  Salute  no  red- 
haired  man  nor  bearded  woman  nearer  than  thirty  feet  off,  with  three  stones 
in  the  fist  to  defend  thee  in  thy  need."  In  Sweden  the  prejudice  against  red 
hair  is  explained  on  the  ground  that  the  traitor  jarl  Asbjorn,  who  betrayed 
King  Canute  to  his  death,  was  red-headed.  But  even  the  ancient  Egyptians 
had  the  same  prejudice.  For  one  thing,  of  course,  a  red-haired  man  was  likely 
to  be  a  foreigner.  But,  in  addition,  red  was  symbolical  of  Typho,  a  spirit  of 
evil.  Any  one  with  ruddy  complexion  or  red  hair  was  suspected  of  being 
connected  with  the  evil  one.  Red  donkeys,  especially,  were  looked  upon  as 
naturally  evil  beasts,  and  red  oxen  were  offered  in  the  sacrifices. 

Though  red  hair  is  almost  universally  held  in  light  esteem,  the  prejudice 
against  red  itself  does  not  extend  much  beyond  Egypt.  In  Congo,  red  is  a 
sacred  color ;  in  China  and  Japan  it  is  used  at  death-beds  to  scare  off  evil 
spirits.  In  many  parts  of  Europe,  also,  it  is  considered  obnoxious  to  evil 
spirits.  In  old  Teutonic  folk-lore  it  was  held  to  be  symbolic  of  victory,  pos- 
sibly in  reminiscence  of  Thor's  red  beard.  And  as  it  was  regarded,  also,  as 
representing  heat,  it  was  therefore,  in  a  manner,  heat,  just  as  white,  repre- 
senting cold,  was  cold  itself.  Sick  people  were  wrapped  in  red  blankets,  a 
superstition  only  recently  revived  in  the  red  flannel  underwear  supposed  to 
be  useful  in  cases  of  rheumatism.  Red  flowers  were  used  for  disorders  of 
the  blood,  as  yellow  for  those  of  the  liver. 

Another  example  of  the  close  connection  between  red  and  white  is  the 
corpse-candle,  which  if  it  burned  red  signified  that  a  man  was  the  doomed 
person  ;  if  white,  a  woman. 

Red-Letter  Day.  This  expression,  meaning  a  fortunate  or  auspicious 
day,  arises  from  the  ancient  custom  of  marking  holidays  on  calendars  in  red 
ink.  In  the  Church  calendars  the  saints'  days  still  continue  red-letter  days, 
the  name  being  always  printed  in  ink  of  that  color.  In  the  Prayer-Book  of 
the  Episcopal  Church  the  designations  of  these  days  are  in  red,  as  is  also  the 
rubric,  which  is  so  called  from  the  color. 

Red  Tape,  in  colloquial  English,  official  formality  or  obstruction,  a  phrase 
which  owes  its  origin  to  the  red  tape  which  at  least  for  two  centuries  has 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  959 

been  used  by  lawyers  and  public  officials  for  tying  up  documents,  etc.  As  far 
back  as  December  6,  1658,  an  advertisement  in  the  Public  Intelligencer  offers 
a  reward  for  the  restoration  of  "a  little  bundle  of  papers  tied  with  a  red  tape 
which  were  lost  on  Friday  last  was  a  sevennight  between  Worcester  House 
and  Lincoln's  Inn."  The  earliest  known  use  of  the  term  in  its  figurative 
sense  is  more  than  a  century  later,  in  a  letter  written  by  Sir  Gilbert  Elliot, 
afterwards  Lord  Minto,  dated  August  31,  1775  :  "  Howe  gets  the  command. 
The  ships  are  in  great  forwardness.  I  can't  say  so  much  for  the  army.  Your 
old  friend  (Lord  Harrington)  sticks  to  rules,  tape,  and  packthread." 

A  luxuriant  example  of  red  tape  was  exhibited  by  Captain  Vivian  to  the  admiring  House 
of  Commons  some  years  ago  in  the  Committee  on  Army  Estimates.  The  initial  fact  was  the 
need  of  a  pair  of  bellows  in  the  Curragh  camp.  After  a  prelimmary  whetting  of  the  appetite 
of  the  red-tape  dragon  by  a  lengthy  correspondence,  the  operation  of  getting  this  pair  of 
bellows  proceeded  as  follows  :  February  12. — War  Department  gives  authority  to  the  local 
commissariat  officer  to  indent  [that  is,  give  an  order]  on  the  Royal  Engineer  Department  for 
a  pair  of  bellows.  Same  date.— Local  commissariat  officer  applies  to  district  engineer  officer 
for  a  pair  of  bellows.  February  i5. — District  engineer  officer  applies  to  military  store  officer 
at  Dublin.  February  19. — Military  store  officer  informs  royal  engineer  officer  at  Dublin  that 
he  can  supply  the  bellows  on  requisition.  February  20. — Royal  engineer  officer  at  Dublin 
forwards  this  information  to  local  engineer  officer  at  the  Curragh.  February  21. — Local 
engineer  officer  at  the  Curragh  informs  royal  engineer  officer  at  Dublin  that  he  has  no  form 
of  requisition.  February  22.— Local  engineer  officer  at  the  Curragh  asks  the  local  commis- 
sariat officer  if  the  proposed  bellows  would  do.  February  23. — Local  commissariat  officer 
replies  "  Yes."  February  24.— Local  engineer  officer  informs  local  commissariat  officer  that 
he  must  apply  to  the  royal  engineer  officer,  Dublin  ;  and  application  is  made  accordingly, 
February  26, — Military  stores  officer  at  Dublin  answers  that  he  will  supply  the  bellows  on  an 
order  from  the  War  Office.  February  28. — Local  commissariat  officer  produces  authority 
from  the  W.ir  Office  and  reads  it  to  local  engineer  officer.  March  i. — District  engineer 
officer  declines  to  have  anything  to  do  with  a  service  not  brought  to  his  notice  through  the 
proper  authority  ;  and  local  commissariat  officer  refers  matter  to  commissariat  officer  in 
Dublin.  March  2. — Commissariat  officer  in  Dublin  relegates  the  question  to  the  Deputy 
Quartermaster-General,  Dublin.  March  3. — Deputy  Quartermaster-General  passes  on  the 
requisition  to  Quartermaster-General,  Horse  Guards.  March  5.— Horse  Guards  refer  to  War 
Office,  and  War  Office  refers  to  Commissariat-General-in-Chief,  London.  March  10. — Com- 
missariat-General-in-Chief asks  Director  of  Stores  to  give  authority.  Director  of  Stores 
states  that  the  commissariat  officer  should  include  the  bellows  in  his  annual  estimate;  and 
Commissary-General-in-Chief  writes  to  the  Horse  Guards  and  to  the  commissariat  officer, 
Dublin.  March  20. — Commissariat  officer  at  the  Curragh  writes  to  know  why  he  does  not 
get  his  bellows.     Whether  he  ever  did  get  them  we  do  not  know. — Chambers  s  Journal. 

Reductio  ad  absurdum  (L.,  "  Reduction  to  an  absurdity"),  a  familiar  bit 
of  logical  fence  by  which  the  argument  or  proposition  of  another  is  carried 
out  to  an  absurd  conclusion.  A  good  illustration  of  the  method  is  afforded 
by  Buckingham's  jest  at  the  expense  of  Dryden.  During  the  first  perform- 
ance of  one  of  the  latter's  tragedies,  the  leading  lady  slowly  and  impressively 
repeated, — 

My  wound  is  great  because  it  is  so  small. 

With  a  terrible  look  of  distress,  she  paused.     Buckingham,  rising  imme- 
diately from  his  seat,  added,  in  a  loud,  mimicking  voice, — 
Then  'twould  be  greater  were  it  none  at  all. 

The  effect,  we  are  told,  was  electrical.  The  actress  was  hissed  off  the  stage, 
and  the  play  was  never  performed  again.  Dryden  had  his  revenge.  He 
pilloried  Buckingham  for  all  time  in  his  "Absalom  and  Achitophel,"  under 
the  name  of  Ziniri. 

Very  neat,  too,  was  Johnson's  answer  to  one  who  quoted  from  Brooke's 
"  Gustavus  Vasa"  the  sentiment, — 

Who  rules  o'er  freemen  should  himself  be  free. 
Johnson  replied, — 

Who  drives  fat  oxen  should  himself  be  fat. 

Ennius,  the  Roman  poet,  showed  excellent  common  sense,  as  well  as  fine 
logical  power,  in  his  sarcasm  on  the  pretensions  of  fortune-tellers  : 


960  HANDY-BOOK  OF- 

Qui  sibi  semitam  non  sapiunt,  alteri  monstrant  viam ; 

Quibus  divitias  pollicentur,  ab  iis  drachmam  petunt ; 

De  diviiiis  deducant  drachmam,  reddant  cetera. 
("  They  who  know  not  the  way  for  themselves,  point  it  out  to  others.     Of  the  persons  to 
whom  they  promise  riches,  they  seek  for  a  drachma.     Let  them  deduct  the  drachma  from 
those  riches,  and  hand  over  the  balance.") 

A  recent  example  is  afforded  by  Mr.  Spurgeon's  rebuke  to  certain  of  his 
followers  who  refused  to  interfere  in  politics  on  the  ground  that  they  were 
"not  of  this  world."  This,  he  argued,  was  mere  metaphor.  "  You  might  as 
well,"  said  he,  "being  sheep  of  the  Lord,  decline  to  eat  mutton-chop  on  the 
plea  that  it  would  be  cannibalism." 

John  Wilkes  was  once  asked  by  a  Catholic  priest,  "  Where  was  the  ProN 
estant  Church  before  Luther?"  "Did  you  wash  your  face  this  morning?" 
asked  Wilkes.  "  I  did,  sir."  "  Then  where  was  your  face  before  it  was 
washed  ?"  retorted  Wilkes.  A  story  has  been  invented  about  Cuvier  to  show 
that  he  could  reduce  even  the  enemy  of  mankind  to  an  absurdity  by  zoologi- 
cal rule.  As  he  was  walking  one  day  near  Avernus,  the  devil  met  him  and 
demanded  his  worship.  "  No,  I  will  not  worship  you,"  said  the  naturalist. 
"Then  I  will  eat  you,"  rejoined  the  demon.  Cuvier  eyed  him  deliberately, 
and  exclaimed,  in  a  tone  of  mingled  contempt  and  triumph,  "  Horns  and 
cloven  feet, — graminivorous.  You  eat  me?  Nonsense !"  "  Is  it  not  right," 
said  a  conservative,  advocating  the  justice  and  propriety  of  an  hereditary  no- 
bility, "that,  in  order  to  hand  down  to  posterity  the  virtues  of  those  who 
have  been  eminent  for  their  services  to  their  country,  their  posterity  should 
enjoy  the  honors  conferred  on  them  as  a  reward  for  such  services  ?"  "  By 
the  same  rule,"  replied  a  lady,  "if  a  man  is  hanged  for  his  misdeeds,  all  his 
posterity  should  be  hanged  too." 

Republic  of  Letters,  a  cant  literary  phrase  indicating  that  there  is  a 
democracy  of  the  pen.  In  literature  it  seems  to  have  been  first  used  by 
Fielding  in  "Tom  Jones,"  Book  xiv.  ch.  i.  But  it  is  probably  a  reminiscence 
of  Goldsmith's  objection  when  Boswell  talked  of  Johnson's  unquestioned 
superiority :  "  You  are  for  making  a  monarchy  of  what  should  be  a  republic." 
Hood  suggests  that  the  phrase  is  used  to  insinuate  that,  taking  the  whole 
tribe  of  authors  together,  they  have  not  a  sovereign  among  them. 

Reputation.  Cassio,  when  dismissed  from  his  rank  for  drunkenness, 
cries  out,  "  Reputation,  reputation,  reputation  !  Oh,  I  have  lost  my  reputa- 
tion !  I  have  lost  the  immortal  part  of  myself,  and  what  remains  is  bestial." 
{Othello,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  3.)    A  little  later,  in  the  same  play,  lagj  amplifies  the  idea : 

Good  name  in  man  and  woman,  dear  my  lord. 

Is  the  immediate  jewel  of  their  souls  : 

Who  steals  my  purse  steals  trash  ;  'tis  something,  nothing; 

'Twas  mine,  'tis  his,  and  has  been  slave  to  thousands; 
■*  But  he  that  filches  from  me  my  good  name 

Robs  me  of  that  which  not  enriches  him 

And  makes  me  poor  indeed. 

Act  iii.,  Sc.  3. 

The  sentiment  finds  a  very  striking  parallel  in  one  of  the  prefatory  stanzas 
to  the  fifty-first  canto  of  Berni's  "  Orlando  Innamorato," — the  more  curious 
as  Berni,  it  is  believed,  was  not  turned  into  English  before  Rose's  partial 
translation  in  1823  : 

Who  steals  a  bugle-horn,  a  ring,  a  steed. 

Or  such  like  worthless  thing,  has  some  discretion ; 
'Tis  petty  larceny  :  not  such  his  deed 

Who  robs  us  of  our  fame,  our  best  possession; 
And  he  who  takes  our  labor's  worthiest  meed 
May  well  be  deemed  a  felon  by  profession. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  96 1 

Who  so  much  more  our  hate  and  scourge  deserves, 
As  from  the  rule  of  right  he  wider  swerves. 

Of  course  the  germ  of  the  idea  may  be  found  in  the  almost  universal  proverb, 
"  A  good  name  is  better  than  riches"  (Publius  Syrus  :  Maxim  108),  equiv- 
alent to  Solomon's  "  A  good  name  is  rather  to  be  chosen  than  great  riches" 
{Prov.  xxii.  i). 

Resolution  and  thought.  In  his  famous  soliloquy  (Act  iii.,  Sc.  i) 
Hamlet  complains, — 

Thus  conscience  does  make  cowards  of  us  all ; 
And  thus  the  native  hue  of  resolution 
Is  sicklied  o'er  with  the  pale  cast  of  thought. 
And  enterprises  of  great  pith  and  moment 
With  this  regard  their  currents  turn  awry. 
And  lose  the  name  of  action. 
In  "  Measure  for  Measure,"  Act  i.,  Sc.  4,  Shakespeare  had  already  put  the 
same  thought  in  other  words  : 

Our  doubts  are  traitors. 
And  make  us  lose  the  good  we  oft  might  win 
By  fearing  to  attempt. 

Hotspur,  in  the  "  First  Part  of  King  Henry  IV."  (Act  ii.,  Sc.  3),  has  the 
right  answer  to  all  such  balanced  doubts  and  cowardly  conscientiousness  when 
he  says,  commenting  on  a  letter  he  holds  in  his  hand,  " '  The  purpose  you 
undertake  is  dangerous  :'— why,  that's  certain  :  'tis  dangerous  to  take  a  cold, 
to  sleep,  to  drink ;  but  I  tell  you,  my  lord  fool,  out  of  this  nettle,  danger,  we 
pluck  this  flower,  safety."  Or,  as  the  Marquis  of  Montrose  says, — 
He  either  fears  his  fate  too  much. 

Or  his  deserts  are  small. 
That  dares  not  put  it  to  the  touch 
To  gain  or  lose  it  all. 

yl/y  Dear  and  Only  Love. 

The  last  two  lines  are  probably  better  known  in  Lord  Napier's  misquotation  : 

That  puts  it  not  unto  the  touch 
To  win  or  lose  it  all. 

Montrose  and  the  Covenanters ,  ii.  566, 

Schiller's  phrase  is  not  dissimilar  : 

Wer  gar  zu  viel  bedenkt  wird  wenig  leisten, 
("  He  who  considers  too  much  will  accomplish  little,") 

William  Tell,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  i., 

which  is  the  basis  of  much  of  Carlyle's  philosophy,  especially  in  his  essays 
on  ■"  Characteristics"  and  "  Signs  of  the  Times." 

Lastly,  Cardinal  Newman  has  some  fine  lines  which  may  appropriately  be 
quoted : 

Time  was,  I  shrank  from  what  was  right 

For  fear  of  what  was  wrong  : 
I  would  not  brave  the  sacred  fight. 

Because  the  foe  was  strong. 
But  now  I  cast  that  finer  sense 

And  sorer  shame  aside  : 
Such  dread  of  sin  was  indolence. 

Such  aim  at  heaven  was  pride. 

Resurgam  (L.,  "I  shall  rise  again").  This  inscription  is  placed  over  the 
south  door  of  St.  Paul's  Cathedral.  According  to  tradition,  when  Christopher 
Wren  had  marked  out  the  dimensions  of  the  dome  and  fixed  upon  the  centre, 
a  laborer  was  ordered  to  bring  a  flat  stone  from  the  heaps  of  rubbish,  to  be 
laid  for  a  direction  for  the  workmen.  It  happened  to  be  a  piece  of  a  grave- 
stone, with  nothing  remaining  of  the  inscription  but  the  single  word  Resurgam. 
Sir  Christopher  accepted  the  augury  and  commemorated  the  incident.  We 
2Q  ///  8 1 


962  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

also  know  from  Fuller  [^Church  History,  Book  x.)  that  Bishop  John  King,  who 
died  in  1621,  desired  in  his  will  that  "nothing  should  be  written  on  his  plain 
gravestone  save  only  Resurgam."  From  Dugdale's  "  History  of  St.  Paul's 
Cathedral"  it  appears  that  this  was  done,  but  that  in  addition  a  long  moral 
inscription  contained  the  words  "  Marmor  loquax  spirat  Resurgam."'  Now, 
it  is  quite  possible  that  the  stone  found  by  Wren's  workman  was  one  of  the 
two  inscribed  to  Bishop  King,  and  this  conjecture  is  made  more  probable  as 
this  word  occurs  in  no  other  epitaph  in  Dugdale. 

Resurrection  Bone,  The.  Throughout  the  Middle  Ages  it  was  believed 
that  there  exists  in  man  a  bone  imponderable,  incorruptible,  incombustible, 
the  necessary  nucleus  of  the  resurrection  body.  Belief  in  a  resurrection  of 
the  physical  body,  despite  St.  Paul's  First  Epistle  to  the  Corinthians,  had  been 
incorporated  into  the  formula  made  many  centuries  after  his  time  and  called 
the  Apostles'  Creed,  and  was  held  throughout  Christendom,  "always,  every- 
where, and  by  all."  This  hypothetical  bone  was  therefore  held  in  great  vener- 
ation, and  many  anatomists  sought  to  discover  it ;  but  Vesalius,  revealing  so 
much  else,  did  not  find  it,  and  was  therefore  suspected  of  a  want  of  proper 
faith.  He  contented  himself  with  saying  that  he  left  the  question  regarding 
the  existence  of  such  a  bone  to  the  theologians.  He  could  not  lie,  he  did 
not  wish  to  fight  the  Inquisition,  and  thus  he  fell  under  suspicion.  The 
strength  of  this  theological  point  may  be  judged  from  the  fact  that  no  less 
eminent  a  surgeon  than  Riolan  consulted  the  executioner  to  find  out  whether, 
when  he  burned  a  criminal,  all  the  parts  were  consumed  ;  and  only  then  was 
the  answer  received  which  fatally  undermined  this  superstition.  In  1689 
we  find  it  still  lingering  in  France,  creating  an  energetic  opposition  in  the 
Church  to  dissection.  Even  as  late  as  the  eighteenth  century,  Bernoulli 
having  shown  that  the  living  human  body  constantly  undergoes  a  series  of 
changes,  so  that  all  its  particles  are  renewed  in  a  given  number  of  years,  so 
much  ill  feeling  was  drawn  upon  him,  especially  from  the  theologians,  who 
saw  in  this  statement  danger  to  the  doctrine  of  the  resurrection  of  the  body, 
that  for  the  sake  of  peace  he  struck  out  his  argument  on  this  subject  from 
his  works. 

Revie'ws,  Curiosities  of.  The  mistakes  of  the  organs  of  the  professed 
critics,  the  monthly  and  quarterly  reviews,  have  long  been  favorite  subjects 
for  the  scorned  author  to  point  the  finger  of  scorn  at. 

"  Who  are  the  critics  ?"  asks  Lord  Aldegonde  in  Disraeli's  novel,  and  he  is 
answered,  "Those  who  have  failed  in  literature  and  art." 

Their  failure,  however,  in  those  branches  does  not  always  guarantee  them 
success  in  criticism.  Indeed,  no  more  soothing  reading  could  be  recom- 
mended to  the  author  smarting  from  unmerited  castigation,  or,  what  is  just  as 
provoking,  castigation  which  he  deems  unmerited,  than  the  back  numbers  of 
the  Edinburgh  and  Quarterly  Reviews,  especially  the  latter. 

There  he  will  learn  what  other  authors  have  suffered,  as  he  has,  and  will 
be  proud  to  find  into  how  glorious  a  brotherhood  he  has  been  enrolled.  In 
the  Edinburgh  will  be  Coleridge,  Wordsworth,  Southey,  Byron,  Goethe,  and 
Ruskin  ;  in  the  Quarterly,  Shelley,  Keats,  Lamb,  Hunt,  Hazlitt,  Bentham, 
Disraeli,  Tennyson,  Macaulay,  Hallam,  and  Charlotte  Bronte, — all  swelling 
the  noble  list  of  damned  authors.  Of  these  two  periodicals  the  Quarterly  is 
undoubtedly  the  worst,  both  in  wilful  blindness  to  merit  and  in  foul-mouthed 
abuse.  It  would  be  impossible  to  point  to  any  review,  published  in  any  coun- 
try, more  persistent  and  malignant  in  its  attacks  upon  men  who  are  now 
recognized  to  have  been  the  intellectual  princes  of  their  time.  This  is  almost 
wholly  due  to  the  influence  of  its  founder  and  first  editor,  William  Gifford, 
and  his  worthy  successor,  John  Wilson  Croker; 


LITERAR  Y  CURIOSITIES.  9^3 

Mr.  Gifford,  as  Hazlitt  tells  us,  was  originally  bred  to  some  handicraft ;  he 
afterwards  contrived  to  learn  Latin,  and  was  for  some  time  an  usher  in  a 
school  till  he  became  a  tutor  in  a  nobleman's  family.  "  The  low-bred,  self- 
taught  man,  the  pedant  and  the  dependant  on  the  great,  contribute  to  form 
the  editor  of  the  Quarterly  Review.  He  is  admirably  qualified  for  his  position 
by  a  happy  combination  of  defects,  natural  and  acquired."  Of  Croker, 
Macaulay  has  given  us  the  following  character,  which  Miss  Martineau  says  he 
had  earned  for  himself,— purchased  by  hard  facts  :  "  Mr.  Croker  is  a  man  who 
would  go  a  hundred  miles  through  sleet  and  snow,  on  the  top  of  a  coach,  in  a 
December  night,  to  search  a  parish  register  for  the  sake  of  showing  that  a 
man  is  illegitimate,  or  a  woman  older  than  she  says  she  is." 

These  were  the  men  who  thought  Hazlitt  a  dull  blockhead  and  Leigh  Hunt 
an  imbecile  ;  whose  acme  of  cleverness  was  reached  when  they  dubbed  the 
gentle  Elia  the  King  of  the  Cockneys ;  who  characterized  the  "  Prometheus 
Unbound"  as  "drivelling  prose  run  mad,"  the  "Revolt  of  Islam"  as  "insup- 
portably  dull,"  and  the  "  Endvmion"  as  "gratuitous  nonsense ;"  who  brutally 
advised  John  Keats,  the  author  of  the  latter,  to  go  back  to  his  gallipots ;  who 
could  not  find  room  in  seventy  closely-printed  pages  for  "  any  but  the  more 
prominent  defects  and  errors"  of  Lord  Macaulay  as  developed  in  the  first  two 
volumes  of  his  "  History  of  England  ;"  and  who  sneered  with  clumsy  irony 
at  the  "  peculiar  brilliancy"  of  "  the  gems  that  irradiate  the  poetical  crown" 
of  that  "singular  genius,"  Mr.  Alfred  Tennyson. 

But  the  charge  of  defective  taste  is  not  the  only  one  that  can  be  brought 
against  them.  A  far  more  serious  count  in  the  indictment  is  the  cowardly 
blackguardism  with  which  they  pursued  the  objects  of  their  dislike.  They 
knew  nothing  of  chivalry,  generosity,  forbearance,  kindliness,  courtesy.  The 
qualities  of  heart  and  of  imagination  which  noble  natures  carry  into  literary 
and  political  strife  were  wanting  in  these  men.  Their  contests  were  the  con- 
tests of  the  streets.  Not  that  English  literary  controversies  have  ever  been 
wanting  in  a  certain  coarse  vitality  and  vigor.  Prelatist  and  Puritan,  Jacobite 
and  Hanoverian,  had  each  known  how  to  call  names.  Milton  had  not  always 
been  golden-mouthed,  and  Butler  had  called  a  spade  a  spade.  Swift  was  not 
nice  ;  Churchill  was  sometimes  vulgar.  But  in  the  worst  days  of  controversy, 
party  rancor  had  generally  spared  the  weak,  left  modest  merit  in  the  shade, 
respected  household  sanctities,  and  turned  its  shafts  aside  from  unoffending 
women.  In  the  palmy  days  of  the  Quarterly  Rez'iew  no  man's  honor,  no 
woman's  good  name,  was  safe.  Neither  rank  nor  obscurity  sheltered  the 
victim  from  their  malice.  No  life  was  too  blameless  for  reproach  ;  no 
career  was  too  noble  for  scandal.  The  men  of  this  school  invented  foul  anec- 
dotes, and  their  delight  was  to  blight  generous  characters.  Poetic  justice 
never  contented  their  revenge,  and  an  enemy  seldom  escaped  from  under 
their  hands  until  he  had  been  made  to  violate  every  precept  in  the  Deca- 
logue. 

It  is  to  be  regretted  that  among  the  members  of  this  bad  school  must  be 
reckoned  John  Wilson,  the  jovial  professor  of  moral  philosophy  and  cock- 
fighting,  who  has  elsewhere  shown  himself  to  be  possessed  of  such  tender 
sensibility  and  such  kindly,  large-hearted  geniality. 

Still,  we  may  find  some  excuse  for  him. 

It  is  true  that  he  did  at  times  indulge  in  abusive  personalities  with  a  reck- 
less disregard  as  to  their  applicability.  But,  before  judging  him  harshly,  the 
impulsive,  erratic  temperament  of  the  man  should  be  taken  into  consider- 
ation, and  it  should  be  remembered  that  he  was  one  to  whom  moderation 
in  anything  was  absolutely  unknown, — whose  praise  and  whose  blame  partook 
alike  of  the  wildest  extravagance,  and  the  horse-play  of  whose  raillery  was 
due  mainly  to  an  unrestrained  exuberance  of  animal  spirits  joined  to  an  in- 


04  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

ability  to  estimate  properly  the  strength  of  the  blows  he  was  dealing  or  the 
amount  of  pain  he  was  inflicting. 

It  was  a  different  thing  from  the  venomous  mahgnity  which  was  the  actu- 
ating motive  in  the  case  of  Croker,  of  Gifford,  of  Lockhart,  and  of  Theodore 
Hook.  Still,  after  all  allowances  are  made,  it  is  impossible  at  this  day  to  read 
some  of  the  abusive  passages  in  the  "  Noctes"  without  a  flush  of  mdignation. 
It  is  not  pleasant,  for  instance,  to  find  Hazlitt  characterized  as  a  "  loathsome 
dunce,"  or  Leigh  Hunt  described  as  "holding  his  stinking  breath;"  to  see 
the  Rev.  C.  C.  Colton,  author  of  "  Lacon,"  portrayed  as  "  a  clergyman  and 
bankrupt  wine-merchant,  an  E.  O.  player,  dicer,  etc.;"  Lord  Brougham  com- 
pared with  a  Billingsgate  fish-wife  ;  the  philanthropist  Martm  referred  to  as 
"that  Irish  jackass;"  the  then  venerable  Jeremy  Bentham  talked  of  as 
"Covey  Sherry  the  old  shrew;"  Northcote,  the  painter,  described  as  "a 
wasp,"  William  Cobbett  as  "  the  old  ruffian,"  Henry  Coleridge  as  "  a  con- 
ceited manikin,"  and  the  political  economist  McCuUoch  as  "an  obscure  and 
insolent  lout"  and  "an  infuriated  blackguard."  Neither  is  it  agreeable  to 
learn  of  a  certain  writer  in  the  Times  that  he  was  not  only  "  a  liar,"  but  also 
"  a  mean  eunuch."  „  ,,     r„  t.   »»         , 

It  was  overstepping  the  amenities  of  criticism  to  call  Mr.  T.  B.  Macaulay 
"an  insolent  puppy,"  and  it  was  ludicrously  inappropriate  to  add  that  he  was 
"one  of  the  most  obscure  men  of  the  age,"  at  a  time  when  his  brilliant  con- 
tributions to  the  Edittburgk  Review  were  attracting  such  attention  as  had 
never  before  been  accorded  to  periodical  literature.  The  facts  that  Macaulay 
was  a  Whig  and  Southey  a  Tory  were  not  sufficient  reason  for  calling  his  re- 
view of  the  latter's  "Colloquies  on  Society"  "a  contemptible  critique,"  writ- 
ten "  in  an  insolent  spirit."  Nor  is  the  following  a  fair  criticism  of  the  Byron 
article  :  "  It  reads  very  like  a  paper  in  one  of  the  early  numbers  of  the  Edin- 
burgh Review,— m\xc\\  the  same  sort  of  excellencies, — the  smart,  rapid,  pop-gun 
impertinence,  the  brisk,  airy,  new-set  truisms,  mingled  with  cold,  shallow, 
heartless  sophistries,  the  conceited  phlegm,  the  affected  abruptness,  the  un- 
conscious audacity  of  impudence  ;  the  whole  lively  and  amusing,  and  much 
commended  among  the  dowagers,  especially  the  smut."  A  writer's  personal 
appearance  is  hardly  fair  game  for  animadversion,  especially  when  the  ani- 
madversion takes  the  form  of  describing  him  as  "  an  ugly,  cross-made,  splay- 
footed, shapeless  little  dumpling  of  a  fellow,  with  a  mouth  from  ear  to  ear." 

All  this  is  bad  enough,  but  it  is  mildness  itself  when  compared  to  the  torrent 
of  filthy  Billingsgate  which  disgraced  the  earlier  numbers  of  "  Maga,"  before 
John  Wilson  had  assumed  full  control  of  the  editorial  reins,  and  when  Lock- 
hart  was  in  reality  the  presiding  genius,  though  Blackwood  himself  was  the 
nominal  editor.  Indeed,  it  should  be  remembered  to  Wilson's  credit  that  the 
withdrawal  of  Lockhart  to  the  congenial  field  afforded  by  the  London  Quar- 
terly, with  the  consequent  increase  of  the  Wilson  influence,  was  the  signal  for 
an  almost  immediate  alteration  in  the  tone  of  the  magazine,  which,  however 
far  from  perfection,  was  a  distinct  and  marked  improvement.  During  the 
Lockhart  period,  Blackwood  wzs  the  vehicle  for  such  revoltingly  coarse  per- 
sonalities as  never  before  and  never  since  found  a  place  in  a  magazine  of 
any  authority  or  standing.  The  writers  of  "The  Cockney  School,"  by  which 
facetious  epithet  these  critics  designated  such  men  as  Lamb,  Keats,  Hazlitt, 
and  Leigh  Hunt,  were  the  objects  of  their  special  fury,  and  against  them  they 
directed  all  the  resources  of  their  foul  vocabulary. 

"Our  hatred  and  contempt  of  Mr.  Leigh  Hunt,"  they  explained  in  one 
place,  "is  not  so  much  owing  to  his  shameless  irreverence  to  his  aged  and 
afflicted  king  ;  to  his  profligate  attacks  on  the  character  of  the  king's  sons  ; 
to  his  low-born  insolence  to  that  aristocracy  with  whom  he  would  in  vain  claim 
the  alliance  of  one  illustrious  friendship  ;  to  his  paid  panderism  to  the  vilest 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  965 

passions  of  that  mob  of  which  he  is  himself  a  firebrand ;  to  the  leprous  crust 
of  self-conceit  with  which  his  whole  moral  being  is  indurated  ;  to  that  loath- 
some vulgarity  which  constantly  clings  round  him  like  a  vermined  garment 
from  St.  Giles's  ;  to  that  irritable  temper  which  keeps  the  unhappy  man,  in 
spite  even  of  his  vanity,  in  a  perpetual  fret  with  himself  and  all  the  world 
besides,  and  that  shows  itself  equally  in  his  deadly  enmities  and  capricious 
friendships  ; — our  hatred  and  contempt  of  Leigh  Hunt,  we  say,  is  not  so  much 
owing  to  these  and  other  causes  as  to  the  odious  and  unnatural  harlotry  of  his 
polluted  muse.  We  were  the  first  to  brand  with  a  burning  iron  the  false  face 
of  this  kept-mistress  of  a  demoralizing  incendiary.  We  tore  off  her  gaudy 
veil  and  transparent  drapery,  and  exhibited  the  painted  cheeks  and  writhing 
limbs  of  the  prostitute." 

Imagine  the  Atlantic  Monthly  talking  of  Mr.  Stedman  in  this  strain,  or  Mr. 
Gilder  using  the  pages  of  the  Century  to  pour  out  scurrility  of  this  sort  upon 
some  rival  author  who  differed  with  him  in  politics  ! 

Elsewhere  we  are  told  that  Mr.  Hunt  "  is  the  meanest,  the  filthiest,  and  the 
most  vulgar  of  Cockney  poetasters."  He  is  apostrophized  as  "  You  exquisite 
idiot !"  "  Sensualist  that  you  are  !"  He  is  informed  that  "  Even  in  those 
scenes  of  wickedness  where  alone,  unhappy  man,  your  verses  find  willing 
readers,  there  occur  many  moments  of  languor  and  remorse  wherein  the 
daughters  of  degradation  themselves  toss  from  their  hands,  with  angry  loath- 
ing, the  obscene  and  traitorous  pages  of  your  'Rimini.'  In  those  who  have 
sinned  from  weakness  or  levity,  the  spark  of  original  conscience  is  not  always 
totally  extinguished.  To  your  breast  alone,  and  to  those  of  others  like  you, 
the  deliberate,  pensive,  and  sentimental  apostles  of  profligacy,  there  comes  no 
visiting  of  i^urity,  no  drop  of  repentance." 

Mr.  Hazlitt,  on  the  same  authority,  is  "  a  mere  ulcer  ;  a  sore  from  head  to 
foot ;  a  poor  devil  so  completely  flayed  that  there  is  not  a  square  half-inch  of 
healthy  flesh  on  his  carcass  ;  an  overgjrown  pimple,  sore  to  the  touch."  "  He 
feels  that  he  is  exiled  from  decent  society,"  and  "  has  never  risen  higher  than 
the  lowest  circle  of  the  press-gang ;  reporters  fight  shy,  and  the  editors  of 
Sunday  newspapers  turn  up  their  noses  at  the  smell  of  his  approach."  His 
works  are  "a  vocabulary  of  vapid  pollution,"  and  his  "dirty  imagination  is 
always  plunging  into  some  dirty  scrape." 

Now  let  us  turn  to  the  Quarterly  Review,  and  we  shall  find  that,  although 
its  blackguardism  is  not  perhaps  quite  up  to  the  early  Blackwood  s,\.z.x\(}idLxd.,  it 
has  nevertheless  managed  to  reach  a  goodly  elevation  of  its  own,  and  that, 
on  the  other  hand,  the  number  of  great  names  which  the  Quarterly  has 
attempted  to  damn  into  oblivion  is  larger  than  can  be  found  on  the  records 
of  any  other  periodical  of  similar  standing. 

All  of  Hazlitt's  critical  works  were  attacked  with  the  utmost  virulence  as 
fast  as  they  came  out.  Because  the  author  differed  in  politics  from  the  re- 
viewers, they  strove,  and  not  unsuccessfully,  to  obscure  his  literary  reputa- 
tion in  the  eyes  of  his  readers.  Hazlitt  himself  tells  us  that  the  sale  of  his 
"  Characters  of  Shakespeare's  Plays,"  which  had  reached  nearly  a  thousand 
copies  in  a  few  weeks,  was  instantly  stopped  by  the  appearance  of  a  "slash- 
ing" critique  in  the  Quarterly.  "Not  even  the  Whigs,"  he  complains,  "could 
stomach  it."  And  yet  one  would  have  thought  that  the  dullest  public  might 
have  discerned  the  rancorous  spite  which  had  alone  dictated  the  article.  Here 
is  the  concluding  sentence  :  "  We  should  not  have  condescended  to  notice  the 
senseless  and  wicked  sophistry  of  this  writer,  or  to  point  it  out  to  the  con- 
tempt of  the  reader,  had  we  not  considered  him  as  one  of  the  representatives 
of  a  class  of  men  by  whom  literature  is  more  than  at  any  former  period  dis- 
graced, and  therefore  convinced  that  it  might  not  be  unprofitable  to  show  how 
very  small  a  portion  of  talent  and  literature  were  necessary  for  carrying  oa 
8l* 


9^6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

the  trade  of  sedition.  The  few  specimens  which  we  have  selected  of  his 
ethics  and  his  criticisms  are  more  than  sufficient  to  prove  that  Mr.  Hazlitt's 
knowledge  of  Shakespeare  and  the  English  language  is  exactly  on  a  par  with 
the  purity  of  his  morals  and  the  depth  of  his  understanding." 

The  collection  of  essays  entitled  "  The  Round  Table"  is,  according  to  the 
same  authoritv,  "  loathsome  trash,"  "  full  of  vulgar  descriptions,  silly  para- 
doxes, flat  truisms,  musty  sophistry,  broken  English,  ill  humor,  and  ran- 
corous abuse,"  the  author  being  a  sour  Jacobin,  who  was  personally  beneath 
notice ;  "  but  if  the  creature  in  his  endeavor  to  crawl  into  the  light  must  take 
his  way  over  the  tombs  of  illustrious  men,  disfiguring  the  records  of  their 
greatness  with  the  slime  and  filth  which  mark  his  track,  it  is  right  to  point 
him  out,  that  he  may  be  flung  back  to  the  situation  on  which  Nature  designed 
that  he  should  grow." 

Leigh  Hunt  is  dealt  with  in  a  very  similar  manner. 

"  Lord  Byron  and  some  of  his  Contemporaries"  the  Quarterly  considered 
"  the  miserable  book  of  a  miserable  man  :  the  little  airy  fopperies  of  its 
manner  are  like  the  fantastic  trip  and  convulsive  simpers  of  some  poor  worn- 
out  wanton,  struggling  between   famine  and  remorse,  leering  through  her 
tears.  .  .  .  The  most  ludicrous  conceit,  grafted  on  the  most  deplorable  inca- 
pacity, has  filled  the  paltry  mind  of  the  gentleman-of-the-press  now  before 
us  with  a  chaos  of  crude,  pert  dogmas,  which  defy  all  analysis,  and  which  it 
is  just  possible  to  pity  more  than  despise."     The  reviewer  thinks  it  much  too 
bad  that  "  the  glorious  though  melancholy  memory"  of  Byron 
"  Must  also  bear  the  vile  attacks 
Of  ragged  curs  and  vulgar  hacks" 
whom  he  fed  ;  that  his  bones  must  be  scraped  up  from  their  bed  of  repose 
"  to  be  at  once  grinned  and  howled  over  by  creatures  who,  even  in  the  least 
hyena-like  of  their  moods,  can  touch  nothing  that  mankind  could  wish  to 
respect,  without  polluting  it." 

Reviewing  Shelley's  "  Revolt  of  Islam,"  the  Quarterly  critic  remarks  that, 
with  minds  of  a  certain  class,  notoriety,  infamy,  anything,  is  better  than  ob- 
scurity ;  baffled  in  a  thousand  attempts  after  fame,  they  will  still  make  one 
more,  at  whatever  risk,  and  they  end  commonly  like  an  awkward  chemist  who 
perseveres  in  tampering  with  his  ingredients  till,  in  an  unlucky  moment,  they 
take  fire  and  he  is  blown  up  by  the  explosion.  "  The  poem  has  some  beautiful 
stanzas,  but  they  are  of  rare  occurrence  ;  as  a  whole,  it  is  insupportably  dull 
and  laboriously  obscure ;  the  story  is  almost  wholly  devoid  of  interest  and 
very  meagre  ;  nor  can  we  admire  Mr.  Shelley's  mode  of  making  up  for  this 
defect :  as  he  has  but  one  incident  where  he  should  have  ten,  he  tells  that  one 
so  intricately  that  it  takes  the  time  of  ten  to  comprehend  it." 

A  little  farther  on  in  the  same  article  the  reviewer  goes  somewhat  out  of 
his  way  to  bestow  a  passing  slap  upon  his  favorite  game,  Leigh  Hunt.  Of 
Shelley  he  remarks,  "  Much  may  be  said  with  truth  which  we  not  long  since 
said  of  his  friend  and  leader,- Mr.  Hunt ;  he  has  not,  indeed,  all  that  is  odious 
and  contemptible  in  the  character  of  that  person  ;  so  far  as  we  have  seen,  he 
has  never  exhibited  the  bustling  vulgarity,  the  ludicrous  aff'ectation,  the  factious 
flippancy,  or  the  selfish  heartlessness,  which  it  is  hard  for  our  feelings  to  treat 
with  the  mere  contempt  they  merit.  Like  him,  however,  Mr.  Shelley  is  a 
very  vain  man  ;  and,  like  most  very  vaip  men,  he  is  but  half  instructed  in 
knowledge  and  less  than  half  disciplined  in  reasoning  powers  ;  his  vanity, 
wanting  the  control  of  the  faith  that  he  derides,  has  been  his  ruin  ;  it  has 
made  him  too  impatient  of  applause  and  distinction  to  earn  them  in  the  fair 
course  of  labor ;  like  a  speculator  in  trade,  he  would  be  rich  without  capital 
and  without  delay  ;  and,  as  might  have  been  anticipated,  his  speculations  have 
ended  only  in  disappointments." 


■LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  f)(i1 

In  Mrs.  Gaskell's  "  Life  of  Charlotte  Bronte"  we  learn  how  terribly  that 
proud,  sensitive  spirit  was  wounded  by  the  coarse  innuendoes  indulged  in  by 
one  of  the  Quarterly  critics  in  noticing  "  Jane  Eyre"  on  its  first  appearance, 
— of  course  before  the  secret  of  its  authorship  was  divulged.  We  quote  what 
happens  to  be  about  the  most  offensive  paragraph,  not  merely  because  it 
illustrates  the  liberties  which  only  a  generation  ago  were  considered  as  within 
the  limits  of  gentlemanly  criticism  in  the  intellectual  capital  of  Europe,  but 
also  because  it  embodies  some  curious  bits  of  the  current  gossip  of  the  town, 
when  speculation  was  rife  as  to  the  identity  of  this  mysterious  Currer  Bell  who 
had  burst  with  such  sudden  brilliance  into  the  literary  world  : 

"There  seem  to  have  arisen  in  the  novel-reading  world  some  doubts  as  to 
who. really  wrote  this  book,  and  various  rumors,  more  or  less  romantic,  have 
been  current  in  May  Fair,  the  metropolis  of  Gossip,  as  to  the  authorship. 
For  instance,  'Jane  Eyre'  is  sentimentally  assumed  to  have  proceeded  from 
the  pen  of  Mr.  Thackeray's  governess,  whom  he  had  himself  chosen  as  his 
model  for  Becky,  and  who,  in  mingled  love  and  revenge,  personified  him  in 
return  as  Mr.  Rochester.  In  this  case  it  is  evident  that  the  author  of '  Vanity 
Fair,'  whose  own  pencil  makes  him  gray-haired,  has  had  the  best  of  it,  though 
his  children  may  have  had  the  worst,  having  at  all  events  succeeded  in  hitting 
that  vulnerable  point  in  the  Becky  bosom  which  it  is  our  firm  belief  no  man  born 
of  woman,  from  her  Soho  to  her  Ostend  days,  had  so  much  as  grazed.  To 
this  ingenious  rumor  the  coincidence  of  the  second  edition  of  'Jane  Eyre' 
being  dedicated  to  Mr.  Thackeray  has  probably  given  rise.  For  our  part,  we 
see  no  great  interest  in  the  question  at  all.  The  first  edition  of  'Jane  Eyre' 
purports  to  be  edited  by  Currer  Bell,  one  of  a  trio  of  brothers,  or  sisters,  or 
cousins,  by  name  Currer,  Acton,  and  Ellis  Bell,  already  known  as  the  joint 
authors  of  a  volume  of  poems;  the  second  edition,  the  same, — dedicated, 
however,  by  the  author,  to  Mr.  Thackeray,— and  the  dedication  (itself  an 
indubitable  chip  of  'Jane  Eyre')  signed  Currer  Bell.  Author  and  editor, 
therefore,  are  one,  and  we  are  as  much  satisfied  to  accept  this  double  individual 
under  the  name  of  Currer  Bell  as  under  any  other  more  or  less  euphonious. 
Whoever  it  be,  it  is  a  person  who  with  great  mental  powers  combines  a  total 
ignorance  of  the  habits  of  society,  a  great  coarseness  of  taste,  and  a  heathen- 
ish doctrine  of  religion.  .  .  .  Without  entering  into  the  question  whether  the 
power  of  the  writing  be  above  her  or  the  vulgarity  below  her,  there  are,  we 
believe,  minutias  of  circumstantial  evidence  which  at  once  acquit  the  feminine 
hand.  No  woman — a  lady  friend,  whom  we  are  always  happy  to  consult, 
assures  us — makes  mistakes  in  her  own  metier ;  no  woman  trusses  game  and 
garnishes  dessert-dishes  with  the  same  hands,  or  talks  of  so  doing  in  the  same 
breath.  Above  all,  no  woman  attires  another  in  such  fancy  dresses  as  Jane's 
ladies  assume, — Miss  Ingram  coming  down,  irresistible,  '  in  a  morning-robe 
of  sky-blue  crape,  a  gauze  azure  scarf  twisted  in  her  hair.'  No  lady,  we 
understand,  when  suddenly  roused  in  the  night,  would  think  of  hurrying  on  a 
frock.  They  have  garments  more  convenient  for  such  occasions,  and  more 
becoming,  too.  This  evidence  seems  incontrovertible.  Even  granting  that 
these  incongruities  were  purposely  assumed  for  the  purpose  of  disguising  the 
female  pen,  there  is  little  gained ;  for  if  we  ascribe  it  to  a  woman  at  all,  there 
is  no  alternative  but  to  ascribe  it  to  one  who,  for  some  sufficient  reason,  has 
forfeited  the  society  of  her  sex." 

For  gratuitous  wickedness,  the  insult  conveyed  in  the  last  sentence  of  the 
above  quotation  cannot  be  excelled,  even  in  the  pages  of  the  Qua7-terly  itself. 

In  1833  the  Quarterly  Review  again  distinguished  itself  in  its  first  mention 
of  Tennyson. 

The  reviewer  in  an  ironic  strain  talks  about  introducing  "  to  the  admira- 
tion of  our  more  sequestered  readers  a  new  prodigy  of  genius, — another  and 


968  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

a  brighter  star  of  that  galaxy  or  milky  way  of  poetry  of  which  the  lamented 
Keats  was  the  harbinger."  Then  he  proceeds  through  fifteen  pages  to  ridi- 
cule every  idea  and  every  expression  which  by  ingenuity  and  malice  prepense 
can  be  tortured  into  material  for  his  banter.     Thus,  quoting  this  verse, — 

Sweet  as  the  noise,  in  parched  plains. 
Of  bubbling  wells  that  fret  the  stones 

(If  any  sense  in  me  remains). 
Thy  words  will  be,  thy  cheerful  tones 
As  welcome  to  my  crumbling  bones,^ 

he  sees  a  very  obvious  possibility  for  jest  in  the  words  "  If  any  sense  in  me 
remains."  "This  doubt,"  he  says,  "is  inconsistent  with  the  opening  stanza 
of  the  piece,  and,  in  fact,  too  modest :  we  take  upon  ourselves  to  reassure 
Mr.  Tennyson  that,  even  after  he  shall  be  dead  and  buried,  as  much  se7ise 
will  still  remain  as  he  has  now  the  good  fortune  to  possess."  "  The  accumu- 
lation of  tender  images  in  the  following  lines  appears  not  less  wonderful : 

Remember  you  that  pleasant  day 
When,  after  roving  in  the  woods 

('Twas  April  then),  I  came  and  lay 
Beneath  those  gummy  chestnut-buds  ? 

A  water-rat  from  off  the  bank 

Plunged  in  the  stream.     With  idle  care, 
Down-looking  through  the  sedges  rank, 

I  saw  your  troubled  image  there. 

If  you  remember,  you  had  set 

Upon  the  narrow  casement-edge 
A  long  green  box  of  mignonette. 

And  you  were  leaning  on  the  ledge. 

The  poet's  truth  to  nature  in  his  gummy  chestnut-buds,  and  to  art  in  the 
'long  green  box'  of  mignonette,  and  that  masterly  touch  of  likening  the 
first  intrusion  of  love  into  the  virgin  bosom  of  the  miller's  daughter  to  the 
plunging  of  the  water-rat  into  the  mill-dam, — these  are  beauties  which,  we 
do  not  fear  to  say,  equal  anything  even  in  Keats."  The  strain  of  mockery 
is  kept  up  throughout  the  remarks  on  "The  Hesperides,"  "The  Palace  of 
Art,"  and  "  A  Dream  of  Fair  Women." 

Nor  did  the  reviewer  do  any  better  with  Dickens. 

In  a  notice  of  the  "  Pickwick  Papers"  on  their  first  appearance,  in  which 
blame  and  praise  are  pretty  equally  mixed,  he  assumed  a  prophetic  strain. 

"We  are  inclined  to  predict,"  he  says,  "of  works  of  this  style,  both  in 
England  and  France  (where  the  manufacture  is  flourishing  on  a  very  exten- 
sive and  somewhat  profligate  scale),  that  an  ephemeral  popularity  will  be 
followed  by  early  oblivion."  And  again  :  "  Indications  are  not  wanting  that 
the  particular  vein  of  humor  which  has  hitherto  yielded  so  much  attractive 
metal  is  worked  out.  .  .  .  The  fact  is,  Mr.  Dickens  writes  too  often  and  too 
fast.  ...  If  he  persists  much  longer  in  this  course,  it  requires  no  gift  of 
prophecy  to  foretell  his  fate :  he  has  risen  like  a  rocket,  and  he  will  come 
down  like  the  stick." 

The  critic  in  this  case  was  Lockhart,  and  Dickens  is  said  to  have  met  him 
at  a  dinner-party  not  long  after  the  appearance  of  the  article,  when  the  person 
who  introduced  the  pair  had  the  bad  taste  to  make  an  allusion  to  the  prophecy. 
The  author  cordially  gras])ed  the  critic  by  the  hand,  and  exclaimed,  with  a  sly 
twinkle  in  his  eye,  "  I  will  watch  for  that  stick,  Mr.  Lockhart,  and  when  it 
does  come  down  I  will  break  it  across  your  back." 

We  have  left  ourselves  small  room  to  speak  of  the  Edinburgh  ReviciU. 
But  there  is  really  far  less  that  is  outre  in  the  career  of  that  periodical.  It 
was  often  narrow-minded  and  unjust.  It  thought  Wordsworth's  "  Excursion" 
would  never  do.     It  called  the  same  poet's  "  White  Doe  of  Rylstone"  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  969 

worst  poem  ever  bound  in  covers.  It  fell  foul  of  Byron's  maiden  effort,  and 
provoked  the  famous  rejoinder  "  English  Bards  and  Scotch  Reviewers."  It 
failed  to  see  any  merit  in  Goethe.  But  at  all  events  Jeffrey,  who  conducted 
it,  was  a  gentleman, — a  little  narrow,  a  little  conservative,  sometimes  even  a 
little  bigoted,  as  gentlemen  are  not  unapt  to  be,  but  always  courteous  and 
dignified.  Now,  the  gentleman  is  never  so  picturesque  an  object  as  the 
savage.  And  it  is  the  picturesque  savagery  of  the  Quarterly  which  led  us 
beyond  our  limits. 

Rhopalic  verse,  or  Wedge  verse,  a  line  in  which  each  succeeding  word 
has  more  syllables  than  the  preceding, — e.g. : 

Hope  ever  solaces  miserable  individuals. 
The  term  is  derived  from  the  Greek  ^Mttdkov,  "  a  club,"  which  gets  larger  from 
handle  to  tip. 

Rhymes,  Eccentricities  o£  From  time  to  time  it  has  been  boldly 
asserted  by  the  unwary  that  there  is  no  rhyme  for  some  particular  English 
word.  In  1865-66  the  whole  subject  was  resolved  into  a  sort  of  symposium 
in  the  Atheticcum  and  afterwards  in  the  Notes  and  Queries.  Word  after  word 
was  suggested  as  a  strictly  baccalaureate  one,  obstinately  refusing  to  be  led  to 
the  altar,  but  the  symposiacs  eventually  succeeded  in  fitting  all  with  a  mate, 
though  frequently  a  halt  and  ungainly  one.  In  the  words  of  Mr.  W.  W. 
Skeat,  who  proved  himself  the  greatest  of  these  verbal  match-makers,  "  It 
is  easy  for  any  one  to  assert  that  there  exists  no  rhyme  to  such  and  such  a 
word.  Whoever  makes  such  an  assertion  should  remember  that  he  only 
means  that  he  does  not  know  of  one  himself;  but  it  is  unfair  to  assume  that 
therefore  one  cannot  be  found." 

Some  of  the  hardest  nuts  to  crack  were  the  following :  porringer,  polka, 
orange,  silver,  chimney,  whiskey,  Lisbon,  window,  widow. 

An  anonymous  poet,  it  was  found,  had  already  produced  the  following 
beautiful  verses  which  wrestle  with  the  difficulties  of  the  first  word : 

The  second  James  a  daughter  had. 

Too  fine  to  lick  a  porringer  ; 
He  sought  her  out  a  noble  lad. 

And  gave  the  Prince  of  Orange  her. 

Mr.  Skeat  suggested  another,  though  he  acknowledged  that  it  did  not  reach 
the  masterly  perfection  of  the  first : 

When  nations  doubt  our  power  to  fight. 

We  smile  at  every  foreign  jeer. 
And  with  untroubled  appetite 
Still  empty  plate  and  porringer. 
Mr.  Skeat  also  proposed  two  rhymes  for  polka, — doll-car,  which  he,  how- 
ever, dismisses  as  cockney  and  unmusical,  and  the  following,  which  he  deems 
entirely  permissible : 

Our  Christmas-tree  produced  a  doll,  ca- 
parisoned to  dance  the  polka. 

The  same  authority  perpetrated  this  harmonious  quintet  : 
I  gave  my  darling  child  a  lemon. 
That  lately  grew  its  fragrant  stem  on  ; 
And  next,  to  give  her  pleasure  more  range, 
I  offered  her  a  juicy  orange. 
And  nuts,  she  cracked  them  in  the  door-hinge. 

An  Indian  correspondent  of  the  Athenceiim  gave  this,  which  sought  to  dispose 
of  two  refractory  rhymes  in  one  quatrain  : 

From  the  Indus  to  the  Blorenge 

Came  the  rajah  in  a  month. 
Eating  now  and  then  an  orange. 
Conning  all  the  day  his  Grunth. 


97©  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  Blorenge,  it  appears,  is  a  hill  near  Abergavenny.  The  Grunth  is  the 
sacred  book  of  the  Sikhs.  Unfortunately,  the  latter,  correctly  pronounced, 
does  not  quite  rhyme  with  month.  But  Mr.  Skeat  comes  again  to  the  rescue, 
and  suggests, — 

Search  through  the  works  of  Thackeray,  you'll  find  a  rhyme  for  month  : 

He  tells  us  of  Phil  Fogarty  of  the  fighting  Onety-oneth. 

And  then  it  was   found  that  Dr.  Whewell,  or,  as  others  asserted,  one  Dr. 

Donaldson,  of  Cambridge,  had  already  responded  to  a  similar  challenge  with 

an  anticipatory  variation  of  the  idea : 

Youths  who  would  senior  wranglers  be 

Must  drink  the  juice  distilled  from  tea, 

Must  burn  the  midnight  oil  from  month  to  month, 

Raising  binomials  to  the  n  +  ith  («  plus  oneth). 

Another  gentleman,  signing  himself  "  Lemuel  Lithper,"  sent  the  following 
solution  and  explanatory  notes  through  an  amanuensis  : 

To   A    WiTWALLITHT. 

When  I  wath  at  churth  latht  month, 

I  thaw  thikthty-theven  nunth. 

And  they  entered  all  by  oneth, 

Blething  all  the  little  thonth  ; 

Worthe  than  Vandalth,  Gothth,  and  Hunth 

Would  be  he  who'd  hunt  the  Nunth. 

Notes.— A  ■witwallitht ,  a  ritualist ;  tiunth,  nuns ;  all  by  oneth,  all  by  ones ;  thonth,  sons ; 
Gothth,  Goths. 

Here  are  two  other  efforts  which  only  vary  the  theme.  In  one  of  them  a 
lisping  little  girl  is  made  to  say, — 

I  can  get  a  rhyme  for  a  month  ; 
I  can  thay  it  now,  I  thed  it  wunth. 

The  second  explains  itself: 

"  You  can't,"  says  Tom  to  lisping  Bill, 

"  Find  any  rhyme  for  month." 
"  A  great  mithtake,"  was  Bill's  reply  ; 

"  I'll  find  a  rhyme  at  wunth." 

Christina  Rossetti  has  done  better  in  the  admirable  book  of  nursery  rhymes 
which  she  has  published  under  the  title  of  "  Sing-Song :" 
How  many  weeks  in  a  month? 
Four,  as  the  swift  moon  runn'th. 

For  a  rhyme  to  chimney  reference  was  made  to  the  "  Rejected  Addresses," 
•where  slim  knee  is  adopted,  and  to  the  following,  which  had  already  been  pub- 
lished in  the  Welcome  Guest  (November  9,  1861) : 

Sir,  I  hope  it's  no  crime 

To  send  you  the  rhyme. 
Though  you  say  there  is  none,  for  chimney : 

To  prove  it's  not  true. 

As  stated  by  you, 
Know  this,  sir,  I  found  it  in  Rhymney. 

This  refers  to  some  mines  bearing  the  name.  Lisbon  was  disposed  of  by 
quoting  an  impromptu  by  the  Earl  of  Rochester  when  Charles  II.  challenged 
him  to  this  very  feat  of  rhyming  : 

Here's  a  health  to  Kate, 
Our  master's  mate, 
Of  the  royal  house  of  Lisbon  ; 
But  the  devil  take  Hyde, 
And  the  bishop  beside. 
That  would  make  her  bone  bus  bone. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  971 

Whiskey  simply  required  a  knowledge  of  Burns : 

Let  half-starved  slaves,  in  warmer  skies, 
See  future  wines,  rich-clustering,  rise ; 
Their  lot  auld  Scotland  ne'er  envies. 

But  blithe  and  frisky, 
She  eyes  her  free-born,  martial  boys 

Tak'  aff  their  whiskey ; 

and  again : 

This  while  she's  been  in  crankous  mood. 
Her  lost  militia  fired  her  bluid  ; 
(Deil  na  they  never  mair  do  guid, 

Played  her  that  pliskie  !) 
And  now  she's  like  to  rin  red-wud 

About  her  whiskey ; 

while  a  correspondent  suggested, — 

I  see  you,  sir,  at  a  dead-lock 

About  a  rhyme  for  whiskey  ; 
To  help  you  out  I've  searched  my  stock. 

Do,  pray,  accept  of  this  key. 

The  following  rhyme  to  window,  from  the  old  Knickerbocker  Magazine, 

A  cruel  man  a  beetle  caught, 

And  to  the  wall  him  pinned,  oh  ! 
Then  said  the  beetle  to  the  crowd, 
"  Though  I'm  stuck  up  I  am  not  proud," 

And  his  soul  went  out  of  the  window, 

was  supplemented  by  Mr.  Skeat's  suggestions  of  such  compound  words  a^ 
sinned  O !  skinned  O!  Scinde  O!  etc.,  and  by  this  quatrain  from  the  same 
facile  pen  : 

Bold  Robin  Hood,  that  archer  good. 

Shot  down  fat  buck  and  thin  doe, 
Rough  storms  withstood  in  thick  greenwood, 

Nor  cared  for  door  or  window. 

Widow  was  disposed  of  by  this  couplet,  supposed  to  be  uttered  by  Mr. 
Pickwick  after  his  release  from  jail : 

Since  of  this  suit  I  now  am  rid,  oh  ! 
Ne'er  again  I'll  lodge  with  a  widow. 

Some  years  later,  W.  S.  Gilbert,  F.  C.  Burnand,  H.  J.  Byron,  and  others, 
held  another  symposium  of  a  similar  kind  in  the  columns  of  the  London 
Graphic.  The  word  that  stumped  everybody  was  silver.  Finally  Mr,  Gilbert 
brought  the  debate  to  a  close.  He  declared  that  no  rhyme  existed  save  the 
nursery  "  Little  Dicky  Dilver."  Therefore  he  was  now  engaged  upon  and 
had  nearly  perfected  a  machine  for  extracting  moonshine  from  cucumbers, 
and  when  patented  he  should  call  it  a  "chilver." 

Liquid  is  another  dissyllabic  poser.  Two  American  poets  have  "  rastled" 
with  it     C.  A.  Bristed  attempted  to  meet  it  as  follows  : 

After  imbibing  liquid, 

A  man  in  the  South 
Duly  proceeds  to  stick  quid 
(Very  likely  a  thick  quid) 

Into  his  mouth ; 

and  "Mickey  Rooney"  contributed  this  : 

Shure  Quicquid  is  a  thick  wit. 
If  he  cannot  rhyme  to  liquid, 
A  thing  that  any  Mick  wid 

The  greatest  aise  can  do  : 
Just  take  the  herb  called  chickweed. 
Which  they  often  cure  the  sick  wid. 
That's  a  dacent  rhyme  for  liquid. 

And  from  a  Mickey,  too. 


972  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

In  1829,  Tennyson,  an  undergraduate  at  Trinity  College,  Cambridge,  gained 
the  Chancellor's  medal  for  a  prize  poem  on  the  assigned  subject  of  "  Tim- 
buctoo."  Cambridge  tradition  asserts  that  when  the  subject  was  given  out  it 
was  said  to  be  impossible  to  find  a  rhyme  for  Timbuctoo.  Several  university 
wits  tried  their  hands  at  a  sort  of  burlesque  competition  for  the  prize.  The 
best  was  voted  to  be  the  following  : 

If  I  were  a  cassowary 

On  the  plains  of  Timbuctoo, 
I  would  eat  a  missionarj', 

Prayer-book,  Bible,  and  hymn-book  too. 

This  brings  us  to  the  carefully  cultivated  and  fertile  field  of  complicated 
and  extravagant  rhyming.  If  rhyme  add  beauty  and  force  to  serious  verse, 
in  satirical  it  is,  to  quote  James  Russell  Lowell, — 

irresistible, 
Like  a  man  with  eight  trumps  in  his  hand  at  a  whist-table  ; 
1  bethought  me  at  first  that  the  rhyme  was  untwistable. 
Though  I  might  have  lugged  in  an  allusion  to  Christabel. 

Byron  thought  so,  and  said, — 

Prose  poets  like  blank  verse  ;  I  write  in  rhyme  ; 
Good  workmen  never  quarrel  with  their  tools. 

We  all  remember  his  delicious  couplet  in  "  Don  Juan," — 

But,  oh,  ye  lords  of  ladies  intellectual, 

Inform  us  truly,  have  they  not  henpecked  you  all  ? — 

and  the  equally  epigrammatic 

Christians  have  burned  each  other,  quite  persuaded 
That  all  the  apostles  would  have  done  as  they  did. 

A  third  example  is  a  still  greater  triumph  over  difficulties  : 

There's  not  a  sea  the  passenger  e'er  pukes  in 
Turns  up  more  dangerous  breakers  than  the  Euxine. 

When  Browning,  among  other  feats  of  a  similar  kind,  discovered  a  rhyme 
to  ranunaihis  ("Tommy,  make  room  for  your  uncle  us"),  one  of  his  admirers 
addressed  him  in  Horner's  words  :  "  Now  that  he  hath  fashioned  this,  never 
another  may  he  fashion."  The  wit  of  ^ueer  rhymes,  indeed,  often  verges  on 
the  mechanical,  and  that  is  why  the  "  Ingoldsby  Legends"  and  Hood's  quainter 
poems  are  seldom  studied  by  the  mature. 

Yet  anything  that  appeals  so  vividly  to  youth,  and  especially  to  academic 
youth,  is  not  to  be  despised.  Doubtless  all  of  us  can  remember  the  delight 
we  felt  when  we  first  came  across  such  lines  as  these  from  "  Look  at  the 
Clock :" 

Having  once  gained  the  summit,  and  managed  to  cross  it,  he 
Rolls  down  the  side  with  uncommon  velocity  ; 

or  these  from  "  The  Ghost :" 

And,  being  of  a  temper  somewhat  warm,  I 

Would  now  and  then  seize  upon  small  occasion 
A  stick  or  stool,  or  anything  that  round  did  lie. 
And  baste  her  lord  and  master  most  confoundedly  ; 
or  these  from  "  The  Tragedy  :" 

The  poor  little  Page,  too,  himself  got  no  quarter,  but 
Was  served  the  same  way. 
And  was  lound  the  next  day 
With  his  heels  in  the  a:r  .^nd  his  head  in  the  water-butt. 

Some  of  Samuel  Butler's  rhymes  have  been  highly  admired  for  two  centu- 
ries. But  the  admiration  is  somewhat  perfunctory  in  these  days,  when  they 
have  been  so  utterly  excelled  : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  973 

As  the  ancients 
Say  wisely,  have  a  care  o'  th'  main  chance. 

There  was  an  ancient  sage  philosopher 
Who  had  read  Alexander  Ross  over. 

And  pulpit  drum  ecclesiastick 

Was  beat  with  fist  instead  of  a  stick. 

These  examples,  which  were  thought  excruciatingly  funny  by  our  ancestors, 
would  excite  no  comment  to-day  if  they  appeared  in  Puck  or  in  Punch.  The 
latter,  moreover,  is  not  original,  but  borrowed  from  a  scarce  poem  by  Thomas 
Stanley,  "The  Debauchee,"  which  was  issued  in  1651,  or  twelve  years  before 
"  Hudibras"  appeared  : 

By  thy  language  cabalistic. 

By  thy  cymbal  drum  and  his  stick. 

Poe  declared  it  a  mistake  to  suppose  that  rhyme  must  be  mechanically 
tagged  on  to  the  ends  of  lines.  Unexpectedness,  he  thought,  added  to  the  force 
of  a  rhyme,  as  in  the  "  Raven  :" 

And  the  silken,  sad  uncertain  rustling  of  each  purple  curtain 
Thrilled  n\f:,  filled  me  with  fantastic  terrors  never  felt  before ; 

and  in  "  For  Annie  :" 

My  tantalizing  spirit 

Here  blandly  reposes, — 
Forgetting  or  never 

Regretting  its  roses. 

Mr.  Frederick  Locker  uses  the  same  effect  in  "  The  Serenade :" 

Arise,  then,  and  hazy 

Distrust  from  thee  fling 
For  sorrows  that  crazy 

To-morrows  may  bring. 

But  this  often  degenerates  into  a  mere  trick,  and  C.  S.  Calverley  has  rightly 
satirized  its  extreme  manifestations  : 

In  the  gloaming  to  be  roaming  where  the  crested  waves  are  foaming. 
And  the  shy  mermaidens  combing  locks  that  ripple  to  their  feet, — 
Where  the  gloaming  is  I  never  made  the  ghost  of  an  endeavor 
To  discover,— but  whatever  were  the  hour,  it  would  be  sweet. 

Tom  Hood,  who  was  nothing  if  not  original,  produced  the  following  as  a 
new  method  of  rhyming,  the  rhyme-words  being  placed  at  the  beginning 
instead  of  the  end  of  the  line  : 

Rat  tat  it  went  upon  the  lion's  chin  ; 

"That  hat  I  know  it.!"  cried  the  joyful  girl; 

"  Summers  it  is,  I  know  him  by  his  knock, 

Comers  like  him  are  welcome  as  the  day,"  etc. 

He  also  offered  the  following  as  a  compromise  between  blank  verse  and 
rhyme : 

If  I  were  used  to  writing  verse. 

And  had  a  muse  not  so  perverse. 

But  prompt  at  Fancy's  call  to  spring 

And  carol  like  a  bird  in  spring, 

Or  like  a  bee  in  summer-time 

That  hums  about  a  bed  of  thyme,  etc. 

But  his  greatest  effort  was  the  following,  which  he  called  "  A  Nocturnal 
Sketch  :" 

Even  is  come  ;  and  from  the  dark  Park,  hark. 
The  signal  of  the  setting  sun, — one  gun  ! 
And  six  is  sounding  from  the  chime,— prime  time 
To  go  and  see  the  Drury-Lane  Dane  slain. 
Or  hear  Othello's  jealous  doubt  spout  out, 
Or  Macbeth  raving  at  that  shade-made  blade, 

82 


974  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Denying  to  his  frantic  clutch  much  touch  ; 
Or  else  to  see  Ducrow  with  wide  stride  ride 
Four  horses  as  no  other  man  can  span ; 
Or  in  the  small  Olympic  pit  sit  split. 
Laughing  at  Liston,  while  you  quiz  his  phiz. 

Anon  night  comes,  and  with  her  wings  brings  things 
Such  as,  with  his  poetic  tongue,  Young  sung : 
The  gas  up-blazes  with  its  bright  white  light, 
And  paralytic  watchmen  prowl,  howl,  growl. 
About  the  streets,  and  take  up  Pall-Mail  Sal, 
Who,  hastening  to  her  nightly  jobs,  robs  fobs. 

Now  thieves  to  enter  for  your  cash,  smash,  crash. 
Past  drowsy  Charley,  in  a  deep  sleep,  creep. 
But,  frightened  by  Policeman  B  3,  flee, 
And  while  they're  going,  whisper  low,  "  No  go !" 
Now  puss,  while  folks  are  in  their  beds,  treads  leads. 
And  sleepers,  waking,  grumble,  "  Drat  that  cat  "' 
Who  in  the  gutter  caterwauls,  squalls,  mauls 
Some  feline  foe,  and  screams  in  shrill  ill  will. 

Now  bulls  of  Bashan,  of  a  prize  size,  rise 

In  childish  dreams,  and  with  a  roar  gore  poor 

Georgy,  or  Charles,  or  BiUy,  willy  nilly  ; 

But  nurse-maid,  in  a  nightmare  rest,  chest-pressed, 

Dreameth  of  one  of  her  old  flames,  James  Games, 

And  that  she  hears — what  faith  is  man's  I — Ann's  banns 

And  his,  from  Reverend  Mr.  Rice,  twice,  thrice  ; 

White  ribbons  flourish,  and  a  stout  shout  out. 

That  upward  goes,  shows  Rose  knows  those  bows'  woes. 

There  is  some  originality  in  the  following  anonymous  effort : 
Bowled. 

When  I,  sir,  play  at  cricket,  sick  it  makes  me  feel ; 

For  I  the  wicket  kick  it  backward  with  my  heel. 

Then,  oh  !  such  rollers  bowlers  always  give  to  me, 

And  the  rounders,  grounders,  too,  rise  and  strike  my  knee  ; 

Then  I  in  anguish  languish,  try  to  force  a  smile. 

While  laughing  critics  round  me  sound  me  on  my  style. 

Among  other  ingenious  samples  of  eccentric  rhymes  offered  by  the  London 
Punch  as  a  relief  from  the  monotony  of  modern  poetry  is  one  that  spells  out 
the  final  word  of  a  couplet,  the  last  letter  or  last  two  letters  making  so  many 
syllables  that  rhyme  with  the  ending  word  of  the  preceding  line.     Thus : 

"  Me  drunk  !"  the  cobbler  cried,  "  the  devil  trouble  you. 

You  want  to  kick  up  a  blest  r-o-w. 

I've  just  returned  from  a  teetotal  party. 

Twelve  on  us  jammed  in  a  spring  c-a-r-t ; 

The  man  as  lectured,  now,  was  drunk  1  why,  bless  ye, 

He's  sent  home  in  a  c-h-a-i-s-e." 

Ridicul«  is  the  test  of  truth.  "We  have  oftener  than  once,"  says 
Carlyle  in  his  Essay  on  Voltaire,  "  endeavored  to  attach  some  meaning  to 
that  aphorism,  vulgarly  imputed  to  Shaftesbury,  which,  however,  we  can  find 
nowhere  in  his  works,  that  '  ridicule  is  the  test  of  truth.' "  Carlyle  was 
singularly  remiss  in  his  examination  of  Shaftesbury's  works,  as  the  idea  at 
least  and  almost  the  very  words  appear  there  no  less  than  three  times : 

How  comes  it  to  pass,  then,  that  we  appear  such  cowards  in  reasoning,  and  are  so  afraid 
to  stand  the  test  of  ridicule  t— Characteristics  :  A  Letter  concerning  Enthusiasm,  Sec.  2. 

Truth,  'tis  supposed,  may  bear  all  lights  ;  and  one  of  those  principal  lights  or  tiatural 
mediums  by  which  things  are  to  be  viewed  in  order  to  a  thorough  recognition  is  ridicule 
'ns,e\{.~Essay  on  the  Freedom  of  Wit  and  Humor,  Sec.  i. 

'Twas  the  saying  of  an  ancient  sage  (Gorgias  Leontinus,  a/a^  Aristotle's  Rhetoric,  lib. 
iii.  cap.  18),  that  humor  was  the  only  test  of  gravity,  and  gravity  of  humor.  For  a  subject 
which  would  not  bear  raillery  was  suspicious  ;  and  a  jest  which  would  not  bear  a  serious 
•xamination  was  certainly  false  yrA.—Ibid.,  Sec.  5. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  975 

^  Shaftesbury  sufficiently  explains  his  own  meaning.  But  of  course  it  only 
contains  half  a  truth.  Ridicule  is  most  effective  in  opposing  shams,  but  it 
has  often  helped  to  make  the  worse  appear  the  better  reason.  This  is  sub- 
stantially Carlyle's  contention.  Chamfort  said,  "  There  is  nothing  that  kills 
like  ridicule  ;"  and  he  was  familiar  with  the  guillotine.  Like  the  guillotine, 
however,  ridicule  overwhelms  bad  and  good  alike.  Madame  de  Stael  called 
ridicule  "  the  sword  of  Damocles,"  and  she  explained  her  meaning  to  be  that 
the  fear  of  it  tends  to  prune  away  the  little  ^oz\2\  gaucheries  of  men, — to  pre- 
vent those  violations  of  good  taste  which  are  so  common  among  sensible  but 
ill-bred  or  thoughtless  men,  and  to  check  those  insults  which  arise  from 
coarseness  of  mind,  ignorance,  and  lack  of  savoir-faire,  rather  than  from 
malignity  of  disposition. 

Right.  I  would  rather  be  right  than  be  President,  a  famous 
remark  of  Henry  Clay's,  made  to  Mr.  Preston  of  Kentucky,  who  had  warned 
him  that  his  advocacy  of  the  Compromise  measures  of  1850  would  alienate  the 
Northern  or  Anti-Slavery  Whigs  and  so  ruin  his  chances  for  the  Presidency. 

Right  is  right.     That  "  right  is  right"  is  a  cosmopolitan  proverb  of  in- 
definite age.     Poets  in  all  times  have  loved  to  assert  it  : 
For  right  is  right,  since  God  is  God, 

And  right  the  day  must  win  ; 
To  doubt  would  be  disloyalty. 
To  falter  would  be  sin. 

F.  W.  Faber  :   The  Right  must  win. 
But  'twas  a  maxim  he  had  often  tried, 
That  right  was  right,  and  there  he  would  abide. 

Crabbe  :   The  Squire  and  the  Priest. 
And,  because  right  is  right,  to  follow  right 
Were  wisdom  in  the  scorn  of  consequence. 

Tennyson:   CEttone. 
I  trust  in  Nature  for  the  stable  laws 
Of  beauty  and  utility.     Spring  shall  plant. 
And  autumn  garner,  to  the  end  of  time. 
I  trust  in  God,— the  right  shall  be  the  right 
.And  other  than  the  wrong  while  he  endures. 
I  trust  in  my  own  soul,  that  can  perceive 
The  outward  and  the  inward,— Nature's  good 
And  God's. 

Browning  :  A  Soul's  Tragedy,  Act  i. 

There  is  another  old  phrase  which  has  frequently  been  enforced  even  in 
the  actions  of  those  who  feign  to  abhor  it, — "  Might  makes  right."  Words- 
worth has  poetically  glossed  it  thus  : 

The  good  old  rule 
Sufficeth  them, — the  simple  plan. 
That  they  should  take  who  have  the  power. 
And  they  should  keep  who  can. 

Rob  Roy's  Grave. 

Bismarck  is  unjustly  accused  of  having  declared  that  "Might  is  above 
right"  ("  Macht  geht  vor  Recht").  It  was  Count  von  Schwerin  who  fastened 
the  reproach  upon  him.  On  March  13,  1863,  replying  in  4he  Lower  House  of 
the  Prussian  Diet  to  a  speech  of  Bismarck's,  Von  Schwerin  said,  "Therefore 
I  declare  here  that  the  principle  in  which  the  speech  of  the  Minister-Presi- 
dent culminates,  '  Might  is  above  right,'  is  not  one  on  which,  in  my  opinion, 
the  Prussian  dynasty  can  permanently  relv  :  it  should  rather  be  reversed, — 
Right  is  above  might."  Bismarck  denied 'that  he  had  ever  used  the  expres- 
sion, whereupon  Von  Schwerin  replied  that  he  had  not  charged  him  with 
using  those  very  words,  but  that  his  speech  culminated  in  such  a  principle. 
In  this  connection  Abrahana  Lincoln's  words  are  worth  quoting : 


976  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Let  us  have  faith  that  right  makes  might ;  and  in  that  faith  let  us  dare  to  do  our  duty  as 
we  understand  it. — Address  at  New  York  City,  February  21,  1859. 

When  all  has  been  said,  however,  there  is  no  doubt  that  the  right  of  might 
is  the  gospel  of  the  evolutionist,  who  believes  in  the  struggle  for  existence 
and  the  survival  of  the  fittest. 

Right  man  in  the  right  place.  McMaster's  "  History  of  the  People 
of  the  United  States"  (ii.  586)  seems  to  credit  this  saying  to  Thomas  Jefferson  : 
"Jefferson's  reply  was  a  discussion  of  the  tenure  of  office,  and  soon  forgotten. 
But  one  sentence  will  undoubtedly  be  remembered  till  our  republic  ceases  to 
exist.  No  duty  the  Executive  had  to  perform  was  so  trying,  he  observed,  as 
to  put  the  right  man  in  the  right  place."  Mr.  McMaster  is  using  a  dubious 
trick  he  learned  from  Macaulay, — that  of  substituting  a  paraphrase  or  an 
epigrammatic  resume  for  a  quotation.  What  Jefferson  really  said  was  as 
follows:  "Of  the  various  executive  abilities,  no  one  excited  more  anxious 
concern  than  that  of  placing  the  interests  of  our  fellow-citizens  in  the  hands 
of  honest  men,  with  understanding  sufficient  for  their  station."  {Letter  to  Elias 
Shipman,  July  12,  1801.)  Here  is  the  idea,  of  course.  The  meet  and  quota- 
ble wording  is  attributed  to  Talleyrand,  who  observed  that  "  the  art  of  put- 
ting the  right  man  in  the  right  place  is  perhaps  the  first  in  the  science  of 
government,  but  the  art  of  finding  a  satisfactory  position  for  the  discontented 
is  the  most  difficult."  In  English  the  phrase  seems  to  have  been  first  used 
by  Sir  Austen  Henry  Layard,  in  a  speech  in  the  House  of  Commons,  January 
15,  1855  :  "  I  have  always  believed  that  success  would  be  the  inevitable  result 
if  the  two  services,  the  army  and  the  navy,  had  fair  play,  and  if  we  sent  the 
right  man  to  fill  the  right  place." 

Sydney  Smith's  famous  illustration  is  well  worth  quoting  :  "  If  you  choose  to 
represent  the  various  parts  in  life  by  holes  upon  a  table  of  different  shapes, — 
some  circular,  some  triangular,  some  square,  some  oblong, — and  the  persons 
acting  these  parts  by  bits  of  wood  of  similar  shapes,  we  shall  generally  find 
that  the  triangular  person  has  got  into  the  square  hole,  the  oblong  into  the 
triangular,  and  a  square  person  has  squeezed  himself  into  the  round  hole. 
The  officer  and  the  office,  the  doer  and  the  thing  done,  seldom  fit  so  exactly 
that  we  can  say  they  were  almost  made  for  each  other." 

Cowper  seems  to  hold  that  the  matter  is  comfortably  arranged  by  the 
Almighty : 

Some  must  be  great.     Great  offices  will  have 

Great  talents.     And  God  gives  to  every  man 

The  virtue,  temper,  understanding,  taste. 

That  lifts  him  into  life,  and  lets  him  fall 

Just  in  the  niche  he  was  ordained  to  fill. 

The  Task,  Book  iv.,  1.  788. 

Ringing  Island,  an  old  nickname  for  England.  Fuller  in  his  "  Worthies  of 
England"  (1662)  has  the  following  explanation  :  "Thus  it  is  commonly  called 
by  Foreigners,  as  having  greater,  more,  and  more  tuneable  Bells  than  any  one 
Country  in  Christendom,  Italy  itself  not  excepted,  though  Nola  be  there,  and 
Bells  so  called  thfnce  because  first  founded  therein.  Yea,  it  seems  our  Land 
is  much  affected  wi^i  the  love  of  them,  and  loth  to  have  them  carryed  hence 
into  forreign  parts,  whereof  take  this  eminent  instance.  When  Arthur 
Bulkeley,  the  covetous  Bishop  of  Bangor,  in  the  reign  of  King  Henry  the 
Eighth  had  sacrilegiously  sold  the  five  fair  bells  of  his  Cathedral,  to  be  trans- 
ported beyond  the  seas,  and  went  down  himself  to  see  them  shipp'd,  they 
suddenly  sunk  down  with  the  vessell  in  the  Haven,  and  the  Bishop  fell  instantly 
blind,  and  so  continued  to  the  day  of  his  death." 

Rip,  Let  her.  This  Americanism,  meaning  "  All  right,"  or  "  Let  matters 
take  their  course,"  now  frequently  varied  by  the  newer  mintage  "  Let  her  go, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  977 

Gallagher,"  is  sometimes  derived  from  steamboat  insurance.  When  an 
owner  said,  "  Let  her  rip,  I'm  insured  !"  he  meant,  "  I  don't  care  whether  she 
bursts  or  not."  But  a  more  plausible  etymology  assumes  it  to  be  a  humorous 
appropriation  into  common  slang  of  the  tombstone  initials  R.  I.  P.  ("  Re- 
quiescat  in  pace,"  "  May  he  or  she  rest  in  peace").  This  conjecture  is 
strengthened  by  the  fact  that  the  Dutch  have  a  phrase  "  Hij  is  rip"  ("  He  is 
rip,"  or  "gone"),  which  is  usually  derived  from  the  same  source. 

Robinson.  Before  you  can  say  Jack  Robinson,  a  colloquial  ex- 
pression indicating  great  quickness  and  expedition.  The  Jack  Robinson  here 
alluded  to  is  said  to  have  been  Sir  Thomas  Robinson,  otherwise  known  as 
"Long  Sir  Thomas,"  and  "Jack  Robinson,"  secretary  to  George  IL  Pitt 
and  Fox  gave  him  the  last  name  on  account  of  his  servility  towards  the  king. 
In  an  anecdote  left  in  manuscript  by  Lord  Eldon  the  following  occurs  : 

"During  the  debates  on  the  India  Bill,  Sheridan,  on  one  evening  when 
Fox's  majorities  were  decreasing,  said,  '  Mr.  Speaker,  this  is  not  at  all  to  be 
wondered  at,  when  a  member  is  employed  to  corrupt  everybody  in  order  to 
obtain  votes.'  Upon  this  there  was  a  great  outcry  made  by  almost  everybody 
in  the  House.  '  Who  is  it  ?  Name  him  !  Name  him  !'  *  Sir,'  said  Sheridan 
to  the  Speaker, '  I  shall  not  name  the  person.  It  is  an  unpleasant  and  invidi- 
ous thing  to  do  so,  and  therefore  I  shall  not  name  him.  But  don't  suppose, 
sir,  that  I  abstain  because  there  is  any  difficulty  in  naming  him  :  I  could  do 
that,  sir,  as  soon  as  you  could  say  Jack  Robinson.' " 

But  was  this  the  origin  of  the  proverb,  or  a  punning  allusion  to  it  ?  Grose 
says  the  expression  originated  from  a  very  volatile  gentleman  named  Jack 
Robinson,  who  would  call  on  his  neighbors  and  be  gone  before  his  name 
could  be  announced.  But  he  gives  neither  date  nor  authority.  The  following 
lines  "from  an  old  play"  are  given  by  Halliwell  as  the  original  phrase  : 
A  warke  it  ys  as  easie  to  be  doone 
As  tys  to  saye,  Jacke  !  robys  on. 

But  what  was  the  old  play  ?  After  all,  in  the  absence  of  any  evidence  to 
the  contrary,  it  may  be  assumed  that  as  Jack  is  the  most  common  of  proper 
names,  and  Robinson  one  of  the  famous  quartette  of  Brown,  Jones,  Smith, 
and  Robinson,  the  combination  is  merely  hit  upon  as  an  instance  of  some- 
thing especially  familiar  and  therefore  easy. 

Rodomontade,— «>.,  resounding,  boastful  talk.  The  word  is  derived  from 
Rodomont,  a  hero  in  Ariosto's  "  Orlando  Furioso,"  as  well  as  in  Boiardo's 
"Orlando  Innamorato."  He  is  represented  as  an  untamed,  fierce,  and  brave 
warrior-king  of  Algiers.  The  name  of  this  prodigy  might  be  paraphrased 
to  mean  a  roller  of  mountains,  a  veritable  earth-shaker.  His  name  is  used 
ironically  in  this  extract : 

He  vapored;  but,  being  pretty  sharply  admonished,  he  quickly  became  mild  and  calm, — 
a  posture  ill  becoming  such  a  Rodomont.— Sir  T.  Herbert. 

Roe  and  Doe.  Richard  Roe  and  John  Doe,  in  the  terminology  of  the 
law,  are  the  names  of  fictitious  parties,  used  originally  in  actions  in  ejectment 
in  England,  and  then  in  this  country.  An  action  in  ejectment  is  one  to  obtain 
possession  of  land  ;  originally  a  plaintiff  who  claimed  title  had  to  proceed  in 
a  real  action,  a  complicated  and  costly  proceeding,  while  ejectment  was  avail- 
able only  for  a  lessee.  Chief-Justice  Rolle,  in  the  lime  of  Edward  III.,  de- 
vised the  "fiction"  by  which  a  person  claiming  title  could  proceed  under  an 
action  in  ejectment.  The  plaintiff  set  up  a  lease  to  John  Doe,  and  an  eject- 
ment of  John  Doe  by  Richard  Roe,  under  whom  the  defendant  held.  The 
defendant  was  allowed  to  defend  his  title  only  on  condition  that  he  admitted 
the  existence  of  the  fictitious  lease  and  ouster  :  so  the  action  came  in  as  one 
ttimm.  S2* 


978  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

in  ejectment  That  explains  the  existence,  but  not  the  names  ;  they  probably 
just  came  to  the  chief  justice  as  handy  and  suitable.  Sometimes  John  Doe 
was  called  "  Goodtitle"  and  Richard  Roe  "  Troublesome."  The  Romans  had 
fictitious  parties,  too,  whom  they  called  Titius  and  Seius. 

Rogues.  When  rogues  fall  out,  honest  men  get  their  own.  In  a 
case  before  Sir  Matthew  Hale,  the  two  litigants  unwittingly  let  out  that  at  a 
former  period  they  had  in  conjunction  leased  a  ferry,  to  the  injury  of  the  pro- 
prietor, on  which  Sir  Matthew  made  the  above  remark. 

Roland  for  an  Oliver.  Roland  and  Oliver  were  two  of  the  most  famous 
in  the  list  of  Charlemagne's  twelve  peers,  and  their  exploits  are  so  similar 
that  it  is  very  difficult  to  choose  between  them.  What  Roland  did  Oliver 
did,  and  what  Oliver  did  Roland  did.  At  length  the  two  met  in  single 
combat,  and  fought  for  five  consecutive  days  on  an  island  in  the  Rhine,  but 
neither  gained  the  least  advantage  (see  in  "  La  Legende  des  Siecles,"  by 
Victor  Hugo,  the  poem  entitled  "  Le  Mariage  de  Roland"),  and  to  cap  the 
climax,  in  the  end  at  the  battle  of  Roncesvalles,  that  they  might  continue 
similar  even  in  death,  Roland  was  accidentally  but  fatally  wounded  by  his 
friend  Oliver,  who  had  himself  received  a  death-blow,  and  was  blinded  by  his 
own  blood.  (PuLCi.)  Altogether,  their  doings  "are  recorded  so  ridiculously 
and  extravagantly  by  the  old  romancers  that  from  thence  arose  that  saying 
amongst  our  plain  and  sensible  ancestors  of  giving  one  'a  Roland  for  an 
Oliver,'  to  signify  the  matching  of  one  incredible  lie  with  another."  (War- 
burton.) 

The  etymologies  connecting  the  proverb  with  Charles  II.,  General  Monk, 
and  Oliver  Cromwell  are  wholly  unworthy  of  credit,  for  even  Shakespeare 
alludes  to  it :  "England  all  Olivers  and  Rolands  bred"  {Henry  IV.,  Pari  I., 
Act  i.,  Sa  2),  and  Edward  Hall,  the  historian,  a  century  before  Shakespeare, 
writes, — 

But  to  have  a  Roland  to  resist  an  Oliver,  he  sent  solempne  ambassadors  to  the  kyng  of 
Englande  [Henrj'  VI],  oflferj-ng  hym  hys  doughter  in  mariage. 

Rolling  stone  gathers  no  moss.  This  proverb  appears  common  to  so 
many  Aryan  peoples  that  we  are  led  to  the  supposition  that  it  had  its  origin 
in  remote  antiquity,  ere  the  race  was  split  up  into  so  many  distinct  national- 
ities. Kelly  quotes  it  in  his  "  Proverbs  of  All  Nations"  as  an  exact  rendering 
of  the  Greek  AidoQ  Kvlivdofievoc  to  (pi'Kog  oh  noiel.  In  Latin  it  appears  in  two 
forms.  One  of  these,  "  Saxum  volutum  non  obducitur  musco,"  is  included 
in  the  "  Sententiae"  of  Publius  Syrus  (No.  524),  published  by  Erasmus,  and 
therefore  is  at  least  nineteen  centuries  old.  The  other  form  is  rhymed, — 
Non  fit  hirsutus  hinc  atque  inde  volutus, — 

and  would  indicate  a  later,  probably  a  mediaeval,  origin.  Some  have  fanci- 
fully associated  the  stone  with  the  stone  of  Sisyphus.  John  G.  Saxe,  in  one 
of  his  humorous  efi"usions,  has, — 

Like  Sisyphus,  condemned  to  toss 

The  '  Rolling  Stone'  that  gathers  no  moss. 

The  suggestion  is  in  this  case,  however,  merely  a  bit  of  gentle  waggery. 
The  Germans  have  the  proverb  under  the  form  "  Walzender  Stein  wird 

nicht  moosig." 

The  Dutch  have  it,  "  Een  rollende  steen  neemt  geen  mos  mede." 
The  Danes,  "  Den  steen  der  ofte  flyttes  bliver  ikke  mossgroet." 
The  French,  "  Pierre  qui  roule  n'amasse  point  de  mousse." 
The  lulians,  "  Pietra  mossa  non  fa  muschio." 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  979 

The  Spaniards,  "  Piedra  movediza  nunca  moho  la  cubija." 

The  Portuguese,  "  Pedra  movedi9a  nao  cria  bolor." 

The  Arabians,  "  The  cat  that  is  always  mewing  catches  no  mice,"  which 
is  very  similar  to  the  American  "The  still  hog  gets  the  swill." 

In  England  we  find  record  of  it  from  the  first  dawn  of  her  literature.  In 
"  Piers  Plowman's  Vision"  (1326)  it  occurs  under  the  form  "  Selden  moseth  the 
marble-stone  that  men  often  treden."  We  find  it  also  in  Heywood's  "  Prov- 
erbs" (1546),  in  an  article  on  "  Proverbs  in  Court  and  Country"  (1618),  in 
Camden's  "  Remains,"  in  Tusser's  "  Five  Hundred  Points  of  Good  Hus- 
bandry," in  Gosson's  "  Ephemerides  of  Phialo,"  in  Marston's  "  The  Fawn," 
and  so  on  down  to  our  own  day. 

Quintilian  is  quoted  as  the  father  of  the  kindred  Latin  proverb,  "  Planta 
qu£e  ssepius  transfertur  non  coalescit"  ("A  plant  often  removed  cannot  thrive"). 
From  this  the  Italians  have  "  Albero  spesso  traspiantato  mai  di  frutti  e  cari- 
cato"  ("  A  tree  often  transplanted  is  never  loaded  with  fruit"). 

The  symbolical  appropriateness  of  the  proverb,  not  less  than  its  often- 
illustrated  essential  truth,  has  made  it  one  of  the  dozen  most  widely  spread 
saws  in  the  world. 

Roman  hand.  When  a  writer's  identity  is  betrayed  by  his  style,  it  is 
sometimes  said  that  one  can  recognize  the  fine  Roman  hand.  The  original 
reference,  however,  was  not  to  style,  but  to  penmanship.  Thus,  in  "Twelfth 
Night,"  Act  iii.,  Sc.  4,  "  It  did  come  to  his  hands,  and  commands  shall  be  exe- 
cuted. I  think  we  do  know  the  sweet  Roman  hand."  In  Shakespeare's  time 
the  Roman  or  Italian  hand  was  superseding  the  old  English  way  of  writing. 

"  A  lady  of  title,  who  died  at  an  advanced  age  nearly  twenty  years  ago,  wrote 
this  delicate  Italian  hand.  Each  letter  was  well  rounded  in  its  'pot-hooks,' 
with  no  angularities,  and  was  so  clearly  formed  that  Lord  Palmerston  himself 
could  not  have  found  fault  with  it.  The  letters  were  all  kept  to  the  same 
height  and  in  perfectly  straight  lines,  and  advancing  years  betrayed  no  falling 
off  in  the  copperplate  beauty  of  the  penmanship.  I  showed  a  letter  of  this 
lady's  to  a  friend  who  was  skilled  in  calligraphy,  and  he  said  that  this  style 
was  known  as  '  the  Italian  engrossing  hand.' "  (Cuthbert  Bede,  in  Notes 
and  Queries,  fifth  series,  xi.  438,  May  31,  1879.) 

Rome.  "When  in  Rome,  do  as  the  Romans  do.  This  proverb  arose  in 
the  following  manner.  St.  Augustine  was  in  the  habit  of  dining  on  Saturday 
as  on  Sunday  ;  but,  being  puzzled  with  the  different  practices  then  prevailing 
(for  they  had  begun  to  fast  at  Rome  on  Saturday),  he  consulted  St.  Ambrose 
on  the  subject.  Now,  at  Milan  they  did  not  fast  on  Saturday ;  and  the 
answer  of  the  Milan  saint  was,  "  When  I  am  here  I  do  not  fast  on  Saturday ; 
when  at  Rome  I  do  fast  on  Saturday"  ("Quando  hie  sum,  non  jejune 
Sabbato;  quando  Romae  sum,  jejuno  Sabbato").  (St.  Augustine,  Ep. 
XXX  VI.,  To  Casulanus.) 

In  Jeremy  Taylor's  "  Ductor  Dubitantium,"  3d  ed.,  p.  25,  we  find  the 
following  paragraph  on  a  case  of  conscience  :  "  He  that  fasted  on  Saturday  in 
Ionia  or  Smyrna  was  a  schismatick  ;  and  so  was  he  that  did  not  fast  at  Milan 
or  Rome  upon  the  same  day,  both  upon  the  same  reason : 

Cum  fueris  Romae,  Romano  yiyito  more. 
Cum  fueris  alibi,  vivito  sicut  ibi : 

because  he  was  to  conform  to  the  custom  of  Smyrna  as  well  as  that  of  Milan, 
in  the  respective  dioceses." 

Rome,  All  roads  lead  to,  an  Italian  proverb,  meaning  that  there  are 
many  ways  of  accomplishing  an  end.  It  was,  however,  in  ancient  days  not 
so  much  a  proverb  as  a  literal  truth.     As  the  city  of  Rome  gradually  ex- 


980  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

tended  her  conquests  over  the  Italian  peninsula,  each  new  city  added  to  her 
growing  empire  was  connected  with  the  capital  by  a  magnificent  military 
road,  and  Rome  ultimately  became  the  centre  of  the  finest  road  system  the 
world  has  ever  seen.  Many  of  these  roads  have  endured  and  are  in  excellent 
condition  to  this  day. 

Rome,  "We  need  no  Romulus  to  account  for, — i.e.,  we  need  no 
hypothetical  person  to  account  for  a  plain  fact.  The  etymologies  of  the  word 
Rome  form  a  case  in  point.  All  of  them  which  derive  it  from  Rhea  Sylvia, 
otherwise  Roma,  the  mother  of  Romulus  and  Remus,  or  from  Romulus,  him- 
self its  mythical  founder,  or  from  ruma  (a  "dug"),  in  allusion  to  the  fable  of 
the  wolf  suckling  the  outcast  children,  are  wholly  worthless.  Niebuhr  derives 
it  from  the  Greek  word  rhoma  ("  strength"),  a  suggestion  confirmed  by  its  older 
mysterious  name  Valentia,  from  the  Latin  valens  ("strong").  (See  Nameless 
City.) 

Roorbach.  In  American  slang,  a  canard,  a  falsehood  disseminated  through 
the  newspapers.  The  word  originated  in  1844,  during  the  Presidential  cam- 
paign which  resulted  in  Polk's  election.  In  September  of  that  year  the 
Ithaca  (New  York)  Chronicle,  a  Whig  newspaper,  received  and  published 
what  purported  to  be  an  extract  from  Baron  Roorbach's  "  Tour  through  the 
Western  and  Southern  States  in  1S36,"  containing  a  description  of  a  camp  of 
slave-drivers  on  Duck  River  in  Tennessee,  and  a  statement  that  forty-three 
of  the  unfortunate  slaves  "  had  been  purchased  of  the  Hon.  J.  K.  Polk,  the 
present  Speaker  of  the  House  of  Representatives,  the  mark  of  the  branding- 
iron,  with  the  initials  of  his  name,  on  their  shoulders,  distinguishing  them 
from  the  rest."  The  pretended  extract  was  copied  by  the  Whig  press 
throughout  the  country,  and  occasioned  great  excitement.  Uncontradicted, 
it  might  have  defeated  Polk.  Within  a  few  days,  however,  the  Democrats 
discovered  that  the  description  of  the  camp  had  been  taken  from  G.  W. 
Featherstonhaugh's  "Tour"  (1834),  that  the  statement  respecting  Polk  had 
been  interpolated,  and  that  no  such  traveller  as  Baron  Roorbach  ever  existed. 

The  author  of  the  hoax  is  said  to  have  been  a  newspaper  writer  named 
William  Linn. 

Rooster,  a  very  unwelcome  American  addition  to  the  English  language 
as  a  substitute  for  "cock,"  the  male  of  the  domestic  hen.  It  may  be  a  remi- 
niscence of  the  provincial  English  "  roost-cock  :" 

Gallus,  that  greatest  roost-cock  in  the  rout. 

The  Mouse-Trap  (1606). 

Richard  Grant  White  very  justly  objects,  "  A  rooster  is  any  animal  that 
roosts.  Almost  all  birds  are  roosters,  the  hens,  of  course,  as  well  as  the 
cocks.  What  sense  or  delicacy,  then,  is  there  in  calling  the  cock  of  the 
domestic  fowl  a  rooster,  as  many  people  do  ?  The  cock  is  no  more  a  rooster 
than  the  hen  ;  and  domestic  fowls  are  no  more  roosters  than  canary-birds  or 
peacocks.  Out  of  this  nonsense,  however,  people  must  be  laughed  rather 
than  reasoned." 

In  American  politics,  the  "campaign  rooster"  is  the  well-known  animal 
which,  through  wood-cut  illustration  in  a  newspaper,  announces  the  success  of 
its  party  at  the  polls.  It  is  said  to  have  originated  in  the  campaign  of  1841. 
One  of  the  Democratic  managers  wrote  a  letter  to  stir  up  the  politicians  to 
renewed  activity.  Among  other  things,  he  advised,  "  Tell  Chapman  to  crow." 
Chapman  was  an  Indiana  editor  known  to  be  enthusiastic  in  his  anticipations 
of  victory.  The  letter  fell  into  the  hands  of  the  Whigs,  who  printed  it,  and 
derisively  used  the  phrase  "Tell  Chapman  to  crow"  during  the  entire 
campaign.     Next  year,  however,  the  Democrats  made  some  signal  gains  ia 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  981 

Massachusetts,  and  Charles  G.  Greene,  of  the  Boston  Post,  turned  the  laugh 
upon  the  Whigs  by  getting  out  a  cartoon  of  an  immense  rooster  crowing  with 
delight  over  the  Democratic  victories. 

Rose.  When  did  the  rose  become  the  emblem  of  England  ?  Probably 
with  the  consummation  of  the  Wars  of  the  Roses.  They  were  fought  in  the 
fifteenth  century  between  the  houses  of  York  and  Lancaster.  The  former 
house  wore  as  its  badge  the  white  rose  (rose  argent),  the  latter  the  red  rose 
(rose  gules).  In  battle  every  soldier  had  his  emblem  in  his  cap.  It  is  not 
quite  certain  when  these  badges  were  adopted,  whether  in  the  early  days  of 
the  war  or  previously,  but  there  is  a  gracious  tradition  that  when  the  war  at 
last  ceased  through  the  union  of  the  two  houses  by  the  marriage  of  Henry 
VII.  of  Lancaster  to  Elizabeth  of  York,  a  rose-bush  in  a  certain  monastery  in 
Wiltshire,  which  during  the  troubles  of  the  land  had,  to  the  amazement  of 
all  beholders,  borne  at  once  roses  red  and  roses  white,  now  bloomed  forth 
with  petals  of  mingled  red  and  white.  People  came  from  far  and  wide  to  see 
the  wonder,  and  heralded  it  as  a  joyful-  omen  of  peace  and  prosperity.  To 
this  day  the  parti-colored  flower  produced  by  artificial  cross-breeding  is  called 
the  York  and  Lancaster  rose. 

The  rose  came  to  the  English  freighted  with  a  wealth  of  legendary  glory. 
It  has  long  been  looked  upon  as  the  king  of  flowers.  It  was  the  Syrian 
emblem  of  immortality,  and  perhaps  some  cognate  idea  makes  the  Chinese 
plant  it  over  graves,  as  the  Greeks  and  Romans  carved  it  on  their  tombs.  In 
ancient  Egypt  it  was  the  token  of  silence,  and  it  preserved  this  significance  in 
classic  mythology,  where  Eros  was  represented  offering  a  rose  to  the  god  of 
Silence.  Love  delights  in  secrecy  ;  stratagem,  too,  loves  secrecy.  So  we 
naturally  find  the  rose  appearing  on  Roman  shields.  In  connection  with  the 
cross  it  was  the  device  of  Luther  and  the  symbol  of  the  Rosicrucians  {Rosea 
Crux). 

The  Greeks  held  that  the  rose  derived  its  color  from  the  blood  of  Venus 
when  she  trod  on  a  thorn  of  the  white  rose  while  going  to  the  assistance  of 
the  dying  Adonis.  The  Turks  say  that  it  is  colored  with  the  blood  of 
Mohammed,  and  they  will  never  suffer  it  to  lie  on  the  ground.  Christian 
legend  ascribes  its  origin  to  a  holy  maiden  of  Bethlehem,  who,  being  unjustly 
condemned  to  death  by  fire,  prayed  to  our  Lord,  whereupon  the  fire  was 
suddenly  quenched  and  "  the  burning  brands  became  red  roseres,  and  the 
brands  that  were  not  kindled  became  white  roseres  and  full  of  roses,  and 
these  were  the  first  roseres  and  roses  both  white  and  red  that  ever  any  man 
sought."  Henceforth  the  rose  became  the  flower  of  martyrs.  It  was  a 
basketful  of  roses  that  the  martyr  St.  Dorothea  sent  to  the  notary  Theoph- 
jlus  from  the  Garden  of  Paradise,  and  roses,  says  the  romance,  sprang  up 
all  over  the  field  of  Roncesvalles,  where  Roland  and  his  peers  had  stained 
the  soil  with  their  blood. 

Rose.  I  am  not  the  rose,  but  I  have  lived  near  her  (Fr.,  "  Je  ne 
suis  pas  la  rose,  mais  j'ai  vecu  pres  d'elle"),  a  French  proverb,  indicating 
that  the  supposed  speaker  borrows  glory  or  distinction  from  his  association 
with  some  greater  person,  or  that  such  association,  in  the  words  of  Steele,  "is 
a  liberal  education."  The  following  extract  gives  the  origin  of  the  phrase 
and  indicates  its  use  :  "  Saadi,  the  Persian  poet,  shows  in  a  charming  apologue 
the  happy  influence  of  the  society  of  men  of  worth.  'I  was  taking  a  walk,' 
he  says  ;  '  I  saw  at  my  feet  a  half-dead  leaf  which  exhaled  a  grateful  fragrance. 
I  picked  it  up  and  smelled  it  delightedly.  "  You  that  exhale  so  sweet  an 
odor,"  said  I,  "are  you  the  rose?"  "  No,"  was  the  reply,  "I  am  not  the 
rose,  but  I  have  lived  some  time  with  her,  hence  comes  the  sweetness  I  pos- 
sess." ' "     (C.  H.  Schneider  :  Ecrin  Litteraire.) 


982  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Rose,  Under  the.  An  unavailing  effort  has  been  made  to  trace  the  ex- 
pression "  sub  rosa,"  or  "  under  the  rose,"  to  classical  times.  It  is  said  that 
Pausanias  bargained  to  betray  his  country  to  Xerxes  in  a  temple  of  Minerva, 
called  the  Brazen  House,  the  roof  of  which  was  a  garden  forming  a  bower  of 
roses.  But  the  story  is  apocryphal.  There  is  also  a  legend  that  Cupid  bribed 
Harpocrates  with  a  rose  to  conceal  the  amours  of  his  mother  Venus.  Har- 
pocrates  was  the  god  of  Silence,  represented  with  his  finger  on  his  lips. 
Hence  it  was  the  custom  to  sculpture  roses  on  the  ceiling  of  banquet-rooms, 
in  proof  whereof  the  following  lines  are  adduced.  They  are  said  to  have 
been  carved  on  marble  : 

Est  Rosa  flos  Veneris,  quern  quo  sua  furta  laterent 

Harpocrati,  Matris  dona,  dicavit  Amor; 

Inde  rosam  mensis  hospes  suspendit  amicis 

ConvivEe  ut  sub  ea  dicta  tacenda  sciant. 

("  The  rose  is  the  flower  of  Venus.  In  order  that  her  stolen  pleasures  might  be  concealed, 
Cupid  dedicated  to  Harpocrates  this  gift  of  his  mother ;  hence  the  host  hangs  a  rose  over  his 
friendly  table,  that  the  guests  may  know  that  what  is  said  under  it  mu  t  be  kept  silent.") 

But,  unfortunately,  the  legend,  the  sculptured  roses,  and  the  verses  them- 
selves are  all  comparatively  modern  inventions.  The  real  origin  of  the  phrase 
is  probably  Teutonic,  and  dates  back  to  an  unknown  antiquity.  The  rose 
was  the  flower  of  P'reya,  the  Northern  Venus.  It  was  sculptured  on  the  ceil- 
ings. When  wine  had  loosed  the  lips  and  light  speech  followed,  the  symbol 
would  remind  the  revellers  that  their  words  were  spoken  "under  the  rose," 
under  Freya's  protection,  and  must  be  held  sacred.  An  ancient  German 
proverb  ran,  "  Was  wir  kosen,  bleibt  unter  den  Rosen."  The  expression 
and  the  custom  spread  rapidly  over  Europe.  As  early  as  1546,  in  a  letter 
from  Dymocke  to  Vaughan,  are  these  words  :  "  And  the  sayde  questyons 
were  asked  with  lysence,  and  that  yt  shoulde  remayn  under  the  rosse,  that  is 
to  say,  to  remain  under  the  bourde  and  ne  more  to  be  rehersyd."  The  fact 
that  Dymocke  had  to  explain  his  allusion  seems  to  intimate  that  it  was  not  in 
general  use  at  the  time.  In  1587,  however,  we  find,  from  Newton's  "  Herball 
to  the  Bible,"  that  it  was  a  common  country  custom  to  hang  roses  over  festive 
boards  as  a  reminder  to  secrecy.  In  the  Latin  countries  roses  were  often 
hung  over  confessionals  in  the  early  part  of  the  sixteenth  century.  By  the 
seventeenth  century  it  had  become  a  common  custom  in  England  and  Hol- 
land, as  it  had  already  been  in  Germany,  to  paint  or  sculpture  roses  on  the 
ceilings  of  banqueting-halls. 

Rose-buds.  Gather  ye  rose-buds  while  ye  may,  a  well-known  line 
of  Herrick's: 

Gather  ye  rose-buds  while  ye  may. 

Old  Time  is  still  a-flying. 
And  this  same  flower  that  smiles  to-day 

To-morrow  will  be  dying. 

To  the  Virgins  to  make  much  0/  Time. 

But  the  doctrine  that  advises  man  or  maid  to  live  for  the  present  and  not 
for  the  future,  the  metaphor  which  makes  the  rose  the  emblem  of  the  fast- 
fleeting  spring  of  life,  as  it  is  the  sign  and  symbol  of  the  soon-fading  youth  of 
the  solar  year,  were  familiar  to  remotest  antiquity.  The  author  of  the  "  Wis- 
dom of  Solomon,"  ii.  8,  gives  as  an  example  of  the  reasoning  of  the  ungodly, 
"Come  on,  ...  let  us  crown  ourselves  with  rose-buds  before  they  be 
withered."  Ausonius,  in  one  of  his  Idyls,  following  Mimnermus, — and  who 
can  say  how  many  more  ? — bids  the  virgin  gather  roses  whilst  the  flower  is 
new  and  her  age  new  also,  mindful  that  life,  like  the  flower,  quickly  passes 
away.  Spenser,  following  an  Italian  leader,  introduces  in  his  description  of 
Acrasia's  "  Bower  of  Bliss"  this  portion  of  song : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  983 

Gather  therefore  the  rose  whilest  yet  is  prime, 
For  soone  comes  age  that  will  her  pride  deflowre ; 
Gather  the  rose  of  love  whilest  yet  is  time, 
Whilest  loving  thou  mayst  loved  be  with  equall  crime. 

The  Faerie  Queene,  Book  ii.,  Canto  xii.,  Stanza  75. 

Ronsard's  "  Lines  to  his  Mistress"  embody  the  same  thought.  Here  is  the 
last  stanza,  in  Thackeray's  translation  : 

Ah  !  dreary  thoughts  and  dreams  are  those. 

But  wherefore  yield  me  to  despair. 
While  yet  the  poet's  bosom  glows. 

While  yet  the  dame  is  peerless  fair? 
Sweet  lady  mine  !  while  yet  'tis  time. 

Requite  my  passion  and  my  truth. 
And  gather  in  their  blushing  prime 

The  roses  of  your  youth  ! 

Roses,  Scent  of  the.  The  following  is  one  of  Moore's  best-known 
couplets : 

You  may  break,  you  may  shatter  the  vase,  if  you  will, 
But  the  scent  of  the  roses  will  hang  round  it  still. 

The  idea  was  probably  taken  from  Horace,  who  appears  to  be  speaking  of 
the  odor  of  wine  which  is  retained  by  an  earthen  vessel  into  which  that  liquid 
has  been  poured,  when  he  says, — 

Quo  semel  est  imbuta  recens,  servabit  odorem 
Testa  diu. 
("  The  vase  will  long  the  scent  retain 

It  chanced,  when  newly  made,  to  gain.") 

St.  Jerome  {Epistola  ad  Lcetam)  uses  almost  the  same  words  to  illustrate 
the  importance  of  the  kind  of  instruction  given  to  a  young  girl. 

Rosy-bosomed  Hours.  This  epithet  was  first  used  in  English  verse  by 
Milton : 

Along  the  crisped  shades  and  bowers 

Revels  the  spruce  and  jocund  Spring; 
The  Graces  and  the  rosy-bosomed  Hours 

Thither  all  their  bounties  bring. 

Camus,  V.  984. 

Gray  has  borrowed  the  epithet : 

Lo,  where  the  rosy-bosomed  Hottrs, 
Fair  Venus'  train,  appear  ! 

Ode  to  Spring. 

And  in  the  above  two  lines  he  has  had  in  mind  another  Miltonic  passage : 

While  universal  Pan, 
Knit  with  the  Graces  and  the  Hours  in  dance, 
Led  on  the  eternal  Spring. 

Paradise  Lost,  Book  iv.,  1.  267. 

Thomson,  too,  has  copied  from  the  same  source  : 
Sudden  to  heaven 
Thence  weary  vision  turns,  where,  leading  soft 
The  silent  hours  of  love,  with  purest  ray 
Plainly  sweet  Venus  shines. 

Summer,  v.  1692. 

Row.  Hard  (or  Long)  row  to  hoe,  a  familiar  Americanism,  a  metaphor 
drawn  from  the  cultivation  of  corn  and  potatoes,  and  signifying  anything  that 
is  difficult  of  attainment  or  execution. 

We  give  the  critters  back,  John, 

Cos  Abram  thought  'twas  right. 
It  warn't  your  bullyin'  clack,  John, 
Provokin'  us  to  fight. 


984  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Old  Uncle  S.  sez  he,  "  I  guess 
We've  a  hard  row,"  sez  he, 
"  To  hoe  jest  now  ;  but  thet,  somehow, 
May  happen  to  J.  B. 
Ez  wal  ez  you  an'  me  !" 

Lowell  :  Jonathan  to  John. 
I  know  that  burglars  claim  they  are  pretty  poorly  paid,  because  their  work  keeps  them  up 
nights  so  much,  but  newspaper  men  have  to  work  nights  also,  and  unless  they  can  rob  a 
prosperous  burglar  once  in  a  while  they  have  a  hard  row  to  hoe. — Bill  Nye. 

Royalist.  "  I  am  a  royalist  by  trade,"  a  famous  mot  attributed  to  Joseph 
II.,  Emperor  of  Germany.  He  was  visiting  his  brother-in-law  Louis  XVI. 
in  Paris,  travelling,  as  was  his  wont,  under  the  incognito  of  Count  Falkenstein. 
At  an  evening  party  Jefferson,  the  American  minister,  was  playing  chess  with 
the  old  duchess.  "How  happens  it,  M.  le  Comte,'"  asked  the  latter,  "that 
while  we  all  feel  so  great  an  interest  in  the  cause  of  the  Americans,  you  say 
nothing  for  them?"  "  C'est  mon  metier  d'etre  royaliste,"  was  the  reply, — 
*'  most  unexpected  from  a  philosophe,"  is  Carlyle's  comment.  Joseph,  it  is 
well  known,  had  advised  against  any  French  assistance  to  the  colonies.  But 
a  very  similar  sentiment  had  some  years  previously  been  uttered  by  Fred- 
erick the  Great  to  Dr.  Franklin,  when  the  latter  sought  his  aid  in  establishing 
freedom  in  America.  "  Born  a  prince,  and  become  a  king,  I  shall  not  employ 
my  power  to  ruin  my  own  trade,"  was  Frederick's  reply.  Did  Victor  Em- 
manuel remember  these  famous  sayings  when,  on  being  asked  how  he  could 
attend  to  affairs  of  state  after  the  death  of  his  mother  and  his  brother  in  the 
same  year  (1S55),  he  replied,  "  I  am  a  king  ;  that  is  my  trade"  }  Heine's  auda- 
cious and  yet  strangely  reverent  mot  on  his  death-bed  springs  to  mind  at  once  : 
"  Dieu  me  pardonnera.  C'est  son  metier"  ("  God  will  pardon  me.  It  is  his 
trade"). 

Rubicon,  To  pass  the,  to  enter  upon  a  course  from  which  retreat  is  im- 
possible, synonymous  with  "  The  die  is  cast,"  and  these  words  in  fact  were 
used  by  Caesar  when  the  first  of  his  men  were  crossing  the  Rubicon,  a  little 
stream  which  divided  Cisalpine  Gaul  from  Italy  proper.  By  an  old  law,  no 
general  of  Rome  was  permitted  to  cross  this  stream  with  his  men  under  arms. 
Accordingly,  when  Caesar  returned  out  of  Gaul  with  his  legions  upon  hear- 
ing that  the  Senate  had  resolved  to  appoint  another  general  to  supersede 
him  in  the  command  before  his  term  had  expired,  he  made  a  halt  at  its  bank- 
side.  If  he  crossed  he  would  be  coming  into  Italy  as  an  invader,  a  public 
enemy.  "If  we  cross  that  little  bridge,"  said  he,  "there  will  be  nothing  left 
for  it  but  to  fight  it  out  with  the  Senate."  While  he  was  thus  hesitating,  a 
person  remarkable  for  his  noble  mien  and  graceful  aspect  appeared  close  at 
hand,  playing  upon  a  pipe.  When  not  only  the  shepherds,  but  a  number  of 
soldiers  also,  some  trumpeters  among  them,  flocked  from  their  posts  to  listen 
to  him,  he  suddenly  seized  a  trumpet  from  one  of  them,  ran  to  the  river  with 
it,  and,  sounding  the  advance  with  a  piercing  blast,  crossed  to  the  other  side. 
"  Let  us  go  whither  the  omens  of  the  gods  and  the  iniquity  of  our  enemies 
call  us,"  exclaimed  Cassar.  "Jacta  alea  est"  ("The  die  is  cast").  (Sue- 
tonius :  Lifo.) 

Rump  and  dozen,  a  favorite  form  of  wager  in  the  early  part  of  the  nine- 
teenth century.  It  is  usually  held  to  mean  a  rump  of  beef  cooked  as  steaks 
and  a  dozen  bottles  of  wine,  providing  entertainment  for  the  bettor,  the  bettee, 
and,  say,  two  friends.  But  some  hold  that  the  dozen  is  a  dozen  of  oysters 
in  sauce,  citing  in  corroboration  from  "Tom  and  Jerry,"  chapter  iii.,  "Jerry 
was  weighed  in  order  to  decide  a  bet  between  him  and  Logic  for  a  rump- 
steak  and  a  dozen  of  oysters."  In  1811  the  English  Court  of  Common  Pleas 
decided  that  an  action  might  be  maintained  upon  such  a  wager  (Hussey  vs. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  985 

Crickett,  3  Campbell's  Reports,  p.  16S)  ;  but  Mansfield,  C.  J.,  said,  "I  do  not 
judicially  know  the  meaning  of  a  rump  and  dozen,"  and  complained  of  the  un- 
certainty on  this  subject.  His  associate.  Heath,  J.,  on  the  contrary,  asserted, 
"  We  know  very  well  privately  that  a  'rump  and  dozen'  is  what  the  witnesses 
stated, — viz.,  a  good  dinner  and  wine,  in  which  I  can  discover  no  illegality." 

Russia  is  a  despotism  tempered  by  assassination,  an  anonymous  mot 
made  apropos  of  the  murder  of  the  Emperor  Paul  in  iSoi,  evidently  based 
upon  the  epigram  made  during  the  ancien  regime,  "  France  is  an  absolute 
monarchy  tempered  by  songs."  In  some  versions  "epigrams"  takes  the  place 
of  "songs."  (See  Ballads.)  Napoleon  was  the  author  of  two  famous  sayings 
about  Russia  :  "  Scratch  a  Russian  and  you  will  find  a  Tartar,"  and  "  In  the 
present  state  of  things  all  Europe  must  in  ten  years  become  either  Cossack 
or  republican."  The  latter  phrase  is  reported  by  Las  Cases  as  occurring  in  a 
conversation  between  him  and  Napoleon  at  St.  Helena  under  date  of  April  8, 
1816.     It  is  commonly  misquoted  "In  fifty  years." 


S,  the  nineteenth  letter  and  fifteenth  consonant  of  the  English  alphabet, 
and  the  twenty-first  letter  (or  last  but  one)  of  the  Phoenician  alphabet,  from 
which  the  English  is  ultimately  derived.  Its  name  in  Phoenician  and  Hebrew 
signified  "  tooth,"  and  the  original  hieroglyphic  symbol  represented  three  teeth. 
The  Phoenician  character  borrowed  therefrom  looks  much  like  our  w.  This 
character  was  set  up  on  end  by  the  Greeks,  and  ultimately  developed  into  the 
2.  There  is  an  old  saying  that  Xenophon  needed  a  pot-hook  in  the  retreat 
of  the  ten  thousand,  and  made  it  from  the  letter  sigma.  This  may  be  merely 
a  bit  of  rudimentary  humor,  or  may  be  a  tribute  to  the  military  and  literary 
character  of  the  great  general,  fertile  in  expedients,  and  making  letters  sub- 
servient to  war. 

Sailor  King,  a  popular  sobriquet  of  William  IV.,  King  of  Great  Britain, 
who  entered  the  royal  navy  in  1779,  when  fourteen  years  of  age.  He  rose 
gradually  by  regular  promotion  from  the  rank  of  midshipman  to  that  of 
captain.  In  1801  he  was  made  an  admiral,  and  on  retiring  from  active  service 
in  1827  was  made  lord  high  admiral  of  England. 

Salt,  Spilling.  Salt,  the  incorruptible  and  the  preserver  from  corruption, 
the  holy  substance  that  was  used  in  sacrifice,  was  from  the  earliest  times 
sacred  to  the  Penates,  or  household  gods.  To  spill  it  carelessly  was  to  invite 
their  indignation,  and  to  throw  it  over  the  left  shoulder — the  shoulder  of  evil 
omen,  that  is — of  the  person  sijilling  it,  was  to  call  away  from  the  guest 
towards  whom  the  salt  was  spilled  and  turn  upon  the  spiller  the  wrath  of 
these  deities.  The  spilling  of  the  salt  by  Judas  in  Leonardo's  picture  of  the 
Last  Supper  has  quite  another  significance,  in  all  probability,  and  was  in- 
tended by  that  great  artist  simply  to  symbolize  the  treason  of  Judas,  plotted 
and  perfected  under  the  cover  of  social  intimacy  and  affection.  But,  indeed, 
it  is  stated  on  very  good  authority  that  in  the  fresco  itself  there  is  no  salt- 
cellar overturned,  nor  is  there  any  trace  of  its  having  been  blurred  or  ob- 
literated. It  was  Rajihael  Morghen  who  in  his  engraving  made  an  un- 
warranted interpolation. 

"To  eat  a  person's  salt"  means  to  partake  of  his  hospitality. 

In  1809  he  was  sent  to  Hastings,  that  he  might  there  busy  himself  in  the  discipline, 
the  instruction,  and  all  the  minute  derails  of  a  brigade  of  infantry.  He  discharged  all  the 
duties  incident  to  his  position  with  the  most  scrupulous   exactitude.     One  of  his  friends, 

2R  83 


986  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

astonished  at  so  much  self-denial,  asked  how  he,  who  had  commanded  armies  of  two  hundred 
thousand  men  in  the  field  and  repeatedly  received  the  thanks  of  Parliament,  could  put  up 
with  the  command  of  a  brigade.  "  The  real  fact  is,"  replied  Sir  Arthur,  "  that  I  am  nim- 
muk-ivallah,  as  we  say  in  the  East,— that  I  have  eaten  the  king's  salt.  On  that  account  I 
believe  it  to  be  my  duty  to  serve  without  hesitation,  zealously  and  actively,  wherever  the 
king  and  his  government  may  find  it  convenient  to  employ  me."— Gleig  :  Li/e  of  Wellington, 
p.  702. 

Salt  River,  geographically,  is  a  tributary  of  the  Ohio,  and  its  course  is  in 
Kentucky.  The  slang  political  phrase  "rowed  up  Salt  River,"  to  express 
the  condition  of  a  defeated  candidate  for  office,  is  thus  explained  by  Bayard 
Taylor  :  "  Formerly  there  were  extensive  salt-works  on  the  river,  a  short  dis- 
tance from  its  mouth.  The  laborers  employed  in  them  were  a  set  of  athletic, 
belligerent  fellows,  who  soon  became  noted  far  and  wide  for  their  achieve- 
ments in  the  pugilistic  line.  Hence  it  became  a  common  thing  for  the  boat- 
men on  the  Ohio,  when  one  of  their  number  became  refractory,  to  say  to  him, 
'  We'll  row  you  up  Salt  River,'  when,  of  course,  the  burly  saltmen  would  have 
the  handling  of  him.  By  a  natural  figure  of  speech  the  expression  was 
applied  to  political  candidates  ;  first,  I  believe,  in  the  Presidential  campaign 
of  1840."  But  a  better  explanation  seems  to  be  that  in  the  early  days  the 
river,  being  crooked  and  difficult  of  navigation,  was  a  favorite  stronghold  for 
river  pirates,  who  preyed  on  the  commerce  of  the  Ohio  and  rowed  their 
plunder  up  Salt  River.  Hence  it  came  to  be  said  of  anything  that  was  ir- 
revocably lost,  "  It's  rowed  up  Salt  River."  A  third  derivation  makes  the 
phrase  originate  in  1832,  when  Henry  Clay,  as  candidate  for  the  Presidency, 
had  an  engagement  to  speak  in  Louisville,  Kentucky,  and  employed  a  boat- 
man to  row  him  up  the  Ohio.  The  boatman,  who  was  a  Jackson  Democrat, 
pretended  to  miss  his  way,  and  rowed  Clay  up  Salt  River  instead,  so  that  he 
did  not  reach  his  destination  until  the  day  after  the  election,  just  in  time  to 
hear  of  his  defeat. 

Salute  of  one  hundred  and  one  guns.  Opinions  differ  as  to  the  origin 
of  firing  this  number  of  guns  on  great  occasions.  Some  hold  that  it  can  be 
deduced  from  the  German  custom  of  adding  one  on  almost  every  occasion, 
•which  has  descended  into  trade  and  the  ordinary  affairs  of  life.  Others  hold 
to  the  following  historical  origin.  On  the  triumphant  return  of  Maximilian 
to  Germany  after  a  successful  campaign,  a  brilliant  reception  was  offered  to 
the  monarch  by  the  town  of  Augsburg,  and  a  hundred  rounds  of  cannon  were 
ordered  to  be  discharged  on  the  occasion.  The  officer  in  service,  fearing  lest 
he  had  neglected  the  exact  number,  caused  an  extra  round  to  be  added.  The 
town  of  Nuremberg,  which  Maximilian  next  visited,  desirous  to  prove  itself 
equally  loyal,  also  ordered  a  like  salute ;  whence,  it  is  held,  proceeds  the 
custom  that  has  descended  to  our  day. 

Same,  Another  and  the.  This  phrase  occurs  originally  in  one  of 
Horace's  odes  : 

Alme  sol,  curru  nitido  diem  qui 
Promis  et  celas,  aliusque  et  idem 
Nasceris. 
Bishop  Hall,  probably  with  Horace  in  mind,  entitled  his  romance  "Mundus 
alter  et  idem."    Then  came  Darwin  with  this  passage  in  his  "  Botanic  Garden  :" 
Till  o'er  the  wreck,  emerging  from  the  storm. 
Immortal  nature  lifts  her  changeful  form  ; 
Mounts  from  her  funeral  pyre  on  wings  of  flame, 
And  soars  and  shines,  another  and  the  same. 
Lastly,  Wordsworth  in  "  The  Excursion"  made  the  phrase  a  household  word  : 
By  happy  chance  we  saw 
A  twofold  image  :  on  a  grassy  bank 
A  snow-while  ram,  and  in  the  crystal  flood 
Another  and  the  same. 


I 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  987 

Sancta  simplicitas  ("  Holy  simplicity"),  a  phrase  first  applied  by  Rufinus 
(one  of  the  earlier  Latin  writers,  who  translated  and  continued  the  "  Ecclesi- 
astical History"  of  Eusebius)  to  the  victory  of  a  simple  confessor  of  the  faith 
over  the  great  and  hitherto  invincible  philosopher  Eusebius,  who  had  allied 
himself  with  the  Arians. 

The  expression  was  an  implied  contrast  of  the  wonderful  power  of  simple 
and  honest  conviction  to  the  mighty,  but  specious,  reasoning  of  a  learned 
metaphysician.  Arius  had  besought  Eusebius  to  help  adjust  the  difficulty  that 
had  arisen  between  him  and  his  bishop,  Alexander.  Eusebius  responded  to 
the  appeal  by  writing  two  letters,  in  which  he  affirmed  that  Arius  had  been 
misrepresented ;  and  in  this  manner  he  became  concerned  in  the  great  con- 
troversy, although  "  he  was  not,  doctrinally,  an  Arian." 

Rufinus's  exclamation,  "  Sancta  simplicitas,"  was  afterwards  used  by  the 
dying  reformer,  Huss,  as  he  watched  a  little  child  bringing  up  a  log  of  wood 
in  ignorant  imitation  of  the  servants  of  the  Council,  who  were  heaping  fagots 
about  the  stake  to  which  he  was  bound.  Robertson  gives  a  slightly  different 
version  of  the  incident :  "  It  is  said  that,  as  he  saw  an  old  woman  carry  a  fagot 
to  the  pile  which  was  to  burn  him,  he  smiled,  and  said,  '  Oh,  holy  simplicity  !' 
meaning  that  her  intention  was  good,  although  the  poor  old  creature  was 
ignorant  and  misled." 

The  application  in  this  instance  is  not  precisely  that  made  by  Rufinus,  for 
in  his  allusion  both  the  deed  and  the  intent  were  commended.  With  Huss, 
the  act  was  condemned,  only  the  animating  principle  approved. 

This  is  the  usual  acceptation  of  the  meaning  as  used  by  modern  writers. 
Thus,  Matthew  Browne,  speaking  of  Currer  Bell's  notion  of  the  Duke  of 
Wellington,  says,  "  Sancta  simplicitas  !  we  cry."  Mrs.  Gaskell  had  quoted 
Charlotte  as  having  represented  the  duke  in  the  War  Office,  "putting  on 
his  hat  at  five  minutes  to  four,  telling  the  clerks  they  might  go,  and  scat- 
tering Margess' among  them  with  a  liberal  hand,  as  he  takes  his  leave  for 
the  day." 

Sanctity,  Odor  of.  To  die  in  the  odor  of  sanctity  means  to  die  in  good 
repute.  When  the  odor  of  sanctity  is  said  to  pervade  a  thing,  it  is  meant  to 
smell  oi—i.e.,  appertain  to — the  Church.  A  sanctimonious  living  person  of  the 
type  of  Pecksniff  carries  the  odor  of  sanctity  about  with  him.  To  die  in  the 
odor  of  sanctity  was  originally  used  in  a  literal  sense.  The  bodies  of  saintly 
dead  were  believed  to  be  free  in  some  manner  from  the  corruption  of  sinful 
flesh,  and  to  have  a  savory  smell. 

Shirley  had  this  superstition  in  mind  when  he  wrote, — 
Only  the  actions  of  the  just 
Smell  sweet  and  blossom  in  the  dust. 

Contention  of  Ajax  and  Ulysses; 

and  he  also  remembered  Tate  and  Brady's  metrical  version  of  Psalm  cxxii. : 

The  sweet  remembrance  of  the  just 
Shall  flourish  when  he  sleeps  in  dust. 

Sand,  a  slang  term  for  courage,  backbone,  or  audacity.  It  is  said  to  have 
been  first  used  by  Harvard  students.  Hence  an  origin  implying  some  his- 
torical information  is  by  no  means  unlikely.  There  is  the  story  of  Junot  at 
the  siege  of  Toulon.  Napoleon,  while  constructing  a  battery,  wanted  some 
one  to  write  a  letter  for  him.  Young  Junot  stepped  forward  to  offer  his 
services.  Hardly  had  the  letter  been  finished,  when  a  cannon-ball,  striking 
near  the  volunteer  secretary,  covered  him  with  mud  and  dust. 
"  Good  !"  said  Junot :  "  we  shall  not  want  sand  this  time." 
Napoleon  was  so  much  pleased  with  this  answer  that  he  asked  Junot  what 
he  could  do  for  him. 


988  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

"  Give  me  promotion,"  was  the  answer  :  "  I  will  deserve  it." 
And  he  was  promoted,  and  soon  showed  that  he  deserved  it. 

Sands  of  time.     Longfellow's  lines  in  the  "  Psalm  of  Life," 

And  departing  leave  behind  us 
Footprints  on  the  sands  of  time, 

may  be  a  reminiscence  of  Napoleon's  phrase  in  a  letter  on  the  Poor-Laws  to 
the  Minister  of  the  Interior,  in  which  he  trusts  "that  we  may  leave  some  im- 
press of  our  lives  on  the  sands  of  time."  Napoleon  also  said,  "Better  never 
to  have  been  born  than  to  live  without  glory,"  and  "  It  would  be  better  for 
a  man  never  to  have  lived  than  not  to  leave  behind  him  traces  of  his 
existence." 

Sanclv7ich,  a  slice  of  meat  or  other  article  of  food  between  two  pieces  of 
bread.  They  are  said  to  have  been  invented  by  the  fourth  Earl  of  Sandwich 
(hence  their  name),  who  was  so  much  addicted  to  gambling  that  he  would 
rarely  quit  play  for  dinner.  It  was  after  this  nobleman  that  the  Sandwich 
Islands  were  in  1778  named  by  Captain  James  Cook. 

Sans-Culotte3  ("  without  breeches"),  a  name  of  contempt  bestowed  by 
the  party  of  the  aristocracy  in  the  beginning  of  the  French  Revolution  on 
the  "rabble." 

Sardonic  smile,  a  bitter  mocking  smile  or  laugh.  The  expression  is  as 
old  as  Homer,  by  whom  the  epithet  capdavtov  is  applied  to  a  bitter  laugh 
(Odyssey,  xx.  302).  Its  derivation  is  unsettled.  An  agreeable  little  story  is 
told  that  the  ancient  Sardinians,  like  many  other  barbarous  tribes,  used  to 
get  rid  of  their  relations  in  extreme  old  age  by  throwing  them  alive  into  deep 
pits,  a  delicate  attention  which  the  venerable  ladies  or  gentlemen  were  ex- 
pected to  greet  with  expressions  of  delight.  Hence  a  Sardinian  laugh  came 
to  mean  laughing  on  the  wrong  side  of  one's  mouth.  It  might  seem  that  our 
proverb  "grin  and  bear  it"  could  be  referred  to  the  same  origin.  But  other 
learned  authorities  hold  that  cap66vwv,  or  sardon,  was  a  plant  of  Sardinia, 
which  being  eaten  by  man  contracted  the  muscles  and  excited'  laughter  even 
to  death.  Unfortunately  for  both  these  theories.  Homer's  word  is  aapdaviov, 
not  aapiovLov,  and  there  is  no  evidence  that  Sardinia  was  known  in  the 
Homeric  age.  We  are  therefore  compelled  to  fall  back  upon  the  less  thrill- 
ing explanation  that  the  term  is  connected  with  the  verb  aaipu,  to  show  the 
teeth,  to  grin  like  a  dog. 

Sarrite  Queen,  Dido,  Queen  of  Tyre.     Sarra  is  an  ancient  name  of  the 
city  of  Tyre.     Compare  Milton,  "  Paradise  Lost,"  xi.  243  : 
Over  his  lucid  arms 
A  military  vest  of  purple  flowed, 
Livelier  than  Meliboean,  or  the  grain 
Of  Sarra,  worn  by  kings  and  heroes  old 
In  time  of  truce. 

Satanic  School,  a  name  invented  by  Southey,  and  first  used  in  the 
vituperative  preface  which  accompanied  the  publication  of  his  "Vision  of 
Judgment :" 

Immoral  writers,  .  .  .  men  of  diseased  hearts  and  depraved  imaginations,  who,  forming  a 
system  of  opinions  to  suit  their  own  unhappy  course  of  conduct,  have  rebelled  against  the 
holiest  ordinances  of  human  society,  and  hating  that  revealed  religion  which,  with  all  their 
efforts  and  bravadoes,  they  are  unable  to  entirely  disbelieve,  labor  to  make  others  as  miserable 
as  theniselves  by  infecting  them  with  a  moral  virus  which  eats  into  the  soul.  The  school 
which  they  have  set  up  may  be  properly  called  the  Satanic  School :  for  though  their  produc- 
tions breathe  the  spirit  of  Belial  in  their  lascivious  parts,  and  the  spirit  of  Moloch  in  their 
loathsome  images  of  atrocities  and  horrors,  which  they  delight  to  represent,  they  are  more 


LITER AR  Y  CURIOSITIES.  989 

particularly  characterized  by  a  Satanic  spirit  of  pride  and  audacious  impiety  which  still  betrays 
the  wretched  feelings  of  hopelessness  wherewith  it  is  allied. 

Primarily  Byron  was  levelled  at,  but  British  cant  has  included  among  the 
number  of  its  members  Rousseau,  Shelley,  and  Moore,  and  such  heteroge- 
neous elements  as  Bulwer,  Victor  Hugo,  George  Sand,  and  (the  company  is 
much  honor  to  him)  Paul  de  Kock. 

"  Werther"  and  "  Gdtz  von  Berlichingen"  .  .  .  have  produced  incalculable  effects,  which 
now  indeed,  however  some  departing  echo  of  them  may  linger  in  the  wrecks  of  our  own 
Mosstroopers  and  Satanic  Schools,  do  at  length  all  happily  lie  behind  us. — Carlyle  :  Es- 
says :  Goethe' s  IVorks. 

School-master  is  abroad,  The,  a  phrase  that  originated  with  Lord 
Brougham.  He  used  it  first  at  the  initial  meeting  of  the  London  Mechanics' 
Institution  in  1825.  Dr.  Burbeck  was  in  the  chair,  and  John  Reynolds,  a 
prosperous  and  highly-esteemed  school-master  of  Chadwell  Street,  Clerken- 
well,  acted  as  secretary.  In  the  course  of  some  complimentary  remarks,  Mr. 
Brougham,  who  was  not  then  a  lord,  said,  "  Look  out,  gentlemen,  the  school- 
master is  abroad."  He  repeated  the  saying  a  year  or  two  later  when  Parlia- 
ment was  opened  by  commission  on  January  29,  1828.  Wellington  had  just 
succeeded  Canning  in  the  premiership.  The  opposition  had  denounced  the 
choice  as  that  of  a  mere  "military  chieftain."  Brougham,  the  leader  of  the 
opposition,  snid,  "Field-Marshal  the  Duke  of  Wellington  may  take  the  army, 
he  may  take  the  navy,  he  may  take  the  great  seal,  he  may  take  the  mitre.  I 
make  him  a  present  of  them  all.  Let  him  come  on  with  his  whole  force, 
sword  in  hand,  against  the  constitution,  and  the  English  people  will  not  only 
beat  him  back,  but  laugh  at  his  assaults.  In  other  times  the  country  n-^ay 
have  heard  with  dismay  that '  the  soldier  was  abroad.'  It  is  not  so  now.  Let 
the  soldier  be  abroad  if  he  will :  he  can  do  nothing  in  this  age.  There  is  an- 
olher  personage  abroad, — a  personage  less  imposing;  in  the  eyes  of  some, 
perhaps,  insignificant.  The  school-master  is  abroad,  and  I  trust  to  him,  armed 
with  his  primer,  against  the  soldier  in  full  military  array."  The  phrase,  which 
had  fallen  almost  unnoticed  before,  was  now  caught  up  and  repeated  all  over 
the  land.  Allusions  to  it  will  be  found  scattered  thick  through  all  contem- 
porary literature.  Hood  was  especially  fond  of  turning  it  to  humorous  ac- 
count.    One  of  his  best  tales  is  entitled  "The  School-Mistress  Abroad." 

Brougham  is  thoroughly  corroborated  by  an  authority  from  the  other  side 
of  the  house.  "  It  is  well  said,"  remarked  Moltke  in  the  German  Reichstag, 
February  16,  1S74,  "that  it  is  the  school-master  that  wins  our  battles.  The 
Prussian  school-master  won  the  battle  of  Sadowa."  He  referred  probably 
to  an  article  published  in  Aiislaiid,  No.  29,  July  17,  1866,  by  Peschel,  who 
wrote,  shortly  after  the  events,  on  the  "  Lesson  of  the  Last  Campaign,"  seek- 
ing to  prove  that  "the  victory  of  the  Prussians  over  the  Austrians  was  a 
victory  of  the  Prussian  over  the  Austrian  school-master."  A  like  remark 
was  that  of  Lehnert,  Under  Secretary  of  State  in  the  Prussian  Landtag,  Janu- 
ary 25,  1868:  "It  was  admitted  on  all  sides  after  Sadowa  that  not  merely 
the  needle-gun  but  the  schools  had  won  the  battle." 

Schooner.  The  first  vessel  of  this  rig  is  said  to  have  been  built  in 
Gloucester,  Massachusetts,  about  the  year  17 13.  When  she  went  off  the 
stocks  into  the  water  a  by-stander  cried  out,  "  Oh,  how  she  scoons  !"  The 
builder  instantly  replied,  "A  schooner  let  her  be;"  and  from  that  time  ves- 
sels thus  rigged  have  gone  by  that  name.  The  word  scoon  is  popularly  used 
ill  some  parts  of  New  England  to  denote  the  act  of  making  stones  skip  along 
the  surface  of  the  water.  The  Scottish  scon  means  the  same  thing.  The 
word  appears  to  have  been  originally  written  scooner. 

Scot-free.  Scot,  or  shot,  means  the  reckoning  or  bill ;  therefore  scot-free 
83* 


99©  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

means  free  of  all  charge  :  compare  the  expression  "to  pay  one's  shot."  The 
word  comes  from  Anglo-Saxon  sceotan,  to  throw  down  in  payment ;  Old 
French  escot,  payment  of  one's  own  share  of  a  common  expense  ;  Italian 
scotto,  the  reckoning  at  an  inn  ;  Icelandic  skot,  a  contribution  ;  Low  German 
scketen,  to  cash,  sckott,  contribution  ;  compare  Gaelic  sgot,  part  or  share. 

The  expression  "  to  pay  scot  and  lot"  also  throws  some  light  on  the  word, 
meaning  to  pay  shares  in  proportion. 

Scotch  wut.  "  It  requires,"  said  Sydney  Smith,  "  a  surgical  operation  to 
get  a  joke  well  into  a  Scotch  understanding.  Their  only  idea  of  wit,  or  rather 
that  inferior  variety  of  the  electric  talent  which  prevails  occasionally  in  the 
North,  and  which,  under  the  name  of  wut,  is  so  infinitely  distressing  to 
people  of  good  taste,  is  laughing  immoderately  at  stated  intervals.  They  are 
so  imbued,  with  metaphysics  that  they  even  make  love  metaphysically.  I 
overheard  a  young  lady  of  my  acquaintance,  at  a  dance  in  Edinburgh,  exclaim 
in  a  sudden  pause  of  the  music,  '  What  you  say,  my  lord,  is  very  true  of  love 

in  the  aibstract,  but '     Here  the  fiddlers  began  fiddling  furiously,  and  the 

rest  was  lost." 

This  famous  phrase  has  always  been  a  thorn  in  the  Scotchman's  side. 
After  thinking  over  it  for  a  quarter  of  a  century,  some  representative  of  the 
race  evolved  the  retort  that  it  was  an  English  joke  which  necessitated  the 
operation,  and  the  northern  part  of  the  island  of  Great  Britain  has  not  yet 
recovered  from  the  convulsions  into  which  it  was  immediately  thrown.  Before 
Sydney  Smith,  however,  Horace  Walpole  had  said,  referring  to  the  sanie  race, 
"  The  whole  race  has  hitherto  been  void  of  wit  and  humor,  and  even  incapa- 
ble of  relishing  it."  (^Letter  to  Sir  Horace  Matm,  1778.)  Another  estimate  of 
the  Scotch  which  has  a  history  of  its  own  is  the  following  from  Chapman, 
Jonson,  and  Marston's  "  Eastward  Ho  :" 

Only  a  few  industrious  Scots,  perhaps,  who  indeed  are  dispersed  over  the  face  of  the  whole 
earth.  But  as  for  them  there  are  no  greater  friends  to  Englishmen  and  England  when  they 
are  out  on't,  in  the  world,  than  they  are.  And  for  my  own  part  I  would  a  hundred  thousand 
of  them  were  there  [Virginia] ;  for  we  are  all  one  countrymen  now,  ye  know,  and  we  should 
find  ten  times  more  comfort  of  them  there  th.-in  we  do  here. — Act  iii.,  Sc.  2. 

This  is  the  passage  that  gave  offence  to  James  I.  and  caused  the  imprison- 
ment of  the  authors.  The  leaves  containing  it  were  cancelled  and  reprinted, 
and  it  occurs  in  only  a  few  of  the  original  copies. 

Scrape  an  acquaintance.  An  anecdote  is  told  of  the  Emperor  Hadrian, 
from  which  this  phrase  may  be  derived.  As  the  emperor  was  entering  a 
bath,  he  saw  an  old  soldier  scraping  himself  with  a  tile.  Recognizing  a  former 
comrade,  and  pitying  his  condition  that  he  had  nothing  better  than  a  tile  for  a 
flesh-brush,  he  sent  him  a  sum  of  money  and  some  bathing-garments.  Next 
day,  as  Hadrian  entered  the  bath,  he  found  it  crowded  with  old  soldiers  scrap- 
ing themselves  with  tiles.  He  understood  the  intent,  and  wittily  evaded  it, 
saying,  "Scrape  yourselves,  gentlemen,  but  you  will  not  scrape  an  acquamt- 
ance  with  me."  Some  authorities  refer  it  to  the  custom  of  scraping  the  foot 
behind  in  bowing,  which  was  always  done  in  the  formal  days  of  Louis  XIV. 

Scrape,  Getting  into  a.  This  phrase  probably  comes  down  to  us  from 
the  days  when  England  was  still  full  of  forests,  and  the  deer  running  wild  in 
the  woods  cut  sharp  gullies  between  the  trees,  called  "deer-scrapes,"  w'hich 
it  was  easier  to  fall  into  than  to  climb  out  of.  Another  suggested  derivation 
takes  the  phrase  from  the  driving  of  a  ball  at  the  game  of  golf  into  a  rabbit- 
burrow  or  "scrape."  The  Rev.  H.  T.  Ellacombe,  M.A.,  in  N'otes  and  Queries, 
February  14,  1880,  says  that  in  1803  a  woman  was  killed  by  a  stag  in  Powder- 
ham  Park,  Devon.     "  It  was  said  that,  when  walking  across  the  park,  she 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  99 1 

attempted  to  cross  the  stag's  scrape^'  which  he  says  is  "  a  ring  which  stags 
make  in  the  rutting  season,  and  woe  be  to  any  who  get  within  it."  He  confirms 
his  story  by  a  copy  of  the  parish  register,  which  records  that  "  Frances 
Tucker  (killed  by  a  stag)  was  buried  December  14,  1S03." 

Scratching,  Scratcher.  These  more  vigorous  than  euphonious  names 
have  been  given  in  ttie  American  vernacular  to  a  political  act  and  its  perpe- 
trator, respectively.  In  many  of  the  States  all  public  officials  are  voted  on  a 
single  ballot,  in  others  they  are  grouped,  judicial  officers  being  voted  on  one 
ballot.  State  officers  on  another,  and  city  and  county  officers  on  still  another. 
If  it  happens,  as  it  frequently  does,  that  one  or  more  of  the  candidates  on 
the  list  is  particularly  distasteful  to  a  voter  individually  or  to  large  numbers 
of  voters,  he  or  they  scratch — i.e.,  erase — the  obnoxious  candidate's  name  from 
their  ballot  before  voting  it,  and  thus  become  scratchers.  They  may  even 
resort  to  the  use  of  the  paster  (see  Pasters),  thereby  doubling  the  effective- 
ness of  the  act  by  both  deducting  one  vote  from  the  candidate  scratched  and 
at  the  same  time  adding  one  to  his  opponent.  Ballots  which  have  been 
amended  by  scratching,  pasting,  or  otherwise  are  called  "split  tickets,"  in 
contradistinction  to  the  "straight"  or  "regular"  ticket  containing  the  names 
of  the  candidates  as  nominated  by  the  party. 

Scylla  and  Charybdis.  The  familiar  phrase  "  To  shun  Charybdis  and 
strike  upon  Scylla"  is  usually  referred  to  the  ancients,  if  not  to  Homer  him- 
self. But,  though  the  allusion  is  to  the  Homeric  fable  of  Scylla  and  Charybdis, 
— the  one  a  rock,  the  other  a  whirlpool,  in  the  Straits  of  Messina,  Sicily,  each 
with  an  eponymous  monster  who  sought  to  lure  sailors  to  their  destruction, — 
the  phrase  itself  occurs  for  the  first  time  in  literature  in  the  "  Alexandriad" 
of  Philip  Gaultier,  a  mediaeval  Latin  poet.  He  is  apostrophizing  Darius 
when  flying  before  Alexander  : 

Nescis,  heu  !  perdite,  nescis 
Quern  fugias  :  hostes  incurris  duni  fugis  hostera  ; 
Incidis  in  Scyllam  cupiens  vitare  Charybdim. 

("  Thou  knowest  not,  O  lost  one,  whereto  thou  fliest !  Thou  wilt  run  into  an  enemy  while 
fleeing  from  an  enemy.     Thou  wilt  fall  upon  Scylla  in  seeking  to  shun  Charybdis.") 

Many  other  proverbs  embody  this  idea  of  escaping  from  one  danger  to  fall 
into  another  as  great  or  greater  :  "Out  of  the  frying-pan  into  the  fire,"  "As 
good  eat  the  devil  as  the  broth  he  is  boiled  in"  (both  English),  "To  come  out 
of  the  rain  under  the  spout"  (German),  "  Flying  from  the  bull,  I  fell  into  the 
river,"  "To  break  the  constable's  head  and  take  refuge  with  the  sheriff" 
(both  Spanish),  etc.  In  the  form  "  Between  Scylla  and  Charybdis"  the  saw 
is  identical  in  meaning  with  "  Between  the  devil  and  the  deep  sea"  (see  Devil 

AND   THE   DEEP   SEA,  BETWEEN    THE). 

Thus,  when  I  shun  Scylla,  your  father,  I  fall  into  Charybdis,  your  mo\>x&x.— Merchant  of 
Venice,  Act  iii..  So.  s- 

Se  non  e  vero,  h  ben  trovato  ("  If  it  is  not  true,  it  is  a  happy  inven- 
tion"), an  Italian  proverb  of  unknown  origin,  but  evidently  a  common  saying  in 
the  sixteenth  century.  It  occurs  in  the  Italian  translation  of  "  Don  Quixote," 
but  before  that  it  is  quoted  in  Pasquier's  "  Recherches"  (1600),— "Si  cela 
n'est  vray,  il  est  bien  trouve," — with  an  acknowledgment  of  its  Italian  source. 

See  and  be  seen.  Ovid,  in  his  "  Art  of  Love,"  i.  99,  has  the  phrase 
•'Spectatum  veniunt,  veniunt  spectentur  ut  ipsae"  ("They  come  to  see; 
they  come  that  they  themselves  may  be  seen").  Chaucer  Englishes  Ovid 
thus: 

And  for  to  see  and  eke  for  to  be  seie. 

The  Wife  of  Bath's  Prole£ue. 


992  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Both  Ben  Joiisoii  in  his  "Epithalamion"  and  Goldsmith  in  his  "Citizen  of 
the  World"  have  the  modern  phrase  "To  see  and  to  be  seen,"  which  is  now 
a  commonplace. 

Self-appreciation.  "  I  am  not,"  says  Mr.  Lowell,  in  his  excellent  essay 
"On  a  Certain  Condescension  in  Foreigners," — "  I  am  not,  I  think,  specially 
thin-skinned  as  to  other  people's  opinions  of  my.self,  having,  as  I  conceive, 
later  and  fuller  intelligence  on  that  point  than  anybody  else  can  give  me. 
Life  is  continually  weighing  us  in  very  sensitive  scales,  and  telling  every  one 
of  us  precisely  what  his  real  weight  is,  to  the  last  grain  of  dust.  Whoever  at 
fifty  does  not  rate  himself  quite  as  low  as  most  of  his  acquaintances  would  be 
likely  to  put  him,  must  be  either  a  fool  or  a  great  man  ;  and  I  humbly  dis- 
claim being  either." 

But  it  was  long  before  he  was  fifty  that  Lowell  wrote  this  skit  upon  himself 
in  the  "  Fable  for  Critics  :" 

There  is  Lowell,  who's  striving  Parnassus  to  climb 

With  a  whole  bale  of  isttts  tied  together  with  rhyme. 

He  might  get  on  alone,  spite  of  brambles  and  boulders. 

But  he  can't  with  that  bundle  he  has  on  his  shoulders. 

The  top  of  the  hill  he  will  ne'er  come  nigh  reaching 

Till  he  learns  the  distinction  'twixt  singing  and  preaching. 

His  lyre  has  some  chords  that  would  ring  pretty  well. 

But  he'd  rather  by  half  make  a  drum  of  the  shell. 

And  rattle  away  till  he's  old  as  Methusalem, 

At  the  head  of  a  march  to  the  last  New  Jerusalem. 

This  is  as  neat  a  bit  of  criticism  on  Lowell  as  could  be  expected  in  a  bro- 
chure  the  aim  of  which  was  professedly  humorous. 

Another  famous  American  author  who  has  shown  rare  powers  of  self-criti- 
cism is  NathanierHawthorne.  The  preface  to  "Twice-Told  Tales"  is  a  won- 
derful production  in  this  line,  but  is  too  well  known  to  be  quoted  here.  A 
sort  of  preface  afifixed  to  "  Rappaccini's  Daughter"  when  that  weird  story  was 
originally  published  in  the  Democratic  Review  has  been  included  in  only  a  few 
editions  of  Hawthorne's  works,  and  may  therefore  be  new  to  many  readers. 
"Rappaccini's  Daughter,"  it  was  feigned,  was  a  translation  from  a  French 
writer  named  Aubepine  (the  French  for  "  hawthorn"),  and  the  pretended 
translator  thus  introduced  his  author  to  the  American  public  : 

The  Writings  of  Aubepine. 

We  do  not  remember  to  have  seen  any  translated  specimens  of  the  productions  of  M.  de 
r Aubepine, — a  fact  the  less  to  be  wondered  at,  as  his  very  name  is  unknown  to  many  of  his 
own  countrymen  as  well  as  to  the  student  of  foreign  literature.  As  a  writer  he  seems  to  oc- 
cupy an  unfortunate  position  between  the  Transcendentalists  (who,  under  one  name  or  an- 
other, have  their  share  in  all  the  current  literature  of  the  world)  and  the  great  body  of 
pen-and-ink  men  who  address  the  intellect  and  sympathies  of  the  multitude.  If  not  too  re- 
fined, at  all  events  too  remote,  too  shadowy  and  unsubstantial  in  his  modes  of  development 
to  suit  the  tastes  of  the  latter  class,  and  yet  too  popular  to  satisfy  the  spiritual  or  metaphysical 
requisitions  of  the  former,  he  must  necessarily  find  himself  without  an  audience,  except  here 
and  there  an  individual,  or  possibly  an  isolated  clique.  His  writings,  to  do  them  justice,  are 
not  altogether  destitute  of  fancy  and  criginality  :  they  might  have  won  him  greater  repiitation 
but  for  an  inveterate  love  of  allegory,  which  is  apt  to  invest  his  plots  and  characters  with  the 
aspect  of  scenery  and  people  in  the  clouds,  and  to  steal  away  the  human  warmth  out  of  his 
conceptions.  His  fictions  are  sometimes  historical,  sometimes  of  ihe  present  day,  and  some- 
times, so  far  as  can  be  discovered,  have  little  or  no  reference  either  to  time  or  space.  In  any 
case  he  generally  contents  himself  with  a  very  slight  embroidery  of  outward  manners, — the 
faintest  possible  counterfeit  of  real  life, — and  endeavors  to  create  an  interest  by  some  less 
obvious  peculiarity  of  the  subject.  Occasionally  a  breath  of  nature,  a  rain-drop  of  pathos 
and  tenderness,  or  a  gleam  of  humor,  will  find  its  way  into  the  midst  of  his  fantastic  imagery, 
and  make  us  feel  as  if,  after  all,  we  were  yet  within  the  limits  of  our  native  earth.  We  will 
only  add  to  this  very  cursory  notice  that  RI.  de  I' Aubepine's  productions,  if  the  reader  chance 
to  take  them  in  precisely  the  proper  point  of  view,  may  amuse  a  leisure  hour  as  well  as  those 
of  a  brighter  man  ;   if  otherwise,  they  can  hardly  fail  to  look  excessively  like  nonsense. 

Many  years  afterwards,  in  a  letter  to  Mr.  Fields,  dated  from  the  Liverpool 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  993 

consulate,  April  13,  1854,  and  concerning  a  new  edition  of  the  "Mosses  from 
an  Old  Manse,"  Hawthorne  says, — 

When  I  wrote  those  dreamy  sketches,  I  little  thought  that  I  should  ever  preface  an  edition 
for  the  press  amidst  the  bustling  life  of  a  Liverpool  consulate.  Upon  my  honor,  I  am  not 
quite  sure  that  I  entirely  comprehend  my  own  meaning  in  some  of  these  blasted  allegories  ; 
but  1  remember  that  I  always  had  a  meaning,  or  at  least  thought  I  had.  I  am  a  good  deal 
changed  since  those  times,  and,  to  tell  you  the  truth,  my  past  self  is  not  very  much  to  my 
taste,  as  I  see  myself  in  this  book.  Yet  certainly  there  is  more  in  it  than  the  public  generally 
gave  me  credit  for  at  the  time  it  was  written.  But  I  don't  think  myself  worthy  of  very 
much  more  credit  than  I  got.     It  has  been  a  very  disagreeable  task  to  read  the  book. 

One  curious  misjudgment  of  Hawthorne's  was  in  placing  "The  House  of 
the  Seven  Gables"  above  "  The  Scarlet  Letter."  "  Being  better  (which  I  insist 
it  is)  than  'The  Scarlet  Letter,'  I  have  never  expected  it  to  be  so  popular." 
{^Letter  to  Fields,  May  23,  1851.)  "The  Marble  Faun"  he  called  "an  auda- 
cious attempt  to  impose  a  tissue  of  absurdities  upon  the  public  by  the  mere 
art  of  style  of  narrative  ;"  and  in  reference  to  the  same  book  he  says,  "  It  is 
odd  enough  that  my  own  individual  taste  is  for  quite  another  class  of  works 
than  those  which  I  myself  am  able  to  write.  If  I  were  to  meet  with  such 
books  as  mine,  by  another  writer,  I  don't  believe  I  should  be  able  to  get 
through  them." 

There  is  a  sturdy  and  splendid  truthfulness  in  all  Goethe's  self-criticisms: 
the  praise  is  as  genuine  and  unembarrassed  as  if  he  were  speaking  of  some- 
thing entirely  foreign.  His  "Conversations,"  as  jotted  down  byEckermann, 
are  full  of  the  most  interesting  and  instructive  criticisms  on  his  own  writings. 
Of  "  Gotz  von  Berlichingen"  he  says,  "  I  wrote  it  as  a  young  man  of  two-and- 
twenty,  and  was  astonished,  ten  years  after,  at  the  truth  of  my  delineation. 
It  is  obvious  that  I  had  not  experienced  or  seen  anything  of  the  kind,  and 
therefore  I  must  have  acquired  the  knowledge  of  various  human  conditions 
by  way  of  anticipation."  "  Werther,"  he  told  Eckermann,  "is  a  creation 
which  I,  like  the  pelican,  fed  with  the  blood  of  my  own  heart.  ...  I  have 
only  read  the  book  once  since  its  appearance,  and  have  taken  good  care  not 
to  read  it  again.  It  is  a  mass  of  Congreve  rockets.  I  am  uncomfortable  when 
I  look  at  it;  and  I  dread  lest  I  should  once  more  experience  the  peculiar 
mental  state  from  which  it  was  evolved."  To  a  young  Englishman  who  had 
read  with  great  delight  both"Tasso"  and  "  Egmont,"  but  found  "Faust" 
somewhat  difficult,  Goethe  laughingly  said,  "  I  would  not  have  advised  you 
to  undertake  'Faust.'  It  is  mad  stuff,  and  goes  quite  beyond  all  ordinary 
feeling.  But  since  you  have  done  it  of  your  own  accord,  without  asking  my 
advice,  you  will  see  how  you  will  get  through.  Faust  is  so  strange  an  indi- 
vidual that  only  few  can  sympathize  with  his  internal  condition.  Then  the 
character  of  Mephistopheles  is,  on  account  of  his  irony,  and  because  he  is  a 
living  result  of  an  extensive  acquaintance  with  the  world,  also  very  difficult. 
But  you  will  see  what  lights  open  upon  you.  'Tasso,'  on  the  other  hand,  lies 
far  nearer  the  common  feelings  of  mankind,  and  the  elaboration  of  its  form  is 
favorable  to  an  easy  comprehension  of  it." 

"Wilhelm  Meister"  Goethe  thought  was  "one  of  the  most  uncalculable 
productions.  I  myself  can  scarcely  be  said  to  hav^  the  key  to  it.  People 
seek  a  central  point,  and  that  is  hard,  and  not  even  right.  I  should  think  a 
rich,  manifold  life,  brought  close  to  our  eyes,  would  be  enough  in  itself,  with- 
out any  express  tendency,  which,  after  all,  is  only  for  the  intellect.  But  if 
anything  of  the  sort  is  insisted  upon,  it  will  be  found  perhaps  in  the  words 
which  Frederic,  at  the  end,  addresses  to  the  hero,  when  he  says,  'Thou  seemest 
to  me  like  Saul,  the  son  of  Kish,  who  went  out  to  seek  his  father's  asses,  and 
found  a  kingdom.'  Keep  only  to  this,  for  in  fact  the  whole  work  seems  to 
say  nothing  more  than  that  man,  despite  all  his  follies  and  errors,  being  led 
by  a  higher  hand,  reaches  some  happy  goal  at  last." 


994  HANDY-BOOK  OF- 

Many  of  the  poet's  contemporaries  were  wont  to  speak  of  Tieck  as  a  rival 
in  intellect.  Here  is  the  way  in  which  Goethe  disposes  of  this  comparison  : 
"Tieck  is  a  talent  of  great  importance,  and  no  one  can  be  more  sensible 
than  myself  of  his  extraordinary  merits  ;  but  when  they  raise  him  above  him- 
self and  place  him  on  a  level  with  me  they  are  in  error.  I  can  speak  this  out 
plainly :  it  matters  nothing  to  me,  for  I  did  not  make  myself.  I  might  just  as 
well  compare  myself  with  Shakespeare,  who  likewise  did  not  make  himself, 
and  who  is  nevertheless  a  being  of  a  higher  order,  to  whom  I  must  look  up 
with  reverence." 

Heine  was  another  German  who  was  gracious  enough  to  acknowledge  his 
inferiority  to  Shakespeare.  "  But  with  Byron,"  he  insisted,  "I  feel  like  an 
equal."  On  the  other  hand,  Wordsworth,  it  will  be  remembered,  said  that 
he  could  write  like  Shakespeare  if  he  had  a  mind  to, — which  brought  out  one 
of  Lamb's  most  famous  retorts  :    "  So,  you  see,  it's  the  mind  that's  wanting." 

There  was  a  stubborn  self-reliance  in  Wordsworth's  nature  which  led  him 
to  face  detraction  with  a  calm  conviction  of  its  injustice. 

In  1807  he  wrote  thus  to  Lady  Beaumont :  "  Make  yourself,  my  dear  friend, 
as  easy-hearted  as  myself  with  respect  to  these  poems.  Trouble  not  yourself 
with  their  present  reception  :  of  what  moment  is  that,  compared  with  what  I 
trust  is  their  destiny?  To  console  the  afflicted,  to  add  sunshine  to  daylight 
by  making  the  happy  happier,  to  teach  the  young  and  the  gracious  of  every 
age  to  see,  to  think,  and  feel,  and  therefore  to  become  more  actively  and 
seriously  virtuous, — this  is  their  office,  which  I  trust  they  will  faithfully  per- 
form long  after  we  (that  is,  all  that  is  mortal  of  us)  are  mouldered  in  our 
graves."  Again  he  says,  "  Be  assured  that  the  decision  of  these  persons 
\i.e.,  "the  London  wits  and  witlings"]  has  nothing  to  do  with  the  question; 
they  are  altogether  incompetent  judges.  .  .  .  My  ears  are  stone-deaf  to  this 
idle  buzz,  and  my  flesh  as  insensible  as  iron  to  these  petty  stings  ;  and  after 
what  I  have  said  I  am  sure  yours  will  be  the  same.  I  doubt  not  that  you 
will  share  with  me  an  invincible  confidence  that  my  writings  (and  among 
them  these  little  poems)  will  co-operate  with  the  benign  tendencies  in  human 
nature  and  society,  wherever  found,  and  that  they  will  in  their  degree  be 
efficacious  in  making  men  wiser,  better,  and  happier." 

Southey,  with  far  less  reason  than  Wordsworth,  had  an  equally  exalted 
opinion  of  his  own  powers,  an  equally  confident  expectation  that  posterity 
would  rank  him  among  the  great  poets  of  the  world.  "I  shall  be  read  by 
posterity,"  he  asserted,  "if  I  am  not  read  now;  read  with  Milton  and  Virgil 
and  Dante  when  poets  whose  works  are  now  selling  by  thousands  are  only 
known  through  a  biographical  dictionary."  And  again,  "  Uie  when  I  may, 
my  monument  is  made.  Senhora,  that  I  shall  one  day  have  a  monument  in 
St.  Paul's  is  more  certain  than  I  should  choose  to  say  to  every  one;  but  it 
was  a  strange  feeling  which  I  had  when  I  was  last  in  St.  Paul's  and  thought 
so.  How  think  you  I  shall  look  in  marble.?"  And  still  again,  "  One  over- 
whelming principle  has  formed  my  destiny  and  marred  all  prospects  of  rank 
and  wealth  ;  but  it  has  made  me  happy,  and  it  will  make  me  immortal." 

Poor  Southey  !  The  monument  in  St.  Paul's  he  has  indeed  obtained,  and 
he  looks  well  in  marble*.  But  his  books  are  fast  fading  out  of  the  minds  even 
of  reading  men. 

Perhaps  Porson  was  right.  When  Southey  was  once  speaking  of  himself 
in  this  same  strain  of  self-laudation,  Porson  said,  "I  will  tell  you,  sir,  what  I 
think  of  your  poetical  works  :  they  will  be  read  when  Shakespeare's  and 
Milton's  are  forgotten," — adding,  after  a  pause,  '■'but  not  till  then.'" 

L-\ndor  was  content  to  leave  his  works  to  the  judgment  of  posterity,  and 
was  sure  that  that  judgment  would  be  favorable.  "  I  shall  dine  late,"  he 
says,  "  but  the  dining-room  will  be  well  lighted,  the  guests  few  and  select" 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  995 

Milton,  from  early  youth,  was  confident  that  he  could  produce  something 
which  "  the  world  would  not  willingly  let  die."  In  the  touching  sonnet  on  the 
loss  of  his  eyes  he  rejoices  that  he 

Lost  them  overplied 
In  liberty's  defence,  my  noble  task. 
Of  which  all  Europe  rings  from  side  to  side. 

Shakespeare  writes  in  one  of  his  sonnets, — 

Not  marble  nor  the  gilded  monuments 

Of  princes  shall  outlive  this  lofty  rhyme, — 

which  seems  to  be  a  reminiscence  of  Horace's  splendid  piece  of  bragga- 
docio,— 

I  have  built  a  monument, 

A  monument  more  lasting  than  bronze, 

Soaring  more  high  than  regal  pyramids. 

Which  neither  the  roaring  rain-drops 

Nor  the  vain  rush  of  Boreas  shall  destroy. 

Many  of  the  classic  authors,  indeed,  had  an  excellent  opinion  of  themselves. 
Ovid  says, — 

And  when  I  am  dead  and  gone. 
My  corpse  laid  under  a  stone. 
My  fame  shall  yet  survive, 
And  I  shall  be  alive  ; 
In  these  my  works  forever 
My  glory  shall  persever. 

Cicero  justified  his  own  egregious  vanity  by  saying  that  "  there  was  never 
yet  a  true  poet  or  orator  that  thought  any  one  better  than  himself."  There 
is  no  more  famous  piece  of  egotism  than  his  "  O  fortunatam  natam  me 
consule  Romam,"  which  expresses  metrically  what  he  constantly  reiterated 
in  prose.  Xenophon,  speaking  of  himself  in  the  third  person  in  his  "  Ana- 
basis," says  that  he  was  "as  eminent  among  the  Greeks  for  eloquence  as 
Alexander  was  for  arms." 

Classical  scholars  seem  to  have  been  infected  with  all  the  vanity  of  classical 
authors.  Richard  Bentley  always  wrote  and  acted  as  if  he  considered  a  great 
scholar  the  greatest  of  men.  In  his  edition  of  Horace  he  describes  the  ideal 
critic,  and  evidently  sits  for  the  portrait  himself.  When  some  self-sufficient 
young  person  suggested  to  Richard  Porson  that  they  should  write  a  book 
together,  Porson  replied,  with  magnificent  scorn,  "  Put  in  it  all  I  know  and  all 
you  don't  know,  and  it  will  be  a  great  work."  This  recalls  the  anecdote  of 
an  earlier  scholar,  Salmasius,  the  great  opponent  of  Milton.  Conversing  one 
day  in  the  Royal  Library  with  Maussac  and  Gaulmin,  the  latter  said,  "  I  think 
we  three  can  tiiatch  our  heads  against  all  there  is  learned  in  Europe."  Sal- 
masius quickly  replied,  "  Add  to  all  there  is  learned  in  Europe  yourself  and 
M.  de  Maussac,  and  I  can  match  my  single  head  against  the  whole  of  you." 
If  in  scholarship  Samuel  Parr  was  not  the  equal  of  the  others,  his  vanity  was 
quite  as  remarkable.  "  Shepherd,"  he  once  said  to  one  of  his  friends,  "  the 
age  of  great  scholars  is  past.  I  am  the  only  one  now  remaining  of  that  race 
of  men." 

And  there  is  exquisite  humor  of  the  unconscious  sort  in  Parr's  reported 
saying,  "  The  first  Greek  scholar  is  Porson  ;  the  third  is  Dr.  Burney ;  modesty 
forbids  me  to  mention  who  is  the  second." 

Buffon  did  not  allow  modesty  to  forbid  his  mentioning  that  "of  great 
geniuses  of  modern  times  there  are  but  five, — Newton,  Bacon,  Leibnitz,  Mon- 
tesquieu, and  Buffon."  Nor  did  William  Cobbett  let  any  false  shame  stand 
in  the  way  of  his  telling  the  Bishop  of  Winchester,  "  I  am  your  superior.  I 
have  ten  times  your  talent,  and  a  thousand  times  your  industry  and  zeal." 

Chateaubriand  adopted  what  may  be  called  the  comparative  method  of  self- 


996  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

praise.  With  the  complacent  conceit  characteristic  of  his  countrymen,  he 
contrived  to  make  himself  out  superior  to  both  Milton  and  Byron.  "  Milton," 
wrote  he,  "served  Cromwell,  I  combated  Napoleon  ;  he  attacked  kings,  I 
defended  them  ;  he  hoped  nothing  from  their  pardon,  I  have  not  reckoned 
upon  their  gratitude.  Now  that  in  both  our  countries  monarchy  is  declining  to 
its  end,  Milton  and  I  have  no  political  questions  to  squabble  about."  Then, 
after  pointing  out  certain  coincidences  in  his  career  and  that  of  Byron,  he 
observes  that  the  only  difference  in  their  lives  was  that  Byron's  had  not  been 
mixed  up  with  such  important  events  as  his  own. 

The  vanity  of  Victor  Hugo,  though  always  Olympian,  perhaps  never 
mounted  to  a  sublimer  height  than  in  the  reply  he  sent  to  M.  Catulle  Mendes 
on  receiving  from  him  the  news  of  Gautier's  death.  It  contained  but  half  a 
dozen  lines,  yet  found  space  to  declare,  "  Of  the  men  of  1830,  I  alone  am  lefi. 
It  is  now  my  turn."  The  profound  egotism  of  "  //  ne  rcste plus  qtte  moi"  could 
not  escape  being  vigorously  lashed  by  Hugo's  old  comrades  of  the  quill,  dating 
back  with  him  to  1830,  and  now  so  loftily  ignored.  "  See,  even  in  his  epistles 
of  condolence,"  they  cried,  "the  omnipresent  moi  o(  Hugo  must  appear,  to 
overshadow  everything  else  !"  One  indignant  writer  declared  the  poet  to  be 
a  mere  walking  personal  pronoun.  Another  hunr.orously  pitied  those  still 
extant  contemporaries  of  1830  who,  after  having  for  forty  years  dedicated 
their  songs  and  romances  and  dramas  to  Hugo,  now  learned  from  the  self- 
same maw  which  had  greedily  gulped  their  praises  that  they  themselves  did 
not  exist,  never  did  exist.  One  man  of  genius  slyly  wrote,  "  Some  of  us 
veterans  will  find  ourselves  embarrassed, — Michelet,  G.  Sand,  janin,  Sandeau, 
et  un  peu  moi.  Is  it  possible  that  we  died  a  long  time  ago,  one  after  the 
other,  without  knowing  it.'  Was  it  a  delusion  on  our  part  to  fancy  ourselves 
existing,  or  was  our  existence  only  a  bad  dream  ?" 

Self-conquest.  The  thirty-second  verse  of  Proverbs,  chapter  xvi.,  runs 
as  follows  :  "  He  that  is  slow  to  anger  is  better  than  the  mighty  :  and  he  that 
ruleth  his  spirit  than  he  that  taketh  a  city."  The  phrase  has  often  been  imi- 
tated.    Thus,  Howel  in  his  "  Letters  :" 

Alexander  subdued  the  world,  Caesar  his  enemies,  Hercules  monsters,  but  he  that  over- 
comes himself  is  the  true  valiant  captain. 

Moore  says, — 

Let  conquerors  boast 
Their  fields  of  fame, — he  who  in  virtue's  arms, 
A  young  warm  spirit  against  beauty's  charms. 
Who  feels  her  brightness,  yet  defies  her  thrall. 
Is  the  best,  bravest  conqueror  of  all. 

Pope  translates  from  Homer, — 

And  bear  unmoved  the  wrongs  of  base  mankind. 
The  last  and  hardest  conquest  of  the  mind. 

Odyssey,  Book  xiii.,  1.  3S3. 

Homer  is  usually  reckoned  to  have  been  a  contemporary  of  Solomon. 
Confucius,  who  lived  five  centuries  later,  has  the  following: 

To  have  enough  empire  over  one's  self,  in  order  to  judge  of  others  by  comparison  with 
ourselves,  and  to  act  towards  them  as  we  would  wish  that  one  should  act  towards  us, — that  is 
what  we  can  call  the  doctrine  of  humanity.     There  is  nothing  beyond  it. 

This  is  an  anticipation  of  the  golden  rule  enunciated  by  Christ  another  five 
centuries  later  in  the  Sermon  on  the  Mount : 

Therefore  all  things  whatsoever  ye  would  that  men  should  do  to  you,  do  ye  even  so  to 
them  :  for  this  is  the  law  and  the  prophets.— il/a^Mfw  vii.  12. 

Self-made  man,  a  phrase  of  unknown  parentage,  meaning  a  person  who 
has  sprung  from  obscurity  to  eminence  through  his  own  efforts  and  with  no 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  997 

adventitious  aid  of  birth  or  inherited  wealth.  "  Everybody  likes  and  respects 
self-made  men,"  says  Holmes  in  "The  Autocrat  of  the  Breakfast-Table." 
"  It  is  a  great  deal  better  to  be  made  in  that  way  than  not  to  be  made  at  all. 
.  .  .  Your  self-made  man,  whittled  into  shape  with  his  own  jack-knife,  de- 
serves more  credit,  if  that  is  all,  than  the  regular  engine-turned  article,  shaped 
by  the  most  approved  pattern  and  French-polished  by  society  and  travel. 
But  as  to  saying  that  one  is  every  way  the  equal  of  the  other,  that  is  another 
matter." 

When  John  Bright  was  told  that  he  ought  to  give  Disraeli  credit  for  bemg 
a  self-made  man,  he  replied,  "And  he  worships  his  maker."  The  jest  has 
also  been  attributed  to  Horace  Greeley.     It  bears  some  analogy  to  Pope  : 

To  observations  which  ourselves  we  make 
We  grow  more  partial  for  th'  observer's  sake. 

Moral  Essays,  Ep.  I.,  1.  ii. 

Henry  Clews  bragged  in  the  presence  of  William  H.  Travers,  a  famous 
New  York  wit,  that  he  was  a  self-made  man.  "  Henry,"  was  the  retort, 
"  when  you  were  making  yourself  why  didn't  you  put  a  little  more  hair  on  the 
top  of  your  head  ?" 

Sell  for  gold  what  gold  can  never  buy.  An  apparent  bull  occurs  in 
Johnson's 

Turn  from  the  glittering  bribe  your  scornful  eye. 
Nor  sell  for  gold  what  gold  can  never  buy. 

Edgeworth  quotes  this  with  great  glee  in  his  "  Essay  on  Irish  Bulls."  He 
thinks,  and  many  agree  with  him  in  thinking,  that  if  it  could  not  be  sold  it 
could  not  be  bought.  But  C.  A.  Ward,  in  the  Belgravia  Magazine,  comes 
bravely  to  the  poet-philosopher's  rescue  : 

It  is  a  quibble  to  insist  that  what  you  sell  must  ie  buyable  ipso  facto,  though  this  is  what 
is  generally  maintained.  When  you  sell  yourself,  as  the  expression  runs,  for  gold,  it  is  in- 
tended to  represejit  that  in  doing  something  disgraceful  for  a  bribe  you  have  parted  with  your 
honor.  The  briber  did  not  want  your  honor,  nor  bid  for  it,  but  for  your  dirty  co-operation. 
You  sold  your  honor  phraseologically,  but  he  did  not  pay  you  for  it  (nothing  could) ;  there- 
fore he  did  not  buy  it.  Gold  cannot  buy  it,  and  you  can  never  buy  it  back.  Your  soul  is 
bartered  to  smutty  Pluto,  and  when  the  cash  is  gone  you  are  without  an  equivalent ;  or  if  you 
hoard  it  you  are  but  Midas,  whose  ears  grow  long  as  his  wisdom  shortens.  Edgeworth  says 
he  is  afraid  that  Johnson's  distich  is  absurd,  though  the  thought  is  of  extraordinary  fineness. 
This  is  far  nearer  to  a  bull  than  Johnson's  line  is,  for  a  line  cannot  truly  be  absurd  and  fine  at 
the  same  time.  The  same  remark  has  been  made  by  weak-kneed  critics  upon  that  noble  in- 
spiration in  Ecclesiasticus,  inculcating  "  buy  the  truth  and  sell  it  not."  Edgeworth  himself  ad- 
vances a  witty  exception,  saying  that  "  a  patriot  may  sell  his  reputation,  and  the  purchaser 
get  nothing  by  it."  Patriots  have  before  now  sold  their  country,  and,  in  the  world's  phrase- 
ology, threw  reputation  with  it.  "  Are  you  not  ashamed  of  yourself  in  the  remorse  of  having 
sold  your  country?"  was  said  to  one  of  these  gentry  about  the  time  of  the  Union.  "  Not  I," 
said  he;  "I  only  regret  I  have  no  more  countries  to  sell."  Patriotism  Johnson  defined  to 
be  "  the  last  refuge  of  a  scoundrel."  Such  patriotism  is.  But  such  a  man,  though  he  can 
sell  his  country,  cannot  sell  his  reputation  nor  his  conscience.  He  parts  with  his  reputation, 
but  it  is  not  bought ;  and  as  he  does  not  possess  a  conscience,  he  cannot  have  sold  what  he 
did  not  possess. 

Sensible  men  all  of  the  same  religion.  One  of  Disraeli's  cleverest 
epigrams  occurs  in  the  following  scrap  of  conversation  in  "  Endymion  :"  "  '  As 
for  that,'  said  Waldershare,  'sensible  men  are  all  of  the  same  religion.' 
'And  pray  what  is  that  ?' inquired  the  prince.  'Sensible  men  never  tell.'" 
Now,  this  is  not  original.  It  is  borrowed  from  the  following  anecdote,  to  be 
found  in  Burnet's  "  History  of  my  Own  Times"  (vol.  i.  p.  175,  Oxford  edition 
of  1833),  in  a  note  by  Speaker  Onslow  on  the  character  of  Sir  Anthony  Ashley 
Cooper,  who  afterwards  became  first  Earl  of  Shaftesbury :  "  A  person  came 
to  make  him  a  visit,  whilst  he  was  sitting  one  day  with  a  lady  of  his  family, 
who  retired  upon  that  to  another  part  of  the  room  with  her  work,  and  seenried 
not  to  atteud  to  the  conversation  between  the  earl  and  the  other  person,  which 
84 


998  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

turned  soon  into  some  dispute  upon  subjects  of  religion  ;  after  a  good  deal  of 
that  sort  of  talk,  the  earl  said,  at  last,  '  People  differ  in  their  discourse  and 
profession  about  these  matters,  but  men  of  sense  are  really  but  of  one  re- 
ligion.' Upon  which  says  the  lady  of  a  sudden,  *  Pray,  my  lord,  what  religion 
is  that  which  men  of  sense  agree  in  ?'  '  Madam,'  says  the  earl  immediately, 
•men  of  sense  never  tell  it.'" 

Seven  Hills,  City  of  the,  Rome,  which  according  to  the  legend  was 
built  upon  seven  knolls  on  and  near  the  banks  of  the  Tiber.  Archaeology 
has  revealed  the  fact,  however,  that  the  oldest  community  upon  this  site  was 
confined  to  a  walled  town  on  the  Palatine  Hill.  Later  the  Capitoline  was 
included,  and  not  until  Servius  TuUius,  who  built  new  and  more  extended 
walls,  were  the  five  more  outlying  elevations  included.  By  building  and 
levelling,  carried  on  during  three  millenniums,  most  of  the  original  topo- 
graphical features  have  been  obliterated. 

Seven  Senses.  There  is  a  common  locution  "  frightened  out  of  his  seven 
senses,"  or  "he  has  taken  leave  of  his  seven  senses."  At  one  time  seven 
senses  were  attributed  to  man,  instead  of  five.  According  to  Ecclesiasticus 
(xvii.  5),  they  are  seeing,  hearing,  tasting,  feeling,  smelling,  understanding, 
and  speech  :  "  The  Lord  created  man  ;  and  they  received  the  use  of  the  five 
operations  of  the  Lord,  and  in  the  sixth  place  he  imjjarted  (to)  them  under- 
standing, and  in  the  seventh  speech,  an  interpreter  of  the  cogitations  there- 
of." The  words  "seven  senses"  also  occur  in  the  poem  of  Taliesin  called 
"  Y  Bid  Mawr"  ("  The  Macrocosm"),  of  which  a  translation  may  be  found  in 
vol.  xxi.  p.  30  of  the  British  Miigazine.  The  writer  of  the  paper  in  which  it 
is  quoted  refers  also  to  the  "  Mysterium  Magnum"  of  Jacob  Behmen,  which 
teaches  "  how  the  soul  of  man,  or  his  '  inward  holy  body,'  was  compounded 
of  the  seven  properties  under  the  influence  of  the  seven  planets : 

I  will  adore  my  Father, 

My  God,  my  Supporter, 

Who  placed  throughout  my  head 

The  soul  of  my  reason. 

And  made  for  my  perception 

My  seven  faculties. 

Of  fire,  and  earth,  and  water,  and  air. 

And  mist,  and  flowers. 

And  the  southerly  wind. 

As  it  were  seven  senses  of  reason 

For  my  Father  to  impel  me  : 

With  the  first  I  shall  be  animated. 

With  the  second  I  shall  touch. 

With  the  third  I  shall  cry  out. 

With  the  fourth  I  shall  taste. 

With  the  fifth  I  shall  see. 

With  the  sixth  I  shall  hear. 

With  the  seventh  I  shall  smell." 

Sexes.  It  was  probably  Lady  Mary  Wortley  Montagu  who  first  dis- 
covered the  existence  of  a  third  sex.  "  The  world,"  she  said,  "  is  made  up  of 
men  and  women  and  Herveys."  This  was  rather  unkind,  as  the  head  of  the 
Herveys,  Lord  John  Hervey,  had  incurred  the  hatred  of  Pope  by  espousing 
the  caiise  of  her  ladyship,  upon  whom  the  bitter  little  poet  had  turned  after 
a  long  friendship.  Lord  Hervey  was  an  invalid,  who  took  ass's  milk  for  his 
health,  rouged  to  hide  his  ghastly  pallor,  dressed  elegantly,  and  wrote  pam- 
phlets whose  style  was  marred  by  persistent  antitheses.  Pope  in  his  "  Epistle 
to  Dr.  Arbuthnot"  thus  attacks  him  : 

Let  Sporus  tremble. — What  ?  that  thing  of  silk, 

Sporus,  that  mere  white  curd  of  ass's  milk? 

Satire  or  sense,  alas  !  can  Sporus  feel  ? 

Who  breaks  a  butterfly  upon  a  wheel? 


I 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  999 

Pulteney  in  his  "  Proper  Reply  to  a  late  Scurrilous  Libel"  calls  the  same 
gentleman  "a  pretty  little  master-miss,"  and  "such  a  composition  of  the  two 
sexes  that  it  is  difficult  to  distinguish  which  is  predominant."  The  pamphlet 
occasioned  a  duel  between  Pulteney  and  Lord  Hervey. 

In  America  a  current  saying  ran,  "  There  are  three  sexes, — men,  women,  and 
Beechers,"  which  is  an  obvious  plagiarism.  "  Don't  you  know,"  urged  Sydney 
Smith,  "  as  the  French  say,  there  are  three  sexes, — men,  women,  and  clergy- 
men .''" — a  saying  which  is  confirmed  by  Talleyrand.  A  friend  complained  to 
the  ex-bishop  of  some  very  sharp  words  from  Madame  de  Genlis.  "  There 
are  two  sorts  of  people,"  returned  Talleyrand,  "  from  whom  you  can  take  an 
insult  without  being  angry, — women  and  bishops."    | 

The  Saturday  Review  enlarges  on  the  idea  : 

We  gather  from  ladies— what  we  might  perhaps  gather  from  actual  experience— that 
women  regard  clergymen  as  standing  half-way  between  themselves  and  men.  They  are 
male  undoubtedly,  but  then  they  know  things  that  no  regular  men  know.  They  go  to 
blanket-meetings,  they  know  the  names  of  school-girls,  they  are  acquainted  with  the  diseases 
and  circumstances  of  poor  people.  Religious  observances  also  necessitate  occasionally  a 
sort  of  half-public  life.    There  is  excitement  in  this,  but  ii  is  a  safe  and  protected  excitement. 

Queen  Elizabeth,  rather  than  be  accounted  of  the  female  gender,  claimed  it 
as  her  prerogative  to  be  of  all  three.  A  prime  officer  with  a  White  Staff 
coming  into  her  presence,  she  willed  him  to  bestow  a  place  then  vacant  upon 
a  person  whom  she  named.  "  May  it  please  your  Highness,  madam,"  said 
the  lord,  "  the  disposal  of  that  place  pertaineth  to  me  by  virtue  of  this  White 
Staff."  "True,"  replied  the  queen;  "yet  I  never  gave  you  your  office  so 
absolutely  but  that  I  still  reserved  myself  of  the  Quorum."  "Of  the  Quariim, 
madam,"  returned  the  lord,  presuming  somewhat  too  far  upon  her  favor. 
Whereat  she  snatched  the  staff  in  some  anger  out  of  his  hand,  and  told  him 
"  he  should  acknowledge  her  of  the  Quorum,  Quarum,  Quorum,  before  he 
had  it  again."  Jokes  satirizing  manners  or  appearance  by  a  pretended  con- 
founding of  sex  are  very  common.  Thus,  Sydney  Smith  said  of  Mr.  and  Mrs. 
Grote,  "I  like  them,  I  like  them  :  I  like  him,  he  is  so  lady-like  ;  and  I  like 
her,  she's  such  a  perfect  gentleman."  "  In  this,"  remarks  Mrs.  Kemble,  who 
tells  the  story,  "  Sydney  Smith  had  been  forestalled  by  a  person  who  certainly 
n'y  entendait  pas  malice,  Mrs.  Chorley,  the  meekest  and  gentlest  of  human 
beings,  who  one  evening,  at  a  party  at  her  son's  house,  said  to  him,  pointing 
out  Mrs.  Grote,  who  was  dressed  in  white,  '  Henry,  my  dear,  who  is  the 
gentleman  in  the  white  muslin  gown  ?' " 

Shade,  Fighting  in  the.  When  one  of  the  Spartan  band  at  Thermopylae 
represented  to  Leonidas  that  the  armies  of  Xerxes  were  so  numerous  that  the 
flight  of  their  arrows  would  darken  the  sun,  Leonidas  is  said  to  have  answered, 
"  Therefore  it  will  be  pleasant  for  us  to  fight  in  the  shade."  Quite  a  different 
turn  was  given  to  the  phrase  by  Sir  W.  F.  Napier  : 

Napoleon's  troops  fought  in  bright  fields,  where  every  helmet  caught  some  gleams  of  glory ; 
but  the  British  soldier  conquered  under  the  cool  shade  of  aristocracy.  No  honors  awaited 
his  daring,  no  despatch  gave  his  name  to  the  applauses  of  his  countrymen  ;  his  life  of  danger 
and  hardship  was  uncheered  by  hope,  his  death  unnoticed.— /'^«i«i«/ar  War  (i8io),  vol.  ii., 
Book  xi.,  ch.  iii. 

Possibly  Napier  had  in  mind  the  lines  in  Tate  and  Brady's  version  of  the 
eighty-eighth  Psalm  : 

For  seas  of  trouble  me  invade  ; 

My  soul  draws  nigh  to  death's  cold  shade. 

Curiously  enough,  this  same  expression,  "  death's  cold  shade,"  is  used  by  the 
old  Friesic  poet  Japix,  in  his  version  of  the  "  Song  of  Zacharias,"  taken  from 
the  twenty-fourth  Psalm,  which  is  not  likely  ever  to  have  met  the  eye  of  the 
English  verse-wrights : 


lOOO  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Om  to  forlyeachtyen  met  siyn  schiynn 
Dy  siett'ne  droaf,  ynn  tryuest're  blin', 
Yn  dead's  kald  schaed. 
("  For  to  forlighten  with  his  sheen 

Those  sitting  sail,  in  darkest  blindness. 
In  death's  cold  shade.") 

Shadows.  "What  shado-ws  we  are,  and  w^hat  shadows  we  pur- 
sue. Burke  used  this  plirase  in  a  speech  at  Bristol  on  declining  the  poll  after 
an  unsuccessful  canvass,  September,  1780.  Alluding  to  the  death  of  one  of  the 
candidates'  Mr.  Coombe,  he  said,  "  The  worthy  gentleman  who  has  been 
snatched  from  us  at  the  moment  of  the  election,  and  in  the  middle  of  the  con- 
test, whilst  his  desires  were  as  warm  and  his  hopes  as  eager  as  ours,  has 
feelingly  told  us  what  shadows  we  are,  and  what  shadows  we  pursue."  A 
century  and  a  half  before  Burke,  Sir  Harbottle  Grimston,  in  "  Strena  Chris- 
tiana," had  said,  "  Quid  umbras,  fumos,  fungos,  sequimur."  Wordsworth 
more  recently  declared,  "  We  all  laugh  at  pursuing  a  shadow,  though  the  lives 
of  the  multitude  are  devoted  to  the  chase."  Shakespeare  has  many  passages 
analogous  to  Burke's,  especially  the  speech  put  into  the  mouth  of  Prospero : 

Our  revels  now  are  ended.     These  our  actors. 
As  I  foretold  you,  were  all  spirits,  and 
Are  melted  into  air,  into  thin  air : 
And,  like  the  baseless  fabric  of  this  vision, 
The  cloud-capped  towers,  the  gorgeous  palaces. 
The  solemn  temples,  the  great  globe  itself. 
Yea,  all  which  it  inherit,  shall  dissolve. 
And,  like  this  insubstantial  pageant  faded. 
Leave  not  a  rack  behind.     We  are  such  stuff 
As  dreams  are  made  on  ;  and  our  little  life 
Is  rounded  with  a  sleep. 

'Ihe  Tempest,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  I. 

But,  indeed,  the  thought  is  found  in  all  literature  : 

The  glories  of  our  blood  and  state 

Are  shadows,  nut  substantial  things; 
There  is  no  armor  against  fate  : 

Death  lays  his  icy  hand  on  kings. 

Shirley  :  Contention  of  Ajax  and  Ulysses. 

We  are  no  other  than  a  moving  row 

Of  Magic  Shadow-shapes  that  come  and  go 

Round  with  this  Sun-illumined  Lantern  held 
In  Midnight  by  the  Master  of  the  Show. 

Omar  KhayyAm  :  Rubaiyat,  Ixviii. 

He  Cometh  forth  like  a  flower,  and  is  cut  down  :  he  fleeth  also  as  a  shadow,  and  continueth 
not. — yob  xiv.  2. 

Our  days  on  the  earth  are  as  a  shadow. — /.  Chron.  xxix.  15. 

Man  is  like  to  vanity  :  his  days  are  as  a  shadow  that  passeth  away. — Psaltn  cxliv.  4. 

Our  time  is  a  very  shadow  that  passeth  away. —  Wisdom  0/  Solomon,  ii.  5. 

Shakes,  No  great,  an  expression  of  disapproval,  probably  originated 
from  the  current  belief  that  character  can  be  estimated  by  the  manner  in  which 
people  shake  hands.  The  following  verse,  from  Ritson's  "Miscellanies,"  may 
be  quoted  in  evidence  : 

For  the  hand  of  the  heart  is  the  index,  declaring 

If  well  or  if  ill,  how  its  master  will  stand. 
I  heed  not  the  tongue  of  its  friendship  that's  swearing ; 
I  judge  of  a  friend  by  the  shake  of  his  hand. 

Another  explanation  sees  in  the  phrase  an  allusion  to  shaking  walnut-trees 
to  dislodge  the  fruit.  Where  there  is  a  scanty  crop  of  walnuts,  there  will  be 
"  no  great  shakes." 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  looi 

Shamrock,  the  national  emblem  of  the  Irish,  said  to  have  been  adopteJ 
because  St.  Patrick  selected  it  in  order  to  explain  to  the  Irish  the  doctrine  of 
the  Trinity  or  the  three  in  one.  To  be  sure,  this  story  is  of  modern  date,  and 
not  to  be  found  in  any  of  the  lives  of  that  saint,  but  no  rude  hand  need  dis- 
turb it.  It  is  a  curious  coincidence  that  the  trefoil  in  Arabic  is  called  sham- 
rack,  and  was  held  sacred  in  Iran  as  emblematic  of  the  Persian  Triads. 
Pliny's  "Natural  History"  asserts  that  serpents  are  never  seen  upon  the 
trefoil,  and  that  it  is  a  specific  for  the  stings  of  scorpions.  Surely  no  more 
suitable  emblem  could  be  chosen  by  St.  Patrick,  who,  it  is  well  known,  drove 
all  these  reptiles  from  the  Emerald  Isle. 

What  is  the  true  shamrock?  The  wood-sorrel  (Oxalis  acetosella)  is  usually 
considered  so.  That  is  an  edible  plant  of  an  acid  flavor,  and  Fynes  Moryson 
(1598)  tells  us  that  "the  Irish  willingly  eat  the  herb  Shamrocke,  being  of  a 
sharp  taste,  which,  as  they  run  and  are  chased  to  and  fro,  they  snatch  like 
beasts  out  of  the  ditches."  But  Dr.  Prior  tells  us  that  the  plant  which  for  a 
long  time  has  been  worn  by  the  Irish  on  St.  Patrick's  Day  is  the  black  none- 
such (Medicago).  Otheis  state  that  the  clover  was  commonly  supposed  to  be 
the  shamrock,  and  that  the  Irish  themselves  of  late  years  had  the  leaves  of 
one  kind  {Trifoliiim  repens)  as  their  national  badge.  Nay,  some  authorities 
consider  that  as  water-cress  was  termed  shamrock  in  early  writers,  it  is  quite 
possible  that  that  was  the  real  plant,  the  trefoil  having  usurped  its  place  in 
order  to  meet  the  requirements  of  the  St.  Patrick  tradition.  The  plant  which 
has  figured  upon  the  coins  of  the  realm  is  a  conventional  trefoil,  and  throws 
little  light  upon  the  subject. 

Shanty,  or,  as  pedants  call  it,  chanty,  a  song  sung  by  sailors  at  their  work. 
The  music  is  to  a  certain  extent  traditional ;  the  words— which  are  commonly 
unfit  for  ears  polite— are  traditional  likewise.  The  words  and  music  are 
divided  into  two  parts, — the  "shanty"  proper,  which  is  delivered  by  a  single 
voice,  with  or  without  a  fiddle  obbligato,  and  the  refrain  and  chorus,  which  are 
sung  with  much  straining  and  tugging,  and  with  peculiar  breaks  and  strange 
and  melancholy  stresses,  by  a  number  of  men  engaged  in  the  actual  perform- 
ance of  some  piece  of  bodily  labor.  "The  manner  is  this,"  says  the  Saturday 
Review.  "  We  will  suppose,  for  instance,  that  what  is  wanted  is  an  anchor 
song.  The  fugleman  takes  his  stand,  fiddle  in  hand,  and  strikes  up  the  melody 
of  'Away  Down  Rio.'  Then,  everything  being  ready,  he  pipes  out  a  single 
line  of  the  song,  and  the  working  party,  with  a  strong  pull  at  the  capstan- 
bars,  answers  with  a  long-drawn  'Away  i:)own  Rio.'  He  sings  a  second 
verse,  and  this  is  followed  by  the  full  strength  of  the  chorus  : 

For  we're  bound  to  Rio  Grande, 

And  away  down  Rio, 

Away  down  Rio. 
Sing  fare  you  well,  my  pretty  young  gal. 
For  we're  bound  for  Rio  Grande. 

And  so  on,  through  stave  after  stave,  till  the  anchor's  weighed,  and,  the  work 
being  done,  the  need  for  song  is  gone  by." 

Shays's  Rebellion,  a  revolt  under  the  leadership  of  Daniel  Shays,  which 
broke  out  in  Massachusetts  in  1787,  in  opposition  to  the  attempted  apportion- 
ment among  the  several  States  of  the  debt  incurred  by  the  Contmental  Con- 
gress in  carrying  on  the  Revolutionary  War.  The  rebellion  was  suppressed  by 
the  militia,  and  several  of  its  leaders  were  sentenced  to  death  ;  none  of  the 
sentences  were  executed,  however,  and  eventually  all  the  condemned  were 
pardoned. 

Sheeny,  a  cant  word  for  a  Jew,  used  chiefly  by  Gentiles,  but  sometimes 
84* 


1002  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

heard  in  jest  among  Jews.  Several  derivations  have  been  suggested.  Bar- 
rere  holds  that  it  is  probably  from  schema — schema  jaudes  lischkol, — a  stupid 
fellow  who  does  not  know  enough  to  ask  or  inquire.  A  more  plausible  guess 
was  made  by  a  correspondent  of  the  New  York  Sim,  to  the  effect  that  in  the 
Middle  Ages  the  Jews  used  to  curse  their  enemies  with  the  expression  Misak 
Meschina!  ("  Mayest  thou  die  one  of  the  five  judicial  deaths!")  This  curse 
became  very  common,  and  the  English,  catching  the  terminal  sound  from  the 
people  who  used  it,  applied  it  or  its  corruption  j-//^<f;y  to  designate  that  people. 
The  Century  Dictionary  has  the  following  entry  : 

Sheeny,  «.  [Origin  obscure.]  A  sharp  fellow,  hence  a  Jew :  a  term  of  opprobrium,  also 
used  attributively.     [Slang.] 

A  Storm  of  criticism  broke  out  in  Hebrew  quarters  when  this  definition 
first  api^eared.  Objection  was  rightly  raised  to  the  word  hence.  "  A  sharp 
fellow,  hence  a  Jew,"  was  held  to  be  a  highly  uncomplimentary  phrase.  The 
American  Hebrew  and  the  Jewish  Messenger,  both  influential  denominational 
papers  published  in  New  York,  clamored  for  the  suppression  of  the  whole 
entry.  But  the  editors  of  the  Dictionary  held  that  it  was  impossible  for  them 
to  omit  any  word  in  good  standing,  even  though  in  origin  or  usage  it  implied 
a  reflection  on  certain  groups  of  people.  No  less  eminent  an  author  than 
Thackeray  speaks  of  "  Sheeny  and  Moses." 

"  Bennie  is  a  smart  boy.  The  lesson  was  bein'  read  to  him  about  Joseph  bein'  sold  by  his 
brothers  into  bondage.     Vhen  it  vas  concluded  the  master  says, — 

"  '  Vot  moral  do  ve  draw  from  this  ?' 

"  Bennie  did  not  need  to  think  for  a  minute. 

"  '  Steer  clear  of  sheenies,'  says  he,  "  if  you  don't  vant  to  get  sold." 

"  By  my  blessed  gesundt,  the  boy  is  right." — Sporting  'Junes. 

Shibboleth,  a  test-word,  a  touchstone  of  opinion,  manners,  or  education. 
The  word  is  properly  a  Hebrew  one,  meaning  an  ear  of  corn,  or  a  stream. 
When  the  men  of  Gilead  under  Jephthah  won  a  victory  over  the  Ephraimites 
(Judges  xii.  6),  Jephthah  stationed  guards  along  the  river  Jordan  to  question 
all  who  sought  to  cross  it,  and  gave  them  "  Shibboleth"  as  a  pass-word.  The 
Ephraimites  could  not  pronounce  the  sh,  and  by  saying  "  sibboleth"  betrayed 
themselves,  and  were  killed  at  the  ford.  Hence  the  modern  use  of  the  word. 
In  the  great  Danish  slaughter  on  St.  Bryce's  Day,  November  13,  1002,  a 
similar  test  is  traditionally  held  to  have  been  made  with  the  words  "Chiches- 
ter Church,"  which  being  pronounced  hard  or  soft  decided  whether  the 
speaker  were  Dane  or  Saxon.  Again,  at  the  Sicilian  Vespers  (March  30, 
1282),  when  the  Sicilians  rose  against  their  French  conquerors  and  over- 
whelmed them,  a  handful  of  dried  peas  (ciceri)  were  shown  to  a  suspect.  If 
he  pronounced  the  c  like  ch,  he  was  a  Sicilian,  and  escaped ;  if  like  s,  he  was  a 
Frenchmau,  and  was  cut  down  at  once.  A  more  modern  instance  occurred 
in  the  wars  between  the  English  and  the  Flemish.  The  words  "bread  and 
cheese"  were  frequently  used  as  a  shibboleth,  and  the  pronunciation  "  brud 
und  kaese"  was  the  signal  for  instant  death. 

A  curious  shibboleth  is  reported  from  Philadelphia.  Stephen  Girard's  will 
prohibited  clergymen  from  ever  entering  the  doors  of  Girard  College.  At  a 
visit  of  the  Knights  Templar  of  Boston  to  the  institution,  one  of  the  knights, 
a  well-known  physician,  who  wore  a  white  neck-tie,  was  passing  in.  The 
janitor  accosted  him,  saying,  "  You  can't  pass  in  here,  sir  ;  the  rule  forbids 
it."  "  The  h — 1  I  can't !"  replied  the  physician.  "  All  right,  sir,"  rejoined  the 
janitor  ;  "  pass  right  in." 

It  used  to  be  the  practice  of  police  inspectors  in  England  to  request  a  man 
charged  with  drunkenness  to  say  the  words  "  truly  rural."  If  he  could  pro- 
nounce them  correctly,  well  and  good, — he  was  not  drunk  ;  but  if,  like  the 
unfortunate  Ephraimites,  he  "  could  not  frame  to  pronounce  them  aright,"  he 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1003 

was  immediately  condemned,  and  no  amount  of  expostulation  prevented  his 
being  locked  up  for  the  night  and  making  a  compulsory  attendance  before 
the  magistrates  on  the  following  morning. 

It  seems,  however,  as  if  the  old  phrase  had  been  superseded.  Some  time 
in  1890  an  inspector,  in  giving  evidence  against  a  man  charged  with  drunken- 
ness, said  defendant  had  to  try  twice  before  he  could  say  "constitutionally," 
while  he  could  not  say  "statistically"  at  all.  These,  then,  are  the  English 
police  shibboleths  of  to-day,  the  test-words  by  the  pronunciation  of  which 
a  suspected  man's  condition  is  judged. 

In  America  we  still  cling  to  the  "  truly  rural"  test,  though  a  shibboleth 
which  once  came  near  establishing  itself  against  all  rivals  is  embodied  in  the 
phrase  popular  a  generation  ago,  "  He  can't  say  National  Intelligencer,''''  =  "  he 
is  very  drunk."  The  story  ran  that  a  father  in  Washington  had  a  dissipated 
son,  and  on  the  latter's  return  at  night  he  always  obliged  him  to  pronounce 
the  name  of  the  thoroughly  respectable  Washington  paper.  If  he  said  Nashal 
Intellencer  he  was  obliged  to  sleep  in  the  hay-loft. 

Most  of  us,  like  the  police  and  the  governors  of  dissipated  sons,  have  a 
shibboleth  by  which  we  estimate  our  fellow-men.  When  "  David  Copper- 
field"  was  first  published,  quite  a  little  storm  raged  in  some  of  the  literary 
papers  because  of  the  Heapian  dialect.  It  was  said  that  Dickens  intended  to 
make  a  shibboleth  of  the  word  "  humble,"  or,  to  put  it  in  another  way,  that 
he  wished  the  sounding  of  the  h  in  this  particular  case  to  be  a  test  of  culture. 
Those  who  sounded  it  were  educated,  those  who  left  it  unsounded  were  un- 
educated. However  this  may  be,  the  very  fact  of  the  assertion  having  been 
made  shows  that  there  is  a  wide-spread  suspicion  of  shibbolethism,  and  cer- 
tainly not  without  cause.  Dean  Alford  says,  in  one  of  his  works,  that  when- 
ever he  heard  a  man  put  the  accent  on  the  wrong  syllable  in  a  certain  Greek 
word,  that  man  sank  in  his  estimation.  This  should  not  be  so,  but  it  is.  We 
all  apply  such  trifles  as  tests,  and  judge  accordingly. 

What  may  be  called  the  practical  shibboleths  are  often  more  unjust  still. 
We  have  all  laughed  at  the  servant-girl  who  corrected  her  mistress  by  ex- 
claiming, "  Oh,  lor,  miss  !  he  hain't  a  gentleman  ;  he's  got  a  wooden  leg  !" 

The  English  Earl  of  Dudley  used  to  say  that  good  butter  was  an  unerring 
test  of  the  moral  qualities  of  your  host.  Another  distinguished  connoisseur 
contended  that  the  moral  qualities  of  your  hostess  may  in  a  like  manner  be 
tested  by  the  potatoes.  He  assured  a  Quarterly  Reviewer  that  he  was  never 
known  to  re-enter  a  house  where  a  badly-dressed  potato  had  been  seen. 
"The  importance,"  continues  the  Reviewer,  "attached  by  another  equally 
unimpeachable  authority  to  the  point  is  sufficiently  shown  by  what  took  place 
a  short  time  since  at  the  meeting  of  a  club-committee  specially  called  for  the 
selection  of  a  cook.  The  candidates  were  an  Englishman  from  the  Albion 
Club  and  a  Frenchman  recommended  by  Ude :  the  eminent  divine  to  whom 
we  allude  was  deputed  to  examine  them,  and  the  first  question  he  put  to  each 
was,  '  Can  you  boil  a  potato  V  " 

It  has  often  been  said  that  any  man  would  rather  be  accused  of  a  crime 
than  of  lacking  a  sense  of  humor.  The  accusation,  therefore,  if  ever  made 
should  be  made  advisedly.  It  is  good  to  have  a  shibboleth  by  which  the 
matter  can  be  tested, — a  touchstone  by  which  you  may  determine  whether 
you  yourself  or  your  neighbor  have  a  right  sense  of  humor.  Tom  Moore 
obligingly  supplies  one.  It  lies  in  this  story.  A  lady  having  put  to  Canning 
the  silly  question,  "  Why  have  they  made  the  spaces  in  the  iron  gate  at 
Spring  Gardens  so  narrow .!"'  he  replied,  "Oh,  madam,  because  such  very  fit 
people  used  to  go  through  them."  Now,  Tom  Moore  said  of  this  reply  that 
"the  person  who  does  not  relish  it  can  have  no  perception  of  real  wit."  And 
Tom  Moore  was  no  beef-fed  Englishman,  no  impenetrable  Scot ;  he  was  an 


I004  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Irishman,  he  belonged  to  a  nation  that  is  proverbially  full  of  wit  and  humor. 
He  knew. 

Shilling,  To  cut  off  with  a.  This  is  often  used  as  a  purely  figurative 
expression  to  indicate  disinheritance.  The  phrase  arose  from  the  vulgar 
error  (perpetuated  in  actual  wills)  that  English  law  followed  the  Roman  in 
assuming  forgetfulness  or  unsound  mind  where  a  testator  made  no  mention 
of  near  relations. 

The  civilians  carry  the  doctrine  so  far  as  to  hold  every  will  void  in  which  the  heir  was  not 
noticed,  on  the  presumption  that  his  father  must  have  forgotten  him  [Justinian  :  Institutes, 
ii.,  xviii.,  i].  From  this,  as  Blackstone  reasonably  conjectures  [Book  ii.,  ch.  yii.,  and  Book 
iii.',  ch.  i'ii.J,  has  arisen  that  groundless,  vulgar  error  of  the  necessity  of  giving  the  heir  a 
shilling,  or  some  other  nominal  sum,  to  show  that  he  was  in  the  testator's  remembrance. 
The  practice  is  to  be  deprecated,  as  it  wounds  unnecessarily  the  feelings  of  a  disinherited 
child.  This,  you  may  say,  does  not  always  happen.  An  assembled  family,  as  the  legacy  to 
each  was  read  aloud,  sobbed  and  wished  that  the  father  had  lived  to  enjoy  his  own  fortune. 
At  last  came  the  bequest  to  his  heir :  "  1  give  my  eldest  son  Tom  a  shilling  to  buy  him  a  rope 
to  hang  himself  with."  '•  God  grant,"  says  Tom,  sobbing  like  the  rest,  "  that  my  poor  father 
had  lived  to  enjoy  it  himself."— Sugden  :  Handy-Book  on  Property  Law. 

The  anecdote  is  quoted  from  Goldsmith's  "  Bee,"  No.  2.  A  famous  in- 
stance of  bad  feeling  from  the  father  towards  the  son  is  reported  in  Hume's 
"  Decisions,"  p.  881,— Ross  vs.  Ross,  decided  by  the  Court  of  Session,  March 
2,  1770, — where  the  testator  left  his  son  "one  shilling,  to  be  paid  him  yearly 
on  his  birthday,  to  remind  him  of  his  misfortune  in  coming  into  the  world." 

Shinplasters,  a  name  given  to  the  notes  of  small  denominations,  ranging 
from  three  cents  to  fifty  cents,  issued  by  private  individuals  during  the  finan- 
cial panic  which  prevailed  in  the  United  States  in  1837  and  1838.  The  term 
was  also  applied  to  the  scrip  which  circulated  among  the  people  shortly  after 
the  outbreak  of  the  civil  war.  All  the  smaller  coins  had  disappeared  from 
circulation  ;  and  resort  was  at  first  had  to  the  use  of  postage-stamps,  and 
later  to  private  notes,  representing  five,  ten,  twenty-five,  and  fifty  cents,  issued 
by  small  traders  and  others  to  facilitate  exchange  of  commodities  in  small 
purchases.  Finally  the  government  issued  small  notes  in  amounts  ranging 
from  five  to  fifty  cents.  These  were  called  "  postal  currency,"  and  were  ex- 
changeable at  post-offices  for  postage-stamps  ;  but  later  a  regular  issue  of 
so-called  "  fractional  currency,"  redeemable  in  government  notes  at  the  United 
States  Treasury,  was  authorized  by  Congress.  The  derivation  of  the  term 
shinplaster  is  not  certain.  Generally  it  is  supposed  to  be  a  reference  to  the 
utter  valuelessness  of  the  earlier  private  issues  anywhere  outside  of  the 
locality  where  the  trader  issuing  the  same  resided,  except  perhaps  as  a  plaster 
for  a  broken  shin.  This,  however,  sounds  like  an  invention  to  account  for  a 
fact.  The  government  of  St.  Domingo  issued  paper  money  for  many  years, 
which  had  so  little  purchasing  power  that  cinque  piastres  (five  dollars)  was 
of  a  ridiculously  small  value  reduced  to  a  metallic  standard,  probably  from 
ten  to  twenty-five  cents.  It  is  possible  that  shinplaster  is  a  corruption  of 
cinque  piastres. 

Ship,  Don't  give  up  the.  Few  phrases  of  an  exhortative  nature  have 
been  so  freely  used,  perhaps,  as  this  which  was  adopted  by  Commodore  Perry 
at  the  battle  of  Lake  Erie,  September  10,  1813.  The  British  had  gathered  a 
strong  squadron  on  the  lake.  Perry,  though  with  only  a  small  fleet  at  his 
command,  determined  to  attack  the  enemy.  On  the  evening  of  the  9th  he 
called  his  officers  around  him  and  announced  his  intention  of  going  into  battle 
next  morning.  Then  he  brought  out  a  square  battle-flag  which  had  been 
privately  prepared  for  him  at  Erie.  It  was  of  blue  bunting,  and  bore  in  large 
letters  made  of  white  muslin  the  words  "  Don't  give  up  the  ship."     "  When 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1005 

this  flag  shall  be  hoisted  at  the  main-yard,"  said  Perry,  "  it  shall  be  your  sig- 
nal for  going  into  action."  It  floated  from  the  main-yard  of  the  Lawrence 
until  there  was  scarcely  a  whole  stick  or  an  uninjured  man  left  standing, 
when  the  commodore  hauled  it  down,  together  with  his  pennant,  carried  both 
over  to  the  unhurt  ship,  the  Niagara,  in  a  small  boat  in  the  midst  of  a  hail 
of  shot,  ran  them  up  on  the  new  ship,  dashed  into  the  British  line,  and  won 
the  victory. 

Peny  never  claimed  to  have  originated  the  order ;  in  fact,  he  always  pro- 
fessed his  belief  in  the  story  which  made  these  the  last  dying  words  of  Cap- 
tain Lawrence.  Lawrence  was  in  command  of  the  frigate  Chesapeake  when, 
on  June  13,  1813,  she  fought  the  British  frigate  Shannon.  The  Chesapeake 
was  lying  in  Boston  har'bor,  when  the  Shannon  appeared  and  challenged 
Captain  Lawrence  to  come  out  and  fight  "ship  to  ship."  Lawrence  accepted 
the  gage,  and  sailed  out  to  meet  the  enemy.  In  twelve  minutes  the  Shannon 
had  so  injured  the  spars  and  rigging  of  the  Chesapeake  that  the  latter  was 
unmanageable.  Lawrence  ordered  the  boarders  called  up,  when  a  musket- 
ball  mortally  wounded  the  young  commander.  As  he  left  the  deck  he  said, 
"Tell  the  men  to  fire  faster,  and  not  to  give  up  the  ship;  fight  her  till  she 
sinks."  The  words  were  not  much  thought  of  at  the  time,  but  under  Perry's 
paraphrase  they  became  the  battle-cry  of  the  Americans,  as  they  have  been 
an  encouraging  maxim  in  all  walks  of  life  ever  since. 

To  Commodore  Perry  also,  and  this  time  as  an  original  utterance,  is  due 
that  well-known  expression,  "  We  have  met  the  enemy,  and  they  are  ours." 
This  also  was  born  at  the  battle  of  Lake  Erie.  As  we  have  seen,  the  dash 
of  the  Niagara  through  the  British  lines  was  soon  followed  by  surrender, 
when  Perry,  feeling  that  victory  was  secure,  sat  down,  and,  resting  his  naval 
cap  on  his  knee,  wrote  with  a  pencil  on  the  back  of  a  letter  the  famous  de- 
spatch. It  may  be  added  that  the  Americans  lost  twenty-seven  killed  and 
had  ninety-six  wounded,  while  the  British  loss  was  about  two  hundred  killed 
and  six  hundred  prisoners. 

Ships,  Burning  the,  a  familiar  locution,  meaning  to  destroy  all  means  of 
retreat  from  a  dangerous  enterprise  or  position,  leaving  no  alternative  save  to 
force  the  matter  to  an  issue.  Thus,  Marat  in  voting  for  the  death  ot  Louis 
XVI.  said,  "  Landed  but  yesterday  on  an  unknown  island,  we  must  now 
burn  the  ship  which  brought  us  to  it."  Burning  the  ships  was  a  frequent 
military  precaution  in  ancient  times  to  impress  upon  an  army  the  fact  that 
there  was  now  no  alternative  but  victory  or  death.  Agathocles,  tyrant  of 
Syracuse  (310-307  B.C.),  on  the  expedition  against  Carthage  which  followed 
his  famous  saying,  "  We  must  now  carry  the  war  into  Africa,"  burned  his 
ships  as  soon  as  he  had  landed.  So  did  Julian  the  Apostate  in  his  expedition 
against  King  Sapor  of  Persia  (a.d.  363),  Guiscard  in  his  expedition  against 
the  Greek  Emperor  Alexius  in  1084,  and  Cortez  on  landing  on  the  coast  of 
Mexico  in  15 19.  "To  burn  the  bridges,"  literally  or  metaphorically,  may  also 
mean  to  cut  off  all  retreat,  though  it  more  frequently  means  to  impede  pursuit 
when  on  a  retreat. 

Shoe  pinches,  Where  the.  In  his  life  of  Paulus  ^milius,  Plutarch, 
speaking  of  his  hero's  divorce,  and  avowing  ignorance  of  the  reasons  therefor, 
tells  the  story  of  a  certain  Roman  who  put  away  his  wife.  When  his  friends 
remonstrated  and  asked  him.  Was  she  not  fair  ?  Was  she  not  chaste  ?  Was 
she  not  fruitful  ?  he  held  out  his  shoe,  and  said,  "  Is  it  not  handsome  ?  Is 
it  not  new?  Yet  none  knows  where  it  pinches,  save  he  that  wears  it." 
Some  of  Plutarch's  commentators  think  it  not  improbable  that  Paulus 
iEmilius  was  himself  the  author  of  the  saying.  The  expression  has  passed 
into  the  proverbial  literature  of  all  European  countries. 


lOo6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Chaucer  uses  the  phrase  several  times, — e.g.^  in  "The  Marchandes  Tale :" 

But  I  wot  best  where  wryngeth  me  my  shoe. 

It  has  been  suggested  that  in  London  the  proverb  may  have  been  empha- 
sized by  the  fact  that  so  many  poor  debtors  were  confined  crowded  together 
and  "pinched"  in  the  "shoe,"  a  little  room  of  the  old  Southgate  prison,  so 
called  because  prisoners  let  down  a  shoe  from  the  window  to  receive  alms  of 
the  passers-by.  The  room  was  very  small,  the  prisoners  usually  numerous, 
and  each  knew  only  too  well  where  the  "shoe"  pinched  him. 

Shoes  at  a  Wedding.  The  custom  of  throwing  one  or  more  old  shoes 
after  the  bride  or  groom  either  when  they  go  to  church  to  be  married  or 
when  they  start  on  their  wedding-journey  is  so  old  the  memory  of  man 
stretches  not  back  to  its  beginning.  Some  think  it  represents  an  assault  and 
is  a  lingering  trace  of  the  custom  among  savage  nations  of  carrying  away  the 
bride  by  violence  ;  others  think  that  it  is  a  relic  of  the  ancient  law  of  exchange 
or  purchase,  and  that  it  formerly  implied  the  surrender  by  the  parents  of  all 
dominion  or  authority  over  their  daughter.  It  has  a  likeness  to  a  Jewish 
custom  mentioned  in  the  Bible.  Thus,  in  Deuteronomy  (xxv.  9)  we  read  that 
when  the  brother  of  a  dead  man  refused  to  marry  his  widow  she  asserted  her 
inde])endence  of  him  by  "  loosing  his  shoe."  It  was  also  the  custom  of  the 
Middle  Ages  to  place  the  husband's  shoe  on  the  head  of  the  nuptial  couch,  in 
token  of  his  domination. 

At  a  Jewish  marriage  I  was  standing  beside  the  bridegroom  when  the  bride  entered,  and 
as  she  crossed  the  threshold  he  stooped  down  and  slipped  off  his  shoe  and  struck  her  with  the 
heel  on  the  nape  of  the  neck.  I  at  once  saw  ihe  interpretation  of  the  passage  in  Scripture 
respecting  the  transfer  of  the  shoe  to  another  in  case  the  brother-in-law  did  not  exercise  his 
privilege.  The  slipper,  being  taken  off  in-doors,  or,  if  not,  left  outside  the  apartment,  is 
placed  at  the  edge  of  the  small  carpet  on  which  you  sit,  and  is  at  hand  to  administer  correc- 
tion, and  is  here  used  in  sign  of  the  obedience  of  the  wife  and  the  supremacy  of  the  husband. 
The  Highland  custom  is  to  strike  for  "  good  luck,"  as  they  say,  the  bride  with  an  old  slipper. 
Little  do  they  suspect  the  meaning  implied.  The  regalia  of  Morocco  is  enriched  with  a  pair 
of  embroidered  slippers,  which  are,  or  used  to  be,  carried  before  the  Sultan,  as  among  us  the 
sceptre  and  sword  of  state. — Urquhart  :  Pillars  of  Hercules. 

Shoes,  Waiting  for  dead  men's,  etc.  The  allusion  in  this  saying  is  to 
the  custom  among  the  Hebrews,  on  the  transfer  of  an  inheritance,  for  the 
successor  to  receive  from  the  former  possessor  his  shoe.  "  And  the  kinsman 
said,  I  cannot  redeem  it  for  myself,  lest  I  mar  mine  own  inheritance  :  redeem 
thou  my  right  to  thyself;  for  I  cannot  redeem  it.  Now  this  was  the  manner 
in  former  time  in  Israel  concerning  redeeming  and  concerning  changing,  for 
to  confirm  all  things  ;  a  man  plucked  off  his  shoe,  and  gave  it  to  his  neighbor  : 
and  this  was  a  testimony  in  Israel.  Therefore  the  kinsman  said  unto  Boaz, 
Buy  it  for  thee.  So  he  drew  off  his  shoe."  {Ruth  iv.  6,  7,  8.)  The  cognate 
phrase,  "To  stand  in  another  man's  shoes,"  however,  has  an  entirely  dif- 
ferent allusion.  According  to  Brayley,  "Graphic  Illustrator"  (1834),  among 
the  ancient  Northmen  it  was  the  custom  when  a  man  adopted  a  son  that 
the  person  adopted  should  put  on  the  shoes  of  the  adopter.  To  carry  or  to 
"unloose  a  person's  shoe"  was  a  menial  office  betokening  great  inferiority  on 
the  part  of  the  person  performing  it  (Matthew  iii.  11  ;  Mark  i.  7;  John  i.  27; 
Acts  xiii.  25). 

Shoot  folly  as  it  flies.  In  the  opening  lines  of  his  "Epistle  on  Man" 
Pope  calls  on  his  friend  St.  John  to  accompany  him  "o'er  all  this  scene  of 
man :" 

Together  let  us  beat  this  ample  field, 

Try  what  the  open,  what  the  covert  yield; 

The  latent  tracts,  the  giddy  heights  explore. 

Of  all  who  blindly  creep,  or  sightless  soar ; 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1007 

Eye  Nature's  walks,  shoot  folly  as  it  flies, 
And  catch  the  manners  living  as  they  rise  ; 
Laugh  where  we  must,  be  candid  where  we  can. 
But  vindicate  the  ways  of  God  to  man. 

Warton  objects  that  these  metaphors,  drawn  from  the  field  sports  of  setting 
and  shooting,  seem  much  below  the  dignity  of  the  subject  and  an  unnatural 
mixture  of  the  ludicrous  and  serious.  A  later  commentator  adds  that  they 
are  all  the  more  objectionable  for  that  Pope  is  not  content  with  barely  touch- 
ing the  subject  en  passant,  but  pursues  it  with  such  minuteness:  let  us  beat 
this  ample  field,  try  what  the  covert  yields,  eye  Nature's  walks,  shoot  folly,  etc. 
The  same  metaphor,  though  less  persistently  harped  upon,  may  be  found  in 
Dryden  : 

While  he  with  watchful  eye 
Observes  and  shoots  their  treasons  as  they  fly. 

Absalom  and  Achitophel,  Part  II. 
Youth  should  watch  joys  and  shoot  'em  as  they  fly. 

Aurengzebe ,  Act  iii. 
As  to  the  last  line  of  the  quotation,  it  is  obviously  taken  from  Milton : 
And  justify  the  ways  of  God  to  men. 

Paradise  Lost,  Book  i.,  1.  26. 
Milton  had  previously  said, — 

Just  are  the  ways  of  God, 

And  justifiable  to  men  ; 

Unless  there  be  who  think  not  God  at  all. 

Samson  Agonistes,  1.  293. 

Shopkeepers,  Nation  of.  This  contemptuous  description  of  the  Eng, 
lish  is  persistently  attributed  to  Napoleon  I.,  but  it  is  doubtful  if  he  evei 
used  it;  it  is  quite  certain  he  did  not  originate  it.  The  phrases  "a  shop^ 
keeping  nation"  and  "  a  nation  of  shopkeepers"  appear,  the  first  in  a  tract  by 
Dean  Tucker,  of  Gloucester  (1766),  the  second  in  Adam  Smith's  "Wealth 
of  Nations,"  vol.  ii.,  book  iv.,  ch.  vii.  (1775),  in  both  cases  with  a  general 
application.  The  special  application  of  the  term  to  England  seems  to  have 
originated  with  Samuel  Adams,  in  a  speech  purporting  to  have  been  delivered 
in  Philadelphia,  August  i,  1776.  This  speech  appeared  as  a  reprint  in  Lon- 
don (1776),  and  was  translated  into  German  in  1778.  Though  copies  of  both 
the  German  and  the  English  edition  are  still  extant,  no  trace  has  been  found 
of  an  original  American  edition.  It  is  even  doubted  whether  the  speech  was 
ever  delivered.  Barere  may  or  may  not  have  had  Adams's  phrase  in  mind 
when  he  said,  in  his  speech  in  the  Convention  on  June  11,  1794,  defending 
the  Committee  of  Safety,  "  Let  Pitt  then  boast  of  his  victory  to  his  shop- 
keeping  nation"  {sa  nation  boidiqniire).  He  certainly  helped  to  make  the 
phrase  stick.  It  had  become  a  commonplace  when  the' Emperor  Francis  II. 
said  to  Napoleon,  in  1805,  "The  English  are  a  nation  of  merchants.  To 
secure  for  themselves  the  commerce  of  the  world  they  are  willing  to  set  the 
Continent  in  flames." 

When  England's  mercantile  interests  suffer,  she  is  more  dangerous  than  ever.  In  all 
creation  there  is  no  being  so  hard-hearted  as  the  shopkeeper  whose  trade  is  at  a  stand-stil), 
whose  customers  are  leaving  him,  and  whose  stock  finds  no  purchasers. — Heinb. 

Byron  uses  the  phrase,  but  in  no  uncomplimentary  sense  : 

At  length  they  rose,  like  a  white  wall,  .nlong 

The  blue  sea's  border,  and  Don  Juan  felt — 
What  even  young  strangers  feel  a  little  strong 

At  the  first  sign  of  Albion's  chalky  belt — 
A  kind  of  pride  that  he  should  be  among 

Those  haughty  shopkeepers,  who  sternly  dealt 
Their  goods  and  edicts  out  from  pole  to  pole. 
And  made  the  very  billows  pay  them  toll. 

Don  Juan,  Canto  x..  Stanza  65. 


loo8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Shut  of, — i.e.  rid  of, — a  familiar  phrase  in  the  United  States.     Like  many 
other  so-called  Americanisms,  it  is  a  survival  of  a  common  old  English  form 
which  was  anciently  in  respectable  literary  use.     Thus,  Massinger,  in  "The 
Unnatural  Combat"  (1639),  Act  iii.,  Sc.  i.,  says, — 
We  are  shut  of  him  : 
He  will  be  seen  no  more  here. 

Bunyan,  who  was  naturally  fond  of  racy  and  ])roverbial  expressions,  uses  it 
in  the  "Holy  War."  Many  years  earlier  Thomas  Nashe  employs  the  phrase 
in  his  satirical  pamphlet  "  Have  with  you  to  Saffron  Walden,"  where,  in  the 
"  Address  to  the  Reader,"  referring  to  his  unfortunate  antagonist  the  pedantic 
Gabriel  Harvey,  he  writes,  "I  have  him  haunt  me  up  and  downe  to  be  my 
prentise  to  learne  to  endite,  and  doo  what  I  can,  I  shall  not  be  shut  of  him." 

The  phrase  is  now  banished  from  literature,  and  in  England  lingers  only 
as  a  provincialism  in  the  northern  counties  and  among  the  low  order  of 
Londoners. 

Shyster,  in  American  slang,  a  dishonest  or  unscrupulous  attorney.  The 
word  is  said  to  have  originated  in  New  York,  and  this  story  is  told  of  it.  A 
German  attorney  applied  at  the  Tombs  Court  in  1840  for  a  warrant  against  a 
client  who  had  called  him  bad  names.  One  of  these  names — a  not  very 
polite  one — he  pronounced  much  as  "shyster"  is  now  spelled.  It  soon 
became  current  prison. slang  for  a  disreputable  practitioner.  George  Wilkes, 
who  then  edited  the  Police  Gazette,  first  wrote  the  word  in  its  present  form. 
Justice  Miller,  of  the  United  States  Supreme  Court,  gave  it  a  judicial  adop- 
tion into  our  language  in  an  address  before  the  Iowa  bar  about  the  time  of 
the  Beecher  trial. 

Si  monumentum  quaeris,  circumspice  (L.,  "  If  you  seek  his  monu- 
ment, look  around  you"),  an  inscription  in  honor  of  the  architect,  Sir  Christo- 
pher Wren,  in  St.  Paul's  Cathedral,  a  building  which  he  designed  and 
erected. 

The  St.  James's  Gazette  recently  told  this  story  : 

It  were  a  pity  that  the  good  sayings  and  witticisms  of  Lowell  should  be  lost.  I  send  you 
one  of  which  he  was  the  author  at  a  medical  dinner  given  in  London  a  few  years  ago.  In  his 
speech  he  alluded  to  a  distinguished  surgeon  whose  fame  was  so  great  that  no  marble  monu- 
ment was  required  to  commemorate  the  name.  The  doctor's  friends,  said  Mr.  Lowell, 
thought  it  sufficient  to  lay  him  in  the  country  church-yard  with  the  simple  and  famous  epitaph 
on  his  grave, — 

Si  monumentum  quseris,  circumspice. 

Very  good.  But,  unfortunately,  Lowell  was  borrowing,  either  consciously 
or  unconsciously.     Horace  Smith  in  his  "  Tin  Trumpet"  had  already  said, — 

Sir  Christopher  Wren's  inscription  in  St.  Paul's  Church— "  Si  monumentum  quseris,  cir- 
cumspice"— wou!d  be  equally  applicable  to  a  physician  buried  in  a  church-yard;  both  being 
interred  in  the  midst  of  their  own  works. 

The  motto  of  the  State  of  Michigan  is  adapted  from  the  above  :  "  Si  quaeris 
peninsulam  amoenam,  circumspice"  ("  If  you  seek  a  beautiful  peninsula,  look 
around  you"). 

Sic  vos  non  vobis  (L.,  literally,  "so  you  not  for  yourselves"),  a  phrase 
dating  back  to  Virgil,  and  meaning  that  the  speaker  has  written  or  done 
something  the  credit  of  which  is  claimed  by  another.  The  poet  had  written 
a  distich  in  praise  of  Augustus,  which  was  claimed  by  a  versifier  named 
Bathyllus.     Virgil,  indignant,  wrote  beneath  the  distich  these  lines : 

Hos  ego  versiculos  feci,  tulit  alter  honores  ; 

Sic  vos  non  vobis — 

Sic  vos  non  vobis — 

Sic  vos  non  vobis — 

Sic  vos  non  vobis — 


.  LITER AR  Y  CURIOSITIES.  1 009 

Augustus  asked  Bathyllus  if  he  could  finish  the  lines,  but  he  could  not 
Virgil  then  came  forward  and  said  he  could.     So  he  finished  them  thus : 
— fertis  aratra  boves  ; 
— mellificatis  apes  ; 
— vellera  fertis  oves  ; 
— nidificatis  aves. 

The  five  lines  might  be  Englished  thus:  "These  verses  I  made,  another 
carries  off  the  honors :  so  you  for  others,  oxen,  bear  the  yoke ;  so  you  for 
others,  bees,  store  up  honey;  so  you  for  others,  sheep,  bear  your  fleeces; 
so  you  for  others,  birds,  build  your  nests." 

Sick  Man  of  Europe, — i.e.,  Turkey.  This  phrase  was  made  popular  by 
the  Emperor  Nicholas  I.  of  Russia.  Conversing  in  1853  with  Sir  George 
Hamilton  Seymour,  the  English  ambassador  at  St.  Petersburg,  he  used  words 
like  the  following :  "  We  have  on  our  hands  a  sick  man, — a  very  sick  man. 
It  will  be  a  great  misfortune  if,  one  of  these  days,  he  should  slip  away  from 
us  before  the  necessary  arrangements  have  been  made."  {Blue  Book,  1854.) 
He  accordingly  made  proposals  to  both  England  and  France  for  a  division  of 
the  sick  man's  estate,  but  his  overtures  were  declined.  Lord  John  Russell 
suggesting  that  the  dissolution  of  the  sick  man  might  be  postponed  another 
hundred  years.  Nicholas,  however,  was  only  repeating  an  old  illustration. 
Sir  Thomas  Roe,  ambassador  from  England  to  Constantinople  in  the  time  of 
James  II.,  had  written  home  in  despatches,  "Turkey  is  like  the  body  of  an 
old  man  crazed  with  vices,  which  puts  on  the  appearance  of  health  though 
near  its  end."  Montesquieu  in  the  "  Lettres  Persanes,"  i.  19,  marvels  at  the 
weakness  of  the  Ottoman  power,  "  whose  sick  body  is  not  supported  by  a 
mild  and  regular  diet,  but  by  a  powerful  treatment  which  continually  exhausts 
it."  And  Voltaire,  writing  to  Catherine  II.,  says,  "  Your  majesty  may  think 
me  an  impatient  sick  man,  and  that  the  Turks  are  even  sicker." 

Silence.  John  Morley,  at  the  beginning  of  his  article  on  Carlyie  ("  Lit- 
erary Miscellanies,"  vol.  ii.),  which  was  written  on  the  appearance  of  the 
library  edition  of  Carlyle's  works,  says,  very  neatly  and  epigrammatically, 
"The  canon  is  definitely  made  up  and  the  whole  of  the  golden  gospel  of 
silence  effectively  compressed  in  thirty-five  volumes."  Carlyie  was,  in  truth, 
given  to  shouting  from  the  house-tops  his  approval  of  the  old  maxim,  "  Speech 
is  silvern,  Silence  is  golden."  He  quotes  it  in  "Sartor  Resartus"  (Book  iii., 
chap,  iii.)  as  a  Swiss  inscription  ("  Sprechen  ist  silbern,  Schweigen  ist  golden"), 
and  adds,  "or,  as  I  might  rather  express  it.  Speech  is  of  Time,  Silence  is  of 
Eternity."  But  in  truth  the  proverb  seems  to  be  common  to  all  countries, 
and  in  this  form  is  probably  of  Arabian  origin.  In  Greece  Simonides  said, 
"  I  have  never  felt  sorry  for  having  held  my  tongue,"  and  Dionysius  the 
Elder,  "  Let  thy  speech  be  better  than  silence,  or  be  silent"  {Frag.  6),  and 
Menander,  "  Nothing  is  more  useful  than  silence."  Martial  in  his  "  Epigrams" 
(iv.  80)  has  "  Res  est  magna  tacere"  ("  The  great  thing  is  to  be  silent"),  while 
Publius  Syrus  declares,  "  Rara  est  ejusdem  hominis  multa  et  opportune 
dicere"  ("  It  is  rare  that  the  same  man  talks  much  and  well").  The  Talmud 
says,  "Much  talk,  much  foolishness,"  whence  Corneille  derived  his  line, 
"Mais  qui  parle  beaucoup  dit  beaucoup  de  sottises"  (Sequel  to  Le  Menteur, 
iii.  i).  In  modern  literature  George  Herbert  echoed  Dionysius  in  the  phrase 
"Speak  fitly,  or  be  silent  wisely."     Chaucer  had  said, — 

The  firste  vertue,  sone,  if  thou  wilt  lere. 
Is  to  restreine  and  kepen  wel  thy  tonge. 

The  Manciples  Tale,  1.  17,281. 

And  Disraeli,  the  flippant,  talkative,  and  shallow  Disraeli,  says,  "  Silence  is 
the  mother  of  Truth"  {Tancred,  Book  iv.,  ch.  iv.).     Carlyie,  to  return  to  our 
2S  000  85 


lOIO  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

great  protagonist,  was  never  tired  of  ringing  the  changes  on  the  thought, 
"  Speech  is  great,  but  Silence  is  greater,"  he  urges  in  "  Heroes  and  Hero- 
Worship  :  The  Poet  as  Hero ;"  and  in  his  Essay  on  Scott,  "  Under  all 
speech  that  is  good  for  anything  there  lies  a  silence  that  is  better.  Silence  is 
deep  as  Eternity  ;  Speech  is  shallow  as  Time,"  and  so  on.  Emerson  has  a  fine 
phrase  in  his  essay  on  "  Friendship  :"  "  Let  us  be  silent,  so  we  may  hear  the 
whisper  of  the  gods."  Hawthorne  ingeniously  suggests  in  his  "American 
Note-Books,"  under  date  of  April,  1841,  "Articulate  words  are  a  harsh  clamor 
and  dissonance.  When  man  arrives  at  his  highest  perfection  he  will  again  be 
dumb.  For  I  suppose  he  was  dumb  at  the  creation,  and  must  go  around  an 
entire  circle  in  order  to  return  to  that  blessed  state."  Nevertheless  there  is 
a  modus  in  rebus.  Garnett,  in  his  "  Idylls  and  Epigrams,"  thus  versifies  a 
saying  of  Simonides : 

"  I  hardly  ever  ope  my  lips,"  one  cries  :     • 

"  Simonides,  what  think  you  of  ray  rule?" 
"  If  you're  a  fool,  1  think  you're  very  wise; 

If  you  are  wise,  I  think  you  are  a  fool." 

Among  the  epigrams  of  Palladas  may  be  found  the  original  of  a  modern 
saw,  the  purport  of  which  is  that  an  ignoramus,  by  maintaining  a  prudent 
silence,  may  pass  for  a  wise  man  : 

lias  Tis  airaiSeuTOS  <(>poviiiu>TaTOi  itrri  tTiuiiTMV. 

Shakespeare  uses  the  same  idea  in  the  "  Merchant  of  Venice :" 

O  my  Antonio,  I  do  know  of  these 
That  therefore  only  are  reputed  wise 
For  saying  nothing. 

Act  i.,  Sc.  I. 

Coleridge  speaks  of  a  dignified  man  he  once  saw  at  a  dinner-table.  "  He 
listened  to  me,"  says  the  poet,  "and  said  nothing  for  a  long  time;  but  he 
nodded  his  head,  and  I  thought  him  intelligent.  At  length,  towards  the 
end  of  the  dinner,  some  apple-dumplings  were  placed  on  the  table,  and  my 
man  had  no  sooner  seen  them  than  he  burst  forth  with.  'Them's  the  jockeys 
for  me  !'  I  wish  Spurzheim  could  have  examined  the  fellow's  head."  It  was 
a  popular  saying  about  the  taciturn  Moltke,  applied  in  no  uncomplimentary 
spirit,  that  he  could  be  "silent  in  seven  languages."  These  words  were  first 
used  by  Schleiermacher  with  reference  to  the  very  eminent  and  very  modest 
philologist  Emanuel  Bekker  (see  letter  of  Zelter  to  Goethe,  March  15,  1830). 

Silence  that  spoke.  Pope  has  interpolated  a  daring  and  successful 
image  into  his  translation  of  the  Iliad : 

In  this  were  every  art  and  every  charm 
To  win  the  wisest,  and  the  coldest  warm  : 
Fond  love,  the  gentle  vow,  the  gay  desire. 
The  kind  deceit,  the  still  reviving  fire. 
Persuasive  speech,  and  more  persuasive  sighs. 
Silence  that  spoke,  and  eloquence  of  eyes. 

Book  xiv.,  1.  247. 

The  original,  literally  translated,  runs  as  follows  : 

In  it  were  love,  desire,  the  converse  of  lovers,  allurement  of  speech,  which  steals  away  the 
mind  even  of  the  very  prudent. 

The  last  line  of  Pope's  version,  it  will  be  seen,  is  Pope's,  and  Pope's  alone. 
In  Exodus  X.  21  we  are  told  of  a  "darkness  which  may  be  felt."  A  silence 
that  spoke  was  a  familiar  figure  before  Pope.  Thus,  Milton  in  his  "Samson 
Agonistes  :" 

The  deeds  themselves,  though  mute,  spoke  loud  the  doer. 
Voltaire,  in  his  "CEdipus,"  written  almost  contemporaneously  with  Pope's 
"  Iliad,"  makes  Jocasta  say, — 

Tout  parle  contre  nous,  jusqu'^  notre  silence. 


\^ LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  lOII 

Delille,  in  a  famous  line,  speaks  of  a  silence  that  might  be  heard : 

II  ne  voit  que  la  nuit,  n'entend  que  le  silence ; 
— a  line,  however,  which  he  borrowed  from  Theophile  de  Viau  : 
On  n'oit  que  le  silence,  on  ne  voit  rien  que  I'ombre. 
Shakespeare  goes  still  further  in  his  effort  to  make  Bottom  ridiculous : 
The  eye  of  man  hath  not  heard,  the  ear  of  man  hath  not  seen,  man's  hand  is  not  able  to 
taste,  his  tongue  to  conceive,  nor  his  heart  to  report,  what  my  dream  was. — Midsummer 
Night's  Dream,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  i. 

He  rather  runs  the  joke  into  the  ground  in  succeeding  passages : 
I  see  a  voice  ;  now  will  I  to  the  chink. 
To  spy  if  I  can  hear  my  Thisbe's  face. 

Act  v.,  Sc.  I. 
Will  it  please  you  to  see  the  epilogue,  or  to  hear  a  Bergomask  dance  between  two  of  our 
company  ? — Ibid. 

Mr.  W.  J.  Clouston  finds  a  parallel  for  this  sort  of  fooling  in  an  ancient 
Hindoo  play  called  "  The  Toy-Cart,"  where  Samst'hanaka,  an  ignorant  and 
frivolous  coxcomb,  says,  "  I  can  hear  with  my  nostrils  the  scent  of  her  gar- 
land spreading  through  the  darkness ;  but  I  do  not  see  the  sound  of  her 
ornaments." 

Silk-Stockings,  a  nickname  given  by  the  rough-and-ready  class  of  prac- 
tical politicians  to  the  better  conditioned  and  better  dressed,  or  those  who  in 
any  way  assume  to  be  superior  to  the  common  run.  A  synonymous  and  more 
modern  term  is  "  Swallow-Tails,"  invented  by  John  Morrissey,  a  retired  prize- 
fighter and  prominent  local  politician  of  New  York.  In  1S76  a  large  number 
of  fashionable  men  having  taken  an  unusual  interest  in  politics  and  gained 
some  influence  in  party  councils,  the  incensed  Morrissey  waS  met  one  morning 
parading  the  street  in  full  evening  dre.ss  and  with  a  French  dictionary  under 
his  arm.  He  explained  that  since  the  eruption  of  the  swallow-tails  that 
sort  of  thing  was  necessary  in  order  to  retain  one's  influence.  The  opposite 
faction,  the  toughs,  are  called  "  Short-Hairs,"  probably  in  allusion  to  their 
"fighting  cut." 

Silver  Fork  SchooL  Not  a  "  school,"  but  merely  a  collective  designa- 
tion for  those  novelists  who  lay  especial  stress  on  the  etiquette  of  the  drawing- 
room  and  the  external  graces  of  society.  Among  the  more  prominent  usually 
included  in  this  class  were  Theodore  Hook,  Lady  Blessington,  Mrs,  Trollope, 
and  Sir  Edward  Bulwer  (Lord  Lytton). 

SimUia  similibus  curantur  (L.,  "Like  cures  like"),  the  motto  of  the 
homoeopathic  school  of  medicine.  But  it  was  not  invented  by  Hahnemann, 
He  himself  refers  it  to  Hippocrates  :  "  By  similar  things  disease  is  produced, 
and  by  similar  things  administered  to  the  sick  they  are  healed  of  their  dis- 
eases. Thus,  the  same  thing  which  will  produce  a  strangury  when  it  does  not 
exist  will  remove  it  when  it  does."  This  is  a  sentence  from  Xltpl  Tonuv  tQv 
Kar'  uvdpumv,  one  of  the  writings  attributed  to  Hippocrates.  In  the  preface 
to  his  "  Samsnn  Aijonistes"  Milton  quotes  from  Aristotle  a  saying  that  tragedy 
is  of  power,  by  raising  pity  and  fear,  or  terror,  to  purge  the  mmd  of  those 
and  such  like  passions  :  "  Nor  is  Nature  wanting  in  her  own  efi'ects  to  make  good 
his  assertion  ;  for  so  in  physic  things  of  melancholic  hue  and  quality  are  used 
against  melancholy,  sour  against  sour,  salt  to  remove  salt  humors."  Evi- 
dently a  sort  of  homoeopathy  was  practised  in  Milton's  time.  Nay,  in  old 
receipt-books  do  we  not  find  it  invariably  advised  that  an  inebriate  should 
drink  sparingly  in  the  morning  some  of  the  same  liquor  that  he  had  drunk 
to  excess  overnight  ?     And  has  not  this  advice  found  a  well-known  proverbial 


IOI2  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

form,  "  Take  a  hair  of  the  dog  that  bit  you"  ?  which  is  found  at  least  as  far 
back  as  Heywood : 

I  pray  thee  let  me  and  my  fellow  have 
A  haire  of  the  dog  that  bit  us  last  night. 

Proverbs,  Part  I.,  ch.  xi. 

In  a  song  of  the  date  1650  the  following  verse  occurs  : 
If  any  so  wise  is,  that  sack  he  despises, 

Let  him  drink  his  small  beer  and  be  sober; 
And  while  we  drink  and  sing,  as  if  it  were  spring. 

He  shall  droop  like  the  trees  in  October. 
But  be  sure  overnight,  if  this  dog  do  you  bite. 

You  may  take  it  henceforth  for  a  warning, 
Soon  as  out  of  your  bed,  to  settle  your  head. 

Take  a  hair  of  his  tail  in  the  morning. 

The  same  proverb  may  be  found  before  Heywood's  time  in  continental 
Europe.     De  Lincy  (vol.  i.  p.  192)  has, — 

Du  poll  de  la  beste  qui  te  mordit, 
Ou  de  son  sane  sera  gueri, 

which  he  finds  in  Bovillus's  "  Proverbs."  The  year  of  the  publication  of 
Bovillus's  collection  is  1531.  The  proverb  appears  to  have  been  in  common 
use  in  the  sixteenth  century.     De  Lincy  has  again  (vol.  i.,  pp.  171  and  167) 

Poll  (dit  Bacchus)  du  mesme  chien 
Est  au  pion  souverain  bien. 

Gabriel  Meurier:   Tresor  des  Sentences,  xv\»  sihcle. 

Centre  morstu-e  de  chien  de  nuit 
Le  mesme  poil  tres-bien  y  duit. 

/iid. 

In  the  "  Regimen  Sanitatis  Salernitanum"  there  is  the  repetition  to  which 
the  proverb  refers,  in  the  lines, — 

Si  tibi  serotina  noceat  potatio  vini, 
Hora  matutina  rebibas,  et  erit  medicina. 

Vv.  45,  46. 

In  all  the  above  instances  the  phrase  is  used  metaphorically.  Yet  it  was 
also  held,  literally,  that  the  hair  of  a  dog  which  had  bit  you  was  a  cure  for 
the  wound.  So  recently  as  1670  a  receipt-book  contains  the  following  :  "Take 
a  hair  from  the  dog  that  bit  you,  dry  it,  put  it  into  the  wound,  and  it  will  heal 
it,  be  it  never  so  sore." 

Heywood  also  has  the  saying  "  Like  will  to  like,"  which  is  one  of  an 
immense  cycle  of  popular  saws  :  "  To  the  pure  all  things  are  pure,"  "  Set  a 
thief  to  catch  a  thief,"  "  It  takes  a  wise  man  to  discover  a  wise  man"  (the 
latter  quoted  from  Xenophanes  by  Diogenes  Laertius),  "  Look  for  a  tough 
wedge  for  a  tough  log,"  which  is  the  723d  Maxim  of  Publius  Syrus,  and 
so  on. 

Simplex  munditiis,  a  phrase  from  Horace's  Odes,  I.,  v.  5,  which  Con- 
ington  translates,  "  So  trim,  so  simple,"  and  Francis,  "  Plain  in  thy  neatness." 
The  common  English  phrase  "neat,  not  gaudy,"  or  "elegant  simplicity,"  suf- 
ficiently expresses  the  idea.     The  former  may  be  found  in  a  letter  from  Charles 
Lamb  to  Wordsworth,  1806.     Was  he  misquoting  Polonius, — 
Costly  thy  habit  as  thy  purse  can  buy, 
But  not  expressed  in  fancy  ;  rich,  not  gaudy  : 
For  the  apparel  oft  proclaims  the  man, 

Hamlet,  Act  i.,  Sc.  3, — 

or  was  he  simply  catching  an  echo  of  the  street? 
Thomson  says  in  his  "  Seasons," — 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1013 

Loveliness 
Needs  not  the  foreign  aid  of  ornament. 
But  is,  when  unadorned,  adorned  the  most. 

Autumn,  1.  204; 
which  is  not  unlike  Milton  : 

In  naked  beauty  more  adorned, 
More  lovely  than  Pandora. 

Paradise  Lost,  Book  iv.,  1.  713. 

Milton  and  Thomson  alike,  however,  were  anticipated  by  Cicero : 
Nam  ut  mulieres  esse  dicuntur  nonnullse  inornatae,  quas  id  ipsum  diceat,  sic  haec  subtilis 
oratio  etiam  incompta  delectat.     ("  For  as  lack  of  adornment  is  said  to  become  some  women, 
so  this  subtle  oration,  though  without  embellishment,  gives  delight.")— Ora/<7r.,  xxiii.  78. 

Herrick  says, — 

A  sweet  disorder  in  the  dress 
Kindles  in  clothes  a  wantonness. 
*  %  *  *  * 

A  winning  wave,  deserving  note. 
In  the  tempestuous  petticoat ; 
A  careless  shoe-string,  in  whose  tie 
I  see  a  wild  civility, — 
Do  more  bewitch  me  than  when  art 
Is  too  precise  in  every  part. 

Disorder  in  the  Dress: 
and  Ben  Jonson  said  before  him, — 

Give  me  a  look,  give  me  a  face. 

That  makes  simplicity  a  grace  ; 

Robes  loosely  flowing,  hair  as  free, — 

Such  sweet  neglect  more  taketh  me 

Than  all  the  adulteries  of  art : 

They  strike  mine  eyes,  but  not  my  heart. 

Epicoene  :  or.  The  Silent  Woman,  Act  i.,  Sc.  i. 

Nudity  is  wittily  described  by  Rabelais,  Book  iv.,  chap,  xxix.,  in  the  gar- 
ments of  King  Shrovetide  of  Sneak  Island,  who  was  dressed  in  "gray  and 
cold"  of  a  comical  cut,  being  "  nothing  before,  nothing  behind,  and  sleeves 
of  the  same."  Parisians  say  of  nude  statues  that  they  are  "  draped  in  ceru- 
lean blue." 

Sirloin  of  Beef  is  properly  surloin, — from  the  French  snr,  "  upon"  or 
"above,"  and  longe,  "loin."  Dr.  Johnson  was  the  first  lexicographer  who 
spelt  it  with  the  letter  /,  being  probably  misled  by  the  old  story  that  it  derived 
its  name  from  being  knighted  by  James  I.  But  in  fact  the  story  itself  only 
asserts  that  the  king  made  a  punning  change  from  sur  to  sir.  According  to 
Ruby's  "Traditions  of  Lancashire,"  when  that  monarch  was  entertained  at 
Hoghton  Tower,  near  Blackburn,  "casting  his  eyes  upon  a  noble  sirloin  at 
the  lower  end  of  the  table,  he  called  out,  '  Bring  hither  that  sirloin,  sirrah, 
for  'tis  worthy  of  a  more  honorable  post,  being,  as  I  may  say,  not  jwHoin,  but 
Sir  Loin,  the  noblest  joint  of  all  !' " 

At  Chingford,  Essex,  England,  at  a  demi-palace  called  Friday  House,  or 
Friday  Hill  House,  there  is  still  preserved  the  table  said  to  have  been  used 
by  the  monarch  upon  that  historic  occasion.  Set  deep  in  the  centre  of  the 
table,  which  is  of  oak,  there  is  a  brass  plate  with  this  inscription  :  "All  lovers 
of  roast  beef  will  like  to  know  that  on  this  table  a  loin  was  knighted  by  King 
James  the  First  upon  his  return  from  hunting  in  Epping  Forest." 

The  story  has  been  told  of  other  monarchs.  In  his  "Church  History  of 
England,"  1655,  Fuller  speaks  of  "a  Sir-loyne  of  beef,  .so  knighted,  saith 
tradition,  by  this  King  Henry"  (the  Eighth).  And  the  Athenian  Mercury  of 
March  6,  1694,  has  this  note:  "King  Henry  VIII.,  dining  with  the  Abbot  of 
Redding,  and  feeding  heartily  on  a  Loyn  of  Beef,  as  it  was  then  called,  the 
Abbot  told  the  King  he  would  give  a  thousand  marks  for  such  a  Stomack, 
85* 


I0I4  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

which  the  King  procured  him  by  keeping  him  shut  in  the  Tower,  got  his 
thousand  marks,  and  knighted  the  Beef  for  its  good  behaviour."  In  "  Queen 
Elizabeth's  Progresses,"  under  date  March  31,  1573,  mention  is  made  of  "a 
Sorloine  of  Byfe." 

Six  of  one  and  half  a  dozen  of  the  other,  a  familiar  English  proverb, 
identical  with  "much  of  a  muchness,"  "not  a  pin  to  choose,"  or  "never  a 
barrel  better  herring,"  the  latter  a  very  common  sixteenth-century  saying. 
Thus,  Burton,  in  his  "Anatomy,"  "You  shall  find  them  all  alike,  never  a 
barrel  better  herring ;"  and  in  the  translation  of  the  "  Adagia"  of  Erasmus 
{1542),  "Two  feloes  being  alike  flagicious,  and  neither  barrell  better  herring, 
accused  either  other,  the  Kyng  Philippus  in  his  owne  persone  sitting  in 
iudgement  upon  theim.  The  cause  all  heard,  he  gaue  sentence  and  iudge- 
ment,  that  the  one  shoulde  with  all  spede  and  celeritie  auoide  or  flee  the 
royalme  or  countree  of  Macedonia  and  the  other  shoulde  pursue  after  him." 

Skeleton  in  the  closet,  a  proverbial  expression  meaning  the  secret  care 
that  sits  in  every  man's  home,  but  which  he  strives  to  hide  from  the  world  at 
large.  It  was  a  theme  upon  which  Thackeray  was  fond  of  harping.  The 
seventeenth  chapter  of  "The  Newcomes"  is  headed  "Barnes's  Skeleton 
Closet."  It  might  seem  that  there  was  a  reference  here  to  the  closet  in  which 
Bluebeard  kept  the  skeletons  of  his  wives.  Unfortunately  for  this  supposi- 
tion, the  original  word  does  not  seem  to  have  been  "  skeleton."  Thus,  Miss 
Terrier  uses  the  phrase  "  the  black  man  in  her  closet." 

Slate,  to  make  up  the.  In  American  political  slang  this  signifies  the 
secret  understanding  by  which  the  leaders  of  a  political  party  determine 
among  themselves  before  the  meeting  of  a  nominating  convention  the  names 
of  the  candidates  for  office  which  they  desire  and  which  they  will  endeavor 
by  all  their  influence,  open  or  covert,  to  have  put  in  nomination  by  the  con- 
vention. The  defeat  of  the  preconcerted  plan  by  the  independent  action  of 
the  convention  is  called  "smashing"  or  "breaking  the  slate."  A  person 
whose  name  has  been  thus  selected  for  presentation  to  a  convention  for  its 
approval  and  nomination  by  it  is  said  to  be  slated.  The  phrase  has  come 
into  common  vogue,  and  is  used  wherever  at  a  meeting  a  list  of  officers  to  be 
elected  is  made, — e.g.,  at  the  meeting  of  directors  or  controlling  stockholders 
of  private  corporations  prior  to  the  annual  meetings,  etc.  The  origin  of  the 
phrase  is  unknown,  but  it  is  suggested  as  probable  that  at  some  early  stage  of 
the  practice  a  slate  was  used  as  a  convenient  instrument  upon  which  to  make 
the  list,  from  the  ease  with  which  names  could  be  erased  from  it  and  added  to 
it,  to  serve  exigencies  as  they  arose  in  the  progress  of  the  discussion  towards 
an  agreement. 

Slaveocracy,  Slave   Oligarchy,    Slave  Power,   etc.     These   were 

cant  phrases  invented  during  the  Abolition  agitation  in  the  North  to  desig- 
nate the  oligarchy  of  slave-owners  whose  influence  prevailed  in  the  political 
councils  of  the  Southern  States  before  the  war,  and  whose  machinations  pre- 
cipitated the  conflict.  Notwithstanding  the  fact  that  when  upon  what  they 
believed  to  be  their  rights  under  the  Constitution  the  people  of  the  Southern 
States  were  a  unit  in  favor  of  secession  from  the  Union,  there  was  a  large 
section  of  the  people  who  saw  in  slavery  a  terrible  misfortune  and  a  threatening 
incubus  to  their  material  prosperity.  But  the  magnitude  of  the  problem  of 
its  abolition  and  of  the  question  how  to  dispose  of  the  negro  population  and 
replace  it  by  other  and  better  forms  of  labor  seemed  to  them  to  make  the 
solution  a  hopeless  task.  The  radical  sentiments  of  Thomas  Jefferson,  which 
frightened  even  the  conservative  John  Adams,  of  Massachusetts,  will  be 
remembered.     As  late  as  1832,  Thomas  Jefferson  Randolph,  of  Virginia,  sub- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1015 

mined  a  plan  of  abolition  to  Congress.  H.  R.  Helper's  book,  "The  Impend- 
ing Crisis  of  the  South,"  formulated  the  sentiments  of  the  commercial  and 
industrial  non-slaveholding  classes,  showing  how  their  interests  and  the  ma- 
terial prosperity  of  this  portion  of  the  Southern  people  were  subverted  and 
disregarded  by  the  selfish  policy  of  the  slaveholding  oligarchy  ;  it  called  for 
active  resistance  to  them  on  the  part  of  those  whose  demands  and  wishes  were 
by  them  set  at  naught.  It  was  this  smaller  but  extremely  active  and  power- 
ful oligarchy  to  which  the  terms  slaveocracy,  slave  power,  etc.,  were  applied, 
and  not,  as  is  generally  supposed,  the  whole  white  population  of  the  former 
slave  States. 

Slip  of  the  tongue,  a  colloquialism  for  an  inadvertent  mistake,  a  tnal- 
h-propos  remark.     An  anonymous  bit  of  verse  runs, — 

If  you  your  lips 

Would  keep  from  slips. 
Of  these  five  things  beware  : 

Of  whom  you  speak. 

To  whom  you  speak. 
And  how,  and  when,  and  where. 

This  seems  to  be  a  jingling  summary  of  the  advice  which  Catwg  the  Wise 
gave  to  his  pupil  Taliesin  : 

Tiiink  before  thou  speakest : 
First,  what  thou  shall  speak; 
Secondly,  why  thou  shouldst  speak ; 
Thirdly,  to  whom  thou  mayest  have  to  speak  ; 
Fourthly,  about  whom  (or  what)  thou  art  to  speak ; 
Fifthly,  what  will  come  from  what  thou  mayest  speak; 
Sixthly,  what  may  be  the  benefit  from  what  thou  shalt  speak ; 
Seventhly,  who  may  be  listening  to  what  thou  shalt  speak. 

Smell  of  the  lamp.  To.  According  to  Plutarch  in  his  life  of  Demos- 
thenes, Pythias  once  scoffingly  told  the  orator  that  his  arguments  smelt  of  the 
lamp.  Not  entirely  dissimilar  is  Byron's  phrase  in  the  last  line  of  Canto  xxxix. 
of  "  Beppo :" 

'Tis  true,  your  budding  Miss  is  very  charming. 

But  shy  and  awkward  at  first  coming  out. 
So  much  alarmed,  that  she  is  quite  alarming. 

All  Giggle,  Blush  ;  half  Pertness  and  half  Pout ; 
And  glancing  at  Mamma,  for  fear  there's  harm  in 

What  you,  she,  it,  or  they  may  be  about. 
The  nursery  still  lisps  out  in  all  they  utter, — 
Besides,  they  always  smell  of  bread  and  butter. 

A  closer  parallel,  however,  may  be  found  in  one  of  Middleton's  plays,  "  Your 
Five  Gallants."  Goldstone,  one  of  the  Gallants,  or  sharpers,  referring  to  Fits- 
grave,  their  gull,  speaks  of  him  as  piping  hot  from  the  University,  and  adds, 
"He  smells  of  buttered  loaves  yet." 

Smile,  in  American  slang,  a  drink  of  any  alcoholic  liquor,  because  it 
induces  mirth  and  laughter  : 

"  Say,  stranger !  won't  you  smile  ?".(I  had  been  smiling  unremittingly.  I  could  not  help  it.) 
But  in  America  smiling,  seeing  a  man,  and  liquoring  up  are  all  one.— Richard  A.  Proctor  : 
Notes  on  Americanisms,  in  Knowledge. 

A  good  story  appeared  in  B/ackwood  some  years  ago,  wherein  it  is  related 
that  Mrs.  Christie,  an  American  lady,  had  sent  some  fine  old  rye  whiskey  to 
an  Englishman,  who,  unconscious  of  the  pun,  said  to  a  travelling  companioti, 
an  American,  "This  cannot  be  called  Lachrymse  Christi :  suppose  we  call  it 
Smiles  of  Christ !"  "  Good  !"  said  the  American :  "  I  see  you  are  learning  our 
language." 

There  is  a  curious  Americanism,  "  I  should  smile,"  probably  a  descendant  of 


loi6  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

such  phrases  as  "  I  should  think  !"  the  subject  of  the  thought  being  so 
obvious  as  to  be  left  to  the  imagination  of  the  hearer.  The  American  phrase 
expresses  wonder,  surprise,  pleasure,  or  disbelief: 

We  asked  Joe  Capp  the  other  day. 

And  asked  it  without  guile, 
"  If  asked  to  drink,  what  would  you  say?" 

He  answered,  "  1  should  smile." 

Smoky  City,  a  name  given  to  Pittsburg,  in  consequence  of  the  universal 
use  of  bituminous  coal  in  its  numerous  manufactories  creating  a  dense  black 
smoke  with  which  the  air  of  the  city  is  filled.  White  shirt-fronts  and  clean 
faces  are  impossibilities,  and  the  buildings  of  the  entire  city  have  a  smoky, 
sooty  appearance. 

Sneezing.  In  October,  1890,  an  American  citizen,  Mr.  Joseph  Jonassen 
of  New  York,  was  arrested  in  Berlin  for  wickedly,  feloniously,  and  treason- 
ably avowing  a  willingness  to  sneeze  at  the  German  Emperor.  "  I  sneeze  at 
your  Emperor  !"  he  cried  out  in  a  public  restaurant  to  a  native  who  did  not 
appreciate  American  institutions.  He  did  not  attempt  to  put  his  hideous 
project  into  execution,  so  he  was  dismissed  with  a  reprimand  and  a  warning. 

And  yet  sneezing  is  an  operation  that  has  been  treated  with  the  greatest 
respect  and  veneration  from  a  remote  antiquity,  that  has  commanded  the 
profoundest  thought  and  the  deepest  research  of  the  philosophers  of  old,  and 
that  to-day  in  many  countries,  as  formerly  in  all  countries,  is  greeted  with  a 
special  salute. 

Thus,  the  old  Greeks  cried,  "Jove  preserve  thee  !"  and  the  old  Romans 
had  a  variety  of  felicitations  for  the  successful  sneezer.  "  Sit  faustum  ac 
felix,"  he  might  be  told,  or  "  Sit  salutiferum,"  or  "  Servet  te  Deus,"  or  "  Bene 
vertat  Deus."  In  modern  Italy  he  is  greeted  with  "  Feliciti  ;"  in  France,  with 
"  Uieu  vous  benisse,"  or  "  Bonne  same  ;"  in  Germany,  with  "  Gesundheit ;"  in 
Ireland,  in  Scotland,  and  in  Sweden,  with  "  Bless  you,"  or  "  God  bless  you." 

A  similar  custom  existed  in  Africa,  among  nations  unknown  to  the  Greeks 
and  Romans.  A  Persian  precept  is  thus  recorded  in  the  Zend-Avesta: 
"  And  whensoever  it  be  that  thou  hearest  a  sneeze  given  by  thy  neighbor, 
thou  shalt  say  unto  him,  'Ahunovar,'  and  '  Ashim  Vuhu,'  and  so  shall  it  be 
well  with  thee."  Even  in  the  New  World  the  practice  seemed  to  prevail, 
for  when,  in  1542,  Hernando  de  Soto  met  the  cacique  Guachoya,  every  time 
the  latter  sneezed  his  followers  lifted  their  arms  in  the  air,  with  cries  of  "  May 
the  sun  guard  you  !" 

An  ancient  rabbinical  tradition  asserts  that  from  the  time  of  Adam  to 
Jacob  sneezing  was  the  sign  of  death.  But  Jacob  got  to  pondering  over  the 
subject,  and  finally  went  in  prayer  to  the  Lord  for  a  repeal  of  the  law,  and 
was  so  successful  in  his  petition  that  the  phenomenon  of  sneezing  instantly 
turned  a  complete  summersault,  went  from  Omega  heels  over  head  to  Alpha, 
and,  ceasing  to  be  the  sign  of  death,  became  the  infallible  sign  of  life. 

After  Jacob's  day,  whenever  children  came  into  the  world  they  announced 
their  arrival  by  sneezing.  Hence  the  salutation  first  began  as  a  grateful 
acknowledgment. 

It  will  be  remembered  that  when  the  son  of  the  Shunammite  was  recalled 
to  life  by  the  power  of  Elisha  the  prophet,  "the  child  sneezed  seven  times, 
and  the  child  opened  his  eyes." 

Classic  tradition,  too,  had  its  explanation  of  the  custom.  When  Prome- 
theus stole  fire  from  heaven  to  animate  his  clay  statue,  the  first  sign  of  life 
which  the  latter  betrayed  was  to  bob  his  head  up  and  down  and  emit  a  for- 
midable sneeze,  whereupon  Prometheus  cried  out  in  delight,  "  May  Jove  pre* 
serve  thee !" 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  I017 

Some  Eastern  nations  have  an  entirely  different  version,  to  the  effect  that 
one  of  the  judges  in  the  ever-burning  pit  of  fire  has  a  register  of  men's  lives. 
Every  day  he  turns  a  page,  and  those  whose  names  appear  are  the  next  to 
seek  his  domain.  As  the  leaf  is  turned  they  all  sneeze,  and  those  hearing  it 
invoke  a  blessing  on  their  future. 

Polydore  Virgil  finds  still  another  origin  for  the  custom.  In  the  time  of 
Gregory  the  Great,  he  says,  there  prevailed  in  Italy  an  epidemic  which  car- 
ried off  its  victims  by  sneezing  ;  whereupon  the  pontiff  ordered  prayers  to  be 
offered  up  against  it,  accompanied  by  certain  signs  of  the  cross. 

But,  unfortunately  for  this  theory,  the  salutation  antedates  Pope  Gregory 
the  Great. 

Among  the  Greeks  and  Romans  sneezing  was  usually  looked  upon  as  a 
very  favorable  omen. 

To  Penelope  the  sneeze  of  her  son  Telemachus  promised  the  safe  return 
of  Ulysses.  To  Parthenos,  who  sneezed  in  the  middle  of  her  letter  to  Sar- 
pedon,  it  supplied  the  place  of  an  answer. 

Xenophon  tells  of  a  sneeze  which  may  be  said  to  have  decided  the  fate  of 
himself,  of  his  army,  and  perhaps  of  Athens  itself.  While  he  was  exhorting 
his  soldiers  to  courage  and  fortitude,  and  while  their  minds  were  still  waver- 
ing between  resistance  and  surrender  to  the  enemy,  a  soldier  sneezed.  The 
whole  army,  instantly  convinced  that  the  gods  had  used  their  comrade's  nose 
as  a  trumpet  to  communicate  an  oracle  to  them,  were  seized  with  a  sudden 
inspiration,  and,  burning  their  carriages  and  tents,  prepared  to  face  the  perils 
of  the  celebrated  Retreat. 

Plutarch  says  that  Socrates  owed  his  proverbial  wisdom  to  nothing  in 
the  world  but  the  sneezes  by  which  his  familiar  genius  sent  him  charitable 
warnings. 

At  Rome  it  was  commonly  believed  that  Cupid  sneezed  whenever  a  beau- 
tiful girl  was  born  (he  must  have  a  perpetual  cold  in  the  head  in  America), 
and  the  most  acceptable  compliment  a  fast  fellow  of  the  Tiber  could  lisp  and 
drawl  to  his  lady-love  was,  "  Sternuit  tibi  Amor  !"  ("  Love  has  sneezed  for 
you  !") 

Even  the  ferocious  Tiberius  lost  some  of  his  habitual  ferocity  when  the 
gods  favored  him  with  a  sneeze.  At  such  times  he  would  drive  about  the 
streets  of  Rome  to  receive  the  felicitations  of  his  delighted  subjects. 

Nevertheless,  the  augury  was  not  always  a  favorable  one.  Instances  are 
not  wanting  in  Greece  and  in  Rome  where  a  sneeze  created  alarm  instead  of 
rejoicing. 

As  Timotheus  was  sailing  out  of  the  Athenian  port,  he  happened  to  emit  a 
prolonged  and  resounding  sneeze.  The  whole  fleet  heard  it.  The  sailors 
rose  as  one  man  and  clamored  to  return.  Luckily,  Timotheus  was  a  man  of 
great  presence  of  mind. 

"And  do  you  marvel,  O  Athenians,"  he  cried,  "that  among  ten  thousand 
there  is  one  whose  head  is  moist  ?  How  ye  would  bawl  were  all  of  us  so 
afflicted  !" 

Thereupon  their  confidence  returned,  and  they  sailed  out  to  victory. 

The  virtue  of  sneezing,  it  seems,  depends  much  upon  time  and  place. 
Sneezing  from  morn  till  noon  is  of  good  augury,  says  Aristotle,  but  from 
noon  to  night  the  reverse.  And  yet  St.  Augustine  tells  us  that  if  on  rising  in 
the  morning  any  of  the  ancients  happened  to  sneeze  while  putting  on  their 
shoes,  they  immediately  returned  to  bed  in  order  that  they  might  rise  more 
auspiciously.  So,  if  the  Hindoo,  while  performing  his  morning  ablutions  in 
the  Ganges,  should  sneeze  before  finishing  his  prayers,  he  immediately  begins 
them  over  again. 

There  is  a  Scotch  superstition  that  one  sneeze  is  lucky  and  two  are  un- 


Ioi8  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

lucky,  and  in  England  it  is  believed  that  if  any  one  sneeze  for  three  nights  in 
succession,  some  one  will  die  in  the  house.  According  to  Lancashire  folk- 
lore, you  must  be  very  careful  upon  what  day  of  the  week  you  allow  yourself 
the  luxury  of  sternutation  : 

Sneeze  on  a  Monday,  you  sneeze  for  danger ; 

Sneeze  on  a  Tuesday,  you  kiss  a  stranger  ; 

Sneeze  on  a  Wednesday,  you  sneeze  for  a  letter ; 

Sneeze  on  a  Thursday  for  something  better  ; 

Sneeze  on  a  Friday,  you'll  sneeze  for  sorrow  ; 

Sneeze  on  a  Saturday,  see  your  sweetheart  to-morrow; 

Sneeze  on  a  Sunday,  your  safety  seek. 

The  devil  will  have  you  the  rest  of  the  week  ! 

A  most  remarkable  custom,  if  we  are  to  credit  Helvetius,  was  that  which 
prevailed  at  the  court  of  Monomotapa.  Whenever  His  Most  Sacred  Majesty 
happened  to  sneeze,  every  person  present  was  obliged  to  imitate  the  royal 
example. 

And  this  before  the  days  of  nostril-titillating  snuff! 

Nor  was  this  all.  The  servants  of  the  royal  household  were  obliged  to 
take  up  the  sneeze  and  pass  it  on  to  the  stranger  without  the  gates,  and  he  to 
all  others,  until  sneeze  followed  sneeze  from  the  foot  of  the  throne  to  the 
uttermost  frontiers  of  the  kingdom. 

Snow  King,  Gustavus  Adolphus,  King  of  Sweden  (reigned  1611-1632). 
At  Vienna  he  was  called,  in  derision,  "The  Snow  King,"  who  was  kept  to- 
gether by  the  cold,  but  would  melt  and  disappear  as  he  approached  a  warmer 
soil  (Crichton  :  Scandinavia,  vol.  ii.  p.  64). 

SnuflF,  Up  to,  a  phrase  applied  to  a  person  of  great  acuteness  and  percep- 
tion, probably  has  nothing  to  do  with  snuff  in  the  sense  of  tobacco,  but  harks 
back  to  the  German  word  schnuffebi,  to  "  smell"  (Teutonic  and  Dutch  snuffen), 
which  is  the  etymological  root  of  snuff  (tobacco)  also.  It  originally  indicated 
one  quick  in  smelling  or  scenting  a  thing, — figuratively,  quick  to  discern  or 
scent  out  the  true  meaning  of  a  speech  or  person.  •'  He  smells  a  rat,"  "  He 
scents  it  out,"  "  He  is  on  the  right  scent,"  are  analogous  expressions.  So 
Martial,  in  his  epigram  on  Caecilius  (Book  cxlii.,  line  18)  : 

Non  cuicumque  datum  est  habere  nasum. 

The  wild  asses  mentioned  by  Jeremiah,  that  snuffed  up  the  wind,  are  by 
that  expression  made  types  of  alertness  and  quick  discernment.  It  is  worthy 
of  note  that  M.  Francisque  Michel,  in  his  "  fitudes  de  la  Philologie  comparee 
sur  I'Argot,"  to  which  is  appended  a  vocabulary  of  English  slang,  translates 
"up  to  snuff"  as  "haut  au  tabac."  He  defines  it  aright  as  "eveille,  qui  est 
au  fait." 

Queer  start,  that  'ere,  but  he  was  one  too  many  for  you,  wam't  he?  Up  to  snuff,  and  a 
pinch  or  two  over. — Dickens  :  Pickwick  Papers. 

Soap.  During  the  Presidential  campaign  of  1880  the  word  "soap"  was 
used  by  the  Republican  managers  in  their  despatches  as  a  cipher  for  money. 
It  was  employed  in  1884  as  a  derisive  war-cry  against  them  by  their  oppo- 
nents. A  curious  fact  in  this  connection  is  mentioned  by  Brewer.  At 
Queretaro  and  other  towns  near  the  city  of  Mexico  there  is  a  peculiar  cur- 
rency, consisting  of  small  cakes  of  soap.  Their  value  is  about  one  cent  and 
a  half.  Each  cake  is  stamped  with  the  naine  of  the  town  where  it  is  current, 
and  of  the  person  authorized  to  manufacture  and  utter  it.  Its  currency  is 
strictly  local.  Celaya  soap  will  not  pass  in  Queretaro,  and  vice  versa.  Often 
the  cake  is  used  for  washing,  but  it  never  loses  its  currency  value  so  long  as 
the  stamp  is  preserved.     One  would  like  to  know  Mr.  Brewer's  authority. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1019 

Soap,  as  slang  for  money,  came  in  vogue  in  England  some  twenty  years 
ago.  "  How  are  you  off  for  soap  ?"  was  the  question  introductory  to  an  ap- 
plication for  a  pecuniary  favor. 

In  1793  the  insurgent  washerwomen  paraded  about  Paris,  crying,  "Bread 
and  soap  !"  "  A  deputation  petitioned  the  Convention  for  soap,  and  their 
plaintive  cry  was  heard  around  the  Salle  de  Manege, '  Uu  pain  et  du  savon  !'  " 
(Carlvle:  French  Revolution,  Part  III.,  Book  iii.,  chap,  i.) 

Soapy  Sam,  a  nickname  applied  to  Bishop  Samuel  Wilberforce.  Lord 
Houghton  explains  that  the  students  of  Cuddesdon  College,  wishing,  on  some 
festive  occasion,  to  celebrate  both  the  bishop  and  their  principal,  Alfred  Pott, 
placed  on  one  pillar  the  initials  S.  O.  (Samuel,  Oxford,  the  name  of  the 
bishop's  see)  and  on  another  A.  P. 

The  combination  was  taken  up  in  a  satiric  spirit,  and  the  bishop  himself 
said  it  was  owing  to  the  unfortunate  alliteration  with  his  Christian  name.  It 
is  said  that  a  little  girl  once  asked  him  in  the  presence  of  company,  "Why 
does  every  one  call  you  Soapy  Sam  .-"'  to  which  he  replied,  after  a  glance 
around  the  room,  "I  will  tell  you,  my  darling.  People  call  me  'Soapy  Sam' 
because  I'm  always  in  hot  water  and  always  come  out  with  my  hands  clean." 

Recently  two  correspondents  of  Notes  and  Queries  have  denied  Lord  Hough- 
ton's explanation  of  the  sobriquet.     They  say, — 

The  sobriquet  of  "  Soapy  Sam,"  given  to  the  late  Bishop  Wilberforce,  most  certainly  did 
not  have  its  origin  in  the  combination  of  his  own  initials,  S.  O.  (Sam.  Oxon.),  with  those  of 
the  Principal  of  Cuddesdon,  A.  P.  (Alfred  Pott,  not  Potts),  but  was  certainly  anterior  to  the 
somewhat  unfortunate  juxtaposition  of  those  letters  in  the  chapel  of  that  college.  A  friend 
of  mine  was  present  on  the  occasion  alluded  to,  and  I  have  heard  him  tell  how  dismayed  he 
was  when,  on  reaching  the  east  end  of  the  chapel,  and  turning  round  to  survey  the  building, 
he  descried  the  unhappy  letters  S.  O.  A.  P.  in  floral  decorations  above  the  stalls  of  the  bishop 
and  of  the  principal  respectively,  at  the  west  end.  "  An  enemy,"  he  exclaimed,  "  hath  done 
this."     But  it  was  too  late  then  to  alter  it. — Edmund  Venables. 

I  have  always  understood  that  the  coincidence  of  the  combined  initials  S.  O.  and  A.  P. 
suddenly  struck  with  consternation  the  spectators  on  the  occasion  of  a  festivity  at  Cuddesdon 
which  the  bishop  was  to  attend,  and  when  there  was  not  time  to  alter  the  floral  arrangement, 
as  his  lordship  was  momentarily  expected.  This  must  have  been  after  the  sobriquet  was 
applied,  or  there  would  have  been  no  such  cause  for  disturbance. — C.  H. 

Solid  South,  a  phrase  which  had  a  limited  vogue  before  the  war,  in  the 
usage  of  Southern  orators,  to  designate  the  unity  of  interest  and  purpose  of 
the  Southern  States.  It  obtained  general  currency,  however,  only  after  the 
period  of  reconstruction.  On  the  overthrow  of  the  carpet-bag  and  negro 
governments  in  those  States,  the  white  population,  having  gained  control, 
found  it  to  their  interest  to  act  in  politics  with  the  Democratic  party  against 
the  Republicans,  who  had  encouraged  and  sustained  the  carpet-bag  rule. 
The  first  occurrence  of  the  phrase  in  the  modern  sense  may  be  traced  back 
to  circa  1868.  It  is  believed  to  have  been  originally  used  in  the  lobbies  at 
Washington,  whence  it  soon  found  its  way  into  the  newspapers.  The  per- 
sistent solidarity  of  action  of  the  Southern  States  with  the  Democratic  party, 
and  the  consequent  irritation  and  hostility  of  the  Northern  and  Republican 
press  and  politicians,  found  expression  in  it  as  a  term  of  reproach,  and 
the  phenomenon  was  cited  as  a  proof  of  the  continuance  in  that  section 
of  the  old  spirit  of  hostility  to  the  Union  which  resulted  in  secession.  Its 
occurrence  in  recent  years  is  considerably  less  frequent  than  formerly,  and 
•  the  signs  of  disintegration  of  the  South  as  a  political  unit,  possibly  in  the 
near  future,  have  placed  its  continued  vituperative  use  among  the  cant  phrases 
of  "  buncombe." 

Solitary  monk.  Robert  Montgomery,  in  his  poem  of  "  Luther,"  charac- 
terizes his  hero  as  follows  : 


I020  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

The  solitary  monk  who  shook  the  world 
From  pagan  slumber,  when  the  gospel  trump 
Thundered  its  challenge  from  his  dauntless  lips 
In  peals  of  truth. 

The  first  line  of  the  above,  divorced  from  the  context,  has  passed  into  a 
popular  quotation.  Montgomery  is  ref)orted  to  have  said  that  he  was  vyilling 
to  rest  his  hopes  of  literary  immortality  upon  that  line  alone.  Yet  it  has 
been  justly  objected  that  at  the  only  time  in  Luther's  life  when  he  can  be  said 
to  have  been  solitary — at  his  so-called  "  Patmos,"  the  Castle  of  VVartburg— 
he  had  ceased  to  be  a  monk.  A  cognate  but  far  greater  expression  is  Emer- 
son's 

And  fired  the  shot  heard  round  the  world. 

Sorrow's  crown  of  sorrow.  The  following  allusion  in  Tennyson's 
"  Locksley  Hall," 

This  is  truth  the  poet  sings. 
That  a  sorrow's  crown  of  sorrow  is  remembering  happier  things, 

is,  of  course,  to  Dante's  famous  passage  in  the  "Divina  Commedia"  {Inferno, 
Canto  v.,  1.  121),— 

Nessun  maggior  dolore 
Che  ricordarsi  del  tempo  felice 
Nella  miseria, — 

which  Longfellow  thus  translates  : 

There  is  no  greater  sorrow 
Than  to  be  mindful  of  the  happy  time 
In  misery. 

Chaucer  also  had  Dante  in  mind  when  he  wrote, — 

For,  of  Fortunes  sharpe  adversite 
The  worste  kynde  of  infortune  is  this, — 
A  man  to  have  ben  in  prosperite. 
And  it  remembren,  when  it  passed  is. 

Troilus  and  Creseide,  Book  iii.,  1.  1625. 

The  original  of  the  sentiment  is  in  Boethius  "De  Consolatione  Philoso- 
phic," Book  ii.  :  "  In  omni  adversitate  fortunae  infelicissimum  genus  infortunii 
est  fuisse  felicem  et  non  esse"  ("  In  every  adversity  of  fortune  the  most  un- 
happy kind  of  misfortune  is  to  have  been  and  not  to  be  happy").  Boethius 
"De  Consolatione"  and  Cicero  "De  Amicitia"  were  the  first  two  books  that 
engaged  the  attention  of  Dante,  as  he  himself  tells  us  in  the  "Convito." 
Cicero  approximated  very  closely  to  the  phrase  when  he  wrote  to  Atticus  from 
his  exile  in  Thessalonica,  in  58  B.C.,  "  While  all  other  sorrows  are  mellowed 
by  age,  this  [exile]  can  only  grow  keener  day  by  day,  as  one  thinks  of  the 
present,  and  looks  back  on  the  days  that  are  passed." 

Robert  Pollok  has  the  converse  of  the  proposition  in  his  well-known  line,— 
Sorrows  remembered  sweeten  present  joy. 

Tke  Course  0/  Time,  Book  i.,  1.  464. 

A  diligent  correspondent  of  the  American  Notes  and  Queries  furnishes  the 
following  additional  examples  : 

Forget  the  dead,  the  past?     O  yet 

There  are  ghosts  that  may  take  revenge  for  it : 

Memories  that  make  the  heart  a  tomb. 

Regrets  which  glide  through  the  spirit's  gloom. 

And  with  ghastly  whispers  tell 

That  joy,  once  lost,  is  pain. 

Percy  Bysshe  Shelley  :   The  Past. 

Remembrance  wakes,  with  all  her  busy  train. 
Swells  at  my  breast,  and  turns  the  past  to  pain. 

Goldsmith  :   'J he  Deserted  Village. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  I021 

O  Memory,  thou  fond  deceiver. 

Still  importunate  and  vain, 
To  former  joys  recurring  ever. 
And  turning  all  the  past  to  pain  ! 

Goldsmith  :  Song. 
Past  joys  enhance  the  present  pain. 
And  sad  remembrance  is  our  bane. 

Cervantes  :  Don  Quixote. 

But  ah  !  what  serves  to  have  been  happy  so  ? 
Little  past  pleasures  double  but  new  woe. 

Drommond  of  Hawthornden. 

Oh,  I  would  fain  forget  them  all ; 

Remembered  gude  but  deepens  ill, 
As  glints  of  light  far  seen  by  night 

Mak'  the  near  mirk  but  mirker  still. 

Thomas  Davidson  :   The  Auld  Ash-Tree. 

But  were  there  ever  any 
Writhed  not  at  past  joy? 

Keats:  Stanzas :  In  Drear  December. 
In  vain  does  memory  renew 

The  hours  once  tinged  in  transport's  dye  : 
The  sad  reverse  soon  starts  to  view. 
And  turns  the  past  to  agony. 

Mrs.  Dugald  Stewart  :   The  Tear  I  Shed. 

Queen  Margaret.  Having  no  more  but  thought  of  what  thou  wert. 

To  torture  thee  the  more,  being  what  thou  art. 
Queen  Elizabeth.  O  thou,  well  skilled  in  curses,  stay  awhile. 
And  teach  me  how  to  curse  mine  enemies. 
Queen  Margaret.  Compare  dead  happiness  with  living  woe. 

Shakespeare  :  Richard  III.,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  4. 
There  too  the  memory  of  delights. 
Mingled  in  tears,  returned  again. 
Sweet  social  days  and  pleasant  nights. 
Warm  as  ere  yet  they  turned  to  pain. 
And  all  their  music  fled,  and  all  their  love  was  vain. 

Camoens  :  Paraphrase  of  the  J37th  Psalm. 
Misfortune,  like  a  creditor  severe, 
But  rises  in  demand  for  her  delay. 
She  makes  a  scourge  of  past  prosperity 
To  sting  the  more  and  double  thy  distress. 
Revolted  joys,  like  foes  in  civil  war. 
Like  bosom  friendships  to  resentments  scourged. 
With  rage  envenomed,  rise  against  our  peace. 

Young  :  Night  Thoughts,  Night  I. 
There  is  no  greater  misery  than  to  remember  joy  when  in  grief. 

Marino  :  Adone,  Canto  xiv..  Stanza  100. 
To  remember  a  lost  joy  makes  the  present  state  so  much  the  worse. 

Fortiguerra  :  Ricciardetto,  Canto  xi..  Stanza  83. 
Present  sorrow  brings  back  and  increases  the  memory  of  the  joy  we  have  lost. 

St.  Damian  :  Hymn,  De  Gloria  Paradisi. 

Soul's  dark  cottage.     A  famous  figure  occurs  in  Waller : 

The  soul's  dark  cottage,  battered  and  decayed. 

Lets  in  new  light  through  chinks  that  Time  has  made. 

Stronger  by  weakness,  wiser  men  become 

As  they  draw  near  to  their  eternal  home  : 

Leaving  the  old,  both  worlds  at  once  they  view 

That  stand  upon  the  threshold  of  the  new. 

On  the  Divine  Poems. 
This  may  be  numerously  paralleled  in  contemporary  and  succeeding  writers 
The  incessant  care  and  labor  of  his  mind 
Hath  wrought  the  mure  that  should  confine  it  in 
So  thin  that  life  looks  through  and  will  break  out. 

Henry  IV.,  Part  II.,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  4. 
86 


I02  2  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

A  fiery  soul,  which,  working  out  its  way, 
Fretted  the  pygmy  body  to  decay. 
And  o'er-informed  the  tenement  of  clay. 

Dryden  ;  Atsalont  and  Achitophel ,  Part  i.,  1.  156. 

Drawing  near  her  death,  she  sent  most  pious  thoughts  as  harbingers  to  heaven;  and  her 
soul  saw  a  glimpse  of  happiness  through  the  chinks  of  her  sickness-broken  body. — Fuller: 
Life  0/  Monica. 

He  was  one  of  a  lean  body  and  visage,  as  if  his  eager  soul,  biting  for  anger  at  the  clog  of 
his  body,  desired  to  fret  a  passage  through  it. — Fuller  :  Life  0/  the  Duke  0/  Alva. 

When  our  earthly  tabernacles  are  disordered  and  desolate,  shaken  and  out  of  repair,  the 
spirit  delights  to  dwell  within  them ;  as  houses  are  said  to  be  haunted  when  they  are  forsaken 
and  gone  to  decay. — Swift. 

Soup,  In  the,  a  slang  phrase  which  first  made  its  appearance  in  colloquial 
Anierican-English  about  1887.  In  meaning  it  is  closely  akin  to  the  slang  ex- 
pression "to  get  left." 

In  Germany,  "in  die  Suppe  fallen"  (literally,  "to  fall  in  the  soup"),  and  "  Er 
ist  in  die  Suppe"  ("  He  is  in  the  soup"),  are  time-honored  proverbial  expressions 
for  being  in  a  pickle  or  stuck  in  the  mud.  Similar  German  phrases  are  "die 
Suppe  ausessen  miissen"  {"  to  be  obliged  to  eat  the  soup  or  broth  one  has  pre- 
pared for  one's  self," — i.e.,  "  to  suffer  disagreeable  consequences  of  one's  unwise 
action")  and  "  die  Suppe  versalzen"  (literally,  "  to  salt  one's  soup," — i.e.,  "  to 
prepare  a  disappointment  for  one'").  So  also  "eine  bose  Suppe  einbrocken" 
\einbrocken  denotes  the  act  of  breaking  bread  into  the  soup,  and  the  whole 
phrase  may  be  translated,  "  to  prepare  a  disagreeable  mess")  has  a  meaning 
cognate  to  the  English  proverbialism  "to  put  a  rod  in  pickle"  for  one. 

It  is  quite  possible,  therefore,  that  the  phrase  is  of  German-American 
origin. 

The  German  etymon  is  not  incompatible  with  the  story  given  in  the  Even- 
ing Post,  December  8,  18S8,  according  to  which  a  party  of  toughs  went  down 
New  York  Harbor  on  a  tug  to  welcome  a  notorious  prize-fighter  who  was 
expected  to  arrive  from  Europe.  The  captain  of  the  steamer  refused  to 
allow  the  undesirable  boat-load  to  come  very  close  to  his  vessel,  and  one 
enthusiast,  in  his  vociferous  efforts  to  get  near  the  object  of  his  admiration, 
fell  over  the  rail  of  the  tug  into  the  water.  It  was  near  dark,  and  naturally 
great  excitement  prevailed,  which  being  noticed  from  the  steamer,  the  boat 
was  hailed  to  find  out  what  had  happened.  "  Oh,  nothing  much,"  replied  a 
tough  (who  might  have  been  a  German- American),  sententiously  :  "  somebody's 
in  de  soup."     The  phrase  was  caught  up  and  immediately  became  popular. 

Spade.  To  call  a  spade  a  spade.  This  phrase,  meaning  to  indulge  in 
plain  speech,  to  be  rudely  or  indelicately  frank,  is  of  very  ancient  date  and  of 
Grecian  birth.  Lucian  in  his  dialogue  "  Quomodo  Historia  sit  conscribenda" 
quotes  from  Aristophanes  the  saying  ru.  avKa  avKa,  rrjv  aKCKprjv  de  aKa<pTfv  ovo/id- 
^uv  ("  Figs  they  call  figs,  and  a  spade  a  spade").  This  finds  a  place  among 
the  royal  apothegms  collected  by  Plutarch  as  having  been  made  use  of  by 
Philip  of  Macedon  in  answer  to  Lasthenes,  the  Olynthian  ambassador,  who 
complained  that  the  citizens,  on  his  way  to  the  palace,  called  him  a  traitor. 
"  Ay,"  quoth  the  king,  "  these  Macedonians  are  a  blunt  people,  who  call 
figs  figs,  and  a  spade  a  spade."  Philip,  of  course,  was  merely  quoting  the 
current  locution. 

I  drink  no  wine  at  all,  which  so  much  improves  our  modem  wits;  a  loose,  plain,  blunt, 
iiide  writer,  I  call  a  spade  a  spade;  I  respect  matter,  not  words. — Burton:  Anatomy  0/ 
Melancholy,  Preface. 

Spain,  a  sobriquet  for  New  Jersey  which  originated  thus.  After  the  down- 
fall of  Napoleon,  his  brother  Joseph,  ex-king  of  Spain,  fled  to  America.  It 
took  some  time  for  him  to  decide  where  he  should  settle  :  indeed,  Providence 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1023 

or  the  American  legislatures  (not  then  so  long  a  remove  from  Providence 
as  they  are  to-day)  so  disposed  it  that  this  man's  proposal  was  repeatedly 
baffled.  The  common-law  rules  against  the  holding  of  property  by  an  alien 
were  in  force  in  all  the  new  States,  and,  after  knocking  vainly  at  various  legis- 
lative doors,  Joseph  was  fain  to  turn  to  New  Jersey,  where,  on  January  22, 
181 7,  a  general  act  was  passed  "  to  authorize  aliens  to  purchase  and  hold  lands 
in  this  State."  It  is  not  true,  as  generally  supposed,  that  this  act  was  framed 
with  special  reference  to  the  Bonaparte  case,  although  it  did  render  unneces- 
sary the  consideration  of  a  special  act  proposed  for  the  same  session  of  the 
legislature  by  Joseph's  friends,  and  although  there  is  no  doubt  that  the  final 
vote  was  influenced  by  the  knowledge  that  an  ex-king  had  already  concluded 
arrangements  for  the  purchase  of  one  thousand  acres  at  Point  Breeze,  near 
Bordentown.  Here  a  magnificent  park  was  laid  out,  entertainments  were 
provided  on  a  lavish  scale,  and  something  of  royal  state  was  kept  up,  so  that 
the  envious  neighbors  began  to  find  it  droll  to  talk  of  New  Jersey  as  out  of 
the  Union  and  a  portion  of  Spain. 

Spare  the  rod  and  spoil  the  child,  a  popular  misquotation  from 
Proverbs  xiii.  24  :  "  He  that  spareth  his  rod  hateth  his  son."  Its  first  ap- 
pearance in  this  form  in  literature  seems  to  be  in  Ralph  Venning's  "  Mysteries 
and  Revelations,"  second  edition  (1649,  p.  5)  :  "They  spare  the  rod  and  spoil 
the  child."     But  John  Skelton  had  already  said, — 

There  is  nothynge  that  more  dyspleaseth  God 
Than  from  their  children  to  spare  the  rod. 

Magny/ycence ,  1.  1954. 

Butler  has 

Love  is  a  boy  by  poets  styled  ; 

Then  spare  the  rod  and  spoil  the  child. 

Hudibras,  Part  ii.,  Canto  i. 

In  his  later  life  Louis  XIV.,  realizing  how  his  youth  had  been  misspent, 
pertinently  asked,  "  Was  ther-e  not  birch  enough  in  the  Forest  of  Fontaine- 
bleau  ?"  Diogenes,  according  to  Burton,  "struck  the  father  when  the  son 
swore."  (Anatomy  of  Melancholy,  Part  iii.,  Sect.  2,  Menib.  2,  Subs.  4.) 

Spealr  daggers.     Hainlet's  phrase  h  propos  of  his  mother, — 


was  imitated  by  Bismarck  when  he  said,  "  Better  pointed  bullets  than  pointed 
speeches". ("  Lieber  Spitzkugeln  als  Spitzreden").  Bismarck  made  this  speech 
in  1850,  the  occasion  being  an  insurrection  of  the  people  of  Hesse-Cassel. 

Speech  was  given  to  man  to  conceal  his  thoughts.  None  of  Tal- 
leyrand's mots  is  more  famous  than  this.  It  is  true  that  even  in  its  final  form 
this  was  not  Talleyrand's,  for  Harel,  the  famous  fabricator  of  mots,  has  con- 
fessed that  he  himself  put  the  phrase  into  Talleyrand's  mouth  in  order  to 
claim  it  as  his  own  after  the  death  of  the  diplomatist.  Whether  Talleyrand's 
or  Harel's,  it  is  undoubtedly  clever,  and  has  become  one  of  the  stock  quota- 
tions of  the  world.  But  it  is  easy  to  trace  the  idea  back  to  a  remote  antiquity. 
What  may  be  called  the  primordial  germ  may  be  found  in  several  forms  m 
the  classics.  Achilles,  for  example,  thus  voices  his  detestation  of  the  man 
whose  expressed  words  conceal  his  inmost  thoughts  : 

Who  dares  think  one  thing  and  another  tell, 

My  mind  detests  him  as  the  gates  of  hell. 

Here  there  is  no  attempt  at  an  epigram,  of  course,  but  there  is  a  general 
recognition  of  the  fact  that  the  speech  of  some  men  does  conceal  their 
thoughts.     So  Plutarch  said  of  the  Sophists  that  in  their  declamations  and 


I024  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

speeches  they  made  use  of  words  to  veil  and  muffle  their  design.  And 
Dionysius  Cato,  in  his  collection  of  moral  maxims,  comes  a  step  closer  to  the 
modern  saying  in  his  sententious  remark,  "  Sermo  hominum  mores  celat  et 
indicat  idem"  ("The  same  words  conceal  and  declare  the  thoughts  of  men"). 
When  we  come  down  to  modern  times  and  reach  Jeremy  Taylor  we  find  he 
had  the  sentiment  clearly  in  view  in  the  following  sentence:  "There  is  in 
mankind  an  universal  contract  implied  in  all  their  intercourses  ;  and  words 
being  instituted  to  declare  the  mind,  and  for  no  other  end,  he  that  hears  me 
speak  hath  a  right  in  justice  to  be  done  him,  that,  as  far  as  I  can,  what  I 
speak  be  true  ;  for  else  he,  by  words,  does  not  know  your  mind,  and  then  as 
good  and  better  not  speak  at  all."  Still  we  have  no  epigram,  no  paradox. 
David  Lloyd,  in  his  "  State  Worthies,"  comes  near  to  the  modern  phrase, 
but  misses  it  through  his  stupidly  downright  honesty  of  statement :  "  Speech 
was  made  to  open  man  to  man,  and  not  to  hide  him  ;  to  promote  commerce, 
and  not  betray  it."  He  comes  so  close  that  we  hold  our  breath  :  just  a  twist 
of  the  hand,  and  the  thing  would  be  done.  That  twist  is  supplied  by  Lloyd's 
contemporary,  the  wise  and  witty  Dr.  South  :  "  In  short,  this  seems  to  be  the 
true  inward  judgment  of  all  our  politick  sages,  that  speech  was  given  to  the 
ordinary  sort  of  men  whereby  to  communicate  their  mind,  but  to  wise  men 
whereby  to  conceal  it."  Butler  echoes  South  in  his  essay  on  "The  Modern 
Politician."  The  politician,  according  to  Butler,  thinks  that  "he  who  does 
not  make  his  words  rather  serve  to  conceal  than  discover  the  sense  of  his 
heart  deserves  to  have  it  pulled  out  like  a  traitor's  and  shown  publicly  to 
the  rabble."  Here  we  have  the  idea,  but  not  the  meet  and  quotable  wording. 
Almost  simultaneously  three  men,  two  in  England  and  one  in  France,  rushed 
to  the  breach.     Young  said, — 

Where  Nature's  end  of  language  is  declined, 
And  men  talk  only  to  conceal  the  mind, 

Love  of  Fame,  Sat.  ii.,  1.  207 ; 

Goldsmith,  "Men  who  know  the  world  hold  that  the  true  use  of  speech  is 
not  so  much  to  express  our  wants  as  to  conceal  them  ;"  and  Voltaire,  "  Men 
use  thought  as  authority  for  their  injustice,  and  employ  speech  only  to  con- 
ceal their  thoughts."  Talleyrand's  saying  borrows  just  as  much  from  Voltaire 
as  is  necessary  to  give  the  brevity  and  point  that  are  essential  to  a  proverb, 
and  hence  obtained  instant  currency. 

Spellbinders,— «>.,  speakers  who  hold,  or  think  they  hold,  their  hearers 
spellbound.  It  was  applied  by  William  C.  Goodloe,  a  member  of  the  Re- 
publican National  Committee,  to  the  stump-speakers  employed  by  them,  from 
their  invariable  habit  of  asserting  in  their  reports  that  their  speaking  held 
the  audiences  in  that  very  interesting  condition. 

Spelling,  Eccentricities  of.  "  To  be  a  well-favored  man,"  says  Dog- 
berry, "  is  the  gift  of  fortune  ;  but  to  write  and  read  comes  by  nature."  And 
what  literary  man  was  it  who  paraphrased  Dogberry's  words  by  saying  that 
sense  and  knowledge  come  by  experience  and  study,  but  the  power  to  spell 
correctly  is  the  direct  gift  of  God  .>  Many  other  authors  have  openly  ac- 
knowledged their  orthographical  imperfections  and  depended  upon  the  intel- 
ligent proof-reader  to  supply  the  missing  vowels  and  consonants  or  to  strike 
out  the  redundant.  Goethe  himself,  who  took  all  knowledge  for  his  province, 
was  fain  to  leave  spelling  as  a  terra  incognita.  Shakespeare,  not  to  speak  of 
what  others  did  for  him,  changed  his  own  mind  some  thirty  times  as  to  the 
letters  and  the  sequence  of  the  letters  composing  his  patronymic.  So,  at  least, 
Halliwell  tells  us  ;  and  it  is  quite  certain  that  the  two  genuine  signatures  that 
have  survived  differ  orthographically  from  each  other.  If  literary  men  were 
so  lax,  what  wonder  that  other  great  people  have  been  hazy  in  their  notions 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  T025 

of  what  posterity  would  expect  of  them  when  the  editor  of  the  Biographical 
Dictionary  should  be  called  upon  to  give  them  a  place  in  his  volume?  Lei- 
cester spelled  his  own  name  in  eight  different  ways.  Mainwaring  has  passed 
through  one  hundred  and  thirty-one  orthographical  permutations,  and  is  even 
now,  if  spelling  have  aught  to  do  with  pronunciation,  spelled  incorrectly  at  last. 
The  Young  Pretender,  with  no  intentional  irreverence,  but  only  by  dint  of 
allowing  his  pen  to  wander  at  its  own  sweet  will,  wrote  of  his  father  indiffer- 
ently as  Gems  or  Jems.  The  Father  of  his  Country  spelled  familiar  words 
in  one  way,  while  Lady  Washington  spelled  them  in  another,  and  neither 
managed  to  be  correct.  Lideed,  good  spelling  seems  formerly  to  have  been 
considered  a  vulgarity,  mere  yeoman's  service.  Will  Honeycomb,  when  taken 
to  task  for  his  orthographical  laxity,  declared  that  he  never  liked  pedantry  in 
spelling,  but  spelled  like  a  gentleman  and  not  like  a  scholar.  Napoleon  at  St. 
Helena  said  one  day  to  Las  Cases,  "  You  do  not  write  orthographically,  do 
you  ?  At  least,  I  suppose  you  do  not ;  for  a  man  occupied  with  public  or 
other  important  business — a  minister,  for  instance — cannot  and  need  not 
attend  to  orthography.  His  ideas  must  flow  faster  than  his  hand  can  trace 
them  ;  he  has  only  time  to  place  his  points  ;  he  must  put  words  in  letters, 
and  phrases  in  words,  and  let  the  scribes  make  it  out  afterwards." 
So  Hamlet  says, — 

I  once  did  hold  it,  as  our  statists  do, 

A  baseness  to  write  fair. 

It  is  said  that  the  French  nobles  of  the  ancien  regime  when  chosen  members 
of  the  French  Academy  took  pains  to  misspell  their  signatures  in  a  variety 
of  ways,  in  order  to  show  that  they  were  not  subject  to  the  rules  of  petty 
scholarship. 

The  old  Duchess  of  Gordon  was  a  great  lady,  and  she  sometimes  misspelled. 
Yet,  unlike  the  French  nobles,  she  was  not  proud  of  the  fact.  Indeed,  she  had 
a  little  subterfuge  to  conceal  her  deficiencies.  "You  know,  my  dear,"  she 
explained  to  one  of  her  cronies,  "  when  I  don't  know  how  to  spell  a  word  I 
always  draw  a  line  under  it,  and  if  it  is  spelled  wrong  it  passes  for  a  very 
good  joke,  and  if  it  is  spelled  right  it  doesn't  matter." 

In  the  English-speaking  races  there  is  a  ready  and  effective  excuse  for  mis- 
spelling. Orthographic  riddles  are  inherent  hi  the  nature  of  a  language 
which  is  nothing  but  an  irregular  and  fortuitous  agglutination  of  two  irregu- 
larities, the  Anglo-Saxon  and  the  Norman  French.  The  number  of  different 
combinations  of  letters  producing  one  sound  is  only  to  be  compared  with  that 
of  the  different  sounds  arising  from  the  same  combination  of  letters.  A 
gentleman  by  the  name  of  Wise  published  a  book  in  1869  showing  over  four 
thousand  different  ways  in  which  the  name  Shakespeare  could  be  spelled.  The 
indefatigable  Ellis  declared  that  there  were  six  thousand  different  combina- 
tions of  letters  which  would  indicate  the  one  word  scissors. 

On  the  other  hand,  the  phonetic  tricks  played  by  the  little  syllable  ongh  are 
the  despair  of  every  intelligent  foreigner.  There  is  the  story  of  the  Spaniard 
who  received  for  his  first  lesson  in  English  spelling  and  pronunciation  the 
mnemonic  lines, — 

Though  the  tough  cough  and  hiccough  plough  me  through. 
O'er  life's  dark  lough  my  way  I  still  pursue. 

Feeling  his  native  pride  wounded  and  his  natural  love  of  congruity  outraged 
by  such  an  assemblage  of  contradictions,  he  quitted  his  master  in  disgust,  and 
pursued  his  way  no  further  into  the  penetralia  of  our  language.  Nor  are  we 
ourselves  backward  in  acknowledging  the  disgrace  which  this  verbal  truant 
brings  upon  our  written  speech.  It  was  Dr.  Wayland,  of  Philadelphia,  who 
In  a  fine  vein  of  sarcasm  pertinently  asked,  "  What  does  this  s\>q\\,— Chough- 
ppp  86* 


1026  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

phtheightteeau .?"  Well,  said  the  doctor  in  answer  to  his  own  question,  according 
to  the  following  rule,  it  spells  potato.  Gh  stands  for  p,  as  in  the  last  letters 
of  hiccough  ;  ough  for  o,  as  in  dough  ;  phth  for  t,  as  in  phthisis  ;  eigh  stands 
for  a,  as  in  neighbor  ;  tte  stands  for  t,  as  in  gazette  ;  and  eau  stands  for  o,  as 
in  beau.     Thus  you  have  p-o-t-a-t-o. 

Another  well-deserved  rebuke  is  contained  in  the  following  poem,  which 
originally  appeared  in  the  columns  of  Wit  and  Wisdom : 

As  a  farmer  was  going  to  plough, 

He  met  a  man  driving  a  cough  ; 

They  had  words  which  led  to  a  rough. 

And  the  farmer  was  struck  on  his  brough. 

One  day  when  the  weather  was  rough. 
An  old  lady  went  out  for  some  snongh, 
Which  she  thoughtlessly  placed  in  her  mough. 
And  it  got  scattered  all  over  her  cough. 

While  a  baker  was  kneading  his  dough, 
A  weight  fell  down  on  his  tough. 
When  he  suddenly  exclaimed  ough  ! 
Because  it  had  hurt  him  sough. 

There  was  a  hole  in  a  hedge  to  get  through. 
It  was  made  by  no  one  knew  whough  ; 
In  getting  through  a  boy  lost  his  shough. 
And  was  quite  at  a  loss  what  to  dough. 

A  poor  old  man  had  a  bad  cough. 
To  a  doctor  he  straight  went  ough. 
The  doctor  did  nothing  but  scough. 
And  said  it  was  all  fancy,  his  cough. 

Puck  has  the  following  veiled  expostulation  against  the  system  which  makes 
Sioux  spell  sooz  : 

Adioux  among  the  Sioux. 

Now  trouble  brioux  among  the  Sioux, 

Because  the  whites  their  rights  abioux. 

The  sky  is  red  with  battle  hioux  ; 

Big  Injun,  squaw,  and  young  pappioux 

Are  on  the  war-path  by  the  slioux  ; 

They're  filling  up  with  fiery  bioux. 

They  swear  their  lands  they  will  not  lioux. 

Other  phonetic  eccentricities  are  hit  at  in  these  verses : 

An  old  couple  living  in  Gloucester 
Had  a  beautiful  girl,  but  they  loucester; 

She  fell  from  a  yacht. 

And  never  the  spacht 
Could  be  found  where  the  cold  waves  had  toucester. 

An  old  lady  living  in  Worcester 

Had  a  gift  of  a  handsome  young  rorcester; 

But  the  way  that  it  crough, 

As  'twould  never  get  through. 
Was  more  than  the  lady  was  uorcester. 

At  the  bar  in  the  old  inn  at  Leicester 

Was  a  beautiful  bar-maid  named  Heicester ; 

She  gave  to  each  guest 

Only  what  was  the  buest. 
And  they  all,  with  one  accord,  bleicester. 

In  the  following  the  rhyme  is  only  in  the  spelling  : 
Our  hired  man  named  Job 
Has  got  a  pleasant  job, 
The  meadow  grass  to  mow 
And  stow  it  in  the  mow. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1027 

At  work  he  takes  the  lead  ; 
He  does  not  fear  cold  lead, 
Nor  is  he  moved  to  tears 
When  he  his  clothing  tears  ! 

A  book  that  he  had  read 

He  handed  me  to  read  ; 

He  spends  much  time  in  reading 

When  at  his  home  in  Reading. 

In  the  following  exercise  on  cnv  the  odd  lines  rhyme  with  thou,  now,  the 
even  lines  with  though,  know.  (These  four  words  show  the  power  of  silent 
letters,  the  addition  thereof  changing  words  of  three  sounds  into  words  of 
two.) 

Ow. 

"  Now,  boys,"  the  farmer  said,  "  there'll  be  a  row     . 

If  you  upon  the  river  go  and  row 
When  we've  so  much  to  do.     The  Chester  sow 

Has  rooted  up  the  lawn  ;  therein  go  sow 
Some  clover-seed  ;  then  help  clear  out  the  mow. 

In  which  to  put  the  hay  that  we  shall  mow 
To-morrow  morn  ;  when  that  is  done,  I  'low 

You  may,  if  then  the  sun  is  not  too  low, 
Go  hunt  and  fish."     So  to  our  work  we  bow ; 

Which  done,  we're  off,  with  arrows,  rod,  and  bow. 

The  confusion  of  English  sounds  and  letters  was  well  illustrated  by  him  who 
spelled  coffee  without  one  correct  \Q\Xffc,—kauphy,—^&\.  spelled  it  phonetically, 
and,  more  than  that,  approximated  far  more  closely  to  its  original  form  than 
our  present  corruption.  In  1659  a  pamphlet  was  issued  "On  the  nature  of 
the  drink  kauhi." 

Madame  de  Stael  once  told  an  ill-favored  gentleman  that  he  abused  the 
masculine  privilege  of  ugliness.  In  the  same  way  it  is  possible  to  abuse  the 
Anglo-Saxon  privilege  of  misspelling.  General  Herkimer,  of  Revolutionary 
fame,  was  a  signal  instance.  There  is  an  autograph  letter  of  his  in  the 
library  of  the  Oneida  Historical  Society,  at  Utica,  New  York.  It  is  a  unique 
document,  and  sheds  so  suggestive  a  light  upon  the  character  of  the  education 
possessed  by  General  Herkimer,  and  upon  the  strange  and  mongrel  Dutch- 
English  language  which  was  in  current  use  in  the  Mohawk  Valley  during  the 
Revolution,  that  it  is  worth  quoting  : 

ser  yii  will  order  your  bodellgen  do  mercks  immiedeetleh  do  ford  eduard  wid  for  das  pro- 
fiesen  and  amonieschen  fied  for  an  betell.  dis  jfi  will  du  ben  yur  berrell  foram  frind  Nicolas 
herchkeimer  to  carnell  pieder  bellinger  ad  de  flats  ocdober  i8,  1776. 

An  expert  translates  this  curious  order  as  follows  :  "  Sir :  You  will  order 
your  battalion  to  march  immediately  to  Fort  Edward,  with  four  days'  pro- 
visions and  ammunition  fit  for  one  battle.  This  you  will  disobey  [at]  your 
peril.  From  [your]  friend,  Nicholas  Herkimer.  To  Colonel  Peter  Bellmger, 
at  the  flats."  The  order  is  written  in  a  bold  but  blind  hand,  with  no  punc- 
tuation-marks and  no  capital  letters  except  where  indicated  above. 

The  apparently  studied  felicity  of  the  following  seems  to  mark  them  out  as 
fabrications  : 

Sur  my  waif  is  dead  and  wants  to  be  berried  tomorro.  At  Wunor  klok.  U  nose  wair  to 
dig  the  Hole— bi  the  side  of  my  too  uther  waifs — Let  it  be  deep. 

As  you  are  a  man  of  noledge  I  intend  to  enter  my  son  in  your  skull. 

Cer.  Yole  oblige  me  uf  yole  kum  un  ce  me  1  hev  a  Bad  Kowd  am  Hill  in  my  Bow  Hills 
an  hev  lost  my  Happy  Tight. 

Yet  they  are  not  a  bit  happier  than  this,  which  the  Medical  News  gives  as  a 
genuine  letter  received  by  an  urban  physician  from  a  country  brother  : 

Dear  dock  I  hav  a  pashunt  whos  phisicol  sines  shoes  that  the  windpipe  was  ulcerated  of, 


I028  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

and  his  lung  have  dropped  intoo  his  stumick.  He  is  unabel  to  swoller  and  I  fear  his  stumick 
tube  is  gon.  I  hav  giv  hym  evry  thing  without  effeckt.  his  father  is  welthy  Onerable  and 
influenshal.  he  is  an  active  member  of  the  M.  E.  chirsch  and  god  nos  I  dont  want  to  loose 
hym.     what  shall  I  due.     ans.  buy  returne  male,     yours  in  neede. 

And  we  do  not  believe  that  any  mere  unaided  wit  could  have  produced  so 
startling  a  sign  as  this  in  a  German  lager-beer  saloon  : 

BOSIDEVELB 
NO 

Droschdt. 
On  the  same  principle,  no  one  could  shake  our  faith  in  the  following  bill 
presented  by  the  keeper  of  a  livery-stable  : 

Aosfaada  1.50 

Atacinonimomagin  50 

Pade  Iset  Jaix. 

Let  us  try  and  rearrange  the  above  in  the  manner  in  which  it  was  doubtless 
pronounced  by  the  accomplished  gentleman  who  wrote  it : 

A  'oss  for  a  day  1.50 

A  takin'  on  'im  'ome  agin  50 

That  Pade  is  phonetic  for  Paid,  and  that  Iset  yazjf  (Isaac  Jakes  ?)  is  the 
name  of  this  orthographical  hierophant,  goes  without  saying. 

Spinster.  The  manual  occupation  of  spinning,  so  indispensable  in  early 
times,  furnished  the  jurisprudence  of  Germany  and  England  with  a  term  to 
distinguish  the  female  \mt,—fuius  ;  and  a  memento  of  its  former  importance 
still  remains  in  the  appellation  of  spinster.  King  Alfred  speaks  of  his  male 
and  female  descendants  by  the  terms  of  the  spear  side  and  the  spindle  side  ; 
and  German  jurisprudence  still  divides  families  into  male  and  female  by  the 
titles  of  schwertmagen,  "sword-members,"  and  spillmagen  or  spindelmagen, 
"spindle-members."  The  term  "spinster,"  a  single  woman,  in  law,  is  now 
the  common  title  by  which  an  unmarried  woman  is  designated.  "  Generosa," 
says  Lord  Cole,  "  is  a  good  addition  for  a  gentlewoman  ;  and  if  such  be 
termed  spinster  she  may  abate  the  writ."  This,  however,  is  not  so  now,  for 
the  word  spinster  is  applied  in  England,  as  well  as  here,  to  all  unmarried 
women,  of  whatever  rank  or  condition. 

Spires  —  Heaven.      Wordsworth  has  the  following  fine  line  in  "The 

Excursion"  (Book  vi.)  : 

Spires  whose  "  silent  finger  points  to  heaven." 
The  quotation-marks  are  in  acknowledgment  of  Coleridge's  prior  claim  : 

An  instinctive  taste  teaches  men  to  build  their  churches  in  flat  countries  with  spire  steeples, 
which,  as  they  cannot  be  referred  to  any  other  object,  point  as  with  silent  finger  to  the  sky 
and  stars. — Coleridge  :   The  Friend,  No  14. 

Gautier  has  avowedly  taken  Wordsworth's  line  and  expanded  it  into  a 
sonnet.  The  sensitive  literary  conscience  which  both  Wordsworth  and  Gau- 
tier have  shown  in  this  connection  makes  us  trust  that  Coleridge  was  original. 
Certainly  the  likeness  between  him  and  Pope  is  not  sufficient  for  a  charge  of 
plagiarism  : 

Where  London's  column,  pointing  at  the  skies. 

Like  a  tall  bully,  lifts  the  head,  and  lies. 

Prior,  also,  has  the  following  line : 

These  pointed  spires  that  wound  the  ambient  sky. 
Milton,  in  his  Epitaph  on  Shakespeare,  says  that  that  poet  shall  not  lie 
Under  a  star-ypointing  pyramid. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1029 

Shakespeare  himself  says, — 

Yon  towers,  whose  wanton  tops  do  buss  the  clouds. 

Troilus  and  Cressida,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  5. 

And  a  far-off  resemblance  to  all  these  passages  may  be  discovered  in  the 
"caput  inter  nubila  condit"  in  Virgil's  description  of  Fame,  in  the  fourth 
book  of  the  "yEneid." 

Splendide  mendax  (L.,  "  Splendidly  mendacious").  The  lie  that  is 
more  or  less  applauded  is  an  old  trick  of  literature.  More  or  less  direct 
commendations  of  pious  frauds  abound  in  the  classics.  Thus,  yEschylus, 
"  God  is  not  averse  to  deceit  in  a  holy  cause"  {Frag.  Incert,  ii.)  ;  Euripides, 
"  To  commit  a  noble  deed  of  treachery  in  a  just  cause"  (Helena,  1633) ;  Cicero, 
"  Mentiri  gloriose  ;"  and  Horace,  in  the  still  more  famous  phrase, — 

Splendide  mendax  et  in  omne  virgo 
Nobilis  SEvum. 

Odes,  III.,xi.,  35. 

Horace's  lines  refer  to  Hypermnestra.  Her  father,  Danaus,  hearing  from 
an  oracle  that  he  would  be  slain  by  his  son-in-law,  made  his  fifty  daughters 
promise  that  they  would  slay  their  bridegrooms,  the  fifty  sons  of  i^gyptus. 
Hypermnestra  alone  broke  her  vow :  she  was  imprisoned,  but  the  people  de- 
clared her  innocent. 

Very  similar  are  Tasso's  lines  in  "Jerusalem  Delivered"  (ii.  22)  : 
Magnanima  menzogna  !  or  quando  h  il  vero 
Si  bello  che  si  possa  a  te  preporre  ? — 

which  may  be  Englished  thus  : 

O  noble  lie  !  was  ever  truth  so  good  ? 

The  laudatory  reference  is  to  a  lie  told  by  Sophronia.  The  Saracen  king, 
acting  on  a  renegade  Christian's  advice,  had  transferred  a  statue  of  the  Virgin 
Mary,  which  was  what  we  should  now  call  a  mascot,  from  a  church  to  the 
mosque.  Next  day  the  statue  disappeared,  and  the  king  threatened  to  kill 
all  the  Christians  unless  the  culprit  were  found.  Thereupon  Sophronia,  a 
virgin,  falsely  declared  that  she  was  guilty,  and  gave  herself  up  to  execution. 

In  the  Talmud  is  a  curious  story  which  has  its  variants  in  many  legends 
of  the  mediaeval  saints.  The  Roman  government  had  forbidden  the  wearing 
of  phylacteries,  on  pain  of  death.  Nevertheless,  the  Rabbi  Elisajus  continued 
to  wear  one.  Hearing  that  a  lictor  had  been  sent  to  arrest  him,  he  hastily 
unbound  it  and  concealed  it  in  his  hand.  "  What  have  you  in  your  hand?" 
asked  the  lictor.  "  I  have  the  wings  of  a  dove,"  answered  Elisaeus  ;  and,  lo  ! 
when  the  lictor  insisted  on  his  opening  his  hand,  the  wings  of  a  dove  were 
actually  found  therein.  This,  it  will  be  seen,  is  substantially  the  same  story 
as  that  of  St.  Elizabeth  of  Hungary,  who  was  charitable  against  her  husband's 
wish,  and  who,  meeting  him  when  her  apron  was  filled  with  bread  for  the 
poor,  declared,  on  inquiry,  that  it  contained  roses.  He  insisted  on  examining 
it,  and  the  loaves  were  miraculously  changed  to  roses. 

A  very  touching  lie  is  that  of  Desdemona  (Othello,  Act  v.,  Sc.  2),  who, 
when  Emilia  cries, — 

Oh,  who  hath  done  this  deed?— 
answers  from  her  couch, — 

Nobody ;  I  myself. 
Commend  me  to  my  kind  lord, — 
and  dies. 

In  modern  literature  a  famous  lie  is  **^at  of  Sister  Sulpice  in  Victor  Hugo  s 
"Les  Miserables."  When  Jean  Valje-n  is  arrested,  she  saves  him  by  the 
one  falsehood  of  her  life  : 


I030  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

"  No,"  she  says,  unflinchingly,  "  I  do  not  recognize  him  ;"  and  the  author, 
perhaps  remembering  Uncle  Toby  and  the  recording  angel,  says,  senten- 
tiously,  "  Holy  Virgin  !  this  will  be  remembered  in  heaven." 

This  episode  has  been  followed  very  closely  by  the  authors  of  "The  Two 
Orphans."  In  the  scene  at  the  Salpdtriere,  Sceur  Genevieve  brings  down 
the  house  by  a  similar  subterfuge  which  renders  liberty  to  the  innocent 
Henriette : 

"  It  is  my  first  falsehood,"  murmurs  Sceur  Genevieve. 

"  And  it  will  be  counted  to  your  credit  there  above,  as  a  work  of  charity," 
says  Henriette,  softly. 

In  Mrs.  Gaskell's  novel  of  "  North  and  South,"  and  in  Miss  Proctor's 
"  Milly's  E.\piation,"  the  heroines,  both  true  and  noble  women,  tell  a  lie  in 
court  to  save  their  lovers  from*  death.  Poor  Madame  Delphine,  in  Cable's 
novelette,  is  a  quadroon  ;  consequently  her  daughter  cannot  legally  marry  a 
white  man.  But  the  old  lady  swears  Olive  is  not  her  daughter,  and  dies 
at  the  confessional,  acknowledging  her  lie,  on  the  eve  of  the  girl's  marriage. 
Thackeray's  Little  Sister,  though  she  knows  that  she  was  legally  married  to 
Philip's  father,  denies  it  in  order  that  Philip  may  not  be  deprived  of  his  in- 
heritance. 

On  the  other  hand,  Jeanie  Deans,  in  "  The  Heart  of  Midlothian,"  refuses  to 
bear  false  witness  in  her  sister's  favor,  despite  the  entreaties  of  her  family 
and  the  agony  it  costs  her  to  tell  the  truth. 

Spoke  in  his  wheel,  a  phrase  which  seems  in  danger  of  losing  its  origi- 
nal signification,  to  "  thwart,"  to  "  obstruct,"  and  is  now  used  in  the  sense  of 
to  "assist."  When  solid  wheels  were  used,  the  driver  was  provided  with  a 
pin  or  spoke,  which  he  thrust  into  one  of  the  three  holes  made  to  receive  it, 
to  skid  the  cart  when  it  went  down-hill.  Tram-wagons  used  in  collieries  and 
carts  used  by  railway-navvies  still  have  their  wheels  "spoked"  in  order  to 
skid  them.  In  a  memorial  of  "  God's  Last  Twenty-Nine  Years'  Wonders  in 
England  for  its  Preservation  and  Deliverance  from  Popery  and  Slavery," 
published  in  1689,  the  author,  speaking  of  the  zeal  exerted  by  the  Parliament 
of  James  II.  against  arbitrary  government,  tells  us  that  "two  very  good  acts 
had  lately  been  procured  for  the  benefit  of  the  subject :"  one  "  for  disbanding 
the  army,"  the  other  "a  bill  of  habeas  corpus,  whereby  the  government  could 
not  any  longer  detain  men  in  prison  at  their  pleasure  as  formerly ;  both  which 
bills  were  such  spokes  in  their  chariot-wheels  that  made  them  drive  much 
heavier." 

Spook,  an  Americanism  for  a  ghost,  a  spirit. 

Philologically,  of  course,  there  is  no  difficulty  about  the  matter.  The  Greek  word  <pvxv 
is  familiar  to  many  people  who  do  not  know  Greek,  and  the  ingenious  theory  has  been  put 
forward  that  the  Germans  thought  well  to  adopt  it  into  their  language,  and,  having  a  well- 
grounded  dislike  to  beginning  a  word  with/j,  they  simply  transposed  the  consonants.  More- 
over, they  slightly  specialized  the  meaning,  as  constantly  happens  when  a  word  is  borrowed 


by  one  language  from  another.  Thus  <|<vvr;,  soul,  or  spirit,  became  Spuk,  spirit,  apparition, 
or  ghost.  Finally,  the  inhabitants  of  the  Western  States  of  America,  in  order  to  prove  the 
cosmopolitan  liberality  which  is  one  of  their  proudest  boasts,  learnt  the  word  from  their 
German  fellow-citizens,  and  again  slightly  altered  the  spelling  in  order  to  preserve  the  sound  ; 
so  that  Spook,  the  daughter  of  Sptik,  and  grand-daughter  of  ^vxi\.  became  and  was  and  still 
is  a  recognized  word  wherever  the  English  language  is  spoken,  and  the  normal  and  orthodox 
generic  word  for  ghosts  and  things  ghostly  throughout  a  great  part  of  the  Amurrican  conti- 
nent.— Saturday  Revieiv. 

Spoony,  a  colloquialism  for  effeminate,  silly ;  also  by  extension  applied  to 
a  person  in  love,  probably  from  the  custom  of  nicknaming  the  lowest  junior 
optime  in  the  mathematical  examination  at  Cambridge  University  the  "  spoon," 
and  presenting  him  with  a  wooden  spoon.  In  archery  matches,  in  England, 
the  one  who  has  the  lowest  score  is  rewarded  with  a  spoon  of  horn  or  wood. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1 03 1 

Spread  eagle,  a  slang  term  of  various  applications.  At  Cambridge 
University,  England,  it  means  a  fowl  opened  down  the  back  and  grilled. 
Among  sailors  it  is  applied  to  a  passenger  or  other  land-lubber  caught  in  the 
rigging  and  made  to  pay  a  forfeit.  But  the  meaning  that  now  overshadows 
all  others  makes  it  an  adjective  to  denote,  specifically,  the  brag  and  bluster 
of  a  certain  kind  of  American  oratory.  It  originated,  of  course,  in  America, 
and  is  an  allusion  to  the  eagle  with  outstretched  wings  which  forms  the 
national  emblem,  and  which  used  to  be  celebrated  with  special  extravagance 
by  Fourth-of-July  speakers.  The  noun  spread-eagleism  is  formed  from  the 
adjective. 

Squatter  Sovereignty,  the  popular  name  for  the  principles  expressed 
in  the  doctrine,  first  formulated  by  Lewis  Cass  in  1847,  that  slavery  "should 
be  kept  out  of  the  national  legislature,  and  left  to  the  people  of  the  con- 
federacy in  their  respective  local  governments."  The  doctrine  served  on  the 
one  hand  as  a  refuge  for  the  Northern  Democrats  against  the  demand  of  the 
Southern  slaveocracy  that  the  right  of  property  in  slaves  should  be  maintained 
everywhere,  even  in  places  where  slavery  was  tabooed  and  regardless  of  the 
wishes  of  the  inhabitants  of  the  localities  where  the  slave-owner  might  choose 
to  take  it, — a  demand  which  received  the  countenance  of  the  Supreme  Court 
in  the  Dred  Scott  decision, — and  on  the  other  hand  saved  them  from  going 
the  length  of  the  Wilmot  Proviso,  moved  as  an  amendment  to  the  proposed 
treaty  with  Mexico,  by  David  Wilmot,  of  Pennsylvania,  in  1846,  and  reintro- 
duced in  1848,  prohibiting  slavery  in  any  territory  which  might  be  acquired 
from  Mexico.  The  nickname  "  Squatter  Sovereignty"  was  first  derisively 
applied  to  the  doctrine  by  Calhoun. 

Stage,  All  the  "world's  a.  One  of  the  most  familiar  passages  in  Shake- 
speare is  the  soliloquy  put  into  the  mouth  of  the  melancholy  Jaques  in  "  As 
You  Like  It"  (Act  ii.,  Sc.  7),  which  begins, — 

All  the  world's  a  stage, 
And  all  the  men  and  women  merely  players. 
They  have  their  exits  and  their  entrances  ; 
And  one  man  in  his  time  plays  many  parts, 
His  acts  being  seven  ages. 
This  comparison  of  the  mimic  world  of  the  stage  to  the  greater  world  of  life 
frequently  recurs  in  Shakespeare  : 

Out,  out,  brief  candle  ! 
Life's  but  a  walking  shadow,  a  poor  player 
That  struts  and  frets  his  hour  upon  the  stage 
And  then  is  heard  no  more  :  it  is  a  tale 
Told  by  an  idiot,  full  of  sound  and  fury. 
Signifying  nothing. 

Macbeth,  Act  v.,  Sc.  5. 
I  hold  the  world  but  as  the  world,  Gratiano, — 
A  stage  where  everj'  man  must  play  a  part. 
And  mine  a  sad  one. 

Merchant  of  Venice,  Act  i.,  Sc.  i. 

It  is  found  also  in  many  of  Shakespeare's  contemporaries  and  predecessors  : 
The  world's  a  stage  on  which  all  parts  are  played. 

MiDDLETON  :  A  Game  at  Chess,  Act  v.,  Sc.  1. 
The  world's  a  theatre,  the  earth  a  stage. 
Which  God  and  Nature  do  with  aciors  fill. 

Thomas  Heywood:  Apology  for  Actors,  1612. 
A  noble  farce,  wherein  kings,  republics,  and  emperors  have  for  so  many  ages  played  thiir 
parts,  and  to  which  the  whole  vast  universe  serves  for  a  theatre.— Montaigne  :   OJ  the  Most 
Excellent  Men. 

I  lake  the  world  to  be  but  as  a  stage, 

re  net-maskt  men  do  play  their  personage. 
Du  Bartas  :  Dialogue  between  Heraclitus  . 


I032  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Full  eleven  centuries  before  Shakespeare,  Palladas,  the  Greek  grammarian 
and  epigrammatist,  had  written, — 

This  life  a  theatre  we  well  may  call. 

Where  every  actor  must  perform  with  art, 
Or  laugh  it  through,  and  make  a  farce  of  all. 

Or  learn  to  bear  with  grace  his  tragic  part. 

But  the  most  startling  use  of  the  metaphor  is  made  by  Heine  in  his  "  Reise- 
bilder  :" 

"  Du  sublime  an  ridicule  il  ti'y  a  qti'un  pas,  Madame  ! 

"  But  life  is  in  reality  so  terribly  serious  that  it  would  be  insupportable  were 
it  not  for  these  unions  of  the  pathetic  and  the  comic,  as  our  poets  well  know. 
Aristophanes  only  exhibits  the  most  harrowing  forms  of  human  madness  in 
the  laughing  mirror  of  wit,  Goethe  only  presumes  to  set  forth  the  fearful  pain 
of  thought  comprehending  its  own  nothingness  in  the  doggerel  of  a  puppet- 
show,  and  Shakespeare  puts  the  most  agonizing  lamentations  on  the  misery 
of  the  world  in  the  mouth  of  a  fool,  who  meanwhile  rattles  his  cap  and  bells 
in  all  the  nervous  suffering  of  pain. 

"  They  have  all  learned  from  the  great  First  Poet,  who,  in  his  World  Tragedy 
in  thousands  of  acts,  knows  how  to  carry  humor  to  the  highest  point,  as  we 
see  every  day.  After  the  departure  of  the  heroes,  the  clowns  and  graciosos 
enter  with  their  baubles  and  lashes  ;  and  after  the  bloody  scenes  of  the  Revo- 
lution there  came  waddling  on  the  stage  the  fat  Bourbons,  with  their  stale 
jokes  and  tender  'legitimate'  bon  mots,  and  the  old  noblesse  with  their 
starved  laughter  hopped  merrily  before  them,  while  behind  all  swept  the 
pious  Capuchins  with  candles,  cross,  and  banners  of  the  Church.  Yes,  even 
in  the  highest  pathos  of  the  World  Tragedy,  bits  of  fun  slip  in.  It  may  be 
that  the  desperate  republican,  who,  like  a  Brutus,  plunged  a  knife  to  his 
heart,  first  smelt  it  to  see  whether  some  one  had  not  split  a  herring  with  it — 
and  on  this  great  stage  of  the  world  all  passes  exactly  the  same  as  on  our 
beggarly  boards.  On  it,  too,  there  are  tipsy  heroes,  kings  who  forget  their 
parts,  scenes  which  obstinately  stay  up  in  the  air,  prompters'  voices  sounding 
above  everything,  danseuses  who  create  astonishing  effects  with  their  legs, 
and,  above  all,  costumes  which  are  and  ever  will  be  the  main  thing.  And  high 
in  Heaven,  in  the  first  row  of  the  boxes,  sit  the  lovely  angels,  and  keep  their 
lorgnettes  on  us  poor  sinners  commedianizing  here  down  below,  and  the 
blessed  Lord  himself  sits  seriously  in  his  splendid  seat,  and  perhaps  finds  it 
dull,  or  calculates  that  this  theatre  cannot  be  kept  up  much  longer,  because 
this  one  gets  too  high  a  salary,  and  that  one  too  little,  and  that  they  alto- 
gether play  far  too  indifferently." 

In  "  Don  Quixote,"  also,  the  Rueful  Knight  compares  all  the  world  to  a  stage, 
whereupon  Sancho  Panza  caps  his  master's  comparison  by  saying  it  is  also 
like  the  game  of  chess  ;  while  the  game  lasts,  each  piece  has  its  own  particular 
office,  but  as  soon  as  the  game  is  over  all  the  pieces  are  mixed  up  together 
and  cast  higgledy-piggledy  into  a  bag,  which  is  all  one,  says  Sancho,  with 
casting  our  dead  bodies  into  the  tomb.  Is  not  this  very  like  the  complaint 
of  Tennyson's  hero  in  "Maud"? — 


Do  we  move  ourselves,  or  are  we  moved  by  an  unseen  hand  at  a  game. 
That  pushes  us  off  the  board,  and  others  ever  succeed  ? 

But  before  Tennyson,  before  Cervantes,  the  same  figure  had  been  used  by 
Omar  Khayyam  in  his  Rubaiyat,  LXIX.  : 

But  helpless  Pieces  of  the  Game  He  plays 
Upon  this  Checker-board  of  Nights  and  Days, 

Hither  and  thither  moves,  and  checks,  and  slays. 
And  one  by  one  back  in  the  Closet  lays. 

{^Fitzgerald' s  translation.) 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  103 J 

Stain  upon  mud.  Rivarol  said  of  some  one  remarkable  for  the  nnclean- 
liness  of  his  peist)n,  "  He  would  make  a  stain  upon  mud."  This  is  obviously 
the  original  of  the  common  American  description  of  a  negro  as  so  black  that 
coal  would  make  a  white  mark  upon  him.  Talleyrand  describes  a  great  meta- 
physician as  a  man  who  excelled  in  writing  with  black  ink  on  a  black  ground. 

Stal\V£irts,  the  name  given  to  a  faction  of  the  Republican  party.  It 
arose  out  of  the  action  of  a  portion  of  the  delegates  to  the  Republican  National 
Convention  in  1880,  to  the  number  of  three  hundred  and  nine,  under  the 
leadership  of  Roscoe  Conkling  of  New  York,  holding  persistently  (stalwartly) 
to  the  nomination  of  General  Grant  for  a  third  term,  to  the  end  of  the  ballot- 
ing, when  James  A.  Garfield  was  finally  nominated  by  a  coalescence  of  all 
the  other  factions  against  the  Stalwarts,  In  order  to  propitiate  them,  Chester 
A.  Arthur,  who  was  affiliated  with  them,  was  selected  as  the  party's  candidate 
for  the  Vice-Presidency.  Notwithstanding  this  fact,  the  contest  between  the 
factions  was  extremely  warm  during  the  short  incumbency  by  Garfield  of  the 
Presidential  chair,  and  the  quarrel  led  finally  to  the  resignation  of  the  New 
York  Senators,  Conkling  and  Piatt.  The  Senators  were  disappointed  in 
their  expected  "vindication"  through  a  re-election  by  the  New  York  Legis- 
lature. The  Republicans  of  New  York  who  supported  the  administration, 
and  Mr.  Blaine,  the  Secretary  of  State,  who  was  the  head  of  the  opposition 
to  the  resigning  Senators,  were,  in  consequence  of  their  failure  to  stand  by 
the  Senators  and  to  re-elect  them,  dubbed  "  Half-Breeds."  The  assassination 
of  Garfield  and  tlie  succession  of  Arthur,  a  Stalwart,  combined  with  the  lat- 
ter's  discreet  conduct,  seemed  on  the  surface  to  heal  the  breach.  Neverthe- 
less, at  the  ensuing  election  the  Republican  candidate  for  Governor  was  de- 
feated by  the  enormous  majority  of  nearly  two  hundred  thousand  votes.  The 
withdrawal  of  Senator  Conkling  from  political  life  in  1884  aided  materially  in 
restoring  union  between  the  contestants,  but  the  distinction  of  Republicans  in 
New  York  into  Half-Breeds  and  Stalwarts  continued  for  many  years,  and 
ceased  only  with  the  ascendency  of  ex-Senator  Piatt  in  the  government  of  the 
party  machine  of  the  State. 

Stammerer,  an  epithet  bestowed  on  two  kings  who  were  afflicted  with 
imperfect  utterance, — Michael  the  Stammerer,  on  the  throne  of  the  Eastern 
Caesars,  and  Louis  the  Stammerer,  who  was  crowned  Western  Emperor  by 
the  Pope  at  Troyes. 

Stepping-stones.  A  passage  which  has  afforded  much  room  for  inge- 
nious comment  is  the  first  stanza  in  Tennyson's  "  In  Memoriam  :" 

I  held  it  truth,  with  him  who  sings 

To  one  clear  harp  in  divers  tones. 

That  men  may  rise  on  stepping-stones 
Of  their  dead  selves  to  higher  things. 

Now,  in  "The  Ladder  of  St.  Augustine,"  Longfellow  has, — 

St.  Augustine  !  well  hast  thou  said. 

That  of  our  vices  we  can  frame 
A  ladder,  if  we  will  but  tread 

Beneath  our  feet  each  deed  of  shame. 

Once  the  similarity  between  these  two  stanzas  had  been  pointed  out,  it  did 
not  take  long  for  conjecture  to  decide  that  Longfellow  was  the  poet  whom 
Tennyson  was  praising.  But  conjecture  reasoned  without  dates.  Longfel- 
low's poem  was  published  a  short  time  after  "In  Memoriam."  Was  it  St. 
Augustine,  then,  who  sang  to  one  clear  harp  in  divers  tones  ?  The  descrip- 
tion certainly  did  not  seem  very  appropriate.  Finally  the  question  was  set- 
tled by  Tennyson  himself.  So  we  are  told  by  Rev,  Alfred  Catty,  author  of  a 
2T  87 


I034  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

commentary  on  "  In  Memoriam,"  who  wrote  as  follows  to  Notes  and  Queries: 
"The  poet  alluded  to  is  Goethe.  I  know  this  from  Lord  Tennyson  himself, 
although  he  could  not  identify  the  passage  ;  and  when  I  submitted  to  him  a 
small  book  of  mine  on  his  marvellous  poem,  he  wrote,  '  It  is  Goethe's  creed,' 
on  this  very  passage." 

Ste'w  in  their  d-wn  grease,  an  ancient  phrase,  common  to  the  early  lit- 
erature of  most  countries,  which  had  fallen  into  unregretted  desuetude  when 
it  was  revived  in  the  savage  mot  attributed  to  Bismarck  during  the  siege  of 
Paris,  1870-71  :  "I  am  going  to  let  Paris  stew  in  her  own  grease."  So  far 
back  as  Chaucer  we  find, — 

But  certainly  I  made  folk  such  chere, 
That  in  his  own  grees  I  made  him  frie. 

riie  Wife  of  Bath: s  Preamble. 

Shakespeare,  in  "The  Merry  Wives  of  Windsor"  (Act  ii.,  Sc.  i),  speaks  of 
"melting  Falstaff  in  his  own  grease."  The  Duke  of  Alva  declared  that  the 
Low  Countries  were  fat  enough  to  be  stewed  in  their  own  liquor.  And  so 
recent  a  writer  as  G.  P.  R.  James  says  in  his  "  Forest  Days,"  "  If  yonder 
cooks  have  not  done  their  duty  and  got  all  ready,  I  will  fry  them  in  their 
own  juice." 

Still-hunt,  a  term  applied  in  political  parlance  to  an  election  conducted 
without  any  great  outward  show  of  activity,  but  with  much  quiet,  not  to  say 
underhand,  work.  It  is  also  applied  to  the  proceedings  of  one  desiring  to 
become  a  candidate  for  an  office,  who,  while  openly  pretending  and  even 
declaring  that  he  does  not  seek  it,  is  furthering  his  plans  in  secret.  In  its 
earlier  meaning  it  was  first  applied  to  the  alleged  methods  of  Samuel  J.  Til- 
den  in  his  Presidential  candidacy  in  1876. 

Stilton  Hero,  the  nickname  given  to  Cooper  Thornhfll,  an  innkeeper  at 
Stilton,  in  Huntingdonshire.  A  relative  of  his,  Mrs.  Paulet,  was  the  first  to 
make  the  celebrated  Stilton  cheese,  and  it  was  he  that  introduced  it  to  the 
market.  He  was  a  famous  rider,  and  it  is  recorded  of  him  that  three  times 
he  rode  to  London  (seventy-one  miles)  in  eleven  hours.  He  also  gained  a 
good  deal  of  local  celebrity  by  winning  the  cup  at  Kimbolton  with  a  mare 
which  he  had  picked  up  accidentally  on  the  road,  and  that,  too,  after  having 
previously  ridden  her  twelve  miles. 

Stone.  Leave  no  stone  unturned, — i.e.,  try  every  expedient.  The 
earliest  recorded  form  of  this  colloquialism  is  probably  to  be  sought  in  the 
reply  of  the  Delphic  oracle  to  the  question  of  Polycrates,  how  he  could  find 
the  treasure  rumored  to  have  been  buried  by  Mardonius  on  the  battle-field  of 
Plataea.     The  answer  was,  "  Turn  every  stone." 

Stool  of  repentance,  a  stool  which  was  placed  in  front  of  the  pulpit  in 
Scotland,  and  on  which  persons  who  had  incurred  censure  for  an  ecclesiastical 
offence  were  obliged  to  sit  during  service.  After  the  service  the  "  penitent" 
was  expected  to  stand  up  on  the  stool  while  the  minister  administered  a  pub- 
lic rebuke.  This  form  of  censure  was  sometimes  practised  even  during  the 
present  century. 

Stornello  verses  are  verses  in  which  certain  words  are  harped  upon  and 
turned  about  and  about.  They  are  common  among  the  Tuscan  peasants. 
The  word  is  from  tornare,  to  "  return  :" 

I'll  tell  him  the  white  and  the  green  and  the  red 
Mean  our  country  has  flung  the  vile  yoke  from  her  head ; 
IMl  tell  him  the  green  and  the  red  and  the  white 
Would  look  well  by  his  side  as  a  sword-knot  so  bright ; 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1035 

I'll  tell  him  the  red  and  the  white  and  the  green 
Is  the  prize  that  we  play  for,  a  prize  we  will  win. 

Storm-and-Stress  Period,  the  name  given  to  a  period  of  great  intel- 
lectual convulsion  in  the  history  of  German  literature  which  developed  in 
the  last  quarter  of  the  eighteenth  century.  It  was  marked  by  the  strenuous 
and  successful  efforts  by  which  the  participators  broke  the  fetters  of  conven- 
tionalism in  all  spheres  of  intellectual  activity.  It  received  its  name  from 
Klinger's  drama  "  Sturm  und  Drang"  ("  Storm  and  Stress"),  and  among  its 
epoch-making  works  are  Goethe's  "  Goetz  von  Berlichingen"  and  Schiller's 
"Robbers,"  while  the  former,  in  his  "Sorrows  of  Werther,"  represents  its 
sentimental  and  lachrymose  features  : 

The  wisdom  and  extravagance  of  the  age  united  in  one  stream.  The  masterly  criticism 
of  Lessing,  the  enthusiasm  for  Shakespeare,  the  mania  for  Ossian  and  the  Northern  my- 
thology, the  revival  of  ballad  literature  and  parodies  of  Rousseau,  all  worked  in  one  rebel- 
lious current  against  established  authority.  There  was  one  universal  shout  for  "  nature." 
With  the  young  nature  seemed  a  compound  of  volcanoes  and  moonlight.  To  be  insurgent 
and  sentimental,  explosive  and  lachrymose,  were  the  true  signs  of  genius. — G.  H.  Lewbs: 
L'/e  of  Goethe. 

Great,  indeed,  was  the  woe  and  fury  of  these  power-men  (Kraft-manner).  Beauty  to  their 
mind  seemed  synonymous  for  strength.  All  passion  poetical,  so  it  were  but  fierce  enough. 
Their  head  moral  virtue  was  Pride  ;  their  beau-ideal  of  manhood  was  some  transcript  of  MiU 
ton's  devil.  Often  they  inverted  Bolingbroke's  plan,  and  instead  of  "  patronizing  Provi- 
dence" did  directly  the  opposite,  raging  with  extreme  animation  against  Fate  in  general 
because  it  enthralled  free  virtue,  and  with  clenched  hands  or  sounding  shields  hurhng  defi- 
ance towards  the  vault  of  heaven. — Carlyle  :  Life  of  Schiller. 

Stormy  Petrel  of  Politics,   a  sobriquet  of  John  Scott,  Earl  of  Eldon 

(1751-1838),  because  he  was  in  the  habit  of  hastening  up  to  London  when 
any  rumor  of  a  dissolution  of  the  Cabinet  reached  him.  He  did  so  at  the 
.  death  of  Lord  Liverpool,  under  the  expectation  that  the  king  would  call  on 
him  to  form  a  ministry,  but  the  task  was  assigned  to  Canning.  When 
Canning  died,  he  was  in  full  expectation  of  being  sent  for,  but  the  king  ap- 
plied to  Lord  Goderich.  Again,  when  Lord  Goderich  resigned,  Eldon  felt 
sure  of  being  sent  for,  but  the  king  asked  Wellington  to  form  a  ministry. 

Straw,  Men  of.  In  earlier  times  the  procuring  of  witnesses  to  perjure 
themselves  by  false  swearing  was  more  common  than  now,  and  men  could  be 
easily  found  to  give  any  evidence  upon  oath  that  might  be  required  of  them. 
In  England  it  was  a  common  thing  for  these  mercurial  wretches  to  walk 
openly  in  Westminster  Hall  with  a  straw  in  one  of  their  shoes  to  signify  Uiat 
they  wanted  employment  as  witnesses  :  hence  originated  the  expression  "He 
is  a  man  of  straw."  These  false  witnesses  can  boast  of  a  high  antiquity.  A 
writer  in  the  Quarterly  Review,  describing  the  ancient  courts  in  Greece,  says, 
"  We  have  all  heard  of  a  race  of  men  who  used  in  former  days  to  ply  about 
our  own  courts  of  law,  and  who,  from  their  manner  of  making  known  their 
occupation,  were  recognized  by  the  name  of  straw-shoes.  An  advocate  or 
lawyer  who  wanted  a  convenient  witness  knew  by  these  signs  where  to  hnd 
one,  and  the  colloquy  between  the  parties  was  brief.  '  Don't  you  remember .' 
said  the  advocate.  The  party  looked  at  the  fee  and  gave  no  sign  ;  but  the 
fee  increased,  and  the  powers  of  memory  increased  with  it:  lo  be  sure  l 
do.'  '  Then  come  into  court  and  swear  it.'  And  straw-shoes  went  into  court 
and  swore  it.  Athens  abounded  in  straw-shoes."  There  are  plenty  of  straw- 
shoes"  still,  but  they  do  not  wear  their  distinguishing  mark.  They  devote 
their  talents  now  chiefly  to  furnishing  bail  without  the  necessary  qualihca- 
tions,  and  "straw-bail"  has  become  a  familiar  term  in  our  courts. 

Stricken  deer.  The  wild  exclamation  of  Hamlet  after  the  success  of  his 
stratagem  in  the  play-scene  is  well  known  : 


103^  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Why  let  the  stricken  deer  go  weep. 

The  hart  ungallfed  play  ; 
For  some  must  watch,  while  some  must  sleep. 

So  runs  the  world  away. 

Act  iii.,  Sc.  2. 

In  "  As  You  Like  It"  occurs  another  reference  to  a  wounded  deer : 

A  poor  sequestered  stag, 
That  from  the  hunter's  aim  had  ta'en  a  hurt. 

Act  ii.,  Sc.  1. 

Both  these  passages  may  have  been  in  Cowper's  mind  when  he  described 
himself  thus  : 

I  was  a  stricken  deer  that  left  the  herd 
Long  since  :  with  many  an  arrow  deep  infixed 
My  panting  side  was  charged,  when  1  withdrew 
To  seek  a  tranquil  death  in  distant  shades. 

Tlie  Task,  Book  iii. 
Shelley  has  the  same  figure  : 

A  herd- abandoned  deer  struck  by  the  hunter's  dart. 

Adonais,  xxxiii. 

A  further  paralTerism  is  not  devoid  of  interest.  In  "  As  You  Like  It,"  after 
the  lines  already  quoted,  the  poet,  speaking  through  the  melancholy  Jaques, 
goes  on  to  describe  the  agony  of  the  sequestered  stag : 

The  wretched  animal  heaved  forth  such  groans. 

That  their  discharge  did  stretch  his  leathern  coat 

Almost  to  bursting  ;  and  the  big  round  tears 

Coursed  one  another  down  his  innocent  nose 

In  piteous  chase. 

Thomson  paints  a  stag  in  the  same  situation  : 

Fainting  breathless  toil. 
Sick,  seizes  on  his  heart, — he  stands  at  bay  : 
The  big  round  tears  run  down  his  dappled  face ; 
He  groans  in  anguish. 

Autumn,  v.  451. 

Dryden  paints  a  hare  caught  in  the  toils  : 

So  have  I  seen  some  fearful  hare  maintain'. 

A  course,  till  tired  before  the  dog  she  lay  ; 
Who,  stretched  behind  her,  pants  upon  the  plain. 

Past  power  to  kill,  as  she  to  get  away. 

With  his  loIL'd  tongue  he  faintly  licks  his  prey. 

His  warm  breath  blows  her  flix  up  as  she  lies ; 
She,  trembling,  creeps  upon  the  ground  away. 

And  looks  back  to  him  with  beseeching  eyes. 

A  nnus  Miraiilis,  Staozas  i3i-3a. 

DTsraeli,  who  first  pointed  otrt  these  latter  similarities,  makes  a  criticism 
which  flew,  perhaps,  will  agree  with  r  "  Of  these  three  pictures  the  beseechirtg 
eyes  of  Dryden  perhaps  is  more  pathetic  than  the  big  round  tears,  certainly 
borrowed  by  Thomson  from  Shakespeare,  because  the  former  expression  has 
more  passion,  and  is  therefore  more  poetical.  The  sixth  line  in  Dryden  is 
perhaps  exquisite  for  its  imitative  harmony,  and  with  peculiar  felicity  paints 
the  action  itself.  Thomson  adroitly  drops  t/ie  ifirwcent  nose,  of  which  one 
word  seems  to  have  lost  its  original  signification,  and  the  other  offends  now 
by  its  familiarity.  Tke  dappled  face  is  a  term  more  picturesque,  more  appro- 
priate, and  more  poetically  expressed."  (Curiosities  of  Literature:  Poetical 
Imitations.) 

Studies.  Send  us  a  bishop  'who  has  finished  his  studies.  A  chest- 
nut which,  every  now  and  then  makes  the  round  of  the  English  and  American 
papers  sets  forth  that  a  farmer,  finding  his  bishop  always  engaged  ia  his 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1037 

studies  when  he  endeavored  to  see  him,  finally  expressed  an  impatient  wish 
that  "  the  next  bishop  the  queen  did  appoint  would  be  one  who  had  finished 
his  studies."  Now,  this  is  only  an  adaptation  of  a  famous  French  tale  thus 
narrated  by  Sainte-Beuve  in  "  Causeries  du  Lundi"  (1851),  vol.  ii.  p.  158,  of  the 
famous  Huet,  Bishop  of  Avranches  until  1721  :  "  He  used  to  pass  many  hours 
in  his  library,  and  when  he  was  sought  on  business  the  answer  always  was, 
'  Monseigiieur  is  at  his  studies.'  This  caused  the  people  of  Avranches  to 
say,  though  otherwise  full  of  respect  for  him,  '  We  will  pray  the  king  to  give 
us  a  bishop  who  has  finished  his  studies.' "  Hence,  Sainte-Beuve  continues, 
there  sprang  up  a  proverbial  saying,  generally  used  in  the  bishop's  country 
of  Lower  Normandy.  When  a  man  is  absent  in  mind,  dreamy, — in  short, 
when  his  wits  are  wool-gathering, — his  neighbors  rally  him  in  these  words  : 
"  Qu'est-ce  que  t'as  done  1  T'es  tout  eveque  d' Avranches  ce  matin"  ("  What's 
the  matter  with  you .-'  You're  for  all  the  world  the  Bishop  of  Avranches  this 
morning"). 

Stuffed  Prophet,  an  epithet  which  the  New  York  Sun  sought  to  fasten 
on  Grover  Cleveland  just  prior  to  his  nomination  as  a  candidate  for  the 
Presidency  in  1892.  This  phonetically  recalls  that  other  nickname,  the 
Stuffed  Captain,  which  in  1872,  or  thereabouts,  became  almost  an  issue  in 
Prussian  politics. 

To  the  perplexity  of  the  outsider,  the  papers,  and  especially  the  comic 
papers,  suddenly  burst  out  into  allusions  to  the  Stuffed  Captain,  whom  the 
progressive  press  made  the  butt  of  humorous  but  none  the  less  violent  at- 
tacks. At  last  it  turned  out  that  in  all  Prussian  budgets  there  figured  a  cap- 
tain of  the  First  Regiment  of  Foot-Guards,  for  whose  pay  the  estimates  were 
charged  with  one  thousand  three  hundred  thalers,  though  the  oflScer's  name 
was  not  to  be  found  in  the  army  list.  The  progressists  scented  in  the  item 
one  of  the  numerous  false  pretences  by  which  the  government  was  supposed 
to  obtain  funds.  Finally,  the  Stuffed  Captain  in  this  case  proved  to  be  no 
other  than  King  William  himself,  by  his  imperial  dignity  captain  of  his  own 
First  Foot-Guards.  He  did  not,  however,  pocket  the  money  for  his  own  use, 
but  paid  it  regularly  towards  the  support  of  the  tallest  men  in  that  company 
of  giants,  for  which,  like  Frederick  the  Great,  he  had  a  constitutional  ten- 
derness. 

Stump,  Going  on  the,  a  political  Americanism  signifying  a  speech-making 
tour  to  influence  votes  pending  an  election.  "The  stump"  is  the  Ameri- 
can equivalent  to  the  English  "  jjlatform."  In  the  early  history  of  America 
a  political  orator  would  address  his  audiences  from  any  convenient  point  of 
vantage  ;  in  the  newly-settled  regions,  just  cleared  of  forest,  it  might  fre- 
quently be  a  tree-stump.  Hence  the  name  "stump  speech"  was  given  to 
any  political  harangue.  Other  derivatives  are  "  stump-speaker"  and  "  stump- 
ing the  State,"— th"e  last  phrase  meaning  to  make  the  circuit  of  the  State  and 
deliver  political  speeches.     (See  Spellbinder.) 

Style.  The  style  is  the  man  himself  (Fr.,  "Le  style,  c'est  I'homme 
meme"),  a  phrase  used  by  Buffon  in  his  reception  address  at  the  French 
Academy,  1753:  "  Only  well-written  works  will  descend  to  posterity.  Ful- 
ness of  knowledge,  interesting  facts,  even  useful  inventions,  are  no  pledges 
of  innnortality,  for  they  mav  be  employed  by  more  skilful  hands:  they  are 
..utside  the  man  ;  the  style  is  the  man  himself."  Another  version  makes 
Buffon  say,  "the  style  is  of  the  man"  ("  le  style  est  de  I'homme"),  but  there 
seems  to  be  no  reason  to  reject  the  more  common  reading.  Before  l.uffon 
Fenelon  had  said  that  "a  man's  style  is  nearly  as  much  a  part  of  him  as  his 
physiognomy,  his  figure,  the  beating  of  his  pulse,— in  short,  as  any  part  of 
87* 


1038  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

his  being  which  is  least  subjected  to  the  action  of  the  will."  In  his  "  Anatomy 
of  Melancholy  :  Democritus  to  the  Reader,"  Burton  has,  "  It  is  most  true, 
styhis  virum  arguit, — our  style  bewrays  us," — the  Latin  being  very  nearly 
Buffon's  phrase.  Goethe  means  the  same  thing  when  he  says,  "A  writer's 
style  is  the  counterproof  of  his  character." 

BufTon  says  the  style  is  the  man  himself.  Villemain  is  a  living  refutation  of  this  maxim: 
his  style  is  beautiful,  robust,  and  cleanly. — Heine  :    Thoughts  and  Fancies. 

Suaviter  in  modo,  fortiter  in  re  (L.,  "Gentle  in  manner,  vigorous  in 
performance"),  a  maxim  of  uncertain  authorship.  In  many  of  the  writings  of 
the  mediaeval  churchmen  there  are  passages  which  closely  approximate  this, 
none  more  closely  than  the  following  from  a  treatise  "  Industrias  ad  curandos 
animas  morbos,"  published  at  Venice  in  1606,  by  Aquaviva,  the  general  of 
the  Jesuits : 

Fortes  in  fine  assequendo,  et  suaves  in  modo  assequendi  simus  ("  Let  us  be  vigorous  in 
attaining  our  object,  and  mild  in  the  means  thereto"). 

But  the  source  of  it  is  the  Wisdom  of  Solomon,  ch.  viii.  v.  i,  where  it  is  "  Sapi- 
entia  attingit  ergo  a  fine  usque  ad  finem  fortiter  et  disponit  omnia  suaviter" 
("  Wisdom  reacheth  from  one  end  to  another  mightily,  and  sweetly  doth  she 
order  all  things").  There  is  here  no  distinction  in  the  application  of  the 
precept ;  but  St.  Bernard  has  "  Atque  ita  per  omnia  imitatur  sapientiam,  dum 
et  vitiis  resistit  fortiter  et  in  conscientia  requiescit  suaviter."  (De  Grat.  et  Lib. 
Ar.)    The  suaviter  in  modo  is  recommended  by  many  popular  proverbs, — e.g. : 

Parole  douce,  et  main  au  bonnet, 
Ne  coute  rien,  et  bonne  est. 

("  Gentle  words,  hat  in  hand,  cost  nothing,  and  are  acceptable.") 

The  saying  comes  from  Henry  IV.  of  France,  the  merry  Henry  of  Navarre. 
This  king  was  a  terrible  libertine,  and  not  wise  as  a  sovereign,  yet  his  sub- 
jects adored  him.  '  Like  other  libertines,  he  was  the  pink  of  courtesy.  This 
fair  saying  of  Henry  of  Navarre's  may  be  matched  by  the  Spanish  proverb 
"Cortesia  de  boca  mucho  vale  y  poco  cuesta"  ("Lip-courtesy  is  worth  much 
and  costs  little").  No  one  who  has  not  been  through  Iberian  lands  and  mixed 
with  high  and  low  in  them  can  have  an  idea  of  the  importance  of  this  brief 
maxim.  The  Spaniards  are  a  gracious  people, — we  Anglo-Saxons  cannot 
compare  with  them  in  the  matter  of  civility, — but  their  civility  must  be  met 
with  civility,  or  it  quickly  develops  into  hatred  of  the  most  bitter  kind,  which 
we  all  know  as  the  outcome  of  a  mark  of  contempt. 

Sublime.  There  is  but  one  step  from  the  sublime  to  the  ridicu- 
lous, so  said  Napoleon  in  1812.  The  phrase  will  live  as  long  as  he  will ; 
yet  in  the  form  which  Tom  Paine  gave  it  in  his  "Age  of  Reason"  (Paris, 
1795)  it  would  never  have  caught  the  popular  fancy.  "One  step  above  the 
sublime,"  says  Paine,  "makes  the  ridiculous,  and  one  step  above  the  ridicu- 
lous makes  the  sublime  again."  Still  less  likely  to  take  the  public  ear  was 
the  expression  used  by  Deslard,  who  died  in  1757  :  "  I  distrust  those  senti- 
ments that  are  too  far  removed  from  hand,  and  whose  sublimity  is  blended 
with  ridicule,  which  too  are  as  near  one  another  as  extreme  wisdom  and 
folly."  Coleridge  in  his  "Table-Talk"  speaks  of  a  passage  being  "the  sub- 
lime dashed  to  pieces  by  cutting  too  close  with  the  fiery  four-in-hand  around 
the  corner  of  nonsense;"  and  Edward  Lord  Oxford,  according  to  a  corre- 
spondent of  Notes  and  Queries,  wrote  in  his  manuscript  commonplace-book, 
"The  magnificent  and  the  ridiculous  are  so  near  neighbors  that  they  touch 
each  other."  All  these  various  authors  recognized  the  fact  that  there  was 
but  a  step  from  the  sublime  to  the  ridiculous,  but  they  just  failed  of  the  happy 
phrase  that  might  have  given  their  thought  immortality. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1039 

Sublime  Porte,  a  name  for  Constantinople  which  comes  to  us  through 
the  French  La  Porte  Sublime,  "the  sublime  door  or  gate."  In  a  fit  of 
Oriental  self-gratulation,  Mohammed  II.  (1451-1481)  styled  his  capital  "The 
Lofty  [or  Sublime]  Gate  of  the  Royal  Tent."  This  was  translated  into  Italian 
as  La  Porta  Sublima,  and  the  term  has  since  been  adopted  by  all  Western 
nations.  Gate  is  a  nietonyme  for  court  or  place  of  justice.  In  the  East 
justice  has  always  been  administered  in  the  gate  either  of  the  city  or  of  the 
king's  palace.  The  Trojan  councils  were  held  in  the  gates  of  Priam's  palace. 
In  Xenophon's  "  Cyropsedia,"  ch.  viii.,  the  court  of  theKing  of  Persia  is  desig- 
nated "the  Gate."  The  Gate  and  Key  at  the  Alhambra  probably  meant 
the  place  where  justice  was  unlocked.  And  even  in  London,  Newgate  still 
testifies  to  the  connection  between  gates  and  the  justice  there  administered, 
for  the  Old  Bailey  stands  annexed.  Many  nations  used  to  write  their  laws 
upon  gates.  Peter  is  the  rock,  and  the  gates  of  hell  shall  not  prevail  against 
him. 

Sucker  State,  a  sobriquet  for  Illinois.  As  good  a«  explanation  as  any  is 
the  following.  The  first  settlements  of  Northern  Illinois  and  Southern  Wis- 
consin were  those  in  and  around  what  is  now  Grant  County,  Wisconsin.  The 
lead-diggings  were  a  great  attraction  to  the  adventurous  frontiersmen,  as 
the  galena  found  a  ready  market  and  was  paid  for  in  hard  cash.  With  the 
approach  of  winter,  many  of  the  miners  went  south  to  their  Illinois  honies. 
They  returned  in  spring  when  the  streams  were  thawing  out  and  the 
"suckers,"  the  first  fish  of  the  season,  were  running  plentifully.  As  years 
passed  on,  it  became  a  common  by-word  that  "  the  Suckers  had  come  back," 
and  so  the  name  gradually  fastened  on  all  Illinois  people.  On  the  other 
hand,  those  who  braved  the  Wisconsin  winters,  or  had  no  family  ties  to  take 
them  away,  spent  their  time  as  best  they  could,  hunting,  trapping,  etc.,  and 
roughed  it  in  primitive  quarters.  They  found  shelter  in  caves  and  dug-outs 
and  mining-drifts  till  spring  brought  them  also  out  of  their  holes.  Their 
returning  companions  would  jokingly  say  that  "the  Badgers  had  come  out." 
So  it  happened  that,  though  Illinois  does  not  specially  abound  in  "suckers," 
and  "badgers"  are  rather  scarce  in  Wisconsin,  the  two  commonwealths  are 
still  respectively  known  as  "  the  Sucker  State"  and  "  the  Badger  State." 

Sun.  One  of  the  oldest  and  most  universal  metaphors  in  literature  is  thus 
restated  by  Bacon  : 

The  sun,  which  passeth  through  pollutions  and  itself  remains  as  pure  as  before. — Advance- 
ment 0/  Learning,  Book  ii. 

An  early  appearance  of  the  figure  is  indicated  in  the  following  story  told  by 
Erasmus  :  "  Diogenes  being  chidden  for  that  he  was  a  goer  into  places  full  of 
stynke  and  all  vnclenelynesse,  he  saied,  'Why,  the  soone  also  doeth  creepe 
vnder  houses  of  office,  and  yet  is  not  therewith  defoyl'd  nor  embrewed,  or 
made  durtie."  {Apophthegms,  translation  of  1542,  fol.  142.)  Erasmus  probably 
borrowed  the  story  from  Diogenes  Laertiu.s,  Book  vi.,  sect.  63.  But  the  figure 
is  found  in  the  folk-lore  of  every  country  in  the  form  of  a  riddle  (see  Enigma, 
p.  294),  and  is  constantly  reappearing  in  literature.  Here  are  a  few  random 
instances  : 

Spiritalis  enim  virtus  sacramenti  ita  est  ut  lux  :  etsi  per  immundos  transeat,  non  inquinatur 
("  The  spiritual  virtue  of  a  sacrament  is  like  light :  although  it  passes  among  the  impure,  it  is 
not  polluted").— Saint  Augustine:  Works,  vol.  iii..  In  Johannis  Evang.,  cap.  i.  tr.  v. 
sec.  15. 

The  sun  shineth  upon  the  dunghill,  and  is  not  corrupted.— Lyly  :  Euphues  :  The  Anatomy 
of  Wit  (Arber's  reprint),  p.  43. 

The  sun,  reflecting  upon  the  mud  of  strands  and  shores,  is  unpolluted  in  his  beam.— Tay- 
lor :  Holy  Living,  ch.  i. 


I040  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Truth  is  as  impossible  to  be  soiled  by  any  outward  tonch  as  the  sunbeam. — Milton  :  The 
Doctrine  and  Discipline  of  Divorce. 

Sometimes  the  moon  is  substituted  for  the  snn.  Tiios,  Coleridge  said  of 
Charles  Lamb,  "  Nothing  ever  left  a  stain  on  that  gentle  creature's  mind, 
which  looked  upon  the  degraded  men  and  things  around  him  like  moonshine 
on  a  dunghill,  which  shines  and  takes  no  pollution." 

Sun.  Hold  a  candle  to  the  sun.  Young  in  his  last  Satire,  addressed 
to  Walpole,  foretells  that  some  succeeding  Muse  shall  tell,  among  other 
matters, — 

How  commentators  each  dark  passage  shun. 

And  hold  their  farthing  candle  to  the  sun. 

In  the  verbal  sense  these  lines  have  proved  prophetic,  for  a  later  Muse,  in  the 
person  of  Crabbe,  describing  the  usual  collection  of  cottage  reading,  mentions 
the  newly-bound  Bible,  containing,  unfortunately,  such  comments  as  induce 
the  rustic  to  cavil  and  ask  -why  ?  and  how  ? 

Oh,  rather  give  me  commentators  {rfain. 
Who  with  no  deep  researches  vex  tlie  brain ; 
Who  from  the  dark  and  doubtful  love  to  ruB, 
And  hold  the  glimmering  tapers  to  the  sun. 

Introduction  to  the  Parish  Register,  I.  89. 

But  the  idea  of  holding  a  taper  or  candle  to  the  sun  is  to  be  found  in  English 
poetry  at  least  as  early  as  the  time  of  Henry  VIII.  Surrey,  reproving  all 
who  dare  compare  their  loves  with  his  Geraldine,  speaks  of  them  as  "  match- 
ing candles  with  the  sun."  Algernon  Sidney,  in  his  "•  Discoorses  on  Govern- 
ment," shows  by  many  examples  that  government  to  be  the  best  which  best 
provides  for  war;  "it  more  examples  l^e  wanted,"  he  says,  "they  may  easily 
be  supplied,  but  it  is  not  necessary  'to  light  a  candle  to  the  sun.'" 

Sun  never  sets  in  my  dominions  (Ger.,  "  Die  Sonne  geht  in  meinem 
Staat  nicht  unter"),  the  proud  boast  of  Philip  II.,  in  Schiller's  "Don  Carlos," 
Act  i.,  Sc.  6.     The  germ  of  the  idea  doubtless  is  in  Herodotus,  Book  vii.,  ch. 
viii.,  where  Xerxes  says  to  his  staff  that  after  making  his  anticipated  conquests 
the  sun  will  look  down  on  no  country  that  borders  on  his.     But  the  boast  was 
a  common  one  with  the  Spaniards  of  the  sixteenth  and  seventeenth  centuries, 
and  is  frequently  alluded  to  in  the  literature  of  other  countries. 
Altera  figlia 
Di  quel  monarca,  a  cni 
Ne  anco  quando  annotta,  il  sol  traraonta. 

("The  proud  daughter  of  that  monarch  to  whom  when  it  grows  dark  [elsewhere]  the  sun 
never  sets"). — Guarini  :  Pastor  Fido  (1590).  (On  the  marriage  of  the  Duke  of  Savoy  with 
Catherine  of  Austria.) 

Why  should  the  brave  Spanish  soldier  brag  the  sun  never  sets  in  the  Spanish  dominions, 
but  ever  shineth  on  one  part  or  other  we  have  conquered  for  our  king?— Captain  John 
Smith:  Advertisements  for  the  Unexperienced,  etc.  (Mass.  Hist.  Soc.  Coll.,  third  series, 
vol.  iii.  p.  49). 

It  may  be  said  of  them  [the  Hollanders]  as  of  the  Spaniards,  that  the  sun  never  sets  on 
their  dominions. — Gagb  :  New  Survey  0/  the  West  Indies:  Epistle  Dedicatory  {hondon, 
1648). 

The  King  of  Spain  is  a  great  potentate  :  he  has  one  foot  in  the  East  and  the  other  in  the 
West,  and  the  sun  never  sets  without  shining  in  some  of  his  countries. 

The  modern  Englishman  likewise  boasts  that  the  sun  never  sets  on  the 
British  empire,  to  which  his  enemies  have  retorted  that  God  is  afraid  to  trust 
an  Englishman  in  the  dark.  This  boast,  by  the  way,  has  been  most  magnifi- 
cently voiced  by  a  Yankee,  no  less  a  man  than  Daniel  Webster  : 

On  ihis  question  of  principle,  while  actual  suffering  was  yet  afar  off,  they  [the  Colonies] 
raised  their  flag  against  a  power  to  which,  for  purposes  of  foreign  conquest  and  subjugation, 
Rome  in  the  height  of  her  glory  is  not  to  be  compared, — a  power  which  has  dotted  over  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  I041 

surface  of  the -whole  globe  with  her  possessions  and  military  posts,  whose  morning  drum-beat, 
following  the  sun,  and  keeping  company  with  the  hours,  circks  the  earth  with  one  continuous 
and  unbroken  strain  of  the  martial  airs  of  England. — Speech,  May  7,  1834,  p.  no. 

The  martial  airs  of  England 
Encircle  still  the  earth. 

Amelia  B.  Richards. 

It  has  been  pointed   out  that  the  boast  applies  as  well  to  the  United 

States  as  to  England.     The  sun  never  sets  on  American  soil.  When  it  is 

6  P.M.  at  Attoo  Island,  Alaska,  it  is  9.36  A.M.  the  next  day  on  the  eastern 
coast  of  Maine. 

Sun,  To  -worship  the  rising,  a  figure  of  speech  meaning  to  pay  court  to 
the  powers  that  are  gaining  the  ascendency,  just  as  to  turn  your  back  on  the 
setting  sun  means  to  desert  a  lost  cause,  or  a  benefactor  who  has  fallen  into 
disgrace.  Both  phrases  were  known  to  the  Romans,  and  are  first  met  with 
in  Tacitus : 

He  [Tiberius]  upbraided  Macro,  in  no  obscure  and  indirect  terms,  "with  forsaking  the 
setting  sun  and  turning  to  the  rising." — AnnaU,  vi.  52  (46). 

Suns,  Heaven  cannot  support  two,  nor  the  earth  two  masters, 

the  reply  of  Alexander  the  Great  when  Darius,  before  the  battle  of  Arbela, 
sent  to  offer  terms  of  peace  and  a  division  of  his  empire.  (Plutarch  :  Life.) 


Two  stars  keep  not  their  motion  in  one  sphere. 
Nor  can  our  England  brook  a  double  reign — 
Of  Harry  Percy  and  the  Prince  of  Wales. 

Henry  IV.,  Part  I.,  Act  v.,  Sc.  4. 

Supra  Grammaticam  (L.,  "  Above  Grammar"),  a  sobriquet  of  Sigismund 
I.,  Emperor  of  Germany.  We  are  told  by  Suetonius,  in  his  treatise  on 
Grammar,  that  Marcellus  the  Grammarian  had  the  temerity  to  rebuke  even 
the  mighty  and  malevolent  Tiberius  for  a  solecism  in  grammar,  and  when  one 
Ateius  Capito  suggested,  in  a  courtier-like  way,  that  if  the  word  were  not  yet 
good  Latin  it  would  be  so  in  future,  Marcellus  gave  Capito  the  lie,  and,  turn- 
ing to  the  emperor,  cried,  "  Tu  enim,  Caesar,  civitatem  dare  potes  hominibus, 
verbis  non  potes"  ("  Caesar,  you  can  grant  citizenship  to  men,  to  words  you 
cannot").  Hence  the  saying,  "Caesar  non  super  grammaticos"  ("Caesar  is 
not  above  the  grammarians"),  which  Moliere  refers  to  in  the  line  "  La  gram- 
maire,  qui  sait  regenter  jusqu'aux  rois"  ("Grammar,  which  lords  it  even  over 
kings")  {Femnies  Savantes,  Act  ii.,  Sc.  6).  But  Sigismund  I.  disdained  any 
such  limitations  of  imperial  authority.  At  the  Council  of  Constance  (1414) 
he  replied  to  a  prelate  who  had  ventured  to  criticise  his  grammar,  "  Ego  sum 
Rex  Romanus  et  supra  grammaticam"  ("  I  am  King  of  the  Romans  and  above 
grammar"). 

Superfine  Review,  a  sobriquet  applied  to  the  Saturday  Review  by  Thack- 
eray in  his  "Roundabout  Papers."  Here  is  one  of  several  instances.  It 
occurs  in  his  paper  "  De  Juventute  :" 

He  has  a  paper  on  his  knees.  Read  the  name.  It  is  the  Superfine  Review.  It  inclines 
to  think  that  Mr.  Dickens  is  not  a  true  gentleman,  that  Mr.  Thackeray  is  not  a  true  gentle- 
man, and  that  when  one  is  pert  and  the  other  arch,  we,  the  gentlemen  of  the  Superfine  Ke- 
view,  think,  and  think  rightly,  that  we  have  some  cause  to  be  indignant.  The  great  cause 
why  modern  humor  and  modem  sentimentalism  repel  us,  is  that  they  are  unwarrantably 
familiar.  Now,  Mr.  Sterne,  the  Superfine  Reviewer  thinks,  "  was  a  true  sentimentalist,  be- 
cause he  was  above  all  things  a  true  gentleman."  The  flattering  inference  is  obvious  :  let  us 
be  thankful  for  an  elegant  moralist  watching  over  us,  and  learn,  if  not  too  old  to  imitate 
his  high-bred  politeness  and  catch  his  unobtrusive  grace.  If  we  are  unwarrantably  familiar, 
we  know  who  is  not.  If  we  repel  by  pertness,  we  know  who  never  does.  If  our  language 
offends,  we  know  whose  is  always  modest. 

And  here  is  how  the  Saturday  Review  hit  back  at  Mr.  Thackeray : 


I042  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Throughout  these  Roundabout  Papers  Mr.  Thackeray  betrays  the  most  astonishing  sen- 
sitiveness to  criticism,  and  an  almost  personal  feeling  of  dislike  to  all  who  take  upon  them- 
selves to  find  fault  with  them.  The  Saturday  Review  is  a  kind  of  bete  noire  with  him.  Some- 
times he  speaks  of  us  by  name, — sometimes,  by  a  pleasing  stroke  of  satire,  he  calls  us  the 
'•  Superfine  Review."  He  is  indignant  that  his  name  should  be  introduced,  even  indirectly, 
and  that  an  -Vmerican  paper  which  took  upon  itself  to  tell  siories  about  him  should  be  laughed 
at  for  its  folly  and  ignorance.  He  cannot  stand  a  purely  literarj'  discussion  as  to  the  degree 
of  reserve  that  ought  to  accompany  humor.  In  spite  of  all  his  experience  of  men  and  writers, 
he  seems  to  believe  in  his  own  case  what  he  would  know  to  be  absurd  in  the  case  of  any  one 
else  in  his  position,  and  persuades  himself  that  his  superfine  critics  are  evil-minded  envious 
persons  who  want  to  run  down  an  established  reputation.  .  .  .  There  is  something  rather  un- 
satisfactory in  a  writer  like  Mr.  Thackeray  crying  out  because  he  has  remarks  made  about 
him.  If  they  are  really  made  by  mean,  uneducated,  snarling  natures,  the  decorous  course  for 
a  man  who  has  won  his  standing  is  to  pass  such  an  attack  by  in  contempt.  If  the  criticism 
is  only  that  which  Mr.  Thackeray  would,  we  suppose,  call  "  superfine,"  there  is  no  need  to 
be  sore  about  it  even  if  the  author  thinks  it  mistaken,  provided  there  is  nothing  in  the  casual 
remarks  of  the  critic  inconsistent  with  a  permanent,  but  tacit,  recognition  of  the  author's  real 
literary  and  social  standing. 

Swallow.  One  swallow  does  not  make  a  summer,  a  proverb  of 
great  antiquity.  It  may  be  found  in  Aristotle  in  this  form  :  "  One  swallow 
maketh  not  a  spring,  nor  a  woodcock  a  winter."  f^Ethic.  Nicom.,  lib.  i.)  In 
Attica  the  children  were  given  a  holiday  when  the  swallow  first  appeared. 
Horace  connects  the  zephyrs  of  spring  with  the  arrival  of  the  swallow.  In 
Italy  and  Spain  the  proverb  still  runs,  "  One  swallow  does  not  make  a  spring." 
But  in  more  northern  latitudes  the  swallow  appears  later,  and  their  proverbial 
literature  denies  that  a  single  swallow  makes  a  summer.  In  Northbrooke's 
"Treatise  against  Dancing"  (1577)  the  proverb  reads,  "One  swallow  proveth 
not  that  summer  is  near."  Shakespeare,  in  "  Timon  of  Athens,"  Act  iii.,  Sc.  6, 
says,  "  The  swallow  follows  not  the  summer  more  willing  than  we  your  lordship." 

Swan-song.  There  is  an  old  superstition  that  the  swan,  which  is  voice- 
less through  life,  breaks  out  into  song  at  the  approach  of  death.  Plato  in  the 
"  Phaedo"  (85  B.C.)  makes  Socrates  say,  "  I  think  men  are  all  wrong  when  they 
say  that  the  swans  before  death  sing  sadly  bewailing  their  end.  They  sing 
then  most  and  most  sweetly,  exulting  that  they  are  going  to  their  God.  .  .  . 
They  sing  then  not  out  of  sorrow  or  distress,  but  because  they  are  inspired 
of  Apollo,  and  they  sing  as  foreknowing  the  good  things  their  God  hath  in 
store  for  them."  Cicero  says  of  Lucius  Crassus  that  he  spoke  with  the  divine 
voice  of  a  swan  about  to  die.  The  idea  was  doubtless  derived  from  the 
Pythagorean  notion  that  the  souls  of  poets  pass  after  death  into  the  bodies 
oFswans,  retaining  all  their  powers  of  harmony.  Virgil  was  called  the  Swan 
of  Mantua,  and  Shakespeare  in  modern  classic  times  the  Swan  of  Avon. 
But  the  burden  of  proof  lies  with  those  who  assert  that  swans  "expire  with 
the  notes  of  their  dying  hymn."  Scaliger  ridicules  the  idea  of  the  poets,  and 
the  throat  and  vocal  organs  of  the  swan  are  so  constructed  as  to  resemble 
the  trumpet  more  than  any  other  musical  instrument.  But  the  ancients  were 
not  naturalists  at  all  in  our  sense  of  that  word.  The  booming  of  the  bittern 
was  enough  to  satisfy  Pliny  that  there  was  a  god  in  the  marshes  of  Southern 
Gaul  who  took  the  form  of  an  ox.  One  ancient  notion  was  that  the  music 
of  the  swan  was  produced  by  its  wings  and  inspired  by  the  zephyr :  Sir 
Thomas  Browne  alludes  to  this  : 

Not  in  more  swelling  whiteness  sails 

Cayster's  swan  to  western  gales. 

When  the  melodious  murmur  sings, 

'Mid  her  slow-heaved  voluptuous  wings. 

Still,  there  is  a  swan  which  may  be  said  to  sing,  and  the  ancients  may  have 

heard  it  or  heard  of  it.     Mr.  Nicol   in  his  valuable  account  of  Iceland  thus 

describes  the  Cygnus  musicits  which  frequents  the  rivers  and  lakes  of  Iceland  : 

"The  wild  or  whistling  swan  with  pure  white  plumage,  five  feet  long  and  eight 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1 043 

feet  broad  with  extended  wings.    Some  remain  in  Iceland  all  winter,  and  during 
the  long  dark  nights  their  wild  song  is  often  heard,  resembling  the  tones  of  a 
violin,  though  somewhat  higher  and  remarkably  pleasant."     Henderson  says 
of  the  river  Nordura  in  Iceland,  "The  bleakness  of  the  surrounding  rocks 
was   greatly  enlivened   by  the   number   of  swans   that  were    swimming  and 
singing  there  most  melodiously."     Erman  in  his  "Travels  in  Siberia,"  trans- 
lated by  Cooley,  says  of  the  Cygnus  olor,  "This  bird  when  wounded  pours 
forth  its  last  breath  in  notes  most  beautifully  clear  and  loud." 
'Tis  strange  that  death  should  sing. 
I  am  the  cygnet  to  this  pale  faint  swan, 
\Vho  chants  a  doleful  hymn  to  his  own  death. 
And  from  the  organ-pipe  of  frailty  sings 
His  soul  and  body  to  their  lasting  rest. 

Shakespeare:  King  yohn.  Act  v.,  So.  7. 
I  will  play  the  swan, 
And  die  in  music. 

(9/A^//<7,  Act  v.,Sc.  2. 
There,  swan-like,  let  me  sing  and  die. 

BvBON  :  Don  yuan,  Canto  iii..  Stanza  86. 
Swans  sing  before  they  die  :  'twere  no  bad  thing 
Did  certain  persons  die  before  they  sing. 

Coleridge. 

Sv/^eetness  and  light,  a  favorite  phrase  of  Matthew  Arnold's,  who  bor- 
rowed it  with  due  credit  from  Swift,  and  rang  the  changes  on  it  so  persistently 
that  it  has  come  to  be  looked  upon  as  the  key-note  of  his  moral  and  literary 
creed.  Here  is  the  passage  in  which  it  first  occurs :  "  The  Greek  word 
euphuia,  a  finely-tempered  nature,  gives  exactly  the  notion  of  perfection  as 
culture  brings  us  to  conceive  it ;  a  harmonious  perfection,  a  perfection  in 
which  the  characters  of  beauty  and  intelligence  are  both  present,  which  unites 
•the  two  noblest  of  things,' — as  Swift,  who  of  one  of  the  two,  at  any  rate,  had 
himself  all  too  little,  most  happily  calls  them  in  his  '  Battle  of  the  Books,' — 
•the  two  noblest  of  things,  sweetness  and  light.'  The  eiiphnes,  I  say,  is  the 
man  who  tends  towards  sweetne.vs  and  light ;  the  aphues,  on  the  other  hand, 
is  our  Philistine."  [^Culture  aitJ  Anarchy.)  Swift  put  the  words  into  the 
mouth  of  .^sop,  who,  pleading  the  cause  of  ancient  authors,  likens  them  to 
bees,  and  says  that  "instead  of  dirt  and  poison  (such  as  are  collected  by 
modern  authors,  or  spiders)  we  have  rather  choose  \sic\  to  fill  our  hives  with 
honey  and  wax,  thus  furnishing  mankind  with  the  two  noblest  of  things,  which 
are  sweetness  and  light." 

To  THE  Editor  of  the  Times  :—\  should  like,  with  your  permission,  to  point  out  a  lit- 
erary coincidence  which  strikes  me  as  not  a  little  remarkable  and  interesting.  Among  the 
many  happy  phrases  which  we  owe  to  the  late  lamented  Matthew  Arnold,  none  is  more 
familiar  than  "  Sweetness  and  light."  I  have  been  told,  indeed,  that  he  was  not  the  author 
of  the  phrase,  and  that  he  himself  acknowledged  he  was  indebted  for  it  to  Swift ;  but,  at  any 
rate  if  the  mint  were  not  his,  he  it  was  that  made  it  a  part  of  the  current  coin  of  literature. 
But 'the  remarkable  thing  is  that  the  same  association  of  ideas,  though  expressed  by  means 
of  verbs  instead  of  nouns,  is  to  be  found  in  an  author  from  whom  1  suppose  it  is  quite  certain 
Swift  could  not  have  borrowed  it.  I  was  startled  when  I  came  iipon  the  passage  in  Fhilo 
Judsus.  Philo  is  speaking  of  the  manna  which  was  the  food  of  the  Israelites  in  the  wilder- 
ness, and,  as  is  his  wont,  gives  it  a  mystical  signification.  It  means,  he  says,  the  food  of  the 
soul  •  it  is  a  Divine  word,  whence  flow  all  the  nurture  and  discipline  of  the  soul,  all  its  wis- 
dom and  virtue  in  perennial  stream.  And  then  he  asks,  "  What  is  the  bread  ?  (which  Moses 
gave  the  children  of  Israel  to  eat),  and  the  answer  is,  "  It  is  the  word  which  the  Lord  or- 
dained, and  this  Divine  ordinance  imparts  both  light  and  sweetness  to  the  soul  which  has 
eyes  to  see."  Philo's  order  is  more  logical,  for  the  "  light"  must  precede  the  sweetness 
Probably  in  English  the  rhythmical  balance  of  the  words  decided  the  order  "  sweetness  and 
light  "  not  "  light  and  sweetness."  On  the  other  hand,  it  may  be  said  that  the  natural  order 
is  in  the  Greek  also  the  rhythmical.  This  is  an  instance  in  which  even  a  trick  of  'he  memory 
is  out  of  the  question.  Swift,  I  take  it.  never  read  a  line  of  Philo.  I  only  regret  that,  though 
I  lighted  upon  the  discovery  before  Matthew  Arnold's  death,  I  omitted  to  tell  l*'™  "^ '';^f  °  °"' 
would  have  been  more  interested  than  he  in  such  a  hterary  comcidence.— Z^»f  A«  Itmes,  lua/. 

UNIVERSITY 


I044  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Swim,  In  the,  a  slang  term,  equivalent  to  the  French  "  dans  le  niouve- 
ment,"  "dans  le  train,"  meaning  in  the  current  movement,  whether  in  poli- 
tics, literature,  or  society,  abreast  of  the  times,  in  the  inner  circle,  etc.  The 
figure  is  undoubtedly  derived  from  a  "  swim"  or  school  of  fish. 

S-winging  round  the  circle,  a  phrase  by  which  President  Andrew  John- 
son described  his  Western  trip  in  1866  during  his  quarrel  with  Congress.  The 
ostensible  objective  point  was  Chicago,  whither  he  had  been  invited  to  attend 
the  laying  of  the  corner-stone  of  the  monument  to  Stephen  A.  Douglas.  He 
was  attended  by  a  large  party,  and  made  stops  at  all  the  larger  cities,  deliver- 
ing political  speeches,  not  always  in  good  taste  or  sufficiently  good  temper, 
according  to  his  adversaries.  The  phrase  was  turned  against  him  by  his 
opponents,  who  used  his  own  words  in  a  condemnatory  way  of  describing  his 
tour. 

Swinish  multitude.  In  his  "Reflections  on  the  Revolution  in  France," 
vol.  iii.  p.  335,  Burke  pictures  a  period  when  "learning  will  be  cast  into  the 
mire,  and  trodden  down  under  the  hoofs  of  a  swinish  multitude."  His  ene- 
mies caught  up  the  phrase  as  meaning  that  Burke  actually  looked  upon  the 
people  at  large  as  no  better  than  swine,  and  the  catch-words  "the  swinish 
multitude"  were  echoed  from  one  end  of  the  country  to  the  other  to  excite 
popular  indignation.  But,  indeed,  even  if  he  had  meant  to  bring  this  sweep- 
ing charge,  he  would  not  have  been  more  haughtily  undemocratic  than  many 
other  intellectual  princes.  The  "  Odi  profanum  vulgus  et  arceo"  ("  I  hate 
the  profane  and  vulgar  herd  and  keep  away  from  it")  of  Horace  (Odes, 
III.,  i.  i)  has  been  echoed  and  re-echoed.  The  "many-headed  multitude"  of 
Shakespeare  and  Sir  Philip  Sidney,  in  itself  a  hardly  complimentary  phrase, 
becomes  intensified  into  the  "  many-headed  monster"  of  Massinger  and  Pope  : 

There  still  remains  to  mortify  a  wit 

The  many-headed  monster  of  the  pit. 

Satires,  Ep.  i.,  Book  ii.,  1.  304. 

A  far  more  unpleasant  phrase,  "  the  unwashed,"  or  "  the  great  unwashed," 
is  sometimes  attributed  to  Burke,  probably  through  a  confusion  with  "the 
swinish  multitude."     In  fact,  it  seems  to  have  been  a  gradual  evolution  from 
the  Shakespearian  line  uttered  by  Hubert  de  Burgh, — 
Another  lean  unwashed  artificer. 

King  John,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  2. 

This  line,  humorously  applied  to  special  members  of  the  artisan  class,  led 
to  the  designation  of  the  entire  class  as  unwashed,  and  so,  by  a  natural  ex- 
tension, the  phrase  drew  in  all  the  masses. 


T. 

T,  the  twentieth  letter,  and  the  sixteenth  consonant,  of  the  English  alphabet. 
In  the  Phoenician  alphabet  it  was  the  twenty-second  and  last  letter.  The 
succeeding  letters  in  our  alphabet,  as  in  the  Latin  and  the  Greek,  were  gradual 
accretions. 

T.  It  suits  to  a  T.  The  T,  T-square  or  T-rule,  is  an  instrument  (so 
called  from  its  resemblance  to  a  capital  T)  used  by  mechanics  and  draughts- 
men where  great  exactness  and  nicety  are  required,  especially  in  making 
angles  true  and  obtaining  perpendiculars  on  paper  or  wood.  Hence  the  ex- 
pression "  It  suits  to  a  T"  means  that  a  certain  thing  is  exactly  right  in  every 
way,  as  a  piece  of  workmanship  would  be  when  measured  by  the  T-square. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1045 

Another  explanation  of  the  phrase  is  that,  as  t  is  the  final  letter  of  the  word 
suit,  "suits  to  a  /"  means  suits  completely  and  absolutely. 

T.  D.  Pipe,  a  cheap  clay  pipe,  said  to  take  its  name  from  Timothy  Dexter, 
an  eccentric  cajjitalist,  who  in  his  will  left  a  large  sum  of  money  to  be  ex- 
pended in  the  erection  of  a  factory  where  such  pipes  were  to  be  manufactured. 
He  was  born  at  Maiden,  Massachusetts,  in  1793,  and  at  an  early  age  appren- 
ticed to  a  tanner.  On  attaining  the  age  of  twenty-one  he  went  into  business 
for  himself,  and  amassed  a  fortune.  He  then  moved  to  Newburyport  and 
styled  himself  Lord  Timothy  Dexter.  He  adorned  his  grounds  with  wooden 
statues  costing  fifteen  thousand  dollars,  dressed  in  a  half-military,  half-classic 
style,  and  rode  in  a  coach  that  imitated  the  cars  of  the  heathen  deities.  He 
wrote  a  book,  "  Pickle  for  the  Knowing  Ones  ;  or.  Plain  Truth  in  a  Home- 
spun Dress."  It  was  entirely  without  punctuation  in  the  first  edition.  On 
the  last  page  of  the  second  edition  he  inserted  this  note  : 

Fourder  mister  printer  the  Nowing  ones  complane  of  my  book  the  fust  edition  had  no  stops 
I  put  in  A  nuf  here  and  they  may  pepper  and  salt  it  as  they  plese. 

Here  follows  a  quantity  of  all  sorts  of  punctuation-marks.     His  life  has  been 
written  by  Samuel  L.  Knapp. 

Take  aback  seat.  To,  in  American  slang,  to  retire  into  obscurity,  to  with- 
draw from  public  notice  as  a  confession  of  failure.  Though  the  phrase  was 
current  before  Andrew  Johnson's  Presidency,  it  was  he  who  gave  it  a  "send- 
oflf"  in  his  famous  saying  that  in  the  work  of  reconstruction  traitors  should 
take  back  seats. 

Who  will  say  that  the  Britishers  are  not  a  forbearing  and  forgiving  race,  and  the  inhabitants 
of  Stratford-on-Avon  don't  by  any  means  take  a  back  seat  in  that  line?  Ignatius  Donnelly 
actually  visited  the  birthplace  of  Shakespeare  and  wasn't  lynched  !  Far  from  it :  he  was  hos- 
pitably received  and  entertained. —  Texas  Si/tings,  1888. 

Taking  a  sight,  the  common  name  for  a  gesture  which  is  thus  described 
by  Rabelais,  Book  ii.,  chap.  xix.  :  "  Panurge  suddenly  lifted  up  in  the  air  his 
right  hand,  and  put  the  thumb  thereof  into  the  nostril  of  the  same  side,  hold- 
ing his  four  fingers  straight  out."  The  gesture  is  a  very  old  one.  Captain 
Marryat,  in  his  "Jutland,"  gives  it  a  quasi-divine  origin  :  "Some  of  the  old 
coins  found  in  Denmark  represent  the  god  Thor, — and  what  do  you  imagine 
he  is  doing  .>  Why,  applying  his  thumb  to  the  end  of  his  nose,  with  his  four 
fingers  extended  in  the  air."  If  so,  there  can  surely  be  nothing  profane  in 
the  story  of  the  English  bishop  who  remonstrated  with  a  clergyman  for 
driving  tandem.  The  latter  admitted  the  offence,  but  refused  to  see  any 
harm  in  it.  "I  drive  two  horses,"  he  said,  "so  does  your  lordship,  only 
yours  are  abreast,  while  one  of  mine  goes  ahead  of  the  other.  The  difference 
is  a  mere  form." 

"True,"  replied  the  bishop,  "it  is  a  matter  of  form,  but  then  form  is  so 
much,  after  all.  For  instance,  in  pronouncing  the  benediction,  if  you  spread 
the  hands  so"  (making  the  usual  gesture  as  he  spoke),  "  you  are  perfectly 
right ;  but  if  you  were  to  spread  them  so'"  (making  another  gesture  with 
thumb  to  nose  and  hands  tandem-fashion),  "it  would  hardly  be  the  same 
thing." 

The  gesture  was  at  one  time  known  as  "  Queen  Anne's  Fan.  The  above 
term  is  more  recent :  for  a  suggested  origin  see  Walker.  It  is  a  matter  of 
dispute  whether  in  Shakespeare's  time  the  act  was  known  as  biting  one's 
thumb.     If  so,  the  following  passage  acquires  a  new  meaning : 

Abraham.   Do  you  bite  your  thumb  at  us,  sir? 

Sampson.   I  do  bite  my  thumb,  sir. 

Abraham.  Do  you  bite  your  thumb  at  us,  sir  ?  ,       ...  .        u     • 

Samison.  No.  sir.  I  do  not  bite  my  thumb  at  you,  sir,  but  I  bite  my  thumb,  sir. 

■^  Romee  and  yuliit.  Act  1.,  Sc.  x. 

8S 


I046  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Tall  men  and  short.  James  I.,  King  of  England,  asking  the  Lord-Keeper 
Bacon  what  he  thought  of  the  French  ambassador,  he  answered  that  he  was 
a  tall  and  proper  man.  "Ay,"  replied  the  king,  "but  what  think  you  of  his 
head-piece  ?  Is  he  a  proper  man  for  an  ambassador  ?"  "  Sir,"  said  Bacon, 
"tail  men  are  like  high  houses,  wherein  commonly  the  uppermost  rooms  are 
worst  furnished." 

Fuller  probably  remembered  this  when  he  wrote, — 

Often  the  cockloft  is  empty  in  those  whom  Nature  hath  built  many  stories  high. — Andro- 
nicus,  Sec.  vi.,  par.  i8,  i. 

And  so  did  Butler  in  the  following  : 

Such  as  take  lodgings  in  a  head 
That's  to  be  let  unfurnished. 

Htidiiras,  Part  i.,  Canto  i.,  1.  i6i. 

Watts,  who  was  himself  a  small  man,  thus  consoles  himself  for  the  defect : 

Were  1  so  tall  to  reach  the  pole. 

Or  grasp  the  ocean  with  my  span, 
I  must  be  measured  by  my  soul : 

The  mind's  the  standard  of  the  man. 

Watts  :  Horn  Lyricce  :  False  Greatness. 

He  may  have  had  in  mind  these  passages  in  the  classics : 

I  do  not  distinguish  by  the  eye,  but  by  the  mind,  which  is  the  proper  judge  of  the  man. — 
Seneca  :   On  a  Happy  Li/e,  ch.  i. 

It  is  the  mind  that  makes  the  man,  and  our  vigor  is  in  our  immortal  soul. — Ov:d  :  Meta- 
morphoses, xiii. 

These  lines  of  Jonson  hardly  refer  to  physical  stature,  yet  they  may  be 
quoted  in  this  connection  : 

In  small  proportion  we  just  beauties  see, 
And  in  short  measures  life  may  perfect  be. 

JoNSOiN  :    To  the  hnmortal  Metnory  of  Sir  Lucius 
Cary  and  Sir  Henry  Morison. 

Tally  man,  Tally  woman,  indicating  a  man  and  woman  living  together 
without  marriage,  are  terms  used  in  English  mining-districts.  Coal-miners 
use  tallies  in  their  occupation,  and  at  many  pits  it  is  customary  to  send  the 
tubs  of  coal  to  bank  with  tin  tallies  attached,  each  tally  bearing  the  number 
of  the  bank,  or  benk,  where  the  coal  has  been  got  in  the  mine.  In  this  way 
the  coal  is  credited  to  the  proper  miner.  So,  figuratively,  a  man  and  a  woman 
living  together  without  marriage  bear  each  other's  tally  as  a  sign  of  temporary 
ownership. 

Tantamount.  In  dictionaries,  this  word,  meaning  "  equivalent  in  value 
or  signification,"  is  designated  as  of  French  origin.  Locke  seems  to  use  it 
in  that  sense  :  "  If  one-third  of  our  coin  were  gone,  and  men  had  equally 
one-third  less  money  than  they  have,  it  must  be  tantamount,  what  I  scape  of 
one-third  less  another  must  make  up."  There  are  other  uses  of  the  word, 
by  which  its  original  meaning  is  deduced. 

The  Rev.  Edward  Clarke,  in  his  letters  concerning  the  Spanish  nation, 
1760-1761,  4to,  p.  199,  while  describing  the  churches  in  Segovia,  notices  that 
of  St.  Dominic,  a  noble  gothic  structure,  built  about  1406,  having  cut  on  the 
stone  beneath  the  cornice  continued  under  the  roof  outside  a  representation 
of  the  words  "Tanto  Monta"  in  old  characters,  the  meaning  of  which  is,  that 
when,  by  the  marriage  of  Ferdinand  and  Isabella,  in  1474,  the  kingdoms  of 
Spain  and  Castile  were  united,  they  made  this  Spanish  proverb,  "Tanto 
monta,  monta  tanto  Isabella  como  Fernando," — that  is  to  say,  Isabel  is  as  good 
as  Ferdinand,  and  Ferdinand  as  Isabel.  Hence  comes  our  English  word 
tantamount. 

Another  similar  account  occurs  in  Udal  ap  Rhys's  "Account  of  Spain," 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1047 

1749,  8vo,  p.  14,  when,  speaking  of  the  privileges  formerly  pertaining  to  the 
Aragonese,  he  notices  one  that  related  to  the  terms  and  conditions  upon 
which  they  chose  their  kings.  The  form  was  as  follows  :  "  Nos,  que  valeinos 
tanto  como  vos,  os  hazemos  nuestro  Key  y  Senor,  con  tal  que  guardeis  nuestro 
Fueros  y  Libertades.  Si  no,  no."  ("  We,  who  are  as  good  as  you,  make 
you  our  Lord  and  King,  provided  you  maintain  our  Rights  and  Liberties.  If 
not,  no.")  This  privilege  the  people  of  Aragon  retained  till  about  the  end 
of  the  eleventh  century,  when  it  was  abrogated  by  King  Pedro  the  First. 

Tarring  and  Feathering.  This  uncomfortable  mode  of  punishment  dates 
back  to  mediaeval  Europe.  An  ancient /ad/iau  tells  how  a  certain  matron,  to 
rid  herself  of  the  dishonorable  importunities  of  a  cure,  a  provost,  and  a 
forester,  made  appointments  with  all  three,  and  then  contrived  that  they 
should  be  stripped  and  thrown  into  a  cask  of  feathers,  whence  they  were 
hunted  by  her  husband,  with  the  dogs  and  the  villagers  at  their  heels.  In 
England  the  penalty  was  legally  introduced  in  1189,  when  Richard  I.,  before 
setting  out  on  the  third  Crusade,  ordained,  with  a  view  to  preserving  the  dis- 
cipline of  his  fleet,  that 

A  robber  who  shall  be  convicted  of  theft  shall  have  his  head  cropped  after  the  fashion  of  a 
champion,  and  boiling  pitch  shall  be  poured  thereon,  and  the  feathers  of  a  cushion  shall  be 
shaken  out  on  him,  so  that  he  may  be  known,  and  at  the  first  land  at  which  the  ship  shall 
touch  he  shall  be  set  on  shore. — Roger  dk  Hoveden  :  Annates  Rerutn  Anglicarum. 

In  modern  times,  and  especially  in  some  of  the  Western  States  of  America, 
the  practice  has  found  favor  with  the  populace  as  a  means  of  executing  sum- 
mary justice  on  an  offender  whom  the  law,  perhaps,  shows  no  anxiety  to 
reach.  Sydney  Smith  once  said  to  Samuel  Rogers,  "  My  dear  Rogers,  if  we 
were  both  in  America  we  should  be  tarred  and  feathered  ;  and,  lovely  as  we 
are  by  nature,  I  should  be  an  ostrich  and  you  an  emu." 

Tartar,  To  catch  a,  a  proverbialism  which  has  many  parallels,  as  the 
Roman  proverb  "to  hold  a  wolf  by  the  ears,"  and  the  modern  slang  phrase 
"to  bite  off  more  than  one  can  chew,"  or  the  common  saying  "to  rouse  a 
hornets'  nest,"  all  implying  the  getting  more  than  one  bargained  for.  Grose 
tells  the  tale  of  an  Irish  soldier  in  the  Imperial  service  who  shouted  in  battle 
to  his  comrade  that  he  had  caught  a  Tartar.  "  Bring  him  along,  then,"  said 
his  mate.  "  But  he  won't  come,"  cried  Paddy.  "  Then  come  yourself,"  said 
his  comrade.  "  Arrah  !"  cried  Paddy,  "  I  wish  I  could,  but  he  won't  let  me." 
A  variant,  in  which  the  tables  are  turned,  is  that  of  the  gentleman  who  one 
day  was  surprised  in  his  palace  by  the  apparition  of  a  ferocious-looking  bit 
of  humanity,  unmistakably  a  Tartar.  Sitting  paralyzed  with  fear  while  the 
barbarian  began  gathering  such  costly  objects  lying  about  as  pleased  his 
fancy,  the  door  opened,  and  a  beautiful  woman  walked  in.  At  sight  of  her 
the  robber  dropped  everything,  and,  picking  her  up,  carried  her  off.  "  Alas," 
cried  the  poor  gentleman,  as  they  disappeared  in  the  distance,  "  I  have  lost 
my  wife.     But  God  help  the  Tartar." 

A  correspondent  of  Notes  atid  Queries  (sixth  series,  viii.  226)  mentions  an 
analogous  Lincolnshire  saying,  "  I've  got  her  yet,  like  Billy  Joy's  cow,"  of 
which  the  following  explanation  had  been  given  to  him.  "A  certain  small 
yeoman,  Billy  Joy  by  name,  once  upon  a  time  went  to  Caistor  Fair  to  buy  a 
cow.  On  returning  with  his  purchase  he  led  her  by  a  rope  round  the  horns, 
the  other  end  of  which  he  kept  in  his  hand,  but,  being  naturally  a  lazy  fellow, 
at  last  tied  it  round  his  waist.  The  day  was  hot,  and  the  '  bees  was  fell,' 
and  so  it  came  that  on  passing  Caborne  horse-dike  the  cow  took  to  the  water, 
dragging  her  master  with  her,  to  the  great  amusement  of  the  on-lookers,  to 
the  other  side.  All  this  time  Billy,  wishing  to  make  the  best  of  his  enforced 
position,  kept  tugging  at  the  rope,  and  calling  out,  '  I've  got  her  yet !  I've  got 
her  yet !' " 


1 048  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Tawdry.  Saint  Etheldreda,  or  Saint  Audry,  was  the  daughter  of  a  king 
of  East  Anglia,  who  died  abbess  of  the  convent  of  Ely,  which  she  founded  on 
the  spot  where  the  cathedral  stands.  At  the  fair  of  Saint  Audry  at  Ely  in 
former  times  toys  of  all  sorts  were  sold,  also  a  description  of  cheap  laces, 
which,  under  the  name  of  "  tawdry  laces,"  long  enjoyed  a  celebrity.  Various 
allusions  to  tawdry  laces  occur  in  Shakespeare,  Spenser,  and  other  writers  of 
their  age. 

One  time  I  gave  thee  a  paper  of  pins. 

Another  time  a  tawdry  lace  ; 
And  if  thou  wilt  not  grant  me  love. 

In  truth  I'll  die  before  thy  face. 

Old  Ballad. 

It  was  a  happy  age  when  a  man  might  have  wooed  his  -wench  with  a  pair  of  kid  leather 
gloves,  a  silver  thimble,  or  with  a  tawdry  lace ;  but  now  a  velvet  gown,  a  chain  of  pearl,  or  a 
coach  with  four  horses  will  scarcely  serve  the  turn. — Rich  :  My  Lady's  Looking- Glass,  1616. 

In  time  the  epithet  tawdry  came  to  be  applied  to  any  cheaply  pretentious 
finery. 

Taxation  -without  representation  is  tyranny,  a  phrase  which  formu- 
lated the  grievances  of  the  American  Colonies  immediately  before  the  Revo- 
lution. When  and  by  whom  it  was  coined  is  not  known,  nor  whether  it 
preceded  or  was  a  reply  to  the  celebrated  pamphlet  which  appeared  in  Eng- 
land about  the  same  tirne,  entitled  "  Taxation  no  Tyranny." 

Lord  Castlereagh  inveighed  against  "  the  ignorant  impatience  of  taxation" 
when  his  proposed  income-tax  was  rejected  by  Parliament  in  1816.  "  Nothing 
is  certain  but  death  and  taxes,"  said  Franklin  in  1789,  in  a  letter  to  M. 
Leroy,  of  the  French  Academy  of  Sciences.  "  Our  constitution  is  in  actual 
operation,  and  everything  appears  to  promise  that  it  will  last,  mais  datis  ce 
monde  il  n^y  a  rien  d' assure  que  la  mart  et  les  impots.^' 

No  statesman  e'er  will  find  it  worth  his  pains 
To  tax  oiu-  labors  and  excise  our  brains. 

Churchili-:  Night,  1.  271. 

Taylor.  General  Taylor  never  surrenders,  a  famous  phrase  at- 
tributed to  General  Zachary  Taylor.  The  story  runs  that  just  before  the 
battle  of  Buena  Vista,  on  the  22d  of  February,  1847,  General  Santa  Anna 
sent  Taylor  a  summons  to  surrender,  stating  that  he  did  so  from  feelings  of 
benevolence,  in  order  to  avoid  unnecessary  bloodshed,  for  his  force  of  twenty 
thousand  men  was  certain  to  crush  the  six  thousand  under  Taylor.  So  far 
the  facts  are  historical.  P.ut  the  story  goes  on  to  say  that  "  Old  Rough  and 
Ready"  sent  back  the  laconic  message  at  the  head  of  this  article.  The  phrase 
entered  largely  into  the  campaign  of  1848,  when  Taylor  ran  for  the  Presi- 
dency, and  it  was  so  effective  as  a  rallying-cry  that  he  did  not  care  to  dispute 
its  authenticity.  But  his  real  answer  to  Santa  Anna  as  ofiicially  stated  (p. 
170,  ''Taylor  and  his  Generals,"  Butler  &  Co.,  Philadelphia,  1847)  ran  as 
follows : 

Head-Quarters  Army  of  Occupation, 

Near  Buena  Vista,  February  22,  1847. 
Sir, — In  reply  to  your  note  of  this  date,  summoning  me  to  surrender  my  forces  at  discretion, 
1  beg  leave  to  say  that  I  decline  acceding  to  your  request. 

With  high  respect,  I  am,  sir, 

Your  obedient  servant, 

Z.  Taylor. 
Major-General  U.  S.  Army  Commanding. 
SeSor  Gen.  D.  Antonio  Lopez  de  Santa  Anna, 

Co»nnander-in-Chii/,  La  Encantada. 

Tears  of  the  sky,  an  obvious  figure  for  dew  or  rain.  Lord  Chesterfield 
says,— 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  I049 

The  dews  of  the  evening  most  carefully  shun, — 
'1  hose  tears  of  the  sky  for  ihe  loss  of  ihe  suil 

AUvice  to  a  Lmiy  in  Autumn. 

Wordsworth,  in  contrasting  Imagination  and  Fancy,  opposes  to  tiiese  lines, 
which  he  slightly  misquotes,  the  beautiful  thought  in  the  ninth  book  of 
"  Paradise  Lost :" 

Sky  loured,  and,  muttering  thunder,  some  sad  drops 

Wept  at  completing  of  the  mortal  sin 

Original. 

"The  associating  link,"  he  says,  "is  the  same  in  each  instance.  Dew  and 
rain,  not  distinguishable  from  the  liquid  substance  of  tears,  are  employed  as 
indications  of  sorrow.  A  flash  of  surprise  is  the  effect  in  the  former  case  ; 
a  flash  of  surprise,  and  nothing  more  ;  for  the  nature  of  things  does  not  sus- 
tain the  combination.  In  the  latter,  the  effects  from  the  act,  of  which  there 
is  this  immediate  consequence  and  visible  sign,  are  so  momentous  that  the 
mind  acknowledges  the  justice  and  reasonableness  of  the  sympathy  in  nature 
so  manifested,  and  the  sky  weeps  drops  of  water  as  if  with  human  eyes,  as 
'  Earth  had  before  trembled  from  her  entrails,  and  Nature  given  a  second 
groan.' " 

Chesterfield's  conceit  has  been  frequently  used,  both  before  and  after  his 
time  : 

And  soon  for  Day  the  skies  sliall  weep. 
Passed  gently  lo  the  realms  of  sleep. 

Mrs.  Euwaku  Liddell:  Songs  in  Minor  Keys  (1881). 


Sweet  day,  so  cool,  so  calm,  so  bright. 

The  bridal  of  the  earth  and  sky. 
The  dew  shall  weep  thy  fall  to-night. 

For  ihou  must  die. 

George  Herbert  :   Virtue. 

Teeth,  To  pull  one's,  a  proverbial  expression  meaning  to  render  harmless, 
to  disarm  by  some  cunning  or  subterfuge,  the  reference  being  to  ^Esop's 
fable  of  the  lion  in  love  with  a  maiden.  She  directed  him  to  pull  his  teeth 
and  trim  his  claws,  and  when  he  had  done  this  he  was  easily  overpowered. 

Soon  after  the  celebrated  coalition  between  Fox  and  Lord  North,  the 
former  was  boasting  at  Brooks's  club-house  of  the  advantageous  peace  he 
had  ratified  with  France,  adding  that  he  had  at  length  prevailed  on  the  court 
of  Versailles  to  relinquish  all  pretensions  to  the  gum-trade  in  favor  of  Great 
Britain.  Selwyn,  who  was  present,  and  to  all  appearance  asleep  in  his  chair, 
immediately  exclaimed,  "  That,  Charles,  I  am  not  at  all  surprised  at ;  for, 
having  permitted  the  French  to  draw  your  teeth,  they  would  indeed  be  fools 
to  quarrel  with  you  about  your  gums." 

Teetotaler,  a  total  abstainer,  teetotal  being  an  emphatic  reduplication 
of  total.  It  is  said  that  Richard  Turner,  an  English  temperance  orator  who 
had  an  impediment  in  his  speech,  would  invariably  speak  of  t-t-total  absti- 
nence. In  derision  his  supporters  were  nicknamed  teetotalers.  This  was 
circa  18^0-35.  On  the  other  hand.  Turner  himself  asserted  that  he  invented 
the  word  and  did  not  stumble  into  it.  This  is  the  epitaph  which  may  be  read 
on  his  tombstone  at  Preston,  near  Manchester:  "Beneath  this  stone  are  de- 
posited the  remains  of  Richard  Turner,  author  of  the  word  Teetotal  as 
applied  to  abstinence  from  all  intoxicating  liquors,  who  departed  this  hie  on 
the  27th  day  of  October,  1846,  aged  56  years." 

Another  origin  of  the  word  is  confirmed  by  the  Rev.  Joel  Jewell  in  a  letter 
to  the  editors  of  the  Century  Dictionary.  In  1818  a  temperance  society 
was  formed  at  Hector,  New  York,  of  which  Mr.  Jewell  became  secretary. 
At  first  they  pledged  themselves  to  abstain  from  distilled  spirits  only,  but  m 


I050  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

January,  1827,  another  pledge  was  introduced,  binding  all  signers  to  total 
abstinence.  The  two  classes  were  distinguished  by  the  initials  O.  P.  (Old 
Pledge)  and  T.  (Total)  ;  and  the  frequent  explanations  necessitated  by  these 
symbols  made  "T — total"  a  familiar  allocution.  It  is  quite  possible  that 
both  derivations  are  correct,  and  that  the  word  originated  independently  in 
the  two  countries. 

Tempest  in  a  teapot.  This  phrase  is  one  of  the  modifications  of  an  old 
proverb  which  can  be  traced  as  far  back  as  the  time  of  Cicero,  who  quotes  it 
as  a  common  saying, — e.g.,  "Gratidius  excitabit  fluctus  in  simpulo,  ut  dicitur" 
("Gratidius  raised  a  tempest  in  a  ladle,  as  the  saying  is").  (De  Legibus,  iii. 
16.)  Athenaeus,  who  wrote  in  the  third  century,  makes  the  flute-player  Dorian 
ridicule  Timotheus,  who  undertook  to  imitate  a  storm  at  sea  on  the  zither, 
by  saying,  "I  have  heard  a  greater  storm  in  a  boiling  pot."  The  French 
form,  "  une  tempete  dans  une  verre  d'eau"  ("a  temj^est  in  a  glass  of  water"), 
was  first  applied  to  the  disturbances  in  the  republic  of  Geneva  near  the  end 
of  the  seventeenth  century,  and  is  variously  attributed  to  the  Austrian  Duke 
Leopold,  to  Paul,  Grand  Duke  of  Russia,  and  to  the  French  author  and  jurist 
Linguet.  Balzac,  in  his  "Cure  de  Tours,"  assigns  the  authorship,  without 
any  apparent  evidence,  to  Montesquieu.  The  English  phrase  is  an  evident 
reminiscence  of  the  French,  "  teapot"  being  substituted  for  the  sake  of 
alliteration,  but  it  is  doubtful  who  first  gave  it  currency.  Lord  North  is  said 
to  have  applied  the  phrase  to  the  outbreak  of  the  American  colonists  against 
the  tax  on  tea  ;  but  Lord  Chatham  is  also  said  to  have  characterized  a 
London  riot  in  the  same  terms. 

Tempora  mutantur  et  nos  mutamur  in  illis  (L.,  "Times  change  and 
we  cliange  with  them"),  a  Latin  expression  of  mediaeval  origin.  It  seems  to 
be  a  misquotation  of  a  line  by  Matthias  Borbonius : 

Omnia  mutantur,  nos  et  mutamur  in  illis. 

Delicia  Poetaruin  Gervianorum,  vol.  i.  p.  685. 

Borbonius  calls  this  a  saying  of  Lotharius  I.  (circa  830).  The  nearest 
approach  in  any  classic  author  is  in  Ovid  : 

Omnia  mutantur  :  nihil  interit. 

Metamorphoses ,  xiv.  fab.  iii. 

Pope  amplifies  the  sentiment  in  "Moral  Essays,"  Epistle  i.,  1.  172, — 
Manners  with  fortunes,  humors  turn  with  climes. 
Tenets  with  books,  and  principles  with  times  ; 

and  Shakespeare, — 

Thus  the  whirligig  of  time  brings  in  his  revenges, 

Tivelfth  Night,  Act  v.,  Sc.  i ; 

and  Herrick, — 

Thus  times  do  shift, — each  thing  his  turn  does  hold  ; 
New  things  succeed,  as  former  things  grow  old. 

CeremoniiS /or  Candlemas  Eve. 

But  the  great  evil  in  such  cases  is  this, — that  we  cannot  see  the  extent  of  the  changes 
wrought  or  being  wrought,  from  having  ourselves  partaken  in  them.  Tempora  mutantur, 
and  naturally  if  we  could  review  them  with  the  neutral  eye  of  a  stranger  it  would  be  impus- 
sible  for  us  not  to  see  the  extent  of  ihose  changes.  But  our  eye  is  not  neutral  ;  we  also  have 
partaken  of  the  changes  ;  et  nos  mutamur  in  illis.  And  this  fact  disturbs  the  power  of 
appreciating  those  changes.— Dh  Quincev. 

Think  what  a  woman  should  be — she  was  that,  a  familiar  epitaphic 
line,  used  with  many  variations  on  English  and  American  monuments.  Thus, 
in  Torrington  Church  yard,  Devon  : 

She  was — but  words  are  wanting  to  say  what. 
Think  what  a  woman  should  be— she  was  that. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1 05 1 

This  is  said  to  have  provoked  the  following  reply : 

A  woman  should  be  both  a  wife  and  mother, 
But  Jenny  Jones  was  neither  one  nor  t'other. 

The  following  epitaph  on  Rev.  Joseph  Green,  who  died  in  1770,  is  in  Barn- 
Stable,  Massachusetts  : 

Think  what  the  Christian  minister  should  be. 
You've  then  his  character,  for  such  was  he. 

There  is  a  remarkable  coincidence  in  the  Shakespearian  phrase, — 
Look  what  a  horse  should  have,  he  did  not  lack. 
Save  a  proud  rider  on  so  proud  a  back. 

Venus  and  Adonis. 

Thirteen,  an  unlucky  number,  especially  in  the  case  of  thirteen  at  table, 
when  one  of  the  diners  will  surely  die  within  the  year.  The  superstition  is 
An  ancient  one  and  widely  prevalent.  There  are  streets  in  Paris  and  other 
French  cities  where  houses  are  numbered  12  bis,  112  bis,  etc.,  in  lieu  of  13  or 
113.  Even  in  America  many  hotels  have  no  room  13.  The  Turks  have 
almost  expunged  the  number  13  from  their  vocabulary.  The  Italians  never 
use  it  in  making  up  the  numbers  for  their  lotteries,  and  in  one  of  their  games 
the  thirteenth  card  bears  the  figure  of  death.  In  almost  all  civilized  coun- 
tries may  be  found  educated  men  and  women  who  would  rather  die  than  sit 
down  thirteen  at  table.  The  Parisian  piqiie-assiette,  \\\\q  lives  by  dining  in 
other  people's  houses,  is 'often  known  as  the  quatorzieme,  it  being  the  chief 
part  of  his  business  to  make  the  fourteenth  to  the  chance  unlucky  number. 
In  New  York  a  club  called  the  Thirteen  Club  was  started  in  18S4  for  the 
express  purpose  of  downing  this  superstition.  The  number  of  members 
always  consists  of  some  multiple  of  thirteen,  they  dine  together  on  the  thir- 
teenth of  every  month,  thirteen  at  a  table,  their  dues  are  thirteen  cents  a 
month,  and  everything  connected  with  the  club  is  arranged  as  far  as  possible 
by  thirteens.  From  year  to  year  they  publish  reports  to  show  that  individu- 
ally and  collectively  they  are  as  healthy,  prosperous,  and  long-lived  as  the 
members  of  any  other  club. 

The  superstition  probably  grew  out  of  the  fact  that  Christ  and  his  apostles 
made  a  total  of  thirteen  at  the  Last  Supper,  and  gained  additional  strength 
and  currency  through  the  Norse  story  of  Loki's  banquet  with  the  gods  in 
Valhalla.     Baldur  was  the  thirteenth  at  the  table,  and  had  to  die. 

Thirteen  is  a  number  peculiarly  belonging  to  the  rebels.  A  party  of  naval  prisoners  lately 
returned  from  Jersey  say  that  the  rations  among  the  rebels  are  thirteen  dried  clams  per  day ; 
..."  that  Mr.  Washington  has  thirteen  toes  on  his  feet  (the  e.xtra  ones  having  grown  since 
the  Declaration  of  Independence),  and  the  same  number  of  teeth  in  each  jaw;  that  the 
Sachem  Schuyler  has  a  topknot  of  thirteen  stiflf  hairs,  which  erect  themselves  on  the  crown 
of  his  head  when  he  grows  mad  ;  .  .  .  that  it  takes  thirteen  Congress  paper  dollars  to  equal 
one  penny  sterling  ;  that  Polly  Wayne  was  just  thirteen  hours  in  subduing  Stony  Point,  and 
as  many  seconds  in  leaving  it ;  that  a  well-organized  rebel  household  has  thirteen  children,  all 
of  whom  expect  to  be  generals  and  members  of  the  High  and  Mighty  Congress  of  the  thirteen 
United  States  when  they  attain  thirteen  years  ;  that  Mrs.  Washington  has  a  mottled  tom-cat 
(which  she  calls,  in  a  complimentary  way,  '  Hamilton')  wth  thirteen  yellow  rings  around  his 
tail,  and  that  his  flaunting  it  suggested  to  the  Congress  the  adoption  of  the  same  number  of 
stripes  for  the  rebel  f^a.^."— London  Ne^wspaper,  1776,  quoted  in  LippincoH  s  Magazine,  July, 
1876. 

This  is  an  ox.  There  is  a  popular  tradition  that  some  painter,  uncertain 
of  his  own  handiwork  or  of  the  acumen  of  his  critics,  wrote  under  an  animal 
which  he  had  painted,  "This  is  an  ox,"  and  so  avoided  all  danger  of  misappre- 
hension. The  story  is  told  in  various  ways,  authorities  differing  widely  not 
only  as  to  the  nationality  of  the  painter,  but  also  as  to  the  |)eriod  at  which  he 
flourished  and  the  nature  of  the  animal  he  portrayed.  Kingsley,  in  "Two 
Years  Ago,"  chap,  vii.,  writes,  "Portrait-painters  now  depend  for  their 
effects  on  the  mere  accidents  of  entourage ;  on  dress,  on  landscape,  even  on 


1 052  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

broad  hints  of  a  man's  occupation,  putting  a  plan  on  the  engineer's  table,  and 
a  roll  in  the  statesman's  hands,  like  the  old  Greek  who  wrote  'This  is  an 
ox'  under  his  picture."  But  Defoe,  in  speaking  of  the  effect  his  famous 
pamphlet  "A  Short  Way  with  the  Dissenters"  iiad  on  the  Dissenters  them- 
selves, and  their  failure  to  comprehend  its  ironical  drift,  says,  "All  the  fault 
I  can  find  in  myself  as  to  these  people  is  that  when  I  had  drawn  the  picture 
I  did  not,  like  the  Dutchman  with  his  man  and  his  bear,  write  under  them, 
•This  is  the  man,  and  this  is  the  bear,'  lest  the  people  should  mistake  me." 

Thistle.  As  to  the  adoption  of  the  thistle  as  an  emblem  of  Scotland  his- 
tory is  silent,  but  tradition  is  as  noisy  as  ever.  The  favorite  legend  tells  how 
the  Danes  were  creeping  silently  one  night  towards  the  Scotch  camp, — in  spite 
of  their  rule,  which  looked  upon  a  midnight  attack  upon  an  enemy  as  unwar- 
rior-like, — when  suddenly  one  of  the  soldiers  set  his  bare  foot  upon  a  thistle. 
The  sharp  points  entered  his  unprotected  flesh  and  drew  from  him  a  cry  of 
pain.  The  Scotch  were  aroused,  and,  falling  upon  the  attacking  Danes, 
defeated  them  with  terrible  slaughter.  Ever  since  that  time  the  Scotch 
have  taken  the  thistle  as  their  emblem. 

Another  legend  tells  how  the  eponymic  Queen  Scotia,  after  a  hard-won 
victory  over  some  nameless  enemy,  threw  herself  on  the  grass  to  rest,  on  the 
very  spot  where  a  thistle  had  elected  to  grow.  It  is  not  mentioned  whether 
she  fought  in  the  national  costume.  But  at  all  events  the  prickly  spines  of 
the  offending  thistle  found  a  lodgement  in  her  fair  flesh.  "  He  that  sitteth  on 
a  nettle,"  says  the  proverb,  "  riseth  up  quickly."  The  same  holds  good 
of  the  thistle.  Scotia  jumped  up  in  an  ecstasy  of  wrath  and  woe  and 
plucked  the  plant  up  by  the  roots.  But  just  as  she  was  about  to  cast  it  from 
her  with  a  trooper-like  expression,  it  struck  her  that  henceforth  the  plant 
should  evermore  be  associated  in  her  mind  with  the  glorious  victory.  She 
placed  it  in  her  casque,  and  from  that  time  the  thistle  became  the  national 
emblem. 

Sir  Henry  Nicholas  traces  the  badge  to  James  III.,  for  in  an  inventory  of 
his  jewels  thistles  are  mentioned  as  among  the  ornaments  ;  but  this  is  hardly 
sufficient  proof  that  the  thistle  had  then  been  adopted  as  the  national  emblem. 
The  first  authentic  mention  of  the  thistle  as  the  national  flower  is  in  Dunbar's 
poem  of  "  The  Thistle  and  the  Rose," — in  which,  by  the  way,  he  gives  the 
rose  the  highest  honor, — which  was  written  in  1503  on  the  occasion  of  the 
marriage  of  James  IV.  to  Margaret  Tudor  of  England. 

What  is  the  true  Scotch  thistle  even  the  Scotch  antiquaries  cannot  decide, 
and  in  this  uncertainty  it  is  safest  to  to  say  that  no  thistle  in  particular  can 
claim  the  sole  honor,  but  that  it  extends  to  every  member  of  the  family  found 
in  Scotland.  The  heraldic  emblem  most  closely  resembles  the  musk-thistle 
{Carduus  nutans). 

Thunder,  Steal  my.  John  Dennis,  critic  and  dramatist  (1657-1734),  was 
the  inventor  of  a  new  species  of  stage  thunder  which  was  used  for  the  first 
time  in  a  play  of  his  own,  "  Appius  and  Virginia."  Even  with  this  assistance 
the  play  was  coldly  received  and  speedily  withdrawn.  Shortly  afterwards, 
being  in  the  pit  at  the  representation  of  "  Macbeth"  (so  Spence  tells  us),  he 
heard  his  own  thunder  made  use  of.  "Damn  them  !"  he  cried,  rising  in  a 
violent  passion,  "  they  will  not  let  my  play  run,  but  they  steal  my  thunder  !" 
The  phrase  has  passed  into  a  proverb.  Pope,  in  the  "  Dunciad,"  has  this 
ugly  hit  at  Dennis  : 

To  move,  to  raise,  to  ravish  every  heart 
With  Shakespeare's  nature,  or  with  Jonson's  art. 
Let  others  aim  :  'tis  yours  to  shake  the  soul 
With  thunder  rumbling  from  the  mustard-bowl. 

Book  ii.,  1.  223. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  105 3 

Pope's  note  to  the  above  is  as  follows  :  "The  old  way  of  making  thunder 
and  mustard  were  the  same  ;  but  since,  it  is  more  advantageously  performed 
by  troughs  of  wood  with  stops  in  them.  Whether  Mr.  Dennis  was  the  in- 
ventor of  that  improvement  I  know  not ;  but  it  is  certain  that,  being  once  at 
a  tragedy  of  a  new  author,  he  fell  into  a  great  passion  at  hearing  some,  and 
cried,  '  'Sdeath  !  that  is  my  thunder  !'  " 

Tick,  a  slang  word  for  credit,  corrupted  from  ticket,  the  seventeenth-cen- 
tury term  for  a  tradesman's  bill.  As  early  as  1609,  Dekker,  in  "The  Gull's 
Horn-Book,"  says,  "No  matter  upon  landing  whether  you  have  money  or 
no, — you  may  swim  in  twentie  of  their  boats  over  the  river  upon  ticket." 
Sedley,  in  "The  Mulberry  Garden"  (1668),  uses  the  modern  corruption  :  "I 
confess  my  tick  is  not  good."  The  French  slang  equivalent  is  "avoir  d. 
lardoise,'"  alluding,  like  our  expression  "  put  it  on  the  slate,"  or  "slate  it,"  to 
the  slate  on  which  accounts  are  recorded  at  wine-shops. 

Fox,  whose  pecuniary  embarrassments  were  universally  recognized,  being  attacked  by  a 
severe  indisposition,  which  confined  him  to  his  apartment,  Dudley  frequently  visited  him. 
In  the  course  of  conversation.  Fox,  alluding  to  his  complaints,  remarked  that  he  was  com- 
pelled to  observe  much  regularity  in  his  diet  and  hours,  adding,  "  I  live  by  rule,  like  clock- 
work." "  Yes,"  replied  Dudley;  "  I  suppose  you  mean  you  go  by  tick,  tick,  tick." — Sir 
Nathaniel  Wraxall  :  Memoirs. 

Tidal  Wave,  an  American  political  figure  of  speech,  applied  to  an  election 
in  which  the  winning  party  is  returned  with  an  overwhelming  and  unprece- 
dented majority.     The  simile  is  obvious. 

Tiger.  As  to  the  origin  of  this  word  in  the  phrase  "  Three  cheers  and  a 
tiger,"  the  following  explanation  has  been  given.  In  1822  the  Boston  Light 
Infantry,  under  Captain  Mackintosh  and  Lieutenant  Robert  C.  Winthrop, 
visited  Salem,  Massachusetts,  and  encamped  in  Washington  Square.  They 
loved  rough-and-tumble  sports,  and  one  day  a  visitor  exclaimed  to  one,  who 
was  more  obstreperous  than  usual,  "  Oh,  you  tiger  !"  The  phrase  became  a 
catch-word,  a  term  of  playful  reproach.  On  the  route  to  Boston  some  mu- 
sical genius  sang  an  impromptu  line,  "Oh,  you  tigers,  don't  you  know,"  to 
the  air  of  "  Rob  Roy  McGregor,  O  !"  The  Tigers  by  name  soon  began  to 
imitate  the  growl  of  their  protonymic.  At  the  end  of  three  cheers  a  "  tiger" 
was  always  called  for.  In  1826  the  same  organization  visited  New  York, 
being  the  first  volunteer  corps  from  Boston  to  visit  another  State.  At  a 
public  festival  the  Tigers  astonished  the  Gothamites  by  giving  the  genuine 
growl.  It  pleased  the  fancy  of  the  hosts,  and  gradually  became  adopted  on 
all  festive  and  joyous  occasions. 

Tiger,  To  buck  the,  in  American  slang,  to  gamble,  and  especially  in  a 
gambling-hell.  Appletons''  Journal  traced  this  use  of  the  word  tiger  to  a 
Chinese  divinity.  A  favorite  figure  of  one  of  the  Chinese  gods  of  gambling 
is  a  tiger  standing  on  his  hind  feet  and  grasping  a  large  cash  in  his  mouth  or 
his  paws.  Sometimes  the  image  is  made  of  wood  or  clay,  or  drawn  on  a 
piece  of  paper  or  board.  The  title  of  the  beast.  His  Excellency  the  Grasping 
Cash  Tiger,  is  frequently  written  on  a  piece  of  paper  and  placed  in  the 
gambling-room  between  two  bunches  of  mock-money  suspended  under  the 
table  or  on  the  wall  behind  it.  This  figure  is  the  sign  for  a  gambling-house  ; 
"The  Fighting  Tiger." 

Time.  Seize  Time  by  the  forelock.  Saturn,  or  Time,  is  usually  de- 
picted as  an  old  man,  bald  but  for  a  single  lock  in  front.  Hence  the  proverb, 
which  is  attributed  to  Pittacus,  one  of  the  Seven  Wise  Men  of  Greece.  He 
is  also  credited  with  its  equivalent,  "  to  know  the  fitting  moment"  Robert 
Southwell  says, — 


[054  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Time  wears  all  his  locks  before, 
Take  thou  hold  upon  his  forehead ; 
When  he  flies,  he  turns  no  more. 
And  behind  his  scalp  is  naked. 
Works  adjourned  have  many  stays. 
Long  demurs  breed  new  delays  ; 


and  Spenser,- 


Tell  her  the  joyous  Time  will  not  be  staid, 
Unlesse  she  doe  him  by  the  forelock  take. 

Ainorelti,  Ixx. 


An  analogous  expression,  "  Strike  when  the  iron  is  hot,"  is  found  every- 
where in  proverbial  literature,  and  harks  back  to  Publius  Syrus  {Maxim  262) : 
•'  You  should  hammer  your  iron  when  it  is  glowing  hot." 
The  familiar  English  proverb 

He  that  will  not  when  he  may. 
When  he  will  he  shall  have  nay, 

finds  a  Latin  original — "  Qui  non  vult  cum  potest,  non  utique  poterit  cum 
volet" — in  the  "  Policraticus,"  Book  viii.,  ch.  xvii.,  of  Joannes  Sarisburiensis 
(John  of  Salisbury,  A.D.  IHO-1180),  who  traces  the  proverb  back  to  St.  Basil. 
A  certain  poor  woman  asked  the  saint  to  plead  her  cause  with  the  governor 
of  a  city.  The  latter  replied  that  he  would  have  helped  her,  but  could  not 
because  she  was  in  debt  to  the  treasury.  Whereupon  Basil  replied,  "  If  you 
really  would  and  cannot,  let  us  say  no  more  about  it ;  but  if  you  can  and  will 
not,  you  will  soon  be  reduced  to  such  a  state  that  you  will  wish  and  not  be 
able."  In  due  time  the  governor  fell  into  disgrace  with  the  Emperor,  was 
imprisoned,  and  was  released  only  through  St.  Basil's  intervention,  after 
which  he  paid  the  woman  twice  as  much  as  she  originally  wanted. 

Time  and  tide  wait  for  no  man,  one  of  a  cycle  of  sayings,  such  as 
"  Delays  are  dangerous,"  "  Seize  Time  by  the  forelock,"  "  Never  put  off  till 
to-morrow  what  you  can  do  to-day,"  etc.,  which  are  common  to  the  proverbial 
literature  of  all  countries.  In  multitudinous  forms  it  reappears  also  in  liter- 
ature. Shakespeare  has  given  the  most  splendid  literary  expression  to  the 
idea  : 

There  is  a  tide  in  the  affairs  of  men. 
Which,  taken  at  the  flood,  leads  on  to  fortune  ; 
Omitted,  all  the  voyage  of  their  life 
Is  bound  in  shallows  and  in  miseries. 

Julius  Ccesar,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  3. 

The  Baconians  in  the  Shakespeare-Bacon  controversy  attach  much  im- 
portance to  the  number  of  parallelisms  in  the  writings  of  the  dramatist  and 
the  philosopher.  None  of  their  citations  is  more  striking  than  the  following 
put  in  apposition  with  the  above  :  "  I  set  down  the  character  and  reputation, 
the  rather  because  they  have  certain  tides  and  seasons,  which  if  they  be  not 
taken  in  due  time  are  difficult  to  recover,  it  being  hard  to  restore  the  falling 
reputation."  [Advattcement  of  Learning.) 

The  word  tide  in  the  proverb  is  now  popularly  taken  as  being  used  in  the 
sense  in  which  Shakespeare  uses  it  in  the  quotation.  This  is  not,  however, 
the  original  meaning  of  the  word  in  the  saw.  Tid,  in  Anglo-Saxon  and  Old 
English,  as  well  as  in  nearly  all  Teutonic  tongues,  means  specific  time  as 
opposed  to  time  in  the  abstract,  hence  season,  opportunity.  We  have  thus, 
still,  Whitsun/ZaV,  Lammas/;(2V,  etc.  Spenser,  in  his  "  Faerie  Queene,"  speaks 
of  his  characters  restmg  "  their  limbs  for  a  tide."'  Blind  Harry,  in  his  "  Wal- 
lace" (written  about  1461),  says,  "Quhat  suld  I  spek  at  this /■/^.?"  ('^  What 
should  I  say  at  this  time  or  on  this  occasion  i"")  In  Scotland  it  is  still 
common  to  speak  of  a  good  tid  for  planting  or  securing  the  crop,  of  the 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1 05 5 

ground  being  in  fine  tid  (condition)  for  sowing,  and  of  a  man  being  in  the  tid 
(humor)  for  doing  such  and  such  a  piece  of  work.  The  saw,  then,  meant 
originally,  "Time  and  season  or  opportunity  wait  for  no  man."  To  tide  over 
a  misfortune  or  an  evil  day  is  to  get  over  it  for  the  time. 

Richard  Grant  White  suggests  that  in  the  Shakespearian  line 
Time  and  the  hour  runs  through  the  roughest  day 

the  words  "  time  and  the  hour"  are  equivalent  to  "  time  and  tide," — the  time 
and  tide  that  wait  for  no  man.  "  That  is,  time  and  opportunity,  time  and 
tide,  run  through  the  roughest  day  ;  the  day  most  thickly  bestead  with  trouble 
is  long  enough,  and  has  occasions  enough  for  the  service  and  the  safety  of  a 
ready,  quick-witted  man.  But  for  the  rhythm,  Shakespeare  would  probably 
have  written  '  Time  and  tide  run  through  the  roughest  day  ;'  but,  as  the  adage 
in  that  form  was  not  well  suited  to  his  verse,  he  used  the  equivalent  phrase, 
time  and  the  hour  (not  time  and  an  hour,  or  time  and  the  hours),  and  the  appear- 
ance of  the  singular  verb  in  this  line  I  am  inclined  to  regard  as  due  to  the  poet's 
own  pen,  not  as  accidental." 

One  thing,  however,  is  very  evident,  that  at  a  comparatively  early  period 
the  original  meaning  of  tide  was  entirely  lost  sight  of: 

Hoist  up  saile  while  gale  doth  last : 

Tide  and  wind  stay  no  man's  pleasure. 

R.  Southwell  :  St.  Peter's  Complaint  (1595). 

Nae  man  can  tether  time  or  tide. 

Burns  :   Tarn  o'  Shunter. 

Tinker's  damn,  Not  •worth  a.  A  tinker's  dam  is  a  wall  of  dough  or 
of  soft  clay  raised  around  a  spot  which  a  plumber,  in  repairing,  desires  to 
flood  with  solder.  The  material  of  this  dam  can  be  used  only  once,  and  is 
thrown  away  after  this  very  temporary  period  of  usefulness.  Hence  the 
proverb  "  not  worth  a  tinker's  dam,"  which  either  through  a  perverse  humor 
or  through  misunderstanding  has  been  converted  into  profanity  by  the  addi- 
tion of  a  final  n.  (See,  also.  Twopenny  Damn.) 

Tip,  colloquial  English  for  a  gratuity,  a  small  present  of  money.  In  America 
the  term  is  usually  confined  to  the  coin  given  a  waiter  or  other  servant.  In 
England  it  is  applied  also,  and  most  frequently,  to  the  money  which  a  parent, 
guardian,  or  relation  adroitly  slips  into  a  school-boy's  hand. 

What  money  is  better  bestowed  than  that  of  a  school-boy's  tip?  How  the  kindness  is 
recalled  by  the  recipient  in  after-days  !  It  blesses  him  that  gives  and  him  that  takes.  Re- 
member how  happy  such  benefactions  made  you  in  your  own  early  time,  and  go  off  on  the 
very  first  fine  day  and  tip  your  nephew  at  school ! — Thackeray  :    The  Newcomes. 

Tip.  To  give  the  straight  tip,  a  slang  phrase  of  English  origin,  and 
probably  primarily  a  turf  phrase,  tip  being  equivalent  to  point.  To  "give  a 
straight  tip"  usually  means  to  give  an  honest  piece  of  advice,  or  a  reliable  bit 
of  private  information.  It  sometimes  means  to  speak  plainly  and  decisively, 
or  directly  to  the  point,  to  deliver  an  ultimatum. 

Tippecanoe,  a  political  nickname  of  William  Henry  Harrison,  ninth  Presi- 
dent of  the  United  States.  It  was  given  him  in  allusion  to  the  victory  won  by 
the  American  troops  whom  he  commanded  in  a  battle  against  the  Shawnee 
and  other  Indians  in  181 1  on  the  banks  of  the  Tippecanoe  River,  a  little  stream 
in  Northwestern  Indiana.  "Tippecanoe  and  Tyler  too"  was  the  refrain  of  a 
popular  campaign  song  during  the  "  Log  Cabin  and  Hard  Cider  Campaign" 
[q.  v.).  At  the  same  election  "Tom"  Corwin  was  the  Whig  candidate  for  the 
office  of  governor  of  Ohio,  and  the  alliterative  sl(>gan  "Tom,  Tip,  and  Ty" 
was  a  popular  party-cry  during  that  campaign,  including  as  it  did  the  abbrevi- 
ated names  of  the  three  principal  candidates,  "  Tom"  Corwin  for  the  gov- 


1056  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

ernorship,  and  Tippecanoe  Harrison  and  John  Tyler  for  tlie  Presidency  and 
the  Vice-Presidency  respectively. 

Tissue  ballots,  ballots  printed  on  very  thin  paper,  enabling  a  voter  readily 
and  without  detection  to  deposit  more  than  one  when  voting.  The  device  is 
said  to  have  been  first  emj^loyed  in  South  Carolina,  and  its  use  is  charged 
against  the  whites  in  the  Southern  States,  where  there  is  a  large  negro  popu- 
lation, as  a  means  to  secure  to  themselves  a  preponderance  in  the  governments 
of  the  States. 

Toad-eater.  This  word  has  been  a  fruitful  subject  of  conjecture  among 
etymologists.  Bishop  Copleston  suggests  a  derivation  from  the  Spanish  todito, 
which  he  says  means  a  factotum,  a  derivation  endorsed  by  Lord  Lyttleton  and 
Cobham  Brewer.  But  factotum  is  a  totally  different  thing  from  toad-eater, 
and  there  is  no  such  word  as  todito  in  Spanish.  Nor  is  it  likely  that  the  term 
has  been  corrupted  from  any  foreign  language,  as  its  use  is  too  recent  to  allow 
of  its  having  undergone  any  serious  modification  from  its  original  form.  In 
Miss  Fielding's  "  David  Simple"  (1744)  the  word  is  used  by  one  of  the  char- 
acters, and  was  then  so  uncommon  that  its  meaning  is  asked  by  another.  "  It 
is  a  metaphor,"  says  the  original  speaker,  "taken  from  a  mountebank's  boy 
eating  toads  in  order  to  show  his  master's  skill  in  expelling  poison.  It  is 
built  on  a  supposition  that  people  who  are  so  unhappy  as  io  be  in  a  state  of 
dependence  are  forced  to  do  the  most  nauseous  things  that  can  be  thought  of 
to  please  and  humor  their  patrons."  This  explanation  is  probably  correct. 
In  the  works  of  Thomas  Brown,  of  facetious  memory,  among  some  letters 
supposed  to  be  written  from  the  dead  to  the  living  is  one  from  Joseph  Haines, 
a  celebrated  mountebaidc  performer  in  Smithfield  (died  1701),  in  the  course  of 
which  he  talks  of  having  "an  understrapper  to  draw  teeth  for  him  and  be  his 
toad-eater  on  the  stage."  There  is  a  similar  French  phrase,  "  avaler  les  cra- 
pauds,"  or,  more  frequently,  "les  couleuvres"  ("to  swallow  adders"),  which 
no  doubt  has  a  similar  history. 

It  may  be  mentioned  as  a  singular  coincidence  that  the  I-atin  for  "toad"  is 
bufo,  or,  in  mid-Latin  and  modern  Italian,  buffo,  which  is  the  same  as  buffoon. 

Too  thin,  now  classed  as  an  Americanism,  in  the  sense  of  inadequate,  trans- 
parent, insufficient,  easily  seen  through,  is  even  in  this  sense  good  old  English 
supported  by  excellent  authority.  Thin  as  a  metaphor  seems  to  involve  the 
idea  of  a  veil  (such  as  the  ancients  called  ventus  textilis,  or  "  woven  wind") 
which  would  serve  to  display  as  much  as  to  conceal  the  person.  Thus,  Shake- 
speare in  "King  Henry  VHI.,"  Act  v.,  Sc.  3,  makes  the  king  say, — 

You  were  ever  good  at  sudden  commendations. 

Bishop  of  Winchester.     But  know  I  come  not 

To  hear  such  flattery  now,  and  in  my  presence  ; 

They  are  too  thin  and  bare  to  hide  offences. 

Precisely  the  modern  sense  :  "  Your  commendations  are  too  thin — i.e.,  too 
transparent — to  hide  your  offences."  In  Smollett's  "  Peregrine  Pickle"  (1751) 
the  hero  informs  Emilia  that  he  is  going  abroad.  Tears  gush  to  her  eyes. 
She  explains  that  the  hot  tea  makes  her  eyes  water.  "  This  pretext,"  says 
Smollett,  "was  too  thin  to  impose  on  her  lover."  The  modern  sense  again. 
Alexander  II.  Stephens  is  said  to  have  revived  the  phrase  and  flung  it  into 
the  currency  of  vernacular  speech.  This  was  in  1870.  In  answer  to  a  Repub- 
lican speech,  he  cried,  in  that  shrill  piping  voice  which  always  commanded 
silence,  "Mr.  Speaker,  the  gentleman's  arguments  are  gratuitous  assertions 
made  up  of  whole  cloth, — and  cloth,  sir,  so  gauzy  and  thin  that  it  will  not 
hold  water.     It  is  entirely  tbo  thin,  sir." 

Toxtjonrs  perdris!  (Fr.,  "Always  partridges!")  a  phrase  expressing  dis- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1057 

satisfaction  at  some  wearisome  repetition.  It  has  some  analogy  with  the 
English  phrase  "  too  much  of  a  good  thing."  The  traditional  story  runs  that 
Henry  IV.,  being  reproved  by  his  confessor  for  certain  conjugal  infidelities, 
turned  round  upon  him  with  the  question,  "  Father,  what  dish  do  you  like  best 
of  all  ?"  "  Partridges,  sire,"  was  the  response.  Shortly  afterwards  the  holy 
man  was  put  under  arrest.  Day  after  day  came  partridges,  and  nothing  but 
partridges,  for  his  meals.  At  last  the  poor  ecclesiastic  turned  with  loathing 
from  his  favorite  dish.  Then  the  king  visited  him  and  asked  solicitously  how 
he  fared.  The  confessor  complained  of  the  incessant  diet  of  partridges. 
"  But,"  said  the  king,  "  you  like  partridges  better  than  anything  else."  "  Mais 
toujours  perdrix  !"  expostulated  the  man  of  God.  Whereupon  Henry  ex- 
plained that  he  for  his  part  was  devoted  to  his  queen  :  "  mais  toujours  per- 
drix !" 

But  in  truth  the  story  dates  long  before  the  time  of  Henry  IV.  It  may  be 
found  in  the  "Cent  Nouvelles  nouvelles,"  compiled  between  1456  and  1461 
for  the  amusement  of  the  Dauphin,  afterwards  Louis  XL,  by  the  noblemen 
and  gentlemen  of  his  court.  It  is  the  tenth  of  the  series.  The  principal 
personage  is  "  un  grand  seigneur  du  royaulme  d'Angleterre,"  the  dish 
"pastes  d'anguilles,"  and  the  person  thus  practically  admonished  to  mind  his 
own  business  the  noble  lord's  favorite  page. 

Juvenal  has  a  phrase  of  similar  import.  Speaking  of  the  wear  and  tear  of 
school-masters'  lives,  bound  to  listen  to  the  same  stale  theme  in  the  same  sing- 
song manner,  he  declares,  "  It  is  the  reproduction  of  the  cabbage  that  kills  the 
poor  wretches"  ("  Occidit  miseros  crambe  repetita,"  Satires,  vii.  154).  Gifford's 
translation  runs, — 

Till,  like  hashed  cabbage  served  for  each  repast, 
The  repetition  kills  the  wretch  at  last. 
There  is  a  reminiscence  here  of  the  old  Greek  proverb  61Q  Kpu/x[3Tj  duvarog, 
which  survives  in  England  in  the  proverbial  phrase  "  colewort  twice  sodden" 
="  stale  news,"  in  Scotland  in  the  similar  "  cauld  kale  het  again,"  and  both 
in  England  and  in  America  in  the  better  known  "  I  don't  boil  my  cabbage 
twice,"  which  is  the  rural  way  of  saying  that  "  Shakespeare  doesn't  repeat." 

Trading.  In  American  vernacular,  trading  means  simply  exchanging  one 
thing  for  another  :  thus,  two  Yankee  boys  would  not  uncommonly  "  trade  jack- 
knives."  In  political  parlance  it  is  the  name  of  a  peculiarly  insidious  form 
of  political  treachery  :  e.g.,  a  governor  is  to  be  elected  in  a  State,  and  at  the 
same  election,  say,  Presidential  electors  ;  the  followers  of  the  gubernatorial 
candidate  of  one  party  agree  with  their  political  enemies  that,  in  return  for  the 
latter  voting  and  procuring  votes  for  their  candidate  for  governor,  they  will 
themselves  vote  and  procure  votes  for  the  others'  candidate  for  President.  The 
practice,  when  a  number  of  officers  are  voted  for,  is  susceptible  of  numerous 
combinations,  and  many  devices  are  resorted  to  to  secure  the  end  in  view. 
A  favorite  method  is  the  printing  and  distribution  of  mixed  tickets,  with  the 
names  of  the  candidates  of  various  parties  conspiring  to  "  trade."  Careless 
and  illiterate  voters  thus  frequently  unwittingly  help  the  "traders." 

Translation,  Curiosities  of.  The  "  traitor  translator"  has  been  a  fruitful 
source  of  wrath  on  the  part  of  the  betrayed  author  and  of  amusement  on  the 
part  of  the  general  public.  Some  of  his  blunders  are  really  bewildering. 
One  can  understand  how  Gibber's  comedy  of  "  Love's  Last  Shift"  lent  itself 
to  travesty  as  "  La  derniere  Chemise  de  I'Amour,"  how  Congreve's  tragedy 
of  "The  Mourning  Bride"  might  become  "  L'Epouse  de  Matin,"  or  how 
"The  Bride  of  Lammermoor"  might  be  turned  into  "  La  Bride  ["the  bridle"] 
de  Lammermoor."  One  can  even  understand  how  the  the  English  student 
could   have   rendered   the   Greek  emhrontetos   (a   thunderstruck,  or   idiotic, 


1058  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

person)  by  "a  thundering  fool."  But  Miss  Cooper,  the  daughter  of  the 
novelist,  tells  a  story  which  is  well-nigh  incredible.  When  in  Paris,  she  saw 
a  French  translation  of  "  The  Spy,"  in  which  a  man  is  represented  as  tying 
his  horse  to  a  locust.  Not  understanding  that  the  locust-tree  was  meant,  the 
intelligent  Frenchman  translated  the  word  as  "  sauterelle,"  and,  feeling  that 
some  explanation  was  due,  he  gravely  explained  in  a  note  that  grasshoppers 
grew  to  an  enormous  size  in  America,  and  that  one  of  them,  dead  and  stuffed, 
was  placed  at  the  door  of  the  mansion  for  the  convenience  of  visitors  on  horse- 
back. Another  case  where  the  translator,  vaguely  conscious  that  his  version 
lacks  intelligibility,  increases  the  fun  by  volunteering  explanations,  is  that  of 
the  Frenchman  who  rendered  a  "Welsh  rabbit"  (in  one  of  Scott's  novels)  "a 
rabbit  of  Wales,"  and  then  inserted  a  foot-note  explaining  that  the  superior 
flavor  of  the  rabbits  of  Wales  led  to  a  great  demand  for  them  in  Scotland, 
where  consequently  they  were  forwarded  in  considerable  numbers.  Far  more 
candid  was  the  editor  of  an  Italian  paper,  //  Giortiale  delle  due  Sicilie,  who, 
translating  from  an  English  newspaper  an  account  of  a  husband  killing  his 
wife  with  a  poker,  cautiously  rendered  the  latter  word  Tts,  pokero,  naively  ad- 
mitting, "  we  do  not  know  with  certainty  whether  this  thing  '  pokero'  be  a 
domestic  or  a  surgical  instrument." 

As  a  rule,  the  public  have  to  bear  this  sort  of  thing  as  well  as  they  can  and 
try  to  lighten  the  burden  by  grinning.  But  in  Paris,  when  IS  Opinion  Nationale 
undertook  to  publish  a  translation  of  "Our  Mutual  Friend"  under  the  title 
of  "  L'Ami  Commun,"  the  readers  arose  en  masse  after  the  first  seven  chap- 
ters had  been  issued,  and  protested  against  the  continuance  of  a  tale  which 
abounded  in  such  monstrous  absurdities.  And  the  public  were  right,  though 
they  probably  held  the  author  rather  than  the  translator  responsible.  A 
literary  gentleman  who  translates  "  a  pea  overcoat"  as  "  un  paletot  du  couleur 
de  puree  de  pois"  ("a  coat  of  the  color  of  pea-soup")  is  capable  of  almost 
any  enormity.  And  in  fact  he  was  guilty  of  the  following.  In  introducing 
Twemlow  to  the  reader,  Dickens  employs  this  language:  "There  was  an 
innocent  piece  of  dinner-furniture  that  went  on  easy  casters,  and  was  kept 
over  a  livery-stable  yard  in  Duke  Street,  St.  James's,  when  "not  in  use,  to 
whom  the  Veneerings  were  a  source  of  blind  confusion.  The  name  of  this 
article  was  Twemlow."  The  rendering  of  this  sentence  was  as  follows  :  "II 
y  a  dans  le  quartier  de  St.  James,  ou  quand  il  ne  sort  pas  il  est  remise  au- 
dessus  d'une  ecurie  de  Duke  Street,  un  meuble  de  salle-a-manger,  meuble 
innocent,  chausse  de  larges  souliers  de  castor,  pour  qui  les  Veneerings  sont 
un  sujet  d'inquietude  perpetuelle.    Ce  meuble  inoffensif  s'appelle  Twemlow." 

But  what  can  be  expected  of  a  nation  where  so  great  a  man  as  Alexandre 
Dumas  undertook  to  introduce  a  translation  of  Goethe's  "  Faust"  in  Paris, 
though  he  confessed  that  he  only  knew  enough  of  the  German  language  to 
ask  his  way,  to  purchase  his  ticket  on  a  railway,  and  to  order  his  meals,  when 
in  Germany  ? 

German,  indeed,  has  proved  as  great  a  stumbling-block  to  our  Gallic  neigh- 
bors as  English.  A  certain  Bouchette,  the  biographer  of  Jacob  Boehm,  gave, 
in  an  appendix,  a  list  of  his  works.  One  of  these  was  Boehm's  "  Reflections 
on  Isaiah  Stiefel."  Now,  Stiefel  was  a  contemporary  theological  writer ;  but 
the  word  stiefel  also  means  a  "  boot,"  and  poor  M.  Bouchette,  knowing  that 
the  subject  of  the  treatise  was  scriptural,  fell  into  the  delicious  error  of  trans- 
lating the  title  as  "  Reflexions  sur  les  Bottes  d'Isaie." 

It  is  well  known  that  Voltaire,  in  his  version  of  Shakespeare,  perpetrated 
several  egregious  blunders  ;  but  even  in  our  own  time  some  of  his  country- 
men have  scarcely  been  more  happy  in  their  attempts  to  translate  our  great 
dramatist's  works.  Jules  Janin,  the  eminent  critic,  rendered  Macbeth's  words 
"Out,  out,  brief  candle  !"   as  "  Sortez,  courte  chandelle  !"    Another  French, 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1059 

writer  has  committed  an  equally  strange  mistake.     Northumberland,  in  the 
"  Second  Part  of  King  Henry  IV.,"  says, — 

Even  such  a  man,  so  faint,  so  spiritless. 

So  dull,  so  dead  in  look,  so  woe-begone. 

The  translator's  version  of  the  words  italicized  is,  "  Ainsi,  douleur,  va-t'-en  !" 
("  Thus,  grief,  go  away  with  you  !") 

In  a  recent  illustrated  catalogue  of  the  Paris  Salon,  which  gives  rough 
sketches  of  the  pictures,  with  their  titles  in  English  and  in  French,  there  is 
one  sketch  representing  a  number  of  nude  ladies  disporting  themselves  in 
the  clouds,  to  which  the  English  inscription  is  "  Milk  Street."  Your  aston- 
ishment is  changed  to  delight  when  you,find  that  this  is  a  translation  of  "  La 
Voie  lactee." 

An  English  temperance  orator  in  Paris  preached  a  sermon  in  French  to  a 
large  audience,  and  at  the  close  of  his  animadversions  recommended  his  aston- 
ished hearers  to  eschew  everything  but  lean  de  vie,  which  means  "  brandy," 
but  by  which  he  intended  "  the  water  of  life." 

The  translation  by  a  miss  in  her  teens  of  "  never  mind"  into  "jamais  esprit" 
is  matched  by  a  version,  which  once  amused  the  undergraduates  of  a  Phila- 
delphia university,  of  the  title  of  a  popular  song.  The  Latin  translation  is  as 
follows  :  "  Qui  crudus  enim  lectus,  albus  et  spiravit."  Our  classical  readers 
might  puzzle  over  the  above  for  a  long  time  without  discovering  that  it  means 
"  Hurrah  for  the  red,  white,  and  blue  !"  But  even  this  was  eclipsed  by  the 
Englishman  who,  coming  to  a  foreign  teacher  to  be  "finished"  in  German, 
was  asked  to  write  a  sentence  in  colloquial  English  and  then  to  translate  it. 
He  wrote,  "  He  has  bolted  and  has  not  settled  his  bill,"  translating  it  by  "  Er 
hat  verriegelt  und  hat  nicht  ansiedelt  seinen  Schnabel."  Verriegdn  meaning 
"  to  bolt  a  door,"  a;/«>^<?/«  "  to  settle  as  a  colonist,"  and  Schnabel  "  ihe  bill 
of  a  bird,"  this  extraordinary  sentence  really  signified,  "  He  has  driven  in  a 
bolt  and  has  not  colonized  his  beak." 

But  the  height  of  pretentious  absurdity  was  reached  in  a  volume  of  trans- 
lations of  Spanish  poems  published  in  London  several  years  ago,  which  con- 
tained such  gems  as  the  following  : 

I  stand  by  smiling  Bacchus, 

In  joy  us  wont  to  wrap  he ; 
The  wise  Dorilla  lack  us 

The  knowledge  to  be  happy. 

What  matters  it  if  even 

In  fair  as  diamond  splendor 
Ihe  sun  is  fixed  in  heaven? 

Me  light  he's  bom  to  render. 

The  moon  is,  so  me  tell  they. 

With  living  beings  swarmy  ; 
"  There  may  be  thousands," — well,  they 

Can  never  come  to  harm  me. 

Transpire.  This  word  (from  the  Latin  trans,  "across"  or  "through,"  and 
spirare,  to  "  breathe")  originally  meant  to  emit  insensible  vapor  through  the 
pores  of  the  skin.  By  a  logical  and  admissible  extension  of  meaning,  it  came 
to  be  used  metaphorically  in  the  sense  of  to  become  known,  to  emerge  from 
secrecy  into  comparative  or  positive  publicity.  But  a  man  who  talks,  as  so 
many  of  our  newspaper  men  insist  on  talking,  of  events  that  have  recently 
transpired,  commits  a  brutal  outrage  on  the  language  which  he  should  cherish 
as  his  birthright. 

Treacle  To'wrn,  a  sobriquet  for  Macclesfield,  England.  This  curious  name 
is  said  to  have  arisen  from  the  accidental  overthrow  of  a  cask  of  treacle  which 
was  left  outside  a  grocer's  shop.     The  mishap  occurred  one  morning  just  as 


lo6o  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

the  work-people  were  on  their  way  to  the  mills,  and  the  treacle  flowing  down 
the  street  was  too  much  for  them.  They  flocked  to  the  spot  to  dip  their 
breakfast  bread  in  the  sticky  stream,  until  at  last  it  seemed  that  the  whole 
town  was  walking  about  eating  bread  and  treacle.  Bristol  has  also  been 
given  the  same  name,  which  in  this  case  arises  from  the  large  quantity  of 
treacle  supplied  by  the  numerous  sugar  refiners  in  and  about  the  town. 

Troy  "Weight.  The  smallest  measure  of  weight  in  use,  the  grain,  has  its 
name  from  being  originally  the  weight  of  a  grain  of  wheat.  A  statute  passed 
in  England  in  1266  ordained  that  thirty-two  grains  of  wheat,  taken  from  the 
middle  of  the  ear  or  head  and  well  dried,  should  make  a  pennyweight,  twenty 
of  which  should  make  an  ounce,  while  twelve  ounces  were  to  make  a  pound. 
The  pound,  therefore,  consisted  then  of  seven  thousand  six  hundred  and 
eighty  grains.  Some  centuries  later  the  pennyweight  was  divided  into  twenty- 
four  grains,  which  make  the  troy  pound,  as  now  used,  five  thousand  seven 
hundred  and  sixty  grains.  The  pennyweight  was  the  exact  weight  of  the  old 
silver  penny. 

Trumpet,  Trumpeter.  The  familiar  phrases  "blowing  your  own 
trumpet,"  and  "your  trumpeter  is  dead,"  implying,  in  an  easy,  jocular  way, 
that  you  have  to  sing  your  own  praises  because  nobody  else  will  do  so  for 
you,  are,  not  impossibly,  derived  from  a  curious  practice  until  recently  sur- 
viving in  Venice.  When  a  student  had  won  any  academic  honors  his  proud 
parents  employed  a  couple  of  men  to  go  through  the  city  proclaiming  the 
fact.  An  eye-witness,  writing  to  the  London  Standard  in  September,  1866, 
thus  describes  the  method  :  "  A  quiet,  respectable-looking  man  was  blowing 
loudly  upon  a  horn,  while  another,  having  the  appearance  of  a  gondolier  out 
of  employ,  stood  by  him.  When  the  first  man  had  done  blowing  his  trumpet, 
he  began  to  read,  in  a  very  loud,  sing-song  tone,  like  that  of  an  English  bell- 
man, from  a  printed  sheet  which  he  held  in  his  hand.  I  could  not  catch  all 
that  he  said,  but  the  purport  was  that  Enrico,  the  excellent  son  of  his  excel- 
lent parents,  Giovanni  and  Gigia  Pacotti,  had  gained  a  prize  at  school,  and 
therefore  Ewiva  Enrico,  Ewiva  Giovanni  and  Gigia,  and  Ewiva  the  rest  of 
their  egregious  family.  He  then  blew  a  loud  blast  upon  his  horn,  and  the 
gondolier,  who  had  been  standing  by  perfectly  impassive,  and  taking  quantities 
of  snuff,  probably  to  give  him  an  appearance  of  unconcern,  immediately  began 
to  halloo  in  a  loud  but  monotonous  voice,  and  without  the  smallest  enthusiasm, 
excitement,  or  even  interest.  Viva,  viva,  viva  I  about  fifty  times,  the  man  with 
the  horn  coming  in  with  a  blast  of  that  instrument  as  a  finale."  It  has  also 
been  suggested  that  the  phrases  have  reference  to  Matthew  vi.  2:  "There- 
fore, when  thou  doest  thine  alms,  do  not  sound  a  trumpet  before  thee,  as  the 
hypocrites  do  in  the  synagogues  and  in  the  streets,  that  they  may  have  glory 
of  men."  It  appears  from  Harmer's  "  Observations,"  vol.  i.  p.  474,  that 
Eastern  customs  tally  with  this.  He  says,  "The  dervishes  carry  horns  with 
them,  which  they  frequently  blow,  when  anything  is  given  to  them,  in  honor 
of  the  donor.  It  is  not  impossible  that  some  of  the  poor  Jews  who  begged 
alms  might  be  furnished  like  the  Persian  dervishes  (who  are  a  sort  of  religious 
beggars),  and  that  these  hypocrites  might  be  disposed  to  confine  their  alms- 
giving to  those  that  they  knew  would  pay  them  this  honor." 

Trust  is  dead.  The  familiar  sign,  "  Old  Trust  is  dead.  Bad  pay  killed 
him,"  is  a  relic  of  antiquity.  In  Coryat's  "  Crudities  hastily  gobled  up  in  five 
moneths  trauells  in  France,  Savoy,  Italy,  Rhetia,  commonly  called  the  Grisons 
country,  Helvetia  alias  Switzerland,  some  parts  of  High  Germany  and  the 
Netherlands,"  a  quarto  printed  at  London  in  1611,  is  the  following  passage: 
"  At  the  south  side  of  the  higher  court  of  mine  inne,  which  is  hard  by  the  hall 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  I061 

(for  there  are  two  or  three  courts  in  that  inne),  there  is  written  this  pretty 
French  poesie  :  '  On  ne  loge  ceans  a  credit ;  car  le  credit  est  mort,  les  mauvais 
payeurs  ront  tue.'  The  English  is  this  :  '  Here  is  no  lodging  upon  credits ; 
for  credit  is  dead,  ill  payers  have  killed  him.'"  A  common  inscription  in 
front  of  Neapolitan  wine-  and  macaroni-houses  is,  "  Domani  si  fa  credenza, 
ma  oggi  no"  ("  To-morrow  we  give  credit,  but  not  to-day"). 

Truth.  What  is  truth  ?  In  the  New  Testament  this  question  asked  by 
Pontius  Pilate  of  Jesus  Christ  remained  unanswered,  for  Pilate  immediately 
left  the  room.  But  in  the  Apocryphal  Gospel  of  Nicodemus,  chapter  iii., 
verses  10-14,  the  conversation  between  Pilate  and  Christ  is  thus  given  : 

Pilate  said,  Art  thou  a  King,  then?  Jesus  answered.  Thou  sayest  that  I  am  a  King;  to 
this  end  I  was  bom,  and  for  this  end  came  I  into  the  world  :  and  for  this  purpose  I  came,  that 
I  should  bear  witness  to  the  truth  ;  and  every  one  who  is  of  the  truth  heareth  my  voice. 
Pilate  saith  to  him.  What  is  truth  ?  Jesus  said.  Truth  is  from  heaven.  Pilate  said,  There- 
fore truth  is  not  on  earth.  Jesus  saith  to  Pilate,  Believe  that  truth  is  on  earth  among  those 
who,  when  they  have  the  power  of  judgment,  are  governed  by  truth  and  form  right  judgment. 

One  of  the  most  ingenious  anagrams  ever  made  is  the  following  trans- 
position of  Pilate's  question  into  its  answer  :  "  Quid  est  Veritas  ?"  "  Est  vir 
qui  adest." 

Truth  and  Error.  No  stanza  in  all  Bryant's  poems  is  better  known  than 
this  in  "The  Battle-Field  :" 

Truth  crushed  to  earth  shall  rise  again, — 

The  eternal  years  of  God  are  hers ; 
But  Error,  wounded,  writhes  with  pain. 

And  dies  among  his  worshippers. 

Charles  Mackay  has  a  faint  reflex  of  the  thought : 

But  the  sunshine  aye  shall  light  the  sky. 

As  round  and  round  we  run  ; 
And  the  truth  shall  ever  come  uppermost. 
And  justice  shall  be  done. 

Eternal  yustice. 

A  closer  parallel  is  in  Milton's  "  Areopagitica  :" 

Though  all  the  winds  of  doctrine  were  let  loose  to  play  upon  the  earth,  so  Truth  be  in  the 
field,  we  do  ingloriously,  by  licensing  and  prohibiting,  to  misdoubt  her  strength.  Let  her  and 
Falsehood  grapple  :  who  ever  knew  Truth  put  to  the  worse  in  a  free  and  open  encounter? 

Elsewhere  in  the  same  tract  Milton  says,  "  Who  knows  not  that  Truth  is 
strong  next  to  the  Almighty  V 
Chaucer  has, — 

Truth  is  the  highest  thing  that  man  may  keep. 

The  Frankeleines  Tale,  1.  11,789. 

Among  the  classic  authors  Seneca  said,  "Veritas  nunquam  perit"  ("Truth 
never  perishes"),  which  Sophocles  supplements  with  the  corollary,  "A  lie 
never  lives  to  be  old"  (Acrisius,  Frag.  59).     The  same  Greek  author  says, — 
The  truth  is  always  the  strongest  argument. 

Phtedra,  Frag.  737. 

Truth  is  stranger  than  fiction,  a  common  English  proverb,  possibly  a 
reminiscence  of: 

If  this  were  played  upon  a  stage  now,  I  could  condemn  it  as  an  improbable  fiction. — 

Tzvclftk  Night,  Act  iii.,  Sc.  2. 

Daniel  Webster,  also,  has  said, — 

There  is  nothing  so  powerful  as  truth,— and  often  nothing  so  strange.— i4  raiment  on  the 
Murder  0/  Captain  White. 

Tumblers.     The  glasses  now  known  by  this  name  differ  widely  from  the 
drinking-vessels  to  which  the  name  was  first  applied.     These  appear  to  have 
89* 


io62  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

been  of  metal  or  wood,  and  from  their  peculiar  shape  served  as  perpetual 
reminders  to  "  pass  the  bottle."  One  authority  says  they  were  called  "  tum- 
blers" because  "  they  could  not  be  set  down,  except  on  the  side,  when  empty," 
and  another  derives  their  name  from  "  their  original  shape,  rounded  at  the 
bottom,  so  that  they  tumbled  over  unless  they  were  carefully  set  down." 
Professor  Max  Muller  possesses  a  set  of  silver  tumblers  which  when  emptied 
and  placed  on  the  table  mouth  downward  immediately  revert  to  their  original 
position,  as  if  asking  to  be  refilled.  They  must  be  constructed  upon  the  same 
principle  as  the  toy  known  as  the  tombola,  or  Chinese  mandarin,  which, 
having  the  centre  of  gravity  in  the  base,  will  always  try  to  regain  its  original 
position,  however  much  the  equilibrium  is  disturbed.  Tumblers  were  prob- 
ably introduced  into  England  from  Germany,  for  goblets  of  wood,  rounded  at 
the  base,  so  that  they  readily  tumble  over,  are  still  made  in  that  country,  and 
often  bear  an  inscription  which  may  be  translated 

Lay  me  down  when  empty, 

I'll  stand  again  when  full. 

Tune  the  old  cow  died  of.  In  America  this  phrase  is  used  merely  to 
characterize  a  grotesque  or  unpleasant  song  or  tune.  Among  the  peasantry 
of  Scotland  and  the  north  of  Ireland  it  usually  retains  its  original  meaning 
of  a  homily  in  lieu  of  alms,  and  is  a  reference  to  the  old  ballad  of  the  cow- 
herd who,  having  no  fodder  for  his  cow,  sought  to  assuage  her  hunger  by  a 
comfortable  and  suggestive  tune.     This  is  how  the  ballad  begins  : 

Jack  Whaley  had  a  cow, 

And  he  had  naught  to  feed  her ; 
He  took  his  pipe  and  played  a  tune. 

And  bid  the  cow  consider. 

Or,  as  another  version  runs, — 

There  was  an  old  man,  and  he  had  an  old  cow. 

And  he  had  nothing  to  give  her  ; 
So  he  took  up  his  fiddle  and  played  her  a  tune. 

Consider,  good  cow,  consider. 
This  is  no  time  of  year  for  the  grass  to  grow. 

Consider,  good  cow,  consider. 

On  her  part,  to  do  her  justice, 

The  cow  considered  very  well, 

And  gave  the  piper  a  penny 
To  play  the  same  tune  over  again. 

And  "  corn  riggs  are  bonny." 

Nathless,  despite  the  cow's  resignation,  the  experiment  of  the  tuneful  phi- 
losopher shared  the  fate  of  that  of  the  economist  who  tried  to  make  his 
horse  happy  with  shavings  by  putting  green  spectacles  on  the  beast.  The  old 
cow  died  of  hunger.  At  a  sale  of  the  library  of  the  Rev.  Thomas  Alex- 
ander in  1874  there  was  sold  a  poem  in  the  handwriting  of  Thomas  Carlyle 
which  sounds  like  a  playful  parody  of  the  above,  embodying  as  it  does  a 
favorite  moral  of  the  sage's  : 

There  was  a  piper  had  a  cow. 

And  he  had  nocht  to  give  her; 
He  took  his  pipe  and  played  a  spring. 
And  bade  the  cow  consider. 

The  cow  considered  wi'  hersel' 

That  mirth  wad  never  fill  her  : 
"  Give  me  a  pickle  ait  strae, 

And  sell  your  wind  for  siller." 

Turncoat,  an  apostate,  a  renegade.  The  term  is  said  to  have  been  first 
applied  to  Emmanuel,  one  of  the  earliest  dukes  of  Savoy.  His  territories 
lay  inconveniently  open  to  attack  from  both  France  and  Spain,  and  it  was 


■  LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1063 

necessary  for  him  to  curry  favor  with  whichever  happened  to  be  the  dominant 
power.  But  the  balance  shifted  so  frequently  that  the  duke,  in  humorous 
desperation,  had  a  coat  made,  blue  on  one  side  and  white  on  the  other,  which 
might  be  worn  indififerenlty  either  side  out.  Blue  was  the  Spanish  color, 
wlnte  the  French  :  hence  by  simply  turning  his  coat  he  could  at  a  moment's 
notice  signify  his  adhesion  to  either  country.  This  explanation  is  not  accepted 
by  serious  etymologists,  although  they  do  see  in  the  word  a  general  meta- 
phorical allusion  to  clothes  as  representing  principles. 

Twreedledum  and  Tweedledee,  a  colloquial  phrase  applied  to  a  dis- 
tinction without  a  difference,  which  took  its  rise  in  the  following  epigram 
written  at  a  time  when  Handel  and  Bononcini  were  rivals  for  popular  favor  in 
London :  • 

Some  say,  compared  to  Bononcini, 

That  Mynheer  Handel's  but  a  ninny; 

Others  aver  that  he  to  Harnlel 

Is  scarcely  fit  to  hold  a  candle. 

Strange  all  this  difference  should  be 

'Twixt  Tweedledum  and  Tweedledee. 

The  last  two  lines  have  frequently  been  attributed  to  Swift,  and  also  to  Pope 
(they  are  included  in  Scott's  edition  of  the  former  and  in  Dyce's  edition  of  the 
latter),  but  there  seems  no  reason  to  doubt  the  claim  put  forward  by  their 
contemporary  Dr.  John  Byroni :  "  Nourse  asked  me  if  I  had  seen  the  verses 
ujion  Handel  and  Bononcini,  not  knowing  that  they  were  mine."  (Byrom's 
Remains  (Chetham  Soc),  vol.  i.  p.  173.) 

Half  a  century  later  the  famous  quarrel  between  the  Gluckists  and  Pic- 
cinists  in  Paris  provoked  the  following  cognate  epigram  from  the  Chevalier 
de  Ruthieres : 

Est-ce  Gluck,  est-ce  Piccini, 

Que  doit  couronner  Polymnie? 

Done,  entre  Gluck  et  Piccini 

Tout  le  Parnasse  est  desuni ; 

L'un  soutient  ce  que  i'autre  nie, 

Et  Clio  veut  battre  Uranie. 

Pour  moi,  qui  crains  toute  manie. 

Plus  irresolu  que  Babouc, 

N'epousant  Piccini  ni  Gluck, 

Je  n'y  connais  rien  ;  ergo,  Gluck. 

Twin  relics  of  barbarism, — i.e.,  slavery  and  polygamy,  so  called  by 
Charles  Sumner  in  a  famous  oration  in  the  United  States  Senate. 

T-wisting  the  British  lion's  tail,  a  proceeding  often  resorted  to  by  cer- 
tain members  of  Congress  to  curry  favor  with  and  attract  to  themselves  or 
their  party  the  votes  of  American  citizens  of  Irish  birth.  It  consists  in  seiz- 
ing every  opportunity  to  launch  abuse  and  vituperation  against  the  British 
government  and  the  English,  under  the  impression  that  everything  that  seems 
like  a  hostile  demonstration  against  either  will  please  their  Irish-born  con- 
stituents. The  practice  was  rife  during  the  heated  Home  Rule  agitation  for 
Ireland  after  the  fall  of  the  Gladstone  government, — a  time  when  the  sympa- 
thies of  the  Irish  in  America  were  keenly  aroused  and  their  thoughts  anxiously 
turned  to  their  old  home.  It  was  at  this  time  that  the  above  ludicrous  phrase 
was  invented. 

Two  sides  to  every  question.  When  those  redoubtable  disputants, 
Tom  Touchy  and  Will  Wimble,  ai)pealed  to  Sir  Roger  de  Coverley  to  settle 
a  controversy  between  them,  the  good  knight  listened  with  patience,  "and, 
having  paused  some  time,  told  them,  with  the  air  of  a  man  who  would  not 
give  his  judgment  rashly,  that  much  might  be  said  on  both  sides."    (Addison  : 


io64  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Spectator,  No.  122.)  Probably  Sir  Roger  did  not  know  that  he  was  echoing 
Protagoras,  who,  according  to  Diogenes  Laertius,  asserted  that  "there  were 
two  sides  to  every  question,  exactly  opposite  to  each  other."  {Protagoras,  iii.) 
But  in  spirit,  at  least,  he  had  followed  the  advice  of  the  old  Latin  saw,  "Audi 
alteram  partem"  ("  Listen  to  the  other  side").  Sydney  Smith  was  equally 
careful.  He  was  a  guest  one  evening  in  a  house  where  Blomfield,  Bishop 
of  London,  was  expected.  Before  dinner  a  note  arrived,  saying  that  the 
bishop  was  unable  to  keep  his  appointment,  a  dog  having  rushed  out  of  the 
crowd  and  bitten  him  in  the  leg.  When  the  note  was  read  aloud,  Smith 
observed,  "  I  should  like  to  hear  the  dog's  account  of  the  story." 

The  famous  apologue  of  the  two  shields  is  directly  in  point.  It  runs,  in 
substance,  as  follows.  In  the  days  of  knight-errantry  and  paganism  a  British 
prince  set  up  a  statue  to  the  goddess  of  Victory  at  a  point  where  four  roads 
met.  The  outside  of  her  shield  was  of  gold,  the  inside  of  silver.  One  day 
two  knights  arrived  here  simultaneously  from  opposite  parts  of  the  country. 
They  greeted  each  other  in  a  friendly  manner,  till  one  spoke  about  the  gold 
shield  of  the  statue.  "  'Tis  silver  .'"  said  the  other.  "  Gold  !"  And  so  from 
words  they  came  to  blows.  Both  fell  to  the  ground  at  the  first  shock,  and 
lay  in  a  trance  by  the  roadside.  A  countryman  passing  that  way  brought 
them  to,  explained  the  matter  to  them,  and  entreated  them  "never  to  enter 
into  any  dispute,  for  the  future,  till  they  had  fairly  considered  both  sides  of  the 
question."  This  story  was  first  published  in  "  Beaumont's  Moralities"  (1753), 
Sir  Harry  Beaumont  being  the  assumed  name  of  the  Rev.  Joseph  Spence,  of 
anecdote  fame.  It  has  been  translated  into  several  languages,  and  is  often 
looked  upon  as  a  genuine  bit  of  folk-lore. 

An  artful  juryman,  addressing  the  clerk  of  the  court  while  the  latter  was 
administering  the  oath,  said,  "  Speak  up  :  I  cannot  hear  what  you  say." 
"  Stop,"  said  Baron  Alderson  from  the  bench  ;  "are  you  deaf.^"'  "Yes,  my 
lord,  of  one  ear."  "Then  you  may  leave  the  box,  for  it  is  necessary  that 
jurymen  should  hear  both  sides." 

Two  strings  to  his  bo-w,  a  popular  proverb,  which  may  be  found  in 
Hooker's  "Polity,"  Book  v.,  ch.  Ixxx.,  in  Chapman's  "Bussy  D'Ambois," 
Act  ii.,  Sc.  3,  and  in  many  other  places.  It  applauds  the  thoughtfulness 
which  provides  a  reserve  fund  of  any  sort  on  which  to  draw  in  an  emergency. 

The  same  idea  is  put  into  another  form  by  Plautus  : 

Consider  the  little  mouse,  how  sagacious  an  animal  it  is  which  never  intrusts  his  life  to  one 
hole  only, —  Truciilentus,  Act  iv.,  Sc    4; 

— a  phrase  which  Chaucer  has  imitated  : 

I  hold  a  mouses  wit  not  worth  a  leke. 
That  hath  but  on  hole  for  to  sterten  to. 

Canterbury  Tales:   The  VVif  of  Bathes  Prologue, X.diSA- 

Pope  re-words  Chaucer  as  follows  : 

The  mouse  that  always  trusts  to  one  poor  hole 
Can  never  be  a  mouse  of  any  soul. 

Paraphrase  of  the  Prologue,  1.  298. 

That  "two  heads  are  better  than  one"  is  a  saw  which  may  be  found  in 
Heywood's  "  Proverbs,"  but  the  same  authority  does  not  hold  that  there  is 
always  safety  in  duality, — e.g.,  in  the  following  line  : 

While  betweene  two  stooles  my  taile  goes  to  the  ground, 

Proverbs,  Part  I.,  ch.  iii. ; 

— a  proverb  that  appears  in  substantially  the  same  form  in  Rabelais,  Book  i., 
ch.  ii.,  and  in  "  Les  Proverbes  de  Vilain,"  a  manuscript  in  the  Bodleian,  circa 
1303- 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1065 

Twopenny  Damn,  a  favorite  oath  with  the  Duke  of  Wellington,  who 
was  accustomed  to  convey  in  this  form  of  speech  his  estimate  of  the  persons 
and  things  he  held  in  contempt.  When  asked  by  the  government  of  the  day 
what  he  thought  of  the  proposal  on  the  part  of  the  French  government  to  be 
allowed  to  remove  Napoleon's  bones  from  St.  Helena,  he  replied,  "Well,  I 
don't  see  why  they  should  not  have  his  bones  if  they  want  them.  Why  should 
we  object  ?  They'll  say  we're  afraid.  But  I  don't  care  what  they  say.  Who 
cares  what  they  say?  I  don't  care  a  twopenny  damn  what  they  say."  An 
effort  has  been  made  to  emasculate  this  famous  phrase  by  explaining  that 
damn  in  this  connection  is  simply  a  corruption  of  the  name  of  a  very  harm- 
less Indian  coin,  a  dam,  which  bore  different  values  at  various  dates  and  in 
differing  localities,  but  which  was  originally  a  sixteenth  part  of  a  gold  mohur. 
But,  as  the  duke  was  no  scholar,  he  was  probably  not  aware  of  this  fantastic 
origin  ;  and  even  if  he  had  been,  and  were  anxious  to  avoid  the  imputation 
of  swearing,  he  would  surely  have  taken  the  precaution  of  writing  the  word 
dam.  And  he  certainly  would  not  have  written  "  twopenny  dam,"  for,  what- 
ever the  original  value  of  the  dam,  it  had  so  far  back  as  the  time  of  Akbar 
(1542-1605)  ceased  to  be  worth  more  than  the  fortieth  part  of  a  rupee,  and 
consequently  in  the  duke's  time  was  of  far  less  value  than  twopence  :  so  that 
"twopenny  damn"  would  have  conveyed  precisely  the  opposite  meaning  to 
that  which  he  intended  to  convey.  The  .5"/.  jfames  Gazette  was  in  recent  times 
dubbed  "  the  Twopenny  Damn"  on  account  of  the  intensity  of  its  language  and 
sentiments,  especially  where  Mr.  Gladstone  and  what  it  called  "the  latter-day 
Radicals"  were  concerned. 

Typographical  Errors.  Nothing  can  be  so  disheartening  to  a  writer  as 
to  find  his  pet  phrases  turned  into  nonsense  by  the  intelligent  compositor. 
"The  printer  of  Longfellow's  Dante,"  says  Colonel  T.  W.  Higginson,  "told 
me  that  the  poet  had  looked  forward  with  eager  anticipation  to  its  appear- 
ance, and  when  the  first  volume  of  the  sumptuous  book  was  laid  upon  the 
breakfast-table  he  opened  at  once  upon — a  misprint.  It  was  many  weeks, 
my  informant  said,  before  the  poet  could  revert  with  any  satisfaction  to  what 
he  then  regarded  as  his  greatest  work."  Baron  Grimm,  in  his  memoirs, 
relates  the  not  improbable  story  of  a  French  writer  who  died  in  a  fit  of  anger 
when  he  found  that  his  favorite  work,  revised  by  himself  with  great  care,  had 
been  printed  with  more  than  three  hundred  errors,  half  of  them  made  by 
the  corrector  of  the  press.  But  it  is  a  little  more  difificult  to  swallow  the 
unauthenticated  anecdote  of  the  Italian  poet  who,  when  on  his  way  to  pre- 
sent a  copy  of  verses  to  the  Pope,  found  a  mistake  of  a  single  letter,  which 
broke  his  heart  of  chagrin,  so  that  he  died  the  day  after. 

We  can  sympathize  with  the  author  of  a  religious  work  mentioned  by 
D'Israeli,  which  consisted  of  only  one  hundred  and  seventy-two  pages,  of 
which  fifteen  were  devoted  to  errata.  We  can  even  pardon  the  vanity  which 
led  him  to  imagine  that  Satan,  fearful  of  the  influence  which  the  book  might 
wield,  had  tampered  with  the  types,  and  that  the  very  printers  had  worked 
under  the  same  malign  influence. 

Nevertheless,  it  is  easy  to  find  a  less  startling  explanation  for  the  ordinary 
typographical  errors.  Blunders  of  this  sort  may  be  roughly  grouped  under 
three  heads  :  errors  of  the  ear,  errors  of  the  eye,  and  errors  arising  from  what 
printers  call  "  a  foul  case." 

A  compositor  while  at  work  reads  over  a  few  words  of  the  copy  and  retains 
them  in  his  memory  until  his  fingers  have  picked  up  the  necessary  types. 
While  the  memory  is  thus  repeating  a  phrase,  it  is  only  natural  for  certain 
words  to  be  supplanted  by  others  similar  in  sound:  thus,  "mistake"  might 
in  type  be  turned  into  "must  take,"  as,  in  fact,  it  was  in  the  first  folio  of 
"Hamlet,"  Act  iii.,  Sc.  I,  "idle  votarist"  (Timon,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  3)  into  "idol 


io66  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

votarist,"  and  "  long  delays,  Titus,"  into  "  long  days."  The  eye  often  deceives 
the  compositor,  especially  when  the  copy  is  more  or  less  illegible.  Take  away 
a  dot,  and  "  this  time  goes  manly"  {Macbeth,  Act  iv.,  Sc.  3)  becomes  "  this  tune 
goes  manly."  The  third  class  of  errors  need  more  explanation.  A  compos- 
itor works  at  what  is  called  "  a  case,"  a  wooden  drawer  divided  into  numerous 
receptacles,  each  containing  one  letter  only,  say  all  rt's  or  all  fi,.  When  from 
a  shake  or  other  accident  the  letters  become  misplaced,  the  result  is  techni- 
cally known  as  a  "foul  case."  The  compositor's  fingers  may,  under  these 
circumstances,  readily  pick  out  the  wrong  letter  from  the  right  box  without 
his  being  conscious  of  the  fact. 

These  are  mistakes  to  which  even  the  intelligent  compositor  is  liable  ;  but 
it  is  hardly  necessary  to  say  that  all  compositors  are  not  intelligent.  The 
machine  printer,  or  "  blacksmith,"  as  he  is  technically  called,  is  a  familiar 
figure  in  every  printing-office.  It  is  he  who  makes  a  hurried  guess  at  the 
copy  before  him,  without  caring  whether  it  makes  sense  or  not ;  who  substi- 
tutes "comic"  for  "cosmic,"  "human"  for  "known,"  "plant"  for  "planet,"^ 
"  I  am  better"  for  "  Gambetta,"  "  no  cows,  no  cream"  for  "  no  cross,  no  crown," 
and  "  shaving  the  queen"  for  "  shoving  the  queer."  This  is  the  sort  of  printer 
who  made  a  distinguished  traveller  die  "in  the  richness  of  sin"  mstead  of 
"  the  interior  of  Asia,"  and  who  described  a  Chicago  exquisite  as  one  "  whose 
manners  would  alarm  a  drowning  man,"  when  what  the  writer  really  said  was 
that  they  "would  adorn  a  drawing-room." 

Richard  A.  Proctor  records  the  most  remarkable  change  the  printers  ever 
arranged  for  him  as  having  occurred  in  the  proof  of  a  little  book  on  "  Spec- 
troscopic Analysis,"  which  he  wrote  for  the  Society  for  Promoting  Christian 
Knowledge.  The  words  which  in  the  work  itself  now  appear,  as  they  were 
certainly  written,  "  Lines,  Bands,  and  Striae  in  the  violet  part  of  spectra," 
were  printed  in  the  proof  "  Links,  Bonds,  and  Stripes  for  the  violent  kind  of 
spectres." 

The  prohibitionist  who  wished  to  say  that  "  drunkenness  is  folly"  must 
have  been  seriously  disconcerted  when  the  printer  made  him  announce  that 
"drunkenness  is  jolly;"  and  we  know  that  an  editor  who  wished  to  compli- 
ment a  soldier  as  "  a  battle-scarred  veteran"  was  so  deeply  grieved  when  he 
found  the  types  had  made  him  speak  of  "a  battle-scared  veteran"  that  the 
next  day  he  inserted  an  apology,  and  an  erratum  which  read,  "  the  bottle- 
scarred  veteran." 

"  I  remember,"  says  a  writer  in  American  Notes  and  Queries,  "to  have  writ- 
ten something  about  a  concert  at  which  was  sung  Millard's  'Ave  Maria,'  and 
it  actually  appeared  that  Miss  So-and-so  had  sung  with  much  feeling  Mulli- 
gan's '  Avenue  Maria.'  At  a  musicale  in  the  same  neighborhood  a  young 
lady  played  upon  the  piano  a  ballad  in  A  flat  major.  The  local  paper  had 
it  that  she  had  sung  a  ballad  called  '  A  fat  major.' " 

Two  very  old  stories  are  worth  repeating  for  their  peculiar  excellence.  A 
Scotch  newspaper,  reporting  the  danger  that  an  express-train  had  run  in  con- 
sequence of  a  cow  going  upon  the  line,  said,  "  As  the  safest  way,  the  engineer 
put  on  full  steam,  dashed  up  against  the  cow,  and  literally  cut  her  into  calves." 
In  the  earlier  half  of  this  century  a  London  paper  announced  that  Sir  Robert 
Peel  and  a  party  of  fiends  were  shooting  peasants  in  Ireland. 

Worth  quoting  also  are  the  familiar  lines  in  Moore's  "The  Fudges  in 
England :" 

But  a  week  or  two  since,  in  my  Ode  upon  Spring, 

Which  I  meant  to  have  made  a  most  beautiful  thing, 

Where  I  talked  of  the  "  dew-drops  from  freshly-blown  roses," 

The  nasty  things  made  it  "  from  freshly-blown  noses  !" 

And  once  when,  to  please  my  cross  aunt,  I  had  tried 

To  commem'rate  some  saint  of  her  clique,  who'd  just  died. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1067 

Having  said  he  "  had  tak'n  up  in  heaven  his  position," 
They  made  it  he'd  "  tak'n  up  to  heaven  his  physician  1" 

Genuine  typographical  errors  are  amusing  enough,  without  the  invention 
of  "  fake"  ones,  but  Mr,  Pycroft,  in  his  "  Ways  and  Means  of  Men  of  Letters," 
seems  to  have  been  responsible,  directly  or  indirectly,  for  such  a  fake.  He 
represents  himself  as  having  held  a  conversation  with  a  printer,  who  said, 
"  We  utterly  ruined  one  poet  through  a  ridiculous  misprint.  The  poet  in- 
tended to  say,  'See  the  pale  martyr  in  a  sheet  of  fire,'  instead  of  which  the 
line  appeared  as  '  See  the  pale  martyr  in  his  shirt  of  fire.'  The  reviewers, 
of  course,  made  the  most  of  so  entertaining  a  blunder,  and  the  poor  poet  was 
never  heard  of  more  in  the  field  of  literature."  The  line  alluded  to  probably 
occurs  in  Alexander  Smith's  poem  of  "  A  Life  Drama,"  as  follows : 

Of  one  whose  naked  soul  stood  clad  in  love. 

Like  a  pale  martyr  in  his  shirt  of  iire, 

I  sing. 

The  simile  is  a  very  fine  one,  and  probably  was  never  misprinted  nor  ad- 
versely criticised.  At  all  events,  it  is  quite  certain  that  the  poor  poet  was  not 
banished  by  the  mishap  from  the  field  of  literature. 

Sometimes  the  omission  or  the  transposition  of  a  punctuation-mark  has 
made  exquisite  nonsense  of  a  sentence.  Thus,  in  the  printing-office  of  a 
religious  journal,  a  compositor  took  it  upon  himself  to  print  the  familiar 
passage  of  Scripture  thus  :  "The  wicked  flee,  when  no  man  pursueth  but  the 
righteous,  is  as  bold  as  a  lion."  In  a  report  of  a  Delmonico  dinner  this  toast 
was  said  to  have  been  given  :  *'  Woman — without  her  man,  is  a  brute."  A 
New  York  editor  thus  introduced  some  verses:  "The  poem  published  this 
week  was  composed  by  an  esteemed  friend  who  has  lain  in  his  grave  for 
many  years  for  his  own  amusement ;"  but  here  the  error  is  partly  chargeable 
upon  the  awkward  construction  of  the  sentence.  Not  so  in  the  following 
instance  from  a  modern  sensational  novel  :  "  He  enters  on  his  head,  his 
helmet  on  his  feet,  sandals  on  his  brow,  there  was  a  cloud  in  his  right  hand, 
his  faithful  sword  in  his  eye,  an  angry  glare  he  sat  down."  A  ludicrous  mis- 
take of  a  somewhat  similar  order  was  once  made  by  a  clergyman  of  a  parish, 
to  whom  the  wife  of  one  about  to  sail  on  a  distant  voyage  sent  a  note  intended 
to  express  the  following:  "A  husband  going  to  sea,  his  wife  desires  the 
prayers  of  this  congregation  ;"  but  the  good  matron  was  not  skilled  in  spell- 
ing or  punctuation,  and  the  minister  was  short-sighted,  so  he  read,  "  A  hus- 
band going  to  see  his  wife,  desires  the  prayers  of  the  congregation." 

Considering  the  misapprehension  which  may  arise  from  false  punctuation, 
it  is  not  astonishing  that  when  Timothy  Dexter  (see  T.  D.  Pipes)  wrote  his 
famous  book,  "  Pickle  for  the  Knowing  Ones,"  he  left  out  all  marks  of  punc- 
tuation from  the  body  of  his  work,  and  at  the  end  filled  five  pages  with 
commas,  semicolons,  periods,  dashes,  etc.,  with  which  he  advised  the  reader 
to  pepper  and  salt  his  literary  dish  as  he  chose. 

As  examples  of  errors  clearly  due  to  bad  writing,  it  may  be  mentioned  how 
Horace  Greeley,  writing  something  about  suburban  journalism  advancing, 
found  it  transposed  by  the  type-setter  into  "  Superb  Jerusalem  Artichokes." 
In  the  London  Times  a  Westminster  speech  was  made  to  close  with  this  im- 
pressive peroration  :  "  We  have  broken  our  breeches,  we  have  burned  our 
boots  ;  honor,  no  less  than  other  considerations,  forbids  us  to  retreat."  When 
Mr.  Gladstone  was  represented  as  being  described  by  one  of  his  admirers  as 
the  spout  of  the  Liberal  party,  we  should  understand  "spirit"  to  be  intended. 
A  common  error  resulting  from  bad  penmanship  is  the  substitution  of  letters 
for  figures,  or  the  reverse  :  thus,  in  the  report  of  a  coal-market,  where  the 
writer  intended  to  say  that  there  was  an  over-supply  of  egg  size,  the  types 
feaid  that  there  was  an  over-supply  of  299  ;  similarly,  where  a  writer  described 


lo68  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

a  house  with  zigzag  staircases,  he  was  made  to  give  it  the  extraordinary 
number  of  219,209  staircases. 

In  an  obituary  notice  of  Sidney  Godolphin  Osborne,  the  London  Times 
described  him  as  the  author  of  the  celebrated  tract  "No  Go,"  when  what  the 
writer  meant  was  the  tract  No.  90.  But  no  similar  excuse  can  be  urged  for 
the  printer  who  made  Tennyson's  famous  lines  read, — 

Into  the  valley  of  death 
Rode  the  600. 

The  following  errors  may  spring  from  the  same  source.  A  quack  doctor 
advertises  an  "  infernal  remedy  ;"  a  grocer  gives  notice  of  the  arrival  of  an 
invoice  of  "  boxes  of  pigs"  from  Smyrna  ;  a  New  York  landlord  announces  a 
"  louse  to  let  with  immediate  possession  ;"  and  in  the  report  of  an  inquest 
held  on  the  body  of  a  ghuton,  the  verdict,  "suffocation,"  was  printed,  with 
more  truth  than  was  intended,  "  stuffocation."  In  making  up  newspapers — 
that  is,  in  piecing  together  paragraphs  into  columns — two  separate  items 
may  sometimes  be  jumbled  together  with  amazing  results.  Thus,  the  New 
Haven  yournal  announced  in  one  paragraph  that  "The  large  cast-iron  wheel, 
revolving  nine  hundred  times  a  minute,  exploded  in  that  city  yesterday  after 
a  long  and  painful  illness.  Deceased  was  a  prominent  thirty-second  degree 
Mason,"  and  in  another  that  "John  Fadden,  a  well-known  florist  and  real- 
estate  broker  of  Newport,  Rhode  Island,  died  in  Wardner  Russell's  sugar- 
mill  at  Crystal  Lake,  Illinois,  on  Saturday,  doing  $t,<xiO  damages  to  the 
building  and  injuring  several  workmen  severely." 

An  English  paper,  however,  produced  a  far  more  ludicrous  conglomeration. 
Dr.  Mudge  had  been  presented  with  a  gold-headed  cane,  and  the  same  week 
a  patent  pig-killing  and  sausage-making  machine  had  been  exhibited  in  the 
village  of  which  he  was  pastor.  The  gentleman  who  made  up  the  forms 
got  the  two  locals  entangled  in  the  following  appalling  manner:  "Several 
of  the  Rev.  Dr.  Mudge's  friends  called  upon  him  yesterday,  and  after  a  con- 
versation the  unsuspecting  pig  was  seized  by  the  hind  leg,  and  slid  along  a 
beam  until  he  reached  the  hot-water  tank.  His  friends  explained  the  object 
of  their  visit,  and  presented  him  with  a  very  handsome  gold-headed  butcher, 
who  grabbed  him  by  the  tail,  swung  him  round,  cut  his  throat  from  ear  to 
ear,  and  in  less  than  a  minute  the  carcass  was  in  the  water.  Thereupon  he 
came  forward,  and  said  that  there  were  times  when  the  feelings  overpowered 
one,  and  for  that  reason  he  would  not  attempt  to  do  more  than  thank  those 
around  him  for  the  manner  in  which  such  a  huge  animal  was  cut  into  frag- 
ments was  simply  astonishing.  The  doctor  concluded  his  remarks,  when  the 
machine  seized  him,  and  in  less  time  than  it  takes  to  write  it  the  pig  was  cut 
into  fragments  and  worked  up  into  delicious  sausage.  The  occasion  will  be 
long  remembered  by  the  doctor's  friends  as  one  of  the  most  delightful  of  their 
lives.  The  best  pieces  can  be  procured  for  tenpence  a  pound,  and  we  are 
sure  that  those  who  have  sat  so  long  under  his  ministry  will  rejoice  that  he 
has  been  treated  so  handsomely." 

The  mere  running  together  of  two  sentences  into  one  paragraph  may  also 
be  productive  5f  unintentional  amusement.  A  French  newspaper  had  a  good 
specimen  of  this  kind  of  mixture  :  "  Dr.  X.  has  been  appointed  head  physician 
to  the  Hopital  de  la  Charite  :  orders  have  been  issued  by  the  authorities  for 
the  immediate  extension  of  the  Cimetiere  de  Parnasse." 

A  female  compatriot  of  the  irrepressible  George  Francis  Train  addressed 
this  remonstrance  to  a  Buffalo  paper  :  "  By  some  fantastic  trick  of  your  type- 
setter my  speech  in  St.  James's  Hall  on  Saturday  evening  is  suddenly  ter- 
minated, and  so  linked  to  that  of  Mr.  Train  that  I  am  made  to  run  off  into  an 
entirely  new  vein  of  eloquence.     Among  many  other  exploits,  I  am  made  to 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1 069 

boast  that  I  neither  smoke,  nor  chew,  nor  drink,  nor  lie,  nor  steal,  nor  swear, 
as  if  such  accomplishments  were  usual  among  American  women  ;  and  wherever 
I  refer  to  my  honored  countrymen  as  'white  males,'  I  am  reported  as  having 
addressed  them  as  'white  mules.'  All  these  are  very  good  jokes,  if  credited 
to  the  printer's  devil,  but  not  to  those  who  represent  an  unpopular  idea  and 
carefully  weigh  their  words." 

Sometimes  mistakes  have  been  made  by  the  officiousness  of  the  printer  or 
proof-reader  in  endeavoring  to  correct  what  seemed  to  him  mistakes  in  the 
copy.  In  a  quotation  of  Gay's  well-known  allusion  to  Martha  and  Teresa 
Blount  as  "the  tair-haired  Martha  and  Teresa  brown,"  the  printer  thought 
proper  to  supply  brown  with  a  capital  B.  Again,  in  Pope's  note  on  "  Measure 
for  Measure,"  which  states  that  the  story  was  taken  from  "Cinthio,"  Dec.  8, 
Nov.  5  (eighth  decade  and  fifth  novel),  the  wise  typo  filled  out  these  abbre- 
viations so  that  they  read  December  8,  November  5. 

A  momentous  typographical  error,  if  we  are  to  take  the  word  of  the  histo- 
rian Kinglake,  was  -that  which  gave  to  Napoleon  III.  his  title.  Kinglake 
says  that  just  before  the  coup  d'etat,  a  minister  of  the  Home  Office,  in  an- 
nouncing to  the  public,  wrote,  "  Que  le  mot  d'ordre  soit  Vive  Napoleon  ! ! !" 
The  printer  took  the  exclamations  for  "  III,"  and  so  the  proclamation  went 
out,  was  copied  by  the  press,  and  became  incorporated  in  public  speech.  It 
was  no  time  for  explanations,  and  it  was  in  this  way  that  the  nephew  of  his 
uncle  adopted  the  title. 

Recently  the  readers  of  the  New  York  Herald  ^Ntre  startled  to  learn  from 
a  cable  despatch  that  Cardinal  Newman  always  regretted  that  he  had  attacked 
"Charles  King's  legs"  with  so  much  acerbity.  And,  not  content  with  this, 
the  same  paper  went  on  to  speak  of  "  woman's  influence"  in  lieu  of  "  New- 
man's influence." 

But  no  more  horrible  specimen  of  this  sort  of  blunder  was  ever  committed 
than  one  which  is  credited  to  a  Massachusetts  paper.  At  the  close  of  an  ex- 
tended and  highly  eulogistic  obituary  notice  of  a  deceased  lawyer,  the  reporter 
desired  to  say  that  "  the  body  was  taken  to  Hull  for  interment,  where  repose 
the  remains  of  other  members  of  the  family."  By  mistake  the  letter  e  was  sub- 
stituted for  the  «  in  Hull,  changing  the  sense  of  the  sentence  to  such  a  degree 
that  no  extra  copies  of  that  issue  of  the  paper  were  ordered  by  the  family  of 
the  dead  lawyer. 

It  is  believed  that  the  only  books  which  are  typographically  perfect  are  an 
Oxford  edition  of  the  Bible,  a  London  and  Leipsic  Horace,  and  an  American 
edition  of  Dante's  "Divine  Comedy."  The  University  of  Oxford  had  a 
standing  off'er  of  a  guinea  for  each  error  that  might  be  found  in  the  first  of 
these  books.  Many  years  elapsed  and  no  one  claimed  the  reward.  But 
recently  an  error  was  discovered  by  a  lynx-eyed  reader,  the  reward  was  paid 
and  the  error  corrected,  and  the  book  is  now  believed  to  be  typographically 
without  spot  or  blemish. 

Ben  Jonson  was  once  requested  to  revise  some  proofs  full  of  typographical 
and  other  errors,  but  he  declined,  and  recommended  that  they  should  be  sent 
to  the  House  of  Correction.  No  doubt  many  weary  authors  would  like  to 
see  proofs,  printers,  and  proof-readers  all  condemned  to  the  same  place. 


u. 

TJ,  the  twenty-first  letter  and  fifth  vowel  in  the  English  alphabet,  originally 
invented  by  the  Greeks  as  a  supplement  to  the  alphabet  they  had  derived 
from  the  Phoenicians.     At  first  they  wrote  it  indifferently  V  or  Y,  but  finally 
90 


loyo  TIANDY-BOOK  OF 

settled  on  the  latter  form,  while  the  derived  Italian  alphabet  held  to  the  V. 
Eventually  Y,  with  an  altered  phonetic  value,  was  adopted  into  the  Latin 
alphabet  as  a  distinct  character.  V  was  often  written  with  its  angle  rounded, 
U,  and  until  after  the  invention  of  printing,  even  in  England,  U  and  V  were 
interchangeable  letters.  A  fourth  sign,  W,  which  is  in  form  a  double  V,  and 
in  orthoepy  as  in  name  a  double  U,  was  still  another  outgrowth  from  the 
single  letter  added  by  the  Greeks  to  the  tail  of  the  Phoenician  alphabet. 

Ulster,  a  species  of  heavy  overcoat,  so  named  after  the  province  of  Ulster, 
in  Ireland,  where  it  originated.  Ulsters  were  worn  in  Belfast  as  early  as 
i860.  But  they  did  not  come  into  general  use  until  186S,  when  the  Prince  of 
Wales  set  the  fashion  by  wearing  in  St.  James  Street  a  coat  belonging  to  one 
of  his  friends,  which  had  been  made  upon  the  pattern  of  one  ordered  by 
George  Francis  Train  in  Dublin. 

Ulster,  Red  Hand  of.  An  open  red  hand  figures  in  the  arms  of  the 
province  of  Ulster,  also  in  the  arms  of  the  family  of  the  O'Neills,  and  of  a 
number  of  less  ancient  Irish  families.  Tradition  says  that  the  O'Neill,  a 
daring  adventurer,  having  vowed  to  be  first  to  touch  the  shores  of  Ireland, 
but  finding  that  his  boat  was  falling  behind  the  others,  cut  off  his  hand  and 
flung  it  on  the  shore  to  fulfil  his  vow.  The  O'Neills  form  one  of  the  five 
ancient  royal  families  of  Ireland.  In  161 1,  Hugh  O'Neill,  Earl  of  Tyrone, 
nicknamed  "  Red  Hugh"  and  "The  Red  Hand  of  Ulster,"  was  charged  with 
conspiracy  and  attainted  of  treason.  His  possessions,  five  hundred  thousand 
acres  in  Ulster,  escheated  to  the  English  crown,  and  on  these  lands  was  formed 
the  so-called  "plantation"  of  James  I.,  who  created  two  hundred  baronets, 
on  payment  of  one  thousand  pounds  each,  "  for  the  amelioration  of  Ulster." 
These  new  baronets  were  allowed  to  place  on  their  coat-armor  the  red  hand 
of  Ulster. 

Uncle,  a  slang  term  for  a  pawnbroker.  A  well-meant  attempt  has  been 
made  to  derive  the  word  from  the  Latin  uncus,  "  a  hook,"  and  an  engaging 
explanation  has  been  offered  that  pawnbrokers,  before  spouts  were  adopted, 
employed  a  hook  to  lift  articles  pawned.  "Gone  to  the  uncus,"  therefore, 
was  identical  with  the  modern  phrase  "  Up  the  spout."  In  truth,  there  is  no 
need  of  any  far-fetched  etymology.  A  rich  uncle,  in  novels,  and  sometimes 
in  real  life,  has  so  often  been  the  deus  ex  machina  to  relieve  distress  and  pov- 
erty among  his  poor  relations,  and  especially  his  spendthrift  nephews,  that  the 
use  of  the  term  as  a  bit  of  sarcastic  humor  is  sufficiently  obvious.  The  French 
say  of  a  thing  that  is  pawned,  "C'est  chez  ma  tante"  ("  It  is  at  my  aunt's"), 
with  an  analogous  meaning. 

Uncle  Sam  and  Brother  Jonathan,  alternative  sobriquets,  or,  more 
accurately,  humorous  personifications,  of  the  United  States.  Brother  Jon- 
athan is  the  older  term,  and  dates  from  the  Revolutionary  War.  When 
General  Washington,  the  newly-appointed  commander  of  the  army,  went  to 
Massachusetts  to  organize  it,  he  found  a  great  want  of  ammunition  and  other 
means  of  defence.  The  situation  was  critical.  Jonathan  Trumbull  the  elder 
was  then  governor  of  the  State  of  Connecticut ;  and  the  general,  placing  the 
greatest  reliance  on  his  excellency's  judgment,  remarked,  "  We  must  consult 
Brother  Jonathan  on  the  subject."  He  did  so,  and  the  governor  was  success- 
ful in  supplying  many  of  the  wants  of  the  army.  Thenceforward,  when 
difficulties  arose,  and  the  army  was  spread  over  the  country,  it  became  a  by- 
phrase,  "  We  must  consult  Brother  Jonathan."  The  name  has  now  become 
a  designation  for  the  whole  country,  as  John  Bull  has  for  England. 

The  cognate  term  "  Uncle  Sam"  was  an  outgrowth  of  the  war  of  i8l2. 
Elbert  Anderson,  a  New  York  contractor,  immediately  after  the  breaking  out 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  I071 

of  hostilities,  visited  Troy  on  the  Hudson,  where  he  purchased  a  quantity  of 
provisions.  The  inspectors  of  these  articles  at  that  place  were  Ebenezer  and 
Samuel  Wilson.  The  latter  gentleman  (invariably  known  as  Uncle  Sam) 
generally  superintended  in  person  a  large  number  of  workmen,  who  on  this 
occasion  were  employed  in  overhauling  the  provisions  purchased  by  the  con- 
tractor for  the  army.  The  casks  were  marked  "  E.  A. — U.  S."  The  work  of 
marking  fell  to  the  lot  of  a  facetious  fellow  in  the  employ  of  the  Wilsons, 
who,  on  being  asked  the  meaning  of  the  mark,  said  he  did  not  know,  unless 
it  meant  Elbert  Anderson  and  "Uncle  Sam,"  alluding  to  Uncle  Sam  Wilson. 
"The  joke  took  among  the  workmen  and  passed  currently ;  and  Uncle  Sam 
himself  was  occasionally  rallied  by  them  on  the  increasing  extent  of  his 
possessions.  .  .  .  Many  of  these  workmen,  being  of  a  character  denominated 
'food  for  powder,'  were  found  shortly  after  following  the  recruiting  drum 
and  pushing  towards  the  frontier  lines  for  the  double  purpose  of  meeting  the 
enemy  and  eating  the  provisions  they  had  lately  labored  to  put  in  good  order. 
Their  old  jokes  accompanied  them,  and  before  the  first  campaign  ended  this 
identical  one  appeared  in  print."  It  gained  favor  rapidly  till  it  penetrated  into 
every  part  of  the  country.  Bartlett's  "  Dictionary  of  Americanisms"  adds  to 
the  above,  "  Mr.  Wilson  died  in  Troy,  New  York,  in  August,  1S54,  at  the  age 
of  eighty-four,  and  the  Albany  Argiis,  in  noticing  his  death,  referred  to  the 
circumstance  above  stated  as  the  origin  of  the  above  sobriquet  of  'Uncle 
Sam,' " 

For  I  have  loved  my  country  since 
My  eye-teeth  filled  their  sockets. 

And  Uncle  Sam  I  reverence. 
Particularly  his  pockets. 

Lowell  :  Biglow  Papers. 

Underground  Railroad,  sometimes  humorously  abbreviated  U.  G.  R.  R,, 
was  a  term  collectively  given  to  the  numerous  devices  and  expedients  by 
which,  during  the  agitation  for  the  abolition  of  slavery  in  the  United  States, 
fugitive  negro  slaves  were  assisted  across  the  border  and  expedited  to  a 
safe  place  of  refuge  in  the  Northern  States  or  across  the  frontier  into 
Canada. 

United  we  stand,  divided  we  fall,  the  motto  of  the  State  of  Ken- 
tucky.    Mark  Twain  proudly  refers  to  this  fact : 

The  armorial  crest  of  my  own  State  consisted  of  two  dissolute  bears  holding  up  the  head 
of  a  dead-and-gone  cask  between  them  and  making  the  pertinent  remark,  "  United  wb 
Stand — hie  ! — Divided  we  Fall."  It  was  always  too  figurative  for  the  author  of  this  book. 
—Roughing  It,  p.  no. 

Probably  the  indirect  originator  of  the  motto  was  John  Dickinson  (1732- 
1808),  in  his  "  Liberty  Song"  (1768)  : 

Then  join  in  hand,  brave  Americans  all  ! 
By  uniting  we  stand,  by  dividing  we  fall. 

The  phrase  was  freely  quoted  during  the  Revolution.  Hence  the  allusion 
in  George  P.  Morris's  "  The  Flag  of  our  Union  :" 

A  song  for  our  banner !     The  watchword  recall 

Which  gave  the  Republic  her  station  : 
"  United  we  stand,  divided  we  fall  !" 

It  made  and  preserved  us  a  nation  ! 
The  union  of  lakes,  the  union  of  lands. 

The  union  of  States  none  can  sever, 
The  union  of  hearts,  the  union  of  hands. 

And  the  flag  of  our  Union  forever  ! 

Unlucky  days.  Every  portion  of  the  world  has  its  special  unlucky  day. 
In  Christian  countries  Friday  of  every  week  is  the  pre-eminently  unlucky 


1 072  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

day,  probably  from  the  fact  that  the  crucifixion  is  understood  to  have  taken 
place  on  a  Friday,  and  the  consequent  fasts  which  in  Roman  Catholic  times 
and  countries  made  or  make  it  a  marked  day  in  the  calendar.  To  start  any 
undertaking  or  to  commence  a  journey  on  Friday  is  to  court  failure  and  dis- 
aster. The  superstition  is  specially  prevalent  among  sailors.  There  is  a 
wide-spread  though  not  very  well  authenticated  story  that  a  person  anxious 
to  destroy  this  superstition  had  a  ship's  keel  laid  on  a  Friday,  the  ship 
launched  on  Friday,  her  masts  taken  in  from  the  shear-hulk  on  a  Friday,  the 
cargo  shipped  on  a  Friday  ;  he  found  (heaven  knows  how,  but  so  the  story 
runs)  a  Captain  Friday  to  command  her  ;  and,  lastly,  she  sailed  on  a  Friday. 
But  the  superstition  was  not  destroyed,  for  the  ship  never  returned  to  port, 
nor  was  the  manner  of  her  destruction  ever  known.  Other  instances  of  the 
kind  might  be  cited.  Thus  a  feeling  is  entertained  by  many  persons  not  other- 
wise superstitious  that  bad  luck  will  follow  any  wilful  attempt  to  run  counter 
to  a  superstition. 

In  reasoning  on  this  subject,  R.  A.  Proctor  says,  "  It  is  a  manifest  absurdity 
to  suppose  that  the  sailing  of  a  ship  on  a  Friday  is  unfortunate  ;  and  it  would 
be  a  piece  of  egregious  folly  to  consider  such  a  superstition  when  one  has 
occasion  to  take  a  journey.  But  the  case  is  different  when  any  one  under- 
takes Xo prove  that  the  superstition  is  an  absurdity,  simply  because  he  must 
assume,  in  the  first  instance,  that  he  will  succeed, — a  result  which  cannot  be 
certain,  and  such  confidence,  apart  from  all  question  of  superstition,  is  a  mis- 
take. In  fact,  a  person  so  acting  errs  in  the  very  same  way  as  those  whom 
he  wishes  to  correct ;  they  refrain  from  a  certain  act  because  of  a  blind 
fear  of  bad  luck,  and  he  proceeds  to  act  with  an  equally  blind  belief  in  good 
luck." 

In  further  illustration  he  cites  an  instance  of  an  old  woman  who  came  to 
Flamsteed,  the  first  astronomer  royal,  to  ask  him  the  whereabouts  of  a  cer- 
tain bundle  of  linen  which  she  had  lost.  Flamsteed  determined  to  show  the 
folly  of  that  belief  in  astrology  which  had  led  her  to  Greenwich  Observatory 
(under  some  misapprehension  as  to  the  duties  of  an  astronomer  royal).  He 
drew  a  circle,  put  a  square  into  it,  and  gravely  pointed  out  a  ditch,  near 
the  cottage,  in  which  he  said  it  would  be  found.  He  then  waited  until  she 
should  come  back  disappointed  and  in  a  fit  frame  of  mind  to  receive  the 
rebuke  he  intended  for  her ;  but  she  came  back  in  great  delight,  with  the 
bundle  in  her  hand,  found  in  the  very  place. 

Besides  the  prominence  which  Friday  has  attained,  every  day  of  the  week 
has  its  superstitions  attached  and  is  of  good  or  evil  omen  : 

Sunday's  child  ne'er  lacks  in  place ; 

Monday's  child  is  fair  in  the  face ; 

Tuesday's  child  is  full  of  grace ; 

Wednesday's  child  is  sour  and  sad  ; 

Thursday's  child  is  loving  and  glad ; 

Friday's  child  is  loving  and  giving  ; 

And  Saturday's  child  shall  work  for  its  living. 

Cut  your  nails  Monday,  you  cut  them  for  news  ; 

Cut  them  on  Tuesday,  a  pair  of  new  shoes ; 

Cut  them  on  Wednesday,  you  cut  them  for  health; 

Cut  them  on  Thursday,  'twill  add  to  your  wealth ; 

Cut  them  on  Friday,  you  cut  them  for  woe  ; 

Cut  them  on  Saturday,  a  journey  you'll  go  ; 

Cut  them  on  Sunday,  you  cut  them  for  evil, 

For  all  the  week  long  you'll  be  ruled  by  the  devil. 
The  latter  omen  regarding  Sunday  must  have  originated  in  the  days  when 
it  was  a  penal  offence  for  a  man   to  kiss  his  wife  on   Sunday,  and  when 
Melchisedec  Jones  was  put  in  the  stocks  for  calling  on  his  sweetheart  one 
Sabbath  evening. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES. 


1073 


Folk-poetry  of  this  kind  also  points  out  Wednesday  as  the  best  day  for  a 
wedding  ;  and,  though  this  fact  is  insisted  on  in  the  following  bit  of  Scotch 
doggerel,  it  will  be  noticed  that  each  day  has  its  own  peculiar  trait,  the  first 
three  days  of  the  week  being  of  good,  the  last  three  of  bad,  omeu  : 
Monday  for  wealth, 
Tuesday  for  health, 
Wednesday  the  best  day  of  all. 
Thursday  for  crosses, 
Friday  for  losses, 
Saturday  no  day  at  all. 

Finally,  here  is  a  list  of  "  the  evil  days  in  each  month,"  translated  from  the 
original  Latin  verses  in  the  old  Sarum  Missal  : 

January.      Of  this  first  month,  the  opening  day 

And  seventh  like  a  sword  will  slay. 
February.    The  fourth  day  bringeth  down  to  death ; 

The  third  will  stop  a  strong  man's  breath. 
March.  The  first  the  greedy  glutton  slays  ; 

The  fourth  cuts  short  the  drunkard's  days. 
April.  The  tenth  and  the  eleventh  too 

Are  ready  death's  fell  work  to  do. 
May.  The  third  to  slay  poor  man  hath  power; 

The  seventh  destroyeth  in  an  hour. 
yune.  The  tenth  a  pallid  visage  shows  ; 

No  faith  nor  truth  the  fifteenth  knows. 
July.  The  thirteenth  is  a  fatal  day  ; 

The  tenth  alike  will  mortals  slay. 
August.         The  first  kills  strong  ones  at  a  blow  ; 

The  second  lays  a  cohort  low. 
September.  The  third  day  of  the  month  September, 

And  tenth,  bring  evil  to  each  member. 
October.        The  third  and  tenth,  with  poisoned  breath. 

To  man  are  foes  as  foul  as  death. 
November.    The  fifth  bears  scorpion-sting  of  deadly  pain ; 

The  third  is  tinctured  with  destruction's  train. 
December.    The  seventh's  a  fatal  day  to  human  life ; 

The  tenth  is  with  a  serpent's  venom  rife. 

Unrecognized  incapacity,  A  great.  This  was  the  judgment  which 
Bismarck  passed  upon  the  Emperor  Napoleon  in  the  early  days  of  his  Im- 
perial career,  when  his  sphinx-like  silence  had  imposed  upon  the  French  as 
diplomatic  astuteness.  Even  better  was  the  7not  of  the  English  ambassador, 
Lord  Cowley,  apropos  of  the  same  monarch  :  "  He  never  speaks,  and  he 
always  lies"  ("  II  ne  parle  jamais  et  il  meiit  toujours").  If  Bismarck  could 
see  through  the  shallow  gravity  of  Napoleon,  the  latter  had  not  wit  enough 
to  penetrate  the  light  veil  of  raillery  which  the  Prussian  chose  to  assume. 
"  He  is  not  a  serious  man,"  was  Napoleon's  verdict, — "  of  which,"  said 
Bismarck,  later,  "  I  naturally  did  not  remind  him  at  the  weaver's  at  Donchery," 
— i.e.,  the  house  in  which,  after  the  battle  of  Sedan,  the  emperor  discussed 
with  Bismarck  the  terms  of  capitulation. 

Unser  Fritz,  a  popular  appellation  current  in  Germany,  more  particularly 
from  the  time  of  the  war  between  Prussia  and  Austria  in  1866  and  the 
Franco-German  War,  by  which  the  late  Emperor  Frederick,  then  Crown 
Prince  of  Prussia,  was  known. 

Unspeakable  Turk.  This  expression  came  into  general  use  during  the 
Bulgarian  agitation  of  1876  on  its  appearance  in  a  published  letter  of  Carlyle's 
to  George  Howard,  M.P.,  dated  November  24:  "The  unspeakable  Turk 
should  be  immediately  struck  out  of  the  question,  and  the  country  left  to 
honest  European  guidance."  It  was  not  the  first  time,  however,  that  Carlyle 
had  made  use  of  it.  In  1831,  neatly  fifty  years  before,  in  the  Westminster 
sss  90* 


I074  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Review,  No.  29,  in  an  article  on  the  Nibelungen  Lied,  since  reprinted  in  his 
*'  Miscellanies,"  he  makes  mention  of  "  that  unspeakable  Turk,  King  Macha- 
bol." 

Untoward  event.  The  battle  of  Navarino,  fought  on  October  20,  1827, 
resulted  in  a  crushing  defeat  of  the  Turkish  fleet  by  the  combined  armaments 
of  England,  France,  and  Russia.  In  the  speech  of  George  IV.  in  opening 
Parliament  in  1828  the  following  phrase  occurred  :  "  His  Majesty  deeply 
regrets  that  this  conflict  should  have  occurred  with  the  naval  force  of  an 
ancient  ally  ;  but  he  still  entertains  a  confidenrtiope  that  this  untoward  event 
will  not  be  followed  by  further  hostilities."  The  phrase  was  received  with  a 
burst  of  indignation  throughout  the  country,  and  Wellington,  as  prime  min- 
ister, and  consequently  head  of  the  Cabinet  to  which  the  authorship  of  the 
speech  was  referred,  came  in  for  a  large  share  of  the  attendant  odium. 

When  the  Duke  of  Wellington  spoke  of  the  battle  of  Navarino  simply  as  "  an  untoward 
event,"  it  meant  that  he  was  able  entirely  to  ignore  its  drift  as  a  battle,  and  to  concentrate  his 
attention  and  the  attention  of  the  worid  solely  on  its  tendency  to  unsettle  "  the  balance  of 
power."  The  perfect  silence  in  which  he  passed  over  the  commonplace  view  of  Navanno, 
and  insisted  on  looking  at  it  solely  in  the  attitude  of  a  diplomatist,  indicated  in  the  most 
graphic  manner  how  completely  indifferent  he  felt  to  the  class  of  consequences  which  would 
first  strike  the  popular  mind.  His  serene  indifference  to  the  Turkish  disaster  as  a  disaster 
was  quite  Olympian. — Spectator. 


V,  the  twenty-second  letter  of  the  English  alphabet,  being  the  original 
form  of  the  letter  U  (q.v.),  and  having  until  quite  recently  the  same  phonetic 
value  as  that  letter. 

Vacant  mind.     In  "  King  Henry  V.,"  Act  iv.,  Sc.  i,  Shakespeare  has  the 

lines, — 

Who,  with  a  body  filled  and  vacant  mind, 

Gets  him  to  rest,  crammed  with  distressful  bread. 

Here  the  meaning  of  vacant— «.^.,  empty,  devoid  of  ideas— is  sufficiently 
emphasized  by  its  antithesis  with  filled.  An  appeal  is  made  to  our  contempt 
rather  than  our  pity.  In  Cowper's  lines,  however,  we  are  called  upon  to 
commiserate  the  condition  of  mental  vacuity : 

Absence  of  occupation  is  not  rest ; 

A  mind  quite  vacant  is  a  mind  distressed. 


There  is  a  sort  of  bull  here,  unless,  following  Dr.  Butler's  definition  of  a 
vacuum  as  a  place  full  of  emptiness,  you  allow  that  a  vacant  mind  may  be 
full  of  uneasiness.  Yet  the  meaning  is  plain  :  a  mind  without  aim  or  pur- 
pose preys  upon  itself  Pascal  has  the  same  thought  in  his  "  Pensees,"  Art. 
XXX.:  "Nothing  is  so  insupportable  for  man  as  utter  rest,  without  passion, 
without  business,  without  diversion,  without  application." 

Goldsmith,  however,  calls  upon  us  neither  for  pity  nor  for  blame  m  his  still 
more  famous  line, — 

And  the  loud  laugh  that  spoke  the  vacant  mind. 

The  Deserted  Village,  1.  121. 

Here  he  means  a  mind  at  ease  and  free  from  care,  which  finds  its  natural 
expression  in  hearty  laughter. 

The  'keenest  pangs  the  wretched  find 

Are  rapture  to  the  dreary  void. 
The  leafless  desert  of  the  inind. 

The  waste  of  feelings  unemployed. 

Byron  :   The  Giaour,  1.  957. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1075 

Vae  victis !  (L.,  "  Woe  to  the  vanquished  !")  When  the  Gauls  under 
Brennus  invaded  Italy  and  reduced  the  Roman  citizens,  who  had  fled  to  the 
Capitol,  to  the  direst  extremities,  the  Senate  agreed  to  buy  them  off  with  one 
thousand  pounds'  weight  of  gold.  Brennus  produced  false  weights.  The 
tribune  objected.  But  Brennus  threw  his  sword  into  the  scale,  exclaiming, 
in  "a  voice  unbearable  to  Romans"  {intoleranda  Romanis  vox),  "Vae  victis!" 
(LiVY,  v.  48.) 

Vanitas  vanitatum,  et  omnia  vanitas,  the  Vulgate  rendering  of  the 
words  in  Ecclesiastes  i.  2  :  "  Vanity  of  vanities,  all  is  vanity."  Farther  down 
in  the  same  chapter  are  the  verses, — 

I  gave  my  heart  to  seek  and  search  out  by  wisdom  concerning  all  things  that  are  done  under 
heaven  ;  this  sore  travail  hath  God  given  to  the  sons  of  man  to  be  exercised  therewith.  I  have 
seen  all  the  works  that  are  done  under  the  sun  ;  and,  behold,  all  is  vanity  and  vexation  of 
spirit"  (13,  14). 

A  very  good  paraphrase  was  independently  hit  upon  by  two  great  minds.  "  I 
was  in  the  habit  of  saying  to  my  friends,"  writes  Leibnitz  to  Nicaise,  Sep- 
tember 29,  1693,  "  Sanifas  sanitattim,  et  omnia  sanitas,  without  knowing  that 
M.  Menage  also  used  the  phrase,  as  I  learn  from  his  '  Menagiana.' "  The 
"  Menagiana,"  it  may  be  added,  a  collection  of  Menage's  table-talk,  was 
published  posthumously  in  1692. 

Was  it  Leibnitz  or  Menage  of  whom  Disraeli  was  thinking  when,  in  a  speech 
at  the  meeting  of  an  agricultural  society  at  Aylesbury  in  1864,  he  quoted  as 
the  opinion  of  "  a  very  great  scholar"  that  the  text  "  Vanity  of  vanities,  all  is 
vanity,"  was  a  mistake  of  the  copyist,  who  wrote  "  Vanitas  vanitatum,  omnia 
vanitas,"  when  he  should  have  written  "  Sanitas  sanitatum,  omnia  sanitas"  } 
This  caused  a  Lilieral  to  characterize  the  views  of  the  opposition  as  "  a  policy 
of  sewage." 

Vice.  A  famous  couplet  in  Pope's  "  Essay  on  Man,"  Epistle  ii.,  1.  227, 
runs  as  follows  : 

Vice  is  a  monster  of  so  frightful  mien 
As  toTje  hated  needs  but  to  be  seen. 

Pope  borrowed  the  structure  of  these  lines  from  Dryden : 

For  truth  has  such  a  face  and  such  a  mien 
As  to  be  loved  needs  only  to  be  seen. 

The  Hind  and  the  Panther,  Part  I.,  1,  3. 

For  the  idea  he  seems  to  have  gone  to  Archbishop  Leighton  :  "  Were  the 
true  visage  of  sin  seen  at  full  light,  undressed  and  unpainted,  it  were  impossi- 
ble while  it  so  appeared  that  any  one  soul  could  be  in  love  with  it,  but  would 
rather  flee  from  it  as  hideous  and  abominable." 

Victory  —  Defeat.  "I  remember,"  says  Emerson,  in  his  essay  "Quota- 
tion and  Originality,"  "to  have  heard  Mr.  Samuel  Rogers  in  London  relate, 
among  other  anecdotes  of  the  Duke  of  Wellington,  that  a  lady  having  ex- 
pressed in  his  presence  a  passionate  wish  to  witness  a  great  victory,  he  re- 
plied, '  Madam,  there  is  nothing  so  dreadful  as  a  great  victory — except  a  great 
defeat.' "  It  is  possible  that  Wellington  used  the  phrase  more  than  once  ;  or 
was  Rogers  misquoting  and  miscrediting  the  famous  words  in  the  despatch 
which  the  duke  sent  in  1815, — "Nothing  except  a  battle  lost  can  be  half  so 
melancholy  as  a  battle  won"  .?  Emerson  goes  on  to  say  that  "  this  speech  is 
D'Argenson's,  and  is  reported  by  Grimm.  Napoleon  also  said,  'The  sight 
of  a  battle-field,  after  the  fight,  is  enough  to  inspire  princes  with  a  love  of 
peace  and  a  horror  of  war.' " 

Violet.  According  to  the  scientists,  who  are  a  dull  sort  of  folk,  however, 
and  who  love  to  hide  their  ignorance  behind  long  names  of  learned  sound, 
the  violet  is  a  genus  of  exogenous  herbs  of  the  order  Violacece,  and  is  a  native 


1076  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

of  the  north  temperate  zone.  But  the  poets  know  a  great  deal  more  than 
the  scientists,  for  they  were  born  before  them,  and  will  survive  them,  and  the 
poets  tell  us  all  about  the  creation  of  this  fragrant  flower.  When  Jupiter  was 
in  love  with  lo  and  changed  her  into  a  heifer,  deeming  that  common  grass 
and  flowers  were  no  fit  diet  for  a  sweetheart  of  the  king  of  gods,  he  created 
the  violet  that  she  might  feed  upon  its  dainty  petals.  And,  it  is  added,  when 
lo  died  violets  sprang  from  her  body.     (See  next  entry.) 

The  Greek  name  for  violet  was  ion,  and,  possibly  because  that  suggested 
Ionia,  whence  the  Athenians  were  fabled  to  have  sprung,  the  flower  was  a 
great  favorite  with  the  Athenians,  who  adopted  it  as  their  badge  and  loved  to 
weave  it  into  the  chaplets  which  they  wore  at  banquets,  thinking,  indeed,  that 
it  was  a  safeguard  against  drunkenness. 

Alcibiades  went  to  Agathos  crowned  with  ivy  and  violets.  The  only  lines 
that  have  survived  from  Alcffius's  ode  to  Sappho  begin  by  addressing  her  as 
"  Violet-crowned,  pure,  sweetly-smiling  Sappho."  The  Athenian  orators, 
when  striving  to  win  the  favor  and  attention  of  the  people,  were  wont  to 
address  them  as  "  Athenians,  crowned  with  violets  !" 

Among  the  Romans  also  the  violet  was  highly  esteemed.  Ovid,  in  speak- 
ing of  the  ancient  sacrifices,  and  contrasting  their  noble  simplicity  with  the 
garish  display  of  more  degenerate  times,  says  that  "  if  there  was  any  one  who 
could  add  violets  to  the  chaplets  wrought  from  the  flowers  of  the  meadow  he 
was  a  rich  man."  And  Virgil,  to  emphasize  the  desolation  of  Nature  mourn- 
ing the  death  of  Daphnis,  speaks  of  the  violet  as  replaced  by  the  thistle. 

In  the  East  the  violet  had  a  great  reputation  among  those  races  whose 
religions  were  rather  emotional  than  mystical.  The  Arabian  poets,  like  their 
brother  bards  of  other  climes,  bade  the  wealthy  and  haughty  learn  humility 
from  this  lowly  wayside  preacher.  It  was  a  favorite  flower  with  Mohammed, 
and  hence  has  acquired  a  peculiar  sanctity  in  Moslem  countries.  "  As  my 
religion  is  above  others,"  quoth  the  Prophet,  "so  is  the  excellence  of  the 
odor  of  violets  above  other  odors.  It  is  as  warmth  in  winter  and  coolness  in 
midsummer." 

It  is  likely  that  it  was  from  some  long  foreground  of  popular  homage  that 
the  violet  became  the  badge  of  the  mediaeval  minstrels,  as  in  the  poetical 
contests  of  Toulouse,  where  the  prize  was  a  golden  violet.  Clemence  Isaure 
places  the  violet  among  the  flowers  with  which  victors  in  the^a;  science  were 
crowned. 

The  superstition  still  survives  in  widely-scattered  countries  that  to  dream 
of  the  violet  is  good  luck.  In  Brandenburg  and  Silesia  it  is  held  a  specific 
against  the  ague.  In  Thuringia  it  is  a  charm  against  the  black  art.  In  many 
parts  of  rural  Germany  the  custom  is  still  observed  of  decking  the  bridal  bed 
and  the  cradles  of  young  girls  with  this  flower,  a  custom  known  to  have  been 
in  use  among  the  Kelts  as  well  as  among  the  Greeks. 

No  one,  indeed,  names  the  flower  but  to  praise  it ;  no  one  uses  it  but  for 
some  pretty,  useful,  or  poetical  purpose.  Its  popularity  is  highly  creditable  to 
human  nature.  Except  that  in  some  regions  of  the  East  it  has  been  used  to 
flavor  sherbets,  and  that  in  Scotland  it  has  been  mistakenly  used  as  a  cos- 
metic, it  has  been  universally  cherished  only  for  its  modesty,  its  beauty,  and 
its  delicate  fragrance. 

In  modern  France  the  flower  has  been  adopted  as  the  emblem  of  the  Bona- 
parte family.  "  Caporal  la  Violette"  or  "  Papa  la  Violette"  was  the  title 
bestowed  by  his  partisans  upon  the  first  Napoleon  after  his  banishment  to 
Elba, — significative  of  their  confidence  that  he  would  return  again  in  the 
spring. 

Early  in  January,  1815,  a  number  of  colored  engravings  made  their  appear- 
ance in  Paris,  representing  a  violet  in  full  bloom,  with  the  leaves  so  ar- 


y LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1 077 

ranged  as  to  form  the  profile  of  Napoleon.  Underneath  was  this  significant 
motto:  " II  ret'iendra  avec  le  prititemps."  The  phrase  became  an  Imperial 
toast,  and  the  flower  and  color  were  worn  as  a  party  distinction.  And,  in  fact, 
the  sentiment  was  realized.  When  March  20,  1815,  saw  Napoleon  re-enter 
the  Tuileries  after  his  escape  from  Elba,  he  found  the  grand  staircase  filled 
with  ladies,  who  nearly  smothered  him  with  violets. 

On  the  death  of  the  King  of  Rome  very  pretty  devices  in  violets  were 
made,  showing  on  the  edge  of  the  petals  profiles  of  the  members  of  the  Bona- 
parte family,  each  profile  forming  the  outer  edge  of  the  petal  looking  at  the 
flower  and  leaving  the  face  white. 

On  the  death  of  Napoleon  III.,  also,  the  visitors  to  Chiselhurst  wore  or 
carried  thither  bunches  of  violets. 

A  pretty  story,  but  apocryphal,  is  told  as  to  the  adoption  of  the  flower 
by  the  Imperialist  party.  Three  days  before  his  departure  for  Elba,  Na- 
poleon, it  is  said,  was  walking  in  the  gardens  of  Fontainebleau  with  the 
Due  de  Bassano  and  General  Bertrand.  He  was  contemplating  retirement 
into  exile,  his  courtiers  were  counselling  resistance.  They  had  almost  won 
the  day,  when  the  Emperor  saw  beside  him  the  three-year-old  son  of  his 
gardener  plucking  a  hunch  of  violets. 

"  My  dear,"  he  said,  "  will  you  give  me  your  nosegay  ?" 

The  little  one  handed  him  the  flowers. 

"Gentlemen,"  said  Napoleon,  after  a  few  minutes  of  silent  thought,  "I 
shall  take  this  as  an  omen.  Henceforth  the  violet  shall  be  the  emblem  of  my 
desires."  And,  without  heeding  his  courtiers'  remonstrances,  he  withdrew  to 
his  rooms. 

Next  day  he  was  seen  in  his  garden  picking  the  stray  violets,  which  were 
then  very  scarce.     A  grenadier  on  sentry  duty  approached,  and  said, — 

"Next  year.  Sire,  you  will  have  less  difficulty,  for  the  violets  will  then  be 
thicker." 

Napoleon  looked  up  in  astonishment. 

"  What !"  said  he,  "  do  you  suppose  I  shall  be  here  again  in  a  year's  time  ?" 

"  Perhaps  sooner,"  was  the  reply. 

"  But  do  you  know  that  the  day  after  to-morrow  I  leave  for  the  island  of 
Elba .?" 

"  Your  majesty  will  suffer  the  storm  to  pass." 

"  Are  your  comrades  of  the  same  opinion .'" 

"  Almost  all." 

"  Let  them  think  so,  then,  but  not  say  so.  When  your  sentry  duty  is  over, 
go  and  find  Bertrand.  He  will  give  you  twenty  napoleons ;  but  keep  the 
secret." 

When  the  grenadier  returned  to  the  guard-room  he  remarked  to  his  com- 
rades how  for  the  last  two  or  three  days  the  Emperor  had  been  walking  about 
with  a  bunch  of  violets. 

"  For  the  future,"  he  added,  "  when  we  are  talking  between  ourselves,  let 
us  call  him  Papa  la  Violette." 

And,  in  fact,  from  that  day  the  troops  in  the  barrack  and  at  their  mess 
always  spoke  of  Napoleon  as  Papa  la  Violette.  The  secret  gradually 
reached  the  public,  and  the  violet  became  recognized  as  the  badge  of  the 
Imperialists. 

Violet  of  his  native  land.  Tennyson,  in  "  In  Memoriam,"  xviii.,  has 
the  following  stanza  : 

'Tis  well ;  'tis  something;  we  may  stand 
Where  he  in  English  earth  is  laid. 
And  from  his  ashes  may  be  made 
The  violet  of  his  native  land. 


1078  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Is  there  a  reminiscence  here  of  Shakespeare's  h'nes  ? 
Lay  her  i'  the  earth  ; 
And  from  her  fair  and  unpolluted  flesh 
May  violets  spring  I 

Hamlet,  Act  v.,  Sc.  i. 
In  Greek  mythology  there  is  a  legend  that  when  lo  died  violets  sprang 
from  her  body.  But  it  does  not  follow  that  Shakespeare  intends  any  allusion 
to  this  legend.  The  fact  that  flowers  spring  from  soil  fertilized  by  the  bodies 
of  the  dead  is  one  of  current  observation.  Five  centuries  before  Shakespeare, 
Omar  Khayyam  had  said, — 

I  sometimes  think  that  never  blows  so  red 
The  Rose  as  where  some  buried  Caesar  bled ; 

That  every  Hyacinth  the  Garden  wears 
Dropt  in  her  Lap  from  some  once  lovely  Head. 

Rubaiyat,  Stanza  19. 
Again,  at  Cagliari,  in  Sardinia,  there  is  a  sepulchre  in  honor  of  a  wife's 
devotion  which  was  erected  in  pagan  times.      The  inscriptions  on  the  side 
are  in  Latin  and  in  Greek.     In  one  of  these  the  husband  begs  that  her  bones 
may  turn  to  flowers,  and  mentions  quite  a  nosegay  that  he  would  like  to  see. 

Virtue  of  necessity,  To  make  a,  an  ancient  proverbial  expression, 
meaning  to  take  credit  upon  one's  self  for  that  which  is  really  forced  upon  one 
by  circumstances,  to  assume  commendation  for  doing  under  duress  that  which 
would  be  commendable  only  as  the  outcome  of  free  will.  The  nicer  aptness 
of  the  phrase  is  blurred  at  present  through  its  constant  use  in  the  affiliated, 
but  none  the  less  corrupted,  sense  of  to  make  the  best  of  things,  to  put  a 
good  face  on  the  matter.  Quintilian,  in  his  "  Institutes,"  I.,  viii.,  14,  says, 
"  Laudem  virtutis  necessitaii  damus"  ("  We  give  to  necessity  the  praise  of 
virtue").  Chaucer  twice  uses  the  words,  "To  maken  vertu  of  necessitee," — 
viz.,  "Knightes  Tale,"  1.  3044,  and  "Troilus  and  Creseide,"  1.  1587.  Shake- 
speare, in  "Two  Gentlemen  of  Verona,"  Act  iv.,  Sc.  2,  uses  the  exact  modern 
locution  ;  and  that  the  saying  was  also  current  in  continental  Europe  in 
rnediaeval  times  is  evidenced  by  the  fact  that  Hadrianus  Julius,  in  his  ad- 
ditions to  the  "  Adagia"  of  Erasmus,  quotes  it  as  "a  very  familiar  proverb" 
among  his  countrymen.  His  Latinized  form  runs  as  follows  :  "  Necessitatem 
in  virtutem  commutare." 

Vox  populi,  vox  Dei  (L.,  "The  voice  of  the  people  is  the  voice  of 
God"),  a  proverb  of  uncertain  origin.  It  was  used  by  Walter  Reynolds  as 
the  text  of  the  sermon  at  the  coronation  of  Edward  III.,  and  is  spoken  of 
as  a  proverb  by  William  of  Malmesbury,  "  Recogitans  illud  proverbium  :  Vox 
populi  vox  Dei"  {De  Gestis  Pontificum,  fol.  1 14:,  ed.  Savili).  Still  farther  back, 
Alcuin,  in  the  eighth  century,  protested  against  it :  "  We  should  not  listen 
to  those  who  are  wont  to  say  Vox  populi,  vox  Dei,  for  the  noise  of  the  mob 
is  very  near  to  madness"  (Capiiiilare  Admonitionis  ad  Carohim).  Sir  William 
Hamilton  in  his  edition  of  Reid  traces  it  dubiously  to  the  "  Works  and  Days" 
of  Hesiod  :  "  In  man  speaks  God." 

The  people's  voice  is  odd. 
It  is  and  it  is  not  the  voice  of  God. 

Pope  :  Imitation  0/  Horace. 

w. 

W,  the  twenty-third  letter  of  the  English  alphabet,  used  both  as  consonant 
and  as  vowel.  It  was  made  some  time  in  the  eleventh  century,  by  simply 
doublmg  the  U  or  V  sign.     (See  U.) 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1079 

"Wake,  in  its  original  sense,  the  popular  English  equivalent  for  the  ecclesi- 
astical term  "  vigil."  In  mediaeval  England  the  dedication  wake  or  "  revel" 
of  a  country  parish  celebrated  the  anniversary  of  the  church's  dedication. 
The  population  gave  themselves  up  to  wholesale  revelry,  attracting  a  legion 
of  hawkers  and  merchants,  until  the  wakes  degenerated  into  common  fairs, 
without  any  religious  elements.  To  remedy  some  of  the  more  glaring  evils, 
Edward  I.  passed  a  statute  forbidding  them  to  be  held  in  church-yards. 
F'urther  attempts  to  regulate  them  were  made  by  Henry  VI.  in  1448  and 
by  Henry  VIII.  in  1536.  Since  the  Restoration  the  custom  has  gradually 
declined,  though  it  still  holds  good  in  some  rural  parishes. 

But  the  term  is  now  chiefly  confined  to  the  Irish  caoinan,  the  wake  or  vigil 
(more  literally,  the  "wailing")  held  over  a  dead  body  by  the  friends  of  the 
deceased.  Miss  Edgeworth  epigrammatically  styles  it  "a  midnight  meeting, 
held  professedly  for  the  indulgence  of  holy  sorrow,  but  usually  converted 
into  orgies  of  unholy  joy."  The  custom  was  known  throughout  Great  Britain 
as  well  as  in  the  north  of  Europe.  In  Anglo-Saxon  it  was  called  a  lyke-wake, 
liche-wake,  or  lake-wake  (from  lie,  a  "  corpse,"  and  waecce,  or  waccian,  to  "  keep 
watch  or  vigil"),  and  the  word  is  used  in  this  sense  by  early  English  writers. 
Thus,  Chaucer,  in  his  "  Knightes  Tale  :" 

Shall  net  be  told  by  me  .  .  . 
Ne  how  Arcite  is  brent  to  asshen  cold, 
Ne  how  that  there  the  liche-wake  was  yhold 
All  thilke  nyght. 

The  custom  itself  may  be  traced  back  to  a  remote  antiquity.  Allusions  to 
similar  funeral  feasts  may  be  found  in  many  ancient  writings,  and  even  in  the 
Bible.  In  the  Book  of  Tobit  is  the  passage,  "  Pour  out  thy  bread  on  the 
burial  of  the  just;"  in  Ecclesiasticus,  "  Delicates  poured  upon  a  mouth  shut 
up  are  as  messes  of  meat  set  upon  a  grave  ;"  and  a  prophecy  of  Jeremiah, 
foretelling  the  calamities  that  shall  befall  the* Jews,  announces  that  "They 
shall  not  be  buried,  .  .  .  neither  shall  men  give  them  the  cup  of  consolation 
to  drink  for  their  father  or  for  their  mother." 

The  Albanians,  the  Arabs,  and  the  Egyptians  all  practised  similar  funeral 
ceremonies,  degenerating  into  similar  orgies,  and  traces  of  the  same  custom 
may  still  be  found  among  the  Abyssinians,  the  Welsh,  and  the  Swedes. 

They  had  a  weird  sort  of  a  dance  at  Sierra  City  on  Washington's  birthday,  says  a  California 
exchange.  Previous  to  that  holiday  the  following  printed  notices,  bordered  in  black,  were 
posted  all  around  town:  "Funeral  Notice.— Died,  at  Sierra  City,  California,  February  22, 
1888,  Small-Pox.  As  the  deceased  has  no  friends  in  town,  his  enemies  are  invited  to  assemble 
at  Spencer  &  Moore's  Hall,  at  8  o'clock,  to  dance  on  his  coffin.  The  funeral  exercises  will 
be  under  the  auspices  of  the  Butte's  Band,  which  will  pipe  its  level  best  for  the  occasion. 
Tickets,  $1.  P.S.— The  wake  will  continue  ad  libitum  at  the  close  of  the  dance."  That 
evening  the  people  turned  out  en  masse,  and  had  a  rip-roaring  break-down  in  celebration  of 
their  at  last  being  out  of  quarantine.  The  dances  indulged  in  during  the  evening  were  the 
small-pox  polka,  the  virus  jig,  vaccination  reel,  and  quarantine  quadrille.  Thirty-five 
recently-recovered  small-pox  patients  participated  in  the  festivities. — Philadelphia  Ledger, 
1888. 

Walker,  or  Hookey  "Walker!  (the  latter  being  the  earlier  expression), 
in  English — and  especially  London — slang,  an  ironical  ejaculation  of  surprise, 
used  when  a  person  is  telling  an  improbable  story.  Its  American  equivalent 
is  "  Rats  !"  The  origin  is  uncertain.  One  story  asserts  that  John  Walker, 
familiarly  known  as  "  Hookey  Walker"  from  the  size  and  shape  of  his  nose, 
was  in  1830,  or  thereabouts,  employed  by  the  firm  of  Longman,  Clementi  & 
Co.,  Cheapside,  London,  as  a  spy  on  his  fellow-clerks,  that  his  more  or  less 
exaggerated  reports,  met  by  well-feigned  surprise  and  denial,  led  to  his  final 
dismissal  in  disgrace,  and  that  the  phrase  "That's  Hookey  Walker  !"  became 
proverbial  in  the  city  for  any  dubious  statement.  Another  story,  fathered  by 
the  Saturday  Review  znd  implying  a  less  esoteric  circle  of  originators,  makes 


lo8o  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Walker  an  aquiline-nosed  Jew  who  in  the  first  quarter  of  the  century  exhibited 
an  orrery  in  London,  called  by  the  erudite  name  of  Eidouranion.  He  was 
also  a  popular  lecturer  on  astronomy,  and  often  invited  his  pupils,  telescope 
in  hand,  to  "  take  a  sight"  at  the  moon  and  stars.  Tiie  lecturer's  phrase 
struck  his  school-boy  audience,  who  frequently  "  took  a  sight"  with  that 
gesture  of  outstretched  arms  and  adjustment  to  nose  and  eye  which  was  the 
first  garnish  of  the  popular  saying.  The  next  step  was  to  assume  phrase  and 
gesture  as  the  outward  and  visible  signs  of  knowingness  in  general.  And 
then  when  Walker  had  become  the  humorous  personification  of  knowingness, 
the  final  evolution  of  the  epithet  "  Walker  !"  or  "  Hookey  Walker  !"  as  a 
sign  of  incredulity  resulted  as  a  matter  of  course.  Here  is  a  good  etymon 
of  the  phrase  "to  take  a  sight"  as  applied  to  a  gesture  of  unknown  antiquity. 

"Walking  Stewart.  This  extraordinary  person  had  been  an  employee 
of  the  East  India  Company  ;  but,  feeling  a  mission  above  the  "  making  out  of 
invoices  for  a  company  of  grocers,"  he  threw  up  his  employment,  and  com- 
menced a  journey  on  foot  from  Calcutta  through  Central  Asia  and  Syria  till 
he  reached  Marseilles.  He  next  traversed  Sjiaiii,  Germany,  and  the  United 
States  of  America.  It  does  not  appear  that  Stewart  had  any  special  purpose 
in  these  incessant  peregrinations,  further  than  to  gratify  the  love  of  seeing  in 
all  parts  of  the  habitable  globe.  He  made  no  notes  of  his  tours,  left  no 
reflections  ;  the  only  conclusion  of  a  general  import  which  he  seems  to  have 
arrived  at  was  that  the  time  would  come  when  ladies  would  cease  to  bear 
children,  leaving  travail  entirely  to  poor  people.  There  was,  subsequently 
to  Stewart,  a  Captain  Cochrane,  not  less  eminent  in  pedestrian  feats, — never 
tired,  never  hungry,  and  impregnable  to  all  skyey  influences.  The  captain 
expired  in  harness,  in  an  effort  to  traverse  Siberia  and  reach  Kamtschatka  on 
foot  across  the  Uralian  mountains. 

"Walls  have  ears,  the  modern  form  of  the  proverb  which  is  found  in  this 
shape  in  Heywood  : 

Fieldes  have  eies  and  woodes  have  eares. 

Proverbs,  Part  II.,  ch.  v. 

"War.  To  be  prepared  for  war  is  one  of  the  most  effectual 
meeins  of  preserving  the  peace,  a  phrase  which  occurs  in  the  address 
delivered  in  person  by  Washington  before  Congress  at  the  opening  of  its 
second  session,  January  8,  1790. 

War  a  failure.  The,  a  condensation  of  the  resolution  adopted  at  the 
Democratic  National  Convention,  August  29,  1864,  towards  the  close  of  the 
civil  war,  at  a  time  when  the  rebellion  seemed  outwardly  stronger  than  ever 
and  to  have  almost  succeeded.  General  McClellan  was  nominated  for  the 
Presidency  at  this  Convention.  The  phrase  was  turned  as  a  stigma  upon  the 
Northern  Democrats  by  the  Republicans,  and  for  a  long  time  was  associated 
with  the  popular  estimate  of  McClellan.  The  text  of  the  resolution  is  in  sub- 
stance that  it  is  "the  sense  of  the  American  people  that,  after  four  years  of 
failure  to  restore  the  Union  by  the  experiment  of  war,  .  .  .  immediate  efforts 
be  made  for  a  cessation  of  hostilities,  with  a  view  to  an  ultimate  convention 
of  the  States,  ...  to  the  end  that  .  .  .  peace  may  be  restored  on  the  basis 
of  the  Federal  union  of  the  States." 

War,  Before  the,  a  phrase  often  used  in  a  humorous  way  to  imply  that 
an  event  which  is  brought  up  as  a  topic  of  conversation  is  a  "chestnut"  or 
extremely  "ancient  history."  As  the  civil  war  in  America  marks  two  dis- 
tinct epochs  in  the  history  of  the  country,  reference  to  it  is  frequently  made 
by  writers  or  speakers,  in  the  phrases  "  before  the  war"  and  "  after  the  war," 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  lo8i 

to  designate  the  period  at  which  some  event  happened  or  during  which  some 
special  state  of  things  existed. 

"Wards  of  the  nation.  In  conversation  with  E.  M.  Stanton,  Secretary 
of  War,  President  Lincoln  used  the  phrase,  "The  freedmen  are  the  wards  of 
the  nation."     "  Yes,"  answered  Stanton,  "  wards  in  chancery." 

War-horse,  An  old,  a  political  Americanism  applied  as  a  nickname 
to  any  energetic  political  worker  of  long  standing  in  a  party.  It  may  be  used 
either  in  a  commendatory  way  by  his  political  friends  or  derisively  by  his 
opponents. 

"Watches  —  Judgment.     Pope's  famous  lines, 

'Tis  with  our  judgments  as  our  watches, — none 
Go  just  alike,  yet  each  believes  his  own, 

Essay  on  Criticism,  Part  I.,  1.  9, 

are  doubtless  a  reminiscence  of  Suckling  : 

But  as  when  an  authentic  watch  is  shown, 
Each  man  winds  up  and  rectifies  his  own. 
So  in  our  very  judgments. 

Aglaura  :  Epilogtu. 

Yet,  in  spite  of  the  verbal  agreement,  the  sense  is  diametrically  opposite, 
as  will  be  apparent  at  a  glance. 

Water.  Here  lies  one  whose  name  was  writ  in  water.  This  is 
the  epitaph  which  the  poet  Keats,  according  to  Lord  Houghton  {.Life,  Letters, 
and  Literary  Remains  of  John  Keats,  vol.  ii.  p.  91),  insisted  should  be  placed 
upon  his  tomb.  He  doubtless  had  in  mind  the  various  passages  in  ancient 
and  modern  literature  which  declare  that  the  best  a  man  does  is  written  in 
water,  while  the  worst  survives  in  marble.     (See  under  Evil  that  Men  do.) 

Water-mark.  The  first  water-mark  on  record  was  the  coat  of  arms  of  a 
town.  The  early  paper-makers  were  not  slow  to  adopt  this  idea  in  impressing 
upon  their  sheets  the  device  of  the  place  where  their  mill  was  situated.  For 
instance,  the  coat  of  arms  of  the  village  of  Rives,  a  dolphin,  is  a  common 
mark  on  old  papers.  This  mark  is  still  in  use  to-day.  The  first  use  of  the 
water-mark,  then,  was  as  a  signature  or  emblem  to  point  out  the  place  of  man- 
ufacture, and  to  recommend  the  material.  For  all  that,  certain  of  these 
emblems  were  used  by  different  makers,  and  even  in  different  countries,  with 
slight  variations. — brisures,  as  they  are  called  in  heraldry, — which  were  evidently 
not  accidental,  but  intentional.  The  letter  P,  used  by  numberless  makers, 
is  a  good  water-mark  to  take  as  an  example,  since  we  find  that  not  only  is 
there  an  endless  variety  of  forms  of  the  letter  in  the  product  of  different 
mills,  but  that  the  same  maker  modified  the  brisures  of  the  letter  on  different 
qualities  of  his  paper.  Another  use  of  the  water-mark  is  more  evident  still. 
The  names  of  the  principal  sizes  of  papier  vergS  have  been  handed  down  to 
us,  and  the  whole  of  these  have  suggested  water-marks.  Rising  from  the 
smallest  sheet  to  the  largest,  they  are  as  follows :  bell,  pot,  ecu  (a  three-franc 
piece),  crown,  shell,  grape,  large  grape,  jesus,  great  eagle,  and  great  world. 
The  size  "jesus"  was  indicated  by  the  letter  " j,"  the  rest  by  their  emblems. 
In  the  fourteenth  and  fifteenth  centuries  the  members  of  each  trade  guild 
were  compelled  to  mark  their  merchandise  with  the  seal  of  their  guild.  If 
they  did  not  do  so  they  were  fined. 

""Watts!  Boys,  give  'em,"  an  exclamation  attributed  to  the  minister  of 
the  church  in  Ewing  Township,  near  Trenton,  New  Jersey,  in  the  Revolu- 
tionary War,  when  he  distributed  the  hymn-books  to  be  used  for  gun-wads. 

2V  91 


lo82  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

"Wear  out  or  rust  out.  Home,  in  his  sermon  "  On  the  Duty  of  Con- 
tending for  the  Truth,"  tells  us  that  when  a  friend  told  Bishop  Cumberland 
(1632-1718)  that  he  would  wear  himself  out  by  his  incessant  application,  "It 
is  better,"  replied  the  bishop,  "  to  wear  out  than  to  rust  out,"  which  is  the 
exact  opposite  of  the  Shakespearian  phrase  : 

1  were  better  to  be  eaten  to  death  with  a  rust  than  to  be  scoured  to  nothing  with  per- 
petual motion.— //^wry  IV.,  Fart  II.,  Act  i.,  Sc.  2* 

Byron  offers  still  another  form  : 

Better  to  sink  beneath  the  shock 
Than  moulder  piecemeal  on  the  rock. 

The  Giaour. 

Wedding  Anniversaries.  In  many  parts  of  the  civilized  world  it  is  cus- 
tomary to  give  the  name  of  some  metal  or  fabric  to  certain  wedding  anniver- 
saries. The  custom  seems  to  have  begun  originally  with  the  quarter-century 
celebrations,  which  were  styled,  in  their  respective  order,  the  silver,  golden, 
and  diamond  weddings.  These  are  most  in  vogue  at  present.  But  in  many 
localities,  especially  in  England  and  in  this  country,  others  have  been  added, 
until  in  its  most  enlarged  form  the  list  is  as  follows  : 

First  anniversary,  iron  ;  fifth,  wooden  ;  tenth,  tin  ;  fifteenth,  crystal ;  twen- 
tieth, china  ;  twenty-fifth,  silver  ;  thirtieth,  cotton  ;  thirty-fifth,  linen  ;  fortieth, 
woollen  ;  forty-fifth,  silk ;  fiftieth,  golden ;  sixtieth,  seventieth,  and  seventy- 
fifth,  diamond. 

The  presents  given  on  these  occasions  are  respectively  iron,  wooden,  tm, 
etc.  As  to  the  diamond  wedding,  its  celebration  on  the  sixtieth  anniversary 
is  a  comparatively  recent  innovation.  But  there  is  a  dispute  among  anti- 
quaries as  to  whether  the  seventieth  or  the  seventy-fifth  was  the  original  date. 
Edwin  De  Lisle,  a  member  of  the  House  of  Commons,  supplied  the  following 
interesting  memorandum  to  Notes  and  Queries  of  May  7,  1887  : 

About  two  years  ago  an  aged  couple  of  the  name  of  VVortley,  in  the  village  of  Sheepshed, 
in  the  Mid-Loughborough  division  of  Leicestershire,  which  I  now  represent,  celebrated  their 
seventieth  wedding-day.  A  Roman  newspaper  fell  into  my  hands  commenting  upon  this 
most  unusual  occurrence,  and  I  ventured  to  send  it  to  Sir  Henry  Ponsonby,  asking  him  to 
lay  it  before  Her  Majesty,  and  praying  the  Queen  to  send  the  humble  couple,  who  were  very 
poor,  some  slight  token  of  Her  Majesty's  regard  and  interest  in  so  unusual  an  anniversary  as 
a  diamond  wedding-day.  The  Roman  newspaper  avowed  that  seventy  years  constituted  a 
diamond  wedding,  and  that  in  Italy  the  sovereign  was  wont  to  testify  his  interest  in  the  hap- 
piness of  any  couple  who  had  dwelt  together  for  seventy  years  in  holy  wedlock  by  some  token 
of  royal  favor,  I  was  informed  that  the  Queen  would  not  comply  with  my  wish,  since  Her 
Majesty  considered  seventy-five  years  the  diamond  period.  I  did  not  contest  the  point,  being 
too  loyal  to  challenge  the  royal  word,  but  I  have  since  cotjsnlted  various  authorities,  and  I 
have  learned  that  a  quarter  of  a  century  and  half  a  century,  two  profane  periods,  are  generally 
held  to  constitute  the  silver  and  golden  wedlock,  but  that  a  sacred  period,  the  threescore 
years  and  ten  allotted  by  the  Psalmist  as  the  age  of  man  upon  earth,  is  held  to  be  the  period 
of  a  true  diamond  wedlock. 

"Week,  Day  of  the.  The  following  formula  shows  how  to  find  the  day 
of  the  week  of  any  date.  Take  the  last  two  figures  of  the  year,  add  a  quarter 
of  this,  disregarding  the  fraction  ;  add  the  dale  of  the  month,  and  to  this  add 
the  figure  of  the  following  list,  one  figure  standing  for  each  month  :  3-6-6-2-4- 
0-2-5-1-3-6-1.  Divide  the  sum  by  seven,  and  the  remainder  will  give  the 
number  of  the  day  in  the  week,  and  when  there  is  no  remainder  the  day  will 
be  Saturday. 

■Welcome  the  coming,  speed  the  parting  guest.  Here  is  Pope's 
translation  of  a  famous  passage  in  Homer's  "  Odyssey,"  Book  xv. : 

Alike  he  thwarts  the  hospitable  end 
Who  drives  the  free  or  stays  the  hasty  friend ; 
True  friendship's  laws  are  by  this  rule  expressed. 
Welcome  the  coming,  speed  the  part'ing  guest. 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  I083 

The  last  line  is  one  of  the  stock  quotations  of  English  literature.     Its  trim 
neatness  and  epigrammatic  point  are   Pope's,  of  course,  and  not  Homer's. 
This  is  how  Bryant  more  literally  translates  the  same  lines : 
It  is  alike  a  wrong 
To  thrust  the  unwilling  stranger  out  of  door. 
And  to  detain  him  when  he  longs  to  go. 
While  he  is  with  us,  we  should  cherish  him. 
And  when  he  wishes,  help  him  to  depart. 

Efeevrhere  Pope  says, — 

For  I  who  hold  sage  Homer's  rule  the  best, 
Welcome  the  coming,  speed  the  going  guest. 

Satire  II.,  \.  159. 

Surely  nobody  more  delicately  than  the  French  dramatist  Labiche  carried 
out  the  spirit  of  the  line.  When  he  gave  a  party  he  welcomed  each  guest  on 
arrival  with  a  hearty  "  Enfin  !"  ("  At  last !")  and  dismissed  him  on  departure 
with  the  regretful  "  Deja  !"  {"  Already  !")     There  is  humor  in  Shakespeare's 

Unbidden  guests 
Are  often  welcomest  when  they  are  gone. 

Henry  VI.,  Fart  I.,  Act  ii..  So.  2. 

"Welsh  Rabbit  One  of  the  most  curious  and  curiously  successful  feats 
of  the  amateur  etymologist  is  that  which  has  changed  Welsh  rabbit,  which  is 
right,  into  Welsh  rarebit,  which  is  wrong,  and  has  forced  the  wrongful  change 
upon  the  English-speaking  world.  It  has  ever  been  a  common  habit  with  the 
A.  E.,  when  the  meaning  of  a  word  does  not  seem  obvious  to  him,  to  remedy 
the  difficulty  by  a  slight  change  that  makes  it  apparently  reasonable.  Coming 
across  the  word  Welsh  rabbit,  he  gazed  through  solemn  spectacles  at  this 
mare's  nest,  and  decided  that  a  bit  of  toasted  cheese  could  not  by  any  stretch 
of  the  imagination  be  considered  a  game  animal,  but  it  might  well  be  a  rare 
bit.  So  he  jumped  at  the  conclusion  that  time,  and  the  corruptions  which 
time  effects,  must  have  done  their  work  on  this  word,  and  decided  to  restore 
its  original  beauty  and  significance.  Hence  we  have  Welsh  rarebits  on  all 
our  mentis.  Even  Webster  and  Worcester  once  accepted  this  unscholarly 
and  erroneous  emendation.  Now,  this  is  all  wrong.  Welsh  rabbit  is  a 
genuine  slang  term,  belonging  to  a  large  class  of  similar  terms  describing  in  a 
humorous  manner  the  special  dish,  product,  or  peculiarity  of  a  particular 
district.  Thus,  in  England,  a  "German  duck"  or  a  "Field-Lane  duck"  is 
ordinary  eating-house  mock  heroic  for  a  sheep's  head  stewed  with  onions, 
a  "  Leicestershire  plover"  is  a  bag-pudding,  and  "  Gourock  hams,"  "Dunbar 
wethers,"  "  Digby  chicken,"  and  "  Norfolk  capons"  are  so  many  names  for 
our  herring.  Potatoes  are  euphemistically  called  "  Irish  apricots"  and  "  Mun- 
ster  plums,"  and  shrimps  are  "  Gravesend  sweetmeats."  In  New  England 
codfish  are  frequently  known  as  "Cape  Cod  turkeys."  In  French  slang  a 
herring  appears  as  "  poulet  de  careme,"  and  a  crust  of  bread  rubbed  with 
garlic  is  called  a  capon.  In  Italy,  so  Fuller  informs  us,  "  the  friars  (when 
disposed  to  eat  meat  on  Fridays)  call  a  capon  a  '  piscis  e  corte,' — a  fish  out  of 
the  coop."  Similar  examples  abound  in  every  country.  Yet,  in  the  face  of  all 
these  analogies,  the  amateur  etymologist  refuses  to  accept  the  common-sense 
explanation  that  the  name  Welsh  rabbit  is  simply  a  humorous  recognition  of 
Taffy's  fondness  for  toasted  cheese. 

"West.  Go  "West,  young  man !  This  phrase,  popularly  attributed  to 
Horace  Greeley,  really  belongs  to  John  L.  B.  Soule,  editor  of  the  Terre 
m^Mit  Express.  In  1851  he  and  Richard  Thompson,  afterwards  Secretary 
of  the  Navy,  were  conversing  in  Soule's  sanctum.  Thompson  had  just  finished 
advising  Soule  to  go  West  and  grow  up  with  the  country,  and  was  praising 
bis  talents  as  a  writer. 


io84  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

"  Why,  John,"  he  said,  "you  could  write  an  article  that  would  be  attributed 
to  Horace  Greeley  if  you  tried." 

"No,  I  couldn't,"  responded  Mr.  Soule,  modestly.     "I'll  bet  I  couldn't" 

"  I'll  bet  a  barrel  of  flour  you  can,  if  you'll  promise  to  try  your  best,  the 
flour  to  go  to  some  deserving  poor  person." 

"  All  right :  I'll  try,"  responded  Soule. 

He  did  try,  writing  a  column  editorial  on  the  subject  under  discussion, — the 
opportunities  offered  to  young  men  by  the  West.  He  started  in  by  saying 
that  Horace  Greeley  could  never  have  given  a  young  man  better  advice  than 
that  contained  in  the  words  "  Go  West,  young  man." 

The  advice  was  not  quoted  from  Greeley  :  it  was  merely  compared  to  what 
he  might  have  said.  But  in  a  few  weeks  the  exchanges  began  coming  into 
the  Express  office  with  the  epigram  accredited  to  Greeley.  So  wide  a  circu- 
lation did  it  obtain  that  at  last  the  New  York  Tribune  came  out  with  an 
editorial  reprint  of  the  Express  article,  and  the  following  foot-note  : 

"The  expression  of  this  sentiment  has  been  attributed  to  the  editor  of  the 
Tribune  erroneously.  But  so  fully  does  he  concur  in  the  advice  it  gives  that 
he  endorses  most  heartily  the  epigrammatic  advice  of  the  Terre  Haute  Express, 
and  joins  in  saying,  '  Go  West,  young  man,  go  West.' " 

Western  Reserve.  In  the  negotiations  resulting  in  the  cession  of  their 
jurisdiction  over  the  Northwest  Territory  to  the  Federal  government  by 
Massachusetts,  Connecticut,  New  York,  Pennsylvania,  and  Virginia,  the 
State  of  Connecticut  reserved  a  tract  of  nearly  four  million  acres  on  Lake 
Erie.  This  tract  the  State  finally  disposed  of  in  small  lots,  thus  creating  for 
herself  a  magnificent  school-fund.  The  tract  became  known  as  the  "  Western 
Reserve,"  and  was  largely  settled  by  New-Englanders. 

Westward  the  course  of  empire  takes  its  way,  a  famous  line  in 
an  ode  written  by  Bishop  George  Berkeley  at  the  time  when  he  was  enthusi- 
astically contemplating  the  building  of  a  university  in  the  American  colonies 
of  England : 

Westward  the  course  of  empire  takes  its  way ; 

The  four  first  acts  already  past, 
A  fifth  shall  close  the  drama  with  the  day  : 
Time's  noblest  oflTspring  is  the  last. 

On  the  Prospect  o/ Planting  Artt  and 
Learning  in  America. 

Before  Berkeley,  Herbert  had  said, — 

Religion  stands  on  tiptoe  in  our  land, 
~    idy 


Ready  to  pass  to  the  Ar 

The  Church  Militant. 

Still  earlier,  in  1598,  Samuel  Daniel  had  written, — 
And  who  (in  time)  knows  whither  we  may  vent 

The  treasure  of  oiu-  tongue  ?     To  what  strange  shores 
This  gain  of  our  best  glory  shall  be  sent 

T'  enrich  unknowing  nations  with  our  stores? 
What  worlds  in  the  yet  unformed  Occident 

May  come  refined  with  th'  accents  that  are  ours  ? 

Musophilus,  Stanza  163. 

The  above  stanza  is  the  more  remarkable  in  that  it  was  penned  when  not 
a  single  Englishman  was  settled  in  America,  when  no  successful  eff'ort  to 
establish  an  English  colony  had  been  made,  and  indeed  after  Sir  Walter 
Raleigh  had  fitted  out  no  fewer  than  seven  expeditions,  at  a  cost  of  some  forty 
thousand  pounds, — an  enormous  sum  in  those  days, — to  meet  only  with  dis- 
astrous failure.  England,  with  a  sigh,  had  relinquished  all  hope  of  colonizing 
America.  The  poet  only  did  not  despair.  Eight  years  later,  on  December 
19,  1606,  he  stood  on  the  quay  at  Blackwall  to  bid  God-speed  to  a  fleet  of 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1 085 

three  small  vessels,  the  largest  less  than  a  hundred  tons  in  burden,  which 
sailed  out  to  America.  Captain  John  Smith  commanded  one  of  these  vessels, 
and  the  colony  which  he  founded  in  Virginia  gave  England  her  first  firm  foot- 
hold in  the  New  World. 

Jekyll  once  observed  that  the  farther  he  went  West  the  more  convinced  he 
felt  that  the  wise  men  did  not  come  from  the  East. 

Whigs  —  Tories,  the  names  (originally  nicknames)  by  which  the  two  great 
political  parties  of  Great  Britain  were  known  for  nearly  two  hundred  years. 
Since  1828,  and  particularly  during  the  second  half  of  the  present  century,  the 
designation  has  been  generally  changed  to  Liberals  and  Conservatives,  although 
the  latter  are  still  often  designated  Tories.  The  Conservatives  include  the  bulk 
of  the  members  of  the  House  of  Lords,  the  High-Churchmen,  the  squirearchy, 
the  yeomanry,  and  all  of  that  element  which  delights  to  be  included  under  the 
general  designation  of  "society."  The  Liberals  are  recruited  most  largely 
from  the  Nonconformists,  and  out  of  the  great  manufacturing  districts  and  the 
Welsh  and  Scotch  constituencies. 

There  is  not  much  difference  between  "  Whig"  and  "  Tory"  as  regards 
their  derivation  :  the  former  is  contracted  from  a  corruption  of  Celtic  words 
meaning  pack-saddle  thieves,  while  the  latter  comes  from  an  Irish  word 
meaning  a  band  of  robbers.  The  name  Whig  was  first  given  to  the  followers 
of  the  Marquis  of  Argyll  in  Scotland  who  were  in  opposition  to  the  govern- 
ment in  the  reign  of  James  L  "  From  Scotland,"  says  Bishop  Burnet,  "  the 
word  was  brought  into  England,  where  it  is  now  one  of  our  unhappy  terms 
of  disunion."  The  name  of  Tory  was  first  given,  according  to  Lord  Macaulay, 
to  those  who  refused  to  concur  in  excluding  James  IL  from  the  throne. 

An  etymon  which  deserves  a  high  place  among  the  humors  of  philology 
runs  as  follows.  During  the  seventeenth  century,  when  the  Scotch  were  con- 
tending for  liberty  against  the  oppression  of  the  crown,  one  of  the  popular 
clubs  of  the  day  inscribed  upon  its  banners  this  appropriate  and  Christian 
motto :  "  We  Hope  In  God."  Sometimes  only  the  initial  letter  of  each  word, 
W.  H.  I.  G.,  was  used.  "  In  this  way  the  word  Whig  was  formed,  which  is 
thus  seen  to  be  an  abbreviation  of  this  declaration  of  trust  and  hope." 

Whiskey  Insurrection,  a  rebellion  which  broke  out  in  Western  Penn- 
sylvania in  1794  and  extended  into  the  border  counties  of  Virginia,  in  con- 
sequence of  the  attempts  made  to  enforce  the  provisions  of  the  law  taxing 
whiskey  and  regulating  the  excise  passed  by  Congress  in  1 791.  Two  proclama- 
tions of  President  Washington  having  produced  no  effect.  General  Henry  Lee, 
governor  of  Virginia,  was  finally  sent  with  an  armed  force  and  suppressed  it. 

W nist.  The  meaning  of  the  word  whist  as  applied  to  the  game  of  cards 
is  by  no  means  as  obvious  as  it  might  appear  to  be  at  first  sight,  and  authori- 
ties are  divided  as  to  whether  it  means  silence  or  whether  the  notion  is  that 
in  the  gan.e  trumps  sweep  the  board.  Those  who  argue  for  the  former  deri- 
vation quote  the  Latin  st!  the  German  st!  or  hist!  and  the  Scotch  whisht! 
but,  unfortunately  for  this  theory,  the  game  at  first  was  called  whisk,  and 
later  was  associated  with  the  word  swabber  (to  sweep  with  a  mop).  In  sup- 
port of  this  idea  we  have  the  German  wisch,  "a  mop,"  Swedish  wiska,  to 
"wipe,"  Danish  viske.  If  therefore  the  name  of  the  game  was  intended  to 
convey  the  notion  of  silence,  it  will  be  necessary  to  show  that  whisk  may  be 
used  to  convey  this  idea,  and  there  are  no  instances  in  which  the  word  is 
used  with  that  meaning. 

Whistle.     The  saying  "  to  wet  your  whistle"  is  of  Norman  pedigree,  and 
at  least  as  old  as  the  thirteenth  century.     Henri  d'Andeli  thus  commences 
his  poem  on  "The  Battle  of  the  Wines :" 
91* 


Io86  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

Volez  oir  une  grant  fable, 
Qu'il  avint  I'anthier  sus  la  table 
Au  bon  Roi  qui  ot  nom  Philippe, 
Qui  volontiers  moilloit  sa  pipe 
Du  bon  vin  qui  estoit  du  blanc ; 

which  might  be  turned  into  modern  English  as  follows  : 

Listen  now  to  a  great  fable 
That  happened  the  other  day  at  table 
To  good  King  Philip,  who  did  incline 
To  wet  his  whistle  with  good  white  wine. 


Chaucer  has  the  line 

o  was  hire  iolv  whist.-  ^ 

The  Reves  Tale,  1.  4iS3- 


So  was  hire  joly  whistle  wel  ywette. 
""■     Re'>       ~ 


Whistle,  Don't  give  too  much  for  the,  a  favorite  expression  of  Benja- 
min Franklin,  the  origin  of  which  he  thus  explains  in  a  letter  to  Madame  Brillon 
(1779)  :  "When  I  was  a  child  of  seven  years  old,  my  friends,  on  a  holiday, 
filled  my  pocket  with  coppers.  I  went  directly  to  a  shop  where  they  sold 
toys  for  children  ;  and  being  charmed  with  the  sound  of  a  whistle,  that  I  met 
by  the  way  in  the  hands  of  another  boy,  I  voluntarily  offered  and  gave  all  my 
money  for  one.  I  then  came  home,  and  went  whistling  all  over  the  house, 
much  pleased  with  my  whistle,  but  disturbing  all  the  family.  My  brothers 
and  sisters  and  cousins,  understanding  the  bargain  I  had  made,  told  me  I  had 
given  four  times  as  much  for  it  as  it  was  worth,  put  me  in  mind  of  what  good 
things  I  might  have  bought  with  the  rest  of  the  money,  and  laughed  at  me  so 
much  for  my  folly  that  I  cried  with  vexation  ;  and  the  reflection  gave  me  more 
chagrin  than  the  whistle  gave  me  pleasure.  This,  however,  was  afterwards 
of  use  to  me,  the  impression  continuing  on  my  mind  :  so  that  often,  when  I 
was  tempted  to  buy  some  unnecessary  thing,  I  said  to  myself, '  Don't  give  too 
much  for  the  whistle,'  and  I  saved  my  money.  As  I  grew  up,  came  mto  the 
world,  and  observed  the  actions  of  men,  I  thought  I  met  with  many,  very 
many,  who  gave  too  much  for  the  whistle." 

"Whistling  woman  (A)  and  a  crowing  hen  will  always  come  to  a 
bad  end,  a  mediaeval  proverb  whose  reason  is  as  halt  as  its  rhyme  and  its 
rhythm.     Bacon,  in  his  "  Promus,"  quotes  a  French  variant : 

Soleil  qui  luit  au  matin, 

Femme  qui  parle  latin. 

Enfant  nourri  de  vin, 

Ne  vient  point  k  bonne  fin. 

Who  breaks,  pays.  This  expression  is  found  among  the  popular 
phrases  of  most  European  countries.  The  French  "  Qui  casse  les  verres  les 
paie"  suggests  that  the  probable  origin  of  the  expression  was  in  taverns. 
An  ancient  custom  which  still  lingers  in  some  parts  decreed  that  after  the 
drinking  of  certain  toasts  the  glasses  should  be  broken,  to  prevent  their  ever 
being  used  again.  Those  who  broke  their  glasses  were  expected  to  settle  for 
them.  In  Italy,  "  Chi  rompe,  paga"  is  frequently  quoted  to  servants  (mdeed, 
is  sometimes  printed  and  framed  in  their  quarters)  as  a  warning  that  any 
carelessness  with  brittle  objects  will  result  in  a  deduction  from  their  wages. 
John  Selden  in  his  "Table-Talk"  says,  speaking  of  a  wife, '^'  He  that  will  keep 
a  monkey,  'tis  fit  he  should  pay  for  the  glasses  he  breaks." 

In  English,  "to  crush  a  bottle"  has  been  corrupted  into  "to  crack"  or  "to 
break  a  bottle,"  although  crush  originated  from  the  Italian  scrosciare,  meaning 
merely  to  decant.  "  Who  breaks,  pays"  may  therefore  mean,  Who  treats, 
must  pay. 

Two  stories  have  been  told  as  to  the  origin  of  the  phrase.  Both  may  be 
true.     Neither,  however,  is  likely  to  have  given  birth  to  the  proverb,  which  is 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1087 

one  of  those  obvious  sayings  that  spring  up  spontaneously  and  independently 
in  widely-scattered  places. 

In  Fleet  Street,  not  far  from  Temple  Bar,  and  close  to  a  famous  resort  called 
"The  Devil,"  was  a  small  drinking-place  kept  by  one  Levi  Fleischmann,  and 
frequented  by  a  more  boisterous  crowd  than  the  lawyers  and  literary  men  who 
went  to  "  The  Devil"  for  refreshment.  No  sign  adorned  the  front  door  until 
one  morning  the  landlord,  after  a  melancholy  survey  of  his  broken  glasses 
and  dismembered  furniture,  nailed  up  a  device  roughly  imitated  from  his 
neighbor's, — St.  Dunstan  seizing  the  devil  by  the  nose, — only  the  saint's 
tongue  was  elongated  till  it  nearly  resembled  a  spade,  and  on  it  was  written, 
"  Who  breaks,  pays."  This  sign  attracted  the  attention  of  all  Fleet  Street, 
and  the  legend  became  a  by-word  among  the  wits  and  lawyers  of  the  day. 

The  other  story  refers  to  an  historical  incident : 

In  1476,  Alfonso  V.,  King  of  Portugal,  visited  Paris  to  seek  the  aid  of  Louis 
XL  in  recovering  Castile,  wrested  from  him  by  Prince  Ferdinand  of  Aragon. 
At  that  time  Laurent  Herbelot,  a  wealthy  grocer,  had  one  of  the  most  princely 
mansions  in  Paris,  and  King  Louis  directed  that  here  his  royal  visitor  should 
be  lodged.  A  few  repairs  were  needed,  and  a  glazier  while  putting  in  a  few 
panes  of  glass  in  the  ground-floor  had  his  basket  knocked  over  by  a  passer- 
by, who  straightway  took  to  flight.  But  the  glazier  caught  up  with  him. 
"Stop,  my  beauty,"  he  cried:  "settle  your  bill  with  me:  who  breaks,  pays." 
"How  much?"  "Fifteen  centimes  a  pane  :  you  broke  four."  The  breaker 
paid  sixty  centimes  and  went  on  his  way.  The  saying  became  popular,  and 
was  adopted  by  landlords  as  a  warning  to  their  customers. 

"Wicked  Partner,  The,  is  a  refuge  provided  for  the  "  truly  good"  man. 
Whenever  an  unhandsome  action  is  traced  to  his  door,  it  is  not  he  who  is 
responsible,  but  his  "  wicked  partner."  The  usage  first  obtained  currency 
through  the  New  York  Sun,  about  1872,  in  a  controversy  with  the  Cincinnati 
Commercial  Gazette :  all  the  misdeeds  charged  against  the  latter  sheet  were 
inscribed,  ironically,  not  against  "Deacon"  Richard  Smith,  the  eminently 
respectable  figure-head  of  that  newspaper,  but  against  his  wicked  partner, 
Murat  Halstead.  The  phrase  has  taken  rank  among  Americanisms,  especially 
with  reference  to  political  relations. 

Wife  at  forty.     "  My  notion  of  a  wife  at  forty,"  said  Jerrold,  "  is  that  a 
man  should  be  able  to  change  her,  like  a  bank-note,  for  two  twenties." 
This  jest  was  anticipated  by  Byron  : 

Wedded  she  was  some  years,  and  to  a  man 

Of  fifty,  and  such  husbands  are  in  plenty  ; 
And  yet,  I  think,  instead  of  such  a  one 

'Twere  better  to  have  two  of  five-and-twenty, 

Don  Juan,  Ixii. ; 

and  still  earlier  by  Gay,  in  "  Equivocation."  In  the  colloquy  between  a 
bishop  and  an  abbot,  the  bishop  advises, — 

These  indiscretions  lend  a  handle 

To  lewd  lay  tongues  to  give  us  scandal ; 

For  your  vow's  sake,  this  rule  I  give  t'ye. 

Let  all  your  maids  be  turned  o/fi/ty. 

The  priest  replied,  I  have  not  swerved. 

But  your  chaste  precept  well  observed  : 

That  lass  full  twenty-five  has  told ; 

I've  yet  another  who's  as  old ; 

Into  one  sum  their  ages  cast. 

So  both  my  maids  \is.\e.  fifty  past. 

John  Dryden  said  something  not  entirely  different  in  answer  to  his  wife's 


lo88  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

complaint  that  he  spent  so  much  time  in  his  library  she  would  fain  be  a  book 
herself: 

I  wish  you  were  an  almanac,  my  dear. 

That  I  could  change  you  every  once  a  year. 

Wilderness.  A  well-known  passage  in  Cowper  voices  a  sentiment  which 
overcomes  us  all  at  times  when  we  are  momentarily  sick  of  the  sham  and 
conventionality  of  civilization  : 

Oh  for  a  lodge  in  some  vast  wilderness. 
Some  boundless  contiguity  of  shade, 
Where  rumor  of  oppression  and  deceit. 
Of  unsuccessful  or  successful  war. 
Might  never  reach  me  more  ! 

The  Task,  Book  ii. :   The  Timepiece,  1.  i. 

Jeremiah  (ix.  2)  had  experienced  this  feeling : 

Oh  that  I  had  in  the  wilderness  a  lodging-place  of  wayfaring  men ;  that  I  might  leave  my 
people,  and  go  from  them  !  for  they  be  all  adulterers,  an  assembly  of  Ueacherous  men ; 

and  so,  of  course,  had  Byron  : 

Oh  that  the  desert  were  my  dwelling-place, 
Wiih  one  fair  spirit  for  my  minister. 
That  I  might  all  forget  the  human  race. 
And,  hating  no  one,  love  but  only  her  ! 

Ckilde  Harold,  C^nto  iv..  Stanza  177. 

Tennyson's  version  of  the  same  idea  occurs  in  "  Locksley  Hall :" 
Here  at  least,  where  nature  sickens,  nothing.     Ah,  for  some  retreat 
Deep  in  yonder  shining  Orient,  where  my  life  began  to  beat. 

Or  to  burst  all  links  of  habit,—  there  to  wander  far  away. 
On  from  island  unio  island  at  the  gateways  of  the  day. 
******** 
There  methinks  would  be  enjoyment  more  than  in  this  march  of  mind. 
In  the  steamship,  in  the  railway,  in  the  thoughts  that  shake  mankmd. 
There  the  passions  cramped  no  longer  shall  have  scope  and  breathing  space ; 
1  will  take  some  savage  woman,  she  shall  rear  my  dusky  race. 
Iron-jointed,  supple-sinewed,  they  shall  dive,  and  they  shall  run. 
Catch  the  wild-goat  by  the  hair,  and  hurl  their  lances  in  the  sun ; 
Whistle  back  the  parrot's  call,  and  leap  the  rainbows  of  the  brooks. 
Not  with  blinded  eyesight  poring  over  miserable  books. 
This  frantic  burst  of  cynicism  finds  a  curious  parallel  in  Beaumont's  "  Phi- 
laster,"  Act  iv.,  Sc.  2  : 

Oh  that  I  had  been  nourished  in  the  woods, 
.  .  .  and  not  known 

The  right  of  crowns,  nor  the  dissembling  trains 

Of  woman's  looks.  ... 

And  then  had  taken  in  some  mountain  girl. 

Beaten  with  winds,  that  might  have  strewed  my  bed 

With  leaves  and  reeds,  and  have  borne  at  her  big  breasts 

My  large  coarse  issue.     This  had  been  a  life 

Free  from  vexation. 

"Wild-goose  chase,  a  colloquialism  for  any  hazardous,  ridiculous,  or 
impossible  enterprise.  The  name  was  originally  given  to  a  sort  of  racing, 
resembling  the  flying  of  wild  geese,  in  which  after  one  horse  had  got  the 
lead  the  other  was  obliged  to  follow  after.  As  the  second  horse  generally 
exhausted  himself  in  vain  eflforts  to  overtake  the  first,  this  mode  of  racing 
was  finally  discontinued. 

Wind.  It's  an  ill  wind  that  blows  no  one  any  good,  a  familiar 
English  proverb,  meaning  that  what  hurts  one  man  benefits  another,  which 
makes  its  first  literary  appearance  in  Heywood : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1089 

An  ill  winde  that  bloweth  no  man  to  good. 

Proverbs,  Part  I.,  ch.  ix. 
Tusser  amplifies  it : 

Except  wind  stands  as  never  it  stood. 
It  is  an  ill  wind  turns  none  to  good. 

A  Description  of  tke  Properties  of  Wind. 
And  Shakespeare  plays  with  the  idea  as  follows  : 

FaUtaff.  What  wind  blew  you  hither,  Pistol  ? 
Pistol.  Not  the  ill  wind  which  blows  no  man  to  good. 

Henry  IV.,  Part  II.,  Act  v.,  Sc.  i. 

Wind.  The  door  was  open,  and  the  wind  blew  it  in,  an  American 
piece  of  colloquial  jocularity,  meaning  that  the  person  at  whom  the  jest  is 
aimed  is  so  "  light"  that  he  is  at  the  mercy  of  a  gust  of  wind.  An  equivalent 
stroke  of  humor  asserts  of  the  particular  butt  that  he  is  so  light  that  if  he 
were  to  cut  his  boot-straps  he  would  sail  up  into  the  air.  Similar  jests  have 
even  in  classic  times  been  levelled  at  the  physical  rather  than  the  mental 
deficiencies  of  particular  persons.  Thus,  it  was  said  of  Philetas,  the  poet  of 
Cos,  that  he  had  to  wear  lead  in  his  shoes  to  keep  him  from  being  blown 
away.  Again,  at  a  party,  a  fellow-guest  of  Douglas  Jerrold  was  remarkable 
for  his  thinness.  Somebody  having  left  the  door  open  and  occasioned  a 
strong  air,  Jerrold  exclaimed,  "  Shut  the  door  quickly,  or  the  draught  will 
blow up  the  chimney." 

"Wind  arose  and  rushed  upon  the  South.  There  is  a  curious  simi- 
larity between  the  following  passages,  the  first  by  Tennyson,  the  second  by 
Shelley : 

A  wind  arose  and  rushed  upon  the  South, 

And  shook  the  songs,  the  whispers,  and  the  shrieks 

Of  the  wild  woods  together;  and  a  Voice 

Went  with  it.  Follow,  follow,  thou  shalt  win. 

The  Princess,  i.  96. 
A  wind  arose  among  the  pines  ;  it  shook 
The  clinging  music  from  their  boughs,  and  then 
Low,  sweet,  faint  sounds,  like  the  farewell  of  ghosts. 
Were  heard  :  O,  follow,  follow,  follow  me. 

Prometheus,  II.,  \.,  156. 

Wind,  The  big,  a  name  given  in  Ireland  to  a  terrible  wind-storm  that 
began  on  the  night  of  January  6,  1839.  In  Limerick,  Galway,  and  Athlone 
hundreds  of  houses  were  blown  down,  and  hundreds  more  were  burned  by  the 
wind  spreading  the  fires  of  those  blown  down.  Dublin  suffered  terribly.  No 
Irishman  knows  this  storm  by  any  other  name  than  "the  big  wind."  "The 
night  of  the  big  wind"  forms  an  era;  things  date  from  it:  such  and  such  a 
thing  happened  "before  the  big  wind,  when  I  was  a  boy ;"  or  it  happened  "a 
twelvemonth  after  the  big  wind,  when  your  uncle  Dennis  was  but  a  lad." 
The  use  of  the  name  seems  a  sort  of  survival  of  oral  tradition  as  opposed  to 
written  history. 

Wine.  Good  wine  needs  no  bush.  From  ancient  Roman  to  com- 
paratively recent  times  a  "  bush"  or  branch  (usually  of  ivy,  because  that  plant 
was  dedicated  to  Bacchus)  used  to  be  hung  as  a  sign  before  a  wine-shop  or 
tavern.  The  custom  even  survives  locally  in  rural  England.  Hence  it  is 
usually  held  that  the  phrase  means.  Good  wine  needs  no  adventitious  aid  of 
advertising,  or,  in  other  words,  it  sells  itself.  This  interpretation  is  borne  out 
by  the  ancient  Latin  proverb  of  which  ours  is  a  descendant,  "  Vino  vendibili 
suspensa  hedera  non  opus  est"  ("  Vendible  wine  needs  no  hanging  bush"), 
and  also  by  similar  proverbs  in  other  languages. 

The  French  say,  "  Au  vin  qui  se  vend  bien  il  ne  faut  point  de  lierre."  The 
Spanish  have  it,  "  El  vino  bueno  no  ha  menester  pregonero"  ("  Good  wine 
m 


IO90  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

needs  no  crier").  A  Scotch  saying  is,  "  Gude  ale  needs  no  wisp,"  for  some- 
times the  "  bush"  was  merely  a  wisp  of  hay  or  straw,  or  a  bundle  of  twigs. 

Similar  testimony  is  borne  by  numerous  references  in  seventeenth-century 
literature.  Thus,  Lyly,  in  his  "  Euphues"  (A,  3),  has,  "Things  of  greatest 
profit  are  set  forth  with  least  price.  Where  the  wine  is  neat  there  needeth 
no  ivie-bush  ;"  and  Allot,  -in  a  "  Sonnet  to  the  Reader,"  prefixed  to  his 
"  England's  Parnassus,"  says, — 

I  hang  no  ivie  out  to  sell  my  wine  ; 

The  nectar  of  good  wits  will  sell  itselfe. 

Nevertheless,  another  interpretation  recently  suggested  in  the  London  Athe- 
tuBitm  is  both  plausible  and  ingenious.  This  would  make  the  proverb  mean 
that  good  wine  needs  no  ivy, — ivy  having  been  anciently  considered  a  correc- 
tive for  the  evil  effects  of  wine.  Thus,  the  old  herbalist  Culpepper  tells  us, 
"  Pliny  saith  the  yellow  berries  (of  ivy)  are  good  against  the  jaundice;  and 
taken  before  one  be  set  to  drink  hard,  preserveth  from  drunkenness."'  And 
again,  "Cato  saith  that  wine  put  into  the  (ivy)  cup  will  soak  through  it,  by 
reason  of  the  antipathy  there  is  between  them.  There  seems  to  be  a  very 
great  antipathy  between  wine  and  ivy;  for  if  one  has  got  a  surfeit  by  drinking 
wine,  his  speediest  cure  is  to  drink  a  draught  of  the  same  wine  wherein  a 
handful  of  leaves,  being  first  bruised,  have  been  boiled."  William  Coles, 
who  does  not  often  agree  with  Culpepper,  does  so  here,  and  speaks  explicitly 
of  the  ivy-bush.  He  says  ("  Adam  in  Eden"),  "  Box  and  ivy  last  long  green, 
and  therefore  vintners  made  their  garlands  thereof;  though  perhaps  ivy  is  the 
rather  used  because  of  the  antipathy  between  it  and  wine."  Gerarde  recom- 
mends ivy  for  sore  and  inflamed  eyes,  which  often  result  from  hard  drinking; 
and  De  Gubernatis  (quoted  by  Folkard)  says  that  ivy  over  the  doors  of  Italian 
wine-shops  has  the  same  signification  as  the  oak  bough, — that  is,  that  it 
makes  the  wine  innocuous.  Folkard  also  quotes  from  an  "old  writer"  (un- 
named) a  receipt  against  drunkenness  similar  to  the  one  given  from  Culpepper, 
except  that  it  recommends  the  simple  steeping  oi  ivy  leaves  in  the  wine.  It 
may  fairly  be  argued,  therefore,  that  the  ivy-bush  not  only  signified  that  wine 
was  to  be  had  within,  but  was  meant  also  as  a  hint  that  "good  wine  hurts 
nobody,"  and  that  the  proverb  embodied  this  hint. 

The  truth  appears  to  be  that  it  was  read  in  different  ways  by  different 
people,  but  was  usually  interpreted  according  to  the  sense  of  the  ancient 
Roman  formula  in  which  it  was  first  embodied. 

Wine,  Serving.  The  pouring  of  a  little  wine  first  into  the  host's  glass  is 
continued  to-day  merely  as  a  precaution  against  possible  dust  or  shreds  of 
cork  being  offered  to  a  guest.  In  Italy  a  more  obvious  reason  exists.  Sweet 
oil  is  there  poured,  before  corking,  into  the  neck  of  a  wine-flask,  where  it  floats 
above  the  wine  and  excludes  the  air.  The  first  mouthful  of  wine,  after  the 
oil  is  removed,  may  therefore  still  have  some  lingering  oleaginous  flavor,  and 
consequently  is  taken,  as  a  matter  of  courtesy,  by  the  host.  Yet  there  may 
also  be  some  reminiscence  here  of  the  custom  among  the  Greeks  and  Romans 
for  the  host  at  entertainments  to  pour  a  small  quantity  of  wine  upon  the  floor 
as  a  sort  of  propitiation  to  the  gods, — a  practice  somewhat  equivalent  to  our 
grace  before  meat. 

Wine,  Woman,  and  Song.  Burton,  in  his  "Anatomy  of  Melancholy'' 
(Part  I.,  Sec.  ii.,  M«m.  3,  Subs.  13),  speaks  thus  of  the  first  two  members  of 
our  triad, — 

I  may  not  here  omit  those  two  main  plagues  and  common  dotages  of  humankind,  wine 
and  women,  which  have  infatuated  and  besotted  myriads  of  people  :  they  go  commonly  to- 
jiether,— 

And  cites  the  following  from  Persius  : 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1091 

Qui  vino  indulget,  quemque  alea  decoquit,  ille 
In  venerem  putret. 

Satires,  v. 
("  He  who  is  given  to  drink,  and  whom  the  dice  are  despoiling,  is  the  one  who  rots  away 
in  venery.") 

Nevertheless,  the  Germans  have  a  famous  distich  celebrating  wine  and 
women,  and  adding  music  as  the  third  of  a  myotic  triad  necessary  in  every 
right  scheme  of  manly  education  : 

Wer  nicht  liebt  Wein,  Weib  und  Gesang, 
Der  bleibt  ein  Narr  sein  Lebelang. 
("  Who  loves  not  woman,  wine,  and  song. 
Remains  a  fool  his  whole  life  long.") 

This  has  often  been  attributed  to  Martin  Luther,  but  without  any  authority. 
In  substance  it  is  credited  to  Soloris  by  Chevreau  :  "  Soloris's  philosophy  did 
not  seem  to  be  of  a  very  austere  cast,  when  he  said  that  wine,  women,  and 
the  Muses  constituted  the  pleasures  of  human  life." 

"Wink,  To  tip  the,  a  familiar  colloquialism,  meaning  to  give  an  order 
on  the  sly  or  in  a  mute  fashion  when  a  concerned  third  party  is  present.  It 
occurs  frequently  in  Swift :  thus,  in  a  paper  contributed  by  him  to  the  Toiler 
(No.  20) :  "  As  oftftn  as  I  called  for  small  beer  the  master  tipped  the  wink, 
and  the  servant  brought  me  a  brimmer  of  October."  Johnson's  Dictionary 
quotes  the  following  stanza  from  Swift : 

The  stock-jobber  thus  from  Change  Alley  goes  down 

And  tips  you  the  freeman  a  wink  : 
Let  me  have  your  vote  to  serve  for  the  town. 
And  here  is  a  guinea  to  drink. 

Wisdom.    See  with  how  little  wisdom  the  world  is  governed. 

These  words  are  attributed  to  Axel,  Count  Oxenstiern,  Chancellor  of  Sweden 
(1583-1654).  At  the  conclusion  of  the  Thirty  Years'  War,  in  1648,  Oxen- 
stiern's  son  was  appointed  to  represent  Sweden  at  the  Peace  Congress  of 
Westphalia.  The  young  man  hesitated,  pleading  his  ignorance  and  inexperi- 
ence. But  the  Chancellor  induced  him  to  accept,  saying,  "An  nescis,  mi  fili, 
quantilla  prudentia  mundus  regitur .'"'  ("Dost  thou  not  know,  my  son,  with 
how  little  wisdom  the  world  is  governed  ?")  The  hard-headed  old  mother  of 
the  clever  and  restless  Dutch  politician  Van  Benningsen  gave  him  the  same 
assurance  when  he  shrank  from  public  office,  fearing  it  would  be  too  much  for 
him.  Lord  Byron,  referring  to  the  Chancellor's  words,  weakens  them  by 
changing  the  mood.  John  Selden  talks  of  "  a  wise  Pope  that,  when  one  that 
used  to  be  merry  with  him  before  he  was  advanced  to  the  popedom  refrained 
afterwards  to  come  at  him  (presuming  he  was  busy  in  governing  the  Christian 
world),  sent  for  him,  bade  him  come  again,  and  (says  he)  we  will  be  merry  as 
we  were  before,  for  thou  little  thinkest  what  a  little  foolery  governs  the  whole 
world."  Lord  Chatham,  too,  wrote  to  Lord  Shelburne,  "It  calls  to  my 
mind  what  some  Pope,  Alexander  VI.  or  Leo,  said  to  a  son  of  his  afraid 
to  undertake  governing, — i.e.,  confounding — the  Christian  world  :  '  Nescis, 
mi  fili,  quam  parva  sapientia  hie  noster  mundus  regitur.'  "  The  Pope  referred 
to  by  both  Selden  and  Lord  Chatham  was  probably  Julius  III.  (1550-55), 
who,  when  a  Portuguese  monk  pitied  him  for  that  he  had  the  weight  of  the 
world  upon  his  shoulders,  replied,  "  You  would  be  surprised  if  you  knew  with 
how  little  expense  of  understanding  the  world  is  ruled."  It  was  a  maxim  of 
Turgot,  "  Do  not  govern  the  world  too  much." 

Wisdom  of  our  ancestors.  Lord  Brougham  says  it  was  Bacon  who 
first  used  this  well-known  phrase.  But  he  gives  no  reference  to  chapter  and 
verse.     In  the  absence  of  completer  evidence,  the  phrase  must  be  fathered 


I092  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

upon  Burke,  who  in  a  speech  on  Conciliation  with  America,  March  22,  1775, 
declared  that  he  set  out  "  with  a  perfect  distrust  of  my  own  abilities,  a  total 
renunciation  of  every  speculation  of  my  own,  and  with  a  profound  reverence 
for  the  wisdom  of  our  ancestors."  The  idea  is,  of  course,  a  commonplace. 
That  the  elder  days  were  wiser  than  our  own — that,  in  the  misused  Biblical 
phrase,  "  there  were  giants  in  the  earth  in  those  days"  (Genesis  vi.  4),  as  com- 
pared with  the  pygmies  of  the  present — has  ever  been  one  of  the  illusions  of 
the  conservative  intelligence,  and  has  stood  in  the  way  of  every  reform  that 
threatened  the  extinction  of  a  hoary  abuse  or  a  time-honored  folly.  Sydney 
Smith,  in  "  Plymley's  Letters,"  v.,  has  admirably  ridiculed  the  excesses  of  this 
popular  superstition  :  "  All  this  cant  about  our  ancestors  is  merely  an  abuse 
of  words,  by  transferring  phrases  true  of  contemporary  men  to  succeeding 
ages.  Whereas  of  living  men  the  oldest  has,  cateris  paribus,  the  most  experi- 
ence, of  generations  the  oldest  has,  cceteris paribus,  the  least  experience.  Our 
ancestors  up  to  the  Conquest  were  children  in  arms  ;  chubby  boys  in  the  time 
of  Edward  I.  ;  striplings  under  Elizabeth  ;  men  in  the  reign  of  Queen  Anne  ; 
and  we  are  the  only  white-bearded,  silver-headed  ancients,  who  have  treasured 
up,  and  are  prepared  to  profit  by,  all  the  experience  human  life  can  supply.  .  .  . 
And  yet  whenever  the  Chancellor  comes  forward  to  protect  some  abuse,  or  to 
oppose  some  plan  which  has  the  increase  of  human  happiness  for  its  object, 
his  first  appeal  is  always  to  the  wisdom  of  our  ancestors  ;  and  he  himself  and 
many  noble  lords  who  vote  with  him  are,  to  this  hour,  persuaded  that  all 
alterations  and  amendments  on  their  devices  are  an  unblushing  controversy 
between  youthful  temerity  and  mature  experience  ;  and  so  in  truth  they  are, — 
only  that  much-loved  magistrate  mistakes  the  young  for  the  old,  and  the  old 
for  the  young,  and  is  guilty  of  that  very  sin  against  experience  which  he 
attributes  to  the  lovers  of  innovations."    (See  Antiquitas  S.«culi  Juventus 

MUNDI.) 

"Wise  after  the  event.  Chief- Justice  Jervis,  in  an  opinion  quoted  by 
Baron  Bramwell  (5  Jur.,  N.  S.,  658),  said,  'Nothing  is  so  easy  as  to  be  wise 
after  the  event," — which  is  a  fairly  literal  rendering  of  tho  French  proverb 
"  Tout  le  monde  est  sage  apres  coup."  "  Their  hindsight  is  better  than  their 
foresight,"  is  our  American  equivalent.  In  the  same  vein  is  Disraeli's  "  Many 
a  great  wit  has  thought  the  wit  it  was  too  late  to  speak,"  which  is  Disraeli's 
only  in  its  verbal  garb,  the  idea  being  a  commonplace  with  jesters.  Rivarol, 
summing  up  the  matter,  says,  "  One  could  make  a  great  book  of  what  has 
not  been  said."  Concerning  M.  de  Treville,  who  was  more  fluent  of  speech 
than  himself,  Rivarol  remarked,  "  He  vanquishes  me  in  the  drawing-room, 
but  surrenders  to  me  at  discretion  on  the  stairs"  ("  II  me  bat  dans  la  chambre, 
mais  il  n'est  pas  plus  tot  au  bas  de  I'escalier  que  je  i'ai  confondu").  Gold- 
smith's epigram,  "  I  always  get  the  better  when  I  argue  alone,"  is  an  analogous 
expression. 

"Wisest,  brightest,  meanest  of  mankind.  So  Pope  characterizes 
Francis  Bacon  : 

If  parts  allure  thee,  think  how  Bacon  shined, 
The  wisest,  brightest,  meanest  of  mankind. 

A  less  striking  antithesis  of  the  same  kind  may  be  found  in  Oldham's  Satire 
on  Poets : 

On  Butler  who  can  think  without  just  rage  ? 
The  glory  and  the  scandal  of  the  age ; 

which  Pope,  again,  has  very  closely  imitated  : 

At  length  Erasmus,  that  great  injured  name. 
The  glory  of  the  priesthood,  and  the  shame. 


I 


LITERARY  CURIOSITIES.  1093 

Young  remembered  the  antithesis  when  he  said, — 

Of  some  for  glory  such  the  boundless  rage, 
That  they're  the  blackest  scandal  of  the  age. 

Voltaire,  an  admirer  of  Pope,  seems  to  have  borrowed  a  part  of  the  expres- 
sion :  .  , 

Scandale  de  I'eglise,  et  des  rois  le  modele. 

■Wit  with  dunces,  and  a  dunce  -with  wits,  A,  a  famous  line  in 
Pope's  "  Dunciad,"  Book  iv.,  1.  90,  embodying  an  antithesis  which  is  of  con- 
stant recurrence  in  literature.  Thus,  since  Pope's  time  Johnson  has  said  of 
Lord  Chesterfield,  "This  man  I  thought  had  been  a  lord  among  wits,  but  I 
find  he  is  only  a  wit  among  lords"  (Boswell  :  Life,  vol.  ii.  ch.  i.) ;  Scott  has 
said  of  Napoleon,  "Though  too  much  of  a  soldier  among  sovereigns,  no  one 
could  claim  with  a  better  right  to  be  a  sovereign  among  soldiers"  (^Life  of 
Napoleon) ;  while  Cowper  alludes  sarcastically  to 

The  solemn  fop,  significant  and  budge, 

A  fool  with  judges,  among  fools  a  judge. 

Conversation. 

But  long  before  Pope's  time  the  sentiment  may  be  found,— even  in  mediaeval 
and  ancient  writers.     Here  are  a  few  random  instances  : 

Who  though  I  speak  it  before  his  face,  if  he  be  not  fellow  with  the  best  king,  thou  shalt 
find  the  best  king  of  good  fellows.— Shakespeare  :  King  Henry  V.,  Act  v.,  Sc.  2. 

Fu.seli  gave  another  turn  to  the  phrase  when  Northcote  asked  him  what 
he  thought  of  his  picture  "  Balaam  and  the  Ass :"  "  My  friend,  you  are  an 
angel  at  an  ass,  but  an  ass  at  an  angel."  _ 

This  sort  of  mixed  character,  and  indeed  generally  the  antitheses  in  which 
Johnson  delighted,  were  cleverly  burlesqued  by  Andrew  Erskine  in  one  of  his 
letters  to  Boswell,  in  which  he  tells  him,  "  Since  I  saw  you  I  received  a  letter 

from  Mr.  D ;    it  is  filled  with  encomiums  upon  you  ;    he  says  there  is  a 

great  deal  of  humility  in  your  vanity,  a  great  deal  of  tallness  in  your  short- 
ness, and  a  great  deal  of  whiteness  in  your  black  complexion.  He  says  there's 
a  great  deal  of  poetry  in  your  prose,  and  a  great  deal  of  prose  in  your  poetry. 
He  says  that  as  to  your  late  publication,  there  is  a  great  deal  of  Ode  in  your 
Dedication,  and  a  great  deal  of  Dedication  in  your  Ode.  He  says  there  is  a 
great  deal  of  coat  in  your  waistcoat,  and  a  great  deal  of  waistcoat  in  your  coat, 
that  there  is  a  great  deal  of  liveliness  in  your  stupidity,  and  a  great  deal  of 
stupidity  in  your  liveliness.  But  to  write  you  all  he  says  would  require  rather 
more  fire  in  my  grate  than  there  is  at  present,  and  my  fingers  would  un- 
doubtedly be  numbed,  for  there  is  a  great  deal  of  snow  in  this  frost,  and  a 
great  deal  of  frost  in  this  snow." 


X,  the  twenty-fourth  letter  and  nineteenth  consonant  in  the  English  alpha- 
bet, used  with  its  modern  value  in  the  Latin  alphabet,  where  it  was  for  a  long 
time  the  last  letter,  coming  after  U  or  V,  which  were  identical.  In  form  the 
character  was  borrowed  by  the  Latins  from  the  Greek  X,  an  addition  to  the 
Phoenician  alphabet.  This  had  originally  a  double  value,  that  of  kh  and  that 
of  ks.  The  former  alone  survived  among  the  Greeks  ;  the  latter  was  carried 
over  to  the  Roman  alphabet  when  the  sign  was  adopted.  Our  letter  follows 
the  Roman  usage  in  pronunciation,  save  for  some  slight  exceptions  when  it  is 
an  initial :  it  then  comes  very  close  in  sound  to  the  Greek  $.  In  all  respects 
the  letter  is,  and  always  has  been,  a  superfluous  one. 
2W  92 


I094  HANDY-BOOK  OF 

X,  XX,  and  XXX  are  signs  used  by  brewers.  The  single  X  originally 
represented  the  ten  shillings  excise  which  beer  of  a  certain  quality  had  to  pay, 
and  so  became  a  sign  for  that  quality.  Hence  the  other  signs  grew  up  as 
representing  double  or  triple  the  strength  of  X  ale. 

Among  policemen  the  "  X"  is  a  method  of  arrest  used  with  desperadoes, 
which  consists  in  getting  a  firm  grasp  on  the  collar,  drawing  the  captive's  hand 
over  the  holding  arm,  and  pressing  the  fingers  down  in  a  peculiar  way,  so  that 
the  arm  can  be  more  easily  broken  than  liberated. 

Xmas,  an  abbreviation  for  "Christmas."  X  is  the  initial  letter  of  thg 
Greek  name  for  Christ,  Xptarof,  and  the  coincidence  of  its  cruciform  shape 
led  early  to  its  adoption  as  a  figure  and  symbol  of  Christ.  In  the  Catacombs 
X  is  frequently  found  to  stand  for  Christ.  The  earliest  Christian  artists,  when 
making  a  representation  of  the  Trinity,  would  place  either  a  cross  or  an  X 
beside  the  Father  and  the  Holy  Ghost.  But  the  extension  of  the  symbol  to 
compound  or  derivative  words  like  Xmas  and  Xtianity  is  an  afifectation  which, 
though  sanctioned  by  long  usage,  cannot  be  commended. 


Y. 

Y,  the  twenty-fifth  letter  in  the  English  alphabet,  with  both  a  vowel  and  a 
consonant  value.  (See  U.)  As  a  vowel  it  is  useless,  representing  nothing  that 
could  not  be  denoted  by  i.  As  a  consonant  it  is  a  totally  different  letter  of 
Saxon  origin  which  has  merged  into  the  Latin  sign.  And  in  the  archaic  forms 
ye,  yat,  etc.,  it  represents  a  Saxon  and  Middle  English  sign  for  th,  and  should 
be  pronounced  like  th  in  the. 

Yankee,  a  term  of  dubious  etymology  and  varied  uses.  The  derivation 
accepted  as  most  plausible  by  leading  authorities  makes  it  a  slight  corruption 
of  the  word  "  Yengeese,"  applied  to  the  English  by  the  Northern  Indian 
tribes  to  whom  they  first  became  known, — a  meritorious  aboriginal  attempt 
to  pronounce  "  English,"  In  Europe  the  word  Yankee  means  an  American 
from  any  portion  of  the  United  States  ;  in  the  South  it  nieans  an  inhabitant 
of  the  Northern  States  ;  and  in  the  North  it  retains  its  original  specific  ap- 
plication to  the  inhabitants  of  the  New  England  States. 


Z,  the  twenty-sixth  character  in  the  English  alphabet,  and  the  last  there,  as 
in  the  later  Roman  alphabet.  It  was  the  seventh  sign  in  the  Phoenician  and 
the  sixth  in  the  Grecian  system.  In  America  it  is  usually  called  "zee,"  in 
England  "zed."     An  older  name,  "izzard,"  still  survives  locally. 

It  has  often  been  noticed  that  the  stage  names  of  female  acrobats  and 
circus-riders  strangely  affect  the  initial  Z.  C.  G.  Leland  explains  that  names 
like  Zazel,  Zaniel,  Zoe,  are  all  derived  from  Hebrew  or  Yiddish  words 
meaning  "devil"  or  "goblin." 

Zero,  the  figure  o,  which  stands  for  naught  in  the  Arabic  notation.  From 
its  double  capacity  of  representing  nothing  as  an  individual  and  a  decimal 
multiple  when  put  in  the  right  sort  of  company,  it  has  afforded  lots  of  fun 
to  the  humorist.  The  sort  of  fun  may  be  gathered  from  the  French  epigram 
made  when  La  Bruyere  was  rejected  by  the  Academy : 


'  LITER  A  R  Y  CURIOSITIES.  1 095 

Quand  La  Bruyere  se  presente, 

Pourquoi  faut-il  crier  haro  ? 
Pour  faire  le  nombre  de  quarante 

Ne  fallait-il  pas  un  zero? 

("  When  La  Bruyere  presented  himself,  why  object  ?  To  make  up  the  number  forty  was 
not  a  zero  necessary?") 

A  more  elaborate  form  of  the  same  kind  of  drollery  is  presented  in  the 
following  story.  There  was  at  Amadan  a  celebrated  Academy  whose  first  rule 
was  framed  in  these  words :  "  The  members  of  this  Academy  shall  think 
much,  write  little,  and  be  as  silent  as  they  can." 

A  candidate  offered  himself.  He  was  too  late  :  the  vacancy  had  been  filled. 
His  merit  was  recognized,  and  all  lamented  their  own  disappointment  in 
lamenting  his.     The  president  asked  that  the  candidate  should  be  introduced. 

His  simple  and  modest  air  was  in  his  favor.  The  president  rose  and  pre- 
sented him  with  a  cup  of  pure  water,  so  full  that  a  single  drop  more  would 
have  made  it  overflow.  Not  a  word  did  he  add  to  this  emblematical  hint,  but 
his  countenance  betrayed  his  emotion. 

The  candidate  understood  that  he  could  not  be  received  because  the  number 
was  complete.  But,  casting  about  him  for  a  method  of  reply,  he  observed  at 
his  feet  a  rose.  Picking  it  up,  he  detached  a  single  petal,  which  he  laid  so 
gently  on  the  surface  of  the  water  that  not  a  drop  escaped.  The  applause 
was  universal.  Every  one  recognized  that  he  meant  to  imply  that  a  supernu- 
merary member  would  displace  nothing,  and  would  make  no  essential  differ- 
ence in  the  rule  they  had  prescribed.  He  was  at  once  presented  with  the 
register  whereon  successful  candidates  wrote  their  names.  He  wrote  his 
name  ;  then,  as  a  delicate  way  of  presenting  thanks,  he  wrote  on  the  slate  the 
figures  100,  representing  the  number  of  his  new  associates  ;  then,  putting  a 
cipher  before  the  i,  he  wrote,  "Their  value  will  be  the  same, — 0100."  The 
courteous  and  ingenious  president  was  not  to  be  baffled.  He  took  the  slate 
in  his  turn,  substituted  the  figure  i  for  the  added  zero,  and  wrote,  "  They 
will  have  eleven  times  the  value  they  had, — iioo." 

Zouaves,  a  famous  French  military  corps.  The  word  is  corrupted  from 
Zouaoua,  a  terrible  welter  of  vowels,  proudly  borne  as  the  name  of  a  warlike 
Kabyle  tribe  in  Africa.  These  had  always  maintained  a  practical  indepen- 
dence. They  made  excellent  mercenaries,  selling  valor  and  fidelity  to  their 
buyers  at  reasonable  market  rates.  The  first  levy  of  Zouaouas  was  raised  in 
1830,  by  General  Clausel.  It  consisted  of  two  battalions,  and  was  originally 
composed  of  native  African  soldiers,  with  French  officers  and  soldiers. 
Gradually  roving  adventurers  from  Paris  and  other  large  cities  crowded  out 
the  native  soldiers.  Finally  all  the  European  members  of  the  corps  other 
than  French  were  removed  from  the  Zouaves  and  were  formed  into  the  For- 
eign Legion.  Later  still,  at  the  summons  of  Abd-el-Kader,  large  numbers 
of  the  native  Zouaves  deserted  from  the  colors  and  joined  the  ranks  of  their 
compatriots ;  in  consequence  of  which  the  proportion  of  Frenchmen  in  the 
corps  was  greatly  increased.  In  1841  a  third  battalion  was  raised,  the  corps 
was  entirely  remodelled,  and  it  was  decreed  that  thereafter  there  should  be 
only  one  company  of  African  natives  in  each  battalion.  From  that  time  even 
that  reduced  proportion  of  natives  steadily  decreased,  until  in  the  end  the 
Zouaves  consisted  of  Frenchmen  only. 


INDEX  OF  CROSS-REFERENCES. 


A. 

A  is  an  angel  of  blushing  eighteen,  43. 

Aaron's  rod,  519. 

Abecedarian  psalms,  11. 

Abingdon  law,  571. 

Absolute  monarchy  tempered  by  songs,  79. 

Achilles  and  the  tortoise,  855. 

Acknowledge  the  corn,  192. 

Acquaintance,  scrape  an,  990. 

Actions  of  the  just,  987. 

Adam  and  Eve,  311. 

Adam  and  of  Eve,  son  of,  323. 

Adam   looked  when  from  the  garden,  thus, 

531- 
Adam  the  goodliest  man,  125. 
Admirable  Crichton,  196. 
Admire  nothing,  805. 
Advertising  epitaphs,  325. 
jEneas,  Pius,  307 

jEsop  dancing  and  his  monkey  playing,  536. 
Age  cannot  wither  her,  360. 
Agnes,  I  love  but  thee  !  506. 
Albums,  72.  * 

Aldines,  96. 

Ales,  church  or  holy,  156. 
Alexandrian  library,  659. 
All  men  have  their  price,  946. 
All  my  eye,  352. 
Allured  to  brighter  worlds,  916. 
Alone,  so  heaven  has  willed,  we  die,  567. 
Alter  et  idem,  986. 
Amber,  fly  in,  379. 
Ambiguity  in  epitaphs,  330. 
America,  800. 

Another  and  the  same,  986. 
Anticipation,  913. 
Ape,  to,  334. 
Ape  of  humankind,  310. 
Apella,  credat  Judseus,  196. 
Apres  nous  le  deluge,  228. 
Arithmetical  curiosities,  824. 
Armed,  thrice  is  he,  187. 
Ashes  may  be  made,  from  his,  1077. 
Aspiring  youth,  348. 
Ass,  Buridan's,  134. 
Ass,  who  would  not  see  an,  311. 
Assume  a  virtue,  437. 
Auch  ich  war  in  Arkadien  geboren,  66. 
Augustine,  St.,  and  the  child,  153. 
Avarice,  a  good  old  gentlemanly  vice,  565. 


Back  seat,  take  a,  1045. 
Bacon,  Lord,  his  title,  518. 
Bacon  shined,  think  how,  1092. 
1096 


Badger  State,  1039. 

Balances,  a  pair  of,  519. 

Balloon  hoax,  471. 

Baptism  of  fire,  the,  370. 

Bar  sinister,  519. 

Barbarian,  gray,  344. 

Barnaby,  Bishop,  606. 

Baseless  fabric  of  this  vision,  loco. 

Battalions,  heaviest,  419. 

Bear  licks  her  cubs,  631. 

Beautiful  Snow  controversy,  165. 

Beauty  draws  us  with  a  single  hair,  438. 

Beauty  unadorned,  1012. 

Bed,  we  laugh  in,  534. 

Beginning  of  the  end,  282. 

Beginnings,  meet  the,  920. 

Begot  by  butchers,  37. 

Behring  Sea,  516. 

Belgrade,  siege  of,  8. 

Bell  the  cat,  140. 

Ben  trovato,  991. 

Berkeley  said,  when  Bishop,  718. 

Bemers  Street  hoax,  475. 

Best,  corruption  of  the,  192. 

Better  the  day  better  the  deed,  215. 

Bifrons  atque  custos,  305. 

Billet,  123. 

Bill-posting,  24. 

Bird  that  fouls  its  own  nest,  ill,  215,  239. 

Birth  and  death  on  same  day,  174. 

Birth,  crying  at,  208,  305. 

Birth  nothing  but  death  begun,  105. 

Bishop  who  has  finished  his  studies,  1036. 

Bite,  141. 

Black  Maria,  691. 

Blasted  with  excess  of  light,  635. 

Blazing  ubiquities,  416. 

Blessings  brighten  as  they  take  their  flight 

913- 
Blood  and  iron,  559. 
Blundering  and  plundering,  696. 
Blundering  Brougham,  36. 
Bo  to  a  goose,  424. 
Boat  is  on  the  shore,  my,  741. 
Bogie,  121. 

Bookful  blockhead,  ignorantly  read,  623. 
Bonnet  rouge,  629. 
Book?  who  reads  an  American,  51. 
Bom,  or,  being  bom,  to  die,  208. 
Borrow,  or  beg,  or  get  a  man's  own,  311. 
Bottle  hoax,  475. 

Bragg,  a  little  more  grape.  Captain,  428. 
Bravo  !  397. 

Bread  and  butter,  smell  of,  1015. 
Bridges,  burning  the,  1005. 
British  lion,  1063. 
Broke  the  outer  shell  of  sin,  324. 


INDEX. 


1097 


Brother  Jonathan,  1070. 
Brougham,  blundering,  36. 
Brutus,  thou  too,  339. 
Bucking  the  tiger,  1053. 
Buddenseik,  573. 

Bugle  horn,  one  blast  upon  his,  495. 
Bull  on  stock  exchange,  83. 
Bullocks,  talk  of,  494. 
Bulls  in  epiiaphs,  327. 
Bulwer-Tennyson  quarrel,  796. 
Burleigh  nod.  Lord,  657. 
Burlesques,  863. 

Burning  bridges  and  ships,  1005. 
Bush,  good  wine  needs  no,  1089. 
Buy  at  price  he  is  worth.  312. 
Buyer  and  seller,  145. 


Cadmus  and  the  alphabet,  41. 

Caesar  did  never  wrong,  125. 

Cain  and  Abel,  fraternity  of,  629. 

Calumet,  8gi. 

Cambridge,  books  to,  530. 

Candle  to  the  devil,  229. 

Candle  to  the  sun,  1040. 

Canossa,  we  are  not  going  to,  775. 

Care  to  our  coffin  adds  a  nail,  6i5. 

Carlos,  Don,  465. 

Carolina,  governors  of,  426. 

Carthage,  how  built,  141. 

Carthago,  delenda  est,  268. 

Castle,  man's  house  is  his,  496. 

Cat  will  jump,  how,  365 

Cat's  away,  mice  will  play,  345. 

Cathay,  cycle  of,  344. 

Ce  n'est  que  le  premier  pas  qui  coute,  920. 

Cent,  for  a,  33. 

Centos,  744. 

C'est  magnifique,  mais  ce  n'est  pas  la  guerre, 

684. 
Chamouni  at  sunrise,  894. 
Chanty,  looi. 

Charbonnier  est  maltre  chez  soi,  496. 
Cheer  but  not  inebriate,  209. 
Cheshire  cat,  432. 
Chess,  life  like  a  game  of,  1032. 
Chiffre  indechiffrable,  159. 
Childhood's  hour,  'twas  ever  thus  from,  738. 
Children  run  to  lisp  their  sire's  return,  588. 
Chillon,  prisoner  of,  464. 
Chimaera  bombinans  in  vacuo,  938. 
China  to  Peru,  837. 
Christ  was  the  word,  528. 
Christian,  judge,  and  poet,  312, 
Church,  little,  around  the  comer,  650. 
Ci-git  ma  femme,  309   315. 
Clarence,  Dukes  of,  173. 
Cobbler  and  his  last,  793. 
Cocked  hat,  591. 
Cockney  school.  609. 
Columbus  and  the  eclipse,  465. 
Come  what  may,  I  have  been  blessed,  651. 
Comets,  come  every  day  and  stay  a  year. 

Complexion,  to  this,  317. 
Conjectural  emendation,  277. 
Conscience  does  make  cowards,  961. 
Constaniine's  dream,  540. 
Contentment,  688. 


92* 


Continental  damn,  147. 

Convey  the  wise  it  call,  368. 

Convincing  thought  of,  238. 

Cook  your  goose,  423 

Cooks,  cannot  live  without,  260. 

Cor  ne  edito,  260. 

Corrector,  Alexander  the,  33. 

Cosa  fatto  capo  ha,  922. 

Cosmopolite,  162. 

Cotton,  King,  587. 

Count  chickens  before  they  are  hatched,  151. 

Coute  que  coute,  397. 

Coward  conscience,  186. 

Crapaud,  Jean,  570. 

Crazy-bone,  402. 

Creation,  had  I  been  present  at  the,  26. 

Credite  experto,  350. 

Crocodile  syllogism,  856. 

Cromwell   guiltless  of  his   country's  blood, 

758. 
Cross  of  St.  Andrew,  61. 
Croutons,  138. 
Crying  at  birth,  208,  305. 
Cryptograms,  157. 
Curse,  too  good  for  a,  106. 
Curses,  831. 
Custom,  tyrant,  437. 
Cut  your  coat,  168. 
Czar,  518. 


D.  M.,  315. 

Daggers,  speak,  1023. 

Dalhousy,  the  great  god  of  war,  8a. 

Dam  and  damn,  147. 

Dark,  leap  in  the,  621. 

Darwinism,  62. 

Dash  above  a  dot,  534. 

Davy  Jones,  580. 

Daws  to  peck  at,  456. 

Day  in  thy  courts,  345. 

Days,  lucky  and  unlucky,  1072. 

De  gustibus,  146. 

De  in  French  names,  518. 

De  mortuis,  348, 

Dead  as  Chelsea,  151. 

Dead,  nothing  but  good  of  the,  348. 

Deaf  as  an  adder,  16. 

Dear  me  I  836. 

Death  borders  upon  birth,  195. 

Death  in  itself  is  nothing,  621. 

Decalogue  in  rhyme,  609. 

Deceived,  people  wish  to  be,  911. 

Deeds,  not  years,  345,  740. 

Deer,  stricken,  1036. 

Defer  not  till  to-morrow,  921. 

Dej4!  467. 

Delays  have  dangerous  ends,  921. 

Delaware  and  Blue  Hen's  chickens,  108. 

Delenda  est  Carthago,  268. 

Denicheur  de  merles,  351. 

Desert  of  the  mind,  1074. 

Despotism  tempered  by  assassination,  985 

Devil  builds  a  chapel  there.  156. 

Devil  catch  the  hindmost,  345. 

Devil,  Death,  and  Sin,  309. 

Diamonds,  nine  of,  805. 

Diamonds,  valley  of,  337, 

Dido  dumb,  539. 


topS 


INDEX. 


Dido's  bargain,  141. 

Die,  how  to,  154. 

Die,  and  go  we  know  not  where,  621. 

Diem  perdidi,  215. 

Dieu  me  pardonnera,  984. 

Differ,  agreeing  to,  32. 

Dining,  live  without,  260. 

Dining  with  Duke  Humphrey,  500. 

Dinner-bell,  the  tocsin  of  the  soul,  565. 

Dirt,  to  throw,  752. 

Discharge  Bible,  92. 

Do  noble  things,  not  dream  them,  423. 

Doctors  Quiet,  Diet,  and  Merryman,  616. 

Dodo,  336. 

Doe,  John,  978. 

Dog,  hair  of,  1012. 

Dog,  living,  and  dead  lion,  651. 

Dog,  scalded,  135. 

Dog,  try  it  on  the,  366. 

Dollar,  almighty,  40. 

Done,  what's,  we  partly  may  compute,  499. 

Done  when  'tis  done,  102. 

Don't  give  up  the  ship,  1005. 

Door  was  open,  wind  blew  it  in,  1089. 

Doubts  are  traitors,  961. 

Dragons,  336. 

Dress,  a  sweet  disorder  in  the,  1013. 

Drink  deep  or  taste  not,  622. 

Drops  of  water,  little.  713. 

Drowning  and  hanging,  449. 

Drums,  funeral,  456. 

Dude-and-pharisee,  752. 

Duke  Humphrey,  500. 

Dulce  et  decorum  est,  193. 

Dunce  abroad  and  at  home,  623. 

Dust,  half  deity,  half,  741. 

Dutch  mail  hoax,  470. 

Dwarf  on  giant's  shoulders,  414. 


Ears-to-ear  Bible,  92. 

Earthquake's  birth,  a  young,  759. 

Easy  Street,  627. 

Eat  your  cake  and  have  it,  138. 

Editorial,  620. 

Eel  of  science  by  the  tail,  542. 

Egg,  from  the,  8. 

Egg-problem,  858. 

Eggs,  teach  grandmother  to  suck,  428. 

Elegant  sufficiency,  689. 

Eleven,  the  number,  830. 

Elginbrodde,  Martin,  323. 

Ell,  an  inch  and  an,  541. 

Eloquence  of  eyes,  loio. 

Elzevirs,  96. 

Emperor  of  Germany,  518. 

Emptor,  caveat,  145. 

Encore !  397. 

Enemy,  we  have  met  the,  1005. 

England,  with  all  thy  faults,  194. 

English  history  in  rhyme,  705. 

English  spoken  here,  508. 

English  traits,  789. 

Enough  as  good  as  a  feast,  690. 

Ephesian  dome,  348. 

Equal,  all  men  born  free  and,  706. 

Equality,  629. 

Equivoques,  574. 

Erasmus,  that  great  injured  name,  1092. 


Err,  to,  is  human,  498. 

Es  irrt  der  Mensch,  498. 

Esprit  ?  can  a  German  have,  413. 

Esprit  de  corps,  397. 

Et  ego  in  Arcadia,  66. 

Eternal  Now,  822. 

Eve,  fairest  of  her  daughters,  125. 

Even  tenor  of  their  way,  944. 

Eveque,  etymology  of,  103. 

Evil  communications,  181. 

Eye  hath  not  seen,  944. 

Eye,  light  my  pipe  at  your,  890. 

Eyes,  babies  in  the,  76. 

Excusing  of  a  fault,  878. 

Expect,  suspect,  517. 


Faber  est  quisque  fortunae  suae,  67. 

Face  is  like  the  Milky  Way,  457. 

Fain  would  I  climb,  yet  fear  I  to  fall,  528. 

Faint  praise,  damn  with,  211. 

Fair,  fat,  and  forty,  395. 

Fair  maid,  you  need  not  take  the  hint,  537. 

Fairest  things  foulest  by  foul  deeds,  193. 

Faith  and  credulity,  146. 

Faith,  for  modes  of,  916. 

Father  and  child,  152. 

Fathers  and  fathers,  356. 

Fatti  maschi,  parole  femine,  14, 

Faultless  piece,  357. 

Fears  his  fate  too  much,  961. 

Federation  of  the  world,  162. 

Fences,  mending,  707. 

Festina  lente,  33. 

Feu,  398. 

Fico  for  the  phrase,  368. 

Fiction,  names  in,  785. 

Fiction,  real  people  in,  949. 

Fights  and  runs  away,  239. 

Figurate  poems,  270. 

Figures,  curiosities  of,  824. 

Finger,  to  be  pointed  out  by  the,  237. 

Fire,  walking  on,  541. 

Fish,  pretty  kettle  of,  582. 

Five,  blocks  of,  106. 

Five,  its  mystic  qualities,  828. 

Flectere  si  nequeo  superos,  229. 

Floundering  and  foundering,  696. 

Flowers  growing  from  corpses,  1078. 

Folly  as  it  flies,  1006. 

Folly  at  full  length,  530. 

Fool  hath  said,  There  is  no  God,  70. 

Fool  thinks  he  is  wise,  592. 

Fool  with  judges,  1093. 

Foot  of  the  table,  454. 

Footprints  on  the  sands  of  time,  988. 

Forgiveness,  168,  391. 

Forked  radish,  505. 

Formosa,  767. 

Fortsas  catalogue,  474. 

Fortunatam  natam  me  consule  Romam,  995. 

Fought  on,  nor  knew  that  he  was  dead,  756. 

Four-in-hand,  492. 

Four,  its  mystic  qualities,  828. 

Fours,  all,  34. 

Fowls  of  the  air,  behold  the,  637. 

Fraternity,  629 

Free  and  equal,  706. 

French  traits,  789. 


INDEX. 


1099 


Frenchman  more,  only  one,  821. 

Friday  unlucky,  1071. 

Friend  of  my  better  days,  591. 

Friends,  adversity  of  our  best,  721. 

Friends  in  youth,  alas  !  they  had  been,  666. 

French  spoken  here,  508. 

Full  many  a  gem,  408. 

G. 

Garter,  pricking  the,  361. 

Gases  will  have  the  honor  of  combining,  182. 

Gave  we  have,  that  we,  317. 

Gazelle,  I  nevei-  nursed  a  dear,  738. 

Gentle  minde  by  gentle  deeds  is  knowne,  442. 

Gentleman  ?  where  was  then  the,  15. 

Geographical  names,  516. 

German  emperor,  518.  , 

German  traits,  789. 

Germans  fear  God,  418. 

Ghost-words,  886. 

Gladstone's  accent,  461. 

Glorious  uncertainty  of  law,  617. 

Glory  and  scandal  of  the  age,  1092. 

God,  and  man,  and  metre,  312. 

God  and  the  doctor,  231. 

God  erects  a  house  of  prayer,  156. 

God  is  best  pleased,  529. 

God  will  pardon  me,  985. 

God  would  destroy,  whom,  937. 

Goddamn,  834. 

Godlike,  unmoved,  351. 

Gold,  sell  for,  997. 

Golden  chain  of  love,  917. 

Golden  mean,  793. 

Golden  rule,  996. 

Gonin,  Maitre,  685. 

Good  frend,  for  Jesus  sake  forbeare,  315. 

Good  interred  with  his  bones,  348. 

Good  man  never  dies,  315. 

Good  name  in  man  or  woman,  960. 

Goodness  in  things  evil,  499. 

Gout  and  gout,  312. 

Grace  was  in  all  her  steps,  457. 

Grammar,  I  am  above,  1041. 

Grammar  in  rhyme,  702. 

Grapple  them  to  thy  soul,  400. 

Grave,  one  foot  in  the,  382. 

Grease,  stew  in  their  own,  1034. 

Great  First  Cause,  145. 

Great  wits  are  sure  to  madness.  410. 

Greatly  thought,  he  nobly  dared,  213. 

Greeks  meet  Greeks,  944. 

Green  be  the  turf  above  thee,  591. 

Grimaldi,  alas  !  I  am,  720. 

Grin  so  merry  draws  one  out,  every,  616. 

Guinea  and  the  gallows,  36. 

Gunter,  according  to,  169. 

Gustibus,  de,  147. 

Gutenberg  Bible,  98. 

H. 

Hair  of  the  dog  that  bit  you,  1012. 

Half  an  eye,  352. 

Half-breeds,  1033. 

Hallabaloo,  500. 

Hampden,  some  village,  758. 

Hand  that  rocks  the  cradle,  195. 

Happiness  of  the  greatest  number,  431. 


Happy  son  whose  father  went  to  hell,  523. 

Happy  the  man,  689. 

Hard  cider,  655. 

Hare,  catch  your,  371. 

Harmony  and  discord,  239. 

Haro,  clameur  de,  166. 

Hasten  slowly,  365. 

Hatched  a  cherubin,  324. 

He  either  fears  his  fate  too  much,  961. 

He  first  deceased,  316. 

He  that  will  not,  1054. 

Heads  I  win,  tails  you  lose,  491. 

Heart  fails  thee,  if  thy,  528. 

Heart  for  every  fate,  741. 

Heart  of  hearts,  516. 

Hearts,  two,  two  souls,  399. 

Heaven,  serve  in,  372. 

Heaven  to  mankind  impartial,  629. 

Heaving  or  lifting,  635. 

Helas,  madame !  600. 

Hell,  better  to  reign  in,  372. 

Hell  it  is  in  suing  long,  490. 

Hell  on  earth,  256. 

Hempe  is  spun,  13 

Henry,  Madcap,  463. 

Hercules,  from  the  foot,  349. 

Here  I  stand,  582. 

Hermit  hoar  in  solemn  cell,  531. 

Herring,  never  a  barrel  better,  1014. 

Hi  !  Hi !  ignorant  people  call  me,  60a. 

Hills  peep  o'er  hills,  45. 

Himself  his  worst  enemy,  283. 

Hoch  !  501. 

Home,  first  best  country  ever  is  at,  193. 

Hookey  Walker,  1070. 

Hope,  anchor  a  symbol  of,  61. 

Horse  starves  while  grass  grows,  429. 

How's  your  poor  feet  ?  364. 

Hunting-coat,  890. 

Husband  is  the  wife  is,  as  the,  494. 


I  am  a  royalist  by  trade,  984. 

I  held  it  truth  with  him  who  sings,  1033.' 

I  sit  with  my  toes  in  a  brook,  116. 

I  take  my  own  wherever  I  find  it,  884. 

Ich  dien,  363. 

Ich  habe  gelebt  und  geliebet,  651. 

Impossible,  strive  with  things,  125. 

Imposture,  761. 

In  medias  res,  8. 

In-bread,  78. 

Incapacity,  great  unrecognized,  1073. 

Inconstancy,  nothing  constant  but,  189. 

Infame  !  ecrasez  1',  267. 

Infirmity,  that  last,  358. 

Inspired  idiot,  392. 

Ireland  forgeries,  387. 

Irish  bulls,  128. 

Irish  sense  and  wit,  922. 

Italy  a  geographical  idea,  412. 

It's  all  very  well,  Mr.  Ferguson,  365. 

Ivy  in  wine,  1089. 

J. 

Jabberwocky,  810. 

Jamicoton,  833. 

Java  lost  to  the  English,  510. 


IIOO 


INDEX. 


Je  prends  mon  bien  ou  je  le  trouve,  884, 

Jerome,  dream  of  St.,  766. 

Jettatura,  346. 

Jew  Apella,  196. 

Joan  of  Arc,  463. 

Jockeys  for  me  !  them's  the,  loio. 

John  Bull,  123. 

John-a-combe,  529. 

Jokes,  resorts  to  his  memory  for  his,  706. 

Jonathan,  Brother,  1070. 

Judas-like,  your  Lord  and  God  denied,  526. 

Judgments  as  our  watches,  'tis  with  our,  1081. 

Judicious  bottle-holder,  115. 

Juggernaut,  car  of,  337. 

Justify  the  ways  of  God  to  man,  1007. 

Juventus  mundi,  63. 

K. 

Kicking,  alive  and,  34. 

Killing  no  murder,  754. 

Kind  hearts  are  more  than  coronets,  423. 

King  of  France  does  not  avenge,  467. 

Kingdoms  and  provinces,  588. 

Kings,  divine  right  of,  241. 

Knights  of  the  Carpetry,  140. 

Knights  of  the  Golden  Circle,  597. 

Knowledge  is  but  sorrow's  spy,  514. 


La  mort,  sans  phrase,  466. 

La  propriete,  c'est  le  vol,  922. 

Ladder  of  St.  Augustine,  1033. 

Lamb,  shorn,  420 

Lamb  thy  riot  dooms  to  bleed,  589. 

Languages  and  men,  943. 

Lasciaie  ogni  speranza,  490. 

Last  infirmity  of  noble  mind,  358. 

Last,  stick  to  your,  793. 

Laugh  that  shows  the  vacant  mind,  1074. 

Law  in  fiction,  724. 

Leafless  desert  of  the  mind,  1074. 

Left  our  country  for  our  country's  good,  194. 

Left  we  lost,  that  we,  317 

Let  no  guilty  man  escape,  338. 

Letter,  no  time  to  write  a  short,  604. 

Letters,  relative  use  of,  644. 

Liar  paradox,  856. 

Liberal  education,  to  love  her  was  a,  591. 

Licks  the  hand  just  raised  to  shed  his  blood. 

Lie  heavy  on  him,  earth,  314. 

Lie  in  literature,  1029. 

Life,  a  game  of  chess,  1032. 

Life  is  nothing  but  a  winter  day,  550. 

Life,  'tis  all  a  cheat,  489. 

Life  tolerable  but  for  pleasures,  901. 

Life's  but  a  walking  shadow,  1031. 

Light  my  pipe  at  your  eye,  8go. 

Lightning  from  heaven,  sceptre  from  tyrants. 

Like  cures  like,  ion. 

Liked  it  not  and  died,  316. 

Limbo,  380. 

Limp,  Alexandra,  33. 

Lion  and  the  lamb,  944. 

Lion,  dead,  651. 

Lips,  if  you  your,  1015. 


Lit  de  justice,  86. 

Little  I  ask,  689. 

Live  to  please  must  please  to  live,  740. 

Lively  to  severe,  430. 

Lives  of  great  men  all  remind  us,  710. 

Loan  oft  loses  both  itself  and  friend,  115. 

Lodge  in  some  vast  wilderness,  1088. 

Long  resounding  march,  945. 

Longing,  lingering  look,  635. 

Lonsdale's  Nine  Pins,  657. 

Loose  his  beard  and  hoary  hair,  713. 

Lord  among  wits,  1093. 

Lord's  prayer  in  rhyme,  700. 

Louse,  three  skips  of  a,  531. 

Love  and  hate,  351. 

Love  conquers  all,  843. 

Love  rules  the  court,  843. 

Loveliness  unadorned,  1013. 

Lucile  a  plagiarism,  895. 

Ludlam's  dog,  lazy  as,  579 

Lullaby,  123. 

Lumber,  loads  of  learned,  623, 

Lunatic  poet  and  lover,  411. 

Lydford  law,  571. 


M,  Napoleon  and  the  letter,  171. 

Macht  geht  vor  Recht,  975. 

Maelstrom,  335. 

Man  a  two-legged  animal,  901. 

Man  that  is  bom  of  woman,  633. 

Manners  with  fortunes,  1050. 

Man's  ingress  into  the  world,  604. 

Many-headed  monster,  1044. 

Marcou,  694. 

Mare,  gray,  430. 

Marly,  rain  of,  183. 

Marriage  anniversaries,  1082. 

Martyr  in  his  shirt  of  fire,  1066. 

Master  and  man,  345. 

Matter  what  he  said,  no,  718. 

Measures,  not  men,  820. 

Meat  and  canna  eat,  some  hae,  537. 

Medicine  in  fiction,  724. 

Medio  tutissimus  ibis,  in,  792. 

Melancholy,  720. 

Men  but  children  of  a  larger  growth,  152. 

Merit  wins  the  soul,  442. 

Merveilleuse,  541. 

Midway  in  the  path  of  life,  793. 

Might  makes  right,  975. 

Might   of  one  fair  face  sublimes   my   love, 

S9t- 
Mildest-mannered  man,  565. 
Millions,  brook  of,  121. 
Minute  writing,  520. 
Miracle,  accept  a,  531. 
Mirror,  656. 

Misfortunes,  mountain  of,  524. 
Misquotation,  944. 
Mnemonic  verses,  698. 
Moa,  336. 

Mob  of  gentlemen,  258. 
Moderation  in  all  things,  792. ' 
Modus  in  rebus,  792. 
Moments  make  the  year,  713. 
Mon  siege  est  fait,  466. 
Monte-Cristo,  164. 
Montenotte,  dates  from,  60. 


INDEX. 


I 


Monument  more  lasting  than  brass,  995. 

Moon  hoax,  471. 

Moonlight,  ISlelrose  by,  698. 

Moonsliine  on  a  dunghill,  1040. 

Moore,  rogueries  of  Tom,  762. 

Morrow,  take  no  thought  for  the,  637. 

Mors  janua  vitae,  219. 

Mother's  influence,  195. 

Mouse  that  trusts  to  one  hole,  1064. 

Move  immediately  on  your  works,  599. 

Much  of  a  muchness,  1014. 

Multitude,  many-headed,  1044. 

Murderers'  Bible,  gi. 

Muse,  I  bridle  in  my  struggling,  710. 

Music,  devil  has  all  the  good,  231. 

Music,  face  the,  353. 

Music,  frozen,  67. 

Music  hath  charms,  944. 

Mutability,  naught  may  endure  but,  189. 

Mutual  admiration,  185. 


N. 

Name  at  which  the  world  grew  pale,  740. 

Name  writ  in  water,  1081. 

Napoleon  and  the  letter  M,  171. 

Nation  of  shopkeepers,  1007. 

Nature  and  nature's  laws,  310. 

Nature  is  subdued  to  what  it  works  in,  437. 

Nearer  to  church  further  from  God,  156. 

Neat,  not  gaudy,  1012. 

Nee  tecum  possum  vivere,  104. 

Necessity,  virtue  of,  1078. 

Nee,  397. 

Needle,  eye  of  a,  138. 

Negro  has  no  rights,  946. 

Nessun  maggior  dolore,  1020. 

Never  grieved  save  by  death,  316. 

Never  said  a  foolish  thing,  308. 

New  and  nothing  true,  nothing,  821. 

New  thing  under  the  sun,  no,  884. 

Newspaper  advertising,  17. 

Newspaper  interviews,  554 

New  Zealander,  Macaulay's,  678. 

Night  brings  out  stars,  740. 

Nine  years,  put  away  writings  for,  819. 

Noscitur  a  sociis,  180. 

Nothing  can  be  known,  and  see  that,  593. 

Nothing  from  nothing,  349. 

Nothing  is  and  nothing's  not,  719 

Nova  Scotian  a  blue  nose,  108. 

Novels,  names  in,  785. 

Nowt  and  owt,  602. 

Nudity,  1013. 

Nympha  pudica  Deum  vidit,  187. 


Obstruction,  to  lie  in  cold,  621. 

Occupation,  absence  of,  1074. 

Odi  profanum  vulgus,  1044. 

Office  a  trust,  923. 

Office  proves  the  man,  915. 

Oft  in  danger,  yet  alive,  531. 

Oh,  may  I  join  the  choir  invisible,  46. 

Old  Corrector,  the,  391. 

Old  Guard  djes,  433. 

Old  man  of  the  sea,  337. 

Old  men  and  death,  635. 

Oliver  Twist  controversy,  163. 


Omne  ignotum  pro  magnifico,  359. 

One  book,  man  of,  iii. 

One,  number,  827. 

Oregon,  English  surrender  of,  510. 

Originality,  884. 

Ossian,  387. 

Ounce  of  prevention,  918. 

Out,  out,  brief  candle  1  1031. 

Outrance,  i,  8. 

Overcomes  himself,  he  that,  996. 

Ovo,  ab,  8. 

Ox,  dumb,  248. 

Oxen,  who  drives  fat,  534. 

Oxford,  troops  to,  530. 

Oyster,  'twas  a  fat,  6i8. 

P. 

Pain,  pleasure,  104. 

Paint  them  truest  praise  them  most,  710. 

Painter  and  the  ox,  1051. 

Pale  martyr  in  his  shirt  of  fire,  1066. 

Paradise,  language  of,  6ii. 

Paradise  of  fools,  381 

Parent  knees,  on,  208,  305. 

Parliament  of  man,  162. 

Parting  is  such  sweet  sorrow,  104. 

Partitions,  thin,  do  their  bounds  divide,  410. 

Partnership  in  literature,  175. 

Partridges,  always,  1056. 

Parturiunt  montes,  751. 

Passion,  he  will  hold  thee  when  his,  494. 

Patria;.  Pater,  363. 

Patriotism,  193. 

Pebbles  on  the  shore,  gathering,  152. 

Peccavi  (I  have  Scinde),  599. 

Peckham,  all  holiday  at,  627. 

People  wish  to  be  deceived,  911. 

Perfection  to  the  pea,  184. 

Perfidious  Albion,  32. 

Perhaps,  a  great,  621. 

Personal  advertisements,  28. 

Peter  and  Simon  at  Rome,  310. 

Pharaoh  and  the  Red  Sea,  462. 

Philip  III.  of  Spain,  his  death,  340. 

Phoenician  alphabet,  41. 

Physic  to  the  dogs,  throw,  719. 

Physician  or  fool  at  forty,  394. 

Pierian  spring,  622. 

Piron,  ci-git,  308. 

Pity  gave  ere  charity  began,  356. 

Plato,  amicus,  52. 

Pleasures  are  like  poppies  spread,  913. 

Plunder,  public,  170. 

Pluralizing  of  words,  515. 

Plus  ga  change,  69. 

Point  a  moral  or  adorn  a  tale,  740. 

Poisons  in  fiction,  724. 

Poland,  end  of,  370. 

Polly  matete  crytown,  428. 

Pope's  mustard-maker,  752. 

Pork  and  beans,  83. 

Possession  nine  points  of  law,  84. 

Post  equidem  sedet  atra  cura,  692. 

Post  hoc  propter  hoc,  816. 

Post  of  honor  is  a  private  station,  690. 

Postal-card  ambiguities,  50. 

Pot  and  kettle,  750. 

Powder  dry,  keep  your,  421. 

Praise,  damn  with  faint,  zii. 


INDEX. 


Prayer,  shortest,  417. 

Presents  endear  absents,  9. 

President,  rather  be  right  than,  975. 

Presidents,  American,  in  rhyme,  704. 

Price,  all  men  have  their,  946. 

Pricks,  kicking  against  the,  584. 

Priesthood,  glory  of  the,  1092. 

Prior,  here  lie  the  bones  of  Matthew,  323. 

Private  station,  690. 

Prophet  and  figs,  368. 

Prosperity  and  adversity,  17. 

Proud,  yes,  I  am,  418 

Psalm  of  Life  analyzed,  711. 

Psalmanazar,  George,  766. 

Public  phmder,  170. 

Puffs,  powders,  patches,  35. 

Puns  in  epitaphs,  328^.- 

Purchaser  beware,  let  the,  145. 

Pursuit  and  possession,  913. 

Pursuit  of  knowledge  under  difficulties,  596. 

Puzzles,  855. 


(Juarantme,  393. 

Quarrel  just,  187. 

Que  messieurs  les  assassins,  69. 

Queen  Anne's  fan,  1045. 

Queen  of  Spain  has  no  legs,  341. 

Queer  Street,  627. 

Qui  non  vult  cum  potest,  1054. 

Quickly  done,  922. 

Quips  and  cranks,  616. 

R. 

Rain  cats  and  dogs,  144. 

Rain  of  Marly  does  not  wet,  183. 

Rank,  60. 

Rapture  of  repose,  35. 

Rats  in  the  head.  87. 

Reasons  why  we  smile  or  sigh,  567. 

Rebekah's-camels  Bible,  92. 

Red  hand,  1070. 

Refining  still  went  on,  238. 

Reliable,  515. 

Religion  of  sensible  men,  998. 

Remote,  unfriended,  melancholy,  slow,  48. 

Rest,  and  so  am  I,  at,  309,  315. 

Revenons  i  nos  moutons,  759. 

Reviewers  and  critics,  205. 

Rhymes  at  random  flung,  35. 

Rich  and  rare  were  the  gems  she  wore,  738. 

Rich  man  and  camel,  138. 

Riddle,  293. 

Right,  he's  all,  454. 

Right,  I  see  the,  916. 

Rippach,  Hans  von,  450. 

Roc.  335- 

Rock  me  to  Sleep  controversy,  165. 

Rod  and  child,  1023 

Roman  Empire,  Holy,  482. 

Roman  kings  in  rhyme,  704. 

Romanus  sum,  162. 

Rowley,  387. 

Rum  and  true  religion,  565. 

Rumor  hangs  the  man,  243. 

Runs  away,  he  that,  239. 

Runs  may  read,  he  who,  945. 

Russian  scandal,  462. 

Rutledge  1  who  wrote,  165. 


Sack,  to  give  the,  733. 

Sacks,  Jove  suspends  two,  750. 

Sadder  and  a  wiser  man,  514. 

Sail  or  sell,  599. 

Salmon  furnished  to  apprentices,  66. 

Sands  make  the  mountain,  713. 

Sans  Souci,  mill  of,  464. 

Satiety  and  hunger,  65. 

Saturday  Review  and  Thackeray,  1048. 

Sauce  for  the  goose,  423. 

Savage  "  breast  or  "  beast"  ?  944. 

Savage  woman,  I  will  take  some,  108S. 

Scarlet  hunting-coat,  890. 

Scholastic  questions,  938. 

School-boy,  every,  681. 

Science  in  fiction,  725. 

Scotch  traits,  789. 

Scotchmen,  Dr.  Johnson  on,  505. 

Scotland,  curse  of,  805. 

Sea  of  troubles,  take  arms  against  a,  710. 

Sea  of  upturned  faces,  354. 

Secret  d'ennuyer,  360. 

Seed  of  the   church,  blood  of  martyrs  the. 

Sell,  141. 

Sense  that  he  was  greater  than  his  kind,  636. 

Senses,  seven,  798. 

Sentiment  kills  me,  says  I,  life 

Sere  and  yellow  leaf,  944. 

Seven,  its  mystic  qualities,  828. 

Seventh  son  of  seventh  son,  694. 

Shadows,  coming  events  cast  their,  180. 

Shape  but  that,  take  any,  213. 

Shaped  poems,  270. 

Shell,  hard  and  soft,  450. 

Shelley  forgeries,  390. 

Shepherd,  gentle,  412. 

Shield  of  gold  and  silver,  1064. 

Ship  sail  faster  than  wind,  858. 

Shirt,  boiled,  iii. 

Shirt  of  fire,  1066. 

Shivaree,  149. 

Shocking  bad  hat,  452. 

Shoot  him  on  the  spot,  374. 

Shot  heard  round  the  world,  1020. 

Shoulder,  cold,  175. 

Sick  as  a  cat,  140. 

Sidney's  sister,  Pembroke's  mother,  316. 

Siege  est  fait,  mon,  466. 

Sight,  out  of,  847. 

Sight  so  deform  what  heart  of  rock,  710. 

Sight,  taking  a,  1045. 

Sight,  though  lost  to,  705. 

Silently  as  a  dream  the  fabric  rose,  854. 

Silver  lining,  167. 

Simonides  the  forger,  383. 

Sin,  outer  shell  of,  324. 

Sindbad  the  sailor,  336. 

Sink  or  swim,  live  or  die,  549. 

Siste,  viator,  315. 

Six  hours  to  law,  727. 

Six,  the  number,  828. 

Skin,  human,  in  binding,  lOJ. 

Skin  of  my  teeth,  945. 

Skull,  lines  to  a,  850. 

Slain,  screeching  of  the,  756. 

Slaves  cannot  breathe  in  England,  285. 

Slayer,  if  the  red,  319. 


INDEX. 


1103 


Sleep,  Mr.  Speaker,  530. 

Sleep,  now  I  lay  me  down  to,  822. 

Sle<.p,  rounded  with  a,  1000. 

Slept,  and  dreamed  that  life  was  Beauty,  634. 

Slip  'twixt  cup  and  lip,  208. 

Small  and  great,  713. 

Small  by  degrees,  370. 

Small  things,  520. 

Solitude,  and  call  it  peace,  846. 

Solvitur  ambulando,  855. 

S'orienter,  258. 

Sorrow,  17. 

Sorrow,  a  rooted,  719. 

Soul  above  buttons,  135. 

Soul  is  dead  that  slumbers,  634. 

Soule  is  forme,  and  doth  the  bodie  make,  442. 

Souls,  two,  399. 

Sow  by  the  ear,  254. 

Spain,  Queen  of,  has  no  legs,  341. 

Span,  life  is  but  a,  633. 

Spanish  king's  beard,  587. 

Spartans,  go  tell  the,  303. 

Spent  we  had,  that  we,  317. 

Spirits  clad  in  veils,  567. 

Sport  that  wrinkled  Care  derides,  616. 

Spots,  knock,  590. 

Square  person  in  round  hole,  976. 

Squarson,  912. 

St    Louis,  son  of,  466. 

Stag,  a  poor  sequestered,  1036. 

Standing-fishes  Bible,  92. 

Stars,  fault  not  in  our,  67. 

State  is  myself,  627. 

Steal  not  this  book,  113. 

Step,  first,  920. 

Stolen  horse,  922. 

Stone  walls  do  not  a  prison  make,  921. 

Stools,  between  two,  1064. 

Stranger,  slave,  or  savage,  838. 

Stratford  atte  bowe,  French  of,  396. 

Straws  float  on  surface,  333. 

Strike  when  iron  is  hot,  921,  1054. 

Strive  with  things  impossible,  125. 

Suave  mari  magno,  722. 

Sub  rosa,  982. 

Sudavit  et  alsit,  33. 

Suffering  and  song,  910. 

Sun  back  ?  who  shall  keep  the,  740. 

Superfluous,  the,  668. 

Surrender,  unconditional  and  immediate,  599. 

Surrenders,  General  Taylor  never,  1048. 

Surrenders,  Guard  never,  1048. 

Suspicion,  Caesar's  wife  must  be  above.  137. 

Swapping  horses,  493. 

Sweet  and  bitter  fancies,  103. 

Sweet  with  sour  is  tempered,  104. 

T, 

Take  the  cake,  137. 

Talent  and  genius,  409. 

Talk  and  no  cider,  157. 

Tangled  web  we  weave,  945. 

Taste  and  gout,  312. 

"Taste,  every  one  to  his,  146. 

Taught  how  to  live  and  how  to  die,  154. 

Tavern,  happiness  in  a,  549. 

Tea,  afternoon,  583. 

Tears,  the  big  round,  1036. 

Tell.  William,  463. 


Tennyson-Bulwer  quarrel,  796. 

Terror  to  death,  219. 

Thief  to  catch  a  thief,  1012. 

Things  that  ne'er  were,  nor  are,  357. 

Think,  therefore  I  am,  169. 

Thinks  most,  feels  the  noblest,  345,  740. 

Thirteen  and  Wagner,  174. 

Thirty  days  hath  September,  699. 

Though  lost  to  sight,  to  memory  dear,  705. 

Thought  is  deeper  than  all  speech,  567. 

Threads  turn  to  cords,  437. 

Three  and  Bismarck,  173. 

Three  cheers  and  a  tiger,  1053. 

Three,  its  mystic  qualities,  827. 

Three  L's,  597. 

Three  persons  in  man,  594. 

Three  R's,  947. 

Thrice  he  slew  the  slain,  756. 

Thrice  is  he  armed,  187. 

Thumb,  biting  your,  1045. 

Tide,  the  word,  1054. 

Time,  killing,  308. 

Time,  last  syllable  of  recorded,  633. 

Time  writes  no  wrinkle,  838. 

Times  change,  1050. 

Time's  curative  power,  214. 

To-morrow,  and  to-morrow,  and  to-morrow; 

633. 
Topside  Galah,  889. 
Torches,  dance  of,  212. 
To-remain  Bible,  92. 
Tories,  1085. 
Touch  not  the  cat,  141. 
Tout  est  perdu  fors  I'honneur,  486. 
Town  and  country,  419. 
Treason  doth  never  prosper,  309. 
Trelawny  die?  and  must,  766. 
Tromp  or  Van  Tromp  ?  519. 
Troubled  air,  like  a  meteor  to  the,  719. 
True  blue,  109. 
Truly  rural,  1003. 
Truth  has  such  a  face,  1075. 
Truth,  to  side  with,  is  noble,  581. 
Tsar,  518. 
Turkey,  Job's,  579. 
Turnips  cries,  if  a  man  who,  533. 
Twice-told  tale,  634. 
Two,  229. 

Two  souls  with  but  a  single  thought,  399. 
Tyrant  since,  and  many  a,  838. 


u. 

Unadorned,  adorned  the  most,  1013. 

Under  dog,  243. 

Underneath  this  marble  hearse,  316. 

Unicorn,  336. 

Unwashed,  the  great,  1044. 

Unwept,  unhonored,  and  unsung,  83I 

Up,  Guards,  434. 

Up  the  high  hill  he  heaved,  33. 


Valdarfer  Boccaccio,  97. 
Valet-de-chambre  and  hero,  459, 
Vantage  loaf.  78. 
Veni,  vidi,  vici,  598. 
Veniente  occurrite  morbo,  918. 
Venue  St. -Oris,  833. 


ro4 


INDEX. 


Vicisti,  Galilaee,  403. 

Video  meliora  proboque,  916. 

Viewless  winds,  621. 

Vigilance  and  liberty,  339. 

Vignes,  Jean  des,  570. 

Vinegar  Bible,  91. 

Vinegar,  turns,  and  comes  again  in  play,  204, 

Vintage  saints,  402. 
Viva  Verdi !  13. 
Voice  is  still  for  war,  630. 
Voiceless,  the,  909. 
Vulture  and  lamb,  630. 

W. 

Walk  chalks,  147. 

Wallet  at  his  back.  Time  hath  a,  750. 

Wants  column,  21. 

Ward  has  no  heart,  312. 

War-drum  throbbed  no  longer,  162. 

Waste  its  sweetness  on  the  desert  air,  4o8r- 

Watch,  Paley's,  850. 

Water,  conscious,  187. 

Water  that  is  past,  714. 

Waters  wasted  them,  thy,  838. 

Waverley  mottoes.  761 

Waverley  Novels?  who  wrote  the,  162. 

We  have  met  the  enemy,  1005.  ~ 

Web  of  our  life  is  of  a  mingled  yarn,  499. 

Weeping  thou  sat'st,  whilst  all  around  thee 

smiled,  208,  305. 
Wheel  in  motion,  858. 
Whip  the  cat,  141. 
Whiskey  and  Grant,  428. 
Whistling  of  a  name,  212. 
White,  black  and,  104. 
Who  is  he?  511. 

Who  struck  Billy  Patterson  ?  878. 
Whole,  half  more  than  the,  439. 
Whom  the  gods  love,  421. 
Why  don't  they  eat  cake?  138. 
Wife  a  tin  canister,  526. 


Wife-hater  Bible,  92. 

Will  not  when  he  may,  1054. 

Win  or  lose  it  all,  961. 

Wisdom,  absolute,  10. 

Wisdom  and  wit  but  little  seen,  530. 

Wise  child  knows  his  own  father,  152. 

Wise  man  knows  himself  to  be  a  fool,  59*x. 

Wise,  who  are  a  little,  623. 

Wit  a  man,  simplicity  a  child,  316. 

Wit,  like  tierce  claret,  351. 

Witty,  wicked,  and  so  thin,  309. 

Woe,  to  feel  another's,  707. 

Wolves  in  England,  465. 

Woman  gave  birth  to  thee,  305. 

Woman,  like,  kind,  351. 

Woman  scorned,  666. 

Woman  that  deliberates,  225. 

Women  and  priests  in  heaven,  311. 

Word  no  man  relies  on,  308. 

Words  and  actions,  14,  225. 

Words,  short,  736. 

World,  an  excellent,  that  we  live  in,  311. 

World  moves,  252. 

World,  my  country  is  the,  162. 

World's  a  bubble,  633. 

Worth  a  thousand  men,  495. 

Wound  so  great  because  it  is  so  small,  125. 

Write  a  book,  iii 

Write  fair,  a  baseness  to,  1025. 

Write  like  an  angel,  61. 

Write  with  ease,  258. 

Writing,  minute,  520. 

Y. 

Yates  and  Thackeray,  404. 

Yorick  !  alas,  poor,  850. 

You  may  break,  you  may  shatter,  983. 


Zoological  Garden  hoax,  473. 
Zounds,  832. 


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